Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm (2022) Movie Script

1
[ Beeping ]
[ Dog barks ]
[ Beeping ]
Carl: Oh, my stomach hurts.
I feel like
I got gas or something.
No! No!
This ain't gas!
W-W-What's happening to me?!
[ Growls, screeches ]
Who wants to party?!
[ Laughs ]
Carl looks like
he needs a hug.
Meatwad,
that's not Carl.
It's John Carpenter's
"The Thingamajig."
And if you hug it, it will hug
you back until you are dead.
Woman: Commence self-destruct
mode in T-minus 30 seconds.
Get in your suits! Hurry!
But, Shake,
what about you?
Just get your ass
in that Escape Cup.
I'm never gonna get laid again!
I don't need no instructions
to know how to ride!
Look at my freaking body!
I brought enough
lasers for everybody.
Oh, that don't matter.
None of this matters.
Yeah! Aah!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Come here!
Ahh! Damn it!
He's got me.
Lay off the French fries,
Fat Stuff!
What, ya --
What, ya steppin' to me?
I know you wasn't
talking to me.
[ Screaming ]
Let's do this!
Yeah!
Maybe you need to lose
some weight, Carl...
in the head region.
[ Grunting ]
Where did Carl go?
And all his --
Were those his cousins?
Carl was never
an official Aqua Teen,
just a try-hard wannabe.
But us, we're O.G.
Aqua Teen Forever.
Shake's right, Meatwad.
We stick together always.
Buckle up, gang.
T-minus 20 seconds.
But there's only room
for two in here.
20...19...
This was always a one-way trip
for me.
...18, 17...
Shake, no!
We can fit you in the cupholder.
...16, 15...
I thought we was
gonna be together.
...14, 13...
[ Sniffles ]
Aqua Teen Forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
...12, 11...
Initiate the launch.
Sayonara, guys.
Say hi to Earth for me.
...10, 9, 8...
We'll never forget you, Shake.
...7...
And when you get down there,
tell my wife I love her.
...6, 5...
Okay, man. We gotta go.
Push the launch button, please.
...4, 3...
And I want you to give
that big blue marble...
...2...
...a little kiss for me.
...1...
Push the damn button or --
Shake: And now I'm homeless.
Can you believe how this country
treats our space heroes?
So you survived
when the ship self-destructed?
I'm standing here,
aren't I?
What part of time travel
do you not understand?
Where's the rest of
your Aqua Teens?
I said they're dead,
even though I did fight
valiantly to save them.
That's how heroic I am.
Saving dicks who don't even
appreciate me.
They exist only
on this tattoo,
which I'm getting changed
to say "Aqua Teen Never"
because that's cheaper
than getting it removed.
Why Aqua Teen?
You seem
way older than a teenage --
I'm well into
my late 40s.
What is this?
A press conference?
No more questions
about the Aqua Teens!
You could get a Meatwad
Chief get knocked, you got a
beef, hope you rethought
Frylock cocked the Glock,
if you wanna see God
Master Shake gonna make you
meet your maker quickly
Drop a hot Carl
on that couch
It's our city
Forced a committee
to keep it lit
She ate my Glizzy in the busy
like it was dinner
from Denny's
Hold the hoopla,
I'm the Grand Poobah
Acknowledge my presence,
you been to see God
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
crew get money
Get, get money
Get, g-get money
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
think shit's funny
Get, get money
Get, g-get money
Lookin' like an igloo,
it's about that time
I'm a hot dog, hot shot,
hell of a shot, pop-pop
Block to the Fry for the win
Float above you
like the wind
Just watch,
opps crawling away again
Again, they fall
Again, they crawl
We doing it right here!
Again, we ball
Shake, Fry, and me
against the wall
Murders call
I'm out from the school...
[ Video-game music playing ]

Oh, no!
You're three minutes in,
and the Mooninites
have already
hijacked your movie.
And if you ever want to see
your movie alive again, bitch,
you will text ERRIZDAMAN
to ERRULZ (377859).
Errulz?
What gibberish is this?
It's my agenda.
It's not even
spelled right.
Err does rule.
You didn't think to ask me
before you made "ERRULZ"
our ransom text line?
Man, I must have been so drunk
when I did it.
Text "ERRIZDAMAN" -- one word --
and then check your phone.
Whoops!
And now we've
hijacked your phone.
Ha ha ha!
That's right.
We dominate
both your screens.
We are everywhere
at once!
The Mooninites control
all your wireless devices,
including
your remote control...
Don't touch it.
...which we control
remotely...
I said, don't touch it!
...with a separate
remote control.
We're digital.
And we have
one more digit for you.
Drop to your knees
and feast upon it.
'Cause this is your food.
Let it nourish you.
What else can we say
to offend, Err?
I don't know, man.
Kind of running out of stuff.
We're going to come up
with some other wicked barbs
to berate you with,
but until then,
choke on your pathetic excuse
for entertainment.
You just wasted $3.
No, it's $19.99.
What? For this?
Robbery!
No, this is nothing
but a pathetic cash grab.
Theaters rejected it.
Yah! Whoo! Yah!
Whoa, Billy! Whoa, Jenny!
Whoa, Bobby!
Turn right, Lucy.
Turn right, Billy.
Turn right, Other Bobby.
[ Laughs ]
Okay, don't everybody
love on me at once.
Meatwad, we don't need
any more dogs.
Ouch, Billy. Ouch, Bobby.
Ouch, Other Bobby.
Now, that hurts.
We're running
out of space.
And judging by
some of these tags,
did you steal these dogs
from dog owners?
I just love me some dogs.
My emotions run very high
when I see them.
And, well, it often
clouds my judgment.
Yeah, they love you, too,
but in a different way.
Ow!
Down, boy!
I'm getting in
good shape working here.
[ Dog barks ]
I lost 20 pounds just last week.
Ouch!
Down!
Liz, you should go home
and take a load off.
Give them dogs a rest.
I'm talking about
your feetsies, now.
You lock up every night,
Meatwad.
I feel bad asking this, but
you're not living here, are you?
[ Chuckles ] No! Lord, no.
Oh, good.
This is an animal shelter,
Liz.
I'm a man.
Come on, now.
Here are the keys.
Oh! I feel so guilty
making you lock up again.
Guilty enough that, uh, maybe I
crash with you for a few weeks
at your apartment,
with the food and all?
No, no.
[ Laughs ]
Not that kind of guilt.
The kind of guilt where you
say it but you don't mean it
or feel it.
Why do you ask?
[ Scoffs ]
No reason whatsoever.
I got me a big house
to live in.
Two cool roommates, too.
You've seen my tattoo.
Aqua Teen Forever, baby.
Frylock, Master Shake.
These here are my homeboys.
[ Chuckles ]
Listen to me prattle on.
[ Door closes ]
[ Dogs barking ]
See ya later.
[ Siren wailing,
cans clanking, gunshots ]
[ Insect squeaking ]
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Beep ]
[ Rattling, popping ]
[ Water running ]
We got goblins?
Huge ones.
You haven't heard them?
Shake, ain't no goddamn goblins
in here, man.
And now you curse
in front of him.
Is it any wonder why Meatwad's
so [bleep] up?
You ass[bleep] asshole.
[ Sighs ] Ugh.
[ Chuckles ] "Dongle."
Where's my computer?
I sold it.
Had to buy
the Halloween costumes.
Boo. I'm Macaroni Man.
Okay, his is not
the good one.
I had the cure for cancer
on that hard drive, Shake.
But when I win, we use the money
to buy your computer back.
'Course, I got to split the
winnings with these other guys.
Yeah.
Nice!
Big man.
[ Subway tracks clacking ]
[ Snoring ]
Unh-unh, unh-unh.
Meatwad, let go.
But who's gonna feed me
and help me say my prayers
and tuck me in at night?
You got to let go
of me, please.
Frylock, you're not leaving.
I'm the leader
and I'm telling you,
you're not going anywhere.
Yeah, walk it off.
You'll be back...
by -- by the end of the month
to pay the bills, right?
Or I'll get evicted, and --
and that is not happening, son!
You think
he heard any of that?
Boo!
Macaroni Man.
Still can't believe
you won that contest.
[ Brakes squealing ]
Next stop,
Amazin' headquarters,
your one shop
for online shopping.
When you go to work here,
you'll say, "It's Amazin'."

