A Tale of Two Bunnies (2000) Movie Script
1
In Playboy Club history,
25,121 gorgeous women have
proudly worn the bunny tail.
This story has absolutely
nothing to do with any of them.
Lalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Lalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Chez Paree.
This is the big time.
Yeah.
Ah, look at the cars!
Wow.
How about riding in style?
That's something.
Wow.
Look at that woman's hat.
Wow.
That's not a hat.
That's a dead chicken.
I would not be caught dead in that thing.
Look at that one.
That flare thing she's wearing
makes her look like a pear.
What kind of fur is that?
Skunk?
The cute guy with her though.
Yeah, bet he's rich.
Sure got off cheap with old Pepe Le Pew.
Wow.
Look at that turquoise dress.
Jeez Louise.
This is so much better
than the crud outside the
Black Orchid last night.
It doesn't even compare.
Or two nights ago outside the Cloisters.
Ugh, please.
Oh, that black dress.
That's the one I want.
That's too plain.
I think it's classy.
Oh.
You've got a thing in your teeth.
Oh.
Right there between the
middle one and the other one.
No, hold on, let me see.
Mhmm, all right.
Let's go.
We gotta get up for work tomorrow.
Don't do it, Ruby.
You can't get ahead,
Betty, if you don't even try.
Come in.
Mr. Cage?
Sir.
Yes?
I was just thinking about our...
I mean, your dresses.
Ah, it's good to know you girls
are thinking about your job.
Sir, I was just wondering If I can-
- Can't this wait until tomorrow?
My wife has a roast on Wednesday.
And she'll kill me if I'm a second late.
This will only take a second.
I was thinking that if we were to add
a couple of darks down here
by the waist like this,
it would turn this drab
Wednesday house dress
into "Look out ladies, here I come!"
I mean do you see how
it would emphasize her,
you know?
Today's housewife is
looking for comfort.
It would still be comfortable.
But she wants to look good too.
Why?
For the plumber.
Plumber?
And for herself while she's cleaning up
around the house.
While she's vacuuming
and doing the dishes
and scrubbing the toilets?
Yes!
I mean what better time to feel attractive
than when you're doing things
that make you feel so unattractive?
Mr. Cage, if we can
make a flattering dress
with the same price as
an unflattering dress,
then we will sell more dresses-
- What is she doing?
To more women who will feel better
about wearing the dresses we make
and we will feel better about making them!
How much time did this take?
I just spent a little time today.
How many hours did you spend
on this dress this afternoon?
Not much.
You didn't do any work today, did you?
You're fired.
Clean out your locker.
Bye.
All right, Jordan
locks up the truck.
Well?
Did he like it?
Not exactly.
What does he know anyway?
Wait, Ruby, what's the big hurry?
My God, you stole those!
Shh!
They're just fabric samples.
Well what if you get caught?
I won't get caught.
Well if you do, you're gonna be fired.
I am fired.
You're fired?
Housecleaning, assembly line,
laundromat, Playboy Bunny tryouts.
Shh.
Look at that outfit!
Come way up in the leg like that?
Makes her legs like 10
feet long, it's genius.
I wouldn't wear it.
Look at the waist all
squeezed in like that.
Come on, she looks like a million.
My what a baby, ooh yeah
You would look great in it.
Who wouldn't?
Okay, listen to this.
Big bunny, oh yeah
You'll meet internationally
famous people.
Hah!
Obviously you've never
seen a Playboy Magazine.
It's not the same thing.
This is a waitressing thing.
With almost no clothes on.
So what?
Probably too flat-chested anyway.
Oh my god.
Can you believe it?
That was so bad.
If I want men to ogle me,
I can just stay at my own job, okay?
End of conversation.
Okey-dokey.
You know what I'm
thinking about right now?
Two front row center
stage seats at Chez Paree.
- Ruby!
- What?
I'm just thinking out loud.
Loud enough so I can hear you.
Fine.
It's just that if we took this little job,
I can maybe get enough money together
to start my own business.
So can you!
You're the one with the dream.
I prefer to wear clothes to work.
You are such a prude.
Why did the
chicken cross the road?
How should I know?
You know, this would
look so good on you.
I'm doing it in your favorite color.
Very chic.
Don't you belittle me, mister.
Don't you think she
kind of looks like you?
Man, you know what,
I don't even know why I bother anyway
if we can't afford to go anywhere.
Would you stop it, please?
Yeah, well it's great
doing business with you.
At Hellman's, we aim to please.
Hundred feet of piping,
you get a free hot seat.
Okay.
Thank you, bye bye.
After while, crocodile.
Come on, come on in.
The door is always open.
I was just on my way home, Mr. Hellman.
Such a polite thing.
I keep telling you, call me Norm.
Well, I was just wondering.
It's the first of the month, and-
- And?
My parents, they count on me for help.
They're having some financial-
- Oh, say no more.
I forgot a little something, didn't I?
Come on, come on in.
I don't bite.
Ah, now where did I put that checkbook?
It's here somewhere.
Be a doll, look on the
shelf over there, will you?
I know it's around here somewhere.
It's up here.
Sorry, I'm in your way.
Here it is.
Oh.
How silly is that?
Good eyes.
So,
what do you say I
take you out for a
sandwich or something, hmm?
If you don't mind, I sort
of have a bad headache.
Hey, Uncle Normie knows
how to get rid of bad headaches.
Good night, Mr. Hellman.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
And you can core an apple
with the same-
Come on, girl,
come on, come on, come on.
Keep going, keep going,
good good good!
The new 1961 Stop and Stitch
electric zigzag sewing machine
comes with a fashion disk,
rocking wheel, button,
and belt with attachments.
You can even resole your shoes.
Available now for the
low low price of 29.95.
- Rub it in, why don't you?
- The new Stop and Stitch.
Make sewing a snap.
Work, you stupid piece of crap!
Ugh!
Hey.
Hey.
Ugh, food, thank God!
My stomach has been growling for hours.
I thought you said you
were gonna clean this up?
I'm so tired.
Not too tired to sew.
Uh-oh, he did it again, didn't he?
Holly, you gotta quit that job.
Right, then we'd both be unemployed.
What are you doing?
I thought we agreed.
Hmm?
One stick per person per day.
I'm hungry.
Give it back.
So I'll skip a day.
Don't push me, Ruby.
Give it.
I'm getting licorice if I want.
Ruby!
Uh-uh.
Uh, look at that.
Give it to me!
Don't pull it.
Ah, ooh!
Oh man.
Come on!
Look at this.
You go ahead.
What are we doing?
I don't know.
We should take the job.
Come on, Holly, what do you say?
Will we have to tell our folks?
I can't believe we're doing this.
Just think about old Uncle Normie
making your headache go away.
Okay, I'm walking, I'm walking.
Me, I am thinking about a
ruby rare steak, blood running,
and a baked potato with so much
sour cream, it's like soup.
The Norm thing works better for me.
I can't do this.
Go!
Come on, let's make it happen.
Oh, I think I'm gonna upchuck.
Come on.
All right,
gentlemen, surf and turf
and a steak?
Wow, and dope, it looks great.
Yeah, thank you dear.
Are you here to audition?
You could tell?
We look that nervous?
Well, women are only allowed
as guests of keyholders.
Oh, right.
We knew that.
Across the room to the back,
down the stairs and to your right.
Relax, you're making me nervous.
Okay, Holly, shoulders back, chest up.
God wouldn't give you that body
if he wanted you to be ashamed of it.
You sound like a pimp!
Leave it to cleavage.
Ruby!
Oh.
- What happened to her?
- Loser.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobombobobom
Dadangadangdang
Blue moon
You saw me standing alone
Let's go.
I heard they take your
picture in a swimsuit.
In your swimsuit?
Holy moley.
I'm Denise, this is Nancy.
Say hello, Nancy.
Hello.
I'm Ruby, this is Holly.
Nice to meet you all.
You can all go on home now.
I'm just kidding.
When will I know?
Like I said, we'll be in touch.
Reject.
Ruby!
Okay, number 15?
Ah, that's me.
Buh-bye.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Not everybody can get the job.
Blue moon
So what is your name
and where are you from?
Well my name is Denise Smith.
I'm Nancy Miller.
I just go by Ruby.
Tennessee originally,
by way of Kentucky.
Columbus, Ohio.
I was Miss Jamboree.
I'm from Independence.
That's in Missouri.
It's the Show Me State.
Mostly ride on floats
and wave to the folks.
I won the blue ribbon
for sheep shearing.
Harry S. Truman was
born in Independence.
We're independently minded.
One time I fell on the
float and my crown fell off.
And this man Jimmy's tractor ran it over.
My parents would die if they knew
I was even considering this.
Oh.
Well, I have a lot of experience
in the design industry.
In fact, I was thinking,
I don't know, update the bunny costumes.
So many ideas.
Bold, abstract prints?
Leopard print bunnies.
Can't you just see that?
I was born for this job,
when it comes to ideas.
If maybe you ever wanted
help, you know, fashion-wise,
I could take you shopping.
I could.
I would be willing to do that
and you know, maybe take
you to get a new do.
I mean, the only reason I ask.
I like your hair, really.
It's very vibrant.
Not that I don't like it, but it looks...
Ladies about your age...
I mean you must have to have
that processed all the time.
So, where do I sign up?
Holly Tanner.
Holly.
You don't hear that name much.
I was born at Christmas.
Oh, that's sweet.
It's okay.
I won't bite.
Well, you're certainly pretty enough.
Well, thanks.
What's the matter?
People don't tell you that often?
No.
Do you always wear so little makeup?
Oh.
I'm just curious.
It's okay.
So you're new to town, huh?
Near the top of your class.
No college?
Well my folks couldn't
afford to send us both
and my sister, she's really smart
so I wanted her to go.
So why do you think
you want to be a bunny?
The truth?
Hmm.
I think genetically,
I have a really nicely
shaped head for bunny ears.
I had a bunny once
when I was a little girl.
His name was Bobo.
Jimmy's tractor ran that over too.
Oh.
For the money?
Nothing wrong with that.
It's better to be honest.
Do you have any waitress experience?
Ruby and I, she's the one you just met.
Oh yeah.
We worked at the Dairylicious.
Well, that's about it.
Well I think we should
take this to the next step.
How would you feel about our
taking some photographs of you?
Oh, I didn't bring my own suit.
Oh, that's okay.
We'd like to see you in the real thing.
Really?
Is that a problem?
Well no, it's just that,
Ruby, she really wants to work here and
if you were to say, hire me and not her?
I'm sorry, but you're the
one who's bunny material.
I can't take this job if Ruby doesn't.
She's really smart and talented, and...
Oh and she's so strong.
You should see her play softball.
Not that that's what we do here, but,
if you had things,
like those trays, they look really heavy.
Ruby, she could carry those, no problem.
Just-
Does she stick up for you
as much as you stick up for her?
Ruby would do anything for me.
For anybody.
People really like her.
Right this way.
Oh, Judy.
A little bit more.
Amanda, brighter lipstick.
Mmm, you like that bleu cheese,
don't you, Kelsey?
Come on, Michelle, you're up.
Thelma, I've got two auditions here!
Hold your horses, Seabiscuit!
Who else is gonna weigh these porkers?
It's like backstage at the Rockettes!
This is the big time.
It sure is.
All right, girls, over here.
All right.
You try this one.
And you-
- I know, black is really my color,
in bathing suits and bunny outfits.
You have to graduate to black.
Black is for top bunnies only.
All right, here.
This one'll fit you.
Hey, hey, hey.
What are you, decorating a Christmas tree?
Leave the bunny design to the expert.
I thought red for Ruby, that's her name.
Oh, red for Ruby, isn't that sweet?
Green.
Red would be a cliche.
Green's fine.
I wouldn't wanna step
on your toes, Thelma.
Watch it, bean pole.
Is pink okay?
Yeah, sure, I'm easy.
Stick with me, honey.
I'll make you look like a million bucks.
Hey.
Rabbits for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
No wonder I'm just a hop, skip and jump
away from the looney bin.
Here.
Hey, Goldilocks!
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You're a mess!
You can change over there.
Is there a curtain or something?
You better get used to it.
Natalie.
Your ears are crooked.
I can't do this.
