After Party (2017) Movie Script

[people chattering] -[woman on phone] Hey.
-I'm at the gallery,
where are you? [woman]
Why would I be at the gallery? -It's your gallery.
-[woman on phone indistinct] He's not here either,
by the way. -[woman] Who?
-Alan Paloma. [woman]
Alan doesn't
go to the openings. -He will be at my place later.
-OK, but you're sure
he's coming? [woman] How many times
do we have to go over this? -OK, I just need to be sure.
-Just get your ass over here. -What about the opening?
-Fuck the opening. [upbeat music plays] [man] Watch it! [yells]
Oh, fuck. What the hell is wrong with you? Holy shit, I'm so sorry. -What happened to looking?
-Are you OK? What can I do?
Can I call someone? [sighs]
This is a custom bike. Goddammit! Fucking hell. This is a custom bike! Did you hear what I said? -About how expensive it is?
-No, you could've hurt somebody. You know how many people
are killed in accidents
every year just like this. You're trivializing
a very serious issue. What is this? [camera snaps] This is what
you look at right now. I'm sorry. I really am. OK, fine,
just be careful. I will, promise. -Be careful.
-I promise. [man indistinct] Rachel reads
Ryan's raunchy writing. Rachel reads
Ryan's raunchy writing. Rachel reads
Ryan's raunchy writing. Rachel reads
Ryan's raunchy writing. Raunchy writing. -[music playing]
-[doorbell rings] Wr... wr... wr... writing. [doorbell rings] Gavin, get the door! Was that the door? Julia? [knocking] Gavin! Holy shit. This is Charlie's apartment? Lan, what's up? [both chuckle] Good to see you. Lana, this is my friend, Julia. Lana, is one of Charlie's
new friends. -Mm, not that new.
-[both chuckle] So, what, did you meet Charlie
at some stupid art world thing? Uh, no. Well, yeah, I guess, kind of. Lana's a photographer. Oh, is that what's
in the portfolio, nudes? Not nudes. [Gavin sighs] -Here.
-Oh. Ignore her, she's an only child. Oh, I brought wine. -Oh...
-[woman] Is that Lana? -Hey, Charlie.
-[Charlie]
Can you make me a drink? What would Charlie drink? [laughs]
Literally anything. So, what's up with you, Charlie
said something about this play. I'm doing a one-man version of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Doesn't that have a huge cast? It did. I'm totally reinventing it. [laughs] Jesus! Dim the lights! Not for you. That woman in there,
watch out for her. She's got shark eyes. I don't know why Gavin
finds her so amusing. She's brain dead. Are you and Gavin...
together now? He's fun. His one-man-show thing
is exciting. His one-man-show thing
is not a real thing. Anyway, what did you think
about the gallery tonight? Come on... tell me.
What did you think? That sort of thing
is over my head. -Um... it's pretty aggressive.
-Stupid. You can say it. I thought it was just me. Oh, it is just you. People think their shit...
is amazing. They're into violence. The juxtaposition of America's, blah, blah, blah... Look, they're just a couple
of party-boy dingbats, but they might also be geniuses,
I'm not sure. But they are definitely going
to be huge, people love them. Stupidity sells, Lana. It's... it's why you're poor. Speaking of which... Hmm... What? Relax, Lana, it's good. I hadn't seen
some of this newer work. I like it. You hardly looked at it. Lana, I don't have to look
at art to know that it's good. OK, look... This one... -Twelve-feet wide, right?
-You think so? Yes. Alan loves this shit. I worked for the man
for four years, I know him
better than his wife. Let's get some shots. Charlie...
two minutes. I just wanna get this right. Then have a drink. We shouldn't have to
do this at a party. Can't we just set up a meeting
with him at his gallery? Lanny, he doesn't exactly
keep office hours. He's not a college professor. This, out there,
that's how you do business. I'm doing you a favor. All right, well,
what do you think? What'll Alan like? Alan is going to like you. So, stop being so worried. I just really need
something to give, you know, I feel like I'm constantly
on the edge of something. I got a call the other day
to shoot photos for the city's best cupcakes. Work is work. They wanna pay me
in cupcake coupons. You just need champagne. No, I don't, seriously. When Alan gets here I wanna have
a serious conversation with him about my career,
I can't be wasted. You drink... I'll pick your art. That a girl. Start with that one, I love it. Then those two and those. These you don't have to
bother with. See? Wasn't that easy?
