A Spell on You (2015) Movie Script
1
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)
Soft
Fragile eyes
Reflex smile
White sheets enfold you
So new
To this world
Where have you been
Oh, sexy Becks,
can you fill in one of
these and give it to Steve?
Apparently someone's got to go today.
Becks, have you been in yet?
Uh, no, why, has everyone else?
No, there's only three left though.
Uh, who?
Uh, him,
him.
To be honest with you, I
think it's probably fine.
If you haven't got an email by now
I think you're safe as houses.
(CHIMING)
Oh, uh.
You'll be all right,
you'll be all right.
Just smile through it,
you work really hard.
Thanks, okay.
(KNOCKING)
Yep, come in.
Please um, have a seat.
Thanks.
So, Rebecca Louise Williams.
Thank you for filling in
the DISC analysis form.
Uh, hopefully these things are
a benefit for both parties.
You know the soap.
Well, you've been with
us for three months now.
Um, what I would say
is that your strengths
naturally tend to lie in the S
and the C end of the spectrum.
Um, you're steady, conscientious.
All these things are very
healthy and positive things
for an office work space like this one.
Uh, what I would say, however, is
we do need to have a look at
the D and the I going forward.
Um, it's not exactly been a
banner year for the company
so I am anticipating some restructuring
later in the year, so.
We'll get together and have another chat
in three months' time, if that's okay.
But for now we're very
pleased with your progress.
Thank you.
Great thanks.
I will work on the D and I.
Okay.
Becks.
Barry's in there at the moment.
[BECKY] Oh, no poor Barry.
They can't get rid of Barry.
Well, if it's not Barry then who is it?
[VICKI] Okay, oh, look, he's smiling.
Oh, he's okay, thank God.
He's coming.
Oh, you all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Kingdom's agreed to
come to my leaving party.
Will you guys will all be there
and everybody in the office, yeah?
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
(SOFT MUSIC)
All right, five o'clock,
I'm going to Barry's.
Becks, you coming?
Yeah, I.
Well, I'll see you down there.
Come on, big boy, you coming out?
I might go, I'm not sure.
Mate, you ready, we've
got to go to football.
Ahh, football, sorry.
You've got to be joking!
I'm sorry.
Are you serious?
You owe me a drink, babe.
I know, I owe you soon, soon.
You ready?
Let's go.
Thanks fuck!
Turn that frown upside-down
And we're so low
And you're so strong
[BECKY] Are you eating toast again?
Did mum leave you tea?
No.
Mum and Terry left you a note.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Stay, 15, 16, 17, 18.
Olly, you've used all.
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
Shut up.
Hi, Tina, it's Becky, Diane's
daughter from next door.
And this is my brother Olly.
I think you know him already.
Oh, hi, Olly.
I've been called out on some really
important work drinks tonight.
I was just wondering if you
mind watching Olly for me.
Oh, sorry, love, I can't.
I've got people around myself.
Oh, that's fine, he
can look after himself.
He's a really good boy.
It's just if you can
keep an eye out for him.
All right, I'll keep an eye out for him.
Mom, I'm hungry.
Tyler, will you get to bed now?
Right, well, have a nice evening, Becky.
Okay, bye-bye, thanks, Tina.
Have a nice evening, thanks, okay, bye.
Come on.
(BRAKES SQUEAKING)
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
All right, Steve?
Becky, what time do you call this?
Oh, I was just at home.
Steve, what's with the, uh,
you look like you've been
to a wedding or something.
No, no, I mean, I didn't mean.
No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
Are the others inside?
They are, yes.
It's about to get messy,
so I'm gonna scooch off.
Yeah, all right.
Have a good evening.
(DANCE MUSIC)
Oh my God, look at you.
You look gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hey.
Hi, yeah good.
I like your dress.
Oh thank you.
Thanks, I just, I didn't
think you were coming.
Coming out?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, I wasn't gonna,
but I played football
with the lads.
Yes.
Yeah, because I thought
you might be coming,
so I told Vicki to mention it, you know.
Yeah, no um, that's cool.
Yeah, but you look very nice.
Thank you.
Oh, look at this!
Oh, Barry, you demon, come on.
Becky made it.
Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky!
Barry, Barry, Barry.
[BARRY] Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, shots time, shots time!
Is this mine?
One for you.
One for you.
Just so you know,
you're doing two at least.
I don't want to do one, no.
[BARRY] Shots time, shots time.
Salt, salt, salt, salt, salt.
I think you ought to slow down.
Three, two, one, go!
I've got it all down myself.
Ugh, ooh.
I could get that.
- Barry.
- Did you like it?
No, no do you?
[BECKY] Yeah.
[HIM] Is that your favorite?
All right, you know what I want?
Excuse me, if you don't mind.
Come on big boy.
No, no, no.
[CARLY] Come on, you're dancing with me.
No, you promised, you promised earlier.
Come on, you've got to.
[HIM] Okay, we'll get in one dance.
Yeah, but just me and you for now.
Come on, come on.
(DANCE MUSIC)
Was Becky wearing that at work?
[VICKI] No, no.
Were you wearing that at work?
I was, yes, don't you remember?
Is somebody else driving, who's driving?
[VICKI] Oh, you know!
[HIM] Hey, come dance with me.
What?
Come on, me and you.
Come on, I want to see the booty shake.
What are you talking about?
I'm a really bad dancer.
No, we're dancing.
I'm a really, really bad dancer.
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
10, nine, eight
Seven, six, five
Four, three, two, one
[VICKI] Oh, Barry,
Barry, come on, up you get.
[BARRY] I just fell.
[VICKI] Come on, sit down.
[CARLY] Barry, seriously.
I just fell.
No, I fell, yeah.
More shots.
Yeah, I just fell down.
[CARLY] You seriously
don't need any more alcohol.
I only fell down.
Seriously.
Do you need some water?
No, chips.
Cheesy chips?
Cheesy chips.
Chips, chips, chips.
Oh yeah, chips.
Come on, can you walk?
[BARRY] Yeah, yeah, yeah, chips.
Right, I need my bag and shit.
Thank you.
Good night, guys.
So, um,
I'm gonna head home.
Yeah?
[HIM] Yeah, I probably should.
Um, well, I'm gonna get that cab, so.
Well, I live the same way, so I should.
Yeah, well, come, totally, totally.
Yeah?
Yeah?
We'll split it, we will split it.
Split it.
You all right?
[HIM] You all right?
(LAUGHING)
Um, okay, can we...
Heading back to yours.
Whoo, party!
Come on, come on!
I got sick on my shirt.
Uh, so yeah, everyone
just comes through this way.
Is this the bathroom?
No, no, no, that's my brothers room.
That's Olly's.
Sorry, that.
Shh.
It's fine, he's asleep.
He's fine, yeah.
The kitchen's just that
way, so if you just...
Yeah, go through there.
Um, oh, let me get you, let me try.
There's some kind of drink.
Yeah, yeah, we've got, uh.
Will this be, I don't know.
Uh, glasses.
Party at Becksies, party at Becksies.
Shots, shots.
Um, everyone, mugs all right?
[BARRY] Oh yeah.
[VICKI] Perfect, perfect.
[BARRY] Mug shots.
Here we go, glass, glass.
[VICKI] Do you wanna do the honors?
No, I'm good, I'm good
Okay.
(LAUGHING)
[VICKI] Party at Becksies!
[CARLY] I'll have one too!
Shh, yeah, yeah.
Mm hmm.
(GRUNTING)
Ooh.
I couldn't swallow it!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, sorry about that, we
don't have anything else.
[CARLY] Can we take it through?
Yeah, yeah, finish
it, honestly, finish it.
Okay.
[BECKY] The lounge is
just, um, just there.
[CARLY] Not the bedroom, Barry.
Do you want, um, is there
anything I can get you.
No, um.
You can explain something to me though.
Yeah, what?
Um, what the hell
is this?
The Book of English
Magic, by Philip Carr-Gomm
and Richard, I can't pronounce that.
Heygate.
Ah, what is it?
Are you a witch?
Obviously I'm not a witch.
What are you...
[HIM] Uh, explain the book.
Well, no, I just, I
got that when I was a kid
from my granddad, and I just really,
I like fairies.
'Cause you're a witch.
Can I have that back, please?
No, tell me what it is.
No, come on, please?
Can I just have that, please?
No, come on, witchy, tell me what it is.
[BECKY] Witchy, I'm not.
Well, tell me.
It's completely unfair.
That's from when I was a kid!
A kid, okay, okay, okay.
Ugh.
Let me read, come on,
you put the page down.
Let me read it.
Let me read it.
"On a Friday evening at full moon,
"throw salt into a fire
"and carve your lover's
name into an onion."
Who's your lover, is
it Barry, is it Steve?
It is me?
Oh, come on, look, this is why I like you.
This is weird, I've never seen
this before, but it's cute.
Can you give it back, please?
Yeah, come on get it.
You know, it's a full moon tonight.
Um,
should we, can you just wait one minute?
Do you mind?
I just need a minute, actually.
One minute, just wait there.
I'll be back.
I'll be back out, sorry.
Just give me a minute.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Oh.
Oh, hi, Beck, sorry, you're up.
We thought you'd gone to bed.
Carly said you might have gone to bed.
No, I was just, um, um, phone call.
Oh, well, we've ordered a cab, babe,
'cause we thought you'd gone
to bed, so we've gotta go.
Sorry.
Okay, uh, why, stay for another drink.
I've got loads, there's
loads of drink in there.
Yeah, no, I think we've got time for...
No, our cab is here, babe.
You know, meter's running, so.
But you know, I had such
a good time, thank you.
See you Monday.
Are you sure you don't
want to have a drink?
I mean...
Uh, no, I think I should leave it.
I mean, I got pretty tired waiting.
No, I've got stuff,
I've got cycle tomorrow.
Thanks, I'll see you Monday.
(SOFT GUITAR MUSIC)
Meet me in the morning
When you rise
We'll walk through the orchard
In the sunshine
You can hold my hand
It would be all right
And we'll stay outside
until the moonlight
We ain't got no plans
Don't have no foresight
In a semicircle to watch the sunlight
You look oh so pretty in the weather
(GUN FIRING)
Olly, was, um, was there
anyone here when you got up?
I don't know.
I'm just asking.
Have you been eating crisps for breakfast?
They were already there.
Well, that's not the point, is it?
I told you, do not eat
crisps for breakfast.
Eat something healthy.
It's not good for you.
Get off the computer!
What, don't look at me like that!
Get off the computer.
We're going to go to the park, all right?
Can you just get up and
go and brush your teeth?
Olly?
Olly?
Thank you.
Hey.
Sexy Becks, I fell
asleep at yours on Friday.
When I woke up, Carly wasn't there,
but Barry was, and you know what I'm like.
I just wanted to check nothing
happened 'cause I think.
(KNOCKING)
Vicki can I...
Talk to you in a bit, okay?
[STEVE] Why are you still here?
I'm not, I am going.
I just had to sort one
last thing, I'm gone.
All right, well, look, happy hunting.
Get out there and knock them dead.
