Mad Monster Party (1969) Movie Script
[ Shrieking ]
AHH, A LIFETIME
OF EXPERIMENTATION...
CAPPED IN ONE SMALL VIAL.
NOW TO THE FINAL STEP-
THE INFUSION OF ENERGY.
AH, THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE-
MINE!
IT MUST WORK.
A TEST-
I MUST TEST IT!
[ Squawking ]
HA-HA-HA.
"QUOTH THE RAVEN,
'NEVERMORE.'"
AH, I'VE DONE IT-
CREATED THE MEANS
TO DESTROY MATTER.
THEY MUST ALL KNOW,
KNOW THAT I,
BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN,
MASTER OF THE SECRE OF CREATION,
HAVE NOW MASTERED THE SECRE OF DESTRUCTION.
THE INVITATIONS
MUST BE SENT AT ONCE.
[ Squeaking ]
HA, OH WHAT A FINE PARTY WE'LL
HAVE WHEN THEY ALL ARRIVE,
EH, MY BOY?
[ Groaning ]
THE FULL MOON
BRINGS OU THE MONSTER IN YOU
A STRANGE TUNE
SEEMS TO BE PLAYING
FOR YOU
COULD YOU BE
SOMEONE'S INVENTION
SO UNREAL
AS YOU FEEL TONIGHT
DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO THE DEVIL
AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
MAD, MAD, MAD
MONSTER PARTY
DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO MEPHISTOPHELES
TELL ME, BABY, TELL ME
[ Ringing ]
TELL ME, PLEASE
YOU MADE A DATE
WITH THE DEVIL, NOT ME
IF YOU KNOW MY FATE, HONEY
LEVEL WITH ME
THE COLD NIGHT
BRINGS OUT THE CREATURE
IN YOU
A STRANGE LIGHT
SEEMS TO BE FALLING ON YOU
I KNOW IT'S NO YOUR INTENTION
TO FRIGHTEN ME SO TONIGHT
WON'T YOU TELL ME, BABY
WHAT HAPPENED
AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
MAD, MAD, MAD
MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
[ Man ]
FLANKEN!
FELIX!
TAKE IT OUT OF MY PAY,
MR. KRONKITE.
PAY?
WHAT PAY?
YOU HAVE TWO MORE MONTHS TO WORK FOR ME
FOR NOTHING BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN AS IT IS.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE
PHARMACY DEPARTMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
NEED I REMIND YOU
THAT THIS IS A DRUGSTORE?
THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING
AT THE LUNCH COUNTER.
SOMEONE IS BROWSING
THROUGH THE PAPERBACK BOOKS.
WE'VE GOT A WHOLE RACK FULL OF
THOSE VEEBLEFETZERS TO UNLOAD,
AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME
IN THE PHARMACY DEPARTMENT!
WHAT AM I NO PAYING YOU FOR, FELIX?
I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE. WHA WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO FIRST?
FIRST? WAIT ON THE
PEOPLE! [ Whistle Blows ]
MAILMAN!
THESE ARE FOR YOU,
MR. KRONKITE.
AND HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, FELIX.
HAS A REAL FANCY STAMP ON IT.
OH, LET'S SEE NOW.
"INVITED TO-"
[ Mumbling ]
OH, BOY!
"CONVENTION-
BIG GATHERING OF NOTABLES."
GOLLY! WOW!
FELIX, STOP YOUR MUMBLING AND TELL
US WHAT THE LETTER IS ALL ABOUT.
I'M INVITED TO AN ISLAND
IN THE CARIBBEAN,
TO TAKE PART IN A SCIENTIFIC
FIRST, A NEW DISCOVERY.
YOU? A MENTAL LAS TO A SCIENTIFIC FIRST?
I'VE SEEN POSTCARDS
OF THEM CARIBBEAN ISLANDS.
LOTS OF SUN,
WHITE BEACHES, PALM TREES,
SWIMMING POOLS IN THEM
BIG FANCY HOTELS, REALLY?
GOLF COURSES, TENNIS COURTS,
PRETTY GIRLS, NIGHT CLUBS. REALLY?
MR. KRONKITE, THE CONVENTION
IS ON THE 13th.
CAN I HAVE THIS WEEK OFF
TO GET THERE AND BACK?
AHA! I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU'D ASK THAT.
YOU'RE NOT DUE
FOR A VACATION YET.
BUT I HAVEN'T HAD ONE IN THREE
YEARS. PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.
IF YOU LEAVE, WHO'LL MAKE THE COFFEE,
WASH THE DISHES, MIND THE STORE?
PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.
PRETTY PLEASE?
HUH? A- A-
[ Sneezes ]
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I GET EXCITED.
ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
GO, GO!
TAKE A WEEK, A MONTH,
A YEAR!
BUT IT'S NOT YOUR VACATION,
IT'S MINE.
THANKS, MR. KRONKITE.
I SURE APPRECIATE-
I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE.
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
GO, GO, GO! GET OUT BEFORE
YOU WRECK THE WHOLE STORE!
DO YOU THINK FELIX
WILL GET THERE BY THE 13th?
BIRD-WATCHING AGAIN?
FANG, DO YOU FORGET?
THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A ROVING EYE,
I KEPT IT IN A JAR
FOR A WEEK!
AH-HA-HA-HA!
HA-HA-HA!
[ Groaning ]
DON'T GIVE ME ANY
OF YOUR BACK MUMBLE,
YOU, YOU, YOU... MONSTER!
OH, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
I KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME,
THAT YOU'D PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME
'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO COMPLAIN
BUT YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE
'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFEREN YOU'RE DIFFERENT
NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NO INCREDIBLY HANDSOME OR EVEN CHARMING
BUT YOU CAN BE SO
DISARMING
I THINK
IT'S SIMPLY ALARMING
YOU'RE DIFFEREN AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN
YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE
YES, YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA, DIFFERENT
LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE
LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE
YEAH, YOU'RE DIFFEREN YECH
YOU'RE DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU
HA-HA-HA-HA
NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NO INCREDIBLY HANDSOME OR EVEN CHARMING
BUT YOU CAN BE
SO DISARMING
THAT I FIND I SIMPLY ALARMING
YOU'RE DIFFEREN AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN
YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE
YES, YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA
DIFFEREN LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE
LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE
YEAH, YEAH
YOU'RE DIFFERENT
YOU'RE DIFFERENT
AND YOU KNOW THAT'S
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
[ Knocking On Door ]
COME IN.
GOOD MORNING, DOCTOR.
I'VE BROUGHT YOU YOUR MAIL.
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
YOU KNOW, SEEING YOU EVERY DAY
GIVES ME A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE.
IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF,
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE.
WHY, DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
[ Clears Throat ]
WE'VE RECEIVED REPLIES
FROM ALMOST ALL YOU INVITED:
DRACULA, WEREWOLF,
DR. JEKYLL,
THE HUNCHBACK,
CREATURE.
BUT WE HAVEN'T RECEIVED
A REPLY FROM...
FROM... IT.
WELL, I SHOULD HOPE
THAT WE DON'T.
YOU SEE, IT WASN'T INVITED. OH?
IT WAS A CRUSHING BORE
AT OUR LAST CONVENTION.
IT KEPT WALKING AROUND CRUSHING
BOARS, WILD BOARS, IN ITS HANDS.
VERY FRANKLY, FRANCESCA,
IT DISGUSTS EVEN ME.
I SEE.
DOCTOR, WE ALSO RECEIVED
A VERY STRANGE LETTER...
FROM SOMEONE WHO SAYS
HE'S ARRIVING ON THE 13th.
A FELIX... FLANKEN.
HE'S COMING? OH, THAT IS GOOD
NEWS! WHAT ELSE DOES HE WRITE?
"LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING ALL
THOSE FUN PEOPLE AT YOUR RESORT."
RESORT?
FUN PEOPLE?
HE DOESN'T MEAN DRACULA
AND THE WEREWOLF, SURELY!
YES, YES, GO ON, GO ON.
"CAN HARDLY WAIT TO DIP INTO THE
POOL IN THE FRONT OF YOUR RESORT...
AND LIE ON
YOUR BEAUTIFUL BEACH."
DOCTOR, DOES HE KNOW ABOU THE CROCODILES IN THE LAGOON...
AND THE QUICKSAND
ON THE BEACH?
WHO, OR WHAT,
IS THIS FLANKEN?
OH, DON'T BE ALARMED,
MY DEAR.
FELIX FLANKEN IS A MERE HUMAN,
AND HE'S UNAWARE OF THE NATURE
OF OUR LITTLE GATHERING.
BUT HE ALSO HAPPENS
TO BE MY NEPHEW.
YOUR NEPHEW? I THOUGHT YOU
HAD NO... LIVING RELATIVES.
FELIX IS THE CHILD
OF MY YOUNGEST SISTER.
SHE TURNED OUT TO BE
THE WHITE SHEEP OF THE FAMILY.
OH, TOO BAD. SHE HAD A
GREAT FLARE FOR WITCHCRAFT.
BUT THEN SHE ME THIS TRAVELING MEDICINE MAN,
CHUCK FLANKEN,
IN TRANSYLVANIA,
AND SHE ELOPED WITH HIM AND WEN TO THE UNITED STATES TO LIVE.
THEY'RE BOTH GONE NOW,
BUT THEIR SON, FELIX,
IS MY ONLY RELATIVE
AND HEIR.
BUT WHY ARE YOU INVITING HIM
TO THIS CONVENTION?
BECAUSE, MY DEAR,
I'M- I'M RETIRING.
YES. OH, DON'T LOOK
SO UNBELIEVING.
I'VE GROWN A LITTLE TIRED
OF THIS HORROR BUSINESS,
DOING BAD FOR OTHERS AND VERY
RARELY GETTING ANY BAD IN RETURN.
BUT NOW THAT I'VE MASTERED
MY GREATEST DISCOVERY,
I'D LIKE TO RETIRE
WHILE I'M ON TOP.
I SHALL TURN OVER ALL MY SECRETS TO
FELIX, INCLUDING MY LAST GREAT ONE,
AND THEN PRESENT HIM TO THE
CONVENTION AS MY SUCCESSOR.
[ Clock Chiming ]
AAAH!
[ Chimes ]
AAAH!
ON THEIR WAY TO THE ISLAND ABOUT NOW.
I'LL STILL HAVE TO SEE TO THEIR
ACCOMMODATIONS. YOU TIDY UP IN HERE.
OH, I DO HOPE YOU LIKE
FELIX FLANKEN WHEN YOU MEET HIM.
I WANT YOU TWO
TO BE FRIENDS.
FELIX FLANKEN-
LIKE HIM?
I'LL LOVE HIM
TO PIECES!
DID WE PICK UP ANY PASSENGERS
ON THIS STOP, CAPTAIN?
NOT YET. OUR ONLY PASSENGER IS
STILL THAT FUNNY GUY FROM LONDON.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
DR. JEKYLL.
DR. JEKYLL? THAT'S ODD. HE
TOLD ME HIS NAME WAS MR. HYDE.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HE PAID HIS
FARE. GET THIS LOADED ABOARD THE SHIP.
HOW, CAPTAIN?
THE CREW JUMPED SHIP.
WHAT? NO CREW?
I DID SHANGHAl A FEW LADS
LAST NIGHT,
BUT THEY'RE STILL IN
THE HOLD SLEEPING IT OFF.
EH, WHAT?
LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT THE TIDE BROUGHT IN.
[ Mumbles, Grunts ]
WHAT'S THAT, MATE? YOU WANT TO SIGN
ABOARD FOR PASSAGE TO THE ISLE OF EVIL?
[ Mumbles, Grunts ]
WELL, WE JUST MAY HAVE ROOM
FOR ANOTHER HAND ON BOARD,
BUT WE'RE NOT GOING
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL.
GET THIS LOADED
ABOARD THE SHIP.
[ Grunts ]
BLIMEY, HE'S AS STRONG
AS 50 MEN.
AND AS UGLY
AS ANY I'VE EVER SEEN.
HOW DO YOU DO,
GENTLEMEN?
COULD YOU TELL ME THE FARE
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL?
ANOTHER ONE? WE DON' USUALLY STOP AT THE ISLE OF-
THAT WILL BE
A HUNDRED BUCKS.
AND WITH YOUR FANCY CAPE
AND TUXEDO AND ALL,
I'D THINK
YOU COULD AFFORD IT.
CONSIDERING THE DILAPIDATED
CONDITION OF MY WALLET-
I MEAN, YOUR SHIP,
I THINK I HAD BETTER FLY.
ME EYES ARE PLAYING
TRICKS ON ME.
DID YOU SEE WHA I THINK I SAW, CAPTAIN?
IF I SAW WHAT YOU THINK
YOU SAW,
I'D SAY WE WERE BOTH
GOING BATTY.
PARDON ME, GENTLEMEN, BUT DOES THIS
PICKLED HERRING STOP AT THE ISLE OF EVIL?
BLIMEY, IT'S
ANOTHER ONE OF THEM.
WE'LL STOP, DON'T WORRY.
WE-WE'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT. NO
CHARGE FOR YOU. BE MY GUEST.
BUT PLEASE...
NONE OF YOUR SURPRISES.
GOLLY. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THOSE TWO?
HAVEN'T THEY EVER SEEN
A TOURIST BEFORE?
[ Howling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]
THE CAPTAIN SAID I COULD HAVE
ANY CABIN I WANTED.
NOW, LET ME SEE. A SOUTHERN
EXPOSURE WOULD BE NICE.
[ Gasps ]
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
SIR? UH, MA'AM?
[ Panting ]
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, BUT I CAN' SEE A THING WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
[ Panting ] LET ME HELP
YOU WITH YOUR FUR PIECE.
[ Whimpering ]
MADAM, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU.
DON'T GO! I CAN'T STAND A WOMAN CRYING.
I'LL HAVE TO GET AN EXTRA PAIR
OF GLASSES OUT OF MY LUGGAGE.
OHH! I'M SORRY, BUT I LOST MY
GLASSES AND CAN'T SEE A THING.
[ Chuckles ]
I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
[ Whistle Blows ]
GO BELOW, MATE AND INVITE OUR
PASSENGERS TO DINE WITH ME.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANNA DO THAT?
GO ON!
HOW DO YOU DO?
AAH, SORRY,
WRONG CABIN.
WHY DID I EVER DECIDE
TO GO TO SEA?
[ Gasps ]
FEET, IF YOU'VE EVER MOVED,
MOVE LIKE YOU'VE
NEVER MOVED BEFORE.
JEKYLL'S MY NAME.
DR. JEKYLL.
FELIX FLANKEN.
I'M A PHARMACIST.
[ Sneezes ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Sneezes, Coughs ]
[ Hiccupping ]
I'M-I'M ALSO ALLERGIC.
I HAVE A LITTLE ELIXIR THAT KEEPS
ME FEELING IN WONDERFUL METTLE.
UM, TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH.
[ Gagging ]
DR. JEKYLL,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
[ Growls ]
MY-MY GOODNESS,
YOU LOOK AWFUL.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NO SEASICK? DR. JEKYLL, I THINK-
HYDE, HYDE, HYDE.
[ Growls ]
HIDE? YOU WANT ME TO HIDE?
WELL, IF YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES,
YOU MUST BE FEELING BETTER.
BUT YOU CERTAINLY
DON'T LOOK IT.
OKAY, I'LL HIDE AND YOU
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND ME.
[ Bell Ringing ]
IF DR. JEKYLL DOESN'T FIND ME SOON, I
THINK I'LL GO TO MY CABIN AND TO BED.
[ Mumbling ]
[ Water Splashes ]
NOW, FRIENDS, YOU'LL DISCOVER
WHO WAS THE ORIGINAL BATMAN.
HMM, MY, BU IT'S GETTING CHILLY.
[ Howling ]
YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN IMPORTAN ASSIGNMENTS TO CARRY OUT.
AND I EXPECT EACH ONE OF YOU
TO DO HIS JOB.
I WANT EACH OF YOU...
TO STAY CALM AND COLLECTED NO
MATTER WHAT EMERGENCY ARISES.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE
ANYONE LOSING HIS HEAD.
