Adventure (1945) Movie Script
WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME
ANT POWDER ON THAT, CAP?
THANKS, SE?OR.
IT'S CLOSED.
COME ON!
WELL, IT SAYS
"LADIES," DON'T IT?
AAH!
SE?OR PATTERSON, THE DOOR I HAVE CLOSED!
AND I HAVE OPENED.
PUT SOME HINGES ON HIM.
YOU CAN NEVER TELL
WHEN I MIGHT WAN TO BRING A LADY
IN HERE, RUDOLFO!
SI, SE?OR.
SI, SE?OR.
NICK! RUDOLFO'S LETTING
THIS PLACE RUN DOWN.
YES, SIR, A LITTLE WORSE EVERY 10 YEARS.
I'VE BEGUN TO
NOTICE IT MYSELF.
MINNIE'S CALLING
YOU, MR. PATTERSON.
WHO?
JUST A SHIP,
MISS MARIA.
OH.
DEAR OLD MINNIE TOPER. CHAMPAGNE.
CHAMPAGNE.
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY HELLO, AND
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
NOT TODAY, SE?OR.
WE DON'T SHAKE FOR THE
LAST ONE, LIKE ALWAYS?
NOT LIKE ALWAYS.
OH. WELL, MAYBE YOU GOT 'EM
LOADED UP A LITTLE, HUH, NICK?
OK, ROLL 'EM.
11. LOADED
WITH LUCK!
MM-HMM. WELL, MAYBE IF
I SPEAK REAL NICE TO 'EM,
MAYBE THEY'LL TALK
BACK TO ME, HUH?
THEY TALK TO YOU,
AND CRY FOR ME.
WELL...
SAY YOU LOVE ME. I'LL
MAKE BELIEVE I BELIEVE IT.
I LOVE YA.
AW, HARRY, TRY SAYING
"I LOVE NO GIRL MORE."
HOW MANY TIMES WE
SAID GOOD-BYE, PAL?
3. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.
3 GOOD-BYES TO ONE GAL.
I'M JUST A ONE-WOMAN
MAN, RIGHT, NICK?
YES, SE?OR.
WELL, HERE'S TO THE GIRL
I'LL NEVER LOVE MORE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW THIS GIRL
YOU NEVER LOVE MORE-
I HEAR HER
LAUGHING AT ME.
SURE. MINNIE. SHE'S ALWAYS LAUGHING.
I HOPE IT'S MINNIE.
HERE'S TO MINNIE.
MINNIE AIN'T FOOLING.
GOOD-BYE, NICK.
HASTA LA VISTA,
HARRY.
SO LONG, EVERYBODY!
ADIOS, AMIGO!
ADIOS!
ADIOS, SE?OR.
HAIL AND
FAREWELL.
I'M GOING TO
MISS YOU, HARRY.
NEVER TO SEE
YOUR FACE AGAIN.
BLACK WITH SIN AND GRINNING
LIKE THE BAD ANGEL HIMSELF.
IT BREAKS ME UP INSIDE
TO SEE YOU LEAVE, HARRY!
THAT'S FINE, MUDGE. LET'S
GET ABOARD. WE'RE SAILING.
OOH, I'M SAILING?
AYE, AYE, BOSUN!
SHIPMATES BY THE
GRACE OF HEAVEN!
YOU BOYS DID GOOD
THIS TRIP.
ABANDON! CAST OFF THE
LINES! FARE THEE WELL!
WHY DO SAILORS
DRINK SO HARD?
OH, THAT IS A
COMPLICATED MATTER.
A BOY WHO IS GOING TO
SEA FOR THE FIRST TIME
SHOULD BE THINKING
OF SIMPLE THINGS.
YES, SIR.
YOUR FAMILY, WHO
LOVE YOU ON EARTH.
YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER,
WHO LOVE YOU IN HEAVEN.
I HAVE THEM IN MY
THOUGHTS, GREAT-GRANDFATHER.
I'M RAMON ESTADO.
THIS IS MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER,
SE?OR RAMON ESTADO.
HI.
THE FIRST MATE TOLD ME I
WAS TO BE UNDER YOUR COMMAND.
OK, GET ABOARD.
THANK YOU.
ADIOS.
GO WITH GOD.
WITH GOD.
ADIOS, GRANDFATHER.
I KNOW MY GREAT-GRANDSON
WILL BE SAFE WITH YOU.
SURE, SURE.
I WAS A SAILOR
MYSELF, AT ONE TIME.
WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP
THAT KID ON THE FARM?
THE SEA IS A GOOD
SCHOOL ALSO, IS IT NOT?
OH, YES.
SWELL, GRANDPA.
WE TURN OUT SOME AWFUL
SMART SEAGULLS AND SHARKS.
OK, BABY,
I'LL HURRY BACK.
I'LL WAIT, HARRY.
I'LL BE LIKE A STATUE FACING THE SEA.
I WON'T EVEN MOVE!
HA HA! DON'T MOVE
UNTIL I'M BACK.
I WON'T.
GET RID OF
THIS GANGWAY!
AYE.
MUCHACHOS!
LET GO EVERYTHING!
STAND BY,
FORE AND AFT, ALL HANDS!
HARRY, I-I'M JUS A LITTLE BIT STUNG.
YEAH, YEAH. GET ON
THOSE HEAD LINES!
SIR, HAS THIS SHIP
BEEN PROPERLY BLESSED?
OH, SURE, SURE. I BLESS
THE OLD TUB MYSELF,
MORNING, NOON,
AND NIGHT.
AND DON'T THROW 'EM
ON THE DECKS!
STOW 'EM BELOW,
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!
AND I SAY IT'S
A PROVEN FAC THAT MORALITY
AMONG BRITISH SEAMEN
IS HIGHER THAN
AMONG YANKS.
YOU LIMEYS ARE PLAYED OUT, THAT'S WHY.
OH YES? WE STILL HOLD
DOMINION OVER PALM AND PINE.
YEAH, AND UNDER EVERY TREE
SITS A YANK WITH A DAME!
HA! GUS
WON'T FACE THE FACTS.
WHAT FACTS?
THE FACTS OF MORALITY
AMONG SEAMEN, THAT'S WHAT.
I SAY BRITISH SAILORS HAS
HIGHER MORALS THAN YANKS.
HERE. HERE'S THE
STATISTICS WHAT PROVES I IN BLACK AND WHITE.
WHERE'S THE PAGE?
OH, HARRY, THAT WAS ME
PROOF! BLACK AND WHITE!
BLACK AND GREEN,
PINK AND YELLOW,
I CAN'T RUN A DECK GANG
WITH YOU WAVING BOOKS AROUND.
YEAH!
PAY HIM, GUS.
SO WHY DO I
PAY HIM?!
I'VE SEEN YOU BOTH IN PORT. PAY HIM.
HA! THANKS,
HARRY.
YOU WASHING AGAIN?
OH, HELLO, HARRY.
IT KIND OF COMFORTS A
MAN TO SCOOP UP SEAWATER
THAT'S FULL OF THE SINS OF
THE WORLD AND PUT SOAP IN IT.
YOU'VE GOT SIN
ON THE BRAIN.
WELL, IT'D BE HARD TO
EXPLAIN TO YOU, HARRY,
BUT A MAN SURE FEELS DIRTY
AFTER HE'S BEEN IN POR AND DONE THE THINGS
I DONE.
NEVER MIND THAT.
YOU OWE ME 60 PESOS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A
CHANCE TO GET EVEN
BEFORE YOU GO
ON WATCH.
BEFORE I GO ON
WATCH, HARRY?
THANKS, HARRY.
I PUT YOU ON
THE PAINT DETAIL.
OH, I GOT TO GET THIS
CLOCK BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
YOU'VE LOS HALF THE PARTS.
COULDN'T FIX IT,
ANYWAY.
OH, HARRY! AIN'T YOU GONNA
TRUST ME TO FIX NOTHING?
SURE. FIX THIS
VENTILATOR.
BUT IT AIN'T A MACHINE! IT DON'T MOVE!
SURE IT DOES! DID YOU EVER
LOOK INSIDE A PIECE OF IRON?
YOU KIDDING ME,
HARRY?
NO, NO. THIS VENTILATOR'S A LITTLE SKY,
FULL OF SUNS AND
MOONS AND STARS!
THEY WHIZ AROUND,
IMITATING THE BIG UNIVERSE.
YEAH, HARRY?
MILLIONS OF ELECTRONS AND PROTONS
LIVE IN THIS
VENTILATOR.
AND IF YOU LISTEN
HARD ENOUGH,
YOU'LL HEAR A GUY
ELECTRON WHISTLING
AT A DAME PROTON.
LOVE BLOSSOMS
BETWEEN 'EM.
AND WHAT'S THE
RESULT OF IT ALL?
I DON'T KNOW,
HARRY.
A PIECE OF IRON.
PAINT IT.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR? A RAFT FULL OF DAMES?
NO, SIR. THE EVENING
STAR JUST CAME OUT.
MY GRANDFATHER SAYS
BEAUTY LIKE THIS
WILL STAY WITH
A MAN ALWAYS.
THAT WHY YOU'RE
ABOARD?
GRANDFATHER THINKS A MAN
SHOULD TRAVEL THE SEAS
AND TOUCH HANDS
WITH THE UNIVERSE
SO THAT HE CAN LIVE
AT PEACE ON LAND.
THE OCEAN DON'T DO NOTHING
BUT DRIVE YOU ASHORE,
AND THE LAND DRIVES
YOU BACK TO SEA.
THAT'S JUS BLACK WATER.
DON'T GET TO THINKING YOU
CAN WALK NO PLACE ON IT.
I DO NOT KNOW IF MEN
CAN WALK ON WATER,
BUT I WOULD NOT BE
AFRAID TO TRY.
LOOK, KID, I GOT A LAZY CREW THIS TRIP.
IT DON'T HELP NONE FOR YOU
TO STAND SEAGULL-WATCHER
OR ASK DUMB QUESTIONS
ABOUT NOTHING.
GET TO WORK!
SORRY, SIR.
AH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU AIN' DUE ON WATCH FOR ANOTHER HOUR.
FORGET WHAT I SAID.
HEY, HARRY, THERE'S
A JAP SUB CHASING US.
DON'T GO SPREADING
WILD RUMORS!
NO, IT SAID SUB
ON THE BOOK!
SPONCE IS RUNNING TO
THE CAPTAIN NOW!
WE'RE ON THE ALERT!
SIT DOWN AND
CUT FOR DEAL!
AW, HARRY,
THIS AIN'T SENSIBLE!
PLAYING CARDS IN A
CRISIS LIKE THIS...
NOTHING MORE
SENSIBLE.
KING'S HIGHER THAN
QUEEN, 2 AND 2 MAKE 4.
DO YOU KNOW THAT WE MAY
BE FACING OUR LAST MOMENT?
SO WHAT?
WELL, I AIN'T IN
SUCH GOOD STANDING
THAT I CAN AFFORD TO DIE
WITH CARDS IN MY HAND.
I'LL HIDE THE
EVIDENCE, MUDGE.
AND THE CARDS IS RUNNING
BAD FOR ME, TOO...
THAT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE
SINS I COMMITTED IN CHILE.
IF HE IS A JAP SUB,
AND HE DOES GET US,
AND IF YOU DO GET KILLED,
GOD'S GOING TO DROP EVERYTHING
AND JUMP ON YOU
FOR PLAYING CARDS?
YOU AIN'T THA IMPORTANT.
WELL, MAYBE NO TO YOU,
BUT EVERY MAN HAS A
TREMBLING IMMORTAL SOUL,
AND THAT'S
IMPORTANT TO GOD.
ALL RIGHT, IT IS THE JAPS! THIS IS IT!
LISTEN TO THEM MUGS.
5 MINUTES AGO, THEY WERE TOO
LAZY TO DRAW A DECENT BREATH.
HARRY, A MAN HAS AN ACTUAL
RIGHT NOT TO WANT TO BE DEAD!
AH, SOON AS
THE DANGER'S OVER,
THEY'LL BE SITTING ON THEIR
BARNACLES AND GROUSING.
HARRY, PLEASE! WE'LL BE TRAPPED IN HERE.
WE'LL DIE IN HERE!
UH-UH, NOT ME.
I'M NOT DYING YET.
YEAH, BUT HOW
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I AIN'T GONNA DIE
TILL I'M GOOD AND READY!
LOOK AT IT. MILES DEEP,
BUT NOTHING TO DRINK.
OK, GUS, OK.
WHAT GRIPES ME MOST IS I
AIN'T GETTING PAID FOR THIS.
WHO SAYS SO?
THE COMPANY.
THE MINUTE
YOU'RE TORPEDOED,
THE COMPANY
STOPS YOUR PAY.
HERE. SHUFFLE
THE CARDS.
I CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE. I'M BUSHED, HARRY.
REALLY BUSHED!
WELL, 5 DAYS IN THE
SUN'S A LITTLE RUGGED.
HOW IS IT, RAMON?
GOOD.
HARRY... HE'S GOING TO
LET ME GO.
YEAH, YOU'LL GET HOME ALL RIGHT, KID.
SURE, SURE. YOU'RE
GOING TO MAKE IT.
HERE, KID.
DRINK THIS.
GET HIS HEAD, MUDGE.
THAT'S OUR RATIONS!
YOU GOT NO RIGHT TO-
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, GUS.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.
WE AIN'T GONNA DRINK
WATER WHEN WE GET TO PORT.
WE'RE GONNA
DRINK WHISKEY.
I GUESS HE DECIDED
TO WALK HOME.
RAMON DIED FINE.
HE DIDN'T FEEL
NOTHING.
THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH
WAY TO DIE,
WITHOUT FEELING IT.
THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH
WAY TO LIVE, BROTHER.
HERE, PASS THIS
ON TO GUS.
HAND ME THAT CANVAS.
I GOTTA PRAY,
HARRY.
IT'S OUR ONLY
CHANCE!
WHO'S STOPPING YOU?
THE KID PRAYED.
YOU SEE GOD, YOU
GOT TO SAVE HARRY.
I'M NOT ASKING THIS
FOR MYSELF.
YOU ASK I FOR YOURSELF.
HARRY DON'T REALLY
MEAN THAT, GOD.
HE KNOWS YOU TOOK
THE ONLY ONE OF US
THAT WAS IN ANY
SHAPE TO DIE.
LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.
I'M ASKING FOR HARRY AND
GUS AND LIMO AND MODEL T.
I'M NOT ASKING
FOR ME!
BUT IF YOU SEND HELP,
I'LL LIVE A BETTER LIFE.
I'LL NEVER EVEN LOOK
AT BAD WOMEN NO MORE.
HUH! NOW YOU'RE GONNA
BARGAIN WITH HIM!
I'LL NEVER TOUCH
ANOTHER DROP
OF HARD LIQUOR,
SO HELP ME.
I'LL NEVER USE A KNIFE
ON ANOTHER MAN IN A FIGHT,
NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIGGER HE IS THAN ME.
YOU GOT YOURSELF OU ON A LIMB NOW, BROTHER.
I KNOW YOU HEAR
HARRY, GOD,
BUT FORGIVE HIS
SACRILEGE AND HIS MOCKING.
I'LL GIVE YOU
ALL MY MONEY,
ALL OF IT, TO YOUR
CHURCH, SO HELP ME.
OH, NOW YOU'RE GONNA CHEA HIM. YOU AIN'T GOT A DIME!
YES I HAVE, TOO. $2,500
CASH- YOU KNOW THAT, GOD-
IN A SAVINGS ACCOUN IN THE MARITIME UNION
BANK IN FRISCO.
AND I'LL GIVE EVERY PENNY
OF IT TO YOUR CHURCH,
SO HELP ME.
THAT'S A SUCKER
DEAL, MUDGE.
YOU COULDN'T KEEP ONE OF
THOSE PROMISES, LET ALONE 4.
YES I CAN, GOD. DON'T LISTEN TO HARRY.
I SWEAR ON MY
IMMORTAL SOUL.
ON MY TREMBLING IMMORTAL
SOUL, I SWEAR IT!
WE'RE SAVED!
THANK GOD!
MY PRAYER
DONE IT!
WELL, WELL!
SO WE GOT A NAVY.
COR BLIMEY, GUS, YOU
LOOK LIKE A REAL GENT.
YEAH, LIMO, I FEEL LIKE A
GENT OUTSIDE AND A WOLF INSIDE.
YOU SURE YOU CUT ALL
THE HAIRS OUT OF MY EARS?
EVERYTHING IS
SHIPSHAPE NOW, SIR.
THAT TORPEDOING MUST HAVE
BEEN A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE.
YES, SIR, YOU
MERCHANT MARINE BOYS
GOT JUST AS MUCH RIGH TO CALL YOURSELVES HEROES
AS ANYONE ON
THE FRONT LINES.
YEAH, YEAH. HEY, YOU
NICKED ME ON THE CHIN.
WHERE'S MY
CITATION?
THEY GAVE HARRY A MEDAL ONE TIME,
BUT A PELICAN
SWALLERED IT.
YEAH, WE WAS TROLLING IT FOR BAIT.
WELL, I'M ALL CLEAN
AND NEAT, AND NOW I'LL-
OK, MUDGE. AND FOR BEING
SO RUGGED ON THE RAFT,
YOU CAN HAVE SECOND
CHOICE OF THE TOMATOES.
OH NO, HARRY, I'M NO GOING WITH YOU. REMEMBER?
REMEMBER WHAT?
I GOT THE MONEY, THE
$2,500 FOR THE CHURCH.
THAT WAS A SOLEMN
OATH, HARRY,
THE KIND A MAN'S
GOT TO KEEP.
I'D BE HIGHLY HONORED
WAS YOU TO COME ALONG.
I AIN'T IN
ON THE DEAL.
OH. WELL, THEN,
I'LL HAVE TO HANDLE
THIS TRANSACTION
BY MYSELF.
WHAT'S ALL THE RUSH?
A MAN OF STRONG MORAL
CHARACTER MIGHT WAIT,
BUT I BETTER
NOT.
HOLD IT. AIN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
OH, NO, HARRY. I'VE GO EVERY PROMISE MEMORIZED.
NO WOMEN, NO LIQUOR, NO KNIFE
FIGHTS, AND THE CHURCH DONATION.
BUT WE AIN'T DRUNK
THE MINNIE TOBER DOWN.
I KNOW THAT,
HARRY, BUT-
HEY, YOU GUYS,
MUDGIN DON'T WANT TO
DRINK THE
MINNIE TOBER DOWN!
YOU'VE GOT TO
DO THAT, MUDGIN!
SHE WAS
A GOOD SHIP!
AND HER BILGE
DIDN'T STINK.
HE'S REFLECTING
ON YOU, HARRY!
OH, NO,
HARRY.
I'LL SAY SO!
A GUY THAT WON'T DRINK A LOST SHIP DOWN
REFLECTS ON
HIS BOSUN!
YEAH!
HE DON'T HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING ON MY ACCOUNT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL
DO IT ON YOUR ACCOUNT, HARRY.
BUT JUS ONE SHORT BEER.
... OF YOU, OF YOU,
I'M DREAMING
THE SEA ROLLS WIDE
'TWEEN ME AND DUBLIN TOWN
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HANDSOME TONIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE DON'T LIKE BLONDES AND
HE DON'T LIKE BRUNETTES.
WHY DON'T YOU SETTLE
FOR ME, THEN, BIG BOY?
YOU'RE A NICE REDHEAD,
BUT I'M LOOKING FOR A DAME
WITH GREEN HAIR AND PURPLE EYES.
... GREEN ON IRISH GROUND
SCAMPS AND SCALAWAGS! MAURA
O'FLAHERTY LEFT WEEPING ON THE DOCKS!
JUST KEENING LIKE A BANSHEE!
I- I'LL BEAR NO MORE OF IT!
NO MORE OF IT!
WAITER. WAITER!
IT'S GONE, HARRY.
MY MONEY'S GONE.
I WAS ROLLED. IT'S
GONE, ALL RIGHT.
IT AIN'T UP
THERE, MUDGE.
WE TURNED THE DUMP
INSIDE-OUT.
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR
BREAKING ALL THOSE PROMISES.
WELL, I DIDN' KNIFE ANYBODY.
NO, YOU AIN'T VIOLATED
THE ATLANTIC CHARTER.
POLICE!
POLICE!
LIMO AND MODEL T!
THEY'RE STILL UP
THERE. COME ON.
OWWWW!
HERE HE IS!
HEY! WHERE YOU BEEN
KEEPING YOURSELF, MUDGE?
IN AN ALLEY
SOMEPLACE.
HE'S GOT THE BLOODY
ROTTEN SHAKES, HARRY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PAL? YOU HURT?
I'M AWFUL
SCARED, HARRY.
OF WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, WE AIN' GOT ALL DAY.
LET HIM TALK. SPIT IT OUT, MUDGE.
IN THE FIGHT, I THREW MY KNIFE AWAY,
NOT WANTING TO CUT A
MAN, YOU UNDERSTAND?
AND IT STRUCK ANOTHER MAN IN THE ARM.
I SAW THE BLOOD
DRIPPING,
AND I LOOKED DOWN AT MY HANDS LIKE THIS,
AND THEN, SUDDEN-LIKE, I RAN.
THEN I HAPPENED.
WHA HAPPENED?
I LOST MY SOUL.
YOU LOST WHAT?
MY WEEPING IMMORTAL SOUL, HARRY.
LIKE A NIGHTMARE.
LIKE A HAND REACHING
INTO MY CHES AND TEARING
SOMETHING OPEN.
A SHINY LITTLE SEED NO
BIGGER THAN A PINPOIN COME OUT OF HERE, AND
I GRABBED AT IT, AND...
AND IT DRIFTED AWAY
IN THE FOG.
COR BLIMEY!
NO WIRING OR NOTHING ATTACHED, MUDGIN?
NOT A THREAD.
NOT A COBWEB, EVEN.
IT WAS LIKE
A LITTLE FIREFLY.
I'M AWFUL GLAD
YOU'RE HERE, HARRY.
THIS IS MY
FAULT, TOO.
OH, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, HARRY.
IF A MAN LOSES
HIS SOUL,
THAT'S HIS OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
HOW LONG YOU GONNA
PUT UP WITH THIS LITTLE GUY?
HE'S BUG-EYES,
HE'S CUCKOO.
THAT AIN'T SO, GUS.
I'M AS RATIONAL
AS YOU ARE.
YOU GOTTA TAKE
IT INTO ACCOUN I SAW MY SOUL DISAPPEAR
UP POWELL STREET.
MAYBE IT HAPPENED
LIKE HE SAYS.
HE SURE LOOKS LIKE
ALL OF A SUDDEN
HE LOST HIS MAGNETO.
YOU FEEL KIND OF LIKE YOU
AIN'T GETTING THE JUICE, MUDGIN?
I DON' FEEL NOTHING-
ALL NUMB-LIKE
INSIDE.
AH, BALONEY!
YOU AIN'T GO A SOUL, MUDGIN.
NOBODY'S GO A SOUL.
SO HOW CAN YOU LOSE WHAT DON'T EXIST?
I SAW IT, GUS.
WELL, GO FIND
THE THING, THEN!
YOU OUGHT TO TAKE
THIS MATTER UP
WITH A GOOD CHURCH
OF ENGLAND REVEREND.
OH, A PREACHER
WOULDN'T KNOW!
WHY WOULDN'T HE
KNOW?
IT'S HIS BLOOMIN'
BUSINESS TO KNOW, ISN'T IT?
PREACHERS ONLY
KNOW ABOUT SOULS
THAT LEAVE
A DEAD BODY
AND GO STRAIGH TO HEAVEN OR HELL.
I BET A GOOD ELECTRICIAN
COULD TELL MUDGIN MORE.
MAYBE MUDGIN'S DEAD AND DON'T KNOW IT.
LEAVE HIM
ALONE, GUS.
ARE YOU
NUTS, TOO?
DON'T TELL ME YOU
BELIEVE HIS SCREWY TALK!
I DON'T BELIEVE
IN NOTHIN'.
OH, YOU GOTTA
BELIEVE IT, HARRY.
WE'RE ALL SHIPMATES.
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU I
HAD CANCER OR SOMETHING.
YOU WOULDN'T JUST LAUGH
IT OFF AND DITCH ME.
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO!
GO ON, BEAT IT!
YOU'VE IMPOSED ON
HARRY LONG ENOUGH.
I SAID LEAVE
HIM ALONE, GUS.
OK.
OH,
LOOK OUT, HARRY!
YOU'LL NEVER LEARN.
YOU STILL TELEGRAPH
THAT RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL
RIGHT. THEY'RE CLOSE FRIENDS.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER. YOU
GUYS TAKE CARE OF MUDGE.
NOW HARRY'S
SORE AT ME.
YOU SORE AT GUS,
HARRY?
NO, I LIKE GUS FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, GUS.
WHERE YOU GOING,
HARRY?
HARRY!
DON'T LEAVE ME!
HARRY! WAIT FOR ME!
I WOULDN'T FEEL SO BAD
IF I KNEW WHAT TO DO, HMM?
HE... HE WOULDN'T JUS PUT A GUY IN THE DOGHOUSE
AND LEAVE HIM
THERE.
HARRY. HARRY!
GOD'S ASKING ME TO KEEP MY PROMISES.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL MY FAULT!
OH, NO, I-I-
YEAH, YEAH. GO GET IT OFF YOUR MIND.
BUY YOURSELF
A DRINK.
IT AIN'T SAFE FOR
ME TO BE ALONE.
A MAN RUNNING AROUND
WITHOUT A SOUL?
HOLD IT.
WHERE'S LUCILLE? DON' SHE WORK HERE ANYMORE?
NO, SHE HAD
TOUGH LUCK.
FELL DOWNSTAIRS THE OTHER
NIGHT AND BROKE HER LEG.
I GOT HER ADDRESS HERE
SOMEPLACE. YOU WANT IT?
NOT WITH A BROKEN
LEG, I DON'T!
HARRY, COME HERE!
NOW WHAT?
LOOKIT!
"THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
IS ROOTED IN THE AGES."
MAYBE THEY KNOW ABOUT A CASE LIKE MINE.
YOU COME IN WITH ME
WHILE I ASK 'EM.
ME, GO IN THAT DUMP?
OH, BUT I CAN'T TALK
TO LIBRARY PEOPLE.
YOU'RE MY BOSUN. YOU
TALK FOR ME AT MAST.
YOU AIN'T AT MAST!
I AM SO AT MAST! I'M
UP BEFORE THE CAPTAIN!
THE REAL CAPTAIN.
AND THOSE GOOKS IN
THERE ARE GONNA HELP YOU?
WELL, THEY'RE SWELL EDUCATED.
EDUCATED PEOPLE MIGHT, HARRY.
OH, EDUCATED, HUH?
LOOKIT, HARRY. "READING
MAKETH A FULL MAN," IT SAYS.
FULL OF WHAT? FULL OF SAP
FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!
WHAT GROWS ON TREES?
DRIED PRUNES.
AND WHAT DO YOU GE FROM SAP AND PRUNES?
WELL, HARRY,
I ONLY SAID-
"AS STARS TO THE SAILOR
ARE BOOKS TO THE SCHOLAR."
AIN'T THA SWEET.
THEY KNOW ABOU SAILORS.
YEAH, BUT HARRY,
I JUST THOUGHT-
EDUCATED PEOPLE... THEY
DON'T BRAG ON BILLBOARDS,
THEY CHISEL THEIR
ADS IN GRANITE!
"KNOWLEDGE IS POWER." "BOOKS
ARE THE LEGACY OF TIME."
UH-OH. THERE'S THE TOPPER-
"WISDOM IS PEACE." HUH!
SO THEY'RE WISE.
SO THEY GOT PEACE.
YEAH, BUT HARRY-
COME ON, MUDGE.
WE'LL GO IN AND GET A
GREAT BIG HUNK OF WISDOM,
AND A NICE FA BELLYFUL OF PEACE.
I'll wait here
while you ask 'em.
IF THEY HAD ICE, WOULD
BE WONDERFUL FOR STIFFS.
FOLLOW ME, PAL.
YEAH. WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR 'EM?
YES?
CAN'T FIND IT.
PARDON?
THE TREE.
HUH?
THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE. COME IN,
IT SAYS, AND GET UNDER THE TREE.
WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?
THE NEXT BAR IS ABOUT A BLOCK
AND A HALF DOWN THE STREET.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
I KNOW WHERE ALL
THE BARROOMS ARE.
I THOUGHT I'D STOP
A MOMENT IN YOURS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU
GONNA SET 'EM UP?
WE'LL HEIST ONE
UNDER THE TREE,
AND GET DRUNK WITH
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE.
LOOK, MISTER, ARE YOU
GOING TO KEEP THIS UP?
BECAUSE IF SO, I'LL
HAVE TO CALL A GUARD.
OH, NO. NO, NO, MISS.
I TAKE IT ALL BACK.
I DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
I'M NOT LOOKING FOR
TROUBLE. I'M BRINGING IT IN.
I GOT A SICK SAILOR
WITH ME.
WHAT?
YEAH. YEAH, THAT GUY
OVER THERE.
HE'S SICK, AND HE'S
LOOKING FOR HELP.
PLEASE EXCUSE
HARRY, MISS.
HE'S DOING THIS
FOR ME.
YEAH, THAT'S
RIGHT, MUDGE.
TELL THE LADY
WHAT'S EATING YOU.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF SHE COULD HELP YOU.
SHE LOOKS PRETTY
SMART TO ME.
DID HARRY TELL YOU
WHAT WE WAS LOOKING FOR?
HE SAID
YOU WERE SICK.
WELL, NOT REALLY SICK,
MISS. YOU SEE, I-I-
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I LOST MY SOUL.
POPPED OUT OF HIS CHES AND LAMMED UP POWELL
STREET IN THE FOG.
IT DID. WE WAS WONDERING
WHETHER YOU COULD REFER US
TO A BOOK DEALING WITH
A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE.
YOU'RE A SAILOR?
YES, MISS.
MERCHANT MARINE?
YES, MISS.
IS HE?
YES, HE'S THE BOSUN, AND IF
YOU WAS EVER TORPEDOED, MISS,
YOU WOULDN'T SWAP HARRY
FOR NO BOSUN GOING.
WERE YOU TORPEDOED?
THE LAST TRIP.
AND YOU SAVED HIM?
HE'S NUTS.
YOU SEE, A TREE
GREW ON THE SHIP,
AND WE ALL SA AROUND AND READ.
OH, HARRY.
DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
SUPPOSE YOU TELL ME WHA YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, PLEASE.
I'M REALLY
RATHER BUSY.
YES. IT WAS LIKE
THIS, MISS.
WE WERE OUT THERE ON A
RAFT, AND ON THE SIXTH DAY,
I MADE THE LORD 4 PROMISES,
WHAT I'D DO IF HE SAVED US.
BUT I BROKE MY PROMISES,
AND I LOST MY SOUL.
UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU
GOT A BOOK AROUND HERE
THAT A SOUL MIGH WALK BACK ON?
WE'VE GOT SOME
BOOKS FOR YOU.
YOU HEAR THAT, HARRY?
SURE. TELLS YOU ALL ABOU THAT SOUL RACKET, HUH?
RIGHT. COME
WITH ME, PLEASE.
COME ON, HARRY.
WE'LL START HERE. THERE
ARE SOME EXCELLENT STUDIES:
ONE BY A SURGEON
IN THE BRITISH NAVY,
AND THIS ONE BY
AN AMERICAN COLONEL:
FACTS ON COMBA FATIGUE.
COMBAT FATIGUE?
SOUNDS GOOD.
YES, THE STRAIN
OF WAR, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES CAUSES
PSYCHONEUROSIS.
PSYCHONEUROSIS? THA SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
YOU SEE, MR. MUDGE, YOU'VE
HAD A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE.
YOU MADE PROMISES
YOU DIDN'T KEEP,
AND THAT MADE YOU
FEEL GUILTY,
SO THAT YOU IMAGINED
YOU LOST YOUR SOUL.
OH, NO, MISS.
I DIDN'T IMAGINE THAT.
I REALLY LOST IT,
IN THE FOG.
ON POWELL
STREET.
SHHHHHH!
WE'RE DISTURBING
THE READERS.
YOU MEAN THEY'RE
DISTURBING US!
HEY, PIPE DOWN,
YOU CLUCKS!
YOU KNOW, I'M NO OUT WITH YOU.
WHEN YOU GO, I STAY.
SO WHISPER,
WILL YOU PLEASE?
Harry, this nice lady
is trying to help me.
OK, OK.
I never whispered
before in my life.
How do I sound?
LOOK, MR. MUDGE,
TAKE THIS AND READ IT.
THIS... THIS PAGE HERE.
IT MAY HELP EXPLAIN YOUR PROBLEM.
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
YOU SEE THIS
SHELF HERE?
YEAH.
THEY'RE FUNNY
PICTURES.
FUNNY GIRL.
SAY, HARRY,
I AIN'T NEVER HEARD-
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
THE SOUL- A SYMPOSIUM OF MODERN THOUGHT.
GO TO IT.
YOU READ IT TO ME,
HARRY.
I AIN'T NEVER HAD
NO KNACK AT READING.
OK.
"THE SOUL,
OR PSYCHE,
"ALSO REFERRED TO
AS THE SPIRIT,
"THE SELF-SUBSTANCE,
THE ELAN VITAL,
"THE ETERNAL AND INDESTRUCTIBLE ESSENCE.
SEE FOOTNOTE 1-A."
HERE'S 1-A, HARRY.
"IT MUST BE
REMEMBERED
"THAT A LARGE BODY OF
CONTEMPORANEOUS THOUGH "DENIES THE
EXISTENCE OF A SOUL
"AND SCOFFS A MAN'S IMPORTANCE
OR SIGNIFICANCE
AS AN INDIVIDUAL."
SHHHHH!
SHUT UP! A GUY CAN'T HEAR
HIMSELF THINK IN HERE!
SHH! DO YOU WAN TO BE THROWN OUT?
I'M SORRY, MISS, BUT THIS BOOK
SAYS A MAN AIN'T GOT NO SOUL.
WELL, ONE MAN'S
OPINION... AND MR. MUDGE,
I AM HARDLY THE LAST WORD
ON WHATEVER IS TROUBLING YOU,
BUT I DO KNOW THAT A LO OF STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN.
PHENOMENA LIKE EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTIONS,
THOUGHT TRANSFERENCE, SUCH
AS RELIGIOUS MYSTICS REPORT.
MYSTICS?
WHAT RELIGIOUS
DENOMINATION ARE YOU?
ME? NOTHING. NONE AT ALL.
I AIN'T EVEN BEEN BAPTIZED.
OH.
PERHAPS IT WOULD HELP IF I
SENT YOU TO FATHER CASSIDY
OR THE REVEREND
MR. THOMPSON
OR MAYBE
A PSYCHIATRIST.
PSYCHIATRIST!
AND WHAT'S WRONG
WITH PSYCHIATRY?
MUDGE AIN'T A
DIAGRAM OR CHART!
CUT INTO HIM,
AND HE'LL BLEED!
HOW TENDER.
HOW PROFOUND.
PLEASE, MISS, I DIDN'T COME
IN HERE TO START A FIGHT.
NOR WILL I FORGE WHAT I'M OWING YOU
FOR YOUR GOOD
INTENTIONS, MISS.
YOU DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME,
LIKE MOST WOULD'VE DONE.
MAYBE THAT'S
THE ONLY HELP
A MAN IN MY CONDITION
CAN EXPECT.
JUST NOT TO BE
LAUGHED AT.
NOW I-I'LL BE GETTING
ALONG OUT OF HERE,
AND I'M HOPING,
FOR YOUR SAKE,
THAT HARRY WILL
DO THE SAME.
THANK YOU KINDLY,
AND IF I WASN'T IN THE
DOGHOUSE WITH THE LORD ALMIGHTY,
I'D BE ASKING HIM TO
GIVE YOU HIS BLESSING.
