A Pigeon Sat On A Branch Reflecting On Existence (2014) Movie Script
1
STUDIO 24 PRESENTS
A PIGEON SAT ON A BRANCH
REFLECTING ON EXISTENCE
THE FINAL PART OF A TRILOGY
ABOUT BEING A HUMAN BEING
THREE MEETINGS WITH DEATH
MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 1
MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 2
- Hello.
- Hi.
My mom is in here,
I'm her eldest son.
Your siblings are in there,
and you're welcome to join them.
Thanks a lot,
I'm a little late too.
- No worries.
- Thanks a lot.
- Hello.
- Hello.
How are things progressing?
The doctor said
nothing will happen tonight.
So we could go home,
he said.
What's this? The handbag?
How did she get it?
- Who brought it here?
- I did.
- Why?
- Mom wanted me to.
- What do you mean, "wanted"?
- She wanted me to.
She thinks she can take
the handbag with her to heaven.
Yes, she really wants
to take it with her.
You look drunk.
And you're mean as always.
Well, well.
You know what's in that bag,
don't you?
Sure.
All her jewellery.
Dad's gold watch,
wedding ring
and cuff links.
And I know
there's an envelope, too.
With the money
she made from the car.
- More than $70,000!
- Yes, I know.
There is no way.
We just can't leave it here.
- You have to understand that?
- You're welcome to try.
I know you're going
to heaven, mom.
You were always kind...
just like dad.
He's there now...
waiting for you.
He wasn't allowed
to take his gold watch.
There you go.
You don't get to take this
to heaven, mom.
No, you don't.
It's not allowed.
You will get new jewellery
in heaven.
You don't get to take this!
That's not the way things work!
ENCONTRO COM A MORTE N 3
This doesn't look good.
No.
Is there any use
calling for a helicopter?
No.
He's gone.
We've been trying
to revive him...
for half an hour.
There's just no way.
He's dead as a stone.
Well then,
we'll need a stretcher...
and then take him
to a vacant cabin.
- If there is an empty cabin.
- Yes, there is.
- May I ask a question?
- Go ahead.
What do we do with this now?
What do you mean?
Well, he's already paid.
Good question.
We can't charge for it twice.
- Try giving it away.
- Yes, alright.
Does anybody want this?
A shrimp sandwich
with a draught beer, for free.
I can take the beer.
Go ahead, sir.
Thanks a lot.
Yes.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
Yes.
Well, hello.
Maybe you recognize me.
Some of you might.
I'm a sea captain,
or rather I used to be.
For nearly 15 years....
I captained one of
our larger ferries.
But not anymore.
I had to quit,
because I felt dizzy
every time we left shore.
A form of seasickness,
you could say.
So now I'm here.
The thing is
my sister's husband,
my brother-in-law,
as they call it,
is ill.
He's a hairdresser,
this is his salon.
I've promised
to help him run it
until he feels better.
Try to, at least.
I kind of learned to cut hair
in the military.
It's been many years now,
but I do remember some of it.
I'll try at least.
Do the best I can.
What more can you do?
Hello?
Yes
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I said I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
- Hello, Nathan.
- Hello.
- How are things?
- I shouldn't complain.
- There are people worse off.
- That's true.
I thought you were getting
a haircut?
But you haven't?
- Maybe not.
- Why not?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Why not?
- I don't feel like it, alright?
- Why are you so angry?
I'm not angry.
Sure you are.
What have I done wrong?
You're acting
like a crybaby again.
What have I done wrong?
What's happened?
Why is he sad?
It's nothing.
He's just a damn crybaby.
Could I buy him a beer,
perhaps?
He shouldn't drink right now.
We're off on a customer visit.
- What line of work are you in?
- In the entertainment business.
We sell novelty items.
We want to help people
have fun.
- What funny stuff do you have?
- Vampire teeth.
Vampire teeth?
They've been popular
a long time now.
We also sell these laugh bags.
It's a classic.
Then, there's a new item
we have a lot of faith in.
- Should I show him?
- Yes, I think so.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
Hello, Ove Bergius here.
How are you doing?
I just wanted to check with you
about a possible
misunderstanding.
I've misinterpreted the date.
And quite possibly the time,
too.
I suspect
this may well be the case.
I'm outside the restaurant.
