Avengers of Justice: Farce Wars (2018) Movie Script
1
There has been an awakening.
Awaken!
I'm up, I'm awake, what's going on?
Master, you're up early.
What is thy bidding?
The twins of SuperBat turn
17 this 'morrow.
The Farce is strong with the girl,
but in the boy I feel is weak.
Do you have the Star Death Krypto
Tesseract thing-a-ma-goo?
Behold!
That ball of green greatness has
the power to freeze planets.
Grab your coat and earmuffs Jokester,
it's going to be a bumpy winter.
Come on!
Freeze!
Listen here, it's a stick-up see?
- Give me the cash.
- Come on!
- Hey, hey!
- Don't move.
This ain't no peashooter.
Hey, hey, hey!
Come any closer and I'll clip her.
Keep the change.
Hey! Get away from my car!
What's wrong with you two?
This car is a classic!
What are you nuts?
It's ok baby, daddy is right here.
Did they hurt you?
What the...
Drop the peashooter.
- Sorry.
- You think this is funny?
Look, just give us our ball back.
You want your ball back?
Here, get your ball back.
Gosh, no respect for their elders.
Bill, Susan.
What's that?
Yes, come on.
Honey, did you pick up the ice?
Yeah, I got it.
My hero.
Why's it so hot in here?
What's up with the A/C?
I think the unit outside is broken.
Could this day get any worse?
The guy on the news said the sun
will be the closest it's been...
- ...in 2,000 years.
- Great.
Do you think you could fix the AC?
Well, I bet Alfred could...
...if he wasn't dead.
I miss Alfred.
Me too.
What's wrong?
The security company
I applied to rejected me.
Honey, I'm so sorry.
Well, don't give up.
I trust someone will hire you.
I tried them all, but nobody wants me.
Well, I want you...
...to snap out of it!
Today is not about your problems...
...and you are not going to hide
in the Man-Cave of Solitude.
Where are my bracelets?
Today is about being with your family.
There we go.
Do you hear me Bruce Kent?
Yes, every word Jean Wonder.
Good.
I'm in here.
Raya, hey.
Wait, how did you know that I was...
I can read the thoughts of
the weak minded
Okay, sorry.
That's new though. That's cool!
It started this morning.
I can't lift anything
much heavier but...
I can do this.
Look at you!
Nice! You know, when your mom was young,
she used to be able to make one...
Great, Dad.
- Thanks. Anything else?
- Sorry.
- Yes I have to ask...
- Well, I don't care...
...because the internet is down again,
- tell him Lucas.
- Tell me what?
The AC is definitely broken.
- Did you break it?
- His stupid robot did.
Hello, I am C-R-E-P-O.
Human to cyborg assistance unit.
- Buddy...
- We were trying to fix it!
I built him for you to
help you around the house.
Lucas, I mean this thing is very creepy.
It's not creepy to think that
while you all are sleeping,
I am still awake cleaning.
I appreciate the help. I do,
but I ran a multi-billion dollar
newspaper empire...
Into bankruptcy
Thank you.
Surely I can fix the air conditioning.
You are in desperate need of
employment Mr. Kent.
Nobody's talking to you, Creepio.
0100100101 Malfunction.
Malfunction!
Come on, Lucas.
Look, stop fiddling with the robot,
and start concentrating on your
superpowers like your sister.
There! There! He's perfect!
I don't think so.
Perfectly stupid
What if I never get my powers?
Lucas.
You'll get your powers!
Girls just mature faster than boys...
...which is why we lose ours
earlier than you.
Well, your father's are fading,
but my powers, they're gone.
Superhero fact 37192.
Knowledge is the real power.
You should seriously
consider reprograming your robot.
Happy birthday my babies.
You can go.
Lucas, I'm following you.
Beep beep beep bop bop beep beep.
Dark Jokester.
Lisp Luthor.
You look nothing like
your Myspace profile picture.
Well, beauty is in the eye of
the beholder I always say.
Well, the pleasure is mine,
put her there.
Works every time.
Should have saw that coming.
Very sneaky, yes.
How about I show you a real magic trick?
Wanna see a pencil disappear?
Maybe another time.
You're no fun.
Anyways, shall we?
After you, ha!
What a lovely jester.
I find that joke offensive.
Only clowns are
allowed to use that word.
My apologies.
Just show me your toys.
Yes, okay, well, this way.
- Look at this guy.
- Hey, Marty, how are ya?
I think Creepio's fixed now.
I...
I've installed some health
and fitness programs on him.
Maybe he could help us both
with our super powers?
We can start by giving you
a physical, Mr. Kent.
- What do you think?
- No, thank you.
It's great, son.
Why don't you put him in a corner?
Somewhere where I can't see him?
You really are into
those gadgets though?
Yeah, I used to like gadgets too.
Nobody puts C-R-E-P-O in the corner.
Tony Starch!
Haven't been in the Man Cave
of Solitude in a while...
Hey, hey, hey, don't touch that!
God Lucas! Look what you did!
I told you not to touch this.
I'm sorry it was an accident
An accident, just like the air
conditioner was an accident.
Do me a favor.
Don't touch anything.
Don't try to fix anything. Okay?
Dad, I'm really sorry.
Just leave.
Mommy!
Nooooooooo!
No. She's everywhere!
Goodness. Mommy!
She's ruined.
I can fix it.
Get out!
My bad.
Don't let your man cave
become your tomb, Bruce.
Even your belt doesn't want to
be around you Mr. Kent.
I know, I know.
It has taken me years...
...of science and mathematics
and calibrations.
But once this doomsday
device is complete,
we will have the most epic,
devastating, doomsday
device in existence.
I love it.
But first, we need an army.
Oo, could we dress them up
like little clowns?
Yes, clowns,
and then I need the Star
Death Krypto Tesseract...
...to power the device.
I just happen to know a guy.
But first, we need to kidnap
Superbat's son.
Yeah, anything to annoy Superbat.
And we need take the superpowered DNA...
...that lies dormant in his system.
I'll leave that nerdy stuff up to you.
And we splice his DNA
with my current henchmen,
- making super soldiers!
- Okay, enough!
Geez!
That looks really...
...dumb, Lisp.
It looks like a coffee machine...
...with a bunch of
science stuff taped to it.
But Jokester.
Looks are deceiving!
Once this device is complete,
we'll have the whole world
bending at the kneecaps.
Okay, don't get too excited...
...about your silly little
doomsday device.
Its powers are insignificant...
...next to the naughtiness of the farce.
The farce?
Please don't try to threaten me
with some mumbo...
Gosh, what's this?
I find your lack of humor disturbing.
Stop it! You're tickling me! Stop!
Stop it! Stop it!
I'm gonna pee I swear!
The importance of this mission is
no laughing matter.
Put me down.
Dark Jokester, you're a clown.
Laughing is the only thing that matters.
I can still hear you.
Idiot.
Gracias, amigo.
So she says to me, "Hey!
You forgot to save my husband."
And I was like, "no I didn't."
No?
This party totally just got...
AWESOME. My god!
It's Tony Starch!
Great. Mr. Wonderful's here.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't Ironing Man himself?
Cute boots and belt SuperFat.
Thank you.
We in recession?
I wouldn't know.
No seriously that suit
could use a trip to...
...one of my four million
dry cleaners worldwide.
- Could it?
- Super clean.
Super fast. Super cheap.
Super what?
Here's a five dollar
coupon off your first visit,
Thank you very much.
Good at any location, or...?
- Domestic.
- Domestic.
Seriously, that was a good one.
- Great...
- Listen, Jean contacted me,
and she wanted me to offer you...
...I don't know some sort of position.
Not interested.
I don't know why she would
call you. I'm doing fine.
Speak of the she-devil.
- Hi.
- Jean Wonder.
You're looking wonderful in those jeans.
Tony.
You always know how to talk to women.
He owes me 5 bucks.
Right.
My kids are dying to meet you.
Can you blame them?
I'm dying to meet myself.
Come here
Raya, Lucas.
This is our good friend, Tony Starch.
Happy birthday kids.
He talked to us.
Wow, Mr. Starch you're like...
...the greatest inventor on the planet.
- I know I am.
- No seriously. You're my hero.
I'm also my hero... Raya.
Mr. Starch, is it true you invented...
Beat it Lucas!
Go find a superpower!
Mr. Starch I built a...
That's the one!
Her superpowers are remarkable.
Not her, you jack wagon! The boy!
But we're outnumbered.
Even Tony Starch is here.
So we wait for
the right opportunity, duh.
Big mistake, sister.
Video game fight, right now.
Auto dry!
That was weird.
The oldest battle in history.
Brother versus sister.
Boy versus girl.
X chromosome versus Y chromosome.
The son of SuperBat versus
the daughter of Jean Wonder.
Player One Ready.
Player Two Ready.
Fight!
"Power Up."
Lord versus lass.
Blue and pink.
Shut up!
Lisp! You're ruining my sound effects.
Sorry.
Honey? Honey?
- Yeah?
- Do you see what's going on?
- Yeah.
- Hey! Hey!
Guys, break it up!
Stop it! You two!
Kids! Stop!
Stop it!
Your powers are pathetic just
like your idiotic inventions!
Well, your pigtails are stupid!
Let me go!
Not good.
Today couldn't get any better.
You... killed him! You monster!
You gotta be kidding me, Raya?
Thanks for ruining my life, Dad!
You just killed my hero.
Lucas, you knocked my arm into his...
So it's my fault?
You didn't like him anyway!
Nothing I do is ever
good enough for you!
Lucas, don't make this about that!
Alright. Let's move in.
Hello. Master Lucas.
Are you in need of some assist...
I wouldn't touch that if I were you...
Honey, that was crazy, right?
I'm going to...
I don't want to hear it.
I trust you will fix this.
Now!
Okay.
