Alien from L.A. (1988) Movie Script
Wanda,
the creep broke up with you...
over your answering machine.
I just want to know why
he broke up.
He doesn't like you.
Thanks, Daisy.
You should've gone blonder.
He's here.
- You got my message, right?
- Yeah, I did, Robbie.
I just wanted to...
Wanted to, what,
harass me about breaking up?
No. I just want to know why.
What did I do wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong,
Wanda.
I thought you really liked me.
You said I was special...
so naturally,
I want to know why.
Wanda,
you never want to go anywhere.
I do so.
I know...
two blocks, to the beach.
You didn't want to go
on the camping trip...
to the Grand Canyon
or rock climbing in Yosemite...
or to the Fourth of July party
in Ensenada.
I get car sick.
I told you I'd fly you there.
I'm scared of flying.
You know that.
You're scared of everything.
What else is wrong with me?
Look, what's the point?
You obviously have
a serious problem...
and we've wasted
the whole summer because of it.
There's only two weeks
left in August...
and I want to salvage
something, all right?
Robbie, please.
Let's talk about it.
I can change. I want to change.
Just tell me
what you don't like about me.
You won't change, Wanda.
Please, Robbie.
Give me a chance.
What don't you like about me,
and I'll change.
All right, your glasses
make you look stupid.
Your hair's ugly.
You dress like a nerd.
You walk like a clod.
Your voice gives me a headache.
Is that enough?
How come you never told me this
before, huh?
Why'd you even go out with me
in the first place...
if I'm such a geek?
Look, Wanda, I'm really sorry
I hurt you. I didn't mean to.
But you are who you are. We're
just not right for each other.
Good-bye.
Yeah, sure. OK.
Whoa. Way to go.
All this rejection
is really getting to me.
I mean, it seems ever since
I was a kid I've been rejected.
Hey, you.
Even my own dad. He left me.
He's an explorer, Wanda.
It's his job to travel
and not be home.
- For ten years?
- Well, so, he's been real busy.
And what about my mom?
She's left.
She got hit by a car and died,
Wanda. She didn't have a choice.
Sorry.
Oh, you're right.
She didn't have a choice.
But my dad did.
Where's Wanda?
No one wants me... for anything.
I want you. I want you to get
your butt out of this car...
and come give me a hand.
I'm dying here.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm...
and I'm not going to be afraid
to change my life.
This time, I'm going to do it.
This time, I'm...
Please, God.
You make something happen
in my life...
anything at all, really.
Anything.
Wanda Saknussemm?
I can't believe it. I'll bet
it's from my brother-in-law.
You're Wanda Saknussemm?
Behind the counter, and tell
her to get her butt out here.
I need those four shakes.
- I ordered a cheeseburger.
- I ordered a cheeseburger, too.
Three burgers.
Oh, excuse me.
Wanda Saknussemm?
Yeah. I'm Wanda Saknussemm.
Special delivery from Africa.
Would you like
to sign here, please?
There we go.
Right.
That's great. Thanks very much.
Right.
Oh, my God.
What's the matter?
My father's dead.
It says he fell down
a bottomless pit.
I'm sorry, Wanda.
Who wrote you?
A man named Paddy Mahoney.
He says he was dad's friend
and business partner.
He owns a bar somewhere
in Zamboanga, North Africa.
Mr. Mahoney
wants me to come see him.
He even sent a plane ticket.
Why?
I guess dad's made a will
he wants me to deal with.
You're not going to go,
are you, honey?
But I should probably go,
Auntie Pearl.
I mean, Mr. Mahoney
thinks it's important enough...
to send me a plane ticket...
and I would like to see
where dad lived.
I've always been curious
about his life.
Honey, going to Zamboanga
ain't like going to the beach.
It's a long journey, and you
never know what might happen.
I've been looking for
something to change my life.
Maybe this is it.
I know I said anything, but
isn't this a little extreme?
Wanda,
you never want to go anywhere.
Wish me luck.
I get car sick.
I told you I'd fly you there.
I'm scared of flying.
You know that.
You're scared of everything.
I can change. I want to change.
You won't change, Wanda.
I'll show you, Robbie.
Your father was a great man...
a pioneer.
His colleagues
thought he was crazy.
They laughed at him.
He dedicated
the rest of his life...
to proving them wrong
and regaining his self-respect.
So, all this time
he's been searching...
for the center of the earth.
Yes. His excavation
is down in the basement.
Cool.
I'm surprised to see this.
Your father
cared a lot about you.
Well, he sure showed it
in a weird way.
He was a strange man.
You look like
you could do with some rest.
Boy, it's a long trip to Africa.
But I'm glad you invited me,
Mr. Mahoney.
It's probably the only chance
I'll have to get to know him.
He left so long ago.
Did you try to find my dad?
I tried. We keep the pit lit.
I go down there every day
to look for him...
but it all seems so unlikely.
I would've given anything
to see him again.
Sweet dreams, Wanda.
''Man's ultimate ancestors...
''were aliens
known as Atlanteans.
''Don't laugh.
''They arrived on earth
with the idea of colonizing.
''The Atlanteans
giant spaceship...
''served as their floating city.
''It sank into the bowels
of the earth...
''during
the volcanic catastrophe...
''destroying the spaceship...
''but perhaps not
the Atlantean people.
''They might still live...
''at the center of the earth.''
Wow.
Too heavy, dad.
Mom.
Dad?
Dad?
Wow.
Oh, God!
Mr. Mahoney!
Help!
Help!
I have a feeling
I'm not in Kansas.
My glasses.
We'll never lose them again,
will we?
Never let them escape again.
Right, right, Loki?
How'd you claim jumpers
ever find this mine?
You'll never be
out of our eyes again.
No. No eyes. No, no, no.
No. Never.
It won't be easy
trying to steal my claim.
Because you're going
to have to plug me first.
Looks easy to me.
One yank of the trigger,
and you die.
I got to do something.
You can tell us
where the vein is.
Tell us where the main vein is!
Tell us!
You OK?
Yeah, I'm OK. Are you OK?
Are you going to hurt them?
Why not?
Because it's not right...
or nice.
They'll kill me if I don't.
Be a nice guy, mister.
I better not regret this.
What's that?
What it looks like...
a troll mule.
He killed him?
No. It's hibernating.
Come on, Loki.
- Come on.
- Where are we?
Atlantis. Where else?
Atlantis.
It's possible...
isn't it?
Where did you think we were?
You really live underground,
don't you?
Don't you?
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
I'm looking for my dad.
And I guess he's in Atlantis...
and I don't know where to start.
Well, this is
the Atlantis wasteland.
The city Atlantis...
is a day's ride.
You're not going to leave me
here with these guys.
Look, I got to bounce
to the city to file my claim...
before somebody else
tries to steal it.
Thanks a lot for helping me out,
but see you later.
Hey, wait a minute.
You owe me, don't you?
I mean, I could've let them
kill you, but I didn't, did I?
No. I saved your life.
I think you should at least
take me to Atlantis.
I mean, that's not
asking a lot, after all...
is it?
Well, get in.
Gee, I'm sorry, mister.
Come on. Get in.
I'm telling you,
something's wrong with you.
Wait a second.
Get in on that side.
Here.
Better put these on.
It gets kind of muddy out here.
All right. Come on, sweetheart.
Please turn over.
My glasses.
Where are you from, anyway?
It's a long story.
Well, it's a long drive
to Atlantis.
And I was falling and falling.
It seemed like
I was falling forever.
Then when I finally landed,
I didn't even know...
if I was dead or alive or what.
But then I got up,
so I realized I was alive...
and I was OK.
You may now interface.
It was really scary.
I mean, I didn't know
if I'd ever see people again.