Perfect, done. Thanks, seriously, thank you. I have something special. And I want you to see it,
come on. You hung these! Of course, they're good. If you're gonna be an artist,
you gotta learn
how to play it cool when you see your own art. Besides, this is
what I wanted to show you. [screams] Jesus, Charlie! This is fucking awesome! Don't point a gun at me, ever. It's not loaded, is it? Of course, it's loaded, Lana. I'm not a hypocrite. [gasps]
Be careful with that. Oh... you think I'm gonna
give myself diabetes. OK, give it to me. Violence, Lana,
it's called a theme. -I'm taking it now.
-No. You're just gonna
leave that out? Killjoy. Safe as kittens. And just so there are
no misunderstandings... There. Now, it's fashion. [woman]
Hello? Where is everyone? -Hello.
-Hey! -Look at you.
-I know, I'm a blimp. [Julia]
No, way, you look amazing. -[Gavin] Yeah.
-You know what's amazing? No matter what time I get here,
I'm always the first one
to arrive. Prettiest fat girl at the party. Hi. What are you doing here? We can't both miss our opening. The girls can close it up. Is that one of Tony's? I've been looking
for that painting? Wow, sounds like
you're gonna be...
super fun tonight. I'm trying to sell
that painting, Charlie. You shouldn't even be here. I need a drink. Enjoy the show? Hi, I wanted to
introduce myself. Yeah, why? No one has
a regular beer anymore. I'm Lana, we met once before. Adrian Tyler's girlfriend. No... Just a friend of
Charlie's. -Filmmaker.
-Photographer. Right. Charlie was just
talking about you. You know...
maybe you could help me out. Do you think you could
get me some alone time...
to talk to Charlie? Why don't you just
talk to her yourself? We're business partners, it's...
complicated. No, it's better if you tell her
she should talk to me. Tell her you think
it's important. [glasses clink] So, Oberon comes out, and he's like this
Jersey goombah, right. And he's, like, "Yo, I met by moonlight,
proud Titania, And his wife, Titania,
she's like right out of one of these Housewivesshows. and she's like,
"What? Fucking jealous, Oberon, fucking fairies, skip hence, I have forsworn
to his fucking bed and company." It's all Shakespeare though,
I'm just adding the fuckings. No one cares about
your play, Gavin. God, he's so obsessed. There's really
a little person in there? Yeah, there's a little
person in there. Pregnant women are so sexy. Julia, that's enough. Why don't you have
some more champagne? [scoffs]
I'm not drinking tonight,
I'm on a cleanse. -OK, Gavin...
-Hey, Jules, let's go. -He's cute.
-Yeah. So is she. Yeah. Which one are you fucking? In which sense of the word? Unbelievable. [chattering] [woman]
You made it. It's so great to see you. You look great.
Have you been working out? Oh! Congratulations! You ask before you touch. -May I...
-No, no, no, no. -Go away. Go away.
-But I asked. -No, no, no.
-[sighs] OK. That was rude. Well, it was nice
meeting you both. Oh, thanks. But, you know,
that's just in the first act, but after that...
Lana! -Where the hell have you been?
-Oh, you know, party stuff. Walk away, walk away. Can you just be me for the night
so that I can go home? We're too cute
to leave this party. No. I'm gonna
turn you over to Julia. Jules, look after this one. Make sure she has fun. Hmm-hmm. Hmm.
[giggles] Let's get into some trouble!
[laughs] -Trouble?
-Yeah. This thing Abby said to me, we literally met
four times already, and I said, "Well, you must not
have left a big... You people can't be out here. This is a common space. It's a common space,
you can't smoke... in a common space. That's a wild helmet. Why does it smell like piss? Are you putting your cigarette
butts out on the carpet? Is that OK?
You can't do that! It's carpet, it burns. See, and then I never again
forgot her name after that. Excuse me, do you know
where Charlotte is? Ahh... [both giggling] We should talk to boys. This is more of, like,
a networking party, you know. Are there even any boys
to talk to? Look around.
There are tons of boys here. Hey, ladies. Hi. I'm Amesh. Lana. Nice to meet you. -Julia.
-Julia? A pleasure. Ohh, not yet. [both laughing] Right. What do you do, Lana? She is a photographer. Mm... Nudes? Right? -Exactly, right?
-Not nudes. -Not nudes.
-You should do nudes,
there's more money in nudes. Totally, I've got
five nudes in my office. Oh, I'm a dentist. Bam! [chuckles] Come see me. Seriously, I'd love to
get in your mouth. How do you feel about
throwing a man off a building? As like an art-thing? No, this is a murder-thing. My new upstairs neighbor just
came down, he's a total loser. They're trying to turn
the building into a co-op. Actually, they want to turn
the entire fucking city
into a co-op. They wanna kick me out, Lana. You should do a story on me.
Photoshoot with me. Uh... -I was talking to Dennis.
