Along Came a Nanny (2014) Movie Script
There's the mayor.
Let's see what she has to say
this time.
Sixth robbery in two months?
Imagine if this wasn't
a "safe and sound" community.
I promise you, mayor danielson,
we're doing everything we can
to get to the bottom of this.
Do you know what?
My nanny could've
cracked this case faster.
Well, maybe we should
put her on the force.
Do you know how
embarrassing this is?
I live here!
Every day, I have to
reassure my neighbors
the police are "this close"
to finding the perpetrator.
And now this.
Poor jim donahoe in the i.c.u.
with severe head trauma.
Well, at least his wife
was out of town,
escaped injury.
Gotta be grateful for that.
I am.
But when people
start getting hurt,
that's a line in the sand,
and you know that.
You also know
what a tough re-election
campaign I'm fighting,
getting tougher by the robbery.
Captain milano, I want...
...need you
to escalate this case.
Whatever it takes.
And I'm talking yesterday.
First, a reminder
that our good buddy
and colleague,
griff hoolahan,
will be retiring next week
after 37 outstanding years
of service.
37 years!
That's amazing!
Griff's exit opens up
the new lead slot
on the poplar point
investigation,
which, due to the increase
in violence,
is now the number-one priority
for mayor danielson
and this department.
Losing griff also opens up
a level-two position here
in robbery.
In plain english... a promotion.
What're you looking at, logan?
The only upgrade you'll be
getting is on a rent-a-car.
Rosario?
Captain, I'm about wrapped up on
the third street case, so...
And just let me say,
great work, detective.
Thank you, sir.
As a result, I could
jump right into poplar point.
If you agree.
Sir.
- What a kiss-up.
Did you say something,
detective?
Just, um...
how terrific it is
for the precinct
that detective ramos so capably
closed in on third street, sir.
She looks good, we look good.
Detective ramos, see me
in my office in five minutes.
The rest of you, back to work.
How do you like that?
They got this
great new invention...
It's called "knocking."
I gotta be on poplar point.
Not a chance.
Give me one good reason.
I can give you six!
One for each robbery,
plus a victim still in i.c.u.
is he gonna make it?
It's touch-and-go.
Last report, he was
still unconscious.
Ouch!
- Exactly.
Do you know what the mayor said
to me today?
Her nanny
could've solved the case faster.
Double ouch.
I don't think
she even has a nanny.
That's it!
I gotta go undercover.
As a nanny.
"Manny." whatever.
To get in there
and infiltrate poplar point.
Well, hoolahan's already
ruled out an inside job.
All due respect,
hoolahan has had one foot out
the door for, like, months on...
What you need is somebody
that's hungry and committed
to bust through this.
That's why
I'm putting ramos on it.
I do like
the undercover nanny bit.
It's inventive.
I know!
I thought of it!
Well, even a broken clock
is right twice a day, logan.
Now, if you'll just...
- no.
Captain, you're not...
You're not hearing me.
I thought of this.
This is my idea, my case.
I deserve this.
Ramos deserves it
for cracking third street!
Frankly, logan,
you're just a little too...
Inventive?
- Impulsive!
You can't just
jump in half-baked.
Not with the mayor
breathing down our necks.
Your neck, which is exactly what
I'm trying to help save here.
Okay.
What do you know about kids?
Aside from how to avoid
having any of your own.
I am just waiting
for miss right,
and I know plenty about kids.
I grew up with four
younger brothers and sisters.
I helped my parents out
with them, like, all the time!
I just need a little brush-up
on the basics,
and I will be...
...good to go.
That's ramos.
Captain, I want this!
I want to
protect that neighborhood.
I want to put that thief
behind bars.
I want to get the mayor
back on our team!
There's an employment agency
that fronts us
on cases like this.
They'll put you
in their system...
and we'll go from there.
You will not regret this.
Ramos.
I love the vest.
Okay...
"always utilize currencies
important to your child
to incentify
appropriate behavior."
Makes sense.
"Never utilize currencies
important to your child
to incentify
appropriate behavior."
"Don't overestimate
your child's apparent problem."
"Don't underestimate
your child's apparent problem."
Or...
just flip a coin.
Iogan!
Just heard from
the employment agency.
You're in luck.
Couple from poplar point,
pair of lawyers,
just lost their nanny.
They need a new one a.s.a.p.
Later, calvin.
Later.
And they're okay
with a male nanny?
Well, the last one was a woman,
and that didn't work out,
so, yeah, they're open,
and they have a son,
so a "manny" could be a plus.
What happened
with their last nanny?
How would I know?
Just go and meet these people
tomorrow morning first thing,
make 'em like you.
Tall order, I know.
Hoolahan's notes on the case.
Don't forget these.
Keys?
For what?
Your new vehicle.
Our treat.
The chicks are gonna love this.
Well, at least
I'll have an excuse
for being dateless.
What's yours?
Best "manny" ever!
Who are you?
Hi! I'm mike.
Who are you?
I'm not allowed
to talk to strangers.
You could be the robber.
Well, I promise,
I'm not the robber.
Is your mommy or daddy home?
Ava, I told you...
No opening the door by yourself.
You must be mike.
Hi. Lizzie bannerman.
Hi.
Sorry. We've all been a little
on-edge since the robberies.
Well, I'm here
to serve and protect.
Figuratively speaking.
Please, come on in.
And I apologize in advance
for the mess.
I need you
to finish your breakfast
and get ready for school.
No. Yeah... no.
It's...
agnes edwards. Yes.
Lethbridge, minnesota.
No, don't go in there.
...i'll talk to you
in a few minutes. Okay. Bye-bye.
Here you go.
- Okay, thanks, babe. Alright.
Yeah. No.
I got that, too.
Hi. Kevin bannerman.
Listen, I am
crazy late for court,
but lizzie'll talk to you.
Thanks for stopping by.
Alright.
Alright, kids, we gotta hurry.
Bus is gonna be here
in two minutes.
Mommy, I don't like my pigtails.
Mom, my stomach hurts.
I should probably stay home.
Ava, your pigtails
look fantastic.
Iucas, honey,
you can't have
a stomach ache every day.
When you get to school,
if you still don't feel well,
just give me a call and then...
No, I'm gonna be
in depositions all day long.
Call mike here, and...
What's your number?
Do I have the job?
The agency did
their background checks,
said you were the best,
so, yeah.
Okay. It's okay.
Did my pancakes die?
Okay, that's okay, honey.
Just grab a scone.
Chester...
Chester!
Step away from the pancakes!
Let's just give it a try,
shall we?
Okay, guys.
Let's go. Let's go.
We're gonna just...
gosh.
Um...
I'm sorry, mike,
but could I ask you to tidy up
around here a little bit?
Your mess is, is my mess.
I got it covered.
Thanks a million.
Our cellphone numbers
are on the fridge, and...
We'll see you later.
Don't forget...
Doors locked at all times.
Got it.
Okay.
Alright, guys!
Let's go.
Have a great day, bannermans!
Really?
Hello!
Hello, ladies. Hi.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm mike logan,
I'm the bannermans' new
nanny... "manny."
Or whatever.
Just happy to be on board.
And you are?
Mariah kingsley.
"miss" mariah kingsley.
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you...
Miss mariah kingsley.
- Gloria mueller.
Been a nanny longer
than you've been alive.
Longer than most people
have been alive.
And the third musketeer is?
Jessie white.
I work for
the warners across the street.
Great. We're neighbors.
Nice to meet you.
Warmin' up for something big?
Just getting my steps in.
12,000 today,
that's almost 6 miles.
Wow, that's very ambitious.
You must be in great shape.
What do you do
for exercise, mike?
Besides working out
your pick-up lines?
I will race you any day, jessie.
Okay.
So, I guess it's
been a little bit
scary here lately, right?
With all the break-ins?
What's scary is they didn't
catch the son-of-a-gun
after the first five robberies.
Now violence.
Loser cops.
There's more chance one of us
could catch the guy.
You guys seen anything
or anyone, you know, weird?
You know, come to think of it,
there was that strange guy
hanging around lately.
We should probably
look out for him.
Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
He's about 6'2",
brown hair, blue eyes.
Drives a red van,
calls himself "mike."
Just a little new-nanny humor.
Good luck, mike!
Thanks.
Wait up!
- Keep up!
That's a lot of pink.
Chester, chester...
off!
Bad dog.
Ioretta's head fell off.
Can you sew it back on, please?
You want me to sew?
Like, now?
Okay-okay-okay-okay!
I'll sew. I'll sew.
Did you hurt loretta?
No, ava, loretta is just fine.
Kids, the bus just drove away.
Didn't you hear the horn?
This guy hasn't even
made breakfast. Or lunch.
It's...
Getting there.
Well, this is...
interesting.
That is a work in progress.
Sorry about that.
And don't worry about the bus,
I will... I will take
the kids to school.
In that mary poppins-mobile?
No way!
My gosh, I love mary poppins.
Chim-chiminey
chim-chiminey
chim-chim-cher-oo
morning, troops.
Hey, shouldn't you guys
be on the bus?
Mike messed up.
But he's driving us
so he doesn't get fired.
Kids!
Yeah. Lucas?
What say me and you
shoot some basketball
this weekend, huh?
Get you ready for tryouts?
Basketball? Really?
Because you're looking
at one of the sport's
secret weapons, right here.
Well, maybe you should
coach lucas. You know?
He really wants to
be on the team.
No, I don't.
Basketball's stupid.
Okay, let's just get to school.
We can argue about sports later.
Mike.
Can you cook up
a tofu stir-fry for dinner?
Everything you need's
in the fridge.
You got it.
Thank you.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Bye, kids!
This... is pathetic.
See? On time after all.
Just like the bus.
Only because
the bus driver makes,
like, a million stops.
You drive like an old lady.
Hey... "lucas puke-us."
Don't even think about
joining basketball.
Loser.
Everything okay here, bud?
Yeah... great.
See ya.
Morning.
- Hi!
- Hi. Jessie, right?
Yeah.
is that... do you...
do you have peanut butter
in your hair?
yeah, this is...
very good conditioner.
You should try it sometime.
Bye!
- Bye! - Bye, guys.
- Bye.
You, missed the bus, too,
this morning?
Yeah, slight
breakfast malfunction.
Those two are pretty close.
Yeah, yeah.
They are playdate pals.
You know, they're neighbors,
so it's easy.
Are the neighbors
all pretty close?
Yeah. Some. Some are.
You know, some keep
to themselves.
Honestly, a lot of people
have clammed up
since the robberies.
Hey, we should get the girls
together for a playdate
after school today,
maybe go to the park
or something.
I can't.
That's baby's nap time.
The baby?
They baby's a baby!
He can sleep anywhere.
It's a she,
and I'm pretty sure
that even you
know that that is not true.
Besides, I... I've got to study.
Study for what?
I'm getting my master's degree
in child psychology.
Okay, that's scary.
Why? You worried you're gonna
be my first client?
No. I mean, how do you
possibly find time
to go to school with...
...all this?
Well, I take classes online,
so that helps.
And besides,
you know what they say...
If you want something done,
just ask a busy person to do it.
Exactly! Which is why
a super-multitasker
like yourself
should be able to squeeze in
a little playdate.
You knit, too?
What don't you do?
It's, it's not knitting,
it's crocheting.
I love it.
Totally relaxes me.
I'm making a blanket
a blanket for carly.
Very cool.
Lucky baby.
So, where did you work
before poplar point?
Downtown.
I mean, for a family
that used to live downtown.
One of those fancy lofts.
But they moved.
Far away. To canada.
But I didn't.
You know. Move.
How long you been
with the warners?
Coming up
on a year. In august.
Yeah, I adore mrs. Warner.
She's a... she's a great mom.
And mr. Warner?
He's a good dad.
He's a workaholic.
You know the "tires
on the go" stores?
Those are his.
Whoa! He must do pretty well.
Hey, what did you mean earlier,
when you said everyone's
"clammed up"
since the robberies?
Just that people
are looking over
their shoulders more.
Do they think that
someone around poplar point
is the burglar?
Maybe. Yeah.
Although I heard that
the police don't think so.
Do you think so?
If I had to guess?
Yeah.
Don't listen to me, though.
I'm just an amateur
sleuth at heart.
Really? Me too.
Especially the "amateur" part.
Ha-hah!
Can I have a juice box?
A juice box?
mike, where's your stuff?
My stuff?
Yeah. All your kid stuff.
I really want a juice box!
I got one.
Okay.
There you go.
- There's your juice box.
Want one?
Can you open it?
Yeah.
The straw goes
in the little hole on top.
Worst nanny ever.
There's a little
hole right there.
There's a lot of pressure
in these things.
My last kids, they were...
They were a little bit...
They were a little bit older,
they were past the whole
juice box thing.
You're a weird nanny,
you know that?
Okay.
Wanna play "princess"?
Yeah!
Just give me a few
minutes, okay?
Okay.
- Okay.
Whoa.
Purple is not your friend.
Shh, shh, shh!
