Father Goose (1964) Movie Script

This is the Australian Broadcasting
Commission. And now the news.
Japanese forces continue their
heavy attack on the Philippines
and Dutch East Indies.
Occupation of Manila is now complete
with American and Philippine forces
under the command of General MacArthur
withdrawing to the Bataan Peninsula.
His Majesty's forces are carrying
out an orderly evacuation
of the New Guinea coast, in preparation
for defence of Port Moresby and...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
s M/ I got me ten fine toes to wiggle in the sand
s M/ Lots of idle fingers snap to my command
s M/ A lovely pair of heels
s M/ that kick to beat the band
s M/ Contemplating nature can be fascinating
s M/ Add to these a nose that I can thumb
s M/ And a mouth, by gum, have I
s M/ To tell the whole damn world
s M/ if you don't happen to like it
s M/ Deal me out, thank you kindly, pass me by
s M/ Pass me by, pass me by
s M/ If you don't happen to like it, pass me by
Hey, hey, hey.
Get off.
Boom...
Here, just a minute.
Where do you think you're
going with those, hmm?
Do you know who I am?
Um... Not exactly, no.
Well, we'll let it go this time.
Yes, sir. I understand. Salamaua
will be cleared by noon the latest.
Nothing left that the
Japanese will be able to use.
Sir, there's a chap
outside who...
May I respectfully remind the admiral that
I was harbour master here for 20 years?
I helped put the docks together so I should
certainly be able to blow them apart.
Sir, there's a chap outside
who's pinching our petrol.
All coastal watching stations
are assigned, except...
- Matalava, sir.
- Except Matalava, sir.
I haven't been able to find
a replacement for Anderson.
I don't believe there's a civilian
left on the entire north coast.
We could have transferred George Dickens
if he hadn't got himself eaten that way.
You needn't make him sound
such a shirker, Stebbings.
What's that, sir? For want of a nail?
The war was...
Yes, I'm well aware
of that, sir.
Hello, hello, hello.
I think I may have
found our nail, sir.
A rusty one, I grant you, but they don't
come any sharper. Excuse me, sir.
Sir, that's the chap I
was telling you about.
Later, Stebbings.
Who is he, sir? Is he
someone I should know?
His name's Walter
Eckland, an American.
He knows these islands
like the back of his hand.
Oh.
Oh well, now that America's in the war,
he's probably on his way back to enlist.
Eckland's not on his way
anywhere, Stebbings.
Hasn't been for years.
Hello, Walter.
Frank! That you inside there, Frank?
What have you done to yourself?
- There's a war on, Walter.
- Everybody's saying that.
At the moment, we're losing it.
I guess you must be.
Cheek of the man!
That's quite a boat you have there, Walter.
Doesn't it belong to old Van Der Hoeven?
- No!
- Whose is it, then?
- Mine.
- How did you get it?
- I bought it from old Van Der Hoeven.
- What with?
American dollars.
You've never had more than $200
at one time since I've known you.
You can't tell me Van Der Hoeven
sold you an $18,000 launch for $200.
- No, it cost me $400.
- $400?
You know, that's exactly
the way he said it.
Only, I pointed out to him
he might as well sell
it to me as let the
Japanese have it for free.
What impresses me, Walter, is the
fact that you even had $400.
Well, I didn't.
I only had 200,
just as you said.
I owe him the rest.
Well, come along. Lend a hand.
Come on.
Empty hands
make idle minds.
Here, pick those up.
No, no, no.
Two, come on.
? Contemplating nature can be fascinating ?
Do you know what the coastwatching
service is, Walter?
- I beg your pardon?
- The coast watching service.
It's a chance to become a hero.
Why would I want to do that?
It's a cushy assignment for anyone
who knows these waters intimately.
With never a dull moment, I can tell you!
Working behind the enemy lines...
Stebbings, please.
Walter, listen to me.
There's nothing to it really. Each man is
assigned an island, often uninhabited.
He stays there alone and
radios to headquarters
any movement of Japanese
planes or ships which...
- You're not listening to me, are you?
- Hold it, hold it.
Hey, hey, hey! Come on! Beat it, scram!
Come on! Get off!
Did you hear what I was saying?
- No, what were you saying?
- About the coastwatchers.
Matalava will be in the centre of things
when the Japanese move towards New Guinea.
It's important work, Walter.
Damned important.
I'd like you to volunteer.
Oh, I'd love to, Frank,
but I've only just volunteered for
another important watching service,
the 'Watch Out For
Walter Eckland' service.
A great many lives are
at stake, Mr Eckland.
Now listen to me, both of you.
Several years ago, I made
peace with the world.
If the world isn't bright
enough to make peace
with itself, it'll have to
settle things without me.
It isn't anything
permanent, Walter.
It's just until I find
a replacement for you.
The other man went down with fever
and we had to take him off.
Well, now, Frank. You've
known me a long time.
Do you really think you're
gonna talk me into it?
No, I suppose not.
Stebbings, confiscate all the
small craft on this pier.
- But this is the only one there is, sir.
- Confiscate it.
- Frank, you won't get away with that.
- Proceed with your orders, Stebbings.
- Aye-aye, sir.
- Frank, you can't do this to me!
I'll go over your head.
Who's in charge here?
Frank, you can't do this to me!
That boat's all I have.
You said we've been friends
for a long time, Walter.
Do you really think you
could talk me out of it?
If I go to Matalava, I
keep the boat, right?
Well, no use fighting it.
What time do I shove off?
An hour be all right?
Anything you say, Frank.
You're the skipper.
Hey, buddy, lend me a hand with those cans.
I'll get on board.
But sir, you don't really expect him
to go to Matalava, do you, sir?
As soon as he clears harbor,
we'll never see him again.
Where's your faith in
human nature, Stebbings?
Oh yeah!
- Good heavens!
- What is it?
He...
He made a gesture, sir.
You set a fine course
there, Walter.
My compliments.
Yeah, I shoulda led
you up on the reef!
It's a sorry day when a man's
friends don't trust him.
What about all those provisions?
You don't suppose that boat
of yours could carry them?
Frank...
I want you to take all those
provisions, and I want you to...
Hey! Be careful with that!
We'll be at Kings
Point in Australia.
When you call us, we want you
to use the following code.
Kings Point is Briar Patch.
I'm Big Bad Wolf, Stebbings
here is Bo Peep,
and you're...
- Mother Goose, sir.
- That's it. You're Mother Goose.
Now try to remember all that, Walter.
It's bloody important.
Yeah, bloody.
All right, then.
Goodbye, Mother Goose.
Mother Goose...
- Let's get under way, Stebbings.
- Sir, it has occurred to me
that as soon as we've
gone, Mr Eckland might...
- Proceed, Stebbings. Hard to port.
- All right. Coxswain, hard...
Excuse me, sir, but
did you say...
- Hard a port, son.
- Aye-aye, sir.
Coxswain, hard a port.
Hey! Hold it, hold it!
Are you crazy?
Look out, look out, Frank!
Do you hear me?
Hard a starboard! Frank!
Watch out!
Are you gone nuts? Look out!
Frank, can you hear me?
Hard a starboard, you
ignorant, silly son of a...
Oh great, have you lost your mind?
Look at my boat!
Terribly sorry, Walter. Our
steering must have jammed.
I'm sorry.
If you didn't know how to work one
of those, why didn't you say so?
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, stop saying that. Look at my boat.
- What am I gonna do now?
- Become a coastwatcher, I expect.
Lucky we put all those
supplies ashore.
