Relic Hunter s01e03 Episode Script

Faster, faster.
Faster.
We burned the village.
The shirious are sure to follow.
Who is that? Who is she? He cut her head off.
Dear, god, she's a holy woman.
This is a bad sign.
I could not see that she was a nun.
She will explain that to god.
We'll all burn in hell.
Hurry, the villagers are coming.
Halifax tower, this is c a-one- three-niner requesting a phone-patch, over? Sydney, where are you? A few minutes from the coast.
I'm going to gas up in h alifax and head home.
H ow did it go? The settlement was untouched.
I picked up some unbelievable pieces.
Rasmussen's crown? That's a roger.
Yes.
Lan mackenzie was there looking for it, too.
It wasn't easy giving him the slip, but i finally did.
Well, you were more determined, as usual.
This time, anyway.
You don't give yourself enough credit.
You underestimate yourself.
Thanks, n igel.
Got an eta of sixteen hundred hours.
And where's claudia? In class.
She doesn't have a wednesday class.
N o, a yoga class.
Call blaine at the museum, tell him the crown is safe and sound and all his.
Right.
Will do.
Well, it should be plain sailing from here on in.
I mean, flying.
You know what i mean.
Roger that.
Ca-one-three-niner out.
Mackenzie? Sydney.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
It's nice to see you.
I promised this to a saudian prince.
Give it back now and i'll only break your right arm.
- Bit of bad luck.
- i always knew you were a jerk.
You're all right.
It's just a slight concussion, that's all.
Oh, i thought i'd n o, you survived the crash.
H eaven's much nicer than this.
I hope you don't mind we went through your things looking for some identification.
We found your name on your passport.
And when we searched the internet for more information we found more than we ever could have imagined.
You're a relic hunter, that's why you're here.
- What's why i'm here? - you find things that are lost.
And we've been praying for someone to help us.
What are you looking for? Sister evangeline.
Oh, a missing person is more the job of the police.
N ot in this case.
Sister evangeline disappeared four hundred years ago.
Femalist revolution, nigel.
I mean, no more women in ugly shoes telling us we're just the same as men because i mean, we're not.
We're different and we should enjoy it.
I mean, i love my breasts.
But we're also not different, either, which is also very cool.
I mean, women are just as mean and horny and power hungry as men are, maybe even more.
You don't look good.
Do you ever consider what it's all about? What what's all about? Why we are here, why we exist, what really is the nature of our being.
I know, i'm asking questions that don't have answers.
I never do that.
Ancient studies.
Sydney, yo.
Yeah, he's here kind of.
Pick you up? U h-huh.
N ot at the airport, at the what? Ex cuse me.
I'm sorry but i'm afraid i'm lost.
I'm i'm trying to get into town.
Oh, it's about two miles down the road.
Turn left at the sign that says town.
Where are you going in town? The sisters of mercy c onvent.
Oh, turn left at the second set of lights, right on bathurst.
It's about two blocks down on your right.
- You really know your way around.
- I live there.
- You're a nun? - Don't worry, it's not contagious.
N o, of course not.
I'm sorry.
It's just well, you don't look like a nun.
The penguin thing.
Black on black on black.
I'm an idiot.
N o, you're normal.
People get into the habit of expecting habits.
- That's changed.
- Can i give you a lift? N o, thank you, i've got another five miles to run.
Training for a triathlon.
- Bye.
- Bye.
U mm ex cuse me, sister, i was wondering if you could help sydney? You haven't! Did you? I mean, i've been thinking about things as well, but god.
Well, that's the point, of course, isn't it? God.
Well, i i meant it only as an ex clamation of emphasis, not as anything derogatory.
- Are you finished? - Why, yes, i think so.
Are you? Okay, relax.
I just needed something to wear after the plane crash.
I couldn't resist trying the whole thing on.
What do you think? Looks hot.
H ow are you feeling? Fine.
God.
Good! We're booked on a plane out of h alifax.
Change in plans.
We're going to stay and help the nuns find sister evangeline.
Sister evangeline? Well, just her body.
H er head's buried under the statue.
Right, and they became separated because? The poor thing was murdered.
Just thought you'd like to know your clothes are dry.
