Airbag (1997) Movie Script
Another victory on the cards.
The veteran champions lead 21-9.
Last serve for Retegui
who needs only one more point.
Amazing point for the challenger
they want to get back in the match.
And another point makes 21-11.
21-15now on the scoreboard.
Now theyre level at21.
The challenger has the serve.
The silence is incredible.
Difficult serve, bounce and22-21
Against all the odds,
Beloki is the new champion!
For some the world is blue,
for others its much blacker.
Good evening.
Sorry lm late, fuck.
-lm Serafin.
-Wed given you up.
-Have you brought the money?
-Yes, of course.
-Count it.
-Just sit down, please.
Right. The moneys all here.
15million pesetas each.
The house takes apercentage.
The winner takes 60 million.
You all know the rules?
Who doesnt?
Alain, if you please.
On the plate on the right...
we have one delicious
Amanita caesarea mushroom.
And on the left,
four Amanitaphalloides,
or deathcup mushroom,
absolutely deadly.
Now lm going to make
five omelets,
one with thecaesarea and
four with the phalloides,
which you all have agreed
to eat. Bon apetit.
Right. The rules are simple.
The player who survives
wins the 60 million.
Good luck, and enjoy your meals.
Remember, you can always pull out...
All you will lose is your money.
l dont feel very hungry.
Thank you.
Only four omelets then.
And only one is harmless.
Etvoil+.
Can l start? l like to be
first in everything.
l dont know why l do this.
lm stinking rich.
Son of abitch!
lts nothing personal.
lm allergic to mushrooms.
Your health, gentlemen.
Holy shit!
Right, gentlemen, you decide.
Okay, fifty-fifty then?
Come on, lets see if youve
got the balls.
Eat, you bastard,
its equal odds.
Whats a meal without
bread and wine?
Wherere you from?
-Logroo, sir.
-Gibraltar more like.
Fill it up.
Fucking great!
lve been lucky!
Sorry Serafin, but you can
still pull out.
Pull out? And leave this wine?
You crazy? lm staying because
l need the dough.
But youve got no chance.
lt looks like this gentlemans survived.
So what?
lm a gambler and l never give up.
Right then, if everythings in order...
one of us should snuff it.
Of course, everythings in order.
l dont feel well.
l feel bad, very bad.
l think lm gonna die.
Damned mushrooms, damned chef...
Tough luck!
lm dying! lm dying!
lm sorry, gents...
Cant stop for coffee.
My chauffeurs double-parked.
What aprofessional!
My dear friends...
Father Burutxaga...
Thank you for joining me...
joining us...
...tonight.
lt seems that it falls to me
to announce the forthcoming marriage
of my daughter, Araceli, baby...
and Juantxo Ortiz deZarate.
Next Saturday, the6th.
Apparently his father, Don Serafin
is unable to be with us tonight.
Pity, isnt it Begoa?
What a shame.
There is nothing more
important for amother...
This rotten cow...!
Hi, Angela!
Christ!What a surprise, Hermengilda.
How are you?
Come, sit down with us.
Hi. How are you?
Fine, Angela.
Mom, lll be with Konradin.
l was telling the girls...
that Jesus is the patron saint of pimps.
Did he not
get an erection when he saw
Mary Magdalene on the cross?
l believe its been proved.
lts not in the Scriptures
because it was censored.
Yes, theres nothing more
important for amother...
...than the wedding of her daughter.
Which is why no expense or
sacrifice has been spared.
As you can see from this habit...
There are 20,000 guys our age
in this city.
How come my sisters spent 10 years
running after the same dickhead?
l read about it this morning
in the Guinness...
l didnt think it possible...
l want it to be areally special day.
And lve had two fabluous
diamond rings...
with Colombian emeralds
and two lndian rubies...
all set in white gold
from South Africa
made by our great Basque
artist and designer,
Omar Urretabizkaia.
Thank you, habbibi.
They were rather expensive...
30 million each.
But worth every penny.
Juantxo...
lm givingyou two jewels.
Treat themwith
love and care.
Of course.
Now wed all love to hear
whatyouve got to say.
Speech! Speech!
Come on.
My boy.
Marquise...
and other ladies and gentlemen
of the jury. l mean, in general...
The concept...
This really is a very
important day for me.
-l can only say thank you...
-Conceivedwithout sin...
...especially to the marquise,
who is guilty...responsible
for...all this.
Thanks to my parents,
for everything...
...education, aposition,
and alegal practice...
Three Hail Marys.
lm busy right now.
Ego te absolvo.
The concept is basically...
l think you could say that
lm a very lucky guy.
Go for it, San Sebastian!
And finally
...lets raise our
glasses and toast...
Thats it, a toast!
Give me a glass of that.
lm dry.
Good speech, son, just like
alawyer.
Now take abreak.
Sorry lm late. The traffics
fucking awful.
Startedwithout me, have you?
Well done!
Marquise, you look gorgeous.
Whats with the bishops outfit?
Not permanent, is it?
-Hows the wine?
-Fine, dad.
An 87 Beronia!
Shit! Excellent wine!
lm not...
very good at this
but today is a great day for me.
Jos Mari and Auroris
daughter...
is going to marry my boy, the
eldest...
Just got his degree at thirty.
Took his fucking time!
And now the best bit.
Thirty million, in cash.
The way its more useful
Dad, its too much.
-No its not.
-Youre tipsy.
Carlos! Champagne all round!
These days mens balls
have shrunk to this size.
You guys missed the pelota game.
Boy, was it exciting!
Excitement? Therell be
plenty of that tomorrow.
-Whos playing?
-Us against the Portuguese.
At3 p.m. in my showroom.
What does it say, Angela?
-l bet its something bad.
-Pakos idea for sure.
lts for Juantxo. Pass it to him.
And for Konrado.
Being arebel today has no meaning.
Serafin, its not ajoke.
Lets pay the damn tobacco.
Ye of little faith!
lll get this one.
TUESDAY, GRAND STAG PARTY.
Scandalo. 10 PM.
Konrado Volvos. Hello.
Fitting an airbag, prick?
l bet you havent got the
car for tonight.
-Dad, can l borrow a...?
-No.
Up yours!
Theyll recognize my car.
Dont worry. They all look
the same in the dark.
Sorry.
Youll be like
a pig in clover, Juantxo.
Theyve got some mulatto girls
that are hot stuff, man.
No, guys, lllwait for you outside.
Dont be an asshole,
its your stag night.
-Right.
-lm just not in the mood.
Hey, guys, lm worried about
these spots at the bottom of...
Sometimes the PH of vaginal
fluid irritates the mucus.
What do you know
about mucus, aristocrat?
Have you brought the money,
aristocrat?
Yeah, lve brought the money.
And something more important.
-This.
-Lets see the instructions.
Come on.
What do you think?
The harem.
Dont tell me youve
been here before.
Sure l have.
Lets get laid.
lm going to talk about free
love.
And the only professional of
that love...
...Jesus.
l can see that all of you are rebels.
He was a rebel too.
And l also want to be one.
Long live free love.
Evening, ladies.
lve brought a friend
with bags of money.
Hes getting married Saturday.
Right, marquis?
This ones gonna get his
coffee with two sugars.
Aint he now?
Gently...You like making love dontyou?
Gently.
Poor thing.Where did you get
that anaconda, big boy?
-You come along with me.
-Yes, ladies.
lm arebel
because the world
made me that way.
Because nobody ever
showed me love.
Because nobodys ever
listened to me.
Wow. lts getting as hard as a rock.
This way.
lm a rebel because
lve always been that way.
They refused to give me
what l asked for.
They just failed to understand.
l wanted to be
like any other kid,
any other man
whos happy.
l wanted
to give whats inside me
in return for friendship.
To live
and dream,
and forget rancour,
and sing
and laugh
and give
only
love.
lm married.
Arent they all, honey?
lts just...
Visa card or cash, my love?
Visa or cash?
Ah, now?
ln cash, okay?
Well sort it out later.
But dont make it a habit.
Take your clothes off
and wash it.
Wash what?
Oh, come on, honey.
Ph all the way!
lts freezing!
lm sorry, its a crappy tap.
Did l scald it.
lll never get
the hang of it.
Now with a nice bit of soap.
l dont like being kissed.
Stop, stop!
lll touch you.
-Are your hands clean?
-Of course.
Oh, honey...
it feels like gum.
Well...
Dry yourself.
You gonna give me the money?
lts there.
Excuse me.
Araceli de Alda? ls she your wife?
Yeah.Well, not yet, but...
You should have hangers
in a place like this.
Well...?
Did you enjoy it?
Yeah, it was wild.
Just great.
Youre quite a performer.
Maybe a bit short.
Timewise l mean.
Short but sweet, as they say.
Youre so wise, my love.
And so virile.
l do my best.
Was it really too short?
Hey, youre a romantic.
Youre a sweet guy.
Do you want to do it again?
l think its getting a bit late.
Oh, come on, honey.
Talking is nice too.
l love your accent.
Fuckings not everything.
To making love, l mean.
What do you mean love?
Youre nuts. Thats great.
Ask, ask, lll tell you.
What would you like to know?
One, two, three...
Four.
Pump in,
ventricular,
Pump out,
auricular...
Ventricular
Auricular.
Come on.
lnhale, exhale...
Very good. Youre doing great.
Now l think...
Whats wrong, my love?
You dont like rubbers,
do you?
Yes, l have to relax.
Better darling?
lm relaxing...
Come here,
give me your finger.
Suck my finger, darling.
Wont you do it for me?
-Suck my finger.
-No
Cheers! To eternal screwing
and UFOs.
And fucking them till they
drop.
To death!
Boy, did l sweat!
l fucked her brains out!.
And what apiece of ass,
eh Konra?
Yeah, they were great.
She was gorgeous.
Look at him, Konra.
Not a peep out of him.
Did you score then?
Well, not exactly.
Yes, l did. l mean...
Juantxo, whats the matter?
Are you OK?
My engagement ring.
Fucking kids!
Go kill yourselves!
What happened?
lm sorry about the ring.
-Why?
-Because it was my idea.
Who hit you?
A lot of guys are into
violence.
lt turns them on.
lt was my boss.
For not charging a client.
Look, about the ring...
lm not talking about
the damned ring.
Do you like your boss?
Shit!
Wait...
l like you. A lot.
l thought you were Cuban.
l like you too.
Youre fantastic.
lt may sound like an excuse
but it was my first time.
You were great.
Youre an angel, but l dont
have your ring
l didnt think so.
Whos got it?
lts dangerous.
Please.
Somebody whos into violence.
Your boss?
Whats his name?
Call him over.
-Why?
-l know how to hit too.
Mr Villambrosa isnt here.
Where is he?
Can you really fight?
Sure.
lm a karate black belt.
Hes at the Kokotxa club.
Do you like hitting women?
Thats a shame.
l deserve to be hit.
Poor creature, so full of vice!
Well, thanks, lve got to go.
Bye. Take care, karate kid.
Bye, Sweetheart.
Theyll kill me.
Guys, its all your fault.
-Why did we have to go there?
-Cool it.Well find it.
