Bad Kids Go to Hell (2012) Movie Script
Okay go go go!
Police, police, police.
Who's got two?
Who's got two o'clock?
Get down! Get Down!
Drop the axe! Drop it!
Get down on the ground!
What the fuck?! Get down!
Get down.
Drop the axe!
Drop the axe!
T1...What's the situation? Do
you copy?
Carlos. Listen to me.
Officer Lewis is my
parole officer, okay?
I need you to call him and tell
him I'm at work! Got it?
Listen I... Listen to me.
I've got detention today.
That's right.
No. No, I'm not lying to him,
you're lying to him.
Got it?
Hey! Who keeps your business
going? This guy right here.
Shit!
Listen, the first few weeks
of school have been weird.
No she won't cover for
me because...
No, she dumped me.
Yes. Thank you!
Just have my back this one time.
Cover for me and...
I'll get yours another day.
Today...
I got other shit to sort out.
All fucktards, present
and accounted for, sir.
Jesus Max! You scared the
hell out of me, buddy.
Sorry Matt.
So, where's D-Day?
I think there's been a mix-up.
Okay.
Mister Clark, one does
not get to choose
when one serves detention!
Particularly, in regards to your
behavior, I sincerely doubt
that a mere detention would
satisfy this school's protocol.
There's a chair. Use it.
Your first few weeks here
were infamous, to say the least.
Yeah.
Thanks to those
spoiled T-baggers.
Hey, you wrote this?
Thank you Max.
You're new to Crestview,
but your incessant need to blame
more fortunate students for
your own misbehavior is
starting to trouble me.
I thought our sessions were
helping us curtail our anger
to build better leadership
skills?
Yeah. My uncle keeps telling me
that Clarks are born leaders.
He drinks... A lot.
You may not take my tests
seriously, but the student
body's dim opinion of you
aside, your responses to my
psychological evaluations reflect
an unbalanced personality.
Unbalanced?
Mr. Clark?!
And this?
Boobs.
This?
Bigger boobs?
Vagina.
Small boobs, but like..
weird nipples.
There's no...
How about this one?
Judas Priest.
You record those. What other
students you got in there?
We record everything, Mr. Clark.
And that's none of your business.
Dr. Day? Uhh...
My uncle's out of town for the
holidays. And my...
boss is hassling me, and
just it would make it
impossible for me...
Are you certain you didn't
receive any further
reprimand from Crestview
this week?
I'm here because I want to make
things right. Please let me.
Alright.
Alright, Matt. Against my
better judgment
I will let you serve your
detention. Today.
Let's just hope the rest
show up.
These are like paintings?
Yes, Max. They're a
bit like paintings.
What does this painting look
like to you?
It's like the art my
grandfather made.
But he would sculpt, not paint.
You just saw boobs.
How many bad kids today?
Max, I wouldn't classify any of
our students as 'bad kids'.
After Marquez drops me at the
airport, I'll send him back to
get you and wait until
you're dismissed.
I'll take a taxi.
Oh, and try to remember,
you kiss the babies.
You don't eat them.
Ugh. I've certainly had a
stomach full of you.
You see, Max, graduating
students often feel pressure,
which causes them to
behave irrationally.
They tend to sabotage
themselves.
Their minds, their bodies,
are fragile,
susceptible to all kinds
of negative influences.
More so than even they might
realize.
You okay son?
Yeah. I'm okay.
What's that you have stuck
inside your cast?
Just my video camera.
I thought I'd record my one and
only day in detention.
Some students here are more prone
to subversive behavior than others.
And certainly take
pleasure influencing
their peers, in an
unsavory fashion.
But it's the weaker students
who need the most guidance.
They're the first to fall
in line behind the less
constructive students.
For the weaker students,
failure hits them hardest.
They fall into a self
destructive pattern.
When you mix all of these
personality types together
ten months out of the year, it's
no wonder
students succumb to fits
of jealousy, rage,
even paranoid delusion.
The new building looks nice,
father.
Time will tell. Hopefully, it
will serve its purpose. Yes?
Now, go.
I'm sorry, fath...
It happens every
year every school
Students lash out.
At their parents. Environment,
even at each other.
More often you hear on the TV
about that one young adult
who finally snapped.
Honestly Max, it's a miracle
they don't all kill each other.
Sweet Jesus.
You're kidding.
God-damn.
Oh yeah. This is gonna rock.
What?
Let's go. Keep moving. The
books won't bite you.
Whoa.
I moved it in here last night.
Yes, you did, Max.
In the dark, and all by
yourself, I might add.
Yeah, it was scary.
I heard noises.
You heard the ghost,
didn't you, Max?
Ghost?
Please, Miss Harmon.
Max, it was the wind, or some
other treacherous piece
of equipment those lunk-head construction
workers leave behind every night.
Whatever you heard, believe me,
it wasn't a ghost.
I dig it, Max.
You would. It's weird
and freaky.
Just like you Megan.
Careful lighting the fuse on
her tampon. Her pops is the
world's douchiest lawyer. You
may want to call it a draw.
No way.
Her little routine in the champagne
room got me in deep shit.
I know. I've seen all your
greatest hits.
Yeah, that's you.
Are you sad?
You don't fuck around with
making an impression.
It's Matt, right?
Okay.
Are you sure this place is safe?
I'm confident the six of you can
survive an entire eight hours.
God forbid you actually
read something.
How's it hangin' Max-a million?
Okay.
Rome is the capital of Italy and
the country's largest and
most populated city and commune
with over 2.7 million residents.
See? State of the art.
We only have Intranet?!
I bet they use it for
downloading dirty movies.
No Max. See, the Intranet is a
local based Ethernet system.
Never mind.
No Internet. Pathetic.
Sure, cause you got to keep up
with all your online charities.
Under-crust.
And he's a pervert.
You got off easy. This fuckin'
psycho put me in traction.
And he attacks retarded people.
He's not a good person.
He's disabled. Not retarded!
Which is more than I can say
for any of you.
The restroom! Mr. Clark,
perhaps you could lead the way?
Release the Kraken!
Ahhhhhh
Excuse.
Tricia, heard your mom is
ahead in the polls.
Where's her next stop?
"Attila the Hen?" She left today
for, wherever.
Out to get more money and
souls for the coffer.
The picture of her, in Forbes.
She's beautiful.
Her mom should date your pops.
That pic of him in the paper
next to his client?
How many billions did it say
that guy embezzled?
From a pension fund, I
think. But your pops
got him off, right?
I see you outside, smoking,
most of the time. Veronica?
You're new.
Actually, "Red" I've been
here a year.
Uh, that qualify me as "new?"
Uh, yes! It does at Crestview.
You're not a "lifer." Like us.
So what do your parents do,
Veronica?
Oh, God. Not too much.
They're both uh
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
I probably talk to them more
than you talk to yours.
Yeah.
Right, um, yeah,
I don't think so.
Sure I do.
Ever been to a seance?
Uh. Okay. It looks like it is
about time for you to
drop a big deuce, Veronica
cause you're at maximum
capacity.
No, really, I talk with 'em
every day.
That's why I'm not fucked-up
like everyone else at Crest-Pew.
Uh, that's weird.
And you're not funny.
All my parents do is work.
I can never see them.
You're lucky.
My mother's parental guidance
is completely Draconian.
Speaking of parental guidance,
it's a shame D-Day
has to waste his first day
of winter vacation
here at school, watching us.
I think I'll send him
home early.
While pondering your erroneous
ways, the six of you will write
a summary on the history of
Crestview Academy.
Which, after the holidays,
Headmaster Nash will have the
glorious pleasure of reading at a
dedication for this very library.
And now, I leave you.
And these finely crafted double
doors will remain locked
until I return for lunch,
another jaunt to the restroom,
and perhaps, a quick chat.
And when he returned, the
room was filled with blood.
Dun-dun-dun - dunnnn.
Joking. You know, 'cause of
the ghost and stuff?
Right then. I'll be off,
unless there's anything
else I'm forgetting?
What?
Nice shot "champ." Try doing
that in the game.
Don't look at me like that.
Stupid.
There's room for more. I'm sure
you're familiar with that phrase.
Uh..I don't have one.
Dr. Day, don't you know he's
the token welfare kid?
And do think of this entire
building as one very large
non-smoking section. It would be
a pity if we had to spend next
Saturday here because one of
you had a nic-fit.
Goodbye, Mr. Chips.
But, his name is Dr. Day.
And now it's Willie.
Willie Makeittotheshitter?
I don't get it.
She put eyedrops in -
D-Day's coffee.
Great, so who's gonna let us
out for lunch?
Or when you need to release
the Krakken?
Ohhh...
Well, now that D-Day is gone, I
think we should all get togeth-
Hold it! God damn it.
Alright. New kids?
Let's get one thing perfectly
clear. We're in detention.
Yeah, this is not a
"love-in." This is not a hippy
commune like that sad, filthy,
flaming turd known as
Megan, what's it called?
What's it called?
Uh... the Burning Man.