I've been in and asked them
several times
if someone has called
about a cancellation.
But they say no one has.
I'm sure it's
a misunderstanding on my part.
That's probably it,
unfortunately.
Well...
Could you possibly confirm
if I was the one
who has made a mistake
and got the date wrong
and maybe the time as well?
You can leave a message
on my answering machine...
in case I don't pick up.
I'm so sorry if this is
an inconvenience to you.
I wouldn't want that.
Thanks a lot.
Bye.
Yes?
We would like to show you
some of our products.
Okay.
One of our best selling items
for a while now...
are these vampire teeth...
With...
extra long fangs.
Could you show him, please?
That's enough.
Enough, he's seen it already.
Why are you so angry?
He's a little sensitive.
No I'm not, it's you
being mean all the time.
Then there's this true classic,
the laugh bag.
It always brings out smiles
at parties,
either at home
or in the office.
We want to help people
have fun.
And then there's this new item
we have a lot of faith in.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
Yes.
Excuse me.
How much is this one?
Listen guys,
I don't think this is for us, really.
But thanks for stopping by.
Thank you.
You have no messages.
Would you like another one?
Would you like another one?
- Would you like another one?
- Yes, of course I do.
- He's hard of hearing, poor man.
- He should be grateful.
That way he won't have
to listen to all the bullshit.
A bit a moody today, Gunnar?
What else could I be?
He's been a regular here...
for more than 60 years,
I think.
That's a lot of shots.
Yes, quite a few.
What would life be
without a shot...
or two?
- A horrible thought.
- Damn straight.
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
We with pockets
without shillings
We with pockets
without shillings
How can we pay
if we are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg?
How can we pay
if we are willing
How can we pay
if we are willing
We with pockets
without shillings
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg?
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
Good night, Arne.
Good night, Arne!
Good night!
- What?
- Good night!
Good night.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
Yes.
Do you want to say anything?
Tell them I'm also happy
to hear they're doing fine.
He says he's also happy
to hear you're doing fine.
Yes.
I caught it!
Yes, that's correct.
On April 16th,
you received two 10-packs
of vampire teeth, standard size,
and three 10-packs
with extra long fangs.
Yes, that is correct.
You also received
six Uncle One-Tooth.
I see three.
Have you sold the others?
Yes, we have.
- That was a while ago.
- Indeed.
- We haven't received payment.
- Indeed.
Why not?
I'm not sure.
Just a moment.
I'll ask my husband.
He says you'll have it
by next week.
- We don't believe that.
- No, we don't.
- We've sent four reminders.
- Indeed.
And we've called your answering
machine over and over again.
- We won't accept this.
- No, we won't.
Wait,
I'll talk to my husband again.
Just make them go away!
This won't do!
We won't accept this.
I have no money!
- I have no money!
- Then we'll take the masks back.
- We will take the masks.
- Please, don't.
I have no money!
Now it's Wilma's turn.
Welcome Wilma.
Stand right here.
- How do you feel?
- Fine.
Good.
- What are you doing for us?
- Reading a poem.
A poem? Okay.
- And who taught you that?
- I did myself.
You learned the poem yourself?
That was very good of you.
- What's the poem about?
- A bird.
It's about a bird?
- What kind of bird?
- A pigeon.
About a pigeon!
- And what did the pigeon do?
- It sat on a branch.
It sat on a branch?
- What did it do on the branch?
- It rested and reflected.
It rested and reflected?
- What did the pigeon reflect on?
- The fact that it had no money.
- What was that?
- The fact that it had no money.
That it had no money? Gosh.
- What happened then?
- It flew home.
And then it flew home? I see.
- Then the poem ends.
- And then the poem ends?
What a beautiful poem.
I say we give Wilma
a warm applause!
What the hell do you want?
- We're sort of lost.
- What? Turn the music down.
- What was that?
- We're lost.
- What do you mean, "lost"?
- We don't know where we are.
No?
We're looking for an address
that doesn't seem to exist.
Indeed.
We have the directions,
but they seem completely off.
Yeah, it's all wrong.
We're looking for a store
called Party.
Yeah.
The owner is called Bengtsson.
He owes us money.
Yeah, $13,800.
Really?
What line of work are you in?
- The entertainment business.
- Indeed.