Sweet, cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
See you in a couple weeks, mate.
Hey, sweetheart.
You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
[CARLY] How you doing?
Mm hmm.
Thanks for Friday night, by the way.
I had such a good time.
Oh good.
I'm just a bit tired,
feeling the effects.
But, uh, yeah, it was really good.
So, um, did you have a good one?
Mmm, yeah, no, it was wicked.
Good night.
Oh I almost forgot.
We're supposed to get those reports out
sort of two past three,
so I'm going to need that
in about half an hour.
But you know, there's no
rush or anything, okay?
You gonna help me today?
No, I'm kinda bored.
Used to help Gran, though.
Yeah, but Gran is dead.
Right.
Hello.
[BECKY] Hi.
[GARDNER] Hi.
[OLLY] Hi.
Smile, maybe?
Hi.
Hi.
You gonna come?
[OLLY] No thank you.
Our bodies
Look into our bodies
Consider us
And cover us in angel dust
And we won't
Waste our lives
Hollywood
We could live in Hollywood
Or anywhere
As long as we are safe and cared for
And we won't waste our lives
No we don't
Waste our lives
You're what we came for
(CALMING MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(HUMMING MUSIC)
Becky Williams, what are you up to?
Hi, Steve.
Yeah, um,
yeah, I'm just actually looking
for a toy for my brother, yeah.
Okay, what, in here?
Yeah, I know.
Okay, well, how old is he?
Um, he's 11.
Hmmm.
Well, it's a bit young
for 11, to be honest.
Ah, I might have to go somewhere else.
Well, nice seeing you.
Very nice to see you, yeah, yeah.
Have a lovely weekend.
Sorry, I'm in your way.
Oh, that's all right, oops, sorry.
Good to see you.
Oops.
Becky.
Becky, just hang on a sec.
Sorry, I just remembered.
There is actually this fantastic toy
shop where you should go.
Honestly, it's unlike
anywhere else in town.
It's, it's kind of,
problem is it's a bit tucked away.
It's behind the railway station and
do you know what?
I'm actually going that way.
If you, I mean, I could
show you, if you fancy.
Uh, yeah, yeah, okay,
I'm going that way too, so.
You won't regret this, honestly.
I used to, um,
I used to go there when I was a kid.
- Oh, yeah.
- When I was about 11.
[BECKY] Okay.
This is where I used to go.
[BECKY] So you know it really well then.
You've lived here all your...
I've lived here all my life, yeah, so.
There was a time when you
could walk up the side street
and get a good old-fashioned
cup of English tea, you know?
Nowadays it's just, you
know, coffee, coffee, coffee.
Coffee here, coffee there.
I got coffee coming out my ears.
Oh, uh, you're not a coffee drinker?
Well, I mean, I like coffee.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just, it's just
Reading, like you know,
everywhere in this country these days,
it's just become enslaved
to the conquistadors
of the chain stores, you know?
You may be thinking,
"How am I possibly gonna
find a toy for my brother
"which isn't exactly like every other toy
"owned by every other kid in this store?"
You stick with me 'cause
I am gonna show you
the dark side of the moon.
We have just passed the last stop on
the corporate coffee trail.
Yeah, I can't believe
I've never even been here.
Well, hold on to your hats
because we are now entering
the unknown quarter.
Okay.
Mm hmm.
For example, look over my shoulder there.
[BECKY] Yeah.
Jane Austen went to school there.
Really?
The Jane Austen, yeah.
Presumably etched her name
into a desk at some point.
Jane was here.
Another famous resident
was Oscar Wilde, of course.
I mean, he wasn't here by choice.
He was over there in the jail.
See it on the horizon?
Sentenced for being a very naughty boy
with members of the same sex,
and sent, of course, then
to an all-male prison,
which I'm sure the irony of
that wasn't wasted on Mr. Wilde.
Okay, now, we're almost there.
Even I'm getting excited.
Abracadabra, huh?
This is just a display window.
You wait until we get inside.
Come on, ladies first.
Ah, Sir James!
Not you again, good lord.
You know me, I can't
stay away for too long.
And I see you've got
your daughter with you.
Yeah, the old ones are the best.
It's a joke, I'm joking.
Okay, so what can I do for you today?
We're actually here today, Jim,
on a bit of a mission, actually.
Becky here has a younger brother,
and we're looking for
a toy present for him.
Something a bit, you know.
[BECKY] Yeah.
What sort of things is
your brother into then?
He like war, fighting.
I think I might just
have one little item,
so give me a moment, and I'll
be back with you in a second.
Feel free to have a look around.
We will, we certainly will.
[JIM] Thank you.
What did I tell you, huh?
It's a treasure trove, isn't it?
Wow, look at this.
So cool.
Yeah, well, this is a cabinet
that always makes me ache
just a little bit.
There's stuff in here that I remember
having when I was a kid, and
it just got chucked away.
Aw, that's such a shame.
Chucked in a skip somewhere, yeah.
This is amazing, Olly
would love all this.
Anyway, the oracle returns.
Okay, folks, well, you're in luck.
I found this, a model kit from the 1950s.
[BECKY] This is so amazing.
Oh my god.
Your brother needs to
obviously form it and glue it
and paint it and pose it,
but it's a little unusual.
[BECKY] This is so cool.
[JIM] What do you think?
[BECKY] I think this is, yeah.
Before and the after there.
Yeah, I think he'd really like this.
Well, thanks for that,
Steve, that was amazing.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm going to jam this.
Conceivably it's the first reggae album
ever committed to vinyl.
I hope Olly is as happy
with that as I am with this
'cause I am like a pig
in hot shit right now.
[BECKY] Oh, I'm sure he will be.
Listen, I have to go
pick up some dry cleaning,
but can I give you a lift somewhere?
Um, don't worry.
I live in Woodley,
which is, the other way,
so it's fine, I'll just get a bus.
Okay, sure.
Thanks though.
No, I'll see on, uh,
I'll see you Monday, yeah.
Yeah, okay, I'll see you Monday.
I enjoyed that, by the way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- See you.
- See you.
[BECKY] God.
Sorry, hi.
Hi, how are you?
Yeah, good, you all right?
I'm good, thanks, Stripes?
Oh, yeah, how are you doing?
I'm good, I'm good.
Where should we go?
Oh, nice to see you, I don't know.
I know a coffee shop around here.
Let's get out of the
sun, I'm going to burn.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Okay.
All right, just up here, I think.
Let's go.
Oh, my God, this is amazing!
Look how cheap it is!
Oh, my God, you never see that in London.
This is so good!
You can so get on the property ladder.
Look, oh, you get bar stools.
Funny.
You must have so much money now.
Living with your mom, you're so lucky.
Yeah, I've got a bit, you know?
You know, I'm really happy at home.
It's all right.
Yeah, but you should rent,
look, you could rent this.
Just set yourself up.
It's so much better being on your own.
Harry and I are having such a wicked time.
Aw, good.
Oh, parking, that's good for you.
Do you have a car?
Oh no.
I like this, ooh.
Oh, no, it's near the
hospital, I don't like that.
There's too many sick people around.
Oh well.
I can't believe I haven't
even see your place yet.
Oh, my God, yeah.
I mean, I'd love to see some
photos, if you've got any.
I actually do.
I have loads of photos,
I've been showing everyone.
You have to come and visit.
It will be so fun, I think.
This is the room, I'm gonna show you.
I've actually got an album.
Okay.
This is the room I finished.
Oh, that looks amazing.
It is, I searched high and low for that.
Yeah, it's really, really, lovely.
It's not as shiny as it looks.
No, you've done a
really good job, actually.
Thanks, okay, that maroon
chair, that's Harry's.
He just likes it, I don't know.
He's weird, it's like a family thing.
Oh, Harry.
[JEN] Oh I was a bit drunk.
[BECKY] Oh, did you have a housewarming?
No, it was just a bit local.
It's just Chloe was...
Richard, go?
Yeah, because of Harry.
Mm-hmm, yeah, he looks really well.
[JEN] He is.
[BECKY] Who's that?
She wasn't with us at Union, was she?
[JEN] Don't torture yourself.
Sorry.
Sorry, it doesn't matter at all.
[JEN] Harry told me...
Yeah of course.
We broke up, it's fine.
[JEN] You were texting Richard.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, uh, I did, I did
the other night, yeah,
which was stupid, and I'm
really embarrassed about it.
Yeah, just tell him I'm sorry.
You have to let it go, Becky.
Yeah, I know, okay.
Okay.
Um, I'll show you, um.
I've got loads of stuff
to show you around here.
You've never been here before, so.
Just come with me, and I'll show you.
Sorry, how embarrassing.
(LAUGHING)
(SOFT MUSIC)
How's it going?
Mm hmm.
Just wondering how the
toy went down with Olly.
'Cause I have to say me and my new tunes
have been getting on like a house on fire.
Oh, yeah, no, he really liked it.
Sat down, put it all together?
Mm hmm.
Really?
Mm hmm, no.
[STEVE] He couldn't
be bothered, could he?
No, he didn't like it.
Yeah, well, I don't
think you can take it back.
He did say that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did.
You realize you're
photocopying blank paper there.
Think of the trees, yeah?
I just don't get it, Scotty.
I don't get how something
this idiotic can happen.
It's an invoice, for fuck's sake.
It's not rocket science.
It was a grand, it was
a grand on the invoice,
and you knock a fucking nought off,
and he's paying a hundred
quid for these man hours!
Are you kidding me?
I just don't get it, Scotty.
I don't get how you can do
something so fucking idiotic.
It's so fucking easy to
get confused, isn't it?
Because look at it!
No, wait, don't you dare
speak to me like that!
Don't you dare swear at me!
Are you having a laugh?
Carly, just look.
People make mistakes, all right?
You know that, I know that.
The trick is, Scotty, you
gotta to salvage this,
mate, all right?
[SCOTTY] Okay.
Now, you need to get on
the phone to Mr. Khan, yeah?
Tell him this is a special reduced rate
we do for new business, all right?
You need to make him sign
up for a second month.
Yeah, damn right.
Full price.
Let's try and get some
business going here, yeah?
Let's show good faith.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[STEVE] Come on, you
can do it, I know you can.
All right.
[STEVE] Chin up.
And watch the language around Carly.
All right, mate, all right?
(GUITAR MUSIC)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Hi, Mom!
Yeah, I'm fine, how you doing?
Just doing some washing, actually.
You'll be pleased to know.
Yeah, the house is all fine.
Yes, and the goldfish.
What?
No, what, just tell me, I've got no idea.
Mom.
Oh, Mom, that's amazing, that's so cool.
Aw, congratulations, that's incredible.
Aw, bless Terry, when did he do that?
Aw, did he have a ring?
Aw, that's so romantic.
Yeah, no, we're all fine here, of course.
What, like another week?
Yeah, no, of course, don't worry about us.
That's fine.
Yeah, look, take as long as you need.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Aww.
Oh, Olly, it's Mom on the phone.
It's Mom, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mom, Olly's just come out of his room.
Let me pass you across to him.
Hi, Mom.
So when are you getting back?
It's just, I really miss you.
