13: The Musical (2022) Movie Script
"Koh amair..."
"Koh amar," Evan.
Sorry. One second, sorry.
Hello. Yeah.
Yeah, hold on.
It's God. He wants his language back.
I'm sorry, Rabbi. I can't focus.
I feel like my whole life
is a dumpster fire, and I'm only 12.
I don't even have a whole life yet.
I get it. No, it's rough.
It's rough when your folks get divorced.
My mom went around the apartment cutting
my dad's head out of all the photos.
- No!
- With her teeth.
Hey, we'll get through it all.
We'll study remotely. Bring your books
to Indiana. It'll be fine.
A Bar Mitzvah
is the event that defines you.
The Jewish Super Bowl.
What kind of killer party
can I have in Indiana?
I don't even know anyone there.
Hi, Rabbi Shapiro.
Jessica.
- Evan tells me you're doing well.
- Oh yeah.
The weather's great at rock bottom.
- Kidding.
- She's not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
- Hey. We'll chat when you get there, okay?
- Mm-hm.
High five.
It's gonna be a long drive,
but Grandma is so excited
that we're coming.
She's FaceTiming every five minutes.
At least I think it's her.
All I see is neck.
That's me, Evan Goldman.
And I live at 224 West 92nd Street
in the heart of New York City.
I'm about to turn 13
and have my Bar Mitzvah.
It was gonna be the biggest party.
My whole class was coming.
Everything was going so well.
We had a happy family.
Until my dad met someone else,
and my parents broke up.
Picture me
Just another cool kid
In NYC
Near the park and the Met
Got my crew
Everything was great
And I never knew
Just how bad it would get
Who'd have guessed
Dad would ruin everything?
Mom's depressed
And her lawyers are mean
Now I'm stressed
Life is a disaster
And I'm cracking from the strain
Going totally insane
And I'm just about to turn
Just about to turn, just about to turn
Thirteen!
Everything switches
- Thirteen!
- Everything turns around
- Thirteen!
- End up in stitches
- Thirteen!
- Hide away underground
Thirteen!
Can I get through it?
- Thirteen!
- Life'll change overnight
- Thirteen!
- How do I do it?
- Thirteen!
- Nothing is going right
The best and the worst
And the most and the least
And the crazy and the scary
And I'm standing on the edge!
Hey, Evan.
Here's your stuff from the house.
You okay, kiddo?
I want to stay here.
In my school. With my friends.
Like, are we even still a family?
Of course we are.
And we are working it all out.
It is going to be great.
Great.
Know what would've been great?
If you didn't
blow everything up and ruin my life!
Evan!
Twelve years old
Everything that used to be
Good as gold
Starts to crumble and crack
Pressure mounts
Once it was a joke
Now it really counts
And there's no turning back
- Life goes wrong
- Suddenly they're yelling
That your hair's too long
Or your room isn't clean
- Roll along
- Every conversation
Is another lost cause
Or a list of my flaws
And I'm just about to turn
Just about to turn
God, I'm gonna turn 13!
- What am I doing?
- Thirteen!
- Who am I gonna be?
- Thirteen!
- Somebody listen
- Thirteen!
Somebody talk to me
Why is my life a complete disaster?
How did things get so far off track?
How can I not go to Indiana?
How do I get my family back?
I wanna fly, wanna run, wanna drive
Wanna get rich, wanna get mad
Wanna get out, wanna get my braces off
Wanna get my nose pierced
Wanna grow my hair long
But all I keep hearing is
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
Homework! Laundry! Dishes! Courses!
Just settle down and hold your horses!
What were you thinking?
You scared me. You can't just run away.
Isn't that what you're doing?
No! That's... It's different.
- Evan. Honey.
- I know, Mom.
"We'll get through it.
It'll be fine. You'll make new friends."
I just wanted to make sure
you went to the bathroom before we left.
Oh, I... I'm good.
Good, but all that other stuff too.
Mom, I hate this.
And I hate that Dad met someone else.
I know, kiddo. Me too.
We'll get through this.
Just about to turn
Just about to turn
Just about to turn
Just about to turn 13!
- Something is coming
- Thirteen!
- Something is blowing up
- Thirteen!
- Something is humming
- Thirteen!
- Somebody's growing up
- Thirteen!
Thirteen!
Thirteen!
Thirteen!
The best and the worst
And the most and the least
And the crazy and the scary
And we're just about to turn 13!
Oh! Look at that stunning sunset.
No buildings. No smog. No stress.
No people. Literally no people.
Thank God. I was so worried.
How was that drive?
Oh. You look terrible.
What? Hug your mother already.
I'm okay, Mom.
You're not. A mother knows.
Evan. Evan!
Hi, Grandma.
What?
I'm fine.
You're not. A grandma knows. Come on.
Wow, this place looks exactly the same.
I'm surprised you remember.
You haven't been here since you were five,
but if it took a divorce to get you
to come back, maybe it's a good thing.
- Mom!
- What? I look at the bright side.
- Come on, I'll show you your room.
- All righty.
- I'll take the bag.
- Okay.
Oh my God, it's heavy.
What do you have in here, rocks?
Your room.
Was this my mom's room?
Yes, it was,
but I've been using it as a yoga studio,
so that might be what you smell. Sorry.
Evan.
I know you'll miss your friends
and school and bagels.
But give it a chance.
When your grandfather brought me here,
I didn't think I'd ever get used to it.
But 50 years later, he's dead,
and I'm still here buying my bras,
eggs, and tires all in one store.
I love you.
And not just because I have to.
This entire year has been
lawyers and therapists and... carbs,
and every mom on the Upper West Side
asking, "How are you?"
I needed out.
So you're out.
Now you can start over.
Do whatever you want.
You could finally write again, huh?
Mom. Give me a little time, okay?
Take all the time you need.
Who am I to judge?
But, ticktock.
I'm just saying.
How can anyone sleep with all this quiet?
Good morning, honey.
Put away your video game.
So, Evan,
I was thinking about your Bar Mitzvah.
Okay, just curious.
How many other Jews
are there in Walkerton?
If you include us?
Us.
Is there a temple?
There is. It's called a church.
So we'll do the party in the backyard.
Oh, and I've got a boom box.
You can make me a mixtape.
What's a mixtape?
Also, I'm new here.
If my party is awful,
I'll never live it down.
I know it's important.
We will make it good, I promise.
It needs to be better than good.
Okay. Tell you what. I'll plan it.
- You'll plan it?
- Yes.
- You?
- Yes.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
So it can be everything that I want.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Good.
- Good.
See?
This is family.
Miss Ruth!
- Am I interrupting?
- No!
Uh, hi, Miss Ruth.
Patrice. Perfect.
This is my daughter, Jessica.
And I know it's been a while,
but you and Evan remember each other, yes?
- No.
- Not really.
Miss Ruth, I came by to return your book.
The Bell Jar.
Oh, this book made me wanna be a writer.
Isn't it a little sad?
What's sad is you're the only one
around here who knew it was sad.
- Patrice, maybe you can show Evan around.
- Sure.
Great.
- Wanna take some toast?
- I'm good.
Okay.
- That's a cool shirt.
- Thanks.
I try to warn people here that they're
destroying our wildlife with landfills.
- And how's that going?
- Landfills are part of the tour.
Patrice! Patrice!
- Is that Evan?
- Yeah. Evan, this is Archie.
- Hey, Archie.
- I know what you're thinking.
Yep, I'm faking it.
I'm gonna show Evan around.
This is around.
Let me know if you run into Kendra.
- Wait, who's Kendra?
- An angel walking amongst us mere mortals.
Cool. I can't wait to meet her.
I'm not planning on running into Kendra.
We'll see you later.
Fine.
I'll be here.
Alone.
The one child left behind.
- Don't fall for it.
- See you later, Archie!
Welcome to Walkerton.
If someone offers to pray for you,
let them.
- So what is there to do around here?
- Not much.
Yesterday I finished YouTube.
It's not nearly as exciting
as your life in New York.
Exciting, right.
My dad gets a midlife crisis,
and I get mid-America.
Now I have to have my Bar Mitzvah
in Walkerton, Indiana.
For us Jews, it's the one day
that's supposed to be happy and perfect.
See, Catholics don't have that day.
It would go against
everything we believe in.
Back home, your party defines you.
Hey, you help with my petition
to phase out single-use plastic,
and I'll help you plan your party.
Deal. And I'll make that
my Mitzvah project.
Your what?
When you have a Bar Mitzvah,
you get to pick a charity project
that helps others.
This is all working out.
We'll find the best DJ
at the best ballroom at the best hotel.
- Which is the Best Western.
- What?
Okay, where to start?
Down the road, there's a Dairy Queen
Up the block, there's a Walmart
There's a place
You can accessorize your pets
A school, a tree, a couple of churches
And no matter how hard anybody searches
That's about as thrilling
As this dumbass village gets
It's the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
So don't disappear
It's the lamest place in the world
But I'm pretty sure
It's not as lame as it was before
Now that you're here
Come on, I'll show you the hillside
where everyone waits for the resurrection.
And tomorrow,
I can show you the haunted barn.
Forty miles to the nearest river
Sixty miles to the airport
When we plan our escape
That's where we're gonna have to be
It's a shame, it's a sham
It's a terrible pity
You got dragged away
From New York City
It's major suck for you
But it's amazing luck for me
It's the lamest place in the world
And you're completely exotic
Intellectual, neurotic
You would never have a shot
Except you found the perfect guide
And though I don't really know you
I can hardly wait to show you
Every fake and freak
Every fool and clown
Since the Chippewas settled
This stupid town
Let 'em laugh, they won't keep me down
With you by my side!
And it just got a little bit better
Amazing but true
Yes, the lamest place in the world
Has lots of flaws
But maybe it'll be fine
Because it brought me
To you!
- Mom, Patrice is waiting for me!
- Books. Where are your books?
There are no books. It's the first day.
It's just the first day.
Okay, okay, okay.
I am so proud of you.
You're popping my lung. Okay.
Hey!
Love you, Mom.
I'm so excited
about my petition.
We can set things up at lunch,
and I'll show you where everything is.
Eddie, Malcolm, check this out.
We're in a canoe. Right?
- Come on, Ev, let's get inside.
- One second.
I said, "Yo, dude,
what happened to your toe?"
And he said, "Leeches."
- What?
- Bro, what?
- Hey, Brett got taller, huh?
- No way, man.
Lucy!
You're totally into Brett.
I did think about him all summer and...
we would look good together and
we are in eighth grade now.
Yeah, girl!
Lucy!
Bestie! Hi, Mrs. Duncan!
Hi, Lucy!
Lucy, it was the worst summer ever.
She put me in summer school.
Everyone's at camp having fun,
and I'm doing Bible study
and Latin and violin and science
while she picks out all my clothes
and watches over everything I do.
- Horrible!
- KC!
- Hey, there's Brett.
- Carlos, what's up?
I know! Listen, Kendra. I've been dying
to tell you about how Brett...
Hi, everybody!
Hey, Kendra.
Hey.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
I've really missed you, Kendra.
Aw!
This might have been
the longest summer ever.
Aw!
Nope! Same amount of months.
- But I saved every one of our texts.
- Aw!
Hold up. You two have been texting?
- Yeah, we have.
- Yeah, we have.
I thought your mom took away your phone.
You hardly texted me, like,
at all.
Well, yeah, but whenever I could sneak it,
Brett and I would text.
Kendra, yeah, can we chat a sec?
Brett, I was thinking about lots of things
when we were apart this summer.
Yeah? Things like?
This summer I was losing my mind
Trying to keep myself busy
- 'Stead of thinking 'bout you
- Thinking about you
No matter how I acted
I could never really get distracted
And the mystery in my mind
That I can't dismiss
Is when I'm ever gonna
Get my first real kiss
I spend every night and day
Just thinking about how I could get away
But I'm stuck in jail
I can't get free
'Cause there's my mother
Always watching me
I tried to do the stuff I love to do
But every song, every game
It's all the same
It just made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Same story, I was losing my mind
On the shores of Lake Wawasee
'Stead of being with you
Being with you
Sometimes when I couldn't write
I was beaming thoughts
From my brain at night
From the mess hall, the canteen
From the lake, from the lodge
The latrine that I had to clean
Thinking, "All I really wanna do
Is to have my first real kiss with you"
"Where it's dark and quiet
And romantic"
"Without your mom standing there
Getting frantic"
And now I'm here beside you
Like a dream come true
Every minute, every day
I was kept away
Only made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Who are those guys? Introduce me.
