Alter Egos (2012) Movie Script
- [Yawning]
- On capitol hill today,
the senate will vote on a bill
to cut funding for superheroes.
- They think
they can change anywhere.
The world is not
their changing room.
- Superheroes who are balancing
multiple identities
have a fragile and even tenuous
grasp on reality.
- Since the superheroes
imprisoned
all of the supervillains
over ten years ago,
they have had no enemy to fight.
That, coupled with recent
press coverage of superheroes
living on luxury lifestyles
with taxpayers' money,
has raised questions
about whether the government
should continue subsidizing
the supercorps.
Up next..
[Upbeat pop music]
- No effing way.
- Oh, God.
- I love superheroes.
Are you fishman, man?
- No.
- Which one are you?
- I'm Fridge.
The "F" stands for Fridge.
It's short for refrigerator.
- My name's Jose Maria
de Las Mercedes acostaz.
- Okay.
- People just call me moon dog.
- Great.
That's great.
- Yo, 'frigerator, dude,
you want some?
- You know,
I don't think that I can.
- It's good shit.
- Aren't you working?
- It's off-season, man.
There's no one around.
- I'm kind of on duty, so...
- What happens
when superheroes get high?
- I don't know.
- Do their powers get stronger?
- I don't know.
- All right.
Stay super, bro.
- You, too.
- Stay super.
[Suspenseful music]
- You know, it's funny.
Your name is C-Thru,
but I can see right through you.
Are you working for somebody
that wants to help me escape
or someone that wants
to kill me?
- Shut up.
- You're not doing this job
for the money, are you?
It's for the promotion,
the status you want,
the respect you want.
- Everybody thinks superheroes
win the lottery, huh?
Because they're born
with powers?
No one wants to appreciate
the hard work,
the sacrifices that we put in
every day.
Damn it.
- Feels good
to speak to the shrink
once in a while,
doesn't it?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Good.
How you doing?
- Good.
Hey.
- I--I was gonna knock,
but then I remembered
that you could--
- see through walls, yeah.
- Right, so I just...
What are you doing
in this place?
- I got a really bad stomach flu
last night,
and I had to stop here,
and so I called you in
for backup.
- Wait a minute, aren't you
supposed to have, like,
a police escort
or something like that?
- Solo on this one.
Cops aren't our biggest fans
at the moment, you know?
- Really?
- I'm actually
feeling better now.
You want to get some breakfast?
I'm starving.
- No, you know what?
I think let's just handle
the prisoner transport.
You and I can get some food
some other time.
- You know,
protocol says that, um...
We can't move him till dark now.
- What?
New protocol?
I'm supposed to hang out
with Emily's mom later, damn it.
- Hey, you know, but there's
a diner right down the street.
Why don't we get in our civvies
and go?
I got to get out of this thing.
My butt is itching.
- I'd rather keep the suit on.
- Why?
- You know, I just feel
more comfortable as Fridge.
- How long have you
had this thing on?
- A pretty long time.
Pretty long time.
- But you got civilian clothes
in the bag.
- Don't look through my stuff,
okay?
Please.
- All right.
All right.
- I'm just--please.
- I forgot.
I forgot how much you hate that.
- It's the weirdest thing.
- But, you know,
you really should
get that thing washed
eventually,
and take a shower.
- I think my phone's dead.
I guess I'll just send Emily
an email.
Where's the check-in office?
- Try where it says "check-in."
- Oh.
All right.
Good.
- All right, I'm gonna, um...
I'm gonna go back to my room
for a minute and get something.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
[Phone ringing]
- C-Thru, talk to me.
Tell me,
how's the mission going?
- Well, he hasn't
done it yet, sir.
- This is time-sensitive,
C-Thru.
Why are you stalling?
And may be going through
some kind of identity crisis.
It's my opinion that we find
an alternative person to--
- no, no, no.
It's got to be Fridge.
Don't question my amazingness.
- Sorry, sir, I would never
question your amazingness.
- You realize, C-Thru,
if this works,
you're gonna get
that big promotion
we've been talking about.
- Right, and I'm also doing it
for the corps, sir.
- For the corps!
- This is not a good day
to call me
because I can not spare
some sympathy
my own feeling
is mostly unclear
and when I'm talking to you
I'm not here
[Bell dinging]
- Hi.
Are you with the other one?
- Yeah, C-Thru.
Room 40.
Um...Can I use your Internet?
- That's against our policy.
Sorry.
- Yeah, I know, but...
I'm Fridge, so...
- Who?
- The refrigerator.
New ice on the block?
Cold boy?
- No, I--
- it's not doing anything
for you at all?
There's nothing there.
- I don't really follow
superhero stuff.
- I shoot ice out of my hands.
Look, let me show you
what I'm talking about.
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
And there it is.
- That's $15 for the mug.
- What?
No, no, I was just trying
to show you that I could--
- you freeze it, you pay for it.
- All right, I'll pay
for the mug.
Look, can I use the Internet,
please?
I'm a superhero.
You got to help me.
- I thought that meant
that you're supposed to help me.
- Well, if you were being robbed
or raped or something,
I would help you.
- Somebody say superhero?
I fight crime, too.
- Oh, great.
- Yeah, I applied
to be one of you guys.
They said my power
wasn't complete enough.
- Jimmy, please?
- No, I don't blame supercorps.
You know, they have
their standards.
Want to see my power?
- Uh...
Yeah, sure.
[Whooshing sound]
- I can turn invisible.
[Whooshing sound reverses]
- Oh.
- But only for 2.3 seconds.
- Well, that's not--
that's not bad.
That's not bad.
I, uh...
You know, there are therapists
that can help you work on that
if you want to hold it longer.
- Nah, it's okay.
I got all the power I need
right here.
- Jimmy, can you please
put your gun away
before you hurt yourself?
- You guys aren't allowed
to carry guns, are you?
[Door creaking]
- No, uh...
[Door creaking]
- Is there a problem here,
officer?
- Two superheroes.
How blessed we are.
- Please holster your firearm,
sir.
- Or what?
Are you going to see through it?
- [Chuckles weakly]
- You know, superheroes
used to be allowed to pack heat,
until one of them went
on a rampage,
shot his wife,
and then shot himself.
- Let me tell you something.
That superhero's name
was restore-o,
and he was a great man.
- Look, we're both
on the same side here.
- The same side, huh?
Then why is the government
cutting your funding
and not ours?
- Jimmy!
Would you please just go?
That's the last time
I'm going to tell you.
- This isn't over.
[Whispers]
I love you.
- [Sighs]
- Can I use your Internet now?
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- And you still owe me
for the mug.
- You are so annoying.
- Sorry about this.
You can charge that to the room.
Hey, I'm sorry that asshole cop
mentioned your dad like that.
- Oh, who cares?
I'm used to it, right?
- Your dad
was a great superhero.
- Really?
How great could he be?
Either he did
what everybody said he did,
or he was too stupid,
he just let it happen.
- Yeah, well, the supercorps
said he didn't do it.
- Then why couldn't they
prove it?
- Well--
- no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't want to debate it.
I don't want to talk about it.
I've got my own life.
Got my own problems.
Like, for example,
when I don't meet Emily today,
she's gonna hate me,
exactly like she hates Brendan.
Unless I create
another alter ego for myself.
- Don't do that.
- I might do it.
- When's the last time
you were Brendan?
- [Sighs]
Technically, this is supposed
to be my day off.
- You have to clear
your schedule.
You don't just punch a clock
on a mission.
With great power
comes great respon--
- yeah, all right,
I get the point.
Can I call her from your phone?
- You can't use
a superhero phone.
What is she going to think
when she sees the caller I.D.?
That I was going to Hampton bays
to meet you,
so I don't think she's
really going to freak out.
- You told her
about this mission?
- She's my girlfriend.
- Oh, come on, man, no.
She's Brendan's girlfriend.
She's not supposed to know
about superhero stuff.
- Okay, well, it's not really
that simple.
Because she's, um...
She's cheating on me.
On Brendan.
- Oh.
- With me.
Fridge.
- Look, bottom line is that
Emily is not happy with Brendan.
She doesn't want to be dating
some broke wannabe cartoonist.
- This is a seriously
unprofessional situation.
- She deserves more
than just hanging around,
ordering takeout,
and watching reruns
with that guy.
- Is that for dramatic effect?
- Wh-what?
- Calling him "that guy"?
It's you.
You're him.
You're that guy.
- It's funny.
I don't feel like him.
Not, like, one little bit.
I actually think
that I'm taller than Brendan.
You think that's possible?
- No.
- And then I remembered
that Fridge
was always a way bigger hit
with the ladies.
So when I, Fridge, saw her
walking down the street,
I froze the sidewalk, right,
to make her slip and fall
so that I could catch her
and save her.
- [Gasps]
- And then...It was amazing.
She had never looked
at Brendan--
at me--like that before.
And then when I, Brendan,
called her to ask
what she was doing that night,
she said she was sick
and had to stay in,
when really she had plans
with me, Fridge.
I took her to some place
that Brendan could never afford.
There were these guys
who owed me a favor.
I kept their freezer cold
during the blackout.
And then we went
back to her apartment.
[Laughter]
One thing led to another...
[Glass shattering]
You see why I don't want to
change back into my alter ego?
If I become Brendan,
who knows what he's going to do?
He might do something stupid,
and break up with her.
Then he's going to ruin this
great thing
that I've got going on
with Emily.
- Y-you know, you really
shouldn't be saying this
in front of anyone.
Superhero stuff, alter egos,
top secret.
- No, because people are going
to think that you're insane.
- Why can't you just
be happy for me?
You know, the sex with Fridge
is way better.
- [Sighs]
Wait, why is it better?
- Chicks dig the costume.
They dig the costume.
- [Clears throat]
- Oh, we're not accepting
superhero credit anymore.
Sorry.
We take cash.
[Door creaking]
- Ow!
Damn it.
Jimmy, I know you're there.
- I brought you a present.
So you can test out
your fashion line on something.
- Um, it's a little bit small
for that.
And it's not really
a fashion line.
It's just a hobby.
- Well, unfortunately,
hobbies are illegal
in this town.
Gonna have to frisk you, ma'am.
- You really...
You don't have to frisk me.
- Your tits are so much nicer
than my wife's.
- Jimmy!
- That was a compliment.
- Okay, here's the thing:
I felt sorry for you,
because your wife
kicked you out.
Now I don't even really
feel sorry for you.
- What do you feel?
- Nothing.
- Do you want me
to get divorced
so that we can make it official?
- I don't want it
to be official.
- Because I will.
- Never was official.
You can go now.
[Sighs]
- I can't believe the crap
they write about me.
I mean, my suits
aren't taxicab yellow.
- Ugh, of course.
It goes to voicemail,
but her mailbox is full.
Unbelievable.
- What happened to you, bro?
You used to be
such a ladies' man
before you met this girl.
- [Sighs]
I don't know.
Love changes you, I guess.
- I wouldn't call it love.
