Aswang (2018) Movie Script

Good afternoon, Albay!
You know, I am so happy
we are together this afternoon.
And we have a very special
guest for today.
But before we meet him,
we prepared a video
for all of you.
Here, watch this.
Believe it or not,
Asuang is Gugurang's brother.
Back then, they still lived
in peace and order.
But Asuang got jealous
of his brother's power.
He wanted the power
of the Sacred Fire
into his own mountain.
My enchanted mask is gone!
Asuang ruined my reputation!
He stole my moon!
You know why he did that?
Because that is what the demon
really looks like
when the moon shines
on his face!
So using his
power of invisibility,
he took the Sacred Fire
away from May on Volcano,
spreading darkness and chaos
all over the world.
Good thing Gugurang
was able to take it back
and punish Asuang.
Ladies and gentlemen,
for the first time ever,
we will meet the God of Sins.
None other than Asuang!
Welcome to the show.
Come here, come here!
Don't be shy, now. Hello!
Asuang, I am very happy
you could join
us this afternoon.
But I am just very curious,
I just want to know.
Asuang, how does it feel
to be on the show today?
Because it is your first...
Are you making fun of me?
Of course not, sir. Sorry!
Have you interviewed
Fernando Poe, Jr. here?
Yes, sir!
- How about Dolphy?
- Dolphy... Yes!
- How about Ina Raymundo?
- Ina Raymundo. Uh...
Let's proceed
to our questions, Asuang.
What can you say
about your relationship
with your brother Gugurang?
Why must you mention that name?
It's time you learn the truth
about that god of yours!
Here's how it goes...
Ladies and gentlemen,
also with us this afternoon,
none other than the God of Good
himself! Gugurang!
Welcome to the show!
- Ah, you're looking good!
- Hello! Yes, yes.
Welcome to the show.
Please, sit down!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Isn't this fun?
- Uh...
Are you really the God of Good?
Or a god who steals
the spotlight?
Ouch, ouch, ouch, big brother!
Let's get on with the show.
Get on with the show.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
I'll get straight to the point.
We all want to know,
where is Bulan's moon?
Is this an ambush?
You brought me here
to embarrass me
in front of everyone?
Then stay together, all of you!
You fools who believe
in this god!
You are a good
for nothing brother!
You will never ever
see me again!
Oh, please, you can't even
go invisible properly.
That's right.
You find this too funny, huh?
You will all pay for this.
You will all pay for this!
He turned himself into balls!
Quail eggs balls!
- Are we ready to start?
- Is everything set?
Alright.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
There we go.
There.
After we have blended
the ingredients,
it's now time to cut
the chicken.
Here, let me show you
the chicken. There, right?
Whoops, see?
Whoops, whoa!
It's still alive! Whoops!
Do you want it hard
or soft, sir?
This should be lean.
And keep the skin in place.
This is a bit tough.
Ouch!
Uh, Director Ai... Aico,
can you switch
on the stove for me?
- It's "Aica."
- Right. Director Aica, can you?
I don't know
how to switch it on, you see.
Do you know how?
That's not really my...
I'm no techie.
Whoa!
You are good, director!
Could you put the pot
on the stove, too?
Is that okay?
There. Perfect.
And then click
the record button, too, please.
- The nerve.
- Never mind, I'll do it.
Okay, we're all set!
Now it's time to taste it.
Okay, so let's try
the ingredients.
Delicious!
Tune in again next week
for another edition
of Cooking with Asuang!
Um, don't forget to like
the video and subscribe!
Whoo!
Are you still rolling?
I can still taste the... spices.
Cooking Videos are popular
right now, you see.
Even Judy Ann has one.
And there's this new guy,
Erwan, right?
He's okay,
but he's not that good.
Nobody uses cookbooks
anymore. Whoa.
They just collect dust
because everything's online now.
But cooking videos like these
are big hits.
Because people can see
how it's done step by step.
So how many videos
have you done?
Um, I've made about ten videos.
My first one,
I made Bicol Express.
Then I've done the usual
Filipino favorites
like adobo and sour stew.
Eventually, I'll try
international cuisine too.
Like caviar, uh, foie gras...
And Asian dishes like bac pho...
Uh, I'd reach a wider audience
that way.
Actually, I sent Chef
Boy Logro a message.
Chef Boy Logro, right?
I said,
"Chef, let's collaborate!
"Let's do something...
you know, fusion."
I haven't heard from him yet.
Tikboy! Could you...
Come here.
The key to creating content
is your branding.
Other social media influencers
focus on just one thing.
Uh, just food, just travel.
I'm not like that.
I'm versatile.
Just like a convenience store.
I got it all for you.
What's your favorite content?
I'm a... Actually, I'm an avid
fan of rapper Shanti Dope.
Um, I think he's one
of the best musicians
in this generation.
And I think, uh, he's the best.
He's the best.
For me, it's like...
I'm also a fan of Mozart,
so it's like Mozart
and then Shanti Dope.
So like just three notches down.
Uh, for this video,
I will, um, cover
his song, uh, "Mau."
"Mau" as in Maureen.
Come here
Your smile is the reason
Hey, KitKat, he has a new post.
He's eating roasted chicken.
Come on, hurry.
I want you to see
what will happen to you
if you piss me off.
My pet Yao Ming
Will water
Your grassy garden
You know,
I read an article once.
It said one of the most
trending videos right now
are the toy unboxing ones.
So I buy toys
that not many people know about
and I unbox them
and teach my viewers
how to play with them.
Just so the kids know
how they work. See?
Then I rate the toy
in the video.
If it's okay, I give it
a thumb up. Just one thumb.
But why is that
- Her nipple is so dark?
- Psst! Hey!
I don't really give anything
a thumbs down.
Just to support the toy makers
and those who came up
with the idea.
There's a chicken
in the frame, director.
So? What do you want?
Back in my day...
I'm as old as time, you know.
Uh, we didn't have such toys
back then.
So today's kids are so lucky
to have these.
You're so noisy!
We're recording here.
Ignore KitKat,
she only wants attention.
She has no followers, you see.
Unlike me. The Asuang.
- Mike, roll the camera.
- Okay.
What's he up to?
What is that?
I think he's stalking someone.
Wait. There.
See that? What is it?
Who is that?
My eyesight is so bad.
- Are those abs?
- Why is he into abs?
He is watching...
Is he gay?
- I don't know.
- Oh. I didn't know you're here.
Come on in! Come in, come in!
Come over here.
Hi, hello.
Hello.
- Hello. Hi.
- Hi.
Come in, come in.
- Have you been here long?
- No, not really.
Just in time.
What's that?
Why is there a snake here?
You son of a bitch, Jomar!
Oh, that's just KitKat.
Why are you even here?
- Her name is KitKat?
- Yes, KitKat.
He said her name is KitKat.
So that's why
the bitch has highlights on!
My bladder almost exploded.
Come on in!
This guy's with you, right?
Come in!
It's okay, Mike can stay there.
Is the snake angry?
So this is KitKat.
It really likes attention.
That snake looks
way better than me.
Hi, I'm KitKat.
Why do you like Harry Prince?
Harry Prince used to be so fat,
you know.
He was too fat.
When he was a kid,
he was so big,
everybody laughed at him.
One day he decided,
"I'm not going
to be fat anymore."
So, he exercised a lot
and lost weight.
Then he would post
his workout every day,
how much effort and dedication
he was putting into it.
But I'm not gay. I'm just a fan.
Gonna flex this! Watch this!
Whoo! This is Juan Mig!
He has a hype man
right there, see?
That's someone who supports
and compliments him.
So that's what I'm doing
at my party tomorrow.
I'm rebranding my image.
Oh, my! That was fun!
Uh. So, how's it going
with this indie film so far?
Uh, we're good. We got a lot
of good footage today.
- Really? Really.
- Yeah.
Here's a tip, director.
Each shot should have a story.
Bet you haven't heard
of that one.
Just like Harry Prince, right?
When he traveled to Greece?
He met Zeus and Poseidon, right?
You mean at sea? That Poseidon?
Are you guys sure
you don't want to eat?
You didn't eat
the whole time you were here.