I'm playing with the kid, man.
Calvin,
you are such a life-saver.
You better get down with
the cooking thing, bro,
or you are toast.
No pun intended.
I know. I'm on it.
Just a lot going on.
Mike! Come on!
I'll be right there!
Yeah? What are
you finding out?
Aside from how to grant wishes?
That I got to get these people
to start talking,
but first, they got to eat.
Thanks again, man.
Classic.
Mike!
That looks gorgeous.
Just a little something
I whipped up.
Although I don't remember
leaving you peppercorns
to add in.
What is that?
Black bean sauce?
Yeah, I just, put my own
little personal spin on it.
Don't wait for me, though.
Please, everybody, dig in.
Mike and I played
"princess" today.
You did?
Wow!
Mike, did you know that ava
wants to play the princess
in the class production...
...of sleeping beauty?
- What?
Could you help me
rehearse for it?
Absolutely!
As long as I have time
to practice b-ball
with the luke-man.
Would you let it go?
Nope. Ava's gonna
be in the play,
and you are gonna make
the basketball team.
Now eat your tofu.
This is great, mike.
It's as good as they make
at panda kitchen.
Well, that's the last of 'em.
I could've got those.
Please, you're doing
enough around here.
Besides, I still have
three hours of case work
to finish tonight,
so I'm kind of stalling.
Do you like being a lawyer?
I like the law.
I like bringing the guilty
to justice.
Exactly!
I mean...
So you must have some idea of
who's breaking in around here.
Not really.
But if I've learned one thing
as a lawyer,
it's that most answers
are hiding right in plain sight.
Which can also make them
the hardest to see.
That reminds me...
Be sure to set the alarm
anytime you leave the house.
Something tells me this burglar
isn't finished
with poplar point.
Honestly? I've even taken
pictures of all my jewelry,
just in case.
I promise, the alarm will be
set at all times.
I'm gonna hold you to that.
'Kay.
...gets a juice box from me,
can't open the thing,
looks at it like
he's never seen one before...
What?
He's fumbling with it,
it's going everywhere...
He's coming up right now.
Don't stop talking
on my account.
We were talking about you.
Aww! I'm flattered.
Don't be.
I was telling them
about your battle
with the juice box.
Yeah, well, I can't be
good at everything.
What are you good at?
Well, I can play
the song "chopsticks"
with chopsticks.
I think I'd rather
see you open a box of juice.
Yeah, me too.
Well, bring it on.
- Alright.
I'm serious!
Alright, me too.
10 seconds.
Go.
10 seconds?
I got this.
This is easy.
Has the clock started?
This is... this is...
This is fixed!
Go, mikey. Go, mikey!
Tick-tock.
This is the tricky part!
Come on!
- Time's ticking.
Who's your daddy?
Okay, it's a juice box,
it's not the super bowl.
See you later, jess.
- Bye, guys.
Hey, mr. Warner!
You home for lunch?
Nah, I forgot some
contracts this morning.
Stopped by to grab them,
and to put up this game-changer.
Hey, carly!
You're voting for that guy
and not your neighbor?
"That guy" just happens to be
an old fraternity brother
of mine
and a mighty fine candidate.
And, who are you?
This is mike logan.
He just started working
for the bannermans.
Paul warner.
Sorry. Matt, was it?
Mike. "Mike." logan.
Well, welcome
to poplar point, mike.
You're gonna like it here.
Except for the robberies,
I guess.
Yeah. Yeah, messy business.
Jim donahoe's still
in the i.c.u.
might be days
before he wakes up.
If he wakes up.
Look, I know
I'm the new guy here,
but we should probably
tell each other
if we see anything strange,
don't you think?
Sure. Forewarned is forearmed.
Hey, don't forget,
vote mcnamara.
Bye!
I should go.
Meanwhile,
you should work on
your juice box technique.
I still got you beat
by six seconds.
Six seconds?
That's it for today.
Thank you.
Hey, princess.
Your highness.
Sweet.
Now get your royal highness
to my office, would ya?
The boy, lucas,
has that moody-cynical
thing going on,
but I think it stems from
a lack of self-confidence.
Ava, the six-year-old
warmed up to me pretty quickly,
even though she's stuck
playing princess with me.
Iogan, the robberies.
- Right...
What are you finding out
about the robberies?
Sure. Um...
well, as you can imagine,
the whole thing
has spooked the residents.
I mean, a lot of people
still think that
the perp is an insider.
Of course, they do.
Okay, what else?
Well, mostly, I've been
working on the nannies,
trying to get them to open up.
Especially this one nanny
across the street, jessie.
Could she be a suspect?
What? No. No! I mean...
I can't imagine
that she would be.
Why?
Are you into this jessie?
It's not like that, sir.
And I thought you already
questioned the nannies.
I'm asking you,
mr. It's-not-like-that.
Well, in reality,
anybody over the age of 10
could be a suspect.
And if the campaign signs
are any indication,
mayor danielson is not making
any new friends over there.
The robberies
are killing her numbers.
Check this out.
She dropped, what, five points
in the last week alone.
Think this mcnamara's any good?
Well, he's got a decent rep,
a fair businessman,
lots of charity work,
good family. Who knows?
Okay, logan.
Keep on it.
We'll, nail this crook.
Well, that's all.
Go bake brownies or...
do laundry,
whatever it is you nannies do.
Bye!
- Bye.
Hey, guys!
I'm hungry.
I put some snacks
out in the kitchen.
Go help yourself.
'Kay.
So what do you think?
Bought it this morning
at the sporting goods store.
What part of
"I'm not interested"
don't you get?
None of it.
I know you want this.
Okay, let's do it.
Alright, luke-man,
let's see what you've got.
Okay! Alright.
That's a good start.
Alright, I want you
to try it again,
but this time, I want you
to square up to the hoop. Okay?
That means both your feet should
be pointing right at the rim.
Just like that, and it's so important
to bend the knees a little bit.
Yeah, get a little
comfortable there.
When your hands are on the ball,
your fingers should be
nice and wide like that,
and it's one smooth motion up,
and I want you to follow
through right to the hoop.
Kinda like that.
Now you try. Okay?
So much better!
But it didn't go in.
But your form was way better!
And you see
how much closer you got?
I mean, do you think
kobe and lebron aced it
their very first time?
Yeah, I do.
Alright.
Try it again.
You're doin' great.
You're doin' great.
That was great!
Very close.
Follow through.
Follow through
right to the hoop.
Believe you can do it.
You've gotta believe it.
Right on target!
You see what I mean?
That's what I'm talking about!
Bend the knees.
Follow through.
Okay, now you're just
showing off!
Yeah. And you will too.
Real soon.
Hey, kids?
Maybe you should head in
and finish your homework, okay?
Alright?
Iuke-man, awesome job today.
I mean it.
I mean it! Great job.
Dean...
- hey! Jessie!
Hi.
- Hi.
Mike, this is...
This is dean bartons.
He works for mr. Warner,
at "tires on the go."
This is mike.
He works across the street.
Yeah?
Is he, a nanny?
Yeah.
Lucky man. You get to see
this pretty lady all the time.
Yeah. I also get to see
how hard she works.
Which is exactly why
I keep telling her,
she needs to get out
and have a little fun.
Let me guess. With you?
Hey!
Hey, jessie, we...
We got to get going.
We're gonna be,
we're gonna be late
for that thing...
You know, the...
the,
the "nanny-palooza."
The nanny-palooza!
I...
I totally would've
forgotten about that.
Listen, dean,
thanks for stopping by.
I'll see you around.
Count on it.
"Nanny-palooza?"
I don't know.
Thanks for that.
Well, he's very persistent,
isn't he?
Well, you can't fault a guy
for trying, right?
But dating him would be, what,
like a conflict of interest?
'Cause he works
for your boss, or...?
So what's for dinner, mike?
A mess, probably.
Well, when in doubt,
go with spaghetti.
It's fool-proof.
That's a good boy.
That's a good boy.
How're you doing?
Hi!
Hi. I don't think
we've met.
I'm mike,
I'm the bannermans' new nanny.
Renee donahoe.
Hello there, "mike."
I'm sorry about your husband.
But I-I hear he's doing
much better.
Seems that way.
And that's
soon-to-be "ex-husband."
I... I didn't know,
but I just moved in, so...
then you probably
also don't know
that your boss
is jim's divorce lawyer.
My boss? Mr. bannerman?
Huh.
You're right,
I did not know that.
So...
should we be talking?
As long as that's all we do,
there's probably no harm.
You're for mcnamara, I see?
In a big way, yeah.
My husband's for danielson,
of course,
but that's just one more thing
we disagree on.
See you again,
neighbor.
Hey!
- Hey.
What's going on?
Just taking chester
here for a walk.
Listen, thank you for yesterday,
the whole "nanny-palooza" thing.
Always glad to help
a damsel in distress.
Or potential distress.
That is a lot of diapers.
Well, a good nanny
never runs out of diapers.
And here I thought
it was patience.
That is a close second.
So other than diaper-duty,
you busy right now?
No. Mrs. warner has the baby,
so I'm just out and about. Why?
Wanna go grab a coffee?
Swap recipes?
So tell me,
what does "mike the manny"
really want to be doing?
What do you mean?
I'm doing it.
Come on.
A guy like you?
This is just a pit stop.
This isn't
the final destination.
Like take me.
I love children.
I love being a nanny,
but I want to do something
to really make a difference
in their lives,
really help them.
And you will.
No question.
Me?
I just...
i just go with the flow.
And so, what about...
What about relationships?
You ever been married?
Come close?
I was engaged once,
long time ago.
It was a total impulse move,
would've been a disaster.
But we realized it
and we broke it off.
Pretty much ever since then,
it's been me, my work, and i.
With the occasional "her."
By the way, no one ever told me,
why did
the bannermans' nanny quit?
Cookie? She didn't quit.
She was fired.
Fired? For what?
Ineptitude mostly.
I mean, she was sweet,
she was friends
with all the nannies,
but she was a bit of a mess...
kind of flaky.
And possibly
was skimming off the top
of the expense account.
Cookie had her hand
in the cookie jar, huh?
Well, mariah was
really good friends with her,
and she swears
that it was just a rumor.
And then dean and cookie
are second cousins,
which is kind of weird,
but anyway,
dean's known her his whole life
and he promises that
she would never steal anything.
Listen.
Thanks for, um,
getting me out like this.
This was nice.
It was, wasn't it?
No!
It's mariah's house.
Gloria, what happened?
Mariah's people left
for vacation this morning,
so she's out doing chores,
and bang!
Somebody breaks in.
She's talking
to the police right now.
I'm gonna check it out.
Maybe you guys
should just wait here.
Alright, miss kingsley,
if we have any more questions,
we'll be in touch.
Be careful, mikey.
Your place could be next.
"Mikey?"
She's a fan, what can I say?
Yeah, well, your "fan" remembers
setting the alarm
before she left,
but can't swear to it,
which I'd say sounds convenient,
except, frankly, I've done
the same thing myself.
Still, it points
to somebody who
knows this place,
or, again, at least
knows the alarm code.
I say get inside that house.
Bring the nanny
a pie or whatever,
nose around, see what stinks.
Maybe I'll bring her some
of this special meat loaf
that I'm making tonight.
It's turkey loaf.
The bannermans don't
eat any red meat
or anything like...
I don't care if
they eat rocks, "mikey,"
just find me the perp.
I'm on it, sir.
Okay... dig in!
I don't know whether
to eat it or dribble it.
Well, I made it in your honor,
luke-man.
Keep up the great hoop work.
Can you make one in the shape
of sleeping beauty?
That's a little bit
of a tall order,
but I can do my best.
And don't forget,
we need to rehearse later
for your audition.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Tell me the truth...
You're bionic.
It's the only possible way
you could have that much energy.
What?
Sorry.
I, I couldn't hear you.
I was listening
to an audio textbook.
For class.
Like I said, bionic.
Listen. Since I have you here,
do you have a minute?
I have 10,
then I have to help ava
with her
sleeping beauty audition.
Nice!
Do you remember how we said
we should tell each other
if we saw anything strange?
I found it really strange
and out of the ordinary.
And you say you saw him standing
right outside of mariah's house?
I drove right past him,
right after I ran into you.
I didn't think anything of it
until we got back from the park
and, well, the robbery.
Maybe he was a gardener, or...
an exterminator?
No. I doubt it.
Gardeners are monday,
wednesday, fridays.
Pest control
is every other tuesday.
Today's thursday.
Cable guy?
The u.p.s. man?
Wearing sweat pants
and a baseball cap?
But you only saw him
from behind?
Honestly,
I can't even be sure
that it was even a him.
It happened so fast,
but whoever it was
had on a backpack.
One of those camouflage ones.
Do you think I should
call the police?
I have another idea.
I appreciate you
coming out this early, but...
you know you don't really need
to be incognito.
We're just kinda
nosing around a little bit.
Just playing "detective,"
I know, I know.
I mean, it is kind of risky.