It's more like kryptonite
for your balls.
All right, look, why don't you
go back to the front desk,
but this time, go as Brendan?
- Okay.
Maybe she'll feel sorry for him.
[Upbeat pop music]
[Horn honking]
- Suck my balls, superfreaks.
- Son of a bitch.
Hey, how do I look?
- You got a little dirt on you.
But good.
Good.
You look...Normal.
How do you feel?
- Emily's cheating on me.
Man, I got to dump the slut
before she dumps me.
Shit.
- Dump Emily?
But I thought...
Whoa.
- [Sighs]
Hello.
- Hello.
How can I help you?
- Uh...
I need to break up
with my girlfriend.
Like, today.
Like, right now.
- Not on my account, I hope.
I'm kidding.
[Laughs]
Wait, sorry--
you're serious?
- Um...
- Why are you telling me?
- Because I'm afraid
that if I don't do it right now,
I'm gonna lose the courage.
So despite what that sign says,
I have to use your Internet.
So I can email her
and break up with her.
- That's not a really nice way
of breaking up with someone.
- Well, she's cheating on me,
so...
- Oh, I see.
Yeah, that's messed up.
- Look, you know, this isn't
particularly pleasant for me,
or easy.
- I know; I've been trying
to end something
with someone for weeks.
- What's stopping you?
- His inability to understand
words that come out of my mouth
when I talk.
- Is he foreign?
- Nope.
Just stupid.
- Right.
- You 100% sure
that she's cheating on you?
- Pretty sure.
The guy that she's cheating with
kind of told me.
- You know him?
- I know him.
We're sort of, like, friends.
- Ouch.
- Jesus, dude.
- Oh, it gets worse.
The guy's a superhero.
- [Groans]
I had a couple of those idiots
come in here.
- Yeah.
- They seem like such jerks.
- Guess she likes men in tights?
- What is with that?
It's like each one's got to have
his own stupid little outfit?
Why?
They're such egomaniacs.
- Fine.
I sympathize.
- Really?
- Come with me.
- Thank you.
- No porn, though.
- I can't promise anything.
- Is there a really cool bug
there or something?
- No.
- Well, why are you staring
at the wall so closely?
- I'm staring through the wall,
genius.
I'm a--
I'm a superhero.
- What's your superpower?
- X-ray vision, moron.
- Can you see
through my clothes?
- No.
- Why not?
- I mean, I can,
but I don't want--
ugh!
- Well, what else can you do?
Do you have X-ray hearing?
- No!
But I can read lips pretty good.
- Well, that's not really
a superpower.
- Isn't there a joint somewhere
that needs to be smoked?
- How do you compete
with superman,
who has X-ray vision, but tons
of other cool powers, too,
like flying,
running really fast?
Catching bullets
with his teeth's pretty cool.
- Superman is a totally
fictional, made-up character.
He's not real.
Real superheroes
only have one superpower.
That's why we work together
in the supercorps.
- So you know
the real identities
of all the superheroes
in the supercorps?
- Yeah, I know a lot of them.
- Is Sandra bullock a superhero?
- No.
- Salman rushdie?
- Yeah, salman is.
Look, I got to get back to work.
- Me, too.
[Glass squeaking]
- "You are a cheating slut.
I am breaking up with you."
- You know what I do
when I'm feeling insecure
about something?
- I don't know
if I'm feeling insecure--
- I tell myself,
"be who you are.
"Say what you feel, because
those who matter don't mind,
and those who mind,
don't matter."
- Okay, wow, well,
that's really good.
I should get you to write this.
- Oh, I didn't write it.
Dr. Seuss did.
- [Chuckles]
- What, you think it's weird
that I quote Dr. Seuss?
- No, I love Dr. Seuss.
He's like Shakespeare.
You know, I only understand,
like, 30% of it,
but the 30%
that I do understand,
is just unbelievably beautiful.
- That is what is so great
about Dr. Seuss, though.
I mean, he has all these weird
names for things,
like, um, barbaloots.
- Barbaloots.
- Truffula trees.
- Oh, man.
- The lorax.
- Are truffula trees
the ones that look like
these mega-delicious cupcakes?
- Yeah, pretty much everything
in Dr. Seuss's world
looks like something that would
give you a sugar high.
- [Sighs]
It's making me hungry.
- You're procrastinating.
Hit "send."
[Mouse clicks]
How do you feel?
- Incredibly good.
I feel really good.
- Good!
So what brings you out here,
anyway?
- Oh, uh, I illustrate
nature books,
so I'm out here
drawing nature stuff.
- Will you draw me something?
- Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, not right now,
because I have
performance anxiety.
I get shy.
[Cell phone buzzing]
- You watching Fridge?
- Yes, captain.
- Well, on the camera, I can see
shrink trying to kill himself.
- Wait, what?
[Dramatic music]
I'm not playing this.
- [Grunts]
[Zapping]
Why did you stop me?
If you want me dead,
what difference does it make
who kills me?
- Why are you in such a rush
to die?
- Oh, so now you're the shrink,
huh?
- You know, if he wants to die,
then why don't we just let him
kill himself?
Then we don't have
to go through with this.
- Please don't be a moron,
C-Thru.
We need this on tape.
Stop annoying me.
- Are you staying in town?
- Yeah.
Well, no, I'm not, actually.
I'm not staying anywhere.
- Do you need a room
for the night?
- Um...
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah, I guess I do.
Sure.
Does it ever get,
like, scary out here, all alone?
Because it's not quite like
the shining,
but it's a lot like the shining.
- [Laughs]
Well, it's fun
not having my parents around.
And we have a boat at the dock,
so I go out on the water a lot.
Plus, you never know
who you're going to meet.
- I feel like somebody must have
paid you to be nice to me.
- Um, I think that would make me
some kind of a call girl?
- Well, that's not exactly
what I meant.
- Okay, you're room 26.
Um...
So do you want to--
- I got to, um--
sorry, go ahead.
You first.
- I was just wondering
if you're hungry.
If you want to have lunch.
- Uh, no.
Yes!
Yes, no, I would love
to have lunch.
- Groovy, okay.
Well, I'll let you
get settled in,
and then we can do it in, say,
an hour?
- Yeah, great.
Groovy.
- You know, I myself,
if I could have a superpower,
I'd want to be super sexy.
You know, you'd get into
all the great nightclubs.
- Yeah, you know,
I don't think that would be
my first pick for--
- were no sexual relations
between that woman and myself.
- We need pistols.
You've seen the movies.
You shoot 'em in the leg.
You get 'em down.
How am I going to do that
with this?
[Flames crackling]
- The reason that he seems
so far behind,
is that he's way out in front.
I mean, I'll give you
an example.
You know, '89, sunburn
was taking me to nirvana shows.
This is pre-
teen spirit.
- That's why we started
the superbag initiative.
But then the superheroes
just started leaving their bags
everywhere.
I didn't think we'd have
to explain to them, you know,
you take the bag with you.
I mean, you don't leave
your clothes in the park
when you change, right?
I don't have to explain that
to you.
You'd think a superhero
might get that.
[Knock at door]
- Dude, where the hell
have you been?
I've been looking everywhere
for you.
- Did she see you knock
on my door?
- No, who?
- Because she hates superheroes.
So, I'm sorry,
but I can't be seen with you.
- Who?
- You, you!
Dude, you know, I saw you
with that needle in your arm.
- It's just...Medical.
It's fine.
- Medical?
I mean, Jesus, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's not important.
What's important now is--
I'm glad you finally showered.
Here.
Come on, put this on.
It's time to meet the prisoner.
- Hi, have you seen Fridge?
Scrawny blue guy?
He shoots ice out of his hands?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I seen him.
He's here.
- Where is he?
- He's right over there.
Up there.
- Fridge!
- Hey, is there
some kind of party here?
- You know, I don't want
to jinx anything,
but, um, man, I think I'm,
like, falling in love.
- With who?
- Claudel.
The girl at the front desk.
- What about Emily?
- Emily?
I dumped her.
She was cheating on me.
Weren't you listening
to anything I said before?
- Yeah, you said that the sex
with Emily was better than ever.
- The sex with Fridge
was better.
Look, it doesn't matter now,
because you know what?
I've got claudel.
- Great, you bond
over Dr. Seuss,
and all of a sudden you're ready
to get married.
- Oh, very nice, tea bags.
You've been spying on me.
- Not spying, dude.
Keeping tabs.
I mean, we're on a mission here.
And, frankly,
your behavior's been unsettling.
- I don't get it.
Why do we have to meet
the prisoner?
I mean, aren't we
just transporting him?
- No, this is what I've
been trying--
- Fridge!
- What the hell?
- Can you focus please?
- Fridge?
- What is she doing here?
- Who?
- Emily.
- No, no.
- Fridge!
- Fridge!
- You.
- Emily?
- You've got some nerve
breaking up with me in an email.
- I don't have time for this.
- Accusing me of cheating.
Who do you think you are,
Batman?
- No, I don't think I'm Batman.
Can I talk to you over here,
please?
Ow.
Don't hit me.
How did you find me?
- The note that you left
on my pillow, you idiot.
- Jesus Christ.
I am just going through
some shit right now.
- Well, don't take it out on me,
dickhead.
- Don't do that.
Can I say something please?
- What?
- Can I say one thing?
- What?
- I really like you.
- You do?
- Yeah, I do.
We had some good times together.
- Then why do you want
to break up with me?
- Why do you think?
- I don't know.
That's why I'm asking you.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Uh-huh, why?
- Yeah.
- Um...
- Why?
- Shit.
You know what?
I'm going to, um...
Can you give me one second,
please?
- What?
- I need one second.
- Come on.
What the hell, Fridge?
Come on, Fridge!
- Excuse me, ma'am.
I was just looking...
For a friend of mine.
- You know, that's very rude.
- Oh, sorry.
Fridge!
I don't have time for this.
Fridge!
What are you doing?
- Hey, claudel.
- You got my 15 bucks?
- What?
Oh, shit, the mug.
Right.
Um...
Just let me say that I'd like
to apologize about that.
- I don't believe you,
cold sore,
or whatever your name is.
- [Chuckles]
Yes.
[Clears throat]
Okay.
Right.
Great.
I will be right there.
Hey.
Claudel?
Claudel!
Hey!
I'm really sorry
to keep you waiting.
- Oh, I figured you forgot.
Um, no biggie.
Are you still on for lunch?
- The thing is, could we push
lunch back just a little bit?
I'm kind of loaded down
with work stuff.
- Brendan?
Who the hell is this?
- Emily!
What are you doing here?
- What do you think, idiot?
- Oh, God.
- Brendan.
Can I talk to you
a moment alone, please?
- God damn it.
- You know him?
- No, no.
No, absolutely not.
- It's important.
- Does anybody look like
they need to be saved here,
captain honeybuzz?
We're all safe here,
so you can go.
Thank you.
Back to the hive.
I'm sorry, um--
this is my girlfriend.