- Let's eat before you go.
- No, it's okay.
We still have to edit
today's footage.
How about you, Chona?
You really should
eat something, Chona.
It's Chelsea.
Oh, it's Chelsea?
I thought it was Chona.
So you're Chelsea, he's Jomar!
Yeah, but can you
call me Shomar instead.
Just to soften it, because
my face is so hard already.
Shomar sounds better.
I see. Do you want to eat?
Come on, guys, let's eat first.
No, I have this thing
with my partner.
- We're going out on a date.
- Oh, date.
- Yeah.
- I get it!
Uh, maybe Mike wants
something to eat.
How about it, Mike?
You've been holding
that camera all day.
Next time, sir.
I have a lot to do.
- Yeah?
- Maybe next time.
Right. You're all busy.
Yeah. Next time, Asuang,
we promise.
- That's a promise?
- Yeah.
If you guys need anything,
let me know.
If you want, I can help you
with editing.
I can edit!
What do you use?
Is it iMovie?
- What do you think, director?
- Yeah, we have to go.
- Okay, thanks, guys!
- See you next time!
Wait, director.
Can I talk to you for a bit?
- Oh, sure.
- We won't be long.
Wait for me there.
Uh, director,
I just want to ask you if...
you want to be my hype man.
What... what do you mean?
This film you're making...
it's going to restore
my good name, right?
- The New Asuang.
- Right.
- Right! You get it! You get me!
- Right!
Fist bump!
- There. Whoosh.
- Whoosh. Okay, okay!
Director,
I can't thank you enough!
- Thank you too!
- You're the best!
You're the best! Thanks again!
- Yeah!
- Thanks, guys! Take care! Bye!
What did he say?
- That I'm his hype man.
- What?
Hype man, my ass!
There it goes again.
- Not another earthquake.
- It seems stronger this time.
Is it over? Mike, Mike.
There's a cockroach
on your shoulder.
- Where?
- Wait, wait! Come on!
Hey!
Gosh, It's just a cockroach.
Come on, let's eat.
Let's go, guys!
I could eat that cockroach.
Hey, guys!
How was the shoot?
- Hi, babe.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey, man.
- Hi, Bert.
I'm sorry, I had
a prior commitment.
Prior, really.
- Okay.
- You could've... Fine, okay.
- Bye, Mike.
- Let me do that, bro.
Mm. Yeah, take over.
Sit beside me, babe.
Slow down, director.
They're beer nuts, not rice.
I'll turn you into a beer nut.
Mind the camera memory.
Turn it off!
Look at these stupid folks,
stepping on lava.
If I pour May on Volcano's lava
on these people...
it'll burn their nuts off.
- What a waste!
- Mm-hmm.
- Director. Aica.
- What?
Tell me again
why we're doing this?
Is this some trip you're on?
I just think
that once and for all,
Asuang must be exposed,
you know.
People deserve to know
who he really is.
I mean, just like what we do
in our other documentaries.
But I think...
Asuang has changed.
- I think so, too.
- Seems like it.
No, my point is...
He's already deceived
and manipulated you guys,
along with many other people.
But if you look closely,
you can see right through him.
So what happens
after you expose Asuang?
Why are you even
on my team, Bert?
You're only after the awards,
you see.
Don't you want a sense of...
- Full... Full, push, pull...
- What?
- Fulfillment!
- Exactly!
Sorry, my tongue itches
from the peanuts.
- Sense of fulfillment!
- Ma'am,
I want two orders
of laing with principles,
two orders of conscience...
and a glass of speed too.
Thank you!
Ma'am, do you have...
Wait, I'm getting the laing!
Hey, we said it's for dine-in,
not to go.
Gosh, you're fat
but you got no brain.
Come in, guys!
- Hi. Morning.
- Hi. Good morning!
Do you want breakfast?
I made pancakes.
Ah, no, thanks, we're good.
- Are you sure? Okay.
- It's okay. Yeah.
- Hey, put the buffet table...
- Roll it, Jomar.
In the center so the guests
see it as they come.
Are you... Are you getting this?
Did you feel the earthquake
last night? That was strong.
Yeah, and it's happening
more often.
Yes, because May on Volcano
is erupting anytime now.
So get ready,
there'll be lots of death.
So are you sure
you don't want pancakes?
- They're good.
- Are you serious?
Of course, they're good.
I made them myself.
- Two thumbs up.
- No, no, no. I mean...
about May on erupting soon.
Oh, yeah, seriously.
Come on.
You mortals probably delayed it
by offering gifts
to my big brother,
but I don't think it would
still work this time.
You made him so angry.
But don't worry.
I think he's only going to kill
the bad people.
But I'm not sure!
What the fuck?
- Uh, guys!
- Just a second.
Uh...
So how's the foods coming along?
It's just fine.
Four more dishes to go.
We're making the dessert later.
There. She's Nilda, my friend.
Come on, Asuang,
it's embarrassing.
I'm so disheveled.
You're always disheveled.
- Oh, you!
- Now that Nilda has retired,
uh, she's now just
a regular housewife.
That's it. She cooks...
There she goes.
Make sure
that's delicious, Nilda!
Of course!
Nilda is a great cook!
Hey! What's the matter with you?
Don't throw it away, wash it!
There's more over here.
The food has to be special
because we have a lot
of important guests coming.
I don't think we have enough.
Are we done?
Of course, we're not done!
We have four dishes to go!
Hurry up!
Move back some more.
Your belly is in the way.
There. See?
ATM. I'm posting this later.
This is all burnt.
No, it's not.
It smells just like
your armpits.
- I'm going to the bathroom.
- Go ahead. I'll get this done.
Hey, where is the chicken?
Hey, KitKat!
Give us a wave!
What a snob.
KitKat is a longtime friend.
Uh, she's an aswang.
Uh, I'm sure you see her around.
Uh, the other day
she was a wild boar.
Sometimes she's a goat.
It depends on her mood.
But let me clear this up.
We're not related.
I'm not related to aswangs.
Our names just sound the same.
It's like "vlog" and "blog".
Their aswang is
spelled with a W.
Mine is with a U.
Uh, sometimes
I live with aswangs.
And... that's how I learned
that their culture
is really misunderstood.
The movies showed different
images of them,
so people don't look at them
in a positive way.
My brother don't like them too,
because they eat people.
So a lot of them died
and some are in hiding.
Chelsea! Chelsea!
Move away!
Ew!
- What are you doing?
- There's a cockroach.
- Don't!
- Why not?
- It's not doing anything to you.
- But it's flying.
When it lands on you,
you can decide what to do.
Can you move back?
You're too close.
Oh, boss? What is it?
It's the roast chickens
you ordered.
- What's that?
- The roast chickens?
- All those?
- Yes, sir.
There's more downstairs,
you got freebies.
Okay. Uh...
No, it's okay.
Uh, KitKat? KitKat?
- KitKat.
- What is it?
- You ordered roast chickens?
- You said to order lechon.
Uh, can we cut first?
- Sure.
- We're done, right?
Let's take a break, okay?
Uh, everyone relax.
You want a drink, director?
Have some drinks first.
Come here.
When I told you to buy lechon,
I meant pork. A roasted pig.
Why did you buy roast chicken?
But you didn't say
what kind to get.
When I say lechon,
it means roasted pig.
Why did you buy roast chicken?
And 20,000 pesos worth?
But that's still lechon.
That's not fit for a feast.
You buy that when you don't
have food at home.
Okay, maybe even
for a graduation party.
But this is my party!
Harry Prince is coming,
and you'll serve him
roast chicken?
- I can't send it back.
- Shh! Shh.
Stop explaining.
Get in there, make it look
like a roast pig,
I don't care how you do it.
Just do it, or I'll roast you.
Hmm? All right, go on.
- Oh, she'll show you the way.
- Okay.
Okay? Thank you!
Thank you, sir.
That's a lot of chicken!
Sometimes it's, uh...
It's really difficult
to delegate responsibilities.
You know, you have all these
things going on. You're busy.
Well, you have no choice.
You have to let other people
do these things.
Sometimes, you give
the simplest instructions,
and they just don't get it.
You know what I'm saying?
