Baby Boom (1987) Movie Script
(narrator) 53% of the American
workforce is female.
Three generations of women that
turned 1,000 years of tradition on its ear.
As little girls they were told to grow up
and marry doctors and lawyers.
Instead they grew up
and became doctors and lawyers.
They moved out of the "pink ghetto"
and into the executive suite.
Sociologists say the new working woman
is a phenomenon of our time.
Take JC Wiatt, for example.
Graduated first in her class at Yale,
got her MBA at Harvard.
Has a corner office
at the corner of 58th and Park.
She works five to nine, makes six figures
a year, and they call her the Tiger Lady.
Married to her job, she lives with
an investment banker married to his.
They collect African art,
co-own their co-op...
... and have separate
but equal IRA accounts.
One would take it for granted
that a woman like this has it all.
One must never take
anything for granted.
No, no. Atlantic Overseas
isn't just having a slow quarter.
- They may not be flying to Newark soon.
- Don't you think...
Ken, a company can't lose $25 million
a quarter and expect to stay in business.
They gotta streamline the organisation,
reduce headquarters staff...
...and then we'll be able
to focus on the real soft spots.
- What?
- You're good.
You're just realising? Robin,
I need the flash report for my meeting.
- Got it.
- Good.
And the latest info on the IBC merger.
What's going on?
- Steven called. Is nine OK for dinner?
- Mm-hm.
Melniker called, said it was urgent. And I
need you to sign these. Legal needs them.
OK. Sheldrake moved up the deadline,
so don't make any weekend plans.
- This weekend?
- Is there a problem?
No, it's just that I have tickets
to the ballet that I've waited six months...
- No problem.
- Tell Steven nine is fine. Try Jams.
If they have no good tables, try elsewhere.
Ken, I need the P&Ls on Atlantic
Overseas. I also need the latest ZBBs.
Robin, I want you
to get me the CEO of IBC ASAP.
Miss Wiatt, Mr Curtis wants
to know if you're free for dinner.
Absolutely. Cancel Steven.
And good morning to you too, Miss Wiatt.
OK, the Montana lamb with
the rocket leaf and goat cheese salad.
And lime-grilled free-range chicken with
the pumpkin pasta and dandelion greens.
- Looks fabulous.
- Enjoy.
- I'm Phillip, if you need me.
- Thank you, Phillip.
Tell me, what do you know
about Hughes Larrabee?
He's the CEO of The Food Chain,
used to be the CEO of Avon.
He's a killer. Real smart, no bullshit.
- I've never met him. Why?
- He called. They wanna talk.
- I thought they were with McKinsey.
- They're shopping around.
I set up a lunch for you at the Pierre.
Oh, I would love to steal an account
from McKinsey. I would just love it.
- JC.
- Mm-hm.
- I think you're enormously talented.
- Fritz, are you leaving the company?
- No!
- Am I leaving the company?
- Christ, let me get it out!
- Sorry.
No.
I want you to become a partner.
Oh.
Oh, well...
...I accept. This is great, Fritz.
This is very exciting. Wow.
Of course I have to discuss it with Everett.
I hope he remembers me.
I only met him a few times.
You reel in The Food Chain,
he'll remember you. I promise.
Well...
Let me ask you something.
How many hours a week do you work?
I don't know. 70, 80.
Well, realise as a partner
the hours are only gonna get worse.
I never complain about these things.
You know me. I like work.
- Yeah, I know, OK.
- So you know that I...
- Just let me get this off my chest, OK?
- Sure.
- (knocking)
- Now...
What's that knocking?
Well, never mind. Look, you know that
normally I don't think of you as a woman.
But in this case, I do have to
look at you as a woman/partner.
I mean, what if you and Steven decide
to get married somewhere down the line?
- I mean, what if he expects a wife?
- Fritz, first of all... May I?
- Mm.
- Steven and I are not getting married.
We both eat, sleep and dream our work.
That's why we're together.
Fritz, I understand
what it takes to make it.
But do you understand the sacrifices
you're gonna have to make?
I mean, a man can be a success and still
have a personal life, a full personal life.
My wife is there whenever I need her.
I mean, she raises the kids,
she decorates, she...
Well, I don't know what the hell she does,
but she takes care of things.
I guess...
What I'm saying is, I'm lucky.
I can have it all.
Is that what you're worried about?
Forget it.
I don't want it all.
I don't.
- How about an Akita as a present?
- A dog?
- I thought you loved them.
- I love looking at 'em, but owning one?
You've got to feed it and walk it and we'd
have hair everywhere. What if it died?
- Jeez, it was just a thought.
- Well, it's a lovely thought. It's just...
Oh, you know me.
I'm not really great with living things.
I think you are.
- D'you wanna make love?
- Please. Really.
All right, it's coming off right now.
Oh, dear.
- Oh! Oh, Steven!
- Hm?
- Did you see this house?
- No.
- Listen to this. "62-acre Vermont estate."
- Mm-hm.
"Fruit orchard, swimming pond,
360 view of the mountains."
This is so great.
- Why do you keep saving those things?
- A lot of people have vacation homes.
Yeah, people who take vacations
have vacation homes.
Well, you never know.
I know you in Vermont without
a speakerphone would not be pretty.
- That's extremely funny(!)
- Mm-hm.
Oh, God, it even has a barn.
Do you wanna make love?
Do you?
Oh. OK, I guess you do, huh?
(JC clears throat)
Mmm.
Mm, that was incredible.
(phone)
Hello.
One moment, please.
- JC, it's for you.
- I'm in a meeting. Take a message.
- JC, it's the telephone. Come on.
- What?
- It sounds like overseas.
- Oh. Ohh...
Hello?
Mm-hm.
Yes.
Cousin Andrew? (chuckles)
No, I don't have a cousin Andrew.
Oh, wai... No, wait, wait, wait.
My mother's cousin's daughter's son?
Yeah, you're right. I do.
Really? (gasps) Oh?
Well... Hello? Are you there?
This is a very bad connection.
What happened?
Oh, wow, that's awful.
I'm sorry, I really... I'm terribly sorry!
I still can't hear you!
What about his will?
No, no, no, I heard that part.
I just didn't hear the part... Hello?
- What's going on?
- I didn't hear the part... My goodness.
A cousin of mine died with his wife
in some accident.
I met him once when I was little.
He lived in England.
But anyway, he left me something
cos I'm his only living relative.
- This could be big. Was he rich?
- Of course he was rich. My family?
Hello? Yes! Yes, I'm here.
Uh-huh. JFK tomorrow.
Mrs Atwood.
All right. What time?
Yeah, no, but... Wait! Wait, excuse me...
...but I still didn't hear what it was
you said he left me. Hello?
Yes, hello...?
Can you believe this?
(snores)
(sighs)
Flight 701 now arriving
from London at Gate 29.
- Miss Wiatt?
- Oh, yes. Mrs Atwood?
British Department of Health
and Social Security. Let's go over here.
Sure. Sure.
- I'm sorry about Andrew.
- Tragic. I didn't know them personally.
Oh, no, neither did I, but it was very awful.
I mean, you know, what happened, so...
I have a lunch meeting in 40 minutes so
if I could sign for whatever it is I inherited.
Certainly. I just need you
to sign one thing. There.
So... what is it? A million dollars?
I beg your pardon?
- What is it? What is it that I inherited?
- Why, Elizabeth, of course.
- What Elizabeth of course? I mean...
- Your cousin Andrew's Elizabeth.
Are you jo... are you joking?!
Didn't Mrs Simpson tell you?
What?!
What? Wait a minute now.
I... Are you telling me I inherited a baby
from a cousin I haven't seen since 1954?
No! No way, uh-uh. This isn't possible.
Sorry. I assumed you understood
the nature of my trip.
Well, that's the funny thing. I can't have
a baby as I have a 12.30 lunch meeting.
I'm sorry, I have to reboard. I'm
on my way to visit relatives in Florida.
Now, Elizabeth, this is your Aunt JC,
the one I was telling you about.
You're going to live with her now. She'll
take care of you and love you very much.
- Mrs Atwood...
- Here are her things in there...
...a copy of the Wiatts' will,
and Elizabeth's birth certificate.
- I'm not the right person for this.
- You're the only person, Miss Wiatt.
She's agreeable. Once you get the hang
of it, you'll be a wonderful mother.
I don't... I...
Mother?!
Oh! Oh, oh. Agh, agh...
Armand! No, just get... Yeah.
Now, careful, Armand.
Her diaper's just a little bit damp.
- (Elizabeth sneezes)
- Gesundheit.
- Would you mind?
- No, I don't mind. What?
Oh, yeah. There.
- Anything to check?
- Yes!
- No, no, no!
- Just for an hour. She's very agreeable.
- Hughes... JC Wiatt.
- Good to meet you.
Good to meet you. I'm so sorry I'm late.
Thank you. Would you like...
I see. You have something to drink.
I'll join you. Waiter, I would like
a glass of wine, the same as Mr Larrabee.
- Yes, ma'am.
- (crying)
So, how long you in diapers for?
In town for?
Just a day.
- I can't take too much of a good thing.
- (bawling)
That's very funny.
I wanted to tell you I was just so knocked
out when Fritz told me about your call.
- I've always been a huge fan of yours...
- Armand, what is going on?
Let me handle it. I'll find out.
Excuse me, Hughes, Armand.
Sh, sh, sh.
Look, miss. Miss! I'm in the middle of
a major meeting. Keep her quiet, OK?
- Look, if it's so easy, you try it!
- I don't know how to...
- (stops crying)
- She wanted her mama.
I am not her mother. By the way, she has
been through a traumatic experience...
...so a little compassion
would not be out of line, OK?
I will give you a very big tip.
I'll give you my Visa card.
Can you believe somebody
would actually bring a baby here?
- (crying)
- As I was saying...
...I'm intrigued by
the panache of The Food Chain.
- Tell me about you.
- Me, huh? Me.
Well, I... I... Oh, I just... I'm assigned
to all our Fortune 100 companies.
I personally handle
IBM, Xerox, DuPont, Polaroid...
- Excuse me?
...Texas Instruments, uh, uh...
...Atlantic Overseas...
- Yo!
- What?
- Your baby just barfed all over my boss.
This is not my baby! I... I went to Harvard
and Yale, and I don't have children.
She just... She's... She belongs...
Look, I'm gonna hold her for just a minute
but this is not going to affect me. Um, yes.
Let's see, who else do I handle?
I also handle Hewlett-Packard...
...um, Citicorp, Eastman Kodak. They
always ask for me. They love me there.
Oh, God. Oh!
Um, Luvs, here we go. Pampers.
God. Huggies Supertrim. OK, large.
23 pounds and over.
Hey! Medium...
...20. 12. 12 to 24 pounds...
...and newborns up to 14 pounds.
OK, so... You're not newborn, are you?
How much do you weigh anyway?
22... Oh, 22 pounds. OK.
Oh, my God.
There.
Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I need a drink.
OK. I'm leaving you for a few minutes,
so I'm trusting you not to touch anything.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
(key turning in lock)
JC!
I'm home!
Mm, great hunting boots.
Now if I only hunted.
- Hi!
- Argh!
- (Elizabeth screams)
- God! Whoa!
(crash/)
- What is this?
- A baby.
- What is it doing here?
- You know that pin I thought I inherited?
- Yes.
- Well, it wasn't a pin.
Ah, here it is. "We hereby request
that JC Wiatt act as guardian...
...to our only child, Elizabeth Wiatt."
- Mm-hm.
"If JC Wiatt is unable to act as guardian,
we leave it to her discretion...
...to find suitable adoptive parents."
Thank God you have an out clause!
- You do want the out clause?
- Of course! What do you think?
I thought I heard
your biological clock ticking.
Oh, Steven, please! Tomorrow I'll contact
whoever it is who finds adoptive parents...
...but in the meantime we'll make do.
Would you hold her?
- Oh, no, no.
- I can't...
- I never held a baby.
- Oh, I see. What, I have?
- Oh, God.
- Thank you very much.
Look, there is nothing
in the world to get uptight about.
We're two summa cum laudes. We can
handle one little baby for eight hours.
- (Steven humming)
- (JC) Mm. Yum.
Mm-hm. Thank you very much.
(Steven) It's linguini time.
I think you're gonna like this.
(JC) Here you go.
Bon apptit.
Great idea. Give her linguini. Wonderful.
Ugh! I think it would
be easier to just move.
What are you doing?
Spaghetti's dropping from the ceiling.
"Put between baby's legs, release tapes,
position over front of absorbent padding."
(sighs)
Now... Oh.
"Release the tapes."
There.
"Front of absorbent..."
Agh!
This is really fabulous.
"Position over front
of absorbent padding."
OK, I've got it!
Perfect!
(coos and laughs)
(Elizabeth) Agh!
(Elizabeth laughs)
- (Elizabeth cries)
- Yes, now the diaper... OK.
Oh.
Sit. Yes, now, there. Sit.
Play with it. Here.
Yes, you can play with that.
Fine. You're doing splendidly.
- Speed it up a little/
- (canned laughter)
A lot of them. There must be 30, 40.
26/
(applause)
Weinberger insisted he needs everything
he asked for to negotiate with the Soviets.
This opportunity to go over
the growing nature...
(crying drowns out speech)
Do you mind? I'm trying... JC, please.
- I don't know what to do.
- All right, I'll handle this.
- Stop crying, please. Stop. I'll pay you.
- Elizabeth, now listen.
It is 11.53 and it's time
for you to go to sleep.
It's late, we have a lot of work to do,
and we need some peace and quiet.
Elizabeth, grow up. I have a conference in
Boston tomorrow. I need to concentrate.
Now, lie down, close your eyes and
stop crying by the time I count to three.
Don't shake your head at me, Elizabeth.
I'm speaking to you. Are you ready?
One...
...two...
...two and a half...
...three.
- Worked.
- Good.
All right, now just kiss
Uncle Steven good night.
Ow! Jesus!
What? She just bit me!
(giggles)
I hope this doesn't appear like
I'm a terrible person for not keeping her.
- You forgot this page.
- Oh, thank you. Thanks. Goodness.
Anyway, her parents, I never really
knew them and I'm not the motherly type.