This is my ex-girlfriend,
Emily.
- So you lied when you said
you had work?
- Oh, no, I didn't lie,
because I have work.
- Oh, is that what I am to you,
Brendan, work, huh?
- No, damn it, I didn't
mean that when I said work.
- Wow, okay, you two seem
like you have a lot to discuss.
- No.
- Yes, no, we do.
- I'll see you around.
- Great, that's great.
Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
- What are you doing here?
Are you here to apologize?
- Apologize to you?
Have you lost your mind?
- Well, no, because I know
you're sleeping
with that superhero, Fridge.
Yeah, guess how.
He told me.
So...
- But you two
are the same person.
- Who the hell told you that?
- Oh, come on.
You look the same.
You sound the same.
You smell the same.
You fuck the same.
- We fuck the same?
- No, not really.
But I'm your girlfriend, okay?
I know these things.
That superheroes
have these alter egos
to hide among civilians.
So you made up this
Clark Kent-type loser, okay?
I'm just trying to help you
get free of this geek.
You're just
so much more passionate
when you're
in that Fridge costume.
- No.
- Please?
- No, no, no.
Look, Brendan is the real me.
- What?
- Brendan is the real me.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
- Well, why would you
choose Brendan?
- It's not a choice, Emily.
That's just the way it is.
- Well, you should know that I'm
not gonna choose Brendan.
- Right, see, and that is why
we are breaking up.
- [Sighs]
I want to hear that from Fridge.
- Fridge is not available
right now.
- No, no, I came
all the way here to talk to him,
not this loser.
So if you want to break up
with me,
do it in your Fridge costume.
- That's not gonna
change anything.
This loser is breaking up
with you.
We're over.
- Fine.
Fine!
And, for the record,
it's not cheating
if it's with the same person.
- Okay, I take that back.
Just so long as you promise
that you will never
reveal my identity to anyone.
- You're insane.
I can't believe I let you ice
all over my face.
[Sighs]
- Well, that is a woman
who reads her emails.
I don't know what to say.
I'm--I'm--
- should I upgrade you
to the honeymoon suite?
- No, we are 100% broken up.
I promise you.
- You were just making out
all over the parking lot.
- She kissed me.
- The last thing that I need
is another guy
who has another girl.
- I know.
I'm really sorry about that.
Look, I want to get
to know you better,
and I want to have lunch
with you,
just sometime closer
to dinnertime.
- Are you asking me to dinner?
- Will you have dinner with me?
- Yes.
- Great.
That's very good news.
Okay.
Hey, dude.
Look, I'm sorry I've been
out of it,
but I got everything
sorted out now.
Emily's gone.
I got a dinner date
with claudel.
Weather's clearing up.
So let's just focus
on the mission, right?
So what'd you want to tell me
about the prisoner?
- He's your parents' killer.
- Okay, wow, Jesus.
I said I was sorry.
You don't have to be a dick
about it.
- I'm not joking.
I'm serious.
The supervillain who killed
your mom and dad
is in that room.
- What?
What are you talking about?
Nobody knows what happened
to my mom and dad.
- The supercorps knows.
- My dad had a gun in his hand.
- He was framed.
You don't believe me?
Go in there,
and ask him yourself.
He's tied up.
- The supercorps told you
this information, not me?
Why?
- They're afraid
of what you might do.
But I think you deserve to know.
I think you deserve a little bit
of time alone with him.
And if he should happen to try
to escape and get hurt...
Or killed...
No one will blame you.
- I'm gonna kill him.
Damn.
- Wait, what else do you want,
man?
This is the guy who killed
your mom and dad.
- What about
the supercorps oath, huh?
What about rule #27, no revenge?
- Nobody follows that rule.
- I mean, if I do this,
then what's the difference?
I'm no better than he is.
- No better than he is?
You think you're exaggerating
just a little bit?
I mean, this guy's
a psychopathic killer--
- all right, fine,
you know what I mean.
I kill him, I'm a villain, too.
Technically.
- All right,
if you don't want this--
- no, I'm not saying
I don't want it.
I'm just...
Trying to think.
I can't stop thinking
about this one memory of my dad.
Is this what he would
have wanted me to do?
He was a healer.
- Well, I guess the one thing
he couldn't heal was himself.
So, look, this guy's
obviously dangerous.
When you go in there,
I don't want you thinking
about Emily or claudel
or any other stupid girl.
- Dude, come on.
I'm a pro.
- Just be careful.
I'll be out here if you need me.
[Whispers]
I'm sorry, buddy.
- My associate
sent me in here to...
Ask you some questions.
- You say "associate"
as if he wasn't some pervert
trying to see through
everybody's clothes.
What's the "f" stand for?
- Fridge.
Short for refrigerator.
- Ice controlling--
one of the most common
superpowers.
That explains it.
All the best names
were probably already taken--
freezer burn, snowman,
and the first
openly gay superhero,
ice queen.
How's that make you feel?
- Captain amazingness
chooses our names.
- Captain amazingness?
Who chooses his name?
- The leader of the supercorps
names himself.
- Sounds more like
he's got the midlife crisis,
don't you think?
You know, I know
why you're really here.
You're trying to decide
whether or not to kill me.
- How do you know that?
- Your body language tells me.
Not moving tells me
you don't want me
to read your body language,
which proves that I'm right.
There's something different
about you.
Did you forget
to take your serum?
- What serum?
What are you talking about?
What the hell was that?
You're a telemorph.
- I'm a little rusty.
- Why didn't he tell me?
[Inhales sharply]
[Groaning]
- Oh, there we go.
[Bright rhythmic music]
- What the hell?
- Ha!
- Come on, Fridge.
Focus.
- [Laughing]
- You can do this.
- I will not...Let you...
Get inside...Of my head.
- Well, I'm just
getting warmed up.
But you...Don't...
Have...A...Choice.
[Voices whispering]
- Ah!
What are you doing?
- Your name is Brendan?
Oh, God.
- [Panting]
That's how you killed him--
mind control.
- You're Matthew's son.
- Don't you say that name.
You don't get to use that name.
- Oh, God.
- Is this when you make me
kill myself,
like my father?
- Brendan, you're my nephew.
- That's bullshit.
- It's true.
Brendan.
Brendan, you're my nephew.
- No, you're a liar.
Get out of my head.
- It's true, Brendan.
We're family.
- No, that's impossible.
- Matthew was my older brother.
You look just like him.
- Jimmy, you're drunk.
- No, I'm not.
I came here to tell you
I'm not going to be
divorcing my wife.
I'm going to get back with her.
- Good.
- She loves me.
- I'm glad.
'Cause what happened between us
was a mistake.
- Yeah, my mistake.
To think that I almost
lost my marriage for you.
- Well, then that worked out
for the both of us, didn't it?
- Yeah, it did.
- Okay, Jimmy, you can go.
- If you want me to leave,
then you should probably
call the cops.
Oh, wait.
I'm the cops.
- Okay, Jimmy,
you're freaking me out.
- You're cheating on me
with one of those superheroes,
aren't you?
- Cheating?
We were never a couple.
That doesn't even make sense.
[Plate clattering]
You're an asshole.
- I know, but the problem is,
is that you're just so cute.
- Don't you touch me.
- You always smell so good.
I just want to tear off--
- Jimmy, I said "no."
- Uh!
[Glass shattering]
That really hurt!
That is no way to treat
your lover, lover.
- Get away from her.
- This is the faggot
you're dumping me for?
Here he comes
to save the day
What are you gonna do,
X-ray boy?
You're probably checking
my balls right now, aren't you?
- You don't want to do that.
- You better kill me.
Because if you don't,
you're going to have
to watch your back
every day for the rest
of your goddamn life.
- Say you're sorry to the lady,
and get out of here.
Are you all right?
- Yeah.
[Door slams]
I think he's gone.
- He's gone.
- How could nobody know
that you were brothers?
- He was a superhero.
I was a supervillain.
If the world found out
that we were brothers,
it wouldn't have been good
for either one of us,
so we kept it a secret.
- But why would you do it?
I mean, how could you kill
your own brother?
- It's not what you think.
It's complicated.
I'll just show you.
[Voices whispering]
- No, don't do that.
Don't just inject it
into my mind.
I want to hear you say it.
- Matthew was my idol.
And when our parents died,
he joined the supercorps.
And he married a superhero,
your mother.
And together they ran off
to save the world,
abandoning me, his baby brother,
who--who needed him most.
Yeah, I was jealous at first,
when he had superpowers.
But then my superpowers
started to kick in,
although I didn't understand
what was happening.
I could hear people's thoughts.
I thought I was going crazy.
I saw dozens of doctors.
I was in and out
of mental institutions.
Where was he?
Then, one day, electric death
pulled up in his stretch,
and he told me
that the voices I was hearing
was the beginning
of mind control,
and that I was special.
One in a billion.
He told me that if I worked
for him,
he could help me hone my powers,
and that the world would just
open up like a flower,
offering me all
of its sweetness.
- Freeze!
- And pretty soon,
I was the most powerful
supervillain around.
And then it was Matthew's turn
to be jealous.
He decided that he was going
to tell the world
that we were brothers,
so that my guys
would turn against me.
Fair man that he was,
he gave me a warning.
He came and made me an offer.
He brought your mother,
windchill, with him,
and she tried to convince me
that the supercorps
could take care of me.
How could they take care of me?
And even if they could,
being a superhero
didn't seem like much fun,
as I guess you know.
So I decided I had to stop them
then and there.
- Why like that?
Why did you use his own gun?
- I flew into a rage.
Next thing I knew,
he pulled his gun.
[Gunshot]
She hit the ground.
He hit the ground.
[Whispers]
I lost control.
I lost control.
You have to believe me.
- It was an accident.
- I swear it was.
- I'll show you an accident.
[Zapping]
Why aren't you stopping me?
- Because I want you to do it.
- Damn it.
My truffula tree cupcakes.
- Poor guys.
- [Sighs]
I was making them for this guy
I met today.
- You put a lot of work
into them.
- Dr. Seuss
would have been proud.
- You must really like this guy,
huh?
- Yeah, I guess I do.
Listen, um, thanks.
I mean it.
- No need to thank me.
- Not just for stopping him,
but for stopping me.
I would have cut his balls off.
- If I knew that's all
you were gonna do,
I would have let you do it.
Still, it feels better
to do the right thing.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
[Whispers]
What am I doing?
I got to, um...
I got to go fix something.
Brendan, wait.
Don't do it.
- Get out of here, C-Thru.
- I was wrong.
I shouldn't
have brought you here.
- What the hell
are you talking about?
Five minutes ago,
this was my chance for revenge.
- Not like this.
Superheroes shouldn't
kill anyone.
- No, this doesn't make
any sense.
What's he not telling me?
- I can't read his thoughts.
He's using
the mind-control inhibitor.
- That's not true.
- Mind-control inhibitor?
What was in that syringe?
- Nothing, I told you.
- That's how they captured me,
- Shut up.