But then I stumbled onto you
and those two other guys...
and then I saved your life.
Does that clear it up for you?
Yeah, sure.
You come from the surface
world place called L.A...
and you're here in Atlantis
looking for your dad.
Sister, you're crazy.
You think I'm lying?
I think you believe it.
I can't believe you'd think...
I'd actually make up
a story like that.
You live whatever dream
you want.
It's none of my business.
Boy.
OK, come on, baby.
Every time
you get a troll mechanic...
to work on your car,
you're asking for trouble.
OK, let's believe
you're an alien.
What then?
Come on! Come on, sweetheart,
come on! Just one time!
Come on, we got to bounce.
What's wrong? Are we just
going to leave the car here?
I don't want to hear it.
Stay if you like.
Well, how far is it
to Atlantis?
Nothing ever goes right for me.
Nothing ever works in my life.
I strike it rich...
and Loki and Mago
were trying to steal...
Is it a long way?
It's weird, but I guess...
there are things
like you and trolls...
Would you stop your jabbering?
No one in my world
believes in my dad.
You see, where I come from...
What is that over there?
What does it look like?
It looks like
an underground city.
Gosh.
Is it always this dark
and noisy here?
- I thought you were dead.
- Not hardly.
Look, I struck it rich, boys.
Get out of my way.
Come on, come on. I got
to get to the claims office...
to file my claim.
They're going to close.
Wow.
You are now
in Sector Eighty-five.
Govco...
your government corporation...
supplying you with rules
we think you need to know.
I got to call to make sure...
the place I got to file
my claim is still open.
- Wait here.
- OK. Wait.
What?
I don't even know your name.
Guten Edway.
- Wait.
- What?
I'm Wanda Saknussemm, Gus.
So what?
...met today with the press...
to put to rest rumors
of a captured alien.
Lord Over, speaking through
his representative spokesman...
denied all gossip.
In other news today...
many babies were suddenly born
in Zed Sector.
Remember, citizens...
any suspicious visitors
to Atlantis...
should be reported
to Government House.
Failure to incriminate
is punishable by death.
Thank you for your assistance.
Aliens!
They're here! They're here!
Who was that?
Big trouble.
She reminds me
of a wicked witch.
Extra, extra. Alien captured.
Government denies the truth.
Alien? What alien?
No one believes
what's printed in that paper.
They're filled up with stories
about aliens every day.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Like little green martians
from outer space just landed.
- Aliens from where?
- Outer space.
- What's that?
- Oh, I forgot.
You don't know
what outer space is.
You've lived underground
all your life.
- What?
- That's sad, isn't it?
Sector ''Q''. Right up there.
I mean, not to have seen
blue skies...
the sun, the stars...
and Malibu Beach.
Lay off the surface world stuff.
Why does everyone wear
funny make-up and weird clothes?
Would you come on?
Malibu Beach?
A.J., pay attention here.
Welcome to Roryis' saloon.
Wow.
This place is really creepy.
So, your girlfriend
owns this place?
Well, look who's here.
How you doing, Roryis?
How do I look like I'm doing?
I struck it rich, Roryis.
That's why I'm back.
Yeah, like always.
This guy split
without paying his bill.
Left his clothes behind.
Looks to me like
you could use them.
We've talked to sources
that claim...
to have seen you
purchase the alien...
from a miner troll
named Boz Bodeen.
How can there be witnesses...
to something
that has never happened?
What have you done
with the troll...
named Boz Bodeen, counsel?
Has he been flushed?
I don't know any troll miner
named Boz Bodeen.
I do not associate myself
with trolls.
What are you covering up,
counsel?
We have our sources.
Then name them, Donaldson.
You're changing the subject,
counsel.
Look,
I'd like to assure everyone...
that contrary
to any rumors and gossip...
that may be circulating...
we have not captured
any alien beings...
from a purported surface world.
There is simply not a grain
of truth to the rumors...
and that is all
I'm prepared to say.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a dinner engagement.
Lying sack of crap.
Your approach has activated
the Govco 1000...
total facial and follicle
do-a-vator.
Please stick your face
into the mask provided...
and the unit will attempt
to improve your looks.
Please, step on pedal provided.
The Govco 1000
has done all it can.
- Thank you. Step aside, please.
- Hey, you look really nice.
I brought you something to wear.
It looked like you needed it.
Whoa. Bitchin'.
That's really nice of you.
I couldn't stand wearing
that dress another minute.
Your dress is strange.
I've never seen material
like this before.
What is it?
It's new.
Where are you from?
From out of town.
It's dangerous for strangers
in Atlantis these days.
People get kidnapped...
and no one
ever hears of them again.
You should be careful.
You're the type that would
attract a lot of attention.
I'll be careful.
Thanks, Roryis.
I'll be downstairs
if you need anything.
Oh, dad...
why would you want to come
to a place like this?
I got to find you
and get us out of here.
You are an alien spy...
sent down by your world to
prepare an invasion of Atlantis.
There are three absolutes,
professor.
I am the law here in Atlantis.
You will confess the truth
to me...
and our worlds will go to war.
- I beg you to believe me.
- You will confess, professor.
Look...
wait outside.
I need to yak to Roryis.
The other guy looked a lot
better in his own clothes.
I feel like a worm broker.
It's dangerous for strangers
in Atlantis these days.
People get kidnapped...
and no one
ever hears of them again.
Just a little snip off the top.
Hold still.
Sorry about running out
on our wedding...
but I heard that old miner
jawing about the ore he found...
and I lost my head.
Oh, forget it.
What's a year with no word?
- I know I hurt you.
- Oh, no, you don't.
Listen, I got to wait until
tomorrow to file my claim...
so I figure I'll help you
look for your dad.
Gee, thanks, Gus.
I'm only doing it
so's l can get rid of you.
You're a pain in the neck,
and you're cramping my style.
Come on.
Let's get something to eat.
You aliens eat, don't you?
Yeah. I'm starving.
- What about Roryis?
- Just swell.
You love her, don't you?
I got to figure out
a way to find your dad...
and get you home.
Sit down.
Bet you you've never been
to a place like this before.
I'll say.
Take your order now?
The house special.
What do you want?
Make it two.
Coming right down.
Any ideas
on how to find my dad?
Yeah, no. Not yet.
I don't think too well
on an empty stomach.
Gus,
things are really weird here.
Not like
the surface world, huh?
Great. The food's here.
Yuck! You're not going
to eat that, are you?
Hey, watch.
Delicious.
My dad's a professor, Gus...
and I bet he'd really like
to study you.
Think I know someone
who can help you out.
- You do?
- Yeah. Stay put.
- I got to use the phone.
- Oh, that's great, Gus.
Alien.
Dad?
I'd like the number for
Professor Ovid Galba, please.
I can take you to your dad.
- Come with me.
- I'm looking for my dad.
Well, do you have
a last known address?
Welcome to Membino's...
the boss of bosses.
Tonight, we have a lineup...
which is sure to satisfy
your lust.
Remember... anything goes...
and only one walks out.
Death is promised.
Bookies will circulate
throughout the fight...
for your betting pleasure.
On my left, Treasure.
Come on, kid!
On my right, Smasher.
Now let the fight begin.
- What is it, Shank?
- A girl.
I can see that.
I want to know why you have
brought her here to me...
to Membino,
to the boss of bosses.
I overheard her talking,
Membino.
She claims to be an...
Speak, Shank.
Who did the girl claim to be?
An alien.
There's no such thing.
OK. I'll take her bones
elsewhere.
I never said
I wasn't interested.
I could always use another
dark girl with big bones.
She'll cost you
five hundred shiny ones.
Pay her
four hundred shiny ones.