I didn't have brothers and sisters,
so I didn't baby-sit.
Plus I'm not... natural with kids.
I'm a management consultant
and I work 12 to 14 hours a day...
...and I just really feel that Elizabeth
needs a more equipped situation.
No explanations are necessary. I'm sure
we'll have no problems placing Elizabeth.
Don't feel guilty. You're not the first
to put a child up for adoption.
I understand that. I'm really
very comfortable with my decision.
And I... It's just...
Guilt's not a part of it.
Guilt's not a word in my vocabulary.
I mean, please, guilt?
Believe me, JC,
you made the right choice.
You're gonna be a partner.
Your career comes first.
Look at it this way: You got her all
these toys and $1,700 worth of clothes.
- That's not a bad haul, if you ask me.
- Thank you for your support, Jesus.
- Hey, no problem. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Put this over you like that...
...and...
(sneezes twice)
Well, gesundheit.
What? You're hot.
You're burning up!
Oh, let me see.
What did I do with that book?
Oh, no. Um, sneezing.
Let's see. Sneezing, sneezing...
171. Don't get sick. Just don't get sick.
One cold mist humidifier, one steam
vaporiser, one baby thermometer...
...one baby Tylenol, baby nose drops,
baby cough medicine and...
- Mm-hm.
...a bottle of Valium?
Oh, yeah. That's for me.
Oh, I ca...
Oh, I...
- Oh, boy. I gotta take this.
- (cries)
I know, I know. It's gonna be so fast.
I have to have this before I do this.
I know. Elizabeth, it's gonna be
such a cinch, OK? Here we go.
Now, try one more time. Here we go.
OK, good.
(phone)
(sighs)
Hello?
Oh. Oh.
Oh, uh-huh. Yes.
Yes, that's great. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Ten o'clock. OK. All right.
We'll be there. Right.
(woman) This is Mr and Mrs White.
Hi.
The Whites have been
anxious to meet Elizabeth.
Before we take her, I wanna hear from
you there's no chance of us gettin' a male.
The agency representative that came to
our motorhome said we might get a boy...
...so Father here wants to make sure
no stone's been left unturned.
We did try to locate a boy for you,
but there are none available at this time.
Well, then...
...she all right for you, Mother?
- Yes, sir.
- She got all of her shots and everything?
- Lord, Merle, it's not a puppy! (laughs)
I understand you bought
Elizabeth some new clothes.
- A couple of things.
- (sneezes)
She's just getting over a cold,
so I brought her medicine and...
Well, she takes a quarter
of a teaspoon every four hours...
...and I packed her spoon in
with her clothes and toys.
The clothes and toys won't be necessary.
Where are you folks from?
I mean, if I'm allowed to ask.
We'll be moving back
to Duluth next week.
Most of Merle's family is out that way now
and our pastor is out there an' all.
I'm sure Fern will like it just fine.
Fern?
We're naming her after Merle's mama.
Oh, hush, hush. Hush now.
- Well, maybe I should...
- I'll take care of formalities from here on.
You're free to go.
Oh, I am? Oh, well...
Bye-bye.
You... you take care.
Right.
Right.
(crying)
(bawling)
Just don't expect too much, OK?
OK?
I couldn't give her to a woman
who called her husband "Sir".
Her whole life flashed before me and
suddenly I saw in a Dairy Queen uniform.
- Oh, look, JC...
- Anyway, I can handle it. I really can.
A lot of working women do it:
Eleanor Roosevelt, Ethel Kennedy.
- Ethel Kennedy?
- OK, she doesn't work, but a lot do it.
You don't know what you're getting into.
You think my mom had a doctorate
in parenting? You learn.
You should see me diaper her now.
I am so brilliant at it.
I appreciate what you're going
through, I do, but for me, I just...
- Go ahead.
- I just...
You can be honest. You what?
I just...
- No?
- I can't.
OK.
- Do we have any women partners?
- One. In the Chicago office.
- Good morning, Mr Sloane.
- Right, right. The redhead.
Everett, it's down here.
The first office on the left.
I found it! Here you go.
Here you go, Miss. There it is.
Oh!
Oh, hello! Oh, hello.
- Everett, you remember JC, don't you?
- Of course. Everett, how do you do?
I thought you were in Washington.
Won't you please come right on in?
Yes. Sit down.
Um... (whispers) Charlotte?
Everett, why don't you sit down?
Oh, Everett, excuse me. So, so sorry.
If you could just scoot over. I'm sorry.
(gasps) Oh, my goodness.
I have a hair dryer in the closet.
- I'm fine.
- Perhaps a towel?
- No, I'm fine.
- Very sorry about that.
- When did she have a baby?
- This isn't JC's baby. It's her cousin's.
- She's just keeping it for a few days.
- Well, Fritz, as it turns out...
...I'm keeping her - excuse me -
I'm keeping her a little longer than that.
- How much longer?
- Oh, for ever.
Could I interest anybody in anything
to drink? 7 UP, Perrier... formula?
I hear you'd like to be a partner.
Oh, yes. I would love to be a partner.
It represents the kind of tenure that...
Oh, pardon me. Yes, thank you.
I'm so sorry, Everett.
It represents the kind of tenure
that I've always wanted.
Oh, I'm so, so sorry.
So, anyway, it does. Would you excuse us
for one moment? I'm sorry. Pardon me.
Charlotte! Charlotte.
Look, this is the single most
important moment in my entire career.
If you don't stick this bottle in your mouth
you'll be on the next Greyhound to Duluth.
Do you understand? OK? Now take it.
- (sighs) OK.
- Nice to see you again.
- You're leaving?
- Yes.
I wanted to discuss The Food Chain's new
entries in the food market. I have ideas...
- Good. I hope they buy it.
- They will. The Tiger Lady's on the case.
- Mm-hm.
- Yes.
I'm hiring a nanny tonight. She'll never
be here again. Nothing's going to change.
I need you to come with me to Cleveland
to talk to The Food Chain.
I'll be there.
I can still count on you
seven days a week, 48 hours a day?
I'm not gonna turn into Erma Bombeck!
I'm a maniac! You know that.
Yeah.
(doorbell)
Hi. I'm here for the nanny interview.
So why don't you tell me
a little bit about yourself?
- I'm originally from Wichita, Kansas.
- Oh. And what brought you to New York?
- The Lord.
- Uh-huh.
Well, thank you very much for coming by.
I've just graduated from Johns Hopkins...
...and I'm taking a year's sabbatical
before medical school.
Fabulous. And what
brought you to New York?
I came here to live with a guy,
but that didn't work out.
Then I suffered a nervous breakdown. You
see, my father tried to commit suicide...
...and when I came home
I found him at the bottom of the stairs.
My mother was drunk and
she accused me of trying to kill him.
So... what did you say
your baby's name was?
(German accent) I think you should know
from the start that I'm a full-charge nanny.
I don't argue... and
I do not like to be argued with.
I will teach your daughter to respect
a man. I speak only when spoken to.
I need no bed.
I prefer to sleep on the floor.
Well, I don't have any real
nanny experience, but I love kids...
...and I did a lot of baby-sitting
for people back home in Mandrake Falls.
You're hired.
- Elizabeth?
- Yes.
I am leaving for Cleveland now.
I will be back tonight, and tomorrow
we will spend quality time together.
Now, Eve, your new baby-sitter...
...is a very responsible person...
...and I feel very comfortable
leaving you with her.
I gotta go. Eve!
Good girl. Eve, you know
how to do everything, right?
- Don't worry. Everything is under control.
- Don't worry? Worry's my middle name.
- Really?
- Well, no. (stifles laughter with a cough)
- Now, you have my number at the office.
- Got it right here.
Good. And if you take her
to the park I want you to...
I know. "Take the Mace.
This isn't Mandrake Falls."
- Very good. Thank you, Eve.
- You're welcome.
Everybody knows The Food Chain
is one hell of an organisation.
Your managers are effective,
your workers motivated.
According to data, your margins
could be the highest in the industry.
20% growth, equity returns
in the high twenties. So...
...what's the problem? Why isn't The Food
Chain number one in the marketplace?
That's the question keeping me up at
night, then I realised the answer is simple.
- Miss Wiatt?
- Yes.
- Line two is for you.
- Well, I'm...
- They said it was important.
- Well, excuse me.
JC Wiatt.
Eve? Um, Eve, I'm in the middle of a very
important meeting, so what's going on?
(whispers) The nipples?
Did you look in the drawer
to the right of the sink?
Well, why don't you do that? And
make sure they're sterilised, OK?
No, no, no. Eve, don't put her on, please...
Hi, honey. Yes, I hear you. OK, OK.
Itsy-bitsy spider...
Good! Would you put Eve back on?
Eve! Eve, I gotta... I gotta go.
Oh... Oh...
Where was I?
Oh!
- Oh, hi, Miss Wiatt.
- Hi, Eve.
Um, you got a message today.
Uh-huh?
Mr Curtis called and he said
"Congratulations, you got the account."
Well, thank you, Eve.
Uh, what is going on?
Um...
...this is Wayne.
- Dwayne.
And we met in the park today
and he was just leaving.
Go with him.
So, Helga, tell me about yourself.
How's your social life?
Would you say it's active?
I have no outside interests other than my
sister in Wiesbaden, my music and books.
Oh, I see. So you're not
really involved. You have no...
- Never have.
- Oh.
So, Helga, you're gonna do
a three-mile walk every day?
- You sure that's not too much air?
- She will be fine.
Good. I've gotta run.
I've got an eight o'clock appointment.
Bye-bye, darling. Thank you, Helga.
Helga!
Helga! Pardon me, Helga!
Helga! Helga!
Helga, excuse me. I'm really sorry, but
I forgot there's just one very small detail.
Could I have your social security
number for tax reasons?
One, two, six, dash, four, two, dash,
four, two, seven, six.
Great. And your sister's name
in Wiesbaden, in case of emergency.
- And her prison record, if any.
- Excuse me?
Oh, I'm silly.
I mean her address, if you have it.
Dorte von Haupt,
Kungensensgadestrasse 13, Wiesbaden.
"Dauter van Haupt, van Wiesbaden." I'll
just write it phonetically. It doesn't matter.
Oh, jeez, I'm late. I'll get it later.
Oh, bye! Bye-bye, Elizabeth.
Bye-bye. Bye.
(honking and shouting)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... Really, I'm quite fine.
I'll see you... this evening!
Charlotte, take my coat, will you, please?
Oh! I gotta hurry, I know. I'm late. OK.
- Meeting's started.
- Thank you.
Oh, sorry! The problems of motherhood.
I had absolutely no idea.
- So, where are we?
- Have you seen that?
(buzzer)
JC, we were just buzzing you.
Come in for a sec.
Sure.
Oh. Hi.
Listen, I have good news.
I'm moving Kenny up.
Oh.
I think after three years under your
tutelage, he's ready, don't you think?
Sure. Absolutely.
Yeah. I want him to be your
first lieutenant on The Food Chain.
Well, he's already been helping me a lot.
Yeah, I want you to really involve him.
Larrabee wants to push up the deadline.
- I'll need you both full time.
- Oh, no. No, no.
- It's... great. I've got plenty for him to do.
- Thank you so much, JC. Really.
Uh, listen, I've got dinner with
Larrabee's people, so I gotta run.
- Again, thanks for this opportunity.
- That's all right.
Yeah, fine, yeah.
- Just congratulations.
- Oh, thank you, really.
Oh.
You were smart
to recruit that kid. He's good.
Yeah, he is great. He is really just great.
Oh, there you are. You forgot your
Teddy Ruxpin. The Puffalump is on order.
- The batteries are in the box.
- Thank you, Charlotte.
(Charlotte) Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
Good night. Have a good weekend.
Good night.
- Good night, Fritz.
- Good night.
What about a week from Wednesday
for junior symphony?
No, no, no. Nicole has drama
on Wednesdays. Uh-uh.
Ben's got playgroup
and French on Monday...
...Gymboree on Tuesday,
computer readiness on Thursday.
What about Friday,
after violin but before his shrink?
- Perfect.
- Crosby, go play in the sandbox. Here.
- (sighs)
- What is wrong with you? You look awful.
We heard from Dalton.
- Crosby didn't get in.
- (both) Oh, no.
I'm so upset.
Without the right preschool
she can't get the right kindergarten.
Without the right kindergarten, I can
forget any hope of an Ivy League college!
Honey, that is so devastating.
I just don't understand it.
Her rsum was perfect.
Her references were impeccable.
Dennis is gonna kill me.
Excuse me? I heard you
talking about preschools...
...and I was just wondering, what age
do they actually start? I forget.
Well, it depends. Two and a half, three.
Oh, yeah?
Are the good schools hard to get into?
Hard? Are you kidding?
I've had Alexis registered at the
Preschool for Performing Arts since birth.
He's already on the waiting list for Dalton.
- So if we're not on a waiting list by now...
- You can forget about it, honey.
Mom, doesn't the sky look just like
Czanne's Bay of Marseilles?
Gee, it does. Oh, Ben, that is
a terrific observation. Go play, honey.
You... They teach Czanne in preschool?
Well, no. Actually Ben
is a graduate of The Center.
- Oh, that's an idea for you.
- Really? The Center? What is that?
It's a week-long programme that teaches
you how to multiply a child's intelligence.
When we first went there,
Ben, he could barely speak.
By the time we left,
he was reciting The Raven.
What kind of classes
do you have your daughter in now?
Oh...
- None.
- Not even a Mommy & Me?
- No.
- Not Gymboree?
- Not reading readiness?
- Nothing! Child can't even hold a cup.
The other babies are way ahead of her.
I thought I had problems!
(man) Welcome to
The Center for Brighter Babies.
The point here, mums and dads,
is to teach your children the facts of life.
All they see and hear
can be stored and utilised.
Please allow no more than one second
per information card. You may... begin.
( "Everchanging Times")
(mothers in unison)
Republic of Botswana.
President Kennedy.
Door knob.
BMW.
Whoopi Goldberg.
I'm late for a meeting.
Just let me out here. I can run, OK?
Cos you guys didn't come in, I asked
you for all the research on Thursday.
