Fighting with My Family (2019) Movie Script
1
If you smell...
What The Rock is cooking!
Oh, my God!
Title's on the line here.
He's going to the top!
He wants to finish
The Rock off!
Oh, no!
- Wait a minute!
- The Rock has done it!
The Rock has done it!
The Rock is back
and on top of the mountain!
- Yes! Yes!
- Rocky!
Rocky!
Rocky! Rocky!
Paige!
I'm watching that!
I wanna watch Charmed.
- No! Give me the remote!
- No!
Give it to me!
- Get off, Zak! Get off!
- Come on! Give it here!
Zak! What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?
If you really wanna
choke her out,
interlock the fingers.
- Yeah.
- Now pull it tight.
Oh, yeah!
Now she's in trouble.
You feel it?
- You feel it cut...
- What is going on?
He's choking me!
What're you gonna do about it?
Well, hello. Whoa!
- Yeah, yeah, nice.
- That's my girl.
Hey, Saraya.
You don't have to look
pretty today, princess.
Yeah, but she's not just
pretty on the outside, is she?
In there is a heart of gold.
Do anything for anyone.
What are you two
dickheads after?
Babe, I am a girl down
- for the under-18s match.
- No.
I don't wanna be a wrestler.
You would love
the buzz, darling.
It's like coke, crack,
heroin combined.
Have you done coke,
crack, and heroin?
Not combined.
Darling, if I have
to give refunds,
I am buggered
six ways to Sunday.
I need you to do this
for your family.
Do you understand that?
No, Dad, I can't wrestle
some random girl.
- I'll screw it up.
- What if you're wrestling me?
Let's go!
I can't do this, Zak.
It's like a dance,
just follow me.
Okay.
Come on!
Yeah!
Come on, princess!
Come on, darling.
Come on, girl!
You can do it!
- Come on!
- Come on!
Come on, you muppets!
Shut up! Sit down!
Hey.
Quick, her hair!
Shut up!
Hey, don't you come in!
Don't you come in!
- I'm coming in!
- I'll disqualify you!
Get off her throat!
Get off her throat now!
Come on!
All right, I'm gettin' in!
I'm gettin' in!
- Britani! Britani!
- Come on!
Britani! Britani!
Britani! Britani!
- Don't you dare!
- Oh, I will!
Zak attack! Zak attack!
Zak attack! Zak attack!
Zak attack!
No! No!
Anything but this!
One!
Two!
Three! That's it!
Come on!
The winners,
Zak Zodiac and Britani!
That's disgusting, Zak!
- It's Dad's, it's not mine!
- Oh, for God's sake!
I'm gonna pound on you,
I swear to God!
Two...
World Wrestling Entertainment,
Hutch Morgan's office.
Hello, my darling. It's
Ricky Knight calling again.
- Ricky...
- Ricky Knight.
I'm calling from the World
Association of Wrestling
out of Norwich.
Where?
Norwich.
It's the mustard capital
of England.
You've heard of England,
innit ya?
You hit Greenland
and take a right.
What's this regarding, sir?
I sent Mr. Morgan
a tape of my kids...
- Zak Zodiac and Britani.
- Hello!
Yeah, well, in the ring,
I'm Britani...
and out of the ring,
I'm Saraya.
That's 'cause in the ring,
I'm Saraya.
You might've heard of me,
Sweet Saraya Knight?
You still there, love?
I am. Mr. Morgan
will contact you if necessary.
Thanks for calling WWE.
Do you know
if he watched the tape?
- She hung up!
- I don't know.
What a dick!
- Wrestling!
- Wrestling?
You wanna come to wrestling?
Wrestling tonight!
Hey! I'm wrestling tonight.
Do you wanna come
to wrestling tonight?
No.
Wrestling? No? Okay.
Excuse me. Do you wanna see
the wrestling? Live wrestling?
I'm fighting tonight.
Do you wanna come watch?
Live wrestling?
Excuse me!
Live wrestling?
Come on!
Shit!
I ain't got nothing!
Why'd you run, then?
You said I needed
to do more cardio.
That's not mine.
What's the plan, Ez, huh?
You wanna deal?
Or do you wanna wrestle?
I wanna wrestle.
Then cut this
crap out, mate,
or I'm done with you.
Okay?
Oh, don't throw that!
That's the same shit
Rihanna smokes.
Wrestling? Live wrestling?
Live wrestling!
Excuse me.
Have you ever been
to see live wrestling?
No.
Well, can I ask why not?
Because I'm not a child.
Or a moron.
You should come.
Yeah, you should see her.
She's really good.
But she's a girl.
Oh, God, is she not?
No, I am.
Is this, like, your costume?
No, this is me.
Wow.
Oh, wait, I know you.
You're from that weird family,
aren't you?
We're not weird.
Yeah, her brother
was on the news.
Didn't he do something mental?
Isn't he in jail?
You should come tonight.
It'll be really fun.
We don't like wrestling.
How do you know
if you've never been?
I've never had
rectal bleeding before,
but I'm pretty sure
I'm not a fan of that.
How about I shove her head
up your arse, and then
we can find out?
Freak!
Doors open at 7:00!
Hey, Zak.
Bring your
daughter to the slaughter
Let her go
Let her go
Let her go
Let's go, Cal! Come on!
All right, just
follow the music.
Here, come here.
Thing of beauty.
Right, Sunny, let's go.
Lock up.
Full nelson. Break.
Snapmare. Lovely stuff.
Okay. Mitchie.
Lock up. Full nelson.
Break. Snapmare.
Nice, mate, nice!
Right, Ez, come on,
let's do this.
Lock up.
Full Nelson.
Break.
Ez, have you got a stiffy?
It's not my fault!
It does what it wants!
Yeah, well, tell it not to.
- Just pretend it's not there.
- No!
All right, Ez,
50 press-ups now, mate.
What, for having a stiffy?
No, for getting turned on
by my sister.
- How desperate are you, mate?
- Oh, shut up!
Come on, let's go, let's go!
One, two...
- Till it's gone!
- Three, four, five, six...
- Another stiffy?
- Yeah!
Seven, eight, nine, ten!
Hello, love.
All right.
All right, J.
Understood.
Let me ask him, mate. Hang on.
Listen, Glen wants to know
if you'll take one of these...
in the face.
I don't know. What's it like?
Fine.
Yeah? Stings, innit?
All right.
Glen? Hello, mate.
Yeah, he'll do it.
What?
Seriously?
Hang on, Glen.
Glen wants to know if, uh...
If you'll do one of these...
In the willy.
Ricky, you kidding me, mate?
- Breathe in.
- All right.
When you release it,
- I'll pop it in.
- All right.
- Ready?
- All right.
On three.
One.
It's a unique sensation.
You all right?
- Don't touch me.
- All right.
Hang on, Glen.
- Go on. Yeah.
- Yeah?
Glen? Yeah,
he'll take a bowling ball
in the bollocks.
Ah! Sixty quid?
Glen, mate, you're killing me.
It's not gonna be worth him
making the trip for that.
I don't wanna see that, right?
I don't wanna see that.
Just a nice clean headlock,
straight into position.
Understood?
- Yes, Coach!
- Great, okay!
All right, Cal.
You getting in then, mate?
Oh, no, thanks! I just
come here for the smells.
You're a teenager
and you're blind.
What else are you gonna
do today? Listen to porn?
Calum!
Calum! Calum! Calum!
- There we go!
- Yes, Calum!
All right, seriously,
how's he gonna wrestle?
No idea.
What did we do
last night, babe?
Four hundred.
Bloody hell.
If things don't pick up soon,
I'm gonna have to go
back to thieving.
I don't care how
desperate things get,
you're not going
back to thieving.
You're not.
Zak can do it.
Raya can go on the game.
We're gonna be all right.
- One, two...
- Yeah.
...three and turn.
One, two, three and turn.
Oh, can me and Courtney
have a word?
- Yeah. Sure.
- Great.
I'm not asking us to bow
and scrape or nothing.
I'm just saying...
Courtney's parents
are a bit...
- You know, what's the word?
- Posh?
Classy!
Her dad's teetotal.
So am I.
Yeah, but he's teetotal
out of choice, Dad.
Not 'cause he's an alcoholic.
La-di-da.
You want us to make
a good impression.
- Yes.
- Yeah?
- A good impression how?
- Well, can he put a shirt on?
A shirt on?
How bloody posh are they?
That's another thing.
Courtney's dad,
he don't swear apparently.
So, let's just keep
the effing and jeffing
down to a minimum, please.
Oh, unbelievable!
Who is her dad?
The Archbishop of shitting...
Kent?
What did I just say?
Raya, help me out.
Look, he wants to make
a good impression...
because Courtney's great,
and he loves her...
and he respects her...
And he got her up the duff.
I didn't get her up the duff.
It's known as
an unplanned pregnancy.
All pregnancies
are unplanned, son.
Whatever happens tonight...
it will never be as bad
as when you went on in
King's Lynn
wearing his shorts.
Oh, yeah, your little
willy fell out.
Little?
Why would you say little?
Big enough to get
Courtney up the duff.
Ugh. That is gross.
Look, for Courtney's sake...
let's all just try
and act a little bit normal.
- All right.
- Okay.
Dad?
Yes, I will behave.
Thank you.
May I just say my husband
and I are delighted
to finally make
your acquaintance.
Absolutely, and likewise.
Courtney tells us that
you're all, uh, wrestlers.
- Yeah, whole family.
- Yup. Yes, we are.
Whole family of wrestlers.
And our half-brother, Roy.
So, what sort of people
enjoy wrestling?
That's a good question.
I mean, it's all fake
anyway, isn't it?
Come again?
It's not fake, it's fixed.
Yeah, if it was fake,
would I have broken
half the parts
of my body deaf?
His left leg bends both ways.
Well, that's nothing.
You should see his cock.
Mum.
Sorry.
Penis, you should
see his penis.
Have you got
another question or...
I can, yes.
How did you
get into wrestling?
It's quite a romantic story.
We like
romantic stories, so...
Oh, right, well,
you'll like this one.
Well, when I met Rick, I was
thinking of killing meself.
Pills.
I was homeless, abused, living
on the street, you know.
Yep.
I myself had done
eight years in prison.
Prison?
What was that for?
- Mainly violence.
- Mainly violence, yeah.
Bit of armed robbery.
You know?
Anyway, I came back
to the flat one night,
and there was, uh, guns...
money on the table,
everything.
- Sorry, there was guns and...
- Money.
- Guns and money, right.
- Yeah.
Done a job, hadn't you?
And I looked at him...
The look said, essentially...
"Ricky, turn your back
on crime.
Otherwise, I'm gonna
turn my back on you."
- And he did.
- That's what I did.
Never looked back.
Some people find
religion, but wrestling...
We found wrestling, didn't we?
It was our salvation.
We found each other and all.
Yeah.
It's a tale as old
as time itself, babe.
Hmm.
Oh.
Mum.
Not this now, please.
I'll get it.
Hello?
Can I put you
on speaker for a second?
Yeah, hang on.
- Who is it?
- I don't know.
- Go ahead.
- Am I speaking to Zak
- and Britani?
- Yeah.
My name is Hutch Morgan.
I'm calling from WWE.
We were very impressed
by your tape.
In April, we're bringing
SmackDown to the O2 in London.
And we'd like both of you to
come down and try out for us.
Hello?
They'd be
very happy to accept.
Good. And we
already have a Britani,
so just think
of an alternative name.
Yeah, sure, okay.
Thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Thank you very much, sir.
Oh, my God!
WWE!
Oh, my God!
Zak, they want us!
I told you, I told you!
It was a given.
Sorry, what is the WWE?
Say what?
He is
the greatest professional
athlete in the world today!
Austin 3:16 says
I just whipped your ass!
Turn it sideways
and stick it straight up
your candy ass!
That is extraordinary
flexibility
from that young lady.
Austin, face first...
Never seen a reaction
to anybody
like this since the Beatles!
Because
the champ is here!
For a wrestler,
it don't get bigger
than the WWE.
And to be WWE champion...
- Oh...
- It's the pinnacle. Okay?
It's something that
we have wished for
since we first
stepped in the ring.
And Zak's got it
all worked out.
We'd get a big villa
in Florida.
With a nursery,
of course.
Nice big playroom,
swimming pool.
I'll live next door,
so I can babysit whenever.
And when they come back
as Superstars,
we'll have full houses
every night.
We'll be shifting
a ton of merchandise.
You should buy shares in this.
No, seriously.
I've got the paperwork here,
if you wanna have a gander.
Dad, not now.
All right.
Do you think
you're likely to get in?
Will he get in?
I've been training this one
since before he had fur
on his bollocks.
Sorry, love, ball bag.
You should see
Raya in the ring.
She's like a beautiful
ballet dancer.
The biggest thrill I get
is when people say,
"She reminds me of you."
These tryouts,
are they very taxing?
Oh, yeah.
It's like The Hunger Games,
you know.
My other boy, Roy...
he did it a few years ago,
actually.
So he's in America now?
No, no. He's, um...
He's in prison.
When Roy didn't get signed,
he didn't take it too well.
He started drinking,
picking fights.
He threw a chunk of tarmac
at a bloke's head
and put him in a coma.
Look. Zak's not Roy.
And he's gonna make
you and Courtney
the most proud people
in the world.
I know this
'cause he's my brother.
You can trust me.
My name's Zak Zodiac.
When I was three years old...
I could name
every WWE wrestler
just by looking at his boots.
Zak Zodiac.
Every wrestler
just by looking at his boots.
When I was three years old,
I could name...
You all right?
All right. What's wrong?
I know when you're lying.
This is our shot, Zak.
I know.
But what if I screw up?
You won't.
Come on. You're gonna
smash it tomorrow.
How do you know?
Because you're a Knight.
Wrestling's in your blood.
That's not good. That makes
it sound like hepatitis.
Yeah, it is.
We're riddled with wrestling.
And there's no cure.
Okay?
Okay.
Tryouts that way?
We're here for the tryout.
- We're here for the tryouts.
- Yeah. Yeah, that way.
Great.
Sorry. We're here for
the tryouts. Tryouts that way?
- They're downstairs.
- Great. Thank you.
Whoa!
So cool.
Can you imagine it?
20,000 people
just shouting your name.
Zodiac! Zodiac! Zodiac!
Just insane.
Whoa!
- Sorry about that.
- Sorry, mate.
Dick me dead,
bury me pregnant.
That's
a good pick-up line.
- Zak Zodiac, mate.
- What's up, Zak?
What an honor
to meet you, mate.
- Oh, thanks, Zak.
- Yeah,
- yeah, Zak, Zak. Yeah.
- Cool.
- This is my sister, Saraya.
- We're huge fans.
- Thank you so much.
