Awful Truth, The (1937) Movie Script

Come on, get that sun lamp ready.
About 15 minutes is the most l`d advise,
Mr. Warriner.
Fifteen minutes nothing! I need
a deep Florida tan if it takes all afternoon.
Give her the gun.
All aboard for Miami,
Palm Beach and Point South.
-Hi, Jerry.
-Hello, Frank.
-How goes it?
-Fine!
-Like to play a little squash?
-No, thanks.
You`re awfully white-skinned
for a guy who spent two weeks in Florida.
-That`s what I thought.
-What did you do there, carry a parasol?
-Or didn`t you go?
-Don`t go spreading that around, Frank.
Pulling a fast one on the little wife?
Frank, l`m surprised at you.
I`m supposed to have been in Florida.
Supposing one of Lucy`s friends
says to her:.
``Well, why isn`t he tanned?``
Lucy will be embarrassed.
I`ll be tanned,
and Lucy won`t be embarrassed.
What wives don`t know won`t hurt them.
What you don`t know won`t hurt you.
I don`t want to know.
How about coming by the house?
Some friends are coming by
for a late breakfast.
I got a better idea. Come to my place
for eggnogs and breakfast...
and maybe later we can duck the women
and play some golf.
-Swell, boy, you got me convinced.
-Okay.
-See you later, Jerry.
-So long, Frank.
Come on in!
Hey, Lucy!
That man is here.
Maybe she wasn`t expecting you.
No, she`s around somewhere.
Put your things down anywhere.
-Hello, Celeste.
-Hello, Mr. Warriner, you look well.
Thank you, Celeste, and vice versa.
Where`s Mrs. Warriner? Look what I got her
all the way from Florida.
-She`s out.
-She`s out?
Never mind. Go get some eggnogs,
and we`ll find something to drink to.
Come on, gang, enter.
Mr. Smith, look who`s here.
Come on, boy.
Where`s Mamma?
Look, l`ve got something for you.
Come on, get it.
What are you doing, reading my mail?
Several letters there for your wife.
Yesterday`s, too.
I hope Lucy comes back
looking as well as you do.
She`s probably up at her Aunt Patsy`s.
She always goes there when she`s lonely.
Thank you, Celeste, l`ll take it up from here.
-Jerry.
-What?
Supposing Aunt Patsy wasn`t home?
I get it. I`m up to my neck in funny people!
Seriously, I wish Lucy would go out and
get some fun now and again. Do her good.
That`s the trouble with marriages today.
People are always imagining things.
The road to Reno is paved with suspicions.
First thing you know,
they`re in a divorce court.
The broad-minded man from the Rio Grande!
If you think l`ll get a chance to prove my
broad-mindedness any minute, you`re crazy.
Lucy`s up at her Aunt Patsy`s cabin.
I`ll bet on it.
Incidentally, what a swell spot that is.
Good fishing....
Sometimes, on a clear day across that lake,
you can see for....
Mrs. Barnsley, Miss Heath,
Mr. Barnsley, Mr. Randall.
Aunt Patsy.
Any idea where Lucy is?
You know, she invited me to this--
-Darling!
-Hello, dear!
How grand and brown you are!
Hello, Patsy, dear.
-Did you miss me? Been thinking about me?
-Look what I brought you!
All the way from Florida? Bless your heart!
You know Armand Duvalle, dear.
Come on in, Armand.
Mr. Duvalle, this is my aunt, Miss Adams.
Mr. and Mrs. Barnsley,
Miss Heath and Mr. Randall.
We`ve had the most terrible time.
Armand`s car broke down last night
miles from nowhere...
and we had to stay at the nastiest inn ever.
No modern conveniences. It was dreadful!
We were coming home from the junior prom.
Armand`s pupil invited us.
Oh, it`s a long story, but I must....
Hello, there!
Your wife, she was the loveliest woman
in the party.
Armand, you always say the nicest things.
Isn`t that cute? Did you bring him that?
-Yes--
-Go catch it!
-Were you disappointed I wasn`t here?
-Not at all. After all, you didn`t expect me.
And you`ll forgive me
for my car`s imperfect performance?
Of course.
I`m sorry the inn was so inconvenient.
That`s the only thing that bothers me.
You know, your husband
is not like the average American man.
He`s free of all mean suspicion.
He has more the Continental mind. Yes?
That`s right, I have a Continental mind.
Will you have an eggnog?
Thank you.
I don`t know what kind of a mind Jerry`s got,
Continental or cockeyed...
but he`s a wonder.
Now, if I stayed out all night...
and waltzed in with handsome Mr. Duvalle,
and said the car broke down....
It did. Why should Jerry be angry?
I didn`t build the car.
-You`re perfectly right, dear.
-Of course I am.
Can`t have a happy married life
if you`re always suspicious.
Right again.
-A little nutmeg?
-Please.
-Why am I boring you with private matters?
-We`re not bored.
No one`s interested in my adventure
but Jerry, who knows it`s innocent...
just as well as he knows
that he just got back from Florida.
I see what you mean.
More drinks, everybody? There`s lots left.
-No, thank you, I think we better be going.
-You don`t all have to go, do you?
Go? No.
-Well, it`s silly to go so soon.
-We must go, really.
Patsy, dear, where are you going?
I haven`t even had a chance to talk to you.
I`ll see you later, my dear.
I always say four`s a crowd.
There`s something in what she says.
Thank you.
-Say, are you hungry?
-To tell you the truth, l`m starved.
Why don`t you go out and grab a bite?
-A strong fellow should take care of himself.
-Why, what have I done?
-lf you speak of last night, I assure you--
-You don`t believe--
We`ll discuss it in private.
That is if Mr. Duvalle can remember
where we keep our door.
In all fairness, you should permit me
to remain and explain ourselves.
American women
aren`t accustomed to gallantry.
I appreciate your offer,
but maybe you`d better go.
Pardon me, Mrs. Warriner,
you misunderstand.
I am a voice teacher, am I not?
For one year she has been my pupil.
And from time to time, I pat her on the back.
I mean, I congratulate her on her...
-development.
-ls that so?
-Do I express myself?
-You`ve been doing all right.
But now my position must be considered.
I have never yet been in a scandal.
-Never been caught?
-No.
I am a great teacher, not a great lover.
That`s right, Armand, no one could ever
accuse you of being a great lover.
That is, I mean to say,
who`s to say whether you are or not?
It`s all so silly!
But maybe you had better go.
-I really don`t know what to say.
-lf you go, you won`t have to say anything.
-Perhaps it is best this way, Mrs. Warriner.
-I think so.
-I will see you soon?
-Yes.
It has been all so perfect.
Thank you for everything.
Take another bow.
Not a bad performance
considering no rehearsals or anything.