What about me?
I stuffed my brassiere!
Girls, get a move on.
All right ladies, listen up.
Baby bunnies on the floor,
so remember, no peeking.
Now, girls, you won't have to worry
about being naked in front
of total strangers anymore,
because after today,
we won't be total strangers.
Okay.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You know, the last girl I corseted up,
two broken ribs and a punctured lung.
Oh, gosh.
I'm kidding.
Only one cracked rib.
Hairline thin, nothing to worry about.
It's a little hard to breathe at first
but you get used to it.
All right, turn around.
Let's see.
Hmm.
Oh my god, we gotta give
this girl some bazooms.
Here.
Barbie socks, they're clean, stuff.
Go on.
You ever see Jane Mansfield?
Yeah.
Well, her you're not
and you never will be.
Go on, down the sides and on the bottom.
In and up, in and up.
Come on, come on!
Just let them lay on top.
That'll do the job nicely.
Go on, stuff.
Go on, girly.
Ah, check, two torpedoes in the hole.
Who said the army cornered
the market on rockets, huh?
Doris!
What's with the droopy drawers?
Oh!
Damn, we look good.
Woo!
Go on, Holly, give it a little shake.
No.
Come on, please?
Spin around or something.
You look great, you really do.
Like a million bucks.
Now let's go have our pictures taken.
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don't get no spending cash
If you don't scrub that kitchen floor
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Just finish cleaning up your room
Let's see that dust
fly with that broom
Get all that garbage out of sight
Or you don't go out Friday night
Yakkety yak, don't go back
You just put on your coat and hat
And walk yourself to the laundromat
And when you finish doing that
Bring in the dog and put out the cat
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Woohoo!
Hello, I'm your bunny Ruby.
And I'm your bunny Holly.
Oh no.
What?
Bunny Holly, Buddy Holly?
Buddy Holly, Bunny Holly?
No one will ever think of that
in a million years but you.
Hi there.
- Mmm.
- Hah!
I cannot wait to go tell my boss
to jump in a lake.
He already fired you.
Let's not drudge up the past, okay?
Let's celebrate.
Oh my gosh, look at this!
That's me in six months.
And that, that is you.
I am gonna buy a mink stole too,
five evening gowns, a pair of shoes
for every outfit I own!
Let's eat.
You ain't got time to take a ride
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Bottom of the ninth here,
Laroux steps in, the
last chance for his club.
Two men on and two out.
There's a slight breeze
blowing on right field.
Come on.
I'm starving, hello.
If he can get a hold
of one at Mike Carey if he
can set up in the bridge.
Mhmmm, you have no idea
how much we're gonna enjoy this!
Knocks
the dirt out of his spikes.
Mmm.
Mmmm.
Oh, mm!
Oh.
Sorry.
We just got out of prison.
May I borrow your salt and pepper?
Thanks.
Let's go over it again.
Merit demerit schedule.
Horseradish.
Hello?
Right there, excuse me.
Merit demerit schedule.
A bunny who earns a hundred merits
is awarded the sum of 25 dollars.
A bunny who gets a hundred demerits
is dismissed from the Playboy Club.
Wow, that's harsh.
Ketchup.
Ketchup!
The girl needs ketchup down here?
Thank you.
Merits cancel out demerits
at the rate of one merit
for every one demerit.
Steak sauce, hi.
It is a steak, you know?
Chewing gum in front of
a customer, 10 demerits.
A bunny must present herself
in the most pleasing and
professional manner possible.
Chives, I need chives so bad.
Come on.
Thanks so much.
What-didididi, stop, stop.
Little bit here.
Okay, whoa whoa whoa, tututut!
Stop when I say stop.
That's what you get.
Calling in your drink order.
Hello?
Can we get two more of this please?
You know what?
Do you have a dessert menu?
And it's deep!
I have got to have a piece of pie
or I will die.
I am Miranda Montel
and I will be your bunny mother.
Your teacher, your boss, your friend.
In the tradition of the
famous Ziegfield Follies girl,
the bunny has become the quintessence
of the American female.
Today, bunny is the synonym
for the beautiful,
glamorous, elegant ladies
you will all become.
As a bunny, you have
joined a company of girls
who with good reason,
are both respected and admired.
As a bunny once said,
you are holding the top job in America
for a young girl today.
So, chins up.
Stand tall and let's begin!
The bunny stance.
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Angel eyes
I really love you so
Angel eyes
I'll never let you go
Because I love you
My darling angel eyes
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Write this down.
It's all about presentation.
Present the bunny image.
If you are right-handed...
Warm.
Your left leg goes forward.
Lovely.
You arch your back.
Bright.
Tuck in your hips.
And friendly.
- Friendly.
- Come on, write this down.
The bunny dip.
The Playboy Club keys.
You roll your shoulder back.
The initial key.
And lock your elbow into your hip bone.
And the very special C-1 keyholders
are friends of Mr. Hefner.
C-1 is mucho moolah.
Always point your tail
in the direction of the
person you're serving.
Wow.
That's a really good dip.
Angel eyes
I really love you so
Angel eyes
I'll never let you go
Because I love you
My darling angel eyes
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Look at her.
She's copying us.
Thank you.
Okay.
How do I look?
If we leave it there,
it'll turn into a cocoon.
Oh gosh, help.
Okay.
Thanks.
Tub of lard.
You better lay off the mashed potatoes
or they're gonna throw you overboard
and use you as an anchor.
I gained another pound.
What are those?
Diet pills.
When you eat like I
do, you need the pills.
Okay Hollywood, you're next.
I ate a big meal last night.
Oh yeah?
Let me guess.
You splurged and you had two grapes
with your soda cracker.
What do we do again
if someone gets fresh?
Gentlemen, you're not allowed
to touch the bunnies.
And that works?
What if they don't pay
attention to the rules?
Oh baby, with this ridiculous costume
comes a lot of power.
All you have to do is learn how to use it.
If that doesn't work,
well then there's always,
Ben!
Oh, Ben, I'm sorry, I thought
I had a run, but okay.
Thanks.
Okay, Evie, you're in the showroom.
And Judy, Denise and Nancy,
you're in the lounge.
Come on.
Come on, girls.
See, we'll be fine.
She seems nice.
Oh and she's real smart too.
Hey Evie, what's that word of yours
that I like so much?
Zygote.
Zygote, dammit, sounds so smart.
I wish I could figure out a way
to use them on customers, like,
that martini reminds
me so much of a zygote.
I can't believe it!
What?
What happened to her?
Too many demerits.
Honey, that's why I say
you need to stay on your toes
and save your money.
Have a good night.
All right, girls.
Time to go on.
Here we go.
Gee whiz
Look at his eyes
Gee whiz
How they hypnotize
The two of you wait for me over there.
I need to talk to Ben.
Okay.
Ben?
Two girls in four.
- This keeps running up.
- Bro, hey hey hey.
Ooh, yeah.
I'll put Holly in the Premiere Lounge
and Ruby in the Showroom?
All right, that's good.
- That's okay?
- Mhmm.
So, you ready?
Is Herb gonna be here?
Who?
Herb Hefner.
No, Herb will not be here.
Okay.
Look pretty, think happy.
Go ahead, go.
Ben, really keep an eye on them.
Who's Herb?
Oh, jeepers.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
How they hypnotize
He's got everything
I forgot, what do we do first?
Go to the bar, grab a tray.
Right, tray.
Then what?
Just follow me.
Gee whiz
He's all a joy
Gee whiz
I could fan it, boy
It's all of us, it's paradise
I hope I'm not his decoy
Heaven up above
Knows how much
I love that fella so
Angels sing of the love that rings
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
My my oh my
Come on, girls.
Over here.
Uh-oh, fresh lambs for the slaughter.
Hey, Corky, be nice.
They're smarter than you.
Yeah, but they're not as cute.
All right.
Time to make money.
Good luck.
Oh, wait.
I could find in a boy
It's so nice, it's paradise
Hello.
I'm your bunny Ruby.
May I see the member's key please?
And your name please?
- Stevenson.
- Oh, C-1.
And how may I serve you this evening?
Any way you like, honey.
God I'm lucky.
Look at me, talking to the most
beautiful bunny in the room.
Thank you, Mr. Stevenson.
James.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
It's a good night for starting out.
Bears have their first season game.
And that's good?
Yeah, it's the Bears.
Whatever you say.
It's just that those people
won't show up till later.
You want me to introduce
you to any of the players
if they come in?
You can if you want.
It doesn't matter.
You must not be from Chicago.
Oh, it's that obvious?
It's not a bad thing.
Oh, well, here goes nothin'.
Honey, I believe you're over there.
Oh, thanks.
Good luck.
Behave.
I'm working, I'm working.
I bet.
Heaven up above
Knows how much
I love that fella so
Hello.
Sorry it came up,
I had a little frog in my throat.
Let's hope it doesn't jump out.
I'm your bunny Holly.
Whoa nelly
And I'm your Chubby Checker.
I'm the Elvis Presley.
I love that guy
You okay?
Sure, right.
May I see your member's key please?
Oh, that's me.
Here you go.
And your name, sir?
Mayor Richard Daley.
Andy Peterson.
You really had me going.
Would you care for a drink, sir?
Scotch and water.
Slow Screw.
I think you're getting
a Playboy Bunny confused
with some other kind of girl.
No, no, a Slow Screw, the drink.
And would you like that in a mug
for an extra $1.50?
His decoy
Uh-oh, what happened?
A Slow Screw?
Already?
It's a sloe gin and orange juice.
And a Cutty Sark and water.
Sorry, I got the order wrong.
And I don't remember the
glasses or the garnishes.
I'm gonna stink at this.
It's okay, it happens to everybody.
Oops, no touching the bunnies.
Bad hand.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
How you doing?
I just accused a man of
calling me a prostitute
when he wanted a sloe
gin and orange juice.
Other than that, I'm great.
Scotch, two Bourbon, Martini
dry and a Tom Collins in mug.
You sold a mug already?
I was born for this.
Gee whiz
Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly.
If I had to say that one more time tonight
I think I would die.
Oh, we're on our way, Holly,
we are on our way.
Yeah?
Where exactly are we going?
I feel like Jesse James.
Put that away before someone sees you!
Oh, Holly Merryweather Tanner.
I met a guy tonight, a real dream.
And he's rich too.
In the club, are you nuts?
You could get fired for just
telling him your last name.
Ah, but he has a C-1 key.
Whatever you say, Ruby.
Just wake me when the bus comes.
She takes the celery,
swirls it about the glass
and dips it over the rim for two!
Bunny Holly has once again
successfully garnished
a Bloody Mary.
Stop it, Corky.
Uh-oh, I see a grin.
I think she likes me.
You two would make a cute couple.
And I'd be out of a job.
Oh, who needs money when you have me?
I'm a tripper.
No I'm not.
Hey, hey, you, bunny girl.
Excuse me sir, I'm trying to work.
Since when do they take
the play out of playmates?
I'm not a playmate, I'm a bunny.
Ooh.
It's a pleasure serving you, gentlemen.
So, can I buy you, can I buy you,
can I buy you a drink?
You and your two round friends here.
Bunnies aren't allowed to
drink with the customers.
I'm not a normal customer, and I am.
And I'm in love with your tail.
You're not allowed to touch the bunny.
Oh, it's only touching your tail.
We can save the rest for later.
Oh, ah!
Ugh!
Oh!
I'm so, sorry, sir.
What the hell?
Ben!
The room director will
be here to help you.
Room director?
Room director?
May I see your key, sir?
Your poor parents.
They must be so ashamed.
Wow, look at that girl.
Oh whoa
Whoa
He'll have his key taken away from him.
I'm from a place where
if a guy gets fresh you call his father
and he gets a whupping.
You ever hear of Rowing Fork, Kansas?
No.
It's the kind of place
where if a boy gets fresh
you call his father
and he gets a whupping.
That's where I'm from.
And if I'd had stayed,
I'd be married with six kids,
piles of dirty laundry
and a complete set of
grapefruit smoothies.
Oh yeah and if I were really lucky,
I'd be a checkout girl
at the corner market.
We're both a long way from home, Holly.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.
So blue
Holly?
I heard what happened, I'm sorry.
Ruby, don't say anything, okay?
