10/31 Part 2 (2019) Movie Script
1
Good evening, my victims.
It is I, Malvolia, the Queen of
Screams.
Remember me?
The last day of October is upon
us.
That's right, today is All
Hallow's Eve,
which can only mean one thing.
Welcome back to my
Halloween Monster Marathon,
where creatures lurk in the
shadows
awaiting trick or treaters
to leave their houses
and disappear into the night.
But what happens when
trouble does come about?
Will everyone make it out alive?
We can only hope they don't.
Bye, honey.
Have fun.
Tell Karen I said hi.
I will.
Pick me up at midnight?
Okay, just give me a
call if you need me sooner.
- Okay, love you.
- Bye.
I'd turn back if I were you.
- Hey, happy Halloween.
- Hi, Ms. Jacobs.
Happy Halloween.
Come on in.
How are you, how's college?
School's good.
My mom says hello.
Oh, I miss her at church.
And work, work's good?
You're still at the video store?
Yeah, Play It Again Video.
Be kind and rewind.
That's pretty adorable.
What is that, a birthmark?
I never noticed that before.
Uh, yeah.
Kind of like a little
triangle, I like it.
Stan!
Move your ass.
Just grabbing my coat, fuck!
Hello, Holly, blah, blah.
Hi.
Where's your makeup?
I'm not wearing it.
What?
Jesus, fuck, I am not wearing
it.
All right, so we'll be
back at 11:30 or midnight.
The McLaren's phone number
is by the phone.
Okay.
So, just call if there's an
emergency.
Tommy's in his room making a
mask,
so, he's still on that silent
kick,
just kind of be patient with
him.
Hey, sport.
High five?
Or not.
Well, I've got a surprise for
you.
Snagged this baby from work,
"Cannibalistic Humanoid From
Detroit".
80's trash cinema for a price.
Cameron gets to come over, and
you don't tell your parents?
You like Cam, right?
Deal?
Okay.
I'll go make you a sandwich.
And nothing will stand
in my way.
Trick or treat.
Not in the house, you fucking
retard.
What are you doing?
Oh, right, right.
What, this sweet shit's
expensive, okay.
Oh, okay.
It's done.
The demo?
Yup.
This one?
It's called "March of the Death
Witch".
What do you think?
- Death Wish?
- No.
Witch, like Death Witch.
Oh, so this is like death
metal?
No.
- Or thresh metal?
- No.
This is black metal.
Black metal, you know.
Black, like in evil.
They started doing it in Norway,
and then we started doing it
here, and it fucking kills.
Yeah, totally.
Um, why does it sound like
it's recorded in the bathroom?
I mean, it's supposed to,
it's raw, you know, gritty.
Yep, well.
Hold that thought, I gotta give
the little squid his dinner.
Okay.
Doesn't sound like it was
recorded in my bathroom.
She didn't get it.
Nobody gets it.
Right, Bill?
Wait.
Did you hear that?
What?
Turn off the music.
Why?
Turn off the fucking music.
Okay, sorry.
It sounds like it's
coming from the basement.
It's, I don't know, probably
Tommy playing or something.
No, he's in his room.
I don't know.
Tommy, you down there?
It's probably just a raccoon,
you know.
Really?
A raccoon did this?
Come here, little fella.
I got a sandwich for you.
Ew.
That's no raccoon.
No.
Come on, motherfucker!
No!
Don't, he's my friend.
Tommy, who is this?
He's my friend.
I found him in the woods nearby.
He was alone and needed some
help.
Do your parents know he's down
here?
No, they never come down here.
They can't know, please.
Well, we have to tell someone.
He's lost, and there might be
somebody
out there looking for him.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Did you hear the sounds that
thing makes?
There's nobody looking for that
thing.
It's probably hopped up on
something.
Well, he can't stay
down here, it's not safe.
I'm gonna have to call your mom.
Please.
Please, don't.
You're supposed to be quiet.
No, not yet.
Here, give me, give
me, give me, give me.
Hey, thanks for coming!
Thanks for having us!
Nothing.
I guess we try the cops now?
Tommy!
What the fuck, dude?
You're gonna be in big
trouble, mister.
Big trouble.
We'll just drive to the
McLaren's.
What the fuck?
Fuckin' swear to God he's
gonna be the next Dahmer.
If I were his parents, I'd beat
his ass
every fuckin' day.
- What?
- Aw, shit.
- What?
- I don't have my keys.
Well, where are they?
I don't know, I put them in my
jacket,
but they're obviously not there
anymore.
Well...
Do you have them?
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Cam, wait!
You've gotta be fucking
kidding me!
I'm gonna kick your ass, you
little shit!
Give me those keys!
Cam, let's just go,
we can walk to the McLaren's.
We're miles from anyone, okay?
Where are we gonna go?
Hey, he's coming around.
Please, can we go?
Cam!
Baby, come on, get up.
Where is that little kid?
Please, get up, get up, get
up.
Baby, come on, come on.
- Holly, watch out.
- Let's go, we gotta go.
Cam, Cam.
Tommy, we are way past telling
your mom!
Where are you?
It wasn't
supposed to be like this!
Tommy?
Tommy?
Cam?
Cam?
Oh, oh, oh baby, oh my God.
Baby, I'm gonna need
you to get up now, okay?
We're gonna have to walk,
we have to get out of here.
Okay, can you get up?
Are you...
No, you're okay, it's okay,
you're safe.
Okay.
Oh my fucking God, I don't even
know
what the fuck just happened.
Holly.
No!
No, no, no!
Please don't.
No!
Oh, God!
Oh God, oh God.
What are you doing?
You weren't supposed to be
here.
Hey!
Oh, God!
What are you doing to him?
Oh, God.
Oh, God, no.
Baby, please, no.
No, no, no!
He never eats the face.
Oh, God!
Help!
Whoa, whoa, missy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's okay, settle down.
All right?
You're safe, you're safe, all
right?
Now, what's going on?
He killed him.
He's fucking dead.
He's dead.
Now slow down, okay?
Slow down now.
Take a breath, take a breath,
all right?
Now, a kid killed who?
He killed my boyfriend.
And then he fed him to that
thing,
I don't know what...
It's okay.
Let's get you somewhere warm,
all right?
Okay?
What are you doing out here?
I'm just looking for my dog.
What?
What the fuck?
Please, please.
What are you doing?
Well, you saw it, didn't you?
Isn't it incredible?
Who are you people?
I'm sorry, missy, but fate
brought you here tonight.
What...
Wake up, little missy.
You don't want to miss your
special day.
Hi, honey.
How we doing, honey?
Why?
Don't be scared.
You should only be excited,
for you are a part of something
so big.
Your son, he had this thing,
this creature in the basement.
Creature?
Oh, he's no creature, honey,
he's family.
He's been with us the whole
time,
for hundreds of years.
And tonight is his night,
for tonight is Samhain.
You're fucking psychotic.
All you people are psychotic.
I'm truly sorry for your
boyfriend.
Cameron, was it?
I mean, he seemed like a nice
boy.
A little too old for you, but a
nice boy.