Why, Mr. Warriner,
you`re out of your Continental mind.
That was funny, what he said
about your Continental mind.
-No doubt he has a better sense of humor.
-No, I beg to differ.
Right now you`re twice as funny as him.
-Quit stalling, Lucy.
-l`m not--
Perhaps our marriage means nothing to you.
Perhaps you have no sentiment left for me.
Look at this.
Look, a letter I wrote you.
Did you care when you read it? No!
You knew there`d be a letter
every morning...
but you were far too busy
with Armand Duvalle to give it a thought.
It`s enough to destroy one`s faith, isn`t it?
I haven`t any faith left in anyone.
I know just how you feel.
What do you mean?
You didn`t mention in any of your letters
the terrible rainy spell in Florida.
The papers were full of it.
-I can explain that, Lucy.
-You can?
Don`t try to change the subject.
You think a great offense is a great defense.
Don`t try to justify your behavior
by insinuating things about me.
I haven`t any behavior to justify.
I`ve just been unlucky.
You caught me in a truth, and it seems
there`s nothing less logical than the truth.
-A philosopher?
-You don`t believe me.
How can I believe you?
``The car broke down.``
People stopped believing that ages ago.
-His car`s very old.
-So is his story.
-Let me tell you something.
-Let me tell you something.
I told you the truth about all this, Jerry.
Don`t you see?
There can`t be any doubt in marriage.
The whole thing`s built on faith.
If you`ve lost that, you`ve lost everything.
When that`s gone
the marriage is washed up.
-Do you mean that?
-Yes.
-Then that settles it.
-I guess it does.
I wouldn`t go on living with you
if you were dipped in platinum.
So divorce me. It`ll be a pleasure.
You think l`d drag that music lover to court
to show people the man you preferred?
Then l`ll divorce you.
It`s customary for the wife to bring suit.
It has something to do
with the husband being a gentleman.
Just get on with the divorce proceedings.
I can`t wait.
-l`ll call our lawyer right now.
-All right, here.
You don`t mind? I don`t know anyone else.
You get around much more than I do.
Is that so?
Hello?
Hello, Lucy.
What`s that?
Divorce? You and Jerry?
Don`t do anything in haste
you might regret later.
-Marriage is a beautiful thing, and you--
-Can`t she call back after we`ve eaten?
Please be quiet, will you?
You seem agitated, Lucy.
Try and calm yourself.
I`d hate to see you take any hasty action
in a matter like this.
-Marriage is a beautiful thing, and you--
-Finish your meal.
-Why can`t they call you back later?
-Will you shut your mouth?
As I was saying, Lucy,
marriage is a beautiful thing.
When you`ve been married as long as l,
you`ll appreciate it, too.
Your food`s getting ice-cold.
You always complain about your food.
Just shut your big mouth.
I`ll eat when l`m good and ready.
If you don`t like it,
you know what you can do. So shut up!
Marriage is a beautiful thing.
You see? Because you were a naughty dog,
they made you leave the room. Come on.
In the case of Warriner v. Warriner,
the court grants...
an interlocutory decree of divorce
in favor of the plaintiff, Lucy Warriner.
The divorce, without further contesting,
will become final 90 days from this day.
Plaintiff and defendant then have the liberty
to make other marriages, if they so desire.
Your Honor, there`s a matter still unsettled.
-The matter about....
-Mr. Smith.
-Yes, Your Honor, Mr. Smith.
-Who is Mr. Smith?
-Mr. Smith is their dog.
-No, Mr. Smith is my dog.
-ls that so?
-Silence!
But, you see, Mr. Smith belongs to me,
and she has him.
Very well, go ahead.
The animal is in Mrs. Warriner`s possession.
You ordered him from the courtroom
at the beginning, for contempt.
-Mr. Warriner wishes to have him because....
-Because he`s mine!
-He is not.
-He is, too.
-He is not.
-Silence!
Is not.
Mrs. Warriner, step up and tell me
why you regard the dog...
as your personal property, so the court
may decide if he should remain with you.
Nothing would please me more.
Your Honor, I saw Mr. Smith first.
It was in that pet shop on Madison Avenue.
You know it?
-You don`t? It`s between 47th and....
-lt`s frightfully immaterial.
Well, you ought to know.
I decided to buy Mr. Smith...
but I turned away for a moment
to look at a Persian kitten. Do you like cats?
I don`t either. So I turned around again,
and this man had Mr. Smith in his arms.
I said, ``Pardon me, l`m buying this puppy.``
And then he just smiled at me.
Then somehow, suddenly,
the three of us were having lunch...
the man, and Mr. Smith, and l.
And then things happened swiftly...
so I said, ``We`d better get married,``
and we did.
That way we could give Mr. Smith
a better home and live happily ever after.
-Until now.
-I see.
In these custody cases, Mrs. Warriner...
we often allow the final decision
to rest with the party in question.
You mean Mr. Smith?
Send for the dog.
Custody of the dog
will depend on his own desire.
-Mr. Warriner, will you step up here, please?
-Yes, Your Honor.
Unfasten him.
You may each call the dog.
-Mr. Smith, come on, boy.
-Smitty, look up here.
Don`t pay attention. Come on, boy.
Look up here. You know me.
-Smitty, look up here.
-No, don`t!
I win.
Custody of the dog
is awarded to Mrs. Warriner.
Your Honor, that`s not quite fair.
I ought to see the dog twice a month or so.
-l`ll take it under advisement.
-Goodbye.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Goodbye, Your Honor.
-You won`t forget to do that, Judge?
-l`ll take it under advisement.
Yes, but when will you know?
Look at that rain!
-Why, is it doing anything besides falling?
-I don`t think so.
Nothing unusual ever happens around here.
Patsy, l`m sorry you`re so bored tonight.
Why tonight? I`ve been bored for a month.
If l`d known we`d be buried side by side
l`d never have taken this apartment.
I wouldn`t have asked you to come
and live with me if l`d known that...
a sort of readjustment
takes place after divorce.
Readjustment my foot!
That`s just another word for moping around.
Don`t be silly.
Anyhow, where can two women go alone?
You know dozens of men
who`d turn handsprings to take you out.
I`ve got you all dressed up, ready to go out,
and you weaken and refuse.
You`re just an old grouch.
I want to go where there`s life.
And I don`t mean plant life.
I want to go to the theater.
You know, go places later
and step around and do things.
-But you can`t go in all this rain.
-Why not, no taxis?
No escort.
Unless there`s a new ruling,
I don`t need an escort to get a drink.
I`m going down to the bar and see Joe.
Bartender or no bartender, he`s still a man.
-Maybe he knocks off early.
-Patsy, you wouldn`t!
I wouldn`t?
You`re talking to a desperate woman.
Hello, Smitty, come on up, boy.
-lsn`t he cute?