Oh, Walter. We'll stand by
until you get safely in.
Frank, I'll sue ya! I'll sue!
I'll sue the entire war!
Quite right, Walter.
I'll be your witness.
Oh, and Walter. Thanks
for volunteering.
Oh come on. Buzz off.
- Mother Goose?
- Frank!
- I knew you wouldn't leave me here!
- This is the Big Bad Wolf.
Go away.
I know you're saying
something, Mother Goose,
but I can't hear you.
You've got to flip the key.
- I said go away.
- You're still not coming through.
There's a button on
the microphone,
you have to press it down
while you're speaking.
Can you hear me now?
That's better. You'll find
some charts there, Walter,
identifying enemy ships and aircraft.
Study them, will you?
Have you seen anything yet?
Any planes or ships?
- Yeah, some planes.
- Ours or theirs?
Kind of depends which side
you're on, doesn't it?
Walter, news has just
come through that
the Japanese took
Singapore this morning.
Frank, what keeps them from
taking Walter Eckland?
We've 32 spotters spread
over 3,000 islands.
So you see the odds are in our
favour that you'll never be found.
Our favour? You're not stuck out
in the middle of nowhere, I am.
- Now when do I get off?
- As soon as we've found a replacement.
Meantime, be good enough
to keep in touch, Walter.
Oh, and I am sorry about your boat.
I really am.
Is Big Bad Wolf really sorry?
Because if he is,
Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep
can do something for Mother Goose.
They can go...
I don't really
blame him, do you?
I can't see what we've accomplished.
I don't think he'll report in.
You can lead a horse to water,
but can you make it drink?
When he gets thirsty enough,
he'll drink, Stebbings.
He'll drink.
Frank, can you hear me?
Frank?
- Loud and clear. What is it?
- Where'd those men put the whiskey?
I've looked all over this dump.
Did they keep it for themselves?
Seamen of His Majesty's Navy?
You must be joking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it?
Well, I can imagine
how dull it must get
for someone left all alone on
a small island, so I decided...
All right.
Get to the bad news.
I decided to liven things up a bit by
making a fun and game thing out of it.
What sort of fun and games?
I had my men hide all the
bottles around the island.
In very unlikely places. You'd
never find them by yourself.
The ground rules are simple.
You report an enemy ship
or plane movement
and I tell you where the bottles are.
One report, one bottle.
Hold it a minute, Frank. I hear
a flight going over right now.
Just a minute while
I get binoculars.
Oh yes. There's six, seven,
eight of them heading south.
They're... Nakajima 97s.
But just a minute while I
verify that on the chart.
Walter, there is another
rule attached to this.
It has to be a confirmed report.
- Confirmed how?
- By other spotters along the line.
Now just tell me what all those
planes were that you saw.
Frank? Frank. Frank.
Frank, wake up, Frank.
Frank?
Briar Patch here, Mother Goose.
Bo Peep speaking.
- Briar Patch? That's a new one, isn't it?
- We've moved.
- Are you at Kings Point already?
- Listen, you must use the code names.
If you don't like it, fire me.
Now, get Houghton.
- The regulations...
- Frank here, Walter.
- Mother Goose, sir.
- What's new?
Five Mitsubishi light bombers at
around 10,000, headed southwest.
- Southwest at 10 thou.
- Yeah.
Got it, Sport. Thanks!
Hold on now! Wait a minute.
Whoa!
Fun and game time. I played
the game, how about the fun?
Confirmed, Walter, remember?
- But Frank, I swear!
- Then you've nothing to worry about.
Sit tight, Mother Goose.
Sit tight, sit tight...
Briar Patch here. Are you
there, Mother Goose?
I'm here, Frank. I'm
here, I'm here.
We've just received news that
your report has been confirmed.
Congratulations.
Never mind the congratulations.
Where is it?
Proceed 50 yards east
northeast to a large rock.
Then 20 yards due east
to a coconut palm.
Not so fast, not so fast.
Wait a minute.
20 yards due east
to a coconut palm.
Sir?
Sorry to disturb you at this hour, sir,
but we've heard from Humpty Dumpty.
Oh come on, Stebbings. You can tell me.
Who's Humpty Dumpty?
Perry on Bundi Island.
He reports enemy landings
here on this fare,
here and here on Greater and Lesser
Samengo, and here on Prince Consort.
They've ringed him
in pretty well.
He says they don't know that he's there
yet, but expects someone any time now.
Well, Combat can't spare a thing. All
our planes and ships are committed.
Who's our nearest man?
I'm afraid... he is, sir.
Briar Patch calling Mother Goose.
Come in, Mother Goose.
Briar Patch calling Mother Goose.
Come in, Mother Goose.
Do you read me, Mother Goose?
This is Briar Patch.
Do you read me, Mother Goose?
Yes, yes. I read you. What's worse
is I can hear you. What do you want?
Walter, I haven't been sleeping too
well because I've treated you so badly
- so I'm gonna make it up to you.
- Whatever it is, the answer is no.
I don't blame you, sport.
I don't blame you at all.
I'm not listening, Frank.
But supposing I got someone
to repair your boat for you.
- I'm listening, Frank.
- And after it's repaired,
to stay on there as
your replacement.
- Who is he?
- Malcolm Perry, one of our regulars.
- When can he be here?
- Tonight too soon?
No, Frank, tonight's just fine.
Just fine.
There's just one small thing.
- Uh-oh.
- He can't get to you, you must fetch him.
- From where, Frank?
- Bundi Island.
Bundi? How do you suggest
I get there, Frank?
That launch of yours has
a dinghy, doesn't it?
All those miles of open sea and
back again in a seven-foot dink?
You're nuts!
Shall I call him back, sir?
Frank?
Yes, Walter?
Suppose I could make it to Bundi, where
would I put in, the south jetty?
That's right. Only be careful.
There's a pretty fair moon tonight.
You got some special reason
for telling me that?
No, no, no. Only it'd be
better without a moon.
Why, Frank?
Well, Bundi's liable
to be occupied.
- With what, Frank?
- I didn't say it would be.
- Frank?
- Yes, Walter?
Kiss my foot, Frank.
If he leaves within the hour, he
should make Bundi just after dark.
But sir, you heard what he said.
He won't go to Bundi.
Frank!
Yes, Walter.
All those miles of open sea, a man
would need to keep warm, wouldn't he?
- Two bottles.
- All of them, Frank.
- Three.
- All of them, Frank.
- Five.
- All of them, Frank.
Got a pencil?
Number four is ten yards west
of the shack under a mango.
All right.
Five is 30 paces from
there, due north,
in a stunted palm.
Just a second. Slow down.
Number six is...
Perry?
- Who are you?
- I... I asked you first.
- Where's Perry?
- Who's Perry?
Perry. The man who lives here.
I buried him.
He was dead.
I found him here.
A Japanese plane must
have attacked the house.
- How did you get here?
- I...
Duck.
They've passed by before.
I think they are landing on
the other side of the island.
What makes you think that?
Well, I saw them.
If you want to look,
there's a place over there.
Why would I do a
silly thing like that?
Let's get out of here.
Do you have a boat?
No, I walked.
Come on.
Come on, we're leaving now.
Look out. Come on, look out.
Just, er... just...
What? What are all those?
As you can see,
they're young ladies.
Now listen, Miss
whatever your name is.
- Oh, Freneau, Catherine Freneau.
- Charmed. Now suppose you tell me...
- What is your name?
- Eckland.
- How do you do?
- How do you do? Now...
I don't what this is all about but...
