Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) Movie Script
1
[festive song playing]
[song continues on car radio]
[sighs]
[radio presenter on radio]
We interrupt this program
to bring you
an important news bulletin.
The Center for Disease Control
has recategorized the pandemic
first thought to be a super
virus strain of the flu.
It has now been determined
to be a lethal pathogen
seemingly capable
of reanimating...
- [switch clicks]
- [music playing on radio]
Have you got
your ticket for tonight?
Dad, I told you,
I've got work.
You deserve a break, love.
I don't need a break.
You won't be saying that
next year
when it's wall-to-wall
lectures. [chuckles]
You heard back
from art school yet, John?
Uh, no, not yet,
Mr. Shepherd.
Is that normal?
- Dad!
- Sorry!
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Hey, why don't you bring Anna
to the Christmas show tonight?
I'm working!
So is he.
John, you tell him!
She can't, she's got to
pay off that ticket.
- [gasps]
- John!
What ticket?
You said, "Tell him!"
- I didn't say tell him that!
- What ticket?
- It's nothing.
- Anna!
I'll tell you about it later.
What ticket, Anna?
Just...
I'm going on a trip,
all right?
- When? Where?
- Dad.
Well, I hope you checked when
university starts, because...
I'm not going to uni!
- [tires screech]
- [liquid spills]
I'm gonna travel first.
Just for a year, or maybe...
Don't be so stupid!
[music continues on radio]
[school bell ringing]
[John] See you inside.
Thanks for the lift,
Mr. Shepherd.
You know this is
going to hold you back.
Where are you gonna go?
Australia first.
The ticket's open.
Oh, well, that's all right
if it's open, eh?
Think of all
the beautiful places
you could get
mugged or killed.
Stop trying to run my life.
I'm not
a little girl anymore.
Well, stop acting like one!
If your mother
could see you now...
I can't wait
to get away from you.
Anna.
- [sighs]
- [Steph on phone] My parents went to Mexico,
so I'm all alone.
I just thought
it would be nice
to spend Christmas
as a couple.
[soft music playing
on speakers]
That's fine. [stammers]
It's fine. Forget it.
[sighs]
[John] My holiday
gift donation.
[Steph] Wait!
Sorry!
Don't! I got it.
Do you need a hand
with these, Steph?
[Steph] No,
my car's right outside.
I guess we're all having
a good day.
You all right?
Never seen your dad
like that before.
You think I'm doing
the right thing, yeah?
Yeah, it's great.
Anyway...
P.E. is calling.
Yeah!
- [door closes]
- [sighs]
[Savage] More snowflakes!
That picture's not straight.
[snaps fingers] Drawing pin
missing, bottom left-hand corner.
Miss North!
Dropped the homeless story.
It's editorial.
You can't do that.
It's a school blog,
Miss North, not The Times.
Council sets our budgets,
so we play nice.
Hopefully, get some
new computers.
With all due respect,
Mr. Savage...
I'm gonna go to Mr. Gill.
- Be my guest!
- Cool!
[Savage] Headmaster Gill
is all but gone.
Come January,
this school is mine.
Oh. And as I told you before,
park your vehicle
on school property
and it becomes
school property.
[keychain squeaks]
Give!
[squeaks]
[shouting]
Withdraw your tongues!
[sighs]
[sighs deeply]
As I wake half-dead
In the same old bed
It's a dawn of another day
I feel chained and bound
To this hopeless town
And I know
I must break away
There's a world out there
Why does no one care?
Are they lost
In the games they play?
So much they don't see
But there's more to me
And I know
I must break away
Oh, I've been lying
I've been cheating
I've been fooling myself
Instead of fighting
I've been hiding away
- [all laughing]
- I've been running
Going nowhere
I put my heart on a shelf
And I don't want
To live that way
[all]
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
I've got to find my own way
Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye
We all have to break away
Chris, your showreel is meant
to tell us who you are.
How would you like
the world to be?
I don't know. Uh...
More robots?
Look, you're a really
talented boy.
But you need
something real to say.
And by tomorrow.
You're already late.
Oh, it's hard to hide
When the truth inside
Rises up like a tidal wave
There's been
Something wrong now
- For far too long
- [girl coughing]
And I know
I must break away
Am I lying? Am I cheating?
Am I fooling myself?
Why should they listen
To what I have to say?
Am I just another nobody
Like everyone else?
'Cause I don't want
To live that way
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
I've got to find
My own way
Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye
We all have to break away
I dream at night
Of my escape
How much longer
Must I wait?
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
Scared you might fly
I've got to find
My own way
How can I get you to stay?
Sooner or later
- It ends in goodbye
- Don't say goodbye
- We all have to break away
- We don't have to break away
Break away
[sighing]
[Lisa] Anna!
- [Anna] Hey, Lisa!
- Oh!
- [chuckles]
- What do you think?
It's like Narnia
threw up over Oz?
I know!
Hold still!
Four more cast members
called out sick.
So we're going to
have to change
the running order,
I'm afraid.
Please try to remember that a
hand sanitizer is your friend.
Kissing on the mouth
is not...
Your friend.
You two!
Why aren't you up on stage?
I'm not in the show.
Ah, Miss Shepherd.
Your father
is doing my lights.
When he has finished
cleaning the toilets,
would you send him
my way, please?
- That's not his job!
- Anna!
It will be soon.
Now where is my magician?
[boy] Here, sir!
[people gasp]
[all laughing]
I think it's about time we had a
little chat about health and safety.
Everybody up on stage, please.
Now!
- No, no, no!
- [fabric ripping]
[school bell ringing]
Get back on stage this minute!
Flightless chancers!
[girl wheezing loudly]
[inhaling]
[exhales]
- [grunts]
- [Anna gasps]
[sobbing]
[laughs]
You are such a child.
A sexy child.
Wait, no.
Goodbye, Nick!
Hey. Come on, come on.
Don't be like that!
Look.
If you wanna hook up
- over the holidays, then...
- [Tony clears throat]
Skip off.
[chuckles]
[door opens]
Savage is losing it.
He made Henry Lee cry
'cause he can't breakdance.
Henry Lee has a prosthetic.
And he only has one leg!
Hey, guys!
Yay! Boyfriend!
[both moaning]
[snickers]
[chuckles]
[indistinct talking]
[boys laughing]
Ignore him.
Ugh. He's such a prick!
I mean, yeah,
he's got a body you could
- lick chocolate off but you'd have to have...
- [Anna] Mmm-hmm.
...like, no self-respect
to even think...
I mean, um...
Not you, obviously!
[chuckles]
The others!
Not that there's been loads,
you know, it's probably
all just rumors anyway.
- [Anna groans]
- I mean, love me!
- [Anna laughs]
- Hey, guys!
Chris. Uh...
I need you to film something.
Yeah? Cool.
I'll film anything.
Savage keeps screwing
with the blog.
So, um, I wanna bypass
the school completely
and do a video.
[chuckles] Uh...
If we go to
the soup kitchen tonight,
I can have it in
before Christmas
and actually show people
we have a problem.
No! It's the Christmas
show tonight.
And I'm doing a special song
about Santa!
[Steph] Our teacher said
you need something real.
Um... This is real.
I promise I'll make it back
for your song
and Gran will be there.
She's really excited
to see you, Lis.
All right.
[Steph] Yeah!
Thank you! Thank you! Cool.
Yeah, um...
Let's see that asshole
try and stop this one!
Uh...
Bye.
- [Nick] Oi, Annie Lennox!
- [boys laugh]
Right. I'm going over there.
Power down your lasers,
Iron Man!
He doesn't have lasers!
They're repulsors.
Well, Nick doesn't need help
being any more repulsive.
Plus, you know it's not like
you could actually do anything.
Hey, did you guys hear what
happened in science? Oh, my God!
Gemma Brand called Miss Hutchie
a Nazi, then got all upset.
She was sent outside,
'cause she thought
Nazi meant the same as OCD.
[continues indistinctly]
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
[excited chattering]
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
What was I thinking?
This is nae Disney
I'm way off script
And losing the plot
Things don't Work out that
way I'm not McConaughey
Turning the charm on
Or calling the shots
If this was a movie
Maybe she would be
Willing to share my world
I'm starting to realize
Sometimes the nice guys
Don't always get the girl
[all] 'Cause no
one Ever tells you
When you're young
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
Man, sit down!
And we're tired
Of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
[indistinct talking
and laughter]
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Don't be mistaken
My heart's not breaking
Let them all talk
I don't give a shit
Kill, marry, shag
It's all such a drag
I'm more than a lost piece
Waiting to fit
I'm not a princess sat
In a white dress
Hoping my chance
Will come
They're not my problem
Don't want to solve them
Just want to have some fun
'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
And we're tired
Of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
I've got the one
I want right next to me
I hope to God
It works out perfectly
Oh, what if this was all
Just meant to be?
I want a love never-ending
Your love is standing here
It's not belief
I'm suspending
I'll never disappear
I'll get
My Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young
I want a love never-ending
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
It's not belief
I'm suspending
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
We're tired of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
This is not
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The story you've been
Dreaming of
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The one where you get
All you want
So stop your pretending
There's no such thing as a
There's no such thing as a
There's no such thing as a
Hollywood ending
[school bell ringing]
[students laughing]
- Oh.
- Fuck! Ow.
You need me to call someone?
I tried. My girlfriend
won't pick up.
And my parents
are in Mexico, so...
Wish I was in Mexico.
Sun, good food.
Tequila.
5,000 miles away
from your weird-ass daughter.
Oh, I'd happily move my dad a few
miles away from here right now.
Can you stop talking?