-Too bad he can`t wear a top hat.
Did you hear what she said?
-I wonder if you`d do me a favor?
-Well, of course, that all depends.
Imagine you living right across the hall
from us all of this time.
I think it`s just wonderful
that we`ve met this way.
Lucy, may I present Mr. Leeson?
This is my niece you wanted to meet.
Her name is Lucy Warriner.
How do you do?
-Won`t you sit down?
-Thanks.
Mr. Leeson`s just from Oklahoma, Lucy.
He`s a stranger in town.
He`d take it as real neighborly of us
if we show him some of the bright spots.
He would?
It`s raining awfully hard. I don`t think--
That`s just exactly what I said,
``l don`t think the rain will stop us.``
Besides, I think it`ll let up in a few minutes,
Miss Warriner.
Mr. Leeson`s a neighbor.
He lives across the hall with his mother.
-That`s what you said, right?
-Yes, with my mother.
We`re here on a visit. I`m in oil, you know.
Marinated, so to speak.
Say, that`s a good one!
I got to remember to tell that to my mother.
Mr. Leeson, won`t you tell us
something about Oklahoma?
Oklahoma`s pretty swell.
I got quite a ranch down there.
Like you to see it sometime, Miss Warriner.
I don`t get out there very....
I got cattle and horses
and chickens and alfalfa and--
-Hello, Jerry.
-Patsy, how are things?
-We weren`t expecting you.
-Why, what goes on?
Hiya, fellow! Mr. Smith, how have you been?
I`ll see you in a minute, boy. Yeah, sure.
-Hello, Jerry.
-Hello, Lucy.
What might you be doing here?
Have you forgotten
this is my day to visit Mr. Smith?
It says so right there.
I`m so sorry.
Mr. Leeson, this is my husband.
He`s only my husband for,
how much longer is it now, 60 days?
-Fifty-nine.
-That`s better, only 59 days.
And don`t worry about him,
he has a Continental mind.
-Excuse me, what did you say?
-l`m glad to know you.
How can you be glad to know me?
I know how l`d feel if I was with a girl
and her husband walked in.
I`ll bet you do.
I don`t think you ought to go around
telling people you`re not married.
He looks a nice fellow.
How do you think he feels?
-Why don`t you go play with the dog?
-You go on with whatever you were doing.
Don`t mind me.
Any new dogs in the neighborhood?
Been chasing any cats?
Sit down, Mr. Leeson.
-Tell me some more about Arizona.
-Oklahoma.
I mean Oklahoma. That`s me for you!
Is he getting enough to eat lately?
He doesn`t look well.
You don`t look so hot yourself.
I don`t think he`s getting enough exercise.
He`s got circles under his eyes.
-The court ruled--
-What about a tune, boy?
Yes. You see,
there`s nothing we can do about it.
Don`t worry about it, Mr. Leeson.
Go right ahead.
-My main business is oil.
-Oil?
Sing it!
I do pretty well.
I have a ranch. My hobby is horses.
Hobby horses!
Come on, let`s get out of here.
-Goodbye, Jerry.
-Goodbye, Warriner.
What`s the matter?
-Are you sure you don`t like that fellow?
-Like him!
-You saw how I treated him, didn`t you?
-That`s what I mean.
On my ranch I got a little red rooster
and a little brown hen...
and they fight all the time, too.
But once in a while, they make up again,
and they`re right friendly.
-`Morning, Ma.
-Well? It was daylight when you came in.
I had a wonderful time. I met a girl--
That`s what I thought.
You keep your mind off women.
I can`t, Ma.
You can`t?
That`s what your father always said.
Of course I like Dan Leeson. Why not?
He`s sweet and thoughtful.
You should be the last one to object,
you introduced him to me.
He was a man who could take us out.
I didn`t expect you to get silly about him.
There`s nothing wrong in liking a man
who`s sane and considerate.
I was married to one
who was insane and inconsiderate.
Your toast is burning.
-What`s her name?
-Lucy Warriner.
Probably an alias.
You`ll laugh for talking that way
when you meet Lucy.
She won`t want to meet me. She knows
any woman could see through her.
Don`t talk that way about Lucy.
I`m crazy about her.
I believe she kind of likes me, too.
I think l`m in love.
Do you know what rebound is?
Trying to get over one love
by bouncing into love with somebody else.
It`s fine, except the rebound is rarely
the real thing. In fact, it`s the bunk.
There`s the first bounce, the second, and....
Well, look at me.
You wind up like an old tennis ball.
I`m serious about Dan Leeson.
I like him very much.
I`m all through with Jerry,
he means nothing.
I don`t love him, and I probably never did.
I`m sure I never loved him. Now I hate him.
That surprises you, doesn`t it?
I hate Jerry Warriner
and I like Dan Leeson very much.
I hope he`s crazy about me,
because he`s the finest man l`ve met.
I know, my toast is burning.
You`re awful sweet and all that,
but your mind`s always on something else.
Or maybe someone else. Is it, sugar pie?
No, l`m in love with love.
``ln the spring,
a young man`s fancy lightly turns to``...
what he`s been thinking about all winter.
How long have you talked
like Amos and Andy?
For quite some time.
I got wise to the fact
that it helps me in my work.
So, as long as I work,
you`ll have to pardon my Southern accent.
Well, shut my mouth,
who`s that gorgeous-looking creature?
Have you heard that gag
that`s been flying around town?
``Who was that lady I saw you with?``
You mean, that`s no lady, that`s your wife?
I like this place best
of all the spots l`ve been to.
-You do?
-Maybe it`s because l`m so happy.
-Just think of it, Lucy. You`ll be my wife.
-Yes, I am thinking of it.
I`ve hoped for it
ever since that first night I met you.
I can hardly wait for your final decree
to come along.
It`ll come along, Dan.
Incidentally,
here`s my husband coming along.
-Hello, folks.
-Hello.
This is Dixie Belle Lee.
This is Mrs. Warriner, and Mr. Leeson,
the gentleman Mrs. Warriner will marry.
-lt`s mighty fine meeting you.
-Now come along.
Now, you`re sure we`re not intruding?
-What do you mean?
-Wouldn`t you like us to have a drink?
-Yes, of course.
-Sit down.
My, isn`t this cozy?
So, you two are going to be married.
I was glad to hear that. I said to myself,
``That Leeson`s just the man for Lucy.``
-Then I said to myself--
-He`s always talking to himself.
-lsn`t this a charming place?
-Do you really like it?
I`m so glad.
I almost feel like the place is mine.
-You come here often?
-I work here, didn`t you know that?
No.
You`re from the South, aren`t you?
Well, now isn`t he just the cleverest gent?
How`d y`all ever guess that?
I don`t know, it was just a shot in the dark.
But Dixie Belle Lee isn`t her real name.
