Backwards Faces (2022) Movie Script
1
(soft music)
(upbeat music)
- So, how was I?
- Sorry.
- I mean, sexually,
was I any good?
- Ummm
- I mean, I know you probably
didn't think I was good,
but well, did you think
I was at least average?
How many men have you
been with, by the way?
- I don't think it
lasted long enough
for me to have
much of an opinion,
although in general
not lasting long enough
to leave an impression
is usually a bad sign.
- Well, that's one
way of looking at it.
- Name another.
- Didn't last long enough
for me to make any mistakes.
- It wouldn't go that far.
- Okay.
- You asked.
- Well, only because I
thought you'd be gentle.
Do you have any
constructive criticism?
I mean, things I can fix.
- How about some small talk?
- I can't fix my penis.
- Are you being clever?
- Self deprecating.
I've been told some
women find it charming.
- Right.
Have you seen any
good movies lately?
- Small talk it is.
- I saw this one film last week,
"To Gesbar from
Guinevere", was brilliant.
Have you seen it?
- Seen it? I
practically wrote it.
- Really?
How does one practically
write something?
- Well, I came up with the idea.
- You have a story by credit.
- No, I came up with
the idea separately.
- Separately,
separately from what?
- From Alan Davidson.
- Who's Alan Davidson?
- The writer.
- So, you didn't write it?
- Not with Davidson,
I wrote it separately.
- Are you credited?
- Maybe I'm being confusing.
Look, it was a case
of parallel thinking
and Davidson and
I have never met
yet we both had the
same idea for a story
and separately from one
another wrote said story.
- So you both had
an idea for a film
about a girl who falls
in love with her father.
- Well, in my version, the love
interest wasn't her father.
- Who was it?
- Just a man.
- So it was a story about a girl
who falls in love with a man,
a man who wasn't her father.
- Yeah.
Upon hearing it aloud,
I see how that may sound
somewhat dissimilar
from Davidson's final film.
But if you read my treatment,
well, there's more
similarities in the story beats
and things like that.
You know, I did consider
having the love incestuous.
Incestuous love can be quite
provocative if done tastefully.
- Why didn't you?
- Kept having this
idea that my own father
would see the film.
- And?
- And I don't know,
he'd get the wrong idea.
- What idea?
- I don't know that maybe I had
a crush on him or something.
- Ew.
- I know, well,
that's why I made sure
the love interest
was not her father.
Honestly, I wonder about
Davidson sometimes,
I wonder what his father
thinks of his work.
- Right, do you mind if I smoke?
- It's not a deal breaker, no.
Oh, you meant in here?
I was thinking
about your problem.
- What problem?
- You know your problem.
- What about it?
- Well, I think I
might have a solution.
- Oh.
- Yeah, But it's odd
and semi unbelievable.
- Okay.
- All right, how do you feel
about your current reality?
- Is that a rhetorical question?
- Would I pause for
an answer if it was?
- Like you did just that.
- That was more of
a dramatic pause.
- Disillusioned.
- A disillusioned pause.
- I wasn't correcting
you, I was answering you,
I feel disillusioned
by my reality.
- Right, well, that's good.
- Is it?
- Good for the purposes
of solving your problem.
- Right, so the solution is.
- The solution is.
Will you remind me
of the problem again?
- You have a solution
to my problem,
but you don't remember
what my problem is?
- I remember that
you have a problem,
and that's the great
thing about my solution.
It's 100% effective
against any problem.
- Right, and Ken, how is
your relationship to reality?
- Tenuous.
- Sounds that way.
- So, do you wanna hear my
100% fully guaranteed solution
of any problem?
- If you say, Jesus
Christ, I'm leaving.
- Don't worry, I'm an atheist.
Actually more
accurately a nihilist
and I think you're already
planning on leaving anyway.
- It's nothing personal,
just if I can't smoke here.
- And if I told you you
could, would you stay?
- I'd probably still leave
just with the worst excuse.
- You don't like me?
- We just met.
- 10 Hours ago.
- We slept for four
of those hours.
- So that's even
more impressive.
It only took me six hours
to realize I liked you.
- Took me six seconds.
- I think they call that
love at first sight.
- Six seconds to
realize you liked me.
I think they call that
premature ejaculation.
- Okay, I feel like you want
me to apologize for that
being that it's the second
time you've brought it up.
- No need, I'm a
theoretical physicist,
I don't believe in
the concept of time.
- Oh, well, I'm a nihilist,
I don't believe in anything.
- That must be convenient.
- I can't complain,
but only because that's
not something nihilist do.
- Yeah, no, I got it.
Ken, have you seen my necklace?
- Not over here?
- It's gold with a diamond.
- If I see a necklace,
I'll assume it's yours.
- You don't get many visitors?
- Not many would take
their clothes off.
- Your dad has been
around in a while?
- Was that a joke?
- Maybe not if I were
talking to Davidson.
That was a joke.
- Right, I forgot you
were a psych major.
- You did forget, minor.
Remember last night
you told your friends
you were gonna go through
all of Freud's developmental
stages with me?
- No, but those are.
- Oral, anal and phallic.
- Oh, yikes.
- Yeah, all for three.
- Sorry about that.
- Again, no need to apologize,
although that is an
offensive stereotype.
- Premature ejaculation?
- Psychologist being obsessed
with edible instincts.
- I thought edible instincts
were only when you
wanna bang your mom.
Also, you were the one
who brought up my dad.
- And you were the
one who linked it back
to my sex studies.
- Do you not like me because
you don't know enough about me?
- Sorry.
- You said you just met me,
that would indicate
that you don't like me
because you don't
really know me.
- Sure.
- Okay, so let me tell
you a bit about myself.
- I'd really rather
if you didn't.
- It's the only way we'll know.
- Know what?
- We're meant to be together.
- I'm getting the sneaking
suspicion that we aren't.
- Well see, that's
important for me to know.
- Did you look
underneath the covers?
- It's not there, I
have a peanut allergy.
- Are those two
sentences related?
- I wanna tell you
more about myself.
I have a peanut allergy,
I'm a grad student in
the film department.
When I was eight years old
I peed my pants at a magic show.
- You're a grad student?
- Didn't really expect
that's what you'd latch onto.
- Are grad students supposed
to sleep with undergrad?
- It's not a requirement, no.
- Is it frowned upon?
- Why would it be?
- Age difference?
- Coming from the girl who
doesn't believe in time.
- That was a reference to
the way we experience entropy
and not an excuse
for pedophilia.
- Pedophilia, how old are you?
- Relax, I was being
hyperbolic, I'm 22,
- 23, what's entropy?
- A measurement.
- Of what?
- Molecular disorder.
- My friend had a
molecular disorder.
- No, not a molecular
disorder, just disorder,
randomness, uncertainty.
- So, in relation to time.
- A few moments ago,
you said you thought
you should apologize,
apologize for what?
- Not lasting longer.
- Right, and by lasting
longer, what do you mean?
- You need me to explain that?
- Well, it's actually
not so clear.
See, the amount of time
that we spend having
sex is relative,
but it's relative
only to itself.
So for example, time
moves slightly faster
at higher altitudes,
we're at about sea
level here in Hoboken,
but if we drove upstate to
Mount Marcy or somewhere
and had sex on top of a
mountain that's like 5,000 feet,
so technically
we'd be having sex
for a shorter amount of time,
but that wouldn't make you feel
like you lasted any
longer at sea level
because that's not the type
of lasting longer you're
referencing, is it?
- Mount Marcy's in Keen, right?
That's like, it's like
a four hour drive,
I have class at 9:00.
- It's not a proposition, Ken,
the point I'm making
is that we can discuss
theoretical properties of time,
but that won't affect the way
that we actually relate to them.
- So, you're saying.
- So I'm saying I can understand
how when Newtonian
classical mechanics
that past and the future are
both theoretically knowable.
- You can see the future?
- Theoretically, yeah.
- Practically?
- Practically no, but
the reason I can't
isn't so simple as, because
it hasn't happened yet.
The only thing pushing times
zero forward is entropy,
and besides that,
there's no reason why
where we've been should
be any more vivid
than where we're going.
But unfortunately, the past
is an area of lower entropy.
- Why is that unfortunate?
- Well, maybe it
isn't universally,
but I for one, I'm not in love
with being irrevocably
linked in my past,
that seems like a waste of
perfectly good low entropy,
I'd much rather see
where I'm going,
especially when I don't
have much in the way
of things worth remembering.
- Well, you haven't heard
the magic show story yet?
- Okay, tell me.
- Well, no, no, now
there's too much pressure.
I mean, it's good,
but not so good
that it'll cure your weird
existential quantum depression.
- Right, I should get going.
- So, you still don't like me?
- It's really uncomfortable
that you keep asking me that.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
But imagine if we did just make
small talk the whole morning?
If we just talked about
movies for an hour
and not even incestuous
ones, boring ones,
I'd try calling you
tonight and tomorrow
and then wait a
week and try again.
- That's alarming.
- The point is, I'd wonder
why you weren't answering.
I'd say, gee, that's
odd, Sid had a really.
- Sydney.
- Sorry.
- My name is Sydney.
- You said your
friends called you Sid.
- They do.
- Right, well, I'd
say, gee, that's odd,
Sydney seemed to have a
really great time last night.
We had a great discussion
about German expressionism.
Now I know that
you don't like me
and I shouldn't waste my time.
- Oh yeah, God forbid you waste
another three seconds with me.
- You're a liar, you
totally believe in time.
- Okay, well, you're a liar too,
you said you're a nihilist
and you clearly care
whether I like you or not.
- I'm a nihilist, but
I'm also a romantic,
I can't help it.
Your necklace is on my dresser.
(soft music)
- Can I see it?
Is the diamond real?
- I don't know, it was a gift.
- Notice how it fogs
up from my breath
Diamonds don't fog.
- Did someone tell
you that was charming?
- It wasn't.
- I don't like you, Ken.
- I pretty much shielded, huh?
- I mean, you
weren't doing great,
but that was definitely
the cherry on top.
So, what's your solution?
- Sorry.
- It's my problem,
what's your solution?
- Jesus Christ.
- What did I say?
- That was an exclamation,
not an answer.
Have you seen my keys?
- I haven't, but if I see some,
I'll be sure to breathe on
them to see if they're real.
- That only works on diamonds.
- And fake diamonds.
- There's no shame in
having fake diamonds.
- Oh, trust me, on the
long list of things
currently causing
me to feel shame,
my fake diamond necklace
is at the bottom.
- All right.
I know how you got the answers.
- Excuse me.
- I know how you
got the answers.
I know your problem.
You're getting
kicked outta school
for cheating on an exam.
- I know, I told
you that last night
and you pretended you didn't
remember this morning.
- Yeah, well, something
jogged my memory.
But what you didn't tell me
is how you got the answers.
- How'd I do that?
- Through blackmail,
Professor Slack.
- How do you know that?
- Do you wanna know my
solution to your problem?
My bathroom is a
unique structure
that links disparate
points in space time.
- That's where
you're going with?
Your solution to
my cheating scandal
is that your bathroom
is a wormhole?
- Yes.
- Is this a physics joke?
- Wouldn't be very funny.
- Well see, your jokes aren't.
- Listen Sydney, this is a
solution to your problem,
to all your problems.
I know it sounds crazy,
but this was actually discovered
by an expert in the field.
- An expert in the
field of quantum physics
discovered this
in your bathroom.
- Yep.
- Who? Einstein, Thorn?
- You did.
- Sorry.
- You figured it out.
- Really? I did, when?
- Two weeks ago.
- Two weeks ago, we
met last night, Ken.
- Yeah, we did, here.
But as I'm sure you are aware,
and I mean that literally,
I'm sure you are aware
that all possible outcomes
are realized in the many
world's interpretation.
So, there exists a world
where we met last night,
a world where we
met a month ago,
a world where we'll
meet tomorrow,
a world where you like me
and a world where you don't.
- A world where I think
you're a crazy person.
- Exactly.
- But you live in
that world, Ken,
not the world where
we met two weeks ago
and I was nice enough to check
your bathroom for wormholes.
- Traversable wormholes,
and yes, I did.