- The prison guards still use.
- We got to go, now.
- Well, what's your plan?
You just gonna leave me here?
- This isn't about you.
- Uh, C-Thru?
- Brendan, don't listen to him.
He's trying to get
inside our heads.
- C-Thru!
- What?
- Sorry.
[Telephone ringer dings]
[Ominous music]
- What happened?
- It's okay to show him
how you feel.
- Why don't you tell us
how you tried to set me up?
- Don't listen to him, Brendan.
- Why don't you tell me why you
didn't give me the serum?
- I came back to save you.
- To save me?
You know what, man?
Just for once,
I want to hear you tell me
something that's actually true.
[Zapping]
- Okay.
Okay.
It was a setup.
That's why we chose
this out-of-the-way place.
Supercorps needs
an active supervillain
so that people need us again.
Then we can get
our funding restored.
- For that you were going
to let me die?
- Brendan.
- He was supposed
to be your friend.
- You were supposed
to be my friend.
- That's right.
He betrayed you.
- He set you up
and left you here to die.
- Brendan, don't.
- He abandoned you, Brendan.
You've been carrying this pain
around with you
your entire life,
and he deserves to die.
- Don't listen to him.
- He deserves...
- No one.
- To die!
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
- He made me do it.
- He wanted to die.
- He confessed to everything.
This clears my dad's name.
We've got to tell the
supercorps.
- They know.
They were watching.
There's a camera.
- So it's all on tape.
They heard everything.
- There's no sound.
- There's no sound?
- We didn't need it.
- Okay, then you've got to call
captain amazingness.
Tell him what happened.
- Yeah, maybe...
Maybe there's still time.
- Still time for what?
- Maybe I can stop him.
[Phone ringing]
- What are you talking about?
- Hey, C-Thru, job well done.
- Thank you, sir.
- We got it all on tape.
- Sir, is it possible
that we can still--
- I just sent out the story
with the clip.
Get to a TV.
It's all over the news.
You should be proud, C-Thru.
You just saved the corps.
- What did he say?
What did he say?
- Even when you're not
fighting supervillians,
your teeth are fighting plaque.
- Bring you an emergency
news bulletin.
Refrigerator,
the superhero known as Fridge,
has turned to the dark side.
His whereabouts are unknown,
but in this exclusive
video clip,
you can see Fridge committing
the murderous act.
Experts are analyzing
the footage right now
to find out where exactly
it could be.
The supercorps are organizing
their efforts to find him,
and captain amazingness says
it's a shame they don't have
the funding they once had.
He asks for the cooperation
of all citizens.
If you see this villain...
- You son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
I know what this is about.
- Yeah, it's about
the supercorps.
It's about our company
getting its funding back.
- Oh, come on,
you never once questioned
captain amazingness's motives?
- Yeah, of course I did.
That's why I came back.
- God damn it.
I slept with margo amazingness.
- What?
- Yeah, I slept with
captain amazingness's wife,
okay?
He must have found out.
- You're serious.
- Yeah, totally serious.
- When?
- Christmas party.
She had that miniskirt.
- No.
- Knee-highs.
Crazy red heels.
- No, it can't be about that.
- Then why me?
- No, captain amazingness--
- if they want a supervillain,
why not take one from jail?
There's got to be
over 400 of them there.
Why me?
I can't even talk to you.
I got to go.
I'm about to be hunted down
by the goddamn supercorps.
- I'm gonna make this up to you,
man.
I'll hide shrink's body.
That will slow their
investigation for a bit, and--
I don't know, give you some time
to get out of the country
or something.
- Don't act like you're doing me
any favors, okay, asshole?
And listen to me very carefully.
As far as I'm concerned,
from now on,
you and me are strangers.
- Hey, Brendan.
- What?
- You know,
for whatever it's worth,
that girl claudel
really likes you.
I mean I just saw her down there
making cupcakes
with Dr. Seuss drawings on them.
- Well, that might
have been nice, C-Thru,
but I don't think
she really wants
to go on the run
with a supervillain, do you?
- Couldn't hurt to ask.
Hey.
Margo amazingness, really?
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, um, moon dog,
do you know where claudel is?
- She said it's okay
if I use her jewelry-making kit.
- Yeah, okay.
- I'm making this
for that superhero, Fridge.
Think he'll like it?
- [Chuckles bitterly]
I think he would have loved it.
But he's a supervillain now,
so you might want
to keep your distance.
- Eh, supervillain, superhero--
those are just labels, man.
- Yeah, right.
Look, have you seen claudel?
- Yeah, she's out back.
- Great.
- Hey, how did you know my name?
- You look like a moon dog.
Hey.
Before you say anything,
I just--
I want to tell you some stuff.
Um, I'm Fridge.
I was a superhero.
And not a very good one.
- That's why you were acting
so strange,
'cause you couldn't tell me
who you really were.
- No, who I really am
is Brendan--is this guy.
I just didn't want
to tell you about Fridge,
because, well, you seem to hate
superheroes so much, so...
- I don't hate superheroes.
It's just, um, complicated.
- Oh, no, I get it.
I just wanted to say
that before I met you,
my life was an emotional
nightmare, basically.
And you saved me from that.
You did,
because you seemed to like me
for the real me.
And that felt really nice.
And I just kind of wish that we
could start from scratch.
- Well, you know,
there's nothing stopping us
from doing that.
We just met.
- Well, actually,
there is one thing stopping us.
- What?
- There is a giant conspiracy
to use my alter ego
to get government funding back
for superheroes.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- So that's it.
No dinner?
[Romantic music playing]
- you don't need
to leap over buildings
in a single bound
or run to me faster
than the speed of sound
you don't need X-ray vision
to look into my heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
just the way you are
you don't need to fly
around the world
to show a girl a good time
you don't need telepathy
you can already read my mind
and you don't need
super strength
to hold me in your arms
you're my hero
just the way you are
[dramatic music]
- Hey.
Who's that?
- I can explain.
- This is good.
- This doesn't involve the cops.
I suggest you put the gun away.
- You know, I always wanted
to be one of you guys--
colorful uniform, publicist,
alter ego.
By day,
And by night, doctor invisible.
Maybe...Captain unseeable.
- We can do that.
- That's where I belong.
- That can still happen.
Just put the gun away.
- You know, at least claudel
made me feel special.
But you had to try and rob me
of that as well, didn't you?
- Officer!
[Gunshots]
- No, no, no, hold on a second.
That could be dangerous.
- Well, aren't you used
to danger,
being a superhero?
- [Sighs]
Shit.
I don't even have my uniform.
- Brendan?
You don't need your uniform.
- Freeze.
- But I thought you said
you were Fridge.
- I was.
- You didn't get the joke, babe.
I said, "freeze,"
and I'm dressed as the freezer.
- Fridge.
It's short for refrigerator.
- Jimmy, what are you doing
in that outfit?
- I'm a superhero now.
All I have to do
is change this letter to a "g"
for gun power.
- He shot C-Thru.
- It's a bird.
It's a plane.
[Gunshot]
It's a stupid dead bitch.
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
- [Panting]
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
- I'm gonna be fine.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, I'm gonna be fine.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
- You're gonna be okay.
- Yeah, no, seriously,
I'm gonna be okay.
[Warbling tone]
- You healed yourself.
You've got--
- healing powers, yeah.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I was gonna tell you.
I've just kept it a secret
for so long.
I just didn't want it
to be the only thing
that people cared about.
[Breathing heavily]
- Yeah, tell me about it.
You okay?
- Yeah.
- C-Thru.
Come on.
Can you get up?
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude.
Can you heal him?
- Well, if he's still alive,
I can.
[Warbling tone]
- Come on, bud.
Claudel saved you.
She's got superpowers.
- Yeah, let's keep that
on the d.L., please.
- Brendan--
- look, just save it, all right?
You're one lucky piece of shit.
- Jimmy's dead.
I can't heal him.
- Oh, man.
Well, he did shoot you.
- So what happens now?
- As far as I'm concerned,
that's Fridge right there.
- Fridge is dead.
- Just as I was starting
to like superheroes.
- I'll take it from here.
[Grunting]
I got a report to write
about a dead superhero.
Hey, Brendan?
You think you'll ever
forgive me?
- [Sighs]
Sure.
Over my dead body.
- Good night
I say to you
good night
dream
of all the impossible
and when you wake
you'll see
that all these dreams
aren't fake
they're real
not impossible
believe
you'll be all right
sad things
you keep inside
so go
tell me what it's like
tell me what you like
about when you dream
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh
- With their funding
fully restored,
the supercorps determined
that Fridge,
whose body was found
washed up on shore,
was not evil,
but only under the mind-control
powers of shrink,
who faked his own death
to escape custody.
Shrink is still at large,
and considered
incredibly dangerous.
New evidence shows
he was responsible
for the deaths
of two superheroes in 1992.
Supercorps leader,
captain amazingness,
has pledged to spare no effort
in capturing shrink.
For the first time,
the supercorps
has confirmed the identity
of one of its members.
Fridge has been identified
as local police officer
His family and friends
claim they are not surprised
to find out that Jimmy
was a superhero.
"He had a true love
for justice," his wife says.
"He was one of the good guys,
and that's rare."
- The other day,
I took my third-grade class
into the park,
and three third-graders
found underwear in the bushes.
- Do I think guns are good?
No, I don't, really.
But I would sooner have a gun
in the hands of sunburn
than some law-enforcement
officials.
- What am I going to do
with a taser
if a guy is half a mile away?
I need pistols.
- I'd even go so far as to say,
you know, I would put
a stealth bomber in his hands.
- Superheroes, like yourself,
are getting their powers
younger and younger these days.
- Well, I mean,
some people think
it's like the hormones
in the cows
and that we spray on crops,
but I think it's cosmological.
- Now, we know what kind
of problems puberty causes
in a normal human being,
so we can only imagine what must
be going through the mind
of these troubled
teenage individuals
who suddenly have--
suddenly have fire
coming out of their fingertips
or pieces of metal
flying at their body.
I once had a young patient
whose parents thought,
"she's just bumping
into things."
But really things were bumping
into her.
See, she had just
developed magnetism
and couldn't control it.
[Romantic music]
- you don't need
to leap over buildings
in a single bound
or run to me faster
than the speed of sound
you don't need X-ray vision
to look into my heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
just the way you are
you don't need to fly
around the world
to show a girl a good time
you don't need telepathy
you can already read my mind
and you don't need
super strength
to hold me in your arms
you're my hero
just the way you are
you don't need a Batmobile
to take me to the prom
don't have to be
the man of steel
to diffuse this little bomb
all you got to do
is open up your heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
you don't have
to move mountains
to show your sweetness
'cause, baby, you move me
without telekinesis
don't need to take me
to the moon
to show me all the stars
you're my hero
just the way you are
don't have to stop
one of the trains
with your bare hands
or befriend supervillains
just to stop
their evil plans
believe me when I say
I loved you from the start
you're my hero
just the way you are
- On capitol hill today,
the senate will vote on a bill
to cut funding for superheroes.