Burning Man. And this is not the
fucking feel-good 80's movie of
the year, where for 7 hours, we
put aside our diffs and
through commiserating about
our mutually
dysfunctional family lives, or
how lonely or alienated
we each feel, we find some sort
of common ground, and end up
as BFFs. Okay? So let us
understand, there is no "us"
There is no "we." Because I
don't do "we." I just do "me."
Well then, I'm out like a boner
in sweatpants!
Carlos, you call my P-O, yet?
God Damn it, Carlos! Between
you, and the cast of
" Less Than Zero," I'm going
to snap, man!
Shit! Carlos? Look. You
gotta call my... uh...
Officer Lewis okay?
And tell him
You dropped something.
You may want to grab it or one of
these uber-sized roaches will eat it.
Looks official. Can I read it?
Uh...
I think I should start
on the assignment.
This library really is
haunted you know?
Right. I'll be careful.
If you came in here to jerk off,
I won't tell.
But you gotta let me watch.
C'mon, can't I get a
repeat performance?!
That's not how it happened!
Jeez, I was just kidding.
Prior to the eighteenth century,
the tribe inhabited much
of northern Texas.
During the Lipan's history,
they have engaged in extremely
violent battles with a number
of opposing forces
in attempt to maintain
their land.
Can I borrow a pen?
No. No you cannot.
The legends of the Lipan Apache
are pivotal to understanding
their spiritual connection
Ms. Gleason?
Yes, Matthew.
Can I go to the bathroom?
Make it quick please.
The legends of the Lipan Apache
are pivotal to understanding the
Veronica. Office, now!
Shit.
Thank you... Max.
The legends of the Lipan apache
are pivotal to
understanding their spiritual
connection to the land.
Due to the fact that the entire
tribe was nearly exterminated,
there is almost no ethnographic
or scientific information
about them.
You did that on purpose.
She deserved it. Okay?
She deserves a lot worse.
It used to be our parents' jobs
made them boring and mean.
But now, we're boring and mean.
I'm not boring. I'm bored. And
my parents are dead.
So are mine.
God. Stupid.
See? I told you! She's crazy!
turn it off.
Bring the dancing girl to my
office.
I'll deal with the pervert.
No. Uh. It's not
Don't touch me sticky boy!
My office!
It's just my zip My Office!
I will not have you skanking it
up in my classroom!
Get off that desk!
The remix is way better.
Word. Gotta love the YouTube.
Not as much as my father's
law firm. He's going
to make a mint suing them.
And whoever uploaded that video.
I know that everyone at
Crestview thinks I'm Arrogant
Smarter, than everyone else.
And I am. But when you
deal with as many haters as
I do, it taxes your nerves.
Interesting. Stress leads to
"Girls Gone Wild."
Look who's talking.
Look who's stripping.
Ooooh.
Practicing witchcraft might make
someone a freak but not a slut.
Right.
But I might be both.
Cool.
But you telling me, that you
get one little catty
note too many. It's a fucking
joke!
Look. I'm telling all of you,
like I told Dr. Day,
like I told the school board,
I've been stressed!
And on the advice of a
really, really, really
expensive lawyer,
I've said all I can say.
I know, right? And she's the
fucking nerd of this party.
And you're the fucking freak
who says she talks to corpse.
Obviously. She's talking to you.
Aww... You two.
Metal and Goth come together
in the haunted library.
It's really sweet.
Don't patronize me, bitch. My parents
are not on your mommy's pay roll.
And this place is haunted, and
everybody knows it.
It happened last year when
that old dude died.
My first year at Crestview, and
the school fucks over
this geriatric Indian, to take
his house.
Then demolishes it to
build, this.
Really? An Indian? You know
and "Indian" Indian?
Strange, but true, Scooby-Doo.
And ever since then, this entire
school has been cursed.
All that haunted library shit
is shit.
You afraid of ghosts, tough guy?
You know this cast is going to come
off one day, right, tough guy?
We could find out if this place is
cursed if you really wanted to.
How?
Yes.
Howwww?
Wow. Jesus fucking christ.
The pictures are
familiar to the spirit.
Spread them on the table.
They look really angry.
I would be too. Since this guy,
General Andrew Winston Clark,
stole some land from an Apache
tribe, back in the 1870s.
Land that became Crestview.
Clark? Any kin to you?
No way. This guy led a whole
calvary into battle.
But he did steal the land and
kill a bunch of natives.
So, it's a tough call.
Do you really worship the devil?
I do not worship the devil.
I just promote him.
Okay. Everyone, open your minds
and your thoughts.
Pretend you're in one of D-Day's
bullshit new age therapy sessions.
Relax your mind, Mr. Cook.
And tell me what you feel and what
you see, and Oh my God. Those tests.
His psych evals are
ridiculously in-depth.
I saw boobs. And rock.
Awesome. Who wants
to be the medium?
Aren't you the medium?
I can't be the medium,
I'm the guide. Someone else
has to be the medium, and so,
Tricia's the medium.
What? Me?
Look, if you guys are really
scared, we don't have to Scared?
No, I'm not scared.
Let's do this.
Don't worry, I'll guide you as
you're channeling the spirit.
The ringing of the bell will
signify the spirit's presence.
Everyone, join hands.
Whatever we do, our hands must stay
clasped, to keep the circle unbroken.
Now, together,
breathe in unison.
You okay?
Everyone, move into a welcoming
state. Imagine a time you were
eagerly awaiting someone coming
into town: A friend, a relative.
Then focus on the presence we
want to join us.
We welcome you, spirit.
Are you there?
Tricia, tell the spirit we
feel his presence here.
We feel your presence here.
Tricia, tell the spirit to
show us his presence.
Is the presence circumcised?
Maybe he's not packing
a very big presence.
Tricia, tell the spirit to
show us his presence.
Spirit? Show us your presence.
Well, that was fun.
Man, I told you, this is
some bull
Keep your hands together!
Don't break the circle!
You're doing this!
This is a trick!
No, I'm not doing anything!
What happened?
Meg? Meg? Breathe Meg!
Megan!
You don't see it?!
Oh shit.
Wait. Is she? Is she really?
What the fuck, man?!
Jesus, what the hell? What the
fuck is your problem, man?!?
I'm sorry, I thought, I
thought that you guys she's,
she's really
Yes! She's really fucking dead,
you assholes!
God.
D-Day has our phones.
And the construction crew is
gone during winter break.
Everyone's gone during
winter break.
Oh shit. Out of juice. Okay. I
got maybe enough for one call.
9-1-1?
Wait! If they put you on hold,
we're fucked.
Carlos. Yeah Carlos never
leaves his work.
Carlos! Carlos, listen to me,
listen to me
Who the fuck is Carlos?!
Just hit it open Craig!
Jesus, dude, you're just gonna
split your crutch!
Damn!
Stop! The axe will break! Okay, these
doors are titanium steel alloy!
Hold this.
We're trapped.
Yeah. With it.
Jesus, it's just the storm
messing with the lights.
Oh yeah? What about the bell?!
It's wind drafts blowing.
That was not a wind draft!
I don't know.
Like he said. It was the wind.
But I saw it! Okay! All of you
saw it and heard it, too!
Either a fuse or a transformer
got hit and overloaded
the lights. Okay, it makes a
low pitched wailing sound
like we heard in the room.
Please stop debating light
distortions and sound waves,
and figure out what
we're going to do!
I don't know.
Let's check our backpacks.
What is this?
Uh, that?
Study hall can be so boring.
I got a cable wire.
I got nothin'
What's this?
What is that?
Perhaps a letter of commendation?
Crest-peww mails them to all
their future world leaders.
What's the matter?
You don't trust me?
Do I need to?
It couldn't hurt.
Yes it would.
Tricia? Your backpack?
A backpack?
- Just take it out.
- What do you have?
Ooh!
Ahh...
Hey! Hey!
Oh my goodness!
You know we've got bigger stuff
to deal with than judging you.
Holy shit, I am so relieved.
Really!
You sneaky little mother fu...
I don't know how it got in
there! I swear I didn't take it!
Last week, in the lunchroom,
like that, you didn't take it?
I don't know what
he's talking about!
Alright, don't listen to him!
He's not a good person!
I'm talking about this!
In the lunchroom.
I figured out what you pulled.
Hey! Watch it!
Sorry!
- Hey, can I get a napkin?
- No.
Hey, listen, asshole!
I just want a napkin.
Oh. Sorry.
A leader remains calm in the
face of adversity, Mister Clark.
And I am.
Just like you taught me.
Excellent.
Veronica! Office! Now!
Look. It wasn't her fault. Okay?
It was an accident.
- She didn't mean to do it.
- No. She did. She always means it.
And what about Megan? Hmm?
Was her strip show one of your
Leadership Mantras?
A detention does seem rather
trite, but I'm afraid her father
carries a certain amount
of influence.
However, if you are able to
earn early acceptance to
Harvard as did Miss McDurst,
then perhaps I can discuss
reducing your chores with
Headmaster Nash.
Thanks D-Day.
I'd appreciate that.
Right, then, I'll be off.
I believe I read something
about a General Clark once.
Apparently, he was a
most capable leader.
Who knows maybe
Maybe it skips a generation?