Stupid robot.
Stupid family.
Stupid no powers.
Hello, Lucas. Rough day?
Who are you?
Someone who sympathizes
with certain situations.
I'm sorry. What?
It's really tough to understand you...
...with so many 's' words.
Call me a friend.
Sweet wheels, aren't they?
I'm not supposed to touch it.
But what Super Daddy doesn't know...
won't hurt Super Daddy.
But you must admit.
It does feel nice to be a little...
...naughty sometimes.
Yes...
...yes...
...yes...
Why is this happening to me?
Why do you mock my pain?
Another satisfied audience.
Dark Jokester, I knew that you...
Witness the full power...
...of the Naughty Side of the farce!
Now... Superbat.
You may die...
...laughing!
Sometimes I crack myself up.
This is only the beginning...
...theatrical deception!
Raya is in her room. She's
a little emotional right now.
I'm going after this clown.
Who's coming with me?
Sorry, buddy but I just have
a lot of things going on.
My wife is pregnant and we have
at least six other kids...
...at home and we planned
a trip to Mexico to visit...
...my wife's parents
before the new kid arrives...
...so I can't really commit
to a rescue right now.
In fact, I should be home.
Yes, I'm definitely late.
I trust you understand my position...
...and I hope that another
mission presents itself...
...in the near future at which
time you should contact me...
...and perhaps...
...we can work together then.
It's been a lovely party, yeah...
I wish you the best.
I'm really sorry Superbat, but...
...I've gotta get home and
feed my cats their spiders...
...and my spiders their cats...
...and my spider cats...
I don't know what they eat yet.
Thorbacca?
Bruce, I really want to, but you know,
it's a very busy time of
the year you know,
with the convention of the gods, and...
...but may our paths cross again
in another shared universe.
Now, thy bid thee farewell.
Come on.
It's not fair.
She's more powerful than I had imagined.
She's just a girl!
NOT! FAIR! NOT! FAIR!
Woah, this place is awesome!
Sour toxic shocks, I love these!
But SOON,
you will learn to harness
all your powers,
and we will rule the galaxy together.
- Okay.
- Here.
Have some candy, boy.
Just one, just one.
I suppose it's good to get it out.
Sweet sweet. Mommy.
Mommy. I'm so sorry.
Bruce!
Goodness! You are filthy, honey.
Take a shower.
Ok. So I was thinking...
Dark Jokester said there's
a naughty side of the farce.
So if there's a naughty side,
there must be a nice side as well.
I know somebody
who knows about this stuff.
Who? Gandalf?
Dumbledore?
Obi Wan?
Professor Xavier?
Old Rocky Balboa!
Jean Roqua?
- From Never Back Down?
- Maybe?
This isn't some dumb science fiction...
...or coming of-age martial arts story.
This is serious.
I'm talking about my former
yoga instructor, Master Yoga.
He is incredible!
I texted him.
You know, I'm really not into
all that new age nonsense,
honey. It's just, I'm not.
My father knew Dark Jokester.
My real father.
A long time ago, Dark Jokester
came to destroy his planet.
And that's why he put me
in that gold spaceship...
...that my Earth parents found me in.
And then my Earth parents melted
the spaceship down...
...and cashed in the gold for billions.
I never knew that about you.
Me neither. I had to read it
on my Wikipedia page.
Then it must be true.
Master Yoga replied.
He says, "I know about The Farce
and will train your husband."
So cute! He put this little Farce emoji.
Alright, I have a question.
What if Lucas is just done with us?
Think about it.
I mean, he's 17 years old.
Maybe it's time that we just let him go.
Let him go? Do you have
bats in your brain?
No...
I'm just saying.
All of this, you know,
it all can't be just bad luck.
You take that back right now Bruce Kent!
I want you to think and
be very clear with your words.
You want me to be clear with my words?
Ok, how's this for clear.
I have no job, no money,
and my powers are evaporating.
I just killed Tony Starch,
and so now the kids don't
want me around anymore.
And my marriage to Mrs. Jean Wonder is,
surprise, surprise.
Not wonderful.
Now my car got stolen by your son...
...who's working with
my father's murderer...
...to become my new arch-enemy.
And to top it all off,
I am now covered wearing
my dead mother's ashes!
Is that clear enough for you?
Then leave!
I can't leave. This is my house
Fine, I'll leave.
What happened to the man I married?
Mommy.
Raya!
Raya!
Bruce!
Raya's gone!
- Really? Come on!
- Yes!
You know,
you say one thing to that girl.
Raya Gladys Kent!
You really upset her last night.
Please! I was just talking to her.
She's so emotional at that age.
- Raya!
- Raya!
- She just texted. Yeah,
- Really? Read it.
Out loud, please!
"Gone to look for Lucas
and save family."
Alright, gosh.
I'm going to call Lando.
I think he can fix this...
No, no! I do not trust Lando.
Why? Because he has dreads?
No!
Because he has an eye patch.
Alright? I don't trust people
with eye patches.
Pirates have eye patches.
Do you trust a pirate?
Bruce! What are we supposed to do?
Both of our kids have gone
somewhere. I mean I...
Ok, hey, hey, hey. Shhhh.
It's okay. Calm down. Alright?
I will take care of this.
You... go talk to Lando and find Raya.
And I will go see your Master Yoga...
- ...and look for Lucas, ok?
- Really?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
We've gotta get our family back, right?
Yes.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Alright, I'm gonna go.
- Ok.
I'm gonna go put some pants on.
Yep, okay.
Raya!
Help me, Lando Fury.
You're my only hope.
First, we locate
Lucas's superpower DNA...
...that lies dormant in his system,
and we mash it together with
henchman number one's DNA.
Thus, making clown trooper number one
- Ok.
- And then...
...I will take that clown trooper...
...and put it into
another henchman's body.
Then that clown trooper makes
another clown trooper...
- I'm confused.
- ...and so on and so forth...
...until we have a large enough army...
...to your liking, Lord Jokester.
Sounds clowny... and cloney.
Let's do it!
Henchman number one, enter the device.
Lucas, my dear boy.
Enter the device.
Watch your cape.
This ain't gonna hurt him, is it?
You might want to stand back for this.
Coming...
Winter is...
Yes... yes... yes...
Feel it.
Yes! Yes!
And a clown is born.
What a glorious day.
Glorious indeed.
That tickled.
Hello?
Master Yoga!
This place is a dump.
It's weird.
It almost feels like...
Like what?
Who said that?
- I'm right here.
- God!
Man!
You must be Master Yoga.
Wow, you're a lot bigger
than I thought you'd be.
And your body...
Good for you! You're ripped!
Namaste.
Nice to meet you too. Pleasure.
I know.
But we're not here to
talk about my glorious body.
To rescue your son from Dark Jokester,
you must learn the ways of the Farce.
Everyone keeps talking about this farce.
I mean, I don't get it.
Farce this.
You gotta do it what... okay...
- It is in each one of us.
- I don't think it's in me.
It is the ability to
embrace the naughty...
...or the nice.
In any situation.
But to truly understand
the ways of The Farce,
one must have the deepest commitment.
Sweet!
Red belt the first day.
I earned this.
You are not ready.
Then why would you give it to me?
You either do... or you do not.
There is no trying, crying,
whining, complaining,
- questioning...
- What time's lunch?
- Or quitting.
- Okay.
Do you understand?
Yep.
Let's put those things somewhere safe.
That...
I will do whatever it...
First, the toilet you must fix.
The toilet?
No, I'm not the guy.
No questions.
His Naughty training should
begin immediately!
- Yes, my Master.
- And you, Lisp Luthor,
is your device operational?
Almost...
...the device will be ready soon.
I sense danger to
the success of your plan.
- What about the girl?
- You mean my sister?
She's, a lot stronger
than I anticipated,
- Your Honor.
- She won't be a problem.
I will see to it myself, my master.
My master!
Later, haters!
Know your place, Lisp!
You are one minion away from
being my clown trooper.
Dark Lucas,
you ready to begin
your naughty training?
Let's go
Let's go. Dark Lucas.
Breathe deep.
Be at peace.
Now,
tell me about your powers.
Powers?
Really not much to tell.
Ya know,
I really don't have too many powers now.
Although recently, the more angry I get,
I guess the more powerful I am.
I'm getting stronger,
but I mean, I used to be forgetting.
I was as powerful as a locomotive.
I used to be faster
than a speeding bullet.
I mean, I used to fly. I mean,
Jean and I would fly daily.
Like every day.
Sometimes, two, three times a night.
Boy did we fly.
But then you know, we had the twins,
and that took up a lot of her time.
And then, I figured
I'd just fly by myself.
But then you know, you're up
there, and you're like,
I'm just a weird dude flying by myself.
People looking at me.
Do they feel strange?
I feel strange.
It's a very self conscious thing
to be flying around,
and no one really notices.
Or are they noticing?
That's the weird thing.
So then you're just like, forget it.
I'm not going to fly anymore.
But then one day,
I wanted to fly again,
and then couldn't do it so...
Great.
- Can you find her?
- Maybe.
But aren't you a private eye?
Correction,
I have a private eye.
Hence the eye patch.
Clever lady.
Look baby girl,
I could find a black cat in a coal mine,
so my services are gonna cost you.
So, what do you got for me today?
Like cash? Right now?
Yes. Like cash. Right now.
I... I mean...
17 dollars?
Good luck finding your kid!
Wait!
Aren't you interested in apprehending...
...an intergalactic criminal?
Dark Jokester.
He's here, in this city,
he has my son and will probably
soon have my daughter.
Please.
Have you talked to Tony Starch?
Maybe he could get the team
together for you.
Let's just say we have
some wrinkles to iron out...
I'll be in touch.
Please?
It's a nice view up here.
You have committed to the training.
Submit your fear.
In the Farce, you must trust.
