Bad Behaviour (2023) Movie Script
The mind does anything to stay in power. It tells us that without its presence in everything,
we won't function. We won't love or be loved.
Notice the nasty tone.
Oh, come on.
The bullying voice.
Pass!
The mind, abusing.
This is the frightened ego.
Frightened.
One, two, three.
Notice.
Mom?
Hey!
Mom, I have one bar of reception and I'm at work. I have to teach a guy to strangle me, so I can't talk right now.
Yeah, okay. Actually, I can't talk either.
Your truth is very quiet.
I'm just calling because I'm going to be leaving reception any minute and I'm going to be on a semi-silent retreat in the wilderness, so don't expect to hear from me.
Bill? Oh, shoot, I lost you. Okay, I can't hear you. Bye. Bye-bye.
There you go.
Thank you.
The silence will begin at 6pm following the welcome meeting. There is no Wi-Fi outside of reception and it's a low-to-no technology retreat.
Okay.
Oh, also, if you could sign here, just agreeing to be in the promotional DVD.
Yeah. No, I don't want to be filmed. That's why I didn't sign it.
Oh, okay. Well, if you could motion to Mark from the film school, he'll be behind the camera.
But you'll tell him to?
No, it's just I don't want my daughter or my ex, you know, to see what I say if I say anything.
I can make a note, but if you could tell him yourself. I have a lot to be abreast of.
Sure.
So I'd appreciate that.
Okay.
Teamwork.
Um, so...
Meeting room.
Yeah.
Bridge.
Maze.
And rooms are beyond.
Ooh, anything especially good?
Room 9.
Oh, it's just a... I was joking. It's a totally weak joke.
Yeah.
See, we're here trying to get enlightened, so it shouldn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
I'll take a match.
There's some phone reception by the trash.
It's only for emergencies.
Only for emergencies with technology and reception.
If you need to talk, just call your dad.
Call dad?
Because you won't be able to call me.
Okay, well, I think I'll manage. I mean, I hardly ever call either of you.
You know, accidents do happen.
Mom, can you not? Well, actually, nothing kills you in New Zealand anyway, so I'll be fine.
Sure.
I worry.
Yeah, I know, but can you not? Because it actually throws me off. Please? Like...
Okay. Yes! I'm sorry.
Coffee. Fuck, I gotta go.
Why? Because of me?
No, because of work. I'm just late already.
Well, uh...
Look, I will text you when the silence is over. Yeah?
Yeah, okay. Love you, have a good experience, and I hope you enjoy it.
Yeah. I mean, unless I decide to prolong it, you know.
If I don't text you, then don't contact me, I guess.
Okay.
Love you.
Bye, baby.
You are not lost, you are not broke.
I invite you to begin this time without yourselves.
Without the stories that drove you here.
Yes.
Parked your cars.
I'm sure they are very compelling.
I invite us to be quiet.
To give ourselves permission to be...
a little mysterious.
Silence in the context of retreat is not only about not talking,
it's an opportunity to no longer participate in socializing.
I encourage you not to smile at each other.
No winking.
No signing.
You can use the board or come to Petunia or myself if you are experiencing panic, of course.
Maybe see what happens, though.
Yes, maybe see what happens if you let yourself feel that panic on your own a little first.
It may not be...
all that it seems.
Oh, other hand.
Is it too hard?
No, it's fine, but you don't need to squeeze at all because I'm just pulling you.
True, true. I'll follow you.
That's right. And remember, you can't hurt me. I have full control. It's fine.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
And...
three...
two...
one.
You alright?
You alright?
What?
Nah, nah.
Don't do that to me. Don't.
No, it does hurt.
No, I'm sorry.
No, it's great. You did really good.
Okay.
Alright.
Do it again.
Alright.
Well, you want to try this?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Nah.
Not twice.
You're absolutely mangling the apple.
I'm concentrating.
What are you doing to that apple?
It's not what I showed you.
Fuck!
This is not fair.
Ow.
Okay.
I want to beat you at everything, so...
You are such a sore loser.
That's really something.
Two flightless birds for you.
No, breakfast is finished.
Thank you for joining us.
Yeah, of course.
Great.
We've been a very quiet bunch here.
The airport was just a fiasco.
I'm so sorry.
It's pretty.
Yes.
What room am I in?
We've got you in room number nine.
Cool.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Follow me.
Good.
Where's Elon?
Ah, he's meditating.
Come, come.
There's no fucking way.
He wants you to die like a bit more slowly.
You need to go faster going up.
Then you take the arrow.
Then you fall and you face more camera.
So he can see you.
Right?
Yeah.
Cool. We've done it four times, guys.
Come on.
Okay, okay.
We're going to go again, guys.
Going again.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
They've been doing it for two days.
Okay, last look.
Last look.
What's going on?
And action.
Three, two, one, go.
And cut.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's a cut?
It doesn't work.
We've tried ten times.
Hey, could you take a photo for me?
Oh, it's over.
Oh.
Elon broke it.
Did you sleep in?
My alarm didn't go off.
Well, actually...
Oh, it's fading.
Can you take a couple?
Okay, how's that?
Oh, I'm in shadow.
Well, it's backlit, so...
Are you a photographer?
No.
I've taken a few portraits.
Thanks.
Sorry.
My dad was a bully.
He was a small, aggressive, white Balinese man.
He stopped bullying me when I got bigger than him.
I begged my body to get bigger.
And now I'm supporting him financially.
Because he's ill.
And because he's my dad.
My sister made this comment about him, and I didn't take it too well.
At all.
But I want to.
I'm ashamed.
And I'm afraid...
of what she's going to say.
If he hurt her...
I'm going to finish him off.
But not, you know, now, because I don't know what you guys are planning, so...
Stupid.
Can anybody connect?
Yeah.
So what are we going to do, Elon?
Do what?
Enough doing.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Look what people have done so far.
Is there anyone else left who's willing to share a shame?
Or a secret?
I will.
Okay.
Thank you, Dion, for your honesty.
I'm humbled before you.
Oh, I don't want to be filmed.
Okay, no problem. Turn it off, turn it off.
So I am filled with shame upon shame as I go ahead and reveal my shallow, insipid secret.
Um...
I know that I'm young and that we're in a youth culture and I have currency.
But I'm scared that it's all going to go away.
Right.
It will.
Trust your elders.
Yeah.
Right, but I know what it's like to have somebody analyze my body.
Not out of lust or love, but something reptilian in it.
And sometimes I can't finish sentences.
Because I can't tell if they're looking or listening.
And I thought I would grow out of it, but I like to write suicide notes.
And I fantasize about my funeral.
And in the fantasy, I'm young.
And I don't know what they're looking at, but I don't want it to disappear.
I'd rather be dead.
That's my shame.
I'm just wondering, Beverly, about these suicidal thoughts.
Oh, no, I mean, I have a while.
Well, this kind of illusion is...
It's the kind that has a built-in self-destruct mechanism.
So this ship can only take you so far before it obliterates itself.
And me with it?
No.
No, you are the passenger, not the vehicle.
You are at an airport right now. You know your flight will crash. Do not get on it.
Do not get on it.
Right, okay.
Although sometimes crashing has its benefits.
Okay, is there anyone left? Or have we all gone? We've all gone.
She wasn't here this morning.
Well, I mean, after that, I guess I'm kind of ashamed to be over 40.