But he shouldn't have
been here tonight, though.
You know the rules.
I loved him.
I know, honey, I know.
And he served his purpose.
But you are the main treat.
You won't get away with this.
My mom knows I'm here.
Your mom's the reason why
you're here,
and we thank her for that.
I don't believe you.
Be strong, baby.
Mom?
Mom?
Mom?
Mom, please, mom, help me.
I always knew you were
special.
This is your birthright.
Where you're going is
gonna be so much better
than this shit hole of an Earth.
I promise.
Mom, please!
It's time.
Tommy?
No!
Go get your brother.
No!
He eats once every five years.
On tonight, in the last
minutes of Samhain.
And we gather to pay
witness, for it is time.
For it is time.
Wait.
Wait, no, no, he eats
once every five years,
he already ate.
He already ate!
Cameron was just a bonus.
And maybe it was fate that
brought him here tonight too,
but in the last minutes, it's
you,
the marked one that counts.
So, tonight he eats twice.
And don't worry, that pretty
face.
He never eats the face.
Why me?
Why?
Don't be scared, sweetie.
No!
No!
No, God, please!
Please, please, please!
Someone help, please don't!
No, please!
No!
No!
Please, please someone, please
help me.
Please!
No!
Mom, please!
Back off!
Fuckin' back off!
No, please!
Please, someone please!
Mom, mom!
No!
No!
You bitch!
God, dude, did you have to
swerve around
every frickin' street corner?
Look, not to be an asshole,
but I'm gonna have to
leave you four stars.
You still here?
All right.
One star it is then.
Awesome.
Happy Halloween.
Yeah, Happy Halloween to you
too,
you fuckin' asshole.
Well, it's
that ghastly night once again,
boils and ghouls.
Geez, again with the puns?
Not even original ones either?
And here at 104.4
KRAS,
your host, Chad the Krasshole
himself,
along with his trusty
sidekick, Chet Chunkers.
We will be trick or treating you
to some bone rattling
tunes all night long.
Krasshole and
myself are celebrating
all Hollow seasons in spooky
fashion,
spinning some truly terrifying
tunes...
Hello?
Hey!
Where are you?
I'm on the road.
Aw, no, working?
Yup.
Halloween's good money.
Halloween's not for making
money,
Halloween's for mood and
atmosphere!
Halloween is for chills, and
spooks,
and the grotesque.
Halloween's not for making
money.
Well, every day's the same
when you're broke, babe.
You know what I'm gonna say.
Broke is not a mindset.
Broke is a mindset, Jeremy.
Right, well, tomorrow's the
first,
and I can't pay bills with a
mindset,
so, it's the road for me.
All right, well.
Do you know when you will be
home?
Because I have a surprise for
you.
Okay, um, I have outfitted our
apartment
for Halloween shenanigans,
but I'm not gonna tell
you what I have planned.
Jeremy?
Please don't do this to me
again.
I'll be there, wait,
just one more, okay?
Okay.
Good evening.
You didn't see me?
I sneak up on people.
I guess you can call it a skill.
I guess you could.
Would you mind?
What?
Dinner got a little out of
hand.
13 apples.
I'm kidding.
It's stained blood.
Or is it?
It is.
I didn't have time to wash up.
I'm running late, I've already
gotten it
all over my phone.
Would you mind?
Much appreciated.
Pardon.
Aren't you curious as to why
my hands are blood soaked?
Dracula was a blood sucker,
right?
Part of the costume, I assume.
Being Dracula doesn't
necessitate bloody hands.
Why do you got blood on your
hands?
This little show that I was...
This little monster mash put on
by
some actor friends and myself.
Had all the classics.
Frankenstein, his bride, The
Mummy,
Creature from the Black Lagoon,
and of course, yours truly.
Sounds a little hokey.
It was violent, actually.
Absurdly so.
Comically, even.
You see, the monsters in our
little play
have formed a council,
and the nature of our meeting
is to elect a president.
Of course, all the creatures
throw their hats in.
The entire things descends
into this wild brawl.
All the creatures fighting with
each other
for the position.
What a riot.
Guess who won?
Hey, Howard?
Yeah?
Do you mind sitting back a
tad?
For your safety.
It was The Mummy.
You can't kill what's already
dead.
Dracula's already dead, isn't
he?
Still feasts on the living.
More alive than The Mummy.
You ever been in a wreck?
What's that?
A car wreck.
If you were to swerve
off the road right now
and hit a light pole,
I'd probably be ejected
through the front windshield.
Happened to a friend of mine in
college.
Walked away unscathed.
But the driver, on the other
hand...
I don't plan on having any
accidents.
I didn't say anything about an
accident.
Careful.
He wanted to.
What?
My friend.
He wanted to what?
Wreck.
He grabbed the car and twisted
the wheel
so it ran off the road.
What a waste.
Did you say something?
He wanted out.
Instead, he sent his friend on.
You get that, don't you?
The death drive feeling.
Sure.
Everybody does.
If I'm staying near a
ledge, or by a train.
Everybody does, why is that?
This species has a destructive
instinct
that extends to even their own
survival.
What do you make of that?
I don't.
Hm.
Of course, suicide is different.
What is that?
Pardon?
Are you eating in my car?
Do you see any food?
Why are you doing that?
Doing what?
The ventriloquism act,
speaking,
without moving your mouth.
Are you impressed?
No, it's unnerving.
I guess you
can call it another skill.
You all right?
You're leaking.
Just part of the process.
What?
I'm dying, Jeremy.
But for me, it's more like
molting.
So long as I secure a new
vessel.
Stop that.
Stop what?
Speaking with your mouth
closed.
Why?
Visiting my head.
I don't like it.
What's in your head
that you won't accept visitors?
Where are we?
Be at ease.
Let me in.
I'm so tired.
Of what?
What was that you were going
on about?
Molting?
We're not on
the road anymore, Jeremy.
Where are we?
In your mind.
Sickening.
Am I sleeping?
No.
Who are you?
What I am is
less important to you
than where I'm going.
Where I'm from is a distant
place,
far in space and time.
The bright swell of light
from my home's demise
thousands of years ago
is only now reaching Earth.
But I don't mourn.
I make new homes everywhere I
go.
I'm in very many places now.
I've come so far, yet where
I'm going next is very close.
You're gonna kill me.
We don't kill, we inhabit.
Think of a flooded river
rising towards a puddle along
its bank.
When they meet, the
puddle no longer exists,
but it's absorbed.
You're gonna make me like you.
We have to propagate.
This body has grown weak for our
means.
You don't want me.
I'm useless.
Quit thinking of yourself.
You would waste flesh, a body,
brewing with potential.
Give it to us.
We would appreciate your gift,
as we as Howards, and as
friends.
I'm using it.
You're tired.
You don't know what I am.
We're already inside you.
Among your thoughts and desires.
You can't lie.
We see everything.
What kept you from following
through?
Am I dead?
Did I fall asleep?
Crash?
Do you want to be dead?
I don't know.
Indecision plagues
you, life torments you,
cede it to us, until it stops.
You're cowardly.