It makes you wanna...
- Asuang!
- I love exotic... Who's that?
Oh, the bar an gay captain!
Just a sec, director.
Uh, Kapitana. Good afternoon!
How are you?
It's nice to see you.
What brings you here?
You don't have a permit.
What?
What sort of permit?
You had the street cordoned off.
The police cars
can't pass through.
Uh, so my guests can
have parking later.
- I see.
- Yes, yes.
And what's all this?
Uh, they're shooting
an indie film. It's about me.
They couldn't think
of a better subject.
You still don't have a permit.
Oh, you. She's so funny!
Have you seen my hibiscus plants
downstairs?
I have a lot of new plants.
You love plants, don't you?
- I didn't notice.
- Well, let me show you, then!
- You have new plants?
- Yes, I've just bought them.
Let's cut filming.
- I do smell Jasmines.
- I know, right?
- You grow them, right?
- Oh, yes!
- And you sell them?
- Not anymore, I lost money.
Hang on.
Here you go. Uh...
I'm sorry about all this,
Kapitana.
This is all last minute,
you see.
- I'm really sorry.
- Oh, sure, sure.
- I forgot to tell you.
- Nothing to worry about.
But this is just
for tonight, okay?
- One night?
- Yes, yes.
And remove the cordons
when you are done, okay?
- Of course!
- They can't get through.
- You know how it is.
- Of course, my apologies.
Oh, wait. Uh, KitKat?
- KitKat!
- What?
Give ten bags of your roast
chicken to Kapitana!
- Here you go.
- No, this is too much!
- Oh, no, just take it!
- No need for that.
Don't be shy. There you go.
Grab them, boys, quickly!
And if you need anything else,
just send word.
- Thank you, Kapitana!
- Okay, enjoy your party!
- Yes, we will!
- We'll be outside.
Just call me
if you need anything more.
- No, I'm fine. Bye!
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Close the gate behind you!
I'll take care of it.
Okay. Whoo.
KitKat.
Send 20 more bags
of roast chicken to Kapitana.
Okay.
Oh... Is the camera rolling?
Wait, I'm just putting on
my black contact lenses.
Okay, it's straight.
Now the other eye.
- All good.
- Okay, get out.
See? It looks natural, right?
Excuse me, there's just
something I have to do.
- Can one of us go with you?
- No.
It doesn't
look so good, director.
It's okay. That's still
raw material. Come on.
KitKat?
Keep me out of your indie stuff.
Roll it.
Uh, hello, uh...
Is this Harry Prince's
publicist?
Uh, I just want to ask
if he got Asuang's invitation?
Uh, yes.
Uh...
Follow her, follow her.
Asuang is expecting him,
you see.
He is the guest of honor.
Is that so? All right then.
You don't want to annoy me.
What are you doing?
Stop it!
That's the trouble with Asuang.
He's so impulsive.
He'd get an idea
and I'd go crazy
putting this instant party
together.
Why are you doing it?
Why do you care?
Hello? Sun God? Uh...
Did you get the invitation
to Asuang's party?
Ye... Hello? Hell... Hello?
Mic check.
Check sound.
- Are you getting paid?
- No.
So you're not getting
anything out of this?
I am. Meat. God meat.
What's that for?
It's supposed
to taste really good.
Hello? Hello? Where are you?
Is that so? All right then.
Gosh.
What's it for,
that god meat you mentioned?
Uh...
Your meat...
smells good.
Uh, can you repeat the question?
Uh... You were talking about
god meat?
To...
I'll answer your question,
but...
I'll chew on your arm first.
- Is that all right?
- No, stay here.
There, right in front
of the camera.
- Check. Check. Sound.
- Right there.
Here. Right here.
Stand back a bit, okay?
You know about May on Volcano's
eruption, right?
Yes. Why?
You're scared, aren't you?
But when your kind were
killing off aswangs like me,
you felt absolutely nothing,
right?
Hello? You're annoying,
you know. Go away now.
Check, sound check,
sound check. Check.
Mic check. Sound check.
Here's Asuang
The brother of Gugurang
Here's Asuang
The brother of Gugurang
Here's Asuang
The brother of Gugurang
Here's Asuang
The brother of Gugurang
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
Hey, hey. Do it right.
Oh.
Really, really
They're so happy
Aren't they?
Really, really
One, two, three, four, five.
They're so happy
Aren't they?
Really, really
Are we all set, Aica?
"He was the ruler
of everything evil.
"The king of mischief
and deception and bad.
"The... The destroyer of peace.
"But he is not that anymore.
"Asuang is gone.
"But the death of a great god
"is the birth of an even
greater god.
"Let's give a hand to the
forever god of social media!
"None other than Ash-ang!"
I'd like to thank everyone...
Can we dim the light a bit?
It's too strong.
That's how it should be
when you're onstage.
- What? Really?
- Yes.
It makes your skin
look lighter on camera.
Turn it down a little.
Who's handling the spotlight?
It's Dindo, sir.
Dindo!
There.
I couldn't see anything.
Uh, first of all,
I would like to thank...
Psst! Hey!
Who are you people?
KitKat? Come here.
Come over here. What happened?
Where is everyone?
Where are my guests?
They're not coming.
And you didn't tell me
to tell you
if something like this
happens. Right?
Get out!
But why?
I thought we were going
to help each other?
Damn it, KitKat, just leave.
They're late, that's all.
Well, of course,
we're in Albay, right?
The flights were delayed.
Yeah, that's it.
The flights are delayed.
That's normal.
You know, they want to be
fashionably late.
Um, I'll just repeat
the program later.
Then, Director Aica,
you can introduce me.
Ah, okay...
- Cockroach!
- Hey!
It's a miracle!
You didn't step on it.
What the hell was that?
Did it erupt?
No. Not yet, I think.
Will you get up, Jomar?
What time is it?
- Uh, 4:38 in the morning.
- Right.
Damn my brother.
The jerk's grabbing
the spotlight again.
He does this all the time!
He always does, damn him.
That Gugurang?
That jerk Gugurang?
He's always been that way.
He always wanted to be the star.
He's got the fire,
he's got the scepter.
He's got the fans.
While me, his brother,
only wants a simple party...
He wouldn't even give me that.
The guests wouldn't come.
How could they?
How could they when they think
that this damn volcano
could erupt any time?
You, take this, and this!
And this, too!
Just erupt already, damn you!
I don't care.
We can all die!
Jerk!
Damn you, volcano.
You know what? Just leave.
All of you, just get out.
Get out!
Stop shooting already.
You won't get anything
out of it.
Asuang?
Asuang?
Talk to us, please.
Chelsea.
Give me a pen and paper.
Asuang, you're better than this.
Why are you giving up so soon?
Don't do it.
Just go, please.
Let's talk, please.
We're friends, right?
Jomar, roll sound.
You're going in with me.
I'm out.
You take care of that shit.
We're coming in.
Are you okay?
What is this? Poison?
Does poison work
on gods like you?
Give me that. Ouch.
That's steep.
You're so nosey. Here.
No, thanks. Um...
I don't drink. Not really.
Why?
I mean, yeah, I drink,
but nothing that strong.
Okay, fine.
- Finish it.
- Really?
You don't want to?
Then get out.
Get out of here.
Here goes.
Are you okay?
I see you're tough, Aica!
- Drink up, everyone!
- Cheers!
- Let's drink! Cheers!
- Cheers!
Come to think of it.
All gods have weapons.
- Mm-hmm.
- All gods except me.
What is my power?
- To make myself invisible.
- Which is cool.
Cool?
Because I can go
into the ladies' toilet?
Damn it.
Think about it!
I committed just one sin.
Just one.
All right, let's say two.
And that makes me evil?
Damn it, can't I do good deeds?
No, Aica, you got it wrong.
You're just like my brother.
No, actually, you and I
are alike. I hate my sister.
Sometimes... Sometimes, okay?
You see,
- she'd always... dominate me.
- Dominate.
That's it!
I think she's doing those things
because she thinks she knows
what's good for me.
Damn you, brother.
Damn you, Gugurang.
If he doesn't like you,
- he'd burn you alive.
- Mm-hmm.
