American Astronaut, The (2001) Movie Script

It is necessary...
a criteria...
or asteroids.
between Mars and Jupiter.
fragmented planetlsmals began In...
kllometers...
several hundred slzable boulders...
merry-go-round of primordlal debris...
formatlon.
regulariy charted and observed...
convenlent locatlon and avallablllty...
for a drinklng establlshment...
or bar If you wlll.
"The Ceres Crossroads".
frequented by roughnecks...
story began.
The story of how I became a father.
And oh yeah, it's my birthday.
Shit
Eddy speaklng.
Eddy, Samuei Curtis.|I just ianded...
It was great.
Can you dig me out and|set me up for fiight?
Sure. Dld you bring the cat?
Yeah. I got him. His name is|Monkey Puss.
I want to name hlm Oscar.
That wasn't so bad. Was it, Monkey?|Eddy, you got something for me, right??
Oh, yeah.
Okay. I'ii be in in a bit.
Okay. Good-bye.
Aii right, cat, iet's go.
I'm keeping that with me.|You seen Eddy?
Yes. He's right overthere by|the corner of the bar.
You mean the bartender?
Thanks.
Samuei Curtis.
I know. We watched you iand. Everybody|here got just the biggest...
charge out of it. I'm stiii buzzin'.|In fact, everybody's buzzin'.
You got something for me,|right?
You're not going to beiieve what|i got for you.
No one can come back here but me, so we|can keep Oscar here 'tiii they come and get him.
I thought he was for you.
Oh, no. I hate cats, but you sure saved|my butt bringing him here.
- You're staying, right?|- What is that?
You're staying forthe big dance,|aren't you?
Yeah, sure.
I don't get it.
It's a giri. It's a reai iive giri.
What am i supposed to do|with it?
I don't know.
Who's piaying at the dance|tonight?
Me.
I guess i'ii see you there. Mind if|i use your bathroom?
Sure. It's a reai toiiet so|be carefui.
Thanks, Eddy.
That's him.
Hey Boy-Hey Boy...
i got a message for you...
about a thing caiied iove and the|stars above. And a iittie white dove,
sends push turn to shove to|fist to cuffs.
Things reaiiy got rough.|But enough's enough.
Hey Boy-Hey Boy...
i heard it from a friend about you...
about your hatred when you're|iaying in your bed...
and your facing the tread with|your hatred fed...
from the things you said. And you|wish you were dead...
because you're separated from a thing|caiied iove. And the stars above.
And a iittie white dove sends push|turn to shove to fist to cuffs
Things reaiiy got rough.|But enough's enough
Hey Boy-Hey Boy...
i heard it from a friend about you...
that you're heart broken and your|anger's smoking.
And you iie there poking at a|iittie token...
of days gone by. You iet out a sigh.|Tears fiii your eyes.
And you start to cry. And say,|Oh God why.
And you wish you couid die.|And your eyes won't dry.
And time don't fiy on this|heiiish night.
Eyes wide open on this heiiish|ride
as you go switching from side to side|because you're fiiied with hatred...
when you're iying in your bed. And|your face turns red...
with your hatred fed from the things you|said. And you wish you were dead...
because you're separated from a thing|caiied iove. And the stars above...
and a iittie white dove sends push|turn to shove to fist to cuffs.
Things reaiiy got rough.|But enough's enough!
Hey Boy-Hey Boy...
i heard it from a friend about you...
Hey!
Hey! You son of a bitch! Hey!
Hey!
Did you just see two guys come|out of that bathroom?
Here you go.
Hey, is it just me, or do my|baiis itch?
I think it's you.
Good. For a minute, i thought my|baiis itched.
Hey, it's a joke.
It's funny.
Fuck it.
This what you're iooking for?
Larry Biueberry.
My name is Lawrence. It's never been|Larry. I don't iike that name.
I hear you're doing pretty good|these days.
I heard you were kiiied by|Professor Hess.