I'm here now, but I'm
from somewhere else.
- Right, as easy as it
is for me to believe
that you're from a
different universe,
I'm still a little
skeptical on the concept.
- I'd let you give it a try
but the results are
rather permanent.
Once you go in, you have to know
you're never coming back here.
- Something you grappled with.
- No, no, for me it was
a rather simple decision.
- Of course, and this
solves my problem how?
- All possible
outcomes are realized.
To me, that was just a saying,
just a way to think
about the multiverse
until I saw "To
Gesbar from Guinevere"
and I realized something,
that could have been me.
- Who? Gesbar or Guinevere.
- Davidson.
I could have been Davidson.
If all possible outcomes
exist in the multiverse,
there exists a universe where
I made the love incestuous
and I wrote "To Gesbar
from Guinevere".
- Wow.
- I know.
And not just that,
the possibilities are
legitimately endless.
I buy a lottery ticket here,
there automatically
exists a universe
where I win the jackpot,
all I need to do is find it.
- So your idea is for
me to find a universe
where I didn't cheat and
get kicked outta school?
- If that's what you want.
But I mean, why settle for that?
Maybe there's a universe
where you're getting
your PhD at MIT.
Maybe there's a universe
where you're the next Freud,
if that's a good thing,
I don't really know.
Either way, you'll need this.
- What the fuck, Ken?
- What?
- Why do you need
the fucking gun?
- Well, once you get
to the right universe
and find a place you wanna stay,
you can't live with yourself.
- The guilt?
- Huh? No.
I mean you literally
can't live with yourself.
- Ken.
- You need to kill yourself.
- Because of the guilt?
- No, Sydney, not because
of the guilt, not suicide,
you need to kill
your other self.
Look, that bathroom
works both ways.
Just like I wanna
find somewhere better,
so do my other selves.
So, if someone comes
through that bathroom door
and decides they wanna stay,
they know I need to go.
Give us a whole new
meaning to self-loathing.
I mean, every single day
I'm confronted by
my worst tendencies.
- Yeah, you and me both.
- No, no.
You may think you've seen
the worst of yourself,
but trust me, there are
recesses of your being
that do not need confronting.
- I'm looking for a billion
dollar lottery ticket
and only having to
kill yourself over,
it doesn't sound
that Colonel Ken,
I've considered killing
myself over much less.
- The pronouns may be the same,
but it's a little
different than suicide.
- Have you done it?
- Like I said,
I'm not from here,
but I'm here now and
no other Kens are.
- So, that's what the first
known traversable wormhole
discovered in space
time is used for?
A bunch of Kens
killing each other
to write the major
wrongs of their lives?
- Not necessarily.
- Oh.
- We've killed each other
over our fair share of
minor wrongs as well.
Actually, just the other day
I had to shoot
another me in the face
because he ran out of
milk in his universe
and went looking for one
where he remembered to
go grocery shopping.
How was that for colonel?
- Yeah, that's pretty bad.
But also just sort
of impractical.
- Well, that's the thing
about being connected
to infinite worlds.
A logic and reason get thrown
out the window pretty quick
especially when you know all
possible outcomes are realized.
Think about your problem.
When I gave you this
solution, did you consider it?
- If this was real, maybe.
- Well that's enough, right?
All possible outcomes exist.
So, if you've thought about it,
you've already set
it in the motion,
there now exists an
infinite amount of universes
where you've decided to do it,
and an infinite
amount of universes
where you've decided not to.
You know, there is
something kind of fair
about the many worlds.
See, if I consider
doing something,
it doesn't really matter
if I do or do not,
both outcomes are realized.
In our singular world,
we're judged based
on what we do.
We can have evil thoughts
and terrible impulses,
but we're judged
based on how we act.
In the multiverse, we're
judged on our thoughts,
on our contemplations,
the things that
used to be private
now confront us at
our bathroom doors.
In a way, it's kind of
an odd form of justice.
We're finally being
held accountable for
who we really are.
And the person holding
us accountable is,
well, also who we really are.
Funny how that works.
Well, not ha ha funny.
- So you think if I go
looking for a universe
where I didn't cheat
and end up getting
shot in the face
by someone else doing
the same, that's justice.
- Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you wanna know what
kind of person you really are?
Stand by the bathroom door
and watch what comes out.
There's another one of
these in the closet.
(upbeat music)
- But where are you going?
- Like I said, I'm looking
for something better,
this isn't it.
Hell, who knows?
Maybe I'll find a universe
where you think the
diamond thing is charming.
- Friendly advice, I'd
settle for the billion dollars.
(upbeat music)
- Wait, aren't you gonna
put pants on first?
- Pants, where I'm going,
I don't need pants.
- What?
- Nah, I'm just kidding.
I'll just take a pair of
pants after I kill him.
- So this is, you're really
gonna walk into that bathroom
and expect to come out
in a different universe?
- Yeah.
- Well I'll be here
when you get out.
- Yeah, in a way you
probably will be.
- No, me, me, not
a different me.
- Okay.
- So this isn't a joke,
you really believe this,
you are really telling
me that your bathroom
is a traversable
inter-universal wormhole.
- No Sydney, you told me.
- Ken, did it work?
Oh my God, why
would you do that?
Did you think that was cool?
Was that supposed to be funny?
What the fuck dude,
you're a fucking freak that.
- Sorry about that babe.
- Where'd you get that rob?
- Your mom got it for me.
- Is that supposed to be a joke?
- No, she got it for
me last Christmas.
You eat yet?
- You're actually a
pretty good actor.
- I don't get it.
- Do you do this
to a lot of people?
- Do what?
- You know, I don't like it
when strangers use
my bathroom either,
but there are easier
ways to keep people out.
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, Daniel Day,
so you don't break.
This is impressive, but
it's also very creepy
and any humor that I
may have found in it
went out the window when
you showed me the gun.
- Babe, you're freaking me out.
- Babe, so this is a universe
where we're what? Dating?
- It's a weird way of saying it,
but I guess technically
true, did you?
Did something happen while
I was in the bathroom?
- Don't do that,
don't, I'm leaving.
- Wait, wait, wait, stop.
- I swear to God, can I
know where the other gun is?
- Okay, you're actually
scaring me now.
Can you just have a seat
and let's talk a minute?
- Please get outta my way, Ken.
- What happened while
I was in the bathroom?
- Nothing, you were in
there for five seconds.
- Well, a lot can
happen in five seconds.
- Only when it comes
to your sex life.
- I don't get it.
- Oh my God, do not pretend
you don't understand
that reference.
- Reference to what?
- Premature ejaculation,
premature ejaculation.
You're a crazy person.
- Well you're the one
yelling premature in my face.
- I swear to God,
Ken get outta my way.
- Sometimes I wish I
knew what was going on
in that head of yours.
- You wish you knew what
was going on in my head?
I've known you for 10 hours
and I can't get to really know
whether you're full of shit
or just believe your own shit.
- 10 Hours?
- Oh, I get it, we've
known each other for what?
Two years or whatever the
story is in this universe?
- Three years, we've known
each other for three years,
and I think you should sit down.
- I should sit down, why?
- Because I'm worried you
hit your head or something
because you're scaring me.
- This is gaslighting,
you are gaslighting,
this is psychological abuse.
- I'm not trying to.
- You're telling me you're
from a different universe.
- I've never said that.
- You're implying
it, and actually,
yes, you did tell me you were
from a different universe
before you went
into the bathroom.
- We didn't talk before
I went into the bathroom,
you weren't even up yet.
- I wasn't up yet.
You are standing in
front of me lying
and disguising it is proof
of the mini world's
interpretation.
- Sydney, ask
yourself something,
am I that good of a liar?
- Everybody's that
good of a liar.
- What?
- Psychological
studies have shown
that human lie
detector techniques
and inadvertent "tales
of pseudoscience"
no human being whether an
expert in detection or otherwise
can tell whether
another human is lying
with any greater certainty
than guessing the
outcome of a coin toss
so that can lead due to
one of two conclusions.
Number one, no human is an
expert at detecting lies,
number two, all humans
are experts at lying.
14% of the world is illiterate
and 100% are expert liars,
we learn how to lie before
we learn how to read.
- Why is that?
- I don't know.
Probably the same reason we
don't have fucking gills.
- And why don't we
have fucking gills?
- 'Cause we don't
live under water, Ken.
- I still don't get it.
You push your hair
back when you lie.
- How do you know that?
- Because tells may
be pseudoscience,
but genuine human interaction
and connection isn't.
When you lie to me,
which isn't frequent
and almost always
the white variety,
you push your hair
back, that's your tell.
- This is so fucked up
and now I can't even like.
I think that's the
most fucked up part,
the part of me that believes,
wants to believe that your
bathroom is a wormhole.
- Yeah, that is fucked up.
Why do you think our
bathroom is a wormhole?
- 'Cause you told me it was.
- Sydney, listen, I love you.
- Don't be gross.
- Okay.
Obviously you are in a
sensitive place right now,
I can respect that,
I'm just gonna sit down, okay?
Why don't you try telling me
what happened this morning?
- Okay, but only in the off
chance that any of it was true.
- That makes no
sense to me but okay.
- You told me that your bathroom
was a traversable wormhole,
that it was a link between
infinite universes,
you go in here and you
come out somewhere else.
- Well, I went in and came
back out in my apartment.
- Right, but is
it your apartment
or is it your apartment
in another universe?
And then how could we?
Oh my God, why am I
convincing you of this?
- Well, let's test it, right?
That's what they do in science.
I'll go back into
the bathroom and see
if I end up in a universe
where you remember me
and our life together.
- You can't.
- Why not?
- Because it's not just a link
between two points
and space time,
it's a link between
an infinite amount
of disparate points
in space time.
- Which means?
- Your chances of getting
back to where you started
are roughly one in infinity.
- Are you fucking with me?
- Hey, it's my life.
- No, this isn't funny.
If this is true,
if this is true that
I'm never gonna see Sid,
my Sid again,
I'm never gonna get
back to where I'm from,
I'm gonna be stuck
here with you.
- No offense taken.
- You who hates me,
you who is crazy.
- Are you okay?
- I'm having a panic attack.
- Oh.
- I need you to help
me through it, okay?
You help me through them,
you need to help me through it.
- Okay, what do I
normally tell you to do?
- Name things in the room.
- Okay, I guess I'll
name the table, Pete?
- Don't fucking tell
me to name things.
- Okay, fine, what do
you wanna call a table?.
- Don't give them
a fucking name.
Okay, okay, okay,
white wall, lamp,
painting, giant table.
Okay, remote, carpet, door knob.
I'm sorry for yelling.
- It's okay.
(Ken sobbing gently)
So you really don't
remember this morning?
So, what now.
- I don't know, I don't
know anything about this.
I mean, why am I here?
Are my friends the
same, my parents?
I mean, clearly my
girlfriend hates me.
- Well, not entirely true.
I'm technically, I'm
not your girlfriend.
And I guess if this is
real, I don't hate you.
- Really?
- Yeah, that would be unfair.
I hate the version
of you I met here,
I hope you don't
find this insulting,
but you're kind of a douche.
I'd hate for you to judge
me on my other self, so.
- Oh my God.
- What?
- My Sydney, she doesn't know.
She could be out in the
universe somewhere too
or another Ken
could have shown up.
My girlfriend could be
cheating on me, with myself?
- Well, not technically
cheating then, is it?
I'm just saying this is
all pretty new stuff here
but what really separates
us from other selves.
- Other than being
objectively different people.
- Subjectively, based on
your personal feelings
about what a person is.
- We don't share a
consciousness, we're different.
- Okay, well, consciousness
is a lousy indicator,
it can only survive
in the present moment,
you're only aware of your
current surroundings.
Theoretically, you and
yourself three years ago,
don't share a common
consciousness.
By your definition, are
you different people?
Did your girlfriend cheat
on you with your past self
or is she currently cheating
on your past self with you?
Or are they two entirely
different relationships?
Is this Sydney you
know even still exist?
- Is this supposed to
make me feel better?
- No, I have no interest
in cheering you up,
I'm just saying there's
really no difference
between space and time.