I TAKE IT YOURS
WASN'T HOOKED ON.
ALL RIGHT, YETCH,
PICK IT UP.
PICK IT UP!
DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE COMING
OR GOING, DO YOU, YETCH?
I'M SO EXCITED, DOCTOR.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL
OF OUR OLD FRIENDS IN YEARS.
I GOT SO NERVOUS AND EXCITED
AND NERVOUS AND-
LET'S TRY NO TO GO TO PIECES, YETCH.
DOCTOR, A GROUP OF THE
CONVENTION PARTY HAS JUST ARRIVED.
GOOD.
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.
EVERYONE TO HIS POST.
WE MUST MAKE CERTAIN THAT I DOES NOT GET ONTO THE ISLAND.
TO YOUR CHECKPOINTS!
AH, FRANCESCA,
YOU BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE,
LOVEABLE CREATURE.
HOW MUCH I'VE WANTED
TO TOUCH YOU.
TAKE YOUR HANDS
AWAY FROM ME.
YOU... CREEP!
SHE NOTICED ME!
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
SHE NOTICED ME.
SHE TOLD ME TO CREEP,
SO I'LL CREEP.
I HEAR HER VOICE,
SO SOFT, SO SWEET.
WHEN I'M AWAKE
OR WHEN I SLEEP,
IT MAKES ME BURN
WITH PASSION'S HEAT...
TO HEAR HER SAY...
"YOU CREEP."
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU ZOMBIES?
DON'T JUST STAND THERE
LIKE UNION GRAVE DIGGERS.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN WANTS YOU
TO PATROL THE ISLAND!
STOP BEHAVING
LIKE A BUNCH OF GHOSTS!
GET INTO YOUR PLANES!
CONTACT!
OH, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL HAVE
TO TALK TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN...
ABOUT GETTING NEW AIRPLANES.
CONTACT AGAIN.
YEOW-W-W-W!
QUICKLY, INTO THE AIR,
ZOMBIE BIRD MAN!
I WISH DR. FRANKENSTEIN
HADN'T GROUNDED ME.
SOMEDAY I HOPE
HE'LL LET ME FLY AGAIN.
OH, WELL,
WE CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING.
I SHOULD BE HAPPY
THAT I STILL HAVE MY SICKNESS.
[ Organ ]
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I WOULD DARE COME HERE UNINVITED?
I DON'T KNOW. IT IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
OH, YOU GORGEOUS...
TANTALIZING CREATION!
[ Laughs ]
READY, BABY?
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
[ Mumbling ]
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CHIC,
YOU POOR INVENTION OF A MAN, YOU?
HERE COME THE LOVEBIRDS.
SPEAK KINDLY TO THEM,
FRANCESCA.
REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALL
ONE HAPPY FAMILY HERE.
OH, MY DEAR, YOU LOOK JUST... GHASTLY.
OH, DOCTOR!
OH, BROTHER!
YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME. OUR
GUESTS WILL BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT.
MY DEAR BARON,
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
MY DEAR COUNT,
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.
HOW IS OUR MONSTER
AND HIS CHARMING COMPANION?
MADAME, I MUST SAY YOU LOOK
THE PICTURE OF DECADENCE.
DON'T KISS!
YOU ALWAYS LEAVE MARKS!
MY APOLOGIES.
AND OF COURSE, FRANCESCA.
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS
BEEN MY TYPE-
O- NEGATIVE, ISN'T IT?
[ Door Closes ]
[ Howling, Barking ]
[ Sniffing, Howling ]
AH, WEREWOLF.
DELIGHTED YOU'RE HERE, WERE!
WOLFIE, YOU OLD DOG!
[ Laughs ]
THIS CONVENTION IS GOING
TO BE A HOWLING SUCCESS.
[ Howling ]
SEE, I TOLD YOU!
OUCH!
YOU NEED A MANICURE!
LOOK, HERE COMES
THE INVISIBLE MAN!
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
HA-HA-HA.
INVISIBLE MAN,
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU ARE LOOKING WELL,
I THINK. [ Chuckling ]
I AM WELL, COUNT.
AND YOU?
AHA, INVISIBLE MAN!
H- H-HOW DO YOU DO?
I WONDER HOW HE GO HIS INVITATION.
HE HAS AN UNLISTED TOMB!
HA-HA-HA!
DIDN'T I SEE HIM AT THE TRANSYLVANIA
GARDENS IN THE MAIN EVENT?
THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME
AIN'T A BOXER.
[ Bride ] AFRAID IT'LL RUIN
HIS LOOKS, HUH? HA-HA-HA!
DR. JEKYLL. GOOD SHOW, DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
AND WHERE IS MR. HYDE?
[ Gagging ]
GOOD SHOW,
DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
WHATEVER HE'S DRINKING, I'LL
HAVE IT WITH GINGER. [ Crunching ]
FANG, DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY COUTH?
HA-HA-HA.
IT'S ME...
YOUR DON JUAN.
I "DON JUAN"
TO LOOK AT YOU.
I LOVE YOUR EYES,
I LOVE YOUR CHIN,
I LOVE THE SHAPE
THEY PUT YOU IN.
AND WHEN I GET TO FEEL
YOUR TOUCH,
I ACHE FOR YOU
SO VERY MUCH.
THIS CHOPPED LIVER
SMELLS FISHY.
IT'S NOT THE CHOPPED LIVER,
COUNT.
IT'S THE PICKLED SALMON.
YECH!
[ Sniffing ]
[ Chuckling ]
OH SOLA MIA
OH SOLA YOU-A
I'M-A THE WORLD'S
BEST-A CHEF
YOU BET-A YOU MOOLA
CHEF MACHIAVELLI,
HOW ARE YOU, MAESTRO?
HEY, YETCH, WHAT-A
YOU DO-A IN MY KITCHEN?
YOU-A NO GOOD SNAKE IN-A
THE GRASS. YOU-A DIRTY SWINE!
YOU-A UGLY RAT! THANK
YOU FOR THOSE KIND WORDS.
I HOPE I CAN LIVE UP
TO THEM.
THIS-A YETCH-
HE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A NUT.
KEEP-A YOUR HANDS OUT-A MY SALAD
BEFORE I THROW-A YOU OUT-A MY KITCHEN.
WHAT-A YOU DOING
IN-A HERE ANYWAY, EH?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN ASKED ME
TO CHECK...
ON HOW THE PREPARATIONS FOR
THE FEAST WERE PROGRESSING,
AND WHAT THE MENU
WOULD BE.
FIRST-A WE HAVE-A
THE SALAD-A
HERE HAVE A TASTE-A
MMM, DELICIOUS.
WHAT KIND IS IT?
IT'S-A MY OWN CHEF'S SALAD-A.
THE MAFIA MACHIAVELLI SPECIAL.
I MAKE-A IT WITH POISON IVY,
TOADSTOOLS AND POISON BERRIES.
OH, IT'S-A GOOD, NO?
I GOT-A THREE KINDS-A
DRESSINGS THAT-A GO WITH IT.
ARSENIC, CYANIDE,
AND-A THIS ONE YOU'D GE A BIG BANG OUT-A, YETCH.
WHAT IS IT?
NITRO GLYCERINE!
[ Laughing ]
I MAKE-A JOKE, YOU KNOW?
THEN WE HAVE THE ANTIPASTO
BLACK WIDOWS PICKLED
IN THEIR OWN POISON,
SMOKED LIZARDS AND SNAKES
AND MARINATED MICE.
TRY-A SOME.
IT LOOKS SO GOOD.
MMM, YUM-YUM.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
IT'S-A NOTHING.
JUST A PINCH-A THIS
A PINCH-A THAT
A PINCH OF THIS
A PINCH OF THAT
OUCH! STOP ALREADY
WITH THE PINCHING.
SORRY ABOUT THAT, YETCH.
AND THAT'S THE SOUP.
OCTOPUS SOUP ALA MAFIA.
OCTOPUS SOUP.
YOU MEAN REAL OCTOPUS SOUP?
WHAT, YOU THINK I'M-A
KIDDING? [ Whistles ]
HELP! HELP!
LET ME DOWN!
SEE? THAT'S REAL OCTOPUS
SOUP. [ Whistles ]
MMM, THAT SOUP
IS VERY STRONG.
HURRY UP-A AND GET-A
YOU FINGERS BACK IN-A THE POT.
AND FOR THE MAIN-A COURSE,
I MAKE-A BOARS HEAD,
ROAST-A VULTURE,
AND A MINCE HYENA CASSEROLE.
HERE, YOU GOTTA TRY
THE HYENA CASSEROLE.
IT'S-A TERRIFIC, NO?
NO, THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING. WHAT?
SOMETHING MISSING?
THE CASSEROLE
OF-A ME, MAFIA MACHIAVELLI,
THE GREATEST CHEF EVER-
SOMETHING MISSING?
MAFIA, CALM YOURSELF.
CHEF, PLEASE SIMMER DOWN.
I BUST-A YOU HEAD.
I BROKE-A YOU NOSE.
I SQUEEZE OUT YOUR EYES.
GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!
I THINK I BETTER TELL DR.
FRANKENSTEIN THAT DINNER IS READY.
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
AS YOUR LEADER, I HAVE CALLED YOU
FROM THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH...
TO WITNESS MY GREATES AND LATEST DISCOVERY.
I HAVE THE SECRE TO THE FORMULA...
WHICH CAN COMPLETELY
DESTROY ALL MATTER.
A FEW DROPS
FROM THIS VIAL...
CAN DEMATERIALIZE ANYTHING,
ANYBODY, ANY PLACE!
I'D GIVE MY EYE TEETH...
TO POSSESS THAT SECRET.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, WOLFIE?
[ Panting ]
[ Thinking ] I CAN MAKE
THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS MINE...
BEFORE HE BESTOWS THEM
ON THAT... FELIX FLANKEN.
AND I CAN USE DRACULA
TO HELP ME.
BABY, FRANCESCA IS UP
TO SOMETHING WITH THAT DRACULA.
THEY BOTH BEAR WATCHING.
BESIDES, IT'S HER OWN FAUL FOR THINKING SO LOUD.
I ALSO WISH TO TELL YOU THA I AM RESIGNING AS YOUR LEADER.
[ Everyone Grumbling ]
YES, AND TOMORROW NIGHT...
I SHALL NAME MY SUCCESSOR...
AND TURN OVER ALL MY SECRETS,
INCLUDING MY LATEST, TO HIM.
WHO IS MORE EVIL,
TREACHEROUS OR SNEAKY THAN ME?
I AM HIS LOGICAL SUCCESSOR.
NOW IF THERE WAS ONLY SOMETHING
I COULD DO TO BE SURE OF THAT.
WHO COULD BE CLOSER TO DR.
FRANKENSTEIN THAN ME AND FANG?
WHY, HE CREATED US!
FRANCESCA! I'LL SEE TO I THAT SHE'S NOT HIS SUCCESSOR.
THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.
HAVE A FRIGHTFUL TIME, AND
I SHALL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.
WELL, I LEAVE YOU NOW
IN THE CAPABLE HANDS...
OF LITTLE TIBIA
AND THE FIBULAS.
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
THEY'RE PLAYING YOUR SONG,
HONEY. LET'S DANCE.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT
TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT
MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE
ALL WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF
TONIGHT
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT
TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT
MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE
ALL WRAPPED UP
IN HIMSELF TONIGHT
COUNT, PSST.
I MUST TALK TO YOU ALONE...
OUT ON THE BALCONY.
EXCUSE ME, WOLFIE, BUT I
THINK ROMANCE IS CALLING.
[ Chuckling ]
AH, YES, MY DEAR.
NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE,
WHAT WILL IT BE?
A QUICK NIP ON THE EAR?
A PLAYFUL BITE ON THE NECK?
COUNT, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BEEN
DRINKING. NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.
NOT WHAT I LIKE TO DRINK
BEST OF ALL.
COME, LET ME KISS YOU.
WOMEN HAVE DIED FOR ONE
OF MY KISSES. I'M TERRIFIC!
STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS. YOU'RE
AS BAD AS THAT ZOMBIE, YETCH.
BESIDES, I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN THAT SORT OF THING.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOU DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S SECRETS.
AH, YES? I KNOW WHO WILL
BE THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.
AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME
ALL ABOUT THIS?
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE. I'M CRUSHED!
NEITHER AM I.
DON'T TELL ME IT'S THA FLEA-BITTEN WEREWOLF. NO.
NOT OLD GAUZE FACE, THE MUMMY? NO.
HMPH, IT'S THAT OVERGROWN GOON,
THE MONSTER.
NO, IT'S NO ONE YOU KNOW. THEN WHO?
[ Chuckles ]
FIRST WE MAKE A DEAL.
IF YOU WILL... GET RID
OF THIS WOULD-BE SUCCESSOR,
THEN AS HIS RIGHTFUL HEIR,
I WILL BE GIVEN THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS
AND I SHALL SHARE THEM WITH YOU.
WHY OF COURSE. A HALF A LOAF IS
BETTER THAN TWO IN THE BUSHES.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
THEN I SHALL GET RID OF YOU AND
HAVE ALL THE SECRETS TO MYSELF.
THEN IT'S A BARGAIN?
A BARGAIN.
IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YEAH
OUR TURN IN LINE
EVERYBODY GETS ONE CHANCE
IN LIFE
[ Chorus ]
ONE CHANCE IN LIFE
TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS
COME TRUE
I CAN DO IT WITH YOU
IT'S OUR TIME
YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE
OUR TIME TO SHINE
IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES
A BIT OF WINE
WE HAVE DRUNK YOU LONG ENOUGH,
MY FRIEND ENOUGH MY FRIEND
AND NOW IT'S TIME
TO PROVE
WE CAN MAKE
THE RIGHT MOVE
IT'S OUR TIME
YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE
OUR TIME TO SHINE
YOU AND ME
WHAT A PAIR WE'LL MAKE
TODAY THE WORLD IS
OURS TO TAKE
NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW
WE'RE GONNA WIN AND HOW
BECAUSE
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
YES
OUR TURN IN LINE
SPIN THE WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP
IT MUST COME UP
WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY
LISTEN, WORLD, WHEN WE SAY
IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
TAKE IT!
[ Tapping ]
BECAUSE IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES
OUR TURN IN LINE
SPIN THAT WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP
IT MUST COME UP
WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY
LISTEN, WORLD
WHEN WE SAY
OH, IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
NOW, TELL ME,
WHO IS THIS SUCCESSOR?
THE DOCTOR'S NEPHEW,
FELIX FLANKEN.
THIS FLINKEN, FLUNKY,
WHATEVER HE CALLS HIMSELF,
WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER
IS HE?
A GHOUL? A DEMON? A SPOOK OR
- A HUMAN.
THEY'RE THE WORST KIND!
HE MUST BE DONE AWAY WITH.
[ Francesca ]
THE MONSTER'S MATE!
SHE MUST'VE BEEN HIDING BEHIND THE
DRAPES WHILE WE WERE OUT ON THE BALCONY.
THEN SHE HEARD EVERYTHING!
EASY NOW, DARLINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
DO NOT BE AFRAID. ONE QUICK
BITE, AND IT SHALL ALL BE-
AAAH! JUST WATCH WHERE YOU
GRAB. REMEMBER, I'M A COUNT.
AHA! DON'T CUT OUT NOW JUS WHEN THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.
WHO SAID THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED?
[ Screeching ]
STOP ACTING SO IMPETUOUSLY.
YOU'RE WRINKLING MY CAPE.
THIS IS A RENTED TUXEDO!
WELL, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING TO DO
WHEN YOU'RE IN SUCH A PREDICAMENT. HELP!
HELP!
[ Crashing Sounds ]
WELL, WELL...
AS A MONSTER YOU'RE NOTHING!
BUT AS A FRUIT SALAD-
YOU LOOK A LITTLE
UNCOMFORTABLE OUT OF WATER.
HOPE THIS MAKES
YOU FEEL MORE AT HOME.
[ Yetch ] YECH! NO
WONDER YOU'RE INVISIBLE!