When was it? When did I...? Oh! Sorry.
Whoa. Very sorry.
Where was I?
Caught in between
It comes back to
You and me, everchanging times
I gotta find me a better understanding
Every day I keep forgetting what's mine
I gotta find me a way less demanding
Tchaikovsky.
Great gray owl.
Shrimp sushi.
And I had some big ideas
So much of my life's still not completed
Hopes and fears
Watching them change
into something new
Wondering if
I'm going to find the answer
Loving you all of my life
It comes back to
You and me running out of time
I gotta find me a better understanding
Every day I keep forgetting what's mine
I gotta find me a way less demanding
And we're holding on so tight together
If we convince Larrabee that it's a rational
thing to do, which it is, he'll go for it.
Right? So you know what you do?
You put a shark repellent in the deal.
Hey, you know what, Rog?
Let me handle it, OK? Thank you.
Charlotte, can you get me
Elyse ASAP? Thank you.
JC, uh...
I thought you were taking the day off.
What brings you back so early?
- Fate, I think.
- Fate? (chuckles nervously)
- We had a breakfast meeting in here.
- Oh, you did?
- You just have so much more room.
- Big, isn't it?
- I'll be out in just a second.
- OK.
- Excuse me.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Ken, do you know anything about...
- Fritz. Hello.
Oh, you're here.
Listen, Larrabee's all over me about
that target list. Know when it'll be ready?
Oh, I'll have it on your desk
first thing in the morning.
- OK.
- Well, JC, actually I roughed out a draft...
...while you were at that baby thing.
D'you mind if I...?
No. No, not at all.
It wasn't due until tomorrow, but if you
have it done, I... think that that's great.
Oh, terrific.
- Good. Great.
- Great.
(buzzes)
Hey... Ken, this is my office.
- Yeah.
- All right?
OK. Yeah.
JC Wiatt.
- It's for you.
- Oh, great. Thank you.
Mama!
(babbles)
Oh, I see. You took
your diaper off again, didn't you?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
- (sneezes)
- I hope you're not catching a cold again.
You wanna sleep with me tonight?
You know, I sure could use the company.
Mary, would you have Robin see me
as soon as she gets in?
She's already here.
They had an early meeting.
Oh.
(chatter)
Oh, Robin? I need the flash report
in my office right away.
Uh, Ken said that we're going
to pass on the flash report from now on.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute now.
Since when is Ken calling the shots?
- Ken?
- Yeah.
I asked Robin for
Food Chain's flash report...
...and you've made a decision
I'm not aware of.
- We talked about this. The figures are...
- Robin, will you excuse us for a moment?
Thank you, Robin.
Their figures are on track for the year...
...and we feel it's counterproductive, so...
- The Food Chain is my account.
I decide what is and
what is not counterproductive!
- You're taking this personally.
- You bet! I'm your superior...
...and I will not be countermanded!
- OK.
Don't walk away from me! If it wasn't
for me, you'd be selling shirts at Barneys!
JC, can I see you for a minute?
Well, of course.
I'm sorry. I know I went over the top,
but this guy's getting out of control.
I know he's inexperienced and young,
but I can't use him any more.
- Pawn him off on somebody else.
- It's not that easy.
Sure it is. Give him to Joel or Ted.
They can use him, but...
- JC! JC.
...I can't use him any more.
I'm turning The Food Chain over to Ken.
No.
This account is too important
for us to take any risks.
Wait a minute. I mean, I...
We have this account because of me!
I know that, but you've changed, JC.
You've lost your concentration.
I don't know, you've gone... soft.
Fritz, a baby came into my life. It's taken
me a few weeks to adjust, but I'm back.
Look, I need a solid team on this thing,
and Larrabee feels comfortable with Ken.
No, I think it's for the best.
I'm putting you on
the Ferber Dog Chow account.
Oh. Well, I see...
I...
I thought that I was gonna be
a partner. That's what I thought.
Well, maybe next year
after things have... cooled down.
Oh, swallow your pride, JC.
Ferber's is a low-profile account. You'll
have more time to spend with the baby.
I told you, you can't have it all.
Nobody can. Not me, not anybody.
I don't even know my grandchildren...
...but I've got this company
grossing $200m a year!
Well, something has got to give!
You've been on the fast track a long time,
kiddo. It's OK to slow down.
Nobody's keeping score.
Fritz, I can't go out there now and say I'm
working on the Ferber Dog Chow account.
Well, I guess you're gonna
have to do what you have to do.
Let me see...
OK. OK.
Hello? Yes, I'm calling about
the 62-acre Vermont estate.
I was wondering, is it still for sale?
Uh-huh.
Honey, you know that big car
I bought yesterday?
Well, the reason I bought it is because
we're gonna go and live in the country.
Yes, we are. Here, look. See? See?
Yes. This is our house!
Can you believe it?
I just phoned the number and I bought it.
Honey, it's so exciting!
We actually own a house
with fruit orchards, a pond and a barn.
Elizabeth, it's going to be
a whole new life for us. Yup.
I'm going to learn to relax and sleep late,
bake apple pies, get into quilts.
I can't wait/ We're gonna be
just like the farmer in the dell.
A cow! Honey, look. Moo!
Over there. Moo, cow. Moo, cow.
- New York plates.
- Oh-oh.
Aaah! Aaah!
Hi! Hi!
We're gonna go. Yeah!
Damn!
Isn't this just fabulous?
I'm gonna rest for just a second.
I'm just a little bit out of shape.
This isn't exactly the rowing machine.
Oh, no, the oars.
Oh, no. Oh, God, I need those.
Don't worry, don't panic.
I can handle this. Everything's fine.
Help!
I think that should be enough for a pie.
(babbles contentedly)
And then the prince
kissed Sleeping Beauty...
...she woke up and looked into the prince's
eyes, and you know what she said?
She said "Thank you for waking me,
Prince, because I overslept...
...and I have medical school today and I'm
going to be an important doctor one day...
...like all women can be."
And then... you know what they did?
They made a date to meet each other
after her graduation.
And you know what?
It's a little bit chilly in here.
Let's go see what the radiator's doing.
Let's see what the radiator's doing.
It's cold. Huh? Huh?
See? Here. Here.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Them pipes is corroded, Miss. There's
no way I can get this system going.
(squawking)
- It's a bad break. Gonna be a cold winter.
- Yeah? How do you know?
Well, you see them birds?
They're gullywillows. When they flap
like that it means a big snow's coming.
- I better call the newspaper.
- Wait. Mr Boone, are you saying...
...there's no way of saving this system?
- Uh, yup.
- Do you know how much it's gonna cost?
- Uh, nope.
Uh-huh. Do you know the ballpark?
Well, somewhere in
the neighbourhood of $7-8,000.
- What? Are you sure?
- Yup.
Uh, Mr Boone.
One more question.
Are you the only plumber in town?
Uh, yup.
God!
(spits)
So...
So, how's the roof?
You've seen worse, right?
Uh, nope.
What are you saying?
I need a whole new roof?
Uh, yup.
(phone)
(JC) Hello?
Elyse?
Oh, hi! It's so good to hear your voice.
Oh, I'm fine. Really.
I've never been happier.
Um, right now? Well, actually
I'm making baby apple sauce.
No, it's not from jars.
No, it's from real apples.
I told you about my orchards, right?
Well, I invented this recipe for Elizabeth...
...and, you know, I mean
she really loves it and, well, it...
It gives me something to do
while it snows.
So tell me, what's going on in New York?
Oh, hectic. Oh, right.
You did? Ha!
You mean you got the big corner office?
We're talking about the big, big one?
Oh, well, I mean, congratulations.
Oh, yeah.
You did?
It was, huh?
Well, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like fun if you're into
that New York kind of nightlife, sure.
Really? You did?
Oh.
Yeah. Where'd you meet him?
(radio) I'll never
Smile again
Until I smile at you
I'll never laugh...
Give me Waterman at Atlantic Overseas.
(sighs) I'm pathetic.
(DJ) This is the Night Owl
on WHD Y, Hadleyville...
... signing off and wishing you
a pleasant tomorrow.
And it's gonna be a nice one.
Only 17 below. Enjoy it.
No!
(Mr Boone) Uh-oh.
- Your well's dried up.
- Oh. Oh, God, that's good.
I thought it was serious. We can just fill
it up because there's a hose around back.
(Mr Boone chuckles)
- Fill it... fill it up?!
- What?
Fill it up?
Lady, you're... you're out of water. You're
gonna have to tap into the county line.
- (groans)
- And that's three miles down the road.
I am almost out of money, Mr Boone.
I don't understand these technicalities.
Just tell me one thing, OK?
Is this going to be expensive?
Yup.
Do you know approximately
how much this is gonna cost me?
- Nope.
- No. Right. Well, just guess!
Uh, $5,000, $6,000. Maybe more.
Oh, well, that's just fine. That's it!
I've had it! I can't make it here, OK?
I mean, I am not...
I am not Paul Bunyan, all right?
I went to Harvard.
I graduated at the top of my class.
For what? To spend my life
fixing up this dilapidated shack?!
Well, you can just forget it
because I am gonna get outta here.
You see, I need to work.
I need people, I need a social life.
I need sex!
P-p-p-please, I'm a married man.
(sobs) I'm gonna shrivel up and die here!
I mean, how much baby food is a person
supposed to make in their lifetime?
I am a career woman. I am used to
having phone lists and dinner meetings.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Uh, nope.
(screams) No?! I have been "yupped"
and "noped" to death by you guys.
I have had it with whiskers and plaids!
Look at me. I am going nuts!
I used to be... cute.
I am not prepared for wells that run dry.
I just wanna turn on the faucet
and have water!
I don't wanna know
where it's coming from!
Argh! Another six thousand!
- Argh!
- Oh.
Hi.
I'm Doctor Cooper.
You passed out and Mr Boone
brought you here to my office.
- You OK?
- Yeah. Where's the baby?
- Oh, she's fine. She's with my nurse.
- Oh.
- I fainted?
- Yeah.
Really? I did?
Oh, I've never fainted before, Doctor.
Is there any chance
you might be expecting, Mrs Wiatt?
No. There's absolutely
no chance of that, Doctor.
Zero chance of that. Less than zero.
Well, it's OK.
You can talk about it if you want.
No, I can't.
- I can't talk about it!
- Wait...
Here you are. Here.
Don't get upset. It's just...
Oh, Doctor!
You thought that I...
you thought that I was pregnant?
- Well...
- Fat chance.
But, you see... but that's not
why I'm crying, you know, because...
...I haven't had any...
I haven't had any, you know...
...sex.
It's getting that I can hardly say the word
and I was never that into it...
...but when it's gone and you have no
prospects of it in the future, it's upsetting.
I... I hope you don't mind
my talking to you like this and all.
No. No. Just... just... just relax.
I don't know how to relax.
It's not in my nature.
You know, I mean,
I moved here from New York...
...foolishly thinking that
the country would be good for me.
I thought that...
I needed to slow down and...
I wanted to...
I wanted to, um...
...I wanted to think and
I wanted to put things into perspective...
...but now I just wanna go home.
I am broke, I have nothing but
this 200-year-old house that I hate.
I just...
I'm so...
I'm so lonely, Doctor.
- I'm so lonely!
- It's OK.
(neighing)
- What is that? What's that?
- That's my next patient.
- What do you mean?
- I'm a vet.
- Hi, Jo.
- You're a what?!
- I'm a veterinarian.
- I'm spilling my guts out to a vet!
I'm lying on a vet's table telling you about
my sex life! Do I have horse hair on me?!
- I thought you knew.
- Based on what? What?
You're wearing a white jacket.
You've got diplomas and a stethoscope.
- Relax. I wasn't gonna put you to sleep.
- What's that supposed to be, vet humour?
Dr Cooper, I think it's unethical of you
to allow an emotionally unglued woman...
...to sit here and think you're a real doctor!
I think I should report you to the AMA
or the AVA or the VMA or whatever...
(screams and gasps)
Now, look, may I please have my coat
before your next patient eats it?
- Here.
- I'll sell my house, go back to civilisation.
I'll get myself a nice little apartment,
watch HBO and have a real life again!
Oh...
- Reckon she'll be able to sell the place?
- Not likely.
Place was for sale for five years.
She was their only nibble.
Five years and I was the only nibble?
If I can't sell the house, I can't afford
to move back to New York. I know, honey.
- We'll do the best we can, dear.
- No. Five years and I'm the only nibble?
(sighs)
- Almost too pretty to eat.
- I got carried away during the last storm.
The twins loved the last batch,
and they don't eat nothing out of a jar.
- Ugh!
- What?
(clears throat) Oh, dear. I got some
of this aspirin stuck in my throat.
- Could I have just a piece of bread or...?
- Oh, yeah, sure. Some white bread.
- Oh, my God!
- Just try this.
Oh. Oh.
(mutters) If I could just...
- Excuse me?
- Hm?
Are you feeling all right?
I heard about your collapse
over at the town meeting.
Dr Cooper's nurse
is also our mayor, you know.
I didn't know that.
So I'm the talk of the town?
- Well, so to speak.
- Well, that's very comforting to hear.
- Listen, Sam, I could use a few things.
- Mm-hm.
A half a gallon of milk, two bottles of
apple juice, a box of Hamburger Helper...
...and, um, two dozen cans
of that kerosene.
Yeah, I'm working on
a small project at home.
- (bell rings)
- (chatter)
- I wanna get back to the pottery place.
- Isn't this place cute?
- The whole state is cute.
- Yale, did you lock the car?
Yes, honey, I locked it.
- Do we have enough maple syrup?
- Get a couple more.
- Oh, honey, look at these! For Lindsey?
- Those are great.
Oh, look at this.
Does this look good on me?
- Well, what are you going for?
- A turtleneck, Sundays reading the paper.
What, no good? They're $12.
You don't need a $12 shirt.
Get a Ralph Lauren.
Gail, look at this! Gourmet baby food!
- I've never seen this before.
- Fabulous idea. How much are they?
- Oh, $3.50 a jar.
- Cheap.
- Well, $4.50. I mean they're $5.50 a jar.
- Great packaging concept.
- This is unique.
- That means the way it's designed.
