2nd Serve (2012) Movie Script
One fine day
Pa on the fiddle
Ma on the porch
Me in the middle
Boys out back
Fish in the river
Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver
One fine day
Pa on the fiddle
Ma on the porch
Me in the middle
Boys out back
Fish in the river
Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver
One fine day
Pa on the fiddle
Singing a song
A laugh is a riddle
Goes too fast
Goes too far
Never look back
Don't think where you are
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Shit.
Owen.
Pink's plane landed
five minutes ago.
Mm.You were supposed
to wake me up.
What are you doing?
You're going to be late for
your first day at the Dirty Club.
Derby Club.
What did you say?
You're mumbling.
Derby Club. Oh, whatever.
Have you seen that place? I bet they
don't even have indoor courts, do they?
Do they, Owen?
Owen, I'm talking
to you.
Owen!
Ouch.
Ouch.
What are you doing?
Well, if you'd listen.
"Former tennis star publishes
poems in the Courier."
Lofty, Owen, lofty.
Robert Frost
played tennis.
Owen, baby, you
are good at two things.
Poetry isn't one of them.
Pink's out of town
again on the 27th.
See you
in a few weeks.
I took
A little ride
On the subway
Opened my eyes
I make a poor boy shiver
Easy
Easy
Easy
Ice?
Straight up.
Ah.
Owen.
What happened to you?
You used to whip
my ass at everything.
Juniors, the tour. Now you can't even work for me.
Charles, I just came by to get my
check and clean out my locker, so...
You were the best.
Sponsors, fans.
Charisma.
But you just couldn't stay away from the bookies, could you, Owen?
So you going to mail me a check or are we
going to have some sort of a transaction?
Sleeping with
the members' wives.
The towel girl.
Giving lessons outside the club.
And then there was that incident with the Pee Wees last month.
Trevor started it. He is seven.
You called him
a jackwipe. He is a jackwipe.
You leave me no choice here.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.
You already fired me
Monday, Charles, okay?
Am I going to get my
damn check or not?
I gave you a chance,
and you pissed it
all away.
The Dew was flat.
I bought it yesterday.
Got a bad one, Chuck.
Heard you took a job
at the Derby Club.
Such a sad fall
for Mr. Match.
It's game set.
Excuse me?
You remember.
Game set match.
Oh, how the mighty
have fallen.
It is a very,
very sad day.
Have fun
at the Dirty Club.
Eat my balls, boys.Hey.
It's on, Match.
It's so oh.
It's game set.
You're Owen Match.
Yeah, that's me. Who are you?
I'm Jake.
Hey, Jake.
Do you know Sherry?
Yeah.
She's the manager.
Right, she's the one that hired me,
but I've only talked to her on the phone.
What happened
to your nose?
Oh, high heel pump.
Jake, have you heard from Turner?
No.Find him.
You're late. You must be Sherry.
I don't like tardiness. What do you
like, Sherry?
I like people who show
up to work on time, Owen.
Could you call me Game? Do you know how
to read a court sheet?
Yeah, yeah, I am skilled at
the art of court sheet reading.
Good. This shows you who's
on the court for the entire day.
Clinics, lessons, walk-ons,
per minute court times.
You fill out your lessons
in the pro book,
and Jake will put them
on the court sheet.
If your name's
on the court sheet--
Owen. If your name's
on the court sheet,
your butt's on the
court, you got it?
Yeah. Court sheet,
important. Got it.
You're not going to get some
fountain club-type in here.
Just the basics and then you
will learn the system as you go.
Jake here will give
you a quick tour,
and then I expect you
to dive right in.
Any luck?
Straight
to voice mail. Keep trying.
And when you do find him, tell him
to not bother coming in tomorrow.
Damn.
You should see her when she
gets out of bed in the morning.
Dude.
She's my mom.
My bad.
Is she serious about
firing that guy Turner?
She like fired him
like six times already.
I got fired twice
this week.
She's got four
full-time pros.
You'll be
number five.
Uh, that's Roman.
He's from Boston.
Teaches at least
70 hours a week.
Came down with a case of dead
arm a couple of months back.
I had a buddy have
that once. Yikes.
He's been playing with
his wrong arm ever since.
He can beat that thing against the wall and not feel a thing.
Everyone calls him
Dead Arm.
That's Billy.
Goes by Lingo.
Been here
a few years.
Seems like
a lot longer.
You got to aim higher if
you're going to be a fuzzy baller.
Raging ADHD.
Non-funny.
And that's Carlos.
He's been here
a few months now.
He came from somewhere
out East.
Claims to have worked
with Nadal and Brad Leaver.
What he say?
Hell if I know.
What's up, man?
Blood sucker.
Come on, I'll show
you the locker room.
Hey, gents.
This is the staff locker room.
Don't mind the smell.
Owen Match.
Coach.
Get over here, bubby.
Ah.
Oh.You haven't been
avoiding me, have you?
Sit down there. Let
me take a look at you.
Sit down,
sit down.
Wow. I got to head back
to the shed.
Ah, bubby.
Got to say, you look
like death taking a shit.
Get my back, would you? My
arthritis is really flaring up again.
I thought you took a
job across the river.
Yeah.
I came back about
three months ago,
and was able to sweet talk
Sherry into this part time deal.
Thanks. Yeah, what's
the deal with her?
Sherry?
Oh, boy.
She'll bite your balls off
and serve them at tea.
That ass is tight though,
huh? Tight as a drum.
Check that out?
I know you did, boy.
Probably got harder
than Chinese algebra.
Of course you can't say
stuff like that anymore.
Now you got to be politically correct.
You can't compliment a woman.
You used to get your face slapped.
Now you get slapped with a lawsuit.
Know what
I'm talking about?
I didn't know
he worked here.
Part time. How did
you know Coach?
He was my coach for like ten years.
Pee Wee's through High School.
Cool.
No, not cool. It's not cool at all.
That man almost put me on
blood pressure medication.
I don't think this
is going to work, man.
Hold on a minute.
Derby C.
This is Jake.
Yo, Jake. Turner, where are you?
Yeah, brother, I don't think I'll be able to make it in today.
Who's my 10:00?Uh, it's... Emily.
Yeah, that ain't going to happen.
What do I tell
my mom? Tell her--
Tell her I'm coming
down with something.
Okay, but--
Look, Jake-- Shit.
Hi, Jake.
I'm here for my 10:00 with Turner.
Who?
Emily. Hi, Sherry.
Let me guess.
Turner.
Emily, why don't go and
warm up on court three?
Okay.
See you later, Jake. I'll see--
Sherry, we need to talk. Yeah, that's going to have to wait.
Right now, I really need
you to make yourself useful
and go hit with that girl that
Turner just blew off. Okay? Thanks.
Jake.
Ooh-hoo.
You okay?
Ye-yeah. Good, come introduce me
to your girlfriend.
She's not
my girlfriend. You want her to be?
Emily.
Hay, Jake.
Hey, Emily.
I'm Owen.
I'll be subbing
for Turner today.
So, uh, let's see
what you got.
Jesus.
All right, okay.
That's good. Ease up.
You want to get
your racket back
before it even bounces,
okay? You're rushing it.
Here we go.
Here you go again.
Ooh, okay.
All right, loosen up
with your grip.
All right?
Loosen your grip.
Oh.
My insurance
kicked in, yet?
You sure you don't
want to go to the hospital?
I got some quaaludes
in my bag.
Just keep it iced.
You'll be fine.
You'll feel better
tomorrow.
Yeah, listen, Sherry,
about tomorrow, um--
Look, I really appreciate
this job and all but, um--
Don't thank me.
Thank Coach.
He's the one who
suggested I call you.
Coach? Yeah, against my better
judgment I might add.
What?
It's all over town why you got
fired from the Fountain Club.
Hold on there. Coach
told you to hire me?
Yeah, we lost a pro a couple
of weeks ago, so you got lucky.
You think you can
finish out the day?
Yeah, oh, yeah.
I'll be fine.
Okay. Stand up.
Next to the wall.
It's for the bulletin board.
Oh, that's a winner.
What's up, Jake?
Hey, nice jacket.
It's Emily's.
She left it yesterday.
She's coming down
to pick it up.
Oh, cool.
So you talked to her.
No, her mom called
my mom, you know.
Dude, what are you doing?
You had the perfect opportunity.
You could've
talked to her.
And said what?
Said, "Hey, you want to
go see a movie sometime?"
Maybe she doesn't
like movies.
Everybody likes movies,
Jake. Check it out.
Hey, Sherry, how about you and
I go check out a movie tonight?
Get on the court, Owen.
See?
You just
hit on my mom.
Yeah, that's, uh,
that's what I do.
Here she comes. Cool.
Ask her, ask her to
check some balls with you.
What? Play tennis.
I don't play tennis.
Hi, Jake.
Well--
Thanks.
Hey, Owen.Hey.
I'll see you later.
Smooth, brother.
Silky smooth.
No more cancellations without
erasing it on the court sheet, okay?
Lingo, we lost three hours
of court time last week.
No more cell phones on
the court. It's unprofessional.
Oh, look, everybody,
it's Turner.
I know that guy.
What, tournament? Strip club.
Thank you
for joining us.
Guys, we have got
to get here on time.
All right, well, I think that's
everything. Any questions?
Good questions? Yeah, sure,
I got some.
Uh, we just got the
annual invite to the BCCC?
The what? Boat Club Combo Cup.
They want to know by
tomorrow if we're in or out.
Okay, next. Thought you all
should know.
All right, well, if
that's everything then--
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
back the truck up.
Why don't you guys
play in the Combo Cup?
Combo Cup?
You mean you enjoy
getting your ass kicked?
What's the point of having
a team if you don't compete?
What team?
Okay, everybody, get
on the court. Let's go.
Good idea.
Hey, Match.
Turner. I've been
following you for years, man.
You're the reason
I picked up a racket. Thanks, man.
Yeah, man, I saw how
much tail you were getting.
I was like
I got to do that.
You're the man.
Hey, Match, who you got?
I got a Belcher
at ten.
O.C.D.
What kind
of name is O.C.D?
You'll see. He'll be here in a minute.
He always comes in four minutes late.
Good luck.
Hey, you must be Scott.
Scott Emerson Belcher.
Nice to meet you.
Owen Match.
Oh, no.
What's wrong?
Shoe's untied.