It's not about you.
No, just while you're young. You'll see how it feels one day.
I... unless you...
Kill myself?
No, no, that's not what I meant.
I meant unless you're too enlightened.
Okay, would you like to come up?
Okay, sure.
Thank you.
Well, my parents were always testing me for greatness when they weren't depressed or drinking all their money.
But that sharpened me, I think. I was sharp.
Maybe I'm only sharp in a cutting way now.
Yeah, because it used to feel like it was going somewhere. I played piano and I was on this television show when I was a teenager as a warrior princess.
I remember Floor of the Fierce. It was solid.
Yeah, thanks.
And my parents, they really wanted to be happy and they just weren't.
And, well, I wanted to be happy too, but I find it doesn't stick.
So I decided a long time ago that maybe being happy isn't it. Maybe there's something more.
I think I've lived in tandem with that something more ever since.
So maybe I'm ashamed that after all this time, I'm still just in tandem. Yeah.
And still just a greedy, needy, lazy, paranoid human living off the money I made from a character that gave me an eating disorder.
I hope I'm funny, but I can be.
Well, I'm mean.
Well, sometimes I'm just a cunt.
Does anyone relate to this?
Looks like you've discovered my smoking corner.
It's unbusted.
Oh, you smoke?
I'm not a monk, I'm enlightened.
Just one ointment.
Pupil.
I thought enlightened people weren't supposed to say they were enlightened though.
Isn't that how us mere mortals can tell?
I've seen nuns smoke.
I don't know, I feel...
might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
Enlightenment.
Do you think it will?
I don't think.
Oh, you're smiling.
A lot, actually.
It changes your whole face.
It's...
it's wonderful.
So...
there is somebody...
or nobody.
There's both.
Both?
Yeah.
Okay.
How close have you been?
Me?
You said you feel like you were in tandem with something more, so...
How close?
Oh, inseparable.
But then somehow I'm separated.
Well, you know, maybe it's both.
No.
No.
Maybe.
Yeah.
It's just...
there's a knowing that you're in another place that isn't the everyday.
Why isn't it the everyday?
I mean, isn't there room for all of it?
It's enlightenment, it's...
everything.
Everything?
Yeah, it is everything.
At the same time...
there's a difference between actually being enlightened and, like, now.
What's stopping you from being enlightened right now?
Are you enlightened right now?
Yeah, I think even if I don't have...
consciousness of it or, you know, the language maybe to explain it...
in a way that's satisfying to you, I think, yeah, it could really just be happening right now.
Hmm.
Well, as someone who's been on this path for a while, I mean, I'm only speaking for myself.
We can all only speak for ourselves.
Who else would you be speaking for?
I am speaking for myself.
I'm just saying that there have been moments where...
I have felt a true connection to everything that is.
You know, moments where I have been so supremely shaken and held...
that were both...
inevitable...
and miraculous.
But you know that it's not the everyday and you know that it isn't maybe.
This is what I'm saying.
Both.
I mean, that's what Elon just said in class.
But I'm saying it now.
Both of us are saying it.
Yes, yes, you are.
So do you feel like the dissatisfaction comes from inside you?
Yes.
Um...
Well, it sounds like you know what you need to work on then.
No more.
What are you doing outside of your warm haven?
My eye was drawn.
Are you cold?
Uh, I mean...
I can sit in the old... sit in the thing if you want.
Oh...
That's... that's um...
That's really nice.
We're not...
We're not allowed...
just to go in the actor's trailer now.
I won't tell anyone.
The office is there.
Thank you. So it's...
that way, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah. Or are you just going to the portal room?
Cool.
Everything you've gone to give me.
Yeah, all right!
Yeah, hey.
Yeah, please.
All right, all right, all right. Give up. Okay.
Oh, you've got to take him. He's so fucking annoying.
I know he is.
He's so fucking annoying.
Yes?
We're out. Let's go.
All right. I'm in now.
Eh?
Right in.
All right.
I don't know my shit.
You don't need your shit.
Your legs.
Are you sure?
I have nothing to say to you.
It's a good thing, yeah?
What are you sensing?
You really are a disgusting specimen.
They leave you alone because you smell.
You think you're going to get away from me?
You won't.
I am you.
How did you sleep?
Dreams.
How did you sleep?
Well.
Very well.
What did you dream about?
What did you dream?
That I was a piece of shit.
Oh, naughty mind. Naughty.
Remember.
Don't think, Lucy.
Go into the anger.
What's there?
Okay? Stay with the fear.
Really stay...
with the fear.
Stay.
What's there?
Interesting.
Is there anyone else?
Last night, I felt like I was being poured out of a vessel.
And I was terrified, but that was also pouring out of me.
And it was like froth.
And it was all like mixing together and I was mixing together and I became like...
Caffe Latte.
I don't know how to explain it.
You can't explain peace, Beverly. Just enjoy it.
Show the group your face.
Once awakened, you can catch like a cold.
Yeah.
Thank you, Beverly.
A lot of peace in the room this morning.
So beautiful, isn't it?
In order to avoid confusion with other seekers, I like to call this exercise...
New Born Again.
So each of you find a partner, please.
And let your heart open to the gravitational pull of the other.
That's it.
Everyone found a partner?
There's an odd number.
I can sit down.
No, it's okay.
Let the snogging begin.
No, no, no. I'm joking.
I'm joking. I'm very much joking. Sorry. Sorry.
No, really, what we're doing here is not quite that.
So if everyone faces the Misty Mountain.
Now, everyone on the right is a new mother and everyone else is a baby.
So new mothers, grab a blanket.
Babies, you can't walk or talk, nor do you have control of your necks.
Mothers, your babies need swaddling.
And this is going to be the next hour of your life.
Sounds fun.
I think you and the mother are actually on the right side.
Oh, I'll be the...
Babies, this is your chance to feel freely. There is no expectation on you.
Mothers, you will not be using an existing language to soothe your child, but a made-up language, too.
Okay?
Your babies are going to want things they don't even know they want yet.
Okay.
Oh, and mothers, you may whisper to each other once every quarter hour.
In English or a tongue of your choice. Okay.
Here you are. Thank you.
Did the baby do a poo-poo?
Petunia.
Shh.
No, no, no.
Please, please.
Please stop.
Babies, it's time to find a baby who's not your mother.
Babies, find a baby not your mother.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Now, mothers, find your mother and tell her exactly what you mean to say.
Okay?
Find your mothers and tell them exactly what you mean to say.
Find your mother. Okay?
What?
Um, okay. Sorry. I'm your mom. Just do what?
Just kill yourself.
Beverly.
Beverly.
Beverly, I didn't mean you.
Beverly.
No, no, no, no. Don't follow me.
Listen to me.
I meant my mother.
I don't care.
I meant my mom.
You're all pain.
And I tried to get to know you because I have a resistance to you.
But no, you are a toxic fucking nightmare.
Stay away from me.
Well, enjoy your room.
It is what you have known that has brought you here.
To the precipice.
In this chapter we will explore the final frontier of the mind.
And what for the ego can seem like disaster.
Or even annihilation.
I get it. I'm nothing.
Elon.
Yes, Petunia?
Can I get you anything?
No, thank you, Petunia. I'm perfectly well in here.
Okay.
Elon.
You never tell the story of how it happened anymore.
Your awakening.
No.
Is that a permanent decision?
People focus on it too much.
