Anyone But My Husband (1975) Movie Script
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Woman moaning)
- Slower, Bonnie. Slower.
That's it.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie moaning)
Yeah, yeah, keep doing it just like that.
Just like that.
Oh yeah, just like that.
Oh, oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I'm coming.
I'm... oh, oh, hold on, hold on.
(Bonnie moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes, keep doing it.
Just like that, keep riding it like that.
Keep riding it like that.
Oh! (Man moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
That's good, that's good.
- Okay. (Giggles)
- Oh, oh, oh.
Just like that. Oh, oh, that feels good.
Oh, that feels good.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Both moaning)
- Oh, no, no.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Man moans)
- Oh, how young you feel.
Oh, yes, a nice little 15 year old.
Oh! Oh!
I haven't had one... oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, yeah.
- Make it count.
(Both moaning)
(Both panting) (Both moaning)
- Now.
Now let it go deep inside of you.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Light bluegrass music)
Ah, how many years since I had a tight,
young virgin pressing down on me?
Yeah, you can feel all the thrusts.
That's it. Oh...
You feel like a virgin.
(Lively bluegrass music)
That's right, keep going.
Deep down, that's it.
Keep pressing harder.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Grunts) Harder, keep pressing harder.
- Oh, let's go... no.
- (Phone rings)
Make it loud. (Laughs)
- Make it...
- Oh, I can't breathe.
- Make it. (Moans)
- Hello?
Oh, it's you Sylvia.
Look, I really can't talk.
I've got a capon in the oven
and Sam will be home in a minute.
(Lively bluegrass music)
- Better.
- What's that supposed to mean'?
He's at a teacher's conference.
(Moaning)
Keep up with my rhythm.
There's no rush.
- Of course I believe him.
(Lively bluegrass music)
Look, I really can't talk.
That's a rotten thing to say.
(Lively bluegrass music)
- Now slowly, slowly, slowly up and down.
Yeah.
Want to feel that tight
little cunt of yours.
Oh, I'm gonna fill you up, you bitch.
Oh, yes! Oh yes, around, that's it.
In a circular motion,
yeah, yeah. Around, around.
Yeah! Yeah, just like that. (Moans)
- (Moans) Fuck me.
Fuck me.
Oh, Mr. Pelham!
(Lively bluegrass music)
You don't stand a chance tonight, Sam.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie laughs)
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie giggles)
- (Groans) Ooh! Ah, ah!
I'm gonna fill you up.
(Lively bluegrass music)
You're gonna be full of my semen,
you little, cunting bitch.
You twat. (Bonnie moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
Oh, oh, ican't wait. I
can't wait, I can't wait.
I can't wait! I'm coming,
I'm coming! (Sam yells)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
(Both moaning)
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Sam moaning)
- Well, Sam, here's to our new beginning.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Sam moans)
(Melancholy, soft piano music)
- Hey, you're too young
to drink. Cut that out.
- (Laughs) You've gotta
be kidding, Mr. Pelham.
You know, I always wondered
what it would be like
to fuck my history teacher.
Ah, don't kid me.
I've seen you looking at
all them tits and asses.
And how come you're always
hanging out at the gym, huh?
- Hey, look.
That's quite enough
out of you, young lady.
- Bonnie?
Bonnie, are you home?
What the hell are you doing
in there with the door closed?
- Who the hell is that?
- That's my mother.
- Your what?
- My mother.
Well, everybody's got one.
- Have you got a man in there?
- Oh, don't worry about it.
She was at a friend's house.
She just came home early.
- Fuck you, you little cunt.
How am I going to get outta here?
- (Laughs) They usually go
down the fire escape. (Laughs)
- Oh, help me, this is the last time.
(Quirky keyboard music)
I'll fix you so you won't
even be able to walk again,
you little tramp.
Wait 'til your father gets home.
So... and down the fire escape again.
Yeah, I'll fix this one.
I'll see that he winds up behind bars.
My own daughter... a whore.
God, where have I gone wrong?
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Dramatic piano music)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Melancholy orchestral music)
- Sam, I prepared all this for you.
Come, let's have some
champagne before dinner.
- Come on. Leave me alone, will you, Nora?
Look, I had a rough day today at school
and I'm in no mood to celebrate.
I suppose you think it's easy teaching
those little bastards, huh?
Some soft life, a college degree I needed.
- Oh, please, Sam.
It'll be just like it
was on our honeymoon.
Remember? I was too young to drink,
so you had to bring a bottle of champagne
up to the hotel room.
- Jesus, knock it off, will you?
(Dramatic piano music)
(Melancholy orchestral music)
- Oh, honey.
- Oh, come on, get outta here.
(Soft piano music)
Ugh, boy, I could sleep for seven days.
- Please have some champagne with me.
- Champagne? (Chuckles)
That's just beautiful.
That's just beautiful.
That's just what I need.
I work like an idiot all day long,
trying to teach history
to homicidal morons,
and you want me to drink
champagne. (Chuckles)
Only I have a wife who
buys caviar, champagne,
anything else on a high
school teacher's salary!
(Soft orchestral music)
- What's the matter, Sam?
Have I gotten too old for you?
- Yeah, too old in the wrong places.
Caviar?
What the hell do you
think this is, anyway?
The ss. France?
You know, your body may have gotten old.
You're not the cute little high
school cheerleader anymore,
but your brain hasn't
gotten past the third grade.
Now will you turn off that damn record?
Sure, sure, Sam'll pay for it.
Sam'll pay for anything.
The pelham to the jet center to block.
Oh, will you shut the fucking lights?
(Soft orchestral music)
(Soft orchestral music cont.)
(Lively orchestral music)
Another thing... (Woman yells)
(Dramatic orchestral music)
(Dramatic orchestral music cont.)