Nuisance, 6 letters.
Harass.
And did she use her finger
on you, too?
-None of your business.
-What do you mean?
lf you like it up the rear...
Up yours, Pako!
Thats what l mean.
lts not normal.
lts not normal?
All right, its not normal!
Hey, guys, dont get uptight.
Why dont we just let fate
take its course?
According to the theory
of chaos...
Right! You got it.
See, Juantxo, how you get
desperate so easily.
Thats what creates chaos.
Just relax
Listen to some music.
Relax? Youre gonna fucking
kill us!
No fucking way. This cars
what you call life insurance!
Airbags on the drivers and
passengers sides.
Great. ln the back its
my ass thats on the line.
-Dont say that word again!
-l didnt say ass.
-Yes, you did.
-No, l didnt.
-You did!
-l didnt!
Harass. l said harass.
Konrad!
Nuisance... six letters.
Harass.
You said it.
-Crash... collision.
-How many letters?
Stop!
Shit!
DANGER.
BATHlNG PROHlBlTED
Shit!
Today is not our day.
lve wrecked the car!
Fuck me!
Thats all we needed.
So much for the airbags.
Hell, why didnt they work?
Driver, passenger,
life insurance...
Shut up, will you! All this is
for your fucking ring!
And whose idea was it to...
To what? Stick your finger up
her ass or yours?
Up your old mans ass!
Any body hurt?
Not yet, but...
Hey! Are you Villambrosa?
Jesus, do you know me?
No, l dont.
That ring belongs to me.
Where have you been putting
your finger?
You should be ashamed of
yourself!
Cool it, Juanxto. lll handle
this.
Hell tell you.
-l cant hear you.
-Hell tellyou!
Well, Pako decided to organize
a stag party
-By the way, lm Konrado.
-And hes Pako, the driver.
Shit, Konrado! Cut the chat!
lf you think its so easy,
you explain it.
Where was l?
Well, when Juantxo
stuck his...
The Marquise de Alda gave it
to him as her dowry.
Yes, that engagement ring.
So the ring belongs to
that young man?
Please give it back. lts got
huge sentimental value.
What kind of
huge value?
l dunno, millions.
How much was it, Juanxto?
Hey, you!
Come back!
Shitbag!
Hey!
Thief!
Bastard!
Hey!
Shitbag!
Oh, shit, the airbags!
Just when we needed them.
Pako, will you
stop this thing!
Stop this! Shit!
For Gods sake!
lm suffocating!
Try and breathe.
-l cant!
-Take it easy.
lts got limited dimensions
and its explosion-proof.
Hey, mister!
Stop it!
Thats the way it is!
Lets go.
l cant take it anymore.
-The damage doesnt look too bad!
-Are you stupid?
Konra, wherere you going?
Theres a huge chance that
itll explode.
Why should it explode?
-Like in Starsky and Hutch.
-lf you say so.
Shit! run!
Run!
Rats!
Filthy blackmailers!
Some people have got
no scruples.
30 million for
some crap photos
that are out of focus.
That fucking kid
was pretty cute. lncredible!
Hello? Yes, yes.
lts Mr Villambrosa.
Palomeque, watch the puddle.
What about the briefcase?
l wanted the thirty million
here today.
Today, tod..ay!
Look, Mr Candidate,
l have business in Portugal.
And lve got problems with Souza.
Every time l talk
to him my ulcer plays up.
Sir, l think we should call
it a day.
l want to master this game before
the elections.
Theres still aweek to go.
Youll have the money tomorrow.
Your money and the gift
you wanted.
Still unopened.
You realize lm a good investment
in your future.
Dont forget that.
Bye for now
Mr President.
Excuse me, sir, were at
the hole...
l dont feel very well.
Tourino, call Souza. No more
fuck ups.
Listen about Russian Omelette...
Call the Portuguese guy.
Youre right there.Wait.
Pakos right.
You cant go back without
the ring, Juantxo.
lve been away from home
for 20 hours.
Yeah, thats true. Hold on.
His fiancee hasnt heard
from him.
So fucking what?
Wait a second.
You guys are driving me nuts.
lm outta here.
Hey! Kiddos, you, Konrad,
we need a car.
And Juantxo, we need money.
No way!
l Copied it exactly.
But the best thing was when they
put their glasses on.
l just dont know.
Glasses!
Hey, Guys!
l dunno.
ALENTEJO,
SOUTHERN PORTUGAL.
Joao Villambrosa.
-My friend. How are you?
-Fine.
But worse than you for sure.
Hows the ulcer?
Better, thanks.
lts been fine
for the past few weeks.
ln fact...
Since l last talked to you.
You should control that temper
of yours.
lll give you a home-made remedy
on Friday. At the casino.
Brazilian medicine.
Dont bother.
On Friday lll forget my
pains as soon as l see the cattle.
lm bringing the best girls
youve ever seen.
Not just because l respect you.
l also have my own motives...
Your cooperation means alot to me.
Yes, in Arosanot only will we
sign our partnership
but also seal our friendship.
By the way,
could we not bring the
the swap forward to today?
lll tell Fatima do Espirito
Santo.
-See you on Friday in my casino.
-Look after your health.
Thanks. Dont wor...
l feel worse.
Now l hear you better, Tourino.
We cant pick up the microwaves
inside.
We dont have a satellite dish.
Listen, Pazos, were not going
that way, so listen.
Have you got the crabs?
Crabs?
No, its not the season.
Only in the months with r in them
January, February...
l said crabs.
Ten kilos worth.
The coke?
Why didnt you say so?
Yes, the order arrived.
Who will pick up the drop?
The Portuguese will
be there at 6.
The goods are worth 30 million.
Take the money and bring it to
Arosa.
Do you think you
can manage that?
Come on, boss,
just trust me.
lm an old hand at this.
Theyre professionals so try
and act like one.
lts as easy as peeling abanana.
Give my regards
to Mr Villambrosa...
Sorry.
My poor child.
All under control, sir.
Pass me an Almax.
Theyre real busy.
No, Konra, thats showing off.
-Sure this is it, guys?
-Yeah, of course it is.
La Kokotxa. Look, prawns!
Afternoon. Mr Villambrosa?
Of course.
lve just spoken to him.
l dunno, l expected you to have
an accent.
Good afternoon.
Excuse me, but we think you have
something that belongs to us.
Yes, in aminute.
But have a drink first.
You must be tired.
-Yeah. Of going up and down.
-We got lost three times.
Well just relax.Weve got some
girls youre gonna love.
On the house, as usual.
Youre very hospitable.
Very kind. Nice and cool.
By the way,
what about Villambrosa?
Hes fine, thanks. lll tell him
you asked after him.
Now tell me, has your car got
airbags?
Driver, passenger and side, just
fitted.
Fucking professional.
Like aring on a finger.
Mr Villambrosa could be a
bit more discreet.
Did he say he was coming?
Hes very definitely
coming or not coming.
He was very clear on that matter.
l couldnt hear him very well.
Weve had trouble with the
imm mobile phone.
Listen.
Mr Villambrosa left the matter
in my hands.
So no need to worry
Everything will work out o.k.
But now... a concept.
Why dont you relax and get laid?
Weve got plenty of time.
And lll go get organized.
Marquitos! Tonin! Back to
work. Fuck!
Were pushed for time. And feed
those fucking hens!
l painted this in my hippy phase.
-What do you think?
-Exquisite, colorful.
lm an artist, man.
l was a sailor, a welterweight,
and a sculptor.
But they dont appreciate me.
Move it!
Nayat!
Navratilova!
Ones Arabic, the others
Chechen.
High class, real pros.
Wheres the fire?
Well, well.
Three young uns.
Great.
Sorry, but lve come here to...
No, you take it easy.
You and me are going to have
a few drinks.
Us partners have got to get to
know one another.
Girls...
Give em some liposuctions.
You know what l mean?
l do indeed.
God, what abunch of wimps!
Palmira, open that bottle of
grappa of mine.
-Grappa?
-l was keeping it...
for a special occasion.
l can see youve
got a good eye.
lts not the standard Mini-Uzi.
lts the Micro-Uzi SMG.
Sub machine Gun.
A killing machine. A real gem.
Youd noticed of course.
-Hold it.
-No.
-Hold it!
-No.
Hold it for fucksakes!
Holy shit!
And theres me explaining.
Shit! These foreigners come
really prepared.
So machine gun, eh?
Palmira, another bottle!
Very professional.
Right, thats it.
Christ, there are more tourists.
coming every day
What a sight!
What a vision!
Dont get any ideas.
She wont look atyou.
Wanna bet?
Hi.
Smells of gunpowder.
l like it.
Were you expecting me?
All my life.
lm Fatima do Espirito Santo.
l understandyou know about
airbags.
Oh no, not again.
My partners an expert. He
spends all day fitting them.
Fantastic!
l like driving fast.
And l think ld feel safer
with one of those things.
Could you look at my airbags?
We dont mind, do we Konrad?
Where were we?
l like going fast...
...and coming slow:
Hello. Oh, its you.
l have to check the airbags.
Of course.
Lets get out.
After 15 years of marriage,
with the kids at the best
schools in Cam Ford...
They had everything.
Now lm alone. All alone.
Ah, Carmina.
Her in Galicia
and me in the Basque country.
lm sorry, man. lt upsets me.
Go ahead and cry.
Let off some steam.
You said it. lm all choked up.
You understand, dont you?
Of course.
Damn it all!
Come on El Depor!
You were right
l didnt listen to you.
l have to accept that
with a glass in front of me.
My head feels heavy
How l suffer.
l swear l need
to return.
Theres a woman all alone
waiting for me too.
The hell with it!
All checked, maam.
Konra, this is my friend...
Glad to meet you.
So machine gun.
lm leaving.
Now?
l owe you a dance.
What the fuck...
And the ring?
Fucking bitch!
Hey, amigo.
Wheres Villambrosa?
Watch your step with Villambrosa.
Hes a son of a bitch.
Hes got money in ambulance,
Hell be at the Big Club.
The best place weve got.
Swish place. You ought to
see it.
Straight ahead at the intersexual,
and you cant miss it.
Okay, Pazos.
What do we owe you?
-lts on the house.
-Lets go then.
My money aint good enough
for you or what?
Dickhead!
Fucking hell!
lll blow your fucking heads off!
A bit of respect, Chrissakes.
Easy, guys.
Pazos is a cool dude.
Quit clowning around.
Hand over the fucking case.
What case?
The one you got in your hand,
fucker.
Hes just goofing around.
Now lets check the goods.
First something to fire you up.
No, Pazos, amigo.
No more firing, please.
We trust each other then.
Between you guys and Villambrosa
theres an important engagement...
-The ring. 30 million pesetas worth.
-Thats why were here.
30 million. l know.
Trust is everything.
Professional.
Very professional.
Harder!
Harder!
-Well lll be fucked!
-Nothing.
Son of abitch.
Nobody outsmarts Fatima.
Hey, Mr Tourino.
How are you?
Tell the president hell have
to tighten his belt.
We did the swap.
But their case was sort of...
sort of...
sort of e-m-p-t-y!