Right... trusting in the Farce...
...okay...
Your glasses,
you will not need them.
Trusting in the Farce...
Nope, not really feeling
much Farce right now...
Clowns,
very suspicious.
Look! Dad's car.
Lucas and that freak can't be too far.
Hello?
Lucas!
Where am I?
Peek a boo!
You're my special guest.
Lucas, what are you doing
with this freak?
Freak?
Ouch!
Your brother can't help you anymore...
...now that he's joined me
on the Naughty Side.
Super... naughty.
And I'm gonna need you to
not ruin our master plan...
...so if you could just
stay put here for a little while,
that'd be dandy.
Hey, Dark Lucas.
Should we show her how much fun
it is on the Naughty Side?
Super... fun.
I'm super okay.
Clever girl. I like it!
Let me try.
Lord Lisp made it for me.
Lord Lisp?!
Well, it's like your old cane
but newer and much cooler.
Watch it.
This is great!
I haven't laughed this hard in years!
Ok, enough! No more fun!
- But...
- Just go to the warehouse,
Dark Lucas!
See ya later, sis.
Scram!
Don't be scared.
I'm not afraid.
You're afraid...
...Lucas will become more
powerful than you'll ever be!
Stupid freak.
Today, we are going to focus
on your fighting skills.
Learning to control your anger.
And for this exercise,
I've invited...
...your oldest rival
That's right. It's me.
Beaverine.
Beaverine...
That's right. It's me Beaverine.
No... that's not what I meant.
Forget it.
How's my Jeannie doing?
Differences in the past, you have had.
Aside, you must put them.
Beaverine. No teeth.
Aw, come on.
What's the fun in a fair fight?
Alright.
I've been waiting a long time for this.
I've been waiting
a long time for Jeannie.
What!
Master Yoga said no teeth.
You gonna get that?
I'm gonna let it go to voicemail.
- It might be important.
- Fine.
It's Jean.
Hey, Jean,
- it's me. Beaverine.
- Hey!
You know what, hold on one second.
Hey.
Sorry about that.
I can't wait to see you.
Now... the darkest of gentlemen.
It's time... for the final piece.
- Behold...
- Yeah, baby.
...the star death krypto tesseract...
...in all its apocalyptic glory.
Yes...
You might want to
stand back for this one.
Gentlemen,
it's going to be...
...an icy winter!
Yes!
Yes, it's working!
Yessss!
Shut it down!
Never! It just needs... more power!
Yeahhh!
I said shut it down!
Never, I say!
Feel... my... power!
I'm bald now, right?
I don't notice anything, do you?
Lucas texted me.
Is he OK?
He said he's fine but
wouldn't tell me where he is.
Did you hear anything from Raya?
No, nothing.
I haven't heard from Lando, either.
I'm starting to get really
worried, Bruce.
Look, Raya is a tough girl.
She'll be fine.
I know she's tough, but still.
Look, she's 17 years old.
She's 17 but with superpowers.
Do you remember what we were like
when we were 17?
We wanted to take on the world.
I think we should call the police.
- Call the police?
- Yeah.
What would I say to the police?
"Hey, police. Hi! It's me,
Bruce Kent aka Superbat."
"You guys got a second
to help me find..."
"...my telekinetic daughter
and real genius son?"
"Yeah, they've been captured by
my intergalactic arch-enemy."
"Great! Thank you so much!"
Let's just leave this to
the professionals, ok?
- Okay.
- I will find our kids.
You trust me, right?
This could be them!
Hang on, hang on.
I can't fly anymore.
Honey! That's Beaverine.
Let him in.
Look at you!
You are so hot you're giving me...
...a damn beaver fever. Come here!
- Hi, Beaverine!
- Hey.
- Are these for me?
- Of course.
They're so beautiful.
Do you want some breakfast?
That sounds great.
Take care of this, would you Alfred?
What brings an overgrown rodent
like you to my home?
Yoga doesn't need me to help you today.
So, I thought he could
help me look for Raya...
...and also fix the AC.
Did you?
Yeah, I'm good with my hands.
Right.
I'm gonna go scramble up your eggs.
Well, enjoy that.
I'm gonna get out of here.
Wait, don't you want breakfast?
Nope.
You and Prince Hairy can
enjoy your eggs.
Bruce, wait.
- What? What?
- Bruce, Bruce wait!
During our fight you said that...
...our marriage wasn't always wonderful.
I just want you to know, that sure,
we're having a tough time
right now, but...
I trust that you are going to
get our kids back.
I trust you.
And you can always trust me.
I gotta go.
I fulfilled my end of the bargain, Lisp.
Wrong. You only fulfilled half of
your half of the bargain.
That's only a quarter of the bargain.
I will fulfill my half of the bargain...
...once you complete the whole
of your other half...
...that's another two-eighths
of the bargain.
I'm just trying to get this
stupid ass patch off my face.
This reminds me of an old saying.
"An eye for an eye leaves
the whole world blind."
But I disagree with that sentiment.
What I believe is...
"...an eye for an eye leaves
the whole world blind,"
"except for one remaining one-eyed man."
And you my friend, Monsieur Fury,
are not the cyclops in this metaphor.
I am!
Trust yourself...
Clear your mind...
Use the Farce.
Alright. Let's see what the Farce says.
Concentrate.
When you become one with The Farce,
it may reveal things to you...
...the future,
family,
friends,
enemies...
You can do it, SuperBat
Can't... I can't do it!
It's too heavy.
That was awesome!
I wanna... I wanna do that!
So much doubt in you...
- Stop it!
- You're complaining.
You're whining.
You're still complaining.
- You're still whining.
- I'm not...
I told you 1,000 times...
I don't want anymore!
I mean, are you going to continue...
...to wear an emotional string of
pearls for the rest of your life?
You must not give up, SuperBat!
Look at my face.
Look how calm I am.
It's really quite astounding,
really, if you think about it.
The fact that I can harness
so much anger,
so much bitterness, so much frustration.
But still never let it show.
You see how nice I'm being?
Despite how naughty you are?
It's really quite amazing actually.
SuperBat, you're not ready
to save your family.
Yet.
Same time tomorrow.
New lessons... to learn.
You got it.
I don't think it's working.
Try it now.
It's working! It's working!
Of course it is.
Yeah, it must have been a log...
- ...jammed in the system...
- My gosh...
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
I knew it.
What. Bruce, no!
- No, no, no.
- It's not what you think.
I'm gonna handle this.
Once and for all.
- Look...
- Not now, Beaverine.
What you saw back there, wasn't
what you think it was, okay?
She was fixing the AC, I fixed the AC.
I fixed your AC,
and then she fell off a chair,
and I caught her. Alright?
And the fact is this.
I can't help that I love Jean.
Alright? I've always loved Jean.
But what's even worse than that...
...is that she loves you.
More than anything.
Alright? And I caught her.
And I looked into her eyes.
And you know what her beautiful,
big, blue eyes were telling me?
I love Superbat.
I've been around for
over 350 beaver years.
If you add that up,
that's over 350 years total.
And the deal is this,
I'm never gonna change.
I'm a tough guy.
I'm like John Wayne,
but not John Wayne.
I'm Beaverine.
I'm just saying, you and I,
let's get rid of these hard
feelings between each other.
And know that we can be together.
Not like, intimately.
But like, friends.
It's just hard for me
to say these things...
...cuz I don't experience
a lot of emotions,
and when I do, I get angry.
What do you say?
What do you say, pal?
Good talk.
Somebody here?
Hey!
Hey, loser!
Why would you do that?
I lost my whole family.
Why am I the way I am?
Why are you asking me?
Because I have no one else to talk to!
You are filled with negative emotions.
A person's greatest strength
comes from...
...their effort and attitude.
Embrace the Farce, Dad.
It's never too late to change.
Get outta the road, Jackass!
You two again!
The strength of the Farce
in the girl grows...
...stronger as the sun draws closer.
Has Lisp figured out the device?
The, the device is nearly complete, sir.
Do I need to come down there
and show you what?
No, no, no, no, no, we will,
we will double our efforts, my master.
Do that! Or there will
not be a next time!
You're not my daddy.
My daddy was a real bad man.
He used to drink a lot.
Of milk. I'm gonna have a cookie.
Nice!
Boss her around.
Well?
Can you get that?
Just a minute.
Come on. Get to it.
- Yes.
- Answer the door!
Goddarn it. You, don't move.
What the hell...
Wood.
Sleepywood.
Beaverine?
Who was it?
Hello?
Good night, precious.
Did you like that?
I learned that from this anal
retentive Yogi grain guy,
and then I blew up his whole planet.
- Are you gonna help me, or what?
- You've got it.
Someone's been working out.
Impressive.
You should give me
the number of your trainer.
- Yeah, I'll text it to you later.
- Alright, yeah, yeah.
I need to do some curls for the girls.
Someone ate too much sleepywood.
You cannot compare yourself
to Beaverine.
Let's face it.
He is pure, uncut, raw.
I'm sure there's nothing
between him and Jean.
Cool.
However,
when one thinks about his rock hard abs.
A body that looks as if it's...
...chiseled out of granite.
Ok, thank you. You're not helping.
You're actually making me feel
much worse about myself.
Where'd you get these
burritos, too? They stink.
That is why I got you a present.
I hope it's not another
one of these burritos.
And I'm not cleaning the bathroom again.
Don't even ask.
Last time, I should've got hazard pay.
You didn't even pay me to
make that sign back there.
Look at this!
They're custom.
Handmade in China, perhaps.
Or...
- That's what they told me.
- Wow, this is really nice.
I mean, when my mother
passed, she gave me her pearls,
but I've never gotten
a pair of boots before.
I can promise you...
...I am not dying anytime soon.
Great
SuperBat! Incredible Yoga.
How nice of me to pop by!
You know it's a real pity...