You want me
to tie it for you?
Huh, no, it won't work.
What do you want,
to fire me again, Charles?
And deprive that hot little
manager of yours the pleasure?
Don't you have a knob to
polish or something, Chuck?
Don't you worry. All
my knobs are polished.
What? Me and the guys
were thinking,
now that you're settled
in to the Dirty Club,
might be time for a good
old fashion throw-down.
That is, if you think
you can handle it.
Hello?
Where and when?
Oriental House,
high noon.
It's on.
Hey, Turner. Fountain Club just called and challenged us to a throw-down.
You think any of these
guys will be up for it?
I got this.
Hey, hey,
do me a favor.
Don't tell Coach.
Don't worry
about it, brother.
How we doing?
Turner, are you hungry? I'm always hungry.
Dead Arm, what is this, a rodeo?
TBD, dude, TBD.
You think they'll show?
I'll bet
they don't show.
Why are you
so quiet, Charles?
I don't know, Dina.
Can't quite put
my finger on it.
When I'm so jacked up,
I don't know,
I swear I could eat shit out of
these two tennis balls right here.
I bet you could,
too, Charles.
You know?
Just try to beat
those sons of bitches.
Oh, it's on.
So on.
It's not too late
to pull out.
It's not what your
mom said last night.
On New Year. Look, Match.
You're going to fire me again,
Charles? You fired me twice.
One more time, and I'm going to start thinking
you've got a non-sexual man crush on me.
Hell, yeah.
It's on.
It's on. It's so on.
It's so on.
Mu Shu tofu.
I'll take it.
Fried rice.
Chicken on a stick.
Hard boiled eggs.
Beets.
What--
Man.
Beets?
Go.
One, Derby Club.
Tie two-two.
Where is everybody?
Owen said something about a
throw-down with the Fountain Club.
Throw-down? I think
it's some sort of--
Yeah, I know what a damn
throw-down is. I practically invented it.
Why didn't
anybody tell me?
Atta boy, Charles.
Tough, man. It's all you, brother.
You got it. Yes.
Oh, you got him
now, Charles.
Come on.
It's up to you, Owen.
Come on, man.
You can't do it, can you? Don't listen to him, brother.
You can't. You got this. Eat it.
Come on.
You can't do it,
can you?
Fountain Club, winner.
Yes. Oh, man.
Well, well, well.
The tie.
Have fun.
We'll see about that
at Combo Cup.
Say that again? Combo Cup.
You can't be serious. Oh, I'm serious.
Oh, shit.
Oh, hell, yeah.
Well, then.
I guess it's on.
It's on.
Oh, it's on.
Dude, you all right?
Dude, did you try
to lay a deuce?
Lingo can't have
a BM and a PR.
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go.
Oh.
What were you thinking
in there, man?
Combo Cup?
I was emotional.
Be real, dude. Man, we can't
even win an eating contest.
Coach is on his way.
You called Coach?
He's in a bad mood, too.
Taxi, taxi.
Get in the van.
I think Lingo
might puke.
Carlos, hit the window.
Now open.
What's up
with the coach, Coach?
You kiss my fat
mushy ass, Turner.
Dude, I think he's having contractions.
Stop the car.
Stop the car.
Coach, I think
you better stop the car.
Oh, no, no. I got a
lesson in 20 minutes.
No, seriously, I haven't been
late for a lesson in 30 years.
You guys just don't take
the profession seriously.
Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Open the door.
Oh.
You guys
don't look too good.
I just ate 47 chickens on a
stick. What do you expect?
And you lost?
My op had 50.
End of story.
What's up with that?
Judge Simms pays him six
an hour to ball boy for him.
Calls him chips
and queso.
That's wrong. Yeah, no kidding.
Well, O.C.D
is not so bad.
Could pair him with one
of us in the pro-am match.
What?
The Combo Cup. There's a
pro and amateur's double match.
Owen, Combo Cup
isn't happening, okay?
At least not
for us anyway. The idea is--
We can't back out now.
Of course we can.
No.
That's just what Charles
expects me to do.
Hey, Lingo, is it true that
you, uh, deuced in your pants?
Fried rice just went
right through me.
Next time you'll take his place.
Oh, dude, get that away from me.
Hey, Coach. Do you mind?
Ah. BBC.
My grandma drinks BBC.
Hm, it's nice.
Sherry said that it was
your idea to hire me.
Look at the thanks I get.
How many Chinese buffets
did we hit back in the day?
A lot.Mm-hm.
You know I like eating
me some Chinese, bubby.
This isn't about
the throw-down, Coach.
We both know that.
Yeah.
Ten years.
We were a team,
bubby. Ten years.
You dropped me
for Jefferson Bates.
Jackwipe.
Coach, you can't take it
personally. I just needed a change.
Jefferson Bates,
the man's a walking dildo.
You made me
so nervous.
Nervous means
it matters.
I had nightmares
about you, Coach, okay? Me, too.
You did? What are we
talking about here?
I wanted to quit,
Coach. Every day.
But you didn't.Because you
wouldn't let me.
Oh, I didn't make you. You
showed up on your own, bubby.
Do me a favor
and not call me bubby.
What am I supposed
to call you? Game Set?
I'd settle for Owen.
Are you living
in your van, Coach?
Don't judge me.
It's temporary.
Thought you
didn't play tennis.
I don't.
I suck.
Let me see you
serve another one.
Hey, your grip is good.
Yeah, I switched it.
I haven't been able
to hit straight since.
Yeah, well,
that's normal.
How long ago
did you switch it?
A few years ago.
Is that normal?
No. No, Jake,
that's not normal.
My dad told me if I ever wanted
a real serve, I should switch it.
He's a pro?
In Orlando.
Serve another one.
Not like that.
Look, first of all your
stance is way too open.
There you go.
In for the net post.
Do it again.
No, it's not
going to work.
What are you doing, Owen?
I'm evaluating
your serve.
Can you at least
let me hit the ball?
Yes.
All my serves
go over there.
Well, okay.
Watch me.
See?
I can't do that.
Look, you don't
even need this.
Watch me.
Got to get extended.
Okay, Jake,
let's go.
Got to go. All right, see you.
I'll pick them up.
I'll meet you
at the car.
Goodnight, Owen.
See you.
What are you doing?
Helping Jake
with his serve.
Why?
Have you seen it?
I mean, why are you fixing
Jake's serve? Did he ask you to?
No. It's what I do.
There a problem?
No.
I guess not.
Goodnight.
You know,
I'm on to you.
On to me?
Yeah, I mean, your only
kid's spiraling out of control
and you last shot
of getting him back
just to lure some poor innocent
unemployed but striking tennis pro
into helping him?
No, I'm not
your pawn, lady.
I'm not your pawn.
You're as nuts
as Coach.
Goodnight, Owen.
Come on
get after it, buddy.
Let's go, Match,
get the lead out.
Ooh.
Sorry about that.
About what?
Never mind.
Nice whites.
Oh, thanks.
Dude still got
some game.
Dead Arm said he lost 50
grand betting against himself.
Try 100.
What? Wow.
Lost his sponsors, his
endorsements, everything.
Water break.
He's good.
He's lazy,
but he's good.
Hell, yeah,
he's good.
A guy like Match ain't
going to be around for long.
Fellas, this is our one
chance to be good again.
I don't know about you all,
but I'm taking that chance.
If we ever have a shot
at Combo Cup, it's now.
Don't tell me you think
this is a good idea.
Seriously. I deuced my
shorts because of that, dude.
Yeah, don't forget
he's the reason we lost.
Hey, vamp. You suck
any blood last night?
You guys are little short
to be playing stormtroopers.
Yes, stormtroopers, they
fight with blasters, D-bag.
You like that?
Yeah, you like it?
Afterbirth.
Get out of here.
Hey, Jake.
Leave me alone.
Jake.
Are you ready
to go again?
No, I'm done.
Come on, you only
hit 12 balls, man.
Charles hits 12 balls before he
falls out of bed in the morning.
Twelve balls.
I guarantee you Charles is
going to hit more than 12 balls.
Hand, racket, now.
I'm, uh, I'm done
for the day, Coach.
You were done
a long time before today.
Kiss my ass.
What was that, bubby?
I said let's hit
some balls, Coach.
Baby, I got
to let you go.
Something about to
go down up in here.
Twenty-one patterns
till you puke.
Come on, run, Owen. Move your ass. Move it.
That's the best
you got?
Don't run a lot. I don't
like to-- I don't like to run.
Come on.
Hello. My name is Owen.
And I hit the ball
like a little girl.
Come on, child, run.
Come on, bubby.
Oh.
Jesus wept.
Coach killed him.
Oh, geez.
Oh, hell, no.
That was awesome.
What's up, Jake?
Heard you made out
with Coach.
Yeah, I've still got that icky
Dew sweaty taste in my mouth.
It's gross. Want
to hit some balls?
You didn't need
to do that this morning.
You need to learn to
stick up for yourself, man.
I don't need
a bodyguard.
Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.
But what you do need,
you need to smear those
jackwipes on the court.
I can't play
if I can't serve.
I can teach you
how to serve.
Well, if you let me.
I know it seems weird. What do you have to lose?
Who cares what you look like?
Forget about what you
look like, okay? Just try it.
Look, Coach was sucking my face
this afternoon. How stupid you can look?
Try it.
It's still weird. Oh!
Just--
You just sounded
like Coach.
Jake, will you do me a favor,
please? Will you just try?
You got the craziest
curve on your serve
I've ever seen in the
history of the sport.
Just try it.
Desperate times. Thank you.
It's weird.
It worked.
Oh, my God.
See? See? Do it
again. Do it again.
It worked.
Ooh, let's see,
it's 8:45.
Owen is either late for
8:30 or early for his 9:00.
If you were late, you'd be walking around with my shoe up your ass.
Oh, so you're good
with your feet, huh?
You need
something, Owen?
You know, I fixed Jake's
serve. Did he tell you?
No, Jake doesn't tell me anything.
You know how teenagers are.
Because I act like one? You said it, not me.
He's improved a lot.
He just needs
more self-confidence.
He has seemed
different lately.
Well, I have
that effect on people.
I've noticed. Really?
Yeah, I saw Dead Arm
wearing tennis weights,
and Turner actually
showed up today on time.
Maybe you've just been slipping something in their Dews.