It won't help.
Would you tell me again?
No.
It won't help you, Petunia.
Fair enough.
It's just a story.
Yes.
Don't try so hard.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
Don't edit.
Don't try.
Okay.
You are not broken.
You are enough.
How do you know?
I just...
I just know.
I hope you're right.
But...
Is that wasn't enough for my mother?
Or the father of my child?
Or my child?
In what way?
What's...
What's the story?
To stay alive for?
To stay with?
My child, she still wants something.
I don't know what it is.
And I'm scared.
But I just don't have it.
So...
I hope you're right.
Don't hope!
Don't hope!
Be...
never...
ever...
ever...
given to hope.
Just be.
Do you want some water?
I just want to thank Elon and everyone.
I feel giddy.
And Beverly.
Your face.
Thank you.
I don't know what's gonna happen next.
But I've surrendered to it.
It's like...
I'm talking, but...
what I'm saying...
might as well be nothing.
Nothing...
might be better?
Maybe I have...
Maybe I have nothing to say.
Why don't you shut the fuck up then?!
No!
No!
You know what, dear?
Maybe you should kill your dad.
He sounds like a real asshole.
Shut the fuck up.
Have you seen Elon?
No, she's the bad one.
The citizen's arrest.
The citizen's arrest is not a real thing.
Okay.
Ten steps back.
This is a crime scene we need to process.
She wants me to carry her to the car.
I'll go quietly if he carries me.
Otherwise I'll pee my pants and shit myself if I can.
And that smell will be in your car.
I think she means it.
Save me a place.
Surround me with friendly feet.
To share the edge.
The world.
And face the reality.
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
What the?!
Bless you.
Oops.
Sorry.
Three, two, one, action.
Let's get some riggers down there.
Let's go, boys.
Dylan, talk to me!
Dylan, talk to me!
We've got a head injury, concussion, GCS-12.
Yeah, a pair of the cells.
At the film set.
Oh, Jeanine.
Can I have one of those, please?
I know, man. It'll kill you too.
What if I don't crush my brain with blood from the inside first?
Oh!
Hey.
I want to kill myself.
No.
No.
Sorry, I can't move. I'm not allowed.
I don't want to hurt you more.
I think you're being dramatic.
It's like a dream. You don't know why you like it, but you do.
So strange.
You're strange.
Come to Cumberland.
Okay.
When she fell, I was so worried, because she still has the wig on.
Yeah, we'll have to see if they let you in the ambulance.
I could just take the pins out and lift it gently.
No, I don't want anyone touching her head.
Don't you guys do spare wigs?
She is the spare.
So this is going to be all about rest.
That's no phones, no screens, and no alcohol.
Meditation can be good, and the concussion clinic is going to fill you in with the details.
Oh, no blackouts at the halfway party then.
Boring.
I love seeing who has surprise partners.
You don't act like you've got someone.
No, I don't.
Oh, good for you.
Al Moore's girlfriend's coming.
Apparently she's really nice.
No, I never trust nice.
Hey, do you?
Like, what even is nice?
Hang on, I'm just going to...
Okay.
Alright, let's hurry then.
Sorry, no, not you.
You don't hurry.
Take your time.
I'm going to walk.
Really?
Yeah, I'm going to walk.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I feel like it.
Okay, don't hit your face.
I think your phone's ringing.
Okay.
Dad?
No, I...
No, I haven't heard from her. She's in the US on some retreat and doesn't want to be disturbed.
Mom did what?
Hello there.
Hello there.
Lucy?
Yes?
I'm your public defender, Leonard Gao.
You can call me Leo, like the, um, star sign. If you like.
Is it your star sign?
Um, no, it's Virgo. Why? What does it mean?
Nothing.
What do you want it to mean?
That I'm special.
You're very special.
My mom was always saying so.
So, uh, Lucy, we have your arraignment in 15 minutes.
You want to go to prison?
So what, you're thinking you're going to play Gandhi, are you?
Nelson Mandela?
A middle-aged white lady who hit a model with a chair.
She's not just a model. She's also a DJ and actually a very annoying person.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
Do I remind you of your mommy?
A bit, actually.
Is she dead?
Yes.
How did you know?
Because I'm dead, too.
She could whistle so loud it would burst your eardrums.
Big laugh.
Was always very honest.
I bet she wasn't entirely honest.
How do you want to plead?
I don't feel guilt.
You almost killed her.
It was a really fucking good punch, by the way.
Still perky alive.
Came to check on you.
You look...
okay.
Yeah, I think...
Well, I thought I was doing really well, but I think I might actually be at quite a low point in my life.
Are you open?
As a person?
Uh, no, you...
Are you in an open relationship?
No.
Mom.
I feel so bad.
You're so cute.
You're not as cute.
You're not as cute.
You're so cute. You're so cute.
You're cute, too. You're a little bit cute.
Say it.
They're letting you go.
Have you heard things?
Heard what?
Hey.
Nothing.
Could it be a deal?
Don't tell me what to do.
Sorry.
That looks like a weapon. Can I take a look?
It's, um...
It's just a... It's a walking stick, which is...
Goes with my...
It's just a stick.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
I'm sorry.
Welcome aboard Armstrong Airways.
If evacuating the aircraft, passengers are required to leave all personal baggage behind.
All of it.
In the likely case of an emergency, if you are experiencing panic, try panicking on your own a little first.
And if the plane does make an unexpected landing, remember to never give in to hope.
Excuse me.
I don't mean to disturb you, but the plane is crashing.
There might be something we could do.
What?
We could... kiss?
I'm stuck.
Mom?
No! Get her off me!
Mom's here to see you.
Get me out of here! Get out!
Prestigious trial. Fuck.
What are you doing here?
I'm here to support you.
I'm alright.
Yeah, I'm okay.
I have my lawyer. He's very nice.
Um...
He thinks I'm lovely, like his mommy, could you imagine?
Um, I got you a present.
Thank you.
A room, please. The cheapest.
Oh, we're fully booked by the wedding.
Can I stay in your room tonight? Please?
Of course, my darling.
You look like a pirate.
That one's mine.
You want a hug?
Was it an accident?
You gonna hurt me?
Haven't I already?
Do you regret it?
I don't know, Dylan.
It just felt right in the moment.
Well, violence is not the answer.
It's not what I was looking for.
Your job's very violent.
It's not real. It's pretend.
It doesn't like pretend.
It doesn't solve anything.
Okay, well...
You smell. You should have a shower.
Mom, be serious.
Why'd you do it?
She was very fucking annoying, okay?
Okay, well, that's actually not good enough.
You're annoying, too.
You threatening me?
Maybe.
You can't take me.
I don't know.
I have more real-life experience than you.
Well, I'm bigger. And I'm stronger. And I'm younger.
And you're injured.
You'll be injured.
I'm joking.
I'm so hungry.
You?
Can I have some of your pizza?
No.
Why not?
Because I asked you and it's a mini-pizza. And I'm tired and hungry.
Please.
Please, please, please, please. I changed my mind.
No!
It's not very good, is it?
Oh, you hate me, don't you?
Hmm.
Didn't take very much, did it?
You're not showering?
What's going on?
Do you think I'm a bad mother?
Can you not do that?
Was I bad?
It doesn't matter.
I mean, you're bad sometimes, but you're not a bad person.
It's just bad behavior.
And what did you want from me?