Just don't tell anyone, all right?
I won't.
I'll make an announcement this afternoon
to all of the office
and everyone will find.
Becks, I've got news.
Big news, you know how
I saw Andy last night?
Yeah.
Follow me.
What's going on, Vicki?
Fuck.
Oh, ugh.
It stinks.
It's not half as bad as Andy's.
Speaking of which, he's
in the toilet last night.
This is how I find out, right?
He goes to the toilet, and I
have a look in his pockets.
I know I'm not supposed to, but you know.
I look in his pockets,
and I find this receipt,
and the receipt is for
350 pounds for jewelry.
Oh, wow great.
So I'm waiting all night,
I'm waiting and I'm thinking,
"He's gonna propose, he's gonna propose,
"he's gonna propose," right?
I wasn't expecting to
be proposed to in a pub,
but you know, it's fine.
It's fine, and nothing happens.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, God, oh, God."
Then the end of the night comes,
and he says that we're
going away this weekend.
He's booked us into some Travel Inn thing
just on the way to Gatwick,
so he's going to propose
this weekend, isn't he?
Brilliant, um I really hope he does too.
So I go home and I look up which ones
they could be on the
internet, and I found two.
I recon it's this one, right, 16 stones!
16 stones, can you believe it?
Lovely.
So anyway, this afternoon I booked Mix.
Everyone's gotta come.
Don't worry, you're gonna be a bridesmaid.
Both of you, right?
But everyone's gonna come this afternoon.
Wait, wait, wait, what,
tonight you've booked?
Oh, that's lovely, but
maybe you should wait
until after he's proposed
and you're actually engaged.
And then maybe we could have
like a big celebration then,
which would be better to do it
then rather than now, Vicki.
No, don't you think maybe, a good idea?
Why wait?
Way to ruin it, Becks.
Vicki, maybe we should wait though.
Do you not think it
would be a better idea?
Then we could have a big celebration then,
rather than spreading it all out.
It would be much more fun.
I can have all the parties I want.
I can have a party now,
I can have a party after,
I could have a wedding!
I'm getting married!
[CARLY] Oh yeah.
I'm getting married!
Oh.
Oh, Vicki.
[CARLY] Come on, cheer up, Becks.
She's insane.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(SHOUTING)
I'm so proud.
I can't believe you actually came!
These are my work mates.
This is Becky, say hi.
Hi.
I can't believe you've
got all of these on.
Vick's chicks!
[ALL] Vick's chicks!
Come on, drink, yeah?
Who's gonna buy me a drink?
[ALL] Shots, shots, yeah, shots!
Whoo.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(LAUGHING)
Hi.
[STEVE] What are you
doing over here on your own?
Getting them drinks, more drinks.
Ah.
Oh, hang on, let me get that.
[BECKY] You sure?
No absolutely.
Look, I'm gonna put it on
expenses anyway, so yeah.
Thanks.
[STEVE] Well, I don't have
no idea what we're drinking.
Oh, same again, cocktail,
colored, whatever.
Same again.
[BECKY] Colored.
Colored thingies.
[BECKY] Look how happy she is.
Yeah, well, maybe she should
enjoy it while it lasts.
Okay.
Sorry, that was...
It's an engagement party.
I know, it was selfish.
Some things are not meant to
last, and I'm sure this is.
This is the one I'm getting.
This is what I think I'm getting.
I think I'm getting
this one, look at that.
Oh, that is so nice!
Look at that, look at that!
[LADY] Oh, it's gorgeous.
350, that's how much
you've got to save, Scotty.
350 pounds?
I'm never going to pay that,
I would never pay that!
Oh.
(CHATTERING)
Look, more importantly,
what are the chances
of me bumping into you
in town tomorrow, hmm?
Shall we synchronize watches?
What do you say, 50/50?
70/30?
No, pretty low.
I'm looking after my
little brother tomorrow.
I'm taking him to this
wicked place though.
I found this amazing place in Reading
that I've never been before.
Yes,
and that's it?
That's all I'm getting?
Yeah, that's what you're getting.
Actually, he'll like it.
All he does all day is sit on the sofa
playing computer games.
Finally, I think I found somewhere
that he'll actually like.
You're not going to tell
me any more than that?
[BECKY] Oh, no,
absolutely not, top secret.
See, now I'm intrigued.
[BECKY] Yeah.
Come on, Scotty, come on, take it off.
What, no, no, no, I'm...
[VICKI] It's my special day.
No.
Come on, come on.
You might like it, actually.
[STEVE] Yeah.
Yeah, it's quite cool.
Spill the beans, come
on, where are you going?
Look, I know I'm wearing a tiara, but
as your boss, I'm ordering you to tell...
No, no.
You take your dress off!
You take it off, you.
[ALL] Scotty, Scotty, Scotty, Scotty.
Off, off, off.
Take it off.
Oh sweet, Jesus.
You finally five, five available here.
No, no, no, no.
No this,
oh you gonna spank me?
(SHOUTING)
All right, I'm keeping this party, what?
[ALL] Off, off, off, off.
Off, off, off.
(SCREAMING)
[MAN] Buddy.
(SHOUTING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(SOFT MUSIC)
Look, have you seen this ax, here?
[OLLY] Yeah.
Look, how cool is that?
Can you see?
There's that double ax there, right?
That will go straight
through that horse's head.
Do you see that horse?
And then they're fighting
with their bows and arrows.
Look at all of them there.
Did you see that?
And here, right, do you
know who this guy is?
[OLLY] King Harold.
[BECKY] Yeah, exactly, King Harold.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't do that Harold bit without me.
History lesson, history lesson.
Right, so they think this guy is Harold
because of the arrow through his eye.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
But actually now we
think this one is Harold.
Do you know what they did to him?
No.
No, chopped his head
off like that, right?
Disemboweled him and then
they, um, gelded him.
What's gelded mean?
To, uh, chop his balls off.
Cool.
The notion of overkill comes
into effect there, I think.
But we don't know, who knows?
It could be this guy or
it could be this guy.
But I recon it was this one.
[OLLY] Yeah, I see.
Absolute bloody carnage is what it is.
[BECKY] Yeah, it's pretty cool though.
It's like the 1066
equivalent of a computer game.
Better than a computer game, you recon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just have to add
your own sound effects
and stuff, that's all.
Go ching, ching.
Words to that effect.
Mm hmm.
Ah, Woodley.
So good, they named it once.
[BECKY] Have you been here before?
I have, I have, I have.
I know Woodley, actually.
I grew up in a state very
similar to this, actually.
[BECKY] It's not much,
but we like it, most of it.
Yeah, it is what it is.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
In fact, my first
girlfriend was from Woodley.
I was 12, and she tasted of lollipops.
Five Oak, how's that?
Thank you, perfect.
Come on, Olly.
[OLLY] Thanks Steve.
My pleasure, sir.
[OLLY] You have a cool car.
Well, thank you.
It's not actually my
car, it's the company's
but I'll take the compliment.
Olly, let me give you the
keys to go and open the house.
Can't I stay with you?
No, no, just and go
and get some biscuits.
[STEVE] He's a good kid.
Yeah, yeah he is.
I, I should get going.
Actually, I've got some
friends coming over.
I'm doing a bit of cooking for them,
and as rock and roll as it sounds,
I need to soak some beans.
Okay.
Maybe we should do something
next weekend, if you're free.
Yeah, that would be really nice.
I mean, I could cook
for you, if you want.
How about that?
I'm quite a good cook, if I say so myself.
Proof's the pudding, so.
I've seen your place, maybe
you can come around to mine.
How about that?
Cool.
(SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC)
Was it too much?
Mm mm.
I'm gonna just...
You, yeah.
(SOBBING)
Vicki, what's wrong?
[VICKI] He bought a watch.
What, a watch?
We went away for the weekend
and he didn't say
anything on the Saturday.
Then it was Sunday, and
we're going out for dinner,
and he comes out and,
and he shows me this watch.
He was never going to propose.
Oh Vicki, I'm so sorry.
(CRYING)
Okay.
Good morning, Digital Marketing.
I don't know.
Can you just hold on a minute, please?
I'm so sorry about that.
Comme ca, madam?
What's that?
Don't worry, it's got chocolate in it.
Guys.
Oh, thank you, Stevie.
Ah, Scotty, almost didn't recognize
you with your clothes on.
Mr. Kahn's renewed the contract.
Good work.
Thanks, Steve.
(SOFT MUSIC)
Yeah, yeah, we need to use the archers
in a minute as well.
Okay.
Are you all right, Olly?
Yeah.
You're from next door, right?
Yeah.
[BECKY] Hi, I'm Becky.
Hi.
What are you playing?
Battle of Hastings, it's really cool.
Ah okay.
Well, I'll leave you boys to it.
If you need anything,
give me a shout, yeah?
[BOTH] Okay.
(GUITAR MUSIC)
[BECKY] At the harvest, keep back
some of the best of your crop.
The food grown with love
and served to the one
that you love will surely beget love.
Meet me in the morning when you rise
We'll walk through the
orchard in the sunshine
If you hold my hand,
it will be all right
And we'll stay outside
until the moonlight
We ain't got no plans
Don't have no foresight
In a semicircle
To watch the sunrise
You look oh so pretty
And the weather's fine
Wow, you look amazing.
Oh thank you.
Welcome.
Can I take your wicker basket thing?
Yeah, I brought some
stuff from my allotment.
[STEVE] Okay, fantastic.
Well come in, come in.
Thank you.
[STEVE] You found the place all right?
Yeah, fine, this is lovely.
Now, do you like your wine sweet or dry?
[BECKY] Sweet.
Okay, imagine you said dry
because that's what we've got.
[BECKY] Okay.
Prepare to be converted.
Okay.
Thank you.
Have a smell of it
first, before you try it.
Just put your nose in.
All the way, go on.
Don't be shy.
Don't snort it, but just
(SNIFFING)
you know, get the aromas.
- Mm.
- Nice?
[STEVE] Are your taste buds going?
Mm-hmm, can I try it now?
[STEVE] You can, you
can definitely try it.
Okay.
[STEVE] Smell it first.
I have, I've smelt it.
And then the taste.
- Great.
- Good.
Mm.
Kaboom, brilliant, hand it back.
[BECKY] Okay.
I'll fill it up.
You don't have to smell
it again this time.
No, thanks very much.
Ah, magnifique!
So you grew these beans yourself.
Mm hmm.
That's amazing.
They are delicious.
Oh, good, yeah, my granddad,
he gave me his allotment,
which I kind of look after and stuff, see.
Well, I think they're possibly the best
beans I've ever had in my life.
Thank you.
How's the fish?
I don't normally eat fish very much,
apart from fish fingers, so.
Right.
(SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC)
How's it going?
Yeah good.
What's that?
Just my little family heirloom.
I'm wondering how you might feel
about a little Moroccan dessert?
Uh, yeah, I like Moroccan food.
Steve, what this is,
oh my God!
Mmm, I literally haven't
smoked this since uni.
This is a really big bag.
Well, I don't smoke very often.
Just weekends and things like that.
Mm hmm.
[STEVE] No pressure.