The police are
still investigating.
They're nowhere on this,
so maybe we can help.
Just us. You know,
"on the q.t."
And don't worry,
I'll protect you.
It's kind of exciting.
It's like "turner and hooch,"
only we're both humans.
I loved that movie!
Here we are...
"scene of the crime."
Do you remember where
"backpack" was standing?
Yeah, he was right here,
in the driveway.
Let's go. Come on.
The family can't
get back till tomorrow,
but I told them "don't rush.
It's not like anyone's
gonna break in again."
Well, how can you be sure?
They never hit
the same place twice.
Besides, all
the big stuff is gone.
Stands to reason.
Doesn't it?
Yeah, those fools
knew just where to look
and just what to take.
What window did they
come in and out of?
Now, how did you know that?
That it was the same window?
He's seen a lot of cop shows.
Ever seen "turner & hooch"?
That one over there.
Okay.
Next, you two are gonna
say I robbed this place.
Why would we say that?
I don't know.
That's how rumors get started.
How cookie lost her job,
and, let's face it, handsome,
how you got yours.
Mariah, you're being paranoid.
Cookie lost her job
because she was a crummy nanny.
Girl had her issues,
but she was no thief.
Hand over that
prize-winning meat loaf
I keep hearing so much about.
Right?
Yeah, but you have to admit,
when it comes
to made-up detectives,
nobody beats sherlock holmes.
Hiya, jess!
What's he doing
here? Hi!
I was just going to leave these
for you at the door.
A little something
to brighten your day.
Yeah.
Wow.
Mike, right?
Yeah.
How goes it, sport?
I should probably
get back to the shop, but...
enjoy, okay?
Talk real soon.
- Thanks.
What girl doesn't like flowers?
But the note can make
or break the whole thing.
He says, from experience.
You know
what's better than flowers?
Chemistry.
I should get her inside.
Yeah. Okay.
We can play "sherlock holmes"
again real soon.
Okay, you got it.
Bye!
- Bye.
Mike! Mike!
I had a great audition!
That is so fantastic, ava!
And I did
just what you told me to,
I pretended
I was sleeping beauty,
and I showed them how I'd sleep.
I was so good!
Don't sell any tickets just yet.
There were a lot of kids
auditioning.
But lucas and I are both
crossing our fingers for you!
Me too!
- Alright!
Hey, will you take
chester inside for me?
Okay!
- Okay.
What?
Who put sugar in your gas tank?
What's that supposed to mean?
It means,
you wanna talk about it?
Not talking about it
won't make it go away.
If brody calls me
"lucas puke-us" one more time,
I'm gonna lose it.
No. Don't lose it.
Okay?
But do stand up for yourself.
You tell him
you want him to stop right now.
Okay? Trust me.
The biggest bullies
are also the biggest babies.
So...
what are we waiting for?
What?
Nothin' but net!
Whoo! You nailed it!
Alright. Let's keep it up.
Getting a jump on the morning?
Anything to get
the kids out on time,
you know?
Now, if you could
just help me get out on time.
I heard mr. Donahoe's
out of his coma.
That's, that's good news.
That's great news.
He's actually
coming home this weekend.
Well, mrs. Donahoe
must be very relieved.
Renee?
I think she's probably
rooting for an early demise.
The donahoes
are going through a divorce.
I'm jim's attorney, so...
i guess I'm a little biased.
Is that weird for you?
Defending a neighbor?
No. No, not really.
I mean...
jim and I have never really
been that close,
and anyway, it was his idea.
So, what?
He just came knocking
on the door,
looking for a lawyer?
It was fluky, actually.
Cookie, our ex-nanny,
she had a cousin
who used to work for jim and...
Cousin?
Dean? The guy who works
for mr. Warner,
at "tires on the go?"
I don't know,
cookie never mentioned.
Anyway,
he mentioned to her that,
he had an ex-boss that was
going through a divorce,
and cookie says,
"wow, small world.
My boss handles divorces,"
and jim came knocking.
He probably thought I'd give him
a neighborly discount.
I did not.
Well, good luck on the case,
I guess.
Thanks.
Don't, don't work too late.
Has anybody seen cookie
since she worked
for the bannermans?
Mariah said
that she went to work
for the mcnamara campaign.
I mean, she probably put up
half of these signs.
Why do you ask?
Just wondering.
You think cookie is
the poplar point thief?
Come on!
Don't kid yourself, jessie.
We're all suspects.
She might've stolen
a little bit of money
from the bannermans,
but she's no
criminal mastermind.
How can you be so sure?
Elementary, my dear watson.
Hey, carly.
How are you, sweet girl?
What?
Nothing.
Just...
thinking what an excellent mom
you'll make.
Alright, let's get back
to the real investigating, huh?
Thanks.
Hiya!
- Hi.
Did you come to volunteer?
Well, I was just passing by,
and I wanted to see what
all the excitement was about.
Well! It is about a mayor
who can protect his citizens,
and has a terrific new business
and development plan.
Sold.
Great! Pen?
I'm so sorry.
That's better.
I'm a little bit of a klutz.
No, you're not,
you're just someone
who obviously has
a lot of responsibilities.
Thank you.
I wish my last employer
saw it that way.
What were you doing
before you were a...
campaign superwoman?
I... I was a nanny.
Not a very good one, I'm afraid.
It got complicated.
Life is complicated.
So what brought you here?
My cousin knows gil.
Actually,
knows somebody who knows gil,
old college buddy or something.
But here I am,
"outreach coordinator."
What do you say?
You wanna join?
We could use loads of help.
I'm gonna think about it,
but I will take you up
on the button.
Sure thing.
Ooh!
- My gosh.
I'm so sorry. Again.
Why don't I put that on myself?
Good idea!
- Okay.
I hope to see you around...?
Calvin.
Cookie.
Cookie.
Okay. Great. Bye.
- Bye.
It was renee donahoe.
I saw them.
Are you sure it was mcnamara?
Like he just jumped right off
of one of his campaign posters.
Wouldn't mayor danielson
like to know
that juicy little tidbit
about her "happily married"
opponent.
He'd probably just deny it
and play the "I'll
keep you safe" card.
I mean, if he'd cheat on his
wife, he'd cheat on bellingham,
and he'd probably cheat
to become mayor.
I don't know, but if they don't
catch this burglar soon,
it's gonna be
"hello, mayor mcnamara."
Well, all the more reason
to keep playing detective.
Am not!
- Are too!
I am not!
Hey!
Whoa... what's
going on, guys?
Emma called me a bank robber.
I'm not a bank robber!
I'm not an anything-robber.
Emma?
Why in the world would you
call ava a "bank robber?"
Not bank robber,
"bankrobbed!"
That's what my dad
told my mom they are,
'cause they have no money.
Do you have any money?
See? Then
you're bank-robbed.
Just like me.
The word's "bankrupt," stupid.
Okay! Um...
hey, girls?
Why don't you go feed
the ducks, okay?
Yeah! Yeah!
We'll be there soon.
- Let's go!
What was that?
The warners don't
know that I know this,
but I overheard paul
telling mrs. Warner
that he filed chapter 11
for "tires on the go."
He said that
they were bleeding cash,
and, evidently, emma knows, too.
No wonder
he's been so preoccupied.
I just keep waiting
for them to tell me
that they can't afford
to keep me on anymore.
Then I guess that would mean
the cat's out of the bag.
Might soon be anyway.
Hopefully not.
Poplar point
is all about perception.
Especially when your neighbors
are also your clients.
Exactly. So can we just...?
Well, according
to these internal records,
"tires on the go"
is in a whole lot of quicksand.
Warner's in big trouble.
Which includes
keeping up appearances,
which takes money.
From somewhere.
You sound like
he's robbing his neighbors.
Do you really think
that mr. Tires-on-the-go
is sneaking around poplar point
with a pistol and a ski mask?
Or maybe somebody's
doing it for him.
Later, pal.
So I'm driving,
and I'm sitting there,
literally,
thinking about what
I'm gonna cook for dinner,
and then I hit the pothole,
and...
Tire blew.
Happens. A lot.
Lucky for us.
How's business?
Well, we're hanging in there.
Can't always
be christmas, right?
Tire's in stock.
Autograph there and there,
and we'll get that tire
changed out for you
as soon as we can.
Hey!
Nanny matt.
What brings you
to my humble establishment?
It's "mike," pete... paul.
"Mr. warner."
Had a fight with a pothole.
And you lost, obviously.
Well, we'll fix you right up,
won't we, dean?
Absolutely, boss.
You be careful.
Okay, guy?
How's that gig
working out for you?
You know, the nanny thing.
It's good.
It's really good.
It's hard, but very rewarding.
Like getting to spend
all your time with jessie?
You like her, don't you?
You don't?
Yeah, I do,
but we kinda work together.
And you work for her boss, so...
so you don't think
that I should date her?
I think that's pretty much
up to jessie, don't you?
What can I say?
I'm an optimist.
Anyways, why don't you
go grab a seat,
and we'll get that
minivan of yours
all changed up
in about 20 minutes.
Hey! Let me guess...
You're here because you heard
I was experimenting
with mariah's chili recipe,
and you want a preview, right?
Listen. I got a strange
phone call from dean.
Did you go
by the tire store today?
Yeah.
Did you tell him
he shouldn't go out with me?
What? No!
No.
I mean...
I may have mentioned that
his work might get in the way,
but, look, look...
Who you go out with is
absolutely none of my business,
and if you like this guy,
then...
go for it.
Really.
Mike, you want
to protect people,
and that's...
That's great, really,
but I don't need any protection
from anybody. Okay?
I'm a big girl.
Yeah. Sure, okay.
I'm sorry.
I hope the chili's a hit.
I'll see you later.
Ava...
what is it?
What's wrong?
They gave the part
to tara goldfarb!
Said I could "understudy."
I don't want to study!
I want to act!
I'm so sorry.
You should be!
Your advice was stupid!
They didn't care how
sleeping beauty actually sleeps.
Well, I mean, that was
the only part of the whole...
Holy moly.
How did you get the black eye?
By standing up for myself.
Only brody stood up bigger,
faster...
and stronger.
- Are you okay?
Do I look okay?
Truthfully?
You look like one tough dude
that I would never mess with.
You're a jerk, nanny mike.
Can anyone guess the shape
of tonight's meat loaf?
It was a map
of the united states.
By the way,
ava, you're about
to eat florida.
Just saying.
You know what we should do?
Just for fun...
learn sleeping beauty's lines
anyway.
Just like you got the part.
I'll help you out.
Hey, luke-man, I got an idea.
After school tomorrow,
we should head down
to the college,
and practice a little bit
on a real regulation-size court.
Why don't you
keep your ideas...
...to yourself?
- Lucas.
Hey!
- You're being rude.
Okay, you guys,
have an awesome day
at school today.
When you get home,
we're gonna
do something super-fun!
Okay...
rough morning?
I have officially
lost my superman status
with ava and lucas.
The nanny game can be brutal.
Hey, I'm sorry
about the other day.
I really didn't mean
to make you mad.
I should get going.
Want some company?
I promise to keep up.
Sure.
Okay. I'll go lock up.
You get started
and I'll catch up.
Look, mike, I like you.
You seem like a really good guy.
But...
The dreaded "but."
But anything more
is just too close for comfort.
You know?
We'd have no privacy.
People would talk,
it could get in the way
of our work, and...
And, not that I was even asking,
but let's just say that I was.
Are you saying that
you wanna play it safe
rather than take
a chance on the unknown?
What kind of detective
does that?
Not a very committed one,
I'm afraid.
I'm sorry, mike.
Chester,
please tell me you did this?
Captain?
Iogan.
Bad news.
I'll leave that...
there.
Well...
goodbye.
Even if it is your fault
we were robbed,
I don't think it's your fault
I wasn't picked for the show.
I was just trying to help.
You didn't.
But that's okay.
I'm sorry I called you a jerk.
I have been called way worse,
believe me.
I believe you.
And I'm still gonna
try out for the team
next week.
Iucas, that's great!
Remember, square up,
bend those knees...
follow through.
Kids, can you give
your dad and me a minute
to speak with mike?
Thanks.
Mike...
lucas's black eye...
we understand that, you know,
these things happen, but...
how, after
I specifically asked you
to set the alarm
whenever you leave the house,
could you forget?
That's just it, I didn't.
I did not forget the alarm.
I'm sure of it. I'm...
Pretty sure.
Well, either way,
a beat was missed on your watch,
and our home was invaded.
What if the kids had been home?
But I mean, they weren't.
Isn't that what's
most important?
We hate this, we really do,
mike...
but you've lost our trust.
That's what's most important.
Well, um...
say goodbye to the kids for me.
Of course.
- We will.
You can't take me off this case!
I have a ton of leads,
I'm zeroing in on a suspect,
and I finally have the trust of
the people of the neighborhood!
Yeah...
until your family's house,
of all possible houses,
was robbed.
I'm sending in rosario.
What? That wet blanket?