A different you in
a different space
and a different you
in a different time
are both quantitatively
the same you, I guess
share the same difference.
I suppose if this
newfound discovery
of a traversable
Einstein Rosen bridge
in your bathroom can teach
us anything, it's this
or even more meaningless
than we originally thought,
our choices mean nothing
because they aren't
even choices.
We have no individuality
because there are infinite
versions of us exactly like us,
and we have no
self-determination
because they're infinite
versions of us nothing like us.
With infinite worlds comes
infinite implications.
It would be impossible
to even begin
to wrap one's mind around
what any of this means.
How many choices did I make
in the past 30 seconds?
How many times did I choose
one word over another?
How many universes
did that create?
How many versions
of this conversation
are currently happening?
(Ken sobs gently)
Many Kens comes many problems.
(upbeat music begins)
- Many Kens come
get it like jizz?
Any who, you guys
got any milk here?
(Ken laughs hysterically)
- Is he gonna kill me?
- I don't know, but this is
real.
- What are you doing?
- I wanna go talk to him.
There's another
gun in the closet.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, don't move, Ken.
- Hi Ken.
- What's up?
My name is Sydney.
- I know.
- Oh.
- Yeah, we've met before,
if you know what I mean.
- Well, I knew what you meant
before you asked if I knew.
- I banged you.
- Right, great.
- Did he bang you?
- No, no, he didn't.
You leave your own
universe for free milk?
- No.
- No?
So you came for something else?
- I came here for free milk.
I left where I'm
from a while ago,
now I just sort of hop around.
- Looking for anything specific?
- You ever seen,
"Groundhogs Day."
- A movie?
- Well, that's what
my life is like.
- You're stuck in a time loop?
- No, not stuck.
Every day I wake up,
hop into the bathroom
and do whatever I want
wherever I end up.
When it's all over,
I hop back in the bathroom
and go somewhere else.
- When you say
whatever you want.
- Whatever I want.
You might not understand,
but this guy does.
- What do you want to do here?
- I haven't decided yet.
- I'm assuming you never
wanna do nice things.
- I gave up on the concept
of right and wrong a while ago.
Every possible outcome
is realized, right?
- Right.
- So, when I think,
should I blow up the
admissions building
with everyone inside
just to see how it feels?
Well, someone has
to do it, right?
- Theoretically yes, but
it doesn't have to be you.
- Oh, I know, but it's
a lot more fun if it is.
Besides, it's not like I'm
actually hurting anyone.
- Blowing people up
is not hurting them?
- No one's talking to you fatty.
- Fat?
- It's just I hate
seeing myself.
Insecurities come off as insults
attempts to be self deprecating
or just deprecating.
- Yeah, well we don't
look that similar,
your face is backwards.
- So is yours dumbass.
- Well, you've only ever seen
yourself in a mirror before,
technically, this is what
your face actually looks like.
- Oh man.
- Excuse me.
- Okay, I see what
you mean, sorry.
- So, when you say they
don't feel anything.
- You know what I mean.
- Quantum suicide?
- What's that?
- Another implication of the
mini world's interpretation.
All possible outcomes
are realized.
So technically, we're
all officially immortal.
- What?
- Well, as long as the
cause of death is quantum
like only as long as.
- I rig the bomb to explode
based on a 50-50
random occurrence?
- Something like that, yeah.
If all possible
outcomes are realized,
the bomb both
explodes and doesn't.
- So, what about the
universe where it does?
- Well, they all die.
You talked about how
consciousness makes a man.
Well, your consciousness
is automatically gonna go
to the universe where you live
because there's
nowhere else to go.
It's kind of like being a
cat in Schrodinger's cat
from his perspective, he
never eats the poison.
- Why not?
- Because if he did, he
wouldn't have a perspective.
- Right.
- Very psychological of you.
- I'm a minor.
- Oh, gross, is that
why he didn't bang you?
- A psych minor,
Jesus Christ dude.
And that's not psychology,
that's theoretical physics,
which I guess is no
longer theoretical.
- Are you gonna kill me?
- Well, we'll see.
I can guarantee in at
least one universe I won't.
- Right and wrong.
- Doesn't so much
apply anymore, does it?
- [Ken] Ken, get this,
I found an us who
wears a fake mustache.
- Over.
- [Ken] Well, over
his upper lip,
where else would you
wear a fake mustache?
- No Ken, when you're done
talking you say over, over.
- [Ken] You say
over or over, over?
Over, over?
- No, you just say over, over
but not over, over.
I'm saying over and then.
- Who is that?
- [Ken] Who's that?
- Another Ken.
- [Ken] Doesn't sound
like another Ken.
- No, Ken, it's another
Sydney, you're another Ken.
- [Ken] Well, from my
perspective, you're another Ken,
I'm just Ken.
- Okay, but I'm speaking
from my perspective,
you know the way every
human being talks? Over.
- [Ken] Talks over what?
Oh nevermind, I get it, over.
- How are you speaking with him?
- Walkie-talkie.
- Obviously, I
meant, where is he?
- Another universe.
- You can do that?
- Yeah, I met him and
gave him a walkie-talkie,
we stay in contact, tell
each other what we see.
- [Ken] By the way, not a
fake mustache, it's real.
Dunno why I thought
it was fake, over.
- I see you two are
doing important work.
- We're just trying to
make a bit more sense
outta this senseless universe.
- A senseless universe
that has great signal.
- Well why wouldn't it?
Technically there's no
real distance between them,
it's not as though they
actually exist in space time,
they're all here.
- I guess that makes sense,
but only because it
doesn't make sense.
- Crazy world.
- Worlds.
- Sorry, can we go back to
whether you're gonna kill me?
- [Ken] Who's that?
- Another Ken.
- [Ken] Another Ken
from my perspective
or another Ken from
your perspective?
- Another Ken from both
of our perspectives.
- [Ken] Right, and
which Ken is this?
- Which Ken are you
or which Ken are we?
- [Ken] Which Ken are you?
Why would I ask which Ken I am?
- Well, I'm the original Ken.
- No, I'm the original Ken.
- I was here first.
- Technically neither of
you are the original Ken.
But for convenience sake,
maybe you should be Ken
one and you be Ken two.
- [Ken] I don't like numbers,
sounds like a ranking.
- It's not a ranking,
it's chronological.
- [Ken] From your perspective.
- Yes, everyone is speaking
from their perspective.
- [Ken] What about
letters instead?
I'll be Ken A.
- You would be Ken C.
- [Ken] I don't wanna be Ken C.
- How about if he's
Kenny and I'm Kenneth?
- [Ken] Why would we skip
all the way to E and F?
- Not Ken E, Kenny.
If we're doing
letters, Kenny can be.
- [Ken] It can be what?
- No, she's saying
Kenny can be Ken B.
- [Ken] So I'm Ken C?
I said I don't wanna be Ken C.
- Why does the Ken on the
phone even need a letter?
He can't come here, can he?
- [Ken] Sorry, are you
saying Kenny or Ken E?
- Neither, he's Ken B.
- [Ken] He can be what?
- No, he's Ken B.
- [Ken] Who?
- Him.
- He can't see.
- [Ken] I'm not Ken C, you
can't just make me Ken C.
- Yes, we can.
- [Ken] Cannot.
- Ken two.
- I thought we
weren't doing numbers.
- Jesus Christ, can we, can we,
not Ken three or Kenny or Ken E,
can we put the walkie-
talkie aside for a moment?
- Ken, I gotta let
you go over and out.
- [Ken] Wait, what
does and out mean?
- Okay, first of all,
why are you in contact
with another Ken?
- Two heads are better than one.
- Not when it comes to Ken's,
no head would be
better than his one.
- That's kind of ambiguous.
- What?
- Yeah, it is.
When you say no head would
be better than his one.
Are you saying his one
is worse than none at all
or there's no head in the
universe is better than his?
Like he's the smartest?
- Are you two trying
to prove my point?
'Cause you're actually
doing a good job.
- That's all so ambiguous.
- Oh my God, it is.
Because if we're
doing a good job
proving two Kens
are worse than one,
then we've actually proven
that two Kens are
better than one.
- Are you gonna shoot him soon?
- I don't know, he's
kind of growing on me.
- I like self-loathing
kind better.
- Well, I like the Sydney
who banged me better.
Anything ambiguous about that?
- Actually yeah.
Do you mean you like the Sydney
that did a better
job banging you
or you just like the Sydney
you had sex with better?
- Have you banged
multiple Sydney's?
- I live a consequence
free existence
in the multiverse infinite
levels of low self-esteem.
So yeah, I've banged
a few Sydney's,
banged a few Kens also.
- Are you gay?
- Is masturbation gay?
- Is masturbation the same
as having sex with yourself?
- That's pretty
much the definition.
- Is it technically incest?
- Maybe we're asking the
wrong questions here.
- Yeah.
Who's on top?
- No, Ken, what I
mean is, is it random?
- Is what?
- Where you go,
where you end up,
do you have any way of
knowing or controlling,
can a Ken ever go
back home again?
- I think you're thinking
of it incorrectly.
There's no real home.
We're multiplying
at an insane rate.
The world you left
has since morphed
into a million
different new worlds.
Which one are you
trying to get back to?
- Any of them.
Just one that feels like home.
- Well, lucky for you.
There exist an infinite
amount of worlds out there
that will feel just like home.
- But I'll know it isn't real.
- Trust me, Ken,
even if you made it back
to where you started,
it would still
feel just as fake.
There's no going back
to how you used to live.
- According to you.
- Who is also you.
- Why should you get to use
the multiverse like this?
Why are you allowed to treat it
like your own
personal playground?
- We all can.
- Well, not all of us want to,
some of us just wanna be left
alone in our own universe.
- I didn't make you
go into the bathroom.
- I know, here you are.
- So what are you gonna do?
- What do you mean?
- What's your plan?
What's in store for your wacky
"Groundhog Day" escapades?
- I'm gonna cut one of
you up into little pieces
and make the other one eat them.
- Right.
Well I guess you'll be
cutting up Ken then.
- I'm sorry, why?
- Has something changed?
Last night you
seem pretty intent
on not putting any part
of me in your mouth
and now you're prepared
to do the full mazy?
- First of all, that wasn't me,
secondly, canalingus is a
long shot from cannibalism,
and thirdly, he's not
gonna be cutting anyone up.
- No, I am.
- What, why?
- I don't know.
I guess I used to
consider myself a nihilist
before the bathroom days.
But once I really saw how
meaningless this universe is,
I realized how much I cared
and felt before I found out.
And you know what
else I realized?
I liked it.
I liked caring and feeling
and I became nostalgic for it.
Or the nihilistic
equivalent of nostalgia.
See, being a nihilist
is a cool thing to say,
but in practice it's
rather depressing.
It's nice to feel things.
It's nice to believe in meaning.
I hope you won't judge
me too harshly for this.
And I mean that as empty
a platitude as possible.
I don't care how you
judge me, but know this,
it's hard to make
yourself care anymore,
it's hard to feel happy or
hopeful or proud, I've tried.
So this, well, shame and
repulsion don't feel as nice,
but they let me know I
still know how to feel
and that's good enough.
- You don't have to do this.
- Of course I do,
I'm a psychopath.
- But you don't seem
like a psychopath.
- Well, he did say he was
gonna cut one of us up
and make the other one eat them.
- No, yeah, I'm just saying,
outside of that he seems normal.
Have you ever thought that
maybe you aren't a psychopath,
maybe you're just depressed?
- Jesus, Ken, he's
a psychopath, okay,
why is that so hard
for you to believe?
- Because if he's a psychopath
and that means I am too,
or at least I could be.
- Well fuck Ken, anyone
could be a psychopath.
I mean somewhere out
there everyone is,
it doesn't mean the versions
of ourselves who aren't
should feel responsible for it.
- I agree with Sydney.
It's not your fault I
do wacky shit like this.
- No, it is, at some point
we need to take
responsibility for ourselves,
for our other selves.
All possible outcomes of realize
is not an excuse for depravity,
depravity shouldn't
be a possible outcome.
Why do we settle for knowing
we barely escape
being our worst self?
- Well, it's not anyone's
fault that I am what I am,
I'm a product of the multiverse.
