All American Bikini Car Wash (2015) Movie Script
I've learned that running
a business ain't easy.
And if anyone tells you
otherwise,
they're just lying to ya.
And running a bikini car wash?
Now, as glamorous as that
might sound...
Okay, I'll admit, it's pretty
glamorous.
But, it wasn't always like this.
Baby focus, I'm so close.
Are you?
Yeah.
Jack! Don't text and fuck!
But it's okay. It's okay.
It's alright, keep going!
Yeah, just like that.
That's right.
You're cute... like a
little monkey
It feels so amazing...
Are you texting?
No!
What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong?
I thought you were close...
Yeah, I was, okay? Was!
That's past tense.
I can't have sex with you
while you're texting.
I can multi-task.
Yeah, come on. It's okay.
I'm still hard.
I can get that back.
I can get it back.
I like you, you're a fun guy,
you're super nice, but yeah,
something makes me think
you're not that into me.
No, no, no, no. I'm totally
into you.
What's my major?
Well...
Botany!
I mean, art history!
That's right...
Journalism.
One-night stands are
fun and all, but
a guy one-night standing has
to be able to focus on me.
Otherwise I could just go home
and vibrate.
Just got a new toy actually...
I'm gonna go home...
Do you have any batteries?
Yo, Jack. You get any tonight?
Kinda, sorta.
Nice man!
Gotta tell me your secret
sometime!
Level 36, man!
Hey Jack! The party is
wrapping up man.
Where's Tracy?
she left.
Well, you wanna have a
threesome with us?
Ew.
I'm just looking out for my boy.
So sweet of you...
I'm just gonna grab a beer.
Alright.
We should play a game.
Let's play "Cowboys and
Naked Chicks".
Does it involve boobies?
Of course it involves boobies.
I like it!
Boobies!
Hey, Brittany.
Jack! Guess what?
I just interviewed Tracy.
Seems she dropped you like
a bad habit.
Wait, hold up, what'd,
what did she say?
Spoiler alert!
Okay, okay.
Can we keep my love life out of
your documentary please?
I don't think I can.
So does that mean you
couldn't get it up?
No!
It was up! It was up just fine.
It was...
Next time I have sex, you
wanna film it?
I'm not making that kind
of film.
I'll just interview Vex.
I think he's a bit busy...
I swear I didn't do it!
I didn't do it darling!
Bang bang! Bang bang!
Breaking out the heavy
artillery, baby!
You're shooting an unarmed man!
Well, then arm yourself!
Hey, Brit.
Either of you got handcuffs?
You were about ready to
tell me what Tracy said.
Nice try.
Fucking creep!
What happened?
My boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.
What did he do now?
Is everything ok?
He screwed his masseuse...
again!
Jack, can I crash here? For like
a day or two? I'll pay you.
Yes!
Yeah, the couch is available.
You could, sleep there until
I find some space.
Thanks.
I'm gonna make sure she's okay.
Okay.
Poor Amanda.
Why?
Well, she's like, totally
in love with Tori.
It's obvious.
I didn't know that Amanda
was into...
It's obvious, Jack.
I didn't know she liked...
It's obvious.
Nice.
Wanna grab a beer?
Yeah.
Great.
yummy!
So, took some good footage?
Yeah, I think so.
You okay?
Me? Yeah. Sorry. I zoned.
For you.
Light beer.
Hey, Brit, did you get me
dancing with those
cutie-patooties from the
football team?
You mean the basketball team?
Whatever, they were hot!
No, I didn't. Battery was low.
Aw, that's a shame. Jack,
come hang out with me.
I can't actually. I've gotta
clean the place.
I'm renting this from my Dad and
I can't just trash it, you know.
It looks fine. Come dance
with me!
Another time. Another time.
Promise.
Yay! I'll remember that.
You hanging out tomorrow?
Yeah, we should be. Yeah.
Cool. I'll text you.
Shake what your mama gave you,
baby! Come on!
Ride me dirty, Yeah!
Yeah!
Gotta collect rent.
I'm a wee bit short.
How much?
Like, sorta all of it.
You hit the casino again?
Dude, we talked about this.
No, I'm good for it I swear.
Alright, man.
Thanks. Love you.
I was just collecting rent.
Can I give it to you Friday?
My financial aid fell
through and
I can't even pay my
last payment,
which means I might not
even graduate.
Shit, that sucks.
Yeah, yeah of course.
Thanks.
Hey are...
are you and Tori...
Shit! My Dad!
Is Jack here?
I'm here, I'm here!
Thanks, Tori.
Hey I'll see you later
in class.
Hey!
You didn't return my calls.
Just stopping by to make sure
you didn't burn down the joint.
Not at all. Still here!
Not burning!
So, is she living here?
Tori? No, not at all.
Your mother and I didn't
get this place you so
you can have all your
friends living here.
No... no, no, no, no, no.
We just...
I just had a little
gathering last night.
Paint...
Painting party.
Nice, you painted? Can I see?
Yeah. Soon! It's not done yet.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, so Tori just...
Yeah, she stayed over last night
'cause she wasn't feeling well.
Must be the paint fumes.
You know what? I think
you're right.
Yeah, I think it was
the fumes, yeah.
Man, do I have the
beer shits.
Hey Mr. Miller!
He stayed over, too cause...
fumes.
You know, Jack, we only expect
the best from you,
and anything less is, well,
less, and not acceptable.
Absolutely.
If we find out that you're
screwing up
or using this as a party house,
you can say goodbye to the
skate shop. The house. The car.
All of it. Understand?
You do want the skate shop,
right?
And the other stuff, too.
Good. That's my boy.
I'm your boy!
I'll call you later.
Awesome, Dad. Thanks!
Next time, answer my call.
Yeah.
Run a real business? I don't
think I'm ready for all that...
Jack, you've spent the last
four years getting ready.
Awe come on, Professor, there's
gotta be another way.
Look, I'll re-take my final.
Not an option.
I gotta be honest,
this whole semester it seemed
like you were coasting.
Your colon cancer awareness
campaign?
I thought we had a
good campaign.
"Got Anal?"
It was catchy.
Listen, the only reason I'm
offering you this
is that your father and I go
back pretty far
and he has a good mind
for business.
I thought you might, too.
Maybe that gene skipped me.
Or I'm adopted.
Frank, the manager, is taking
another job,
so it works out perfectly.
Look, I don't know shit
about car washes.
Run it for a week, show a
profit. Do that, you pass.
I would give my first
born child to caress that ass.
You would give up a tiny,
beautiful newborn baby?
I think I would.
So, does your Dad know that
you lost your job yet?
No.
Does he know your renting out
rooms to your friends
to pay for your rent?
No. Not at all, and get this.
I got a 24 on my Final.
Wow! That's
fantastically awful.
Just look at Tori for a sec.
That should make you
feel better.
No. I still feel like a loser.
Yeah, me too. I swore that
would work.
You know my Dad's deal, man.
All I have to do is just pass
my business classes
and he gives me the cash
for the skate shop.
Yeah. I know, you've been
talking about it for years.
But what if you opened it and
it bombed, dude?
Maybe just go work for him.
It'd probably be easier.
I don't know. My professor
made me an offer.
Blowjob? I mean,
I guess it's worth it and all if
you really want the grade...
No, dumbass, not a blowjob.
If I show him that I can run a
business, successfully,
for a week, he'll give me the
credit I need to pass.
What kind of business?
Car wash.
Shit.
It's Big Tony and Bobby Bullets.
Those are their real names?
Vex, my man, how the
hell are ya?
Yeah, Vex, how da fuck are ya?
Come on.
Aren't you guys from here?
Cause, you sound like you just
fell out of a Scorsese movie.
Hey I'll cut ya for that,
ya know!
No, Bobby, relax.
It really wasn't that bad of
a criticism, ya know?
He did say Scorsese!?
No, listen you ain't gotta be
from New York to be New York!
I think you do.
Ya know, Vex, Paulie is
awaiting his payment
and it's our job to collect.
I'll pay it back, guys. Relax.
Paulie ain't one for relaxing.
No. Paulie don't do that shit.
You know, Paulie, he prefers
to break people's arms.
And necks!
That don't make Paulie a
priority?
Ya see, Paulie lent you the
cash,
now it's your job to
pay it back.
Quite fucking simple.
And if that don't work out,
well...
things that are... attached to
your body, they start breaking.
This is very painful.
I told him I'd have it
this week.
You better! Or snap!?
End of da week, bitch! Or snap!
End of the week.
Yo, damn baby. You got a whole
lot of junk up in that trunk.
What do you say I pull up that
bumper and smack that...
Oph!
Let's get out of here, Tony!
Dude, it was a sure thing!
Famous last words.
So, what are we gonna do now?
You're gonna help me with
the car wash.
Sure! But hey, I don't work
for less than thirty bucks
an hour, you know?
A man's gotta have his
principles.
Ten bucks an hour.
Sweet! Fuck principles. I'm in.
Great.
Dude, we should hire Tori too!
Then we'd get some mad business!
Sure, yeah. Why don't we
just open a bikini car wash?
That's a brilliant idea.
That was a joke.
Think about it, man!
It can't miss!
We'd be printing money!
Vex, I'm not running a bikini
car wash, man. It's like, seedy.
But, highly profitable and
I can help.
Help? Dude, we got a hot chick!
Imagine her like soaping up
your car.
Maybe she winks at you, she
blows you a kiss.
You achieve wood. Perfect!
Absolutely, but there is more
than that to running a business.
-We got it all figured out,
Marvin.
You got the numbers
figured out?
Psh! Yeah, Jack's a numbers
whiz. Right?
We might need help with
the numbers.
It's not exactly the
kind of business
my Dad would be cool with,
you know?
And the Professor, I don't
think he wants me
turning his little car wash into
something out of a porno.
I'm so in.
Me, too!
Who said you can
join the team?
It'd be just like Senior Year,
when we ruled Liberty High.
It's a little different than
student government, bro.
Do you even remember
high school?
You know, considering you were
stoned half the time.
I think it was way more
than half.
It doesn't even matter. Look, I
didn't agree to this so...
But if you do, I can make sure
we actually make a profit,
which is the whole point,
correct?
Yeah, I mean I sure as shit
need the cash,
and Jack needs the grade.
Cool down guys, alright.
This is my mess, I make
the decisions!
So you're in, too! Nice!
No, I didn't say that!
Then what are your other
options?
You know, we got less
than a week
and you've got no money.
What else is there?
A lemonade stand?
C'mon. Let me hear your ideas.
I thought so. Think
about it, man!
The hot chicks! Sexy bikinis!
It can't miss!
There's no guarantee...
According to my calculations, it
would be a tremendous success.
I mean it would be nice
if it worked but...
We could run specials. Buy five
washes, get one free.
Theme days! Hot nurses!
And I'll do it for free.
Just help me get her.
Psh... Dude get in line,
alright?
Only a special kind of guy goes
balls deep with Tori.
Why don't you try with someone
like Amanda?
Amanda is totally into Tori.
Whatever, I just mean
someone more realistic, and less
Tori-ish.
My god. Wouldn't it be funny
if he lost Tori to a girl?
No! It would be uproarious.
It's just that, you guys always
get the girls, you know?
And I'm just, not.
I should be proud right now,
but I don't wanna think
about you alone in your room
next time I'm banging.
Come on, Jack, let's help this
bastard get laid.
Awe, dammit. I got myself into
this mess, didn't I?
Yup. But this could be
your chance.
Yo, my bro graduated with a
degree in engineering
and now he's flipping burgers.
It's shit out there, man.
Us millennials, we're screwed.
Look if you join the team,
I cannot guarantee you're
gonna land her.
Just guarantee that you'll try.
Remember the millennials.
Fuck it.
That's the spirit! Yeah!
Can one of you boys help rub
some oil on me?
So, Tori,
I've got a possible business
proposition for you.
What do you think of this blue?
I love it. Take off these
bottoms.
And they go good with
these, too.
What do you think about
this one?
That one's cute. I like the
polka dots.
This must be what Heaven
looks like.
I don't think there are girls in
bikinis in Heaven, Vex! Geez!
Hey Marvin, big favor.
Shut the fuck up!
Shutting up.
Guys, is this too skimpy?
Hell yeah!
For the record, this is gonna
be fucking awesome!
Holy shit, dude we got one!
Hey welcome. How can we
help you?
I want a car wash.
Kelly!
Hey, baby. Did you want the
standard wash, the premium,
or the 'Happy-Ending
Please-Cum-All-Over-Me Rubdown'?
I'll take the last one.
Please pull it... around.
And then you enter...
through the rear.
Yes, Ma'am!
Hi!
Hi! I'm sorry!
It's all good.