Empty!
Youll have the goods, Mr Souza. Leave
it to me in a few minutes.
No, l didnt know.
How was l to know it was
a jack in the box?
Travelling with your buddies.
Money in your pocket and the
tank full of gas.
And alot of road ahead.
200 km to the Big Club.
The world is red.
lts blue.
lts all black to me.
The ring. Son of abitch.
Dont stop.
They look like punks.
-Who?
-Those hitchhikers.
Holy Christ and all the saints
in abarrel!
Stop after the bend!
Well wait further on.
Was that good luck, corporal
or bad luck?
What do you mean, lieutenant?
Three cars almost run us
down in a few seconds.
Thats bad luck.
But they didnt.
So thats good luck.
lts a dilemma.
lt depends how
you look at it.
Sir, arent you going to
question them?
Of course.
Afternoon.
Why didnt you brake before?
Do you mean before in space
or in time?
Good question.
The 1st would be that seeing you,
l should have braked before.
The 2nd would mean that
having braked
the car wouldnt stop in time.
lnteresting.
So the ultimate question would be:
whos to blame, car or driver?
Guilty.
l understand.
Another dilemma.
So ask the question again
properly this time.
Konrad, cut the chat.
Allow me, lieutenant.
Afternoon.
The cars papers.
-Konrad, where are they?
-lll get them.
Sorry.
lm alawyer, eh?
Get him to specify which papers.
Listen, smartasses.
Get the papers out of the
fucking car right now...
Or lll throw the fucking book
atyou.
-Dont hit the car, its new.
-So what!
So fuckingwhat?
Didnt l tellyou l was a
lawyer, you clown?
Flathead!
-Hes drunk.
-Get out.
Dont hit the car, please.
Get out of the car.
Right...
now!
What the fuck are you doing?
Stop that!
Follow them!
lll call the station.
No, well both
call the station.
Well both call. That way
well make absolutely sure.
l smell crabs.
Your driving turns me on,
you bastard.
Come on, step on it.
Theyre ours.
l told you they
were terrorists, lieutenant.
Get out! Get out!
Will you listen to me, damn it!
Let the lawyer speak.
Fuck!
l cant remember why...
But l am not going in there
-No way!
-No chance!
-This is aparadise.
-Paradise.
We shouldnt forget
why were here.
We wont.
-Well just check out the place.
-Lets go.
-Evening, gentlemen.
-Evening.
Monica!
Shell fit the bracelets and
explain the rules.
Hi.
-Welcome to the Big Club.
-Thanks.
Services are registered here.
Please come with me, gentlemen.
Shallwe go in?
What goes in must come out.
Two, four and six.
Pazos!
What the fucks going o~?
Lieutenant Llorente.
Great to see you in the club again:
What the hell
was all that shooting?
And those alarms...
and guns.
We thought we heard screams
but it was a false alarm.
Get ready for an inspection
downstairs.
Sorry.
Pazitos, Pazitos.
Come on, boys.
Lets go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Big Club
Will be closing its door in a few minutes.
Dont forget our special offer
for Easter.
Thank you for your visit.
Smallworld, isnt it?
-Hes not here.
-The next one then:
Okoito.
-Whats that?
-Bad PH.
Lts war.
Hey, any cash left?
A bit.
Four more.
L pass.
-Do you like it, mom?
-You look great.
Beautiful, dear.
Lts the same as the one
on Thursday, but worse...
Help yourselves.
Theres more than enough.
Mom, Obsolete Love
has started.
Episode 2005
Jose Alberto, my love,
whats the real reason?
lm beginning to think
you dont want to marry me.
All right, Esmeralda,
lll tell you my secret.
When l find my real father
lll come back
and marry you.
And you know why?
-Because l love you.
-Yes.
Thats arelief.
Of course l do.
He wont come back.
Come on, Araceli,
please dont cry.
Youll get us all going.
lts probably
just a childish prank.
lts all Pakos fault.
l know it.
lf they dont show
up tonight...
that bitch and her bastard
will know whats good for them.
lts the wedding of the year
and nobody will wreck it.
Dont worry.
lf anything had happened
wed have heard by now.
Theyre not in any hospital
and l checked with the morgue.
Grave accusations of corruption
and association with criminals
have affected the candidates
latest public appearances.
The voters have seen what
the oppositions up to...
slandering me,
connecting me with undesirables.
Perhaps because of my fight
against drugs,
juvenile delinquency,
and uncontrolled immigration.
Is that why?
So let them prove their charges
if they can.
Thats how the meeting in the
Basque country
of the presidential candidate
Santiago Paino ended.
Hes the leading candidate
in the presidential race
according to all the polls.
Pako, the window.
According to the girls
we should be close.
Konra, how much more?
Loads, but thats my last.
Or second last.
Youre out of it.
Juantxo, how much more?
I told you yesterday.
There are some bills left.
To hell with you! Im all alone.
Man is all alone.
Vanesita...
She didnt charge me.
Look at him.
Hes crying like ababy.
Guys...
What are we doing?
Im a drug addict.
Ive wrecked my life.
And your wedding, Juantxo...
Dont worry.
Well sort it out.
Take it easy, okay?
Sir, if theres gang warfare
itll ruin the campaign.
We musnt be connected
with any...
Dont get my balls
in an uproar!
I pay you to solve problems
not to fuck me around.
-Do you want awood...?
-A club. A clubbing...
We have to avoid scandals.
Okay... Call Villambrosa.
He always calls us.
What an honour.
What a surprise.
Marquise...
Allow me.
I received
your very generous donation
to the party. Thanks.
The interests of a country
are above
small personal sacrifices.
Just what I like to hear.
Positive people...
people in favour of things.
Speaking of favours...
I came here to ask one of you.
A favour.
My dear, no favours.
From you I only take orders.
Im like a fox terrier,
a dobermann,
awild orangutan trained
to serve you.
At your service...
to the end.
Golf
isnt your game, is it?
I prefer cards. All that
swing and green and tee.
Its sissy stuff.
Exactly.
Stick your butt out.
Little house on the prairie
You want the money but not to
get even with Souza.
And that aint easy, Paino.
l know readings notyour
thing,
but its the second time
this week
Ive seen your name next to mine.
So the problem
with Souza can wait.
All right...
therell be no war.
Youll have alot to thank
me for, Mr President.
I like the sound of that.
Tourino.
Call Souza.
Your men have got the
30 million.
But we havent seen
one single gram.
War!
Thats the last thing aman
my age wants.
I trust Fatima.
Tell me where and when.
My men will be there.
Unarmed.
We musnt endanger our
alliance.
Ill see you at your new casino,
my old friend.
Tourino.
Tell Pazos to be
at the stadium at seven.
To fix things with
the Portuguese.
No weapons.
-But hell have to talk.
-Then hell have to learn.
-Hello, whats your name?
-Rosana.
When do I start work?
Poor princess in captivity.
Can I call home now?
Youll soon have
your own phone.
Let them go!
But step on it!
Well gain an hour
and a quarter.
You dont know where the fuck
we are.
Cool it, this is
a great short cut.
God! Like in Angola!
This way well get
them head on.
Fire!
Fools!
Hopeless idiot!
Too bumpy!
Bastard!
Its Mr Souza, maam.
Mr Souza.
Yes, sir.
What, sir? Make peace?
No weapons?
No weapons.
I understand, Mr. Souza.
But, sir...
Yes, sir.
What the hell are you doing?
-From now on lll drive.
-Cocaine makes you aggressive.
Anxiety, right? Anxiety.
Your drivings too jerky.
I feel awful, guys.
No more of that shit for me.
You can drive...
after the short cut.
Congratulations, Mrs or is it Miss?
Not all your men are here,
but congratulate them.
Theyre real pros.
Its Miss.
Youre very kind
but I think youre wrong.
Id have liked to see
all your men here, too.
And one in particular.
Congratulate them from me.
Lets not get
into hieroglyphics.
Were hear to clarify
a couple of concepts.
Our bosses insist we
get along together...
so lll make an effort.
lf you tell us where
our money is.
When you give us whats
ours...
well discuss that concept
in order to discuss it.
I see.
Thats as clear as you can get.
Look, baby.
Here we have a question.
The concept is the concept.
Thats the question.
For example, youre
an educated woman.
And l dont object in respective
to that because Im broad minded.
I dont go around saying all
women are bitches in heat...
even if I think so.
But what about the concept?
I defer to the facts.
Very impressive.
I havent given you so much
thought.
And the concept?
No, I already said that.
Oh, fuck!
What does it say here?
Well, lets try and
get on together...
or alot of blood
could be shed.
Mr Souzais respected
all over Portugal.
In your country too.
For two good reasons.
(a) he never
double-crosses anyone and b)
he hates being double-crossed.
(a) and (b), huh?
Mr Villambrosa, who is a jentlemen.
Told me to sort
this out with pacifism.
So, a)Just as l could say
one thing l could say another.
And b)...
Watch it,
cos maybe youll get a ...
Mines longer than yours.
Hello.
l told you not to call me at work.
And me too...
Pumpkin Pie.
lts going to be a grand night.
Just aroulette or two to
fix up, thats all.
-Get it ready for tonight.
-Mr Paino
said he had to speak to you.
About the meeting
with the Portuguese.
The board room is ready
for you to sign the agreement
with Mr Souza.
Have you heard from Pazos?
Not a thing, sorry sir.
-Come on, Roxanne.
-Rosana, maam.
Locked away, asking for help.
l think shes looking at me.
Hes got a temperature.
l dont like the look
of that bleeding.
Lack of sleep, too much coke.
The bodys an enigma.
We have to call home.
-We agreed not to.
-To Pakos place.
Herme will understand.
Just say were okay.
Were heading back.
The weddings the day
after tomorrow.
We agreed wed get the ring.
Fuck the ring!
Dont talk bullshit!
Head for the next harem.
Get a hair of
the dog that bit you!
Get the map out,
Konra, hell!
Straight on to the
House on the prarie.
But first we need a...
Reanimator, the drink with ginseng.
SPAIN
Killings?
-Which gang was it?
-Three experts.
Experts?
Theyre not freelance.
Theyre Villambrosas men.
l can smell it.
Dos Barros, tell the boys.
Fantastic.
Pity shes going
to that politician.
Fonseca would have got
much more out of her.
-Something went wrong.
-What do you mean?
There was another gang.
Three guys in a Volvo. Pros.
So, another bunch
of jokers.
At the worst possible moment.
Those boys
have made abig mistake.
Obsolete Love.
Episode 2006
l dont know aboutyou,
but lve made up my mind.
The police should be involved
as soon as possible:
And if not, well call
the Government representative.
Well, l think...
Tere, please.
Youre not going to report my
son missing
like some lost Pekinese.
We must reach an agreement.
Then decide if we call the
police or the army or...
Thats it, the army.
Theyre probably just
out on the town.
We did the same before we
got married.
You fool, the weddings in
sixteen hours.
Maybe hes smarter
than we were and...
Dont be an idiot! How dare
you in front of Begoa and...
Peace, Aurori.
Peace, for Gods sake.
