100 Things (2018) Movie Script
1
These are our great-grandparents.
They had 57 things.
Then there was a world war...
and inflation.
No matter. They believed in God
and a better life after death.
These are our grandparents.
They had 200 things.
Then they had Hitler.
And then they had nothing.
But no matter.
They believed in the future,
which promised prosperity.
These are our parents.
They had 650 things.
Then they had the wall...
and a Stasi file.
But no matter, reunification came
and they believed in freedom.
And this is us.
On average, we have 10,000 things.
10,000.
We have prosperity.
We have freedom.
The future is here.
And now?
Paul.
Paul, you have to get up.
Hey, it's time.
But we just went to bed.
Oh Paul, you're such a morning grouch.
- What time is it?
- 9:30 AM.
- Weather?
- Snowing and minus two Celsius.
- Oh, and the forecast is miserable.
- Never mind!
Hey Paul, guess what's
being released online today?
The Human Race Ultra Boost
by Pharrell Williams?
Better hurry.
Pre-sales start in five minutes.
- What? Show me!
- Find me.
I'm here.
Here! No, here!
NANA!
Paul! Don't be so rough.
Shit!
- You're kidding.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- Working out.
With an erection?
Go! Hurry up.
- Where's the suit?
- In the package!
- Which one?
- Under the one with the coffee machine.
It's funny. I start with the news,
then Trump tweeted something,
and via cat video links
I end up at YouPorn.
Trump, cats, YouPorn.
Merkel, polar bears, YouPorn.
It's a curse!
- Got it. What shoes?
- The Kanye West ones.
The white ones.
- When did you stop working yesterday?
- 2:53 AM.
Paul, enough. She's fine as she is.
Today she made her first joke.
Today, she's being sold
and you'll take a break.
Stop sleeping with your work.
I don't sleep with my work.
Shit! I'm getting a tumor!
Last one down loses!
Are you mad? Not my hair!
- I think you lost some again.
- What?
Every time!
How can you fall for that every time?
Because it ain't funny.
It's a serious problem!
Time to get that oil pan fixed.
It looks like Deepwater
Horizon behind us.
- Are you happy, Toni?
- What?
Happy. Are you happy?
Where is this coming from?
Well, I...
I'd be happy if you stepped on it and
your foot didn't burst through.
Relax. So there'll be
two or three others ahead of us.
100 THINGS
Number 126!
Who knew they'd all get up early?
They all look like us.
I thought we were something special.
What if they all have great ideas?
- Oh God, Toni, let's go!
- Paul!
Excuse me, what are you pitching?
We are minimalists.
- I see.
- We live with exactly 100 things.
Deodorant obviously isn't one of them.
And what is your idea?
We developed an app
that helps shed what's unnecessary.
- Why?
- Who profits?
- Nobody.
- We reject that logic.
People have to be free again.
Things need to have a value.
We only have this one planet.
Down with compulsive buying.
Wow! That's...
"Wow" is all I've got.
- We're safe.
- Thank God.
684!
Uh... Hello.
- I'm Anton Katz and this is Paul.
- Right.
Let's fast forward to the part
where it gets interesting.
We're in the 13th hour and my nanny
wants to go home for the weekend.
I am Antonietta Krcher,
Senior Talent Scout Europe.
These are Mr. Becht and Mr. Drger,
our client's lawyers' lawyers' lawyers.
And that's David Zuckerman.
- Who?
- Where?
- Zuckerman.
- He's watching?
Yes, anyone who enters here
could be the next Steve Jobs.
That was irony.
Nobody who enters here
is the next Steve Jobs.
So, what have you got for us?
Well, it's quite simple really.
I was wondering why the voice
on my phone is the same for everyone.
Regardless of whether I use it,
or Toni, or my mother, or you.
It's always the same dull voice.
So I figured, what if our phone...
had a personality?
Completely tailored to our person.
How would you do that?
I programmed the software
to recognize our emotion from our voice
and adjust to it.
Well, let's hear it.
- Now?
- No.
Not now. Any time but now.
Now is a terrible time.
Of course now. When else?
Hello, NANA.
NANA?
Um... NANA!
What is it, Paul?
Thank God. I thought you were gone.
But I mean, where would she go?
Paul, you're the funniest person I know!
You're also the only person I know.
That's her second joke!
- Did you like it?
- Fantastic!
I thought of it myself.
- You're great!
- You're great!
- Stop it!
- Paul, I love you!
Just pretending. I wouldn't fall
for with my own invention.
She just likes me.
Imagine if we combined that
with your databases.
- The possibilities are enormous.
- No, no!
The possibilities are endless!
With your computing power,
we could give psychological counseling,
keep old people company,
console children,
nobody would have to work or be lonely.
We could make people happy!
Excuse me.
Humanity is being made happy
for 13 hours now.
Happy, happy, happy...
Your enthusiasm
is giving me acid reflux.
Thank you very much.
You're probably wondering
what's in it for you.
These... are Paul's walking routes
in the past three months.
And this is Paul,
broken down
to his smallest character traits.
While Paul was configuring NANA,
we collected
every intimate detail about him.
We know his sense of humor,
we know his fears and preferences,
but most of all,
we know his weaknesses.
Excuse me... What?
As a test, we presented Paul
with some fitting offers,
and he bought all of them.
All of them.
151 products.
Sneakers he won't wear
because he wants them to stay new,
baseball caps he doesn't wear
because he loses them,
condoms he doesn't need...
because he doesn't.
What do you think
the industry would pay
to know Paul that well?
You see? I bet that's my nanny.
My children are probably
at a highway stop in Frankfurt/Oder.
Excuse me, I...
- Got a minute?
- Not now.
Are you kidding me?
You used me as bait?
If I'd told you,
it wouldn't have worked.
Now I look like an idiot
who would buy anything he sees.
- You did buy everything you saw.
- I didn't... That's not... Really?
Paul, you're a genius.
But you have no self-control.
You're a consumer whore.
- That's why you were perfect!
- I'm not a consumer...
This never happened before.
What?
- He called.
- Who?
Him.
Him?
He's offering four million euros.
Don't ask me why, I can't explain it.
- But...
- Yes!
Next month he'll be
at the Digital Midget Convention,
and he'd like to meet you.
Four million!
Hey Toni, can we talk about that job?
- What?
- Job offer!
- Now?
- Yes, I've had it.
I live in a cupboard under the stairs,
like Harry Potter.
Every time my parents come,
I have to rent a place on Airbnb.
Hi, I heard you're the new Steve Jobs.
- What?
- Jobs. Steve.
Job? Did she say job?
- Betty, I think she...
- Are you thick? That's my job.
I've worked seven years for peanuts.
I'm almost 30. I need a regular job.
If you think you can butt in
with your extensions and tramp stamp,
watch out,
I'll break your legs.
Find yourself a football player!
What?
Uh... Nothing.
Ronnie, have you seen Paul anywhere?
He's partying hard somewhere!
Right. I... Uh...
Paul and I were
going to say something together.
But I don't know where he is.
Right, when Paul told me about his idea
almost five years ago...
- We'd never have thought...
- Boring!
- Excuse me.
- Hey, Paul! There he is.
- Yes, here I am.
- Okay. Come on.
Sorry!
I had to order some new sneakers.
- Okay. Where was I?
- No idea. Where were you?
- When Paul told me about his idea...
- Yep!
- ...neither of us knew...
- I told him my idea.
- We never expected that...
- Never expected!
- That we'd get offered...
- Woo! An incredible offer!
- Are you going to keep doing that?
- Oops! No, no, no.
Sorry. Okay?
- Please.
- Thank you.
So, um... We only wanted
to thank you for all your hard work.
Toni got his first pubes at 17.
The last one in the class.
He was very late for his age in general.
He'd always put toilet paper
in his undies.
Okay, I see what's happening here.
That's why he needs
all that muscle and status symbols.
Paul is upset that we know
he's a consumer whore.
Really? Who's the consumer whore?
- It bothers you, right?
- You are.
You don't have any self-control.
- My watch, my coffee machine...
- He's constantly calling Amazon.
My climbing and diving gear...
I'm Toni, losing my hair!
I can do without everything,
because I don't identify with it.
Right. You can't survive a day
without your stuff.
- 100 days!
- No way.
Wanna bet?
Paul! Paul! Paul!
I'll get rid of everything I have.
Can you do that too?
- Everything? Really?
- Yes, every...
Fine, every day you get one thing back.
Oh, right...
And whoever gives up leaves
half his shares to the entire staff.
Are you nuts?
Oh! That's when he chickens out.
If it's about money,
he gets a little scared.
Because he's stingy.
Toni! Toni!
Paul! Paul! Paul!
Great! Now we have ten people
trying to catch us slipping up.
Nonsense! They're all drunk.
Tomorrow, they'll have forgotten.
DAY 1
Toni!
Shit!
Mom, do you need help?
Fuck!
How nice!
Hello.
Yes, that's a penis!
The foreskin.
Right. There's foreskin too.
You have it too.
It's great that he gets to see that.
I mean, Elke and I can't help him.
Look! It's like a python
wearing a turtleneck.
I really need to go.
Have a nice day.
Toni?
Oh God...
Thank God you're alive.
Everything's gone.
Everything!
My furniture, my things.
Oh God, my phone!
We have to call the...
You look like a steak.
- I slept on the heater.
- Why? What...
What happened?
You just can't handle alcohol.
I had a blackout.
Probably something in my drink.
Oh God, you read about that in the news.
Knockout drops, robbed...
What?
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
- No.
- Yup.
- No, no, no, no...
- Yes, and it was your idea.
But nobody would take that seriously.
Nobody took it seriously
until you promised shares.
I was drunk. That doesn't count!
Of course it doesn't count.
We'll both say it's off.
It was a joke.
- Both of us, together.
- Both of us.
- We won't lose face.
- Right.
- What can they do?
- What can they do?
Good morning, lads!
It sure took some work
to get it all to fit.
Hello.
The rent has been paid for exactly
100 days. We all chipped in.
Me too, even with my intern wage.
Here we wrote down the rules again.
Every day at midnight
you can take back one thing.
Shoes and socks count as one.
We're generous.
There's food in the office.
Your bank cards and money are in here.
Open this and you lose.
These are your weekend rations.
Betty brought it.
Superfood with Goji berries
and smoothies for the hangover.
- Thank you.
- Uh... Ronnie.
You don't have to be
so meticulous about the rules.
Do you know what this is?
This is the bikini Carrie Fisher wore
in Return of the Jedi.
It's being auctioned off at Christies.
Guess who's bidding?
Okay.
Listen, Ronnie...
Toni has something to say.
Paul's afraid he won't manage.
- Yes!
- That loser!
He's right.
You're starting with nothing.
Right. No keys.
You don't have glasses either.
Right, and...
This has to go too.
- Betty!
- Yes!
You said we'd call it off together.
Yes, and then I remembered
that my shares are safe.
I can't lose against you!
No, I won't do it. Oh God!
I'm taking the car.
Right. Then that's your first thing.
What?
Toni, bring me something!
Shit! Toni!
- My things.
- Those idiots.
- Everything's still here.
- Everything's mixed up.
Okay, let's be logical.
Okay, let's be logical.
Warm up, get dressed, dry off.
Cover nudity, warm up, get dressed.
My phone.
My suits.
That's cashmere,
you have to hang it up.
NANA!
NANA, can you hear me?
You've got to be kidding.
I'll take the coat. I'm ready.
And you?
That's your first thing?
- Yes.
- Are you going to roll home?
Shit.
That's good.
Open your coat.
Why?
- Show me.
- No.
- Dude!
- It's both David Beckham. Counts as one.