I've got plenty of life
to live but it's safe to say
that this will be the best
job I'll ever have!
No doubt, dude.
And with any luck, word of
mouth will spread.
Yeah, everyone is gonna know
about this bikini car wash.
Hey, guys!
Hey.
Brit! You totally missed the
grand opening
of Jack's bikini car wash!
That's 'cause I wasn't aware
Jack had started his own
business.
-It's no big deal. It's just
for my business class.
Yeah, and the whole
bikini aspect
is just a marketing thing.
Yeah, right!
The important thing is just
running the business.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. My bad.
So you have girls in bikinis
washing cars?
Yeah, Brit. It's a
bikini car wash.
You can't not have girls
in bikinis!
You know, Jack.
We're probably the only bikini
car wash in the whole zip code,
if not the whole fucking state.
We're pioneers, bro!
It's inspiring!
Wow. Just like Lewis & Clark.
Wait 'til the girls in my film
class hear about this.
No. I don't know about...
Can I be in it?
Yes!
You should totally put
me in it too.
People love looking at this
fucking face.
I'll start filming tomorrow.
Nah, nah...
You know, I'd...
I'd have to get permission and
there's forms to fill out...
Don't worry, Jack.
I'll just blur out the name
when I edit it.
No... Ya know, and the
customers...
Yeah, I'll just shoot around
them or blur them out, too.
Cool.
Great.
Hey.
Sorry.
Why? I'm just making a Pop Tart.
Okay. Sorry.
Amanda, stop apologizing.
I know, I know, I'm sor...
Hey, I'm sorry for blowing
you off last night.
I just have a lot going on.
Yeah, I totally understand.
My ex is just like... I mean,
look at this body.
Would you go anywhere else?
No, I wouldn't never go
anywhere else, ever.
Like... Like if I were him.
And my lips.
I mean, these are just the
perfect lips to kiss with.
Yeah, pretty perfect lips.
Yeah, yours are nice, too.
No! They're not.
Ya know, if you dressed a
little different,
more confident, and a
little sexier,
I think you'd get more
guys' attention.
Stop! What are you doing?
Let me see your stomach.
See? Perfect.
Whatever.
Anyways, thank you.
Your Pop Tart.
Yeah. Is it cool if I
crash with you?
The couch smells like
puke and chips.
Yeah!
I mean, yeah, sure. Whatever.
Cool. You're the best, Amanda.
Hey, guys. Just real quick,
while I've got ya, I just wanted
to thank, everyone, for today.
You guys were great, really.
I gotta run this thing
for a week,
so if you guys can help out
for a few more days,
that would be awesome.
I can't. I got an
internship.
My friend Mia might be
able to help.
She's super cute.
Super cute is a great quality.
I had fun, but I'm beat.
Well, ya know, once we actually
get a rhythm going,
I sure we can work more
efficiently, guys.
I've done some calculations,
and if we are busy as my numbers
suggest we may indeed be,
anyone working as a bikini
person could bring home
at least two hundred bucks
a day, maybe more,
depending on weather concerns
and of course, traffic.
Shut up, Marvin.
I did get some nice tips.
You know, the pizza place
is really flexible.
I can still be cashier.
I'm in. I don't mind
showing off my girls.
Your girls?
Whoo! Those girls.
I am a big fan of those girls.
But do the girls need to be
out at the moment?
Yes, they do. You wanna
touch 'em, Brit?
They're all natural.
Well, not really.
No, thanks, I'm good.
Yeah, maybe we could just,
ya know...
Sure thing, Jack. Don't want
to offend anyone.
You're not offending me,
you just don't need to
fling them around.
Okay, BRATtany.
Hey!
No fighting, girls,
unless it involves mud wresting
or nudity. Or both.
Hey, Jack, this is gonna
be awesome.
Aw, that feels so good.
You should become a masseuse,
not a lawyer.
I think that lawyers tend
to be more successful
than masseuses.
Read that in books.
Stupid book.
Okay, now it's time
for the front.
Yeah?
Ya know? You could just quit
all this stupid law business
and become a bikini girl.
My parents would love that.
Should I be jealous of you
hanging out
with these bikini girls?
Psh. No way.
I mean, it's not like
you and me are going out
or anything, right?
I like to keep it casual. But
if I was the jealous type...
That would be bad, wouldn't it?
I'm glad you're not the
jealous type.
I'm sorry, did that hurt?
I kinda liked it.
You freak.
Alright, well we've got some
interviews coming in today,
but I've gotta inventory
supplies with Marvin.
So, can you handle them?
No problemo.
Alright.
Be professional.
Obviously!
I'm gonna need to see you
in a bikini.
This better?
Yeah.
Even better?
Please tell your parents I said
Thank You.
Experience. Work history.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
What are your best assets?
Do these count?
Yeah. Those count.
Yeah, ya know.
Great resume. We'll call you.
Does that help your decision?
Fuck yeah. When can
you start?
How'd it go, man?
I miss anything?
Meh.
Holy...
Shit.
Hi.
Hi.
April told me about the job?
Here's my resume.
Yes. Yes, you heard right...
What are some of your
qualifications?
I'm an excellent customer
service provider,
and I'll do pretty much
anything to make sure
the customer is extremely
satisfied.
You're hired.
Vex, please.
Great.
Can you tell us about some of
the other positions you've held?
Positions?
I've been in a lot of
different positions.
Awesome!
What are some of your faves?
Are you flirting with me?
You're making me blush, honey.
No, no, no. He means jobs.
No, I meant positions.
I've had a lot of experience in
a lot of different positions.
And I'm very flexible.
Flexibility is a huge plus!
Here. Come on.
Most of the jobs I've had,
have been under the table.
As in...
No, Vex. Off the books, man.
I know what under the
table means.
Pfft. This guy...
Mia, look, wow. This... this all
sounds great, it does, really.
But see, I'm not solely looking
for sex appeal...
Well, I am!
Vex!
Did I mention that my
friend, Neil,
owns an exotic car dealership?
I'm sure I could persuade him
to bring his cars
here for washing and detailing.
Okay, now is she hired?
Welcome to the team, Mia!
Dave still own this joint?
Who's Dave?
Dave Dugan. Or as I like to
fondly refer to him, Dildo Dave.
Nobody really thinks that's
funny, Bobby.
I meant to tell ya that.
Like I give a flying fuck.
Some people call him,
The Professor.
That's because he's a professor.
Anyways, yeah, he owns
the space.
So you're the new manager of
this fine establishment?
Temporarily.
Good enough.
We'd like to wish you the best
of luck with your endeavor.
Cool, thanks.
I was being facetious.
I kinda like nerdy girls.
you're nowhere near
my type.
Enough, Bobby. We'd like to
make a withdrawal.
Of what? I don't understa...
Money, smart guy!
You fail outta college
or something?
Actually, that's kind of a
funny story...
No it ain't and we don't care!
We truly don't give anywhere
close to a shit
regarding your situation.
I'll make it simple.
Dildo Dave...
Yes!
The Professor
and all the local joints pay
us a small weekly fee,
and we make sure that nothing
bad happens to their businesses.
It's a car wash. What
could happen?
It could explode.
Yeah, it definitely
could explode.
Boom!
There's nothing explosive here.
Ya never know.
Actually, I do.
We're just here to offer
protection, that's all.
Yeah, I'm gonna call the police.
You put that stapler
near my face,
I'll break your boss' windpipe.
It's cool. It's cool, Amanda.
It's fine.
The money. Or I break
your nose,
then your hands, and something
else randomly.
How much?
The usual.
I don't know the usual!
Jack, today's numbers
look great!
I think the usual has
just increased.
How much did they get?
More than I wanted to part with.
How do we make it back?
Hard work.
I hate that idea. Any
other options?
Guys, you've gotta see this!
I hear your girls do a good job.
You did?
You heard right. What kind
of package would you like?
The works.
Four girls. Good choice.
I hope so.
Shit! This is awesome!
Hey, I told you, Mia was
a good hire!
Hey! Chill, man!
We need to be careful, alright?
This is high end here.
High end people have high end
friends, which means...
More Ferraris?
Yes, Vex. More Ferraris.
So be super careful.
Of course!
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Feet on
the ground please.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Hand Wash Only.
Hey, nice job.
I like this place.
Perhaps I'll recommend
my friends.
We definitely appreciate
referrals.
Hey, and next time...
let her climb on the hood.
I wanna be him when I grow up.
Hey, what's up Kell-bell?
Just wanted to ask
you something.
Shoot.
I think it would really help and
get us a lot of business
if we really pushed the envelope
on the sexiness thing.
I mean, I'll talk to Jack.
But I'm not sure how sexy
he'd want to go though.
I'm a really sexual person,
so I can be as sexual as
you want me to be.
Really...
cause ya know, I'm a pretty
sexual person myself...
Are you?
Well, yeah. I mean, Vex
does rhyme with...
I know what it rhymes with.
So show me, baby.
Hey, Marcy! Sara!
My little sisters got a
lemonade stand? Nice.
Buy some lemonade!
Hell, yeah!
I mean, heck yes. Please.
Jack, buddy, can you spot me?
Lemonades are on me.
Three bucks! And we can't break
anything over twenty.
Here you go.
Thanks! We made nine
dollars now!
Twelve, Sara.
We might sell other stuff, too,
in case people get sick of
lemonade.
Like orange juice! And milk!
Ew. Not milk, Sara, that's
disgusting.
But maybe orange juice.
And if you refer someone you get
a coupon for a free lemonade.
That's a pretty good deal.
Hey everyone!
I was gonna stop by today
for that rent check.
I got it right here,
so no need!
And the girls wanted to see what
their big brother is up to.
No we didn't.
Daddy said let's see what kind
of trouble you're getting into.
Marcy. Did you finish
painting?
Painting? Like Jack would
paint...
Wow, this is good lemonade!
Jack.
Yeah.
Your mother and I don't
appreciate you
trashing the house.
Not everyone gets an
opportunity like this.
Well, Jack did just start
a business.
A business? Really?
What is it?
It's not gonna be like that
business project you did
with the banana and the
donut is it...
"BanoNut"! That was
a tasty failure.
No. No, dad, it's nothing
like that.
I'm just...
just helping someone out.
It's no big deal.
It's only temporary.
I see. Is it a
real business?
Yeah. It is.
Daddy says the only way
to make money
is to be evil and ruthless.
Heartless!
No, he said ruthless.
You're an idiot.
Girls, that's enough.
I'm gonna stop by in a few days.
The house better be in good
shape... painted or not.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Let's get you girls some lunch!
But what if somebody
wants lemonade?
It'll be okay for a few minutes.
Good luck with your
business, girls!
Whoa, harsh.
Sorry, did I say too much in
front of your dad?
You were in a jam.
Yeah, you were totally jammed.
You should just tell him
the truth.
Truth? My parents don't
know shit about me.
And that's for their
own protection.
So I should tell him that
I might fail
the only class he wants
me to pass,
that I got fired from the job
I was supposed to keep
to pay rent and that I run
a bikini car wash?
The truth rocks. My opinion.
Maybe not all the truth.
But I have to admit this will
be great for the movie.
Built-in drama.
Just pass the popcorn!
Sorry. I get nervous in front of
the camera. Can we try again?
Yeah, I'll just keep rolling.
Okay. For real this time!
So, why I became a bikini
girl...
It's all about the Benjamins,
baby.
Kelly, this is my interview!
But I do love the Benjamins!
Making it rain, baby.
Making it rain. Whoa!
Make it rain on me, Vex!
Make it rain on me!
No! You're not involved
in the rain.
Sorry, I was just trying
to be funny.
Hey, dudes don't get rained.
Yeah. Yeah.
Making it rain!
Okay. Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
Let me just say that I am...
very drunk.
But, also, on Jack's behalf,
I just wanna say
that we are off to a really
good start, motherfuckers!
Cheers!
I need more drinks to drink?
I got rum.
I'll grab a glass!
My God! Grab me some!
I'd get these glasses, but I'm
a little buzzed at the moment.
Awe, you're so sweet!
Like a candy cane.
Actually, they're minty,
not really sweet.
Sweet to me would be like
a lollipop or...
Something with a higher
sugar content.
But, candy cane, nice! Thanks!
-Yay!
-Yay!
Tori... Can I ask you
a question?
Yeah, you just did, silly!
I got the rum!
O-M-G! This one guy was so
totally getting off
when I was washing
his windshield.
He even had it out.
Ew, it?
Yeah! That should be
extra, right?
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Alone?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm a little concerned.
I think there's a line
that you don't want to cross
with the car wash.
I mean, Kelly's nipples did
more washing than her hands.
Well that's part of
the deluxe wash.
Is it? I didn't know that.