Incapable of dealing with your
own issues.
We'll do all the work.
Hello?
Howard?
This isn't your dream.
It could be.
Until then, this is my space.
Same as I am in your thoughts.
I'll share mine with you.
You understand my proposal now.
I can't.
There are people...
There is one hurdle.
Do you have to see anybody?
We'll save love.
You can?
It will be her choice,
as it is yours now,
but make it fast.
We're fading.
Soon we'll leave you to yourself
again.
Once you say it.
Welcome to your Halloween
haven.
Complete with witchy company.
Jeremy?
Jesus, for a second I
thought it wasn't you.
Sorry, I'm just beat.
Look at me?
Come on.
Where we're here, it's just the
two of us.
I'd like it if you tried.
Just a really long day.
A strange ride.
Forget it.
It never happened.
Jesus, Jeremy.
Pardon.
What is that?
A bit of residue.
And what have you been eating?
It's the other way around.
Are you pulling a
Halloween prank on me, babe?
Something like that.
You're cold.
Something's not right about you.
Jeremy took an out,
decided to gift us this vessel.
It's not quite your worst fear,
sweetie,
but it's adjacent.
Jeremy left you with a pair of
words
scrawled in chicken scratch on
the page.
I'm so sorry.
What happened to you?
Visitor granted him his wish.
He wouldn't.
He wouldn't, he wouldn't...
I can already
see into your thoughts,
you know that's untrue.
Peer in the mind and find
solace.
You're an imposter.
He was an imposter.
This is far more genuine.
Where'd you go?
It's only us in here, Whitney.
You need help.
Attention, you must be...
Should I show you what
happened to me?
Your grief compels you.
Jeremy is gone.
His body won't inhabit
the same space as before,
only helmed by foreign evidence.
This beats seeing him every day.
Perhaps pretending you're
together still.
But it'll be us, until
this vessel's spent.
For us, another chapter.
For you, personal remade flesh.
No reason to like this thing.
Holding onto it like hauling
dead epoch.
Will you let me touch him?
Hold him?
Kiss him?
Sleep with him?
And know that every
time you touch this body,
you're being intimate with a
dead thing.
We're in your mind.
We see how you carried him
when he was already half dead
before,
resigned to give in.
We could've shared our death
card
if you thought of me.
Did it hurt?
Trick or treat!
Pardon.
Roses are red and violets are
blue
Sugar is sweet and you are too
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
I'll be yours if you'll
provide
Through the storms, we'll be
just fine
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
Over my heart, you took the
range
And this is the part I can't
explain
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
You're everything for which I
prayed
When you are here, I won't be
afraid
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
Oh, roses are red and violets
are blue
Sugar is sweet, and you are
too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Too
And you are too
Sugar?
All right.
Get the rest of the stuff,
I'm gonna set up so we'll
be all ready to pop!
Oh, you ain't lying, baby.
This will be the best God
damn Halloween party ever.
Ever!
Rein it in, honey!
Man, this place is creepy as
hell!
Where's all the dry ice
and the Jack-O-Lanterns and
shit?
You're two hours early, Abe.
Ah, nevermind.
I'm here to help.
Fuck, I'm excited.
I'm ready to pound some
beers, roast some mallows,
and smoke some weed.
Let's get this God damn bonfire
lit.
Rein it in, dude.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Who wants to hear a scary story?
Yeah!
All right.
So, hundreds and hundreds of
years ago
in Indian times, feather, not
red dot,
this land here, ancient burial
ground.
All right?
Scared place, and these
spirits came out of it,
and the blah, blah, blah,
these people were killed, and
murdered.
This is a horrible fucking
ghost story.
All right, all right,
so there was a burial ground,
and people were murdered.
But it didn't happen 200 years
ago.
It happened one year ago
tonight.
So there's a group of college
co-eds,
and they went camping in the
woods,
and they came upon a sacred
site.
You know, they could feel it in
the air.
And there was a totem
of the Apache revenge spirits.
Kanama, they called it.
Anyway, so they started fooling
around,
and they were looking at all
these arrowheads and everything,
and that's when they saw it.
It was a hatchet!
Tomahawk.
Yeah, tomahawk, yeah.
A hatchet!
Holy shit!
She's just freaking out out
there!
The phone, the phone!
Where's the fucking phone?
There's no fucking phone in
the cabin!
I say we just let her lie there,
and then she can sleep it off.
He'll kill us all!
Nobody's safe!
We desecrated his ancestors!
Killed them all!
Rein in it, woman!
Tell us what happened.
Calm down, what is your name?
My name is Sugar Crawford.
We were out, I was
assisting Dr. Julius Zyrk
and his research.
Nancy!
I'm all out!
You got anymore?
I still have one egg left.
So what are you waiting for,
man?
Let 'er rip.
Well, I see their TV on
inside.
There might be people in there.
So?
So, what do you mean?
What happens if they see us?
I hope they see us.
I don't want to get in anymore
trouble.
Besides, what happens if they're
just cool
and they just ran out of candy?
Look, we're not the bed
guys in this scenario.
We're the heroes.
Huh?
We're out here on Halloween
night risking our asses
to protect tradition.
These assholes know the rule.
They've been on the
other side of the door.
It's Trick or Treat.
Trick or Treat.
One simple rule.
And do you see any treats?
No.
It's our duty as the kids of
Halloween
to remind them of the rules
that they appear to have
forgotten.
So, are you ready to do your
part?
Just give me the God damn egg!
Get up there and ring the
doorbell, Jesus.
Wait, what?
Where you goin'?
Pussy!
Trick or treat.
Oh, you little shit.
You better run!
Babe, what the fuck.
Did you not hear any of that?
Hear what?
Um, the sound of a
psychotic hooligan kid
attacking me with an egg
at the front door.
Ha!
Told you when you were
making that little sign
that there are rules on
Halloween.
What?
They're probably just
enforcing the rules.
This is a 20 dollar hazy.
Are you kidding me?
I'm getting attacked
by Children of the Corn
and you're worried about your
beer?
Aren't you gonna do something
about it?
Chase them down, kick some ass
for me?
Anything?
Babe.
I got you.
I'm your ride or die.
If anything, though, I should
probably
be thanking those kids.
Asshole!
Because, if it wasn't for
them,
then I wouldn't have this hot,
naked ass
right in front of me,
begging to be worshiped.
True.
Nice recovery.
But you're still an asshole.
I have to get ready for this
party.
Come on, how about just a
quickie.
Otherwise I'm gonna have
this boner all night
just thinking about it,
and you know these shorts
aren't gonna cover it.
I'll tell you what.
You go clean the egg off the
door,
then maybe we can play one more
round of
Naughty Camper, Horny Counselor.
Maybe.
I am gonna clean the
shit out of that door,
and then I am gonna counsel
the fuck out of you.
Oh, God, thank you.
God damn, I love Halloween.
Oh, fucking shit, dude.
Bro.
Are you one of those
guys that threw the eggs
at my girl?
I mean, it's okay, I get it.
It's Halloween, whatever.
Plus, kind of a big guy.
What are you like, 250, 260?
