Arranged Love (2023) Movie Script
1
[instrumental music]
[kavita] meera,
get out of the car.
[om] beta, please.
Do as your aunt says.
[kavita] you know, she's
always been like this!
Extra independent, overly
headstrong, all the time!
Well, then, you
should be used to it.
[gasps] move over.
[car door opens]
Mee...
Meera, meera, this
is a good boy.
He's studying to be a doctor.
Great! Maybe he can cure you
of your backward thinking!
Beta, why can't you just
meet with him? That's all.
Meera, we only want
what's best for you!
No, you want what's
best for you!
[scoffs] suresh, do something.
- I am switzerland, ma'am!
- I want a career.
I have dreams, so I
should get to choose.
So, choose. We've given
you so many options.
I choose me! I choose me.
No, no! No, no, no, no.
You can't marry yourself.
Why not? At least, I will
be with someone that I love.
You know, this love-jove
thing of yours...
So much for being switzerland.
What is the point of
knowing everything
About the person you
love before the marriage?
It's boring. Ask your uncle.
Do something.
- Beta...
- Come on.
- Beta listen, please.
- Meera!
[meera gasps]
God! Look at what she's done.
I want freedom.
Meera, marriage is freedom.
You will get your
inheritance and the freedom
To do whatever you want to
do after you are married.
Please, meera. I had
promised your mother
That I will see to it
that you are settled.
You know, she loved you.
She was worried
about your future.
Just meet him.
If not for me, at least for her?
[mellow music]
Okay.
Come on.
I don't care.
Just tell them, "yes."
What does it matter if I meet
them now or after the wedding?
[mellow music]
[kavita] this belonged
to your mother.
It's been passed
down for generations.
I'm sure, she would've
wanted you to wear it.
Kavita, it will take us
time to reach the venue.
- We also have to load the car.
- Yes, we'll be right back.
What should I do, suresh kaka?
The heart finds its own way.
We only need to listen.
[speaking in hindi]
[dramatic music]
[meera] dear groom, I know that
I have picked the worst time,
But it would be unfair
to you and to myself
If I let us go
through with this.
Dear aunty and uncle, I
hope you can forgive me.
[kavita] meera, why
is the door locked?
Open right now.
[intense music]
[rattling]
[groaning]
Uh...
Namaste, uncle.
Meera?
I'm sorry.
Auto!
[pensive music]
[upbeat music]
- Meera?
- How was the beta test?
Amazing, as always.
We even made a c-list celebrity
cry. It's a good thing, silly.
We wiped all her ex's
sabotage right off the web.
Everyone deserves
a second chance.
Meera. You got this.
There's a reason you're on
new york's 30 under 30 list.
Founder ceo who code their own
products don't just happen.
Silas averly won't
know what hit him.
- The tech is good, right?
- Mm-hm.
I mean, he's helped take
multiple companies go public.
Are we at that level?
He'd be crazy not to invest.
Oh, we need his investment
to get out of beta.
Hey, you think we went
too far with the sites?
No. It's personalized. These
people love personalized.
Even dawn likes it.
If our cfo likes it, you
know you're gonna be okay.
[instrumental music]
All right.
Greetings, my totally
platonic coworker.
Lovely weather
we're having, right?
I told him I don't want
a serious relationship
So he's been greeting me
with small talk all day.
Hm, sure. You two are so weird.
And you, girl, are
about to make history.
Okay?
- Oh.
- Hey, honey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What-what are you doing here?
I just want to
wish you good luck.
Your big day.
Uh, uh, yes.
Thank you for the
abs of support.
Oh. Meera. Look alive.
Here comes dawn with silas.
Please disappear
immediately. Go, go, go.
Silas, this is meera
kumar, our ceo.
And leslie, cofounder
and marketing wiz.
- Ladies, this is...
- Uh, silas averly.
So good to meet you.
It really is, uh...
I'm sorry, my hands are covered
in a dense polymer lotion
That might ignite when it comes
to contact with greasy skin.
- And, well...
- Yes, of course.
Um, could I get you
something to eat or drink?
We're gonna order lunch.
I'm fasting.
The body goes into
ketosis up to 36 hours.
[pensive music]
Dear god, can we
just do this, please?
- Yes.
- Yeah, okay.
For centuries, people used
to just live their lives,
Make mistakes and
learn from them.
But these days, even the
smallest miscalculations
Can haunt you forever.
The naked pictures your
jerk ex put on pornhub.
Or that mugshot from those
drunken college escapade
In myrtle beach.
Honestly, any type
of humiliating thing
That shouldn't cost
you your career
And important
relationships in your life.
There are services,
expensive ones
That only the wealthy can afford
that can scrub information
From the net.
But we wanna bring
that technology
To the average person.
We wanna help
them... Start again.
Start again's algorithm will
quickly scour the internet,
And help suppress
harmful search results.
Essentially, you
get a clean slate.
To demonstrate, we've
spun up a few articles
About someone you may recognize.
[beeping]
Is that me?
I'm sorry, did you
fabricate pictures of me?
Yes, um, in this scenario,
you are an alcoholic
And a serial streaker.
And by the way, I made these
masterpieces all by myself.
[meera] these are some examples
Of the kinds of lies
that can get out there.
"start again" will
find sites like this
And make them disappear.
Using online
shredding technology
That is on par with the cia.
[pensive music]
[meera] just a second.
[beeping]
[music intensifies]
[phone beeps]
What did you do? Did
you publish these?
Why am I getting 50 google
alerts with my name on it?
No. This is... We checked
the code yesterday.
Everything was working.
What's happening?
Where's the freakin' remote?
It'll just take a few hours
to fix. It's a small error.
No. You'll pay for one of
these sites to erase all that.
The expensive ones.
The ones that work.
Or you're gonna have a
libel case on your hands.
Uh, silas...
Open the door. [sighs]
Silas, please.
Just hear me out.
It's a small error,
it's just a small...
[chris grunting]
Can you stop, please?
I'm, I'm trying to
do some work here.
[chris] so am I.
I got to keep trim, the
cirque isn't woke yet
To body shaming. Just a few more
and I'll be good to go again.
I'm glad you can fit me in.
[grunts]
Of course, relationship 101,
A.B.S. Always be supportive.
What's wrong? Maybe I can help.
Do you know 256-bit encryption?
No.
Then you can't help.
Okay, I may not know
coding, but I can do this.
I appreciate your
body. I really do.
It's just, I need to figure
out what happened here.
Do you want to sex
about it instead?
[instrumental music]
So, that table is
a rental actually.
Though it'll probably
be repossessed.
There's nothing wrong
with the demo code.
I've gone over it
half a dozen times
In the last few days.
I just spoke to our backers.
They put the next
drawdown on hold
Till we figure out
what went wrong.
Not to harsh the vibe, but
we could have been hacked.
Hacked?
Also, most of the engineers have
given in their two week notice.
If we were hacked, then the
underlying tech is good.
So, we just need to beef up the
security and prove it to them.
So... Is that like
a five minute thing?
A five day thing?
Is there anything we
can be doing to help
Besides sitting on
our asses waiting?
We can't do anything until
we can update our servers.
That costs. And we
need a team for that.
You mean the one
that's quitting?
There-there's gotta be a way.
[clears throat]
You know, I can see you
guys. What's going on here?
- I'm not calling them.
- "them?" who is them?
It's a long story.
Meera has an
inheritance in india.
Okay, I guess it's not
that long of a story.
- Great! Go, call them.
- It's not that simple.
She can't get it unless she's
married to an indian guy.
Yeah, she was gonna
get married years ago,
But then she ran away from it.
On her wedding day.
You could have
left that bit out.
You know, I knew
a runaway bride...
I am not a runaway bride.
We're running out of time.
I've got to go talk
to the accountants.
Meera, it's worth a shot.
Okay? There's nothing to
lose, except for what, pride?
Right?
[grunts]
Fine.
I just, uh...
I don't know what
I'm gonna tell them.
Kavita, come along.
Meera is calling.
What? What's she calling
for? She barely talks to us.
I don't know, but
I'm answering it.
Come.
Hi, uncle... Aunty.
How are you both?
Still alive.
Stop it.
Hello, beta. So
good to see you.
You too.
Um, now listen, the
reason that I'm calling
Is because I have...
Uh...
I have missed you.
And hopefully, that we
can have a fresh start.
I have been thinking about...
Uh, how much I...
Want us to be closer.
- That's it.
- Why is that?
I need a little
tiny bit of cash.
A little cash.
Ah, so...
You're calling us because
you want us to bail you out,
After barely talking
to us for years.
After leaving your groom
stranded at the altar.
- After...
- I-I was wrong.
And you...
You w-were right.
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that,
can you run that by me again?
You were right, and it
would be great if I could
Get my inheritance, if you
can't loan me anything.
[chuckles] well, I
didn't write the will.
You know, my sister only
entrusted us with it.
You can override it, right?
No, you know, there are many
things that I didn't agree
With my sister on, but
she was extremely explicit
About this part.
Also, beta, your mom didn't
want you to be alone.
You must be married to satisfy
the terms of the trust.
Maybe you can do something?
Uh, I can't.
- Uh, okay.
- Hey, aunty ji.
Uncle.
Okay, if I may just
advocate for meera here...
You need to advocate
for yourself first.
For the last four months,
I've been sending you
Good morning messages
every single morning
And not a peep out of you.
I expect a little bit
better from my nephew.
Meera can advocate for herself.
Well, the reason that I'm
actually calling is-is
Because I... [laughing]
I'm married.
Yeah, yeah, I'm married,
um, to-to an indian guy.
And you are going to love him.
Whoa, that's
splendid news, meera!
Why weren't we invited
for the wedding?
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Surprise!
When did this happen?
Oh, few months ago. Hm-hm.
Lovely, we're so
thrilled for you.
What lovely? We
haven't met them yet.
What's this boy's name?
Oh, aunty, don't get
bogged down in the details.
I, I will tell you
later. Question.
Um, you just want me
to send you a picture
Or, uh, can you
take my word for it?
[laughing]
No, beta. It's not so simple.
We are talking about
a lot of money here.
So, you need to come
home with the husband
Show us the marriage
certificates
Sign paper works
with the lawyers,
And then and only then
will you have your money.
[kavita] don't worry,
we'll arrange everything.
You just get here within a week
Because we're going
on a holiday soon.
Hm, call me tomorrow.
We'll discuss this.
Bye, beta. Love you.
How the hell am I gonna find
a fake husband in a week?
- Hello, how are you, yar?
- All good?
Yeah, that's great...
Aunty, I love your daughter.
This is probably how
your aunt and uncle felt
Looking at proposals.
[fake laugh]
Rakesh pillai.
Oh, rakesh pillai.
Okay, do not worry, your fake
future husband is out there.
- Maybe.
- Hi.
Little more, okay? Okay.
Just give me a moment
to-to internalize.
[clears throat]
[vocalizing]
You messed with the
wrong woman, aunty.
Hm, next.
[upbeat music]
on the beat huh from the
mean streets of mumbai
I run killing makes
money but it's not fun
I had me some homies but
they got shot with a gun
Yeah, bro. Are you okay?
- Peace.
- Namaskar, baby.
Mera naam todd... Hai
You're a white guy.
I just have one
small requirement.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm married
and I have six children.
No. Sorry.
[sighs] that's it.
We can try again.
Do another casting.
I think the polyamorous father
of six is your best bet,
Given you're near spinsterhood.
So, shall I block his dates?
The more I think about
the backend of the code,
Something is wrong.
Meera, focus. Fake husband.
Oh, honey. Don't
touch your face.
That's only gonna
make you break out,
You don't want that for tonight.
What's tonight?
The 30 under 30
cocktail reception.
Wait what? No, no.
I can't go to that. They're
gonna know I'm a fraud.
The whole industry is
full of frauds, okay?
So, how about you go full
elizabeth holmes on them
And get that money?
Hm-hm?
[instrumental music]
I feel like everyone can
see you right through me.
You better shove that imposter
syndrome right up your...
I mean, you're a genius coder
And you care about
the people you help.
You've created a deeply
impactful company.
The one that's about to be sued
By most important
investor in the city.
Details. [gasps]
I see some vc hunks by the
shrimp. Let's go get that bread!
Can I get a manhattan, please?
And could you move
those? Peanut allergy.
Is there a cherry shortage?
You already have three on there.
Hm, I don't.
[choking]
Wow! Rookie.
You can't even
hold your cherries.
Ha-ha, so funny,
except I could've died.
We know honestly that probably
would've been salvation
From all these investor types.
Shuck, silas.
- You okay?
- Hm. So, so good.
Hm, do you mind staying
right there and blocking me
From that angle?
I'm rama, by the way.
Meera.
So, meera. What
are we hiding from?
The bringer of darkness.
Eater of worlds.
They call him the soul crusher.
He's on your 6 o'clock.
Wow. Intense.
So, what brings you here?
Wow! Pulling out
all the classics.
Um, I'm on the list.
Oh, what a coincidence, so am I.
What are the odds?
What do you do?
I run a company
called dinna time.
The celebrity chef
thing? I've used it.
Oh, you're the one!
How did you get all
the chefs on board?
Let me guess. Threaten
them with hours of banter?
You know what, close, but no.
My parents wanted me to do the
stereotypical indian thing,
You know, become a
lawyer or a doctor
Or take over the family
business, but, um,
I wanted to do something else.
I know the feeling.
I love to cook and I
was a chef for a while.
Meet a lot of great
friends, celebrity ones.
And I guess, I realized that
I'd never be as good as them
So I did the next best thing.
Dinna time.
Might have easier just
to do the "indian thing?"
You know what, honestly,
it probably would've,
But, um, I guess
life has a funny way
Of making other plans.
What about you? What's your
30 under 30 claim to fame?
Oh, mine is an app...
That erases your past.
Wow! You know, I could
honestly use that.
I had this awful
hairstyle back in college.
Shaggy hair with
blonde highlights.
There's this photos on
facebook, it's pretty bad.
- He's gone, by the way.
- Who is?
Silas averly. I'm assuming he
was your "eater of worlds?"
- You know him.
- Yeah, he's one of my investors.
Of course, he is.
Uh, excuse me a moment.
Thank you.