-Why? Why would you do that? -He was being weird.
-Yeah, he's Dennis. Well, he says he needs to
talk to you, sounded serious. Nothing that idiot has to say
is ever serious. I can't make you have fun
at this party. I want to but... don't get caught
in his bullshit, OK. Doesn't matter, it's over. So, what do you do, Julia? Depends on how drunk I get. I'm a PhD candidate in biology. Oh, for real? This is Gavin.
I'm basically his muse. Kind of like, Amelia Fluga.
[indistinct] -[laughing]
-I don't know who that is. I studied coil displays
in mammals. Oh... well, I find that subject
very interesting. -[chuckles]
-Most men do. I study fucking hyenas. I mean, hyenas who are fucking, and the females have a penis. Which is a faux-phallus. Say that three times fast. [both] Faux-phallus,
faux-phallus, faux-phallus. [all laughing] You two should have
your own podcast. [clears throat] Are you Gavin? Have we met? Is there something funny? [laughing] This... isn't funny. [laughing] [Charlie] You're not gonna
get very far with him that way. Are you aware
that there is smoking happening
in the common spaces? -Oh, my God, the common spaces!
-Yes, yeah, the common space... -The hallways, the staircases.
-Jesus-fucking-Christ,
what's wrong with you? No. No, no, Dunley vs. Barr. I... I'm sorry, what? 2005, civil court case,
New York State. A private nuisance
cause of complaint
can be brought by a tenant against a landlord,
or another tenant, for second-hand
smoke conditions inside-- This is a party.
This is a goddamn fucking party. Have you never been
to a fucking party before? Mm... Perfect, Lana, can you
escort this gentlemen out? OK, now I get it. You get your friends
to assault me in the street? -Oh, my God.
-What kind
of sick fucks are you? I... I'm sorry,
what are you talking about? Do you know this... person? I kinda ran into him. Listen... I'm not turning down the music, and I'm not ending
my fucking party early. Your friend has thrown a party
every night this week. She has people
pissing in the stairwells. -It's disgusting.
-I totally get it. Yeah, so what
are we gonna do about it? Sabotage? OK, the thing is,
this is kind of
an important night for Charlie. Oh... Oh, it's an important night. Oh, well, then by all means,
let's piss everywhere. Let's piss right here
in the kitchen right now. -I'm gonna take a piss.
-[applause] Thank you, everyone, for coming. Thank you even more
for making tonight such
a huge success at the gallery. But, most importantly, I wanna thank you
for all the bad decisions I know you're gonna make
later on tonight. [all laughing and clapping] Oh, and the handgun
in the study... No need for concern. I would like to
direct your attention to our very over-qualified
safety coordinator, Lana Carter,
ladies and gentlemen. [applause] Anyway, thank you all
for being upstanding
and responsible citizens. Oh, and, know this... Be good... or be good at it. [man] Whoo! Drinks, everybody. Is that a joke? The gun? No, she's serious. What is wrong with you people? It's art.
Charlie owns a gallery. A loaded gun isn't art,
a loaded gun is dangerous. [groans] Sorry I said anything. You know how many people die
every year -from things like that?
-God, you're still here? It's like the bike thing
all over again. -Are you always like this?
-No. No, no. You can't turn this
around on me. I'm actually pretty cool guy. Yeah, ask anybody. Well, nobody here... obviously. It's a party. People dance, people drink,
people get loud. -I can't believe you're actually
making me defend this.
-So, you agree with me? No, I'm doing
the exact opposite
of agreeing with you. -People like you
can have this city.
-What does that mean? It means that
you all deserve each other. You can be self-righteous
with all the other world-class pricks
that can afford this town. Yeah, these narcissistic,
sycophantic, pretentious-- Oh, my God,
you're a buzzword factory. Is there something about me
you particularly hate? Just go pick on someone else. Hey, does that work for you? Nagging? I mean,
do you get chicks with that? 'Cause my friend, Ando,
you know, he swears by it. He's practically scraping
the pussy off him, you know. He's... Cheers. Oh, those shoes are hideous! Hey, I'm Amesh. Um, do you have a good dentist,
by any chance? Get off. Get off! I'm serious. This thing's a custom bike. Where's the helmet? Where's the... helmet? [turns music down] [people booing] It's loud enough, OK. Other people
live in the building. Do you like the photos? It looks like someone I know,
he's a DJ. His family was evicted from
the apartment they lived in
for 20 years, by developers, so they could
build the Barclays Center. Hmm... I saw Jay-Z there. Shh... May I please... I'm asking in my nicest...
sweetest voice. Please, hand my helmet back. If you promise to stop
being no fun. [people laughing in background] I promise...
to stop being no fun. [clears throat] Hmm.