We sell novelty items.
We want to help people
have fun.
So what kind of stuff
are you selling?
- We can show you.
- Alright.
One of our best selling items
for a while now
are these vampire teeth
with extra long fangs.
Then there's the classic
laugh bag.
Known to bring out a smile
at parties,
both at home or in the office.
We want people
to have a good time.
Then there's a new item
we have a lot of faith in.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
You there, get out.
You!
No women in the establishment.
Out!
No women in the establishment!
Listen up, goddammit.
No women in the establishment!
Out!
Out, damn it!
Provosts, forward!
Let that man taste the whip.
Show respect
to His Majesty the King.
That's right.
His Majesty the King
is thirsty.
Very thirsty.
His Majesty wants
something to drink.
That's right.
- Beer perhaps?
- No.
His Majesty prefers water.
Excuse me, sparkling water?
- Mineral water?
- Affirmative.
His Majesty the King
would appreciate it...
if that young man
filled the glass
for His Majesty the King.
That was good.
Splendid.
Now that sly Russians will
receive a proper walloping.
- They deserve to.
- Yes, your Majesty.
His Majesty thinks...
a man that young and handsome
belongs to the battlefield.
You can sleep
in the King's tent.
- Captain Bjlke!
- Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!
His Majesty the King
wishes to hear a song.
- Carry out!
- Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!
- Lieutenant Flask!
- Yes, Captain!
- Carry out marching song!
- Yes, Captain!
Company, marching song!
One, two, three, four...
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
as he's marching through smoke
on his road so long
Why can't we come in?
Only tenants have access.
Those are the rules.
Sorry.
But they are here.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm sure you know
why we are here.
Yes.
Who's signature is this?
It's mine.
Do you understand
what it is you've signed?
Well, yes.
It's an agreement, a contract.
You're required
to declare sales every month.
You haven't. Why not?
We've had some bad luck lately.
My partner had an accident.
He stepped out in the street
without looking
and got hit.
By a bicycle.
He hasn't been able to walk
since then.
And I haven't been
in the best of my health either.
We don't care
about your health.
We want to be paid
for our products.
- We're a bit short of money.
- Indeed.
We've been down on our luck.
Indeed.
We've been dealing with people
who don't pay.
Just like you two bastards!
- Can you open the door?
- You're not getting in here.
- Why not?
- You're drunk.
I haven't been drinking.
I can smell it
from a mile away.
- I just wanted to take a nap.
- Come back once you are sober.
You know the rules.
I haven't had a drop all day!
Damn.
- Rules are meant to be followed.
- Exactly.
Pay us what you owe us.
You have fourteen days.
Then there won't be
fun and games anymore!
- Did you understand?
- Yes.
It won't be fun
and games anymore.
It won't be fun
and games anymore.
Understood?
I was supposed to attend
a lecture tonight.
Major-General Sandberg...
would talk about
orderly withdrawal.
But when I got there,
it was cancelled, of course.
I left home...
early, of course.
I wanted to catch
the 7:22pm bus.
It started raining,
of course...
and I had no umbrella,
of course.
So I decided to hurry back home
and get it...
of course.
I figured it would be there.
But it wasn't, of course.
On my way to the bus stop
the rain got even heavier,
and I got soaking wet,
of course.
Next to the bus stop
I saw it stoping...
and leaving me behind.
So I missed it.
Of course.
So I had to walk my way,
of course.
When I arrived...
not a single person was there,
of course.
Just a note on the door...
saying it had been cancelled.
It was very unfortunate,
of course.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
Hi.
What are you doing?
Listening to this song.
It's so beautiful...
but horribly sad too.
What's horrible about it?
What he sings at the end.
That he's going to heaven
to meet his parents.
How horrible.
- Then why listen to it?
- I can't help it.
I've tried to stop,
but I can't.
You need to see a doctor.
This is not normal.
I'm actually worried about you.
So am I.
What's going on?
He can't get this song
out of his head.
- Do you feel troubled, Jonathan?
- Yes.
What's troubling you?
That I will have to meet
my parents again.
I don't get it.
My parents were very kind.
But I don't want to meet them
again in heaven.
Do you have to?
I hope not.
Shut the door if you're
playing music this late.
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
I've come to realize something.
I realize I've been greedy
my whole life.