Perhaps.
Although, he wasn't very
popular with the locals either.
Excuse me. Find your seats.
Hey!
Hey!
That dude stole my soup.
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Where you rushing off to?
Mister Clark! Here at Crestview
we frown upon attacking
the retarded students.
He's not retarded. I was
I was just
You were just on your way
to my office Mister Clark.
But Tarek stole my soup!
You stole food from a wheelchair
bound retarded boy.
I'm not retarded!
Of course not. Good for you.
Mister Clark! Let's go!
You too!
Are you okay?
That has to be the most
bullshit story I've ever heard
in my life.
You believe me, right?
I only saw you tackle the
retarded kid.
I swear! I did not take
Megan's inhaler!
He's the criminal. Not me!
Then why wasn't the inhaler in
my backpack?
Perhaps, there have been things
that have recently
caused me some stress. Okay?
And I may or may not have always
acted rationally.
Okay. You!- all of you-don't understand.
You don't understand my father.
Okay?
He does not tolerate failure.
I must get into a good school.
So you're saying
What I'm saying is that today,
in this library,
I did not steal Megan's inhaler.
What I'm saying is, how did it
get in your fucking backpack?!
I don't know!
Sha-zam! The Crest-pew
Intranet in full effect!
Took some digging in the local
papers, but I found our dead Indian.
Jacob Rainwater? Not much of an
obituary.
Rainwater is survived by one
family member
prior to the city taking
possession of his home, he was
housed at the local psychiatric
ward for a month, before he
jumped out a window.
The city of Crestview has been declared
executor for the Rainwater estate.
Wouldn't next of kin take
possession of his house?
It's Crestview. Property taxes reside
somewhere in Never-Never Land.
I doubt any of his kin is a
real high roller.
Poor old guy died broke
and alone.
I bet you can relate, huh?
Look, all of this is
just a coincidence.
I don't believe in coincidences.
Neither do I. And there is no
such thing as ghosts.
Exactly. And thank you.
And fuck you for the shit you
said before that.
All of us were in that room!
We were all holding hands!
I did not steal her inhaler.
Maybe Tarek is
telling the truth!
The lights, the bell, the draft,
all of those fucking roaches.
Something is in here... with us.
It's him. It's Rainwater.
He's here.
Or, it's just the storm
messing with
A wind draft!
I've got to get out of here. I
gotta get out of here right now.
You're not going anywhere!
Can't you just get rid of it?!
It's not like your last
pregnancy, okay?
That was me, you assholes!
Up here! Look what I found!
Wow! It's a convincing, logical
end to this argument!
This is the sound ghosts make
to scare douchebags!
oooooooh, douchebaaags, oooaaa,
Judas Priest.
Air flows from the outside
vent right into this room,
which means there might
be a way out.
It's a maze up there, but I
think this duct may empty
out into the vent right above
the parking lot.
So we go get my cable wire, tie
it around someone's waist,
and follow our way back
to the vents.
Meaning your waist.
Who elected him leader?
You did.
Injured.
Hamas.
Scared and worthless, and that's
before any of this happened.
And, it's a toss up. Either
"can't fit" or "too fuckin' stupid."
Your choice.
- Bitch!
- Shut up, Craig. She's right!
I never said I was going
back in there.
Look, you may or may
not be sane.
And maybe you're not related to
any famous Generals,
but if any of D-Day's poking and
prodding has helped
release a new and improved Matt
Clark, I need him.
You've been up there once,
you can do it again.
If you don't go, who knows how
long we'd be stuck here.
Trust me, Matt.
Ugh. I've got to get myself
to the hospital.
I would take you,
but I have deliveries.
Deliveries?
Yeah. Maintenance and
deliveries. That's my job.
No, no, no, Max.
You need to stay here and keep
an eye on the kids.
Max! Dr. Day! Max!
Max! Up here!
I'll be quick.
I'll hold the fort.
Up here! Maaaax!
Ahhhhhhh.
Oh shit!
Someone got a nasty
progress report.
That's not what you think.
Really? Because I think it's your
transcripts from a local hoosegow.
f we could call the cops would
your parole officer tell
us why your record's
been sealed?
It was sealed because
I was a minor.
And it was a juvenile detention
facility. Not jail.
And I did my time. Okay? So if
you guys are
waiting for some big
reveal, forget it!
In juvee, were you raped?
Like a lot?
I told you. He's a fucking liar
and anything but a good person!
Shut up terrorist!
Placed under the same scrutiny
of the law that I was
You'd be stoned to death.
You crackhead. You'd get the
needle.
You'd die alone in your cell.
And you? You would be hanged.
Oh, and I'd enjoy it!
Excuse me. Do you have any Katy
Perry or Britney Spears?
Oh, let me check.
Oh, no sorry I don't!
Who doesn't have any Katy Perry
or Britney Spears?
Jesus. Everybody wants something
from someone at this school.
I don't want anything from you.
Really? Why not?
Because I don't think
anything will help.
Ay ay ay, I hate this mascot
shit.
Move!
Damn! Tricia?!
What?
When I said I wanted a
bitch with me on stage,
I meant my bitch.
Not the bitch.
What can I say Craig?
CrestView demands a strong
Indian Princess. And that's me.
It's not like your mother had
anything to do with the voting.
Ugh. If voting actually worked,
Crestview would make it illegal.
This entire school is about you.
Every year. Every day.
Let me have my day.
I'm just saying.
You really don't get it do you?
See, I thought my mother
and her associates made it
perfectly clear to you.
Everyone has scars. I know how
you got yours.
What if everyone else did?
How does it feel knowing your
entire life has been bought?
I don't know, Craig. Why don't
you ask your daddy.
My mother bought him a
long time ago.
So, I'd be very careful what
you say and who you say it to.
Poor old Governor Wilkes.
Always propping up that hole
in her billfold!
Apaches, let's show some school
spirit for Headmaster Nash!
Boo!
Thank you! Now it is time
Now it is time to play a song
for the guy who
said he doesn't want anything
from me.
Students! Take a good
look at Miss Harmon.
Don't end up like her!
Max!
Tricia! Tricia! Tricia! Tricia!
One guess who put the bowl of
punch above the stage.
One guess.
Craig?
What?
Well, you don't actually.
You actually believe him?
He's a jailrat!
He's a piece of shit!
He's a broke little bitch.
He's undercrust! He's
A guy with proof.
Is that your dick?
That's my zipper.
Okay. Good. 'Cause for a
second I thought.
And our next feature
presentation?
Aww, you two. Deception meets
bitterness in the haunted library.
Bastard! Why the fuck would you
do that to me Craig?
Why the fuck did you do
that to me? Answer me!
Okay. Hey!
You think you hate me because
I'm rich, popular, and banging a
different bitch every weekend.
But that's not why you hate me.
I think that's why I hate you.
No. You hate me because
I have options.
Any virtue you might have,
is because your options
are limited. Maybe you're not
such a gangster after all.
Maybe because you can't afford
it!
Well, that's actually kind of
insightful asshole!
Exactly. Two pretentious
assholes Shut up!
Both of you are just as
pretentious as we are.
Your ordinary little friends would slit
your throats for hanging out with us.
And you'd slit your own
throats before letting anyone
know how ordinary
you really are.
Fuck you!
Why? Because he's wrong?
Or because he's right?
Not you.
Not this broke mother fucker.
Or some coke head queen who gets
a Kool-Aid cum stain
on their dress is worth
me getting upset.
I'm getting out of here.
That's my focus.
And none of you are worth
the distraction.
I don't think our ghost
cares about your personal
goals and failures, hotshot.
Good. Because he's a
shitty lay.
Whatever.
And one seriously dumb nigger.
That was so not Twilight.
Bitch! I will fuck you up!
Whoa! Stop it! Stop it!
That's enough!
Get your hands off.
Stop it! Back off you two! God!
You are both just you
And there's no turning back! Do
you really believe your
parents' money can buy you out of who
you are and the shit that you do?
Check it out: A second class
criminal lecturing me on morality.
I've been smelling your bullshit
since we walked in here.
I saw the detention list this
morning. Your name wasn't on it.
Why are you in here? With us?
C'mon, you can tell me
Juvee, Jailbird, Gangsta, What
did they lock you up for?
You know, the next time a
guidance counselor
tells you to "just be yourself"
Don't.
Wai, wai, wai, wai, wait!
Where is Tarek?
Sneaky little mother fucker!
Well, he is Arab. Or Armenian?
Or something with curly pubes.
Yeah, fuck it!
That little guy was
scared shitless.
But he still went for it. It's
not like he saw a floor plan.
Tarek's dad built this place!
Pull up that article about
Rainwater's house.
On behalf of the city, McDurst
& DeLaney filed suit
to acquire said residence
from the deceased.
McDurst?
Megan's father.
And the city councilman
who drove the
ordinance against Rainwater?
And since mommy owns everyone's daddy,
what part did she play in all this? Hmm?
Jesus, Matt! Didn't you see the
sign outside? Who do you think
this library is named after?
The school gets a new library.
Our parents get guarantees
we graduate.
No matter what.