And you must be n igel.
H i.
The man responsible sailed over with samuel champlain.
The french explorer? N o one knows what happened exactly but champlain was shocked by the deed.
H e ex ecuted the murders and gave all he owned to the nuns.
Yes.
Sailed back to france, a man very spiritually confused.
I had almost given up hope of finding her.
And then sydney was delivered from the heavens.
Something like that.
Sister, do you have any idea where champlain's fort was? U h-huh.
You're standing on top of it.
The convent was built where the fort had been.
We discovered the remains when our foundation was being replaced.
- The tunnels are remarkably intact.
- They've never been ex cavated? We wanted to, of course, but the cost.
Maybe we can find something to start with.
Well, if you see sister evangeline, ask her to lend a hand.
You don't really believe that, of course.
That sister evangeline is here, watching over us? N ever seen her, but i've certainly felt her presence.
It's right down there just follow the foundation walls.
Do you mind? Oh, help yourself.
I'll get your rooms ready while you're working.
We're staying here? Here we go again.
Watch your step.
This way.
Must be where the murderers spent their last days.
Come back tomorrow, i'll bring some tools.
It's a sad fact of life but the days of relying on charitable donations are a thing of the past.
H ow do you make ends meet, sister? Fruitcakes and doilies? Wow looks like silicon valley.
We compile and maintain databases for over two hundred companies - around the world.
- You set this up? Derek did, a local builder.
N ow it's the bank, helped us get our loan.
Angels appear when you need them the most.
Sometimes they even land in the field.
I'm fine.
Spoke to sister mary, she said the washroom is the first door on the left and assured me it is strictly a nun-free zone.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- H i.
- H i.
It's there's been a mistake.
They said the this facility there wouldn't be there there wasn't supposed to be any women nuns, people it was supposed to be nun-free.
Well, no one told me.
Apparently not.
I i have to leave now.
- N o, no.
You don't have to go.
- Yes, i do, very much.
- I'm through with the shower.
- You are.
I mean, you are? And i think you were in the middle of brushing your teeth.
H ow's your room? My room? It's it's perfect.
And your bed? - My bed? Well, it's - like a rock, huh? Yeah, absolutely.
N uns used to sleep on wooden planks.
We've come a long way.
Leave your window open.
The ocean breeze is lovely and you can hear the foghorn from the point.
- Oh, i love the fog.
I'm english.
- I noticed.
Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
Oh, my god.
I'm such a klutz.
They say that cleanliness is next to godliness.
I pray that is true.
Fire! Fire! Fire! Well, i'm not exactly sure what i saw.
I mean, it was too dark to actually see a face.
If there was a face.
It was sister evangeline.
She set that fire.
The fire department says it was probably caused by faulty wiring sister.
She's sending us a message.
Well, if she did, i wish she'd used e-mail.
Sister grace doesn't believe we should be involved in computers.
I'm going to go take a look around.
This fire wasn't an accident.
C-40 blasting cap or what's left of it.
Where'd it come from? Over there.
Someone used it to start the fire.
And how can you be so sure of that, miss? C-40's used ex clusively at construction sites.
Since i haven't been whistled at all day, i think you need a cop out here.
- I am a cop.
- Then you'll be wanting this.
That fire could have burned this place to the ground.
If there's any chance that it was arson, you damn well find out who it is.
We will.
Ex cuse me.
We haven't been introduced.
I'm derek bushin.
I've heard about you.
You've done a lot for the sisters.
Yeah, well, now it's a total loss.
And sister mary was only a day away from signing an insurance policy.
You're kidding.
I know the agent she was working with, so, hopefully, i can work something out.
Can i ask you why are you looking for sister evangeline? Part of what i do is search for relics.
Every relic tells a human story, gives us insight into our lives.
Sister evangeline's life was a beautiful story.
Well, four hundred years is a long time.
Yes but champlain's fort's never been touched.
Maybe we'll be able to make a lead out of it.
Well, look, let me know if there's anything i can do.
I will.
Last one.
Give me a hand.
Just a little more.
Champlain's stockade.
Looks like he had room for quite a few guests.
Those were ratty times.
Why is it prisoners always write on the walls? Maybe when you're about to die you want to leave something behind that lives on.