But I'm giving my notice at the club.
What?
Just like that?
Holly, one lousy drunk comes
on to you and you crumble?
Do you have any idea how
much money we made this week?
So blue
Oh yeah
Wake up little Susie, wake up
Wake up
Good morning, sunshine.
Wake up.
Come on, you have to come with me
to look at an apartment.
We have an appointment in one hour.
I can't move.
Oh I know, those trays
are so heavy, aren't they?
Let me get you a cup of coffee.
What am I gonna tell your mama
What am I gonna tell your pop
What am I gonna tell our
friends when they say
Just because you're being nice to me
doesn't mean that I'm
gonna change my mind.
Sugar?
Two.
Well I told your mama
That you'd be in by 10
Where is it?
Close to work.
Wake up little Susie
Wow, saucer even.
We gotta go home
What am I gonna tell our
friends when they say
Tada!
The Playboy Mansion.
They took a vote, we're in.
Ruby.
Please, just take a look.
Wow.
Jeez Louise.
This is my kind of place.
All this for just one guy?
Oh, lots of people come here.
Lenny Bruce, Leroy Neiman.
- Oh.
- Liz Taylor.
Liz Taylor stays here?
Well, mostly they come to the parties.
But some stay at guests too.
Come on.
Look at the furniture,
it's fabulous expensive.
A piano!
You play?
Her mom made her take
classes with Mr. Frank.
Play something, Holly.
No.
Go on, Holly, play.
Okay.
Wow, look at all this art.
Is it real?
Yeah, originals.
It's pretty cool, huh?
Oh, look at that one.
Poor guy must have been
drunk when he painted that.
It's called "Woman
By The Straight Line".
It's intentional.
You know, abstract art.
I was just testing you.
- And.
- Food!
24 hours a day, whatever you want.
And wait till you taste it.
But just to be able to eat again.
Makes the job just a little bit sweeter?
Am I missing something?
Okay.
You got yourself two new tenants.
Bunny bowling.
Do we have to pay extra for this?
Yeah.
Wake up little Susie, wake up
The movie wasn't so hot
It didn't have much of a plot
We fell asleep
Oh, I can't do this anymore, Denise.
Just five more minutes.
Jack Lalaine says that's all it takes
to redistribute your weight.
You've been sitting in
that sauna huh, not bad.
Ruby, you're late again.
I know, but you covered
for me, didn't you?
James just wouldn't let me go.
Hey Olive Oyl, come on.
Come on.
Come on, I ain't gonna bite you.
Let's see if you can even
get the dial to move.
Another pound.
That's seven.
I'd say you're losing a pound a week.
Let me guess, you're dressing up
as a toothpick for Halloween.
I just haven't felt very well lately.
Yeah, me either.
In Alabama today,
the 21st of November,
1961, the unrest continues.
Riots broke out early this morning
in response to the latest
freedom riot into Birmingham.
Several negro residents
were severely beaten.
Attempts to force the
desegregation of a state
that is so far refusing
to grant negroes equality
has led to repeated bouts
of violence and bloodshed.
Prayers for your family, honey.
Georgia, Ruby, Holly.
Oh, hell, any of you that
don't have anywhere to go
for Thanksgiving, you're all
welcome to come to my house.
Ray and I are making a turkey.
Aw!
Except you, fella.
Well, that's okay by me
because I got a date.
Woo!
He's loaded and I ain't bringing him
around you vultures.
Oh my gosh.
So then, Holly goes up to this guy
and she says to the drunk,
"Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly."
I swear.
And he puts his hand on her thigh
and he says "Hold on out, honey,
I can only talk to one of you at a time."
You remember the guy
who always had an erection?
- Oh my god.
- No, no, no, oh.
He couldn't order a drink
without getting a total teepee.
What was his name?
Oh I don't know what his name was.
I think it was something like Weiner?
No, no, no, no, Woody!
No, darlings, it was Jonesy.
- Did you serve him, Evie?
- It was so bad.
What?
Did you serve?
Oh, Ray, don't be so serious.
No, Evie.
I wanna know.
Did you serve him?
Ray, relax, he was harmless.
Excuse me.
Ray!
Excuse me.
Ray!
Ray.
Ray.
What?
What are you doing?
What am I doing?
I can't handle this anymore.
And I can't just sit
there and listen to you
talk like that to your friends!
What are you talking about?
My god, we're just joking around?
Just joking around?
I'm tired of this whole job you've got.
Ruby, maybe you should eat something.
Oh, I'm just not very hungry tonight.
I can't make this kind of
money doing anything else,
what do you want me to do?
You might as well just be a prostitute.
I mean what am I supposed to tell people?
What am I supposed to
tell my friends at school?
My wife is working as a Playboy bunny?
Ridiculous!
Then you go put
yourself through school!
Fine, maybe I will!
Get out!
I quit college and bust
my butt to pay his tuition
and he has the nerve to be jealous?
He thinks that I go to
work to pick up men.
I mean, it's not like
there's any other job
that I could get that's
gonna pay that well.
Amen, sister.
Well thanks for dinner, Evie.
It's really lovely.
Baby
Baby
You did something to me
- Hi, I'm-
- Your Bunny Ruby.
- How may I-
- Serve you tonight?
So, what can I get you folks?
I couldn't sleep at all last night
Hi.
I'm your Bunny Georgia.
Now what can I get you all this evening?
When I was tossing and turning
Turning and tossing
Tossing and turning all night
Jumped out of bed
Turned on the light
I pulled down the sheet
Holly, Holly.
Roll up the shade
Turned off the light
I jumped back into bed
It was the middle of the night
She's amazing.
This clock now stay was striking four
- Hi.
- Congratulations,
miss Bunny of the Week.
Thank you.
I heard the milkman at the door
'Cause I was tossing and turning
Tossing and turning all night
Jumped out of bed
Turned on the lights
No earrings and no gum.
She went to the
kitchen from the height
Rolled up the shade,
turned off the light
I jumped up into bed
It was the middle of the night
Dear mom and dad,
Chicago's great.
That's a lot of money there.
Yeah, I'm sending it home.
I heard the milkman at the door
'Cause I was tossing and turning
Turning and tossing
Tossing and turning all night
Ba-baby I was tossing
Ruby has 53 demerits, hmm, hmm, hmm.
I look at the mountains
I look at the sun
I look at everything
Mother nature has done
And I wanna know why can't
I find a love of my own
The girl of my dreams.
Yeah, she's great, isn't she?
Not her, you.
Here's to Bunny of the Week
for the third week in a row.
You know, somebody's
gonna take you seriously
and we'll both get demerits.
Yeah, as long as you take me seriously.
So I sit down, sit down
Don't think the thing over
Is it something I've done
So we just call later.
I look at flowers
I gotta go.
In foolish blue
I should be happy
But I'm filled with gloom
And I wanna know why
Can't I find a love of my own
I think you better get back to work.
Why can't I find a love
I will see you later, alligator.
I hope so.
Of my own
- Good night, you guys.
- Holly,
You were so good tonight.
Good night.
Good night.
I'll see you guys, bye.
Thank you.
- Be good.
- Oh, all of a sudden.
Be good.
Good night.
Good night, Corky.
Good night.
Wait, let me walk you.
Yeah.
It's quiet out.
Kind of reminds me of home.
Do you miss home?
Sometimes.
Me too.
What?
Nothing.
Well, it's not a
Rolls Royce, but it's...
I can give you a ride home if you...
Can I give you a ride home, Holly?
Oh.
Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.
Good night, Corky.
Shh, shh!
Surprise!
Jingle bells, someone tell
Holly it's her day
And her family of bunny friends
Are here to celebrate hey
Jingle bells, someone tell
Holly it's her day
And her family of bunny friends
are here to celebrate, hey
Open mine first, open
mine first, open mine first.
Open it, open it!
The Northwestern University handbook!
I'll help you apply if you want.
Thank you, Evie.
You're welcome.
All right, open mine.
All right, all right!
I designed it myself.
You made this?
Yeah, only my sewing
machine broke at the end
so I had to stitch up the back by hand.
Oh, Ruby, it's fabulous!
Thank you.
Oh my god.
Who'd have thought old skin and bones
could have this kind of talent?
Boy, now there's a compliment.
Who said it was a compliment?
Try it on, try it on, try it on.
No, no, she has another
one to open first, from me.
First this.
25 dollars for 100 merits.
Oh, Holly!
And.
This.
Holy cow!
Oh bunny girl
The pipes, the pipes are calling
From club to club
And down to the mansion
Chicago's best
Or Hef's fine bunnies
Oh Holly Tanner
Best Bunny girl, we love you so
You're the best bunny I've ever had.
You earned it.
Oh!
Holly, try your ears on!
There was a smart mob boss
who decided to hire a deaf
mute as his accountant
'cause he couldn't talk.
One day he discovers there's
a million dollars missing
from the bank account.
So he hires an interpreter
and he wants to grill the guy.
He says "Ask him how much
money's in the bank account."
The interpreter goes "How much money
is in the bank account?"
The guy goes, "It's all there,
there's two million dollars."
And so the mob guy goes "Look, tell him
there's a million dollars missing
and I wanna know where it is."
He goes, "There's a
million dollars missing.
I wanna know where it is."
And the mute goes "I don't
know what you're talking about.
It's all there."
The mob guy takes out a
gun and says "Listen you,
I'm gonna blow your head off
if you don't tell me where the money is!"
The interpreter goes, "Listen you."
You know, he had the accent too.
He goes, "Listen you.
I'm gonna blow your head off
if you don't tell me where the money is!"
The mute guy's freaking out,
his arms are a million a mile minute.
He goes "It's under my
bed, it's under my bed,
it's under my bed!"
And the interpreter looks
at the mob guy, he says,
"He says he thinks you're bluffing."
True story, true story.
Gin and tonic.
Scotch and soda.
Oh, no, no, no.
Whiskey Sour.
Cuba Libre?
Oh, I don't remember
what order they go into.
Whiskey Sour, Scotch and
Soda, Gin and Tonic, Cuba Libre.
Just remember, Whales
Swimming Gather No Coral.
What?
The first letters.
Oh, okay.
Gee, thanks Holly, you're the best.
Hey look, I got my first $50 tip!
Ooh girl, I love those.
You know what, you have
become one good little bunny.
Thanks.
And I'm really gonna miss you.
Miss me?
Where are you going?
Back home to Alabama.
I wanna see if my family's
okay and everything.
Wow, I knew you were thinking about it
but aren't you scared?
Scared?
It's my home.
Oh, Georgia.
Hey, it's gonna be okay.
You're gonna come back though, right?
Now, Holly.
Where's a gal like me
gonna make money this good?
His wife says "Wow,
can you do that again?"
He says "I don't think so.
I don't think I can fit
another roll up my tush!"
Get some cigarettes?
Ma'am, would you like some?
Hey, how you doing, Rube?
Great.
I missed you the last
couple nights after work.
Been busy.
Well I tried on the dress.
It's incredible.
That's great.
Look, I've gotta work, so.
You know, I'm gonna wear it
to the New Year's Eve party.
Great.
It's good to see you're
doing your fashions again.
Haven't seen much of that lately.
Ruby, please.
You're my best friend.
Please don't be mad at me
because I got the black
suit and you didn't.
It's just an outfit.
Ooh bunny girl
Hey Ruby, look at the dress!
Ruby?
Ruby, wake up.
You're missing the New Years Eve Party.
Ruby, wake up.
Ruby?
Dammit, Ruby.
Ruby, wake up!
Ruby, wake up, wake up!
You've been sleeping all day.
I was having the most amazing dream.
Did it go something like this?
Dammit Ruby, you've gotta
stop taking those pills!
They're messing you all up,
I hardly recognize you!
I will be recognizable
in exactly 10 minutes.
Ugh!
Party time.
Va-va-va-voom.
Stop it, Corky.
I am looking at the most
beautiful girl in the room.
Except for Ruby, of course.
And don't you forget it.
I will see you two little
love bunnies later.
She's a big girl, Holly.
She knows what she's doing.
I don't think she does.
Happy New Years, gentlemen.
Hi, James.
My god.
Don't you look delicious.
Oh, you like it?
We should have New Years more often.