Ungenerous.
And that's why
I've become so unhappy.
I've been greedy all my life.
Ungenerous.
And that's why
I've become so unhappy.
Show respect
to His Majesty the King!
His Majesty the King
needs to use your bathroom.
- Where is it?
- The green door, over there.
Your Majesty,
allow me to inspect it.
Your Majesty,
I'm afraid it's taken.
Too bad.
- Half the kingdom is lost.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
If we had only had
more horses...
And if it hadn't rained...
Rained? Did it rain?
I don't think so,
but it could have.
You never know what
that sly Russians are up to.
If they hadn't armed themselves
in secret, that sly Russians,
we would have beaten them.
They armed themselves
in secret.
They must have.
Is that so?
You were widowed at Poltava.
You were widowed at Poltava.
A widow's veil was your gift.
You were widowed at Poltava.
A widow's veil
was your gift, too.
You were all widowed
at Poltava.
Widows' veils were your gifts.
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
as he marched
through smoke
on his road so long
What now?
- "What now?"
- Yes.
I'm the one who's hurt.
I'm supposed to wait for you?
No, what do you mean?
You're too slow.
You look like you're sleeping
while you walk.
You walk like a goddam zombie.
Like this...
No, I don't.
I walked like this...
casually.
You contradict
whatever I say.
- No, I don't.
- You just did it again.
You do it all the time.
I'm getting bloody tired of it.
And you have no business sense.
All we have are debts.
- But it was your idea.
- My idea?
What the hell does it matter?
You have no business sense anyway.
I'm so damn tired
of all this crap.
I don't want to do this
anymore.
But it was your idea.
It was your idea.
It was your idea.
It was your idea!
It was your idea.
She had stone in her shoe.
She had stone in her shoe.
- Yes, I saw that.
- That was nice.
What's nice about a stone
in your shoe?
It was nice
when she took it out.
If you don't mind me asking...
Could I interest you
in some novelty items?
I have a vampire teeth
you can have at half price.
You have no messages.
Jonathan.
Jonathan.
Listen, I'm sorry.
Very sorry.
Can you hear me? I'm sorry.
I've been mean.
I know that.
I regret it, Jonathan.
I really do.
Forgive me, Jonathan.
Can you forgive me?
It would make me happy
if you did, Jonathan.
I want us to be friends again.
You're the only friend I have,
Jonathan.
Otherwise, I'd be so lonely.
That can't be.
We have to stick together.
You've been mean.
I know, Jonathan.
- But I won't be from now on.
- Good.
We should get some sleep now,
Jonathan.
So we can do
big business tomorrow.
Good night.
Can you be quiet down there?
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
Today I feel kind.
Damn kind.
Yes.
Well, here we have only 3C.
Yes.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I said I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
Yes.
What now?
What's wrong?
I thought
of something horrible.
Something horrible.
And I was involved.
- Involved in what?
- That horrible thing.
Explain yourself.
Have you been dreaming?
Was it a dream?
I'm not sure.
But it felt
like it had happened.
That's what scares me.
It was so horrible!
And no one has asked
for forgiveness, not even me.
No one has asked for forgiveness.
So what happened?
It's so horrible
I don't dare telling.
Then don't, you stubborn fool.
I can't make sense of you.
We're supposed to do business
tomorrow, we've decided.
Don't you want
to help people have fun?
Yes, I know.
Crybaby.
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
What the hell are you doing?
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
I don't understand
what you're getting at.
He's just being
a little philosophical.
Alright.
But should we discuss this
in the middle of the night?
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
Good night then.
Good night.
And it's already
Wednesday again.
- Is it Wednesday today?
- Yes.
Is it Wednesday today?
It is.
I could swear it was Thursday.
But it's not.
- It sure isn't.
- No.
But it felt like Thursday.
You can't feel what day it is.
That's impossible.
You have to keep track of that.
Yesterday was Tuesday...
today is Wednesday.
And tomorrow will be Thursday.
If you don't keep track of that,
chaos will reign.
That's right.
And the Wednesday
is already gone...
Bye.
Translation: Orvar Sfstrm
STUDIO 24 PRESENTS
A PIGEON SAT ON A BRANCH
REFLECTING ON EXISTENCE
THE FINAL PART OF A TRILOGY
ABOUT BEING A HUMAN BEING
THREE MEETINGS WITH DEATH
MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 1
MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 2
- Hello.