Who is that?
Ah, the creator of dinna time.
Oh, he's cute.
[gasps] what about him?
- "what about him" what?
- Fake husband.
Uh, no, no, no. He has a job.
- Did you ask him?
- Of course not.
- I'll ask.
- No! Don't do that.
Hm-hm. [grunts] okay.
Hello, meera.
Silas.
What a wonderful surprise.
Um, what're you doing here?
Well, obviously, I'm
30 under 30 alumni.
But now I'm a mentor.
Of course you are.
- I'm glad you're here.
- Really?
It saves me the trouble of
having to serve you at home.
"serve you at home."
[clears throat] the papers.
This is your cue to
give her the papers.
Consider yourself... Served.
Have a wonderful night.
[leslie] meera.
I hear you're looking
for a fake husband?
He said yes.
Uh, are you serious?
We can't pay you much or...
Oh, no! You don't have
to pay me anything.
I go to india every
couple of years.
Maybe this will just
spice it up a little bit.
You have no idea how much
you'll be helping me out.
And if you meet my family,
You have enough spice
for a couple of trips.
Sounds like a deal.
Honestly, this is how I imagined
my wedding will always be.
- Fake wedding, marriage.
- Of course, yes.
Sure on the up and up.
Except for the lying and fakery.
Except for the lying and fakery.
- Of course.
- Oh, my god! I have a lot to do.
I have to tell my boyfriend
that I have a fake husband!
Okay, I'll see you all
later. Leslie. Please.
Thanks.
Oh, boy!
P ever.
This isn't a breakup. It's...
You said that you would
support me, right?
Like, a.B.S. Or whatever.
So I am supposed to hang out
with you and your fake husband?
Is this like a threesome thing?
What? No!
I'm confused.
I'll be back in like a week.
[phone dings]
Oh, yo! Damn, the cirque
group chat is going off!
Jebediah the tightrope guy
needs a sub for tonight.
"don't injure your junk
unless it's in the bunk."
That's what I always
say. Right, meera?
[phone ringing]
Uh, dawn? Hey, what's up?
[dawn on phone] silas
offered to drop the chargers
If we sell our tech to him.
No, no, no, no.
- We can't do that.
- [dawn] we can't?
That is definitely
off the table.
[dawn] we're running
out of options, meera.
Okay, bye.
[swooshing]
[upbeat music]
[woman singing in
foreign language]
Okay. What was meera state
champion of in high school?
Debate. She's so
annoying to argue with.
- Debate it is, for sure.
- Correct.
[leslie] yeah, no brainer.
[puru] oh, meera, are you there?
Can you hear me?
Dawn wants to give
the company to silas.
What?
It's the only way he
will drop the lawsuit.
Well, that brought
the mood down.
You have the fake marriage
certificate, right?
Uh, no, I think
that's in your bag.
Oh, right, right.
[leslie] thanks
again for doing this.
Hey, is gray really
your favorite color?
Or are you just
being a contrarian?
Ha. Ha. Just
remember the plan.
Oh, and share enough, so,
they know that you know me.
Are you, are you okay
with the boundaries?
You know, because of aunty...
Oh, yeah. We're just friends.
It's okay. I don't want
anything serious anyway.
Great! Me neither.
[upbeat music]
- Here goes nothing.
- [puru] bhaiya, how much?
[man 1] 300.
- Three...
- Wait.
There is something
I wanna give you.
What's this?
It's a ring, you know,
to add authenticity
To your elaborate and
well-thought out plan.
Whoa!
But, I-I didn't get you...
That's okay, when I realized,
I just grabbed at a duty-free.
I'm simple.
He's simple.
There is nothing
simple about that ring.
[sighs]
- Suresh kaka.
- Meera beta.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.
This is suresh kaka.
He's worked with my aunt and
uncle since I can remember.
Suresh kaka.
[meera] he's basically family.
- I'll take your bag.
- Okay.
Now listen, I know, I told you
that my aunt can be very cold,
So don't expect,
like, a warm welcome.
Honestly, I'd be surprised
if she even acknowledged you.
- Just...
- [kavita] here you are.
Aunty...
Welcome, welcome.
[speaking in hindi]
- Hi.
- Hello.
- This is rama.
- Namaste.
I'm rama.
Welcome to the family.
Oh, what a lovely boy.
He knows how to
respect his elders.
Puru, you are looking
rather american.
Oh, you liking what
you see, aunty ji, huh?
Welcome.
Uncle.
You must be meera's
friend, the lovely leslie.
Oh, yes, that is me,
I'm the lovely leslie.
- Welcome.
- Our home is your home.
Please come on in, everyone.
Okay, perfect.
They are fantastic.
Wow! You didn't
tell me you left a
That was... Really dumb.
Really. Oh, wow!
Now, I want to know
everything about rama.
And why you didn't
invite us to the wedding.
Or didn't even tell us.
Please, forgive us, aunty.
Right, please forgive us.
It's actually entirely my fault.
Meera is completely
innocent here.
We got married in a hurry
Because of what
pandit ji told us.
Oh?
What did he say?
Well, he told us it's
very auspicious time
To get married,
maha sukhmuhurat.
Saturn, jupiter, mars,
venus, sun and moon
And stars were all aligned.
Uh, of course, I refused.
And I said that I will not get
married without the blessings
Of meera's family.
But he insisted and said
that maha shubhmuhurat
Is for that day only, and if we
don't get married on that day,
Our marriage would only
last only one life time
Instead of seven.
Well, I thought that was
a pretty good deal, so...
- I agreed.
- Wow!
I had no idea.
That's beautiful.
Anyway, I assured meera that
once you knew the truth,
You would understand and
you would forgive us.
Do you think I made the
right choice, aunty?
[mellow music]
Of course.
Mahashubhmuhurat doesn't
happen every day, does it, hm?
Truly is a miracle.
Oh, ya. There's no
other word for it.
This is my marriage certificate.
Um, no need to check it on
with lawyers or anything.
It's all in the up and ups.
Always in a hurry for the
most important things in life.
We have plenty of time
for that after the party.
- Hm?
- Pa-party?
What party?
You know, she's always had
this independent streak
About her. Come on, meera.
You don't think
after getting married
And coming all the way
from america to india
We wouldn't want to
celebrate with our relatives?
[laughing nervously] yeah.
[all laughing]
Of course.
Silly of us. [laughing]
Anyway, you must be so tired,
After the long
trip, so freshen up.
Take a nap and we will meet
right back here for dinner.
Yeah, yes.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, I hope you like what
I've done to your room.
Mm. You lovebirds.
Go on.
Puru, you can take her to
the second guest room, yes?
Okay.
Hey, your family's really nice.
[meera] nice? You
thought that was nice?
Oh, yeah. No, you're right.
They are very awful. They are
really, really terrible people.
Congrats, you're now
caught in her web.
You watch, now she's
going to try to control
Every aspect of your life.
Huh! Is this about the party?
Yes, two minutes here and
She's already planning
our itinerary.
And then she has the gall to
call me "too independent."
Classic. Who lights
candles during the day?
Uh, millions of
people, actually.
You know, for prayers,
for wishes, for love.
Look, I'll admit what you
did out there, impressive.
But this is a business deal.
And you're like my employee.
[exhales] okay, boss.
The reason that we're here is
so that I can sign some papers.
So that dawn doesn't
have to settle with silas
And then I can save my company.
Okay, so, could you just
not fall into her web?
Okay, sure. Next
time, I see her,
I'll watch out for those fangs
when she offers me ladoo.
See this? This
is my nightmare.
This is your night...
Roses are your nightmare?
Yes. It's all
so... Presumptuous!
What, that we're
newlyweds in love?
Instead of employee, employer?
I mean, I wonder who
could've given her that idea?
Hm. You know what, whatever.
Uh, I'm gonna get changed,
'cause I've been in
these clothes forever
And I gotta get in
touch with the office.
So...
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
My aunt just knows how
to get under my skin.
[perky music]
- [meera] I appreciate you.
- Appreciate you, too.
Also, I'm taking the bed.
[instrumental music]
[rama] and I just
spilled the whole thing.
And that's how I made gordon
ramsey cry in his own kitchen.
You know, I-I realized like most
people who hide behind bravado,
There is a scared little
child who fears rejection.
Ah. Another great
story. And how true.
You have such amazing stories.
Unlike meera, who is
always sulking at the table
Like she is doing now.
Okay, I-I'm not sulking.
Uh, it is, it's just...
[coughs] so spicy.
[coughs]
I love it.
Yeah, it's not spicy at all.
Yeah. I find that indian
food has an evolving heat.
Whereas american heat
just kind of bashes you
In the face with cayenne.
Lacks the sultry sophistication
of kashmiri red chili.
Exactly!
Meera, it must be so nice
to have a man who has taste.
[chuckling]
How did the two of
you meet? Do tell.
- At a party.
- Online.
Um, actually, I saw
her photo online.
You know, she is in
new york's 30 under 30?
Really?
- Our meera?
- [rama] oh, yes.
She's very modest about
her accomplishments.
- Much like you, aunty.
- Oh! Yes.
I've been known
to be very humble.
Um, anyway, I was at a party
one evening and she was there.
And I swear, it was as if
the air in the room shifted
The moment that she walked in.
You know how in our bollywood
movies there's that moment
Where a love song plays
And all our hero
sees is his heroine?
And the tide of his
life suddenly veers.
Well, it was exactly like that.
I approached her and when
I looked into her eyes,
They were like warm
pools of sunshine
That I could lose myself in.
And when she touched
my hand, it...
I felt as if a thousand
arrows from kamadeva's bow
Had just come straight
into my heart.
Hm.
Oh, kamadeva is the og cupid.
But instead of
being a chubby baby,
He's a handsome young man.
And his arrows are
made of flowers.
I love flowers.
Well, needless to
say, I was smitten.
And when I saw the roses
that you left on our bed,
I was reminded of
that ancient tale
And how I fell in love
with your niece, so...
Thank you, aunty. That was
very thoughtful of you.
And meera loved them,
too, didn't you?
Yeah, roses. Nice touch.
I think I like more
than a thorny rose bush.
I knew you'd like the petals.
Didn't I say so, om, hm?
Hm? Oh, yes, yes.
Darling. Can I see you
for a private moment?
- We're just having a nice...
- Yeah, I need you now.
- Ooh!
- Not like that.
- Yeah.
- Charm.
- Lovebirds.
- Oh, aunty, please.
Don't be silly.
- Hm!
- [om] they are cute.
Cute, cute.
Cheers, guys. The
food is amazing.
Oh, thank you.
[instrumental music]
- What was that?
- What was what?
- If you have ulterior motives...
- Ulterior motives?
My aunt and uncle will not
be investing in dinna time.
[laughs] I have
investors. What are you...
What are you after with
this charm offensive
You got going on, telling
wild tales of hindu gods...
Okay, those are not wild tales.
That's our culture that
everyone's borrowed from.
You know, there would be no
cupid if it wasn't for us.
Look, maybe I'm this way because
I don't know, that's who I am
And I wanna help you.
Look, meera. My
father owns hotels.
Okay, it's the family business.
But I was cut off when I
decided to go my own way too.
Alright, it was a struggle.
So, I get that about you
more than you might know.
I also get that you wanna
show the world who you are,
So you try to work harder than
anyone, and sometimes so hard
That you lose yourself
to who you wanna be,
And in the end you're
neither of those people.
And sometimes, that's the
loneliest place on earth.
I'm not lonely. I have
a boyfriend... I think.
And you don't know me.
You're rigid and you're weird.
And by weird, I mean the
best possible kind. Okay?
But you are cold and distant
to even your closest friends.
You've probably been through a
lot of meaningless relationships
Because you've had your heart
broken by friends, by family,
By men that you
put your trust in.
So, I think you don't seem
to trust anyone or anything
Except for that gnawing
gut feeling inside you
That tells you, "I can be great.
I can do great things."
And you can and you will.
- You think I'm weird?
- And you think I'm charming.
I guess we both hear what
we want to, don't we?
[door knocking]
I hope I'm not
disturbing anything!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, nothing.
Okay. Great, so... Your
aunty wants you back.
She wants to talk party details.
We'll be out in a minute.
Take your time.
- This is just business.
- Mm. See? Cold and distant.
You forgot weird.
- Coming?
- Oh, now you want my charm.
Okay.
What's really going on, puru?
Huh, kavita aunty?
Nothing, I'm just thirsty.
You've been avoiding me.
Me? No, I'm not.
- Yes.
- Okay, I've been avoiding you.
Yes, well, you've been
so busy with party plans
And everything, and I
was like, okay, you...
Stop this, puru.
You know, there is
no excuse for you
To not go and see your mother.
She doesn't even
know you're in india.
And she's even found a lovely
girl from jaipur to meet you.
Yeah.
Um, I will call her.
It's just, I've also been so
busy with meera's company,
And just tiny little
bumps here and there,
Nothing, nothing
that... [hiccups]
[exhales deeply]
I think I'm gassy.
You're a strange boy, puru.
You could learn a
thing or two from rama.
There is something
about him that...
No, he is a great
guy. He is amazing.
He's loving, he's loyal, he's
caring, he's married to meera.
[chuckles] um...
Listen, you scared me when you
jumped out, I've to go and pee.
Hm?
[mellow music]
So, should I care
what's going on
Between silas averly
and your company?
Everything went haywire
when I did our presentation.
This is what happens
when you google him.
Oh, wow!
He's a serial streaker now?
No. We created these fake sites,
And our app was
supposed to delete them.
It was going to be
very, very impressive.
Yeah, I know some people
that paid a lot of money
To delete stuff about
themselves from the internet.
Exactly, and not everyone,
especially younger people,
Can afford that and it
should be accessible.
Right, well, sounds
like your app
Will be important
to a lot of people.
Yeah, well, it
didn't delete them.
Instead, it published
the fake sites.
So, now silas is suing us, and
the only way he will settle
Is if we give him the tech.
So, my company is
doomed unless we...
Can beef up servers,
enhance encryption
And figure out what went
wrong with your code.
- Exactly.
- Let me see.
We're going on the theory
that whoever hacked it
Doesn't want a low-pay
app like ours available.
Interesting ui.