[laughing] Excuse me. You're welcome. I got fired up
and your friend is a fucking... [sighs] I'm sorry. I'm angry at the wrong person. You're not the one treating me
like an asshole. -You hit me with a car.
-Part of a car. Fair enough. Do you have something awful
to say about these, too? You have the wrong idea
about me. I like these. What do you like about them? I don't know,
I'm not a critic, but there... There's a humanity here. They're real people. It's what I was going for. You took these? You're a photographer. Trying to be. Well, clearly, you already are. You can tell that to my boss.
I work at an ad agency. As a receptionist. It's not very glamorous,
but the pay is terrible, so... What do you do? Please, say something boring. -I'm a firefighter.
-Really? No. No, I'm a data scientist. Which means we use, um,
a bunch of collected data to use to make
predictive formulas for, uh... It's really way more
interesting than it sounds. I hope so. [both chuckle] Now, we have to a figure out
a way to apologize. Well, technically,
I already did, so... Right, sorry, uh... I'm sorry,
defensiveness runs in my family. And my family has dementia. [laughs] Shit, you're serious. -I'm Hollis.
-Oh, Lana. I like your artwork, Lana. I like your helmet, Hollis. -You do?
-No, not really. All right.
[chuckles] OK, yeah, there you are. Um, can I borrow you
for a second? Hey, so, um...
did you get a chance
to talk to Charlie? I told her to talk to you. I don't know,
why can't you just talk to her? Fucking kidding me. What's going on? Look... I just need 40 seconds
to tell her something. Can't...
Can't you do that for me?! Sorry, sorry. I'm just...
Wait, wait, just wait a second. -Wait a second, come here.
-You should just
take things more seriously. If something's wrong,
she'll listen, you're her business partner. Forget it. [people groaning] Hey, OK, hold on. This song depresses me. Oh... -[music turns on]
-[people cheering] You like it? That's lovely. Excuse me? Your necklace.
It's beautiful. It's Alexander Fandu. I... have no idea who that is. It's very expensive. Yes, it is. You know,
the thing about this piece is-- Do you have any coke? Excuse me? Cocaine.
Do you have any? No. Lovely meeting you. Light? What? Do you have a light? No. Do you like the painting? [clears throat]
I like the colors. They're very... big. OK, I... [clears throat] I, uh... think that this painting
has a lot of colors and some of them are green. Some of them aren't. And then this one
looks a lot like that one, just turned upside down. Which makes me feel... Feel? It makes you feel how? Like, like, the artist...
made two and then turn one
around. I don't know... I'm trying.
I'm trying looking at it, and I don't... I don't know. I'm trying.
It's just sort of a...
thing on the wall. [laughing] A thing... on the wall. This painting is by my husband. He's dead. At least he's dead to me. A thing... on a wall. I like it. Oh, hi.
I don't know if I've had
a chance to-- You look like a nice girl,
so, I'm going to stop you
right there. If you mention that I'm pregnant
or that I'm glowing or I'm the size of a small pony
or try to touch me, I'll break that champagne bottle
over your head. Would you think
any less of me if I asked you
to make me a drink? I don't know if I'm ready
to single-handedly
brain damage a baby. His father's mostly
responsible for that. Just let me hold it. Are you serving booze
to a pregnant woman? I appeal to her sense
of human decency. Oh. I didn't know
she had one of those. Hey, I thought we were
starting over. So, are you serving the drinks? I don't know, you're the one
dressed like a bartender. What... Now you have a problem
with the way I'm dressed. No, you should have
pride in your style. It's rebellious bookishness. -[scoffs]
-No, you should wear it
with pride, you're in a city of grown men
in children's clothing. God, you two, just fuck
and get it over with already. She's drunk, she doesn't
know what she's saying. [chuckles] Yeah. -So, you're still here.
-I guess I am. I'm as shocked as you are. So, should I make you one? Are you asking me to stay? This is the wine I brought. Mm... wine product? How bad can it be? Mm...
Oh, God, that's terrible. [laughs] That's the last time
I buy wine at a bodega. To Charlie,
may her party end early. Yeah, I'll drink to that. Oh, God. You think they'll ever
get tired of that? The view? No. I think when you're down there
on the streets, it's easy to forget
how great this place is. You know, except for that
it's completely awful. What do you think it was like
hundreds of years ago? Do you ever try to imagine it
when it was just trees? Bears, deer and bobcats. Was your third animal a bobcat? [both laughing] -Really?
-What do you want from me? It's freezing. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. What's up with the helmet? -[Hollis sighs]
-[Lana laughs] [chattering] -Oh...