-No?
-No, she changed it, you see...
because her family objected
to her going into show business.
My folks thought I was going to the dogs
when I decided to go to work.
I`m sure you`ll be a big success,
and then they`ll be proud of you.
Thank you. It`s real nice of you to say that.
I`d better go now and get ready.
-Can you stay and see my act?
-We`ll stay.
-Nothing could drag us away.
-See you later, then.
-She seems like a nice girl.
-lndeed.
Enough about Dixie Belle for the moment.
Let`s talk about yourselves.
So you`re going to live in Oklahoma, Lucy?
How I envy you.
Ever since I was a small boy
that name has been filled with magic for me.
Oklahoma.
We`re going to live right in Oklahoma City.
Not Oklahoma City itself?
Lucy, you lucky girl.
No more running around the nightspots.
No more prowling around
in New York shops.
I`ll think of you whenever a show opens
and say to myself:.
``She`s well out of it.``
New York`s all right for a visit,
but I wouldn`t want to live here.
I know l`ll enjoy Oklahoma City.
Of course. If it gets dull,
you can always go to Tulsa for the weekend.
I think a big change
like that does one good.
That`s right.
I know this isn`t quite the place,
but Lucy tells me you two own a coal mine.
What about it?
Yes. Mr. Leeson thought that maybe
he`d like to buy your interest.
That is, if the price is right.
I was telling Mr. Leeson, I mean Daniel...
about how badly we were doing,
and he thought maybe he could do better.
I suppose you told him
there wasn`t any coal in it, too.
Well, if you`re interested,
you might bring around the data tomorrow.
I`m very lucky.
You know what they call me back home?
I can guess.
I just met her.
I guess it was easier for her
to change her name...
than for a whole family to change theirs.
That`d go great out West.
Seemed to go pretty well
with the cowboy here.
You want to change the subject?
Why don`t you two get up and dance?
Or don`t you dance?
Lucy doesn`t care much about dancing.
Didn`t you know that?
Did Lucy tell you that? She`s holding out
on you. She`s a beautiful dancer.
Why, I used to call her ``Twinkle Toes.``
Hello, Twinkle Toes.
Have you been fooling me, you little rascal?
Honestly, I didn`t think
you cared much about it.
Care about it?
Why, I could dance till the cows come home.
I won several cups at it myself.
We never won any cups.
Maybe you had the wrong partner.
There`s a lot in what you say.
-Can I have this waltz, Lucy?
-Of course.
Here, give this to the orchestra leader
and tell him...
-to play the same number again.
-Yes, sir.
Come on, sing.
It`s ``all day.``
-l`m sorry.
-lt`s all right.
-Not bad.
-Thanks.
-Never had a lesson in my life.
-You don`t say.
-Have you?
-Well, yes.
Let`s sing another one.
That must be him now.
-Hello, Warriner.
-Hello, Leeson.
-Hello, Lucy.
-Hello, Jerry.
-Glad you dropped up.
-Thanks.
I really am very interested
in that mine of yours.
Yes, I brought along all the records
and history of....
I`ve looked all over for McCall`s report
on that mine.
-I can`t find it anywhere. You must have it.
-Maybe I have.
Next chance you get,
look through your stocking drawer.
She always hides important things
in the top drawer of her dresser.
She does?
Every legal paper we had smelled of sachet.
It did?
Even the marriage certificate.
Remember when the clerk asked to see it
and you couldn`t find it?
We had a bunch of pals at the hotel.
They kept ribbing us all night.
Remember when they sent the bellboy?
We didn`t want ice water.
No?
What`s the matter?
When you two are married
the three of us can talk more freely.
About this mine business...
this place was formerly owned
by the Fullerton Brothers. They....
You`ve heard of the Fullerton Brothers,
haven`t you?
Yes.
It seems they didn`t know much
about the mining situation in Pennsylvania.
-Their racket was mainly--
-Why, hello, Ma!
-Hello.
-Hello, Mrs. Leeson.
-Hello, Lucy.
-Ma, this is Mr. Jerry Warriner.
-Not--
-Yes, ma`am, that`s right.
-We`re discussing a business proposition.
-I see.
-lt`s funny seeing you.
-lt is?
Well, it`s funny seeing you.
What I mean is, I was at a tea this afternoon
where some people...
were speaking of you and of Lucy, too.
They knew you both before the divorce.
I`ll bet you run into dozens of people
who knew us before the divorce.
Yes, we used to get around quite a lot.
Didn`t we?
They spoke very well of you.
They said you were a real gentleman.
Oh, did they really?
And they were talking of Lucy, too.
You know, you do sing divinely, dear.
But l`d never realized till this afternoon
that you had a teacher...
and a very handsome one, I understand.
There was a woman there, if I hadn`t been
a lady I would have slapped her face.
-Why didn`t you?
-I wish I had, because she insinuated....
As a matter of fact,
she didn`t even insinuate.
Well, she was talking
about your divorcing Mr. Warriner.
She came right out and said
that it should have been....
No matter, no matter.
-No matter.
-No matter.
Let`s get down to business, Leeson.
If l`d had time to work this mine myself,
l`d have made a fortune.
But I was always too busy
making money for other people.
There`s a section up there
simply crying for someone to go in...
who has the time and money to give it.
I think if you could sink a shaft
in this north corner, right about here....
Wait, let me show you something.
I ought to tell you, Jerry,
nobody is listening to you.
The girl`s name needs clearing, partner.
I wouldn`t go so far as to say that.
But l`m sure Mr. Warriner
is pleased at the opportunity...
to deny that silly story
I heard this afternoon.
Why, certainly, Mrs. Leeson. What is it?
This woman said Mr. Warriner permitted you
to bring proceedings so that....
Well, so that your reputation
wouldn`t be ruined.
There, it`s out. I know it`s silly but--
Of course it`s silly, and so are you.
-What?
-See here, Warriner.
I mean it`s silly for your mother
to believe such nonsense.
You see, our divorce was one of those
tragedies that you read about in the papers.
A trusting woman and a worthless man.
I was never good enough for Lucy
and finally she found it out.
I was never good enough for Lucy
and finally she found it out.
Lucy is above suspicion,
and always has been.
She`s as pure as the driven snow,
as faithful as she is fair.
And I would that I had been worthy
to kiss the hem of her garment.
Never during our marital bliss
did she cause me a moment`s uneasiness.
Never did I have to ask, ``Lucy, where
have you been, what were you doing?``
I always knew.
I tell you, something wonderful
went out of my life when I lost her.
-I know just how you feel.
-How do you know?
How can you know how it feels to have
used up the best years of a woman`s life?
Of course, that`s the way it goes.
Excuse me, you`re sitting on my prospectus.
Dan, take those and look them over.