Ooh, we don't, we don't
touch each other's Dews.
Well, whatever it is,
keep it up.
You know what? I
think you're right, Sherry.
We should
discuss this further.
Say Friday, 8:00? What? No.
Dinner. Owen, you're not
taking me to dinner.
Oh, see, I was, I was thinking
that you would take me to dinner.
What? No.Okay, fine,
I'll take you to dinner.
No. Why not?
Because you're
a tennis pro.
Okay, fine, look,
I'll-I'll quit tennis.
I'll be a male model.
How about
we call it a meeting?
Okay, will there be food
at this meeting?
There will be dinner, but I will
buy mine and you will buy yours.
Sweet. A meeting, Owen.
Got you.
A meeting.
'Cause you know what? I
don't date club managers.
Oh, tic-tic-tic.
My bad.
My bad. Sorry.
My bad. Sorry. What are you doing?
Trying to get a ball in your kitchen.
You see, an
unfocused tennis player
is a losing
tennis player.
Don't worry about what I do.
Don't let me up in that kitchen.
Ah.
Wow.
Exactly.
Hey.
Did you really bet 100
grand against yourself?
Who told you that?
Mom.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I did.
And I went on
to win the match,
if you can believe that.
Why didn't you just
throw the game?
'Cause I was treeing.
Treeing? Yeah.
It's when you, uh,
it's when you can't
lose, you know.
You play the game
of your life.
I couldn't lose even if I tried.
That's stupid.
Yeah, it is. It is
really, really stupid.
How about
we hit the showers?
Got a date
with your mom tonight.
Mom says
it's a meeting.
Well, she knows
what it is.
You have no idea what I'm up against.
Memberships down, I've got 40
directors breathing down my neck.
When Fountain Club won Combo
Cup last year, membership doubled.
And last month--
Doubled? In a month.
Last month we had to
fix the net with duct tape.
Duct tape is strong.
All the other teams they're going to have uniforms.
Who cares about uniforms? You cares about any of it?
They do.
I do.
We need this. And
I think you do, too.
Me? Mm-hm.
Don't you like
the wind?
I don't even remember
what that feels like.
Thank you.
I got it.
No.I got it.
Oh, okay, well.
Look, you bought me dinner. The
least you can do is come by my place.
Owen. I make
a mean cappuccino.
No.
All right.
What, you're not used to anybody rejecting you?
Actually, this feels
pretty nice.
Thank you.
I'll write it off.
It's a business meeting.
No, I mean, thank
you for hiring me.
I, uh, I didn't know
where I was going to go.
Everybody gets
a second serve.
Okay.
Okay, uh, to come
back to my place?
No.
Okay, the Combo Cup.
Awesome. I'm already
regretting this.
And I want Jake
to play.
Jake. But does
he even know this?
No.
I've been waiting for
the right time to ask him.
Okay, but just don't
wait too long 'cause he,
he has a history of quitting things and--
I think this actually, this
could be really great for him.
Do I have permission to break
his legs if he tries to back out?
You get one,
I get the other.
All right, guys,
listen up.
If we're going to have a
chance of beating Fountain Club,
we really got to get serious
about Combo Cup, okay?
Got to start practicing,
especially me.
This year
has five divisions,
and I already have an idea who I
want to put in the junior mixed doubles.
I got that. That's
T-Cubed and Ray-Ray.
No, those jackwipes suck.
I got this, okay?
Just let me
figure that out.
All right, next we got
the tag team triples.
What the hell's that? A menage a trois?
Three way.Pervs.
That's three pros, one
match tagging in and out.
Oh, kind of like WWF.
Exactly like WWF,
only it's totally different.
Okay, uh, me, airhead, and Spanish fly here got that.
Airhead.
That's awesome.
Next we got
doubles pro-amats.
That's one of us pros
with an amateur.
Dead Arm, I want you
on the court with O.C.D.
Yeah, but my arm. Who's O.C.D?
That arm didn't keep you from kicking
their ass at the throw-down, right?
I'm more worried about O.C.D. who's got issues.
No offense.
Wait, I'm O.C.D.?
Awesome.
I'm not so sure about this
year is the wild card division.
It's a women's
team match.
Anything?
Dematti girls.
Oh, shit, yeah.
Yeah, yes.
Who are
the Dematti girls?
They're dancers.
They're hot as hell.
Dancers, like ballet?
Like exotic.
The Shivers.
They've got a team.
Are they any good? At tennis?
Oh, I say we pay them a visit.
I'll drive. Coach, Coach,
hold on.
I got this.
What about you, Owen? I think we all know
who I'll be up against.
Charles here.
Chuck, it's me.
Oh, the chicken choker.
Cut the shit.
We're on for the BCCC.
The what? The Combo Cup, dick.
Wow. Looks like your third testicle finally dropped.
I'm not the one with
three testicles, Charles.
You'd have the--
Listen, it's you
and me on the clay.
Oh, it's on, Match. Game set!
You'd better bring
your purse.
Double make
or game set.
That's good.
Here we go.
Yeah.
There you go.
Wow, looks like you're ready
for a little competition.
What do you mean?
I mean it's time for you and
Emily take on these two jackwipes.
T-Cubed and Ray-Ray.
Emily?
She won't play
on my team.
Yeah, yeah. She said she
loved to when I asked her.
You asked her?
Why would you do that?
Because I need you two
to be ready for Combo Cup.
Oh, Combo Cup.
No.Jake, come on, you need
to let your balls drop.
You know, that's easy for
you to say since you're a pro.
Look, not all teaching
pros are good players.
Turn around.
I'd be too nervous
to play.
Okay, I get that.
I totally get that.
Okay, I'm going to
tell you a little secret.
I knew
you were gay.
What?
Not--
It's funny.
I--look,
I write poetry.
But and you think
you're straight.
I'm serious. I'm
serious I write--
I write
a lot of poetry. No way.
Yeah, and I've always been,
been too nervous to show anybody.
Okay, but what does this
have to do with anything?
Jake, it has everything
to do with everything.
It has to do with you not
being a turtle anymore.
I don't know, Owen. Jake, Jake,
Jake, Jake, Jake.
Hey.
You can do this.
Really?
Poetry?
Don't tell
anybody that.
I won't,
I won't.
At least I don't dress
like a vampire.
Okay, Shakespeare.
Why did you hire Coach?
He needed a job.
You didn't needed
a part time pro.
Everybody gets
a second serve.
You're like one of those places
that takes in the lost puppies.
I'm a pushover, I know.
Hard shell,
soft center.
Not too hard I hope.
I imitated him
the other day.
Who?
Coach.
Oh, yeah,
everybody does that.
Yeah, but
they're meaning to.
I just did.
It just came out.
So?
So I think that I
may be more fatal.
Into Coach.
Do you know that
he lives in his van?
Yeah.
Owen.
You are not Coach.
Not yet.
Thank you.
You know, I know it's not much,
but while the place in
Nantucket is being finished,
it'll have to do.
I run a public
recreation center, Owen.
Money does not
impress me.
That's good.
Thank you for working with Jake.
He's a good kid.
He'll accept you
for some reason.
I'm taller.
Just barely.
You know he's got
the hots for somebody. Really? Who?
I can't tell you that. Oh, come on.
No, no, no. What is it
going to take?
Huh? You want a
part of my kingdom?
I have a ten-year-old
cat you can take, too.
I actually like cats.
I need to hit
the head.
Okay, sure.
What are you doing?
A River is Crossing by Owen Match. Stop. Give me that.
No, no, no. This is exactly
why I came over here.
No, yeah,
I knew it.
You're a spy.
Jake told you.
Jake mentioned nothing.
I swear.
Well, they're just
dumb poems.
Why do you think
they're dumb?
'Cause the only person
ever saw them told me so.
I think it's great
that you write. I do.
And actually
I have a friend.
An old college's
roommate.
She has a coffee house
on Bardstown.
And they have open
mic night on weekends.
You should
read them there.
College roommate.
Is she hot?
She's a lesbian.
Ah.Not that kind
of lesbian.
Oh.
You know, this sense
of humor of yours,
it's just
a defense mechanism.
Defense against evil in
general or just fascism?
You know, if you don't take anything
seriously, then nothing can hurt you.
You take everything seriously,
everything will hurt you.
What does that mean? I have no idea.
You have a sickness.
Hey, baby,
did you miss me?
Oh, shit.
What's the date?
What, it's the 27th.
What? Oh, God.
We got
the whole week.
Hello.Oh.
Owen?
Ah, Sherry,
um, this is Cindy.
Oh, I get it.
And she's hot.Oh.
I get it.
I'll let myself out. Sherry, listen to me.
Of course. This is exactly
how it would turn out.
Sherry, Sherry. I don't know
why I thought--
Sherry.
Goodbye, Owen. Sherry, please,
don't go.
Want me to call
one of my girlfriends?
How many of those
you had already?
About 11.
Remember when I used to talk to
you boys about Jean Paul Sartre?
Going to need something
a lot stronger than Dew
if we'regoing
to talk about Sartre.
What was that I told you
Sartre used to say?
Hell is other people?
No, I think that was
Mother Teresa.
No, he used to say, "Human being is defined by his actions."
Yeah, I know.
I get that.
I know I've done some
bad things in my life but--
I'm a-I'm a good guy, you know.
Those things
shouldn't define me.
You see that?
I had that for 47 years.
It fades during the winter
but it never goes away.
Not entirely.
I got them all over.
I tried to scrub
mine off last night.
Sure.
You push it forward.
Been pumping spheres
for 20 years.
Got no health insurance. On
top of which all the kids you taught
probably turned out more
successful than you did.
Coach, you trying
to make me jump?
You had a notion once upon a time of maybe going into something else,
but you never finish college,
so you figure, I'll teach tennis.
That's how it starts. You
get seduced by the schedule.
You get to work with all these
pretty ladies wearing short skirts.
You sleep late. Get to bronze your body in the sun.
Get the ball rolling
for skin cancer.
Coach. Let's face it, Owen. You're a lifer.
You passed that point
of no return.
Because what happens
to every tennis pro
that tries to make it out
there in the real world?
They always come back. They always come back.
We're institutionalized. Besides, we don't know how to do anything.
I was like you once, Owen.
And I thought
there was this big ship was just
going to... come through the fog
and give meaning
to my job.
You were that ship
for me, Owen.
I'm sorry
I let you down.
