A Mouthful of Air (2021) Movie Script

So after breakfast, Teddy,
I'm gonna tidy up,
and then I'm gonna do
a little bit of work.
And then your cousin Ellie
is gonna come over.
Can you say "Ellie"?
Ellie.
Okay.
What do you think the next book
should be about, Champy?
You like that color.
Pinky Tinkerbink unlocks her courage.
You like that idea?
Mama's not good with circles.
No, she's not.
You're gonna love peaches, Teddy.
Your dad loves peaches,
but he's allergic to the skin.
Hopefully, you won't be allergic.
And if you are,
I'll just peel the skins off for you.
Okay. It'll be easy.
Hey, guys.
-Morning.
-Hi, babe.
-Got something to show me?
-Yes, I have something to show you.
Great. Hey, buddy.
Okay.
Okay, so from my reading
they asked me to design a poster, right,
and then I designed the whole window.
Of course you did.
Pinky's in the middle of this big rainbow,
and it's super bright,
and she's throwing up
all these 3D hearts up in the air.
And then, look.
Every kid gets to leave with one of these.
A magic pinkie ring.
-You're not even listening to me.
-Yes, I am. I'm always listening.
No, you're giving me
that look that you give me.
I'm looking in your eyes.
She has nice eyes.
Your mom has very nice eyes.
Just like yours.
I just don't know
what you're trying to find.
You.
I'm right here.
Crap.
Okay. I gotta go.
Gotta go. Bye, buddy. Love you.
Bye, Mommy.
Okay, okay.
I'll meet you on the corner outside,
34th and 7th, 7 p.m.
Please don't be too late.
Because I really wanna see this game.
Who's that?
-Hola, Teddy.
-Buenos das, Hector.
-Hector, can I ride down with you?
-Sure.
-Bye.
-We love you.
Bye, dada.
Those feets in?
Got those feets in?
Okay.
Does it feel good?
Does that feel good, Teddy?
Good boy.
That feels nice, doesn't it?
Yeah, that's very warm.
That's very warm.
Baby.
You know you're gonna walk soon?
When you start walking,
you're gonna trip and skin your knee.
You're gonna bop your head
on the coffee table,
but you're gonna keep going.
Because that's what champions do.
Right, Champy?
They keep going.
Who's a good boy?
See all those flowers?
Pretty flowers.
Yeah.
Look at that moon.
That's pretty.
You ever think
you might like to visit the moon?
Well, I did.
Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Though I'd like to look down at the Earth
From above
-Machine.
-Julie, pick up. We know you're there.
We just parked. Need anything?
Starbucks?
Ellie stop pulling my hair,
you're gonna pull all my hair out.
We'll be there in ten minutes, okay? Bye.
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes, I'd travel under the sea
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Ellie will be here soon.
But there's not much to do
When your friends are all fish
And an oyster and clam aren't real family
So I don't want to live in the sea
I'd like to visit the jungle
Hear the lion roar
Go back in time and meet a dinosaur
There's so many strange places
I'd like to be
But none of them permanently
So if I should visit the moon
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then
I will make a wish on a star
And I'll wish I was home once again
Though I'd like to look down
At the Earth from above
I would miss all the places
And the people I love
So although I may go
I'll be coming home soon
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon
No, I don't want to live
On the moon
What are you looking at?
Do you see your balloon?
Do you see that balloon? That's for you.
Almost home, Champy. We're almost there.
Okay.
So, okay.
Hi, guys.
-Hey.
-How's my favorite grandson?
Here we go.
-Are you ready for a bottle?
-Hi. Hi.
Come here, baby, come here.
I got you. I got you.
Who's a beautiful boy?
Hey. Hey there. Hey.
I got it.
-Hello?
-Hey.
Hi.
-How are things?
-Great.
We just got back from the shoe store.
And our little guy with those
chubby little feet is a size four.
Walker. Wide.
Listen.
I won't be late tonight.
I'll meet those guys after work
and come home at halftime. Okay?
I wanna go tonight with you, actually.
I mean, my mom did the laundry
and puffed the pillows
and she's giving Teddy his bottle
as we speak,
so I feel like,
since you have her standing guard,
we should take advantage of it.
Jule, it's just temporary, you know?
Until you're strong enough
to take care of Teddy on your own.
Oh, shit, so like forever?
Are you sure you're ready to see Lucy?
Yeah. Yeah. I want to.
I need to go.
Okay.
-I'll meet you outside.
-Okay, I'll see you soon.
Love you.
I love you. Bye.
I'm having my face done.
No, you're not. That's ridiculous, Mom.
There was an opening on Teddy's birthday.
Luckiest day of the year.
But then I thought
you might need me for his party.
Party? What party?
He doesn't have any friends.
Who would we invite?
But you do.
Come on, it will be a good reset.
Have people over,
let everyone know you're okay.
And it would make it easy
for your dad to come back.
You know he loves you very much.