And let me know. And, Dan...
take good care of her.
I`ll be going now.
Yes, Dan, take good care of her.
Maybe you`ll succeed where I failed.
I`m sure that the three of you will be
very happy out where the West begins.
If you ever think of me, send me a postcard.
Just say, ``Having a wonderful time.``
l`ll understand.
Goodbye, now.
Ma, are you convinced about everything?
What about the music teacher?
You two try and settle things for yourselves.
Let me know how it comes out.
Put a light in the window if it`s yes,
two if it`s no.
And if you can`t make up your minds,
just pull down the shade.
Hello.
What are you doing in my apartment,
if l`m not too inquisitive?
I thought after my swell reference
about you, I deserved a drink.
-Wish l`d mixed it for you.
-I see what you mean.
Certainly do appreciate
all the charming things you said about me.
When I get the chance,
I hope I can do as much for you.
It was nothing at all.
I try to go through life--
I know,
spreading a little sunshine as you go.
No, frankly, I was worried about you.
You`ve never asked for money.
Do you need any?
No, I think I can struggle along
without any help from you.
I thought maybe you made
a bad investment.
-No. I only made one bad investment.
-Don`t bite me.
I thought that maybe Buffalo Bill`s millions
might have something to do--
Nothing to do with anything.
Millions or no millions,
he`s a very charming person.
I`ve seen him.
I can`t possibly interpret this as jealousy.
No.
I`ve come out from behind those clouds.
I`ve taken a definite turn for the better.
Nothing`s going to hurt me anymore.
That`s too bad, Jerry.
-Did it hurt you much?
-No.
-Just the one hand?
-Just the one hand.
I`ll be going.
I always like to leave people laughing.
Is there anything I can get you for it?
No, l`m a stout fellow, l`ll carry on.
-Where`s Mr. Smith?
-Out with Aunt Patsy.
Tell me something before I go, will you?
-What do you see in this fellow?
-None of your business.
Not that I care, but what kind of a line
could he have that would impress you?
You might be surprised. You could take
a few lessons and profit nicely.
You`d be surprised what l`d give
to get an earful of that.
-You would.
-I couldn`t wait to see you.
I had to tell you
how awful I feel about what happened.
You`ll have to forgive Ma.
She`s kind of old-fashioned.
-l`ll forgive her.
-You won`t hold it against her?
No. Now you go and dress for dinner.
We`ll be very late.
I`m a lot quicker than you are.
Just to prove that you`re not mad,
will you give me a little kiss?
-Right here in the hall? Don`t be silly.
-There`s nobody around.
-You never can tell if someone`s around.
-l`ll come in.
Don`t come in. We`ll be awfully late.
-Don`t be bashful.
-l`m not bashful.
I`ve never kissed you before.
And I don`t think this is exactly the place.
If you knew how crazy I am about you,
you wouldn`t hesitate. I can`t sleep nights.
-Try drinking some hot milk.
-I must be in love...
-because I started writing poetry to you.
-Poetry.
I was going to surprise you with it at dinner,
but it`s short. It goes like this:.
``To you, my little prairie flower
l`m thinking of you every hour
``Though now you`re just a friend to me
I wonder what the end will be``
Excuse me, Dan,
I do laugh at the oddest times.
You see what I mean?
``Oh, you would make my life divine
``if you would change your name to mine``
That`s really....
That`s beautiful, Dan.
It`s really beautiful. There`s my phone.
You`ve got to go now, really.
-Hello.
-Comment a va, madame?
-You haven`t forgotten about tomorrow?
-Look, I have company.
All right, wait a minute, hold the phone.
There, now go on, Dan, l`ll see you later.
Lucy, you`ve made me
the happiest man in the world.
Dreamed of this moment for days,
now it`s all come true.
Dan, really!
I`ll go home now and dress for dinner.
I`m so happy I could eat three steaks.
Hello?
Telephone.
Hello?
Can I expect you tomorrow?
At 3:.00 tomorrow afternoon?
I think that would be convenient.
Very well then, 3:.00 tomorrow afternoon.
Goodbye.
-Who was that?
-Why should it interest you?
Wait a minute, after all,
the final decree isn`t in yet.
-lf you must know, it was my masseuse.
-My who?
I`ve heard everything. I`m going out
to get some popcorn and pink lemonade.
I`ve just seen a three-ring circus.
Armand Duvalle in?
-Please, your name?
-Jerry Warriner. Is my wife here?
I do not know.
What do you mean you don`t know?
-I only know I don`t know.
-You wouldn`t mind if I look around.
Me, jujitsu.
-Me, jujitsu.
-ls that so?
Me, jujitsu, too.
You must not go in.
You must not disturb him.
I can`t go in, he must not be disturbed.
You should have seen your master
this afternoon.
Come on, sit up, boy.
No, better still, I tell you...
go hide your eyes
and l`ll give it to you that way.
Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five.
No peeking.
Five, ten, fifteen, twenty,
twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five. You ready?
All right, then, come on.
You`re too smart.
Honestly, Patsy,
you should have seen Jerry this afternoon.
And when that chair
started to slip from under him.
-I will say that for Jerry, he`s never dull.
-He was so silly, though.
I know he thought he`d find me
in Armand`s arms.
He must have been terribly disappointed.
He must have felt awful
about not finding you two in a clinch.
Jerry`s always had the most fantastic way
of getting into scrapes.
We`ve had some grand laughs together.
But a girl really wants
dependability and security.
Yes, I suppose she does.
Then she ought to buy an annuity.
Be more fun than Leeson.
Don`t explain. I`m not marrying him.
That`s what I wanted to tell you.
I`m not either.
I can`t marry him because l`m still in love
with that crazy lunatic.
And there`s nothing I can do about it.
Patsy, here and there, now and then...
-l`ve done a few things for you, haven`t l?
-Yes.
Here`s a note that l`ve written to Dan
explaining exactly why I can`t marry him.
I could never phrase anything in person
as beautifully as I have in this note.
But now l`ve lost my nerve
about giving it to him.
-Could you sort of see that he gets it?
-I should say so.
Well, I tried to forget Jerry.
I know.
That`s why you jumped at Leeson
as if he were the last man on earth.
I`ll answer that.
Every time I open the door
somebody walks in.
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
-Hello, Armand.
-You sent for me, madam.
Yes, l`ve been so embarrassed
about what happened...
in front of your guests
I couldn`t get out of there soon enough.
Your husband is a very funny man, isn`t he?
I`m convinced he must care about me
or he wouldn`t do those funny things.
Yes, but he doesn`t care much about me.
No, Armand, that`s just what l`m getting at.
-l`m wondering, could you do me a favor?
-But of course.
I`ve been thinking...
I wonder if you could convince him...
that everything was just as I said it was
that night at the inn.
