Amazing Ape (2016) Movie Script
[FILM ROLLS]
NARRATOR: Some stories you
hear about apes are frightening.
We have things like King Kong
and Charlton Heston
telling you all the reasons
that you should
be afraid of them.
And that they're gonna
destroy the world.
This isn't one of those stories.
This is the story
of someone special.
It's the story of a
chimpanzee named Simon
and how he saved me when
I was 9 years old.
[GUN COCKS]
Hey, boys.
Give us the money.
Money, you want the money?
We got your monkey.
You want money, I got the money.
Go on, make it quick.
See this? See the money?
I see the money,
give us the money!
All right. Give me the monkey.
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
There you go.
Look at that.
[GRUNTS]
Yeah.
All right, boys.
Relax.
[BIRDS SINGING]
[CHIMPANZEES SCREECHING]
WOMAN:
That's Simon.
He's a full-grown
male chimpanzee.
Five-and-a-half feet tall.
Life expectancy is
60 years, and his DNA,
more than 98 percent
identical to that of a human.
His closest relative?
It's not a gorilla.
It's us, it's humans.
Simon's actually capable
of combining words
to identify new objects.
For example, referring to
a swan as a water bird.
An Alka-Seltzer
is a listen drink.
Chimpanzees can
even fly spaceships.
That's right. November 29th,
1961, Simon's grandfather,
5-year-old Enos,
was launched into space.
Due to a malfunction
in the capsule,
Enos was given electric shocks
for every correct maneuver
he made.
Instead of changing his
behavior, he endured the shocks,
and performed the tasks
he knew were right.
A year later,
John Glenn orbited the earth.
In March 1962,
four million New Yorkers
shower confetti
over the astronauts.
The astro-chimps
were not so lucky.
Okay, that'll be
all for today, folks.
Lieutenant, have your men
escort these civilians off base.
I know, I know.
Oh, you know.
You know how illegal it is
for non-military personnel
to bring civilians on base?
People need to see Simon
and witness his intelligence
if chimps are ever gonna get
the rights that they deserve.
Yeah, or get me court-martialed.
[SIGHS]
Dad.
Breathe.
[SIGHS]
Breathe in...
breathe out, close your eyes.
Nice, steady breaths.
This is what people call
taking time out to relax.
Come here.
[LAUGHS]
You wanna have dinner tonight?
I'm picking up
Miss Hadle and Brian
from the senior
apartments for a movie.
Oh. So do you have them
leaping over tall buildings
in a single bound yet?
Soon.
I think it's amazing
how you volunteer there.
You've really turned
their lives around.
You're also turning
around my waistband size.
Love you, baby.
Love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
Simon, you did so great!
[HOOTS EXCITEDLY]
I'm gonna get you guys out
of this place, I promise.
Just hang in there.
[GROANS]
Albert! Sit.
[SIGHS]
You're the boss.
For now.
[SIGHS]
You bet I am.
Your mom answers to no one.
[ROARS]
[COUGHING]
Sorry.
Hey! Eat your food.
Albie, come on.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Hi.
Hi, if you could
just fill this out.
I'm here for my test results.
Last name Mincheff.
RECEPTIONIST: You're
still gonna have to fill this out.
I already filled it out
last time and the time before.
I'm just here to see Dr. Keller
for my test results.
I'm not here for treatment.
And since that does
say treatment form.
[CLIPBOARD CLATTERS]
RECEPTIONIST: Miss
Mincheff? Please have a seat.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
You must be hungry.
I feel like Mexican food,
what about you?
Sure, but after, ice cream
and movie of my choice.
It's Tuesday, remember?
Okay.
NURSE: Miss Mincheff?
The doctor will see you now.
Come on.
VOICE [OVER P.A.]: Dr. Saul,
please call extension 311...
[VOICE CONTINUES SPEAKING OVER
PA INDISTINCTLY]
[SIGHS]
Hey, Miranda.
How's the lab treatin' ya?
Hey, Albert, go see the nurse,
I think she has
some candy for you.
Your mother and I need to talk.
He knows he's sick.
We're in this together.
Just tell me what's
wrong with my little boy.
Miranda, I'm sorry, there's
no easy way to say this.
So I'm gonna come straight
from the textbook.
He has Ewing's sarcoma.
It's rare form of cancer.
Although radiation's only a
futile option at this stage,
it'll need to be explored.
ALBERT: Radiation? That
makes your hair fall out.
The other kids already
think I'm weird.
You can quit school, honey.
I'll stay home and we can
watch TV all day, okay, baby?
I'm not quitting school
and I'm not getting radiation.
I don't wanna be a freak.
Why don't y'all
just leave me alone!
Three to six weeks.
[INSECTS CHIRRING]
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Wow, what do we have here?
Yes?
Oh, you're a pretty girl.
Very pretty.
In fact, much too pretty to
be scooping out after animals.
Come on in here.
Close the door.
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[COUGHING]
Listen, these chimps
need a real home.
Yeah, they do.
I couldn't agree with you more.
What's going on?
I've got orders from
my commanding officer
regarding the chimps
and Dr. Sinclair.
You got plans, talk to me. Now.
Whoa, Riley.
Riley, that's your name?
May I ask you a question?
Um, you assume authority over
these chimps, so why is it?
I'm the only
representative they've got.
Now answer my question,
where are you taking them?
[LAUGHS] Well, they're not
citizens. They're just animals.
Answer my question,
where are you taking them?
What?
Yeah, where are they going?
All right, look, I'm sorry
we got off on the wrong foot.
I'll relay the information
through your father, all right,
but anywhere besides here
has to be better.
Make sure of it.
I will do that.
Thank you, ma'am.
Wow, that's a real wild
cat there.
[CHUCKLES]
Thanks for the tour, colonel.
Oh,
and have the specimens sedated
and ready for transport
at 0800 hours.
They're chimps. They don't need
to be sedated for transport.
They're very peaceful. In fact,
you'll find them very friendly.
Well, I don't take
wild beasts out in public
without sedating them, colonel.
You know that as well as I,
they can be very dangerous.
So, please, sedate them.
What exactly are your
plans for these chimps?
I do research.
What kind of research?
Well, I run a pharmaceutical
testing facility.
You're a vivisector. No, no!
These are special animals.
They deserve better than
to be in some torture lab...
These are my chimps.
All right?
I want my chimps, colonel.
What happened?
Nothing.
Wait, wait, Ri!
Just tell me what happened.
It's gonna be hard
for you to hear this.
Tell me!
He has permission to take
the chimps and use them
in a pharmaceutical
research facility.
What? No!
That's what they get after 35
years of rotting in that cage?
Experimentation in the labs?
Come on, they deserve
so much better than that.
They're your comrades.
They pioneered space.
You wanted to be an
astronaut, remember?
Okay, Riley, they're yours.
Where are you gonna put them?
Where are you going
to house 142 chimps?
[SIGHS]
I warned you about
gettin' too close to them.
[SIGHS]
Come on, don't.
Don't cry.
[CHIMP HOOTING]
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
What's going on?
Why aren't you in school?
They were forcing all
the kids, the teachers,
everyone to get a shot.
I hid, then I escaped.
Well, then,
you wanna see my pet ants?
Sure.
GIRL:
Ants don't ever need shots.
Or any other insects.
They're all fine.
Why are humans so dumb?
You know that every ant
has a piece of an idea?
And as they all pass
each other and touch,
the idea becomes whole?
Don't forget, who's the head
of the school's genius program?
You are.
[GROANING]
What's wrong?
Oh, my gosh, I have
ants in my pants!
Genius, huh?
Albert,
help me get off these jeans!
What?
I'm wearing a bathing suit.
Pull!
Albert!
Get dressed.
Mom, she's dressed.
She's wearing her bathing suit.
Now I know why you
like school so much.
You know, Dr. Keller
wants you in the hospital.
I don't wanna go
to the hospital.
Okay. For now.
[CHIMP GRUNTS]
I know, I'm starving.
How 'bout tacos?
Simon, some really bad
stuff's been going on.
Now the colonel can't
protect us anymore.
We're gonna have to
leave tonight.
[CHIMP VOCALIZING GENTLY]
[CHIMP GRUNTS]
No, Simon, we can't
go back to the base.
We just need to find out where
they're taking the others.
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Okay.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Albie! Ordering pizza.
Sausage, pepperoni, what else?
No, thanks.
I'm goin' to bed.
Okay.
At least take your meds.
When I can I stop
taking the pills?
Honey, they're
helping you get better.
[SIGHS]
Oh, fine.
[SIGHS]
Good night.
Hey!
I love you.
Love you too.