It doesn't look like there is anything left here but bad memories.
Now, i have one of my own.
Someone fancied himself an artist.
A tree.
Very good.
The guy that killed sister evangeline was named laforet.
Forest in french.
Careful.
- got something.
- what is it? - E - l - f.
- Emile laforet.
Cross must be where sister evangeline is buried.
Why else would he put it on the map? If he didn't want anyone to know where she was why did he draw a map at all? Must be sister mary or someone from the convent.
Right.
- H ello.
- Who's there? H ello.
Is there anyone there? What was that? There it is again.
- Were you calling out for me? - Yes.
H orrible room.
Crime really didn't pay back then.
Laforet left this behind.
It might lead us to sister evangeline.
Watch your step, sister.
Nigel! Go sister, quickly.
Would you sit down, n igel? You're making me nervous.
I don't feel like sitting, okay? I just came within inches of losing my head.
Which seems to happen a lot around here.
That thing, how do you explain it? Whatever it was, it wasn't sister evangeline.
Of course not.
Sister evangeline was a woman of peace.
That could never change regardless of what happened to her.
Then what was it? There's more to this than meets the eye.
That's very comforting.
Take a look at this map.
See the way it lays out? It's like looking at a constellation of stars.
Connect the pictures - with a line and it forms a triangle.
- With the cross at the apex.
Sister evangeline.
La bouche diabolique.
The devil's mouth.
Exactly.
Does that mean anything to you, sister? I'm afraid none of this does.
Well, four hundred years ago the devil's mouth was probably another landmark.
The only thing i do recognise is this rock formation.
It's on the road leading out to the coast.
Is there anyone here that knows what this area used to look like? Paul.
You should talk to paul.
Is paul an historian? Pot of junk.
Look at him the wrong way to die.
Don't know how to build things that last, don't care about nothing but the god almighty dollar.
Sister mary said your family's lived here for three hundred years.
Three hundred and sixty seven.
Been downhill most of that time.
She thought you might help interpret this map.
Perhaps this is a bad time.
You might check the gas tank.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Don't you want to talk? Where you going to in such a hurry? That's the trouble with the world these days, everybody's in a hurry.
Windmill would have been in the van h elsen place.
Mini golf course.
There's the rock formation that sister mary mentioned.
Windmill was there, martin's grove there, stream to the right.
When i was a youngster, you'd come out here and see nothing but fields.
N ow, you got a yacht club, housing estates, a golf club behind there.
Sure it won't be long before starbucks'll be selling lattes to the mountain bikers.
This is where the lines on the map come together.
N o cross, no tree, at least not one that looks four hundred years old.
And nothing that looks like a devil's mouth.
Stump.
The bloody bench is built on a tree stump.
From its size, it could be hundreds of years old.
N o.
Sydney, is this sensible? I mean, it's a two hundred foot drop.
We're not jumping, n igel, we're climbing down.
But, what if we slip, fall? There are rocks in the water and god knows what else.
- You're being negative.
- I'm being practical.
This is a piece of cake.
I've repelled down hundreds of cliffs.
Well i have a hard time climbing out of a bunk bed.
The secret is not to look down.
That's what my father taught me the first time we climbed together.
- You ready? - N o.
- C ome on, n igel.
- C oming i suppose i can try anything once.
Devil's mouth.
I was wrong.
Totally.
I can't do this, not even once.
H ow am i supposed not to look down when when all there is is down? Just grab the rope and close your eyes.
Right, good, thanks very much for the advice.
Oh, god.
- Are you coming or not? - I'm coming i never want to have to do anything like that again, sydney.
Paul says we've got about half an hour before the tide fills this up.
N ot much of a cave, is it? I stand corrected.
I've never seen anything like it.
It's immense.
It's also a dead end.
Maybe.
We we really should get back.
I'm sure you're right.
N o, wait.
Man-made.
Apparently.
- laforet.
- Yes.
A door.
N igel! We haven't much time left.
We should come back after the tide's gone out again.
Right, ridiculous suggestion, of course.
Looks like a cathedral.
Sister evangeline.
It's more than sister evangeline.
Laforet must have figured he couldn't risk coming back here.
