Babysitters Beware (2009) Movie Script
(Barking)
(Barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Whining)
Shut up, flea bag.
Papa's listening to music.
(Sighing)
(Muffled)
Mom, Dad's home!
Dad, are you ready?
Danny!
What's new, kidderoo?
Hi, Janelle.
Client dinner?
Uh, betcha two bucks.
Hey, buddy. Got to run.
Mom and I have a client dinner.
Oh, sorry.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, Danny,
I forgot to tell you.
I have to go with your dad
to a client dinner tonight.
I'm really sorry,
sweetheart.
You guys go out
every night.
When do we get to
practice baseball?
I know it's a lot, Danny.
I'd rather be hanging out with
you, but I've got a job to do.
Hey, you know,
that's okay.
We're going to have
tons of fun.
Aren't we, Danny?
Sure.
Hey, how about tomorrow after
work, you, me, and a baseball?
No excuses!
No excuses!
No excuses!
Deal.
Um, deal.
Hey, thanks for being
such a good kid.
I don't know what we'd do
if you weren't.
Hey, do you want to go up
and play with Iggy?
No. Your iguana
scares the poop out of me.
DAD:
Maybe Janelle
could practice with you.
Oh, that sounds fun.
Not!
Not!
(Dog barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
Nice catch.
I'm going to have to sit for you
for free for a month
to pay for
all these flower pots.
Geez.
Nice throw, kidderoo.
(Pot breaking)
(Pot breaking)
My dad's
a lot better than you,
so is my friend Marco,
and his older sister.
Thanks for
the tough love, pal.
Try-outs are coming up.
I want a better position.
Oh, yeah?
What'd you play last year?
Pitcher.
Oh, pitcher's good,
isn't it?
Not in T-ball.
In T-ball,
the pitcher's just standing
in the middle of the diamond,
scratching his butt.
This year is real baseball.
I want to be on first base.
(Barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
All right, well,
let's see what you got.
(Baseball organ music)
(Pot breaking)
I'm going to get stuck
in Little Tykes league.
It's not fair. Why does Dad
have to go out every night?
I never get to see him.
Well, parents
have to work.
At least you got me.
But I try to be good.
That doesn't have
anything to do with it.
You're a good kid, Danny.
Maybe too good.
You gotta try
a little trouble sometimes.
(Dog barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog Whimpering)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog Whimpering)
Hey, you know
what would be fun?
What would be fun?
(Barking)
(Barking)
(Barking)
(Barking)
Shut up, fleabag.
(Electricity fizzling)
(Yelling)
That was a close one.
(Yelling)
Go get it.
Go get it.
Lousy watchdog.
(Yelling)
Darn kids.
I hate kids!
So do you think
we hurt Mr. Willowsbag?
Ah, no more than he hurts
his dog 500 times a day.
"Humane training device."
See, we were
just training him.
To be nicer to his dog?
Exactly.
You're a good kid, Danny.
Probably the best kid
I sit for.
A little mischief once
in a while never hurt anybody.
Well,
maybe Mr. Willowsbag.
(Electricity fizzling)
(Yelling)
(Laughing)
(Door unlocking)
I hope
you like chocolate.
How was he?
Oh, so adorable.
There was--
There was leftover pizza, and
he wanted to call the food bank
and see if they needed it.
It was so cute.
Thank you so much,
Janelle.
Don't know
what we'd do without you.
What?
Uh, I'm taking
an SAT prep class,
so I'm not going
to be able to sit
for the next couple
of weeks.
Wow.
Danny is really
going to miss you.
Ohh.
Seems like the only time
I see him anymore,
he's already asleep.
(Whispering)
That smile is so cute.
Yeah.
(Whispering)
Come on, let's go.
So did they
ever catch you?
Not yet. I think
he thinks the dog did it.
Too slow.
Can't throw.
Girl.
Hits like a girl.
You hit like a girl.
Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?
Put two of you together,
and you make one player.
One really sucky player.
Mouth Breather.
Special Ed.
You smell,
but at least you can play.
Right field.
Sweet, dude.
We're gonna kick their butts.
What a jerk.
I hear Snook's been held back
every grade since kindergarten.
You.
How do you get held back
in kindergarten?
You know, I've been thinking
about your babysitter problem.
There's only
one solution.
You have to get on
the no-sit list.
What's the no-sit list?
My cousin
told me about it.
If you're bad enough,
no babysitter will take you.
They'll put you on the list.
Then your parents
will have to stay home.
No way.
Absolutely!
But you have to be
really bad.
High five, dude.
We're gonna win.
I bet you
Snook's on the list.
Right on the top.
(Laughing)
Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?
Well, I got a position
for you guys:
left out.
No way.
I'm playing.
I'll tell you what.
If you can throw it
hard enough to hurt,
yeah, I'll let you play.
Otherwise, hit the road.
Hard enough to hurt?
That's right.
That was
hard enough to hurt.
Uh-oh. Run!
KID:
Put CPR on him!
You're dead!
You better run.
Get him!
Run!
SNOOK:
Come on guys, get him!
I just don't think I can be
bad enough to get on the list.
Being bad
makes me feel gross,
like P.E.
or sitting next to a girl.
You don't have to be bad
all the time,
just for babysitters.
Yeah, but
what about Santa?
Easy. Just be bad enough
to get on the no-sit list,
then do a bunch
of good stuff in December
so you make
Santa's cut-off.
I'm not gonna risk it.
I'm gonna
stick with being good.
Hey, you wanna
come in?
I'll show you the decorations
for my birthday party.
It's gonna be awesome.
I better get home.
My dad's coming home early.
Just me,
him and baseball.
No excuses.
(Door opening)
Hey, buddy.
How was your day?
Great, now!
Let's go!
Hold on, Danny.
Come on, Dad.
You, me and a baseball.
No excuses?
I got some bad news
at work today.
Your mom and I
have to have a dinner meeting.
No excuses.
You shook.
It's work, Danny.
If it's work, how come
you're going to a restaurant?
When you're grown up,
you'll understand.
Now, be a good boy and
get ready for the babysitter.
At least I'll have fun
with Janelle.
About that.
Janelle
had another commitment.
So who's babysitting?
You remember Miss Greene?
DANNY:
She's the worst.
There are worse babysitters,
Danny. Believe me.
She doesn't let me watch TV, use
the internet, play videogames.
I'm sorry, buddy. She's all
we've got on short notice.
But I really appreciate
you being such a good sport.
(Jingling)
Can I watch TV?
Just the mention of television
misaligns my chakras.
Videogame?
Too violent.
Internet?
Predators.
Listen to my mom's iPod?
Ruins your ears.
Radio?
No.
Why?
Electronic sounds
frazzle my nerves.
I could sing for you.
How about a nice
Apache burial song?
(Singing)
Uh, no thanks.
Oh, all right.
Probably a good idea.
We don't want
to summon the spirits.
We'll just sit here
and enjoy the quiet.
Would you like to do something
that's really fun?
Sure!
Oh, dear.
Well, you can share
my macram project with me.
How's your
prune smoothie, dear?
It's organic.
I need
to go to the bathroom.
Yes, well,
that's the idea, dear.
Don't take too long.
You don't wanna miss out
on your macram project.
Hey, Marco.
What are you doing?
Wii Sports.
It's just like real sports,
but I can actually
hit the ball.
Wait. Aren't you supposed to
be practicing with your dad?
He's out with a client
and I'm stuck with Miss Greene.
No way. How are you able
to video chat?
She makes me read
Watership Down by candlelight.
I said I needed to go
to the bathroom.
Organic prune smoothie?
Yeah.
She won't miss you
for about an hour.
My dad promised,
and he went out anyway.
I'm telling you, the no-sit
list is your only hope.
I don't think
I can be that bad.