Where's little Albert?
He wanted to wait in the car.
Kids are usually afraid.
They don't understand.
Anyway, down to business.
Latest test results
show no change.
No change at all?
The drugs aren't strong enough.
He hates them.
He feels better without them.
We need to start chemotherapy.
[SIGHS]
Mom, no, just leave me alone.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
Whoo!
Bye.
I told you not to
ride your bike anymore.
Do you have any idea
how sick you are?
I should put you in the
hospital, like the doctor says.
Why aren't you at work?
Your mother, among other
things, is always working.
[SIGHS]
You see that truck?
It's a new load
of chimps I'm inspecting.
The senior $600,000 med,
not to mention his name,
butthead's kids are sick.
They have the flu.
I'm sitting him down,
grossly humiliating him
just within the confines of
the law, and when he begs,
I'm gonna axe him.
Come on. Let's get this truck
to the lab so we can go.
Why do you need to
inspect the chimps, again?
To make sure they're not sick.
I don't want them infecting
the other lab animals.
Get 'em all in okay?
There were a couple misbehaving,
but they're good to go now.
Okay. Follow me.
I'll take you up to the lab.
Got it.
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Simon?
Simon!
Hey, man.
Your hairy gene's
on full effect here.
Regardless, you can't
be out like this.
We gotta get some
clothes on you.
They see you, you're gonna
get your butt in jail, pronto.
[SIGHS]
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
There, now, at least
you're street legal.
Sorta. Here.
A little somethin' somethin'.
Okay.
Come on!
WOMAN:
Riley?
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
[LAUGHS]
Is this big boy Albert?
Hi.
You know, I knew you
when you were just a baby.
You weren't much older yourself.
I was after you
were through with me.
Can I play with the locator?
Sure.
It's malfunctioning anyway.
It's in the car.
Yes!
Thanks, Mom!
I know just the place.
Come on.
He's beautiful.
And he's a straight-A
student too.
Would you believe that?
Just like his mom.
It's really good to see you.
I thought about you.
A lot.
Are you okay?
You seem really sad.
I've had some hard times,
to say the least.
Albert's sick.
He has cancer and it spread.
He's gonna die.
Miranda, listen closely to me.
There's a way to fully
regenerate his body
in six months.
No dangerous procedures,
just yoga and raw food.
Riley, Albert is terminally ill.
They've given us three weeks.
It's simple.
You know how they make plastic?
They heat up oil.
It's the exact way that humans
eat breakfast, lunch,
and dinner.
Chemicalized and poisoned
plastics heated over metal.
I mean, just because
somebody says that it's food
doesn't make it so.
If you eat poison all day...
Riley.
You'll get sick
and you'll stay sick.
And if you wanna get better,
don't turn to knives
and radiation and drugs.
Just stop taking the poison.
Look, without doctors
and dentists, wild animals,
they live in perfect condition.
The only fundamental difference
between us and other species
is they're raw and we're cooked.
Riley, cooked food didn't
give my little boy cancer.
I gotta go.
Call me tonight.
Simon!
Simon!
WOMAN:
You are so cute!
[WOMEN COOING]
Don't forget, my name's Cherry!
And I'm Crystal.
And you can bring
champagne and strawberries
next time, if you want.
Yes, strawberries!
Definitely strawberries!
Well, have a good day!
We'll hopefully see you soon!
Oh, thank you!
Don't forget us!
Can you imagine
having to wax that man?
He was no man.
He was an animal.
[LOCATOR BEEPING]
[SIMON SCREECHES]
[ALBERT YELLS]
Simon! Oh, Simon,
I told you not to do that.
I'm sorry. Look at you,
you're white as a ghost.
Simon just has a
wicked sense of humor
from all those tasteless
movies he watches.
And another thing.
You're gonna be fine.
Wow, I haven't
heard that one before.
Everyone else just tells
me I'm going to die.
Well, they're wrong.
There's a way to get you better.
Come on.
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
MIRANDA:
This place is a nightmare.
Get outta my way!
Psychos.
[CROWD CHANTING]
You're gonna need this.
Hey.
You need to read that.
You go to jail!
You go to jail!
Disease research
is a big rip-off lie.
With all this testing,
no disease has ever been cured,
from cancer to the common cold,
even athlete's foot.
Polio was cured.
It says here polio has no cure.
Measles?
Twenty million people are
affected by measles each year.
Throw that thing
out the window. Now.
That's littering, Mom.
Yeah, well,
spreading those lies is litter.
Hey, dude, can you do
something about this?
[SIGHS]
Are you okay for school?
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INSECTS CHIRRING]
[]
[WATER BABBLING]
[DART GUN POPS]
[ENGINE RUMBLING]
Simon! Stop!
Stop!
[ENGINE REVVING]
Simon! Simon! Stop!
I need your car.
No way.
I need your car.
No way.
Hey, come here!
[ENGINE STARTS]
Hi.
Hi.
Here are your messages.
Thank you.
Hi, Albert.
Hey.
What's the matter?
You sound so gloomy.
Well, I just found
out that my prognosis
for a painful,
early death will now
involve lethal
doses of radiation.
My hair will fall out and I'll
soon become too weak for school.
I'm not going to school
with no hair.
Well, anyway, I'll quit school
and retreat to the hospital,
and die a radioactive
death by 9.
If I'm lucky.
It'll be okay.
No, it's not.
It's all as bad as it could be.
They tell me any day now,
it's about to get worse.
Albie.
Told you not to do that anymore.
I'll be back.
I wanna go with you.
You're not allowed in
the lab and you know that.
Why not?
Because I said so.
Apologize to Jessie.
[PHONE RINGING]
Sorry I made you cry.
Oh, Albert, it's okay.
I'm so sorry.
That Dr. Sinclair
guy took Simon.
I think he's gonna kill him.
I know where they are.
Let's go.
Ri, stop.
You need to get a
grip on reality.
Dr. Sinclair didn't take Simon.
You did.
Obstruction of justice,
grand theft auto,
breaking and entering,
larceny, resisting arrest.
$50,000 bail.
You could go to prison!
This ends here.
Now, I've been here
for three hours.
I've gotta be up in another two.
I'm not bailing you out again.
Simon is truth.
He's knowledge, he's a way to
make the world a better place.
Once I get him in front
of the right officials,
they'll see his abilities and
animals will gain new rights,
which will lead to
greater consciousness,
which will all
lead to the shift.
It's the only hope
this godforsaken world has.
I need your help!
What, do you think you're
gonna save the world?
Do you know who
you're up against?
Now, these monsters,
they will jail you.
They will stick
you in a loony bin.
They'll bury you in
a bogus car accident.
That's the way they work,
and I'm not gonna let them
do that to you!
So you're not even brainwashed.
You're just afraid.
You know,
you're all fighting against
the one thing
you claim to protect.
The weak and innocent.
[DOOR BUZZES]
[CHIMPS VOCALIZING]
[CAGE RATTLES]
I want this one.
[DART GUN POPS]
[CHIMP GASPING]
[CAGE RATTLES]
[GROWLING]
You know, at this rate,
these three won't last
through the day.
[GROWLING]
I'm gonna order some more.
Maybe we can get a
rush delivery on it.
MIRANDA:
Get me some babies.
Got a few things I want to try.
How many you want?
Half-dozen.
[CHIMP GROWLING]
[ANIMALS VOCALIZING]
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hey.
Hi.
I brought you some stuff.
I only have a few minutes.
Okay.
Albie's got the
food thing covered.
But there's so much
more to it than that.
We have to check the medicine
cabinets, underneath the sink.
Everything needs to be replaced
with non-toxic alternatives
from the health food store.
Better yet,
you can use natural ingredients
like honey as shampoo.
Does that even bubble?
The ocean's dying
because we need bubbles.
What about hair conditioner?
Just a little lemon
juice and warm water.
Your hair will be
silky smooth, I promise.
Did you get that blender?
Yeah.
Okay. I want to show you
how to make milk from scratch.
It's so easy.
Just some nuts.
And honey.
And some water.
[BLENDER RUMBLES]
Go ahead and pour that.
I'll get the other stuff out.
Smell that.
What is it?
Sage.
Makes a great all-natural
air freshener.
No trash, no industry.
What about deodorant?
There's really all kinds you
can use, as long it's organic.
Toothpaste?
I like to use just straight
tea tree oil, sea salt,
trace minerals, maybe some neem,
a little bit of ground cloves,
just mix it all together.
Did you know on kids'
toothpaste, on the back it says,
keep out of reach of children.
What?
The amount you use when
you brush, if you swallow it,
they say to contact
poison control immediately.