Mom, I love you, but you have to stop
standing outside of the shower.
Hello, Ms. Davis.
I'm Dr. Sylvester.
-I'm a psychiatrist here in the hospital.
-Is my son okay?
Yes, he's absolutely fine.
Cute little guy. He's waiting
with your husband at your home.
My sister-in-law, she's gonna kill me.
No, no, no.
They very much wanna see you,
but I thought it might be a good idea
if we had a chance to talk first.
-Is that okay?
-Yeah.
Okay.
Can you tell me what happened?
Is this the first time
you've tried to take your life?
Yeah.
Have you come close before?
Thought about it before?
I think about it all the time.
How far back does that go?
On and off since I was in the first grade.
That's when things started changing.
In what way?
Things were fuzzy.
Memory's fuzzy.
I don't know how else to explain it.
-Does mental illness run in your family?
-No.
That's not true.
My mom would say
that my dad's mentally ill.
My husband would say that
my dad's mental illness
looks a lot like being an asshole.
What about more recently?
How did you do when you were pregnant?
I managed.
How about after you had the baby?
There was just more or less,
the same thing I'd been experiencing
most of my life.
Felt spoiled and too weak.
Like every other woman would do
a better job of taking care of Teddy.
Both of them.
You may or may not remember this,
but in the 1970s,
there were rumors
that there were spider eggs in this stuff.
And people just stopped chewing it.
For a while,
I actually thought that was true.
Even after they took out an ad
in the New York Times
and I knew it wasn't true,
I still couldn't chew it.
It's funny how that happens.
A rumor starts, you believe it,
and you find out it's not true, and still
you can't put the damn gum in your mouth.
And then just the other day,
I'm in the drug store with my daughter,
and I tell her to pick some candy.
Wouldn't you know, she just grabs this.
You know, it's pink, it's eye level. Sure.
But then, suddenly,
my thought process goes like this:
"Wait a minute,
she's still too young for gum.
She's gonna choke."
And then I think, "You're a medical man.
You know she won't choke. That's crazy."
And it hit me.
It was my irrational fear of spider eggs.
After all these years.
I guess we all need to learn
where the spider eggs actually are.
And perhaps more importantly,
where they are not.
Who's a hungry boy?
Oh, such a good eater.
There you go.
-What a good boy you are.
-Mom, can you wrap me? Please.
Sure.
Can't get this one.
I need to cut your hair, buddy.
-We can take him to a barber shop.
-You afraid of me with scissors?
No, I'm scared he's gonna look ugly.
-Not gonna look ugly.
-There.
That's good. Covers up everything.
All it took
were just a couple strands of beads.
Hey, bubs. Hi.
-Oh, look at this.
-Sweet boy.
Look at this.
Oh, God.
It's what my face is gonna look like.
And they're gonna shave the cartilage.
I mean, everyone's nose
gets more bulbous as they age.
And their teeth shift.
One day, if I'm not here, I want you
to watch your nose and your teeth.
Dead giveaways. You know?
You wanna feed him?
It's okay, different time.
A different time.
-You don't wanna be late.
-Yeah.
You go have fun with your husband.
Don't you worry. I'm here.
Yeah, you can have another bite.
-Yeah.
-Sorry. You're beautiful, Mom.
No face-lifts, okay?
You'll look like an alien.
I love you so much.
-I'll look ten years younger.
-I love you, I love you, I love you.
Have fun. Have fun.
Okay, I'm going.
Hey, Jule.
Yeah?
You think he's okay, right?
I mean, you don't think
anything has happened to him, do you?
Dad? No, I'm not worried about him.
Because I've always been able
to reach him. I can't reach him.
Maybe he doesn't wanna be found.
-Would you like another bite?
-I love you.
If you kiss a ukulele lady
And you promise ever to be true
I'm locking the door.
If she sees another ukulele lady
Mess around on you
Maybe she'll cry
Maybe she'll sigh
Maybe she'll find...
Jesus. Just hold on. Hold on.
You made it.
You all right?
Yeah, I got this.
-You got this?
-Yeah.
-Hey.
-Hey, look at you.
-Good to see you.
-Yeah.
Hey, buddy, good to see you.
So what do you think?
Our guy's gonna pull through, huh?
-Mortal lock.
-Listen to your fucking husband, huh?
-The eternal fucking optimist.
-You don't have to tell me.
Come on, let's sit. Lucy's here.
-Hey, sis.
-Hey.
All right, so drinks. Want drinks?
-Yes.
-Beers, huh?
-What are we having?
-Hi. Can I get four Coronas with lime?
You want--? Extra lime. Thanks.
-You got it.
-Yeah.
-Sure.
-Sounds good.
Yeah.
I got apps, all right?
I already got some-- Got those
little teeny-tiny hot dogs and nachos.
-All right. Yum.
-Thank you.
Yummy, yummy.
Thanks.
You guys know who Shel Silverstein is?