- They think
they can change anywhere.
The world is not
their changing room.
- Superheroes who are balancing
multiple identities
have a fragile and even tenuous
grasp on reality.
- Since the superheroes
imprisoned
all of the supervillains
over ten years ago,
they have had no enemy to fight.
That, coupled with recent
press coverage of superheroes
living on luxury lifestyles
with taxpayers' money,
has raised questions
about whether the government
should continue subsidizing
the supercorps.
Up next..
[Upbeat pop music]
- No effing way.
- Oh, God.
- I love superheroes.
Are you fishman, man?
- No.
- Which one are you?
- I'm Fridge.
The "F" stands for Fridge.
It's short for refrigerator.
- My name's Jose Maria
de Las Mercedes acostaz.
- Okay.
- People just call me moon dog.
- Great.
That's great.
- Yo, 'frigerator, dude,
you want some?
- You know,
I don't think that I can.
- It's good shit.
- Aren't you working?
- It's off-season, man.
There's no one around.
- I'm kind of on duty, so...
- What happens
when superheroes get high?
- I don't know.
- Do their powers get stronger?
- I don't know.
- All right.
Stay super, bro.
- You, too.
- Stay super.
[Suspenseful music]
- You know, it's funny.
Your name is C-Thru,
but I can see right through you.
Are you working for somebody
that wants to help me escape
or someone that wants
to kill me?
- Shut up.
- You're not doing this job
for the money, are you?
It's for the promotion,
the status you want,
the respect you want.
- Everybody thinks superheroes
win the lottery, huh?
Because they're born
with powers?
No one wants to appreciate
the hard work,
the sacrifices that we put in
every day.
Damn it.
- Feels good
to speak to the shrink
once in a while,
doesn't it?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Good.
How you doing?
- Good.
Hey.
- I--I was gonna knock,
but then I remembered
that you could--
- see through walls, yeah.
- Right, so I just...
What are you doing
in this place?
- I got a really bad stomach flu
last night,
and I had to stop here,
and so I called you in
for backup.
- Wait a minute, aren't you
supposed to have, like,
a police escort
or something like that?
- Solo on this one.
Cops aren't our biggest fans
at the moment, you know?
- Really?
- I'm actually
feeling better now.
You want to get some breakfast?
I'm starving.
- No, you know what?
I think let's just handle
the prisoner transport.
You and I can get some food
some other time.
- You know,
protocol says that, um...
We can't move him till dark now.
- What?
New protocol?
I'm supposed to hang out
with Emily's mom later, damn it.
- Hey, you know, but there's
a diner right down the street.
Why don't we get in our civvies
and go?
I got to get out of this thing.
My butt is itching.
- I'd rather keep the suit on.
- Why?
- You know, I just feel
more comfortable as Fridge.
- How long have you
had this thing on?
- A pretty long time.
Pretty long time.
- But you got civilian clothes
in the bag.
- Don't look through my stuff,
okay?
Please.
- All right.
All right.
- I'm just--please.
- I forgot.
I forgot how much you hate that.
- It's the weirdest thing.
- But, you know,
you really should
get that thing washed
eventually,
and take a shower.
- I think my phone's dead.
I guess I'll just send Emily
an email.
Where's the check-in office?
- Try where it says "check-in."
- Oh.
All right.
Good.
- All right, I'm gonna, um...
I'm gonna go back to my room
for a minute and get something.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
[Phone ringing]
- C-Thru, talk to me.
Tell me,
how's the mission going?
- Well, he hasn't
done it yet, sir.
- This is time-sensitive,
C-Thru.
Why are you stalling?
And may be going through
some kind of identity crisis.
It's my opinion that we find
an alternative person to--
- no, no, no.
It's got to be Fridge.
Don't question my amazingness.
- Sorry, sir, I would never
question your amazingness.
- You realize, C-Thru,
if this works,
you're gonna get
that big promotion
we've been talking about.
- Right, and I'm also doing it
for the corps, sir.
- For the corps!
- This is not a good day
to call me
because I can not spare
some sympathy
my own feeling
is mostly unclear
and when I'm talking to you
I'm not here
[Bell dinging]
- Hi.
Are you with the other one?
- Yeah, C-Thru.
Room 40.
Um...Can I use your Internet?
- That's against our policy.
Sorry.
- Yeah, I know, but...
I'm Fridge, so...
- Who?
- The refrigerator.
New ice on the block?
Cold boy?
- No, I--
- it's not doing anything
for you at all?
There's nothing there.
- I don't really follow
superhero stuff.
- I shoot ice out of my hands.
Look, let me show you
what I'm talking about.
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
And there it is.
- That's $15 for the mug.
- What?
No, no, I was just trying
to show you that I could--
- you freeze it, you pay for it.
- All right, I'll pay
for the mug.
Look, can I use the Internet,
please?
I'm a superhero.
You got to help me.
- I thought that meant
that you're supposed to help me.
- Well, if you were being robbed
or raped or something,
I would help you.
- Somebody say superhero?
I fight crime, too.
- Oh, great.
- Yeah, I applied
to be one of you guys.
They said my power
wasn't complete enough.
- Jimmy, please?
- No, I don't blame supercorps.
You know, they have
their standards.
Want to see my power?
- Uh...
Yeah, sure.
[Whooshing sound]
- I can turn invisible.
[Whooshing sound reverses]
- Oh.
- But only for 2.3 seconds.
- Well, that's not--
that's not bad.
That's not bad.
I, uh...
You know, there are therapists
that can help you work on that
if you want to hold it longer.
- Nah, it's okay.
I got all the power I need
right here.
- Jimmy, can you please
put your gun away
before you hurt yourself?
- You guys aren't allowed
to carry guns, are you?
[Door creaking]
- No, uh...
[Door creaking]
- Is there a problem here,
officer?
- Two superheroes.
How blessed we are.
- Please holster your firearm,
sir.
- Or what?
Are you going to see through it?
- [Chuckles weakly]
- You know, superheroes
used to be allowed to pack heat,
until one of them went
on a rampage,
shot his wife,
and then shot himself.
- Let me tell you something.
That superhero's name
was restore-o,
and he was a great man.
- Look, we're both
on the same side here.
- The same side, huh?
Then why is the government
cutting your funding
and not ours?
- Jimmy!
Would you please just go?
That's the last time
I'm going to tell you.
- This isn't over.
[Whispers]
I love you.
- [Sighs]
- Can I use your Internet now?
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- And you still owe me
for the mug.
- You are so annoying.
- Sorry about this.
You can charge that to the room.
Hey, I'm sorry that asshole cop
mentioned your dad like that.
- Oh, who cares?
I'm used to it, right?
- Your dad
was a great superhero.
- Really?
How great could he be?
Either he did
what everybody said he did,
or he was too stupid,
he just let it happen.
- Yeah, well, the supercorps
said he didn't do it.
- Then why couldn't they
prove it?
- Well--
- no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't want to debate it.
I don't want to talk about it.
I've got my own life.
Got my own problems.
Like, for example,
when I don't meet Emily today,
she's gonna hate me,
exactly like she hates Brendan.
Unless I create
another alter ego for myself.
- Don't do that.
- I might do it.
- When's the last time
you were Brendan?
- [Sighs]
Technically, this is supposed
to be my day off.
- You have to clear
your schedule.
You don't just punch a clock
on a mission.
With great power
comes great respon--
- yeah, all right,
I get the point.
Can I call her from your phone?
- You can't use
a superhero phone.
What is she going to think
when she sees the caller I.D.?
That I was going to Hampton bays
to meet you,
so I don't think she's
really going to freak out.
- You told her
about this mission?
- She's my girlfriend.
- Oh, come on, man, no.
She's Brendan's girlfriend.
She's not supposed to know
about superhero stuff.
- Okay, well, it's not really
that simple.
Because she's, um...
She's cheating on me.
On Brendan.
- Oh.
- With me.
Fridge.
- Look, bottom line is that
Emily is not happy with Brendan.
She doesn't want to be dating
some broke wannabe cartoonist.
- This is a seriously
unprofessional situation.
- She deserves more
than just hanging around,
ordering takeout,
and watching reruns
with that guy.
- Is that for dramatic effect?
- Wh-what?
- Calling him "that guy"?
It's you.
You're him.
You're that guy.
- It's funny.
I don't feel like him.
Not, like, one little bit.
I actually think
that I'm taller than Brendan.
You think that's possible?
- No.
- And then I remembered
that Fridge
was always a way bigger hit
with the ladies.
So when I, Fridge, saw her
walking down the street,
I froze the sidewalk, right,
to make her slip and fall
so that I could catch her
and save her.
- [Gasps]
- And then...It was amazing.
She had never looked
at Brendan--
at me--like that before.
And then when I, Brendan,
called her to ask
what she was doing that night,
she said she was sick
and had to stay in,
when really she had plans
with me, Fridge.
I took her to some place
that Brendan could never afford.
There were these guys
who owed me a favor.
I kept their freezer cold
during the blackout.
And then we went
back to her apartment.
[Laughter]
One thing led to another...
[Glass shattering]
You see why I don't want to
change back into my alter ego?
If I become Brendan,
who knows what he's going to do?
He might do something stupid,
and break up with her.
Then he's going to ruin this
great thing
that I've got going on
with Emily.
- Y-you know, you really
shouldn't be saying this
in front of anyone.
Superhero stuff, alter egos,
top secret.
- No, because people are going
to think that you're insane.
- Why can't you just
be happy for me?
You know, the sex with Fridge
is way better.
- [Sighs]
Wait, why is it better?
- Chicks dig the costume.
They dig the costume.
- [Clears throat]
- Oh, we're not accepting
superhero credit anymore.
Sorry.
We take cash.
[Door creaking]
- Ow!
Damn it.
Jimmy, I know you're there.
- I brought you a present.
So you can test out
your fashion line on something.
- Um, it's a little bit small
for that.
And it's not really
a fashion line.
It's just a hobby.
- Well, unfortunately,
hobbies are illegal
in this town.
Gonna have to frisk you, ma'am.
- You really...
You don't have to frisk me.
- Your tits are so much nicer
than my wife's.
- Jimmy!
- That was a compliment.
- Okay, here's the thing:
I felt sorry for you,
because your wife
kicked you out.
Now I don't even really
feel sorry for you.
- What do you feel?
- Nothing.
- Do you want me
to get divorced
so that we can make it official?
- I don't want it
to be official.
- Because I will.
- Never was official.
You can go now.
[Sighs]
- I can't believe the crap
they write about me.
I mean, my suits
aren't taxicab yellow.
- Ugh, of course.
It goes to voicemail,
but her mailbox is full.
Unbelievable.
- What happened to you, bro?
You used to be
such a ladies' man
before you met this girl.
- [Sighs]
I don't know.
Love changes you, I guess.
- I wouldn't call it love.
It's more like kryptonite
for your balls.