YOU'RE UGLY AND REVOLTING
AND DISGUSTING AND-
WHEN I GET HOLD OF
THAT TWO-LEGGED HERRING,
I'LL MAKE HIM
INTO CHOPPED HERRING!
WHAT A FRIGHT.
BEST MONSTER RALLY
I EVER ATTENDED.
OH, LOST YOUR HEAD?
HERE, WAIT TILL YOU SEE
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
AAAH!
YOU SCARED ME.
YOU DOG, YOU!
COME BACK WITH MY BONE!
[ Hiccups ]
PUNCH, ANYONE?
[ Snoring ]
[ Gurgling ]
I SAY, IT'S RAINING.
[ Snoring ]
IT'S THE CREATURE'S DOING.
I'LL FIX THAT.
[ Gagging ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Howling ]
WHAT? WHERE?
WHAT WAS THAT?
[ Howling ]
HMM, A FULL MOON.
[ Laughs ]
THE POOR DOG,
HE CAN'T HELP IT.
[ Howling ]
[ Howling ]
I'LL NEVER SLEEP TONIGHT.
THAT OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.
[ Muffled Howling ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Mumbling ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Mutters ]
[ Muttering ]
[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]
GOOD-BYE! GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
I WONDER WHY THE CAPTAIN
WOULDN'T DOCK HIS SHIP.
HE SEEMED NERVOUS AND ACTED
FUNNY MOST OF THE TRIP.
AND THOSE SAILORS-
BOY, ARE THEY LAZY.
IMAGINE NOT WANTING
TO ROW TO THE ISLAND.
[ Sneezes ]
EVERYONE MUST HAVE HAD HIMSELF
QUITE A TIME LAST NIGHT.
- THERE WAS NOTHING BUT A HUGE PILE OF LEFTOVERS.
- I WONDER WHO IT WAS.
THIS WILL BE THE BEST CONVENTION
WE'VE EVER HAD.
WITHOUT IT TO SPOIL THE FUN,
WITH MY NEPHEW PRESENT,
THIS WILL TRULY BE
A MOMENTOUS EVENT.
AH, THERE'S MY NEPHEW
IN THAT ROW BOAT.
FELIX! FELIX, MY BOY!
WAVE, FRANCESCA, WAVE!
MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME.
UNCLE BORIS!
WELL, HERE I AM.
FELIX!
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
LET ME HELP YOU
GROUND THE BOAT.
PLEASE, UNCLE,
LET ME DO IT MYSELF.
GIVE ME YOUR HAND,
FELIX.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I TRIPPED,
BUT- OOPS!
I THINK YOU TWO SHOULD GREE EACH OTHER ON DRY LAND.
[ Laughs ]
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.
FELIX, FRANCESCA,
MY SECRETARY.
HELLO, AND THANKS
FOR THE HELP IN THE WATER.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I JUST SLIPPED AND-
LET'S GET INTO SOME
DRY CLOTHES, FELIX.
THEN WE'LL HAVE A CHANCE
TO CHAT AND GET ACQUAINTED.
MY MOTOR LAUNCH IS IN
THE COVE UNDER THOSE ROCKS.
IT'LL TAKE US RIGH INTO MY CASTLE.
FELIX, YETCH WILL TAKE YOUR BAGS
AND SEE YOU TO YOUR ROOM.
CHANGE INTO SOME DRY CLOTHES...
AND THEN FRANCESCA WILL
SHOW YOU AROUND THE ISLAND.
WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME
TO TALK LATER.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME,
UNCLE BORIS.
I'M ANXIOUS TO LEARN OF THIS
SCIENTIFIC FIRST YOU WROTE ABOUT.
DID ANYONE SEE YOU
COME HERE? NOT AT ALL.
AND WE DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOU THE MONSTER OR HIS MATE FOR A WHILE.
SHE'S STILL RECUPERATING
FROM LAST NIGHT'S CELEBRATION.
MAY I SAY THAT YOUR
LEFT HOOK IS SENSATIONAL?
POW, POW.
FORGET LAST NIGHT.
FLANKEN IS HERE.
AND I DON'T THINK
WE'LL HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE...
ELIMINATING HIM
AS THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.
I'M TAKING HIM ON A
PICNIC TOUR THIS AFTERNOON.
NOW, THIS IS THE WAY
WE'LL BE GOING.
THERE ARE THREE GOOD PLACES
FOR AN AMBUSH.
THE FIRST ONE IS ABOUT-
IT'S NICE OF YOU TO SHOW ME
AROUND LIKE THIS, FRANCESCA.
THE GROUNDS ARE LOVELY.
SUCH UNUSUAL FLORA AND FAUNA.
YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
YOU LIKE IT AND IT LIKES YOU.
[ Howling ]
[ Growling ]
HEY, BOY! HEY!
HO, THERE, BOY!
OH, NICE FELLA.
ALL RIGHT, GO FETCH, BOY!
[ Howling ]
THERE'S A GOOD BOY.
THAT'S NOT A "GOOD BOY." THAT WAS
A WEREWOLF! WEREN'T YOU FRIGHTENED?
FRIGHTENED? NO!
I'VE GOT A WAY WITH PETS.
[ Francesca ]
YES.
OH, DEAR, THIS POOR SICK
FELLOW SEEMS TO BE IN TROUBLE.
HIS BANDAGES ARE FALLING
OFF. MAYBE I CAN HELP.
I WAS TOP MAN IN FIRST AID
IN MY BOY SCOUT TROOP.
THERE YOU ARE.
REMIND ME NEVER TO SPRAIN
MY ANKLE WHEN YOU'RE AROUND.
CALL ME IF YOU WAN THE DRESSING CHANGED.
[ Buzzing ]
INSECTS!
IT'S A GOOD THING I CAME
PREPARED WITH MY INSECT REPELLANT.
YECH!
WHY DON'T WE STOP RIGHT HERE AND
HAVE OUR PICNIC UNDER THIS TREE?
THAT'S FINE WITH ME. WHAT KIND
OF SANDWICH WOULD YOU LIKE?
HAVE YOU GOT A WATERCRESS
ON WHEAT?
OR BETTER STILL, A PARSLEY ON
PUMPERNICKEL IS VERY HEALTHY.
RIGHT, UH, WHY DON'T YOU LOOK IN
THE BASKET AND SEE WHAT YOU LIKE?
WHAT'S THIS?
CHEESE! OH, BUT WITH
MAYO. I DON'T LIKE MAYO.
BUT WHAT'S THIS?
CHEESE WITHOUT MAYO!
OH, BUT IT'S
ON WHEAT TOAST.
WHAT'S THIS? NO.
OR THIS-
OH, MAYBE THIS.
NOW, ORDINARILY, I LIKE
CHEESE ON WHEAT LIKE THIS,
BUT I LIKE IT WRAPPED
IN WAXED PAPER.
I MUST HAVE MY FOOD
ABSOLUTELY SANITARY.
I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY.
WHY DON'T WE JUST LIE HERE?
[ Crashing ]
[ Slurring ] PERMI ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM COUNT DRACULA.
RIGHT THIS WAY, FELIX.
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE AN
INTERESTING CASTLE, UNCLE BORIS.
WHAT'S THIS? AND THOSE?
OH, A YOUTHFUL FOLLY.
WILBUR AND ORVILLE SPEN A HOLIDAY HERE WITH ME.
WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT?
WILBUR AND ORVILLE
VON FRANKENSTEIN.
YOUR UNCLES, FELIX.
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.
WELL, DO YOU FLY THEM,
UNCLE? OH, NOT FOR YEARS NOW.
AH, BUT WE DID HAVE GAY TIMES FRIGHTENING
THE CRUISE SHIPS PASSING THE ISLAND.
[ Chuckles ]
BUT COME THIS WAY.
THIS IS THE LABORATORY WHERE
I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE...
AND MADE
MOST OF MY DISCOVERIES.
THOSE EXPERIMENTS BROUGHT ME
A GREAT DEAL OF JOY.
BEING A MAN OF SCIENCE, YOU
UNDERSTAND. OH, OF COURSE.
WELL, YOU SEE, UNCLE,
I'M A PHARMACIST.
AH, THEN YOU MUST HAVE CONDUCTED
EXPERIMENTS OF YOUR OWN.
OH, YES.
MY FUDGE QUADRUPLE-MULTIFLAVORED-DECKER
A LA MODE WAS A WILD EXPERIMENT.
MR. KRONKITE TURNED GREEN
AFTER HE ATE IT.
YES, OF COURSE. [ Clears
Throat ] WELL. HMM.
WELL, AFTER I RETIRE, YOU'LL HAVE ALL
THE TIME TO EXPERIMENT THAT YOU WANT.
AFTER YOU RETIRE?
YES, MY BOY.
I'M TURNING OVER TO YOU MY SECRETS AND DISCOVERIES
- THE ENTIRE BUSINESS!
OH, BUT UNCLE,
I ALREADY HAVE A JOB,
AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
OH, DON'T WORRY, FELIX.
MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS
YOUR MOTHER.
FRANKENSTEIN BLOOD FLOWS THROUGH
YOUR VEINS. YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE.
JUST WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS?
I AM THE HEAD OF THE WORLDWIDE
ORGANIZATION OF MONSTERS.
M- M-M-MONSTERS?
[ Chuckling Nervously ]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "MONSTERS."
YES, MONSTERS. YOU KNOW,
[ Chittering ]
WITCHES, WARLOCKS, DEMONS,
GHOULS, ZOMBIES,
CREATURES, VAMPIRES.
MONSTERS.
UNCLE, I MAY HAVE
THE BLOOD FOR THE JOB,
BUT I SURE DON'T HAVE
THE STOMACH FOR IT.
I KNOW, MY BOY,
BUT CONSIDER THIS.
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
WHEN THEY TELL YOU
READ PAGE ONE
READ THREE MORE
AND YOU'LL FIND
THAT THE VERY NEXT DAY WHEN YOU
ARE DONE THE GROUP IS WAY BEHIND
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
WHY NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF
STAY AWAY FROM THE PACK
WHEN YOU'RE READY TO FLY THEY'LL STAR TO CRY AND WISH THEY HAD THE KNACK
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
YOU GOTTA GET UP
FROM THAT BED
AND START A LITTLE AHEAD
OR SOME OTHER BRIGHT GUY
WILL STEAL THE PIE
COME ON, BOY
USE YOUR HEAD
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
KEEP YOUR HEAD
OUT OF THE SAND
PICK THE APPLE THAT'S RIPE
OR THE VERY NEXT DAY
IT'S GOING TO FALL
IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HAND
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY, AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP
AHEAD
AH, YES. I WAS YOUNG
ONCE MYSELF. [ Chuckles ]
I KNOW THERE ARE MORE GLAMOROUS
OCCUPATIONS IN THE WORLD.
BUT REMEMBER,
THIS IS A FAMILY BUSINESS.
THERE'S A TRADITION
TO UPHOLD.
YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT AT FIRST, BU AFTER YOU'VE WORKED AT IT A WHILE,
I'M SURE YOU'LL GROW
TO LOVE IT AS I HAVE.
REALLY, UNCLE? I DON' WANT TO SEEM UNGRATEFUL,
BUT I WOULD LIKE
TO THINK IT OVER.
OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND.
I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT, AS HEAD
OF THE MONSTERS, YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS POWER,
AND WITH MY SECRETS,
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO THINGS
YOU NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLE.
I'LL REMEMBER.
IS THERE ANY PLACE ON THE
ISLAND WHERE I CAN FISH?
I DO MY BEST THINKING
WHEN I'M FISHING.
SURELY! THE MOAT AROUND THE
CASTLE HAS PLENTY OF FISH.
THINK OVER WHAT I'VE OFFERED YOU,
MY BOY. THINK IT OVER CAREFULLY.
I'M SURE YOU'LL REACH
THE RIGHT DECISION.
ME- HEAD OF ALL
THE MONSTERS IN THE WORLD?
[ Sneezes Violently ]
[ Coughing ]
THREE CHANCES- THREE!
YOU HAD THREE CHANCES TO GE FLANKEN, AND YOU BLEW 'EM ALL.
- THE GREAT COUNT DRACULA.
- I'LL GET HIM!
AND BEFORE THIS DAY IS OVER.
DON'T WORRY.
I AM WORRIED. IF YOU CAN'T CARRY
OUT YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN,
WHY SHOULD I KEEP MINE?
- I'M SURE THAT SOMEONE ELSE
IS- - [ Grumbling ] FORGET THAT.
I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HIM!
AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE...
THAT YOU WILL GE THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS?
[ Knocking ] [ Dracula ] COME IN!
FRANCESCA!
WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?
- WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
- A DOUBLE-CROSS!
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT-
THE RED CROSS? AH-HA-HA!
WHY SHOULD WE SHARE
THE SECRETS WITH YOU?
IF YOU'RE NOT AROUND,
THE MONSTER WILL GET THEM,
AND WE'LL MAKE MUCH BETTER
PARTNERS FOR DRACULA.
BETTER PARTNERS? NOT AROUND?
WE CAN'T LET HER GO, BABIES.
SHE'LL GO STRAIGH TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN!
YOU CAN'T OUTSMART ME.
YOU'LL NEVER GET-
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
SHE ESCAPED!
WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO NOW?
WE MUST STOP HER
BEFORE SHE TELLS THE BARON,
OR HE'LL TURN US
INTO ERECTOR SETS!
THOUGHT THEY COULD
GET RID OF ME, DID THEY?
THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOU THE SECRET PASSAGE.
I'LL SHOW THEM.
I'LL SHOW THE BARON TOO.
THEY ALL BETRAYED ME,
BUT NOW I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE.
[ Squeaking ]
HUH! UP, MY PETS.
I NEED ONE OF YOU TO FLY ON
A VERY SPECIAL MISSION FOR ME.
FLY, MY LOVELY.
GO SWIFTLY,
AND TAKE MY MESSAGE.
THEY'LL ALL SOON SEE THA I'M NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.
GOSH. FELIX FLANKEN, CHAIRMAN OF
THE BOARD OF MONSTERS, INCORPORATED.
I CAN'T DO IT.
I JUST CAN'T DO IT.
I COULD NEVER FACE
THAT BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
I'LL HAVE TO TELL UNCLE BORIS-
WELL, I'LL TELL HIM THAT MY
ALLERGIES PREVENT ME FROM UNDERTAKING-
[ Gasping ] I MEAN,
ACCEPTING- THE POSITION.
OH, BUT HE WON'T LIKE IT.
MAYBE I CAN TALK HIM
OUT OF RETIRING.
HONEY, I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A
BIG MISTAKE, RUNNING OUT LIKE THIS.
WELL, UNTIL YOU GE A BETTER IDEA.
RIGHT NOW I THINK
I'LL TAKE A COFFIN BREAK.
IF WE STAY TOGETHER,
WE CAN STILL STOP FRANCESCA.
THAT'S IT! WHY DON' WE GO DOWN THE TRAPDOOR?
MAYBE SHE'S STILL
AT THE OTHER END.
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA,
IF I KNEW WHAT WAS A THE OTHER END OF THAT TRAPDOOR.
YOU'LL FIND OUT IN A MINUTE.
FANG, SEE TO IT THA THE COUNT ENJOYS HIS TRIP.
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
NOW, JUST A SECOND, I-
REMEMBER... I'M A COU-
IF I COULD ONLY FIND THE DOCTOR'S
FORMULA FOR DESTROYING MATTER,
I CAN RULE ALL THE OTHERS.
[ Thudding ]
- WHAT-
- WE MEET AGAIN, FRANCESCA.
I THOUGHT IT RATHER RUDE OF YOU TO
LEAVE US WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.
- DON'T ANY OF YOU COME NEAR ME.
- STOP BEHAVING LIKE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!
PUT THAT TORCH DOWN. YES,
WE CAN STILL MAKE A DEAL.
MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU?
NOT AS LONG AS I'VE GO WOLFSBANE FOR YOU, VAMPIRE,
AND A TORCH FOR YOU, MONSTER.
OR IS IT A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE AND WOLFSBANE
FOR A MONSTER? OR WOLFSBANE FOR A WEREWOLF...
AND A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE?