Okay then.
Well, as you can see, we are
"Sorry kids, no candy."
That means we are closed for the
night.
All right.
Seriously, bro.
Get the fuck outta here.
I've got some pumpkins to smash,
if you know what I mean.
Seriously bro, get the fuck
outta here,
you're starting to piss me off.
Hotter than a campfire.
Babe.
We don't have time to play
games.
Seriously, we gotta go.
Can I just blow you in the car
on the way to the party?
Hey, dickhead.
My offer's about to get reduced
to hand job in a second.
What are you doing?
Bye.
Trick or treat.
Aren't you a little too old
to be trick or treating still?
Duh.
And aren't you a little too hot
to be all alone on Halloween?
As a matter of fact, I'm not
alone.
I'm babysitting an adorable
little girl
who's sleeping in her room right
now,
and in about an hour,
when her parents get home,
I'm heading straight to a
Halloween party
where I'm meeting my boyfriend.
So what you're saying is that
we have an hour to kill.
I don't think so, kid.
Look, you're pretty cute,
and you already have that
perfect mixture
of confidence and asshole that
just, ugh,
really drive the girls wild,
but you're too young for me,
and like I said, I already got a
man.
Whatever.
There's plenty of sexy nurses in
the sea.
And anyways, now that
I know where you live,
I have a feeling I'll
be seeing you very soon.
I don't live here, just
babysitting.
Remember?
Don't waste your time, she's a
prude.
Are you at the party yet?
Have you seen Brad?
What's he wearing?
Is it the doctor costume like I
said?
Jesus, chill out.
What?
You sound like a stalker!
No.
I just want to make sure he's
there,
and he's having fun.
Not too much fun.
Because then I'll have
to cut his balls off
with a pair of toenail clippers.
Gross.
I don't think that's even
possible.
It is.
Well, it would take forever.
When the hell are you
gonna get to the party?
Ugh, as soon as this little
shit's
weird ass parents get here.
They said by midnight,
but hopefully sooner.
Ugh, they're old, and boring,
and should be in bed already,
and...
Nevermind.
Maybe they aren't as boring as I
thought.
Wait, what
are you talking about?
Nothing.
I just found a drawer
full of sex toys and weed.
Uh, are you serious?
Oh, yeah.
I'm about to start my pregame,
bitch.
See you later.
Why, hello there little fella.
Let's see what you have up your
sleeve.
Oh, yeah.
You and I are gonna be great
friends.
I can tell already.
No, no, no.
No way.
She's right there with me
She is mine, mine, mine,
mine...
Oh my God.
You're a big son of a bitch,
aren't you?
I don't care.
I saw her first!
I got here first!
I am first.
And she is mine.
A beautiful school queen
I don't know what you think
you know,
but you're wrong.
She's mine.
I have been watching her for
weeks.
All right.
Maybe not weeks, but days.
Days, and days, and days and...
God damn it.
Fine!
A day, okay?
One day.
You happy now, you nosy son of a
bitch!
But it was a whole day.
An entire day, today, but all
day today.
Since it got dark out.
But that's still longer than
you.
You don't put any work into it,
man.
You just show up, like you own
the place.
But you don't, no.
You don't own the place,
and you don't own her.
You know why?
'Cause she's mine!
You're a tough guy, huh, yeah?
A tough guy.
You think you're better than me?
Oh, well you're not.
I am faster than you,
I am smarter than you,
I am a hell of a lot
better looking than you,
and I can outwit you so fast
that your gross, ugly head will
spin.
Come on, man!
I really need this.
I have had a really bad week,
and it's Halloween night,
and she fits my profile
perfectly.
That doesn't always happen.
You know how that is, right?
I mean, you must have a type.
Hockey player, or something?
You're covered in blood already,
you're like a rockstar.
You have clearly had a
successful night.
So why don't you just go back to
wherever it is you come from,
and put your big boots up,
and you know, loosen up the
straps.
Maybe sip a margarita, just
relax.
Just get your energy back,
and just take a break, okay?
You deserve that, my friend.
Beat it, freak show!
God damn it.
Do you know how long it takes me
to get ready every night?
Huh, do you?
Well, whose fault is that?
Huh?
Son of a bitch!
And besides, like I've
been saying all along,
she is mine!
Oh, shit.
All right.
Is that the best you've got?
Oh, yeah, that's tight.
Oh, yeah.
You have very strong hands.
All right, all right.
All right, all right.
You can have her, I was just
kidding,
she's all yours, you win.
Ease up, man, all right?
Come on, your hand's
gotta be cramping by now.
Hey.
Hey, look.
That guy.
He's trying to steal your girl.
God damn satanic worshipers.
They fuckin' ruin everything.
I hate them.
Well, all right.
Come on, big guy.
I heard there's a high school
party
just a couple blocks away.
We can go take out our anger on
them.
Well, I hope you're not in love,
kid.
Because she just lost her
head over somebody else.
What the hell is that supposed
to mean?
Hey, wait up!
Do you guys know where
that high school party is?
Do you think there will be beer
there?
Do you know what butt chugging
is?
Do forgive Peter's denial
and those who crucified you.
Count on my transgressions,
but rather my tears of
repentance.
Renew my iniquities, but
more especially, my sorrows.
I'm sorry, Papa.
Undo me!
Shit.
I think that would be a great
idea.
Nevermind that, Sister Mary.
Let's go.
Aw, look at him, isn't he
cute?
Aw, there you go.
Stop!
I'm sorry.
Well, my victims, that's
all we have for tonight.
Another monster marathon
has come and gone.
Sadly, we'll have to wait
another year
for another terrifying time.
Oh.
Did you not get the
deadvite to the after party?
Well, it is for deceased members
only.
Well, if you do choose to go
out,
be careful of who may be
lurking around the corner.
You never know what may steal
the life from out of you.
Happy Halloween, my victims.
Dark attractions
I can't deny them
Your scare tactics
They drive me wild
You're saying that you're
not the best for me
That you'll be the death of me
Don't need true love
I just need you right next to
me
I want you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel
You're a curse, not a blessing
babe
'Til you start undressing me
Tell me the truth
Hell yeah, are you afraid of
me
'Cause baby you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
Trick me, treat me
Long as you eat me
You're so sweet like raising
the candy
You're saying that you're
not the best for me
That you'll be the death of me
Don't need your love
I just need you right next to
me
I want you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel, you're a
curse, not a blessing babe
'Til you start undressing me
Tell me the truth, oh yeah
Are you afraid of me
'Cause baby you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
Saying that you're not the
best for me
You're the death of me
Don't need your love
Need you next to me
I want you obsessed with me
It's a personal best
when I feel what I feel
Is when you start undressing
Tell me, are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
'Cause baby, you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
'Cause you'll be the death of
me
Don't need your love
I just need you right next to
me
Need you right next to me
I need you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel, you're a
curse not a blessing, babe
When you start undressing me
Tell me the truth, oh yeah
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Good evening, my victims.
It is I, Malvolia, the Queen of
Screams.
Remember me?
The last day of October is upon
us.