GREAT WORK.
SO LONG.
WELL, THE FUN'S OVER
IN MY TAVERN.
I HOPE
YOU ENJOYED IT.
HAD A WONDERFUL
TIME.
SOME TREE.
DON'T RUN INTO I ON YOUR WAY OUT.
SO LONG.
YEAH, YEAH,
I'LL BE CAREFUL,
AND YOU KNOW, THE
TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
THAT'S ROOTED
IN THE AGES-
TREAT THAT CAREFUL.
THEM AGES
GET YOU SO MUCH-
PSYCHONEUROSIS,
GUILT NEUROSIS,
CIRRHOSIS
OF THE LIVER-
YOU COULDN'T LIVE
WITHOUT 'EM!
IT WOULD BE TOUGH.
I'LL BET IT WOULD...
AND DON'T WORRY,
THERE THEY ARE,
AND AS PRETTY PARROTS COME
AND GO, YOU'RE A GOOD ONE.
I KNOW WHAT THOSE GUYS WERE
AFTER BETTER THAN YOU DO, PAL.
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE,
AND THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU
AND ME IS I KNOW IT AND YOU DON'T.
YOU'RE KIDDIN' YOURSELF,
AND GETTIN' AWAY WITH IT.
AIN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
ROTTEN.
THIS IS NO FUN.
NO, IT ISN'T.
KIDDING YOU GETS ME
NOTHIN', SISTER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YEAH.
WHAT DO I WANT?
THAT'S IT.
WHAT'S IT?
JUST "IT."
CAN I GO NOW?
SURE, YOU CAN GO.
THANKS.
THE TREE
IS ALL YOURS.
LET ME KNOW WHEN
YOU RUN INTO YOURS.
RUN INTO WHAT?
YOUR TREE-
THE "IT" TREE.
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
IT'S IT, AIN'T IT?
IT'S IT, AIN'T IT?
SOME WORD, "IT."
IN THE DICTIONARY, I BREAKS ALL RECORDS FOR USAGE:
A PERSONAL PRONOUN OF THE
THIRD PERSON OR NEUTER GENDER,
USED AS A SUBSTITUTE
FOR A NOUN;
OR REPRESENTING
SOMETHING POSSESSING SEX
WHEN SEX IS NO PARTICULARIZED OR CONSIDERED;
OR TO REFER TO SOME MATTER
NOT DEFINITELY CONCEIVED;
OR AS THE GRAMMATICAL
SUBJECT OF A CLAUSE,
SUCH AS "IT IS
BELIEVED HE IS DEAD."
"HE IS DEAD," IS AS
GENERALLY BELIEVED-
YOU CAN'T SMOKE
IN HERE!
I'LL BET YOU CAN'T.
I DON'T THINK YOU
COULD DIE IN HERE!
I THINK THEY CARRY YOU
IN AFTER YOU'RE DEAD.
TAKE A LOOK
AT THESE DODO BIRDS!
WHAT ARE THEY ALL
TIPTOEING ABOUT?
THE DEAD CAN'T WAKE
THE DEAD.
WELL, SO LONG.
MUCH OBLIGED
FOR TRYIN'.
SO LONG.
HELLO.
HELLO.
I WAS, UH,
TALKING TO HER.
OH.
YOU READY?
I'LL HURRY.
HO, HO, BOY! HOW YOU DON'T FIT IN HERE!
FRIEND
OF YOURS?
NO.
WHY DON'T I
FIT IN HERE?
IN THIS GRAVEYARD?
WHY, YOU'RE A LARK!
THERE'S A SONG
IN YOUR EYES,
AND THEY'RE
LIT WITH LIVIN'.
MISTER!
EVERYBODY DIED
ON THE VINE
AND WHAMBO!
IN COMES THE GRAPES.
SHH!
- SHH, SHH!
HA HA HA!
HELEN!
Oh, sorry.
How are you,
Helen?
Who are you?
Harry.
- Hiya, Harry.
Sit down.
HEY, HEY.
What do you do?
I'm a secretary.
What do you do?
I'm a sailor.
Oh, just
off a whaler?
Merchant marine.
Glad to meet you,
Helen.
Hi.
- When do we eat?
I'm eating
with Emily.
She Emily?
Uh-huh.
Hello, Emily.
EMILY,
MERCHANT MARINE.
WELL, THAT'S FINE.
I'VE SEEN YOU MEE SOME OFFICERS IN THE NAVY,
BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN
THIS EXUBERANCE BEFORE.
YOU HAD THE
SAME CHANCE, EMILY.
THEY DON'T KNOW IT'S US. LOOK AROUND.
HERE. I'M GOING
TO GET MY HA AND GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE I'M FIRED.
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH
TO GET YOUR HAT, EMILY.
OH, BOY,
HE'S IN AGAIN.
HE'S OUT AGAIN, YOU MEAN. GOOD NIGHT.
JUST A MINUTE.
WOULD YOU DO ME
THE HONOR TO DINE WITH ME
- UH, BOTH OF YOU?
NO, THANK YOU. I WISH
YOU'D STOP PUSHING ME.
WELL,
LOOK, GIRLS, LOOK-
I- I'M A SAILOR, AND I'M MAROONED,
AND IN YOUR TOWN.
NOW, IF YOU WAS IN MY TOWN,
I WOULDN'T TURN YOU DOWN.
OH, LET HIM
EAT WITH US, EM.
HELEN, NO.
ALL RIGHT, AND I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED.
I GOT NOWHERE TO GO,
AND AFTER TALKING TO YOU TWO NICE GIRLS,
DO YOU THINK THERE ARE ANY
OTHER NICE GIRLS IN THIS TOWN?
HE'S TALKIN'
AWFUL NICE NOW.
YEAH, AIN' I TALKIN' NICE NOW?
AWFUL NICE.
SEE WHAT HELEN SAYS? I'M
TALKIN' AWFUL NICE NOW.
DO YOU WANT HIM TO GO WITH US, REALLY?
I THINK
IT'D BE FUN.
I DON' THINK SO.
WELL, IT'S
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
YOU'D BETTER NO DO ANY TALKING.
LET HELEN
DO IT FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL JUS STAND HERE AND HOPE.
NOW, SEE HOW SWEE HE CAN BE?
WELL, THIS IS GETTING DULL
ENOUGH. IF THE ONLY WAY TO END IT-
I'M JUST WHISTLING
FOR A CAB, PALS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY ACCOUNT.
I THINK I DO.
WELL, HE'LL KNOW YOU JUS CAME ALONG TO CHAPERONE US.
I THINK HE KNOWS
THAT ALREADY.
WHY'D HE INVITE YOU?
YOUR FRIEND HAS A RATHER
COMPLICATED MIND FOR A SAILOR.
HOW WE DOIN'?
EMILY, YOU KNOW WHA HE'S BEEN TELLIN' ME?
HE'S BEEN TALKIN' SCIENTIFIC.
I'LL BET.
HE SAYS IF A DRUNKEN MAN STAGGERS,
HE ALWAYS
STAGGERS-
WHERE'D YOU SAY HE STAGGLES
- ER, STAGGERS?
TRUE NORTH, EMILY.
TRUE NORTH.
TRUE NORTH! ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?
TERRIFIC.
THAT'S RIGHT,
EMILY.
ONCE UPON A TIME, SOME
GUYS GOT LOST IN THE JUNGLE,
SO THEY ALL CHIPPED IN THEIR HOOCH,
GOT ONE OF
THE GUYS DRUNK,
AND MADE A COMPASS
OUT OF HIM.
ISN'T IT CUTE?
I CAN'T STAND IT.
THAT'S ONE FACT I
DIDN'T GET OUT OF A BOOK.
OH, EMILY, WHERE'D
YOU RATHER BE THAN RIGHT HERE?
DON'T PUSH ME,
DARLING.
NOW, IT'S
BEEN VERY NICE,
BUT AS WE HAVE
TO GET UP TOMORROW,
SHALL WE, UH,
START SAILING FOR HOME?
OH, I DON'T WAN TO GO HOME.
DON'T YOU ALWAYS GET UP
IN THE MORNING, EMILY?
WE DON'T USUALLY
GET UP SUNDAYS.
TOMORROW'S SUNDAY,
YOU KNOW.
I DIDN'T KNOW.
DON'T YOU KNOW SUNDAY WHEN IT COMES?
ON LAND, EVERY DAY'S
A SUNDAY FOR A SAILOR.
OH. EMILY'S GOT A LITTLE
FARM SHE'S TRYING TO SELL.
SOME PEOPLE ARE COMING
TO SEE IT TOMORROW.
YOU GOING
TO HELP HER?
YES.
YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU,
SO YOU CAN HELP HER?
OH, DOESN'T HE PUT THINGS JUST DARLING?
EMILY, WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME?
I'M CRAZY
ABOUT THIS GUY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ME?
I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER FEL LIKE THIS BEFORE.
MEET A MAN, FALL FLAT ON MY
FACE. YOU ASHAMED OF ME, EMILY?
NO, NO.
A LITTLE ASHAMED?
A LITTLE.
SHE'S ASHAMED
OF ME, HARRY,
BUT EMILY
DON'T LIKE MEN.
DO MEN LIKE HER?
DO THEY, EMILY?
NO.
THEY'D LIKE HER
IF SHE'D LET 'EM,
WOULDN'T THEY,
HARRY?
I DON'T KNOW.
AIN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?
OH, COME ON,
HELEN-
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT'S GOT TO BE DECIDED.
YEAH, SHE'S
GOOD-LOOKING ENOUGH.
THE TROUBLE WITH EMILY
IS SHE DON'T WANT MUCH.
I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU MEAN. DO YOU?
YEAH, YOU'RE
A MILD GIRL.
OH.
GOT A FELLA?
NO.
WANT ONE?
NOT ESPECIALLY.
WELL, THAT'S GOT SOMETHING
TO DO WITH WHAT I MEAN.
ALONG WITH THAT, YOU'RE
KIND OF INDEPENDENT.
YOU BET I AM!
OH, DON'T FIGHT WITH HER. FIGHT WITH ME.
I MEAN,
LOOK AT ME.
I'M JUST CRAZY
ABOUT THIS GUY.
OH, YOU'RE LUCKY.
YOU GOT A SMART FELLA.
HE'LL TEACH YOU HOW
TO ROLL A BARREL OF OIL.
WILL YOU, HARRY?
HOW DO YOU ROLL
A BARREL OF OIL?
I'LL TELL YOU.
UH, DID YOU GIRLS
EVER TAKE A BATH?
HUH?
I MEAN, DID YOU
EVER NOTICE
HOW THE WATER
RUNS OUT OF THE BATHTUB,
HOW THE WATER
GOES DOWN THE DRAIN?
NO, I NEVER DID. I GE RIGHT OUT OF THE BATHTUB.
I DON'T LIKE
FEELING WET.
HEH HEH. I THOUGH MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE
SAT THERE
THINKING ONCE.
OH, NO, I CAN'T DRY MYSELF FAST ENOUGH,
BUT EMILY SITS THERE,
TILL THE WATER'S ALL GONE.
HMM?
IS THAT SO?
HELEN!
GREAT STUFF,
THAT BRANDY!
WHAT'D I SAY?
LET THE PROFESSOR
SAY IT.
HE WAS GOING TO TELL
US SOME... DISCOVERY.
OH, WHO CARES? HOW'S THE BRANDY WHIRL?
HEY, WAITER!
WAITER!
NOTHING DOING, HELEN.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
OH, LEAVE HER
ALONE. COME ON.
ANOTHER LITTLE DRINK
WON'T KILL YOU, EITHER.
I'M TAKING HER
HOME, SEE?
WANT TO BET ON THAT?
I'LL BET ON THAT-
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT ALL NIGHT LONG.
WHAT A PARTY!
HEY, THERE'S
HARRY NOW! HIYA, HARRY!
HEY!
HOW ARE YOU?
HEY! HIYA, GUS!
COME ON OVER, BOYS!
I WANT YOU TO MEE SOME FRIENDS OF MINE-
NICE AND MILD,
RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY.
HIYA, GUS!
HIYA, HARRY!
HIYA, BOYS!
HOW YA DOIN'?
I GOT A SPARE TOMATO FOR YOU, BOYS.
THIS IS EMILY. SHAKE HANDS WITH EMILY.
HIYA, GUS!
HELLO, HANDSOME!
HELLO!
HOW ARE YA,
GOOD-LOOKIN'?
THEY'RE
LITTLE KIDDERS.
HONEY, I'M ALL WARMED UP
AND READY TO TAKE OFF.
ANY OF YOU GUYS
WANT TO BUZZ THE FIELD?
SURE!
NOW, BIG BOYS
GO FIRST.
OPEN UP
THE THROTTLE, BIG BOY.
I FLY ON HIGH OCTANE.
ANY OF YOU WANT TO SHARE
THE RIDE, JUST CUT IN.
OH, BOY!
HEH HEH HEH...
EMILY!
I WANT A DANCE
WITH EMMY.
COME ON, GUS! LET'S HAVE A DANCE-
OH, HO HO!
HIYA, MUDGE!
HIYA, TOOTS!
YES, MA'AM!
COME ON!
HEY,
WHAT IS THIS?
LADIES FIRST!
STOP HER, HARRY,
STOP HER!
SHE'S A GONE NUT!
GENTLEMEN! GENTLEMEN!
COME ON, GUS.
I GET A DANCE.
GET HER, HARRY!
GET HER!
OH!
HEY!
EMILY! EMILY!
HAVE YOU
GOT A MATCH?
OH, A BEAUTIFUL THING
IT WAS, MISS!
WHAT?
OH, HELLO, MUDGE.
I'VE BEEN IN A FIGHT.
LIKE THE VERY BATTLE
OF THE BOIL, IT WAS.
HE CALLED ME MILD!
A MILD TOMATO!
AH! LIKE QUEEN DEIRDRE
HERSELF, YOU WERE.
WAS I, MUDGE?
AYE! QUEEN DEIRDRE FIGHTING
THE BLACK PRINCE SINGLE-HANDED.
CRACKED HIS SKULL WITH A
SPIKED SHILLELAGH, SHE DID,
AND GAVE HIM
THE HEAVE-HO,
FROM THE TOP STORY OF
DUBLIN CASTLE! HEH HEH!
WHAT HAND DONE
THE DEED, MISS EMILY?
WELL...
I- I GUESS IT WAS
MY RIGHT HAND. I...
OH.
IT'S A GREA PRIVILEGE.
EMILY!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S GO INTO YOU? COME ON!
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE IDEA,
STARTING A RIOT,
AND IN
A PUBLIC PLACE?
LOT OF WOMEN
PRESENT.
SOMEBODY
MIGHT HAVE GOT HURT.
WHAT GOT INTO YOU?
YOU'VE GONE NUTS!
IF THAT'S LIFE,
I'LL TAKE THE LIBRARY.
HERE'S THE CAB. COME ON,
EMILY. GET IN. COME ON!
GET IN THERE!
I'D LIKE TO FIND THE
GUY THAT SLUGGED ME.
I'M GOING
BACK IN THERE.
NO, HARRY!
GET IN THE CAB!
COME ON!
IT'S JUST A SMALL
LITTLE PLACE, BUT IT-
JUST BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO,
AND BOTH, WOMEN.
OH, EMILY,
I WANT HIM TO COME UP.
THANK YOU FOR A CHARMING
EVENING, MR. SAILOR.
IF WE DON'T SEE YOU
AGAIN BEFORE YOU SAIL,
FAIR WINDS AND BLUE SKIES AND ALL THAT.
OH, WHY
CAN'T HE, EMILY?
HELEN SAYS GOOD NIGHT.
GIVE UP, BUDDY.
YOU'RE BRUSHED.
YOU KNOW WHA I OUGHTA DO?
I OUGHTA GO UP THERE
AND TAKE THAT DAME APART.
SHE'S THE FRESHEST DAME
I'VE EVER MET.
AH, SHE'S THE KIND OF
DAME, YOU GO UP THERE,
SHE'LL CRACK YOU OVER
THE HEAD WITH A BOTTLE.
HMM?
I AIN'T KIDDIN'.
YOU COULDN'T GET ME UP
THERE WITH A DERRICK.
SHE WORKS IN
THE LIBRARY, TOO.
THERE YOU ARE.
YOU CAN'T TRUST NOBODY.
MMM. OH!
OH!
THAT BAD?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN' DRINK SO MUCH.
NO, ALL YOU DID
WAS FIGHT.
OH! THAT SAILOR!
HEELS HAVE A MORBID
FASCINATION FOR YOU.
MORBID FASCINATION
ARE YOUR WORDS.
I JUST THINK
THEY'RE CUTE.
MR. HARRY PATTERSON
WAS EXCESSIVELY CUTE.
IS THAT BAD?
YES.
I GUESS I'M A POOR
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
HE JUST STRUCK ME AS BEING
KIND OF A HEEL IN A CUTE WAY.
I FEEL RATHER
SORRY FOR HIM.
SORRY?
YES. JUST AS I'D FEEL SORRY
FOR ANY ANIMAL THAT'S...
BEING TORMENTED IN A-
IN A TRAP OR A MAZE,
AND IF YOU TRY TO HELP
HIM, HE'LL TURN ON YOU
AND TEAR YOUR
HEART OUT.
WHY SHOULD HE
DO THAT?
'CAUSE HE'S AFRAID
YOU'LL TEAR HIS HEART OUT.
WELL, LET'S
FORGET ABOUT IT.
OH, EMILY!
BRRR!
HA HA! WE'RE GOING
TO THE FARM, REMEMBER?
OH!
OOH...
HI, HELEN!
TELL EMILY
THE SKIES ARE BLUE
AND THE WINDS
ARE FAIR!
EMILY,
HE'S COMING RIGHT UP!
WATCH HIM
GO RIGHT DOWN.
BUT, EMILY, WE'VE GO TO ACT POLITE TO HIM.
I'LL ACT POLITE.
NOW, LOOK HERE,
MR. SAILOR-
YOU KNOW, I SAYS TO MYSELF,
I SAYS, "HARRY, OLD BOY,
"IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF MY
GIRL'S A LITTLE WEARY THIS MORNING,
"SO WHY DON'T I HIRE A BUS
TO RIDE THEM OUT TO THE FARM?
AFTER ALL, THEY'RE YOUR PALS.
THEY'D DO AS MUCH FOR YOU."
OH, LOOK AT HER
- TOUGH NIGHT, WAKES UP BEAUTIFUL.
MR. SAILOR?
MM-HMM?
LET'S GE SOMETHING STRAIGHT.
YEAH,
LET'S DO THAT.
NICE LITTLE PLACE
YOU GOT HERE.
TODAY'S SUNDAY, AND ALL
DAYS AREN'T SUNDAY TO ME.
ALSO, THAT LITTLE
EXHIBITION LAST NIGH WAS MY FIRST AND LAS PERFORMANCE. GOOD-BYE.
SHE'S ALWAYS SAYING GOOD-BYE TO ME!
NOW, LOOK HERE! IF YOU
TWO DON'T STOP FIGHTING,
I'M LEAVING...
TO GET READY!
HELEN'S A FUNNY
GIRL, AIN'T SHE?
YES, HELEN'S A VERY
FUNNY GIRL, BUT I AIN'T.
HEY, HEY, WAIT!
THAT CURL ON THE BACK OF YOUR NECK-
IT CURLS
THE WRONG WAY!
OH, IT DOES?
YEAH, HERE-
LET ME LOOK.
WELL, I'LL BE-
IT CURLS
COUNTERCLOCKWISE!
IS THAT BAD?
THAT SHOULDN'T BE.
SMOKE, VINES, AND WATER TWIST CLOCKWISE
IN THE NORTHERN
HEMISPHERE, SEE?
A WOMAN'S HAIR, TOO.
REALLY?
BUT SOUTH
OF THE EQUATOR,
A GIRL'S HAIR CURLS
COUNTERCLOCKWISE,
FROM RIGH TO LEFT, SEE?
WELL, PERHAPS I'M IN
THE WRONG HEMISPHERE.
HMM! THAT CURL
SURE CROSSES ME UP!
OH, YOUR ORIGINAL
RESEARCH WAS WRONG.
NO, NO, NO-
WHERE'S
YOUR BATHROOM?
COME IN HERE.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
IS THAT CURL NATURAL
IN YOUR HAIR?
GET OUT OF HERE,
PLEASE!
Y- YOU JUST DIDN'T TRAIN IT THA WAY TO BE CONTRARY?
OOH! WHO'S GOING
TO TAKE A BATH?
NO, NO! NO BATH,
HONEY-SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT.
COME HERE.
BEND OVER.
LET ME LOOK AT THE BACK OF YOUR NECK.
WHAT IS THIS, A BOOBY TRAP OR SOMETHING?
NO, NO, NO-
THERE, YOU SEE?
HER HAIR
CURLS CLOCKWISE.
NOW, WATCH
THE WATER WHIRL.
SEE?
LEFT TO RIGHT, SEE?
EVERYTHING NORTH
OF THE EQUATOR
IS LEFT TO RIGH BUT YOU.
I'M SO SORRY.
THAT SURE
CROSSES ME UP.
I HAD IT DOPED OUT THAT THE
GIMMICK IS LIKE TWO CLOCKS,
RUNNING OPPOSITE
TO ONE ANOTHER.
THE GIMMICK?
YEAH, YEAH. THE WORLD,
HONEY-TWO CLOCKS.
OH, THAT'S CUTE!
BUT SHE'S GOT A
SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE CURL.
YOU DEAD SURE YOU
DIDN'T TRAIN IT THAT WAY?
QUITE SURE,
MR. ARISTOTLE.
WELL, WHA DO YOU KNOW?
I'VE BEEN IN A LOT OF BATHTUBS,
BUT I NEVER WATCHED HOW THE WATER RAN.
DID YOU, EMILY?
NO.
GET IN
THE TUB, EMILY.
OH, THAT WAS A VERY SHOCKING
REMARK. I DON'T BLAME EMILY.
YOU WEREN' SHOCKED.
MMM, NOT IN HERE.
HMM?
AFTER ALL, YOU'LL GE ME IN BAD WITH EMILY.
OH.
I'M JUST CRAZY
FOR THE OCEAN.
IT'S SO
KIND OF SIMPLE.
SIMPLE AND DUMB.
BUT IN
A CUTE WAY, HARRY.
I MEAN, ONE LITTLE WAVE PILES
ON TOP OF THE OTHER LITTLE WAVE,
AND THE FISH
JUST SWIM AROUND.
WHAT MAKES I SO BLACK OUT?
TOO MANY WOMEN HAVE BEEN CRYING INTO IT.
OH...
YEAH, WOMEN CRY
IN THE DARK.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE OCEAN BLACK.
HASN'T HE GO THE WEIRDEST IDEAS?
PATTERSON
AND EINSTEIN.
I DON'T CARE FOR THE OCEAN
WHEN IT LOOKS SO BLACK.
WELL, THAT'S
EASILY FIXED.
HOW?
WELL, JUST BAIL
ALL THE TEARS
BACK INTO ALL THE WOMEN
WHO HAVE EVER CRIED.
NOW, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
A BRILLIANT THOUGHT.
THE TRUTH IS, IT'S THE
MEN WHO DO ALL THE CRYING.
MORE TRIPE
OUT OF BOOKS!
YOU TWO START FIGHTIN'
AGAIN, I'LL JUMP OUT.
SHE STARTED IT.
OH, I WON'T SAY
ANOTHER WORD.
THANKS.
CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLEY
DING DING DING
WENT THE BELL
THERE IT IS,
HARRY.
HMM.
EMILY, WAKE UP.
WE'RE HERE.
NOT BAD. HOW'D YOU
GET AHOLD OF IT, EMILY?
MY FOLKS LEFT IT TO ME-THE
OLD HOMESTEAD, YOU KNOW?
TURN HERE, HARRY,
TURN HERE.
IT'S JUS A HEADACHE, HARRY.
I'VE BEEN AFTER EM A LONG
TIME TO SELL THE THING.
WHO'S BUYING IT?
I PUT AN AD IN THE PAPER
SAYING I'D BE OUT TODAY
AND I HAD ONE TELEPHONE
CALL FROM A MR. BUCKLEY.
WELL, LOOK
- THAT MUST BE THE BUCKLEYS NOW.
READY MONEY!
A NICE, QUICK SALE!
MR. BUCKLEY?
YES. MISS SEARS?
I'M SORRY
I'M LATE.
NOT AT ALL.
WE LOOKED AROUND,
BUT IT ISN' QUITE WHAT WE WANT.
OH, THE PLACE
LOOKS SHABBY,
BUT PEOPLE WITH TASTE COULD
MAKE THINGS VERY CHARMING.
YES, YES, IT DOES
HAVE POSSIBILITIES.
MISS SEARS,
MRS. BUCKLEY.
MISS SEARS.
I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD
COME, MRS. BUCKLEY.
I WANTED YOU
TO SEE THE HOUSE.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME. WHAT PRICE YOU ASKIN', EMILY?
OH, WHY, 8,500.
IT'S 10 ACRES AND ALL
FIT FOR CULTIVATION.
WHAT? WHY, IT'S A STEAL AT THAT PRICE.
MR. AND MRS. BUCKLEY,
MISS MELOHN, MR. PATTERSON.
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU PEOPLE EVER DONE ANY DIRT FARMING?
OH, NO. WE JUST WAN A PLACE FOR THE WEEKEND.
YES. BUILD A POOL, KEEP
A FEW HORSES, AND...
WELL, THEN YOU GO NO PROBLEMS AT ALL.
SLAP ON
A LITTLE PAINT,
HIRE A COUPLE GUYS, CLEAN
OFF THE RATTLESNAKES,
FILL UP
THE GOPHER HOLES-
RATTLESNAKES!
WHY, RATTLESNAKES IN
CALIFORNIA? HOW SILLY!
HELEN, HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN A SNAKE ON THIS FARM?
WELL, MAYBE IT WAS TEXAS
I WAS THINKING OF.
YEAH, YEAH, TEXAS.
WELL, WE'LL THINK IT OVER
AND LOOK AROUND A BIT.
THANK YOU, MISS SEARS.
I'LL CALL YOU.
YES.
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW.
THANK YOU.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK?
THERE'S ONLY ONE
SNAKE ON THIS FARM.
AW, THEY WASN' GONNA BUY.
WHY, IT'D BE A CRIME TO SELL A
FARM LIKE THIS FOR A DUDE RANCH.
YES, SIR! GOOD,
RICH DIRT! SMELL IT!
WELL, YOU COULD
GROW FOOD HERE,
NOT A CROP OF FAT DAMES,
TORTURIN' HORSES,
WASTIN' WATER
IN A FANCY POOL!
YES, SIR! GOOD, RICH DIR THAT AIN'T DOIN' ITS JOB!
IF YOU'RE
SO FOND OF DIRT,
YOU CAN BUY THIS FARM
AT A BIG BARGAIN.
SAY, THAT'S
AN IDEA, HARRY.
OH, NO, NOT ME.
I'M SHIPPIN' OUT.
THIS IS A PROPOSITION FOR SOME GUY
WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED, SETTLE DOWN,
AND HAVE
A LOT OF KIDS.
WELL, THA COULDN'T BE YOU.
WHEN ARE YOU
SHIPPIN' OUT, HARRY?
I DON'T GO TO SEA
UNTIL MY MONEY'S SPENT.
PRETTY GOOD BARN.
ANY HAY IN IT?
NO.
ISN'T IT SWEET?
MMM.
HUH, HARRY?
MY GOODNESS,
EM...
STUFFY!
AFTER THAT LIBRARY,
HOW WOULD SHE KNOW?
NICE, HOMEY FOLKS.
NOT YOURS, EMILY?
YES, MINE. AUNTS,
UNCLES, AND GRANDMA.
AND IT ALL BOILED
DOWN TO YOU, HUH?
MMM MMM!
HEY, GOT A KITCHEN.
YES, SIR...
MMM!
GOT AN ICEBOX, TOO.
YEP, PLENTY
OF NOTHING IN IT.
T'AIN'T BAD, EMILY.
NOT BAD.
WHAT DO YOU GO UPSTAIRS?
THE BEDROOMS.
WELL, LET'S
TAKE A LOOK AT THEM.
HEY!
WAIT FOR ME!
HELLO!
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
MMM!
HMM HMM.
HEY, DOWNSTAIRS!
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
WHAT?
THIS BIG PILE
OF FEATHERS!
THAT'S THE BED
I WAS BORN IN.
SOME BED.
OH, I LOVE I HERE, EMILY. I LOVE IT!
DON'T YOU, HARRY?
YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S OK. IT'S SWELL.
EMILY, YOU KNOW
WHAT WE COULD DO?
YES, I KNOW...
BUT I HAVE TO WORK
IN THE MORNING.
I HAVE A JOB
IN THE LIBRARY.
WELL, I WORK, TOO,
DON'T I?
WE COULD LEAVE EARLY IN THE
MORNING AND MAKE IT EASY.
MM-HMM.
I HAVE AN IDEA I'VE
ALREADY BEEN OUTVOTED.
MOST SUSPICIOUS GIRL
I EVER RAN INTO.
IF WE'RE STAYING,
I CAN COOK.
YOU CAN COOK, YEAH,
BUT WHAT?
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL GO TO TONY'S.
HE'LL BE OPEN.
YOU GET SOME WOOD
FOR THE STOVE.
I'LL DRIVE YOU
IN MY BUS.
I'LL GE THE WOOD.
I'D RATHER WALK.
GOT ANY DOUGH?
DON'T PUT YOURSELF OUT.
DON'T WORRY.
HEY! NOW, DON'T YOU TWO
GET TO FIGHTING AGAIN!
YOU BEEN TO NAPLES?
YEAH,
I BEEN THERE, TONY.
BEAUTIFUL
- GIRLS BEAUTIFUL. EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL.
AH, BEAUTIFUL,
YES, AND NO FOG!
GOTTA THE BLUE SEAS
THERE.
A'BLUE, A'BLUE
A'BLUE BLUE!
NO MEAT?
NO MEAT.
NO MEAT. WELL,
THAT'S ALL THEN, TONY.
WELL, UH...
THAT'S A... BEAUTIFUL $1.45, MISS EMILY.
$1.45?
HOLD IT, EMILY.
HOLD IT.
UH, TONY, YOU EVER, UH, ROLL 'EM, TONY?
UH, ROLL YOU DOUBLE
OR NOTHIN', HUH?
OK, OK!
NO, NO, TONY.
MY PAL.
OH, MISS EMILY MY FRIEND, MISS EMILY.
I JUSTA SAY, "NAPLES!" NEVER LOSES.
HOW MANY ROLL?
ONE ROLL.
- OK!
OK?
OK.
HO HO! LOVELY.
NAPLES!
NO NAPLES!
NAPLES
DONE YOU WRONG, PAL.
HEH HEH.
OK, OK, MISTER.
BEAUTIFUL A'DICE!
BEAUTIFUL!
OK, EMILY.
COME ALONG.
GOOD-BYE, TONE.
GOOD-BYE,
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE, TONY.
GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE.
SEE YOU.
TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S A'BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL...
THIEVERY,
PLAIN THIEVERY.
SCIENCE.
SUCH A NICE
LITTLE MAN, TOO.
SHH!
WHAT'S WRONG?
IT'S A CHICKEN.
OH, WHAT OF IT?
GOES GREA WITH MACARONI.
YOU THINK FARMER LUDLOW'S GOING
TO ROLL DICE FOR A CHICKEN-
I'M NOT ROLLING DICE WITH
FARMER LUDLOW. DON'T WORRY.
WELL, HE'S NOT GOING
TO SELL HIS CHICKENS.
HE'S CRAZY
ABOUT HIS CHICKENS.
LET'S TAKE
A PEEK AT 'EM.
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING
TO STEAL A CHICKEN FROM HIM-
I JUST SAID
TAKE A PEEK AT 'EM.
CHICKENS ARE SURE
DOING NICE ON THAT CORN, EFFY.
WELL, YOU CAN
GIVE 'EM ALL MY SHARE.
I DON'T KNOW
WHY CORN EVER GROWS!
Mrs. Ludlow
doesn't like corn.
And I don't like
Mrs. Ludlow.
Mean?
Mean. Mmm mmm!
Mr. Ludlow?
Mmm mmm!
Mean.
Mmm.
Oh!
Can you imitate
a rooster?
Now, look here!
If you think-
Can you imitate
a rooster?
I think so.
I- I never tried,
but if
Farmer Ludlow-
Never mind
Farmer Ludlow.
Make like
a rooster.
What for?
Want to catch us
a hen.
Well, I bet
it won't work, but...
here goes.
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
I thought you said
we'd catch us a hen.
We will, but
hens are realists.
No hen would come running
for a rooster she can't see.
What'd you do
that for?
That line
hypnotizes him.
That's why some people stay in ruts.
There's a line like that
on the library floor.
Stick with
your chickens.
OK. Now, here's
a rooster in a rut.
He wanted
war and glory,
so he came out here to
fight another rooster.
A rooster's got
imagination, see?
That's why that corny
imitation of yours fooled him.
Now make
like a hen, Emily.
Oh, no, now we really
have a rooster.
I should
imitate a rooster.
Nope.
Make like a hen.
Oh, all right, Sailor.
I'll prove you wrong.
YOU SEE?
IT DOESN' MAKE SENSE.
IF SHE WAS GOING TO
CHASE AFTER THIS ROOSTER,
WHY SHOULDN'T I HAVE
MADE ROOSTER NOISES?
NO HEN WANTS A ROOSTER
UNLESS SHE'S AFRAID
SOME OTHER HEN'S
GOING TO GET HIM!
WHAT'D YOU DO
THAT FOR?
WHAT? OH, PULLETS
ARE BETTER EATIN'.
BESIDES, I COULD
NEVER KILL A ROOSTER.
LIFE MEANS
TOO MUCH TO HIM.
MAKE LIKE A HEN
SOME MORE.
OH!
AAH!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE CHICKENS?!
AIN'T NOTHIN' THE
MATTER WITH THEM CHICKENS.
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH
THOSE CHICKENS, I TELL YOU!
GET MY GUN!
THEM DOGS AGAIN!
OH!
OH!
Harry! Harry!
OK, Emily?
OK.
Shh...
If he comes closer,
I'll trip him!
No, no, no!
You take one leg, and
I'll take the other!
You're crazy.
He's gone.
Come on. Let's get
out of here.
WHAT'S ALL
THE SHOOTIN' FOR?
OH, HELEN!
WE GOT CHICKENS!
WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, LOOK AT YOU!
OLD MAN WHAT'S-HIS-NAME
TOOK A SHOT AT US!
HE DID?
WE HAD LOTS MORE,
BUT THEY GOT AWAY!
WAS IT FUN?
OH, WAS IT!
HA HA!
OF COURSE, WE'LL GO BACK AND
PAY HIM FOR THEM, WON'T WE?
HELEN,
MY OLD PAL, HELEN!
HARRY, HARRY!
OH, I MISSED YOU!
DID YOU
MISS ME, PAL?
OH, BROTHER,
I MISSED YOU!
HELEN, DO YOU KNOW WHA YOU CAN DO WITH A ROOSTER?
YOU CAN DRAW A LINE
AND HYPNOTIZE HIM!
WE GOT MACARONI!
GOES GOOD WITH CHICKEN!
YOU DID?
- MM-HMM.
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
AND ON THAT FARM-
HE SAID,
"MAKE LIKE A HEN,"
AND SO I SAID...
WITH A CHICK-CHICK HERE
AND A CHICK-CHICK THERE
HERE A CHICK,
THERE A CHICK
EVERYWHERE
A CHICK-CHICK
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
OH! AND ON THAT FARM
HE HAD SOME DUCKS
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
WITH A QUACK QUACK HERE
AND A QUACK QUACK THERE
HERE A QUACK,
THERE A QUACK
EVERYWHERE
A QUACK QUACK
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
WAS YOU EVER
MARRIED, HELEN?