He doesn't care
if you're a god, too.
This isn't ever going to heal.
- I want to be powerful too.
- Mm-hmm.
You know what I'm saying?
- Mm-hmm.
- And...
I want the people
to love me too,
to make monuments of me.
You know what I mean?
People would take selfies
in front of my monument
and post them
on Instagram, and...
I want them to respect me, too,
you know.
Ouch! Ouch!
Earthquake again?
That sobered me up.
This shaking is happening often.
I told you,
May on is about to erupt.
For real?
Psst. Hey.
I got it!
I know the perfect content...
Hey, director!
You will cover this
hero content I'm creating.
Just give me the raw files
so I can upload to social media.
But think about it,
it's going to be your story.
"Ash-ang saves the world
"from his grumpy big brother!"
This is so good!
- Too risky.
- Risky?
Sure it is, but...
you've done risky projects
before, haven't you?
That one in Mindanao.
That documentary about
the rallyists in Manila
that were beaten up
by the police.
And the extrajudicial
killings in Pasig.
Hold it right there.
Are you doing this
to clean up your image?
You know, I like you better
when you don't talk.
Well, then, I'm out.
Let's go, guys.
Let's pack up, hurry.
If you don't
create my content...
I wouldn't save mankind.
You will all die.
Is that so?
He's gone crazy. He's lost it.
Asuang's gone insane.
Let's go, guys.
Come on, let's pack up.
Director?
- How much time do we have?
- Time.
Me, I've got lots of time.
The earthquakes are coming
more frequently, right?
Let's say two
to three days, tops.
Don't listen to him.
Asuang is lying.
Mortal! I steal.
I do evil deeds.
But a god never lies.
Come on, director.
Why do you want us
to cover this?
Because, Director Aica...
Because I want you to!
What's the problem?
Don't you want to do this?
Director, you're my hype man,
remember?
All right, have it your way.
The lives of billions
are in your hands, that's all.
Don't believe him.
Fine. If you really want
my help,
I'll go with you.
- But leave my team out of it.
- Director...
It's okay, Chelsea.
This is the fulfillment
we're looking for, anyway.
- Right, Jomar?
- But...
Fine, fine, fine.
But if something goes wrong,
- we turn back right away.
- Yeah, sure.
- We'll go home. Promise.
- Promise?
I'm excited to try
that laing with principles.
That sounds good, Bert!
Oh, here, let's go live!
Live video, there!
Hi, guys!
Yes, I'm with my crew.
There's Director Aica,
there's Chona, there's Shomar.
And we're going to eat
some special laing,
and you can't sit with us.
Because we're gonna save
the world through the fire.
Through the fire
Through the fire
Through the fire
- Oh, sorry.
- Turn it off for now.
- Am I too loud? Sorry.
- No.
Why then?
Be careful about posting
such things.
We don't want to be found out.
What do you mean?
They won't...
The gods won't find out,
they have all blocked me.
They are snobs.
Don't worry about it.
They might see it
on someone else's profile.
- Right.
- They don't know that.
They don't know anything
about that stuff.
- So stubborn.
- Tell him to stop posting.
- I'll take care of it.
- What an attention seeker.
Guys, the food's here!
- Put that away.
- There you go.
Put that aside.
Let's eat first.
Oh.
Come on, eat!
Here we go.
I'll go ahead.
This is really good.
Albay makes the best laing!
Be careful, sir.
Don't share your food
with Jomar.
His profundity might rub off
on you.
Get over it, will you?
- What was that? I don't get it.
- I'll have some of this.
It's nothing. Never mind.
This is what I'll do
in my next cooking video.
I bet I'll get
a lot of views and likes.
- Probably.
- I really like...
Good evening, Asuang.
Adelaida.
What are you doing here?
Can I talk to you alone?
No, you can't.
If you want to speak to me,
you may do so in front of them.
- On camera?
- Yeah, tell them.
No one must hear.
No one would because
there's no one else here!
Very well.
We know that you know
all about the prophecy.
That Gugurang will destroy
the world.
And we know of your plan.
What plan are you talking about?
I don't have...
I don't have a plan!
All your posts are public,
you know.
Why? Isn't that allowed too?
Is posting not allowed
by your god?
It's called freedom of speech,
you know.
We want to help you.
I know what this is.
This is an ambush, right?
Where is Gugurang?
Is he out there?
Gugurang!
We know you plan
to steal the fire.
I think you're suffering
from dementia, Adelaida.
You come up
with such crazy ideas.
Are you an idiot?
"Through The Fire?"
It's my favorite song.
Do you have a problem
with black artists?
Fool!
It's all over
your Facebook page!
You post everything,
even taking a crap.
Hey! People are eating.
Besides, I never said anything
about our mission.
Gotcha! So there is a mission!
I knew it. I knew it.
But you can't do it alone.
May on Volcano
is heavily guarded.
And they can smell your evil
scent even if you're invisible.
You need a cover.
Creatures who can match
your evil ways.
No thanks.
My film crew
will get the job done.
They're sinners, too, anyway.
I'll just count their sins.
If we need more,
then we'll do more.
You need people
with real skills.
So this is your crew?
What would they do?
Record you
while the God of Storms
hurls lightning rods at you?
Could you not scare them?
All right, fine.
I'll just call my old gang.
They're cunning.
They're all sinners.
Uh, I will just hold
an audition.
I would suggest that you include
the most famous thief
in the world today.
Sure, sure.
You know what, Adelaida?
Do what you want to do,
but thanks for your help.
I'll decide on who I want
to take along on my mission.
Thank you, Asuang.
You should have thanked me
a long time ago, Adelaida.
After all the bashing
I endured from you,
and all the...
Where'd she go?
How about this one?
That Tom is a drug lord
and an addict.
Crap, he's busy.
Damn you, Tom, you got no balls.
Let's find someone else.
What's this one's name?
I'm Ashley Tiffany
Bianca Anderson.
What are your skills?
Well, I can sing, I can dance.
I don't know, I can be flexible.
Whatever you need,
I will do it, legit.
The worst thing
you've ever done in your life.
I didn't return
my mother's change.
Do you know who I am?
Not really, sir. Sorry.
I'm a god.
- Don't I look familiar?
- God...
Sir, the only god I know
is Gugurang.
Oh, my god, Gugurang!
Shit! I worship you
with my fam everyday.
I idolize him.
Before an exam, I pray to him...
Bro, bro, bro!
Uh, we'll just text you.
- Really?
- Yes.
And call in the next one,
will you?
- KitKat?
- What? I'm not KitKat.
I'm a male criminal.
- KitKat, what are you doing?
- I wanna come!
You're messing up my auditions!
Go away!
But you promised me
the meat of the gods.
You want meat?
Here, start with this.
Chew on that!
Damn.
You know, it's easy
to find sinners.
But a sinner with balls?
Damn. Hard to find!
Not like Aica here. Right?
She's cool.
Okay, next!
Hmm. Please tell me your na...
Asuang!
I thought you joined
the priesthood?
I did.
Why should I hire you?
Because I want to save
the world, Asuang!
I want to help people.
Mm-hmm.
I want Filipinos to change!
Get rid of all criminals!
I want to help
with global warming.
- Mmm...
- And with Dengvaxia.
Spell Dengvaxia.
I want to eliminate dengue!
Ekis, I want to know
the real reason.
I want my life to have meaning,
Asuang!
The truth.
I want... I want to make money.
That too.
You said...
in your message something about
a million. Is that still a go?
Yes, it is.
So there. And the mission.
I am a priest after all.
And I'm not busy right now.
What's even better,
I brought my brother with me.
Big brother,
what kind of trip is this?
This, my brother, is a miracle.
I'm sorry for not visiting
you lately.
I've been too busy
serving the god Gugurang.
Hey, hey, hey, baby shark!
What's your name, sweetheart?
Don't look at me like that,
my gosh.
Are you a cage?
Because I want to lock my...
Back off! Damn it.
How are you, Ompong?
- Asuang?
- Yes.
What are you doing with Asuang?
What are you up to?
Let me explain.
Damn, is this some kind
of networking?
Hold on. He's taking us
on a mission
where our holiness
will match Gugurang's!