We workshopped that ui to death.
Your start button. Shouldn't
that say "restart?"
I mean, that's what you're
helping people do, right?
Huh. That's actually
a good idea.
You got cut from
the family business?
That must've been hard.
Are you and your
parents not close?
Uh, my dad and I, we were close.
But things got tense
over me not marrying,
And then, well, the family
business was the last straw.
But you visit them every
couple of years, right?
Yeah, mostly to see my mom.
You know, spend a week with her.
- You should see him.
- Yeah.
And you should make
up with your aunt.
At least, you guys are in
the same house together.
What happened with
you two, anyway?
Well, good news. Your
core code is great.
It's difficult to get around.
But it would take big money
To launch a
cyber-attack like that.
What, like how
big? Google big?
Could be.
[birds chirping]
Hello, didi.
Puru, I left my door
unlocked last night.
Remember, aunty.
Keep it on the dl.
Come on. Suresh kaka is waiting.
Okay, let's go.
Oh, I can't wait to see
mumbai. The city of...
I don't know what city of,
but I can't wait to see it.
You guys go on ahead,
I will catch up.
[perky music]
[om] what is it?
An opportunity.
[indistinct chatter]
[man singing in
foreign language]
[song continues]
I used to walk down here
with my family all the time.
We used to come during diwali.
Ah, I loved the fireworks.
Hm, who's that guy?
That is "kala goda,"
meaning black horse.
- "kala goda."
- "kala goda."
I think we should take a
picture next to "kala goda."
Yeah, sure. I think a couple of
pictures there would be great.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go.
Why is he being so weird? I
just wanna take a picture.
You did say you don't
want a relationship.
Yeah, but I don't
want this though.
[song continues]
[indistinct chatter]
[indistinct chatter]
It's beautiful.
It's just like my mom's.
Oh, she must've had good taste.
Yeah, she did.
I miss her.
[jayanti and kareena] meera!
[shrieking]
We did a thing in high school.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Mee-mee! Kareena and
I heard you were back.
- We were at the gymkhanna.
- Yeah.
Just thought of checking out the
nicest stores across the street.
And you must be
the prince charming
That we've heard so much about.
Oh, no, I'm just some guy
That she paid to
play her husband.
[chuckling]
He's hilarious!
Rama, this is
jayanti and karena.
I can't believe you
got married after...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, me. That's
me, married, of course.
Me with this guy.
This hunk of a guy.
- Okay, we need a major catch-up.
- Oh, yes, seriously!
[jayanti] you're thinking
what I'm thinking?
Yeah! No, no, no.
I-I, wait. What?
Karena, catch up.
Club euphoria!
They've got the hottest
act playing tonight.
- Uh, I know. We've...
- We'd love to go.
- Perfect!
- Yes.
It'd be just like
old times, meera.
[jayanti] I'll
text you the deets.
Don't make me come get you.
I know where you live.
And now you too.
- Okay, then. See you!
- We'll see you in the evening.
Bye!
[instrumental music]
- That was fun.
- What was that?
I'm trying to forget
my past, not relive it.
Oh, I'm sorry. You
screamed in unison.
I thought that's
what you wanted.
What I want is for everyone to
please just stick to the plan
So we can get the inheritance
and go back to our lives
In new york.
[indistinct chatter]
[kavita] I asked for a swan.
Why are there ducks
in my house? Shoo!
Krishna!
Get rid of those, now!
[ducks quacking]
I like ducks.
What's all this?
- Who are these people?
- Party planners. Decorators.
Aunty, we really need to
talk about this party.
- I don't wanna...
- Oh, that's cancelled.
[quirky music]
Oh! Great. Fantastic!
I thought that, after seeing
your marriage certificate,
The best thing to do is
to cancel your party.
W-w-why? Is there something
wrong with the certificate?
Because it's super
real. Printed, signed...
T's crossed. I's dotted.
Yeah, witnessed by
us. Leslie and I.
Oh, there's nothing wrong
with the certificate.
Great, yeah. I mean,
why wouldn't it be?
Could I actually get
the inheritance then?
- Of course.
- Amazing.
- After the wedding.
- The what?
Why throw a party when
you can throw a wedding?
- Ah! I already had one!
- Yes, in the eyes of the court.
But not in the eyes of god.
You know, I was under the
illusion the pandit ji
- Actually married you guys.
- Oh...
Aunty, um, he just
told us about the day.
He-he was busy. He was, uh...
Fishing. He was busy
fishing. He's an avid fisher.
Um, it was also an auspicious
time to go out fishing.
And what did he say? Mahi
mahi shubhmuharthe...
- And just went off fishing.
- [leslie] but we were all there!
Myself, meera, rama,
and very unfunny puru.
Be that as it may.
God has decided to tell me
that this is our chance to...
How did you say,
uh, start again?
- We can't do it.
- Oh!
We have to go back. We
can't plan a wedding...
What's kavita
aunty here for, hm?
I will handle
everything. Not to worry.
- Om, we've got to discuss that.
- Mm-hmm!
- I have to tell her.
- Don't.
Wait, wait, wait!
[quirky music]
[phone vibrating]
[clears throat]
We're...
We're gonna go out
tonight to celebrate.
Mm-hmm.
[meera] I-I thought
we're gonna need a car,
But we're gonna take a cab!
- The cab!
- Yeah, it's the best.
- It's the best option.
- Yeah, take a cab, hm.
[puru] s-see you!
[kavita] you, can you
please get these ducks
Out of my house?
I need a drink.
[upbeat music]
- They got nothing on you, babe.
- Oh, I don't care.
We're not together. He
can have fun tonight!
[chuckles]
If I cannot start again,
I'm going to drink
the past away.
What about aunty?
Mmm, she can have fun tonight,
too, and then, tomorrow,
I will tell her the truth
and crush her dreams.
Okay. You are definitely buzzed.
Mmm. Buzz...
[music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
That was amazing.
- That was just, wow!
- Oh, there are shots.
Meera, why didn't you tell us
rama was such a great dancer?
- And so cute!
- You okay?
Yeah, perfect. Never better.
I'm surprised you caught
this one. She is a runner.
I mean, um, she was quite a
wild child back in school.
Yeah, but my baby has
tamed the beast, you see.
- Haven't you, baby?
- Hey, we all have a past.
You know, as long as you don't
let it affect your future,
And that's exactly why meera
came up with the best app ever.
Honestly, she's the
smartest woman I know.
Aw, that's so sweet!
So, puru...
Remember when you put the
moves on me back in school?
I'm all grown, and
I'd like to show you
- Some moves of my own.
- Oh!
Didn't you get married?
Took a leaf out
of your playbook.
No ring on this finger.
I'm trying to convince
kareena to do the same,
But she's a romantic,
just like rama.
- What? I just love my husband.
- That's boring.
Loosen up a little. But
things change, you know.
You've grown into
such a sexy man.
[upbeat music]
[female announcer]
hey, party people!
The moment you all have
been waiting for...
Meera, you're
going to love this.
I'm so sorry.
[female announcer] give a
loud welcome to our headliner.
Back in his hometown for
one night only, dj-x!
[electronic music]
It's your boy dj-x in the house!
[crowd cheering]
He used to dj my
basement parties.
And now he tours the
world. Hot, right?
What's wrong?
[jayanti] meera!
Uh, he's also
meera's ex-boyfriend.
She used to be crazy about him.
I thought you said
this dj ex was a dork.
Dork no more. Ugh, jayanti.
She's still doing the
same stupid shit she did
- When we were teens.
- We can split.
[music continues]
No. It is time to dance.
[music continues]
- Is there only one bathroom?
- Phew, seriously!
[indistinct chatter]
Meera?
Hey, x. What is up?
[chuckles]
Well, when jayanti told me
That you were
coming for my show,
- I could not believe it.
- You were the one djing?
- Yeah.
- I barely noticed.
[dj-x chuckles]
So, uh...
Can we go to some place quiet?
- Meera.
- Oh, it's okay.
I'm-I'm not even drunk.
Sure. All right, let's go.
- Yeah, let's go.
- To the dj.
- Righty. Bye!
- Bye!
[music continues]
So, did you like my show?
I don't get dj's.
Like, you're not,
like, real musicians.
Lotta like boopity-boop
boopity boop-boop-boop.
Push buttons, but whatever.
People people like
it or whatever.
I was pretty good at pushing
your buttons. Remember, meera?
All I remember is you
pushing the angry button
And the sad button.
You bailed on me when they
tried to get me married off!
I mean, it's-it's
okay. I'm married now.
I got proof!
Proof!
Meera, we were kids, really.
And, babe, trust me.
It took me a long
time to realize
That you were the one
that got away. Yeah.
Why didn't you come and find me
During your so-called
realization?
I'm not, like, waldo.
I'm pretty easy to find.
[clears throat]
- It's all fake.
- What?
- It's all fake anyway.
- What, what?
Me, me, me, me, meera.
- If I could just hit start.
- Yeah.
- Restart.
- Yeah.
- Then start again.
- Yeah.
Oh, if I could get that
app to work, I swear.
Sure, sure, sure, meera.
Whoa! Wha-what are
you doing? Wait up.
Meera, you just said
you wanted to restart.
- Not-not on us, stupid!
- Come on, meera.
You wanted to...
[upbeat music]
[gasping]
[crowd exclaiming]
Meera, are you okay?
Hey, look at me.
I can't bre...
Peanuts, peanuts!
[choking]
[gasping]
You're okay.
You okay? Let's go.
Meera! What happened?
Are you okay?
Yeah, you forgot?
Peanut allergy.
Oh, no, um. See, I'm so sorry.
I didn't even think of that.
Yeah, well, thinking was never
one of your strong suits.
This guy give you
peanuts or something?
Well, it was an accident, bro.
- Hi, x.
- Yeah, I'm rama. Her husband.
Oh, so you are the dude
who locked her down.
Congrats, buddy. And I'm so
sorry for the peanut lips.
- You kissed her?
- Yeah, she's fine.
She's fine? Bro,
she could have died!
Where do you get
off kissing my wife?
Bro, relax. It is
harmless, okay?
And look, she's still breathing.
- Right. Hey!
- She's okay.
[groaning]
Hey, bro, relax.
It's harmless.
You're still breathing. Idiot!
You just said the same line.
[laughing]
Hey, I'm here.
[engine revving]
It's him.
Ugh! Uh-oh, oh!
[retching]
Wow. That feels like I
got all of it out of me.
- Yeah. Because you did.
- I'm great.
[indistinct chatter[
Okay, let's get you up here.
Um... My face feels funny.
Okay, that's 'cause
that's my face.
You're so right, rama.
It's just so hard
doing this by myself.
I get overwhelmed.
People say I'm...
A water on duck.
You know, I'm pretty sure
people don't say that.
But inside, I...
I-I-I feel like I'm a cocoon
before it becomes a duck.
Yeah, th-that's not how the
saying goes, but that's okay.
I ran away.
Did you know that?
I left a guy at the altar...
And I left my family.
[mellow music]
To become a failure.
Hey, you're not a failure, okay?
You're just trying to figure
it out like everyone else.
Well, will you just hold
me, please, for a second?
I'm not-I'm not gonna
throw up on you.
Hmm.
Mmm.
You're gonna make a
really great wife...
To a really great husband.
You're just gonna
be really great.
Mmm. Yeah, well, that
was the plan... Sort of.
[scoffs]
Hey, meera, I need to
tell you something.
I haven't been completely
honest you, I...
I'm not who you think
I am. I'm, what's...
[mellow music]
Meera?
[woman singing in
foreign language]
- That's very good. Excellent!
- Shut it off, please!
[laughing]
Meera, that was quite
the rest you had.
It's almost noon.
Stayed up late?
Oh, god, uh...
Yeah, I-I guess...
Yeah, we just sleep
really well together.
Honey, can I see you a sec?
[birds chirping]
- You want to get out of here?
- Yes, please.
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
I just can't take it.
You should just let
me tell her the truth.
Yeah, but then your
company would be ruined.
I left so that I-I
could live my truth.
Why am I having
to lie to live it?
I don't know. Maybe we could
live it a little longer until...
What? Get married for real?
[music continues]
Why?
I don't know, I think
what your company is doing
Is important, you know,
we've already come so far.
We can get annulled.
You can tell people that
I was too good for you.
They would definitely
believe that.
Why are you so nice to me?
Actually, you know,
when I first met you,
I thought you were
way too into yourself.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
But then I realized,
you're just passionate.
And even though that
passion can be infuriating,
It's what makes you who you are.
And if I can be a part
of keeping that fire,
Then, that's a win for me.
And if it's any comfort,
It'll still be a sham marriage.
Is that what you want? A sham?
[phone vibrating]
- What is it?
- Uh, it's my mom.
Take it.
You shouldn't ignore
a call from your mom.
Hey, amma.
How are you? How's dad?
[rama] yeah, I'd love to
see you. You're gonna cook?
Okay, I love you, then.
Yeah, no, it's good.
So... They're
still not back yet?
- No.
- Oh.
I think they ran
away and eloped.
You know, this whole pretending
thing may work for meera,
But... I miss you.
[quirky music]
- Kavita aunty will never know.
- Are you sure?
'cause I thought you
wanted this to be casual.
I did. It was a
defense mechanism.
But being out here,
you've really grown on me.
Mm.
Um, I'm a grower,
they always say.
But... If you want to keep
it on the dl, I get it.
Aunty scares me, you know.
And... I've got these
old-fashioned parents
And she's got them on
speed dial. It's crazy.
Well, you gotta man up.
- Oh, I can man up, baby.
- Oh, can you?
- Oh, you want me to? Mm?
- Mm-hmm.
Chris?
Hey, guys.
Well, what are you
doing here, man?
Grand gesture, bro. I
read about it online.
Chicks dig it and I dig meera.
That's love.
Plus, I have not had
sex in, like, a week.
That is love for
sure. Um, listen...
- She's not here!
- Yeah, she's not here.
[kavita] look, this is
ridiculous. This is india.
Come on, bro. Let's go!
Um... She just left
for her flight.
You know what, go
get to the airport!
- What?
- Yeah.
She read the same
article as you.
- Grand gestures!
- Grand gestures, man!
Go, surprise her mid-flight.