- That's a cop out.
The multiverse is
a product of us.
We aren't running around
shooting each other in the head
over empty milk cartons because
the universe is meaningless,
the universe is meaningless
because of how we
choose to treat it.
- Chicken and egg situation.
- Something like that.
- Well, I apologize, Ken,
but I do not share
your sentiment.
I don't think we can all
stand around and sing Kumbaya.
When did you find out
about the bathroom?
- Today.
- Right, give it time.
We all felt the same way
when we first found out.
There must be a
better way to use it,
there must be
something we can do.
- Well, did any of you try?
- What do you think?
There are different
Kens out there,
but we're all variations
of the same person.
You know me the
same way I know you,
the same way I know
every Ken I've ever met.
- You don't know me.
- Sure I do.
I can tell just
by looking at you.
I know what you're thinking
because I know what
I'd be thinking.
You're scared.
- You're gonna cut me
up in little pieces,
of course I'm scared,
it's not exactly a
stab in the dark.
- I meant you're always scared,
even when a psycho isn't about
to feed you to your girlfriend.
- Oh, we're not dating.
- You get nervous.
- So, everyone gets nervous.
- You have anxiety Ken.
- No, I don't.
- You did have a
panic attack earlier.
- You're a hypochondriac.
- I am not a
hypochondriac, I just,
I convince myself
that I am sometimes.
- Yeah, that's kind of the
definition of hypochondria.
- What does any of this matter?
- I'm saying I know you
and because I know you,
I know how you really feel.
You aren't standing
on your soapbox
because of any moral backbone
or wayward desire to see
the multiverse cleaned up,
you're just scared
of what's out there.
And if you could go back
to never knowing any of
this existed, you'd do it
because you don't wanna
help, you wanna run.
Give it time, that
fear always goes away.
But when it does,
you'll miss it.
- And then what?
I'm gonna force people
to eat each other
to get that feeling
back, I doubt it.
- The ken on the other
end of that walkie-talkie,
he was kind of
like you at first.
After a while he adjusted
to the meaninglessness,
he wasn't violent, but he
was desperate to feel again.
He was masturbating
17 times a day,
the people close to
him were worried.
- Worried he was gonna
get some on them?
(upbeat music)
Get it, people close to him
while he was masturbating.
- Huh, I get it.
(upbeat music)
- Is he gonna be
able to cut us up?
I thought we were immortal.
- Only when it comes to
qauntum causes of death.
- And being cut in
the little pieces is.
- It's our mistake.
In order to achieve
quantum immortality,
we need to enter a
seat of superposition
of being both alive and dead.
- Well, should we
just do that then
run away or something?
Why are we just sitting here?
- He's got a gun, we need
to get out of the closet.
- Sydney, meet Sydney.
- Yeah, the backwards
facing is kind of tricky.
- I'm Ken.
- I know, I was just
telling the other Ken,
I loved to gas bar Guinevere.
- What's that?
- The movie we wrote.
- We wrote a movie?
- Well, we conceived
of an idea for one,
some named Alan Davidson
got there first.
- Not where I'm from,
where I'm from it's
written by a Ken.
- So why are you here?
- Sorry.
- What are you looking for?
- What are you?
- I'm from this universe,
I'm one of those Sydney's
with personal accountability.
- She just found out
about the bathroom today.
- Ah.
- No, no, I mean I did, sure,
I learned about it today.
But no, not every
Sydney and not every Ken
ends up like you two, okay,
and I know, okay, I get it,
I get it makes you two
feel better about selves
to think that it's not
you, it's the multiverse.
And when you meet a couple of
squares like me and this Ken,
you think the only reason
we don't get our rocks off
on force cannibalism is
because we're still too green.
You can rationalize your
behavior however you'd like.
- Like, so can you?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Wait, what about cannibalism?
- I'm saying everyone
ends up this way,
you're saying that's not
true, what's the difference?
Both are just speculation.
- No, one is a
reasonable conclusion
and the other is
an outlandish claim
that all kinds of a
cannibalism fetish.
- She keeps saying
cannibalism, right?
Is someone gonna eat me?
Do you eat Sydney's?
- Relax, he doesn't eat anything
if you know what I mean.
- I do not.
- She means sexually.
- Sorry, what's the
relationship here?
- We've been dating
for three years.
- I just met him last night.
- And he didn't bang her
because she's a minor.
- A psych minor.
- He didn't bang you because
you're a psych minor?
- He didn't bang me, period.
- [Ken] He didn't bang
her on her period, over.
- That's what it
sounds like, over.
- How long has he
been listening?
- Sorry, who's that?
- [Ken] I'm the main Ken.
- The main Ken?
- [Ken] Well from
my perspective.
- What?
- He talks like that.
- [Ken] Why didn't he bang
her on her period? Over.
- I'm not on my period.
- So why didn't he bang you?
- He didn't bang me because he
is from a different universe
and one who was
from this universe
didn't really bang me either.
- [Ken] Because
you're a minor? Over.
- I am not a minor,
I am over 18, over.
- [Ken] Sorry, were
you done talking
or was that for emphasis?
- I was also confused.
- The point is it
makes no sense to say
we didn't get bang
because we're minors.
- Because we're 22?
- Because we don't
believe in time.
- [Ken] You don't
believe in time? Over.
- Well how do you
not believe in time?
- It's not that simple.
It has to do with entropy
and our inefficient,
incomplete understanding
of the flow of time.
Do I really have to
explain this again?
- Technically you've never
explained it to any of us.
Plus, the more time
you spend explaining,
the longer you get to wait
before you have to eat Ken.
- So you are saying
cannibalism, right.
- I'm thinking I'm gonna
make you eat him too.
I'm a bit of a psychopath.
- Right.
The basic idea is that
all of the equations
of fundamental physics
have nothing to distinguish
past from future,
they all work both ways.
Theoretically, time doesn't flow
in any particular direction,
the only instance in which it
does is when it comes to heat,
heat can never pass from a
cold body to a hot one, never.
I guess now all possible
outcomes are realized.
So theoretically there
could exist the universe
in which the basic
principles of thermodynamics
are backwards.
A universe in which
the patterns we observe
in the natural world flow
from a higher state of
entropy to a lower one,
the world here, the future
is theoretically knowable.
That's how you could get home.
- Oh my god.
Wait, sorry, what
did you just say?
- If you could find a universe
where entropy was reversed,
you could see your own future,
you could see which choices
would lead you where,
you could theoretically
know how each decision
to enter or not
enter the bathroom
would play out 40
years down the line.
You could take your
one in infinity odds
of getting back
and narrow it down
by seeing how each
choice plays out.
- Of course, if you made it
to one of those universes
that'd come at a cost, you'd
be giving up your past,
you'd be trading in your
memories for your future.
- She's right, you'd forget
all about your Sydney.
- So, if I forgot
all about my Sydney,
what would make me know
to try and find her?
- You'd have to trust your gut.
You'd have to trust that
what you had with her
is really what you
choose when confronted
with literally
endless alternatives.
Of course, there's
also the chance
you wouldn't even know you're
remembering past or future
I guess since no human being
is ever really remembered
their future before
we don't have a reference point
as to if it's played
any differently
than our current memories.
- You would need some sort
of a test for every universe,
a heat test.
- Exactly, you'd need.
- You'd need me
to change my mind
and not feed you
to the Sydney's.
- Right, well, if we're
just gonna wax theoretical
a bit longer before dinner,
what would be an
efficient test of entropy?
- The fog test.
- What's the fog test?
- You've met Kens before,
but you've never been
subjected to the fog test?
- No, never.
- Come on, it's
like their big move.
- I've never seen it.
Can you show me?
- Yeah, alright.
May I?
- Of course.
- Notice how it fogs
up for my breath?
Diamonds don't fog and, and.
(Ken gasps for air)
- Here's a tip, in the
multiverse again is nice,
but whenever enemy you
may encounter is a Ken,
a fake diamond necklace soaked
in some peanut oil is better.
- [Ken] Hey, get this,
I found another Ken with
a fake mustache, over.
- So, how does it work?
- Well, the reason
diamonds don't fog
is because they conduct heat
and disperse it quickly.
If entropy were reversed
and moved backwards,
cold particles would
move through hot ones.
Your breath wouldn't
fog up a fake diamond,
the fake diamond would
neutralize your breath.
- Basically, whenever
you get somewhere new,
breathe on the diamond,
keep going until it
doesn't fog anymore.
- I'm worried I'm gonna
choose something else
if I can't remember what I had.
- Wouldn't that just mean
it's actually what
you really want?
- No, no, it would be
an impulsive mistake.
A split decision
based on instinct
rather than logic
and experience.
- You can't still
think logically without
knowing your past.
- Don't we develop our own
logic based on our past?
- Sure, but that's not
necessarily a good thing.
- Thank you for not eating me
and for helping
me get back to you
or trying to get back to you.
Not you, you but
I don't think I need to clarify
what I mean by that anymore.
You get it?
(upbeat music)
- So what are you gonna do?
- Well, no offense,
but when I went out
into the multiverse,
I was looking for a bit
more than half here.
- Right.
- So back out I go.
- So, when you do
find a universe
that makes you
wanna stay a while,
what do you do to the
Sydney who's there?
- What do you think?
- You kill them.
- I don't need to.
I show 'em the scary little gun
and they hop in the bathroom
and leave their universe to me.
- And that works?
- It'd work on me.
- Yeah, me too.
- You know why
everything's so fucked up?
- Like in general?
- With the multiverse?
- Why?
- When we go through our lives
so worried about the
way we treat others,
that we start to lose track
of how it is we're supposed
to treat ourselves.
When we become
completely detached
from consequence we have
no idea how to behave.
You disagree?
- With what?
The idea that
overwhelming selflessness
is humanity's fatal flaw?
Yeah, just a bit.
- I wouldn't call it
overwhelming selflessness,
I'd call it selflessness
only for fear of consequence.
We have laws that dictate
how we treat one another,
we have nothing to dictate
how we treat ourselves.
- So what?
A little more self-care
and we'd esna the force
cannibalism?
- Well, is that what you
think we owe ourselves?
- The right to be left
alone in our own universe
without the threat
of being eaten?
Yeah, that's a good
place to start.
- Maybe.
Or maybe we owe ourselves
the best universe we can find
even if it comes at the
expense of our other selves.
You're really gonna stay here?
- There's no solution
to my problem out there.
- I'm certain that there is.
- Based on what?
- The concept of
infinite possibilities.
- Well, not so much
infinite as we may think.
- Really?
- No matter where I go or
what I find, I'm still me.
Whether I have a million
dollars in one universe,
or a PhD in quantum
mechanics at another,
I'm still Sydney, I
still have my head
and I still have my worries
and I still have my fears.
External solutions never
work for internal problems.
Ken's right.
- We all have a cannibalism.
- No, not that
Ken, the other one.
Losing your past
doesn't make it go away,
it just sets us up to
create another one.
- Well, you're the scientist,
best you can do is
test it and find out.
- If you do leave,
grab some tape and mark
the wall, something unique,
something we started
doing on the off chance
we make it back to somewhere
we've already been.
Be nice to know.
- Still try to make
some sense out of it?
- There's a pattern,
we just haven't
figured it out yet.
(upbeat music)
- I was just leaving, look.
- Fuck, I drew a penis too.
You dipped that in peanut oil?
- Yeah.
- Good.
- Where's yours?
- I gave it to a ken.
- To a ken?
- Not all bad, some Sydney's
are pretty fond of them.
- Huh?
- So, are you happy here?
- Would I be getting in
the bathroom if I was?
- May not solve your problem.
- Maybe not, but staying
definitely won't.
- How do you know?
- What do you mean?
Because I remember
what's gonna happen.
- You remember what's
going to happen?
- Listen to this,
I have this theory,
that since all possible
outcomes are realized,
there must exist a
universe in which
the principles of
thermodynamics are reversed
or don't exist at
all, imagine that,
a universe where I
could remember my past.
If I could remember
what I've done,
I could learn from my mistakes,
I just have to find it.
- We're never gonna
be happy, are we?
- No, but maybe we were.