Those aren't my friends.
Let's just go, okay.
- Hi, man. Nice kicks.
- Huh. Thanks.
Oh, you're the new kid, right?
Yeah, I'm Evan Goldman. I'm from New York.
- What's up? Brett Sampson.
- Good to meet you.
I'm Kendra Duncan. Hi.
Wait, you're Kendra? The Kendra?
You know what just happened
when Evan said the name "Kendra"?
What?!
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
You!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting all summer...
Wait for me!
- ...you!
- Guys, wait up. Wait. Hi!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
Waiting all summer for you
- Where's the main office?
- Oh, come with us.
Oh. Yeah. Cool.
You're not upset, are you?
No, I just think
texting all summer with someone
you wanna have your first kiss with
is something you tell your best friend,
if, you know,
she really is your best friend.
Don't even say that, Lucy.
Of course I'm happy for you.
And it will all work out.
I mean, assuming no one else
likes him.
- Right.
- Out.
Kendra, check it out.
Evan just invited us to his big party.
- It's my Bar Mitzvah. This fall.
- What's a Bar Mitzvah, exactly?
It's this Jewish thing
where they make you talk backwards
and everyone gets circumcised.
What?
Uh!
N... No!
It's a party. With dancing. And a DJ.
It'll be awesome.
Oh.
Actually, my friend, Patrice,
helped me plan it.
Patrice? That Patrice?
Sign the petition for compostable cutlery.
Do what's right. Not easy.
That was easy.
Yeah, maybe not.
Ooh.
She's good people. She, you know,
just does her own thing. Patrice.
No, she thinks she's better than everyone.
Whatever, Lucy. Evan, can we talk?
One second, guys.
What is going on, Patrice?
- That's who you wanna hang out with?
- I dunno. They seem cool.
Is that what you want? To be "cool"?
- I want them to come to my party.
- Why?
Because it's my Bar Mitzvah.
I need a great party.
What's your problem with them?
Any group that has room for Lucy Hallman
is not a group that I need to be part of.
How about this?
They come to my Bar Mitzvah,
and you and me have our own party.
Just us.
Boom. Everyone's happy.
You did not just say that.
Whatever's going on between you all,
I can help fix it.
Whatever. I don't even care.
Patrice, I...
Archie, what just happened?
Middle school.
- Juice box?
- Thanks, Zee.
Sometimes it helps
just to puncture something.
You don't have to help me.
I wanna be useful.
Jessica!
There are seven trillion nerves
in the human body,
and you are getting on every one of mine.
Find something to do.
I know.
You could finally write your novel.
What would I write about?
That my son resents me
for blowing up his life?
Or that after putting my own life on hold
so my husband could build up his law firm,
he betrays me, so our marriage implodes?
Or the kicker, I'm sleeping in the room
where my mom keeps her orthopedic shoes
because just when I've stopped asking,
"How can things get any worse,"
I find myself starting completely over.
- That's what I should write about?
- I'll clear off your father's old desk.
Thank you.
Set!
- Okay, Kendra, spill the tea!
- Okay.
Brett wants to kiss me,
and I wanna kiss him back.
Fun, right?
Just remember, you only get one shot.
Do it wrong,
someone loses a tongue.
- Are you sure you're ready?
- Wait, Lucy, what's that scent?
Is that jealousy?
First of all, blend your contour before
you come at me like that, Charlotte.
And second, we know how it works.
Problem is, her mom
will never let her be alone with him.
We'll find a spot my mom won't know about.
I always do what she tells me.
I wanna decide something for myself.
Be my own person, for once.
- Mmm?
- And that person wants to kiss Brett!
Great. Call the motions.
Right.
Here. We. Go.
- O-P-P!
- O-P-P!
- O-R-T!
- O-R-T!
- Unity!
- Unity!
Brett wants Kendra
To be his girlfriend
But Brett is the boy
That I wanna be with
I'm tired of being
Second best to my best friend
So she's smart, and she's pretty
And she's nice, oh hey!
I'm smart, and I'm pretty
And I'm... anyway
I'm a better choice to be with Brett
And I can prove it if I get
An O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
- O-P-P
- Opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be
If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity
M-m-m, yeah
Oooh!
Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh!
Opportunity!
Picture me
Being Brett's new girlfriend
Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend!
Picture Kendra so happy for me
Oooh, sad!
Picture Brett
Hanging out in my rec room
Let's play another game of foosball
I mean, we're basically the same
Check us out, can't you tell?
So I don't get football
But I fake it really well
I could show him I'm a better girl
If someone just would get a girl
An O-P-P, opportunity
- O-P-P, opportunity
- Hey-oh!
O-P-P, opportunity
O-P-P, opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
How will he know
That he really wants me
If he never even gets
A little opportunity?
Ho-ha!
Here we go, here we go
Here we go, huh!
Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves
I've got the vision, the precision
And the nerves, and I'm merciless
I cast a curse, you can't reverse this
I'm gonna be
The first to get the first kiss
- Check that!
- Ho!
In the lunch room or the locker room
I can rock a room like a shock, boom
Your time is running out
Tick-tick-tock, boom!
Ever since we were three
It's been Kendra and me
But it's time now to break free
Hashtag never underestimate me
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- What's it gonna be?
- What?
- When am I gonna see some...
- O-P-P-O-R-T unity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
What kind of best friend would I be
If I didn't take advantage
Of an opportunity?
The guys are meeting me out front.
Evan, I thought we agreed
we'd have family breakfast?
Look, I even cooked.
- You cooked?
- Yeah!
Last time you cooked something
from scratch, you summoned a demon.
It was raw and burnt in the same bite.
Just... try it.
Sit.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
So? It's pretty good, right?
- See? It's pretty good.
- Good job, Mom.
Pretty good. It's a really decent omelet.
They're pancakes.
Okay.
What's going on with your party planning?
You haven't told me anything.
- Oh, I'm working on it.
- Is Patrice still helping you?
She didn't come around yesterday
like she usually does.
See, the thing is,
I have a lot of friends now,
and, you know, it's just fine.
- Joel?
- Hey, is Evan around?
Uh...
- Yeah, he's right here.
- My friend's here. I gotta go.
- Evan, talk to your father.
- Bye.
Sorry, Joel, he ran off.
I've been trying to reach him,
but he won't answer my calls.
Well, give him time. He's adjusting.
Has he said anything
about wanting me
to come for the Bar Mitzvah?
I will ask him again.
Is he gonna be okay?
Now?
Now you're wondering
if he's gonna be okay?
I'll keep trying him.
Come on, Eddie. Throw it to me.
Come on!
Let's go! Whoa!
Hey, Patrice!
Patrice!
What is it, Archie?
- How come you haven't answered my texts?
- Because I don't understand them.
What's "H-C-Y-H-A-M-T"?
How Come You Haven't Answered My Texts.
Duh.
What is it, Archie?
You don't have to be mad at me
'cause you're mad at Evan.
I'm not mad at him. All he cares about
is that everyone comes to his party.
Come on, he's just trying to fit in.
Why are you defending him?
Well, don't get mad at me. I'm upset too.
If Kendra and Brett kiss,
where does that leave me?
I thought he was my friend, Archie.
Oh man, Brett,
you're good at, like, everything you do.
Thanks.
You know, I also play the guitar, and...
Okay, you think I could
play something at your party?
- I also write my own songs. A little.
- For real?
Yeah, for anyone. I'm kinda good.
I wrote one song called "Kendra," right?
Oh, there's also, "Hey, Kendra."
There's "Hey, Is Kendra Home?"
I wrote that one
while walking to her front door.
Yes, you can play at my party.
Thank you.
Sorry about your parents breaking up.
Mine did too, a few years ago.
I hated it.
I guess the hardest part for me
was having to leave home.
I couldn't imagine leaving here.
It's where my stuff is.
But also, there's...
Kendra over there
Man, I wanna kiss her.
If you both wanna kiss so much, just kiss.
It has to be somewhere special.
Something she'll always remember.
You know?
Come on. We finna get some snacks.
Checkmate.
That's defense. Pay up, you fools.
Into the donation bag.
What's up, Eddie?
Yo, The Bloodmaster
is closing this weekend.
- I wish our folks would let us go.
- Never gonna happen.
We'll never see that movie.
Wait. That's it. I know the perfect place
for Brett and Kendra to kiss.
For real? Yo, listen to this.
Okay, listen up
The solution to your problem
Is The Bloodmaster
- What?
- Really?
You say, "No, a horror movie
Isn't where you have your first kiss"
The Bloodmaster?
Hear me out, there's a few
Little things I wanna mention
First, it's dark, and it's scary
So you'll wanna hug tight
There are folks all around
But they're not paying attention
'Cause some wacko with an axe
Is hacking everyone in sight
So when you're in the market
For a thing that makes your heart
Pump the blood faster
I suggest The Bloodmaster
Friday night!
Friday night? This is awesome.
What do you think, Kendra?
Um...
Hold up, hold up
Let me tell you where it's at
Kendra's mom'll never let her
See a movie like that
And if she doesn't go
Then I guess they can't do it
- I guess she's kinda right.
- I'm always right.
Nothing to it, here's the deal
Kendra never tells her mom
That she's going to The Bloodmaster
What do I say?
'Cause for real, she'll be heading
Home with Lucy after school that day
- My house?
- Sleepover! Yay!
At 6:45, Kendra Zooms with her mother
And she asks if it's okay
To hang with Lucy all night
And at 7:05, Cassie's mom picks you up
'Cause everyone says Cassie's mom's cool
That's right!
And at 7:22, like a blizzard
That's predicted by a forecaster
Shoop shoop
You drop into The Bloodmaster
Friday ni...
Hold up, hold up
I don't know what you mean
'Cause they won't let us in
Until we're 17
So hold the applause
And can the confetti
I'm on it already!
There's another movie playing
At the theater
Where we're gonna see The Bloodmaster
The Bloodmaster!
So we just buy tickets
To the little kiddie movie instead
Shoop shoop
Shoop shoop
Good luck, there's a manager
Who doesn't miss a trick
It's not a problem
If we all get the moves just right
I'll create a distraction
With the guy who's taking tickets
And we duck into the theater
While you block us from sight
Then we're in!
Kendra gets to be the queen
Brett gets to be the stud master!
We're going to The Bloodmaster!
- Friday night!
- We're going to The Bloodmaster!
We're going to The Bloodmaster!
This Friday night!
Great job. It's gonna be so much fun.
- Sweet, Evan.
- Walk with me.
So, Evan Goldman,
you figured it out! You're the hero.
Not really. I mean, a little maybe, but...
And it seems important that we all come
to this party of yours because,
well, if there's a party
and I tell people not to come...
there isn't a party.
Why do I feel there's more to this chat
than the one we're currently having?
Here's the problem.
You need people at your party.
I need to make sure Brett and Kendra
don't kiss at this movie on Friday,
which was your idea.
Why don't you want Brett and Kendra to k...
Oh.
You see my dilemma.
Of course,
Kendra's my best friend,
and I could never hurt her, so...
You help me,
I help you. It's quid pro quo!
How am I supposed to stop them from
getting together if they like each other?
You're the guy with all the answers.
You'll figure it out.
Aw, I'm so glad we're friends. Aren't you?
Bye!
Set!
Set!
All right, everyone,
let's try this again.Ready, Lucy?
Five, six, seven...
- Hey, Archie. How you doing?
- Pretty good.
I guess Patrice
is still pretty mad at me, huh?
Well, you chose those guys over her.
My guess is she hates you.
Oh, let me grab my bag.
Oh! Cute shirt, Archie.
Did you see that?