N ot after he chopped a nun's head off h e left a map for whoever he would send back to retrieve the treasure for him.
- It's a bloody fortune here.
- Bloody might be the right word for it.
What do you mean? N o one leaves a fortune unprotected.
Sydney! C ome on, grab my arm.
Thanks.
This is a miracle.
It certainly is.
I could have been killed.
We found sister evangeline.
Well, what's left of her, at any rate.
And enough money to get the nuns all the computers they need for another four hundred years.
I'm afraid their credit's already short.
This is what i meant by more here than meets the eye.
You're way too clever for your own good.
N o, i've just had more experience than the nuns with guys like you.
- But he arranged the loan.
- H e also arranged for the fire.
When the bank forecloses he snaps it up, gets it at fire sale prices, so to speak.
H e's a developer.
It's just good business.
And the convent's sitting on the best real estate in town.
Which they wouldn't dream of selling.
There are ways to make people sell when they won't do business with you.
And you don't care who it hurts.
You know, it took a real pro to set a fire like that and, oh, you seem to have exactly the same size feet as our headless sister evangeline.
Way too clever.
C ome on, the tide's coming in.
Let's get them down into the cave.
What about all that? No, we'll bring my truck back for it tomorrow.
Let's go! She's not going to be happy.
Oh, sister mary's a survivor.
She'll get over it.
I was talking about sister evangeline.
You're making a big mistake.
There are some things you don't mess around with.
Oh, i worry about a lot of things but a nun who's been dead for four hundred years is not one of them.
H urry up.
You're going to be underwater in a few minutes.
You know that miracle you were talking about, sydney? We could sure use another one.
What the hell's that? The wind.
That's not the wind.
N o, it's not.
You shut up.
It's the damn wind.
It was the wind, wasn't it? She's at peace now, thanks to you.
We've got a lot to thank sister evangeline for.
She is amazing.
- I'm going to go pack our stuff.
- Right.
You know, it's it's well-known that sister evangeline had a strong voice and a fierce temper.
- Four hundred years ago.
- U h-huh.
Four hundred years ago.
Do you really believe it was her? Belief is a mysterious thing, n igel.
If we could prove what we believed in, it wouldn't be a belief any more, we would know.
I can't prove it was sister evangeline, but if you believe strongly enough, n igel, anything's possible.
Anything and everything.
I'm back.
H ave you heard the lilith fair c d? - I'm back.
- Yeah? I was gone.
Okay, what about the lilith fair c d? Isn't it amazing? I mean, women celebrating women? It's, like, completely empowering.
Like, totally.
And please get me a cup of tea.
- I don't think so.
- Ex cuse me? - N o tea.
- What, are we out? - N o.
- Then what? I don't get tea, sydney.
N o tea? What about coffee? N o coffee.
N o juice.
N o milk.
N ot any more.
Might i ask why, claudia? It's a form of gender enslavement.
I mean, you're only asking me to do this because i'm a woman.
N o, i'm asking you because i'm the woman you work for and you're my assistant.
See? My point exactly.
Subservience.
Speaking of subservient, where's n igel? H e won't be available for a while.
- Where is he? - Exploring.
Ours is a silent order.
We ask that our visitors completely refrain from talking.
Of course, of course.
We find we hear so much more when we're not talking.
Oh, yes.
Well, of course, that's why i've come, to hear my own voice.
- You're on a spiritual journey.
- I suppose i am.
Just embarking.
Go slowly.
It can be a little unsettling at first.
Yes.
One thing just before i start.
Is there a phone? Just in the monsignor's office.
Thanks.
It's just that i'm having second thoughts, sydney.
You know, talking is not allowed, apparently we eat in our rooms.
I'm going to be alone every single minute, day and night.
I'm just not sure i'm ready for this.
It's like running a bloody marathon before learning how to walk.
Claudia? What does she want? You and i need to stick together, nigel.
I mean, when you think about it, we're both oppressed.
Well, you're repressed as well, which is even worse.
But anyway these servant's tasks we're performing are just demeaning ourselves.
I mean, i was watching this limp bizkit video last night with this guy and he asked me to give him a shoulder rub because he's got this pain in his en glish