ALMOST, ONCE.
WHAT BROKE IT UP?
OH, WE GOT TIRED OF
EACH OTHER. I DON'T KNOW.
SURE, LIKE
EVERYTHING ELSE.
IT ALL ENDS NOWHERE.
DON'T YOU BELIEVE
IN MARRIAGE AT ALL?
NO. DULL.
GEE, YOU SAY THA LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
I'LL SAY I MEAN IT,
AND I AIN'T JUS PICKIN' ON MARRIAGE.
I MEAN ANYTHING THA STARTS OUT EXCITING, SEE?
JUST LEAKS
ITSELF TO DEATH.
ALL THE ZIP,
ALL THE... EVERYTHING.
YOU TELL ME ONE THING
THAT STAYS EXCITING.
JUST ONE.
I HATE TO THINK.
YEAH.
WELL, LET'S DON'T.
LET'S JUST-
IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU
CAN'T THINK ON LAND, HELEN.
YOU GOT TO
BE OUT THERE.
WHAT'S OUT THERE?
THE SEA...
IT'S THE ONLY ROAD THERE
IS THAT LEADS TO IT.
WHAT'S IT?
IT?
IT'S JUST IT.
I KNOW WHAT "IT" IS.
WHAT?
THIS.
I THINK THE TIME HAS
COME FOR ME TO RETIRE.
IT'S EARLY, EMILY.
IS IT?
I WOULDN'T KNOW IT.
EVERYTHING LEAKS
TO DEATH, HE SAYS.
IT LOOKED FOR AWHILE
AS IF TODAY NEVER WOULD.
THE DULLEST DAY
I EVER SPENT IN MY LIFE.
WHY, EMILY, THAT DOESN'T SPEAK
VERY WELL FOR PRESENT COMPANY.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN I THAT WAY. IT'S JUST THAT I-
I'M SORRY FOR EMILY
- NICE GIRL, DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS.
OF COURSE, YOU DO.
THE SEA'S
THE ONLY ROAD TO IT.
MY OLD FRIEND, "IT."
I LOVE THE WAY HELEN
PUTS IT. WHAT IS "IT"?
WHY, EMILY, YOU
SOUND CROSS, DEAR.
WHAT ABOUT?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I... EVERYTHING'S BEEN SO PLEASANT.
OK, I'LL CALL IT A DAY!
I'LL GO UP AND DREAM OF
THE SEA, THE ROAD TO "IT."
OH, TO HEAR A BIG,
GROWN MAN TALK OF "IT!"
IT'S SO SILLY!
NOBODY'S ASKING YOU
ANY OPINION, YOU KNOW.
DID I SAY ANYONE
WAS ASKING FOR-
EMILY!
AND I'M NO ASKING FOR YOURS!
DON'T YOU SIT THERE AND SAY
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!
HOT AIR! YOU COULD
START A FURNACE!
YOU'RE NOTHING BU A FIRST-CLASS SOAPBOX!
EMILY! SHE NEVER
TALKED LIKE THIS!
WHAT'S THE MATTER, PAL?
I THOUGHT WE MADE UP.
I DID, TOO!
I THOUGHT TH-THAT-
IN THE FIRST PLACE, WE
HAD NOTHING TO MAKE UP.
I SEEM IRRITATED? I SUPPOSE I
THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTH TALKING TO,
AND WHAT I HEARD-
I'VE HEARD NOTHING!
LIFE IS DULL!
WHAT NEWS!
AND THE BRILLIAN SUMMARY?
THE ANSWER DWELLS
ACROSS THE SEA!
YOU'RE A DOPE!
STICK TO YOUR TOMATOES!
YOU'VE GOT YOUR ANSWER!
A GOOD CRACK ON THE
JAW WOULD DO YOU GOOD.
IF THAT WOULD DO IT,
I'D LOVE IT!
I'D LOVE TO LOOK UP
TO A MAN,
BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU HIT HARD ENOUGH!
I'D RATHER HE HIT ME
THAN LISTEN TO HIM!
WORDS COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH, YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR SOMETHING.
YOU GET HIT WITH
FEATHERS! IT, IT, IT, IT!
GET DOWN!
NOBODY TALKS TO ME
AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
"IT"? I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT "IT" IS!
"IT'S" THE EXCITEMENT, SEE?
EXCITEMENT THAT DON'T DIE!
I'VE SEEN LIFE
IMPORTANT! OH, HAVE I!
JUST LET 'EM THINK
THEY'RE GONNA LOSE IT!
I'VE SEEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN
TRAMPLED ON TO GET INTO LIFEBOATS
AND THEN THEY'RE ALL
SAFE AND ALL BORED AGAIN!
ALL BORED! FOR LIFE
TO BE EXCITING,
YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE
A SHIPWRECK EVERY DAY!
SO THAT'S WHAT I'M
LOOKING FOR, WISE GUY-
LIFE EXCITING. YOU CAN
THROW THE SHIPWRECKS AWAY!
THAT'S ALL. JUS AN EASY PICK-UP!
AND IF I SAY THE SEA IS THE
ONLY ROAD THAT LEADS TO IT,
IT'S BECAUSE THE SEA
SOUNDS LIKE IT.
SHE DOES THE TALKING,
YOU DO THE LISTENING.
SHE SINGS OUT THERE.
SHE'S FULL OF BANDS.
AND IF I PICKED
ON YOU TO TALK TO,
IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE OCEAN
IN YOUR EYES THAT DID IT.
I NEVER SAW I IN NO EYES BEFORE...
AND I'LL CALL I A DAY, TOO.
AND I'M SICK
TO DEATH OF YOU!
OH! OH!
WHY DO SAILORS
DRIVE SO FAST?
HEY, HEY, THAT'S HOW
SAILORS GET WRECKED!
I'M HIGH, AND I HAVEN'T HAD
A DROP TO DRINK. ARE YOU HIGH?
YEAH, BLOWIN' ABOU A FORCE 9 GALE!
OH, YOU'RE NOT A GALE,
YOU'RE A TORNADO.
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A
LOW-PRESSURE AREA YOURSELF.
OH, HA HA!
OH, YOU DO SAY THE
SWEETEST, MOST POETIC THINGS.
UH-OH.
THAT AIN'T POETRY.
YES, IT IS, TOO.
NO, WE'RE
RUNNING OUT OF GAS.
OH, WE'VE BEEN RUNNING
ON GAS POWER?
YEAH, AND WE'RE
SLOWED DOWN TO 60.
WELL, NOW THA WE'VE SLOWED DOWN,
COULDN'T YOU DRIVE
WITH ONE HAND?
SURE.
THANKS, SAILOR.
HEY, THAR SHE BLOWS!
GOOD OLD RENO!
BOY, THIS IS ONE TOWN I'M
REALLY GOING TO SHOW YOU!
OH, IT'S
A WASTE OF MONEY.
NOW, HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?
BECAUSE I WON'T LOOK A ANYTHING, REALLY, EXCEPT YOU.
YOU'RE
ACTING STUBBORN.
WHEN I FEEL POETIC,
I FEEL POETIC.
DO YOU EVER HEAR OF
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING?
SURE, SONNETS FROM
THE PORTUGUESE.
WHY, HARRY!
HEARD I ON A QUIZ PROGRAM.
AH, HA HA!
NO, LISTEN...
"UNLESS YOU CAN MUSE
"IN A CROWD ALL DAY
"ON THE ABSENT FACE
THAT FIXED YOU,
"UNLESS YOU CAN LOVE
AS THE ANGELS MADE
"WITH THE BREATH
OF HEAVEN BETWIXT YOU,
"UNLESS YOU CAN DREAM
THAT HIS LOVE WILL LAS "THROUGH BEHOVING
AND UNBEHOVING,
"UNLESS YOU CAN DIE
WHEN THE DREAM IS PAST,
OH, NEVER
CALL IT LOVING."
DO YOU LIKE IT?
BOY, YOU ARE HIGH!
MM-HMM!
THAT'S JUS HOW I FEEL.
YOU TAKE CHARGE OF THE POETRY,
EM. I'LL TAKE CHARGE OF RENO.
AH...
OH, HARRY, LOOK!
OH, WHAT LUCK!
YEAH, ONLY 3 MILES.
OH, NO! I MEAN
THE OTHER SIGN-THAT!
OH... HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, EMILY.
OH!
ONLY THAT?
JUST "ALL RIGHT"?
NO, BUT LET'S SEE
IF WE CAN MAKE RENO.
OH, HA HA!
I'M FREE AGAIN
I'M FREE AGAIN
OH, ME, OH, MY
OH,
I'M FREE AGAIN
HA HA HA!
HEY!
NO, YOU!
ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR A NEW GIRL?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
UH, GRACE.
WELL, HERE SHE IS-
THIS IS GRACE.
OK, GRACIE,
SHOW HIM NO MERCY.
REMEMBER, GEORGE, EVERYTHING
THAT YOU DID BEFORE,
AND DON' DO IT AGAIN!
OH, YES!
HA HA HA!
MM-HMM!
HA HA!
YOUR CHUCKLE, MY LOVE,
IS A DEEP LAUGH.
I'M CHUCKLIN', ALL RIGHT.
FIRST TIME WE'VE BEEN IN A ROOM.
THAT'S RIGHT...
OUT THERE-THERE WERE WALLS
OUT THERE, HIGH AS HEAVEN.
WONDER WHERE
THEY STUCK MY BAG?
OH.
WHERE DID WE
BUY THE BAG?
MUST HAVE BEEN
IN A STORE.
OH, I GO A NEW HAT OUT OF IT.
ICE WATER, SIR?
YEAH, COME IN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, SIR!
I'LL BUY MY GIRL
A PRESENT!
OH, UH, YOU AND THE MISSUS
LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?
WHO?
MRS.
PATTERSON.
OH!
WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING
ELSE, UH, MRS. PATTERSON?
UH, NO, THANK YOU,
MR. PATTERSON.
NO, THANK YOU.
WELL, WELL,
MRS. PATTERSON.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DARLING...
YES, DARLING?
WAS THAT MY
WEDDING PRESENT-
MARRYING ME?
I DON'T GET YOU.
WHY DID
YOU MARRY ME?
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT AWAY?
WHY, YES, BUT I WASN'T A COMMAND,
NOR WAS IT A FAVOR TO
ME, ANYMORE THAN TO YOU.
OK, BUT-
HEY, LOOK,
IS THAT RIGHT?
ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GIVE
WOMEN PRESENTS THAT MARRY YOU?
OH, HO HO, DEAR!
OH... ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S
THE MATTER, BABY?
OH, LOOK
AT THIS SAILOR.
WHEW!
AND AM I SAILING!
WHA-
WHAT IN THE WORLD-
OH, WHAT IS THIS,
DARLING?
OH, JUST A GIRL.
OH,
JUST A GIRL, EH?
THAT'S ALL.
HER NAME'S JEANNE,
IS THAT RIGHT?
PRONOUNCED "JOHN."
FRENCH.
OH, "JOHN."
MM-HMM.
GOT ANY OTHERS
AROUND YOU ANYWHERE?
NO, NO.
SHE WAS
THE ONE AND ONLY, EH?
NO. I DIDN' MARRY HER, DID I?
PERHAPS
SHE DIDN'T ASK YOU.
HEY, HEY...
WHAT IS
ALL THIS, HUH?
JUST A MINUTE,
DARLING, JUST A MINUTE.
THERE.
HARRY,
WHAT'S MY NAME?
EMILY.
DON'T SOUND
MUCH ALIKE, DO THEY?
NOPE.
DON'T FORGET IT.
OH, GEORGE!
MMM...
HMM?
OH, I'M SORRY,
DEAR, SORRY.
WHY, YOU-
HA HA HA HA!
THAT'S NOT A SQUARE DEAL! I GOT 2 BAGS!
BUT I HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR WITH MY KEY!
EM, IT'S YOUR DOOR. YOU
OPENED IT A MILLION TIMES!
OH, BUT 8 SECONDS.
MAKE IT 10!
OK, GO AHEAD.
YOU UNDERSTAND, NOW,
IF I GET INTO THE APARTMEN BEFORE YOU CATCH ME, YOU
HAVE TO STAND OUTSIDE FOREVER.
YEAH, RIGH IN THE HALL.
READY?
1... 2...
3, 4, 5, 6...
OH!
HA HA HA! OH!
OH!
HA HA HA HA!
HARRY?
YEAH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THE LAST TIME GOING DOWN
THE STAIRS WAS SUNDAY,
ON THE WAY
TO THE FARM.
YEAH. WELL?
WELL, YOU WERE JUS ABOUT THE LAST GENTLEMAN
I WANTED TO SEE
THAT MORNING.
YEAH, I RECALL
YOUR GREETING.
AND THE NEXT TIME COMING
UP THESE SAME STAIRS,
I'M YOUR WIFE.
YOU'D HAVE BET A LOT OF DOUGH
AGAINST THAT, WOULDN'T YOU HAVE?
I'D HAVE
BET MY LIFE.
I'D HAVE BET THE END
OF THE WORLD FIRST.
HARRY...
YEAH?
I WISH
WE WERE IN RENO.
WANT TO GO BACK?
OH, NO.
HA HA HA!
ARE YOU COMING IN HERE
WITH ME LIKE A HUSBAND?
WELL, I WASN'T DOING
THIS SUNDAY, NEITHER.
HEY, AM I MARRIED, TOO?
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS SO. HA HA-
EMILY!
OH, EMILY!
YOU OUGHT TO BE SHOT!
YOU HEEL, YOU!
HELEN!
YOU OUGHT TO BE
STRUNG UP-
HELEN!
WE'RE MARRIED!
HUH?
WELL,
WE THINK WE ARE.
OH, DON'T BE DUMB, EMMY!
YOU THINK YOU ARE?
HIM, MARRIED? HE WOULDN' MARRY HIS OWN MOTHER!
WELL, YOU GIRLS
FIGURE IT OUT.
I'M BUYING
A LITTLE DRINK.
LET ME KNOW HOW
YOU COME OUT.
LOOK, LOOK.
YOU MEAN LEGAL?
YES!
IT ISN'T FORGED?
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
OH, DARLING!
OH, HELEN!
DO YOU STILL LIKE ME?
EMILY!
MARRIED!
EMILY'S MARRIED!
HEY! LIKE ME, TOO, WILL YA?
OH, HARRY, I THOUGH SHE NEVER WOULD!
SHE'S SUCH A LONESOME GIRL, REALLY.
SHE'D GO OUT WITH ME JUST TO
BE NICE, BUT SHE'D HATE IT.
SHE COULD HAVE EVERY MAN
IN FRISCO IF SHE WANTED,
AND I KNOW SHE COULD. YOU DON'T KNOW!
OH, HELEN, PLEASE!
SHE'S THE
BEST GIRL GOIN'!
WELL, SAY SOMETHIN',
HARRY! SAY SOMETHIN'-
OK, OK, I AGREE
WITH YOU, PAL.
OH, HARRY!
OH!
I LOVE YOU
FOR HER LOVIN' YOU!
I'M IN LOVE
WITH BOTH OF YOU!
I'M IN-I'M IN LOVE
WITH BOTH OF YOU!
I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE
EVER LOVED ANYBODY
AS MUCH AS I LOVE
THE TWO OF YOU!
OH, HARRY, LOOK! YOU GO LIPSTICK ALL OVER YOU!
I'M SORRY!
HEY, EMILY,
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
THE LAST TIME
I KISSED HARRY
WAS ON THAT SOFA
AT THE FARM.
DO YOU REALIZE I HAVEN' SEEN EITHER ONE OF YOU SINCE?
I MEAN, I KISS HARRY
ON THE SOFA,
NEXT TIME I SEE HIM
AND KISS HIM AGAIN,
A LITTLE ITEM, DEAR! HE'S
MARRIED BETWEEN KISSES!
OK, GIRLS, OK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THIS IS FINE,
BUT IT'S A LITTLE DRY.
I'LL GET CLEANED UP AND GO
OUT AND GET A BUCKET OF WINE.
THIS CALLS
FOR A CELEBRATION.
THIS CALLS FOR ME TO
GET OUT. I GET IT.
I'M LATE
FOR THE OFFICE.
NO, NO. YOU'RE CRAZY.
NO OFFICE TODAY.
WE'LL CELEBRATE,
THE 3 OF US!
REALLY?
YES, YES!
GOOD OLD RENO!
WE BROUGHT IT BACK WITH
US, DARLING, DIDN'T WE?
YOU KNOW IT!
HOOK HER, EMILY, HOOK HER!
HA HA!
YOU CRAZY ABOUT HIM?
JUST CRAZY.
HE CRAZY ABOUT YOU?
JUST CRAZY.
OH...
OH, EMILY!
NOW, TELL ME
ALL ABOUT IT.
YOU ARRIVE AT RENO, "LET NO
MAN PUT ASUNDER," AND THEN-
THEN WHAT'D YOU DO?
WE PLAYED ROULETTE.
YOU DID?
AND THEN
HE BOUGHT ME A HAT.
THAT'S BETTER.
ISN'T IT SILLY?
I LOVE IT.
AND THEN
WE HAD A STEAK.
STEAK'S A STEAK
ANYTIME, ISN'T IT?
HEY, WHERE'S
THE TOWELS?
BEHIND THE DOOR.
BEHIND THE WHAT?
BEHIND THE DOOR.
HUH! FUNNY PLACE
TO KEEP 'EM!
SQUAWKING ALREADY!
HEY, I GOT TO GET MYSELF UNDER A ROOF!
I'LL GET A ROOM AS CLOSE BY AS I CAN.
WELL, WAI A MINUTE, HELEN!
I MEAN,
LET ME SEE, I...
WHOA, WHOA!
FUNNY, I NEVER
GAVE IT A THOUGHT,
I MEAN,
ABOUT LIVING.
WE HADN' EVEN MENTIONED IT.
LET'S TAKE A SHORT PAUSE BEFORE
THE PARTY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THINK YOU'LL LIVE HERE, OR
GET A LITTLE HOUSE SOMEPLACE?
I DON'T KNOW. WHERE ARE
WE GOING TO LIVE, HARRY?
NEVER GAVE I A THOUGHT.
WELL, NOW,
LOOK, YOU TWO.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE
TODAY. HERE'S YOUR APARTMENT.
YOU CAN'T BEAT I FOR TWO ANYPLACE.
BUT SPEAKING
FOR MYSELF,
I'D THINK YOU'D LIKE A
LITTLE HOUSE WITH A GARDEN.
ANYWAY, I GET MYSELF
A ROOM-
OH, HELEN, I'D HATE TO TURN YOU OUT.
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
A ROOF'S A ROOF,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
WAIT A MINUTE,
HELEN, HOLD IT.
THIS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE WITH YOU GIRLS.
I'M SHIPPIN' OU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
THEN YOU TWO GIRLS
KEEP ON LIVING HERE,
JUST AS IF NOTHING
HAPPENED AT ALL.
YOU'RE SHIPPING OUT?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'M DOIN'?
I'M A SAILOR,
AIN'T I?
YES, OF COURSE,
BUT...
I GUESS I THOUGHT YOU'D GO
TO WORK HERE OR SOMETHING.
WELL, I GUESS I JUS THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO STAY.
WELL, I... I GUESS I
DON'T KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT.
A SHORE JOB? ME?
HA! EMILY!
OH, NO, DEAR,
OF COURSE NOT!
IT'S FUNNY.
ALL...
ALL THINKING STOPS.
LOVE'S A DRUG,
ISN'T IT?
OH, BUT, HARRY,
WHEN YOU COME BACK, YOU
WANT A PLACE OF YOUR OWN
TO COME BACK TO,
DON'T YOU?
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THIS PLACE?
WELL... NOTHING,
IF I'M NOT HERE.
HOW DO YOU
BOTHER ME ANY?
WELL, YOU DON' WANT ME AROUND
WHEN YOU
COME HOME, DO YOU?
OH, YOU MEAN
THERE'S ONLY ONE ROOM.
SURE. 'COURSE I CAN GO
SIT IN A GUTTER SOMEPLACE,
BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
A MAN DOESN'T WAN ANOTHER WOMAN AROUND
IF THERE ARE
A THOUSAND ROOMS.
WELL, THAT'S
A BED, AIN'T IT?
THAT? HURTS YOU
TO SIT ON IT!
WELL, IT WON'T KILL YOU
TO SLEEP ON I A COUPLE OF NIGHTS,
WILL IT?
YOU WANT TO BE WITH EMILY
WHILE I'M GONE, DON'T YOU?
WHAT'S THE USE OF GETTIN' A
ROOM FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS?
BUT, ANYWAY,
DO AS YOU WANT.
I AIN'T GONNA
TELL YOU HOW TO SLEEP.
BUT, HARRY,
THAT ISN'T THE IDEA.
A MAN WANTS A HOME
OF HIS OWN.
A MAN'S GOT A GARDEN, FOR INSTANCE.
HE THINKS ABOUT I WHILE HE'S AWAY,
WONDERS
HOW IT'S GROWING.
DOES HE?
CERTAINLY!
MAN'S GOT TO WONDER HOW
SOMETHING'S GROWING-
A GARDEN
OR A BABY OR-
WHAT BABY?
HUH?
OH... YOU MEAN
A BABY.
WELL, YOU KNOW, FOR A MINUTE I THOUGH YOU WAS TALKING ABOU ANOTHER FRIEND OF YOURS.
MY MISTAKE, MY MISTAKE. A BABY, HUH?
DO YOU WAN A BABY, PAL?
NOPE.
SHE'S ON A RAMPAGE, AND
YOU'RE ALL WOUND UP, BOY!
HELEN, WHY DON' YOU GET MARRIED?
YOU SOUND LIKE
YOU'D LIKE IT.
THE OTHER NIGHT, YOU
WEREN'T GIVING IT VERY MUCH.
ANYWAY, I NEVER KNOW
WHEN I'LL BE BACK.
I'M LIABLE TO BE
SHIPPED ANYWHERE.
I'M LIABLE TO NO SEE YOU FOR YEARS.
ARE OF YOU SURPRISED
ABOUT ANYTHING?
ROOM'S KIND OF LOS A LOT OF IT'S, UH...
OH, NO, HARRY, NO. EVERYTHING'S
GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH,
LET'S GET GOING AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, WINE GOES
GREAT IN THE MORNING,
AND THE 3 OF US
WILL GO OUT.
WE'LL FIND SOME OF THE BOYS, AND WE'LL
HAVE A PARTY UNTIL THE SHIP SAILS.
THAT'LL TAKE CARE OF THE BEDS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES.
GEE, IT'S...
IT'S 8:30.
HEY, EMILY...
YEAH?
IT'S, UH... IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS, BUT...
YOU KNOW SAILORS ARE
KIND OF CRAZY, AND...
I'D NIP THAT BIRD
RIGHT IN THE BUD
AND TELL HIM
WHAT'S WHAT.
ALL THAT TALK I GAVE HIM
ABOUT THE PRIZE HE'D WON-
HE KNOWS IT, DOES HE? YES, HE DOES.
HIM...
IF HE WAS MINE,
I'D STICK AN ANCHOR ON HIM
BEFORE 10:00 THIS MORNING.
I'M AFRAID HE'D
DRAG IT A LITTLE.
NO, HELEN, JUST TO KEEP THE RECORD
STRAIGHT, I WALKED RIGHT INTO THIS.
I KNEW HE WAS A CRAZY GUY.
I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO
THINK IT OVER, BUT I DIDN'T.
I'M NOT BLAMING HARRY
AT ALL.
I'M BUYING HIS WINE.
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO?
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OK.
HI!
HI.
I GOT CHAMPAGNE,
AND I GOT THE BEST BOTTLE
OF BRANDY IN FRISCO.
WHICH DO YOU WANT?
HEY! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A DIVORCE.
HUH?
WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T LET'S WAIT,
HARRY.
WE DON'T BELIEVE IN
WAITING, DO WE, HARRY?
OK... YOU SAY YOU WANT A
DIVORCE, AND I SAY, "WHY?"
HMM?
AND I SAY,
"LOOK, MISTER... "
WHAT IS OUR NAME?
PATTERSON?
WHY, I WANT A DIVORCE,
MR. PATTERSON,
BECAUSE I WANT A DIVORCE.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
MARRIED TO YOU.
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE A GOOD HUSBAND.
HMM. ALL THAT TALK
WITH HELEN-
THAT'S THE DOPE,
AIN'T IT?
ALL THAT TALK ABOU LITTLE GARDENS
OR WHATEVER WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT.
YOU'RE WRONG. I DON'T WAN LITTLE GARDENS, EITHER.
I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN
- NOT A NICKEL'S WORTH.
YOU AGREE WITH ME THA MARRIAGE IS THE BUNK, HUH?
THERE AIN'T NOTHING
BETWEEN A MAN AND A TOMATO-
UH, A WOMAN
- BUT LIKE A TIME AT RENO.
BUT TO SETTLE DOWN?
THAT AIN'T IT, IS IT?
MY OLD FRIEND "IT."
LET'S PUT I THIS WAY, HARRY:
I'M NO MORE LIKE HELEN...
NO MORE LIKE HER THAN...
THAN... THAN THE GIRL
ON YOUR ARM.
HEY, YOU AIN'T JEALOUS OF HER, ARE YOU?
NO, DEAR.
COULD BE A LITTLE,
PAL...
ESPECIALLY A GIRL A GUY
CARRIES AROUND WITH HIM.
I WOULDN'T LIKE
A GUY PAINTED ON YOU
STARING AT ME,
NEITHER.
WOULDN'T YOU, HARRY?
NO, I WOULDN'T.
HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS- SUPPOSE
I STICK YOU ON THE OTHER ARM?
NO, THANK YOU,
DARLING.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU WOULDN' BE ASHAMED OF THIS GIRL NONE?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M PROTECTING
HER ABOUT. SHE DON'T NEED IT.
I'M SURE SHE DOESN'T.
AND, HARRY, I'M NO A BIT INTERESTED.
THIS GIRL WAS GOOD.
SHE LIVED ON THE SHORES
OF NORMANDY BEFORE THE WAR.
I LOOKED GOOD TO HER
BECAUSE SHE LIVED
NOWHERE NEAR ANYBODY
WORTH KNOWING.
I COULDN'T HELP
LOOKING GOOD TO HER.
THEN COME A TIME WHEN I'D
BETTER GET OUT OF THERE, SEE?
BUT GET THIS STRAIGHT- I
MISSED HER MORE THAN SHE DID ME.
SHE WAS ONE LOVELY GIRL.
I'D BET ON THAT.
WHAT DID SHE SAY
WHEN YOU SAID GOOD-BYE?
I DIDN'T SAY GOOD-BYE.
SHE WAS ASLEEP.
DID SHE SEE THIS?
NOPE.
SORRY.
WELL... I LIKE
YOUR FRENCH LADY.
AND I REPEAT-
I'M NOT IN LOVE
WITH LITTLE HOUSES
AND LITTLE GARDENS.
LITTLE GARDENS DON'T MEAN
ONE THING OR ANOTHER.
I DON'T MEAN THAT I'M
AFRAID OF THE SEA, EITHER.
WE COULD HAVE ALL
THE 7 SEAS BETWEEN US.
IT COULD STILL
BE PERFECT.
WHAT I'M TRYING
TO SAY IS...
WE DIDN'T BRING RENO
BACK WITH US.
RENO'S STILL IN RENO,
AND RENO SHOULD GROW
IN A GARDEN.
GET ME?
SURE, I GET YOU.
AND, SAY...
I WOULDN'T WONDER
IF YOU AND ME ARE A LO ALIKE, DO YOU KNOW IT?
AND HOW ABOUT THIS-
YOU GET A DIVORCE,
AND THEN
WHEN I LAND AGAIN,
IF YOU FEEL BETTER ABOU IT, WE'LL GET MARRIED AGAIN.
RIGHT TO LEFT,
LEFT TO RIGHT...
OK, PAL, OK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WE'RE DIVORCED, DEAR.
OH...
BUT NOT OFFICIALLY.
WE WEREN'T MARRIED
OFFICIALLY, EITHER.
OK, PAL, OK. NOW HOW
ABOUT FINDING THE BOYS?
NO, THANKS.
PARTY'S OVER, HUH?
IT WAS A NICE ONE.
MM-MMM.
WELL, SHE DOES MOVE, DON'T SHE?
I TOLD YOU ON THE STAIRS,
IT CAN HAPPEN FAST.
OK, DARLING, OK. AND
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
I'LL BE HANGING AROUND
THE SAME JOINT, PROBABLY,
AND I HOPE
YOU CHANGE IT, PAL.
THANKS, HARRY.
IF I DO, I'LL
LOOK YOU UP, PAL.
OK, PAL. SO LONG.
SO LONG.
DO I GET A KISS?
SURE.
OK.
SO LONG.
SO LONG.
YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL.
HI, GUS!
- HEY, HARRY!
WHAT SHIP
WE WORKING?
IT'S A LUCKY THING
YOU SHOWED UP!
THEY GOT MUDGIN ON
THE CARPET IN THERE.
WHAT FOR?
HE WON'T SAIL
WITHOUT HIS SOUL.
YEAH, AND THEY'RE GONNA
TAKE HIS BOOK AWAY.
YEAH?
AND ANOTHER THING...
SHOW ME THE LAW
OF THE MARITIME UNION
OR THE SHIPPING COMMISSION
THAT SAYS YOU CAN TAKE A MAN'S
BOOK AWAY FOR LOSING HIS SOUL.
WHAT SOUL? MY WEEPIN', IMMORTAL SOUL
THAT I HAVE TO HAVE TO
GO TO HEAVEN IF I DIE.
WE'VE ARGUED
LONG ENOUGH.
NOW, SHIP ON THE PACIFIC
BELLE, OR LOSE YOUR BOOK.
YOU AIN'T GOT A RIGHT TO PASS
JUDGMENT ON A THING LIKE THIS.
OH, I AIN'T, HUH?
NO, YOU AIN'T, MISTER.
YOU AIN'T BIG ENOUGH.
THE MARITIME UNION
AIN'T BIG ENOUGH.
THAT'S ALL, BROTHER.
YOU'RE BEACHED FOR GOOD!
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T!
HOLD IT, MUDGE.
HARRY!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
PAUL REVERE PATTERSON.
HIYA, PALS.
OK, BUT THIS LITTLE
CHARACTER-WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
ON A MISSION OF MERCY
IN RENO.
LOOK, PATTERSON, WE'VE LISTED
YOUR CREW FOR THIS TRIP.
THEY'VE ALL CHECKED IN
OK BUT THIS SCREWBALL.
HE'LL CHECK IN.
WHEN'S SHE SAIL?
BE ABOARD
FRIDAY MORNING.
WHAT ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT?
IF WE SAIL, WE SAIL.
I'LL GUARANTEE MUDGE.
GIVE HIM BACK HIS BOOK.
OK,
THERE YOU ARE.
MUCH THANKS, STEVE.
COME ON, MUDGE.
I DON'T KNOW, HARRY.
A MAN IN MY CONDITION-
TAKE IT EASY. I'LL GIVE YOU A
CERTIFICATE OF LOSS FOR THE THING.
WORSE GUYS THAN YOU HAVE
SKIMMED PAST THE PEARLY GATES.
DID YOU GET HIM
OFF, HARRY?
SURE, SURE.
WHERE YOU REALLY BEEN, HARRY?
I COULDN'T FIND YOU NOPLACE.
I WAS MARRIED
- MARRIED AND DIVORCED. RENO, RENO.
WHO WAS SHE,
HARRY?
A FRIEND OF MUDGIN-
PSYCHONEUROSIS.
MISS EMILY?
YEAH. YEAH, EMILY.
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
YOU DID THA TO MISS EMILY?
PATTERSON...
MARRIED?
LET'S HAVE A DRINK,
MUDGE, ON ME.
A DRINK? NO, NOT NOW.
I GOT AN ERRAND TO DO.
WHEW...
DID I STOP ONE!
'TWAS A DIRTY FIGHT?
NO, IT WAS STRIC MERCHANT MARINE RULES.
I'M ALWAYS
UNDERESTIMATING HIM.
DON'T YOU REALLY MEAN
THAT YOU OVERESTIMATED ME?
OH, NO, MISS EMILY.
I BET YOU DONE BETTER
THAN ANYBODY ELSE
COULD'VE DONE.
I CLAIM A DRAW.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A
GIRL CAN'T EVER WIN.
ALL SHE CAN DO IS
HOLD DOWN THE SCORE.
I GOT TO TAKE
THE BLAME FOR THIS.
OH, NO. WE WERE BOTH
OVERCONFIDENT...
BUT YOU CAN QUOTE ME-
A VERY CHARMING MAN.
OH, THE TRICKY,
TWISTY WAYS OF HIM.
WHEN I BRUNG HIM
INTO THE LIBRARY,
I KNOWED FROM THE VERY FIRS IT WAS YOU HE'D BE AFTER.
SO DID I.
BUT THE CHARM OF THE
SCAMP-YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
OH, YES.
NOT LIKE ME, WHO'S FOLLOWED
HIM THESE MANY YEARS.
I'VE CURSED HIM
FOR PICKING FIGHTS,
THEN GONE AFTER HIM INTO
THE BRAWL HE STARTED.
I'VE EVEN DEFENDED
HIM TO WOMEN
USING MY NATIVE
ELOQUENCE.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?
HE'LL MISS YOU,
I SAY.
HE'LL GRIEVE FOR YOU AND
COME BACK A BETTER MAN.
BE PATIENT, BE TRUE,
AND WAIT FOR HIM TO GROW
THE THORNY ROSE YOU
PLANTED IN HIS HEART.
THAT WAS LOVELY,
MR. MUDGIN.
IT WAS A LIE.
BUT I'LL NOT LIE
TO YOU, MISS EMILY.
IT'S GOOD RIDDANCE
YOU BROKE WITH HIM.
THAT WAS BRAVE.
THAT WAS STRONG.
I TOLD YOU I GOT A LEAST A DRAW, DIDN'T I?
YOU AIN'T BRUISED
TOO BAD?
NO.
YOU SEE, I'M A PRETTY
TOUGH MUG MYSELF.
SURE, NOW, YOU ARE.
YOU ARE.
BUT ME... I'M SAILING
WITH HIM.
BULLIED ME INTO IT,
HE DID! SHEER BULLYING!
YOU DESERVE A BOW.
A BOW? FOR SAVING
THAT BLACK OCEAN,
AND ME
WITHOUT A SOUL?
BOTH OF US ARE
LOST-CASTAWAYS.
HE NEEDS YOU,
MR. MUDGE.
KEEP THIS UNDER
YOUR HAT, PAL,
BUT HE ISN'T NEARLY THE
CHAMPION HE THINKS HE IS.
HARRY PATTERSON?
I CAN SAY NO MORE.
IT'S A TRADE SECRET...
BUT PUT THE LAUREL WREATH ON
HIS BROW AND LET HIM SWAGGER.
THE GUY STILL RATES A
CHEER, AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME.
QUEEN DEIRDRE
HERSELF.
SHAKE.
GOOD-BYE, MR. MUDGE.
HI.
HELEN! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HOME?
I'M TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU THAT I FORGOT.
I GIVE UP... SO
I'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
I LEFT A LO OF WORRY HERE.
OH, DEAR HELEN.
HEY, YOU SOUND FINE.
EM, ARE YOU PACKING TO GO AWAY
WITH HIM HIS LAST FEW DAYS?
NO. WE PARTED...
GAY AS TWO LARKS.
IF YOU'RE SORRY FOR ME,
YOU'LL BE SORRY...
BUT YOU CAN HAVE THE HARBOR
TILL HE'S GONE.
I'LL BE BACK
IN TWO DAYS...
TELL YOU ABOUT A DAYDREAM
I HAD IN THE LIBRARY.