Way to play it cool, Arch.
If I could have ten minutes
sitting next to her,
I would know
that I had not lived my life in vain.
- Does she know you like her?
- Oh.
I think she misinterpreted
my flirting for food poisoning.
Of course, in her defense,
I did throw up after.
What if I told you I had a way for you
to sit next to Kendra for two hours?
Next to her in the same building?
Next to her in the next seat
at the movies on Friday.
Don't toy with me.
Here's the thing.
Lucy is holding my party hostage
unless I stop
Brett and Kendra from kissing.
Okay, I'm listening.
All right, it's pretty complicated,
but hear me out.
What if you sit
on the other side of Kendra...
- I'm in!
- There's more.
Okay, keep going.
Then, at the perfect moment,
you faint on Kendra's shoulder,
drawing her attention
and blocking Brett from kissing her.
Oh! And I get to kiss Kendra instead.
What? No. The plan is,
you make a scene and block the kiss,
and no one will get mad at you because...
Because I'm charming.
Yeah, that.
Lucy gets what she wants,
and everyone comes to my party.
And I get to kiss Kendra.
You keep saying that
as though it's part of the plan.
It's not.
You saved all my old journals?
I thought I told you
to throw out all my old stuff?
When did you say that?
When I left home and said,
"Throw out all my old stuff."
- Oh! Jess.
- Mom.
Jess.
- You know what I miss?
- Subtlety?
Teaching.
It gave me purpose.
You were really good at it.
You went to college, worked harder
than anyone, and earned your BFA.
You were a writer. That was your purpose.
And if it took a divorce
to light a fire under yourtuchus,
maybe that's a good thing.
I'm just saying, again..
I'm gonna get some stuff
then I'm gonna hang out with Archie.
No, wait... Oh no...
We're supposed to have dinner together.
And you have a Hebrew lesson.
- I'll reschedule it for tomorrow.
- No... Evan. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back.
You have blown us off every night.
You won't answer your father's calls.
You haven't talked to me
about your Bar Mitzvah.
And now, skipping lessons?
- What is going on?
- Nothing.
You wanted to move here
and for me to make new friends,
so here I am, making new friends.
- At least I'm trying.
- Look, this is about you.
You will do your lesson with the rabbi,
and then you will see your friends.
You're his mother.
He's watching what you do.
- That's all I've got to say.
- Yeah.
I doubt that.
Archie! Archie!
- I can't talk right now.
- Do you wanna come for dinner?
I've got a whole list of movies
where Americans do bad English accents.
All right, fine, you broke me.
We're all going to The Bloodmaster.
Evan made a plan
where I block Brett from kissing Kendra
so Lucy will bring everyone to his party.
Wait, Evan is using you
just to save his party?
Yeah, and I'm good with that.
- This is wrong, Archie.
- Stay out of it, Patrice.
I like what you're doing,
but think about...
And this could just be fun...
Just... not getting the beit
and the kaf confused.
Except, they're confusing.
Hmm. You find
a 6,000-year-old language confusing.
Now I see the problem.
You thought this would be easy.
That just... That's just bad intel.
I'm sorry, there's something important
I need to do.
More important than your Bar Mitzvah?
One moment.
God, you're gonna love this.
No, it's Goldman again.
Really, Rabbi, trust me. This can't wait.
You want me to go full rabbi on you?
I'm gonna go... I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go full rabbi.
Kippah coming on. Boom.
Respect. Respect the yarmulke.
Look, I'm not here to tell you
what you should or shouldn't do, okay?
You gotta find your own way. I just...
I've just walked
a few more steps than you,
and maybe I can help you
stumble a few less than I did.
Really, I'm not avoiding my lesson.
It's your choice.
But listen to this, okay?
Look, how you do one thing
is how you do everything,
and what you're not doing
is learning your haftorah.
Seriously. It's not even Hebrew.
You sound like an injured dolphin.
Really? Oh.
We'll talk soon.
Peace out, Flipper.
Only got one shot
Better get it right
I'm getting ready
Gotta look real hot
'Cause it's Friday night
I'm getting ready!
I'm getting ready today
I'm getting ready to say
"I'm not that weird geek
You think I must be"
I'm getting ready to move
I'm getting ready to prove
Kendra just needs a love god like me
Big night tonight
Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah
Gotta wear a tie
If this goes right
Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah
Gotta zip my fly
If we can get in
And Brett's ready for action
But Kendra's distracted
By Archie's distraction
So they never kiss
Lucy gets satisfaction
- And everyone comes to my party
- So I'm getting ready, it's true
I'm getting ready to do
- Something that makes them
- Something that makes her
Accept me at last
I'm getting ready, all right
Nothing can stop me tonight
I'm getting ready
Ready
Ready
Now!
- Oh my God! Can I help...
- Just watch where you're going!
- I... I...
- No need to do this.
- I always fail.
- Oh. Evan pulled this off.
I'm sorry!
I'm so afraid.
Do you like scary movies?
- Hey, Archie.
- This is so cool.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, Carlos.
Brett, you made it.
Yeah.
All right. Eddie, how's my breath?
I'm, like, getting notes
of jalapeos and bowling shoes.
That's good, right?
Yeah, yeah... That's fine.
Really?
Cassie, Molly, over here!
- This is gonna be scary.
- What's up, Cassie.
- Hi, Carlos.
- Hi, Cassie.
- Charlotte!
- Come sit with me.
- Hey, Malcolm.
- Kendra's here.
Yeah, I'm kinda nervous.
- Hey, Kendra.
- Hey.
Hi!
Mission Popcorn Pileup accomplished.
- Thank you.
- Great job, Evan.
I can't believe
you pulled this off.
This better work. Or you'll be lighting
that birthday menorah alone.
That's Hanukkah.
Heidi, so cool that your cousin,
who escaped prison,
let us use his cabin here
in the isolated mountains.
Look, there's blood everywhere.
He said he was going
to look for some tools in the toolshed.
Yo, there you are.
I was worried that you were...
- I'll never sleep again!
- This is awesome!
We have to run.
Let's split up.
Yeah.
They...
Get off!
Kurt, if we're about to be
cut into pieces,
then let's have one last kiss.
Oh! He's going in.
This is on.
Ooh!
- Kendra Duncan!
- Oh my God.
- Mom?!
- Cassie Connor!
Everyone under the age of 17, out!
- How'd you find out?
- Who did this?
Evan Goldman!
- Huh?
- Evan? Seriously?
Goldman?
- Evan?
- You did this?
Evan, you said I could kiss Kendra.
- What?
- No!
Evan, what did you do?
Dude, why would you do this?
No way we're coming to your party now.
- Come on.
- What is going on?
No, no, no! No!
Have you seen the poster for it?
It's just made of blood!
I can't believe this.
Get up.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to have some fun for once.
Do something I wanted.
I trusted you, and this is what happens.
Kendra!
Stay away from my daughter. Go.
I can't believe you all did this.
Archie, are you okay?
Okay? You messed up
my one chance to kiss Kendra.
I was just trying to help you.
Okay, why does everyone think I need help?
I have my own parking space,
my own bathroom, the best ride in town.
I'm great.
You two clearly need more help than I do.
I can't believe you told.
You were using Archie
just so people would come to your party.
Or maybe you purposely wanted tonight
to fail so no one would come to my party.
You took advantage of my friend.
It's not me that ruined everything.
Archie, wait up.
Are you okay?
No.
I was about to kiss Kendra.
Yeah, but...
Do you think she really
would have gone through with it?
Yeah, she was...
I mean, she was worried
her mom would get furious.
Maybe she wouldn't have.
Really?
I can't believe this.
I trusted you...
Maybe you've been waiting all summer
for someone who isn't ready for you,
instead of someone who is, you know,
ready for an opportunity like this.
Let's get out of here, boyfriend.
Wait, what?
- Tell me not to kill him.
- Don't kill him.
- Too late.
- Jessica!
That was your room once.
Remember what it felt like
to sit on that bed when you messed up.
Set!
Hut!
Man, what's up? Are you possessed?
- 'Cause I've seen that at church.
- You need to fix your wig.
Brett, you stood there
like you've never seen a football before.
- It's a football.
- Brett!
- Ah.
- See? I can't focus.
And every time she kisses me,
I forget why I don't want her to kiss me.
You know,
it's like my brain stops working.
Brett! I'm texting you!
Sorry, y'all. I gotta...
- This is bad.
- This is bad.
I've been texting you.
What? I'm on the field.
You should have your phone on you.
I've been texting and calling you.
What? When I'm on the field?
That doesn't make sense.
- Yeah, it does.
- Don't be angry about this.
What if I needed to talk to you?
What is a man
When he gives up his soul?
When his brains are in chains
And his heart has lost control
You're telling me.
How does a man
Who can see behind his head
Turn as blind as a bat with no eyes?
What if I needed to talk to you
or had something important to...
What is a man
When he turns on his friends?
We've been tossed, now we're lost
- Just a wig full of split ends
- Now, that's the truth.
How do we make
Our hero wide awake
So that he can realize?
That girl is bad, bad news
Bad news
Nothing but tears, nothing but trouble
Nothing but stress
Yes, she is bad, bad news
Bad news
Bad news
Our buddy, Brett, is gonna regret
That he ever said "yes"
The girl may be hot
But all that he's got
Is bad, bad news
Hey, Lucy. Hey, Brett.
- Oh. Hey, Cassie.
- Wait, were you flirting with her?
- I was just saying hi.
- Oh, so you're saying she's hot.
No, I mean, she's... nice.
Oh, so I'm not nice?
- What? I never said that.
- Oh, so now I'm a liar!
This girl.
That girl is bad, bad news
Bad news
Very bad news
It's an invasion
It's like a war
Or a zombie attack
Whack! Goes the bad, bad news
Bad news
Trs bad!
We've been abandoned, left in the sand
And we need him back
They're kissing, they're dating
It's so nauseating
It's bad, bad news
Every minute we wait
Is an hour too late
He has got to be freed from her spell
Why would our friend prefer
To be hanging with her?
- Are we mean?
- Are we rude?
Do we smell?
He's a mess on the field
So our fate has been sealed
- Now it's time for our team to rebel
- Yeah!
His hormones have made him
A fool and a clown
If we don't solve it soon
Then we're all going down
The longer it goes, the worse it'll get
So somebody's gotta tell Brett!
Yeah!
- That girl is bad, bad news, bad news
- Yahoo! She's so bad, yeah
She took our pal, she took our leader
And led him astray
Hey, hey!
She's totally bad, bad news
Bad news
Bad news
Listen up, Brett
You're not ruined yet
We'll show you the way
Get away from that noise
And come back to your boys
Even though she has excellent shoes
She's bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad, bad, bad, bad
News!
Bad news!
I just wanted to make friends.
I just wanted something to go right.
I know it hasn't been easy.
- Now everyone thinks I'm a loser.
- Nobody thinks you're a loser.
"You're a loser."
Okay!
Things are going really great for us, huh?
You and me.
Kid from the city
Steps up to the plate
He's got one at-bat
To determine his fate
And so he takes a big swing
With remarkable grace
And the ball
Hits him right in the face
It would be funny if it didn't suck
If it didn't hurt
If it wasn't the end of the world
It was over before I started
And nothing's gonna fix it now
Girl from the sticks
Had a plan of attack
"I'm gonna set New York on fire
And I'm not coming back"
Except I guess I never got around
To lighting that torch
'Cause I'm back
On my mother's front porch
It would be funny if it didn't suck
If it wasn't me
If it happened to anyone else
I avoided three high school reunions
But nothing's gonna fix it now
Nobody wants to hear
How failing's
The only way you can learn
Doesn't matter
If you don't know the rules
Or you don't like the game
'Cause you find out
What you're made of
When you face
What you're most afraid of
Like, what if you threw a party
And nobody came?
It would be funny if it didn't suck
And it's gonna suck
But here's what I'm trying to say
It's not over until it's over
And only we can fix it now
It's not over until it's over
And only you can fix it
Now
Patrice!
Hey, Dad.
Hey, kiddo.
Um,
Mom says you're having a rough time.