My dears, l think youre all
abit touchy.
There is something l wanted to say.
l wasnt going to, but were
all one big family.
Yesterday l was worried about
Juantxo and the boys,
so l decided to take action.
l went to see Presidential
Candidate Paino.
His security service is
looking for the boys.
This evening well have all the
information.
You know me.
Always a step ahead.
Look, look.
A democrat on TV
A decision which could be
described as surprising.
After receiving
certain indecent photos,
Judge Rueda ordered
the imprisonment of Presidential
Candidate Santiago Paino.
He is accused of illegal financing,
association with criminals
and paedophilia.
lts all apack of lies,
aplot, a trick.
How was l to know
she was only ten?
The parents are to blame...
for dressing them
up like whores...
Oh, my God,
What are we going to do?
-Back to square one.
-Worse.
ln this country imprudence
has a high price.
Pako is to blame. Hes abad
egg and sos his mother.
Were going to make a fool
of ourselves tomorrow.
-Pako once asked me for a fellatio.
-A what?
-Me too.
-ln your dreams!
Thats it.
lm going to call the police and
look for that old slut, Herme.
And see what she has to say.
Shell be gadding about
as usual.
What apitiful woman.
Whether she likes it or not,
shell have to explain.
Whenever you want, my dear.
Sorry maam.
She wouldnt wait.
lve been waiting outside
for awhile.
Long enough.
What awful cakes.
From the local store,
arent they?
lve never really
felt the need
to talk to you as a group.
But nows a good time.
We were going to call you,
But we thought
you wouldnt come.
Being invited is less fun.
This is ridiculous.
We all think Pakos to blame.
Hes a bad influence on them.
Thats true. lm tired of all
this hypocrisy.
What frankness, ladies!
l feel obliged to reply.
The truth is l was getting
worried about Pako.
Too many hours with your boys.
l feared he was becoming
like them.
An imbecile.
How dare you!
But after whats happened
lve discovered that
fortunately, theyre
just like their fathers.
You dont mean your husband.
He left you 15 years ago.
Joao...
lt was l who left
that son of abitch.
Look, the weddings tomorrow
and weve got a serious problem.
lts your sons who have the problem,
not you.
And that problem
is their parents.
Serafin, are you going to let
this slut insult us?
Serafin will say nothing
to this slut because hes a
gambler and whore monger.
What?
Herme... dear... dont stir
things up.
Or do, or l dont know.
AndJose Mari,
and Konrado
are demanding clients,
almost fussy,
but exceedingly generous.
You slanderous slut!
Did it never occur to you
that all these cheap
bankers and politicians
you sleep with
Come later to my clubs.
And they talk.
And notvery nicely,
my poor Jose Mari.
Youre despicable.
Get out
of my house or lll call...
My best customers?
Yes, l know.
Take it easy, dear.
lm afraid l cant stay.
My masseur charges by the hour.
By the way,
lve got news from the boys.
Theyre...
theyre fine.
Dont worry about the wedding.
ltll all turn out fine.
Goodbye...
ladies.
Jose Alberto,
lm your real father.
Bingo, that bastards Cadillac!
What a joint, guys.
Well, were here then.
We cant fail now.
That bastards got the ring
but its not going to be easy.
He may well have a bodyguard.
How do you feel then?
Fucking great!
All set to go.
We have to stick together.
Well try and play it cool
lf that doesnt work...
Well improvise.
Yeah, improvise.
As usual.
Well it looks like
he aint here.
Well have to look elsewhere.
So lets split up, OK?
lll stick around here.
No need to worry about me.
Okay, Konrad.
What about you, Pako?
lll check out the bar.
You know, bartenders
remember peoples faces.
lll go on my own then.
And be careful...
with the PH.
Could you give me arough
idea of how to play this game?
Of course, sir.
Mr Villambrosa?
Excuse me.
What did you say?
Good evening, kind man.
l was just telling
Einstein here...
that l want to speak
to Mr Villambrosa.
For what purpose?
Look...
l lost my engagement ring
up a mulatto girls ass.
Mr Villambrosa chanced upon it.
And lve been following him
from one brothel to the next.
So l guess hes expecting me.
Come in, come in.
What a joker!
Hurry up,
the games starting.
Here l am.
l know you, dont l?
Yes, we have met once before.
Excuse me, sir.
What is it?
Nothing serious, sir.
Can you come please?
lf youll excuse me
for a moment, please.
-How are you, sir?
-What is it?
l didnt realize at first
but unless lm very mistaken
the empty case those bastards
gave me at the club is
identical to the one we gave to the
Basque who ruined the Russian Omelet.
And what the hell does that mean?
Not a fucking clue, boss.
Excuse me.
A small concept.
Do you play with wild cards?
Of course not.
The concept,
that is the question.
Hey, Pazos!
What a surprise!
-Sir?
-Yes.
Hes one of the professionals.
The worst, the most dangerous.
Come on, El Deportivo!
Gentlemen,
lm afraid the game is off.
Right now,
Mr Villambrosa.
l have to point out
that that ring,
as you well know, is not yours,
but mine.
Now l remember.
You were in the crashed car.
And before that with Vanessa.
We have the same
tastes, young man.
Do we really?
Like hell we do.
A small interruptus.
Whats your fathers name?
Serafin. Why?
The father takes our money
and the son the cocaine.
Damned Basques! Sons of...
Wait aminute.
What money?
lm sorry but we havent
robbed anybody.
That ring is mine.
Whats your game?
Well, young man...
As you can see,
this is aplace for gambling,
so if you want the ring,
and you dont have my money
to pay for it...
well gamble for it.
Your father seems
to enjoy gambling.
And hes got balls.
Lets see if youre his son
or the postmans.
Your turn.
Right on!
What apro!
Goddamn kid!
You got balls, kiddo.
You sure do.
But what good are they
if youre a looney?
Not too smart either.
Theres only one bullet left.
And as lm the generous type,
l would like you to accept it.
lm sorry.
l couldnt let you go.
Bye.
Holy shit, awoman!
Christ! Angela!
My daughter!
What?
Come on, Angelita, my darling.
lm your father.
Hes her father.
A present for you, dad.
They have a family thing.
They say he tried
to get his leg over her.
And if that happens in a family,
its bad news.
Yep.
No, not this one.
So you had my money.
A thief whos robbed...
deserved it anyway.
Court is adjourned.
Lets go.
Submachine gun.
Dont worry about it.
Gentlemen,
we cant stay for coffee.
Thats 5,650,000 pesetas.
On the same number. 13.
Have you been playing long,
Almost an hour.
Got it! Lets go!
Dont spoil the streak, Juantxo.
Look at this.
Are you crazy?
l was born to play this game.
Whats going on?
Why the hell are you dressed
up like that, Angela?
Come on, were are leaving.
Even if l have
to dragyou out.
Security!
What have you done, guys?
Guns! Dozens of them!
Think of something, Konra.
Where they least expect it.
The front door.
-All right!
-Logical. l love you, Konra.
l saw it in Starsky and Hutch.
Theyre thieves!
Theyve stolen the takings.
-Dont give them the ring.
-No way!
l dont think they want it.
4 Thieves Killed
by the security services
of the Arosa Casino.
Therere dozens of witnesses.
Theyre citizens, and this city
belongs to me.
And the judges too.
Everything could also be yours,
my children.
Your son? How?
Pako, this is papa.
Yes, Jos Francisco...
You dont remember because
you were studying abroad,
paid for by me.
lt cant be true.
Son of abitch!
Listen, Jose Francisco.
Fuck you, dad!
lt was all a...
-set up.
-Yes, a set up.
Pure slander.
Your mother
couldnt prove it.
l wasnt allowed to testify
in court.
But now l will.
Thats enough!
l gave you one last chance.
Theyre all yours.
So much for
Starsky and Hutch, eh Konra!
-Konra?
-Hey, guys, this way!
Pako!
Pako!
Come on! ldiot!
Come on!
lts locked.
Shoot at the door.
The world is blue.
Lets go!
Konra, thats not style.
-lts showing off.
-l was improvising.
Come on, this way.
Whats wrong?
-Leave me alone, lm O.K.
-So lets go.
Go and start the car!
Fuck! l dont get it.
Pako!
Trust me and start the car
for Chrissake!
You owe me a dance.
Sorry, precious, you
took too long.
A shame. Bye, darling.
Bye.
ls that mine?
That motherfucking pretty boy.
Theyve got the money
and the coke.
They mustnt escape.
l hate to admit youre right.
Tires are flat,
lets use the Dodge.
Theres no room for you, fool!
lf you squeeze over:
Theyre getting away!
They wont get far.
Fatima, you always
surprise me.
Give me that!
Carmina?
lm quitting this.
lts too stressing.
No, not interesting,
stressing.
Hey, Carmina.
You were right.
But l wouldnt listen
l have to admit it
with a glass in front of me
and my head feels heavy,
how l suffer.
l swear l need to return.
Thank you
for coming, Governor,
its a great honor.
Thank you.
What a tragedy.
He went and did it.
l cant believe it.
My own son.
l have to say it.
We cant wait any longer.
The shame of it!
l want to die.
lm going to
say a few words.
Quiet, quiet please.
Quiet.
Quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen,
as you can see
its 12:30 and everythings ready.
But l regret to tell you
that the wedding
will not take place.
Will not take place
exactly on time.
lm sorry for the slight delay.
Thank you.
Juantxo, thats no style,
lts just showing off.
All right. All right.
-Hello, Sweetheart.
-You had me worried, idiot!
Such a fool.
-What in Gods name...
-Shut up.
You had me worried to death.
For Christsake, mom.
-Watch your language.
-Fuck!
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to join together
Juantxo
Ortiz deZarate
and Araceli de Alda.
Oh, Lord,
grant them eternal rest.
What took you so long?
A few problems with your ex.
Yes, l heard about
it on the radio.
No, thats the funeral rites...
Ah yes, dearly beloved, its true...
Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate...
Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate!
What?
Do you take
Araceli de Alda
to be your lawful wife
in sickness and in health,
for better or worse,
till death do you part?
l do.
The rings.
The other one.
Just amoment.
But it must be here.
lt must be somewhere.
What... My God!
has joined together
let no man put asunder.
Your attention!
This is arevelation!
A sinful present.
Hey, Juantxo, theres amessage
from God for you,
Bless you, dont worry,
you can sin with this chick.
Sugar daddy, come with me,
lll go with you andwell be happy.
Goodvices with me
will be the best
but badvices
are bad for your nose.
Forget the powder and about money,
you dont need it to be happy.
Listen to this song, blessed be...
...those who sin to be happy.
Be good to her, shes a fine girl,
a gift given to you by God.
Saintly Creature.
Youre delicious.
Long live the mother
who gave you birth.
lt seems God has earthly troubles,
his celestial channel has no coverage.
He told me lm his prophet,
a bringer of good news to man.
Enjoy life and carnal sin,
theres nothing more sacred
than reaching paradise
dancing. lf it can be enjoyment,
singing, dancing, singing,...
Dont worry, my love.
You havent lost anything.
Thats my boy.
Or isnt it?
ls it?