No, no pressure.
Let's do this.
Let's do this shizzle.
That's what you say, isn't it?
I don't think so, not anymore, no.
You know I've got to tell you,
I was really nervous
before I came here tonight.
We sat down, and you brought
out this fish, you know?
And I...
Golden curry, yeah.
Curry, I just, I was just,
I didn't like the fish so much.
You didn't?
Sorry, is that mean?
It's just so like grown up.
There's fish and this sauce,
and this rice in like a shape, and I'm 25.
I normally eat rice in a bowl, you know?
In a bowl shape, you put it in a bowl.
It was in a bowl shape, yeah.
I should've checked, I'm sorry.
[BECKY] It's all right,
next time, just no, no fish.
Next date, no fish.
[STEVE] Next date?
This is a date, right?
I thought, yeah, I
thought this was a date.
This is a date.
[STEVE] This is definitely a date.
This is such a date.
[STEVE] You've come over to my flat.
You've lighted candles, this is a date.
[STEVE] This is a date,
I mean, that's a date.
This is our third date.
Uh, what, third date?
[BECKY] This is our third date.
Where are you getting
the other two from?
Well, we went to like the museum.
That was such a date.
You're brother was there!
[BECKY] It's still date.
And a large replica of a historically
significant embroidery.
(LAUGHING)
That was...
[STEVE] Well, what
was the first date then?
If that was two, what was one?
Record shop.
Jim was there, Jim the geek.
Jim was...
[STEVE] Does Jim know it was a date?
Jim loved the date!
Jim had a great time.
[STEVE] You've spoken to
Jim about the date, have you?
I just knew I could see that
Jim was like loving the date.
Well, as long as Jim,
it was a date then.
[BECKY] It was a date.
I'm not sure.
Three dates, my friend, three dates.
Okay, what does three dates mean
to someone of your generation?
Well, it means that I can stay.
Then this is definitely a third date!
Which side?
I tend to hand to the left.
Hey, oh okay.
That's the you're gonna roll, is it?
We can just lay here with
our clothes on if you want.
Hmm, mm hmm.
No, fun
Let's take (MUMBLES).
Glasses.
Have you still got your boots on?
I didn't think you'd mind.
I kind of like it.
(SOFT MUSIC)
Becky?
Becky, you need to get up, I made you tea.
I can give you a lift in,
but I got a conference call at 9:15.
I can't be late.
Okay, can I have a shower and stuff.
Of course, yeah, it's all yours.
Can you pass my shoes?
Um, not those ones.
Should be just around the side there.
Okay.
That's it thank you.
Okay, Death Star approaching.
I think this is about as close
as you'll want to risk it.
Do you mind if I drop
you on the corner here?
I know it's a bit weird, but...
It's fine, yeah.
Um, you can come around the back there.
You know, we don't arrive...
Okay all right.
I promise you, next weekend
will be amazing, all right?
Just keep the faith.
All right then, see ya.
Actually, Becky, one more thing.
Okay, just go.
All right, see you in there.
See you in there.
(LAUGHING)
That's disgusting.
Oh my God.
What's going on?
It's fucking tortoise sex.
Listen to it.
Fucking hell, that's fucking ridiculous.
I really didn't expect that.
Look, look, look.
Oh, that's gross.
Oh my fuck.
That's horrible.
That's really horrible.
Look, look, look at.
(LAUGHING)
That's really horrible.
Vicki!
Vicki, sorry to trouble you.
It's just I got a prospective
client on the phone
who wants to know what
you're doing messing around
on the internet on a Monday morning
instead of doing some work.
In fact, he'd like to
know what you're all doing
messing around on a Monday morning
instead of doing some actual work.
You should come look at
this, Steve, it's pretty funny.
Oh, great, well, as
long as it's funny, Becky,
I'm sure it's all perfectly fine.
In fact, maybe you'd like
to do me a spreadsheet
about exactly how funny it is,
and then I can take that to
the board meeting next month.
No?
Maybe somebody wants to
clear up this kitchen area.
It's a fucking pigsty.
Sorry, Steve.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I didn't mean for you to
do the tidying up either.
I thought Scotty was gonna do it.
It's fine, honestly, I totally get it.
I'm really sorry.
Vicki, there she is!
Listen, can I get a nice cup of tea
when you got a minute, please?
Absolutely.
Oh, and cactus juice for the
tortoise while you're at it.
(LAUGHING)
He's never angry for long.
That's why we love him.
Right, a half for lunch, who's coming?
Where are you going?
Polish place on the corner.
No, I'm taking him for lunch
after he won that account.
All right.
Come on big boy, it's on me.
Becks, you coming?
Oh no, I've got a loads of work to do.
Hi.
Um, sorry, I just, the others
have all gone out for lunch,
so I thought I'd come in here and say hi.
Becky, you can't, you
can't just come in here.
Sorry, I, no, I checked the office.
There's no one else here, so.
We've been over this, all right?
It's not appropriate, okay, I'm your boss.
But, I know you are, Steve.
But, you know, everyone else is gone.
I just wanted to come in here and...
Becky, look, I know this
is difficult for you, okay?
But it's difficult for me as well.
We've got to have rules.
I don't really want rules.
Becky, believe me,
I've been here before,
and the minute this
becomes office property,
it just becomes messy, okay?
That's not what I want.
What do you mean,
you've been here before?
Okay, ah.
Right.
I don't get you, I really don't.
One minute, it's like amazing,
and the next, you're telling
me to get out of your office.
Becky, I just need you
to hang in there, okay?
Let's just get to the weekend.
We can talk about it then.
I don't think that's gonna
work out for me, really.
You're an incredible guy,
but,
um, I just have...
Again, again, again, fuck.
I'm sorry.
I hope, I just don't,
how is this gonna work?
I'm 25.
I want more than like sneaking around.
Becky, I'm sorry, I just.
I think I should probably go.
Okay?
Becky.
No, I'm gonna go.
Becky,
Becky.
Becky!
Just please, just.
Soft
Fragile eyes
Reflex smile
White sheets enfold you
So new
To this world
Where have you been
Stop this 'cause you're stressing me out
My mind works far too fast
I should trust you
well, I've never fucked up
You all right?
[HIM] Yeah, you?
Fine.
How's Carly?
Fine, how's Steve?
Fine.
Good.
[BECKY] Why'd you text me?
I just wanted to clear the air
about the whole Carly,
Friday night thing, you know?
Okay.
Well, should we get a drink first, maybe?
Okay, one drink.
[BECKY] All right, one drink.
One drink.
Just one.
Okay.
Just one.
You all right?
Can I get a vodka coke,
and what do you want?
A pint, please.
And two Jagerbombs, please.
Thank you very much.
One drink.
Two Jagerbombs, please.
One drink.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
- Again.
- Another.
- Ah.
- Ugh.
Did you do it?
Mm hmm.
Gross.
So how on earth can you
be feeling like shit then?
What the hell is wrong?
Well, what's wrong with you?
Tell me about Steve.
Men are shit.
Men are shit?
Men are shit.
Women are pretty shit.
Women are not shit, men are shit.
I feeling shit because
I have been trying to get a
bike sponsorship for years.
A couple years ago, I fucked it up.
I got involved in this.
This drink and other
shit, and I ruined it.
I burned bridges, I ruined it.
Done, okay?
Fuck.
This year I have been
trying to build it back up
and to go back out there
and say, "I'm different."
This week, I go in, and I present myself.
I said, "I've changed,
this isn't me anymore."
No one wanted me.
Fuck them.
Fuck them.
Fuck them.
I tried twice, and I failed twice.
You know how hard it is?
A whole year of my life wasted.
No one wants me, no one wants me.
I'll have you.
Put the money in, put the money in.
Money, money, money.
Choose, choose.
Uh.
Okay, good.
All right.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
Well she is having major (MUMBLES)
I tried to tell her
there's nothing wrong
There's no (MUMBLES)
(MUMBLES) girl
Stay
Trousers.
Okay, the same time.
Okay.
Is that a birthmark?
[HIM] Mm hmm.
Cool.
Did you know that birthmarks
are actually the mark of kings?
That's good to know.
I haven't got a condom.
I have a condom?
Well, I didn't know I
was gonna come here with,
oh, fucker.
Maybe I can find a condom.
Maybe there's one I might.
I really, I don't have a condom.
So maybe we should just not have sex then.
Fine.
[BECKY] Fine.
No sex.
Whoa me
You all right?
I've got you a cup of
tea, if you want one.
I'm good, actually, for tea and stuff.
I've got to go.
I've got quite a lot of stuff to do today.
I lost track of time, I
lost track of the days.
This is why I shouldn't drink,
you know, I just forget.
Oh that's okay.
I had a really nice time last night.
So did I, I really did.
God, I'm trying to.
I remember most of it.
I'm just, no, it's,
I'm just trying to get
the rest in my head.
That came out wrong, didn't it?
Sorry, no, I, um,
it didn't happen
like I thought it'd happen.
That's the truth, I'm sorry, I,
I wanted it to be special, not quick.
It was too quick, and
it's my fault, I'm sorry.
I wanted to take it slow.
I wanted to take you on a proper date.
You know, get to know you
and see what'll happen
'cause you know I like you.
[BECKY] I like you.
I know, this is hard.
I think,
I should go.
You think I should go?
No, I should.
I should go.
Maybe we could see what happens,
you know, in a couple weeks
when I get my head straight.
I'll see you Monday.
(CRYING)
Mum, it's me.
No, I'm not okay at all, actually.
I really need you to come home.
No, no, no, nothing's happened, I just,
I just really need you to come home now.
I can't do it anymore, Mom.
Just, just come home.
I've got to go.
(CRYING)
I'm sorry.
(SOFT MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
The moon was hiding in the trees
The stars were drowning in the sea
And all our memories were dreams
And all our tragedies just scenes
Performed a thousand times before
Of all the paths that led to now
So many angles would show us how
This geometry has shaped our minds
Where all the numbers will combine
To prove
That I'm the same as you
So many paths have led to now
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Um, do you mind if I,
can I sit here?
Yeah, sure.
(SOFT ROCK MUSIC)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Stop this 'cause you're stressing me out
My mind works far too fast
I should trust you
Well, I've never fucked up
And I'm just hurting me
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
Stop, that's your answer always
What, to walk behind your lines?
Are you holy
Only when I'm at home
So when it suits you best
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
If this is our life
Then we should make
the most of what we have
Don't want to waste my life on
Chasing silver screen in Cannes
I could be famous if I
really, really wanted to
But I would just rather
Spend my life
And it's all in your head
And it's more than
You'd care to think about
You're no use to me dead
I need you by my side and stuck to me
Stop this
'Cause you're stressing me out
My mind works
Far too fast
I should trust you
Well, I've never fucked up
And I'm just
Hurting me
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
If this is our life
Then we should make
the most of what we have
Don't want to waste my life on
Chasing silver screen in Cannes
I could be famous
If I really, really wanted to
But I would just rather spend my life
And it's all in your head
And it's more than
You'd care to think about
You're no use to me dead
I need you by my side
And stuck to me
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)
Soft
Fragile eyes
Reflex smile
White sheets enfold you
So new
To this world
Where have you been
Oh, sexy Becks,
can you fill in one of
these and give it to Steve?