With honors, I'm sure. Still
think this is a coincidence?
I don't know. But man,
their parents are way bigger
douchebags than I thought!
At least they can afford to
keep us out of the joint.
Right. But your parents are still way
bigger douchebags than he thought.
God. As soon as I get out
of this fucking hellhole,
I'm going to call my parole officer.
Oh my God! It's him! Craig?
Craig! No!
I'm not fucking around!
I know this is a trick!
Then why do you have a gun?
Because he's scared!
Because he knows that this whole
fucking place is cursed!
This place is not cursed! There
is no such thing as ghosts!
Fuck!
Help! Matt! Matt!
they gave the last full measure
of devotion. That we here highly
It's the storm messing
with the lights.
Shall not have died in
vain that this nation under God.
I'm way more impressed with that
Hologram-o thingy now.
Holy shit! Can we get the
fuck out of here please?
Mother fucker!
Whatever you are, whatever you
want, it wasn't me!
Alright, You want revenge?!
Go find my father! Go Kill him!
He's the one that made the deal
with the school! Not me!
Okay. You go find Tricia.
And I'll get Craig.
Oh!
He fell, He fell down the steps!
He fell down the steps!
You, you fucking killed him!
No! He was shooting the gun. I
was trying to make him stop!
No! Please! Stop!
Please! I'm fucking scared, man.
Of what? Ghosts? Ghosts?
Are you kidding me?!
The fucking scariest thing at
this school is you!
Eeuuhh!
Okay. Tricia took some pills
that she had she's less, Tricia.
Good. 'Cause if I start
screaming, I don't need
some crazy bitch screaming
over my screaming.
You seem pretty chill now.
Oh, no thanks!
Sorry I blew your cover. I'm
just, freakin' out and
Don't sweat it.
Bad news travels fast
at Crestview.
It took them a while to
kick you out.
You know about those aptitude tests that
they give the students at Crestview?
Twenty nine.
Thirty five.
But, that's a perfect score.
Yeah, I work on carburetors
and shit.
Hmm.
And apparently, the school's average
needed a little help this year.
By the way, your name was not on
the detention list this morning.
I thought
You thought you'd weasel your
way in here
and give everyone the finger.
And then what?
I don't know.
I don't know. It was pretty
dumb, I guess.
Yep.
Yeah not as dumb though
as ghosts and demons and
Indian curses.
But even if you don't believe in
ghosts and demons.
Just be careful.
Yeah, I'll make sure to keep any
accidents away from you.
I didn't know Clarks possessed
such strong leadership skills.
Yeah. I must be rising to
the occasion.
I know. I can feel it against
my thigh.
Oh sorry. I hate those
fucking things.
I'm just scared and well
you wanna fuck?
There's someone outside!
That's my mother's Town Car!
It's the Janitor!
Max?
Yeah.
Max! Max!
- Max!
- Max! Max!
Max!
Ahhhh.
Dude.
Wow, Jesus Fucking Christ!
Thirty four.
Thirty four?
The entrance exam. I scored
thirty-four.
Well done. You like to work on
carburetors for fun, too?
That's supposed to be funny,
right?! Because I don't even
know what a carburetor is! No
matter how hard I try,
my mother would never trust me
to do anything on my own.
All those people who work for
her, she treats them like
property. She treats me the
same way.
Where's Veronica?
I begged my mother to let
Rainwater keep his house.
I told her I could graduate
without this fucking library.
Tricia! Where's Veronica?!
She just looked at me with
contempt.
You know what?
You and your mom sound like the
exact same person to me.
I have to leave, Matt.
No problem, I got it.
Hey! Could you um.
No!
No.
The paint bucket!
Oh Uh, No!
Tricia, these two are starting
to crack.
No one knows dick.
We're out of here in 6 months.
What's the problem?
Look! I got into Harvard by
myself. I don't need your
parents' donation to Crestview.
Or my parents' donation.
Or my parents for that matter.
Wow. And I thought
you were smart.
But really you're
just opinionated.
Thank you, Veronica.
You know I was thinking
Veronica. Office. Now!
Girls! Letters are here!
Whooo! Whooo! Letter!!!!
Tricia! Come on!!
Goodie! "Letters!"
Because nothing is more fun
than spelling shit. Seriously.
Guys! We say nothing.
We graduate. Go to college.
And move on with our kick ass
fucking lives. Got it?!
Letters! Everybody!
The Letters!!!
You're "A" Darcy. "P" is for
you. There you go. And "E!"
Claire is Captain, Tricia!
So she is always in the center.
So she is always the big "C."
Everyone knows you're an "H."
I get my trust fund
after college.
I don't need this coming back
to bite me on the ass.
What do you want us to do?
Turn Tricia in?
I say we let Governor Wilkes do
what she does best:
Take money. Throw it at a
problem. Make it go away.
Or perhaps not. I heard her
mother kicked Tricia out.
And doesn't want her coming back
home even after the election.
Well, there you go. Even
"Attila the Hen" is sick
of Tricia's bullshit.
We've got our "get out of jail
free card." Let's use it!
Fucking man up, Craig. It's not
like the cunt is going to
get the God damn electric chair.
And with her gone, I can keep
you company this summer.
Look, I'm not going to take you
guys down with me.
Go get Headmaster Nash. I'll
tell him everything,
and I'll clear your names.
It's my fucking mess.
So I'll let my mother
deal with it.
Go! Before I change my mind.
Tricia! Drop those backpacks!
It never stops with that kid.
Hey!
My office!
So, was it stress? Or maybe
you were possessed
by a dead Indian? Or maybe
maybe I'm lying? Is that it,
Tricia? Am I lying?!
Why? You have a disc
of that too?
Yes! I did. I fucking
dropped it.
It doesn't even matter.
Who would believe you?
Who would believe one word you
say? This is my school.
Everybody knows me.
And everybody loves me.
They would be on my
side because they
wouldn't know what
to do without me.
It's called influence. It's
called power. You don't have
enough of either for anyone
to believe you're right.
I don't need to be right.
I just don't need to know you.
Ahhh!
You piece of shit!
Don't talk to me like that!
You're undercrust!
Nobody talks to me like that!
Easy, Tricia!
Don't tell me what to do!
Nobody tells me what to do!
I'm not doing that. You can do
anything you want.
You're God damn right, I can.
ut Tricia if you kill him, it's
"Good bye, out-of-state college
condo" and "Hello, mommy's
guest house."
I mean, c'mon the scandal?
Your mom. Even if you
were acquitted, she'd never
let you out of her sight again.
Which means no escape
from her and her
Draconian parenting, right?
That's it. Easy, Tricia.
You just won Apache Princess.
One final "Fuck you!"
from Craig to Tricia.
Looks like visiting hours
are over.
For an Indian, he didn't put up
much of a fight.
Owww! God-dammit!
Careful, we don't want to leave
behind any physical evidence.
God! Get that camera off of me!
Craig, if that video ends up
on the Internet,
my mother's going to
be more than disappointed.
Tricia! That scarf is cashmere!
Guys. Guys. We've got to get
out of here right now.
Okay? The cops will be
here any minute!
We're screwed!
C.C. Signing off from the
14th floor!
Wow. And I thought
Go ahead and do it. My mother's
going to cut your heart out.
Considering this could sink her
whole battleship
she might even put me on
the payroll!
You know what?
I should put one through that
tiny little heart of yours.
Yes! Yes, you should.
But she's not worth it.
Your leadership mantras
really suck!
Look. I think I know
how to get rid of this
Native American wraith.
Veronica. There are no ghosts.
No. He's real. He didn't care
about the money.
He just wouldn't sell.
Look. I never held a
seance before.
I mean not one that actually
worked.
Okay, please. I know you think
this is all crap.
But if this helps her from
freaking out, or acting like
oh God, like I give a shit. But
I think this will help me.
What do you say?
This isn't going to work with
three people.
It, uh should. I usually contact
my parents alone.
Somebody else has to be the
medium this time.
You brought the spirit in. You're
the one who must escort it out.
I can't.
I'm the one who
Tricia.
You have to do this.
Fine.
Join hands.
And remember
Don't break the fucking circle.
I got it!
Jacob Rainwater,
are you here with us?
Jacob.
Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Jacob? It's time for you
to leave.
Veronica?!
Veronica?
If you make it out of here alive
tell Tricia to go fuck herself.
We need to get out of here.
Tell me it's you. There is no
ghost. It's just you.
Tricia. I didn't kill anybody.
I don't want to hurt you.
I just want to get out of here.
Tricia.
Tricia! hahahaha.
Tricia.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Come on! It's fucking
cold in here!
Ugghhh. Gross!
Hello, Mr. Clark.
Hmm. Wasn't he a Muslim?
Well, Tarek may not have had
his father's drive to succeed,
but he sure had his spunk.
I wasn't expecting to see him
pop out of that vent.
Last night Max almost found the
ghost setting up in here.
Pshh, like I'm nervous the
'tard might catch me.
Go make sure the 'tard isn't
lurking about,
ready to come lumbering in.
Ugghhh.
Hey, she's into older men.
Man she really bought all these
ghosts and demons shit, huh?
