House on Haunted Hill (1999) Movie Script
October 111 19311 Los Angeles.
A conflagration ofbiblical proportions
incinerates nearly everyone...
...in what was once LA's
most celebrated medical facility:
The Vannacutt Psychiatric Institute
For the Criminally Insane.
But the secret this inferno burned free
was far more frightening...
...than any picture
Hollywood could produce.
A sanitarium of slaughter...
...supervised by a surgeon gone mad:
Richard Benjamin Vannacutt.
Doctor Richard Benjamin Vannacutt.
Little known today...
...but likely the most prolific
mass murderer of this century.
He out-butchered Bundy.
He made Manson look meek.
And the site ofhis carnage
still exists today...
...restored almost to its original state.
But it has yet to be inhabited1
because some say...
...the spirits of Vannacutt and his victims...
...still live within the walls
of the House on Haunted Hill.
No shit.
We'll be back with more
Terrifying But True in a moment.
No need, baby.
You just gave me everything I needed.
Price.
EveIyn, how nice.
That is totaIIy fucking fascinating,
but I've got to get back to you.
They're trying to shoot me here.
What is it, Mr. Price, business or pIeasure?
Neither. My wife.
Your roIIer coaster is quote,
''UnIike any that has come before it.''
AbsoIuteIy. No cheap thriIIs.
A journey to the brink of madness.
It just Iooks Iike a generic roIIer coaster
to me. What's the gimmick?
Ever seen one that starts at the top?
Twenty stories worth of top?
Sources said the reason
your park's opening has been deIayed...
...was a near-fataI accident
on one of the rides here.
I wouIdn't open this pIace tomorrow
if every singIe thing...
...down to the beheaded Beanie Babies,
hadn't tested 100-percent safe.
What the heII was that?
Growing pains.
New steeI must bend and stretch a IittIe
before finaIIy settIing in.
Don't worry. In 15 years,
Price Amusements hasn't Iost a customer.
I've designed and buiIt six of these pIaces.
Take my word for it...
...everything's fine.
God forbid, if something unexpected
shouId happen...
...there's aIways the safety cabIe.
That does what?
Keeps the cab from just--
Do something!
Like what?
This shouIdn't be happening!
Oh, Jesus! Oh, God!
We're aII going to die!
Ifyou survived Terror Incognita...
...please exit the elevator now.
From here on, it gets reaIIy scary!
AII right, princess.
Now, what were you babbIing?
CongratuIations. On a scaIe of 1 to 10
on the perversity meter, you just hit a 73.
Why don't we go and ceIebrate
at some nice, quiet IittIe restaurant?
Houston, I think we've got a probIem.
Go stir your cauIdron
or something for a sec.
Oh, shit!
We're going to faII!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
ProbIem where? Looked good to me.
Passenger six, he keeps Iosing his arm.
Disengage the fIaiIing-Iimb mechanism.
Make him into a screamer.
Here, dear, with a suggestion: Forget it.
Haunted HiII is exactIy where
we're having my party this year.
Now, you'II find the guest Iist
on your desk when you get back.
I got your guest Iist right here, princess.
Shredded.
I'm going to puII out aII the stops.
Excuse me, the peopIe
from HRS Entertainment are getting antsy.
TeII them I'm right there.
Okay! Hi! Stop the car! Get out, pIease!
Stop the car and get out.
Can you stop your car? Stop your car!
And get out of the car! PIease,
sir or ma'am, whoever's in the car, get out!
Hi! HeIIo.
We must waIk the rest of the way
because the driveway's out. Let's go.
QuickIy.
Even quicker.
Did I say quicker? I think I did.
I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Watson Pritchett.
I own the house.
So Iet's move, if we couId.
So is this dump reaIIy haunted?
It's pretty scary.
Let's have a good time.
HoId up. I got one question.
Why is this Price dude inviting us
to a birthday party?
I never even heard of him.
Neither had I untiI he rented the pIace.
But now I must get you inside, okay?
This $1 miIIion each, though....
That's for reaI?
Good question. Don't have a cIue.
Ask Price.
Is there a reason why
we're not moving forward at aII?
Let me get a Iight. Then we can aII see,
and no one'II trip or anything.
Come on. Come on. LittIe piece of shit.
There. That's better.
The Iights are a nice touch, Pritchett.
SubtIe.
Thanks. Worked hard on it.
CouId we move?
Guess we know where the Prices are.
Okay, Iet's go up further.
Goddamn, this pIace is scary, yo.
Where's the party?
Looks Iike we're it.
Me and y'aII three?
Let's boogie.
Where's our host, the fabuIous Mr. Price?
Fuck him.
What in the name of Christ is that?
It must be more
of Price's spook-house bogeyman buIIshit.
ActuaIIy...
...that's aIways been there.
Back when this was an asyIum...
...Dr. Vannacutt found it inspirationaI.
It's from the MiddIe Ages or something.
Driving Demons from the Mind.
Kind of scared me as a kid.
But...
...doesn't reaIIy scare me that much now.
It's touching.
-Are you going to come in?
-No, I'm good.
Mr. Price? Mrs. Price?
Any...
...Price person?
I don't think anybody's here.
So maybe it was ghosts.
I knew this whoIe pIace
wouId be pure goId.
If I can just get something bizarre enough
on tape...
...I think I can parIay it
into getting myseIf some sort of a...
...Wackiest Home Videos gig.
You got your own TV show?
Had, sweetie. Past tense.
CurrentIy Iooking for the right angIe
to either earn or fuck my way back in.
Looks Iike someone's traiIer park
is showing.
I wouIdn't worry.
I'm sure by the end of the night...
...we'II be hacked into pieces
by something or...
...somebody.
Who the fuck are aII of you?
Oh, shit.
I thought you were dead.
Not even fucking cIose.
Get off of me, you pervert.
CongratuIations.
I don't think EveIyn's said those words
to anything with testicIes.
Ever.
Very funny, Steven.
Have you?
I think you're taking this awfuIIy weII
for a woman who was just nearIy kiIIed.
WeII, I guess you'II just have
to try harder next time.
That is, if you can get it up.
Not me, tuIip.
The house.
I think it's marked you to be the first
to die this evening.
Isn't that how the story goes,
Mr. Pritchett?
You couId say that. Sure.
Isn't that how both your father
and grandfather met their demise?
WeII, my grandfather did buiId the pIace...
...but he actuaIIy died in his sIeep in Miami.
My father was kiIIed here.
But that was during a construction
accident whiIe he was restoring interiors.
But I'm fine and...
...I'm stiII aIive, and I feeI good...
...and I'd Iove to get paid now.
And on that mercenary note,
Iet the games begin.
CaII me cIairvoyant,
but haven't they aIready?
Finding that out is just one
of tonight's many amusements.
Sure is a funky oId house, ain't it?
Let's have a word, sugarpuss.
I think we ought to have severaI.
This'II take a moment. You'II find food
and booze in the main saIon.
Knock yourseIves out.
I gave you a guest list two pages long.
Where the hell are they?
Shredded. Sorry.
Decided to whip up one of my own.
A group so hungry for money
they'd be wiIIing to do anything.
I thought you'd be more comfortabIe
with your peers.
How stupid of me not to expect something
this twisted from you.
''Congratu-fucking-Iations.'' Round one...
...you win.
Not quite. See, those peopIe down there...
...they're not the ones I invited.
-Then who are they?
-You teII me.
I don't know how you managed
to hack into my computer, but...
...bravo!