NO, IT'S A STAKE THROUGH THE HEART FOR A
VAMPIRE AND A SILVER BULLET FOR A MONSTER-
I'LL TAKE THE TORCH.
YOU GET THE WOLFSBANE.
[ Howls In Pain ] I TOLD
YOU YOU'D NEVER GET ME.
BUT ALL OF YOU WILL SOON
BE GETTING YOURS.
[ Splashing ]
CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU
BUTTERFINGERS? YOU LET HER GET AWAY!
[ Metallic Clank ]
[ Moaning ]
THAT SMARTS!
I WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH
ABOUT HER.
THE CROCODILES IN THE LAGOON
SHOULD FINISH OUR JOB.
AH-HA-HA, HA-HA-HA!
[ Screeching ]
YOU- FELIX.
F- F-FRANCESCA!
FLANKEN HAS JUST RESCUED
FRANCESCA FROM THE MOAT!
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE GONNA DO
THE BALLET FROM "SWAMP LAKE."
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA,
HA-AH!
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
FINISHED PACKING MY COFFIN.
DON'T PANIC AGAIN, BABIES.
LET'S CALL ALL THE MONSTERS
TOGETHER...
AND HAVE THEM HELP US
GET FRANCESCA...
AND THIS, UH- THIS FLANKEN!
[ Sobbing ] EVERYTHING WAS FINE
UNTIL YOU CAME TO THIS ISLAND.
NOW YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING, AND
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
[ Sobbing ] FRANCESCA,
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW.
F- F-FRANCESCA. FRANCESCA.
OH, IT'S SHOCK. YOU'RE
HYSTERICAL! CALM DOWN.
[ Continues Sobbing ]
I HATE TO DO THIS.
OOH!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- OH, FELIX.
- YOU'RE NOT MAD?
[ Passionately ]
OH, FELIX.
I THINK YOU'RE
STILL HYSTERICAL!
OH, FELIX, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
I'VE BEEN SUCH A FOOL.
[ Romantic Music Swells ]
FRANCESCA, DOES YOUR HEAD
FEEL LIGHTER THAN AIR? YES.
DOES YOUR THROAT FEEL
PARCHED,
AND DO YOU SORT OF TINGLE
ALL OVER? OH, YES. YES, FELIX.
THEN YOU MUST HAVE...
ALLERGIES TOO.
HERE, TRY SOME OF MY PILLS.
OH, FELIX, DARLING.
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
YOU MAY HAVE MET
NEVER GAVE YOU LOVE
YOU'RE GONNA GET
THERE NEVER WAS A TORCH
THAT BURNED SO BLUE
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
ALL THE LOVE
YOU MAY HAVE READ ABOUT
HONEY, YOU CAN JUS FORGET ABOUT
THERE NEVER WAS
A SCREEN ROMANCE FOR TWO
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
TELL ME A THOUSAND TIMES
EACH DAY
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LOVED
THIS WAY
SWEAR TO ME
YOU'LL NEVER ROAM, DEAR
PROMISE ME
YOU'LL STAY AT HOME, DEAR
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
LITTLE CUPIDS
WITH THEIR BOWS AND SUCH
NEVER SHOT AN ARROW
THAT MEANT MUCH
TO ANY LITTLE LOVE
FOR ANY TWO
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
BABY, FOR YOU
YEAH
[ Smooching ]
FELIX, DARLING, WE'VE GOT TO GET OFF THIS
ISLAND IN A HURRY. WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DRACULA AND THE MONSTER ARE OUT TO GET YOU AND
ME BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED HIM.
WELL,
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,
AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT,
WHETHER MY UNCLE LIKES I OR NOT.
I'LL JUST TELL THEM THAT.
THEY WON'T LISTEN TO YOU
OR YOUR UNCLE NOW.
THEY'VE ALREADY GONE TOO FAR.
BESIDES, SOMETHING MUCH MORE HORRIBLE AND
DEADLY WILL BE THREATENING THIS ISLAND SOON.
WHAT? NEVER MIND. WE'VE
GOT TO LEAVE HERE NOW.
WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO ANYONE?
FELIX, I'VE A BOAT HIDDEN AT THE OTHER
END OF THE ISLAND TO HELP US ESCAPE.
YOU MUST COME NOW.
OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
AND SO I SAY,
BROTHER MONSTERS,
UNLESS WE CAN STOP
FELIX FLANKEN...
FROM SUCCEEDING THE BARON,
THEN OUR ORGANIZATION
IS DOOMED!
YES, YETCH.
POINT OF INFORMATION.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...
AND TELL HIM HOW WE FEEL?
OUT OF ORDER!
NOW, ARE WE GOING TO LE THIS OUTSIDER-
THIS HUMAN-
PUSH US AROUND?
OR ARE WE GOING TO LOOK OU FOR OUR OWN GOOD...
AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
I SAY WE GO GE FLANKEN AND FRANCESCA!
ALL IN FAVOR OF THAT MOTION,
SAY "GROWL,"
"UGH," "YEAH" OR WHATEVER.
[ Howling, Growling ]
ALL OPPOSED, SAY-
[ Blows Raspberry ]
[ Blows Raspberry ]
THE MOTION IS PASSED
UNANIMOUSLY.
WAIT A MINUTE, COUNT!
POINT OF ORDER!
POINT OF INFORMATION!
POINT OF IMPORTANCE!
SPEAK UP AND STOP POINTING.
I CANNOT ALLOW US TO DO THIS
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN.
WE MUST REMAIN LOYAL TO HIM.
HE WAS ALWAYS AROUND
WHEN WE NEEDED HIM.
NOW, WHEN HE NEEDS US-
HE WAS AROUND
WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM?
WHEN YOU NEEDED A GIRLFRIEND, AND HE
JUST MADE ONE, DID HE GIVE IT TO YOU?
WELL, NO, BUT-
AND WHAT ABOUT FRANCESCA?
HE COULD HAVE GIVEN HER TO
YOU, BUT DID HE? [ Mutters ]
NO, HE KEPT HER FOR HIMSELF-
HIMSELF, YETCH-
WHEN WE ALL KNEW
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOURS.
YOU DESERVED HER, YETCH,
BUT SHE IS HIS-
HIS, NOT YOURS.
I
- I WANT TO TAKE MY [ Blows Raspberry ] BACK.
ALL RIGHT, BABIES,
IT'S "UMANINUMOUS."
"UNIE-MOUSE."
"UNIE-NOONIE." "UMIE-NANNY."
IT'S A HUNDRED PERCENT.
LET'S GO.
THEY WENT INTO THE JUNGLE.
FOLLOW ME. [ Roaring, Growling ]
[ Gasping ]
LET'S STOP FOR A MINUTE.
I HAVE TO CATCH MY BREATH.
I'M PRETTY TIRED MYSELF, BUT I DON' THINK ANYONE IS FOLLOWING US YET.
THEY'LL BE CATCHING UP
WITH US SOON ENOUGH.
OH, IF MR. KRONKITE COULD SEE
ME NOW, I WONDER WHAT HE'D SAY.
[ Sneezing ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Hiccupping ]
[ Screams ]
FELIX! HELP ME!
MAYBE IT LIKES PILLS.
[ Screeching ]
NOW TO GET YOU LOOSE.
HURRY,
IT'S GETTING TIGHTER!
OH, I'M FREE.
FELIX,
YOU SAVED MY LIFE AGAIN.
OH, DON'T THANK ME.
THANK MY PILLS.
DON'T THANK MY PILLS.
THANK ME.
WE BETTER START MOVING AGAIN.
TIME IS RUNNING AGAINST US.
[ Gasping ]
HOW MUCH FURTHER...
DO WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE WE
GET OUT OF THIS JUNGLE?
MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR OR SO.
[ Howling ]
IT'S THE WEREWOLF. THEY'VE PICKED UP
OUR TRAIL. WE CAN'T REST HERE ANY LONGER.
[ Panting ]
I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
I MUST REST.
I WASN'T MADE
FOR THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY.
[ Panting ]
GO ON WITHOUT ME, FELIX.
JUST LEAVE ME SOMETHING TO READ.
THERE'S A BOAT WITH PROVISIONS IN
IT HIDDEN NEAR THE EDGE OF THE BEACH.
I'M NOT LEAVING YOU.
I'LL CARRY YOU
OUT OF THE JUNGLE.
[ Grunting ] SAY, YOU'RE
HEAVIER THAN I THOUGHT.
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW
I'M NO EASY PICKUP.
MAYBE I COULD MAKE A SLING
OUT OF SOME VINES.
THAT WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO MOVE
YOU. GROOVY, BUT HURRY, WILL YA?
DON'T GO AWAY NOW.
[ Howling, Snarling ]
PUT HER DOWN, YOU DIRTY DOG! [ Snarls ]
SAY, BITING'S NOT FAIR. PUT UP
YOUR FISTS, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN.
ATTACK! KILL! MAIM!
DECAPITATE!
GET AWAY, FELIX!
RUN TO THE BOAT!
SAVE YOURSELF!
[ Howling ]
COWARD! RUNNING AWAY JUST AS I WAS ABOU TO THRASH YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!
HOW DO YOU DO?
HIYA, FELLAS.
[ Whistles ]
NICE DAY, ISN'T IT?
YOU ARE NOW OUR PRISONER.
[ Sneezes Violently ]
BLESS YOU. THANK YOU. IT'S AN ALLERGY.
[ Coughing, Hiccupping ]
- YOU HAVE IT!
- HAVE WHAT?
THE BARON'S SECRET FORMULA
THAT CAN DESTROY MATTER!
I DO?
OH, I DO! I DO!
DO NOT POINT THAT VIAL
AT ME!
OH, SO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS
VILE, VILE VIAL, HUH?
WELL, GOOD.
THEN YOU KNOW WHAT WILL
HAPPEN IF I DROP IT.
TAKE ME TO FRANCESCA.
MOVE!
OR I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT!
AHA! FROZEN WITH FEAR,
ARE YOU?
YOU DIDN'T REALIZE THAT RAPIER-KEEN,
SILKEN-SMOOTH FELIX FLANKEN...
COULD BE SO ROUGH AND TOUGH
AND HARD AND STRONG...
AND MANLY AND VIRILE
AND-
AND WEAK... TIMID...
AND PETRIFIED AND-
[ Chuckles ]
HI-HO, THERE!
MAY I GET YOU A BANANA?
[ Roaring ]
OH, MONSTERS, BEASTS-
FRANCESCA- FRANCESCA!
MUST SAVE FRANCESCA!
[ Roaring ]
[ Growls Gently ]
[ Roars ]
[ Continues Roaring ]
YOU WERE A FOOL
TO HAVE IGNORED ME...
AND TO HAVE GONE
WITH THAT FLANKEN!
NOW, AT LONG LAST,
YOU ARE MINE, FRANCESCA!
YETCH, YOU WRETCH,
DON'T TOUCH ME!
TOUCH YOU?
[ Chuckles ]
AT LONG LAST,
I AM GOING TO KISS YOU!
OY VEY!
THAT FRANCESCA'S SOMETHING!
SHE CAN FLY ME TO THE MOON
WITH HER KISSES!
[ Panting ]
MUST... GET TO FRANCESCA.
MUST... SAVE HER!
[ Roaring ] HELP! [ Screams ]
[ Continues Screaming ]
OHH! OH! OH!
[ Roaring ]
[ Screaming ]
TOO LATE! TOO LATE.
I'VE FAILED.
WHAT CAN I DO?
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER.
I'LL KILL MYSELF!
NO, FELIX, WAIT, WAIT! DON'T KILL
YOURSELF. WHO'S GONNA KILL MYSELF?
I ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE I
DIDN'T THINK ANYONE COULD HEAR ME.
BUT WHAT WILL WE DO, UNCLE?
I'LL SAVE FRANCESCA.
YOU GO BACK AND WAIT FOR HER
IN THE BOAT. I HAVE A PLAN.
BU - THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. TRUST ME. GO!
CAN I ASK YOU ONE THING?
YES, NEPHEW?
YOU KNOW A SHORTCUT?
I'M TIRED OF HACKING
AND CHOPPING.
[ Growling ]
YECH!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
PRAY HE DOESN'T STAR BEATING HIS CHEST.
YOU- WHY DON'T YOU
DO SOMETHING?
YOU'RE GOING
TO DO SOMETHING?
WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?
[ Groans, Sobs ]
YOU'RE CRYING?
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.
OH, THANK BADNESS.
FELIX IS ESCAPING.
ONE THING IS FOR SURE:
IF I EVER GE OUT OF THIS MESS ALIVE,
I'LL NEVER HACK AND CHOP
IN A JUNGLE AGAIN!
[ Engine Roaring ]
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, YOU.
PUT HER DOWN!
IT'S ME YOU WANT.
COME ON, FRANCESCA!
COME ON!
WHERE ARE YOU?
FRANCESCA!
YOU CALLED?
QUICK, FELIX.
START THE ENGINE.
WE'VE GOT TO GET AWAY
FROM HERE. B- BUT MY UNCLE-
WHAT OF HIM? IT'S TOO LATE.
NO ONE CAN HELP HIM NOW.
QUICKLY, DARLING,
MY BELOVED, MY SWEET,
BUG OUT!
YES, ALL RIGHT.
AND NOW YOU,
YOU OVERGROWN CHIMPANZEE.
YOU'VE CAUSED ME ANGUISH
FOR THE VERY LAST TIME.
AND ALL OF YOU, WITH YOUR
JEALOUSIES AND YOUR HATES.
YOU WANTED MY VIAL.
YOU'D KILL MY NEPHEW FOR IT.
WELL, NOW YOU SHALL SEE
THAT BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...
IS NOT ONE TO CROSS.
TRUE, YOU WON'T SEE I FOR TOO LONG A TIME.
BUT FOR ONE SECOND
- [ Chuckles ] OH, BOY!
I KNOW IT'S WRONG, BUT I HAVE THIS
TREMENDOUS URGE TO SING "AULD LANG SYNE."
DID YOU CLOSE THE WINDOWS
IN YOUR ROOM?
WELL, IT'S ALL OVER, MY
DARLING. WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.
MY PLACE ISN'T MUCH-
TWO SMALL ROOMS,
A FURNISHED MEDICINE CABINET.
BUT WE'LL BE MARRIED.
AND SOON THERE'LL BE THE SOUND
OF TINY FLANKENS RUNNING AROUND.
OH, FELIX!
[ Sobs ]
WH-WH-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT HAVE I SAID?
WE'LL GET A BIGGER PLACE.
I'LL GIVE UP SNEEZING.
WHAT IS IT?
OH, FELIX,
I CAN NEVER MARRY YOU.
YOU CAN'T?
YOU DON'T LOVE ME?
YES, I DO. I DO LOVE YOU, AND
THAT'S WHY I WON'T MARRY YOU.
WELL, FRANCESCA,
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I CAN'T KEEP ON DATING YOU
IN JUNGLES.
NO, FELIX. THERE'S
SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU.
HAVEN'T YOU WONDERED
WHY I WAS ON THAT ISLAND?
YOU SEE, I'M NO A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU ARE.
I WAS CREATED BY FRANKENSTEIN
AFTER THE MONSTER AND HIS MATE.
I WAS HIS MASTERPIECE.
BUT WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE A HEART,
I HAVE A SPRING THAT WILL UNWIND.
WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE LUNGS,
I'VE GOT A PUMP THAT RUNS
ON BATTERIES WHICH WILL RUN OUT.
WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE
ELBOWS AND KNEES,
I HAVE METALLIC JOINTS THAT WILL
ONE DAY GROW RUSTY AND STIFFEN.
I'M JUST A MACHINE WITH HUNDREDS OF
PARTS THAT WILL EVENTUALLY WEAR OUT.
WELL, FRANCESCA-
[ Sneezes Violently ]
WELL, FRANCESCA, NONE OF US ARE PERFEC - [ Clicking ]
ARE PERFECT- [ Clicking ] ARE PERFECT-
[ Clicking ] ARE PERFECT- [ Clicking ]
[ Continues ]
AHH, A LIFETIME
OF EXPERIMENTATION...
CAPPED IN ONE SMALL VIAL.