[SIGHS]
Who taught you that about aloe?
My mom's friend, Riley.
It also works as hair gel.
Well, watch what I can do.
Wow, that's the
coolest thing ever!
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
What do you think?
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
I know.
Are you kidding?
It's amazing.
Mmm.
Isn't this lifestyle
just too hard?
It was for about the first
week during transition,
but now, I don't know how
I lived the other way before
at all.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're gonna be fine.
I gotta go.
You can keep all the stuff.
Peace.
[SIGHS]
Peace.
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
Albert, I need your help.
Please get out of the pool.
Simon's in trouble.
I need your help.
What can I do?
I'm just a kid.
Ow.
We're just kids.
Simon's at your mom's lab.
What? Mom's lab?
I need you to get her badge.
Sorry to get you involved,
but Simon doesn't have time.
We need to get him
out immediately.
You get the badge
and I'll do the rest.
I have some cool spy
stuff I can bring too.
And we're little, so we
can fit through any bars.
This isn't a game, kids.
I'm sorry, but you can't come.
That lab is ginormous.
You'll never find
him without us.
Well, you can make me a map.
We both go, or no deal.
You need us and you know it.
All right. You win.
I could use a guide through the
lab and you are pretty small.
I'll pick you up at 8.
Check.
So is Simon some
kinda super chimp?
Yeah, he comes
from a long line of chimps
that used to work
for the humans.
His dad was named Enos.
They were astronauts.
I wish I could be
an astronaut in space.
You're free to do
whatever you wish.
Yeah, Albert.
[SIGHS]
Okay.
I'll pick you up at 8.
Bye.
Bye.
[DOOR BUZZES]
[LOCK BEEPS]
[CHIMPS VOCALIZING]
Simon.
[DOG BARKS]
Simon.
Simon.
RILEY: Simon!
ALBERT: Simon.
Simon!
RILEY: Simon!
ALBERT:
Simon!
Oh, Simon!
Oh, my God, Simon.
Simon,
what happened to your arm?
It's okay.
Mom?
It's okay.
We're gonna get you out of here.
The keys!
It's okay.
It's okay.
Come on.
I'm gonna get this
tracking chip out.
Got it.
Now, let's go.
MAN:
The chimp is gone.
What do you mean, gone?
As in stolen,
that's what I mean.
And it happens to be the
very animal I specifically
instructed you to lobotomize.
Why didn't you
perform the surgery?
Thought I would use
him for testing first,
seeing as he was a
perfectly good specimen.
When I tell you to do
something, I have my reasons.
You have no idea what
trouble you have caused me.
Miss Mincheff, uh,
did anyone else have access
to your badge last night?
Say, around midnight?
'Cause the computers here
at your lab
show that somebody was here.
And although your
cameras don't show it,
somebody was in your building.
Look, this is my center.
Why would I steal...
Uh, my center.
Okay, well, I run the center.
Well, that's debatable.
Just tell these detectives to
talk to the protesters outside
and stop wasting my time.
Okay.
There's obviously
a glitch in the system.
My badge was with me all night
and I never left the house.
She didn't take the chimp.
I know that for a fact.
She does run things around here.
But please, find this animal
before he hurts somebody.
Chimpanzees, when they
attack, they usually go
for the groin or the face.
Believe me,
I can testify to that.
And if I may make a suggestion,
it would be to order
your men to shoot it on sight.
On sight?
On sight.
If you think of anything else,
Miss Mincheff,
give me a call.
Uh, Miranda, before you leave,
don't you have a son?
Yeah. I have a little boy
who's terminally ill
with only weeks to live.
You think he stole a 450-pound
vicious, rabid beast?
[SCOFFS]
[WATCH BEEPING]
What is that?
Oh, it's to remind
me to take my pills.
I have a disease, remember?
I take them sometimes,
but only 'cause I promised
my mom I would.
These pills kill the disease.
RILEY:
No, this is junk.
Well, what else am
I supposed to eat?
Like, if I were hungry now?
Which I am.
What's he doing?
[INSECTS BUZZING]
Just honey?
Albert, he's right,
honey is a perfect
antimicrobial,
meaning, it doesn't support
mold, fungus, or yeast.
And in your current state,
I'd say it's just what you need.
Hey.
It's pretty good honey.
Mm-hm.
Actually, it's great.
Could make a fort right here.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
Where were you? Do you know
how worried I've been?
Why didn't you call me?
Have you been in the sun?
Um... No.
Don't you lie to me.
Look at you, you're tan.
Simon says the sun is the source
of all life on the planet.
Simon sure has a lot to say.
Well, he's my new friend.
Yeah?
Well, when do I get to meet
this friend? Or his parents?
Um, you've met Simon and
he doesn't have any parents.
He doesn't have any parents?
They're in prison.
[SCOFFS] Why?
Um, the government put them
there for discovering space.
Albie, how do you
come up with this stuff?
I think I've got you
on too much medication.
Oh, and, uh, can my friend
borrow $2 and stay for dinner?
Are you Simon?
Mom, this is Eli, not Simon.
Hey, listen, kid,
just the cash, okay?
Dinner doesn't
smell too friendly.
Great, thanks.
Well, have a good night.
Thanks.
You know, Genesis 1:29.
And do unto the smallest
of his creatures as you would
do unto thy Lord almighty.
Is the thanks I get
for making you dinner?
Thank you, goodbye.
How could you have your pudding
if you don't eat your meat?
Bye.
Uh, okay, I admit it,
he's really weird,
but he's my friend
and he's also really smart.
[SIGHS] Albie, I don't want
you hanging out with adults.
All right.
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
Say grace, honey.
Simon says eat living foods.
What about an apple or salad?
We kill them to eat 'em.
That's what I thought. Then,
Simon showed me picking an apple
doesn't kill the tree.
And picking a leaf
doesn't kill the plant,
it actually helps them
by spreading its seeds,
giving us watery
food and oxygen.
Well, what do you
want to eat, Albert?
We need real food, Mom,
that comes from the earth
or a tree,
not a tin can or factory.
All right.
I'll talk to the doctor, okay?
In the jungle, heavy animal
cries always fill the air.
The babies were taken from
the jungle into the city.
And then something happened.
What? What happened?
What? What happened?
The humans took one
of the babies to a place
he could barely understand
or even comprehend.
Where?
Space.
The baby could actually
see the earth itself
from outside the window.
Many were sent, but he was
the only one to return.
He was called Enos, the one.
Simon's father.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
[SIGHS]
MAN [ON TV]: More on that story
later when we go live, direct from Cairo.
But first, it's time for our
"Here's to Your Health"
segment, with Ariel Michael
standing by at the Food
and Drug Administration
with some quite
astonishing news. Ariel.
ARIEL:
Yes, Bill, thank you.
I'm here at the Food and Drug
Administration
in Washington DC, where Swedish
and now American scientists
have discovered that
a cancer-causing chemical
known as acrylamide
is in practically
all processed foods.
BILL: So, what does the
public do to avoid the chemical?
ARIEL: Well, Bill, scientists
warn that while organic
does remove the toxic pesticides
out of the equation...
[TYPING]
[SIGHS]
[INHALES HEAVILY]
[SIGHS]
[CRYING]
I didn't know.
[SIGHS]
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
[WATER BABBLING]
[CHIMP HOOTING]
You're late. Again.
Did you take your medication?
Simon says don't take drugs.
You really hate the
pills that much, huh?
[SIGHS]
Well, then, you don't
have to take 'em anymore.
Are you really serious?
I wouldn't joke about
something like this.
No pills anymore, ever?
If it'll make you happy.
Oh, yeah.
[SIGHS]
Mom, please don't
do any bad things.
What do you think
I do that's bad?
Just be nice, okay?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Afternoon, Miranda.
Hey, little Albert.
Uh, we need to administer
some drugs before we can start
his first round of radiation.
He's gonna be here for awhile,
so we can monitor him,
make sure there's
no kidney failure
or any other complications.
Doctor, can we take
a blood test first?
Miranda, tests are done.
Be strong.
Look at him. He feels better.
He's like a new person.
He started this Simon says stuff
and this crazy
healthy diet, and it...
Simon says?
Look, I realize where
you're comin' from.
We are allowing corporations
to feed our children
carcinogens for profit.
I feel personally
responsible for his sickness.
As a parent, but also as
a civilized human being.
He needs this treatment
to save his life.
How about a way
of saving his life
that doesn't involve
the possibility of killing him?
Miranda, your son is dying
of a disease. Sooner or later,
you're gonna have to accept
that fact as a reality.
Look, Mom, no hands or feet!