You wanna talk?
I think I've done some stuff
that has really hurt other people.
Ev,
sometimes we make choices that...
that inadvertently hurt
the people we love the most.
And sometimes those mistakes
aren't easy to fix,
but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
Does that ever work?
You answered the phone this time so, um,
if you're lucky, it does.
I know,
but you saw what happened.
I have to go.
Okay, kiddo.
And Ev...
I'm sorry
that I hurt you and your mother.
Thank you.
I miss you.
Me too.
Okay, I'm running to my locker.
Why?
Brett, as your best friends,
we need to tell you, keep it together.
I'm trying!
She's got some kind of,
like, hypnotic hold on you,
and we have no idea what it is.
Well, some of us know what it is,
but you gotta be strong, Brett.
For us.
I miss Kendra.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe I can help.
You? You're the reason this all happened.
Look, I know I screwed things up,
but I wanna make it right.
Hear me out.
Fine.
You have ten seconds,
starting nine seconds ago.
You have to go talk to Kendra.
You two are supposed to be together.
If what you want is to be with Kendra,
then go tell her.
I wouldn't know what to say.
Tell her
You thought about what happened
Tell her you haven't slept at night
Tell her
Although you've made a huge mistake
You want to make it right
Uh-huh. Keep going.
Tell her you know you aren't perfect
Tell her you've waited way too long
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you mean it
Tell her you just were wrong
Do you even know what you're saying?
I think what he's saying is...
Tell her
You shouldn't have ignored her
Or dissed her
In front of all the school
Tell her
The minute you got out of touch
You felt like such a fool
Tell her just hanging out together
Was so nice you prayed it wouldn't end
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you miss her
Ask if she'll be your friend
Tell her you think of her at sundown
And sunrise
And dinnertime
And noon
Tell her there's one thing
That you're sure you know
You both are so in tune
Tell her
That life feels dumb without her
Stand tall and look her in the eye
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you'll prove it
Ask her to let you try
Tell her that people get things wrong
'Cause people are afraid
They won't fit in your world
Or in your life
But things will work out fine
If she will only listen
Listen!
Kendra, I thought about what happened
Kendra, I haven't slept at night
Kendra, I know I made a huge mistake
I wanna make it right
I know there are no good excuses
I feel like I've been in a trance
Tell her you're sorry
I'm sorry.
Tell her you mean it
I mean it.
Ask for another chance
Kendra
I just want another
Chance
Go, go. Yeah.
Okay, stop, no! Brett is with me!
Brett!
Not anymore.
Twist!
Hey, Evan.
Thanks.
No problem, Brett.
See you at your party.
I wish you never came here.
You ruined my life.
I think you ruined your life.
Trust me, I know how that works.
Patrice, I know I messed up.
We both did.
I shouldn't have made you choose
between me and them.
I just want you at my party.
Let me think about it, okay?
Patrice!
Hi! Are you ever coming by
to say hello anymore?
What?
You look like all the oceans dried up.
Miss Ruth,
what if you're really mad at someone
who did something that really hurt you
and you don't know
how to not be mad anymore?
I can tell you this. If you push away
everyone who ever makes a mistake,
all you'll be left with is yourself.
And that would be an even bigger mistake.
I wish I was as smart as you.
And I wish I was as young as you.
We work with what we have, huh?
I don't understand ties.
It's like your neck is a gift.
Come here.
There you go.
There.
I am proud of you.
What... What happened?
It was all going so well.
My son is a man.
You're totally embarrassing me.
You're totally embarrassing me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise, I...
There'll be more of this today.
Come here.
- God I love you.
- I love you too.
Honey, fast.
Will do.
- Seat belt.
- All right.
Thank you.
Evan.
I have something for you.
And this was
your grandfather's first yarmulke.
He'd want you to wear it.
Just don't smell it. Take my word.
- Thank you, Grandma.
- I love you.
Love you too.
- I'll see you in there.
- Okay.
Yo, guys.
- What's up?
- What's up?
- How you feelin'?
- Really good. I'm feeling good!
- Oh man!
- You did good, Jess.
- Be proud.
- I am.
Of course, I helped.
Rabbi Shapiro, you made it!
Ah! So here we are.
You worked hard for this.
And I had to listen to all of it,
so good for us.
- How you feeling?
- Well, I'm having my Bar Mitzvah.
Just not where I thought or how I thought
or with who I thought, but, you know...
- So don't believe everything you think.
- Yeah.
Not a lot of Jews around here, huh?
Least I'm the hottest rabbi somewhere.
You know, you were right.
This is more important than a dope party.
I just said that so you'd study.
- Let's rock this suburb.
- Oh yeah!
- High five, baby!
- My man!
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
Thanks for letting me come.
That is a killer suit.
Bet the, uh, girls are all over you.
That is the most dad line in the world.
How about giving your dad a hug?
You know,
I'm looking forward to next summer.
Yeah, me too.
All right, Mr. Goldman. Showtime.
What happens if I mess up?
Then you take a big breath,
and you do it better the next time,
or at least you try.
Okay?
Okay.
- Ooh. Family selfie.
- I'll see you in there.
Come on.Look at this.
- Some of that, oh.
- All right. Right on.
Ready? Look at that.
One, two, three.
That's awesome.That's awesome.
All righty.
Hi, Joel.
It's good you came.
You look great.
I know.
I feel like I missed out
on some important stuff here.
Thanks for not giving up on him.
Hmm.
Um...
A Jewish olive branch.
Oh! Thank you.
Oh!
Thank you.
Hm.
You know,
I'm writing again.
- Really?
- Mm-hm. A novel.
- That's not gonna end well for me, is it?
- Probably not.
Yeah.
Kendra, wait.
Lucy, what are you doing here?
I came to say I'm sorry.
I was really hurt
you didn't text me all summer
but were talking to Brett.
I know.
I should have just told you.
Of course he would like you.
Everyone likes you. You're really smart.
You get all A's.
You're really lucky.
Sorry I messed everything up.
I figured if I had Brett,
I could feel important to somebody.
You've always been
important to me.
I was wrong, and
I really miss you.
I really miss my best friend.
I miss you too.
Let's never let a boy
come between us again.
Hashem, who created the heavens,
gives a soul to the people
and a spirit to all who walk upon it.
And now, Evan will finish his reading
with the haftorah.
I call back to the bimah...
Oh! You made it!
See, was that so difficult?
You are so annoying.
You love me.
Well done.
If you stand here behind me
And you call me a man
And you're counting on me
To come through
You should know
That I'll give you the best that I can
But we all have
A little more homework to do
And I've been looking
In the back of the book for the answers
Hoping the bell wouldn't chime
But I'm not ready
To put down my pencil just yet
There are too many answers
That I didn't get
I need a little less pressure
And a little more time
I am trying to follow
I am trying to lead
I am trying to find what is true
But if you're gonna stand with me
Then you have to concede
That we all have
A little more homework to do
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
You get a little bit older
A little bit taller
A little bit better, a little bit
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
And the days ahead coming on so quick
You can't get out of the way
You keep running
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
And I'm a little bit older
A little bit faster
A little bit closer, a little bit
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
And the sky goes blue
And the sky goes black
And no matter what you do
You can't go back
You go day into day into day
Day into day into day
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
And I'm a little bit braver
A little bit broader
A little bit brighter
And I've been looking
In the back of a book for the answers
Hoping the bell wouldn't chime
But I'm not ready to put down
My pencil just yet
There are too many answers
That I didn't get
I need a little less pressure
And a little more time!
I am trying to follow
I am trying to lead
I am trying to learn what is true
I am trying to be
What you want and I need
And we all have a little more homework
We all have a little more homework
We all have a little more homework
- To do
- Day turns to day turns to day
- Turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework to do
Day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework to do
- Day turns to day, day turns to
- Day turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework
Day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
A little more homework
- To do
- Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day
Turns to day turns to day!
I'm Evan Goldman.
I live at 24 Plains Drive,
Walkerton, Indiana.
I'm 13 years old,
and I'm just getting started.
One, two, three, here we go!
I saw the cover, and I judged the book
I turned away without a second look
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
Mm-mmm
I told myself I better run and hide
I never noticed what was there inside
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
Ah-ahh
And I can't stop myself from loving
Every itty-bitty thing...
You, you! I see a brand-new you!
You, you! I see a brand-new you!
I didn't know where I was meant to be
Ooh-ooh-ooh
I figured no one would be there for me
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
You, you, I see a brand-new you
I never knew that you could understand
But I looked up
And you reached out your hand
And now, now, now
I see a brand-new you!
Ooh-ooh-ooh
I opened my eyes
And there's a great big world around
I opened my eyes
And just look, just look
Look at what I found
Here we go!
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Hey!
Yeah!
I opened my eyes
And there's a great big world around
I opened my eyes
- And just look, just look
- Look at what I found!
I see a brand-new you! Ooh!
I see a brand-new you! Ooh!
I see a brand-new you!
Bravi Charlo... Bravo Charlie mark.
Bravo mark.
Chocolate mark.
Alpha Bravo Carmen. Marker.
Charlie mark. I did it.
Charlie marker.
Bravo mark.
Delta mark.
Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
Bravo mark.
Bravo mark.
Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
Marker.
Marker.
Marker.
Your mark.
Marker!
This summer, I was losing my mind
Trying to keep myself busy
- 'Stead of thinking 'bout you
- Thinking 'bout you
No matter how I acted
I could never really get distracted
And the mystery in my mind
That I can't dismiss
Is when I'm ever gonna
Get my first real kiss
I spend every night and day
Just thinking 'bout how I could get away
But I'm stuck in jail
I can't get free
'Cause there's my mother
Always watching me
I tried to do the stuff I love to do
But every song, every game
It's all the same
It just made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Same story
I was losing my mind
On the shores of Lake Wawasee
'Stead of being with you
Being with you
Sometimes when I couldn't write
I was beaming thoughts
From my brain at night
From the mess hall, the canteen
From the lake, from the lodge
The latrine that I had to clean
Thinking, "All I really wanna do
Is to have my first real kiss with you"
"Where it's dark and quiet
And romantic"
"Without your mom standing there
Getting frantic"
And now I'm here beside you
Like a dream come true
Every minute, every day
I was kept away
Only made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
Waiting all summer for you
Brett wants Kendra
To be his girlfriend
But Brett is the boy
That I wanna be with
I'm tired of being
Second best to my best friend
So she's smart, and she's pretty
And she's nice, oh hey!
I'm smart, and I'm pretty
And I'm... anyway
I'm a better choice to be with Brett
And I can prove it if I get
An O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be
If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity
M-m-m, yeah
Oooh!
Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh!
Opportunity!
Picture me
Being Brett's new girlfriend
Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend!
Picture Kendra so happy for me
Oooh, sad!
Picture Brett
Hanging out in my rec room
Let's play another game of foosball
I mean, we're basically the same
Check us out, can't you tell?
So I don't get football
But I fake it really well
I could show him I'm a better girl
If someone just would get a girl
An O-P-P, opportunity
- O-P-P
- Opportunity
Hey-oh!
O-P-P, opportunity
O-P-P, opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
How will he know
That he really wants me
If he never even gets
A little opportunity?
Ho-ha!
Here we go, here we go
Here we go, huh!
Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves
Ho!
I've got the vision, the precision
And the nerves, and I'm merciless
I cast a curse, you can't reverse this
I'm gonna be
The first to get the first kiss
- Check that!
- Ho!
In the lunch room or the locker room
I can rock a room like a shock, boom
Your time is running out
Tick-tick-tock, boom!
Ever since we were three
It's been Kendra and me
But it's time now to break free
Hashtag never underestimate me
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- What's it gonna be?
- What?
- When am I gonna see some...
- O-P-P-O-R-T unity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
What kind of best friend would I be
If I didn't take advantage
Of an opportunity?
"Koh amar," Evan.
Sorry. One second, sorry.
Hello. Yeah.
Yeah, hold on.
It's God. He wants his language back.
I'm sorry, Rabbi. I can't focus.
I feel like my whole life
is a dumpster fire, and I'm only 12.