- Four hundred shiny ones?
- Don't push your luck, Shank.
- All clear.
- Yep.
I have got information to sell
about an alien wench.
And for 750 dollwans...
I'll tell you
where she's hiding, counsel.
General Rykov, please.
Hello, Crassus.
You want us
to arrest another alien?
I don't know.
I don't trust Shank.
I have to hide the girl
somewhere.
Maybe in my bed.
I'm Mambino...
boss of bosses.
I'm sending you
to the government.
Why?
Because they buy aliens.
Alien?
You think I'm an alien?
All right. Let's get ready
to move the mountains.
Hey, which way?
Around the corner.
I'm looking for a girl
with big bones.
That way.
Guten Edway.
I heard you were dead.
I'm looking for a girl
with big bones.
Where did I see her?
- Where's the girl?
- I saw them go through there.
Come on, place your bets.
Hey, watch it!
Sweetheart showin' some spunk.
Big confidence from an alien...
who walks like a troll,
dresses like a worm...
and has the voice
that gives everyone a headache.
I like her voice, Mambino.
Guten Edway.
Gus.
I thought you were dead.
Well, I'm back.
Get lost, Edway.
You never did
anything for anyone.
You're too selfish to be a hero.
Go on, move...
before I make you wish
you stayed dead, Guten.
Call me Gus!
Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!
Come on.
I was just sitting there
waiting for you...
when this woman
wearing too much make-up...
All right, all right.
There's no time.
Look, I think I know someone
who can help you out.
His name's Professor Galba...
and I think he can get you help,
but I got to find him first.
He's moved to a district
called The Pits.
What about my dad, Gus?
We can't leave without him.
What if I can only
get you home?
I won't go without my dad, Gus.
Wanda, sooner or later,
they're going to find you...
and if they find you,
they could kill you.
So, if we can get you out,
you got to go, understand?
Not without my dad, Gus.
How about we separated?
Meet at Roryis'.
I'll meet you at Roryis'!
Yeah! Come back here!
Come back here!
Sector 107.
Hurry. Come with me.
There she is! There she is!
Come back here! Where
do you think you're going?
Attention, attention.
There is a fugitive
in your area.
Do not move until
the police have cleared you...
and you must have IDs with you.
- That way. Come on.
- Where? Where?
Hey, stop!
I've got an idea.
If Shank fails us...
I think I know how to find
Wanda Saknussemm.
- Lotto.
- Lotto, General?
Attention, attention.
There is a fugitive
in your area.
Do not move until
the police have cleared you.
Have your slab ID...
Where?
Ring, watch, ring, watch, Veena.
Pie pistol and lots of
lotto money will be yours.
You will be rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
Isn't that right, Veena?
She's out there...
somewhere, anywhere.
She could be standing
right next to you.
It's you! I won, I won!
- Let me! No, she's mine!
- I saw her first!
- Here!
- She's mine!
Get away! She's mine!
It's easy to play lotto.
Just find the big-boned girl.
Capture her and bring her
to Government House...
to collect unimaginable...
There she is. Lotto prize.
Excuse me, madam.
May I help you?
Yeah, sure.
Perhaps madam would like to
look at some troll leisure wear.
Extra large, I think.
It's so simple.
What are you waiting for?
Capture the big-boned girl...
and you'll be rich
beyond possibility.
Play lotto and win money.
She's worth
millions and millions...
of shiny big trusty ones.
Oh, fun.
Yes, it is,
and here's how it works.
Have you seen this female?
- She's got big bones...
- How in bloody hell...
Find her...
and take her
to the Government House.
There you will receive
your prize.
I had a hell of a time
finding you, professor.
Why'd you move to The Pits?
Why did you risk
life and limb to find me?
Well, professor, I've done you
a ton of favors, right?
What about all those times
I gave you...
valuable junk for free
because you was tapped out?
Those favors were minute,
insignificant, and microscopic.
Aw, come on, professor.
Give us a break.
What about the time
I came and bailed you out...
when your worm wagon
got repossessed?
OK, Guten,
you were more than a friend.
Let's not get slushy here.
Anyway, the favor out.
What do you want?
You were kicked out
of the university...
for yapping about there being
a surface world, right?
Aliens and stuff.
Well, professor, how'd
you like to meet an alien?
Oh, splendid.
Of course, it's
the very latest from Lumaria.
And look, it almost fits.
But, of course, on you,
it looks absolutely smashing.
- Will there be anything else?
- No. Just this.
All right, well,
rusty dull ones or charge?
Attention, citizens!
Remember...
This is worth my walkman
and my dumb purse.
It works as a disguise.
Simply find the girl
with big bones.
Do whatever you want,
until you give her body...
to the Government House.
Dead or alive,
it doesn't matter.
We'll pay for her cold carcass.
Gotcha!
Hello, babe.
That was real cute
back there, sweetheart.
Go ahead. Scream all you want.
Brick Bardo can take it.
Let me hear it.
You ain't worth
nothing to nobody.
Speaking of worth nothing...
Crazy. You shouldn't have
wrinkled my suit, slick.
You're kind of big boned
for a troll, aren't you?
I'm not really a troll.
Yeah, right. Neither am I.
Who are you?
I'm Charmin', as in style,
good looks, and panache.
Hey, look...
I know you want me
to sweep you off your feet...
love you until I die, but
I ain't got the time right now.
I'm on my way to rob...
You know, borrow some funds...
and that gweeb back there
has made me late.
But I...
Look,
I know it's disappointing...
but there'll be
another time, another place.
Wait.
What?
I'm lost,
and some people are after me.
And could you please help me?
I know it's a lot to ask.
I told you. I'm busy.
Please? I'm really in trouble...
bad trouble.
I win lotto.
Hey, I was talking to her,
slick.
Me rich. Me rich.
OK, maybe I might help you.
It's only because I'm a sucker
for big-boned dolls in trouble.
Now tell me your problems...
and I'll decide
if I've got the time.
Well, mine started
when I was ten years old...
- Wait a second.
- What?
Is that really your voice?
Come on.
And then
he was about to kill me...
and then you showed up
to save my life, Charmin'.
Crazy.
That's an unbelievable story.
What, the part about me
being an alien...
from the surface world?
No. That you've
gone through all this...
for a guy like your father.
I mean, he seems like
a selfish pebble head...
who didn't care about
anybody except himself.
- I used to think so.
- Oh, and now you like him?
I think I understand him
a little.
Crazy. You know, it's still
a lot to go through...
for someone who may not
want to see you.
It's crazy.
You're a very unusual girl,
Wanda.
And I mean more than because
your voice is so strange.
The Govco lotto seems to be
catching on in a big way.
Come on, the saloon is this way.
Guess I showed him, huh?
Look, Wanda...
I don't know
if you're an alien or what...
but I do believe you're here
to find your father.
OK, for whatever reason,
the city's out to get you...
so you got to get out of here...
before it's too late
for even me to save you.
She's over there!
You get going.
I'll hold them off.
- But...
- It'll be easier with you gone.
I might have to do something
I don't want you to see.
Like what, Charmin'?
Never mind.
Roryis' saloon is nearby,
just up that alley.
Hide there,
and I'll meet you if I can.
Will I ever see you again?
You never know, Wanda.
Crazy.
Another time, another place.
Now go on. Get out of here.
Another time, another place.
Wait, wait.
I'm going to be sick.
Sector 100.
Once again,
here is the girl's image.
The girl answers to the name
Wanda Saknussemm...
and is wearing
a black bodeo outfit.
You can see
how easy she is to spot...
so find Wanda and win.
Govco...
your government corporation...
making you play lotto
because we know you want to.
There she is, General.