- Since we were kids.
Yeah, we've been fans
since you had hair.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, it's a choice.
A damn good one, too.
- Yeah, no, it looks good.
- It looks great, fantastic.
See you guys.
Rock, Rock, Rock!
Yo.
What's happening? Are you
getting back in the ring?
- You wrestling again?
- Uh, no. No, no, no.
I'm just shooting a movie
here in London...
and I'm gonna
surprise the crowd tonight.
Gonna electrify.
Don't tell anybody.
- No, no.
- No.
All right, see you guys.
- Rock, Rock, Rock!
- Hey.
We're wrestlers
as well, actually.
We're actually doing
the tryouts today.
Oh, cool.
Our whole family wrestle.
WAW, up in Norwich.
You've probably heard of it.
Uh, no.
No?
Actually,
whilst you're here...
He should come
to one of our shows!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
We could
get you tickets...
Half-price, probably.
Half-price?
I'll text Mango Pete,
get him on the list.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you need a plus-one?
Uh, that's awesome.
Thank you for the invite.
I don't think I'll be
able to make it, though.
Good luck
with your tryout. Okay.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, mate.
Rock, Rock, Rock!
Yes, Zak.
What advice would you give us?
If we wanna...
Win over the crowd.
Win over the crowd.
If we wanna...
If we wanna be the next you.
- What are your names again?
- My name is...
It doesn't matter
what your names are!
You walk around here
interrupting The Rock.
You, like you haven't seen
the sun in 20 years!
You, like you just
stepped out of Oliver Twist!
Please, sir, may I have
some more advice, sir?
You want some advice?
Here's The Rock's advice!
Shut your mouth!
What you want! What you want!
How about what The Rock wants?
The Rock wants you to go
out there, take no prisoners,
have no regrets, have no fear!
Lay it all out on the line!
Because if you
don't do that...
The Rock is gonna find
your friend Mary Poppins.
He's gonna take her umbrella.
Yeah, he's gonna
shine it up real nice.
He's gonna turn
that sumbitch sideways
and stick it straight up
your candy asses!
There's your advice!
Straight out
of the Jabroni-beating,
pie-eating, trailblazing,
eyebrow-raising...
entertaining the globe,
never hotter...
talking to two rejects
from Harry Potter!
So that's how you
win over the crowd.
Yeah.
Even though this
crazy wrestling world
is a fictionalized world...
The fans know 1,000%
if you're not being real.
All right? That guy just now,
that was The Rock.
The Rock is me.
Dwayne Johnson...
Just with the volume
turned way up,
the treble adjusted, the bass.
Same guy.
So don't worry about
being the next me.
Be the first you.
Hey! Are you two here
for the tryouts?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You can't just hang out
with The Rock.
What are you,
Make-A-Wish kids?
Let's go!
Better go.
- Thanks, mate!
- Yeah!
- Thanks, Dwayne!
- You got it!
That was The Rock!
Insane, insane.
Come on, let's go.
To be a WWE Superstar,
you have to have two things.
Number one,
you gotta have the skills
and number two,
you have to have the spark.
Now, skills,
that's obvious, right?
You gotta be able to wrestle.
The spark, well...
That's the magic dust.
It's what the audience
falls in love with.
It's why they buy your poster.
It's why they
come back every week.
It's why they chant your name.
It's why they buy
a six-inch
action figure of you.
Do you see yourself
as a six-inch action figure?
Yeah. Yes, I do.
I see myself as WWE Champion.
Ding, ding, ding!
Bingo, guys!
That's exactly right. That's
called a great attitude.
And that's a big plate of yes.
That is one of the biggest
requirements
that you have to have
to be a WWE Superstar.
And you don't have
any of the other things.
But the attitude's the one
thing you're in control over
and the attitude's the one
thing that you have.
Name.
Zak Zodiac.
Sounds a little bit like
a dancer at a male strip club.
Why do you wanna wrestle?
I wanna be a wrestler because
since I was three years old...
I could name
every single WWE wrestler
just by looking
at their boots.
And I've wanted to be
one ever since.
I'm passionate,
I'm determined...
And I'm the toughest
bastard in any room...
Including this one.
Oh, probably shouldn't swear,
not when there's
ladies present.
Sorry, miss. Sorry about that.
Miss, what's your name?
Saraya.
No, sorry, Britani.
Do you not remember your name?
No, I do. It's just
they asked me to change it.
Do you remember
what you changed it to?
- Yeah.
- Okay, that's good.
What is it?
Uh, Paige.
As a wrestling name, Paige?
Yeah.
Paige feels a little more
like she might work
at the perfume counter
at the mall...
Like, "Do you want
a free sample?"
No, Paige is the name
of a witch
from a TV show that I like.
So you liked the name off
the show and then you took it?
Yeah.
Nobody's gonna pay to watch
a timid little
British girl wrestle.
Yeah, well, not all
British girls are timid.
Just like not all Americans
are arrogant wankers.
Just saying.
Why do you wanna
wrestle, Paige?
Been wrestling since I was 13.
My whole family wrestles.
But why do you wanna wrestle?
Been wrestling since I was 13.
My whole family wrestles.
But why do you wanna wrestle?
Um...
It's an escape, isn't it?
From the real world.
And when I'm in that ring
with my family,
working together,
flowing together...
It feels like the world
just disappears.
And I sort of feel like
I belong somewhere.
She showed us her heart.
And I wanna vomit.
You, who got you dressed?
The whole thing
was your thing?
- That's your salad?
- Yeah. Yeah.
That's what you mixed up
in a bowl?
- Yeah, I like it.
- Okay.
Do you know what a push-up is?
Come on, guys.
Pace, pace, pace!
Who knew? A leopard
in sheikh's clothing.
Cupid's Arrow!
You need to play everything
out more, all right?
Sell your snaps harder, okay?
Shot, kick, bulldog.
- Ready?
- Yeah, good one.
Nice finisher.
Is that your move?
Yeah, Zak Attack.
You dick.
Give yourselves
a big hand, everybody.
That was a tremendous amount
of energy and effort...
and I want to thank
all of you for that.
It takes a lot of courage
to put yourself out there
and I respect that.
If I call your name,
please step forward.
That means you will be coming
with me to Florida,
where you will join
NXT Developmental.
At which point, we will assess
whether or not
you get to go on to the WWE.
If I do not call your name,
then this is the end
of the line for you.
Paige.
Thank you all very much.
Well done.
This isn't right.
Raya.
You have
to take my brother.
Excuse me?
No one deserves this more than
Zak. Why didn't you pick him?
99% of the people
don't get picked.
He was running rings
around those other guys!
We're not looking
for ring runners.
No, wait. You have to explain
why you didn't pick him!
I don't have
to explain anything.
I wish you the best, son.
But this is the end
of the line for you.
If he's not going,
neither am I.
- Raya, don't be stupid, okay?
- Is that a threat?
- Yes.
- No.
You know, thousands of people
apply for this opportunity
every week.
Now, I'm gonna give you
ten seconds
to let me know
that you want it.
Not without Zak.
Coach, she wants this.
Don't listen to her.
Raya, let's just leave it.
Come on!
Five.
Raya.
Four.
You're not just doing this
for you, Raya, are you?
You're doing it
for the family.
Three.
- Two.
- Yeah, okay, I want this.
See you in Florida.
Well?
They didn't take me.
But...
my little sister just became
the first 18-year-old
English girl,
to be signed by the WWE!
Champagne!
Ez, oi, go down
to the corner shop,
nick a bottle
of champagne. Go on.
This is so exciting!
- You all right?
- Oh, yeah, of course. Fine.
Well done, Raya.
Attaboy.
Suits you, that.
Remember when we made these?
Yeah, of course.
Take your bag down, yeah?
Yeah, please. Thanks.
Come on. Chop-chop.
In the van.
I'm not gonna be able
to make it to the airport.
What're you talking about?
Just got some things
I need to do.
Your sister's
going to America.
Yeah, I know.
Just can't get out of it.
It's fine. If he's busy.
All right.
Sorry, I just
got things to do.
I get it. It's cool.
All right, well then...
Good luck with it all.
Good luck with the baby.
Yeah, yeah. Cheers.
Okay.
Don't cry.
Huh?
At the airport.
You know what Mum's like.
If you're crying,
she'll start crying
and then you're not gonna
wanna go, are you?
So just put your hood up,
don't look back.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, God.
Come on.
You're all right. Be strong.
I really wish Zak
was coming with me.
Yeah, we all do, love.
Can you take care of him?
He'll be all right.
He's the tough one
of the family.
When I was living on
the streets, I didn't think...
I'd be lucky enough
to have kids.
Let alone one with the talent
to get bloody rich and famous.
You go get it, baby, okay.
You're amazing.
You're absolutely amazing.
You're gonna be a star, babe.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
- Go on.
- Don't go.
- I love you. I love you.
- Proud of you, babe.
Bye, Raya.
Love you, Ray.
Love you, babe.
I love you, princess.
We're proud
of you, darling.
Come on, babe.
Love you!
We're gonna miss you!
You're gonna be amazing.
Hey.
Hey.
- NXT?
- Uh, yeah, hi.
- Us, too. How's it going?
- Good.
I'm all right.
Long flight. Tired. Hi.
- Oh, I'm Kirsten.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Jeri-Lynn. Hi.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey, I'm Madison.
- Hi. I'm Saraya.
No, Britani. Wait, Paige.
I love your accent.
You sound
like a Nazi in a movie.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I love
that. Say something else.
Like what?
Uh, anything.
Here. Read something.
Okay.
Uh...
"The sudden fire claimed
the lives of five orphans."
I love it.
"The charred remains
of the children
could only be identified
from dental records."
- So sexy, right?
- So sexy.
I am so jealous
of you right now.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Well, this is where
we assess you...
and see whether or not
you get to go on to WWE.
Look to your left.
To your right.
Before you leave Orlando,
at least one of you
will be a stripper.
How many of you wanna be
on the WWE main roster?
Yes, Coach!
Would you like to be
WWE World Champion?
Yes, Coach!
What I'm determined
to find out is,
do you want it bad enough...
to push your ass
past what you think
you're physically capable of?
Yes, Coach!
There's two ways out.
Either I cut you,
or you ask for the horn.
Because you know
that you got yourself
in over your head.
All you gotta do is squeeze
it, makes it all stop.
- Would you like the horn?
- No, Coach!
- You.
- No, Coach.
- Anybody want the horn?
- No, Coach!
Good! Welcome to the suck.
Let's have some fun.
Go!
Set!
Keep moving, guys.
Keep moving.
Down!
Up!
Down!
Bump! And again!
- Squeeze the horn and go home!
- No, Coach!
- Squeeze the horn!
- No!
I ain't goin' back
Till the bottle runs dry
I ain't goin' back
Till the car gets high
I ain't goin' back
If I do shake your hand,
that means this is
the end of the line for you.
Thank you for your time.
I'll see the rest
of you tomorrow.
Barry's gone.
Take the wrist.
Swing under and take the head.
Good. And again. Come on.
Push, push!
Okay, dig deep!
Get on your feet.
Get on your feet.
Are we done here?
All right,
go to the locker room.
Come on, Paige.
Push it, push it up.
What if you gotta do
a belly-to-back suplex
and lift someone?
You can't lift them,
you drop them
on their head.
You'll break their neck.
You'll give me a shit-ton
of paperwork.
I hate paperwork.
I can barely write, Paige.
Push it!
Keep going! Nice, big,
long push, Courtney!
Come on! Good girl.
Come on!
A nice, long, deep push.
Good morning,
wrestling nerds.
Good morning, Coach!
Welcome to promo class.
Now, as you all know,
wrestling is storytelling.
It is soap opera in spandex.
Good versus evil.
Babyface versus heel.
We do a lot
of our storytelling
in the ring with wrestling...
but equally as important,
you must be able
to storytell on the mic.
This is an essential part
of being able
to get over with the fans.
This is your opportunity
to let them know who you are.
Tell them what you're about.
The WWE can put you
on the main roster...
but only the fans
can keep you there.
Who wants to go first?
My name is Jeri-Lynn.
And I may look like
the girl next door...
but underneath this
is a firecracker.
And I am going to blow you...
- Excuse me?
- ...out of the water!
My 10-year-old just
asked me some questions
I don't wanna answer.
- Let's put it together.
- Yeah.
- Let's keep it one.
- Of course.
My name is Augustus Heights.
- Augustus?
- Augustus Heights.
Are you a polo player?
- Uh, no.
- Are you gonna
- come out in full polo garb?
- No.
How did you come up
with Augustus Heights?
It's my name.
- Is it really?
- Yeah.
Okay, let's go again.
My name is Augustus Heights.
Are you a guy who's going
to inherit a beer company?
No.
Let's come up
with a wrestling name.
Augustus Heights
feels like a guy
who's gonna politely
ask me for some butter.
My name is Paige.
And I am all the rage.
Girls wanna be me.
Guys wanna get to know me.
May sound like bragging,
but it ain't if it's true.
It ain't about the size
of the dog in the fight...
it's about the size
of the fight in the dog.
And this dog
is about to bite hard!
I love it.
Yeah?
When I heard it 20 years ago.
Those are like lines
you could get off a Dixie cup.
Well, people liked it
in Norwich, so...
Yeah, but here
they have cable,
and running water,
and electricity...
and they would've heard
their 5-year-old brother...
use it at a dinner table.
You go out and you take that
in front of
a live crowd here...
it's like throwing a pork chop
to a bunch of hyenas.
They're gonna chew you up.
You gotta find something
that's specific to you.
Something that only
you can say.
All right, let's go. Next.
My name is Nick Barnes.
For those of you who don't
know me, let me fill you in.
Where I come from...
...you have to work hard
to get what you want.
But what I see here is a bunch
of lazy wannabe wrestlers.
- I say, do it!
- Do it? Yeah?
All right.
Go for Hutch.
Hello, Mr. Morgan?
It's Zak Zodiac calling again.
Just wanted to check up
on the tape.
We reviewed your tape,
and we were
all very impressed.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, thank you.
That means a lot. Thank you.
But the, uh,
answer is still no.
Could I speak to someone else,
please, sir?
Someone higher up maybe.
I'm afraid not.
Sir, I don't think
you understand. Um...
You see,
this is my dream, this.
I do understand.
No, no, you don't.
Look, I have a kid now, sir,
and I've made
my girlfriend promises.
We're looking
for something you don't have.
What's that, then?
Something extra.
- Something extra?
- A spark.
I have that. I've got that
in buckets, mate.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do. I do.
No, you don't.
And what? But my sister does?
Let it go, son.
Please, please don't do this.
All right. Don't do this.
Let it go.
I can't. I can't let it go
because this is all
I can do, right?