Sure. Or you can go with just
the nipple wash by itself,
but it's a better value
if you go deluxe.
Now I see. Then the nips
are fine.
No, you're right. I'll
talk to them.
We shouldn't have the
nipples out.
Just looking out for you.
Just looking out for you, too.
I wouldn't want you falling down
and breaking that pretty
little a...
ca... camera.
Yeah, that'd be awful.
You know, you're doing a nice
job with the car wash,
even though I wasn't exactly
sold on it.
That makes two of us.
Seems like the girls are
into it, too.
And my film might actually turn
out better than I thought,
that is, if the girls in my
class don't steal my footage
and burn it.
That wouldn't be so bad,
would it?
Kidding. Kidding.
I'm sure you've probably
got enough
car wash footage,
though, right?
I could use more footage. Unless
you don't want me around.
No, no, no, no. That's not
what I meant. I... no.
I totally want you...
around. Around, you know
what I mean.
Then I'll be around.
Cool.
Hey, guys, am I interrupting?
Actually...
I need another beer.
Wow. Someone has a bug
up her ass.
Nope. I don't think she has
any bugs up her ass.
Or anywhere else.
You're the boss.
And a really good one.
Well. I don't know about that.
If wasn't for your creativity,
none of it would have worked.
I didn't really do
all that much.
Aw, you're being modest.
No, but, I was thinking that
maybe we should
tone down some of the
sexy stuff.
Why would we want to do that?
I mean, I want the business to
be successful, of course,
but you know just not
with all the nudity.
What's wrong with a
little... nudity?
Nothing, in the right context.
Is this the right context?
Yeah, sure.
But, ya know, the car wash isn't
really the place...
But, you know I'm all about
customer satisfaction.
Customer satisfaction
is critical.
Aw, Jack, you're blushing.
Am I? No.
Just. One. More. Button.
Jack, you can't feel a girl up
and leave her hanging.
It's not polite.
Am I right, Brit?
I didn't... I wasn't...
I wouldn't...
I'll see you guys tomorrow.
But, Brit, look. But,
we're celebrating.
Then celebrate. I'm tired.
You may want to put those away.
Yeah. I'm gonna go back
to the party.
That's what I'm talking about!
So all I was saying for is that,
we just need to be careful
about going too far.
But going too far is
too much fun.
Especially when Tori has
a few drinks in her!
Put on a show for us, Tori!
Go, Tori! Go, Tori! Go, Tori!
Is this going too far?
No!
Is this too much?
Keep going!
Hi.
You got the poor kid speechless!
Give him a lap dance!
Hell yeah!
Careful, Marvin. You might hurt
someone with that thing!
Come out. We're having
so much fun.
I'm tired. And you're drunk.
I'm not even that drunk.
Okay, maybe I'm a little
that drunk.
You're such a good friend.
Thanks, friend.
Yeah. You should be a
bikini girl.
I do not have the body for that.
What? Come here...
Tori, what are you doing?
Let me look at you.
Tori, what are you doing?
Tori, come on...
Tori!
You have really nice legs.
Tori, what are you doing?
Come on! Let me see you.
Tori, this is weird.
Tori?
Perfect. Wow.
Why aren't you seeing anyone?
Are you a good kisser?
I don't know. I haven't really
had much practice.
That's crazy. You're such
a cute girl.
Come on, lick your lips for me.
Again, but with more tongue.
Yeah, that was perfect.
Really, so good...
I love you so much.
Tori?
Tori? Tori?
Dammit.
Whoa, Tracy?
What the fuck?
Good morning to you, too.
What happened?
You don't remember?
Well, you were pretty drunk.
I came over after the party.
I guess I needed a booty call.
I don't...
Did we...?
Baby. You rocked my world.
I'm kidding, you passed out.
It seemed a bit rapey.
But, you're up now.
You're not up.
Aren't you supposed to get
morning wood or something?
No. Hey, hey, hey.
Tracy, look...
I'm sorry about this.
Your penis?
No. Not my penis. Look,
hey... I've had fun with you
and everything.
It's, there's someone else who...
Thank god.
I thought it was me.
I'm gonna go text Vex.
He seems like a
kinky motherfucker!
Wow.
Hey, Marvin.
Hey, Mia.
Could I ask you for some advice?
Yeah, sure, what's up?
Okay, I have this friend
who really likes this girl
and wants to ask her out. But
he's a bit apprehensive.
That's pretty normal.
Is he cute?
Well, I'm not sure how one
might categorize his appearance,
but let's just he's no
stud muffin.
Does he have a personality?
Is he funny?
Girls like funny. Funny can
be pretty hot.
Like, jokes? Or ventriloquism?
Put it this way, the guys
I date are cute,
but they're also funny. The last
guy I dated was about a seven,
but he had a great personality,
which made him a nine.
Gosh. I didn't know
girls rated guys.
Of course we do.
So, tell your "friend" that a
little humor goes a long way.
And good luck.
Well, hey, shit bag!
Bobby, easy.
Fellas. I got the dough.
Yeah, you better have!
What'd I do?
Ya never stop.
Stop what?
-You're like an earwig...
-An earwig?
Just nattering tete-tete-te,
day in, day out!
No, I...
You never shut up. I can't even
think when I'm around you!
But what the fuck is an earwig?
Forget it!
Here it is.
Yeah, five. We're good.
Damn. I was looking forward to
breaking both your arms
and beating you with them.
Pa-Paw!
Lucky prick.
Hey! Can I get
a receipt?
He...
This guy!
How 'bout this, I'll give ya a
"get the fuck outta here!"
That works!
What?
No, I'm trying not to talk.
Good.
But you know, I really don't
think I talk all that much
to begin with, and when I do,
it's because I got
something to say or to state my
opinion. And you know what,
given the freedoms we have
in this country
you could say what you want to...
God help me!
Hey!
-Hey, Marvin.
-Tori...
do you know how to spot a
blind guy at a nudist colony?
What?
It's not hard. Get it?
What's the difference between
love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing
and gargling!
That's disgusting. I gotta
get back to work.
Maybe it's my delivery.
What do you think Martin?
Vex! Stop bombing
Vanessa's shoot!
We got some nice shots, V.
Awesome, thank you!
So Jack, I have to thank you for
bringing me on at the car wash.
Bikini car wash.
Jack the exploiter.
He's so proud.
Come on, Brit. You know I'm
not trying to do that.
I'm just busting your stones.
Relax!
Really, no biggie.
Nobody's forcing us
to work there.
We're getting paid and it's fun.
And I could make a few bucks.
Maybe we're exploiting the
guys who are willing
to pay way too much to have
their cars washed.
You're preaching to
the choir, Vanessa!
Vex agrees with me?
Maybe I am wrong.
Forget everything I said.
I'll just upload these for you.
Thanks, Brit. You rock.
See you guys tomorrow.
See? Vanessa likes the
bikini car wash.
Shut it.
Hey, who's ready to go
in the pool?
No, no. No, Stop! Stop!
No! Don't...
Alright, ladies, so we're
offering detailing now.
So, just make sure to take
a look at
the new price list I handed out.
Plus we're offering
referral coupons.
These are really good
ideas, Jack.
Great. Marvin got us a
good deal on sealant,
so we can offer that now.
Try to get the customers
to upgrade, you know. It'll make
us, and you all, more money.
I like the sound of that!
We'll get them to upgrade!
sexy, not slutty.
I'm not changing anything.
We want to give the customers
a reason to come back, right?
Well, yeah, of course.
But Jack said...
Jack's doing this for his
stupid class.
He doesn't know what's best.
I think he's doing a
really nice job.
The customers will come back
for us, not for sealant.
Without us, there's nothing.
So let's give them a reason
to come back.
I'm screwed. Now they're working
together. What am I gonna do?
Just talk to her, man.
Ask her out.
I tried to tell her
some jokes...
Jokes? How'd that go?
It didn't. You guys were right.
She's in a league of her own.
Marvin, look, they're all in
leagues of their own, alright?
You just gotta figure out which
approach works best.
Easier said that done.
Think of it like a
computer program
you're trying to figure out.
Like coding?
Yes, exactly!
So, talking to a girl is like
building a website?
Okay, fuck the coding thing.
Look, just talk to her.
Ask her out.
Okay. But, what if
she says no?
Marvin, look, if she says
"yes" then great.
If not, then just move on
to someone else.
Alright? Cause look, Marvin,
you're a smart motherfucker
and some chicks, they dig
smart motherfuckers.
Yeah... I am a smart
motherfucker!
Damn right you are!
I got this!
Damn right you do! Yeah.
So, do you think he really has
a chance with Tori?
He needed a boost.
I'm just afraid he'll get his
hopes up, you know?
Yeah. But, I mean, you know,
what else should he do?
Nothing? I mean, in high school,
I wasn't all that smooth
remember? It was Vex that gave
me the boost I needed.
Megan Tucci, I remember.
But she said "no."
Yup. But it made it easier
to ask out the next girl.
Who also said "no."
No, she said "Hell no!"
But eventually, one said yes.
I like that. You really
want to help him.
I'll admit, it's kinda sexy.
You think?
Just one second.
Bikini... Car Wash.
Thank you for calling.
Jack! Keeping busy?
Very! Actually.
Really?
Just... making a few twerks,
tweaks!
Makin-Just trying to jump-start
business! That's all.
Terrific! I'm interested in
hearing about these tweaks.
I'm sure you'll be
impressed! Okay, bye.
I'm screwed.
Pretty much.
Hi.
Hi, Marvin.
Did you wanna ask me something?
Or, are you just gonna stare
at me all day?
Yeah! I was... Are you
busy, like, later?
Don't know. Depends. Why?
Well, I was wondering if
you wanted to
go out with me or something?
Me? Go out with you?
Yeah. I know I'm not the
typical kind of guy you go for,
but I am a nice guy.
And I'm fun as hell.
Anyway, I'm not gonna beg.
There are lots of girls
in the world who'd love to go
out with me, but I'm asking you.
I'll think about it.
Hey.
Woo!
What happened?
She said she'll think about it!
I am so glad Jack pumped me up.
By the way, why aren't you and
Jack together?
Don't mean to pry.
I don't know. I mean,
we've always just been friends.
I don't think he's into me
like that.
All guys are into girls
like that.
It's a well-known fact, you see.
Are you the dating
expert now?
Well, I've researched the dating
scene ever since I hit puberty.
And just because I'm normally
scared of the opposite sex,
I've learned quite a few things
regarding relationships,
at least in theory.
In theory...
I've got the charts to prove it.
Bye! Come back soon!
See, you're a natural.
Shut up.
Guess who just asked me out?
Marvin?
Yeah! It's a good idea, getting
back at my ex, don't you think,
going out with a guy
like Marvin?
Your ex was a real asshole.
Amanda!
What! I just meant for
cheating on you.
I know, he's pretty dumb.
Well, you should hang out
with us, too.
Hey, Mia said you wanted
to talk?
Yeah. I need you to
tone things down.
Alright, but Vex said
it was okay.
Vex? Look, he's not running
this thing. I am, okay?
If you can't follow the rules,
I won't be able to have you on
for the last few days of this.
I'm doing it because of my girl.
Because you're getting
breast implants?
No, not those girls. My
daughter. Her dad is a deadbeat.
I had no idea. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Look, everyone has stuff
going on. Alright?
Just play it cool, you know.
Don't cross the line. Alright?
I've got a lot riding on this,
I just don't wanna blow it.
Okay?
Thank you.
Hey, bro! Want a sammy?
You told the girls it was okay
to sex it up out there?
You know I didn't want
that, man.
My grade and everything is
on the line here.
It was Kelly's idea, really.
When did you talk to her
about it?
I don't know. You know,
the other night.
Before or after you had sex?
I didn't say we had sex.
Before.
I mean, I was stressed
about cash.
And Marvin said sex lowers
your blood pressure,
so that's why I did it, you
know. For health reasons.
You had sex with her
for your health?
Yeah?
And you're blaming Marvin now?
Vex. I am supposed to be in
charge here, man.
You went behind my back.
Well I didn't think it was
that big a deal!
You're not gonna can me, are ya?
I don't know, man. I gotta
think about it.
Stupid fucking penis!
-Hey!
-Hey!
So, did you fire, Vex? He's
refusing to get drunk.
No, that'd be pretty ruthless.
Or is it heartless?
Not sure. Ask your sisters.
So, does the inventor of
Easy-Corn think running
a business is harder then
he thought it'd be?
First of all, Easy-Corn could
be a hit, if marketed well.
Dude, it's corn, in a baggy!
It's the perfect snack! Come on.
And now, a bikini car wash.
My ideas are just ahead
of their time.
Sure, that's what it is.