...your wife isn't going to be
here to see this.
What did you do with Jean,
Dark Jokester?
You mean what did
Lando Fury do with Jean?
I knew I couldn't trust that guy.
Don't worry.
He's where your little boy...
...and your precious
daughter are. Lisp Corp!
Where is Lisp Corp?
It's right on the corner of...
...I'm not telling you street
and bwuahaha boulevard.
You will tell me! Right now!
No, no SuperBat!
Your destiny lies on another path.
This fight is mine.
Sweet!
Remember...
...the Farce will be with you,
always.
Now Dark Jokester,
it's time to stop your grinning...
...and drop your linen.
That rhymed!
I haven't seen you
since I was a little fella and,
how things have changed.
I am still... a Master.
Let's boogie
Noooo!
No!
NOOOOOOOO!
That's it?
Well, that was anticlimactic.
Hey, I'm gonna skidaddle.
Catch ya on the flip side!
I have fulfilled my last
two-eighths of...
...the bargain, Lisp.
We have Jean and Raya.
Now give me my damn eye!
What eye?
- That one!
- This eye!
- Yeah.
- This eye right here?
This isn't your eye.
This is someone else's.
Aw, nasty.
You just be going around,
taking people's eyes?
Yeahhh, I'm a super villain.
It's what we do.
You're so evil
I might be evil, but I'm also fair.
When I wage my war...
...and send this world into
an icy apocalypse,
I'll allow you to stand by my side.
So you won't give me my eye back,
and then you threaten my world with war?
Soon, you're going to wish
you never betrayed me.
But I'm the world's
most evil supervillain.
I betray who I want,
when I want,
why I want,
and how I want.
Meet my clowns.
You'll see Fury... you'll all see!
Yes.
Superhero of the year,
stupid... get rid of this!
Highlight reel!
Damn it. Damn it.
Look at this! Superhero Men's Health!
God! All of this stuff!
You! You're the problem!
I'm going to rip this thing right off...
If you're through having
your tantrum Mr. Kent,
- maybe we could...
- Hey!
Zip it, Creepio!
Lucas, it's Dad.
Listen I know it sounds crazy, but...
I just... I realized right now
exactly how much...
...you and your mother
and your sister mean to me.
And I'm not sure
if you'll get this message,
or if I'll ever see you again, but...
I want you to know something.
I know that you're super nerdy and...
...and you don't have powers yet but...
You're my son.
And you're my only son.
And that makes you
incredibly special to me.
I love you, buddy.
Dad... Dad, wake up! Dad!
Raya! My baby! Are you okay?
Where's Mom?
She's at Lisp Corp.
I just escaped from there.
That's where Lucas is and your car...
What happened in here?
Daddy was just doing
some redecorating. That's all.
Grandma.
No, no, no, don't don't.
Mommy! Not again!
I failed you! I failed you again!
What happened, Dad?
I tried to save her, but I couldn't.
It's the reason I became Superbat.
The doctors...
The doctors, they couldn't help.
I couldn't help.
She just died.
Yeah, but... how did she die?
She stopped breathing.
She was so old.
God, she loved these pearls.
Dad, it's not your fault that she died.
It's not your fault she died
of natural causes.
- Right, yeah.
- Yeah.
Raya, you're right. Yeah!
Yeah!
- It's not my fault!
- not at all!
It's not my fault!
Exactly!
Okay! Okay! I'm over it!
Cool, okay, so brush yourself off...
...because I need the old SuperBat back!
We've got work to do!
- You're right!
- Yeah!
Let's go embrace the Farce!
That's right. It's me. Beaverine.
Here to help kick some butt!
It is nearly the highest of noon.
Soon!
The sun will be the closest
it's ever been to the earth!
And I will drain its power
for everything.
The world... will fall into
a frozen tundra,
and I will rule the ice...
...as king of winter.
Yes.
There will be more guards.
Where are all the clown troopers?
Wait... they're behind us.
We're surrounded.
We can take them.
Spread out.
- Raya, stay back!
- I can do this! I can fight!
Raya!
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't kill you!
It... was... part... of the plan!
The plan?!
Tell me the plan!
Hey, panther!
Keep your eye on the prize!
Who are you supposed to be?
My real persona is based off
a few pop culture characters.
But now...
I'm the Furious Panther!
Okay.
Superbat!
You idiots! Beat him!
You have super DNA!
No! No!
Noooo!
I signed us up for a father-son
summer camp.
Which RV should we get?
Pretty cool!
Hi! Hello! Mr. I don't know
whose chair I'm sitting in,
but I don't think you grasp...
...the disparity of
the situation right now.
SuperBat and his super sonic idiotic...
...double-Decker ding dongs...
...just took out the perimeter forces.
Bro.
Somebody had a lot of coffee today.
Where'd you get that jacket,
a panda convention?
I mean, am I right?
Look at that thing.
I know you're trying to
rid the world of heat,
but you need to "chill out."
Go plug in your super computer
or something.
I can't with you.
Get me Jean Wonder.
My mom is here?
Yeah. Her and your sister are
part of my master plan.
But I thought Raya escaped?
Right.
That was also a part of my master plan.
My car!
Raya! Come with me!
Get in the game, Dad!
Nobody touches my daughter!
It's working!
Yesss!
That does not look good.
What doth be?
Looks like some kind of
a sun-draining...
...winter-inducing doomsday device.
We don't have much time!
Well, we didn't get
all dressed up for nothing.
Raya, stay close.
I can handle it.
We need a plan of attack!
We need a plan of attack!
Plan of attack?
The plan of attack is... ATTACK!
They're inside.
Maybe we should get out of here.
In my moment of triumph?
You overestimate their chances!
Release my batch of
SuperDuper-ClownTroopers.
These ones have my DNA...
...and green hair like us.
Insurance policy, you know.
What the-aw hell.
These guys are tougher
than the other ones!
Let's get them!
Spread out everyone!
These are harder than the last guys.
You guys get to the elevators.
We'll hold off these clowns.
You doing a really great job.
Thanks, Dad! You too!
Taught you well.
Alright, let's kick some butt.
Bruce! Raya!
Lucas has turned naughty.
But Mother,
I haven't felt this good
in a looong time.
Right on time!
Please... have a seat!
Release us, Dark Jokester!
Release us, Dark Jokester!
Are you not having any fun
in my Naughty Time Container?
Well, not to worry,
cuz soon, you're gonna
laugh out all your powers.
That's right! You see,
this microphone captures your laughter.
Hello.
And it takes it all the way
along this wire to this...
...very special containment device...
...that I created all by myself.
Isn't it cool?
It's just a stupid popcorn maker.
Precisely! I... eat... your... powers!
Nom nom nom nom! I eat them up!
So good! Except for you Jean Wonder.
You're powerless!
This is so ridiculous!
I'm glad you think so.
Now, let's make it... hilarious!
More! Feel it!
Honey?
Jean?! This is incredible!
How can you do this?
I thought you didn't have
any super powers left.
I'm a woman.
We can read every man's mind.
It's not a super power.
It's true. We can.
Honey, listen to me.
I want to tell you,
I never stopped loving you.
I've always loved you.
You trust me, right?
I trust you.
Remember your training, SuperBat.
Your family, you will save.
Incredible Master Yoga?
Yes.
Why are there so many voices
in my head?!
Please, Dad, concentrate,
my jaw is starting to hurt.
I got your message, Dad.
I'm sorry I stole your car
and got us into this mess.
You've always been my favorite hero.
And it's not cuz you're my dad.
It's cuz you're my favorite hero.
Look at me, buddy.
None of this is your fault.
It's my fault.
I made so many terrible mistakes...
I've been such a bad father
and an even worse husband...
I'm so so sorry.
The old me is gone.
I will...
I will... embrace the Farce.
Embrace the Farce.
I will embrace the Farce.
- I love you all.
- Bruce?!
- Dad?!
- Dad?!
You like that one?
Dad?
What is going on?
No, no, what's happening?
No!
NO!
NO!
Dad!
Son, are you okay?
Come here. I love you guys.
Your evil plan will never
succeed Dark Jokester!
Haha! It already has!
I wasn't trying to turn your
powers to popcorn, you fools!
It was... theatrical deception!
Of course! The Star Death
Krypto Tesseract!
Dad, you must stop Lisp Luthor from...
...draining the sun and save the planet!
We can take care of this clown.
Just take mom somewhere safe...
...and then destroy
the thing on the roof.
Fly me, Superbat.
Fly me like you used to!
You want me to fly with you, baby?
Yes, I want to fly so bad!
I'll fly you in front of everyone.
Wow, I missed this so much!
Me too! This is great!
Gosh!
And I thought I was creepy.
Eww...
What the heck was that all about?
Our parents are so weird.
Who goes first?
You can go first.
I always go first!
But what if he goes for you, first?
Well, then I'll block and you hit him.
And vice versa. Cool?
Cool. So who goes first?
He does!
- Who's going first?
- You!
That's it? He's really gone?
No matter how strong a man is,
no matter what his super powers are,
a direct kick to the nuts will
end a fight instantly.
Good to know.
Hey, Cap, you gotta go for
their huevos rancheros.
I did it! I flew!
Wow, that was really great.
You wanna do it again?
- I wanna...
- Come here!
Thank you, Jean.
You truly are wonderful.
Go save the world, SuperBat.
I will always be there for you.
Bingo!
Take that, Luthor!
- Bingo!
- Darn you, Superbat!
Take that, Luthor!
Yeah.
Hello? Where am I?
Did I become the king of winter?
Is this my throne room?
Sir, you're just in shock,
but you're in good hands now.
You had a car thrown at you,
but I have good news...
Yeah?
Theatrical deception!
No, please! Don't hurt me!
I'm not gonna hurt ya.
I'm just gonna tickle ya...
- ...really, really, bad.