Sing her a song from
an adam sandler film!
- Uh, that's solid advice.
- Yeah.
But I got a crap voice.
- I could pirouette?
- For sure.
Well, I'm sure airlines
love it when people, like,
- Jump around on their planes.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Let's go!
- Okay.
I'm not running a
petting zoo here.
I'm trying to hold a
wedding! Yes, thank you!
Aunty, aren't we a pair?
What are you doing here?
I live here.
W-what's going on
outside? Someone here?
[speaking in hindi]
- All right, brother.
- Hey, man.
- See you, man.
- See you!
Okay, have a good flight!
[engine whirring]
Oh, that guy? Your funny
story. He's an acrobat.
And I thought he might be
nice for the reception.
That's different.
Yeah, he could swing
from the arches.
Phew!
Wow! Tourists, huh?
That guy was looking
for an ashram.
I said, "dude, does this
look like an ashram to you?"
- I sent him right on his way.
- I thought he was an acrobat.
An acrobat...
Yeah, an acrobat at
the ashram, of course.
Yeah, um...
Anyway, lots to do!
Gotta go. See you. Bye!
[clears throat]
Om, do you think puru
should tell some jokes
At the reception?
No, I don't think...
Oh, I'd pay to see that.
Yeah?
Finally! Where
have you guys been?
We have to ask you something.
When's the wedding?
[mellow music]
[sighs]
[kavita] beautiful. Oh,
she's got his name in there.
You know, they say that if
the color doesn't catch,
- It's a bad omen.
- Hmm.
So make sure you don't use
your hand until it's dry, okay?
[speaking in hindi]
I can't believe
you're doing this.
- I mean, I can. It's obvious.
- What is?
I've seen the way
you look at rama
When you think he can't see you.
Th-that's-that's not
what... It's business.
- Is he giving you the business?
- Shut up!
Go, go and get me a drink, okay?
How?
[chuckles]
Okay.
- Oh, hi, rama!
- Ooh, you look nice.
Oh, thank you.
What is this?
This is lemon and sugar.
Keep the mehndi moist,
so it catches darker.
The darker it catches,
the better your luck.
You know, I actually
just heard that.
Mm-hmm.
Although you said it in a more
Glass half-full kind of way.
H-how do you know this?
Ha-ha, well, I have two sisters.
So, they used to practice on me.
Mostly hennaing stupid
things on my face.
[chuckles]
But trust me, this is the secret
To my clear complexion,
- Lemon and sugar.
- Ooh.
[instrumental music]
Your parents coming
to the wedding?
Uh, I just said that
out loud. Wedding.
[chuckles]
Uh, no, I don't,
I don't think so.
I think it's my dad's, well...
Yeah.
You should go see them.
I made a lot of bad choices
'cause I didn't have them around
To guide me.
Well, you have your
aunt and uncle.
Kind of.
My aunt got thrust from this
friend role to this parent role.
And I didn't really
want a new mom.
They tried their
best, but I guess
We just never really
got through it.
Can't change the past.
[music continues]
Hey, it's okay.
We're figuring it out now.
Thanks to you, honestly.
[chuckles]
You kind of like me, don't you?
Shut up.
Hey, there's something I've
been wanting to tell you.
Wait.
Change, in the past. I'm
so stupid. That's it!
[instrumental music]
I-I don't have time... Work.
[keys clacking]
Sorry about that. What
are you doing? Need help?
I'm just checking all
code merges from the days
Before the presentation.
It's gonna take a while, but
should be able to connect
The timestamps from the server
computers to the user profile
That made all the changes.
[sighs]
Okay.
There, look at that.
The mehndi took. I guess
I'm not doomed after all.
[chuckles]
- Hi!
- Hello, aunty.
- How are you, aunty?
- How are you?
You look fabulous.
Enjoy yourselves.
[song continues]
Wait a second. I'll be back.
[quirky music]
You would not believe
where I've been, bro.
I love india.
Yeah, man.
The rickshaw driver
and I stopped for paan
And that's when
things got crazy.
I guess it was laced
with some psychedelics.
We had this great chat,
pure mental communication
Through our third eyes and then
We ended up at this
local ashram, right?
They bring out a tiger and they
want me to fight the tiger.
And I was scared, but I
looked at the tiger's eyes
And he was scared too.
And that's when I
knew we were one.
So I went over to him
and I said, "meow!"
And impressed all the
locals and they said,
"you are our new monk."
Took me a couple hours, but
I achieved enlightenment
Which isn't as much as
everyone makes it out to be.
Don't worry about it,
if you never get there.
And then, when I came
back to the city,
I met this beautiful
woman. Uh, there she is.
She brought me here, to
meera's wedding. Do you see?
So now when they ask
if anyone objects,
I'm gonna jump up
and make my move.
Yeah, I don't think that
happens in indian weddings, man.
Okay, bro. I think
she's moved on.
And... You should go back home.
He's my plus one, puru.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah.
It's sad, you know. He
could use some more "oms."
Definitely.
You can't run away this time.
I've bolted all the windows.
Oh, let her be. Meera,
we are here for you.
She's just happy that
I'm finally having
An indian wedding.
Tell her.
[instrumental music]
Just tell me.
Meera... You know,
when you came to us,
You were already so
independent, smart.
Free-spirited.
I didn't know how to be
a good mother to you.
But that's all I've
really wanted to be.
So I did the next best thing.
To honor my sister's
final wishes
That when you got married,
you would get your inheritance
And you could go away to live
a new life with a new family.
The best thing I could
do to support you...
Was to let you go, meera.
Though all I really wanted
was for you to stay.
But you know, I'm so proud
of you for finding somebody
To love all on your own.
We're so glad
you're finally home
And letting us do this for you.
[mellow music]
I know that back
then I was difficult.
I guess I was blinded
in my own grief,
But I... I kinda appreciate
the kinds of sacrifices
You both made to just
try to keep me happy...
And how hard it
must've been for you.
- I'm sorry.
- No!
I really, I really am.
[music continues]
Oh, you got no idea
what I just saw.
There he is, our lovely puru.
You know if you and
leslie want to live in sin
Out of wedlock,
we're okay with that.
- Mm, what-what do you mean?
- It's so obvious.
You're very funny, but
you're a terrible liar.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
I'm game if you are.
[gasps]
- Not here!
- Oh, sorry!
I think we should
give meera a minute.
- You too.
- Let's go.
You gave me some
good advice before.
I do not know if it
was all that good.
It brought me to this moment.
Well, something is
missing from this moment.
- My mother's necklace.
- Put it on.
You know, I also lost my
parents when I was very young
Like you did.
And that is why I think we
got along so well together.
Your aunt has always
loved you unconditionally.
And tonight, she
was being honest.
That took a lot from her.
Isn't it time you do the same?
[music continues]
[pensive music]
[music continues]
Is it me or does it seem like
They're actually
into each other?
Don't worry, I've got a
feeling it's gonna end
Just the way it
did a decade ago.
[music continues]
[music continues]
Aunty... Uncle.
I can't do this. I
can't deceive you.
This is a sham.
We're not married.
[meera] rama was
just doing me a favor
So I could get my inheritance.
My company was in trouble
and-and I just blurted out
What I thought you
wanted to hear.
But what's the point in
success if I can't share it
With my family?
Rama helped me realize
that what was missing
From-from everything I
achieved was you two.
Three.
[indistinct chatter]
[crickets chirping]
I'm so sorry.
I've put you through way
more than I asked for.
But, you know... I've had
the greatest time with you
These last few days.
I hope someday you
can forgive me.
"dear, groom, I know that
I picked the worst time,
But it'd be unfair
to you and myself
If I let us go
through with this."
[instrumental music]
How... Do you know that letter?
You know, I've read
it so many times
It's just burnt on my mind.
You were that groom?
But his name was agastya.
Americans can't
pronounce agastya,
So I went with my middle name.
Rama.
Yeah.
You did all of this...
Just to get back at me?
What? No!
[crowd exclaiming]
Damn!
[sobbing]
[rama] meera, wait...
[dramatic music]
I'm so sorry.
[mellow music]
I can't imagine what I
put you and uncle through.
No, not as much as
that boy, meera.
You know, I can't believe
I didn't recognize him.
I can.
And considering how
many boys we looked at,
- I may be face blind now.
- Yeah, chi!
- She's better off rid of him.
- I feel bad for him though.
- Poor boy.
- What? He lied to her, om.
You know, I agree with uncle.
I mean, come on.
The dude likes you.
He-he probably loves you.
He's been pining away so long.
Yeah, he's not doing this
for money. He only wants you.
Even the parts
about you that suck.
You owe him a conversation.
This is terrible advice
you both are giving her.
I won't let you
influence her like this.
Wait a minute, aren't
you the one who said that
He was a good boy? And then
when you met him... Again?
Yes, but that was
before I knew him, no?
Ah!
You know, I'm sure
he wants to go viral
With some revenge trick
against the girl who left him
Stranded at the altar
or something like that.
It's like that show that
puru keeps watching.
He wasn't doing a punk'd, aunty.
Ah! That, "punk'd."
[clears throat]
[music continues]
Did your aunty ever tell
you about our introduction?
- No.
- No.
She wouldn't meet
with me either.
- What?
- [om] yeah.
Your grandparents
had to drag her,
Kicking and screaming
to our house.
That sound familiar, sweetheart?
Is that true?
Oh, my memory's foggy.
And even after she came, she
refused to wear any makeup
Or get dressed up.
She came with a t-shirt, jeans,
And a whole lot of attitude.
She insisted she would
be wearing plain clothes
Most of our lives so why
present herself as anyone else?
Wait. So what made
you say yes to her?
[music continues]
She was different,
and although I knew
I would have to put
up with a lot of,
What is it you kids
call it nowadays?
- Extra.
- Yeah, extra.
I also knew whatever
that extra was,
I would never be bored.
Also her ass looked
amazing in those jeans.
[chuckles]
Om!
[laughing]
[mellow music]
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
Amma!
Amma.
Suresh, count the
number of pieces, yeah?
- Ah, yeah.
- Okay.
I'm gonna miss you guys so much.
- Oh, leslie.
- Yeah.
But thanks for
calling mom and dad.
You better go and
see them next time.
Ah! I will.
[chuckles]
Okay.
I'll see you sooner rather
than later this time.
Perhaps sooner if
my company tanks.
We're family. We'll cover
you as much as we can.
Until you finally,
eventually get married.
Till then, your inheritance
is gaining interest.
Mmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, who's that?
Uh, excuse me a minute.
[music continues]
Hi, chris.
I-I-I'm glad you're here.
- Look, this thing between...
- Shh.
[quirky music]
I don't want you to embarrass
yourself with a big speech
In front of your family, but
our journey has come to an end.
They've asked me to play the
villain in a bollywood movie.
He's a british general
who joins the circus.
Anyway, I just wanted
to tell you in person.
And give you a chance
to say goodbye.
This is a lot to take in.
But, um...
I'm proud of you.
[music continues]
Bye, chris.
[speaking in hindi]
[birds chirping]
Your favorite.
Prodigal son returns. Still
single though, I hear.
- Oh, mom told you?
- Didn't have to.
I could smell it on you.
[chuckles] arey,
idiot. Gossip travels.
I knew before you
got into your car.
I still can't believe she
made a fool out of you again.
She didn't make a fool of
me the first time, dad.
She actually showed me
what I was supposed to be.
- What? A cook?
- A little more than a cook now.
So where is your
restaurant in america?
Sold it. Built a
successful app.
You never gave up on your dream.
So why are you
giving up on love?
Uh...
[instrumental music]
I-I tricked her, dad.
And love is just a trick
of the heart, isn't it?
Who cares what jadoo
or kis led to pyar,
But if she feels it, too, you
owe it to yourself to try.
Uh, she's-she's pretty mad.
If you love her, the
best you could do
Is ask for her forgiveness.
[instrumental music]
Eat!
[anil chuckles]
[engine whirring]
[phone vibrating]
Holy crap! I knew it.
What?
Did a certain groom
you keep leaving
At the altar just text you?
I just got back the results
From the analysis I
sent in on the code
And we were definitely hacked.
I knew it.
And it originated
from averley servers.
Holy crap! Silas is
trying to steal our code!
That's crazy! Call the fcc or
the fbi or whoever handles this!
- Yeah.
- I have enough proof.
We can fix this and we'll
definately not be settling
The lawsuit by
giving him our tech!
[bike horn honking]
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
Do you want me to lose him?
- Grand gestures, man.
- Meera.
The guy is chasing you
out on a motorcycle
After you dumped him twice.
I think you should hear
what he has to say.
- I don't care.
- [leslie] yes, you do.
You may never see him
again. Stop the car!
[music continues]
Listen... We like you.
But we love her. Understood?
Got it.
Can we talk?
Look, meera, do you know
what I saw on that day
We were supposed to
meet for the first time?
I watched you fight to forge
your own path on my driveway.
- Sorry about the potted plant.
- We replaced it.
Look, after you left, I was
pushed even harder to marry.
And then I heard that you went
to america all by yourself.
Like, you had the courage to
fight for what you wanted.
How-how could I not do
the same? You inspired me.
[mellow music]
Oh.
And when I saw
you at that party,
I recognized you instantly.
And I wanted to say thank
you for what you did.
So why didn't you,
instead of lying
About literally everything?
I intended to, and then,
I remembered that you were
So opposed to the
mere idea of me
That you ran ten
thousand miles away.
Then I went and I talked to
you, and you were amazing.
You were funny, sweet,
Totally frantic and
obsessed with your job.
And then, when leslie
pitched in the idea, well,
I thought maybe this was
my chance to show you
Who I really am.
Stupid charm offensive.
You might think that I never
thought about what I did to you.
But, of course, I did.
I was young and stupid.
Sometimes I even regretted it.
We would have hated each other.
Who says we don't now?
[music continues]
If I never left...
I would have never
found my own way.
But if you hadn't
come into my life...
I would have never
found my way back.
So where does that leave us now?
I think...
I think if you're still willing,
Three attempts later...
Maybe we can hit restart?
Restart, huh? That's
pretty catchy.
It'd be good on a
button somewhere.
[instrumental music]
You had one good idea.