Excuse us gentlemen,
there's something I need to discuss
with this handsome man.
Hope you don't mind me dragging you away.
Mind?
I was just biding my time
waiting for you to come down.
You hungry?
There's a fabulous buffet
in the dining hall.
No, no, no, I'm not eating tonight.
I'm just drinking.
It's easier for me to watch the figure.
Well, I trust I'll get to see
a little bit more of it later.
Holly.
There's someone I'd like you to meet.
This is James, remember?
It's nice to meet you, James.
Wow.
It's nice to meet you, Holly.
That's a fabulous dress, my dear.
Ruby designed it for me.
Hidden talents.
She designed her own dress too.
My goodness.
We're in the company of an artist.
So, Bunny Holly.
You gonna sing Peggy Sue for me?
Girl needs a refill.
Here you go.
No, thank you.
Oh, wait.
You can go.
Remember we
have to work tomorrow.
Yes, mom.
But even in the winter's prime
Guess who?
You're touching a bunny, Corky.
How did you get that so fast?
I'm a bunny genius.
Mmm.
You having a good time?
It's okay.
Good, you hate it.
I have a birthday surprise for you.
My birthday was last week
and you sent me flowers.
I didn't say birthday present.
I said birthday surprise.
And traditionally the surprise
comes after the present.
Okay.
Good, you have to come with me upstairs.
Right, nice try.
No, it's nothing like that.
Just come with me.
Trust me.
Voila, right in here,
let me get the lights.
Ah.
Ooh, Hef's private stash.
Are we supposed to be in here?
Yeah, it's okay, we have permission.
Sort of.
Yeah, come right his way.
One way right there.
Don't you love that?
Now, Miss Bunny Holly,
I'd like to introduce
you to the Chicago Bears.
This is my surprise?
Yeah, I'm gonna teach
you about football.
Don't you wanna learn?
I believe I do.
Good.
My Bears are playing the Vikings.
They're from Minnesota.
You know where that is, right?
Yes I know where Minnesota is.
See, I love this.
It's gonna be very easy.
Now, the Vikings have
this new quarterback,
Fran Tarkington, who we, me and you, hate.
He made four touchdown passes
in his very first game.
But the Bears have some new guys too.
They have this tight end Mike Ditka.
He's becoming an instant star,
he's got a very good sense of strategy.
I think one day he'll coach.
Don't worry, this is
just the background info.
You ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Ditka on the cross.
He's got it!
No, Ditka's that guy.
No, he's that guy!
He's completely confusing the opposition!
HE's completely confusing me.
But whatever it is, it's working
because he's on the 10, he's on the five.
He's back on the 20, that's okay.
He's moving forward.
He's one on one, one man to beat.
10, five, touchdown Ditka!
The man cannot be stopped.
The audience is going crazy,
all 82,342 on their feet screaming!
I've always wanted to be an announcer.
You'd be great.
You should do it.
Here's the pitch.
Ball forward, Corky's gonna-
- No more football.
That was baseball.
Ruby Ruby
How I want you
This champagne is making me stupid.
Oh, don't worry, no one will notice.
Are you sure?
I'm pretty sure.
Each time I see you baby
My heart rhymes
Oh, there's Ruby
I tell you I'm gonna steal
you away from all those guys
Oh there was whoa oh
From the happy day I met you now
I made a bet that I was
going to get you now
Ruby Ruby Ruby will you be mine
Hear me talking
Big time now
Ruby will you be mine
I'm hot.
Me too.
Wanna go for a swim, cool off?
In my gown?
Oh, definitely not in your gown.
But you do like my gown, don't you?
I love the gown.
I love the bunny in it.
Do you really?
I do, really.
Then let's go for that swim.
Of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow
Miranda.
When do I get the black suit?
I'm a loved bunny, I deserve it.
Sweetheart, maybe you
should slow down a little.
It's a party, remember?
Let's take a walk, shall we?
Excuse us, please.
I thought we
were going swimming.
We are.
Do you think that's wise?
I'm not gonna drown.
Ruby, I know you can
take care of yourself
but you have to realize that these men
expect certain things.
Like a girl being on the pill?
You see?
I can take care of myself, bunny mom.
But will my heart be broken
All right, so Guido and Guidat,
they're having difficulty making love
so they go to a marriage counselor.
- Stop poking.
- You, you.
You don't even know.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I know!
Can I get you gentlemen another drink
or shall I close out your tab?
Hey, hey, kidman, look.
It's little Dorothy.
Ooh, come to lead us
down the yellow brick road?
To the land of the munchkins
and behind the secret curtain!
Shake me away, Dorothy.
My name is Holly.
Listen, okay.
No kissing the bunnies.
No, no, no.
It's no touching the bunnies.
I love you people, listen.
So I can kiss you if I
don't touch you, right?
I'm a Playboy Bunny.
I take pride in my job.
I'm not some kind of floozy.
And furthermore, gentlemen,
I believe kissing is
a very personal thing.
And I don't know you.
Bunny girls
Everything all right here?
Everything's fine.
Enjoy your evening, gentlemen.
You mess with my
bunnies, you mess with me.
All right?
Hey, Holly.
Where's Ruby?
She had a doctor's appointment.
They probably made her wait.
Hey, you're on break, take five.
Pull on at 60 or 70 dimes.
Kissing is a very
personal thing to me too.
We're gonna get caught.
So?
- So.
- So?
- So.
- So?
So I'm falling in love with you.
I have to go.
- Hey!
- Welcome back, oh!
It's good to see you.
Where's my girls?
Georgia!
Georgia!
I missed you fricking so much!
Well you know, it's
nothing like a little jaunt
in the land of inequality
to make you appreciate
what you got.
Come here, girl!
Why are you so late?
And you're a wreck.
- Georgia!
- Welcome back!
Georgia!
You're back!
Thanks, sweetie.
It's good to be back.
Look, I'm just gonna
throw on some war paint
and do up my do,
because look out, money
clips, here I come.
Woohoo!
I missed you.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobobombobobomdadangdadangdang
Adingadongdingdo
Okay, Ruby, you take table number 11.
Ruby, isn't that your friend James?
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobobombobobomdadangdadangdang
Adingadongding
Blue moon
In spite of her deeply rooted dislike,
she could not be insensible
to the complement
of such a man's affection.
It's brilliant.
Do you think I would
look good as a redhead?
Dumb redhead doesn't quite
have the same ring to it.
Has anyone seen Ruby?
Oh, yeah, I think she's in the shower.
Ruby?
Go away!
Can't you just leave me alone?
He's just a guy.
No.
He was the guy.
He just turned your head a little.
You can do way better than him.
Better?
The guy was a millionaire.
Oh, big deal!
He said he loved me.
I knew he was trouble
the minute I met him.
Well at least I'm not
stuck making goo goo eyes
at some drip who's
never gonna go anywhere.
Why are you getting mad at me?
I didn't do anything.
That's because you never do anything
unless I make you.
What is the matter with you?
Why are you acting like this?
Oh I don't have to act like this.
I can just roll over and play dead
every time I have a problem.
Oh, I see.
I doubt it.
And you face your problems dead on?
Damn right!
Like giving up your dreams
of being the next Coco Chanel
because your middle aged boss
didn't like your design?
Holly, that was survival.
And is it survival to throw
yourself at some rich guy
because you can't face the fact
that you don't make the grade?
I don't make the grade?
I am the best bunny out there!
You're sitting at 95 demerits.
So what?
I'm certainly better than you.
Oh my god.
You're jealous.
Right, that's a good one.
You can't stand the fact that you're not
in control of my life anymore, can you?
Your life is tiny and safe.
Your life is beige corduroy.
I'm going back to work.
You do that.
You know, you wouldn't even have that job
if it weren't for me.
You think whatever you need to.
Attention, attention
girlies, gather round.
The holidays are long gone.
Eggnog, stuffing, gingerbread,
these are just some of the treats
that turn cute little
bunnies into big fat hippos.
So waddle on up to the scale
and let's get this disaster over with.
Holly, take Ruby's
assignment in the showroom.
But Miranda, I'm sure she
has a really good excuse.
She probably just
missed her bus and just-
- Actually, I just saw her and...
What?
I'm sorry.
You're over 100.
So long
I don't wanna see you go
But boy you had better go now
Go now, go now
Go now
Before you see me cry
We've already said
So long
Oooh
I don't wanna see you go
But boy you had better go now
Go now, go now
Go now
Don't you even try
Go now
Hi, I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, be happy, and smile.
Think thin, be happy, smile!
I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, stand straight, be happy.
I'm your Bunny Holly.
Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, stand straight,
be happy and smile.
There you are.
Oh no, no, don't turn
it off on account of me.
It's okay.
I don't know what it does
except for move my fanny.
Mhmm, but how would you
like to move your fanny
to New York?
New York?
They're opening a new club there
and they want a few of the top bunnies
to go there and train the new ones, and,
I don't know, I think you
fall into that classification.
New York, wow.
It's a big country out there.
You might as well see it.
Is it Corky?
He'd follow you to the ends of the earth.
No, it's not Corky I'm worried about.
Ruby?
Holly.
You got your old job back.
I begged.
Ruby, please.
I have something to say to you
and I want you to listen to me.
This is the high point of my life, Ruby.
I'm a really good Playboy Bunny.
Bunny girls
And I'm proud of that.
Being a bunny was just a
stepping stone for you,
just one eye-opening stop
on the road to a future
that will ultimately be rewarding to you
and to everyone you touch.
I know that better than anyone.
Ruby, you're the most
inspired and inspiring person
I've ever known.
If you want to be a clothing designer,
you'll be the best one there is!
Better than Gucci or Pucci or Rucci!
I believe in you, Ruby.
And you have to start believing
in yourself again too.
Bunny girls
What are you looking at?
I'm moving to New York.
They're opening a new club there
and they're sending a few of us,
you know, to train the bunnies.
Well, I was thinking,
I'd like to have a couple new dresses.
You know, stylish ones.
I was hoping I could hire
you to make them for me.
Holly.
I don't even own a sewing machine anymore.
Yes you do.
Come on.
Ta-da!
This is a brand new sewing machine
with a sewing thingy
and a thread thingy.
Oh my god!
It's a Stop and Stich
Electronic 338 Zig Zag
with a fashion disc!
I can't accept this.
This is not a gift.
This is friendship.
All aboard, track 23, all aboard!
What you're doing is so great.
I mean, it sure does take a lot of guts.
I guess you're not going
to Northwestern now, huh?
Whoa girl, Columbia?
You sure are setting your sights high.
I've come this far, I might
as well shoot for the moon.
Oh, good for you!
That's terrific.
I always knew you'd
be the smart one anyway.
Train number 49 now leaving the station.
New Yorker, all aboard!
Where's Corky?
He promised he'd be here to say goodbye.
It's me!
Holly!
Sorry.
Hey.
Oh my god.
You know, I was thinking.
The best place for me to start a career
in sports broadcasting would be New York.
You're coming with me?
You may have to pay the bills
until I get my big break.
Wait!
Wait!
You can't leave without a proper goodbye.
I hope you like it.
It's the dress you want.
Oh my god, I love it!
Didn't you say it was too plain?
I was wrong.
It's classy.
Besides, I couldn't help myself.
I made a couple changes.
I lowered the neckline.
You know I can't help myself
when it comes to rhinestones, so.
Thank you so much.
All aboard!
Oh, Holly, we gotta go.
I miss you already.
- Bye.
- Bye, Holly.
Good luck!
Bye, girls!
Bye, Ruby!
Oh, Ruby, one last thing.
Will you design her wedding dress?
Corky, is that a proposal?
You're not even on your knees!
I can't believe you're proposing off hand,
What do you say, Ruby?
It would be my great honor.
Oh my god.
Ruby!
I was thinking off white, no train
with the really long veil!
I'll send sketches!
I can't wait!
I always love your sketches!
Bye, Ruby!
Bye, girls!
Lalala
Lalalalalalalala
Lalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
La la la la
Bunny
Lalalala la la la la
Bunny
Lalalala la la la la
La la la la
Bunny girls
Lalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Lalalalala
In Playboy Club history,
25,121 gorgeous women have
proudly worn the bunny tail.
This story has absolutely
nothing to do with any of them.
Lalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Lalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Chez Paree.
This is the big time.
Yeah.
Ah, look at the cars!
Wow.
How about riding in style?
That's something.
Wow.
Look at that woman's hat.
Wow.
That's not a hat.
That's a dead chicken.
I would not be caught dead in that thing.
Look at that one.
That flare thing she's wearing
makes her look like a pear.
What kind of fur is that?
Skunk?
The cute guy with her though.
Yeah, bet he's rich.
Sure got off cheap with old Pepe Le Pew.
Wow.
Look at that turquoise dress.
Jeez Louise.
This is so much better
than the crud outside the
Black Orchid last night.
It doesn't even compare.
Or two nights ago outside the Cloisters.
Ugh, please.
Oh, that black dress.
That's the one I want.
That's too plain.
I think it's classy.
Oh.
You've got a thing in your teeth.
Oh.
Right there between the
middle one and the other one.
No, hold on, let me see.
Mhmm, all right.
Let's go.
We gotta get up for work tomorrow.
Don't do it, Ruby.
You can't get ahead,
Betty, if you don't even try.
Come in.
Mr. Cage?
Sir.
Yes?
I was just thinking about our...
I mean, your dresses.
Ah, it's good to know you girls
are thinking about your job.
Sir, I was just wondering If I can-
- Can't this wait until tomorrow?
My wife has a roast on Wednesday.
And she'll kill me if I'm a second late.
This will only take a second.
I was thinking that if we were to add
a couple of darks down here
by the waist like this,
it would turn this drab
Wednesday house dress
into "Look out ladies, here I come!"
I mean do you see how
it would emphasize her,
you know?
Today's housewife is
looking for comfort.
It would still be comfortable.
But she wants to look good too.
Why?
For the plumber.
Plumber?
And for herself while she's cleaning up
around the house.
While she's vacuuming
and doing the dishes
and scrubbing the toilets?
Yes!
I mean what better time to feel attractive
than when you're doing things
that make you feel so unattractive?
Mr. Cage, if we can
make a flattering dress
with the same price as
an unflattering dress,
then we will sell more dresses-
- What is she doing?
To more women who will feel better
about wearing the dresses we make
and we will feel better about making them!
How much time did this take?
I just spent a little time today.
How many hours did you spend
on this dress this afternoon?
Not much.
You didn't do any work today, did you?
You're fired.
Clean out your locker.
Bye.
All right, Jordan
locks up the truck.
Well?
Did he like it?
Not exactly.
What does he know anyway?
Wait, Ruby, what's the big hurry?
My God, you stole those!
Shh!
They're just fabric samples.
Well what if you get caught?
I won't get caught.
Well if you do, you're gonna be fired.
I am fired.
You're fired?
Housecleaning, assembly line,
laundromat, Playboy Bunny tryouts.
Shh.
Look at that outfit!
Come way up in the leg like that?
Makes her legs like 10
feet long, it's genius.
I wouldn't wear it.
Look at the waist all
squeezed in like that.
Come on, she looks like a million.
My what a baby, ooh yeah
You would look great in it.
Who wouldn't?
Okay, listen to this.
Big bunny, oh yeah
You'll meet internationally
famous people.
Hah!
Obviously you've never
seen a Playboy Magazine.
It's not the same thing.
This is a waitressing thing.
With almost no clothes on.
So what?
Probably too flat-chested anyway.
Oh my god.
Can you believe it?
That was so bad.
If I want men to ogle me,
I can just stay at my own job, okay?
End of conversation.
Okey-dokey.
You know what I'm
thinking about right now?
Two front row center
stage seats at Chez Paree.
- Ruby!
- What?
I'm just thinking out loud.
Loud enough so I can hear you.
Fine.
It's just that if we took this little job,
I can maybe get enough money together
to start my own business.
So can you!
You're the one with the dream.
I prefer to wear clothes to work.
You are such a prude.
Why did the
chicken cross the road?
How should I know?
You know, this would
look so good on you.
I'm doing it in your favorite color.
Very chic.
Don't you belittle me, mister.
Don't you think she
kind of looks like you?
Man, you know what,
I don't even know why I bother anyway
if we can't afford to go anywhere.
Would you stop it, please?
Yeah, well it's great
doing business with you.
At Hellman's, we aim to please.
Hundred feet of piping,
you get a free hot seat.
Okay.
Thank you, bye bye.
After while, crocodile.
Come on, come on in.
The door is always open.
I was just on my way home, Mr. Hellman.
Such a polite thing.
I keep telling you, call me Norm.
Well, I was just wondering.
It's the first of the month, and-
- And?
My parents, they count on me for help.
They're having some financial-
- Oh, say no more.
I forgot a little something, didn't I?
Come on, come on in.
I don't bite.
Ah, now where did I put that checkbook?
It's here somewhere.
Be a doll, look on the
shelf over there, will you?
I know it's around here somewhere.
It's up here.
Sorry, I'm in your way.
Here it is.
Oh.
How silly is that?
Good eyes.
So,
what do you say I
take you out for a
sandwich or something, hmm?
If you don't mind, I sort
of have a bad headache.
Hey, Uncle Normie knows
how to get rid of bad headaches.
Good night, Mr. Hellman.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
And you can core an apple
with the same-
Come on, girl,
come on, come on, come on.
Keep going, keep going,
good good good!
The new 1961 Stop and Stitch
electric zigzag sewing machine
comes with a fashion disk,
rocking wheel, button,
and belt with attachments.
You can even resole your shoes.
Available now for the
low low price of 29.95.
- Rub it in, why don't you?
- The new Stop and Stitch.
Make sewing a snap.
Work, you stupid piece of crap!
Ugh!
Hey.
Hey.
Ugh, food, thank God!
My stomach has been growling for hours.
I thought you said you
were gonna clean this up?
I'm so tired.
Not too tired to sew.
Uh-oh, he did it again, didn't he?
Holly, you gotta quit that job.
Right, then we'd both be unemployed.
What are you doing?
I thought we agreed.
Hmm?
One stick per person per day.
I'm hungry.
Give it back.
So I'll skip a day.
Don't push me, Ruby.
Give it.
I'm getting licorice if I want.
Ruby!
Uh-uh.
Uh, look at that.
Give it to me!
Don't pull it.
Ah, ooh!
Oh man.
Come on!
Look at this.
You go ahead.
What are we doing?
I don't know.
We should take the job.
Come on, Holly, what do you say?
Will we have to tell our folks?
I can't believe we're doing this.
Just think about old Uncle Normie
making your headache go away.
Okay, I'm walking, I'm walking.
Me, I am thinking about a
ruby rare steak, blood running,
and a baked potato with so much
sour cream, it's like soup.
The Norm thing works better for me.
I can't do this.
Go!
Come on, let's make it happen.
Oh, I think I'm gonna upchuck.
Come on.
All right,
gentlemen, surf and turf
and a steak?
Wow, and dope, it looks great.
Yeah, thank you dear.
Are you here to audition?
You could tell?
We look that nervous?
Well, women are only allowed
as guests of keyholders.
Oh, right.
We knew that.
Across the room to the back,
down the stairs and to your right.
Relax, you're making me nervous.
Okay, Holly, shoulders back, chest up.
God wouldn't give you that body
if he wanted you to be ashamed of it.
You sound like a pimp!
Leave it to cleavage.
Ruby!
Oh.
- What happened to her?
- Loser.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobombobobom
Dadangadangdang
Blue moon
You saw me standing alone
Let's go.
I heard they take your
picture in a swimsuit.
In your swimsuit?
Holy moley.
I'm Denise, this is Nancy.
Say hello, Nancy.
Hello.
I'm Ruby, this is Holly.
Nice to meet you all.
You can all go on home now.
I'm just kidding.
When will I know?
Like I said, we'll be in touch.
Reject.
Ruby!
Okay, number 15?
Ah, that's me.
Buh-bye.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Not everybody can get the job.
Blue moon
So what is your name
and where are you from?
Well my name is Denise Smith.
I'm Nancy Miller.
I just go by Ruby.
Tennessee originally,
by way of Kentucky.
Columbus, Ohio.
I was Miss Jamboree.
I'm from Independence.
That's in Missouri.
It's the Show Me State.
Mostly ride on floats
and wave to the folks.
I won the blue ribbon
for sheep shearing.
Harry S. Truman was
born in Independence.
We're independently minded.
One time I fell on the
float and my crown fell off.
And this man Jimmy's tractor ran it over.
My parents would die if they knew
I was even considering this.
Oh.
Well, I have a lot of experience
in the design industry.
In fact, I was thinking,
I don't know, update the bunny costumes.
So many ideas.
Bold, abstract prints?
Leopard print bunnies.
Can't you just see that?
I was born for this job,
when it comes to ideas.
If maybe you ever wanted
help, you know, fashion-wise,
I could take you shopping.
I could.
I would be willing to do that
and you know, maybe take
you to get a new do.
I mean, the only reason I ask.
I like your hair, really.
It's very vibrant.
Not that I don't like it, but it looks...
Ladies about your age...
I mean you must have to have
that processed all the time.
So, where do I sign up?
Holly Tanner.
Holly.
You don't hear that name much.
I was born at Christmas.
Oh, that's sweet.
It's okay.
I won't bite.
Well, you're certainly pretty enough.
Well, thanks.
What's the matter?
People don't tell you that often?
No.
Do you always wear so little makeup?
Oh.
I'm just curious.
It's okay.
So you're new to town, huh?
Near the top of your class.
No college?
Well my folks couldn't
afford to send us both
and my sister, she's really smart
so I wanted her to go.
So why do you think
you want to be a bunny?
The truth?
Hmm.
I think genetically,
I have a really nicely
shaped head for bunny ears.
I had a bunny once
when I was a little girl.
His name was Bobo.
Jimmy's tractor ran that over too.
Oh.
For the money?
Nothing wrong with that.
It's better to be honest.
Do you have any waitress experience?
Ruby and I, she's the one you just met.
Oh yeah.
We worked at the Dairylicious.
Well, that's about it.
Well I think we should
take this to the next step.
How would you feel about our
taking some photographs of you?
Oh, I didn't bring my own suit.
Oh, that's okay.
We'd like to see you in the real thing.
Really?
Is that a problem?
Well no, it's just that,
Ruby, she really wants to work here and
if you were to say, hire me and not her?
I'm sorry, but you're the
one who's bunny material.
I can't take this job if Ruby doesn't.
She's really smart and talented, and...
Oh and she's so strong.
You should see her play softball.
Not that that's what we do here, but,
if you had things,
like those trays, they look really heavy.
Ruby, she could carry those, no problem.
Just-
Does she stick up for you
as much as you stick up for her?
Ruby would do anything for me.
For anybody.
People really like her.
Right this way.
Oh, Judy.
A little bit more.
Amanda, brighter lipstick.
Mmm, you like that bleu cheese,
don't you, Kelsey?
Come on, Michelle, you're up.
Thelma, I've got two auditions here!
Hold your horses, Seabiscuit!
Who else is gonna weigh these porkers?
It's like backstage at the Rockettes!
This is the big time.
It sure is.
All right, girls, over here.
All right.
You try this one.
And you-
- I know, black is really my color,
in bathing suits and bunny outfits.
You have to graduate to black.
Black is for top bunnies only.
All right, here.
This one'll fit you.
Hey, hey, hey.
What are you, decorating a Christmas tree?
Leave the bunny design to the expert.
I thought red for Ruby, that's her name.
Oh, red for Ruby, isn't that sweet?
Green.
Red would be a cliche.
Green's fine.
I wouldn't wanna step
on your toes, Thelma.
Watch it, bean pole.
Is pink okay?
Yeah, sure, I'm easy.
Stick with me, honey.
I'll make you look like a million bucks.
Hey.
Rabbits for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
No wonder I'm just a hop, skip and jump
away from the looney bin.
Here.
Hey, Goldilocks!
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You're a mess!
You can change over there.
Is there a curtain or something?
You better get used to it.
Natalie.
Your ears are crooked.
I can't do this.
What about me?
I stuffed my brassiere!
Girls, get a move on.
All right ladies, listen up.
Baby bunnies on the floor,
so remember, no peeking.