(Woman breathing heavily)
(Woman moaning softly)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Woman moaning)
(Swelling orchestral music)
(Object clanging)
(Woman moaning)
(Swelling music) (Woman moaning)
(Woman crying out)
(Object clanging)
(Woman crying out)
(Orchestral music swelling)
(Woman sighs)
(Dramatic orchestral music)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water sloshing)
(Woman moaning softly)
- This is really very
embarrassing, Dr. Malcolm.
I've never been to see
a psychiatrist before.
- But Sylvia...
- Yes, that's right.
Nothing to fear when you sit in here.
Now, why do you think your
husband won't touch you?
- Because I'm too old.
- You don't look very old.
How old are you, Nora?
- You don't understand.
I'm 22.
We were married when I
was 16, but my husband...
Well, he has this hangup.
He likes young girls.
- Well, I can understand that.
I like them myself. (Chuckles)
Now, as to your problems,
say the first thing
that comes into your mind.
Oh, no, on second thought,
that'll take too long.
We have to deal with
this problem directly.
- Dr. Malcolm, do you
think I'm unattractive?
- Of course not.
I find myself attracted
to you quite easily,
but you needn't worry.
I can control my feelings.
Now, you seem to think that
this is your fault. It isn't.
I don't think it's Sam's fault, either.
These things happen in marriages
when the partners have been very close.
- What does that mean?
- It means what it means.
- Don't worry about meanings.
That will only confuse the
issue. Just try to be subjective.
Don't try to figure out your
problems. Just solve them.
- Well, what should I do?
There's only one thing for
it. The answer is very simple.
You must have an affair.
This will prove that some men
still find you attractive,
and this will undoubtedly
change the pattern of your life.
- You, a psychiatrist, advising
me to cheat on my husband?
- He probably does the same thing.
Anyway, you're paying me
for my professional opinion.
That is my professional opinion.
Take it or leave it.
- I guess I'll have to take it,
but how do I go about having an affair?
- Oh, Nora, I'm surprised at you.
You know I can't advise you on that.
It would be unethical.
- And then what did he say?
- He said he couldn't
advise me on how to do it.
How do you go about
having an affair, Sylvia?
- Ugh.
(Object bangs)
Don't you think it's about
time you grew up, my dear?
I bet you still don't know anything.
Well, of course, how could you
with that jellyfish of a husband you have?
- Sylvia!
- Oh, never mind.
At any rate, we must first
decide what kind of a man
we wanna have an affair with.
Let's see... an intellectual,
a hard hat, truck driver?
- What do you mean, "we?"
- Look, sweetie, you don't think
you're in this alone, do you?
(Sighs) Darren makes
love to me once a week.
On sundays, if I'm very lucky.
He says that it's terribly
gauche and recherch
during the week.
He says that his mind is too full of art
and inspirations during the week.
(Chuckles) Yeah.
I know what his mind
is full of, all right.
So we're both looking for affairs.
Now what's it's going to be?
The intellectual or Stanley Kowalski?
- Who's Stanley Kowalski?
- Please.
Never mind.
I think we'll start
with the creative type.
Darren went to an art gallery
opening just the other day.
The artiste, as they
say, is simply divine.
- Sylvia, I just don't know.
(Tense orchestral music)
- Oh, look, there he is.
Now come on, let's go over
and I'll introduce you.
- Sylvia, what would he want with us?
- Nora, don't be such an arse.
- How do you do?
My name is Nigel farthington.
How very charming of you
to come to my gallery.
Charming, mmm.
Well, I've told you my name.
You must tell me yours.
- Oh, I'm so delighted to
meet you, Mr. Farthington.
I'm Sylvia, darling.
- Just charming.
- And this is Nora pelham.
-Mmm.
Charming.
I can only hope that you
will be mildly amused
by my modest attempts.
You show very good taste
in coming to my gallery.
The most important thing in life is chic,
and of course, a discerning eye.
- How very delighted I am to
meet you, Mr. Farthington.
- And now, my darlings,
I shall take you and show you everything.
- This is all breathtaking.
I don't know very much about all this,
but I'm sure you're a very great artist.
- Yes, I can just see the
greatness all over the place.
- My dear Nora, every
moment I live, I'm creating.
Everything to me is art.
I shall now take you and transform
you into my own creation,
and then you will see my true genius.
- You two darlings run along and create.
Aunt Sylvia is late for her dog show
and she expects to win the first prize.
Ta-ta.
- Your friend is a little
too cynical for my tastes.
But you? You're charming.
Now come with me.
(Tense orchestral music)
I'm terribly sorry.
The gallery is closed for today.
Thank you for coming.
Good afternoon.
Now, Nora, let us go over
there and we will create.
We're wasting time.
Remove your clothes.
- Well, can't you paint
me with my clothes on?
- (Laughs) You're joking, surely.
You Americans.
To think that I would be so
pedestrian as to use canvas.
No, this masterpiece
will be a moment in time.
Now remove your clothes.
- Stop it, you must be mad.
I'll scream, really.
You must be crazy!
- You can scream all you like.
You'll not be heard, for
this room is soundproof.
Yes, it caters to my eccentricities.
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
(Nora screams)
Scream, twist and turn. Help
create my new masterpiece.
Scream! (Nora screams)
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
(Nora continues screaming)
Keep bleeding, Nora! Struggle! Struggle!
(Nora screams) (Nora cries)
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
You are my work of art.
Your fear is my greatest creation.
(Nora sighs)
(Nora screams)
(Playfully creepy keyboard music)
- Stop, please!
- Nora, please!
- Please, I won't tell anybody.
Let me go!
- Fight! (Nora screams)
How 'bout some more?
(Nora screams)
(Whip slapping)
Yes. That's it, Nora. More.
Now keep fighting me.
It isn't any good unless...
(Nora screams)
That's it.
Just see your stomach
rising with mournful turns.
(Nora screams)
That's it.
Come on.
Scream! Louder!
(Nora screams) That's it.
(Nora screams)
Scream, Nora, as your sweet flesh
is caressed by my artistry.