That's right, today is All
Hallow's Eve,
which can only mean one thing.
Welcome back to my
Halloween Monster Marathon,
where creatures lurk in the
shadows
awaiting trick or treaters
to leave their houses
and disappear into the night.
But what happens when
trouble does come about?
Will everyone make it out alive?
We can only hope they don't.
Bye, honey.
Have fun.
Tell Karen I said hi.
I will.
Pick me up at midnight?
Okay, just give me a
call if you need me sooner.
- Okay, love you.
- Bye.
I'd turn back if I were you.
- Hey, happy Halloween.
- Hi, Ms. Jacobs.
Happy Halloween.
Come on in.
How are you, how's college?
School's good.
My mom says hello.
Oh, I miss her at church.
And work, work's good?
You're still at the video store?
Yeah, Play It Again Video.
Be kind and rewind.
That's pretty adorable.
What is that, a birthmark?
I never noticed that before.
Uh, yeah.
Kind of like a little
triangle, I like it.
Stan!
Move your ass.
Just grabbing my coat, fuck!
Hello, Holly, blah, blah.
Hi.
Where's your makeup?
I'm not wearing it.
What?
Jesus, fuck, I am not wearing
it.
All right, so we'll be
back at 11:30 or midnight.
The McLaren's phone number
is by the phone.
Okay.
So, just call if there's an
emergency.
Tommy's in his room making a
mask,
so, he's still on that silent
kick,
just kind of be patient with
him.
Hey, sport.
High five?
Or not.
Well, I've got a surprise for
you.
Snagged this baby from work,
"Cannibalistic Humanoid From
Detroit".
80's trash cinema for a price.
Cameron gets to come over, and
you don't tell your parents?
You like Cam, right?
Deal?
Okay.
I'll go make you a sandwich.
And nothing will stand
in my way.
Trick or treat.
Not in the house, you fucking
retard.
What are you doing?
Oh, right, right.
What, this sweet shit's
expensive, okay.
Oh, okay.
It's done.
The demo?
Yup.
This one?
It's called "March of the Death
Witch".
What do you think?
- Death Wish?
- No.
Witch, like Death Witch.
Oh, so this is like death
metal?
No.
- Or thresh metal?
- No.
This is black metal.
Black metal, you know.
Black, like in evil.
They started doing it in Norway,
and then we started doing it
here, and it fucking kills.
Yeah, totally.
Um, why does it sound like
it's recorded in the bathroom?
I mean, it's supposed to,
it's raw, you know, gritty.
Yep, well.
Hold that thought, I gotta give
the little squid his dinner.
Okay.
Doesn't sound like it was
recorded in my bathroom.
She didn't get it.
Nobody gets it.
Right, Bill?
Wait.
Did you hear that?
What?
Turn off the music.
Why?
Turn off the fucking music.
Okay, sorry.
It sounds like it's
coming from the basement.
It's, I don't know, probably
Tommy playing or something.
No, he's in his room.
I don't know.
Tommy, you down there?
It's probably just a raccoon,
you know.
Really?
A raccoon did this?
Come here, little fella.
I got a sandwich for you.
Ew.
That's no raccoon.
No.
Come on, motherfucker!
No!
Don't, he's my friend.
Tommy, who is this?
He's my friend.
I found him in the woods nearby.
He was alone and needed some
help.
Do your parents know he's down
here?
No, they never come down here.
They can't know, please.
Well, we have to tell someone.
He's lost, and there might be
somebody
out there looking for him.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Did you hear the sounds that
thing makes?
There's nobody looking for that
thing.
It's probably hopped up on
something.
Well, he can't stay
down here, it's not safe.
I'm gonna have to call your mom.
Please.
Please, don't.
You're supposed to be quiet.
No, not yet.
Here, give me, give
me, give me, give me.
Hey, thanks for coming!
Thanks for having us!
Nothing.
I guess we try the cops now?
Tommy!
What the fuck, dude?
You're gonna be in big
trouble, mister.
Big trouble.
We'll just drive to the
McLaren's.
What the fuck?
Fuckin' swear to God he's
gonna be the next Dahmer.
If I were his parents, I'd beat
his ass
every fuckin' day.
- What?
- Aw, shit.
- What?
- I don't have my keys.
Well, where are they?
I don't know, I put them in my
jacket,
but they're obviously not there
anymore.
Well...
Do you have them?
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Cam, wait!
You've gotta be fucking
kidding me!
I'm gonna kick your ass, you
little shit!
Give me those keys!
Cam, let's just go,
we can walk to the McLaren's.
We're miles from anyone, okay?
Where are we gonna go?
Hey, he's coming around.
Please, can we go?
Cam!
Baby, come on, get up.
Where is that little kid?
Please, get up, get up, get
up.
Baby, come on, come on.
- Holly, watch out.
- Let's go, we gotta go.
Cam, Cam.
Tommy, we are way past telling
your mom!
Where are you?
It wasn't
supposed to be like this!
Tommy?
Tommy?
Cam?
Cam?
Oh, oh, oh baby, oh my God.
Baby, I'm gonna need
you to get up now, okay?
We're gonna have to walk,
we have to get out of here.
Okay, can you get up?
Are you...
No, you're okay, it's okay,
you're safe.
Okay.
Oh my fucking God, I don't even
know
what the fuck just happened.
Holly.
No!
No, no, no!
Please don't.
No!
Oh, God!
Oh God, oh God.
What are you doing?
You weren't supposed to be
here.
Hey!
Oh, God!
What are you doing to him?
Oh, God.
Oh, God, no.
Baby, please, no.
No, no, no!
He never eats the face.
Oh, God!
Help!
Whoa, whoa, missy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's okay, settle down.
All right?
You're safe, you're safe, all
right?
Now, what's going on?
He killed him.
He's fucking dead.
He's dead.
Now slow down, okay?
Slow down now.
Take a breath, take a breath,
all right?
Now, a kid killed who?
He killed my boyfriend.
And then he fed him to that
thing,
I don't know what...
It's okay.
Let's get you somewhere warm,
all right?
Okay?
What are you doing out here?
I'm just looking for my dog.
What?
What the fuck?
Please, please.
What are you doing?
Well, you saw it, didn't you?
Isn't it incredible?
Who are you people?
I'm sorry, missy, but fate
brought you here tonight.
What...
Wake up, little missy.
You don't want to miss your
special day.
Hi, honey.
How we doing, honey?
Why?
Don't be scared.
You should only be excited,
for you are a part of something
so big.
Your son, he had this thing,
this creature in the basement.
Creature?
Oh, he's no creature, honey,
he's family.
He's been with us the whole
time,
for hundreds of years.
And tonight is his night,
for tonight is Samhain.
You're fucking psychotic.
All you people are psychotic.
I'm truly sorry for your
boyfriend.
Cameron, was it?
I mean, he seemed like a nice
boy.
A little too old for you, but a
nice boy.
But he shouldn't have
been here tonight, though.
You know the rules.
I loved him.
I know, honey, I know.
And he served his purpose.
But you are the main treat.
You won't get away with this.
My mom knows I'm here.