Who said
you let me down?
Owen erased his name
off of all of the court sheets.
He called in sick.
He's on the roof
with Coach.
Good.
Maybe he'll jump.
Mom, he fixed
my serve.
Don't jump, Owen. Don't do it, man.
We're all losers, man.
We need you, man.
Come on down.
Don't jump.
I-I love you.
Owen?
My office now.
And put on a shirt.
Hey, Owen, do you have
an extra Dew?
Yeah.
Next time
you call in sick,
don't show up on our roof or
I'm calling the Fire Department.
I know how-- Owen, please, don't.
I just added it
to my list of bad dates.
It was over before it
started. End of story.
She means
nothing to me.
Is that supposed
to make me feel better?
Just let me explain. Owen, forget it.
Really, it's over.
And I really appreciate what
you've been doing with Jake,
but I don't think that's
a good idea anymore.
He's got
a practice match tonight.
He can play tonight,
but after that I--
What about Combo Cup?
I don't think that Combo Cup is
a good idea for Jake or the club.
Sherry, you're kidding. I don't think it's right
that you use my staff
to settle some personal
score with Charles.
It's not fair.
Bullshit, Sherry, okay? Don't
punish these guys for my mistakes.
It wasn't your mistake.
It was mine.
Hey, where's Jake?
He went to the bathroom
about ten minutes ago.
He hasn't
come back, yet.
Yeah, vamp's too chicken
to play us a practice match.
Shut up.
Warm up with these A-holes.
Now I'll get Jake.
Jake?
Jake.
Jake. Leave me alone.
Thought we had
a deal, man.
What deal?
You grow a pair, and play these jackwipes.
It sounds like a
one-sided deal to me.
Look, Jake,
I know
that you're lost
in the fog,
but I can be your lighthouse
that brings you to shore.
What are you
talking about?
I don't--
I don't know.
Just-just come out and play.
I'm too nervous.
Nervous is good. Nervous means it matters.
You are never nervous? I'm nervous all the time, Jake.
Look, in fact,
I'll make you a deal.
If you come out
and play these guys,
I'll go read my poetry at that
cafe your mom's friend runs.
You'd do that?
Yeah. Yeah, but you got to be
there and you got to bring your mom.
You can't tell her
that I told you.
We got a deal?
Did they call me "vamp"?
Yeah, they
called you "vamp".
If they're going to call you
"vamp", then be a vampire.
Play like a vampire. Make
vampire noises and shit, man.
I'm serious. Got to get your game face on.
Lestat.
I can be Lestat.
What?
A character
in the book.
I am Lestat.
So, is it on?
It's so on.
All right.
Nobody in the kitchen. Don't
let anybody in the kitchen.
Great.
Yeah, Jake.
Woo!
Jake.
I thought
I was dreaming.
Man, Emily, she really got
into that whole vampire thing.
Yeah, she takes
acting at school.
You were like
a different person.
You should vamp
it up more often.
I think
I was treeing.
Feels good to win,
doesn't it?
Well, when I was out there, I
wasn't thinking about winning.
You know?
It was just cool.
You should be proud.
Today was the
best day of my life.
It's time to go.
Later.
Did you see that, Mom?
Yeah, you're a regular
Djokovic out there.
It felt
amazing.
"I am alone.
"We are alone.
"You are alone.
"So alone.
"I drift, midriff.
"Nift.
Alone, so alone."
I knew this smelled
of tennis pro.
Come on, Mom.
He fixed my serve.
"We are alone.
I'm alone."
Thank you.
It's not better than the
last one, then we're leaving.
All right, Owen.
Woo!
I'm, um, my name
is Owen Match.
It's on.
Um, I've never read any of
my poems out loud before, so.
It's the first time.
This poem is called
Second Serve.
"A fine line marks day
from night, dark from light.
"A-a thin line separating
hidden from seeing,
"an edge too clean to
bear encroachment or fault.
"A lifetime of labor and
play in courts of clay,
"gashed with nets,
thin, white edges.
"Love is pointless,
"only in this game.
"Off courts,
love is all.
"Flesh and bone and heart
beyond games lost in one.
"Not to miss
the mark this time.
"A new line.
"My second serve
is ours."
Hey, uh--
I just wanted to thank
you guys for coming.
I got to say, I enjoyed the
hell out of seeing you nervous.
Yeah, about needed
to change my boxers.
I'll see you tomorrow.
So, uh,
what did you think
about the poem?
It wasn't stupid.
Thanks.
I should say, I thought
it was really nice.
Look, I'm sorry
about Cindy.
I... totally forgot
to tell her that--
You forgot
to tell her what?
That I like
somebody else.
Coach told me that you
tried to rub off your tan lines.
No.
Yes.
I did.
It was an out-of-body
experience.
So, what do you say?
About what?
About--
About everything.
About us.
About Combo Cup.
God, why is it so hard
to stay mad at you?
'Cause you
barely know me.Yeah.
Okay.
Okay what?
Okay to...
all of it, Owen.
Really?
So, it's on?
It's what I said.
No, no. You said
it's-- You said okay.
Is it... on?
Oh.
Oh, right, oh.
It's on.
See? That wasn't
so hard, was it?
No.
Goodnight, Owen.
Goodnight.
You know, we got a chance
to get something here today
that most of us have
never really had before.
And that's respect.
You know, they may
have more talent than us.
More experience. You
know they have more money.
But what we have
that they don't have,
heart.
And intensity.
And tenacity.
And we got a whole lot
more determination than them.
And plus,
we got strippers.
Let's embrace
our dysfunction.
And let's get out there
and get all up
in somebody's kitchen.
Welcome to the 13th
Annual Combo Cup.
Hosted by
the Louisville Boat Club.
Today's first round match pitched
defending champs, the Fountain Club
against the Derby City
Recreation Center.
Remember what
we talked about.
Lots of fangs,
lots of fun.
Right?
There you go.
All matches will be
one pro set to eight.
Kicking things off today, a
junior mixed doubles match.
Watch out, seniors.
Here comes the future.
Here we go.
Combo Cup.
Ah.
Give them the slice.
And Derby City
takes a 1-0 lead
in this best
of five battle.
Next up, the tag
team triples match.
Each team offers up three
pros who tag in and out.
What are you doing? What
are you doing? Get off the court.
Only two men on
the court at this time.
Yes.
Yeah.
Lingo.Yes.
All right,
all right.
Take the racket, dude.
Oh.
With two matches down,
it's a tied score.
All right, guys.
One-one.
Next stop, it's the
pro-am doubles match.
Featuring one pro
and one amateur.
Serve the ball,
Rain Man.
Quiet, please.
That's brilliant.
Keep it up.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Hey, O.C.D.
Check it out, man.
That puts Derby City ahead
of our defending champs.
Two to one.
It's a hot day
in Louisville.
But it's about to get
a lot hotter up in here
as we bring out
a crowd favorite.
A wild card
ladies' match.
Players rotate
in and out,
and all women
must play.
Quiet, please.
I don't think I've ever seen tennis this bad look this good.
Oh, we got a problem.
Misty fell off her heel
and sprained her ankle.
Oh, no, really?
Go easy on them. They're not
used to playing with their clothes on.
I got this.
Yeah.
Misty.
Derby City's throwing a
curveball into the game.
Looks like club manager, Sherry
Milton, is going to hit the clay.
Yeah.
Ouch. Nice steer there
for the green team.
But under article 58-B, that's
an automatic disqualification,
which makes
everything even again.
Two-two.
We both tagged her.
After a short break, the final
round we've all been waiting for.
Pro versus pro.
How are you doing, kid?
I feel like I'm going
to have diarrhea.
Yeah, you'll do fine,
bubby. I mean, Owen.
I'll see you
after the match.
You're not going, you're
not going to watch?
I thought I'd sit
this one out.
I don't want
to make you nervous.
Nervous means
it matters.
Good luck.
Hey.
You're a good coach.
It's a battle straight
out of tennis lore.
Owen Match versus
Charles Peter Hausen III.
Charles.
Why don't you do
the honors, Owen?
"P" or "D"?
"P".
Good luck.
Ah.
Oh.
You should've played
like that
when you werebetting
against yourself, Match.
Oh.Are you all right?
I don't know.
Do you want these?
Get all up
in his kitchen.
Yeah.
Okay.
Woo!
Let's go.
What are you--
Time out, time out, time out.
Oh.
What are you doing? All right.
This is how
it's going to be?
I don't know what's wrong with me today, Charles.
Ah.
Way out.
If you were like 12 feet back. and a little bit to the right,
that would have been right in.
All up
in his kitchen.
Ah.
You cannot
be serious.
They're looking on.
Ah.
Thirty-forty. Match point.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
You going
to serve this today?
Oh.
And we have a winner.
Charles Peter Hausen III.
Reigning champions
the Fountain Club
will advance
to the next round.
That's the way
it's done.
See that?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You kicked ass, Owen.
Good game. Next time.
Give me five, buddy.
All up in the kitchen, brother.
I was trying to.
O.C.D., my man.
You got
a game out there.
Yeah, you know, well, I
shagged a few balls in my life.
I'm not touching that.Yeah.
Owen, you know,
I haven't filled
your spot at the club.
I'd like you
to come back.
Well, thanks, Charles. I,
uh, I think I found my spot.
Sorry about your nose.
Good game.
"Game Set."
Coach, Coach, Coach.
Do you have
any SPF 30?
These ultraviolets
are freaking killing me.
How you feel
out there?
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
I'm thinking
I love you
But I'm not sure
You seem to have
Shown up at my door
And it's wide open
In front of me
Outside
The grass is greener
Than it's been in years
Or so it seems
That this could be
A perfect
Beautiful day
Beautiful day
Oh I wonder
How the clowns
Make those designs
And look
That one is you
Another there
That one is me
That's what I see
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
In the afternoon
Oh this sinful bloom
The sun feels good
On my skin
With the perfect sky
Sunlight in our eyes
Running straight
Into the wind
I know I love you
That's for sure
What amazes me
Now even more
Is not your love
All of my inadequacies
Outside
Shining at high noon
Is the perfect sphere
Of a whole full moon
Like it is Just
waiting On her spoon
This has been a lovely
Perfect beautiful
Been a lovely
Perfect beautiful
Been a lovely
Perfect beautiful day
Beautiful day
Pa on the fiddle
Ma on the porch
Me in the middle
Boys out back
Fish in the river
Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver
One fine day
Pa on the fiddle
Ma on the porch
Me in the middle
Boys out back
Fish in the river
Sis in the hills
With a bow and a quiver
One fine day
Pa on the fiddle
Singing a song
A laugh is a riddle
Goes too fast
Goes too far
Never look back
Don't think where you are
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Easy
Shit.