Do you wanna be
stuck with babysitters
for the rest
of your life?
Okay, I'm gonna do it.
It's time to be bad.
(Loud rock music playing)
(Static hissing)
(Yelling)
Television! Television!
Hold on a minute.
(Siren Blaring)
(Screaming)
(Loud music playing)
I don't know how
to use you.
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
(Siren blaring)
(Screaming)
(Laughing)
It's just a toy,
it's just a toy.
It's a switch.
Danny, is this you?
Maybe
it's the spirits!
Oh. Danny,
this is not nice!
I was really enjoying
my quiet!
(Laughing)
(Screaming)
(Music playing)
(Yelling)
Danny! Danny!
Om, om, om.
Let's see
you baby-sit for me now.
Om, om, om, om, om...
(Loud music playing)
What happened?
Where's Danny?
Mrs. Greene?
The little monster
is up in his room.
And I am never
going to baby-sit him again.
Ever.
Do you hear that,
Danny?!
Bad little boys
don't get to do macram!
So, what got into him?
He's never bad.
You promised him.
It's work.
Don't you think I'd rather
be playing catch with him?
Well, I understand that,
but he's a seven-year-old boy.
Can you check around
for some backup babysitters?
It's hard.
No one gives out
the names of good sitters.
They're like
state secrets.
Okay, so, what are we
going to do about Danny?
No. What are you going to do
about Danny,
Mister "No Excuses"?
I think Danny and I are gonna be
playing some baseball tomorrow.
Great throw!
Oh! All right.
Bring the heat.
Did Grandpa
teach you how to play?
My dad never had a lot of time
to play baseball with me.
Wow, just like me!
Do grownups
hate baseball?
Is that why they have to pay
the pros so much money to play?
Buddy, if I could spend all my
time playing baseball with you,
and still have a house
and food and everything,
I'd be the happiest guy
in the world.
Maybe we could be
on a team.
If I were captain,
I would pick you first.
So would I, Danny.
But you know,
we already are a team.
Really?
Yeah.
You, me, and Mom.
We're the Parker
family team.
But your bad behaviour
is letting the team down.
Sorry, Dad.
Being bad never gets you
what you want.
Being bad totally gets you
whatever you want.
I knew it!
The day after
I drove my babysitter away,
my dad came home early
to play baseball with me.
So you gonna keep it up,
you know, get on the list?
It's working so far.
But the only thing is,
I don't think I can be that bad.
You got lucky with Miss Greene.
She's easy.
I know, but how do you get good
at being bad?
(Metal clanging)
(Car alarm blaring)
Yeah.
(Glass shattering)
(Alarm blaring)
You.
Danny needs some help.
Oh, I'll help you,
all right.
We need some lessons
in how to be bad,
and you're the best
worst kid I know.
You wanna be bad?
Danny needs to learn how to be,
you know, a total jerk,
just like you.
What's in it for me?
Well, I've got two dollars,
six Pokmon cards,
and my pudding cup
from lunch.
That's a
pretty good deal.
Yeah. I could just
watch you be a jerk for free,
but I'm in a hurry.
What's your rush?
I wanna be
on the no-sit list.
You know,
for babysitters?
I invented
the no-sit list.
It's great.
You get to stay home alone,
sometimes
for a couple of days.
So you'll help me out?
You're gonna love it.
SNOOK:
The first sitters are easy.
Just stick with the classics
like, you know, water balloons.
Hmm, what about
yoghurt balloons?
Yes.
You've gotta mix it up though.
Keep trying new things.
(Metal clanging)
(Danny screaming)
After a while, they start
bringing in the tough sitters,
and then you have to fight back
with all you've got.
Not hot sauce!
No, no, no, no!
(Laughing)
Hi, Janelle.
How's the test prep going?
Ugh.
"E: all of the above."
That's my answer
for everything.
Hey, kidderoo.
Hi, Janelle.
Oh, orange juice. Can you watch
the cart for a second, sweetie?
I'll stay with him.
Okay. Thank you.
So I heard some rumours
about you.
About me?
Mm-hm.
Here.
Here you go,
in case you run out.
Does it ring a bell?
Who, me?
I'm a good kid.
Too good.
Remember?
Yeah, I remember.
Just be careful, you don't want
to end up on the no-sit list!
(Gasping)
Oh, okay.
I know what kind of kid you are,
and in your heart,
you're too good
to ever really be bad.
(Cheering)
You're legendary.
Did you really
drop yoghurt balloons?
That's awesome.
If I bought a fake hand
my mom would freak.
Danny's probably on
the no-sit list already.
Not so fast.
(All gasping)
You've done okay so far.
He scared them all off.
But that just means that
the good sitters won't take you.
You can still get
The Guard.
(Puma growling)
The Guard?
Who's that?
He used to work in a prison
with killer and thieves,
so you can bet
that no kid scares him.
He's bad?
The worst babysitter
I ever had.
Forget about TV or games,
you just sit in your room alone.
At dinner time, he slides
a plate under the door.
It's always
a bread sandwich.
One slice of bread
between two other slices.
Maybe he's already heard about
Danny, and he won't sit for him.
He'll sit for anybody.
And if you can't
drive him off,
you're stuck with him
till you're 12,
'cause no other sitter
will take you.
DAD:
How's Iggy?
I think
he's getting bigger.
Well, he's growing every day,
just like you.
Are you guys
going out again tonight?
We have to, sweetheart.
Your father has a--
Client dinner.
I know.
What do you wanna be
when you grow up, Danny?
Dad, I have told you
a hundred times.
Well, he has.
An inventor-movie maker-fireman,
right?
A fireman and an inventor
and a movie maker.
I was going to be
a baseball player too,
but I never
got any practice.
Danny, every job has things
about it that are good,
and things
that aren't so good.
Sure, okay.
Some kids' dads have to travel
from home all the time for work,
some have to
work at night.
With my job, I have to
go out with clients, a lot.
Usually with your mom.
I know!
But Danny, sweetie,
that is just part
of your father's job.
It doesn't mean that
he doesn't wanna be with you.
Do you understand?
I guess so.
Now Danny, you have really been
acting up for your sitters.
It's getting hard
to get anyone to sit for you.
Well, maybe you guys
should stay home.
We can't do that, honey.
Okay, now,
we have somebody for tonight,
he's just a little--
Are you sure?
He'll be fine
and Danny will be fine.
Danny. Danny.
We really need you to be
part of the team here, buddy.
If you can't behave
for this sitter,
then no one's
gonna sit for you,
and I don't know
what we'll do.
Okay, sweetie? Do you understand
why that's so important?
So if I scare off
this sitter,
then no one will ever
sit for me again?
That's right, sweetie.
See? Now you understand
why this is so important.
Got it.
Okay, well,
that's good, honey,
'cause he's on his way.
Mr. Santiago,
thank you so much
for sitting for us
on such short notice.
That's why we're here,
to keep the kids safe.
(Animal growling)
This is Danny.
Say hello, sweetheart.
I've heard about you.
I'll bet you have.
Okay, you two have fun.
You have our number
in case you need to call.
Ah, we won't need to call,
we'll be having too much fun.
Right, kid?
(Grunting)
Right.
That's a nice jacket.
You bet it is, kid.
Don't even think
about touching it.
Why?
(Animal growling)
Because if anything happened to
it, you wouldn't be too happy.
Why?
Because I'd make sure
of it.
Why?
Oh, so that's
how it's gonna be, huh?
You think
you're the first kid
to play
the "Why?" game on me?
Why?
Yeah, you've gotta
do better than that, kid.
"Have to do better
than that, kid."
Oh, so now you're just
gonna mimic everything I say?
"Oh, so now you're just
gonna mimic everything I say?"
That's not gonna work.
"That's not gonna work."
(Animal growling)
Why?
(Laughing)
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why? Why?
Why?