Oh, really? You learn something
new every day, don't you?
We'll take a dozen. And how are you...
...you cute little country baby?
- We'll take a dozen, too.
I can't believe nobody's come up with
this before. Gourmet baby food. Fabulous.
- Great Christmas gift.
- (JC gasps) Great!
God, it's the greatest
Christmas present. It is.
- Honey, maybe we ought to get more.
- We should.
We, too.
I'd like to see everything you have on new
consumerism, baby food manufacturers.
Also, recent issues of Progressive Grocer
and American Demographics.
(clears throat)
Look, I know we saw each other
so it'd be stupid for me to ignore you.
No. No, really, it wouldn't. Please
ignore me. You have my permission.
- (chuckles)
- Yeah.
There's something about you
that's kinda... hard to ignore, you know?
Uh-huh.
- What are you doing here, anyway?
- I'm just doing a little bit of research.
- Can I help you with that?
- No, no, you can't, really. You cannot.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were a vet.
- Hi, Doctor Cooper.
- Hiya, Stacy.
I teach a class here once a week.
Aren't you supposed to be
headed back to civilisation?
Oh, I'm working on it, believe me.
- What?
- Nothing.
I was just wondering if maybe
you wanted to go have a cup of coffee.
I don't drink coffee.
Anyway, I thought you asked in a way...
...that sounded like you weren't asking,
so I just think forget it. Just forget it.
Shit.
I can't believe this.
Um, are you this nervous
around all men, or is it just me?
(thud)
Oh, no.
"Place the jack tongue..." - Oh, God -
"...in the slot in the bumper."
OK. OK.
All right, now I got this bumper.
I'm positioning this tongue in the slot...
Oh! Oh, no.
- You need some help?
- Everything is under control.
Thank you very much.
- Here, wait, wait...
- I've got it. I've got it just fine.
It's gotta go in the slot. Here.
- Oh.
- There you go.
Yes, well, I guess I'm just... I guess I'm
just not used to this kind of jack, that's all.
Right.
You know, uh, you kind of remind me
of a bull terrier sometimes.
Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.
You do. You're feisty and quarrelsome...
...and hard to get along with.
- (laughs)
Even a bull terrier,
once they warm up to you, they...
They what?
They bring you your slippers?
- There.
- There, you got it.
Now... I'm just going to...
...loosen the lug nuts.
These are... The lug nuts are right there.
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
Is there something I've done to you
that I don't know about?
Right. Right. You don't know that
I've been completely humiliated.
Why? Because you told me
you hadn't had sex for over a year?
It has not been over a year. Where
did you hear that, at the town meeting?
- There's nothing to be ashamed of.
- I'm not ashamed!
I just really choose not to talk
about this any further. There!
If a man knows your frailties, it doesn't
necessarily mean that he's your enemy.
- I mean, I like frailties. I like women.
- Ugh.
- So you're under control here?
- Yes, I'm fine.
You and me are probably the only two
people under 60 in Hadleyville County...
...so we might as well make the best of it.
I appreciate you taking time to chat, but
I'm not in the mood for idle conversation.
So if it should happen again, I think we
should both try to ignore each other...
...cos I'm not one of your students who's
gonna faint every time you say hello.
I am a tough, cold career woman...
...who has absolutely nothing in common
with a veterinarian from Hadleyville.
All I have on my mind at this point in my
life is to get out of this moth-eaten town...
...and nothing here,
including you, Doctor Charm...
...holds any interest for me whatsoever.
So what do you think about that?
See you around.
Wow.
We don't sell baby food.
But this is unlike any baby food you've
tasted. It's all natural. It's home-made.
We don't sell baby food.
Right.
Now, ladies,
I'm telling you honestly, trust me.
I swear this is the greatest stuff ever.
Honest. Are you gonna try it?
I'm going to show you something
you're not going to believe.
Here you go. You want this? You
wanna take it and put it in your mouth?
(woman) I like it. I love it.
Let me get this straight. You want the
Country Baby peas, corn and bananas.
- Why don't I send you my catalogue?
- Great.
Elizabeth, that's right!
- Morning, JC.
- Morning.
- We'll send that right out, Mayor.
- Thanks, Mary.
Oh, excuse me, Mayor.
Aren't you Doctor Cooper's nurse?
- Yes, I am. How are you feeling?
- I'm fine. How's Doctor Cooper?
- Oh, he's fine.
- Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.
I was thinking about him the other day,
and it's good to hear that he's pretty fine.
Well, he had a pretty bad cold,
but he's much better now.
- Just has a bit of a cough.
- Well, tell him I said hi. No, forget it.
- (coughs)
- Oh, my goodness.
Well, I'll see you later, Doctor.
Hi.
- Oh, are you taking something for that...?
- Oh, yeah, I think I got it under control.
That's good. I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah...
So, I hear your business
is really taking off.
It's unbelievable.
We have our products in a catalogue.
- Do you?
- That's right. And I'm doing very good.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
You're still moving back to New York?
- Oh, yeah. First chance I get.
- Hm. Hm.
Huh. Um, yuh.
- Well, it's good to see ya.
- Oh, isn't that something?
It's good to see you, too.
- Take care.
- Um, yeah. Yeah. Take care.
- There it goes! Great!
- You're big-time now!
It looks good. I love it!
(jazz music)
- JC. JC.
- Hi. Oh, Katie, how are ya?
- I'm good. I'm good. This is Ben.
- Hi. I knew it was Ben. I knew it.
Hi, Annie. Did you see Elizabeth?
Does she look cute tonight?
You wanna dance, huh?
- Hello.
- And how are you doing?
Hi.
I didn't know
you were a music aficionado.
I never miss a concert
my plumber plays in.
- He's pretty good, isn't he?
- Yeah, he's very good. Yeah.
Oh, so this is the famous
Country Baby baby?
This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
- I know.
- Well, you look good.
- Well, thanks.
So do you. Um, I like your shirt.
- Do you?
- Yeah.
- You want a... Oh, you don't drink coffee.
- But I drink other things.
- You do?
- Yeah.
7 UP and root beer, iced tea and water.
I drink, uh... punch.
Punch. Well, let's have some punch.
Oh!
We're gonna slow things
down now a bit, folks...
...so if you wanna take hold of your
favourite partner, now'd be a good time.
One, two, three...
Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves of sycamore
- Moonlight in Vermont
- (crowd gasps)
- Wanna dance? Would you like to dance?
- I would. I'd love to dance...
...but what do I do with the chatterbox?
- I'll hold her for you.
- Will you really, Mayor? Thanks.
OK, I'll be back. I'll be back.
- Oh, quick.
- OK.
By the way, I don't really
slow-dance all that well.
So do you still wanna do this?
Well, come on, let's give it a whirl.
- Hi. Is she asleep?
- Oh, yeah, she's really out.
Um, I think I have
a bottle of wine in here somewhere.
- This is a short house.
- Oh!
It's in the refrigerator.
Oh, you know, um... I know what. I'm...
- I'm gonna get us some glasses.
- OK.
Hey, you've stocked up, huh?
Oh, I know. I'm always
experimenting with new recipes.
I wonder if maybe I could interest you
in something like some strained zucchini?
- Hm. Maybe later.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah. This is it. Here it is.
No?
No? No, oh, no, no... No.
- Yes?
- Yeah. It's, no, it's just... Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
You're not getting cold, are you?
Mm-mm.
- You know something?
- Hm?
Remember that night in the library...
...when you asked me if all men
made me nervous, or if it was just... you?
- Yeah.
- You know what my answer is?
What?
- I think that all men make me nervous.
- Yeah.
Except you.
(whispers) What?
(JC) Moonlight in Vermont
La, da, da
Oh! In the wintertime
Moonlight
In Vermont
Oh, people... Yeah.
The sun trails by
(giggles and mumbles)
(he whistles "Moonlight in Vermont")
Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
- You tired?
Well, I usually require
more than 20 minutes' sleep a night.
Oh. Ha!
Hi.
- Daddy!
- What are you doing up?
- Dada!
- (both laugh)
No, no, no.
This is not Dada. No!
I think she's at that age where
she confuses "man" with "Dada".
Hm.
- (phone)
- Oh. OK.
Let's sit here, honey.
No, I've got to answer the phone. Hello?
Fritz?
Well... well, hello. Hi.
Well, I'm fine. How are you?
Oh, well, thank you. Thanks.
Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
They do? Really?
They are? Well... well, yes, of course,
I would love to talk to him.
Um...
Absolutely. Sure. That'd be great. I...
This afternoon would be fine. Just fine.
OK, Fritz. OK.
OK. Bye-bye.
You... I can't...
The Food Chain
wants to buy Country Baby.
Is it for sale?
Well, I don't know. I...
I don't know, but the thought of
going back to New York as a hit is wow!
I mean...
...we're talking major big.
This is... big, you know.
Hm.
So I guess this means you won't be free
for bingo tonight down at the fire station?
Um...
...can I call you later?
Sure. I'll be here.
(phone)
Sloane, Curtis and Company.
Will you hold, please?
May I help you?
- Miss Wiatt.
- Hi.
- You look wonderful.
- Thank you very much.
- Tell Mr Curtis I'm here.
- They're in the conference room.
- Good. OK.
- Miss Wiatt is on her way.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello, Miss Wiatt.
- Hello, Ellen.
- JC, good to see you.
- Thank you.
- Where's the little one?
- At home.
- Oh, too bad. Come in. We're all waiting.
- Thank you.
- You remember Hughes Larrabee.
- Hughes.
- Thank you for coming.
- Good to see you.
- And Fritz.
- JC, welcome back.
- Thanks.
- Shall we?
You look terrific.
First of all, JC, on behalf of all of us,
I want to congratulate you...
...on a great, great success.
- Thank you.
Usually in a meeting of this nature
we have to take the client by the hand...
...and lead him through the negotiations.
But in this case, we know we're
dealing with a savvy businesswoman.
So we'll cut through the proverbial crap
and get to the nitty-gritty.
- (laughter)
- Hughes.
As Fritz told you, The Food Chain
is interested in acquiring Country Baby.
You've discovered an untapped market,
something we all know is tough to do.
However, we truly feel that you've taken
this thing just about as far as you can.
You work with an inexperienced staff in
a factory too small for your product load.
You're burdened with a severely
handicapped distribution apparatus.
What we'd like to do
is help you change all of that.
We'd like to see Country Baby
on every supermarket shelf in America.
- Mm-hm.
- JC, we all realise that...
...you may still be
harbouring some ill will.
In fact, Hughes suggested
we even bow out of these negotiations...
...but I assured him
you were a big girl now...
...and what happened between us
is water under the bridge.
Oh, well, it's water under the bridge
depending on how good your offer is.
I told you she'd play hardball!
I learned it from you, Fritz!
Well, thanks.
JC, shall we look at the proposal now?
The Food Chain will acquire
Country Baby Inc for $3 million, cash.
Mm-hm.
In order to take some day-to-day
responsibilities off your shoulders...
...we'd like to move your base to Cleveland
so our people can oversee production.
"Country Baby: Home-made
in Cleveland"? I don't think so.
That point is negotiable.
Naturally, we'd like to retain your services
as Chief Operating Officer...
...with a base salary of $350,000 a year...
...with a bonus tied into the company's
earnings of up to 150% of your salary.
Which means, young lady, that if
Country Baby performs as expected...
...you're looking at close to
$1 million a year in salary alone.
What is that banging?
Paragraph four:
...The Food Chain will purchase
an apartment for you of your choice.
Naturally, there are various perks:
...a six-week vacation, golden
parachute clause, pension plan...
...and, of course, use of the company jet.
- That's it?
- That's it.
Oh, my.
Well, Hughes, would you mind
if I take a few minutes to think this over?
No, I wouldn't mind at all. Please.
Oh, thank you.
Um... Oh, save my seat!
(laughter)
- I think it's in the bag.
- Hope. Hope so. Fine, fine.
What do you think?
Time for the champagne?
I'm back. Ha!
I'm back. Oh!
Yeah, I'm back.
That's right.
Oh, uh, sit down, please.
I think I'm gonna have to pass.
Excuse me?
My answer is no.
Well, which part "no"?
No $350,000 base? No bonus tie-in?
No to all of it, Fritz.
Country Baby's not for sale.
But this is a world-class deal. It'll make
you richer than you ever dreamed!
I'm sorry, Fritz. I think I'm gonna
have to stay right where I am.
Perhaps all that's happened between us
isn't water under the bridge.
Well, no. Maybe it isn't.
I mean, I was very excited
about this offer, but...
...I don't think I really thought
about what it meant.
And, you see...
...Im not the Tiger Lady any more.
I have a crib in my office and there's a
mobile over my desk and I really like that.
Fritz, do you remember that night...
...when you told me about the things
I was gonna have to give up...
...and the sacrifices I would have to make?
I don't wanna make those sacrifices, and
the bottom line is, nobody should have to.
No, I don't think this is gonna work out.
And I'll be honest with you,
I think I'm doing pretty good on my own.
If The Food Chain could put Country Baby
on every supermarket shelf in America...
...so can I.
I'm sorry.
I just think the rat race is gonna
have to survive with one less rat.
And anyway...
...I really think I'd miss
my 62 acres in Vermont.
I mean, Elizabeth is so happy there and...
And, well, you see,
there's this veterinarian that I'm seeing.
What did she say? She's a vegetarian?
- Do you realise what you're giving up?
- Yup.
There's nothing we can do
to change your mind?
Mmmm, nope.
- Hi. Is the doctor in?
- Sure, honey. Go on in.
Hi.
- Hi.
- You're back?
I am back!
- Well, how'd it go?
- It just wasn't that great a deal to me.
No? Didn't pan out?
No.
Too bad.
- Does this mean you'll be...
- What?
...hanging around Hadley?
- Yeah. Mm-hm.
So, if you're free tonight maybe you'd
like to come round and watch the farm.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
- I gotta get to bed kinda early.
- You do?
Oh, well, that's no problem.
Oh, hi. Sh, sh. Where is she?
(gasps)
Elizabeth.
Mama!
Hello.
What'd you do today? What'd you do?
What'd you do? Did you play?
Did you see your friends, did you?