NOW TO THE FINAL STEP-
THE INFUSION OF ENERGY.
AH, THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE-
MINE!
IT MUST WORK.
A TEST-
I MUST TEST IT!
[ Squawking ]
HA-HA-HA.
"QUOTH THE RAVEN,
'NEVERMORE.'"
AH, I'VE DONE IT-
CREATED THE MEANS
TO DESTROY MATTER.
THEY MUST ALL KNOW,
KNOW THAT I,
BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN,
MASTER OF THE SECRE OF CREATION,
HAVE NOW MASTERED THE SECRE OF DESTRUCTION.
THE INVITATIONS
MUST BE SENT AT ONCE.
[ Squeaking ]
HA, OH WHAT A FINE PARTY WE'LL
HAVE WHEN THEY ALL ARRIVE,
EH, MY BOY?
[ Groaning ]
THE FULL MOON
BRINGS OU THE MONSTER IN YOU
A STRANGE TUNE
SEEMS TO BE PLAYING
FOR YOU
COULD YOU BE
SOMEONE'S INVENTION
SO UNREAL
AS YOU FEEL TONIGHT
DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO THE DEVIL
AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
MAD, MAD, MAD
MONSTER PARTY
DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO MEPHISTOPHELES
TELL ME, BABY, TELL ME
[ Ringing ]
TELL ME, PLEASE
YOU MADE A DATE
WITH THE DEVIL, NOT ME
IF YOU KNOW MY FATE, HONEY
LEVEL WITH ME
THE COLD NIGHT
BRINGS OUT THE CREATURE
IN YOU
A STRANGE LIGHT
SEEMS TO BE FALLING ON YOU
I KNOW IT'S NO YOUR INTENTION
TO FRIGHTEN ME SO TONIGHT
WON'T YOU TELL ME, BABY
WHAT HAPPENED
AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
MAD, MAD, MAD
MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT
[ Man ]
FLANKEN!
FELIX!
TAKE IT OUT OF MY PAY,
MR. KRONKITE.
PAY?
WHAT PAY?
YOU HAVE TWO MORE MONTHS TO WORK FOR ME
FOR NOTHING BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN AS IT IS.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE
PHARMACY DEPARTMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
NEED I REMIND YOU
THAT THIS IS A DRUGSTORE?
THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING
AT THE LUNCH COUNTER.
SOMEONE IS BROWSING
THROUGH THE PAPERBACK BOOKS.
WE'VE GOT A WHOLE RACK FULL OF
THOSE VEEBLEFETZERS TO UNLOAD,
AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME
IN THE PHARMACY DEPARTMENT!
WHAT AM I NO PAYING YOU FOR, FELIX?
I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE. WHA WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO FIRST?
FIRST? WAIT ON THE
PEOPLE! [ Whistle Blows ]
MAILMAN!
THESE ARE FOR YOU,
MR. KRONKITE.
AND HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, FELIX.
HAS A REAL FANCY STAMP ON IT.
OH, LET'S SEE NOW.
"INVITED TO-"
[ Mumbling ]
OH, BOY!
"CONVENTION-
BIG GATHERING OF NOTABLES."
GOLLY! WOW!
FELIX, STOP YOUR MUMBLING AND TELL
US WHAT THE LETTER IS ALL ABOUT.
I'M INVITED TO AN ISLAND
IN THE CARIBBEAN,
TO TAKE PART IN A SCIENTIFIC
FIRST, A NEW DISCOVERY.
YOU? A MENTAL LAS TO A SCIENTIFIC FIRST?
I'VE SEEN POSTCARDS
OF THEM CARIBBEAN ISLANDS.
LOTS OF SUN,
WHITE BEACHES, PALM TREES,
SWIMMING POOLS IN THEM
BIG FANCY HOTELS, REALLY?
GOLF COURSES, TENNIS COURTS,
PRETTY GIRLS, NIGHT CLUBS. REALLY?
MR. KRONKITE, THE CONVENTION
IS ON THE 13th.
CAN I HAVE THIS WEEK OFF
TO GET THERE AND BACK?
AHA! I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU'D ASK THAT.
YOU'RE NOT DUE
FOR A VACATION YET.
BUT I HAVEN'T HAD ONE IN THREE
YEARS. PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.
IF YOU LEAVE, WHO'LL MAKE THE COFFEE,
WASH THE DISHES, MIND THE STORE?
PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.
PRETTY PLEASE?
HUH? A- A-
[ Sneezes ]
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I GET EXCITED.
ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
GO, GO!
TAKE A WEEK, A MONTH,
A YEAR!
BUT IT'S NOT YOUR VACATION,
IT'S MINE.
THANKS, MR. KRONKITE.
I SURE APPRECIATE-
I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE.
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
GO, GO, GO! GET OUT BEFORE
YOU WRECK THE WHOLE STORE!
DO YOU THINK FELIX
WILL GET THERE BY THE 13th?
BIRD-WATCHING AGAIN?
FANG, DO YOU FORGET?
THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A ROVING EYE,
I KEPT IT IN A JAR
FOR A WEEK!
AH-HA-HA-HA!
HA-HA-HA!
[ Groaning ]
DON'T GIVE ME ANY
OF YOUR BACK MUMBLE,
YOU, YOU, YOU... MONSTER!
OH, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
I KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME,
THAT YOU'D PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME
'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO COMPLAIN
BUT YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE
'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFEREN YOU'RE DIFFERENT
NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NO INCREDIBLY HANDSOME OR EVEN CHARMING
BUT YOU CAN BE SO
DISARMING
I THINK
IT'S SIMPLY ALARMING
YOU'RE DIFFEREN AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN
YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE
YES, YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA, DIFFERENT
LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE
LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE
YEAH, YOU'RE DIFFEREN YECH
YOU'RE DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU
HA-HA-HA-HA
NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NO INCREDIBLY HANDSOME OR EVEN CHARMING
BUT YOU CAN BE
SO DISARMING
THAT I FIND I SIMPLY ALARMING
YOU'RE DIFFEREN AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN
YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE
YES, YOU'RE DIFFEREN HA-HA-HA
DIFFEREN LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE
LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE
YEAH, YEAH
YOU'RE DIFFERENT
YOU'RE DIFFERENT
AND YOU KNOW THAT'S
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
[ Knocking On Door ]
COME IN.
GOOD MORNING, DOCTOR.
I'VE BROUGHT YOU YOUR MAIL.
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
YOU KNOW, SEEING YOU EVERY DAY
GIVES ME A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE.
IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF,
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE.
WHY, DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
[ Clears Throat ]
WE'VE RECEIVED REPLIES
FROM ALMOST ALL YOU INVITED:
DRACULA, WEREWOLF,
DR. JEKYLL,
THE HUNCHBACK,
CREATURE.
BUT WE HAVEN'T RECEIVED
A REPLY FROM...
FROM... IT.
WELL, I SHOULD HOPE
THAT WE DON'T.
YOU SEE, IT WASN'T INVITED. OH?
IT WAS A CRUSHING BORE
AT OUR LAST CONVENTION.
IT KEPT WALKING AROUND CRUSHING
BOARS, WILD BOARS, IN ITS HANDS.
VERY FRANKLY, FRANCESCA,
IT DISGUSTS EVEN ME.
I SEE.
DOCTOR, WE ALSO RECEIVED
A VERY STRANGE LETTER...
FROM SOMEONE WHO SAYS
HE'S ARRIVING ON THE 13th.
A FELIX... FLANKEN.
HE'S COMING? OH, THAT IS GOOD
NEWS! WHAT ELSE DOES HE WRITE?
"LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING ALL
THOSE FUN PEOPLE AT YOUR RESORT."
RESORT?
FUN PEOPLE?
HE DOESN'T MEAN DRACULA
AND THE WEREWOLF, SURELY!
YES, YES, GO ON, GO ON.
"CAN HARDLY WAIT TO DIP INTO THE
POOL IN THE FRONT OF YOUR RESORT...
AND LIE ON
YOUR BEAUTIFUL BEACH."
DOCTOR, DOES HE KNOW ABOU THE CROCODILES IN THE LAGOON...
AND THE QUICKSAND
ON THE BEACH?
WHO, OR WHAT,
IS THIS FLANKEN?
OH, DON'T BE ALARMED,
MY DEAR.
FELIX FLANKEN IS A MERE HUMAN,
AND HE'S UNAWARE OF THE NATURE
OF OUR LITTLE GATHERING.
BUT HE ALSO HAPPENS
TO BE MY NEPHEW.
YOUR NEPHEW? I THOUGHT YOU
HAD NO... LIVING RELATIVES.
FELIX IS THE CHILD
OF MY YOUNGEST SISTER.
SHE TURNED OUT TO BE
THE WHITE SHEEP OF THE FAMILY.
OH, TOO BAD. SHE HAD A
GREAT FLARE FOR WITCHCRAFT.
BUT THEN SHE ME THIS TRAVELING MEDICINE MAN,
CHUCK FLANKEN,
IN TRANSYLVANIA,
AND SHE ELOPED WITH HIM AND WEN TO THE UNITED STATES TO LIVE.
THEY'RE BOTH GONE NOW,
BUT THEIR SON, FELIX,
IS MY ONLY RELATIVE
AND HEIR.
BUT WHY ARE YOU INVITING HIM
TO THIS CONVENTION?
BECAUSE, MY DEAR,
I'M- I'M RETIRING.
YES. OH, DON'T LOOK
SO UNBELIEVING.
I'VE GROWN A LITTLE TIRED
OF THIS HORROR BUSINESS,
DOING BAD FOR OTHERS AND VERY
RARELY GETTING ANY BAD IN RETURN.
BUT NOW THAT I'VE MASTERED
MY GREATEST DISCOVERY,
I'D LIKE TO RETIRE
WHILE I'M ON TOP.
I SHALL TURN OVER ALL MY SECRETS TO
FELIX, INCLUDING MY LAST GREAT ONE,
AND THEN PRESENT HIM TO THE
CONVENTION AS MY SUCCESSOR.
[ Clock Chiming ]
AAAH!
[ Chimes ]
AAAH!
ON THEIR WAY TO THE ISLAND ABOUT NOW.
I'LL STILL HAVE TO SEE TO THEIR
ACCOMMODATIONS. YOU TIDY UP IN HERE.
OH, I DO HOPE YOU LIKE
FELIX FLANKEN WHEN YOU MEET HIM.
I WANT YOU TWO
TO BE FRIENDS.
FELIX FLANKEN-
LIKE HIM?
I'LL LOVE HIM
TO PIECES!
DID WE PICK UP ANY PASSENGERS
ON THIS STOP, CAPTAIN?
NOT YET. OUR ONLY PASSENGER IS
STILL THAT FUNNY GUY FROM LONDON.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
DR. JEKYLL.
DR. JEKYLL? THAT'S ODD. HE
TOLD ME HIS NAME WAS MR. HYDE.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HE PAID HIS
FARE. GET THIS LOADED ABOARD THE SHIP.
HOW, CAPTAIN?
THE CREW JUMPED SHIP.
WHAT? NO CREW?
I DID SHANGHAl A FEW LADS
LAST NIGHT,
BUT THEY'RE STILL IN
THE HOLD SLEEPING IT OFF.
EH, WHAT?
LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT THE TIDE BROUGHT IN.
[ Mumbles, Grunts ]
WHAT'S THAT, MATE? YOU WANT TO SIGN
ABOARD FOR PASSAGE TO THE ISLE OF EVIL?
[ Mumbles, Grunts ]
WELL, WE JUST MAY HAVE ROOM
FOR ANOTHER HAND ON BOARD,
BUT WE'RE NOT GOING
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL.
GET THIS LOADED
ABOARD THE SHIP.
[ Grunts ]
BLIMEY, HE'S AS STRONG
AS 50 MEN.
AND AS UGLY
AS ANY I'VE EVER SEEN.
HOW DO YOU DO,
GENTLEMEN?
COULD YOU TELL ME THE FARE
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL?
ANOTHER ONE? WE DON' USUALLY STOP AT THE ISLE OF-
THAT WILL BE
A HUNDRED BUCKS.
AND WITH YOUR FANCY CAPE
AND TUXEDO AND ALL,
I'D THINK
YOU COULD AFFORD IT.
CONSIDERING THE DILAPIDATED
CONDITION OF MY WALLET-
I MEAN, YOUR SHIP,
I THINK I HAD BETTER FLY.
ME EYES ARE PLAYING
TRICKS ON ME.
DID YOU SEE WHA I THINK I SAW, CAPTAIN?
IF I SAW WHAT YOU THINK
YOU SAW,
I'D SAY WE WERE BOTH
GOING BATTY.
PARDON ME, GENTLEMEN, BUT DOES THIS
PICKLED HERRING STOP AT THE ISLE OF EVIL?
BLIMEY, IT'S
ANOTHER ONE OF THEM.
WE'LL STOP, DON'T WORRY.
WE-WE'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT. NO
CHARGE FOR YOU. BE MY GUEST.
BUT PLEASE...
NONE OF YOUR SURPRISES.
GOLLY. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THOSE TWO?
HAVEN'T THEY EVER SEEN
A TOURIST BEFORE?
[ Howling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]
THE CAPTAIN SAID I COULD HAVE
ANY CABIN I WANTED.
NOW, LET ME SEE. A SOUTHERN
EXPOSURE WOULD BE NICE.
[ Gasps ]
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
SIR? UH, MA'AM?
[ Panting ]
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, BUT I CAN' SEE A THING WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
[ Panting ] LET ME HELP
YOU WITH YOUR FUR PIECE.
[ Whimpering ]
MADAM, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU.
DON'T GO! I CAN'T STAND A WOMAN CRYING.
I'LL HAVE TO GET AN EXTRA PAIR
OF GLASSES OUT OF MY LUGGAGE.
OHH! I'M SORRY, BUT I LOST MY
GLASSES AND CAN'T SEE A THING.
[ Chuckles ]
I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
[ Whistle Blows ]
GO BELOW, MATE AND INVITE OUR
PASSENGERS TO DINE WITH ME.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANNA DO THAT?
GO ON!
HOW DO YOU DO?
AAH, SORRY,
WRONG CABIN.
WHY DID I EVER DECIDE
TO GO TO SEA?
[ Gasps ]
FEET, IF YOU'VE EVER MOVED,
MOVE LIKE YOU'VE
NEVER MOVED BEFORE.
JEKYLL'S MY NAME.
DR. JEKYLL.
FELIX FLANKEN.
I'M A PHARMACIST.
[ Sneezes ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Sneezes, Coughs ]
[ Hiccupping ]
I'M-I'M ALSO ALLERGIC.
I HAVE A LITTLE ELIXIR THAT KEEPS
ME FEELING IN WONDERFUL METTLE.
UM, TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH.
[ Gagging ]
DR. JEKYLL,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
[ Growls ]
MY-MY GOODNESS,
YOU LOOK AWFUL.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NO SEASICK? DR. JEKYLL, I THINK-
HYDE, HYDE, HYDE.
[ Growls ]
HIDE? YOU WANT ME TO HIDE?
WELL, IF YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES,
YOU MUST BE FEELING BETTER.
BUT YOU CERTAINLY
DON'T LOOK IT.
OKAY, I'LL HIDE AND YOU
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND ME.
[ Bell Ringing ]
IF DR. JEKYLL DOESN'T FIND ME SOON, I
THINK I'LL GO TO MY CABIN AND TO BED.
[ Mumbling ]
[ Water Splashes ]
NOW, FRIENDS, YOU'LL DISCOVER
WHO WAS THE ORIGINAL BATMAN.
HMM, MY, BU IT'S GETTING CHILLY.
[ Howling ]
YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN IMPORTAN ASSIGNMENTS TO CARRY OUT.
AND I EXPECT EACH ONE OF YOU
TO DO HIS JOB.
I WANT EACH OF YOU...
TO STAY CALM AND COLLECTED NO
MATTER WHAT EMERGENCY ARISES.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE
ANYONE LOSING HIS HEAD.
I TAKE IT YOURS
WASN'T HOOKED ON.
ALL RIGHT, YETCH,
PICK IT UP.