Why?
How's that work
for you, kid?
Uh, not so good.
You know,
I'd heard of you too, kid.
Really,
I was expecting worse.
Why?
(Laughing)
Look at me, kid.
You think
I'm the first guy people call
to nurture their little angels
while they're gone?
That's right.
I'm the last one they call.
They bring me in for the brats
no one else will touch.
Well, you drove
everyone off.
They won't have
nothing to do with you.
So get used
to having me around,
because no
snot-nosed little turd
is going to stand between me
and thirty bucks an hour.
Plus tips.
So I'll be
your babysitter now.
(Chuckling)
Going somewhere, kid?
Uh, I'm hungry?
I need
to go to the bathroom.
You can't just lock me
in my room the whole time!
Why?
I'll tell my parents.
All your parents care about
is that you're alive
and the house is still here
when they get home.
You've been
a bad little boy, Danny.
You think they're gonna mind if
I had to send you to your room?
(Laughing)
Help!
I'm being kidnapped.
(Motor revving)
Child abuse!
Amber alert!
(Loudly revving)
Going somewhere,
buddy?
(Rattling)
(Glass breaking)
Hey, what's that sound, kid?
What sound?
(Glass breaking)
That sound.
Oh, that?
That's just paint.
(Breaking)
From my model airplanes.
Paint don't make
that sound.
It does when you
drop it out the window
on to a motorcycle.
What?!
(Breaking)
It makes a real pretty pattern
on your motorcycle.
Let me in, kid.
Especially the pink.
(Breaking)
(Yelling)
(Yelling)
Oh, no!
Rats!
Nobody touches my bike!
You got two seconds
to open this door, kid.
Why?
You wrecked
my motorcycle, kid.
That paint
will never come off.
Call my parents
and tell them
that you'll never
sit for me again.
I'm not gonna let
no little kid beat me.
You wouldn't!
It'll match
your motorcycle.
Are you gonna call?
Or are you having
too much fun?
Parker,
party of four?
Yes. Thank goodness.
It's been an hour.
Yes, we're very busy tonight.
Isn't it wonderful?
(Phone ringing)
Oh, excuse me,
just a second.
Mr. Santiago.
Right now?
Where's Danny?
Your little
demon child's inside.
Now, give me my money!
I'll bill you
for my bike later.
Daniel James Parker,
I know you're awake.
Jim.
Oh, hi,
Dad and Mom.
Did the babysitter
leave already?
Cut the innocent act.
I know all about it.
We were having fun.
No, you were having fun.
I thought you were
gonna help us out, Danny.
The team, remember?
Why are we only a team when
you want me to do something
and not when I want to?
Danny, you used to be
such a good boy,
and now all you do
is drive away your babysitters.
What happened?
Does that mean no one
will baby-sit for me anymore?
No, it means
you made me miss
a very important meeting
tonight, son.
Sorry.
No, you will be sorry.
Marco's birthday
is tomorrow, right?
After school.
Yeah, you looking
forward to that?
Yeah.
Well, you won't be there.
You made me miss something
important to me tonight,
now I'm gonna make you miss
something important to you.
I wish
I was important to you.
I'm starving.
We didn't even get an appetiser.
Did you have to take away
Marco's party?
Okay, let's let him
go to Marco's party.
In fact,
why don't we get him a pony
and a trip to the waterslides
while we're at it.
Jim.
Why is he acting up, Wendy?
I mean,
he's got a great house,
he's got all the toys
in the world.
He wants
to spend time with you.
How long
is this phase gonna last?
Until he stops
wanting to spend time with you.
Which,
the way children are,
is probably
not that far from now,
so you ought to
spend some time with him,
while he still
lets you hang around.
I want to, but then he goes
and does something like this.
Now I'm gonna have to work
twice as hard to make up for it.
He's only
making it harder.
I know,
but Marco's birthday?
He's been looking
forward to that for a year.
Do you really want to reward him
for his bad behaviour?
No, I don't.
But he's gonna be crushed, and
I don't even wanna think about
how Marco's
gonna take the news.
You can't come
to my birthday party?!
I'm grounded.
It's today!
Isn't there a rule
that you can't back out
on someone's birthday?
I know,
but I'm grounded.
But I did get rid
of The Guard.
It was really tough.
First I tried
to get him with a--
What's wrong?
It's not like there were gonna
be that many kids there anyway.
Wait till I tell you
about The Guard's motorcycle.
Who cares how
you got rid of The Guard?
You're supposed to be coming
to my birthday party, Danny!
I want to.
You don't really.
You just care about
getting on the stupid list.
You told me
about the list.
That was back
when we were friends.
We're best friends.
Danny, a best friend
is supposed to
come to
your birthday party.
If you're not
gonna be there,
I guess that means
we aren't best friends anymore.
My mom even made
volcano cake!
Okay, great.
I'll talk to you later.
Do you want
more milk, honey?
Aren't you hungry?
You feeling okay?
No.
I know that you're missing
your best friend's birthday.
He's not
my best friend anymore.
I'm pretty sure that Marco
is still your best friend.
Bad behaviour
has consequences, Danny.
And learning that is
one of the most important parts
of growing up.
But the people who care
about you don't just go away.
Can I go up to my room?
Yes, if you want.
I've got some more work
to do anyway.
Hey, sweetie.
You're home early.
Yeah.
All I could think about today
was Danny missing that party.
He's pretty
broken-up about it.
When I was Danny's age,
I had about one good friend.
If I'd ever missed
his party...
He's in his room.
He could still make it.
Yeah?
We can still make it.
Cake, presents, chips,
we'll need taquitos.
Hi, Danny!
It's so nice to see you!
Thanks. Is Marco here?
Yes, he's right by
the bubble-ator dear.
He wasn't sure
you were gonna make it.
Have fun!
He made it!
Okay.
Oh, taquitos, great.
And, yeah, cups.
We need juice.
Danny, you made it!
I'm your best friend, right?
You bet.
Awesome cake!
BOTH:
Chocolate lava!
I'm so glad
your parents let you come.
Well...
(Phone ringing)
Mom, phone.
Hello?
Hey, Wendy!
I can't tell you how happy Marco
is that you let Danny come.
Uh-huh,
they're over here.
Oh.
KID:
Thank you.
You're frozen.
No.
We're playing Freeze Tag.
I'm it,
I tagged you.
You're busted.
Your parents are coming.
Run!
They're gonna catch me.
They already know. You might
as well turn yourself in.
Never!
Where's Danny?
I just saw him a second ago.
(Crowd screaming)
You ruined
my son's birthday!
I feel like
all we ever talk about anymore
is why you're being bad
to your babysitters.
You were
such a good boy, Danny.
I know that you're not
this bad in your heart.
I'm concerned, Daniel.
Up until now, you've only
been bad for babysitters,
but you deliberately
disobeyed us.
Sneaking out of the house?
What if something
had happened to you,
and we didn't know
where you were?
BOTH:
Don't you have anything
to say for yourself?
You guys are always going out
to client dinners,
and I'm always stuck here.
When do we get to do something
as a family?
We were gonna
do something tomorrow.
Really? What?
We were gonna go to
a baseball game.
I told my clients
that instead of
going to some
dumb restaurant for dinner,
that we should take our families
out to a baseball game.
That's great, Dad.
We were
gonna do that, Danny,
and then you snuck
out of the house today.
So now you can't go?
No.
Now you can't go.
I've already committed,
so I have to go.
You're going to
a baseball game without me?
I have to.
I can't reward you
for breaking the rules,
and I can't back out
on my client.
Not after leaving them at
the restaurant the other night.
But you can't go.
No one else
will baby-sit for me.
I called around.
There is still someone
who will baby-sit for you.
The first star.
Huh?
"The first star
I see tonight."
JIM:
What do you know.