She is not gonna last one day
at the bannermans.
Maybe a day is all she'll need.
Frank, please, at least let me
keep working it from here.
I can't.
I've already reassigned you.
Have fun.
"Pet psychic" fraud?
What am I,
in "detective jail?"
That's all, logan.
Hey!
- Hi.
Been looking for ya.
Yeah?
You have a minute to talk?
Sure.
I got you something.
You like it?
Um, wow, dean, it's gorgeous.
I can't take this.
It's too expensive.
Just think of it
as a special gift
for a special woman.
Go on, try it on.
Jess, just...
give me a chance.
You won't be disappointed.
I promise.
I just hope jessie
doesn't end up dating dean.
She deserves a lot better.
Like, I don't know, you?
He shouldn't have ratted me out
like that.
He totally
twisted my words around.
Not cool.
It's simple.
He pegged you
as the competition,
and wanted you
out of the picture.
In fact,
bannermans getting robbed,
you getting fired...
Perfect timing for that dude.
Couldn't have worked out better
if he'd planned it himself.
Seriously?
Bankruptcy can
make strange bedfellows.
What if dean
is doing warner's dirty work?
Mike...
I really think
you've gotta let this one go.
Yeah, okay.
You're right.
Besides, I, I've got
a fake pet psychic to apprehend.
Nice try, lucas.
"Nice try"
doesn't get you on the team.
Are you any good?
Well, I played a little
in high school, but...
You're worse than I ever was.
Just a little rusty, that's all.
I guess that means you can't
help me practice my lay-up.
Maybe you should
ask your father.
I'll never make the team.
Wanna play "princess"?
How do you do that?
I don't know!
You just do.
Nanny mike knew how,
and he was a man.
Obviously, a very versatile man.
I'll play sleeping beauty
and you can play
the ugly sister.
I have work to do.
At least we know you're not
the poplar point thief.
What does that mean?
Robbery number nine
just went down.
See ya.
Wait! I'll go with you.
No, you won't.
You're not a cop, remember?
Not at poplar point.
I'll go in disguise!
No one will know. I can help.
You already went there
in disguise for three weeks,
and helped no one.
I was at the park,
come home, and we're robbed.
Have you noticed anyone new
or unusual in the area
in the last few days?
No. Nothing. At all.
We're taking this
very seriously at city hall.
We have the police working
24 hours a day.
This is something
we will not stand for
in our community or our city.
We are going to use
any resource available to us.
Driving under the influence,
bad checks,
couple petty thefts...
pretty good hunch after all.
Now we just gotta
get milano to listen.
Once the prints
come back from the lab,
we'll know for sure.
Get back to the bannermans
and keep in touch...
what are you doing?
My job.
...leading up to...
Logan, we're in
the middle of something.
You need to run this for prints.
A pen?
A "tires on the go" pen.
It's a bit of a long shot,
but I think it's connected
to the robberies.
The robberies
you're no longer on.
Fine. You know what?
You give it to the captain.
If it works,
you can take all the credit.
Just, please, do it.
Hey...
how are lucas and ava?
Delightful.
Good.
Captain!
What are you doing here?
Needed to talk to you
in person, in private.
Okay. Sure, come on in.
Sorry about the mess.
That's okay,
I've seen your desk.
I'll stand.
Pizza?
Iogan, just listen to me.
We ran that pen you gave us.
A print showed up.
A partial match with one
from today's robbery,
and some others we have on file.
Dean bartons's?
You gonna bring him in?
I would if I could.
Can't, 'cause he's gone.
Vanished.
Wow.
Did you question warner?
Or jessie? Jessie
probably knows where he is...
No. That's your job.
Wait, what are you saying?
Nanny mike is back in business.
You're returning
to the bannermans.
Really? What about ramos?
Long story short...
They hated her,
missed you, want you back.
Tomorrow morning, first thing.
The agency told the bannermans
you're starting a new nanny job,
but will stay
until they find someone else.
is that pepperoni?
Yes, it is.
Go ahead.
Just so you know,
I'm still going
for that promotion.
Just so you know,
you can have it.
I'm here to crack a case
and to watch out for a family.
Nanny mike! You're back!
Hey!
Aww...
that lady was such a loser.
I had to teach her
how to play basketball.
She wouldn't play
"princess" with me.
And her meat loaf
looked like pooh.
Will you come
to my tryouts later?
Yeah!
You got it, man.
And my play after?
Wait!
You're in the play?
The school just called.
Tara goldfarb
got the chicken pox.
What?
But what about all the dialogue?
I did what you said,
I pretended I got the part
and I learned all the lines.
All by myself!
I'm gonna be a star!
Not if you don't
get to school on time.
Alright, guys!
Go, go, go!
See you later!
- Bye!
Hey, luke-man!
Remember, you got this!
I know!
You know why? You.
We overreacted
after the robbery.
We are so sorry, mike.
Forgive us?
Absolutely.
Welcome back, mike.
Great to be back.
We're late, as usual.
There's your key.
We'll meet you tonight
at the kids' events.
Meanwhile, the kitchen
is a total disaster...
No worries. I got it.
Thank you.
Thanks, buddy.
- Have a great day!
Bye, babe. Love you.
- Bye. You too.
Chester! Hey, buddy.
Stay right here.
I'll be right back.
Okay? I'll be right back.
Hey-hey, mr. Warner.
Well, look who's
back on the block.
Yeah, you look like
you're in a bit of a hurry.
Yeah, it's a madhouse
at work today.
See you later, matt.
It's mike, actually.
Is jessie at home?
Jessie?
Nah, I haven't
seen her all morning.
She's probably out
buying diapers or something.
"A good nanny
never runs out of diapers."
Yeah. Well, she's gone,
my wife's with the baby,
I'm running late...
That's all I know.
A "madhouse" at work, huh?
Yeah, right.
Miss me?
What do you think?
It was great
to have a "manny" around!
Thank you.
Hey, have you guys
seen jessie recently?
Not since the break-in
at gloria's.
Maybe she ran off
with that dean.
Yeah.
With dean?
What are you talking about?
Well, boy gave her
a fancy bracelet.
I would've said yes.
What kind of bracelet?
Twisty gold thing,
with little diamonds.
Must've cost a pretty penny.
- Yeah.
He didn't snatch it
outta some box of cracker jacks,
that's for sure.
Yeah.
I bet he didn't.
What a guy.
Anyway, I've got
a house to clean,
so I'll, um, I'll
see you guys later.
Okay.
- Sure.
Yeah. It's logan.
Listen.
Meet me at "tires on the go,"
and bring back-up.
Matt.
What are you doing here?
For crying out loud.
It's "mike."
Where's dean?
That's what I'd like to know.
Today, of all days,
he's a no-show.
You're lying.
I know he's here.
What are you talking about?
And who are you
to call me a liar?
You're just a nanny.
Is that right?
And what's that?
This is exactly
what it looks like.
And I know you hired dean
to rob poplar point
to get you through bankruptcy.
So where is he?
And where are you
both holding jessie?
Jessie? I already told you,
I haven't seen her.
W-What's this all about?
Okay.
Yes.
My company is currently
under chapter 11,
and if you really must know,
yeah, I'm broke,
but I don't know any more
about these robberies
than, frankly,
it seems that you do.
What have you been doing
this whole time, anyway?
Playing "undercover nanny?"
Mike, mike.
You don't have to do this.
Alright? I may not
be the nicest guy in the world,
but I've never cheated
anyone, ever.
Maybe if I had cheated,
I wouldn't be going
to bankruptcy court.
Don't you ever say that anyone
"is just a nanny" ever again.
You got that?
Nothing here, guys.
Let's move on.
Iogan, what
the heck is going on?
I think I'm onto something.
Just follow me.
Okay, let's go!
Let's go!
Mcnamara headquarters?
What is this, logan?
You can fire me if I'm wrong.
I can fire you if you're right.
Fine. You ready to
catch this guy or not?
Calvin, hold back
and follow logan's lead.
You other guys,
just hang out here.
Okay. Thanks.
Calvin! Welcome back.
Did you come to volunteer?
That's great!
We're super-swamped and we can...
Where's dean bartons?
What?
Who's dean bartons?
Your cousin.
I don't have a cousin dean.
I do have an uncle named don,
but he lives in spain,
so that's prob...
Calvin, who are these people?
Mike...
why is she calling you calvin?
Cookie, please direct us
to dean bartons and gil mcnamara
or we will arrest you
on suspicion of
the poplar point burglaries.
So that's a "no"
on volunteering, then?
You got 10 seconds, ma'am.
Okay.
Follow me into our warehouse.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Go ahead.
They're up there.
Keep an eye on her.
Hey, grab her!
- Stop her!
It's locked!
Your star witness
just locked us in.
You're killin' me, logan.
- Check upstairs!
Okay, help me.
It's me, cookie!
Open up!
Don't ask any questions.
Just get her out of there. Now.
We're locked in.
It won't budge.
Hey!
Cookie, I can't believe
that you're a part of this.
Mike? m...
Cover the back!
Everybody out of the van!
Get out! Out, out! Everyone!
Let's go!
Everyone out!
- Let's go!
Let's go!
- Okay, okay.
Come on, get over there!
Get over!
Mike? What are
you doing here?
Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know!
Captain frank milano,
19th precinct.
Let's unhandcuff this lady.
Sir. Yes, sir.
Mike, why are you
with the police?
I've been working undercover
as a nanny, to help solve
the robberies. Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What? You're a cop?
A detective, yeah.
A real one.
- I knew it!
I knew that there was
something wrong with this guy!
Great, now how about telling us
what's been going on here?
Allow me. Captain,
this is all about politics.
Mcnamara was down in the polls,
and so he needed
to cook up some kind of scandal
to sabotage mayor danielson.
What better way to do that
than a string of robberies
right in her very own backyard,
to show that the mayor couldn't
even protect her neighbors?
And through his old buddy,
paul warner,
mcnamara found the perfect guy
to do the actual stealing,
dean bartons.
You are way out of line, pal.
Meanwhile, dean here's
so sadly trying
to get jessie out on a date,
for, like, forever,
decided to bribe her for a date
with a fancy gold bracelet...
Is that the one?
- That's the one.
The bracelet that he took
from the bannermans
when he robbed the place
a couple days ago.
I didn't rob anyone!
And that bracelet
was not a bribe.
Give it up, you liar.
I went over to dean's
the other night,
to return the bracelet.
I told him that a gift
like that didn't feel right,
like it didn't feel right
to go out with him.
It's too much.
It doesn't feel right.
And then before I knew it,
he accusing me
of accusing him of stealing it.
What doesn't feel right?
I mean, you're acting
like I stole the bracelet
or something.
So I finally said,
"well, did you?"
What'd he say?
- Nothing.
He just glared at me like
he was gonna take my head off,
and that's when I saw it.
It was the camouflage backpack.
I tried to run,
I tried to scream,
but be was too fast,
he pulled me inside,
he locked the door.
Dean obviously
called mcnamara and told him
that jessie was onto them
and took her
to campaign headquarters,
panicked,
locked her in the winnebago
until they could figure out
what to do with her.
That's abduction, by the way.
I'm curious...
How did you bypass
all the home alarms?
Cookie?
You want to take this one?
When I started
at the bannermans',
I had awful credit card debt.
Like, scary awful,
and I mentioned it to dean...
Your cousin.
Step-cousin.
Well, he told me that he would
pay off my credit cards
if I could get him some
information that he needed
to, well...
work his way into a few houses.
I was so desperate, so...
So she befriended the nannies.
She would walk us home,
for coffee,
chitchat...
while secretly memorizing
the security codes
on the alarm systems.
She even found made her way
into the donahoes',
while skimming money
from the bannermans,
making copies of their keys.
Wow.
Jessie, you are good.
Yeah, something like that.
I mean, I could go on, captain.
Like about your affair
with renee donahoe...
Okay. That's enough.
Good work...
sergeant logan.
Hey-hey-hey!
Drop it!
Just drop your guns!
And let me go!
- Dean!
Put them down.
Down, down!
What are you doing?
Take it easy!
You got him?
Jessie, you okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
- Yeah.
Let's get these crooks
to the station.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
You weren't doing so bad
yourself right there!
What, do you take
self-defense classes, too?
Just every other saturday.
Of course you do.
I am... I am really, really sorry
that you had to
go through all this.
Looks like I needed
your protection after all.
Thank you, sarge.
I didn't want to lie to you.
I really didn't.
I was just...
I was just doing my job.
Well, listen, you seem like
a really good cop.
Almost as good a cop
as you are a nanny.
Well, you know,
I am a pretty big stud
with a juice box,
thanks to you.
Hey! I gotta...
I gotta go!
The kids' events are, like,
happening right now. Um...
you wanna come with me?
I mean, it'll be fun.
Yeah, after 15 hours of that,
I'm in, it sounds fun.
Great. Great,
and then maybe later,
we could just go out
for a nice, romantic dinner,
no kids, no cops, no robbers,
just...
just us.
Just us?