I soldered
all those motherboards,
installed all
the spyware.
Tickets are all clear.
Already?
Damn, dude!
Hey, we get paid by the hour.
You've got to move slower.
They'll expect all of us
to be that fast.
[ Computer beeps ]
Ooh! New ticket.
"Mouse needs new batteries"?
Oh, man.
There you go.
Go crush that one, superstar.
It's up in the Llama Dolly?
[ Slurping ]
I've never been in there.
Worked here eight years, never
set foot in the Llama Dolly.
They say
it's a functional spaceship
and everyone who built it
had their minds erased.
The elevator only has
one button -- up.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
No one comes down.
No one.
You heard of Neil?
He lives in there.
Shake: Llama Dolly?
Why don't they just call it
the Dalai Lama?
She-shay-shush!
Never call it that.
He named it that because
he did not want to insult
his best friend,
His Holiness.
He's friends with
the Dalai Lama?
Don't say that!
There's microphones everywhere.
And whatever you do, don't say
anything about his, you know.
About his what?
There's a rumor [chuckles] we,
of course, do not believe --
right? -- that he's
4 inches tall.
You sure you're
up for this, Phoenix?
[ Chuckles ] I lived with an
asshole for 15 years, man.
I think I can handle Neil.
Oh! We didn't
say he was an asshole,
just that he's small
and he lives in
a spaceship disguised
as an animal.
Geez, some hang-ups
there, Phoenix.
Is that a really real name?
Phoenix?
Like the bird that
arose from the ashes?
No, like the capital of Arizona.
What do you think?
Okay, okay.
Everyone give
Phoenix some space,
'cause that's definitely
his real name.
Dude, for what it's worth,
I do think it's a cool name.
[ Clanging, beeping, pounding ]
[ Spray-paint can hissing ]
Carl: Warriors!
[ Chuckles ]
Come out and play-ay!
[ Laughs ]
That's right.
I'm the Bloods and the Crips
all in one can.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
Boo!
Ah, damn it!
Where'd you come from?
The roof.
I thought you vampires
got to be invited in.
Not when you own the place.
Who invited you in?
It's condemned.
I-I come in here
to chase off, uh,
rival street gangs.
Oh.
They just spray-painted
this and run off.
"Animal magnetizm."
"Scorpians ruuulez"
spelled wrong.
I guess kids today
still like
quality East German metal
from the '80s.
But this house is
an eyesore, Markula.
It's dragging down
my property values.
Tell you what. I'm gonna
make you a generous offer,
take this off your hands.
So you can flip it?
I wasn't born yesterday.
I was born
40,000 years ago.
Okay. All right. You got me.
I'm old now, too.
Slap a coat of paint on this,
and you're gonna be
so friggin' rich, dude.
Amazin's gobbling up
everything in the neighborhood.
Yes! Yeah, boy!
[ Laughing ]
Yeeeeah!
B-B-Boy-boy-boy-ba-boy!
You remember them food freaks
living there?
Oh, yes.
So many times I was like,
"I'm out. I'm done.
And I rented to them
just to annoy you.
All that time
being pissed off.
That's why I'm bald --
not genetics, the anger.
Hanging out with them,
it took years off my life.
So did the asbestos,
probably.
I never took it out
like the city told me.
[ Both laugh ]
Living here is finally
gonna to pay off, brother.
For once in my life,
happiness.
Hooray!
True, genuine happiness!
Jeff: Come on, baby.
Stretch it harder, Neil.
Ooh, you're growing taller.
I can see it.
I can see you growing.
It's miraculous.
Come on, crank it up, Neil.
Elongate yourself, Neil.
Come on,
we're in that homestretch.
Get it?
'Cause we're stretching.
Hello? Someone call
about mouse batteries?
Quick, grab that pen
and tape measure
and meet me at the doorframe,
quickly, quickly, now!
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Mark it.
Mark it before I shrink.
Uh, you want me
to put a date?
Yeah.
It's pretty much the same as
last month and the month before.
Impossible. Let me see.
You marked
from the crown of my head?
Yeah.
I knew it wasn't working, Elmer!
Blip-Blop,
new doorframe now.
You, fix this machine.
It's not working.
That's why I called you.
Not mouse batteries. Okay?
I'm not an idiot. Would an idiot
be able to build this company?
This is what
a smart person does.
[ Clattering ]
Now I definitely
can't fix it.
Do not speak a word
about this.
Blip-Blop, pull up an NDA.
Here, sign this.
You will go to jail if
you say anything about my size,
which is perfect for
a man of my height.
You're not that small.
I mean, I was told you were --
4 inches tall?
Elon Musk spread that rumor.
He's nothing but a battery pimp
who likes to have
sex with his batteries.
Tell that to everyone you know.
Let's get that going.
Blip-Blop,
new machine now.
Do not drop it.
Do not drop it.
D'oh!
Hum! Find my center.
Hum! Breathe into my body,
out, release.
[ Breathes deeply ]
Hum!
Okay. Ha ha. Sorry.
It's been a rough morning.
I'm usually way
taller than this. I'm Neil.
Phoenix. You ain't gonna
get taller
strapping yourself
to a rack.
But you could clone yourself
and splice the DNA
with a taller protein.
Like steak? No, I'm vegan.
I don't eat steak.
Are you aware that the
beef industry is responsible for
over 30% if carbon dioxide
in the atmosphere?
Or is it carbon monoxide?
Blip-Blop, which is the bad one?
No, not at all like steak.
Oh. Great.
I mean, of course,
it's a very complicated process.
To clone me? Sure.
But two Neils. I like it.
Do it, now. Blip-Blop,
make him do it now.
Sorry.
I don't understand.
Aah!
DNA. You were talking.
I rudely interrupted. Go!
Look, it's risky.
I've done it before,
but I've never quite got
the sequencing right...
[ Echoing ] Sequencing right.
Sequencing right.
Sequencing right.
[ Beeping ]
Whoa! Damn! It worked.
Yes!
Ignore me now, women.
Toss me the rock.
Wait a minute.
I'm the ball?
What you say goes unheard.
Why didn't everybody
just buy a ball?
I call upon the power
of Grayskull...
Don't do this.
...to dunk on Meatwad's ass.
Please don't do this.
Vanilla Wonder!
Oh, this sucks.
[ Slurp ]
Aah! Oh!
Shit, man,
I got the splice wrong.
[ Chuckling ] Whoa!
Look at your leg, dude.
That is graphic
and funny.
Foul! Charging on Carl!
Huge, huge side effects.
I need more research,
more experiments.
But, in theory,
it should work.
Well, maybe we
can make that happen.
You down in I.T.,
rotting away?
Been there a few months, been
crushing it, if I say so myself.
Well, now you're
up here with me,
making me taller.
Let me show you the operation.
This is it, the Llama Dolly.
The Llama-dama-ding-dong!
It's my bitching house
and nothing more,
regardless of what anyone
or Elon Musk says.
Well, you know, down in I.T.,
they said it might be, uh...
...you know...
spaceship.
Spaceship?
That's a boldface lie.
Who told you that?
What are their names?
Oh, I don't remember.
I just heard it around
the coffee machine.
Well, that could narrow it down,
because not everybody
drinks coffee.
Blip-Blop, establish
cross-referencing database
of everyone who works in I.T.
with everyone who drinks coffee.
You're talking to your hand,
Neil.
I mean, you threw your phone.
Remember?
[ Laughs ] Wow!
Talking back on day one.
You have your own opinions.
You're not afraid to
speak your mind. I like it.
But what I say into my hand
is none of your business.
Sorry, man.
Won't happen again.
No, it will not.
Scratch that database.
This is my hand,
as we both know.
Hanging up now.
And here's
my fulfillment center,
run entirely by Fraptackulans
and Japangaloids.
They traveled the galaxy for the
opportunity to work here.
I thought those two races
hated each other.
They're mortal enemies,
but at Amazin',
we're all one big happy family,
right, guys?
If I slip on your
Japangaloid slime one more time,
I'm speaking to
your supervisor.
Ha ha! I am the supervisor,
Crap-tackulan.
It is "Fraptackulan"
with an "F,"
not "Craptackulan"
with a "C."
And you know that.
How's that feel?
You wanna go?!
You like that, crap-man?!
There they go again. Blip-Blop,
release the sub-mist.
Weird. The hand works. Wow.
I'm so sorry, man.
Oh, no.
Your skin came off
when I hugged you.
It's cool.
I molt like three times a day.
All good. No worries.
Is that sub-mist legal?
Sure smells good.
It's like Xanax,
but it's free.
People take that. Is that legal?
So many questions.
My hiding machine -- in pieces!
It's ruined!
And this is Elmer,
my head of R&D,
Elmer is the gaping asshole
who thought that machine
was gonna make me taller,
instead of making me madder.
Sentient French-fried potatoes?
You're floating. How?
Whoa! Okay, okay.
Easy, now, man.
Is this jewel decorative or does
it serve practical purposes?
Okay. Down, boy.
[ Laughs ]
Elmer's pretty bright,
just not socially stable.
Don't you agree, Elmer,
that you're sweaty?
What is this?
Oh, that's peanut oil.
Of course.
Aah!
Sorry, man.
I-I said back off.
Light amplified by stimulated
emissions of radiation?
We all know
what a laser is, Elmer.
Martin Landau shot them
frequently
on the moon base
in "Space: 1999."
What are you growing there?
Walk vines.
Come to me.
Vines?
Show these men
what I've been working on.
Why won't you come to me?
I'm a friend.
You can open up to me.
Yeah, he's trying to
teach the vines
to respond to
verbal commands.
I'll start.
How is your day going?
But it ain't happening,
is it, Elmer?
They're being
passive-aggressive.
They refuse to learn.
And they're just plants, though.
Bad vines!
Listen, Elmer,
I have to cancel dinner tonight.
Something came up.
Phoenix, what do you have
going on tonight for dinner?
Elmer just canceled.
You said something came up.
Yeah, that's what I told you.
I'm telling my new friend
something else, Elmer.
I suppose
I'm free tonight.
Dinner, me, you, my house,
the Llama-dama-ding-dong!
Tonight,
it's going down!
You'll eat with me,
won't you, my seedlings?
I've prepared a hot meal,
a fertilizer feast.
What do you mean, "Did this come
out of your butt?"
Of course it came from my butt.
You know,
you liked it yesterday,
so I'm not sure what
the big kick is here.
And now for a little me time.
Ooh! There we go.
[ Zipper opens ]
There she is. Mm!
That's right, baby.
I'm looking at you.
Carl!
Damn it!
My brother from another mother!
Long time, no see!
Hey, what are you doing
with your penis there?
You're gonna break it
if you keep doing that.
Don't look over there.
Just push through.
Wow! Did they not
mention the pool?
That's got to be
worth another 4 or 5K.
He's right.
I said Olympic-sized pool,
and it ain't on here.
Getting soft here!
The moment's passed!
I see you're still rockin'
them sweats.
Neighborhood's looking great,
by the way.
I told you me living here
would create value.
Oh, yeah, good call.
I'll meet you at the door.
[ Doorbell ringing rapidly ]
What?
Bring it in,
Carlito's Way.
Oh, you reek.
No, no, no.
We're not hugging here.
Make it quick,
and then I'm calling the cops.
Oh, whoa.
That is hurtful.
I just wanted to check in
and see how you're doing.
You know.
No.
And I don't feel comfortable
under that bridge.
No. Get your foot
out of there.
No! No! Get --
Okay, look, before you say no,
all I need is the three S's --
shower, shit, and a sundae
with hot fudge.
Don't you feel this, bro?
Mmm! With me here,
it's a hang.
Alright,
let's cut to the chase.
You want to crash here
for free?
Just a few months, Carl.
It's so tough out there
for guys like me
who don't want to have
anything to do with work.
Don't --
Don't cry here.
I know we got shared history
here. I ain't forgotten.
I can probably make one room
available to you.
It's a real cozy starter home.
Bigger than it looks, too.
And look at that, huh?
It's got new windows put in.
So, we gonna just put it
right in the living room or...?
No, no, no.
We'll keep it back here
where no one from the road
can see you.
And don't you even
look at that pool.
And where am I
going to shave?
Hey, this is what
I'm offering.
If you don't like it,
you live with the Fry man.
[ Ominous music plays ]
Frylock is dead to me.
I'll never speak with him again,
but I might want to
troll him via text,
so I'd need
his new cell number.
Do you have it?
What up, Neil?
No, that sucks. Hey, Neil.
I-I made my famous
strawberry shortcake.
Short. Damn it. He'll think
I'm making fun of him.
Stupid! Why didn't
I just bring wine?
Nice jewel, French fry.
It'd look a lot nicer
around my neck.
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
See you later.
[ Doorbell buzzing ]
It ain't a compliment.
I want it.
Yeah, hash brown.
Neil, Neil,
come on. Open the door.
Neil! Help. Help!
Get your ass over here.
[ Laughs ]
Stab, stabby, stab.
There it is.
Hyah! Get out of here,
street toughs!
Phoenix, no!
Oh, come on. Come on.
Frickin' lotionless.
[ Shudders ]