THANK YOU.
HI, EM!
COME DOWN HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT ARE YOU PAINTING MY HOUSE FOR?
HA! IT NEEDS IT,
DON'T IT?
WHAT ARE YOU
PAINTING IT FOR?
JUST A GOING-AWAY
PRESENT, THAT'S ALL.
I GUESS I THOUGH IT WOULD PLEASE YOU.
THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE A
LITTLE MONEY IN MY SHOES.
NOW, LOOK.
THAT'S THE LAST WAY
TO LOOK AT IT, EMILY.
I SEE HOW IT WOULD MAKE
YOU SORE, NATURALLY,
BUT IT AIN' LIKE THAT.
WHEN I SAID A PRESENT,
I MEANT LIKE A PRESEN TO RENO
FROM BOTH OF US.
USUALLY YOU PAINT THE
TOWN GOOD THE LAST DAY,
IN MY TRADE.
BUT I THOUGHT, JUS TO SHOW YOU THAT RENO
WAS THE BEST TIME
I EVER HAD ASHORE,
I'D PAINT YOUR HOUSE
INSTEAD.
WELL...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF
YOU, HARRY, OF COURSE.
NOW WE CAN SAY
GOOD-BYE AGAIN.
AS YOU SAID, WE'RE ALWAYS
SAYING GOOD-BYE.
YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO FINISH IT?
NO, HARRY, THANKS.
WHY?
BECAUSE...
BECAUSE I SAY SO!
OK.
OK!
OH, FINE, YOU DECIDED
TO PAINT THE HOUSE.
IT LOOKS GREAT. I TAKE
IT YOU'RE MISS SEARS.
I'M MR. LITTLETON.
I WISH
I'D KNOWN-
I SHOULD GIVE UP
MY LAST DAY,
AND YOU
DON'T WANT IT.
BUT, PAINTER,
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?
NOW, THIS CAN ALL
BE SETTLED.
WHAT A SUCKER
I WAS!
GET OUT HERE, WILL YOU?
GET OUT OF HERE!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
MISS SEARS?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE
HE'S DOING A FINE JOB.
GET OUT?
LISTEN, I'M OUT!
I NEVER WAS SUCH
A SUCKER.
I SHOULD GIVE UP
MY LAST DAY
TO PAINT THIS
RUSTY DUMP!
WE CAN'T GET ANYWHERE
THIS WAY, PAINTER.
GET OUT OF HERE!
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE!
I'LL GET OUT WHEN
I'M GOOD AND READY!
YEAH, YEAH, YOU GO THAT LIBRARY LOOK.
YOU'RE SCREWY.
OH!
GET OUT OF HERE!
GET OUT OF HERE!
MISS SEARS, YOU CAN'T TREA PAINTERS LIKE THAT THESE DAYS.
THEY'RE INDEPENDENT.
WHOA,
THEY'RE INDEPENDENT.
SO LONG,
SCREWBALL!
HA HA HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
GET THAT SPRING LINE IN.
SHORE LEAVE'S OVER.
COME ON, SHAKE A LEG!
OK, HARRY.
ALL CLEAR AFT?
ALL CLEAR AFT,
CAPTAIN.
ALL CLEAR FORWARD,
BOSUN?
ALL CLEAR FORWARD,
CAPTAIN!
ALL RIGHT,
TAKE IT AWAY!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
HEY!
HI!
HEY, FELLAS,
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
HIYA,
SLUGGER!
HIYA, DEMPSEY!
HIYA, FELLAS!
HI!
HI!
DON'T HIT THE SHIP!
WHERE IS HE?
HEY, HARRY!
HERE'S YOUR...
HIYA, PAL!
HEY, EMILY!
HIYA, ROCKS!
DO YOU KNOW WHY
I WAS MAD?
NO!
I-
I DIDN'T WAN ANYTHING CHANGED!
WHAT?
I LIKED IT AS IT WAS!
WHAT?
AHH!
I LIKED IT AS IT WAS!
OH. HOW WAS IT?
WASN'T PAINTED SUNDAY,
WAS IT?
OH! HEY,
DON'T GET SWEET!
THIS AIN'T NO TIME
TO GET SWEET!
THROW A ROCK!
OK!
HEY!
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK!
HA HA! WHAT'LL
YOU HAVE, PAL?
ICE WATER!
BELLBOY'S KNOCKING!
WHO BOUGHT ME THIS?
ME!
WHERE?
RENO!
AWWWWW...
HEY, MUDGE!
DON'T YOUR SOUL RATE
WAVING GOOD-BYE, TOO?
YOU MEAN GRINNIN' LIKE
THE WAY YOU SAID IT?
SURE. A GUY'S SOUL,
HIS DAME, POWELL STREET,
TIP YOUR HAT TO HIM.
AHH, I COULDN'T.
THAT'S TOO FINAL.
AW, SNAP OUT, PAL.
NOTHING IS EVER FINAL
AS LONG AS YOU'RE LIVING.
WELL, MISS EMILY
WAS FINAL.
EMILY?
YEAH.
I SAW HER SAY
GOOD-BYE.
HO HO, SHE'S ALWAYS
SAYING GOOD-BYE TO ME.
SHE'S CRAZY.
DID YOU SEE HER
THROW HER HAT?
INDEED I SAW IT.
YOU SAW NOTHIN'.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER
THROWING ROCKS.
SOME SCREWBALL.
MY FRISCO SCREWBALL.
SCREWBALL, EH? HA!
SHE'S GONNA BE WAITIN'
FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK,
AIN'T SHE?
SURE.
WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF
SHE MET THE SHIP SWIMMING.
NO, NO, MR. BOSUN,
YOU NEVER LEFT HER.
SHE LEFT YOU,
GOD BLESS HER.
BUT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE
RID OF HER, NOT MISS EMILY.
WITH HER LAUGHTER AND
HER SWEET CRAZINESS.
SHE'LL TEAR
YOUR HEART OUT.
YOU STUMBLED ONTO
A QUEEN,
AND QUEENS GET INTO
MEN'S BLOOD,
AND DIRTY TRAMPS FROM
THE SEA CAN'T TAKE IT!
MUDGE.
THIS IS ME YOU'RE
TALKING TO-HARRY.
YEAH, I KNOW
IT'S YOU, HARRY.
YEAH?
I GUESS IT WAS SOMETHING
I WAS SAVING UP.
NOW IT'S SAID.
DON'T WANT TO
TAKE IT BACK?
NOT ONE WORD.
TAKE IT BACK.
YOU AIN'T TALKING TO
YOUR FRIEND,
YOU'RE TALKING TO
YOUR BOSUN.
OH, MY BOSUN, IS IT?
WELL, BEIN' A SAILOR AND
WITH RESPECT TO DISCIPLINE
TO BOSUN PATTERSON,
I TAKE IT BACK.
TO MY FRIEND
THAT WAS,
NEVER WILL I.
HA HA HA HA HA!
IT WAS ALL MY IDEA, COMING TO RENO.
EMILY WAS HERE ON HER HONEYMOON,
AND I SAID THE WAY TO GET CURED QUICK
IS TAKE A HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT YOU.
YOU MEAN A TACK FROM
THE HEEL THAT KICKED YOU.
MY LAST ONE WAS
JUST PLAIN RAT.
HOW ABOUT YOURS,
EMILY?
MINE WAS A SAILOR.
OH. ANNAPOLIS MAN?
NO.
WHAT WAS HIS RANK, DARLING?
HE'S A BOSUN.
GREATEST BOSUN
OF THEM ALL.
AND THE BIGGES HEEL.
BUT WHAT'S
A BOSUN, EMILY?
I THINK IT'S
THE NEXT RANK
ABOVE ADMIRAL
OF THE FLEET.
HE WAS JUS A TOUGH MUG SAILOR.
HE SOUNDS
ROMANTIC.
DON'T BELIEVE I EVER KNEW A SAILOR.
OH, YOU MISSED A LOT.
SHE WAS A PERFECTLY
HAPPY LIBRARIAN UNTIL HE-
OH, NO, HELEN, NO.
I WORKED IN A MORGUE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
THE DEAD RISE UP
WHEN THAT SAILOR
CAME IN.
EVEN GABRIEL'S HORN
COULDN'T PIPE HIM DOWN.
HE TREATED YOU LIKE A
TOMATO ON A BIG SHORE LEAVE.
WHAT A SHORE LEAVE.
AND THEN HE
RAN OFF TO SEA!
I WOULD HAVE HAD
AN ADORABLE HUSBAND.
ADORABLE?
FOR 3 DAYS
EVERY 6 MONTHS.
OR ONE DAY
EVERY 10 YEARS.
MM-HMM.
EMILY! EMILY!
HEY, JOE!
SHE ISN'T USED
TO DRINKING.
BETTER GET A DOCTOR,
HELEN.
IS SHE
ALL RIGHT?
WAS IT JUS THE BRANDY?
OH, NO, NO, NO. BU NOTHING TO BE ALARMED ABOUT.
QUITE A COMMON AILMEN AMONG BRIDES.
HUH?
EMILY-
OH, YOU POOR KID,
EMILY!
THEY SAY A WOMAN
CAN'T KEEP A SECRET.
YOU SHOULD HAVE
TOLD ME.
OH, NO, NO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
THROUGH WITH THE DIVORCE.
CERTAINLY I AM.
WELL, YOU BETTER
WRITE HIM AND-
NO, NO, NEVER.
AND I WANT YOU TO PROMISE
THAT YOU WON'T WRITE TO HIM.
OHHH...
HAVING BABIES IS
NO FUN, YOU KNOW.
THE LEAS HE COULD DO IS-
NO, HE COULDN'T.
NOT FOR ME.
I'M NOT GOING
TO ASK HIM.
OH, EMILY!
HEY, HEY, DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
RIGHT NOW YOU'RE GOING TO
WASH THE TEARS OFF YOUR FACE.
WE'RE GOING TO
THE DANCE TONIGHT.
ONCE THERE WAS A WAITRESS
IN THE BRIDGE DOOR HOTEL
HER MASTER WAS A FINE ONE
AND HER MISTRESS WAS A-SWELL
ALONG CAME A SAILOR LAD
FRESH FROM THE SEA
AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING
OF ALL THAT MISERY
WHEN DID HE SPEAK
TO YOU GUYS LAST?
OUTSIDE OF GIVEN ORDERS, NOT SINCE
WE LEFT SYDNEY, MORE THAN A MONTH.
I AIN'T HAD
A LOOK OUT OF HIM
SINCE FRISCO, 6 MONTHS.
6 MONTHS AND 11 DAYS.
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S ALL HOOKED UP WITH THAT GOOFY FIGH HE AND MUDGE HAD WHEN WE LEFT FRISCO.
MUDGIN GIVES ME
THE CREEPS, TOO.
ALL OVER THE SHIP
AND IN
EVERY BLINKIN' POR LIKE A DAF BIRD DOG AFTER
A GROUSE THAT FLEW AWAY.
STILL LOOKIN' FOR THA COCKEYED SOUL OF HIS.
... AS FAR AS YOU CAN SEE
FOR I TRUSTED ONE ONCE
AND HE PUT OUT TO SEA
AND THAT IS-
STOP THAT YOWLING!
WHERE'S MUDGIN?
HE'S UP IN
THE...
OH.
YEAH, "OH."
HELLO, BOSUN HARRY,
OLD PAL... SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OFF-DUTY?
MISS EMILY,
HARRY.
I SAW HER-SAW HER
FROM THE LOOKOUT.
SHE WAS STANDIN' RIGH HERE BY NUMBER ONE LIFEBOAT.
SHE DIDN'T LOOK SCARED
OR SORROWFUL OR NOTHIN'.
BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL
SHE WAS.
GAY-LIKE, SHE SMILED AND
THROWED HER SHOES IN THE OCEAN.
YOU'RE DRUNK.
YOU'RE BLIND DRUNK.
NO, NO, HARRY.
SOBER I SAW HER, TOO.
THE FIFTH NIGH OUT OF FRISCO.
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, MUDGIN.
YOU'RE ALWAYS
SEEING THINGS.
IF IT AIN'T YOUR SOUL POPPING OUT OF YOU
AND RUNNING UP
POWELL STREET,
IT'S A TOMATO.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,
MR. BOSUN, SIR.
I CAN SEE THINGS.
I CAN HEAR THINGS, TOO.
SIR.
HERE. COME ON,
THIS WAY.
YES, SIR,
BOSUN OLD PAL, SIR.
RIGHT BACK UP THERE
ON WATCH.
COME ON.
GET UP THERE, AND
MAKE IT FAST, PAL.
HOLD ON NOW,
HARRY.
START CLIMBING.
CLIMBIN' IT IS,
I'LL SCOOT UP
THAT WITCHBROOM HANDLE...
IT'S BEEN A SCREWY
DEAL, HARRY,
BUT YOU DON' WANT THIS.
WE'VE HOISTED TOO MANY
TOGETHER FOR THIS.
HE'S STIFF, HARRY.
I AIN'T HOISTED ONE
WITH YOU FOR A LONG TIME.
HARRY, THAT'S THE FIRS TIME YOU EVER HIT A MAN
WITH HIS HANDS DOWN.
YOU'VE BEEN HIT HARDER
THAN EVEN I THOUGHT.
YOU'RE MASSACRED.
STAND BY FOR
THAT FREIGHT'S SPRING LINE!
LET GO OF
YOUR SPRING.
CAST HER IN.
COME ON, GET THA GANGPLANK UP HERE.
HIYA, CHILI!
HARRY!
OH, HARRY,
HARRY.
I'VE BEEN COUNTING
THE TIME, TOO, PAL.
EVERY SECOND.
DID YOU COUNT EVERY SECOND, HARRY?
I MIGHT HAVE MISSED A
MOMENT, BABY, HERE AND THERE.
DON'T TELL ME
ABOUT THEM.
STILL LOVE ME
BEST?
I MEAN, MINNIE THE BEST AND ME SECOND?
LOOK, SEE THEM
FOOTPRINTS OF YOURS?
SAY GOOD-BYE TO THEM.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK IN
THEM WHEN YOU LEAVE, HARRY.
YOU'RE CRAZY
WITH THE HEAT.
I'VE QUIT THE SHIP.
I'M WASHED.
I'M QUITTING EVERYTHING,
RIGHT TO LEFT, LEFT-
I MEAN RIGHT AND LEFT.
I'M SPITTIN' COTTON.
HEY, NICK!
CHAMPAGNE!
I WANT TO GET THE BAD
TASTE OF THIS MUD SCOW
OUT OF MY MOUTH.
BLOW YOUR PERFUME
AT ME, PAL.
I'M SICK OF
SMELLING SAILORS.
CHAMPAGNE NEVER TO SAY GOOD-BYE AGAIN.
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY
HELLO AND HELLO.
HELLO, HELLO!
TO CHILI,
MY DEAR OLD HOMESTEAD.
TO THE DEAR OLD HOMESTEAD
AND DEAR ME IN IT.
MMM, MMM.
OK!
TELL TIME IT CAN STOP.
STOP, TIME!
SHE STOP?
ALL ANCHORED, BABY.
NOW, NOW SAY
YOU LOVE ME.
I LOVE YA.
BETTER.
GOOD.
NO GIRL
LAUGHS AT ME?
I'M ALL YOURS, BABY.
HEY, LET'S GO. WHERE'S RENO AROUND HERE?
RENO? WHO'S SHE?
HA HA! RENO'S
NO GIRL, BABY.
LIKE MINNIE,
ANOTHER SHIP?
A LITTLE CITY,
BIGGEST LITTLE CITY
IN THE WORLD.
RENO SOUNDS SWEET.
LET'S GO TO RENO.
OK, EMILY.
EMILY?
OH.
DON'T TELL ME
EMILY'S A SHIP.
DON'T TELL ME EMILY'S A LITTLE CITY!
THE GOOD SHIP EMILY.
NO!
THE GOOD OLD TOWN
OF EMILY, NEVADA.
NO!
ALL RIGHT,
EMILY'S A GIRL.
WE GOT MARRIED
AND DIVORCED.
SE?OR PATTERSON,
IS IT NOT?
IT IS.
AND I BROUGHT YOU
SOME OF THE KID'S THINGS.
AH. YEAH, THE KID FLUNKED.
AND US GUYS THA DIDN'T PRAY WAS PASSED.
YES, I HAD
THE SAME THOUGH WHEN I WAS IN
SAIL LONG AGO.
THE BEST AND THE
BRAVEST, THEY ARE TAKEN.
THAT'S RIGHT,
A DIRTY GYP.
BUT HE SHOVED OFF
WITH A LAUGH.
SEEMS LIKE HE JUST UP
AND WALKS AWAY ON THE SEA.
OH, SIT DOWN.
THIS IS MY MARIA.
SE?ORITA.
HOLA, SE?OR.
LONG AFTER YOUR SHIP
HAD DROPPED FROM SIGHT,
SHE STOOD AND WAVED AT THE EMPTY SEA.
ATTABOY,
MY STATUE.
A KINDLY ACT,
SE?OR.
I THANK YOU.
TO A SAILOR.
AND HIS EVENING STAR.
OK, GRANDPA!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
GREAT-GRANDPA.
OK, GREAT-GRANDPA.
LET'S ALL GET STIFF.
I'M SORRY I CANNOT JOIN YOU, SAILOR,
I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT FOR SUPPER.
UH-OH. WHO IS SHE?
MY GRANDCHILDREN, MY GREA - GRANDCHILDREN,
MY CHILDREN,
AND MY WIFE.
HOLY MOSES-
ALL LIVING
IN ONE HOUSE?
ON MY RANCH
IN THE HILLS.
BUT I SEE
THAT YOU ARE
WELL-FORTIFIED,
TOO, SE?OR.
DO WE DRINK AGAIN TO A HAPPY FUTURE
AND A LOT OF
CHILDREN?
NAH, NO,
NO CHILDREN,
NO GARDENS.
THE ONLY FLOWER THA GROWS IN A GARDEN
IS FAMILIARITY.
AND THEY SAY
IT BREEDS CONTEMPT.
AGAIN, I HAD THE SAME
THOUGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
YOU AND I WOULD HAVE
HAD A HIGH TIME ONCE.
AND FINISHED,
AS ALWAYS,
WITH A HEADACHE
IN THE HEART.
HARRY WAS MARRIED,
SE?OR.
OH?
YEAH, YEAH,
I TOOK A WHACK AT IT.
HOW LONG, HARRY?
3 DAYS.
QUITE A WHACK.
DON'T REGRE A MINUTE OF IT.
ONE LONG LAUGH.
SHE'D THROW A KISS
WITH ONE HAND
AND A ROCK
WITH THE OTHER.
HA! THAT SCREWBALL!
"OH," SHE SAYS,
"YOU CHEATED THA NICE LITTLE MAN.
GOOD-BYE!"
JUST SCIENTIFIC,
DARLING.
"AND I WON' STEAL A CHICKEN!
GOOD-BYE!"
I LOVE YOU,
DARLING.
"OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ON MY ROOF?
STOP PAINTING MY ROOF!
GOOD-BYE!"
SHE WAS ALWAYS SAYING
GOOD-BYE TO ME
FROM THE MOMEN I MET HER! HA!
THAT SCREWBALL.
A CHARMING,
VIOLENT LADY.
WELL, SE?OR...
NO, NO,
DON'T GO.
I HAVE
MY ENGAGEMENT.
THE MADHOUSE
IN THE HILLS?
IT IS MAD, NO DOUBT,
BUT PEACEFUL,
AND IT SHOULD BE A LITTLE
VIOLENT TO BE PEACEFUL.
YEAH?
MY WIFE AND I LIVE
FAMILIARLY AS TWO OLD SHOES,
YET WE LIVE
IN CONFLICT.
WE LIVE TO MAKE
EACH OTHER LAUGH,
AND THE CHILDREN
ARE OUR AUDIENCE.
WE ARE GREATER STRANGERS
THAN THE DAY WE MET,
AND THUS, MY FRIEND,
FAMILIARITY
BREEDS BEAUTY.
ADIOS, SE?OR.
SE?ORITA.
HE'S GOOD.
THE OLD BOY'S GOOD.
YES, HARRY.
HE'S VERY GOOD.
YEAH, YOU'RE 193, AND
YOU CAN PULL THAT STUFF.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
BACK TO HER?
HA! WHERE DO WE GO
FROM HERE?
I LEFT!
I GOT LAUGHED OUT.
I WASN' LAUGHING AT YOU.
IT WASN'T YOU
WHO WAS LAUGHING.
IT'S SHE-
LAUGHING AT ME.
ADIOS, HARRY.
HEY!
MARIA, HEY!
MARIA!
HEY!
HA HA!
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING
GOOD-BYE TO ME.
NICK!
COME ON, WHAT'LL YOU HAVE,
EVERYBODY?
IT'S LIKE I SAY, RED-
A GUY CAN FORGE ANYTHING.
A BIG, STRONG GUY
LIKE YOU? SIMPLE.
TIME DOES IT.
TIME AND DISTANCE.
DON'T I KNOW.
AIN'T I TOLD YOU,
HARRY?
SURE.
I'LL BET YOU CAN'T EVEN
REMEMBER THE GUY'S FACE
OR NOTHIN'
HE EVER SAID.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
HE WAS A SOFT-TALKING HEEL FROM ALABAMA
WITH A DIMPLE
IN HIS CHIN,
AND I FORGOT HIM
LIKE THAT.
JUST LIKE THAT.
AND YOU AIN' A SAILOR.
A SAILOR'S GOT PLENTY
OF OCEAN-
10,000 MILES
OF THE STUFF.
AND TIME,
THAT DOES IT. TIME.
GOOD OLD TIME.
GOD BLESS TIME,
I SAY.
IT'S BETTER THAN
BOOZE OR DOPE.
THE DOCS AIN'T GO NOTHING
COMPARED TO WHA A FEW MONTHS WILL DO.
OR YEARS.
SOMETIMES
YOU NEED YEARS.
NOT ME.
THAT DEPENDS ON WHO
YOU'RE FORGETTING.
I DON'T WISH TO APPEAR
DOGMATIC, MY DEAR HARRY,
BUT IT DOES DEPEND
ON WHO YOU FORGET.
THERE AIN'T A DAME ON EARTH
I CAN'T FORGET IN 6 MONTHS.
OK, OK.
YOU FALL IN LOVE
WITH A DAME,
AND SHE WANTS TO PLAN TREES IN YOUR HEART.
TO SHADE A POTATO PATCH THA SHE'LL WATER WITH YOUR BLOOD.
HARRY...
HARRY,
MUDGIN'S HURT.
HE FELL OFF
THE SHIP.
OK, THROW HIM
BACK AGAIN.
BUT, HARRY, HE'S LAYIN' ON THE DOCK
WITH HIS WHOLE
SIDE CAVED IN!
TELL THE CAPTAIN I DON' FALL FOR THAT STUFF.
TELL HIM MUDGIN
AND I PARTED COMPANY.
HARRY, CAPTAIN WAS SAILING
WITHOUT YOU, BUT NOT MUDGIN.
HE JUMPED SHIP
TO FIND YOU.
I AIN'T SEEN MUDGIN SO
CRAZY SINCE HE LOST HIS SOUL!
THIS BETTER BE
ON THE LEVEL.
HERE, PAL,
20 BUCKS.
WHAT FOR?
GOOD CONVERSATION.
OK, BOYS,
TAKE HIM ABOARD.
HOW IS HE, DOC?
STOP JARRIN' HIM.
'COURSE...
IRELAND IS...
AND ME WASH SPITOONS
FOR SEAN AGAIN.
THE SEA... SHIPS...
GOOD-BYE, DARLIN'.
LOOK OUT!
TORPEDO, TORPEDO!
OK, MUDGE, OK.
LAY STILL AND REST.
OH, IT'S YOU, HARRY.
YEAH.
HERE, WANT SOME
WATER?
WHERE'S THE SKY?
AND THE WIND
BLOWIN'?
WE'RE ON THE SHIP,
MUDGE.
BOUND FOR FRISCO.
FRISCO?
THEN I'LL GO
ON DECK NOW.
NO, NO, NO.
TAKE IT EASY.
BUT A MAN MUSTN' DIE IN THIS RATHOLE.
YOU AIN'T GONNA DIE.
INDEED, NOW?
LET'S TAKE HIM
ON DECK, HARRY.
COULDN'T MAKE HIM
NO WORSE.
YEAH, IF WE
DONE IT CAREFUL.
OK. OK.
THE SKY...
THE WIND...
MUDGE, WE'RE OUT OF
THE RATHOLE.
I KNOW IT.
WELL, TAKE A LOOK.
I'M SCARED TO...
AND ASHAMED.
NOTHING TO FEEL
THAT WAY ABOUT.
THE FOG-
THE FOG'S
CLOSIN' IN,
AND I AIN'T GO MY SOUL-
MY WEEPIN'
IMMORTAL SOUL.
YOU NEVER LOST IT,
MUDGE.
YES, I DID.
ON POWELL STREET.
A TINY LIGHT,
A LITTLE STAR.
I'M IN
THE DARK NOW.
ALL BY MYSELF,
AND NOT EVEN A MATCH TO
STRIKE ON MY BRITCHES.
A DISGRACE
TO IRELAND.
AYE...
DID YOU FEEL IT,
HARRY?
DID IT TOUCH YOU?
SURE, MUDGE, SURE.
TELL ME SOMETHING-
MY SOUL, HE GIVE I BACK TO ME.
THAT'S RIGHT,
MUDGE.
NEAR ENOUGH.
AIN'T YOU GO UP THERE YET?
OH, YOU STILL LOOSE?
NOTHING EVER
CHANGES.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL TAKE A CHANCE.
BROTHER,
YOU'RE DUE.
I'LL HANG AROUND
A FEW MINUTES,
IN CASE YOU COME
OUT ON YOUR EAR.
OK.
HI, HELEN.
EMILY!
HI, PAL.
EM! EM!
WHERE IS SHE?
SHE DON'T LIVE HERE
ANYMORE.
WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?
WHY?
HEY, WHAT'S
EATING YOU?
WHAT KIND OF
A GREETING IS THIS?
GREET YOU?
I GREET YOU?
I COULD CUT YOUR THROAT, YOU RAT!
AND I COULD
CUT MINE, TOO!
THAT MORNING
FROM RENO IN THERE-
THAT DAY OF
THE BIG CELEBRATION
AND ALL THAT STUFF
I PULLED ABOUT-
ABOUT BEING SO HAPPY BECAUSE
YOU MADE HER FEEL SO HAPPY!
OH, BOY, ALL THOSE WORDS
CAME BACK AND BIT ME!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HELEN?
EMILY AND I PARTED
THE BEST PALS GOING.
SHE DON'T KNOW
YOU'RE ALIVE!
SHE'D DIVORCED.
SHE'S RID OF YOU.
SHE'S ALL RIGHT,
AND YOU LEAVE HER ALONE.
YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!
THERE'S MY CAB.
WHERE YOU GOING?
WHERE YOU GOING?
GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
WHERE YOU GOING?
HEY-HEY, I THOUGH THAT OTHER DAME-
HURRY, DRIVER, HURRY.
HEY, WHAT IS?
YOU TELL ME WHERE EMILY
IS, AND I'M NOT KIDDIN'.
I'LL TELL YOU.
SHE'S HAVING A BABY!
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT?
A BABY?
YEAH, A BABY.
EVER HEARD OF THEM?
WELL, THIS IS IT!
WHAT'S THE IDEA OF HER HAVING
A BABY, AND ME NOT KNOWING IT?
IF I'M A FATHER,
I'M A FATHER.
WHERE IS SHE?
WE'RE GOING THERE.
THE FARM.
WELL, YOU WAI TILL I GET THERE.
COME ON, STEP ON IT!
GET GOING!
YES, FATHER.
I'M GOING
TO TOWN. STICK AROUND.
YEAH, HE WON'T BE
WITH US LONG.
THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS LEAVE HER ALONE NOW.
YEAH? WELL, IT'S ON YOUR HEAD.
THE DOCTOR SAYS SHE'S IN
NO CONDITION TO BE UPSET.
I'M HANDLING THIS.
HELLO,
MISS MELOHN.
HOW IS SHE?
SHE SEEMS
FINE.
NO, NO,
I'M SORRY.
NO VISITORS.
I AIN'T NO VISITOR,
TOOTS.
CHIEF SURGEON,
MERCHANT MARINE.
HE IS?
NO, IT'S HIM-
THE BIG BOSUN.
OH.
DON'T SEE IT. WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?
SAID THERE'S
A TREE IN HERE.
OH. IS THAT I OUT THERE?
IT'S A BIG TREE.
ONE NIGHT I MET A GIRL
UNDERNEATH IT.
SHH! SHH!
SHH! SHH!
WE'RE IN THE LIBRARY,
AT THAT.
I'M JUST WHISTLING
FOR DRINKS.
HA HA HA HA!
HIYA, PAL!
REMEMBER ME?
I WOULDN'T KNOW YOU,
YOU'VE CHANGED SO.
HOW DO YOU DO,
MR. PATTERSON?
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU DON'T LOOK
NO DIFFERENT, BABY.
HEY, I GOT THE NEWS
FROM DEAR OLD HELEN.
CONGRATULATIONS,
PAL.
OH.
ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU?
UH-HUH.
I'M FINE, I'M FINE.
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE
READING IN THIS LIGHT.
YOU WANT TO RUIN
YOUR EYES? HMM?
NO AIR!
HEY...
WHEN'S THIS SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN, PAL?
IT COULD HAVE
HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
WELL, WHAT'S
THE IDEA?
WHY AIN'T YOU IN A
HOSPITAL, WHERE YOU BELONG?
THIS AIN'T NO SETUP.
A FARM,
A HICK DOCTOR.
YOU KNOW WHO'LL TAKE THE
RAP IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG?
ME.
SUCH CONCERN, HARRY-
I'M OVERCOME.
BUT I WAS BORN
IN THIS BED,
AND DR. ASHLON
WAS MY DOCTOR.
I SEE. DR. ASHLON
WAS YOUR DOCTOR,
NOW HE'S MY DOCTOR.
AN OLD MAN TRIPPING
ON HIS BEARD.
NOT A CHANCE.
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
HMM?
JUST AS FRESH
AS EVER.
A DAME'S GONNA HAVE A BABY,
SHE USUALLY WRITES A GUY,
DON'T SHE?
SOMETIMES A GIRL...
GETS WRITER'S CRAMP,
HARRY.
YEAH?
WELL, IT WASN' THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
HA!
I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHAT I WOULD BE LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
HOW IS IT?
OH, IT'S JUST... GAY.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT DOESN'T HURT.
NOT TO BE HUR HURTS MORE.
I GUESS I DON' GET YOU.
THAT BIG TREE.
YOU MET A GIRL
UNDER IT, HARRY.
THAT FIRST NIGHT,
THAT FIRST KISS...
THE MOON TURNED OVER, AND THE
FLOOD SPLASHED IN HER FACE.
WHERE IS THAT GIRL?
I DON'T SEE MYSELF
IN YOUR EYES, HARRY.
HARRY.
YEAH?
WILL YOU MARRY ME,
HARRY?
SURE THING,
ANYTIME!
RIGHT TO LEFT,
LEFT TO RIGHT.
YOU WOULDN'T MARRY ME IF I ASKED YOU TO.
OH, PROBABLY WOULD.
I WAS ALONE FOR A LONG
WHILE BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG,
AND I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR A
LONGER WHILE SINCE YOU LEFT.
I KNOW THERE'LL NEVER BE
ANOTHER MAN UNDER A TREE FOR ME.
FUNNY, ALL THAT TALK
OF TREES AND LIBRARIES.
THERE SHOULD BE A REAL
TREE, FOR A MINUTE.
WELL, PAL,
I'LL HAND YOU ONE.
I'LL NEVER KISS ANOTHER
GIRL UNDER A TREE, EITHER.
WE JUST MISSED,
DIDN'T WE?
HOW LONG YOU STAYING
THIS TIME, HARRY?
OH, I GOT A COUPLE
OF WEEKS, WITH LUCK.
GOOD.
HOW ARE THE BOYS?
OH, AND HARRY,
HOW'S MY MUDGIN?
HE'S OK.
HE, UH,
FOUND HIS SOUL.
OH?
IT HAD WINGS
ON HIM.
FLEW AWAY
WITH HIM.
YOU MUST MISS HIM
TERRIBLY.
AW, HE'S JUS A PAL OF MINE.
HE'S A PAL
OF MINE, TOO.
HE CALLED ME
QUEEN DIERDRE.
THAT POOR LOST POE WHO HAD THE STRENGTH
OF A BOSUN.
HE WAS STRONG
ENOUGH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH...
A FRIEND OF OURS
WANTS TO SEE US.
OH...
NURSE! NURSE!
PAIN?
YEAH. WHERE ARE YOU?
GET IN THERE, WILL YOU?
IT HIT HER
JUST LIKE A KNIFE.
WELL, THAT'S WHA WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
THAT'S GREAT. YOU'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR IT.
HARRY!
SHE ALL RIGHT?
YES, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT A LITTLE BOY,
HARRY!
BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE
HIM, YOU BETTER HURRY!
CYANOSIS, DOCTOR.
NORMAL
PREGNANCY, NORMAL BIRTH,
BUT HE DOESN' BREATHE.
TELL ME WHY.
YOU'RE JUST OUT OF
JOHNS HOPKINS, AIN'T YOU?
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
TELL ME WHY.
GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M HIS FATHER.
FATHER? YOU ARE?
OXYGEN.
OXYGEN GOT TO...
ANY CHANCE, DOC?
I DON'T KNOW.
JOHNS HOPKINS
DOESN'T KNOW.
ADRENALINE.
MAYBE SOME MORE
DOCTORS-
DON'T TALK LIKE
A FOOL!
50 SECONDS BETWEEN
LIFE AND DEATH,
AND HE CALLS
FOR MORE DOCTORS.
OUR BABY.
AND WE DID IT.
DON'T EVEN GIVE GOD
CREDIT FOR A LITTLE HELP.
I- I'M PRAYING.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHY HE SHOULD HEAR YOU.
MOOCHERS, ALL OF US.
TAKE HIS LOAN OF LIFE
AND NEVER WORK IT OUT,
NEVER PAY HIM BACK.
SQUANDERED
HIS SUNSHINE
ON MISERABLE
TWO-LEGGED BEASTS,
LEND HIS WORLD TO
BIOLOGICAL MISFITS-
DEAF, DUMB, BLIND.
MAKE HIM BREATHE, DOC.
COME ON.
GRAB IT, SONNY.
WORK YOUR LUNGS.
CYANOSIS, DOCTOR. MORE OXYGEN.
YEAH,
THAT'LL DO IT.
IT WORKED IN THE PAST,
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
YEAH.
PIN CLOUDS OF GLORY ON
HIM WITH A HYPO NEEDLE.
SYRINGE MUSIC
IN HIS EARS.
DROP STARS
IN HIS EYES.
AND...
AND I GUESS HE COULDN'T DO IT FOR US.
HIS LITTLE
IMMORTAL SOUL IS-
BREATHE!
BREATHE FOR US, PAL.
COME ON, BOY.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
TO YOUR MOTHER.
COME ON WITH IT!
YOU GOT TO DO IT FOR ME!
BREATHE.
FOR YOUR MOTHER.
ATTABOY.
ATTABOY!
HARRY!
HARRY!
YOU HEAR HIM?
HE'S HERE.
HE'S HERE
TO STAY.
I HEARD YOU, HARRY.
I HEARD YOU.
LISTEN TO HIM.
YES.
YOUNG HARRY PATTERSON.
YOUNG MUDGIN PATTERSON.
OH, YES.
YES.
YOUNG WILLIAM MUDGIN
PATTERSON.
YOUNG MUDGIN.
BIG HARRY.
EMILY.
AND A TREE.
ANT POWDER ON THAT, CAP?
THANKS, SE?OR.