All Clear!
May I have Craig's gun back?
No.
Giving students behavior and
personality tests, finding out
what they will and won't respond
to is part of my job.
Learning how to trigger
emotional outbursts is the perk.
You, Mr. Clark, were of course,
a complete disappointment.
Ah ah ah ah ah.
Boobs? Judas Priest?
Although, I'm not sure Craig's
actually worked.
I think he really hated
Tricia. Or loved her.
There were supposed to be
five! I believe the
office sent your uncle a letter,
Mr. Clark. School policy.
I thought if Tricia saw this,
she'd finish you off.
But she kind of choked.
So I had to get creative.
But, why?
Synopsis: A group of seemingly
normal, well adjusted,
well-to-do teenagers are killed
inside a cursed library
built on land that,
coincidently, all their parents
have insidious vocational ties
to.
Instant best seller. I mean,
the book, the movie,
the TV series... we'll make a
mint! I know.
The irony is crazy huge, right?
I mean, c'mon.
Are you really bummed that
they're all dead? Really?
Really?!?!?
This school, sucks.
I'm sorry Matt. But it just
makes sense. Somebody has
to be the psycho. And it's
perfect. You're new.
You're a felon. And
you know you're poor.
So, it's an easy sell.
I mean c'mon. You beat up
retarded kids.
He's not
Wait wait wait what did you do
to get thrown into Ju-Vee?
Go fuck yourself!
You're sexy. But money and fame
are a little sexier.
You think Paris or Lindsay
ever served detention?
What a bitch! She was supposed
to pretend to poison me.
I'm running around vomiting all
over the sidewalk,
switching lights and carnival sounds
off and on like a circus chimp.
Hiding from Max.
Chasing Tarek about.
It's really cold out there!
Some insurance against
spiteful parents who may not
approve of my new book.
Ahhh... There. Now we're good.
Oh, nice work, Max.
I guess the 'tard can do
something right.
Oh! I almost forgot!
This is the Police department.
There! Now we're good.
Craig's gun still has one more
bullet left in it. Coincidence?
Or supernatural? You decide.
Please don't think ill of me.
I know the money, the fame,
will never cover the damage
these kids have done to others.
You see, I believe that a
certain amount of reparations
are overdue.
Long overdue.
These kids had to pay back what
they've been taking all these years!
I expelled that miscreant days
ago. Why was he still here?
That's some bad kid.
In all my time as a teacher,
never have I seen a greater
blight on organized education
than Mr. Clark.
Like a massive gravity
sinkhole,
he deforms every positive
thought he encounters.
before sucking it into a
vortex from hell.
Well. Don't blame yourself,
Mister Nash.
Why would I?!?!?
Excuse me sir. I need you to
step away from the evidence.
Sorry, Officer.
What do yo got there?
What does that say?
Does that say Remington?
Uhhh, Rainwater.
Jacob Rainwater. He was an
artist. A sculptor.
Before this library was built,
this land was his home.
Until a man with an army
came and took it all away!
Mr. Rainwater, we're going to
need you to stay here
for a while right here. We're
probably going
to have some more
questions for you.
Yes, sir.
No! No!
And so there's nothing
more to discuss.
Police, police, police.
Who's got two?
Who's got two o'clock?
Get down! Get Down!
Drop the axe! Drop it!
Get down on the ground!
What the fuck?! Get down!
Get down.
Drop the axe!
Drop the axe!
T1...What's the situation? Do
you copy?
Carlos. Listen to me.
Officer Lewis is my
parole officer, okay?
I need you to call him and tell
him I'm at work! Got it?
Listen I... Listen to me.
I've got detention today.
That's right.
No. No, I'm not lying to him,
you're lying to him.
Got it?
Hey! Who keeps your business
going? This guy right here.
Shit!
Listen, the first few weeks
of school have been weird.
No she won't cover for
me because...
No, she dumped me.
Yes. Thank you!
Just have my back this one time.
Cover for me and...
I'll get yours another day.
Today...
I got other shit to sort out.
All fucktards, present
and accounted for, sir.
Jesus Max! You scared the
hell out of me, buddy.
Sorry Matt.
So, where's D-Day?
I think there's been a mix-up.
Okay.
Mister Clark, one does
not get to choose
when one serves detention!
Particularly, in regards to your
behavior, I sincerely doubt
that a mere detention would
satisfy this school's protocol.
There's a chair. Use it.
Your first few weeks here
were infamous, to say the least.
Yeah.
Thanks to those
spoiled T-baggers.
Hey, you wrote this?
Thank you Max.
You're new to Crestview,
but your incessant need to blame
more fortunate students for
your own misbehavior is
starting to trouble me.
I thought our sessions were
helping us curtail our anger
to build better leadership
skills?
Yeah. My uncle keeps telling me
that Clarks are born leaders.
He drinks... A lot.
You may not take my tests
seriously, but the student
body's dim opinion of you
aside, your responses to my
psychological evaluations reflect
an unbalanced personality.
Unbalanced?
Mr. Clark?!
And this?
Boobs.
This?
Bigger boobs?
Vagina.
Small boobs, but like..
weird nipples.
There's no...
How about this one?
Judas Priest.
You record those. What other
students you got in there?
We record everything, Mr. Clark.
And that's none of your business.
Dr. Day? Uhh...
My uncle's out of town for the
holidays. And my...
boss is hassling me, and
just it would make it
impossible for me...
Are you certain you didn't
receive any further
reprimand from Crestview
this week?
I'm here because I want to make
things right. Please let me.
Alright.
Alright, Matt. Against my
better judgment
I will let you serve your
detention. Today.
Let's just hope the rest
show up.
These are like paintings?
Yes, Max. They're a
bit like paintings.
What does this painting look
like to you?
It's like the art my
grandfather made.
But he would sculpt, not paint.
You just saw boobs.
How many bad kids today?
Max, I wouldn't classify any of
our students as 'bad kids'.
After Marquez drops me at the
airport, I'll send him back to
get you and wait until
you're dismissed.
I'll take a taxi.
Oh, and try to remember,
you kiss the babies.
You don't eat them.
Ugh. I've certainly had a
stomach full of you.
You see, Max, graduating
students often feel pressure,
which causes them to
behave irrationally.
They tend to sabotage
themselves.
Their minds, their bodies,
are fragile,
susceptible to all kinds
of negative influences.
More so than even they might
realize.
You okay son?
Yeah. I'm okay.
What's that you have stuck
inside your cast?
Just my video camera.
I thought I'd record my one and
only day in detention.
Some students here are more prone
to subversive behavior than others.
And certainly take
pleasure influencing
their peers, in an
unsavory fashion.
But it's the weaker students
who need the most guidance.
They're the first to fall
in line behind the less
constructive students.
For the weaker students,
failure hits them hardest.
They fall into a self
destructive pattern.
When you mix all of these
personality types together
ten months out of the year, it's
no wonder
students succumb to fits
of jealousy, rage,
even paranoid delusion.
The new building looks nice,
father.
Time will tell. Hopefully, it
will serve its purpose. Yes?
Now, go.
I'm sorry, fath...
It happens every
year every school
Students lash out.
At their parents. Environment,
even at each other.
More often you hear on the TV
about that one young adult
who finally snapped.
Honestly Max, it's a miracle
they don't all kill each other.
Sweet Jesus.
You're kidding.
God-damn.
Oh yeah. This is gonna rock.
What?
Let's go. Keep moving. The
books won't bite you.
Whoa.
I moved it in here last night.
Yes, you did, Max.
In the dark, and all by
yourself, I might add.
Yeah, it was scary.
I heard noises.
You heard the ghost,
didn't you, Max?
Ghost?
Please, Miss Harmon.
Max, it was the wind, or some
other treacherous piece
of equipment those lunk-head construction
workers leave behind every night.
Whatever you heard, believe me,
it wasn't a ghost.
I dig it, Max.
You would. It's weird
and freaky.
Just like you Megan.
Careful lighting the fuse on
her tampon. Her pops is the
world's douchiest lawyer. You
may want to call it a draw.
No way.
Her little routine in the champagne
room got me in deep shit.
I know. I've seen all your
greatest hits.
Yeah, that's you.
Are you sad?
You don't fuck around with
making an impression.
It's Matt, right?
Okay.
Are you sure this place is safe?
I'm confident the six of you can
survive an entire eight hours.
God forbid you actually
read something.
How's it hangin' Max-a million?
Okay.
Rome is the capital of Italy and
the country's largest and
most populated city and commune
with over 2.7 million residents.
See? State of the art.
We only have Intranet?!
I bet they use it for
downloading dirty movies.
No Max. See, the Intranet is a
local based Ethernet system.
Never mind.
No Internet. Pathetic.
Sure, cause you got to keep up
with all your online charities.
Under-crust.
And he's a pervert.
You got off easy. This fuckin'
psycho put me in traction.
And he attacks retarded people.
He's not a good person.
He's disabled. Not retarded!
Which is more than I can say
for any of you.
The restroom! Mr. Clark,
perhaps you could lead the way?
Release the Kraken!