Oh, how should l know!
The veteran champions lead 21-9.
Last serve for Retegui
who needs only one more point.
Amazing point for the challenger
they want to get back in the match.
And another point makes 21-11.
21-15now on the scoreboard.
Now theyre level at21.
The challenger has the serve.
The silence is incredible.
Difficult serve, bounce and22-21
Against all the odds,
Beloki is the new champion!
For some the world is blue,
for others its much blacker.
Good evening.
Sorry lm late, fuck.
-lm Serafin.
-Wed given you up.
-Have you brought the money?
-Yes, of course.
-Count it.
-Just sit down, please.
Right. The moneys all here.
15million pesetas each.
The house takes apercentage.
The winner takes 60 million.
You all know the rules?
Who doesnt?
Alain, if you please.
On the plate on the right...
we have one delicious
Amanita caesarea mushroom.
And on the left,
four Amanitaphalloides,
or deathcup mushroom,
absolutely deadly.
Now lm going to make
five omelets,
one with thecaesarea and
four with the phalloides,
which you all have agreed
to eat. Bon apetit.
Right. The rules are simple.
The player who survives
wins the 60 million.
Good luck, and enjoy your meals.
Remember, you can always pull out...
All you will lose is your money.
l dont feel very hungry.
Thank you.
Only four omelets then.
And only one is harmless.
Etvoil+.
Can l start? l like to be
first in everything.
l dont know why l do this.
lm stinking rich.
Son of abitch!
lts nothing personal.
lm allergic to mushrooms.
Your health, gentlemen.
Holy shit!
Right, gentlemen, you decide.
Okay, fifty-fifty then?
Come on, lets see if youve
got the balls.
Eat, you bastard,
its equal odds.
Whats a meal without
bread and wine?
Wherere you from?
-Logroo, sir.
-Gibraltar more like.
Fill it up.
Fucking great!
lve been lucky!
Sorry Serafin, but you can
still pull out.
Pull out? And leave this wine?
You crazy? lm staying because
l need the dough.
But youve got no chance.
lt looks like this gentlemans survived.
So what?
lm a gambler and l never give up.
Right then, if everythings in order...
one of us should snuff it.
Of course, everythings in order.
l dont feel well.
l feel bad, very bad.
l think lm gonna die.
Damned mushrooms, damned chef...
Tough luck!
lm dying! lm dying!
lm sorry, gents...
Cant stop for coffee.
My chauffeurs double-parked.
What aprofessional!
My dear friends...
Father Burutxaga...
Thank you for joining me...
joining us...
...tonight.
lt seems that it falls to me
to announce the forthcoming marriage
of my daughter, Araceli, baby...
and Juantxo Ortiz deZarate.
Next Saturday, the6th.
Apparently his father, Don Serafin
is unable to be with us tonight.
Pity, isnt it Begoa?
What a shame.
There is nothing more
important for amother...
This rotten cow...!
Hi, Angela!
Christ!What a surprise, Hermengilda.
How are you?
Come, sit down with us.
Hi. How are you?
Fine, Angela.
Mom, lll be with Konradin.
l was telling the girls...
that Jesus is the patron saint of pimps.
Did he not
get an erection when he saw
Mary Magdalene on the cross?
l believe its been proved.
lts not in the Scriptures
because it was censored.
Yes, theres nothing more
important for amother...
...than the wedding of her daughter.
Which is why no expense or
sacrifice has been spared.
As you can see from this habit...
There are 20,000 guys our age
in this city.
How come my sisters spent 10 years
running after the same dickhead?
l read about it this morning
in the Guinness...
l didnt think it possible...
l want it to be areally special day.
And lve had two fabluous
diamond rings...
with Colombian emeralds
and two lndian rubies...
all set in white gold
from South Africa
made by our great Basque
artist and designer,
Omar Urretabizkaia.
Thank you, habbibi.
They were rather expensive...
30 million each.
But worth every penny.
Juantxo...
lm givingyou two jewels.
Treat themwith
love and care.
Of course.
Now wed all love to hear
whatyouve got to say.
Speech! Speech!
Come on.
My boy.
Marquise...
and other ladies and gentlemen
of the jury. l mean, in general...
The concept...
This really is a very
important day for me.
-l can only say thank you...
-Conceivedwithout sin...
...especially to the marquise,
who is guilty...responsible
for...all this.
Thanks to my parents,
for everything...
...education, aposition,
and alegal practice...
Three Hail Marys.
lm busy right now.
Ego te absolvo.
The concept is basically...
l think you could say that
lm a very lucky guy.
Go for it, San Sebastian!
And finally
...lets raise our
glasses and toast...
Thats it, a toast!
Give me a glass of that.
lm dry.
Good speech, son, just like
alawyer.
Now take abreak.
Sorry lm late. The traffics
fucking awful.
Startedwithout me, have you?
Well done!
Marquise, you look gorgeous.
Whats with the bishops outfit?
Not permanent, is it?
-Hows the wine?
-Fine, dad.
An 87 Beronia!
Shit! Excellent wine!
lm not...
very good at this
but today is a great day for me.
Jos Mari and Auroris
daughter...
is going to marry my boy, the
eldest...
Just got his degree at thirty.
Took his fucking time!
And now the best bit.
Thirty million, in cash.
The way its more useful
Dad, its too much.
-No its not.
-Youre tipsy.
Carlos! Champagne all round!
These days mens balls
have shrunk to this size.
You guys missed the pelota game.
Boy, was it exciting!
Excitement? Therell be
plenty of that tomorrow.
-Whos playing?
-Us against the Portuguese.
At3 p.m. in my showroom.
What does it say, Angela?
-l bet its something bad.
-Pakos idea for sure.
lts for Juantxo. Pass it to him.
And for Konrado.
Being arebel today has no meaning.
Serafin, its not ajoke.
Lets pay the damn tobacco.
Ye of little faith!
lll get this one.
TUESDAY, GRAND STAG PARTY.
Scandalo. 10 PM.
Konrado Volvos. Hello.
Fitting an airbag, prick?
l bet you havent got the
car for tonight.
-Dad, can l borrow a...?
-No.
Up yours!
Theyll recognize my car.
Dont worry. They all look
the same in the dark.
Sorry.
Youll be like
a pig in clover, Juantxo.
Theyve got some mulatto girls
that are hot stuff, man.
No, guys, lllwait for you outside.
Dont be an asshole,
its your stag night.
-Right.
-lm just not in the mood.
Hey, guys, lm worried about
these spots at the bottom of...
Sometimes the PH of vaginal
fluid irritates the mucus.
What do you know
about mucus, aristocrat?
Have you brought the money,
aristocrat?
Yeah, lve brought the money.
And something more important.
-This.
-Lets see the instructions.
Come on.
What do you think?
The harem.
Dont tell me youve
been here before.
Sure l have.
Lets get laid.
lm going to talk about free
love.
And the only professional of
that love...
...Jesus.
l can see that all of you are rebels.
He was a rebel too.
And l also want to be one.
Long live free love.
Evening, ladies.
lve brought a friend
with bags of money.
Hes getting married Saturday.
Right, marquis?
This ones gonna get his
coffee with two sugars.
Aint he now?
Gently...You like making love dontyou?
Gently.
Poor thing.Where did you get
that anaconda, big boy?
-You come along with me.
-Yes, ladies.
lm arebel
because the world
made me that way.
Because nobody ever
showed me love.
Because nobodys ever
listened to me.
Wow. lts getting as hard as a rock.
This way.
lm a rebel because
lve always been that way.
They refused to give me
what l asked for.
They just failed to understand.
l wanted to be
like any other kid,
any other man
whos happy.
l wanted
to give whats inside me
in return for friendship.
To live
and dream,
and forget rancour,
and sing
and laugh
and give
only
love.
lm married.
Arent they all, honey?
lts just...
Visa card or cash, my love?
Visa or cash?
Ah, now?
ln cash, okay?
Well sort it out later.
But dont make it a habit.
Take your clothes off
and wash it.
Wash what?
Oh, come on, honey.
Ph all the way!
lts freezing!
lm sorry, its a crappy tap.
Did l scald it.
lll never get
the hang of it.
Now with a nice bit of soap.
l dont like being kissed.
Stop, stop!
lll touch you.
-Are your hands clean?
-Of course.
Oh, honey...
it feels like gum.
Well...
Dry yourself.
You gonna give me the money?
lts there.
Excuse me.
Araceli de Alda? ls she your wife?
Yeah.Well, not yet, but...
You should have hangers
in a place like this.
Well...?
Did you enjoy it?
Yeah, it was wild.
Just great.
Youre quite a performer.
Maybe a bit short.
Timewise l mean.
Short but sweet, as they say.
Youre so wise, my love.
And so virile.
l do my best.
Was it really too short?
Hey, youre a romantic.
Youre a sweet guy.
Do you want to do it again?
l think its getting a bit late.
Oh, come on, honey.
Talking is nice too.
l love your accent.
Fuckings not everything.
To making love, l mean.
What do you mean love?
Youre nuts. Thats great.
Ask, ask, lll tell you.
What would you like to know?
One, two, three...
Four.
Pump in,
ventricular,
Pump out,
auricular...
Ventricular
Auricular.
Come on.
lnhale, exhale...
Very good. Youre doing great.
Now l think...
Whats wrong, my love?
You dont like rubbers,
do you?
Yes, l have to relax.
Better darling?
lm relaxing...
Come here,
give me your finger.
Suck my finger, darling.
Wont you do it for me?
-Suck my finger.
-No
Cheers! To eternal screwing
and UFOs.
And fucking them till they
drop.
To death!
Boy, did l sweat!
l fucked her brains out!.
And what apiece of ass,
eh Konra?
Yeah, they were great.
She was gorgeous.
Look at him, Konra.
Not a peep out of him.
Did you score then?
Well, not exactly.
Yes, l did. l mean...
Juantxo, whats the matter?
Are you OK?
My engagement ring.
Fucking kids!
Go kill yourselves!
What happened?
lm sorry about the ring.
-Why?
-Because it was my idea.
Who hit you?
A lot of guys are into
violence.
lt turns them on.
lt was my boss.
For not charging a client.
Look, about the ring...
lm not talking about
the damned ring.
Do you like your boss?
Shit!
Wait...
l like you. A lot.
l thought you were Cuban.
l like you too.
Youre fantastic.
lt may sound like an excuse
but it was my first time.
You were great.
Youre an angel, but l dont
have your ring
l didnt think so.
Whos got it?
lts dangerous.
Please.
Somebody whos into violence.
Your boss?
Whats his name?
Call him over.
-Why?
-l know how to hit too.
Mr Villambrosa isnt here.
Where is he?
Can you really fight?
Sure.
lm a karate black belt.
Hes at the Kokotxa club.
Do you like hitting women?
Thats a shame.
l deserve to be hit.
Poor creature, so full of vice!
Well, thanks, lve got to go.
Bye. Take care, karate kid.
Bye, Sweetheart.
Theyll kill me.
Guys, its all your fault.
-Why did we have to go there?
-Cool it.Well find it.
Nuisance, 6 letters.