IT'S CLOSED.
COME ON!
WELL, IT SAYS
"LADIES," DON'T IT?
AAH!
SE?OR PATTERSON, THE DOOR I HAVE CLOSED!
AND I HAVE OPENED.
PUT SOME HINGES ON HIM.
YOU CAN NEVER TELL
WHEN I MIGHT WAN TO BRING A LADY
IN HERE, RUDOLFO!
SI, SE?OR.
SI, SE?OR.
NICK! RUDOLFO'S LETTING
THIS PLACE RUN DOWN.
YES, SIR, A LITTLE WORSE EVERY 10 YEARS.
I'VE BEGUN TO
NOTICE IT MYSELF.
MINNIE'S CALLING
YOU, MR. PATTERSON.
WHO?
JUST A SHIP,
MISS MARIA.
OH.
DEAR OLD MINNIE TOPER. CHAMPAGNE.
CHAMPAGNE.
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY HELLO, AND
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
NOT TODAY, SE?OR.
WE DON'T SHAKE FOR THE
LAST ONE, LIKE ALWAYS?
NOT LIKE ALWAYS.
OH. WELL, MAYBE YOU GOT 'EM
LOADED UP A LITTLE, HUH, NICK?
OK, ROLL 'EM.
11. LOADED
WITH LUCK!
MM-HMM. WELL, MAYBE IF
I SPEAK REAL NICE TO 'EM,
MAYBE THEY'LL TALK
BACK TO ME, HUH?
THEY TALK TO YOU,
AND CRY FOR ME.
WELL...
SAY YOU LOVE ME. I'LL
MAKE BELIEVE I BELIEVE IT.
I LOVE YA.
AW, HARRY, TRY SAYING
"I LOVE NO GIRL MORE."
HOW MANY TIMES WE
SAID GOOD-BYE, PAL?
3. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.
3 GOOD-BYES TO ONE GAL.
I'M JUST A ONE-WOMAN
MAN, RIGHT, NICK?
YES, SE?OR.
WELL, HERE'S TO THE GIRL
I'LL NEVER LOVE MORE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW THIS GIRL
YOU NEVER LOVE MORE-
I HEAR HER
LAUGHING AT ME.
SURE. MINNIE. SHE'S ALWAYS LAUGHING.
I HOPE IT'S MINNIE.
HERE'S TO MINNIE.
MINNIE AIN'T FOOLING.
GOOD-BYE, NICK.
HASTA LA VISTA,
HARRY.
SO LONG, EVERYBODY!
ADIOS, AMIGO!
ADIOS!
ADIOS, SE?OR.
HAIL AND
FAREWELL.
I'M GOING TO
MISS YOU, HARRY.
NEVER TO SEE
YOUR FACE AGAIN.
BLACK WITH SIN AND GRINNING
LIKE THE BAD ANGEL HIMSELF.
IT BREAKS ME UP INSIDE
TO SEE YOU LEAVE, HARRY!
THAT'S FINE, MUDGE. LET'S
GET ABOARD. WE'RE SAILING.
OOH, I'M SAILING?
AYE, AYE, BOSUN!
SHIPMATES BY THE
GRACE OF HEAVEN!
YOU BOYS DID GOOD
THIS TRIP.
ABANDON! CAST OFF THE
LINES! FARE THEE WELL!
WHY DO SAILORS
DRINK SO HARD?
OH, THAT IS A
COMPLICATED MATTER.
A BOY WHO IS GOING TO
SEA FOR THE FIRST TIME
SHOULD BE THINKING
OF SIMPLE THINGS.
YES, SIR.
YOUR FAMILY, WHO
LOVE YOU ON EARTH.
YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER,
WHO LOVE YOU IN HEAVEN.
I HAVE THEM IN MY
THOUGHTS, GREAT-GRANDFATHER.
I'M RAMON ESTADO.
THIS IS MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER,
SE?OR RAMON ESTADO.
HI.
THE FIRST MATE TOLD ME I
WAS TO BE UNDER YOUR COMMAND.
OK, GET ABOARD.
THANK YOU.
ADIOS.
GO WITH GOD.
WITH GOD.
ADIOS, GRANDFATHER.
I KNOW MY GREAT-GRANDSON
WILL BE SAFE WITH YOU.
SURE, SURE.
I WAS A SAILOR
MYSELF, AT ONE TIME.
WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP
THAT KID ON THE FARM?
THE SEA IS A GOOD
SCHOOL ALSO, IS IT NOT?
OH, YES.
SWELL, GRANDPA.
WE TURN OUT SOME AWFUL
SMART SEAGULLS AND SHARKS.
OK, BABY,
I'LL HURRY BACK.
I'LL WAIT, HARRY.
I'LL BE LIKE A STATUE FACING THE SEA.
I WON'T EVEN MOVE!
HA HA! DON'T MOVE
UNTIL I'M BACK.
I WON'T.
GET RID OF
THIS GANGWAY!
AYE.
MUCHACHOS!
LET GO EVERYTHING!
STAND BY,
FORE AND AFT, ALL HANDS!
HARRY, I-I'M JUS A LITTLE BIT STUNG.
YEAH, YEAH. GET ON
THOSE HEAD LINES!
SIR, HAS THIS SHIP
BEEN PROPERLY BLESSED?
OH, SURE, SURE. I BLESS
THE OLD TUB MYSELF,
MORNING, NOON,
AND NIGHT.
AND DON'T THROW 'EM
ON THE DECKS!
STOW 'EM BELOW,
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!
AND I SAY IT'S
A PROVEN FAC THAT MORALITY
AMONG BRITISH SEAMEN
IS HIGHER THAN
AMONG YANKS.
YOU LIMEYS ARE PLAYED OUT, THAT'S WHY.
OH YES? WE STILL HOLD
DOMINION OVER PALM AND PINE.
YEAH, AND UNDER EVERY TREE
SITS A YANK WITH A DAME!
HA! GUS
WON'T FACE THE FACTS.
WHAT FACTS?
THE FACTS OF MORALITY
AMONG SEAMEN, THAT'S WHAT.
I SAY BRITISH SAILORS HAS
HIGHER MORALS THAN YANKS.
HERE. HERE'S THE
STATISTICS WHAT PROVES I IN BLACK AND WHITE.
WHERE'S THE PAGE?
OH, HARRY, THAT WAS ME
PROOF! BLACK AND WHITE!
BLACK AND GREEN,
PINK AND YELLOW,
I CAN'T RUN A DECK GANG
WITH YOU WAVING BOOKS AROUND.
YEAH!
PAY HIM, GUS.
SO WHY DO I
PAY HIM?!
I'VE SEEN YOU BOTH IN PORT. PAY HIM.
HA! THANKS,
HARRY.
YOU WASHING AGAIN?
OH, HELLO, HARRY.
IT KIND OF COMFORTS A
MAN TO SCOOP UP SEAWATER
THAT'S FULL OF THE SINS OF
THE WORLD AND PUT SOAP IN IT.
YOU'VE GOT SIN
ON THE BRAIN.
WELL, IT'D BE HARD TO
EXPLAIN TO YOU, HARRY,
BUT A MAN SURE FEELS DIRTY
AFTER HE'S BEEN IN POR AND DONE THE THINGS
I DONE.
NEVER MIND THAT.
YOU OWE ME 60 PESOS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A
CHANCE TO GET EVEN
BEFORE YOU GO
ON WATCH.
BEFORE I GO ON
WATCH, HARRY?
THANKS, HARRY.
I PUT YOU ON
THE PAINT DETAIL.
OH, I GOT TO GET THIS
CLOCK BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
YOU'VE LOS HALF THE PARTS.
COULDN'T FIX IT,
ANYWAY.
OH, HARRY! AIN'T YOU GONNA
TRUST ME TO FIX NOTHING?
SURE. FIX THIS
VENTILATOR.
BUT IT AIN'T A MACHINE! IT DON'T MOVE!
SURE IT DOES! DID YOU EVER
LOOK INSIDE A PIECE OF IRON?
YOU KIDDING ME,
HARRY?
NO, NO. THIS VENTILATOR'S A LITTLE SKY,
FULL OF SUNS AND
MOONS AND STARS!
THEY WHIZ AROUND,
IMITATING THE BIG UNIVERSE.
YEAH, HARRY?
MILLIONS OF ELECTRONS AND PROTONS
LIVE IN THIS
VENTILATOR.
AND IF YOU LISTEN
HARD ENOUGH,
YOU'LL HEAR A GUY
ELECTRON WHISTLING
AT A DAME PROTON.
LOVE BLOSSOMS
BETWEEN 'EM.
AND WHAT'S THE
RESULT OF IT ALL?
I DON'T KNOW,
HARRY.
A PIECE OF IRON.
PAINT IT.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR? A RAFT FULL OF DAMES?
NO, SIR. THE EVENING
STAR JUST CAME OUT.
MY GRANDFATHER SAYS
BEAUTY LIKE THIS
WILL STAY WITH
A MAN ALWAYS.
THAT WHY YOU'RE
ABOARD?
GRANDFATHER THINKS A MAN
SHOULD TRAVEL THE SEAS
AND TOUCH HANDS
WITH THE UNIVERSE
SO THAT HE CAN LIVE
AT PEACE ON LAND.
THE OCEAN DON'T DO NOTHING
BUT DRIVE YOU ASHORE,
AND THE LAND DRIVES
YOU BACK TO SEA.
THAT'S JUS BLACK WATER.
DON'T GET TO THINKING YOU
CAN WALK NO PLACE ON IT.
I DO NOT KNOW IF MEN
CAN WALK ON WATER,
BUT I WOULD NOT BE
AFRAID TO TRY.
LOOK, KID, I GOT A LAZY CREW THIS TRIP.
IT DON'T HELP NONE FOR YOU
TO STAND SEAGULL-WATCHER
OR ASK DUMB QUESTIONS
ABOUT NOTHING.
GET TO WORK!
SORRY, SIR.
AH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU AIN' DUE ON WATCH FOR ANOTHER HOUR.
FORGET WHAT I SAID.
HEY, HARRY, THERE'S
A JAP SUB CHASING US.
DON'T GO SPREADING
WILD RUMORS!
NO, IT SAID SUB
ON THE BOOK!
SPONCE IS RUNNING TO
THE CAPTAIN NOW!
WE'RE ON THE ALERT!
SIT DOWN AND
CUT FOR DEAL!
AW, HARRY,
THIS AIN'T SENSIBLE!
PLAYING CARDS IN A
CRISIS LIKE THIS...
NOTHING MORE
SENSIBLE.
KING'S HIGHER THAN
QUEEN, 2 AND 2 MAKE 4.
DO YOU KNOW THAT WE MAY
BE FACING OUR LAST MOMENT?
SO WHAT?
WELL, I AIN'T IN
SUCH GOOD STANDING
THAT I CAN AFFORD TO DIE
WITH CARDS IN MY HAND.
I'LL HIDE THE
EVIDENCE, MUDGE.
AND THE CARDS IS RUNNING
BAD FOR ME, TOO...
THAT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE
SINS I COMMITTED IN CHILE.
IF HE IS A JAP SUB,
AND HE DOES GET US,
AND IF YOU DO GET KILLED,
GOD'S GOING TO DROP EVERYTHING
AND JUMP ON YOU
FOR PLAYING CARDS?
YOU AIN'T THA IMPORTANT.
WELL, MAYBE NO TO YOU,
BUT EVERY MAN HAS A
TREMBLING IMMORTAL SOUL,
AND THAT'S
IMPORTANT TO GOD.
ALL RIGHT, IT IS THE JAPS! THIS IS IT!
LISTEN TO THEM MUGS.
5 MINUTES AGO, THEY WERE TOO
LAZY TO DRAW A DECENT BREATH.
HARRY, A MAN HAS AN ACTUAL
RIGHT NOT TO WANT TO BE DEAD!
AH, SOON AS
THE DANGER'S OVER,
THEY'LL BE SITTING ON THEIR
BARNACLES AND GROUSING.
HARRY, PLEASE! WE'LL BE TRAPPED IN HERE.
WE'LL DIE IN HERE!
UH-UH, NOT ME.
I'M NOT DYING YET.
YEAH, BUT HOW
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I AIN'T GONNA DIE
TILL I'M GOOD AND READY!
LOOK AT IT. MILES DEEP,
BUT NOTHING TO DRINK.
OK, GUS, OK.
WHAT GRIPES ME MOST IS I
AIN'T GETTING PAID FOR THIS.
WHO SAYS SO?
THE COMPANY.
THE MINUTE
YOU'RE TORPEDOED,
THE COMPANY
STOPS YOUR PAY.
HERE. SHUFFLE
THE CARDS.
I CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE. I'M BUSHED, HARRY.
REALLY BUSHED!
WELL, 5 DAYS IN THE
SUN'S A LITTLE RUGGED.
HOW IS IT, RAMON?
GOOD.
HARRY... HE'S GOING TO
LET ME GO.
YEAH, YOU'LL GET HOME ALL RIGHT, KID.
SURE, SURE. YOU'RE
GOING TO MAKE IT.
HERE, KID.
DRINK THIS.
GET HIS HEAD, MUDGE.
THAT'S OUR RATIONS!
YOU GOT NO RIGHT TO-
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, GUS.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.
WE AIN'T GONNA DRINK
WATER WHEN WE GET TO PORT.
WE'RE GONNA
DRINK WHISKEY.
I GUESS HE DECIDED
TO WALK HOME.
RAMON DIED FINE.
HE DIDN'T FEEL
NOTHING.
THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH
WAY TO DIE,
WITHOUT FEELING IT.
THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH
WAY TO LIVE, BROTHER.
HERE, PASS THIS
ON TO GUS.
HAND ME THAT CANVAS.
I GOTTA PRAY,
HARRY.
IT'S OUR ONLY
CHANCE!
WHO'S STOPPING YOU?
THE KID PRAYED.
YOU SEE GOD, YOU
GOT TO SAVE HARRY.
I'M NOT ASKING THIS
FOR MYSELF.
YOU ASK I FOR YOURSELF.
HARRY DON'T REALLY
MEAN THAT, GOD.
HE KNOWS YOU TOOK
THE ONLY ONE OF US
THAT WAS IN ANY
SHAPE TO DIE.
LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.
I'M ASKING FOR HARRY AND
GUS AND LIMO AND MODEL T.
I'M NOT ASKING
FOR ME!
BUT IF YOU SEND HELP,
I'LL LIVE A BETTER LIFE.
I'LL NEVER EVEN LOOK
AT BAD WOMEN NO MORE.
HUH! NOW YOU'RE GONNA
BARGAIN WITH HIM!
I'LL NEVER TOUCH
ANOTHER DROP
OF HARD LIQUOR,
SO HELP ME.
I'LL NEVER USE A KNIFE
ON ANOTHER MAN IN A FIGHT,
NO MATTER HOW MUCH BIGGER HE IS THAN ME.
YOU GOT YOURSELF OU ON A LIMB NOW, BROTHER.
I KNOW YOU HEAR
HARRY, GOD,
BUT FORGIVE HIS
SACRILEGE AND HIS MOCKING.
I'LL GIVE YOU
ALL MY MONEY,
ALL OF IT, TO YOUR
CHURCH, SO HELP ME.
OH, NOW YOU'RE GONNA CHEA HIM. YOU AIN'T GOT A DIME!
YES I HAVE, TOO. $2,500
CASH- YOU KNOW THAT, GOD-
IN A SAVINGS ACCOUN IN THE MARITIME UNION
BANK IN FRISCO.
AND I'LL GIVE EVERY PENNY
OF IT TO YOUR CHURCH,
SO HELP ME.
THAT'S A SUCKER
DEAL, MUDGE.
YOU COULDN'T KEEP ONE OF
THOSE PROMISES, LET ALONE 4.
YES I CAN, GOD. DON'T LISTEN TO HARRY.
I SWEAR ON MY
IMMORTAL SOUL.
ON MY TREMBLING IMMORTAL
SOUL, I SWEAR IT!
WE'RE SAVED!
THANK GOD!
MY PRAYER
DONE IT!
WELL, WELL!
SO WE GOT A NAVY.
COR BLIMEY, GUS, YOU
LOOK LIKE A REAL GENT.
YEAH, LIMO, I FEEL LIKE A
GENT OUTSIDE AND A WOLF INSIDE.
YOU SURE YOU CUT ALL
THE HAIRS OUT OF MY EARS?
EVERYTHING IS
SHIPSHAPE NOW, SIR.
THAT TORPEDOING MUST HAVE
BEEN A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE.
YES, SIR, YOU
MERCHANT MARINE BOYS
GOT JUST AS MUCH RIGH TO CALL YOURSELVES HEROES
AS ANYONE ON
THE FRONT LINES.
YEAH, YEAH. HEY, YOU
NICKED ME ON THE CHIN.
WHERE'S MY
CITATION?
THEY GAVE HARRY A MEDAL ONE TIME,
BUT A PELICAN
SWALLERED IT.
YEAH, WE WAS TROLLING IT FOR BAIT.
WELL, I'M ALL CLEAN
AND NEAT, AND NOW I'LL-
OK, MUDGE. AND FOR BEING
SO RUGGED ON THE RAFT,
YOU CAN HAVE SECOND
CHOICE OF THE TOMATOES.
OH NO, HARRY, I'M NO GOING WITH YOU. REMEMBER?
REMEMBER WHAT?
I GOT THE MONEY, THE
$2,500 FOR THE CHURCH.
THAT WAS A SOLEMN
OATH, HARRY,
THE KIND A MAN'S
GOT TO KEEP.
I'D BE HIGHLY HONORED
WAS YOU TO COME ALONG.
I AIN'T IN
ON THE DEAL.
OH. WELL, THEN,
I'LL HAVE TO HANDLE
THIS TRANSACTION
BY MYSELF.
WHAT'S ALL THE RUSH?
A MAN OF STRONG MORAL
CHARACTER MIGHT WAIT,
BUT I BETTER
NOT.
HOLD IT. AIN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
OH, NO, HARRY. I'VE GO EVERY PROMISE MEMORIZED.
NO WOMEN, NO LIQUOR, NO KNIFE
FIGHTS, AND THE CHURCH DONATION.
BUT WE AIN'T DRUNK
THE MINNIE TOBER DOWN.
I KNOW THAT,
HARRY, BUT-
HEY, YOU GUYS,
MUDGIN DON'T WANT TO
DRINK THE
MINNIE TOBER DOWN!
YOU'VE GOT TO
DO THAT, MUDGIN!
SHE WAS
A GOOD SHIP!
AND HER BILGE
DIDN'T STINK.
HE'S REFLECTING
ON YOU, HARRY!
OH, NO,
HARRY.
I'LL SAY SO!
A GUY THAT WON'T DRINK A LOST SHIP DOWN
REFLECTS ON
HIS BOSUN!
YEAH!
HE DON'T HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING ON MY ACCOUNT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL
DO IT ON YOUR ACCOUNT, HARRY.
BUT JUS ONE SHORT BEER.
... OF YOU, OF YOU,
I'M DREAMING
THE SEA ROLLS WIDE
'TWEEN ME AND DUBLIN TOWN
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HANDSOME TONIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE DON'T LIKE BLONDES AND
HE DON'T LIKE BRUNETTES.
WHY DON'T YOU SETTLE
FOR ME, THEN, BIG BOY?
YOU'RE A NICE REDHEAD,
BUT I'M LOOKING FOR A DAME
WITH GREEN HAIR AND PURPLE EYES.
... GREEN ON IRISH GROUND
SCAMPS AND SCALAWAGS! MAURA
O'FLAHERTY LEFT WEEPING ON THE DOCKS!
JUST KEENING LIKE A BANSHEE!
I- I'LL BEAR NO MORE OF IT!
NO MORE OF IT!
WAITER. WAITER!
IT'S GONE, HARRY.
MY MONEY'S GONE.
I WAS ROLLED. IT'S
GONE, ALL RIGHT.
IT AIN'T UP
THERE, MUDGE.
WE TURNED THE DUMP
INSIDE-OUT.
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR
BREAKING ALL THOSE PROMISES.
WELL, I DIDN' KNIFE ANYBODY.
NO, YOU AIN'T VIOLATED
THE ATLANTIC CHARTER.
POLICE!
POLICE!
LIMO AND MODEL T!
THEY'RE STILL UP
THERE. COME ON.
OWWWW!
HERE HE IS!
HEY! WHERE YOU BEEN
KEEPING YOURSELF, MUDGE?
IN AN ALLEY
SOMEPLACE.
HE'S GOT THE BLOODY
ROTTEN SHAKES, HARRY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PAL? YOU HURT?
I'M AWFUL
SCARED, HARRY.
OF WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, WE AIN' GOT ALL DAY.
LET HIM TALK. SPIT IT OUT, MUDGE.
IN THE FIGHT, I THREW MY KNIFE AWAY,
NOT WANTING TO CUT A
MAN, YOU UNDERSTAND?
AND IT STRUCK ANOTHER MAN IN THE ARM.
I SAW THE BLOOD
DRIPPING,
AND I LOOKED DOWN AT MY HANDS LIKE THIS,
AND THEN, SUDDEN-LIKE, I RAN.
THEN I HAPPENED.
WHA HAPPENED?
I LOST MY SOUL.
YOU LOST WHAT?
MY WEEPING IMMORTAL SOUL, HARRY.
LIKE A NIGHTMARE.
LIKE A HAND REACHING
INTO MY CHES AND TEARING
SOMETHING OPEN.
A SHINY LITTLE SEED NO
BIGGER THAN A PINPOIN COME OUT OF HERE, AND
I GRABBED AT IT, AND...
AND IT DRIFTED AWAY
IN THE FOG.
COR BLIMEY!
NO WIRING OR NOTHING ATTACHED, MUDGIN?
NOT A THREAD.
NOT A COBWEB, EVEN.
IT WAS LIKE
A LITTLE FIREFLY.
I'M AWFUL GLAD
YOU'RE HERE, HARRY.
THIS IS MY
FAULT, TOO.
OH, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, HARRY.
IF A MAN LOSES
HIS SOUL,
THAT'S HIS OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
HOW LONG YOU GONNA
PUT UP WITH THIS LITTLE GUY?
HE'S BUG-EYES,
HE'S CUCKOO.
THAT AIN'T SO, GUS.
I'M AS RATIONAL
AS YOU ARE.
YOU GOTTA TAKE
IT INTO ACCOUN I SAW MY SOUL DISAPPEAR
UP POWELL STREET.
MAYBE IT HAPPENED
LIKE HE SAYS.
HE SURE LOOKS LIKE
ALL OF A SUDDEN
HE LOST HIS MAGNETO.
YOU FEEL KIND OF LIKE YOU
AIN'T GETTING THE JUICE, MUDGIN?
I DON' FEEL NOTHING-
ALL NUMB-LIKE
INSIDE.
AH, BALONEY!
YOU AIN'T GO A SOUL, MUDGIN.
NOBODY'S GO A SOUL.
SO HOW CAN YOU LOSE WHAT DON'T EXIST?
I SAW IT, GUS.
WELL, GO FIND
THE THING, THEN!
YOU OUGHT TO TAKE
THIS MATTER UP
WITH A GOOD CHURCH
OF ENGLAND REVEREND.
OH, A PREACHER
WOULDN'T KNOW!
WHY WOULDN'T HE
KNOW?
IT'S HIS BLOOMIN'
BUSINESS TO KNOW, ISN'T IT?
PREACHERS ONLY
KNOW ABOUT SOULS
THAT LEAVE
A DEAD BODY
AND GO STRAIGH TO HEAVEN OR HELL.
I BET A GOOD ELECTRICIAN
COULD TELL MUDGIN MORE.
MAYBE MUDGIN'S DEAD AND DON'T KNOW IT.
LEAVE HIM
ALONE, GUS.
ARE YOU
NUTS, TOO?
DON'T TELL ME YOU
BELIEVE HIS SCREWY TALK!
I DON'T BELIEVE
IN NOTHIN'.
OH, YOU GOTTA
BELIEVE IT, HARRY.
WE'RE ALL SHIPMATES.
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU I
HAD CANCER OR SOMETHING.
YOU WOULDN'T JUST LAUGH
IT OFF AND DITCH ME.
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO!
GO ON, BEAT IT!
YOU'VE IMPOSED ON
HARRY LONG ENOUGH.
I SAID LEAVE
HIM ALONE, GUS.
OK.
OH,
LOOK OUT, HARRY!
YOU'LL NEVER LEARN.
YOU STILL TELEGRAPH
THAT RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL
RIGHT. THEY'RE CLOSE FRIENDS.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER. YOU
GUYS TAKE CARE OF MUDGE.
NOW HARRY'S
SORE AT ME.
YOU SORE AT GUS,
HARRY?
NO, I LIKE GUS FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, GUS.
WHERE YOU GOING,
HARRY?
HARRY!
DON'T LEAVE ME!
HARRY! WAIT FOR ME!
I WOULDN'T FEEL SO BAD
IF I KNEW WHAT TO DO, HMM?
HE... HE WOULDN'T JUS PUT A GUY IN THE DOGHOUSE
AND LEAVE HIM
THERE.
HARRY. HARRY!
GOD'S ASKING ME TO KEEP MY PROMISES.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL MY FAULT!
OH, NO, I-I-
YEAH, YEAH. GO GET IT OFF YOUR MIND.
BUY YOURSELF
A DRINK.
IT AIN'T SAFE FOR
ME TO BE ALONE.
A MAN RUNNING AROUND
WITHOUT A SOUL?
HOLD IT.
WHERE'S LUCILLE? DON' SHE WORK HERE ANYMORE?
NO, SHE HAD
TOUGH LUCK.
FELL DOWNSTAIRS THE OTHER
NIGHT AND BROKE HER LEG.
I GOT HER ADDRESS HERE
SOMEPLACE. YOU WANT IT?
NOT WITH A BROKEN
LEG, I DON'T!
HARRY, COME HERE!
NOW WHAT?
LOOKIT!
"THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
IS ROOTED IN THE AGES."
MAYBE THEY KNOW ABOUT A CASE LIKE MINE.
YOU COME IN WITH ME
WHILE I ASK 'EM.
ME, GO IN THAT DUMP?
OH, BUT I CAN'T TALK
TO LIBRARY PEOPLE.
YOU'RE MY BOSUN. YOU
TALK FOR ME AT MAST.
YOU AIN'T AT MAST!
I AM SO AT MAST! I'M
UP BEFORE THE CAPTAIN!
THE REAL CAPTAIN.
AND THOSE GOOKS IN
THERE ARE GONNA HELP YOU?
WELL, THEY'RE SWELL EDUCATED.
EDUCATED PEOPLE MIGHT, HARRY.
OH, EDUCATED, HUH?
LOOKIT, HARRY. "READING
MAKETH A FULL MAN," IT SAYS.
FULL OF WHAT? FULL OF SAP
FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!
WHAT GROWS ON TREES?
DRIED PRUNES.
AND WHAT DO YOU GE FROM SAP AND PRUNES?
WELL, HARRY,
I ONLY SAID-
"AS STARS TO THE SAILOR
ARE BOOKS TO THE SCHOLAR."
AIN'T THA SWEET.
THEY KNOW ABOU SAILORS.
YEAH, BUT HARRY,
I JUST THOUGHT-
EDUCATED PEOPLE... THEY
DON'T BRAG ON BILLBOARDS,
THEY CHISEL THEIR
ADS IN GRANITE!
"KNOWLEDGE IS POWER." "BOOKS
ARE THE LEGACY OF TIME."
UH-OH. THERE'S THE TOPPER-
"WISDOM IS PEACE." HUH!
SO THEY'RE WISE.
SO THEY GOT PEACE.
YEAH, BUT HARRY-
COME ON, MUDGE.
WE'LL GO IN AND GET A
GREAT BIG HUNK OF WISDOM,
AND A NICE FA BELLYFUL OF PEACE.
I'll wait here
while you ask 'em.
IF THEY HAD ICE, WOULD
BE WONDERFUL FOR STIFFS.
FOLLOW ME, PAL.
YEAH. WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR 'EM?
YES?
CAN'T FIND IT.
PARDON?
THE TREE.
HUH?
THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE. COME IN,
IT SAYS, AND GET UNDER THE TREE.
WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?
THE NEXT BAR IS ABOUT A BLOCK
AND A HALF DOWN THE STREET.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
I KNOW WHERE ALL
THE BARROOMS ARE.
I THOUGHT I'D STOP
A MOMENT IN YOURS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU
GONNA SET 'EM UP?
WE'LL HEIST ONE
UNDER THE TREE,
AND GET DRUNK WITH
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE.
LOOK, MISTER, ARE YOU
GOING TO KEEP THIS UP?
BECAUSE IF SO, I'LL
HAVE TO CALL A GUARD.
OH, NO. NO, NO, MISS.
I TAKE IT ALL BACK.
I DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
I'M NOT LOOKING FOR
TROUBLE. I'M BRINGING IT IN.
I GOT A SICK SAILOR
WITH ME.
WHAT?
YEAH. YEAH, THAT GUY
OVER THERE.
HE'S SICK, AND HE'S
LOOKING FOR HELP.
PLEASE EXCUSE
HARRY, MISS.
HE'S DOING THIS
FOR ME.
YEAH, THAT'S
RIGHT, MUDGE.
TELL THE LADY
WHAT'S EATING YOU.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF SHE COULD HELP YOU.
SHE LOOKS PRETTY
SMART TO ME.
DID HARRY TELL YOU
WHAT WE WAS LOOKING FOR?
HE SAID
YOU WERE SICK.
WELL, NOT REALLY SICK,
MISS. YOU SEE, I-I-
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I LOST MY SOUL.
POPPED OUT OF HIS CHES AND LAMMED UP POWELL
STREET IN THE FOG.
IT DID. WE WAS WONDERING
WHETHER YOU COULD REFER US
TO A BOOK DEALING WITH
A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE.
YOU'RE A SAILOR?
YES, MISS.
MERCHANT MARINE?
YES, MISS.
IS HE?
YES, HE'S THE BOSUN, AND IF
YOU WAS EVER TORPEDOED, MISS,
YOU WOULDN'T SWAP HARRY
FOR NO BOSUN GOING.
WERE YOU TORPEDOED?
THE LAST TRIP.
AND YOU SAVED HIM?
HE'S NUTS.
YOU SEE, A TREE
GREW ON THE SHIP,
AND WE ALL SA AROUND AND READ.
OH, HARRY.
DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
SUPPOSE YOU TELL ME WHA YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, PLEASE.
I'M REALLY
RATHER BUSY.
YES. IT WAS LIKE
THIS, MISS.
WE WERE OUT THERE ON A
RAFT, AND ON THE SIXTH DAY,
I MADE THE LORD 4 PROMISES,
WHAT I'D DO IF HE SAVED US.
BUT I BROKE MY PROMISES,
AND I LOST MY SOUL.
UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU
GOT A BOOK AROUND HERE
THAT A SOUL MIGH WALK BACK ON?
WE'VE GOT SOME
BOOKS FOR YOU.
YOU HEAR THAT, HARRY?
SURE. TELLS YOU ALL ABOU THAT SOUL RACKET, HUH?
RIGHT. COME
WITH ME, PLEASE.
COME ON, HARRY.
WE'LL START HERE. THERE
ARE SOME EXCELLENT STUDIES:
ONE BY A SURGEON
IN THE BRITISH NAVY,
AND THIS ONE BY
AN AMERICAN COLONEL:
FACTS ON COMBA FATIGUE.
COMBAT FATIGUE?
SOUNDS GOOD.
YES, THE STRAIN
OF WAR, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES CAUSES
PSYCHONEUROSIS.
PSYCHONEUROSIS? THA SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
YOU SEE, MR. MUDGE, YOU'VE
HAD A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE.
YOU MADE PROMISES
YOU DIDN'T KEEP,
AND THAT MADE YOU
FEEL GUILTY,
SO THAT YOU IMAGINED
YOU LOST YOUR SOUL.
OH, NO, MISS.
I DIDN'T IMAGINE THAT.
I REALLY LOST IT,
IN THE FOG.
ON POWELL
STREET.
SHHHHHH!
WE'RE DISTURBING
THE READERS.
YOU MEAN THEY'RE
DISTURBING US!
HEY, PIPE DOWN,
YOU CLUCKS!
YOU KNOW, I'M NO OUT WITH YOU.
WHEN YOU GO, I STAY.
SO WHISPER,
WILL YOU PLEASE?
Harry, this nice lady
is trying to help me.
OK, OK.
I never whispered
before in my life.
How do I sound?
LOOK, MR. MUDGE,
TAKE THIS AND READ IT.
THIS... THIS PAGE HERE.
IT MAY HELP EXPLAIN YOUR PROBLEM.
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
YOU SEE THIS
SHELF HERE?
YEAH.
THEY'RE FUNNY
PICTURES.
FUNNY GIRL.
SAY, HARRY,
I AIN'T NEVER HEARD-
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
THE SOUL- A SYMPOSIUM OF MODERN THOUGHT.
GO TO IT.
YOU READ IT TO ME,
HARRY.
I AIN'T NEVER HAD
NO KNACK AT READING.
OK.
"THE SOUL,
OR PSYCHE,
"ALSO REFERRED TO
AS THE SPIRIT,
"THE SELF-SUBSTANCE,
THE ELAN VITAL,
"THE ETERNAL AND INDESTRUCTIBLE ESSENCE.
SEE FOOTNOTE 1-A."
HERE'S 1-A, HARRY.
"IT MUST BE
REMEMBERED
"THAT A LARGE BODY OF
CONTEMPORANEOUS THOUGH "DENIES THE
EXISTENCE OF A SOUL
"AND SCOFFS A MAN'S IMPORTANCE
OR SIGNIFICANCE
AS AN INDIVIDUAL."
SHHHHH!
SHUT UP! A GUY CAN'T HEAR
HIMSELF THINK IN HERE!
SHH! DO YOU WAN TO BE THROWN OUT?
I'M SORRY, MISS, BUT THIS BOOK
SAYS A MAN AIN'T GOT NO SOUL.
WELL, ONE MAN'S
OPINION... AND MR. MUDGE,
I AM HARDLY THE LAST WORD
ON WHATEVER IS TROUBLING YOU,
BUT I DO KNOW THAT A LO OF STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN.
PHENOMENA LIKE EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTIONS,
THOUGHT TRANSFERENCE, SUCH
AS RELIGIOUS MYSTICS REPORT.
MYSTICS?
WHAT RELIGIOUS
DENOMINATION ARE YOU?
ME? NOTHING. NONE AT ALL.
I AIN'T EVEN BEEN BAPTIZED.
OH.
PERHAPS IT WOULD HELP IF I
SENT YOU TO FATHER CASSIDY
OR THE REVEREND
MR. THOMPSON
OR MAYBE
A PSYCHIATRIST.
PSYCHIATRIST!
AND WHAT'S WRONG
WITH PSYCHIATRY?
MUDGE AIN'T A
DIAGRAM OR CHART!
CUT INTO HIM,
AND HE'LL BLEED!
HOW TENDER.
HOW PROFOUND.
PLEASE, MISS, I DIDN'T COME
IN HERE TO START A FIGHT.
NOR WILL I FORGE WHAT I'M OWING YOU
FOR YOUR GOOD
INTENTIONS, MISS.
YOU DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME,
LIKE MOST WOULD'VE DONE.
MAYBE THAT'S
THE ONLY HELP
A MAN IN MY CONDITION
CAN EXPECT.
JUST NOT TO BE
LAUGHED AT.
NOW I-I'LL BE GETTING
ALONG OUT OF HERE,
AND I'M HOPING,
FOR YOUR SAKE,
THAT HARRY WILL
DO THE SAME.
THANK YOU KINDLY,
AND IF I WASN'T IN THE
DOGHOUSE WITH THE LORD ALMIGHTY,
I'D BE ASKING HIM TO
GIVE YOU HIS BLESSING.