Please, Miss...
I don't believe it. Miss? Mi...
Ssshh!
Where is your boat?
I can't see it.
Lady, it's right where we're standing.
If you spit, you'd sink it.
Oh dear.
Oh well,
I suppose we'll just have to manage.
Come on, girls, into the boat.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.
Everybody settle down.
- You don't think they'll all fit in that?
- All right, Mr Eckland.
Which ones do you suggest
we leave behind?
You decide. I'll
leave it to you.
It's suicide.
Would you stand a better
chance without me?
Naturally.
Very well.
Well, I suggest you
leave immediately.
Well, that's very decent of you.
You're a very good sport. Thank you.
Now, the rest of
you, snap it up.
Jenny, you're the smallest.
Sit in the back.
You'll be out of the way.
Do you mind, lady? This is
my boat, such as it is.
If anyone's going to sink her, it'll be me.
I'll seat them.
You sit in the back.
That's right.
Give it to me. Let go.
- Mr Eckland.
- There's no room for baggage. Come on.
My glasses.
- I don't want to go.
- That's tough. Come here.
Please, take your hand off that.
All right, now...
- My scent.
- Huh?
Scent. It's called Anticipation.
Two pounds ten the ounce.
You don't say.
All right, sit there, that's right.
Take your hands off that.
What is that thing?
A cricket bat.
- Isn't it a smasher?
- Yeah, a smasher.
I only hope you all can swim.
Take your hand off that!
Now you two. Get in the bottom of the boat.
Get in the bottom...
- They don't understand English.
- Sure they do.
See?
Please!
All right.
- Now, I guess that's about all.
- Don't forget Gretchen.
- What?
- Don't forget Gretchen.
Oh, that's her friend.
I'll help her in, dear.
Would you mind?
Now, then, Mr Eckland, I
suggest you leave immediately.
Oh, lady? Lady? Do you mind?
Just get in the boat.
- Well, you said it would...
- I don't care what I said.
If by some miracle we do make it, I'd be
stuck with them. Now get in the boat.
All right.
That's better.
No, no, no, not that!
We'd have had a use for that.
Come on.
Come on!
- It's all right, now, don't be afraid.
- Quiet, quiet.
Mr Eckland, please keep the boat quiet.
The girls are extremely frightened.
Will you shut up, lady?
Now, here, get off of my paddle.
I'm terribly sorry, but you put it
there in the first place, you know.
Now, that's all right, children.
Don't be scared.
There we go.
Mr Eckland, must you?
What are you, some kind
of religious fanatic?
I couldn't care less what
you do to yourself, but...
must you do it in front
of the children?
- No.
- Well, then.
Well, then, tell 'em
to turn around.
That is not exactly what I
had in mind, Mr Eckland.
- Now, lady...
- The name is Freneau,
Catherine Freneau.
I don't know what
you had in mind.
I don't even know who you are or
what you were doing on that island.
Well, if you must know, an
American plane left us there.
- We were on our way from...
- I wanna go home.
Oh, Anne, it's
rude to interrupt.
We were on our way from New
Britain to Port Moresby
when the pilot was ordered to
pick up eight survivors of an
Australian bomber that had
crashed in the water.
Hey, you, take that bat or
whatever it is out of the water.
It's acting like a rudder.
Harriet, really.
- The name's Harri.
- All right, Harri.
He said he'd try and pick us up later
but that was five hours ago and he...
- Quiet.
- You don't have to be so rude.
Quiet, I think I hear something.
- Duck!
- What?
Put your heads down, do as I tell
you, keep your faces covered.
Hey, keep your face down!
- Are they Japanese?
- I don't know. Do you want me to ask?
Hold on! We've gotta
ride out the wake.
- We're sinking!
- Don't just sit there, damn it! Bail!
Mr Eckland, your
language, really!
Just bail! Do as I say!
Come on, you can move
faster than that!
Come on, all of you!
Use your hands, anything!
Come on, keep bailing. Faster!
Bail! Why aren't you?
Come on, now! Get to work!
Go on!
That's better.
- Hold on to the boat, Harri!
- Stay in the boat!
Well, really...
Come on, girls.
Right, come on.
Come on, Anne.
Kings Point? Get Houghton.
Is that you, Mother Goose?
Walter, I can't tell you
how delighted I am.
Oh, you've Mother Goosed
me for the last time.
- What are you talking about?
- Don't play stupid with me.
You'd sell out your father
if you know who he was.
Walter? Whatever's wrong...
Walter?
- Frank, get them off of here.
- Get who off?
You know who.
Get 'em off.
No one could have
known we were there.
- The radio was destroyed.
- Will you please stay out of this?
- I'm only trying to...
- I'm capable of handling this myself.
- I'm hungry!
- So am I!
Walter, what's...
Walter, who's...
Walter!
Thank you. Now, suppose
you tell me who's there.
Well...
I am Miss Catherine Freneau.
Who is this, please?
Commander Frank Houghton
of His Majesty's Navy.
Who are you, Miss Freneau, and
what are you doing there?
- I'd like to hear that myself.
- I am the daughter of Charles Freneau,
the French Consul at Rabaul.
- I heard children's voices.
- Yes.
I am in charge of seven students
from the consulate school.
Four English, two
French, one Australian,
all of them daughters of
diplomatic personnel.
When the bombing started, it was
decided to evacuate them to Australia.
Unfortunately, the plane our group
was on put us down at Bundi.
And now Mr Eckland has been
kind enough to bring us here.
- What about Malcolm Perry?
- Well, I'm sorry, Commander.
The house had apparently been attacked
from the air and when we found him...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Commander, how soon do
you think you'll be able to...
arrange for our transportation?
I'd like to hear
that as well, yeah.
That's a difficult question
to answer, Miss Freneau.
If you'll just be a little patient...
Never mind their
patience, Frank.
My patience.
Get them off of here.
All right, Walter. I'll take
it to the top. Stand by.
Stand by.
If you're waiting for the big finale,
I'm sorry, this is all I do.
- Oh, son of a...!
- Mr... Eckland!
I'm bleeding.
Oh dear.
Mr Eckland, we could
all do with some food.
Elizabeth, you and
Harri open some tins.
Anne, Christine and Jenny. Find
the knives, forks and napkins.
That'll be a good trick.
Napkins.
Angelique, Dominique,
rangez cette table.
Oui, mademoiselle.
Hey! Be careful. What are
you doing with those?
- Tu comprends, toi?
- Pas un mot.
Mr Eckland, where are
your tea things?
- My what?
- Your tea things.
Last time I looked, they were
next to the finger bowls.
Hey, hey! Be careful with that!
Didn't I tell you to...
Oh, it's an empty.
Are you standing by, Walter?
All set to go, Frank.
What did you work out?
- A parachute drop.
- A what?
They've got to be picked
up, not put down.
We thought you could
do with more provisions,
what with all those
extra mouths.
I want their mouths out of here.
When are you coming for them?
Well, that's rather
difficult to say.
- Well, try saying today.
- I don't think it'll be today, Walter.
Well, what's making that
parachute drop, a seagull?
We can only manage a night drop.
There's no way to land.
Frank, you still haven't said
when you're gonna get them off.
No, I haven't, have I?
Two or three weeks?
- Two or three?
- Four.
- Four?
- With luck.
We'll have to stay here a month?
I don't want to stay here.
Well, Frank, you've slipped
it to me again, haven't ya?
I'm sorry, Walter.
There's a war on.
Stop saying that!