Don't let it go to your head.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
[kavita] meera,
get out of the car.
[om] beta, please.
Do as your aunt says.
[kavita] you know, she's
always been like this!
Extra independent, overly
headstrong, all the time!
Well, then, you
should be used to it.
[gasps] move over.
[car door opens]
Mee...
Meera, meera, this
is a good boy.
He's studying to be a doctor.
Great! Maybe he can cure you
of your backward thinking!
Beta, why can't you just
meet with him? That's all.
Meera, we only want
what's best for you!
No, you want what's
best for you!
[scoffs] suresh, do something.
- I am switzerland, ma'am!
- I want a career.
I have dreams, so I
should get to choose.
So, choose. We've given
you so many options.
I choose me! I choose me.
No, no! No, no, no, no.
You can't marry yourself.
Why not? At least, I will
be with someone that I love.
You know, this love-jove
thing of yours...
So much for being switzerland.
What is the point of
knowing everything
About the person you
love before the marriage?
It's boring. Ask your uncle.
Do something.
- Beta...
- Come on.
- Beta listen, please.
- Meera!
[meera gasps]
God! Look at what she's done.
I want freedom.
Meera, marriage is freedom.
You will get your
inheritance and the freedom
To do whatever you want to
do after you are married.
Please, meera. I had
promised your mother
That I will see to it
that you are settled.
You know, she loved you.
She was worried
about your future.
Just meet him.
If not for me, at least for her?
[mellow music]
Okay.
Come on.
I don't care.
Just tell them, "yes."
What does it matter if I meet
them now or after the wedding?
[mellow music]
[kavita] this belonged
to your mother.
It's been passed
down for generations.
I'm sure, she would've
wanted you to wear it.
Kavita, it will take us
time to reach the venue.
- We also have to load the car.
- Yes, we'll be right back.
What should I do, suresh kaka?
The heart finds its own way.
We only need to listen.
[speaking in hindi]
[dramatic music]
[meera] dear groom, I know that
I have picked the worst time,
But it would be unfair
to you and to myself
If I let us go
through with this.
Dear aunty and uncle, I
hope you can forgive me.
[kavita] meera, why
is the door locked?
Open right now.
[intense music]
[rattling]
[groaning]
Uh...
Namaste, uncle.
Meera?
I'm sorry.
Auto!
[pensive music]
[upbeat music]
- Meera?
- How was the beta test?
Amazing, as always.
We even made a c-list celebrity
cry. It's a good thing, silly.
We wiped all her ex's
sabotage right off the web.
Everyone deserves
a second chance.
Meera. You got this.
There's a reason you're on
new york's 30 under 30 list.
Founder ceo who code their own
products don't just happen.
Silas averly won't
know what hit him.
- The tech is good, right?
- Mm-hm.
I mean, he's helped take
multiple companies go public.
Are we at that level?
He'd be crazy not to invest.
Oh, we need his investment
to get out of beta.
Hey, you think we went
too far with the sites?
No. It's personalized. These
people love personalized.
Even dawn likes it.
If our cfo likes it, you
know you're gonna be okay.
[instrumental music]
All right.
Greetings, my totally
platonic coworker.
Lovely weather
we're having, right?
I told him I don't want
a serious relationship
So he's been greeting me
with small talk all day.
Hm, sure. You two are so weird.
And you, girl, are
about to make history.
Okay?
- Oh.
- Hey, honey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What-what are you doing here?
I just want to
wish you good luck.
Your big day.
Uh, uh, yes.
Thank you for the
abs of support.
Oh. Meera. Look alive.
Here comes dawn with silas.
Please disappear
immediately. Go, go, go.
Silas, this is meera
kumar, our ceo.
And leslie, cofounder
and marketing wiz.
- Ladies, this is...
- Uh, silas averly.
So good to meet you.
It really is, uh...
I'm sorry, my hands are covered
in a dense polymer lotion
That might ignite when it comes
to contact with greasy skin.
- And, well...
- Yes, of course.
Um, could I get you
something to eat or drink?
We're gonna order lunch.
I'm fasting.
The body goes into
ketosis up to 36 hours.
[pensive music]
Dear god, can we
just do this, please?
- Yes.
- Yeah, okay.
For centuries, people used
to just live their lives,
Make mistakes and
learn from them.
But these days, even the
smallest miscalculations
Can haunt you forever.
The naked pictures your
jerk ex put on pornhub.
Or that mugshot from those
drunken college escapade
In myrtle beach.
Honestly, any type
of humiliating thing
That shouldn't cost
you your career
And important
relationships in your life.
There are services,
expensive ones
That only the wealthy can afford
that can scrub information
From the net.
But we wanna bring
that technology
To the average person.
We wanna help
them... Start again.
Start again's algorithm will
quickly scour the internet,
And help suppress
harmful search results.
Essentially, you
get a clean slate.
To demonstrate, we've
spun up a few articles
About someone you may recognize.
[beeping]
Is that me?
I'm sorry, did you
fabricate pictures of me?
Yes, um, in this scenario,
you are an alcoholic
And a serial streaker.
And by the way, I made these
masterpieces all by myself.
[meera] these are some examples
Of the kinds of lies
that can get out there.
"start again" will
find sites like this
And make them disappear.
Using online
shredding technology
That is on par with the cia.
[pensive music]
[meera] just a second.
[beeping]
[music intensifies]
[phone beeps]
What did you do? Did
you publish these?
Why am I getting 50 google
alerts with my name on it?
No. This is... We checked
the code yesterday.
Everything was working.
What's happening?
Where's the freakin' remote?
It'll just take a few hours
to fix. It's a small error.
No. You'll pay for one of
these sites to erase all that.
The expensive ones.
The ones that work.
Or you're gonna have a
libel case on your hands.
Uh, silas...
Open the door. [sighs]
Silas, please.
Just hear me out.
It's a small error,
it's just a small...
[chris grunting]
Can you stop, please?
I'm, I'm trying to
do some work here.
[chris] so am I.
I got to keep trim, the
cirque isn't woke yet
To body shaming. Just a few more
and I'll be good to go again.
I'm glad you can fit me in.
[grunts]
Of course, relationship 101,
A.B.S. Always be supportive.
What's wrong? Maybe I can help.
Do you know 256-bit encryption?
No.
Then you can't help.
Okay, I may not know
coding, but I can do this.
I appreciate your
body. I really do.
It's just, I need to figure
out what happened here.
Do you want to sex
about it instead?
[instrumental music]
So, that table is
a rental actually.
Though it'll probably
be repossessed.
There's nothing wrong
with the demo code.
I've gone over it
half a dozen times
In the last few days.
I just spoke to our backers.
They put the next
drawdown on hold
Till we figure out
what went wrong.
Not to harsh the vibe, but
we could have been hacked.
Hacked?
Also, most of the engineers have
given in their two week notice.
If we were hacked, then the
underlying tech is good.
So, we just need to beef up the
security and prove it to them.
So... Is that like
a five minute thing?
A five day thing?
Is there anything we
can be doing to help
Besides sitting on
our asses waiting?
We can't do anything until
we can update our servers.
That costs. And we
need a team for that.
You mean the one
that's quitting?
There-there's gotta be a way.
[clears throat]
You know, I can see you
guys. What's going on here?
- I'm not calling them.
- "them?" who is them?
It's a long story.
Meera has an
inheritance in india.
Okay, I guess it's not
that long of a story.
- Great! Go, call them.
- It's not that simple.
She can't get it unless she's
married to an indian guy.
Yeah, she was gonna
get married years ago,
But then she ran away from it.
On her wedding day.
You could have
left that bit out.
You know, I knew
a runaway bride...
I am not a runaway bride.
We're running out of time.
I've got to go talk
to the accountants.
Meera, it's worth a shot.
Okay? There's nothing to
lose, except for what, pride?
Right?
[grunts]
Fine.
I just, uh...
I don't know what
I'm gonna tell them.
Kavita, come along.
Meera is calling.
What? What's she calling
for? She barely talks to us.
I don't know, but
I'm answering it.
Come.
Hi, uncle... Aunty.
How are you both?
Still alive.
Stop it.
Hello, beta. So
good to see you.
You too.
Um, now listen, the
reason that I'm calling
Is because I have...
Uh...
I have missed you.
And hopefully, that we
can have a fresh start.
I have been thinking about...
Uh, how much I...
Want us to be closer.
- That's it.
- Why is that?
I need a little
tiny bit of cash.
A little cash.
Ah, so...
You're calling us because
you want us to bail you out,
After barely talking
to us for years.
After leaving your groom
stranded at the altar.
- After...
- I-I was wrong.
And you...
You w-were right.
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that,
can you run that by me again?
You were right, and it
would be great if I could
Get my inheritance, if you
can't loan me anything.
[chuckles] well, I
didn't write the will.
You know, my sister only
entrusted us with it.
You can override it, right?
No, you know, there are many
things that I didn't agree
With my sister on, but
she was extremely explicit
About this part.
Also, beta, your mom didn't
want you to be alone.
You must be married to satisfy
the terms of the trust.
Maybe you can do something?
Uh, I can't.
- Uh, okay.
- Hey, aunty ji.
Uncle.
Okay, if I may just
advocate for meera here...
You need to advocate
for yourself first.
For the last four months,
I've been sending you
Good morning messages
every single morning
And not a peep out of you.
I expect a little bit
better from my nephew.
Meera can advocate for herself.
Well, the reason that I'm
actually calling is-is
Because I... [laughing]
I'm married.
Yeah, yeah, I'm married,
um, to-to an indian guy.
And you are going to love him.
Whoa, that's
splendid news, meera!
Why weren't we invited
for the wedding?
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Surprise!
When did this happen?
Oh, few months ago. Hm-hm.
Lovely, we're so
thrilled for you.
What lovely? We
haven't met them yet.
What's this boy's name?
Oh, aunty, don't get
bogged down in the details.
I, I will tell you
later. Question.
Um, you just want me
to send you a picture
Or, uh, can you
take my word for it?
[laughing]
No, beta. It's not so simple.
We are talking about
a lot of money here.
So, you need to come
home with the husband
Show us the marriage
certificates
Sign paper works
with the lawyers,
And then and only then
will you have your money.
[kavita] don't worry,
we'll arrange everything.
You just get here within a week
Because we're going
on a holiday soon.
Hm, call me tomorrow.
We'll discuss this.
Bye, beta. Love you.
How the hell am I gonna find
a fake husband in a week?
- Hello, how are you, yar?
- All good?
Yeah, that's great...
Aunty, I love your daughter.
This is probably how
your aunt and uncle felt
Looking at proposals.
[fake laugh]
Rakesh pillai.
Oh, rakesh pillai.
Okay, do not worry, your fake
future husband is out there.
- Maybe.
- Hi.
Little more, okay? Okay.
Just give me a moment
to-to internalize.
[clears throat]
[vocalizing]
You messed with the
wrong woman, aunty.
Hm, next.
[upbeat music]
on the beat huh from the
mean streets of mumbai
I run killing makes
money but it's not fun
I had me some homies but
they got shot with a gun
Yeah, bro. Are you okay?
- Peace.
- Namaskar, baby.
Mera naam todd... Hai
You're a white guy.
I just have one
small requirement.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm married
and I have six children.
No. Sorry.
[sighs] that's it.
We can try again.
Do another casting.
I think the polyamorous father
of six is your best bet,
Given you're near spinsterhood.
So, shall I block his dates?
The more I think about
the backend of the code,
Something is wrong.
Meera, focus. Fake husband.
Oh, honey. Don't
touch your face.
That's only gonna
make you break out,
You don't want that for tonight.
What's tonight?
The 30 under 30
cocktail reception.
Wait what? No, no.
I can't go to that. They're
gonna know I'm a fraud.
The whole industry is
full of frauds, okay?
So, how about you go full
elizabeth holmes on them
And get that money?
Hm-hm?
[instrumental music]
I feel like everyone can
see you right through me.
You better shove that imposter
syndrome right up your...
I mean, you're a genius coder
And you care about
the people you help.
You've created a deeply
impactful company.
The one that's about to be sued
By most important
investor in the city.
Details. [gasps]
I see some vc hunks by the
shrimp. Let's go get that bread!
Can I get a manhattan, please?
And could you move
those? Peanut allergy.
Is there a cherry shortage?
You already have three on there.
Hm, I don't.
[choking]
Wow! Rookie.
You can't even
hold your cherries.
Ha-ha, so funny,
except I could've died.
We know honestly that probably
would've been salvation
From all these investor types.
Shuck, silas.
- You okay?
- Hm. So, so good.
Hm, do you mind staying
right there and blocking me
From that angle?
I'm rama, by the way.
Meera.
So, meera. What
are we hiding from?
The bringer of darkness.
Eater of worlds.
They call him the soul crusher.
He's on your 6 o'clock.
Wow. Intense.
So, what brings you here?
Wow! Pulling out
all the classics.
Um, I'm on the list.
Oh, what a coincidence, so am I.
What are the odds?
What do you do?
I run a company
called dinna time.
The celebrity chef
thing? I've used it.
Oh, you're the one!
How did you get all
the chefs on board?
Let me guess. Threaten
them with hours of banter?
You know what, close, but no.
My parents wanted me to do the
stereotypical indian thing,
You know, become a
lawyer or a doctor
Or take over the family
business, but, um,
I wanted to do something else.
I know the feeling.
I love to cook and I
was a chef for a while.
Meet a lot of great
friends, celebrity ones.
And I guess, I realized that
I'd never be as good as them
So I did the next best thing.
Dinna time.
Might have easier just
to do the "indian thing?"
You know what, honestly,
it probably would've,
But, um, I guess
life has a funny way
Of making other plans.
What about you? What's your
30 under 30 claim to fame?
Oh, mine is an app...
That erases your past.
Wow! You know, I could
honestly use that.
I had this awful
hairstyle back in college.
Shaggy hair with
blonde highlights.
There's this photos on
facebook, it's pretty bad.
- He's gone, by the way.
- Who is?
Silas averly. I'm assuming he
was your "eater of worlds?"
- You know him.
- Yeah, he's one of my investors.
Of course, he is.
Uh, excuse me a moment.
Thank you.
Who is that?
Ah, the creator of dinna time.