Try being moved
an entirely continent,
dropped at the first
opportunity.
At least you don't have
a mom that's constantly
on your case
about every little...
I am sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Oh! Sorry!
- [man grunts]
[growling]
[men cheering]
[men hooting]
[spraying]
You smell like a shoe.
[men cheering loudly]
Christmas is fast becoming
my least favorite "C" word.
You wouldn't be saying that
if you were dressed
like a festive legend!
You're right.
Dressed like that, you look
like a massive "C" word!
[men cheering]
[zombies groaning]
My favorite dish is fish
Mother flipper
And I eat it
For the hell of it
A nice bit of halibut
That's not the only fish
They got
- Mackerel
- Mackerel
I could take more
Than a snack-full
Salmon with some jam
And I could drink it
By the tap-full
Four weeks
of lunchtime rehearsals.
[clicking tongue]
At least they're trying.
They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby
Very.
But there's not enough fish
For me
Yo, fish is delish
They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby
But there's not enough fish
For me
[music stops]
[scattered applause]
Anyway, it's nice of you
to help them out
like this, Arthur.
We can't trust them
to do anything
by themselves, Tony.
Ah.
[inhaling deeply]
[music starts playing]
[gasps]
Hmm.
Snow is falling
On the frosty ground
Christmas cheer
Is spreading all around
It's that time of year
But I'm feeling so blue
There's a lack of presents
In my stocking
And my chimney needs
A good unblocking
Come on, Santa
- [laughing]
- Dear, I've been
Waiting for you
[Savage breathing heavily]
Let me tell you If you're
feeling Frozen stiff
My fire's
Burning hot for you
Filth!
Let me sit upon your lap
There's only one gift
That I wanna unwrap
And you and me
Pornographic,
salacious filth!
[breathing shakily]
I'm going to kill her!
I've warmed your milk
And made your favorite snack
So come on over
And unload your sack
Tie those reindeer up
'Cause you may be a while
And I know
How to make you smile
[man laughs]
[banging on door]
[singing
continues indistinctly]
- [banging continues]
- Oi!
[banging continues]
Whoever's doing that,
stop it immediately.
[banging continues]
I'm warning you.
[banging continues]
[Lisa]
It's that time of year
It's that time of year
It's that time of year
- Yeah
- Come on, Santa
Give it to me
- [music stops]
- [all cheering]
[cheering continues
in distance]
On, Dasher. On, Dancer.
- On...
- [groans]
I forget the other ones.
Firebolt?
No.
That's Harry Potter's broom!
Oh, no.
What?
We can't hang out anymore.
You're too sad.
You've hit, like, peak sad!
Look, they were a very popular
series of books, and...
Sorry, Mrs. Hinzmann.
[sighs]
[grunts]
[John] All right.
Watch this!
Oh. John, wait.
- [grunts]
- [thud]
[John] Oh, tits!
[Anna imitating John]
"I'll get you some ice!"
- [John] Shut up!
- [laughs]
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
[John sighs]
I've so lost my job!
[laughing]
- [John grunts]
- [both laughing]
[Anna] Oh!
When I was little,
me and Dad
used to have competitions,
see who could
make the best one.
Mum would judge.
We stopped doing it
after she died.
What if Dad's right
and I'm just
screwing everything up?
Look. [sighs]
You're gonna end up
going to uni,
getting some fancy job
and having
a stupidly-successful life.
It doesn't matter
how you do it.
Besides...
I'll come and visit you.
We can hike
across the Outback.
[laughs]
That's a pretty long hike.
[John chuckles] Well...
I'll start running to school.
Get fit.
Deal?
Deal.
- Dasher, Dancer...
- Mmm-hmm.
Bashful?
[John laughs]
[John] That's a dwarf.
There's Olive.
You know.
It's in the song.
Olive, the other reindeer
Used to laugh
And call him names
[both laughing]
Olive was a dick!
[both laughing]
[groans softly]
- [birds chirping]
- [sighs]
Shit wank!
- Mmm.
- [upbeat music playing]
New morning
Feels different
Than before
It's dawning
This thing
I've been waiting for
And I'm flying
[woman screaming]
My feet won't
Touch the ground
- [man screaming]
- I'm ready
For turning my life around
I'm waking
Spent too long
Playing dead
I'm shaking
These blues out of my head
- [people screaming]
- Not letting
- [car alarm blaring]
- Anybody bring me down
I'm ready
- [man screams]
- For turning My life around
Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
I am miles away
Hey
I am miles way
- [man screams] Stop it!
- I am miles way
And it's a beautiful day
[sirens blaring in distance]
It's brighter
The haven streets are clear
I feel lighter
There's nothing
Left to fear
And I'm closer
For a new world
I am bound
Oh, I'm ready
Oh!
For turning my life around
[Anna and John] Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
- [people screaming]
- I am miles away
Hey
Yeah
- I am miles away
- Get off of her!
I am miles away
Everybody's dying here
To tell me how to live
But I'm not listening I've
got so much more To give
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready
[grunts]
[birds cawing and squawking]
- [Anna] What a time to be alive
- Forget your troubles
- What a time to be alive
- [John] Let go your woes
- What a time to be alive
- Live for today
- What a time to be alive
- [John] 'Cause you might
Be dead come tomorrow
- What a time to be alive
- The town is glowing
- What a time to be alive
- [John] Hearts are alight
[music continues]
Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
I am miles away
Hey
Yeah
I am miles away
I am miles away
And it's a beautiful day
[snowman zombie groans]
Hello?
Can you hear me?
I'm a first aider.
I'm just going to
turn you over.
[growls]
[grunts]
[growling]
Okay, mate.
Mate! Mate!
Call him "mate" again.
It's definitely working!
- Stay here.
- You stay here!
[screaming]
There's no signal.
[John] Anna.
That guy's a zombie!
There's no such thing.
[scoffs] Right, because
that's perfectly normal!
[snarling]
[John] I can't believe
this is happening.
[breathing heavily]
This can't be happening.
This can't be happening.
Use your inhaler.
When was the last time
you saw me with an inhaler?
Don't have a go at me, just
because I said, "Use your inhaler."
Because there's zombies!
That's stupid!
I never saw my mum
this morning.
Did you see your dad?
I should have
just gone to the show.
I bet they're still
at the school.
[distant explosion]
- [car alarms blaring]
- Shit!
[continues growling]
Maybe the Internet's
still working.
But we can't go
all the way home.
Do you still have
your work keys?
[keys jingling]
Come on.
Maybe it won't be so bad
across town.
[people screaming]
[muffled] Potassium.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
Our parents will know
what to do.
[all clamoring]
[whistle blows]
[Savage] That's enough!
Now, even though we had
to spend the night
in the school, be assured,
the government
will sort all this out.
We have an army base,
literally on our doorstep.
All that is required of us
is that we remain calm
and patient.
If anyone has
any further questions,
I've set up temporary
office space over there,
adjacent to the fridge.
[sirens blaring in distance]
I'll get someone.
Doctors can't fix it, dear.
Don't think your teachers
could do much.
I'm just worried
about Christopher.
He's seen, like,
every horror movie.
He'll know what to do.
[banging on door]
Go.
[both yell]
See?
- Told you it was them!
- Have you been bitten?
- Show me!
- They're fine!
Hey, guys! [sighs]
[Anna] Did you guys break in?
Uh, the back door
was unlocked.
That's the cleaner's job!
Oh. Although, she might
have been concussed.
[Chris] So, uh...
We were out filming
the soup kitchen last night.
It was really good,
and then we...
[Steph] Then somebody screamed.
[Chris] Yeah.
Hey, zombies, right?
It's crazy!
I know!
Excuse Anna.
She's in Egypt at the moment.
Because she's so far
in denial!
[Chris laughs]
You're not funny.
[Chris] Oh!
- [Chris and John] Boom!
- You guys heard anything?
Further updates now on
the unfolding global crisis.
Reports of mass infection
with the
as-yet-unidentified virus
continue to come in
from across the world.
- Sources at the UN...
- Whatever.
Big firm has been doing weird
shit for years. It's a cover up.
...historic proportions.
Further information
and details
of the evacuation program
can be found on social media.
[Steph]
Yeah, once it's safe,
we're supposed to go
to the school.
So the school's okay?
Yeah. And the army's
going to escort us out.
How cool will that be?
- Shit!
- What?
Justin Bieber's a zombie!
[laughs]
Also, search "#EvacSelfie."
- Look.
- [Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris laughs]
[Steph] Well...
We all deserve to go extinct.
[all groaning]
Oh! Bollocks!
He's definitely a zombie.
Robert Downey Jr. has,
like, a bazillion dollars.
He is in a hot tub right now
surrounded by electric fences
and models!
Yeah, but,
it just takes
one personal trainer
with a bite and then...
- [yells]
- Uh-uh.
Iron Man lives!
What about Ryan Gosling?
Doesn't matter.
Alive? Dead?
The guy's still cool!
Yeah.
[both snap fingers]
Um... Taylor Swift?
Jesus, Chris!
Why would you even say that?
Tay Tay's fine!
Yeah, all right, I was just...
She's fine!
Do you think
Paris is still standing?
Yeah.
French don't take no shit!
[snaps fingers]
[faint growling]
[door creaking]
Mrs. Hinzmann?
[growling]
Um...
[grunts] No!
[screaming]
[Steph yelling]
[grunting]
[Anna panting]
[both screaming]
[music playing on speakers]
They're inside!
[zombies growling]
[grunts]
- John?
- What do I do?
What do I do?
[Chris] Destroy the brain
like in the movies!