Nurse, run a full
analysis on Albert,
so this woman can see the truth.
Yes, doctor.
Whee!
[SIGHS]
I don't understand.
It's impossible that this
drastic of a remission
could take place.
Oh!
Oh. This is a miracle.
Oh, thank you.
Cancer that spreads
to every part of the body
can't be cured
in a couple of months
without medical treatment.
Baby. Ahem.
Can you wait for
me outside, okay?
I just want to
talk to the doctor.
Don't go anywhere.
An apple a day really
does keep the doctor away.
There's just one problem
with that, isn't there?
You can't sell it, can you?
You know, I looked up
the ingredients used
in the foods served in
schools and hospitals
and cancer wards.
According to the FDA,
they're 98 percent carcinogenic.
It's all just a sick facade.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Simon, Riley, where are ya?
Hey.
Hey.
[RILEY SIGHS]
You want some lunch?
Hi, Simon.
Um, all right.
Wow, the tomatoes dried fast.
Mm-hm.
[SIGHS]
Is something wrong?
We need to get back to the lab.
I'm sorry, we've already
asked so much of you,
but there is something else.
I would do anything
for you or Simon,
or any other chimpanzees.
You truly are brave and noble.
I've never met such a real man.
Thanks.
[LOCK BEEPS]
[CAGE RATTLES]
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[ALARM BLARING]
Albert, no!
Mom, please don't hurt
Simon anymore, Mom.
Please, please!
What?!
He's my best friend.
Simon?
Simon.
I didn't know.
Oh, my God, I'm, I'm...
[SNIFFS]
Simon says the sun is
the source of all life
on the planet.
Yeah, well, when do I
get to meet this friend?
Or his parents?
Um, you've met Simon,
and he doesn't have any parents.
He doesn't have any parents?
They're in prison.
[SIGHS]
Oh, what have I done?
I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.
They just don't speak English,
Mom, but they are us.
All living creatures communicate
and feel and want to live.
[SIGHS]
Arrest these people.
These criminals,
these terrorists!
Miranda, what are you doing?
I cannot believe you.
Simon is a competent and
literate witness who's ready
to testify and press charges
against that monster.
I own this animal, detective.
Mr. Sinclair,
we're all animals.
And this one speaks
sign language
and is ready to press
charges against you now.
Yeah, detective,
please make a report.
Protect this victim
against further harm.
You know, the DA is building
a case against Dr. Sinclair.
Bribes to get your hands
on the astro-chimps?
Ties to poachers in Africa?
This lab will get shut down
and you will go to jail.
These accusations
are ridiculous.
These women stole classified
specimens from my lab.
One of 'em I employed
for the last 10 years
and paid a lot of money.
You're talking about money?
See, that proves it.
You're hiding something.
She stood there and stared
us right in the face and lied,
not to mention, she involved
a child in a crime.
That's a felony,
I believe, detective.
I'm well aware of
the law, Mr. Sinclair.
I am too and I know my rights,
and I want my property back.
My chimp.
They think and feel,
just like we do.
It's not testing, it's torture.
He saved my son's life.
He is an innocent,
defenseless animal
that needs your protection.
The chimp is his property.
It belongs to him.
No, he belongs to no one.
Simon, do you belong to him?
No, he has a right.
He has no rights.
It belongs to him.
Chain him up.
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
This is ridiculous.
Rome, it...
No, he... just wrote "free man."
I am not chainin' him up.
Well, I guess you
can wait in the car.
Oh, no, guess again.
Washington,
the chimp belongs to him.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You know what?
Link arms, come on.
What?
I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic
for which it stands,
one Nation under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and
justice for all.
That's our Pledge of Allegiance.
So whose law are we
enforcing right now?
Who are we really working for?
The chimp is mine, detective.
Now, get out, take
the people with you. Take 'em!
Okay, let's go, everybody.
It's over, come on.
But he's going to kill him!
You're the police, protect him!
It's your job.
I can only protect
you and your mother now.
Just get 'em outta here.
Get 'em out.
These people.
Let's get 'em out,
let's get 'em out.
No!
No!
No, Simon!
Simon!
[SHOUTS]
[TASER BUZZES]
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
Just get them outta here!
This is my lab, right?
[TASER BUZZES]
You want some of this?
Hm?
[CHUCKLES]
[CHIMP WHIMPERS]
MAN: Colonel.
Dad.
Take it easy, there.
[WASHINGTON MUMBLES]
Please, please,
he's gonna kill Simon.
You've gotta do something.
Colonel.
Please.
I never knew what
a true warrior was.
I thought I did.
I thought it was me.
No fear, no surrender.
So as your commanding officer,
I'm giving you an order.
Attack.
And, guys.
I'd watch it if I were you.
In her 25 years, my daughter
somehow always gets her way.
All right. Get out.
Everybody, vacate the premises.
This is getting ridiculous.
Get outta here.
Soldier.
Fight. Be the warrior, an
animal, attack.
I said vacate the premises.
A warrior knows
no fear, only glory,
giving every last drop of
blood for the good of man.
Sure, go ahead. Arrest a girl
who's trying to save an animal
who wants to live in a
world that wants to die.
Come on. Arrest her
for love and compassion.
Riley, through you,
the animals have their voice.
Not this animal, colonel.
Why this chimp from all
the others, Sinclair?
[PHONE RINGING]
Why? Because of what Simon
can do for chimpanzee rights
across the board.
Doesn't sound too good for
the chimp import business, huh?
I'll tell you why.
You wanna know why?
Look, I'm not the criminal here.
Dr. Sinclair, I just got
a call from headquarters.
There's an indictment
for your arrest.
What?
Put your hands behind your back!
All right.
[TASER CLATTERS]
You think you're clever?
Great.
You know what?
You just don't know...
Hey, take it easy!
Take it easy!
[DART WHISTLING]
[GUN CLATTERS]
No, stop! Stop!
Simon, get him.
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
[GRUNTS]
He wants to shake hands,
Sinclair.
It seems Simon's the
only one civilized enough
to not choose violence.
[SIGHS]
I don't know.
You feel?
You can communicate?
In fact, you wrote
"free man," "free man."
[SIGHS]
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
So sorry.
A chimp.
A chimp.
[SIGHS]
Cute little... monkeys.
[CHUCKLES]
Who knew?
Um, I'm a doctor.
A good doctor.
I want to help him with his arm.
I think it's out of socket.
Yeah...
Please.
It's out of socket,
let me just...
There you go.
Let me see this.
Okay, look.
Watch this, all right?
[ARM CRACKS]
There! There you go.
There, that's it.
That's it.
You're good.
Mom.
You okay, baby?
I feel great.
[LAUGHS]
Thank you.
[CHIMP SCREECHING SOFTLY]
[LAUGHS]
ADULT ALBERT:
So I gotta be honest.
I lied about something.
Simon didn't just save me.
He also saved my mother.
He saved Riley,
and he even saved Dr. Sinclair.
Dr. Sinclair still went to
trial and was sentenced,
but I heard he got out
early for good behavior.
And last I was told,
he went to Africa
and he was running
a family clinic.
My mom and Riley,
they're still friends.
And they opened a
veterinary practice in 2005,
and it's been going
pretty well ever since.
As for Simon, he's safe.
He went to live with
other chimpanzees
at a wildlife
conservation center,
and he's never been happier.
I haven't seen him
in a few years now.
But I'll never forget him.
And as for mankind,
there's still a long way to go.
But we'll get there.
[]
Raise your hands
Whisper my name
Close your eyes
And wave goodbye
Hold on to your cheek
Stand up on your feet
Touch your nose
Wiggle your toes
Sit down on the chair
Hands up in the air
Because Simon says
What's going on?
Because Simon says
Show me the way home
Because Simon says
You're not alone
Because Simon
Says come on out and play
Jump around
Roll on the ground
Open your eyes
Look at the sky
Touching at the clouds
Say my name out loud
Touch your hair
Jump in the air
Running on the beach
For the sunset I reach
Because Simon says
Hope it's not all gone
Because Simon says
You have to hold on
Because Simon says
I'm not alone
Because Simon says
It's a sunny day
Simon says Hold my hand
Show me around
Jump on the ground
Pose one on Simon says
Straighten your tie
Touch the sky
Pull that thigh
All the way up
Higher the sky
Because Simon says
I must be strong
Because Simon says
The fight will go on
Because Simon says
That here is gone
Because Simon says
It's a lovely day
Because Simon says
You've gotta carry on
Because Simon says
Summer is not gone
Because Simon says
I'm not alone
Because Simon says
Come on out and play
Come on out and play
[]
NARRATOR: Some stories you
hear about apes are frightening.