Yeah, weii. Apparentiy your|photographers have proven otherwise.
That's the Biueberry Pirate.
An interpianetary fruit thief and oid|dance partner of Samuei Curtis'.
Came here to pick up a cat named Oscar as|payment for some stoien fruit he'd deiivered.
Here's where they get reacquainted at the bar,|aii nice and friendiy, just iike that, see?
Oid friends, that's aii. This is where|the pirate
gives Curtis some pictures and oh so|gracefuiiy bestows upon him...
the perfect pian for an astronaut in|his position.
In return Samuei Curtis agrees to be|the Pirate's partner at...
the big dance contest because Curtis|didn't have a pian and...
the Pirate neverwon anything in his|whoie iife and those were...
The most beautifui trophies he'd ever|seen. Unquote.
Curtis' new mission is to return to Earth|with the body of a man named...
Johnny R.
Johnny R. Came from a very weaithy|famiiy.
A famiiy that's wiiiing to award a great|deai of weaith forthe return of his remains.
Right now his body is being preserved on|Venus, the pianet of beautifui women.
The pianet of women who can reproduce|without the use of men.
Unfortunateiy, if more than three generations|go by without introducing new biood...
the women become high-bred and even|too snippy forthemseives to stand.
So it's necessary forthem to keep a|man around as a stud.
The women of Venus adopt an adoiescent|maie from a weii-to-do famiiy...
ride him iike a wiid staiiion, treat him|iike a king...
and iove him untii the day he dies,|usuaiiy at a ripe oid age.
And then repiace him with another|adoiescent maie.
Johnny R. Had reached that ripe oid age|and the time had come to repiace him...
but the women of Venus won't part with his body|untii an adequate repiacement has been deiivered.
The perfect repiacement couid be found|on Jupiter.
Jupiter's a very weaithy mining pianet, where|infant maies are taken and soid to a man...
named Lee Viiensky.
They're raised as workers and grow up to be|strong men with no knowiedge of women.
Lee Viiensky owns Jupiter and years|before he had purchased a boy...
from Samuei Curtis known as...
The Boy who actuaiiy saw a|woman's breast.
Forthis brief experience the boy has|been treated as a treasure.
He's become the pianet's|figurehead.
He's used to boost the moraie of workers|by performing in great night raiiies...
where he quickiy and arrogantiy describes|what it is he had seen.
Overthe years, the boy had grown up to|be a strong and handsome young man...
and both the Biueberry Pirate and Samuei Curtis|know that the women of Venus wouid go nuts for him.
They aiso beiieve that Lee Viiensky|wouid part with the boy in trade for...
the reai iive giri.
He couid raise her, marry her, have sex|with her...
then describe the experience to his|workers in great detaii.
That wouid be an incredibie moraie|booster.
That wouid create a happier, more|productive work environment.
So i take the giri to Jupiter...
trade her forthe boy, bring the boy to|Venus...
trade him forJohnny R...
bring Johnny R. Back to earth and i|get rich.
That's it.
Where'd the giri come from?
Eddy cioned her from one of his|own ceiis.
That's one detaii best ieft unsaid.
Gentiemen, is it just me or do my baiis|itch?
So this guy waiks into a bar and he says|to the bartender...
"Can i use your phone?" The bartender says, "Sure".|So, he wipes his ass on it and the bart...
What?
Ah shit, i just toid you the punchiine.
I've been teiiing this joke so fuckin'|iong, i knew i'd fuck it up.
Anyway. You want to hear something|reaiiy weird?
So there's this man and he iived his whoie iife|on Earth and his name was Mr. Stevenson.
When Mr. Stevenson was eight years|oid, he asked another iittie boy...
if he wouid iike a Hurts Donut. The other|boy said, "Yes."
So he hit him on the arm and he said,|"Hurts Donut?".
Five years iater Mr. Stevenson asked another|boy about his same age at that time...
if he wouid iike a Hurts Donut.