Now, girls, you won't have to worry
about being naked in front
of total strangers anymore,
because after today,
we won't be total strangers.
Okay.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You know, the last girl I corseted up,
two broken ribs and a punctured lung.
Oh, gosh.
I'm kidding.
Only one cracked rib.
Hairline thin, nothing to worry about.
It's a little hard to breathe at first
but you get used to it.
All right, turn around.
Let's see.
Hmm.
Oh my god, we gotta give
this girl some bazooms.
Here.
Barbie socks, they're clean, stuff.
Go on.
You ever see Jane Mansfield?
Yeah.
Well, her you're not
and you never will be.
Go on, down the sides and on the bottom.
In and up, in and up.
Come on, come on!
Just let them lay on top.
That'll do the job nicely.
Go on, stuff.
Go on, girly.
Ah, check, two torpedoes in the hole.
Who said the army cornered
the market on rockets, huh?
Doris!
What's with the droopy drawers?
Oh!
Damn, we look good.
Woo!
Go on, Holly, give it a little shake.
No.
Come on, please?
Spin around or something.
You look great, you really do.
Like a million bucks.
Now let's go have our pictures taken.
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don't get no spending cash
If you don't scrub that kitchen floor
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Just finish cleaning up your room
Let's see that dust
fly with that broom
Get all that garbage out of sight
Or you don't go out Friday night
Yakkety yak, don't go back
You just put on your coat and hat
And walk yourself to the laundromat
And when you finish doing that
Bring in the dog and put out the cat
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Woohoo!
Hello, I'm your bunny Ruby.
And I'm your bunny Holly.
Oh no.
What?
Bunny Holly, Buddy Holly?
Buddy Holly, Bunny Holly?
No one will ever think of that
in a million years but you.
Hi there.
- Mmm.
- Hah!
I cannot wait to go tell my boss
to jump in a lake.
He already fired you.
Let's not drudge up the past, okay?
Let's celebrate.
Oh my gosh, look at this!
That's me in six months.
And that, that is you.
I am gonna buy a mink stole too,
five evening gowns, a pair of shoes
for every outfit I own!
Let's eat.
You ain't got time to take a ride
Yakkety yak, don't go back
Bottom of the ninth here,
Laroux steps in, the
last chance for his club.
Two men on and two out.
There's a slight breeze
blowing on right field.
Come on.
I'm starving, hello.
If he can get a hold
of one at Mike Carey if he
can set up in the bridge.
Mhmmm, you have no idea
how much we're gonna enjoy this!
Knocks
the dirt out of his spikes.
Mmm.
Mmmm.
Oh, mm!
Oh.
Sorry.
We just got out of prison.
May I borrow your salt and pepper?
Thanks.
Let's go over it again.
Merit demerit schedule.
Horseradish.
Hello?
Right there, excuse me.
Merit demerit schedule.
A bunny who earns a hundred merits
is awarded the sum of 25 dollars.
A bunny who gets a hundred demerits
is dismissed from the Playboy Club.
Wow, that's harsh.
Ketchup.
Ketchup!
The girl needs ketchup down here?
Thank you.
Merits cancel out demerits
at the rate of one merit
for every one demerit.
Steak sauce, hi.
It is a steak, you know?
Chewing gum in front of
a customer, 10 demerits.
A bunny must present herself
in the most pleasing and
professional manner possible.
Chives, I need chives so bad.
Come on.
Thanks so much.
What-didididi, stop, stop.
Little bit here.
Okay, whoa whoa whoa, tututut!
Stop when I say stop.
That's what you get.
Calling in your drink order.
Hello?
Can we get two more of this please?
You know what?
Do you have a dessert menu?
And it's deep!
I have got to have a piece of pie
or I will die.
I am Miranda Montel
and I will be your bunny mother.
Your teacher, your boss, your friend.
In the tradition of the
famous Ziegfield Follies girl,
the bunny has become the quintessence
of the American female.
Today, bunny is the synonym
for the beautiful,
glamorous, elegant ladies
you will all become.
As a bunny, you have
joined a company of girls
who with good reason,
are both respected and admired.
As a bunny once said,
you are holding the top job in America
for a young girl today.
So, chins up.
Stand tall and let's begin!
The bunny stance.
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Angel eyes
I really love you so
Angel eyes
I'll never let you go
Because I love you
My darling angel eyes
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Write this down.
It's all about presentation.
Present the bunny image.
If you are right-handed...
Warm.
Your left leg goes forward.
Lovely.
You arch your back.
Bright.
Tuck in your hips.
And friendly.
- Friendly.
- Come on, write this down.
The bunny dip.
The Playboy Club keys.
You roll your shoulder back.
The initial key.
And lock your elbow into your hip bone.
And the very special C-1 keyholders
are friends of Mr. Hefner.
C-1 is mucho moolah.
Always point your tail
in the direction of the
person you're serving.
Wow.
That's a really good dip.
Angel eyes
I really love you so
Angel eyes
I'll never let you go
Because I love you
My darling angel eyes
Pretty pretty pretty little angel eyes
Look at her.
She's copying us.
Thank you.
Okay.
How do I look?
If we leave it there,
it'll turn into a cocoon.
Oh gosh, help.
Okay.
Thanks.
Tub of lard.
You better lay off the mashed potatoes
or they're gonna throw you overboard
and use you as an anchor.
I gained another pound.
What are those?
Diet pills.
When you eat like I
do, you need the pills.
Okay Hollywood, you're next.
I ate a big meal last night.
Oh yeah?
Let me guess.
You splurged and you had two grapes
with your soda cracker.
What do we do again
if someone gets fresh?
Gentlemen, you're not allowed
to touch the bunnies.
And that works?
What if they don't pay
attention to the rules?
Oh baby, with this ridiculous costume
comes a lot of power.
All you have to do is learn how to use it.
If that doesn't work,
well then there's always,
Ben!
Oh, Ben, I'm sorry, I thought
I had a run, but okay.
Thanks.
Okay, Evie, you're in the showroom.
And Judy, Denise and Nancy,
you're in the lounge.
Come on.
Come on, girls.
See, we'll be fine.
She seems nice.
Oh and she's real smart too.
Hey Evie, what's that word of yours
that I like so much?
Zygote.
Zygote, dammit, sounds so smart.
I wish I could figure out a way
to use them on customers, like,
that martini reminds
me so much of a zygote.
I can't believe it!
What?
What happened to her?
Too many demerits.
Honey, that's why I say
you need to stay on your toes
and save your money.
Have a good night.
All right, girls.
Time to go on.
Here we go.
Gee whiz
Look at his eyes
Gee whiz
How they hypnotize
The two of you wait for me over there.
I need to talk to Ben.
Okay.
Ben?
Two girls in four.
- This keeps running up.
- Bro, hey hey hey.
Ooh, yeah.
I'll put Holly in the Premiere Lounge
and Ruby in the Showroom?
All right, that's good.
- That's okay?
- Mhmm.
So, you ready?
Is Herb gonna be here?
Who?
Herb Hefner.
No, Herb will not be here.
Okay.
Look pretty, think happy.
Go ahead, go.
Ben, really keep an eye on them.
Who's Herb?
Oh, jeepers.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
How they hypnotize
He's got everything
I forgot, what do we do first?
Go to the bar, grab a tray.
Right, tray.
Then what?
Just follow me.
Gee whiz
He's all a joy
Gee whiz
I could fan it, boy
It's all of us, it's paradise
I hope I'm not his decoy
Heaven up above
Knows how much
I love that fella so
Angels sing of the love that rings
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
My my oh my
Come on, girls.
Over here.
Uh-oh, fresh lambs for the slaughter.
Hey, Corky, be nice.
They're smarter than you.
Yeah, but they're not as cute.
All right.
Time to make money.
Good luck.
Oh, wait.
I could find in a boy
It's so nice, it's paradise
Hello.
I'm your bunny Ruby.
May I see the member's key please?
And your name please?
- Stevenson.
- Oh, C-1.
And how may I serve you this evening?
Any way you like, honey.
God I'm lucky.
Look at me, talking to the most
beautiful bunny in the room.
Thank you, Mr. Stevenson.
James.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
It's a good night for starting out.
Bears have their first season game.
And that's good?
Yeah, it's the Bears.
Whatever you say.
It's just that those people
won't show up till later.
You want me to introduce
you to any of the players
if they come in?
You can if you want.
It doesn't matter.
You must not be from Chicago.
Oh, it's that obvious?
It's not a bad thing.
Oh, well, here goes nothin'.
Honey, I believe you're over there.
Oh, thanks.
Good luck.
Behave.
I'm working, I'm working.
I bet.
Heaven up above
Knows how much
I love that fella so
Hello.
Sorry it came up,
I had a little frog in my throat.
Let's hope it doesn't jump out.
I'm your bunny Holly.
Whoa nelly
And I'm your Chubby Checker.
I'm the Elvis Presley.
I love that guy
You okay?
Sure, right.
May I see your member's key please?
Oh, that's me.
Here you go.
And your name, sir?
Mayor Richard Daley.
Andy Peterson.
You really had me going.
Would you care for a drink, sir?
Scotch and water.
Slow Screw.
I think you're getting
a Playboy Bunny confused
with some other kind of girl.
No, no, a Slow Screw, the drink.
And would you like that in a mug
for an extra $1.50?
His decoy
Uh-oh, what happened?
A Slow Screw?
Already?
It's a sloe gin and orange juice.
And a Cutty Sark and water.
Sorry, I got the order wrong.
And I don't remember the
glasses or the garnishes.
I'm gonna stink at this.
It's okay, it happens to everybody.
Oops, no touching the bunnies.
Bad hand.
I hope our love will grow and grow
'Cause gee whiz
I love that guy
Gee whiz
How you doing?
I just accused a man of
calling me a prostitute
when he wanted a sloe
gin and orange juice.
Other than that, I'm great.
Scotch, two Bourbon, Martini
dry and a Tom Collins in mug.
You sold a mug already?
I was born for this.
Gee whiz
Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly.
If I had to say that one more time tonight
I think I would die.
Oh, we're on our way, Holly,
we are on our way.
Yeah?
Where exactly are we going?
I feel like Jesse James.
Put that away before someone sees you!
Oh, Holly Merryweather Tanner.
I met a guy tonight, a real dream.
And he's rich too.
In the club, are you nuts?
You could get fired for just
telling him your last name.
Ah, but he has a C-1 key.
Whatever you say, Ruby.
Just wake me when the bus comes.
She takes the celery,
swirls it about the glass
and dips it over the rim for two!
Bunny Holly has once again
successfully garnished
a Bloody Mary.
Stop it, Corky.
Uh-oh, I see a grin.
I think she likes me.
You two would make a cute couple.
And I'd be out of a job.
Oh, who needs money when you have me?
I'm a tripper.
No I'm not.
Hey, hey, you, bunny girl.
Excuse me sir, I'm trying to work.
Since when do they take
the play out of playmates?
I'm not a playmate, I'm a bunny.
Ooh.
It's a pleasure serving you, gentlemen.
So, can I buy you, can I buy you,
can I buy you a drink?
You and your two round friends here.
Bunnies aren't allowed to
drink with the customers.
I'm not a normal customer, and I am.
And I'm in love with your tail.
You're not allowed to touch the bunny.
Oh, it's only touching your tail.
We can save the rest for later.
Oh, ah!
Ugh!
Oh!
I'm so, sorry, sir.
What the hell?
Ben!
The room director will
be here to help you.
Room director?
Room director?
May I see your key, sir?
Your poor parents.
They must be so ashamed.
Wow, look at that girl.
Oh whoa
Whoa
He'll have his key taken away from him.
I'm from a place where
if a guy gets fresh you call his father
and he gets a whupping.
You ever hear of Rowing Fork, Kansas?
No.
It's the kind of place
where if a boy gets fresh
you call his father
and he gets a whupping.
That's where I'm from.
And if I'd had stayed,
I'd be married with six kids,
piles of dirty laundry
and a complete set of
grapefruit smoothies.
Oh yeah and if I were really lucky,
I'd be a checkout girl
at the corner market.
We're both a long way from home, Holly.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.
So blue
Holly?
I heard what happened, I'm sorry.
Ruby, don't say anything, okay?
But I'm giving my notice at the club.