I don't even have a whole life yet.
I get it. No, it's rough.
It's rough when your folks get divorced.
My mom went around the apartment cutting
my dad's head out of all the photos.
- No!
- With her teeth.
Hey, we'll get through it all.
We'll study remotely. Bring your books
to Indiana. It'll be fine.
A Bar Mitzvah
is the event that defines you.
The Jewish Super Bowl.
What kind of killer party
can I have in Indiana?
I don't even know anyone there.
Hi, Rabbi Shapiro.
Jessica.
- Evan tells me you're doing well.
- Oh yeah.
The weather's great at rock bottom.
- Kidding.
- She's not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
- Hey. We'll chat when you get there, okay?
- Mm-hm.
High five.
It's gonna be a long drive,
but Grandma is so excited
that we're coming.
She's FaceTiming every five minutes.
At least I think it's her.
All I see is neck.
That's me, Evan Goldman.
And I live at 224 West 92nd Street
in the heart of New York City.
I'm about to turn 13
and have my Bar Mitzvah.
It was gonna be the biggest party.
My whole class was coming.
Everything was going so well.
We had a happy family.
Until my dad met someone else,
and my parents broke up.
Picture me
Just another cool kid
In NYC
Near the park and the Met
Got my crew
Everything was great
And I never knew
Just how bad it would get
Who'd have guessed
Dad would ruin everything?
Mom's depressed
And her lawyers are mean
Now I'm stressed
Life is a disaster
And I'm cracking from the strain
Going totally insane
And I'm just about to turn
Just about to turn, just about to turn
Thirteen!
Everything switches
- Thirteen!
- Everything turns around
- Thirteen!
- End up in stitches
- Thirteen!
- Hide away underground
Thirteen!
Can I get through it?
- Thirteen!
- Life'll change overnight
- Thirteen!
- How do I do it?
- Thirteen!
- Nothing is going right
The best and the worst
And the most and the least
And the crazy and the scary
And I'm standing on the edge!
Hey, Evan.
Here's your stuff from the house.
You okay, kiddo?
I want to stay here.
In my school. With my friends.
Like, are we even still a family?
Of course we are.
And we are working it all out.
It is going to be great.
Great.
Know what would've been great?
If you didn't
blow everything up and ruin my life!
Evan!
Twelve years old
Everything that used to be
Good as gold
Starts to crumble and crack
Pressure mounts
Once it was a joke
Now it really counts
And there's no turning back
- Life goes wrong
- Suddenly they're yelling
That your hair's too long
Or your room isn't clean
- Roll along
- Every conversation
Is another lost cause
Or a list of my flaws
And I'm just about to turn
Just about to turn
God, I'm gonna turn 13!
- What am I doing?
- Thirteen!
- Who am I gonna be?
- Thirteen!
- Somebody listen
- Thirteen!
Somebody talk to me
Why is my life a complete disaster?
How did things get so far off track?
How can I not go to Indiana?
How do I get my family back?
I wanna fly, wanna run, wanna drive
Wanna get rich, wanna get mad
Wanna get out, wanna get my braces off
Wanna get my nose pierced
Wanna grow my hair long
But all I keep hearing is
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
No, you're not ready!
No, it's not time yet!
No, it's not right now!
Wait until you're older!
Homework! Laundry! Dishes! Courses!
Just settle down and hold your horses!
What were you thinking?
You scared me. You can't just run away.
Isn't that what you're doing?
No! That's... It's different.
- Evan. Honey.
- I know, Mom.
"We'll get through it.
It'll be fine. You'll make new friends."
I just wanted to make sure
you went to the bathroom before we left.
Oh, I... I'm good.
Good, but all that other stuff too.
Mom, I hate this.
And I hate that Dad met someone else.
I know, kiddo. Me too.
We'll get through this.
Just about to turn
Just about to turn
Just about to turn
Just about to turn 13!
- Something is coming
- Thirteen!
- Something is blowing up
- Thirteen!
- Something is humming
- Thirteen!
- Somebody's growing up
- Thirteen!
Thirteen!
Thirteen!
Thirteen!
The best and the worst
And the most and the least
And the crazy and the scary
And we're just about to turn 13!
Oh! Look at that stunning sunset.
No buildings. No smog. No stress.
No people. Literally no people.
Thank God. I was so worried.
How was that drive?
Oh. You look terrible.
What? Hug your mother already.
I'm okay, Mom.
You're not. A mother knows.
Evan. Evan!
Hi, Grandma.
What?
I'm fine.
You're not. A grandma knows. Come on.
Wow, this place looks exactly the same.
I'm surprised you remember.
You haven't been here since you were five,
but if it took a divorce to get you
to come back, maybe it's a good thing.
- Mom!
- What? I look at the bright side.
- Come on, I'll show you your room.
- All righty.
- I'll take the bag.
- Okay.
Oh my God, it's heavy.
What do you have in here, rocks?
Your room.
Was this my mom's room?
Yes, it was,
but I've been using it as a yoga studio,
so that might be what you smell. Sorry.
Evan.
I know you'll miss your friends
and school and bagels.
But give it a chance.
When your grandfather brought me here,
I didn't think I'd ever get used to it.
But 50 years later, he's dead,
and I'm still here buying my bras,
eggs, and tires all in one store.
I love you.
And not just because I have to.
This entire year has been
lawyers and therapists and... carbs,
and every mom on the Upper West Side
asking, "How are you?"
I needed out.
So you're out.
Now you can start over.
Do whatever you want.
You could finally write again, huh?
Mom. Give me a little time, okay?
Take all the time you need.
Who am I to judge?
But, ticktock.
I'm just saying.
How can anyone sleep with all this quiet?
Good morning, honey.
Put away your video game.
So, Evan,
I was thinking about your Bar Mitzvah.
Okay, just curious.
How many other Jews
are there in Walkerton?
If you include us?
Us.
Is there a temple?
There is. It's called a church.
So we'll do the party in the backyard.
Oh, and I've got a boom box.
You can make me a mixtape.
What's a mixtape?
Also, I'm new here.
If my party is awful,
I'll never live it down.
I know it's important.
We will make it good, I promise.
It needs to be better than good.
Okay. Tell you what. I'll plan it.
- You'll plan it?
- Yes.
- You?
- Yes.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
So it can be everything that I want.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Good.
- Good.
See?
This is family.
Miss Ruth!
- Am I interrupting?
- No!
Uh, hi, Miss Ruth.
Patrice. Perfect.
This is my daughter, Jessica.
And I know it's been a while,
but you and Evan remember each other, yes?
- No.
- Not really.
Miss Ruth, I came by to return your book.
The Bell Jar.
Oh, this book made me wanna be a writer.
Isn't it a little sad?
What's sad is you're the only one
around here who knew it was sad.
- Patrice, maybe you can show Evan around.
- Sure.
Great.
- Wanna take some toast?
- I'm good.
Okay.
- That's a cool shirt.
- Thanks.
I try to warn people here that they're
destroying our wildlife with landfills.
- And how's that going?
- Landfills are part of the tour.
Patrice! Patrice!
- Is that Evan?
- Yeah. Evan, this is Archie.
- Hey, Archie.
- I know what you're thinking.
Yep, I'm faking it.
I'm gonna show Evan around.
This is around.
Let me know if you run into Kendra.
- Wait, who's Kendra?
- An angel walking amongst us mere mortals.
Cool. I can't wait to meet her.
I'm not planning on running into Kendra.
We'll see you later.
Fine.
I'll be here.
Alone.
The one child left behind.
- Don't fall for it.
- See you later, Archie!
Welcome to Walkerton.
If someone offers to pray for you,
let them.
- So what is there to do around here?
- Not much.
Yesterday I finished YouTube.
It's not nearly as exciting
as your life in New York.
Exciting, right.
My dad gets a midlife crisis,
and I get mid-America.
Now I have to have my Bar Mitzvah
in Walkerton, Indiana.
For us Jews, it's the one day
that's supposed to be happy and perfect.
See, Catholics don't have that day.
It would go against
everything we believe in.
Back home, your party defines you.
Hey, you help with my petition
to phase out single-use plastic,
and I'll help you plan your party.
Deal. And I'll make that
my Mitzvah project.
Your what?
When you have a Bar Mitzvah,
you get to pick a charity project
that helps others.
This is all working out.
We'll find the best DJ
at the best ballroom at the best hotel.
- Which is the Best Western.
- What?
Okay, where to start?
Down the road, there's a Dairy Queen
Up the block, there's a Walmart
There's a place
You can accessorize your pets
A school, a tree, a couple of churches
And no matter how hard anybody searches
That's about as thrilling
As this dumbass village gets
It's the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
So don't disappear
It's the lamest place in the world
But I'm pretty sure
It's not as lame as it was before
Now that you're here
Come on, I'll show you the hillside
where everyone waits for the resurrection.
And tomorrow,
I can show you the haunted barn.
Forty miles to the nearest river
Sixty miles to the airport
When we plan our escape
That's where we're gonna have to be
It's a shame, it's a sham
It's a terrible pity
You got dragged away
From New York City
It's major suck for you
But it's amazing luck for me
It's the lamest place in the world
And you're completely exotic
Intellectual, neurotic
You would never have a shot
Except you found the perfect guide
And though I don't really know you
I can hardly wait to show you
Every fake and freak
Every fool and clown
Since the Chippewas settled
This stupid town
Let 'em laugh, they won't keep me down
With you by my side!
And it just got a little bit better
Amazing but true
Yes, the lamest place in the world
Has lots of flaws
But maybe it'll be fine
Because it brought me
To you!
- Mom, Patrice is waiting for me!
- Books. Where are your books?
There are no books. It's the first day.
It's just the first day.
Okay, okay, okay.
I am so proud of you.
You're popping my lung. Okay.
Hey!
Love you, Mom.
I'm so excited
about my petition.
We can set things up at lunch,
and I'll show you where everything is.
Eddie, Malcolm, check this out.
We're in a canoe. Right?
- Come on, Ev, let's get inside.
- One second.
I said, "Yo, dude,
what happened to your toe?"
And he said, "Leeches."
- What?
- Bro, what?
- Hey, Brett got taller, huh?
- No way, man.
Lucy!
You're totally into Brett.
I did think about him all summer and...
we would look good together and
we are in eighth grade now.
Yeah, girl!
Lucy!
Bestie! Hi, Mrs. Duncan!
Hi, Lucy!
Lucy, it was the worst summer ever.
She put me in summer school.
Everyone's at camp having fun,
and I'm doing Bible study
and Latin and violin and science
while she picks out all my clothes
and watches over everything I do.
- Horrible!
- KC!
- Hey, there's Brett.
- Carlos, what's up?
I know! Listen, Kendra. I've been dying
to tell you about how Brett...
Hi, everybody!
Hey, Kendra.
Hey.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
I've really missed you, Kendra.
Aw!
This might have been
the longest summer ever.
Aw!
Nope! Same amount of months.
- But I saved every one of our texts.
- Aw!
Hold up. You two have been texting?
- Yeah, we have.
- Yeah, we have.
I thought your mom took away your phone.
You hardly texted me, like,
at all.
Well, yeah, but whenever I could sneak it,
Brett and I would text.
Kendra, yeah, can we chat a sec?
Brett, I was thinking about lots of things
when we were apart this summer.
Yeah? Things like?
This summer I was losing my mind
Trying to keep myself busy
- 'Stead of thinking 'bout you
- Thinking about you
No matter how I acted
I could never really get distracted
And the mystery in my mind
That I can't dismiss
Is when I'm ever gonna
Get my first real kiss
I spend every night and day
Just thinking about how I could get away
But I'm stuck in jail
I can't get free
'Cause there's my mother
Always watching me
I tried to do the stuff I love to do
But every song, every game
It's all the same
It just made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Same story, I was losing my mind
On the shores of Lake Wawasee
'Stead of being with you
Being with you
Sometimes when I couldn't write
I was beaming thoughts
From my brain at night
From the mess hall, the canteen
From the lake, from the lodge
The latrine that I had to clean
Thinking, "All I really wanna do
Is to have my first real kiss with you"
"Where it's dark and quiet
And romantic"
"Without your mom standing there
Getting frantic"
And now I'm here beside you
Like a dream come true
Every minute, every day
I was kept away
Only made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Who are those guys? Introduce me.