My Dad's gonna kill me.
Probably. But, fuck it, ya know?
You're not your dad.
And, I didn't think the bikini
car wash was the best plan.
But you know what? It works
and it's helping everyone.
Yeah, and it saved Vex from
getting his legs broken.
Can Vex be saved?
It's weird, and I never thought
I'd say it, Easy-Corn,
but your bikini car wash is
actually doing some good.
Girls in my class would kill
me for saying that.
Well, look. If they do, just
make sure you film it.
You think she's with her ex?
Yeah. Probably.
She say anything about
going out with me?
No.
Why do we like her? Is she
even our type?
Is it just because she's hot?
If she went for me,
it would only be temporary.
I know that.
I even calculated the chance
that she was actually into me
and it is infinitesimally small.
I probably have the
same chance.
No. I calculated yours, too.
It was marginally higher.
And how did you calculate that,
exactly?
Charts and graphs mainly.
It's very complicated.
I didn't know she's into
girls, too.
But I can't say
I blame her
You look magnificent
in a bikini.
No, that must be the
booze talking.
Nope. I have a very high
alcohol tolerance.
Well, it was fun, but it's
just not really my thing.
Just did it for her.
Dumb, right?
Not at all. I don't dress up
nice for just anyone,
except for like a prom date or
something like that you know...
You know, I think a nice shirt
is a lot different than
a bikini, Marvin.
Yeah, I guess. You look
fantastic now, too.
Not just in a bikini. I just
never noticed before.
Not sure why.
If I were Tori, I'd totally
be into you.
If I were her...
Tor... I'm gonna...
Hey.
Looked like you were having fun.
No, it was nothing.
Where were you?
My ex's. He's such an ass.
I told him that Marvin
asked me out
and he just got all mad.
But it's whatever.
Come here.
I really love this dress on you.
Thank you.
I told you that you had
really nice legs.
You feel nice, baby.
Are you drunk already?
A teeny bit.
Come on, I thought you
were having fun...
Yeah, it was fun, but I just
don't think you're my type.
Where were we?
Well... we were sitting
on the couch.
And there was kissing.
Like that?
I-ffirmative.
But what about Tori?
She's not our type.
Hey, Brittany.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry if I was mopey
and lame last night.
You were mopey. And super lame.
And well, I thought about
what you said the other day...
and I gotta come clean to my
Dad and the professor.
It's really my only option.
You're gonna have to
let me film that.
So, Jack, what makes a
successful business?
Hard work, good work
ethic. Hard work...
You said that already!
Yo, Jack. Hey, bro. Do
you got a sec?
Sure.
So, I just want to say
that...
I'm sorry for going behind
your back.
You know, I really do want this
to succeed. And not just for me,
and the fact that I can
basically
like look at boobies all day.
But because you're my best
friend, ya know. And...
I think you're a kick-ass boss.
Thanks, man.
You just don't want to be
kicked out of the house.
Yeah, that, too...
And the boobies.
Sorry about that.
It's cool, but I do have to
tell you something.
Okay, shoot.
What the hell, man!
I paid my debt!
I'm not here for your debt.
I quit Paulie's gang.
But I'm out of money, so
I'm here to take yours.
Where do you keep
the cash, bitch?
Dude, we just made a deposit.
Bullshit!
Dude, why don't you just like
rob a gas station or something.
I know yous guys gots it
here somewhere!
We ain'ts gots no money, man.
Alright that's bullshit, and
don't make fun of my accent!
You should never quit a job
without a back-up plan.
This is my back-up plan!
Not a very good one.
Even a retail job will
be something.
Yeah, like a stock boy
or something.
Yeah. Except you do have
to work holidays.
True, and the customers are...
I'm not working fucking retail!
They're just trying
to help, man.
You shut your mouth, dickbag!
Why didn't you yell at them
when they suggested retail?
It was your condescending tone,
you freaking dweeb!
I wasn't condescending!
Fine, they fired me.
Alright. Ya happy?
They said I was being
too temperamental.
Which is bullshit, I mean,
yeah, I like to kick shit
and blow things up every
once in a while.
But considering my upbringing,
I'm pretty fucking low-key!
Low-key?
Alright, that's it.
Wait a second there mister!
Bitch, I will kick your ass!
You should work retail!
NOOOO!
Okay, enough!
Now, listen you spaghetti-loving
ass, this is Jack's business,
not yours. So the money he
makes is his, got it?
Got it...
No! Please don't slap me!
I swear to god I'ma leave
him alone! I promise I won't...
What the hell?
Man, that was close. Whoo...
My balls are on fire.
You were pretty good, Bobby.
It felt good. I thought maybe
the middle was bit much.
No, it was just right.
Hey, guys! Guys!
Wh-what's going on?
they hurt.
Bobby is in my theater class.
And this was my improv final.
It felt pretty good.
You get it all?
Yeah, got it.
I can actually taste the pain.
So, you're not a mobster guy?
Well, it got a little bit on the
side. I'd rather be an actor.
I'm trying to get out of the
mob biz. Big Tony though?
Woof... He's the real deal.
He scares me, honestly.
Well, you scared us.
Aw, thanks. It's a compliment.
Truly is.
Can I make it up to you though?
I feel terrible.
Honestly. Yeah, and your
balls dude...
Two things. Number one.
Get Paulie off of our ass.
I'll see what I can do. I can't
promise anything,
but some guys just did open a
strip club next to his bar,
so they're gonna want us to
offer some "protection."
Yeah, it could "explode".
You never know.
Yeah.
What's the second thing?
That was a pretty good
freakin' idea.
Exploiting both sexes?
Very smart.
It's just balance.
Like adding orange juice
to a lemonade stand.
Vex, suit up.
Yes, sir!
Hello!
-Hey!
-Hey.
You were pretty brave with
that mob guy.
You mean the part-time
mob guy student actor
playing a stereo-typical
mob guy?
You didn't know that
at the time.
It wasn't a big deal.
So, you and Amanda?
Yeah.
Would you ever have gone
out with me anyway?
Marvin, trust me, you don't
need the drama.
Besides, you guys make a
really cute couple.
Just, don't tell her any jokes.
Deal! And how about you?
My ex wanted to get back
together... I said "no thanks."
He's not my type.
And you're gonna be okay?
Yeah, I just need to be alone
for a while, you know.
Maybe like a day or two.
I'll figure out the rest.
So, how fast does
this thing go?
0 to 69
in ten seconds flat!
Shit...
Paint my ass.
Unbelievable.
Wait till his mother sees
this shit.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Made it into a god damn
dormitory!
Kelly! You can't do that! He's
an old guy, you could kill him.
I'm fine!
Jack, c'mon. Wait 'til you
see the tip I get!
Look, I know you're doing this
for your daughter and all,
but this is not how I want
my business to run.
Did you actually
believe me?
So you lied?
Come on, Jack, don't
be such a prude.
You need me shaking my ass
at the customers,
because that's what
makes them happy.
She's right!
Red alert, Jack!
Your Dad is here!
Fuck!
Jack!
There's no Jack
working here.
Never has been. Thank you,
come again.
Jack...
Dad!
Don't "Dad!" Me! What the
hell is going on?
This is the business?
It's just, ya know...
And I was at the house, too.
Hey. My car is still
very dirty.
One second, Dad.
We're gonna need another
bikini girl.
Kelly, you can flag cars.
But Jack...
It's either that or nothing.
I'll flag.
So how'd you know I was here?
Shit!
I can explain, Professor.
Please do.
I'm just trying to figure out
where to begin.
You lost your job, so instead
of finding something else
you had some students rent some
rooms to cover your rent.
Yeah, but I can get them to
leave if that's what you want.
But just so you know, they're
not just random students,
they're actually my friends.
Yo, Ferrari Guy is on the phone.
He wants another wash
and he's got all these buddies
at a Car Club.
They want a wash, too.
Talk about this later. Please.
So, am I getting a car wash
today?
Hallelujah!
Your housing situation, that's
one thing. But this?
How did you end up here?
You said you were doing well.
Dad. I failed my Business Final,
and I didn't do so well on a
couple of other projects.
Can I just say though, that the
chocolate-covered sausage
may not be for everyone, but
I thought it was inspired.
Thanks, Brit.
Jack, I gave you a chance. I did
it for your dad. And this?
This is what you did with it?
A bikini car wash?
I'm sure you can understand the
professor's concerns, Jack.
Yeah, he looks pretty pissed.
He is. This isn't what
I had in mind.
I analyzed your sales history
and this week we brought
in more money than your last
three months combined.
That's gotta count for
something.
Hey, I just gotta say.
This is easily
the best job I've ever had. I
usually wanna quit after like,
two minutes, but it's not
like that here.
Yeah, and I was able to pay
for classes
so I could continue
going to school.
And I got the best
car wash ever!
And I... got laid.
Which is a miracle, honestly,
but probably not the best time
for that announcement buddy.
Admittedly,
it does look like they
kicked up the sales a notch.
Sales are impressive, but using
bikinis and what not...
It's called marketing, sir.
Plus, I mean, you never said we
couldn't do it this way. Right?
Is that Bobby...?
Hey, Dildo Dave!
Bobby Bullets... Yeah,
he works here now.
And by the way, Jack was able
to stop the extortion
that was going on here from
those mob weirdos
that you somehow failed
to mention.
Imagine the headlines
if one of your students was
hurt because of that?
I didn't know they
were due this week.
Regardless, they wont be
bothering you any longer.
'Cause Jack handled it.
We handled it.
Considering none of us
knew anything about running
a car wash, I'd say we
kicked ass.
I know that some of my
projects this semester
may have been lacking...
Hey! Long live "BanoNut"!
But you know,
I'd have to say that this should
be considered a success.
So, if this doesn't work out,
maybe I'll open up my own
little bikini car wash,
and I'll bring all my
friends with me.
That's my boss!
A+?
Not quite, but it'll be good
enough for you to barely pass.
Yes! I barely passed!
So that's what we're paying
for college for?
So you can barely pass?
No, Dad. No. No. No...
I took on a challenge and
we made it work.
That was the assignment.
Grades are just
letters and numbers.
But this place...
To me, this... this is what
defines success or not.
And the fact that we have
shitloads of customers here
and more on the way, I think
that speaks for itself.
Boy. I'm gonna have to sell
this to your mother, you know.
Can I film that?
-No!
-No!
So, that's it. Your extra credit
is done. You guys can go.
But we've... we've got
more cars coming.
Yeah, Car Club folks.
And tons more later
this afternoon.
Well, we wouldn't want to lose
business now, would we?
Alright we got a big order
coming in, guys.
All hands on deck.
Kelly, too. We're gonna
need her.
Jack, I like that you rose
to the challenge.
You know what impressed me?
When you didn't fire that gal.
That would've been the
easier way out.
She's a hard worker, just
needs a little guidance.
Don't we all.
So, I wanted to ask
you something.
No, Jack. I am not gonna join
the bikini girl car wash.
Are you sure? 'Cause there's
a hot pink bikini out there
somewhere with your name on it.
No, I was just thinking that
maybe if you weren't,
you know...
Will you go out with me?
Like a date?
Exactly like a date.
I don't know if I can go out
with the subject of my film.
I thought you were just
filming that
for all your feminist friends
so they can hunt me down.
When I started, it was
about college life,
but then it changed. I decided
to make it about...
Hey! We got another Ferrari
coming in!
We could use some help, bro.
You.
The story of a dorky, but
kinda cute guy
trying to open a business,
and making it work.
"Cute?"
I guess.
Whoa!
Hey, maybe we can use Easy-Corn
in your film.
A little product placement,
ya know.
No.
No? Okay.
So that's how I
started my business.
Our business,
'cause it's not just me.
It's these awesome people around
me that made it work.
And yeah, the bikinis help.
So, what's the secret to
running a successful business?
Hard work and determination.
And boobies!
Shake that booty, shake, shake
that booty. Yeah, yeah.
Tenacity!
And Balls.
And accurate calculations...
The girls!
Another secret to a
successful business?
Easy-Corn, BanoNut,
Corn-a-Macabre.
Gag!
The threat of violence.
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!
Running a business takes
a lot of things,
but principally... honesty.
Self confidence.
Trust.
How about the guns?
probably... me!
Tori... I swear to God...
she digs me!
Wait, what was the question?
You know my answer.
it starts with a "B"...
Oooh... Dedication, probably.
What is that?
Martin wants to answer the
questions too!
Focus!
And guts!
And it rhymes with "newbies"
It's all about the Benjamins,
baby!
As stated in my class, fifty
percent of small businesses
fail on their first year.
And with these three monkeys
running it...
it'll definitely fall
in that category.
Wait, what's YOUR answer, Brit?