[zombie groans]
[gagging]
[vomits]
[grunting]
[grunts]
Get behind the table!
[growling]
[grunting]
Go, on three!
Three! Two!
I said "after three!"
You said "on three!"
Think about your words!
[mimicking]
"Think about your words!"
- [roaring]
- [gasping]
Fuck off! [grunts]
[gasps and grunts]
Fuck off!
Fuck off!
[grunts]
Can you...
Can you understand me?
Okay.
[groaning]
Yeah! Boom!
[Steph vocalizing]
[Anna grunting]
[music stops]
[zombie growling]
- [zombie growling]
- [sighs]
[screams]
- [Chris grunts]
- [snarls]
[panting]
[wind howling]
[Lisa] Mr. Savage?
Is... Is there anything
we can give Bea?
Am I supposed to know
who that is?
It's just 'cause she's got
a bad heart, so...
Look around you, Miss Snow.
What do you see?
Um...
Tables?
I see civilization
on the edge.
And what does civilization do
when it finds itself
on the edge?
We help each other?
[chuckles]
We prioritize.
[distant explosions]
- [people screaming]
- [explosions continue]
[sobbing]
Staring at a screen
In a neon haze
Whoa
Lost in this machine
And I can't engage
We've become technology
Made of code and binary
What the hell
Is left of me?
Tell me that
It's not too late
How much longer
Must I wait?
I want to communicate
[all] I need
a human voice
Something that
I can hold on to
In all this static noise
I need someone
To break on through
I can feel the hook
Dancing on my skin
Whoa
Everywhere I look
Walls are closing in
I can't
Stand this atmosphere
I don't want to disappear
Help me make it
Out of here
How can we escape
The blur?
Get back to the way
We were
Breathe a little easier
- I need a human voice
- I need a human voice
Something that
I can hold on to
Something that
I can hold on to
- In all this static noise
- In all this static noise
I need someone
To break on through
To break on through
I lay my head
On my pillow
And pray
That some day
We'll talk in that
Old-fashioned way
There's so much to fear
In all this noise
Oh, all I want to hear
Is a human voice
Just a human voice
[Anna gasps]
[Chris] Shit!
- What's wrong?
- The snow's gone.
Fucking hell, Chris!
What about the army?
[Chris] See for yourself.
[zombies growling]
Everyone's dead.
People will still be waiting
at the school.
We just need to get there.
There's no evacuation coming.
So, we'll get your car
and leave town.
And go where?
Well, I don't know yet, but
we'll figure something out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.
You can do anything.
I'm getting my dad,
all right?
Yeah, and my gran and Lisa.
[scoffs] I want to find
my mum too...
But how are we even gonna
get past all the zombies?
I've just had
the best idea ever.
[Steph] This is the stupidest
idea ever.
We're all going to die.
[John] We should play a game.
Take your mind off it.
Helps me when I'm carsick.
'Cause this is
exactly the same!
- Steph.
- Yeah?
Um... Marry, shag, kill...
Zombie Miley, Zombie Rihanna,
Zombie Beyonce.
Kill them all,
they're zombies.
No, play it properly!
Marry Beyonce.
- Why are you killing Rihanna?
- That's not what I said.
- Well, obviously, you're shagging...
- [thud]
Is it a horde?
[Chris] One, two, three.
How many is a horde?
Just check!
[Chris] Shit.
I swear to God, if he says
it's snowing again...
Uh, better.
Killer old people!
What the fuck?
[zombies growling]
[camera clicks]
Yeah, an old woman's
sitting on your face.
Oh.
[liquid trickling]
Is she pissing?
You're fine.
It's plastic.
It's warm plastic!
[zombie growls]
[zombie grunting]
[gasps]
Shit!
[all scream]
[laughing] All right, losers.
If you were going out,
should've brought some muscle.
Hi, John!
Hi, Nick.
[Steph]
Thought your big army dad
would have pulled you a favor
and shipped you out?
Don't talk about
my fucking dad!
Show some fucking respect.
[Steph] Says the guy
who just murdered
a whole bunch
of grandparents.
Actually,
can you get that on camera?
It's a bit of human interest.
[boys whooping and laughing]
[John] Ah.
You've been looting.
Lovely!
[indistinct talking]
Where is your dad?
He went to the base.
Sorry.
[scoffs] Whatever.
[growling]
Shit! Get back under!
Hiding's for pussies,
John boy!
We are hunters.
All right, boys,
what do we have here?
- Are they, uh, excited?
- Yeah, mate. Use that.
[Anna] They're idiots.
So, yeah, probably.
Oh.
[Nick] Oh, yeah
Ladies, why don't you
get behind me?
Yeah, groovy. [laughs]
[vocalizing]
Mate, pass me that bat.
The streets are chaos
And the outlook is dire
Time for a hero
To step into the fire
The world's a jungle And
we're close To extinction
This is my moment
And I'll fight
With distinction
Rule one: stay focused
Keep your concentration
Rule two: have fun
And use your imagination
No time for weakness
When the undead
Are waiting
Tool up, get out there
- And start decapitating
- [boys yelling]
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[boys cheering]
[panting]
Life is a big game
When it's over
You're done for
I'm taking my aim
For the maximum high score
Only the toughest
Will survive in this arcade
So follow me
And you'll see just how
The game's played
- When it comes To killing zombies
-Come on, come on! [yelling]
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[snarling, growling]
I'll crush, I'll chop
I'll maim and I'll batter
Saving humanity
Is no laughing matter
I'll stab, I'll slash
I'll ground and I'll pound
When there's a job to do
I don't fuck around
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
[mouthing]
Fuck you.
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[boys]
I will fight for you
- I'm a soldier at war
- I will fight for you
I'm a soldier at war
I will fight for you
- I'm a soldier at war
- I will fight for you
Come on, lads.
We can't let the ladies go off
without some real men.
[grunts]
Hey, so where are we going?
Somewhere fun?
[growling]
[Savage] People...
People,
you have to listen to me.
We have to stay
in the school.
You have to trust me.
I've devised a 12-point plan.
Arthur. We're on our own.
It's time to go.
We have emergency guidelines
in place for a reason.
We have to hold out.
Enough!
If you love this place
so much,
you're welcome to stay.
But I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm headmaster!
Come with us, Arthur.
You can help.
Don't patronize me,
you fucking janitor!
After everything
I've done for you all,
this is how you treat me?
- [clattering]
- [gasps]
- [zombies growling]
- [doorknobs rattling]
This is my school.
Reckon they'll use our stuff
on the news?
It'll make my gran so happy.
[John] That's weird,
isn't it?
I mean, like...
You hear about riots and
revolutions in other countries,
but not here.
We could die!
[Anna] Hey!
Well, we could, though.
At least you won't be going
anywhere anymore,
so that's something.
What does that mean?
Well...
It's different now.
You can't just leave.
John, you're my best friend,
yeah?
You know that.
Of course.
John.
You're my best friend.
Swap.
Besides, nobody's dying.
I'm going traveling
and you're going
to art school.
[scoffs]
Yeah, because
abstract impressionists
are super important right now.
Oh. [exclaiming softly]
You really think
you can still
get away after all this?
Watch me.
Could go through here.
Quicker.
Plus, it'll be fun!
- Right, lads?
- [boys chuckle]
Yeah! Certain death
is so much fun!
Aw! Don't piss your pants!
- [boys laugh]
- Pretty dark.
Yeah, it'll be the same
out here soon.
Look. We go through here,
we might make it
to the school before sundown.
Come on.
You know we've got this.
- [distant thud]
- [car alarm wails distantly]
All right. Fun way it is.
Eh, can we vote?
[Nick] Yeah.
Here's your vote.
Live or die?
[boys laugh]
[Jake] After you!
In you go! Go!
- [grunts]
- [gasps]
[boys laughing]
[gnome]
Have a Christmassy Christmas!
[powering down]
[chuckles]
- Guess there's nobody gnome!
- [all laugh]
[all screaming]
[Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris] Steph!
[Steph] Fuck! Chris!
[whispering] John?
Fuck.
[both grunt]
[John] Guys!
Over there.
[indistinct screaming]
[Steph] Come on! Hurry!
Jake?
Tibbsy?
Oh, fuck, guys!
[John] Anna!
[Chris] John!
[John] Anna!
[Steph] Just get to the door!
[Anna] Where's John?
- [Nick] What are you doing?
- Where is he?
[Nick] Come on!
For God's sake, Anna!
- [John] What are you doing?
- Go, go, go!
[John] Come on! Quick, quick, quick!
[Anna] Come on!
- [screams]
- [Steph] Oh, no!
- My phone!
- [Steph] Chris!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Come on!
Move, move, move!
Come on, run!
[all growling]
That was so stupid!
I know.
I'm sorry about your friends.
Yeah, they should
have kept up.
[Steph] You should have
left it behind.
It's just plastic and glass.
And all my photos and videos.
- Lisa and Gran.
- [Nick grunts]
They're alive, Chris.
You don't believe that.
You think
your girlfriend's dead,
and your parents.
[Nick grunts]
[kicks table]
[grunts]
What if everyone is dead?
Then you'll think
of something.
You usually do.
It's actually
kind of annoying.
[Nick] We good to go?
Or does John need
to change his tampon?
I can really see why you
find him so irresistible!
Shut up.
[laughs]
Come on.
[John] Oh, by the way...
I remembered the names
of all Santa's reindeer.
- [Anna] Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You ready?
- Okay, ready.
So, there's Dasher, Dancer,
Comet, Vixen,
- Cupid...
- Cupid?
I know, right?
Prancer, Donner,
Blitzen and Rudolph!