Citizens, General Rykov
and the police...
request all citizens
with slab ID clearance...
to leave Sector 100.
I should go inside.
Please leave the area at once.
Repeat... Sector 100
is to be cleared...
of all slab ID checked citizens.
Help!
How come these vehicles never
work when they're supposed to?
OK, Guten, where is the girl?
Sector 81.
Bloody hell.
She's been arrested.
Vindicate my life, Guten.
Prove that the surface world
really exists.
I got to figure out a way
to rescue Wanda first.
What do you have in mind, Gut?
Look, professor...
I know you've never done
this kind of thing before...
but are you up to it?
What do you want me to do?
I must have the aliens
for research, your lordship.
They're not specimens,
Dr. Madagasi.
They're humans,
and we do not, as a rule...
go around cutting up humans
in the name of research, do we?
I believe the aliens
are spies...
being sent down to report
on our capabilities, Lord Over.
We must mobilize for war.
We must launch
a massive retaliation.
You're overreacting, General.
They're here to enslave us,
make trolls out of us.
I must agree
with Counsel Crassus...
that the aliens are here
by accident.
What do you suggest we do,
Crassus?
Since the aliens arrived here
accidently, your lordship...
as you most shrewdly
observed...
I suggest we help them return
to the surface world.
Your panty-hose
are on too tight, Crassus.
I beg your pardon, Rykov?
Let the aliens free?
I, for one, do not want
to be reclassified as a troll.
We will release them
only if they agree...
not to reveal our existence
to their world...
and no one else is to come down.
We have no choice
but to trust them.
Trust aliens?
Your lordship, you cannot
possibly listen to Crassus.
You know he's got
those odd tendencies...
and we've all been discussing
the fact that he dyes his hair.
The General aside,
your lordship...
we are not murderers.
We cannot let them die here.
Bring me the aliens.
I'll first speak to Wanda.
Then decide whether
to free them or terminate.
Bloody hell.
Come on, come on.
Your lordship,
this is the Wanda.
Come here, child. Come closer.
So, you are the Wanda.
Yes.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm.
Why are you here?
Rykov has arrested
your daughter...
Professor Saknussemm,
and put her on trial.
What's going to happen to her?
Lord Over
is trying to decide...
whether to release you
and your daughter...
or to terminate your lives.
Well, how does it look?
No, no, no. I mean in there.
Oh.
Everything depends on Wanda.
I'm no explorer or adventurer...
and I'm not here
to hurt your world.
I just want to find my dad,
and that's why I'm here.
And for no other reason, sir.
Oh, please.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm...
a waitress from L.A.
who should've never come here.
And I just really want
to go home now.
They are going to make
brown-eyed trolls out of us.
Oh, shut up, Rykov.
Daddy?
Daddy!
- Wait!
- See?
Stop!
Wait! What are you doing?
No! He's my dad!
- So, you're Wanda's dad.
- Yes, I am.
Well, she's gone through
a lot of trouble to find you.
Stay put while
I reckon us a way out.
Why did you come
looking for me, Wanda?
Because you're my dad.
I...
- I'm sorry that...
- It doesn't matter now.
You're more than I deserve.
This way. We got to bounce.
What's the matter?
Did you forget something?
Do you have any idea
how remarkable this is?
What? It's a building.
No, it's not.
This is a spacecraft...
that crashed here 10 millennia
ago from outer space.
Outer space? Come on.
Is the tracking system working?
I know where
they're headed now, General.
I'll direct you from here
by remote.
Good work, Toner.
So, Crassus, I was right
about the aliens being spies.
Oh, just do your job, Rykov.
Kill the girl and her father.
I will...
and then I'll come back for you.
Unbelievable, Guten.
You've actually made it.
Who is he?
- My dad.
- Get in, Wanda!
General,
the aliens are approaching...
the outskirts of the city.
Statics at 58.
Intercept at 5.34.
Driver, head for
the outskirts of the city.
The General's vehicle has
turned for the outskirts, sir.
Follow the General.
Just don't lose her.
Professor Saknussemm,
I have to disagree with you.
According to my data...
the incline of the surface
world has changed slightly...
making the eastern regions...
the mouth
of the center of the world.
I don't doubt your knowledge,
professor...
but I've spent my life...
studying and searching
for the center of the earth...
and I obviously did find it,
and it wasn't in this direction.
Well, let me put it to you
this way.
I have
all the equipment you need...
for your ascent
into the surface of the world.
It's either my way or no way.
Dad...
do you think Professor Galba
can get us back home?
We'll see, honey.
It's straight on ahead, Guten,
and don't scratch my worm wagon.
Oh, sweetheart.
End of the journey, eh?
You're going home.
You should come visit us.
A vacation.
It's pretty impressive,
isn't it?
- It's magnificent, professor.
- Thank you.
According to my calculations...
my rock climber
would've blasted me...
right up to the surface.
My God, why didn't you go?
Ah, Rykov learned of my work,
and he shut me down.
I was ruined and tossed
out of the university.
I was thrown out
of the university, too...
but I wouldn't let that stop me.
Yes, yes. Some of us
give up our dreams...
more easily than others,
professor.
There's a difference,
professor...
between giving up and
leaving something unfinished.
You know, I never finished
anything in my life.
It's about time I did.
I want to go back to Roryis'.
If she'll take me.
She'll make you richer
than any mine, Gus.
Thanks for everything, Gus.
- It's time to go.
- No one's going anywhere.
You blew the deal
when you tried to escape.
Now we have orders
to execute you.
I thought you wanted us
to leave.
I'm sorry, professor.
You saw nothing.
Take the General away.
Whoa.
Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.
You better move out quickly,
professor.
I think she's going
to be a little upset...
when she wakes up.
Won't you get into trouble
for this?
It's a small price to pay.
Now move quickly.
Hold on tight to one another.
I love you, honey.
Remember our deal, professor!
Not a word to anyone!
We don't exist!
Bye, Wanda. We'll miss you.
You OK?
Well, Auntie Pearl...
I had this really weird dream...
that I went to Africa...
and fell down a bottomless pit
to the center of the earth.
Then I ended up in this city
called Atlantis.
I found dad, and...
Pretty weird, huh?
Hi, honey.
How are you, baby?
Oh, daddy, it wasn't a dream.
A dream come true, honey.
I love you.
Hey, Stacy, wait up.
- Hey, Robbie.
- How you doing?
Look, is it true about Wanda?
I heard she went to Africa...
actually took a plane
and everything.
Yeah, she actually
took a plane and everything.
Ahh, I can't believe it.
Nobody in Vista Verde
can believe it...
including me, including Susan.
Susan, Stacy.
- Why not?
- It's just not like her.
Are you sure this isn't
some scam to get me back?
Why don't you ask her yourself?
How about I pick you up tonight
and take you out...
and you can tell me
all about Africa?
But, Robbie, I still have
the same hair, the same voice.
Aw, it doesn't matter.
You've changed.
Yeah, I have.
Mmm. What happened to her
in Africa?
She grew up.
Excuse me. I was wondering
if you could help me out.
I'm a stranger around here...
from another time,
another place.
Crazy.
And in late news, there's been
unconfirmed reports...
of an alien escape
to the surface of the world.
What?
Lord Over
has issued a statement...
which reminds
citizens of Atlantis...
that there is no such thing
as a surface world...
and rumors of the actual
existence of aliens...
are wrong, misleading...
and counterproductive
to the future...
of our great city-state.
Anyone who thinks
they may have had contact...
with an alien,
female or older male...
should report immediately
to General Rykov...
at Government House.
There is a reward.
And finally, the statement
stresses once and for all...
aliens do not exist...
the surface world
does not exist...
and Wanda Saknussemm...
is a mere figment
of your imagination.
the creep broke up with you...
over your answering machine.