Aw, man.
I bet it's cold out there.
[ Sighs ]
Damn it.
[ Laughs ]
Fire! Fire! Fire!
Stop, drop, and roll!
I'm like if the
Impractical Jokers had balls.
What kind of joke
is that?
Good one, Carl.
[ Gasps ] What happened?
It's okay. You're okay, Phoenix.
Don't get up.
Cut, clarity, color.
The geometry is perfect.
My jewel. No, no.
It shouldn't be detached.
I need that back.
Who would do this?
We're investigating.
They left a clue.
Strawberry shortcake.
They obviously came
to make fun of me.
Is that my box?
It's ripped to shreds!
I'm disfigured!
[ Crying ] Oh, my God.
Look, I know
this was traumatic,
but I have creepy Elmer
working on this
and all of the resources
of my incredible company.
Soon, you'll be a Phoenix
rising from the ashes.
And not just that hot,
dry city in Arizona.
Uh, no, thanks. I don't need to
go right now, man.
It's not a bedpan.
It's your new box that Neil
made me make for you.
It's made of brotanium,
the lightest-yet-strongest
material known to man.
Look it up.
It's stronger than anything
in the MCU,
even stronger than vibranium,
which we're allowed to say
but not show.
Damn! For real?
It's devised by Elmer
but named by me,
because Elmernesium
is a dumb name.
Don't we agree on that?
Yep.
You're right 'cause you're
the boss and everything.
I, like, suck.
Here, let's see if it fits
around your brains.
Hell yeah!
[ Bird screeches ]
[ Sniffs ]
I got these pits smelling
lemony-citrus
and dishwasher-safe.
And now, time to activate
the gravy.
Oh. Yeah.
Mmm! Mmm!
[ Dogs barking ]
Fish and egg and cheddar?
Whoda thunk
they'd go well together?
I'll tell you who.
The dogs here.
Uh-oh. Oh, hey, Liz!
So you are sleeping here.
I'm not sleeping here
during the day.
Come on, girl.
Just at nighttime.
I'm sorry, Meatwad.
We're a charity, but our charity
only extends so far.
How far?
Aah!
Ugh! That's pretty far.
You got you a good arm, Liz.
Good luck, Meatwad!
Please do not come back!
I'm adding a really cool
bonus room, Carl.
Hey, maybe I'll invite you over
for some air hockey later.
Yeah. No, thanks.
Meat man. What's up?
Hey, Carl.
How you doing?
He's doing fine.
Can I help you?
I was talking to Carl.
And now you're talking to me.
And I'm here to tell you
there is no room at the inn,
so just roll along, now.
Bye-bye.
Shake, come on, man.
Relax. We'll break ground
on another condo.
You mean it, a place
of my very own?
Just got another house
in the mail.
Look, at this.
12 bedrooms.
Wow.
Or you knock down these walls,
opens up the whole flow.
Damn, Carl,
you're a real prince.
Something's different with you,
man.
I ain't never seen you
so not pissed off at the world.
You noticed that?
I used to sleep with my
hands balled in fists of rage.
My knuckles were sore
from my angry dreams...
because I lived
next to you.
And now I got
a better outlook on life,
'cause I'm about to
get paid, son.
[ Laughs ]