PICK IT UP!
DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE COMING
OR GOING, DO YOU, YETCH?
I'M SO EXCITED, DOCTOR.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL
OF OUR OLD FRIENDS IN YEARS.
I GOT SO NERVOUS AND EXCITED
AND NERVOUS AND-
LET'S TRY NO TO GO TO PIECES, YETCH.
DOCTOR, A GROUP OF THE
CONVENTION PARTY HAS JUST ARRIVED.
GOOD.
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.
EVERYONE TO HIS POST.
WE MUST MAKE CERTAIN THAT I DOES NOT GET ONTO THE ISLAND.
TO YOUR CHECKPOINTS!
AH, FRANCESCA,
YOU BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE,
LOVEABLE CREATURE.
HOW MUCH I'VE WANTED
TO TOUCH YOU.
TAKE YOUR HANDS
AWAY FROM ME.
YOU... CREEP!
SHE NOTICED ME!
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
SHE NOTICED ME.
SHE TOLD ME TO CREEP,
SO I'LL CREEP.
I HEAR HER VOICE,
SO SOFT, SO SWEET.
WHEN I'M AWAKE
OR WHEN I SLEEP,
IT MAKES ME BURN
WITH PASSION'S HEAT...
TO HEAR HER SAY...
"YOU CREEP."
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU ZOMBIES?
DON'T JUST STAND THERE
LIKE UNION GRAVE DIGGERS.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN WANTS YOU
TO PATROL THE ISLAND!
STOP BEHAVING
LIKE A BUNCH OF GHOSTS!
GET INTO YOUR PLANES!
CONTACT!
OH, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL HAVE
TO TALK TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN...
ABOUT GETTING NEW AIRPLANES.
CONTACT AGAIN.
YEOW-W-W-W!
QUICKLY, INTO THE AIR,
ZOMBIE BIRD MAN!
I WISH DR. FRANKENSTEIN
HADN'T GROUNDED ME.
SOMEDAY I HOPE
HE'LL LET ME FLY AGAIN.
OH, WELL,
WE CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING.
I SHOULD BE HAPPY
THAT I STILL HAVE MY SICKNESS.
[ Organ ]
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I WOULD DARE COME HERE UNINVITED?
I DON'T KNOW. IT IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
OH, YOU GORGEOUS...
TANTALIZING CREATION!
[ Laughs ]
READY, BABY?
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
[ Mumbling ]
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CHIC,
YOU POOR INVENTION OF A MAN, YOU?
HERE COME THE LOVEBIRDS.
SPEAK KINDLY TO THEM,
FRANCESCA.
REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALL
ONE HAPPY FAMILY HERE.
OH, MY DEAR, YOU LOOK JUST... GHASTLY.
OH, DOCTOR!
OH, BROTHER!
YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME. OUR
GUESTS WILL BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT.
MY DEAR BARON,
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
MY DEAR COUNT,
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.
HOW IS OUR MONSTER
AND HIS CHARMING COMPANION?
MADAME, I MUST SAY YOU LOOK
THE PICTURE OF DECADENCE.
DON'T KISS!
YOU ALWAYS LEAVE MARKS!
MY APOLOGIES.
AND OF COURSE, FRANCESCA.
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS
BEEN MY TYPE-
O- NEGATIVE, ISN'T IT?
[ Door Closes ]
[ Howling, Barking ]
[ Sniffing, Howling ]
AH, WEREWOLF.
DELIGHTED YOU'RE HERE, WERE!
WOLFIE, YOU OLD DOG!
[ Laughs ]
THIS CONVENTION IS GOING
TO BE A HOWLING SUCCESS.
[ Howling ]
SEE, I TOLD YOU!
OUCH!
YOU NEED A MANICURE!
LOOK, HERE COMES
THE INVISIBLE MAN!
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
HA-HA-HA.
INVISIBLE MAN,
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU ARE LOOKING WELL,
I THINK. [ Chuckling ]
I AM WELL, COUNT.
AND YOU?
AHA, INVISIBLE MAN!
H- H-HOW DO YOU DO?
I WONDER HOW HE GO HIS INVITATION.
HE HAS AN UNLISTED TOMB!
HA-HA-HA!
DIDN'T I SEE HIM AT THE TRANSYLVANIA
GARDENS IN THE MAIN EVENT?
THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME
AIN'T A BOXER.
[ Bride ] AFRAID IT'LL RUIN
HIS LOOKS, HUH? HA-HA-HA!
DR. JEKYLL. GOOD SHOW, DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
AND WHERE IS MR. HYDE?
[ Gagging ]
GOOD SHOW,
DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
WHATEVER HE'S DRINKING, I'LL
HAVE IT WITH GINGER. [ Crunching ]
FANG, DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY COUTH?
HA-HA-HA.
IT'S ME...
YOUR DON JUAN.
I "DON JUAN"
TO LOOK AT YOU.
I LOVE YOUR EYES,
I LOVE YOUR CHIN,
I LOVE THE SHAPE
THEY PUT YOU IN.
AND WHEN I GET TO FEEL
YOUR TOUCH,
I ACHE FOR YOU
SO VERY MUCH.
THIS CHOPPED LIVER
SMELLS FISHY.
IT'S NOT THE CHOPPED LIVER,
COUNT.
IT'S THE PICKLED SALMON.
YECH!
[ Sniffing ]
[ Chuckling ]
OH SOLA MIA
OH SOLA YOU-A
I'M-A THE WORLD'S
BEST-A CHEF
YOU BET-A YOU MOOLA
CHEF MACHIAVELLI,
HOW ARE YOU, MAESTRO?
HEY, YETCH, WHAT-A
YOU DO-A IN MY KITCHEN?
YOU-A NO GOOD SNAKE IN-A
THE GRASS. YOU-A DIRTY SWINE!
YOU-A UGLY RAT! THANK
YOU FOR THOSE KIND WORDS.
I HOPE I CAN LIVE UP
TO THEM.
THIS-A YETCH-
HE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A NUT.
KEEP-A YOUR HANDS OUT-A MY SALAD
BEFORE I THROW-A YOU OUT-A MY KITCHEN.
WHAT-A YOU DOING
IN-A HERE ANYWAY, EH?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN ASKED ME
TO CHECK...
ON HOW THE PREPARATIONS FOR
THE FEAST WERE PROGRESSING,
AND WHAT THE MENU
WOULD BE.
FIRST-A WE HAVE-A
THE SALAD-A
HERE HAVE A TASTE-A
MMM, DELICIOUS.
WHAT KIND IS IT?
IT'S-A MY OWN CHEF'S SALAD-A.
THE MAFIA MACHIAVELLI SPECIAL.
I MAKE-A IT WITH POISON IVY,
TOADSTOOLS AND POISON BERRIES.
OH, IT'S-A GOOD, NO?
I GOT-A THREE KINDS-A
DRESSINGS THAT-A GO WITH IT.
ARSENIC, CYANIDE,
AND-A THIS ONE YOU'D GE A BIG BANG OUT-A, YETCH.
WHAT IS IT?
NITRO GLYCERINE!
[ Laughing ]
I MAKE-A JOKE, YOU KNOW?
THEN WE HAVE THE ANTIPASTO
BLACK WIDOWS PICKLED
IN THEIR OWN POISON,
SMOKED LIZARDS AND SNAKES
AND MARINATED MICE.
TRY-A SOME.
IT LOOKS SO GOOD.
MMM, YUM-YUM.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
IT'S-A NOTHING.
JUST A PINCH-A THIS
A PINCH-A THAT
A PINCH OF THIS
A PINCH OF THAT
OUCH! STOP ALREADY
WITH THE PINCHING.
SORRY ABOUT THAT, YETCH.
AND THAT'S THE SOUP.
OCTOPUS SOUP ALA MAFIA.
OCTOPUS SOUP.
YOU MEAN REAL OCTOPUS SOUP?
WHAT, YOU THINK I'M-A
KIDDING? [ Whistles ]
HELP! HELP!
LET ME DOWN!
SEE? THAT'S REAL OCTOPUS
SOUP. [ Whistles ]
MMM, THAT SOUP
IS VERY STRONG.
HURRY UP-A AND GET-A
YOU FINGERS BACK IN-A THE POT.
AND FOR THE MAIN-A COURSE,
I MAKE-A BOARS HEAD,
ROAST-A VULTURE,
AND A MINCE HYENA CASSEROLE.
HERE, YOU GOTTA TRY
THE HYENA CASSEROLE.
IT'S-A TERRIFIC, NO?
NO, THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING. WHAT?
SOMETHING MISSING?
THE CASSEROLE
OF-A ME, MAFIA MACHIAVELLI,
THE GREATEST CHEF EVER-
SOMETHING MISSING?
MAFIA, CALM YOURSELF.
CHEF, PLEASE SIMMER DOWN.
I BUST-A YOU HEAD.
I BROKE-A YOU NOSE.
I SQUEEZE OUT YOUR EYES.
GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!
I THINK I BETTER TELL DR.
FRANKENSTEIN THAT DINNER IS READY.
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
AS YOUR LEADER, I HAVE CALLED YOU
FROM THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH...
TO WITNESS MY GREATES AND LATEST DISCOVERY.
I HAVE THE SECRE TO THE FORMULA...
WHICH CAN COMPLETELY
DESTROY ALL MATTER.
A FEW DROPS
FROM THIS VIAL...
CAN DEMATERIALIZE ANYTHING,
ANYBODY, ANY PLACE!
I'D GIVE MY EYE TEETH...
TO POSSESS THAT SECRET.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, WOLFIE?
[ Panting ]
[ Thinking ] I CAN MAKE
THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS MINE...
BEFORE HE BESTOWS THEM
ON THAT... FELIX FLANKEN.
AND I CAN USE DRACULA
TO HELP ME.
BABY, FRANCESCA IS UP
TO SOMETHING WITH THAT DRACULA.
THEY BOTH BEAR WATCHING.
BESIDES, IT'S HER OWN FAUL FOR THINKING SO LOUD.
I ALSO WISH TO TELL YOU THA I AM RESIGNING AS YOUR LEADER.
[ Everyone Grumbling ]
YES, AND TOMORROW NIGHT...
I SHALL NAME MY SUCCESSOR...
AND TURN OVER ALL MY SECRETS,
INCLUDING MY LATEST, TO HIM.
WHO IS MORE EVIL,
TREACHEROUS OR SNEAKY THAN ME?
I AM HIS LOGICAL SUCCESSOR.
NOW IF THERE WAS ONLY SOMETHING
I COULD DO TO BE SURE OF THAT.
WHO COULD BE CLOSER TO DR.
FRANKENSTEIN THAN ME AND FANG?
WHY, HE CREATED US!
FRANCESCA! I'LL SEE TO I THAT SHE'S NOT HIS SUCCESSOR.
THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.
HAVE A FRIGHTFUL TIME, AND
I SHALL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.
WELL, I LEAVE YOU NOW
IN THE CAPABLE HANDS...
OF LITTLE TIBIA
AND THE FIBULAS.
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
THEY'RE PLAYING YOUR SONG,
HONEY. LET'S DANCE.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT
TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT
MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE
ALL WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF
TONIGHT
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
IT'S THE MUMMY
TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT
TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT
MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE
ALL WRAPPED UP
IN HIMSELF TONIGHT
COUNT, PSST.
I MUST TALK TO YOU ALONE...
OUT ON THE BALCONY.
EXCUSE ME, WOLFIE, BUT I
THINK ROMANCE IS CALLING.
[ Chuckling ]
AH, YES, MY DEAR.
NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE,
WHAT WILL IT BE?
A QUICK NIP ON THE EAR?
A PLAYFUL BITE ON THE NECK?
COUNT, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BEEN
DRINKING. NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.
NOT WHAT I LIKE TO DRINK
BEST OF ALL.
COME, LET ME KISS YOU.
WOMEN HAVE DIED FOR ONE
OF MY KISSES. I'M TERRIFIC!
STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS. YOU'RE
AS BAD AS THAT ZOMBIE, YETCH.
BESIDES, I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN THAT SORT OF THING.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOU DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S SECRETS.
AH, YES? I KNOW WHO WILL
BE THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.
AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME
ALL ABOUT THIS?
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE. I'M CRUSHED!
NEITHER AM I.
DON'T TELL ME IT'S THA FLEA-BITTEN WEREWOLF. NO.
NOT OLD GAUZE FACE, THE MUMMY? NO.
HMPH, IT'S THAT OVERGROWN GOON,
THE MONSTER.
NO, IT'S NO ONE YOU KNOW. THEN WHO?
[ Chuckles ]
FIRST WE MAKE A DEAL.
IF YOU WILL... GET RID
OF THIS WOULD-BE SUCCESSOR,
THEN AS HIS RIGHTFUL HEIR,
I WILL BE GIVEN THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS
AND I SHALL SHARE THEM WITH YOU.
WHY OF COURSE. A HALF A LOAF IS
BETTER THAN TWO IN THE BUSHES.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
THEN I SHALL GET RID OF YOU AND
HAVE ALL THE SECRETS TO MYSELF.
THEN IT'S A BARGAIN?
A BARGAIN.
IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YEAH
OUR TURN IN LINE
EVERYBODY GETS ONE CHANCE
IN LIFE
[ Chorus ]
ONE CHANCE IN LIFE
TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS
COME TRUE
I CAN DO IT WITH YOU
IT'S OUR TIME
YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE
OUR TIME TO SHINE
IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES
A BIT OF WINE
WE HAVE DRUNK YOU LONG ENOUGH,
MY FRIEND ENOUGH MY FRIEND
AND NOW IT'S TIME
TO PROVE
WE CAN MAKE
THE RIGHT MOVE
IT'S OUR TIME
YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE
OUR TIME TO SHINE
YOU AND ME
WHAT A PAIR WE'LL MAKE
TODAY THE WORLD IS
OURS TO TAKE
NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW
WE'RE GONNA WIN AND HOW
BECAUSE
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
YES
OUR TURN IN LINE
SPIN THE WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP
IT MUST COME UP
WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY
LISTEN, WORLD, WHEN WE SAY
IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
TAKE IT!
[ Tapping ]
BECAUSE IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES
OUR TURN IN LINE
SPIN THAT WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP
IT MUST COME UP
WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY
LISTEN, WORLD
WHEN WE SAY
OH, IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME
IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
NOW, TELL ME,
WHO IS THIS SUCCESSOR?
THE DOCTOR'S NEPHEW,
FELIX FLANKEN.
THIS FLINKEN, FLUNKY,
WHATEVER HE CALLS HIMSELF,
WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER
IS HE?
A GHOUL? A DEMON? A SPOOK OR
- A HUMAN.
THEY'RE THE WORST KIND!
HE MUST BE DONE AWAY WITH.
[ Francesca ]
THE MONSTER'S MATE!
SHE MUST'VE BEEN HIDING BEHIND THE
DRAPES WHILE WE WERE OUT ON THE BALCONY.
THEN SHE HEARD EVERYTHING!
EASY NOW, DARLINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
DO NOT BE AFRAID. ONE QUICK
BITE, AND IT SHALL ALL BE-
AAAH! JUST WATCH WHERE YOU
GRAB. REMEMBER, I'M A COUNT.
AHA! DON'T CUT OUT NOW JUS WHEN THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.
WHO SAID THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED?
[ Screeching ]
STOP ACTING SO IMPETUOUSLY.
YOU'RE WRINKLING MY CAPE.
THIS IS A RENTED TUXEDO!
WELL, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING TO DO
WHEN YOU'RE IN SUCH A PREDICAMENT. HELP!
HELP!
[ Crashing Sounds ]
WELL, WELL...
AS A MONSTER YOU'RE NOTHING!
BUT AS A FRUIT SALAD-
YOU LOOK A LITTLE
UNCOMFORTABLE OUT OF WATER.
HOPE THIS MAKES
YOU FEEL MORE AT HOME.
[ Yetch ] YECH! NO
WONDER YOU'RE INVISIBLE!