I`d be glad to.
But does he carry a gun?
You`re not afraid of him?
-Of course not, but--
-Will you do it for me? As soon as possible?
Yes.
And, by all means, he mustn`t know
that I had anything to do with it.
-No.
-As soon as possible.
Mr. Smith! How are you?
-But this is much too soon.
-lsn`t it?
-Much too soon.
-What can I do?
-You can`t keep standing here.
-I know, but where can I go?
-Look, out here.
-No.
Look, in the bedroom. Hurry up.
-Hiya, fellow.
-Hello, Jerry.
-Hello, Patsy. How have you been?
-Fine.
You knew it was me, didn`t you?
Sure you did.
You remembered me, didn`t you?
Sure, you bet.
Get away.
-Hello, Jerry.
-Hello, Lucy.
-I suppose you know why I dropped in.
-No, I don`t exactly.
As a matter of fact, I came to apologize for
my behavior today in Duvalle`s apartment...
-studio, or whatever he calls his joint.
-Oh, that?
I certainly acted like a prize lunatic,
and l`m sorry.
-lt was nothing at all.
-Nothing?
Nothing except the most ridiculous
and sickening exhibition...
mortal man ever made of himself.
I don`t know why I act like that.
Unless it`s because of the effect
that Duvalle has on me.
I never knew anyone
that can aggravate me the way he does.
-I can`t think about him without seeing red.
-You shouldn`t get so excited.
A mere mention of his name
and I feel positively murderous.
You do?
-What`s the matter with you?
-Nothing.
I was just thinking about your problem.
You certainly have a problem.
I know I have a problem,
and I know how I feel, too.
I guess there`s nothing I can do about it.
Look at Mr. Smith.
-I guess he wants to play.
-Yes.
Here, you go and hide it for him.
No fair peeking, Smitty.
All right, let`s go. Come on.
Oh, no, you`re cold.
You`re colder than ice. Cold, cold.
Oh, boy, what`s wrong with you?
Nice going, fellow. Let it go. Good boy.
Well, Lucy...
the main idea is, do you accept my apology?
Besides making a blue-ribbon sap of myself
today, I must have embarrassed you terribly.
You took it fine, though.
-You must admit you were--
-Yes.
-What was that?
-Nothing, just an old mirror.
-The boy`s getting worse every day.
-Mr. Smith, that`s a fine thing.
I`m surprised at you.
Trying to get rid of me?
No, he wasn`t trying to get rid of you,
you know it.
Well, I really hadn`t planned
to leave so soon.
I thought, if you have nothing to do,
you might like to go for a drive with me.
Well, the air will do you good,
and we can talk things over?
-l`d love that. Yes, it would do me good.
-Swell.
-Where`s your car?
-Downstairs, in the garage.
While l`m changing,
you get the car and l`ll meet you out front.
-Okay, dear.
-I won`t be a minute.
That`s funny, I only bought the hat
an hour ago and look at it.
Did you have a haircut, maybe?
-No.
-No?
Maybe you have it on backwards.
Put it on the other way around.
Well, I hadn`t thought of that. Wait a minute.
Yes, there, now that`s more becoming.
It is a bit roomy. Maybe they`re wearing
them that way this year.
Well, l`m not.
Looks mighty funny to me.
Look at your ears. That`s why.
Your ears are all down.
What`s wrong with it?
-Stick your ears up underneath.
-Don`t be silly.
How can you stick your ears up?
That`s no good.
Well, I always put my ears in.
-Who`s there?
-Me, and my ma.
Lucy, l`ve caused you enough trouble
for one day.
He better not find me here.
I`ll duck in the other room.
No, no, but....
Could you....
-Hello, there.
-Hello, Aunt Patsy.
Good evening, Mrs. Leeson.
Good evening, Mrs. Leeson.
Lucy, you didn`t come over this morning
the way you usually do.
-I was so busy this morning.
-That`s what I kept telling you, Ma.
-Do you mind if I sit down?
-No, not at all.
-l`ve got an awful headache.
-Well, l`m getting one.
I thought maybe you were angry
at my repeating what that awful....
Nonsense, Mrs. Leeson.
-What on earth was that?
-Somebody`s cleaning up in there.
I was afraid....
-Must they do that?
-Yes--
I was afraid, but I knew that in your heart
you knew...
that I never suspected you.
Of course not, Mrs. Leeson.
The first time Dan talked about you, I said,
``Why, she sounds like a sweet little thing.``
Why, to know Lucy is to love her.
Lucy, I got a surprise for you.
Ma and I talked it all over.
I hope you are going to like Oklahoma,
because l`m going to ask you....
Excuse me.
They forgot to touch second.
Come on, Dan.
Well, I guess a man`s best friend
is his mother.
I certainly learned about women from you.
-Here`s your diploma.
-Come on.
What`s the matter with you, Smitty?
I see what you mean. Patsy, look at this.
Oh, yes, that`s Barbara Vance.
-You know who she is, don`t you?
-Yes, I know who she is.
The madcap heiress. Isn`t that
what the papers usually call her?
Millions of dollars and no sense.
I wonder what she`s doing with Jerry.
Entertaining him,
running around town with him...
and I imagine falling in love with him.
That`s all.
-You can`t tell all that from this picture.
-No.
But I can tell it from what l`ve heard.
If rumor is true, Barbara is quite a girl.
And Jerry`s having a lot of fun.
Come in.
Hello, Jerry.
Hello, Lucy, what`s the nature of this visit?
Well, I just thought l`d....
-Do you know what today is?
-Certainly.
Our divorce becomes final today.
Tomorrow, we`ll both be back in circulation.
I just thought l`d drop up
and wish you a lot of luck.
That`s very nice of you.
Would you like to join me for some wine?
Of course I would.
That was a cute picture of you and Barbara
in the morning paper.
I love the caption: ``Off with the old love.``
I thought ``Out of the frying pan``
might have been better.
Is that so?
Well, I think that Barbara and l
will be very happy together.
I`m sure you`ll be very happy.
Only I don`t think
you`ll be as happy as Daniel and l.
What?
-ls that still on?
-What do you mean, ``ls that still on?``
After that two-men-in-a-bedroom farce...
I sort of imagined that when we left, he left.
Oh, no. I just explained things to him
very simply.
Oh, did you?
Did you say our cars broke down...
and we had to stay at your place
because of the taxi strike?
No, I didn`t tell him that. I told him the truth.
And, strangely enough, he believed me.
Yes, it was very refreshing.
Well, what shall we drink to?
Let`s drink to our future.
Here`s hoping you and Barbara
will be very happy...
which I doubt very much.
Let`s drink to your happiness
with Buffalo Bill...
-Good.
-...which doesn`t even make sense.
-l`ll tell you. We`ll drink to the two of us.