DANNY:
Can we make a wish,
like we used to?
Of course we can.
ALL:
Star light, star bright,
first star
I've seen tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
have this wish
I wish tonight.
I wish my son would be the
sweet little boy he used to be.
I wish my parents cared about me
as much as their clients.
I wish
my little boy understood
that everything we do
is for him.
What are you doing?
I didn't want
to get you in trouble
if you're not allowed
to have friends over.
I thought
you weren't talking to me.
I guess we're talking.
I'm really sorry
I ruined your birthday, Marco.
Ruined? That was
the best birthday ever!
I sneezed lava cake
out of my nose.
So you forgive me?
Of course I do.
You're my best friend.
I don't think
my mom does though.
She and my sisters
look like 99 Dalmatians.
(Laughing)
So you wanna come over?
I got the Legend of Zelda,
even though
it's rated "T" for "teen."
I'm grounded forever. My parents
found another babysitter.
No way! Who?
I don't know. But if
he's worse than The Guard,
I'm in big trouble.
MOM:
Danny, are you
talking to someone?
No one's talking to me,
remember?
Hey, Mom,
can I play a game
on your laptop?
It's on the table.
Send me a video chat.
We've gotta make a plan.
So that's it.
You have to
drag this one off quick.
If you can get rid of him
before the game starts,
your dad will have to
come back for you.
And since he can't
back out on his client,
he'll have to
bring me to the game.
Are you positive
this is a good idea, Danny?
Why not?
Well, your babysitters just
keep getting worse and worse.
And now I can't even
play with you anymore.
Being bad
hasn't worked so well.
And being good
didn't work at all.
So, what are you gonna do?
Well, all I know is,
if this one's worse
than The Guard,
I'm in big trouble.
(Doorbell ringing)
You can't do it, Danny.
But you have to be
the worst kid to baby-sit ever.
And I have to do it quick.
Once the game starts,
it's too late.
This is for my family.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
Hey, kidderoo.
What's new?
(Whispering)
Worst kid ever.
For my family.
So where have you been?
Um, studying for the SATs.
it's this test you have to take
to get into college.
Oh.
Which is totally stupid
because
I want to study art,
so who cares how good I am
at math anyway, right?
Um, I guess so.
I thought you didn't want
to baby-sit for me anymore.
I will always
sit for you, Danny.
You're my favourite.
But didn't you hear
what I did
to the other sitters?
Ah, I don't listen
to gossip.
I know you, Danny. And you just
don't have it in you to be mean.
What time is it?
Almost noon?
The game starts in an hour.
How long does it take
to get there?
See? You're always thinking
of other people.
But don't worry, your parents
have plenty of time.
But I don't.
What?
You're wrong.
I can be bad if I want to.
Sure, Danny.
You're a horrible
baseball player.
Yeah, no kidding.
Right?
I hope you fail
for your SAP test
'cause then
you won't go to college,
and then you'll get fat and old
and sleep under a bridge.
(Laughing)
That's a nice try. But I told
you, you couldn't be mean.
(Phone ringing)
Hey, Marco.
You're still alive!
Who's babysitting?
Someone worse
than The Guard?
Much worse.
Who?
It's Janelle.
How is that worse
than The Guard?
I can't be mean to her.
You have to try.
She just thinks
I'm kidding.
What am I going to do?
You want to
see your family, right?
Yeah.
Well, then you have to
get rid of her.
But I like her.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, because
she's going to be
coming to your house
every day.
I thought you just told me
not to be bad today.
That's crazy.
If you're gonna give up now,
then what's the point
of getting on the list?
Now I'm confused.
Well,
you better decide soon,
'cause you have half an hour
to get rid of her,
or your dad
will already be at the game.
So, what you gonna do,
Danny?
Hey, Danny,
you coming back out or what?
(Clattering)
(Glass breaking)
Danny?
(Water running)
Sick.
(Microwave beeping)
Danny!
Danny,
turn the water off!
You're making
a huge mess!
Danny!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Call my dad and tell him
you can't sit for me.
No, Danny.
I'm not gonna do that.
Danny.
Gotcha!
Gotcha.
Danny,
let me out of here.
Call my dad.
I won't do it.
Danny, I'm not gonna do it.
Your dad has to work.
He's going
to a baseball game.
That's work to him.
Danny, your dad
and your mom love you,
but it's a big world
out there,
and they can't
spend every minute with you.
My dad hardly spends
any time with me at all.
How come
they don't wanna be with me?
I'm sure they do, Danny.
They love you.
It's just,
sometimes adults do things
that are impossible
to explain to kids.
Like Algebra.
What's Algebra?
Exactly.
So you're not
going to call?
Sorry, Charlie.
Now, what do you say
you let me out of here,
and we start
cleaning up this mess?
Sorry, Charlie.
Oh, and by the way,
watch out for Iggy.
I think
he's in there with you.
(Screaming)
Danny, you know
I don't like lizards.
Told you I could be bad.
Danny, this is really,
really mean.
Call my dad.
(Exasperated sighing)
(Dialling)
Hi, Mr. Parker.
Danny wanted me to call.
Is everything okay?
Well...
Yeah, I'm still here. I think
Danny wants to talk to you.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, Danny.
What's going on, buddy?
Hi, Dad.
Are you doing Algebra?
Algebra?
Why do you ask about that?
I think it's something
that grownups do
that they can't
explain to kids, right?
I suppose so.
When you're gone
all the time,
is that for something that
grownups can't explain to kids?
That's exactly what it is.
Is something wrong?
I'm just really sorry
I've been acting bad, Dad.
It's just something that kids
can't explain to grownups.
Kind of like Pokmon.
(Chuckling)
Makes sense to me.
I don't like being bad.
I know you don't, Danny.
I just miss
spending time with you.
I miss spending time
with you too.
Okay, have fun at
the baseball game. I mean it.
I will.
Hey, I have a surprise for you.
What?
You're coming with me.
We got to the game
and decided
it just wouldn't
be any fun without you,
so we're coming back
to get you.
You and Mom?
No, Mom's
still at the game.
I'm bringing my client,
so make a good impression, okay?
Okay.
We're only
a couple of blocks away.
I'll see you
in two minutes.
He's excited.
He's coming back
to get me.
That's great, Danny.
I'm sorry, Janelle.
I was a real jerk to you.
Oh, it's okay.
I mean,
I like sour cream.
So when's your dad
coming home?
About two minutes.
BOTH:
Two minutes?!
I'll help you clean up.
Hey, buddy.
Ready to go to a baseball game?
You bet!
Thanks.
Sorry about the change.
Oh, no problem.
It's my pleasure.
Me and Danny always have
a great time. Don't we, Danny?
Thanks, Janelle,
for everything.
(Creaking)
I'll just grab a jacket.
No!
No!
You look really hip
like that.
And a jacket
is just going to
make you look old.
Mm-hm.
Okay.
Yeah, lookin' good.
Let's hit it.
(Creaking)
(Engine starting)
(Creaking)
DANNY:
All right, he got it!
JIM:
Great play!
Did you see that?
DANNY:
Yes!
Thanks for coming back
for me, Dad.
Oh, no problem, buddy.
But your mom had a little
something to do with it.
'Cause you guys
are a team, right?
We're all a team.
Yeah.
I know.
And I'm sorry
I wasn't helping out.
Sorry I wasn't
home that much, buddy.
I'm gonna try
to be home more, okay?
Thanks, Dad.
But you know I still have to
be away a little bit.
It's part of my job.
Algebra, remember?
I know.
But when you go out,
can you make sure that it's
Janelle who stays with me?
I think we can
promise you that, sweetie.
Yeah.
No one else will.
Here comes the ball!
Here it comes!
Catch it, catch it!
(Cheering)
You caught the ball!
That's my boy!
(Laughing)
(Barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Whining)
Shut up, flea bag.