Were you a good girl?
workforce is female.
Three generations of women that
turned 1,000 years of tradition on its ear.
As little girls they were told to grow up
and marry doctors and lawyers.
Instead they grew up
and became doctors and lawyers.
They moved out of the "pink ghetto"
and into the executive suite.
Sociologists say the new working woman
is a phenomenon of our time.
Take JC Wiatt, for example.
Graduated first in her class at Yale,
got her MBA at Harvard.
Has a corner office
at the corner of 58th and Park.
She works five to nine, makes six figures
a year, and they call her the Tiger Lady.
Married to her job, she lives with
an investment banker married to his.
They collect African art,
co-own their co-op...
... and have separate
but equal IRA accounts.
One would take it for granted
that a woman like this has it all.
One must never take
anything for granted.
No, no. Atlantic Overseas
isn't just having a slow quarter.
- They may not be flying to Newark soon.
- Don't you think...
Ken, a company can't lose $25 million
a quarter and expect to stay in business.
They gotta streamline the organisation,
reduce headquarters staff...
...and then we'll be able
to focus on the real soft spots.
- What?
- You're good.
You're just realising? Robin,
I need the flash report for my meeting.
- Got it.
- Good.
And the latest info on the IBC merger.
What's going on?
- Steven called. Is nine OK for dinner?
- Mm-hm.
Melniker called, said it was urgent. And I
need you to sign these. Legal needs them.
OK. Sheldrake moved up the deadline,
so don't make any weekend plans.
- This weekend?
- Is there a problem?
No, it's just that I have tickets
to the ballet that I've waited six months...
- No problem.
- Tell Steven nine is fine. Try Jams.
If they have no good tables, try elsewhere.
Ken, I need the P&Ls on Atlantic
Overseas. I also need the latest ZBBs.
Robin, I want you
to get me the CEO of IBC ASAP.
Miss Wiatt, Mr Curtis wants
to know if you're free for dinner.
Absolutely. Cancel Steven.
And good morning to you too, Miss Wiatt.
OK, the Montana lamb with
the rocket leaf and goat cheese salad.
And lime-grilled free-range chicken with
the pumpkin pasta and dandelion greens.
- Looks fabulous.
- Enjoy.
- I'm Phillip, if you need me.
- Thank you, Phillip.
Tell me, what do you know
about Hughes Larrabee?
He's the CEO of The Food Chain,
used to be the CEO of Avon.
He's a killer. Real smart, no bullshit.
- I've never met him. Why?
- He called. They wanna talk.
- I thought they were with McKinsey.
- They're shopping around.
I set up a lunch for you at the Pierre.
Oh, I would love to steal an account
from McKinsey. I would just love it.
- JC.
- Mm-hm.
- I think you're enormously talented.
- Fritz, are you leaving the company?
- No!
- Am I leaving the company?
- Christ, let me get it out!
- Sorry.
No.
I want you to become a partner.
Oh.
Oh, well...
...I accept. This is great, Fritz.
This is very exciting. Wow.
Of course I have to discuss it with Everett.
I hope he remembers me.
I only met him a few times.
You reel in The Food Chain,
he'll remember you. I promise.
Well...
Let me ask you something.
How many hours a week do you work?
I don't know. 70, 80.
Well, realise as a partner
the hours are only gonna get worse.
I never complain about these things.
You know me. I like work.
- Yeah, I know, OK.
- So you know that I...
- Just let me get this off my chest, OK?
- Sure.
- (knocking)
- Now...
What's that knocking?
Well, never mind. Look, you know that
normally I don't think of you as a woman.
But in this case, I do have to
look at you as a woman/partner.
I mean, what if you and Steven decide
to get married somewhere down the line?
- I mean, what if he expects a wife?
- Fritz, first of all... May I?
- Mm.
- Steven and I are not getting married.
We both eat, sleep and dream our work.
That's why we're together.
Fritz, I understand
what it takes to make it.
But do you understand the sacrifices
you're gonna have to make?
I mean, a man can be a success and still
have a personal life, a full personal life.
My wife is there whenever I need her.
I mean, she raises the kids,
she decorates, she...
Well, I don't know what the hell she does,
but she takes care of things.
I guess...
What I'm saying is, I'm lucky.
I can have it all.
Is that what you're worried about?
Forget it.
I don't want it all.
I don't.
- How about an Akita as a present?
- A dog?
- I thought you loved them.
- I love looking at 'em, but owning one?
You've got to feed it and walk it and we'd
have hair everywhere. What if it died?
- Jeez, it was just a thought.
- Well, it's a lovely thought. It's just...
Oh, you know me.
I'm not really great with living things.
I think you are.
- D'you wanna make love?
- Please. Really.
All right, it's coming off right now.
Oh, dear.
- Oh! Oh, Steven!
- Hm?
- Did you see this house?
- No.
- Listen to this. "62-acre Vermont estate."
- Mm-hm.
"Fruit orchard, swimming pond,
360 view of the mountains."
This is so great.
- Why do you keep saving those things?
- A lot of people have vacation homes.
Yeah, people who take vacations
have vacation homes.
Well, you never know.
I know you in Vermont without
a speakerphone would not be pretty.
- That's extremely funny(!)
- Mm-hm.
Oh, God, it even has a barn.
Do you wanna make love?
Do you?
Oh. OK, I guess you do, huh?
(JC clears throat)
Mmm.
Mm, that was incredible.
(phone)
Hello.
One moment, please.
- JC, it's for you.
- I'm in a meeting. Take a message.
- JC, it's the telephone. Come on.
- What?
- It sounds like overseas.
- Oh. Ohh...
Hello?
Mm-hm.
Yes.
Cousin Andrew? (chuckles)
No, I don't have a cousin Andrew.
Oh, wai... No, wait, wait, wait.
My mother's cousin's daughter's son?
Yeah, you're right. I do.
Really? (gasps) Oh?
Well... Hello? Are you there?
This is a very bad connection.
What happened?
Oh, wow, that's awful.
I'm sorry, I really... I'm terribly sorry!
I still can't hear you!
What about his will?
No, no, no, I heard that part.
I just didn't hear the part... Hello?
- What's going on?
- I didn't hear the part... My goodness.
A cousin of mine died with his wife
in some accident.
I met him once when I was little.
He lived in England.
But anyway, he left me something
cos I'm his only living relative.
- This could be big. Was he rich?
- Of course he was rich. My family?
Hello? Yes! Yes, I'm here.
Uh-huh. JFK tomorrow.
Mrs Atwood.
All right. What time?
Yeah, no, but... Wait! Wait, excuse me...
...but I still didn't hear what it was
you said he left me. Hello?
Yes, hello...?
Can you believe this?
(snores)
(sighs)
Flight 701 now arriving
from London at Gate 29.
- Miss Wiatt?
- Oh, yes. Mrs Atwood?
British Department of Health
and Social Security. Let's go over here.
Sure. Sure.
- I'm sorry about Andrew.
- Tragic. I didn't know them personally.
Oh, no, neither did I, but it was very awful.
I mean, you know, what happened, so...
I have a lunch meeting in 40 minutes so
if I could sign for whatever it is I inherited.
Certainly. I just need you
to sign one thing. There.
So... what is it? A million dollars?
I beg your pardon?
- What is it? What is it that I inherited?
- Why, Elizabeth, of course.
- What Elizabeth of course? I mean...
- Your cousin Andrew's Elizabeth.
Are you jo... are you joking?!
Didn't Mrs Simpson tell you?
What?!
What? Wait a minute now.
I... Are you telling me I inherited a baby
from a cousin I haven't seen since 1954?
No! No way, uh-uh. This isn't possible.
Sorry. I assumed you understood
the nature of my trip.
Well, that's the funny thing. I can't have
a baby as I have a 12.30 lunch meeting.
I'm sorry, I have to reboard. I'm
on my way to visit relatives in Florida.
Now, Elizabeth, this is your Aunt JC,
the one I was telling you about.
You're going to live with her now. She'll
take care of you and love you very much.
- Mrs Atwood...
- Here are her things in there...
...a copy of the Wiatts' will,
and Elizabeth's birth certificate.
- I'm not the right person for this.
- You're the only person, Miss Wiatt.
She's agreeable. Once you get the hang
of it, you'll be a wonderful mother.
I don't... I...
Mother?!
Oh! Oh, oh. Agh, agh...
Armand! No, just get... Yeah.
Now, careful, Armand.
Her diaper's just a little bit damp.
- (Elizabeth sneezes)
- Gesundheit.
- Would you mind?
- No, I don't mind. What?
Oh, yeah. There.
- Anything to check?
- Yes!
- No, no, no!
- Just for an hour. She's very agreeable.
- Hughes... JC Wiatt.
- Good to meet you.
Good to meet you. I'm so sorry I'm late.
Thank you. Would you like...
I see. You have something to drink.
I'll join you. Waiter, I would like
a glass of wine, the same as Mr Larrabee.
- Yes, ma'am.
- (crying)
So, how long you in diapers for?
In town for?
Just a day.
- I can't take too much of a good thing.
- (bawling)
That's very funny.
I wanted to tell you I was just so knocked
out when Fritz told me about your call.
- I've always been a huge fan of yours...
- Armand, what is going on?
Let me handle it. I'll find out.
Excuse me, Hughes, Armand.
Sh, sh, sh.
Look, miss. Miss! I'm in the middle of
a major meeting. Keep her quiet, OK?
- Look, if it's so easy, you try it!
- I don't know how to...
- (stops crying)
- She wanted her mama.
I am not her mother. By the way, she has
been through a traumatic experience...
...so a little compassion
would not be out of line, OK?
I will give you a very big tip.
I'll give you my Visa card.
Can you believe somebody
would actually bring a baby here?
- (crying)
- As I was saying...
...I'm intrigued by
the panache of The Food Chain.
- Tell me about you.
- Me, huh? Me.
Well, I... I... Oh, I just... I'm assigned
to all our Fortune 100 companies.
I personally handle
IBM, Xerox, DuPont, Polaroid...
- Excuse me?
...Texas Instruments, uh, uh...
...Atlantic Overseas...
- Yo!
- What?
- Your baby just barfed all over my boss.
This is not my baby! I... I went to Harvard
and Yale, and I don't have children.
She just... She's... She belongs...
Look, I'm gonna hold her for just a minute
but this is not going to affect me. Um, yes.
Let's see, who else do I handle?
I also handle Hewlett-Packard...
...um, Citicorp, Eastman Kodak. They
always ask for me. They love me there.
Oh, God. Oh!
Um, Luvs, here we go. Pampers.
God. Huggies Supertrim. OK, large.
23 pounds and over.
Hey! Medium...
...20. 12. 12 to 24 pounds...
...and newborns up to 14 pounds.
OK, so... You're not newborn, are you?
How much do you weigh anyway?
22... Oh, 22 pounds. OK.
Oh, my God.
There.
Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I need a drink.
OK. I'm leaving you for a few minutes,
so I'm trusting you not to touch anything.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
(key turning in lock)
JC!
I'm home!
Mm, great hunting boots.
Now if I only hunted.
- Hi!
- Argh!
- (Elizabeth screams)
- God! Whoa!
(crash/)
- What is this?
- A baby.
- What is it doing here?
- You know that pin I thought I inherited?
- Yes.
- Well, it wasn't a pin.
Ah, here it is. "We hereby request
that JC Wiatt act as guardian...
...to our only child, Elizabeth Wiatt."
- Mm-hm.
"If JC Wiatt is unable to act as guardian,
we leave it to her discretion...
...to find suitable adoptive parents."
Thank God you have an out clause!
- You do want the out clause?
- Of course! What do you think?
I thought I heard
your biological clock ticking.
Oh, Steven, please! Tomorrow I'll contact
whoever it is who finds adoptive parents...
...but in the meantime we'll make do.
Would you hold her?
- Oh, no, no.
- I can't...
- I never held a baby.
- Oh, I see. What, I have?
- Oh, God.
- Thank you very much.
Look, there is nothing
in the world to get uptight about.
We're two summa cum laudes. We can
handle one little baby for eight hours.
- (Steven humming)
- (JC) Mm. Yum.
Mm-hm. Thank you very much.
(Steven) It's linguini time.
I think you're gonna like this.
(JC) Here you go.
Bon apptit.
Great idea. Give her linguini. Wonderful.
Ugh! I think it would
be easier to just move.
What are you doing?
Spaghetti's dropping from the ceiling.
"Put between baby's legs, release tapes,
position over front of absorbent padding."
(sighs)
Now... Oh.
"Release the tapes."
There.
"Front of absorbent..."
Agh!
This is really fabulous.
"Position over front
of absorbent padding."
OK, I've got it!
Perfect!
(coos and laughs)
(Elizabeth) Agh!
(Elizabeth laughs)
- (Elizabeth cries)
- Yes, now the diaper... OK.
Oh.
Sit. Yes, now, there. Sit.
Play with it. Here.
Yes, you can play with that.
Fine. You're doing splendidly.
- Speed it up a little/
- (canned laughter)
A lot of them. There must be 30, 40.
26/
(applause)
Weinberger insisted he needs everything
he asked for to negotiate with the Soviets.
This opportunity to go over
the growing nature...
(crying drowns out speech)
Do you mind? I'm trying... JC, please.
- I don't know what to do.
- All right, I'll handle this.
- Stop crying, please. Stop. I'll pay you.
- Elizabeth, now listen.
It is 11.53 and it's time
for you to go to sleep.
It's late, we have a lot of work to do,
and we need some peace and quiet.
Elizabeth, grow up. I have a conference in
Boston tomorrow. I need to concentrate.
Now, lie down, close your eyes and
stop crying by the time I count to three.
Don't shake your head at me, Elizabeth.
I'm speaking to you. Are you ready?
One...
...two...
...two and a half...
...three.
- Worked.
- Good.
All right, now just kiss
Uncle Steven good night.
Ow! Jesus!
What? She just bit me!
(giggles)
I hope this doesn't appear like
I'm a terrible person for not keeping her.
- You forgot this page.
- Oh, thank you. Thanks. Goodness.
Anyway, her parents, I never really
knew them and I'm not the motherly type.