I just want to know why
he broke up.
He doesn't like you.
Thanks, Daisy.
You should've gone blonder.
He's here.
- You got my message, right?
- Yeah, I did, Robbie.
I just wanted to...
Wanted to, what,
harass me about breaking up?
No. I just want to know why.
What did I do wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong,
Wanda.
I thought you really liked me.
You said I was special...
so naturally,
I want to know why.
Wanda,
you never want to go anywhere.
I do so.
I know...
two blocks, to the beach.
You didn't want to go
on the camping trip...
to the Grand Canyon
or rock climbing in Yosemite...
or to the Fourth of July party
in Ensenada.
I get car sick.
I told you I'd fly you there.
I'm scared of flying.
You know that.
You're scared of everything.
What else is wrong with me?
Look, what's the point?
You obviously have
a serious problem...
and we've wasted
the whole summer because of it.
There's only two weeks
left in August...
and I want to salvage
something, all right?
Robbie, please.
Let's talk about it.
I can change. I want to change.
Just tell me
what you don't like about me.
You won't change, Wanda.
Please, Robbie.
Give me a chance.
What don't you like about me,
and I'll change.
All right, your glasses
make you look stupid.
Your hair's ugly.
You dress like a nerd.
You walk like a clod.
Your voice gives me a headache.
Is that enough?
How come you never told me this
before, huh?
Why'd you even go out with me
in the first place...
if I'm such a geek?
Look, Wanda, I'm really sorry
I hurt you. I didn't mean to.
But you are who you are. We're
just not right for each other.
Good-bye.
Yeah, sure. OK.
Whoa. Way to go.
All this rejection
is really getting to me.
I mean, it seems ever since
I was a kid I've been rejected.
Hey, you.
Even my own dad. He left me.
He's an explorer, Wanda.
It's his job to travel
and not be home.
- For ten years?
- Well, so, he's been real busy.
And what about my mom?
She's left.
She got hit by a car and died,
Wanda. She didn't have a choice.
Sorry.
Oh, you're right.
She didn't have a choice.
But my dad did.
Where's Wanda?
No one wants me... for anything.
I want you. I want you to get
your butt out of this car...
and come give me a hand.
I'm dying here.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm...
and I'm not going to be afraid
to change my life.
This time, I'm going to do it.
This time, I'm...
Please, God.
You make something happen
in my life...
anything at all, really.
Anything.
Wanda Saknussemm?
I can't believe it. I'll bet
it's from my brother-in-law.
You're Wanda Saknussemm?
Behind the counter, and tell
her to get her butt out here.
I need those four shakes.
- I ordered a cheeseburger.
- I ordered a cheeseburger, too.
Three burgers.
Oh, excuse me.
Wanda Saknussemm?
Yeah. I'm Wanda Saknussemm.
Special delivery from Africa.
Would you like
to sign here, please?
There we go.
Right.
That's great. Thanks very much.
Right.
Oh, my God.
What's the matter?
My father's dead.
It says he fell down
a bottomless pit.
I'm sorry, Wanda.
Who wrote you?
A man named Paddy Mahoney.
He says he was dad's friend
and business partner.
He owns a bar somewhere
in Zamboanga, North Africa.
Mr. Mahoney
wants me to come see him.
He even sent a plane ticket.
Why?
I guess dad's made a will
he wants me to deal with.
You're not going to go,
are you, honey?
But I should probably go,
Auntie Pearl.
I mean, Mr. Mahoney
thinks it's important enough...
to send me a plane ticket...
and I would like to see
where dad lived.
I've always been curious
about his life.
Honey, going to Zamboanga
ain't like going to the beach.
It's a long journey, and you
never know what might happen.
I've been looking for
something to change my life.
Maybe this is it.
I know I said anything, but
isn't this a little extreme?
Wanda,
you never want to go anywhere.
Wish me luck.
I get car sick.
I told you I'd fly you there.
I'm scared of flying.
You know that.
You're scared of everything.
I can change. I want to change.
You won't change, Wanda.
I'll show you, Robbie.
Your father was a great man...
a pioneer.
His colleagues
thought he was crazy.
They laughed at him.
He dedicated
the rest of his life...
to proving them wrong
and regaining his self-respect.
So, all this time
he's been searching...
for the center of the earth.
Yes. His excavation
is down in the basement.
Cool.
I'm surprised to see this.
Your father
cared a lot about you.
Well, he sure showed it
in a weird way.
He was a strange man.
You look like
you could do with some rest.
Boy, it's a long trip to Africa.
But I'm glad you invited me,
Mr. Mahoney.
It's probably the only chance
I'll have to get to know him.
He left so long ago.
Did you try to find my dad?
I tried. We keep the pit lit.
I go down there every day
to look for him...
but it all seems so unlikely.
I would've given anything
to see him again.
Sweet dreams, Wanda.
''Man's ultimate ancestors...
''were aliens
known as Atlanteans.
''Don't laugh.
''They arrived on earth
with the idea of colonizing.
''The Atlanteans
giant spaceship...
''served as their floating city.
''It sank into the bowels
of the earth...
''during
the volcanic catastrophe...
''destroying the spaceship...
''but perhaps not
the Atlantean people.
''They might still live...
''at the center of the earth.''
Wow.
Too heavy, dad.
Mom.
Dad?
Dad?
Wow.
Oh, God!
Mr. Mahoney!
Help!
Help!
I have a feeling
I'm not in Kansas.
My glasses.
We'll never lose them again,
will we?
Never let them escape again.
Right, right, Loki?
How'd you claim jumpers
ever find this mine?
You'll never be
out of our eyes again.
No. No eyes. No, no, no.
No. Never.
It won't be easy
trying to steal my claim.
Because you're going
to have to plug me first.
Looks easy to me.
One yank of the trigger,
and you die.
I got to do something.
You can tell us
where the vein is.
Tell us where the main vein is!
Tell us!
You OK?
Yeah, I'm OK. Are you OK?
Are you going to hurt them?
Why not?
Because it's not right...
or nice.
They'll kill me if I don't.
Be a nice guy, mister.
I better not regret this.
What's that?
What it looks like...
a troll mule.
He killed him?
No. It's hibernating.
Come on, Loki.
- Come on.
- Where are we?
Atlantis. Where else?
Atlantis.
It's possible...
isn't it?
Where did you think we were?
You really live underground,
don't you?
Don't you?
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
I'm looking for my dad.
And I guess he's in Atlantis...
and I don't know where to start.
Well, this is
the Atlantis wasteland.
The city Atlantis...
is a day's ride.
You're not going to leave me
here with these guys.
Look, I got to bounce
to the city to file my claim...
before somebody else
tries to steal it.
Thanks a lot for helping me out,
but see you later.
Hey, wait a minute.
You owe me, don't you?
I mean, I could've let them
kill you, but I didn't, did I?
No. I saved your life.
I think you should at least
take me to Atlantis.
I mean, that's not
asking a lot, after all...
is it?
Well, get in.
Gee, I'm sorry, mister.
Come on. Get in.
I'm telling you,
something's wrong with you.
Wait a second.
Get in on that side.
Here.
Better put these on.
It gets kind of muddy out here.
All right. Come on, sweetheart.
Please turn over.
My glasses.
Where are you from, anyway?
It's a long story.
Well, it's a long drive
to Atlantis.
And I was falling and falling.
It seemed like
I was falling forever.
Then when I finally landed,
I didn't even know...
if I was dead or alive or what.
But then I got up,
so I realized I was alive...
and I was OK.
You may now interface.
It was really scary.
I mean, I didn't know
if I'd ever see people again.