Would you be so kind as to
contact my father in Rabaul
and have him inform
the parents of
the girls' that they're
quite safe?
All civilian personnel are being evacuated
from New Britain, Miss Freneau,
but I'll see to it
that they're informed.
Signing off.
Three or four weeks.
I heard it. I heard that.
Mr Eckland, may I speak with
you outside for a moment?
Some other time. I've been up all night.
I'm going to bed.
Girls?
Go outside and play. But
stay close to the house.
Tell 'em to stay off the
beach or out in the open.
- Mr Eckland?
- Yes, sir.
It now appears likely we'll remain
here together for some time to come.
This being the case, I think it would be
wise of us to arrive at an understanding.
It must be quite clear to you that the
children must be our first consideration.
Your first consideration.
I'm my first consideration.
They are young, sensitive
and impressionable.
- So am I.
- They've been through a trying experience
and they will need a normal,
orderly routine established
- and I expect you to do your share.
- Oh, sure, sure.
It was quite one thing for you to live as
you did when you were alone on this island
but you are no longer alone and your
behaviour is totally unsuitable.
Your language is common,
your eating habits...
- revolting.
- Oh, really?
Your appearance
disgraceful, and...
as for your drinking, that
must stop immediately.
I will not have the
children subjected to it.
You are, after all, the
only man with whom they'll
come in contact, that makes
you the father figure.
- Are you finished?
- Yes.
Good, now let me tell you something.
I am not a father figure.
I am not an uncle figure, or a
brother figure or a cousin figure.
In fact, the only figure I intend
being is a total stranger figure.
So now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm going to bed.
And now I'm supposed to cover my eyes and
run screaming, you'll be disappointed.
I doubt very much anything
you could do would shock me.
Let me repeat. My only
concern is for the children.
Why don't you concern yourself
with them and let me sleep?
Gladly. As soon as you've
told me where we will stay.
Stay anywhere you like.
As this hovel seems to be the only shelter,
it's obvious we will have to stay here.
You know what fat chance means? This is
my hovel, so back out and let me sleep.
Very well.
Oh, for...
Huh? What, what, what...?
What the...?
[ Speaks French ]
Lady, you are making
a powerful enemy.
Girls, let's get in.
You ought to be ashamed
of yourselves.
A gentleman simply does not enter a
room when ladies are not decent.
Well, you learn
something every day.
I have to use the radio.
All right, Mr Eckland.
You may come in now.
Didn't you want
to use the radio?
Yes.... radio.
What's it doing over here?
Kings Point? This is Eckland. Six
Mitsu 104s heading east at 10,000.
- Message received, Mother Goose.
- Message received.
Are you looking for
something, Mr Eckland?
I asked you to stop
drinking, but you wouldn't.
- Oh no. Where is it?
- Somewhere where you won't find it.
Gone again. Of all
the meddlesome...
Oh. Come on. Where is it?
Have you got it up here?
Whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait!
Oh, you wait. You just wait!
Kings Point? This
is Eckland again.
Hello, Mother Goose.
This is Briar Patch.
- Get Houghton on the double.
- Big Bad Wolf is engaged.
I don't care if he's married.
You get him.
You know lady, you
missed your calling.
You ought to carry a tambourine
and put fig leaves on statues.
- What is it, Walter?
- Frank?
This is a military zone and
you're in command.
You tell Miss Goody Two Shoes
here to get off my back.
- Goody Two Shoes?
- Tell her she's a pain in the...
Uh! Please, Walter. Be civil.
Civil? Who pushed who
out of whose home?
Who stole whose liquor? Who
bit whose hand? Twice.
- She bit you? Miss Freneau?
- No.
You tell her to give me back my booze. You
tell her to butt out. You tell her...
All right, Walter.
I'll speak to her.
Here.
Yes?
Miss Freneau. I'm sure you've noticed Mr
Eckland is not the most sociable sportsman.
Mr Eckland is a rude, foul-mouthed,
drunken, filthy beast.
Give me that. This is the
filthy beast speaking.
Listen. When you send those
supplies, send plenty of whiskey.
I insist you do nothing
of the kind, Commander.
Now be quiet, both of you.
We've arranged for the parachute drop
to take place tomorrow night at 2200.
I suggest therefore if you want anything
at all, you give me a list of your needs.
- Whiskey!
- We know about you. What about the girls?
- Summer clothes.
- Peppermint drops.
- Glace au chocolat.
- Fraises du bois.
Girls, please.
- I have prepared a list.
- Now hold it.
You've taken over everything else, but
the radio is still my responsibility.
Eight nighties.
Would you repeat that, Walter?
Mr Eckland isn't here any more, Commander.
I'll give you the list.
Eight nighties.
Nighties?
That is correct. In various sizes,
starting with children's size 6.
And please make that
one a bunny suit.
- A what?
- A bunny suit.
I'm sure you've seen them, Commander.
You know, with the hands and feet.
With the hands and feet.
Mother Goose?
Mr Eckland? Big Bad Wolf is
calling you on the wireless.
Oh. Don't touch anything. In fact,
you'd better get off the boat.
Oh, his shirt, and
his pants too.
Good morning.
Er... I'm wanted on the radio.
- Ah...
- Oh.
Hey, Kings Point?
This is Eckland.
Come in, Mother Goose.
This is Briar Patch.
Well, you had
something to tell me.
Big Bad Wolf had a message for you
concerning the parachute drop.
He gave it to Goody Two Shoes.
Oh. Er...
Commander Houghton couldn't wait. He
asked me to give you the message.
- Well?
- Well what?
- The message.
- What message?
The message message.
Oh, that message. Oh, I
wrote it down for you.
- That's in French.
- Oh, is it?
- Oh, so it is.
- Read it, please.
[ Speaks French ]
No, no, no. No. You're
reading it in French.
- Well, it's written in French.
- Oh...
Translate it.
Oh, you want it in English.
Um... Commander Houghton says there's
too much enemy activity in the area
to chance a...
How do you say in
English "parachute"?
- Parachute.
- Really? Oh.
There's too much enemy activity in
the area to chance a parachute drop
and he asked us to make do
with the supplies we have.
- Oh no...
- Mr Eckland?
Er...
I don't suppose there's any
use my asking your permission
to share certain of your
personal belongings with us?
So far, you've shared me out of my
home, my bed, my food and my shirt.
- How about sharing my things with me?
- Would you like some tea?
- Tea?
- Lemon or milk?
- Milk?
- Sorry, we're out of milk.
- Oh...
- But we could use some place settings,
some rope, some tools, and above
all, a change of clothing.
Above all, I could use some whiskey.
Now how about making a trade?
Sorry. That I can't do.
Then, madam, I wish
you a good day.
- Mr Eckland, wait!
- Hello, Mr Eckland.
- The answer is no.
- Bonjour, monsieur.
- [ Speaks French ]
- I wouldn't think of it.
- Aah!
- You stepped on my foot.
You put it under mine.
- Look out.
- What a bunch of nuts.
Oh, now, hold it! And
what have you got there?
Oh! Oh no! Oh...
- Come back here, you pirate!
- Mr Eckland, stop chasing the girls.
I'm not chasing them. They're all
crooks, and you're the crookiest.
And a good day to
you, Mr Eckland.
Rumplestiltskin?
Rumplestiltskin?
Can anyone hear me?
I can hear you, Rumplestiltskin.
- I can hear you too.
- Where's Mr Eckland?
He's not here. Nobody's here
except my friend Gretchen.
We're not well today.
Say hello, Gretchen.
Did you hear Gretchen?