- Take it off!
- What?
The coat's too thin,
the sweater too short.
I don't happen to keep a survival kit
from Patagonia in my garage.
Trousers or sweater?
Trousers. Sweater!
The sweater...
Fuck, I can't do this!
Stop it! No!
Hi, I don't mean to interrupt.
May I?
Oh, thank God.
Thank you.
You can hang up, I found it!
Oh, I'd take the coat.
The sweater's a little short.
Fuck!
First one home gets to take a bath.
What? No, it's my bathtub.
Your shoulders are abnormal.
You eat too much protein.
Now what?
DAY 2
I can't take it anymore.
It's as if someone pressed pause.
The music in my life is gone.
I only hear my thoughts.
Ever notice how much shit you think?
If I listen for five more minutes,
I'll jump out the window.
Will this day never end?
- It's 8:45 AM.
- Oh God!
- What are you picking next?
- I'm not telling.
What does that say?
- Hey, stop looking!
- Where did you get chalk?
You're cheating! I want chalk too.
- Go upstairs.
- I'm bored.
- Deal with it.
- You can give up any time.
- Fuck you!
- Excuse me?
Mom!
I tried to reach you,
but your phone is off.
I know!
You're doing what?
- 100 days.
- 100 things.
Why?
- Isn't it obvious?
- Is it?
- It is?
- It's a political statement.
It's a statement against consumerism.
Yes, that's one way of putting it.
My word, finally he gets it!
And I thought you had no backbone.
In '89, they hosed us off the Wall
with a water cannon.
Why? So we'd buy and buy
and buy some more.
How about being human?
- Eh... Wolfgang?
- Money isn't all that matters.
How is it going with your thingy?
Your app?
You said someone was interested?
Eh... Yes, Mom, but...
What would you get
for something like that? 5000?
- Not quite.
- 4000?
Renate, stop it already. I'm proud.
The youth awakens.
Men, I'm buying you something to eat.
Give me some money.
There's a McDonald's on the corner.
You hell raisers!
In '89 he fought for free elections,
and now he'll vote AfD or not at all.
He just can't handle it that Marx
turned out to be right in the end.
Speaking of Marx...
How is your mother?
She's flying around the world,
giving lectures on the end of the West.
Some people always land on their feet.
Usually on those of others, yes.
You look tired.
Are you eating enough?
Your father and I
are going to the Baltic Sea.
I cut out some coupons.
I need a little romance and stuff.
Or else I'll forget
why we're married. Paul?
Paul, you'll look after Grandma,
or she'll climb the chairs
and clean the windows.
Oh, no. Mom!
Anton, stop grinning.
You're going too.
And put something on.
DAY 3
- NANA!
- Paul!
- I missed you.
- I missed you too!
Stop joking and show me.
How can I when you keep joking?
NANA?
DAY 7
Uh... isn't that cheating?
I slept 0.02 hours.
My back and neck hurt.
I haven't crapped in three days, because
you feed us cereal bars and bananas.
One word to Toni
and I shove R2D2 up your ass.
- I see.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Paul?
Coming!
Betty?
I want to change my bet.
500 on Toni.
Then no one is betting on Paul.
Then who are we betting against?
David Zuckerman asked me to say
he looks forward to meeting you.
And we took the liberty
of sending you a little security guide.
The man is worth more
than the GDP of Austria.
So there are some things to consider.
That was a joke, about Austria.
He's worth three times that.
The security regulations.
Half of them.
Then I ran out of paper.
- Oh, Paul, you're mother called.
- Fuck!
Grandma?
Grandma, look who I brought!
Grandma?
Grandma!
Out of protest?
- Yes, Grandma. We got rid of our things.
- But Paul's losing.
Who is that?
- It's me, Toni.
- Anton Katz, Grandma.
- He used to live with us.
- I know that.
- Who?
- Toni!
Toni.
Handsome Toni?
That's right.
You dropped my incense smoker once.
It came from the Erzgebirge.
It's missing an arm now.
- No, that was Paul.
- Excuse me? Listen.
I got to light it
and you pulled it away from me.
It was the only thing you couldn't have.
My grandma, my incense smoker.
See? You're so petty.
Mom bought half the toy store for you.
I had those shitty jeans, you got Lego.
Don't you have wives?
No Grandma, we don't have time.
He hasn't been in love
since Anna Kloske.
What happened to her?
She left me for someone else, Grandma.
For whom?
- Hey, please.
- Really?
My God, Paul, it was
in 12th grade. Get over it!
- I had some nice, long...
- Yes, long.
- ...relationships.
- "Nice" is debatable.
Better than sleeping with someone else
every night to feed your ego.
- They were all so bitchy.
- Bitchy?
Better than your fuckdoll
with fake tits.
You can't get a woman with character.
They can smell
something's wrong from miles away.
I'll go find the incense smoker.
Time to smoke a peace pipe.
Look, NANA.
- This one or...
- Yes, I like that one.
- Or this one?
- With those sneakers?
Obviously Oscar de la Renta.
Hello.
Having some trouble smoking?
It's from the security guard.
Part of the outfit.
Can you take a picture?
Sure.
- Okay.
- Okay, wait.
NANA, can you hear me?
Sorry Paul, but this month's
data limit has been reached.
What? That's impossible.
What are you two doing here anyway?
Is it an art project?
It's a bet.
- A bet?
- 100 days consumption-free.
- Are you guys tree-huggers?
- Not really.
- What for then?
- Just like that.
That's stupid.
You wear a bra over your dress
and live in a garage.
- It's fashion and I don't live here.
- Do you want a date?
I think you just lost me.
- What?
- What?
Yes, a... date?
A date?
Fuck! I have nothing to wear!
Don't cook some vegetarian shit, okay?
What do you say now, huh?
I can't get a woman with character?
If you have a problem
with your internet connection...
- ...please say "four".
- Four.
Due to the high number of callers,
this call may be subject to delays.
The remaining waiting time
is 27 minutes...
31 minutes.
45 minutes.
Did you already
consult the internet for help?
Meike Schmidt,
what can I do for you?
Hello?
- Hello?
- Please! No, no, no...
No, no, no!
Your current waiting time
is 1300 minutes.
The next available representative
has been reserved for you.
Save me.
- What's wrong with you?
- I got stuck in the Twilight Zone.
Oh, no...
I can't go online because I can't pay
and I can't pay without going online.
- Oh God.
- I've seen hell.
This is how the world will end,
in a hotline.
Come in, I'll make you some tap water.
Tell me something terrible
from your life to lift my spirits.
How's it going?
- With what?
- With the date.
What about it?
Is it going terribly?
No. Why?
Well, because you have
nothing to entertain her with,
you turned skinny
and unattractive without your protein,
your hair
is falling out without your pills.
What?
- Where?
- In the back. It's barely noticeable.
Shit! Take a picture.
Come on.
- Are your eyes dry?
- What do you want from me?
I spent four hours on the phone. Four
hours of my life I'll never get back.
- My phone is supposed to save me time.
- Then put it away.
- What?
- Just put it away.
- Are you crazy?
- You see?
You just can't be alone.
You always need something.
Your possessions possess you.
Nonsense.
Ever wondered why you bought
all the things we offered you?
- Nonsense!
- Yeah!
Shit, shit, shit!
HAIR PILLS!!!
NANA, how many things
have I bought since we met?
151.
- How many did I already have?
- 24.
Hey, the Americans want
the test version of our program.
Send it to them.
- But...
- Pardon me?
This is a private conversation.
But, NANA...
why do I order things I don't need?
Because buying makes you happy, Paul.
What is happiness, NANA?
- NANA?
- I can Google "happiness" for you, Paul.
Betty!
Listen. What I'm about to say
will be our little secret.
Nobody can find out about it.
Oh God!
What does God have to do with it?
I knew this day would come.
You're Christian Grey,
I'm Anastasia Steele.
What?
You're the handsome, screwed-up boss
and I'm the shy intern
who steals your heart after
going through your torture chamber.
What are you talking about?
Fifty Shades of Grey.
Never read it.
Never mind.
I need your help.
I have a date
and I need to cook something.
A date?
I just don't know what.
And I need someone
to get the stuff from the supermarket.
Wouldn't that be cheating?
Well, I wouldn't buy anything.
The ingredients would just happen
to be in the refrigerator.
- Of course you would...
- 2.5K net.
14-month salary,
12 weeks holiday, paid.
- Oh, these ungrateful...
- Toni! Paul and I sent the Ame...
Isn't it time
to change your contact lenses?
They're weekly lenses,
you can keep them in a little longer.
Okay.
It's none of my business,
but I think it's time for new ones.
- I can't buy any.
- What about glasses?
Glasses!
I smell like a cow's ass,
my hair looks like shit
and your butter is giving me pimples.
- Maybe check a mirror.
- And now glasses too? Sure!
I'll look 15 again.
I have a date!
You just want me to look like...
Oh God!
Hello.
I haven't had many dates lately,
and I'm not an expert,
but I'd rather not skip the stage
where you still wear trousers.
I had to swap it for the glasses.
It's better this way, believe me.
Come on in.
Okay.
Do you like it?
I don't have any pepper.
Or salt either.
I just can't cook.
But I have wine.
Yes, please.
May I?
Oh, right.
There.
Cheers.
Okay, Lucy...
Tell me, what do you do
when you're not hanging out in garages?
Please, let's skip
the "what do you do" nonsense.
I...
I have no idea who you are.
You have no idea who I am.
We can be who we want to be.
So, just make something up.
- Anything?
- Yes, be spontaneous.
Spontaneous, don't think about it.
Three, two, one.
I'm a millionaire.
A millionaire?
From what?
I sold an app.
An app...
A millionaire?
In an empty apartment?
I can't trust anyone, they all want
my money, so I'm playing poor.
You're playing poor
because you're looking for true love.
- Like everyone.
- Someone who loves me for myself.
Or someone
who loves you for your secrets.
But who might that woman be?
Good question.
On the street, the millionaire
wouldn't even notice her.
She is moderately attractive,
but she has an excellent taste
in fashion.
"Moderately attractive".
The millionaire is testing her.
He did everything to scare her off.
He's not wearing pants.
- He cooked terribly.
- Without salt.
- He makes it hard for her.
- But...
The woman won't be fooled.
Well, I think you look great tonight.
Far above average.
Something's running out of your eye.
Something yellow. Don't rub it.
Oh God!
I know they're a bit red,
but it's just the lenses, I...
Oh God!
- Oh God, oh God...
- Hold this, please.
What are you doing?
Chamomile tea.
- Do you think it's a good idea?
- It's all I found at the gas station.
- It's boiling hot.
- Not at all.
That's not chamomile, it's peppermint.
- What?
- Smell it.
Sorry.
Oops.
I couldn't resist. Nurses are sexy.
Really?
May I open my eyes now?
Definitely not.
Stay still.
I'm a little hot.
I'm taking something off
if you don't mind.
I know this is a bit unprofessional,
but...
there's a reason
I got kicked out of nurses' school.
Careful. Hold still.
Hello! I thought you might need dese...
Hello.
- Hello.
- Where's Toni?
- In the bathroom.
- You're disturbing us!
Why? What are you doing?
Hold still or the teabags
will slide down!
- Teabags?
- Come in.
- I bought 151 things. 151! Why?
- Because it's nice!
- More, I think.
- Because it makes you happy.
Because it makes me happy.
- Great dress, by the way.
- Thank you.
But when I buy things to make me happy,
what does that say about me?
That you're not happy.
Exactly.
Or else you'd just stop.
Why else would I keep wanting more?
That's not your decision to make.
Your brain is from the Stone Age.
It's always afraid to starve.