Papa's listening to music.
(Sighing)
(Muffled)
Mom, Dad's home!
Dad, are you ready?
Danny!
What's new, kidderoo?
Hi, Janelle.
Client dinner?
Uh, betcha two bucks.
Hey, buddy. Got to run.
Mom and I have a client dinner.
Oh, sorry.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, Danny,
I forgot to tell you.
I have to go with your dad
to a client dinner tonight.
I'm really sorry,
sweetheart.
You guys go out
every night.
When do we get to
practice baseball?
I know it's a lot, Danny.
I'd rather be hanging out with
you, but I've got a job to do.
Hey, you know,
that's okay.
We're going to have
tons of fun.
Aren't we, Danny?
Sure.
Hey, how about tomorrow after
work, you, me, and a baseball?
No excuses!
No excuses!
No excuses!
Deal.
Um, deal.
Hey, thanks for being
such a good kid.
I don't know what we'd do
if you weren't.
Hey, do you want to go up
and play with Iggy?
No. Your iguana
scares the poop out of me.
DAD:
Maybe Janelle
could practice with you.
Oh, that sounds fun.
Not!
Not!
(Dog barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
Nice catch.
I'm going to have to sit for you
for free for a month
to pay for
all these flower pots.
Geez.
Nice throw, kidderoo.
(Pot breaking)
(Pot breaking)
My dad's
a lot better than you,
so is my friend Marco,
and his older sister.
Thanks for
the tough love, pal.
Try-outs are coming up.
I want a better position.
Oh, yeah?
What'd you play last year?
Pitcher.
Oh, pitcher's good,
isn't it?
Not in T-ball.
In T-ball,
the pitcher's just standing
in the middle of the diamond,
scratching his butt.
This year is real baseball.
I want to be on first base.
(Barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
All right, well,
let's see what you got.
(Baseball organ music)
(Pot breaking)
I'm going to get stuck
in Little Tykes league.
It's not fair. Why does Dad
have to go out every night?
I never get to see him.
Well, parents
have to work.
At least you got me.
But I try to be good.
That doesn't have
anything to do with it.
You're a good kid, Danny.
Maybe too good.
You gotta try
a little trouble sometimes.
(Dog barking)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog whimpering)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog Whimpering)
(Electricity fizzling)
(Dog Whimpering)
Hey, you know
what would be fun?
What would be fun?
(Barking)
(Barking)
(Barking)
(Barking)
Shut up, fleabag.
(Electricity fizzling)
(Yelling)
That was a close one.
(Yelling)
Go get it.
Go get it.
Lousy watchdog.
(Yelling)
Darn kids.
I hate kids!
So do you think
we hurt Mr. Willowsbag?
Ah, no more than he hurts
his dog 500 times a day.
"Humane training device."
See, we were
just training him.
To be nicer to his dog?
Exactly.
You're a good kid, Danny.
Probably the best kid
I sit for.
A little mischief once
in a while never hurt anybody.
Well,
maybe Mr. Willowsbag.
(Electricity fizzling)
(Yelling)
(Laughing)
(Door unlocking)
I hope
you like chocolate.
How was he?
Oh, so adorable.
There was--
There was leftover pizza, and
he wanted to call the food bank
and see if they needed it.
It was so cute.
Thank you so much,
Janelle.
Don't know
what we'd do without you.
What?
Uh, I'm taking
an SAT prep class,
so I'm not going
to be able to sit
for the next couple
of weeks.
Wow.
Danny is really
going to miss you.
Ohh.
Seems like the only time
I see him anymore,
he's already asleep.
(Whispering)
That smile is so cute.
Yeah.
(Whispering)
Come on, let's go.
So did they
ever catch you?
Not yet. I think
he thinks the dog did it.
Too slow.
Can't throw.
Girl.
Hits like a girl.
You hit like a girl.
Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?
Put two of you together,
and you make one player.
One really sucky player.
Mouth Breather.
Special Ed.
You smell,
but at least you can play.
Right field.
Sweet, dude.
We're gonna kick their butts.
What a jerk.
I hear Snook's been held back
every grade since kindergarten.
You.
How do you get held back
in kindergarten?
You know, I've been thinking
about your babysitter problem.
There's only
one solution.
You have to get on
the no-sit list.
What's the no-sit list?
My cousin
told me about it.
If you're bad enough,
no babysitter will take you.
They'll put you on the list.
Then your parents
will have to stay home.
No way.
Absolutely!
But you have to be
really bad.
High five, dude.
We're gonna win.
I bet you
Snook's on the list.
Right on the top.
(Laughing)
Pipsqueak and Porker, huh?
Well, I got a position
for you guys:
left out.
No way.
I'm playing.
I'll tell you what.
If you can throw it
hard enough to hurt,
yeah, I'll let you play.
Otherwise, hit the road.
Hard enough to hurt?
That's right.
That was
hard enough to hurt.
Uh-oh. Run!
KID:
Put CPR on him!
You're dead!
You better run.
Get him!
Run!
SNOOK:
Come on guys, get him!
I just don't think I can be
bad enough to get on the list.
Being bad
makes me feel gross,
like P.E.
or sitting next to a girl.
You don't have to be bad
all the time,
just for babysitters.
Yeah, but
what about Santa?
Easy. Just be bad enough
to get on the no-sit list,
then do a bunch
of good stuff in December
so you make
Santa's cut-off.
I'm not gonna risk it.
I'm gonna
stick with being good.
Hey, you wanna
come in?
I'll show you the decorations
for my birthday party.
It's gonna be awesome.
I better get home.
My dad's coming home early.
Just me,
him and baseball.
No excuses.
(Door opening)
Hey, buddy.
How was your day?
Great, now!
Let's go!
Hold on, Danny.
Come on, Dad.
You, me and a baseball.
No excuses?
I got some bad news
at work today.
Your mom and I
have to have a dinner meeting.
No excuses.
You shook.
It's work, Danny.
If it's work, how come
you're going to a restaurant?
When you're grown up,
you'll understand.
Now, be a good boy and
get ready for the babysitter.
At least I'll have fun
with Janelle.
About that.
Janelle
had another commitment.
So who's babysitting?
You remember Miss Greene?
DANNY:
She's the worst.
There are worse babysitters,
Danny. Believe me.
She doesn't let me watch TV, use
the internet, play videogames.
I'm sorry, buddy. She's all
we've got on short notice.
But I really appreciate
you being such a good sport.
(Jingling)
Can I watch TV?
Just the mention of television
misaligns my chakras.
Videogame?
Too violent.
Internet?
Predators.
Listen to my mom's iPod?
Ruins your ears.
Radio?
No.
Why?
Electronic sounds
frazzle my nerves.
I could sing for you.
How about a nice
Apache burial song?
(Singing)
Uh, no thanks.
Oh, all right.
Probably a good idea.
We don't want
to summon the spirits.
We'll just sit here
and enjoy the quiet.
Would you like to do something
that's really fun?
Sure!
Oh, dear.
Well, you can share
my macram project with me.
How's your
prune smoothie, dear?
It's organic.
I need
to go to the bathroom.
Yes, well,
that's the idea, dear.
Don't take too long.
You don't wanna miss out
on your macram project.
Hey, Marco.
What are you doing?
Wii Sports.
It's just like real sports,
but I can actually
hit the ball.
Wait. Aren't you supposed to
be practicing with your dad?
He's out with a client
and I'm stuck with Miss Greene.
No way. How are you able
to video chat?
She makes me read
Watership Down by candlelight.
I said I needed to go
to the bathroom.
Organic prune smoothie?
Yeah.
She won't miss you
for about an hour.
My dad promised,
and he went out anyway.
I'm telling you, the no-sit
list is your only hope.
I don't think
I can be that bad.
Do you wanna be
stuck with babysitters
for the rest
of your life?