I like the sound of that.
Let's go.
Let's see what she has to say
this time.
Sixth robbery in two months?
Imagine if this wasn't
a "safe and sound" community.
I promise you, mayor danielson,
we're doing everything we can
to get to the bottom of this.
Do you know what?
My nanny could've
cracked this case faster.
Well, maybe we should
put her on the force.
Do you know how
embarrassing this is?
I live here!
Every day, I have to
reassure my neighbors
the police are "this close"
to finding the perpetrator.
And now this.
Poor jim donahoe in the i.c.u.
with severe head trauma.
Well, at least his wife
was out of town,
escaped injury.
Gotta be grateful for that.
I am.
But when people
start getting hurt,
that's a line in the sand,
and you know that.
You also know
what a tough re-election
campaign I'm fighting,
getting tougher by the robbery.
Captain milano, I want...
...need you
to escalate this case.
Whatever it takes.
And I'm talking yesterday.
First, a reminder
that our good buddy
and colleague,
griff hoolahan,
will be retiring next week
after 37 outstanding years
of service.
37 years!
That's amazing!
Griff's exit opens up
the new lead slot
on the poplar point
investigation,
which, due to the increase
in violence,
is now the number-one priority
for mayor danielson
and this department.
Losing griff also opens up
a level-two position here
in robbery.
In plain english... a promotion.
What're you looking at, logan?
The only upgrade you'll be
getting is on a rent-a-car.
Rosario?
Captain, I'm about wrapped up on
the third street case, so...
And just let me say,
great work, detective.
Thank you, sir.
As a result, I could
jump right into poplar point.
If you agree.
Sir.
- What a kiss-up.
Did you say something,
detective?
Just, um...
how terrific it is
for the precinct
that detective ramos so capably
closed in on third street, sir.
She looks good, we look good.
Detective ramos, see me
in my office in five minutes.
The rest of you, back to work.
How do you like that?
They got this
great new invention...
It's called "knocking."
I gotta be on poplar point.
Not a chance.
Give me one good reason.
I can give you six!
One for each robbery,
plus a victim still in i.c.u.
is he gonna make it?
It's touch-and-go.
Last report, he was
still unconscious.
Ouch!
- Exactly.
Do you know what the mayor said
to me today?
Her nanny
could've solved the case faster.
Double ouch.
I don't think
she even has a nanny.
That's it!
I gotta go undercover.
As a nanny.
"Manny." whatever.
To get in there
and infiltrate poplar point.
Well, hoolahan's already
ruled out an inside job.
All due respect,
hoolahan has had one foot out
the door for, like, months on...
What you need is somebody
that's hungry and committed
to bust through this.
That's why
I'm putting ramos on it.
I do like
the undercover nanny bit.
It's inventive.
I know!
I thought of it!
Well, even a broken clock
is right twice a day, logan.
Now, if you'll just...
- no.
Captain, you're not...
You're not hearing me.
I thought of this.
This is my idea, my case.
I deserve this.
Ramos deserves it
for cracking third street!
Frankly, logan,
you're just a little too...
Inventive?
- Impulsive!
You can't just
jump in half-baked.
Not with the mayor
breathing down our necks.
Your neck, which is exactly what
I'm trying to help save here.
Okay.
What do you know about kids?
Aside from how to avoid
having any of your own.
I am just waiting
for miss right,
and I know plenty about kids.
I grew up with four
younger brothers and sisters.
I helped my parents out
with them, like, all the time!
I just need a little brush-up
on the basics,
and I will be...
...good to go.
That's ramos.
Captain, I want this!
I want to
protect that neighborhood.
I want to put that thief
behind bars.
I want to get the mayor
back on our team!
There's an employment agency
that fronts us
on cases like this.
They'll put you
in their system...
and we'll go from there.
You will not regret this.
Ramos.
I love the vest.
Okay...
"always utilize currencies
important to your child
to incentify
appropriate behavior."
Makes sense.
"Never utilize currencies
important to your child
to incentify
appropriate behavior."
"Don't overestimate
your child's apparent problem."
"Don't underestimate
your child's apparent problem."
Or...
just flip a coin.
Iogan!
Just heard from
the employment agency.
You're in luck.
Couple from poplar point,
pair of lawyers,
just lost their nanny.
They need a new one a.s.a.p.
Later, calvin.
Later.
And they're okay
with a male nanny?
Well, the last one was a woman,
and that didn't work out,
so, yeah, they're open,
and they have a son,
so a "manny" could be a plus.
What happened
with their last nanny?
How would I know?
Just go and meet these people
tomorrow morning first thing,
make 'em like you.
Tall order, I know.
Hoolahan's notes on the case.
Don't forget these.
Keys?
For what?
Your new vehicle.
Our treat.
The chicks are gonna love this.
Well, at least
I'll have an excuse
for being dateless.
What's yours?
Best "manny" ever!
Who are you?
Hi! I'm mike.
Who are you?
I'm not allowed
to talk to strangers.
You could be the robber.
Well, I promise,
I'm not the robber.
Is your mommy or daddy home?
Ava, I told you...
No opening the door by yourself.
You must be mike.
Hi. Lizzie bannerman.
Hi.
Sorry. We've all been a little
on-edge since the robberies.
Well, I'm here
to serve and protect.
Figuratively speaking.
Please, come on in.
And I apologize in advance
for the mess.
I need you
to finish your breakfast
and get ready for school.
No. Yeah... no.
It's...
agnes edwards. Yes.
Lethbridge, minnesota.
No, don't go in there.
...i'll talk to you
in a few minutes. Okay. Bye-bye.
Here you go.
- Okay, thanks, babe. Alright.
Yeah. No.
I got that, too.
Hi. Kevin bannerman.
Listen, I am
crazy late for court,
but lizzie'll talk to you.
Thanks for stopping by.
Alright.
Alright, kids, we gotta hurry.
Bus is gonna be here
in two minutes.
Mommy, I don't like my pigtails.
Mom, my stomach hurts.
I should probably stay home.
Ava, your pigtails
look fantastic.
Iucas, honey,
you can't have
a stomach ache every day.
When you get to school,
if you still don't feel well,
just give me a call and then...
No, I'm gonna be
in depositions all day long.
Call mike here, and...
What's your number?
Do I have the job?
The agency did
their background checks,
said you were the best,
so, yeah.
Okay. It's okay.
Did my pancakes die?
Okay, that's okay, honey.
Just grab a scone.
Chester...
Chester!
Step away from the pancakes!
Let's just give it a try,
shall we?
Okay, guys.
Let's go. Let's go.
We're gonna just...
gosh.
Um...
I'm sorry, mike,
but could I ask you to tidy up
around here a little bit?
Your mess is, is my mess.
I got it covered.
Thanks a million.
Our cellphone numbers
are on the fridge, and...
We'll see you later.
Don't forget...
Doors locked at all times.
Got it.
Okay.
Alright, guys!
Let's go.
Have a great day, bannermans!
Really?
Hello!
Hello, ladies. Hi.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm mike logan,
I'm the bannermans' new
nanny... "manny."
Or whatever.
Just happy to be on board.
And you are?
Mariah kingsley.
"miss" mariah kingsley.
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you...
Miss mariah kingsley.
- Gloria mueller.
Been a nanny longer
than you've been alive.
Longer than most people
have been alive.
And the third musketeer is?
Jessie white.
I work for
the warners across the street.
Great. We're neighbors.
Nice to meet you.
Warmin' up for something big?
Just getting my steps in.
12,000 today,
that's almost 6 miles.
Wow, that's very ambitious.
You must be in great shape.
What do you do
for exercise, mike?
Besides working out
your pick-up lines?
I will race you any day, jessie.
Okay.
So, I guess it's
been a little bit
scary here lately, right?
With all the break-ins?
What's scary is they didn't
catch the son-of-a-gun
after the first five robberies.
Now violence.
Loser cops.
There's more chance one of us
could catch the guy.
You guys seen anything
or anyone, you know, weird?
You know, come to think of it,
there was that strange guy
hanging around lately.
We should probably
look out for him.
Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
He's about 6'2",
brown hair, blue eyes.
Drives a red van,
calls himself "mike."
Just a little new-nanny humor.
Good luck, mike!
Thanks.
Wait up!
- Keep up!
That's a lot of pink.
Chester, chester...
off!
Bad dog.
Ioretta's head fell off.
Can you sew it back on, please?
You want me to sew?
Like, now?
Okay-okay-okay-okay!
I'll sew. I'll sew.
Did you hurt loretta?
No, ava, loretta is just fine.
Kids, the bus just drove away.
Didn't you hear the horn?
This guy hasn't even
made breakfast. Or lunch.
It's...
Getting there.
Well, this is...
interesting.
That is a work in progress.
Sorry about that.
And don't worry about the bus,
I will... I will take
the kids to school.
In that mary poppins-mobile?
No way!
My gosh, I love mary poppins.
Chim-chiminey
chim-chiminey
chim-chim-cher-oo
morning, troops.
Hey, shouldn't you guys
be on the bus?
Mike messed up.
But he's driving us
so he doesn't get fired.
Kids!
Yeah. Lucas?
What say me and you
shoot some basketball
this weekend, huh?
Get you ready for tryouts?
Basketball? Really?
Because you're looking
at one of the sport's
secret weapons, right here.
Well, maybe you should
coach lucas. You know?
He really wants to
be on the team.
No, I don't.
Basketball's stupid.
Okay, let's just get to school.
We can argue about sports later.
Mike.
Can you cook up
a tofu stir-fry for dinner?
Everything you need's
in the fridge.
You got it.
Thank you.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Bye, kids!
This... is pathetic.
See? On time after all.
Just like the bus.
Only because
the bus driver makes,
like, a million stops.
You drive like an old lady.
Hey... "lucas puke-us."
Don't even think about
joining basketball.
Loser.
Everything okay here, bud?
Yeah... great.
See ya.
Morning.
- Hi!
- Hi. Jessie, right?
Yeah.
is that... do you...
do you have peanut butter
in your hair?
yeah, this is...
very good conditioner.
You should try it sometime.
Bye!
- Bye! - Bye, guys.
- Bye.
You, missed the bus, too,
this morning?
Yeah, slight
breakfast malfunction.
Those two are pretty close.
Yeah, yeah.
They are playdate pals.
You know, they're neighbors,
so it's easy.
Are the neighbors
all pretty close?
Yeah. Some. Some are.
You know, some keep
to themselves.
Honestly, a lot of people
have clammed up
since the robberies.
Hey, we should get the girls
together for a playdate
after school today,
maybe go to the park
or something.
I can't.
That's baby's nap time.
The baby?
They baby's a baby!
He can sleep anywhere.
It's a she,
and I'm pretty sure
that even you
know that that is not true.
Besides, I... I've got to study.
Study for what?
I'm getting my master's degree
in child psychology.
Okay, that's scary.
Why? You worried you're gonna
be my first client?
No. I mean, how do you
possibly find time
to go to school with...
...all this?
Well, I take classes online,
so that helps.
And besides,
you know what they say...
If you want something done,
just ask a busy person to do it.
Exactly! Which is why
a super-multitasker
like yourself
should be able to squeeze in
a little playdate.
You knit, too?
What don't you do?
It's, it's not knitting,
it's crocheting.
I love it.
Totally relaxes me.
I'm making a blanket
a blanket for carly.
Very cool.
Lucky baby.
So, where did you work
before poplar point?
Downtown.
I mean, for a family
that used to live downtown.
One of those fancy lofts.
But they moved.
Far away. To canada.
But I didn't.
You know. Move.
How long you been
with the warners?
Coming up
on a year. In august.
Yeah, I adore mrs. Warner.
She's a... she's a great mom.
And mr. Warner?
He's a good dad.
He's a workaholic.
You know the "tires
on the go" stores?
Those are his.
Whoa! He must do pretty well.
Hey, what did you mean earlier,
when you said everyone's
"clammed up"
since the robberies?
Just that people
are looking over
their shoulders more.
Do they think that
someone around poplar point
is the burglar?
Maybe. Yeah.
Although I heard that
the police don't think so.
Do you think so?
If I had to guess?
Yeah.
Don't listen to me, though.
I'm just an amateur
sleuth at heart.
Really? Me too.
Especially the "amateur" part.
Ha-hah!
Can I have a juice box?
A juice box?
mike, where's your stuff?
My stuff?
Yeah. All your kid stuff.
I really want a juice box!
I got one.
Okay.
There you go.
- There's your juice box.
Want one?
Can you open it?
Yeah.
The straw goes
in the little hole on top.
Worst nanny ever.
There's a little
hole right there.
There's a lot of pressure
in these things.
My last kids, they were...
They were a little bit...
They were a little bit older,
they were past the whole
juice box thing.
You're a weird nanny,
you know that?
Okay.
Wanna play "princess"?
Yeah!
Just give me a few
minutes, okay?
Okay.
- Okay.
Whoa.
Purple is not your friend.
Shh, shh, shh!
I'm playing with the kid, man.