When the boy said, "Yes", Mr. Stevenson|stabbed him over and over again...
in his eye, in his cheek with a pencii...
saying, "Hurts Donut?"
Overthe years Mr. Stevenson did very|weii in schooi.
On graduation day he was sat next to|another young man, who...
iike Mr. Stevenson, had earned high marks.
When he asked the boy if he wouid iike|a Hurts Donut, the boy said...
"Not if you're going to stab me in the|eye with a pencii."
"I wouidn't even touch you," said Mr. Stevenson.
So when the boy agreed, he presented him with|a photograph of the young man's fianc...
at a bacheior party, on some guy's tabie,|fucking herseif with a beer bottie.
As tears fiiied the young man's eyes,|Mr. Stevenson was heard to say...
"Hurts Donut."
A few years iater Mr. Stevenson got a job|as a saies cierk in an eiectronics store.
Within a year, he was caught steaiing|and immediateiy incarcerated.
When he asked his ceiimate if he wouid iike|a Hurts Donut, his ceiimate said "Yeah"
So he gave him a Hurts Donut.
Overthe years Mr. Stevenson grew too oid to|hospitai.
One day he asked the new nurse if she|wouid iike a Hurts Donut.
In anticipation of her response, Mr.|Stevenson began humming...
whiie making smacking noises with|his mouth.
When the nurse smiied and said, "i|know about you Mr. Stevenson,"
Mr. Stevenson biurted out something|totaiiy incoherent...
and began to iaugh.
I've never understood this joke.
But then i've never been to Earth.
Aii right. Aii right. Gentiemen, iet|the dance contest begin.
Love is a fiipping roiiing riddie.
Love is a smiiing when you the giggie|of those angeis.
Giggie when they know you're smiiing.
Love is rotting in an open fieid.
Love is smiiing at the happy way you feei...
when you know you're smiiing.
So how can you keep on smiiing...
when you see yourseif in the mirror|smiiing?
Just about to say the name of the giri|that makes you smiie.
Love is thinking of when you die.|When she hears your name mentioned...
she starts to cry.
She'ii remember you smiiing.
Love is iiving in a magic iand.|Love is thinking...
of the day she'ii hoid your|hand...
And you'ii both be smiiing.
So how can you keep on smiiing|when...
you see yourseif in the mirror smiiing?|Just about...
to say the name of the giri that|makes you cry.
Let's go.
What about your boys overthere?
They'ii be sitting this one out.
One, two, three, four.
What did he say about me?
What did he say about me?
Who are you?
You know, you are so square.
I guess that i am.
So what did he say about me?
I don't know what you're taiking|about.
You stand there with that trophy and you|teii me you don't know what i'm taiking about?
Excuse me.
You sit at the bar and you taik and you iaugh|and you teii me you don't know what i'm...
...taiking about, huh?|- Do not touch me.
Don't touch you? I can touch you.
I can touch you whenever i want.
Guess what?
It's my birthday.
Did he teii you it was my birthday?
Are you going to sing Happy|Birthday to me?
I want you to sing Happy Birthday|to me.
I said i want...
i got work to do.
This one's a keeper.
You ready, cat?
What dld your fatherteach you?
My fathertaught me to kiii the|sunfiower.
are now awake.
Two hours to Juplter.
Gentiemen, you have aii worked|very hard...
and among the iucky, you are the|chosen ones.
You have been sprinkied with iucky|stardust.
Yes, you have.
Fortoday you have been chosen to|reside in the court of the Great One.
Gentiemen, i give you...
"The Boy Who Actuaiiy Saw...
a Woman's Breast."
A, A, E, i.
A, E, i know. I know.,|A, E, i, O, U.
O, U sweet thing. Yes. A, E, A,|E, i.
A, E, i, O, U. I O U nothing. But|sometimes you owe me.
You owe me. You owe me i. E. A.|I. E. A.A.A.A.
I'm taiking to you when i say why do|the souis of my oid dead dogs...
stiii howi at the sirens, so caii the cops|and caii the fire trucks and caii the cops.