Okay, I'm gonna do it.
It's time to be bad.
(Loud rock music playing)
(Static hissing)
(Yelling)
Television! Television!
Hold on a minute.
(Siren Blaring)
(Screaming)
(Loud music playing)
I don't know how
to use you.
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
(Siren blaring)
(Screaming)
(Laughing)
It's just a toy,
it's just a toy.
It's a switch.
Danny, is this you?
Maybe
it's the spirits!
Oh. Danny,
this is not nice!
I was really enjoying
my quiet!
(Laughing)
(Screaming)
(Music playing)
(Yelling)
Danny! Danny!
Om, om, om.
Let's see
you baby-sit for me now.
Om, om, om, om, om...
(Loud music playing)
What happened?
Where's Danny?
Mrs. Greene?
The little monster
is up in his room.
And I am never
going to baby-sit him again.
Ever.
Do you hear that,
Danny?!
Bad little boys
don't get to do macram!
So, what got into him?
He's never bad.
You promised him.
It's work.
Don't you think I'd rather
be playing catch with him?
Well, I understand that,
but he's a seven-year-old boy.
Can you check around
for some backup babysitters?
It's hard.
No one gives out
the names of good sitters.
They're like
state secrets.
Okay, so, what are we
going to do about Danny?
No. What are you going to do
about Danny,
Mister "No Excuses"?
I think Danny and I are gonna be
playing some baseball tomorrow.
Great throw!
Oh! All right.
Bring the heat.
Did Grandpa
teach you how to play?
My dad never had a lot of time
to play baseball with me.
Wow, just like me!
Do grownups
hate baseball?
Is that why they have to pay
the pros so much money to play?
Buddy, if I could spend all my
time playing baseball with you,
and still have a house
and food and everything,
I'd be the happiest guy
in the world.
Maybe we could be
on a team.
If I were captain,
I would pick you first.
So would I, Danny.
But you know,
we already are a team.
Really?
Yeah.
You, me, and Mom.
We're the Parker
family team.
But your bad behaviour
is letting the team down.
Sorry, Dad.
Being bad never gets you
what you want.
Being bad totally gets you
whatever you want.
I knew it!
The day after
I drove my babysitter away,
my dad came home early
to play baseball with me.
So you gonna keep it up,
you know, get on the list?
It's working so far.
But the only thing is,
I don't think I can be that bad.
You got lucky with Miss Greene.
She's easy.
I know, but how do you get good
at being bad?
(Metal clanging)
(Car alarm blaring)
Yeah.
(Glass shattering)
(Alarm blaring)
You.
Danny needs some help.
Oh, I'll help you,
all right.
We need some lessons
in how to be bad,
and you're the best
worst kid I know.
You wanna be bad?
Danny needs to learn how to be,
you know, a total jerk,
just like you.
What's in it for me?
Well, I've got two dollars,
six Pokmon cards,
and my pudding cup
from lunch.
That's a
pretty good deal.
Yeah. I could just
watch you be a jerk for free,
but I'm in a hurry.
What's your rush?
I wanna be
on the no-sit list.
You know,
for babysitters?
I invented
the no-sit list.
It's great.
You get to stay home alone,
sometimes
for a couple of days.
So you'll help me out?
You're gonna love it.
SNOOK:
The first sitters are easy.
Just stick with the classics
like, you know, water balloons.
Hmm, what about
yoghurt balloons?
Yes.
You've gotta mix it up though.
Keep trying new things.
(Metal clanging)
(Danny screaming)
After a while, they start
bringing in the tough sitters,
and then you have to fight back
with all you've got.
Not hot sauce!
No, no, no, no!
(Laughing)
Hi, Janelle.
How's the test prep going?
Ugh.
"E: all of the above."
That's my answer
for everything.
Hey, kidderoo.
Hi, Janelle.
Oh, orange juice. Can you watch
the cart for a second, sweetie?
I'll stay with him.
Okay. Thank you.
So I heard some rumours
about you.
About me?
Mm-hm.
Here.
Here you go,
in case you run out.
Does it ring a bell?
Who, me?
I'm a good kid.
Too good.
Remember?
Yeah, I remember.
Just be careful, you don't want
to end up on the no-sit list!
(Gasping)
Oh, okay.
I know what kind of kid you are,
and in your heart,
you're too good
to ever really be bad.
(Cheering)
You're legendary.
Did you really
drop yoghurt balloons?
That's awesome.
If I bought a fake hand
my mom would freak.
Danny's probably on
the no-sit list already.
Not so fast.
(All gasping)
You've done okay so far.
He scared them all off.
But that just means that
the good sitters won't take you.
You can still get
The Guard.
(Puma growling)
The Guard?
Who's that?
He used to work in a prison
with killer and thieves,
so you can bet
that no kid scares him.
He's bad?
The worst babysitter
I ever had.
Forget about TV or games,
you just sit in your room alone.
At dinner time, he slides
a plate under the door.
It's always
a bread sandwich.
One slice of bread
between two other slices.
Maybe he's already heard about
Danny, and he won't sit for him.
He'll sit for anybody.
And if you can't
drive him off,
you're stuck with him
till you're 12,
'cause no other sitter
will take you.
DAD:
How's Iggy?
I think
he's getting bigger.
Well, he's growing every day,
just like you.
Are you guys
going out again tonight?
We have to, sweetheart.
Your father has a--
Client dinner.
I know.
What do you wanna be
when you grow up, Danny?
Dad, I have told you
a hundred times.
Well, he has.
An inventor-movie maker-fireman,
right?
A fireman and an inventor
and a movie maker.
I was going to be
a baseball player too,
but I never
got any practice.
Danny, every job has things
about it that are good,
and things
that aren't so good.
Sure, okay.
Some kids' dads have to travel
from home all the time for work,
some have to
work at night.
With my job, I have to
go out with clients, a lot.
Usually with your mom.
I know!
But Danny, sweetie,
that is just part
of your father's job.
It doesn't mean that
he doesn't wanna be with you.
Do you understand?
I guess so.
Now Danny, you have really been
acting up for your sitters.
It's getting hard
to get anyone to sit for you.
Well, maybe you guys
should stay home.
We can't do that, honey.
Okay, now,
we have somebody for tonight,
he's just a little--
Are you sure?
He'll be fine
and Danny will be fine.
Danny. Danny.
We really need you to be
part of the team here, buddy.
If you can't behave
for this sitter,
then no one's
gonna sit for you,
and I don't know
what we'll do.
Okay, sweetie? Do you understand
why that's so important?
So if I scare off
this sitter,
then no one will ever
sit for me again?
That's right, sweetie.
See? Now you understand
why this is so important.
Got it.
Okay, well,
that's good, honey,
'cause he's on his way.
Mr. Santiago,
thank you so much
for sitting for us
on such short notice.
That's why we're here,
to keep the kids safe.
(Animal growling)
This is Danny.
Say hello, sweetheart.
I've heard about you.
I'll bet you have.
Okay, you two have fun.
You have our number
in case you need to call.
Ah, we won't need to call,
we'll be having too much fun.
Right, kid?
(Grunting)
Right.
That's a nice jacket.
You bet it is, kid.
Don't even think
about touching it.
Why?
(Animal growling)
Because if anything happened to
it, you wouldn't be too happy.
Why?
Because I'd make sure
of it.
Why?
Oh, so that's
how it's gonna be, huh?
You think
you're the first kid
to play
the "Why?" game on me?
Why?
Yeah, you've gotta
do better than that, kid.
"Have to do better
than that, kid."
Oh, so now you're just
gonna mimic everything I say?
"Oh, so now you're just
gonna mimic everything I say?"
That's not gonna work.
"That's not gonna work."
(Animal growling)
Why?
(Laughing)
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why? Why?
Why?
Why?