Oh, he's cute.
[gasps] what about him?
- "what about him" what?
- Fake husband.
Uh, no, no, no. He has a job.
- Did you ask him?
- Of course not.
- I'll ask.
- No! Don't do that.
Hm-hm. [grunts] okay.
Hello, meera.
Silas.
What a wonderful surprise.
Um, what're you doing here?
Well, obviously, I'm
30 under 30 alumni.
But now I'm a mentor.
Of course you are.
- I'm glad you're here.
- Really?
It saves me the trouble of
having to serve you at home.
"serve you at home."
[clears throat] the papers.
This is your cue to
give her the papers.
Consider yourself... Served.
Have a wonderful night.
[leslie] meera.
I hear you're looking
for a fake husband?
He said yes.
Uh, are you serious?
We can't pay you much or...
Oh, no! You don't have
to pay me anything.
I go to india every
couple of years.
Maybe this will just
spice it up a little bit.
You have no idea how much
you'll be helping me out.
And if you meet my family,
You have enough spice
for a couple of trips.
Sounds like a deal.
Honestly, this is how I imagined
my wedding will always be.
- Fake wedding, marriage.
- Of course, yes.
Sure on the up and up.
Except for the lying and fakery.
Except for the lying and fakery.
- Of course.
- Oh, my god! I have a lot to do.
I have to tell my boyfriend
that I have a fake husband!
Okay, I'll see you all
later. Leslie. Please.
Thanks.
Oh, boy!
P ever.
This isn't a breakup. It's...
You said that you would
support me, right?
Like, a.B.S. Or whatever.
So I am supposed to hang out
with you and your fake husband?
Is this like a threesome thing?
What? No!
I'm confused.
I'll be back in like a week.
[phone dings]
Oh, yo! Damn, the cirque
group chat is going off!
Jebediah the tightrope guy
needs a sub for tonight.
"don't injure your junk
unless it's in the bunk."
That's what I always
say. Right, meera?
[phone ringing]
Uh, dawn? Hey, what's up?
[dawn on phone] silas
offered to drop the chargers
If we sell our tech to him.
No, no, no, no.
- We can't do that.
- [dawn] we can't?
That is definitely
off the table.
[dawn] we're running
out of options, meera.
Okay, bye.
[swooshing]
[upbeat music]
[woman singing in
foreign language]
Okay. What was meera state
champion of in high school?
Debate. She's so
annoying to argue with.
- Debate it is, for sure.
- Correct.
[leslie] yeah, no brainer.
[puru] oh, meera, are you there?
Can you hear me?
Dawn wants to give
the company to silas.
What?
It's the only way he
will drop the lawsuit.
Well, that brought
the mood down.
You have the fake marriage
certificate, right?
Uh, no, I think
that's in your bag.
Oh, right, right.
[leslie] thanks
again for doing this.
Hey, is gray really
your favorite color?
Or are you just
being a contrarian?
Ha. Ha. Just
remember the plan.
Oh, and share enough, so,
they know that you know me.
Are you, are you okay
with the boundaries?
You know, because of aunty...
Oh, yeah. We're just friends.
It's okay. I don't want
anything serious anyway.
Great! Me neither.
[upbeat music]
- Here goes nothing.
- [puru] bhaiya, how much?
[man 1] 300.
- Three...
- Wait.
There is something
I wanna give you.
What's this?
It's a ring, you know,
to add authenticity
To your elaborate and
well-thought out plan.
Whoa!
But, I-I didn't get you...
That's okay, when I realized,
I just grabbed at a duty-free.
I'm simple.
He's simple.
There is nothing
simple about that ring.
[sighs]
- Suresh kaka.
- Meera beta.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.
This is suresh kaka.
He's worked with my aunt and
uncle since I can remember.
Suresh kaka.
[meera] he's basically family.
- I'll take your bag.
- Okay.
Now listen, I know, I told you
that my aunt can be very cold,
So don't expect,
like, a warm welcome.
Honestly, I'd be surprised
if she even acknowledged you.
- Just...
- [kavita] here you are.
Aunty...
Welcome, welcome.
[speaking in hindi]
- Hi.
- Hello.
- This is rama.
- Namaste.
I'm rama.
Welcome to the family.
Oh, what a lovely boy.
He knows how to
respect his elders.
Puru, you are looking
rather american.
Oh, you liking what
you see, aunty ji, huh?
Welcome.
Uncle.
You must be meera's
friend, the lovely leslie.
Oh, yes, that is me,
I'm the lovely leslie.
- Welcome.
- Our home is your home.
Please come on in, everyone.
Okay, perfect.
They are fantastic.
Wow! You didn't
tell me you left a
That was... Really dumb.
Really. Oh, wow!
Now, I want to know
everything about rama.
And why you didn't
invite us to the wedding.
Or didn't even tell us.
Please, forgive us, aunty.
Right, please forgive us.
It's actually entirely my fault.
Meera is completely
innocent here.
We got married in a hurry
Because of what
pandit ji told us.
Oh?
What did he say?
Well, he told us it's
very auspicious time
To get married,
maha sukhmuhurat.
Saturn, jupiter, mars,
venus, sun and moon
And stars were all aligned.
Uh, of course, I refused.
And I said that I will not get
married without the blessings
Of meera's family.
But he insisted and said
that maha shubhmuhurat
Is for that day only, and if we
don't get married on that day,
Our marriage would only
last only one life time
Instead of seven.
Well, I thought that was
a pretty good deal, so...
- I agreed.
- Wow!
I had no idea.
That's beautiful.
Anyway, I assured meera that
once you knew the truth,
You would understand and
you would forgive us.
Do you think I made the
right choice, aunty?
[mellow music]
Of course.
Mahashubhmuhurat doesn't
happen every day, does it, hm?
Truly is a miracle.
Oh, ya. There's no
other word for it.
This is my marriage certificate.
Um, no need to check it on
with lawyers or anything.
It's all in the up and ups.
Always in a hurry for the
most important things in life.
We have plenty of time
for that after the party.
- Hm?
- Pa-party?
What party?
You know, she's always had
this independent streak
About her. Come on, meera.
You don't think
after getting married
And coming all the way
from america to india
We wouldn't want to
celebrate with our relatives?
[laughing nervously] yeah.
[all laughing]
Of course.
Silly of us. [laughing]
Anyway, you must be so tired,
After the long
trip, so freshen up.
Take a nap and we will meet
right back here for dinner.
Yeah, yes.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, I hope you like what
I've done to your room.
Mm. You lovebirds.
Go on.
Puru, you can take her to
the second guest room, yes?
Okay.
Hey, your family's really nice.
[meera] nice? You
thought that was nice?
Oh, yeah. No, you're right.
They are very awful. They are
really, really terrible people.
Congrats, you're now
caught in her web.
You watch, now she's
going to try to control
Every aspect of your life.
Huh! Is this about the party?
Yes, two minutes here and
She's already planning
our itinerary.
And then she has the gall to
call me "too independent."
Classic. Who lights
candles during the day?
Uh, millions of
people, actually.
You know, for prayers,
for wishes, for love.
Look, I'll admit what you
did out there, impressive.
But this is a business deal.
And you're like my employee.
[exhales] okay, boss.
The reason that we're here is
so that I can sign some papers.
So that dawn doesn't
have to settle with silas
And then I can save my company.
Okay, so, could you just
not fall into her web?
Okay, sure. Next
time, I see her,
I'll watch out for those fangs
when she offers me ladoo.
See this? This
is my nightmare.
This is your night...
Roses are your nightmare?
Yes. It's all
so... Presumptuous!
What, that we're
newlyweds in love?
Instead of employee, employer?
I mean, I wonder who
could've given her that idea?
Hm. You know what, whatever.
Uh, I'm gonna get changed,
'cause I've been in
these clothes forever
And I gotta get in
touch with the office.
So...
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
My aunt just knows how
to get under my skin.
[perky music]
- [meera] I appreciate you.
- Appreciate you, too.
Also, I'm taking the bed.
[instrumental music]
[rama] and I just
spilled the whole thing.
And that's how I made gordon
ramsey cry in his own kitchen.
You know, I-I realized like most
people who hide behind bravado,
There is a scared little
child who fears rejection.
Ah. Another great
story. And how true.
You have such amazing stories.
Unlike meera, who is
always sulking at the table
Like she is doing now.
Okay, I-I'm not sulking.
Uh, it is, it's just...
[coughs] so spicy.
[coughs]
I love it.
Yeah, it's not spicy at all.
Yeah. I find that indian
food has an evolving heat.
Whereas american heat
just kind of bashes you
In the face with cayenne.
Lacks the sultry sophistication
of kashmiri red chili.
Exactly!
Meera, it must be so nice
to have a man who has taste.
[chuckling]
How did the two of
you meet? Do tell.
- At a party.
- Online.
Um, actually, I saw
her photo online.
You know, she is in
new york's 30 under 30?
Really?
- Our meera?
- [rama] oh, yes.
She's very modest about
her accomplishments.
- Much like you, aunty.
- Oh! Yes.
I've been known
to be very humble.
Um, anyway, I was at a party
one evening and she was there.
And I swear, it was as if
the air in the room shifted
The moment that she walked in.
You know how in our bollywood
movies there's that moment
Where a love song plays
And all our hero
sees is his heroine?
And the tide of his
life suddenly veers.
Well, it was exactly like that.
I approached her and when
I looked into her eyes,
They were like warm
pools of sunshine
That I could lose myself in.
And when she touched
my hand, it...
I felt as if a thousand
arrows from kamadeva's bow
Had just come straight
into my heart.
Hm.
Oh, kamadeva is the og cupid.
But instead of
being a chubby baby,
He's a handsome young man.
And his arrows are
made of flowers.
I love flowers.
Well, needless to
say, I was smitten.
And when I saw the roses
that you left on our bed,
I was reminded of
that ancient tale
And how I fell in love
with your niece, so...
Thank you, aunty. That was
very thoughtful of you.
And meera loved them,
too, didn't you?
Yeah, roses. Nice touch.
I think I like more
than a thorny rose bush.
I knew you'd like the petals.
Didn't I say so, om, hm?
Hm? Oh, yes, yes.
Darling. Can I see you
for a private moment?
- We're just having a nice...
- Yeah, I need you now.
- Ooh!
- Not like that.
- Yeah.
- Charm.
- Lovebirds.
- Oh, aunty, please.
Don't be silly.
- Hm!
- [om] they are cute.
Cute, cute.
Cheers, guys. The
food is amazing.
Oh, thank you.
[instrumental music]
- What was that?
- What was what?
- If you have ulterior motives...
- Ulterior motives?
My aunt and uncle will not
be investing in dinna time.
[laughs] I have
investors. What are you...
What are you after with
this charm offensive
You got going on, telling
wild tales of hindu gods...
Okay, those are not wild tales.
That's our culture that
everyone's borrowed from.
You know, there would be no
cupid if it wasn't for us.
Look, maybe I'm this way because
I don't know, that's who I am
And I wanna help you.
Look, meera. My
father owns hotels.
Okay, it's the family business.
But I was cut off when I
decided to go my own way too.
Alright, it was a struggle.
So, I get that about you
more than you might know.
I also get that you wanna
show the world who you are,
So you try to work harder than
anyone, and sometimes so hard
That you lose yourself
to who you wanna be,
And in the end you're
neither of those people.
And sometimes, that's the
loneliest place on earth.
I'm not lonely. I have
a boyfriend... I think.
And you don't know me.
You're rigid and you're weird.
And by weird, I mean the
best possible kind. Okay?
But you are cold and distant
to even your closest friends.
You've probably been through a
lot of meaningless relationships
Because you've had your heart
broken by friends, by family,
By men that you
put your trust in.
So, I think you don't seem
to trust anyone or anything
Except for that gnawing
gut feeling inside you
That tells you, "I can be great.
I can do great things."
And you can and you will.
- You think I'm weird?
- And you think I'm charming.
I guess we both hear what
we want to, don't we?
[door knocking]
I hope I'm not
disturbing anything!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, nothing.
Okay. Great, so... Your
aunty wants you back.
She wants to talk party details.
We'll be out in a minute.
Take your time.
- This is just business.
- Mm. See? Cold and distant.
You forgot weird.
- Coming?
- Oh, now you want my charm.
Okay.
What's really going on, puru?
Huh, kavita aunty?
Nothing, I'm just thirsty.
You've been avoiding me.
Me? No, I'm not.
- Yes.
- Okay, I've been avoiding you.
Yes, well, you've been
so busy with party plans
And everything, and I
was like, okay, you...
Stop this, puru.
You know, there is
no excuse for you
To not go and see your mother.
She doesn't even
know you're in india.
And she's even found a lovely
girl from jaipur to meet you.
Yeah.
Um, I will call her.
It's just, I've also been so
busy with meera's company,
And just tiny little
bumps here and there,
Nothing, nothing
that... [hiccups]
[exhales deeply]
I think I'm gassy.
You're a strange boy, puru.
You could learn a
thing or two from rama.
There is something
about him that...
No, he is a great
guy. He is amazing.
He's loving, he's loyal, he's
caring, he's married to meera.
[chuckles] um...
Listen, you scared me when you
jumped out, I've to go and pee.
Hm?
[mellow music]
So, should I care
what's going on
Between silas averly
and your company?
Everything went haywire
when I did our presentation.
This is what happens
when you google him.
Oh, wow!
He's a serial streaker now?
No. We created these fake sites,
And our app was
supposed to delete them.
It was going to be
very, very impressive.
Yeah, I know some people
that paid a lot of money
To delete stuff about
themselves from the internet.
Exactly, and not everyone,
especially younger people,
Can afford that and it
should be accessible.
Right, well, sounds
like your app
Will be important
to a lot of people.
Yeah, well, it
didn't delete them.
Instead, it published
the fake sites.
So, now silas is suing us, and
the only way he will settle
Is if we give him the tech.
So, my company is
doomed unless we...
Can beef up servers,
enhance encryption
And figure out what went
wrong with your code.
- Exactly.
- Let me see.
We're going on the theory
that whoever hacked it
Doesn't want a low-pay
app like ours available.
Interesting ui.
We workshopped that ui to death.