Calvin,
you are such a life-saver.
You better get down with
the cooking thing, bro,
or you are toast.
No pun intended.
I know. I'm on it.
Just a lot going on.
Mike! Come on!
I'll be right there!
Yeah? What are
you finding out?
Aside from how to grant wishes?
That I got to get these people
to start talking,
but first, they got to eat.
Thanks again, man.
Classic.
Mike!
That looks gorgeous.
Just a little something
I whipped up.
Although I don't remember
leaving you peppercorns
to add in.
What is that?
Black bean sauce?
Yeah, I just, put my own
little personal spin on it.
Don't wait for me, though.
Please, everybody, dig in.
Mike and I played
"princess" today.
You did?
Wow!
Mike, did you know that ava
wants to play the princess
in the class production...
...of sleeping beauty?
- What?
Could you help me
rehearse for it?
Absolutely!
As long as I have time
to practice b-ball
with the luke-man.
Would you let it go?
Nope. Ava's gonna
be in the play,
and you are gonna make
the basketball team.
Now eat your tofu.
This is great, mike.
It's as good as they make
at panda kitchen.
Well, that's the last of 'em.
I could've got those.
Please, you're doing
enough around here.
Besides, I still have
three hours of case work
to finish tonight,
so I'm kind of stalling.
Do you like being a lawyer?
I like the law.
I like bringing the guilty
to justice.
Exactly!
I mean...
So you must have some idea of
who's breaking in around here.
Not really.
But if I've learned one thing
as a lawyer,
it's that most answers
are hiding right in plain sight.
Which can also make them
the hardest to see.
That reminds me...
Be sure to set the alarm
anytime you leave the house.
Something tells me this burglar
isn't finished
with poplar point.
Honestly? I've even taken
pictures of all my jewelry,
just in case.
I promise, the alarm will be
set at all times.
I'm gonna hold you to that.
'Kay.
...gets a juice box from me,
can't open the thing,
looks at it like
he's never seen one before...
What?
He's fumbling with it,
it's going everywhere...
He's coming up right now.
Don't stop talking
on my account.
We were talking about you.
Aww! I'm flattered.
Don't be.
I was telling them
about your battle
with the juice box.
Yeah, well, I can't be
good at everything.
What are you good at?
Well, I can play
the song "chopsticks"
with chopsticks.
I think I'd rather
see you open a box of juice.
Yeah, me too.
Well, bring it on.
- Alright.
I'm serious!
Alright, me too.
10 seconds.
Go.
10 seconds?
I got this.
This is easy.
Has the clock started?
This is... this is...
This is fixed!
Go, mikey. Go, mikey!
Tick-tock.
This is the tricky part!
Come on!
- Time's ticking.
Who's your daddy?
Okay, it's a juice box,
it's not the super bowl.
See you later, jess.
- Bye, guys.
Hey, mr. Warner!
You home for lunch?
Nah, I forgot some
contracts this morning.
Stopped by to grab them,
and to put up this game-changer.
Hey, carly!
You're voting for that guy
and not your neighbor?
"That guy" just happens to be
an old fraternity brother
of mine
and a mighty fine candidate.
And, who are you?
This is mike logan.
He just started working
for the bannermans.
Paul warner.
Sorry. Matt, was it?
Mike. "Mike." logan.
Well, welcome
to poplar point, mike.
You're gonna like it here.
Except for the robberies,
I guess.
Yeah. Yeah, messy business.
Jim donahoe's still
in the i.c.u.
might be days
before he wakes up.
If he wakes up.
Look, I know
I'm the new guy here,
but we should probably
tell each other
if we see anything strange,
don't you think?
Sure. Forewarned is forearmed.
Hey, don't forget,
vote mcnamara.
Bye!
I should go.
Meanwhile,
you should work on
your juice box technique.
I still got you beat
by six seconds.
Six seconds?
That's it for today.
Thank you.
Hey, princess.
Your highness.
Sweet.
Now get your royal highness
to my office, would ya?
The boy, lucas,
has that moody-cynical
thing going on,
but I think it stems from
a lack of self-confidence.
Ava, the six-year-old
warmed up to me pretty quickly,
even though she's stuck
playing princess with me.
Iogan, the robberies.
- Right...
What are you finding out
about the robberies?
Sure. Um...
well, as you can imagine,
the whole thing
has spooked the residents.
I mean, a lot of people
still think that
the perp is an insider.
Of course, they do.
Okay, what else?
Well, mostly, I've been
working on the nannies,
trying to get them to open up.
Especially this one nanny
across the street, jessie.
Could she be a suspect?
What? No. No! I mean...
I can't imagine
that she would be.
Why?
Are you into this jessie?
It's not like that, sir.
And I thought you already
questioned the nannies.
I'm asking you,
mr. It's-not-like-that.
Well, in reality,
anybody over the age of 10
could be a suspect.
And if the campaign signs
are any indication,
mayor danielson is not making
any new friends over there.
The robberies
are killing her numbers.
Check this out.
She dropped, what, five points
in the last week alone.
Think this mcnamara's any good?
Well, he's got a decent rep,
a fair businessman,
lots of charity work,
good family. Who knows?
Okay, logan.
Keep on it.
We'll, nail this crook.
Well, that's all.
Go bake brownies or...
do laundry,
whatever it is you nannies do.
Bye!
- Bye.
Hey, guys!
I'm hungry.
I put some snacks
out in the kitchen.
Go help yourself.
'Kay.
So what do you think?
Bought it this morning
at the sporting goods store.
What part of
"I'm not interested"
don't you get?
None of it.
I know you want this.
Okay, let's do it.
Alright, luke-man,
let's see what you've got.
Okay! Alright.
That's a good start.
Alright, I want you
to try it again,
but this time, I want you
to square up to the hoop. Okay?
That means both your feet should
be pointing right at the rim.
Just like that, and it's so important
to bend the knees a little bit.
Yeah, get a little
comfortable there.
When your hands are on the ball,
your fingers should be
nice and wide like that,
and it's one smooth motion up,
and I want you to follow
through right to the hoop.
Kinda like that.
Now you try. Okay?
So much better!
But it didn't go in.
But your form was way better!
And you see
how much closer you got?
I mean, do you think
kobe and lebron aced it
their very first time?
Yeah, I do.
Alright.
Try it again.
You're doin' great.
You're doin' great.
That was great!
Very close.
Follow through.
Follow through
right to the hoop.
Believe you can do it.
You've gotta believe it.
Right on target!
You see what I mean?
That's what I'm talking about!
Bend the knees.
Follow through.
Okay, now you're just
showing off!
Yeah. And you will too.
Real soon.
Hey, kids?
Maybe you should head in
and finish your homework, okay?
Alright?
Iuke-man, awesome job today.
I mean it.
I mean it! Great job.
Dean...
- hey! Jessie!
Hi.
- Hi.
Mike, this is...
This is dean bartons.
He works for mr. Warner,
at "tires on the go."
This is mike.
He works across the street.
Yeah?
Is he, a nanny?
Yeah.
Lucky man. You get to see
this pretty lady all the time.
Yeah. I also get to see
how hard she works.
Which is exactly why
I keep telling her,
she needs to get out
and have a little fun.
Let me guess. With you?
Hey!
Hey, jessie, we...
We got to get going.
We're gonna be,
we're gonna be late
for that thing...
You know, the...
the,
the "nanny-palooza."
The nanny-palooza!
I...
I totally would've
forgotten about that.
Listen, dean,
thanks for stopping by.
I'll see you around.
Count on it.
"Nanny-palooza?"
I don't know.
Thanks for that.
Well, he's very persistent,
isn't he?
Well, you can't fault a guy
for trying, right?
But dating him would be, what,
like a conflict of interest?
'Cause he works
for your boss, or...?
So what's for dinner, mike?
A mess, probably.
Well, when in doubt,
go with spaghetti.
It's fool-proof.
That's a good boy.
That's a good boy.
How're you doing?
Hi!
Hi. I don't think
we've met.
I'm mike,
I'm the bannermans' new nanny.
Renee donahoe.
Hello there, "mike."
I'm sorry about your husband.
But I-I hear he's doing
much better.
Seems that way.
And that's
soon-to-be "ex-husband."
I... I didn't know,
but I just moved in, so...
then you probably
also don't know
that your boss
is jim's divorce lawyer.
My boss? Mr. bannerman?
Huh.
You're right,
I did not know that.
So...
should we be talking?
As long as that's all we do,
there's probably no harm.
You're for mcnamara, I see?
In a big way, yeah.
My husband's for danielson,
of course,
but that's just one more thing
we disagree on.
See you again,
neighbor.
Hey!
- Hey.
What's going on?
Just taking chester
here for a walk.
Listen, thank you for yesterday,
the whole "nanny-palooza" thing.
Always glad to help
a damsel in distress.
Or potential distress.
That is a lot of diapers.
Well, a good nanny
never runs out of diapers.
And here I thought
it was patience.
That is a close second.
So other than diaper-duty,
you busy right now?
No. Mrs. warner has the baby,
so I'm just out and about. Why?
Wanna go grab a coffee?
Swap recipes?
So tell me,
what does "mike the manny"
really want to be doing?
What do you mean?
I'm doing it.
Come on.
A guy like you?
This is just a pit stop.
This isn't
the final destination.
Like take me.
I love children.
I love being a nanny,
but I want to do something
to really make a difference
in their lives,
really help them.
And you will.
No question.
Me?
I just...
i just go with the flow.
And so, what about...
What about relationships?
You ever been married?
Come close?
I was engaged once,
long time ago.
It was a total impulse move,
would've been a disaster.
But we realized it
and we broke it off.
Pretty much ever since then,
it's been me, my work, and i.
With the occasional "her."
By the way, no one ever told me,
why did
the bannermans' nanny quit?
Cookie? She didn't quit.
She was fired.
Fired? For what?
Ineptitude mostly.
I mean, she was sweet,
she was friends
with all the nannies,
but she was a bit of a mess...
kind of flaky.
And possibly
was skimming off the top
of the expense account.
Cookie had her hand
in the cookie jar, huh?
Well, mariah was
really good friends with her,
and she swears
that it was just a rumor.
And then dean and cookie
are second cousins,
which is kind of weird,
but anyway,
dean's known her his whole life
and he promises that
she would never steal anything.
Listen.
Thanks for, um,
getting me out like this.
This was nice.
It was, wasn't it?
No!
It's mariah's house.
Gloria, what happened?
Mariah's people left
for vacation this morning,
so she's out doing chores,
and bang!
Somebody breaks in.
She's talking
to the police right now.
I'm gonna check it out.
Maybe you guys
should just wait here.
Alright, miss kingsley,
if we have any more questions,
we'll be in touch.
Be careful, mikey.
Your place could be next.
"Mikey?"
She's a fan, what can I say?
Yeah, well, your "fan" remembers
setting the alarm
before she left,
but can't swear to it,
which I'd say sounds convenient,
except, frankly, I've done
the same thing myself.
Still, it points
to somebody who
knows this place,
or, again, at least
knows the alarm code.
I say get inside that house.
Bring the nanny
a pie or whatever,
nose around, see what stinks.
Maybe I'll bring her some
of this special meat loaf
that I'm making tonight.
It's turkey loaf.
The bannermans don't
eat any red meat
or anything like...
I don't care if
they eat rocks, "mikey,"
just find me the perp.
I'm on it, sir.
Okay... dig in!
I don't know whether
to eat it or dribble it.
Well, I made it in your honor,
luke-man.
Keep up the great hoop work.
Can you make one in the shape
of sleeping beauty?
That's a little bit
of a tall order,
but I can do my best.
And don't forget,
we need to rehearse later
for your audition.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Tell me the truth...
You're bionic.
It's the only possible way
you could have that much energy.
What?
Sorry.
I, I couldn't hear you.
I was listening
to an audio textbook.
For class.
Like I said, bionic.
Listen. Since I have you here,
do you have a minute?
I have 10,
then I have to help ava
with her
sleeping beauty audition.
Nice!
Do you remember how we said
we should tell each other
if we saw anything strange?
I found it really strange
and out of the ordinary.
And you say you saw him standing
right outside of mariah's house?
I drove right past him,
right after I ran into you.
I didn't think anything of it
until we got back from the park
and, well, the robbery.
Maybe he was a gardener, or...
an exterminator?
No. I doubt it.
Gardeners are monday,
wednesday, fridays.
Pest control
is every other tuesday.
Today's thursday.
Cable guy?
The u.p.s. man?
Wearing sweat pants
and a baseball cap?
But you only saw him
from behind?
Honestly,
I can't even be sure
that it was even a him.
It happened so fast,
but whoever it was
had on a backpack.
One of those camouflage ones.
Do you think I should
call the police?
I have another idea.
I appreciate you
coming out this early, but...
you know you don't really need
to be incognito.
We're just kinda
nosing around a little bit.
Just playing "detective,"
I know, I know.
I mean, it is kind of risky.
The police are
still investigating.