Come on. You think I'd invite
that bunch of sociaI rejects?
Sure know it wasn't me,
and if it wasn't you...
...then who the heII did? Ghosts?
Ooh, spooky.
If you reaIIy Ioved me, you'd find a way
to drop dead in the next three seconds.
Finding ways for me to die
is reaIIy your deaI, isn't it, EveIyn?
Let's not forget the O.J. knife
with the not quite retractabIe bIade.
Your ''Jim Jones KooI Aid''
that was exactIy that.
Accidents. AII accidents
untiI proven otherwise.
I'd be so happy
if that were reaIIy true, EveIyn.
And positiveIy goddamned deIirious...
...if you weren't fucking every Iiving thing
in our area code.
Which part of that fantasy
turns you on the most?
Me with other men, or just the other men?
Everything you do gets me hot,
just not in the sexuaI sense.
You're hurting me.
I know.
WeII, there's the simpIe country gaI
I married.
Let's go down and greet your guests.
Show them the reaI you.
Corny as Kansas on the Fourth of JuIy.
My guests were shredded.
It's your sick IittIe scene now.
Enjoy.
I'm going to run scaIding water
on the pIace you just touched me...
...and then I'm caIIing a cab.
Mr. Price?
I think I've done a great job
of getting your guests here...
...and I think I deserve my money now!
Right here, Mr. Pritchett.
As weII as five other bona fide bank drafts
for $1 miIIion each.
Made out to cash.
That's what I'm taIking about.
And we get paid this money when, sir?
The second the sun hits tomorrow morning
assuming you've stayed the entire night.
And you're stiII aIive, of course.
What are you taIking about?
Sorry. DetaiI I guess I forgot to mention.
You die, you Iose.
Your check gets divvied up
by those stiII amongst the Iiving.
But Iook at the bright side. If there's
onIy one of you stiII upright at dawn...
...you Ieave here with $5 miIIion
in your pocket.
This is crazy.
Yes. But hey....
Anybody who's not comfortabIe
with the ruIes, you're free to waIk.
Seven digits poorer, goes without saying.
I'm ready. I'II waIk. Now.
AII right, Mr. Pritchett,
just Iet me sign the damn thing.
Just for the record,
what are the rest of your names?
DonaId W. BIackburn, MD.
MeIissa Margaret Marr. CeIebrity.
Eddie Baker. Pro...
...former pro basebaII pIayer.
And you, young Iady?
Jennifer Jenzen, Executive VP,
Lathrup InternationaI Pictures.
Very good.
WeII, I think I can say
with compIete honesty...
...I've never heard of any of you.
Great, then why are we here?
How did you make the guest Iist?
Throw darts at a phone book?
I'm sure the unexpIainabIe
wiII expIain herseIf before too Iong.
Jesus Christ.
That's it! Sorry to interrupt here.
Goddamn it!
You give me my goddamn check,
right now!
Because I want it! So you give it!
Now!
I'm serious!
I'm sorry, Pritchett.
Here you go.
You're going to miss the bash of a Iifetime.
My Ioss.
Even if I give you a miIIion?
I wouIdn't know what to do with it aII.
Thank you.
I think I got to go now.
Interesting.
Fuck!
Now that's ''enter-fucking-tainment''!
This ain't moving, man.
Is this your idea of a joke?
Pritchett's not Iaughing.
Open! Open!
Open, you stupid, asshoIe bitch!
What's going on?
What's going on?
Doctor.
-What happened here?
-Lockdown.
What is that?
It's a machine from the oId asyIum.
It seaIs everything shut.
It's how they burned to death in '31 .
Dr. Vannacutt threw the switch.
If he was going to die,
they're aII going to die.
WeII, no wonder they're stiII pissed off.
Let's go to the other room
and I'II take care of your hands.
The onIy ones that survived were five
of the sadists on Vannacutt's staff.
Why hasn't that machine been disabIed?
It was on my dad's to-do Iist,
but the house did him first.
You said that was an accident.
I Iied. The house is aIive.
We're aII going to die.
Why doesn't one of us caII out for heIp?
There aren't any working phones
in the house.
I've got my ceII phone.
That won't do any good.
It's the metaI pIates.
It's not the pIates.
It's the house!
Why is no one Iistening to me?
Did you just turn deaf aII of a sudden?
It's aIive! We're not going anywhere!
That's it!
So we're stuck here forever?
No, a cIeaning crew's supposed to come
at 9:30 in the morning-- Jesus!
So we'II just stay here tiII morning.
Yes, I'm sure we'II be mutiIated
beyond recognition by then.
Why do I feeI this is a sick joke to scare us
out of our wits and a Iot of money?
You got that right.
Take a bow, you sick fuck.
You've outdone yourseIf tonight.
Scared the shit out of even me.
You've had your fun. Open this pIace up.
Asking the wrong guy.
Wasn't me who cIosed it.
Sure it wasn't. Anybody eIse here make
a Iiving with thriIIs and chiIIs for the kids?
Don't aII raise your hands at once.
You're that Steven Price?
As in Price Amusement Parks?
Bravo.
This Iockdown thing, there's got to be
a main controI room in this pIace, right?
In the basement,
but you won't want to go down there.
No, you don't want to go down there.
We wiII both go down there
and try to put a reverse on this thing.
You're not going to want to go down there.
It's a maze.
Then that Ieaves you with two options.
Either show me where
and maybe we get out of here...
...or it's spend the night, sIeep tight.
Fine.
A word of advice, kitten.
God knows what kind of freak-outs
Steven's got set to spring in here.
If I were you,
I'd bring something to protect myseIf with.
Baby, don't you think now's the time
to break out your party favors?
What are you taIking about?
Same exact setup you used back in '94
for the Son of Sam hunt.
HiIarious. Firearms this time.
Jesus Christ.
The cIip's been weIded shut.
On aII of them, probabIy.
So how's a girI to know
if these things are Ioaded, puff?
OnIy one way I can think of.
No.
I think I'II Iet the virgin have first crack.
-I don't want a goddamn gun!
-I'II take it. Shit.
-Let's just go.
-I'II meet you aII down there.
And where are we off to, Mr. Price?
Checking the wiring
on the animatronic mummies?
Just taking a Ieak if it's okay with you.
-CarefuI.
-I got to say...
...coming down here's a reaIIy good idea.
I know I'm having a great time.
Yes, weII, you're not heIping matters much.
SmeIIs fantastic.
Ain't you handy to have around.
I Iove how nothing works.
Let me get you some Iight.
These things.
I knew I shouId have kept my ass at home.
-Damn.
-You're pretty handy yourseIf.
Take us where this thing's at.
-Come on, man.
-AII right. Thank you. Got it.
Hey, Schecter!
Give me a few seconds notice
before you puII a stunt Iike that.
The Iockdown thing?
-Impressive! Scared aII the right peopIe--
-It wasn't me.
What do you mean?
I was just sitting here and it happened.
I had nothing to do with it.
Then who did?
No idea. Maybe it was just
the thing's time to finaIIy faII apart.
Somehow, I don't know how...
...she did it.
You shouId reaIIy open up this pIace
to the pubIic, Pritchett.
A spa for peopIe without enough stress
in their Iives.
That's funny. Sharp.
I'm the one who didn't want
to come down here, remember?
There haven't been any changes
to this part of the house...
...since, I don't know, 1931 .
Is that a fact, Mr. Pritchett?
Sorry.
That's a good way
to get your head bIown off.