All right, look, why don't you
go back to the front desk,
but this time, go as Brendan?
- Okay.
Maybe she'll feel sorry for him.
[Upbeat pop music]
[Horn honking]
- Suck my balls, superfreaks.
- Son of a bitch.
Hey, how do I look?
- You got a little dirt on you.
But good.
Good.
You look...Normal.
How do you feel?
- Emily's cheating on me.
Man, I got to dump the slut
before she dumps me.
Shit.
- Dump Emily?
But I thought...
Whoa.
- [Sighs]
Hello.
- Hello.
How can I help you?
- Uh...
I need to break up
with my girlfriend.
Like, today.
Like, right now.
- Not on my account, I hope.
I'm kidding.
[Laughs]
Wait, sorry--
you're serious?
- Um...
- Why are you telling me?
- Because I'm afraid
that if I don't do it right now,
I'm gonna lose the courage.
So despite what that sign says,
I have to use your Internet.
So I can email her
and break up with her.
- That's not a really nice way
of breaking up with someone.
- Well, she's cheating on me,
so...
- Oh, I see.
Yeah, that's messed up.
- Look, you know, this isn't
particularly pleasant for me,
or easy.
- I know; I've been trying
to end something
with someone for weeks.
- What's stopping you?
- His inability to understand
words that come out of my mouth
when I talk.
- Is he foreign?
- Nope.
Just stupid.
- Right.
- You 100% sure
that she's cheating on you?
- Pretty sure.
The guy that she's cheating with
kind of told me.
- You know him?
- I know him.
We're sort of, like, friends.
- Ouch.
- Jesus, dude.
- Oh, it gets worse.
The guy's a superhero.
- [Groans]
I had a couple of those idiots
come in here.
- Yeah.
- They seem like such jerks.
- Guess she likes men in tights?
- What is with that?
It's like each one's got to have
his own stupid little outfit?
Why?
They're such egomaniacs.
- Fine.
I sympathize.
- Really?
- Come with me.
- Thank you.
- No porn, though.
- I can't promise anything.
- Is there a really cool bug
there or something?
- No.
- Well, why are you staring
at the wall so closely?
- I'm staring through the wall,
genius.
I'm a--
I'm a superhero.
- What's your superpower?
- X-ray vision, moron.
- Can you see
through my clothes?
- No.
- Why not?
- I mean, I can,
but I don't want--
ugh!
- Well, what else can you do?
Do you have X-ray hearing?
- No!
But I can read lips pretty good.
- Well, that's not really
a superpower.
- Isn't there a joint somewhere
that needs to be smoked?
- How do you compete
with superman,
who has X-ray vision, but tons
of other cool powers, too,
like flying,
running really fast?
Catching bullets
with his teeth's pretty cool.
- Superman is a totally
fictional, made-up character.
He's not real.
Real superheroes
only have one superpower.
That's why we work together
in the supercorps.
- So you know
the real identities
of all the superheroes
in the supercorps?
- Yeah, I know a lot of them.
- Is Sandra bullock a superhero?
- No.
- Salman rushdie?
- Yeah, salman is.
Look, I got to get back to work.
- Me, too.
[Glass squeaking]
- "You are a cheating slut.
I am breaking up with you."
- You know what I do
when I'm feeling insecure
about something?
- I don't know
if I'm feeling insecure--
- I tell myself,
"be who you are.
"Say what you feel, because
those who matter don't mind,
and those who mind,
don't matter."
- Okay, wow, well,
that's really good.
I should get you to write this.
- Oh, I didn't write it.
Dr. Seuss did.
- [Chuckles]
- What, you think it's weird
that I quote Dr. Seuss?
- No, I love Dr. Seuss.
He's like Shakespeare.
You know, I only understand,
like, 30% of it,
but the 30%
that I do understand,
is just unbelievably beautiful.
- That is what is so great
about Dr. Seuss, though.
I mean, he has all these weird
names for things,
like, um, barbaloots.
- Barbaloots.
- Truffula trees.
- Oh, man.
- The lorax.
- Are truffula trees
the ones that look like
these mega-delicious cupcakes?
- Yeah, pretty much everything
in Dr. Seuss's world
looks like something that would
give you a sugar high.
- [Sighs]
It's making me hungry.
- You're procrastinating.
Hit "send."
[Mouse clicks]
How do you feel?
- Incredibly good.
I feel really good.
- Good!
So what brings you out here,
anyway?
- Oh, uh, I illustrate
nature books,
so I'm out here
drawing nature stuff.
- Will you draw me something?
- Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, not right now,
because I have
performance anxiety.
I get shy.
[Cell phone buzzing]
- You watching Fridge?
- Yes, captain.
- Well, on the camera, I can see
shrink trying to kill himself.
- Wait, what?
[Dramatic music]
I'm not playing this.
- [Grunts]
[Zapping]
Why did you stop me?
If you want me dead,
what difference does it make
who kills me?
- Why are you in such a rush
to die?
- Oh, so now you're the shrink,
huh?
- You know, if he wants to die,
then why don't we just let him
kill himself?
Then we don't have
to go through with this.
- Please don't be a moron,
C-Thru.
We need this on tape.
Stop annoying me.
- Are you staying in town?
- Yeah.
Well, no, I'm not, actually.
I'm not staying anywhere.
- Do you need a room
for the night?
- Um...
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah, I guess I do.
Sure.
Does it ever get,
like, scary out here, all alone?
Because it's not quite like
the shining,
but it's a lot like the shining.
- [Laughs]
Well, it's fun
not having my parents around.
And we have a boat at the dock,
so I go out on the water a lot.
Plus, you never know
who you're going to meet.
- I feel like somebody must have
paid you to be nice to me.
- Um, I think that would make me
some kind of a call girl?
- Well, that's not exactly
what I meant.
- Okay, you're room 26.
Um...
So do you want to--
- I got to, um--
sorry, go ahead.
You first.
- I was just wondering
if you're hungry.
If you want to have lunch.
- Uh, no.
Yes!
Yes, no, I would love
to have lunch.
- Groovy, okay.
Well, I'll let you
get settled in,
and then we can do it in, say,
an hour?
- Yeah, great.
Groovy.
- You know, I myself,
if I could have a superpower,
I'd want to be super sexy.
You know, you'd get into
all the great nightclubs.
- Yeah, you know,
I don't think that would be
my first pick for--
- were no sexual relations
between that woman and myself.
- We need pistols.
You've seen the movies.
You shoot 'em in the leg.
You get 'em down.
How am I going to do that
with this?
[Flames crackling]
- The reason that he seems
so far behind,
is that he's way out in front.
I mean, I'll give you
an example.
You know, '89, sunburn
was taking me to nirvana shows.
This is pre-
teen spirit.
- That's why we started
the superbag initiative.
But then the superheroes
just started leaving their bags
everywhere.
I didn't think we'd have
to explain to them, you know,
you take the bag with you.
I mean, you don't leave
your clothes in the park
when you change, right?
I don't have to explain that
to you.
You'd think a superhero
might get that.
[Knock at door]
- Dude, where the hell
have you been?
I've been looking everywhere
for you.
- Did she see you knock
on my door?
- No, who?
- Because she hates superheroes.
So, I'm sorry,
but I can't be seen with you.
- Who?
- You, you!
Dude, you know, I saw you
with that needle in your arm.
- It's just...Medical.
It's fine.
- Medical?
I mean, Jesus, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's not important.
What's important now is--
I'm glad you finally showered.
Here.
Come on, put this on.
It's time to meet the prisoner.
- Hi, have you seen Fridge?
Scrawny blue guy?
He shoots ice out of his hands?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I seen him.
He's here.
- Where is he?
- He's right over there.
Up there.
- Fridge!
- Hey, is there
some kind of party here?
- You know, I don't want
to jinx anything,
but, um, man, I think I'm,
like, falling in love.
- With who?
- Claudel.
The girl at the front desk.
- What about Emily?
- Emily?
I dumped her.
She was cheating on me.
Weren't you listening
to anything I said before?
- Yeah, you said that the sex
with Emily was better than ever.
- The sex with Fridge
was better.
Look, it doesn't matter now,
because you know what?
I've got claudel.
- Great, you bond
over Dr. Seuss,
and all of a sudden you're ready
to get married.
- Oh, very nice, tea bags.
You've been spying on me.
- Not spying, dude.
Keeping tabs.
I mean, we're on a mission here.
And, frankly,
your behavior's been unsettling.
- I don't get it.
Why do we have to meet
the prisoner?
I mean, aren't we
just transporting him?
- No, this is what I've
been trying--
- Fridge!
- What the hell?
- Can you focus please?
- Fridge?
- What is she doing here?
- Who?
- Emily.
- No, no.
- Fridge!
- Fridge!
- You.
- Emily?
- You've got some nerve
breaking up with me in an email.
- I don't have time for this.
- Accusing me of cheating.
Who do you think you are,
Batman?
- No, I don't think I'm Batman.
Can I talk to you over here,
please?
Ow.
Don't hit me.
How did you find me?
- The note that you left
on my pillow, you idiot.
- Jesus Christ.
I am just going through
some shit right now.
- Well, don't take it out on me,
dickhead.
- Don't do that.
Can I say something please?
- What?
- Can I say one thing?
- What?
- I really like you.
- You do?
- Yeah, I do.
We had some good times together.
- Then why do you want
to break up with me?
- Why do you think?
- I don't know.
That's why I'm asking you.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Uh-huh, why?
- Yeah.
- Um...
- Why?
- Shit.
You know what?
I'm going to, um...
Can you give me one second,
please?
- What?
- I need one second.
- Come on.
What the hell, Fridge?
Come on, Fridge!
- Excuse me, ma'am.
I was just looking...
For a friend of mine.
- You know, that's very rude.
- Oh, sorry.
Fridge!
I don't have time for this.
Fridge!
What are you doing?
- Hey, claudel.
- You got my 15 bucks?
- What?
Oh, shit, the mug.
Right.
Um...
Just let me say that I'd like
to apologize about that.
- I don't believe you,
cold sore,
or whatever your name is.
- [Chuckles]
Yes.
[Clears throat]
Okay.
Right.
Great.
I will be right there.
Hey.
Claudel?
Claudel!
Hey!
I'm really sorry
to keep you waiting.
- Oh, I figured you forgot.
Um, no biggie.
Are you still on for lunch?
- The thing is, could we push
lunch back just a little bit?
I'm kind of loaded down
with work stuff.
- Brendan?
Who the hell is this?
- Emily!
What are you doing here?
- What do you think, idiot?
- Oh, God.
- Brendan.
Can I talk to you
a moment alone, please?
- God damn it.
- You know him?
- No, no.
No, absolutely not.
- It's important.
- Does anybody look like
they need to be saved here,
captain honeybuzz?
We're all safe here,
so you can go.
Thank you.
Back to the hive.
I'm sorry, um--
this is my girlfriend.
This is my ex-girlfriend,
Emily.