We have things like King Kong
and Charlton Heston
telling you all the reasons
that you should
be afraid of them.
And that they're gonna
destroy the world.
This isn't one of those stories.
This is the story
of someone special.
It's the story of a
chimpanzee named Simon
and how he saved me when
I was 9 years old.
[GUN COCKS]
Hey, boys.
Give us the money.
Money, you want the money?
We got your monkey.
You want money, I got the money.
Go on, make it quick.
See this? See the money?
I see the money,
give us the money!
All right. Give me the monkey.
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
There you go.
Look at that.
[GRUNTS]
Yeah.
All right, boys.
Relax.
[BIRDS SINGING]
[CHIMPANZEES SCREECHING]
WOMAN:
That's Simon.
He's a full-grown
male chimpanzee.
Five-and-a-half feet tall.
Life expectancy is
60 years, and his DNA,
more than 98 percent
identical to that of a human.
His closest relative?
It's not a gorilla.
It's us, it's humans.
Simon's actually capable
of combining words
to identify new objects.
For example, referring to
a swan as a water bird.
An Alka-Seltzer
is a listen drink.
Chimpanzees can
even fly spaceships.
That's right. November 29th,
1961, Simon's grandfather,
5-year-old Enos,
was launched into space.
Due to a malfunction
in the capsule,
Enos was given electric shocks
for every correct maneuver
he made.
Instead of changing his
behavior, he endured the shocks,
and performed the tasks
he knew were right.
A year later,
John Glenn orbited the earth.
In March 1962,
four million New Yorkers
shower confetti
over the astronauts.
The astro-chimps
were not so lucky.
Okay, that'll be
all for today, folks.
Lieutenant, have your men
escort these civilians off base.
I know, I know.
Oh, you know.
You know how illegal it is
for non-military personnel
to bring civilians on base?
People need to see Simon
and witness his intelligence
if chimps are ever gonna get
the rights that they deserve.
Yeah, or get me court-martialed.
[SIGHS]
Dad.
Breathe.
[SIGHS]
Breathe in...
breathe out, close your eyes.
Nice, steady breaths.
This is what people call
taking time out to relax.
Come here.
[LAUGHS]
You wanna have dinner tonight?
I'm picking up
Miss Hadle and Brian
from the senior
apartments for a movie.
Oh. So do you have them
leaping over tall buildings
in a single bound yet?
Soon.
I think it's amazing
how you volunteer there.
You've really turned
their lives around.
You're also turning
around my waistband size.
Love you, baby.
Love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
Simon, you did so great!
[HOOTS EXCITEDLY]
I'm gonna get you guys out
of this place, I promise.
Just hang in there.
[GROANS]
Albert! Sit.
[SIGHS]
You're the boss.
For now.
[SIGHS]
You bet I am.
Your mom answers to no one.
[ROARS]
[COUGHING]
Sorry.
Hey! Eat your food.
Albie, come on.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Hi.
Hi, if you could
just fill this out.
I'm here for my test results.
Last name Mincheff.
RECEPTIONIST: You're
still gonna have to fill this out.
I already filled it out
last time and the time before.
I'm just here to see Dr. Keller
for my test results.
I'm not here for treatment.
And since that does
say treatment form.
[CLIPBOARD CLATTERS]
RECEPTIONIST: Miss
Mincheff? Please have a seat.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
You must be hungry.
I feel like Mexican food,
what about you?
Sure, but after, ice cream
and movie of my choice.
It's Tuesday, remember?
Okay.
NURSE: Miss Mincheff?
The doctor will see you now.
Come on.
VOICE [OVER P.A.]: Dr. Saul,
please call extension 311...
[VOICE CONTINUES SPEAKING OVER
PA INDISTINCTLY]
[SIGHS]
Hey, Miranda.
How's the lab treatin' ya?
Hey, Albert, go see the nurse,
I think she has
some candy for you.
Your mother and I need to talk.
He knows he's sick.
We're in this together.
Just tell me what's
wrong with my little boy.
Miranda, I'm sorry, there's
no easy way to say this.
So I'm gonna come straight
from the textbook.
He has Ewing's sarcoma.
It's rare form of cancer.
Although radiation's only a
futile option at this stage,
it'll need to be explored.
ALBERT: Radiation? That
makes your hair fall out.
The other kids already
think I'm weird.
You can quit school, honey.
I'll stay home and we can
watch TV all day, okay, baby?
I'm not quitting school
and I'm not getting radiation.
I don't wanna be a freak.
Why don't y'all
just leave me alone!
Three to six weeks.
[INSECTS CHIRRING]
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Wow, what do we have here?
Yes?
Oh, you're a pretty girl.
Very pretty.
In fact, much too pretty to
be scooping out after animals.
Come on in here.
Close the door.
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[COUGHING]
Listen, these chimps
need a real home.
Yeah, they do.
I couldn't agree with you more.
What's going on?
I've got orders from
my commanding officer
regarding the chimps
and Dr. Sinclair.
You got plans, talk to me. Now.
Whoa, Riley.
Riley, that's your name?
May I ask you a question?
Um, you assume authority over
these chimps, so why is it?
I'm the only
representative they've got.
Now answer my question,
where are you taking them?
[LAUGHS] Well, they're not
citizens. They're just animals.
Answer my question,
where are you taking them?
What?
Yeah, where are they going?
All right, look, I'm sorry
we got off on the wrong foot.
I'll relay the information
through your father, all right,
but anywhere besides here
has to be better.
Make sure of it.
I will do that.
Thank you, ma'am.
Wow, that's a real wild
cat there.
[CHUCKLES]
Thanks for the tour, colonel.
Oh,
and have the specimens sedated
and ready for transport
at 0800 hours.
They're chimps. They don't need
to be sedated for transport.
They're very peaceful. In fact,
you'll find them very friendly.
Well, I don't take
wild beasts out in public
without sedating them, colonel.
You know that as well as I,
they can be very dangerous.
So, please, sedate them.
What exactly are your
plans for these chimps?
I do research.
What kind of research?
Well, I run a pharmaceutical
testing facility.
You're a vivisector. No, no!
These are special animals.
They deserve better than
to be in some torture lab...
These are my chimps.
All right?
I want my chimps, colonel.
What happened?
Nothing.
Wait, wait, Ri!
Just tell me what happened.
It's gonna be hard
for you to hear this.
Tell me!
He has permission to take
the chimps and use them
in a pharmaceutical
research facility.
What? No!
That's what they get after 35
years of rotting in that cage?
Experimentation in the labs?
Come on, they deserve
so much better than that.
They're your comrades.
They pioneered space.
You wanted to be an
astronaut, remember?
Okay, Riley, they're yours.
Where are you gonna put them?
Where are you going
to house 142 chimps?
[SIGHS]
I warned you about
gettin' too close to them.
[SIGHS]
Come on, don't.
Don't cry.
[CHIMP HOOTING]
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
What's going on?
Why aren't you in school?
They were forcing all
the kids, the teachers,
everyone to get a shot.
I hid, then I escaped.
Well, then,
you wanna see my pet ants?
Sure.
GIRL:
Ants don't ever need shots.
Or any other insects.
They're all fine.
Why are humans so dumb?
You know that every ant
has a piece of an idea?
And as they all pass
each other and touch,
the idea becomes whole?
Don't forget, who's the head
of the school's genius program?
You are.
[GROANING]
What's wrong?
Oh, my gosh, I have
ants in my pants!
Genius, huh?
Albert,
help me get off these jeans!
What?
I'm wearing a bathing suit.
Pull!
Albert!
Get dressed.
Mom, she's dressed.
She's wearing her bathing suit.
Now I know why you
like school so much.
You know, Dr. Keller
wants you in the hospital.
I don't wanna go
to the hospital.
Okay. For now.
[CHIMP GRUNTS]
I know, I'm starving.
How 'bout tacos?
Simon, some really bad
stuff's been going on.
Now the colonel can't
protect us anymore.
We're gonna have to
leave tonight.
[CHIMP VOCALIZING GENTLY]
[CHIMP GRUNTS]
No, Simon, we can't
go back to the base.
We just need to find out where
they're taking the others.
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Okay.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Albie! Ordering pizza.
Sausage, pepperoni, what else?
No, thanks.
I'm goin' to bed.
Okay.
At least take your meds.
When I can I stop
taking the pills?
Honey, they're
helping you get better.
[SIGHS]
Oh, fine.
[SIGHS]
Good night.
Hey!
I love you.
Love you too.
Where's little Albert?
He wanted to wait in the car.
Kids are usually afraid.
They don't understand.