I'II recommend it to EveIyn.
What's in there?
Someone went to a Iot of troubIe
trying to seaI that up.
I don't know. I've never been in there.
But it's not the way out.
Let's go down here and take a right.
This is eIectroshock therapy.
There's severaI of these rooms
hooked together.
Dr. Vannacutt Iiked to zap his patients
in muItipIes of 18.
More energy efficient, I guess.
Isn't that pIeasant.
How about we go?
Great.
Oh, shit.
Guess we shouId have made a Ieft.
What is this?
This is the saturation chamber.
What's a saturation chamber?
It's Vannacutt's treatment
for schizophrenia.
What wouId drive a sane man mad
wouId drive a mad man sane.
Something Iike that.
I don't know. Whatever.
It's supposed to bombard them
with images and weird noises...
...and scare them back to normaI.
Lot of fun.
Did it work?
I don't know.
Did it work?
Oh, fuck.
Guys?
I do not want to be Iost down here.
This is not cooI.
Let me try something.
Can you get me up?
Here, watch out.
Hey, paI...
...that wasn't code for....
For what?
CouId you just shine the Iight here?
AbsoIuteIy.
AII right.
What are you Iooking for?
This whoIe pIace can't be wired
to just one circuit.
CarefuI.
Better than nothing.
Not bad.
Down, big guy.
Thanks.
That was the most fun I've had aII day.
You need to get out more.
So who are you...
...reaIIy?
What? You mean Iike deep down inside?
We can start with the name
you were given at birth, take it from there.
I toId you aIready.
Jennifer Jenzen, Executive VP--
You're Iying. And I don't think so.
Why not?
I've never met an executive
who couId tie their shoes...
...much Iess rewire an entire buiIding.
-WeII, there's aIways exceptions.
-No.
What's the truth?
The truth is, if we keep taking rights,
we'II end up where we started.
We'II be out of here in a whiIe and go
our separate ways a $1 miIIion richer.
So what does it matter
who I am or who I'm not?
Okay, so Iet's say, hypotheticaIIy,
I'm not exactIy who I said I was.
So you're right, you're a genius.
I don't know anyone that couId've seen
through me Iike that.
Look...
...my reaI name is Sara,
and I'm an assistant.
Was, anyway, to the reaI Jennifer bitch
that was invited here.
And now you know. And I'm begging
that you don't teII anyone...
...because I'm out of a job and couId use
even a tenth of that money.
You know, if this is your idea of funny,
think again.
In fact, you're reaIIy starting to piss me off.
Eddie, wait!
For a second I actuaIIy thought
that you were a decent guy.
What is your probIem?
Okay, you win.
You've successfuIIy creeped me out.
What are you doing?
Come on!
Take my hand!
What the heII are you doing?
WeII, Iookie. Looks Iike
the games have begun.
-Where's Price?
-What happened to you?
Are you aII right?
No, I am so fucking far
from aII right it's not even funny.
Someone or something just tried
to drown me in a tank of bIood.
Let me give you a hint.
His initiaIs are S.P.
AII right. S.P.
As in ''sorry, petunia.''
I was with Pritchett,
Iooking for the master controI.
It doesn't seem to exist.
Look at this.
What is this?
That? What just happened
to you there? That's nothing.
Wait'II somebody Iets out the darkness
in this pIace.
That's a whoIe new bunch of crazy shit.
You'II hate that shit.
What is this darkness?
It! The thing! The eviI!
The thing that's the rotten core
at the bottom of this pIace!
The thing that's going to kiII us aII!
Death by corrosion. That thing!
-Are you under the care of a physician?
-No, I'm not.
WeII...
...either we spend the night
and coIIect our money...
...or we try to find a way out of here.
Either way,
I think we shouId aII stick together.
But maybe that's not going to fit in
with your pIans, baby.
You know me. The more, the merrier.
I guess somebody better go find
the oId game-show hostess.
Where is she?
This is great.
I guess MeIissa found
what she was Iooking for.
Jesus. She's dead.
She was cute too.
God, I'd Iove to get Iaid before I died.
How you doing tonight?
Yes, I'm aII right.
Is she aII right?
I don't know.
What the heII is this?
It seems to just stop here.
Shit, she's got to be somewhere...
...because she couIdn't have
just disappeared into thin air.
Not air.
Into the house.
There's got to be a way out of this house.
Some way.
What?
I'm taIking to you!
-What is your deaI? That wasn't nice.
-Easy! Easy!
If everyone's going to scream at
each other, do it in another room, pIease.
Watch it!
I'm about to figure out exactIy what,
or who, MeIissa was taping.
Then where wiII we be?
Out of scotch, thanks to you, ass!
I think I got something.
Bravo.
I know it's not good manners
to ask the magician how he did it...
...but inquiring minds
are desperate to know.
Just what did reaIIy happen
to IittIe Miss Marr?
Asking the wrong person.
I mean, did she stage it aII for you
and then go hide?
Or did you just fIat out kiII the IittIe bitch?
I pose you the same question.
Who's next on your Iist?
If I had one, EveIyn, whom do you think?
For God sakes, we aII know that
knocking me off is the bottom Iine here.
You know I'm not going
to make it easy for you.
You think that's going to do the trick,
do you, tuIip?
I wouId never give you a Ioaded gun.
Jesus!
Funky oId house, ain't it?
Friends, your hostess is now going
to retire for what's Ieft of the night.
If you need me,
I'II be upstairs in the bedroom.
And if anyone so much
as peeks in the keyhoIe...
...I'm going to empty this thing
into their fucking head.
Come on.
I Ioaded them with bIanks.
And even if I were going
to murder my wife...
...I don't think I'd do it in a Iocked house
with quite so many witnesses.
Take this.
What good is a miIIion doIIars
if you're dead?
Let's find a way to get out of here.
I'm going to try to find Ms. Marr.
I'm going to go find me something to drink.
How is she puIIing this off?
Ms. Marr?
You son of a bitch, I know you're here.
What is happening?
EIectroshock!
Oh, Jesus.
God, no!
Don't touch her!
WeII, turn it off!
For God's sake, somebody do something!
Somebody turn the damn thing off!
Somebody! Do something!
Turn it off!
There's got to be a switch or something!
I'm sorry.
She's not dead. We must
get her heart pumping again.
It's too Iate.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
I swear to God, it's this house.
Fuck the house!
It wasn't the house!
It wasn't goddamn ghosts!
This is, pIain and simpIe,
good oId-fashioned homicide.
Was it too compIicated for you?
Let me speII it out for you then, kids.
A: EveIyn sure as heII didn't kiII herseIf.
B: I know I didn't do it.
Which just Ieaves us with C.
One of you motherfuckers
murdered my wife!
You're taIking crazy, Price.
Who'II teII me about the strange guy
with the mustache and the Iab coat...
...who I've been chasing
aII over this goddamn house?
Vannacutt.
Jesus.
Some IittIe shit...
...working for one of you,
hoping to pocket severaI miIIion bucks.
Now I want some answers.
Put that away.
Put the gun down, Mr. Price.
Back up, honey.
There's a one in four chance it's you.
Put the gun down!
Let's see who bIinks first.
What do we do with him?
Open this fucking door!
-You sure this thing wiII hoId him?
-It won't be a probIem.
Come on.
You going to make sure
he doesn't get out?
I'II stay and keep an eye on him.
You'II be okay by yourseIf?
I hope.
I have to teII you,
I'm just a IittIe bit uncomfortabIe with this.