(Nora screams)
Keep bleeding, Nora. Struggle!
(Nora cries)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Nora cries)
Moans of ecstasy, of greatness,
know the ultimate pleasure of pain.
(Tense orchestral music)
(Tense orchestral music cont.)
(Nora moans)
(Nora sighs)
(Nora moans)
(Nigel moans) (Nora moans)
(Both moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
(Nora moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Nigel moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
(Nigel groans)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Nora moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
That was rather charming, Nora.
You have just the right
amount of fear and passion.
I have given birth to a great new work.
How pleased you must be to know that.
Why don't you come back
tomorrow afternoon, around 3:00?
I shall need the same
sort of inspiration again.
Nora?
Nora?
Nora?
Nora?
(Tense orchestral music)
(Traffic rumbling)
- You know, you look different somehow.
- How?
- Oh, I don't know.
Never mind.
- When are you leaving?
- Tonight.
I'll be back in about a week
after the teachers' convention.
Will you miss me?
-Mmm.
- I was thinking, maybe you
should go to your mother's.
-Hmm.
(Light orchestral music)
- Well, the least you could
do is say that you'll miss me.
Maybe even ask me what
hotel I'm staying at?
- I'll miss you, but
must I know what hotel
you'll be staying at?
- Never mind.
That's the thanks I
get for making a living
and change that goddamn
wall back to a normal color.
This whole place looks
like a bubble gum factory.
It's shit.
(Soft, plucky string music)
(Doorbell rings)
- I waited until Sam left.
Now I want you to tell me everything.
- You sure know some crazy people, Sylvia.
Come on in.
- Well, did it happen?
Did you have an affair?
- Well, it was fun until
he started whipping me.
- He whipped you?
Oh, that's marvelous.
That's even better than I dared hope for.
How was it?
Did you like it? Did he hurt you?
Was it fabulous?
Did he make love to you?
- Are you nuts?
I was terrified.
Well, actually, it was little exciting.
- Oh, really?
Were you really turned on?
I mean, really turned on?
Are you going back?
- You must be out of your mind.
I want to go to bed, not to the hospital.
That man should be locked up.
I don't think I wanna meet any
more of your friends, Sylvia.
- Well, I mean, Nora, what
are you going to do now?
- Sam is leaving.
He won't be back until next week,
so I'll have plenty of time to experiment.
I think I'll try something
a little less violent.
- "For thy sweet love
remembered such wealth brings,
but then I scorn to change
my state with kings."
(Soft orchestral music)
Oh, Nora, my love, we are
the children of our spirits,
the souls of spring to come.
We must consummate the rites of spring
and let our bodies and souls rise together
in a communion to the gods.
- Is all this really necessary?
- This?
Why, this is my shrine to
all the gods of poetry:
Keats, shelley, wordsworth, Tennyson.
Oh, lord Byron, longfellow. (Moans)
(Soft orchestral music)
Frost.
(Nora moans softly)
(Both kissing) (Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both kissing)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both kissing)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Both gasping)
(Firecracker booms)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning softly)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Both gasping)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both gasping)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both crying out)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Soft orchestral music)
I must speak, Nora.
The words are burning in my mouth,
or maybe it's this chicken.
Nora, we were meant to be
together for all eternity.
Can't you see?
- What are you talking about?
- It's our destiny.
The fates have thrown us together.
You must marry me, Nora.
You must marry me today.
Today, Nora. Please.
Or I will not be
responsible for my own life.
- I should've known you were off the wall
when you asked me to dress this way.
And this set, it's like a
reject from south pacific.
- You cannot deny what is ours.
Come, Nora, we will marry this afternoon.
Hmm?
- Oh, fuck off.
Aren't there any sane
men left in this world
who just want a good lay?
- Nora, Nora, you will marry me?
It is inevitable.
We will be married this afternoon.
Nora, marry me.
Marry me!
- You know, I'm beginning
to think the only sane
and uncomplicated man
left in this world is Sam.
- Oh, for heaven's sake, Nora.
Don't be like that.
Just because you ran
into a couple of freaks
doesn't mean you're going
to give up, does it?
- I don't know.
I've begun to realize
just how much I love Sam.
- Ugh.
- Don't worry.
I'm not gonna give up.
- That's the spirit.
Onto the hordes!
Nora, have you ever had your fortune told?
- No, of course not.
- Well, it just so happens
that I have a friend
who has given me the address
of a very special fortune teller.
- Wait a minute.
Not another friend of yours.
- Oh, but I'll be there.
So it'll be just fine.
Don't worry about a thing.
- Oh, well, what have I
got to lose except my life?
- I see a man.
I see a man entering your life.
I see a man who is more than a man.
I see two men. No... I see
a man who is 13 feet high.
No, no, no. He's not high, he's long.
Yes, that is it. A man
who is 13 inches long.
- Impossible.
- He's 13 inches long.
- Oh! (Laughs)
- Good heavens.
And he's called... he is called...
El goncho, yes.
- El goncho.
Now what does that mean?
- I don't know, it's cloudy.
I can't see.
- Oh, come on.
Bring him back, come on.
- Yes, yes, it is getting
clearer now, I see.
It means, "the schnook."
No, no, no, no, no, that cannot be.
I look again.
It means... it means, "the hook."
Yes, he is called the hook,
and the crystal tells
me that he's here now.
He was here and he is looking for Sylvia.
- Oh, really?
Oh, but that's impossible.
I haven't seen anybody here, have you?
- Not since you've come in.
But the crystal never lies.
He is here now and the crystal gives me...
- Can you imagine?
Isn't that the most absurd
thing you ever heard?
Is that thing for real?
- Madame chaney is never fake.
Everything in her house is real.
Here, pull on it.
You'll see.
(Light string music)
The voice speaks normally, but his cock,
this is international.
He seems to have taken a fancy to Sylvia.
Very well, that's fine.