-[laughing] Uh, this is either a lady or the daintiest man
in New York City. -I have been looking for you.
-Oh, hey. You haven't been
hiding from me now, have you? Why would I be hiding from you? [gasps] Mm... [moaning] [nervous chuckle] Uh... Can I have my finger back? Um... Oh, wow, you are... crazy. [laughs] But I'm the good crazy, right? I guess so. Tell me I'm the good crazy! You're, um... [laughing] I'm just... joking. Need help with that? No, I got it. Oh... oh! [laughing] Nice, very smooth. How long have you
been taking photographs? Hmm... I had a little Polaroid
camera in grade school. Taking pictures is the closest
I can get to... I wanna know something. And...
know it without being told, just know it in my heart. What about you? What about me? What do you know, Hollis? What do I know? Uh, it's my job to know things. Yeah, but that's different. You're using your head. Do you ever just know? What about that? I think it's easy
with photographs. I think it's the other stuff
that's hard, it's the...
the abstract stuff that's... [makes whooshing noise]
over my head. The thing is, it's all the same,
you're just trying... to uncover something
that's trying to get out. I mean, fuck if I know
what that thing's trying to say. [both chuckle] Hold this.
Give me that. -We're making art.
-Oh. This is art, right? -You know--
-Oh, that's art. OK, smile. Come on. please. Can you smile?
Wait, don't smile. It's more artistic
when you don't smile. [laughing]
It's perfect. [upbeat music] Do you think this painting is
worth more or less than my life? -One-hundred percent more.
-Wait, 100 percent more? It's worth double my life? -Take your life...
-Mm-hmm -add it by one more life.
-Double its value? -So, $30?
-[both laughing] Obviously worth less than... Everything OK? Yeah, um, can you get us
something decent to drink? Yeah... sure, what do you want? Oh... over there. You want something
from over here? -Yeah, mm-hmm.
-OK, what do you want? Surprise me. [whispers] Charlie... Charlie. Could you stop being crazy? Why is Adrian here? I don't control
his comings and goings. Oh, my God, it's you two. Oh, my God, no! And not for lack of him trying. That's not what he says. What? Well, he's a liar! Look, he's coming over here, could you just... Text me when Ellen gets here. Why don't you
just be less awkward? [clears throat]
Where are you going? And who's that boy? I'm just going
to use the bathroom. Now you are talking my language. Isn't she cute? Talented, young. -Charlie, great show tonight.
-[Charlie] Hi. Adrian. So, you a fan of Feesbot's work? Uh, I haven't seen it,
I didn't go, but I heard a lot about it. That's the important part. You know, for you, I mean. Yeah, of course. You should think about us
doing some business together. You know what, I'm not looking
for a new business partner. [scoffs] Dennis isn't
a business partner,
he's a liability. You know,
the thing about us is, well, we don't even
have to have sex. [clears throat] But I think we should. [both chuckle] Lana's right,
you're the fucking worst. [can pops open] "Vulva, sad dick, [indistinct] monster,
big dick... bitch tits." [inhaling] You're no fun. I thought you were gonna be fun. [sighs] Be fun! [sighs]
What's his name? The boy?
The boy we're avoiding,
his name? Adrian. Oh... really? [scoffs] So, did you fuck him
or you don't wanna fuck him? If you're avoiding a boy,
it's because you fucked him, or it's because
you don't wanna fuck him. We made out once. A little. Disastrous, Lana. Sweetheart... what are you doing here? You don't do drugs,
you hardly drink, and you're avoiding
all the boys. Honestly, Julia,
I have no fucking idea. Someone's in here. Lana? -Oh, it's a boy!
-It's a different boy. Oh, how many boys are there? [laughing] Go get him. -Lana?
-Yeah? You throwing a private party
in there? No, no, just give us a second. -I--
-Listen, I... -Sorry, go ahead.
-No, no, you go. If I did something-- No, no, you didn't do
anything wrong, trust me. Uh, just give me a second,
and then we can go back
to having fun, I promise. OK. I'm gonna go talk to some people
and try not to be an asshole. -Try being charming.
-Charming.
Hold on, let write that down. -[chuckles]
-I heard that. I'm sorry about this,
I just wasn't planning
on meeting anyone tonight. Any one interesting, I mean... That was the wrong way
of saying that, I... I don't really know
what I'm trying to say. I'm just really glad
that you're still here. Now would be a really great time
for you to say something. Hollis? Hollis? Disastrous, Lana. How many is that for you? Mm... one less than enough. I don't wanna be here all night. Why not? Oh, you're not enjoying this
impressive wasting of resources? I told Diana
we'd be home hours ago. I need you to go
talk to Charlie. -I told you,
I'll talk to Charlie--
-You told me you'd stand up to her
if you have to. Now, you have to. Have your drink, go and tell her
and let's go home. This is my business, too. So, let's be done
with this already. [sighs] Lana, you look like hell. Your ass is looking
fantastic though,
there's nothing wrong with that. Stop trying to be disgusting,
Adrian. It's a compliment, Lana.