GREAT WORK.
SO LONG.
WELL, THE FUN'S OVER
IN MY TAVERN.
I HOPE
YOU ENJOYED IT.
HAD A WONDERFUL
TIME.
SOME TREE.
DON'T RUN INTO I ON YOUR WAY OUT.
SO LONG.
YEAH, YEAH,
I'LL BE CAREFUL,
AND YOU KNOW, THE
TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
THAT'S ROOTED
IN THE AGES-
TREAT THAT CAREFUL.
THEM AGES
GET YOU SO MUCH-
PSYCHONEUROSIS,
GUILT NEUROSIS,
CIRRHOSIS
OF THE LIVER-
YOU COULDN'T LIVE
WITHOUT 'EM!
IT WOULD BE TOUGH.
I'LL BET IT WOULD...
AND DON'T WORRY,
THERE THEY ARE,
AND AS PRETTY PARROTS COME
AND GO, YOU'RE A GOOD ONE.
I KNOW WHAT THOSE GUYS WERE
AFTER BETTER THAN YOU DO, PAL.
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE,
AND THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU
AND ME IS I KNOW IT AND YOU DON'T.
YOU'RE KIDDIN' YOURSELF,
AND GETTIN' AWAY WITH IT.
AIN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
ROTTEN.
THIS IS NO FUN.
NO, IT ISN'T.
KIDDING YOU GETS ME
NOTHIN', SISTER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YEAH.
WHAT DO I WANT?
THAT'S IT.
WHAT'S IT?
JUST "IT."
CAN I GO NOW?
SURE, YOU CAN GO.
THANKS.
THE TREE
IS ALL YOURS.
LET ME KNOW WHEN
YOU RUN INTO YOURS.
RUN INTO WHAT?
YOUR TREE-
THE "IT" TREE.
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
IT'S IT, AIN'T IT?
IT'S IT, AIN'T IT?
SOME WORD, "IT."
IN THE DICTIONARY, I BREAKS ALL RECORDS FOR USAGE:
A PERSONAL PRONOUN OF THE
THIRD PERSON OR NEUTER GENDER,
USED AS A SUBSTITUTE
FOR A NOUN;
OR REPRESENTING
SOMETHING POSSESSING SEX
WHEN SEX IS NO PARTICULARIZED OR CONSIDERED;
OR TO REFER TO SOME MATTER
NOT DEFINITELY CONCEIVED;
OR AS THE GRAMMATICAL
SUBJECT OF A CLAUSE,
SUCH AS "IT IS
BELIEVED HE IS DEAD."
"HE IS DEAD," IS AS
GENERALLY BELIEVED-
YOU CAN'T SMOKE
IN HERE!
I'LL BET YOU CAN'T.
I DON'T THINK YOU
COULD DIE IN HERE!
I THINK THEY CARRY YOU
IN AFTER YOU'RE DEAD.
TAKE A LOOK
AT THESE DODO BIRDS!
WHAT ARE THEY ALL
TIPTOEING ABOUT?
THE DEAD CAN'T WAKE
THE DEAD.
WELL, SO LONG.
MUCH OBLIGED
FOR TRYIN'.
SO LONG.
HELLO.
HELLO.
I WAS, UH,
TALKING TO HER.
OH.
YOU READY?
I'LL HURRY.
HO, HO, BOY! HOW YOU DON'T FIT IN HERE!
FRIEND
OF YOURS?
NO.
WHY DON'T I
FIT IN HERE?
IN THIS GRAVEYARD?
WHY, YOU'RE A LARK!
THERE'S A SONG
IN YOUR EYES,
AND THEY'RE
LIT WITH LIVIN'.
MISTER!
EVERYBODY DIED
ON THE VINE
AND WHAMBO!
IN COMES THE GRAPES.
SHH!
- SHH, SHH!
HA HA HA!
HELEN!
Oh, sorry.
How are you,
Helen?
Who are you?
Harry.
- Hiya, Harry.
Sit down.
HEY, HEY.
What do you do?
I'm a secretary.
What do you do?
I'm a sailor.
Oh, just
off a whaler?
Merchant marine.
Glad to meet you,
Helen.
Hi.
- When do we eat?
I'm eating
with Emily.
She Emily?
Uh-huh.
Hello, Emily.
EMILY,
MERCHANT MARINE.
WELL, THAT'S FINE.
I'VE SEEN YOU MEE SOME OFFICERS IN THE NAVY,
BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN
THIS EXUBERANCE BEFORE.
YOU HAD THE
SAME CHANCE, EMILY.
THEY DON'T KNOW IT'S US. LOOK AROUND.
HERE. I'M GOING
TO GET MY HA AND GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE I'M FIRED.
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH
TO GET YOUR HAT, EMILY.
OH, BOY,
HE'S IN AGAIN.
HE'S OUT AGAIN, YOU MEAN. GOOD NIGHT.
JUST A MINUTE.
WOULD YOU DO ME
THE HONOR TO DINE WITH ME
- UH, BOTH OF YOU?
NO, THANK YOU. I WISH
YOU'D STOP PUSHING ME.
WELL,
LOOK, GIRLS, LOOK-
I- I'M A SAILOR, AND I'M MAROONED,
AND IN YOUR TOWN.
NOW, IF YOU WAS IN MY TOWN,
I WOULDN'T TURN YOU DOWN.
OH, LET HIM
EAT WITH US, EM.
HELEN, NO.
ALL RIGHT, AND I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED.
I GOT NOWHERE TO GO,
AND AFTER TALKING TO YOU TWO NICE GIRLS,
DO YOU THINK THERE ARE ANY
OTHER NICE GIRLS IN THIS TOWN?
HE'S TALKIN'
AWFUL NICE NOW.
YEAH, AIN' I TALKIN' NICE NOW?
AWFUL NICE.
SEE WHAT HELEN SAYS? I'M
TALKIN' AWFUL NICE NOW.
DO YOU WANT HIM TO GO WITH US, REALLY?
I THINK
IT'D BE FUN.
I DON' THINK SO.
WELL, IT'S
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
YOU'D BETTER NO DO ANY TALKING.
LET HELEN
DO IT FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL JUS STAND HERE AND HOPE.
NOW, SEE HOW SWEE HE CAN BE?
WELL, THIS IS GETTING DULL
ENOUGH. IF THE ONLY WAY TO END IT-
I'M JUST WHISTLING
FOR A CAB, PALS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY ACCOUNT.
I THINK I DO.
WELL, HE'LL KNOW YOU JUS CAME ALONG TO CHAPERONE US.
I THINK HE KNOWS
THAT ALREADY.
WHY'D HE INVITE YOU?
YOUR FRIEND HAS A RATHER
COMPLICATED MIND FOR A SAILOR.
HOW WE DOIN'?
EMILY, YOU KNOW WHA HE'S BEEN TELLIN' ME?
HE'S BEEN TALKIN' SCIENTIFIC.
I'LL BET.
HE SAYS IF A DRUNKEN MAN STAGGERS,
HE ALWAYS
STAGGERS-
WHERE'D YOU SAY HE STAGGLES
- ER, STAGGERS?
TRUE NORTH, EMILY.
TRUE NORTH.
TRUE NORTH! ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?
TERRIFIC.
THAT'S RIGHT,
EMILY.
ONCE UPON A TIME, SOME
GUYS GOT LOST IN THE JUNGLE,
SO THEY ALL CHIPPED IN THEIR HOOCH,
GOT ONE OF
THE GUYS DRUNK,
AND MADE A COMPASS
OUT OF HIM.
ISN'T IT CUTE?
I CAN'T STAND IT.
THAT'S ONE FACT I
DIDN'T GET OUT OF A BOOK.
OH, EMILY, WHERE'D
YOU RATHER BE THAN RIGHT HERE?
DON'T PUSH ME,
DARLING.
NOW, IT'S
BEEN VERY NICE,
BUT AS WE HAVE
TO GET UP TOMORROW,
SHALL WE, UH,
START SAILING FOR HOME?
OH, I DON'T WAN TO GO HOME.
DON'T YOU ALWAYS GET UP
IN THE MORNING, EMILY?
WE DON'T USUALLY
GET UP SUNDAYS.
TOMORROW'S SUNDAY,
YOU KNOW.
I DIDN'T KNOW.
DON'T YOU KNOW SUNDAY WHEN IT COMES?
ON LAND, EVERY DAY'S
A SUNDAY FOR A SAILOR.
OH. EMILY'S GOT A LITTLE
FARM SHE'S TRYING TO SELL.
SOME PEOPLE ARE COMING
TO SEE IT TOMORROW.
YOU GOING
TO HELP HER?
YES.
YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU,
SO YOU CAN HELP HER?
OH, DOESN'T HE PUT THINGS JUST DARLING?
EMILY, WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME?
I'M CRAZY
ABOUT THIS GUY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ME?
I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER FEL LIKE THIS BEFORE.
MEET A MAN, FALL FLAT ON MY
FACE. YOU ASHAMED OF ME, EMILY?
NO, NO.
A LITTLE ASHAMED?
A LITTLE.
SHE'S ASHAMED
OF ME, HARRY,
BUT EMILY
DON'T LIKE MEN.
DO MEN LIKE HER?
DO THEY, EMILY?
NO.
THEY'D LIKE HER
IF SHE'D LET 'EM,
WOULDN'T THEY,
HARRY?
I DON'T KNOW.
AIN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?
OH, COME ON,
HELEN-
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT'S GOT TO BE DECIDED.
YEAH, SHE'S
GOOD-LOOKING ENOUGH.
THE TROUBLE WITH EMILY
IS SHE DON'T WANT MUCH.
I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU MEAN. DO YOU?
YEAH, YOU'RE
A MILD GIRL.
OH.
GOT A FELLA?
NO.
WANT ONE?
NOT ESPECIALLY.
WELL, THAT'S GOT SOMETHING
TO DO WITH WHAT I MEAN.
ALONG WITH THAT, YOU'RE
KIND OF INDEPENDENT.
YOU BET I AM!
OH, DON'T FIGHT WITH HER. FIGHT WITH ME.
I MEAN,
LOOK AT ME.
I'M JUST CRAZY
ABOUT THIS GUY.
OH, YOU'RE LUCKY.
YOU GOT A SMART FELLA.
HE'LL TEACH YOU HOW
TO ROLL A BARREL OF OIL.
WILL YOU, HARRY?
HOW DO YOU ROLL
A BARREL OF OIL?
I'LL TELL YOU.
UH, DID YOU GIRLS
EVER TAKE A BATH?
HUH?
I MEAN, DID YOU
EVER NOTICE
HOW THE WATER
RUNS OUT OF THE BATHTUB,
HOW THE WATER
GOES DOWN THE DRAIN?
NO, I NEVER DID. I GE RIGHT OUT OF THE BATHTUB.
I DON'T LIKE
FEELING WET.
HEH HEH. I THOUGH MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE
SAT THERE
THINKING ONCE.
OH, NO, I CAN'T DRY MYSELF FAST ENOUGH,
BUT EMILY SITS THERE,
TILL THE WATER'S ALL GONE.
HMM?
IS THAT SO?
HELEN!
GREAT STUFF,
THAT BRANDY!
WHAT'D I SAY?
LET THE PROFESSOR
SAY IT.
HE WAS GOING TO TELL
US SOME... DISCOVERY.
OH, WHO CARES? HOW'S THE BRANDY WHIRL?
HEY, WAITER!
WAITER!
NOTHING DOING, HELEN.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
OH, LEAVE HER
ALONE. COME ON.
ANOTHER LITTLE DRINK
WON'T KILL YOU, EITHER.
I'M TAKING HER
HOME, SEE?
WANT TO BET ON THAT?
I'LL BET ON THAT-
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT ALL NIGHT LONG.
WHAT A PARTY!
HEY, THERE'S
HARRY NOW! HIYA, HARRY!
HEY!
HOW ARE YOU?
HEY! HIYA, GUS!
COME ON OVER, BOYS!
I WANT YOU TO MEE SOME FRIENDS OF MINE-
NICE AND MILD,
RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY.
HIYA, GUS!
HIYA, HARRY!
HIYA, BOYS!
HOW YA DOIN'?
I GOT A SPARE TOMATO FOR YOU, BOYS.
THIS IS EMILY. SHAKE HANDS WITH EMILY.
HIYA, GUS!
HELLO, HANDSOME!
HELLO!
HOW ARE YA,
GOOD-LOOKIN'?
THEY'RE
LITTLE KIDDERS.
HONEY, I'M ALL WARMED UP
AND READY TO TAKE OFF.
ANY OF YOU GUYS
WANT TO BUZZ THE FIELD?
SURE!
NOW, BIG BOYS
GO FIRST.
OPEN UP
THE THROTTLE, BIG BOY.
I FLY ON HIGH OCTANE.
ANY OF YOU WANT TO SHARE
THE RIDE, JUST CUT IN.
OH, BOY!
HEH HEH HEH...
EMILY!
I WANT A DANCE
WITH EMMY.
COME ON, GUS! LET'S HAVE A DANCE-
OH, HO HO!
HIYA, MUDGE!
HIYA, TOOTS!
YES, MA'AM!
COME ON!
HEY,
WHAT IS THIS?
LADIES FIRST!
STOP HER, HARRY,
STOP HER!
SHE'S A GONE NUT!
GENTLEMEN! GENTLEMEN!
COME ON, GUS.
I GET A DANCE.
GET HER, HARRY!
GET HER!
OH!
HEY!
EMILY! EMILY!
HAVE YOU
GOT A MATCH?
OH, A BEAUTIFUL THING
IT WAS, MISS!
WHAT?
OH, HELLO, MUDGE.
I'VE BEEN IN A FIGHT.
LIKE THE VERY BATTLE
OF THE BOIL, IT WAS.
HE CALLED ME MILD!
A MILD TOMATO!
AH! LIKE QUEEN DEIRDRE
HERSELF, YOU WERE.
WAS I, MUDGE?
AYE! QUEEN DEIRDRE FIGHTING
THE BLACK PRINCE SINGLE-HANDED.
CRACKED HIS SKULL WITH A
SPIKED SHILLELAGH, SHE DID,
AND GAVE HIM
THE HEAVE-HO,
FROM THE TOP STORY OF
DUBLIN CASTLE! HEH HEH!
WHAT HAND DONE
THE DEED, MISS EMILY?
WELL...
I- I GUESS IT WAS
MY RIGHT HAND. I...
OH.
IT'S A GREA PRIVILEGE.
EMILY!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S GO INTO YOU? COME ON!
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE IDEA,
STARTING A RIOT,
AND IN
A PUBLIC PLACE?
LOT OF WOMEN
PRESENT.
SOMEBODY
MIGHT HAVE GOT HURT.
WHAT GOT INTO YOU?
YOU'VE GONE NUTS!
IF THAT'S LIFE,
I'LL TAKE THE LIBRARY.
HERE'S THE CAB. COME ON,
EMILY. GET IN. COME ON!
GET IN THERE!
I'D LIKE TO FIND THE
GUY THAT SLUGGED ME.
I'M GOING
BACK IN THERE.
NO, HARRY!
GET IN THE CAB!
COME ON!
IT'S JUST A SMALL
LITTLE PLACE, BUT IT-
JUST BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO,
AND BOTH, WOMEN.
OH, EMILY,
I WANT HIM TO COME UP.
THANK YOU FOR A CHARMING
EVENING, MR. SAILOR.
IF WE DON'T SEE YOU
AGAIN BEFORE YOU SAIL,
FAIR WINDS AND BLUE SKIES AND ALL THAT.
OH, WHY
CAN'T HE, EMILY?
HELEN SAYS GOOD NIGHT.
GIVE UP, BUDDY.
YOU'RE BRUSHED.
YOU KNOW WHA I OUGHTA DO?
I OUGHTA GO UP THERE
AND TAKE THAT DAME APART.
SHE'S THE FRESHEST DAME
I'VE EVER MET.
AH, SHE'S THE KIND OF
DAME, YOU GO UP THERE,
SHE'LL CRACK YOU OVER
THE HEAD WITH A BOTTLE.
HMM?
I AIN'T KIDDIN'.
YOU COULDN'T GET ME UP
THERE WITH A DERRICK.
SHE WORKS IN
THE LIBRARY, TOO.
THERE YOU ARE.
YOU CAN'T TRUST NOBODY.
MMM. OH!
OH!
THAT BAD?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN' DRINK SO MUCH.
NO, ALL YOU DID
WAS FIGHT.
OH! THAT SAILOR!
HEELS HAVE A MORBID
FASCINATION FOR YOU.
MORBID FASCINATION
ARE YOUR WORDS.
I JUST THINK
THEY'RE CUTE.
MR. HARRY PATTERSON
WAS EXCESSIVELY CUTE.
IS THAT BAD?
YES.
I GUESS I'M A POOR
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
HE JUST STRUCK ME AS BEING
KIND OF A HEEL IN A CUTE WAY.
I FEEL RATHER
SORRY FOR HIM.
SORRY?
YES. JUST AS I'D FEEL SORRY
FOR ANY ANIMAL THAT'S...
BEING TORMENTED IN A-
IN A TRAP OR A MAZE,
AND IF YOU TRY TO HELP
HIM, HE'LL TURN ON YOU
AND TEAR YOUR
HEART OUT.
WHY SHOULD HE
DO THAT?
'CAUSE HE'S AFRAID
YOU'LL TEAR HIS HEART OUT.
WELL, LET'S
FORGET ABOUT IT.
OH, EMILY!
BRRR!
HA HA! WE'RE GOING
TO THE FARM, REMEMBER?
OH!
OOH...
HI, HELEN!
TELL EMILY
THE SKIES ARE BLUE
AND THE WINDS
ARE FAIR!
EMILY,
HE'S COMING RIGHT UP!
WATCH HIM
GO RIGHT DOWN.
BUT, EMILY, WE'VE GO TO ACT POLITE TO HIM.
I'LL ACT POLITE.
NOW, LOOK HERE,
MR. SAILOR-
YOU KNOW, I SAYS TO MYSELF,
I SAYS, "HARRY, OLD BOY,
"IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF MY
GIRL'S A LITTLE WEARY THIS MORNING,
"SO WHY DON'T I HIRE A BUS
TO RIDE THEM OUT TO THE FARM?
AFTER ALL, THEY'RE YOUR PALS.
THEY'D DO AS MUCH FOR YOU."
OH, LOOK AT HER
- TOUGH NIGHT, WAKES UP BEAUTIFUL.
MR. SAILOR?
MM-HMM?
LET'S GE SOMETHING STRAIGHT.
YEAH,
LET'S DO THAT.
NICE LITTLE PLACE
YOU GOT HERE.
TODAY'S SUNDAY, AND ALL
DAYS AREN'T SUNDAY TO ME.
ALSO, THAT LITTLE
EXHIBITION LAST NIGH WAS MY FIRST AND LAS PERFORMANCE. GOOD-BYE.
SHE'S ALWAYS SAYING GOOD-BYE TO ME!
NOW, LOOK HERE! IF YOU
TWO DON'T STOP FIGHTING,
I'M LEAVING...
TO GET READY!
HELEN'S A FUNNY
GIRL, AIN'T SHE?
YES, HELEN'S A VERY
FUNNY GIRL, BUT I AIN'T.
HEY, HEY, WAIT!
THAT CURL ON THE BACK OF YOUR NECK-
IT CURLS
THE WRONG WAY!
OH, IT DOES?
YEAH, HERE-
LET ME LOOK.
WELL, I'LL BE-
IT CURLS
COUNTERCLOCKWISE!
IS THAT BAD?
THAT SHOULDN'T BE.
SMOKE, VINES, AND WATER TWIST CLOCKWISE
IN THE NORTHERN
HEMISPHERE, SEE?
A WOMAN'S HAIR, TOO.
REALLY?
BUT SOUTH
OF THE EQUATOR,
A GIRL'S HAIR CURLS
COUNTERCLOCKWISE,
FROM RIGH TO LEFT, SEE?
WELL, PERHAPS I'M IN
THE WRONG HEMISPHERE.
HMM! THAT CURL
SURE CROSSES ME UP!
OH, YOUR ORIGINAL
RESEARCH WAS WRONG.
NO, NO, NO-
WHERE'S
YOUR BATHROOM?
COME IN HERE.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
IS THAT CURL NATURAL
IN YOUR HAIR?
GET OUT OF HERE,
PLEASE!
Y- YOU JUST DIDN'T TRAIN IT THA WAY TO BE CONTRARY?
OOH! WHO'S GOING
TO TAKE A BATH?
NO, NO! NO BATH,
HONEY-SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT.
COME HERE.
BEND OVER.
LET ME LOOK AT THE BACK OF YOUR NECK.
WHAT IS THIS, A BOOBY TRAP OR SOMETHING?
NO, NO, NO-
THERE, YOU SEE?
HER HAIR
CURLS CLOCKWISE.
NOW, WATCH
THE WATER WHIRL.
SEE?
LEFT TO RIGHT, SEE?
EVERYTHING NORTH
OF THE EQUATOR
IS LEFT TO RIGH BUT YOU.
I'M SO SORRY.
THAT SURE
CROSSES ME UP.
I HAD IT DOPED OUT THAT THE
GIMMICK IS LIKE TWO CLOCKS,
RUNNING OPPOSITE
TO ONE ANOTHER.
THE GIMMICK?
YEAH, YEAH. THE WORLD,
HONEY-TWO CLOCKS.
OH, THAT'S CUTE!
BUT SHE'S GOT A
SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE CURL.
YOU DEAD SURE YOU
DIDN'T TRAIN IT THAT WAY?
QUITE SURE,
MR. ARISTOTLE.
WELL, WHA DO YOU KNOW?
I'VE BEEN IN A LOT OF BATHTUBS,
BUT I NEVER WATCHED HOW THE WATER RAN.
DID YOU, EMILY?
NO.
GET IN
THE TUB, EMILY.
OH, THAT WAS A VERY SHOCKING
REMARK. I DON'T BLAME EMILY.
YOU WEREN' SHOCKED.
MMM, NOT IN HERE.
HMM?
AFTER ALL, YOU'LL GE ME IN BAD WITH EMILY.
OH.
I'M JUST CRAZY
FOR THE OCEAN.
IT'S SO
KIND OF SIMPLE.
SIMPLE AND DUMB.
BUT IN
A CUTE WAY, HARRY.
I MEAN, ONE LITTLE WAVE PILES
ON TOP OF THE OTHER LITTLE WAVE,
AND THE FISH
JUST SWIM AROUND.
WHAT MAKES I SO BLACK OUT?
TOO MANY WOMEN HAVE BEEN CRYING INTO IT.
OH...
YEAH, WOMEN CRY
IN THE DARK.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE OCEAN BLACK.
HASN'T HE GO THE WEIRDEST IDEAS?
PATTERSON
AND EINSTEIN.
I DON'T CARE FOR THE OCEAN
WHEN IT LOOKS SO BLACK.
WELL, THAT'S
EASILY FIXED.
HOW?
WELL, JUST BAIL
ALL THE TEARS
BACK INTO ALL THE WOMEN
WHO HAVE EVER CRIED.
NOW, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
A BRILLIANT THOUGHT.
THE TRUTH IS, IT'S THE
MEN WHO DO ALL THE CRYING.
MORE TRIPE
OUT OF BOOKS!
YOU TWO START FIGHTIN'
AGAIN, I'LL JUMP OUT.
SHE STARTED IT.
OH, I WON'T SAY
ANOTHER WORD.
THANKS.
CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLEY
DING DING DING
WENT THE BELL
THERE IT IS,
HARRY.
HMM.
EMILY, WAKE UP.
WE'RE HERE.
NOT BAD. HOW'D YOU
GET AHOLD OF IT, EMILY?
MY FOLKS LEFT IT TO ME-THE
OLD HOMESTEAD, YOU KNOW?
TURN HERE, HARRY,
TURN HERE.
IT'S JUS A HEADACHE, HARRY.
I'VE BEEN AFTER EM A LONG
TIME TO SELL THE THING.
WHO'S BUYING IT?
I PUT AN AD IN THE PAPER
SAYING I'D BE OUT TODAY
AND I HAD ONE TELEPHONE
CALL FROM A MR. BUCKLEY.
WELL, LOOK
- THAT MUST BE THE BUCKLEYS NOW.
READY MONEY!
A NICE, QUICK SALE!
MR. BUCKLEY?
YES. MISS SEARS?
I'M SORRY
I'M LATE.
NOT AT ALL.
WE LOOKED AROUND,
BUT IT ISN' QUITE WHAT WE WANT.
OH, THE PLACE
LOOKS SHABBY,
BUT PEOPLE WITH TASTE COULD
MAKE THINGS VERY CHARMING.
YES, YES, IT DOES
HAVE POSSIBILITIES.
MISS SEARS,
MRS. BUCKLEY.
MISS SEARS.
I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD
COME, MRS. BUCKLEY.
I WANTED YOU
TO SEE THE HOUSE.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME. WHAT PRICE YOU ASKIN', EMILY?
OH, WHY, 8,500.
IT'S 10 ACRES AND ALL
FIT FOR CULTIVATION.
WHAT? WHY, IT'S A STEAL AT THAT PRICE.
MR. AND MRS. BUCKLEY,
MISS MELOHN, MR. PATTERSON.
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU PEOPLE EVER DONE ANY DIRT FARMING?
OH, NO. WE JUST WAN A PLACE FOR THE WEEKEND.
YES. BUILD A POOL, KEEP
A FEW HORSES, AND...
WELL, THEN YOU GO NO PROBLEMS AT ALL.
SLAP ON
A LITTLE PAINT,
HIRE A COUPLE GUYS, CLEAN
OFF THE RATTLESNAKES,
FILL UP
THE GOPHER HOLES-
RATTLESNAKES!
WHY, RATTLESNAKES IN
CALIFORNIA? HOW SILLY!
HELEN, HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN A SNAKE ON THIS FARM?
WELL, MAYBE IT WAS TEXAS
I WAS THINKING OF.
YEAH, YEAH, TEXAS.
WELL, WE'LL THINK IT OVER
AND LOOK AROUND A BIT.
THANK YOU, MISS SEARS.
I'LL CALL YOU.
YES.
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW.
THANK YOU.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK?
THERE'S ONLY ONE
SNAKE ON THIS FARM.
AW, THEY WASN' GONNA BUY.
WHY, IT'D BE A CRIME TO SELL A
FARM LIKE THIS FOR A DUDE RANCH.
YES, SIR! GOOD,
RICH DIRT! SMELL IT!
WELL, YOU COULD
GROW FOOD HERE,
NOT A CROP OF FAT DAMES,
TORTURIN' HORSES,
WASTIN' WATER
IN A FANCY POOL!
YES, SIR! GOOD, RICH DIR THAT AIN'T DOIN' ITS JOB!
IF YOU'RE
SO FOND OF DIRT,
YOU CAN BUY THIS FARM
AT A BIG BARGAIN.
SAY, THAT'S
AN IDEA, HARRY.
OH, NO, NOT ME.
I'M SHIPPIN' OUT.
THIS IS A PROPOSITION FOR SOME GUY
WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED, SETTLE DOWN,
AND HAVE
A LOT OF KIDS.
WELL, THA COULDN'T BE YOU.
WHEN ARE YOU
SHIPPIN' OUT, HARRY?
I DON'T GO TO SEA
UNTIL MY MONEY'S SPENT.
PRETTY GOOD BARN.
ANY HAY IN IT?
NO.
ISN'T IT SWEET?
MMM.
HUH, HARRY?
MY GOODNESS,
EM...
STUFFY!
AFTER THAT LIBRARY,
HOW WOULD SHE KNOW?
NICE, HOMEY FOLKS.
NOT YOURS, EMILY?
YES, MINE. AUNTS,
UNCLES, AND GRANDMA.
AND IT ALL BOILED
DOWN TO YOU, HUH?
MMM MMM!
HEY, GOT A KITCHEN.
YES, SIR...
MMM!
GOT AN ICEBOX, TOO.
YEP, PLENTY
OF NOTHING IN IT.
T'AIN'T BAD, EMILY.
NOT BAD.
WHAT DO YOU GO UPSTAIRS?
THE BEDROOMS.
WELL, LET'S
TAKE A LOOK AT THEM.
HEY!
WAIT FOR ME!
HELLO!
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
MMM!
HMM HMM.
HEY, DOWNSTAIRS!
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
WHAT?
THIS BIG PILE
OF FEATHERS!
THAT'S THE BED
I WAS BORN IN.
SOME BED.
OH, I LOVE I HERE, EMILY. I LOVE IT!
DON'T YOU, HARRY?
YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S OK. IT'S SWELL.
EMILY, YOU KNOW
WHAT WE COULD DO?
YES, I KNOW...
BUT I HAVE TO WORK
IN THE MORNING.
I HAVE A JOB
IN THE LIBRARY.
WELL, I WORK, TOO,
DON'T I?
WE COULD LEAVE EARLY IN THE
MORNING AND MAKE IT EASY.
MM-HMM.
I HAVE AN IDEA I'VE
ALREADY BEEN OUTVOTED.
MOST SUSPICIOUS GIRL
I EVER RAN INTO.
IF WE'RE STAYING,
I CAN COOK.
YOU CAN COOK, YEAH,
BUT WHAT?
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL GO TO TONY'S.
HE'LL BE OPEN.
YOU GET SOME WOOD
FOR THE STOVE.
I'LL DRIVE YOU
IN MY BUS.
I'LL GE THE WOOD.
I'D RATHER WALK.
GOT ANY DOUGH?
DON'T PUT YOURSELF OUT.
DON'T WORRY.
HEY! NOW, DON'T YOU TWO
GET TO FIGHTING AGAIN!
YOU BEEN TO NAPLES?
YEAH,
I BEEN THERE, TONY.
BEAUTIFUL
- GIRLS BEAUTIFUL. EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL.
AH, BEAUTIFUL,
YES, AND NO FOG!
GOTTA THE BLUE SEAS
THERE.
A'BLUE, A'BLUE
A'BLUE BLUE!
NO MEAT?
NO MEAT.
NO MEAT. WELL,
THAT'S ALL THEN, TONY.
WELL, UH...
THAT'S A... BEAUTIFUL $1.45, MISS EMILY.
$1.45?
HOLD IT, EMILY.
HOLD IT.
UH, TONY, YOU EVER, UH, ROLL 'EM, TONY?
UH, ROLL YOU DOUBLE
OR NOTHIN', HUH?
OK, OK!
NO, NO, TONY.
MY PAL.
OH, MISS EMILY MY FRIEND, MISS EMILY.
I JUSTA SAY, "NAPLES!" NEVER LOSES.
HOW MANY ROLL?
ONE ROLL.
- OK!
OK?
OK.
HO HO! LOVELY.
NAPLES!
NO NAPLES!
NAPLES
DONE YOU WRONG, PAL.
HEH HEH.
OK, OK, MISTER.
BEAUTIFUL A'DICE!
BEAUTIFUL!
OK, EMILY.
COME ALONG.
GOOD-BYE, TONE.
GOOD-BYE,
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE, TONY.
GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE.
SEE YOU.
TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S A'BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL...
THIEVERY,
PLAIN THIEVERY.
SCIENCE.
SUCH A NICE
LITTLE MAN, TOO.
SHH!
WHAT'S WRONG?
IT'S A CHICKEN.
OH, WHAT OF IT?
GOES GREA WITH MACARONI.
YOU THINK FARMER LUDLOW'S GOING
TO ROLL DICE FOR A CHICKEN-
I'M NOT ROLLING DICE WITH
FARMER LUDLOW. DON'T WORRY.
WELL, HE'S NOT GOING
TO SELL HIS CHICKENS.
HE'S CRAZY
ABOUT HIS CHICKENS.
LET'S TAKE
A PEEK AT 'EM.
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING
TO STEAL A CHICKEN FROM HIM-
I JUST SAID
TAKE A PEEK AT 'EM.
CHICKENS ARE SURE
DOING NICE ON THAT CORN, EFFY.
WELL, YOU CAN
GIVE 'EM ALL MY SHARE.
I DON'T KNOW
WHY CORN EVER GROWS!
Mrs. Ludlow
doesn't like corn.
And I don't like
Mrs. Ludlow.
Mean?
Mean. Mmm mmm!
Mr. Ludlow?
Mmm mmm!
Mean.
Mmm.
Oh!
Can you imitate
a rooster?
Now, look here!
If you think-
Can you imitate
a rooster?
I think so.
I- I never tried,
but if
Farmer Ludlow-
Never mind
Farmer Ludlow.
Make like
a rooster.
What for?
Want to catch us
a hen.
Well, I bet
it won't work, but...
here goes.
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
I thought you said
we'd catch us a hen.
We will, but
hens are realists.
No hen would come running
for a rooster she can't see.
What'd you do
that for?
That line
hypnotizes him.
That's why some people stay in ruts.
There's a line like that
on the library floor.
Stick with
your chickens.
OK. Now, here's
a rooster in a rut.
He wanted
war and glory,
so he came out here to
fight another rooster.
A rooster's got
imagination, see?
That's why that corny
imitation of yours fooled him.
Now make
like a hen, Emily.
Oh, no, now we really
have a rooster.
I should
imitate a rooster.
Nope.
Make like a hen.
Oh, all right, Sailor.
I'll prove you wrong.
YOU SEE?
IT DOESN' MAKE SENSE.
IF SHE WAS GOING TO
CHASE AFTER THIS ROOSTER,
WHY SHOULDN'T I HAVE
MADE ROOSTER NOISES?
NO HEN WANTS A ROOSTER
UNLESS SHE'S AFRAID
SOME OTHER HEN'S
GOING TO GET HIM!
WHAT'D YOU DO
THAT FOR?
WHAT? OH, PULLETS
ARE BETTER EATIN'.
BESIDES, I COULD
NEVER KILL A ROOSTER.
LIFE MEANS
TOO MUCH TO HIM.
MAKE LIKE A HEN
SOME MORE.
OH!
AAH!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE CHICKENS?!
AIN'T NOTHIN' THE
MATTER WITH THEM CHICKENS.
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH
THOSE CHICKENS, I TELL YOU!
GET MY GUN!
THEM DOGS AGAIN!
OH!
OH!
Harry! Harry!
OK, Emily?
OK.
Shh...
If he comes closer,
I'll trip him!
No, no, no!
You take one leg, and
I'll take the other!
You're crazy.
He's gone.
Come on. Let's get
out of here.
WHAT'S ALL
THE SHOOTIN' FOR?
OH, HELEN!
WE GOT CHICKENS!
WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, LOOK AT YOU!
OLD MAN WHAT'S-HIS-NAME
TOOK A SHOT AT US!
HE DID?
WE HAD LOTS MORE,
BUT THEY GOT AWAY!
WAS IT FUN?
OH, WAS IT!
HA HA!
OF COURSE, WE'LL GO BACK AND
PAY HIM FOR THEM, WON'T WE?
HELEN,
MY OLD PAL, HELEN!
HARRY, HARRY!
OH, I MISSED YOU!
DID YOU
MISS ME, PAL?
OH, BROTHER,
I MISSED YOU!
HELEN, DO YOU KNOW WHA YOU CAN DO WITH A ROOSTER?
YOU CAN DRAW A LINE
AND HYPNOTIZE HIM!
WE GOT MACARONI!
GOES GOOD WITH CHICKEN!
YOU DID?
- MM-HMM.
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
AND ON THAT FARM-
HE SAID,
"MAKE LIKE A HEN,"
AND SO I SAID...
WITH A CHICK-CHICK HERE
AND A CHICK-CHICK THERE
HERE A CHICK,
THERE A CHICK
EVERYWHERE
A CHICK-CHICK
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
OH! AND ON THAT FARM
HE HAD SOME DUCKS
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
WITH A QUACK QUACK HERE
AND A QUACK QUACK THERE
HERE A QUACK,
THERE A QUACK
EVERYWHERE
A QUACK QUACK
OLD MacDONALD
HAD A FARM
EE-YI-EE-YI-OH
WAS YOU EVER
MARRIED, HELEN?