I didn't have brothers and sisters,
so I didn't baby-sit.
Plus I'm not... natural with kids.
I'm a management consultant
and I work 12 to 14 hours a day...
...and I just really feel that Elizabeth
needs a more equipped situation.
No explanations are necessary. I'm sure
we'll have no problems placing Elizabeth.
Don't feel guilty. You're not the first
to put a child up for adoption.
I understand that. I'm really
very comfortable with my decision.
And I... It's just...
Guilt's not a part of it.
Guilt's not a word in my vocabulary.
I mean, please, guilt?
Believe me, JC,
you made the right choice.
You're gonna be a partner.
Your career comes first.
Look at it this way: You got her all
these toys and $1,700 worth of clothes.
- That's not a bad haul, if you ask me.
- Thank you for your support, Jesus.
- Hey, no problem. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Put this over you like that...
...and...
(sneezes twice)
Well, gesundheit.
What? You're hot.
You're burning up!
Oh, let me see.
What did I do with that book?
Oh, no. Um, sneezing.
Let's see. Sneezing, sneezing...
171. Don't get sick. Just don't get sick.
One cold mist humidifier, one steam
vaporiser, one baby thermometer...
...one baby Tylenol, baby nose drops,
baby cough medicine and...
- Mm-hm.
...a bottle of Valium?
Oh, yeah. That's for me.
Oh, I ca...
Oh, I...
- Oh, boy. I gotta take this.
- (cries)
I know, I know. It's gonna be so fast.
I have to have this before I do this.
I know. Elizabeth, it's gonna be
such a cinch, OK? Here we go.
Now, try one more time. Here we go.
OK, good.
(phone)
(sighs)
Hello?
Oh. Oh.
Oh, uh-huh. Yes.
Yes, that's great. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Ten o'clock. OK. All right.
We'll be there. Right.
(woman) This is Mr and Mrs White.
Hi.
The Whites have been
anxious to meet Elizabeth.
Before we take her, I wanna hear from
you there's no chance of us gettin' a male.
The agency representative that came to
our motorhome said we might get a boy...
...so Father here wants to make sure
no stone's been left unturned.
We did try to locate a boy for you,
but there are none available at this time.
Well, then...
...she all right for you, Mother?
- Yes, sir.
- She got all of her shots and everything?
- Lord, Merle, it's not a puppy! (laughs)
I understand you bought
Elizabeth some new clothes.
- A couple of things.
- (sneezes)
She's just getting over a cold,
so I brought her medicine and...
Well, she takes a quarter
of a teaspoon every four hours...
...and I packed her spoon in
with her clothes and toys.
The clothes and toys won't be necessary.
Where are you folks from?
I mean, if I'm allowed to ask.
We'll be moving back
to Duluth next week.
Most of Merle's family is out that way now
and our pastor is out there an' all.
I'm sure Fern will like it just fine.
Fern?
We're naming her after Merle's mama.
Oh, hush, hush. Hush now.
- Well, maybe I should...
- I'll take care of formalities from here on.
You're free to go.
Oh, I am? Oh, well...
Bye-bye.
You... you take care.
Right.
Right.
(crying)
(bawling)
Just don't expect too much, OK?
OK?
I couldn't give her to a woman
who called her husband "Sir".
Her whole life flashed before me and
suddenly I saw in a Dairy Queen uniform.
- Oh, look, JC...
- Anyway, I can handle it. I really can.
A lot of working women do it:
Eleanor Roosevelt, Ethel Kennedy.
- Ethel Kennedy?
- OK, she doesn't work, but a lot do it.
You don't know what you're getting into.
You think my mom had a doctorate
in parenting? You learn.
You should see me diaper her now.
I am so brilliant at it.
I appreciate what you're going
through, I do, but for me, I just...
- Go ahead.
- I just...
You can be honest. You what?
I just...
- No?
- I can't.
OK.
- Do we have any women partners?
- One. In the Chicago office.
- Good morning, Mr Sloane.
- Right, right. The redhead.
Everett, it's down here.
The first office on the left.
I found it! Here you go.
Here you go, Miss. There it is.
Oh!
Oh, hello! Oh, hello.
- Everett, you remember JC, don't you?
- Of course. Everett, how do you do?
I thought you were in Washington.
Won't you please come right on in?
Yes. Sit down.
Um... (whispers) Charlotte?
Everett, why don't you sit down?
Oh, Everett, excuse me. So, so sorry.
If you could just scoot over. I'm sorry.
(gasps) Oh, my goodness.
I have a hair dryer in the closet.
- I'm fine.
- Perhaps a towel?
- No, I'm fine.
- Very sorry about that.
- When did she have a baby?
- This isn't JC's baby. It's her cousin's.
- She's just keeping it for a few days.
- Well, Fritz, as it turns out...
...I'm keeping her - excuse me -
I'm keeping her a little longer than that.
- How much longer?
- Oh, for ever.
Could I interest anybody in anything
to drink? 7 UP, Perrier... formula?
I hear you'd like to be a partner.
Oh, yes. I would love to be a partner.
It represents the kind of tenure that...
Oh, pardon me. Yes, thank you.
I'm so sorry, Everett.
It represents the kind of tenure
that I've always wanted.
Oh, I'm so, so sorry.
So, anyway, it does. Would you excuse us
for one moment? I'm sorry. Pardon me.
Charlotte! Charlotte.
Look, this is the single most
important moment in my entire career.
If you don't stick this bottle in your mouth
you'll be on the next Greyhound to Duluth.
Do you understand? OK? Now take it.
- (sighs) OK.
- Nice to see you again.
- You're leaving?
- Yes.
I wanted to discuss The Food Chain's new
entries in the food market. I have ideas...
- Good. I hope they buy it.
- They will. The Tiger Lady's on the case.
- Mm-hm.
- Yes.
I'm hiring a nanny tonight. She'll never
be here again. Nothing's going to change.
I need you to come with me to Cleveland
to talk to The Food Chain.
I'll be there.
I can still count on you
seven days a week, 48 hours a day?
I'm not gonna turn into Erma Bombeck!
I'm a maniac! You know that.
Yeah.
(doorbell)
Hi. I'm here for the nanny interview.
So why don't you tell me
a little bit about yourself?
- I'm originally from Wichita, Kansas.
- Oh. And what brought you to New York?
- The Lord.
- Uh-huh.
Well, thank you very much for coming by.
I've just graduated from Johns Hopkins...
...and I'm taking a year's sabbatical
before medical school.
Fabulous. And what
brought you to New York?
I came here to live with a guy,
but that didn't work out.
Then I suffered a nervous breakdown. You
see, my father tried to commit suicide...
...and when I came home
I found him at the bottom of the stairs.
My mother was drunk and
she accused me of trying to kill him.
So... what did you say
your baby's name was?
(German accent) I think you should know
from the start that I'm a full-charge nanny.
I don't argue... and
I do not like to be argued with.
I will teach your daughter to respect
a man. I speak only when spoken to.
I need no bed.
I prefer to sleep on the floor.
Well, I don't have any real
nanny experience, but I love kids...
...and I did a lot of baby-sitting
for people back home in Mandrake Falls.
You're hired.
- Elizabeth?
- Yes.
I am leaving for Cleveland now.
I will be back tonight, and tomorrow
we will spend quality time together.
Now, Eve, your new baby-sitter...
...is a very responsible person...
...and I feel very comfortable
leaving you with her.
I gotta go. Eve!
Good girl. Eve, you know
how to do everything, right?
- Don't worry. Everything is under control.
- Don't worry? Worry's my middle name.
- Really?
- Well, no. (stifles laughter with a cough)
- Now, you have my number at the office.
- Got it right here.
Good. And if you take her
to the park I want you to...
I know. "Take the Mace.
This isn't Mandrake Falls."
- Very good. Thank you, Eve.
- You're welcome.
Everybody knows The Food Chain
is one hell of an organisation.
Your managers are effective,
your workers motivated.
According to data, your margins
could be the highest in the industry.
20% growth, equity returns
in the high twenties. So...
...what's the problem? Why isn't The Food
Chain number one in the marketplace?
That's the question keeping me up at
night, then I realised the answer is simple.
- Miss Wiatt?
- Yes.
- Line two is for you.
- Well, I'm...
- They said it was important.
- Well, excuse me.
JC Wiatt.
Eve? Um, Eve, I'm in the middle of a very
important meeting, so what's going on?
(whispers) The nipples?
Did you look in the drawer
to the right of the sink?
Well, why don't you do that? And
make sure they're sterilised, OK?
No, no, no. Eve, don't put her on, please...
Hi, honey. Yes, I hear you. OK, OK.
Itsy-bitsy spider...
Good! Would you put Eve back on?
Eve! Eve, I gotta... I gotta go.
Oh... Oh...
Where was I?
Oh!
- Oh, hi, Miss Wiatt.
- Hi, Eve.
Um, you got a message today.
Uh-huh?
Mr Curtis called and he said
"Congratulations, you got the account."
Well, thank you, Eve.
Uh, what is going on?
Um...
...this is Wayne.
- Dwayne.
And we met in the park today
and he was just leaving.
Go with him.
So, Helga, tell me about yourself.
How's your social life?
Would you say it's active?
I have no outside interests other than my
sister in Wiesbaden, my music and books.
Oh, I see. So you're not
really involved. You have no...
- Never have.
- Oh.
So, Helga, you're gonna do
a three-mile walk every day?
- You sure that's not too much air?
- She will be fine.
Good. I've gotta run.
I've got an eight o'clock appointment.
Bye-bye, darling. Thank you, Helga.
Helga!
Helga! Pardon me, Helga!
Helga! Helga!
Helga, excuse me. I'm really sorry, but
I forgot there's just one very small detail.
Could I have your social security
number for tax reasons?
One, two, six, dash, four, two, dash,
four, two, seven, six.
Great. And your sister's name
in Wiesbaden, in case of emergency.
- And her prison record, if any.
- Excuse me?
Oh, I'm silly.
I mean her address, if you have it.
Dorte von Haupt,
Kungensensgadestrasse 13, Wiesbaden.
"Dauter van Haupt, van Wiesbaden." I'll
just write it phonetically. It doesn't matter.
Oh, jeez, I'm late. I'll get it later.
Oh, bye! Bye-bye, Elizabeth.
Bye-bye. Bye.
(honking and shouting)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... Really, I'm quite fine.
I'll see you... this evening!
Charlotte, take my coat, will you, please?
Oh! I gotta hurry, I know. I'm late. OK.
- Meeting's started.
- Thank you.
Oh, sorry! The problems of motherhood.
I had absolutely no idea.
- So, where are we?
- Have you seen that?
(buzzer)
JC, we were just buzzing you.
Come in for a sec.
Sure.
Oh. Hi.
Listen, I have good news.
I'm moving Kenny up.
Oh.
I think after three years under your
tutelage, he's ready, don't you think?
Sure. Absolutely.
Yeah. I want him to be your
first lieutenant on The Food Chain.
Well, he's already been helping me a lot.
Yeah, I want you to really involve him.
Larrabee wants to push up the deadline.
- I'll need you both full time.
- Oh, no. No, no.
- It's... great. I've got plenty for him to do.
- Thank you so much, JC. Really.
Uh, listen, I've got dinner with
Larrabee's people, so I gotta run.
- Again, thanks for this opportunity.
- That's all right.
Yeah, fine, yeah.
- Just congratulations.
- Oh, thank you, really.
Oh.
You were smart
to recruit that kid. He's good.
Yeah, he is great. He is really just great.
Oh, there you are. You forgot your
Teddy Ruxpin. The Puffalump is on order.
- The batteries are in the box.
- Thank you, Charlotte.
(Charlotte) Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
Good night. Have a good weekend.
Good night.
- Good night, Fritz.
- Good night.
What about a week from Wednesday
for junior symphony?
No, no, no. Nicole has drama
on Wednesdays. Uh-uh.
Ben's got playgroup
and French on Monday...
...Gymboree on Tuesday,
computer readiness on Thursday.
What about Friday,
after violin but before his shrink?
- Perfect.
- Crosby, go play in the sandbox. Here.
- (sighs)
- What is wrong with you? You look awful.
We heard from Dalton.
- Crosby didn't get in.
- (both) Oh, no.
I'm so upset.
Without the right preschool
she can't get the right kindergarten.
Without the right kindergarten, I can
forget any hope of an Ivy League college!
Honey, that is so devastating.
I just don't understand it.
Her rsum was perfect.
Her references were impeccable.
Dennis is gonna kill me.
Excuse me? I heard you
talking about preschools...
...and I was just wondering, what age
do they actually start? I forget.
Well, it depends. Two and a half, three.
Oh, yeah?
Are the good schools hard to get into?
Hard? Are you kidding?
I've had Alexis registered at the
Preschool for Performing Arts since birth.
He's already on the waiting list for Dalton.
- So if we're not on a waiting list by now...
- You can forget about it, honey.
Mom, doesn't the sky look just like
Czanne's Bay of Marseilles?
Gee, it does. Oh, Ben, that is
a terrific observation. Go play, honey.
You... They teach Czanne in preschool?
Well, no. Actually Ben
is a graduate of The Center.
- Oh, that's an idea for you.
- Really? The Center? What is that?
It's a week-long programme that teaches
you how to multiply a child's intelligence.
When we first went there,
Ben, he could barely speak.
By the time we left,
he was reciting The Raven.
What kind of classes
do you have your daughter in now?
Oh...
- None.
- Not even a Mommy & Me?
- No.
- Not Gymboree?
- Not reading readiness?
- Nothing! Child can't even hold a cup.
The other babies are way ahead of her.
I thought I had problems!
(man) Welcome to
The Center for Brighter Babies.
The point here, mums and dads,
is to teach your children the facts of life.
All they see and hear
can be stored and utilised.
Please allow no more than one second
per information card. You may... begin.
( "Everchanging Times")
(mothers in unison)
Republic of Botswana.
President Kennedy.
Door knob.
BMW.
Whoopi Goldberg.
I'm late for a meeting.
Just let me out here. I can run, OK?
Cos you guys didn't come in, I asked
you for all the research on Thursday.
When was it? When did I...? Oh! Sorry.