That's how it's wired. Hoard and eat.
I'm not a Neanderthal,
I have a free will.
Bullshit! There is no free will.
- No?
- Consider your phone.
It is designed
to appeal to your Stone Age brain.
You have to become dependent.
You can't fight back.
So it's not about happiness at all?
It's about the promise of happiness.
People have to move.
Always chasing that carrot.
So that means nobody can be happy,
or the business goes south.
Exactly.
What is... What are you doing?
- What is she doing?
- I don't...
I'm just going to the toilet.
- Shit! You see?
- I'm over here.
Thank you for putting her off!
I was so close to the finish line.
And that wasn't easy.
I mean, just look at me!
Then you walk in
with your Ecumenical Church Day.
- You were talking the whole time.
- This is about Anna Kloske.
- What?
- You are so vindictive.
"Alright, let's talk about happiness".
I know what you're up to.
I'm getting that chick tonight,
you can bet your life on it!
- I thought you might care about what...
- Walk me to the door.
Go.
- Why?
- Go to the door.
Yeah, uh...
Sorry, uh...
Paul had to go to bed.
He's gone.
I heard.
You want to get the chick.
Excuse me?
You were so close to the finish line.
I think that was a misunderstanding.
Yes, I think so too.
Stop, stop, stop...
Stop, stop, stop...
Fuck. Sorry.
Grandma?
I'll make you some food.
- Grandma!
- Whoa, that's heavy.
Grandma!
Grandma, you can't do things like that.
- Who else will do it?
- What do you want with that?
There were two boys here the other day.
- Yes, that was us.
- I know that.
Me and Toni.
Handsome Toni?
That's right.
What does that
have to do with the suitcase?
I don't remember.
I saved it when we fled.
We weren't allowed to take more.
- May I?
- Go ahead.
Wait, so...
All your possessions fit in there?
There were six of us in one room.
At the refugee camp.
Nobody wanted us.
Kind of like today.
Yes.
People forget.
Is that Grandpa?
Show me.
Does he look like Grandpa?
Then who is he?
I made the dress
out of our nice tablecloths.
We didn't need them anymore.
- Look at you smiling.
- That's impossible.
You are. Look.
You look super happy.
Well...
We were young. We survived.
That was already a lot.
What is it, Paul?
Nothing, Grandma.
It's just the smoke.
Come here.
Hey, come here.
Like in the old days.
Grandma, I'm almost 37.
Everything was easy for you, Grandma.
You had nothing.
But you were still happy.
We have everything.
We can eat when we want to,
what we want to...
Nobody shoots at us,
nobody locks us up.
We have no reason to be unhappy.
You had the war.
Poor boy.
Why aren't we ever happy for long?
Happiness is like water, Paul.
If you try to hold on to it, you'll
go through life with clenched fists.
Nurse!
I need your help.
I can't get these stupid drops in.
Hey, don't look.
Hold still, or the drops won't stay in.
Yes, it's okay...
What are you doing here anyway?
It's long before midnight.
I wanted to see you arrive.
I'm not dressed yet.
I'll help you.
Wow.
Why do you have all this?
This isn't all of it.
Yes...
Wait...
I'd like to see you more often.
Yes.
On one condition.
What?
What's in here, stays in here.
Okay.
You won't come after me.
Okay.
- Nervous?
- Nah.
- In ten minutes?
- Yo!
But you're not wearing that?
Did you pick up your suit?
Suit or tea.
Oh God, they're coming!
What are they doing?
- Isn't it time you got glasses?
- You'd like that.
Stop staring out the window
and go do something cool.
Like what, drink coffee?
Go!
- What are they doing?
- Nothing, what...
Of course he drives electric.
You read the protocol?
- I gave up at page 200.
- His eyes were sore.
Hilarious.
Mr. Drger, please write that down.
If you misbehave, I will lose my job.
And then I can't pay my nanny,
and my nanny
can't pay her nanny either,
triggering
a devastating economic chain reaction
leading to the election
of a right-wing chancellor.
Did you hear me?
Please, Mr. Becht,
the executive summary.
Only speak when you are addressed.
You will show friendly,
un-German behavior.
When a joke is made,
you will laugh appropriately,
but refrain from making jokes yourself.
Should someone tell him
it's speaking Finnish?
Now... May I?
Yes, of course.
- Are you mad?
- Just wait.
What?
What?
What? Sorry.
- Are you out of your mind?
- 14 million!
Did someone open your skull
and take a dump in it?
- 14 million!
- Can you even hear me?
Can you hear what I'm saying?
14 million euros, Paul.
Your turn.
You just do what you want, huh?
Making big deals behind my back.
Why didn't you tell me?
- Because there is no deal.
- What?
I was just bluffing.
What?
Come on, he knows. He's not stupid.
But he still can't say no.
- Why?
- Because he wants the data.
He doesn't care that our app is cute
and makes people laugh.
His currency is data.
It's my app! I invented it!
And thanks to me
it's now worth 14 million euros!
But it wasn't about the money. We wanted
to do something good for people.
Paul, please stop whining.
People don't even know
what's good for them.
They want one thing and do another.
Happiness doesn't exist. All we need
to win are instincts and discipline.
To hell with a system
that's all about winning.
- That's why you always lose.
- I don't lose.
You do. Wait, who bet on Paul?
Nobody?
Why would that be?
Okay guys, isn't it time to celebrate?
Finally! You should really thank me.
Come on, let's drink the champagne now.
I just made this dump a fortune.
I don't want to waste my time
measuring dicks.
Yeah,
because we all know who'd lose then.
Pardon?
But maybe that's why
you have to inflate your ego like that.
- I'm not sinking to that level.
- Better not to.
- It's not a matter of size.
- It's relative. In Asia you'd be king.
- Yours is half foreskin.
- At least I have one.
- That's anti-Semitic.
- Now you're Jewish again?
My cock is fine!
Says who?
Several sources
independently confirmed it.
- Oh really? Who?
- Anna Kloske, for example.
- I'm betting everything.
- What?
We have 20 days left.
I'm betting all my shares on you losing.
What?
Come on, you player,
winner takes all,
and the staff gets half.
But without cheating.
Can you manage?
No more orders with Betty.
- I don't know what you mean.
- Come on! I'm not stupid.
Scampi and white wine in the fridge.
Eye drops?
- That's cheating.
- Cheating?
- Who keeps trading?
- Who keeps counting things as one?
- Like what?
- Your hair pills.
- Should I count every pill?
- Yes.
I'd like to see what you choose,
your hair or 14 million euros.
Your phone counts as 40 things in one!
Okay. Fine.
From midnight:
No cell phone, no trading, everything
counts, nothing from the office.
If you get caught, you lose immediately.
Deal.
- Hey!
- You said after midnight.
Sorry.
- Have you completely lost it?
- Why?
Did he put you on my case?
No.
Why are you spying on me, not him?
Greater likelihood of meltdown.
Shame on you.
- Shame on all of you!
- 14 million?
Friendship has its limits.
Want a bite?
- Eh... Paul?
- Yes, what is it?
Your mother.
- Yesterday? Why didn't you tell me?
- Your phone was off.
- Oh, shit. That's right.
- It all went well.
She has a cast now,
and she's still a little out of it,
but you can go visit her.
She'd like that.
She's not used to hospitals.
Dad is there right now.
This is awful.
Why does she do this?
It was to be expected
that she'd fall down sooner or later.
She won't listen to anyone.
What are you doing with her things?
I'm seeing
what she can take to the home.
- A home?
- Pauli...
She can't live alone anymore.
We can't be there for her all the time.
It's nice there.
She'll have things to do.
So you're sorting out
half her life, or what?
I wanted to ask you
if you want anything.
- Me?
- Yes, as a souvenir.
Look.
Do you know who that is?
No idea.
I think that was her true love.
A Russian soldier?
You see?
We don't know anything, Mom.
If even we don't know what
all this means, then who will care?
Without Grandma here,
it's all just stuff.
It's not about her memories,
but about yours.
So, do you want to keep something,
or not?
No.
What's wrong, Paul?
Nothing, I have no space this week.
We need you to help
with the move on Saturday.
- Tell Toni.
- Yes, I will.
- And visit her in the hospital.
- I will.
- Bring her cigarettes, or she'll go mad.
- I don't have money, Mom.
- Wait, I...
- No, Mom.
That's against the rules.
Take care, Mom.
Well, thanks for your help.
PSYCHOSOMATIC MEDICINE
What's this?
Bye. See you next week.
Bye.
And a good day to you.
There are one or two things
I'd like to know.
Not here, okay?
What are we doing here?
Hold this.
Give me your hand.
Here, 2500 euros.
Gucci, 4000 euros.
Prada, almost 6000.
How much in total?
68,743 euros.
How did you pay for all that?
First with my salary, then credit cards.
Then money I stole
from friends' wallets.
And they just went along with it?
Let's put it this way:
I don't have many friends left.
Show me.
Christ!
Stupid exercise.
- Why do you have to do that?
- So we realize we're not cured yet.
As if I need a reminder.
And now?
I have to give up everything
I have for seven years.
I have to move into a self-help flat,
go to therapy.
I have to face reality.
I'd say it's going quite well.
You hide all your stuff
and play princess at night.
You don't understand.
Trust me,
if anyone understands, it's me.
If all my things are gone...
what is left of me?
Before the bet...
I had 10,000 things.
10,000.
Last week, I had 77.
- Do you feel better now?
- I don't know.
You get a sense...
of how free you could really be.
Free and starving, in your case.
Sorry, I only ate half a banana today.
Please don't tell him.
I can be who I want to be
for two hours a day.
Don't take that from me.
Okay.
Promise.
I promise. What kind of a person
do you think I am?
Well? Hungry?
I wouldn't wait too long if I were you.
- Why?
- Um...
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
What would I have said?
I have nothing to say.
Good night.
Why shouldn't I wait?
Nothing, it was just a...
Don't give me that look. I hate that.
- Where's my deodorant?
- Paul, look at me.
Look at me!
With your eyes open.
There. Now what?
Until one of us blinks.
That's mean. I always lose.
Exactly.
Okay. She's not coming today.
Happy now?
- Why? How do you know?
- I just know. Now stop asking.
You better not pull any tricks.
It's not funny.
- It's really important to me.
- It?
- She.
- She?
Then what is her name?
Does she have a last name?
Where does she live?
What does she do? How old is she?
Hey, that's mean!
You know that I would like to know.
- But?
- But she won't tell me.
And why won't she tell you?
Toni, we both know how this works:
She lets you in, you lose interest.
Like always.
You let them stroke your ego
and then discard them.
Don't start with Anna Kloske again.
Toni...
you don't need anyone.
You don't even know
what it feels like to miss someone.
Because nothing's missing about you.
You're perfect.
You, all by yourself.
Leave her alone, man.
If you really like her...
then let her be.
Excuse me, I'm...
I had...
Never mind.
Here I am.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Come in.
Sorry, I...
Why can't I...
It's so stupid.
I swear I won't hurt you,
I won't throw you away.
Don't listen to him, please.
He told you.
Yes... No...
What exactly?
Take care, Toni.
You got the right idea.
Like Diogenes in the barrel.
The world is disgusting.
Being poor is a virtue!
What are you looking at?
It's still eatable.
No need to throw it away.
Consumerist pricks!
She's gone.
What?
Congratulations.
Why did you do that?
Why did I do what?
It was seized?
Did she steal it all?
She just has a ton of debt and...
A little psycho thing.
That's why you ratted on her?
I didn't rat on her.
Are you so fucking jealous
you can't let me be happy for a moment?
What?
You want me to never see her again.
I just said you're not good for her.