Then you'll have
to find something else.
- Goodbye.
- I...
Jesus...
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
You're supposed to pull it,
not actually kick me
in the ovaries.
I'm sorry.
Okay. Doesn't matter.
Let's go again.
Oh, my...
I'm so sorry.
- What was that?
- It was a mistake.
Yeah, no, I know wrestlers
that are paralyzed
from mistakes.
Where did you wrestle before?
I didn't.
So, what did you do?
I was a model.
Okay, um...
Right. You need to look at me
so I know when to move.
Okay.
- Oh, my God!
- Jesus!
What happened?
She slapped her.
Like a for-real slap.
No. It was a receipt.
- Looked like a slap.
- It's called a receipt.
You botch a move,
you get a receipt.
- All right, apologize.
- For what?
Receipts are important.
It teaches you not to make
the same mistake twice.
We don't give receipts here.
I said apologize.
Well, you should. They'd
pick things up a lot quicker.
When I was learning,
I got loads of receipts
from my brother.
This isn't some inbred,
backyard wrestling unit.
This is the NXT.
We don't do the receipt stuff
around here.
So, if I ask you to apologize
or do anything else,
I expect you to do it.
I was just teaching her
how to...
Paige, I just asked you
to apologize!
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
All right. Get back at it.
You okay?
Yeah.
You wanna switch up?
Yeah, yeah,
I'll switch in.
I miss
you all so much.
I just lie awake, thinking
about what you're all doing.
I haven't even met Caden yet!
You ain't missing much,
just shitting and pissing.
How's
the training, love?
It's really hard.
I mean,
it's meant to be hard.
If it was easy, any
poor bastard could do it.
What's
your competition like?
Hmm. All the other
girls are gorgeous.
Yeah, they've probably
been chosen
for their looks, unlike you.
- Thanks, Mum.
- No, I don't mean that, do I?
I just mean that WWE,
they take on models
and cheerleaders and girls
that just wanna get famous
jiggling their
tits and their ass.
They don't have girls with
wrestling experience like you.
You're gonna blow them
out of the water.
Maybe.
Ever since we
announced you'd been signed...
it has gone absolutely
mental over here.
We are selling
a ton of merchandise.
What merchandise?
Who's that?
- It's you, innit?
- You.
Who's making them?
Are you running a sweatshop?
It is not a sweatshop!
Nah, in a sweatshop,
you get paid.
All right,
no more rice for you, huh?
Hey, babe...
number one best-selling item.
Ho-ho.
Signed picture.
But who's signing them?
Who do you think? I got RSI.
Yeah, but that is
from wanking, not writing.
Wait. Guys, "Paige"
should have an "I" in it.
Should it?
Puh, ah... Ah, yeah.
Yeah. It doesn't matter.
None of our fans
can read anyway.
Listen, I had a brainwave
about the Christmassacre.
Zak Zodiac versus the WWE's...
- Paige!
- Paige!
I don't know, Dad.
I'm not sure.
You're gonna win.
The fans will love it.
What do you think, Zak?
Zak loves the idea! We sold
a lot of tickets, babe.
Wait, you sold tickets?
Without telling me?
We're telling you now.
Look at that. Look at that!
That's all you.
You should be proud.
You're doing that
for your family.
Now, imagine you get
on the main roster. Huh?
We'll make millions!
What if I don't get
on the main roster?
What? Don't talk
like that, darling.
Look, you just work hard,
yeah? Keep focused.
We're all proud of you.
We believe in you.
Yeah. Bye, babe.
- Love you, Raya! We love you!
- Bye.
Bye! Love you!
He's not
the smartest cookie.
Yeah, he's been dropped
on his head too many times.
Hey!
I just wanted
to explain the receipt.
I got a bit nervous,
because Kirsten...
up until a few months ago,
she was just a model.
Sometimes,
WWE, they hire girls...
who just wanna
jiggle their tits and ass
and get famous, basically.
Like cheerleaders, models,
dancers, whatever.
I was a model.
Ah, right.
Cheerleader.
Cool.
Well, at least you're
not dancers.
I'm...
See you later!
Ladies and gentlemen...
...we are NXT!
And the future is now!
Introducing
to the WWE Universe
for the very first time...
Madison!
Please welcome Jeri-Lynn!
Welcome Kirsten!
I love you, Kirsten!
All the way from the UK...
Paige!
Yeah, this is
what I paid for,
three hot chicks
and my dead grandmother.
Look on the bright side.
At least
she's not in a bikini.
And now it's time for the WWE
Divas Promo Challenge!
My name is Kirsten.
And I'm the future of NXT.
And the future looks good!
But what can I say
about Paige?
Where's your black cat?
I could say, I'm gonna
rearrange your teeth.
Ooh!
But you're British,
I'd be doing you a favor!
Now, the world
can be a very dark place.
That's why people
want sunshine and glamour.
Which is why I'm gonna stick
your broomstick up your butt
and fly you home to Hogwarts!
What you got?
Come on, Ozzy Osbourne!
Sing something!
Speak! The power
of Christ compels you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
You just suck!
Freak!
Yeah, gonna have to
get used to it, though.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.
Hey, you okay?
Mmm-hmm.
Jesus Christ, Zak!
Hello! You've reached Zak.
Please leave a message.
Zak's here, Zak's here!
Y'all, let's go, let's go.
All right, let's go.
Come on! Let's do this!
What's going on?
Why'd he just leave like that?
Dude?
Guys, we're not wrestling.
I take it
we're not wrestling today.
Yeah.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Hey!
You're blonde!
Yeah.
Thought I'd
change it up a bit.
Who did it?
I did it myself.
- Really?
- Last night, yeah.
- Right on.
- Nice!
And you're so tan!
I did that myself, too.
- Looks so natural.
- Nice!
It's good to change it up.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes, I wanna do that.
Did someone break up with you?
No.
Whatever.
Well, should we load up?
Yeah!
Yeah, we'll go get a seat.
This is our last day
before the holiday!
I'm not gonna have
your asses for a week!
So, please, show me
that you wanna be here!
Fight for it!
Come on!
Get her out of the ring!
Let me see
how bad you want it!
Next group up!
Don't be shy with those!
You wanna headline
WrestleMania.
You wanna be Divas Champion,
then show me!
All right, come on, ladies!
Here we go! Look who got
a makeover to come in last!
Come on! You look
like a snow leopard!
Thank God for
the camouflage pants
so the hunters can't see you
in the sand!
Flip the tire three times!
Three times!
Come on, English, let's go!
That's two. Come on.
How're you gonna flip a girl
five nights
a week in a ring...
if you can't even flip
a vulcanized rubber circle?
Oh, shit! I can't!
I can't...
Put yourself
out of your misery.
Next group up!
Bar's been lowered!
I don't even know
if I wanna be here anymore.
Talk about me again
behind my back...
and I swear I'll give you
more than a receipt.
I wasn't talking about you.
You are so fake.
- No one was talking about you.
- Oh, my God.
- I saw you!
- We weren't talking about you!
What, do you think I'm stupid?
I've been sat right there
just watching you!
We're talking about her.
Who is she?
My daughter...
who I haven't seen in four
months because I'm here...
putting up with your shit,
so she can have a better life.
I didn't know
you had a daughter.
No, you don't know
anything about me.
Or them, or about our lives,
or why we're here.
Well, you never told me.
You never asked.
Why would you?
We're just
tits and ass, right?
Well,
the girls took a vote.
You're the homecoming queen.
Thanks.
How do you think
this ends for you?
On the main roster.
Divas Champion.
You realize that today
was about proving
that you deserve that.
Right?
I'll start proving myself
when you put me
with real wrestlers.
Wrestlers like my brother.
Your brother's a journeyman.
- No.
- Yes.
- No!
- There are stars...
and there's journeymen
who take the hits...
that make the stars look good.
And your brother's
a journeyman.
He's the punching bag.
He's the guy with the bad
shorts with no fanfare.
No, you bring him here...
I bring him out here
and then what?
We put him on the road
for 200 days a year?
He's chasing fame that's
never gonna come to him?
His wife starts screwing
the garbage man
'cause he's never around?
His kid can't remember
his face, and for what?
Maybe he'd get a shot
at a pay-per-view event.
And he would try so hard
to make an impression...
he'd probably let
a real star...
throw him off a 30-foot cage
onto a concrete floor.
Have his shoulder bone...
just kinda splice right
through his rotator cuff...
tear it clean in half.
And then the doctor would say,
"That's it. Your
wrestling career is over."
But why quit then?
He wouldn't stop.
So then the wife would
leave him and take the kid.
And then, he would just keep
chasing the pipe dream...
until he'd end up
4,000 miles away
from anyone
that ever loved him.
He'd be bitter,
and he'd be mean.
And he'd be all by himself...
just wishing that, God,
he could get his kid
to return his phone call.
Is that the life that you want
for your brother?
No, I know that
wouldn't happen to Zak.
I didn't think
that would happen to me.
We didn't sign your brother.
And we shouldn't
have signed you.
You're weak in your body...
and your spirit's weak.
You think it's tough now.
This is only gonna get harder.
You should go home.
Wrestle with your family
and be happy.
That's how this ends for ya.
It's gonna be
four grand up, love.
There's a big buzz about
the Christmassacre, you know.
I'm thinking
that I might have to do
maybe two nights, babe,
if you can hang around.
Bloody hell!
Look at that tan!
Willy Wonka called, he needs
you back at the factory.
Hi, Mum.
Come here, baby!
- Who made you do all that?
- Huh?
- All of that.
- No one.
- It's America, it's different.
- Right.
Anyway, how's Caden?
How's Courtney?
- Caden's beautiful, yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- And how's Zak?
- Yeah, no, Zak's good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, he's good.
- Okay.
Hey!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You all right?
- How you doing?
Yeah, good, yeah, good.
How are you?
Yeah, well...
I tried calling you
loads of times, but...
Yeah, my phone's
probably been off. Caden...
Been working a ton.
Oh, okay.
How is the States?
Uh...
Yeah, I've been wanting
to talk to you
about that, actually.
Um...
I'm not gonna go back.
It's harder than we ever
thought it would be.
And I... I can't do it.
I was hoping you could help me
tell Mum and Dad
about it later.
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- Ho, ho, ho!
Thanks.
Please welcome...
the reigning WAW Champion...
the unstoppable,
the untamable...
Zak Zodiac!
And for one night only,
in the flesh...
the next great star
of the WWE...
All the way from America...
Your homecoming queen,
and my baby girl!
Paige!
- Yeah, Paige!
- We love you, Paige!
All right. Let's go.
Bit of back and forth.
You get the better of her.
Last minute,
you smash him up. Yeah?
- Good, let's go. Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
You ready? Ring the bell!
- Come on, baby girl!
- Come on, Paige!
Come on, girl!
Yeah.
Zak, come on.
- Zak!
- Get out, Zak!
What's he doing?
What?
- Zak!
- Zak!
Hey!
Go easy, would you?
You're going too hard.
No, no, no! Zak, no! Don't!
- Ref, get involved!
- I'm warning ya!
- She's fine, she's fine!
- Ease up on her.
Come on, Raya, get up!
Daddy, I don't know
what he's doing.
Big smile, Raya. Big smiles.
Yeah!
- One!
- Yes!
- Two!
- Three!
- No! Two!
- No, three!
- That was two.
- Get up, Paige!
- Zak, get off me!
- No, no, no!
Let me down, Zak!
- Don't you dare!
- No!
Zak! No!
- One!
- Zak!
- Two!
- Let me up!
Three!
- Shut up!
- Raya, you all right?
What was that?
Slam me three times!
Is that a joke?
- Zak?
- Oi, dickhead!
You could've broken her neck!
She was in the ring, too.
She's a big girl.
Give her shit.
She does what she's told!
She follows the script!
Does she?
Shut up, Zak.
Well, you wanted my help
telling them.
- Let's tell 'em.
- No, shut up!
- What is going on?
- Nothing. It's fine.
Look, babe.
- You ain't pregnant, are ya?
- No, I'm not pregnant, Dad.
- I will hit the roof.
- No, I'm not pregnant!
- It's fine.
- She's quitting.
- What?
- You prick.
You're welcome.
Wait.
You what?
Raya, I'm confused.
Is he... Is he joking?
No, I can't do it.
Of course, you can do it.
No, I wake up...
I work out, I train...
I come home, I can't sleep.
And then we do it
all again the next day.
I'm really lonely
and I have no friends.
Yeah, life of a wrestler.
Get a cat!
No, Dad, I don't wanna be
4,000 miles away.
I wanna be here,
I wanna be with my family.
You're doing this
for your family!
Yeah, I thought
Zak would be there.
Well, he ain't there!
He bollocksed it up!
So did Roy!
I'm not letting you
bollocks it up and all!
I'm not going back!
You are going back
to the States,
if I have to
drag you there myself!
You're an alchie ex-con, Dad!
They're not gonna let you in!
- Oi, you watch your mouth!
- You... Stay!
Raya.
Raya, wait. Come here.
I know it's hard, okay? I do.
But you cannot give this
opportunity up. It's massive.
You're gonna regret it.
And it's what you've
always wanted.
Yeah? Or is it
what you've always wanted?
What do you mean?
Mum.
You named me
after your own ring name.
Go away.
Ray, Courtney rang.
Your brother's not come home.
If you don't wanna go back
to America,
we're not gonna make you.
Shut up!
Has everyone gone mad?
If she gets on the main
roster, she is set for life.
- She is, or you are?
- All of us!
Jesus Christ!
You want me to go back
to robbing banks
- to feed this family?
- What family?
Our daughter's miserable,
one son's in prison,
the other one's hanging on
by a thread.
Zak is fine!
Would you get your thick head
out of your fat ass?
He's not fine!
We're out looking for Zak!
If you have to go back
to robbing banks
to feed this family, so be it.
'Cause at this rate, we ain't
gonna have one to feed.
Dad?
- What, babe?
- Dad, that's Zak's car.
That's his car, right there.
I ain't joking.
These builders...
they said they're gonna
take about a month.
How long they been there?
Come on, how long?
Six, seven weeks.
Every week,
they boost the prices, though.
They need this,
they need that.
A little bit of extra dough
for this...
Hey!
Oi!
What're you doing, mate?
What?
You just stuck your elbow out.
No, I didn't.
You calling me a liar?
No, I'm calling you a wanker.
I didn't hear that.
Then you're a deaf wanker
as well.
Come on, then!
Let's get him!
Come on, then!
Come on! Come on, then!
Come on!
Come on!
Hey!
That is enough! Let's go.
It's done.
That's Ricky Knight.
Silly sod!
Yeah, that's enough.
It is enough!
Zak!
Mum, it's fine.
We've got it. It's fine.
Silly bugger,
what're you doing? Come here!