ALMOST, ONCE.
WHAT BROKE IT UP?
OH, WE GOT TIRED OF
EACH OTHER. I DON'T KNOW.
SURE, LIKE
EVERYTHING ELSE.
IT ALL ENDS NOWHERE.
DON'T YOU BELIEVE
IN MARRIAGE AT ALL?
NO. DULL.
GEE, YOU SAY THA LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
I'LL SAY I MEAN IT,
AND I AIN'T JUS PICKIN' ON MARRIAGE.
I MEAN ANYTHING THA STARTS OUT EXCITING, SEE?
JUST LEAKS
ITSELF TO DEATH.
ALL THE ZIP,
ALL THE... EVERYTHING.
YOU TELL ME ONE THING
THAT STAYS EXCITING.
JUST ONE.
I HATE TO THINK.
YEAH.
WELL, LET'S DON'T.
LET'S JUST-
IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU
CAN'T THINK ON LAND, HELEN.
YOU GOT TO
BE OUT THERE.
WHAT'S OUT THERE?
THE SEA...
IT'S THE ONLY ROAD THERE
IS THAT LEADS TO IT.
WHAT'S IT?
IT?
IT'S JUST IT.
I KNOW WHAT "IT" IS.
WHAT?
THIS.
I THINK THE TIME HAS
COME FOR ME TO RETIRE.
IT'S EARLY, EMILY.
IS IT?
I WOULDN'T KNOW IT.
EVERYTHING LEAKS
TO DEATH, HE SAYS.
IT LOOKED FOR AWHILE
AS IF TODAY NEVER WOULD.
THE DULLEST DAY
I EVER SPENT IN MY LIFE.
WHY, EMILY, THAT DOESN'T SPEAK
VERY WELL FOR PRESENT COMPANY.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN I THAT WAY. IT'S JUST THAT I-
I'M SORRY FOR EMILY
- NICE GIRL, DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS.
OF COURSE, YOU DO.
THE SEA'S
THE ONLY ROAD TO IT.
MY OLD FRIEND, "IT."
I LOVE THE WAY HELEN
PUTS IT. WHAT IS "IT"?
WHY, EMILY, YOU
SOUND CROSS, DEAR.
WHAT ABOUT?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I... EVERYTHING'S BEEN SO PLEASANT.
OK, I'LL CALL IT A DAY!
I'LL GO UP AND DREAM OF
THE SEA, THE ROAD TO "IT."
OH, TO HEAR A BIG,
GROWN MAN TALK OF "IT!"
IT'S SO SILLY!
NOBODY'S ASKING YOU
ANY OPINION, YOU KNOW.
DID I SAY ANYONE
WAS ASKING FOR-
EMILY!
AND I'M NO ASKING FOR YOURS!
DON'T YOU SIT THERE AND SAY
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!
HOT AIR! YOU COULD
START A FURNACE!
YOU'RE NOTHING BU A FIRST-CLASS SOAPBOX!
EMILY! SHE NEVER
TALKED LIKE THIS!
WHAT'S THE MATTER, PAL?
I THOUGHT WE MADE UP.
I DID, TOO!
I THOUGHT TH-THAT-
IN THE FIRST PLACE, WE
HAD NOTHING TO MAKE UP.
I SEEM IRRITATED? I SUPPOSE I
THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTH TALKING TO,
AND WHAT I HEARD-
I'VE HEARD NOTHING!
LIFE IS DULL!
WHAT NEWS!
AND THE BRILLIAN SUMMARY?
THE ANSWER DWELLS
ACROSS THE SEA!
YOU'RE A DOPE!
STICK TO YOUR TOMATOES!
YOU'VE GOT YOUR ANSWER!
A GOOD CRACK ON THE
JAW WOULD DO YOU GOOD.
IF THAT WOULD DO IT,
I'D LOVE IT!
I'D LOVE TO LOOK UP
TO A MAN,
BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU HIT HARD ENOUGH!
I'D RATHER HE HIT ME
THAN LISTEN TO HIM!
WORDS COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH, YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR SOMETHING.
YOU GET HIT WITH
FEATHERS! IT, IT, IT, IT!
GET DOWN!
NOBODY TALKS TO ME
AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
"IT"? I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT "IT" IS!
"IT'S" THE EXCITEMENT, SEE?
EXCITEMENT THAT DON'T DIE!
I'VE SEEN LIFE
IMPORTANT! OH, HAVE I!
JUST LET 'EM THINK
THEY'RE GONNA LOSE IT!
I'VE SEEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN
TRAMPLED ON TO GET INTO LIFEBOATS
AND THEN THEY'RE ALL
SAFE AND ALL BORED AGAIN!
ALL BORED! FOR LIFE
TO BE EXCITING,
YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE
A SHIPWRECK EVERY DAY!
SO THAT'S WHAT I'M
LOOKING FOR, WISE GUY-
LIFE EXCITING. YOU CAN
THROW THE SHIPWRECKS AWAY!
THAT'S ALL. JUS AN EASY PICK-UP!
AND IF I SAY THE SEA IS THE
ONLY ROAD THAT LEADS TO IT,
IT'S BECAUSE THE SEA
SOUNDS LIKE IT.
SHE DOES THE TALKING,
YOU DO THE LISTENING.
SHE SINGS OUT THERE.
SHE'S FULL OF BANDS.
AND IF I PICKED
ON YOU TO TALK TO,
IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE OCEAN
IN YOUR EYES THAT DID IT.
I NEVER SAW I IN NO EYES BEFORE...
AND I'LL CALL I A DAY, TOO.
AND I'M SICK
TO DEATH OF YOU!
OH! OH!
WHY DO SAILORS
DRIVE SO FAST?
HEY, HEY, THAT'S HOW
SAILORS GET WRECKED!
I'M HIGH, AND I HAVEN'T HAD
A DROP TO DRINK. ARE YOU HIGH?
YEAH, BLOWIN' ABOU A FORCE 9 GALE!
OH, YOU'RE NOT A GALE,
YOU'RE A TORNADO.
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A
LOW-PRESSURE AREA YOURSELF.
OH, HA HA!
OH, YOU DO SAY THE
SWEETEST, MOST POETIC THINGS.
UH-OH.
THAT AIN'T POETRY.
YES, IT IS, TOO.
NO, WE'RE
RUNNING OUT OF GAS.
OH, WE'VE BEEN RUNNING
ON GAS POWER?
YEAH, AND WE'RE
SLOWED DOWN TO 60.
WELL, NOW THA WE'VE SLOWED DOWN,
COULDN'T YOU DRIVE
WITH ONE HAND?
SURE.
THANKS, SAILOR.
HEY, THAR SHE BLOWS!
GOOD OLD RENO!
BOY, THIS IS ONE TOWN I'M
REALLY GOING TO SHOW YOU!
OH, IT'S
A WASTE OF MONEY.
NOW, HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?
BECAUSE I WON'T LOOK A ANYTHING, REALLY, EXCEPT YOU.
YOU'RE
ACTING STUBBORN.
WHEN I FEEL POETIC,
I FEEL POETIC.
DO YOU EVER HEAR OF
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING?
SURE, SONNETS FROM
THE PORTUGUESE.
WHY, HARRY!
HEARD I ON A QUIZ PROGRAM.
AH, HA HA!
NO, LISTEN...
"UNLESS YOU CAN MUSE
"IN A CROWD ALL DAY
"ON THE ABSENT FACE
THAT FIXED YOU,
"UNLESS YOU CAN LOVE
AS THE ANGELS MADE
"WITH THE BREATH
OF HEAVEN BETWIXT YOU,
"UNLESS YOU CAN DREAM
THAT HIS LOVE WILL LAS "THROUGH BEHOVING
AND UNBEHOVING,
"UNLESS YOU CAN DIE
WHEN THE DREAM IS PAST,
OH, NEVER
CALL IT LOVING."
DO YOU LIKE IT?
BOY, YOU ARE HIGH!
MM-HMM!
THAT'S JUS HOW I FEEL.
YOU TAKE CHARGE OF THE POETRY,
EM. I'LL TAKE CHARGE OF RENO.
AH...
OH, HARRY, LOOK!
OH, WHAT LUCK!
YEAH, ONLY 3 MILES.
OH, NO! I MEAN
THE OTHER SIGN-THAT!
OH... HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, EMILY.
OH!
ONLY THAT?
JUST "ALL RIGHT"?
NO, BUT LET'S SEE
IF WE CAN MAKE RENO.
OH, HA HA!
I'M FREE AGAIN
I'M FREE AGAIN
OH, ME, OH, MY
OH,
I'M FREE AGAIN
HA HA HA!
HEY!
NO, YOU!
ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR A NEW GIRL?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
UH, GRACE.
WELL, HERE SHE IS-
THIS IS GRACE.
OK, GRACIE,
SHOW HIM NO MERCY.
REMEMBER, GEORGE, EVERYTHING
THAT YOU DID BEFORE,
AND DON' DO IT AGAIN!
OH, YES!
HA HA HA!
MM-HMM!
HA HA!
YOUR CHUCKLE, MY LOVE,
IS A DEEP LAUGH.
I'M CHUCKLIN', ALL RIGHT.
FIRST TIME WE'VE BEEN IN A ROOM.
THAT'S RIGHT...
OUT THERE-THERE WERE WALLS
OUT THERE, HIGH AS HEAVEN.
WONDER WHERE
THEY STUCK MY BAG?
OH.
WHERE DID WE
BUY THE BAG?
MUST HAVE BEEN
IN A STORE.
OH, I GO A NEW HAT OUT OF IT.
ICE WATER, SIR?
YEAH, COME IN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, SIR!
I'LL BUY MY GIRL
A PRESENT!
OH, UH, YOU AND THE MISSUS
LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?
WHO?
MRS.
PATTERSON.
OH!
WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING
ELSE, UH, MRS. PATTERSON?
UH, NO, THANK YOU,
MR. PATTERSON.
NO, THANK YOU.
WELL, WELL,
MRS. PATTERSON.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DARLING...
YES, DARLING?
WAS THAT MY
WEDDING PRESENT-
MARRYING ME?
I DON'T GET YOU.
WHY DID
YOU MARRY ME?
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT AWAY?
WHY, YES, BUT I WASN'T A COMMAND,
NOR WAS IT A FAVOR TO
ME, ANYMORE THAN TO YOU.
OK, BUT-
HEY, LOOK,
IS THAT RIGHT?
ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GIVE
WOMEN PRESENTS THAT MARRY YOU?
OH, HO HO, DEAR!
OH... ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S
THE MATTER, BABY?
OH, LOOK
AT THIS SAILOR.
WHEW!
AND AM I SAILING!
WHA-
WHAT IN THE WORLD-
OH, WHAT IS THIS,
DARLING?
OH, JUST A GIRL.
OH,
JUST A GIRL, EH?
THAT'S ALL.
HER NAME'S JEANNE,
IS THAT RIGHT?
PRONOUNCED "JOHN."
FRENCH.
OH, "JOHN."
MM-HMM.
GOT ANY OTHERS
AROUND YOU ANYWHERE?
NO, NO.
SHE WAS
THE ONE AND ONLY, EH?
NO. I DIDN' MARRY HER, DID I?
PERHAPS
SHE DIDN'T ASK YOU.
HEY, HEY...
WHAT IS
ALL THIS, HUH?
JUST A MINUTE,
DARLING, JUST A MINUTE.
THERE.
HARRY,
WHAT'S MY NAME?
EMILY.
DON'T SOUND
MUCH ALIKE, DO THEY?
NOPE.
DON'T FORGET IT.
OH, GEORGE!
MMM...
HMM?
OH, I'M SORRY,
DEAR, SORRY.
WHY, YOU-
HA HA HA HA!
THAT'S NOT A SQUARE DEAL! I GOT 2 BAGS!
BUT I HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR WITH MY KEY!
EM, IT'S YOUR DOOR. YOU
OPENED IT A MILLION TIMES!
OH, BUT 8 SECONDS.
MAKE IT 10!
OK, GO AHEAD.
YOU UNDERSTAND, NOW,
IF I GET INTO THE APARTMEN BEFORE YOU CATCH ME, YOU
HAVE TO STAND OUTSIDE FOREVER.
YEAH, RIGH IN THE HALL.
READY?
1... 2...
3, 4, 5, 6...
OH!
HA HA HA! OH!
OH!
HA HA HA HA!
HARRY?
YEAH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THE LAST TIME GOING DOWN
THE STAIRS WAS SUNDAY,
ON THE WAY
TO THE FARM.
YEAH. WELL?
WELL, YOU WERE JUS ABOUT THE LAST GENTLEMAN
I WANTED TO SEE
THAT MORNING.
YEAH, I RECALL
YOUR GREETING.
AND THE NEXT TIME COMING
UP THESE SAME STAIRS,
I'M YOUR WIFE.
YOU'D HAVE BET A LOT OF DOUGH
AGAINST THAT, WOULDN'T YOU HAVE?
I'D HAVE
BET MY LIFE.
I'D HAVE BET THE END
OF THE WORLD FIRST.
HARRY...
YEAH?
I WISH
WE WERE IN RENO.
WANT TO GO BACK?
OH, NO.
HA HA HA!
ARE YOU COMING IN HERE
WITH ME LIKE A HUSBAND?
WELL, I WASN'T DOING
THIS SUNDAY, NEITHER.
HEY, AM I MARRIED, TOO?
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS SO. HA HA-
EMILY!
OH, EMILY!
YOU OUGHT TO BE SHOT!
YOU HEEL, YOU!
HELEN!
YOU OUGHT TO BE
STRUNG UP-
HELEN!
WE'RE MARRIED!
HUH?
WELL,
WE THINK WE ARE.
OH, DON'T BE DUMB, EMMY!
YOU THINK YOU ARE?
HIM, MARRIED? HE WOULDN' MARRY HIS OWN MOTHER!
WELL, YOU GIRLS
FIGURE IT OUT.
I'M BUYING
A LITTLE DRINK.
LET ME KNOW HOW
YOU COME OUT.
LOOK, LOOK.
YOU MEAN LEGAL?
YES!
IT ISN'T FORGED?
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
OH, DARLING!
OH, HELEN!
DO YOU STILL LIKE ME?
EMILY!
MARRIED!
EMILY'S MARRIED!
HEY! LIKE ME, TOO, WILL YA?
OH, HARRY, I THOUGH SHE NEVER WOULD!
SHE'S SUCH A LONESOME GIRL, REALLY.
SHE'D GO OUT WITH ME JUST TO
BE NICE, BUT SHE'D HATE IT.
SHE COULD HAVE EVERY MAN
IN FRISCO IF SHE WANTED,
AND I KNOW SHE COULD. YOU DON'T KNOW!
OH, HELEN, PLEASE!
SHE'S THE
BEST GIRL GOIN'!
WELL, SAY SOMETHIN',
HARRY! SAY SOMETHIN'-
OK, OK, I AGREE
WITH YOU, PAL.
OH, HARRY!
OH!
I LOVE YOU
FOR HER LOVIN' YOU!
I'M IN LOVE
WITH BOTH OF YOU!
I'M IN-I'M IN LOVE
WITH BOTH OF YOU!
I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE
EVER LOVED ANYBODY
AS MUCH AS I LOVE
THE TWO OF YOU!
OH, HARRY, LOOK! YOU GO LIPSTICK ALL OVER YOU!
I'M SORRY!
HEY, EMILY,
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
THE LAST TIME
I KISSED HARRY
WAS ON THAT SOFA
AT THE FARM.
DO YOU REALIZE I HAVEN' SEEN EITHER ONE OF YOU SINCE?
I MEAN, I KISS HARRY
ON THE SOFA,
NEXT TIME I SEE HIM
AND KISS HIM AGAIN,
A LITTLE ITEM, DEAR! HE'S
MARRIED BETWEEN KISSES!
OK, GIRLS, OK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THIS IS FINE,
BUT IT'S A LITTLE DRY.
I'LL GET CLEANED UP AND GO
OUT AND GET A BUCKET OF WINE.
THIS CALLS
FOR A CELEBRATION.
THIS CALLS FOR ME TO
GET OUT. I GET IT.
I'M LATE
FOR THE OFFICE.
NO, NO. YOU'RE CRAZY.
NO OFFICE TODAY.
WE'LL CELEBRATE,
THE 3 OF US!
REALLY?
YES, YES!
GOOD OLD RENO!
WE BROUGHT IT BACK WITH
US, DARLING, DIDN'T WE?
YOU KNOW IT!
HOOK HER, EMILY, HOOK HER!
HA HA!
YOU CRAZY ABOUT HIM?
JUST CRAZY.
HE CRAZY ABOUT YOU?
JUST CRAZY.
OH...
OH, EMILY!
NOW, TELL ME
ALL ABOUT IT.
YOU ARRIVE AT RENO, "LET NO
MAN PUT ASUNDER," AND THEN-
THEN WHAT'D YOU DO?
WE PLAYED ROULETTE.
YOU DID?
AND THEN
HE BOUGHT ME A HAT.
THAT'S BETTER.
ISN'T IT SILLY?
I LOVE IT.
AND THEN
WE HAD A STEAK.
STEAK'S A STEAK
ANYTIME, ISN'T IT?
HEY, WHERE'S
THE TOWELS?
BEHIND THE DOOR.
BEHIND THE WHAT?
BEHIND THE DOOR.
HUH! FUNNY PLACE
TO KEEP 'EM!
SQUAWKING ALREADY!
HEY, I GOT TO GET MYSELF UNDER A ROOF!
I'LL GET A ROOM AS CLOSE BY AS I CAN.
WELL, WAI A MINUTE, HELEN!
I MEAN,
LET ME SEE, I...
WHOA, WHOA!
FUNNY, I NEVER
GAVE IT A THOUGHT,
I MEAN,
ABOUT LIVING.
WE HADN' EVEN MENTIONED IT.
LET'S TAKE A SHORT PAUSE BEFORE
THE PARTY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THINK YOU'LL LIVE HERE, OR
GET A LITTLE HOUSE SOMEPLACE?
I DON'T KNOW. WHERE ARE
WE GOING TO LIVE, HARRY?
NEVER GAVE I A THOUGHT.
WELL, NOW,
LOOK, YOU TWO.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE
TODAY. HERE'S YOUR APARTMENT.
YOU CAN'T BEAT I FOR TWO ANYPLACE.
BUT SPEAKING
FOR MYSELF,
I'D THINK YOU'D LIKE A
LITTLE HOUSE WITH A GARDEN.
ANYWAY, I GET MYSELF
A ROOM-
OH, HELEN, I'D HATE TO TURN YOU OUT.
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
A ROOF'S A ROOF,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
WAIT A MINUTE,
HELEN, HOLD IT.
THIS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE WITH YOU GIRLS.
I'M SHIPPIN' OU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
THEN YOU TWO GIRLS
KEEP ON LIVING HERE,
JUST AS IF NOTHING
HAPPENED AT ALL.
YOU'RE SHIPPING OUT?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'M DOIN'?
I'M A SAILOR,
AIN'T I?
YES, OF COURSE,
BUT...
I GUESS I THOUGHT YOU'D GO
TO WORK HERE OR SOMETHING.
WELL, I GUESS I JUS THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO STAY.
WELL, I... I GUESS I
DON'T KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT.
A SHORE JOB? ME?
HA! EMILY!
OH, NO, DEAR,
OF COURSE NOT!
IT'S FUNNY.
ALL...
ALL THINKING STOPS.
LOVE'S A DRUG,
ISN'T IT?
OH, BUT, HARRY,
WHEN YOU COME BACK, YOU
WANT A PLACE OF YOUR OWN
TO COME BACK TO,
DON'T YOU?
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THIS PLACE?
WELL... NOTHING,
IF I'M NOT HERE.
HOW DO YOU
BOTHER ME ANY?
WELL, YOU DON' WANT ME AROUND
WHEN YOU
COME HOME, DO YOU?
OH, YOU MEAN
THERE'S ONLY ONE ROOM.
SURE. 'COURSE I CAN GO
SIT IN A GUTTER SOMEPLACE,
BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
A MAN DOESN'T WAN ANOTHER WOMAN AROUND
IF THERE ARE
A THOUSAND ROOMS.
WELL, THAT'S
A BED, AIN'T IT?
THAT? HURTS YOU
TO SIT ON IT!
WELL, IT WON'T KILL YOU
TO SLEEP ON I A COUPLE OF NIGHTS,
WILL IT?
YOU WANT TO BE WITH EMILY
WHILE I'M GONE, DON'T YOU?
WHAT'S THE USE OF GETTIN' A
ROOM FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS?
BUT, ANYWAY,
DO AS YOU WANT.
I AIN'T GONNA
TELL YOU HOW TO SLEEP.
BUT, HARRY,
THAT ISN'T THE IDEA.
A MAN WANTS A HOME
OF HIS OWN.
A MAN'S GOT A GARDEN, FOR INSTANCE.
HE THINKS ABOUT I WHILE HE'S AWAY,
WONDERS
HOW IT'S GROWING.
DOES HE?
CERTAINLY!
MAN'S GOT TO WONDER HOW
SOMETHING'S GROWING-
A GARDEN
OR A BABY OR-
WHAT BABY?
HUH?
OH... YOU MEAN
A BABY.
WELL, YOU KNOW, FOR A MINUTE I THOUGH YOU WAS TALKING ABOU ANOTHER FRIEND OF YOURS.
MY MISTAKE, MY MISTAKE. A BABY, HUH?
DO YOU WAN A BABY, PAL?
NOPE.
SHE'S ON A RAMPAGE, AND
YOU'RE ALL WOUND UP, BOY!
HELEN, WHY DON' YOU GET MARRIED?
YOU SOUND LIKE
YOU'D LIKE IT.
THE OTHER NIGHT, YOU
WEREN'T GIVING IT VERY MUCH.
ANYWAY, I NEVER KNOW
WHEN I'LL BE BACK.
I'M LIABLE TO BE
SHIPPED ANYWHERE.
I'M LIABLE TO NO SEE YOU FOR YEARS.
ARE OF YOU SURPRISED
ABOUT ANYTHING?
ROOM'S KIND OF LOS A LOT OF IT'S, UH...
OH, NO, HARRY, NO. EVERYTHING'S
GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH,
LET'S GET GOING AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, WINE GOES
GREAT IN THE MORNING,
AND THE 3 OF US
WILL GO OUT.
WE'LL FIND SOME OF THE BOYS, AND WE'LL
HAVE A PARTY UNTIL THE SHIP SAILS.
THAT'LL TAKE CARE OF THE BEDS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES.
GEE, IT'S...
IT'S 8:30.
HEY, EMILY...
YEAH?
IT'S, UH... IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS, BUT...
YOU KNOW SAILORS ARE
KIND OF CRAZY, AND...
I'D NIP THAT BIRD
RIGHT IN THE BUD
AND TELL HIM
WHAT'S WHAT.
ALL THAT TALK I GAVE HIM
ABOUT THE PRIZE HE'D WON-
HE KNOWS IT, DOES HE? YES, HE DOES.
HIM...
IF HE WAS MINE,
I'D STICK AN ANCHOR ON HIM
BEFORE 10:00 THIS MORNING.
I'M AFRAID HE'D
DRAG IT A LITTLE.
NO, HELEN, JUST TO KEEP THE RECORD
STRAIGHT, I WALKED RIGHT INTO THIS.
I KNEW HE WAS A CRAZY GUY.
I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO
THINK IT OVER, BUT I DIDN'T.
I'M NOT BLAMING HARRY
AT ALL.
I'M BUYING HIS WINE.
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO?
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OK.
HI!
HI.
I GOT CHAMPAGNE,
AND I GOT THE BEST BOTTLE
OF BRANDY IN FRISCO.
WHICH DO YOU WANT?
HEY! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A DIVORCE.
HUH?
WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T LET'S WAIT,
HARRY.
WE DON'T BELIEVE IN
WAITING, DO WE, HARRY?
OK... YOU SAY YOU WANT A
DIVORCE, AND I SAY, "WHY?"
HMM?
AND I SAY,
"LOOK, MISTER... "
WHAT IS OUR NAME?
PATTERSON?
WHY, I WANT A DIVORCE,
MR. PATTERSON,
BECAUSE I WANT A DIVORCE.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
MARRIED TO YOU.
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE A GOOD HUSBAND.
HMM. ALL THAT TALK
WITH HELEN-
THAT'S THE DOPE,
AIN'T IT?
ALL THAT TALK ABOU LITTLE GARDENS
OR WHATEVER WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT.
YOU'RE WRONG. I DON'T WAN LITTLE GARDENS, EITHER.
I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN
- NOT A NICKEL'S WORTH.
YOU AGREE WITH ME THA MARRIAGE IS THE BUNK, HUH?
THERE AIN'T NOTHING
BETWEEN A MAN AND A TOMATO-
UH, A WOMAN
- BUT LIKE A TIME AT RENO.
BUT TO SETTLE DOWN?
THAT AIN'T IT, IS IT?
MY OLD FRIEND "IT."
LET'S PUT I THIS WAY, HARRY:
I'M NO MORE LIKE HELEN...
NO MORE LIKE HER THAN...
THAN... THAN THE GIRL
ON YOUR ARM.
HEY, YOU AIN'T JEALOUS OF HER, ARE YOU?
NO, DEAR.
COULD BE A LITTLE,
PAL...
ESPECIALLY A GIRL A GUY
CARRIES AROUND WITH HIM.
I WOULDN'T LIKE
A GUY PAINTED ON YOU
STARING AT ME,
NEITHER.
WOULDN'T YOU, HARRY?
NO, I WOULDN'T.
HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS- SUPPOSE
I STICK YOU ON THE OTHER ARM?
NO, THANK YOU,
DARLING.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU WOULDN' BE ASHAMED OF THIS GIRL NONE?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M PROTECTING
HER ABOUT. SHE DON'T NEED IT.
I'M SURE SHE DOESN'T.
AND, HARRY, I'M NO A BIT INTERESTED.
THIS GIRL WAS GOOD.
SHE LIVED ON THE SHORES
OF NORMANDY BEFORE THE WAR.
I LOOKED GOOD TO HER
BECAUSE SHE LIVED
NOWHERE NEAR ANYBODY
WORTH KNOWING.
I COULDN'T HELP
LOOKING GOOD TO HER.
THEN COME A TIME WHEN I'D
BETTER GET OUT OF THERE, SEE?
BUT GET THIS STRAIGHT- I
MISSED HER MORE THAN SHE DID ME.
SHE WAS ONE LOVELY GIRL.
I'D BET ON THAT.
WHAT DID SHE SAY
WHEN YOU SAID GOOD-BYE?
I DIDN'T SAY GOOD-BYE.
SHE WAS ASLEEP.
DID SHE SEE THIS?
NOPE.
SORRY.
WELL... I LIKE
YOUR FRENCH LADY.
AND I REPEAT-
I'M NOT IN LOVE
WITH LITTLE HOUSES
AND LITTLE GARDENS.
LITTLE GARDENS DON'T MEAN
ONE THING OR ANOTHER.
I DON'T MEAN THAT I'M
AFRAID OF THE SEA, EITHER.
WE COULD HAVE ALL
THE 7 SEAS BETWEEN US.
IT COULD STILL
BE PERFECT.
WHAT I'M TRYING
TO SAY IS...
WE DIDN'T BRING RENO
BACK WITH US.
RENO'S STILL IN RENO,
AND RENO SHOULD GROW
IN A GARDEN.
GET ME?
SURE, I GET YOU.
AND, SAY...
I WOULDN'T WONDER
IF YOU AND ME ARE A LO ALIKE, DO YOU KNOW IT?
AND HOW ABOUT THIS-
YOU GET A DIVORCE,
AND THEN
WHEN I LAND AGAIN,
IF YOU FEEL BETTER ABOU IT, WE'LL GET MARRIED AGAIN.
RIGHT TO LEFT,
LEFT TO RIGHT...
OK, PAL, OK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WE'RE DIVORCED, DEAR.
OH...
BUT NOT OFFICIALLY.
WE WEREN'T MARRIED
OFFICIALLY, EITHER.
OK, PAL, OK. NOW HOW
ABOUT FINDING THE BOYS?
NO, THANKS.
PARTY'S OVER, HUH?
IT WAS A NICE ONE.
MM-MMM.
WELL, SHE DOES MOVE, DON'T SHE?
I TOLD YOU ON THE STAIRS,
IT CAN HAPPEN FAST.
OK, DARLING, OK. AND
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
I'LL BE HANGING AROUND
THE SAME JOINT, PROBABLY,
AND I HOPE
YOU CHANGE IT, PAL.
THANKS, HARRY.
IF I DO, I'LL
LOOK YOU UP, PAL.
OK, PAL. SO LONG.
SO LONG.
DO I GET A KISS?
SURE.
OK.
SO LONG.
SO LONG.
YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL.
HI, GUS!
- HEY, HARRY!
WHAT SHIP
WE WORKING?
IT'S A LUCKY THING
YOU SHOWED UP!
THEY GOT MUDGIN ON
THE CARPET IN THERE.
WHAT FOR?
HE WON'T SAIL
WITHOUT HIS SOUL.
YEAH, AND THEY'RE GONNA
TAKE HIS BOOK AWAY.
YEAH?
AND ANOTHER THING...
SHOW ME THE LAW
OF THE MARITIME UNION
OR THE SHIPPING COMMISSION
THAT SAYS YOU CAN TAKE A MAN'S
BOOK AWAY FOR LOSING HIS SOUL.
WHAT SOUL? MY WEEPIN', IMMORTAL SOUL
THAT I HAVE TO HAVE TO
GO TO HEAVEN IF I DIE.
WE'VE ARGUED
LONG ENOUGH.
NOW, SHIP ON THE PACIFIC
BELLE, OR LOSE YOUR BOOK.
YOU AIN'T GOT A RIGHT TO PASS
JUDGMENT ON A THING LIKE THIS.
OH, I AIN'T, HUH?
NO, YOU AIN'T, MISTER.
YOU AIN'T BIG ENOUGH.
THE MARITIME UNION
AIN'T BIG ENOUGH.
THAT'S ALL, BROTHER.
YOU'RE BEACHED FOR GOOD!
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T!
HOLD IT, MUDGE.
HARRY!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
PAUL REVERE PATTERSON.
HIYA, PALS.
OK, BUT THIS LITTLE
CHARACTER-WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
ON A MISSION OF MERCY
IN RENO.
LOOK, PATTERSON, WE'VE LISTED
YOUR CREW FOR THIS TRIP.
THEY'VE ALL CHECKED IN
OK BUT THIS SCREWBALL.
HE'LL CHECK IN.
WHEN'S SHE SAIL?
BE ABOARD
FRIDAY MORNING.
WHAT ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT?
IF WE SAIL, WE SAIL.
I'LL GUARANTEE MUDGE.
GIVE HIM BACK HIS BOOK.
OK,
THERE YOU ARE.
MUCH THANKS, STEVE.
COME ON, MUDGE.
I DON'T KNOW, HARRY.
A MAN IN MY CONDITION-
TAKE IT EASY. I'LL GIVE YOU A
CERTIFICATE OF LOSS FOR THE THING.
WORSE GUYS THAN YOU HAVE
SKIMMED PAST THE PEARLY GATES.
DID YOU GET HIM
OFF, HARRY?
SURE, SURE.
WHERE YOU REALLY BEEN, HARRY?
I COULDN'T FIND YOU NOPLACE.
I WAS MARRIED
- MARRIED AND DIVORCED. RENO, RENO.
WHO WAS SHE,
HARRY?
A FRIEND OF MUDGIN-
PSYCHONEUROSIS.
MISS EMILY?
YEAH. YEAH, EMILY.
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
YOU DID THA TO MISS EMILY?
PATTERSON...
MARRIED?
LET'S HAVE A DRINK,
MUDGE, ON ME.
A DRINK? NO, NOT NOW.
I GOT AN ERRAND TO DO.
WHEW...
DID I STOP ONE!
'TWAS A DIRTY FIGHT?
NO, IT WAS STRIC MERCHANT MARINE RULES.
I'M ALWAYS
UNDERESTIMATING HIM.
DON'T YOU REALLY MEAN
THAT YOU OVERESTIMATED ME?
OH, NO, MISS EMILY.
I BET YOU DONE BETTER
THAN ANYBODY ELSE
COULD'VE DONE.
I CLAIM A DRAW.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A
GIRL CAN'T EVER WIN.
ALL SHE CAN DO IS
HOLD DOWN THE SCORE.
I GOT TO TAKE
THE BLAME FOR THIS.
OH, NO. WE WERE BOTH
OVERCONFIDENT...
BUT YOU CAN QUOTE ME-
A VERY CHARMING MAN.
OH, THE TRICKY,
TWISTY WAYS OF HIM.
WHEN I BRUNG HIM
INTO THE LIBRARY,
I KNOWED FROM THE VERY FIRS IT WAS YOU HE'D BE AFTER.
SO DID I.
BUT THE CHARM OF THE
SCAMP-YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
OH, YES.
NOT LIKE ME, WHO'S FOLLOWED
HIM THESE MANY YEARS.
I'VE CURSED HIM
FOR PICKING FIGHTS,
THEN GONE AFTER HIM INTO
THE BRAWL HE STARTED.
I'VE EVEN DEFENDED
HIM TO WOMEN
USING MY NATIVE
ELOQUENCE.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?
HE'LL MISS YOU,
I SAY.
HE'LL GRIEVE FOR YOU AND
COME BACK A BETTER MAN.
BE PATIENT, BE TRUE,
AND WAIT FOR HIM TO GROW
THE THORNY ROSE YOU
PLANTED IN HIS HEART.
THAT WAS LOVELY,
MR. MUDGIN.
IT WAS A LIE.
BUT I'LL NOT LIE
TO YOU, MISS EMILY.
IT'S GOOD RIDDANCE
YOU BROKE WITH HIM.
THAT WAS BRAVE.
THAT WAS STRONG.
I TOLD YOU I GOT A LEAST A DRAW, DIDN'T I?
YOU AIN'T BRUISED
TOO BAD?
NO.
YOU SEE, I'M A PRETTY
TOUGH MUG MYSELF.
SURE, NOW, YOU ARE.
YOU ARE.
BUT ME... I'M SAILING
WITH HIM.
BULLIED ME INTO IT,
HE DID! SHEER BULLYING!
YOU DESERVE A BOW.
A BOW? FOR SAVING
THAT BLACK OCEAN,
AND ME
WITHOUT A SOUL?
BOTH OF US ARE
LOST-CASTAWAYS.
HE NEEDS YOU,
MR. MUDGE.
KEEP THIS UNDER
YOUR HAT, PAL,
BUT HE ISN'T NEARLY THE
CHAMPION HE THINKS HE IS.
HARRY PATTERSON?
I CAN SAY NO MORE.
IT'S A TRADE SECRET...
BUT PUT THE LAUREL WREATH ON
HIS BROW AND LET HIM SWAGGER.
THE GUY STILL RATES A
CHEER, AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME.
QUEEN DEIRDRE
HERSELF.
SHAKE.
GOOD-BYE, MR. MUDGE.
HI.
HELEN! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HOME?
I'M TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU THAT I FORGOT.
I GIVE UP... SO
I'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
I LEFT A LO OF WORRY HERE.
OH, DEAR HELEN.
HEY, YOU SOUND FINE.
EM, ARE YOU PACKING TO GO AWAY
WITH HIM HIS LAST FEW DAYS?
NO. WE PARTED...
GAY AS TWO LARKS.
IF YOU'RE SORRY FOR ME,
YOU'LL BE SORRY...
BUT YOU CAN HAVE THE HARBOR
TILL HE'S GONE.
I'LL BE BACK
IN TWO DAYS...
TELL YOU ABOUT A DAYDREAM
I HAD IN THE LIBRARY.
THANK YOU.