Those aren't my friends.
Let's just go, okay.
- Hi, man. Nice kicks.
- Huh. Thanks.
Oh, you're the new kid, right?
Yeah, I'm Evan Goldman. I'm from New York.
- What's up? Brett Sampson.
- Good to meet you.
I'm Kendra Duncan. Hi.
Wait, you're Kendra? The Kendra?
You know what just happened
when Evan said the name "Kendra"?
What?!
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
It made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with
You!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting all summer...
Wait for me!
- ...you!
- Guys, wait up. Wait. Hi!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
Waiting all summer for you
- Where's the main office?
- Oh, come with us.
Oh. Yeah. Cool.
You're not upset, are you?
No, I just think
texting all summer with someone
you wanna have your first kiss with
is something you tell your best friend,
if, you know,
she really is your best friend.
Don't even say that, Lucy.
Of course I'm happy for you.
And it will all work out.
I mean, assuming no one else
likes him.
- Right.
- Out.
Kendra, check it out.
Evan just invited us to his big party.
- It's my Bar Mitzvah. This fall.
- What's a Bar Mitzvah, exactly?
It's this Jewish thing
where they make you talk backwards
and everyone gets circumcised.
What?
Uh!
N... No!
It's a party. With dancing. And a DJ.
It'll be awesome.
Oh.
Actually, my friend, Patrice,
helped me plan it.
Patrice? That Patrice?
Sign the petition for compostable cutlery.
Do what's right. Not easy.
That was easy.
Yeah, maybe not.
Ooh.
She's good people. She, you know,
just does her own thing. Patrice.
No, she thinks she's better than everyone.
Whatever, Lucy. Evan, can we talk?
One second, guys.
What is going on, Patrice?
- That's who you wanna hang out with?
- I dunno. They seem cool.
Is that what you want? To be "cool"?
- I want them to come to my party.
- Why?
Because it's my Bar Mitzvah.
I need a great party.
What's your problem with them?
Any group that has room for Lucy Hallman
is not a group that I need to be part of.
How about this?
They come to my Bar Mitzvah,
and you and me have our own party.
Just us.
Boom. Everyone's happy.
You did not just say that.
Whatever's going on between you all,
I can help fix it.
Whatever. I don't even care.
Patrice, I...
Archie, what just happened?
Middle school.
- Juice box?
- Thanks, Zee.
Sometimes it helps
just to puncture something.
You don't have to help me.
I wanna be useful.
Jessica!
There are seven trillion nerves
in the human body,
and you are getting on every one of mine.
Find something to do.
I know.
You could finally write your novel.
What would I write about?
That my son resents me
for blowing up his life?
Or that after putting my own life on hold
so my husband could build up his law firm,
he betrays me, so our marriage implodes?
Or the kicker, I'm sleeping in the room
where my mom keeps her orthopedic shoes
because just when I've stopped asking,
"How can things get any worse,"
I find myself starting completely over.
- That's what I should write about?
- I'll clear off your father's old desk.
Thank you.
Set!
- Okay, Kendra, spill the tea!
- Okay.
Brett wants to kiss me,
and I wanna kiss him back.
Fun, right?
Just remember, you only get one shot.
Do it wrong,
someone loses a tongue.
- Are you sure you're ready?
- Wait, Lucy, what's that scent?
Is that jealousy?
First of all, blend your contour before
you come at me like that, Charlotte.
And second, we know how it works.
Problem is, her mom
will never let her be alone with him.
We'll find a spot my mom won't know about.
I always do what she tells me.
I wanna decide something for myself.
Be my own person, for once.
- Mmm?
- And that person wants to kiss Brett!
Great. Call the motions.
Right.
Here. We. Go.
- O-P-P!
- O-P-P!
- O-R-T!
- O-R-T!
- Unity!
- Unity!
Brett wants Kendra
To be his girlfriend
But Brett is the boy
That I wanna be with
I'm tired of being
Second best to my best friend
So she's smart, and she's pretty
And she's nice, oh hey!
I'm smart, and I'm pretty
And I'm... anyway
I'm a better choice to be with Brett
And I can prove it if I get
An O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
- O-P-P
- Opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be
If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity
M-m-m, yeah
Oooh!
Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh!
Opportunity!
Picture me
Being Brett's new girlfriend
Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend!
Picture Kendra so happy for me
Oooh, sad!
Picture Brett
Hanging out in my rec room
Let's play another game of foosball
I mean, we're basically the same
Check us out, can't you tell?
So I don't get football
But I fake it really well
I could show him I'm a better girl
If someone just would get a girl
An O-P-P, opportunity
- O-P-P, opportunity
- Hey-oh!
O-P-P, opportunity
O-P-P, opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
How will he know
That he really wants me
If he never even gets
A little opportunity?
Ho-ha!
Here we go, here we go
Here we go, huh!
Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves
I've got the vision, the precision
And the nerves, and I'm merciless
I cast a curse, you can't reverse this
I'm gonna be
The first to get the first kiss
- Check that!
- Ho!
In the lunch room or the locker room
I can rock a room like a shock, boom
Your time is running out
Tick-tick-tock, boom!
Ever since we were three
It's been Kendra and me
But it's time now to break free
Hashtag never underestimate me
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- What's it gonna be?
- What?
- When am I gonna see some...
- O-P-P-O-R-T unity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
What kind of best friend would I be
If I didn't take advantage
Of an opportunity?
The guys are meeting me out front.
Evan, I thought we agreed
we'd have family breakfast?
Look, I even cooked.
- You cooked?
- Yeah!
Last time you cooked something
from scratch, you summoned a demon.
It was raw and burnt in the same bite.
Just... try it.
Sit.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
So? It's pretty good, right?
- See? It's pretty good.
- Good job, Mom.
Pretty good. It's a really decent omelet.
They're pancakes.
Okay.
What's going on with your party planning?
You haven't told me anything.
- Oh, I'm working on it.
- Is Patrice still helping you?
She didn't come around yesterday
like she usually does.
See, the thing is,
I have a lot of friends now,
and, you know, it's just fine.
- Joel?
- Hey, is Evan around?
Uh...
- Yeah, he's right here.
- My friend's here. I gotta go.
- Evan, talk to your father.
- Bye.
Sorry, Joel, he ran off.
I've been trying to reach him,
but he won't answer my calls.
Well, give him time. He's adjusting.
Has he said anything
about wanting me
to come for the Bar Mitzvah?
I will ask him again.
Is he gonna be okay?
Now?
Now you're wondering
if he's gonna be okay?
I'll keep trying him.
Come on, Eddie. Throw it to me.
Come on!
Let's go! Whoa!
Hey, Patrice!
Patrice!
What is it, Archie?
- How come you haven't answered my texts?
- Because I don't understand them.
What's "H-C-Y-H-A-M-T"?
How Come You Haven't Answered My Texts.
Duh.
What is it, Archie?
You don't have to be mad at me
'cause you're mad at Evan.
I'm not mad at him. All he cares about
is that everyone comes to his party.
Come on, he's just trying to fit in.
Why are you defending him?
Well, don't get mad at me. I'm upset too.
If Kendra and Brett kiss,
where does that leave me?
I thought he was my friend, Archie.
Oh man, Brett,
you're good at, like, everything you do.
Thanks.
You know, I also play the guitar, and...
Okay, you think I could
play something at your party?
- I also write my own songs. A little.
- For real?
Yeah, for anyone. I'm kinda good.
I wrote one song called "Kendra," right?
Oh, there's also, "Hey, Kendra."
There's "Hey, Is Kendra Home?"
I wrote that one
while walking to her front door.
Yes, you can play at my party.
Thank you.
Sorry about your parents breaking up.
Mine did too, a few years ago.
I hated it.
I guess the hardest part for me
was having to leave home.
I couldn't imagine leaving here.
It's where my stuff is.
But also, there's...
Kendra over there
Man, I wanna kiss her.
If you both wanna kiss so much, just kiss.
It has to be somewhere special.
Something she'll always remember.
You know?
Come on. We finna get some snacks.
Checkmate.
That's defense. Pay up, you fools.
Into the donation bag.
What's up, Eddie?
Yo, The Bloodmaster
is closing this weekend.
- I wish our folks would let us go.
- Never gonna happen.
We'll never see that movie.
Wait. That's it. I know the perfect place
for Brett and Kendra to kiss.
For real? Yo, listen to this.
Okay, listen up
The solution to your problem
Is The Bloodmaster
- What?
- Really?
You say, "No, a horror movie
Isn't where you have your first kiss"
The Bloodmaster?
Hear me out, there's a few
Little things I wanna mention
First, it's dark, and it's scary
So you'll wanna hug tight
There are folks all around
But they're not paying attention
'Cause some wacko with an axe
Is hacking everyone in sight
So when you're in the market
For a thing that makes your heart
Pump the blood faster
I suggest The Bloodmaster
Friday night!
Friday night? This is awesome.
What do you think, Kendra?
Um...
Hold up, hold up
Let me tell you where it's at
Kendra's mom'll never let her
See a movie like that
And if she doesn't go
Then I guess they can't do it
- I guess she's kinda right.
- I'm always right.
Nothing to it, here's the deal
Kendra never tells her mom
That she's going to The Bloodmaster
What do I say?
'Cause for real, she'll be heading
Home with Lucy after school that day
- My house?
- Sleepover! Yay!
At 6:45, Kendra Zooms with her mother
And she asks if it's okay
To hang with Lucy all night
And at 7:05, Cassie's mom picks you up
'Cause everyone says Cassie's mom's cool
That's right!
And at 7:22, like a blizzard
That's predicted by a forecaster
Shoop shoop
You drop into The Bloodmaster
Friday ni...
Hold up, hold up
I don't know what you mean
'Cause they won't let us in
Until we're 17
So hold the applause
And can the confetti
I'm on it already!
There's another movie playing
At the theater
Where we're gonna see The Bloodmaster
The Bloodmaster!
So we just buy tickets
To the little kiddie movie instead
Shoop shoop
Shoop shoop
Good luck, there's a manager
Who doesn't miss a trick
It's not a problem
If we all get the moves just right
I'll create a distraction
With the guy who's taking tickets
And we duck into the theater
While you block us from sight
Then we're in!
Kendra gets to be the queen
Brett gets to be the stud master!
We're going to The Bloodmaster!
- Friday night!
- We're going to The Bloodmaster!
We're going to The Bloodmaster!
This Friday night!
Great job. It's gonna be so much fun.
- Sweet, Evan.
- Walk with me.
So, Evan Goldman,
you figured it out! You're the hero.
Not really. I mean, a little maybe, but...
And it seems important that we all come
to this party of yours because,
well, if there's a party
and I tell people not to come...
there isn't a party.
Why do I feel there's more to this chat
than the one we're currently having?
Here's the problem.
You need people at your party.
I need to make sure Brett and Kendra
don't kiss at this movie on Friday,
which was your idea.
Why don't you want Brett and Kendra to k...
Oh.
You see my dilemma.
Of course,
Kendra's my best friend,
and I could never hurt her, so...
You help me,
I help you. It's quid pro quo!
How am I supposed to stop them from
getting together if they like each other?
You're the guy with all the answers.
You'll figure it out.
Aw, I'm so glad we're friends. Aren't you?
Bye!
Set!
Set!
All right, everyone,
let's try this again.Ready, Lucy?
Five, six, seven...
- Hey, Archie. How you doing?
- Pretty good.
I guess Patrice
is still pretty mad at me, huh?
Well, you chose those guys over her.
My guess is she hates you.
Oh, let me grab my bag.
Oh! Cute shirt, Archie.
Did you see that?
Way to play it cool, Arch.
If I could have ten minutes
sitting next to her,
I would know
that I had not lived my life in vain.
- Does she know you like her?
- Oh.
I think she misinterpreted
my flirting for food poisoning.