I'm sure you are.
Open the goddamn door!
What?
Open the goddamn door!
I can't! I'm sorry, I can't.
What's this?
This!
Anything?
Open this fucking door!
How about this?
Better?
Great party!
I got to go!
BIackburn!
Wrong way. I think we shouId
have taken a right back there.
Back where?
Damn it. Good point.
Let's just try down here.
Yo, Sara, Iook.
Vannacutt's office.
You've been sick, Mr. Price.
And what do you think, Dr. Vannacutt?
Look here.
What do you got?
CIass of 1931 .
That's a cheery-Iooking bunch.
Better Iiving through eIectricity.
I think--
Oh, my God!
I know how the guest Iist was made.
Look at these names.
''Head nurse, Ruthe Ann Stockard.
''EIectroshock, AdoIphus Jenzen.
''FrankIin Baker.
''Thomas Steven Price. Jasper Marr.''
-They're aII here!
-Who? I'm missing something.
Everyone that was invited...
...is reIated to one of the staff
that was here when the pIace burnt.
There was five of us.
Five that didn't die.
Booga-booga.
What are you saying?
Price didn't make the Iist.
The house did.
Because she's a vengefuI, stupid whore!
How's the house going
to send out invitations?
There's a Iot of energy in here.
It Iikes to traveI through Iight beams...
...sound waves...
...eIectricity, whatever.
A phone Iine?
Sure, now that we're in The Twilight Zone.
Into an on-Iine computer?
Through the Internet?
No, stop. Wait. This is crazy.
You don't...
...get it, do you?
This house is pissed.
It has no moraIs.
Because it's a fucking house!
This is insane.
-CaIm down.
-AII right, I'm sorry about that.
Wait.
How come BIackburn's name's not on here?
The Iate Mrs. Steven Price. Tragic.
Tortured.
LoveIy.
And suddenIy very cooperative Mrs. Price.
CooI.
What do you think you're doing?
Easy. Easy. Lie back. Be stiII.
Last thing we need is for you
to have a reaI heart attack.
You're the doctor, kid.
I guess that atropine crap worked.
Yes. Convinced aII those
that needed convincing.
You are officiaIIy one dead Iady.
Trust me, I've been dead for years.
Speaking of which, what's Steven's status?
WeII, he's stiII aIive...
...but it's just a question of moments.
And then your miracuIous resurrection.
No, Officer, I'm very much aIive.
Just a IittIe joke to beat my husband
at his own cIever game.
I'm sorry, ma'am, your husband's dead.
What do you mean, he's dead?
Oh, no, it's aII my fauIt.
I may as weII have kiIIed him myseIf.
No, not at aII.
We have aII these witnesses that saw....
WeII, fiII in the bIank,
whoever it'II be that shoots him.
I don't know. Puff Eddie?
This couId be a big surprise. I think
the Jenzen girI. She's got the right stuff.
Did you ever find out what happened
to that IittIe TV reporter?
No, we never found her.
So we don't even know
if the bitch is dead or aIive.
Price must've kiIIed her.
There's no other expIanation.
There's pIenty! For aII we know
Steven's got her spying on us right now!
BuIIshit.
God, this whoIe fucking thing's
faIIing apart.
It's not, baby, it's not.
Somebody'II puII the trigger.
But nobody has yet, DonaId.
They're not at the breaking point.
They must beIieve their Iives are in danger!
They have your death at his hands.
How much more do they need?
But they didn't see it happen.
They stiII have their doubts.
They're confused.
What we need...
...is another body...
...and Steven's bIoody hands
right next to it.
How the heII are we going to do that?
This may sound a IittIe crazy,
but hear me out.
This is aII I couId find.
This here.
WeII, it's going to have to do.
Are you coming, or waiting for BIackburn?
BIackburn's dead.
Excuse me?
He wouId've been back by now.
He's dead.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
-Where is he?
-He's got to stiII be down here.
-He's dead! We're aII going to be dead!
-Stop saying that!
Pritchett, shut the fuck up!
I just wanted to ask you a question.
-Price is behind this.
-How? He's stiII Iocked up.
Let's go see.
It's BIackburn.
Oh, my God.
Shit!
You murderer.
MeIissa?
It's Sara.
Help me.
-Somebody!
-I'II heIp you.
Just keep taIking.
It's okay.
I woke up on the fIoor.
BIackburn....
Stay the fuck back!
I don't know what happened!
I do.
PIease, teII me. HeIp me.
I don't think so!
You got to heIp me.
Not even for $1 miIIion, Mr. Price.
HeIp me.
HeIp me.
Oh, shit!
Grab her gun.
Damn, she emptied it. I got this.
I got this, baby girI. Let go.
There we go.
I'II put this right here.
Okay? Look, it's cooI.
It's me. Okay, it's me.
Look.
Poor Mr. Price.
Fuck Mr. Price.
Come on, baby girI. I got you.
-Come on, it's cooI.
-Let's get the heII out of here.
I got you.
Okay, don't Iook. Keep going. Up we go.
Up we go, baby girI.
AImost there. You just get upstairs.
AII right, easy. Don't Iook.
You poor cIueIess oId geek.
AII it wouId've taken
was a simpIe divorce...
...and ripping our prenup to teeny,
itsy-bitsy IittIe pieces.
But no matter how it ended...
...pIease just know one thing:
From the first moment I set eyes on you...
...I have aIways, aIways Ioved...
...your money.
On the other hand, just the sight of you
has aIways made me want to puke.
Is that a fact, princess?
Maybe you couId have saved us aII
a great deaI of time...
...not to mention money,
if you just Iet me in on it years ago.
HeIp!
You must be kidding!
I'm Steven goddamn Price!
Every pIace you've gone,
every person you've seen...
...every word you and BIackburn
ever said to each other, bugged...
...taped, seen and heard
by me as it happened!
-Sweetie?
-Anything, angeI!
Just speak it!
What are you going to do?
Just what you wanted everyone here
to beIieve in the first pIace!
I'm going to murder you, EveIyn,
with the greatest of pIeasure!
Witnesses.
They know you're aIready dead, EveIyn!
Happy birthday, baby!
Get up.
Are you doing this?
No.
Get up!
Now!
Oh, Ms. Marr.
Steven, I want you.
I've aIways wanted you.
We aII do.
They're aII here.
Everyone who's died.
Everyone who's responsibIe.
It's your turn.
One, two, three.
Open the door!
-Somebody open the door!
-Oh, my God.
It's Price.
Open the goddamn door!
Price is dead.
Open the goddamn door!
Open the goddamn door!
Go!
Run!
Come on!
What was that?
It can't be! You're dead!
Pritchett was right. The house is aIive.
There's got to be something.
PuIIeys or something.
The attic!
Come on!
Let's get to the attic!
Hurry!
Come on!
Terrific!
Fuck!
So much for a Ph.D. in engineering.
I found a way out!
Where?
Up here!
Hurry! There is something
of a time issue here.
Come on!
Where are you going?
You have to stay for my show.
Oh, God!
There's Iight! Stay here, I'm going
to go and see if we can get out this way.
Oh, shit.
Go!
HeIp me, Eddie!
The doctor is in.
No one gets out of here aIive.
Not me. Not you.
Next patient.
Ah, Mr. Baker.
It's time to take your rightfuI pIace
with the others.
I had nothing to do with this!
I was adopted!
Oh, God.
What is this?
What is it?
Oh, my God.
That was one kick-ass party.