(upbeat music)
(soft music)
(upbeat music)
- So, how was I?
- Sorry.
- I mean, sexually,
was I any good?
- Ummm
- I mean, I know you probably
didn't think I was good,
but well, did you think
I was at least average?
How many men have you
been with, by the way?
- I don't think it
lasted long enough
for me to have
much of an opinion,
although in general
not lasting long enough
to leave an impression
is usually a bad sign.
- Well, that's one
way of looking at it.
- Name another.
- Didn't last long enough
for me to make any mistakes.
- It wouldn't go that far.
- Okay.
- You asked.
- Well, only because I
thought you'd be gentle.
Do you have any
constructive criticism?
I mean, things I can fix.
- How about some small talk?
- I can't fix my penis.
- Are you being clever?
- Self deprecating.
I've been told some
women find it charming.
- Right.
Have you seen any
good movies lately?
- Small talk it is.
- I saw this one film last week,
"To Gesbar from
Guinevere", was brilliant.
Have you seen it?
- Seen it? I
practically wrote it.
- Really?
How does one practically
write something?
- Well, I came up with the idea.
- You have a story by credit.
- No, I came up with
the idea separately.
- Separately,
separately from what?
- From Alan Davidson.
- Who's Alan Davidson?
- The writer.
- So, you didn't write it?
- Not with Davidson,
I wrote it separately.
- Are you credited?
- Maybe I'm being confusing.
Look, it was a case
of parallel thinking
and Davidson and
I have never met
yet we both had the
same idea for a story
and separately from one
another wrote said story.
- So you both had
an idea for a film
about a girl who falls
in love with her father.
- Well, in my version, the love
interest wasn't her father.
- Who was it?
- Just a man.
- So it was a story about a girl
who falls in love with a man,
a man who wasn't her father.
- Yeah.
Upon hearing it aloud,
I see how that may sound
somewhat dissimilar
from Davidson's final film.
But if you read my treatment,
well, there's more
similarities in the story beats
and things like that.
You know, I did consider
having the love incestuous.
Incestuous love can be quite
provocative if done tastefully.
- Why didn't you?
- Kept having this
idea that my own father
would see the film.
- And?
- And I don't know,
he'd get the wrong idea.
- What idea?
- I don't know that maybe I had
a crush on him or something.
- Ew.
- I know, well,
that's why I made sure
the love interest
was not her father.
Honestly, I wonder about
Davidson sometimes,
I wonder what his father
thinks of his work.
- Right, do you mind if I smoke?
- It's not a deal breaker, no.
Oh, you meant in here?
I was thinking
about your problem.
- What problem?
- You know your problem.
- What about it?
- Well, I think I
might have a solution.
- Oh.
- Yeah, But it's odd
and semi unbelievable.
- Okay.
- All right, how do you feel
about your current reality?
- Is that a rhetorical question?
- Would I pause for
an answer if it was?
- Like you did just that.
- That was more of
a dramatic pause.
- Disillusioned.
- A disillusioned pause.
- I wasn't correcting
you, I was answering you,
I feel disillusioned
by my reality.
- Right, well, that's good.
- Is it?
- Good for the purposes
of solving your problem.
- Right, so the solution is.
- The solution is.
Will you remind me
of the problem again?
- You have a solution
to my problem,
but you don't remember
what my problem is?
- I remember that
you have a problem,
and that's the great
thing about my solution.
It's 100% effective
against any problem.
- Right, and Ken, how is
your relationship to reality?
- Tenuous.
- Sounds that way.
- So, do you wanna hear my
100% fully guaranteed solution
of any problem?
- If you say, Jesus
Christ, I'm leaving.
- Don't worry, I'm an atheist.
Actually more
accurately a nihilist
and I think you're already
planning on leaving anyway.
- It's nothing personal,
just if I can't smoke here.
- And if I told you you
could, would you stay?
- I'd probably still leave
just with the worst excuse.
- You don't like me?
- We just met.
- 10 Hours ago.
- We slept for four
of those hours.
- So that's even
more impressive.
It only took me six hours
to realize I liked you.
- Took me six seconds.
- I think they call that
love at first sight.
- Six seconds to
realize you liked me.
I think they call that
premature ejaculation.
- Okay, I feel like you want
me to apologize for that
being that it's the second
time you've brought it up.
- No need, I'm a
theoretical physicist,
I don't believe in
the concept of time.
- Oh, well, I'm a nihilist,
I don't believe in anything.
- That must be convenient.
- I can't complain,
but only because that's
not something nihilist do.
- Yeah, no, I got it.
Ken, have you seen my necklace?
- Not over here?
- It's gold with a diamond.
- If I see a necklace,
I'll assume it's yours.
- You don't get many visitors?
- Not many would take
their clothes off.
- Your dad has been
around in a while?
- Was that a joke?
- Maybe not if I were
talking to Davidson.
That was a joke.
- Right, I forgot you
were a psych major.
- You did forget, minor.
Remember last night
you told your friends
you were gonna go through
all of Freud's developmental
stages with me?
- No, but those are.
- Oral, anal and phallic.
- Oh, yikes.
- Yeah, all for three.
- Sorry about that.
- Again, no need to apologize,
although that is an
offensive stereotype.
- Premature ejaculation?
- Psychologist being obsessed
with edible instincts.
- I thought edible instincts
were only when you
wanna bang your mom.
Also, you were the one
who brought up my dad.
- And you were the
one who linked it back
to my sex studies.
- Do you not like me because
you don't know enough about me?
- Sorry.
- You said you just met me,
that would indicate
that you don't like me
because you don't
really know me.
- Sure.
- Okay, so let me tell
you a bit about myself.
- I'd really rather
if you didn't.
- It's the only way we'll know.
- Know what?
- We're meant to be together.
- I'm getting the sneaking
suspicion that we aren't.
- Well see, that's
important for me to know.
- Did you look
underneath the covers?
- It's not there, I
have a peanut allergy.
- Are those two
sentences related?
- I wanna tell you
more about myself.
I have a peanut allergy,
I'm a grad student in
the film department.
When I was eight years old
I peed my pants at a magic show.
- You're a grad student?
- Didn't really expect
that's what you'd latch onto.
- Are grad students supposed
to sleep with undergrad?
- It's not a requirement, no.
- Is it frowned upon?
- Why would it be?
- Age difference?
- Coming from the girl who
doesn't believe in time.
- That was a reference to
the way we experience entropy
and not an excuse
for pedophilia.
- Pedophilia, how old are you?
- Relax, I was being
hyperbolic, I'm 22,
- 23, what's entropy?
- A measurement.
- Of what?
- Molecular disorder.
- My friend had a
molecular disorder.
- No, not a molecular
disorder, just disorder,
randomness, uncertainty.
- So, in relation to time.
- A few moments ago,
you said you thought
you should apologize,
apologize for what?
- Not lasting longer.
- Right, and by lasting
longer, what do you mean?
- You need me to explain that?
- Well, it's actually
not so clear.
See, the amount of time
that we spend having
sex is relative,
but it's relative
only to itself.
So for example, time
moves slightly faster
at higher altitudes,
we're at about sea
level here in Hoboken,
but if we drove upstate to
Mount Marcy or somewhere
and had sex on top of a
mountain that's like 5,000 feet,
so technically
we'd be having sex
for a shorter amount of time,
but that wouldn't make you feel
like you lasted any
longer at sea level
because that's not the type
of lasting longer you're
referencing, is it?
- Mount Marcy's in Keen, right?
That's like, it's like
a four hour drive,
I have class at 9:00.
- It's not a proposition, Ken,
the point I'm making
is that we can discuss
theoretical properties of time,
but that won't affect the way
that we actually relate to them.
- So, you're saying.
- So I'm saying I can understand
how when Newtonian
classical mechanics
that past and the future are
both theoretically knowable.
- You can see the future?
- Theoretically, yeah.
- Practically?
- Practically no, but
the reason I can't
isn't so simple as, because
it hasn't happened yet.
The only thing pushing times
zero forward is entropy,
and besides that,
there's no reason why
where we've been should
be any more vivid
than where we're going.
But unfortunately, the past
is an area of lower entropy.
- Why is that unfortunate?
- Well, maybe it
isn't universally,
but I for one, I'm not in love
with being irrevocably
linked in my past,
that seems like a waste of
perfectly good low entropy,
I'd much rather see
where I'm going,
especially when I don't
have much in the way
of things worth remembering.
- Well, you haven't heard
the magic show story yet?
- Okay, tell me.
- Well, no, no, now
there's too much pressure.
I mean, it's good,
but not so good
that it'll cure your weird
existential quantum depression.
- Right, I should get going.
- So, you still don't like me?
- It's really uncomfortable
that you keep asking me that.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
But imagine if we did just make
small talk the whole morning?
If we just talked about
movies for an hour
and not even incestuous
ones, boring ones,
I'd try calling you
tonight and tomorrow
and then wait a
week and try again.
- That's alarming.
- The point is, I'd wonder
why you weren't answering.
I'd say, gee, that's
odd, Sid had a really.
- Sydney.
- Sorry.
- My name is Sydney.
- You said your
friends called you Sid.
- They do.
- Right, well, I'd
say, gee, that's odd,
Sydney seemed to have a
really great time last night.
We had a great discussion
about German expressionism.
Now I know that
you don't like me
and I shouldn't waste my time.
- Oh yeah, God forbid you waste
another three seconds with me.
- You're a liar, you
totally believe in time.
- Okay, well, you're a liar too,
you said you're a nihilist
and you clearly care
whether I like you or not.
- I'm a nihilist, but
I'm also a romantic,
I can't help it.
Your necklace is on my dresser.
(soft music)
- Can I see it?
Is the diamond real?
- I don't know, it was a gift.
- Notice how it fogs
up from my breath
Diamonds don't fog.
- Did someone tell
you that was charming?
- It wasn't.
- I don't like you, Ken.
- I pretty much shielded, huh?
- I mean, you
weren't doing great,
but that was definitely
the cherry on top.
So, what's your solution?
- Sorry.
- It's my problem,
what's your solution?
- Jesus Christ.
- What did I say?
- That was an exclamation,
not an answer.
Have you seen my keys?
- I haven't, but if I see some,
I'll be sure to breathe on
them to see if they're real.
- That only works on diamonds.
- And fake diamonds.
- There's no shame in
having fake diamonds.
- Oh, trust me, on the
long list of things
currently causing
me to feel shame,
my fake diamond necklace
is at the bottom.
- All right.
I know how you got the answers.
- Excuse me.
- I know how you
got the answers.
I know your problem.
You're getting
kicked outta school
for cheating on an exam.
- I know, I told
you that last night
and you pretended you didn't
remember this morning.
- Yeah, well, something
jogged my memory.
But what you didn't tell me
is how you got the answers.
- How'd I do that?
- Through blackmail,
Professor Slack.
- How do you know that?
- Do you wanna know my
solution to your problem?
My bathroom is a
unique structure
that links disparate
points in space time.
- That's where
you're going with?
Your solution to
my cheating scandal
is that your bathroom
is a wormhole?
- Yes.
- Is this a physics joke?
- Wouldn't be very funny.
- Well see, your jokes aren't.
- Listen Sydney, this is a
solution to your problem,
to all your problems.
I know it sounds crazy,
but this was actually discovered
by an expert in the field.
- An expert in the
field of quantum physics
discovered this
in your bathroom.
- Yep.
- Who? Einstein, Thorn?
- You did.
- Sorry.
- You figured it out.
- Really? I did, when?
- Two weeks ago.
- Two weeks ago, we
met last night, Ken.
- Yeah, we did, here.
But as I'm sure you are aware,
and I mean that literally,
I'm sure you are aware
that all possible outcomes
are realized in the many
world's interpretation.
So, there exists a world
where we met last night,
a world where we
met a month ago,
a world where we'll
meet tomorrow,
a world where you like me
and a world where you don't.
- A world where I think
you're a crazy person.
- Exactly.
- But you live in
that world, Ken,
not the world where
we met two weeks ago
and I was nice enough to check
your bathroom for wormholes.
- Traversable wormholes,
and yes, I did.