What?
Just like that?
Holly, one lousy drunk comes
on to you and you crumble?
Do you have any idea how
much money we made this week?
So blue
Oh yeah
Wake up little Susie, wake up
Wake up
Good morning, sunshine.
Wake up.
Come on, you have to come with me
to look at an apartment.
We have an appointment in one hour.
I can't move.
Oh I know, those trays
are so heavy, aren't they?
Let me get you a cup of coffee.
What am I gonna tell your mama
What am I gonna tell your pop
What am I gonna tell our
friends when they say
Just because you're being nice to me
doesn't mean that I'm
gonna change my mind.
Sugar?
Two.
Well I told your mama
That you'd be in by 10
Where is it?
Close to work.
Wake up little Susie
Wow, saucer even.
We gotta go home
What am I gonna tell our
friends when they say
Tada!
The Playboy Mansion.
They took a vote, we're in.
Ruby.
Please, just take a look.
Wow.
Jeez Louise.
This is my kind of place.
All this for just one guy?
Oh, lots of people come here.
Lenny Bruce, Leroy Neiman.
- Oh.
- Liz Taylor.
Liz Taylor stays here?
Well, mostly they come to the parties.
But some stay at guests too.
Come on.
Look at the furniture,
it's fabulous expensive.
A piano!
You play?
Her mom made her take
classes with Mr. Frank.
Play something, Holly.
No.
Go on, Holly, play.
Okay.
Wow, look at all this art.
Is it real?
Yeah, originals.
It's pretty cool, huh?
Oh, look at that one.
Poor guy must have been
drunk when he painted that.
It's called "Woman
By The Straight Line".
It's intentional.
You know, abstract art.
I was just testing you.
- And.
- Food!
24 hours a day, whatever you want.
And wait till you taste it.
But just to be able to eat again.
Makes the job just a little bit sweeter?
Am I missing something?
Okay.
You got yourself two new tenants.
Bunny bowling.
Do we have to pay extra for this?
Yeah.
Wake up little Susie, wake up
The movie wasn't so hot
It didn't have much of a plot
We fell asleep
Oh, I can't do this anymore, Denise.
Just five more minutes.
Jack Lalaine says that's all it takes
to redistribute your weight.
You've been sitting in
that sauna huh, not bad.
Ruby, you're late again.
I know, but you covered
for me, didn't you?
James just wouldn't let me go.
Hey Olive Oyl, come on.
Come on.
Come on, I ain't gonna bite you.
Let's see if you can even
get the dial to move.
Another pound.
That's seven.
I'd say you're losing a pound a week.
Let me guess, you're dressing up
as a toothpick for Halloween.
I just haven't felt very well lately.
Yeah, me either.
In Alabama today,
the 21st of November,
1961, the unrest continues.
Riots broke out early this morning
in response to the latest
freedom riot into Birmingham.
Several negro residents
were severely beaten.
Attempts to force the
desegregation of a state
that is so far refusing
to grant negroes equality
has led to repeated bouts
of violence and bloodshed.
Prayers for your family, honey.
Georgia, Ruby, Holly.
Oh, hell, any of you that
don't have anywhere to go
for Thanksgiving, you're all
welcome to come to my house.
Ray and I are making a turkey.
Aw!
Except you, fella.
Well, that's okay by me
because I got a date.
Woo!
He's loaded and I ain't bringing him
around you vultures.
Oh my gosh.
So then, Holly goes up to this guy
and she says to the drunk,
"Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly."
I swear.
And he puts his hand on her thigh
and he says "Hold on out, honey,
I can only talk to one of you at a time."
You remember the guy
who always had an erection?
- Oh my god.
- No, no, no, oh.
He couldn't order a drink
without getting a total teepee.
What was his name?
Oh I don't know what his name was.
I think it was something like Weiner?
No, no, no, no, Woody!
No, darlings, it was Jonesy.
- Did you serve him, Evie?
- It was so bad.
What?
Did you serve?
Oh, Ray, don't be so serious.
No, Evie.
I wanna know.
Did you serve him?
Ray, relax, he was harmless.
Excuse me.
Ray!
Excuse me.
Ray!
Ray.
Ray.
What?
What are you doing?
What am I doing?
I can't handle this anymore.
And I can't just sit
there and listen to you
talk like that to your friends!
What are you talking about?
My god, we're just joking around?
Just joking around?
I'm tired of this whole job you've got.
Ruby, maybe you should eat something.
Oh, I'm just not very hungry tonight.
I can't make this kind of
money doing anything else,
what do you want me to do?
You might as well just be a prostitute.
I mean what am I supposed to tell people?
What am I supposed to
tell my friends at school?
My wife is working as a Playboy bunny?
Ridiculous!
Then you go put
yourself through school!
Fine, maybe I will!
Get out!
I quit college and bust
my butt to pay his tuition
and he has the nerve to be jealous?
He thinks that I go to
work to pick up men.
I mean, it's not like
there's any other job
that I could get that's
gonna pay that well.
Amen, sister.
Well thanks for dinner, Evie.
It's really lovely.
Baby
Baby
You did something to me
- Hi, I'm-
- Your Bunny Ruby.
- How may I-
- Serve you tonight?
So, what can I get you folks?
I couldn't sleep at all last night
Hi.
I'm your Bunny Georgia.
Now what can I get you all this evening?
When I was tossing and turning
Turning and tossing
Tossing and turning all night
Jumped out of bed
Turned on the light
I pulled down the sheet
Holly, Holly.
Roll up the shade
Turned off the light
I jumped back into bed
It was the middle of the night
She's amazing.
This clock now stay was striking four
- Hi.
- Congratulations,
miss Bunny of the Week.
Thank you.
I heard the milkman at the door
'Cause I was tossing and turning
Tossing and turning all night
Jumped out of bed
Turned on the lights
No earrings and no gum.
She went to the
kitchen from the height
Rolled up the shade,
turned off the light
I jumped up into bed
It was the middle of the night
Dear mom and dad,
Chicago's great.
That's a lot of money there.
Yeah, I'm sending it home.
I heard the milkman at the door
'Cause I was tossing and turning
Turning and tossing
Tossing and turning all night
Ba-baby I was tossing
Ruby has 53 demerits, hmm, hmm, hmm.
I look at the mountains
I look at the sun
I look at everything
Mother nature has done
And I wanna know why can't
I find a love of my own
The girl of my dreams.
Yeah, she's great, isn't she?
Not her, you.
Here's to Bunny of the Week
for the third week in a row.
You know, somebody's
gonna take you seriously
and we'll both get demerits.
Yeah, as long as you take me seriously.
So I sit down, sit down
Don't think the thing over
Is it something I've done
So we just call later.
I look at flowers
I gotta go.
In foolish blue
I should be happy
But I'm filled with gloom
And I wanna know why
Can't I find a love of my own
I think you better get back to work.
Why can't I find a love
I will see you later, alligator.
I hope so.
Of my own
- Good night, you guys.
- Holly,
You were so good tonight.
Good night.
Good night.
I'll see you guys, bye.
Thank you.
- Be good.
- Oh, all of a sudden.
Be good.
Good night.
Good night, Corky.
Good night.
Wait, let me walk you.
Yeah.
It's quiet out.
Kind of reminds me of home.
Do you miss home?
Sometimes.
Me too.
What?
Nothing.
Well, it's not a
Rolls Royce, but it's...
I can give you a ride home if you...
Can I give you a ride home, Holly?
Oh.
Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.
Good night, Corky.
Shh, shh!
Surprise!
Jingle bells, someone tell
Holly it's her day
And her family of bunny friends
Are here to celebrate hey
Jingle bells, someone tell
Holly it's her day
And her family of bunny friends
are here to celebrate, hey
Open mine first, open
mine first, open mine first.
Open it, open it!
The Northwestern University handbook!
I'll help you apply if you want.
Thank you, Evie.
You're welcome.
All right, open mine.
All right, all right!
I designed it myself.
You made this?
Yeah, only my sewing
machine broke at the end
so I had to stitch up the back by hand.
Oh, Ruby, it's fabulous!
Thank you.
Oh my god.
Who'd have thought old skin and bones
could have this kind of talent?
Boy, now there's a compliment.
Who said it was a compliment?
Try it on, try it on, try it on.
No, no, she has another
one to open first, from me.
First this.
25 dollars for 100 merits.
Oh, Holly!
And.
This.
Holy cow!
Oh bunny girl
The pipes, the pipes are calling
From club to club
And down to the mansion
Chicago's best
Or Hef's fine bunnies
Oh Holly Tanner
Best Bunny girl, we love you so
You're the best bunny I've ever had.
You earned it.
Oh!
Holly, try your ears on!
There was a smart mob boss
who decided to hire a deaf
mute as his accountant
'cause he couldn't talk.
One day he discovers there's
a million dollars missing
from the bank account.
So he hires an interpreter
and he wants to grill the guy.
He says "Ask him how much
money's in the bank account."
The interpreter goes "How much money
is in the bank account?"
The guy goes, "It's all there,
there's two million dollars."
And so the mob guy goes "Look, tell him
there's a million dollars missing
and I wanna know where it is."
He goes, "There's a
million dollars missing.
I wanna know where it is."
And the mute goes "I don't
know what you're talking about.
It's all there."
The mob guy takes out a
gun and says "Listen you,
I'm gonna blow your head off
if you don't tell me where the money is!"
The interpreter goes, "Listen you."
You know, he had the accent too.
He goes, "Listen you.
I'm gonna blow your head off
if you don't tell me where the money is!"
The mute guy's freaking out,
his arms are a million a mile minute.
He goes "It's under my
bed, it's under my bed,
it's under my bed!"
And the interpreter looks
at the mob guy, he says,
"He says he thinks you're bluffing."
True story, true story.
Gin and tonic.
Scotch and soda.
Oh, no, no, no.
Whiskey Sour.
Cuba Libre?
Oh, I don't remember
what order they go into.
Whiskey Sour, Scotch and
Soda, Gin and Tonic, Cuba Libre.
Just remember, Whales
Swimming Gather No Coral.
What?
The first letters.
Oh, okay.
Gee, thanks Holly, you're the best.
Hey look, I got my first $50 tip!
Ooh girl, I love those.
You know what, you have
become one good little bunny.
Thanks.
And I'm really gonna miss you.
Miss me?
Where are you going?
Back home to Alabama.
I wanna see if my family's
okay and everything.
Wow, I knew you were thinking about it
but aren't you scared?
Scared?
It's my home.
Oh, Georgia.
Hey, it's gonna be okay.
You're gonna come back though, right?
Now, Holly.
Where's a gal like me
gonna make money this good?
His wife says "Wow,
can you do that again?"
He says "I don't think so.
I don't think I can fit
another roll up my tush!"
Get some cigarettes?
Ma'am, would you like some?
Hey, how you doing, Rube?
Great.
I missed you the last
couple nights after work.
Been busy.
Well I tried on the dress.
It's incredible.
That's great.
Look, I've gotta work, so.
You know, I'm gonna wear it
to the New Year's Eve party.
Great.
It's good to see you're
doing your fashions again.
Haven't seen much of that lately.
Ruby, please.
You're my best friend.
Please don't be mad at me
because I got the black
suit and you didn't.
It's just an outfit.
Ooh bunny girl
Hey Ruby, look at the dress!
Ruby?
Ruby, wake up.
You're missing the New Years Eve Party.
Ruby, wake up.
Ruby?
Dammit, Ruby.
Ruby, wake up!
Ruby, wake up, wake up!
You've been sleeping all day.
I was having the most amazing dream.
Did it go something like this?
Dammit Ruby, you've gotta
stop taking those pills!
They're messing you all up,
I hardly recognize you!
I will be recognizable
in exactly 10 minutes.
Ugh!
Party time.
Va-va-va-voom.
Stop it, Corky.
I am looking at the most
beautiful girl in the room.
Except for Ruby, of course.
And don't you forget it.
I will see you two little
love bunnies later.
She's a big girl, Holly.
She knows what she's doing.
I don't think she does.
Happy New Years, gentlemen.
Hi, James.
My god.
Don't you look delicious.
Oh, you like it?
We should have New Years more often.
Excuse us gentlemen,
there's something I need to discuss
with this handsome man.