Your start button. Shouldn't
that say "restart?"
I mean, that's what you're
helping people do, right?
Huh. That's actually
a good idea.
You got cut from
the family business?
That must've been hard.
Are you and your
parents not close?
Uh, my dad and I, we were close.
But things got tense
over me not marrying,
And then, well, the family
business was the last straw.
But you visit them every
couple of years, right?
Yeah, mostly to see my mom.
You know, spend a week with her.
- You should see him.
- Yeah.
And you should make
up with your aunt.
At least, you guys are in
the same house together.
What happened with
you two, anyway?
Well, good news. Your
core code is great.
It's difficult to get around.
But it would take big money
To launch a
cyber-attack like that.
What, like how
big? Google big?
Could be.
[birds chirping]
Hello, didi.
Puru, I left my door
unlocked last night.
Remember, aunty.
Keep it on the dl.
Come on. Suresh kaka is waiting.
Okay, let's go.
Oh, I can't wait to see
mumbai. The city of...
I don't know what city of,
but I can't wait to see it.
You guys go on ahead,
I will catch up.
[perky music]
[om] what is it?
An opportunity.
[indistinct chatter]
[man singing in
foreign language]
[song continues]
I used to walk down here
with my family all the time.
We used to come during diwali.
Ah, I loved the fireworks.
Hm, who's that guy?
That is "kala goda,"
meaning black horse.
- "kala goda."
- "kala goda."
I think we should take a
picture next to "kala goda."
Yeah, sure. I think a couple of
pictures there would be great.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go.
Why is he being so weird? I
just wanna take a picture.
You did say you don't
want a relationship.
Yeah, but I don't
want this though.
[song continues]
[indistinct chatter]
[indistinct chatter]
It's beautiful.
It's just like my mom's.
Oh, she must've had good taste.
Yeah, she did.
I miss her.
[jayanti and kareena] meera!
[shrieking]
We did a thing in high school.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Mee-mee! Kareena and
I heard you were back.
- We were at the gymkhanna.
- Yeah.
Just thought of checking out the
nicest stores across the street.
And you must be
the prince charming
That we've heard so much about.
Oh, no, I'm just some guy
That she paid to
play her husband.
[chuckling]
He's hilarious!
Rama, this is
jayanti and karena.
I can't believe you
got married after...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, me. That's
me, married, of course.
Me with this guy.
This hunk of a guy.
- Okay, we need a major catch-up.
- Oh, yes, seriously!
[jayanti] you're thinking
what I'm thinking?
Yeah! No, no, no.
I-I, wait. What?
Karena, catch up.
Club euphoria!
They've got the hottest
act playing tonight.
- Uh, I know. We've...
- We'd love to go.
- Perfect!
- Yes.
It'd be just like
old times, meera.
[jayanti] I'll
text you the deets.
Don't make me come get you.
I know where you live.
And now you too.
- Okay, then. See you!
- We'll see you in the evening.
Bye!
[instrumental music]
- That was fun.
- What was that?
I'm trying to forget
my past, not relive it.
Oh, I'm sorry. You
screamed in unison.
I thought that's
what you wanted.
What I want is for everyone to
please just stick to the plan
So we can get the inheritance
and go back to our lives
In new york.
[indistinct chatter]
[kavita] I asked for a swan.
Why are there ducks
in my house? Shoo!
Krishna!
Get rid of those, now!
[ducks quacking]
I like ducks.
What's all this?
- Who are these people?
- Party planners. Decorators.
Aunty, we really need to
talk about this party.
- I don't wanna...
- Oh, that's cancelled.
[quirky music]
Oh! Great. Fantastic!
I thought that, after seeing
your marriage certificate,
The best thing to do is
to cancel your party.
W-w-why? Is there something
wrong with the certificate?
Because it's super
real. Printed, signed...
T's crossed. I's dotted.
Yeah, witnessed by
us. Leslie and I.
Oh, there's nothing wrong
with the certificate.
Great, yeah. I mean,
why wouldn't it be?
Could I actually get
the inheritance then?
- Of course.
- Amazing.
- After the wedding.
- The what?
Why throw a party when
you can throw a wedding?
- Ah! I already had one!
- Yes, in the eyes of the court.
But not in the eyes of god.
You know, I was under the
illusion the pandit ji
- Actually married you guys.
- Oh...
Aunty, um, he just
told us about the day.
He-he was busy. He was, uh...
Fishing. He was busy
fishing. He's an avid fisher.
Um, it was also an auspicious
time to go out fishing.
And what did he say? Mahi
mahi shubhmuharthe...
- And just went off fishing.
- [leslie] but we were all there!
Myself, meera, rama,
and very unfunny puru.
Be that as it may.
God has decided to tell me
that this is our chance to...
How did you say,
uh, start again?
- We can't do it.
- Oh!
We have to go back. We
can't plan a wedding...
What's kavita
aunty here for, hm?
I will handle
everything. Not to worry.
- Om, we've got to discuss that.
- Mm-hmm!
- I have to tell her.
- Don't.
Wait, wait, wait!
[quirky music]
[phone vibrating]
[clears throat]
We're...
We're gonna go out
tonight to celebrate.
Mm-hmm.
[meera] I-I thought
we're gonna need a car,
But we're gonna take a cab!
- The cab!
- Yeah, it's the best.
- It's the best option.
- Yeah, take a cab, hm.
[puru] s-see you!
[kavita] you, can you
please get these ducks
Out of my house?
I need a drink.
[upbeat music]
- They got nothing on you, babe.
- Oh, I don't care.
We're not together. He
can have fun tonight!
[chuckles]
If I cannot start again,
I'm going to drink
the past away.
What about aunty?
Mmm, she can have fun tonight,
too, and then, tomorrow,
I will tell her the truth
and crush her dreams.
Okay. You are definitely buzzed.
Mmm. Buzz...
[music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
That was amazing.
- That was just, wow!
- Oh, there are shots.
Meera, why didn't you tell us
rama was such a great dancer?
- And so cute!
- You okay?
Yeah, perfect. Never better.
I'm surprised you caught
this one. She is a runner.
I mean, um, she was quite a
wild child back in school.
Yeah, but my baby has
tamed the beast, you see.
- Haven't you, baby?
- Hey, we all have a past.
You know, as long as you don't
let it affect your future,
And that's exactly why meera
came up with the best app ever.
Honestly, she's the
smartest woman I know.
Aw, that's so sweet!
So, puru...
Remember when you put the
moves on me back in school?
I'm all grown, and
I'd like to show you
- Some moves of my own.
- Oh!
Didn't you get married?
Took a leaf out
of your playbook.
No ring on this finger.
I'm trying to convince
kareena to do the same,
But she's a romantic,
just like rama.
- What? I just love my husband.
- That's boring.
Loosen up a little. But
things change, you know.
You've grown into
such a sexy man.
[upbeat music]
[female announcer]
hey, party people!
The moment you all have
been waiting for...
Meera, you're
going to love this.
I'm so sorry.
[female announcer] give a
loud welcome to our headliner.
Back in his hometown for
one night only, dj-x!
[electronic music]
It's your boy dj-x in the house!
[crowd cheering]
He used to dj my
basement parties.
And now he tours the
world. Hot, right?
What's wrong?
[jayanti] meera!
Uh, he's also
meera's ex-boyfriend.
She used to be crazy about him.
I thought you said
this dj ex was a dork.
Dork no more. Ugh, jayanti.
She's still doing the
same stupid shit she did
- When we were teens.
- We can split.
[music continues]
No. It is time to dance.
[music continues]
- Is there only one bathroom?
- Phew, seriously!
[indistinct chatter]
Meera?
Hey, x. What is up?
[chuckles]
Well, when jayanti told me
That you were
coming for my show,
- I could not believe it.
- You were the one djing?
- Yeah.
- I barely noticed.
[dj-x chuckles]
So, uh...
Can we go to some place quiet?
- Meera.
- Oh, it's okay.
I'm-I'm not even drunk.
Sure. All right, let's go.
- Yeah, let's go.
- To the dj.
- Righty. Bye!
- Bye!
[music continues]
So, did you like my show?
I don't get dj's.
Like, you're not,
like, real musicians.
Lotta like boopity-boop
boopity boop-boop-boop.
Push buttons, but whatever.
People people like
it or whatever.
I was pretty good at pushing
your buttons. Remember, meera?
All I remember is you
pushing the angry button
And the sad button.
You bailed on me when they
tried to get me married off!
I mean, it's-it's
okay. I'm married now.
I got proof!
Proof!
Meera, we were kids, really.
And, babe, trust me.
It took me a long
time to realize
That you were the one
that got away. Yeah.
Why didn't you come and find me
During your so-called
realization?
I'm not, like, waldo.
I'm pretty easy to find.
[clears throat]
- It's all fake.
- What?
- It's all fake anyway.
- What, what?
Me, me, me, me, meera.
- If I could just hit start.
- Yeah.
- Restart.
- Yeah.
- Then start again.
- Yeah.
Oh, if I could get that
app to work, I swear.
Sure, sure, sure, meera.
Whoa! Wha-what are
you doing? Wait up.
Meera, you just said
you wanted to restart.
- Not-not on us, stupid!
- Come on, meera.
You wanted to...
[upbeat music]
[gasping]
[crowd exclaiming]
Meera, are you okay?
Hey, look at me.
I can't bre...
Peanuts, peanuts!
[choking]
[gasping]
You're okay.
You okay? Let's go.
Meera! What happened?
Are you okay?
Yeah, you forgot?
Peanut allergy.
Oh, no, um. See, I'm so sorry.
I didn't even think of that.
Yeah, well, thinking was never
one of your strong suits.
This guy give you
peanuts or something?
Well, it was an accident, bro.
- Hi, x.
- Yeah, I'm rama. Her husband.
Oh, so you are the dude
who locked her down.
Congrats, buddy. And I'm so
sorry for the peanut lips.
- You kissed her?
- Yeah, she's fine.
She's fine? Bro,
she could have died!
Where do you get
off kissing my wife?
Bro, relax. It is
harmless, okay?
And look, she's still breathing.
- Right. Hey!
- She's okay.
[groaning]
Hey, bro, relax.
It's harmless.
You're still breathing. Idiot!
You just said the same line.
[laughing]
Hey, I'm here.
[engine revving]
It's him.
Ugh! Uh-oh, oh!
[retching]
Wow. That feels like I
got all of it out of me.
- Yeah. Because you did.
- I'm great.
[indistinct chatter[
Okay, let's get you up here.
Um... My face feels funny.
Okay, that's 'cause
that's my face.
You're so right, rama.
It's just so hard
doing this by myself.
I get overwhelmed.
People say I'm...
A water on duck.
You know, I'm pretty sure
people don't say that.
But inside, I...
I-I-I feel like I'm a cocoon
before it becomes a duck.
Yeah, th-that's not how the
saying goes, but that's okay.
I ran away.
Did you know that?
I left a guy at the altar...
And I left my family.
[mellow music]
To become a failure.
Hey, you're not a failure, okay?
You're just trying to figure
it out like everyone else.
Well, will you just hold
me, please, for a second?
I'm not-I'm not gonna
throw up on you.
Hmm.
Mmm.
You're gonna make a
really great wife...
To a really great husband.
You're just gonna
be really great.
Mmm. Yeah, well, that
was the plan... Sort of.
[scoffs]
Hey, meera, I need to
tell you something.
I haven't been completely
honest you, I...
I'm not who you think
I am. I'm, what's...
[mellow music]
Meera?
[woman singing in
foreign language]
- That's very good. Excellent!
- Shut it off, please!
[laughing]
Meera, that was quite
the rest you had.
It's almost noon.
Stayed up late?
Oh, god, uh...
Yeah, I-I guess...
Yeah, we just sleep
really well together.
Honey, can I see you a sec?
[birds chirping]
- You want to get out of here?
- Yes, please.
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
I just can't take it.
You should just let
me tell her the truth.
Yeah, but then your
company would be ruined.
I left so that I-I
could live my truth.
Why am I having
to lie to live it?
I don't know. Maybe we could
live it a little longer until...
What? Get married for real?
[music continues]
Why?
I don't know, I think
what your company is doing
Is important, you know,
we've already come so far.
We can get annulled.
You can tell people that
I was too good for you.
They would definitely
believe that.
Why are you so nice to me?
Actually, you know,
when I first met you,
I thought you were
way too into yourself.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
But then I realized,
you're just passionate.
And even though that
passion can be infuriating,
It's what makes you who you are.
And if I can be a part
of keeping that fire,
Then, that's a win for me.
And if it's any comfort,
It'll still be a sham marriage.
Is that what you want? A sham?
[phone vibrating]
- What is it?
- Uh, it's my mom.
Take it.
You shouldn't ignore
a call from your mom.
Hey, amma.
How are you? How's dad?
[rama] yeah, I'd love to
see you. You're gonna cook?
Okay, I love you, then.
Yeah, no, it's good.
So... They're
still not back yet?
- No.
- Oh.
I think they ran
away and eloped.
You know, this whole pretending
thing may work for meera,
But... I miss you.
[quirky music]
- Kavita aunty will never know.
- Are you sure?
'cause I thought you
wanted this to be casual.
I did. It was a
defense mechanism.
But being out here,
you've really grown on me.
Mm.
Um, I'm a grower,
they always say.
But... If you want to keep
it on the dl, I get it.
Aunty scares me, you know.
And... I've got these
old-fashioned parents
And she's got them on
speed dial. It's crazy.
Well, you gotta man up.
- Oh, I can man up, baby.
- Oh, can you?
- Oh, you want me to? Mm?
- Mm-hmm.
Chris?
Hey, guys.
Well, what are you
doing here, man?
Grand gesture, bro. I
read about it online.
Chicks dig it and I dig meera.
That's love.
Plus, I have not had
sex in, like, a week.
That is love for
sure. Um, listen...
- She's not here!
- Yeah, she's not here.
[kavita] look, this is
ridiculous. This is india.
Come on, bro. Let's go!
Um... She just left
for her flight.
You know what, go
get to the airport!
- What?
- Yeah.
She read the same
article as you.
- Grand gestures!
- Grand gestures, man!
Go, surprise her mid-flight.
Sing her a song from
an adam sandler film!