- Hi.
My mom is in here,
I'm her eldest son.
Your siblings are in there,
and you're welcome to join them.
Thanks a lot,
I'm a little late too.
- No worries.
- Thanks a lot.
- Hello.
- Hello.
How are things progressing?
The doctor said
nothing will happen tonight.
So we could go home,
he said.
What's this? The handbag?
How did she get it?
- Who brought it here?
- I did.
- Why?
- Mom wanted me to.
- What do you mean, "wanted"?
- She wanted me to.
She thinks she can take
the handbag with her to heaven.
Yes, she really wants
to take it with her.
You look drunk.
And you're mean as always.
Well, well.
You know what's in that bag,
don't you?
Sure.
All her jewellery.
Dad's gold watch,
wedding ring
and cuff links.
And I know
there's an envelope, too.
With the money
she made from the car.
- More than $70,000!
- Yes, I know.
There is no way.
We just can't leave it here.
- You have to understand that?
- You're welcome to try.
I know you're going
to heaven, mom.
You were always kind...
just like dad.
He's there now...
waiting for you.
He wasn't allowed
to take his gold watch.
There you go.
You don't get to take this
to heaven, mom.
No, you don't.
It's not allowed.
You will get new jewellery
in heaven.
You don't get to take this!
That's not the way things work!
ENCONTRO COM A MORTE N 3
This doesn't look good.
No.
Is there any use
calling for a helicopter?
No.
He's gone.
We've been trying
to revive him...
for half an hour.
There's just no way.
He's dead as a stone.
Well then,
we'll need a stretcher...
and then take him
to a vacant cabin.
- If there is an empty cabin.
- Yes, there is.
- May I ask a question?
- Go ahead.
What do we do with this now?
What do you mean?
Well, he's already paid.
Good question.
We can't charge for it twice.
- Try giving it away.
- Yes, alright.
Does anybody want this?
A shrimp sandwich
with a draught beer, for free.
I can take the beer.
Go ahead, sir.
Thanks a lot.
Yes.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
Yes.
Well, hello.
Maybe you recognize me.
Some of you might.
I'm a sea captain,
or rather I used to be.
For nearly 15 years....
I captained one of
our larger ferries.
But not anymore.
I had to quit,
because I felt dizzy
every time we left shore.
A form of seasickness,
you could say.
So now I'm here.
The thing is
my sister's husband,
my brother-in-law,
as they call it,
is ill.
He's a hairdresser,
this is his salon.
I've promised
to help him run it
until he feels better.
Try to, at least.
I kind of learned to cut hair
in the military.
It's been many years now,
but I do remember some of it.
I'll try at least.
Do the best I can.
What more can you do?
Hello?
Yes
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I said I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
- Hello, Nathan.
- Hello.
- How are things?
- I shouldn't complain.
- There are people worse off.
- That's true.
I thought you were getting
a haircut?
But you haven't?
- Maybe not.
- Why not?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Why not?
- I don't feel like it, alright?
- Why are you so angry?
I'm not angry.
Sure you are.
What have I done wrong?
You're acting
like a crybaby again.
What have I done wrong?
What's happened?
Why is he sad?
It's nothing.
He's just a damn crybaby.
Could I buy him a beer,
perhaps?
He shouldn't drink right now.
We're off on a customer visit.
- What line of work are you in?
- In the entertainment business.
We sell novelty items.
We want to help people
have fun.
- What funny stuff do you have?
- Vampire teeth.
Vampire teeth?
They've been popular
a long time now.
We also sell these laugh bags.
It's a classic.
Then, there's a new item
we have a lot of faith in.
- Should I show him?
- Yes, I think so.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
Hello, Ove Bergius here.
How are you doing?
I just wanted to check with you
about a possible
misunderstanding.
I've misinterpreted the date.
And quite possibly the time,
too.
I suspect
this may well be the case.
I'm outside the restaurant.
I've been in and asked them
several times
if someone has called
about a cancellation.
But they say no one has.
I'm sure it's
a misunderstanding on my part.
That's probably it,
unfortunately.
Well...
Could you possibly confirm
if I was the one
who has made a mistake
and got the date wrong
and maybe the time as well?