The crystal ball never lies.
You may take him up to room 8.
The door is open.
- Well, what the hell?
I can only live once, right?
(Light string music)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
- I see two women.
I see you and me.
- Now wait a minute.
- No, no, no, there's nothing you can do.
It's written in the stars.
(Soft string music)
Come, come, darling.
Take off your clothes and
we'll see what we have here.
- But I've never been with a woman before.
I mean...
- Come, I will clean you out first,
and then we will see
how well you make love.
I haven't had a good piece in over a week.
(Soft string music)
(Water splashing)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning softly)
(Both moaning softly)
(Soft string music)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Water splashing)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Bodies thumping) (Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
(Bright orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashes) (Both moaning)
(Gentle orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Romantic string music)
(Both moaning exuberantly)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Women laughing)
(Both moaning) (Water splashing)
(Romantic string music)
(Women groaning)
(Both moaning)
(Women laughing)
- Oh, boy.
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Water splashing)
(Nora moans)
(Light orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
- Nora, my sweet, this
boy must have his fun.
Open your mouth.
(Nora moans)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Romantic orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Swelling orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Madame chaney laughs)
(Women kissing)
(Both moaning) (Nora gags)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Nora gagging)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Music swelling)
- Oh, god.
- He must've had an operation.
- Oh my god.
- My throat will never be the same.
(Nora moans)
It should only happen to Linda lovelace.
(Nora moans)
I'm beginning to think I
should've never strayed.
(Nora moans)
And now that Sam is in Chicago
and can't even defend himself,
I'm having these terrible
feelings of guilt
about these affairs, but I'm addicted.
I can't give it up. I never
felt so alive in years.
- This feeling of being
alive is good, Nora.
Now you begin to understand
some of your problems.
Your father was the key figure
and your oedipal problems
all stem from him.
This hysterical laryngitis
is a manifestation
of that very symptom.
Now, Sam was a substitute
father that you never had,
and your incestuous feelings towards Sam
made you tired and unresponsive.
So you see, the ramifications
of what you have...
- I don't know what the
fuck you're talking about.
Hysterical laryngitis, shit!
If you had just given
head to 13 1/2 inches,
you'd be a little hoarse, too.
- I am merely saying that
now that you're cured,
go back to your husband
and resume the marriage
that every young girl
dreams about, and then...
- What garbage!
You don't hear a word I'm saying.
You're nothing but a textbook.
Forget it, doc.
You're a pile of bullshit.
- And as you see, your oedipal
motivations are easily within
the grasp of your own mind,
no matter how subconscious
your fears might be, or even were.
For that matter, you might as
well forget the whole thing.
(Man sings indistinctly)
I early in the morning I
- surprise!
- Hey!
(Group cheers)
- Whoo!
- Hey.
- Turn on the light here so you can see.
- Hey, this is really nice.
Wow.
- You like it?
- Yeah, who pays for this place?
- Daddy, who else?
- Daddy.
This is really such a beautiful place.
- Make yourself at home.
- Oh, sure, Nora, oh..
- Nora?!
Who the fuck's Nora?
- Nora... no, never mind.
Nora. (Laughs)
- Get rid of this shit.
- Oh, but I like that.
- You like it?
I who's afraid of Virginia woolf I
I Virginia woolf I
I Virginia woolf I
- Nora, Virginia woolf?
- Nora's afraid of
Virginia woolf. (Laughs)
Have some wine.
- Nah.
You work on that thing.
I'll work on this.
- Yeah, you can't get it off, eh?
Oh, that's very nice, mmm.
- I'm in a mood, baby.
You were hot to trot before.
Let's get going, huh?
- Air conditioning, all right.
Very good.
Oh. (Woman giggles)
- Oh, baby.
- I can't get
this thing untied.
- You turn me on.
- Oh.
- Ah, you turn me on.
- Ah, thank you, Nora.
Nora.
(Woman giggles)
Oh, Nora, Nora, I love you.
Oh. (Groans)
- Who the fuck is Nora?
- Oh, Nora, Nora.
- Who the fuck is Nora, shit?
- I've been so bad to you, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, eat me, Charlie.
Oh, suck me.
- The name is Sam.
- Oh, Charlie.
- Sam.
- Charlie, suck me.
- Sam.
- Oh, Charlie, that's it.
Ooh, get it, Charlie.
- The name is Sam.
- Oh, Charlie.
- If you call me Charlie once more,
I'm gonna bite your clit off.
- Sam! (Groans)
- Oh, Nora. (Moans)
Nora, I love you, Nora.
- Oh, dang it.
- Oh, Nora.
- Oh, Nora.
- Sam.
- Nora.
- Charlie.
- Abby, Abby.
- Sam, Sam.
- Nora.
- Sam.
- Charlie.
- Oh.
- Sam - Nora, oh.
- Charlie.
- Nora.
- Oh, Sam, Sam. (Moans)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
Oh, Sam. (Moans)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Both continue moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Woman sighs)
- Nora.
Nora, honey, come out.
Let's have some wine to
celebrate my first night home.
- Please, Sam, some other time.
I'm much too tired.
- Yes, but I've been neglecting you,
and I wanna change all that.
- Not right now.
Anyway, you forgot the caviar.
Boy, am I beat.
I could sleep for seven days.
- Yeah, but I thought...
- What did you think?
Do you think you had a rough day?
Well, I have it tough.
Washing and cleaning and then
trying to look beautiful.
I've never been so worn out.
Sure, Nora will be there, her body waiting
for her lord and master.
Sure, buy wine, buy wine.
But nobody even asked me if I want wine.
And Sam, turn off the damn light.
(Romantic orchestral music)
(Rousing orchestral music)
(Woman moaning)
- Slower, Bonnie. Slower.
That's it.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie moaning)
Yeah, yeah, keep doing it just like that.
Just like that.
Oh yeah, just like that.
Oh, oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I'm coming.