[screaming]
[John sniffles]
Come on. Get up. Please.
Get up!
[zombies growling]
- John! John! John!
- [John grunting]
John!
[grunts] John! John!
- No, Anna, no! Leave him.
- John!
Leave him. He's gone.
- Leave him.
- [John screaming]
Leave him.
Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[sobbing]
No! Fuck! No!
[Steph] Hey!
Hey! Your dad's
waiting for you.
Yeah.
[Anna grunting]
Holy shit!
[Anna grunts]
[Nick] Hurry up!
[zombie snarling]
[cutlery clinking]
What?
What are you doing?
I am eating my Christmas
dinner, Miss North.
I expect you'll all be wanting
to see your parents.
You're very lucky children,
because they almost...
Left.
[Chris] Thank you.
[zombies growling
and grunting]
It's locked.
[shushing]
[Steph] What the fuck?
Do you know, Miss North,
for such a serious journalist,
your vocabulary does leave
an awful lot to be desired.
You're a teacher,
for God's sake.
Not so cocky now,
are we, Miss Shepherd?
I can't wait to show your
daddy what's left of you.
[Steph] Savage.
Please, please,
- please! Oh, God!
- [blows whistle]
- Go!
- Pudding!
[Steph] Go!
[Anna] Chris!
[Nick] Everyone, go, go!
Shut up, all you idiots
You little shits
Should listen to me
- [Nick] Get away!
- [Anna screams]
Did I fail to mention
Your attention's
Now obligatory?
All my life they told me
I would never succeed
Put me down, controlled me
Made me follow their lead
Bought the lies they sold me
For too long
But now I'm finally free
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
It took me time to blossom
I know
But I'm all fired up
And I'm ready to go
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
I knew that I would
Make it somehow
And nothing's
Stopping me now
Oh, no
All you little sleazes
Spread diseases
In your infested beds
Always speaking
Texting, tweeting
Every thought
That's in your vacuous heads
[all screaming]
It's been so hard
To bite my tongue
While you fucked around
You just can't see
The damage done
It's all falling down
But youth is wasted
On the young
And now my time
Is coming around
Oh, yeah
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
It took me time to blossom
I know
But I'm all fired up
And I'm ready to go
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
[Nick] Anna!
I knew that I would
Make it somehow
And nothing's stopping me
[zombies snarling]
I've been calling you all
zombies for years!
Now fuck off!
[grunting]
Where's my dad?
[Nick] Okay, come on!
[Steph] I'll go get
my car keys,
you go find your dad.
Meet outside.
[Anna] Savage!
I didn't mean it about
your parents, and stuff.
It's, uh... It's fine.
I know how I am, so...
[Chris] Well...
Whatever happens...
You've got us.
Listen.
[muffled song
playing on speakers]
It's Lisa's song.
[door closes]
[door creaking]
Chris?
Baby!
Savage, he opened the doors,
and we had to run, and there
was just so many of them.
But, Bea, her heart...
But we got her up here,
but her heart was...
I'm so sorry.
At least she's not
one of them.
[kisses]
Bye, Gran.
Shit!
Hey, don't worry.
We'll find your dad, okay?
Dream team!
We're a lot of things, Nick,
but we've never been a team.
Hey... [sighs]
It wasn't me, you know.
That night
you stayed at mine.
I didn't say nothing
to no one.
Wait.
You think that's why
I'm angry with you?
Yeah, obviously.
Nick, I don't care
about the sex.
I'm angry with you
because we shared
all that stuff
about our future,
and you acted like
it meant something,
and then you just dumped me!
I trusted you.
Oh.
That's it?
You are such a prick.
Hey, look. Just 'cause your
little fuck buddy died,
don't go taking it out
all on me.
Don't you dare
talk about John!
What have you ever done that
wasn't just about yourself?
Killed my dad.
[exhales]
He got bit.
So he gave me the bat
[sniffles]
and he said,
"Don't you let me down, son.
For once."
So I...
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
[sobbing]
Fuck. [sniffles]
Right, enough of this
pansy bollocks.
- [zombies growling]
- Shit!
Right, I'll hold them back.
No, we stick together.
Hey, hey! Zombies, over here!
This way, this way!
Look at me! Zombies, this way!
That's it!
This way! There you go!
You ugly bunch of bastards.
Here! Nice juicy arm?
Come on!
[laughs] Don't just
stand there like a dick! Go!
For fuck's sake, Nick!
Just go and get
your dad, yeah?
Come on!
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
Where are the keys?
[Steph] He's always
taking shit off me
and putting it
in his office.
You two, stay here.
- No.
- No, it's fine.
I've got this.
[lock clicking]
[door creaking]
[exhales]
[breathing shakily]
[zombie grunting]
No, wait, wait, wait.
Look.
[growling]
[breath trembling]
[whimpers]
[sighs]
Okay.
[grunts]
- [exclaims in disgust]
- [zombie grunts]
Oh, no.
Fuck this place.
[soft rattling]
[squeaks]
[closes zip]
[soft rattling]
[TV playing indistinctly]
[whispers] What are you doing?
Go.
Crawl out.
[John on TV] Take a picture,
take a picture.
[Steph on TV] Okay.
[laughter on TV]
There you go. Smile!
[John] Cheese!
[laughter on TV]
- [TV beeping]
- [zombies grunting]
[zombies growling]
- Look out, Chris! Chris!
- [Chris screaming]
- Chris, go, go!
- Lisa. Lisa!
- Get off him!
- Get back!
[grunting]
[Lisa] Stop! Get off!
- [Chris] No, no!
- [screams]
[Chris screams] Get off her!
[screaming]
[Lisa] Stop!
[TV playing indistinctly]
- Okay?
- [chuckles softly]
What do you think?
[laughs]
I love it.
[zombies growling]
Anna! Run!
How on earth
are you still alive?
[zombie growls]
Showing off, I see.
Quite the leading lady,
aren't we?
Well...
The stage is all yours.
Why don't you
give us all a show?
It's been said
"The world's a stage
And everyone
Must play their part"
Well, if that's true,
I'll act
With all my heart
I'll take my cue
To go stand
'neath the spotlight's glow
And give them
One hell of a
Show
There are some things
In life
That you just
Can't control
But I'm ready to fight
I was born for this role
I'll do all I can
Before I go to my grave
There is good
on this earth
And it's worth
trying to save
Well, Miss Shepherd
You're so wrong
You don't have a clue
A purge on this species
Is long overdue
All humanity's broken
Our story is done
As the set catches fire
Might as well have some fun
[Anna and Savage]
So raise the curtain
Hit the lights
Strike up the band
For the final night
And if it is my time to go
I'll give them
One hell of a show
- You're a silly, weak girl
- You're a mad man
I guess The truth can be
hard To hear sometimes
You've been losing your mind
And it's sad, man
No, I finally see
Where I once was blind
And I have never felt
So much bliss
Oh, how can you
Take pleasure in this?
Raise the curtain
Hit the lights
Strike up the band
For the final night
And if it is my time to go
I won't waste a moment,
I know
I'll give them
One hell of a show
One hell of a show
[Savage laughs]
Dad.
[Tony laughing] Oh.
Group hug.
- [Tony grunts]
- [groans]
[groaning]
Dad. Just leave it.
He's not worth it.
[laughing]
You roly-poly,
pig-faced pleb!
[Tony grunts]
[both grunting]
Dad!
No, please.
[whimpering]
Dad!
[laughs]
[grunting]
[whimpering]
[laughing]
No!
- No, no!
- [flesh tearing]
[Savage screaming]
[continues screaming]
[screaming stops]
Come on! We've got a car.
Dad?
No.
No!
[sobbing]
[cane clatters]
[sobbing] No.
They've got to be
working on a cure.
It happens too quickly.
I can't come with you.
- I don't know what to do.
- Yes, you do.
- You do. Just like always.
- [sobbing]
God! If your mum
could see you now.
[banging on door]
[footsteps approaching]
I'm not crazy about
your boyfriend, though.
He's not my boyfriend.
Well, there's some good news.
You need to go.
I don't want to.
Please. For once in your life,
don't argue with me.
- Do you want me to help?
- [Nick] No.
Don't.
He's right.
I am so proud of you.
- [sobbing]
- Now go.
Bugger off!
Anna.
Anna, come on,
we have to go.
- [sniffles]
- Come on.
Merry Christmas, Anna.
Merry Christmas, Dad.
[zombies growling]
When I look back
Over my yesterdays
I was so sure
Certain I'd find my way
But now the world
Oh, is such
A different place
All of my dreams
Are gone without a trace
Where is the light
That used to shine?
Oh, where is the life
That once was mine?
But while there's hope
Oh, while I still breathe
I will believe
[Anna and Nick]
All of a sudden
The blood in my veins
Runs cold
Thinking about all the days
That I just let go
If I had reckoned The
seconds would slip From me
I'd have paid
Twice of the price
For the memory
For the memory
[Anna] Where is the light
That used to shine?
Oh, where is the life
That once was mine?
But while there's hope
While I still breathe
I will believe
But while there's hope
While I still breathe
I will believe
[zombies growling]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
[breathing deeply]
[horn blaring]
Boom! Saved your life!
[engine revs]
[festive music playing]
[students]
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Where to next?
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
This is not
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The story
You've been dreaming of
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The one where
You get all you want
So stop your pretending
There's no such thing as a
Hollywood ending
[roaring]
[festive song playing]
[song continues on car radio]
[sighs]
[radio presenter on radio]
We interrupt this program
to bring you
an important news bulletin.