You can leave a message
on my answering machine...
in case I don't pick up.
I'm so sorry if this is
an inconvenience to you.
I wouldn't want that.
Thanks a lot.
Bye.
Yes?
We would like to show you
some of our products.
Okay.
One of our best selling items
for a while now...
are these vampire teeth...
With...
extra long fangs.
Could you show him, please?
That's enough.
Enough, he's seen it already.
Why are you so angry?
He's a little sensitive.
No I'm not, it's you
being mean all the time.
Then there's this true classic,
the laugh bag.
It always brings out smiles
at parties,
either at home
or in the office.
We want to help people
have fun.
And then there's this new item
we have a lot of faith in.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
Yes.
Excuse me.
How much is this one?
Listen guys,
I don't think this is for us, really.
But thanks for stopping by.
Thank you.
You have no messages.
Would you like another one?
Would you like another one?
- Would you like another one?
- Yes, of course I do.
- He's hard of hearing, poor man.
- He should be grateful.
That way he won't have
to listen to all the bullshit.
A bit a moody today, Gunnar?
What else could I be?
He's been a regular here...
for more than 60 years,
I think.
That's a lot of shots.
Yes, quite a few.
What would life be
without a shot...
or two?
- A horrible thought.
- Damn straight.
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
A shilling for a shot glass
is the price you have to pay
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
We with pockets
without shillings
We with pockets
without shillings
How can we pay
if we are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg?
How can we pay
if we are willing
How can we pay
if we are willing
We with pockets
without shillings
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg?
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
With kisses you shall pay
if you are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
With kisses we shall pay
since we are willing
At the Halta Lotta's Krog
in Gothenburg
Good night, Arne.
Good night, Arne!
Good night!
- What?
- Good night!
Good night.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine!
Yes.
Do you want to say anything?
Tell them I'm also happy
to hear they're doing fine.
He says he's also happy
to hear you're doing fine.
Yes.
I caught it!
Yes, that's correct.
On April 16th,
you received two 10-packs
of vampire teeth, standard size,
and three 10-packs
with extra long fangs.
Yes, that is correct.
You also received
six Uncle One-Tooth.
I see three.
Have you sold the others?
Yes, we have.
- That was a while ago.
- Indeed.
- We haven't received payment.
- Indeed.
Why not?
I'm not sure.
Just a moment.
I'll ask my husband.
He says you'll have it
by next week.
- We don't believe that.
- No, we don't.
- We've sent four reminders.
- Indeed.
And we've called your answering
machine over and over again.
- We won't accept this.
- No, we won't.
Wait,
I'll talk to my husband again.
Just make them go away!
This won't do!
We won't accept this.
I have no money!
- I have no money!
- Then we'll take the masks back.
- We will take the masks.
- Please, don't.
I have no money!
Now it's Wilma's turn.
Welcome Wilma.
Stand right here.
- How do you feel?
- Fine.
Good.
- What are you doing for us?
- Reading a poem.
A poem? Okay.
- And who taught you that?
- I did myself.
You learned the poem yourself?
That was very good of you.
- What's the poem about?
- A bird.
It's about a bird?
- What kind of bird?
- A pigeon.
About a pigeon!
- And what did the pigeon do?
- It sat on a branch.
It sat on a branch?
- What did it do on the branch?
- It rested and reflected.
It rested and reflected?
- What did the pigeon reflect on?
- The fact that it had no money.
- What was that?
- The fact that it had no money.
That it had no money? Gosh.
- What happened then?
- It flew home.
And then it flew home? I see.
- Then the poem ends.
- And then the poem ends?
What a beautiful poem.
I say we give Wilma
a warm applause!
What the hell do you want?
- We're sort of lost.
- What? Turn the music down.
- What was that?
- We're lost.
- What do you mean, "lost"?
- We don't know where we are.
No?
We're looking for an address
that doesn't seem to exist.
Indeed.
We have the directions,
but they seem completely off.
Yeah, it's all wrong.
We're looking for a store
called Party.
Yeah.
The owner is called Bengtsson.
He owes us money.
Yeah, $13,800.
Really?
What line of work are you in?
- The entertainment business.
- Indeed.
We sell novelty items.
We want to help people
have fun.