I'm here now, but I'm
from somewhere else.
- Right, as easy as it
is for me to believe
that you're from a
different universe,
I'm still a little
skeptical on the concept.
- I'd let you give it a try
but the results are
rather permanent.
Once you go in, you have to know
you're never coming back here.
- Something you grappled with.
- No, no, for me it was
a rather simple decision.
- Of course, and this
solves my problem how?
- All possible
outcomes are realized.
To me, that was just a saying,
just a way to think
about the multiverse
until I saw "To
Gesbar from Guinevere"
and I realized something,
that could have been me.
- Who? Gesbar or Guinevere.
- Davidson.
I could have been Davidson.
If all possible outcomes
exist in the multiverse,
there exists a universe where
I made the love incestuous
and I wrote "To Gesbar
from Guinevere".
- Wow.
- I know.
And not just that,
the possibilities are
legitimately endless.
I buy a lottery ticket here,
there automatically
exists a universe
where I win the jackpot,
all I need to do is find it.
- So your idea is for
me to find a universe
where I didn't cheat and
get kicked outta school?
- If that's what you want.
But I mean, why settle for that?
Maybe there's a universe
where you're getting
your PhD at MIT.
Maybe there's a universe
where you're the next Freud,
if that's a good thing,
I don't really know.
Either way, you'll need this.
- What the fuck, Ken?
- What?
- Why do you need
the fucking gun?
- Well, once you get
to the right universe
and find a place you wanna stay,
you can't live with yourself.
- The guilt?
- Huh? No.
I mean you literally
can't live with yourself.
- Ken.
- You need to kill yourself.
- Because of the guilt?
- No, Sydney, not because
of the guilt, not suicide,
you need to kill
your other self.
Look, that bathroom
works both ways.
Just like I wanna
find somewhere better,
so do my other selves.
So, if someone comes
through that bathroom door
and decides they wanna stay,
they know I need to go.
Give us a whole new
meaning to self-loathing.
I mean, every single day
I'm confronted by
my worst tendencies.
- Yeah, you and me both.
- No, no.
You may think you've seen
the worst of yourself,
but trust me, there are
recesses of your being
that do not need confronting.
- I'm looking for a billion
dollar lottery ticket
and only having to
kill yourself over,
it doesn't sound
that Colonel Ken,
I've considered killing
myself over much less.
- The pronouns may be the same,
but it's a little
different than suicide.
- Have you done it?
- Like I said,
I'm not from here,
but I'm here now and
no other Kens are.
- So, that's what the first
known traversable wormhole
discovered in space
time is used for?
A bunch of Kens
killing each other
to write the major
wrongs of their lives?
- Not necessarily.
- Oh.
- We've killed each other
over our fair share of
minor wrongs as well.
Actually, just the other day
I had to shoot
another me in the face
because he ran out of
milk in his universe
and went looking for one
where he remembered to
go grocery shopping.
How was that for colonel?
- Yeah, that's pretty bad.
But also just sort
of impractical.
- Well, that's the thing
about being connected
to infinite worlds.
A logic and reason get thrown
out the window pretty quick
especially when you know all
possible outcomes are realized.
Think about your problem.
When I gave you this
solution, did you consider it?
- If this was real, maybe.
- Well that's enough, right?
All possible outcomes exist.
So, if you've thought about it,
you've already set
it in the motion,
there now exists an
infinite amount of universes
where you've decided to do it,
and an infinite
amount of universes
where you've decided not to.
You know, there is
something kind of fair
about the many worlds.
See, if I consider
doing something,
it doesn't really matter
if I do or do not,
both outcomes are realized.
In our singular world,
we're judged based
on what we do.
We can have evil thoughts
and terrible impulses,
but we're judged
based on how we act.
In the multiverse, we're
judged on our thoughts,
on our contemplations,
the things that
used to be private
now confront us at
our bathroom doors.
In a way, it's kind of
an odd form of justice.
We're finally being
held accountable for
who we really are.
And the person holding
us accountable is,
well, also who we really are.
Funny how that works.
Well, not ha ha funny.
- So you think if I go
looking for a universe
where I didn't cheat
and end up getting
shot in the face
by someone else doing
the same, that's justice.
- Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you wanna know what
kind of person you really are?
Stand by the bathroom door
and watch what comes out.
There's another one of
these in the closet.
(upbeat music)
- But where are you going?
- Like I said, I'm looking
for something better,
this isn't it.
Hell, who knows?
Maybe I'll find a universe
where you think the
diamond thing is charming.
- Friendly advice, I'd
settle for the billion dollars.
(upbeat music)
- Wait, aren't you gonna
put pants on first?
- Pants, where I'm going,
I don't need pants.
- What?
- Nah, I'm just kidding.
I'll just take a pair of
pants after I kill him.
- So this is, you're really
gonna walk into that bathroom
and expect to come out
in a different universe?
- Yeah.
- Well I'll be here
when you get out.
- Yeah, in a way you
probably will be.
- No, me, me, not
a different me.
- Okay.
- So this isn't a joke,
you really believe this,
you are really telling
me that your bathroom
is a traversable
inter-universal wormhole.
- No Sydney, you told me.
- Ken, did it work?
Oh my God, why
would you do that?
Did you think that was cool?
Was that supposed to be funny?
What the fuck dude,
you're a fucking freak that.
- Sorry about that babe.
- Where'd you get that rob?
- Your mom got it for me.
- Is that supposed to be a joke?
- No, she got it for
me last Christmas.
You eat yet?
- You're actually a
pretty good actor.
- I don't get it.
- Do you do this
to a lot of people?
- Do what?
- You know, I don't like it
when strangers use
my bathroom either,
but there are easier
ways to keep people out.
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, Daniel Day,
so you don't break.
This is impressive, but
it's also very creepy
and any humor that I
may have found in it
went out the window when
you showed me the gun.
- Babe, you're freaking me out.
- Babe, so this is a universe
where we're what? Dating?
- It's a weird way of saying it,
but I guess technically
true, did you?
Did something happen while
I was in the bathroom?
- Don't do that,
don't, I'm leaving.
- Wait, wait, wait, stop.
- I swear to God, can I
know where the other gun is?
- Okay, you're actually
scaring me now.
Can you just have a seat
and let's talk a minute?
- Please get outta my way, Ken.
- What happened while
I was in the bathroom?
- Nothing, you were in
there for five seconds.
- Well, a lot can
happen in five seconds.
- Only when it comes
to your sex life.
- I don't get it.
- Oh my God, do not pretend
you don't understand
that reference.
- Reference to what?
- Premature ejaculation,
premature ejaculation.
You're a crazy person.
- Well you're the one
yelling premature in my face.
- I swear to God,
Ken get outta my way.
- Sometimes I wish I
knew what was going on
in that head of yours.
- You wish you knew what
was going on in my head?
I've known you for 10 hours
and I can't get to really know
whether you're full of shit
or just believe your own shit.
- 10 Hours?
- Oh, I get it, we've
known each other for what?
Two years or whatever the
story is in this universe?
- Three years, we've known
each other for three years,
and I think you should sit down.
- I should sit down, why?
- Because I'm worried you
hit your head or something
because you're scaring me.
- This is gaslighting,
you are gaslighting,
this is psychological abuse.
- I'm not trying to.
- You're telling me you're
from a different universe.
- I've never said that.
- You're implying
it, and actually,
yes, you did tell me you were
from a different universe
before you went
into the bathroom.
- We didn't talk before
I went into the bathroom,
you weren't even up yet.
- I wasn't up yet.
You are standing in
front of me lying
and disguising it is proof
of the mini world's
interpretation.
- Sydney, ask
yourself something,
am I that good of a liar?
- Everybody's that
good of a liar.
- What?
- Psychological
studies have shown
that human lie
detector techniques
and inadvertent "tales
of pseudoscience"
no human being whether an
expert in detection or otherwise
can tell whether
another human is lying
with any greater certainty
than guessing the
outcome of a coin toss
so that can lead due to
one of two conclusions.
Number one, no human is an
expert at detecting lies,
number two, all humans
are experts at lying.
14% of the world is illiterate
and 100% are expert liars,
we learn how to lie before
we learn how to read.
- Why is that?
- I don't know.
Probably the same reason we
don't have fucking gills.
- And why don't we
have fucking gills?
- 'Cause we don't
live under water, Ken.
- I still don't get it.
You push your hair
back when you lie.
- How do you know that?
- Because tells may
be pseudoscience,
but genuine human interaction
and connection isn't.
When you lie to me,
which isn't frequent
and almost always
the white variety,
you push your hair
back, that's your tell.
- This is so fucked up
and now I can't even like.
I think that's the
most fucked up part,
the part of me that believes,
wants to believe that your
bathroom is a wormhole.
- Yeah, that is fucked up.
Why do you think our
bathroom is a wormhole?
- 'Cause you told me it was.
- Sydney, listen, I love you.
- Don't be gross.
- Okay.
Obviously you are in a
sensitive place right now,
I can respect that,
I'm just gonna sit down, okay?
Why don't you try telling me
what happened this morning?
- Okay, but only in the off
chance that any of it was true.
- That makes no
sense to me but okay.
- You told me that your bathroom
was a traversable wormhole,
that it was a link between
infinite universes,
you go in here and you
come out somewhere else.
- Well, I went in and came
back out in my apartment.
- Right, but is
it your apartment
or is it your apartment
in another universe?
And then how could we?
Oh my God, why am I
convincing you of this?
- Well, let's test it, right?
That's what they do in science.
I'll go back into
the bathroom and see
if I end up in a universe
where you remember me
and our life together.
- You can't.
- Why not?
- Because it's not just a link
between two points
and space time,
it's a link between
an infinite amount
of disparate points
in space time.
- Which means?
- Your chances of getting
back to where you started
are roughly one in infinity.
- Are you fucking with me?
- Hey, it's my life.
- No, this isn't funny.
If this is true,
if this is true that
I'm never gonna see Sid,
my Sid again,
I'm never gonna get
back to where I'm from,
I'm gonna be stuck
here with you.
- No offense taken.
- You who hates me,
you who is crazy.
- Are you okay?
- I'm having a panic attack.
- Oh.
- I need you to help
me through it, okay?
You help me through them,
you need to help me through it.
- Okay, what do I
normally tell you to do?
- Name things in the room.
- Okay, I guess I'll
name the table, Pete?
- Don't fucking tell
me to name things.
- Okay, fine, what do
you wanna call a table?.
- Don't give them
a fucking name.
Okay, okay, okay,
white wall, lamp,
painting, giant table.
Okay, remote, carpet, door knob.
I'm sorry for yelling.
- It's okay.
(Ken sobbing gently)
So you really don't
remember this morning?
So, what now.
- I don't know, I don't
know anything about this.
I mean, why am I here?
Are my friends the
same, my parents?
I mean, clearly my
girlfriend hates me.
- Well, not entirely true.
I'm technically, I'm
not your girlfriend.
And I guess if this is
real, I don't hate you.
- Really?
- Yeah, that would be unfair.
I hate the version
of you I met here,
I hope you don't
find this insulting,
but you're kind of a douche.
I'd hate for you to judge
me on my other self, so.
- Oh my God.
- What?
- My Sydney, she doesn't know.
She could be out in the
universe somewhere too
or another Ken
could have shown up.
My girlfriend could be
cheating on me, with myself?
- Well, not technically
cheating then, is it?
I'm just saying this is
all pretty new stuff here
but what really separates
us from other selves.
- Other than being
objectively different people.
- Subjectively, based on
your personal feelings
about what a person is.
- We don't share a
consciousness, we're different.
- Okay, well, consciousness
is a lousy indicator,
it can only survive
in the present moment,
you're only aware of your
current surroundings.
Theoretically, you and
yourself three years ago,
don't share a common
consciousness.
By your definition, are
you different people?
Did your girlfriend cheat
on you with your past self
or is she currently cheating
on your past self with you?
Or are they two entirely
different relationships?
Is this Sydney you
know even still exist?
- Is this supposed to
make me feel better?
- No, I have no interest
in cheering you up,
I'm just saying there's
really no difference
between space and time.