They're nowhere on this,
so maybe we can help.
Just us. You know,
"on the q.t."
And don't worry,
I'll protect you.
It's kind of exciting.
It's like "turner and hooch,"
only we're both humans.
I loved that movie!
Here we are...
"scene of the crime."
Do you remember where
"backpack" was standing?
Yeah, he was right here,
in the driveway.
Let's go. Come on.
The family can't
get back till tomorrow,
but I told them "don't rush.
It's not like anyone's
gonna break in again."
Well, how can you be sure?
They never hit
the same place twice.
Besides, all
the big stuff is gone.
Stands to reason.
Doesn't it?
Yeah, those fools
knew just where to look
and just what to take.
What window did they
come in and out of?
Now, how did you know that?
That it was the same window?
He's seen a lot of cop shows.
Ever seen "turner & hooch"?
That one over there.
Okay.
Next, you two are gonna
say I robbed this place.
Why would we say that?
I don't know.
That's how rumors get started.
How cookie lost her job,
and, let's face it, handsome,
how you got yours.
Mariah, you're being paranoid.
Cookie lost her job
because she was a crummy nanny.
Girl had her issues,
but she was no thief.
Hand over that
prize-winning meat loaf
I keep hearing so much about.
Right?
Yeah, but you have to admit,
when it comes
to made-up detectives,
nobody beats sherlock holmes.
Hiya, jess!
What's he doing
here? Hi!
I was just going to leave these
for you at the door.
A little something
to brighten your day.
Yeah.
Wow.
Mike, right?
Yeah.
How goes it, sport?
I should probably
get back to the shop, but...
enjoy, okay?
Talk real soon.
- Thanks.
What girl doesn't like flowers?
But the note can make
or break the whole thing.
He says, from experience.
You know
what's better than flowers?
Chemistry.
I should get her inside.
Yeah. Okay.
We can play "sherlock holmes"
again real soon.
Okay, you got it.
Bye!
- Bye.
Mike! Mike!
I had a great audition!
That is so fantastic, ava!
And I did
just what you told me to,
I pretended
I was sleeping beauty,
and I showed them how I'd sleep.
I was so good!
Don't sell any tickets just yet.
There were a lot of kids
auditioning.
But lucas and I are both
crossing our fingers for you!
Me too!
- Alright!
Hey, will you take
chester inside for me?
Okay!
- Okay.
What?
Who put sugar in your gas tank?
What's that supposed to mean?
It means,
you wanna talk about it?
Not talking about it
won't make it go away.
If brody calls me
"lucas puke-us" one more time,
I'm gonna lose it.
No. Don't lose it.
Okay?
But do stand up for yourself.
You tell him
you want him to stop right now.
Okay? Trust me.
The biggest bullies
are also the biggest babies.
So...
what are we waiting for?
What?
Nothin' but net!
Whoo! You nailed it!
Alright. Let's keep it up.
Getting a jump on the morning?
Anything to get
the kids out on time,
you know?
Now, if you could
just help me get out on time.
I heard mr. Donahoe's
out of his coma.
That's, that's good news.
That's great news.
He's actually
coming home this weekend.
Well, mrs. Donahoe
must be very relieved.
Renee?
I think she's probably
rooting for an early demise.
The donahoes
are going through a divorce.
I'm jim's attorney, so...
i guess I'm a little biased.
Is that weird for you?
Defending a neighbor?
No. No, not really.
I mean...
jim and I have never really
been that close,
and anyway, it was his idea.
So, what?
He just came knocking
on the door,
looking for a lawyer?
It was fluky, actually.
Cookie, our ex-nanny,
she had a cousin
who used to work for jim and...
Cousin?
Dean? The guy who works
for mr. Warner,
at "tires on the go?"
I don't know,
cookie never mentioned.
Anyway,
he mentioned to her that,
he had an ex-boss that was
going through a divorce,
and cookie says,
"wow, small world.
My boss handles divorces,"
and jim came knocking.
He probably thought I'd give him
a neighborly discount.
I did not.
Well, good luck on the case,
I guess.
Thanks.
Don't, don't work too late.
Has anybody seen cookie
since she worked
for the bannermans?
Mariah said
that she went to work
for the mcnamara campaign.
I mean, she probably put up
half of these signs.
Why do you ask?
Just wondering.
You think cookie is
the poplar point thief?
Come on!
Don't kid yourself, jessie.
We're all suspects.
She might've stolen
a little bit of money
from the bannermans,
but she's no
criminal mastermind.
How can you be so sure?
Elementary, my dear watson.
Hey, carly.
How are you, sweet girl?
What?
Nothing.
Just...
thinking what an excellent mom
you'll make.
Alright, let's get back
to the real investigating, huh?
Thanks.
Hiya!
- Hi.
Did you come to volunteer?
Well, I was just passing by,
and I wanted to see what
all the excitement was about.
Well! It is about a mayor
who can protect his citizens,
and has a terrific new business
and development plan.
Sold.
Great! Pen?
I'm so sorry.
That's better.
I'm a little bit of a klutz.
No, you're not,
you're just someone
who obviously has
a lot of responsibilities.
Thank you.
I wish my last employer
saw it that way.
What were you doing
before you were a...
campaign superwoman?
I... I was a nanny.
Not a very good one, I'm afraid.
It got complicated.
Life is complicated.
So what brought you here?
My cousin knows gil.
Actually,
knows somebody who knows gil,
old college buddy or something.
But here I am,
"outreach coordinator."
What do you say?
You wanna join?
We could use loads of help.
I'm gonna think about it,
but I will take you up
on the button.
Sure thing.
Ooh!
- My gosh.
I'm so sorry. Again.
Why don't I put that on myself?
Good idea!
- Okay.
I hope to see you around...?
Calvin.
Cookie.
Cookie.
Okay. Great. Bye.
- Bye.
It was renee donahoe.
I saw them.
Are you sure it was mcnamara?
Like he just jumped right off
of one of his campaign posters.
Wouldn't mayor danielson
like to know
that juicy little tidbit
about her "happily married"
opponent.
He'd probably just deny it
and play the "I'll
keep you safe" card.
I mean, if he'd cheat on his
wife, he'd cheat on bellingham,
and he'd probably cheat
to become mayor.
I don't know, but if they don't
catch this burglar soon,
it's gonna be
"hello, mayor mcnamara."
Well, all the more reason
to keep playing detective.
Am not!
- Are too!
I am not!
Hey!
Whoa... what's
going on, guys?
Emma called me a bank robber.
I'm not a bank robber!
I'm not an anything-robber.
Emma?
Why in the world would you
call ava a "bank robber?"
Not bank robber,
"bankrobbed!"
That's what my dad
told my mom they are,
'cause they have no money.
Do you have any money?
See? Then
you're bank-robbed.
Just like me.
The word's "bankrupt," stupid.
Okay! Um...
hey, girls?
Why don't you go feed
the ducks, okay?
Yeah! Yeah!
We'll be there soon.
- Let's go!
What was that?
The warners don't
know that I know this,
but I overheard paul
telling mrs. Warner
that he filed chapter 11
for "tires on the go."
He said that
they were bleeding cash,
and, evidently, emma knows, too.
No wonder
he's been so preoccupied.
I just keep waiting
for them to tell me
that they can't afford
to keep me on anymore.
Then I guess that would mean
the cat's out of the bag.
Might soon be anyway.
Hopefully not.
Poplar point
is all about perception.
Especially when your neighbors
are also your clients.
Exactly. So can we just...?
Well, according
to these internal records,
"tires on the go"
is in a whole lot of quicksand.
Warner's in big trouble.
Which includes
keeping up appearances,
which takes money.
From somewhere.
You sound like
he's robbing his neighbors.
Do you really think
that mr. Tires-on-the-go
is sneaking around poplar point
with a pistol and a ski mask?
Or maybe somebody's
doing it for him.
Later, pal.
So I'm driving,
and I'm sitting there,
literally,
thinking about what
I'm gonna cook for dinner,
and then I hit the pothole,
and...
Tire blew.
Happens. A lot.
Lucky for us.
How's business?
Well, we're hanging in there.
Can't always
be christmas, right?
Tire's in stock.
Autograph there and there,
and we'll get that tire
changed out for you
as soon as we can.
Hey!
Nanny matt.
What brings you
to my humble establishment?
It's "mike," pete... paul.
"Mr. warner."
Had a fight with a pothole.
And you lost, obviously.
Well, we'll fix you right up,
won't we, dean?
Absolutely, boss.
You be careful.
Okay, guy?
How's that gig
working out for you?
You know, the nanny thing.
It's good.
It's really good.
It's hard, but very rewarding.
Like getting to spend
all your time with jessie?
You like her, don't you?
You don't?
Yeah, I do,
but we kinda work together.
And you work for her boss, so...
so you don't think
that I should date her?
I think that's pretty much
up to jessie, don't you?
What can I say?
I'm an optimist.
Anyways, why don't you
go grab a seat,
and we'll get that
minivan of yours
all changed up
in about 20 minutes.
Hey! Let me guess...
You're here because you heard
I was experimenting
with mariah's chili recipe,
and you want a preview, right?
Listen. I got a strange
phone call from dean.
Did you go
by the tire store today?
Yeah.
Did you tell him
he shouldn't go out with me?
What? No!
No.
I mean...
I may have mentioned that
his work might get in the way,
but, look, look...
Who you go out with is
absolutely none of my business,
and if you like this guy,
then...
go for it.
Really.
Mike, you want
to protect people,
and that's...
That's great, really,
but I don't need any protection
from anybody. Okay?
I'm a big girl.
Yeah. Sure, okay.
I'm sorry.
I hope the chili's a hit.
I'll see you later.
Ava...
what is it?
What's wrong?
They gave the part
to tara goldfarb!
Said I could "understudy."
I don't want to study!
I want to act!
I'm so sorry.
You should be!
Your advice was stupid!
They didn't care how
sleeping beauty actually sleeps.
Well, I mean, that was
the only part of the whole...
Holy moly.
How did you get the black eye?
By standing up for myself.
Only brody stood up bigger,
faster...
and stronger.
- Are you okay?
Do I look okay?
Truthfully?
You look like one tough dude
that I would never mess with.
You're a jerk, nanny mike.
Can anyone guess the shape
of tonight's meat loaf?
It was a map
of the united states.
By the way,
ava, you're about
to eat florida.
Just saying.
You know what we should do?
Just for fun...
learn sleeping beauty's lines
anyway.
Just like you got the part.
I'll help you out.
Hey, luke-man, I got an idea.
After school tomorrow,
we should head down
to the college,
and practice a little bit
on a real regulation-size court.
Why don't you
keep your ideas...
...to yourself?
- Lucas.
Hey!
- You're being rude.
Okay, you guys,
have an awesome day
at school today.
When you get home,
we're gonna
do something super-fun!
Okay...
rough morning?
I have officially
lost my superman status
with ava and lucas.
The nanny game can be brutal.
Hey, I'm sorry
about the other day.
I really didn't mean
to make you mad.
I should get going.
Want some company?
I promise to keep up.
Sure.
Okay. I'll go lock up.
You get started
and I'll catch up.
Look, mike, I like you.
You seem like a really good guy.
But...
The dreaded "but."
But anything more
is just too close for comfort.
You know?
We'd have no privacy.
People would talk,
it could get in the way
of our work, and...
And, not that I was even asking,
but let's just say that I was.
Are you saying that
you wanna play it safe
rather than take
a chance on the unknown?
What kind of detective
does that?
Not a very committed one,
I'm afraid.
I'm sorry, mike.
Chester,
please tell me you did this?
Captain?
Iogan.
Bad news.
I'll leave that...
there.
Well...
goodbye.
Even if it is your fault
we were robbed,
I don't think it's your fault
I wasn't picked for the show.
I was just trying to help.
You didn't.
But that's okay.
I'm sorry I called you a jerk.
I have been called way worse,
believe me.
I believe you.
And I'm still gonna
try out for the team
next week.
Iucas, that's great!
Remember, square up,
bend those knees...
follow through.
Kids, can you give
your dad and me a minute
to speak with mike?
Thanks.
Mike...
lucas's black eye...
we understand that, you know,
these things happen, but...
how, after
I specifically asked you
to set the alarm
whenever you leave the house,
could you forget?
That's just it, I didn't.
I did not forget the alarm.
I'm sure of it. I'm...
Pretty sure.
Well, either way,
a beat was missed on your watch,
and our home was invaded.
What if the kids had been home?
But I mean, they weren't.
Isn't that what's
most important?
We hate this, we really do,
mike...
but you've lost our trust.
That's what's most important.
Well, um...
say goodbye to the kids for me.
Of course.
- We will.
You can't take me off this case!
I have a ton of leads,
I'm zeroing in on a suspect,
and I finally have the trust of
the people of the neighborhood!
Yeah...
until your family's house,
of all possible houses,
was robbed.
I'm sending in rosario.
What? That wet blanket?
She is not gonna last one day
at the bannermans.