So what kind of stuff
are you selling?
- We can show you.
- Alright.
One of our best selling items
for a while now
are these vampire teeth
with extra long fangs.
Then there's the classic
laugh bag.
Known to bring out a smile
at parties,
both at home or in the office.
We want people
to have a good time.
Then there's a new item
we have a lot of faith in.
The Uncle One-Tooth.
You there, get out.
You!
No women in the establishment.
Out!
No women in the establishment!
Listen up, goddammit.
No women in the establishment!
Out!
Out, damn it!
Provosts, forward!
Let that man taste the whip.
Show respect
to His Majesty the King.
That's right.
His Majesty the King
is thirsty.
Very thirsty.
His Majesty wants
something to drink.
That's right.
- Beer perhaps?
- No.
His Majesty prefers water.
Excuse me, sparkling water?
- Mineral water?
- Affirmative.
His Majesty the King
would appreciate it...
if that young man
filled the glass
for His Majesty the King.
That was good.
Splendid.
Now that sly Russians will
receive a proper walloping.
- They deserve to.
- Yes, your Majesty.
His Majesty thinks...
a man that young and handsome
belongs to the battlefield.
You can sleep
in the King's tent.
- Captain Bjlke!
- Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!
His Majesty the King
wishes to hear a song.
- Carry out!
- Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!
- Lieutenant Flask!
- Yes, Captain!
- Carry out marching song!
- Yes, Captain!
Company, marching song!
One, two, three, four...
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
is a hundred thousand strong
as he's marching through smoke
on his road so long
Why can't we come in?
Only tenants have access.
Those are the rules.
Sorry.
But they are here.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm sure you know
why we are here.
Yes.
Who's signature is this?
It's mine.
Do you understand
what it is you've signed?
Well, yes.
It's an agreement, a contract.
You're required
to declare sales every month.
You haven't. Why not?
We've had some bad luck lately.
My partner had an accident.
He stepped out in the street
without looking
and got hit.
By a bicycle.
He hasn't been able to walk
since then.
And I haven't been
in the best of my health either.
We don't care
about your health.
We want to be paid
for our products.
- We're a bit short of money.
- Indeed.
We've been down on our luck.
Indeed.
We've been dealing with people
who don't pay.
Just like you two bastards!
- Can you open the door?
- You're not getting in here.
- Why not?
- You're drunk.
I haven't been drinking.
I can smell it
from a mile away.
- I just wanted to take a nap.
- Come back once you are sober.
You know the rules.
I haven't had a drop all day!
Damn.
- Rules are meant to be followed.
- Exactly.
Pay us what you owe us.
You have fourteen days.
Then there won't be
fun and games anymore!
- Did you understand?
- Yes.
It won't be fun
and games anymore.
It won't be fun
and games anymore.
Understood?
I was supposed to attend
a lecture tonight.
Major-General Sandberg...
would talk about
orderly withdrawal.
But when I got there,
it was cancelled, of course.
I left home...
early, of course.
I wanted to catch
the 7:22pm bus.
It started raining,
of course...
and I had no umbrella,
of course.
So I decided to hurry back home
and get it...
of course.
I figured it would be there.
But it wasn't, of course.
On my way to the bus stop
the rain got even heavier,
and I got soaking wet,
of course.
Next to the bus stop
I saw it stoping...
and leaving me behind.
So I missed it.
Of course.
So I had to walk my way,
of course.
When I arrived...
not a single person was there,
of course.
Just a note on the door...
saying it had been cancelled.
It was very unfortunate,
of course.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
Hi.
What are you doing?
Listening to this song.
It's so beautiful...
but horribly sad too.
What's horrible about it?
What he sings at the end.
That he's going to heaven
to meet his parents.
How horrible.
- Then why listen to it?
- I can't help it.
I've tried to stop,
but I can't.
You need to see a doctor.
This is not normal.
I'm actually worried about you.
So am I.
What's going on?
He can't get this song
out of his head.
- Do you feel troubled, Jonathan?
- Yes.
What's troubling you?
That I will have to meet
my parents again.
I don't get it.
My parents were very kind.
But I don't want to meet them
again in heaven.
Do you have to?
I hope not.
Shut the door if you're
playing music this late.
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
I've come to realize something.
I realize I've been greedy
my whole life.