That's our old house,
ain't it?
Yeah, that's where I barely
let you live.
Who's ordering stuff
over here?
Yeah, and laying those boxes
down in perfect rows.
Like so many
ears of corn.
Yeah, I already went through
them. They're all pretty empty.
You grab what you want.
But these ain't
addressed to you.
And, yet, I received them.
Alright, look,
here at Carl Acres,
taxes are pretty high.
And they're assessed
weekly -- cash.
[ Laughs ] A property tax?
I took to the road
so I didn't have to
deal with
such responsibilities.
Look, I don't know
what to tell you.
Home ownership is a very
important part of owning a home.
I hear that.
Now, if you're
gonna live here,
you're gonna follow my rules
and you're gonna earn.
Okay, the sauna detoxifies,
and the ice bath
freezes the toxins.
Whoo, it's cold!
Give me one more.
I'm not helping.
You got this.
[ Grunts ]
Whoo!
Hey, down low.
Oh, okay.
Now back to the sauna,
but only for a second,
then the ice bath again,
and then the sauna again.
Are we allowed
to use soap or...?
Yes, but the soap is
infused with scorpions.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes
you -- I don't remember.
Quickly, bathe like I do.
I look crazy, man.
See?
The crazier you look,
the smarter Wall Street
thinks you are.
Ow. Ow, ow.
The venom glands
of the scorpion,
they release toxins.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah.
And do you know what
that means?
Back to the sauna?
Yes.
To detoxify.
You're learning, Phoenix.
Aah!
Ooh! Ooh!
Yeah.
It's my private discotheque.
I don't even know why I own it.
You're the first person I've
ever allowed to dance in here.
You're pretty good.
You're a good dancer,
too, Neil.
[ Roars ]
Albino Bengal tiger.
There's only eight of them
in the civilized world.
And now there's seven.
Whoa! Neil, what the fuck?!
Uh, I'm sorry.
Why did you do that?
Did you not think that was cool,
me showcasing my power?
Hell, no,
that's not cool, man.
Oh, I am so sorry, Phoenix.
Please forgive me.
I never valued
anyone's opinion before
because mine
were so great.
I'm just feeling
this vibe with us, man.
It's okay, Neil.
It makes me crazy.
I'm feeling the vibe, too.
But what about your tiger?
Should we help
your tiger now?
I don't know.
What do you think?
See?
I asked your opinion.
No more tiger shooting
because of what you said.
My friend.
Wait. Hold on.
[ Muffled shouting ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Steam hisses ]
Yes. It's stable.
It's holding.
Uh, my ankle's weakening!
[ Cracking ]
[ Laughs ]
Wrong again.
So sorry, Neil.
We're close. I know it.
Hey, get back to the warehouse
and work.
But how?
I don't know, but those boxes
don't deliver themselves.
[ Groans ]
Not yet anyway.
[ Laughs ]
Elmer!
Never open your mouth unless you
have something smart to say!
Only Phoenix is the smart one!
Guess I don't know
what I'm talking about,
even though I constantly know
what I'm talking about.
Neil, I just want
to thank you, man,
for putting
your faith in me.
For the first time
in my life,
I feel valued,
respected, actually liked.
I feel like
I have a friend.
You do have
a friend, Phoenix.
An amazin' friend.
[ Squeaking ]
Here at Amazin',
we have amazin' products,
amazin' deliveries,
amazin' employees,
and amazin' employee bathrooms.
Whoa! Was that Frylock?
And despite
what the media says,
no one is forced to urinate
in a bottle
unless they want to,
which they can
because it's their God-given
right, and we support that.
Right, Llama Dolly?
[ Ding ]
When you get your
Amazin' shipment, you'll say...
All: It's Amazin'!
Dorks. And that's where
we're working tonight,
earning your keep.
I hear it's fun over there.
I miss being part
of a team.
Y'all remember
Aqua Teen?
No, we ain't working for that
Neil bloodsucker.
Half his employees are on
food stamps, pissing in bottles.
Yeah, my cousin's a teamster,
told me all about it.
And he's hiring us to visit
with Amazin' employees
and show them the benefits
of being in a union.
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
Carl, what are you doing?
Smashing a window.
[ Laughs ]
And then we put these
pro-union leaflets
inside the smashed windows?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We're like influencers.
And this pipe
is our social media.
Sorry about your tire.
Join a union.
[ Grunts ]
Did we already
do this one?
Oh, are you kidding me?
Someone double-booked
the event?
Look at this.
They missed the taillights.
Amateurs.
Please don't, sir, okay?
Those gentleman over there
already spoke to me
about not joining the union.
Okay, fine!
I like my shitty wages!
Goons
hired by the company.
No, we're goons hired
to show you
the benefits
of joining a union
so actions like this
would stop.
Would the union give us
enough money
to find a decent place to live
that isn't a car?
You ain't got nowheres
to live?
Friends,
we did not come here by choice.
Many moltons ago,
our home planet of Japango
was a paradise,
until Neil arrived.
He offered us good jobs on Earth
with low pay and zero benefits.
Well, that certainly
didn't add up.
Want to set your own hours
and make six figures
working from home?
Of course you don't.
You're too lazy to want success.
Come work for me,
where I dictate the terms.
Of course we refused him.
So he pushed our planet
closer to our sun,
cackling as our crops burned and
our slime reservoirs evaporated.
So come on, gang,
who wants to be part of
the Amazin' success story?
You do.
So let's roll up our sleeves
and get down to business,
or you're dead.
We will never surrender
to you, Neil.
And then he released
the sub-mist.
Sounds like a plan, Neil.
When do we start?
We boarded
the Llama Dolly en masse
after paying Neil's ridiculous
moving charges
and resettlement fees.
The whole trip to Earth
was a blur.
And now we're wedged
in a warehouse,
elbow-to-elbow with
Craptackulans
Not to be racist, but they're
the shittiest race in space.
Oh, go blow it out
your bing-bong hole!
The bing-bong hole
is not for waste.
It's a pleasure center
and nutrient port.
I wouldn't touch you
with his moisture prongs.
Keep molting
all over the parking lot.
Not even the rats
will eat it,
'cause you're nasty!
If my ankle weren't
so rubbery,
I would give you
such a kick!
Show me what you got!
You would have a big bruise.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You got to get
over your differences
and work together here.
Union can get you good wages,
medical care
for whatever that is making your
skin come off in big hunks
and making you...
Are you ejaculating, like,
all over your body?
Weak ankles, huh?
Man, I've been there.
Don't.
I used to dominate these streets
with the round ball,
then I blew out
my one thick ankle.
Stop, please.
Thanks to French fry's
little experiment.
Ow, don't.
Wait. French fry?
Floating box of French fries?
You know Meatwad?
You know Frylock?
Sorry. I'm dizzy.
Mm-hmm. We've seen him.
His name is Phoenix.
He works
in the Llama Dolly.
He's the one
who maimed me.
And he's good friends
with that asshole Neil.
He calls himself Phoenix now?
[ Laughs ]
What kind of name
is Phoenix?
Call him Franklin
French Frylock.
That's his Christian name.
Call him that.
Oh, he hates it.
Of course
Frylock's an asshole.
I lived with the man
for 15 years.
He took care
of everything.
Then he didn't give me
an ounce of credit.
Yeah, well, the Frylock I know
cares about people.
No, he doesn't.
He's not like Carl.
Carl gave us homes, dignity,
a place to hang our hats.
Right, Carl?
Whoa, you ain't coming in here.
No, I know that. I have a house
of my own, thanks to you.
And you need to relocate it
because I don't want
the grass getting brown
underneath.
I'm watering tonight.
Got to keep this lush
and green for the open house.
[ Laughs ]
Hope you got flood insurance.
[ Laughs ]
Aw, man.
I got to shut the bay window.
My Foosball table!
Between you and me,
I'm thinking of moving.
Don't you move into my
neighborhood with your riffraff.
And, uh, what's up
with the lawn?
Are we ever gonna mow that?
'Cause it's spilling over
onto my property line.
I won't ask you again,
sir.
I was about to tell you
the same thing.
We have us a covenant here.
You got to keep with it.
I'll get you written up.
Well, mine
is grandfathered in,
but I'm afraid you're gonna
need to apply for a variance
for all this overgrown brush
you seem to relish in.
It's got my hand!
Meatwad, help!
Form of a hot dog.
Form of an igloo.
Meatwad!
It don't respond to hot dogs
or igloos.
Form into
a frickin' Weedwacker!
Let me in, Carl!
Let me in!
Oh, no, Err,
the movie's hanging up.
[ Laughs evilly ]
How ever will they defeat
these mysterious plants?
They'll never know.
That's right.
You won't, stupid viewer,
because we just dragged
the next scene to the trash.
It's gone, sucker.
Seven-plus minutes
of edge-of-your-seat,
marginally animated
bone-throttling action
deleted.
Gone forever. Ha ha ha!
Empty trash, Err.
It's still in there.
Okay.
Gone-a-wrong-a-tong.
Oh, do you want to
resume watching
without the crucial information
we destroyed
right in front
of your face?
Dumbass.
You won't understand.
You may as well be
watching "Tenet."
You'll have to rent it again
if you can afford it.
Good one, Err.
Implying they're poor.
Impoverish-o.
We'll let the movie
continue.
But watch your back.
[ Fast-forwarding ]
Damn, man. Them plants chased us
all the way to Berlin,
Reykjavik, and frickin'
Venice, Italy.
But why?
And that key that
the spy gave us,
who we ended up finding dead
in your hotel room.
How does it all connect?
You got to admit, though,
that was
a pretty exciting chase.
Yeah, it was.
Where did those frickin' plants
come from?
Why do you think
I would know?
Frylock's the one who does
the science stuff.
You want me
to text him?
He gave you his number?!
When I asked,
he gave me the finger.
We're back.
You're welcome.
That's right,
stupid viewer.
We deleted
this next scene, too.
Forever.
You'll never see it
'cause it's gone.
It sucked so hard
that I think
we should have
made them watch it.
Yes, it is a slow scene.
They take in
some Renaissance art
and fly back home
in real time.
It really added nothing
productive to the story.
Yeah, it's like watching
"The Irishman" on a loop, man.
Well, someone
is a film buff.
Got a problem with that?
The onion peels.
So what? I like movies.
Well, it's just -- it's just
very hard to disrupt the movie
when you want to
constantly watch it, Err.
You can see how
the optics are bad.
Yeah, I know.
We should work together here.
Okay.
Being assholes to the viewer,
not to each other.
I'm not debating you.
Let's just watch the movie.
Press "play."
We really need to get out
of here sometime tonight.
Computer,
play the movie.
Moment of truth, Neil.
Ready to do this?
Are the ankles gonna perform
like overcooked pasta noodles?
No, because I re-coded
the sequence.
[ Beep ]
I'm splicing in DNA
from this giraffe
and retired NBA legend
Shawn Kemp.
You're doing what?
You said I was coming up here
to sign autographs for the kids.
[ Sub-mist hissing ]
Yeah, what she said.
Making him tall sounds so good.
I'm gonna do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Make me tall like him.
This will never work, Neil.
I've done the calculations.
And you tried to stretch me
like a balloon animal, Elmer.
Phoenix knows
what he's doing, unlike you.
You ready to do this?
[ Beeping ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Triumphant music playing ]
[ Knocking ]
The shinbones are hard.
It's working. He's beautiful.
Alright, so,
how do I become this?
It's not how
you become this.
It's how I become you.
Well, you wouldn't be happening
if it wasn't for me.
I'm me.
I'm happening.