See her as often as you want.
How? Huh? How?
I don't know her name.
I don't know where she lives.
You said it yourself!
I can't call her!
- I don't know if she has a phone!
- Of course she does!
She called herself on that first night.
- From your phone.
- What?
Her number is on your phone.
Nons...
That's right.
Now you got me, huh?
What?
So that's why you did all this?
- What?
- So I'd get your phone and...
you win the bet?
- It's worth it for 14 million euros.
- Are you mad?
That's just like you.
You're only happy when everyone around
you is just as unhappy as you are!
Now I get it.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
I would be glad
if you'd explain it to me.
We always think we're best friends.
But we just know each other
for a long time.
There's a difference.
I give up.
You won. Have fun with the money.
She didn't know where she was.
Tried to get up
in the middle of the night.
With her broken hip.
It took a while before they noticed.
The second operation was too much.
Where were you?
What was so important?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Stupid bet.
I hate him.
He's your best friend.
No.
No, we're not friends.
- We are the hare and the hedgehog.
- What?
That was on the tape you always played
when he couldn't sleep.
- About the race?
- Yes.
He's always the better one,
the faster one, the stronger one.
- But...
- I'm done.
Oh, Pauli.
Would you rather have him
as your son?
No?
Be honest.
What kind of rubbish is that?
I don't know.
Everything he did was always good.
You were much harsher with me.
He just had a tougher life, Pauli.
Oh, Paul, you idiot.
Hello, this is Lucy Denske's mailbox.
Leave a message after the beep.
Hello?
Uh... sorry.
Lucy?
Lucy!
Lucy!
Go away!
Oh God, it's you.
- Are you still there?
- No!
Listen...
I'm sorry you got caught
in the crossfire.
Paul is a loser!
He doesn't know when to stop.
He shouldn't have done that.
What did he do?
Well...
He ratted on you.
All your stuff was seized.
I'm so sorry. I'll fix it for you.
Nobody ratted on me.
I turned myself in.
What?
You said there is no free will.
So I thought...
it's the perfect time
to prove the opposite.
Lucy!
Okay, how much debt do you have?
68,743.
- What?
- Yes.
- Is that it?
- Excuse me?
I'll pay it.
What?
You don't get it. I won!
I'm fucking loaded!
68,000 is peanuts!
I'll pay it with petty cash.
There are worlds between us, Toni.
Why? There are problems
and we'll solve them.
- You solve them.
- Okay...
I solve them.
And you think that's the end of it?
Yes! Why not?
Because I'm not cured.
I don't care.
You don't care?
This is my flat.
This is where I live.
It was assigned to me.
I have a legal guardian.
If I have more than a few euros
I spend it right away.
I lied so much in my life.
My own parents
won't talk to me anymore.
But you don't care.
I have a hole in my soul.
It can't be plugged.
Not with money, not with anything.
Look at me and tell me you don't care.
You see?
You need someone
who is just as talented as you are.
Someone who can keep up with you.
Not someone who just makes you
look a bit better by comparison.
I am not your project.
Congratulations, Toni.
DAY 99
Paul?
You can't keep ignoring me.
You have to come out some day.
I'm sorry.
- Still nothing?
- Nobody's seen him.
Should we be worried?
Did you get the contracts
from the Americans?
The lawyers said they're in the mail.
What a nice surprise!
- Hi, Wolfgang.
- Come in, Toni.
The game already started.
Is Renate in?
No, she...
She's cleaning up at Grandma's.
Some people may be interested.
What's going on with you?
Why weren't you at the funeral?
What?
We were wondering where you were.
Didn't he tell you anything?
We didn't have the chance.
What's with you two?
He'll never forgive me.
Come on. Lie down.
Like in the old days.
Renate, I'm 35 years old.
Nobody will see.
Come on.
Stupid bet.
You know, Toni...
it's about time
you stopped being children.
You need something real in your lives.
What do I know? Wives? A family?
Then you'll know what real problems are.
Probably.
Definitely.
Can you put in a good word for me?
He's so stubborn, he'll never give in.
He'd rather starve than leave his flat.
Toni, Paul left.
He's in California.
A first-class ticket.
Who'd pay for that?
No.
Paul!
Paul!
- Say "Hello, Toni".
- Hello, Toni.
Hello, Willi.
Could you please
tell Paul to fix his car?
Elke can't get the oil stains
out of Willi's trousers.
There's a trail of oil
running all down the street.
Fucking nature.
You really need to fix that oil pan.
You polluted half the city.
Greenpeace declared
a state of emergency.
Is this your version
of a bread crumbs trail?
You can't do that.
You can't just leave me alone.
Can you forgive me?
For what exactly?
For hitting you.
Okay.
- Really?
- Yes.
So...
we're fine then?
No.
Okay, what else?
You tell me.
For treating you unfairly.
Okay, forgiven.
- For gambling with our money?
- Forgiven.
- For abusing your data without asking?
- Forgiven.
For saying you were the driver
on that speed camera photo in Mallorca?
Forgiven.
For submitting your term paper
as mine? What?
What else?
You've got to be kidding.
Anna Kloske?
- What's there to forgive?
- Is that a serious question?
For the thousandth time:
It wasn't my fault.
- You still don't get it, huh?
- Paul, she chased after me!
Admit it!
Just admit it, you asshole!
What do you want?
If you'd at least liked her,
I would have forgiven you.
If she was so important to you,
why didn't you just call her?
Because it's not about Anna,
it's about you, you jerk!
I want you to admit it!
I don't know what.
You couldn't care less about her.
You wanted to hurt me.
Of course!
- What?
- I wanted to ruin it.
I wanted to take something from you.
I didn't want you to have that too,
in your perfect life.
What?
You have everything.
You have a home,
you have a family.
- They love you for who you are.
- It's your family too.
I always had to fight
for every bit of attention.
Do you remember the story
about the hare and the hedgehog?
Yes! Yes, you were always the hare.
That's how it felt.
Always running.
Always faster, straight ahead.
And no matter how fast the hare ran...
- The hedgehog...
- ...was already there.
Fuck.
The hedgehog won.
Because he wasn't alone.
But you aren't alone.
Hey, you can't just disappear.
I can't manage without you.
I hate mud.
I've got mud in my eye.
- Come on already.
- A bit higher.
Keep it in the flame or it'll go out.
To Grandma.
To Grandma.
Where did you find it?
The garbage bin?
I searched
all the junk shops in the area.
He wanted 12.50 euros.
That's too much for it.
I bought one thing on the 99th day.
I think I lost the bet.
I gave up before you.
When?
I didn't hear.
You didn't say anything.
Hello, Betty.
Where are you heading?
Not far in these Manolo Blahniks.
You look like someone
shot you with a make-up Uzi.
It's the Adele look. Okay?
The eyelashes weigh 30 grams.
I can barely open my eyes.
It took two hours to sew me
into this 4000-euro dress.
How did you pay for all that?
Credit card.
A prepayment on our victory.
- Are you that sure?
- You're not?
- Oh, I am.
- They're coming!
- Shit, they both made it.
- No way.
- I lost.
- What?
- What?
- You?
- I changed my bet.
- Nobody heard it.
- I said it loud and clear.
- When?
I lost too.
- What?
- I don't believe it.
- We didn't plan for that.
- What does that mean for us?
We're dividing everything
among everyone.
Everyone gets the same share.
You, us, everyone.
- How many are we?
- 12.
How much does that make?
- 14 divided by 12, you bum.
- That's 1,166,666 and 66 cents.
- For everyone.
- What?
No more casting couch,
no more "Mr. Director,
may I pick up your pencil?"
I'm buying the Death Star.
- I'm buying a soccer club.
- Too expensive.
- Hertha.
- Right.
- Oh God, I'm so excited!
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to puke.
- Wait, we wanted...
We wanted to make you an offer.
Anyone who wants to
can keep his share in the company.
We're doing something revolutionary.
Like what?
We'll step out of the rat race.
We'll take the money we won and...
We'll make something real.
Like what?
We could buy land.
We could create a place
where money isn't everything.
We could grow our own food.
We could trade.
We could be truly sustainable.
And we might only be a few,
but all big ideas started small.
And people know that
we can't go on like this, you see?
We are the revolutionaries!
We are the sand in the gears.
- Paul? Paul!
- We'll throw the wrench in the works!
- Paul!
- We will... What is it?
The Americans just released NANA.
- What?
- Huh?
"David Zuckerman
once again revolutionized the world.
Since last night,
700 million mobile phones
can install his revolutionary
voice recognition app NANA."
Hello, Ronnie.
Are you ready to step into the future?
14!
What?
Alright, be sure to take something home.
I'm paying off my debts with this.
Because...
I deserve it.
Hey Betty, let me buy you a drink.
No, when I'm drunk
I always want to make out.
- You are drunk.
- Really?
Yes.
It's over.
Yup.
- So we got to experience that too.
- What?
Being rich.
It just stressed me out.
Money gone, woman gone...
Everything gone.
Hello?
Sorry, but I'd rather have the woman.
Do you love her?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Come on.
Hello.
Hello.
I just wanted to tell you...
I'm not perfect.
I can't see well,
but I hate these glasses
for how they make me look.
I have bad breath in the morning.
I get grumpy when I'm hungry.
I have a reading disorder,
and I can't remember names.
I could never sleep with a closed door
because I had to know my Mom was there.
I always need to be right
and I like to lecture.
And I can't really commit,
but still I long for you.
Shall I continue?
What I want to say is that
we all have a hole in our soul.
We all hope that something
will make us whole again.
Money, attention, something.
A person.
Maybe that's bullshit.
Maybe we just have to grasp
that we'll never be finished.
Then we wouldn't destroy each other,
but we could be incomplete...
together.
Right, and...
I'm balding.
I think you need a new mattress.
- The squirrels are nesting in yours.
- Oh, shit.
I still needed it.
Just buy a new one then.
I can't.
Why not? I thought you were rich?
Well, uh...
It turns out it was a bit premature.
This is all I've got.
In order of importance.
- Orderliness is crucial.
- Yes.
And what you see here
are the five things...
I can't live without.
I only see four.
Oh God...
That's so tacky,
but it's so cute I could cry,
if it weren't so tacky.
- Paul came up with that.
- Yes, of course.
But I think it's pretty good.
Is a bankruptcy really
a good time to take a holiday?
It's the perfect time.
- We need some time to think.
- Fine. And then?
We'll see.
Bye.
Bye.
What are you going to live on?
We don't need much, Mom.
- Bye.
- Bye.
It kinda sucks though.
They stole your invention.
You can't just
let them get away with it.
They have more lawyers
than Berlin has residents.
No, that ship has sailed.
Maybe it's a tremendous opportunity.
What do you mean?
Well...
It's our program on their computers.
Our app is running
on 700 million phones.
What if there's a little loophole?
Dude, they turned it inside out.
I'm not talking about a virus.
Then what?
A little agreement.
For a last call.
And NANA would ask me
what she can do for me now.
And what would you say to her?
I don't know.
Maybe NANA
would speak directly to people.
Maybe she would show them
exactly what data is being collected.
She would ask us how we want to live.
Whether the things we buy
really bring joy into our lives,
or just clutter up our homes.
She would say: "The future is here.
We're right in the middle of it.
But we have to think for ourselves."
And do you know what the best part is?
Zuckerman would have to play along.
He couldn't go back.
He could hardly admit he stole NANA.
It would all have been his idea.
You didn't...
No, you didn't really do that.
I think that's mine.
Sorry.
Hello, NANA.
Good morning, Paul.
What a nice day today.
Yes, wonderful.
Is it time?
Yup.
Time to wake up.
Three...