- No!
Stop!
Stop!
There has been an awakening.
Awaken!
I'm up, I'm awake, what's going on?
Master, you're up early.
What is thy bidding?
The twins of SuperBat turn
17 this 'morrow.
The Farce is strong with the girl,
but in the boy I feel is weak.
Do you have the Star Death Krypto
Tesseract thing-a-ma-goo?
Behold!
That ball of green greatness has
the power to freeze planets.
Grab your coat and earmuffs Jokester,
it's going to be a bumpy winter.
Come on!
Freeze!
Listen here, it's a stick-up see?
- Give me the cash.
- Come on!
- Hey, hey!
- Don't move.
This ain't no peashooter.
Hey, hey, hey!
Come any closer and I'll clip her.
Keep the change.
Hey! Get away from my car!
What's wrong with you two?
This car is a classic!
What are you nuts?
It's ok baby, daddy is right here.
Did they hurt you?
What the...
Drop the peashooter.
- Sorry.
- You think this is funny?
Look, just give us our ball back.
You want your ball back?
Here, get your ball back.
Gosh, no respect for their elders.
Bill, Susan.
What's that?
Yes, come on.
Honey, did you pick up the ice?
Yeah, I got it.
My hero.
Why's it so hot in here?
What's up with the A/C?
I think the unit outside is broken.
Could this day get any worse?
The guy on the news said the sun
will be the closest it's been...
- ...in 2,000 years.
- Great.
Do you think you could fix the AC?
Well, I bet Alfred could...
...if he wasn't dead.
I miss Alfred.
Me too.
What's wrong?
The security company
I applied to rejected me.
Honey, I'm so sorry.
Well, don't give up.
I trust someone will hire you.
I tried them all, but nobody wants me.
Well, I want you...
...to snap out of it!
Today is not about your problems...
...and you are not going to hide
in the Man-Cave of Solitude.
Where are my bracelets?
Today is about being with your family.
There we go.
Do you hear me Bruce Kent?
Yes, every word Jean Wonder.
Good.
I'm in here.
Raya, hey.
Wait, how did you know that I was...
I can read the thoughts of
the weak minded
Okay, sorry.
That's new though. That's cool!
It started this morning.
I can't lift anything
much heavier but...
I can do this.
Look at you!
Nice! You know, when your mom was young,
she used to be able to make one...
Great, Dad.
- Thanks. Anything else?
- Sorry.
- Yes I have to ask...
- Well, I don't care...
...because the internet is down again,
- tell him Lucas.
- Tell me what?
The AC is definitely broken.
- Did you break it?
- His stupid robot did.
Hello, I am C-R-E-P-O.
Human to cyborg assistance unit.
- Buddy...
- We were trying to fix it!
I built him for you to
help you around the house.
Lucas, I mean this thing is very creepy.
It's not creepy to think that
while you all are sleeping,
I am still awake cleaning.
I appreciate the help. I do,
but I ran a multi-billion dollar
newspaper empire...
Into bankruptcy
Thank you.
Surely I can fix the air conditioning.
You are in desperate need of
employment Mr. Kent.
Nobody's talking to you, Creepio.
0100100101 Malfunction.
Malfunction!
Come on, Lucas.
Look, stop fiddling with the robot,
and start concentrating on your
superpowers like your sister.
There! There! He's perfect!
I don't think so.
Perfectly stupid
What if I never get my powers?
Lucas.
You'll get your powers!
Girls just mature faster than boys...
...which is why we lose ours
earlier than you.
Well, your father's are fading,
but my powers, they're gone.
Superhero fact 37192.
Knowledge is the real power.
You should seriously
consider reprograming your robot.
Happy birthday my babies.
You can go.
Lucas, I'm following you.
Beep beep beep bop bop beep beep.
Dark Jokester.
Lisp Luthor.
You look nothing like
your Myspace profile picture.
Well, beauty is in the eye of
the beholder I always say.
Well, the pleasure is mine,
put her there.
Works every time.
Should have saw that coming.
Very sneaky, yes.
How about I show you a real magic trick?
Wanna see a pencil disappear?
Maybe another time.
You're no fun.
Anyways, shall we?
After you, ha!
What a lovely jester.
I find that joke offensive.
Only clowns are
allowed to use that word.
My apologies.
Just show me your toys.
Yes, okay, well, this way.
- Look at this guy.
- Hey, Marty, how are ya?
I think Creepio's fixed now.
I...
I've installed some health
and fitness programs on him.
Maybe he could help us both
with our super powers?
We can start by giving you
a physical, Mr. Kent.
- What do you think?
- No, thank you.
It's great, son.
Why don't you put him in a corner?
Somewhere where I can't see him?
You really are into
those gadgets though?
Yeah, I used to like gadgets too.
Nobody puts C-R-E-P-O in the corner.
Tony Starch!
Haven't been in the Man Cave
of Solitude in a while...
Hey, hey, hey, don't touch that!
God Lucas! Look what you did!
I told you not to touch this.
I'm sorry it was an accident
An accident, just like the air
conditioner was an accident.
Do me a favor.
Don't touch anything.
Don't try to fix anything. Okay?
Dad, I'm really sorry.
Just leave.
Mommy!
Nooooooooo!
No. She's everywhere!
Goodness. Mommy!
She's ruined.
I can fix it.
Get out!
My bad.
Don't let your man cave
become your tomb, Bruce.
Even your belt doesn't want to
be around you Mr. Kent.
I know, I know.
It has taken me years...
...of science and mathematics
and calibrations.
But once this doomsday
device is complete,
we will have the most epic,
devastating, doomsday
device in existence.
I love it.
But first, we need an army.
Oo, could we dress them up
like little clowns?
Yes, clowns,
and then I need the Star
Death Krypto Tesseract...
...to power the device.
I just happen to know a guy.
But first, we need to kidnap
Superbat's son.
Yeah, anything to annoy Superbat.
And we need take the superpowered DNA...
...that lies dormant in his system.
I'll leave that nerdy stuff up to you.
And we splice his DNA
with my current henchmen,
- making super soldiers!
- Okay, enough!
Geez!
That looks really...
...dumb, Lisp.
It looks like a coffee machine...
...with a bunch of
science stuff taped to it.
But Jokester.
Looks are deceiving!
Once this device is complete,
we'll have the whole world
bending at the kneecaps.
Okay, don't get too excited...
...about your silly little
doomsday device.
Its powers are insignificant...
...next to the naughtiness of the farce.
The farce?
Please don't try to threaten me
with some mumbo...
Gosh, what's this?
I find your lack of humor disturbing.
Stop it! You're tickling me! Stop!
Stop it! Stop it!
I'm gonna pee I swear!
The importance of this mission is
no laughing matter.
Put me down.
Dark Jokester, you're a clown.
Laughing is the only thing that matters.
I can still hear you.
Idiot.
Gracias, amigo.
So she says to me, "Hey!
You forgot to save my husband."
And I was like, "no I didn't."
No?
This party totally just got...
AWESOME. My god!
It's Tony Starch!
Great. Mr. Wonderful's here.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't Ironing Man himself?
Cute boots and belt SuperFat.
Thank you.
We in recession?
I wouldn't know.
No seriously that suit
could use a trip to...
...one of my four million
dry cleaners worldwide.
- Could it?
- Super clean.
Super fast. Super cheap.
Super what?
Here's a five dollar
coupon off your first visit,
Thank you very much.
Good at any location, or...?
- Domestic.
- Domestic.
Seriously, that was a good one.
- Great...
- Listen, Jean contacted me,
and she wanted me to offer you...
...I don't know some sort of position.
Not interested.
I don't know why she would
call you. I'm doing fine.
Speak of the she-devil.
- Hi.
- Jean Wonder.
You're looking wonderful in those jeans.
Tony.
You always know how to talk to women.
He owes me 5 bucks.
Right.
My kids are dying to meet you.
Can you blame them?
I'm dying to meet myself.
Come here
Raya, Lucas.
This is our good friend, Tony Starch.
Happy birthday kids.
He talked to us.
Wow, Mr. Starch you're like...
...the greatest inventor on the planet.
- I know I am.
- No seriously. You're my hero.
I'm also my hero... Raya.
Mr. Starch, is it true you invented...
Beat it Lucas!
Go find a superpower!
Mr. Starch I built a...
That's the one!
Her superpowers are remarkable.
Not her, you jack wagon! The boy!
But we're outnumbered.
Even Tony Starch is here.
So we wait for
the right opportunity, duh.
Big mistake, sister.
Video game fight, right now.
Auto dry!
That was weird.
The oldest battle in history.
Brother versus sister.
Boy versus girl.
X chromosome versus Y chromosome.
The son of SuperBat versus
the daughter of Jean Wonder.
Player One Ready.
Player Two Ready.
Fight!
"Power Up."
Lord versus lass.
Blue and pink.
Shut up!
Lisp! You're ruining my sound effects.
Sorry.
Honey? Honey?
- Yeah?
- Do you see what's going on?
- Yeah.
- Hey! Hey!
Guys, break it up!
Stop it! You two!
Kids! Stop!
Stop it!
Your powers are pathetic just
like your idiotic inventions!
Well, your pigtails are stupid!
Let me go!
Not good.
Today couldn't get any better.
You... killed him! You monster!
You gotta be kidding me, Raya?
Thanks for ruining my life, Dad!
You just killed my hero.
Lucas, you knocked my arm into his...
So it's my fault?
You didn't like him anyway!
Nothing I do is ever
good enough for you!
Lucas, don't make this about that!
Alright. Let's move in.
Hello. Master Lucas.
Are you in need of some assist...
I wouldn't touch that if I were you...
Honey, that was crazy, right?
I'm going to...
I don't want to hear it.
I trust you will fix this.
Now!
Okay.
Stupid robot.
Stupid family.