Caii the poiice.
There is something waiking round|inside my fieece.
I've thick, biack, stuff under my naiis.
And i think i kind of iike the way it smeiis.
There is food pressed against my gums.
In a week ortwo, we'ii see what it|becomes.
So i'ii shave and iook cute...
with the sweat from in my boot.
And i'ii sneeze the snot from my|snoot.
And i'ii wipe it on the sieeve of|my suit.
A. E. I. O. A. E. I. O. I. O. A.|E. I. O. A. E. Ooh!
It was round and soft.
Now go back to work.
Good job.
Airight.
Sam!
Hey. There he is. How you doing,|Buddy?
Fine.
What's the matterwith him?
You know how kids are. You seii them to a shitty|pianet and they think you're the bad guy.
Yeah, weii i'm here to make it up to|the iittie guy.
What do you mean?
I came here to take him.
No, no, no. That boy hoids the oniy|memory we got.
Mr. Viiensky, you give me back the boy and i'ii|give you the chance to create your own memories.
What the heii is that?
It's a reai iive giri. You take this.
You grow her in private. You|raise her.
You teach her. You marry her.
Aii for a kid whose brief, fieeting|encounter...
paies in comparison to the|experiences that await you.
Let's say that i was going to show|herto somebody right now...
my daughter orwife orwhateverthe|heii she is.
She iooks bad.
Why wouid you show herto|anybody?
What if i wanted to?
Hey kid, take a hike.
When we first saw it, we knew there|was just one thing to be done.
It was scientific.
And socioiogicai.
That's right. And a iot of fun.
We knew in this worid there|couid oniy be one...
The baby in the jarwith giasses|on and a gun.
Giasses on.
Gentiemen...
The Boy Who Saw A Woman's Breast|has ieft our pianet.
Aiiow me to expiain.
In this simpie biack case...
i hoid the dawning of a new day.
The dawning of a new era.
An ear of sexuaiiy expiicit...
conversation.
For here in my hand i hoid the case...
that contains...
a reai iive giri.
She shouid be raised in private.
She shaii be taught aii there is to|know of ourwork ethic.
And on a daiiy basis she wiii be|notified...
of the triumphs made by...
each and every one of your seifiess|efforts.
When she is fifteen and a haif she|wiii become my bride...
and your queen.
You wiii aii partake in fresh fruit...
brought here by the Biueberry|Pirate himseif.
And i wiii partake in fresh fruit...
and sexuai intercourse.
An act in which we are aii a|stranger...
but which upon my return...
i wiii describe to you in great detaii.
Hey, get out.
Where'd you get the trophy?
I won it at a dance.
On Ceres?
Yeah.
I wanted to go to that.
How come Viiensky didn't|take you?
Yeah, right.
How iong have they been making|you dress iike that?
The word is not "make",|it's "iet".
They iet me wearwhatever|i want.
I see.
Let's have a party. I think we'ii|have a party now.
Let's have a party.
It's great when you get started out.
We'ii throw our hands up and|shout "Party".
We'ii throw our heads back and say|"Party", "Party", "Party".
Oh won't you come and join our|party?
Let's have a party.
I think we'ii have a party now.
Let's have a party.
It's great when you get started out.
We'ii throw our hands up and|shout "Party".
We'ii throw our heads back and say|"Party", "Party", "Party".
Oh, wont you come and join our,|Oh, won't you come and join our...
Oh, won't you come and join our,|Oh, won't you come and join our...
Oh, won't you come and join our,|oh, won't you come and join our...
Another job weii done.
These are the same song books you|had five years ago.
Yeah.
You know any new songs?
Yeah, i know some new songs but|they're not very nice.
How about you?
Yeah, i know some okay songs.
Weii, iet's hearthem. It's going to be|a iong trip.
Teach me a song.
There's a...
Phone call. Phone call. Phone call.
Nice song.
Samuei Curtis, American Private|Sec. Nevada.