Two...
One.
These are our great-grandparents.
They had 57 things.
Then there was a world war...
and inflation.
No matter. They believed in God
and a better life after death.
These are our grandparents.
They had 200 things.
Then they had Hitler.
And then they had nothing.
But no matter.
They believed in the future,
which promised prosperity.
These are our parents.
They had 650 things.
Then they had the wall...
and a Stasi file.
But no matter, reunification came
and they believed in freedom.
And this is us.
On average, we have 10,000 things.
10,000.
We have prosperity.
We have freedom.
The future is here.
And now?
Paul.
Paul, you have to get up.
Hey, it's time.
But we just went to bed.
Oh Paul, you're such a morning grouch.
- What time is it?
- 9:30 AM.
- Weather?
- Snowing and minus two Celsius.
- Oh, and the forecast is miserable.
- Never mind!
Hey Paul, guess what's
being released online today?
The Human Race Ultra Boost
by Pharrell Williams?
Better hurry.
Pre-sales start in five minutes.
- What? Show me!
- Find me.
I'm here.
Here! No, here!
NANA!
Paul! Don't be so rough.
Shit!
- You're kidding.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- Working out.
With an erection?
Go! Hurry up.
- Where's the suit?
- In the package!
- Which one?
- Under the one with the coffee machine.
It's funny. I start with the news,
then Trump tweeted something,
and via cat video links
I end up at YouPorn.
Trump, cats, YouPorn.
Merkel, polar bears, YouPorn.
It's a curse!
- Got it. What shoes?
- The Kanye West ones.
The white ones.
- When did you stop working yesterday?
- 2:53 AM.
Paul, enough. She's fine as she is.
Today she made her first joke.
Today, she's being sold
and you'll take a break.
Stop sleeping with your work.
I don't sleep with my work.
Shit! I'm getting a tumor!
Last one down loses!
Are you mad? Not my hair!
- I think you lost some again.
- What?
Every time!
How can you fall for that every time?
Because it ain't funny.
It's a serious problem!
Time to get that oil pan fixed.
It looks like Deepwater
Horizon behind us.
- Are you happy, Toni?
- What?
Happy. Are you happy?
Where is this coming from?
Well, I...
I'd be happy if you stepped on it and
your foot didn't burst through.
Relax. So there'll be
two or three others ahead of us.
100 THINGS
Number 126!
Who knew they'd all get up early?
They all look like us.
I thought we were something special.
What if they all have great ideas?
- Oh God, Toni, let's go!
- Paul!
Excuse me, what are you pitching?
We are minimalists.
- I see.
- We live with exactly 100 things.
Deodorant obviously isn't one of them.
And what is your idea?
We developed an app
that helps shed what's unnecessary.
- Why?
- Who profits?
- Nobody.
- We reject that logic.
People have to be free again.
Things need to have a value.
We only have this one planet.
Down with compulsive buying.
Wow! That's...
"Wow" is all I've got.
- We're safe.
- Thank God.
684!
Uh... Hello.
- I'm Anton Katz and this is Paul.
- Right.
Let's fast forward to the part
where it gets interesting.
We're in the 13th hour and my nanny
wants to go home for the weekend.
I am Antonietta Krcher,
Senior Talent Scout Europe.
These are Mr. Becht and Mr. Drger,
our client's lawyers' lawyers' lawyers.
And that's David Zuckerman.
- Who?
- Where?
- Zuckerman.
- He's watching?
Yes, anyone who enters here
could be the next Steve Jobs.
That was irony.
Nobody who enters here
is the next Steve Jobs.
So, what have you got for us?
Well, it's quite simple really.
I was wondering why the voice
on my phone is the same for everyone.
Regardless of whether I use it,
or Toni, or my mother, or you.
It's always the same dull voice.
So I figured, what if our phone...
had a personality?
Completely tailored to our person.
How would you do that?
I programmed the software
to recognize our emotion from our voice
and adjust to it.
Well, let's hear it.
- Now?
- No.
Not now. Any time but now.
Now is a terrible time.
Of course now. When else?
Hello, NANA.
NANA?
Um... NANA!
What is it, Paul?
Thank God. I thought you were gone.
But I mean, where would she go?
Paul, you're the funniest person I know!
You're also the only person I know.
That's her second joke!
- Did you like it?
- Fantastic!
I thought of it myself.
- You're great!
- You're great!
- Stop it!
- Paul, I love you!
Just pretending. I wouldn't fall
for with my own invention.
She just likes me.
Imagine if we combined that
with your databases.
- The possibilities are enormous.
- No, no!
The possibilities are endless!
With your computing power,
we could give psychological counseling,
keep old people company,
console children,
nobody would have to work or be lonely.
We could make people happy!
Excuse me.
Humanity is being made happy
for 13 hours now.
Happy, happy, happy...
Your enthusiasm
is giving me acid reflux.
Thank you very much.
You're probably wondering
what's in it for you.
These... are Paul's walking routes
in the past three months.
And this is Paul,
broken down
to his smallest character traits.
While Paul was configuring NANA,
we collected
every intimate detail about him.
We know his sense of humor,
we know his fears and preferences,
but most of all,
we know his weaknesses.
Excuse me... What?
As a test, we presented Paul
with some fitting offers,
and he bought all of them.
All of them.
151 products.
Sneakers he won't wear
because he wants them to stay new,
baseball caps he doesn't wear
because he loses them,
condoms he doesn't need...
because he doesn't.
What do you think
the industry would pay
to know Paul that well?
You see? I bet that's my nanny.
My children are probably
at a highway stop in Frankfurt/Oder.
Excuse me, I...
- Got a minute?
- Not now.
Are you kidding me?
You used me as bait?
If I'd told you,
it wouldn't have worked.
Now I look like an idiot
who would buy anything he sees.
- You did buy everything you saw.
- I didn't... That's not... Really?
Paul, you're a genius.
But you have no self-control.
You're a consumer whore.
- That's why you were perfect!
- I'm not a consumer...
This never happened before.
What?
- He called.
- Who?
Him.
Him?
He's offering four million euros.
Don't ask me why, I can't explain it.
- But...
- Yes!
Next month he'll be
at the Digital Midget Convention,
and he'd like to meet you.
Four million!
Hey Toni, can we talk about that job?
- What?
- Job offer!
- Now?
- Yes, I've had it.
I live in a cupboard under the stairs,
like Harry Potter.
Every time my parents come,
I have to rent a place on Airbnb.
Hi, I heard you're the new Steve Jobs.
- What?
- Jobs. Steve.
Job? Did she say job?
- Betty, I think she...
- Are you thick? That's my job.
I've worked seven years for peanuts.
I'm almost 30. I need a regular job.
If you think you can butt in
with your extensions and tramp stamp,
watch out,
I'll break your legs.
Find yourself a football player!
What?
Uh... Nothing.
Ronnie, have you seen Paul anywhere?
He's partying hard somewhere!
Right. I... Uh...
Paul and I were
going to say something together.
But I don't know where he is.
Right, when Paul told me about his idea
almost five years ago...
- We'd never have thought...
- Boring!
- Excuse me.
- Hey, Paul! There he is.
- Yes, here I am.
- Okay. Come on.
Sorry!
I had to order some new sneakers.
- Okay. Where was I?
- No idea. Where were you?
- When Paul told me about his idea...
- Yep!
- ...neither of us knew...
- I told him my idea.
- We never expected that...
- Never expected!
- That we'd get offered...
- Woo! An incredible offer!
- Are you going to keep doing that?
- Oops! No, no, no.
Sorry. Okay?
- Please.
- Thank you.
So, um... We only wanted
to thank you for all your hard work.
Toni got his first pubes at 17.
The last one in the class.
He was very late for his age in general.
He'd always put toilet paper
in his undies.
Okay, I see what's happening here.
That's why he needs
all that muscle and status symbols.
Paul is upset that we know
he's a consumer whore.
Really? Who's the consumer whore?
- It bothers you, right?
- You are.
You don't have any self-control.
- My watch, my coffee machine...
- He's constantly calling Amazon.
My climbing and diving gear...
I'm Toni, losing my hair!
I can do without everything,
because I don't identify with it.
Right. You can't survive a day
without your stuff.
- 100 days!
- No way.
Wanna bet?
Paul! Paul! Paul!
I'll get rid of everything I have.
Can you do that too?
- Everything? Really?
- Yes, every...
Fine, every day you get one thing back.
Oh, right...
And whoever gives up leaves
half his shares to the entire staff.
Are you nuts?
Oh! That's when he chickens out.
If it's about money,
he gets a little scared.
Because he's stingy.
Toni! Toni!
Paul! Paul! Paul!
Great! Now we have ten people
trying to catch us slipping up.
Nonsense! They're all drunk.
Tomorrow, they'll have forgotten.
DAY 1
Toni!
Shit!
Mom, do you need help?
Fuck!
How nice!
Hello.
Yes, that's a penis!
The foreskin.
Right. There's foreskin too.
You have it too.
It's great that he gets to see that.
I mean, Elke and I can't help him.
Look! It's like a python
wearing a turtleneck.
I really need to go.
Have a nice day.
Toni?
Oh God...
Thank God you're alive.
Everything's gone.
Everything!
My furniture, my things.
Oh God, my phone!
We have to call the...
You look like a steak.
- I slept on the heater.
- Why? What...
What happened?
You just can't handle alcohol.
I had a blackout.
Probably something in my drink.
Oh God, you read about that in the news.
Knockout drops, robbed...
What?
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
- No.
- Yup.
- No, no, no, no...
- Yes, and it was your idea.
But nobody would take that seriously.
Nobody took it seriously
until you promised shares.
I was drunk. That doesn't count!
Of course it doesn't count.
We'll both say it's off.
It was a joke.
- Both of us, together.
- Both of us.
- We won't lose face.
- Right.
- What can they do?
- What can they do?
Good morning, lads!
It sure took some work
to get it all to fit.
Hello.
The rent has been paid for exactly
100 days. We all chipped in.
Me too, even with my intern wage.
Here we wrote down the rules again.
Every day at midnight
you can take back one thing.
Shoes and socks count as one.
We're generous.
There's food in the office.
Your bank cards and money are in here.
Open this and you lose.
These are your weekend rations.
Betty brought it.
Superfood with Goji berries
and smoothies for the hangover.
- Thank you.
- Uh... Ronnie.
You don't have to be
so meticulous about the rules.
Do you know what this is?
This is the bikini Carrie Fisher wore
in Return of the Jedi.
It's being auctioned off at Christies.
Guess who's bidding?
Okay.
Listen, Ronnie...
Toni has something to say.
Paul's afraid he won't manage.
- Yes!
- That loser!
He's right.
You're starting with nothing.
Right. No keys.
You don't have glasses either.
Right, and...
This has to go too.
- Betty!
- Yes!
You said we'd call it off together.
Yes, and then I remembered
that my shares are safe.
I can't lose against you!
No, I won't do it. Oh God!
I'm taking the car.
Right. Then that's your first thing.
What?
Toni, bring me something!
Shit! Toni!
- My things.
- Those idiots.
- Everything's still here.
- Everything's mixed up.
Okay, let's be logical.
Okay, let's be logical.
Warm up, get dressed, dry off.
Cover nudity, warm up, get dressed.
My phone.
My suits.
That's cashmere,
you have to hang it up.
NANA!
NANA, can you hear me?
You've got to be kidding.
I'll take the coat. I'm ready.
And you?
That's your first thing?
- Yes.
- Are you going to roll home?
Shit.
That's good.
Open your coat.
Why?
- Show me.
- No.
- Dude!
- It's both David Beckham. Counts as one.
- Take it off!