I wanted you to get what you wanted. Or to get it for you.
So you would look at me like you weren't waiting to look away.
I...
When I was really little, I thought you were trying to escape me, but...
You were just unhappy, right?
It was just a hard time.
In what ways was I bad?
You... you weren't.
Your, um, grandma was difficult and she was complicated, and it just made it hard for you to give me what I needed.
What did you need?
It was hard to think of, like, a specific thing off the top of my head.
And you were quite needy, though.
Well, I was just struggling like a normal kid with normal depressive feelings.
And you told me that I was just like your mom who tried to kill herself.
You did. You tried. You tried to.
No, I didn't. It was for fun.
You hurled yourself off the neighbor's roof.
No, into the pool. For fun.
You ate all the sleeping pills and drank all of the alcohol, and it was the shallow end.
No, it was the deep end. And I had some sleeping pills, and I drank so I could feel good and high.
And I was sad sometimes, but I thought I was gonna be okay.
And I wanted you to think I was gonna be okay, too. It was a fucking party.
It was eight o'clock in the morning.
And you were cutting yourself. I'm sorry, you were cutting yourself with my Italian kitchen knives.
I did that twice, and it was a cry for help, and I don't communicate like that anymore.
Okay, well, see, that's what I'm saying. That is quite manipulative.
It was not eight a.m. It was night.
I remember you pitching yourself off the roof, and the sun was coming up. I will never forget that.
Mom, what are you talking about? You weren't there.
Yes, I was.
No, you weren't.
Yes, I was.
Where was I?
You were on a retreat.
And when you came back, you told me that if I had died, you would like to think you would get over it.
Well, I'd like to think I would get over it.
I don't want to be miserable because I love you. I want to be free.
You are miserable, and you are fucking free!
Dylan.
No.
Hey!
Lawyer!
Breakfast!
Oh, here she comes.
This is my daughter.
Hello.
Dylan.
Hi, Leonard. I'm the lawyer.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
You're wearing a jacket.
What can I get you?
I'm still thinking.
I'll have the vegetarian baked breakfast with a side of...
Does your gravy have meat in it?
Yeah.
Oh, never mind.
I'll get a side of bacon. Could you make it crispy, but not burnt?
With what?
I'll have the pancakes.
Do you have a special?
Oh, we might. I'll go check the borders down the other end.
Mom!
Yes, please.
What?
Can we get our coffee borders in first, please?
Oh, yeah. I mean, that might take me a bit longer. What do you want?
Um, black coffee, thanks.
Black for me, too.
What kind of milk do you have?
We got all the milks.
Um, I'll have black, too.
Uh, with coconut milk on the side.
We don't have coconut milk.
Oh, um, soy milk. Heated, please.
And you know what? I don't worry about the special. I'll have the vegetarian big breakfast, too.
With bacon on the side?
Yeah, crispy, please.
If you're going that way, maybe just, you know, do tell me what the special is, because maybe I will change my order.
Mm-hmm.
Big V breakfast, pancakes, big V breakfast with crispy bacon, or maybe the special.
Three black coffees, soy milk on the side.
Heated.
Hot milk.
Yeah.
Or maybe the special.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So...
Lucy, I have to ask you one thing.
Is it okay to do so in front of your daughter?
Yeah, absolutely.
Did you say to Beverly Woods...
that she should kill herself?
I did.
But it wasn't her that I meant to say it to.
It was a role play.
Okay. And who were you saying it to?
It was me, wasn't it?
No, it wasn't you.
Dylan, why do you act like I hate you?
Because you act like you hate me.
Well, I certainly don't hate you.
I love you.
I love you more than life itself.
It was a role play to my mother.
Excuse me.
I just...
have to go to the bathroom for a second.
What I did to Beverly was...
it was very unfair and...
we should just do whatever's right.
Right, Leo?
It's very good to hear that you're remorseful.
But right is, realizations aside, kind of relative in the law.
I mean, you broke it, so...
you're already in the wrong.
You okay?
You okay? Sorry about this.
No, I've seen...
Hey, is there a bathroom out there?
No, just the great outdoors.
Lucy!
It's gotta stop.
All this nonsense.
All this cruelty.
Well, actually, you have got to stop because you are the adult.
But you're an adult now, too.
Dylan, you're...
you're gonna have to find a way to forgive me.
And then you're gonna have to find a way to forgive yourself for taking so long to forgive me.
Look, what I should have said?
You are the fiercest and most terrifyingly alive thing that could have come out of me.
And if you died, I'd have to believe that I could get over it because I'm not sure that I could.
I mean, I'm barely managing to get over everything else.
Well, you probably should have said nothing of the kind.
You should have hugged me and gotten professional help.
But I appreciate it.
Right.
Right.
Fuck!
I mean...
You're a fucking mess.
Mm-hmm.
Well...
Should we pretend we drowned in the river?
Just now?
Yeah.
More ghosts.
It takes the pressure off.
I got it.
Really?
I should have said, darling girl.
Please.
Take good care of yourself.
I love you very much.
Yeah, I should have.
He says the special is...
It's...
Eggs Benedict.
And hash.
And...
Back to life.
Back to life.
Did you find your mom?
Yeah, she...
Mom!
What's on the other side?
Mount Hypnos has wolves in the National Park.
Mom, there are wolves!
I have to get her.
Sorry.
Yeah, no, yes.
Indeed, the cops might take the absconding badly.
Hey, hey!
I grew up around here.
And I know the area.
Mom!
And would very much like to come.
And...
Unless I am vehemently not invited.
There's good hiking spots around here.
And you can drink from the streams above the cow dung.
Mom!
Oh, almost full reception.
Lucy!
Filling, huh?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Can I?
Yeah.
What if we're enemies?
And we're in battle.
But we have a mutual fury and respect.
And today we fuck.
And tomorrow we're at war.
Isn't it kinky enough that you're seducing your mother's defense attorney?
No, okay.
Okay, um...
At last.
To have you.
Do you have a condom?
No.
Lucy!
I'm sick.
No, I do, um...
There's a cave around here.
Show me.
Lucy, are you in here?
Oh, hey.
Don't...
Don't go too far.
I nearly died here.
Why?
Is there a dragon?
No, I, um...
I lost sight of the mouth.
Trying to get to the other side.
For a while it was dark.
And then I saw this light ahead, and I was so excited.
But it wasn't until I saw the trees that I realized it was the same way I had entered.
I was lucky.
You can't tell where you're going.
You can go back and forth forever thinking it's blurry.
Dylan!
You okay?
Yeah.
Did you see something?
No, um...
How do you know where she is?
She's on top.
She's got a phone?
Hey!
Hey!
Dylan!
Come down from there!
No!
Fuck.
You come up here!
Can you please come down?
I'm here.
Fine.
Hey, Leo.
Take a picture of me with my daughter before I go to jail.
You're not gonna...
go to jail.
Yep.
Be yourself.
Be yourself.
I am being myself.
Just be yourself.
Got it.
Okay, now a candid one.
Be how you would if we were alone.
Happy?
Oh, eyes closed.
Why'd you take it there?
Don't ask me to forgive you.
Every time you said something you should never have said to me.
Baby, take it back.
Take it back.
Turn it back to long ago.
Give me oblivion.
I want this place where we're living in.
Cause you and I both know.
Baby, take it back.
Why'd you take when you say that you do?