Apparently someone's got to go today.
Becks, have you been in yet?
Uh, no, why, has everyone else?
No, there's only three left though.
Uh, who?
Uh, him,
him.
To be honest with you, I
think it's probably fine.
If you haven't got an email by now
I think you're safe as houses.
(CHIMING)
Oh, uh.
You'll be all right,
you'll be all right.
Just smile through it,
you work really hard.
Thanks, okay.
(KNOCKING)
Yep, come in.
Please um, have a seat.
Thanks.
So, Rebecca Louise Williams.
Thank you for filling in
the DISC analysis form.
Uh, hopefully these things are
a benefit for both parties.
You know the soap.
Well, you've been with
us for three months now.
Um, what I would say
is that your strengths
naturally tend to lie in the S
and the C end of the spectrum.
Um, you're steady, conscientious.
All these things are very
healthy and positive things
for an office work space like this one.
Uh, what I would say, however, is
we do need to have a look at
the D and the I going forward.
Um, it's not exactly been a
banner year for the company
so I am anticipating some restructuring
later in the year, so.
We'll get together and have another chat
in three months' time, if that's okay.
But for now we're very
pleased with your progress.
Thank you.
Great thanks.
I will work on the D and I.
Okay.
Becks.
Barry's in there at the moment.
[BECKY] Oh, no poor Barry.
They can't get rid of Barry.
Well, if it's not Barry then who is it?
[VICKI] Okay, oh, look, he's smiling.
Oh, he's okay, thank God.
He's coming.
Oh, you all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Kingdom's agreed to
come to my leaving party.
Will you guys will all be there
and everybody in the office, yeah?
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
(SOFT MUSIC)
All right, five o'clock,
I'm going to Barry's.
Becks, you coming?
Yeah, I.
Well, I'll see you down there.
Come on, big boy, you coming out?
I might go, I'm not sure.
Mate, you ready, we've
got to go to football.
Ahh, football, sorry.
You've got to be joking!
I'm sorry.
Are you serious?
You owe me a drink, babe.
I know, I owe you soon, soon.
You ready?
Let's go.
Thanks fuck!
Turn that frown upside-down
And we're so low
And you're so strong
[BECKY] Are you eating toast again?
Did mum leave you tea?
No.
Mum and Terry left you a note.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Stay, 15, 16, 17, 18.
Olly, you've used all.
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
Shut up.
Hi, Tina, it's Becky, Diane's
daughter from next door.
And this is my brother Olly.
I think you know him already.
Oh, hi, Olly.
I've been called out on some really
important work drinks tonight.
I was just wondering if you
mind watching Olly for me.
Oh, sorry, love, I can't.
I've got people around myself.
Oh, that's fine, he
can look after himself.
He's a really good boy.
It's just if you can
keep an eye out for him.
All right, I'll keep an eye out for him.
Mom, I'm hungry.
Tyler, will you get to bed now?
Right, well, have a nice evening, Becky.
Okay, bye-bye, thanks, Tina.
Have a nice evening, thanks, okay, bye.
Come on.
(BRAKES SQUEAKING)
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
All right, Steve?
Becky, what time do you call this?
Oh, I was just at home.
Steve, what's with the, uh,
you look like you've been
to a wedding or something.
No, no, I mean, I didn't mean.
No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
Are the others inside?
They are, yes.
It's about to get messy,
so I'm gonna scooch off.
Yeah, all right.
Have a good evening.
(DANCE MUSIC)
Oh my God, look at you.
You look gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hey.
Hi, yeah good.
I like your dress.
Oh thank you.
Thanks, I just, I didn't
think you were coming.
Coming out?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, I wasn't gonna,
but I played football
with the lads.
Yes.
Yeah, because I thought
you might be coming,
so I told Vicki to mention it, you know.
Yeah, no um, that's cool.
Yeah, but you look very nice.
Thank you.
Oh, look at this!
Oh, Barry, you demon, come on.
Becky made it.
Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky!
Barry, Barry, Barry.
[BARRY] Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, shots time, shots time!
Is this mine?
One for you.
One for you.
Just so you know,
you're doing two at least.
I don't want to do one, no.
[BARRY] Shots time, shots time.
Salt, salt, salt, salt, salt.
I think you ought to slow down.
Three, two, one, go!
I've got it all down myself.
Ugh, ooh.
I could get that.
- Barry.
- Did you like it?
No, no do you?
[BECKY] Yeah.
[HIM] Is that your favorite?
All right, you know what I want?
Excuse me, if you don't mind.
Come on big boy.
No, no, no.
[CARLY] Come on, you're dancing with me.
No, you promised, you promised earlier.
Come on, you've got to.
[HIM] Okay, we'll get in one dance.
Yeah, but just me and you for now.
Come on, come on.
(DANCE MUSIC)
Was Becky wearing that at work?
[VICKI] No, no.
Were you wearing that at work?
I was, yes, don't you remember?
Is somebody else driving, who's driving?
[VICKI] Oh, you know!
[HIM] Hey, come dance with me.
What?
Come on, me and you.
Come on, I want to see the booty shake.
What are you talking about?
I'm a really bad dancer.
No, we're dancing.
I'm a really, really bad dancer.
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
10, nine, eight
Seven, six, five
Four, three, two, one
[VICKI] Oh, Barry,
Barry, come on, up you get.
[BARRY] I just fell.
[VICKI] Come on, sit down.
[CARLY] Barry, seriously.
I just fell.
No, I fell, yeah.
More shots.
Yeah, I just fell down.
[CARLY] You seriously
don't need any more alcohol.
I only fell down.
Seriously.
Do you need some water?
No, chips.
Cheesy chips?
Cheesy chips.
Chips, chips, chips.
Oh yeah, chips.
Come on, can you walk?
[BARRY] Yeah, yeah, yeah, chips.
Right, I need my bag and shit.
Thank you.
Good night, guys.
So, um,
I'm gonna head home.
Yeah?
[HIM] Yeah, I probably should.
Um, well, I'm gonna get that cab, so.
Well, I live the same way, so I should.
Yeah, well, come, totally, totally.
Yeah?
Yeah?
We'll split it, we will split it.
Split it.
You all right?
[HIM] You all right?
(LAUGHING)
Um, okay, can we...
Heading back to yours.
Whoo, party!
Come on, come on!
I got sick on my shirt.
Uh, so yeah, everyone
just comes through this way.
Is this the bathroom?
No, no, no, that's my brothers room.
That's Olly's.
Sorry, that.
Shh.
It's fine, he's asleep.
He's fine, yeah.
The kitchen's just that
way, so if you just...
Yeah, go through there.
Um, oh, let me get you, let me try.
There's some kind of drink.
Yeah, yeah, we've got, uh.
Will this be, I don't know.
Uh, glasses.
Party at Becksies, party at Becksies.
Shots, shots.
Um, everyone, mugs all right?
[BARRY] Oh yeah.
[VICKI] Perfect, perfect.
[BARRY] Mug shots.
Here we go, glass, glass.
[VICKI] Do you wanna do the honors?
No, I'm good, I'm good
Okay.
(LAUGHING)
[VICKI] Party at Becksies!
[CARLY] I'll have one too!
Shh, yeah, yeah.
Mm hmm.
(GRUNTING)
Ooh.
I couldn't swallow it!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, sorry about that, we
don't have anything else.
[CARLY] Can we take it through?
Yeah, yeah, finish
it, honestly, finish it.
Okay.
[BECKY] The lounge is
just, um, just there.
[CARLY] Not the bedroom, Barry.
Do you want, um, is there
anything I can get you.
No, um.
You can explain something to me though.
Yeah, what?
Um, what the hell
is this?
The Book of English
Magic, by Philip Carr-Gomm
and Richard, I can't pronounce that.
Heygate.
Ah, what is it?
Are you a witch?
Obviously I'm not a witch.
What are you...
[HIM] Uh, explain the book.
Well, no, I just, I
got that when I was a kid
from my granddad, and I just really,
I like fairies.
'Cause you're a witch.
Can I have that back, please?
No, tell me what it is.
No, come on, please?
Can I just have that, please?
No, come on, witchy, tell me what it is.
[BECKY] Witchy, I'm not.
Well, tell me.
It's completely unfair.
That's from when I was a kid!
A kid, okay, okay, okay.
Ugh.
Let me read, come on,
you put the page down.
Let me read it.
Let me read it.
"On a Friday evening at full moon,
"throw salt into a fire
"and carve your lover's
name into an onion."
Who's your lover, is
it Barry, is it Steve?
It is me?
Oh, come on, look, this is why I like you.
This is weird, I've never seen
this before, but it's cute.
Can you give it back, please?
Yeah, come on get it.
You know, it's a full moon tonight.
Um,
should we, can you just wait one minute?
Do you mind?
I just need a minute, actually.
One minute, just wait there.
I'll be back.
I'll be back out, sorry.
Just give me a minute.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Oh.
Oh, hi, Beck, sorry, you're up.
We thought you'd gone to bed.
Carly said you might have gone to bed.
No, I was just, um, um, phone call.
Oh, well, we've ordered a cab, babe,
'cause we thought you'd gone
to bed, so we've gotta go.
Sorry.
Okay, uh, why, stay for another drink.
I've got loads, there's
loads of drink in there.
Yeah, no, I think we've got time for...
No, our cab is here, babe.
You know, meter's running, so.
But you know, I had such
a good time, thank you.
See you Monday.
Are you sure you don't
want to have a drink?
I mean...
Uh, no, I think I should leave it.
I mean, I got pretty tired waiting.
No, I've got stuff,
I've got cycle tomorrow.
Thanks, I'll see you Monday.
(SOFT GUITAR MUSIC)
Meet me in the morning
When you rise
We'll walk through the orchard
In the sunshine
You can hold my hand
It would be all right
And we'll stay outside
until the moonlight
We ain't got no plans
Don't have no foresight
In a semicircle to watch the sunlight
You look oh so pretty in the weather
(GUN FIRING)
Olly, was, um, was there
anyone here when you got up?
I don't know.
I'm just asking.
Have you been eating crisps for breakfast?
They were already there.
Well, that's not the point, is it?
I told you, do not eat
crisps for breakfast.
Eat something healthy.
It's not good for you.
Get off the computer!
What, don't look at me like that!
Get off the computer.
We're going to go to the park, all right?
Can you just get up and
go and brush your teeth?
Olly?
Olly?
Thank you.
Hey.
Sexy Becks, I fell
asleep at yours on Friday.
When I woke up, Carly wasn't there,
but Barry was, and you know what I'm like.
I just wanted to check nothing
happened 'cause I think.
(KNOCKING)
Vicki can I...
Talk to you in a bit, okay?
[STEVE] Why are you still here?
I'm not, I am going.
I just had to sort one
last thing, I'm gone.
All right, well, look, happy hunting.
Get out there and knock them dead.
Sweet, cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
See you in a couple weeks, mate.
Hey, sweetheart.