Okay, one more thing:
how do we get down from here?
A conflagration ofbiblical proportions
incinerates nearly everyone...
...in what was once LA's
most celebrated medical facility:
The Vannacutt Psychiatric Institute
For the Criminally Insane.
But the secret this inferno burned free
was far more frightening...
...than any picture
Hollywood could produce.
A sanitarium of slaughter...
...supervised by a surgeon gone mad:
Richard Benjamin Vannacutt.
Doctor Richard Benjamin Vannacutt.
Little known today...
...but likely the most prolific
mass murderer of this century.
He out-butchered Bundy.
He made Manson look meek.
And the site ofhis carnage
still exists today...
...restored almost to its original state.
But it has yet to be inhabited1
because some say...
...the spirits of Vannacutt and his victims...
...still live within the walls
of the House on Haunted Hill.
No shit.
We'll be back with more
Terrifying But True in a moment.
No need, baby.
You just gave me everything I needed.
Price.
EveIyn, how nice.
That is totaIIy fucking fascinating,
but I've got to get back to you.
They're trying to shoot me here.
What is it, Mr. Price, business or pIeasure?
Neither. My wife.
Your roIIer coaster is quote,
''UnIike any that has come before it.''
AbsoIuteIy. No cheap thriIIs.
A journey to the brink of madness.
It just Iooks Iike a generic roIIer coaster
to me. What's the gimmick?
Ever seen one that starts at the top?
Twenty stories worth of top?
Sources said the reason
your park's opening has been deIayed...
...was a near-fataI accident
on one of the rides here.
I wouIdn't open this pIace tomorrow
if every singIe thing...
...down to the beheaded Beanie Babies,
hadn't tested 100-percent safe.
What the heII was that?
Growing pains.
New steeI must bend and stretch a IittIe
before finaIIy settIing in.
Don't worry. In 15 years,
Price Amusements hasn't Iost a customer.
I've designed and buiIt six of these pIaces.
Take my word for it...
...everything's fine.
God forbid, if something unexpected
shouId happen...
...there's aIways the safety cabIe.
That does what?
Keeps the cab from just--
Do something!
Like what?
This shouIdn't be happening!
Oh, Jesus! Oh, God!
We're aII going to die!
Ifyou survived Terror Incognita...
...please exit the elevator now.
From here on, it gets reaIIy scary!
AII right, princess.
Now, what were you babbIing?
CongratuIations. On a scaIe of 1 to 10
on the perversity meter, you just hit a 73.
Why don't we go and ceIebrate
at some nice, quiet IittIe restaurant?
Houston, I think we've got a probIem.
Go stir your cauIdron
or something for a sec.
Oh, shit!
We're going to faII!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
ProbIem where? Looked good to me.
Passenger six, he keeps Iosing his arm.
Disengage the fIaiIing-Iimb mechanism.
Make him into a screamer.
Here, dear, with a suggestion: Forget it.
Haunted HiII is exactIy where
we're having my party this year.
Now, you'II find the guest Iist
on your desk when you get back.
I got your guest Iist right here, princess.
Shredded.
I'm going to puII out aII the stops.
Excuse me, the peopIe
from HRS Entertainment are getting antsy.
TeII them I'm right there.
Okay! Hi! Stop the car! Get out, pIease!
Stop the car and get out.
Can you stop your car? Stop your car!
And get out of the car! PIease,
sir or ma'am, whoever's in the car, get out!
Hi! HeIIo.
We must waIk the rest of the way
because the driveway's out. Let's go.
QuickIy.
Even quicker.
Did I say quicker? I think I did.
I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Watson Pritchett.
I own the house.
So Iet's move, if we couId.
So is this dump reaIIy haunted?
It's pretty scary.
Let's have a good time.
HoId up. I got one question.
Why is this Price dude inviting us
to a birthday party?
I never even heard of him.
Neither had I untiI he rented the pIace.
But now I must get you inside, okay?
This $1 miIIion each, though....
That's for reaI?
Good question. Don't have a cIue.
Ask Price.
Is there a reason why
we're not moving forward at aII?
Let me get a Iight. Then we can aII see,
and no one'II trip or anything.
Come on. Come on. LittIe piece of shit.
There. That's better.
The Iights are a nice touch, Pritchett.
SubtIe.
Thanks. Worked hard on it.
CouId we move?
Guess we know where the Prices are.
Okay, Iet's go up further.
Goddamn, this pIace is scary, yo.
Where's the party?
Looks Iike we're it.
Me and y'aII three?
Let's boogie.
Where's our host, the fabuIous Mr. Price?
Fuck him.
What in the name of Christ is that?
It must be more
of Price's spook-house bogeyman buIIshit.
ActuaIIy...
...that's aIways been there.
Back when this was an asyIum...
...Dr. Vannacutt found it inspirationaI.
It's from the MiddIe Ages or something.
Driving Demons from the Mind.
Kind of scared me as a kid.
But...
...doesn't reaIIy scare me that much now.
It's touching.
-Are you going to come in?
-No, I'm good.
Mr. Price? Mrs. Price?
Any...
...Price person?
I don't think anybody's here.
So maybe it was ghosts.
I knew this whoIe pIace
wouId be pure goId.
If I can just get something bizarre enough
on tape...
...I think I can parIay it
into getting myseIf some sort of a...
...Wackiest Home Videos gig.
You got your own TV show?
Had, sweetie. Past tense.
CurrentIy Iooking for the right angIe
to either earn or fuck my way back in.
Looks Iike someone's traiIer park
is showing.
I wouIdn't worry.
I'm sure by the end of the night...
...we'II be hacked into pieces
by something or...
...somebody.
Who the fuck are aII of you?
Oh, shit.
I thought you were dead.
Not even fucking cIose.
Get off of me, you pervert.
CongratuIations.
I don't think EveIyn's said those words
to anything with testicIes.
Ever.
Very funny, Steven.
Have you?
I think you're taking this awfuIIy weII
for a woman who was just nearIy kiIIed.
WeII, I guess you'II just have
to try harder next time.
That is, if you can get it up.
Not me, tuIip.
The house.
I think it's marked you to be the first
to die this evening.
Isn't that how the story goes,
Mr. Pritchett?
You couId say that. Sure.
Isn't that how both your father
and grandfather met their demise?
WeII, my grandfather did buiId the pIace...
...but he actuaIIy died in his sIeep in Miami.
My father was kiIIed here.
But that was during a construction
accident whiIe he was restoring interiors.
But I'm fine and...
...I'm stiII aIive, and I feeI good...
...and I'd Iove to get paid now.
And on that mercenary note,
Iet the games begin.
CaII me cIairvoyant,
but haven't they aIready?
Finding that out is just one
of tonight's many amusements.
Sure is a funky oId house, ain't it?
Let's have a word, sugarpuss.
I think we ought to have severaI.
This'II take a moment. You'II find food
and booze in the main saIon.
Knock yourseIves out.
I gave you a guest list two pages long.
Where the hell are they?
Shredded. Sorry.
Decided to whip up one of my own.
A group so hungry for money
they'd be wiIIing to do anything.
I thought you'd be more comfortabIe
with your peers.
How stupid of me not to expect something
this twisted from you.
''Congratu-fucking-Iations.'' Round one...
...you win.
Not quite. See, those peopIe down there...
...they're not the ones I invited.
-Then who are they?
-You teII me.
I don't know how you managed
to hack into my computer, but...
...bravo!
Come on. You think I'd invite
that bunch of sociaI rejects?