But you don't act as if you care.
Take it back.
Take it back.
we won't function. We won't love or be loved.
Notice the nasty tone.
Oh, come on.
The bullying voice.
Pass!
The mind, abusing.
This is the frightened ego.
Frightened.
One, two, three.
Notice.
Mom?
Hey!
Mom, I have one bar of reception and I'm at work. I have to teach a guy to strangle me, so I can't talk right now.
Yeah, okay. Actually, I can't talk either.
Your truth is very quiet.
I'm just calling because I'm going to be leaving reception any minute and I'm going to be on a semi-silent retreat in the wilderness, so don't expect to hear from me.
Bill? Oh, shoot, I lost you. Okay, I can't hear you. Bye. Bye-bye.
There you go.
Thank you.
The silence will begin at 6pm following the welcome meeting. There is no Wi-Fi outside of reception and it's a low-to-no technology retreat.
Okay.
Oh, also, if you could sign here, just agreeing to be in the promotional DVD.
Yeah. No, I don't want to be filmed. That's why I didn't sign it.
Oh, okay. Well, if you could motion to Mark from the film school, he'll be behind the camera.
But you'll tell him to?
No, it's just I don't want my daughter or my ex, you know, to see what I say if I say anything.
I can make a note, but if you could tell him yourself. I have a lot to be abreast of.
Sure.
So I'd appreciate that.
Okay.
Teamwork.
Um, so...
Meeting room.
Yeah.
Bridge.
Maze.
And rooms are beyond.
Ooh, anything especially good?
Room 9.
Oh, it's just a... I was joking. It's a totally weak joke.
Yeah.
See, we're here trying to get enlightened, so it shouldn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
I'll take a match.
There's some phone reception by the trash.
It's only for emergencies.
Only for emergencies with technology and reception.
If you need to talk, just call your dad.
Call dad?
Because you won't be able to call me.
Okay, well, I think I'll manage. I mean, I hardly ever call either of you.
You know, accidents do happen.
Mom, can you not? Well, actually, nothing kills you in New Zealand anyway, so I'll be fine.
Sure.
I worry.
Yeah, I know, but can you not? Because it actually throws me off. Please? Like...
Okay. Yes! I'm sorry.
Coffee. Fuck, I gotta go.
Why? Because of me?
No, because of work. I'm just late already.
Well, uh...
Look, I will text you when the silence is over. Yeah?
Yeah, okay. Love you, have a good experience, and I hope you enjoy it.
Yeah. I mean, unless I decide to prolong it, you know.
If I don't text you, then don't contact me, I guess.
Okay.
Love you.
Bye, baby.
You are not lost, you are not broke.
I invite you to begin this time without yourselves.
Without the stories that drove you here.
Yes.
Parked your cars.
I'm sure they are very compelling.
I invite us to be quiet.
To give ourselves permission to be...
a little mysterious.
Silence in the context of retreat is not only about not talking,
it's an opportunity to no longer participate in socializing.
I encourage you not to smile at each other.
No winking.
No signing.
You can use the board or come to Petunia or myself if you are experiencing panic, of course.
Maybe see what happens, though.
Yes, maybe see what happens if you let yourself feel that panic on your own a little first.
It may not be...
all that it seems.
Oh, other hand.
Is it too hard?
No, it's fine, but you don't need to squeeze at all because I'm just pulling you.
True, true. I'll follow you.
That's right. And remember, you can't hurt me. I have full control. It's fine.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
And...
three...
two...
one.
You alright?
You alright?
What?
Nah, nah.
Don't do that to me. Don't.
No, it does hurt.
No, I'm sorry.
No, it's great. You did really good.
Okay.
Alright.
Do it again.
Alright.
Well, you want to try this?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Nah.
Not twice.
You're absolutely mangling the apple.
I'm concentrating.
What are you doing to that apple?
It's not what I showed you.
Fuck!
This is not fair.
Ow.
Okay.
I want to beat you at everything, so...
You are such a sore loser.
That's really something.
Two flightless birds for you.
No, breakfast is finished.
Thank you for joining us.
Yeah, of course.
Great.
We've been a very quiet bunch here.
The airport was just a fiasco.
I'm so sorry.
It's pretty.
Yes.
What room am I in?
We've got you in room number nine.
Cool.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Follow me.
Good.
Where's Elon?
Ah, he's meditating.
Come, come.
There's no fucking way.
He wants you to die like a bit more slowly.
You need to go faster going up.
Then you take the arrow.
Then you fall and you face more camera.
So he can see you.
Right?
Yeah.
Cool. We've done it four times, guys.
Come on.
Okay, okay.
We're going to go again, guys.
Going again.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
They've been doing it for two days.
Okay, last look.
Last look.
What's going on?
And action.
Three, two, one, go.
And cut.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's a cut?
It doesn't work.
We've tried ten times.
Hey, could you take a photo for me?
Oh, it's over.
Oh.
Elon broke it.
Did you sleep in?
My alarm didn't go off.
Well, actually...
Oh, it's fading.
Can you take a couple?
Okay, how's that?
Oh, I'm in shadow.
Well, it's backlit, so...
Are you a photographer?
No.
I've taken a few portraits.
Thanks.
Sorry.
My dad was a bully.
He was a small, aggressive, white Balinese man.
He stopped bullying me when I got bigger than him.
I begged my body to get bigger.
And now I'm supporting him financially.
Because he's ill.
And because he's my dad.
My sister made this comment about him, and I didn't take it too well.
At all.
But I want to.
I'm ashamed.
And I'm afraid...
of what she's going to say.
If he hurt her...
I'm going to finish him off.
But not, you know, now, because I don't know what you guys are planning, so...
Stupid.
Can anybody connect?
Yeah.
So what are we going to do, Elon?
Do what?
Enough doing.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Look what people have done so far.
Is there anyone else left who's willing to share a shame?
Or a secret?
I will.
Okay.
Thank you, Dion, for your honesty.
I'm humbled before you.
Oh, I don't want to be filmed.
Okay, no problem. Turn it off, turn it off.
So I am filled with shame upon shame as I go ahead and reveal my shallow, insipid secret.
Um...
I know that I'm young and that we're in a youth culture and I have currency.
But I'm scared that it's all going to go away.
Right.
It will.
Trust your elders.
Yeah.
Right, but I know what it's like to have somebody analyze my body.
Not out of lust or love, but something reptilian in it.
And sometimes I can't finish sentences.
Because I can't tell if they're looking or listening.
And I thought I would grow out of it, but I like to write suicide notes.
And I fantasize about my funeral.
And in the fantasy, I'm young.
And I don't know what they're looking at, but I don't want it to disappear.
I'd rather be dead.
That's my shame.
I'm just wondering, Beverly, about these suicidal thoughts.
Oh, no, I mean, I have a while.
Well, this kind of illusion is...
It's the kind that has a built-in self-destruct mechanism.
So this ship can only take you so far before it obliterates itself.
And me with it?
No.
No, you are the passenger, not the vehicle.
You are at an airport right now. You know your flight will crash. Do not get on it.
Do not get on it.
Right, okay.
Although sometimes crashing has its benefits.
Okay, is there anyone left? Or have we all gone? We've all gone.
She wasn't here this morning.
Well, I mean, after that, I guess I'm kind of ashamed to be over 40.
It's not about you.
No, just while you're young. You'll see how it feels one day.