Kemp: Wait, wait, hold up!
You want your autogr-a-a-aph?!
Hold on, now. Hang on there.
You're just a prototype.
You listen to Neil.
He's in charge.
I know. I'm Neil.
I'm in charge.
No, I'm Neil.
I'm in charge.
Make him stop picking me up,
Phoenix, or you're fired.
Help me get him in this box,
Phoenix, or you're fired.
Neil, Neil,
look, I'm sorry.
I didn't think
this was gonna happen, man.
Both: Which Neil
are you talking to?
I'll help you, Neil.
Which Neil
are you talking to?
The bigger one.
Elmer, betrayer!
You Judas!
Which Neil were you apologizing
to back there, Phoenix?
Help!
Well, you, of course, Big Neil,
obviously.
Please! Anybody!
So should we put some air holes
in that box?
Let me out!
Sure. Put one.
4'2"? Fuck that.
Go to the DMV and change this
to 11-foot-fucking-3.
Neil, I'm so sorry.
Give me some time.
I'll get you out.
Ooh, whoops.
Ow! My eye socket!
Sorry about the drill.
Alright,
let's get some shit going.
French fry,
you're my new head of R&D.
But that's my job.
Elmer, you're my new senior VP
in charge of suckling my dong!
But I helped you.
I betrayed my best friend.
Get down on it
like a drumstick
falling off the bone.
Can I get some kneepads?
I'm a person.
Oh, my God. Get off the floor.
Don't mean literally, Elmer.
Oh!
So funny you thought literally.
I was just continuing the joke.
This isn't even a gun.
Hey, uh, sorry, y'all.
I kind of need to take this.
The fuck do you want?!
Hey, did you get my texts?
Yeah, man, I got 'em.
I got a snowman, a flip-flop,
and a stack of pancakes!
Yeah.
They're pretty funny.
Well, I didn't wanna bug ya, but
I did wanna get your attention.
-Tell him you're sick!
-'Cause I'm sick.
Just take an aspirin.
I'm sure you're fine.
You're a damn wad of meat, okay?
Is that all?
That's it. I love you, Frylock.
Have a good one.
Ow! I mean, hold on.
Tell him
you have foot cancer.
-I got me foot cancer.
-You ain't got no feet.
Not anymore.
On account of the cancer.
You got tumors.
I got me tumors.
Hair loss.
And hair loss.
And, uh, it burns
when you pee. Say that.
What? That's a thing?
Oh, you better believe it.
It's called syphilis.
I have it now.
I got me ensniffilus.
Sniffa-lufagus.
Sniffa-luffalus.
[ Sighs ] Where you staying?
I'll come to you.
Remember our old crib?
I'm next door,
crashing with Carl.
And he pretty fun
when he's sober,
but he's a very angry person
when he drinks,
which is most of the time.
Ow! Damn it.
Shake ain't over there,
right? 'Cause you know
I don't want to see him.
If he's there, you
tell him to take a walk, okay?
Well, you tell him
that he sucks it hard!
Tell him.
'Cause he does.
Oh, I'll keep Shake's
dumb ass away from ya.
[ Beep ]
When I tell you
to say something,
you repeat it like
the puppet you are!
And did you hang up?
'Cause I don't want him
to hear me abusing you.
Feel my forehead.
Y'all, I think I have
snuffleuffagus.
You need to deal
with something?
Yeah, I'm afraid I do.
Look, I may be the same as
teensy-weensy Neil, genetically,
but I'm way taller.
Let me out!
Wait. What's he saying?
And I'm way more compassionate.
That's not true!
Take my limo, Phoenix.
Aah! Aah!
Man in the box!
How do we call
your limo?!
[ Thud, screaming stops ]
[ Laughs ] I guess he passed
out. I shook it too hard.
Never mind. That's -- I see
his limo. Thanks. Thanks, Neil.
No, no.
Please call me Big Neil.
Okay. Thank you.
Thank you so much. Big Neil.
He's in an awful hurry. Why?
It's his pathetic friends.
Carl: You can't just steal shit
off people's porches, Cup.
You got to slink down
like a worm.
Come at it from the side so
the camera don't get ya.
We pulled this footage off
of some of your amazin'
Ring-Dong
doorbell cameras.
Another empty one?
What are these guys
ordering? Oxygen?!
Lower your voice.
That goes for me, too.
Or they'll use this
in court.
He hangs out
with these goons?
Look at them. Nothing more
than porch pirates.
And they're about to
become plant food.
My plan.
I came up with it, not Phoenix.
Okay, what are you
talking about?
Fill me in, okay?
I'm obviously new in town.
Fill him in, Lance.
Lance is my new associate.
[ Shrieks ]
He's still
learning English.
[ Shrieks ]
That was a vowel sound,
I believe.
Okay, Elmer.
How about you just
give me the broad strokes.
[ Shrieks ]
Meatwad:
What you looking at?
Well, it's something,
alright.
So you don't know
what it is, neither.
No. Do you? Ahh.
Say no. We're even. Touch.
I know what it is.
Never mind. I was bluffing,
trying to act smart.
I do know what it is,
but I'm not saying it
'cause it would blow
your little minds.
We'll get Frylock in to look at
it to confirm my discovery.
Ooh, he gonna be pissed
when he sees I ain't sick.
Just roll around, fake-cough
when he gets here.
[ Coughing ] "I'm sick."
It'll work.
That's how I skipped school
all the time.
But then they put me in a home
for like three years.
I couldn't cough
my way out of that one.
That won't work on Frylock.
He's a scientist.
You have to be a little more
sophisticated.
Now, when Frylock gets here,
you're gonna throw
this wig around.
This is your hair loss
from foot cancer.
Alright, now, look.
Be very careful with this.
I got this off eBay
from Dave Mustaine's barber.
What is the goal here?
This thing, Aqua Teen.
We're in this for life.
No one just walks away
from Aqua Teen. No one!
Does this tattoo mean
nothing to you?
"Aqua Teen Forever."
But this here says
"Aqua Teen Never."
Do you want to get
kicked out of Aqua Teen?!
'Cause I'll do it!
I will blackball your ass!