He's the guy that wrote The Giving Tree.
-Sure.
-Yeah. He's, like, one of my heroes.
I mean, there's like Schulz, Seuss,
Sendak, Hans Christian Anderson.
But that's besides the point.
Anyway, he-- Before he was famous,
he sold hot dogs
for the White Sox and Chicago Cubs.
You know what that's like? That's like
working for the Mets and the Yankees.
Yeah. And then when he was famous,
an interviewer asked him
what he learned, and they--
He said that everybody likes ketchup.
Everybody likes mustard.
Everybody likes mustard.
Yeah. That was it.
That was what he learned.
Mustard.
Are you done with that story?
Mind if I change the subject
really quickly?
-I'm just wondering--
-Stop.
Go ahead. Let her say
what she wants to say.
Did you ever think about
what it would be like for us?
Ellie thought
she was coming over for a play date.
-Okay, stop.
-Okay.
Oh, how was the house?
Did you like the house? It's nice, right?
-No.
-What?
What?
I went up and saw a house that's for sale,
down the street from them.
It's really nice. There's a big yard.
Very affordable.
There's a basketball hoop.
You can watch Teddy play
from the kitchen window.
Houses scare me.
And I love our apartment. I'm happy there.
-I'm really happy there.
-Now I'm lost. I'm sorry.
-Okay.
-You say that you're happy there?
-Okay, guys.
-I'm so confused. I'm very confused.
I'm sorry, it's just, it's always--
It's always about you, Julie.
It's never about him.
Have you ever even asked him
what it was like for him?
Ask him, ask him what he did every night
while you were in the hospital.
Tell her what you did.
I think a move might be good for us,
that's all.
He would come home after work,
after visiting you in the hospital,
after putting your son to bed,
and you know what he would do?
He would scrub the carpet.
That's the thing about blood.
Your blood won't come out of the carpet.
-Where you going?
-I have to pee.
-Are you happy?
-Really? Really, Luce?
Let me.
Jule?
Yeah! You ready?
-That looks insane, man.
-Ready?
One, two...
Hey, this is Ron.
Leave a message
and I'll get back to you as--
Why are you scared of houses?
Houses are great. Everyone loves houses.
Let's say that you're on one end
of the house and I'm on the other end,
and I call your name
and you don't hear me. Then what?
We get walkie-talkies?
What if there's a thunderstorm
and you're in the city,
and Teddy and I are alone out there?
I drive home.
And what if you crash?
Then I limp to a train
and walk the rest of the way.
What if we move up there
and you stop loving me?
Well...
I mean,
you can't really blame the house for that.
Jule.
I'm never gonna stop loving you.
How about this? I promise
to go to the roof of our house
and sneak cigarettes with you.
I mean,
you would get to see the stars again.
They're getting better.
Look at that.
I have a birthday boy
who's very excited to see his mommy.
-Happy birthday, my love.
-Yeah.
Hi, Champy.
Happy birthday.
Do you like your sign?
It says, "Happy birthday, Teddy Bear."
Mama made that sign.
She just finished it.
You wanna see what I got you?
-Want some presents?
-Do you want to see?
-Okay.
-All right. So, what do we got here?
What is this?
Homemade surprise?
-Too much?
-No.
-He likes it.
-He likes it.
Yeah?
Very cute.
-It's not my birthday.
-Open it.
The next Pinky book is about hope.
Thank you.
We made it to one.
What do you think?
We made it to one.
Sorry I'm so hairy.
I see 50 of these a day.
It would have to snap like a turtle
for me to notice.
Okay.
All done.
Why don't you sit up.
-It's Teddy's birthday. Today. Yeah.
-Doing anything to celebrate?
He's gonna have
his first chocolate cake tonight.
-I'm gonna bake it for him.
-Amazing.
I have to tell you,
I'm asking new mothers
how they're feeling when they come in.
Not just physically, but really
how they're doing.
That's because of you.
That's really good.
How are the antidepressants
working for you?
Good, you know?
I was walking through a world
that was black-and-white,
and now I'm just starting
to see color again, so...
-Good.
-Yeah.
And how are your periods?
They still obliterating you?
You know the silver lining here?
I hate to say
that I haven't got my period,
and it's been like two months.
All the blood loss maybe.
Makes sense.
Okay. Good.
I'm gonna have Barbara take some blood,
have you pee in a cup.
You know the drill.
Okay.
And I'll be back in a minute.
Okay.
When?
October.
October is soon.
Some bread crumbs.
Good, good. Okay.
Yeah.
Didn't know there were
so many bread crumbs.
Isn't that the same thing? Same thing.
Okay.
I'll just get these.
No, I'll get these. Okay.
And vanilla extract,
and then we have soda water,
and then we're done.
I gotta get some water for Daddy.
He loves fizzy water.
You can help me out.
There's a lot of options here.
It's not that hard. Okay.