She said hello.
And I'm sorry you're
not well today.
Go and get Mr Eckland, please?
The Filthy Beast? Oh,
we don't speak to him.
Hey, hey, hey. Come on,
get away from there.
- Come along, Gretchen.
- Is that you, Walter?
- No, it's Gretchen.
- Keep them away from that radio, will you?
You keep them away
from the radio.
Beat it.
Miss Freneau told us
to stay in the house.
After breakfast, may we
go out with the others?
No. Not until you're
feeling better.
It's Gretchen that's not well.
And I'm tired of staying here.
Oh, do stop complaining.
You sound like Anne.
Is anything wrong?
The whole Japanese
navy's anchored off shore,
They're sending a boat in.
Where are the other children?
Come on, let's round them up.
Let's get them in the shack.
Mr Eckland, shouldn't we report the
Japanese to Commander Houghton?
In five minutes, he can
talk to them personally.
You and Gretchen
stay in the house.
Come on, hurry it up.
Get in the house.
- [ Speaks French ]
- Oui, mademoiselle.
- Quickly. Where are the other two?
- Down on the beach collecting coconuts.
- I told you to keep them off the beach.
- No you didn't.
Yes, I did. But you weren't listening,
as usual. Come and show me.
Come on. Let's go.
- Show me where.
- Anne's up in one of those trees.
Uh-huh. Get down.
Stay here. Don't move.
Hey, stay. Ssshh.
If she opens her
mouth, we've had it.
Jenny hasn't said a word since she
left her parents seven days ago.
I thought you might have noticed.
She can still scream, can't she?
Here.
There you are.
Baby, ssshh. Baby, ssshh.
Don't cry. Ssshh. Ssshh.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
Stay up.
- I wish I knew what they were saying.
- Ssshh.
The one with the glasses is the cook.
Their captain adores turtle soup.
He sent them ashore for turtles.
There doesn't seem to be any.
Oh, it's all right. They're
going to leave now.
- Oh dear.
- What?
One of them suggested they
bring back coconuts instead.
It's a bad dream.
The cook says the captain wants turtle
soup or nothing. He's sick of coconuts.
Good for him.
- Ooh!
- What?
He just called the captain a
dirty name, and they're leaving.
Help. I'm slipping.
Quick, let's go.
Go on, beat it. Buzz off. You're
not supposed to be on the boat.
Get off the boat.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And what's your name?
You got a name, haven't you?
See this whistle? Would
you like to have it?
OK. All you have to do is repeat
three simple words after me.
Is that a deal?
Just repeat three words.
All right. Elephant.
Elephant.
- Rhinoceros.
- Rhinoceros.
- Wrong.
- Why?
No, not why: wrong. Wrong is
the third word. You lose.
No! Give me that back!
Oh, I didn't think you'd
be a sore loser. Here.
Fine.
- I'm sorry. We're all out of whistles.
- I told Harri she could help us.
- Help us do what?
- Fix your boat.
Harri knows everything
about boats.
How'd you like to
swab down the deck?
Smashing. I'd love to.
Good. You'll find a mop down below.
Go ahead.
Oh, hello, hello.
[ Speaks French ]
[ Speaks French ]
Er... Well, you do that.
Do that.
But do it quietly.
- Mr Eckland?
- Quiet, quiet. Want me to mess this up?
Mr Eckland?
Now, I know you've saved up a lot to say,
but would you mind spreading it out?
You're doing it wrong.
It's backwards.
No, it isn't. See, the
boat's upside down.
Do it this way so when
you turn it over, you...
How can I get anything done when
you're chattering all the time?
Besides, you should be working.
Go on.
It can't be.
Red light!
So this is where you are.
What are you all doing here?
- Look at their clothes.
- They're my clothes.
- But they're filthy.
- No, they're dirty. I'm filthy.
All of you get back to the house.
It's nearly time for your lessons.
- Mr Eckland asked us to help fix his boat.
- I'm sure he will excuse you now.
- But we want to stay here.
- I don't...
- What did you say, Jenny?
- We want to stay here.
Mr Eckland got her to speak.
I created a monster.
A talking person.
Well, better do as she said.
Get going.
Thank you, Mr Eckland. Next time I want
them to talk or do anything, I'll call you.
Well, it's not my fault that
boats are more fun than lessons.
I did it on purpose.
Nothing is ever your
fault, Mr Eckland.
And if I return seven wild Indians
to their families, who trusted me with
them, that won't be your fault either.
- Sshh-sshh.
- Huh?
You don't have to be a
schoolteacher all the time.
I am not a schoolteacher, but some form
of discipline has to be maintained.
Ssshh.
When did you teach them
something useful?
What do you suggest?
Drinking and swearing?
Why are we whispering?
Oh!
I don't know. Why were
we whispering, hmm?
- Is it edible?
- No, I get lonely.
Why don't you teach them
something like that?
Something practical,
like catching fish.
Oh well, that doesn't
seem too difficult.
I mean, if you can do it,
I'm sure anyone can.
Try it. I haven't had
my morning laugh yet.
All right.
Oh, that was good. Good.
Woo!
I didn't quite understand the
reason for that last movement.
Would you mind
demonstrating it again?
I have an infuriating lack of
talent for doing simple things.
You probably don't do
'em right, that's why.
All right, all right.
Just stay there.
I like fish, but
fish don't like me.
All right, now, be quiet.
Just keep still.
Give me your hand. Cup them, cup them.
That's right.
Oh.
- OK?
- Mm-hm.
Now, watch what you're doing.
Hey, here she comes again.
- How do you know it's a she?
- Her mouth is open. Now be quiet.
OK, now... now slowly.
Slowly, now.
Slowly.
S... S...
Mr Eckland? Aren't we
moving too slowly now?
Hmm? Hmm?
- Shouldn't we...
- Shouldn't we what?
- What?
- You said shouldn't we.
Shouldn't we what?
Well, you've got the
hang of it now.
Oh... We didn't catch a fish.
I know, I know. That's right.
That's right. We didn't.
But you got
the hang of it.
- You already said that.
- Oh, I did.
Mr Eckland, are you going to show me
how to catch a fish or aren't you?
I aren't.
I wanna go back now.
Just as soon as I've picked
some of these berries.
- What if they're dangerous?
- Oh, we can always ask Mr Eckland.
Yeah, if he says eat them,
we'll know they're poisonous.
Oh... Oh!
- Something bit me.
- A snake, there, next to your leg.
- Woo!
- It bit you! It bit you!
Oh. Let's go back, quickly.
[ Speaks French ]
[ Speaks French ]
What happened? I don't
know what she's saying.
It was a long snake, I saw it.
It bit mademoiselle on the leg.
OK. Everyone out.
Girls, do as Mr Eckland says.
I'll be all right.
- I want to watch.
- Oh, Harri, please.
- Is it painful?
- Your hand is wet.
Yeah. Now this is going
to hurt a little.
- You should enjoy that.
- Quiet.
Go ahead, you can yell
if you feel like it.
I don't feel like it.
OK, it's all done.
- Do you really think it was poisonous?
- Well, no sense taking any chances.
Lie back. This isn't
going to hurt.
Mr Eckland. I want you to know I
really appreciate what you're doing.
Save it.
Come in, Kings Point.
This is Eckland.
Briar Patch, Mother Goose.
Bo Peep here.
Get Houghton, will you.
We got trouble here.
What's wrong, Walter?
What kind of snakes they
got around here, Frank?
Is that a rhetorical
question, I hope?
No. Miss Freneau
went and found one.