I'm me. I'm happening.
Get down on it
like a drumstick.
[ Echoing ] Suckling my dong!
Frylock: Keep it running.
Hello?!
F-lock! My man!
Gimme a hug, big'un.
That metal box
is looking tight.
Tight like prom night.
[ Giggles ] I still
don't know what that means.
No wonder you're sick,
hanging out over here.
This place is filled with
asbestos. You know that, right?
Yeah, I'm --
[ Coughing ]
I'm --
I'm very sick.
Hm. 43 degrees.
Well, it's normal
for you.
Is this spray paint?!
Who painted you white?!
It was I
who painted him.
Finally, some credit.
You're looking well,
Franklin French Frylock.
The new box looks,
mm, aerodynamic.
It won't get you laid.
Ask some stuff about me now.
Oh, so that's what
this was about, huh?
Getting me over here
to ask some stuff about you.
'Cause it's always
about you, isn't it?
No, we worried about you,
Frylock,
working at Amazin'.
That place is bad, man.
Show him the thing.
I know what this is,
"Frylick,"
and if I wanted your second
opinion, I'd ask for it.
So what do you think it is?
Not that I'm asking.
Where'd you get all
these boxes? 'Cause
I know you didn't order it.
I borrowed them
off people's porches!
But why would your company
be delivering boxes
to places
where there are no people?
And usually, there's
cool shit inside the box
and stuff that I can fence
or flip online.
These was all empty.
And two of them boxes
turned into plants,
almost killed Shake.
He's right, dude.
I don't give a shit
what's in those boxes.
I'm done taking orders
from you, Shake,
having your ass leech on me,
weigh me down. I'm out!
Don't you walk out on us without
leaving your phone number.
Frylock!
I want to block it to make sure
I don't dial it,
not even accidentally
with my butt.
Back to Amazin', please.
Hang on, hang on. Hold up.
This is Dave Mustaine's
actual hair.
I got a certificate
of authenticity.
I need you to clone
him so Megadeth can
live forever, right?
[ Tires squeal ]
Come on, Fry man!
I got to budget
for this!
Well, congratulations,
Meatwad.
You chased him away!
I vote yes to the union
for guaranteed vacation time
away from you and the rest
of your pork-rind covered race!
I'm voting yes, as well,
so you stupid Japangaloids
get decent access
to birth control
and stop pumping out your stupid
slime-brained offspring!
Guys, we need to
vote no on the union.
Come on,
let's not rock the boat.
I got a good thing
going here.
Sleeping in our
shitty Earth cars?
Suckle more from
the mist pipe, you sheep.
Get off me!
You slime sheep!
Let me go!
Good luck voting
with broken bing-bongs, bitch!
Jeff: I'm afraid
they have the votes, Big Neil.
They can go union.
Ah, but I have the mist.
Frylock: [ Clears throat ]
You know, I really think
that using the mist
is not super-woke.
Right, Other Neil?
What?!
I mean, is it consistent
with our corporate values?
Other Neil: Yes. Use the mist!
That's why we created it!
I'll consult
with Other Neil
if I ever decide to
short the stock.
[ Laughter ]
Get it, everyone?
Right, His Holiness?
He's small?
Ha! Yeah. Small.
But the mist is bad.
PR-wise, I mean, right?
I own all the newspapers,
Phoenix, and no one reads them.
Deploy the mist.
[ Hissing ]
Yep,
It's 4:20 somewhere.
Attention, Japangaloids
and Fraptackulans.
You seek a living wage,
and perhaps you shall have it
in your new job,
which will not be here
because you're all fired,
effective immediately.
I don't want to see any
Japangaloid slime or
Fraptackulan shells
left behind.
Have an amazin' day.
That is all.
What?!
But who's gonna work the line,
load the warehouses,
deliver the packages?!
Wait'll you see this shit.
Elmer?
As part of our
zero-carbon-emission policy,
all non-critical personnel
will be replaced
by plant-based labor.
Big Neil's Green New Deal.
They're all part of one plant,
all branches of
one photosynthetic vine.
They don't need
vacations or dental
and they don't give a shit
about what pronoun you use
when you tell them
what to do.
How are they --
Walking on their own?
Notice how,
in the nourishing sunlight,
the seeds give off
a blue glint.
Jewel dust.
My Jewel of Idahocales!
You're synthesizing it!
And much like
it powers your potatoes,
it will now power
our workforce.
Biodegradable packaging
made entirely of seeds.
Earth first.
Shake was right.
Look, buddy, this is for the
good of our planet.
but it's also
really good for me.
So you had me mugged.
This was a setup
this whole time!
[ Thunder crashes ]
If we told you our plan,
you think you would have agreed?
All those ice baths, dancing
to the beat in the discotheque.
You didn't feel the vibe at all,
did you?
Other Neil:
I never felt "the vibe."
You had what I needed,
and I took it from you.
Now let's unlock this box
and shake hands on this.
No, we're not
unlocking the box.
Other Neil:
Unlock the box. He needs to see
my face when I say that.
Don't unlock the box.
Other Neil: Come on, man!
Oh, I'll shake
something, alright.
But it ain't
gonna be your hand!
Y'all suck worse
than my last roommates!
Where you going, Phoenix?
It's Frylock, bitch.
And I'm going to save
my real friends.
Aqua Teen Forever!

[ Screaming ]
[ Tires screeching ]
[ Growling ]
[ Thunder crashes ]
This air-hockey table
sucks.
Aaaah!
Help!
You sumbitchin' plants.
Take your hands
off my Eli bobblehead!
That's a collector's edition!
Let us in! Please!
No!
I'm a person!
I'm not just a bobblehead!
You're making them grow
towards me!
Have some humanity!
Open the door.
-Frylock!
-Frylock!
Keep that straw
on a swivel, Shake.
It's time to nip
some plants in the bud.
Oh, I hate doing yard work!
That's why you hire people
to do it.
[ Plants growling ]
[ Leaf blower whirring ]
Frylock: Just bend over
and pick it up!
I'm drying it
so it'll move easier, okay?
And then I'm gonna
chase it down,
I'm gonna light it on fire!
[ Grunting ]
There's too many of them!

[ Heavy metal music playing ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Tires squeal ]
Carl: Hop in.
If you wanna live.
Meatwad: Shotgun!
Shake: Unh-unh! Shotgun.
I called it!
-No. I called it first.
-But I was thinking about it,
and it's been on my mind
for a long time.
How'd a plant
get a gun?
Carl, we got to
get above the tree line,
where the plants won't grow!
Well, there's only one point
in New Jersey that high --
Used Babywipe Mountain.
Shake:
Oh, anywhere but there!
This is gonna
result in a massive lawsuit,
and then I'm gonna
have to pretend to care.
So I want you to take all of
the pesticide and lawn equipment
out from the warehouse
and kill yourselves right now.
[ Shrieking ]
I don't know
what to tell you, Neil.
He's still learning English.
I don't want to work backward
here, but what if we bring in
people again?
Where's Fry-- Phoenix --
Whatever. I need his help.
Why him? I can do
everything he does
except for float
and the eye lasers.
And also, he's a little
smarter than me.
And he's made of potatoes.
But other than that,
we're the same.
No. Frylock still works here.
But Elmer is fired.
Fine. It's time for me
to branch out anyway...
weed out some problems
I'm having...
[ Slurping ]
...turn over a new leaf,
as it were.
Elmer, get off the ground,
ya dork. You look stupid.
Please call me Elm.
The Elmanator.
Your botanical nightmare!
Who's tall now, Neil?
I want you out of the building.
Security!
[ Growling ]
And, of course,
you're plants, too.
A judgy vegan stands
before you.
He subsists
on your brethren.
Seize him
and eat him raw.
I'm only running away
because I have to pee so bad.
[ Whirring ]
See? What'd I tell you?
It is a spaceship.
I was the one
that told you about this.
Why does nobody
listen to me?
Ugh!
Ow!
May the forest
be with you.
[ Plants screeching ]
Hey, y'all. Look what I got
at the gift shop.
There's no gift shop here. You
stole that from the mountain.
You know, I'm glad they finally
made this a national monument.
Come try to knock this down,
Muslim extremists!
See what you get!
"I cannot
in good con-science..."
Conscience.
"...continue to work
for a monster."
This is your big plan?!
No, I'm texting
my resignation letter.
I told you Amazin' was bad.
Didn't I say that?
And I said something
was weird about the boxes.
And I was right,
wasn't I?
You're right
one time in 20 years,
and you think you invented
being right.
And who came to the rescue?
Not you, Frylock.
No, no!
It was Carl, the greaseball
marinara-stain cafone
from next door.
Hey!
The ubatz gabagool.
I'm a proud half-Italian.
I'm not gonna stand here
and allow you
to screw up that slur.
Mamma mia.
Italians...
You can't end a sentence
with "gabagool"!
It's grammatically
incorrect!
Break it up, y'all.
Break it up.
We got to work together
so Frylock
can figure out
how Frylock's gonna solve
this mess that Frylock
also got us into.
You admit that at least,
right, Frylock?
Everybody just shut up
so I can think!
Well, since he obviously
didn't have an exit strategy,
I guess I'm gonna
have to roll out my plan.
Operation Master Shake and Bake.

Blueprints of the Pentagon,
gentlemen.
The basement houses over 30 tons
of thermite plasma,
according to a pretty accurate
movie trailer I saw.
We transport it over here
to this Air Force base, which --
There's got to be one, right?
And karate our ways
past the guards.
See, this is me with the laser.
I'm driving a monster truck.
Now, in all likelihood, we will
not have the monster truck
for this particular operation.
But after that,
we hijack a C-130.
They call it the Fat Albert.
Hey, hey, hey!
And what are you gonna blow up
with all that thermite plasma
that doesn't even exist?
The Garden State, bitch.
Kaboom!
And Newark is a sheet of glass.
-I have a plan.
-Oh, God.
Oh, this should be good.
Someone make popcorn.
Bugs --
they like to eat plants,
especially when
I tell them to.
His plan sucks.
It's over. We're done.
Calm down, Carl.
I'm supposed to make
a mint on that house,
and now I can't even freakin'
see it under all the kudzu!
Just laser them
with your eyes or what --
What's up with
all the plans?
Because you ain't
got a plan, do ya?
Do ya?!
There is no plan!
Ohh! Look out!
[ Whirring ]
How's that for a landing?
I'm getting the hang
of this bitch.
How did you find me?
Well, I triangulated the signal
from your resignation text.
You agreed to accept cookies,
not me.
We're done, Neil.
Both Neils.
Oh, whoa, whoa, wait.
Little Neil and I
are very sorry,
and we love you very much.
Other Neil: Yeah,
I'm Sorry about earlier.
I'm feeling the vibe again.
Uh, so, look, we need you
to stop these plants.
You know how when you talk to
plants and it helps them grow?
What if we, like,
talk angry shit at them?
Like, "You fat, lazy, bald
piece of shit.
You'll never amount
to nothing!"
And then they, you know,
go cry in their room
with a lower self-esteem.
I'm just saying, that
worked on me, and, you know...
We have no plan.