Where you going?
Zak!
Yeah, you're right.
He's fine.
Jules.
Oi, come here.
Can we just talk
for a second, please?
Zak, why won't you talk to me?
'Cause I can't even look
at you.
Why?
Why? Why?
Okay, do you actually know
what it's like, Raya,
to want one thing in life?
One dream that you think about
every single day...
you work for,
and you train for,
and you get
that close to it...
and then your own sister
takes it away from you.
And then it turns out
she doesn't even want it
in the first place.
That's why.
I didn't take your dream, Zak.
No, then why am I still here?
Because they didn't want you!
I'm sorry,
and it is so shitty,
but it is not my fault.
And it's not yours.
It is just how it is.
Right.
Yeah. So you can either
curl up into a ball and die...
or you can live with it
and move on...
and start seeing all
the things you've got here.
What have I got here?
A beautiful son,
a girlfriend that loves you.
All those kids at the gym.
Zak, you're teaching
a blind kid how to wrestle.
How is that even possible?
Just 'cause millions of people
aren't cheering
when you do it...
it doesn't mean
it's not important.
I didn't take your dream, Zak.
It was my dream, too.
Then why are you
throwing it away?
Hey.
Can I come in?
Your mum is right.
If you don't
wanna go back, don't.
You don't have to do anything
that me or Mum or anyone
want you to do...
unless you wanna do it.
You are
the spark in our lives...
no matter what you do
with yours.
Come here.
What have you done
with this hair?
I don't know.
It's like kissing an afghan.
Can I help you with something?
You didn't cut me
and I didn't quit.
I have a showcase
in six weeks.
I don't have time
for any drama.
I know.
Are you sure
you wanna be here?
Yes.
Then you better
prove it to me.
Yes, Coach.
Let's move!
One.
Two.
Can I join?
Come on!
Look at them, look at me, go,
land at the same time, go!
I'm sorry.
Come on,
you're not a wrestler.
Squeeze the horn and go home.
Come on, you came to Florida,
you got a nice tan...
now it's over. Squeeze it.
Squeeze it.
Don't you dare.
Squeeze his horn and I will
give you such a receipt.
Horn's right here.
Just one squeeze.
Don't you touch
his dirty horn.
Come on, Jeri,
let's go!
- You can squeeze it.
- You can do it!
- You got nothing in the tank.
- Come on, Jeri! You got it!
Take the horn.
Take the horn.
Stop, take it!
Take it. Take it.
Come on! Bring it in!
Take my wrists.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like this?
This is your time.
Okay! Yeah.
You're not the girl
I paid for.
I know. The girl you paid for
is tied up in your basement.
- You suck!
- Yeah, but you swallow.
Eat me!
No, thanks.
I'm trying to bulk up.
Them, me, go.
Whoa, Madison, hey.
All right, just lose
the suicide dive,
you're not gonna get it.
No, we will. I swear.
We'll get it.
You have to go for it.
Tag!
Let's go, in the ring.
You got it, Kirsten.
One...
- Two!
- Whoo!
- Tag me!
- Tag!
Yeah!
Come on, get out!
Come on! In the ring!
No, no, no!
Madison!
Unfortunately, we're
at that moment again.
Thank you for your time.
- Appreciate it.
- Thanks, Coach.
For the rest of you,
as a reward
for making it this far...
I'm gonna take you to
a quiet, romantic, little spot
I like to call WrestleMania.
What?
Yes!
Keep your focus.
There's still a lot of stuff
to do ahead of us.
But we're gonna get to go out
and have some fun, okay?
Go home and get some
rest, guys. Thank you.
All good?
- All right?
- All right, love?
- My big boy. Yeah.
- You all right?
Oh, my God.
That's Divas Champion.
That's Divas Champion.
Oh, my God!
No.
Hamburgers.
It's free food!
You know
I'm an emotional eater.
You're enabling me now.
This is gonna make me
gain weight.
You can burn it off
in the ring. That's great.
- I can't burn it off.
- Hi, guys.
Eat as much as you want.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I'm a massive fan.
- Cool.
- Thanks. Thanks.
Just gonna...
It's free, right? Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's free.
Yeah.
You wanna leave some
for the rest of us there?
- Yeah.
- Come with me.
Have a good match, boys.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
Bye.
If she can eat it,
you can eat it...
- Don't eat a hot dog.
- Here.
No, I don't...
Do you know
what's in a hot dog?
Is that The Miz?
Hey, Coach.
Where are you going?
I have no idea. I don't know.
- What's happening?
- Where is she going?
I'm sorry, I thought
the hot dogs were free.
Please.
The following is
the Divas Championship
Invitational.
The first diva
to score a pinfall...
or submission
will be declared the winner...
Hey.
Hey.
How're you doing?
Yeah. Good. You?
Did you bring it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I brought it.
Paige, when's the last time
you spoke to your family?
Couple of weeks ago.
Well, I think
we should call 'em.
You wanna
call my family?
I would like to call
your family.
So what's their number?
Am I in trouble?
The Black Widow is in.
Come on!
And she taps out!
Here's your winner, AJ Lee!
Sit. Stay there.
AJ Lee continues
her historic reign
as Divas Champion.
The longest of all time.
Which prick is calling me
during WrestleMania?
It's, uh...
It's Dwayne Johnson.
Yeah,
and I'm Vin Diesel, mate.
Well, let's hope not.
No, it is, Mr. Knight,
it's Dwayne Johnson.
How are you?
Prove it.
Uh, okay.
If you smell...
what The Rock...
is cooking.
Yeah? Bullshit.
I'm sorry.
What?
Dad! It's actually him.
- You what?
- Yeah, it's actually him.
Hold the line one second.
- It's Saraya and The Rock.
- Yeah, right.
I got you
on speakerphone, sir.
Hey, yeah.
It's Dwayne Johnson.
I'm here
with your daughter now,
and, uh, I first met her
in London.
And I've been
keeping tabs on her...
and I just heard some news
that I wanted
to share with her...
and I thought you guys should
hear it too at the same time.
- Right.
- What news?
Paige's time
with the NXT is over.
Oh.
- Oh.
- Okay.
Because tomorrow night...
she'll make her debut
live on RAW
and she will be fighting
AJ Lee for the Divas title.
Wait, what?
Dick me dead,
bury me pregnant.
There it is again.
You don't know what this means
to us, Mr. Rock.
Actually, uh...
I know exactly what it means
to you, ma'am.
I myself have come from
a wrestling family, too...
and I wanted
to share this news
with you guys
just so you could enjoy it...
and also just so Paige can
prepare herself mentally to go
out there tomorrow night...
and win over the crowd.
Because
if you don't do that...
then they're gonna find
somebody else who will.
And then
this whole opportunity
will be gone by next week.
She's not gonna
let you down, Mr. Rock.
I'll promise ya.
She's gonna smash it.
- She'll kill it.
- Proud of you, Ray.
I love you, princess.
We're all with you, darling.
You're amazing, baby.
I love you, Rock.
Rock?
I... I love you, too.
It's The Rock! Huh?
Good luck tomorrow, Paige.
Yeah. Um, thanks
for picking me.
Nah, I didn't pick you,
I just work here.
You know him?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know that guy.
We once had a crazy match
where he threw himself...
off the top
of a 30-foot steel cage...
just to make me look good.
I'll see you later, Sex Tape.
Why'd you call him "Sex Tape"?
Oh, because he makes
people famous.
Good luck tomorrow.
Who'd a thought it, eh?
Our little sister's gone
from here...
to WWE.
You would've too, Roy,
if they'd given you
the chance.
No.
No, she has something
I never had.
What's that?
You.
Ez!
Get in the van, mate.
Come on, mate.
You're late for training.
Piss off, dickhead!
I would do, sweetheart,
but he's already paid
for the lessons.
And by Christ, he needs 'em.
Ez.
Please.
Ez.
Ez!
- All right?
- Yeah.
He looks lovely.
Smash it!
Out of the way!
I got a hammer on a pole!
Come on! Oh, watch it!
- Zak's back!
- Get in the van! Come on!
Leave that there!
Christ!
Please don't tell me
you're deaf as well, now!
Strong into the ropes.
Strong.
That's it!
All right. Find the ropes.
Ez, let him know you're there.
All right, don't be scared.
Stand tall, mate.
Nice one! Well done!
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
We know how to do it
And we do it real well
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
Go back to zero,
take a pill and get well
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
Be a good soldier
and die where you fell
Oh... Stop
John Cena!
And what an incredible
scene tonight!
15,000 WWE fans! Sold out!
Paige, you're up!
Uh...
- Hang on a minute!
- This is it! Let's go!
Yeah, I know.
I said just hang on a second.
Hold on for what?
This is live TV!
Well, you got a face
like a bulldog
licking piss off a thistle.
Zak, I can't do this.
What're you talking about?
I'm gonna choke,
I'm gonna screw up.
I'm gonna botch a move. I...
I won't go over
with the crowd.
Paige!
Come on! Let's go!
Zak, I have no idea who
I'm supposed to be out there.
Do what The Rock said.
Be the first you.
Oh, bollocks to The Rock!
That's not advice, Zak,
that's a tweet!
He's not some weirdo freak
from Norwich, is he?
No, but that is who you are.
Who else you gonna be?
Come on. If you can't
do this, no one can.
You're a Knight.
Wrestling's in your blood.
Like hepatitis?
A, B, and C.
Riddled.
And you got something else.
Something that I don't have.
Yeah? Like what?
That extra something.
Yeah, you don't know that.
I've always known that.
Why do you think I've been
acting like such a prick?
And listen to me, right?
No matter what happens
when you go out there...
it will never be as bad
as that time in King's Lynn...
when I went on
wearing Dad's shorts.
When your penis fell out!
When my penis fell out.
Everyone was laughing at it.
Everyone wasn't
laughing at it.
People were laughing
at the situation.
Why did you even stay
in the ring?
Because I'm
a bloody professional.
And so are you, right?
That's what I'm saying.
So, have you got
your own shorts on tonight?
Yes. My penis won't fall out.
Then get out there.
All right?
Thank you.
It's what I'm here for.
Now, go and win over
that crowd.
I wanna hear 'em
chanting your name.
Okay.
Paige!
Come on, we're gonna be late.
Where were you? Jesus.
The Divas Champion, AJ Lee!
Well, guys,
today marks day number 295...
in the historic
Divas Championship reign
of AJ!
Last night, she outlasted
13 other Divas...
to retain the title
at WrestleMania.
And, guys, I still
don't know how she did it.
She keeps
finding ways to win.
She on yet?
For 295 days...
I have been
your Divas Champion!
The longest reigning
Divas Champion...
of all time!
Well, this right here is
a very
interesting development.
But that young lady...
...is Paige.
- She's from Norwitch, England.
- Norwich!
And she comes to us
from NXT.
Certainly different.
And this is a huge
opportunity for Paige
to impress
this crowd here tonight.
AJ doesn't look
too happy to see Paige.
A capacity crowd
in New Orleans...
millions watching
around the world...
under the bright lights
of Monday Night RAW.
I'm sorry,
is it Halloween already?
Who the hell are you?
Well, you can understand
Paige being...
She's frozen.
- ...a bit hesitant here.
- Come on, darling.
But these WWE fans
will turn on her quick.
Do something!
Tell you what.
Why don't I do to you
what I did
to every single Diva
last night?
I think we should have
a match right now.
And as a special
post- WrestleMania treat...
I will put my title
on the line.
Paige isn't ready.
I mean...
Paige came from a
wrestling family in England...
but she... Oh!
She wasn't ready
for a match tonight.
Come on, Ray. Get up.
Paige needs to do
something here...
or she's gonna
let this opportunity
slip through her fingers.
This is my house, freak!
- Yes!
- Come on!
Yes!
Yeah!
Suck on that, bitch!
Mmm-hmm.
Sorry.
And this could be
Paige's moment!
She's heading up
to the top rope right there!
AJ Lee has turned
this match around!
This doesn't end well.
Top rope,
AJ on the top rope.
AJ takin' out Paige!
Oh, man. Wow!
I don't think Paige knows
where she's at.
And now,
the Divas Champion
crawling toward Paige,
hooks the leg!
- One! Two!
- And it's over!
Oh, a kick-out!
Last moment kick-out by Paige!
Hair!
And this has just
angered AJ!
AJ with a kick
to the midsection.
It's the Black Widow!
The submission move...
that's taken out
so many Divas!
Paige is trying
to hang on here...
but she's gotta tap out!
She's gonna get seriously hurt
if she doesn't tap here!
Paige has gotta tap out!
One! Two! Three!
Now, the winner
of this match...
and new Divas Champion...
Paige!
This is unbelievable,
guys! You gotta watch...
what happens here
at the end of this thing!
Watch Paige
with a Paige Turner!
That's the Zak Attack!
She stole your move!
She didn't steal it,
I gave it to her!
I am a freak!
From Norwich, England!
And I have dreamt of this...
since I was 13 years old!
And it's not just mine,
it belongs to my family!
It belongs to anyone
who ever felt
like they are the freak
from Norwich...
the oddballs, the outsiders...
the ones that don't belong!
My name is Paige.
And this is my house now!
- Yes!
- That's right! That's right!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
- Look, the big man's crying!
- Sod off!
Look at him.
I'm not crying,
I'm allergic to the dog.
- Oh, my God!
- Go, Paige!
Oh, my God!
That was incredible.
Oh, my God!
That was amazing!
- You were amazing. You did it!
- You were incredible!
Yeah!
What an
incredible moment!
She wasn't even ready
to be in the WWE...
and Paige is gonna
leave here tonight...
the new Divas Champion!
That youth title should be
around my waist, or trophy,
'cause I'm gonna
kick your ass!
And that's the bottom line,
'cause Zodiac don't care.
My first match,
I was knocked out
in about five minutes,
if that.
I started growing up
watching it,
and I was just like,
"Ugh! It's really boring!"
Zak would get in the ring
and throw me
about and stuff like that.
So, I always knew, like,
a couple of moves and stuff.
Dad was short
on a show one day
when I was 13 years old.
So, yeah, I had to fill in
for that one slot,
and I've been hooked
ever since.
I'd done eight years in prison
before I was 25.
- Mainly violence.
- Mainly violence.
She was a young lady
at the time,
was contemplating suicide...
was going nowhere in life.
Some people find religion.
Well, me and Julie
found wrestling.
That, to me,
is proper salvation.
What? What?
We are a family of wrestlers.
We make no apologies for that.
This is what we do,
this is what we love.
This is our passion.
This is gonna be our legacy
when I pop me clogs.
This is what it's all about.
I love you. I love you.
The rowdy man
that's crying his eyes out.
Paige Turner,
she did it!
Paige did it!