Of course, in her defense,
I did throw up after.
What if I told you I had a way for you
to sit next to Kendra for two hours?
Next to her in the same building?
Next to her in the next seat
at the movies on Friday.
Don't toy with me.
Here's the thing.
Lucy is holding my party hostage
unless I stop
Brett and Kendra from kissing.
Okay, I'm listening.
All right, it's pretty complicated,
but hear me out.
What if you sit
on the other side of Kendra...
- I'm in!
- There's more.
Okay, keep going.
Then, at the perfect moment,
you faint on Kendra's shoulder,
drawing her attention
and blocking Brett from kissing her.
Oh! And I get to kiss Kendra instead.
What? No. The plan is,
you make a scene and block the kiss,
and no one will get mad at you because...
Because I'm charming.
Yeah, that.
Lucy gets what she wants,
and everyone comes to my party.
And I get to kiss Kendra.
You keep saying that
as though it's part of the plan.
It's not.
You saved all my old journals?
I thought I told you
to throw out all my old stuff?
When did you say that?
When I left home and said,
"Throw out all my old stuff."
- Oh! Jess.
- Mom.
Jess.
- You know what I miss?
- Subtlety?
Teaching.
It gave me purpose.
You were really good at it.
You went to college, worked harder
than anyone, and earned your BFA.
You were a writer. That was your purpose.
And if it took a divorce
to light a fire under yourtuchus,
maybe that's a good thing.
I'm just saying, again..
I'm gonna get some stuff
then I'm gonna hang out with Archie.
No, wait... Oh no...
We're supposed to have dinner together.
And you have a Hebrew lesson.
- I'll reschedule it for tomorrow.
- No... Evan. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back.
You have blown us off every night.
You won't answer your father's calls.
You haven't talked to me
about your Bar Mitzvah.
And now, skipping lessons?
- What is going on?
- Nothing.
You wanted to move here
and for me to make new friends,
so here I am, making new friends.
- At least I'm trying.
- Look, this is about you.
You will do your lesson with the rabbi,
and then you will see your friends.
You're his mother.
He's watching what you do.
- That's all I've got to say.
- Yeah.
I doubt that.
Archie! Archie!
- I can't talk right now.
- Do you wanna come for dinner?
I've got a whole list of movies
where Americans do bad English accents.
All right, fine, you broke me.
We're all going to The Bloodmaster.
Evan made a plan
where I block Brett from kissing Kendra
so Lucy will bring everyone to his party.
Wait, Evan is using you
just to save his party?
Yeah, and I'm good with that.
- This is wrong, Archie.
- Stay out of it, Patrice.
I like what you're doing,
but think about...
And this could just be fun...
Just... not getting the beit
and the kaf confused.
Except, they're confusing.
Hmm. You find
a 6,000-year-old language confusing.
Now I see the problem.
You thought this would be easy.
That just... That's just bad intel.
I'm sorry, there's something important
I need to do.
More important than your Bar Mitzvah?
One moment.
God, you're gonna love this.
No, it's Goldman again.
Really, Rabbi, trust me. This can't wait.
You want me to go full rabbi on you?
I'm gonna go... I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go full rabbi.
Kippah coming on. Boom.
Respect. Respect the yarmulke.
Look, I'm not here to tell you
what you should or shouldn't do, okay?
You gotta find your own way. I just...
I've just walked
a few more steps than you,
and maybe I can help you
stumble a few less than I did.
Really, I'm not avoiding my lesson.
It's your choice.
But listen to this, okay?
Look, how you do one thing
is how you do everything,
and what you're not doing
is learning your haftorah.
Seriously. It's not even Hebrew.
You sound like an injured dolphin.
Really? Oh.
We'll talk soon.
Peace out, Flipper.
Only got one shot
Better get it right
I'm getting ready
Gotta look real hot
'Cause it's Friday night
I'm getting ready!
I'm getting ready today
I'm getting ready to say
"I'm not that weird geek
You think I must be"
I'm getting ready to move
I'm getting ready to prove
Kendra just needs a love god like me
Big night tonight
Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah
Gotta wear a tie
If this goes right
Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah
Gotta zip my fly
If we can get in
And Brett's ready for action
But Kendra's distracted
By Archie's distraction
So they never kiss
Lucy gets satisfaction
- And everyone comes to my party
- So I'm getting ready, it's true
I'm getting ready to do
- Something that makes them
- Something that makes her
Accept me at last
I'm getting ready, all right
Nothing can stop me tonight
I'm getting ready
Ready
Ready
Now!
- Oh my God! Can I help...
- Just watch where you're going!
- I... I...
- No need to do this.
- I always fail.
- Oh. Evan pulled this off.
I'm sorry!
I'm so afraid.
Do you like scary movies?
- Hey, Archie.
- This is so cool.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, Carlos.
Brett, you made it.
Yeah.
All right. Eddie, how's my breath?
I'm, like, getting notes
of jalapeos and bowling shoes.
That's good, right?
Yeah, yeah... That's fine.
Really?
Cassie, Molly, over here!
- This is gonna be scary.
- What's up, Cassie.
- Hi, Carlos.
- Hi, Cassie.
- Charlotte!
- Come sit with me.
- Hey, Malcolm.
- Kendra's here.
Yeah, I'm kinda nervous.
- Hey, Kendra.
- Hey.
Hi!
Mission Popcorn Pileup accomplished.
- Thank you.
- Great job, Evan.
I can't believe
you pulled this off.
This better work. Or you'll be lighting
that birthday menorah alone.
That's Hanukkah.
Heidi, so cool that your cousin,
who escaped prison,
let us use his cabin here
in the isolated mountains.
Look, there's blood everywhere.
He said he was going
to look for some tools in the toolshed.
Yo, there you are.
I was worried that you were...
- I'll never sleep again!
- This is awesome!
We have to run.
Let's split up.
Yeah.
They...
Get off!
Kurt, if we're about to be
cut into pieces,
then let's have one last kiss.
Oh! He's going in.
This is on.
Ooh!
- Kendra Duncan!
- Oh my God.
- Mom?!
- Cassie Connor!
Everyone under the age of 17, out!
- How'd you find out?
- Who did this?
Evan Goldman!
- Huh?
- Evan? Seriously?
Goldman?
- Evan?
- You did this?
Evan, you said I could kiss Kendra.
- What?
- No!
Evan, what did you do?
Dude, why would you do this?
No way we're coming to your party now.
- Come on.
- What is going on?
No, no, no! No!
Have you seen the poster for it?
It's just made of blood!
I can't believe this.
Get up.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to have some fun for once.
Do something I wanted.
I trusted you, and this is what happens.
Kendra!
Stay away from my daughter. Go.
I can't believe you all did this.
Archie, are you okay?
Okay? You messed up
my one chance to kiss Kendra.
I was just trying to help you.
Okay, why does everyone think I need help?
I have my own parking space,
my own bathroom, the best ride in town.
I'm great.
You two clearly need more help than I do.
I can't believe you told.
You were using Archie
just so people would come to your party.
Or maybe you purposely wanted tonight
to fail so no one would come to my party.
You took advantage of my friend.
It's not me that ruined everything.
Archie, wait up.
Are you okay?
No.
I was about to kiss Kendra.
Yeah, but...
Do you think she really
would have gone through with it?
Yeah, she was...
I mean, she was worried
her mom would get furious.
Maybe she wouldn't have.
Really?
I can't believe this.
I trusted you...
Maybe you've been waiting all summer
for someone who isn't ready for you,
instead of someone who is, you know,
ready for an opportunity like this.
Let's get out of here, boyfriend.
Wait, what?
- Tell me not to kill him.
- Don't kill him.
- Too late.
- Jessica!
That was your room once.
Remember what it felt like
to sit on that bed when you messed up.
Set!
Hut!
Man, what's up? Are you possessed?
- 'Cause I've seen that at church.
- You need to fix your wig.
Brett, you stood there
like you've never seen a football before.
- It's a football.
- Brett!
- Ah.
- See? I can't focus.
And every time she kisses me,
I forget why I don't want her to kiss me.
You know,
it's like my brain stops working.
Brett! I'm texting you!
Sorry, y'all. I gotta...
- This is bad.
- This is bad.
I've been texting you.
What? I'm on the field.
You should have your phone on you.
I've been texting and calling you.
What? When I'm on the field?
That doesn't make sense.
- Yeah, it does.
- Don't be angry about this.
What if I needed to talk to you?
What is a man
When he gives up his soul?
When his brains are in chains
And his heart has lost control
You're telling me.
How does a man
Who can see behind his head
Turn as blind as a bat with no eyes?
What if I needed to talk to you
or had something important to...
What is a man
When he turns on his friends?
We've been tossed, now we're lost
- Just a wig full of split ends
- Now, that's the truth.
How do we make
Our hero wide awake
So that he can realize?
That girl is bad, bad news
Bad news
Nothing but tears, nothing but trouble
Nothing but stress
Yes, she is bad, bad news
Bad news
Bad news
Our buddy, Brett, is gonna regret
That he ever said "yes"
The girl may be hot
But all that he's got
Is bad, bad news
Hey, Lucy. Hey, Brett.
- Oh. Hey, Cassie.
- Wait, were you flirting with her?
- I was just saying hi.
- Oh, so you're saying she's hot.
No, I mean, she's... nice.
Oh, so I'm not nice?
- What? I never said that.
- Oh, so now I'm a liar!
This girl.
That girl is bad, bad news
Bad news
Very bad news
It's an invasion
It's like a war
Or a zombie attack
Whack! Goes the bad, bad news
Bad news
Trs bad!
We've been abandoned, left in the sand
And we need him back
They're kissing, they're dating
It's so nauseating
It's bad, bad news
Every minute we wait
Is an hour too late
He has got to be freed from her spell
Why would our friend prefer
To be hanging with her?
- Are we mean?
- Are we rude?
Do we smell?
He's a mess on the field
So our fate has been sealed
- Now it's time for our team to rebel
- Yeah!
His hormones have made him
A fool and a clown
If we don't solve it soon
Then we're all going down
The longer it goes, the worse it'll get
So somebody's gotta tell Brett!
Yeah!
- That girl is bad, bad news, bad news
- Yahoo! She's so bad, yeah
She took our pal, she took our leader
And led him astray
Hey, hey!
She's totally bad, bad news
Bad news
Bad news
Listen up, Brett
You're not ruined yet
We'll show you the way
Get away from that noise
And come back to your boys
Even though she has excellent shoes
She's bad, bad, bad, bad
Bad, bad, bad, bad
News!
Bad news!
I just wanted to make friends.
I just wanted something to go right.
I know it hasn't been easy.
- Now everyone thinks I'm a loser.
- Nobody thinks you're a loser.
"You're a loser."
Okay!
Things are going really great for us, huh?
You and me.
Kid from the city
Steps up to the plate
He's got one at-bat
To determine his fate
And so he takes a big swing
With remarkable grace
And the ball
Hits him right in the face
It would be funny if it didn't suck
If it didn't hurt
If it wasn't the end of the world
It was over before I started
And nothing's gonna fix it now
Girl from the sticks
Had a plan of attack
"I'm gonna set New York on fire
And I'm not coming back"
Except I guess I never got around
To lighting that torch
'Cause I'm back
On my mother's front porch
It would be funny if it didn't suck
If it wasn't me
If it happened to anyone else
I avoided three high school reunions
But nothing's gonna fix it now
Nobody wants to hear
How failing's
The only way you can learn
Doesn't matter
If you don't know the rules
Or you don't like the game
'Cause you find out
What you're made of
When you face
What you're most afraid of
Like, what if you threw a party
And nobody came?
It would be funny if it didn't suck
And it's gonna suck
But here's what I'm trying to say
It's not over until it's over
And only we can fix it now
It's not over until it's over
And only you can fix it
Now
Patrice!
Hey, Dad.
Hey, kiddo.
Um,
Mom says you're having a rough time.
You wanna talk?
I think I've done some stuff
that has really hurt other people.
Ev,
sometimes we make choices that...
that inadvertently hurt
the people we love the most.