- What?
The coat's too thin,
the sweater too short.
I don't happen to keep a survival kit
from Patagonia in my garage.
Trousers or sweater?
Trousers. Sweater!
The sweater...
Fuck, I can't do this!
Stop it! No!
Hi, I don't mean to interrupt.
May I?
Oh, thank God.
Thank you.
You can hang up, I found it!
Oh, I'd take the coat.
The sweater's a little short.
Fuck!
First one home gets to take a bath.
What? No, it's my bathtub.
Your shoulders are abnormal.
You eat too much protein.
Now what?
DAY 2
I can't take it anymore.
It's as if someone pressed pause.
The music in my life is gone.
I only hear my thoughts.
Ever notice how much shit you think?
If I listen for five more minutes,
I'll jump out the window.
Will this day never end?
- It's 8:45 AM.
- Oh God!
- What are you picking next?
- I'm not telling.
What does that say?
- Hey, stop looking!
- Where did you get chalk?
You're cheating! I want chalk too.
- Go upstairs.
- I'm bored.
- Deal with it.
- You can give up any time.
- Fuck you!
- Excuse me?
Mom!
I tried to reach you,
but your phone is off.
I know!
You're doing what?
- 100 days.
- 100 things.
Why?
- Isn't it obvious?
- Is it?
- It is?
- It's a political statement.
It's a statement against consumerism.
Yes, that's one way of putting it.
My word, finally he gets it!
And I thought you had no backbone.
In '89, they hosed us off the Wall
with a water cannon.
Why? So we'd buy and buy
and buy some more.
How about being human?
- Eh... Wolfgang?
- Money isn't all that matters.
How is it going with your thingy?
Your app?
You said someone was interested?
Eh... Yes, Mom, but...
What would you get
for something like that? 5000?
- Not quite.
- 4000?
Renate, stop it already. I'm proud.
The youth awakens.
Men, I'm buying you something to eat.
Give me some money.
There's a McDonald's on the corner.
You hell raisers!
In '89 he fought for free elections,
and now he'll vote AfD or not at all.
He just can't handle it that Marx
turned out to be right in the end.
Speaking of Marx...
How is your mother?
She's flying around the world,
giving lectures on the end of the West.
Some people always land on their feet.
Usually on those of others, yes.
You look tired.
Are you eating enough?
Your father and I
are going to the Baltic Sea.
I cut out some coupons.
I need a little romance and stuff.
Or else I'll forget
why we're married. Paul?
Paul, you'll look after Grandma,
or she'll climb the chairs
and clean the windows.
Oh, no. Mom!
Anton, stop grinning.
You're going too.
And put something on.
DAY 3
- NANA!
- Paul!
- I missed you.
- I missed you too!
Stop joking and show me.
How can I when you keep joking?
NANA?
DAY 7
Uh... isn't that cheating?
I slept 0.02 hours.
My back and neck hurt.
I haven't crapped in three days, because
you feed us cereal bars and bananas.
One word to Toni
and I shove R2D2 up your ass.
- I see.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Paul?
Coming!
Betty?
I want to change my bet.
500 on Toni.
Then no one is betting on Paul.
Then who are we betting against?
David Zuckerman asked me to say
he looks forward to meeting you.
And we took the liberty
of sending you a little security guide.
The man is worth more
than the GDP of Austria.
So there are some things to consider.
That was a joke, about Austria.
He's worth three times that.
The security regulations.
Half of them.
Then I ran out of paper.
- Oh, Paul, you're mother called.
- Fuck!
Grandma?
Grandma, look who I brought!
Grandma?
Grandma!
Out of protest?
- Yes, Grandma. We got rid of our things.
- But Paul's losing.
Who is that?
- It's me, Toni.
- Anton Katz, Grandma.
- He used to live with us.
- I know that.
- Who?
- Toni!
Toni.
Handsome Toni?
That's right.
You dropped my incense smoker once.
It came from the Erzgebirge.
It's missing an arm now.
- No, that was Paul.
- Excuse me? Listen.
I got to light it
and you pulled it away from me.
It was the only thing you couldn't have.
My grandma, my incense smoker.
See? You're so petty.
Mom bought half the toy store for you.
I had those shitty jeans, you got Lego.
Don't you have wives?
No Grandma, we don't have time.
He hasn't been in love
since Anna Kloske.
What happened to her?
She left me for someone else, Grandma.
For whom?
- Hey, please.
- Really?
My God, Paul, it was
in 12th grade. Get over it!
- I had some nice, long...
- Yes, long.
- ...relationships.
- "Nice" is debatable.
Better than sleeping with someone else
every night to feed your ego.
- They were all so bitchy.
- Bitchy?
Better than your fuckdoll
with fake tits.
You can't get a woman with character.
They can smell
something's wrong from miles away.
I'll go find the incense smoker.
Time to smoke a peace pipe.
Look, NANA.
- This one or...
- Yes, I like that one.
- Or this one?
- With those sneakers?
Obviously Oscar de la Renta.
Hello.
Having some trouble smoking?
It's from the security guard.
Part of the outfit.
Can you take a picture?
Sure.
- Okay.
- Okay, wait.
NANA, can you hear me?
Sorry Paul, but this month's
data limit has been reached.
What? That's impossible.
What are you two doing here anyway?
Is it an art project?
It's a bet.
- A bet?
- 100 days consumption-free.
- Are you guys tree-huggers?
- Not really.
- What for then?
- Just like that.
That's stupid.
You wear a bra over your dress
and live in a garage.
- It's fashion and I don't live here.
- Do you want a date?
I think you just lost me.
- What?
- What?
Yes, a... date?
A date?
Fuck! I have nothing to wear!
Don't cook some vegetarian shit, okay?
What do you say now, huh?
I can't get a woman with character?
If you have a problem
with your internet connection...
- ...please say "four".
- Four.
Due to the high number of callers,
this call may be subject to delays.
The remaining waiting time
is 27 minutes...
31 minutes.
45 minutes.
Did you already
consult the internet for help?
Meike Schmidt,
what can I do for you?
Hello?
- Hello?
- Please! No, no, no...
No, no, no!
Your current waiting time
is 1300 minutes.
The next available representative
has been reserved for you.
Save me.
- What's wrong with you?
- I got stuck in the Twilight Zone.
Oh, no...
I can't go online because I can't pay
and I can't pay without going online.
- Oh God.
- I've seen hell.
This is how the world will end,
in a hotline.
Come in, I'll make you some tap water.
Tell me something terrible
from your life to lift my spirits.
How's it going?
- With what?
- With the date.
What about it?
Is it going terribly?
No. Why?
Well, because you have
nothing to entertain her with,
you turned skinny
and unattractive without your protein,
your hair
is falling out without your pills.
What?
- Where?
- In the back. It's barely noticeable.
Shit! Take a picture.
Come on.
- Are your eyes dry?
- What do you want from me?
I spent four hours on the phone. Four
hours of my life I'll never get back.
- My phone is supposed to save me time.
- Then put it away.
- What?
- Just put it away.
- Are you crazy?
- You see?
You just can't be alone.
You always need something.
Your possessions possess you.
Nonsense.
Ever wondered why you bought
all the things we offered you?
- Nonsense!
- Yeah!
Shit, shit, shit!
HAIR PILLS!!!
NANA, how many things
have I bought since we met?
151.
- How many did I already have?
- 24.
Hey, the Americans want
the test version of our program.
Send it to them.
- But...
- Pardon me?
This is a private conversation.
But, NANA...
why do I order things I don't need?
Because buying makes you happy, Paul.
What is happiness, NANA?
- NANA?
- I can Google "happiness" for you, Paul.
Betty!
Listen. What I'm about to say
will be our little secret.
Nobody can find out about it.
Oh God!
What does God have to do with it?
I knew this day would come.
You're Christian Grey,
I'm Anastasia Steele.
What?
You're the handsome, screwed-up boss
and I'm the shy intern
who steals your heart after
going through your torture chamber.
What are you talking about?
Fifty Shades of Grey.
Never read it.
Never mind.
I need your help.
I have a date
and I need to cook something.
A date?
I just don't know what.
And I need someone
to get the stuff from the supermarket.
Wouldn't that be cheating?
Well, I wouldn't buy anything.
The ingredients would just happen
to be in the refrigerator.
- Of course you would...
- 2.5K net.
14-month salary,
12 weeks holiday, paid.
- Oh, these ungrateful...
- Toni! Paul and I sent the Ame...
Isn't it time
to change your contact lenses?
They're weekly lenses,
you can keep them in a little longer.
Okay.
It's none of my business,
but I think it's time for new ones.
- I can't buy any.
- What about glasses?
Glasses!
I smell like a cow's ass,
my hair looks like shit
and your butter is giving me pimples.
- Maybe check a mirror.
- And now glasses too? Sure!
I'll look 15 again.
I have a date!
You just want me to look like...
Oh God!
Hello.
I haven't had many dates lately,
and I'm not an expert,
but I'd rather not skip the stage
where you still wear trousers.
I had to swap it for the glasses.
It's better this way, believe me.
Come on in.
Okay.
Do you like it?
I don't have any pepper.
Or salt either.
I just can't cook.
But I have wine.
Yes, please.
May I?
Oh, right.
There.
Cheers.
Okay, Lucy...
Tell me, what do you do
when you're not hanging out in garages?
Please, let's skip
the "what do you do" nonsense.
I...
I have no idea who you are.
You have no idea who I am.
We can be who we want to be.
So, just make something up.
- Anything?
- Yes, be spontaneous.
Spontaneous, don't think about it.
Three, two, one.
I'm a millionaire.
A millionaire?
From what?
I sold an app.
An app...
A millionaire?
In an empty apartment?
I can't trust anyone, they all want
my money, so I'm playing poor.
You're playing poor
because you're looking for true love.
- Like everyone.
- Someone who loves me for myself.
Or someone
who loves you for your secrets.
But who might that woman be?
Good question.
On the street, the millionaire
wouldn't even notice her.
She is moderately attractive,
but she has an excellent taste
in fashion.
"Moderately attractive".
The millionaire is testing her.
He did everything to scare her off.
He's not wearing pants.
- He cooked terribly.
- Without salt.
- He makes it hard for her.
- But...
The woman won't be fooled.
Well, I think you look great tonight.
Far above average.
Something's running out of your eye.
Something yellow. Don't rub it.
Oh God!
I know they're a bit red,
but it's just the lenses, I...
Oh God!
- Oh God, oh God...
- Hold this, please.
What are you doing?
Chamomile tea.
- Do you think it's a good idea?
- It's all I found at the gas station.
- It's boiling hot.
- Not at all.
That's not chamomile, it's peppermint.
- What?
- Smell it.
Sorry.
Oops.
I couldn't resist. Nurses are sexy.
Really?
May I open my eyes now?
Definitely not.
Stay still.
I'm a little hot.
I'm taking something off
if you don't mind.
I know this is a bit unprofessional,
but...
there's a reason
I got kicked out of nurses' school.
Careful. Hold still.
Hello! I thought you might need dese...
Hello.
- Hello.
- Where's Toni?
- In the bathroom.
- You're disturbing us!
Why? What are you doing?
Hold still or the teabags
will slide down!
- Teabags?
- Come in.
- I bought 151 things. 151! Why?
- Because it's nice!
- More, I think.
- Because it makes you happy.
Because it makes me happy.
- Great dress, by the way.
- Thank you.
But when I buy things to make me happy,
what does that say about me?
That you're not happy.
Exactly.
Or else you'd just stop.
Why else would I keep wanting more?
That's not your decision to make.
Your brain is from the Stone Age.
It's always afraid to starve.