Hey, I'm the interviewer here!
No you don't!
a business ain't easy.
And if anyone tells you
otherwise,
they're just lying to ya.
And running a bikini car wash?
Now, as glamorous as that
might sound...
Okay, I'll admit, it's pretty
glamorous.
But, it wasn't always like this.
Baby focus, I'm so close.
Are you?
Yeah.
Jack! Don't text and fuck!
But it's okay. It's okay.
It's alright, keep going!
Yeah, just like that.
That's right.
You're cute... like a
little monkey
It feels so amazing...
Are you texting?
No!
What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong?
I thought you were close...
Yeah, I was, okay? Was!
That's past tense.
I can't have sex with you
while you're texting.
I can multi-task.
Yeah, come on. It's okay.
I'm still hard.
I can get that back.
I can get it back.
I like you, you're a fun guy,
you're super nice, but yeah,
something makes me think
you're not that into me.
No, no, no, no. I'm totally
into you.
What's my major?
Well...
Botany!
I mean, art history!
That's right...
Journalism.
One-night stands are
fun and all, but
a guy one-night standing has
to be able to focus on me.
Otherwise I could just go home
and vibrate.
Just got a new toy actually...
I'm gonna go home...
Do you have any batteries?
Yo, Jack. You get any tonight?
Kinda, sorta.
Nice man!
Gotta tell me your secret
sometime!
Level 36, man!
Hey Jack! The party is
wrapping up man.
Where's Tracy?
she left.
Well, you wanna have a
threesome with us?
Ew.
I'm just looking out for my boy.
So sweet of you...
I'm just gonna grab a beer.
Alright.
We should play a game.
Let's play "Cowboys and
Naked Chicks".
Does it involve boobies?
Of course it involves boobies.
I like it!
Boobies!
Hey, Brittany.
Jack! Guess what?
I just interviewed Tracy.
Seems she dropped you like
a bad habit.
Wait, hold up, what'd,
what did she say?
Spoiler alert!
Okay, okay.
Can we keep my love life out of
your documentary please?
I don't think I can.
So does that mean you
couldn't get it up?
No!
It was up! It was up just fine.
It was...
Next time I have sex, you
wanna film it?
I'm not making that kind
of film.
I'll just interview Vex.
I think he's a bit busy...
I swear I didn't do it!
I didn't do it darling!
Bang bang! Bang bang!
Breaking out the heavy
artillery, baby!
You're shooting an unarmed man!
Well, then arm yourself!
Hey, Brit.
Either of you got handcuffs?
You were about ready to
tell me what Tracy said.
Nice try.
Fucking creep!
What happened?
My boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.
What did he do now?
Is everything ok?
He screwed his masseuse...
again!
Jack, can I crash here? For like
a day or two? I'll pay you.
Yes!
Yeah, the couch is available.
You could, sleep there until
I find some space.
Thanks.
I'm gonna make sure she's okay.
Okay.
Poor Amanda.
Why?
Well, she's like, totally
in love with Tori.
It's obvious.
I didn't know that Amanda
was into...
It's obvious, Jack.
I didn't know she liked...
It's obvious.
Nice.
Wanna grab a beer?
Yeah.
Great.
yummy!
So, took some good footage?
Yeah, I think so.
You okay?
Me? Yeah. Sorry. I zoned.
For you.
Light beer.
Hey, Brit, did you get me
dancing with those
cutie-patooties from the
football team?
You mean the basketball team?
Whatever, they were hot!
No, I didn't. Battery was low.
Aw, that's a shame. Jack,
come hang out with me.
I can't actually. I've gotta
clean the place.
I'm renting this from my Dad and
I can't just trash it, you know.
It looks fine. Come dance
with me!
Another time. Another time.
Promise.
Yay! I'll remember that.
You hanging out tomorrow?
Yeah, we should be. Yeah.
Cool. I'll text you.
Shake what your mama gave you,
baby! Come on!
Ride me dirty, Yeah!
Yeah!
Gotta collect rent.
I'm a wee bit short.
How much?
Like, sorta all of it.
You hit the casino again?
Dude, we talked about this.
No, I'm good for it I swear.
Alright, man.
Thanks. Love you.
I was just collecting rent.
Can I give it to you Friday?
My financial aid fell
through and
I can't even pay my
last payment,
which means I might not
even graduate.
Shit, that sucks.
Yeah, yeah of course.
Thanks.
Hey are...
are you and Tori...
Shit! My Dad!
Is Jack here?
I'm here, I'm here!
Thanks, Tori.
Hey I'll see you later
in class.
Hey!
You didn't return my calls.
Just stopping by to make sure
you didn't burn down the joint.
Not at all. Still here!
Not burning!
So, is she living here?
Tori? No, not at all.
Your mother and I didn't
get this place you so
you can have all your
friends living here.
No... no, no, no, no, no.
We just...
I just had a little
gathering last night.
Paint...
Painting party.
Nice, you painted? Can I see?
Yeah. Soon! It's not done yet.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, so Tori just...
Yeah, she stayed over last night
'cause she wasn't feeling well.
Must be the paint fumes.
You know what? I think
you're right.
Yeah, I think it was
the fumes, yeah.
Man, do I have the
beer shits.
Hey Mr. Miller!
He stayed over, too cause...
fumes.
You know, Jack, we only expect
the best from you,
and anything less is, well,
less, and not acceptable.
Absolutely.
If we find out that you're
screwing up
or using this as a party house,
you can say goodbye to the
skate shop. The house. The car.
All of it. Understand?
You do want the skate shop,
right?
And the other stuff, too.
Good. That's my boy.
I'm your boy!
I'll call you later.
Awesome, Dad. Thanks!
Next time, answer my call.
Yeah.
Run a real business? I don't
think I'm ready for all that...
Jack, you've spent the last
four years getting ready.
Awe come on, Professor, there's
gotta be another way.
Look, I'll re-take my final.
Not an option.
I gotta be honest,
this whole semester it seemed
like you were coasting.
Your colon cancer awareness
campaign?
I thought we had a
good campaign.
"Got Anal?"
It was catchy.
Listen, the only reason I'm
offering you this
is that your father and I go
back pretty far
and he has a good mind
for business.
I thought you might, too.
Maybe that gene skipped me.
Or I'm adopted.
Frank, the manager, is taking
another job,
so it works out perfectly.
Look, I don't know shit
about car washes.
Run it for a week, show a
profit. Do that, you pass.
I would give my first
born child to caress that ass.
You would give up a tiny,
beautiful newborn baby?
I think I would.
So, does your Dad know that
you lost your job yet?
No.
Does he know your renting out
rooms to your friends
to pay for your rent?
No. Not at all, and get this.
I got a 24 on my Final.
Wow! That's
fantastically awful.
Just look at Tori for a sec.
That should make you
feel better.
No. I still feel like a loser.
Yeah, me too. I swore that
would work.
You know my Dad's deal, man.
All I have to do is just pass
my business classes
and he gives me the cash
for the skate shop.
Yeah. I know, you've been
talking about it for years.
But what if you opened it and
it bombed, dude?
Maybe just go work for him.
It'd probably be easier.
I don't know. My professor
made me an offer.
Blowjob? I mean,
I guess it's worth it and all if
you really want the grade...
No, dumbass, not a blowjob.
If I show him that I can run a
business, successfully,
for a week, he'll give me the
credit I need to pass.
What kind of business?
Car wash.
Shit.
It's Big Tony and Bobby Bullets.
Those are their real names?
Vex, my man, how the
hell are ya?
Yeah, Vex, how da fuck are ya?
Come on.
Aren't you guys from here?
Cause, you sound like you just
fell out of a Scorsese movie.
Hey I'll cut ya for that,
ya know!
No, Bobby, relax.
It really wasn't that bad of
a criticism, ya know?
He did say Scorsese!?
No, listen you ain't gotta be
from New York to be New York!
I think you do.
Ya know, Vex, Paulie is
awaiting his payment
and it's our job to collect.
I'll pay it back, guys. Relax.
Paulie ain't one for relaxing.
No. Paulie don't do that shit.
You know, Paulie, he prefers
to break people's arms.
And necks!
That don't make Paulie a
priority?
Ya see, Paulie lent you the
cash,
now it's your job to
pay it back.
Quite fucking simple.
And if that don't work out,
well...
things that are... attached to
your body, they start breaking.
This is very painful.
I told him I'd have it
this week.
You better! Or snap!?
End of da week, bitch! Or snap!
End of the week.
Yo, damn baby. You got a whole
lot of junk up in that trunk.
What do you say I pull up that
bumper and smack that...
Oph!
Let's get out of here, Tony!
Dude, it was a sure thing!
Famous last words.
So, what are we gonna do now?
You're gonna help me with
the car wash.
Sure! But hey, I don't work
for less than thirty bucks
an hour, you know?
A man's gotta have his
principles.
Ten bucks an hour.
Sweet! Fuck principles. I'm in.
Great.
Dude, we should hire Tori too!
Then we'd get some mad business!
Sure, yeah. Why don't we
just open a bikini car wash?
That's a brilliant idea.
That was a joke.
Think about it, man!
It can't miss!
We'd be printing money!
Vex, I'm not running a bikini
car wash, man. It's like, seedy.
But, highly profitable and
I can help.
Help? Dude, we got a hot chick!
Imagine her like soaping up
your car.
Maybe she winks at you, she
blows you a kiss.
You achieve wood. Perfect!
Absolutely, but there is more
than that to running a business.
-We got it all figured out,
Marvin.
You got the numbers
figured out?
Psh! Yeah, Jack's a numbers
whiz. Right?
We might need help with
the numbers.
It's not exactly the
kind of business
my Dad would be cool with,
you know?
And the Professor, I don't
think he wants me
turning his little car wash into
something out of a porno.
I'm so in.
Me, too!
Who said you can
join the team?
It'd be just like Senior Year,
when we ruled Liberty High.
It's a little different than
student government, bro.
Do you even remember
high school?
You know, considering you were
stoned half the time.
I think it was way more
than half.
It doesn't even matter. Look, I
didn't agree to this so...
But if you do, I can make sure
we actually make a profit,
which is the whole point,
correct?
Yeah, I mean I sure as shit
need the cash,
and Jack needs the grade.
Cool down guys, alright.
This is my mess, I make
the decisions!
So you're in, too! Nice!
No, I didn't say that!
Then what are your other
options?
You know, we got less
than a week
and you've got no money.
What else is there?
A lemonade stand?
C'mon. Let me hear your ideas.
I thought so. Think
about it, man!
The hot chicks! Sexy bikinis!
It can't miss!
There's no guarantee...
According to my calculations, it
would be a tremendous success.
I mean it would be nice
if it worked but...
We could run specials. Buy five
washes, get one free.
Theme days! Hot nurses!
And I'll do it for free.
Just help me get her.
Psh... Dude get in line,
alright?
Only a special kind of guy goes
balls deep with Tori.
Why don't you try with someone
like Amanda?
Amanda is totally into Tori.
Whatever, I just mean
someone more realistic, and less
Tori-ish.
My god. Wouldn't it be funny
if he lost Tori to a girl?
No! It would be uproarious.
It's just that, you guys always
get the girls, you know?
And I'm just, not.
I should be proud right now,
but I don't wanna think
about you alone in your room
next time I'm banging.
Come on, Jack, let's help this
bastard get laid.
Awe, dammit. I got myself into
this mess, didn't I?
Yup. But this could be
your chance.
Yo, my bro graduated with a
degree in engineering
and now he's flipping burgers.
It's shit out there, man.
Us millennials, we're screwed.
Look if you join the team,
I cannot guarantee you're
gonna land her.
Just guarantee that you'll try.
Remember the millennials.
Fuck it.
That's the spirit! Yeah!
Can one of you boys help rub
some oil on me?
So, Tori,
I've got a possible business
proposition for you.
What do you think of this blue?
I love it. Take off these
bottoms.
And they go good with
these, too.
What do you think about
this one?
That one's cute. I like the
polka dots.
This must be what Heaven
looks like.
I don't think there are girls in
bikinis in Heaven, Vex! Geez!
Hey Marvin, big favor.
Shut the fuck up!
Shutting up.
Guys, is this too skimpy?
Hell yeah!
For the record, this is gonna
be fucking awesome!
Holy shit, dude we got one!
Hey welcome. How can we
help you?
I want a car wash.
Kelly!
Hey, baby. Did you want the
standard wash, the premium,
or the 'Happy-Ending
Please-Cum-All-Over-Me Rubdown'?
I'll take the last one.
Please pull it... around.
And then you enter...
through the rear.
Yes, Ma'am!
Hi!
Hi! I'm sorry!
It's all good.