Anyway, down to business.
Latest test results
show no change.
No change at all?
The drugs aren't strong enough.
He hates them.
He feels better without them.
We need to start chemotherapy.
[SIGHS]
Mom, no, just leave me alone.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
Whoo!
Bye.
I told you not to
ride your bike anymore.
Do you have any idea
how sick you are?
I should put you in the
hospital, like the doctor says.
Why aren't you at work?
Your mother, among other
things, is always working.
[SIGHS]
You see that truck?
It's a new load
of chimps I'm inspecting.
The senior $600,000 med,
not to mention his name,
butthead's kids are sick.
They have the flu.
I'm sitting him down,
grossly humiliating him
just within the confines of
the law, and when he begs,
I'm gonna axe him.
Come on. Let's get this truck
to the lab so we can go.
Why do you need to
inspect the chimps, again?
To make sure they're not sick.
I don't want them infecting
the other lab animals.
Get 'em all in okay?
There were a couple misbehaving,
but they're good to go now.
Okay. Follow me.
I'll take you up to the lab.
Got it.
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
Simon?
Simon!
Hey, man.
Your hairy gene's
on full effect here.
Regardless, you can't
be out like this.
We gotta get some
clothes on you.
They see you, you're gonna
get your butt in jail, pronto.
[SIGHS]
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
There, now, at least
you're street legal.
Sorta. Here.
A little somethin' somethin'.
Okay.
Come on!
WOMAN:
Riley?
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
[LAUGHS]
Is this big boy Albert?
Hi.
You know, I knew you
when you were just a baby.
You weren't much older yourself.
I was after you
were through with me.
Can I play with the locator?
Sure.
It's malfunctioning anyway.
It's in the car.
Yes!
Thanks, Mom!
I know just the place.
Come on.
He's beautiful.
And he's a straight-A
student too.
Would you believe that?
Just like his mom.
It's really good to see you.
I thought about you.
A lot.
Are you okay?
You seem really sad.
I've had some hard times,
to say the least.
Albert's sick.
He has cancer and it spread.
He's gonna die.
Miranda, listen closely to me.
There's a way to fully
regenerate his body
in six months.
No dangerous procedures,
just yoga and raw food.
Riley, Albert is terminally ill.
They've given us three weeks.
It's simple.
You know how they make plastic?
They heat up oil.
It's the exact way that humans
eat breakfast, lunch,
and dinner.
Chemicalized and poisoned
plastics heated over metal.
I mean, just because
somebody says that it's food
doesn't make it so.
If you eat poison all day...
Riley.
You'll get sick
and you'll stay sick.
And if you wanna get better,
don't turn to knives
and radiation and drugs.
Just stop taking the poison.
Look, without doctors
and dentists, wild animals,
they live in perfect condition.
The only fundamental difference
between us and other species
is they're raw and we're cooked.
Riley, cooked food didn't
give my little boy cancer.
I gotta go.
Call me tonight.
Simon!
Simon!
WOMAN:
You are so cute!
[WOMEN COOING]
Don't forget, my name's Cherry!
And I'm Crystal.
And you can bring
champagne and strawberries
next time, if you want.
Yes, strawberries!
Definitely strawberries!
Well, have a good day!
We'll hopefully see you soon!
Oh, thank you!
Don't forget us!
Can you imagine
having to wax that man?
He was no man.
He was an animal.
[LOCATOR BEEPING]
[SIMON SCREECHES]
[ALBERT YELLS]
Simon! Oh, Simon,
I told you not to do that.
I'm sorry. Look at you,
you're white as a ghost.
Simon just has a
wicked sense of humor
from all those tasteless
movies he watches.
And another thing.
You're gonna be fine.
Wow, I haven't
heard that one before.
Everyone else just tells
me I'm going to die.
Well, they're wrong.
There's a way to get you better.
Come on.
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
MIRANDA:
This place is a nightmare.
Get outta my way!
Psychos.
[CROWD CHANTING]
You're gonna need this.
Hey.
You need to read that.
You go to jail!
You go to jail!
Disease research
is a big rip-off lie.
With all this testing,
no disease has ever been cured,
from cancer to the common cold,
even athlete's foot.
Polio was cured.
It says here polio has no cure.
Measles?
Twenty million people are
affected by measles each year.
Throw that thing
out the window. Now.
That's littering, Mom.
Yeah, well,
spreading those lies is litter.
Hey, dude, can you do
something about this?
[SIGHS]
Are you okay for school?
[PROTESTERS CHANTING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INSECTS CHIRRING]
[]
[WATER BABBLING]
[DART GUN POPS]
[ENGINE RUMBLING]
Simon! Stop!
Stop!
[ENGINE REVVING]
Simon! Simon! Stop!
I need your car.
No way.
I need your car.
No way.
Hey, come here!
[ENGINE STARTS]
Hi.
Hi.
Here are your messages.
Thank you.
Hi, Albert.
Hey.
What's the matter?
You sound so gloomy.
Well, I just found
out that my prognosis
for a painful,
early death will now
involve lethal
doses of radiation.
My hair will fall out and I'll
soon become too weak for school.
I'm not going to school
with no hair.
Well, anyway, I'll quit school
and retreat to the hospital,
and die a radioactive
death by 9.
If I'm lucky.
It'll be okay.
No, it's not.
It's all as bad as it could be.
They tell me any day now,
it's about to get worse.
Albie.
Told you not to do that anymore.
I'll be back.
I wanna go with you.
You're not allowed in
the lab and you know that.
Why not?
Because I said so.
Apologize to Jessie.
[PHONE RINGING]
Sorry I made you cry.
Oh, Albert, it's okay.
I'm so sorry.
That Dr. Sinclair
guy took Simon.
I think he's gonna kill him.
I know where they are.
Let's go.
Ri, stop.
You need to get a
grip on reality.
Dr. Sinclair didn't take Simon.
You did.
Obstruction of justice,
grand theft auto,
breaking and entering,
larceny, resisting arrest.
$50,000 bail.
You could go to prison!
This ends here.
Now, I've been here
for three hours.
I've gotta be up in another two.
I'm not bailing you out again.
Simon is truth.
He's knowledge, he's a way to
make the world a better place.
Once I get him in front
of the right officials,
they'll see his abilities and
animals will gain new rights,
which will lead to
greater consciousness,
which will all
lead to the shift.
It's the only hope
this godforsaken world has.
I need your help!
What, do you think you're
gonna save the world?
Do you know who
you're up against?
Now, these monsters,
they will jail you.
They will stick
you in a loony bin.
They'll bury you in
a bogus car accident.
That's the way they work,
and I'm not gonna let them
do that to you!
So you're not even brainwashed.
You're just afraid.
You know,
you're all fighting against
the one thing
you claim to protect.
The weak and innocent.
[DOOR BUZZES]
[CHIMPS VOCALIZING]
[CAGE RATTLES]
I want this one.
[DART GUN POPS]
[CHIMP GASPING]
[CAGE RATTLES]
[GROWLING]
You know, at this rate,
these three won't last
through the day.
[GROWLING]
I'm gonna order some more.
Maybe we can get a
rush delivery on it.
MIRANDA:
Get me some babies.
Got a few things I want to try.
How many you want?
Half-dozen.
[CHIMP GROWLING]
[ANIMALS VOCALIZING]
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hey.
Hi.
I brought you some stuff.
I only have a few minutes.
Okay.
Albie's got the
food thing covered.
But there's so much
more to it than that.
We have to check the medicine
cabinets, underneath the sink.
Everything needs to be replaced
with non-toxic alternatives
from the health food store.
Better yet,
you can use natural ingredients
like honey as shampoo.
Does that even bubble?
The ocean's dying
because we need bubbles.
What about hair conditioner?
Just a little lemon
juice and warm water.
Your hair will be
silky smooth, I promise.
Did you get that blender?
Yeah.
Okay. I want to show you
how to make milk from scratch.
It's so easy.
Just some nuts.
And honey.
And some water.
[BLENDER RUMBLES]
Go ahead and pour that.
I'll get the other stuff out.
Smell that.
What is it?
Sage.
Makes a great all-natural
air freshener.
No trash, no industry.
What about deodorant?
There's really all kinds you
can use, as long it's organic.
Toothpaste?
I like to use just straight
tea tree oil, sea salt,
trace minerals, maybe some neem,
a little bit of ground cloves,
just mix it all together.
Did you know on kids'
toothpaste, on the back it says,
keep out of reach of children.
What?
The amount you use when
you brush, if you swallow it,
they say to contact
poison control immediately.
[SIGHS]
Who taught you that about aloe?