-Good.
As we go down life`s highway...
you going your way...
and I going my way.
-Okay?
-All right.
It`s flat.
I`ll open another bottle.
You`ll have to hurry it up though
because l`m meeting Daniel.
I think champagne is so fitting
to round out our romance.
I remember the first drink
we ever had together.
You, in your very best manner, said:
``lt must be champagne.``
And then you offered a toast,
you remember?
-No, I don`t.
-Well, being a woman, I do.
You said....
This`ll land you a laugh.
You said:
``Lend an ear, I implore you
``This comes from my heart
l`ll always adore you
``Till death do us part``
Remember?
It was pretty swell.
I mean, while it lasted.
All beautiful things must end...
so I guess we may as well call it a day.
If you don`t mind, l`ll call a car.
Would you call a car for me?
Right away, please.
Hello?
Who`s this, may I ask?
It`s what`s-her-name. I only said hello.
Maybe you can pick it up from there.
-Did you have to answer my phone?
-I thought it was about the car. I`m sorry.
What am I going to tell her?
You can think of something.
You always could.
-I haven`t time to think of anything.
-Tell her you`ll call her back.
-How can I tell her l`ll call her back?
-Then tell her to call you back.
Hello? Hello, darling.
Well, it took you long enough.
Have you decided who the woman is?
Isn`t that funny,
I knew you were going to ask me that.
-So did l.
-Quiet.
It`s very simple, dear. It`s my sister.
Your sister?
How are you going to get out of that?
She just got back from Paris,
dropped in to see me.
Jerry, you`re slipping.
I`d love to meet your sister.
Why don`t you bring her along tonight?
She can`t come this evening.
She has a previous engagement.
She wants me to come over?
Naturally she`s anxious
to meet you, too, but....
Yes, tell her l`d love to meet her.
Tell her to wear boxing gloves.
She said she`ll break her engagement
and come over later.
-But I strongly doubt that....
-Yes, I doubt it.
Dear, l`ll do my best to fix it up
so the two of you meet very soon.
-Yes. Goodbye.
-That`d be lovely.
I`m in a fine fix.
She wants to meet my sister.
-You`re a big help.
-You know me. Anything I can do....
-What? To break it up?
-I see what you mean.
I`m in a fine mess.
Yes, hello? I did it again.
What does she do? Call every five minutes?
-You shouldn`t take that from anybody.
-Hello, Barbara.
Put your foot down....
-I told you she couldn`t make it this evening.
-She can`t get away with it.
There`s no reason to call me
every five minutes about it, is there?
No. Well, all right.
-Good evening, Mr. Warriner.
-Good evening.
-Hello, Barbara.
-Hello.
Good evening, Mrs. Vance.
-Hello, Mr. Vance.
-Jerry.
Where`s your sister?
She was terribly sorry
she couldn`t be here tonight.
She didn`t weather the boat trip well.
When I left, she was calling the doctor.
You can imagine my surprise
when a woman answered the phone.
You can`t blame me for being suspicious.
Barbara, you can`t have a happy married life
if you`re always suspicious.
There can`t be doubts in marriage.
Marriage is based on faith.
If you lose that, you`ve lost everything.
Very well said, Jerry.
Yes, wasn`t it?
I think I read it in a book or something.
I was just thinking,
will your sister be here for the wedding?
-I doubt that very much, Mrs. Vance.
-Maybe I should ask her to be a bridesmaid.
I think she`s sailing back to Paris
almost immediately.
She said she`ll try
to see you before she goes.
You`d like my sister. She`s your type.
-Where did she go to school?
-Excuse me?
-I said, where did she go to school?
-ln Switzerland.
-You say your father was a Princeton man?
-That`s right, sir. Class of `92.
He tells some funny stories
about the place in those days.
He tells one in particular
about a football game.
It seems Yale was playing
Princeton one day...
and with the ball
on Princeton`s two yard line, Yale fumbled.
A minute to go, Dad picked up the ball,
and ran....
Miss Lola Warriner.
Hello, brother dear. I made it.
What did you say, dear?
-I just asked how you were feeling.
-l`m feeling fine. And you?
Mrs. Vance, may I present my sister, Lola.
How do you do?
-lt`s lovely to know you.
-Thank you.
-Won`t you come in?
-Thank you.
-Barbara, this is Lola.
-How do you do?
It`s nice to be able to meet you.
I`ve seen your pictures,
and wondered how you look.
-I wondered about you, too.
-Well, thank you.
-Lola?
-Yes, dear?
This is Barbara`s father, Mr. Vance.
-Mr. Vance, my sister.
-How do you do?
What`s the matter?
Nothing, only I never would have known you
from his description.
-Won`t you sit down?
-Thank you.
Did I interrupt something?
Weren`t you talking when I came in for....
Would you excuse me, Mrs. Vance?
My handkerchief.
Thank you.
It`s me. Isn`t that silly?
It`s you this time, Mrs. Vance.
Look, l`ll just put it over here,
and get it out of the way.
Dear!
I guess that could go on and on and on.
I hope not.
Go on with your story, honey.
Yes, I was telling a story about my,
about our father.
Oh, you were?
I don`t want to be rude,
but may I have a drink?
I had three or four before I came, but
they`re wearing off, you know how that is.
Don`t look at me like that.
You like a little drink yourself.
We call him Jerry the Nipper.
Likes to sneak it when nobody`s looking.
So cute about it, too.
I`ve seen him go an evening,
apparently having nothing to drink...
and all of a sudden, fall flat on his puss.
A glass of sherry, perhaps?
Will you get Miss Warriner
a glass of sherry?
A glass of sherry? Excuse me.
I don`t like sherry.
-Would you make that ginger ale please?
-Ginger ale?
I`m sorry to interrupt you again, Jerry.
Now, what were you saying?
I was just telling one of Father`s stories.
You`ve heard it.
With a minute to go, Dad had the ball--
-A ball? What ball?
-The football.
What in the world was Dad ever doing
with a football?
I was just telling a story about when Father
was at Princeton. You remember--
Oh, yes, of course I remember.
Pop loved Princeton.
He was there nearly 20 years.
If ever a man loved a place, he did.
He just adored it.
And he certainly kept it looking beautiful.
You`ve seen the grounds, of course.
Of course?
-Thank you.
-l`m afraid l`m--
So sorry!
-Here`s your handkerchief.
-Thank you.
I`m afraid that my sister
has a somewhat distorted sense of humor.
So have l.
What she meant was,
Father presented the college...
with some of its finest landscapings.
Excuse me. Was I thirsty!
It must have been that ham I had for dinner.
-I think my brother`s pretty swell, don`t you?
-Oh, yes.
He`s always been pretty swell to me.
I was working my head off
at the Virginia Club.