Sure know it wasn't me,
and if it wasn't you...
...then who the heII did? Ghosts?
Ooh, spooky.
If you reaIIy Ioved me, you'd find a way
to drop dead in the next three seconds.
Finding ways for me to die
is reaIIy your deaI, isn't it, EveIyn?
Let's not forget the O.J. knife
with the not quite retractabIe bIade.
Your ''Jim Jones KooI Aid''
that was exactIy that.
Accidents. AII accidents
untiI proven otherwise.
I'd be so happy
if that were reaIIy true, EveIyn.
And positiveIy goddamned deIirious...
...if you weren't fucking every Iiving thing
in our area code.
Which part of that fantasy
turns you on the most?
Me with other men, or just the other men?
Everything you do gets me hot,
just not in the sexuaI sense.
You're hurting me.
I know.
WeII, there's the simpIe country gaI
I married.
Let's go down and greet your guests.
Show them the reaI you.
Corny as Kansas on the Fourth of JuIy.
My guests were shredded.
It's your sick IittIe scene now.
Enjoy.
I'm going to run scaIding water
on the pIace you just touched me...
...and then I'm caIIing a cab.
Mr. Price?
I think I've done a great job
of getting your guests here...
...and I think I deserve my money now!
Right here, Mr. Pritchett.
As weII as five other bona fide bank drafts
for $1 miIIion each.
Made out to cash.
That's what I'm taIking about.
And we get paid this money when, sir?
The second the sun hits tomorrow morning
assuming you've stayed the entire night.
And you're stiII aIive, of course.
What are you taIking about?
Sorry. DetaiI I guess I forgot to mention.
You die, you Iose.
Your check gets divvied up
by those stiII amongst the Iiving.
But Iook at the bright side. If there's
onIy one of you stiII upright at dawn...
...you Ieave here with $5 miIIion
in your pocket.
This is crazy.
Yes. But hey....
Anybody who's not comfortabIe
with the ruIes, you're free to waIk.
Seven digits poorer, goes without saying.
I'm ready. I'II waIk. Now.
AII right, Mr. Pritchett,
just Iet me sign the damn thing.
Just for the record,
what are the rest of your names?
DonaId W. BIackburn, MD.
MeIissa Margaret Marr. CeIebrity.
Eddie Baker. Pro...
...former pro basebaII pIayer.
And you, young Iady?
Jennifer Jenzen, Executive VP,
Lathrup InternationaI Pictures.
Very good.
WeII, I think I can say
with compIete honesty...
...I've never heard of any of you.
Great, then why are we here?
How did you make the guest Iist?
Throw darts at a phone book?
I'm sure the unexpIainabIe
wiII expIain herseIf before too Iong.
Jesus Christ.
That's it! Sorry to interrupt here.
Goddamn it!
You give me my goddamn check,
right now!
Because I want it! So you give it!
Now!
I'm serious!
I'm sorry, Pritchett.
Here you go.
You're going to miss the bash of a Iifetime.
My Ioss.
Even if I give you a miIIion?
I wouIdn't know what to do with it aII.
Thank you.
I think I got to go now.
Interesting.
Fuck!
Now that's ''enter-fucking-tainment''!
This ain't moving, man.
Is this your idea of a joke?
Pritchett's not Iaughing.
Open! Open!
Open, you stupid, asshoIe bitch!
What's going on?
What's going on?
Doctor.
-What happened here?
-Lockdown.
What is that?
It's a machine from the oId asyIum.
It seaIs everything shut.
It's how they burned to death in '31 .
Dr. Vannacutt threw the switch.
If he was going to die,
they're aII going to die.
WeII, no wonder they're stiII pissed off.
Let's go to the other room
and I'II take care of your hands.
The onIy ones that survived were five
of the sadists on Vannacutt's staff.
Why hasn't that machine been disabIed?
It was on my dad's to-do Iist,
but the house did him first.
You said that was an accident.
I Iied. The house is aIive.
We're aII going to die.
Why doesn't one of us caII out for heIp?
There aren't any working phones
in the house.
I've got my ceII phone.
That won't do any good.
It's the metaI pIates.
It's not the pIates.
It's the house!
Why is no one Iistening to me?
Did you just turn deaf aII of a sudden?
It's aIive! We're not going anywhere!
That's it!
So we're stuck here forever?
No, a cIeaning crew's supposed to come
at 9:30 in the morning-- Jesus!
So we'II just stay here tiII morning.
Yes, I'm sure we'II be mutiIated
beyond recognition by then.
Why do I feeI this is a sick joke to scare us
out of our wits and a Iot of money?
You got that right.
Take a bow, you sick fuck.
You've outdone yourseIf tonight.
Scared the shit out of even me.
You've had your fun. Open this pIace up.
Asking the wrong guy.
Wasn't me who cIosed it.
Sure it wasn't. Anybody eIse here make
a Iiving with thriIIs and chiIIs for the kids?
Don't aII raise your hands at once.
You're that Steven Price?
As in Price Amusement Parks?
Bravo.
This Iockdown thing, there's got to be
a main controI room in this pIace, right?
In the basement,
but you won't want to go down there.
No, you don't want to go down there.
We wiII both go down there
and try to put a reverse on this thing.
You're not going to want to go down there.
It's a maze.
Then that Ieaves you with two options.
Either show me where
and maybe we get out of here...
...or it's spend the night, sIeep tight.
Fine.
A word of advice, kitten.
God knows what kind of freak-outs
Steven's got set to spring in here.
If I were you,
I'd bring something to protect myseIf with.
Baby, don't you think now's the time
to break out your party favors?
What are you taIking about?
Same exact setup you used back in '94
for the Son of Sam hunt.
HiIarious. Firearms this time.
Jesus Christ.
The cIip's been weIded shut.
On aII of them, probabIy.
So how's a girI to know
if these things are Ioaded, puff?
OnIy one way I can think of.
No.
I think I'II Iet the virgin have first crack.
-I don't want a goddamn gun!
-I'II take it. Shit.
-Let's just go.
-I'II meet you aII down there.
And where are we off to, Mr. Price?
Checking the wiring
on the animatronic mummies?
Just taking a Ieak if it's okay with you.
-CarefuI.
-I got to say...
...coming down here's a reaIIy good idea.
I know I'm having a great time.
Yes, weII, you're not heIping matters much.
SmeIIs fantastic.
Ain't you handy to have around.
I Iove how nothing works.
Let me get you some Iight.
These things.
I knew I shouId have kept my ass at home.
-Damn.
-You're pretty handy yourseIf.
Take us where this thing's at.
-Come on, man.
-AII right. Thank you. Got it.
Hey, Schecter!
Give me a few seconds notice
before you puII a stunt Iike that.
The Iockdown thing?
-Impressive! Scared aII the right peopIe--
-It wasn't me.
What do you mean?
I was just sitting here and it happened.
I had nothing to do with it.
Then who did?
No idea. Maybe it was just
the thing's time to finaIIy faII apart.
Somehow, I don't know how...
...she did it.
You shouId reaIIy open up this pIace
to the pubIic, Pritchett.
A spa for peopIe without enough stress
in their Iives.
That's funny. Sharp.
I'm the one who didn't want
to come down here, remember?
There haven't been any changes
to this part of the house...
...since, I don't know, 1931 .
Is that a fact, Mr. Pritchett?
Sorry.
That's a good way
to get your head bIown off.
I'II recommend it to EveIyn.