We need your help.
- Guys, guys, guys.
- That's it.
I have retired.
I no longer go for such trouble.
Not anymore. I pass.
Look at me!
I'm an action star now!
- You're an action star now?
- Yes!
- Like FPJ?
- Yes, exactly!
People are starting
to notice my moves.
- Show me.
- Like this!
Someone's calling.
What?
Is that your cell phone?
Damn it.
Hello? What is it?
Damn it,
Ompong, where's the tweezers?
Damn it, I'm in an audition!
Oh, is that so?
Go home now!
Just look for it! It's right
beside the Hello Kitty mug!
Damn it. What a pest!
Guys, what exactly is this job?
Can you... let me join you?
Big brother?
Okay, guys, here's the catch.
No one can touch
the Sacred Fire.
Only Gugurang can.
Well, even he has to endure it.
- Interesting, huh?
- How?
Ask me how.
This is where I put
the Sacred Fire.
This is what I used to steal it.
This time... Oh, yeah.
I, Ash-ang...
Ash-ang will emerge victorious!
Yeah, I can feel it.
Let's go, guys. Come on!
Uh, Bert,
can you do... video montage?
Just shoot
from different angles,
then we'll drop some nice music
during the edit.
Something organic, right?
Keep the vibe light.
Can you see this, Mike?
Now, here's the problem.
May on Volcano is going
to erupt any time now.
It really is, okay.
Now, this is where we go.
There's a lot of high,
coarse grass there.
But don't worry.
I'll take care of it.
I know the way.
So, this is the way.
Are you okay there, Bert?
Are we all set, Chona?
We're all set.
This is the sin meter.
I stole it from Sit an.
He's the Tagalog counterpart
of the God of the Underworld.
He uses this to tell him
if someone goes up to heaven
or down to hell.
It's not on the level, though.
Commit a sin for me, Ompong.
Is it a sin to love?
I heart you.
Here's a sin. Here you go.
- Is it level now?
- Sweet!
Gugurang has killed almost
every criminal in the world.
It's going to be tough
to find sin anywhere!
My lord Gugurang,
I do not condone
the sins of my brother.
Forgive my ears
for hearing his words!
It's your fault!
Will you kill someone already
to get the meter right?
Stop that, Ekis!
Do it right.
Who are you?
My name is Miguel.
I was sent by Adelaida.
I know this guy. It is him!
He's the one who stole
the gods' bracelets!
Hey, director!
The meter's level now!
I'm happy with this team.
It's a good team.
We have a good bond.
I'm not sure
about Miguel, though.
I know his clan.
We have a history,
but I won't share that with you.
You know, being a good thief
runs in the blood.
Listen up, guys!
The mission is simple.
We will go up May on Volcano
and search for the passageway
that leads to Gugurang's home.
The only challenge
is Gugurang's hired men.
Remember that area
with the huge boulder?
It's hard to forget.
There are crows there.
Huge crows. Really black crows.
Now these crows can smell
an approaching evil entity.
The only way to distract them
is for us to bring
a lot of maggots.
We will scatter
the maggots around
and the crows will get
distracted by eating them.
Then they won't smell me.
Then we can pass.
You wanna see the whole thing?
You can see, right? Here, look.
To get a better look.
So you'll remember better.
This is our map.
Do you understand?
Who knows karate?
I've known Ekis
since he was a kid.
His loud mouth always got us
in trouble with the police.
Go on, show them your moves!
How?
But Ekis is really talented.
I have no idea
how he ended up that way.
Must be something he ate.
So, how do you feel?
Uh, right now?
I'm excited, of course.
But... a bit nervous, you know.
Because this is it, right?
In the words of the great
Harry Prince on his Instagram...
Is it true that
you've been scared of fire
ever since Gugurang
punished you?
Me, scared? Of fire?
Hey!
- Don't you dare!
- Okay. Okay.
They're nothing but trolls.
Don't listen to them.
Let's play some music!
It'll make you say
"Fuck shit"
Is there another song
we can listen to?
Stupid, it's Shanti Dope!
It's the best music
in the world!
Like she sunbathed
On the roof at noon
Or she took after
The color of tires
She's smooth and fair
But why is that
Her nipples are as black
As coal, coal, coal?
Come here
Off to May on, guys!
Off to May on!
Team Ash-ang! Team Ash-ang!
Team Ash-ang!
Hold, guys, hold!
Every time I sleep
I want your dirty smell
Maureen
Give me your attention
Baby! Baby cakes!
Baby Shark! Aica!
Come on, big brother.
Hold on to me
Stay away from me.
It'll make you say
Okay, guys, let's go!
Let's go! Hello!
But why is that
Her nipples are as black
As coal?
KitKat thought I wouldn't
recognize her. There she is!
Just hanging around.
Go home!
She's smooth and fair
Flowers for you!
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
I still want you even more
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
Hero... content.
Move it, man.
You're too slow.
- Okay. Uh...
- Right here.
Guys.
You okay?
Bert? Uh, Miguel, move a little.
You don't want to move?
I just want to let you all know
that I can really feel it now.
That I'm finally going
to be a social media god!
I can feel it.
So this is my time.
Invisible time!
What's Asuang up to?
- What?
- We can see your head.
Really? Where am I facing?
- Now?
- Here.
- Point to my head if you see it.
- There.
- Now, where is it?
- There.
- You can still see it?
- Yes, we can.
Okay, I'll work on it later.
Here's the plan.
If anyone asks you,
tell them you're hiking
and you're documenting the area.
The guards are coming!
They're here!
The maggots!
Where are the maggots?
- Where are they?
- The maggots.
How did the crows get here?
They should be
at the foot of the mountain.
I already gave them
to Ekis earlier!
I stopped eating maggots
a long time ago!
- I don't have them.
- They're not in my pockets!
So, where are the maggots?
I have them.
I have the maggots.
You got them? Give them to me!
Why didn't you say so?
My Lord Gugurang!
It looks like fish food.
Oh, my, they're here!
- It's the god Okot!
- Kneel! Kneel!
How dare you not kneel
before a god!
Unbelievable! Back in the day,
all it took was one look
and everyone would be
on their knees!
What is that?
Turn that thing off!
Uh, we're just shooting
a documentary.
I think I smell
something rotten.
- I know you.
- My god...
Who are you again?
I am a mere shepherd
serving our god Gugurang.
- Shut that thing off!
- We need to record all...
I know you, too.
Maybe you've seen me
on TV, Mr. God.
I'm an action star, you see.
- Uh, what show?
- Uh, it's...
Terror of Albay.
Oh, I watch that!
The one with Coco Martin!
I'm actually just a stuntman.
But I'm going to have
my own show soon.
- You're a stuntman?
- Yes.
Then show me a tumble!
Sample! Sample!
It's too rocky, sir.
But I can do this!
Yes, I may not know you.
But if you're in this
wanted list,
then I have to let
Boss know right away.
But for now,
I'll keep you here with me.
Uh, Lord Okot, can we talk about
this in a more civilized manner?
Didn't you hear
the crows cawing earlier?
That means one thing.
Asuang is among you.
He's with you, isn't he?
Lord Okot, I am a shepherd
and servant of lord Gugurang!
I spread his word amongst men!
Who is that?
It's me.
I get a rhinitis attack
in the morning.
Do you take me for a fool,
mortal?
- Who is that?
- I said it's me.
Ompong, I think
you dropped this earlier.
How did you get my phone?
That's brand new,
isn't it? It's nice!
- Yes, dude, it's the P20 Pro.
- Wow.
- Leica lens.
- That looks good!
It's so good,
when you take a selfie,
- your soul shows in the picture!
- Nice! Who's this?
- Who's that?
- It's nobody, just my wife.
But look how clear this is,
Mr. God.
Beautiful. "Huawei P20 Pro."
Maybe now
you'll let us through to May on?
No can do.
We cannot break Gugurang's laws!
Hey, stop it with the video!
I might go viral!
I don't know how I can help you
but hand that over.
- Give that to me.
- This is expensive.
We'll get you a new one.
Careful, we don't
want Gugurang to see.
No thanks, that one's ugly.