- So you lied when you said
you had work?
- Oh, no, I didn't lie,
because I have work.
- Oh, is that what I am to you,
Brendan, work, huh?
- No, damn it, I didn't
mean that when I said work.
- Wow, okay, you two seem
like you have a lot to discuss.
- No.
- Yes, no, we do.
- I'll see you around.
- Great, that's great.
Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
- What are you doing here?
Are you here to apologize?
- Apologize to you?
Have you lost your mind?
- Well, no, because I know
you're sleeping
with that superhero, Fridge.
Yeah, guess how.
He told me.
So...
- But you two
are the same person.
- Who the hell told you that?
- Oh, come on.
You look the same.
You sound the same.
You smell the same.
You fuck the same.
- We fuck the same?
- No, not really.
But I'm your girlfriend, okay?
I know these things.
That superheroes
have these alter egos
to hide among civilians.
So you made up this
Clark Kent-type loser, okay?
I'm just trying to help you
get free of this geek.
You're just
so much more passionate
when you're
in that Fridge costume.
- No.
- Please?
- No, no, no.
Look, Brendan is the real me.
- What?
- Brendan is the real me.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
- Well, why would you
choose Brendan?
- It's not a choice, Emily.
That's just the way it is.
- Well, you should know that I'm
not gonna choose Brendan.
- Right, see, and that is why
we are breaking up.
- [Sighs]
I want to hear that from Fridge.
- Fridge is not available
right now.
- No, no, I came
all the way here to talk to him,
not this loser.
So if you want to break up
with me,
do it in your Fridge costume.
- That's not gonna
change anything.
This loser is breaking up
with you.
We're over.
- Fine.
Fine!
And, for the record,
it's not cheating
if it's with the same person.
- Okay, I take that back.
Just so long as you promise
that you will never
reveal my identity to anyone.
- You're insane.
I can't believe I let you ice
all over my face.
[Sighs]
- Well, that is a woman
who reads her emails.
I don't know what to say.
I'm--I'm--
- should I upgrade you
to the honeymoon suite?
- No, we are 100% broken up.
I promise you.
- You were just making out
all over the parking lot.
- She kissed me.
- The last thing that I need
is another guy
who has another girl.
- I know.
I'm really sorry about that.
Look, I want to get
to know you better,
and I want to have lunch
with you,
just sometime closer
to dinnertime.
- Are you asking me to dinner?
- Will you have dinner with me?
- Yes.
- Great.
That's very good news.
Okay.
Hey, dude.
Look, I'm sorry I've been
out of it,
but I got everything
sorted out now.
Emily's gone.
I got a dinner date
with claudel.
Weather's clearing up.
So let's just focus
on the mission, right?
So what'd you want to tell me
about the prisoner?
- He's your parents' killer.
- Okay, wow, Jesus.
I said I was sorry.
You don't have to be a dick
about it.
- I'm not joking.
I'm serious.
The supervillain who killed
your mom and dad
is in that room.
- What?
What are you talking about?
Nobody knows what happened
to my mom and dad.
- The supercorps knows.
- My dad had a gun in his hand.
- He was framed.
You don't believe me?
Go in there,
and ask him yourself.
He's tied up.
- The supercorps told you
this information, not me?
Why?
- They're afraid
of what you might do.
But I think you deserve to know.
I think you deserve a little bit
of time alone with him.
And if he should happen to try
to escape and get hurt...
Or killed...
No one will blame you.
- I'm gonna kill him.
Damn.
- Wait, what else do you want,
man?
This is the guy who killed
your mom and dad.
- What about
the supercorps oath, huh?
What about rule #27, no revenge?
- Nobody follows that rule.
- I mean, if I do this,
then what's the difference?
I'm no better than he is.
- No better than he is?
You think you're exaggerating
just a little bit?
I mean, this guy's
a psychopathic killer--
- all right, fine,
you know what I mean.
I kill him, I'm a villain, too.
Technically.
- All right,
if you don't want this--
- no, I'm not saying
I don't want it.
I'm just...
Trying to think.
I can't stop thinking
about this one memory of my dad.
Is this what he would
have wanted me to do?
He was a healer.
- Well, I guess the one thing
he couldn't heal was himself.
So, look, this guy's
obviously dangerous.
When you go in there,
I don't want you thinking
about Emily or claudel
or any other stupid girl.
- Dude, come on.
I'm a pro.
- Just be careful.
I'll be out here if you need me.
[Whispers]
I'm sorry, buddy.
- My associate
sent me in here to...
Ask you some questions.
- You say "associate"
as if he wasn't some pervert
trying to see through
everybody's clothes.
What's the "f" stand for?
- Fridge.
Short for refrigerator.
- Ice controlling--
one of the most common
superpowers.
That explains it.
All the best names
were probably already taken--
freezer burn, snowman,
and the first
openly gay superhero,
ice queen.
How's that make you feel?
- Captain amazingness
chooses our names.
- Captain amazingness?
Who chooses his name?
- The leader of the supercorps
names himself.
- Sounds more like
he's got the midlife crisis,
don't you think?
You know, I know
why you're really here.
You're trying to decide
whether or not to kill me.
- How do you know that?
- Your body language tells me.
Not moving tells me
you don't want me
to read your body language,
which proves that I'm right.
There's something different
about you.
Did you forget
to take your serum?
- What serum?
What are you talking about?
What the hell was that?
You're a telemorph.
- I'm a little rusty.
- Why didn't he tell me?
[Inhales sharply]
[Groaning]
- Oh, there we go.
[Bright rhythmic music]
- What the hell?
- Ha!
- Come on, Fridge.
Focus.
- [Laughing]
- You can do this.
- I will not...Let you...
Get inside...Of my head.
- Well, I'm just
getting warmed up.
But you...Don't...
Have...A...Choice.
[Voices whispering]
- Ah!
What are you doing?
- Your name is Brendan?
Oh, God.
- [Panting]
That's how you killed him--
mind control.
- You're Matthew's son.
- Don't you say that name.
You don't get to use that name.
- Oh, God.
- Is this when you make me
kill myself,
like my father?
- Brendan, you're my nephew.
- That's bullshit.
- It's true.
Brendan.
Brendan, you're my nephew.
- No, you're a liar.
Get out of my head.
- It's true, Brendan.
We're family.
- No, that's impossible.
- Matthew was my older brother.
You look just like him.
- Jimmy, you're drunk.
- No, I'm not.
I came here to tell you
I'm not going to be
divorcing my wife.
I'm going to get back with her.
- Good.
- She loves me.
- I'm glad.
'Cause what happened between us
was a mistake.
- Yeah, my mistake.
To think that I almost
lost my marriage for you.
- Well, then that worked out
for the both of us, didn't it?
- Yeah, it did.
- Okay, Jimmy, you can go.
- If you want me to leave,
then you should probably
call the cops.
Oh, wait.
I'm the cops.
- Okay, Jimmy,
you're freaking me out.
- You're cheating on me
with one of those superheroes,
aren't you?
- Cheating?
We were never a couple.
That doesn't even make sense.
[Plate clattering]
You're an asshole.
- I know, but the problem is,
is that you're just so cute.
- Don't you touch me.
- You always smell so good.
I just want to tear off--
- Jimmy, I said "no."
- Uh!
[Glass shattering]
That really hurt!
That is no way to treat
your lover, lover.
- Get away from her.
- This is the faggot
you're dumping me for?
Here he comes
to save the day
What are you gonna do,
X-ray boy?
You're probably checking
my balls right now, aren't you?
- You don't want to do that.
- You better kill me.
Because if you don't,
you're going to have
to watch your back
every day for the rest
of your goddamn life.
- Say you're sorry to the lady,
and get out of here.
Are you all right?
- Yeah.
[Door slams]
I think he's gone.
- He's gone.
- How could nobody know
that you were brothers?
- He was a superhero.
I was a supervillain.
If the world found out
that we were brothers,
it wouldn't have been good
for either one of us,
so we kept it a secret.
- But why would you do it?
I mean, how could you kill
your own brother?
- It's not what you think.
It's complicated.
I'll just show you.
[Voices whispering]
- No, don't do that.
Don't just inject it
into my mind.
I want to hear you say it.
- Matthew was my idol.
And when our parents died,
he joined the supercorps.
And he married a superhero,
your mother.
And together they ran off
to save the world,
abandoning me, his baby brother,
who--who needed him most.
Yeah, I was jealous at first,
when he had superpowers.
But then my superpowers
started to kick in,
although I didn't understand
what was happening.
I could hear people's thoughts.
I thought I was going crazy.
I saw dozens of doctors.
I was in and out
of mental institutions.
Where was he?
Then, one day, electric death
pulled up in his stretch,
and he told me
that the voices I was hearing
was the beginning
of mind control,
and that I was special.
One in a billion.
He told me that if I worked
for him,
he could help me hone my powers,
and that the world would just
open up like a flower,
offering me all
of its sweetness.
- Freeze!
- And pretty soon,
I was the most powerful
supervillain around.
And then it was Matthew's turn
to be jealous.
He decided that he was going
to tell the world
that we were brothers,
so that my guys
would turn against me.
Fair man that he was,
he gave me a warning.
He came and made me an offer.
He brought your mother,
windchill, with him,
and she tried to convince me
that the supercorps
could take care of me.
How could they take care of me?
And even if they could,
being a superhero
didn't seem like much fun,
as I guess you know.
So I decided I had to stop them
then and there.
- Why like that?
Why did you use his own gun?
- I flew into a rage.
Next thing I knew,
he pulled his gun.
[Gunshot]
She hit the ground.
He hit the ground.
[Whispers]
I lost control.
I lost control.
You have to believe me.
- It was an accident.
- I swear it was.
- I'll show you an accident.
[Zapping]
Why aren't you stopping me?
- Because I want you to do it.
- Damn it.
My truffula tree cupcakes.
- Poor guys.
- [Sighs]
I was making them for this guy
I met today.
- You put a lot of work
into them.
- Dr. Seuss
would have been proud.
- You must really like this guy,
huh?
- Yeah, I guess I do.
Listen, um, thanks.
I mean it.
- No need to thank me.
- Not just for stopping him,
but for stopping me.
I would have cut his balls off.
- If I knew that's all
you were gonna do,
I would have let you do it.
Still, it feels better
to do the right thing.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
[Whispers]
What am I doing?
I got to, um...
I got to go fix something.
Brendan, wait.
Don't do it.
- Get out of here, C-Thru.
- I was wrong.
I shouldn't
have brought you here.
- What the hell
are you talking about?
Five minutes ago,
this was my chance for revenge.
- Not like this.
Superheroes shouldn't
kill anyone.
- No, this doesn't make
any sense.
What's he not telling me?
- I can't read his thoughts.
He's using
the mind-control inhibitor.
- That's not true.
- Mind-control inhibitor?
What was in that syringe?
- Nothing, I told you.
- That's how they captured me,
- Shut up.
- The prison guards still use.