How's that work
for you, kid?
Uh, not so good.
You know,
I'd heard of you too, kid.
Really,
I was expecting worse.
Why?
(Laughing)
Look at me, kid.
You think
I'm the first guy people call
to nurture their little angels
while they're gone?
That's right.
I'm the last one they call.
They bring me in for the brats
no one else will touch.
Well, you drove
everyone off.
They won't have
nothing to do with you.
So get used
to having me around,
because no
snot-nosed little turd
is going to stand between me
and thirty bucks an hour.
Plus tips.
So I'll be
your babysitter now.
(Chuckling)
Going somewhere, kid?
Uh, I'm hungry?
I need
to go to the bathroom.
You can't just lock me
in my room the whole time!
Why?
I'll tell my parents.
All your parents care about
is that you're alive
and the house is still here
when they get home.
You've been
a bad little boy, Danny.
You think they're gonna mind if
I had to send you to your room?
(Laughing)
Help!
I'm being kidnapped.
(Motor revving)
Child abuse!
Amber alert!
(Loudly revving)
Going somewhere,
buddy?
(Rattling)
(Glass breaking)
Hey, what's that sound, kid?
What sound?
(Glass breaking)
That sound.
Oh, that?
That's just paint.
(Breaking)
From my model airplanes.
Paint don't make
that sound.
It does when you
drop it out the window
on to a motorcycle.
What?!
(Breaking)
It makes a real pretty pattern
on your motorcycle.
Let me in, kid.
Especially the pink.
(Breaking)
(Yelling)
(Yelling)
Oh, no!
Rats!
Nobody touches my bike!
You got two seconds
to open this door, kid.
Why?
You wrecked
my motorcycle, kid.
That paint
will never come off.
Call my parents
and tell them
that you'll never
sit for me again.
I'm not gonna let
no little kid beat me.
You wouldn't!
It'll match
your motorcycle.
Are you gonna call?
Or are you having
too much fun?
Parker,
party of four?
Yes. Thank goodness.
It's been an hour.
Yes, we're very busy tonight.
Isn't it wonderful?
(Phone ringing)
Oh, excuse me,
just a second.
Mr. Santiago.
Right now?
Where's Danny?
Your little
demon child's inside.
Now, give me my money!
I'll bill you
for my bike later.
Daniel James Parker,
I know you're awake.
Jim.
Oh, hi,
Dad and Mom.
Did the babysitter
leave already?
Cut the innocent act.
I know all about it.
We were having fun.
No, you were having fun.
I thought you were
gonna help us out, Danny.
The team, remember?
Why are we only a team when
you want me to do something
and not when I want to?
Danny, you used to be
such a good boy,
and now all you do
is drive away your babysitters.
What happened?
Does that mean no one
will baby-sit for me anymore?
No, it means
you made me miss
a very important meeting
tonight, son.
Sorry.
No, you will be sorry.
Marco's birthday
is tomorrow, right?
After school.
Yeah, you looking
forward to that?
Yeah.
Well, you won't be there.
You made me miss something
important to me tonight,
now I'm gonna make you miss
something important to you.
I wish
I was important to you.
I'm starving.
We didn't even get an appetiser.
Did you have to take away
Marco's party?
Okay, let's let him
go to Marco's party.
In fact,
why don't we get him a pony
and a trip to the waterslides
while we're at it.
Jim.
Why is he acting up, Wendy?
I mean,
he's got a great house,
he's got all the toys
in the world.
He wants
to spend time with you.
How long
is this phase gonna last?
Until he stops
wanting to spend time with you.
Which,
the way children are,
is probably
not that far from now,
so you ought to
spend some time with him,
while he still
lets you hang around.
I want to, but then he goes
and does something like this.
Now I'm gonna have to work
twice as hard to make up for it.
He's only
making it harder.
I know,
but Marco's birthday?
He's been looking
forward to that for a year.
Do you really want to reward him
for his bad behaviour?
No, I don't.
But he's gonna be crushed, and
I don't even wanna think about
how Marco's
gonna take the news.
You can't come
to my birthday party?!
I'm grounded.
It's today!
Isn't there a rule
that you can't back out
on someone's birthday?
I know,
but I'm grounded.
But I did get rid
of The Guard.
It was really tough.
First I tried
to get him with a--
What's wrong?
It's not like there were gonna
be that many kids there anyway.
Wait till I tell you
about The Guard's motorcycle.
Who cares how
you got rid of The Guard?
You're supposed to be coming
to my birthday party, Danny!
I want to.
You don't really.
You just care about
getting on the stupid list.
You told me
about the list.
That was back
when we were friends.
We're best friends.
Danny, a best friend
is supposed to
come to
your birthday party.
If you're not
gonna be there,
I guess that means
we aren't best friends anymore.
My mom even made
volcano cake!
Okay, great.
I'll talk to you later.
Do you want
more milk, honey?
Aren't you hungry?
You feeling okay?
No.
I know that you're missing
your best friend's birthday.
He's not
my best friend anymore.
I'm pretty sure that Marco
is still your best friend.
Bad behaviour
has consequences, Danny.
And learning that is
one of the most important parts
of growing up.
But the people who care
about you don't just go away.
Can I go up to my room?
Yes, if you want.
I've got some more work
to do anyway.
Hey, sweetie.
You're home early.
Yeah.
All I could think about today
was Danny missing that party.
He's pretty
broken-up about it.
When I was Danny's age,
I had about one good friend.
If I'd ever missed
his party...
He's in his room.
He could still make it.
Yeah?
We can still make it.
Cake, presents, chips,
we'll need taquitos.
Hi, Danny!
It's so nice to see you!
Thanks. Is Marco here?
Yes, he's right by
the bubble-ator dear.
He wasn't sure
you were gonna make it.
Have fun!
He made it!
Okay.
Oh, taquitos, great.
And, yeah, cups.
We need juice.
Danny, you made it!
I'm your best friend, right?
You bet.
Awesome cake!
BOTH:
Chocolate lava!
I'm so glad
your parents let you come.
Well...
(Phone ringing)
Mom, phone.
Hello?
Hey, Wendy!
I can't tell you how happy Marco
is that you let Danny come.
Uh-huh,
they're over here.
Oh.
KID:
Thank you.
You're frozen.
No.
We're playing Freeze Tag.
I'm it,
I tagged you.
You're busted.
Your parents are coming.
Run!
They're gonna catch me.
They already know. You might
as well turn yourself in.
Never!
Where's Danny?
I just saw him a second ago.
(Crowd screaming)
You ruined
my son's birthday!
I feel like
all we ever talk about anymore
is why you're being bad
to your babysitters.
You were
such a good boy, Danny.
I know that you're not
this bad in your heart.
I'm concerned, Daniel.
Up until now, you've only
been bad for babysitters,
but you deliberately
disobeyed us.
Sneaking out of the house?
What if something
had happened to you,
and we didn't know
where you were?
BOTH:
Don't you have anything
to say for yourself?
You guys are always going out
to client dinners,
and I'm always stuck here.
When do we get to do something
as a family?
We were gonna
do something tomorrow.
Really? What?
We were gonna go to
a baseball game.
I told my clients
that instead of
going to some
dumb restaurant for dinner,
that we should take our families
out to a baseball game.
That's great, Dad.
We were
gonna do that, Danny,
and then you snuck
out of the house today.
So now you can't go?
No.
Now you can't go.
I've already committed,
so I have to go.
You're going to
a baseball game without me?
I have to.
I can't reward you
for breaking the rules,
and I can't back out
on my client.
Not after leaving them at
the restaurant the other night.
But you can't go.
No one else
will baby-sit for me.
I called around.
There is still someone
who will baby-sit for you.
The first star.
Huh?
"The first star
I see tonight."
JIM:
What do you know.
DANNY:
Can we make a wish,
like we used to?