You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
[CARLY] How you doing?
Mm hmm.
Thanks for Friday night, by the way.
I had such a good time.
Oh good.
I'm just a bit tired,
feeling the effects.
But, uh, yeah, it was really good.
So, um, did you have a good one?
Mmm, yeah, no, it was wicked.
Good night.
Oh I almost forgot.
We're supposed to get those reports out
sort of two past three,
so I'm going to need that
in about half an hour.
But you know, there's no
rush or anything, okay?
You gonna help me today?
No, I'm kinda bored.
Used to help Gran, though.
Yeah, but Gran is dead.
Right.
Hello.
[BECKY] Hi.
[GARDNER] Hi.
[OLLY] Hi.
Smile, maybe?
Hi.
Hi.
You gonna come?
[OLLY] No thank you.
Our bodies
Look into our bodies
Consider us
And cover us in angel dust
And we won't
Waste our lives
Hollywood
We could live in Hollywood
Or anywhere
As long as we are safe and cared for
And we won't waste our lives
No we don't
Waste our lives
You're what we came for
(CALMING MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(HUMMING MUSIC)
Becky Williams, what are you up to?
Hi, Steve.
Yeah, um,
yeah, I'm just actually looking
for a toy for my brother, yeah.
Okay, what, in here?
Yeah, I know.
Okay, well, how old is he?
Um, he's 11.
Hmmm.
Well, it's a bit young
for 11, to be honest.
Ah, I might have to go somewhere else.
Well, nice seeing you.
Very nice to see you, yeah, yeah.
Have a lovely weekend.
Sorry, I'm in your way.
Oh, that's all right, oops, sorry.
Good to see you.
Oops.
Becky.
Becky, just hang on a sec.
Sorry, I just remembered.
There is actually this fantastic toy
shop where you should go.
Honestly, it's unlike
anywhere else in town.
It's, it's kind of,
problem is it's a bit tucked away.
It's behind the railway station and
do you know what?
I'm actually going that way.
If you, I mean, I could
show you, if you fancy.
Uh, yeah, yeah, okay,
I'm going that way too, so.
You won't regret this, honestly.
I used to, um,
I used to go there when I was a kid.
- Oh, yeah.
- When I was about 11.
[BECKY] Okay.
This is where I used to go.
[BECKY] So you know it really well then.
You've lived here all your...
I've lived here all my life, yeah, so.
There was a time when you
could walk up the side street
and get a good old-fashioned
cup of English tea, you know?
Nowadays it's just, you
know, coffee, coffee, coffee.
Coffee here, coffee there.
I got coffee coming out my ears.
Oh, uh, you're not a coffee drinker?
Well, I mean, I like coffee.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just, it's just
Reading, like you know,
everywhere in this country these days,
it's just become enslaved
to the conquistadors
of the chain stores, you know?
You may be thinking,
"How am I possibly gonna
find a toy for my brother
"which isn't exactly like every other toy
"owned by every other kid in this store?"
You stick with me 'cause
I am gonna show you
the dark side of the moon.
We have just passed the last stop on
the corporate coffee trail.
Yeah, I can't believe
I've never even been here.
Well, hold on to your hats
because we are now entering
the unknown quarter.
Okay.
Mm hmm.
For example, look over my shoulder there.
[BECKY] Yeah.
Jane Austen went to school there.
Really?
The Jane Austen, yeah.
Presumably etched her name
into a desk at some point.
Jane was here.
Another famous resident
was Oscar Wilde, of course.
I mean, he wasn't here by choice.
He was over there in the jail.
See it on the horizon?
Sentenced for being a very naughty boy
with members of the same sex,
and sent, of course, then
to an all-male prison,
which I'm sure the irony of
that wasn't wasted on Mr. Wilde.
Okay, now, we're almost there.
Even I'm getting excited.
Abracadabra, huh?
This is just a display window.
You wait until we get inside.
Come on, ladies first.
Ah, Sir James!
Not you again, good lord.
You know me, I can't
stay away for too long.
And I see you've got
your daughter with you.
Yeah, the old ones are the best.
It's a joke, I'm joking.
Okay, so what can I do for you today?
We're actually here today, Jim,
on a bit of a mission, actually.
Becky here has a younger brother,
and we're looking for
a toy present for him.
Something a bit, you know.
[BECKY] Yeah.
What sort of things is
your brother into then?
He like war, fighting.
I think I might just
have one little item,
so give me a moment, and I'll
be back with you in a second.
Feel free to have a look around.
We will, we certainly will.
[JIM] Thank you.
What did I tell you, huh?
It's a treasure trove, isn't it?
Wow, look at this.
So cool.
Yeah, well, this is a cabinet
that always makes me ache
just a little bit.
There's stuff in here that I remember
having when I was a kid, and
it just got chucked away.
Aw, that's such a shame.
Chucked in a skip somewhere, yeah.
This is amazing, Olly
would love all this.
Anyway, the oracle returns.
Okay, folks, well, you're in luck.
I found this, a model kit from the 1950s.
[BECKY] This is so amazing.
Oh my god.
Your brother needs to
obviously form it and glue it
and paint it and pose it,
but it's a little unusual.
[BECKY] This is so cool.
[JIM] What do you think?
[BECKY] I think this is, yeah.
Before and the after there.
Yeah, I think he'd really like this.
Well, thanks for that,
Steve, that was amazing.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm going to jam this.
Conceivably it's the first reggae album
ever committed to vinyl.
I hope Olly is as happy
with that as I am with this
'cause I am like a pig
in hot shit right now.
[BECKY] Oh, I'm sure he will be.
Listen, I have to go
pick up some dry cleaning,
but can I give you a lift somewhere?
Um, don't worry.
I live in Woodley,
which is, the other way,
so it's fine, I'll just get a bus.
Okay, sure.
Thanks though.
No, I'll see on, uh,
I'll see you Monday, yeah.
Yeah, okay, I'll see you Monday.
I enjoyed that, by the way.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- See you.
- See you.
[BECKY] God.
Sorry, hi.
Hi, how are you?
Yeah, good, you all right?
I'm good, thanks, Stripes?
Oh, yeah, how are you doing?
I'm good, I'm good.
Where should we go?
Oh, nice to see you, I don't know.
I know a coffee shop around here.
Let's get out of the
sun, I'm going to burn.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Okay.
All right, just up here, I think.
Let's go.
Oh, my God, this is amazing!
Look how cheap it is!
Oh, my God, you never see that in London.
This is so good!
You can so get on the property ladder.
Look, oh, you get bar stools.
Funny.
You must have so much money now.
Living with your mom, you're so lucky.
Yeah, I've got a bit, you know?
You know, I'm really happy at home.
It's all right.
Yeah, but you should rent,
look, you could rent this.
Just set yourself up.
It's so much better being on your own.
Harry and I are having such a wicked time.
Aw, good.
Oh, parking, that's good for you.
Do you have a car?
Oh no.
I like this, ooh.
Oh, no, it's near the
hospital, I don't like that.
There's too many sick people around.
Oh well.
I can't believe I haven't
even see your place yet.
Oh, my God, yeah.
I mean, I'd love to see some
photos, if you've got any.
I actually do.
I have loads of photos,
I've been showing everyone.
You have to come and visit.
It will be so fun, I think.
This is the room, I'm gonna show you.
I've actually got an album.
Okay.
This is the room I finished.
Oh, that looks amazing.
It is, I searched high and low for that.
Yeah, it's really, really, lovely.
It's not as shiny as it looks.
No, you've done a
really good job, actually.
Thanks, okay, that maroon
chair, that's Harry's.
He just likes it, I don't know.
He's weird, it's like a family thing.
Oh, Harry.
[JEN] Oh I was a bit drunk.
[BECKY] Oh, did you have a housewarming?
No, it was just a bit local.
It's just Chloe was...
Richard, go?
Yeah, because of Harry.
Mm-hmm, yeah, he looks really well.
[JEN] He is.
[BECKY] Who's that?
She wasn't with us at Union, was she?
[JEN] Don't torture yourself.
Sorry.
Sorry, it doesn't matter at all.
[JEN] Harry told me...
Yeah of course.
We broke up, it's fine.
[JEN] You were texting Richard.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, uh, I did, I did
the other night, yeah,
which was stupid, and I'm
really embarrassed about it.
Yeah, just tell him I'm sorry.
You have to let it go, Becky.
Yeah, I know, okay.
Okay.
Um, I'll show you, um.
I've got loads of stuff
to show you around here.
You've never been here before, so.
Just come with me, and I'll show you.
Sorry, how embarrassing.
(LAUGHING)
(SOFT MUSIC)
How's it going?
Mm hmm.
Just wondering how the
toy went down with Olly.
'Cause I have to say me and my new tunes
have been getting on like a house on fire.
Oh, yeah, no, he really liked it.
Sat down, put it all together?
Mm hmm.
Really?
Mm hmm, no.
[STEVE] He couldn't
be bothered, could he?
No, he didn't like it.
Yeah, well, I don't
think you can take it back.
He did say that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did.
You realize you're
photocopying blank paper there.
Think of the trees, yeah?
I just don't get it, Scotty.
I don't get how something
this idiotic can happen.
It's an invoice, for fuck's sake.
It's not rocket science.
It was a grand, it was
a grand on the invoice,
and you knock a fucking nought off,
and he's paying a hundred
quid for these man hours!
Are you kidding me?
I just don't get it, Scotty.
I don't get how you can do
something so fucking idiotic.
It's so fucking easy to
get confused, isn't it?
Because look at it!
No, wait, don't you dare
speak to me like that!
Don't you dare swear at me!
Are you having a laugh?
Carly, just look.
People make mistakes, all right?
You know that, I know that.
The trick is, Scotty, you
gotta to salvage this,
mate, all right?
[SCOTTY] Okay.
Now, you need to get on
the phone to Mr. Khan, yeah?
Tell him this is a special reduced rate
we do for new business, all right?
You need to make him sign
up for a second month.
Yeah, damn right.
Full price.
Let's try and get some
business going here, yeah?
Let's show good faith.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[STEVE] Come on, you
can do it, I know you can.
All right.
[STEVE] Chin up.
And watch the language around Carly.
All right, mate, all right?
(GUITAR MUSIC)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Hi, Mom!
Yeah, I'm fine, how you doing?
Just doing some washing, actually.
You'll be pleased to know.
Yeah, the house is all fine.
Yes, and the goldfish.
What?
No, what, just tell me, I've got no idea.
Mom.
Oh, Mom, that's amazing, that's so cool.
Aw, congratulations, that's incredible.
Aw, bless Terry, when did he do that?
Aw, did he have a ring?
Aw, that's so romantic.
Yeah, no, we're all fine here, of course.
What, like another week?
Yeah, no, of course, don't worry about us.
That's fine.
Yeah, look, take as long as you need.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Aww.
Oh, Olly, it's Mom on the phone.
It's Mom, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mom, Olly's just come out of his room.
Let me pass you across to him.
Hi, Mom.
So when are you getting back?
It's just, I really miss you.
Just don't tell anyone, all right?
I won't.