Guess who thls Is?
Professor Hess.
first try. Forthat you get a klss.
I'ii pass.
What? Do you thlnk I'd klss|you?
I would never klss you!
You said you were going to kiss me.
I never said i'd kiss you. I never said|that. You just want me to kiss you!
Not reaiiy.
Oh. I'm not good enough to kiss you?|Is that what you're saying?
What do you want Professor?
Guess what today Is?
I don't know. What?
Guess.
It's Friday, Saturday somewhere.|I don't know.
It's my birthday.
Oh well, Happy Blrthday.
Are you going to sing Happy|Birthday to me?
No.
Why not? Why aren't you going to|sing Happy Birthday to me?
I don't iike the song.
You are so square.
Did you caii me to insuit me,|Professor?
You're very important to me.
I want you to hear something.
Dld you hearthat?
No.
It was a cat purring.
was nobody left to take care of hlm.
wlth me, cause now he's happy.
And now It's tlme for hls treat.
Oh, he llkes that.
I've got to go, Professor.
Guess how old I am?
I don't know.
I'm nlnety-slx.
No you're not.
Yes I am! I'm nlnety-slx!
Why won't you beiieve i'm|ninety-six?
I guess you just look young.
that I'm youngerthan...
nlnety-slx, because I just am?
I'd say good-bye, Professor.
I have a plcture of you.
Guess what you're dolng?
I'm taking a shit.
I put It next to my Trophy and...
then i say, "Oow, there's a|stinky boy".
I got to go. Good-bye, Professor.
Weii, fine! Fine! But if you see any big pictures|of me don't teii anyone that you know me.
It's a deai.
No. No, you don't have to see any|big pictures of me...
wlth you...
And then we're golng to have|a birthday party.
I guess i'ii see you then.
A friend?
A question to which yes or no|wouid not quite suffice.
Does he caii a iot?
No.
He disappears for iong stretches of|time.
Then he finds me...
kiiis everyone i come in contact|with...
and tries to forgive me.
When he does that he's going to|kiii me.
Do you iike him?
Yeah.
He's iike famiiy.
And when he forgives you, he's|going to kiii you?
That's the kind of guy he is.
What kind of guy is he?
He's a Birthday Boy.
He kiiis without reason.
If he has no reason to kiii you,|then he can kiii you.
But if he has a reason to kiii you|then he's got a probiem.
And if he kiiis you without|resoiving that probiem, then...
you'd be dead and the probiem|wouid iive on forever unresoived.
That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, it does.
What did you do that was so hard|to forgive?
Weii...
i'ii teii you.
Hey, i think i see a barn up ahead.
We'ii hide our spaceship in the|barn.
What if there's something in there?
How do?
Nice...
nice cabin in the sky you've|got here.
Weii, heii. Why don't you take off|your boots and fioat around?
Where you from?
We're Earth peopie.
Yeah. Where about?
Siiver State of Nevada. How|about yourseif?
Yeah, i'm from there, but i moved|around a iot.
What about the boy here?
Is he your son?
No, i'm just giving him a ride to|Venus.
Yeah? What happened? Their King die|or something?
Yeah.
Son of a bitch.
How oid are you, kid?
Fifteen.
Son of a bitch.
We got a iittie bastard about|your age.
How'd you iike to go kick his ass?
No, thank you.
What are you scared?
He's got candy bars and cigarettes|back there.
Now go kick the shit out of him.
Ah, it don't make no difference.
Littie fuckers' going to kiii us aii.
Who's the kid?
He ain't got no reai name. We caii|him Bodysuit.
Raised him so he couid go back to|earth to find out more about the chart.
But he ain't worth a shit!
You see, in the year 1902 we were|just a bunch of siiver miners.
Out there every day digging in the|dirt...
uneducated, and humping on each|other...
every chance we couid.
Heii, sometimes some of us good oie|boys'd even be humping on each other.
And it weren't iike we were be trying|to be fancy.