Whoa. Very sorry.
Where was I?
Caught in between
It comes back to
You and me, everchanging times
I gotta find me a better understanding
Every day I keep forgetting what's mine
I gotta find me a way less demanding
Tchaikovsky.
Great gray owl.
Shrimp sushi.
And I had some big ideas
So much of my life's still not completed
Hopes and fears
Watching them change
into something new
Wondering if
I'm going to find the answer
Loving you all of my life
It comes back to
You and me running out of time
I gotta find me a better understanding
Every day I keep forgetting what's mine
I gotta find me a way less demanding
And we're holding on so tight together
If we convince Larrabee that it's a rational
thing to do, which it is, he'll go for it.
Right? So you know what you do?
You put a shark repellent in the deal.
Hey, you know what, Rog?
Let me handle it, OK? Thank you.
Charlotte, can you get me
Elyse ASAP? Thank you.
JC, uh...
I thought you were taking the day off.
What brings you back so early?
- Fate, I think.
- Fate? (chuckles nervously)
- We had a breakfast meeting in here.
- Oh, you did?
- You just have so much more room.
- Big, isn't it?
- I'll be out in just a second.
- OK.
- Excuse me.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Ken, do you know anything about...
- Fritz. Hello.
Oh, you're here.
Listen, Larrabee's all over me about
that target list. Know when it'll be ready?
Oh, I'll have it on your desk
first thing in the morning.
- OK.
- Well, JC, actually I roughed out a draft...
...while you were at that baby thing.
D'you mind if I...?
No. No, not at all.
It wasn't due until tomorrow, but if you
have it done, I... think that that's great.
Oh, terrific.
- Good. Great.
- Great.
(buzzes)
Hey... Ken, this is my office.
- Yeah.
- All right?
OK. Yeah.
JC Wiatt.
- It's for you.
- Oh, great. Thank you.
Mama!
(babbles)
Oh, I see. You took
your diaper off again, didn't you?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
- (sneezes)
- I hope you're not catching a cold again.
You wanna sleep with me tonight?
You know, I sure could use the company.
Mary, would you have Robin see me
as soon as she gets in?
She's already here.
They had an early meeting.
Oh.
(chatter)
Oh, Robin? I need the flash report
in my office right away.
Uh, Ken said that we're going
to pass on the flash report from now on.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute now.
Since when is Ken calling the shots?
- Ken?
- Yeah.
I asked Robin for
Food Chain's flash report...
...and you've made a decision
I'm not aware of.
- We talked about this. The figures are...
- Robin, will you excuse us for a moment?
Thank you, Robin.
Their figures are on track for the year...
...and we feel it's counterproductive, so...
- The Food Chain is my account.
I decide what is and
what is not counterproductive!
- You're taking this personally.
- You bet! I'm your superior...
...and I will not be countermanded!
- OK.
Don't walk away from me! If it wasn't
for me, you'd be selling shirts at Barneys!
JC, can I see you for a minute?
Well, of course.
I'm sorry. I know I went over the top,
but this guy's getting out of control.
I know he's inexperienced and young,
but I can't use him any more.
- Pawn him off on somebody else.
- It's not that easy.
Sure it is. Give him to Joel or Ted.
They can use him, but...
- JC! JC.
...I can't use him any more.
I'm turning The Food Chain over to Ken.
No.
This account is too important
for us to take any risks.
Wait a minute. I mean, I...
We have this account because of me!
I know that, but you've changed, JC.
You've lost your concentration.
I don't know, you've gone... soft.
Fritz, a baby came into my life. It's taken
me a few weeks to adjust, but I'm back.
Look, I need a solid team on this thing,
and Larrabee feels comfortable with Ken.
No, I think it's for the best.
I'm putting you on
the Ferber Dog Chow account.
Oh. Well, I see...
I...
I thought that I was gonna be
a partner. That's what I thought.
Well, maybe next year
after things have... cooled down.
Oh, swallow your pride, JC.
Ferber's is a low-profile account. You'll
have more time to spend with the baby.
I told you, you can't have it all.
Nobody can. Not me, not anybody.
I don't even know my grandchildren...
...but I've got this company
grossing $200m a year!
Well, something has got to give!
You've been on the fast track a long time,
kiddo. It's OK to slow down.
Nobody's keeping score.
Fritz, I can't go out there now and say I'm
working on the Ferber Dog Chow account.
Well, I guess you're gonna
have to do what you have to do.
Let me see...
OK. OK.
Hello? Yes, I'm calling about
the 62-acre Vermont estate.
I was wondering, is it still for sale?
Uh-huh.
Honey, you know that big car
I bought yesterday?
Well, the reason I bought it is because
we're gonna go and live in the country.
Yes, we are. Here, look. See? See?
Yes. This is our house!
Can you believe it?
I just phoned the number and I bought it.
Honey, it's so exciting!
We actually own a house
with fruit orchards, a pond and a barn.
Elizabeth, it's going to be
a whole new life for us. Yup.
I'm going to learn to relax and sleep late,
bake apple pies, get into quilts.
I can't wait/ We're gonna be
just like the farmer in the dell.
A cow! Honey, look. Moo!
Over there. Moo, cow. Moo, cow.
- New York plates.
- Oh-oh.
Aaah! Aaah!
Hi! Hi!
We're gonna go. Yeah!
Damn!
Isn't this just fabulous?
I'm gonna rest for just a second.
I'm just a little bit out of shape.
This isn't exactly the rowing machine.
Oh, no, the oars.
Oh, no. Oh, God, I need those.
Don't worry, don't panic.
I can handle this. Everything's fine.
Help!
I think that should be enough for a pie.
(babbles contentedly)
And then the prince
kissed Sleeping Beauty...
...she woke up and looked into the prince's
eyes, and you know what she said?
She said "Thank you for waking me,
Prince, because I overslept...
...and I have medical school today and I'm
going to be an important doctor one day...
...like all women can be."
And then... you know what they did?
They made a date to meet each other
after her graduation.
And you know what?
It's a little bit chilly in here.
Let's go see what the radiator's doing.
Let's see what the radiator's doing.
It's cold. Huh? Huh?
See? Here. Here.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Them pipes is corroded, Miss. There's
no way I can get this system going.
(squawking)
- It's a bad break. Gonna be a cold winter.
- Yeah? How do you know?
Well, you see them birds?
They're gullywillows. When they flap
like that it means a big snow's coming.
- I better call the newspaper.
- Wait. Mr Boone, are you saying...
...there's no way of saving this system?
- Uh, yup.
- Do you know how much it's gonna cost?
- Uh, nope.
Uh-huh. Do you know the ballpark?
Well, somewhere in
the neighbourhood of $7-8,000.
- What? Are you sure?
- Yup.
Uh, Mr Boone.
One more question.
Are you the only plumber in town?
Uh, yup.
God!
(spits)
So...
So, how's the roof?
You've seen worse, right?
Uh, nope.
What are you saying?
I need a whole new roof?
Uh, yup.
(phone)
(JC) Hello?
Elyse?
Oh, hi! It's so good to hear your voice.
Oh, I'm fine. Really.
I've never been happier.
Um, right now? Well, actually
I'm making baby apple sauce.
No, it's not from jars.
No, it's from real apples.
I told you about my orchards, right?
Well, I invented this recipe for Elizabeth...
...and, you know, I mean
she really loves it and, well, it...
It gives me something to do
while it snows.
So tell me, what's going on in New York?
Oh, hectic. Oh, right.
You did? Ha!
You mean you got the big corner office?
We're talking about the big, big one?
Oh, well, I mean, congratulations.
Oh, yeah.
You did?
It was, huh?
Well, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like fun if you're into
that New York kind of nightlife, sure.
Really? You did?
Oh.
Yeah. Where'd you meet him?
(radio) I'll never
Smile again
Until I smile at you
I'll never laugh...
Give me Waterman at Atlantic Overseas.
(sighs) I'm pathetic.
(DJ) This is the Night Owl
on WHD Y, Hadleyville...
... signing off and wishing you
a pleasant tomorrow.
And it's gonna be a nice one.
Only 17 below. Enjoy it.
No!
(Mr Boone) Uh-oh.
- Your well's dried up.
- Oh. Oh, God, that's good.
I thought it was serious. We can just fill
it up because there's a hose around back.
(Mr Boone chuckles)
- Fill it... fill it up?!
- What?
Fill it up?
Lady, you're... you're out of water. You're
gonna have to tap into the county line.
- (groans)
- And that's three miles down the road.
I am almost out of money, Mr Boone.
I don't understand these technicalities.
Just tell me one thing, OK?
Is this going to be expensive?
Yup.
Do you know approximately
how much this is gonna cost me?
- Nope.
- No. Right. Well, just guess!
Uh, $5,000, $6,000. Maybe more.
Oh, well, that's just fine. That's it!
I've had it! I can't make it here, OK?
I mean, I am not...
I am not Paul Bunyan, all right?
I went to Harvard.
I graduated at the top of my class.
For what? To spend my life
fixing up this dilapidated shack?!
Well, you can just forget it
because I am gonna get outta here.
You see, I need to work.
I need people, I need a social life.
I need sex!
P-p-p-please, I'm a married man.
(sobs) I'm gonna shrivel up and die here!
I mean, how much baby food is a person
supposed to make in their lifetime?
I am a career woman. I am used to
having phone lists and dinner meetings.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Uh, nope.
(screams) No?! I have been "yupped"
and "noped" to death by you guys.
I have had it with whiskers and plaids!
Look at me. I am going nuts!
I used to be... cute.
I am not prepared for wells that run dry.
I just wanna turn on the faucet
and have water!
I don't wanna know
where it's coming from!
Argh! Another six thousand!
- Argh!
- Oh.
Hi.
I'm Doctor Cooper.
You passed out and Mr Boone
brought you here to my office.
- You OK?
- Yeah. Where's the baby?
- Oh, she's fine. She's with my nurse.
- Oh.
- I fainted?
- Yeah.
Really? I did?
Oh, I've never fainted before, Doctor.
Is there any chance
you might be expecting, Mrs Wiatt?
No. There's absolutely
no chance of that, Doctor.
Zero chance of that. Less than zero.
Well, it's OK.
You can talk about it if you want.
No, I can't.
- I can't talk about it!
- Wait...
Here you are. Here.
Don't get upset. It's just...
Oh, Doctor!
You thought that I...
you thought that I was pregnant?
- Well...
- Fat chance.
But, you see... but that's not
why I'm crying, you know, because...
...I haven't had any...
I haven't had any, you know...
...sex.
It's getting that I can hardly say the word
and I was never that into it...
...but when it's gone and you have no
prospects of it in the future, it's upsetting.
I... I hope you don't mind
my talking to you like this and all.
No. No. Just... just... just relax.
I don't know how to relax.
It's not in my nature.
You know, I mean,
I moved here from New York...
...foolishly thinking that
the country would be good for me.
I thought that...
I needed to slow down and...
I wanted to...
I wanted to, um...
...I wanted to think and
I wanted to put things into perspective...
...but now I just wanna go home.
I am broke, I have nothing but
this 200-year-old house that I hate.
I just...
I'm so...
I'm so lonely, Doctor.
- I'm so lonely!
- It's OK.
(neighing)
- What is that? What's that?
- That's my next patient.
- What do you mean?
- I'm a vet.
- Hi, Jo.
- You're a what?!
- I'm a veterinarian.
- I'm spilling my guts out to a vet!
I'm lying on a vet's table telling you about
my sex life! Do I have horse hair on me?!
- I thought you knew.
- Based on what? What?
You're wearing a white jacket.
You've got diplomas and a stethoscope.
- Relax. I wasn't gonna put you to sleep.
- What's that supposed to be, vet humour?
Dr Cooper, I think it's unethical of you
to allow an emotionally unglued woman...
...to sit here and think you're a real doctor!
I think I should report you to the AMA
or the AVA or the VMA or whatever...
(screams and gasps)
Now, look, may I please have my coat
before your next patient eats it?
- Here.
- I'll sell my house, go back to civilisation.
I'll get myself a nice little apartment,
watch HBO and have a real life again!
Oh...
- Reckon she'll be able to sell the place?
- Not likely.
Place was for sale for five years.
She was their only nibble.
Five years and I was the only nibble?
If I can't sell the house, I can't afford
to move back to New York. I know, honey.
- We'll do the best we can, dear.
- No. Five years and I'm the only nibble?
(sighs)
- Almost too pretty to eat.
- I got carried away during the last storm.
The twins loved the last batch,
and they don't eat nothing out of a jar.
- Ugh!
- What?
(clears throat) Oh, dear. I got some
of this aspirin stuck in my throat.
- Could I have just a piece of bread or...?
- Oh, yeah, sure. Some white bread.
- Oh, my God!
- Just try this.
Oh. Oh.
(mutters) If I could just...
- Excuse me?
- Hm?
Are you feeling all right?
I heard about your collapse
over at the town meeting.
Dr Cooper's nurse
is also our mayor, you know.
I didn't know that.
So I'm the talk of the town?
- Well, so to speak.
- Well, that's very comforting to hear.
- Listen, Sam, I could use a few things.
- Mm-hm.
A half a gallon of milk, two bottles of
apple juice, a box of Hamburger Helper...
...and, um, two dozen cans
of that kerosene.
Yeah, I'm working on
a small project at home.
- (bell rings)
- (chatter)
- I wanna get back to the pottery place.
- Isn't this place cute?
- The whole state is cute.
- Yale, did you lock the car?
Yes, honey, I locked it.
- Do we have enough maple syrup?
- Get a couple more.
- Oh, honey, look at these! For Lindsey?
- Those are great.
Oh, look at this.
Does this look good on me?
- Well, what are you going for?
- A turtleneck, Sundays reading the paper.
What, no good? They're $12.
You don't need a $12 shirt.
Get a Ralph Lauren.
Gail, look at this! Gourmet baby food!
- I've never seen this before.
- Fabulous idea. How much are they?
- Oh, $3.50 a jar.
- Cheap.
- Well, $4.50. I mean they're $5.50 a jar.
- Great packaging concept.
- This is unique.
- That means the way it's designed.
Oh, really? You learn something
new every day, don't you?