The store will be closing shortly.
Oh, this isn't that hard.
It's not that hard.
Ma'am?
Ma'am.
Ma'am.
Ma'am, you haven't paid yet.
Ma'am, you have to pay.
Let go of the lemon, baby.
Come on. Good boy.
Teddy, we didn't pay for that.
Hey.
Here to see Dr. Sylvester.
It's Julie Davis. I'm Ethan Davis.
I understand what you're saying,
but I just can't do it.
I didn't have a glass of wine
or a Diet Coke
when I was pregnant with Teddy.
Didn't have coffee or cigarettes.
If you were diabetic,
would you stop taking medicine?
That's not the same thing.
This feels like a conversation, guys,
but it isn't.
Okay? You have to stay
on the antidepressant.
You can go off the drug,
and your pregnancy hormones
might protect you.
But after,
when you go back on, it might not work.
Or it might take too long to work.
That's not a risk to take. Is it?
Now, I know you're a very strong woman.
I know you want that to be enough.
But you can be
as strong as Hercules himself,
and if you fall into a pool
and you don't know how to swim,
you'll drown.
But I know how to swim.
You know, when I was in college,
I fancied myself a poet
because I was dating a poet
in my junior year.
And we used to read poems to each other
every night before bed.
And one night, my lady friend read me
this poem.
It made quite an impression on me.
Your small brother is making
his balloon squeak like a cat.
Seeming to see
a funny pink world he might like to eat
on the other side of it,
he bites, then sits back,
fat jug
contemplating a world clear as water.
A red shred in his little fist.
I knew
I could spend the rest of my life trying,
I'd never write a line as good as that.
That's one of the last poems
that Sylvia Plath wrote
before taking her life.
I can remember thinking,
How does someone who sees
that much life and hope in a balloon
simply bake her kids cookies
and then stick her head in the oven?"
How is that possible?
Because she knew the beauty
that she was leaving behind,
and yet the pain was so bad
that death became her only option.
Let's wait.
Wait?
Let's wait.
Let's get Teddy out of diapers.
No one will ever judge you for it.
No one will ever even know.
I'll know.
Jule, listen to him.
We got lucky the last time.
You can be mad at me, that's fine.
Oh, I hate when you do that, Ethan.
You give me permission to be mad at you.
I'll be mad at you
if I wanna be mad at you.
-And you can be mad at me too.
-No, I can't.
I'm not allowed to get mad at you.
You left no room for me to get mad at you.
You made sure of that.
Wow, that's not fair.
Fair? Really?
Do you wanna talk about fair?
I didn't think so.
Come on.
Come on.
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Hey. A man from the market,
he brought this.
Thanks.
Okay.
It's nice to have you back again.
Hey, Hector.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
We'll have another baby,
and just like with Teddy,
we won't be able to remember
what the world was like without him.
Or her.
It's a good thing.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's good.
And two more.
Hey, buddy.
Oh, boy. Really?
Okay. How's she doing?
Great. I'm gonna head down right now.
I have everything she asked for.
Yup, that too.
Okay. See you soon.
Call me if there's any updates.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
Okay.
Okay.
You like this?
Trees? Yeah.
It'll be quiet.
You'll get used to it.
You think
the people who lived here were happy?
Probably.
Do you think we'll be happy here?
I do, actually.
I think we'll be very happy here.
Me too.
I do too.
The lungs are developing nicely.
Cardiac activity is excellent.
Ten fingers, ten toes, and...
last but not the least--
Come on, you little rascal.
There we go. Yup.
Wanna know the sex?
-Yes.
-No.
How about I write it down
on a piece of paper,
and then you can check it
when you're ready?
Or not.
This is for your scrapbook.
And I will see you in a month.
You're doing great.
She's doing great.
-Thank you, doctor.
-Thank you.
-Ten fingers, ten toes.
-Ten fingers, ten toes.
-Hi there.
-Hi.
Hi.
-Two strawberry.
-Yeah.
-Two strawberry.
-Two strawberry shortcakes coming up.
Thank you.
Two. It's for you. Thank you.
Yes.
-Don't drop her.
-Why would I drop her?
That's right. That's it.
That's my big and strong what?
Powerful legs.
Watch me flex my...
What word are we looking for?
Thank you. Flex my...
Thank you. Flex my... What?
Ready? Hey, come on. Right here.
Hey, look.
What is she doing?
"The world was dark and gray,
and Pinky was scared.
But she was also very brave.
Pinky climbed inch by inch
to the top of the tower.
Stuck her finger into the keyhole,
and then she turned it.
And the bell began to ring and vibrate.
The carousel animals began to spin,
and, suddenly,
a giant rainbow came pouring out.
The sky became blue,
the grass turned green.
Flowers popped up pink,
purple, yellow, and red.
The world was bright with color.
And Pinky wasn't scared anymore."
Raise your hand
if you're scared of the dark.
-Me.