Meatwad: Wait. Sunlight! Don't
plants need sunlight to survive?
How are you going to turn off
the sun, dumbass? Great plan!
No, no, no. He's right.
The -- The -- The slimy weirdo
in the parking lot.
She said Neil used the ship
to push their planet
towards the sun.
-That's right.
-Then we can use Neil's ship
to block out the sun...
with the moon.
Shake: That would work?
Cool! Okay.
So, before we all go up there
in Neil's ship,
I got to tell you, I hope
this dinner's not going to be
some of that freeze-dried
astro crap.
Shake, Shake, Shake,
we need you down here, man,
to protect the Earth.
You were always
the bravest, man.
The strongest --
-Uh, you forgot smartest.
I said you forgot smartest.
Say that one now.
Carl, Meatwad,
you stay here, too.
Oh. Whoa, hold up, Buck Rogers.
What do we do while you're
farting around in space?
Yeah, man, we just got back
together.
And I'll be back soon,
Meatwad.
And when I come back, it'll be
Aqua Teen Forever and Ever.
Alright. But before you go,
I made you a new box
out of the only box
that didn't turn into a plant.
My best friend.
Boxy Brown.
'Cause once you go Brown,
you're going downtown.
Down to clown.
[ Laughs ]
You sound different, Boxy.
I'm New Boxy.
Old Boxy got canceled, 'cause
Boxy Brown is BIPOC, fool.
Oh, I don't see color, Boxy.
You're just a box.
I'm just a what?! Bitch!
See ya!
Oh, no. Is he leaving?
He don't want the box?
Aah!
Boxy, no!
Well, I, for one,
ain't going to die
on no pile of used baby wipes,
getting macked on
by a bunch of shrubbery.
And I ain't gonna let America
get pussified, not on my watch.
Yeah!
Nowadays, you get in trouble
just because you stare and point
at certain parts
of a babe's body and go,
"Oh, yeah!"
Oh, she'll complain.
But deep down,
you know she loves it.
Don't grow big boobs,
lady!
Where is this going,
Carl?
I think you're losing
the thread.
I'm saying this country is
in desperate need of a real man.
A badass. A, yes, toxic,
masculine man like me.
Damn straight!
And this man
don't let a bunch of
Christmas trees and mistletoe
tell him what to do.
I'm about to roll down there
and stomp all them shrubs
under my V24 turbocharged
carbon footprint.
Who's with me?
Yeah! I'm in!
Let's do this.
Yeah!
Oh, gross. Now my hands
are gonna stink.
Tonight!

[ Grunts ] One!
Hot dog. Igloo. Hot dog. Igloo.
Hot dog. Igloo.
[ Tape rewinding ]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Guess who!
Did we interrupt your movie
at a pivotal juncture?
Listen up!
Don't you walk
to the bathroom on me.
Get back here and sit your two
ample buttocks right down.
Yeah, man. We're going to
fast-forward and reverse
and fast-forward and reverse
and fast--
[ Tape fast-forwarding ]
That's right. He will.
Oh, damn it.
He's a madman
and he's coked to the gills.
Yeah! I got nowhere to go
except the liquor store
before it closes.
Liquor is our guide.
Big-time!
And if you want us to stop
ruining this shambling mess
that you call entertainment...
Text us your
girlfriend's digits.
Or we shall ruin the entire
third act with our anger.
Data charges
will apply.
Your girl looks like a 4.
That's a digit.
That's right --
I'm negging her.
Any girl that looks at me
is a fucking 10, man.
How many texts, Err?
Um, none.
My phone's dead.
You will hang on while
we charge his phone.
Don't text yet. Save your text,
then text it. We'll be back.
Quickly.
You know we will.
Always keep your phone
charging, Err.
I know.
You could have had it plugged
in during my entire rant.
Okay, okay, okay, Dad.
[ Tractor engine revving ]
Carl: There we go.
Fossil fuel, baby.
[ Laughs ]
Unrenewable energy!
The hair looks good, Carl.
I wish I had enough up top
to do, like,
the true Road Warrior mohawk.
But I think the side hawks
are working.
Friggin' purple.
Mm. So silver.
Where'd y'all get
all this cool stuff?
All I got me was some
bubble wrap.
And I popped most of it.
It's fun. Listen.
[ Pop ]
Mmm! Mmm!
Engorge yourself, my seedlings.
You must grow
strong and powerful.
Feasting on their shit,
which is our food.
Rise and reclaim the planet!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Frylock: Can you not steer
better than this?
Come on, man!
I'm about to hurl over here!
These are the controls.
I don't even know how
I'm supposed to wear this.
Other Neil: It's a tuxedo,
specifically fitted to my body.
Only I can pilot the ship.
Not from inside a box
you won't.
Brace for impact!
[ Screaming ]
-Pay attention, Earth fools.
-Yeah!
Because this is when
the movie finally gets good.
This is the scene where we start
kicking their asses
for seven duets and I turn into
this giant penis.
Err, no spoilers, please.
-I see dead people!
-The viewers have eyeballs.
They can witness the
blood-soaked carnage
on their own.
Bathe in the blood
of your bitch master!
[ Groans ]
[ Coughing ]
You don't, by any chance,
know how to --
How to push the moon
in front of the sun? Hell, no.
Shoot.
Oh. Maybe I do!
No, it turns out,
I don't.
Other Neil:
Let me out of the box!
I'm the only one
who can operate the Llama!
I'm a billionaire!
What do you think I was doing
what I was supposed to be
on Earth paying taxes?
Shit. The controls
are jammed.
Err: Aloha, bitch!
[ Rumbling ]

Err:
Behold the Mechanites!
-You are very impressed.
-Check it out.
Solid gold.
Polished.
Frylock:
God damn. The Mooninites.
Ignignokt:
And don't you dare push us.
Because we have no stability
front to back.
'Cause we --
we would fall over.
Come on. Help me into this
thing. I'm gonna destroy those
little motherfuckin' Mooninites
once and for all.
The speaker
is still on
where you called us
the fucking Mooninites.
Come on, bitch!
[ Giggles ]
[ Metal creaking ]

Let him out! He's the only one
who could fit into the suit.
No, he's going to
be pissed.
Yeah, he's going to be
more pissed
when the Mechanite kills us all.
Where's the damn air lock?
I need to go out there
and fight them myself.
Other Neil: Uh,
you might want to wait on that.
Well, my box is brotanium,
the lightest yet strongest metal
outside of the MCU, right?
Other Neil: Uh, we lied.
It's aluminum foil.
Damn it! I knew it!
Sorry.
That's why I sound like thunder
when I sit down.

[ Whirring ]
Ignignokt: You stay
right where you are.
Err:
Ooh, it's gonna hurt!
Other Neil: Let me out.
Only I can help us now.
Ignignokt:
The bullet should be reaching
its final destination ASAP.
[ Explosion ]
[ Clang ]

[ Engine revs ]
Carl:
Time for me to...hit the hay!
Screw you, environment!
Shake: Looks like we got us
a real bumper crop this season!
Meatwad: You about to be
pushing daisies, plant!
Let's kick this grass
in the ass. Heh-heh.
Time to nip your ass
in the bud.
Shake:
If a tree falls in the woods,
but everyone is --
they are around to hear it,
then it will make a sound,
like you just did
as I killed you.
Kind of a long way
to go for that one.
What, yours were
so much better?
[ Tires screech ]
[ Engine revs ]
Shit. Should've paid
for all-wheel drive.
But I had to have
the subwoofer.
[ Clicking ]
Ohh!
We're all out!
Get off my lawn!
Oh, what the hell
is that?
I see we have
a little turf war.
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Aw, come on.
I got one bubble left, y'all.
Get behind me.
Cover your ears.
[ Bubble wrap pops ]
Did that do anything?
-Nothing.
-Well, we tried.
Mmm!
Fresh greenhouse gases!
There's a new world order
taking root.
[ AC/DC's "Have a Drink on Me"
plays ]
Carl:
Meat man, reach under the seat.
[ Glass clinking ]
Peach schnapps?
Crme de menthe?
Yeah, you ain't gotta
announce it. Okay?
I pound this in the strip-club
parking lot
so I can save my cash
for the lap dances.
So are we getting wasted,
or what's the plan?
My cousin taught me this.
It's how you start
an electrical fire
when you know
they got good insurance.
Everything's coming up
for roses for Elmer.
And he's about to be a...
thorn in your side.
Have a drink on me, bitch!
[ Groaning ]
Yeah!
It's happy hour, bee-yotch!
-Aaah!
-Look. Two for one.
Ladies' night, stupid.
You ever been in a bar?
Have a drink on me
This really burns me up!

[ Grunts ]
I guess I'm a late bloomer.
[ Chuckles ]
Prepare to be planted.
Six feet under,
if you know what I mean!
Meatwad: This is it.
We're going down.
I love you,
Master Shake.
I know you do.
I hear that a lot.
Lots of people
are saying it,
and you're pretty cool, too,
sometimes,
but don't get
a big head about it.
Aqua Teen Forever, y'all.
Plants!
Destroy them!