You got pretty eyes
and a fantastic ass. -I'm gonna pretend like--
-I get it. I get it. Let's go get some oysters. -Adrian--
-We can talk about your career,
I know people. So, you wanna get
business oysters? Look, I can't
take you seriously,
if you don't take me seriously. I am being serious. Even if you don't wanna
see me anymore. I'm not seeing you now. Mm. Adrian, we have to establish
some ground rules because, clearly, we're going
to be seeing each other. -In bed?
-At events. Lana, we've got chemistry,
you've gotta admit that. [scoffs] All right, what's his name? -Whose name?
-The guy...
that you're blowing me off for. My life doesn't
revolve around men. And since you have to know,
and let's be completely
clear about this, it's none of your business. I'm meeting Alan Paloma. [laughing]
What? You're serious? Alan's not coming to this party,
are you crazy? Charlie set it up. Alan hates Charlie. Charlie hates Alan.
Alan steals Charlie's artists. Charlie would never
let the man in this building. You gotta smarten up, buttercup. I saw the helmet. J'adore. I love it. What do you think of this piece? What do you think it symbolizes? A monument to the penis, maybe? Hi... bunny rabbit. You look like a bunny rabbit. I don't like it
when you're scared, I like it
when you're happy, Lana. OK, whoa, all right. Why did you lie to me? I don't lie. Alan's not coming, is he? You know, what bothers me
is that you knew how badly
I wanted to meet him. What makes you think
he's not coming? You and Alan hate each other. Do I strike you
as the hating type? -Adrian said that you--
-Listen... [exhales] Adrian is a liar. Why would you believe
anything that man says? You asked me to help. This... this is how I can help. Yet, now you're making me feel
like you're doing me a favor. This is how
the world works, sweetie. So, get with the program. People like fun people,
so, be fun. I'm fun. I'm gonna...
I'm gonna give this to you and assume you know
what to do with it. [baby cooing] I think for my next project, I'm gonna do
a motorized unicycle. Lana... have you met Sasha? Sasha makes
artisanal motorcycles. Handmade. Wooden. They have a top speed of, um... [clears throat] Twenty-five miles an hour? I'm trying to get it up to 30. It was so nice to meet you, can you excuse us
for just a second. Apparently, and I wanna
make sure that I get
the phrasing right, there is a substantial chance
of them catching on fire. [laughs] OK, I get it. And, also, the starting price
is only $85,000, which is nice.
It's reasonable. You're the worst. Are we good? Yeah, yeah, um... I thought this party
was gonna be one thing and it turned out to be
a total fucking other thing, but, um, I... It was weird for a minute,
but I'm better now. Now, it's your turn. OK, um... I thought that I would be
sleeping right now... -[laughs]
-but instead of sleeping, like,
directly above us, I am here,
learning about motorcycles made out of various woods. -More than one?
-More than one. Yeah, pine for the handle bars -because it's softer, but...
-[laughing] Hey, hi... Hey. Oh, uh, yeah, hello? Yeah, yeah, this is Dr. Bakshu. Yeah, yeah, I was wondering,
uh, I wanted to get some
detailing done on my new Porsche. I'm getting some
work done on my Porsche. -It's a...
-Brother. -Huh?
-They're gay. What? [whispers] They're gay. They don't look gay. OK, they're not,
but they're not into you. But... that one in purple
was kinda into me. I'm just gonna go check it out. You ain't got no Porsche,
do you? -Yeah, I do.
-You do? -Yeah.
-What year? I live in Park Slope. Fucking parking would kill me. But, you know,
I got the key chains off eBay. -It's about eight bucks.
-Dude, are you serious? Yeah, it was $8.99, you know,
it was nine bucks. I don't get
what she sees in you. Who? Me. [giggles] -Oh. Hey.
-I have been looking for you. Yeah, you know, I wouldn't
do that if I were you. -Why's that?
-Uh, because... Because I'd be, like,
"I'm about to pee in my pants," -so, it's... [mumbles]
-Oh, come on, we'll take care of that. -OK.
-Coming? -I can go by myself.
-Nope. -[urinating]
-Ah... Oh, yeah. [clears throat] Want some? Ah... Come here. [chuckles] -Inhale.
-I don't know... [inhales] OK. I don't feel anything. You know, why do people do this? Boredom. -Yeah, I can see that.