But then I stumbled onto you
and those two other guys...
and then I saved your life.
Does that clear it up for you?
Yeah, sure.
You come from the surface
world place called L.A...
and you're here in Atlantis
looking for your dad.
Sister, you're crazy.
You think I'm lying?
I think you believe it.
I can't believe you'd think...
I'd actually make up
a story like that.
You live whatever dream
you want.
It's none of my business.
Boy.
OK, come on, baby.
Every time
you get a troll mechanic...
to work on your car,
you're asking for trouble.
OK, let's believe
you're an alien.
What then?
Come on! Come on, sweetheart,
come on! Just one time!
Come on, we got to bounce.
What's wrong? Are we just
going to leave the car here?
I don't want to hear it.
Stay if you like.
Well, how far is it
to Atlantis?
Nothing ever goes right for me.
Nothing ever works in my life.
I strike it rich...
and Loki and Mago
were trying to steal...
Is it a long way?
It's weird, but I guess...
there are things
like you and trolls...
Would you stop your jabbering?
No one in my world
believes in my dad.
You see, where I come from...
What is that over there?
What does it look like?
It looks like
an underground city.
Gosh.
Is it always this dark
and noisy here?
- I thought you were dead.
- Not hardly.
Look, I struck it rich, boys.
Get out of my way.
Come on, come on. I got
to get to the claims office...
to file my claim.
They're going to close.
Wow.
You are now
in Sector Eighty-five.
Govco...
your government corporation...
supplying you with rules
we think you need to know.
I got to call to make sure...
the place I got to file
my claim is still open.
- Wait here.
- OK. Wait.
What?
I don't even know your name.
Guten Edway.
- Wait.
- What?
I'm Wanda Saknussemm, Gus.
So what?
...met today with the press...
to put to rest rumors
of a captured alien.
Lord Over, speaking through
his representative spokesman...
denied all gossip.
In other news today...
many babies were suddenly born
in Zed Sector.
Remember, citizens...
any suspicious visitors
to Atlantis...
should be reported
to Government House.
Failure to incriminate
is punishable by death.
Thank you for your assistance.
Aliens!
They're here! They're here!
Who was that?
Big trouble.
She reminds me
of a wicked witch.
Extra, extra. Alien captured.
Government denies the truth.
Alien? What alien?
No one believes
what's printed in that paper.
They're filled up with stories
about aliens every day.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Like little green martians
from outer space just landed.
- Aliens from where?
- Outer space.
- What's that?
- Oh, I forgot.
You don't know
what outer space is.
You've lived underground
all your life.
- What?
- That's sad, isn't it?
Sector ''Q''. Right up there.
I mean, not to have seen
blue skies...
the sun, the stars...
and Malibu Beach.
Lay off the surface world stuff.
Why does everyone wear
funny make-up and weird clothes?
Would you come on?
Malibu Beach?
A.J., pay attention here.
Welcome to Roryis' saloon.
Wow.
This place is really creepy.
So, your girlfriend
owns this place?
Well, look who's here.
How you doing, Roryis?
How do I look like I'm doing?
I struck it rich, Roryis.
That's why I'm back.
Yeah, like always.
This guy split
without paying his bill.
Left his clothes behind.
Looks to me like
you could use them.
We've talked to sources
that claim...
to have seen you
purchase the alien...
from a miner troll
named Boz Bodeen.
How can there be witnesses...
to something
that has never happened?
What have you done
with the troll...
named Boz Bodeen, counsel?
Has he been flushed?
I don't know any troll miner
named Boz Bodeen.
I do not associate myself
with trolls.
What are you covering up,
counsel?
We have our sources.
Then name them, Donaldson.
You're changing the subject,
counsel.
Look,
I'd like to assure everyone...
that contrary
to any rumors and gossip...
that may be circulating...
we have not captured
any alien beings...
from a purported surface world.
There is simply not a grain
of truth to the rumors...
and that is all
I'm prepared to say.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a dinner engagement.
Lying sack of crap.
Your approach has activated
the Govco 1000...
total facial and follicle
do-a-vator.
Please stick your face
into the mask provided...
and the unit will attempt
to improve your looks.
Please, step on pedal provided.
The Govco 1000
has done all it can.
- Thank you. Step aside, please.
- Hey, you look really nice.
I brought you something to wear.
It looked like you needed it.
Whoa. Bitchin'.
That's really nice of you.
I couldn't stand wearing
that dress another minute.
Your dress is strange.
I've never seen material
like this before.
What is it?
It's new.
Where are you from?
From out of town.
It's dangerous for strangers
in Atlantis these days.
People get kidnapped...
and no one
ever hears of them again.
You should be careful.
You're the type that would
attract a lot of attention.
I'll be careful.
Thanks, Roryis.
I'll be downstairs
if you need anything.
Oh, dad...
why would you want to come
to a place like this?
I got to find you
and get us out of here.
You are an alien spy...
sent down by your world to
prepare an invasion of Atlantis.
There are three absolutes,
professor.
I am the law here in Atlantis.
You will confess the truth
to me...
and our worlds will go to war.
- I beg you to believe me.
- You will confess, professor.
Look...
wait outside.
I need to yak to Roryis.
The other guy looked a lot
better in his own clothes.
I feel like a worm broker.
It's dangerous for strangers
in Atlantis these days.
People get kidnapped...
and no one
ever hears of them again.
Just a little snip off the top.
Hold still.
Sorry about running out
on our wedding...
but I heard that old miner
jawing about the ore he found...
and I lost my head.
Oh, forget it.
What's a year with no word?
- I know I hurt you.
- Oh, no, you don't.
Listen, I got to wait until
tomorrow to file my claim...
so I figure I'll help you
look for your dad.
Gee, thanks, Gus.
I'm only doing it
so's l can get rid of you.
You're a pain in the neck,
and you're cramping my style.
Come on.
Let's get something to eat.
You aliens eat, don't you?
Yeah. I'm starving.
- What about Roryis?
- Just swell.
You love her, don't you?
I got to figure out
a way to find your dad...
and get you home.
Sit down.
Bet you you've never been
to a place like this before.
I'll say.
Take your order now?
The house special.
What do you want?
Make it two.
Coming right down.
Any ideas
on how to find my dad?
Yeah, no. Not yet.
I don't think too well
on an empty stomach.
Gus,
things are really weird here.
Not like
the surface world, huh?
Great. The food's here.
Yuck! You're not going
to eat that, are you?
Hey, watch.
Delicious.
My dad's a professor, Gus...
and I bet he'd really like
to study you.
Think I know someone
who can help you out.
- You do?
- Yeah. Stay put.
- I got to use the phone.
- Oh, that's great, Gus.
Alien.
Dad?
I'd like the number for
Professor Ovid Galba, please.
I can take you to your dad.
- Come with me.
- I'm looking for my dad.
Well, do you have
a last known address?
Welcome to Membino's...
the boss of bosses.
Tonight, we have a lineup...
which is sure to satisfy
your lust.
Remember... anything goes...
and only one walks out.
Death is promised.
Bookies will circulate
throughout the fight...
for your betting pleasure.
On my left, Treasure.
Come on, kid!
On my right, Smasher.
Now let the fight begin.
- What is it, Shank?
- A girl.
I can see that.
I want to know why you have
brought her here to me...
to Membino,
to the boss of bosses.
I overheard her talking,
Membino.
She claims to be an...
Speak, Shank.
Who did the girl claim to be?
An alien.
There's no such thing.
OK. I'll take her bones
elsewhere.
I never said
I wasn't interested.
I could always use another
dark girl with big bones.
She'll cost you
five hundred shiny ones.
Pay her
four hundred shiny ones.
- Four hundred shiny ones?