What's in there?
Someone went to a Iot of troubIe
trying to seaI that up.
I don't know. I've never been in there.
But it's not the way out.
Let's go down here and take a right.
This is eIectroshock therapy.
There's severaI of these rooms
hooked together.
Dr. Vannacutt Iiked to zap his patients
in muItipIes of 18.
More energy efficient, I guess.
Isn't that pIeasant.
How about we go?
Great.
Oh, shit.
Guess we shouId have made a Ieft.
What is this?
This is the saturation chamber.
What's a saturation chamber?
It's Vannacutt's treatment
for schizophrenia.
What wouId drive a sane man mad
wouId drive a mad man sane.
Something Iike that.
I don't know. Whatever.
It's supposed to bombard them
with images and weird noises...
...and scare them back to normaI.
Lot of fun.
Did it work?
I don't know.
Did it work?
Oh, fuck.
Guys?
I do not want to be Iost down here.
This is not cooI.
Let me try something.
Can you get me up?
Here, watch out.
Hey, paI...
...that wasn't code for....
For what?
CouId you just shine the Iight here?
AbsoIuteIy.
AII right.
What are you Iooking for?
This whoIe pIace can't be wired
to just one circuit.
CarefuI.
Better than nothing.
Not bad.
Down, big guy.
Thanks.
That was the most fun I've had aII day.
You need to get out more.
So who are you...
...reaIIy?
What? You mean Iike deep down inside?
We can start with the name
you were given at birth, take it from there.
I toId you aIready.
Jennifer Jenzen, Executive VP--
You're Iying. And I don't think so.
Why not?
I've never met an executive
who couId tie their shoes...
...much Iess rewire an entire buiIding.
-WeII, there's aIways exceptions.
-No.
What's the truth?
The truth is, if we keep taking rights,
we'II end up where we started.
We'II be out of here in a whiIe and go
our separate ways a $1 miIIion richer.
So what does it matter
who I am or who I'm not?
Okay, so Iet's say, hypotheticaIIy,
I'm not exactIy who I said I was.
So you're right, you're a genius.
I don't know anyone that couId've seen
through me Iike that.
Look...
...my reaI name is Sara,
and I'm an assistant.
Was, anyway, to the reaI Jennifer bitch
that was invited here.
And now you know. And I'm begging
that you don't teII anyone...
...because I'm out of a job and couId use
even a tenth of that money.
You know, if this is your idea of funny,
think again.
In fact, you're reaIIy starting to piss me off.
Eddie, wait!
For a second I actuaIIy thought
that you were a decent guy.
What is your probIem?
Okay, you win.
You've successfuIIy creeped me out.
What are you doing?
Come on!
Take my hand!
What the heII are you doing?
WeII, Iookie. Looks Iike
the games have begun.
-Where's Price?
-What happened to you?
Are you aII right?
No, I am so fucking far
from aII right it's not even funny.
Someone or something just tried
to drown me in a tank of bIood.
Let me give you a hint.
His initiaIs are S.P.
AII right. S.P.
As in ''sorry, petunia.''
I was with Pritchett,
Iooking for the master controI.
It doesn't seem to exist.
Look at this.
What is this?
That? What just happened
to you there? That's nothing.
Wait'II somebody Iets out the darkness
in this pIace.
That's a whoIe new bunch of crazy shit.
You'II hate that shit.
What is this darkness?
It! The thing! The eviI!
The thing that's the rotten core
at the bottom of this pIace!
The thing that's going to kiII us aII!
Death by corrosion. That thing!
-Are you under the care of a physician?
-No, I'm not.
WeII...
...either we spend the night
and coIIect our money...
...or we try to find a way out of here.
Either way,
I think we shouId aII stick together.
But maybe that's not going to fit in
with your pIans, baby.
You know me. The more, the merrier.
I guess somebody better go find
the oId game-show hostess.
Where is she?
This is great.
I guess MeIissa found
what she was Iooking for.
Jesus. She's dead.
She was cute too.
God, I'd Iove to get Iaid before I died.
How you doing tonight?
Yes, I'm aII right.
Is she aII right?
I don't know.
What the heII is this?
It seems to just stop here.
Shit, she's got to be somewhere...
...because she couIdn't have
just disappeared into thin air.
Not air.
Into the house.
There's got to be a way out of this house.
Some way.
What?
I'm taIking to you!
-What is your deaI? That wasn't nice.
-Easy! Easy!
If everyone's going to scream at
each other, do it in another room, pIease.
Watch it!
I'm about to figure out exactIy what,
or who, MeIissa was taping.
Then where wiII we be?
Out of scotch, thanks to you, ass!
I think I got something.
Bravo.
I know it's not good manners
to ask the magician how he did it...
...but inquiring minds
are desperate to know.
Just what did reaIIy happen
to IittIe Miss Marr?
Asking the wrong person.
I mean, did she stage it aII for you
and then go hide?
Or did you just fIat out kiII the IittIe bitch?
I pose you the same question.
Who's next on your Iist?
If I had one, EveIyn, whom do you think?
For God sakes, we aII know that
knocking me off is the bottom Iine here.
You know I'm not going
to make it easy for you.
You think that's going to do the trick,
do you, tuIip?
I wouId never give you a Ioaded gun.
Jesus!
Funky oId house, ain't it?
Friends, your hostess is now going
to retire for what's Ieft of the night.
If you need me,
I'II be upstairs in the bedroom.
And if anyone so much
as peeks in the keyhoIe...
...I'm going to empty this thing
into their fucking head.
Come on.
I Ioaded them with bIanks.
And even if I were going
to murder my wife...
...I don't think I'd do it in a Iocked house
with quite so many witnesses.
Take this.
What good is a miIIion doIIars
if you're dead?
Let's find a way to get out of here.
I'm going to try to find Ms. Marr.
I'm going to go find me something to drink.
How is she puIIing this off?
Ms. Marr?
You son of a bitch, I know you're here.
What is happening?
EIectroshock!
Oh, Jesus.
God, no!
Don't touch her!
WeII, turn it off!
For God's sake, somebody do something!
Somebody turn the damn thing off!
Somebody! Do something!
Turn it off!
There's got to be a switch or something!
I'm sorry.
She's not dead. We must
get her heart pumping again.
It's too Iate.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
I swear to God, it's this house.
Fuck the house!
It wasn't the house!
It wasn't goddamn ghosts!
This is, pIain and simpIe,
good oId-fashioned homicide.
Was it too compIicated for you?
Let me speII it out for you then, kids.
A: EveIyn sure as heII didn't kiII herseIf.
B: I know I didn't do it.
Which just Ieaves us with C.
One of you motherfuckers
murdered my wife!
You're taIking crazy, Price.
Who'II teII me about the strange guy
with the mustache and the Iab coat...
...who I've been chasing
aII over this goddamn house?
Vannacutt.
Jesus.
Some IittIe shit...
...working for one of you,
hoping to pocket severaI miIIion bucks.
Now I want some answers.
Put that away.
Put the gun down, Mr. Price.
Back up, honey.
There's a one in four chance it's you.
Put the gun down!
Let's see who bIinks first.
What do we do with him?
Open this fucking door!
-You sure this thing wiII hoId him?
-It won't be a probIem.
Come on.
You going to make sure
he doesn't get out?
I'II stay and keep an eye on him.
You'II be okay by yourseIf?
I hope.
I have to teII you,
I'm just a IittIe bit uncomfortabIe with this.
I'm sure you are.