I'll make an announcement this afternoon
to all of the office
and everyone will find.
Becks, I've got news.
Big news, you know how
I saw Andy last night?
Yeah.
Follow me.
What's going on, Vicki?
Fuck.
Oh, ugh.
It stinks.
It's not half as bad as Andy's.
Speaking of which, he's
in the toilet last night.
This is how I find out, right?
He goes to the toilet, and I
have a look in his pockets.
I know I'm not supposed to, but you know.
I look in his pockets,
and I find this receipt,
and the receipt is for
350 pounds for jewelry.
Oh, wow great.
So I'm waiting all night,
I'm waiting and I'm thinking,
"He's gonna propose, he's gonna propose,
"he's gonna propose," right?
I wasn't expecting to
be proposed to in a pub,
but you know, it's fine.
It's fine, and nothing happens.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, God, oh, God."
Then the end of the night comes,
and he says that we're
going away this weekend.
He's booked us into some Travel Inn thing
just on the way to Gatwick,
so he's going to propose
this weekend, isn't he?
Brilliant, um I really hope he does too.
So I go home and I look up which ones
they could be on the
internet, and I found two.
I recon it's this one, right, 16 stones!
16 stones, can you believe it?
Lovely.
So anyway, this afternoon I booked Mix.
Everyone's gotta come.
Don't worry, you're gonna be a bridesmaid.
Both of you, right?
But everyone's gonna come this afternoon.
Wait, wait, wait, what,
tonight you've booked?
Oh, that's lovely, but
maybe you should wait
until after he's proposed
and you're actually engaged.
And then maybe we could have
like a big celebration then,
which would be better to do it
then rather than now, Vicki.
No, don't you think maybe, a good idea?
Why wait?
Way to ruin it, Becks.
Vicki, maybe we should wait though.
Do you not think it
would be a better idea?
Then we could have a big celebration then,
rather than spreading it all out.
It would be much more fun.
I can have all the parties I want.
I can have a party now,
I can have a party after,
I could have a wedding!
I'm getting married!
[CARLY] Oh yeah.
I'm getting married!
Oh.
Oh, Vicki.
[CARLY] Come on, cheer up, Becks.
She's insane.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(SHOUTING)
I'm so proud.
I can't believe you actually came!
These are my work mates.
This is Becky, say hi.
Hi.
I can't believe you've
got all of these on.
Vick's chicks!
[ALL] Vick's chicks!
Come on, drink, yeah?
Who's gonna buy me a drink?
[ALL] Shots, shots, yeah, shots!
Whoo.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(LAUGHING)
Hi.
[STEVE] What are you
doing over here on your own?
Getting them drinks, more drinks.
Ah.
Oh, hang on, let me get that.
[BECKY] You sure?
No absolutely.
Look, I'm gonna put it on
expenses anyway, so yeah.
Thanks.
[STEVE] Well, I don't have
no idea what we're drinking.
Oh, same again, cocktail,
colored, whatever.
Same again.
[BECKY] Colored.
Colored thingies.
[BECKY] Look how happy she is.
Yeah, well, maybe she should
enjoy it while it lasts.
Okay.
Sorry, that was...
It's an engagement party.
I know, it was selfish.
Some things are not meant to
last, and I'm sure this is.
This is the one I'm getting.
This is what I think I'm getting.
I think I'm getting
this one, look at that.
Oh, that is so nice!
Look at that, look at that!
[LADY] Oh, it's gorgeous.
350, that's how much
you've got to save, Scotty.
350 pounds?
I'm never going to pay that,
I would never pay that!
Oh.
(CHATTERING)
Look, more importantly,
what are the chances
of me bumping into you
in town tomorrow, hmm?
Shall we synchronize watches?
What do you say, 50/50?
70/30?
No, pretty low.
I'm looking after my
little brother tomorrow.
I'm taking him to this
wicked place though.
I found this amazing place in Reading
that I've never been before.
Yes,
and that's it?
That's all I'm getting?
Yeah, that's what you're getting.
Actually, he'll like it.
All he does all day is sit on the sofa
playing computer games.
Finally, I think I found somewhere
that he'll actually like.
You're not going to tell
me any more than that?
[BECKY] Oh, no,
absolutely not, top secret.
See, now I'm intrigued.
[BECKY] Yeah.
Come on, Scotty, come on, take it off.
What, no, no, no, I'm...
[VICKI] It's my special day.
No.
Come on, come on.
You might like it, actually.
[STEVE] Yeah.
Yeah, it's quite cool.
Spill the beans, come
on, where are you going?
Look, I know I'm wearing a tiara, but
as your boss, I'm ordering you to tell...
No, no.
You take your dress off!
You take it off, you.
[ALL] Scotty, Scotty, Scotty, Scotty.
Off, off, off.
Take it off.
Oh sweet, Jesus.
You finally five, five available here.
No, no, no, no.
No this,
oh you gonna spank me?
(SHOUTING)
All right, I'm keeping this party, what?
[ALL] Off, off, off, off.
Off, off, off.
(SCREAMING)
[MAN] Buddy.
(SHOUTING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(SOFT MUSIC)
Look, have you seen this ax, here?
[OLLY] Yeah.
Look, how cool is that?
Can you see?
There's that double ax there, right?
That will go straight
through that horse's head.
Do you see that horse?
And then they're fighting
with their bows and arrows.
Look at all of them there.
Did you see that?
And here, right, do you
know who this guy is?
[OLLY] King Harold.
[BECKY] Yeah, exactly, King Harold.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't do that Harold bit without me.
History lesson, history lesson.
Right, so they think this guy is Harold
because of the arrow through his eye.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
But actually now we
think this one is Harold.
Do you know what they did to him?
No.
No, chopped his head
off like that, right?
Disemboweled him and then
they, um, gelded him.
What's gelded mean?
To, uh, chop his balls off.
Cool.
The notion of overkill comes
into effect there, I think.
But we don't know, who knows?
It could be this guy or
it could be this guy.
But I recon it was this one.
[OLLY] Yeah, I see.
Absolute bloody carnage is what it is.
[BECKY] Yeah, it's pretty cool though.
It's like the 1066
equivalent of a computer game.
Better than a computer game, you recon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just have to add
your own sound effects
and stuff, that's all.
Go ching, ching.
Words to that effect.
Mm hmm.
Ah, Woodley.
So good, they named it once.
[BECKY] Have you been here before?
I have, I have, I have.
I know Woodley, actually.
I grew up in a state very
similar to this, actually.
[BECKY] It's not much,
but we like it, most of it.
Yeah, it is what it is.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
In fact, my first
girlfriend was from Woodley.
I was 12, and she tasted of lollipops.
Five Oak, how's that?
Thank you, perfect.
Come on, Olly.
[OLLY] Thanks Steve.
My pleasure, sir.
[OLLY] You have a cool car.
Well, thank you.
It's not actually my
car, it's the company's
but I'll take the compliment.
Olly, let me give you the
keys to go and open the house.
Can't I stay with you?
No, no, just and go
and get some biscuits.
[STEVE] He's a good kid.
Yeah, yeah he is.
I, I should get going.
Actually, I've got some
friends coming over.
I'm doing a bit of cooking for them,
and as rock and roll as it sounds,
I need to soak some beans.
Okay.
Maybe we should do something
next weekend, if you're free.
Yeah, that would be really nice.
I mean, I could cook
for you, if you want.
How about that?
I'm quite a good cook, if I say so myself.
Proof's the pudding, so.
I've seen your place, maybe
you can come around to mine.
How about that?
Cool.
(SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC)
Was it too much?
Mm mm.
I'm gonna just...
You, yeah.
(SOBBING)
Vicki, what's wrong?
[VICKI] He bought a watch.
What, a watch?
We went away for the weekend
and he didn't say
anything on the Saturday.
Then it was Sunday, and
we're going out for dinner,
and he comes out and,
and he shows me this watch.
He was never going to propose.
Oh Vicki, I'm so sorry.
(CRYING)
Okay.
Good morning, Digital Marketing.
I don't know.
Can you just hold on a minute, please?
I'm so sorry about that.
Comme ca, madam?
What's that?
Don't worry, it's got chocolate in it.
Guys.
Oh, thank you, Stevie.
Ah, Scotty, almost didn't recognize
you with your clothes on.
Mr. Kahn's renewed the contract.
Good work.
Thanks, Steve.
(SOFT MUSIC)
Yeah, yeah, we need to use the archers
in a minute as well.
Okay.
Are you all right, Olly?
Yeah.
You're from next door, right?
Yeah.
[BECKY] Hi, I'm Becky.
Hi.
What are you playing?
Battle of Hastings, it's really cool.
Ah okay.
Well, I'll leave you boys to it.
If you need anything,
give me a shout, yeah?
[BOTH] Okay.
(GUITAR MUSIC)
[BECKY] At the harvest, keep back
some of the best of your crop.
The food grown with love
and served to the one
that you love will surely beget love.
Meet me in the morning when you rise
We'll walk through the
orchard in the sunshine
If you hold my hand,
it will be all right
And we'll stay outside
until the moonlight
We ain't got no plans
Don't have no foresight
In a semicircle
To watch the sunrise
You look oh so pretty
And the weather's fine
Wow, you look amazing.
Oh thank you.
Welcome.
Can I take your wicker basket thing?
Yeah, I brought some
stuff from my allotment.
[STEVE] Okay, fantastic.
Well come in, come in.
Thank you.
[STEVE] You found the place all right?
Yeah, fine, this is lovely.
Now, do you like your wine sweet or dry?
[BECKY] Sweet.
Okay, imagine you said dry
because that's what we've got.
[BECKY] Okay.
Prepare to be converted.
Okay.
Thank you.
Have a smell of it
first, before you try it.
Just put your nose in.
All the way, go on.
Don't be shy.
Don't snort it, but just
(SNIFFING)
you know, get the aromas.
- Mm.
- Nice?
[STEVE] Are your taste buds going?
Mm-hmm, can I try it now?
[STEVE] You can, you
can definitely try it.
Okay.
[STEVE] Smell it first.
I have, I've smelt it.
And then the taste.
- Great.
- Good.
Mm.
Kaboom, brilliant, hand it back.
[BECKY] Okay.
I'll fill it up.
You don't have to smell
it again this time.
No, thanks very much.
Ah, magnifique!
So you grew these beans yourself.
Mm hmm.
That's amazing.
They are delicious.
Oh, good, yeah, my granddad,
he gave me his allotment,
which I kind of look after and stuff, see.
Well, I think they're possibly the best
beans I've ever had in my life.
Thank you.
How's the fish?
I don't normally eat fish very much,
apart from fish fingers, so.
Right.
(SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC)
How's it going?
Yeah good.
What's that?
Just my little family heirloom.
I'm wondering how you might feel
about a little Moroccan dessert?
Uh, yeah, I like Moroccan food.
Steve, what this is,
oh my God!
Mmm, I literally haven't
smoked this since uni.
This is a really big bag.
Well, I don't smoke very often.
Just weekends and things like that.
Mm hmm.
[STEVE] No pressure.
No, no pressure.
Let's do this.