-You're scared of the dark?
-Yep.
-Why?
-Monsters.
-Monsters.
What do you do?
My mommy says
everyone has monsters in their head.
So when my monster comes out at night,
all I need to do
is close my eyes and tell him to go away.
And does it work?
-Sometimes.
-Sometimes.
You know, when I was your age,
I was also very scared of monsters.
Before bed, I would go out to my window
and I would look out at the stars,
and I would pick a star
and I would wish on it.
And what I wished for was a best friend.
I wanted a best friend
to support me and stay by my side.
And I wanted someone to tell secrets to.
Somebody who would help me
slay the monsters.
And it took me a really long time
to find a best friend
because she didn't exist.
I had to dream her up.
And now she's...
She's always by my side.
I have an idea.
How about we all draw
our own monster slayer?
What do you think?
When I was little, I used to think
that an elf lived inside every clock
and it was up to him to keep time moving.
-Really?
-I used to get worried,
"What if he fell asleep?"
so I'd try to stay up as late as I could
to make sure that the elf stayed awake
and time kept moving.
Well, that's a lot of responsibility
for a little elf.
Yeah.
I was a funny kid.
What are we having?
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
Yeah.
You told me not to tell you.
Then tell me if it's a boy,
and then don't tell me if it's a girl.
Okay.
-A girl?
-Yeah.
-A little girl.
-Yeah.
-Hello, little girl.
-A little girl.
We're having a girl.
I can't--
I can't have a daughter.
I can't have a daughter.
What if she doesn't like me?
-She'll love you.
-Maybe she won't like my hair.
-If she doesn't like my hair?
-Gonna love your hair.
My voice.
What if she doesn't like my voice?
What if she scringes at the sound
of my voice? Oh, God.
Julie. Julie, Julie. Deep breaths. Hey.
-I--
-Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.
This is beautiful. This is amazing.
Hey, hey, hey.
Julie, Julie, hey. It's okay.
It's okay. Hey.
Look at me. It's gonna be fine.
It's okay. Deep breaths.
Okay? It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be fine.
Tell him.
Tell him what happened in the park today.
-I don't--
-Tell him, Julie.
I think he's making
a bigger deal out of it than it is.
It's all easy for me, right? All I do
all the time is worry, is she okay?
And I have no idea
because she's so good at pretending.
But for a second, I saw today...
She couldn't pretend,
and I know she's not okay.
-She's not okay.
-I'm...
I'm emotional because I'm pregnant,
and I feel like that's pretty normal.
Don't say that. That's-- Don't lie.
I'm sorry?
I'm-- I'm not the liar.
What does that mean? How am I lying?
How am I lying?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Look at me.
All you ever wanna do
is look at me in my eyes,
and now you look away?
Because it's scary, right?
And I've been telling you.
I've been telling
you were gonna look away. I warned him.
That if he saw me,
if he really saw how ugly I am,
that you would have no choice
but to look away.
And I was right.
So that makes you the liar.
Why don't you try telling him
what happened that day, Julie?
"Bye-bye, trains." Ready?
Ready? On the count of three,
say, "Bye-bye, trains."
Every time I'm alone, I'm afraid
something bad is gonna happen to Teddy.
Now say, "Bye-bye, kitchen."
Bye-bye, kitchen.
Every time I feed him,
I'm afraid he's going to choke to death.
Thank you. Yes.
If I see someone
with a pot of tea or hot water,
I'm afraid it's going to fall on him
and he's gonna get hurt
because I didn't protect him.
All packed up, ready to go?
I need a minute.
Okay.
We'll be downstairs.
Whenever I give him a bath,
I just think, "What if he drowns?
What happens if I look away
for one second and he drowns?"
When I think of him looking up at me
with those brave, trusting eyes,
I keep hearing...
"You're gonna fail.
You can't help but fail."
And the thought of that,
like, failing him...
And then I think, "Well, we all fail.
One way or another.
We're all going to die."
So that morning,
I knew that your sister was coming over
and I thought, "Just do it.
Lucy's coming over.
She'll take care of him.
Just do it now
before you change your mind.
Because he's safer
in the world without you."
Only you would get sunburned
from a happy lamp.
Do you have a minute?
Really, again?
-Please.
-I-- I--
-I have nothing more to add.
-Just one second. Come on.
-Oh, my gosh.
-Okay.
I'm not sure. Gloria Steinem wouldn't
have painted her daughter's room pink.
But Gloria Steinem didn't have kids.
Right, but what if pink
is asking too much of her?
Maybe she'll be a tomboy
and pink makes her feel bad about herself.
Like she's not pink enough.
-I think you'll have ruined her life.
-I'm serious. This is serious.
It's very important. Like--
I don't think I believe in the color pink.
Is that a thing?
Believing in the color pink?
-Ethan.
-I'm taking this very seriously, okay?
Every time we talk about it,
I take it very seriously.
It's not that many times.
It's very many times.