Brother, he took my phone!
It's okay.
- That's my wife's.
- What?
- We'll get a new one!
- But it's mine!
And we'll get you a new one!
Seriously, Ompong.
- But that's mine!
- It's just a cell phone!
You're acting like a kid!
Don't be a brat, Ompong!
That'll put us in trouble.
Asuang!
This wasn't part of the deal!
- Come on!
- Asuang?
Damn that...
- He took my phone!
- Hey!
Well, look who's here!
Welcome back to May on, Asuang!
- Hold my glass.
- Glasses.
Ready for me, Asuang?
I'll take care of this.
Keep rolling.
I've been waiting
for this moment
for a long time, Asuang!
So long, I see you got pregnant!
Damn you, you son of a whore,
you crazy-ass monster!
That's too personal!
Come on!
Let's get it on!
Jomar!
Help him!
Hey, hey, Jomar!
- Hey!
- Someone help them!
- Give me back my phone!
- Hey!
Ekis, help me, brother!
Hey, that's my brother!
Help him!
That's what we get
for trying to fight a god!
Ouch!
- What?
- Game?
- Ready?
- Hurry!
Tie him down tightly! Alright.
You'll pay for this, Asuang!
Are you the one
they call the brave one?
This is Gugurang's general?
My ass!
It's Okot's weapon.
It's warm.
- Leave it.
- Wait.
But we can use this
when we fight Gugurang!
Our mission is to steal.
Not to fight a god.
Leave it there.
Babe, you can keep
my share of the money.
Your shoes...
the Jordans are under the bed.
Asuang, make sure my babe
comes out of this alive.
Joms, don't close
your eyes. Don't sleep.
You idiot.
I'm dying.
No, please.
Damn you!
- Okay?
- Baby?
Ouch.
Baby.
Can you do this right for once?
Big brother...
Thank you.
Come on, let's go!
Wow, damn it!
Shit! Damn!
Move quickly!
You're overacting, Ekis!
Damn.
Where did the director go?
Chelsea, come on!
Lord Gugurang,
we ask you to cleanse
the soul of our friend Jomar
and grant our request
for his eternal repose.
Sitan's men are coming
and they might see us.
They're going to report
to my brother. Let's go.
Damn you, Gugu...! Oh, sorry.
This outfit is such a waste!
Come on, Chelsea!
What's taking Ekis so long?
Director, let's go.
I don't want to die here.
She's right.
You promised, didn't you?
You said if something goes
wrong, we will turn back!
Even I don't want
to go further, really.
But if we don't film this,
Asuang won't...
They can do this without us.
If not, I'd rather die
with my family.
Hey, come on!
We don't need the money
or this movie!
It's not about that anymore.
I want to... I want to help.
Not for Asuang but for...
But I get you.
If you want to leave, then go.
I told you
I would do this alone.
You know we're going
to follow you wherever you go.
Then don't.
Come on. All right, then.
We're sorry.
Jomar is right.
This is our self-fulfillment.
All right, we're safe.
Safe? Jomar's dead
and that's safe? Safe?
If you want to stay, then stay.
But me...
I'm leaving. I'm out of here.
Hey.
Hey, Chona, where are you going?
This is the right way!
- Director?
- She's going home.
- What?
- She's going home. Let her be.
It's a wrap for her?
Okay, then. Let's go.
Come on, Ekis!
You're taking so long!
Where the hell are those two?
Damn this!
They should have gone down
the mountain.
For the record,
if we don't do this
before the volcano erupts,
it's Ekis' fault!
- Damn carabao! Whoo!
- Watch your mouth, brother!
Gugurang will get mad!
Shut up
or I'll make your mouth bleed!
- Damn jerk.
- We don't have time.
- Let's go!
- Five more minutes.
You should have gone
back down with Chelsea.
It's easier to go down
than to climb up!
You hear?
You should have gone down
and go to the hospital.
Why do you want me to leave?
Do you think this is easy?
I can see my bone marrow,
you jerk!
You're turning pale,
you should go to the hospital.
Why are you rushing me?
If you want to go ahead,
then go, you monster! Go ahead.
Gugurang won't wait for you.
The volcano will explode
any time now.
It won't wait for you, fool.
Come on, Let's go! Let's go.
Wait a second. Where did you get
the enchanted hemp cord?
You mean this?
I've stolen from so many,
I can't remember
who I stole this from.
Dimalacap.
Yes, I remember. I know you,
and your grandfather...
and your grandfather's
grandfather.
I know. You put him under
your spell, didn't you?
You used your hands
to make him do evil acts.
To help you steal Bulan's moon.
Am I right?
You're right.
There you go. And why did you
want to steal the moon again?
Oh, yes, to shield
your ugly face!
Hey, kid,
watch what you're saying.
Stop it!
You're the reason why everyone
looks down on my family!
Whoa, hold on.
It's not my fault that your
family never changed its ways.
Only one of you
was under my spell.
Did I make you do anything?
Did I tell you to steal?
Damn you, Asuang.
Damn you.
I'm going to kill him
when I'm back on my feet.
What if we poison him?
Bert, hold on to this for me.
Can this Falls
of Light really heal?
No, it's a lie.
That's all my brother's piss.
Asuang, I know a shortcut
to Gugurang's home.
It's safer and faster.
What shortcut
is he talking about?
- There is no shortcut, kid.
- Yes, there is, stupid.
When we pass the Brook of Light,
we'll see the passageway.
Um, correction.
It's called Falls of Light.
It's called falls
for a reason, young man.
And, come on. Even before
your ancestors were born,
I've known this place
like the back of my hand!
Have it your way.
But if I were you,
I'd bring Ekis here right now.
So his wounds can heal.
And it's great to swim
in this Brook of Light.
The water is so clear.
Falls! Stupid.
He's right.
Let's bring Ekis here
so we can move forward.
Here? You think
this will heal Ekis?
Um, excuse me. I've been here.
So where are they?
Ompong!
Whoo! Bert, put that down
and go for a swim!
Asuang! Wanna go for a swim?
You're stinky. Come on,
it feels so nice! Asuang!
Come down here.
You're getting smelly!
- Stop it!
- You stink!
- Hey!
- Hey.
What took you so long?
- It's my brother.
- What happened? Where is he?
Go on, give him mouth to mouth
resuscitation.
- You want me to do it?
- Yes, you.
- Don't you know CPR?
- Why don't you do it?
I told you it won't work.
It's my brother's piss.
It's a scam.
Brother...
Damn! Damn!
Brother!
Good. The moon's behind
the clouds.
Whoa.
It's really coming.
So we have to move fast.
Tomorrow morning,
we continue the climb.
It's not safe at night.
The guards are on the prowl.
I know that.
But we're running out of time.
We have to take the shortcut.
Where exactly is that shortcut?
It's past the brook
and into the woodlands.
There's a passageway there.
That leads
to the house of Gugurang.
What you're saying
is impossible.
My father told me
about that passageway.
I believe him more than
I believe you, Asuang!
Hey! It's Ash-ang!
Here's what, Asuang.
We're a group anyway,
so why don't we vote on it?
All in favor of my shortcut?
Fine. Have it your way.
Ash.
This is my mission.
Then that Dimalacap takes over.
I was only forced by the
priestesses to take him along.
Chill, chill, chill, chill.
And that enchanted hemp cord?
He had it all along!
Why didn't he share it with us?
We're a team, right?
He's too brassy for his age.
You're pissed at us?
I thought we were allies.
Let's just get this mission
over with before we all die.
Help.
Can you spare me
a piece of bread?
- Here.
- Sorry, I've eaten all my food.
Is that what you do
to keep hunger at bay?
- What?
- You keep it all in your belly?
By the way, did you pass
through the brook?
Yes. I was scared to drown.
No reason to be scared.
Remember,
blubber floats in water.
Are you happy now?
Uh, is it true?
What?
Is it true that fat guys
have small dicks?
Small dick!
Thanks for the food.
- You can have this.
- Thank you.
- Here's more.
- Thank you.
- Here.
- Can I have yours, too?
- Sure!
- Thank you.
You're all so kind.
Why don't you come
with me to Onos' party?