Ahhhhhh
Excuse.
Tricia, heard your mom is
ahead in the polls.
Where's her next stop?
"Attila the Hen?" She left today
for, wherever.
Out to get more money and
souls for the coffer.
The picture of her, in Forbes.
She's beautiful.
Her mom should date your pops.
That pic of him in the paper
next to his client?
How many billions did it say
that guy embezzled?
From a pension fund, I
think. But your pops
got him off, right?
I see you outside, smoking,
most of the time. Veronica?
You're new.
Actually, "Red" I've been
here a year.
Uh, that qualify me as "new?"
Uh, yes! It does at Crestview.
You're not a "lifer." Like us.
So what do your parents do,
Veronica?
Oh, God. Not too much.
They're both uh
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
I probably talk to them more
than you talk to yours.
Yeah.
Right, um, yeah,
I don't think so.
Sure I do.
Ever been to a seance?
Uh. Okay. It looks like it is
about time for you to
drop a big deuce, Veronica
cause you're at maximum
capacity.
No, really, I talk with 'em
every day.
That's why I'm not fucked-up
like everyone else at Crest-Pew.
Uh, that's weird.
And you're not funny.
All my parents do is work.
I can never see them.
You're lucky.
My mother's parental guidance
is completely Draconian.
Speaking of parental guidance,
it's a shame D-Day
has to waste his first day
of winter vacation
here at school, watching us.
I think I'll send him
home early.
While pondering your erroneous
ways, the six of you will write
a summary on the history of
Crestview Academy.
Which, after the holidays,
Headmaster Nash will have the
glorious pleasure of reading at a
dedication for this very library.
And now, I leave you.
And these finely crafted double
doors will remain locked
until I return for lunch,
another jaunt to the restroom,
and perhaps, a quick chat.
And when he returned, the
room was filled with blood.
Dun-dun-dun - dunnnn.
Joking. You know, 'cause of
the ghost and stuff?
Right then. I'll be off,
unless there's anything
else I'm forgetting?
What?
Nice shot "champ." Try doing
that in the game.
Don't look at me like that.
Stupid.
There's room for more. I'm sure
you're familiar with that phrase.
Uh..I don't have one.
Dr. Day, don't you know he's
the token welfare kid?
And do think of this entire
building as one very large
non-smoking section. It would be
a pity if we had to spend next
Saturday here because one of
you had a nic-fit.
Goodbye, Mr. Chips.
But, his name is Dr. Day.
And now it's Willie.
Willie Makeittotheshitter?
I don't get it.
She put eyedrops in -
D-Day's coffee.
Great, so who's gonna let us
out for lunch?
Or when you need to release
the Krakken?
Ohhh...
Well, now that D-Day is gone, I
think we should all get togeth-
Hold it! God damn it.
Alright. New kids?
Let's get one thing perfectly
clear. We're in detention.
Yeah, this is not a
"love-in." This is not a hippy
commune like that sad, filthy,
flaming turd known as
Megan, what's it called?
What's it called?
Uh... the Burning Man.
Burning Man. And this is not the
fucking feel-good 80's movie of
the year, where for 7 hours, we
put aside our diffs and
through commiserating about
our mutually
dysfunctional family lives, or
how lonely or alienated
we each feel, we find some sort
of common ground, and end up
as BFFs. Okay? So let us
understand, there is no "us"
There is no "we." Because I
don't do "we." I just do "me."
Well then, I'm out like a boner
in sweatpants!
Carlos, you call my P-O, yet?
God Damn it, Carlos! Between
you, and the cast of
" Less Than Zero," I'm going
to snap, man!
Shit! Carlos? Look. You
gotta call my... uh...
Officer Lewis okay?
And tell him
You dropped something.
You may want to grab it or one of
these uber-sized roaches will eat it.
Looks official. Can I read it?
Uh...
I think I should start
on the assignment.
This library really is
haunted you know?
Right. I'll be careful.
If you came in here to jerk off,
I won't tell.
But you gotta let me watch.
C'mon, can't I get a
repeat performance?!
That's not how it happened!
Jeez, I was just kidding.
Prior to the eighteenth century,
the tribe inhabited much
of northern Texas.
During the Lipan's history,
they have engaged in extremely
violent battles with a number
of opposing forces
in attempt to maintain
their land.
Can I borrow a pen?
No. No you cannot.
The legends of the Lipan Apache
are pivotal to understanding
their spiritual connection
Ms. Gleason?
Yes, Matthew.
Can I go to the bathroom?
Make it quick please.
The legends of the Lipan Apache
are pivotal to understanding the
Veronica. Office, now!
Shit.
Thank you... Max.
The legends of the Lipan apache
are pivotal to
understanding their spiritual
connection to the land.
Due to the fact that the entire
tribe was nearly exterminated,
there is almost no ethnographic
or scientific information
about them.
You did that on purpose.
She deserved it. Okay?
She deserves a lot worse.
It used to be our parents' jobs
made them boring and mean.
But now, we're boring and mean.
I'm not boring. I'm bored. And
my parents are dead.
So are mine.
God. Stupid.
See? I told you! She's crazy!
turn it off.
Bring the dancing girl to my
office.
I'll deal with the pervert.
No. Uh. It's not
Don't touch me sticky boy!
My office!
It's just my zip My Office!
I will not have you skanking it
up in my classroom!
Get off that desk!
The remix is way better.
Word. Gotta love the YouTube.
Not as much as my father's
law firm. He's going
to make a mint suing them.
And whoever uploaded that video.
I know that everyone at
Crestview thinks I'm Arrogant
Smarter, than everyone else.
And I am. But when you
deal with as many haters as
I do, it taxes your nerves.
Interesting. Stress leads to
"Girls Gone Wild."
Look who's talking.
Look who's stripping.
Ooooh.
Practicing witchcraft might make
someone a freak but not a slut.
Right.
But I might be both.
Cool.
But you telling me, that you
get one little catty
note too many. It's a fucking
joke!
Look. I'm telling all of you,
like I told Dr. Day,
like I told the school board,
I've been stressed!
And on the advice of a
really, really, really
expensive lawyer,
I've said all I can say.
I know, right? And she's the
fucking nerd of this party.
And you're the fucking freak
who says she talks to corpse.
Obviously. She's talking to you.
Aww... You two.
Metal and Goth come together
in the haunted library.
It's really sweet.
Don't patronize me, bitch. My parents
are not on your mommy's pay roll.
And this place is haunted, and
everybody knows it.
It happened last year when
that old dude died.
My first year at Crestview, and
the school fucks over
this geriatric Indian, to take
his house.
Then demolishes it to
build, this.
Really? An Indian? You know
and "Indian" Indian?
Strange, but true, Scooby-Doo.
And ever since then, this entire
school has been cursed.
All that haunted library shit
is shit.
You afraid of ghosts, tough guy?
You know this cast is going to come
off one day, right, tough guy?
We could find out if this place is
cursed if you really wanted to.
How?
Yes.
Howwww?
Wow. Jesus fucking christ.
The pictures are
familiar to the spirit.
Spread them on the table.
They look really angry.
I would be too. Since this guy,
General Andrew Winston Clark,
stole some land from an Apache
tribe, back in the 1870s.
Land that became Crestview.
Clark? Any kin to you?
No way. This guy led a whole
calvary into battle.
But he did steal the land and
kill a bunch of natives.
So, it's a tough call.
Do you really worship the devil?
I do not worship the devil.
I just promote him.
Okay. Everyone, open your minds
and your thoughts.
Pretend you're in one of D-Day's
bullshit new age therapy sessions.
Relax your mind, Mr. Cook.
And tell me what you feel and what
you see, and Oh my God. Those tests.
His psych evals are
ridiculously in-depth.
I saw boobs. And rock.
Awesome. Who wants
to be the medium?
Aren't you the medium?
I can't be the medium,
I'm the guide. Someone else
has to be the medium, and so,
Tricia's the medium.
What? Me?
Look, if you guys are really
scared, we don't have to Scared?
No, I'm not scared.
Let's do this.
Don't worry, I'll guide you as
you're channeling the spirit.
The ringing of the bell will
signify the spirit's presence.
Everyone, join hands.
Whatever we do, our hands must stay
clasped, to keep the circle unbroken.
Now, together,
breathe in unison.
You okay?
Everyone, move into a welcoming
state. Imagine a time you were
eagerly awaiting someone coming
into town: A friend, a relative.
Then focus on the presence we
want to join us.
We welcome you, spirit.
Are you there?
Tricia, tell the spirit we
feel his presence here.
We feel your presence here.
Tricia, tell the spirit to
show us his presence.
Is the presence circumcised?
Maybe he's not packing
a very big presence.
Tricia, tell the spirit to
show us his presence.
Spirit? Show us your presence.
Well, that was fun.
Man, I told you, this is
some bull
Keep your hands together!
Don't break the circle!
You're doing this!
This is a trick!
No, I'm not doing anything!
What happened?
Meg? Meg? Breathe Meg!
Megan!
You don't see it?!
Oh shit.
Wait. Is she? Is she really?
What the fuck, man?!