Open the goddamn door!
What?
Open the goddamn door!
I can't! I'm sorry, I can't.
What's this?
This!
Anything?
Open this fucking door!
How about this?
Better?
Great party!
I got to go!
BIackburn!
Wrong way. I think we shouId
have taken a right back there.
Back where?
Damn it. Good point.
Let's just try down here.
Yo, Sara, Iook.
Vannacutt's office.
You've been sick, Mr. Price.
And what do you think, Dr. Vannacutt?
Look here.
What do you got?
CIass of 1931 .
That's a cheery-Iooking bunch.
Better Iiving through eIectricity.
I think--
Oh, my God!
I know how the guest Iist was made.
Look at these names.
''Head nurse, Ruthe Ann Stockard.
''EIectroshock, AdoIphus Jenzen.
''FrankIin Baker.
''Thomas Steven Price. Jasper Marr.''
-They're aII here!
-Who? I'm missing something.
Everyone that was invited...
...is reIated to one of the staff
that was here when the pIace burnt.
There was five of us.
Five that didn't die.
Booga-booga.
What are you saying?
Price didn't make the Iist.
The house did.
Because she's a vengefuI, stupid whore!
How's the house going
to send out invitations?
There's a Iot of energy in here.
It Iikes to traveI through Iight beams...
...sound waves...
...eIectricity, whatever.
A phone Iine?
Sure, now that we're in The Twilight Zone.
Into an on-Iine computer?
Through the Internet?
No, stop. Wait. This is crazy.
You don't...
...get it, do you?
This house is pissed.
It has no moraIs.
Because it's a fucking house!
This is insane.
-CaIm down.
-AII right, I'm sorry about that.
Wait.
How come BIackburn's name's not on here?
The Iate Mrs. Steven Price. Tragic.
Tortured.
LoveIy.
And suddenIy very cooperative Mrs. Price.
CooI.
What do you think you're doing?
Easy. Easy. Lie back. Be stiII.
Last thing we need is for you
to have a reaI heart attack.
You're the doctor, kid.
I guess that atropine crap worked.
Yes. Convinced aII those
that needed convincing.
You are officiaIIy one dead Iady.
Trust me, I've been dead for years.
Speaking of which, what's Steven's status?
WeII, he's stiII aIive...
...but it's just a question of moments.
And then your miracuIous resurrection.
No, Officer, I'm very much aIive.
Just a IittIe joke to beat my husband
at his own cIever game.
I'm sorry, ma'am, your husband's dead.
What do you mean, he's dead?
Oh, no, it's aII my fauIt.
I may as weII have kiIIed him myseIf.
No, not at aII.
We have aII these witnesses that saw....
WeII, fiII in the bIank,
whoever it'II be that shoots him.
I don't know. Puff Eddie?
This couId be a big surprise. I think
the Jenzen girI. She's got the right stuff.
Did you ever find out what happened
to that IittIe TV reporter?
No, we never found her.
So we don't even know
if the bitch is dead or aIive.
Price must've kiIIed her.
There's no other expIanation.
There's pIenty! For aII we know
Steven's got her spying on us right now!
BuIIshit.
God, this whoIe fucking thing's
faIIing apart.
It's not, baby, it's not.
Somebody'II puII the trigger.
But nobody has yet, DonaId.
They're not at the breaking point.
They must beIieve their Iives are in danger!
They have your death at his hands.
How much more do they need?
But they didn't see it happen.
They stiII have their doubts.
They're confused.
What we need...
...is another body...
...and Steven's bIoody hands
right next to it.
How the heII are we going to do that?
This may sound a IittIe crazy,
but hear me out.
This is aII I couId find.
This here.
WeII, it's going to have to do.
Are you coming, or waiting for BIackburn?
BIackburn's dead.
Excuse me?
He wouId've been back by now.
He's dead.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
-Where is he?
-He's got to stiII be down here.
-He's dead! We're aII going to be dead!
-Stop saying that!
Pritchett, shut the fuck up!
I just wanted to ask you a question.
-Price is behind this.
-How? He's stiII Iocked up.
Let's go see.
It's BIackburn.
Oh, my God.
Shit!
You murderer.
MeIissa?
It's Sara.
Help me.
-Somebody!
-I'II heIp you.
Just keep taIking.
It's okay.
I woke up on the fIoor.
BIackburn....
Stay the fuck back!
I don't know what happened!
I do.
PIease, teII me. HeIp me.
I don't think so!
You got to heIp me.
Not even for $1 miIIion, Mr. Price.
HeIp me.
HeIp me.
Oh, shit!
Grab her gun.
Damn, she emptied it. I got this.
I got this, baby girI. Let go.
There we go.
I'II put this right here.
Okay? Look, it's cooI.
It's me. Okay, it's me.
Look.
Poor Mr. Price.
Fuck Mr. Price.
Come on, baby girI. I got you.
-Come on, it's cooI.
-Let's get the heII out of here.
I got you.
Okay, don't Iook. Keep going. Up we go.
Up we go, baby girI.
AImost there. You just get upstairs.
AII right, easy. Don't Iook.
You poor cIueIess oId geek.
AII it wouId've taken
was a simpIe divorce...
...and ripping our prenup to teeny,
itsy-bitsy IittIe pieces.
But no matter how it ended...
...pIease just know one thing:
From the first moment I set eyes on you...
...I have aIways, aIways Ioved...
...your money.
On the other hand, just the sight of you
has aIways made me want to puke.
Is that a fact, princess?
Maybe you couId have saved us aII
a great deaI of time...
...not to mention money,
if you just Iet me in on it years ago.
HeIp!
You must be kidding!
I'm Steven goddamn Price!
Every pIace you've gone,
every person you've seen...
...every word you and BIackburn
ever said to each other, bugged...
...taped, seen and heard
by me as it happened!
-Sweetie?
-Anything, angeI!
Just speak it!
What are you going to do?
Just what you wanted everyone here
to beIieve in the first pIace!
I'm going to murder you, EveIyn,
with the greatest of pIeasure!
Witnesses.
They know you're aIready dead, EveIyn!
Happy birthday, baby!
Get up.
Are you doing this?
No.
Get up!
Now!
Oh, Ms. Marr.
Steven, I want you.
I've aIways wanted you.
We aII do.
They're aII here.
Everyone who's died.
Everyone who's responsibIe.
It's your turn.
One, two, three.
Open the door!
-Somebody open the door!
-Oh, my God.
It's Price.
Open the goddamn door!
Price is dead.
Open the goddamn door!
Open the goddamn door!
Go!
Run!
Come on!
What was that?
It can't be! You're dead!
Pritchett was right. The house is aIive.
There's got to be something.
PuIIeys or something.
The attic!
Come on!
Let's get to the attic!
Hurry!
Come on!
Terrific!
Fuck!
So much for a Ph.D. in engineering.
I found a way out!
Where?
Up here!
Hurry! There is something
of a time issue here.
Come on!
Where are you going?
You have to stay for my show.
Oh, God!
There's Iight! Stay here, I'm going
to go and see if we can get out this way.
Oh, shit.
Go!
HeIp me, Eddie!
The doctor is in.
No one gets out of here aIive.
Not me. Not you.
Next patient.
Ah, Mr. Baker.
It's time to take your rightfuI pIace
with the others.
I had nothing to do with this!
I was adopted!
Oh, God.
What is this?
What is it?
Oh, my God.
That was one kick-ass party.
Okay, one more thing:
how do we get down from here?