I... unless you...
Kill myself?
No, no, that's not what I meant.
I meant unless you're too enlightened.
Okay, would you like to come up?
Okay, sure.
Thank you.
Well, my parents were always testing me for greatness when they weren't depressed or drinking all their money.
But that sharpened me, I think. I was sharp.
Maybe I'm only sharp in a cutting way now.
Yeah, because it used to feel like it was going somewhere. I played piano and I was on this television show when I was a teenager as a warrior princess.
I remember Floor of the Fierce. It was solid.
Yeah, thanks.
And my parents, they really wanted to be happy and they just weren't.
And, well, I wanted to be happy too, but I find it doesn't stick.
So I decided a long time ago that maybe being happy isn't it. Maybe there's something more.
I think I've lived in tandem with that something more ever since.
So maybe I'm ashamed that after all this time, I'm still just in tandem. Yeah.
And still just a greedy, needy, lazy, paranoid human living off the money I made from a character that gave me an eating disorder.
I hope I'm funny, but I can be.
Well, I'm mean.
Well, sometimes I'm just a cunt.
Does anyone relate to this?
Looks like you've discovered my smoking corner.
It's unbusted.
Oh, you smoke?
I'm not a monk, I'm enlightened.
Just one ointment.
Pupil.
I thought enlightened people weren't supposed to say they were enlightened though.
Isn't that how us mere mortals can tell?
I've seen nuns smoke.
I don't know, I feel...
might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
Enlightenment.
Do you think it will?
I don't think.
Oh, you're smiling.
A lot, actually.
It changes your whole face.
It's...
it's wonderful.
So...
there is somebody...
or nobody.
There's both.
Both?
Yeah.
Okay.
How close have you been?
Me?
You said you feel like you were in tandem with something more, so...
How close?
Oh, inseparable.
But then somehow I'm separated.
Well, you know, maybe it's both.
No.
No.
Maybe.
Yeah.
It's just...
there's a knowing that you're in another place that isn't the everyday.
Why isn't it the everyday?
I mean, isn't there room for all of it?
It's enlightenment, it's...
everything.
Everything?
Yeah, it is everything.
At the same time...
there's a difference between actually being enlightened and, like, now.
What's stopping you from being enlightened right now?
Are you enlightened right now?
Yeah, I think even if I don't have...
consciousness of it or, you know, the language maybe to explain it...
in a way that's satisfying to you, I think, yeah, it could really just be happening right now.
Hmm.
Well, as someone who's been on this path for a while, I mean, I'm only speaking for myself.
We can all only speak for ourselves.
Who else would you be speaking for?
I am speaking for myself.
I'm just saying that there have been moments where...
I have felt a true connection to everything that is.
You know, moments where I have been so supremely shaken and held...
that were both...
inevitable...
and miraculous.
But you know that it's not the everyday and you know that it isn't maybe.
This is what I'm saying.
Both.
I mean, that's what Elon just said in class.
But I'm saying it now.
Both of us are saying it.
Yes, yes, you are.
So do you feel like the dissatisfaction comes from inside you?
Yes.
Um...
Well, it sounds like you know what you need to work on then.
No more.
What are you doing outside of your warm haven?
My eye was drawn.
Are you cold?
Uh, I mean...
I can sit in the old... sit in the thing if you want.
Oh...
That's... that's um...
That's really nice.
We're not...
We're not allowed...
just to go in the actor's trailer now.
I won't tell anyone.
The office is there.
Thank you. So it's...
that way, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah. Or are you just going to the portal room?
Cool.
Everything you've gone to give me.
Yeah, all right!
Yeah, hey.
Yeah, please.
All right, all right, all right. Give up. Okay.
Oh, you've got to take him. He's so fucking annoying.
I know he is.
He's so fucking annoying.
Yes?
We're out. Let's go.
All right. I'm in now.
Eh?
Right in.
All right.
I don't know my shit.
You don't need your shit.
Your legs.
Are you sure?
I have nothing to say to you.
It's a good thing, yeah?
What are you sensing?
You really are a disgusting specimen.
They leave you alone because you smell.
You think you're going to get away from me?
You won't.
I am you.
How did you sleep?
Dreams.
How did you sleep?
Well.
Very well.
What did you dream about?
What did you dream?
That I was a piece of shit.
Oh, naughty mind. Naughty.
Remember.
Don't think, Lucy.
Go into the anger.
What's there?
Okay? Stay with the fear.
Really stay...
with the fear.
Stay.
What's there?
Interesting.
Is there anyone else?
Last night, I felt like I was being poured out of a vessel.
And I was terrified, but that was also pouring out of me.
And it was like froth.
And it was all like mixing together and I was mixing together and I became like...
Caffe Latte.
I don't know how to explain it.
You can't explain peace, Beverly. Just enjoy it.
Show the group your face.
Once awakened, you can catch like a cold.
Yeah.
Thank you, Beverly.
A lot of peace in the room this morning.
So beautiful, isn't it?
In order to avoid confusion with other seekers, I like to call this exercise...
New Born Again.
So each of you find a partner, please.
And let your heart open to the gravitational pull of the other.
That's it.
Everyone found a partner?
There's an odd number.
I can sit down.
No, it's okay.
Let the snogging begin.
No, no, no. I'm joking.
I'm joking. I'm very much joking. Sorry. Sorry.
No, really, what we're doing here is not quite that.
So if everyone faces the Misty Mountain.
Now, everyone on the right is a new mother and everyone else is a baby.
So new mothers, grab a blanket.
Babies, you can't walk or talk, nor do you have control of your necks.
Mothers, your babies need swaddling.
And this is going to be the next hour of your life.
Sounds fun.
I think you and the mother are actually on the right side.
Oh, I'll be the...
Babies, this is your chance to feel freely. There is no expectation on you.
Mothers, you will not be using an existing language to soothe your child, but a made-up language, too.
Okay?
Your babies are going to want things they don't even know they want yet.
Okay.
Oh, and mothers, you may whisper to each other once every quarter hour.
In English or a tongue of your choice. Okay.
Here you are. Thank you.
Did the baby do a poo-poo?
Petunia.
Shh.
No, no, no.
Please, please.
Please stop.
Babies, it's time to find a baby who's not your mother.
Babies, find a baby not your mother.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Now, mothers, find your mother and tell her exactly what you mean to say.
Okay?
Find your mothers and tell them exactly what you mean to say.
Find your mother. Okay?
What?
Um, okay. Sorry. I'm your mom. Just do what?
Just kill yourself.
Beverly.
Beverly.
Beverly, I didn't mean you.
Beverly.
No, no, no, no. Don't follow me.
Listen to me.
I meant my mother.
I don't care.
I meant my mom.
You're all pain.
And I tried to get to know you because I have a resistance to you.
But no, you are a toxic fucking nightmare.
Stay away from me.
Well, enjoy your room.
It is what you have known that has brought you here.
To the precipice.
In this chapter we will explore the final frontier of the mind.
And what for the ego can seem like disaster.
Or even annihilation.
I get it. I'm nothing.
Elon.
Yes, Petunia?
Can I get you anything?
No, thank you, Petunia. I'm perfectly well in here.
Okay.
Elon.
You never tell the story of how it happened anymore.
Your awakening.
No.
Is that a permanent decision?
People focus on it too much.
It won't help.
Would you tell me again?
No.