But the minute he started doing better,
you know what I mean...
why, he made me give up my job
and take a trip to London and Paris...
and.... I think that was pretty swell,
don`t you?
What did you do at the Virginia Club?
-You see--
-l`ll tell her!
It was a little act, kind of....
Well, it`s a little hard to explain.
-Have you got any records?
-Records?
-Yes. We have some records.
-Well, maybe if we....
Say, wait a minute!
Don`t anybody leave this room.
I`ve lost my purse.
-Why, here it is.
-Well, am I relieved.
Where are the records?
Come this way and l`ll show you.
Look, will you keep an eye on that for me?
Here`s my song.
Would you like to have me do it for you?
-Well, no, I don`t--
-Okay.
You`ll have to put that on.
It`s a little fancy for me.
The one we`ve got at home, you just wind.
I wouldn`t, if I were you.
I won`t do it the way I did at the club...
if that`s what you`re afraid of.
You think l`m a fool?
The number has some wind effects...
but you`ll just have to use
your own imagination about them.
Get it?
I never could do that.
Are we going so soon?
I was just beginning to enjoy myself.
Good night. Good night, all.
-Where are you going?
-l`m going to Patsy`s cabin.
-You`re not in any condition to drive.
-I can make it in two minutes on two wheels.
That`s what you think.
-Get over.
-This is my car. I want to drive my car.
-Over.
-No.
-I wish you`d stayed in there.
-That`s right.
Would you mind shutting that off,
or at least turning it down?
Give it to me.
That`s right, put it where we can find it.
-Here, you can`t do that.
-What?
-Shut that thing off.
-What?
It`s against the law.
Besides, you`ll wake everyone up.
What?
He says we`ll wake up....
Why don`t you help me?
-lt`s beautiful up here, don`t you think so?
-Sure, it`s swell.
If it wasn`t for you, l`d have missed all this.
That`s right.
I suppose by the time I get to town...
it will hardly be worthwhile going to bed.
You mind if I use your car to go home?
No, I don`t mind,
only I think it`s awfully silly.
Patsy will be disappointed.
Well, thanks. I`ll go home.
It`s all right with me.
My goodness, I just thought....
Yes, you just thought
that if l`d stay up there...
you`d show me exactly how innocent
a night in the country can be, didn`t you?
Are you still harping
on that same old string?
It doesn`t matter to me
whether you go or stay.
I was just trying
to make it easier for you, that`s all.
Did you have to throw that gadget away?
You want me to go back and look for it?
What else can happen to us?
A lot.
-What`s that?
-Two motorcycles.
-Anybody riding them?
-There are two men.
-Are they in uniform?
-Yes.
Fine.
-Turn down that radio.
-I can`t.
What do you mean you can`t?
You lost the control?
You can`t let it run that way!
-Let me take a look at it.
-Wait a minute, l`ll get out of your way.
See what you can do.
-Help me to sort the wiring.
-Let`s take a look at it.
Don`t!
It`s always good.
Do you know you can get a ticket for that?
-ls this your car?
-Nope!
-Whose car is it?
-l`ll give you one more guess.
So it`s yours. Where`s your ownership card?
-ln my bureau`s upper right-hand drawer.
-Are you sure this is your car?
Of course l`m sure!
If it`s your car, what`s the license number?
What is it?
I don`t know. They change it every year.
Don`t look now,
but what`s the number on your motorcycle?
-Have you folks been drinking?
-No, I haven`t, but....
-Let me see you walk this line.
-Come on.
Go on, honey, truck it!
-Now what have you done?
-The brakes are bad.
It`s a bad break for us, too.
Now we haven`t any transportation.
Could you two gentlemen take us
to my aunt`s cabin? It`s only 15 miles.
-That is, if you`ve nothing else to do.
-No, I don`t.
-Have you?
-Oh, no.
Oh, that`s fine.
Where will you sit?
I`ll have to figure that one out, I guess.
Come on, try it. It`s fun!
Now, listen, you two.
Don`t say a word to this guy.
Who are these people?
Why, that`s Mrs. Warriner
and that`s Mr. Warriner.
How do you do?
Hello.
I guess that settles it.
Will you get my car out in the morning?
In the meantime, think of something
you`d like for Christmas. Goodbye.
-I hope you have a nice trip back.
-Thank you.
Hi, Dad.
Hello, Dad.
Everything all right with you?
-Oh, l`m feeling fine.
-That`s good.
But I wasn`t expecting nobody tonight.
Isn`t Aunt Patsy here?
-Well, no.
-She isn`t here?
-But I thought for sure she was here.
-I didn`t.
Isn`t that funny?
Let me get you some coffee.
Oh, no, I don`t think so, Dad.
It might keep me awake.
I`m going right to bed. I`m awfully tired.
See? She`s all in.
-Oh, Dad, is this room in order?
-Yes.
That`s fine. Mr. Warriner will sleep in there.
Give him a couple of nice warm blankets.
He has a bad cold.
Is that right?
I`ve had a bad cold now
for some considerable time.
-That`s too bad.
-About three months.
How are you doing in there?
How are you doing in there?
I`m having a little wardrobe trouble.
You should see me.
I`m glad you told him I have a cold.
He fixed me up good.
My nightie is coming to me
through the courtesy of Aunt Patsy.
Go, get off!
Air-conditioned.
-What`s wrong with this?
-I don`t know.
The lock isn`t very practical, is it?
No, it`s not so very practical....
I guess it will serve its purpose.
Well, good night.
Good night.
I`m afraid we`re going to have trouble
with this.
I guess l`ll be all right.
-Good night.
-Good night.
Good night.
I told you we`d have trouble with this.
Yes.
In a half an hour,
we`ll no longer be Mr. and Mrs.
Funny, isn`t it?
Yes, it`s funny that everything
is the way it is, on account of how you feel.
I mean, if you didn`t feel how you do,
things wouldn`t be as they are, would they?
I mean, things could be the same
if things were different.
-But things are the way you made them.
-Oh, no.
Things are the way you think I made them.
I didn`t make them that way at all.
Things are just the same
as they always were...
only you`re the same as you were, too...
so I guess things
will never be the same again.
Good night.
-Got caught in the door.
-Good night.
Good night.
Why, you....
I was trying to stop it.
Well, there it goes again.
You`re all confused, aren`t you?
-Aren`t you?
-No.
You should be. You`re wrong
about things being different...
because they`re not the same.
Things are different,
except in a different way.
You`re still the same, only l`ve been a fool.
But l`m not now.
As long as l`m different, don`t you think...
maybe things could be the same again...
only a little different?
You mean that, Jerry?
Are you sure?
No more doubts? No more being....
-Except....
-Except what?
-There`s only one thing that bothers me.
-What?
This darn lock.
Is that all?
You think maybe if you....
Good night.