A different you in
a different space
and a different you
in a different time
are both quantitatively
the same you, I guess
share the same difference.
I suppose if this
newfound discovery
of a traversable
Einstein Rosen bridge
in your bathroom can teach
us anything, it's this
or even more meaningless
than we originally thought,
our choices mean nothing
because they aren't
even choices.
We have no individuality
because there are infinite
versions of us exactly like us,
and we have no
self-determination
because they're infinite
versions of us nothing like us.
With infinite worlds comes
infinite implications.
It would be impossible
to even begin
to wrap one's mind around
what any of this means.
How many choices did I make
in the past 30 seconds?
How many times did I choose
one word over another?
How many universes
did that create?
How many versions
of this conversation
are currently happening?
(Ken sobs gently)
Many Kens comes many problems.
(upbeat music begins)
- Many Kens come
get it like jizz?
Any who, you guys
got any milk here?
(Ken laughs hysterically)
- Is he gonna kill me?
- I don't know, but this is
real.
- What are you doing?
- I wanna go talk to him.
There's another
gun in the closet.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, don't move, Ken.
- Hi Ken.
- What's up?
My name is Sydney.
- I know.
- Oh.
- Yeah, we've met before,
if you know what I mean.
- Well, I knew what you meant
before you asked if I knew.
- I banged you.
- Right, great.
- Did he bang you?
- No, no, he didn't.
You leave your own
universe for free milk?
- No.
- No?
So you came for something else?
- I came here for free milk.
I left where I'm
from a while ago,
now I just sort of hop around.
- Looking for anything specific?
- You ever seen,
"Groundhogs Day."
- A movie?
- Well, that's what
my life is like.
- You're stuck in a time loop?
- No, not stuck.
Every day I wake up,
hop into the bathroom
and do whatever I want
wherever I end up.
When it's all over,
I hop back in the bathroom
and go somewhere else.
- When you say
whatever you want.
- Whatever I want.
You might not understand,
but this guy does.
- What do you want to do here?
- I haven't decided yet.
- I'm assuming you never
wanna do nice things.
- I gave up on the concept
of right and wrong a while ago.
Every possible outcome
is realized, right?
- Right.
- So, when I think,
should I blow up the
admissions building
with everyone inside
just to see how it feels?
Well, someone has
to do it, right?
- Theoretically yes, but
it doesn't have to be you.
- Oh, I know, but it's
a lot more fun if it is.
Besides, it's not like I'm
actually hurting anyone.
- Blowing people up
is not hurting them?
- No one's talking to you fatty.
- Fat?
- It's just I hate
seeing myself.
Insecurities come off as insults
attempts to be self deprecating
or just deprecating.
- Yeah, well we don't
look that similar,
your face is backwards.
- So is yours dumbass.
- Well, you've only ever seen
yourself in a mirror before,
technically, this is what
your face actually looks like.
- Oh man.
- Excuse me.
- Okay, I see what
you mean, sorry.
- So, when you say they
don't feel anything.
- You know what I mean.
- Quantum suicide?
- What's that?
- Another implication of the
mini world's interpretation.
All possible outcomes
are realized.
So technically, we're
all officially immortal.
- What?
- Well, as long as the
cause of death is quantum
like only as long as.
- I rig the bomb to explode
based on a 50-50
random occurrence?
- Something like that, yeah.
If all possible
outcomes are realized,
the bomb both
explodes and doesn't.
- So, what about the
universe where it does?
- Well, they all die.
You talked about how
consciousness makes a man.
Well, your consciousness
is automatically gonna go
to the universe where you live
because there's
nowhere else to go.
It's kind of like being a
cat in Schrodinger's cat
from his perspective, he
never eats the poison.
- Why not?
- Because if he did, he
wouldn't have a perspective.
- Right.
- Very psychological of you.
- I'm a minor.
- Oh, gross, is that
why he didn't bang you?
- A psych minor,
Jesus Christ dude.
And that's not psychology,
that's theoretical physics,
which I guess is no
longer theoretical.
- Are you gonna kill me?
- Well, we'll see.
I can guarantee in at
least one universe I won't.
- Right and wrong.
- Doesn't so much
apply anymore, does it?
- [Ken] Ken, get this,
I found an us who
wears a fake mustache.
- Over.
- [Ken] Well, over
his upper lip,
where else would you
wear a fake mustache?
- No Ken, when you're done
talking you say over, over.
- [Ken] You say
over or over, over?
Over, over?
- No, you just say over, over
but not over, over.
I'm saying over and then.
- Who is that?
- [Ken] Who's that?
- Another Ken.
- [Ken] Doesn't sound
like another Ken.
- No, Ken, it's another
Sydney, you're another Ken.
- [Ken] Well, from my
perspective, you're another Ken,
I'm just Ken.
- Okay, but I'm speaking
from my perspective,
you know the way every
human being talks? Over.
- [Ken] Talks over what?
Oh nevermind, I get it, over.
- How are you speaking with him?
- Walkie-talkie.
- Obviously, I
meant, where is he?
- Another universe.
- You can do that?
- Yeah, I met him and
gave him a walkie-talkie,
we stay in contact, tell
each other what we see.
- [Ken] By the way, not a
fake mustache, it's real.
Dunno why I thought
it was fake, over.
- I see you two are
doing important work.
- We're just trying to
make a bit more sense
outta this senseless universe.
- A senseless universe
that has great signal.
- Well why wouldn't it?
Technically there's no
real distance between them,
it's not as though they
actually exist in space time,
they're all here.
- I guess that makes sense,
but only because it
doesn't make sense.
- Crazy world.
- Worlds.
- Sorry, can we go back to
whether you're gonna kill me?
- [Ken] Who's that?
- Another Ken.
- [Ken] Another Ken
from my perspective
or another Ken from
your perspective?
- Another Ken from both
of our perspectives.
- [Ken] Right, and
which Ken is this?
- Which Ken are you
or which Ken are we?
- [Ken] Which Ken are you?
Why would I ask which Ken I am?
- Well, I'm the original Ken.
- No, I'm the original Ken.
- I was here first.
- Technically neither of
you are the original Ken.
But for convenience sake,
maybe you should be Ken
one and you be Ken two.
- [Ken] I don't like numbers,
sounds like a ranking.
- It's not a ranking,
it's chronological.
- [Ken] From your perspective.
- Yes, everyone is speaking
from their perspective.
- [Ken] What about
letters instead?
I'll be Ken A.
- You would be Ken C.
- [Ken] I don't wanna be Ken C.
- How about if he's
Kenny and I'm Kenneth?
- [Ken] Why would we skip
all the way to E and F?
- Not Ken E, Kenny.
If we're doing
letters, Kenny can be.
- [Ken] It can be what?
- No, she's saying
Kenny can be Ken B.
- [Ken] So I'm Ken C?
I said I don't wanna be Ken C.
- Why does the Ken on the
phone even need a letter?
He can't come here, can he?
- [Ken] Sorry, are you
saying Kenny or Ken E?
- Neither, he's Ken B.
- [Ken] He can be what?
- No, he's Ken B.
- [Ken] Who?
- Him.
- He can't see.
- [Ken] I'm not Ken C, you
can't just make me Ken C.
- Yes, we can.
- [Ken] Cannot.
- Ken two.
- I thought we
weren't doing numbers.
- Jesus Christ, can we, can we,
not Ken three or Kenny or Ken E,
can we put the walkie-
talkie aside for a moment?
- Ken, I gotta let
you go over and out.
- [Ken] Wait, what
does and out mean?
- Okay, first of all,
why are you in contact
with another Ken?
- Two heads are better than one.
- Not when it comes to Ken's,
no head would be
better than his one.
- That's kind of ambiguous.
- What?
- Yeah, it is.
When you say no head would
be better than his one.
Are you saying his one
is worse than none at all
or there's no head in the
universe is better than his?
Like he's the smartest?
- Are you two trying
to prove my point?
'Cause you're actually
doing a good job.
- That's all so ambiguous.
- Oh my God, it is.
Because if we're
doing a good job
proving two Kens
are worse than one,
then we've actually proven
that two Kens are
better than one.
- Are you gonna shoot him soon?
- I don't know, he's
kind of growing on me.
- I like self-loathing
kind better.
- Well, I like the Sydney
who banged me better.
Anything ambiguous about that?
- Actually yeah.
Do you mean you like the Sydney
that did a better
job banging you
or you just like the Sydney
you had sex with better?
- Have you banged
multiple Sydney's?
- I live a consequence
free existence
in the multiverse infinite
levels of low self-esteem.
So yeah, I've banged
a few Sydney's,
banged a few Kens also.
- Are you gay?
- Is masturbation gay?
- Is masturbation the same
as having sex with yourself?
- That's pretty
much the definition.
- Is it technically incest?
- Maybe we're asking the
wrong questions here.
- Yeah.
Who's on top?
- No, Ken, what I
mean is, is it random?
- Is what?
- Where you go,
where you end up,
do you have any way of
knowing or controlling,
can a Ken ever go
back home again?
- I think you're thinking
of it incorrectly.
There's no real home.
We're multiplying
at an insane rate.
The world you left
has since morphed
into a million
different new worlds.
Which one are you
trying to get back to?
- Any of them.
Just one that feels like home.
- Well, lucky for you.
There exist an infinite
amount of worlds out there
that will feel just like home.
- But I'll know it isn't real.
- Trust me, Ken,
even if you made it back
to where you started,
it would still
feel just as fake.
There's no going back
to how you used to live.
- According to you.
- Who is also you.
- Why should you get to use
the multiverse like this?
Why are you allowed to treat it
like your own
personal playground?
- We all can.
- Well, not all of us want to,
some of us just wanna be left
alone in our own universe.
- I didn't make you
go into the bathroom.
- I know, here you are.
- So what are you gonna do?
- What do you mean?
- What's your plan?
What's in store for your wacky
"Groundhog Day" escapades?
- I'm gonna cut one of
you up into little pieces
and make the other one eat them.
- Right.
Well I guess you'll be
cutting up Ken then.
- I'm sorry, why?
- Has something changed?
Last night you
seem pretty intent
on not putting any part
of me in your mouth
and now you're prepared
to do the full mazy?
- First of all, that wasn't me,
secondly, canalingus is a
long shot from cannibalism,
and thirdly, he's not
gonna be cutting anyone up.
- No, I am.
- What, why?
- I don't know.
I guess I used to
consider myself a nihilist
before the bathroom days.
But once I really saw how
meaningless this universe is,
I realized how much I cared
and felt before I found out.
And you know what
else I realized?
I liked it.
I liked caring and feeling
and I became nostalgic for it.
Or the nihilistic
equivalent of nostalgia.
See, being a nihilist
is a cool thing to say,
but in practice it's
rather depressing.
It's nice to feel things.
It's nice to believe in meaning.
I hope you won't judge
me too harshly for this.
And I mean that as empty
a platitude as possible.
I don't care how you
judge me, but know this,
it's hard to make
yourself care anymore,
it's hard to feel happy or
hopeful or proud, I've tried.
So this, well, shame and
repulsion don't feel as nice,
but they let me know I
still know how to feel
and that's good enough.
- You don't have to do this.
- Of course I do,
I'm a psychopath.
- But you don't seem
like a psychopath.
- Well, he did say he was
gonna cut one of us up
and make the other one eat them.
- No, yeah, I'm just saying,
outside of that he seems normal.
Have you ever thought that
maybe you aren't a psychopath,
maybe you're just depressed?
- Jesus, Ken, he's
a psychopath, okay,
why is that so hard
for you to believe?
- Because if he's a psychopath
and that means I am too,
or at least I could be.
- Well fuck Ken, anyone
could be a psychopath.
I mean somewhere out
there everyone is,
it doesn't mean the versions
of ourselves who aren't
should feel responsible for it.
- I agree with Sydney.
It's not your fault I
do wacky shit like this.
- No, it is, at some point
we need to take
responsibility for ourselves,
for our other selves.
All possible outcomes of realize
is not an excuse for depravity,
depravity shouldn't
be a possible outcome.
Why do we settle for knowing
we barely escape
being our worst self?
- Well, it's not anyone's
fault that I am what I am,
I'm a product of the multiverse.