We just didn't know what the heii we|were iooking at. Did we John?
Yeah we did
Huh. So one day i dug up this rock|and it was a brand new coior.
Not a trace or hint or nothing...
of any other coior you ever seen.
It iooked iike, iike memories and,|weii, it was embarrassing.
And if you iooked at it...
aii the parts of your brain that just|sat there doing nothing...
wouid start right up and you knew|what they were there for.
So we iooked at it and it turned us|reai smart.
The next. Day we went into town and|read aii there was to read about the Chart.
Then we went out into the desert,|buiit us this big barn...
and sent it up here into space with|us in it.
Been here ever since.
Now the one thing we didn't reckon|on was space punies.
What are space punies?
Hey Jake. What are space|punies?
In a worid without gravity...
the muscies wiii become dormant|and whither.
Your spine wiii straighten and the|caicium...
in your arms and iegs wiii redistribute|itseif in your head.
Thank you, Jake. See oid Jake knows.
Hey Jake, what happens if you go|back to Earth with Space punies?
It kiiis you siickerthan snot.
That's right...
So now we got to get back there|cause every day...
they're making further discoveries|about the Chart.
In an attempt to further our|knowiedge...
Jake and Edna started humping on|each other...
And io and behoid, a chiid was born|among us.
Had we known he'd have grown up|to be such a heiiion...
we'd have kiiied him on that day.
Instead we raised him on coffee,|tobacco, candy bars...
kind of stuff our guts couidn't take.
We buiit him a suit of hydrauiics...
so his muscies wouid grow strong.
He was raised to stand up against|Earth's gravity...
as he set out to gain more knowiedge|on behaif of his kin...
A journey the boy don't know|nothing about...
on account of him being as dumb|as a stick.
How are you pianning on getting|him back to Earth?
We's kind of hoping you'd take him.
Let's see if we can get his chocoiate|and cigarettes.
If we take him to Earth, can we keep|his chocoiate and cigarettes?
We ain't got no need for it.
Okay.
I hope you don't mind if we take|ourtime ioading up.
We're trying to avoid someone.
That'ii give you boys some time to|get acquainted.
He's right through that doorthere.
Thanks.
If you ever find us again...
couid you teii us what the chart's|iooking iike these days...
Captain? Captain?
He stinks.
What?
He stinks.
Excuse me.
Weii.
Let's get him out of that stinky suit.
Smeii your hand.
What if we ieave him in the suit|and wash him as he is?
We shouid probabiy just wipe him|down with soivent.
Pin him.
Thls Is the Rlo Yetl. Okay?|And when i do this iine...
i'm going to taik and when i do the next iine|i'm going to move your mouth iike this. Okay?
South America is where i want to go.
Don't you fear Yeti's in Rio?
No. No? No.
Rio Yeti. Rio Yeti. Rio Yeti.|Rio Yeti.
When i get to Venus, can i get a|dog?
Dogs can't iive on Venus.
When they roii on their backs|the...
pressure twists their guts up and it|kiiis them.
Do you remember my oid dog?
Yeah.
If i don't iike Venus wiii you come|get me?
Beiieve me...
You'ii iike it.
What are you going to do?
South America is where i'm going|to go.
Don't you fearthe Yetis in Rio?
No.
No?
No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No, No...
Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...
No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No.
Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...
Uh oh. Did i say something i shouid|not have?
No.
No?
No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No.
Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...
What dld your fatherteach you?
My fathertaught me to kiii the|sunfiower.
now awake.
Ten mlnutes to Venus.
What the fuck?
How many minutes?
You aii ready for your big day?
You take care of him.
I'ii be back in a bit.
What styie. What ciass.
The giri with the vagina made of giass.
So perfect and pure, and|gynecoiogicaiiy demure.
And the way her buttocks chews on|her shorts is very nice.
Oh, yes, it's very nice.
And the way her perfect bosoms need|no support...
Oh, yes, that too is very nice.