I've got plenty of life
to live but it's safe to say
that this will be the best
job I'll ever have!
No doubt, dude.
And with any luck, word of
mouth will spread.
Yeah, everyone is gonna know
about this bikini car wash.
Hey, guys!
Hey.
Brit! You totally missed the
grand opening
of Jack's bikini car wash!
That's 'cause I wasn't aware
Jack had started his own
business.
-It's no big deal. It's just
for my business class.
Yeah, and the whole
bikini aspect
is just a marketing thing.
Yeah, right!
The important thing is just
running the business.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. My bad.
So you have girls in bikinis
washing cars?
Yeah, Brit. It's a
bikini car wash.
You can't not have girls
in bikinis!
You know, Jack.
We're probably the only bikini
car wash in the whole zip code,
if not the whole fucking state.
We're pioneers, bro!
It's inspiring!
Wow. Just like Lewis & Clark.
Wait 'til the girls in my film
class hear about this.
No. I don't know about...
Can I be in it?
Yes!
You should totally put
me in it too.
People love looking at this
fucking face.
I'll start filming tomorrow.
Nah, nah...
You know, I'd...
I'd have to get permission and
there's forms to fill out...
Don't worry, Jack.
I'll just blur out the name
when I edit it.
No... Ya know, and the
customers...
Yeah, I'll just shoot around
them or blur them out, too.
Cool.
Great.
Hey.
Sorry.
Why? I'm just making a Pop Tart.
Okay. Sorry.
Amanda, stop apologizing.
I know, I know, I'm sor...
Hey, I'm sorry for blowing
you off last night.
I just have a lot going on.
Yeah, I totally understand.
My ex is just like... I mean,
look at this body.
Would you go anywhere else?
No, I wouldn't never go
anywhere else, ever.
Like... Like if I were him.
And my lips.
I mean, these are just the
perfect lips to kiss with.
Yeah, pretty perfect lips.
Yeah, yours are nice, too.
No! They're not.
Ya know, if you dressed a
little different,
more confident, and a
little sexier,
I think you'd get more
guys' attention.
Stop! What are you doing?
Let me see your stomach.
See? Perfect.
Whatever.
Anyways, thank you.
Your Pop Tart.
Yeah. Is it cool if I
crash with you?
The couch smells like
puke and chips.
Yeah!
I mean, yeah, sure. Whatever.
Cool. You're the best, Amanda.
Hey, guys. Just real quick,
while I've got ya, I just wanted
to thank, everyone, for today.
You guys were great, really.
I gotta run this thing
for a week,
so if you guys can help out
for a few more days,
that would be awesome.
I can't. I got an
internship.
My friend Mia might be
able to help.
She's super cute.
Super cute is a great quality.
I had fun, but I'm beat.
Well, ya know, once we actually
get a rhythm going,
I sure we can work more
efficiently, guys.
I've done some calculations,
and if we are busy as my numbers
suggest we may indeed be,
anyone working as a bikini
person could bring home
at least two hundred bucks
a day, maybe more,
depending on weather concerns
and of course, traffic.
Shut up, Marvin.
I did get some nice tips.
You know, the pizza place
is really flexible.
I can still be cashier.
I'm in. I don't mind
showing off my girls.
Your girls?
Whoo! Those girls.
I am a big fan of those girls.
But do the girls need to be
out at the moment?
Yes, they do. You wanna
touch 'em, Brit?
They're all natural.
Well, not really.
No, thanks, I'm good.
Yeah, maybe we could just,
ya know...
Sure thing, Jack. Don't want
to offend anyone.
You're not offending me,
you just don't need to
fling them around.
Okay, BRATtany.
Hey!
No fighting, girls,
unless it involves mud wresting
or nudity. Or both.
Hey, Jack, this is gonna
be awesome.
Aw, that feels so good.
You should become a masseuse,
not a lawyer.
I think that lawyers tend
to be more successful
than masseuses.
Read that in books.
Stupid book.
Okay, now it's time
for the front.
Yeah?
Ya know? You could just quit
all this stupid law business
and become a bikini girl.
My parents would love that.
Should I be jealous of you
hanging out
with these bikini girls?
Psh. No way.
I mean, it's not like
you and me are going out
or anything, right?
I like to keep it casual. But
if I was the jealous type...
That would be bad, wouldn't it?
I'm glad you're not the
jealous type.
I'm sorry, did that hurt?
I kinda liked it.
You freak.
Alright, well we've got some
interviews coming in today,
but I've gotta inventory
supplies with Marvin.
So, can you handle them?
No problemo.
Alright.
Be professional.
Obviously!
I'm gonna need to see you
in a bikini.
This better?
Yeah.
Even better?
Please tell your parents I said
Thank You.
Experience. Work history.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
What are your best assets?
Do these count?
Yeah. Those count.
Yeah, ya know.
Great resume. We'll call you.
Does that help your decision?
Fuck yeah. When can
you start?
How'd it go, man?
I miss anything?
Meh.
Holy...
Shit.
Hi.
Hi.
April told me about the job?
Here's my resume.
Yes. Yes, you heard right...
What are some of your
qualifications?
I'm an excellent customer
service provider,
and I'll do pretty much
anything to make sure
the customer is extremely
satisfied.
You're hired.
Vex, please.
Great.
Can you tell us about some of
the other positions you've held?
Positions?
I've been in a lot of
different positions.
Awesome!
What are some of your faves?
Are you flirting with me?
You're making me blush, honey.
No, no, no. He means jobs.
No, I meant positions.
I've had a lot of experience in
a lot of different positions.
And I'm very flexible.
Flexibility is a huge plus!
Here. Come on.
Most of the jobs I've had,
have been under the table.
As in...
No, Vex. Off the books, man.
I know what under the
table means.
Pfft. This guy...
Mia, look, wow. This... this all
sounds great, it does, really.
But see, I'm not solely looking
for sex appeal...
Well, I am!
Vex!
Did I mention that my
friend, Neil,
owns an exotic car dealership?
I'm sure I could persuade him
to bring his cars
here for washing and detailing.
Okay, now is she hired?
Welcome to the team, Mia!
Dave still own this joint?
Who's Dave?
Dave Dugan. Or as I like to
fondly refer to him, Dildo Dave.
Nobody really thinks that's
funny, Bobby.
I meant to tell ya that.
Like I give a flying fuck.
Some people call him,
The Professor.
That's because he's a professor.
Anyways, yeah, he owns
the space.
So you're the new manager of
this fine establishment?
Temporarily.
Good enough.
We'd like to wish you the best
of luck with your endeavor.
Cool, thanks.
I was being facetious.
I kinda like nerdy girls.
you're nowhere near
my type.
Enough, Bobby. We'd like to
make a withdrawal.
Of what? I don't understa...
Money, smart guy!
You fail outta college
or something?
Actually, that's kind of a
funny story...
No it ain't and we don't care!
We truly don't give anywhere
close to a shit
regarding your situation.
I'll make it simple.
Dildo Dave...
Yes!
The Professor
and all the local joints pay
us a small weekly fee,
and we make sure that nothing
bad happens to their businesses.
It's a car wash. What
could happen?
It could explode.
Yeah, it definitely
could explode.
Boom!
There's nothing explosive here.
Ya never know.
Actually, I do.
We're just here to offer
protection, that's all.
Yeah, I'm gonna call the police.
You put that stapler
near my face,
I'll break your boss' windpipe.
It's cool. It's cool, Amanda.
It's fine.
The money. Or I break
your nose,
then your hands, and something
else randomly.
How much?
The usual.
I don't know the usual!
Jack, today's numbers
look great!
I think the usual has
just increased.
How much did they get?
More than I wanted to part with.
How do we make it back?
Hard work.
I hate that idea. Any
other options?
Guys, you've gotta see this!
I hear your girls do a good job.
You did?
You heard right. What kind
of package would you like?
The works.
Four girls. Good choice.
I hope so.
Shit! This is awesome!
Hey, I told you, Mia was
a good hire!
Hey! Chill, man!
We need to be careful, alright?
This is high end here.
High end people have high end
friends, which means...
More Ferraris?
Yes, Vex. More Ferraris.
So be super careful.
Of course!
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Feet on
the ground please.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Hand Wash Only.
Hey, nice job.
I like this place.
Perhaps I'll recommend
my friends.
We definitely appreciate
referrals.
Hey, and next time...
let her climb on the hood.
I wanna be him when I grow up.
Hey, what's up Kell-bell?
Just wanted to ask
you something.
Shoot.
I think it would really help and
get us a lot of business
if we really pushed the envelope
on the sexiness thing.
I mean, I'll talk to Jack.
But I'm not sure how sexy
he'd want to go though.
I'm a really sexual person,
so I can be as sexual as
you want me to be.
Really...
cause ya know, I'm a pretty
sexual person myself...
Are you?
Well, yeah. I mean, Vex
does rhyme with...
I know what it rhymes with.
So show me, baby.
Hey, Marcy! Sara!
My little sisters got a
lemonade stand? Nice.
Buy some lemonade!
Hell, yeah!
I mean, heck yes. Please.
Jack, buddy, can you spot me?
Lemonades are on me.
Three bucks! And we can't break
anything over twenty.
Here you go.
Thanks! We made nine
dollars now!
Twelve, Sara.
We might sell other stuff, too,
in case people get sick of
lemonade.
Like orange juice! And milk!
Ew. Not milk, Sara, that's
disgusting.
But maybe orange juice.
And if you refer someone you get
a coupon for a free lemonade.
That's a pretty good deal.
Hey everyone!
I was gonna stop by today
for that rent check.
I got it right here,
so no need!
And the girls wanted to see what
their big brother is up to.
No we didn't.
Daddy said let's see what kind
of trouble you're getting into.
Marcy. Did you finish
painting?
Painting? Like Jack would
paint...
Wow, this is good lemonade!
Jack.
Yeah.
Your mother and I don't
appreciate you
trashing the house.
Not everyone gets an
opportunity like this.
Well, Jack did just start
a business.
A business? Really?
What is it?
It's not gonna be like that
business project you did
with the banana and the
donut is it...
"BanoNut"! That was
a tasty failure.
No. No, dad, it's nothing
like that.
I'm just...
just helping someone out.
It's no big deal.
It's only temporary.
I see. Is it a
real business?
Yeah. It is.
Daddy says the only way
to make money
is to be evil and ruthless.
Heartless!
No, he said ruthless.
You're an idiot.
Girls, that's enough.
I'm gonna stop by in a few days.
The house better be in good
shape... painted or not.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Let's get you girls some lunch!
But what if somebody
wants lemonade?
It'll be okay for a few minutes.
Good luck with your
business, girls!
Whoa, harsh.
Sorry, did I say too much in
front of your dad?
You were in a jam.
Yeah, you were totally jammed.
You should just tell him
the truth.
Truth? My parents don't
know shit about me.
And that's for their
own protection.
So I should tell him that
I might fail
the only class he wants
me to pass,
that I got fired from the job
I was supposed to keep
to pay rent and that I run
a bikini car wash?
The truth rocks. My opinion.
Maybe not all the truth.
But I have to admit this will
be great for the movie.
Built-in drama.
Just pass the popcorn!
Sorry. I get nervous in front of
the camera. Can we try again?
Yeah, I'll just keep rolling.
Okay. For real this time!
So, why I became a bikini
girl...
It's all about the Benjamins,
baby.
Kelly, this is my interview!
But I do love the Benjamins!
Making it rain, baby.
Making it rain. Whoa!
Make it rain on me, Vex!
Make it rain on me!
No! You're not involved
in the rain.
Sorry, I was just trying
to be funny.
Hey, dudes don't get rained.
Yeah. Yeah.
Making it rain!
Okay. Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
Let me just say that I am...
very drunk.
But, also, on Jack's behalf,
I just wanna say
that we are off to a really
good start, motherfuckers!
Cheers!
I need more drinks to drink?
I got rum.
I'll grab a glass!
My God! Grab me some!
I'd get these glasses, but I'm
a little buzzed at the moment.
Awe, you're so sweet!
Like a candy cane.
Actually, they're minty,
not really sweet.
Sweet to me would be like
a lollipop or...
Something with a higher
sugar content.
But, candy cane, nice! Thanks!
-Yay!
-Yay!
Tori... Can I ask you
a question?
Yeah, you just did, silly!
I got the rum!
O-M-G! This one guy was so
totally getting off
when I was washing
his windshield.
He even had it out.
Ew, it?
Yeah! That should be
extra, right?
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Alone?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm a little concerned.
I think there's a line
that you don't want to cross
with the car wash.
I mean, Kelly's nipples did
more washing than her hands.
Well that's part of
the deluxe wash.
Is it? I didn't know that.