I'm... oh, oh, hold on, hold on.
(Bonnie moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes, keep doing it.
Just like that, keep riding it like that.
Keep riding it like that.
Oh! (Man moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
That's good, that's good.
- Okay. (Giggles)
- Oh, oh, oh.
Just like that. Oh, oh, that feels good.
Oh, that feels good.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Both moaning)
- Oh, no, no.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Man moans)
- Oh, how young you feel.
Oh, yes, a nice little 15 year old.
Oh! Oh!
I haven't had one... oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, yeah.
- Make it count.
(Both moaning)
(Both panting) (Both moaning)
- Now.
Now let it go deep inside of you.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Light bluegrass music)
Ah, how many years since I had a tight,
young virgin pressing down on me?
Yeah, you can feel all the thrusts.
That's it. Oh...
You feel like a virgin.
(Lively bluegrass music)
That's right, keep going.
Deep down, that's it.
Keep pressing harder.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Grunts) Harder, keep pressing harder.
- Oh, let's go... no.
- (Phone rings)
Make it loud. (Laughs)
- Make it...
- Oh, I can't breathe.
- Make it. (Moans)
- Hello?
Oh, it's you Sylvia.
Look, I really can't talk.
I've got a capon in the oven
and Sam will be home in a minute.
(Lively bluegrass music)
- Better.
- What's that supposed to mean'?
He's at a teacher's conference.
(Moaning)
Keep up with my rhythm.
There's no rush.
- Of course I believe him.
(Lively bluegrass music)
Look, I really can't talk.
That's a rotten thing to say.
(Lively bluegrass music)
- Now slowly, slowly, slowly up and down.
Yeah.
Want to feel that tight
little cunt of yours.
Oh, I'm gonna fill you up, you bitch.
Oh, yes! Oh yes, around, that's it.
In a circular motion,
yeah, yeah. Around, around.
Yeah! Yeah, just like that. (Moans)
- (Moans) Fuck me.
Fuck me.
Oh, Mr. Pelham!
(Lively bluegrass music)
You don't stand a chance tonight, Sam.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie laughs)
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Bonnie giggles)
- (Groans) Ooh! Ah, ah!
I'm gonna fill you up.
(Lively bluegrass music)
You're gonna be full of my semen,
you little, cunting bitch.
You twat. (Bonnie moans)
(Lively bluegrass music)
Oh, oh, ican't wait. I
can't wait, I can't wait.
I can't wait! I'm coming,
I'm coming! (Sam yells)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
(Both moaning)
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Sam moaning)
- Well, Sam, here's to our new beginning.
(Lively bluegrass music)
(Sam moans)
(Melancholy, soft piano music)
- Hey, you're too young
to drink. Cut that out.
- (Laughs) You've gotta
be kidding, Mr. Pelham.
You know, I always wondered
what it would be like
to fuck my history teacher.
Ah, don't kid me.
I've seen you looking at
all them tits and asses.
And how come you're always
hanging out at the gym, huh?
- Hey, look.
That's quite enough
out of you, young lady.
- Bonnie?
Bonnie, are you home?
What the hell are you doing
in there with the door closed?
- Who the hell is that?
- That's my mother.
- Your what?
- My mother.
Well, everybody's got one.
- Have you got a man in there?
- Oh, don't worry about it.
She was at a friend's house.
She just came home early.
- Fuck you, you little cunt.
How am I going to get outta here?
- (Laughs) They usually go
down the fire escape. (Laughs)
- Oh, help me, this is the last time.
(Quirky keyboard music)
I'll fix you so you won't
even be able to walk again,
you little tramp.
Wait 'til your father gets home.
So... and down the fire escape again.
Yeah, I'll fix this one.
I'll see that he winds up behind bars.
My own daughter... a whore.
God, where have I gone wrong?
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Dramatic piano music)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Melancholy orchestral music)
- Sam, I prepared all this for you.
Come, let's have some
champagne before dinner.
- Come on. Leave me alone, will you, Nora?
Look, I had a rough day today at school
and I'm in no mood to celebrate.
I suppose you think it's easy teaching
those little bastards, huh?
Some soft life, a college degree I needed.
- Oh, please, Sam.
It'll be just like it
was on our honeymoon.
Remember? I was too young to drink,
so you had to bring a bottle of champagne
up to the hotel room.
- Jesus, knock it off, will you?
(Dramatic piano music)
(Melancholy orchestral music)
- Oh, honey.
- Oh, come on, get outta here.
(Soft piano music)
Ugh, boy, I could sleep for seven days.
- Please have some champagne with me.
- Champagne? (Chuckles)
That's just beautiful.
That's just beautiful.
That's just what I need.
I work like an idiot all day long,
trying to teach history
to homicidal morons,
and you want me to drink
champagne. (Chuckles)
Only I have a wife who
buys caviar, champagne,
anything else on a high
school teacher's salary!
(Soft orchestral music)
- What's the matter, Sam?
Have I gotten too old for you?
- Yeah, too old in the wrong places.
Caviar?
What the hell do you
think this is, anyway?
The ss. France?
You know, your body may have gotten old.
You're not the cute little high
school cheerleader anymore,
but your brain hasn't
gotten past the third grade.
Now will you turn off that damn record?
Sure, sure, Sam'll pay for it.
Sam'll pay for anything.
The pelham to the jet center to block.
Oh, will you shut the fucking lights?
(Soft orchestral music)
(Soft orchestral music cont.)
(Lively orchestral music)
Another thing... (Woman yells)
(Dramatic orchestral music)
(Dramatic orchestral music cont.)
(Woman breathing heavily)
(Woman moaning softly)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Woman moaning)
(Swelling orchestral music)
(Object clanging)
(Woman moaning)
(Swelling music) (Woman moaning)
(Woman crying out)
(Object clanging)
(Woman crying out)
(Orchestral music swelling)
(Woman sighs)
(Dramatic orchestral music)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water sloshing)
(Woman moaning softly)
- This is really very
embarrassing, Dr. Malcolm.