Ungenerous.
And that's why
I've become so unhappy.
I've been greedy all my life.
Ungenerous.
And that's why
I've become so unhappy.
Show respect
to His Majesty the King!
His Majesty the King
needs to use your bathroom.
- Where is it?
- The green door, over there.
Your Majesty,
allow me to inspect it.
Your Majesty,
I'm afraid it's taken.
Too bad.
- Half the kingdom is lost.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
If we had only had
more horses...
And if it hadn't rained...
Rained? Did it rain?
I don't think so,
but it could have.
You never know what
that sly Russians are up to.
If they hadn't armed themselves
in secret, that sly Russians,
we would have beaten them.
They armed themselves
in secret.
They must have.
Is that so?
You were widowed at Poltava.
You were widowed at Poltava.
A widow's veil was your gift.
You were widowed at Poltava.
A widow's veil
was your gift, too.
You were all widowed
at Poltava.
Widows' veils were your gifts.
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
The army of Charles XII
was a hundred thousand strong
as he marched
through smoke
on his road so long
What now?
- "What now?"
- Yes.
I'm the one who's hurt.
I'm supposed to wait for you?
No, what do you mean?
You're too slow.
You look like you're sleeping
while you walk.
You walk like a goddam zombie.
Like this...
No, I don't.
I walked like this...
casually.
You contradict
whatever I say.
- No, I don't.
- You just did it again.
You do it all the time.
I'm getting bloody tired of it.
And you have no business sense.
All we have are debts.
- But it was your idea.
- My idea?
What the hell does it matter?
You have no business sense anyway.
I'm so damn tired
of all this crap.
I don't want to do this
anymore.
But it was your idea.
It was your idea.
It was your idea.
It was your idea!
It was your idea.
She had stone in her shoe.
She had stone in her shoe.
- Yes, I saw that.
- That was nice.
What's nice about a stone
in your shoe?
It was nice
when she took it out.
If you don't mind me asking...
Could I interest you
in some novelty items?
I have a vampire teeth
you can have at half price.
You have no messages.
Jonathan.
Jonathan.
Listen, I'm sorry.
Very sorry.
Can you hear me? I'm sorry.
I've been mean.
I know that.
I regret it, Jonathan.
I really do.
Forgive me, Jonathan.
Can you forgive me?
It would make me happy
if you did, Jonathan.
I want us to be friends again.
You're the only friend I have,
Jonathan.
Otherwise, I'd be so lonely.
That can't be.
We have to stick together.
You've been mean.
I know, Jonathan.
- But I won't be from now on.
- Good.
We should get some sleep now,
Jonathan.
So we can do
big business tomorrow.
Good night.
Can you be quiet down there?
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
Today I feel kind.
Damn kind.
Yes.
Well, here we have only 3C.
Yes.
I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
I said I'm happy to hear
you're doing fine.
Yes.
What now?
What's wrong?
I thought
of something horrible.
Something horrible.
And I was involved.
- Involved in what?
- That horrible thing.
Explain yourself.
Have you been dreaming?
Was it a dream?
I'm not sure.
But it felt
like it had happened.
That's what scares me.
It was so horrible!
And no one has asked
for forgiveness, not even me.
No one has asked for forgiveness.
So what happened?
It's so horrible
I don't dare telling.
Then don't, you stubborn fool.
I can't make sense of you.
We're supposed to do business
tomorrow, we've decided.
Don't you want
to help people have fun?
Yes, I know.
Crybaby.
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
What the hell are you doing?
Is it right using people
only for your own pleasure?
I don't understand
what you're getting at.
He's just being
a little philosophical.
Alright.
But should we discuss this
in the middle of the night?
Some people get up early
for work tomorrow.
Good night then.
Good night.
And it's already
Wednesday again.
- Is it Wednesday today?
- Yes.
Is it Wednesday today?
It is.
I could swear it was Thursday.
But it's not.
- It sure isn't.
- No.
But it felt like Thursday.
You can't feel what day it is.
That's impossible.
You have to keep track of that.
Yesterday was Tuesday...
today is Wednesday.
And tomorrow will be Thursday.
If you don't keep track of that,
chaos will reign.
That's right.
And the Wednesday
is already gone...
Bye.
Translation: Orvar Sfstrm