And sometimes those mistakes
aren't easy to fix,
but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
Does that ever work?
You answered the phone this time so, um,
if you're lucky, it does.
I know,
but you saw what happened.
I have to go.
Okay, kiddo.
And Ev...
I'm sorry
that I hurt you and your mother.
Thank you.
I miss you.
Me too.
Okay, I'm running to my locker.
Why?
Brett, as your best friends,
we need to tell you, keep it together.
I'm trying!
She's got some kind of,
like, hypnotic hold on you,
and we have no idea what it is.
Well, some of us know what it is,
but you gotta be strong, Brett.
For us.
I miss Kendra.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe I can help.
You? You're the reason this all happened.
Look, I know I screwed things up,
but I wanna make it right.
Hear me out.
Fine.
You have ten seconds,
starting nine seconds ago.
You have to go talk to Kendra.
You two are supposed to be together.
If what you want is to be with Kendra,
then go tell her.
I wouldn't know what to say.
Tell her
You thought about what happened
Tell her you haven't slept at night
Tell her
Although you've made a huge mistake
You want to make it right
Uh-huh. Keep going.
Tell her you know you aren't perfect
Tell her you've waited way too long
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you mean it
Tell her you just were wrong
Do you even know what you're saying?
I think what he's saying is...
Tell her
You shouldn't have ignored her
Or dissed her
In front of all the school
Tell her
The minute you got out of touch
You felt like such a fool
Tell her just hanging out together
Was so nice you prayed it wouldn't end
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you miss her
Ask if she'll be your friend
Tell her you think of her at sundown
And sunrise
And dinnertime
And noon
Tell her there's one thing
That you're sure you know
You both are so in tune
Tell her
That life feels dumb without her
Stand tall and look her in the eye
Tell her you're sorry
Tell her you'll prove it
Ask her to let you try
Tell her that people get things wrong
'Cause people are afraid
They won't fit in your world
Or in your life
But things will work out fine
If she will only listen
Listen!
Kendra, I thought about what happened
Kendra, I haven't slept at night
Kendra, I know I made a huge mistake
I wanna make it right
I know there are no good excuses
I feel like I've been in a trance
Tell her you're sorry
I'm sorry.
Tell her you mean it
I mean it.
Ask for another chance
Kendra
I just want another
Chance
Go, go. Yeah.
Okay, stop, no! Brett is with me!
Brett!
Not anymore.
Twist!
Hey, Evan.
Thanks.
No problem, Brett.
See you at your party.
I wish you never came here.
You ruined my life.
I think you ruined your life.
Trust me, I know how that works.
Patrice, I know I messed up.
We both did.
I shouldn't have made you choose
between me and them.
I just want you at my party.
Let me think about it, okay?
Patrice!
Hi! Are you ever coming by
to say hello anymore?
What?
You look like all the oceans dried up.
Miss Ruth,
what if you're really mad at someone
who did something that really hurt you
and you don't know
how to not be mad anymore?
I can tell you this. If you push away
everyone who ever makes a mistake,
all you'll be left with is yourself.
And that would be an even bigger mistake.
I wish I was as smart as you.
And I wish I was as young as you.
We work with what we have, huh?
I don't understand ties.
It's like your neck is a gift.
Come here.
There you go.
There.
I am proud of you.
What... What happened?
It was all going so well.
My son is a man.
You're totally embarrassing me.
You're totally embarrassing me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise, I...
There'll be more of this today.
Come here.
- God I love you.
- I love you too.
Honey, fast.
Will do.
- Seat belt.
- All right.
Thank you.
Evan.
I have something for you.
And this was
your grandfather's first yarmulke.
He'd want you to wear it.
Just don't smell it. Take my word.
- Thank you, Grandma.
- I love you.
Love you too.
- I'll see you in there.
- Okay.
Yo, guys.
- What's up?
- What's up?
- How you feelin'?
- Really good. I'm feeling good!
- Oh man!
- You did good, Jess.
- Be proud.
- I am.
Of course, I helped.
Rabbi Shapiro, you made it!
Ah! So here we are.
You worked hard for this.
And I had to listen to all of it,
so good for us.
- How you feeling?
- Well, I'm having my Bar Mitzvah.
Just not where I thought or how I thought
or with who I thought, but, you know...
- So don't believe everything you think.
- Yeah.
Not a lot of Jews around here, huh?
Least I'm the hottest rabbi somewhere.
You know, you were right.
This is more important than a dope party.
I just said that so you'd study.
- Let's rock this suburb.
- Oh yeah!
- High five, baby!
- My man!
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
Thanks for letting me come.
That is a killer suit.
Bet the, uh, girls are all over you.
That is the most dad line in the world.
How about giving your dad a hug?
You know,
I'm looking forward to next summer.
Yeah, me too.
All right, Mr. Goldman. Showtime.
What happens if I mess up?
Then you take a big breath,
and you do it better the next time,
or at least you try.
Okay?
Okay.
- Ooh. Family selfie.
- I'll see you in there.
Come on.Look at this.
- Some of that, oh.
- All right. Right on.
Ready? Look at that.
One, two, three.
That's awesome.That's awesome.
All righty.
Hi, Joel.
It's good you came.
You look great.
I know.
I feel like I missed out
on some important stuff here.
Thanks for not giving up on him.
Hmm.
Um...
A Jewish olive branch.
Oh! Thank you.
Oh!
Thank you.
Hm.
You know,
I'm writing again.
- Really?
- Mm-hm. A novel.
- That's not gonna end well for me, is it?
- Probably not.
Yeah.
Kendra, wait.
Lucy, what are you doing here?
I came to say I'm sorry.
I was really hurt
you didn't text me all summer
but were talking to Brett.
I know.
I should have just told you.
Of course he would like you.
Everyone likes you. You're really smart.
You get all A's.
You're really lucky.
Sorry I messed everything up.
I figured if I had Brett,
I could feel important to somebody.
You've always been
important to me.
I was wrong, and
I really miss you.
I really miss my best friend.
I miss you too.
Let's never let a boy
come between us again.
Hashem, who created the heavens,
gives a soul to the people
and a spirit to all who walk upon it.
And now, Evan will finish his reading
with the haftorah.
I call back to the bimah...
Oh! You made it!
See, was that so difficult?
You are so annoying.
You love me.
Well done.
If you stand here behind me
And you call me a man
And you're counting on me
To come through
You should know
That I'll give you the best that I can
But we all have
A little more homework to do
And I've been looking
In the back of the book for the answers
Hoping the bell wouldn't chime
But I'm not ready
To put down my pencil just yet
There are too many answers
That I didn't get
I need a little less pressure
And a little more time
I am trying to follow
I am trying to lead
I am trying to find what is true
But if you're gonna stand with me
Then you have to concede
That we all have
A little more homework to do
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
You get a little bit older
A little bit taller
A little bit better, a little bit
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
And the days ahead coming on so quick
You can't get out of the way
You keep running
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
And I'm a little bit older
A little bit faster
A little bit closer, a little bit
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
And the sky goes blue
And the sky goes black
And no matter what you do
You can't go back
You go day into day into day
Day into day into day
Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day turns to day
And I'm a little bit braver
A little bit broader
A little bit brighter
And I've been looking
In the back of a book for the answers
Hoping the bell wouldn't chime
But I'm not ready to put down
My pencil just yet
There are too many answers
That I didn't get
I need a little less pressure
And a little more time!
I am trying to follow
I am trying to lead
I am trying to learn what is true
I am trying to be
What you want and I need
And we all have a little more homework
We all have a little more homework
We all have a little more homework
- To do
- Day turns to day turns to day
- Turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework to do
Day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework to do
- Day turns to day, day turns to
- Day turns to day turns to day
- A little more homework
Day turns to day
Turns to day turns to day
A little more homework
- To do
- Day turns to day turns to day
Turns to day
Turns to day turns to day!
I'm Evan Goldman.
I live at 24 Plains Drive,
Walkerton, Indiana.
I'm 13 years old,
and I'm just getting started.
One, two, three, here we go!
I saw the cover, and I judged the book
I turned away without a second look
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
Mm-mmm
I told myself I better run and hide
I never noticed what was there inside
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
Ah-ahh
And I can't stop myself from loving
Every itty-bitty thing...
You, you! I see a brand-new you!
You, you! I see a brand-new you!
I didn't know where I was meant to be
Ooh-ooh-ooh
I figured no one would be there for me
But now, now, now
I see a brand-new you
You, you, I see a brand-new you
I never knew that you could understand
But I looked up
And you reached out your hand
And now, now, now
I see a brand-new you!
Ooh-ooh-ooh
I opened my eyes
And there's a great big world around
I opened my eyes
And just look, just look
Look at what I found
Here we go!
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Hey!
Yeah!
I opened my eyes
And there's a great big world around
I opened my eyes
- And just look, just look
- Look at what I found!
I see a brand-new you! Ooh!
I see a brand-new you! Ooh!
I see a brand-new you!
Bravi Charlo... Bravo Charlie mark.
Bravo mark.
Chocolate mark.
Alpha Bravo Carmen. Marker.
Charlie mark. I did it.
Charlie marker.
Bravo mark.
Delta mark.
Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
Bravo mark.
Bravo mark.
Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
Marker.
Marker.
Marker.
Your mark.
Marker!
This summer, I was losing my mind
Trying to keep myself busy
- 'Stead of thinking 'bout you
- Thinking 'bout you
No matter how I acted
I could never really get distracted
And the mystery in my mind
That I can't dismiss
Is when I'm ever gonna
Get my first real kiss
I spend every night and day
Just thinking 'bout how I could get away
But I'm stuck in jail
I can't get free
'Cause there's my mother
Always watching me
I tried to do the stuff I love to do
But every song, every game
It's all the same
It just made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
And I think that I'm ready now
Same story
I was losing my mind
On the shores of Lake Wawasee
'Stead of being with you
Being with you
Sometimes when I couldn't write
I was beaming thoughts
From my brain at night
From the mess hall, the canteen
From the lake, from the lodge
The latrine that I had to clean
Thinking, "All I really wanna do
Is to have my first real kiss with you"
"Where it's dark and quiet
And romantic"
"Without your mom standing there
Getting frantic"
And now I'm here beside you
Like a dream come true
Every minute, every day
I was kept away
Only made me, made me
Ma-made me wanna be with you!
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting all summer for you
- I've been waiting
- I've been waiting
Waiting all summer for you
Brett wants Kendra
To be his girlfriend
But Brett is the boy
That I wanna be with
I'm tired of being
Second best to my best friend
So she's smart, and she's pretty
And she's nice, oh hey!
I'm smart, and I'm pretty
And I'm... anyway
I'm a better choice to be with Brett
And I can prove it if I get
An O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
O-P-P, opportunity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be
If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity
M-m-m, yeah
Oooh!
Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh!
Opportunity!
Picture me
Being Brett's new girlfriend
Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend!
Picture Kendra so happy for me
Oooh, sad!
Picture Brett
Hanging out in my rec room
Let's play another game of foosball
I mean, we're basically the same
Check us out, can't you tell?
So I don't get football
But I fake it really well
I could show him I'm a better girl
If someone just would get a girl
An O-P-P, opportunity
- O-P-P
- Opportunity
Hey-oh!
O-P-P, opportunity
O-P-P, opportunity
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
How will he know
That he really wants me
If he never even gets
A little opportunity?
Ho-ha!
Here we go, here we go
Here we go, huh!
Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves
Ho!
I've got the vision, the precision
And the nerves, and I'm merciless
I cast a curse, you can't reverse this
I'm gonna be
The first to get the first kiss
- Check that!
- Ho!
In the lunch room or the locker room
I can rock a room like a shock, boom
Your time is running out
Tick-tick-tock, boom!
Ever since we were three
It's been Kendra and me
But it's time now to break free
Hashtag never underestimate me
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- Up high for L-U-C-Y!
- Ho!
- What's it gonna be?
- What?
- When am I gonna see some...
- O-P-P-O-R-T unity!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!
What kind of best friend would I be
If I didn't take advantage
Of an opportunity?