If you smell...
What The Rock is cooking!
Oh, my God!
Title's on the line here.
He's going to the top!
He wants to finish
The Rock off!
Oh, no!
- Wait a minute!
- The Rock has done it!
The Rock has done it!
The Rock is back
and on top of the mountain!
- Yes! Yes!
- Rocky!
Rocky!
Rocky! Rocky!
Paige!
I'm watching that!
I wanna watch Charmed.
- No! Give me the remote!
- No!
Give it to me!
- Get off, Zak! Get off!
- Come on! Give it here!
Zak! What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?
If you really wanna
choke her out,
interlock the fingers.
- Yeah.
- Now pull it tight.
Oh, yeah!
Now she's in trouble.
You feel it?
- You feel it cut...
- What is going on?
He's choking me!
What're you gonna do about it?
Well, hello. Whoa!
- Yeah, yeah, nice.
- That's my girl.
Hey, Saraya.
You don't have to look
pretty today, princess.
Yeah, but she's not just
pretty on the outside, is she?
In there is a heart of gold.
Do anything for anyone.
What are you two
dickheads after?
Babe, I am a girl down
- for the under-18s match.
- No.
I don't wanna be a wrestler.
You would love
the buzz, darling.
It's like coke, crack,
heroin combined.
Have you done coke,
crack, and heroin?
Not combined.
Darling, if I have
to give refunds,
I am buggered
six ways to Sunday.
I need you to do this
for your family.
Do you understand that?
No, Dad, I can't wrestle
some random girl.
- I'll screw it up.
- What if you're wrestling me?
Let's go!
I can't do this, Zak.
It's like a dance,
just follow me.
Okay.
Come on!
Yeah!
Come on, princess!
Come on, darling.
Come on, girl!
You can do it!
- Come on!
- Come on!
Come on, you muppets!
Shut up! Sit down!
Hey.
Quick, her hair!
Shut up!
Hey, don't you come in!
Don't you come in!
- I'm coming in!
- I'll disqualify you!
Get off her throat!
Get off her throat now!
Come on!
All right, I'm gettin' in!
I'm gettin' in!
- Britani! Britani!
- Come on!
Britani! Britani!
Britani! Britani!
- Don't you dare!
- Oh, I will!
Zak attack! Zak attack!
Zak attack! Zak attack!
Zak attack!
No! No!
Anything but this!
One!
Two!
Three! That's it!
Come on!
The winners,
Zak Zodiac and Britani!
That's disgusting, Zak!
- It's Dad's, it's not mine!
- Oh, for God's sake!
I'm gonna pound on you,
I swear to God!
Two...
World Wrestling Entertainment,
Hutch Morgan's office.
Hello, my darling. It's
Ricky Knight calling again.
- Ricky...
- Ricky Knight.
I'm calling from the World
Association of Wrestling
out of Norwich.
Where?
Norwich.
It's the mustard capital
of England.
You've heard of England,
innit ya?
You hit Greenland
and take a right.
What's this regarding, sir?
I sent Mr. Morgan
a tape of my kids...
- Zak Zodiac and Britani.
- Hello!
Yeah, well, in the ring,
I'm Britani...
and out of the ring,
I'm Saraya.
That's 'cause in the ring,
I'm Saraya.
You might've heard of me,
Sweet Saraya Knight?
You still there, love?
I am. Mr. Morgan
will contact you if necessary.
Thanks for calling WWE.
Do you know
if he watched the tape?
- She hung up!
- I don't know.
What a dick!
- Wrestling!
- Wrestling?
You wanna come to wrestling?
Wrestling tonight!
Hey! I'm wrestling tonight.
Do you wanna come
to wrestling tonight?
No.
Wrestling? No? Okay.
Excuse me. Do you wanna see
the wrestling? Live wrestling?
I'm fighting tonight.
Do you wanna come watch?
Live wrestling?
Excuse me!
Live wrestling?
Come on!
Shit!
I ain't got nothing!
Why'd you run, then?
You said I needed
to do more cardio.
That's not mine.
What's the plan, Ez, huh?
You wanna deal?
Or do you wanna wrestle?
I wanna wrestle.
Then cut this
crap out, mate,
or I'm done with you.
Okay?
Oh, don't throw that!
That's the same shit
Rihanna smokes.
Wrestling? Live wrestling?
Live wrestling!
Excuse me.
Have you ever been
to see live wrestling?
No.
Well, can I ask why not?
Because I'm not a child.
Or a moron.
You should come.
Yeah, you should see her.
She's really good.
But she's a girl.
Oh, God, is she not?
No, I am.
Is this, like, your costume?
No, this is me.
Wow.
Oh, wait, I know you.
You're from that weird family,
aren't you?
We're not weird.
Yeah, her brother
was on the news.
Didn't he do something mental?
Isn't he in jail?
You should come tonight.
It'll be really fun.
We don't like wrestling.
How do you know
if you've never been?
I've never had
rectal bleeding before,
but I'm pretty sure
I'm not a fan of that.
How about I shove her head
up your arse, and then
we can find out?
Freak!
Doors open at 7:00!
Hey, Zak.
Bring your
daughter to the slaughter
Let her go
Let her go
Let her go
Let's go, Cal! Come on!
All right, just
follow the music.
Here, come here.
Thing of beauty.
Right, Sunny, let's go.
Lock up.
Full nelson. Break.
Snapmare. Lovely stuff.
Okay. Mitchie.
Lock up. Full nelson.
Break. Snapmare.
Nice, mate, nice!
Right, Ez, come on,
let's do this.
Lock up.
Full Nelson.
Break.
Ez, have you got a stiffy?
It's not my fault!
It does what it wants!
Yeah, well, tell it not to.
- Just pretend it's not there.
- No!
All right, Ez,
50 press-ups now, mate.
What, for having a stiffy?
No, for getting turned on
by my sister.
- How desperate are you, mate?
- Oh, shut up!
Come on, let's go, let's go!
One, two...
- Till it's gone!
- Three, four, five, six...
- Another stiffy?
- Yeah!
Seven, eight, nine, ten!
Hello, love.
All right.
All right, J.
Understood.
Let me ask him, mate. Hang on.
Listen, Glen wants to know
if you'll take one of these...
in the face.
I don't know. What's it like?
Fine.
Yeah? Stings, innit?
All right.
Glen? Hello, mate.
Yeah, he'll do it.
What?
Seriously?
Hang on, Glen.
Glen wants to know if, uh...
If you'll do one of these...
In the willy.
Ricky, you kidding me, mate?
- Breathe in.
- All right.
When you release it,
- I'll pop it in.
- All right.
- Ready?
- All right.
On three.
One.
It's a unique sensation.
You all right?
- Don't touch me.
- All right.
Hang on, Glen.
- Go on. Yeah.
- Yeah?
Glen? Yeah,
he'll take a bowling ball
in the bollocks.
Ah! Sixty quid?
Glen, mate, you're killing me.
It's not gonna be worth him
making the trip for that.
I don't wanna see that, right?
I don't wanna see that.
Just a nice clean headlock,
straight into position.
Understood?
- Yes, Coach!
- Great, okay!
All right, Cal.
You getting in then, mate?
Oh, no, thanks! I just
come here for the smells.
You're a teenager
and you're blind.
What else are you gonna
do today? Listen to porn?
Calum!
Calum! Calum! Calum!
- There we go!
- Yes, Calum!
All right, seriously,
how's he gonna wrestle?
No idea.
What did we do
last night, babe?
Four hundred.
Bloody hell.
If things don't pick up soon,
I'm gonna have to go
back to thieving.
I don't care how
desperate things get,
you're not going
back to thieving.
You're not.
Zak can do it.
Raya can go on the game.
We're gonna be all right.
- One, two...
- Yeah.
...three and turn.
One, two, three and turn.
Oh, can me and Courtney
have a word?
- Yeah. Sure.
- Great.
I'm not asking us to bow
and scrape or nothing.
I'm just saying...
Courtney's parents
are a bit...
- You know, what's the word?
- Posh?
Classy!
Her dad's teetotal.
So am I.
Yeah, but he's teetotal
out of choice, Dad.
Not 'cause he's an alcoholic.
La-di-da.
You want us to make
a good impression.
- Yes.
- Yeah?
- A good impression how?
- Well, can he put a shirt on?
A shirt on?
How bloody posh are they?
That's another thing.
Courtney's dad,
he don't swear apparently.
So, let's just keep
the effing and jeffing
down to a minimum, please.
Oh, unbelievable!
Who is her dad?
The Archbishop of shitting...
Kent?
What did I just say?
Raya, help me out.
Look, he wants to make
a good impression...
because Courtney's great,
and he loves her...
and he respects her...
And he got her up the duff.
I didn't get her up the duff.
It's known as
an unplanned pregnancy.
All pregnancies
are unplanned, son.
Whatever happens tonight...
it will never be as bad
as when you went on in
King's Lynn
wearing his shorts.
Oh, yeah, your little
willy fell out.
Little?
Why would you say little?
Big enough to get
Courtney up the duff.
Ugh. That is gross.
Look, for Courtney's sake...
let's all just try
and act a little bit normal.
- All right.
- Okay.
Dad?
Yes, I will behave.
Thank you.
May I just say my husband
and I are delighted
to finally make
your acquaintance.
Absolutely, and likewise.
Courtney tells us that
you're all, uh, wrestlers.
- Yeah, whole family.
- Yup. Yes, we are.
Whole family of wrestlers.
And our half-brother, Roy.
So, what sort of people
enjoy wrestling?
That's a good question.
I mean, it's all fake
anyway, isn't it?
Come again?
It's not fake, it's fixed.
Yeah, if it was fake,
would I have broken
half the parts
of my body deaf?
His left leg bends both ways.
Well, that's nothing.
You should see his cock.
Mum.
Sorry.
Penis, you should
see his penis.
Have you got
another question or...
I can, yes.
How did you
get into wrestling?
It's quite a romantic story.
We like
romantic stories, so...
Oh, right, well,
you'll like this one.
Well, when I met Rick, I was
thinking of killing meself.
Pills.
I was homeless, abused, living
on the street, you know.
Yep.
I myself had done
eight years in prison.
Prison?
What was that for?
- Mainly violence.
- Mainly violence, yeah.
Bit of armed robbery.
You know?
Anyway, I came back
to the flat one night,
and there was, uh, guns...
money on the table,
everything.
- Sorry, there was guns and...
- Money.
- Guns and money, right.
- Yeah.
Done a job, hadn't you?
And I looked at him...
The look said, essentially...
"Ricky, turn your back
on crime.
Otherwise, I'm gonna
turn my back on you."
- And he did.
- That's what I did.
Never looked back.
Some people find
religion, but wrestling...
We found wrestling, didn't we?
It was our salvation.
We found each other and all.
Yeah.
It's a tale as old
as time itself, babe.
Hmm.
Oh.
Mum.
Not this now, please.
I'll get it.
Hello?
Can I put you
on speaker for a second?
Yeah, hang on.
- Who is it?
- I don't know.
- Go ahead.
- Am I speaking to Zak
- and Britani?
- Yeah.
My name is Hutch Morgan.
I'm calling from WWE.
We were very impressed
by your tape.
In April, we're bringing
SmackDown to the O2 in London.
And we'd like both of you to
come down and try out for us.
Hello?
They'd be
very happy to accept.
Good. And we
already have a Britani,
so just think
of an alternative name.
Yeah, sure, okay.
Thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Thank you very much, sir.
Oh, my God!
WWE!
Oh, my God!
Zak, they want us!
I told you, I told you!
It was a given.
Sorry, what is the WWE?
Say what?
He is
the greatest professional
athlete in the world today!
Austin 3:16 says
I just whipped your ass!
Turn it sideways
and stick it straight up
your candy ass!
That is extraordinary
flexibility
from that young lady.
Austin, face first...
Never seen a reaction
to anybody
like this since the Beatles!
Because
the champ is here!
For a wrestler,
it don't get bigger
than the WWE.
And to be WWE champion...
- Oh...
- It's the pinnacle. Okay?
It's something that
we have wished for
since we first
stepped in the ring.
And Zak's got it
all worked out.
We'd get a big villa
in Florida.
With a nursery,
of course.
Nice big playroom,
swimming pool.
I'll live next door,
so I can babysit whenever.
And when they come back
as Superstars,
we'll have full houses
every night.
We'll be shifting
a ton of merchandise.
You should buy shares in this.
No, seriously.
I've got the paperwork here,
if you wanna have a gander.
Dad, not now.
All right.
Do you think
you're likely to get in?
Will he get in?
I've been training this one
since before he had fur
on his bollocks.
Sorry, love, ball bag.
You should see
Raya in the ring.
She's like a beautiful
ballet dancer.
The biggest thrill I get
is when people say,
"She reminds me of you."
These tryouts,
are they very taxing?
Oh, yeah.
It's like The Hunger Games,
you know.
My other boy, Roy...
he did it a few years ago,
actually.
So he's in America now?
No, no. He's, um...
He's in prison.
When Roy didn't get signed,
he didn't take it too well.
He started drinking,
picking fights.
He threw a chunk of tarmac
at a bloke's head
and put him in a coma.
Look. Zak's not Roy.
And he's gonna make
you and Courtney
the most proud people
in the world.
I know this
'cause he's my brother.
You can trust me.
My name's Zak Zodiac.
When I was three years old...
I could name
every WWE wrestler
just by looking at his boots.
Zak Zodiac.
Every wrestler
just by looking at his boots.
When I was three years old,
I could name...
You all right?
All right. What's wrong?
I know when you're lying.
This is our shot, Zak.
I know.
But what if I screw up?
You won't.
Come on. You're gonna
smash it tomorrow.
How do you know?
Because you're a Knight.
Wrestling's in your blood.
That's not good. That makes
it sound like hepatitis.
Yeah, it is.
We're riddled with wrestling.
And there's no cure.
Okay?
Okay.
Tryouts that way?
We're here for the tryout.
- We're here for the tryouts.
- Yeah. Yeah, that way.
Great.
Sorry. We're here for
the tryouts. Tryouts that way?
- They're downstairs.
- Great. Thank you.
Whoa!
So cool.
Can you imagine it?
20,000 people
just shouting your name.
Zodiac! Zodiac! Zodiac!
Just insane.
Whoa!
- Sorry about that.
- Sorry, mate.
Dick me dead,
bury me pregnant.
That's
a good pick-up line.
- Zak Zodiac, mate.
- What's up, Zak?
What an honor
to meet you, mate.
- Oh, thanks, Zak.
- Yeah,
- yeah, Zak, Zak. Yeah.
- Cool.
- This is my sister, Saraya.
- We're huge fans.
- Thank you so much.
- Since we were kids.
Yeah, we've been fans
since you had hair.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, it's a choice.