- Uh, that's solid advice.
- Yeah.
But I got a crap voice.
- I could pirouette?
- For sure.
Well, I'm sure airlines
love it when people, like,
- Jump around on their planes.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Let's go!
- Okay.
I'm not running a
petting zoo here.
I'm trying to hold a
wedding! Yes, thank you!
Aunty, aren't we a pair?
What are you doing here?
I live here.
W-what's going on
outside? Someone here?
[speaking in hindi]
- All right, brother.
- Hey, man.
- See you, man.
- See you!
Okay, have a good flight!
[engine whirring]
Oh, that guy? Your funny
story. He's an acrobat.
And I thought he might be
nice for the reception.
That's different.
Yeah, he could swing
from the arches.
Phew!
Wow! Tourists, huh?
That guy was looking
for an ashram.
I said, "dude, does this
look like an ashram to you?"
- I sent him right on his way.
- I thought he was an acrobat.
An acrobat...
Yeah, an acrobat at
the ashram, of course.
Yeah, um...
Anyway, lots to do!
Gotta go. See you. Bye!
[clears throat]
Om, do you think puru
should tell some jokes
At the reception?
No, I don't think...
Oh, I'd pay to see that.
Yeah?
Finally! Where
have you guys been?
We have to ask you something.
When's the wedding?
[mellow music]
[sighs]
[kavita] beautiful. Oh,
she's got his name in there.
You know, they say that if
the color doesn't catch,
- It's a bad omen.
- Hmm.
So make sure you don't use
your hand until it's dry, okay?
[speaking in hindi]
I can't believe
you're doing this.
- I mean, I can. It's obvious.
- What is?
I've seen the way
you look at rama
When you think he can't see you.
Th-that's-that's not
what... It's business.
- Is he giving you the business?
- Shut up!
Go, go and get me a drink, okay?
How?
[chuckles]
Okay.
- Oh, hi, rama!
- Ooh, you look nice.
Oh, thank you.
What is this?
This is lemon and sugar.
Keep the mehndi moist,
so it catches darker.
The darker it catches,
the better your luck.
You know, I actually
just heard that.
Mm-hmm.
Although you said it in a more
Glass half-full kind of way.
H-how do you know this?
Ha-ha, well, I have two sisters.
So, they used to practice on me.
Mostly hennaing stupid
things on my face.
[chuckles]
But trust me, this is the secret
To my clear complexion,
- Lemon and sugar.
- Ooh.
[instrumental music]
Your parents coming
to the wedding?
Uh, I just said that
out loud. Wedding.
[chuckles]
Uh, no, I don't,
I don't think so.
I think it's my dad's, well...
Yeah.
You should go see them.
I made a lot of bad choices
'cause I didn't have them around
To guide me.
Well, you have your
aunt and uncle.
Kind of.
My aunt got thrust from this
friend role to this parent role.
And I didn't really
want a new mom.
They tried their
best, but I guess
We just never really
got through it.
Can't change the past.
[music continues]
Hey, it's okay.
We're figuring it out now.
Thanks to you, honestly.
[chuckles]
You kind of like me, don't you?
Shut up.
Hey, there's something I've
been wanting to tell you.
Wait.
Change, in the past. I'm
so stupid. That's it!
[instrumental music]
I-I don't have time... Work.
[keys clacking]
Sorry about that. What
are you doing? Need help?
I'm just checking all
code merges from the days
Before the presentation.
It's gonna take a while, but
should be able to connect
The timestamps from the server
computers to the user profile
That made all the changes.
[sighs]
Okay.
There, look at that.
The mehndi took. I guess
I'm not doomed after all.
[chuckles]
- Hi!
- Hello, aunty.
- How are you, aunty?
- How are you?
You look fabulous.
Enjoy yourselves.
[song continues]
Wait a second. I'll be back.
[quirky music]
You would not believe
where I've been, bro.
I love india.
Yeah, man.
The rickshaw driver
and I stopped for paan
And that's when
things got crazy.
I guess it was laced
with some psychedelics.
We had this great chat,
pure mental communication
Through our third eyes and then
We ended up at this
local ashram, right?
They bring out a tiger and they
want me to fight the tiger.
And I was scared, but I
looked at the tiger's eyes
And he was scared too.
And that's when I
knew we were one.
So I went over to him
and I said, "meow!"
And impressed all the
locals and they said,
"you are our new monk."
Took me a couple hours, but
I achieved enlightenment
Which isn't as much as
everyone makes it out to be.
Don't worry about it,
if you never get there.
And then, when I came
back to the city,
I met this beautiful
woman. Uh, there she is.
She brought me here, to
meera's wedding. Do you see?
So now when they ask
if anyone objects,
I'm gonna jump up
and make my move.
Yeah, I don't think that
happens in indian weddings, man.
Okay, bro. I think
she's moved on.
And... You should go back home.
He's my plus one, puru.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah.
It's sad, you know. He
could use some more "oms."
Definitely.
You can't run away this time.
I've bolted all the windows.
Oh, let her be. Meera,
we are here for you.
She's just happy that
I'm finally having
An indian wedding.
Tell her.
[instrumental music]
Just tell me.
Meera... You know,
when you came to us,
You were already so
independent, smart.
Free-spirited.
I didn't know how to be
a good mother to you.
But that's all I've
really wanted to be.
So I did the next best thing.
To honor my sister's
final wishes
That when you got married,
you would get your inheritance
And you could go away to live
a new life with a new family.
The best thing I could
do to support you...
Was to let you go, meera.
Though all I really wanted
was for you to stay.
But you know, I'm so proud
of you for finding somebody
To love all on your own.
We're so glad
you're finally home
And letting us do this for you.
[mellow music]
I know that back
then I was difficult.
I guess I was blinded
in my own grief,
But I... I kinda appreciate
the kinds of sacrifices
You both made to just
try to keep me happy...
And how hard it
must've been for you.
- I'm sorry.
- No!
I really, I really am.
[music continues]
Oh, you got no idea
what I just saw.
There he is, our lovely puru.
You know if you and
leslie want to live in sin
Out of wedlock,
we're okay with that.
- Mm, what-what do you mean?
- It's so obvious.
You're very funny, but
you're a terrible liar.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
I'm game if you are.
[gasps]
- Not here!
- Oh, sorry!
I think we should
give meera a minute.
- You too.
- Let's go.
You gave me some
good advice before.
I do not know if it
was all that good.
It brought me to this moment.
Well, something is
missing from this moment.
- My mother's necklace.
- Put it on.
You know, I also lost my
parents when I was very young
Like you did.
And that is why I think we
got along so well together.
Your aunt has always
loved you unconditionally.
And tonight, she
was being honest.
That took a lot from her.
Isn't it time you do the same?
[music continues]
[pensive music]
[music continues]
Is it me or does it seem like
They're actually
into each other?
Don't worry, I've got a
feeling it's gonna end
Just the way it
did a decade ago.
[music continues]
[music continues]
Aunty... Uncle.
I can't do this. I
can't deceive you.
This is a sham.
We're not married.
[meera] rama was
just doing me a favor
So I could get my inheritance.
My company was in trouble
and-and I just blurted out
What I thought you
wanted to hear.
But what's the point in
success if I can't share it
With my family?
Rama helped me realize
that what was missing
From-from everything I
achieved was you two.
Three.
[indistinct chatter]
[crickets chirping]
I'm so sorry.
I've put you through way
more than I asked for.
But, you know... I've had
the greatest time with you
These last few days.
I hope someday you
can forgive me.
"dear, groom, I know that
I picked the worst time,
But it'd be unfair
to you and myself
If I let us go
through with this."
[instrumental music]
How... Do you know that letter?
You know, I've read
it so many times
It's just burnt on my mind.
You were that groom?
But his name was agastya.
Americans can't
pronounce agastya,
So I went with my middle name.
Rama.
Yeah.
You did all of this...
Just to get back at me?
What? No!
[crowd exclaiming]
Damn!
[sobbing]
[rama] meera, wait...
[dramatic music]
I'm so sorry.
[mellow music]
I can't imagine what I
put you and uncle through.
No, not as much as
that boy, meera.
You know, I can't believe
I didn't recognize him.
I can.
And considering how
many boys we looked at,
- I may be face blind now.
- Yeah, chi!
- She's better off rid of him.
- I feel bad for him though.
- Poor boy.
- What? He lied to her, om.
You know, I agree with uncle.
I mean, come on.
The dude likes you.
He-he probably loves you.
He's been pining away so long.
Yeah, he's not doing this
for money. He only wants you.
Even the parts
about you that suck.
You owe him a conversation.
This is terrible advice
you both are giving her.
I won't let you
influence her like this.
Wait a minute, aren't
you the one who said that
He was a good boy? And then
when you met him... Again?
Yes, but that was
before I knew him, no?
Ah!
You know, I'm sure
he wants to go viral
With some revenge trick
against the girl who left him
Stranded at the altar
or something like that.
It's like that show that
puru keeps watching.
He wasn't doing a punk'd, aunty.
Ah! That, "punk'd."
[clears throat]
[music continues]
Did your aunty ever tell
you about our introduction?
- No.
- No.
She wouldn't meet
with me either.
- What?
- [om] yeah.
Your grandparents
had to drag her,
Kicking and screaming
to our house.
That sound familiar, sweetheart?
Is that true?
Oh, my memory's foggy.
And even after she came, she
refused to wear any makeup
Or get dressed up.
She came with a t-shirt, jeans,
And a whole lot of attitude.
She insisted she would
be wearing plain clothes
Most of our lives so why
present herself as anyone else?
Wait. So what made
you say yes to her?
[music continues]
She was different,
and although I knew
I would have to put
up with a lot of,
What is it you kids
call it nowadays?
- Extra.
- Yeah, extra.
I also knew whatever
that extra was,
I would never be bored.
Also her ass looked
amazing in those jeans.
[chuckles]
Om!
[laughing]
[mellow music]
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
Amma!
Amma.
Suresh, count the
number of pieces, yeah?
- Ah, yeah.
- Okay.
I'm gonna miss you guys so much.
- Oh, leslie.
- Yeah.
But thanks for
calling mom and dad.
You better go and
see them next time.
Ah! I will.
[chuckles]
Okay.
I'll see you sooner rather
than later this time.
Perhaps sooner if
my company tanks.
We're family. We'll cover
you as much as we can.
Until you finally,
eventually get married.
Till then, your inheritance
is gaining interest.
Mmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, who's that?
Uh, excuse me a minute.
[music continues]
Hi, chris.
I-I-I'm glad you're here.
- Look, this thing between...
- Shh.
[quirky music]
I don't want you to embarrass
yourself with a big speech
In front of your family, but
our journey has come to an end.
They've asked me to play the
villain in a bollywood movie.
He's a british general
who joins the circus.
Anyway, I just wanted
to tell you in person.
And give you a chance
to say goodbye.
This is a lot to take in.
But, um...
I'm proud of you.
[music continues]
Bye, chris.
[speaking in hindi]
[birds chirping]
Your favorite.
Prodigal son returns. Still
single though, I hear.
- Oh, mom told you?
- Didn't have to.
I could smell it on you.
[chuckles] arey,
idiot. Gossip travels.
I knew before you
got into your car.
I still can't believe she
made a fool out of you again.
She didn't make a fool of
me the first time, dad.
She actually showed me
what I was supposed to be.
- What? A cook?
- A little more than a cook now.
So where is your
restaurant in america?
Sold it. Built a
successful app.
You never gave up on your dream.
So why are you
giving up on love?
Uh...
[instrumental music]
I-I tricked her, dad.
And love is just a trick
of the heart, isn't it?
Who cares what jadoo
or kis led to pyar,
But if she feels it, too, you
owe it to yourself to try.
Uh, she's-she's pretty mad.
If you love her, the
best you could do
Is ask for her forgiveness.
[instrumental music]
Eat!
[anil chuckles]
[engine whirring]
[phone vibrating]
Holy crap! I knew it.
What?
Did a certain groom
you keep leaving
At the altar just text you?
I just got back the results
From the analysis I
sent in on the code
And we were definitely hacked.
I knew it.
And it originated
from averley servers.
Holy crap! Silas is
trying to steal our code!
That's crazy! Call the fcc or
the fbi or whoever handles this!
- Yeah.
- I have enough proof.
We can fix this and we'll
definately not be settling
The lawsuit by
giving him our tech!
[bike horn honking]
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
Do you want me to lose him?
- Grand gestures, man.
- Meera.
The guy is chasing you
out on a motorcycle
After you dumped him twice.
I think you should hear
what he has to say.
- I don't care.
- [leslie] yes, you do.
You may never see him
again. Stop the car!
[music continues]
Listen... We like you.
But we love her. Understood?
Got it.
Can we talk?
Look, meera, do you know
what I saw on that day
We were supposed to
meet for the first time?
I watched you fight to forge
your own path on my driveway.
- Sorry about the potted plant.
- We replaced it.
Look, after you left, I was
pushed even harder to marry.
And then I heard that you went
to america all by yourself.
Like, you had the courage to
fight for what you wanted.
How-how could I not do
the same? You inspired me.
[mellow music]
Oh.
And when I saw
you at that party,
I recognized you instantly.
And I wanted to say thank
you for what you did.
So why didn't you,
instead of lying
About literally everything?
I intended to, and then,
I remembered that you were
So opposed to the
mere idea of me
That you ran ten
thousand miles away.
Then I went and I talked to
you, and you were amazing.
You were funny, sweet,
Totally frantic and
obsessed with your job.
And then, when leslie
pitched in the idea, well,
I thought maybe this was
my chance to show you
Who I really am.
Stupid charm offensive.
You might think that I never
thought about what I did to you.
But, of course, I did.
I was young and stupid.
Sometimes I even regretted it.
We would have hated each other.
Who says we don't now?
[music continues]
If I never left...
I would have never
found my own way.
But if you hadn't
come into my life...
I would have never
found my way back.
So where does that leave us now?
I think...
I think if you're still willing,
Three attempts later...
Maybe we can hit restart?
Restart, huh? That's
pretty catchy.
It'd be good on a
button somewhere.
[instrumental music]
You had one good idea.
Don't let it go to your head.
[instrumental music]