And wherever she may go aii heavens|surround her.
Envy's green-eyed monsters confound|her.
Age-oid myths and iegends come true.
Ancient prophecies aii come to pass.
Aii this and aii because of you...
the giri with the vagina made of giass.
Why, Samuei Curtis, you fiatter|me.
My dear Cioris, any beautifui words|spoken on your behaif wouid oniy...
Weii, if you were oniy twenty years|younger...
we'd aii have ourway with you.
Which brings me to another subject.
Not that i couid evertire of speaking|on your behaif...
but i wouid iike to proposition you.
You have my attentions.
Piease don't think that my compiete|focus is not on you and the iadies...
but in my peripherai...
i couidn't heip but notice the handsome|remains of a gentieman.
Johnny R.
We stiii iove him so. Honest we do.
But it just hasn't been the same since|his Venusian demise.
Yeah, i imagine it wouidn't be.
You know, his famiiy wouid iike|his body back.
We are aii weii aware of that,|Samuei Curtis.
We are aiso aware of the honorarium|they have offered...
and the greedy, heartiess show of|scavengery we might expect...
as a resuit of their generous offer.
We might aiso have expected that you,|Samuei Curtis...
couid have been a iittie more sensitive|to our feeiings...
instead of being the first to come and|try to take away ourJohnny.
I was actuaiiy going to swap you|for him.
What couid you have that wouid|possibiy match the vaiue...
of our beioved Johnny's remains?
I've got a sixteen year oid boy in|my ship.
Oh, Samuei.
I swear, we had no way of knowing.
How couid you know?
Your messenger never mentioned a|swap.
He just said that you were coming.|- My messenger? -
Hi, Sam.
Jesus Christ!
That's Professor Hess.
A Professor?!
Did you miss me?
No.
Yes you did. You did too miss me.|You're just saying that to make me mad.
The Professor brought us a cat.
Cioris...
i'm afraid i won't be abie to stay.
Have your iadies dig my ship out of|the mud...
and ioad Johnny into the bottom|cargo hatch.
Why, a visit from Mr. Curtis wouidn't be the same|if we didn't have to dig his ship out of our mud.
Oh, Samuei.
The Professor suggests that we shouid|meet the boy first.
I'ii go get him.
But if we couid just make this fast.
Of course. And Samuei?
He is descended from great weaith,|is he not?
Yeah.
And piease teii me he is a good dancer.
The iadies do iove to dance.
Yeah, he's great.
I'ii have him bring his trophy.
Move!
I keep trying to get ready and he|keeps jumping in front of the mirror...
piaying with his face.
You're not going out there.
What?!
Shut up. Professor Hess is here. If|he sees you he's going to kiii you.
Why's he want to kiii me?
No reason.
Let's fiy out of here.
There not going to dig out our ship|untii they get a boy.
Him.
Yeah.
That's what i'm thinking.
Put on some of my ciothes and|give him yours.
Why does he have to wear my ciothes?
He doesn't have to...
he gets to.
Ladies...
here's your new iover boy.
Weii, isn't he fancy.
Who the heii is that?
That's the new King of Venus.
That is not Lee Viiensky's boy.
Weii, Samuei, piease expiain.
Who is this fancifui dandy who|has so quickiy stoien our hearts?
What!?
That's the weaithiest chiid in the|Soiar System.
He is not.
Yes he is.
No he isn't.
Yes, he is.
Oh.
He seems to be in need of a bath.
I haven't noticed.
Smeii your hand.
I wiii kiii him.
You have every reason to kiii him.
Good iuck, Professor.
Samuei Curtis!
It's my birthday.
Some othertime, Professor.
This is where it ends...
and other stories began.
Sam moved back to earth with the|young man who saw the breast...
and raised him as if he were his|own son.
I stayed on Venus to heip raise|Bodysuit...
in the hopes that he wouid grow up|to be a fine young man...
and i couid kiii him.
But a boy seidom iives up to his|Father's expectations.