Owen.
Pink's plane landed
five minutes ago.
Mm.You were supposed
to wake me up.
What are you doing?
You're going to be late for
your first day at the Dirty Club.
Derby Club.
What did you say?
You're mumbling.
Derby Club. Oh, whatever.
Have you seen that place? I bet they
don't even have indoor courts, do they?
Do they, Owen?
Owen, I'm talking
to you.
Owen!
Ouch.
Ouch.
What are you doing?
Well, if you'd listen.
"Former tennis star publishes
poems in the Courier."
Lofty, Owen, lofty.
Robert Frost
played tennis.
Owen, baby, you
are good at two things.
Poetry isn't one of them.
Pink's out of town
again on the 27th.
See you
in a few weeks.
I took
A little ride
On the subway
Opened my eyes
I make a poor boy shiver
Easy
Easy
Easy
Ice?
Straight up.
Ah.
Owen.
What happened to you?
You used to whip
my ass at everything.
Juniors, the tour. Now you can't even work for me.
Charles, I just came by to get my
check and clean out my locker, so...
You were the best.
Sponsors, fans.
Charisma.
But you just couldn't stay away from the bookies, could you, Owen?
So you going to mail me a check or are we
going to have some sort of a transaction?
Sleeping with
the members' wives.
The towel girl.
Giving lessons outside the club.
And then there was that incident with the Pee Wees last month.
Trevor started it. He is seven.
You called him
a jackwipe. He is a jackwipe.
You leave me no choice here.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.
You already fired me
Monday, Charles, okay?
Am I going to get my
damn check or not?
I gave you a chance,
and you pissed it
all away.
The Dew was flat.
I bought it yesterday.
Got a bad one, Chuck.
Heard you took a job
at the Derby Club.
Such a sad fall
for Mr. Match.
It's game set.
Excuse me?
You remember.
Game set match.
Oh, how the mighty
have fallen.
It is a very,
very sad day.
Have fun
at the Dirty Club.
Eat my balls, boys.Hey.
It's on, Match.
It's so oh.
It's game set.
You're Owen Match.
Yeah, that's me. Who are you?
I'm Jake.
Hey, Jake.
Do you know Sherry?
Yeah.
She's the manager.
Right, she's the one that hired me,
but I've only talked to her on the phone.
What happened
to your nose?
Oh, high heel pump.
Jake, have you heard from Turner?
No.Find him.
You're late. You must be Sherry.
I don't like tardiness. What do you
like, Sherry?
I like people who show
up to work on time, Owen.
Could you call me Game? Do you know how
to read a court sheet?
Yeah, yeah, I am skilled at
the art of court sheet reading.
Good. This shows you who's
on the court for the entire day.
Clinics, lessons, walk-ons,
per minute court times.
You fill out your lessons
in the pro book,
and Jake will put them
on the court sheet.
If your name's
on the court sheet--
Owen. If your name's
on the court sheet,
your butt's on the
court, you got it?
Yeah. Court sheet,
important. Got it.
You're not going to get some
fountain club-type in here.
Just the basics and then you
will learn the system as you go.
Jake here will give
you a quick tour,
and then I expect you
to dive right in.
Any luck?
Straight
to voice mail. Keep trying.
And when you do find him, tell him
to not bother coming in tomorrow.
Damn.
You should see her when she
gets out of bed in the morning.
Dude.
She's my mom.
My bad.
Is she serious about
firing that guy Turner?
She like fired him
like six times already.
I got fired twice
this week.
She's got four
full-time pros.
You'll be
number five.
Uh, that's Roman.
He's from Boston.
Teaches at least
70 hours a week.
Came down with a case of dead
arm a couple of months back.
I had a buddy have
that once. Yikes.
He's been playing with
his wrong arm ever since.
He can beat that thing against the wall and not feel a thing.
Everyone calls him
Dead Arm.
That's Billy.
Goes by Lingo.
Been here
a few years.
Seems like
a lot longer.
You got to aim higher if
you're going to be a fuzzy baller.
Raging ADHD.
Non-funny.
And that's Carlos.
He's been here
a few months now.
He came from somewhere
out East.
Claims to have worked
with Nadal and Brad Leaver.
What he say?
Hell if I know.
What's up, man?
Blood sucker.
Come on, I'll show
you the locker room.
Hey, gents.
This is the staff locker room.
Don't mind the smell.
Owen Match.
Coach.
Get over here, bubby.
Ah.
Oh.You haven't been
avoiding me, have you?
Sit down there. Let
me take a look at you.
Sit down,
sit down.
Wow. I got to head back
to the shed.
Ah, bubby.
Got to say, you look
like death taking a shit.
Get my back, would you? My
arthritis is really flaring up again.
I thought you took a
job across the river.
Yeah.
I came back about
three months ago,
and was able to sweet talk
Sherry into this part time deal.
Thanks. Yeah, what's
the deal with her?
Sherry?
Oh, boy.
She'll bite your balls off
and serve them at tea.
That ass is tight though,
huh? Tight as a drum.
Check that out?
I know you did, boy.
Probably got harder
than Chinese algebra.
Of course you can't say
stuff like that anymore.
Now you got to be politically correct.
You can't compliment a woman.
You used to get your face slapped.
Now you get slapped with a lawsuit.
Know what
I'm talking about?
I didn't know
he worked here.
Part time. How did
you know Coach?
He was my coach for like ten years.
Pee Wee's through High School.
Cool.
No, not cool. It's not cool at all.
That man almost put me on
blood pressure medication.
I don't think this
is going to work, man.
Hold on a minute.
Derby C.
This is Jake.
Yo, Jake. Turner, where are you?
Yeah, brother, I don't think I'll be able to make it in today.
Who's my 10:00?Uh, it's... Emily.
Yeah, that ain't going to happen.
What do I tell
my mom? Tell her--
Tell her I'm coming
down with something.
Okay, but--
Look, Jake-- Shit.
Hi, Jake.
I'm here for my 10:00 with Turner.
Who?
Emily. Hi, Sherry.
Let me guess.
Turner.
Emily, why don't go and
warm up on court three?
Okay.
See you later, Jake. I'll see--
Sherry, we need to talk. Yeah, that's going to have to wait.
Right now, I really need
you to make yourself useful
and go hit with that girl that
Turner just blew off. Okay? Thanks.
Jake.
Ooh-hoo.
You okay?
Ye-yeah. Good, come introduce me
to your girlfriend.
She's not
my girlfriend. You want her to be?
Emily.
Hay, Jake.
Hey, Emily.
I'm Owen.
I'll be subbing
for Turner today.
So, uh, let's see
what you got.
Jesus.
All right, okay.
That's good. Ease up.
You want to get
your racket back
before it even bounces,
okay? You're rushing it.
Here we go.
Here you go again.
Ooh, okay.
All right, loosen up
with your grip.
All right?
Loosen your grip.
Oh.
My insurance
kicked in, yet?
You sure you don't
want to go to the hospital?
I got some quaaludes
in my bag.
Just keep it iced.
You'll be fine.
You'll feel better
tomorrow.
Yeah, listen, Sherry,
about tomorrow, um--
Look, I really appreciate
this job and all but, um--
Don't thank me.
Thank Coach.
He's the one who
suggested I call you.
Coach? Yeah, against my better
judgment I might add.
What?
It's all over town why you got
fired from the Fountain Club.
Hold on there. Coach
told you to hire me?
Yeah, we lost a pro a couple
of weeks ago, so you got lucky.
You think you can
finish out the day?
Yeah, oh, yeah.
I'll be fine.
Okay. Stand up.
Next to the wall.
It's for the bulletin board.
Oh, that's a winner.
What's up, Jake?
Hey, nice jacket.
It's Emily's.
She left it yesterday.
She's coming down
to pick it up.
Oh, cool.
So you talked to her.
No, her mom called
my mom, you know.
Dude, what are you doing?
You had the perfect opportunity.
You could've
talked to her.
And said what?
Said, "Hey, you want to
go see a movie sometime?"
Maybe she doesn't
like movies.
Everybody likes movies,
Jake. Check it out.
Hey, Sherry, how about you and
I go check out a movie tonight?
Get on the court, Owen.
See?
You just
hit on my mom.
Yeah, that's, uh,
that's what I do.
Here she comes. Cool.
Ask her, ask her to
check some balls with you.
What? Play tennis.
I don't play tennis.
Hi, Jake.
Well--
Thanks.
Hey, Owen.Hey.
I'll see you later.
Smooth, brother.
Silky smooth.
No more cancellations without
erasing it on the court sheet, okay?
Lingo, we lost three hours
of court time last week.
No more cell phones on
the court. It's unprofessional.
Oh, look, everybody,
it's Turner.
I know that guy.
What, tournament? Strip club.
Thank you
for joining us.
Guys, we have got
to get here on time.
All right, well, I think that's
everything. Any questions?
Good questions? Yeah, sure,
I got some.
Uh, we just got the
annual invite to the BCCC?
The what? Boat Club Combo Cup.
They want to know by
tomorrow if we're in or out.
Okay, next. Thought you all
should know.
All right, well, if
that's everything then--
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
back the truck up.
Why don't you guys
play in the Combo Cup?
Combo Cup?
You mean you enjoy
getting your ass kicked?
What's the point of having
a team if you don't compete?
What team?
Okay, everybody, get
on the court. Let's go.
Good idea.
Hey, Match.
Turner. I've been
following you for years, man.
You're the reason
I picked up a racket. Thanks, man.
Yeah, man, I saw how
much tail you were getting.
I was like
I got to do that.
You're the man.
Hey, Match, who you got?
I got a Belcher
at ten.
O.C.D.
What kind
of name is O.C.D?
You'll see. He'll be here in a minute.
He always comes in four minutes late.
Good luck.
Hey, you must be Scott.
Scott Emerson Belcher.
Nice to meet you.
Owen Match.
Oh, no.
What's wrong?
Shoe's untied.
You want me
to tie it for you?