Jesus, what the hell? What the
fuck is your problem, man?!?
I'm sorry, I thought, I
thought that you guys she's,
she's really
Yes! She's really fucking dead,
you assholes!
God.
D-Day has our phones.
And the construction crew is
gone during winter break.
Everyone's gone during
winter break.
Oh shit. Out of juice. Okay. I
got maybe enough for one call.
9-1-1?
Wait! If they put you on hold,
we're fucked.
Carlos. Yeah Carlos never
leaves his work.
Carlos! Carlos, listen to me,
listen to me
Who the fuck is Carlos?!
Just hit it open Craig!
Jesus, dude, you're just gonna
split your crutch!
Damn!
Stop! The axe will break! Okay, these
doors are titanium steel alloy!
Hold this.
We're trapped.
Yeah. With it.
Jesus, it's just the storm
messing with the lights.
Oh yeah? What about the bell?!
It's wind drafts blowing.
That was not a wind draft!
I don't know.
Like he said. It was the wind.
But I saw it! Okay! All of you
saw it and heard it, too!
Either a fuse or a transformer
got hit and overloaded
the lights. Okay, it makes a
low pitched wailing sound
like we heard in the room.
Please stop debating light
distortions and sound waves,
and figure out what
we're going to do!
I don't know.
Let's check our backpacks.
What is this?
Uh, that?
Study hall can be so boring.
I got a cable wire.
I got nothin'
What's this?
What is that?
Perhaps a letter of commendation?
Crest-peww mails them to all
their future world leaders.
What's the matter?
You don't trust me?
Do I need to?
It couldn't hurt.
Yes it would.
Tricia? Your backpack?
A backpack?
- Just take it out.
- What do you have?
Ooh!
Ahh...
Hey! Hey!
Oh my goodness!
You know we've got bigger stuff
to deal with than judging you.
Holy shit, I am so relieved.
Really!
You sneaky little mother fu...
I don't know how it got in
there! I swear I didn't take it!
Last week, in the lunchroom,
like that, you didn't take it?
I don't know what
he's talking about!
Alright, don't listen to him!
He's not a good person!
I'm talking about this!
In the lunchroom.
I figured out what you pulled.
Hey! Watch it!
Sorry!
- Hey, can I get a napkin?
- No.
Hey, listen, asshole!
I just want a napkin.
Oh. Sorry.
A leader remains calm in the
face of adversity, Mister Clark.
And I am.
Just like you taught me.
Excellent.
Veronica! Office! Now!
Look. It wasn't her fault. Okay?
It was an accident.
- She didn't mean to do it.
- No. She did. She always means it.
And what about Megan? Hmm?
Was her strip show one of your
Leadership Mantras?
A detention does seem rather
trite, but I'm afraid her father
carries a certain amount
of influence.
However, if you are able to
earn early acceptance to
Harvard as did Miss McDurst,
then perhaps I can discuss
reducing your chores with
Headmaster Nash.
Thanks D-Day.
I'd appreciate that.
Right, then, I'll be off.
I believe I read something
about a General Clark once.
Apparently, he was a
most capable leader.
Who knows maybe
Maybe it skips a generation?
Perhaps.
Although, he wasn't very
popular with the locals either.
Excuse me. Find your seats.
Hey!
Hey!
That dude stole my soup.
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Where you rushing off to?
Mister Clark! Here at Crestview
we frown upon attacking
the retarded students.
He's not retarded. I was
I was just
You were just on your way
to my office Mister Clark.
But Tarek stole my soup!
You stole food from a wheelchair
bound retarded boy.
I'm not retarded!
Of course not. Good for you.
Mister Clark! Let's go!
You too!
Are you okay?
That has to be the most
bullshit story I've ever heard
in my life.
You believe me, right?
I only saw you tackle the
retarded kid.
I swear! I did not take
Megan's inhaler!
He's the criminal. Not me!
Then why wasn't the inhaler in
my backpack?
Perhaps, there have been things
that have recently
caused me some stress. Okay?
And I may or may not have always
acted rationally.
Okay. You!- all of you-don't understand.
You don't understand my father.
Okay?
He does not tolerate failure.
I must get into a good school.
So you're saying
What I'm saying is that today,
in this library,
I did not steal Megan's inhaler.
What I'm saying is, how did it
get in your fucking backpack?!
I don't know!
Sha-zam! The Crest-pew
Intranet in full effect!
Took some digging in the local
papers, but I found our dead Indian.
Jacob Rainwater? Not much of an
obituary.
Rainwater is survived by one
family member
prior to the city taking
possession of his home, he was
housed at the local psychiatric
ward for a month, before he
jumped out a window.
The city of Crestview has been declared
executor for the Rainwater estate.
Wouldn't next of kin take
possession of his house?
It's Crestview. Property taxes reside
somewhere in Never-Never Land.
I doubt any of his kin is a
real high roller.
Poor old guy died broke
and alone.
I bet you can relate, huh?
Look, all of this is
just a coincidence.
I don't believe in coincidences.
Neither do I. And there is no
such thing as ghosts.
Exactly. And thank you.
And fuck you for the shit you
said before that.
All of us were in that room!
We were all holding hands!
I did not steal her inhaler.
Maybe Tarek is
telling the truth!
The lights, the bell, the draft,
all of those fucking roaches.
Something is in here... with us.
It's him. It's Rainwater.
He's here.
Or, it's just the storm
messing with
A wind draft!
I've got to get out of here. I
gotta get out of here right now.
You're not going anywhere!
Can't you just get rid of it?!
It's not like your last
pregnancy, okay?
That was me, you assholes!
Up here! Look what I found!
Wow! It's a convincing, logical
end to this argument!
This is the sound ghosts make
to scare douchebags!
oooooooh, douchebaaags, oooaaa,
Judas Priest.
Air flows from the outside
vent right into this room,
which means there might
be a way out.
It's a maze up there, but I
think this duct may empty
out into the vent right above
the parking lot.
So we go get my cable wire, tie
it around someone's waist,
and follow our way back
to the vents.
Meaning your waist.
Who elected him leader?
You did.
Injured.
Hamas.
Scared and worthless, and that's
before any of this happened.
And, it's a toss up. Either
"can't fit" or "too fuckin' stupid."
Your choice.
- Bitch!
- Shut up, Craig. She's right!
I never said I was going
back in there.
Look, you may or may
not be sane.
And maybe you're not related to
any famous Generals,
but if any of D-Day's poking and
prodding has helped
release a new and improved Matt
Clark, I need him.
You've been up there once,
you can do it again.
If you don't go, who knows how
long we'd be stuck here.
Trust me, Matt.
Ugh. I've got to get myself
to the hospital.
I would take you,
but I have deliveries.
Deliveries?
Yeah. Maintenance and
deliveries. That's my job.
No, no, no, Max.
You need to stay here and keep
an eye on the kids.
Max! Dr. Day! Max!
Max! Up here!
I'll be quick.
I'll hold the fort.
Up here! Maaaax!
Ahhhhhhh.
Oh shit!
Someone got a nasty
progress report.
That's not what you think.
Really? Because I think it's your
transcripts from a local hoosegow.
f we could call the cops would
your parole officer tell
us why your record's
been sealed?
It was sealed because
I was a minor.
And it was a juvenile detention
facility. Not jail.
And I did my time. Okay? So if
you guys are
waiting for some big
reveal, forget it!
In juvee, were you raped?
Like a lot?
I told you. He's a fucking liar
and anything but a good person!
Shut up terrorist!
Placed under the same scrutiny
of the law that I was
You'd be stoned to death.
You crackhead. You'd get the
needle.
You'd die alone in your cell.
And you? You would be hanged.
Oh, and I'd enjoy it!
Excuse me. Do you have any Katy
Perry or Britney Spears?
Oh, let me check.
Oh, no sorry I don't!
Who doesn't have any Katy Perry
or Britney Spears?
Jesus. Everybody wants something
from someone at this school.
I don't want anything from you.
Really? Why not?
Because I don't think
anything will help.
Ay ay ay, I hate this mascot
shit.
Move!
Damn! Tricia?!
What?
When I said I wanted a
bitch with me on stage,
I meant my bitch.
Not the bitch.
What can I say Craig?
CrestView demands a strong
Indian Princess. And that's me.
It's not like your mother had
anything to do with the voting.
Ugh. If voting actually worked,
Crestview would make it illegal.
This entire school is about you.
Every year. Every day.
Let me have my day.
I'm just saying.
You really don't get it do you?
See, I thought my mother
and her associates made it
perfectly clear to you.
Everyone has scars. I know how
you got yours.
What if everyone else did?
How does it feel knowing your
entire life has been bought?
I don't know, Craig. Why don't
you ask your daddy.
My mother bought him a
long time ago.
So, I'd be very careful what
you say and who you say it to.
Poor old Governor Wilkes.
Always propping up that hole
in her billfold!
Apaches, let's show some school
spirit for Headmaster Nash!
Boo!
Thank you! Now it is time
Now it is time to play a song
for the guy who
said he doesn't want anything
from me.
Students! Take a good
look at Miss Harmon.
Don't end up like her!