- We got to go, now.
- Well, what's your plan?
You just gonna leave me here?
- This isn't about you.
- Uh, C-Thru?
- Brendan, don't listen to him.
He's trying to get
inside our heads.
- C-Thru!
- What?
- Sorry.
[Telephone ringer dings]
[Ominous music]
- What happened?
- It's okay to show him
how you feel.
- Why don't you tell us
how you tried to set me up?
- Don't listen to him, Brendan.
- Why don't you tell me why you
didn't give me the serum?
- I came back to save you.
- To save me?
You know what, man?
Just for once,
I want to hear you tell me
something that's actually true.
[Zapping]
- Okay.
Okay.
It was a setup.
That's why we chose
this out-of-the-way place.
Supercorps needs
an active supervillain
so that people need us again.
Then we can get
our funding restored.
- For that you were going
to let me die?
- Brendan.
- He was supposed
to be your friend.
- You were supposed
to be my friend.
- That's right.
He betrayed you.
- He set you up
and left you here to die.
- Brendan, don't.
- He abandoned you, Brendan.
You've been carrying this pain
around with you
your entire life,
and he deserves to die.
- Don't listen to him.
- He deserves...
- No one.
- To die!
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
- He made me do it.
- He wanted to die.
- He confessed to everything.
This clears my dad's name.
We've got to tell the
supercorps.
- They know.
They were watching.
There's a camera.
- So it's all on tape.
They heard everything.
- There's no sound.
- There's no sound?
- We didn't need it.
- Okay, then you've got to call
captain amazingness.
Tell him what happened.
- Yeah, maybe...
Maybe there's still time.
- Still time for what?
- Maybe I can stop him.
[Phone ringing]
- What are you talking about?
- Hey, C-Thru, job well done.
- Thank you, sir.
- We got it all on tape.
- Sir, is it possible
that we can still--
- I just sent out the story
with the clip.
Get to a TV.
It's all over the news.
You should be proud, C-Thru.
You just saved the corps.
- What did he say?
What did he say?
- Even when you're not
fighting supervillians,
your teeth are fighting plaque.
- Bring you an emergency
news bulletin.
Refrigerator,
the superhero known as Fridge,
has turned to the dark side.
His whereabouts are unknown,
but in this exclusive
video clip,
you can see Fridge committing
the murderous act.
Experts are analyzing
the footage right now
to find out where exactly
it could be.
The supercorps are organizing
their efforts to find him,
and captain amazingness says
it's a shame they don't have
the funding they once had.
He asks for the cooperation
of all citizens.
If you see this villain...
- You son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
I know what this is about.
- Yeah, it's about
the supercorps.
It's about our company
getting its funding back.
- Oh, come on,
you never once questioned
captain amazingness's motives?
- Yeah, of course I did.
That's why I came back.
- God damn it.
I slept with margo amazingness.
- What?
- Yeah, I slept with
captain amazingness's wife,
okay?
He must have found out.
- You're serious.
- Yeah, totally serious.
- When?
- Christmas party.
She had that miniskirt.
- No.
- Knee-highs.
Crazy red heels.
- No, it can't be about that.
- Then why me?
- No, captain amazingness--
- if they want a supervillain,
why not take one from jail?
There's got to be
over 400 of them there.
Why me?
I can't even talk to you.
I got to go.
I'm about to be hunted down
by the goddamn supercorps.
- I'm gonna make this up to you,
man.
I'll hide shrink's body.
That will slow their
investigation for a bit, and--
I don't know, give you some time
to get out of the country
or something.
- Don't act like you're doing me
any favors, okay, asshole?
And listen to me very carefully.
As far as I'm concerned,
from now on,
you and me are strangers.
- Hey, Brendan.
- What?
- You know,
for whatever it's worth,
that girl claudel
really likes you.
I mean I just saw her down there
making cupcakes
with Dr. Seuss drawings on them.
- Well, that might
have been nice, C-Thru,
but I don't think
she really wants
to go on the run
with a supervillain, do you?
- Couldn't hurt to ask.
Hey.
Margo amazingness, really?
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, um, moon dog,
do you know where claudel is?
- She said it's okay
if I use her jewelry-making kit.
- Yeah, okay.
- I'm making this
for that superhero, Fridge.
Think he'll like it?
- [Chuckles bitterly]
I think he would have loved it.
But he's a supervillain now,
so you might want
to keep your distance.
- Eh, supervillain, superhero--
those are just labels, man.
- Yeah, right.
Look, have you seen claudel?
- Yeah, she's out back.
- Great.
- Hey, how did you know my name?
- You look like a moon dog.
Hey.
Before you say anything,
I just--
I want to tell you some stuff.
Um, I'm Fridge.
I was a superhero.
And not a very good one.
- That's why you were acting
so strange,
'cause you couldn't tell me
who you really were.
- No, who I really am
is Brendan--is this guy.
I just didn't want
to tell you about Fridge,
because, well, you seem to hate
superheroes so much, so...
- I don't hate superheroes.
It's just, um, complicated.
- Oh, no, I get it.
I just wanted to say
that before I met you,
my life was an emotional
nightmare, basically.
And you saved me from that.
You did,
because you seemed to like me
for the real me.
And that felt really nice.
And I just kind of wish that we
could start from scratch.
- Well, you know,
there's nothing stopping us
from doing that.
We just met.
- Well, actually,
there is one thing stopping us.
- What?
- There is a giant conspiracy
to use my alter ego
to get government funding back
for superheroes.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- So that's it.
No dinner?
[Romantic music playing]
- you don't need
to leap over buildings
in a single bound
or run to me faster
than the speed of sound
you don't need X-ray vision
to look into my heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
just the way you are
you don't need to fly
around the world
to show a girl a good time
you don't need telepathy
you can already read my mind
and you don't need
super strength
to hold me in your arms
you're my hero
just the way you are
[dramatic music]
- Hey.
Who's that?
- I can explain.
- This is good.
- This doesn't involve the cops.
I suggest you put the gun away.
- You know, I always wanted
to be one of you guys--
colorful uniform, publicist,
alter ego.
By day,
And by night, doctor invisible.
Maybe...Captain unseeable.
- We can do that.
- That's where I belong.
- That can still happen.
Just put the gun away.
- You know, at least claudel
made me feel special.
But you had to try and rob me
of that as well, didn't you?
- Officer!
[Gunshots]
- No, no, no, hold on a second.
That could be dangerous.
- Well, aren't you used
to danger,
being a superhero?
- [Sighs]
Shit.
I don't even have my uniform.
- Brendan?
You don't need your uniform.
- Freeze.
- But I thought you said
you were Fridge.
- I was.
- You didn't get the joke, babe.
I said, "freeze,"
and I'm dressed as the freezer.
- Fridge.
It's short for refrigerator.
- Jimmy, what are you doing
in that outfit?
- I'm a superhero now.
All I have to do
is change this letter to a "g"
for gun power.
- He shot C-Thru.
- It's a bird.
It's a plane.
[Gunshot]
It's a stupid dead bitch.
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
- [Panting]
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
- I'm gonna be fine.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, I'm gonna be fine.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
- You're gonna be okay.
- Yeah, no, seriously,
I'm gonna be okay.
[Warbling tone]
- You healed yourself.
You've got--
- healing powers, yeah.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I was gonna tell you.
I've just kept it a secret
for so long.
I just didn't want it
to be the only thing
that people cared about.
[Breathing heavily]
- Yeah, tell me about it.
You okay?
- Yeah.
- C-Thru.
Come on.
Can you get up?
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude.
Can you heal him?
- Well, if he's still alive,
I can.
[Warbling tone]
- Come on, bud.
Claudel saved you.
She's got superpowers.
- Yeah, let's keep that
on the d.L., please.
- Brendan--
- look, just save it, all right?
You're one lucky piece of shit.
- Jimmy's dead.
I can't heal him.
- Oh, man.
Well, he did shoot you.
- So what happens now?
- As far as I'm concerned,
that's Fridge right there.
- Fridge is dead.
- Just as I was starting
to like superheroes.
- I'll take it from here.
[Grunting]
I got a report to write
about a dead superhero.
Hey, Brendan?
You think you'll ever
forgive me?
- [Sighs]
Sure.
Over my dead body.
- Good night
I say to you
good night
dream
of all the impossible
and when you wake
you'll see
that all these dreams
aren't fake
they're real
not impossible
believe
you'll be all right
sad things
you keep inside
so go
tell me what it's like
tell me what you like
about when you dream
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh
- With their funding
fully restored,
the supercorps determined
that Fridge,
whose body was found
washed up on shore,
was not evil,
but only under the mind-control
powers of shrink,
who faked his own death
to escape custody.
Shrink is still at large,
and considered
incredibly dangerous.
New evidence shows
he was responsible
for the deaths
of two superheroes in 1992.
Supercorps leader,
captain amazingness,
has pledged to spare no effort
in capturing shrink.
For the first time,
the supercorps
has confirmed the identity
of one of its members.
Fridge has been identified
as local police officer
His family and friends
claim they are not surprised
to find out that Jimmy
was a superhero.
"He had a true love
for justice," his wife says.
"He was one of the good guys,
and that's rare."
- The other day,
I took my third-grade class
into the park,
and three third-graders
found underwear in the bushes.
- Do I think guns are good?
No, I don't, really.
But I would sooner have a gun
in the hands of sunburn
than some law-enforcement
officials.
- What am I going to do
with a taser
if a guy is half a mile away?
I need pistols.
- I'd even go so far as to say,
you know, I would put
a stealth bomber in his hands.
- Superheroes, like yourself,
are getting their powers
younger and younger these days.
- Well, I mean,
some people think
it's like the hormones
in the cows
and that we spray on crops,
but I think it's cosmological.
- Now, we know what kind
of problems puberty causes
in a normal human being,
so we can only imagine what must
be going through the mind
of these troubled
teenage individuals
who suddenly have--
suddenly have fire
coming out of their fingertips
or pieces of metal
flying at their body.
I once had a young patient
whose parents thought,
"she's just bumping
into things."
But really things were bumping
into her.
See, she had just
developed magnetism
and couldn't control it.
[Romantic music]
- you don't need
to leap over buildings
in a single bound
or run to me faster
than the speed of sound
you don't need X-ray vision
to look into my heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
just the way you are
you don't need to fly
around the world
to show a girl a good time
you don't need telepathy
you can already read my mind
and you don't need
super strength
to hold me in your arms
you're my hero
just the way you are
you don't need a Batmobile
to take me to the prom
don't have to be
the man of steel
to diffuse this little bomb
all you got to do
is open up your heart
you're my hero
just the way you are
you don't have
to move mountains
to show your sweetness
'cause, baby, you move me
without telekinesis
don't need to take me
to the moon
to show me all the stars
you're my hero
just the way you are
don't have to stop
one of the trains
with your bare hands
or befriend supervillains
just to stop
their evil plans
believe me when I say
I loved you from the start
you're my hero
just the way you are