My mom's friend, Riley.
It also works as hair gel.
Well, watch what I can do.
Wow, that's the
coolest thing ever!
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
What do you think?
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
I know.
Are you kidding?
It's amazing.
Mmm.
Isn't this lifestyle
just too hard?
It was for about the first
week during transition,
but now, I don't know how
I lived the other way before
at all.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're gonna be fine.
I gotta go.
You can keep all the stuff.
Peace.
[SIGHS]
Peace.
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
Albert, I need your help.
Please get out of the pool.
Simon's in trouble.
I need your help.
What can I do?
I'm just a kid.
Ow.
We're just kids.
Simon's at your mom's lab.
What? Mom's lab?
I need you to get her badge.
Sorry to get you involved,
but Simon doesn't have time.
We need to get him
out immediately.
You get the badge
and I'll do the rest.
I have some cool spy
stuff I can bring too.
And we're little, so we
can fit through any bars.
This isn't a game, kids.
I'm sorry, but you can't come.
That lab is ginormous.
You'll never find
him without us.
Well, you can make me a map.
We both go, or no deal.
You need us and you know it.
All right. You win.
I could use a guide through the
lab and you are pretty small.
I'll pick you up at 8.
Check.
So is Simon some
kinda super chimp?
Yeah, he comes
from a long line of chimps
that used to work
for the humans.
His dad was named Enos.
They were astronauts.
I wish I could be
an astronaut in space.
You're free to do
whatever you wish.
Yeah, Albert.
[SIGHS]
Okay.
I'll pick you up at 8.
Bye.
Bye.
[DOOR BUZZES]
[LOCK BEEPS]
[CHIMPS VOCALIZING]
Simon.
[DOG BARKS]
Simon.
Simon.
RILEY: Simon!
ALBERT: Simon.
Simon!
RILEY: Simon!
ALBERT:
Simon!
Oh, Simon!
Oh, my God, Simon.
Simon,
what happened to your arm?
It's okay.
Mom?
It's okay.
We're gonna get you out of here.
The keys!
It's okay.
It's okay.
Come on.
I'm gonna get this
tracking chip out.
Got it.
Now, let's go.
MAN:
The chimp is gone.
What do you mean, gone?
As in stolen,
that's what I mean.
And it happens to be the
very animal I specifically
instructed you to lobotomize.
Why didn't you
perform the surgery?
Thought I would use
him for testing first,
seeing as he was a
perfectly good specimen.
When I tell you to do
something, I have my reasons.
You have no idea what
trouble you have caused me.
Miss Mincheff, uh,
did anyone else have access
to your badge last night?
Say, around midnight?
'Cause the computers here
at your lab
show that somebody was here.
And although your
cameras don't show it,
somebody was in your building.
Look, this is my center.
Why would I steal...
Uh, my center.
Okay, well, I run the center.
Well, that's debatable.
Just tell these detectives to
talk to the protesters outside
and stop wasting my time.
Okay.
There's obviously
a glitch in the system.
My badge was with me all night
and I never left the house.
She didn't take the chimp.
I know that for a fact.
She does run things around here.
But please, find this animal
before he hurts somebody.
Chimpanzees, when they
attack, they usually go
for the groin or the face.
Believe me,
I can testify to that.
And if I may make a suggestion,
it would be to order
your men to shoot it on sight.
On sight?
On sight.
If you think of anything else,
Miss Mincheff,
give me a call.
Uh, Miranda, before you leave,
don't you have a son?
Yeah. I have a little boy
who's terminally ill
with only weeks to live.
You think he stole a 450-pound
vicious, rabid beast?
[SCOFFS]
[WATCH BEEPING]
What is that?
Oh, it's to remind
me to take my pills.
I have a disease, remember?
I take them sometimes,
but only 'cause I promised
my mom I would.
These pills kill the disease.
RILEY:
No, this is junk.
Well, what else am
I supposed to eat?
Like, if I were hungry now?
Which I am.
What's he doing?
[INSECTS BUZZING]
Just honey?
Albert, he's right,
honey is a perfect
antimicrobial,
meaning, it doesn't support
mold, fungus, or yeast.
And in your current state,
I'd say it's just what you need.
Hey.
It's pretty good honey.
Mm-hm.
Actually, it's great.
Could make a fort right here.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
Where were you? Do you know
how worried I've been?
Why didn't you call me?
Have you been in the sun?
Um... No.
Don't you lie to me.
Look at you, you're tan.
Simon says the sun is the source
of all life on the planet.
Simon sure has a lot to say.
Well, he's my new friend.
Yeah?
Well, when do I get to meet
this friend? Or his parents?
Um, you've met Simon and
he doesn't have any parents.
He doesn't have any parents?
They're in prison.
[SCOFFS] Why?
Um, the government put them
there for discovering space.
Albie, how do you
come up with this stuff?
I think I've got you
on too much medication.
Oh, and, uh, can my friend
borrow $2 and stay for dinner?
Are you Simon?
Mom, this is Eli, not Simon.
Hey, listen, kid,
just the cash, okay?
Dinner doesn't
smell too friendly.
Great, thanks.
Well, have a good night.
Thanks.
You know, Genesis 1:29.
And do unto the smallest
of his creatures as you would
do unto thy Lord almighty.
Is the thanks I get
for making you dinner?
Thank you, goodbye.
How could you have your pudding
if you don't eat your meat?
Bye.
Uh, okay, I admit it,
he's really weird,
but he's my friend
and he's also really smart.
[SIGHS] Albie, I don't want
you hanging out with adults.
All right.
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
Say grace, honey.
Simon says eat living foods.
What about an apple or salad?
We kill them to eat 'em.
That's what I thought. Then,
Simon showed me picking an apple
doesn't kill the tree.
And picking a leaf
doesn't kill the plant,
it actually helps them
by spreading its seeds,
giving us watery
food and oxygen.
Well, what do you
want to eat, Albert?
We need real food, Mom,
that comes from the earth
or a tree,
not a tin can or factory.
All right.
I'll talk to the doctor, okay?
In the jungle, heavy animal
cries always fill the air.
The babies were taken from
the jungle into the city.
And then something happened.
What? What happened?
What? What happened?
The humans took one
of the babies to a place
he could barely understand
or even comprehend.
Where?
Space.
The baby could actually
see the earth itself
from outside the window.
Many were sent, but he was
the only one to return.
He was called Enos, the one.
Simon's father.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
[SIGHS]
MAN [ON TV]: More on that story
later when we go live, direct from Cairo.
But first, it's time for our
"Here's to Your Health"
segment, with Ariel Michael
standing by at the Food
and Drug Administration
with some quite
astonishing news. Ariel.
ARIEL:
Yes, Bill, thank you.
I'm here at the Food and Drug
Administration
in Washington DC, where Swedish
and now American scientists
have discovered that
a cancer-causing chemical
known as acrylamide
is in practically
all processed foods.
BILL: So, what does the
public do to avoid the chemical?
ARIEL: Well, Bill, scientists
warn that while organic
does remove the toxic pesticides
out of the equation...
[TYPING]
[SIGHS]
[INHALES HEAVILY]
[SIGHS]
[CRYING]
I didn't know.
[SIGHS]
[CHIMPS SCREECHING]
[WATER BABBLING]
[CHIMP HOOTING]
You're late. Again.
Did you take your medication?
Simon says don't take drugs.
You really hate the
pills that much, huh?
[SIGHS]
Well, then, you don't
have to take 'em anymore.
Are you really serious?
I wouldn't joke about
something like this.
No pills anymore, ever?
If it'll make you happy.
Oh, yeah.
[SIGHS]
Mom, please don't
do any bad things.
What do you think
I do that's bad?
Just be nice, okay?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Afternoon, Miranda.
Hey, little Albert.
Uh, we need to administer
some drugs before we can start
his first round of radiation.
He's gonna be here for awhile,
so we can monitor him,
make sure there's
no kidney failure
or any other complications.
Doctor, can we take
a blood test first?
Miranda, tests are done.
Be strong.
Look at him. He feels better.
He's like a new person.
He started this Simon says stuff
and this crazy
healthy diet, and it...
Simon says?
Look, I realize where
you're comin' from.
We are allowing corporations
to feed our children
carcinogens for profit.
I feel personally
responsible for his sickness.
As a parent, but also as
a civilized human being.
He needs this treatment
to save his life.
How about a way
of saving his life
that doesn't involve
the possibility of killing him?
Miranda, your son is dying
of a disease. Sooner or later,
you're gonna have to accept
that fact as a reality.
Look, Mom, no hands or feet!
Nurse, run a full
analysis on Albert,
so this woman can see the truth.