Your mom's the reason why
you're here,
and we thank her for that.
I don't believe you.
Be strong, baby.
Mom?
Mom?
Mom?
Mom, please, mom, help me.
I always knew you were
special.
This is your birthright.
Where you're going is
gonna be so much better
than this shit hole of an Earth.
I promise.
Mom, please!
It's time.
Tommy?
No!
Go get your brother.
No!
He eats once every five years.
On tonight, in the last
minutes of Samhain.
And we gather to pay
witness, for it is time.
For it is time.
Wait.
Wait, no, no, he eats
once every five years,
he already ate.
He already ate!
Cameron was just a bonus.
And maybe it was fate that
brought him here tonight too,
but in the last minutes, it's
you,
the marked one that counts.
So, tonight he eats twice.
And don't worry, that pretty
face.
He never eats the face.
Why me?
Why?
Don't be scared, sweetie.
No!
No!
No, God, please!
Please, please, please!
Someone help, please don't!
No, please!
No!
No!
Please, please someone, please
help me.
Please!
No!
Mom, please!
Back off!
Fuckin' back off!
No, please!
Please, someone please!
Mom, mom!
No!
No!
You bitch!
God, dude, did you have to
swerve around
every frickin' street corner?
Look, not to be an asshole,
but I'm gonna have to
leave you four stars.
You still here?
All right.
One star it is then.
Awesome.
Happy Halloween.
Yeah, Happy Halloween to you
too,
you fuckin' asshole.
Well, it's
that ghastly night once again,
boils and ghouls.
Geez, again with the puns?
Not even original ones either?
And here at 104.4
KRAS,
your host, Chad the Krasshole
himself,
along with his trusty
sidekick, Chet Chunkers.
We will be trick or treating you
to some bone rattling
tunes all night long.
Krasshole and
myself are celebrating
all Hollow seasons in spooky
fashion,
spinning some truly terrifying
tunes...
Hello?
Hey!
Where are you?
I'm on the road.
Aw, no, working?
Yup.
Halloween's good money.
Halloween's not for making
money,
Halloween's for mood and
atmosphere!
Halloween is for chills, and
spooks,
and the grotesque.
Halloween's not for making
money.
Well, every day's the same
when you're broke, babe.
You know what I'm gonna say.
Broke is not a mindset.
Broke is a mindset, Jeremy.
Right, well, tomorrow's the
first,
and I can't pay bills with a
mindset,
so, it's the road for me.
All right, well.
Do you know when you will be
home?
Because I have a surprise for
you.
Okay, um, I have outfitted our
apartment
for Halloween shenanigans,
but I'm not gonna tell
you what I have planned.
Jeremy?
Please don't do this to me
again.
I'll be there, wait,
just one more, okay?
Okay.
Good evening.
You didn't see me?
I sneak up on people.
I guess you can call it a skill.
I guess you could.
Would you mind?
What?
Dinner got a little out of
hand.
13 apples.
I'm kidding.
It's stained blood.
Or is it?
It is.
I didn't have time to wash up.
I'm running late, I've already
gotten it
all over my phone.
Would you mind?
Much appreciated.
Pardon.
Aren't you curious as to why
my hands are blood soaked?
Dracula was a blood sucker,
right?
Part of the costume, I assume.
Being Dracula doesn't
necessitate bloody hands.
Why do you got blood on your
hands?
This little show that I was...
This little monster mash put on
by
some actor friends and myself.
Had all the classics.
Frankenstein, his bride, The
Mummy,
Creature from the Black Lagoon,
and of course, yours truly.
Sounds a little hokey.
It was violent, actually.
Absurdly so.
Comically, even.
You see, the monsters in our
little play
have formed a council,
and the nature of our meeting
is to elect a president.
Of course, all the creatures
throw their hats in.
The entire things descends
into this wild brawl.
All the creatures fighting with
each other
for the position.
What a riot.
Guess who won?
Hey, Howard?
Yeah?
Do you mind sitting back a
tad?
For your safety.
It was The Mummy.
You can't kill what's already
dead.
Dracula's already dead, isn't
he?
Still feasts on the living.
More alive than The Mummy.
You ever been in a wreck?
What's that?
A car wreck.
If you were to swerve
off the road right now
and hit a light pole,
I'd probably be ejected
through the front windshield.
Happened to a friend of mine in
college.
Walked away unscathed.
But the driver, on the other
hand...
I don't plan on having any
accidents.
I didn't say anything about an
accident.
Careful.
He wanted to.
What?
My friend.
He wanted to what?
Wreck.
He grabbed the car and twisted
the wheel
so it ran off the road.
What a waste.
Did you say something?
He wanted out.
Instead, he sent his friend on.
You get that, don't you?
The death drive feeling.
Sure.
Everybody does.
If I'm staying near a
ledge, or by a train.
Everybody does, why is that?
This species has a destructive
instinct
that extends to even their own
survival.
What do you make of that?
I don't.
Hm.
Of course, suicide is different.
What is that?
Pardon?
Are you eating in my car?
Do you see any food?
Why are you doing that?
Doing what?
The ventriloquism act,
speaking,
without moving your mouth.
Are you impressed?
No, it's unnerving.
I guess you
can call it another skill.
You all right?
You're leaking.
Just part of the process.
What?
I'm dying, Jeremy.
But for me, it's more like
molting.
So long as I secure a new
vessel.
Stop that.
Stop what?
Speaking with your mouth
closed.
Why?
Visiting my head.
I don't like it.
What's in your head
that you won't accept visitors?
Where are we?
Be at ease.
Let me in.
I'm so tired.
Of what?
What was that you were going
on about?
Molting?
We're not on
the road anymore, Jeremy.
Where are we?
In your mind.
Sickening.
Am I sleeping?
No.
Who are you?
What I am is
less important to you
than where I'm going.
Where I'm from is a distant
place,
far in space and time.
The bright swell of light
from my home's demise
thousands of years ago
is only now reaching Earth.
But I don't mourn.
I make new homes everywhere I
go.
I'm in very many places now.
I've come so far, yet where
I'm going next is very close.
You're gonna kill me.
We don't kill, we inhabit.
Think of a flooded river
rising towards a puddle along
its bank.
When they meet, the
puddle no longer exists,
but it's absorbed.
You're gonna make me like you.
We have to propagate.
This body has grown weak for our
means.
You don't want me.
I'm useless.
Quit thinking of yourself.
You would waste flesh, a body,
brewing with potential.
Give it to us.
We would appreciate your gift,
as we as Howards, and as
friends.
I'm using it.
You're tired.
You don't know what I am.
We're already inside you.
Among your thoughts and desires.
You can't lie.
We see everything.
What kept you from following
through?
Am I dead?
Did I fall asleep?
Crash?
Do you want to be dead?
I don't know.
Indecision plagues
you, life torments you,
cede it to us, until it stops.
You're cowardly.
Incapable of dealing with your
own issues.
We'll do all the work.
Hello?
Howard?
This isn't your dream.
It could be.
Until then, this is my space.
Same as I am in your thoughts.
I'll share mine with you.