Harass.
And did she use her finger
on you, too?
-None of your business.
-What do you mean?
lf you like it up the rear...
Up yours, Pako!
Thats what l mean.
lts not normal.
lts not normal?
All right, its not normal!
Hey, guys, dont get uptight.
Why dont we just let fate
take its course?
According to the theory
of chaos...
Right! You got it.
See, Juantxo, how you get
desperate so easily.
Thats what creates chaos.
Just relax
Listen to some music.
Relax? Youre gonna fucking
kill us!
No fucking way. This cars
what you call life insurance!
Airbags on the drivers and
passengers sides.
Great. ln the back its
my ass thats on the line.
-Dont say that word again!
-l didnt say ass.
-Yes, you did.
-No, l didnt.
-You did!
-l didnt!
Harass. l said harass.
Konrad!
Nuisance... six letters.
Harass.
You said it.
-Crash... collision.
-How many letters?
Stop!
Shit!
DANGER.
BATHlNG PROHlBlTED
Shit!
Today is not our day.
lve wrecked the car!
Fuck me!
Thats all we needed.
So much for the airbags.
Hell, why didnt they work?
Driver, passenger,
life insurance...
Shut up, will you! All this is
for your fucking ring!
And whose idea was it to...
To what? Stick your finger up
her ass or yours?
Up your old mans ass!
Any body hurt?
Not yet, but...
Hey! Are you Villambrosa?
Jesus, do you know me?
No, l dont.
That ring belongs to me.
Where have you been putting
your finger?
You should be ashamed of
yourself!
Cool it, Juanxto. lll handle
this.
Hell tell you.
-l cant hear you.
-Hell tellyou!
Well, Pako decided to organize
a stag party
-By the way, lm Konrado.
-And hes Pako, the driver.
Shit, Konrado! Cut the chat!
lf you think its so easy,
you explain it.
Where was l?
Well, when Juantxo
stuck his...
The Marquise de Alda gave it
to him as her dowry.
Yes, that engagement ring.
So the ring belongs to
that young man?
Please give it back. lts got
huge sentimental value.
What kind of
huge value?
l dunno, millions.
How much was it, Juanxto?
Hey, you!
Come back!
Shitbag!
Hey!
Thief!
Bastard!
Hey!
Shitbag!
Oh, shit, the airbags!
Just when we needed them.
Pako, will you
stop this thing!
Stop this! Shit!
For Gods sake!
lm suffocating!
Try and breathe.
-l cant!
-Take it easy.
lts got limited dimensions
and its explosion-proof.
Hey, mister!
Stop it!
Thats the way it is!
Lets go.
l cant take it anymore.
-The damage doesnt look too bad!
-Are you stupid?
Konra, wherere you going?
Theres a huge chance that
itll explode.
Why should it explode?
-Like in Starsky and Hutch.
-lf you say so.
Shit! run!
Run!
Rats!
Filthy blackmailers!
Some people have got
no scruples.
30 million for
some crap photos
that are out of focus.
That fucking kid
was pretty cute. lncredible!
Hello? Yes, yes.
lts Mr Villambrosa.
Palomeque, watch the puddle.
What about the briefcase?
l wanted the thirty million
here today.
Today, tod..ay!
Look, Mr Candidate,
l have business in Portugal.
And lve got problems with Souza.
Every time l talk
to him my ulcer plays up.
Sir, l think we should call
it a day.
l want to master this game before
the elections.
Theres still aweek to go.
Youll have the money tomorrow.
Your money and the gift
you wanted.
Still unopened.
You realize lm a good investment
in your future.
Dont forget that.
Bye for now
Mr President.
Excuse me, sir, were at
the hole...
l dont feel very well.
Tourino, call Souza. No more
fuck ups.
Listen about Russian Omelette...
Call the Portuguese guy.
Youre right there.Wait.
Pakos right.
You cant go back without
the ring, Juantxo.
lve been away from home
for 20 hours.
Yeah, thats true. Hold on.
His fiancee hasnt heard
from him.
So fucking what?
Wait a second.
You guys are driving me nuts.
lm outta here.
Hey! Kiddos, you, Konrad,
we need a car.
And Juantxo, we need money.
No way!
l Copied it exactly.
But the best thing was when they
put their glasses on.
l just dont know.
Glasses!
Hey, Guys!
l dunno.
ALENTEJO,
SOUTHERN PORTUGAL.
Joao Villambrosa.
-My friend. How are you?
-Fine.
But worse than you for sure.
Hows the ulcer?
Better, thanks.
lts been fine
for the past few weeks.
ln fact...
Since l last talked to you.
You should control that temper
of yours.
lll give you a home-made remedy
on Friday. At the casino.
Brazilian medicine.
Dont bother.
On Friday lll forget my
pains as soon as l see the cattle.
lm bringing the best girls
youve ever seen.
Not just because l respect you.
l also have my own motives...
Your cooperation means alot to me.
Yes, in Arosanot only will we
sign our partnership
but also seal our friendship.
By the way,
could we not bring the
the swap forward to today?
lll tell Fatima do Espirito
Santo.
-See you on Friday in my casino.
-Look after your health.
Thanks. Dont wor...
l feel worse.
Now l hear you better, Tourino.
We cant pick up the microwaves
inside.
We dont have a satellite dish.
Listen, Pazos, were not going
that way, so listen.
Have you got the crabs?
Crabs?
No, its not the season.
Only in the months with r in them
January, February...
l said crabs.
Ten kilos worth.
The coke?
Why didnt you say so?
Yes, the order arrived.
Who will pick up the drop?
The Portuguese will
be there at 6.
The goods are worth 30 million.
Take the money and bring it to
Arosa.
Do you think you
can manage that?
Come on, boss,
just trust me.
lm an old hand at this.
Theyre professionals so try
and act like one.
lts as easy as peeling abanana.
Give my regards
to Mr Villambrosa...
Sorry.
My poor child.
All under control, sir.
Pass me an Almax.
Theyre real busy.
No, Konra, thats showing off.
-Sure this is it, guys?
-Yeah, of course it is.
La Kokotxa. Look, prawns!
Afternoon. Mr Villambrosa?
Of course.
lve just spoken to him.
l dunno, l expected you to have
an accent.
Good afternoon.
Excuse me, but we think you have
something that belongs to us.
Yes, in aminute.
But have a drink first.
You must be tired.
-Yeah. Of going up and down.
-We got lost three times.
Well just relax.Weve got some
girls youre gonna love.
On the house, as usual.
Youre very hospitable.
Very kind. Nice and cool.
By the way,
what about Villambrosa?
Hes fine, thanks. lll tell him
you asked after him.
Now tell me, has your car got
airbags?
Driver, passenger and side, just
fitted.
Fucking professional.
Like aring on a finger.
Mr Villambrosa could be a
bit more discreet.
Did he say he was coming?
Hes very definitely
coming or not coming.
He was very clear on that matter.
l couldnt hear him very well.
Weve had trouble with the
imm mobile phone.
Listen.
Mr Villambrosa left the matter
in my hands.
So no need to worry
Everything will work out o.k.
But now... a concept.
Why dont you relax and get laid?
Weve got plenty of time.
And lll go get organized.
Marquitos! Tonin! Back to
work. Fuck!
Were pushed for time. And feed
those fucking hens!
l painted this in my hippy phase.
-What do you think?
-Exquisite, colorful.
lm an artist, man.
l was a sailor, a welterweight,
and a sculptor.
But they dont appreciate me.
Move it!
Nayat!
Navratilova!
Ones Arabic, the others
Chechen.
High class, real pros.
Wheres the fire?
Well, well.
Three young uns.
Great.
Sorry, but lve come here to...
No, you take it easy.
You and me are going to have
a few drinks.
Us partners have got to get to
know one another.
Girls...
Give em some liposuctions.
You know what l mean?
l do indeed.
God, what abunch of wimps!
Palmira, open that bottle of
grappa of mine.
-Grappa?
-l was keeping it...
for a special occasion.
l can see youve
got a good eye.
lts not the standard Mini-Uzi.
lts the Micro-Uzi SMG.
Sub machine Gun.
A killing machine. A real gem.
Youd noticed of course.
-Hold it.
-No.
-Hold it!
-No.
Hold it for fucksakes!
Holy shit!
And theres me explaining.
Shit! These foreigners come
really prepared.
So machine gun, eh?
Palmira, another bottle!
Very professional.
Right, thats it.
Christ, there are more tourists.
coming every day
What a sight!
What a vision!
Dont get any ideas.
She wont look atyou.
Wanna bet?
Hi.
Smells of gunpowder.
l like it.
Were you expecting me?
All my life.
lm Fatima do Espirito Santo.
l understandyou know about
airbags.
Oh no, not again.
My partners an expert. He
spends all day fitting them.
Fantastic!
l like driving fast.
And l think ld feel safer
with one of those things.
Could you look at my airbags?
We dont mind, do we Konrad?
Where were we?
l like going fast...
...and coming slow:
Hello. Oh, its you.
l have to check the airbags.
Of course.
Lets get out.
After 15 years of marriage,
with the kids at the best
schools in Cam Ford...
They had everything.
Now lm alone. All alone.
Ah, Carmina.
Her in Galicia
and me in the Basque country.
lm sorry, man. lt upsets me.
Go ahead and cry.
Let off some steam.
You said it. lm all choked up.
You understand, dont you?
Of course.
Damn it all!
Come on El Depor!
You were right
l didnt listen to you.
l have to accept that
with a glass in front of me.
My head feels heavy
How l suffer.
l swear l need
to return.
Theres a woman all alone
waiting for me too.
The hell with it!
All checked, maam.
Konra, this is my friend...
Glad to meet you.
So machine gun.
lm leaving.
Now?
l owe you a dance.
What the fuck...
And the ring?
Fucking bitch!
Hey, amigo.
Wheres Villambrosa?
Watch your step with Villambrosa.
Hes a son of a bitch.
Hes got money in ambulance,
Hell be at the Big Club.
The best place weve got.
Swish place. You ought to
see it.
Straight ahead at the intersexual,
and you cant miss it.
Okay, Pazos.
What do we owe you?
-lts on the house.
-Lets go then.
My money aint good enough
for you or what?
Dickhead!
Fucking hell!
lll blow your fucking heads off!
A bit of respect, Chrissakes.
Easy, guys.
Pazos is a cool dude.
Quit clowning around.
Hand over the fucking case.
What case?
The one you got in your hand,
fucker.
Hes just goofing around.
Now lets check the goods.
First something to fire you up.
No, Pazos, amigo.
No more firing, please.
We trust each other then.
Between you guys and Villambrosa
theres an important engagement...
-The ring. 30 million pesetas worth.
-Thats why were here.
30 million. l know.
Trust is everything.
Professional.
Very professional.
Harder!
Harder!
-Well lll be fucked!
-Nothing.
Son of abitch.
Nobody outsmarts Fatima.
Hey, Mr Tourino.
How are you?
Tell the president hell have
to tighten his belt.
We did the swap.
But their case was sort of...
sort of...
sort of e-m-p-t-y!
Empty!