A damn good one, too.
- Yeah, no, it looks good.
- It looks great, fantastic.
See you guys.
Rock, Rock, Rock!
Yo.
What's happening? Are you
getting back in the ring?
- You wrestling again?
- Uh, no. No, no, no.
I'm just shooting a movie
here in London...
and I'm gonna
surprise the crowd tonight.
Gonna electrify.
Don't tell anybody.
- No, no.
- No.
All right, see you guys.
- Rock, Rock, Rock!
- Hey.
We're wrestlers
as well, actually.
We're actually doing
the tryouts today.
Oh, cool.
Our whole family wrestle.
WAW, up in Norwich.
You've probably heard of it.
Uh, no.
No?
Actually,
whilst you're here...
He should come
to one of our shows!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
We could
get you tickets...
Half-price, probably.
Half-price?
I'll text Mango Pete,
get him on the list.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you need a plus-one?
Uh, that's awesome.
Thank you for the invite.
I don't think I'll be
able to make it, though.
Good luck
with your tryout. Okay.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, mate.
Rock, Rock, Rock!
Yes, Zak.
What advice would you give us?
If we wanna...
Win over the crowd.
Win over the crowd.
If we wanna...
If we wanna be the next you.
- What are your names again?
- My name is...
It doesn't matter
what your names are!
You walk around here
interrupting The Rock.
You, like you haven't seen
the sun in 20 years!
You, like you just
stepped out of Oliver Twist!
Please, sir, may I have
some more advice, sir?
You want some advice?
Here's The Rock's advice!
Shut your mouth!
What you want! What you want!
How about what The Rock wants?
The Rock wants you to go
out there, take no prisoners,
have no regrets, have no fear!
Lay it all out on the line!
Because if you
don't do that...
The Rock is gonna find
your friend Mary Poppins.
He's gonna take her umbrella.
Yeah, he's gonna
shine it up real nice.
He's gonna turn
that sumbitch sideways
and stick it straight up
your candy asses!
There's your advice!
Straight out
of the Jabroni-beating,
pie-eating, trailblazing,
eyebrow-raising...
entertaining the globe,
never hotter...
talking to two rejects
from Harry Potter!
So that's how you
win over the crowd.
Yeah.
Even though this
crazy wrestling world
is a fictionalized world...
The fans know 1,000%
if you're not being real.
All right? That guy just now,
that was The Rock.
The Rock is me.
Dwayne Johnson...
Just with the volume
turned way up,
the treble adjusted, the bass.
Same guy.
So don't worry about
being the next me.
Be the first you.
Hey! Are you two here
for the tryouts?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You can't just hang out
with The Rock.
What are you,
Make-A-Wish kids?
Let's go!
Better go.
- Thanks, mate!
- Yeah!
- Thanks, Dwayne!
- You got it!
That was The Rock!
Insane, insane.
Come on, let's go.
To be a WWE Superstar,
you have to have two things.
Number one,
you gotta have the skills
and number two,
you have to have the spark.
Now, skills,
that's obvious, right?
You gotta be able to wrestle.
The spark, well...
That's the magic dust.
It's what the audience
falls in love with.
It's why they buy your poster.
It's why they
come back every week.
It's why they chant your name.
It's why they buy
a six-inch
action figure of you.
Do you see yourself
as a six-inch action figure?
Yeah. Yes, I do.
I see myself as WWE Champion.
Ding, ding, ding!
Bingo, guys!
That's exactly right. That's
called a great attitude.
And that's a big plate of yes.
That is one of the biggest
requirements
that you have to have
to be a WWE Superstar.
And you don't have
any of the other things.
But the attitude's the one
thing you're in control over
and the attitude's the one
thing that you have.
Name.
Zak Zodiac.
Sounds a little bit like
a dancer at a male strip club.
Why do you wanna wrestle?
I wanna be a wrestler because
since I was three years old...
I could name
every single WWE wrestler
just by looking
at their boots.
And I've wanted to be
one ever since.
I'm passionate,
I'm determined...
And I'm the toughest
bastard in any room...
Including this one.
Oh, probably shouldn't swear,
not when there's
ladies present.
Sorry, miss. Sorry about that.
Miss, what's your name?
Saraya.
No, sorry, Britani.
Do you not remember your name?
No, I do. It's just
they asked me to change it.
Do you remember
what you changed it to?
- Yeah.
- Okay, that's good.
What is it?
Uh, Paige.
As a wrestling name, Paige?
Yeah.
Paige feels a little more
like she might work
at the perfume counter
at the mall...
Like, "Do you want
a free sample?"
No, Paige is the name
of a witch
from a TV show that I like.
So you liked the name off
the show and then you took it?
Yeah.
Nobody's gonna pay to watch
a timid little
British girl wrestle.
Yeah, well, not all
British girls are timid.
Just like not all Americans
are arrogant wankers.
Just saying.
Why do you wanna
wrestle, Paige?
Been wrestling since I was 13.
My whole family wrestles.
But why do you wanna wrestle?
Been wrestling since I was 13.
My whole family wrestles.
But why do you wanna wrestle?
Um...
It's an escape, isn't it?
From the real world.
And when I'm in that ring
with my family,
working together,
flowing together...
It feels like the world
just disappears.
And I sort of feel like
I belong somewhere.
She showed us her heart.
And I wanna vomit.
You, who got you dressed?
The whole thing
was your thing?
- That's your salad?
- Yeah. Yeah.
That's what you mixed up
in a bowl?
- Yeah, I like it.
- Okay.
Do you know what a push-up is?
Come on, guys.
Pace, pace, pace!
Who knew? A leopard
in sheikh's clothing.
Cupid's Arrow!
You need to play everything
out more, all right?
Sell your snaps harder, okay?
Shot, kick, bulldog.
- Ready?
- Yeah, good one.
Nice finisher.
Is that your move?
Yeah, Zak Attack.
You dick.
Give yourselves
a big hand, everybody.
That was a tremendous amount
of energy and effort...
and I want to thank
all of you for that.
It takes a lot of courage
to put yourself out there
and I respect that.
If I call your name,
please step forward.
That means you will be coming
with me to Florida,
where you will join
NXT Developmental.
At which point, we will assess
whether or not
you get to go on to the WWE.
If I do not call your name,
then this is the end
of the line for you.
Paige.
Thank you all very much.
Well done.
This isn't right.
Raya.
You have
to take my brother.
Excuse me?
No one deserves this more than
Zak. Why didn't you pick him?
99% of the people
don't get picked.
He was running rings
around those other guys!
We're not looking
for ring runners.
No, wait. You have to explain
why you didn't pick him!
I don't have
to explain anything.
I wish you the best, son.
But this is the end
of the line for you.
If he's not going,
neither am I.
- Raya, don't be stupid, okay?
- Is that a threat?
- Yes.
- No.
You know, thousands of people
apply for this opportunity
every week.
Now, I'm gonna give you
ten seconds
to let me know
that you want it.
Not without Zak.
Coach, she wants this.
Don't listen to her.
Raya, let's just leave it.
Come on!
Five.
Raya.
Four.
You're not just doing this
for you, Raya, are you?
You're doing it
for the family.
Three.
- Two.
- Yeah, okay, I want this.
See you in Florida.
Well?
They didn't take me.
But...
my little sister just became
the first 18-year-old
English girl,
to be signed by the WWE!
Champagne!
Ez, oi, go down
to the corner shop,
nick a bottle
of champagne. Go on.
This is so exciting!
- You all right?
- Oh, yeah, of course. Fine.
Well done, Raya.
Attaboy.
Suits you, that.
Remember when we made these?
Yeah, of course.
Take your bag down, yeah?
Yeah, please. Thanks.
Come on. Chop-chop.
In the van.
I'm not gonna be able
to make it to the airport.
What're you talking about?
Just got some things
I need to do.
Your sister's
going to America.
Yeah, I know.
Just can't get out of it.
It's fine. If he's busy.
All right.
Sorry, I just
got things to do.
I get it. It's cool.
All right, well then...
Good luck with it all.
Good luck with the baby.
Yeah, yeah. Cheers.
Okay.
Don't cry.
Huh?
At the airport.
You know what Mum's like.
If you're crying,
she'll start crying
and then you're not gonna
wanna go, are you?
So just put your hood up,
don't look back.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, God.
Come on.
You're all right. Be strong.
I really wish Zak
was coming with me.
Yeah, we all do, love.
Can you take care of him?
He'll be all right.
He's the tough one
of the family.
When I was living on
the streets, I didn't think...
I'd be lucky enough
to have kids.
Let alone one with the talent
to get bloody rich and famous.
You go get it, baby, okay.
You're amazing.
You're absolutely amazing.
You're gonna be a star, babe.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
- Go on.
- Don't go.
- I love you. I love you.
- Proud of you, babe.
Bye, Raya.
Love you, Ray.
Love you, babe.
I love you, princess.
We're proud
of you, darling.
Come on, babe.
Love you!
We're gonna miss you!
You're gonna be amazing.
Hey.
Hey.
- NXT?
- Uh, yeah, hi.
- Us, too. How's it going?
- Good.
I'm all right.
Long flight. Tired. Hi.
- Oh, I'm Kirsten.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Jeri-Lynn. Hi.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey, I'm Madison.
- Hi. I'm Saraya.
No, Britani. Wait, Paige.
I love your accent.
You sound
like a Nazi in a movie.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I love
that. Say something else.
Like what?
Uh, anything.
Here. Read something.
Okay.
Uh...
"The sudden fire claimed
the lives of five orphans."
I love it.
"The charred remains
of the children
could only be identified
from dental records."
- So sexy, right?
- So sexy.
I am so jealous
of you right now.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Well, this is where
we assess you...
and see whether or not
you get to go on to WWE.
Look to your left.
To your right.
Before you leave Orlando,
at least one of you
will be a stripper.
How many of you wanna be
on the WWE main roster?
Yes, Coach!
Would you like to be
WWE World Champion?
Yes, Coach!
What I'm determined
to find out is,
do you want it bad enough...
to push your ass
past what you think
you're physically capable of?
Yes, Coach!
There's two ways out.
Either I cut you,
or you ask for the horn.
Because you know
that you got yourself
in over your head.
All you gotta do is squeeze
it, makes it all stop.
- Would you like the horn?
- No, Coach!
- You.
- No, Coach.
- Anybody want the horn?
- No, Coach!
Good! Welcome to the suck.
Let's have some fun.
Go!
Set!
Keep moving, guys.
Keep moving.
Down!
Up!
Down!
Bump! And again!
- Squeeze the horn and go home!
- No, Coach!
- Squeeze the horn!
- No!
I ain't goin' back
Till the bottle runs dry
I ain't goin' back
Till the car gets high
I ain't goin' back
If I do shake your hand,
that means this is
the end of the line for you.
Thank you for your time.
I'll see the rest
of you tomorrow.
Barry's gone.
Take the wrist.
Swing under and take the head.
Good. And again. Come on.
Push, push!
Okay, dig deep!
Get on your feet.
Get on your feet.
Are we done here?
All right,
go to the locker room.
Come on, Paige.
Push it, push it up.
What if you gotta do
a belly-to-back suplex
and lift someone?
You can't lift them,
you drop them
on their head.
You'll break their neck.
You'll give me a shit-ton
of paperwork.
I hate paperwork.
I can barely write, Paige.
Push it!
Keep going! Nice, big,
long push, Courtney!
Come on! Good girl.
Come on!
A nice, long, deep push.
Good morning,
wrestling nerds.
Good morning, Coach!
Welcome to promo class.
Now, as you all know,
wrestling is storytelling.
It is soap opera in spandex.
Good versus evil.
Babyface versus heel.
We do a lot
of our storytelling
in the ring with wrestling...
but equally as important,
you must be able
to storytell on the mic.
This is an essential part
of being able
to get over with the fans.
This is your opportunity
to let them know who you are.
Tell them what you're about.
The WWE can put you
on the main roster...
but only the fans
can keep you there.
Who wants to go first?
My name is Jeri-Lynn.
And I may look like
the girl next door...
but underneath this
is a firecracker.
And I am going to blow you...
- Excuse me?
- ...out of the water!
My 10-year-old just
asked me some questions
I don't wanna answer.
- Let's put it together.
- Yeah.
- Let's keep it one.
- Of course.
My name is Augustus Heights.
- Augustus?
- Augustus Heights.
Are you a polo player?
- Uh, no.
- Are you gonna
- come out in full polo garb?
- No.
How did you come up
with Augustus Heights?
It's my name.
- Is it really?
- Yeah.
Okay, let's go again.
My name is Augustus Heights.
Are you a guy who's going
to inherit a beer company?
No.
Let's come up
with a wrestling name.
Augustus Heights
feels like a guy
who's gonna politely
ask me for some butter.
My name is Paige.
And I am all the rage.
Girls wanna be me.
Guys wanna get to know me.
May sound like bragging,
but it ain't if it's true.
It ain't about the size
of the dog in the fight...
it's about the size
of the fight in the dog.
And this dog
is about to bite hard!
I love it.
Yeah?
When I heard it 20 years ago.
Those are like lines
you could get off a Dixie cup.
Well, people liked it
in Norwich, so...
Yeah, but here
they have cable,
and running water,
and electricity...
and they would've heard
their 5-year-old brother...
use it at a dinner table.
You go out and you take that
in front of
a live crowd here...
it's like throwing a pork chop
to a bunch of hyenas.
They're gonna chew you up.
You gotta find something
that's specific to you.
Something that only
you can say.
All right, let's go. Next.
My name is Nick Barnes.
For those of you who don't
know me, let me fill you in.
Where I come from...
...you have to work hard
to get what you want.
But what I see here is a bunch
of lazy wannabe wrestlers.
- I say, do it!
- Do it? Yeah?
All right.
Go for Hutch.
Hello, Mr. Morgan?
It's Zak Zodiac calling again.
Just wanted to check up
on the tape.
We reviewed your tape,
and we were
all very impressed.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, thank you.
That means a lot. Thank you.
But the, uh,
answer is still no.
Could I speak to someone else,
please, sir?
Someone higher up maybe.
I'm afraid not.
Sir, I don't think
you understand. Um...
You see,
this is my dream, this.
I do understand.
No, no, you don't.
Look, I have a kid now, sir,
and I've made
my girlfriend promises.
We're looking
for something you don't have.
What's that, then?
Something extra.
- Something extra?
- A spark.
I have that. I've got that
in buckets, mate.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do. I do.
No, you don't.
And what? But my sister does?
Let it go, son.
Please, please don't do this.
All right. Don't do this.
Let it go.
I can't. I can't let it go
because this is all
I can do, right?
Then you'll have
to find something else.
- Goodbye.
- I...