The Center for Disease Control
has recategorized the pandemic
first thought to be a super
virus strain of the flu.
It has now been determined
to be a lethal pathogen
seemingly capable
of reanimating...
- [switch clicks]
- [music playing on radio]
Have you got
your ticket for tonight?
Dad, I told you,
I've got work.
You deserve a break, love.
I don't need a break.
You won't be saying that
next year
when it's wall-to-wall
lectures. [chuckles]
You heard back
from art school yet, John?
Uh, no, not yet,
Mr. Shepherd.
Is that normal?
- Dad!
- Sorry!
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Hey, why don't you bring Anna
to the Christmas show tonight?
I'm working!
So is he.
John, you tell him!
She can't, she's got to
pay off that ticket.
- [gasps]
- John!
What ticket?
You said, "Tell him!"
- I didn't say tell him that!
- What ticket?
- It's nothing.
- Anna!
I'll tell you about it later.
What ticket, Anna?
Just...
I'm going on a trip,
all right?
- When? Where?
- Dad.
Well, I hope you checked when
university starts, because...
I'm not going to uni!
- [tires screech]
- [liquid spills]
I'm gonna travel first.
Just for a year, or maybe...
Don't be so stupid!
[music continues on radio]
[school bell ringing]
[John] See you inside.
Thanks for the lift,
Mr. Shepherd.
You know this is
going to hold you back.
Where are you gonna go?
Australia first.
The ticket's open.
Oh, well, that's all right
if it's open, eh?
Think of all
the beautiful places
you could get
mugged or killed.
Stop trying to run my life.
I'm not
a little girl anymore.
Well, stop acting like one!
If your mother
could see you now...
I can't wait
to get away from you.
Anna.
- [sighs]
- [Steph on phone] My parents went to Mexico,
so I'm all alone.
I just thought
it would be nice
to spend Christmas
as a couple.
[soft music playing
on speakers]
That's fine. [stammers]
It's fine. Forget it.
[sighs]
[John] My holiday
gift donation.
[Steph] Wait!
Sorry!
Don't! I got it.
Do you need a hand
with these, Steph?
[Steph] No,
my car's right outside.
I guess we're all having
a good day.
You all right?
Never seen your dad
like that before.
You think I'm doing
the right thing, yeah?
Yeah, it's great.
Anyway...
P.E. is calling.
Yeah!
- [door closes]
- [sighs]
[Savage] More snowflakes!
That picture's not straight.
[snaps fingers] Drawing pin
missing, bottom left-hand corner.
Miss North!
Dropped the homeless story.
It's editorial.
You can't do that.
It's a school blog,
Miss North, not The Times.
Council sets our budgets,
so we play nice.
Hopefully, get some
new computers.
With all due respect,
Mr. Savage...
I'm gonna go to Mr. Gill.
- Be my guest!
- Cool!
[Savage] Headmaster Gill
is all but gone.
Come January,
this school is mine.
Oh. And as I told you before,
park your vehicle
on school property
and it becomes
school property.
[keychain squeaks]
Give!
[squeaks]
[shouting]
Withdraw your tongues!
[sighs]
[sighs deeply]
As I wake half-dead
In the same old bed
It's a dawn of another day
I feel chained and bound
To this hopeless town
And I know
I must break away
There's a world out there
Why does no one care?
Are they lost
In the games they play?
So much they don't see
But there's more to me
And I know
I must break away
Oh, I've been lying
I've been cheating
I've been fooling myself
Instead of fighting
I've been hiding away
- [all laughing]
- I've been running
Going nowhere
I put my heart on a shelf
And I don't want
To live that way
[all]
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
I've got to find my own way
Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye
We all have to break away
Chris, your showreel is meant
to tell us who you are.
How would you like
the world to be?
I don't know. Uh...
More robots?
Look, you're a really
talented boy.
But you need
something real to say.
And by tomorrow.
You're already late.
Oh, it's hard to hide
When the truth inside
Rises up like a tidal wave
There's been
Something wrong now
- For far too long
- [girl coughing]
And I know
I must break away
Am I lying? Am I cheating?
Am I fooling myself?
Why should they listen
To what I have to say?
Am I just another nobody
Like everyone else?
'Cause I don't want
To live that way
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
I've got to find
My own way
Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye
We all have to break away
I dream at night
Of my escape
How much longer
Must I wait?
Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly
Scared you might fly
I've got to find
My own way
How can I get you to stay?
Sooner or later
- It ends in goodbye
- Don't say goodbye
- We all have to break away
- We don't have to break away
Break away
[sighing]
[Lisa] Anna!
- [Anna] Hey, Lisa!
- Oh!
- [chuckles]
- What do you think?
It's like Narnia
threw up over Oz?
I know!
Hold still!
Four more cast members
called out sick.
So we're going to
have to change
the running order,
I'm afraid.
Please try to remember that a
hand sanitizer is your friend.
Kissing on the mouth
is not...
Your friend.
You two!
Why aren't you up on stage?
I'm not in the show.
Ah, Miss Shepherd.
Your father
is doing my lights.
When he has finished
cleaning the toilets,
would you send him
my way, please?
- That's not his job!
- Anna!
It will be soon.
Now where is my magician?
[boy] Here, sir!
[people gasp]
[all laughing]
I think it's about time we had a
little chat about health and safety.
Everybody up on stage, please.
Now!
- No, no, no!
- [fabric ripping]
[school bell ringing]
Get back on stage this minute!
Flightless chancers!
[girl wheezing loudly]
[inhaling]
[exhales]
- [grunts]
- [Anna gasps]
[sobbing]
[laughs]
You are such a child.
A sexy child.
Wait, no.
Goodbye, Nick!
Hey. Come on, come on.
Don't be like that!
Look.
If you wanna hook up
- over the holidays, then...
- [Tony clears throat]
Skip off.
[chuckles]
[door opens]
Savage is losing it.
He made Henry Lee cry
'cause he can't breakdance.
Henry Lee has a prosthetic.
And he only has one leg!
Hey, guys!
Yay! Boyfriend!
[both moaning]
[snickers]
[chuckles]
[indistinct talking]
[boys laughing]
Ignore him.
Ugh. He's such a prick!
I mean, yeah,
he's got a body you could
- lick chocolate off but you'd have to have...
- [Anna] Mmm-hmm.
...like, no self-respect
to even think...
I mean, um...
Not you, obviously!
[chuckles]
The others!
Not that there's been loads,
you know, it's probably
all just rumors anyway.
- [Anna groans]
- I mean, love me!
- [Anna laughs]
- Hey, guys!
Chris. Uh...
I need you to film something.
Yeah? Cool.
I'll film anything.
Savage keeps screwing
with the blog.
So, um, I wanna bypass
the school completely
and do a video.
[chuckles] Uh...
If we go to
the soup kitchen tonight,
I can have it in
before Christmas
and actually show people
we have a problem.
No! It's the Christmas
show tonight.
And I'm doing a special song
about Santa!
[Steph] Our teacher said
you need something real.
Um... This is real.
I promise I'll make it back
for your song
and Gran will be there.
She's really excited
to see you, Lis.
All right.
[Steph] Yeah!
Thank you! Thank you! Cool.
Yeah, um...
Let's see that asshole
try and stop this one!
Uh...
Bye.
- [Nick] Oi, Annie Lennox!
- [boys laugh]
Right. I'm going over there.
Power down your lasers,
Iron Man!
He doesn't have lasers!
They're repulsors.
Well, Nick doesn't need help
being any more repulsive.
Plus, you know it's not like
you could actually do anything.
Hey, did you guys hear what
happened in science? Oh, my God!
Gemma Brand called Miss Hutchie
a Nazi, then got all upset.
She was sent outside,
'cause she thought
Nazi meant the same as OCD.
[continues indistinctly]
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
[excited chattering]
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
as a Hollywood ending
What was I thinking?
This is nae Disney
I'm way off script
And losing the plot
Things don't Work out that
way I'm not McConaughey
Turning the charm on
Or calling the shots
If this was a movie
Maybe she would be
Willing to share my world
I'm starting to realize
Sometimes the nice guys
Don't always get the girl
[all] 'Cause no
one Ever tells you
When you're young
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
Man, sit down!
And we're tired
Of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
[indistinct talking
and laughter]
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Don't be mistaken
My heart's not breaking
Let them all talk
I don't give a shit
Kill, marry, shag
It's all such a drag
I'm more than a lost piece
Waiting to fit
I'm not a princess sat
In a white dress
Hoping my chance
Will come
They're not my problem
Don't want to solve them
Just want to have some fun
'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
And we're tired
Of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
I've got the one
I want right next to me
I hope to God
It works out perfectly
Oh, what if this was all
Just meant to be?
I want a love never-ending
Your love is standing here
It's not belief
I'm suspending
I'll never disappear
I'll get
My Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young
I want a love never-ending
Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs
It's not belief
I'm suspending
We've been living in a lie
For far too long
We're tired of pretending
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
This is not
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The story you've been
Dreaming of
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The one where you get
All you want
So stop your pretending
There's no such thing as a
There's no such thing as a
There's no such thing as a
Hollywood ending
[school bell ringing]
[students laughing]
- Oh.
- Fuck! Ow.
You need me to call someone?
I tried. My girlfriend
won't pick up.
And my parents
are in Mexico, so...
Wish I was in Mexico.
Sun, good food.
Tequila.
5,000 miles away
from your weird-ass daughter.
Oh, I'd happily move my dad a few
miles away from here right now.
Can you stop talking?
Try being moved
an entirely continent,
dropped at the first
opportunity.
At least you don't have
a mom that's constantly
on your case
about every little...