Youll have the goods, Mr Souza. Leave
it to me in a few minutes.
No, l didnt know.
How was l to know it was
a jack in the box?
Travelling with your buddies.
Money in your pocket and the
tank full of gas.
And alot of road ahead.
200 km to the Big Club.
The world is red.
lts blue.
lts all black to me.
The ring. Son of abitch.
Dont stop.
They look like punks.
-Who?
-Those hitchhikers.
Holy Christ and all the saints
in abarrel!
Stop after the bend!
Well wait further on.
Was that good luck, corporal
or bad luck?
What do you mean, lieutenant?
Three cars almost run us
down in a few seconds.
Thats bad luck.
But they didnt.
So thats good luck.
lts a dilemma.
lt depends how
you look at it.
Sir, arent you going to
question them?
Of course.
Afternoon.
Why didnt you brake before?
Do you mean before in space
or in time?
Good question.
The 1st would be that seeing you,
l should have braked before.
The 2nd would mean that
having braked
the car wouldnt stop in time.
lnteresting.
So the ultimate question would be:
whos to blame, car or driver?
Guilty.
l understand.
Another dilemma.
So ask the question again
properly this time.
Konrad, cut the chat.
Allow me, lieutenant.
Afternoon.
The cars papers.
-Konrad, where are they?
-lll get them.
Sorry.
lm alawyer, eh?
Get him to specify which papers.
Listen, smartasses.
Get the papers out of the
fucking car right now...
Or lll throw the fucking book
atyou.
-Dont hit the car, its new.
-So what!
So fuckingwhat?
Didnt l tellyou l was a
lawyer, you clown?
Flathead!
-Hes drunk.
-Get out.
Dont hit the car, please.
Get out of the car.
Right...
now!
What the fuck are you doing?
Stop that!
Follow them!
lll call the station.
No, well both
call the station.
Well both call. That way
well make absolutely sure.
l smell crabs.
Your driving turns me on,
you bastard.
Come on, step on it.
Theyre ours.
l told you they
were terrorists, lieutenant.
Get out! Get out!
Will you listen to me, damn it!
Let the lawyer speak.
Fuck!
l cant remember why...
But l am not going in there
-No way!
-No chance!
-This is aparadise.
-Paradise.
We shouldnt forget
why were here.
We wont.
-Well just check out the place.
-Lets go.
-Evening, gentlemen.
-Evening.
Monica!
Shell fit the bracelets and
explain the rules.
Hi.
-Welcome to the Big Club.
-Thanks.
Services are registered here.
Please come with me, gentlemen.
Shallwe go in?
What goes in must come out.
Two, four and six.
Pazos!
What the fucks going o~?
Lieutenant Llorente.
Great to see you in the club again:
What the hell
was all that shooting?
And those alarms...
and guns.
We thought we heard screams
but it was a false alarm.
Get ready for an inspection
downstairs.
Sorry.
Pazitos, Pazitos.
Come on, boys.
Lets go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Big Club
Will be closing its door in a few minutes.
Dont forget our special offer
for Easter.
Thank you for your visit.
Smallworld, isnt it?
-Hes not here.
-The next one then:
Okoito.
-Whats that?
-Bad PH.
Lts war.
Hey, any cash left?
A bit.
Four more.
L pass.
-Do you like it, mom?
-You look great.
Beautiful, dear.
Lts the same as the one
on Thursday, but worse...
Help yourselves.
Theres more than enough.
Mom, Obsolete Love
has started.
Episode 2005
Jose Alberto, my love,
whats the real reason?
lm beginning to think
you dont want to marry me.
All right, Esmeralda,
lll tell you my secret.
When l find my real father
lll come back
and marry you.
And you know why?
-Because l love you.
-Yes.
Thats arelief.
Of course l do.
He wont come back.
Come on, Araceli,
please dont cry.
Youll get us all going.
lts probably
just a childish prank.
lts all Pakos fault.
l know it.
lf they dont show
up tonight...
that bitch and her bastard
will know whats good for them.
lts the wedding of the year
and nobody will wreck it.
Dont worry.
lf anything had happened
wed have heard by now.
Theyre not in any hospital
and l checked with the morgue.
Grave accusations of corruption
and association with criminals
have affected the candidates
latest public appearances.
The voters have seen what
the oppositions up to...
slandering me,
connecting me with undesirables.
Perhaps because of my fight
against drugs,
juvenile delinquency,
and uncontrolled immigration.
Is that why?
So let them prove their charges
if they can.
Thats how the meeting in the
Basque country
of the presidential candidate
Santiago Paino ended.
Hes the leading candidate
in the presidential race
according to all the polls.
Pako, the window.
According to the girls
we should be close.
Konra, how much more?
Loads, but thats my last.
Or second last.
Youre out of it.
Juantxo, how much more?
I told you yesterday.
There are some bills left.
To hell with you! Im all alone.
Man is all alone.
Vanesita...
She didnt charge me.
Look at him.
Hes crying like ababy.
Guys...
What are we doing?
Im a drug addict.
Ive wrecked my life.
And your wedding, Juantxo...
Dont worry.
Well sort it out.
Take it easy, okay?
Sir, if theres gang warfare
itll ruin the campaign.
We musnt be connected
with any...
Dont get my balls
in an uproar!
I pay you to solve problems
not to fuck me around.
-Do you want awood...?
-A club. A clubbing...
We have to avoid scandals.
Okay... Call Villambrosa.
He always calls us.
What an honour.
What a surprise.
Marquise...
Allow me.
I received
your very generous donation
to the party. Thanks.
The interests of a country
are above
small personal sacrifices.
Just what I like to hear.
Positive people...
people in favour of things.
Speaking of favours...
I came here to ask one of you.
A favour.
My dear, no favours.
From you I only take orders.
Im like a fox terrier,
a dobermann,
awild orangutan trained
to serve you.
At your service...
to the end.
Golf
isnt your game, is it?
I prefer cards. All that
swing and green and tee.
Its sissy stuff.
Exactly.
Stick your butt out.
Little house on the prairie
You want the money but not to
get even with Souza.
And that aint easy, Paino.
l know readings notyour
thing,
but its the second time
this week
Ive seen your name next to mine.
So the problem
with Souza can wait.
All right...
therell be no war.
Youll have alot to thank
me for, Mr President.
I like the sound of that.
Tourino.
Call Souza.
Your men have got the
30 million.
But we havent seen
one single gram.
War!
Thats the last thing aman
my age wants.
I trust Fatima.
Tell me where and when.
My men will be there.
Unarmed.
We musnt endanger our
alliance.
Ill see you at your new casino,
my old friend.
Tourino.
Tell Pazos to be
at the stadium at seven.
To fix things with
the Portuguese.
No weapons.
-But hell have to talk.
-Then hell have to learn.
-Hello, whats your name?
-Rosana.
When do I start work?
Poor princess in captivity.
Can I call home now?
Youll soon have
your own phone.
Let them go!
But step on it!
Well gain an hour
and a quarter.
You dont know where the fuck
we are.
Cool it, this is
a great short cut.
God! Like in Angola!
This way well get
them head on.
Fire!
Fools!
Hopeless idiot!
Too bumpy!
Bastard!
Its Mr Souza, maam.
Mr Souza.
Yes, sir.
What, sir? Make peace?
No weapons?
No weapons.
I understand, Mr. Souza.
But, sir...
Yes, sir.
What the hell are you doing?
-From now on lll drive.
-Cocaine makes you aggressive.
Anxiety, right? Anxiety.
Your drivings too jerky.
I feel awful, guys.
No more of that shit for me.
You can drive...
after the short cut.
Congratulations, Mrs or is it Miss?
Not all your men are here,
but congratulate them.
Theyre real pros.
Its Miss.
Youre very kind
but I think youre wrong.
Id have liked to see
all your men here, too.
And one in particular.
Congratulate them from me.
Lets not get
into hieroglyphics.
Were hear to clarify
a couple of concepts.
Our bosses insist we
get along together...
so lll make an effort.
lf you tell us where
our money is.
When you give us whats
ours...
well discuss that concept
in order to discuss it.
I see.
Thats as clear as you can get.
Look, baby.
Here we have a question.
The concept is the concept.
Thats the question.
For example, youre
an educated woman.
And l dont object in respective
to that because Im broad minded.
I dont go around saying all
women are bitches in heat...
even if I think so.
But what about the concept?
I defer to the facts.
Very impressive.
I havent given you so much
thought.
And the concept?
No, I already said that.
Oh, fuck!
What does it say here?
Well, lets try and
get on together...
or alot of blood
could be shed.
Mr Souzais respected
all over Portugal.
In your country too.
For two good reasons.
(a) he never
double-crosses anyone and b)
he hates being double-crossed.
(a) and (b), huh?
Mr Villambrosa, who is a jentlemen.
Told me to sort
this out with pacifism.
So, a)Just as l could say
one thing l could say another.
And b)...
Watch it,
cos maybe youll get a ...
Mines longer than yours.
Hello.
l told you not to call me at work.
And me too...
Pumpkin Pie.
lts going to be a grand night.
Just aroulette or two to
fix up, thats all.
-Get it ready for tonight.
-Mr Paino
said he had to speak to you.
About the meeting
with the Portuguese.
The board room is ready
for you to sign the agreement
with Mr Souza.
Have you heard from Pazos?
Not a thing, sorry sir.
-Come on, Roxanne.
-Rosana, maam.
Locked away, asking for help.
l think shes looking at me.
Hes got a temperature.
l dont like the look
of that bleeding.
Lack of sleep, too much coke.
The bodys an enigma.
We have to call home.
-We agreed not to.
-To Pakos place.
Herme will understand.
Just say were okay.
Were heading back.
The weddings the day
after tomorrow.
We agreed wed get the ring.
Fuck the ring!
Dont talk bullshit!
Head for the next harem.
Get a hair of
the dog that bit you!
Get the map out,
Konra, hell!
Straight on to the
House on the prarie.
But first we need a...
Reanimator, the drink with ginseng.
SPAIN
Killings?
-Which gang was it?
-Three experts.
Experts?
Theyre not freelance.
Theyre Villambrosas men.
l can smell it.
Dos Barros, tell the boys.
Fantastic.
Pity shes going
to that politician.
Fonseca would have got
much more out of her.
-Something went wrong.
-What do you mean?
There was another gang.
Three guys in a Volvo. Pros.
So, another bunch
of jokers.
At the worst possible moment.
Those boys
have made abig mistake.
Obsolete Love.
Episode 2006
l dont know aboutyou,
but lve made up my mind.
The police should be involved
as soon as possible:
And if not, well call
the Government representative.
Well, l think...
Tere, please.
Youre not going to report my
son missing
like some lost Pekinese.
We must reach an agreement.
Then decide if we call the
police or the army or...
Thats it, the army.
Theyre probably just
out on the town.
We did the same before we
got married.
You fool, the weddings in
sixteen hours.
Maybe hes smarter
than we were and...
Dont be an idiot! How dare
you in front of Begoa and...
Peace, Aurori.
Peace, for Gods sake.
My dears, l think youre all
abit touchy.