Huh, no, it won't work.
What do you want,
to fire me again, Charles?
And deprive that hot little
manager of yours the pleasure?
Don't you have a knob to
polish or something, Chuck?
Don't you worry. All
my knobs are polished.
What? Me and the guys
were thinking,
now that you're settled
in to the Dirty Club,
might be time for a good
old fashion throw-down.
That is, if you think
you can handle it.
Hello?
Where and when?
Oriental House,
high noon.
It's on.
Hey, Turner. Fountain Club just called and challenged us to a throw-down.
You think any of these
guys will be up for it?
I got this.
Hey, hey,
do me a favor.
Don't tell Coach.
Don't worry
about it, brother.
How we doing?
Turner, are you hungry? I'm always hungry.
Dead Arm, what is this, a rodeo?
TBD, dude, TBD.
You think they'll show?
I'll bet
they don't show.
Why are you
so quiet, Charles?
I don't know, Dina.
Can't quite put
my finger on it.
When I'm so jacked up,
I don't know,
I swear I could eat shit out of
these two tennis balls right here.
I bet you could,
too, Charles.
You know?
Just try to beat
those sons of bitches.
Oh, it's on.
So on.
It's not too late
to pull out.
It's not what your
mom said last night.
On New Year. Look, Match.
You're going to fire me again,
Charles? You fired me twice.
One more time, and I'm going to start thinking
you've got a non-sexual man crush on me.
Hell, yeah.
It's on.
It's on. It's so on.
It's so on.
Mu Shu tofu.
I'll take it.
Fried rice.
Chicken on a stick.
Hard boiled eggs.
Beets.
What--
Man.
Beets?
Go.
One, Derby Club.
Tie two-two.
Where is everybody?
Owen said something about a
throw-down with the Fountain Club.
Throw-down? I think
it's some sort of--
Yeah, I know what a damn
throw-down is. I practically invented it.
Why didn't
anybody tell me?
Atta boy, Charles.
Tough, man. It's all you, brother.
You got it. Yes.
Oh, you got him
now, Charles.
Come on.
It's up to you, Owen.
Come on, man.
You can't do it, can you? Don't listen to him, brother.
You can't. You got this. Eat it.
Come on.
You can't do it,
can you?
Fountain Club, winner.
Yes. Oh, man.
Well, well, well.
The tie.
Have fun.
We'll see about that
at Combo Cup.
Say that again? Combo Cup.
You can't be serious. Oh, I'm serious.
Oh, shit.
Oh, hell, yeah.
Well, then.
I guess it's on.
It's on.
Oh, it's on.
Dude, you all right?
Dude, did you try
to lay a deuce?
Lingo can't have
a BM and a PR.
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go.
Oh.
What were you thinking
in there, man?
Combo Cup?
I was emotional.
Be real, dude. Man, we can't
even win an eating contest.
Coach is on his way.
You called Coach?
He's in a bad mood, too.
Taxi, taxi.
Get in the van.
I think Lingo
might puke.
Carlos, hit the window.
Now open.
What's up
with the coach, Coach?
You kiss my fat
mushy ass, Turner.
Dude, I think he's having contractions.
Stop the car.
Stop the car.
Coach, I think
you better stop the car.
Oh, no, no. I got a
lesson in 20 minutes.
No, seriously, I haven't been
late for a lesson in 30 years.
You guys just don't take
the profession seriously.
Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Open the door.
Oh.
You guys
don't look too good.
I just ate 47 chickens on a
stick. What do you expect?
And you lost?
My op had 50.
End of story.
What's up with that?
Judge Simms pays him six
an hour to ball boy for him.
Calls him chips
and queso.
That's wrong. Yeah, no kidding.
Well, O.C.D
is not so bad.
Could pair him with one
of us in the pro-am match.
What?
The Combo Cup. There's a
pro and amateur's double match.
Owen, Combo Cup
isn't happening, okay?
At least not
for us anyway. The idea is--
We can't back out now.
Of course we can.
No.
That's just what Charles
expects me to do.
Hey, Lingo, is it true that
you, uh, deuced in your pants?
Fried rice just went
right through me.
Next time you'll take his place.
Oh, dude, get that away from me.
Hey, Coach. Do you mind?
Ah. BBC.
My grandma drinks BBC.
Hm, it's nice.
Sherry said that it was
your idea to hire me.
Look at the thanks I get.
How many Chinese buffets
did we hit back in the day?
A lot.Mm-hm.
You know I like eating
me some Chinese, bubby.
This isn't about
the throw-down, Coach.
We both know that.
Yeah.
Ten years.
We were a team,
bubby. Ten years.
You dropped me
for Jefferson Bates.
Jackwipe.
Coach, you can't take it
personally. I just needed a change.
Jefferson Bates,
the man's a walking dildo.
You made me
so nervous.
Nervous means
it matters.
I had nightmares
about you, Coach, okay? Me, too.
You did? What are we
talking about here?
I wanted to quit,
Coach. Every day.
But you didn't.Because you
wouldn't let me.
Oh, I didn't make you. You
showed up on your own, bubby.
Do me a favor
and not call me bubby.
What am I supposed
to call you? Game Set?
I'd settle for Owen.
Are you living
in your van, Coach?
Don't judge me.
It's temporary.
Thought you
didn't play tennis.
I don't.
I suck.
Let me see you
serve another one.
Hey, your grip is good.
Yeah, I switched it.
I haven't been able
to hit straight since.
Yeah, well,
that's normal.
How long ago
did you switch it?
A few years ago.
Is that normal?
No. No, Jake,
that's not normal.
My dad told me if I ever wanted
a real serve, I should switch it.
He's a pro?
In Orlando.
Serve another one.
Not like that.
Look, first of all your
stance is way too open.
There you go.
In for the net post.
Do it again.
No, it's not
going to work.
What are you doing, Owen?
I'm evaluating
your serve.
Can you at least
let me hit the ball?
Yes.
All my serves
go over there.
Well, okay.
Watch me.
See?
I can't do that.
Look, you don't
even need this.
Watch me.
Got to get extended.
Okay, Jake,
let's go.
Got to go. All right, see you.
I'll pick them up.
I'll meet you
at the car.
Goodnight, Owen.
See you.
What are you doing?
Helping Jake
with his serve.
Why?
Have you seen it?
I mean, why are you fixing
Jake's serve? Did he ask you to?
No. It's what I do.
There a problem?
No.
I guess not.
Goodnight.
You know,
I'm on to you.
On to me?
Yeah, I mean, your only
kid's spiraling out of control
and you last shot
of getting him back
just to lure some poor innocent
unemployed but striking tennis pro
into helping him?
No, I'm not
your pawn, lady.
I'm not your pawn.
You're as nuts
as Coach.
Goodnight, Owen.
Come on
get after it, buddy.
Let's go, Match,
get the lead out.
Ooh.
Sorry about that.
About what?
Never mind.
Nice whites.
Oh, thanks.
Dude still got
some game.
Dead Arm said he lost 50
grand betting against himself.
Try 100.
What? Wow.
Lost his sponsors, his
endorsements, everything.
Water break.
He's good.
He's lazy,
but he's good.
Hell, yeah,
he's good.
A guy like Match ain't
going to be around for long.
Fellas, this is our one
chance to be good again.
I don't know about you all,
but I'm taking that chance.
If we ever have a shot
at Combo Cup, it's now.
Don't tell me you think
this is a good idea.
Seriously. I deuced my
shorts because of that, dude.
Yeah, don't forget
he's the reason we lost.
Hey, vamp. You suck
any blood last night?
You guys are little short
to be playing stormtroopers.
Yes, stormtroopers, they
fight with blasters, D-bag.
You like that?
Yeah, you like it?
Afterbirth.
Get out of here.
Hey, Jake.
Leave me alone.
Jake.
Are you ready
to go again?
No, I'm done.
Come on, you only
hit 12 balls, man.
Charles hits 12 balls before he
falls out of bed in the morning.
Twelve balls.
I guarantee you Charles is
going to hit more than 12 balls.
Hand, racket, now.
I'm, uh, I'm done
for the day, Coach.
You were done
a long time before today.
Kiss my ass.
What was that, bubby?
I said let's hit
some balls, Coach.
Baby, I got
to let you go.
Something about to
go down up in here.
Twenty-one patterns
till you puke.
Come on, run, Owen. Move your ass. Move it.
That's the best
you got?
Don't run a lot. I don't
like to-- I don't like to run.
Come on.
Hello. My name is Owen.
And I hit the ball
like a little girl.
Come on, child, run.
Come on, bubby.
Oh.
Jesus wept.
Coach killed him.
Oh, geez.
Oh, hell, no.
That was awesome.
What's up, Jake?
Heard you made out
with Coach.
Yeah, I've still got that icky
Dew sweaty taste in my mouth.
It's gross. Want
to hit some balls?
You didn't need
to do that this morning.
You need to learn to
stick up for yourself, man.
I don't need
a bodyguard.
Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.
But what you do need,
you need to smear those
jackwipes on the court.
I can't play
if I can't serve.
I can teach you
how to serve.
Well, if you let me.
I know it seems weird. What do you have to lose?
Who cares what you look like?
Forget about what you
look like, okay? Just try it.
Look, Coach was sucking my face
this afternoon. How stupid you can look?
Try it.
It's still weird. Oh!
Just--
You just sounded
like Coach.
Jake, will you do me a favor,
please? Will you just try?
You got the craziest
curve on your serve
I've ever seen in the
history of the sport.
Just try it.
Desperate times. Thank you.
It's weird.
It worked.
Oh, my God.
See? See? Do it
again. Do it again.
It worked.
Ooh, let's see,
it's 8:45.
Owen is either late for
8:30 or early for his 9:00.
If you were late, you'd be walking around with my shoe up your ass.
Oh, so you're good
with your feet, huh?
You need
something, Owen?
You know, I fixed Jake's
serve. Did he tell you?
No, Jake doesn't tell me anything.
You know how teenagers are.
Because I act like one? You said it, not me.
He's improved a lot.
He just needs
more self-confidence.
He has seemed
different lately.
Well, I have
that effect on people.
I've noticed. Really?
Yeah, I saw Dead Arm
wearing tennis weights,
and Turner actually
showed up today on time.
Maybe you've just been slipping something in their Dews.
Ooh, we don't, we don't
touch each other's Dews.