That's how it's wired. Hoard and eat.
I'm not a Neanderthal,
I have a free will.
Bullshit! There is no free will.
- No?
- Consider your phone.
It is designed
to appeal to your Stone Age brain.
You have to become dependent.
You can't fight back.
So it's not about happiness at all?
It's about the promise of happiness.
People have to move.
Always chasing that carrot.
So that means nobody can be happy,
or the business goes south.
Exactly.
What is... What are you doing?
- What is she doing?
- I don't...
I'm just going to the toilet.
- Shit! You see?
- I'm over here.
Thank you for putting her off!
I was so close to the finish line.
And that wasn't easy.
I mean, just look at me!
Then you walk in
with your Ecumenical Church Day.
- You were talking the whole time.
- This is about Anna Kloske.
- What?
- You are so vindictive.
"Alright, let's talk about happiness".
I know what you're up to.
I'm getting that chick tonight,
you can bet your life on it!
- I thought you might care about what...
- Walk me to the door.
Go.
- Why?
- Go to the door.
Yeah, uh...
Sorry, uh...
Paul had to go to bed.
He's gone.
I heard.
You want to get the chick.
Excuse me?
You were so close to the finish line.
I think that was a misunderstanding.
Yes, I think so too.
Stop, stop, stop...
Stop, stop, stop...
Fuck. Sorry.
Grandma?
I'll make you some food.
- Grandma!
- Whoa, that's heavy.
Grandma!
Grandma, you can't do things like that.
- Who else will do it?
- What do you want with that?
There were two boys here the other day.
- Yes, that was us.
- I know that.
Me and Toni.
Handsome Toni?
That's right.
What does that
have to do with the suitcase?
I don't remember.
I saved it when we fled.
We weren't allowed to take more.
- May I?
- Go ahead.
Wait, so...
All your possessions fit in there?
There were six of us in one room.
At the refugee camp.
Nobody wanted us.
Kind of like today.
Yes.
People forget.
Is that Grandpa?
Show me.
Does he look like Grandpa?
Then who is he?
I made the dress
out of our nice tablecloths.
We didn't need them anymore.
- Look at you smiling.
- That's impossible.
You are. Look.
You look super happy.
Well...
We were young. We survived.
That was already a lot.
What is it, Paul?
Nothing, Grandma.
It's just the smoke.
Come here.
Hey, come here.
Like in the old days.
Grandma, I'm almost 37.
Everything was easy for you, Grandma.
You had nothing.
But you were still happy.
We have everything.
We can eat when we want to,
what we want to...
Nobody shoots at us,
nobody locks us up.
We have no reason to be unhappy.
You had the war.
Poor boy.
Why aren't we ever happy for long?
Happiness is like water, Paul.
If you try to hold on to it, you'll
go through life with clenched fists.
Nurse!
I need your help.
I can't get these stupid drops in.
Hey, don't look.
Hold still, or the drops won't stay in.
Yes, it's okay...
What are you doing here anyway?
It's long before midnight.
I wanted to see you arrive.
I'm not dressed yet.
I'll help you.
Wow.
Why do you have all this?
This isn't all of it.
Yes...
Wait...
I'd like to see you more often.
Yes.
On one condition.
What?
What's in here, stays in here.
Okay.
You won't come after me.
Okay.
- Nervous?
- Nah.
- In ten minutes?
- Yo!
But you're not wearing that?
Did you pick up your suit?
Suit or tea.
Oh God, they're coming!
What are they doing?
- Isn't it time you got glasses?
- You'd like that.
Stop staring out the window
and go do something cool.
Like what, drink coffee?
Go!
- What are they doing?
- Nothing, what...
Of course he drives electric.
You read the protocol?
- I gave up at page 200.
- His eyes were sore.
Hilarious.
Mr. Drger, please write that down.
If you misbehave, I will lose my job.
And then I can't pay my nanny,
and my nanny
can't pay her nanny either,
triggering
a devastating economic chain reaction
leading to the election
of a right-wing chancellor.
Did you hear me?
Please, Mr. Becht,
the executive summary.
Only speak when you are addressed.
You will show friendly,
un-German behavior.
When a joke is made,
you will laugh appropriately,
but refrain from making jokes yourself.
Should someone tell him
it's speaking Finnish?
Now... May I?
Yes, of course.
- Are you mad?
- Just wait.
What?
What?
What? Sorry.
- Are you out of your mind?
- 14 million!
Did someone open your skull
and take a dump in it?
- 14 million!
- Can you even hear me?
Can you hear what I'm saying?
14 million euros, Paul.
Your turn.
You just do what you want, huh?
Making big deals behind my back.
Why didn't you tell me?
- Because there is no deal.
- What?
I was just bluffing.
What?
Come on, he knows. He's not stupid.
But he still can't say no.
- Why?
- Because he wants the data.
He doesn't care that our app is cute
and makes people laugh.
His currency is data.
It's my app! I invented it!
And thanks to me
it's now worth 14 million euros!
But it wasn't about the money. We wanted
to do something good for people.
Paul, please stop whining.
People don't even know
what's good for them.
They want one thing and do another.
Happiness doesn't exist. All we need
to win are instincts and discipline.
To hell with a system
that's all about winning.
- That's why you always lose.
- I don't lose.
You do. Wait, who bet on Paul?
Nobody?
Why would that be?
Okay guys, isn't it time to celebrate?
Finally! You should really thank me.
Come on, let's drink the champagne now.
I just made this dump a fortune.
I don't want to waste my time
measuring dicks.
Yeah,
because we all know who'd lose then.
Pardon?
But maybe that's why
you have to inflate your ego like that.
- I'm not sinking to that level.
- Better not to.
- It's not a matter of size.
- It's relative. In Asia you'd be king.
- Yours is half foreskin.
- At least I have one.
- That's anti-Semitic.
- Now you're Jewish again?
My cock is fine!
Says who?
Several sources
independently confirmed it.
- Oh really? Who?
- Anna Kloske, for example.
- I'm betting everything.
- What?
We have 20 days left.
I'm betting all my shares on you losing.
What?
Come on, you player,
winner takes all,
and the staff gets half.
But without cheating.
Can you manage?
No more orders with Betty.
- I don't know what you mean.
- Come on! I'm not stupid.
Scampi and white wine in the fridge.
Eye drops?
- That's cheating.
- Cheating?
- Who keeps trading?
- Who keeps counting things as one?
- Like what?
- Your hair pills.
- Should I count every pill?
- Yes.
I'd like to see what you choose,
your hair or 14 million euros.
Your phone counts as 40 things in one!
Okay. Fine.
From midnight:
No cell phone, no trading, everything
counts, nothing from the office.
If you get caught, you lose immediately.
Deal.
- Hey!
- You said after midnight.
Sorry.
- Have you completely lost it?
- Why?
Did he put you on my case?
No.
Why are you spying on me, not him?
Greater likelihood of meltdown.
Shame on you.
- Shame on all of you!
- 14 million?
Friendship has its limits.
Want a bite?
- Eh... Paul?
- Yes, what is it?
Your mother.
- Yesterday? Why didn't you tell me?
- Your phone was off.
- Oh, shit. That's right.
- It all went well.
She has a cast now,
and she's still a little out of it,
but you can go visit her.
She'd like that.
She's not used to hospitals.
Dad is there right now.
This is awful.
Why does she do this?
It was to be expected
that she'd fall down sooner or later.
She won't listen to anyone.
What are you doing with her things?
I'm seeing
what she can take to the home.
- A home?
- Pauli...
She can't live alone anymore.
We can't be there for her all the time.
It's nice there.
She'll have things to do.
So you're sorting out
half her life, or what?
I wanted to ask you
if you want anything.
- Me?
- Yes, as a souvenir.
Look.
Do you know who that is?
No idea.
I think that was her true love.
A Russian soldier?
You see?
We don't know anything, Mom.
If even we don't know what
all this means, then who will care?
Without Grandma here,
it's all just stuff.
It's not about her memories,
but about yours.
So, do you want to keep something,
or not?
No.
What's wrong, Paul?
Nothing, I have no space this week.
We need you to help
with the move on Saturday.
- Tell Toni.
- Yes, I will.
- And visit her in the hospital.
- I will.
- Bring her cigarettes, or she'll go mad.
- I don't have money, Mom.
- Wait, I...
- No, Mom.
That's against the rules.
Take care, Mom.
Well, thanks for your help.
PSYCHOSOMATIC MEDICINE
What's this?
Bye. See you next week.
Bye.
And a good day to you.
There are one or two things
I'd like to know.
Not here, okay?
What are we doing here?
Hold this.
Give me your hand.
Here, 2500 euros.
Gucci, 4000 euros.
Prada, almost 6000.
How much in total?
68,743 euros.
How did you pay for all that?
First with my salary, then credit cards.
Then money I stole
from friends' wallets.
And they just went along with it?
Let's put it this way:
I don't have many friends left.
Show me.
Christ!
Stupid exercise.
- Why do you have to do that?
- So we realize we're not cured yet.
As if I need a reminder.
And now?
I have to give up everything
I have for seven years.
I have to move into a self-help flat,
go to therapy.
I have to face reality.
I'd say it's going quite well.
You hide all your stuff
and play princess at night.
You don't understand.
Trust me,
if anyone understands, it's me.
If all my things are gone...
what is left of me?
Before the bet...
I had 10,000 things.
10,000.
Last week, I had 77.
- Do you feel better now?
- I don't know.
You get a sense...
of how free you could really be.
Free and starving, in your case.
Sorry, I only ate half a banana today.
Please don't tell him.
I can be who I want to be
for two hours a day.
Don't take that from me.
Okay.
Promise.
I promise. What kind of a person
do you think I am?
Well? Hungry?
I wouldn't wait too long if I were you.
- Why?
- Um...
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
What would I have said?
I have nothing to say.
Good night.
Why shouldn't I wait?
Nothing, it was just a...
Don't give me that look. I hate that.
- Where's my deodorant?
- Paul, look at me.
Look at me!
With your eyes open.
There. Now what?
Until one of us blinks.
That's mean. I always lose.
Exactly.
Okay. She's not coming today.
Happy now?
- Why? How do you know?
- I just know. Now stop asking.
You better not pull any tricks.
It's not funny.
- It's really important to me.
- It?
- She.
- She?
Then what is her name?
Does she have a last name?
Where does she live?
What does she do? How old is she?
Hey, that's mean!
You know that I would like to know.
- But?
- But she won't tell me.
And why won't she tell you?
Toni, we both know how this works:
She lets you in, you lose interest.
Like always.
You let them stroke your ego
and then discard them.
Don't start with Anna Kloske again.
Toni...
you don't need anyone.
You don't even know
what it feels like to miss someone.
Because nothing's missing about you.
You're perfect.
You, all by yourself.
Leave her alone, man.
If you really like her...
then let her be.
Excuse me, I'm...
I had...
Never mind.
Here I am.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Come in.
Sorry, I...
Why can't I...
It's so stupid.
I swear I won't hurt you,
I won't throw you away.
Don't listen to him, please.
He told you.
Yes... No...
What exactly?
Take care, Toni.
You got the right idea.
Like Diogenes in the barrel.
The world is disgusting.
Being poor is a virtue!
What are you looking at?
It's still eatable.
No need to throw it away.
Consumerist pricks!
She's gone.
What?
Congratulations.
Why did you do that?
Why did I do what?
It was seized?
Did she steal it all?
She just has a ton of debt and...
A little psycho thing.
That's why you ratted on her?
I didn't rat on her.
Are you so fucking jealous
you can't let me be happy for a moment?
What?
You want me to never see her again.
I just said you're not good for her.