You understand my proposal now.
I can't.
There are people...
There is one hurdle.
Do you have to see anybody?
We'll save love.
You can?
It will be her choice,
as it is yours now,
but make it fast.
We're fading.
Soon we'll leave you to yourself
again.
Once you say it.
Welcome to your Halloween
haven.
Complete with witchy company.
Jeremy?
Jesus, for a second I
thought it wasn't you.
Sorry, I'm just beat.
Look at me?
Come on.
Where we're here, it's just the
two of us.
I'd like it if you tried.
Just a really long day.
A strange ride.
Forget it.
It never happened.
Jesus, Jeremy.
Pardon.
What is that?
A bit of residue.
And what have you been eating?
It's the other way around.
Are you pulling a
Halloween prank on me, babe?
Something like that.
You're cold.
Something's not right about you.
Jeremy took an out,
decided to gift us this vessel.
It's not quite your worst fear,
sweetie,
but it's adjacent.
Jeremy left you with a pair of
words
scrawled in chicken scratch on
the page.
I'm so sorry.
What happened to you?
Visitor granted him his wish.
He wouldn't.
He wouldn't, he wouldn't...
I can already
see into your thoughts,
you know that's untrue.
Peer in the mind and find
solace.
You're an imposter.
He was an imposter.
This is far more genuine.
Where'd you go?
It's only us in here, Whitney.
You need help.
Attention, you must be...
Should I show you what
happened to me?
Your grief compels you.
Jeremy is gone.
His body won't inhabit
the same space as before,
only helmed by foreign evidence.
This beats seeing him every day.
Perhaps pretending you're
together still.
But it'll be us, until
this vessel's spent.
For us, another chapter.
For you, personal remade flesh.
No reason to like this thing.
Holding onto it like hauling
dead epoch.
Will you let me touch him?
Hold him?
Kiss him?
Sleep with him?
And know that every
time you touch this body,
you're being intimate with a
dead thing.
We're in your mind.
We see how you carried him
when he was already half dead
before,
resigned to give in.
We could've shared our death
card
if you thought of me.
Did it hurt?
Trick or treat!
Pardon.
Roses are red and violets are
blue
Sugar is sweet and you are too
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
I'll be yours if you'll
provide
Through the storms, we'll be
just fine
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
Over my heart, you took the
range
And this is the part I can't
explain
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
You're everything for which I
prayed
When you are here, I won't be
afraid
Dancing in the sun
Dancing in the sun
Oh, roses are red and violets
are blue
Sugar is sweet, and you are
too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Dancing in the sun
And you are too
Too
And you are too
Sugar?
All right.
Get the rest of the stuff,
I'm gonna set up so we'll
be all ready to pop!
Oh, you ain't lying, baby.
This will be the best God
damn Halloween party ever.
Ever!
Rein it in, honey!
Man, this place is creepy as
hell!
Where's all the dry ice
and the Jack-O-Lanterns and
shit?
You're two hours early, Abe.
Ah, nevermind.
I'm here to help.
Fuck, I'm excited.
I'm ready to pound some
beers, roast some mallows,
and smoke some weed.
Let's get this God damn bonfire
lit.
Rein it in, dude.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Who wants to hear a scary story?
Yeah!
All right.
So, hundreds and hundreds of
years ago
in Indian times, feather, not
red dot,
this land here, ancient burial
ground.
All right?
Scared place, and these
spirits came out of it,
and the blah, blah, blah,
these people were killed, and
murdered.
This is a horrible fucking
ghost story.
All right, all right,
so there was a burial ground,
and people were murdered.
But it didn't happen 200 years
ago.
It happened one year ago
tonight.
So there's a group of college
co-eds,
and they went camping in the
woods,
and they came upon a sacred
site.
You know, they could feel it in
the air.
And there was a totem
of the Apache revenge spirits.
Kanama, they called it.
Anyway, so they started fooling
around,
and they were looking at all
these arrowheads and everything,
and that's when they saw it.
It was a hatchet!
Tomahawk.
Yeah, tomahawk, yeah.
A hatchet!
Holy shit!
She's just freaking out out
there!
The phone, the phone!
Where's the fucking phone?
There's no fucking phone in
the cabin!
I say we just let her lie there,
and then she can sleep it off.
He'll kill us all!
Nobody's safe!
We desecrated his ancestors!
Killed them all!
Rein in it, woman!
Tell us what happened.
Calm down, what is your name?
My name is Sugar Crawford.
We were out, I was
assisting Dr. Julius Zyrk
and his research.
Nancy!
I'm all out!
You got anymore?
I still have one egg left.
So what are you waiting for,
man?
Let 'er rip.
Well, I see their TV on
inside.
There might be people in there.
So?
So, what do you mean?
What happens if they see us?
I hope they see us.
I don't want to get in anymore
trouble.
Besides, what happens if they're
just cool
and they just ran out of candy?
Look, we're not the bed
guys in this scenario.
We're the heroes.
Huh?
We're out here on Halloween
night risking our asses
to protect tradition.
These assholes know the rule.
They've been on the
other side of the door.
It's Trick or Treat.
Trick or Treat.
One simple rule.
And do you see any treats?
No.
It's our duty as the kids of
Halloween
to remind them of the rules
that they appear to have
forgotten.
So, are you ready to do your
part?
Just give me the God damn egg!
Get up there and ring the
doorbell, Jesus.
Wait, what?
Where you goin'?
Pussy!
Trick or treat.
Oh, you little shit.
You better run!
Babe, what the fuck.
Did you not hear any of that?
Hear what?
Um, the sound of a
psychotic hooligan kid
attacking me with an egg
at the front door.
Ha!
Told you when you were
making that little sign
that there are rules on
Halloween.
What?
They're probably just
enforcing the rules.
This is a 20 dollar hazy.
Are you kidding me?
I'm getting attacked
by Children of the Corn
and you're worried about your
beer?
Aren't you gonna do something
about it?
Chase them down, kick some ass
for me?
Anything?
Babe.
I got you.
I'm your ride or die.
If anything, though, I should
probably
be thanking those kids.
Asshole!
Because, if it wasn't for
them,
then I wouldn't have this hot,
naked ass
right in front of me,
begging to be worshiped.
True.
Nice recovery.
But you're still an asshole.
I have to get ready for this
party.
Come on, how about just a
quickie.
Otherwise I'm gonna have
this boner all night
just thinking about it,
and you know these shorts
aren't gonna cover it.
I'll tell you what.
You go clean the egg off the
door,
then maybe we can play one more
round of
Naughty Camper, Horny Counselor.
Maybe.
I am gonna clean the
shit out of that door,
and then I am gonna counsel
the fuck out of you.
Oh, God, thank you.
God damn, I love Halloween.
Oh, fucking shit, dude.
Bro.
Are you one of those
guys that threw the eggs
at my girl?
I mean, it's okay, I get it.
It's Halloween, whatever.
Plus, kind of a big guy.
What are you like, 250, 260?
Okay then.
Well, as you can see, we are
"Sorry kids, no candy."
That means we are closed for the
night.
All right.
Seriously, bro.