I've never been to see
a psychiatrist before.
- But Sylvia...
- Yes, that's right.
Nothing to fear when you sit in here.
Now, why do you think your
husband won't touch you?
- Because I'm too old.
- You don't look very old.
How old are you, Nora?
- You don't understand.
I'm 22.
We were married when I
was 16, but my husband...
Well, he has this hangup.
He likes young girls.
- Well, I can understand that.
I like them myself. (Chuckles)
Now, as to your problems,
say the first thing
that comes into your mind.
Oh, no, on second thought,
that'll take too long.
We have to deal with
this problem directly.
- Dr. Malcolm, do you
think I'm unattractive?
- Of course not.
I find myself attracted
to you quite easily,
but you needn't worry.
I can control my feelings.
Now, you seem to think that
this is your fault. It isn't.
I don't think it's Sam's fault, either.
These things happen in marriages
when the partners have been very close.
- What does that mean?
- It means what it means.
- Don't worry about meanings.
That will only confuse the
issue. Just try to be subjective.
Don't try to figure out your
problems. Just solve them.
- Well, what should I do?
There's only one thing for
it. The answer is very simple.
You must have an affair.
This will prove that some men
still find you attractive,
and this will undoubtedly
change the pattern of your life.
- You, a psychiatrist, advising
me to cheat on my husband?
- He probably does the same thing.
Anyway, you're paying me
for my professional opinion.
That is my professional opinion.
Take it or leave it.
- I guess I'll have to take it,
but how do I go about having an affair?
- Oh, Nora, I'm surprised at you.
You know I can't advise you on that.
It would be unethical.
- And then what did he say?
- He said he couldn't
advise me on how to do it.
How do you go about
having an affair, Sylvia?
- Ugh.
(Object bangs)
Don't you think it's about
time you grew up, my dear?
I bet you still don't know anything.
Well, of course, how could you
with that jellyfish of a husband you have?
- Sylvia!
- Oh, never mind.
At any rate, we must first
decide what kind of a man
we wanna have an affair with.
Let's see... an intellectual,
a hard hat, truck driver?
- What do you mean, "we?"
- Look, sweetie, you don't think
you're in this alone, do you?
(Sighs) Darren makes
love to me once a week.
On sundays, if I'm very lucky.
He says that it's terribly
gauche and recherch
during the week.
He says that his mind is too full of art
and inspirations during the week.
(Chuckles) Yeah.
I know what his mind
is full of, all right.
So we're both looking for affairs.
Now what's it's going to be?
The intellectual or Stanley Kowalski?
- Who's Stanley Kowalski?
- Please.
Never mind.
I think we'll start
with the creative type.
Darren went to an art gallery
opening just the other day.
The artiste, as they
say, is simply divine.
- Sylvia, I just don't know.
(Tense orchestral music)
- Oh, look, there he is.
Now come on, let's go over
and I'll introduce you.
- Sylvia, what would he want with us?
- Nora, don't be such an arse.
- How do you do?
My name is Nigel farthington.
How very charming of you
to come to my gallery.
Charming, mmm.
Well, I've told you my name.
You must tell me yours.
- Oh, I'm so delighted to
meet you, Mr. Farthington.
I'm Sylvia, darling.
- Just charming.
- And this is Nora pelham.
-Mmm.
Charming.
I can only hope that you
will be mildly amused
by my modest attempts.
You show very good taste
in coming to my gallery.
The most important thing in life is chic,
and of course, a discerning eye.
- How very delighted I am to
meet you, Mr. Farthington.
- And now, my darlings,
I shall take you and show you everything.
- This is all breathtaking.
I don't know very much about all this,
but I'm sure you're a very great artist.
- Yes, I can just see the
greatness all over the place.
- My dear Nora, every
moment I live, I'm creating.
Everything to me is art.
I shall now take you and transform
you into my own creation,
and then you will see my true genius.
- You two darlings run along and create.
Aunt Sylvia is late for her dog show
and she expects to win the first prize.
Ta-ta.
- Your friend is a little
too cynical for my tastes.
But you? You're charming.
Now come with me.
(Tense orchestral music)
I'm terribly sorry.
The gallery is closed for today.
Thank you for coming.
Good afternoon.
Now, Nora, let us go over
there and we will create.
We're wasting time.
Remove your clothes.
- Well, can't you paint
me with my clothes on?
- (Laughs) You're joking, surely.
You Americans.
To think that I would be so
pedestrian as to use canvas.
No, this masterpiece
will be a moment in time.
Now remove your clothes.
- Stop it, you must be mad.
I'll scream, really.
You must be crazy!
- You can scream all you like.
You'll not be heard, for
this room is soundproof.
Yes, it caters to my eccentricities.
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
(Nora screams)
Scream, twist and turn. Help
create my new masterpiece.
Scream! (Nora screams)
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
(Nora continues screaming)
Keep bleeding, Nora! Struggle! Struggle!
(Nora screams) (Nora cries)
(Eerie, discordant drone music)
You are my work of art.
Your fear is my greatest creation.
(Nora sighs)
(Nora screams)
(Playfully creepy keyboard music)
- Stop, please!
- Nora, please!
- Please, I won't tell anybody.
Let me go!
- Fight! (Nora screams)
How 'bout some more?
(Nora screams)
(Whip slapping)
Yes. That's it, Nora. More.
Now keep fighting me.
It isn't any good unless...
(Nora screams)
That's it.
Just see your stomach
rising with mournful turns.
(Nora screams)
That's it.
Come on.
Scream! Louder!
(Nora screams) That's it.
(Nora screams)
Scream, Nora, as your sweet flesh
is caressed by my artistry.
(Nora screams)
Keep bleeding, Nora. Struggle!
(Nora cries)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Nora cries)
Moans of ecstasy, of greatness,
know the ultimate pleasure of pain.