See her as often as you want.
How? Huh? How?
I don't know her name.
I don't know where she lives.
You said it yourself!
I can't call her!
- I don't know if she has a phone!
- Of course she does!
She called herself on that first night.
- From your phone.
- What?
Her number is on your phone.
Nons...
That's right.
Now you got me, huh?
What?
So that's why you did all this?
- What?
- So I'd get your phone and...
you win the bet?
- It's worth it for 14 million euros.
- Are you mad?
That's just like you.
You're only happy when everyone around
you is just as unhappy as you are!
Now I get it.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
I would be glad
if you'd explain it to me.
We always think we're best friends.
But we just know each other
for a long time.
There's a difference.
I give up.
You won. Have fun with the money.
She didn't know where she was.
Tried to get up
in the middle of the night.
With her broken hip.
It took a while before they noticed.
The second operation was too much.
Where were you?
What was so important?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Stupid bet.
I hate him.
He's your best friend.
No.
No, we're not friends.
- We are the hare and the hedgehog.
- What?
That was on the tape you always played
when he couldn't sleep.
- About the race?
- Yes.
He's always the better one,
the faster one, the stronger one.
- But...
- I'm done.
Oh, Pauli.
Would you rather have him
as your son?
No?
Be honest.
What kind of rubbish is that?
I don't know.
Everything he did was always good.
You were much harsher with me.
He just had a tougher life, Pauli.
Oh, Paul, you idiot.
Hello, this is Lucy Denske's mailbox.
Leave a message after the beep.
Hello?
Uh... sorry.
Lucy?
Lucy!
Lucy!
Go away!
Oh God, it's you.
- Are you still there?
- No!
Listen...
I'm sorry you got caught
in the crossfire.
Paul is a loser!
He doesn't know when to stop.
He shouldn't have done that.
What did he do?
Well...
He ratted on you.
All your stuff was seized.
I'm so sorry. I'll fix it for you.
Nobody ratted on me.
I turned myself in.
What?
You said there is no free will.
So I thought...
it's the perfect time
to prove the opposite.
Lucy!
Okay, how much debt do you have?
68,743.
- What?
- Yes.
- Is that it?
- Excuse me?
I'll pay it.
What?
You don't get it. I won!
I'm fucking loaded!
68,000 is peanuts!
I'll pay it with petty cash.
There are worlds between us, Toni.
Why? There are problems
and we'll solve them.
- You solve them.
- Okay...
I solve them.
And you think that's the end of it?
Yes! Why not?
Because I'm not cured.
I don't care.
You don't care?
This is my flat.
This is where I live.
It was assigned to me.
I have a legal guardian.
If I have more than a few euros
I spend it right away.
I lied so much in my life.
My own parents
won't talk to me anymore.
But you don't care.
I have a hole in my soul.
It can't be plugged.
Not with money, not with anything.
Look at me and tell me you don't care.
You see?
You need someone
who is just as talented as you are.
Someone who can keep up with you.
Not someone who just makes you
look a bit better by comparison.
I am not your project.
Congratulations, Toni.
DAY 99
Paul?
You can't keep ignoring me.
You have to come out some day.
I'm sorry.
- Still nothing?
- Nobody's seen him.
Should we be worried?
Did you get the contracts
from the Americans?
The lawyers said they're in the mail.
What a nice surprise!
- Hi, Wolfgang.
- Come in, Toni.
The game already started.
Is Renate in?
No, she...
She's cleaning up at Grandma's.
Some people may be interested.
What's going on with you?
Why weren't you at the funeral?
What?
We were wondering where you were.
Didn't he tell you anything?
We didn't have the chance.
What's with you two?
He'll never forgive me.
Come on. Lie down.
Like in the old days.
Renate, I'm 35 years old.
Nobody will see.
Come on.
Stupid bet.
You know, Toni...
it's about time
you stopped being children.
You need something real in your lives.
What do I know? Wives? A family?
Then you'll know what real problems are.
Probably.
Definitely.
Can you put in a good word for me?
He's so stubborn, he'll never give in.
He'd rather starve than leave his flat.
Toni, Paul left.
He's in California.
A first-class ticket.
Who'd pay for that?
No.
Paul!
Paul!
- Say "Hello, Toni".
- Hello, Toni.
Hello, Willi.
Could you please
tell Paul to fix his car?
Elke can't get the oil stains
out of Willi's trousers.
There's a trail of oil
running all down the street.
Fucking nature.
You really need to fix that oil pan.
You polluted half the city.
Greenpeace declared
a state of emergency.
Is this your version
of a bread crumbs trail?
You can't do that.
You can't just leave me alone.
Can you forgive me?
For what exactly?
For hitting you.
Okay.
- Really?
- Yes.
So...
we're fine then?
No.
Okay, what else?
You tell me.
For treating you unfairly.
Okay, forgiven.
- For gambling with our money?
- Forgiven.
- For abusing your data without asking?
- Forgiven.
For saying you were the driver
on that speed camera photo in Mallorca?
Forgiven.
For submitting your term paper
as mine? What?
What else?
You've got to be kidding.
Anna Kloske?
- What's there to forgive?
- Is that a serious question?
For the thousandth time:
It wasn't my fault.
- You still don't get it, huh?
- Paul, she chased after me!
Admit it!
Just admit it, you asshole!
What do you want?
If you'd at least liked her,
I would have forgiven you.
If she was so important to you,
why didn't you just call her?
Because it's not about Anna,
it's about you, you jerk!
I want you to admit it!
I don't know what.
You couldn't care less about her.
You wanted to hurt me.
Of course!
- What?
- I wanted to ruin it.
I wanted to take something from you.
I didn't want you to have that too,
in your perfect life.
What?
You have everything.
You have a home,
you have a family.
- They love you for who you are.
- It's your family too.
I always had to fight
for every bit of attention.
Do you remember the story
about the hare and the hedgehog?
Yes! Yes, you were always the hare.
That's how it felt.
Always running.
Always faster, straight ahead.
And no matter how fast the hare ran...
- The hedgehog...
- ...was already there.
Fuck.
The hedgehog won.
Because he wasn't alone.
But you aren't alone.
Hey, you can't just disappear.
I can't manage without you.
I hate mud.
I've got mud in my eye.
- Come on already.
- A bit higher.
Keep it in the flame or it'll go out.
To Grandma.
To Grandma.
Where did you find it?
The garbage bin?
I searched
all the junk shops in the area.
He wanted 12.50 euros.
That's too much for it.
I bought one thing on the 99th day.
I think I lost the bet.
I gave up before you.
When?
I didn't hear.
You didn't say anything.
Hello, Betty.
Where are you heading?
Not far in these Manolo Blahniks.
You look like someone
shot you with a make-up Uzi.
It's the Adele look. Okay?
The eyelashes weigh 30 grams.
I can barely open my eyes.
It took two hours to sew me
into this 4000-euro dress.
How did you pay for all that?
Credit card.
A prepayment on our victory.
- Are you that sure?
- You're not?
- Oh, I am.
- They're coming!
- Shit, they both made it.
- No way.
- I lost.
- What?
- What?
- You?
- I changed my bet.
- Nobody heard it.
- I said it loud and clear.
- When?
I lost too.
- What?
- I don't believe it.
- We didn't plan for that.
- What does that mean for us?
We're dividing everything
among everyone.
Everyone gets the same share.
You, us, everyone.
- How many are we?
- 12.
How much does that make?
- 14 divided by 12, you bum.
- That's 1,166,666 and 66 cents.
- For everyone.
- What?
No more casting couch,
no more "Mr. Director,
may I pick up your pencil?"
I'm buying the Death Star.
- I'm buying a soccer club.
- Too expensive.
- Hertha.
- Right.
- Oh God, I'm so excited!
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to puke.
- Wait, we wanted...
We wanted to make you an offer.
Anyone who wants to
can keep his share in the company.
We're doing something revolutionary.
Like what?
We'll step out of the rat race.
We'll take the money we won and...
We'll make something real.
Like what?
We could buy land.
We could create a place
where money isn't everything.
We could grow our own food.
We could trade.
We could be truly sustainable.
And we might only be a few,
but all big ideas started small.
And people know that
we can't go on like this, you see?
We are the revolutionaries!
We are the sand in the gears.
- Paul? Paul!
- We'll throw the wrench in the works!
- Paul!
- We will... What is it?
The Americans just released NANA.
- What?
- Huh?
"David Zuckerman
once again revolutionized the world.
Since last night,
700 million mobile phones
can install his revolutionary
voice recognition app NANA."
Hello, Ronnie.
Are you ready to step into the future?
14!
What?
Alright, be sure to take something home.
I'm paying off my debts with this.
Because...
I deserve it.
Hey Betty, let me buy you a drink.
No, when I'm drunk
I always want to make out.
- You are drunk.
- Really?
Yes.
It's over.
Yup.
- So we got to experience that too.
- What?
Being rich.
It just stressed me out.
Money gone, woman gone...
Everything gone.
Hello?
Sorry, but I'd rather have the woman.
Do you love her?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Come on.
Hello.
Hello.
I just wanted to tell you...
I'm not perfect.
I can't see well,
but I hate these glasses
for how they make me look.
I have bad breath in the morning.
I get grumpy when I'm hungry.
I have a reading disorder,
and I can't remember names.
I could never sleep with a closed door
because I had to know my Mom was there.
I always need to be right
and I like to lecture.
And I can't really commit,
but still I long for you.
Shall I continue?
What I want to say is that
we all have a hole in our soul.
We all hope that something
will make us whole again.
Money, attention, something.
A person.
Maybe that's bullshit.
Maybe we just have to grasp
that we'll never be finished.
Then we wouldn't destroy each other,
but we could be incomplete...
together.
Right, and...
I'm balding.
I think you need a new mattress.
- The squirrels are nesting in yours.
- Oh, shit.
I still needed it.
Just buy a new one then.
I can't.
Why not? I thought you were rich?
Well, uh...
It turns out it was a bit premature.
This is all I've got.
In order of importance.
- Orderliness is crucial.
- Yes.
And what you see here
are the five things...
I can't live without.
I only see four.
Oh God...
That's so tacky,
but it's so cute I could cry,
if it weren't so tacky.
- Paul came up with that.
- Yes, of course.
But I think it's pretty good.
Is a bankruptcy really
a good time to take a holiday?
It's the perfect time.
- We need some time to think.
- Fine. And then?
We'll see.
Bye.
Bye.
What are you going to live on?
We don't need much, Mom.
- Bye.
- Bye.
It kinda sucks though.
They stole your invention.
You can't just
let them get away with it.
They have more lawyers
than Berlin has residents.
No, that ship has sailed.
Maybe it's a tremendous opportunity.
What do you mean?
Well...
It's our program on their computers.
Our app is running
on 700 million phones.
What if there's a little loophole?
Dude, they turned it inside out.
I'm not talking about a virus.
Then what?
A little agreement.
For a last call.
And NANA would ask me
what she can do for me now.
And what would you say to her?
I don't know.
Maybe NANA
would speak directly to people.
Maybe she would show them
exactly what data is being collected.
She would ask us how we want to live.
Whether the things we buy
really bring joy into our lives,
or just clutter up our homes.
She would say: "The future is here.
We're right in the middle of it.
But we have to think for ourselves."
And do you know what the best part is?
Zuckerman would have to play along.
He couldn't go back.
He could hardly admit he stole NANA.
It would all have been his idea.
You didn't...
No, you didn't really do that.
I think that's mine.
Sorry.
Hello, NANA.
Good morning, Paul.
What a nice day today.
Yes, wonderful.
Is it time?
Yup.
Time to wake up.
Three...
Two...
One.