- Don't push your luck, Shank.
- All clear.
- Yep.
I have got information to sell
about an alien wench.
And for 750 dollwans...
I'll tell you
where she's hiding, counsel.
General Rykov, please.
Hello, Crassus.
You want us
to arrest another alien?
I don't know.
I don't trust Shank.
I have to hide the girl
somewhere.
Maybe in my bed.
I'm Mambino...
boss of bosses.
I'm sending you
to the government.
Why?
Because they buy aliens.
Alien?
You think I'm an alien?
All right. Let's get ready
to move the mountains.
Hey, which way?
Around the corner.
I'm looking for a girl
with big bones.
That way.
Guten Edway.
I heard you were dead.
I'm looking for a girl
with big bones.
Where did I see her?
- Where's the girl?
- I saw them go through there.
Come on, place your bets.
Hey, watch it!
Sweetheart showin' some spunk.
Big confidence from an alien...
who walks like a troll,
dresses like a worm...
and has the voice
that gives everyone a headache.
I like her voice, Mambino.
Guten Edway.
Gus.
I thought you were dead.
Well, I'm back.
Get lost, Edway.
You never did
anything for anyone.
You're too selfish to be a hero.
Go on, move...
before I make you wish
you stayed dead, Guten.
Call me Gus!
Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!
Come on.
I was just sitting there
waiting for you...
when this woman
wearing too much make-up...
All right, all right.
There's no time.
Look, I think I know someone
who can help you out.
His name's Professor Galba...
and I think he can get you help,
but I got to find him first.
He's moved to a district
called The Pits.
What about my dad, Gus?
We can't leave without him.
What if I can only
get you home?
I won't go without my dad, Gus.
Wanda, sooner or later,
they're going to find you...
and if they find you,
they could kill you.
So, if we can get you out,
you got to go, understand?
Not without my dad, Gus.
How about we separated?
Meet at Roryis'.
I'll meet you at Roryis'!
Yeah! Come back here!
Come back here!
Sector 107.
Hurry. Come with me.
There she is! There she is!
Come back here! Where
do you think you're going?
Attention, attention.
There is a fugitive
in your area.
Do not move until
the police have cleared you...
and you must have IDs with you.
- That way. Come on.
- Where? Where?
Hey, stop!
I've got an idea.
If Shank fails us...
I think I know how to find
Wanda Saknussemm.
- Lotto.
- Lotto, General?
Attention, attention.
There is a fugitive
in your area.
Do not move until
the police have cleared you.
Have your slab ID...
Where?
Ring, watch, ring, watch, Veena.
Pie pistol and lots of
lotto money will be yours.
You will be rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
Isn't that right, Veena?
She's out there...
somewhere, anywhere.
She could be standing
right next to you.
It's you! I won, I won!
- Let me! No, she's mine!
- I saw her first!
- Here!
- She's mine!
Get away! She's mine!
It's easy to play lotto.
Just find the big-boned girl.
Capture her and bring her
to Government House...
to collect unimaginable...
There she is. Lotto prize.
Excuse me, madam.
May I help you?
Yeah, sure.
Perhaps madam would like to
look at some troll leisure wear.
Extra large, I think.
It's so simple.
What are you waiting for?
Capture the big-boned girl...
and you'll be rich
beyond possibility.
Play lotto and win money.
She's worth
millions and millions...
of shiny big trusty ones.
Oh, fun.
Yes, it is,
and here's how it works.
Have you seen this female?
- She's got big bones...
- How in bloody hell...
Find her...
and take her
to the Government House.
There you will receive
your prize.
I had a hell of a time
finding you, professor.
Why'd you move to The Pits?
Why did you risk
life and limb to find me?
Well, professor, I've done you
a ton of favors, right?
What about all those times
I gave you...
valuable junk for free
because you was tapped out?
Those favors were minute,
insignificant, and microscopic.
Aw, come on, professor.
Give us a break.
What about the time
I came and bailed you out...
when your worm wagon
got repossessed?
OK, Guten,
you were more than a friend.
Let's not get slushy here.
Anyway, the favor out.
What do you want?
You were kicked out
of the university...
for yapping about there being
a surface world, right?
Aliens and stuff.
Well, professor, how'd
you like to meet an alien?
Oh, splendid.
Of course, it's
the very latest from Lumaria.
And look, it almost fits.
But, of course, on you,
it looks absolutely smashing.
- Will there be anything else?
- No. Just this.
All right, well,
rusty dull ones or charge?
Attention, citizens!
Remember...
This is worth my walkman
and my dumb purse.
It works as a disguise.
Simply find the girl
with big bones.
Do whatever you want,
until you give her body...
to the Government House.
Dead or alive,
it doesn't matter.
We'll pay for her cold carcass.
Gotcha!
Hello, babe.
That was real cute
back there, sweetheart.
Go ahead. Scream all you want.
Brick Bardo can take it.
Let me hear it.
You ain't worth
nothing to nobody.
Speaking of worth nothing...
Crazy. You shouldn't have
wrinkled my suit, slick.
You're kind of big boned
for a troll, aren't you?
I'm not really a troll.
Yeah, right. Neither am I.
Who are you?
I'm Charmin', as in style,
good looks, and panache.
Hey, look...
I know you want me
to sweep you off your feet...
love you until I die, but
I ain't got the time right now.
I'm on my way to rob...
You know, borrow some funds...
and that gweeb back there
has made me late.
But I...
Look,
I know it's disappointing...
but there'll be
another time, another place.
Wait.
What?
I'm lost,
and some people are after me.
And could you please help me?
I know it's a lot to ask.
I told you. I'm busy.
Please? I'm really in trouble...
bad trouble.
I win lotto.
Hey, I was talking to her,
slick.
Me rich. Me rich.
OK, maybe I might help you.
It's only because I'm a sucker
for big-boned dolls in trouble.
Now tell me your problems...
and I'll decide
if I've got the time.
Well, mine started
when I was ten years old...
- Wait a second.
- What?
Is that really your voice?
Come on.
And then
he was about to kill me...
and then you showed up
to save my life, Charmin'.
Crazy.
That's an unbelievable story.
What, the part about me
being an alien...
from the surface world?
No. That you've
gone through all this...
for a guy like your father.
I mean, he seems like
a selfish pebble head...
who didn't care about
anybody except himself.
- I used to think so.
- Oh, and now you like him?
I think I understand him
a little.
Crazy. You know, it's still
a lot to go through...
for someone who may not
want to see you.
It's crazy.
You're a very unusual girl,
Wanda.
And I mean more than because
your voice is so strange.
The Govco lotto seems to be
catching on in a big way.
Come on, the saloon is this way.
Guess I showed him, huh?
Look, Wanda...
I don't know
if you're an alien or what...
but I do believe you're here
to find your father.
OK, for whatever reason,
the city's out to get you...
so you got to get out of here...
before it's too late
for even me to save you.
She's over there!
You get going.
I'll hold them off.
- But...
- It'll be easier with you gone.
I might have to do something
I don't want you to see.
Like what, Charmin'?
Never mind.
Roryis' saloon is nearby,
just up that alley.
Hide there,
and I'll meet you if I can.
Will I ever see you again?
You never know, Wanda.
Crazy.
Another time, another place.
Now go on. Get out of here.
Another time, another place.
Wait, wait.
I'm going to be sick.
Sector 100.
Once again,
here is the girl's image.
The girl answers to the name
Wanda Saknussemm...
and is wearing
a black bodeo outfit.
You can see
how easy she is to spot...
so find Wanda and win.
Govco...
your government corporation...
making you play lotto
because we know you want to.
There she is, General.
Citizens, General Rykov
and the police...
request all citizens
with slab ID clearance...
to leave Sector 100.