I am sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Oh! Sorry!
- [man grunts]
[growling]
[men cheering]
[men hooting]
[spraying]
You smell like a shoe.
[men cheering loudly]
Christmas is fast becoming
my least favorite "C" word.
You wouldn't be saying that
if you were dressed
like a festive legend!
You're right.
Dressed like that, you look
like a massive "C" word!
[men cheering]
[zombies groaning]
My favorite dish is fish
Mother flipper
And I eat it
For the hell of it
A nice bit of halibut
That's not the only fish
They got
- Mackerel
- Mackerel
I could take more
Than a snack-full
Salmon with some jam
And I could drink it
By the tap-full
Four weeks
of lunchtime rehearsals.
[clicking tongue]
At least they're trying.
They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby
Very.
But there's not enough fish
For me
Yo, fish is delish
They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby
But there's not enough fish
For me
[music stops]
[scattered applause]
Anyway, it's nice of you
to help them out
like this, Arthur.
We can't trust them
to do anything
by themselves, Tony.
Ah.
[inhaling deeply]
[music starts playing]
[gasps]
Hmm.
Snow is falling
On the frosty ground
Christmas cheer
Is spreading all around
It's that time of year
But I'm feeling so blue
There's a lack of presents
In my stocking
And my chimney needs
A good unblocking
Come on, Santa
- [laughing]
- Dear, I've been
Waiting for you
[Savage breathing heavily]
Let me tell you If you're
feeling Frozen stiff
My fire's
Burning hot for you
Filth!
Let me sit upon your lap
There's only one gift
That I wanna unwrap
And you and me
Pornographic,
salacious filth!
[breathing shakily]
I'm going to kill her!
I've warmed your milk
And made your favorite snack
So come on over
And unload your sack
Tie those reindeer up
'Cause you may be a while
And I know
How to make you smile
[man laughs]
[banging on door]
[singing
continues indistinctly]
- [banging continues]
- Oi!
[banging continues]
Whoever's doing that,
stop it immediately.
[banging continues]
I'm warning you.
[banging continues]
[Lisa]
It's that time of year
It's that time of year
It's that time of year
- Yeah
- Come on, Santa
Give it to me
- [music stops]
- [all cheering]
[cheering continues
in distance]
On, Dasher. On, Dancer.
- On...
- [groans]
I forget the other ones.
Firebolt?
No.
That's Harry Potter's broom!
Oh, no.
What?
We can't hang out anymore.
You're too sad.
You've hit, like, peak sad!
Look, they were a very popular
series of books, and...
Sorry, Mrs. Hinzmann.
[sighs]
[grunts]
[John] All right.
Watch this!
Oh. John, wait.
- [grunts]
- [thud]
[John] Oh, tits!
[Anna imitating John]
"I'll get you some ice!"
- [John] Shut up!
- [laughs]
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
[John sighs]
I've so lost my job!
[laughing]
- [John grunts]
- [both laughing]
[Anna] Oh!
When I was little,
me and Dad
used to have competitions,
see who could
make the best one.
Mum would judge.
We stopped doing it
after she died.
What if Dad's right
and I'm just
screwing everything up?
Look. [sighs]
You're gonna end up
going to uni,
getting some fancy job
and having
a stupidly-successful life.
It doesn't matter
how you do it.
Besides...
I'll come and visit you.
We can hike
across the Outback.
[laughs]
That's a pretty long hike.
[John chuckles] Well...
I'll start running to school.
Get fit.
Deal?
Deal.
- Dasher, Dancer...
- Mmm-hmm.
Bashful?
[John laughs]
[John] That's a dwarf.
There's Olive.
You know.
It's in the song.
Olive, the other reindeer
Used to laugh
And call him names
[both laughing]
Olive was a dick!
[both laughing]
[groans softly]
- [birds chirping]
- [sighs]
Shit wank!
- Mmm.
- [upbeat music playing]
New morning
Feels different
Than before
It's dawning
This thing
I've been waiting for
And I'm flying
[woman screaming]
My feet won't
Touch the ground
- [man screaming]
- I'm ready
For turning my life around
I'm waking
Spent too long
Playing dead
I'm shaking
These blues out of my head
- [people screaming]
- Not letting
- [car alarm blaring]
- Anybody bring me down
I'm ready
- [man screams]
- For turning My life around
Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
I am miles away
Hey
I am miles way
- [man screams] Stop it!
- I am miles way
And it's a beautiful day
[sirens blaring in distance]
It's brighter
The haven streets are clear
I feel lighter
There's nothing
Left to fear
And I'm closer
For a new world
I am bound
Oh, I'm ready
Oh!
For turning my life around
[Anna and John] Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
- [people screaming]
- I am miles away
Hey
Yeah
- I am miles away
- Get off of her!
I am miles away
Everybody's dying here
To tell me how to live
But I'm not listening I've
got so much more To give
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready, ready, ready
I'm ready
[grunts]
[birds cawing and squawking]
- [Anna] What a time to be alive
- Forget your troubles
- What a time to be alive
- [John] Let go your woes
- What a time to be alive
- Live for today
- What a time to be alive
- [John] 'Cause you might
Be dead come tomorrow
- What a time to be alive
- The town is glowing
- What a time to be alive
- [John] Hearts are alight
[music continues]
Hey
It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away
I am miles away
Hey
Yeah
I am miles away
I am miles away
And it's a beautiful day
[snowman zombie groans]
Hello?
Can you hear me?
I'm a first aider.
I'm just going to
turn you over.
[growls]
[grunts]
[growling]
Okay, mate.
Mate! Mate!
Call him "mate" again.
It's definitely working!
- Stay here.
- You stay here!
[screaming]
There's no signal.
[John] Anna.
That guy's a zombie!
There's no such thing.
[scoffs] Right, because
that's perfectly normal!
[snarling]
[John] I can't believe
this is happening.
[breathing heavily]
This can't be happening.
This can't be happening.
Use your inhaler.
When was the last time
you saw me with an inhaler?
Don't have a go at me, just
because I said, "Use your inhaler."
Because there's zombies!
That's stupid!
I never saw my mum
this morning.
Did you see your dad?
I should have
just gone to the show.
I bet they're still
at the school.
[distant explosion]
- [car alarms blaring]
- Shit!
[continues growling]
Maybe the Internet's
still working.
But we can't go
all the way home.
Do you still have
your work keys?
[keys jingling]
Come on.
Maybe it won't be so bad
across town.
[people screaming]
[muffled] Potassium.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
Our parents will know
what to do.
[all clamoring]
[whistle blows]
[Savage] That's enough!
Now, even though we had
to spend the night
in the school, be assured,
the government
will sort all this out.
We have an army base,
literally on our doorstep.
All that is required of us
is that we remain calm
and patient.
If anyone has
any further questions,
I've set up temporary
office space over there,
adjacent to the fridge.
[sirens blaring in distance]
I'll get someone.
Doctors can't fix it, dear.
Don't think your teachers
could do much.
I'm just worried
about Christopher.
He's seen, like,
every horror movie.
He'll know what to do.
[banging on door]
Go.
[both yell]
See?
- Told you it was them!
- Have you been bitten?
- Show me!
- They're fine!
Hey, guys! [sighs]
[Anna] Did you guys break in?
Uh, the back door
was unlocked.
That's the cleaner's job!
Oh. Although, she might
have been concussed.
[Chris] So, uh...
We were out filming
the soup kitchen last night.
It was really good,
and then we...
[Steph] Then somebody screamed.
[Chris] Yeah.
Hey, zombies, right?
It's crazy!
I know!
Excuse Anna.
She's in Egypt at the moment.
Because she's so far
in denial!
[Chris laughs]
You're not funny.
[Chris] Oh!
- [Chris and John] Boom!
- You guys heard anything?
Further updates now on
the unfolding global crisis.
Reports of mass infection
with the
as-yet-unidentified virus
continue to come in
from across the world.
- Sources at the UN...
- Whatever.
Big firm has been doing weird
shit for years. It's a cover up.
...historic proportions.
Further information
and details
of the evacuation program
can be found on social media.
[Steph]
Yeah, once it's safe,
we're supposed to go
to the school.
So the school's okay?
Yeah. And the army's
going to escort us out.
How cool will that be?
- Shit!
- What?
Justin Bieber's a zombie!
[laughs]
Also, search "#EvacSelfie."
- Look.
- [Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris laughs]
[Steph] Well...
We all deserve to go extinct.
[all groaning]
Oh! Bollocks!
He's definitely a zombie.
Robert Downey Jr. has,
like, a bazillion dollars.
He is in a hot tub right now
surrounded by electric fences
and models!
Yeah, but,
it just takes
one personal trainer
with a bite and then...
- [yells]
- Uh-uh.
Iron Man lives!
What about Ryan Gosling?
Doesn't matter.
Alive? Dead?
The guy's still cool!
Yeah.
[both snap fingers]
Um... Taylor Swift?
Jesus, Chris!
Why would you even say that?
Tay Tay's fine!
Yeah, all right, I was just...
She's fine!
Do you think
Paris is still standing?
Yeah.
French don't take no shit!
[snaps fingers]
[faint growling]
[door creaking]
Mrs. Hinzmann?
[growling]
Um...
[grunts] No!
[screaming]
[Steph yelling]
[grunting]
[Anna panting]
[both screaming]
[music playing on speakers]
They're inside!
[zombies growling]
[grunts]
- John?
- What do I do?
What do I do?
[Chris] Destroy the brain
like in the movies!
[zombie groans]
[gagging]
[vomits]
[grunting]
[grunts]
Get behind the table!