Stupid no powers.
Hello, Lucas. Rough day?
Who are you?
Someone who sympathizes
with certain situations.
I'm sorry. What?
It's really tough to understand you...
...with so many 's' words.
Call me a friend.
Sweet wheels, aren't they?
I'm not supposed to touch it.
But what Super Daddy doesn't know...
won't hurt Super Daddy.
But you must admit.
It does feel nice to be a little...
...naughty sometimes.
Yes...
...yes...
...yes...
Why is this happening to me?
Why do you mock my pain?
Another satisfied audience.
Dark Jokester, I knew that you...
Witness the full power...
...of the Naughty Side of the farce!
Now... Superbat.
You may die...
...laughing!
Sometimes I crack myself up.
This is only the beginning...
...theatrical deception!
Raya is in her room. She's
a little emotional right now.
I'm going after this clown.
Who's coming with me?
Sorry, buddy but I just have
a lot of things going on.
My wife is pregnant and we have
at least six other kids...
...at home and we planned
a trip to Mexico to visit...
...my wife's parents
before the new kid arrives...
...so I can't really commit
to a rescue right now.
In fact, I should be home.
Yes, I'm definitely late.
I trust you understand my position...
...and I hope that another
mission presents itself...
...in the near future at which
time you should contact me...
...and perhaps...
...we can work together then.
It's been a lovely party, yeah...
I wish you the best.
I'm really sorry Superbat, but...
...I've gotta get home and
feed my cats their spiders...
...and my spiders their cats...
...and my spider cats...
I don't know what they eat yet.
Thorbacca?
Bruce, I really want to, but you know,
it's a very busy time of
the year you know,
with the convention of the gods, and...
...but may our paths cross again
in another shared universe.
Now, thy bid thee farewell.
Come on.
It's not fair.
She's more powerful than I had imagined.
She's just a girl!
NOT! FAIR! NOT! FAIR!
Woah, this place is awesome!
Sour toxic shocks, I love these!
But SOON,
you will learn to harness
all your powers,
and we will rule the galaxy together.
- Okay.
- Here.
Have some candy, boy.
Just one, just one.
I suppose it's good to get it out.
Sweet sweet. Mommy.
Mommy. I'm so sorry.
Bruce!
Goodness! You are filthy, honey.
Take a shower.
Ok. So I was thinking...
Dark Jokester said there's
a naughty side of the farce.
So if there's a naughty side,
there must be a nice side as well.
I know somebody
who knows about this stuff.
Who? Gandalf?
Dumbledore?
Obi Wan?
Professor Xavier?
Old Rocky Balboa!
Jean Roqua?
- From Never Back Down?
- Maybe?
This isn't some dumb science fiction...
...or coming of-age martial arts story.
This is serious.
I'm talking about my former
yoga instructor, Master Yoga.
He is incredible!
I texted him.
You know, I'm really not into
all that new age nonsense,
honey. It's just, I'm not.
My father knew Dark Jokester.
My real father.
A long time ago, Dark Jokester
came to destroy his planet.
And that's why he put me
in that gold spaceship...
...that my Earth parents found me in.
And then my Earth parents melted
the spaceship down...
...and cashed in the gold for billions.
I never knew that about you.
Me neither. I had to read it
on my Wikipedia page.
Then it must be true.
Master Yoga replied.
He says, "I know about The Farce
and will train your husband."
So cute! He put this little Farce emoji.
Alright, I have a question.
What if Lucas is just done with us?
Think about it.
I mean, he's 17 years old.
Maybe it's time that we just let him go.
Let him go? Do you have
bats in your brain?
No...
I'm just saying.
All of this, you know,
it all can't be just bad luck.
You take that back right now Bruce Kent!
I want you to think and
be very clear with your words.
You want me to be clear with my words?
Ok, how's this for clear.
I have no job, no money,
and my powers are evaporating.
I just killed Tony Starch,
and so now the kids don't
want me around anymore.
And my marriage to Mrs. Jean Wonder is,
surprise, surprise.
Not wonderful.
Now my car got stolen by your son...
...who's working with
my father's murderer...
...to become my new arch-enemy.
And to top it all off,
I am now covered wearing
my dead mother's ashes!
Is that clear enough for you?
Then leave!
I can't leave. This is my house
Fine, I'll leave.
What happened to the man I married?
Mommy.
Raya!
Raya!
Bruce!
Raya's gone!
- Really? Come on!
- Yes!
You know,
you say one thing to that girl.
Raya Gladys Kent!
You really upset her last night.
Please! I was just talking to her.
She's so emotional at that age.
- Raya!
- Raya!
- She just texted. Yeah,
- Really? Read it.
Out loud, please!
"Gone to look for Lucas
and save family."
Alright, gosh.
I'm going to call Lando.
I think he can fix this...
No, no! I do not trust Lando.
Why? Because he has dreads?
No!
Because he has an eye patch.
Alright? I don't trust people
with eye patches.
Pirates have eye patches.
Do you trust a pirate?
Bruce! What are we supposed to do?
Both of our kids have gone
somewhere. I mean I...
Ok, hey, hey, hey. Shhhh.
It's okay. Calm down. Alright?
I will take care of this.
You... go talk to Lando and find Raya.
And I will go see your Master Yoga...
- ...and look for Lucas, ok?
- Really?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
We've gotta get our family back, right?
Yes.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Alright, I'm gonna go.
- Ok.
I'm gonna go put some pants on.
Yep, okay.
Raya!
Help me, Lando Fury.
You're my only hope.
First, we locate
Lucas's superpower DNA...
...that lies dormant in his system,
and we mash it together with
henchman number one's DNA.
Thus, making clown trooper number one
- Ok.
- And then...
...I will take that clown trooper...
...and put it into
another henchman's body.
Then that clown trooper makes
another clown trooper...
- I'm confused.
- ...and so on and so forth...
...until we have a large enough army...
...to your liking, Lord Jokester.
Sounds clowny... and cloney.
Let's do it!
Henchman number one, enter the device.
Lucas, my dear boy.
Enter the device.
Watch your cape.
This ain't gonna hurt him, is it?
You might want to stand back for this.
Coming...
Winter is...
Yes... yes... yes...
Feel it.
Yes! Yes!
And a clown is born.
What a glorious day.
Glorious indeed.
That tickled.
Hello?
Master Yoga!
This place is a dump.
It's weird.
It almost feels like...
Like what?
Who said that?
- I'm right here.
- God!
Man!
You must be Master Yoga.
Wow, you're a lot bigger
than I thought you'd be.
And your body...
Good for you! You're ripped!
Namaste.
Nice to meet you too. Pleasure.
I know.
But we're not here to
talk about my glorious body.
To rescue your son from Dark Jokester,
you must learn the ways of the Farce.
Everyone keeps talking about this farce.
I mean, I don't get it.
Farce this.
You gotta do it what... okay...
- It is in each one of us.
- I don't think it's in me.
It is the ability to
embrace the naughty...
...or the nice.
In any situation.
But to truly understand
the ways of The Farce,
one must have the deepest commitment.
Sweet!
Red belt the first day.
I earned this.
You are not ready.
Then why would you give it to me?
You either do... or you do not.
There is no trying, crying,
whining, complaining,
- questioning...
- What time's lunch?
- Or quitting.
- Okay.
Do you understand?
Yep.
Let's put those things somewhere safe.
That...
I will do whatever it...
First, the toilet you must fix.
The toilet?
No, I'm not the guy.
No questions.
His Naughty training should
begin immediately!
- Yes, my Master.
- And you, Lisp Luthor,
is your device operational?
Almost...
...the device will be ready soon.
I sense danger to
the success of your plan.
- What about the girl?
- You mean my sister?
She's, a lot stronger
than I anticipated,
- Your Honor.
- She won't be a problem.
I will see to it myself, my master.
My master!
Later, haters!
Know your place, Lisp!
You are one minion away from
being my clown trooper.
Dark Lucas,
you ready to begin
your naughty training?
Let's go
Let's go. Dark Lucas.
Breathe deep.
Be at peace.
Now,
tell me about your powers.
Powers?
Really not much to tell.
Ya know,
I really don't have too many powers now.
Although recently, the more angry I get,
I guess the more powerful I am.
I'm getting stronger,
but I mean, I used to be forgetting.
I was as powerful as a locomotive.
I used to be faster
than a speeding bullet.
I mean, I used to fly. I mean,
Jean and I would fly daily.
Like every day.
Sometimes, two, three times a night.
Boy did we fly.
But then you know, we had the twins,
and that took up a lot of her time.
And then, I figured
I'd just fly by myself.
But then you know, you're up
there, and you're like,
I'm just a weird dude flying by myself.
People looking at me.
Do they feel strange?
I feel strange.
It's a very self conscious thing
to be flying around,
and no one really notices.
Or are they noticing?
That's the weird thing.
So then you're just like, forget it.
I'm not going to fly anymore.
But then one day,
I wanted to fly again,
and then couldn't do it so...
Great.
- Can you find her?
- Maybe.
But aren't you a private eye?
Correction,
I have a private eye.
Hence the eye patch.
Clever lady.
Look baby girl,
I could find a black cat in a coal mine,
so my services are gonna cost you.
So, what do you got for me today?
Like cash? Right now?
Yes. Like cash. Right now.
I... I mean...
17 dollars?
Good luck finding your kid!
Wait!
Aren't you interested in apprehending...
...an intergalactic criminal?
Dark Jokester.
He's here, in this city,
he has my son and will probably
soon have my daughter.
Please.
Have you talked to Tony Starch?
Maybe he could get the team
together for you.
Let's just say we have
some wrinkles to iron out...
I'll be in touch.
Please?
It's a nice view up here.
You have committed to the training.
Submit your fear.
In the Farce, you must trust.
Right... trusting in the Farce...
...okay...