Sure. Or you can go with just
the nipple wash by itself,
but it's a better value
if you go deluxe.
Now I see. Then the nips
are fine.
No, you're right. I'll
talk to them.
We shouldn't have the
nipples out.
Just looking out for you.
Just looking out for you, too.
I wouldn't want you falling down
and breaking that pretty
little a...
ca... camera.
Yeah, that'd be awful.
You know, you're doing a nice
job with the car wash,
even though I wasn't exactly
sold on it.
That makes two of us.
Seems like the girls are
into it, too.
And my film might actually turn
out better than I thought,
that is, if the girls in my
class don't steal my footage
and burn it.
That wouldn't be so bad,
would it?
Kidding. Kidding.
I'm sure you've probably
got enough
car wash footage,
though, right?
I could use more footage. Unless
you don't want me around.
No, no, no, no. That's not
what I meant. I... no.
I totally want you...
around. Around, you know
what I mean.
Then I'll be around.
Cool.
Hey, guys, am I interrupting?
Actually...
I need another beer.
Wow. Someone has a bug
up her ass.
Nope. I don't think she has
any bugs up her ass.
Or anywhere else.
You're the boss.
And a really good one.
Well. I don't know about that.
If wasn't for your creativity,
none of it would have worked.
I didn't really do
all that much.
Aw, you're being modest.
No, but, I was thinking that
maybe we should
tone down some of the
sexy stuff.
Why would we want to do that?
I mean, I want the business to
be successful, of course,
but you know just not
with all the nudity.
What's wrong with a
little... nudity?
Nothing, in the right context.
Is this the right context?
Yeah, sure.
But, ya know, the car wash isn't
really the place...
But, you know I'm all about
customer satisfaction.
Customer satisfaction
is critical.
Aw, Jack, you're blushing.
Am I? No.
Just. One. More. Button.
Jack, you can't feel a girl up
and leave her hanging.
It's not polite.
Am I right, Brit?
I didn't... I wasn't...
I wouldn't...
I'll see you guys tomorrow.
But, Brit, look. But,
we're celebrating.
Then celebrate. I'm tired.
You may want to put those away.
Yeah. I'm gonna go back
to the party.
That's what I'm talking about!
So all I was saying for is that,
we just need to be careful
about going too far.
But going too far is
too much fun.
Especially when Tori has
a few drinks in her!
Put on a show for us, Tori!
Go, Tori! Go, Tori! Go, Tori!
Is this going too far?
No!
Is this too much?
Keep going!
Hi.
You got the poor kid speechless!
Give him a lap dance!
Hell yeah!
Careful, Marvin. You might hurt
someone with that thing!
Come out. We're having
so much fun.
I'm tired. And you're drunk.
I'm not even that drunk.
Okay, maybe I'm a little
that drunk.
You're such a good friend.
Thanks, friend.
Yeah. You should be a
bikini girl.
I do not have the body for that.
What? Come here...
Tori, what are you doing?
Let me look at you.
Tori, what are you doing?
Tori, come on...
Tori!
You have really nice legs.
Tori, what are you doing?
Come on! Let me see you.
Tori, this is weird.
Tori?
Perfect. Wow.
Why aren't you seeing anyone?
Are you a good kisser?
I don't know. I haven't really
had much practice.
That's crazy. You're such
a cute girl.
Come on, lick your lips for me.
Again, but with more tongue.
Yeah, that was perfect.
Really, so good...
I love you so much.
Tori?
Tori? Tori?
Dammit.
Whoa, Tracy?
What the fuck?
Good morning to you, too.
What happened?
You don't remember?
Well, you were pretty drunk.
I came over after the party.
I guess I needed a booty call.
I don't...
Did we...?
Baby. You rocked my world.
I'm kidding, you passed out.
It seemed a bit rapey.
But, you're up now.
You're not up.
Aren't you supposed to get
morning wood or something?
No. Hey, hey, hey.
Tracy, look...
I'm sorry about this.
Your penis?
No. Not my penis. Look,
hey... I've had fun with you
and everything.
It's, there's someone else who...
Thank god.
I thought it was me.
I'm gonna go text Vex.
He seems like a
kinky motherfucker!
Wow.
Hey, Marvin.
Hey, Mia.
Could I ask you for some advice?
Yeah, sure, what's up?
Okay, I have this friend
who really likes this girl
and wants to ask her out. But
he's a bit apprehensive.
That's pretty normal.
Is he cute?
Well, I'm not sure how one
might categorize his appearance,
but let's just he's no
stud muffin.
Does he have a personality?
Is he funny?
Girls like funny. Funny can
be pretty hot.
Like, jokes? Or ventriloquism?
Put it this way, the guys
I date are cute,
but they're also funny. The last
guy I dated was about a seven,
but he had a great personality,
which made him a nine.
Gosh. I didn't know
girls rated guys.
Of course we do.
So, tell your "friend" that a
little humor goes a long way.
And good luck.
Well, hey, shit bag!
Bobby, easy.
Fellas. I got the dough.
Yeah, you better have!
What'd I do?
Ya never stop.
Stop what?
-You're like an earwig...
-An earwig?
Just nattering tete-tete-te,
day in, day out!
No, I...
You never shut up. I can't even
think when I'm around you!
But what the fuck is an earwig?
Forget it!
Here it is.
Yeah, five. We're good.
Damn. I was looking forward to
breaking both your arms
and beating you with them.
Pa-Paw!
Lucky prick.
Hey! Can I get
a receipt?
He...
This guy!
How 'bout this, I'll give ya a
"get the fuck outta here!"
That works!
What?
No, I'm trying not to talk.
Good.
But you know, I really don't
think I talk all that much
to begin with, and when I do,
it's because I got
something to say or to state my
opinion. And you know what,
given the freedoms we have
in this country
you could say what you want to...
God help me!
Hey!
-Hey, Marvin.
-Tori...
do you know how to spot a
blind guy at a nudist colony?
What?
It's not hard. Get it?
What's the difference between
love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing
and gargling!
That's disgusting. I gotta
get back to work.
Maybe it's my delivery.
What do you think Martin?
Vex! Stop bombing
Vanessa's shoot!
We got some nice shots, V.
Awesome, thank you!
So Jack, I have to thank you for
bringing me on at the car wash.
Bikini car wash.
Jack the exploiter.
He's so proud.
Come on, Brit. You know I'm
not trying to do that.
I'm just busting your stones.
Relax!
Really, no biggie.
Nobody's forcing us
to work there.
We're getting paid and it's fun.
And I could make a few bucks.
Maybe we're exploiting the
guys who are willing
to pay way too much to have
their cars washed.
You're preaching to
the choir, Vanessa!
Vex agrees with me?
Maybe I am wrong.
Forget everything I said.
I'll just upload these for you.
Thanks, Brit. You rock.
See you guys tomorrow.
See? Vanessa likes the
bikini car wash.
Shut it.
Hey, who's ready to go
in the pool?
No, no. No, Stop! Stop!
No! Don't...
Alright, ladies, so we're
offering detailing now.
So, just make sure to take
a look at
the new price list I handed out.
Plus we're offering
referral coupons.
These are really good
ideas, Jack.
Great. Marvin got us a
good deal on sealant,
so we can offer that now.
Try to get the customers
to upgrade, you know. It'll make
us, and you all, more money.
I like the sound of that!
We'll get them to upgrade!
sexy, not slutty.
I'm not changing anything.
We want to give the customers
a reason to come back, right?
Well, yeah, of course.
But Jack said...
Jack's doing this for his
stupid class.
He doesn't know what's best.
I think he's doing a
really nice job.
The customers will come back
for us, not for sealant.
Without us, there's nothing.
So let's give them a reason
to come back.
I'm screwed. Now they're working
together. What am I gonna do?
Just talk to her, man.
Ask her out.
I tried to tell her
some jokes...
Jokes? How'd that go?
It didn't. You guys were right.
She's in a league of her own.
Marvin, look, they're all in
leagues of their own, alright?
You just gotta figure out which
approach works best.
Easier said that done.
Think of it like a
computer program
you're trying to figure out.
Like coding?
Yes, exactly!
So, talking to a girl is like
building a website?
Okay, fuck the coding thing.
Look, just talk to her.
Ask her out.
Okay. But, what if
she says no?
Marvin, look, if she says
"yes" then great.
If not, then just move on
to someone else.
Alright? Cause look, Marvin,
you're a smart motherfucker
and some chicks, they dig
smart motherfuckers.
Yeah... I am a smart
motherfucker!
Damn right you are!
I got this!
Damn right you do! Yeah.
So, do you think he really has
a chance with Tori?
He needed a boost.
I'm just afraid he'll get his
hopes up, you know?
Yeah. But, I mean, you know,
what else should he do?
Nothing? I mean, in high school,
I wasn't all that smooth
remember? It was Vex that gave
me the boost I needed.
Megan Tucci, I remember.
But she said "no."
Yup. But it made it easier
to ask out the next girl.
Who also said "no."
No, she said "Hell no!"
But eventually, one said yes.
I like that. You really
want to help him.
I'll admit, it's kinda sexy.
You think?
Just one second.
Bikini... Car Wash.
Thank you for calling.
Jack! Keeping busy?
Very! Actually.
Really?
Just... making a few twerks,
tweaks!
Makin-Just trying to jump-start
business! That's all.
Terrific! I'm interested in
hearing about these tweaks.
I'm sure you'll be
impressed! Okay, bye.
I'm screwed.
Pretty much.
Hi.
Hi, Marvin.
Did you wanna ask me something?
Or, are you just gonna stare
at me all day?
Yeah! I was... Are you
busy, like, later?
Don't know. Depends. Why?
Well, I was wondering if
you wanted to
go out with me or something?
Me? Go out with you?
Yeah. I know I'm not the
typical kind of guy you go for,
but I am a nice guy.
And I'm fun as hell.
Anyway, I'm not gonna beg.
There are lots of girls
in the world who'd love to go
out with me, but I'm asking you.
I'll think about it.
Hey.
Woo!
What happened?
She said she'll think about it!
I am so glad Jack pumped me up.
By the way, why aren't you and
Jack together?
Don't mean to pry.
I don't know. I mean,
we've always just been friends.
I don't think he's into me
like that.
All guys are into girls
like that.
It's a well-known fact, you see.
Are you the dating
expert now?
Well, I've researched the dating
scene ever since I hit puberty.
And just because I'm normally
scared of the opposite sex,
I've learned quite a few things
regarding relationships,
at least in theory.
In theory...
I've got the charts to prove it.
Bye! Come back soon!
See, you're a natural.
Shut up.
Guess who just asked me out?
Marvin?
Yeah! It's a good idea, getting
back at my ex, don't you think,
going out with a guy
like Marvin?
Your ex was a real asshole.
Amanda!
What! I just meant for
cheating on you.
I know, he's pretty dumb.
Well, you should hang out
with us, too.
Hey, Mia said you wanted
to talk?
Yeah. I need you to
tone things down.
Alright, but Vex said
it was okay.
Vex? Look, he's not running
this thing. I am, okay?
If you can't follow the rules,
I won't be able to have you on
for the last few days of this.
I'm doing it because of my girl.
Because you're getting
breast implants?
No, not those girls. My
daughter. Her dad is a deadbeat.
I had no idea. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Look, everyone has stuff
going on. Alright?
Just play it cool, you know.
Don't cross the line. Alright?
I've got a lot riding on this,
I just don't wanna blow it.
Okay?
Thank you.
Hey, bro! Want a sammy?
You told the girls it was okay
to sex it up out there?
You know I didn't want
that, man.
My grade and everything is
on the line here.
It was Kelly's idea, really.
When did you talk to her
about it?
I don't know. You know,
the other night.
Before or after you had sex?
I didn't say we had sex.
Before.
I mean, I was stressed
about cash.
And Marvin said sex lowers
your blood pressure,
so that's why I did it, you
know. For health reasons.
You had sex with her
for your health?
Yeah?
And you're blaming Marvin now?
Vex. I am supposed to be in
charge here, man.
You went behind my back.
Well I didn't think it was
that big a deal!
You're not gonna can me, are ya?
I don't know, man. I gotta
think about it.
Stupid fucking penis!
-Hey!
-Hey!
So, did you fire, Vex? He's
refusing to get drunk.
No, that'd be pretty ruthless.
Or is it heartless?
Not sure. Ask your sisters.
So, does the inventor of
Easy-Corn think running
a business is harder then
he thought it'd be?
First of all, Easy-Corn could
be a hit, if marketed well.
Dude, it's corn, in a baggy!
It's the perfect snack! Come on.
And now, a bikini car wash.
My ideas are just ahead
of their time.
Sure, that's what it is.
My Dad's gonna kill me.