Of course we can.
ALL:
Star light, star bright,
first star
I've seen tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
have this wish
I wish tonight.
I wish my son would be the
sweet little boy he used to be.
I wish my parents cared about me
as much as their clients.
I wish
my little boy understood
that everything we do
is for him.
What are you doing?
I didn't want
to get you in trouble
if you're not allowed
to have friends over.
I thought
you weren't talking to me.
I guess we're talking.
I'm really sorry
I ruined your birthday, Marco.
Ruined? That was
the best birthday ever!
I sneezed lava cake
out of my nose.
So you forgive me?
Of course I do.
You're my best friend.
I don't think
my mom does though.
She and my sisters
look like 99 Dalmatians.
(Laughing)
So you wanna come over?
I got the Legend of Zelda,
even though
it's rated "T" for "teen."
I'm grounded forever. My parents
found another babysitter.
No way! Who?
I don't know. But if
he's worse than The Guard,
I'm in big trouble.
MOM:
Danny, are you
talking to someone?
No one's talking to me,
remember?
Hey, Mom,
can I play a game
on your laptop?
It's on the table.
Send me a video chat.
We've gotta make a plan.
So that's it.
You have to
drag this one off quick.
If you can get rid of him
before the game starts,
your dad will have to
come back for you.
And since he can't
back out on his client,
he'll have to
bring me to the game.
Are you positive
this is a good idea, Danny?
Why not?
Well, your babysitters just
keep getting worse and worse.
And now I can't even
play with you anymore.
Being bad
hasn't worked so well.
And being good
didn't work at all.
So, what are you gonna do?
Well, all I know is,
if this one's worse
than The Guard,
I'm in big trouble.
(Doorbell ringing)
You can't do it, Danny.
But you have to be
the worst kid to baby-sit ever.
And I have to do it quick.
Once the game starts,
it's too late.
This is for my family.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
I'm going to be
the worst kid ever.
Hey, kidderoo.
What's new?
(Whispering)
Worst kid ever.
For my family.
So where have you been?
Um, studying for the SATs.
it's this test you have to take
to get into college.
Oh.
Which is totally stupid
because
I want to study art,
so who cares how good I am
at math anyway, right?
Um, I guess so.
I thought you didn't want
to baby-sit for me anymore.
I will always
sit for you, Danny.
You're my favourite.
But didn't you hear
what I did
to the other sitters?
Ah, I don't listen
to gossip.
I know you, Danny. And you just
don't have it in you to be mean.
What time is it?
Almost noon?
The game starts in an hour.
How long does it take
to get there?
See? You're always thinking
of other people.
But don't worry, your parents
have plenty of time.
But I don't.
What?
You're wrong.
I can be bad if I want to.
Sure, Danny.
You're a horrible
baseball player.
Yeah, no kidding.
Right?
I hope you fail
for your SAP test
'cause then
you won't go to college,
and then you'll get fat and old
and sleep under a bridge.
(Laughing)
That's a nice try. But I told
you, you couldn't be mean.
(Phone ringing)
Hey, Marco.
You're still alive!
Who's babysitting?
Someone worse
than The Guard?
Much worse.
Who?
It's Janelle.
How is that worse
than The Guard?
I can't be mean to her.
You have to try.
She just thinks
I'm kidding.
What am I going to do?
You want to
see your family, right?
Yeah.
Well, then you have to
get rid of her.
But I like her.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, because
she's going to be
coming to your house
every day.
I thought you just told me
not to be bad today.
That's crazy.
If you're gonna give up now,
then what's the point
of getting on the list?
Now I'm confused.
Well,
you better decide soon,
'cause you have half an hour
to get rid of her,
or your dad
will already be at the game.
So, what you gonna do,
Danny?
Hey, Danny,
you coming back out or what?
(Clattering)
(Glass breaking)
Danny?
(Water running)
Sick.
(Microwave beeping)
Danny!
Danny,
turn the water off!
You're making
a huge mess!
Danny!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Call my dad and tell him
you can't sit for me.
No, Danny.
I'm not gonna do that.
Danny.
Gotcha!
Gotcha.
Danny,
let me out of here.
Call my dad.
I won't do it.
Danny, I'm not gonna do it.
Your dad has to work.
He's going
to a baseball game.
That's work to him.
Danny, your dad
and your mom love you,
but it's a big world
out there,
and they can't
spend every minute with you.
My dad hardly spends
any time with me at all.
How come
they don't wanna be with me?
I'm sure they do, Danny.
They love you.
It's just,
sometimes adults do things
that are impossible
to explain to kids.
Like Algebra.
What's Algebra?
Exactly.
So you're not
going to call?
Sorry, Charlie.
Now, what do you say
you let me out of here,
and we start
cleaning up this mess?
Sorry, Charlie.
Oh, and by the way,
watch out for Iggy.
I think
he's in there with you.
(Screaming)
Danny, you know
I don't like lizards.
Told you I could be bad.
Danny, this is really,
really mean.
Call my dad.
(Exasperated sighing)
(Dialling)
Hi, Mr. Parker.
Danny wanted me to call.
Is everything okay?
Well...
Yeah, I'm still here. I think
Danny wants to talk to you.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, Danny.
What's going on, buddy?
Hi, Dad.
Are you doing Algebra?
Algebra?
Why do you ask about that?
I think it's something
that grownups do
that they can't
explain to kids, right?
I suppose so.
When you're gone
all the time,
is that for something that
grownups can't explain to kids?
That's exactly what it is.
Is something wrong?
I'm just really sorry
I've been acting bad, Dad.
It's just something that kids
can't explain to grownups.
Kind of like Pokmon.
(Chuckling)
Makes sense to me.
I don't like being bad.
I know you don't, Danny.
I just miss
spending time with you.
I miss spending time
with you too.
Okay, have fun at
the baseball game. I mean it.
I will.
Hey, I have a surprise for you.
What?
You're coming with me.
We got to the game
and decided
it just wouldn't
be any fun without you,
so we're coming back
to get you.
You and Mom?
No, Mom's
still at the game.
I'm bringing my client,
so make a good impression, okay?
Okay.
We're only
a couple of blocks away.
I'll see you
in two minutes.
He's excited.
He's coming back
to get me.
That's great, Danny.
I'm sorry, Janelle.
I was a real jerk to you.
Oh, it's okay.
I mean,
I like sour cream.
So when's your dad
coming home?
About two minutes.
BOTH:
Two minutes?!
I'll help you clean up.
Hey, buddy.
Ready to go to a baseball game?
You bet!
Thanks.
Sorry about the change.
Oh, no problem.
It's my pleasure.
Me and Danny always have
a great time. Don't we, Danny?
Thanks, Janelle,
for everything.
(Creaking)
I'll just grab a jacket.
No!
No!
You look really hip
like that.
And a jacket
is just going to
make you look old.
Mm-hm.
Okay.
Yeah, lookin' good.
Let's hit it.
(Creaking)
(Engine starting)
(Creaking)
DANNY:
All right, he got it!
JIM:
Great play!
Did you see that?
DANNY:
Yes!
Thanks for coming back
for me, Dad.
Oh, no problem, buddy.
But your mom had a little
something to do with it.
'Cause you guys
are a team, right?
We're all a team.
Yeah.
I know.
And I'm sorry
I wasn't helping out.
Sorry I wasn't
home that much, buddy.
I'm gonna try
to be home more, okay?
Thanks, Dad.
But you know I still have to
be away a little bit.
It's part of my job.
Algebra, remember?
I know.
But when you go out,
can you make sure that it's
Janelle who stays with me?
I think we can
promise you that, sweetie.
Yeah.
No one else will.
Here comes the ball!
Here it comes!
Catch it, catch it!
(Cheering)
You caught the ball!
That's my boy!
(Laughing)