Your glasses,
you will not need them.
Trusting in the Farce...
Nope, not really feeling
much Farce right now...
Clowns,
very suspicious.
Look! Dad's car.
Lucas and that freak can't be too far.
Hello?
Lucas!
Where am I?
Peek a boo!
You're my special guest.
Lucas, what are you doing
with this freak?
Freak?
Ouch!
Your brother can't help you anymore...
...now that he's joined me
on the Naughty Side.
Super... naughty.
And I'm gonna need you to
not ruin our master plan...
...so if you could just
stay put here for a little while,
that'd be dandy.
Hey, Dark Lucas.
Should we show her how much fun
it is on the Naughty Side?
Super... fun.
I'm super okay.
Clever girl. I like it!
Let me try.
Lord Lisp made it for me.
Lord Lisp?!
Well, it's like your old cane
but newer and much cooler.
Watch it.
This is great!
I haven't laughed this hard in years!
Ok, enough! No more fun!
- But...
- Just go to the warehouse,
Dark Lucas!
See ya later, sis.
Scram!
Don't be scared.
I'm not afraid.
You're afraid...
...Lucas will become more
powerful than you'll ever be!
Stupid freak.
Today, we are going to focus
on your fighting skills.
Learning to control your anger.
And for this exercise,
I've invited...
...your oldest rival
That's right. It's me.
Beaverine.
Beaverine...
That's right. It's me Beaverine.
No... that's not what I meant.
Forget it.
How's my Jeannie doing?
Differences in the past, you have had.
Aside, you must put them.
Beaverine. No teeth.
Aw, come on.
What's the fun in a fair fight?
Alright.
I've been waiting a long time for this.
I've been waiting
a long time for Jeannie.
What!
Master Yoga said no teeth.
You gonna get that?
I'm gonna let it go to voicemail.
- It might be important.
- Fine.
It's Jean.
Hey, Jean,
- it's me. Beaverine.
- Hey!
You know what, hold on one second.
Hey.
Sorry about that.
I can't wait to see you.
Now... the darkest of gentlemen.
It's time... for the final piece.
- Behold...
- Yeah, baby.
...the star death krypto tesseract...
...in all its apocalyptic glory.
Yes...
You might want to
stand back for this one.
Gentlemen,
it's going to be...
...an icy winter!
Yes!
Yes, it's working!
Yessss!
Shut it down!
Never! It just needs... more power!
Yeahhh!
I said shut it down!
Never, I say!
Feel... my... power!
I'm bald now, right?
I don't notice anything, do you?
Lucas texted me.
Is he OK?
He said he's fine but
wouldn't tell me where he is.
Did you hear anything from Raya?
No, nothing.
I haven't heard from Lando, either.
I'm starting to get really
worried, Bruce.
Look, Raya is a tough girl.
She'll be fine.
I know she's tough, but still.
Look, she's 17 years old.
She's 17 but with superpowers.
Do you remember what we were like
when we were 17?
We wanted to take on the world.
I think we should call the police.
- Call the police?
- Yeah.
What would I say to the police?
"Hey, police. Hi! It's me,
Bruce Kent aka Superbat."
"You guys got a second
to help me find..."
"...my telekinetic daughter
and real genius son?"
"Yeah, they've been captured by
my intergalactic arch-enemy."
"Great! Thank you so much!"
Let's just leave this to
the professionals, ok?
- Okay.
- I will find our kids.
You trust me, right?
This could be them!
Hang on, hang on.
I can't fly anymore.
Honey! That's Beaverine.
Let him in.
Look at you!
You are so hot you're giving me...
...a damn beaver fever. Come here!
- Hi, Beaverine!
- Hey.
- Are these for me?
- Of course.
They're so beautiful.
Do you want some breakfast?
That sounds great.
Take care of this, would you Alfred?
What brings an overgrown rodent
like you to my home?
Yoga doesn't need me to help you today.
So, I thought he could
help me look for Raya...
...and also fix the AC.
Did you?
Yeah, I'm good with my hands.
Right.
I'm gonna go scramble up your eggs.
Well, enjoy that.
I'm gonna get out of here.
Wait, don't you want breakfast?
Nope.
You and Prince Hairy can
enjoy your eggs.
Bruce, wait.
- What? What?
- Bruce, Bruce wait!
During our fight you said that...
...our marriage wasn't always wonderful.
I just want you to know, that sure,
we're having a tough time
right now, but...
I trust that you are going to
get our kids back.
I trust you.
And you can always trust me.
I gotta go.
I fulfilled my end of the bargain, Lisp.
Wrong. You only fulfilled half of
your half of the bargain.
That's only a quarter of the bargain.
I will fulfill my half of the bargain...
...once you complete the whole
of your other half...
...that's another two-eighths
of the bargain.
I'm just trying to get this
stupid ass patch off my face.
This reminds me of an old saying.
"An eye for an eye leaves
the whole world blind."
But I disagree with that sentiment.
What I believe is...
"...an eye for an eye leaves
the whole world blind,"
"except for one remaining one-eyed man."
And you my friend, Monsieur Fury,
are not the cyclops in this metaphor.
I am!
Trust yourself...
Clear your mind...
Use the Farce.
Alright. Let's see what the Farce says.
Concentrate.
When you become one with The Farce,
it may reveal things to you...
...the future,
family,
friends,
enemies...
You can do it, SuperBat
Can't... I can't do it!
It's too heavy.
That was awesome!
I wanna... I wanna do that!
So much doubt in you...
- Stop it!
- You're complaining.
You're whining.
You're still complaining.
- You're still whining.
- I'm not...
I told you 1,000 times...
I don't want anymore!
I mean, are you going to continue...
...to wear an emotional string of
pearls for the rest of your life?
You must not give up, SuperBat!
Look at my face.
Look how calm I am.
It's really quite astounding,
really, if you think about it.
The fact that I can harness
so much anger,
so much bitterness, so much frustration.
But still never let it show.
You see how nice I'm being?
Despite how naughty you are?
It's really quite amazing actually.
SuperBat, you're not ready
to save your family.
Yet.
Same time tomorrow.
New lessons... to learn.
You got it.
I don't think it's working.
Try it now.
It's working! It's working!
Of course it is.
Yeah, it must have been a log...
- ...jammed in the system...
- My gosh...
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
I knew it.
What. Bruce, no!
- No, no, no.
- It's not what you think.
I'm gonna handle this.
Once and for all.
- Look...
- Not now, Beaverine.
What you saw back there, wasn't
what you think it was, okay?
She was fixing the AC, I fixed the AC.
I fixed your AC,
and then she fell off a chair,
and I caught her. Alright?
And the fact is this.
I can't help that I love Jean.
Alright? I've always loved Jean.
But what's even worse than that...
...is that she loves you.
More than anything.
Alright? And I caught her.
And I looked into her eyes.
And you know what her beautiful,
big, blue eyes were telling me?
I love Superbat.
I've been around for
over 350 beaver years.
If you add that up,
that's over 350 years total.
And the deal is this,
I'm never gonna change.
I'm a tough guy.
I'm like John Wayne,
but not John Wayne.
I'm Beaverine.
I'm just saying, you and I,
let's get rid of these hard
feelings between each other.
And know that we can be together.
Not like, intimately.
But like, friends.
It's just hard for me
to say these things...
...cuz I don't experience
a lot of emotions,
and when I do, I get angry.
What do you say?
What do you say, pal?
Good talk.
Somebody here?
Hey!
Hey, loser!
Why would you do that?
I lost my whole family.
Why am I the way I am?
Why are you asking me?
Because I have no one else to talk to!
You are filled with negative emotions.
A person's greatest strength
comes from...
...their effort and attitude.
Embrace the Farce, Dad.
It's never too late to change.
Get outta the road, Jackass!
You two again!
The strength of the Farce
in the girl grows...
...stronger as the sun draws closer.
Has Lisp figured out the device?
The, the device is nearly complete, sir.
Do I need to come down there
and show you what?
No, no, no, no, no, we will,
we will double our efforts, my master.
Do that! Or there will
not be a next time!
You're not my daddy.
My daddy was a real bad man.
He used to drink a lot.
Of milk. I'm gonna have a cookie.
Nice!
Boss her around.
Well?
Can you get that?
Just a minute.
Come on. Get to it.
- Yes.
- Answer the door!
Goddarn it. You, don't move.
What the hell...
Wood.
Sleepywood.
Beaverine?
Who was it?
Hello?
Good night, precious.
Did you like that?
I learned that from this anal
retentive Yogi grain guy,
and then I blew up his whole planet.
- Are you gonna help me, or what?
- You've got it.
Someone's been working out.
Impressive.
You should give me
the number of your trainer.
- Yeah, I'll text it to you later.
- Alright, yeah, yeah.
I need to do some curls for the girls.
Someone ate too much sleepywood.
You cannot compare yourself
to Beaverine.
Let's face it.
He is pure, uncut, raw.
I'm sure there's nothing
between him and Jean.
Cool.
However,
when one thinks about his rock hard abs.
A body that looks as if it's...
...chiseled out of granite.
Ok, thank you. You're not helping.
You're actually making me feel
much worse about myself.
Where'd you get these
burritos, too? They stink.
That is why I got you a present.
I hope it's not another
one of these burritos.
And I'm not cleaning the bathroom again.
Don't even ask.
Last time, I should've got hazard pay.
You didn't even pay me to
make that sign back there.
Look at this!
They're custom.
Handmade in China, perhaps.
Or...
- That's what they told me.
- Wow, this is really nice.
I mean, when my mother
passed, she gave me her pearls,
but I've never gotten
a pair of boots before.
I can promise you...
...I am not dying anytime soon.
Great
SuperBat! Incredible Yoga.
How nice of me to pop by!
You know it's a real pity...
...your wife isn't going to be
here to see this.