HI, EM!
COME DOWN HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT ARE YOU PAINTING MY HOUSE FOR?
HA! IT NEEDS IT,
DON'T IT?
WHAT ARE YOU
PAINTING IT FOR?
JUST A GOING-AWAY
PRESENT, THAT'S ALL.
I GUESS I THOUGH IT WOULD PLEASE YOU.
THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE A
LITTLE MONEY IN MY SHOES.
NOW, LOOK.
THAT'S THE LAST WAY
TO LOOK AT IT, EMILY.
I SEE HOW IT WOULD MAKE
YOU SORE, NATURALLY,
BUT IT AIN' LIKE THAT.
WHEN I SAID A PRESENT,
I MEANT LIKE A PRESEN TO RENO
FROM BOTH OF US.
USUALLY YOU PAINT THE
TOWN GOOD THE LAST DAY,
IN MY TRADE.
BUT I THOUGHT, JUS TO SHOW YOU THAT RENO
WAS THE BEST TIME
I EVER HAD ASHORE,
I'D PAINT YOUR HOUSE
INSTEAD.
WELL...
THAT'S VERY NICE OF
YOU, HARRY, OF COURSE.
NOW WE CAN SAY
GOOD-BYE AGAIN.
AS YOU SAID, WE'RE ALWAYS
SAYING GOOD-BYE.
YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO FINISH IT?
NO, HARRY, THANKS.
WHY?
BECAUSE...
BECAUSE I SAY SO!
OK.
OK!
OH, FINE, YOU DECIDED
TO PAINT THE HOUSE.
IT LOOKS GREAT. I TAKE
IT YOU'RE MISS SEARS.
I'M MR. LITTLETON.
I WISH
I'D KNOWN-
I SHOULD GIVE UP
MY LAST DAY,
AND YOU
DON'T WANT IT.
BUT, PAINTER,
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?
NOW, THIS CAN ALL
BE SETTLED.
WHAT A SUCKER
I WAS!
GET OUT HERE, WILL YOU?
GET OUT OF HERE!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
MISS SEARS?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE
HE'S DOING A FINE JOB.
GET OUT?
LISTEN, I'M OUT!
I NEVER WAS SUCH
A SUCKER.
I SHOULD GIVE UP
MY LAST DAY
TO PAINT THIS
RUSTY DUMP!
WE CAN'T GET ANYWHERE
THIS WAY, PAINTER.
GET OUT OF HERE!
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE!
I'LL GET OUT WHEN
I'M GOOD AND READY!
YEAH, YEAH, YOU GO THAT LIBRARY LOOK.
YOU'RE SCREWY.
OH!
GET OUT OF HERE!
GET OUT OF HERE!
MISS SEARS, YOU CAN'T TREA PAINTERS LIKE THAT THESE DAYS.
THEY'RE INDEPENDENT.
WHOA,
THEY'RE INDEPENDENT.
SO LONG,
SCREWBALL!
HA HA HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
GET THAT SPRING LINE IN.
SHORE LEAVE'S OVER.
COME ON, SHAKE A LEG!
OK, HARRY.
ALL CLEAR AFT?
ALL CLEAR AFT,
CAPTAIN.
ALL CLEAR FORWARD,
BOSUN?
ALL CLEAR FORWARD,
CAPTAIN!
ALL RIGHT,
TAKE IT AWAY!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
HEY!
HI!
HEY, FELLAS,
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
HIYA,
SLUGGER!
HIYA, DEMPSEY!
HIYA, FELLAS!
HI!
HI!
DON'T HIT THE SHIP!
WHERE IS HE?
HEY, HARRY!
HERE'S YOUR...
HIYA, PAL!
HEY, EMILY!
HIYA, ROCKS!
DO YOU KNOW WHY
I WAS MAD?
NO!
I-
I DIDN'T WAN ANYTHING CHANGED!
WHAT?
I LIKED IT AS IT WAS!
WHAT?
AHH!
I LIKED IT AS IT WAS!
OH. HOW WAS IT?
WASN'T PAINTED SUNDAY,
WAS IT?
OH! HEY,
DON'T GET SWEET!
THIS AIN'T NO TIME
TO GET SWEET!
THROW A ROCK!
OK!
HEY!
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK!
HA HA! WHAT'LL
YOU HAVE, PAL?
ICE WATER!
BELLBOY'S KNOCKING!
WHO BOUGHT ME THIS?
ME!
WHERE?
RENO!
AWWWWW...
HEY, MUDGE!
DON'T YOUR SOUL RATE
WAVING GOOD-BYE, TOO?
YOU MEAN GRINNIN' LIKE
THE WAY YOU SAID IT?
SURE. A GUY'S SOUL,
HIS DAME, POWELL STREET,
TIP YOUR HAT TO HIM.
AHH, I COULDN'T.
THAT'S TOO FINAL.
AW, SNAP OUT, PAL.
NOTHING IS EVER FINAL
AS LONG AS YOU'RE LIVING.
WELL, MISS EMILY
WAS FINAL.
EMILY?
YEAH.
I SAW HER SAY
GOOD-BYE.
HO HO, SHE'S ALWAYS
SAYING GOOD-BYE TO ME.
SHE'S CRAZY.
DID YOU SEE HER
THROW HER HAT?
INDEED I SAW IT.
YOU SAW NOTHIN'.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER
THROWING ROCKS.
SOME SCREWBALL.
MY FRISCO SCREWBALL.
SCREWBALL, EH? HA!
SHE'S GONNA BE WAITIN'
FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK,
AIN'T SHE?
SURE.
WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF
SHE MET THE SHIP SWIMMING.
NO, NO, MR. BOSUN,
YOU NEVER LEFT HER.
SHE LEFT YOU,
GOD BLESS HER.
BUT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE
RID OF HER, NOT MISS EMILY.
WITH HER LAUGHTER AND
HER SWEET CRAZINESS.
SHE'LL TEAR
YOUR HEART OUT.
YOU STUMBLED ONTO
A QUEEN,
AND QUEENS GET INTO
MEN'S BLOOD,
AND DIRTY TRAMPS FROM
THE SEA CAN'T TAKE IT!
MUDGE.
THIS IS ME YOU'RE
TALKING TO-HARRY.
YEAH, I KNOW
IT'S YOU, HARRY.
YEAH?
I GUESS IT WAS SOMETHING
I WAS SAVING UP.
NOW IT'S SAID.
DON'T WANT TO
TAKE IT BACK?
NOT ONE WORD.
TAKE IT BACK.
YOU AIN'T TALKING TO
YOUR FRIEND,
YOU'RE TALKING TO
YOUR BOSUN.
OH, MY BOSUN, IS IT?
WELL, BEIN' A SAILOR AND
WITH RESPECT TO DISCIPLINE
TO BOSUN PATTERSON,
I TAKE IT BACK.
TO MY FRIEND
THAT WAS,
NEVER WILL I.
HA HA HA HA HA!
IT WAS ALL MY IDEA, COMING TO RENO.
EMILY WAS HERE ON HER HONEYMOON,
AND I SAID THE WAY TO GET CURED QUICK
IS TAKE A HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT YOU.
YOU MEAN A TACK FROM
THE HEEL THAT KICKED YOU.
MY LAST ONE WAS
JUST PLAIN RAT.
HOW ABOUT YOURS,
EMILY?
MINE WAS A SAILOR.
OH. ANNAPOLIS MAN?
NO.
WHAT WAS HIS RANK, DARLING?
HE'S A BOSUN.
GREATEST BOSUN
OF THEM ALL.
AND THE BIGGES HEEL.
BUT WHAT'S
A BOSUN, EMILY?
I THINK IT'S
THE NEXT RANK
ABOVE ADMIRAL
OF THE FLEET.
HE WAS JUS A TOUGH MUG SAILOR.
HE SOUNDS
ROMANTIC.
DON'T BELIEVE I EVER KNEW A SAILOR.
OH, YOU MISSED A LOT.
SHE WAS A PERFECTLY
HAPPY LIBRARIAN UNTIL HE-
OH, NO, HELEN, NO.
I WORKED IN A MORGUE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
THE DEAD RISE UP
WHEN THAT SAILOR
CAME IN.
EVEN GABRIEL'S HORN
COULDN'T PIPE HIM DOWN.
HE TREATED YOU LIKE A
TOMATO ON A BIG SHORE LEAVE.
WHAT A SHORE LEAVE.
AND THEN HE
RAN OFF TO SEA!
I WOULD HAVE HAD
AN ADORABLE HUSBAND.
ADORABLE?
FOR 3 DAYS
EVERY 6 MONTHS.
OR ONE DAY
EVERY 10 YEARS.
MM-HMM.
EMILY! EMILY!
HEY, JOE!
SHE ISN'T USED
TO DRINKING.
BETTER GET A DOCTOR,
HELEN.
IS SHE
ALL RIGHT?
WAS IT JUS THE BRANDY?
OH, NO, NO, NO. BU NOTHING TO BE ALARMED ABOUT.
QUITE A COMMON AILMEN AMONG BRIDES.
HUH?
EMILY-
OH, YOU POOR KID,
EMILY!
THEY SAY A WOMAN
CAN'T KEEP A SECRET.
YOU SHOULD HAVE
TOLD ME.
OH, NO, NO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
THROUGH WITH THE DIVORCE.
CERTAINLY I AM.
WELL, YOU BETTER
WRITE HIM AND-
NO, NO, NEVER.
AND I WANT YOU TO PROMISE
THAT YOU WON'T WRITE TO HIM.
OHHH...
HAVING BABIES IS
NO FUN, YOU KNOW.
THE LEAS HE COULD DO IS-
NO, HE COULDN'T.
NOT FOR ME.
I'M NOT GOING
TO ASK HIM.
OH, EMILY!
HEY, HEY, DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
RIGHT NOW YOU'RE GOING TO
WASH THE TEARS OFF YOUR FACE.
WE'RE GOING TO
THE DANCE TONIGHT.
ONCE THERE WAS A WAITRESS
IN THE BRIDGE DOOR HOTEL
HER MASTER WAS A FINE ONE
AND HER MISTRESS WAS A-SWELL
ALONG CAME A SAILOR LAD
FRESH FROM THE SEA
AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING
OF ALL THAT MISERY
WHEN DID HE SPEAK
TO YOU GUYS LAST?
OUTSIDE OF GIVEN ORDERS, NOT SINCE
WE LEFT SYDNEY, MORE THAN A MONTH.
I AIN'T HAD
A LOOK OUT OF HIM
SINCE FRISCO, 6 MONTHS.
6 MONTHS AND 11 DAYS.
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S ALL HOOKED UP WITH THAT GOOFY FIGH HE AND MUDGE HAD WHEN WE LEFT FRISCO.
MUDGIN GIVES ME
THE CREEPS, TOO.
ALL OVER THE SHIP
AND IN
EVERY BLINKIN' POR LIKE A DAF BIRD DOG AFTER
A GROUSE THAT FLEW AWAY.
STILL LOOKIN' FOR THA COCKEYED SOUL OF HIS.
... AS FAR AS YOU CAN SEE
FOR I TRUSTED ONE ONCE
AND HE PUT OUT TO SEA
AND THAT IS-
STOP THAT YOWLING!
WHERE'S MUDGIN?
HE'S UP IN
THE...
OH.
YEAH, "OH."
HELLO, BOSUN HARRY,
OLD PAL... SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OFF-DUTY?
MISS EMILY,
HARRY.
I SAW HER-SAW HER
FROM THE LOOKOUT.
SHE WAS STANDIN' RIGH HERE BY NUMBER ONE LIFEBOAT.
SHE DIDN'T LOOK SCARED
OR SORROWFUL OR NOTHIN'.
BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL
SHE WAS.
GAY-LIKE, SHE SMILED AND
THROWED HER SHOES IN THE OCEAN.
YOU'RE DRUNK.
YOU'RE BLIND DRUNK.
NO, NO, HARRY.
SOBER I SAW HER, TOO.
THE FIFTH NIGH OUT OF FRISCO.
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, MUDGIN.
YOU'RE ALWAYS
SEEING THINGS.
IF IT AIN'T YOUR SOUL POPPING OUT OF YOU
AND RUNNING UP
POWELL STREET,
IT'S A TOMATO.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,
MR. BOSUN, SIR.
I CAN SEE THINGS.
I CAN HEAR THINGS, TOO.
SIR.
HERE. COME ON,
THIS WAY.
YES, SIR,
BOSUN OLD PAL, SIR.
RIGHT BACK UP THERE
ON WATCH.
COME ON.
GET UP THERE, AND
MAKE IT FAST, PAL.
HOLD ON NOW,
HARRY.
START CLIMBING.
CLIMBIN' IT IS,
I'LL SCOOT UP
THAT WITCHBROOM HANDLE...
IT'S BEEN A SCREWY
DEAL, HARRY,
BUT YOU DON' WANT THIS.
WE'VE HOISTED TOO MANY
TOGETHER FOR THIS.
HE'S STIFF, HARRY.
I AIN'T HOISTED ONE
WITH YOU FOR A LONG TIME.
HARRY, THAT'S THE FIRS TIME YOU EVER HIT A MAN
WITH HIS HANDS DOWN.
YOU'VE BEEN HIT HARDER
THAN EVEN I THOUGHT.
YOU'RE MASSACRED.
STAND BY FOR
THAT FREIGHT'S SPRING LINE!
LET GO OF
YOUR SPRING.
CAST HER IN.
COME ON, GET THA GANGPLANK UP HERE.
HIYA, CHILI!
HARRY!
OH, HARRY,
HARRY.
I'VE BEEN COUNTING
THE TIME, TOO, PAL.
EVERY SECOND.
DID YOU COUNT EVERY SECOND, HARRY?
I MIGHT HAVE MISSED A
MOMENT, BABY, HERE AND THERE.
DON'T TELL ME
ABOUT THEM.
STILL LOVE ME
BEST?
I MEAN, MINNIE THE BEST AND ME SECOND?
LOOK, SEE THEM
FOOTPRINTS OF YOURS?
SAY GOOD-BYE TO THEM.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK IN
THEM WHEN YOU LEAVE, HARRY.
YOU'RE CRAZY
WITH THE HEAT.
I'VE QUIT THE SHIP.
I'M WASHED.
I'M QUITTING EVERYTHING,
RIGHT TO LEFT, LEFT-
I MEAN RIGHT AND LEFT.
I'M SPITTIN' COTTON.
HEY, NICK!
CHAMPAGNE!
I WANT TO GET THE BAD
TASTE OF THIS MUD SCOW
OUT OF MY MOUTH.
BLOW YOUR PERFUME
AT ME, PAL.
I'M SICK OF
SMELLING SAILORS.
CHAMPAGNE NEVER TO SAY GOOD-BYE AGAIN.
CHAMPAGNE TO SAY
HELLO AND HELLO.
HELLO, HELLO!
TO CHILI,
MY DEAR OLD HOMESTEAD.
TO THE DEAR OLD HOMESTEAD
AND DEAR ME IN IT.
MMM, MMM.
OK!
TELL TIME IT CAN STOP.
STOP, TIME!
SHE STOP?
ALL ANCHORED, BABY.
NOW, NOW SAY
YOU LOVE ME.
I LOVE YA.
BETTER.
GOOD.
NO GIRL
LAUGHS AT ME?
I'M ALL YOURS, BABY.
HEY, LET'S GO. WHERE'S RENO AROUND HERE?
RENO? WHO'S SHE?
HA HA! RENO'S
NO GIRL, BABY.
LIKE MINNIE,
ANOTHER SHIP?
A LITTLE CITY,
BIGGEST LITTLE CITY
IN THE WORLD.
RENO SOUNDS SWEET.
LET'S GO TO RENO.
OK, EMILY.
EMILY?
OH.
DON'T TELL ME
EMILY'S A SHIP.
DON'T TELL ME EMILY'S A LITTLE CITY!
THE GOOD SHIP EMILY.
NO!
THE GOOD OLD TOWN
OF EMILY, NEVADA.
NO!
ALL RIGHT,
EMILY'S A GIRL.
WE GOT MARRIED
AND DIVORCED.
SE?OR PATTERSON,
IS IT NOT?
IT IS.
AND I BROUGHT YOU
SOME OF THE KID'S THINGS.
AH. YEAH, THE KID FLUNKED.
AND US GUYS THA DIDN'T PRAY WAS PASSED.
YES, I HAD
THE SAME THOUGH WHEN I WAS IN
SAIL LONG AGO.
THE BEST AND THE
BRAVEST, THEY ARE TAKEN.
THAT'S RIGHT,
A DIRTY GYP.
BUT HE SHOVED OFF
WITH A LAUGH.
SEEMS LIKE HE JUST UP
AND WALKS AWAY ON THE SEA.
OH, SIT DOWN.
THIS IS MY MARIA.
SE?ORITA.
HOLA, SE?OR.
LONG AFTER YOUR SHIP
HAD DROPPED FROM SIGHT,
SHE STOOD AND WAVED AT THE EMPTY SEA.
ATTABOY,
MY STATUE.
A KINDLY ACT,
SE?OR.
I THANK YOU.
TO A SAILOR.
AND HIS EVENING STAR.
OK, GRANDPA!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
GREAT-GRANDPA.
OK, GREAT-GRANDPA.
LET'S ALL GET STIFF.
I'M SORRY I CANNOT JOIN YOU, SAILOR,
I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT FOR SUPPER.
UH-OH. WHO IS SHE?
MY GRANDCHILDREN, MY GREA - GRANDCHILDREN,
MY CHILDREN,
AND MY WIFE.
HOLY MOSES-
ALL LIVING
IN ONE HOUSE?
ON MY RANCH
IN THE HILLS.
BUT I SEE
THAT YOU ARE
WELL-FORTIFIED,
TOO, SE?OR.
DO WE DRINK AGAIN TO A HAPPY FUTURE
AND A LOT OF
CHILDREN?
NAH, NO,
NO CHILDREN,
NO GARDENS.
THE ONLY FLOWER THA GROWS IN A GARDEN
IS FAMILIARITY.
AND THEY SAY
IT BREEDS CONTEMPT.
AGAIN, I HAD THE SAME
THOUGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
YOU AND I WOULD HAVE
HAD A HIGH TIME ONCE.
AND FINISHED,
AS ALWAYS,
WITH A HEADACHE
IN THE HEART.
HARRY WAS MARRIED,
SE?OR.
OH?
YEAH, YEAH,
I TOOK A WHACK AT IT.
HOW LONG, HARRY?
3 DAYS.
QUITE A WHACK.
DON'T REGRE A MINUTE OF IT.
ONE LONG LAUGH.
SHE'D THROW A KISS
WITH ONE HAND
AND A ROCK
WITH THE OTHER.
HA! THAT SCREWBALL!
"OH," SHE SAYS,
"YOU CHEATED THA NICE LITTLE MAN.
GOOD-BYE!"
JUST SCIENTIFIC,
DARLING.
"AND I WON' STEAL A CHICKEN!
GOOD-BYE!"
I LOVE YOU,
DARLING.
"OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ON MY ROOF?
STOP PAINTING MY ROOF!
GOOD-BYE!"
SHE WAS ALWAYS SAYING
GOOD-BYE TO ME
FROM THE MOMEN I MET HER! HA!
THAT SCREWBALL.
A CHARMING,
VIOLENT LADY.
WELL, SE?OR...
NO, NO,
DON'T GO.
I HAVE
MY ENGAGEMENT.
THE MADHOUSE
IN THE HILLS?
IT IS MAD, NO DOUBT,
BUT PEACEFUL,
AND IT SHOULD BE A LITTLE
VIOLENT TO BE PEACEFUL.
YEAH?
MY WIFE AND I LIVE
FAMILIARLY AS TWO OLD SHOES,
YET WE LIVE
IN CONFLICT.
WE LIVE TO MAKE
EACH OTHER LAUGH,
AND THE CHILDREN
ARE OUR AUDIENCE.
WE ARE GREATER STRANGERS
THAN THE DAY WE MET,
AND THUS, MY FRIEND,
FAMILIARITY
BREEDS BEAUTY.
ADIOS, SE?OR.
SE?ORITA.
HE'S GOOD.
THE OLD BOY'S GOOD.
YES, HARRY.
HE'S VERY GOOD.
YEAH, YOU'RE 193, AND
YOU CAN PULL THAT STUFF.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
BACK TO HER?
HA! WHERE DO WE GO
FROM HERE?
I LEFT!
I GOT LAUGHED OUT.
I WASN' LAUGHING AT YOU.
IT WASN'T YOU
WHO WAS LAUGHING.
IT'S SHE-
LAUGHING AT ME.
ADIOS, HARRY.
HEY!
MARIA, HEY!
MARIA!
HEY!
HA HA!
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING
GOOD-BYE TO ME.
NICK!
COME ON, WHAT'LL YOU HAVE,
EVERYBODY?
IT'S LIKE I SAY, RED-
A GUY CAN FORGE ANYTHING.
A BIG, STRONG GUY
LIKE YOU? SIMPLE.
TIME DOES IT.
TIME AND DISTANCE.
DON'T I KNOW.
AIN'T I TOLD YOU,
HARRY?
SURE.
I'LL BET YOU CAN'T EVEN
REMEMBER THE GUY'S FACE
OR NOTHIN'
HE EVER SAID.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
HE WAS A SOFT-TALKING HEEL FROM ALABAMA
WITH A DIMPLE
IN HIS CHIN,
AND I FORGOT HIM
LIKE THAT.
JUST LIKE THAT.
AND YOU AIN' A SAILOR.
A SAILOR'S GOT PLENTY
OF OCEAN-
10,000 MILES
OF THE STUFF.
AND TIME,
THAT DOES IT. TIME.
GOOD OLD TIME.
GOD BLESS TIME,
I SAY.
IT'S BETTER THAN
BOOZE OR DOPE.
THE DOCS AIN'T GO NOTHING
COMPARED TO WHA A FEW MONTHS WILL DO.
OR YEARS.
SOMETIMES
YOU NEED YEARS.
NOT ME.
THAT DEPENDS ON WHO
YOU'RE FORGETTING.
I DON'T WISH TO APPEAR
DOGMATIC, MY DEAR HARRY,
BUT IT DOES DEPEND
ON WHO YOU FORGET.
THERE AIN'T A DAME ON EARTH
I CAN'T FORGET IN 6 MONTHS.
OK, OK.
YOU FALL IN LOVE
WITH A DAME,
AND SHE WANTS TO PLAN TREES IN YOUR HEART.
TO SHADE A POTATO PATCH THA SHE'LL WATER WITH YOUR BLOOD.
HARRY...
HARRY,
MUDGIN'S HURT.
HE FELL OFF
THE SHIP.
OK, THROW HIM
BACK AGAIN.
BUT, HARRY, HE'S LAYIN' ON THE DOCK
WITH HIS WHOLE
SIDE CAVED IN!
TELL THE CAPTAIN I DON' FALL FOR THAT STUFF.
TELL HIM MUDGIN
AND I PARTED COMPANY.
HARRY, CAPTAIN WAS SAILING
WITHOUT YOU, BUT NOT MUDGIN.
HE JUMPED SHIP
TO FIND YOU.
I AIN'T SEEN MUDGIN SO
CRAZY SINCE HE LOST HIS SOUL!
THIS BETTER BE
ON THE LEVEL.
HERE, PAL,
20 BUCKS.
WHAT FOR?
GOOD CONVERSATION.
OK, BOYS,
TAKE HIM ABOARD.
HOW IS HE, DOC?
STOP JARRIN' HIM.
'COURSE...
IRELAND IS...
AND ME WASH SPITOONS
FOR SEAN AGAIN.
THE SEA... SHIPS...
GOOD-BYE, DARLIN'.
LOOK OUT!
TORPEDO, TORPEDO!
OK, MUDGE, OK.
LAY STILL AND REST.
OH, IT'S YOU, HARRY.
YEAH.
HERE, WANT SOME
WATER?
WHERE'S THE SKY?
AND THE WIND
BLOWIN'?
WE'RE ON THE SHIP,
MUDGE.
BOUND FOR FRISCO.
FRISCO?
THEN I'LL GO
ON DECK NOW.
NO, NO, NO.
TAKE IT EASY.
BUT A MAN MUSTN' DIE IN THIS RATHOLE.
YOU AIN'T GONNA DIE.
INDEED, NOW?
LET'S TAKE HIM
ON DECK, HARRY.
COULDN'T MAKE HIM
NO WORSE.
YEAH, IF WE
DONE IT CAREFUL.
OK. OK.
THE SKY...
THE WIND...
MUDGE, WE'RE OUT OF
THE RATHOLE.
I KNOW IT.
WELL, TAKE A LOOK.
I'M SCARED TO...
AND ASHAMED.
NOTHING TO FEEL
THAT WAY ABOUT.
THE FOG-
THE FOG'S
CLOSIN' IN,
AND I AIN'T GO MY SOUL-
MY WEEPIN'
IMMORTAL SOUL.
YOU NEVER LOST IT,
MUDGE.
YES, I DID.
ON POWELL STREET.
A TINY LIGHT,
A LITTLE STAR.
I'M IN
THE DARK NOW.
ALL BY MYSELF,
AND NOT EVEN A MATCH TO
STRIKE ON MY BRITCHES.
A DISGRACE
TO IRELAND.
AYE...
DID YOU FEEL IT,
HARRY?
DID IT TOUCH YOU?
SURE, MUDGE, SURE.
TELL ME SOMETHING-
MY SOUL, HE GIVE I BACK TO ME.
THAT'S RIGHT,
MUDGE.
NEAR ENOUGH.
AIN'T YOU GO UP THERE YET?
OH, YOU STILL LOOSE?
NOTHING EVER
CHANGES.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL TAKE A CHANCE.
BROTHER,
YOU'RE DUE.
I'LL HANG AROUND
A FEW MINUTES,
IN CASE YOU COME
OUT ON YOUR EAR.
OK.
HI, HELEN.
EMILY!
HI, PAL.
EM! EM!
WHERE IS SHE?
SHE DON'T LIVE HERE
ANYMORE.
WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?
WHY?
HEY, WHAT'S
EATING YOU?
WHAT KIND OF
A GREETING IS THIS?
GREET YOU?
I GREET YOU?
I COULD CUT YOUR THROAT, YOU RAT!
AND I COULD
CUT MINE, TOO!
THAT MORNING
FROM RENO IN THERE-
THAT DAY OF
THE BIG CELEBRATION
AND ALL THAT STUFF
I PULLED ABOUT-
ABOUT BEING SO HAPPY BECAUSE
YOU MADE HER FEEL SO HAPPY!
OH, BOY, ALL THOSE WORDS
CAME BACK AND BIT ME!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HELEN?
EMILY AND I PARTED
THE BEST PALS GOING.
SHE DON'T KNOW
YOU'RE ALIVE!
SHE'D DIVORCED.
SHE'S RID OF YOU.
SHE'S ALL RIGHT,
AND YOU LEAVE HER ALONE.
YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!
THERE'S MY CAB.
WHERE YOU GOING?
WHERE YOU GOING?
GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
WHERE YOU GOING?
HEY-HEY, I THOUGH THAT OTHER DAME-
HURRY, DRIVER, HURRY.
HEY, WHAT IS?
YOU TELL ME WHERE EMILY
IS, AND I'M NOT KIDDIN'.
I'LL TELL YOU.
SHE'S HAVING A BABY!
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT?
A BABY?
YEAH, A BABY.
EVER HEARD OF THEM?
WELL, THIS IS IT!
WHAT'S THE IDEA OF HER HAVING
A BABY, AND ME NOT KNOWING IT?
IF I'M A FATHER,
I'M A FATHER.
WHERE IS SHE?
WE'RE GOING THERE.
THE FARM.
WELL, YOU WAI TILL I GET THERE.
COME ON, STEP ON IT!
GET GOING!
YES, FATHER.
I'M GOING
TO TOWN. STICK AROUND.
YEAH, HE WON'T BE
WITH US LONG.
THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS LEAVE HER ALONE NOW.
YEAH? WELL, IT'S ON YOUR HEAD.
THE DOCTOR SAYS SHE'S IN
NO CONDITION TO BE UPSET.
I'M HANDLING THIS.
HELLO,
MISS MELOHN.
HOW IS SHE?
SHE SEEMS
FINE.
NO, NO,
I'M SORRY.
NO VISITORS.
I AIN'T NO VISITOR,
TOOTS.
CHIEF SURGEON,
MERCHANT MARINE.
HE IS?
NO, IT'S HIM-
THE BIG BOSUN.
OH.
DON'T SEE IT. WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?
SAID THERE'S
A TREE IN HERE.
OH. IS THAT I OUT THERE?
IT'S A BIG TREE.
ONE NIGHT I MET A GIRL
UNDERNEATH IT.
SHH! SHH!
SHH! SHH!
WE'RE IN THE LIBRARY,
AT THAT.
I'M JUST WHISTLING
FOR DRINKS.
HA HA HA HA!
HIYA, PAL!
REMEMBER ME?
I WOULDN'T KNOW YOU,
YOU'VE CHANGED SO.
HOW DO YOU DO,
MR. PATTERSON?
HOW DO YOU DO?
YOU DON'T LOOK
NO DIFFERENT, BABY.
HEY, I GOT THE NEWS
FROM DEAR OLD HELEN.
CONGRATULATIONS,
PAL.
OH.
ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU?
UH-HUH.
I'M FINE, I'M FINE.
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE
READING IN THIS LIGHT.
YOU WANT TO RUIN
YOUR EYES? HMM?
NO AIR!
HEY...
WHEN'S THIS SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN, PAL?
IT COULD HAVE
HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
WELL, WHAT'S
THE IDEA?
WHY AIN'T YOU IN A
HOSPITAL, WHERE YOU BELONG?
THIS AIN'T NO SETUP.
A FARM,
A HICK DOCTOR.
YOU KNOW WHO'LL TAKE THE
RAP IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG?
ME.
SUCH CONCERN, HARRY-
I'M OVERCOME.
BUT I WAS BORN
IN THIS BED,
AND DR. ASHLON
WAS MY DOCTOR.
I SEE. DR. ASHLON
WAS YOUR DOCTOR,
NOW HE'S MY DOCTOR.
AN OLD MAN TRIPPING
ON HIS BEARD.
NOT A CHANCE.
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
HMM?
JUST AS FRESH
AS EVER.
A DAME'S GONNA HAVE A BABY,
SHE USUALLY WRITES A GUY,
DON'T SHE?
SOMETIMES A GIRL...
GETS WRITER'S CRAMP,
HARRY.
YEAH?
WELL, IT WASN' THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
HA!
I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHAT I WOULD BE LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
HOW IS IT?
OH, IT'S JUST... GAY.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT DOESN'T HURT.
NOT TO BE HUR HURTS MORE.
I GUESS I DON' GET YOU.
THAT BIG TREE.
YOU MET A GIRL
UNDER IT, HARRY.
THAT FIRST NIGHT,
THAT FIRST KISS...
THE MOON TURNED OVER, AND THE
FLOOD SPLASHED IN HER FACE.
WHERE IS THAT GIRL?
I DON'T SEE MYSELF
IN YOUR EYES, HARRY.
HARRY.
YEAH?
WILL YOU MARRY ME,
HARRY?
SURE THING,
ANYTIME!
RIGHT TO LEFT,
LEFT TO RIGHT.
YOU WOULDN'T MARRY ME IF I ASKED YOU TO.
OH, PROBABLY WOULD.
I WAS ALONE FOR A LONG
WHILE BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG,
AND I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR A
LONGER WHILE SINCE YOU LEFT.
I KNOW THERE'LL NEVER BE
ANOTHER MAN UNDER A TREE FOR ME.
FUNNY, ALL THAT TALK
OF TREES AND LIBRARIES.
THERE SHOULD BE A REAL
TREE, FOR A MINUTE.
WELL, PAL,
I'LL HAND YOU ONE.
I'LL NEVER KISS ANOTHER
GIRL UNDER A TREE, EITHER.
WE JUST MISSED,
DIDN'T WE?
HOW LONG YOU STAYING
THIS TIME, HARRY?
OH, I GOT A COUPLE
OF WEEKS, WITH LUCK.
GOOD.
HOW ARE THE BOYS?
OH, AND HARRY,
HOW'S MY MUDGIN?
HE'S OK.
HE, UH,
FOUND HIS SOUL.
OH?
IT HAD WINGS
ON HIM.
FLEW AWAY
WITH HIM.
YOU MUST MISS HIM
TERRIBLY.
AW, HE'S JUS A PAL OF MINE.
HE'S A PAL
OF MINE, TOO.
HE CALLED ME
QUEEN DIERDRE.
THAT POOR LOST POE WHO HAD THE STRENGTH
OF A BOSUN.
HE WAS STRONG
ENOUGH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH...
A FRIEND OF OURS
WANTS TO SEE US.
OH...
NURSE! NURSE!
PAIN?
YEAH. WHERE ARE YOU?
GET IN THERE, WILL YOU?
IT HIT HER
JUST LIKE A KNIFE.
WELL, THAT'S WHA WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
THAT'S GREAT. YOU'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR IT.
HARRY!
SHE ALL RIGHT?
YES, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT A LITTLE BOY,
HARRY!
BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE
HIM, YOU BETTER HURRY!
CYANOSIS, DOCTOR.
NORMAL
PREGNANCY, NORMAL BIRTH,
BUT HE DOESN' BREATHE.
TELL ME WHY.
YOU'RE JUST OUT OF
JOHNS HOPKINS, AIN'T YOU?
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
TELL ME WHY.
GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M HIS FATHER.
FATHER? YOU ARE?
OXYGEN.
OXYGEN GOT TO...
ANY CHANCE, DOC?
I DON'T KNOW.
JOHNS HOPKINS
DOESN'T KNOW.
ADRENALINE.
MAYBE SOME MORE
DOCTORS-
DON'T TALK LIKE
A FOOL!
50 SECONDS BETWEEN
LIFE AND DEATH,
AND HE CALLS
FOR MORE DOCTORS.
OUR BABY.
AND WE DID IT.
DON'T EVEN GIVE GOD
CREDIT FOR A LITTLE HELP.
I- I'M PRAYING.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHY HE SHOULD HEAR YOU.
MOOCHERS, ALL OF US.
TAKE HIS LOAN OF LIFE
AND NEVER WORK IT OUT,
NEVER PAY HIM BACK.
SQUANDERED
HIS SUNSHINE
ON MISERABLE
TWO-LEGGED BEASTS,
LEND HIS WORLD TO
BIOLOGICAL MISFITS-
DEAF, DUMB, BLIND.
MAKE HIM BREATHE, DOC.
COME ON.
GRAB IT, SONNY.
WORK YOUR LUNGS.
CYANOSIS, DOCTOR. MORE OXYGEN.
YEAH,
THAT'LL DO IT.
IT WORKED IN THE PAST,
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
YEAH.
PIN CLOUDS OF GLORY ON
HIM WITH A HYPO NEEDLE.
SYRINGE MUSIC
IN HIS EARS.
DROP STARS
IN HIS EYES.
AND...
AND I GUESS HE COULDN'T DO IT FOR US.
HIS LITTLE
IMMORTAL SOUL IS-
BREATHE!
BREATHE FOR US, PAL.
COME ON, BOY.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
TO YOUR MOTHER.
COME ON WITH IT!
YOU GOT TO DO IT FOR ME!
BREATHE.
FOR YOUR MOTHER.
ATTABOY.
ATTABOY!
HARRY!
HARRY!
YOU HEAR HIM?
HE'S HERE.
HE'S HERE
TO STAY.
I HEARD YOU, HARRY.
I HEARD YOU.
LISTEN TO HIM.
YES.
YOUNG HARRY PATTERSON.
YOUNG MUDGIN PATTERSON.
OH, YES.
YES.
YOUNG WILLIAM MUDGIN
PATTERSON.
YOUNG MUDGIN.
BIG HARRY.
EMILY.
AND A TREE.