[growling]
[grunting]
Go, on three!
Three! Two!
I said "after three!"
You said "on three!"
Think about your words!
[mimicking]
"Think about your words!"
- [roaring]
- [gasping]
Fuck off! [grunts]
[gasps and grunts]
Fuck off!
Fuck off!
[grunts]
Can you...
Can you understand me?
Okay.
[groaning]
Yeah! Boom!
[Steph vocalizing]
[Anna grunting]
[music stops]
[zombie growling]
- [zombie growling]
- [sighs]
[screams]
- [Chris grunts]
- [snarls]
[panting]
[wind howling]
[Lisa] Mr. Savage?
Is... Is there anything
we can give Bea?
Am I supposed to know
who that is?
It's just 'cause she's got
a bad heart, so...
Look around you, Miss Snow.
What do you see?
Um...
Tables?
I see civilization
on the edge.
And what does civilization do
when it finds itself
on the edge?
We help each other?
[chuckles]
We prioritize.
[distant explosions]
- [people screaming]
- [explosions continue]
[sobbing]
Staring at a screen
In a neon haze
Whoa
Lost in this machine
And I can't engage
We've become technology
Made of code and binary
What the hell
Is left of me?
Tell me that
It's not too late
How much longer
Must I wait?
I want to communicate
[all] I need
a human voice
Something that
I can hold on to
In all this static noise
I need someone
To break on through
I can feel the hook
Dancing on my skin
Whoa
Everywhere I look
Walls are closing in
I can't
Stand this atmosphere
I don't want to disappear
Help me make it
Out of here
How can we escape
The blur?
Get back to the way
We were
Breathe a little easier
- I need a human voice
- I need a human voice
Something that
I can hold on to
Something that
I can hold on to
- In all this static noise
- In all this static noise
I need someone
To break on through
To break on through
I lay my head
On my pillow
And pray
That some day
We'll talk in that
Old-fashioned way
There's so much to fear
In all this noise
Oh, all I want to hear
Is a human voice
Just a human voice
[Anna gasps]
[Chris] Shit!
- What's wrong?
- The snow's gone.
Fucking hell, Chris!
What about the army?
[Chris] See for yourself.
[zombies growling]
Everyone's dead.
People will still be waiting
at the school.
We just need to get there.
There's no evacuation coming.
So, we'll get your car
and leave town.
And go where?
Well, I don't know yet, but
we'll figure something out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.
You can do anything.
I'm getting my dad,
all right?
Yeah, and my gran and Lisa.
[scoffs] I want to find
my mum too...
But how are we even gonna
get past all the zombies?
I've just had
the best idea ever.
[Steph] This is the stupidest
idea ever.
We're all going to die.
[John] We should play a game.
Take your mind off it.
Helps me when I'm carsick.
'Cause this is
exactly the same!
- Steph.
- Yeah?
Um... Marry, shag, kill...
Zombie Miley, Zombie Rihanna,
Zombie Beyonce.
Kill them all,
they're zombies.
No, play it properly!
Marry Beyonce.
- Why are you killing Rihanna?
- That's not what I said.
- Well, obviously, you're shagging...
- [thud]
Is it a horde?
[Chris] One, two, three.
How many is a horde?
Just check!
[Chris] Shit.
I swear to God, if he says
it's snowing again...
Uh, better.
Killer old people!
What the fuck?
[zombies growling]
[camera clicks]
Yeah, an old woman's
sitting on your face.
Oh.
[liquid trickling]
Is she pissing?
You're fine.
It's plastic.
It's warm plastic!
[zombie growls]
[zombie grunting]
[gasps]
Shit!
[all scream]
[laughing] All right, losers.
If you were going out,
should've brought some muscle.
Hi, John!
Hi, Nick.
[Steph]
Thought your big army dad
would have pulled you a favor
and shipped you out?
Don't talk about
my fucking dad!
Show some fucking respect.
[Steph] Says the guy
who just murdered
a whole bunch
of grandparents.
Actually,
can you get that on camera?
It's a bit of human interest.
[boys whooping and laughing]
[John] Ah.
You've been looting.
Lovely!
[indistinct talking]
Where is your dad?
He went to the base.
Sorry.
[scoffs] Whatever.
[growling]
Shit! Get back under!
Hiding's for pussies,
John boy!
We are hunters.
All right, boys,
what do we have here?
- Are they, uh, excited?
- Yeah, mate. Use that.
[Anna] They're idiots.
So, yeah, probably.
Oh.
[Nick] Oh, yeah
Ladies, why don't you
get behind me?
Yeah, groovy. [laughs]
[vocalizing]
Mate, pass me that bat.
The streets are chaos
And the outlook is dire
Time for a hero
To step into the fire
The world's a jungle And
we're close To extinction
This is my moment
And I'll fight
With distinction
Rule one: stay focused
Keep your concentration
Rule two: have fun
And use your imagination
No time for weakness
When the undead
Are waiting
Tool up, get out there
- And start decapitating
- [boys yelling]
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[boys cheering]
[panting]
Life is a big game
When it's over
You're done for
I'm taking my aim
For the maximum high score
Only the toughest
Will survive in this arcade
So follow me
And you'll see just how
The game's played
- When it comes To killing zombies
-Come on, come on! [yelling]
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[snarling, growling]
I'll crush, I'll chop
I'll maim and I'll batter
Saving humanity
Is no laughing matter
I'll stab, I'll slash
I'll ground and I'll pound
When there's a job to do
I don't fuck around
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
While you've been hiding
I've been kicking some ass
[mouthing]
Fuck you.
I know the best
Form of defense is attack
I know what
I'm fighting for
I'm a soldier at war
[boys]
I will fight for you
- I'm a soldier at war
- I will fight for you
I'm a soldier at war
I will fight for you
- I'm a soldier at war
- I will fight for you
Come on, lads.
We can't let the ladies go off
without some real men.
[grunts]
Hey, so where are we going?
Somewhere fun?
[growling]
[Savage] People...
People,
you have to listen to me.
We have to stay
in the school.
You have to trust me.
I've devised a 12-point plan.
Arthur. We're on our own.
It's time to go.
We have emergency guidelines
in place for a reason.
We have to hold out.
Enough!
If you love this place
so much,
you're welcome to stay.
But I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm headmaster!
Come with us, Arthur.
You can help.
Don't patronize me,
you fucking janitor!
After everything
I've done for you all,
this is how you treat me?
- [clattering]
- [gasps]
- [zombies growling]
- [doorknobs rattling]
This is my school.
Reckon they'll use our stuff
on the news?
It'll make my gran so happy.
[John] That's weird,
isn't it?
I mean, like...
You hear about riots and
revolutions in other countries,
but not here.
We could die!
[Anna] Hey!
Well, we could, though.
At least you won't be going
anywhere anymore,
so that's something.
What does that mean?
Well...
It's different now.
You can't just leave.
John, you're my best friend,
yeah?
You know that.
Of course.
John.
You're my best friend.
Swap.
Besides, nobody's dying.
I'm going traveling
and you're going
to art school.
[scoffs]
Yeah, because
abstract impressionists
are super important right now.
Oh. [exclaiming softly]
You really think
you can still
get away after all this?
Watch me.
Could go through here.
Quicker.
Plus, it'll be fun!
- Right, lads?
- [boys chuckle]
Yeah! Certain death
is so much fun!
Aw! Don't piss your pants!
- [boys laugh]
- Pretty dark.
Yeah, it'll be the same
out here soon.
Look. We go through here,
we might make it
to the school before sundown.
Come on.
You know we've got this.
- [distant thud]
- [car alarm wails distantly]
All right. Fun way it is.
Eh, can we vote?
[Nick] Yeah.
Here's your vote.
Live or die?
[boys laugh]
[Jake] After you!
In you go! Go!
- [grunts]
- [gasps]
[boys laughing]
[gnome]
Have a Christmassy Christmas!
[powering down]
[chuckles]
- Guess there's nobody gnome!
- [all laugh]
[all screaming]
[Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris] Steph!
[Steph] Fuck! Chris!
[whispering] John?
Fuck.
[both grunt]
[John] Guys!
Over there.
[indistinct screaming]
[Steph] Come on! Hurry!
Jake?
Tibbsy?
Oh, fuck, guys!
[John] Anna!
[Chris] John!
[John] Anna!
[Steph] Just get to the door!
[Anna] Where's John?
- [Nick] What are you doing?
- Where is he?
[Nick] Come on!
For God's sake, Anna!
- [John] What are you doing?
- Go, go, go!
[John] Come on! Quick, quick, quick!
[Anna] Come on!
- [screams]
- [Steph] Oh, no!
- My phone!
- [Steph] Chris!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Come on!
Move, move, move!
Come on, run!
[all growling]
That was so stupid!
I know.
I'm sorry about your friends.
Yeah, they should
have kept up.
[Steph] You should have
left it behind.
It's just plastic and glass.
And all my photos and videos.
- Lisa and Gran.
- [Nick grunts]
They're alive, Chris.
You don't believe that.
You think
your girlfriend's dead,
and your parents.
[Nick grunts]
[kicks table]
[grunts]
What if everyone is dead?
Then you'll think
of something.
You usually do.
It's actually
kind of annoying.
[Nick] We good to go?
Or does John need
to change his tampon?
I can really see why you
find him so irresistible!
Shut up.
[laughs]
Come on.
[John] Oh, by the way...
I remembered the names
of all Santa's reindeer.
- [Anna] Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You ready?
- Okay, ready.
So, there's Dasher, Dancer,
Comet, Vixen,
- Cupid...
- Cupid?