YOU'RE UGLY AND REVOLTING
AND DISGUSTING AND-
WHEN I GET HOLD OF
THAT TWO-LEGGED HERRING,
I'LL MAKE HIM
INTO CHOPPED HERRING!
WHAT A FRIGHT.
BEST MONSTER RALLY
I EVER ATTENDED.
OH, LOST YOUR HEAD?
HERE, WAIT TILL YOU SEE
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
AAAH!
YOU SCARED ME.
YOU DOG, YOU!
COME BACK WITH MY BONE!
[ Hiccups ]
PUNCH, ANYONE?
[ Snoring ]
[ Gurgling ]
I SAY, IT'S RAINING.
[ Snoring ]
IT'S THE CREATURE'S DOING.
I'LL FIX THAT.
[ Gagging ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Howling ]
WHAT? WHERE?
WHAT WAS THAT?
[ Howling ]
HMM, A FULL MOON.
[ Laughs ]
THE POOR DOG,
HE CAN'T HELP IT.
[ Howling ]
[ Howling ]
I'LL NEVER SLEEP TONIGHT.
THAT OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.
[ Muffled Howling ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Mumbling ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Mutters ]
[ Muttering ]
[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]
GOOD-BYE! GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
I WONDER WHY THE CAPTAIN
WOULDN'T DOCK HIS SHIP.
HE SEEMED NERVOUS AND ACTED
FUNNY MOST OF THE TRIP.
AND THOSE SAILORS-
BOY, ARE THEY LAZY.
IMAGINE NOT WANTING
TO ROW TO THE ISLAND.
[ Sneezes ]
EVERYONE MUST HAVE HAD HIMSELF
QUITE A TIME LAST NIGHT.
- THERE WAS NOTHING BUT A HUGE PILE OF LEFTOVERS.
- I WONDER WHO IT WAS.
THIS WILL BE THE BEST CONVENTION
WE'VE EVER HAD.
WITHOUT IT TO SPOIL THE FUN,
WITH MY NEPHEW PRESENT,
THIS WILL TRULY BE
A MOMENTOUS EVENT.
AH, THERE'S MY NEPHEW
IN THAT ROW BOAT.
FELIX! FELIX, MY BOY!
WAVE, FRANCESCA, WAVE!
MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME.
UNCLE BORIS!
WELL, HERE I AM.
FELIX!
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
LET ME HELP YOU
GROUND THE BOAT.
PLEASE, UNCLE,
LET ME DO IT MYSELF.
GIVE ME YOUR HAND,
FELIX.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I TRIPPED,
BUT- OOPS!
I THINK YOU TWO SHOULD GREE EACH OTHER ON DRY LAND.
[ Laughs ]
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.
FELIX, FRANCESCA,
MY SECRETARY.
HELLO, AND THANKS
FOR THE HELP IN THE WATER.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I JUST SLIPPED AND-
LET'S GET INTO SOME
DRY CLOTHES, FELIX.
THEN WE'LL HAVE A CHANCE
TO CHAT AND GET ACQUAINTED.
MY MOTOR LAUNCH IS IN
THE COVE UNDER THOSE ROCKS.
IT'LL TAKE US RIGH INTO MY CASTLE.
FELIX, YETCH WILL TAKE YOUR BAGS
AND SEE YOU TO YOUR ROOM.
CHANGE INTO SOME DRY CLOTHES...
AND THEN FRANCESCA WILL
SHOW YOU AROUND THE ISLAND.
WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME
TO TALK LATER.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME,
UNCLE BORIS.
I'M ANXIOUS TO LEARN OF THIS
SCIENTIFIC FIRST YOU WROTE ABOUT.
DID ANYONE SEE YOU
COME HERE? NOT AT ALL.
AND WE DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOU THE MONSTER OR HIS MATE FOR A WHILE.
SHE'S STILL RECUPERATING
FROM LAST NIGHT'S CELEBRATION.
MAY I SAY THAT YOUR
LEFT HOOK IS SENSATIONAL?
POW, POW.
FORGET LAST NIGHT.
FLANKEN IS HERE.
AND I DON'T THINK
WE'LL HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE...
ELIMINATING HIM
AS THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.
I'M TAKING HIM ON A
PICNIC TOUR THIS AFTERNOON.
NOW, THIS IS THE WAY
WE'LL BE GOING.
THERE ARE THREE GOOD PLACES
FOR AN AMBUSH.
THE FIRST ONE IS ABOUT-
IT'S NICE OF YOU TO SHOW ME
AROUND LIKE THIS, FRANCESCA.
THE GROUNDS ARE LOVELY.
SUCH UNUSUAL FLORA AND FAUNA.
YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
YOU LIKE IT AND IT LIKES YOU.
[ Howling ]
[ Growling ]
HEY, BOY! HEY!
HO, THERE, BOY!
OH, NICE FELLA.
ALL RIGHT, GO FETCH, BOY!
[ Howling ]
THERE'S A GOOD BOY.
THAT'S NOT A "GOOD BOY." THAT WAS
A WEREWOLF! WEREN'T YOU FRIGHTENED?
FRIGHTENED? NO!
I'VE GOT A WAY WITH PETS.
[ Francesca ]
YES.
OH, DEAR, THIS POOR SICK
FELLOW SEEMS TO BE IN TROUBLE.
HIS BANDAGES ARE FALLING
OFF. MAYBE I CAN HELP.
I WAS TOP MAN IN FIRST AID
IN MY BOY SCOUT TROOP.
THERE YOU ARE.
REMIND ME NEVER TO SPRAIN
MY ANKLE WHEN YOU'RE AROUND.
CALL ME IF YOU WAN THE DRESSING CHANGED.
[ Buzzing ]
INSECTS!
IT'S A GOOD THING I CAME
PREPARED WITH MY INSECT REPELLANT.
YECH!
WHY DON'T WE STOP RIGHT HERE AND
HAVE OUR PICNIC UNDER THIS TREE?
THAT'S FINE WITH ME. WHAT KIND
OF SANDWICH WOULD YOU LIKE?
HAVE YOU GOT A WATERCRESS
ON WHEAT?
OR BETTER STILL, A PARSLEY ON
PUMPERNICKEL IS VERY HEALTHY.
RIGHT, UH, WHY DON'T YOU LOOK IN
THE BASKET AND SEE WHAT YOU LIKE?
WHAT'S THIS?
CHEESE! OH, BUT WITH
MAYO. I DON'T LIKE MAYO.
BUT WHAT'S THIS?
CHEESE WITHOUT MAYO!
OH, BUT IT'S
ON WHEAT TOAST.
WHAT'S THIS? NO.
OR THIS-
OH, MAYBE THIS.
NOW, ORDINARILY, I LIKE
CHEESE ON WHEAT LIKE THIS,
BUT I LIKE IT WRAPPED
IN WAXED PAPER.
I MUST HAVE MY FOOD
ABSOLUTELY SANITARY.
I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY.
WHY DON'T WE JUST LIE HERE?
[ Crashing ]
[ Slurring ] PERMI ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM COUNT DRACULA.
RIGHT THIS WAY, FELIX.
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE AN
INTERESTING CASTLE, UNCLE BORIS.
WHAT'S THIS? AND THOSE?
OH, A YOUTHFUL FOLLY.
WILBUR AND ORVILLE SPEN A HOLIDAY HERE WITH ME.
WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT?
WILBUR AND ORVILLE
VON FRANKENSTEIN.
YOUR UNCLES, FELIX.
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.
WELL, DO YOU FLY THEM,
UNCLE? OH, NOT FOR YEARS NOW.
AH, BUT WE DID HAVE GAY TIMES FRIGHTENING
THE CRUISE SHIPS PASSING THE ISLAND.
[ Chuckles ]
BUT COME THIS WAY.
THIS IS THE LABORATORY WHERE
I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE...
AND MADE
MOST OF MY DISCOVERIES.
THOSE EXPERIMENTS BROUGHT ME
A GREAT DEAL OF JOY.
BEING A MAN OF SCIENCE, YOU
UNDERSTAND. OH, OF COURSE.
WELL, YOU SEE, UNCLE,
I'M A PHARMACIST.
AH, THEN YOU MUST HAVE CONDUCTED
EXPERIMENTS OF YOUR OWN.
OH, YES.
MY FUDGE QUADRUPLE-MULTIFLAVORED-DECKER
A LA MODE WAS A WILD EXPERIMENT.
MR. KRONKITE TURNED GREEN
AFTER HE ATE IT.
YES, OF COURSE. [ Clears
Throat ] WELL. HMM.
WELL, AFTER I RETIRE, YOU'LL HAVE ALL
THE TIME TO EXPERIMENT THAT YOU WANT.
AFTER YOU RETIRE?
YES, MY BOY.
I'M TURNING OVER TO YOU MY SECRETS AND DISCOVERIES
- THE ENTIRE BUSINESS!
OH, BUT UNCLE,
I ALREADY HAVE A JOB,
AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
OH, DON'T WORRY, FELIX.
MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS
YOUR MOTHER.
FRANKENSTEIN BLOOD FLOWS THROUGH
YOUR VEINS. YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE.
JUST WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS?
I AM THE HEAD OF THE WORLDWIDE
ORGANIZATION OF MONSTERS.
M- M-M-MONSTERS?
[ Chuckling Nervously ]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "MONSTERS."
YES, MONSTERS. YOU KNOW,
[ Chittering ]
WITCHES, WARLOCKS, DEMONS,
GHOULS, ZOMBIES,
CREATURES, VAMPIRES.
MONSTERS.
UNCLE, I MAY HAVE
THE BLOOD FOR THE JOB,
BUT I SURE DON'T HAVE
THE STOMACH FOR IT.
I KNOW, MY BOY,
BUT CONSIDER THIS.
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
WHEN THEY TELL YOU
READ PAGE ONE
READ THREE MORE
AND YOU'LL FIND
THAT THE VERY NEXT DAY WHEN YOU
ARE DONE THE GROUP IS WAY BEHIND
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
WHY NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF
STAY AWAY FROM THE PACK
WHEN YOU'RE READY TO FLY THEY'LL STAR TO CRY AND WISH THEY HAD THE KNACK
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
YOU GOTTA GET UP
FROM THAT BED
AND START A LITTLE AHEAD
OR SOME OTHER BRIGHT GUY
WILL STEAL THE PIE
COME ON, BOY
USE YOUR HEAD
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
KEEP YOUR HEAD
OUT OF THE SAND
PICK THE APPLE THAT'S RIPE
OR THE VERY NEXT DAY
IT'S GOING TO FALL
IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HAND
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY, AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD
STAY ONE STEP AHEAD
TUNE IN TO WHAT'S HAPPENING,
BOY AND STAY ONE STEP
AHEAD
AH, YES. I WAS YOUNG
ONCE MYSELF. [ Chuckles ]
I KNOW THERE ARE MORE GLAMOROUS
OCCUPATIONS IN THE WORLD.
BUT REMEMBER,
THIS IS A FAMILY BUSINESS.
THERE'S A TRADITION
TO UPHOLD.
YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT AT FIRST, BU AFTER YOU'VE WORKED AT IT A WHILE,
I'M SURE YOU'LL GROW
TO LOVE IT AS I HAVE.
REALLY, UNCLE? I DON' WANT TO SEEM UNGRATEFUL,
BUT I WOULD LIKE
TO THINK IT OVER.
OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND.
I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT, AS HEAD
OF THE MONSTERS, YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS POWER,
AND WITH MY SECRETS,
YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO THINGS
YOU NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLE.
I'LL REMEMBER.
IS THERE ANY PLACE ON THE
ISLAND WHERE I CAN FISH?
I DO MY BEST THINKING
WHEN I'M FISHING.
SURELY! THE MOAT AROUND THE
CASTLE HAS PLENTY OF FISH.
THINK OVER WHAT I'VE OFFERED YOU,
MY BOY. THINK IT OVER CAREFULLY.
I'M SURE YOU'LL REACH
THE RIGHT DECISION.
ME- HEAD OF ALL
THE MONSTERS IN THE WORLD?
[ Sneezes Violently ]
[ Coughing ]
THREE CHANCES- THREE!
YOU HAD THREE CHANCES TO GE FLANKEN, AND YOU BLEW 'EM ALL.
- THE GREAT COUNT DRACULA.
- I'LL GET HIM!
AND BEFORE THIS DAY IS OVER.
DON'T WORRY.
I AM WORRIED. IF YOU CAN'T CARRY
OUT YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN,
WHY SHOULD I KEEP MINE?
- I'M SURE THAT SOMEONE ELSE
IS- - [ Grumbling ] FORGET THAT.
I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HIM!
AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE...
THAT YOU WILL GE THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS?
[ Knocking ] [ Dracula ] COME IN!
FRANCESCA!
WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?
- WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
- A DOUBLE-CROSS!
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT-
THE RED CROSS? AH-HA-HA!
WHY SHOULD WE SHARE
THE SECRETS WITH YOU?
IF YOU'RE NOT AROUND,
THE MONSTER WILL GET THEM,
AND WE'LL MAKE MUCH BETTER
PARTNERS FOR DRACULA.
BETTER PARTNERS? NOT AROUND?
WE CAN'T LET HER GO, BABIES.
SHE'LL GO STRAIGH TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN!
YOU CAN'T OUTSMART ME.
YOU'LL NEVER GET-
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
SHE ESCAPED!
WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO NOW?
WE MUST STOP HER
BEFORE SHE TELLS THE BARON,
OR HE'LL TURN US
INTO ERECTOR SETS!
THOUGHT THEY COULD
GET RID OF ME, DID THEY?
THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOU THE SECRET PASSAGE.
I'LL SHOW THEM.
I'LL SHOW THE BARON TOO.
THEY ALL BETRAYED ME,
BUT NOW I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE.
[ Squeaking ]
HUH! UP, MY PETS.
I NEED ONE OF YOU TO FLY ON
A VERY SPECIAL MISSION FOR ME.
FLY, MY LOVELY.
GO SWIFTLY,
AND TAKE MY MESSAGE.
THEY'LL ALL SOON SEE THA I'M NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.
GOSH. FELIX FLANKEN, CHAIRMAN OF
THE BOARD OF MONSTERS, INCORPORATED.
I CAN'T DO IT.
I JUST CAN'T DO IT.
I COULD NEVER FACE
THAT BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
I'LL HAVE TO TELL UNCLE BORIS-
WELL, I'LL TELL HIM THAT MY
ALLERGIES PREVENT ME FROM UNDERTAKING-
[ Gasping ] I MEAN,
ACCEPTING- THE POSITION.
OH, BUT HE WON'T LIKE IT.
MAYBE I CAN TALK HIM
OUT OF RETIRING.
HONEY, I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A
BIG MISTAKE, RUNNING OUT LIKE THIS.
WELL, UNTIL YOU GE A BETTER IDEA.
RIGHT NOW I THINK
I'LL TAKE A COFFIN BREAK.
IF WE STAY TOGETHER,
WE CAN STILL STOP FRANCESCA.
THAT'S IT! WHY DON' WE GO DOWN THE TRAPDOOR?
MAYBE SHE'S STILL
AT THE OTHER END.
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA,
IF I KNEW WHAT WAS A THE OTHER END OF THAT TRAPDOOR.
YOU'LL FIND OUT IN A MINUTE.
FANG, SEE TO IT THA THE COUNT ENJOYS HIS TRIP.
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
NOW, JUST A SECOND, I-
REMEMBER... I'M A COU-
IF I COULD ONLY FIND THE DOCTOR'S
FORMULA FOR DESTROYING MATTER,
I CAN RULE ALL THE OTHERS.
[ Thudding ]
- WHAT-
- WE MEET AGAIN, FRANCESCA.
I THOUGHT IT RATHER RUDE OF YOU TO
LEAVE US WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.
- DON'T ANY OF YOU COME NEAR ME.
- STOP BEHAVING LIKE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!
PUT THAT TORCH DOWN. YES,
WE CAN STILL MAKE A DEAL.
MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU?
NOT AS LONG AS I'VE GO WOLFSBANE FOR YOU, VAMPIRE,
AND A TORCH FOR YOU, MONSTER.
OR IS IT A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE AND WOLFSBANE
FOR A MONSTER? OR WOLFSBANE FOR A WEREWOLF...