- Good grief. Is she?
- She seems all right at the moment.
Find out if they're poisonous and
if so what we can do about it.
Right away. Oh, and Walter...
Until we get a positive ID, don't try and
be a movie hero and suck out the venom.
Walter? Are you there, Walter?
- Yeah, I'm here, Frank. Shoot.
- Plug in the phones, will you?
Yeah!
- Go ahead.
- It's not good.
I've got Dr Bigraves here. He's checked
with Tropical Medicine. I'll put him on.
Mr Eckland, there are three varieties
of serpent indigenous to those islands
and all are extremely poisonous.
Well, I opened the wound, Doctor.
I think I got all the venom out.
Taken orally, it can't hurt you,
Mr Eckland, but if she were bitten
and its entered her bloodstream,
there's nothing we can do.
I'm afraid she's bought it.
- Well, there must be something...
- The venom attacks the nervous system.
The end will come suddenly preceded by a
general numbing sensation and dizziness.
Oh, oh, I see, Doctor.
I suggest you do everything to make
her as comfortable as possible,
including the liberal use of any strong,
analgesic sedative you happen to have.
- I don't have anything like that.
- Nonsense. You've used one for years.
No, I haven't.
Oh yes, I have.
Call me, Walter, when it's over.
Goodbye.
Yeah.
- Bad, isn't it?
- Where's the whiskey?
Oh, I knew it. I'm going to die and you're
afraid I'll take the secret to my grave.
Whiskey is still the best
thing for snake bite.
Where is it, lady?
Stop calling me lady.
It sounds so awful.
It's in the oven.
It can't be in the oven.
I looked there.
I know you did. Gretchen told me.
I put it there after you looked.
Hey, I thought that was for me.
I just want to make sure
it hasn't gone bad.
Come on, drink that. It
won't hurt you. Go on.
Hey, hey. Be careful. You'll
ruin your amateur standing.
I'm French, Mr Eckland. My parents started
me on wine mixed with water when I was six.
But I don't believe in
excessive drinking.
Especially in front of children.
No, the truth is,
when my mother died,
I became the mistress of...
- the consulate.
- Oh, oh.
I presided over all the
diplomatic dinners.
We had martinis before dinner,
white wine with the fish.
Red wine with the main course,
champagne with the dessert.
Cognac with the coffee
and port after dinner.
Sounds great.
Isn't it getting hot in here?
Woo, isn't it getting hot in here?
Isn't it getting hot in here?
You mustn't move around.
Come on. Just...
That's right. Just lie quietly.
I bet you think I'm an iceberg.
- Do you know how old I am?
- No.
The truth is, we've
lived in 11 countries.
I can speak seven languages.
I'm excellent at bridge. I
play the cello very well.
I'm double-jointed, and I
know how to ride a camel.
- I was engaged once.
- Huh?
His name was Cesare and he worked
in the Italian consulate at Fiume.
- Do you know where Fiume is?
- Yugoslavia, isn't it?
No, it's in Yugoslavia.
He called me Carissima and gave me
handkerchiefs with my initials on them.
Every time he wanted to kiss
me, he'd say "Permesso",
and then afterwards,
he'd say "Grazie".
You've had enough.
Oh, Cesare would never have
done to my leg what you did.
Oh, probably couldn't reach it.
I liked what you did to my
leg, the last part, I mean.
- Oh, that.
- Tell me. I'd like to know.
- What did my blood taste like, mm?
- Delicious. Now come on.
No, no, no, no. I'm being serious.
What did it taste like?
How would I know?
I'm not a vampire.
Oh... Was it salty?
- A little salty, yes.
- Too salty?
- No, it was just right.
- Oh no.
You thought it was too salty. I
can tell you didn't like it.
- No, no. I liked it.
- Oh, really?
- I liked it.
- You're not just saying that.
Great blood.
Please, now, buzz off, will you?
Miss Freneau isn't feeling very well.
Now come on.
I'm gonna kill
that rotten snake.
Anne!
Your opinion of me is
correct, you know.
I'm a... a picture straightener.
You're a what?
- A picture straightener.
- Oh.
When I see a picture on a wall
that doesn't hang straightly,
I straighten it.
Oh, you do that.
And I brush my teeth every
morning and every night.
And if I don't have
a toothbrush...
- I use my finger.
- Mmm...
Oh.
- I feel so numb.
- Numb? Where?
Everywhere. What does it mean?
Oh. You'd better lie down.
And I'm so cold. Oh,
why am I so cold?
- Oh, I'm dizzy. I'm very dizzy.
- You lie down. Just rest.
- Oh...
- That's right.
Come closer so I can
tell you something.
My coconut is empty.
Oh.
- Have a belt yourself.
- Oh... No, thanks.
There'll be plenty of time later.
I mean, you go ahead.
- What was she like?
- She? Who?
The lady who drove you to this.
Drove me to what?
Drink.
- Oh, there was no lady.
- That was your wife.
No. There was no wife.
Then from what are you
running away from?
- Mmm?
- Oh, I'm not running away.
- Oh, there must have been some...
- Well, there was.
- A necktie.
- A what?
A necktie.
I was late for class
one morning.
I forgot my tie and they
wouldn't let me in.
How long ago was that?
- About eight years ago.
- Weren't you old to be going to school?
Oh, I wasn't going. Well...
I was teaching.
- Oh!
- I was a professor of history.
And what about the necktie?
- This is no time to talk about me now.
- Why not?
Why not?
Well, ah...
See, I thought they'd be
more interested in
what was inside a man's
head, not around his neck.
Uh, huh.
Then I noticed they
all wore ties.
They all looked alike,
they all behaved alike,
and they all talked alike.
But they were all going
the same way,
no matter which way they
said they were going.
So, what was the use of teaching
them history, or anything?
They weren't learning by it.
Still creating the
same old problems.
So I packed, got on a boat,
and got away from them.
Now look what they've
got me doing.
Ah-ha... What's so funny?
You're the school teacher.
Oh dear.
- What's that?
- The snake.
- But that's not a snake.
- It looks like a snake.
You ninny.
- You'd better tell Mr Eckland.
- I wanna go home.
- He'll be furious.
- Why?
Because Miss Freneau's not dead.
O'la!
This is Eckland.
Is Houghton there?
I'm here, Walter.
Frank... It's all over, Frank.
She's...
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
What do I do about the kids, Frank?
They don't know yet.
They'll have to be told, Walter.
Yeah. Stick around, will you?
I may need you later.
Sure, sure. I'll stand by.
- Mr Eckland?
- Oh, oh... Just a minute. I...
Er... Will you all come
over here, please?
- Mr Eckland?
- Please.
- There's something I want to tell you.
- There's something we want to tell you.
Just a minute, now. This
isn't going to be easy.
Now, er...
Those of you who are old enough to
understand what I'm going to say
will be able to help the ones who...
Well...
- Mr Eckland?
- Please, there's a good girl.
Now, Miss Freneau, who I guess we all
gave a very difficult time to when she...
Well...
Miss Freneau has...
has gone away.
No, she hasn't. You
tell him, Anne.
- Why me?
- Because it was all your fault.
Er... Just a minute.
Tell me what?
It wasn't a snake. It was this.
- But that's not a snake.
- It looks like a snake.
That's not a snake.
Here. Watch out for the thorns.
Uh! Thank you.
- Not a snake.
- It looks like a snake.
No, that doesn't.
This looks like a snake.
Is it morning already?
Walter? Are you there, Walter?