- No, thanks!
- We're good.
Thank you!
- We're fine.
- Thank you.
- Are you sure?
- We're fine here.
I can get you in.
They're all here.
What?
I said they're all here!
Aliyah, Bulan.
All the gods are here.
Even the social media
personalities.
Everyone I invited to my party,
they're here.
Isn't that KitKat over there?
Let her be.
Harry Prince isn't here anyway.
He's not here, see?
Damn! Is that Harry Prince?
He's wearing the same clothes
as the fat guy back there.
No, it's probably
a similar design.
Or maybe that guy
is an avid fan, you know.
Hello, hello?
Is this thing on?
Yeah!
Thanks for all your support!
Just keep drinking that potion
so we'd all look beautiful
and handsome!
Who throws a great party?
- Onos! Onos! Onos!
- I love it.
- I love the energy!
- Onos! Onos! Onos!
I lost you. Where were you?
I got us these.
Why do you always steal stuff?
When you have nothing,
you want what you don't have.
Instead of feeling envious,
find a way to get it.
Is that bad?
Of course, it is.
Be careful, Aica.
This stuff is strong.
Cheers!
You were so mean to that guy.
That fat guy
who's as big as a wall?
- Why?
- That's so mean.
Why don't you go ahead
and call me darkie,
or KitKat skinny?
- I would call you arrogant.
- I didn't say anything.
You know, when I was younger,
my skin was even darker
than your soul.
Wow,
- you know how to dish it.
- I learn fast.
- Phone.
- Why?
Add me.
- I want to show you something.
- Where?
- This is you?
- Yeah, that's me.
You're so light-skinned here.
Don't tell me you've been
drinking Onos' potion too?
Don't ever do this again.
- No, not ever.
- You looked like espasol.
They might sell you in La gun a.
Whoa, whoa.
- Bert?
- Yes, director?
Come here for a second.
What is it?
Don't tell anyone, okay?
I wanna show you something.
Whoa. Whoa.
When was that?
Earlier, before Asuang
and I stepped out.
Mm.
What is she doing here?
She could have come with us.
I don't know.
Hey, you two,
help us wake up Asuang!
How are we going to do that?
He's sleeping like a log.
Let him be.
He's sleeping like a log.
Hold this.
Wake up! Wake up!
- Stop it! Help! I can't anymore!
- Wake up, Asuang!
Brother!
Hey, jerks, help me out here!
Wake up! Wake up!
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Are you okay now?
Let's turn back.
It's okay to abort this mission.
You might not be well enough
to handle the Sacred Fire.
Or control it.
You might have to go through
all that pain again.
It might be worse for you.
Thank you for your concern.
- And I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
After all, the fate
of billions of lives
rests in your hands, right?
Wow, really?
That's good.
- Are you this way all the time?
- What do you mean?
Are you being nice only
because you need a story
for your movie?
Or is this really how
documentary filmmakers are?
Have you been there
all this time?
- Hey. It's him, the fat guy.
- Yes.
- Hey, you!
- Oh.
My dick is not tiny!
It's as big as a gourd!
- This is HP.
- Huh?
- Him! It's HP!
- How do you know this?
Because I have a big dick.
Harry Prince posts shirtless
photos of himself.
I have every one of them saved.
For... for research purposes,
of course.
Oh, he has a mole
on his armpit. Here.
That one! Exactly that!
I have a big dick, man.
I don't care!
You had us all fooled!
You jerk.
Wow. Wow.
Wow! Wow!
You jerk. You know what?
You only look good because
you keep drinking Onos' potion!
Fool, I go to the gym!
Where in that body
does it show you go to the gym?
See that?
Ew! Yuck!
I saved all those pictures!
And look at this jerk's
stretch mark-ridden body!
Damn!
Idiot!
Idiot. It was a
scam, dude! Wooh!
That jerk. He had me fooled.
How dare he post those abs!
Harry Prince is a fake!
A big ass faker!
I'm unfollowing him.
Hey, Bert, come on up here!
Be careful.
Gugurang! Fuck you!
He can't come to me!
Yeah, oh. Fuck you, May on!
Oh, oh, fuck you, May on!
She has fair skin
But there is something wrong
We're running out of time.
It will be dark soon.
We have to move quickly.
Where is Director Aica?
She's over there,
taking shots of the others.
You know, during this season,
my brother hires a crazy woman
to organize the ritual.
Asuang! Asuang!
- Aica?
- Director?
So anyway, there's a ritual.
Then, the slaughtered animals
are given to my brother
as offerings.
We have so much food
in the house.
Asuang!
- Who is that?
- I can hear it, too.
- You heard that?
- Yes.
Below you!
Hey. KitKat?
What are you doing here?
Go away! You're going
to cause trouble here.
Keep your voice down!
Beware of Miguel!
I overheard them at Onos' party.
They're going to offer you
to Gugurang!
KitKat, if this is still because
of our fight at the party,
you're going to get it from me!
I'll turn you into chicken soup!
No!
I'm telling you the truth!
He planned it all along
with the old priestess.
You have to leave now!
Are you making this up?
Uh, sir, she might be
telling the truth.
You see, Aica showed me a video
of Miguel and Ompong
talking to Adelaida
at the party.
And when they went
to take a piss,
we heard them sort
of planning something.
Miguel, why did
you join this mission?
Why?
I need it for the documentary.
- I need money.
- What for?
Should there be a reason
to want money?
How about you, Ompong?
- I want...
- Let's go. Come on.
Okay.
Careful.
Uh, Director Aica,
- I've seen the materials.
- What material?
Bert showed me some videos.
What video, Bert?
Wait, I'm confused.
What... what video?
Director, I'm sorry.
I was previewing the materials
then he looked over my shoulder.
- You made me look like a fool!
- Wait, what?
Your shots were bad!
I thought you were my hype man?
What are you trying to do here?
We're trying to help you!
You're helping me look stupid!
Wait, okay, uh, let me explain.
People already see me
as the God of Sin.
They already think I'm evil.
What more are you trying
to prove?
Are you serious right now?
Why would I joke about this?
I thought you were
a good filmmaker.
What the hell?
Turn it off, man.
Just turn it off.
No, no! Do not turn it off!
Record all
this girl's foolishness!
You're an amateur!
Bert, let's go.
- Let's leave them.
- No, Director Aica. You leave.
You're the one
we don't need in this mission.
So get out of here.
You know what?
I thought people
were wrong about you.
I hope you die up there.
I'm done.
Bert, let's go.
Robertino!
Come on.
- Where do we go, kid?
- Here. This way.
- Hurry up, Bert.
- Go slow.
Just go slowly.
We're almost there.
Which way do we go?
- Why don't you go first?
- Straight ahead.
- This way or that?
- Why are you rushing?
Hey!
Who supplies you
with hemp cord, Miguel?
Why do you have so much?
Let me go!
My apologies, god of sins.
Just doing my job.
It's Lord Gugurang!
Well done, well done!
Very well done!
Bless us, Gugurang.
Please take our offering
and spare the world.
- Do not destroy mankind.
- Asuang!
I've missed you. Asuang!
He's unconscious?
I've been shooting my mouth off!
- Pompom, go get some water.
- It's Ompong, sir.
Pompom, I said go
get some water!
- Yes, my lord.
- Don't talk back to me.
Is this camera on?
The priestesses asked us
to bring Asuang to you,
beloved Gugurang.
Will you please stop
calling me beloved?
You don't love me.
Do you really love me?
You, put that down.
I'll speak to you two first.
Miguel, thank you
for your offering.
You, Pompom, and the priestesses
have my thanks.
- It's Ompong, sir.
- Pompom.
Magindang has been
looking for you, Miguel.
He knows it was you
who took his trident.
Guard.
Wait! Wait.
What is the meaning of this?!
Oh, Miguel,
thank you for your offering.
Go on.
- Take him to Magindang.
- Wait, please.
Go.
Take him out of my sight!
Get out!
Now, it's your turn, Pompom.
Pompom.
Have mercy on me.
I sentence you to death
for several cases of thievery!
No, have mercy on me!
You are truly
the most powerful god.
Please forgive me.
Please, can you
speak to me naturally for once?