Okay, well, you know what?
I appreciate your patience. I do.
How about this? I have an idea.
Close your eyes,
reach out and point to a color.
Go.
Point!
-Point to one!
-Okay!
-What is it? Petal pink.
-Petal pink.
Petal pink.
Great. I'm gonna get
two gallons of petal pink, okay?
And if you don't like it,
I'll repaint for you.
-All right?
-Yes.
We should get Teddy dressed
and go over there.
Do I look normal?
I wouldn't go that far.
Show-off.
Guys, this is so cute. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Please don't worry,
Ellie is so good with him.
I know.
I know.
All right, already.
Thank you. Look at the ball.
Okay, iced tea?
Oh, yes, please.
No, thank you.
Why? Nothing bad will happen.
Caffeine might be good for you.
-I'm jealous.
-Yeah.
Nick and I aren't having any more,
and there's some great things about that.
No diapers...
But I miss having a baby.
I miss that feeling of breastfeeding.
Oh, God, I love that.
Do you think you'll breastfeed?
Is that safe? Is that okay?
Can you breastfeed and everything?
Are you sure?
-No judgment.
-If he--
No judgment.
Are you insane, girl? I'm saying...
-Yes. Absolutely.
-I know that.
Teddy!
Hey, sorry.
I'm sorry, can you be careful?
Come here. Come here.
Oh, it's okay.
Hey. You okay?
Yeah. We should go. We should go.
-Okay.
-Come on. Okay.
Sorry, baby.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Come on, boy.
I know I'm not okay
and that I need the medicine.
But I feel like I'm failing her.
Jule, a lot of people took formula
and they still love their mothers.
You know?
You're gonna be a great mom,
no matter what.
Whether you breastfeed her or not, okay?
I don't know how I'm supposed
to make her feel close to me.
I don't know
how I'm supposed to make her feel safe.
How many prices is she gonna have to pay,
Ethan, for me being her mom?
Sometimes I close my eyes
and I picture her,
you know, running through a field
of flowers in a little white dress
with her arms open and I think,
"That's what I wanna give her." You know?
I wanna give her the ability to laugh
without fear.
And then I think,
"How am I gonna teach her that
when I don't know how?
I can't remember what it was like...
to laugh like that.
Hello, friend. It's been a while.
My goodness.
Can you sing me
a bed night song, Daddy?
"Night Flower," right?
Come here, you.
So I can make a wish?
Of course you can.
What did you wish for?
For you to always love me.
Sweetheart.
That's something you'll never
have to waste a wish on.
I'll love you forever.
Hi, Rosie. Let's get you ready for bed.
Rosie.
Hi, Rosie.
So I can make a wish?
Is there a reason that you did that?
Is there a reason that you did that?
Look at me! You think that hurt?
Hey.
You need to eat something.
-Come on.
-He's in bed?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
He's in bed. I made you dinner.
Did all of the stuff.
Can you just tell me
a little of the story?
Just whatever you've got.
I mean, I made you a moon picnic here.
Come on, I need a little story.
It's my favorite thing.
You made really good pancakes.
Thanks. I'm pretty proud of it.
Okay, the story is called
Pinky Tinkerbink Saves the Stars.
Love that.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Once upon a time,
there was a star monster.
And it began plucking the stars
from the sky, one by one.
Every time he grabs one,
he puts it against his chest.
It goes into his body and then they glow
out of his stomach, bright, really bright.
And our heroine, this little girl
called Pinky Tinkerbink...
Tinkerbink.
...is really sad.
Why is she sad?
Because the star monster
is taking all the stars out of the sky.
How is she gonna wish on anything?
So she's trying to figure out how
to put all the stars back into the sky.
And she thinks about...
"Okay, well,
light bulbs glow like the stars, right?"
So she unscrews
all the light bulbs in her house,
and she throws them up one by one
into the sky, and they all fall down.
And so she thinks and she thinks,
and she realizes that diamonds,
they sparkle like the stars.
So she pops all of her diamonds
out of her tiara,
and she takes her slingshot,
and she just, like, slings them up
into the sky one by one.
And they went-- They go farther
and farther than the light bulbs.
But they can't go far enough.
And they all come raining down on her.
So Pinky thinks,
and she thinks and she thinks.
And then she thinks, "Lemons.
Lemons are yellow like the stars."
But lemons are very heavy.
So...
She finds this leaf blower
under a pile of old leaves
and she starts putting the lemons
in her leaf blower.
She's firing lemons out of her leaf blower
because it's so powerful, right?
And the lemons go flying up in the sky,
and they go farther than the diamonds.
Farther than the light bulbs.
But they don't go far enough.
And they come tumbling down on Pinky.
She didn't know what to do
because there was nothing to wish on,
not just for her,
but for all the little kids in the world.
All the big kids too.
Without stars, the world
would be a dark and hopeless place.
So what did she wish for?