Jesus...
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
You're supposed to pull it,
not actually kick me
in the ovaries.
I'm sorry.
Okay. Doesn't matter.
Let's go again.
Oh, my...
I'm so sorry.
- What was that?
- It was a mistake.
Yeah, no, I know wrestlers
that are paralyzed
from mistakes.
Where did you wrestle before?
I didn't.
So, what did you do?
I was a model.
Okay, um...
Right. You need to look at me
so I know when to move.
Okay.
- Oh, my God!
- Jesus!
What happened?
She slapped her.
Like a for-real slap.
No. It was a receipt.
- Looked like a slap.
- It's called a receipt.
You botch a move,
you get a receipt.
- All right, apologize.
- For what?
Receipts are important.
It teaches you not to make
the same mistake twice.
We don't give receipts here.
I said apologize.
Well, you should. They'd
pick things up a lot quicker.
When I was learning,
I got loads of receipts
from my brother.
This isn't some inbred,
backyard wrestling unit.
This is the NXT.
We don't do the receipt stuff
around here.
So, if I ask you to apologize
or do anything else,
I expect you to do it.
I was just teaching her
how to...
Paige, I just asked you
to apologize!
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
All right. Get back at it.
You okay?
Yeah.
You wanna switch up?
Yeah, yeah,
I'll switch in.
I miss
you all so much.
I just lie awake, thinking
about what you're all doing.
I haven't even met Caden yet!
You ain't missing much,
just shitting and pissing.
How's
the training, love?
It's really hard.
I mean,
it's meant to be hard.
If it was easy, any
poor bastard could do it.
What's
your competition like?
Hmm. All the other
girls are gorgeous.
Yeah, they've probably
been chosen
for their looks, unlike you.
- Thanks, Mum.
- No, I don't mean that, do I?
I just mean that WWE,
they take on models
and cheerleaders and girls
that just wanna get famous
jiggling their
tits and their ass.
They don't have girls with
wrestling experience like you.
You're gonna blow them
out of the water.
Maybe.
Ever since we
announced you'd been signed...
it has gone absolutely
mental over here.
We are selling
a ton of merchandise.
What merchandise?
Who's that?
- It's you, innit?
- You.
Who's making them?
Are you running a sweatshop?
It is not a sweatshop!
Nah, in a sweatshop,
you get paid.
All right,
no more rice for you, huh?
Hey, babe...
number one best-selling item.
Ho-ho.
Signed picture.
But who's signing them?
Who do you think? I got RSI.
Yeah, but that is
from wanking, not writing.
Wait. Guys, "Paige"
should have an "I" in it.
Should it?
Puh, ah... Ah, yeah.
Yeah. It doesn't matter.
None of our fans
can read anyway.
Listen, I had a brainwave
about the Christmassacre.
Zak Zodiac versus the WWE's...
- Paige!
- Paige!
I don't know, Dad.
I'm not sure.
You're gonna win.
The fans will love it.
What do you think, Zak?
Zak loves the idea! We sold
a lot of tickets, babe.
Wait, you sold tickets?
Without telling me?
We're telling you now.
Look at that. Look at that!
That's all you.
You should be proud.
You're doing that
for your family.
Now, imagine you get
on the main roster. Huh?
We'll make millions!
What if I don't get
on the main roster?
What? Don't talk
like that, darling.
Look, you just work hard,
yeah? Keep focused.
We're all proud of you.
We believe in you.
Yeah. Bye, babe.
- Love you, Raya! We love you!
- Bye.
Bye! Love you!
He's not
the smartest cookie.
Yeah, he's been dropped
on his head too many times.
Hey!
I just wanted
to explain the receipt.
I got a bit nervous,
because Kirsten...
up until a few months ago,
she was just a model.
Sometimes,
WWE, they hire girls...
who just wanna
jiggle their tits and ass
and get famous, basically.
Like cheerleaders, models,
dancers, whatever.
I was a model.
Ah, right.
Cheerleader.
Cool.
Well, at least you're
not dancers.
I'm...
See you later!
Ladies and gentlemen...
...we are NXT!
And the future is now!
Introducing
to the WWE Universe
for the very first time...
Madison!
Please welcome Jeri-Lynn!
Welcome Kirsten!
I love you, Kirsten!
All the way from the UK...
Paige!
Yeah, this is
what I paid for,
three hot chicks
and my dead grandmother.
Look on the bright side.
At least
she's not in a bikini.
And now it's time for the WWE
Divas Promo Challenge!
My name is Kirsten.
And I'm the future of NXT.
And the future looks good!
But what can I say
about Paige?
Where's your black cat?
I could say, I'm gonna
rearrange your teeth.
Ooh!
But you're British,
I'd be doing you a favor!
Now, the world
can be a very dark place.
That's why people
want sunshine and glamour.
Which is why I'm gonna stick
your broomstick up your butt
and fly you home to Hogwarts!
What you got?
Come on, Ozzy Osbourne!
Sing something!
Speak! The power
of Christ compels you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
We can't hear you!
You just suck!
Freak!
Yeah, gonna have to
get used to it, though.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.
Hey, you okay?
Mmm-hmm.
Jesus Christ, Zak!
Hello! You've reached Zak.
Please leave a message.
Zak's here, Zak's here!
Y'all, let's go, let's go.
All right, let's go.
Come on! Let's do this!
What's going on?
Why'd he just leave like that?
Dude?
Guys, we're not wrestling.
I take it
we're not wrestling today.
Yeah.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Hey!
You're blonde!
Yeah.
Thought I'd
change it up a bit.
Who did it?
I did it myself.
- Really?
- Last night, yeah.
- Right on.
- Nice!
And you're so tan!
I did that myself, too.
- Looks so natural.
- Nice!
It's good to change it up.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes, I wanna do that.
Did someone break up with you?
No.
Whatever.
Well, should we load up?
Yeah!
Yeah, we'll go get a seat.
This is our last day
before the holiday!
I'm not gonna have
your asses for a week!
So, please, show me
that you wanna be here!
Fight for it!
Come on!
Get her out of the ring!
Let me see
how bad you want it!
Next group up!
Don't be shy with those!
You wanna headline
WrestleMania.
You wanna be Divas Champion,
then show me!
All right, come on, ladies!
Here we go! Look who got
a makeover to come in last!
Come on! You look
like a snow leopard!
Thank God for
the camouflage pants
so the hunters can't see you
in the sand!
Flip the tire three times!
Three times!
Come on, English, let's go!
That's two. Come on.
How're you gonna flip a girl
five nights
a week in a ring...
if you can't even flip
a vulcanized rubber circle?
Oh, shit! I can't!
I can't...
Put yourself
out of your misery.
Next group up!
Bar's been lowered!
I don't even know
if I wanna be here anymore.
Talk about me again
behind my back...
and I swear I'll give you
more than a receipt.
I wasn't talking about you.
You are so fake.
- No one was talking about you.
- Oh, my God.
- I saw you!
- We weren't talking about you!
What, do you think I'm stupid?
I've been sat right there
just watching you!
We're talking about her.
Who is she?
My daughter...
who I haven't seen in four
months because I'm here...
putting up with your shit,
so she can have a better life.
I didn't know
you had a daughter.
No, you don't know
anything about me.
Or them, or about our lives,
or why we're here.
Well, you never told me.
You never asked.
Why would you?
We're just
tits and ass, right?
Well,
the girls took a vote.
You're the homecoming queen.
Thanks.
How do you think
this ends for you?
On the main roster.
Divas Champion.
You realize that today
was about proving
that you deserve that.
Right?
I'll start proving myself
when you put me
with real wrestlers.
Wrestlers like my brother.
Your brother's a journeyman.
- No.
- Yes.
- No!
- There are stars...
and there's journeymen
who take the hits...
that make the stars look good.
And your brother's
a journeyman.
He's the punching bag.
He's the guy with the bad
shorts with no fanfare.
No, you bring him here...
I bring him out here
and then what?
We put him on the road
for 200 days a year?
He's chasing fame that's
never gonna come to him?
His wife starts screwing
the garbage man
'cause he's never around?
His kid can't remember
his face, and for what?
Maybe he'd get a shot
at a pay-per-view event.
And he would try so hard
to make an impression...
he'd probably let
a real star...
throw him off a 30-foot cage
onto a concrete floor.
Have his shoulder bone...
just kinda splice right
through his rotator cuff...
tear it clean in half.
And then the doctor would say,
"That's it. Your
wrestling career is over."
But why quit then?
He wouldn't stop.
So then the wife would
leave him and take the kid.
And then, he would just keep
chasing the pipe dream...
until he'd end up
4,000 miles away
from anyone
that ever loved him.
He'd be bitter,
and he'd be mean.
And he'd be all by himself...
just wishing that, God,
he could get his kid
to return his phone call.
Is that the life that you want
for your brother?
No, I know that
wouldn't happen to Zak.
I didn't think
that would happen to me.
We didn't sign your brother.
And we shouldn't
have signed you.
You're weak in your body...
and your spirit's weak.
You think it's tough now.
This is only gonna get harder.
You should go home.
Wrestle with your family
and be happy.
That's how this ends for ya.
It's gonna be
four grand up, love.
There's a big buzz about
the Christmassacre, you know.
I'm thinking
that I might have to do
maybe two nights, babe,
if you can hang around.
Bloody hell!
Look at that tan!
Willy Wonka called, he needs
you back at the factory.
Hi, Mum.
Come here, baby!
- Who made you do all that?
- Huh?
- All of that.
- No one.
- It's America, it's different.
- Right.
Anyway, how's Caden?
How's Courtney?
- Caden's beautiful, yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- And how's Zak?
- Yeah, no, Zak's good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, he's good.
- Okay.
Hey!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You all right?
- How you doing?
Yeah, good, yeah, good.
How are you?
Yeah, well...
I tried calling you
loads of times, but...
Yeah, my phone's
probably been off. Caden...
Been working a ton.
Oh, okay.
How is the States?
Uh...
Yeah, I've been wanting
to talk to you
about that, actually.
Um...
I'm not gonna go back.
It's harder than we ever
thought it would be.
And I... I can't do it.
I was hoping you could help me
tell Mum and Dad
about it later.
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- Ho, ho, ho!
Thanks.
Please welcome...
the reigning WAW Champion...
the unstoppable,
the untamable...
Zak Zodiac!
And for one night only,
in the flesh...
the next great star
of the WWE...
All the way from America...
Your homecoming queen,
and my baby girl!
Paige!
- Yeah, Paige!
- We love you, Paige!
All right. Let's go.
Bit of back and forth.
You get the better of her.
Last minute,
you smash him up. Yeah?
- Good, let's go. Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
You ready? Ring the bell!
- Come on, baby girl!
- Come on, Paige!
Come on, girl!
Yeah.
Zak, come on.
- Zak!
- Get out, Zak!
What's he doing?
What?
- Zak!
- Zak!
Hey!
Go easy, would you?
You're going too hard.
No, no, no! Zak, no! Don't!
- Ref, get involved!
- I'm warning ya!
- She's fine, she's fine!
- Ease up on her.
Come on, Raya, get up!
Daddy, I don't know
what he's doing.
Big smile, Raya. Big smiles.
Yeah!
- One!
- Yes!
- Two!
- Three!
- No! Two!
- No, three!
- That was two.
- Get up, Paige!
- Zak, get off me!
- No, no, no!
Let me down, Zak!
- Don't you dare!
- No!
Zak! No!
- One!
- Zak!
- Two!
- Let me up!
Three!
- Shut up!
- Raya, you all right?
What was that?
Slam me three times!
Is that a joke?
- Zak?
- Oi, dickhead!
You could've broken her neck!
She was in the ring, too.
She's a big girl.
Give her shit.
She does what she's told!
She follows the script!
Does she?
Shut up, Zak.
Well, you wanted my help
telling them.
- Let's tell 'em.
- No, shut up!
- What is going on?
- Nothing. It's fine.
Look, babe.
- You ain't pregnant, are ya?
- No, I'm not pregnant, Dad.
- I will hit the roof.
- No, I'm not pregnant!
- It's fine.
- She's quitting.
- What?
- You prick.
You're welcome.
Wait.
You what?
Raya, I'm confused.
Is he... Is he joking?
No, I can't do it.
Of course, you can do it.
No, I wake up...
I work out, I train...
I come home, I can't sleep.
And then we do it
all again the next day.
I'm really lonely
and I have no friends.
Yeah, life of a wrestler.
Get a cat!
No, Dad, I don't wanna be
4,000 miles away.
I wanna be here,
I wanna be with my family.
You're doing this
for your family!
Yeah, I thought
Zak would be there.
Well, he ain't there!
He bollocksed it up!
So did Roy!
I'm not letting you
bollocks it up and all!
I'm not going back!
You are going back
to the States,
if I have to
drag you there myself!
You're an alchie ex-con, Dad!
They're not gonna let you in!
- Oi, you watch your mouth!
- You... Stay!
Raya.
Raya, wait. Come here.
I know it's hard, okay? I do.
But you cannot give this
opportunity up. It's massive.
You're gonna regret it.
And it's what you've
always wanted.
Yeah? Or is it
what you've always wanted?
What do you mean?
Mum.
You named me
after your own ring name.
Go away.
Ray, Courtney rang.
Your brother's not come home.
If you don't wanna go back
to America,
we're not gonna make you.
Shut up!
Has everyone gone mad?
If she gets on the main
roster, she is set for life.
- She is, or you are?
- All of us!
Jesus Christ!
You want me to go back
to robbing banks
- to feed this family?
- What family?
Our daughter's miserable,
one son's in prison,
the other one's hanging on
by a thread.
Zak is fine!
Would you get your thick head
out of your fat ass?
He's not fine!
We're out looking for Zak!
If you have to go back
to robbing banks
to feed this family, so be it.
'Cause at this rate, we ain't
gonna have one to feed.
Dad?
- What, babe?
- Dad, that's Zak's car.
That's his car, right there.
I ain't joking.
These builders...
they said they're gonna
take about a month.
How long they been there?
Come on, how long?
Six, seven weeks.
Every week,
they boost the prices, though.
They need this,
they need that.
A little bit of extra dough
for this...
Hey!
Oi!
What're you doing, mate?
What?
You just stuck your elbow out.
No, I didn't.
You calling me a liar?
No, I'm calling you a wanker.
I didn't hear that.
Then you're a deaf wanker
as well.
Come on, then!
Let's get him!
Come on, then!
Come on! Come on, then!
Come on!
Come on!
Hey!
That is enough! Let's go.
It's done.
That's Ricky Knight.
Silly sod!
Yeah, that's enough.
It is enough!
Zak!
Mum, it's fine.
We've got it. It's fine.
Silly bugger,
what're you doing? Come here!
Where you going?