(Tense orchestral music)
(Tense orchestral music cont.)
(Nora moans)
(Nora sighs)
(Nora moans)
(Nigel moans) (Nora moans)
(Both moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
(Nora moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Nigel moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
(Nigel groans)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Nora moaning)
(Tense orchestral music)
That was rather charming, Nora.
You have just the right
amount of fear and passion.
I have given birth to a great new work.
How pleased you must be to know that.
Why don't you come back
tomorrow afternoon, around 3:00?
I shall need the same
sort of inspiration again.
Nora?
Nora?
Nora?
Nora?
(Tense orchestral music)
(Traffic rumbling)
- You know, you look different somehow.
- How?
- Oh, I don't know.
Never mind.
- When are you leaving?
- Tonight.
I'll be back in about a week
after the teachers' convention.
Will you miss me?
-Mmm.
- I was thinking, maybe you
should go to your mother's.
-Hmm.
(Light orchestral music)
- Well, the least you could
do is say that you'll miss me.
Maybe even ask me what
hotel I'm staying at?
- I'll miss you, but
must I know what hotel
you'll be staying at?
- Never mind.
That's the thanks I
get for making a living
and change that goddamn
wall back to a normal color.
This whole place looks
like a bubble gum factory.
It's shit.
(Soft, plucky string music)
(Doorbell rings)
- I waited until Sam left.
Now I want you to tell me everything.
- You sure know some crazy people, Sylvia.
Come on in.
- Well, did it happen?
Did you have an affair?
- Well, it was fun until
he started whipping me.
- He whipped you?
Oh, that's marvelous.
That's even better than I dared hope for.
How was it?
Did you like it? Did he hurt you?
Was it fabulous?
Did he make love to you?
- Are you nuts?
I was terrified.
Well, actually, it was little exciting.
- Oh, really?
Were you really turned on?
I mean, really turned on?
Are you going back?
- You must be out of your mind.
I want to go to bed, not to the hospital.
That man should be locked up.
I don't think I wanna meet any
more of your friends, Sylvia.
- Well, I mean, Nora, what
are you going to do now?
- Sam is leaving.
He won't be back until next week,
so I'll have plenty of time to experiment.
I think I'll try something
a little less violent.
- "For thy sweet love
remembered such wealth brings,
but then I scorn to change
my state with kings."
(Soft orchestral music)
Oh, Nora, my love, we are
the children of our spirits,
the souls of spring to come.
We must consummate the rites of spring
and let our bodies and souls rise together
in a communion to the gods.
- Is all this really necessary?
- This?
Why, this is my shrine to
all the gods of poetry:
Keats, shelley, wordsworth, Tennyson.
Oh, lord Byron, longfellow. (Moans)
(Soft orchestral music)
Frost.
(Nora moans softly)
(Both kissing) (Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both kissing)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Both kissing)
(Soft orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Both gasping)
(Firecracker booms)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning softly)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Both gasping)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both gasping)
(Both moaning)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Both crying out)
(Light, whimsical orchestral music)
(Soft orchestral music)
I must speak, Nora.
The words are burning in my mouth,
or maybe it's this chicken.
Nora, we were meant to be
together for all eternity.
Can't you see?
- What are you talking about?
- It's our destiny.
The fates have thrown us together.
You must marry me, Nora.
You must marry me today.
Today, Nora. Please.
Or I will not be
responsible for my own life.
- I should've known you were off the wall
when you asked me to dress this way.
And this set, it's like a
reject from south pacific.
- You cannot deny what is ours.
Come, Nora, we will marry this afternoon.
Hmm?
- Oh, fuck off.
Aren't there any sane
men left in this world
who just want a good lay?
- Nora, Nora, you will marry me?
It is inevitable.
We will be married this afternoon.
Nora, marry me.
Marry me!
- You know, I'm beginning
to think the only sane
and uncomplicated man
left in this world is Sam.
- Oh, for heaven's sake, Nora.
Don't be like that.
Just because you ran
into a couple of freaks
doesn't mean you're going
to give up, does it?
- I don't know.
I've begun to realize
just how much I love Sam.
- Ugh.
- Don't worry.
I'm not gonna give up.
- That's the spirit.
Onto the hordes!
Nora, have you ever had your fortune told?
- No, of course not.
- Well, it just so happens
that I have a friend
who has given me the address
of a very special fortune teller.
- Wait a minute.
Not another friend of yours.
- Oh, but I'll be there.
So it'll be just fine.
Don't worry about a thing.
- Oh, well, what have I
got to lose except my life?
- I see a man.
I see a man entering your life.
I see a man who is more than a man.
I see two men. No... I see
a man who is 13 feet high.
No, no, no. He's not high, he's long.
Yes, that is it. A man
who is 13 inches long.
- Impossible.
- He's 13 inches long.
- Oh! (Laughs)
- Good heavens.
And he's called... he is called...
El goncho, yes.
- El goncho.
Now what does that mean?
- I don't know, it's cloudy.
I can't see.
- Oh, come on.
Bring him back, come on.
- Yes, yes, it is getting
clearer now, I see.
It means, "the schnook."
No, no, no, no, no, that cannot be.
I look again.
It means... it means, "the hook."
Yes, he is called the hook,
and the crystal tells
me that he's here now.
He was here and he is looking for Sylvia.
- Oh, really?
Oh, but that's impossible.
I haven't seen anybody here, have you?
- Not since you've come in.
But the crystal never lies.
He is here now and the crystal gives me...
- Can you imagine?
Isn't that the most absurd
thing you ever heard?
Is that thing for real?
- Madame chaney is never fake.
Everything in her house is real.
Here, pull on it.
You'll see.
(Light string music)
The voice speaks normally, but his cock,
this is international.
He seems to have taken a fancy to Sylvia.
Very well, that's fine.
The crystal ball never lies.
You may take him up to room 8.
The door is open.