It won't help you, Petunia.
Fair enough.
It's just a story.
Yes.
Don't try so hard.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
Don't edit.
Don't try.
Okay.
You are not broken.
You are enough.
How do you know?
I just...
I just know.
I hope you're right.
But...
Is that wasn't enough for my mother?
Or the father of my child?
Or my child?
In what way?
What's...
What's the story?
To stay alive for?
To stay with?
My child, she still wants something.
I don't know what it is.
And I'm scared.
But I just don't have it.
So...
I hope you're right.
Don't hope!
Don't hope!
Be...
never...
ever...
ever...
given to hope.
Just be.
Do you want some water?
I just want to thank Elon and everyone.
I feel giddy.
And Beverly.
Your face.
Thank you.
I don't know what's gonna happen next.
But I've surrendered to it.
It's like...
I'm talking, but...
what I'm saying...
might as well be nothing.
Nothing...
might be better?
Maybe I have...
Maybe I have nothing to say.
Why don't you shut the fuck up then?!
No!
No!
You know what, dear?
Maybe you should kill your dad.
He sounds like a real asshole.
Shut the fuck up.
Have you seen Elon?
No, she's the bad one.
The citizen's arrest.
The citizen's arrest is not a real thing.
Okay.
Ten steps back.
This is a crime scene we need to process.
She wants me to carry her to the car.
I'll go quietly if he carries me.
Otherwise I'll pee my pants and shit myself if I can.
And that smell will be in your car.
I think she means it.
Save me a place.
Surround me with friendly feet.
To share the edge.
The world.
And face the reality.
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
What the?!
Bless you.
Oops.
Sorry.
Three, two, one, action.
Let's get some riggers down there.
Let's go, boys.
Dylan, talk to me!
Dylan, talk to me!
We've got a head injury, concussion, GCS-12.
Yeah, a pair of the cells.
At the film set.
Oh, Jeanine.
Can I have one of those, please?
I know, man. It'll kill you too.
What if I don't crush my brain with blood from the inside first?
Oh!
Hey.
I want to kill myself.
No.
No.
Sorry, I can't move. I'm not allowed.
I don't want to hurt you more.
I think you're being dramatic.
It's like a dream. You don't know why you like it, but you do.
So strange.
You're strange.
Come to Cumberland.
Okay.
When she fell, I was so worried, because she still has the wig on.
Yeah, we'll have to see if they let you in the ambulance.
I could just take the pins out and lift it gently.
No, I don't want anyone touching her head.
Don't you guys do spare wigs?
She is the spare.
So this is going to be all about rest.
That's no phones, no screens, and no alcohol.
Meditation can be good, and the concussion clinic is going to fill you in with the details.
Oh, no blackouts at the halfway party then.
Boring.
I love seeing who has surprise partners.
You don't act like you've got someone.
No, I don't.
Oh, good for you.
Al Moore's girlfriend's coming.
Apparently she's really nice.
No, I never trust nice.
Hey, do you?
Like, what even is nice?
Hang on, I'm just going to...
Okay.
Alright, let's hurry then.
Sorry, no, not you.
You don't hurry.
Take your time.
I'm going to walk.
Really?
Yeah, I'm going to walk.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I feel like it.
Okay, don't hit your face.
I think your phone's ringing.
Okay.
Dad?
No, I...
No, I haven't heard from her. She's in the US on some retreat and doesn't want to be disturbed.
Mom did what?
Hello there.
Hello there.
Lucy?
Yes?
I'm your public defender, Leonard Gao.
You can call me Leo, like the, um, star sign. If you like.
Is it your star sign?
Um, no, it's Virgo. Why? What does it mean?
Nothing.
What do you want it to mean?
That I'm special.
You're very special.
My mom was always saying so.
So, uh, Lucy, we have your arraignment in 15 minutes.
You want to go to prison?
So what, you're thinking you're going to play Gandhi, are you?
Nelson Mandela?
A middle-aged white lady who hit a model with a chair.
She's not just a model. She's also a DJ and actually a very annoying person.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
Do I remind you of your mommy?
A bit, actually.
Is she dead?
Yes.
How did you know?
Because I'm dead, too.
She could whistle so loud it would burst your eardrums.
Big laugh.
Was always very honest.
I bet she wasn't entirely honest.
How do you want to plead?
I don't feel guilt.
You almost killed her.
It was a really fucking good punch, by the way.
Still perky alive.
Came to check on you.
You look...
okay.
Yeah, I think...
Well, I thought I was doing really well, but I think I might actually be at quite a low point in my life.
Are you open?
As a person?
Uh, no, you...
Are you in an open relationship?
No.
Mom.
I feel so bad.
You're so cute.
You're not as cute.
You're not as cute.
You're so cute. You're so cute.
You're cute, too. You're a little bit cute.
Say it.
They're letting you go.
Have you heard things?
Heard what?
Hey.
Nothing.
Could it be a deal?
Don't tell me what to do.
Sorry.
That looks like a weapon. Can I take a look?
It's, um...
It's just a... It's a walking stick, which is...
Goes with my...
It's just a stick.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
I'm sorry.
Welcome aboard Armstrong Airways.
If evacuating the aircraft, passengers are required to leave all personal baggage behind.
All of it.
In the likely case of an emergency, if you are experiencing panic, try panicking on your own a little first.
And if the plane does make an unexpected landing, remember to never give in to hope.
Excuse me.
I don't mean to disturb you, but the plane is crashing.
There might be something we could do.
What?
We could... kiss?
I'm stuck.
Mom?
No! Get her off me!
Mom's here to see you.
Get me out of here! Get out!
Prestigious trial. Fuck.
What are you doing here?
I'm here to support you.
I'm alright.
Yeah, I'm okay.
I have my lawyer. He's very nice.
Um...
He thinks I'm lovely, like his mommy, could you imagine?
Um, I got you a present.
Thank you.
A room, please. The cheapest.
Oh, we're fully booked by the wedding.
Can I stay in your room tonight? Please?
Of course, my darling.
You look like a pirate.
That one's mine.
You want a hug?
Was it an accident?
You gonna hurt me?
Haven't I already?
Do you regret it?
I don't know, Dylan.
It just felt right in the moment.
Well, violence is not the answer.
It's not what I was looking for.
Your job's very violent.
It's not real. It's pretend.
It doesn't like pretend.
It doesn't solve anything.
Okay, well...
You smell. You should have a shower.
Mom, be serious.
Why'd you do it?
She was very fucking annoying, okay?
Okay, well, that's actually not good enough.
You're annoying, too.
You threatening me?
Maybe.
You can't take me.
I don't know.
I have more real-life experience than you.
Well, I'm bigger. And I'm stronger. And I'm younger.
And you're injured.
You'll be injured.
I'm joking.
I'm so hungry.
You?
Can I have some of your pizza?
No.
Why not?
Because I asked you and it's a mini-pizza. And I'm tired and hungry.
Please.
Please, please, please, please. I changed my mind.
No!
It's not very good, is it?
Oh, you hate me, don't you?
Hmm.
Didn't take very much, did it?
You're not showering?
What's going on?
Do you think I'm a bad mother?
Can you not do that?
Was I bad?
It doesn't matter.
I mean, you're bad sometimes, but you're not a bad person.
It's just bad behavior.
And what did you want from me?
I wanted you to get what you wanted. Or to get it for you.