Zak!
Yeah, you're right.
He's fine.
Jules.
Oi, come here.
Can we just talk
for a second, please?
Zak, why won't you talk to me?
'Cause I can't even look
at you.
Why?
Why? Why?
Okay, do you actually know
what it's like, Raya,
to want one thing in life?
One dream that you think about
every single day...
you work for,
and you train for,
and you get
that close to it...
and then your own sister
takes it away from you.
And then it turns out
she doesn't even want it
in the first place.
That's why.
I didn't take your dream, Zak.
No, then why am I still here?
Because they didn't want you!
I'm sorry,
and it is so shitty,
but it is not my fault.
And it's not yours.
It is just how it is.
Right.
Yeah. So you can either
curl up into a ball and die...
or you can live with it
and move on...
and start seeing all
the things you've got here.
What have I got here?
A beautiful son,
a girlfriend that loves you.
All those kids at the gym.
Zak, you're teaching
a blind kid how to wrestle.
How is that even possible?
Just 'cause millions of people
aren't cheering
when you do it...
it doesn't mean
it's not important.
I didn't take your dream, Zak.
It was my dream, too.
Then why are you
throwing it away?
Hey.
Can I come in?
Your mum is right.
If you don't
wanna go back, don't.
You don't have to do anything
that me or Mum or anyone
want you to do...
unless you wanna do it.
You are
the spark in our lives...
no matter what you do
with yours.
Come here.
What have you done
with this hair?
I don't know.
It's like kissing an afghan.
Can I help you with something?
You didn't cut me
and I didn't quit.
I have a showcase
in six weeks.
I don't have time
for any drama.
I know.
Are you sure
you wanna be here?
Yes.
Then you better
prove it to me.
Yes, Coach.
Let's move!
One.
Two.
Can I join?
Come on!
Look at them, look at me, go,
land at the same time, go!
I'm sorry.
Come on,
you're not a wrestler.
Squeeze the horn and go home.
Come on, you came to Florida,
you got a nice tan...
now it's over. Squeeze it.
Squeeze it.
Don't you dare.
Squeeze his horn and I will
give you such a receipt.
Horn's right here.
Just one squeeze.
Don't you touch
his dirty horn.
Come on, Jeri,
let's go!
- You can squeeze it.
- You can do it!
- You got nothing in the tank.
- Come on, Jeri! You got it!
Take the horn.
Take the horn.
Stop, take it!
Take it. Take it.
Come on! Bring it in!
Take my wrists.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like this?
This is your time.
Okay! Yeah.
You're not the girl
I paid for.
I know. The girl you paid for
is tied up in your basement.
- You suck!
- Yeah, but you swallow.
Eat me!
No, thanks.
I'm trying to bulk up.
Them, me, go.
Whoa, Madison, hey.
All right, just lose
the suicide dive,
you're not gonna get it.
No, we will. I swear.
We'll get it.
You have to go for it.
Tag!
Let's go, in the ring.
You got it, Kirsten.
One...
- Two!
- Whoo!
- Tag me!
- Tag!
Yeah!
Come on, get out!
Come on! In the ring!
No, no, no!
Madison!
Unfortunately, we're
at that moment again.
Thank you for your time.
- Appreciate it.
- Thanks, Coach.
For the rest of you,
as a reward
for making it this far...
I'm gonna take you to
a quiet, romantic, little spot
I like to call WrestleMania.
What?
Yes!
Keep your focus.
There's still a lot of stuff
to do ahead of us.
But we're gonna get to go out
and have some fun, okay?
Go home and get some
rest, guys. Thank you.
All good?
- All right?
- All right, love?
- My big boy. Yeah.
- You all right?
Oh, my God.
That's Divas Champion.
That's Divas Champion.
Oh, my God!
No.
Hamburgers.
It's free food!
You know
I'm an emotional eater.
You're enabling me now.
This is gonna make me
gain weight.
You can burn it off
in the ring. That's great.
- I can't burn it off.
- Hi, guys.
Eat as much as you want.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I'm a massive fan.
- Cool.
- Thanks. Thanks.
Just gonna...
It's free, right? Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's free.
Yeah.
You wanna leave some
for the rest of us there?
- Yeah.
- Come with me.
Have a good match, boys.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
Bye.
If she can eat it,
you can eat it...
- Don't eat a hot dog.
- Here.
No, I don't...
Do you know
what's in a hot dog?
Is that The Miz?
Hey, Coach.
Where are you going?
I have no idea. I don't know.
- What's happening?
- Where is she going?
I'm sorry, I thought
the hot dogs were free.
Please.
The following is
the Divas Championship
Invitational.
The first diva
to score a pinfall...
or submission
will be declared the winner...
Hey.
Hey.
How're you doing?
Yeah. Good. You?
Did you bring it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I brought it.
Paige, when's the last time
you spoke to your family?
Couple of weeks ago.
Well, I think
we should call 'em.
You wanna
call my family?
I would like to call
your family.
So what's their number?
Am I in trouble?
The Black Widow is in.
Come on!
And she taps out!
Here's your winner, AJ Lee!
Sit. Stay there.
AJ Lee continues
her historic reign
as Divas Champion.
The longest of all time.
Which prick is calling me
during WrestleMania?
It's, uh...
It's Dwayne Johnson.
Yeah,
and I'm Vin Diesel, mate.
Well, let's hope not.
No, it is, Mr. Knight,
it's Dwayne Johnson.
How are you?
Prove it.
Uh, okay.
If you smell...
what The Rock...
is cooking.
Yeah? Bullshit.
I'm sorry.
What?
Dad! It's actually him.
- You what?
- Yeah, it's actually him.
Hold the line one second.
- It's Saraya and The Rock.
- Yeah, right.
I got you
on speakerphone, sir.
Hey, yeah.
It's Dwayne Johnson.
I'm here
with your daughter now,
and, uh, I first met her
in London.
And I've been
keeping tabs on her...
and I just heard some news
that I wanted
to share with her...
and I thought you guys should
hear it too at the same time.
- Right.
- What news?
Paige's time
with the NXT is over.
Oh.
- Oh.
- Okay.
Because tomorrow night...
she'll make her debut
live on RAW
and she will be fighting
AJ Lee for the Divas title.
Wait, what?
Dick me dead,
bury me pregnant.
There it is again.
You don't know what this means
to us, Mr. Rock.
Actually, uh...
I know exactly what it means
to you, ma'am.
I myself have come from
a wrestling family, too...
and I wanted
to share this news
with you guys
just so you could enjoy it...
and also just so Paige can
prepare herself mentally to go
out there tomorrow night...
and win over the crowd.
Because
if you don't do that...
then they're gonna find
somebody else who will.
And then
this whole opportunity
will be gone by next week.
She's not gonna
let you down, Mr. Rock.
I'll promise ya.
She's gonna smash it.
- She'll kill it.
- Proud of you, Ray.
I love you, princess.
We're all with you, darling.
You're amazing, baby.
I love you, Rock.
Rock?
I... I love you, too.
It's The Rock! Huh?
Good luck tomorrow, Paige.
Yeah. Um, thanks
for picking me.
Nah, I didn't pick you,
I just work here.
You know him?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know that guy.
We once had a crazy match
where he threw himself...
off the top
of a 30-foot steel cage...
just to make me look good.
I'll see you later, Sex Tape.
Why'd you call him "Sex Tape"?
Oh, because he makes
people famous.
Good luck tomorrow.
Who'd a thought it, eh?
Our little sister's gone
from here...
to WWE.
You would've too, Roy,
if they'd given you
the chance.
No.
No, she has something
I never had.
What's that?
You.
Ez!
Get in the van, mate.
Come on, mate.
You're late for training.
Piss off, dickhead!
I would do, sweetheart,
but he's already paid
for the lessons.
And by Christ, he needs 'em.
Ez.
Please.
Ez.
Ez!
- All right?
- Yeah.
He looks lovely.
Smash it!
Out of the way!
I got a hammer on a pole!
Come on! Oh, watch it!
- Zak's back!
- Get in the van! Come on!
Leave that there!
Christ!
Please don't tell me
you're deaf as well, now!
Strong into the ropes.
Strong.
That's it!
All right. Find the ropes.
Ez, let him know you're there.
All right, don't be scared.
Stand tall, mate.
Nice one! Well done!
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
We know how to do it
And we do it real well
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
Go back to zero,
take a pill and get well
Born to raise hell
Born to raise hell
Be a good soldier
and die where you fell
Oh... Stop
John Cena!
And what an incredible
scene tonight!
15,000 WWE fans! Sold out!
Paige, you're up!
Uh...
- Hang on a minute!
- This is it! Let's go!
Yeah, I know.
I said just hang on a second.
Hold on for what?
This is live TV!
Well, you got a face
like a bulldog
licking piss off a thistle.
Zak, I can't do this.
What're you talking about?
I'm gonna choke,
I'm gonna screw up.
I'm gonna botch a move. I...
I won't go over
with the crowd.
Paige!
Come on! Let's go!
Zak, I have no idea who
I'm supposed to be out there.
Do what The Rock said.
Be the first you.
Oh, bollocks to The Rock!
That's not advice, Zak,
that's a tweet!
He's not some weirdo freak
from Norwich, is he?
No, but that is who you are.
Who else you gonna be?
Come on. If you can't
do this, no one can.
You're a Knight.
Wrestling's in your blood.
Like hepatitis?
A, B, and C.
Riddled.
And you got something else.
Something that I don't have.
Yeah? Like what?
That extra something.
Yeah, you don't know that.
I've always known that.
Why do you think I've been
acting like such a prick?
And listen to me, right?
No matter what happens
when you go out there...
it will never be as bad
as that time in King's Lynn...
when I went on
wearing Dad's shorts.
When your penis fell out!
When my penis fell out.
Everyone was laughing at it.
Everyone wasn't
laughing at it.
People were laughing
at the situation.
Why did you even stay
in the ring?
Because I'm
a bloody professional.
And so are you, right?
That's what I'm saying.
So, have you got
your own shorts on tonight?
Yes. My penis won't fall out.
Then get out there.
All right?
Thank you.
It's what I'm here for.
Now, go and win over
that crowd.
I wanna hear 'em
chanting your name.
Okay.
Paige!
Come on, we're gonna be late.
Where were you? Jesus.
The Divas Champion, AJ Lee!
Well, guys,
today marks day number 295...
in the historic
Divas Championship reign
of AJ!
Last night, she outlasted
13 other Divas...
to retain the title
at WrestleMania.
And, guys, I still
don't know how she did it.
She keeps
finding ways to win.
She on yet?
For 295 days...
I have been
your Divas Champion!
The longest reigning
Divas Champion...
of all time!
Well, this right here is
a very
interesting development.
But that young lady...
...is Paige.
- She's from Norwitch, England.
- Norwich!
And she comes to us
from NXT.
Certainly different.
And this is a huge
opportunity for Paige
to impress
this crowd here tonight.
AJ doesn't look
too happy to see Paige.
A capacity crowd
in New Orleans...
millions watching
around the world...
under the bright lights
of Monday Night RAW.
I'm sorry,
is it Halloween already?
Who the hell are you?
Well, you can understand
Paige being...
She's frozen.
- ...a bit hesitant here.
- Come on, darling.
But these WWE fans
will turn on her quick.
Do something!
Tell you what.
Why don't I do to you
what I did
to every single Diva
last night?
I think we should have
a match right now.
And as a special
post- WrestleMania treat...
I will put my title
on the line.
Paige isn't ready.
I mean...
Paige came from a
wrestling family in England...
but she... Oh!
She wasn't ready
for a match tonight.
Come on, Ray. Get up.
Paige needs to do
something here...
or she's gonna
let this opportunity
slip through her fingers.
This is my house, freak!
- Yes!
- Come on!
Yes!
Yeah!
Suck on that, bitch!
Mmm-hmm.
Sorry.
And this could be
Paige's moment!
She's heading up
to the top rope right there!
AJ Lee has turned
this match around!
This doesn't end well.
Top rope,
AJ on the top rope.
AJ takin' out Paige!
Oh, man. Wow!
I don't think Paige knows
where she's at.
And now,
the Divas Champion
crawling toward Paige,
hooks the leg!
- One! Two!
- And it's over!
Oh, a kick-out!
Last moment kick-out by Paige!
Hair!
And this has just
angered AJ!
AJ with a kick
to the midsection.
It's the Black Widow!
The submission move...
that's taken out
so many Divas!
Paige is trying
to hang on here...
but she's gotta tap out!
She's gonna get seriously hurt
if she doesn't tap here!
Paige has gotta tap out!
One! Two! Three!
Now, the winner
of this match...
and new Divas Champion...
Paige!
This is unbelievable,
guys! You gotta watch...
what happens here
at the end of this thing!
Watch Paige
with a Paige Turner!
That's the Zak Attack!
She stole your move!
She didn't steal it,
I gave it to her!
I am a freak!
From Norwich, England!
And I have dreamt of this...
since I was 13 years old!
And it's not just mine,
it belongs to my family!
It belongs to anyone
who ever felt
like they are the freak
from Norwich...
the oddballs, the outsiders...
the ones that don't belong!
My name is Paige.
And this is my house now!
- Yes!
- That's right! That's right!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige!
- Look, the big man's crying!
- Sod off!
Look at him.
I'm not crying,
I'm allergic to the dog.
- Oh, my God!
- Go, Paige!
Oh, my God!
That was incredible.
Oh, my God!
That was amazing!
- You were amazing. You did it!
- You were incredible!
Yeah!
What an
incredible moment!
She wasn't even ready
to be in the WWE...
and Paige is gonna
leave here tonight...
the new Divas Champion!
That youth title should be
around my waist, or trophy,
'cause I'm gonna
kick your ass!
And that's the bottom line,
'cause Zodiac don't care.
My first match,
I was knocked out
in about five minutes,
if that.
I started growing up
watching it,
and I was just like,
"Ugh! It's really boring!"
Zak would get in the ring
and throw me
about and stuff like that.
So, I always knew, like,
a couple of moves and stuff.
Dad was short
on a show one day
when I was 13 years old.
So, yeah, I had to fill in
for that one slot,
and I've been hooked
ever since.
I'd done eight years in prison
before I was 25.
- Mainly violence.
- Mainly violence.
She was a young lady
at the time,
was contemplating suicide...
was going nowhere in life.
Some people find religion.
Well, me and Julie
found wrestling.
That, to me,
is proper salvation.
What? What?
We are a family of wrestlers.
We make no apologies for that.
This is what we do,
this is what we love.
This is our passion.
This is gonna be our legacy
when I pop me clogs.
This is what it's all about.
I love you. I love you.
The rowdy man
that's crying his eyes out.
Paige Turner,
she did it!
Paige did it!