Okay, Julie, when you're ready,
I'm gonna ask for one more big push.
-Okay, okay.
-Close your eyes.
Keep pushing.
With all you got.
-Harder. Keep pushing. Keep pushing.
-There you are, sweetheart.
-Keep pushing.
-Push.
What?
You made a good one.
Is she okay? Is she okay?
-She's okay. It's okay.
-Okay.
That wasn't so bad, was it?
She's perfect.
She's beautiful.
She's perfect.
She's... She's so perfect.
It's over.
Mama's gonna do this for you, okay?
Yeah.
Oh, you can have that, bubs.
You know,
there's nothing wrong with a bottle.
Babies.
They come into this world
trusting little creatures, huh?
I remember when you were born, you...
You looked at me
believing like I had all the answers.
And I remember thinking
how brave you were...
to believe that.
Jule.
I'm sorry I didn't have all the answers.
I know, Ma.
But you do.
You always have.
That was my mistake.
Looking to you for the answers.
But you can do this, Jule.
You can.
She's gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay.
Hell, even I'm gonna be okay.
Just think of all those widowers
out there just dying to remarry, huh?
I love you, Mom.
You're my baby.
I have a big brother who is very excited
to meet his little sister.
Hi.
This is your little sister.
It's your job to protect her, big brother.
Think you can do that?
Of course you can.
Wanna touch her?
-Wanna touch the baby?
-Come here.
Say hi.
-Come here.
-There she is.
-Yeah. Brought a balloon just for you.
-Who's that?
-Okay.
-Gotta get this on video.
Okay.
Today is October 9th, 1995.
And we have just welcomed
a new member into our family.
This is Rachel.
-She's very happy to be here.
-Hey, baby.
-She was seven pounds, nine ounces.
-Seven pounds, eight ounces.
-Seven pounds, eight ounces.
-She'll get there.
-Born at 9:48 p.m.
-9:48.
-Can you say, "Hi, Rachel"?
-Sorry to disturb you.
It's bath time.
-It's bath time.
-Teddy, let's go watch the bath.
-Let's go watch the bath.
-Yeah, go with Grandma.
Okay. I'll put her in.
She's sleeping.
She'll be okay.
-She's sleeping.
-Look at that baby.
-Sleeping.
-Do you see that baby?
-Do you see her?
-Have a nice bath, my bubba.
That's your little sister.
Isn't she something?
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
-We'll be right back.
-Okay.
Did you take your medicine?
No. It's in my overnight bag.
But I'm not gonna take them.
Just six weeks, that's all I need.
I mean, I did it for nine months,
so what's six more weeks, right?
-I promise I'm gonna take them.
-Jule.
I'm gonna. I--
I know, put the cabin pressure mask
on yourself. I get it.
No, I get that,
and if I'm taking a nose dive,
if I feel like I'm losing it,
they will be right there.
They'll be right there,
and I'll take them.
I promise. I know it's not okay, but okay?
No. No, it's not okay.
I'm not going down this road
with you again.
And your promise doesn't mean anything.
I mean, you left our kid alone
in a fucking ExerSaucer.
You're gonna bring this up now?
Don't make me the asshole here, okay?
For the last year,
I've been walking on eggshells around you
because I know
how to keep my end of a deal.
It's not fair
that you're bringing this up now.
Don't talk about fair, okay?
This isn't about you!
It's not actually about you.
It's about them.
Yeah.
Are you happy now?
I'm gonna go catch up with them.
Ethan.
I-- I can't take it.
I can't.
You see me spiraling, that's it.
I promise.
You can check under my tongue, okay?
I just can't.
You got that other crayon right there?
Can I have that one?
That's really good.
That's very good coloring.
What about this color?
Did you want this one?
I can give this one to you. I don't mind.
Okay.
Where's the big guy?
-Hi.
-Hi. Hi, bud.
-Oh, she's sleeping.
-Yeah.
Looks amazing in here.
-Is this the new stuff?
-Some of it, yeah.
-Another canopy bed?
-Yeah.
-Is that the star monster?
-Can you tell?
-Scary.
-Bad guy.
No stars.
No stars. But don't worry,
I'm working on the happy stuff now.
-Yeah, show me that one.
-No, not yet. It's a surprise.
For later.
Okay.
-I got to go.
-I know.
Bye.
Bye, buddy.
-Have a good day at work.
-Bye.
Everything is okay.
Okay?
-Okay.
-Don't worry.
Okay, bye.
-Stop worrying.
-Okay.
-Have a good day at work.
-Bye.
Bye, Daddy.
I think I see Nana coming up the road.
Is that Nana?
Is that Nana?
Is that Nana? Oh, Nana's here.
Come on.
I'm coming, Mom.
Nice and slow.
Mom, I'm coming.
Good. Good.
Hi.
Hi, Teddy. Hello, my baby boy.
Won't you say hello to Grandma?
He wanted to come back home.