So you would look at me like you weren't waiting to look away.
I...
When I was really little, I thought you were trying to escape me, but...
You were just unhappy, right?
It was just a hard time.
In what ways was I bad?
You... you weren't.
Your, um, grandma was difficult and she was complicated, and it just made it hard for you to give me what I needed.
What did you need?
It was hard to think of, like, a specific thing off the top of my head.
And you were quite needy, though.
Well, I was just struggling like a normal kid with normal depressive feelings.
And you told me that I was just like your mom who tried to kill herself.
You did. You tried. You tried to.
No, I didn't. It was for fun.
You hurled yourself off the neighbor's roof.
No, into the pool. For fun.
You ate all the sleeping pills and drank all of the alcohol, and it was the shallow end.
No, it was the deep end. And I had some sleeping pills, and I drank so I could feel good and high.
And I was sad sometimes, but I thought I was gonna be okay.
And I wanted you to think I was gonna be okay, too. It was a fucking party.
It was eight o'clock in the morning.
And you were cutting yourself. I'm sorry, you were cutting yourself with my Italian kitchen knives.
I did that twice, and it was a cry for help, and I don't communicate like that anymore.
Okay, well, see, that's what I'm saying. That is quite manipulative.
It was not eight a.m. It was night.
I remember you pitching yourself off the roof, and the sun was coming up. I will never forget that.
Mom, what are you talking about? You weren't there.
Yes, I was.
No, you weren't.
Yes, I was.
Where was I?
You were on a retreat.
And when you came back, you told me that if I had died, you would like to think you would get over it.
Well, I'd like to think I would get over it.
I don't want to be miserable because I love you. I want to be free.
You are miserable, and you are fucking free!
Dylan.
No.
Hey!
Lawyer!
Breakfast!
Oh, here she comes.
This is my daughter.
Hello.
Dylan.
Hi, Leonard. I'm the lawyer.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
You're wearing a jacket.
What can I get you?
I'm still thinking.
I'll have the vegetarian baked breakfast with a side of...
Does your gravy have meat in it?
Yeah.
Oh, never mind.
I'll get a side of bacon. Could you make it crispy, but not burnt?
With what?
I'll have the pancakes.
Do you have a special?
Oh, we might. I'll go check the borders down the other end.
Mom!
Yes, please.
What?
Can we get our coffee borders in first, please?
Oh, yeah. I mean, that might take me a bit longer. What do you want?
Um, black coffee, thanks.
Black for me, too.
What kind of milk do you have?
We got all the milks.
Um, I'll have black, too.
Uh, with coconut milk on the side.
We don't have coconut milk.
Oh, um, soy milk. Heated, please.
And you know what? I don't worry about the special. I'll have the vegetarian big breakfast, too.
With bacon on the side?
Yeah, crispy, please.
If you're going that way, maybe just, you know, do tell me what the special is, because maybe I will change my order.
Mm-hmm.
Big V breakfast, pancakes, big V breakfast with crispy bacon, or maybe the special.
Three black coffees, soy milk on the side.
Heated.
Hot milk.
Yeah.
Or maybe the special.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So...
Lucy, I have to ask you one thing.
Is it okay to do so in front of your daughter?
Yeah, absolutely.
Did you say to Beverly Woods...
that she should kill herself?
I did.
But it wasn't her that I meant to say it to.
It was a role play.
Okay. And who were you saying it to?
It was me, wasn't it?
No, it wasn't you.
Dylan, why do you act like I hate you?
Because you act like you hate me.
Well, I certainly don't hate you.
I love you.
I love you more than life itself.
It was a role play to my mother.
Excuse me.
I just...
have to go to the bathroom for a second.
What I did to Beverly was...
it was very unfair and...
we should just do whatever's right.
Right, Leo?
It's very good to hear that you're remorseful.
But right is, realizations aside, kind of relative in the law.
I mean, you broke it, so...
you're already in the wrong.
You okay?
You okay? Sorry about this.
No, I've seen...
Hey, is there a bathroom out there?
No, just the great outdoors.
Lucy!
It's gotta stop.
All this nonsense.
All this cruelty.
Well, actually, you have got to stop because you are the adult.
But you're an adult now, too.
Dylan, you're...
you're gonna have to find a way to forgive me.
And then you're gonna have to find a way to forgive yourself for taking so long to forgive me.
Look, what I should have said?
You are the fiercest and most terrifyingly alive thing that could have come out of me.
And if you died, I'd have to believe that I could get over it because I'm not sure that I could.
I mean, I'm barely managing to get over everything else.
Well, you probably should have said nothing of the kind.
You should have hugged me and gotten professional help.
But I appreciate it.
Right.
Right.
Fuck!
I mean...
You're a fucking mess.
Mm-hmm.
Well...
Should we pretend we drowned in the river?
Just now?
Yeah.
More ghosts.
It takes the pressure off.
I got it.
Really?
I should have said, darling girl.
Please.
Take good care of yourself.
I love you very much.
Yeah, I should have.
He says the special is...
It's...
Eggs Benedict.
And hash.
And...
Back to life.
Back to life.
Did you find your mom?
Yeah, she...
Mom!
What's on the other side?
Mount Hypnos has wolves in the National Park.
Mom, there are wolves!
I have to get her.
Sorry.
Yeah, no, yes.
Indeed, the cops might take the absconding badly.
Hey, hey!
I grew up around here.
And I know the area.
Mom!
And would very much like to come.
And...
Unless I am vehemently not invited.
There's good hiking spots around here.
And you can drink from the streams above the cow dung.
Mom!
Oh, almost full reception.
Lucy!
Filling, huh?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Can I?
Yeah.
What if we're enemies?
And we're in battle.
But we have a mutual fury and respect.
And today we fuck.
And tomorrow we're at war.
Isn't it kinky enough that you're seducing your mother's defense attorney?
No, okay.
Okay, um...
At last.
To have you.
Do you have a condom?
No.
Lucy!
I'm sick.
No, I do, um...
There's a cave around here.
Show me.
Lucy, are you in here?
Oh, hey.
Don't...
Don't go too far.
I nearly died here.
Why?
Is there a dragon?
No, I, um...
I lost sight of the mouth.
Trying to get to the other side.
For a while it was dark.
And then I saw this light ahead, and I was so excited.
But it wasn't until I saw the trees that I realized it was the same way I had entered.
I was lucky.
You can't tell where you're going.
You can go back and forth forever thinking it's blurry.
Dylan!
You okay?
Yeah.
Did you see something?
No, um...
How do you know where she is?
She's on top.
She's got a phone?
Hey!
Hey!
Dylan!
Come down from there!
No!
Fuck.
You come up here!
Can you please come down?
I'm here.
Fine.
Hey, Leo.
Take a picture of me with my daughter before I go to jail.
You're not gonna...
go to jail.
Yep.
Be yourself.
Be yourself.
I am being myself.
Just be yourself.
Got it.
Okay, now a candid one.
Be how you would if we were alone.
Happy?
Oh, eyes closed.
Why'd you take it there?
Don't ask me to forgive you.
Every time you said something you should never have said to me.
Baby, take it back.
Take it back.
Turn it back to long ago.
Give me oblivion.
I want this place where we're living in.
Cause you and I both know.
Baby, take it back.
Why'd you take when you say that you do?
But you don't act as if you care.
Take it back.
Take it back.