I have the chaplain. I thought it might
be a comfort if he said a few words.
Never mind the chaplain, Frank.
She's alive.
The snake's dead.
Walter, explain yourself.
Walter?
Walter?
WALTER!
Were you really a
schoolteacher?
All of you, raise
your right hands.
Come on, raise your right hands!
All right. Now none of you heard
anything I said in there, you got that?
OK. Now spit.
Go ahead, spit.
The first one who breaks
the pledge will get warts.
Qu'est que c'est, warts?
Er... Mr Eckland?
- May I speak with you, please?
- No.
You don't have to shout.
I don't even have to talk.
Um...
Mr Eckland, do I...
owe you an apology or a...
an explanation or
anything like that?
Probably. Some other time.
I seem to remember someone
saying that a drop or two helps.
- Not today!
- Ooh!
I went through enough nonsense
with you just to get this much.
Mr Eckland. What exactly
did I do yesterday?
Nothing.
You just put a flower
between your teeth
danced around
the room naked.
But I couldn't have!
I did?
You mean you don't remember?
- No.
- Oh.
You don't remember
anything I said, do you?
- Why? What did you say?
- Nothing.
Well, there doesn't seem to be much
to remember then, does there?
No, no, no, no.
Unless you mean
what you said about
running away from civilisation
because of a necktie.
I thought you said you
didn't remember anything!
- Oh, nothing after that.
- There wasn't anything after that.
Then when did I
dance around naked with a
flower between my teeth?
I only told you those things about
me in strictest confidence.
Why, I haven't told anyone!
You just told me, didn't you?
You are the one who told me.
Well, I don't care. I only told you
because I thought you were dying.
Sorry I disappointed you.
I don't mind that you
were a schoolteacher.
There you go again! Now
it's none of your business.
I thought you were running away from
something much worse than that.
I wasn't running away,
I was escaping...
from hypocrites like you, who have
to get drunk before they can let go.
There.
Why then, you're a happy man.
That's right.
And that's why you drink so
much, because you're so happy.
Yes.
- Is this boat tilted?
- No!
Now you listen to me.
Before you mess
around with other
people's lives, you better
take a look at your own.
And what's wrong with it?
Well, maybe if you stopped straightening
pictures and let men wear their pants,
maybe they'd be able to touch
you without asking permesso.
- Dear Lord.
- It's Dominique's turn to say grace.
[ Speaks French ]
[ Speaks French ]
Amen.
Oh. Mr Eckland.
Oh, um... I thought if you
had enough food, I...
- Well, certainly.
- Look, he's combed his hair.
And he's actually wearing socks.
Well, you see, my
feet were chilly.
Oh... um... we're
delighted you could come.
Um, Anne, move over next to Elizabeth
so Mr Eckland can sit down.
- I don't want to sit there.
- She never wants to do anything.
- That's not true. I wanna go home.
- All right. Change places with Harriet.
- The name's Harri.
- Oh, sorry. Harri.
On the other side of Mr Eckland.
Thank you, Harri. We fellows
should stick together.
Pass to Monsieur Eckland.
That's my dinner.
Well, then, take it.
- I'm sick and tired of tinned beef.
- Then give it back.
I wanna go home. Why can't we
have fish once in a while?
Professor Eckland was giving me lessons,
but he never finishes what he starts.
Raise your arms.
Lower your head.
Drink something. Give him
something to drink. Quick.
- Drink.
- Hold it.
Jenny!
- Well, how strange!
- Why?
- That you bring me this.
- I've done it before.
- No, you haven't. Yes, I have.
- Shut up.
- Well, since it's here, I'll, er...
- There's already a beverage on the table.
- Yes? What?
- Coconut milk.
You're kidding.
Well, it happens to be very
tasty and quite healthful.
Oh, I'm sure it is.
Ah-ah-ah. Mr Eckland?
Delicious. Coconut milk.
Young coconuts must love it.
Get back! Get back!
Come on. Let's get
back in the shack.
I... I... I hurt my ankle when you...
when I fell.
Get up. Let's see.
Put your weight on it.
That's not too bad.
All right.
That's fine.
This is Eckland. Get Houghton.
Stand by, Mother Goose.
- Yes, Walter. What is it?
- A plane, Frank. He dove at us.
- Go on.
- Go on where? He spotted us.
And now you'd like me to
take you off the island.
- Naturally.
- Really. You never give up, do you?
All right, tell
me what happened.
I've already told you, a
Japanese plane flew over.
- What kind?
- I don't know what kind.
Well, that's what you're
there for, isn't it?
Really, Walter, planes are
supposed to fly over.
We wouldn't need you where planes
didn't fly over, would we?
Now, just because one
gets a little close.
A little close? Now you listen to me,
Frank, you get us out of here by tonight.
I really don't think it'll
be tonight, Walter.
Thanks a lot. I won't need you
when I get the launch ready.
Walter, I'd forget about
the launch if I were you.
You're completely ringed in there which
means you can only travel by night
in a boat which you
can't be too sure of.
Even if you could break
through, which I doubt,
Port Moresby's the only place open
and that's over 200 miles away.
Then do something.
Walter...
I have 32 men in precisely
the same position you're in.
How is it that I spend most
of my time listening to you?
Now be a good chap and relax.
Signing off.
The fathead.
I'll be down at the launch.
Mr Eckland?
Oh, I thought your ankle
was bothering you.
Oh! Well, it's feeling much
better now, thank you.
Fine.
I wanted to thank you.
For saving my life, I mean.
I behaved quite stupidly.
- Can you forgive me?
- Sure.
I wouldn't want you to think badly of me.
Do you think badly of me?
- No.
- I don't think badly of you either.
- Good for you.
- Mr Eckland?
You can kiss me if you want.
I may?
Oh, my darling. I have thought of
nothing else since that moment we met.
This first burning kiss
is but the beginning.
Tonight you will leave those children
and come live with me on my boat.
What are you doing?
Of course, how thoughtless of me.
We must be careful.
What time can I
expect you tonight?
But mademoiselle doesn't
let us out at night.
Oh well.
Mr Eckland, have you
been listening to me?
How can I help it with
you screaming in my ear?
Because you've been talking
total nonsense as usual.
It's quite clear you know nothing
whatsoever about children.
- You're an expert, of course.
- Well, I know one thing.
- Elizabeth is at that...
- Wait a minute. Hand me those pliers.
- Which ones?
- The small ones.
Thank you. Now what
were you saying?
Elizabeth is at that difficult
age and you frightened her.
Yeah, well, I'm at a difficult age myself.
She nearly scared me to death.
How about teaching them the facts of
life, or aren't you up on the subject?
I wouldn't exactly call them backward, not
the way they were watching during lunch.
Watching what?
It works.
Course it works. Now what were
they watching during lunch?
They were watching us.
- Watching us what?
- Watching us watch each other.
- So we watched each other. So what?
- Well, they're not blind, you know.
What do they think watching
is, a proposal of marriage?
Whoever said anything about...
Just because a man puts on
socks and comes to lunch?
If you think I'd
want to get involved
with an undisciplined, self-
indulgent escapist like you.
Well, that's better
than being a frustrated
spinster who can't
find a husband.
It's Matalava, sir.
Mother Goose is
requesting a chaplain.
A chaplin? Good heavens,
he's killed her.
No, sir. They want
to get married.
Married?
Goody Two Shoes and
the Filthy Beast?
What's taking him so long?
He's had enough time to get
the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Oh, Mr Eckland, really.
Oh, stop calling me Mr Eckland,
it sounds ridiculous.