There is something l wanted to say.
l wasnt going to, but were
all one big family.
Yesterday l was worried about
Juantxo and the boys,
so l decided to take action.
l went to see Presidential
Candidate Paino.
His security service is
looking for the boys.
This evening well have all the
information.
You know me.
Always a step ahead.
Look, look.
A democrat on TV
A decision which could be
described as surprising.
After receiving
certain indecent photos,
Judge Rueda ordered
the imprisonment of Presidential
Candidate Santiago Paino.
He is accused of illegal financing,
association with criminals
and paedophilia.
lts all apack of lies,
aplot, a trick.
How was l to know
she was only ten?
The parents are to blame...
for dressing them
up like whores...
Oh, my God,
What are we going to do?
-Back to square one.
-Worse.
ln this country imprudence
has a high price.
Pako is to blame. Hes abad
egg and sos his mother.
Were going to make a fool
of ourselves tomorrow.
-Pako once asked me for a fellatio.
-A what?
-Me too.
-ln your dreams!
Thats it.
lm going to call the police and
look for that old slut, Herme.
And see what she has to say.
Shell be gadding about
as usual.
What apitiful woman.
Whether she likes it or not,
shell have to explain.
Whenever you want, my dear.
Sorry maam.
She wouldnt wait.
lve been waiting outside
for awhile.
Long enough.
What awful cakes.
From the local store,
arent they?
lve never really
felt the need
to talk to you as a group.
But nows a good time.
We were going to call you,
But we thought
you wouldnt come.
Being invited is less fun.
This is ridiculous.
We all think Pakos to blame.
Hes a bad influence on them.
Thats true. lm tired of all
this hypocrisy.
What frankness, ladies!
l feel obliged to reply.
The truth is l was getting
worried about Pako.
Too many hours with your boys.
l feared he was becoming
like them.
An imbecile.
How dare you!
But after whats happened
lve discovered that
fortunately, theyre
just like their fathers.
You dont mean your husband.
He left you 15 years ago.
Joao...
lt was l who left
that son of abitch.
Look, the weddings tomorrow
and weve got a serious problem.
lts your sons who have the problem,
not you.
And that problem
is their parents.
Serafin, are you going to let
this slut insult us?
Serafin will say nothing
to this slut because hes a
gambler and whore monger.
What?
Herme... dear... dont stir
things up.
Or do, or l dont know.
AndJose Mari,
and Konrado
are demanding clients,
almost fussy,
but exceedingly generous.
You slanderous slut!
Did it never occur to you
that all these cheap
bankers and politicians
you sleep with
Come later to my clubs.
And they talk.
And notvery nicely,
my poor Jose Mari.
Youre despicable.
Get out
of my house or lll call...
My best customers?
Yes, l know.
Take it easy, dear.
lm afraid l cant stay.
My masseur charges by the hour.
By the way,
lve got news from the boys.
Theyre...
theyre fine.
Dont worry about the wedding.
ltll all turn out fine.
Goodbye...
ladies.
Jose Alberto,
lm your real father.
Bingo, that bastards Cadillac!
What a joint, guys.
Well, were here then.
We cant fail now.
That bastards got the ring
but its not going to be easy.
He may well have a bodyguard.
How do you feel then?
Fucking great!
All set to go.
We have to stick together.
Well try and play it cool
lf that doesnt work...
Well improvise.
Yeah, improvise.
As usual.
Well it looks like
he aint here.
Well have to look elsewhere.
So lets split up, OK?
lll stick around here.
No need to worry about me.
Okay, Konrad.
What about you, Pako?
lll check out the bar.
You know, bartenders
remember peoples faces.
lll go on my own then.
And be careful...
with the PH.
Could you give me arough
idea of how to play this game?
Of course, sir.
Mr Villambrosa?
Excuse me.
What did you say?
Good evening, kind man.
l was just telling
Einstein here...
that l want to speak
to Mr Villambrosa.
For what purpose?
Look...
l lost my engagement ring
up a mulatto girls ass.
Mr Villambrosa chanced upon it.
And lve been following him
from one brothel to the next.
So l guess hes expecting me.
Come in, come in.
What a joker!
Hurry up,
the games starting.
Here l am.
l know you, dont l?
Yes, we have met once before.
Excuse me, sir.
What is it?
Nothing serious, sir.
Can you come please?
lf youll excuse me
for a moment, please.
-How are you, sir?
-What is it?
l didnt realize at first
but unless lm very mistaken
the empty case those bastards
gave me at the club is
identical to the one we gave to the
Basque who ruined the Russian Omelet.
And what the hell does that mean?
Not a fucking clue, boss.
Excuse me.
A small concept.
Do you play with wild cards?
Of course not.
The concept,
that is the question.
Hey, Pazos!
What a surprise!
-Sir?
-Yes.
Hes one of the professionals.
The worst, the most dangerous.
Come on, El Deportivo!
Gentlemen,
lm afraid the game is off.
Right now,
Mr Villambrosa.
l have to point out
that that ring,
as you well know, is not yours,
but mine.
Now l remember.
You were in the crashed car.
And before that with Vanessa.
We have the same
tastes, young man.
Do we really?
Like hell we do.
A small interruptus.
Whats your fathers name?
Serafin. Why?
The father takes our money
and the son the cocaine.
Damned Basques! Sons of...
Wait aminute.
What money?
lm sorry but we havent
robbed anybody.
That ring is mine.
Whats your game?
Well, young man...
As you can see,
this is aplace for gambling,
so if you want the ring,
and you dont have my money
to pay for it...
well gamble for it.
Your father seems
to enjoy gambling.
And hes got balls.
Lets see if youre his son
or the postmans.
Your turn.
Right on!
What apro!
Goddamn kid!
You got balls, kiddo.
You sure do.
But what good are they
if youre a looney?
Not too smart either.
Theres only one bullet left.
And as lm the generous type,
l would like you to accept it.
lm sorry.
l couldnt let you go.
Bye.
Holy shit, awoman!
Christ! Angela!
My daughter!
What?
Come on, Angelita, my darling.
lm your father.
Hes her father.
A present for you, dad.
They have a family thing.
They say he tried
to get his leg over her.
And if that happens in a family,
its bad news.
Yep.
No, not this one.
So you had my money.
A thief whos robbed...
deserved it anyway.
Court is adjourned.
Lets go.
Submachine gun.
Dont worry about it.
Gentlemen,
we cant stay for coffee.
Thats 5,650,000 pesetas.
On the same number. 13.
Have you been playing long,
Almost an hour.
Got it! Lets go!
Dont spoil the streak, Juantxo.
Look at this.
Are you crazy?
l was born to play this game.
Whats going on?
Why the hell are you dressed
up like that, Angela?
Come on, were are leaving.
Even if l have
to dragyou out.
Security!
What have you done, guys?
Guns! Dozens of them!
Think of something, Konra.
Where they least expect it.
The front door.
-All right!
-Logical. l love you, Konra.
l saw it in Starsky and Hutch.
Theyre thieves!
Theyve stolen the takings.
-Dont give them the ring.
-No way!
l dont think they want it.
4 Thieves Killed
by the security services
of the Arosa Casino.
Therere dozens of witnesses.
Theyre citizens, and this city
belongs to me.
And the judges too.
Everything could also be yours,
my children.
Your son? How?
Pako, this is papa.
Yes, Jos Francisco...
You dont remember because
you were studying abroad,
paid for by me.
lt cant be true.
Son of abitch!
Listen, Jose Francisco.
Fuck you, dad!
lt was all a...
-set up.
-Yes, a set up.
Pure slander.
Your mother
couldnt prove it.
l wasnt allowed to testify
in court.
But now l will.
Thats enough!
l gave you one last chance.
Theyre all yours.
So much for
Starsky and Hutch, eh Konra!
-Konra?
-Hey, guys, this way!
Pako!
Pako!
Come on! ldiot!
Come on!
lts locked.
Shoot at the door.
The world is blue.
Lets go!
Konra, thats not style.
-lts showing off.
-l was improvising.
Come on, this way.
Whats wrong?
-Leave me alone, lm O.K.
-So lets go.
Go and start the car!
Fuck! l dont get it.
Pako!
Trust me and start the car
for Chrissake!
You owe me a dance.
Sorry, precious, you
took too long.
A shame. Bye, darling.
Bye.
ls that mine?
That motherfucking pretty boy.
Theyve got the money
and the coke.
They mustnt escape.
l hate to admit youre right.
Tires are flat,
lets use the Dodge.
Theres no room for you, fool!
lf you squeeze over:
Theyre getting away!
They wont get far.
Fatima, you always
surprise me.
Give me that!
Carmina?
lm quitting this.
lts too stressing.
No, not interesting,
stressing.
Hey, Carmina.
You were right.
But l wouldnt listen
l have to admit it
with a glass in front of me
and my head feels heavy,
how l suffer.
l swear l need to return.
Thank you
for coming, Governor,
its a great honor.
Thank you.
What a tragedy.
He went and did it.
l cant believe it.
My own son.
l have to say it.
We cant wait any longer.
The shame of it!
l want to die.
lm going to
say a few words.
Quiet, quiet please.
Quiet.
Quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen,
as you can see
its 12:30 and everythings ready.
But l regret to tell you
that the wedding
will not take place.
Will not take place
exactly on time.
lm sorry for the slight delay.
Thank you.
Juantxo, thats no style,
lts just showing off.
All right. All right.
-Hello, Sweetheart.
-You had me worried, idiot!
Such a fool.
-What in Gods name...
-Shut up.
You had me worried to death.
For Christsake, mom.
-Watch your language.
-Fuck!
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to join together
Juantxo
Ortiz deZarate
and Araceli de Alda.
Oh, Lord,
grant them eternal rest.
What took you so long?
A few problems with your ex.
Yes, l heard about
it on the radio.
No, thats the funeral rites...
Ah yes, dearly beloved, its true...
Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate...
Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate!
What?
Do you take
Araceli de Alda
to be your lawful wife
in sickness and in health,
for better or worse,
till death do you part?
l do.
The rings.
The other one.
Just amoment.
But it must be here.
lt must be somewhere.
What... My God!
has joined together
let no man put asunder.
Your attention!
This is arevelation!
A sinful present.
Hey, Juantxo, theres amessage
from God for you,
Bless you, dont worry,
you can sin with this chick.
Sugar daddy, come with me,
lll go with you andwell be happy.
Goodvices with me
will be the best
but badvices
are bad for your nose.
Forget the powder and about money,
you dont need it to be happy.
Listen to this song, blessed be...
...those who sin to be happy.
Be good to her, shes a fine girl,
a gift given to you by God.
Saintly Creature.
Youre delicious.
Long live the mother
who gave you birth.
lt seems God has earthly troubles,
his celestial channel has no coverage.
He told me lm his prophet,
a bringer of good news to man.
Enjoy life and carnal sin,
theres nothing more sacred
than reaching paradise
dancing. lf it can be enjoyment,
singing, dancing, singing,...
Dont worry, my love.
You havent lost anything.
Thats my boy.
Or isnt it?
ls it?
Oh, how should l know!