Let's do this shizzle.
That's what you say, isn't it?
I don't think so, not anymore, no.
You know I've got to tell you,
I was really nervous
before I came here tonight.
We sat down, and you brought
out this fish, you know?
And I...
Golden curry, yeah.
Curry, I just, I was just,
I didn't like the fish so much.
You didn't?
Sorry, is that mean?
It's just so like grown up.
There's fish and this sauce,
and this rice in like a shape, and I'm 25.
I normally eat rice in a bowl, you know?
In a bowl shape, you put it in a bowl.
It was in a bowl shape, yeah.
I should've checked, I'm sorry.
[BECKY] It's all right,
next time, just no, no fish.
Next date, no fish.
[STEVE] Next date?
This is a date, right?
I thought, yeah, I
thought this was a date.
This is a date.
[STEVE] This is definitely a date.
This is such a date.
[STEVE] You've come over to my flat.
You've lighted candles, this is a date.
[STEVE] This is a date,
I mean, that's a date.
This is our third date.
Uh, what, third date?
[BECKY] This is our third date.
Where are you getting
the other two from?
Well, we went to like the museum.
That was such a date.
You're brother was there!
[BECKY] It's still date.
And a large replica of a historically
significant embroidery.
(LAUGHING)
That was...
[STEVE] Well, what
was the first date then?
If that was two, what was one?
Record shop.
Jim was there, Jim the geek.
Jim was...
[STEVE] Does Jim know it was a date?
Jim loved the date!
Jim had a great time.
[STEVE] You've spoken to
Jim about the date, have you?
I just knew I could see that
Jim was like loving the date.
Well, as long as Jim,
it was a date then.
[BECKY] It was a date.
I'm not sure.
Three dates, my friend, three dates.
Okay, what does three dates mean
to someone of your generation?
Well, it means that I can stay.
Then this is definitely a third date!
Which side?
I tend to hand to the left.
Hey, oh okay.
That's the you're gonna roll, is it?
We can just lay here with
our clothes on if you want.
Hmm, mm hmm.
No, fun
Let's take (MUMBLES).
Glasses.
Have you still got your boots on?
I didn't think you'd mind.
I kind of like it.
(SOFT MUSIC)
Becky?
Becky, you need to get up, I made you tea.
I can give you a lift in,
but I got a conference call at 9:15.
I can't be late.
Okay, can I have a shower and stuff.
Of course, yeah, it's all yours.
Can you pass my shoes?
Um, not those ones.
Should be just around the side there.
Okay.
That's it thank you.
Okay, Death Star approaching.
I think this is about as close
as you'll want to risk it.
Do you mind if I drop
you on the corner here?
I know it's a bit weird, but...
It's fine, yeah.
Um, you can come around the back there.
You know, we don't arrive...
Okay all right.
I promise you, next weekend
will be amazing, all right?
Just keep the faith.
All right then, see ya.
Actually, Becky, one more thing.
Okay, just go.
All right, see you in there.
See you in there.
(LAUGHING)
That's disgusting.
Oh my God.
What's going on?
It's fucking tortoise sex.
Listen to it.
Fucking hell, that's fucking ridiculous.
I really didn't expect that.
Look, look, look.
Oh, that's gross.
Oh my fuck.
That's horrible.
That's really horrible.
Look, look, look at.
(LAUGHING)
That's really horrible.
Vicki!
Vicki, sorry to trouble you.
It's just I got a prospective
client on the phone
who wants to know what
you're doing messing around
on the internet on a Monday morning
instead of doing some work.
In fact, he'd like to
know what you're all doing
messing around on a Monday morning
instead of doing some actual work.
You should come look at
this, Steve, it's pretty funny.
Oh, great, well, as
long as it's funny, Becky,
I'm sure it's all perfectly fine.
In fact, maybe you'd like
to do me a spreadsheet
about exactly how funny it is,
and then I can take that to
the board meeting next month.
No?
Maybe somebody wants to
clear up this kitchen area.
It's a fucking pigsty.
Sorry, Steve.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I didn't mean for you to
do the tidying up either.
I thought Scotty was gonna do it.
It's fine, honestly, I totally get it.
I'm really sorry.
Vicki, there she is!
Listen, can I get a nice cup of tea
when you got a minute, please?
Absolutely.
Oh, and cactus juice for the
tortoise while you're at it.
(LAUGHING)
He's never angry for long.
That's why we love him.
Right, a half for lunch, who's coming?
Where are you going?
Polish place on the corner.
No, I'm taking him for lunch
after he won that account.
All right.
Come on big boy, it's on me.
Becks, you coming?
Oh no, I've got a loads of work to do.
Hi.
Um, sorry, I just, the others
have all gone out for lunch,
so I thought I'd come in here and say hi.
Becky, you can't, you
can't just come in here.
Sorry, I, no, I checked the office.
There's no one else here, so.
We've been over this, all right?
It's not appropriate, okay, I'm your boss.
But, I know you are, Steve.
But, you know, everyone else is gone.
I just wanted to come in here and...
Becky, look, I know this
is difficult for you, okay?
But it's difficult for me as well.
We've got to have rules.
I don't really want rules.
Becky, believe me,
I've been here before,
and the minute this
becomes office property,
it just becomes messy, okay?
That's not what I want.
What do you mean,
you've been here before?
Okay, ah.
Right.
I don't get you, I really don't.
One minute, it's like amazing,
and the next, you're telling
me to get out of your office.
Becky, I just need you
to hang in there, okay?
Let's just get to the weekend.
We can talk about it then.
I don't think that's gonna
work out for me, really.
You're an incredible guy,
but,
um, I just have...
Again, again, again, fuck.
I'm sorry.
I hope, I just don't,
how is this gonna work?
I'm 25.
I want more than like sneaking around.
Becky, I'm sorry, I just.
I think I should probably go.
Okay?
Becky.
No, I'm gonna go.
Becky,
Becky.
Becky!
Just please, just.
Soft
Fragile eyes
Reflex smile
White sheets enfold you
So new
To this world
Where have you been
Stop this 'cause you're stressing me out
My mind works far too fast
I should trust you
well, I've never fucked up
You all right?
[HIM] Yeah, you?
Fine.
How's Carly?
Fine, how's Steve?
Fine.
Good.
[BECKY] Why'd you text me?
I just wanted to clear the air
about the whole Carly,
Friday night thing, you know?
Okay.
Well, should we get a drink first, maybe?
Okay, one drink.
[BECKY] All right, one drink.
One drink.
Just one.
Okay.
Just one.
You all right?
Can I get a vodka coke,
and what do you want?
A pint, please.
And two Jagerbombs, please.
Thank you very much.
One drink.
Two Jagerbombs, please.
One drink.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
- Again.
- Another.
- Ah.
- Ugh.
Did you do it?
Mm hmm.
Gross.
So how on earth can you
be feeling like shit then?
What the hell is wrong?
Well, what's wrong with you?
Tell me about Steve.
Men are shit.
Men are shit?
Men are shit.
Women are pretty shit.
Women are not shit, men are shit.
I feeling shit because
I have been trying to get a
bike sponsorship for years.
A couple years ago, I fucked it up.
I got involved in this.
This drink and other
shit, and I ruined it.
I burned bridges, I ruined it.
Done, okay?
Fuck.
This year I have been
trying to build it back up
and to go back out there
and say, "I'm different."
This week, I go in, and I present myself.
I said, "I've changed,
this isn't me anymore."
No one wanted me.
Fuck them.
Fuck them.
Fuck them.
I tried twice, and I failed twice.
You know how hard it is?
A whole year of my life wasted.
No one wants me, no one wants me.
I'll have you.
Put the money in, put the money in.
Money, money, money.
Choose, choose.
Uh.
Okay, good.
All right.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
Well she is having major (MUMBLES)
I tried to tell her
there's nothing wrong
There's no (MUMBLES)
(MUMBLES) girl
Stay
Trousers.
Okay, the same time.
Okay.
Is that a birthmark?
[HIM] Mm hmm.
Cool.
Did you know that birthmarks
are actually the mark of kings?
That's good to know.
I haven't got a condom.
I have a condom?
Well, I didn't know I
was gonna come here with,
oh, fucker.
Maybe I can find a condom.
Maybe there's one I might.
I really, I don't have a condom.
So maybe we should just not have sex then.
Fine.
[BECKY] Fine.
No sex.
Whoa me
You all right?
I've got you a cup of
tea, if you want one.
I'm good, actually, for tea and stuff.
I've got to go.
I've got quite a lot of stuff to do today.
I lost track of time, I
lost track of the days.
This is why I shouldn't drink,
you know, I just forget.
Oh that's okay.
I had a really nice time last night.
So did I, I really did.
God, I'm trying to.
I remember most of it.
I'm just, no, it's,
I'm just trying to get
the rest in my head.
That came out wrong, didn't it?
Sorry, no, I, um,
it didn't happen
like I thought it'd happen.
That's the truth, I'm sorry, I,
I wanted it to be special, not quick.
It was too quick, and
it's my fault, I'm sorry.
I wanted to take it slow.
I wanted to take you on a proper date.
You know, get to know you
and see what'll happen
'cause you know I like you.
[BECKY] I like you.
I know, this is hard.
I think,
I should go.
You think I should go?
No, I should.
I should go.
Maybe we could see what happens,
you know, in a couple weeks
when I get my head straight.
I'll see you Monday.
(CRYING)
Mum, it's me.
No, I'm not okay at all, actually.
I really need you to come home.
No, no, no, nothing's happened, I just,
I just really need you to come home now.
I can't do it anymore, Mom.
Just, just come home.
I've got to go.
(CRYING)
I'm sorry.
(SOFT MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
The moon was hiding in the trees
The stars were drowning in the sea
And all our memories were dreams
And all our tragedies just scenes
Performed a thousand times before
Of all the paths that led to now
So many angles would show us how
This geometry has shaped our minds
Where all the numbers will combine
To prove
That I'm the same as you
So many paths have led to now
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Um, do you mind if I,
can I sit here?
Yeah, sure.
(SOFT ROCK MUSIC)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Stop this 'cause you're stressing me out
My mind works far too fast
I should trust you
Well, I've never fucked up
And I'm just hurting me
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
Stop, that's your answer always
What, to walk behind your lines?
Are you holy
Only when I'm at home
So when it suits you best
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
If this is our life
Then we should make
the most of what we have
Don't want to waste my life on
Chasing silver screen in Cannes
I could be famous if I
really, really wanted to
But I would just rather
Spend my life
And it's all in your head
And it's more than
You'd care to think about
You're no use to me dead
I need you by my side and stuck to me
Stop this
'Cause you're stressing me out
My mind works
Far too fast
I should trust you
Well, I've never fucked up
And I'm just
Hurting me
Are you hell-bent
I never said I am
So why so serious
If this is our life
Then we should make
the most of what we have
Don't want to waste my life on
Chasing silver screen in Cannes
I could be famous
If I really, really wanted to
But I would just rather spend my life
And it's all in your head
And it's more than
You'd care to think about
You're no use to me dead
I need you by my side
And stuck to me