I know, right?
Prancer, Donner,
Blitzen and Rudolph!
[screaming]
[John sniffles]
Come on. Get up. Please.
Get up!
[zombies growling]
- John! John! John!
- [John grunting]
John!
[grunts] John! John!
- No, Anna, no! Leave him.
- John!
Leave him. He's gone.
- Leave him.
- [John screaming]
Leave him.
Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[sobbing]
No! Fuck! No!
[Steph] Hey!
Hey! Your dad's
waiting for you.
Yeah.
[Anna grunting]
Holy shit!
[Anna grunts]
[Nick] Hurry up!
[zombie snarling]
[cutlery clinking]
What?
What are you doing?
I am eating my Christmas
dinner, Miss North.
I expect you'll all be wanting
to see your parents.
You're very lucky children,
because they almost...
Left.
[Chris] Thank you.
[zombies growling
and grunting]
It's locked.
[shushing]
[Steph] What the fuck?
Do you know, Miss North,
for such a serious journalist,
your vocabulary does leave
an awful lot to be desired.
You're a teacher,
for God's sake.
Not so cocky now,
are we, Miss Shepherd?
I can't wait to show your
daddy what's left of you.
[Steph] Savage.
Please, please,
- please! Oh, God!
- [blows whistle]
- Go!
- Pudding!
[Steph] Go!
[Anna] Chris!
[Nick] Everyone, go, go!
Shut up, all you idiots
You little shits
Should listen to me
- [Nick] Get away!
- [Anna screams]
Did I fail to mention
Your attention's
Now obligatory?
All my life they told me
I would never succeed
Put me down, controlled me
Made me follow their lead
Bought the lies they sold me
For too long
But now I'm finally free
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
It took me time to blossom
I know
But I'm all fired up
And I'm ready to go
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
I knew that I would
Make it somehow
And nothing's
Stopping me now
Oh, no
All you little sleazes
Spread diseases
In your infested beds
Always speaking
Texting, tweeting
Every thought
That's in your vacuous heads
[all screaming]
It's been so hard
To bite my tongue
While you fucked around
You just can't see
The damage done
It's all falling down
But youth is wasted
On the young
And now my time
Is coming around
Oh, yeah
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
It took me time to blossom
I know
But I'm all fired up
And I'm ready to go
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
Nothing's gonna
Stop me now
[Nick] Anna!
I knew that I would
Make it somehow
And nothing's stopping me
[zombies snarling]
I've been calling you all
zombies for years!
Now fuck off!
[grunting]
Where's my dad?
[Nick] Okay, come on!
[Steph] I'll go get
my car keys,
you go find your dad.
Meet outside.
[Anna] Savage!
I didn't mean it about
your parents, and stuff.
It's, uh... It's fine.
I know how I am, so...
[Chris] Well...
Whatever happens...
You've got us.
Listen.
[muffled song
playing on speakers]
It's Lisa's song.
[door closes]
[door creaking]
Chris?
Baby!
Savage, he opened the doors,
and we had to run, and there
was just so many of them.
But, Bea, her heart...
But we got her up here,
but her heart was...
I'm so sorry.
At least she's not
one of them.
[kisses]
Bye, Gran.
Shit!
Hey, don't worry.
We'll find your dad, okay?
Dream team!
We're a lot of things, Nick,
but we've never been a team.
Hey... [sighs]
It wasn't me, you know.
That night
you stayed at mine.
I didn't say nothing
to no one.
Wait.
You think that's why
I'm angry with you?
Yeah, obviously.
Nick, I don't care
about the sex.
I'm angry with you
because we shared
all that stuff
about our future,
and you acted like
it meant something,
and then you just dumped me!
I trusted you.
Oh.
That's it?
You are such a prick.
Hey, look. Just 'cause your
little fuck buddy died,
don't go taking it out
all on me.
Don't you dare
talk about John!
What have you ever done that
wasn't just about yourself?
Killed my dad.
[exhales]
He got bit.
So he gave me the bat
[sniffles]
and he said,
"Don't you let me down, son.
For once."
So I...
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
[sobbing]
Fuck. [sniffles]
Right, enough of this
pansy bollocks.
- [zombies growling]
- Shit!
Right, I'll hold them back.
No, we stick together.
Hey, hey! Zombies, over here!
This way, this way!
Look at me! Zombies, this way!
That's it!
This way! There you go!
You ugly bunch of bastards.
Here! Nice juicy arm?
Come on!
[laughs] Don't just
stand there like a dick! Go!
For fuck's sake, Nick!
Just go and get
your dad, yeah?
Come on!
When it comes
To killing zombies
I'm the top of my class
Where are the keys?
[Steph] He's always
taking shit off me
and putting it
in his office.
You two, stay here.
- No.
- No, it's fine.
I've got this.
[lock clicking]
[door creaking]
[exhales]
[breathing shakily]
[zombie grunting]
No, wait, wait, wait.
Look.
[growling]
[breath trembling]
[whimpers]
[sighs]
Okay.
[grunts]
- [exclaims in disgust]
- [zombie grunts]
Oh, no.
Fuck this place.
[soft rattling]
[squeaks]
[closes zip]
[soft rattling]
[TV playing indistinctly]
[whispers] What are you doing?
Go.
Crawl out.
[John on TV] Take a picture,
take a picture.
[Steph on TV] Okay.
[laughter on TV]
There you go. Smile!
[John] Cheese!
[laughter on TV]
- [TV beeping]
- [zombies grunting]
[zombies growling]
- Look out, Chris! Chris!
- [Chris screaming]
- Chris, go, go!
- Lisa. Lisa!
- Get off him!
- Get back!
[grunting]
[Lisa] Stop! Get off!
- [Chris] No, no!
- [screams]
[Chris screams] Get off her!
[screaming]
[Lisa] Stop!
[TV playing indistinctly]
- Okay?
- [chuckles softly]
What do you think?
[laughs]
I love it.
[zombies growling]
Anna! Run!
How on earth
are you still alive?
[zombie growls]
Showing off, I see.
Quite the leading lady,
aren't we?
Well...
The stage is all yours.
Why don't you
give us all a show?
It's been said
"The world's a stage
And everyone
Must play their part"
Well, if that's true,
I'll act
With all my heart
I'll take my cue
To go stand
'neath the spotlight's glow
And give them
One hell of a
Show
There are some things
In life
That you just
Can't control
But I'm ready to fight
I was born for this role
I'll do all I can
Before I go to my grave
There is good
on this earth
And it's worth
trying to save
Well, Miss Shepherd
You're so wrong
You don't have a clue
A purge on this species
Is long overdue
All humanity's broken
Our story is done
As the set catches fire
Might as well have some fun
[Anna and Savage]
So raise the curtain
Hit the lights
Strike up the band
For the final night
And if it is my time to go
I'll give them
One hell of a show
- You're a silly, weak girl
- You're a mad man
I guess The truth can be
hard To hear sometimes
You've been losing your mind
And it's sad, man
No, I finally see
Where I once was blind
And I have never felt
So much bliss
Oh, how can you
Take pleasure in this?
Raise the curtain
Hit the lights
Strike up the band
For the final night
And if it is my time to go
I won't waste a moment,
I know
I'll give them
One hell of a show
One hell of a show
[Savage laughs]
Dad.
[Tony laughing] Oh.
Group hug.
- [Tony grunts]
- [groans]
[groaning]
Dad. Just leave it.
He's not worth it.
[laughing]
You roly-poly,
pig-faced pleb!
[Tony grunts]
[both grunting]
Dad!
No, please.
[whimpering]
Dad!
[laughs]
[grunting]
[whimpering]
[laughing]
No!
- No, no!
- [flesh tearing]
[Savage screaming]
[continues screaming]
[screaming stops]
Come on! We've got a car.
Dad?
No.
No!
[sobbing]
[cane clatters]
[sobbing] No.
They've got to be
working on a cure.
It happens too quickly.
I can't come with you.
- I don't know what to do.
- Yes, you do.
- You do. Just like always.
- [sobbing]
God! If your mum
could see you now.
[banging on door]
[footsteps approaching]
I'm not crazy about
your boyfriend, though.
He's not my boyfriend.
Well, there's some good news.
You need to go.
I don't want to.
Please. For once in your life,
don't argue with me.
- Do you want me to help?
- [Nick] No.
Don't.
He's right.
I am so proud of you.
- [sobbing]
- Now go.
Bugger off!
Anna.
Anna, come on,
we have to go.
- [sniffles]
- Come on.
Merry Christmas, Anna.
Merry Christmas, Dad.
[zombies growling]
When I look back
Over my yesterdays
I was so sure
Certain I'd find my way
But now the world
Oh, is such
A different place
All of my dreams
Are gone without a trace
Where is the light
That used to shine?
Oh, where is the life
That once was mine?
But while there's hope
Oh, while I still breathe
I will believe
[Anna and Nick]
All of a sudden
The blood in my veins
Runs cold
Thinking about all the days
That I just let go
If I had reckoned The
seconds would slip From me
I'd have paid
Twice of the price
For the memory
For the memory
[Anna] Where is the light
That used to shine?
Oh, where is the life
That once was mine?
But while there's hope
While I still breathe
I will believe
But while there's hope
While I still breathe
I will believe
[zombies growling]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
[breathing deeply]
[horn blaring]
Boom! Saved your life!
[engine revs]
[festive music playing]
[students]
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Where to next?
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah
There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending
This is not
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The story
You've been dreaming of
No such thing
As a Hollywood ending
The one where
You get all you want
So stop your pretending
There's no such thing as a
Hollywood ending
[roaring]