-Inhale. [inhales]
[clears throat] Oh, shit. OK, OK, um... I feel it. [laughs] -Shut up.
-I... What? [exclaims] [both laughing] No... hold on... hold...
Oh, no. -[grunts]
-[gasps] There... there's a baby in here. Oh, I know
there's a baby in here. [grunts]
Yeah, let's put a baby in here.
[laughing] I don't... I don't really wanna
put a baby in there. Shh... [grunts]
You're so fun to fuck with. -OK.
-Let's take these off. -You know,
I am feeling a little--
-Shh... Shut up! No, no, I can't do this!
I can't do it! Stop! The baby's right there.
The baby's watching... -The baby's watching...
-[Julia grunting] Fuck, why am I so attracted
to nervous men? [stammering]
Did you...
did you close the door? Oh, I don't care if they watch. [both muttering] -Yeah, but...
-Come on! [laughs] [whimpering] Don't mind me. [sighs] Oh, come on, Amesh, relax. -[Julia laughs]
-OK. Smile. [stammers] I can't do this...
I can't. Oh, excuse me. Nice friends you have here,
Charlie. Meet me in the study. -[Charlie] Nice ass.
-Thank you. Close the door. You talk. You listen. -Dennis, you know--
-You listen. -Pam, what the fuck?
-Listen! OK, pregnant lady,
I'm listening. We're going out of business. [chuckles] By March, we won't make payroll. You're fucking crazy, Dennis. -We represent Matthew Davis.
-Davis left. You would know that
if you spent a little more
time at the gallery. Feesbot's leaving, too. -Bullshit.
-Well, they got a better offer. [Charlie] Then match it. How? Getting them to stay
is your job. I throw the parties,
I get the press, that is how
it has always worked. You see, Charlie,
that's the thing... it's never worked! You see, we need sales, right, not magazine clippings. So, what? We're done, we're finished,
it's over, like... No... I'm done. You and me... we're done. Sure, fine. But you're not taking my art. You know,
that's the thing, Charlie, none of this is your art! [Charlie laughing] Yes, that's the thing, it is, all of it is mine. [laughing]
And you, you're nothing. Bye-bye. [scoffs] You don't get it. Goodbye, Dennis. [Charlie]
I want you to be honest. Are you kidding me? I don't wanna
wait until you get here, I want to know right now. OK. Well, then at least promise me we can discuss it face-to-face
because you owe me that. If nothing else,
you owe me that. [indistinct chatter] There are so many dishonorable
people in this world. Ow! I don't work for you. Dammit. Hey, Lana. I was just here thinking about
you, and then... you walk in. Serendipitous. It's not that big
of an apartment. You know,
I don't take it personally when you don't return
my text messages. Maybe you should. I get it. I intimidate you. -No, you don't.
-Of course, I do. Look, you can't humiliate me
in front of these people. The only one
humiliating you is you. Look... I'm sorry. This is not the conversation
I wanted to have. Then let's not, OK. You know, we used to hang out
and just... just talk. Adrian, that was before
I knew you. We're running dangerously low
on champagne. What is this, Charlie? You're bleeding,
show me your mouth. Hmm... Come on. Hey, you all right? I'm being followed
by a crazy person. -Ignore him.
-Ignore him? Yeah, just ignore him, he's only
trying to make things weird. Make what weird,
how could it possibly--? Lana, I'm disappointed in you. I was at least expecting
someone with some taste. Do you wanna bother
telling me what happened? Artistic disagreement. Ow! Fuck! I'll take that as a no. Remember that old guy,
the one from Pegasus? I was telling him about
my one-man-show and he said I should come up
and do it for him sometime. Yeah, he's the real deal. I might actually
get to do this show. What? Don't, please. Who the fuck are you? Adrian. -Who the fuck am I?
-Hollis. [laughing] It's just, you know,
this whole one-man-show-thing. [laughs] I really don't care. It's that easy for you, huh? Hmm? I really cared about you,
did you know that? And now you don't have to. Lucky you. Why don't we just
get out of here? Huh? Who the fuck is this guy? -Does anyone here know?
-Do you wanna go? Who the fuck are you?
What the fuck
have you ever done? Gavin? Gavin! You... -I'm sorry about--
-Shut up. You wanna leave? No, I'm not going anywhere,
I'm here for a reason. Sorry, chum, the girl's spoken. You're not the reason! Stop telling people
we slept together! Lana, hey, hold up, listen. I thought we were supposed to
help each other, right? Look, go back to your apartment,
Hollis, this is lame. I don't want any of this,
this isn't me. It's not me either. Well, then it's too bad
this is where we met. I get it, Charlie, you win. What are you talking about? You got me to stay all night. It sucked, but I stayed,
so, you win. You think I lied to you
just to get you to come to one of my parties? Who the fuck do you
think you are, Lana? There's a million of you. Oh, and he's here, by the way. And the first thing he did
was ask about you. He's in the bedroom. Believe me, don't believe me.