Yes, doctor.
Whee!
[SIGHS]
I don't understand.
It's impossible that this
drastic of a remission
could take place.
Oh!
Oh. This is a miracle.
Oh, thank you.
Cancer that spreads
to every part of the body
can't be cured
in a couple of months
without medical treatment.
Baby. Ahem.
Can you wait for
me outside, okay?
I just want to
talk to the doctor.
Don't go anywhere.
An apple a day really
does keep the doctor away.
There's just one problem
with that, isn't there?
You can't sell it, can you?
You know, I looked up
the ingredients used
in the foods served in
schools and hospitals
and cancer wards.
According to the FDA,
they're 98 percent carcinogenic.
It's all just a sick facade.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Simon, Riley, where are ya?
Hey.
Hey.
[RILEY SIGHS]
You want some lunch?
Hi, Simon.
Um, all right.
Wow, the tomatoes dried fast.
Mm-hm.
[SIGHS]
Is something wrong?
We need to get back to the lab.
I'm sorry, we've already
asked so much of you,
but there is something else.
I would do anything
for you or Simon,
or any other chimpanzees.
You truly are brave and noble.
I've never met such a real man.
Thanks.
[LOCK BEEPS]
[CAGE RATTLES]
[CHIMP SCREECHING]
[ALARM BLARING]
Albert, no!
Mom, please don't hurt
Simon anymore, Mom.
Please, please!
What?!
He's my best friend.
Simon?
Simon.
I didn't know.
Oh, my God, I'm, I'm...
[SNIFFS]
Simon says the sun is
the source of all life
on the planet.
Yeah, well, when do I
get to meet this friend?
Or his parents?
Um, you've met Simon,
and he doesn't have any parents.
He doesn't have any parents?
They're in prison.
[SIGHS]
Oh, what have I done?
I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.
They just don't speak English,
Mom, but they are us.
All living creatures communicate
and feel and want to live.
[SIGHS]
Arrest these people.
These criminals,
these terrorists!
Miranda, what are you doing?
I cannot believe you.
Simon is a competent and
literate witness who's ready
to testify and press charges
against that monster.
I own this animal, detective.
Mr. Sinclair,
we're all animals.
And this one speaks
sign language
and is ready to press
charges against you now.
Yeah, detective,
please make a report.
Protect this victim
against further harm.
You know, the DA is building
a case against Dr. Sinclair.
Bribes to get your hands
on the astro-chimps?
Ties to poachers in Africa?
This lab will get shut down
and you will go to jail.
These accusations
are ridiculous.
These women stole classified
specimens from my lab.
One of 'em I employed
for the last 10 years
and paid a lot of money.
You're talking about money?
See, that proves it.
You're hiding something.
She stood there and stared
us right in the face and lied,
not to mention, she involved
a child in a crime.
That's a felony,
I believe, detective.
I'm well aware of
the law, Mr. Sinclair.
I am too and I know my rights,
and I want my property back.
My chimp.
They think and feel,
just like we do.
It's not testing, it's torture.
He saved my son's life.
He is an innocent,
defenseless animal
that needs your protection.
The chimp is his property.
It belongs to him.
No, he belongs to no one.
Simon, do you belong to him?
No, he has a right.
He has no rights.
It belongs to him.
Chain him up.
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
This is ridiculous.
Rome, it...
No, he... just wrote "free man."
I am not chainin' him up.
Well, I guess you
can wait in the car.
Oh, no, guess again.
Washington,
the chimp belongs to him.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You know what?
Link arms, come on.
What?
I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic
for which it stands,
one Nation under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and
justice for all.
That's our Pledge of Allegiance.
So whose law are we
enforcing right now?
Who are we really working for?
The chimp is mine, detective.
Now, get out, take
the people with you. Take 'em!
Okay, let's go, everybody.
It's over, come on.
But he's going to kill him!
You're the police, protect him!
It's your job.
I can only protect
you and your mother now.
Just get 'em outta here.
Get 'em out.
These people.
Let's get 'em out,
let's get 'em out.
No!
No!
No, Simon!
Simon!
[SHOUTS]
[TASER BUZZES]
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
Just get them outta here!
This is my lab, right?
[TASER BUZZES]
You want some of this?
Hm?
[CHUCKLES]
[CHIMP WHIMPERS]
MAN: Colonel.
Dad.
Take it easy, there.
[WASHINGTON MUMBLES]
Please, please,
he's gonna kill Simon.
You've gotta do something.
Colonel.
Please.
I never knew what
a true warrior was.
I thought I did.
I thought it was me.
No fear, no surrender.
So as your commanding officer,
I'm giving you an order.
Attack.
And, guys.
I'd watch it if I were you.
In her 25 years, my daughter
somehow always gets her way.
All right. Get out.
Everybody, vacate the premises.
This is getting ridiculous.
Get outta here.
Soldier.
Fight. Be the warrior, an
animal, attack.
I said vacate the premises.
A warrior knows
no fear, only glory,
giving every last drop of
blood for the good of man.
Sure, go ahead. Arrest a girl
who's trying to save an animal
who wants to live in a
world that wants to die.
Come on. Arrest her
for love and compassion.
Riley, through you,
the animals have their voice.
Not this animal, colonel.
Why this chimp from all
the others, Sinclair?
[PHONE RINGING]
Why? Because of what Simon
can do for chimpanzee rights
across the board.
Doesn't sound too good for
the chimp import business, huh?
I'll tell you why.
You wanna know why?
Look, I'm not the criminal here.
Dr. Sinclair, I just got
a call from headquarters.
There's an indictment
for your arrest.
What?
Put your hands behind your back!
All right.
[TASER CLATTERS]
You think you're clever?
Great.
You know what?
You just don't know...
Hey, take it easy!
Take it easy!
[DART WHISTLING]
[GUN CLATTERS]
No, stop! Stop!
Simon, get him.
[CHIMP SCREECHES]
[GRUNTS]
He wants to shake hands,
Sinclair.
It seems Simon's the
only one civilized enough
to not choose violence.
[SIGHS]
I don't know.
You feel?
You can communicate?
In fact, you wrote
"free man," "free man."
[SIGHS]
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
So sorry.
A chimp.
A chimp.
[SIGHS]
Cute little... monkeys.
[CHUCKLES]
Who knew?
Um, I'm a doctor.
A good doctor.
I want to help him with his arm.
I think it's out of socket.
Yeah...
Please.
It's out of socket,
let me just...
There you go.
Let me see this.
Okay, look.
Watch this, all right?
[ARM CRACKS]
There! There you go.
There, that's it.
That's it.
You're good.
Mom.
You okay, baby?
I feel great.
[LAUGHS]
Thank you.
[CHIMP SCREECHING SOFTLY]
[LAUGHS]
ADULT ALBERT:
So I gotta be honest.
I lied about something.
Simon didn't just save me.
He also saved my mother.
He saved Riley,
and he even saved Dr. Sinclair.
Dr. Sinclair still went to
trial and was sentenced,
but I heard he got out
early for good behavior.
And last I was told,
he went to Africa
and he was running
a family clinic.
My mom and Riley,
they're still friends.
And they opened a
veterinary practice in 2005,
and it's been going
pretty well ever since.
As for Simon, he's safe.
He went to live with
other chimpanzees
at a wildlife
conservation center,
and he's never been happier.
I haven't seen him
in a few years now.
But I'll never forget him.
And as for mankind,
there's still a long way to go.
But we'll get there.
[]
Raise your hands
Whisper my name
Close your eyes
And wave goodbye
Hold on to your cheek
Stand up on your feet
Touch your nose
Wiggle your toes
Sit down on the chair
Hands up in the air
Because Simon says
What's going on?
Because Simon says
Show me the way home
Because Simon says
You're not alone
Because Simon
Says come on out and play
Jump around
Roll on the ground
Open your eyes
Look at the sky
Touching at the clouds
Say my name out loud
Touch your hair
Jump in the air
Running on the beach
For the sunset I reach
Because Simon says
Hope it's not all gone
Because Simon says
You have to hold on
Because Simon says
I'm not alone
Because Simon says
It's a sunny day
Simon says Hold my hand
Show me around
Jump on the ground
Pose one on Simon says
Straighten your tie
Touch the sky
Pull that thigh
All the way up
Higher the sky
Because Simon says
I must be strong
Because Simon says
The fight will go on
Because Simon says
That here is gone
Because Simon says
It's a lovely day
Because Simon says
You've gotta carry on
Because Simon says
Summer is not gone
Because Simon says
I'm not alone
Because Simon says
Come on out and play
Come on out and play
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