We'll take a dozen. And how are you...
...you cute little country baby?
- We'll take a dozen, too.
I can't believe nobody's come up with
this before. Gourmet baby food. Fabulous.
- Great Christmas gift.
- (JC gasps) Great!
God, it's the greatest
Christmas present. It is.
- Honey, maybe we ought to get more.
- We should.
We, too.
I'd like to see everything you have on new
consumerism, baby food manufacturers.
Also, recent issues of Progressive Grocer
and American Demographics.
(clears throat)
Look, I know we saw each other
so it'd be stupid for me to ignore you.
No. No, really, it wouldn't. Please
ignore me. You have my permission.
- (chuckles)
- Yeah.
There's something about you
that's kinda... hard to ignore, you know?
Uh-huh.
- What are you doing here, anyway?
- I'm just doing a little bit of research.
- Can I help you with that?
- No, no, you can't, really. You cannot.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were a vet.
- Hi, Doctor Cooper.
- Hiya, Stacy.
I teach a class here once a week.
Aren't you supposed to be
headed back to civilisation?
Oh, I'm working on it, believe me.
- What?
- Nothing.
I was just wondering if maybe
you wanted to go have a cup of coffee.
I don't drink coffee.
Anyway, I thought you asked in a way...
...that sounded like you weren't asking,
so I just think forget it. Just forget it.
Shit.
I can't believe this.
Um, are you this nervous
around all men, or is it just me?
(thud)
Oh, no.
"Place the jack tongue..." - Oh, God -
"...in the slot in the bumper."
OK. OK.
All right, now I got this bumper.
I'm positioning this tongue in the slot...
Oh! Oh, no.
- You need some help?
- Everything is under control.
Thank you very much.
- Here, wait, wait...
- I've got it. I've got it just fine.
It's gotta go in the slot. Here.
- Oh.
- There you go.
Yes, well, I guess I'm just... I guess I'm
just not used to this kind of jack, that's all.
Right.
You know, uh, you kind of remind me
of a bull terrier sometimes.
Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.
You do. You're feisty and quarrelsome...
...and hard to get along with.
- (laughs)
Even a bull terrier,
once they warm up to you, they...
They what?
They bring you your slippers?
- There.
- There, you got it.
Now... I'm just going to...
...loosen the lug nuts.
These are... The lug nuts are right there.
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
Is there something I've done to you
that I don't know about?
Right. Right. You don't know that
I've been completely humiliated.
Why? Because you told me
you hadn't had sex for over a year?
It has not been over a year. Where
did you hear that, at the town meeting?
- There's nothing to be ashamed of.
- I'm not ashamed!
I just really choose not to talk
about this any further. There!
If a man knows your frailties, it doesn't
necessarily mean that he's your enemy.
- I mean, I like frailties. I like women.
- Ugh.
- So you're under control here?
- Yes, I'm fine.
You and me are probably the only two
people under 60 in Hadleyville County...
...so we might as well make the best of it.
I appreciate you taking time to chat, but
I'm not in the mood for idle conversation.
So if it should happen again, I think we
should both try to ignore each other...
...cos I'm not one of your students who's
gonna faint every time you say hello.
I am a tough, cold career woman...
...who has absolutely nothing in common
with a veterinarian from Hadleyville.
All I have on my mind at this point in my
life is to get out of this moth-eaten town...
...and nothing here,
including you, Doctor Charm...
...holds any interest for me whatsoever.
So what do you think about that?
See you around.
Wow.
We don't sell baby food.
But this is unlike any baby food you've
tasted. It's all natural. It's home-made.
We don't sell baby food.
Right.
Now, ladies,
I'm telling you honestly, trust me.
I swear this is the greatest stuff ever.
Honest. Are you gonna try it?
I'm going to show you something
you're not going to believe.
Here you go. You want this? You
wanna take it and put it in your mouth?
(woman) I like it. I love it.
Let me get this straight. You want the
Country Baby peas, corn and bananas.
- Why don't I send you my catalogue?
- Great.
Elizabeth, that's right!
- Morning, JC.
- Morning.
- We'll send that right out, Mayor.
- Thanks, Mary.
Oh, excuse me, Mayor.
Aren't you Doctor Cooper's nurse?
- Yes, I am. How are you feeling?
- I'm fine. How's Doctor Cooper?
- Oh, he's fine.
- Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.
I was thinking about him the other day,
and it's good to hear that he's pretty fine.
Well, he had a pretty bad cold,
but he's much better now.
- Just has a bit of a cough.
- Well, tell him I said hi. No, forget it.
- (coughs)
- Oh, my goodness.
Well, I'll see you later, Doctor.
Hi.
- Oh, are you taking something for that...?
- Oh, yeah, I think I got it under control.
That's good. I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah...
So, I hear your business
is really taking off.
It's unbelievable.
We have our products in a catalogue.
- Do you?
- That's right. And I'm doing very good.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
You're still moving back to New York?
- Oh, yeah. First chance I get.
- Hm. Hm.
Huh. Um, yuh.
- Well, it's good to see ya.
- Oh, isn't that something?
It's good to see you, too.
- Take care.
- Um, yeah. Yeah. Take care.
- There it goes! Great!
- You're big-time now!
It looks good. I love it!
(jazz music)
- JC. JC.
- Hi. Oh, Katie, how are ya?
- I'm good. I'm good. This is Ben.
- Hi. I knew it was Ben. I knew it.
Hi, Annie. Did you see Elizabeth?
Does she look cute tonight?
You wanna dance, huh?
- Hello.
- And how are you doing?
Hi.
I didn't know
you were a music aficionado.
I never miss a concert
my plumber plays in.
- He's pretty good, isn't he?
- Yeah, he's very good. Yeah.
Oh, so this is the famous
Country Baby baby?
This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
- I know.
- Well, you look good.
- Well, thanks.
So do you. Um, I like your shirt.
- Do you?
- Yeah.
- You want a... Oh, you don't drink coffee.
- But I drink other things.
- You do?
- Yeah.
7 UP and root beer, iced tea and water.
I drink, uh... punch.
Punch. Well, let's have some punch.
Oh!
We're gonna slow things
down now a bit, folks...
...so if you wanna take hold of your
favourite partner, now'd be a good time.
One, two, three...
Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves of sycamore
- Moonlight in Vermont
- (crowd gasps)
- Wanna dance? Would you like to dance?
- I would. I'd love to dance...
...but what do I do with the chatterbox?
- I'll hold her for you.
- Will you really, Mayor? Thanks.
OK, I'll be back. I'll be back.
- Oh, quick.
- OK.
By the way, I don't really
slow-dance all that well.
So do you still wanna do this?
Well, come on, let's give it a whirl.
- Hi. Is she asleep?
- Oh, yeah, she's really out.
Um, I think I have
a bottle of wine in here somewhere.
- This is a short house.
- Oh!
It's in the refrigerator.
Oh, you know, um... I know what. I'm...
- I'm gonna get us some glasses.
- OK.
Hey, you've stocked up, huh?
Oh, I know. I'm always
experimenting with new recipes.
I wonder if maybe I could interest you
in something like some strained zucchini?
- Hm. Maybe later.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah. This is it. Here it is.
No?
No? No, oh, no, no... No.
- Yes?
- Yeah. It's, no, it's just... Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
You're not getting cold, are you?
Mm-mm.
- You know something?
- Hm?
Remember that night in the library...
...when you asked me if all men
made me nervous, or if it was just... you?
- Yeah.
- You know what my answer is?
What?
- I think that all men make me nervous.
- Yeah.
Except you.
(whispers) What?
(JC) Moonlight in Vermont
La, da, da
Oh! In the wintertime
Moonlight
In Vermont
Oh, people... Yeah.
The sun trails by
(giggles and mumbles)
(he whistles "Moonlight in Vermont")
Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
- You tired?
Well, I usually require
more than 20 minutes' sleep a night.
Oh. Ha!
Hi.
- Daddy!
- What are you doing up?
- Dada!
- (both laugh)
No, no, no.
This is not Dada. No!
I think she's at that age where
she confuses "man" with "Dada".
Hm.
- (phone)
- Oh. OK.
Let's sit here, honey.
No, I've got to answer the phone. Hello?
Fritz?
Well... well, hello. Hi.
Well, I'm fine. How are you?
Oh, well, thank you. Thanks.
Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
They do? Really?
They are? Well... well, yes, of course,
I would love to talk to him.
Um...
Absolutely. Sure. That'd be great. I...
This afternoon would be fine. Just fine.
OK, Fritz. OK.
OK. Bye-bye.
You... I can't...
The Food Chain
wants to buy Country Baby.
Is it for sale?
Well, I don't know. I...
I don't know, but the thought of
going back to New York as a hit is wow!
I mean...
...we're talking major big.
This is... big, you know.
Hm.
So I guess this means you won't be free
for bingo tonight down at the fire station?
Um...
...can I call you later?
Sure. I'll be here.
(phone)
Sloane, Curtis and Company.
Will you hold, please?
May I help you?
- Miss Wiatt.
- Hi.
- You look wonderful.
- Thank you very much.
- Tell Mr Curtis I'm here.
- They're in the conference room.
- Good. OK.
- Miss Wiatt is on her way.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hello, Miss Wiatt.
- Hello, Ellen.
- JC, good to see you.
- Thank you.
- Where's the little one?
- At home.
- Oh, too bad. Come in. We're all waiting.
- Thank you.
- You remember Hughes Larrabee.
- Hughes.
- Thank you for coming.
- Good to see you.
- And Fritz.
- JC, welcome back.
- Thanks.
- Shall we?
You look terrific.
First of all, JC, on behalf of all of us,
I want to congratulate you...
...on a great, great success.
- Thank you.
Usually in a meeting of this nature
we have to take the client by the hand...
...and lead him through the negotiations.
But in this case, we know we're
dealing with a savvy businesswoman.
So we'll cut through the proverbial crap
and get to the nitty-gritty.
- (laughter)
- Hughes.
As Fritz told you, The Food Chain
is interested in acquiring Country Baby.
You've discovered an untapped market,
something we all know is tough to do.
However, we truly feel that you've taken
this thing just about as far as you can.
You work with an inexperienced staff in
a factory too small for your product load.
You're burdened with a severely
handicapped distribution apparatus.
What we'd like to do
is help you change all of that.
We'd like to see Country Baby
on every supermarket shelf in America.
- Mm-hm.
- JC, we all realise that...
...you may still be
harbouring some ill will.
In fact, Hughes suggested
we even bow out of these negotiations...
...but I assured him
you were a big girl now...
...and what happened between us
is water under the bridge.
Oh, well, it's water under the bridge
depending on how good your offer is.
I told you she'd play hardball!
I learned it from you, Fritz!
Well, thanks.
JC, shall we look at the proposal now?
The Food Chain will acquire
Country Baby Inc for $3 million, cash.
Mm-hm.
In order to take some day-to-day
responsibilities off your shoulders...
...we'd like to move your base to Cleveland
so our people can oversee production.
"Country Baby: Home-made
in Cleveland"? I don't think so.
That point is negotiable.
Naturally, we'd like to retain your services
as Chief Operating Officer...
...with a base salary of $350,000 a year...
...with a bonus tied into the company's
earnings of up to 150% of your salary.
Which means, young lady, that if
Country Baby performs as expected...
...you're looking at close to
$1 million a year in salary alone.
What is that banging?
Paragraph four:
...The Food Chain will purchase
an apartment for you of your choice.
Naturally, there are various perks:
...a six-week vacation, golden
parachute clause, pension plan...
...and, of course, use of the company jet.
- That's it?
- That's it.
Oh, my.
Well, Hughes, would you mind
if I take a few minutes to think this over?
No, I wouldn't mind at all. Please.
Oh, thank you.
Um... Oh, save my seat!
(laughter)
- I think it's in the bag.
- Hope. Hope so. Fine, fine.
What do you think?
Time for the champagne?
I'm back. Ha!
I'm back. Oh!
Yeah, I'm back.
That's right.
Oh, uh, sit down, please.
I think I'm gonna have to pass.
Excuse me?
My answer is no.
Well, which part "no"?
No $350,000 base? No bonus tie-in?
No to all of it, Fritz.
Country Baby's not for sale.
But this is a world-class deal. It'll make
you richer than you ever dreamed!
I'm sorry, Fritz. I think I'm gonna
have to stay right where I am.
Perhaps all that's happened between us
isn't water under the bridge.
Well, no. Maybe it isn't.
I mean, I was very excited
about this offer, but...
...I don't think I really thought
about what it meant.
And, you see...
...Im not the Tiger Lady any more.
I have a crib in my office and there's a
mobile over my desk and I really like that.
Fritz, do you remember that night...
...when you told me about the things
I was gonna have to give up...
...and the sacrifices I would have to make?
I don't wanna make those sacrifices, and
the bottom line is, nobody should have to.
No, I don't think this is gonna work out.
And I'll be honest with you,
I think I'm doing pretty good on my own.
If The Food Chain could put Country Baby
on every supermarket shelf in America...
...so can I.
I'm sorry.
I just think the rat race is gonna
have to survive with one less rat.
And anyway...
...I really think I'd miss
my 62 acres in Vermont.
I mean, Elizabeth is so happy there and...
And, well, you see,
there's this veterinarian that I'm seeing.
What did she say? She's a vegetarian?
- Do you realise what you're giving up?
- Yup.
There's nothing we can do
to change your mind?
Mmmm, nope.
- Hi. Is the doctor in?
- Sure, honey. Go on in.
Hi.
- Hi.
- You're back?
I am back!
- Well, how'd it go?
- It just wasn't that great a deal to me.
No? Didn't pan out?
No.
Too bad.
- Does this mean you'll be...
- What?
...hanging around Hadley?
- Yeah. Mm-hm.
So, if you're free tonight maybe you'd
like to come round and watch the farm.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
- I gotta get to bed kinda early.
- You do?
Oh, well, that's no problem.
Oh, hi. Sh, sh. Where is she?
(gasps)
Elizabeth.
Mama!
Hello.
What'd you do today? What'd you do?
What'd you do? Did you play?
Did you see your friends, did you?
Were you a good girl?