- Well, what the hell?
I can only live once, right?
(Light string music)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
- I see two women.
I see you and me.
- Now wait a minute.
- No, no, no, there's nothing you can do.
It's written in the stars.
(Soft string music)
Come, come, darling.
Take off your clothes and
we'll see what we have here.
- But I've never been with a woman before.
I mean...
- Come, I will clean you out first,
and then we will see
how well you make love.
I haven't had a good piece in over a week.
(Soft string music)
(Water splashing)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning softly)
(Both moaning softly)
(Soft string music)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Water splashing)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Bodies thumping) (Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both continue moaning)
(Bright orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
(Water splashing)
(Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashes) (Both moaning)
(Gentle orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Romantic string music)
(Both moaning exuberantly)
(Light orchestral music)
(Water splashing)
(Women laughing)
(Both moaning) (Water splashing)
(Romantic string music)
(Women groaning)
(Both moaning)
(Women laughing)
- Oh, boy.
(Both moaning)
(Soft string music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
(Water splashing)
(Nora moans)
(Light orchestral music)
(Nora moans)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
- Nora, my sweet, this
boy must have his fun.
Open your mouth.
(Nora moans)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Romantic orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Swelling orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Madame chaney laughs)
(Women kissing)
(Both moaning) (Nora gags)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning) (Nora gagging)
("Blue danube waltz")
(Light orchestral music)
(Both moaning)
(Music swelling)
- Oh, god.
- He must've had an operation.
- Oh my god.
- My throat will never be the same.
(Nora moans)
It should only happen to Linda lovelace.
(Nora moans)
I'm beginning to think I
should've never strayed.
(Nora moans)
And now that Sam is in Chicago
and can't even defend himself,
I'm having these terrible
feelings of guilt
about these affairs, but I'm addicted.
I can't give it up. I never
felt so alive in years.
- This feeling of being
alive is good, Nora.
Now you begin to understand
some of your problems.
Your father was the key figure
and your oedipal problems
all stem from him.
This hysterical laryngitis
is a manifestation
of that very symptom.
Now, Sam was a substitute
father that you never had,
and your incestuous feelings towards Sam
made you tired and unresponsive.
So you see, the ramifications
of what you have...
- I don't know what the
fuck you're talking about.
Hysterical laryngitis, shit!
If you had just given
head to 13 1/2 inches,
you'd be a little hoarse, too.
- I am merely saying that
now that you're cured,
go back to your husband
and resume the marriage
that every young girl
dreams about, and then...
- What garbage!
You don't hear a word I'm saying.
You're nothing but a textbook.
Forget it, doc.
You're a pile of bullshit.
- And as you see, your oedipal
motivations are easily within
the grasp of your own mind,
no matter how subconscious
your fears might be, or even were.
For that matter, you might as
well forget the whole thing.
(Man sings indistinctly)
I early in the morning I
- surprise!
- Hey!
(Group cheers)
- Whoo!
- Hey.
- Turn on the light here so you can see.
- Hey, this is really nice.
Wow.
- You like it?
- Yeah, who pays for this place?
- Daddy, who else?
- Daddy.
This is really such a beautiful place.
- Make yourself at home.
- Oh, sure, Nora, oh..
- Nora?!
Who the fuck's Nora?
- Nora... no, never mind.
Nora. (Laughs)
- Get rid of this shit.
- Oh, but I like that.
- You like it?
I who's afraid of Virginia woolf I
I Virginia woolf I
I Virginia woolf I
- Nora, Virginia woolf?
- Nora's afraid of
Virginia woolf. (Laughs)
Have some wine.
- Nah.
You work on that thing.
I'll work on this.
- Yeah, you can't get it off, eh?
Oh, that's very nice, mmm.
- I'm in a mood, baby.
You were hot to trot before.
Let's get going, huh?
- Air conditioning, all right.
Very good.
Oh. (Woman giggles)
- Oh, baby.
- I can't get
this thing untied.
- You turn me on.
- Oh.
- Ah, you turn me on.
- Ah, thank you, Nora.
Nora.
(Woman giggles)
Oh, Nora, Nora, I love you.
Oh. (Groans)
- Who the fuck is Nora?
- Oh, Nora, Nora.
- Who the fuck is Nora, shit?
- I've been so bad to you, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, eat me, Charlie.
Oh, suck me.
- The name is Sam.
- Oh, Charlie.
- Sam.
- Charlie, suck me.
- Sam.
- Oh, Charlie, that's it.
Ooh, get it, Charlie.
- The name is Sam.
- Oh, Charlie.
- If you call me Charlie once more,
I'm gonna bite your clit off.
- Sam! (Groans)
- Oh, Nora. (Moans)
Nora, I love you, Nora.
- Oh, dang it.
- Oh, Nora.
- Oh, Nora.
- Sam.
- Nora.
- Charlie.
- Abby, Abby.
- Sam, Sam.
- Nora.
- Sam.
- Charlie.
- Oh.
- Sam - Nora, oh.
- Charlie.
- Nora.
- Oh, Sam, Sam. (Moans)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
Oh, Sam. (Moans)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Both moaning)
(Both continue moaning)
(Quirky keyboard music)
(Woman sighs)
- Nora.
Nora, honey, come out.
Let's have some wine to
celebrate my first night home.
- Please, Sam, some other time.
I'm much too tired.
- Yes, but I've been neglecting you,
and I wanna change all that.
- Not right now.
Anyway, you forgot the caviar.
Boy, am I beat.
I could sleep for seven days.
- Yeah, but I thought...
- What did you think?
Do you think you had a rough day?
Well, I have it tough.
Washing and cleaning and then
trying to look beautiful.
I've never been so worn out.
Sure, Nora will be there, her body waiting
for her lord and master.
Sure, buy wine, buy wine.
But nobody even asked me if I want wine.
And Sam, turn off the damn light.
(Romantic orchestral music)
(Rousing orchestral music)