Well, whatever it is,
keep it up.
You know what? I
think you're right, Sherry.
We should
discuss this further.
Say Friday, 8:00? What? No.
Dinner. Owen, you're not
taking me to dinner.
Oh, see, I was, I was thinking
that you would take me to dinner.
What? No.Okay, fine,
I'll take you to dinner.
No. Why not?
Because you're
a tennis pro.
Okay, fine, look,
I'll-I'll quit tennis.
I'll be a male model.
How about
we call it a meeting?
Okay, will there be food
at this meeting?
There will be dinner, but I will
buy mine and you will buy yours.
Sweet. A meeting, Owen.
Got you.
A meeting.
'Cause you know what? I
don't date club managers.
Oh, tic-tic-tic.
My bad.
My bad. Sorry.
My bad. Sorry. What are you doing?
Trying to get a ball in your kitchen.
You see, an
unfocused tennis player
is a losing
tennis player.
Don't worry about what I do.
Don't let me up in that kitchen.
Ah.
Wow.
Exactly.
Hey.
Did you really bet 100
grand against yourself?
Who told you that?
Mom.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I did.
And I went on
to win the match,
if you can believe that.
Why didn't you just
throw the game?
'Cause I was treeing.
Treeing? Yeah.
It's when you, uh,
it's when you can't
lose, you know.
You play the game
of your life.
I couldn't lose even if I tried.
That's stupid.
Yeah, it is. It is
really, really stupid.
How about
we hit the showers?
Got a date
with your mom tonight.
Mom says
it's a meeting.
Well, she knows
what it is.
You have no idea what I'm up against.
Memberships down, I've got 40
directors breathing down my neck.
When Fountain Club won Combo
Cup last year, membership doubled.
And last month--
Doubled? In a month.
Last month we had to
fix the net with duct tape.
Duct tape is strong.
All the other teams they're going to have uniforms.
Who cares about uniforms? You cares about any of it?
They do.
I do.
We need this. And
I think you do, too.
Me? Mm-hm.
Don't you like
the wind?
I don't even remember
what that feels like.
Thank you.
I got it.
No.I got it.
Oh, okay, well.
Look, you bought me dinner. The
least you can do is come by my place.
Owen. I make
a mean cappuccino.
No.
All right.
What, you're not used to anybody rejecting you?
Actually, this feels
pretty nice.
Thank you.
I'll write it off.
It's a business meeting.
No, I mean, thank
you for hiring me.
I, uh, I didn't know
where I was going to go.
Everybody gets
a second serve.
Okay.
Okay, uh, to come
back to my place?
No.
Okay, the Combo Cup.
Awesome. I'm already
regretting this.
And I want Jake
to play.
Jake. But does
he even know this?
No.
I've been waiting for
the right time to ask him.
Okay, but just don't
wait too long 'cause he,
he has a history of quitting things and--
I think this actually, this
could be really great for him.
Do I have permission to break
his legs if he tries to back out?
You get one,
I get the other.
All right, guys,
listen up.
If we're going to have a
chance of beating Fountain Club,
we really got to get serious
about Combo Cup, okay?
Got to start practicing,
especially me.
This year
has five divisions,
and I already have an idea who I
want to put in the junior mixed doubles.
I got that. That's
T-Cubed and Ray-Ray.
No, those jackwipes suck.
I got this, okay?
Just let me
figure that out.
All right, next we got
the tag team triples.
What the hell's that? A menage a trois?
Three way.Pervs.
That's three pros, one
match tagging in and out.
Oh, kind of like WWF.
Exactly like WWF,
only it's totally different.
Okay, uh, me, airhead, and Spanish fly here got that.
Airhead.
That's awesome.
Next we got
doubles pro-amats.
That's one of us pros
with an amateur.
Dead Arm, I want you
on the court with O.C.D.
Yeah, but my arm. Who's O.C.D?
That arm didn't keep you from kicking
their ass at the throw-down, right?
I'm more worried about O.C.D. who's got issues.
No offense.
Wait, I'm O.C.D.?
Awesome.
I'm not so sure about this
year is the wild card division.
It's a women's
team match.
Anything?
Dematti girls.
Oh, shit, yeah.
Yeah, yes.
Who are
the Dematti girls?
They're dancers.
They're hot as hell.
Dancers, like ballet?
Like exotic.
The Shivers.
They've got a team.
Are they any good? At tennis?
Oh, I say we pay them a visit.
I'll drive. Coach, Coach,
hold on.
I got this.
What about you, Owen? I think we all know
who I'll be up against.
Charles here.
Chuck, it's me.
Oh, the chicken choker.
Cut the shit.
We're on for the BCCC.
The what? The Combo Cup, dick.
Wow. Looks like your third testicle finally dropped.
I'm not the one with
three testicles, Charles.
You'd have the--
Listen, it's you
and me on the clay.
Oh, it's on, Match. Game set!
You'd better bring
your purse.
Double make
or game set.
That's good.
Here we go.
Yeah.
There you go.
Wow, looks like you're ready
for a little competition.
What do you mean?
I mean it's time for you and
Emily take on these two jackwipes.
T-Cubed and Ray-Ray.
Emily?
She won't play
on my team.
Yeah, yeah. She said she
loved to when I asked her.
You asked her?
Why would you do that?
Because I need you two
to be ready for Combo Cup.
Oh, Combo Cup.
No.Jake, come on, you need
to let your balls drop.
You know, that's easy for
you to say since you're a pro.
Look, not all teaching
pros are good players.
Turn around.
I'd be too nervous
to play.
Okay, I get that.
I totally get that.
Okay, I'm going to
tell you a little secret.
I knew
you were gay.
What?
Not--
It's funny.
I--look,
I write poetry.
But and you think
you're straight.
I'm serious. I'm
serious I write--
I write
a lot of poetry. No way.
Yeah, and I've always been,
been too nervous to show anybody.
Okay, but what does this
have to do with anything?
Jake, it has everything
to do with everything.
It has to do with you not
being a turtle anymore.
I don't know, Owen. Jake, Jake,
Jake, Jake, Jake.
Hey.
You can do this.
Really?
Poetry?
Don't tell
anybody that.
I won't,
I won't.
At least I don't dress
like a vampire.
Okay, Shakespeare.
Why did you hire Coach?
He needed a job.
You didn't needed
a part time pro.
Everybody gets
a second serve.
You're like one of those places
that takes in the lost puppies.
I'm a pushover, I know.
Hard shell,
soft center.
Not too hard I hope.
I imitated him
the other day.
Who?
Coach.
Oh, yeah,
everybody does that.
Yeah, but
they're meaning to.
I just did.
It just came out.
So?
So I think that I
may be more fatal.
Into Coach.
Do you know that
he lives in his van?
Yeah.
Owen.
You are not Coach.
Not yet.
Thank you.
You know, I know it's not much,
but while the place in
Nantucket is being finished,
it'll have to do.
I run a public
recreation center, Owen.
Money does not
impress me.
That's good.
Thank you for working with Jake.
He's a good kid.
He'll accept you
for some reason.
I'm taller.
Just barely.
You know he's got
the hots for somebody. Really? Who?
I can't tell you that. Oh, come on.
No, no, no. What is it
going to take?
Huh? You want a
part of my kingdom?
I have a ten-year-old
cat you can take, too.
I actually like cats.
I need to hit
the head.
Okay, sure.
What are you doing?
A River is Crossing by Owen Match. Stop. Give me that.
No, no, no. This is exactly
why I came over here.
No, yeah,
I knew it.
You're a spy.
Jake told you.
Jake mentioned nothing.
I swear.
Well, they're just
dumb poems.
Why do you think
they're dumb?
'Cause the only person
ever saw them told me so.
I think it's great
that you write. I do.
And actually
I have a friend.
An old college's
roommate.
She has a coffee house
on Bardstown.
And they have open
mic night on weekends.
You should
read them there.
College roommate.
Is she hot?
She's a lesbian.
Ah.Not that kind
of lesbian.
Oh.
You know, this sense
of humor of yours,
it's just
a defense mechanism.
Defense against evil in
general or just fascism?
You know, if you don't take anything
seriously, then nothing can hurt you.
You take everything seriously,
everything will hurt you.
What does that mean? I have no idea.
You have a sickness.
Hey, baby,
did you miss me?
Oh, shit.
What's the date?
What, it's the 27th.
What? Oh, God.
We got
the whole week.
Hello.Oh.
Owen?
Ah, Sherry,
um, this is Cindy.
Oh, I get it.
And she's hot.Oh.
I get it.
I'll let myself out. Sherry, listen to me.
Of course. This is exactly
how it would turn out.
Sherry, Sherry. I don't know
why I thought--
Sherry.
Goodbye, Owen. Sherry, please,
don't go.
Want me to call
one of my girlfriends?
How many of those
you had already?
About 11.
Remember when I used to talk to
you boys about Jean Paul Sartre?
Going to need something
a lot stronger than Dew
if we'regoing
to talk about Sartre.
What was that I told you
Sartre used to say?
Hell is other people?
No, I think that was
Mother Teresa.
No, he used to say, "Human being is defined by his actions."
Yeah, I know.
I get that.
I know I've done some
bad things in my life but--
I'm a-I'm a good guy, you know.
Those things
shouldn't define me.
You see that?
I had that for 47 years.
It fades during the winter
but it never goes away.
Not entirely.
I got them all over.
I tried to scrub
mine off last night.
Sure.
You push it forward.
Been pumping spheres
for 20 years.
Got no health insurance. On
top of which all the kids you taught
probably turned out more
successful than you did.
Coach, you trying
to make me jump?
You had a notion once upon a time of maybe going into something else,
but you never finish college,
so you figure, I'll teach tennis.
That's how it starts. You
get seduced by the schedule.
You get to work with all these
pretty ladies wearing short skirts.
You sleep late. Get to bronze your body in the sun.
Get the ball rolling
for skin cancer.
Coach. Let's face it, Owen. You're a lifer.
You passed that point
of no return.
Because what happens
to every tennis pro
that tries to make it out
there in the real world?
They always come back. They always come back.
We're institutionalized. Besides, we don't know how to do anything.
I was like you once, Owen.
And I thought
there was this big ship was just
going to... come through the fog
and give meaning
to my job.
You were that ship
for me, Owen.
I'm sorry
I let you down.
Who said
you let me down?