What did you do with Jean,
Dark Jokester?
You mean what did
Lando Fury do with Jean?
I knew I couldn't trust that guy.
Don't worry.
He's where your little boy...
...and your precious
daughter are. Lisp Corp!
Where is Lisp Corp?
It's right on the corner of...
...I'm not telling you street
and bwuahaha boulevard.
You will tell me! Right now!
No, no SuperBat!
Your destiny lies on another path.
This fight is mine.
Sweet!
Remember...
...the Farce will be with you,
always.
Now Dark Jokester,
it's time to stop your grinning...
...and drop your linen.
That rhymed!
I haven't seen you
since I was a little fella and,
how things have changed.
I am still... a Master.
Let's boogie
Noooo!
No!
NOOOOOOOO!
That's it?
Well, that was anticlimactic.
Hey, I'm gonna skidaddle.
Catch ya on the flip side!
I have fulfilled my last
two-eighths of...
...the bargain, Lisp.
We have Jean and Raya.
Now give me my damn eye!
What eye?
- That one!
- This eye!
- Yeah.
- This eye right here?
This isn't your eye.
This is someone else's.
Aw, nasty.
You just be going around,
taking people's eyes?
Yeahhh, I'm a super villain.
It's what we do.
You're so evil
I might be evil, but I'm also fair.
When I wage my war...
...and send this world into
an icy apocalypse,
I'll allow you to stand by my side.
So you won't give me my eye back,
and then you threaten my world with war?
Soon, you're going to wish
you never betrayed me.
But I'm the world's
most evil supervillain.
I betray who I want,
when I want,
why I want,
and how I want.
Meet my clowns.
You'll see Fury... you'll all see!
Yes.
Superhero of the year,
stupid... get rid of this!
Highlight reel!
Damn it. Damn it.
Look at this! Superhero Men's Health!
God! All of this stuff!
You! You're the problem!
I'm going to rip this thing right off...
If you're through having
your tantrum Mr. Kent,
- maybe we could...
- Hey!
Zip it, Creepio!
Lucas, it's Dad.
Listen I know it sounds crazy, but...
I just... I realized right now
exactly how much...
...you and your mother
and your sister mean to me.
And I'm not sure
if you'll get this message,
or if I'll ever see you again, but...
I want you to know something.
I know that you're super nerdy and...
...and you don't have powers yet but...
You're my son.
And you're my only son.
And that makes you
incredibly special to me.
I love you, buddy.
Dad... Dad, wake up! Dad!
Raya! My baby! Are you okay?
Where's Mom?
She's at Lisp Corp.
I just escaped from there.
That's where Lucas is and your car...
What happened in here?
Daddy was just doing
some redecorating. That's all.
Grandma.
No, no, no, don't don't.
Mommy! Not again!
I failed you! I failed you again!
What happened, Dad?
I tried to save her, but I couldn't.
It's the reason I became Superbat.
The doctors...
The doctors, they couldn't help.
I couldn't help.
She just died.
Yeah, but... how did she die?
She stopped breathing.
She was so old.
God, she loved these pearls.
Dad, it's not your fault that she died.
It's not your fault she died
of natural causes.
- Right, yeah.
- Yeah.
Raya, you're right. Yeah!
Yeah!
- It's not my fault!
- not at all!
It's not my fault!
Exactly!
Okay! Okay! I'm over it!
Cool, okay, so brush yourself off...
...because I need the old SuperBat back!
We've got work to do!
- You're right!
- Yeah!
Let's go embrace the Farce!
That's right. It's me. Beaverine.
Here to help kick some butt!
It is nearly the highest of noon.
Soon!
The sun will be the closest
it's ever been to the earth!
And I will drain its power
for everything.
The world... will fall into
a frozen tundra,
and I will rule the ice...
...as king of winter.
Yes.
There will be more guards.
Where are all the clown troopers?
Wait... they're behind us.
We're surrounded.
We can take them.
Spread out.
- Raya, stay back!
- I can do this! I can fight!
Raya!
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't kill you!
It... was... part... of the plan!
The plan?!
Tell me the plan!
Hey, panther!
Keep your eye on the prize!
Who are you supposed to be?
My real persona is based off
a few pop culture characters.
But now...
I'm the Furious Panther!
Okay.
Superbat!
You idiots! Beat him!
You have super DNA!
No! No!
Noooo!
I signed us up for a father-son
summer camp.
Which RV should we get?
Pretty cool!
Hi! Hello! Mr. I don't know
whose chair I'm sitting in,
but I don't think you grasp...
...the disparity of
the situation right now.
SuperBat and his super sonic idiotic...
...double-Decker ding dongs...
...just took out the perimeter forces.
Bro.
Somebody had a lot of coffee today.
Where'd you get that jacket,
a panda convention?
I mean, am I right?
Look at that thing.
I know you're trying to
rid the world of heat,
but you need to "chill out."
Go plug in your super computer
or something.
I can't with you.
Get me Jean Wonder.
My mom is here?
Yeah. Her and your sister are
part of my master plan.
But I thought Raya escaped?
Right.
That was also a part of my master plan.
My car!
Raya! Come with me!
Get in the game, Dad!
Nobody touches my daughter!
It's working!
Yesss!
That does not look good.
What doth be?
Looks like some kind of
a sun-draining...
...winter-inducing doomsday device.
We don't have much time!
Well, we didn't get
all dressed up for nothing.
Raya, stay close.
I can handle it.
We need a plan of attack!
We need a plan of attack!
Plan of attack?
The plan of attack is... ATTACK!
They're inside.
Maybe we should get out of here.
In my moment of triumph?
You overestimate their chances!
Release my batch of
SuperDuper-ClownTroopers.
These ones have my DNA...
...and green hair like us.
Insurance policy, you know.
What the-aw hell.
These guys are tougher
than the other ones!
Let's get them!
Spread out everyone!
These are harder than the last guys.
You guys get to the elevators.
We'll hold off these clowns.
You doing a really great job.
Thanks, Dad! You too!
Taught you well.
Alright, let's kick some butt.
Bruce! Raya!
Lucas has turned naughty.
But Mother,
I haven't felt this good
in a looong time.
Right on time!
Please... have a seat!
Release us, Dark Jokester!
Release us, Dark Jokester!
Are you not having any fun
in my Naughty Time Container?
Well, not to worry,
cuz soon, you're gonna
laugh out all your powers.
That's right! You see,
this microphone captures your laughter.
Hello.
And it takes it all the way
along this wire to this...
...very special containment device...
...that I created all by myself.
Isn't it cool?
It's just a stupid popcorn maker.
Precisely! I... eat... your... powers!
Nom nom nom nom! I eat them up!
So good! Except for you Jean Wonder.
You're powerless!
This is so ridiculous!
I'm glad you think so.
Now, let's make it... hilarious!
More! Feel it!
Honey?
Jean?! This is incredible!
How can you do this?
I thought you didn't have
any super powers left.
I'm a woman.
We can read every man's mind.
It's not a super power.
It's true. We can.
Honey, listen to me.
I want to tell you,
I never stopped loving you.
I've always loved you.
You trust me, right?
I trust you.
Remember your training, SuperBat.
Your family, you will save.
Incredible Master Yoga?
Yes.
Why are there so many voices
in my head?!
Please, Dad, concentrate,
my jaw is starting to hurt.
I got your message, Dad.
I'm sorry I stole your car
and got us into this mess.
You've always been my favorite hero.
And it's not cuz you're my dad.
It's cuz you're my favorite hero.
Look at me, buddy.
None of this is your fault.
It's my fault.
I made so many terrible mistakes...
I've been such a bad father
and an even worse husband...
I'm so so sorry.
The old me is gone.
I will...
I will... embrace the Farce.
Embrace the Farce.
I will embrace the Farce.
- I love you all.
- Bruce?!
- Dad?!
- Dad?!
You like that one?
Dad?
What is going on?
No, no, what's happening?
No!
NO!
NO!
Dad!
Son, are you okay?
Come here. I love you guys.
Your evil plan will never
succeed Dark Jokester!
Haha! It already has!
I wasn't trying to turn your
powers to popcorn, you fools!
It was... theatrical deception!
Of course! The Star Death
Krypto Tesseract!
Dad, you must stop Lisp Luthor from...
...draining the sun and save the planet!
We can take care of this clown.
Just take mom somewhere safe...
...and then destroy
the thing on the roof.
Fly me, Superbat.
Fly me like you used to!
You want me to fly with you, baby?
Yes, I want to fly so bad!
I'll fly you in front of everyone.
Wow, I missed this so much!
Me too! This is great!
Gosh!
And I thought I was creepy.
Eww...
What the heck was that all about?
Our parents are so weird.
Who goes first?
You can go first.
I always go first!
But what if he goes for you, first?
Well, then I'll block and you hit him.
And vice versa. Cool?
Cool. So who goes first?
He does!
- Who's going first?
- You!
That's it? He's really gone?
No matter how strong a man is,
no matter what his super powers are,
a direct kick to the nuts will
end a fight instantly.
Good to know.
Hey, Cap, you gotta go for
their huevos rancheros.
I did it! I flew!
Wow, that was really great.
You wanna do it again?
- I wanna...
- Come here!
Thank you, Jean.
You truly are wonderful.
Go save the world, SuperBat.
I will always be there for you.
Bingo!
Take that, Luthor!
- Bingo!
- Darn you, Superbat!
Take that, Luthor!
Yeah.
Hello? Where am I?
Did I become the king of winter?
Is this my throne room?
Sir, you're just in shock,
but you're in good hands now.
You had a car thrown at you,
but I have good news...
Yeah?
Theatrical deception!
No, please! Don't hurt me!
I'm not gonna hurt ya.
I'm just gonna tickle ya...
- ...really, really, bad.
- No!
Stop!
Stop!