- That's a cop out.
The multiverse is
a product of us.
We aren't running around
shooting each other in the head
over empty milk cartons because
the universe is meaningless,
the universe is meaningless
because of how we
choose to treat it.
- Chicken and egg situation.
- Something like that.
- Well, I apologize, Ken,
but I do not share
your sentiment.
I don't think we can all
stand around and sing Kumbaya.
When did you find out
about the bathroom?
- Today.
- Right, give it time.
We all felt the same way
when we first found out.
There must be a
better way to use it,
there must be
something we can do.
- Well, did any of you try?
- What do you think?
There are different
Kens out there,
but we're all variations
of the same person.
You know me the
same way I know you,
the same way I know
every Ken I've ever met.
- You don't know me.
- Sure I do.
I can tell just
by looking at you.
I know what you're thinking
because I know what
I'd be thinking.
You're scared.
- You're gonna cut me
up in little pieces,
of course I'm scared,
it's not exactly a
stab in the dark.
- I meant you're always scared,
even when a psycho isn't about
to feed you to your girlfriend.
- Oh, we're not dating.
- You get nervous.
- So, everyone gets nervous.
- You have anxiety Ken.
- No, I don't.
- You did have a
panic attack earlier.
- You're a hypochondriac.
- I am not a
hypochondriac, I just,
I convince myself
that I am sometimes.
- Yeah, that's kind of the
definition of hypochondria.
- What does any of this matter?
- I'm saying I know you
and because I know you,
I know how you really feel.
You aren't standing
on your soapbox
because of any moral backbone
or wayward desire to see
the multiverse cleaned up,
you're just scared
of what's out there.
And if you could go back
to never knowing any of
this existed, you'd do it
because you don't wanna
help, you wanna run.
Give it time, that
fear always goes away.
But when it does,
you'll miss it.
- And then what?
I'm gonna force people
to eat each other
to get that feeling
back, I doubt it.
- The ken on the other
end of that walkie-talkie,
he was kind of
like you at first.
After a while he adjusted
to the meaninglessness,
he wasn't violent, but he
was desperate to feel again.
He was masturbating
17 times a day,
the people close to
him were worried.
- Worried he was gonna
get some on them?
(upbeat music)
Get it, people close to him
while he was masturbating.
- Huh, I get it.
(upbeat music)
- Is he gonna be
able to cut us up?
I thought we were immortal.
- Only when it comes to
qauntum causes of death.
- And being cut in
the little pieces is.
- It's our mistake.
In order to achieve
quantum immortality,
we need to enter a
seat of superposition
of being both alive and dead.
- Well, should we
just do that then
run away or something?
Why are we just sitting here?
- He's got a gun, we need
to get out of the closet.
- Sydney, meet Sydney.
- Yeah, the backwards
facing is kind of tricky.
- I'm Ken.
- I know, I was just
telling the other Ken,
I loved to gas bar Guinevere.
- What's that?
- The movie we wrote.
- We wrote a movie?
- Well, we conceived
of an idea for one,
some named Alan Davidson
got there first.
- Not where I'm from,
where I'm from it's
written by a Ken.
- So why are you here?
- Sorry.
- What are you looking for?
- What are you?
- I'm from this universe,
I'm one of those Sydney's
with personal accountability.
- She just found out
about the bathroom today.
- Ah.
- No, no, I mean I did, sure,
I learned about it today.
But no, not every
Sydney and not every Ken
ends up like you two, okay,
and I know, okay, I get it,
I get it makes you two
feel better about selves
to think that it's not
you, it's the multiverse.
And when you meet a couple of
squares like me and this Ken,
you think the only reason
we don't get our rocks off
on force cannibalism is
because we're still too green.
You can rationalize your
behavior however you'd like.
- Like, so can you?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Wait, what about cannibalism?
- I'm saying everyone
ends up this way,
you're saying that's not
true, what's the difference?
Both are just speculation.
- No, one is a
reasonable conclusion
and the other is
an outlandish claim
that all kinds of a
cannibalism fetish.
- She keeps saying
cannibalism, right?
Is someone gonna eat me?
Do you eat Sydney's?
- Relax, he doesn't eat anything
if you know what I mean.
- I do not.
- She means sexually.
- Sorry, what's the
relationship here?
- We've been dating
for three years.
- I just met him last night.
- And he didn't bang her
because she's a minor.
- A psych minor.
- He didn't bang you because
you're a psych minor?
- He didn't bang me, period.
- [Ken] He didn't bang
her on her period, over.
- That's what it
sounds like, over.
- How long has he
been listening?
- Sorry, who's that?
- [Ken] I'm the main Ken.
- The main Ken?
- [Ken] Well from
my perspective.
- What?
- He talks like that.
- [Ken] Why didn't he bang
her on her period? Over.
- I'm not on my period.
- So why didn't he bang you?
- He didn't bang me because he
is from a different universe
and one who was
from this universe
didn't really bang me either.
- [Ken] Because
you're a minor? Over.
- I am not a minor,
I am over 18, over.
- [Ken] Sorry, were
you done talking
or was that for emphasis?
- I was also confused.
- The point is it
makes no sense to say
we didn't get bang
because we're minors.
- Because we're 22?
- Because we don't
believe in time.
- [Ken] You don't
believe in time? Over.
- Well how do you
not believe in time?
- It's not that simple.
It has to do with entropy
and our inefficient,
incomplete understanding
of the flow of time.
Do I really have to
explain this again?
- Technically you've never
explained it to any of us.
Plus, the more time
you spend explaining,
the longer you get to wait
before you have to eat Ken.
- So you are saying
cannibalism, right.
- I'm thinking I'm gonna
make you eat him too.
I'm a bit of a psychopath.
- Right.
The basic idea is that
all of the equations
of fundamental physics
have nothing to distinguish
past from future,
they all work both ways.
Theoretically, time doesn't flow
in any particular direction,
the only instance in which it
does is when it comes to heat,
heat can never pass from a
cold body to a hot one, never.
I guess now all possible
outcomes are realized.
So theoretically there
could exist the universe
in which the basic
principles of thermodynamics
are backwards.
A universe in which
the patterns we observe
in the natural world flow
from a higher state of
entropy to a lower one,
the world here, the future
is theoretically knowable.
That's how you could get home.
- Oh my god.
Wait, sorry, what
did you just say?
- If you could find a universe
where entropy was reversed,
you could see your own future,
you could see which choices
would lead you where,
you could theoretically
know how each decision
to enter or not
enter the bathroom
would play out 40
years down the line.
You could take your
one in infinity odds
of getting back
and narrow it down
by seeing how each
choice plays out.
- Of course, if you made it
to one of those universes
that'd come at a cost, you'd
be giving up your past,
you'd be trading in your
memories for your future.
- She's right, you'd forget
all about your Sydney.
- So, if I forgot
all about my Sydney,
what would make me know
to try and find her?
- You'd have to trust your gut.
You'd have to trust that
what you had with her
is really what you
choose when confronted
with literally
endless alternatives.
Of course, there's
also the chance
you wouldn't even know you're
remembering past or future
I guess since no human being
is ever really remembered
their future before
we don't have a reference point
as to if it's played
any differently
than our current memories.
- You would need some sort
of a test for every universe,
a heat test.
- Exactly, you'd need.
- You'd need me
to change my mind
and not feed you
to the Sydney's.
- Right, well, if we're
just gonna wax theoretical
a bit longer before dinner,
what would be an
efficient test of entropy?
- The fog test.
- What's the fog test?
- You've met Kens before,
but you've never been
subjected to the fog test?
- No, never.
- Come on, it's
like their big move.
- I've never seen it.
Can you show me?
- Yeah, alright.
May I?
- Of course.
- Notice how it fogs
up for my breath?
Diamonds don't fog and, and.
(Ken gasps for air)
- Here's a tip, in the
multiverse again is nice,
but whenever enemy you
may encounter is a Ken,
a fake diamond necklace soaked
in some peanut oil is better.
- [Ken] Hey, get this,
I found another Ken with
a fake mustache, over.
- So, how does it work?
- Well, the reason
diamonds don't fog
is because they conduct heat
and disperse it quickly.
If entropy were reversed
and moved backwards,
cold particles would
move through hot ones.
Your breath wouldn't
fog up a fake diamond,
the fake diamond would
neutralize your breath.
- Basically, whenever
you get somewhere new,
breathe on the diamond,
keep going until it
doesn't fog anymore.
- I'm worried I'm gonna
choose something else
if I can't remember what I had.
- Wouldn't that just mean
it's actually what
you really want?
- No, no, it would be
an impulsive mistake.
A split decision
based on instinct
rather than logic
and experience.
- You can't still
think logically without
knowing your past.
- Don't we develop our own
logic based on our past?
- Sure, but that's not
necessarily a good thing.
- Thank you for not eating me
and for helping
me get back to you
or trying to get back to you.
Not you, you but
I don't think I need to clarify
what I mean by that anymore.
You get it?
(upbeat music)
- So what are you gonna do?
- Well, no offense,
but when I went out
into the multiverse,
I was looking for a bit
more than half here.
- Right.
- So back out I go.
- So, when you do
find a universe
that makes you
wanna stay a while,
what do you do to the
Sydney who's there?
- What do you think?
- You kill them.
- I don't need to.
I show 'em the scary little gun
and they hop in the bathroom
and leave their universe to me.
- And that works?
- It'd work on me.
- Yeah, me too.
- You know why
everything's so fucked up?
- Like in general?
- With the multiverse?
- Why?
- When we go through our lives
so worried about the
way we treat others,
that we start to lose track
of how it is we're supposed
to treat ourselves.
When we become
completely detached
from consequence we have
no idea how to behave.
You disagree?
- With what?
The idea that
overwhelming selflessness
is humanity's fatal flaw?
Yeah, just a bit.
- I wouldn't call it
overwhelming selflessness,
I'd call it selflessness
only for fear of consequence.
We have laws that dictate
how we treat one another,
we have nothing to dictate
how we treat ourselves.
- So what?
A little more self-care
and we'd esna the force
cannibalism?
- Well, is that what you
think we owe ourselves?
- The right to be left
alone in our own universe
without the threat
of being eaten?
Yeah, that's a good
place to start.
- Maybe.
Or maybe we owe ourselves
the best universe we can find
even if it comes at the
expense of our other selves.
You're really gonna stay here?
- There's no solution
to my problem out there.
- I'm certain that there is.
- Based on what?
- The concept of
infinite possibilities.
- Well, not so much
infinite as we may think.
- Really?
- No matter where I go or
what I find, I'm still me.
Whether I have a million
dollars in one universe,
or a PhD in quantum
mechanics at another,
I'm still Sydney, I
still have my head
and I still have my worries
and I still have my fears.
External solutions never
work for internal problems.
Ken's right.
- We all have a cannibalism.
- No, not that
Ken, the other one.
Losing your past
doesn't make it go away,
it just sets us up to
create another one.
- Well, you're the scientist,
best you can do is
test it and find out.
- If you do leave,
grab some tape and mark
the wall, something unique,
something we started
doing on the off chance
we make it back to somewhere
we've already been.
Be nice to know.
- Still try to make
some sense out of it?
- There's a pattern,
we just haven't
figured it out yet.
(upbeat music)
- I was just leaving, look.
- Fuck, I drew a penis too.
You dipped that in peanut oil?
- Yeah.
- Good.
- Where's yours?
- I gave it to a ken.
- To a ken?
- Not all bad, some Sydney's
are pretty fond of them.
- Huh?
- So, are you happy here?
- Would I be getting in
the bathroom if I was?
- May not solve your problem.
- Maybe not, but staying
definitely won't.
- How do you know?
- What do you mean?
Because I remember
what's gonna happen.
- You remember what's
going to happen?
- Listen to this,
I have this theory,
that since all possible
outcomes are realized,
there must exist a
universe in which
the principles of
thermodynamics are reversed
or don't exist at
all, imagine that,
a universe where I
could remember my past.
If I could remember
what I've done,
I could learn from my mistakes,
I just have to find it.
- We're never gonna
be happy, are we?
- No, but maybe we were.
(upbeat music)