Owen erased his name
off of all of the court sheets.
He called in sick.
He's on the roof
with Coach.
Good.
Maybe he'll jump.
Mom, he fixed
my serve.
Don't jump, Owen. Don't do it, man.
We're all losers, man.
We need you, man.
Come on down.
Don't jump.
I-I love you.
Owen?
My office now.
And put on a shirt.
Hey, Owen, do you have
an extra Dew?
Yeah.
Next time
you call in sick,
don't show up on our roof or
I'm calling the Fire Department.
I know how-- Owen, please, don't.
I just added it
to my list of bad dates.
It was over before it
started. End of story.
She means
nothing to me.
Is that supposed
to make me feel better?
Just let me explain. Owen, forget it.
Really, it's over.
And I really appreciate what
you've been doing with Jake,
but I don't think that's
a good idea anymore.
He's got
a practice match tonight.
He can play tonight,
but after that I--
What about Combo Cup?
I don't think that Combo Cup is
a good idea for Jake or the club.
Sherry, you're kidding. I don't think it's right
that you use my staff
to settle some personal
score with Charles.
It's not fair.
Bullshit, Sherry, okay? Don't
punish these guys for my mistakes.
It wasn't your mistake.
It was mine.
Hey, where's Jake?
He went to the bathroom
about ten minutes ago.
He hasn't
come back, yet.
Yeah, vamp's too chicken
to play us a practice match.
Shut up.
Warm up with these A-holes.
Now I'll get Jake.
Jake?
Jake.
Jake. Leave me alone.
Thought we had
a deal, man.
What deal?
You grow a pair, and play these jackwipes.
It sounds like a
one-sided deal to me.
Look, Jake,
I know
that you're lost
in the fog,
but I can be your lighthouse
that brings you to shore.
What are you
talking about?
I don't--
I don't know.
Just-just come out and play.
I'm too nervous.
Nervous is good. Nervous means it matters.
You are never nervous? I'm nervous all the time, Jake.
Look, in fact,
I'll make you a deal.
If you come out
and play these guys,
I'll go read my poetry at that
cafe your mom's friend runs.
You'd do that?
Yeah. Yeah, but you got to be
there and you got to bring your mom.
You can't tell her
that I told you.
We got a deal?
Did they call me "vamp"?
Yeah, they
called you "vamp".
If they're going to call you
"vamp", then be a vampire.
Play like a vampire. Make
vampire noises and shit, man.
I'm serious. Got to get your game face on.
Lestat.
I can be Lestat.
What?
A character
in the book.
I am Lestat.
So, is it on?
It's so on.
All right.
Nobody in the kitchen. Don't
let anybody in the kitchen.
Great.
Yeah, Jake.
Woo!
Jake.
I thought
I was dreaming.
Man, Emily, she really got
into that whole vampire thing.
Yeah, she takes
acting at school.
You were like
a different person.
You should vamp
it up more often.
I think
I was treeing.
Feels good to win,
doesn't it?
Well, when I was out there, I
wasn't thinking about winning.
You know?
It was just cool.
You should be proud.
Today was the
best day of my life.
It's time to go.
Later.
Did you see that, Mom?
Yeah, you're a regular
Djokovic out there.
It felt
amazing.
"I am alone.
"We are alone.
"You are alone.
"So alone.
"I drift, midriff.
"Nift.
Alone, so alone."
I knew this smelled
of tennis pro.
Come on, Mom.
He fixed my serve.
"We are alone.
I'm alone."
Thank you.
It's not better than the
last one, then we're leaving.
All right, Owen.
Woo!
I'm, um, my name
is Owen Match.
It's on.
Um, I've never read any of
my poems out loud before, so.
It's the first time.
This poem is called
Second Serve.
"A fine line marks day
from night, dark from light.
"A-a thin line separating
hidden from seeing,
"an edge too clean to
bear encroachment or fault.
"A lifetime of labor and
play in courts of clay,
"gashed with nets,
thin, white edges.
"Love is pointless,
"only in this game.
"Off courts,
love is all.
"Flesh and bone and heart
beyond games lost in one.
"Not to miss
the mark this time.
"A new line.
"My second serve
is ours."
Hey, uh--
I just wanted to thank
you guys for coming.
I got to say, I enjoyed the
hell out of seeing you nervous.
Yeah, about needed
to change my boxers.
I'll see you tomorrow.
So, uh,
what did you think
about the poem?
It wasn't stupid.
Thanks.
I should say, I thought
it was really nice.
Look, I'm sorry
about Cindy.
I... totally forgot
to tell her that--
You forgot
to tell her what?
That I like
somebody else.
Coach told me that you
tried to rub off your tan lines.
No.
Yes.
I did.
It was an out-of-body
experience.
So, what do you say?
About what?
About--
About everything.
About us.
About Combo Cup.
God, why is it so hard
to stay mad at you?
'Cause you
barely know me.Yeah.
Okay.
Okay what?
Okay to...
all of it, Owen.
Really?
So, it's on?
It's what I said.
No, no. You said
it's-- You said okay.
Is it... on?
Oh.
Oh, right, oh.
It's on.
See? That wasn't
so hard, was it?
No.
Goodnight, Owen.
Goodnight.
You know, we got a chance
to get something here today
that most of us have
never really had before.
And that's respect.
You know, they may
have more talent than us.
More experience. You
know they have more money.
But what we have
that they don't have,
heart.
And intensity.
And tenacity.
And we got a whole lot
more determination than them.
And plus,
we got strippers.
Let's embrace
our dysfunction.
And let's get out there
and get all up
in somebody's kitchen.
Welcome to the 13th
Annual Combo Cup.
Hosted by
the Louisville Boat Club.
Today's first round match pitched
defending champs, the Fountain Club
against the Derby City
Recreation Center.
Remember what
we talked about.
Lots of fangs,
lots of fun.
Right?
There you go.
All matches will be
one pro set to eight.
Kicking things off today, a
junior mixed doubles match.
Watch out, seniors.
Here comes the future.
Here we go.
Combo Cup.
Ah.
Give them the slice.
And Derby City
takes a 1-0 lead
in this best
of five battle.
Next up, the tag
team triples match.
Each team offers up three
pros who tag in and out.
What are you doing? What
are you doing? Get off the court.
Only two men on
the court at this time.
Yes.
Yeah.
Lingo.Yes.
All right,
all right.
Take the racket, dude.
Oh.
With two matches down,
it's a tied score.
All right, guys.
One-one.
Next stop, it's the
pro-am doubles match.
Featuring one pro
and one amateur.
Serve the ball,
Rain Man.
Quiet, please.
That's brilliant.
Keep it up.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Hey, O.C.D.
Check it out, man.
That puts Derby City ahead
of our defending champs.
Two to one.
It's a hot day
in Louisville.
But it's about to get
a lot hotter up in here
as we bring out
a crowd favorite.
A wild card
ladies' match.
Players rotate
in and out,
and all women
must play.
Quiet, please.
I don't think I've ever seen tennis this bad look this good.
Oh, we got a problem.
Misty fell off her heel
and sprained her ankle.
Oh, no, really?
Go easy on them. They're not
used to playing with their clothes on.
I got this.
Yeah.
Misty.
Derby City's throwing a
curveball into the game.
Looks like club manager, Sherry
Milton, is going to hit the clay.
Yeah.
Ouch. Nice steer there
for the green team.
But under article 58-B, that's
an automatic disqualification,
which makes
everything even again.
Two-two.
We both tagged her.
After a short break, the final
round we've all been waiting for.
Pro versus pro.
How are you doing, kid?
I feel like I'm going
to have diarrhea.
Yeah, you'll do fine,
bubby. I mean, Owen.
I'll see you
after the match.
You're not going, you're
not going to watch?
I thought I'd sit
this one out.
I don't want
to make you nervous.
Nervous means
it matters.
Good luck.
Hey.
You're a good coach.
It's a battle straight
out of tennis lore.
Owen Match versus
Charles Peter Hausen III.
Charles.
Why don't you do
the honors, Owen?
"P" or "D"?
"P".
Good luck.
Ah.
Oh.
You should've played
like that
when you werebetting
against yourself, Match.
Oh.Are you all right?
I don't know.
Do you want these?
Get all up
in his kitchen.
Yeah.
Okay.
Woo!
Let's go.
What are you--
Time out, time out, time out.
Oh.
What are you doing? All right.
This is how
it's going to be?
I don't know what's wrong with me today, Charles.
Ah.
Way out.
If you were like 12 feet back. and a little bit to the right,
that would have been right in.
All up
in his kitchen.
Ah.
You cannot
be serious.
They're looking on.
Ah.
Thirty-forty. Match point.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
"Game Set" Match.
You going
to serve this today?
Oh.
And we have a winner.
Charles Peter Hausen III.
Reigning champions
the Fountain Club
will advance
to the next round.
That's the way
it's done.
See that?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You kicked ass, Owen.
Good game. Next time.
Give me five, buddy.
All up in the kitchen, brother.
I was trying to.
O.C.D., my man.
You got
a game out there.
Yeah, you know, well, I
shagged a few balls in my life.
I'm not touching that.Yeah.
Owen, you know,
I haven't filled
your spot at the club.
I'd like you
to come back.
Well, thanks, Charles. I,
uh, I think I found my spot.
Sorry about your nose.
Good game.
"Game Set."
Coach, Coach, Coach.
Do you have
any SPF 30?
These ultraviolets
are freaking killing me.
How you feel
out there?
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
All up in your kitchen.
I'm thinking
I love you
But I'm not sure
You seem to have
Shown up at my door
And it's wide open
In front of me
Outside
The grass is greener
Than it's been in years
Or so it seems
That this could be
A perfect
Beautiful day
Beautiful day
Oh I wonder
How the clowns
Make those designs
And look
That one is you
Another there
That one is me
That's what I see
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
In the afternoon
Oh this sinful bloom
The sun feels good
On my skin
With the perfect sky
Sunlight in our eyes
Running straight
Into the wind
I know I love you
That's for sure
What amazes me
Now even more
Is not your love
All of my inadequacies
Outside
Shining at high noon
Is the perfect sphere
Of a whole full moon
Like it is Just
waiting On her spoon
This has been a lovely
Perfect beautiful
Been a lovely
Perfect beautiful
Been a lovely
Perfect beautiful day
Beautiful day