You didn't say yes, did you?
Did you say yes?
Well, I didn't say no.
Be nice, Jule.
-He's the only father you got.
-Yeah.
Hey, look. Come here, baby.
Here's your grandpa.
Hey.
Mom says you're looking for a painter.
God, this is just like
the view out of your old room.
Remember these?
Yeah, of course I do.
You know, you used to have
innies just like those.
Probably shouldn't have her
around the fumes.
It's latex, nothing to worry about.
-Hey, Ma?
-We're in Teddy's room. But wait, wait.
-We're not ready yet.
-Oh, okay.
Okay. It's a bird. It's a plane.
It's Superman!
Look at you!
-I love you. You look so good.
-You look great.
You look so good.
-Come here.
-Mommy always loved Halloween.
-We're gonna get a little change.
-What's the matter, baby?
-She needs a little change.
-Do you wanna help me?
-I'm gonna help Dad paint.
-Okay. Okay.
Hello, baby. Hello, my baby girl.
Yeah, I love you.
Are you gonna help me?
Oh, my goodness.
That's a pretty color.
I hope so.
Hey, let me set you up.
So take this...
and hold it sort of like that.
Okay, got it.
There you go. Like that.
The guy at the paint store said
these were lint-free roller covers,
but they are never
lint-free roller covers,
and we don't want any lint bunnies here.
You take that. I'll take that.
Now, just like I taught you...
Just...
Shape...
smear...
and then spread.
All right.
Perfect every time.
That's it.
There you go.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry, flower.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That's yours. That's for you.
Pop.
Wow, they're so big.
There's none left anymore.
Mama has to go get more.
Mama will have to go get more.
Oh, it's okay. All right, come on.
Do you want some milky?
You want some milky?
Okay.
Okay, all right.
You're holding onto my hair.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, baby.
Oh, come on, what do you need?
What do you need?
What do you need? What do you need?
Yeah, I know.
Come on, I'm trying. I'm trying.
It's okay.
We're gonna get you your bottle.
Teddy, I'm right here, okay?
Hey, it's coming. It's coming.
It's coming. It's okay.
What am I doing wrong?
Teddy, I'm right here, okay?
Come on. Come on.
Baby girl, please,
please, please stop crying.
You put all the rocks down already.
You put them all down already.
You can go get them.
Go ahead.
-Hi, guys.
-You put all the rocks-- Hi.
Look, it's Daddy. There he is.
You're home so early.
-Hi.
-There he is.
-How's it going?
-Good.
-Good.
-Yeah.
-Her room looks really good.
-Great.
We picked a good color. It's so pretty.
-She's gonna like it.
-Good.
All right, well, me and this guy have
very important business to take care of.
You wanna come with?
We can get some pizza.
Nah, you guys have some boy time.
We'll have some girl time.
-Okay.
-Yeah. Have fun.
-All right, we'll be back in an hour.
-Okay.
Bye. Bye.
Bye, guys.
We love you.
Pinky Tinkerbink and her mommy
were best friends.
They went to the park together.
Baked together.
Played dress-up together.
Then one day, Pinky's mommy got sick...
and they couldn't play together anymore.
Every night before bed, Pinky would wish
on a star for her mommy to be okay.
But little by little, the stars
were starting to disappear from the sky.
And her mommy was not getting better.
One night, Pinky looked out the window,
and all the stars were gone.
There was nothing left for her
to wish upon.
This one?
Or this one?
Pinky's magic finger began to tingle.
She thought and thought
and thought and thought.
"I need to get the stars back
into the sky," Pinky told her mommy.
"But I don't know how."
I think this is the winner.
What do you think?
-I think we're gonna start here.
-Sure, I'll be right back.
...two and 15/16ths,
and go.
Oh, backwards?
Okay.
Mommy loves you, baby.
There's nothing more fun
than making something dirty, huh?
Oh, thank you, yes, I needed some dirt.
So Pinky defeats the star monster
and returns all the stars to the sky.
And then kids all over the world
get to wish again.
Is that right?
It's a pretty good ending.
-Really?
-Yeah.
What does Pinky wish for?
Pinky?
Yeah.
This.
All she ever wanted was this.
Hi. I'm here to see
Rachel Davis Nathan.
-Dad.
-She just gave birth.
-Hi.
-Hey.
Wait till you see her.
Hey, look who I found.
Hi.
-Congratulations, Grandpa.
-Oh, congrats to you.
Here, give this to your sister.
Hold on, you.
How you feeling?
It's okay.
Hello.
-Hello.
-She's very excited to meet you.
Likewise.
Hi.
Hi.
I know. I know.
Here we go.
Hi.
Thanks.
You know, baby, sometimes
the stars are blocked by the clouds,
and sometimes
they'll be outshined by the sun.
Sometimes they hide behind the moon.
Even if you don't see them,
they are always there.
It's just like me.
Even if you don't see me...
my love is always with you.