AND A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE?
NO, IT'S A STAKE THROUGH THE HEART FOR A
VAMPIRE AND A SILVER BULLET FOR A MONSTER-
I'LL TAKE THE TORCH.
YOU GET THE WOLFSBANE.
[ Howls In Pain ] I TOLD
YOU YOU'D NEVER GET ME.
BUT ALL OF YOU WILL SOON
BE GETTING YOURS.
[ Splashing ]
CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU
BUTTERFINGERS? YOU LET HER GET AWAY!
[ Metallic Clank ]
[ Moaning ]
THAT SMARTS!
I WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH
ABOUT HER.
THE CROCODILES IN THE LAGOON
SHOULD FINISH OUR JOB.
AH-HA-HA, HA-HA-HA!
[ Screeching ]
YOU- FELIX.
F- F-FRANCESCA!
FLANKEN HAS JUST RESCUED
FRANCESCA FROM THE MOAT!
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE GONNA DO
THE BALLET FROM "SWAMP LAKE."
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA,
HA-AH!
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
FINISHED PACKING MY COFFIN.
DON'T PANIC AGAIN, BABIES.
LET'S CALL ALL THE MONSTERS
TOGETHER...
AND HAVE THEM HELP US
GET FRANCESCA...
AND THIS, UH- THIS FLANKEN!
[ Sobbing ] EVERYTHING WAS FINE
UNTIL YOU CAME TO THIS ISLAND.
NOW YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING, AND
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
[ Sobbing ] FRANCESCA,
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW.
F- F-FRANCESCA. FRANCESCA.
OH, IT'S SHOCK. YOU'RE
HYSTERICAL! CALM DOWN.
[ Continues Sobbing ]
I HATE TO DO THIS.
OOH!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- OH, FELIX.
- YOU'RE NOT MAD?
[ Passionately ]
OH, FELIX.
I THINK YOU'RE
STILL HYSTERICAL!
OH, FELIX, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
I'VE BEEN SUCH A FOOL.
[ Romantic Music Swells ]
FRANCESCA, DOES YOUR HEAD
FEEL LIGHTER THAN AIR? YES.
DOES YOUR THROAT FEEL
PARCHED,
AND DO YOU SORT OF TINGLE
ALL OVER? OH, YES. YES, FELIX.
THEN YOU MUST HAVE...
ALLERGIES TOO.
HERE, TRY SOME OF MY PILLS.
OH, FELIX, DARLING.
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
YOU MAY HAVE MET
NEVER GAVE YOU LOVE
YOU'RE GONNA GET
THERE NEVER WAS A TORCH
THAT BURNED SO BLUE
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
ALL THE LOVE
YOU MAY HAVE READ ABOUT
HONEY, YOU CAN JUS FORGET ABOUT
THERE NEVER WAS
A SCREEN ROMANCE FOR TWO
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
TELL ME A THOUSAND TIMES
EACH DAY
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LOVED
THIS WAY
SWEAR TO ME
YOU'LL NEVER ROAM, DEAR
PROMISE ME
YOU'LL STAY AT HOME, DEAR
THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
LITTLE CUPIDS
WITH THEIR BOWS AND SUCH
NEVER SHOT AN ARROW
THAT MEANT MUCH
TO ANY LITTLE LOVE
FOR ANY TWO
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE
FOR YOU
BABY, FOR YOU
YEAH
[ Smooching ]
FELIX, DARLING, WE'VE GOT TO GET OFF THIS
ISLAND IN A HURRY. WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DRACULA AND THE MONSTER ARE OUT TO GET YOU AND
ME BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED HIM.
WELL,
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,
AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT,
WHETHER MY UNCLE LIKES I OR NOT.
I'LL JUST TELL THEM THAT.
THEY WON'T LISTEN TO YOU
OR YOUR UNCLE NOW.
THEY'VE ALREADY GONE TOO FAR.
BESIDES, SOMETHING MUCH MORE HORRIBLE AND
DEADLY WILL BE THREATENING THIS ISLAND SOON.
WHAT? NEVER MIND. WE'VE
GOT TO LEAVE HERE NOW.
WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO ANYONE?
FELIX, I'VE A BOAT HIDDEN AT THE OTHER
END OF THE ISLAND TO HELP US ESCAPE.
YOU MUST COME NOW.
OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
AND SO I SAY,
BROTHER MONSTERS,
UNLESS WE CAN STOP
FELIX FLANKEN...
FROM SUCCEEDING THE BARON,
THEN OUR ORGANIZATION
IS DOOMED!
YES, YETCH.
POINT OF INFORMATION.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...
AND TELL HIM HOW WE FEEL?
OUT OF ORDER!
NOW, ARE WE GOING TO LE THIS OUTSIDER-
THIS HUMAN-
PUSH US AROUND?
OR ARE WE GOING TO LOOK OU FOR OUR OWN GOOD...
AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
I SAY WE GO GE FLANKEN AND FRANCESCA!
ALL IN FAVOR OF THAT MOTION,
SAY "GROWL,"
"UGH," "YEAH" OR WHATEVER.
[ Howling, Growling ]
ALL OPPOSED, SAY-
[ Blows Raspberry ]
[ Blows Raspberry ]
THE MOTION IS PASSED
UNANIMOUSLY.
WAIT A MINUTE, COUNT!
POINT OF ORDER!
POINT OF INFORMATION!
POINT OF IMPORTANCE!
SPEAK UP AND STOP POINTING.
I CANNOT ALLOW US TO DO THIS
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN.
WE MUST REMAIN LOYAL TO HIM.
HE WAS ALWAYS AROUND
WHEN WE NEEDED HIM.
NOW, WHEN HE NEEDS US-
HE WAS AROUND
WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM?
WHEN YOU NEEDED A GIRLFRIEND, AND HE
JUST MADE ONE, DID HE GIVE IT TO YOU?
WELL, NO, BUT-
AND WHAT ABOUT FRANCESCA?
HE COULD HAVE GIVEN HER TO
YOU, BUT DID HE? [ Mutters ]
NO, HE KEPT HER FOR HIMSELF-
HIMSELF, YETCH-
WHEN WE ALL KNEW
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOURS.
YOU DESERVED HER, YETCH,
BUT SHE IS HIS-
HIS, NOT YOURS.
I
- I WANT TO TAKE MY [ Blows Raspberry ] BACK.
ALL RIGHT, BABIES,
IT'S "UMANINUMOUS."
"UNIE-MOUSE."
"UNIE-NOONIE." "UMIE-NANNY."
IT'S A HUNDRED PERCENT.
LET'S GO.
THEY WENT INTO THE JUNGLE.
FOLLOW ME. [ Roaring, Growling ]
[ Gasping ]
LET'S STOP FOR A MINUTE.
I HAVE TO CATCH MY BREATH.
I'M PRETTY TIRED MYSELF, BUT I DON' THINK ANYONE IS FOLLOWING US YET.
THEY'LL BE CATCHING UP
WITH US SOON ENOUGH.
OH, IF MR. KRONKITE COULD SEE
ME NOW, I WONDER WHAT HE'D SAY.
[ Sneezing ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Hiccupping ]
[ Screams ]
FELIX! HELP ME!
MAYBE IT LIKES PILLS.
[ Screeching ]
NOW TO GET YOU LOOSE.
HURRY,
IT'S GETTING TIGHTER!
OH, I'M FREE.
FELIX,
YOU SAVED MY LIFE AGAIN.
OH, DON'T THANK ME.
THANK MY PILLS.
DON'T THANK MY PILLS.
THANK ME.
WE BETTER START MOVING AGAIN.
TIME IS RUNNING AGAINST US.
[ Gasping ]
HOW MUCH FURTHER...
DO WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE WE
GET OUT OF THIS JUNGLE?
MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR OR SO.
[ Howling ]
IT'S THE WEREWOLF. THEY'VE PICKED UP
OUR TRAIL. WE CAN'T REST HERE ANY LONGER.
[ Panting ]
I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
I MUST REST.
I WASN'T MADE
FOR THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY.
[ Panting ]
GO ON WITHOUT ME, FELIX.
JUST LEAVE ME SOMETHING TO READ.
THERE'S A BOAT WITH PROVISIONS IN
IT HIDDEN NEAR THE EDGE OF THE BEACH.
I'M NOT LEAVING YOU.
I'LL CARRY YOU
OUT OF THE JUNGLE.
[ Grunting ] SAY, YOU'RE
HEAVIER THAN I THOUGHT.
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW
I'M NO EASY PICKUP.
MAYBE I COULD MAKE A SLING
OUT OF SOME VINES.
THAT WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO MOVE
YOU. GROOVY, BUT HURRY, WILL YA?
DON'T GO AWAY NOW.
[ Howling, Snarling ]
PUT HER DOWN, YOU DIRTY DOG! [ Snarls ]
SAY, BITING'S NOT FAIR. PUT UP
YOUR FISTS, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN.
ATTACK! KILL! MAIM!
DECAPITATE!
GET AWAY, FELIX!
RUN TO THE BOAT!
SAVE YOURSELF!
[ Howling ]
COWARD! RUNNING AWAY JUST AS I WAS ABOU TO THRASH YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!
HOW DO YOU DO?
HIYA, FELLAS.
[ Whistles ]
NICE DAY, ISN'T IT?
YOU ARE NOW OUR PRISONER.
[ Sneezes Violently ]
BLESS YOU. THANK YOU. IT'S AN ALLERGY.
[ Coughing, Hiccupping ]
- YOU HAVE IT!
- HAVE WHAT?
THE BARON'S SECRET FORMULA
THAT CAN DESTROY MATTER!
I DO?
OH, I DO! I DO!
DO NOT POINT THAT VIAL
AT ME!
OH, SO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS
VILE, VILE VIAL, HUH?
WELL, GOOD.
THEN YOU KNOW WHAT WILL
HAPPEN IF I DROP IT.
TAKE ME TO FRANCESCA.
MOVE!
OR I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT!
AHA! FROZEN WITH FEAR,
ARE YOU?
YOU DIDN'T REALIZE THAT RAPIER-KEEN,
SILKEN-SMOOTH FELIX FLANKEN...
COULD BE SO ROUGH AND TOUGH
AND HARD AND STRONG...
AND MANLY AND VIRILE
AND-
AND WEAK... TIMID...
AND PETRIFIED AND-
[ Chuckles ]
HI-HO, THERE!
MAY I GET YOU A BANANA?
[ Roaring ]
OH, MONSTERS, BEASTS-
FRANCESCA- FRANCESCA!
MUST SAVE FRANCESCA!
[ Roaring ]
[ Growls Gently ]
[ Roars ]
[ Continues Roaring ]
YOU WERE A FOOL
TO HAVE IGNORED ME...
AND TO HAVE GONE
WITH THAT FLANKEN!
NOW, AT LONG LAST,
YOU ARE MINE, FRANCESCA!
YETCH, YOU WRETCH,
DON'T TOUCH ME!
TOUCH YOU?
[ Chuckles ]
AT LONG LAST,
I AM GOING TO KISS YOU!
OY VEY!
THAT FRANCESCA'S SOMETHING!
SHE CAN FLY ME TO THE MOON
WITH HER KISSES!
[ Panting ]
MUST... GET TO FRANCESCA.
MUST... SAVE HER!
[ Roaring ] HELP! [ Screams ]
[ Continues Screaming ]
OHH! OH! OH!
[ Roaring ]
[ Screaming ]
TOO LATE! TOO LATE.
I'VE FAILED.
WHAT CAN I DO?
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER.
I'LL KILL MYSELF!
NO, FELIX, WAIT, WAIT! DON'T KILL
YOURSELF. WHO'S GONNA KILL MYSELF?
I ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE I
DIDN'T THINK ANYONE COULD HEAR ME.
BUT WHAT WILL WE DO, UNCLE?
I'LL SAVE FRANCESCA.
YOU GO BACK AND WAIT FOR HER
IN THE BOAT. I HAVE A PLAN.
BU - THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. TRUST ME. GO!
CAN I ASK YOU ONE THING?
YES, NEPHEW?
YOU KNOW A SHORTCUT?
I'M TIRED OF HACKING
AND CHOPPING.
[ Growling ]
YECH!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
PRAY HE DOESN'T STAR BEATING HIS CHEST.
YOU- WHY DON'T YOU
DO SOMETHING?
YOU'RE GOING
TO DO SOMETHING?
WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?
[ Groans, Sobs ]
YOU'RE CRYING?
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.
OH, THANK BADNESS.
FELIX IS ESCAPING.
ONE THING IS FOR SURE:
IF I EVER GE OUT OF THIS MESS ALIVE,
I'LL NEVER HACK AND CHOP
IN A JUNGLE AGAIN!
[ Engine Roaring ]
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, YOU.
PUT HER DOWN!
IT'S ME YOU WANT.
COME ON, FRANCESCA!
COME ON!
WHERE ARE YOU?
FRANCESCA!
YOU CALLED?
QUICK, FELIX.
START THE ENGINE.
WE'VE GOT TO GET AWAY
FROM HERE. B- BUT MY UNCLE-
WHAT OF HIM? IT'S TOO LATE.
NO ONE CAN HELP HIM NOW.
QUICKLY, DARLING,
MY BELOVED, MY SWEET,
BUG OUT!
YES, ALL RIGHT.
AND NOW YOU,
YOU OVERGROWN CHIMPANZEE.
YOU'VE CAUSED ME ANGUISH
FOR THE VERY LAST TIME.
AND ALL OF YOU, WITH YOUR
JEALOUSIES AND YOUR HATES.
YOU WANTED MY VIAL.
YOU'D KILL MY NEPHEW FOR IT.
WELL, NOW YOU SHALL SEE
THAT BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...
IS NOT ONE TO CROSS.
TRUE, YOU WON'T SEE I FOR TOO LONG A TIME.
BUT FOR ONE SECOND
- [ Chuckles ] OH, BOY!
I KNOW IT'S WRONG, BUT I HAVE THIS
TREMENDOUS URGE TO SING "AULD LANG SYNE."
DID YOU CLOSE THE WINDOWS
IN YOUR ROOM?
WELL, IT'S ALL OVER, MY
DARLING. WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.
MY PLACE ISN'T MUCH-
TWO SMALL ROOMS,
A FURNISHED MEDICINE CABINET.
BUT WE'LL BE MARRIED.
AND SOON THERE'LL BE THE SOUND
OF TINY FLANKENS RUNNING AROUND.
OH, FELIX!
[ Sobs ]
WH-WH-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT HAVE I SAID?
WE'LL GET A BIGGER PLACE.
I'LL GIVE UP SNEEZING.
WHAT IS IT?
OH, FELIX,
I CAN NEVER MARRY YOU.
YOU CAN'T?
YOU DON'T LOVE ME?
YES, I DO. I DO LOVE YOU, AND
THAT'S WHY I WON'T MARRY YOU.
WELL, FRANCESCA,
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I CAN'T KEEP ON DATING YOU
IN JUNGLES.
NO, FELIX. THERE'S
SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU.
HAVEN'T YOU WONDERED
WHY I WAS ON THAT ISLAND?
YOU SEE, I'M NO A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU ARE.
I WAS CREATED BY FRANKENSTEIN
AFTER THE MONSTER AND HIS MATE.
I WAS HIS MASTERPIECE.
BUT WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE A HEART,
I HAVE A SPRING THAT WILL UNWIND.
WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE LUNGS,
I'VE GOT A PUMP THAT RUNS
ON BATTERIES WHICH WILL RUN OUT.
WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE
ELBOWS AND KNEES,
I HAVE METALLIC JOINTS THAT WILL
ONE DAY GROW RUSTY AND STIFFEN.
I'M JUST A MACHINE WITH HUNDREDS OF
PARTS THAT WILL EVENTUALLY WEAR OUT.
WELL, FRANCESCA-
[ Sneezes Violently ]
WELL, FRANCESCA, NONE OF US ARE PERFEC - [ Clicking ]
ARE PERFECT- [ Clicking ] ARE PERFECT-
[ Clicking ] ARE PERFECT- [ Clicking ]
[ Continues ]