Hope you don't mind me dragging you away.
Mind?
I was just biding my time
waiting for you to come down.
You hungry?
There's a fabulous buffet
in the dining hall.
No, no, no, I'm not eating tonight.
I'm just drinking.
It's easier for me to watch the figure.
Well, I trust I'll get to see
a little bit more of it later.
Holly.
There's someone I'd like you to meet.
This is James, remember?
It's nice to meet you, James.
Wow.
It's nice to meet you, Holly.
That's a fabulous dress, my dear.
Ruby designed it for me.
Hidden talents.
She designed her own dress too.
My goodness.
We're in the company of an artist.
So, Bunny Holly.
You gonna sing Peggy Sue for me?
Girl needs a refill.
Here you go.
No, thank you.
Oh, wait.
You can go.
Remember we
have to work tomorrow.
Yes, mom.
But even in the winter's prime
Guess who?
You're touching a bunny, Corky.
How did you get that so fast?
I'm a bunny genius.
Mmm.
You having a good time?
It's okay.
Good, you hate it.
I have a birthday surprise for you.
My birthday was last week
and you sent me flowers.
I didn't say birthday present.
I said birthday surprise.
And traditionally the surprise
comes after the present.
Okay.
Good, you have to come with me upstairs.
Right, nice try.
No, it's nothing like that.
Just come with me.
Trust me.
Voila, right in here,
let me get the lights.
Ah.
Ooh, Hef's private stash.
Are we supposed to be in here?
Yeah, it's okay, we have permission.
Sort of.
Yeah, come right his way.
One way right there.
Don't you love that?
Now, Miss Bunny Holly,
I'd like to introduce
you to the Chicago Bears.
This is my surprise?
Yeah, I'm gonna teach
you about football.
Don't you wanna learn?
I believe I do.
Good.
My Bears are playing the Vikings.
They're from Minnesota.
You know where that is, right?
Yes I know where Minnesota is.
See, I love this.
It's gonna be very easy.
Now, the Vikings have
this new quarterback,
Fran Tarkington, who we, me and you, hate.
He made four touchdown passes
in his very first game.
But the Bears have some new guys too.
They have this tight end Mike Ditka.
He's becoming an instant star,
he's got a very good sense of strategy.
I think one day he'll coach.
Don't worry, this is
just the background info.
You ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Ditka on the cross.
He's got it!
No, Ditka's that guy.
No, he's that guy!
He's completely confusing the opposition!
HE's completely confusing me.
But whatever it is, it's working
because he's on the 10, he's on the five.
He's back on the 20, that's okay.
He's moving forward.
He's one on one, one man to beat.
10, five, touchdown Ditka!
The man cannot be stopped.
The audience is going crazy,
all 82,342 on their feet screaming!
I've always wanted to be an announcer.
You'd be great.
You should do it.
Here's the pitch.
Ball forward, Corky's gonna-
- No more football.
That was baseball.
Ruby Ruby
How I want you
This champagne is making me stupid.
Oh, don't worry, no one will notice.
Are you sure?
I'm pretty sure.
Each time I see you baby
My heart rhymes
Oh, there's Ruby
I tell you I'm gonna steal
you away from all those guys
Oh there was whoa oh
From the happy day I met you now
I made a bet that I was
going to get you now
Ruby Ruby Ruby will you be mine
Hear me talking
Big time now
Ruby will you be mine
I'm hot.
Me too.
Wanna go for a swim, cool off?
In my gown?
Oh, definitely not in your gown.
But you do like my gown, don't you?
I love the gown.
I love the bunny in it.
Do you really?
I do, really.
Then let's go for that swim.
Of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow
Miranda.
When do I get the black suit?
I'm a loved bunny, I deserve it.
Sweetheart, maybe you
should slow down a little.
It's a party, remember?
Let's take a walk, shall we?
Excuse us, please.
I thought we
were going swimming.
We are.
Do you think that's wise?
I'm not gonna drown.
Ruby, I know you can
take care of yourself
but you have to realize that these men
expect certain things.
Like a girl being on the pill?
You see?
I can take care of myself, bunny mom.
But will my heart be broken
All right, so Guido and Guidat,
they're having difficulty making love
so they go to a marriage counselor.
- Stop poking.
- You, you.
You don't even know.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I know!
Can I get you gentlemen another drink
or shall I close out your tab?
Hey, hey, kidman, look.
It's little Dorothy.
Ooh, come to lead us
down the yellow brick road?
To the land of the munchkins
and behind the secret curtain!
Shake me away, Dorothy.
My name is Holly.
Listen, okay.
No kissing the bunnies.
No, no, no.
It's no touching the bunnies.
I love you people, listen.
So I can kiss you if I
don't touch you, right?
I'm a Playboy Bunny.
I take pride in my job.
I'm not some kind of floozy.
And furthermore, gentlemen,
I believe kissing is
a very personal thing.
And I don't know you.
Bunny girls
Everything all right here?
Everything's fine.
Enjoy your evening, gentlemen.
You mess with my
bunnies, you mess with me.
All right?
Hey, Holly.
Where's Ruby?
She had a doctor's appointment.
They probably made her wait.
Hey, you're on break, take five.
Pull on at 60 or 70 dimes.
Kissing is a very
personal thing to me too.
We're gonna get caught.
So?
- So.
- So?
- So.
- So?
So I'm falling in love with you.
I have to go.
- Hey!
- Welcome back, oh!
It's good to see you.
Where's my girls?
Georgia!
Georgia!
I missed you fricking so much!
Well you know, it's
nothing like a little jaunt
in the land of inequality
to make you appreciate
what you got.
Come here, girl!
Why are you so late?
And you're a wreck.
- Georgia!
- Welcome back!
Georgia!
You're back!
Thanks, sweetie.
It's good to be back.
Look, I'm just gonna
throw on some war paint
and do up my do,
because look out, money
clips, here I come.
Woohoo!
I missed you.
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobobombobobomdadangdadangdang
Adingadongdingdo
Okay, Ruby, you take table number 11.
Ruby, isn't that your friend James?
Bombobobombobombobombom
Bobobombobobomdadangdadangdang
Adingadongding
Blue moon
In spite of her deeply rooted dislike,
she could not be insensible
to the complement
of such a man's affection.
It's brilliant.
Do you think I would
look good as a redhead?
Dumb redhead doesn't quite
have the same ring to it.
Has anyone seen Ruby?
Oh, yeah, I think she's in the shower.
Ruby?
Go away!
Can't you just leave me alone?
He's just a guy.
No.
He was the guy.
He just turned your head a little.
You can do way better than him.
Better?
The guy was a millionaire.
Oh, big deal!
He said he loved me.
I knew he was trouble
the minute I met him.
Well at least I'm not
stuck making goo goo eyes
at some drip who's
never gonna go anywhere.
Why are you getting mad at me?
I didn't do anything.
That's because you never do anything
unless I make you.
What is the matter with you?
Why are you acting like this?
Oh I don't have to act like this.
I can just roll over and play dead
every time I have a problem.
Oh, I see.
I doubt it.
And you face your problems dead on?
Damn right!
Like giving up your dreams
of being the next Coco Chanel
because your middle aged boss
didn't like your design?
Holly, that was survival.
And is it survival to throw
yourself at some rich guy
because you can't face the fact
that you don't make the grade?
I don't make the grade?
I am the best bunny out there!
You're sitting at 95 demerits.
So what?
I'm certainly better than you.
Oh my god.
You're jealous.
Right, that's a good one.
You can't stand the fact that you're not
in control of my life anymore, can you?
Your life is tiny and safe.
Your life is beige corduroy.
I'm going back to work.
You do that.
You know, you wouldn't even have that job
if it weren't for me.
You think whatever you need to.
Attention, attention
girlies, gather round.
The holidays are long gone.
Eggnog, stuffing, gingerbread,
these are just some of the treats
that turn cute little
bunnies into big fat hippos.
So waddle on up to the scale
and let's get this disaster over with.
Holly, take Ruby's
assignment in the showroom.
But Miranda, I'm sure she
has a really good excuse.
She probably just
missed her bus and just-
- Actually, I just saw her and...
What?
I'm sorry.
You're over 100.
So long
I don't wanna see you go
But boy you had better go now
Go now, go now
Go now
Before you see me cry
We've already said
So long
Oooh
I don't wanna see you go
But boy you had better go now
Go now, go now
Go now
Don't you even try
Go now
Hi, I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, be happy, and smile.
Think thin, be happy, smile!
I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, stand straight, be happy.
I'm your Bunny Holly.
Hello, I'm your Bunny Holly.
Think thin, stand straight,
be happy and smile.
There you are.
Oh no, no, don't turn
it off on account of me.
It's okay.
I don't know what it does
except for move my fanny.
Mhmm, but how would you
like to move your fanny
to New York?
New York?
They're opening a new club there
and they want a few of the top bunnies
to go there and train the new ones, and,
I don't know, I think you
fall into that classification.
New York, wow.
It's a big country out there.
You might as well see it.
Is it Corky?
He'd follow you to the ends of the earth.
No, it's not Corky I'm worried about.
Ruby?
Holly.
You got your old job back.
I begged.
Ruby, please.
I have something to say to you
and I want you to listen to me.
This is the high point of my life, Ruby.
I'm a really good Playboy Bunny.
Bunny girls
And I'm proud of that.
Being a bunny was just a
stepping stone for you,
just one eye-opening stop
on the road to a future
that will ultimately be rewarding to you
and to everyone you touch.
I know that better than anyone.
Ruby, you're the most
inspired and inspiring person
I've ever known.
If you want to be a clothing designer,
you'll be the best one there is!
Better than Gucci or Pucci or Rucci!
I believe in you, Ruby.
And you have to start believing
in yourself again too.
Bunny girls
What are you looking at?
I'm moving to New York.
They're opening a new club there
and they're sending a few of us,
you know, to train the bunnies.
Well, I was thinking,
I'd like to have a couple new dresses.
You know, stylish ones.
I was hoping I could hire
you to make them for me.
Holly.
I don't even own a sewing machine anymore.
Yes you do.
Come on.
Ta-da!
This is a brand new sewing machine
with a sewing thingy
and a thread thingy.
Oh my god!
It's a Stop and Stich
Electronic 338 Zig Zag
with a fashion disc!
I can't accept this.
This is not a gift.
This is friendship.
All aboard, track 23, all aboard!
What you're doing is so great.
I mean, it sure does take a lot of guts.
I guess you're not going
to Northwestern now, huh?
Whoa girl, Columbia?
You sure are setting your sights high.
I've come this far, I might
as well shoot for the moon.
Oh, good for you!
That's terrific.
I always knew you'd
be the smart one anyway.
Train number 49 now leaving the station.
New Yorker, all aboard!
Where's Corky?
He promised he'd be here to say goodbye.
It's me!
Holly!
Sorry.
Hey.
Oh my god.
You know, I was thinking.
The best place for me to start a career
in sports broadcasting would be New York.
You're coming with me?
You may have to pay the bills
until I get my big break.
Wait!
Wait!
You can't leave without a proper goodbye.
I hope you like it.
It's the dress you want.
Oh my god, I love it!
Didn't you say it was too plain?
I was wrong.
It's classy.
Besides, I couldn't help myself.
I made a couple changes.
I lowered the neckline.
You know I can't help myself
when it comes to rhinestones, so.
Thank you so much.
All aboard!
Oh, Holly, we gotta go.
I miss you already.
- Bye.
- Bye, Holly.
Good luck!
Bye, girls!
Bye, Ruby!
Oh, Ruby, one last thing.
Will you design her wedding dress?
Corky, is that a proposal?
You're not even on your knees!
I can't believe you're proposing off hand,
What do you say, Ruby?
It would be my great honor.
Oh my god.
Ruby!
I was thinking off white, no train
with the really long veil!
I'll send sketches!
I can't wait!
I always love your sketches!
Bye, Ruby!
Bye, girls!
Lalala
Lalalalalalalala
Lalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
La la la la
Bunny
Lalalala la la la la
Bunny
Lalalala la la la la
La la la la
Bunny girls
Lalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalala
Bunny
Lalalalalalalalalala
Lalalalala
Bunny girls
Lalalalala