Walter? Are you ready, Walter?
Just a minute, Frank.
Here. Use my tie.
Oh, thank you, Harri, but
ties don't suit Mr Eckland.
Well, have you got
the chaplain, Frank?
Yes, he's here. There's a
little paperwork, Walter.
Bride's full name.
Catherine... Louise... Marie...
Ernestine Freneau.
Groom's full name.
Walter Christopher Eckland.
Witnesses. Who's the
maid of honour?
Erm... Elizabeth Anderson.
And the best man?
- Harri MacGregor.
- Harri?
Just believe me.
Proceed, padre.
Thank you.
Now. Is everyone ready?
Yes, padre.
Dearly beloved. We
are gathered here,
and... there, in the
presence of these witnesses
to join together this
man and this woman
in the bonds of holy matrimony
which is an honourable
estate, instituted of God.
Into this holy estate, these two
persons come now to be joined...
Duck! Down! Quickly!
If there be any present...
who know any just cause
why they may not
lawfully be joined
in marriage, I require him now
...to make it known or ever
after to hold his peace.
Anything there?
Good. Now, then.
Do you, Walter
Christopher Eckland,
take this woman to be
your lawful wedded wife?
To love and to cherish...
...to have and to hold,
so long as you both shall live?
Mr Eckland?
Do you, Walter
Christopher Eckland...
- Walter!
- Stay there!
...to be your
lawful wedded wife?
- Hold it, padre. Hold it.
- Mr Eckland, do you...
I do, I do!
Get Houghton, quick.
What is it, Walter?
They came back, Frank.
I told you they would.
Who came back?
You know who.
Now listen.
Did you hear that?
Yes, I'll get onto it right away.
Stand by.
I want the name and exact position
of every Allied submarine
within 12 hours running distance
between here and Matalava.
- Now get onto it right away.
- Aye-aye, sir.
Walter?
- I told you to stay where you were.
- The plane's gone.
I was afraid I was a widow
before we were even married.
Er... Mr Eckland?
What should we do now?
Well, all right, we'll take another
whack at it if you will, padre.
- So take your time, but hurry it up.
- Yes, yes, of course. I understand.
Let me see now.
Do you, Walter Christopher
Eckland, take this woman...
- We did that part, padre.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm a little rattled.
Let me see here.
All right, then. Do you, Catherine
Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau,
take this man to be your
lawful wedded husband,
to love and to cherish, to have and to
hold, for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
For as much as you have consented
together in holy wedlock,
and have given and received a
ring in token of your troth...
- Wait a minute, what ring?
- Didn't we do the ring?
- No, we didn't do the ring.
- We'll have to do the ring.
Hold it, padre.
- All right, padre. We did the ring.
- Oh good.
For as much as you have
consented in holy wedlock,
and have given and received a
ring in token of your troth,
I now declare you
husband and wife.
You may kiss the
bride, Mr Eckland.
Mr and Mrs Eckland,
if you're finished now, I suggest
you get the hell out of there.
Yeah, that's a good suggestion,
padre. Thank you.
- Hold on, Walter, hold on.
- What, Frank?
One of your American submarines,
the Sail Fin, is in your area.
She's running submerged, so we
will not be able to make radio
contact with her until
she surfaces tonight.
But she ought to be able to get
through to you by dawn tomorrow.
She'll have to lie off the reef
and await your signal, so I
suggest you stay on the beach.
- Have you got that?
- I've got it.
Incidentally, Walter, congratulations
to you and Mrs Eckland.
And the best of
luck to all of you.
Mmm... And they're
going to need it.
- Walter, are you awake?
- Uh?
I was thinking about yesterday.
Somehow the word "wedding" has always
called to mind a different picture.
Somehow, the words
"wedding night"
have always called to mind
a different picture too.
Well, we couldn't very well have
left the girls by themselves.
They're our responsibility.
They're not our children.
If they were our children, they'd have
never gotten to be our children,
would they?
You won't be come
with us, will you?
How did you know?
Oh, when a woman has been
married as long as I have,
she knows what her
husband's thinking.
Oh well...
I'll shove off right after the rest of
you and get to Port Moresby in no time.
You know what Commander
Houghton said.
I can't leave my boat.
Must be a good one.
Good and bad is all the
dowry you're going to get.
I'm thinking of starting a charter
service, right after the war.
Somewhere around the
Solomons and New Hebrides.
Good money there for anyone
who knows the islands.
All right.
I'm not leaving without you.
Oh yes you are.
Someone's got to get those
children back to their parents.
Lord, you're stubborn.
That's right. Come on.
There. Come on.
That's it. Go to sleep.
- They're here.
- Hold it.
- Girls?
- Hold it.
- That's a Japanese patrol boat.
- Oh my God...
They picked a fine
time to check us out.
What about the submarine?
She won't surface while
that thing's there.
Get off the beach,
- Come on.
- Come on, girls, wake up.
Quickly as you can.
Wake up. Come on!
Take your gear!
Now this.
They're sending
two boats ashore.
Now these fellas aren't looking for
turtles, they're looking for us.
Oh, what if the submarine leaves
without us, can't you radio them?
No, I can't make contact
while they're submerged.
Now, take the kids to the launch and
for God's sake keep them quiet.
Here.
Walter?
Huh?
I look awful in black.
Oh...
Over here.
- The house is on fire.
- I know. I started it.
When did you do that?
Last night when you were asleep.
What else was there to do?
Hey, hide all that stuff. We're
getting off this island.
- Is the submarine there?
- It had better be.
- Are we going home?
- That's right.
I don't wanna go home.
Oh come on. Get in the
dinghy and hurry it up.
When Commander Houghton said there'd
be a signal. He wasn't joking.
They're coming out to
meet us on a launch.
- Dead slow.
- Dead slow, sir.
Answer's dead slow.
Holy cow!
An enemy patrol
boat giving chase.
- Ready the bow torpedo tubes.
- Tubes forward. Make ready forward tubes.
Submerged reef 300 yards from shore.
No torpedo clearance.
The launch is heading
out beyond the reef.
They're following.
That's what he's up to. He's
bringing them out to us.
They're plastering him.
- He cleared the reef.
- They're right behind him.
Bearing?
Mark.
- 025.
- Range?
Mark.
- 650.
- Tubes 1 and 2 open outer doors.
Tubes 1 and 2 open outer doors.
Check fire. Check fire. The launch
is veering into target path.
Get going. Get going.
Final bearing.
- Mark.
- Fire 1.
Fire 2.
On the nose!
Not that it'll do those
poor devils any good.
Let's take her up and
look for survivors.
Walter?
Mr Eckland?
Walter?
Oh, zit! What's the
matter with this thing?
Mr Eckland?
- There's his hat.
- Jenny, move over. I want to catch it.
- Mrs Eckland, I presume?
- Mr Eckland!
Took me forever to tie the wheel off.
I thought I'd have to stay with her.
Our boat, The
Catherine, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, in a war,
everybody loses something.
I'm just glad it was
that Catherine.
Hey, wait a minute. Wanna
invite me in first?
Oh. Walter... Er... No.
Walter, you'll tip us in.
Not if you do it right. Just shift
your weight. Get over there.
Walter, I really don't think
it's such a good idea.
Please, please, just this
once, will you do it my way?
All right.
- Shut up.
- I didn't say anything.
Looks like we'll be taking on
passengers after all, Mr Cartwright.
- Break out a raft.
- Aye-aye, sir.
Ah... I wonder if they serve
coconut milk on submarines.