Get the fuck outta here.
I've got some pumpkins to smash,
if you know what I mean.
Seriously bro, get the fuck
outta here,
you're starting to piss me off.
Hotter than a campfire.
Babe.
We don't have time to play
games.
Seriously, we gotta go.
Can I just blow you in the car
on the way to the party?
Hey, dickhead.
My offer's about to get reduced
to hand job in a second.
What are you doing?
Bye.
Trick or treat.
Aren't you a little too old
to be trick or treating still?
Duh.
And aren't you a little too hot
to be all alone on Halloween?
As a matter of fact, I'm not
alone.
I'm babysitting an adorable
little girl
who's sleeping in her room right
now,
and in about an hour,
when her parents get home,
I'm heading straight to a
Halloween party
where I'm meeting my boyfriend.
So what you're saying is that
we have an hour to kill.
I don't think so, kid.
Look, you're pretty cute,
and you already have that
perfect mixture
of confidence and asshole that
just, ugh,
really drive the girls wild,
but you're too young for me,
and like I said, I already got a
man.
Whatever.
There's plenty of sexy nurses in
the sea.
And anyways, now that
I know where you live,
I have a feeling I'll
be seeing you very soon.
I don't live here, just
babysitting.
Remember?
Don't waste your time, she's a
prude.
Are you at the party yet?
Have you seen Brad?
What's he wearing?
Is it the doctor costume like I
said?
Jesus, chill out.
What?
You sound like a stalker!
No.
I just want to make sure he's
there,
and he's having fun.
Not too much fun.
Because then I'll have
to cut his balls off
with a pair of toenail clippers.
Gross.
I don't think that's even
possible.
It is.
Well, it would take forever.
When the hell are you
gonna get to the party?
Ugh, as soon as this little
shit's
weird ass parents get here.
They said by midnight,
but hopefully sooner.
Ugh, they're old, and boring,
and should be in bed already,
and...
Nevermind.
Maybe they aren't as boring as I
thought.
Wait, what
are you talking about?
Nothing.
I just found a drawer
full of sex toys and weed.
Uh, are you serious?
Oh, yeah.
I'm about to start my pregame,
bitch.
See you later.
Why, hello there little fella.
Let's see what you have up your
sleeve.
Oh, yeah.
You and I are gonna be great
friends.
I can tell already.
No, no, no.
No way.
She's right there with me
She is mine, mine, mine,
mine...
Oh my God.
You're a big son of a bitch,
aren't you?
I don't care.
I saw her first!
I got here first!
I am first.
And she is mine.
A beautiful school queen
I don't know what you think
you know,
but you're wrong.
She's mine.
I have been watching her for
weeks.
All right.
Maybe not weeks, but days.
Days, and days, and days and...
God damn it.
Fine!
A day, okay?
One day.
You happy now, you nosy son of a
bitch!
But it was a whole day.
An entire day, today, but all
day today.
Since it got dark out.
But that's still longer than
you.
You don't put any work into it,
man.
You just show up, like you own
the place.
But you don't, no.
You don't own the place,
and you don't own her.
You know why?
'Cause she's mine!
You're a tough guy, huh, yeah?
A tough guy.
You think you're better than me?
Oh, well you're not.
I am faster than you,
I am smarter than you,
I am a hell of a lot
better looking than you,
and I can outwit you so fast
that your gross, ugly head will
spin.
Come on, man!
I really need this.
I have had a really bad week,
and it's Halloween night,
and she fits my profile
perfectly.
That doesn't always happen.
You know how that is, right?
I mean, you must have a type.
Hockey player, or something?
You're covered in blood already,
you're like a rockstar.
You have clearly had a
successful night.
So why don't you just go back to
wherever it is you come from,
and put your big boots up,
and you know, loosen up the
straps.
Maybe sip a margarita, just
relax.
Just get your energy back,
and just take a break, okay?
You deserve that, my friend.
Beat it, freak show!
God damn it.
Do you know how long it takes me
to get ready every night?
Huh, do you?
Well, whose fault is that?
Huh?
Son of a bitch!
And besides, like I've
been saying all along,
she is mine!
Oh, shit.
All right.
Is that the best you've got?
Oh, yeah, that's tight.
Oh, yeah.
You have very strong hands.
All right, all right.
All right, all right.
You can have her, I was just
kidding,
she's all yours, you win.
Ease up, man, all right?
Come on, your hand's
gotta be cramping by now.
Hey.
Hey, look.
That guy.
He's trying to steal your girl.
God damn satanic worshipers.
They fuckin' ruin everything.
I hate them.
Well, all right.
Come on, big guy.
I heard there's a high school
party
just a couple blocks away.
We can go take out our anger on
them.
Well, I hope you're not in love,
kid.
Because she just lost her
head over somebody else.
What the hell is that supposed
to mean?
Hey, wait up!
Do you guys know where
that high school party is?
Do you think there will be beer
there?
Do you know what butt chugging
is?
Do forgive Peter's denial
and those who crucified you.
Count on my transgressions,
but rather my tears of
repentance.
Renew my iniquities, but
more especially, my sorrows.
I'm sorry, Papa.
Undo me!
Shit.
I think that would be a great
idea.
Nevermind that, Sister Mary.
Let's go.
Aw, look at him, isn't he
cute?
Aw, there you go.
Stop!
I'm sorry.
Well, my victims, that's
all we have for tonight.
Another monster marathon
has come and gone.
Sadly, we'll have to wait
another year
for another terrifying time.
Oh.
Did you not get the
deadvite to the after party?
Well, it is for deceased members
only.
Well, if you do choose to go
out,
be careful of who may be
lurking around the corner.
You never know what may steal
the life from out of you.
Happy Halloween, my victims.
Dark attractions
I can't deny them
Your scare tactics
They drive me wild
You're saying that you're
not the best for me
That you'll be the death of me
Don't need true love
I just need you right next to
me
I want you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel
You're a curse, not a blessing
babe
'Til you start undressing me
Tell me the truth
Hell yeah, are you afraid of
me
'Cause baby you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
Trick me, treat me
Long as you eat me
You're so sweet like raising
the candy
You're saying that you're
not the best for me
That you'll be the death of me
Don't need your love
I just need you right next to
me
I want you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel, you're a
curse, not a blessing babe
'Til you start undressing me
Tell me the truth, oh yeah
Are you afraid of me
'Cause baby you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
Saying that you're not the
best for me
You're the death of me
Don't need your love
Need you next to me
I want you obsessed with me
It's a personal best
when I feel what I feel
Is when you start undressing
Tell me, are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me
'Cause baby, you're scaring me
I feel your teeth in my neck
You ripped the clothes off my
back
You're driving me crazy, I
might die
You got me screaming for my
life
Tell me in pleasure, it's all
mine
Tell me, are you afraid
'Cause you'll be the death of
me
Don't need your love
I just need you right next to
me
Need you right next to me
I need you obsessed with me
Feel what I feel, you're a
curse not a blessing, babe
When you start undressing me
Tell me the truth, oh yeah
Are you afraid of me
Are you afraid of me