I should go inside.
Please leave the area at once.
Repeat... Sector 100
is to be cleared...
of all slab ID checked citizens.
Help!
How come these vehicles never
work when they're supposed to?
OK, Guten, where is the girl?
Sector 81.
Bloody hell.
She's been arrested.
Vindicate my life, Guten.
Prove that the surface world
really exists.
I got to figure out a way
to rescue Wanda first.
What do you have in mind, Gut?
Look, professor...
I know you've never done
this kind of thing before...
but are you up to it?
What do you want me to do?
I must have the aliens
for research, your lordship.
They're not specimens,
Dr. Madagasi.
They're humans,
and we do not, as a rule...
go around cutting up humans
in the name of research, do we?
I believe the aliens
are spies...
being sent down to report
on our capabilities, Lord Over.
We must mobilize for war.
We must launch
a massive retaliation.
You're overreacting, General.
They're here to enslave us,
make trolls out of us.
I must agree
with Counsel Crassus...
that the aliens are here
by accident.
What do you suggest we do,
Crassus?
Since the aliens arrived here
accidently, your lordship...
as you most shrewdly
observed...
I suggest we help them return
to the surface world.
Your panty-hose
are on too tight, Crassus.
I beg your pardon, Rykov?
Let the aliens free?
I, for one, do not want
to be reclassified as a troll.
We will release them
only if they agree...
not to reveal our existence
to their world...
and no one else is to come down.
We have no choice
but to trust them.
Trust aliens?
Your lordship, you cannot
possibly listen to Crassus.
You know he's got
those odd tendencies...
and we've all been discussing
the fact that he dyes his hair.
The General aside,
your lordship...
we are not murderers.
We cannot let them die here.
Bring me the aliens.
I'll first speak to Wanda.
Then decide whether
to free them or terminate.
Bloody hell.
Come on, come on.
Your lordship,
this is the Wanda.
Come here, child. Come closer.
So, you are the Wanda.
Yes.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm.
Why are you here?
Rykov has arrested
your daughter...
Professor Saknussemm,
and put her on trial.
What's going to happen to her?
Lord Over
is trying to decide...
whether to release you
and your daughter...
or to terminate your lives.
Well, how does it look?
No, no, no. I mean in there.
Oh.
Everything depends on Wanda.
I'm no explorer or adventurer...
and I'm not here
to hurt your world.
I just want to find my dad,
and that's why I'm here.
And for no other reason, sir.
Oh, please.
I'm Wanda Saknussemm...
a waitress from L.A.
who should've never come here.
And I just really want
to go home now.
They are going to make
brown-eyed trolls out of us.
Oh, shut up, Rykov.
Daddy?
Daddy!
- Wait!
- See?
Stop!
Wait! What are you doing?
No! He's my dad!
- So, you're Wanda's dad.
- Yes, I am.
Well, she's gone through
a lot of trouble to find you.
Stay put while
I reckon us a way out.
Why did you come
looking for me, Wanda?
Because you're my dad.
I...
- I'm sorry that...
- It doesn't matter now.
You're more than I deserve.
This way. We got to bounce.
What's the matter?
Did you forget something?
Do you have any idea
how remarkable this is?
What? It's a building.
No, it's not.
This is a spacecraft...
that crashed here 10 millennia
ago from outer space.
Outer space? Come on.
Is the tracking system working?
I know where
they're headed now, General.
I'll direct you from here
by remote.
Good work, Toner.
So, Crassus, I was right
about the aliens being spies.
Oh, just do your job, Rykov.
Kill the girl and her father.
I will...
and then I'll come back for you.
Unbelievable, Guten.
You've actually made it.
Who is he?
- My dad.
- Get in, Wanda!
General,
the aliens are approaching...
the outskirts of the city.
Statics at 58.
Intercept at 5.34.
Driver, head for
the outskirts of the city.
The General's vehicle has
turned for the outskirts, sir.
Follow the General.
Just don't lose her.
Professor Saknussemm,
I have to disagree with you.
According to my data...
the incline of the surface
world has changed slightly...
making the eastern regions...
the mouth
of the center of the world.
I don't doubt your knowledge,
professor...
but I've spent my life...
studying and searching
for the center of the earth...
and I obviously did find it,
and it wasn't in this direction.
Well, let me put it to you
this way.
I have
all the equipment you need...
for your ascent
into the surface of the world.
It's either my way or no way.
Dad...
do you think Professor Galba
can get us back home?
We'll see, honey.
It's straight on ahead, Guten,
and don't scratch my worm wagon.
Oh, sweetheart.
End of the journey, eh?
You're going home.
You should come visit us.
A vacation.
It's pretty impressive,
isn't it?
- It's magnificent, professor.
- Thank you.
According to my calculations...
my rock climber
would've blasted me...
right up to the surface.
My God, why didn't you go?
Ah, Rykov learned of my work,
and he shut me down.
I was ruined and tossed
out of the university.
I was thrown out
of the university, too...
but I wouldn't let that stop me.
Yes, yes. Some of us
give up our dreams...
more easily than others,
professor.
There's a difference,
professor...
between giving up and
leaving something unfinished.
You know, I never finished
anything in my life.
It's about time I did.
I want to go back to Roryis'.
If she'll take me.
She'll make you richer
than any mine, Gus.
Thanks for everything, Gus.
- It's time to go.
- No one's going anywhere.
You blew the deal
when you tried to escape.
Now we have orders
to execute you.
I thought you wanted us
to leave.
I'm sorry, professor.
You saw nothing.
Take the General away.
Whoa.
Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.
You better move out quickly,
professor.
I think she's going
to be a little upset...
when she wakes up.
Won't you get into trouble
for this?
It's a small price to pay.
Now move quickly.
Hold on tight to one another.
I love you, honey.
Remember our deal, professor!
Not a word to anyone!
We don't exist!
Bye, Wanda. We'll miss you.
You OK?
Well, Auntie Pearl...
I had this really weird dream...
that I went to Africa...
and fell down a bottomless pit
to the center of the earth.
Then I ended up in this city
called Atlantis.
I found dad, and...
Pretty weird, huh?
Hi, honey.
How are you, baby?
Oh, daddy, it wasn't a dream.
A dream come true, honey.
I love you.
Hey, Stacy, wait up.
- Hey, Robbie.
- How you doing?
Look, is it true about Wanda?
I heard she went to Africa...
actually took a plane
and everything.
Yeah, she actually
took a plane and everything.
Ahh, I can't believe it.
Nobody in Vista Verde
can believe it...
including me, including Susan.
Susan, Stacy.
- Why not?
- It's just not like her.
Are you sure this isn't
some scam to get me back?
Why don't you ask her yourself?
How about I pick you up tonight
and take you out...
and you can tell me
all about Africa?
But, Robbie, I still have
the same hair, the same voice.
Aw, it doesn't matter.
You've changed.
Yeah, I have.
Mmm. What happened to her
in Africa?
She grew up.
Excuse me. I was wondering
if you could help me out.
I'm a stranger around here...
from another time,
another place.
Crazy.
And in late news, there's been
unconfirmed reports...
of an alien escape
to the surface of the world.
What?
Lord Over
has issued a statement...
which reminds
citizens of Atlantis...
that there is no such thing
as a surface world...
and rumors of the actual
existence of aliens...
are wrong, misleading...
and counterproductive
to the future...
of our great city-state.
Anyone who thinks
they may have had contact...
with an alien,
female or older male...
should report immediately
to General Rykov...
at Government House.
There is a reward.
And finally, the statement
stresses once and for all...
aliens do not exist...
the surface world
does not exist...
and Wanda Saknussemm...
is a mere figment
of your imagination.