Stay, go. Do whatever you want,
I don't fucking care anymore. Mr. Paloma? Feesbot is here. Go ahead, ask them yourself. Good luck, Charlie. I don't need luck. [people cheering] Thank you... all for coming. We are Feesbot. [cheering] And we are here to celebrate! Tonight has been
a tremendous success for art. And for all of you. For us. [applause] We wanna thank Charlie Kenner for all that she has
done for us. But, there comes a time, on every adventure, when you need to go on your own. And soon...
we will be announcing... our new venture. Feesbot is going international. [cheering] We have been honored to be
represented by Charlie Kenner. But, it is time
for Feesbot to go it alone. And we hope you come with us... On a new adventure. But, tonight, we celebrate! [cheering] To Charlie! To Feesbot! Lana? [chuckles] Ah... Charlie told me
you might've left. I was about to shove off myself. Parties really aren't my thing. -Mr. Paloma, I'm so--
-Nope. It's Alan. [chuckles] [sighs] -It's hash.
-No, thank you. No? Suit yourself. [cheering] Don't take it personally. [whispers] Screw you. So... about that offer. I've always known
you were a scumbag, Adrian. But you are
a consistent scumbag. It's the only thing
I appreciate about you. Tough night? I've been...
sort of waiting for you. I'm flattered. And I love your work. -I really love your work.
-Thanks. It's hard to come by, you know. Real talent. Most people don't have it. And those that do,
don't know what to do with it. That's where I come in. Now, I'm the first to admit it, there's nothing special
about me. I'm just a simple Brooklyn boy
in an expensive jacket. -I suck at math.
-[laughing] Can't remember a birthday
to save my life. [chuckles] But I have an eye. And over the years,
people have come to respect it. And I've learned to use it. And I want you to use it. Use what? My respect. Now, I don't know
if you want to be rich, or famous, or fuck actors. Well, I wanna make a difference. So do I. Only a sociopath doesn't wanna
make a difference. I can be a great partner to you. But... partnerships... are a two-way street. [scoffs] [sighs] They're not very good, are they? You can tell me the truth. -God, I'm such an idiot.
-Lana, I can't-- I actually don't want you
to say anything right now. Sorry... Come upstairs with me. -For what?
-So we cannot be in this place. I know a much calmer apartment
in the building. -[laughs]
-OK, nothing like that, I don't mean it like that,
I just... You were right about this place. [gunshot] [crowd gasping] [gunshot] [chuckles] Uh, all right, well, uh... We have
an announcement ourselves. Adrian Tyler Media is proud
to announce a new partnership in the likes of which New York
has never seen. [gunshot] Is everybody having a good time? I'm just asking
because it's my party, and I wanna make sure
that you are all having
a fan-fucking-tastic time. Oops... I guess our security officer
made a little mistake. Anyway, tonight, we are here
for Feesbot, right? Everybody, round of applause. [scattered clapping] Many of you
probably don't know this, but I found these two idiots dancing in lines for nightclubs that they could never get into.
[chuckles] You want me to make you
really famous? [gasping] 'Cause that's what
you want, right? I mean, to be recognized,
to be noticed. It's why you're here. It's why you're all here. It's why she's here. I have no fucking idea
why he is here. That bitch is fucking crazy. [door shuts] Let me show you something. You see this... thing? It could pay the rent in your
shitty apartments for a year. [glass shatters] And now it's worth even more... because of me. Oh, you guys can all
just go fuck yourselves, you don't even
deserve my attention. Give it to me. No! [gun clicks] [laughing] [scatter clapping] I'm sorry, but the look on your
face right now is hysterical. You didn't do it, did you? -Do what?
-Fuck him. Oh, Jesus Christ, Lana. Nobody gets anything out of
Alan-fucking-Paloma without
fucking Alan Paloma, I... You thought I wanted you
to connect me with Alan Paloma so that I could
fuck him for a show? I don't fuck people
to get ahead, Charlie. And that's why
you'll never get ahead. [laughs] Lana... Hey, Lana.
Lana, wait up. Lana! Hey, Lana, wait. How much? How much for one of your prints? I wanna buy one. Tell you what,
I'll give you one. [panting] God, I'm out of shape. If only you had a bike. If only I had your number. Goodnight, Hollis. [upbeat music plays]