[ Horn blares ]
-Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo-hoo!
It's the Japangaloids
and the Fraptackulans!
Carl:
They're here to save us!
Can still see the sun!
Frylock!
We need you, man!
Ignignokt: Mechanite,
chug mightily
from the tall boy
of destiny.
Err: Drink it!
So that you may shower
the defeated.
Unleash the flow!
Feel the heat
of our digital whiz.
Before I open this box,
I want you to know
I'm very sorry,
but I need you
to stay calm.
No, no, no, no.
We'll have none of that.
Get me fitted.
Into my tuxedo.

That's right.
[ Grunts ] Whoa!
Abort! Abort!
Err, the whiz,
it's splashing back on us.
'Cause we need more beer, dude,
so we can, like, pee harder.
Or it could be the lack of
gravity on the moon, but...
probably not.
We'll go with your idea.
Mechanite, re-commence
the drinking!
[ Screams ]
Press the stop button!
Aah!
Stop it, stop it!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
[ Grunts ]
Time to play with dollies.
Llama Dollies.
[ Whirring ]
Put a kink in it, Err.
The dog wants more.
Err:
Let doggy combat begin!
Here, doggy, doggy.
Come here, bitch.

You wanna try that again?
Blockonomica.
Bitch, heel, sit.
Ha ha!
Unleash the slightly faster
bullets, Err.
The heat-seeking banshees.
Alright, let's see what you got,
you 8-bit piece of shit.
The onslaught begins!
Kabang, kapow, kablooey!
It's a bullet buffet.
All you can eat.
Find my center.
Hammmmm...
Take it.
You love it!
Hammmmm...
[ Err grunting ]

And four.
Ignignokt: Don't aim
the bullets straight ahead.
He avoided them!
He's jumping.
We can handle jumping.
Greased hammmm...
[ Clang ]
Impressive,
but stand by
for a massive blast
from our metal ass.
You're doing down, homey.
It takes a minute,
but it's so worth it.
[ Buzzing ]
[ Fart ]
[ Video game music playing ]
The bullet is enormous!
Bullets for dinner.
It has its own theme song.
Prepare for death.
Jumping is useless!
Other Neil: Hammmmm!
Jumping wasn't useless.
He's behind us.
Oh, no!
And he knows we have
no frontward-to-back stability.
Hey, don't push us, man.
We warned you.
Don't tell him, Err.
Aah!
Damn it.
Okay, this isn't
very interesting.
Yeah, this part
isn't any good.
So, uh, we'll fast-forward
through this boring part
so you don't have to
suffer through it.
We're doing you a favor.
Because we care
about you.
Favoronomica.
Time to redecorate space.
[ Whirring ]
[ Engines ignite ]

Glad you opened the box now?

N-o-o-o-o-o!
Meatwad: Look, y'all!
Frylock did it!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Shake: Yeah, Frylock!
[ Knives stabbing ]
[ Screams ]
Nourishing sunlight!
Life-force draining!
Man, I love to see
the leaves change in the fall.
Aaaaaah!
My frigging car! You couldn't
have pushed it over there
by that burned-out
Jamba Juice?
Shake: Frylock!
He finally came through
for once in his
pathetic existence!
Ooh. It's getting kinda cold,
ain't it?
Yeah. M-M-Maybe
not a flip-flop day.
Damn it, Frylock!
You screwed us again!
You were telling Elmer
to dump me in the river!
"Toss him off
the GW Bridge, Elmer."
I heard every word.
That's not who I am.
You know me, Neil.
I'm you.
And together we can join forces
and build a better company.
No, no, no, no, no. Too much
water under the bridge...
that you would have
thrown me off of!
[ Mist hissing ]
What am I talking about?
Come on.
Let's give it a shot.
That was smart to hit him
with the sub-mist.
Let him land the ship,
and then we ought to
dump him in the river.
[ Laughs ]
Who said that?
Sure. Let's try to
work together. I'm game.
You want your job back,
Frylock?
We can do
Amazin' things together.
Yeah. No, I don't think I'm cut
out for the corporate lifestyle.
Listen, I know you love
the environment, and so do I.
We.
We. Yes, we.
That's why I...
We.
...we have an ambitious
five-year plan to control
all the world's
drinking water.
Don't you want to be friends
with the guys
who own all the water?
You know,
so we can protect it.
That sounds terrible.
You'll wish you said yes.
Shoot him with the mist.
[ Sputtering ]
How are we
out of sub-mist?
Did someone
use this on me?
Y'all gonna have to figure out
your evil plans on your own.
I got people back home
who need me.

Eternal darkness
all for me!
Sunlight gone forever.
New Jersey is all mine!
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Shivering ]
The Garden State's
a frozen tundra.
We're no better
than Green Bay!
[ Laughs ] I hope you lowered
your asking price.
'Cause you ain't gonna get much
for Carl Acres now.
Why ain't you
f-f-freezing to death?
'Cause I'm a thicc Shake --
T-H-I-C-C!
Ice, ice, baby!
Everyone gets that reference,
right? It's rap music.
We must shelter the humanoid
inside one of our husks!
And we can warm him
with our disgusting slime.
Yeah. I-I-I w-w-would rather die
than do that. No offense.
None taken.
We are very gross.
Well, I still think
both your races are weird,
and I'd be saying atrocious shit
about your mother
if my lips
weren't completely f-frozen.
Yeah. Go for it. Start a fire.
He can't see ya.
Whoa!
That's a big fire!
[ Engines powering down ]
New Jersey!
Our tax break!
There's no city left
to offer one.
Well, look, we'll
just have to lobby
some right-to-work state
stupid enough
to give us tax incentives
to move our operations there.
Alabama?
Alabama!
Hey, guys. I --
We.
Uh, we've got
an amazing opportunity!
We're about to hire
at our Alabama location,
and we'll pay you no more than
a third of what you used to get.
So come on, gang.
Let's roll up our sleeves --
[ Neils screaming ]
Oh, oh, oh!
Ooh. D-D-Damn, son.
I'm glad you guys didn't --
didn't fall for that, though.
We may not be smart,
but we very well be very dumb!
We're very good
at being dumb.
Look, I'm sorry, y'all.
I forgot what was important
in life -- friendship.
And even though most of this
is not my fault,
I'll pretend like it was
if you'll have me back.
Oh, how I wish it were
that simple, Fry man.
But the existing Aqua Teens
will need to convene
and vote on --
Put your hands down,
Carl!
Your pits stink and you're not
an official Aqua Teen!
And, Meatwad,
you're on probation
until you pay those dues.
So we're back together?
I mean, we're cool, right?
Uh...
Your apology doesn't exactly
put food in my mouth.
Yes, food.
What shall we eat?
-I, too, am hungry.
-Yeah we're all hungry actually.
-Yes!
-Yes, we're all hungry.
I think we're all
pretty hungry.
Well, I mean,
ain't you guys made of food?
French fries, milkshake,
and he's all meat.
[ Sniffing ]
Smells really good.
Whoa. Hey, how about
a little space?
Meatwad: The Aqua Teens
are together again.
[ Crunch ]
Ow, damn it.
Mmm!
Oh, he's good, y'all!
-Eat them!
-Eat them!

You paid for
a full-length movie
and you only got
75 minutes.
Oh, man!
And that is counting
this extended credits,
which is really
just pulled out of our asses.
Yeah, man, I'm in there
like seven times.
I'm listed as
a producer twice.
They're just using that
to fill space, man,
because nobody worked
on this.
Did you think you were gonna
get an extended cut?
We're not Judd Apatow.
Look, here, here, here, here,
here, here, here, here.
Over and over and over.
Everything "Err."
And you're still watching
the extended credits.
If you were gonna
look at words,
why won't you
just read a book?
Read my book.
It's called "I Rule Your Movie."
Oh, look at the time.
You'll have to rent
something else...
Ha ha ha!
...to provide more entertainment
for your date
while you awkwardly put your arm
on her shoulder,
your jizz-shellacked paws
flaking off on her blouse
as she makes any excuse
to get away from you.
Your dick is your date.
That's right, Err.
Don't put too fine
a point on it.
We are gender-specific because
we know no women watch us.
Go on.
Find another movie.
Fill the hours
before you slowly crawl
back into your bed
alone again.
Yeah! Go get a snack. How about
a big old jug of grease?
Yes. Yes.
You have promises to keep
and pounds of grease
to eat
before you sleep...
Dumb consumer.
...alone again.

Get, get money,
get the money

Yo

Yo
Get, get money,
get the money




[ Slurping ]

Ooh, don't forget
the crispies.
There you go. Tap the bottom.
Tap, tap, tap.
There you go.
Don't want to waste one.
-That's actually very good.
-Delicious.
I feel guilty. You know,
we were neighbors once,
but, uh, hey, if you don't want
to get eaten, don't be food.
That's the way I see it.
You know, I would drink
your blood, Carl,
but, really, what I'm
in the mood for is...
ice cream!
Mmm. [ Slurping ]
Ice cream
is the life.
Shake:
I smell a sequel!
[ Hisses ]