Maybe a day is all she'll need.
Frank, please, at least let me
keep working it from here.
I can't.
I've already reassigned you.
Have fun.
"Pet psychic" fraud?
What am I,
in "detective jail?"
That's all, logan.
Hey!
- Hi.
Been looking for ya.
Yeah?
You have a minute to talk?
Sure.
I got you something.
You like it?
Um, wow, dean, it's gorgeous.
I can't take this.
It's too expensive.
Just think of it
as a special gift
for a special woman.
Go on, try it on.
Jess, just...
give me a chance.
You won't be disappointed.
I promise.
I just hope jessie
doesn't end up dating dean.
She deserves a lot better.
Like, I don't know, you?
He shouldn't have ratted me out
like that.
He totally
twisted my words around.
Not cool.
It's simple.
He pegged you
as the competition,
and wanted you
out of the picture.
In fact,
bannermans getting robbed,
you getting fired...
Perfect timing for that dude.
Couldn't have worked out better
if he'd planned it himself.
Seriously?
Bankruptcy can
make strange bedfellows.
What if dean
is doing warner's dirty work?
Mike...
I really think
you've gotta let this one go.
Yeah, okay.
You're right.
Besides, I, I've got
a fake pet psychic to apprehend.
Nice try, lucas.
"Nice try"
doesn't get you on the team.
Are you any good?
Well, I played a little
in high school, but...
You're worse than I ever was.
Just a little rusty, that's all.
I guess that means you can't
help me practice my lay-up.
Maybe you should
ask your father.
I'll never make the team.
Wanna play "princess"?
How do you do that?
I don't know!
You just do.
Nanny mike knew how,
and he was a man.
Obviously, a very versatile man.
I'll play sleeping beauty
and you can play
the ugly sister.
I have work to do.
At least we know you're not
the poplar point thief.
What does that mean?
Robbery number nine
just went down.
See ya.
Wait! I'll go with you.
No, you won't.
You're not a cop, remember?
Not at poplar point.
I'll go in disguise!
No one will know. I can help.
You already went there
in disguise for three weeks,
and helped no one.
I was at the park,
come home, and we're robbed.
Have you noticed anyone new
or unusual in the area
in the last few days?
No. Nothing. At all.
We're taking this
very seriously at city hall.
We have the police working
24 hours a day.
This is something
we will not stand for
in our community or our city.
We are going to use
any resource available to us.
Driving under the influence,
bad checks,
couple petty thefts...
pretty good hunch after all.
Now we just gotta
get milano to listen.
Once the prints
come back from the lab,
we'll know for sure.
Get back to the bannermans
and keep in touch...
what are you doing?
My job.
...leading up to...
Logan, we're in
the middle of something.
You need to run this for prints.
A pen?
A "tires on the go" pen.
It's a bit of a long shot,
but I think it's connected
to the robberies.
The robberies
you're no longer on.
Fine. You know what?
You give it to the captain.
If it works,
you can take all the credit.
Just, please, do it.
Hey...
how are lucas and ava?
Delightful.
Good.
Captain!
What are you doing here?
Needed to talk to you
in person, in private.
Okay. Sure, come on in.
Sorry about the mess.
That's okay,
I've seen your desk.
I'll stand.
Pizza?
Iogan, just listen to me.
We ran that pen you gave us.
A print showed up.
A partial match with one
from today's robbery,
and some others we have on file.
Dean bartons's?
You gonna bring him in?
I would if I could.
Can't, 'cause he's gone.
Vanished.
Wow.
Did you question warner?
Or jessie? Jessie
probably knows where he is...
No. That's your job.
Wait, what are you saying?
Nanny mike is back in business.
You're returning
to the bannermans.
Really? What about ramos?
Long story short...
They hated her,
missed you, want you back.
Tomorrow morning, first thing.
The agency told the bannermans
you're starting a new nanny job,
but will stay
until they find someone else.
is that pepperoni?
Yes, it is.
Go ahead.
Just so you know,
I'm still going
for that promotion.
Just so you know,
you can have it.
I'm here to crack a case
and to watch out for a family.
Nanny mike! You're back!
Hey!
Aww...
that lady was such a loser.
I had to teach her
how to play basketball.
She wouldn't play
"princess" with me.
And her meat loaf
looked like pooh.
Will you come
to my tryouts later?
Yeah!
You got it, man.
And my play after?
Wait!
You're in the play?
The school just called.
Tara goldfarb
got the chicken pox.
What?
But what about all the dialogue?
I did what you said,
I pretended I got the part
and I learned all the lines.
All by myself!
I'm gonna be a star!
Not if you don't
get to school on time.
Alright, guys!
Go, go, go!
See you later!
- Bye!
Hey, luke-man!
Remember, you got this!
I know!
You know why? You.
We overreacted
after the robbery.
We are so sorry, mike.
Forgive us?
Absolutely.
Welcome back, mike.
Great to be back.
We're late, as usual.
There's your key.
We'll meet you tonight
at the kids' events.
Meanwhile, the kitchen
is a total disaster...
No worries. I got it.
Thank you.
Thanks, buddy.
- Have a great day!
Bye, babe. Love you.
- Bye. You too.
Chester! Hey, buddy.
Stay right here.
I'll be right back.
Okay? I'll be right back.
Hey-hey, mr. Warner.
Well, look who's
back on the block.
Yeah, you look like
you're in a bit of a hurry.
Yeah, it's a madhouse
at work today.
See you later, matt.
It's mike, actually.
Is jessie at home?
Jessie?
Nah, I haven't
seen her all morning.
She's probably out
buying diapers or something.
"A good nanny
never runs out of diapers."
Yeah. Well, she's gone,
my wife's with the baby,
I'm running late...
That's all I know.
A "madhouse" at work, huh?
Yeah, right.
Miss me?
What do you think?
It was great
to have a "manny" around!
Thank you.
Hey, have you guys
seen jessie recently?
Not since the break-in
at gloria's.
Maybe she ran off
with that dean.
Yeah.
With dean?
What are you talking about?
Well, boy gave her
a fancy bracelet.
I would've said yes.
What kind of bracelet?
Twisty gold thing,
with little diamonds.
Must've cost a pretty penny.
- Yeah.
He didn't snatch it
outta some box of cracker jacks,
that's for sure.
Yeah.
I bet he didn't.
What a guy.
Anyway, I've got
a house to clean,
so I'll, um, I'll
see you guys later.
Okay.
- Sure.
Yeah. It's logan.
Listen.
Meet me at "tires on the go,"
and bring back-up.
Matt.
What are you doing here?
For crying out loud.
It's "mike."
Where's dean?
That's what I'd like to know.
Today, of all days,
he's a no-show.
You're lying.
I know he's here.
What are you talking about?
And who are you
to call me a liar?
You're just a nanny.
Is that right?
And what's that?
This is exactly
what it looks like.
And I know you hired dean
to rob poplar point
to get you through bankruptcy.
So where is he?
And where are you
both holding jessie?
Jessie? I already told you,
I haven't seen her.
W-What's this all about?
Okay.
Yes.
My company is currently
under chapter 11,
and if you really must know,
yeah, I'm broke,
but I don't know any more
about these robberies
than, frankly,
it seems that you do.
What have you been doing
this whole time, anyway?
Playing "undercover nanny?"
Mike, mike.
You don't have to do this.
Alright? I may not
be the nicest guy in the world,
but I've never cheated
anyone, ever.
Maybe if I had cheated,
I wouldn't be going
to bankruptcy court.
Don't you ever say that anyone
"is just a nanny" ever again.
You got that?
Nothing here, guys.
Let's move on.
Iogan, what
the heck is going on?
I think I'm onto something.
Just follow me.
Okay, let's go!
Let's go!
Mcnamara headquarters?
What is this, logan?
You can fire me if I'm wrong.
I can fire you if you're right.
Fine. You ready to
catch this guy or not?
Calvin, hold back
and follow logan's lead.
You other guys,
just hang out here.
Okay. Thanks.
Calvin! Welcome back.
Did you come to volunteer?
That's great!
We're super-swamped and we can...
Where's dean bartons?
What?
Who's dean bartons?
Your cousin.
I don't have a cousin dean.
I do have an uncle named don,
but he lives in spain,
so that's prob...
Calvin, who are these people?
Mike...
why is she calling you calvin?
Cookie, please direct us
to dean bartons and gil mcnamara
or we will arrest you
on suspicion of
the poplar point burglaries.
So that's a "no"
on volunteering, then?
You got 10 seconds, ma'am.
Okay.
Follow me into our warehouse.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Go ahead.
They're up there.
Keep an eye on her.
Hey, grab her!
- Stop her!
It's locked!
Your star witness
just locked us in.
You're killin' me, logan.
- Check upstairs!
Okay, help me.
It's me, cookie!
Open up!
Don't ask any questions.
Just get her out of there. Now.
We're locked in.
It won't budge.
Hey!
Cookie, I can't believe
that you're a part of this.
Mike? m...
Cover the back!
Everybody out of the van!
Get out! Out, out! Everyone!
Let's go!
Everyone out!
- Let's go!
Let's go!
- Okay, okay.
Come on, get over there!
Get over!
Mike? What are
you doing here?
Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know!
Captain frank milano,
19th precinct.
Let's unhandcuff this lady.
Sir. Yes, sir.
Mike, why are you
with the police?
I've been working undercover
as a nanny, to help solve
the robberies. Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What? You're a cop?
A detective, yeah.
A real one.
- I knew it!
I knew that there was
something wrong with this guy!
Great, now how about telling us
what's been going on here?
Allow me. Captain,
this is all about politics.
Mcnamara was down in the polls,
and so he needed
to cook up some kind of scandal
to sabotage mayor danielson.
What better way to do that
than a string of robberies
right in her very own backyard,
to show that the mayor couldn't
even protect her neighbors?
And through his old buddy,
paul warner,
mcnamara found the perfect guy
to do the actual stealing,
dean bartons.
You are way out of line, pal.
Meanwhile, dean here's
so sadly trying
to get jessie out on a date,
for, like, forever,
decided to bribe her for a date
with a fancy gold bracelet...
Is that the one?
- That's the one.
The bracelet that he took
from the bannermans
when he robbed the place
a couple days ago.
I didn't rob anyone!
And that bracelet
was not a bribe.
Give it up, you liar.
I went over to dean's
the other night,
to return the bracelet.
I told him that a gift
like that didn't feel right,
like it didn't feel right
to go out with him.
It's too much.
It doesn't feel right.
And then before I knew it,
he accusing me
of accusing him of stealing it.
What doesn't feel right?
I mean, you're acting
like I stole the bracelet
or something.
So I finally said,
"well, did you?"
What'd he say?
- Nothing.
He just glared at me like
he was gonna take my head off,
and that's when I saw it.
It was the camouflage backpack.
I tried to run,
I tried to scream,
but be was too fast,
he pulled me inside,
he locked the door.
Dean obviously
called mcnamara and told him
that jessie was onto them
and took her
to campaign headquarters,
panicked,
locked her in the winnebago
until they could figure out
what to do with her.
That's abduction, by the way.
I'm curious...
How did you bypass
all the home alarms?
Cookie?
You want to take this one?
When I started
at the bannermans',
I had awful credit card debt.
Like, scary awful,
and I mentioned it to dean...
Your cousin.
Step-cousin.
Well, he told me that he would
pay off my credit cards
if I could get him some
information that he needed
to, well...
work his way into a few houses.
I was so desperate, so...
So she befriended the nannies.
She would walk us home,
for coffee,
chitchat...
while secretly memorizing
the security codes
on the alarm systems.
She even found made her way
into the donahoes',
while skimming money
from the bannermans,
making copies of their keys.
Wow.
Jessie, you are good.
Yeah, something like that.
I mean, I could go on, captain.
Like about your affair
with renee donahoe...
Okay. That's enough.
Good work...
sergeant logan.
Hey-hey-hey!
Drop it!
Just drop your guns!
And let me go!
- Dean!
Put them down.
Down, down!
What are you doing?
Take it easy!
You got him?
Jessie, you okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
- Yeah.
Let's get these crooks
to the station.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
You weren't doing so bad
yourself right there!
What, do you take
self-defense classes, too?
Just every other saturday.
Of course you do.
I am... I am really, really sorry
that you had to
go through all this.
Looks like I needed
your protection after all.
Thank you, sarge.
I didn't want to lie to you.
I really didn't.
I was just...
I was just doing my job.
Well, listen, you seem like
a really good cop.
Almost as good a cop
as you are a nanny.
Well, you know,
I am a pretty big stud
with a juice box,
thanks to you.
Hey! I gotta...
I gotta go!
The kids' events are, like,
happening right now. Um...
you wanna come with me?
I mean, it'll be fun.
Yeah, after 15 hours of that,
I'm in, it sounds fun.
Great. Great,
and then maybe later,
we could just go out
for a nice, romantic dinner,
no kids, no cops, no robbers,
just...
just us.
Just us?
I like the sound of that.
Let's go.