All I ever hear
are your memorized prayers!
Is this language week?
- Throw him into Mayon's crater!
- Wait!
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Ouch! God, please!
Have mercy on me!
Whoa, it's raining!
Gugurang.
Welcome home, brother!
Let us go!
What?
Do you think I'm stupid?
Is this what you mean
by "equal"?
This, my brother,
is called justice.
If you are really
the God of Good,
then why do you have
to kill mankind?
People can change!
What change?
Sinning is man's nature!
Even the aswangs,
you killed them all.
They did you no wrong!
Why?
Why this concern for mankind?
And even for aswangs?
Haven't you seen
"Shake, Rattle and Roll"?
They eat people!
Even the priestesses who offered
you to me are cunning!
Gugurang...
Don't destroy the world. Please.
Why, Asuang,
what do you think of yourself?
A savior?
You're the god of uselessness,
and now you're a god who'll rot
in that cage forever!
Along with your friend.
What's your name again?
I'm Bert.
Well, then, bye for now.
I have to prepare myself
for the destruction
of the world.
That son of a whore.
People were right about him!
He's evil and a user!
He's only nice when
he wants something from you.
He is very narcissistic!
He's a narcissistic,
motherfucking son of a bitch!
You missed me, didn't you?
- Ouch, that hurts!
- What are you doing here?
- Wait. No, no.
- Give me that, I'm going home.
Aica, that wasn't me!
It was KitKat
you were fighting with.
- KitKat?
- Yes, we had to do it
to get you away
from Miguel and Ompong.
Where's Bert?
Just help me.
We're going there to get them!
It's siesta time, you know.
So all the lazy people in May on
are taking a nap!
- What's siesta?
- Procrastination time.
Don't you have that?
Aren't mortals lazy?
- Let's go! Come on!
- You're really a basher.
It's action hero time!
Come on.
It's a miracle! You got
my instructions right, KitKat!
- Hey.
- I know you so well, Asuang!
- Bert!
- Director!
I was so scared to death!
I thought you weren't
coming back for us!
I told you not to come!
But we were talking about
that sense of fulfillment.
This is it.
Pipe down, Bert,
they'll hear us!
Director, if I didn't go
with those traitors,
they would know
we were on to their betrayal.
And if we try to escape then,
they would surely catch us
right away.
Here we go.
Enough of that!
Wait, I'll get the card
from the camera.
- Where is it?
- Gugurang destroyed it.
Aica, sorry about earlier.
That's okay.
You were so good.
You looked exactly like Asuang.
I believed you!
My grandmother taught me
how to act.
And I've gotten so good at it!
Especially when the victim
is pregnant.
Do you have everything?
I'll take that, Director.
- Hurry! Let's go!
- Okay, what do we do now?
Okay, this is my final
instruction, KitKat.
- Take them down.
- What?
Let's not argue
about this, Aica.
Take them far away from here.
And your meat?
Okot is tied down
at the foot of the volcano.
- Chew on him all you want.
- Sure!
But...
Director, I owe you
so much already.
So, please, just go.
I shouldn't even
have brought you here.
What are you going to do?
Uh, hello,
I'm stealing the Sacred Fire.
- That's the plan.
- What about your content?
She's right.
I can still film you
with this camera.
No, that's fine.
Take whatever you have,
edit it, and air it.
And if it's not enough,
then just discard it.
- Aica.
- Hmm?
This is for you.
Call your sister.
But before that,
I think you need to load up.
You can't do ATM posts anymore.
Just go.
Just figure it out later.
Wait.
PIN?
It's Ashang#1.
A-S-H-A-N-G-#-1.
Small letters only. No space.
- Okay? Go.
- I'm going to change this.
Change what?
A new PIN.
With what?
Asuang. A-S-U-A-N-G.
Small letters, no space.
Go, before I change my mind.
Wait. We should take a picture.
Oh, I never refuse a picture.
Come on, let's do it.
Look at the camera.
You're still going
to tag me, right?
Right. Three, two, one.
Cheese! Ashuang!
- Ashuang.
- Ashuang.
That's great. You might go
trending with me.
Caption it with hashtag
Asuang, the last groufie.
That was a joke!
I would never trend.
- Go on, go.
- You're being dramatic.
Go on already.
You're moving too slow!
What?
That's enough.
Good evening, Albay!
We're here at the
University of Berbania
where it is said that the
Lord Gugurang will come.
The question that is bothering
us will be answered.
The question that we're
all longing for an answer.
He's here. Come on.
Uh, good evening, Lord Gugurang!
Mankind has a question for you.
It's been three months since
the Sacred Fire's gone missing.
Can you give us an update
about that?
Update.
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
Really, really
- Really, really
- Ah
- Really, really
- Ah, ooh
Really, really
Good afternoon, Albay!
You know, we have
a very special guest for today.
The one and only
star for all seasons.
None other than
Ms. Vilma Santos!
Oust the Lords! Oust the Lords!
Bring back the power
to humanity!
Bring back the power
to humanity!
This is the season of humanity!
This is the season of humanity!
Get off me!
Oust the Lords! Oust the...
Yeah, come on
This is real.
Director, I'm ready.
This is dope, man.
Promise. Yo, yo.
Krak, krak, krak
I'm going to water
Your dry leaves
Let's release the cream
I have evidence
That it's nutritious
Ash-ang is going to conquer
The Social Media
Hot, hot The laing is so hot
- VIP
- AVIPI
Sir, I think
your spelling is wrong.
As long as you understand it,
it's fine.
Just roll it, roll it.
This is gonna be so hype, man.
This is Ash-ang.
Uh-huh. Come on.
Yo. It's all about the laing.
Yeah, oh.
It's all about the laing
Come on
So hype, oh, my laing
My butt is aching
I'm gonna water
Your dry leaves
Let's release the cream
I have an evidence
It's nutritious
Ash-ang is going to conquer
The social media
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
Of all the things you can do,
you really had to write a song
about laing.
Anyway, that's
my father's favorite dish.
If my mother isn't in the mood,
only laing is the answer.
The sticky kind, the delicious
one with lots of coconut cream.
The spicier the better.
Like a million bucks.
I'm going to water
Your dry leaves
Let's release the cream
I have evidence
That it's nutritious
Ash-ang is going to conquer
The Social Media
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
Sir, what's this song all about?
About laing.
Isn't it obvious?
Laing?
What's the title?
"Laing".
Laing, can't stop laing
- Oh, laing, can't stop laing
- Oh, laing, can't stop laing
- Oh, laing, can't stop laing
- Oh, laing, can't stop laing
G-g-gabi, gabi G-g-gabi
Do you understand?
I said "gabi" 'cause
that's the main ingredient.
Gabi.
'Cause it's taro.
Taro. Are you insane?
You're from Bicol
but you don't eat laing?
Google it, man!
I'm recording a song.
Sorry, director.
Tikboy has a lot of questions.
Just sit, keep still.
We're recording a song
for my album.
Krak, krak, krak
I'm gonna water
Your dry leaves
Let's release the cream
I have an evidence
It's nutritious
Ash-ang is going to conquer
The Social Media
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
- Laing, can't stop laing
- Laing, can't stop laing
Laing so hot
In which part
are you playing this song?
During the credits?
No one watches the credits.
Look. Nobody.
Oh, there's one.
Dude, don't go yet.
Let's talk first. Please?
Where do you live?
Are you taking a Grab? Grab.
Oh. I have a promo.
Do you want it?
I will give you a promo
if you stay.
Hey. Dude! Dude! Dude!
Follow me on Facebook!
Oh, come on, yo
I felt someone followed me.
Come on. Yeah, oh.
Three people followed me.
There's a notification
I saw it in my smart phone,
yeah.
Oh, this is gonna be so hype!
Hello, Mom? Hello?
Hello, Mom?
I'm losing my signal.
Mom, I've been here
for almost three hours.
Who has a house
in the middle of the wilderness?
Fairies?
Good evening.
Please don't play with me.
There's a lot of games.
You can play with my ex
'cause she played me too.
Oh, I remember it again.
They said if you reverse
your clothing...
you'll find your way back.
I'm still here!