Probably. But, fuck it, ya know?
You're not your dad.
And, I didn't think the bikini
car wash was the best plan.
But you know what? It works
and it's helping everyone.
Yeah, and it saved Vex from
getting his legs broken.
Can Vex be saved?
It's weird, and I never thought
I'd say it, Easy-Corn,
but your bikini car wash is
actually doing some good.
Girls in my class would kill
me for saying that.
Well, look. If they do, just
make sure you film it.
You think she's with her ex?
Yeah. Probably.
She say anything about
going out with me?
No.
Why do we like her? Is she
even our type?
Is it just because she's hot?
If she went for me,
it would only be temporary.
I know that.
I even calculated the chance
that she was actually into me
and it is infinitesimally small.
I probably have the
same chance.
No. I calculated yours, too.
It was marginally higher.
And how did you calculate that,
exactly?
Charts and graphs mainly.
It's very complicated.
I didn't know she's into
girls, too.
But I can't say
I blame her
You look magnificent
in a bikini.
No, that must be the
booze talking.
Nope. I have a very high
alcohol tolerance.
Well, it was fun, but it's
just not really my thing.
Just did it for her.
Dumb, right?
Not at all. I don't dress up
nice for just anyone,
except for like a prom date or
something like that you know...
You know, I think a nice shirt
is a lot different than
a bikini, Marvin.
Yeah, I guess. You look
fantastic now, too.
Not just in a bikini. I just
never noticed before.
Not sure why.
If I were Tori, I'd totally
be into you.
If I were her...
Tor... I'm gonna...
Hey.
Looked like you were having fun.
No, it was nothing.
Where were you?
My ex's. He's such an ass.
I told him that Marvin
asked me out
and he just got all mad.
But it's whatever.
Come here.
I really love this dress on you.
Thank you.
I told you that you had
really nice legs.
You feel nice, baby.
Are you drunk already?
A teeny bit.
Come on, I thought you
were having fun...
Yeah, it was fun, but I just
don't think you're my type.
Where were we?
Well... we were sitting
on the couch.
And there was kissing.
Like that?
I-ffirmative.
But what about Tori?
She's not our type.
Hey, Brittany.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry if I was mopey
and lame last night.
You were mopey. And super lame.
And well, I thought about
what you said the other day...
and I gotta come clean to my
Dad and the professor.
It's really my only option.
You're gonna have to
let me film that.
So, Jack, what makes a
successful business?
Hard work, good work
ethic. Hard work...
You said that already!
Yo, Jack. Hey, bro. Do
you got a sec?
Sure.
So, I just want to say
that...
I'm sorry for going behind
your back.
You know, I really do want this
to succeed. And not just for me,
and the fact that I can
basically
like look at boobies all day.
But because you're my best
friend, ya know. And...
I think you're a kick-ass boss.
Thanks, man.
You just don't want to be
kicked out of the house.
Yeah, that, too...
And the boobies.
Sorry about that.
It's cool, but I do have to
tell you something.
Okay, shoot.
What the hell, man!
I paid my debt!
I'm not here for your debt.
I quit Paulie's gang.
But I'm out of money, so
I'm here to take yours.
Where do you keep
the cash, bitch?
Dude, we just made a deposit.
Bullshit!
Dude, why don't you just like
rob a gas station or something.
I know yous guys gots it
here somewhere!
We ain'ts gots no money, man.
Alright that's bullshit, and
don't make fun of my accent!
You should never quit a job
without a back-up plan.
This is my back-up plan!
Not a very good one.
Even a retail job will
be something.
Yeah, like a stock boy
or something.
Yeah. Except you do have
to work holidays.
True, and the customers are...
I'm not working fucking retail!
They're just trying
to help, man.
You shut your mouth, dickbag!
Why didn't you yell at them
when they suggested retail?
It was your condescending tone,
you freaking dweeb!
I wasn't condescending!
Fine, they fired me.
Alright. Ya happy?
They said I was being
too temperamental.
Which is bullshit, I mean,
yeah, I like to kick shit
and blow things up every
once in a while.
But considering my upbringing,
I'm pretty fucking low-key!
Low-key?
Alright, that's it.
Wait a second there mister!
Bitch, I will kick your ass!
You should work retail!
NOOOO!
Okay, enough!
Now, listen you spaghetti-loving
ass, this is Jack's business,
not yours. So the money he
makes is his, got it?
Got it...
No! Please don't slap me!
I swear to god I'ma leave
him alone! I promise I won't...
What the hell?
Man, that was close. Whoo...
My balls are on fire.
You were pretty good, Bobby.
It felt good. I thought maybe
the middle was bit much.
No, it was just right.
Hey, guys! Guys!
Wh-what's going on?
they hurt.
Bobby is in my theater class.
And this was my improv final.
It felt pretty good.
You get it all?
Yeah, got it.
I can actually taste the pain.
So, you're not a mobster guy?
Well, it got a little bit on the
side. I'd rather be an actor.
I'm trying to get out of the
mob biz. Big Tony though?
Woof... He's the real deal.
He scares me, honestly.
Well, you scared us.
Aw, thanks. It's a compliment.
Truly is.
Can I make it up to you though?
I feel terrible.
Honestly. Yeah, and your
balls dude...
Two things. Number one.
Get Paulie off of our ass.
I'll see what I can do. I can't
promise anything,
but some guys just did open a
strip club next to his bar,
so they're gonna want us to
offer some "protection."
Yeah, it could "explode".
You never know.
Yeah.
What's the second thing?
That was a pretty good
freakin' idea.
Exploiting both sexes?
Very smart.
It's just balance.
Like adding orange juice
to a lemonade stand.
Vex, suit up.
Yes, sir!
Hello!
-Hey!
-Hey.
You were pretty brave with
that mob guy.
You mean the part-time
mob guy student actor
playing a stereo-typical
mob guy?
You didn't know that
at the time.
It wasn't a big deal.
So, you and Amanda?
Yeah.
Would you ever have gone
out with me anyway?
Marvin, trust me, you don't
need the drama.
Besides, you guys make a
really cute couple.
Just, don't tell her any jokes.
Deal! And how about you?
My ex wanted to get back
together... I said "no thanks."
He's not my type.
And you're gonna be okay?
Yeah, I just need to be alone
for a while, you know.
Maybe like a day or two.
I'll figure out the rest.
So, how fast does
this thing go?
0 to 69
in ten seconds flat!
Shit...
Paint my ass.
Unbelievable.
Wait till his mother sees
this shit.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Made it into a god damn
dormitory!
Kelly! You can't do that! He's
an old guy, you could kill him.
I'm fine!
Jack, c'mon. Wait 'til you
see the tip I get!
Look, I know you're doing this
for your daughter and all,
but this is not how I want
my business to run.
Did you actually
believe me?
So you lied?
Come on, Jack, don't
be such a prude.
You need me shaking my ass
at the customers,
because that's what
makes them happy.
She's right!
Red alert, Jack!
Your Dad is here!
Fuck!
Jack!
There's no Jack
working here.
Never has been. Thank you,
come again.
Jack...
Dad!
Don't "Dad!" Me! What the
hell is going on?
This is the business?
It's just, ya know...
And I was at the house, too.
Hey. My car is still
very dirty.
One second, Dad.
We're gonna need another
bikini girl.
Kelly, you can flag cars.
But Jack...
It's either that or nothing.
I'll flag.
So how'd you know I was here?
Shit!
I can explain, Professor.
Please do.
I'm just trying to figure out
where to begin.
You lost your job, so instead
of finding something else
you had some students rent some
rooms to cover your rent.
Yeah, but I can get them to
leave if that's what you want.
But just so you know, they're
not just random students,
they're actually my friends.
Yo, Ferrari Guy is on the phone.
He wants another wash
and he's got all these buddies
at a Car Club.
They want a wash, too.
Talk about this later. Please.
So, am I getting a car wash
today?
Hallelujah!
Your housing situation, that's
one thing. But this?
How did you end up here?
You said you were doing well.
Dad. I failed my Business Final,
and I didn't do so well on a
couple of other projects.
Can I just say though, that the
chocolate-covered sausage
may not be for everyone, but
I thought it was inspired.
Thanks, Brit.
Jack, I gave you a chance. I did
it for your dad. And this?
This is what you did with it?
A bikini car wash?
I'm sure you can understand the
professor's concerns, Jack.
Yeah, he looks pretty pissed.
He is. This isn't what
I had in mind.
I analyzed your sales history
and this week we brought
in more money than your last
three months combined.
That's gotta count for
something.
Hey, I just gotta say.
This is easily
the best job I've ever had. I
usually wanna quit after like,
two minutes, but it's not
like that here.
Yeah, and I was able to pay
for classes
so I could continue
going to school.
And I got the best
car wash ever!
And I... got laid.
Which is a miracle, honestly,
but probably not the best time
for that announcement buddy.
Admittedly,
it does look like they
kicked up the sales a notch.
Sales are impressive, but using
bikinis and what not...
It's called marketing, sir.
Plus, I mean, you never said we
couldn't do it this way. Right?
Is that Bobby...?
Hey, Dildo Dave!
Bobby Bullets... Yeah,
he works here now.
And by the way, Jack was able
to stop the extortion
that was going on here from
those mob weirdos
that you somehow failed
to mention.
Imagine the headlines
if one of your students was
hurt because of that?
I didn't know they
were due this week.
Regardless, they wont be
bothering you any longer.
'Cause Jack handled it.
We handled it.
Considering none of us
knew anything about running
a car wash, I'd say we
kicked ass.
I know that some of my
projects this semester
may have been lacking...
Hey! Long live "BanoNut"!
But you know,
I'd have to say that this should
be considered a success.
So, if this doesn't work out,
maybe I'll open up my own
little bikini car wash,
and I'll bring all my
friends with me.
That's my boss!
A+?
Not quite, but it'll be good
enough for you to barely pass.
Yes! I barely passed!
So that's what we're paying
for college for?
So you can barely pass?
No, Dad. No. No. No...
I took on a challenge and
we made it work.
That was the assignment.
Grades are just
letters and numbers.
But this place...
To me, this... this is what
defines success or not.
And the fact that we have
shitloads of customers here
and more on the way, I think
that speaks for itself.
Boy. I'm gonna have to sell
this to your mother, you know.
Can I film that?
-No!
-No!
So, that's it. Your extra credit
is done. You guys can go.
But we've... we've got
more cars coming.
Yeah, Car Club folks.
And tons more later
this afternoon.
Well, we wouldn't want to lose
business now, would we?
Alright we got a big order
coming in, guys.
All hands on deck.
Kelly, too. We're gonna
need her.
Jack, I like that you rose
to the challenge.
You know what impressed me?
When you didn't fire that gal.
That would've been the
easier way out.
She's a hard worker, just
needs a little guidance.
Don't we all.
So, I wanted to ask
you something.
No, Jack. I am not gonna join
the bikini girl car wash.
Are you sure? 'Cause there's
a hot pink bikini out there
somewhere with your name on it.
No, I was just thinking that
maybe if you weren't,
you know...
Will you go out with me?
Like a date?
Exactly like a date.
I don't know if I can go out
with the subject of my film.
I thought you were just
filming that
for all your feminist friends
so they can hunt me down.
When I started, it was
about college life,
but then it changed. I decided
to make it about...
Hey! We got another Ferrari
coming in!
We could use some help, bro.
You.
The story of a dorky, but
kinda cute guy
trying to open a business,
and making it work.
"Cute?"
I guess.
Whoa!
Hey, maybe we can use Easy-Corn
in your film.
A little product placement,
ya know.
No.
No? Okay.
So that's how I
started my business.
Our business,
'cause it's not just me.
It's these awesome people around
me that made it work.
And yeah, the bikinis help.
So, what's the secret to
running a successful business?
Hard work and determination.
And boobies!
Shake that booty, shake, shake
that booty. Yeah, yeah.
Tenacity!
And Balls.
And accurate calculations...
The girls!
Another secret to a
successful business?
Easy-Corn, BanoNut,
Corn-a-Macabre.
Gag!
The threat of violence.
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!
Running a business takes
a lot of things,
but principally... honesty.
Self confidence.
Trust.
How about the guns?
probably... me!
Tori... I swear to God...
she digs me!
Wait, what was the question?
You know my answer.
it starts with a "B"...
Oooh... Dedication, probably.
What is that?
Martin wants to answer the
questions too!
Focus!
And guts!
And it rhymes with "newbies"
It's all about the Benjamins,
baby!
As stated in my class, fifty
percent of small businesses
fail on their first year.
And with these three monkeys
running it...
it'll definitely fall
in that category.
Wait, what's YOUR answer, Brit?
Hey, I'm the interviewer here!
No you don't!