Max!
Tricia! Tricia! Tricia! Tricia!
One guess who put the bowl of
punch above the stage.
One guess.
Craig?
What?
Well, you don't actually.
You actually believe him?
He's a jailrat!
He's a piece of shit!
He's a broke little bitch.
He's undercrust! He's
A guy with proof.
Is that your dick?
That's my zipper.
Okay. Good. 'Cause for a
second I thought.
And our next feature
presentation?
Aww, you two. Deception meets
bitterness in the haunted library.
Bastard! Why the fuck would you
do that to me Craig?
Why the fuck did you do
that to me? Answer me!
Okay. Hey!
You think you hate me because
I'm rich, popular, and banging a
different bitch every weekend.
But that's not why you hate me.
I think that's why I hate you.
No. You hate me because
I have options.
Any virtue you might have,
is because your options
are limited. Maybe you're not
such a gangster after all.
Maybe because you can't afford
it!
Well, that's actually kind of
insightful asshole!
Exactly. Two pretentious
assholes Shut up!
Both of you are just as
pretentious as we are.
Your ordinary little friends would slit
your throats for hanging out with us.
And you'd slit your own
throats before letting anyone
know how ordinary
you really are.
Fuck you!
Why? Because he's wrong?
Or because he's right?
Not you.
Not this broke mother fucker.
Or some coke head queen who gets
a Kool-Aid cum stain
on their dress is worth
me getting upset.
I'm getting out of here.
That's my focus.
And none of you are worth
the distraction.
I don't think our ghost
cares about your personal
goals and failures, hotshot.
Good. Because he's a
shitty lay.
Whatever.
And one seriously dumb nigger.
That was so not Twilight.
Bitch! I will fuck you up!
Whoa! Stop it! Stop it!
That's enough!
Get your hands off.
Stop it! Back off you two! God!
You are both just you
And there's no turning back! Do
you really believe your
parents' money can buy you out of who
you are and the shit that you do?
Check it out: A second class
criminal lecturing me on morality.
I've been smelling your bullshit
since we walked in here.
I saw the detention list this
morning. Your name wasn't on it.
Why are you in here? With us?
C'mon, you can tell me
Juvee, Jailbird, Gangsta, What
did they lock you up for?
You know, the next time a
guidance counselor
tells you to "just be yourself"
Don't.
Wai, wai, wai, wai, wait!
Where is Tarek?
Sneaky little mother fucker!
Well, he is Arab. Or Armenian?
Or something with curly pubes.
Yeah, fuck it!
That little guy was
scared shitless.
But he still went for it. It's
not like he saw a floor plan.
Tarek's dad built this place!
Pull up that article about
Rainwater's house.
On behalf of the city, McDurst
& DeLaney filed suit
to acquire said residence
from the deceased.
McDurst?
Megan's father.
And the city councilman
who drove the
ordinance against Rainwater?
And since mommy owns everyone's daddy,
what part did she play in all this? Hmm?
Jesus, Matt! Didn't you see the
sign outside? Who do you think
this library is named after?
The school gets a new library.
Our parents get guarantees
we graduate.
No matter what.
With honors, I'm sure. Still
think this is a coincidence?
I don't know. But man,
their parents are way bigger
douchebags than I thought!
At least they can afford to
keep us out of the joint.
Right. But your parents are still way
bigger douchebags than he thought.
God. As soon as I get out
of this fucking hellhole,
I'm going to call my parole officer.
Oh my God! It's him! Craig?
Craig! No!
I'm not fucking around!
I know this is a trick!
Then why do you have a gun?
Because he's scared!
Because he knows that this whole
fucking place is cursed!
This place is not cursed! There
is no such thing as ghosts!
Fuck!
Help! Matt! Matt!
they gave the last full measure
of devotion. That we here highly
It's the storm messing
with the lights.
Shall not have died in
vain that this nation under God.
I'm way more impressed with that
Hologram-o thingy now.
Holy shit! Can we get the
fuck out of here please?
Mother fucker!
Whatever you are, whatever you
want, it wasn't me!
Alright, You want revenge?!
Go find my father! Go Kill him!
He's the one that made the deal
with the school! Not me!
Okay. You go find Tricia.
And I'll get Craig.
Oh!
He fell, He fell down the steps!
He fell down the steps!
You, you fucking killed him!
No! He was shooting the gun. I
was trying to make him stop!
No! Please! Stop!
Please! I'm fucking scared, man.
Of what? Ghosts? Ghosts?
Are you kidding me?!
The fucking scariest thing at
this school is you!
Eeuuhh!
Okay. Tricia took some pills
that she had she's less, Tricia.
Good. 'Cause if I start
screaming, I don't need
some crazy bitch screaming
over my screaming.
You seem pretty chill now.
Oh, no thanks!
Sorry I blew your cover. I'm
just, freakin' out and
Don't sweat it.
Bad news travels fast
at Crestview.
It took them a while to
kick you out.
You know about those aptitude tests that
they give the students at Crestview?
Twenty nine.
Thirty five.
But, that's a perfect score.
Yeah, I work on carburetors
and shit.
Hmm.
And apparently, the school's average
needed a little help this year.
By the way, your name was not on
the detention list this morning.
I thought
You thought you'd weasel your
way in here
and give everyone the finger.
And then what?
I don't know.
I don't know. It was pretty
dumb, I guess.
Yep.
Yeah not as dumb though
as ghosts and demons and
Indian curses.
But even if you don't believe in
ghosts and demons.
Just be careful.
Yeah, I'll make sure to keep any
accidents away from you.
I didn't know Clarks possessed
such strong leadership skills.
Yeah. I must be rising to
the occasion.
I know. I can feel it against
my thigh.
Oh sorry. I hate those
fucking things.
I'm just scared and well
you wanna fuck?
There's someone outside!
That's my mother's Town Car!
It's the Janitor!
Max?
Yeah.
Max! Max!
- Max!
- Max! Max!
Max!
Ahhhh.
Dude.
Wow, Jesus Fucking Christ!
Thirty four.
Thirty four?
The entrance exam. I scored
thirty-four.
Well done. You like to work on
carburetors for fun, too?
That's supposed to be funny,
right?! Because I don't even
know what a carburetor is! No
matter how hard I try,
my mother would never trust me
to do anything on my own.
All those people who work for
her, she treats them like
property. She treats me the
same way.
Where's Veronica?
I begged my mother to let
Rainwater keep his house.
I told her I could graduate
without this fucking library.
Tricia! Where's Veronica?!
She just looked at me with
contempt.
You know what?
You and your mom sound like the
exact same person to me.
I have to leave, Matt.
No problem, I got it.
Hey! Could you um.
No!
No.
The paint bucket!
Oh Uh, No!
Tricia, these two are starting
to crack.
No one knows dick.
We're out of here in 6 months.
What's the problem?
Look! I got into Harvard by
myself. I don't need your
parents' donation to Crestview.
Or my parents' donation.
Or my parents for that matter.
Wow. And I thought
you were smart.
But really you're
just opinionated.
Thank you, Veronica.
You know I was thinking
Veronica. Office. Now!
Girls! Letters are here!
Whooo! Whooo! Letter!!!!
Tricia! Come on!!
Goodie! "Letters!"
Because nothing is more fun
than spelling shit. Seriously.
Guys! We say nothing.
We graduate. Go to college.
And move on with our kick ass
fucking lives. Got it?!
Letters! Everybody!
The Letters!!!
You're "A" Darcy. "P" is for
you. There you go. And "E!"
Claire is Captain, Tricia!
So she is always in the center.
So she is always the big "C."
Everyone knows you're an "H."
I get my trust fund
after college.
I don't need this coming back
to bite me on the ass.
What do you want us to do?
Turn Tricia in?
I say we let Governor Wilkes do
what she does best:
Take money. Throw it at a
problem. Make it go away.
Or perhaps not. I heard her
mother kicked Tricia out.
And doesn't want her coming back
home even after the election.
Well, there you go. Even
"Attila the Hen" is sick
of Tricia's bullshit.
We've got our "get out of jail
free card." Let's use it!
Fucking man up, Craig. It's not
like the cunt is going to
get the God damn electric chair.
And with her gone, I can keep
you company this summer.
Look, I'm not going to take you
guys down with me.
Go get Headmaster Nash. I'll
tell him everything,
and I'll clear your names.
It's my fucking mess.
So I'll let my mother
deal with it.
Go! Before I change my mind.
Tricia! Drop those backpacks!
It never stops with that kid.
Hey!
My office!
So, was it stress? Or maybe
you were possessed
by a dead Indian? Or maybe
maybe I'm lying? Is that it,
Tricia? Am I lying?!
Why? You have a disc
of that too?
Yes! I did. I fucking
dropped it.
It doesn't even matter.
Who would believe you?
Who would believe one word you
say? This is my school.
Everybody knows me.
And everybody loves me.
They would be on my
side because they
wouldn't know what
to do without me.
It's called influence. It's
called power. You don't have
enough of either for anyone
to believe you're right.
I don't need to be right.
I just don't need to know you.
Ahhh!
You piece of shit!
Don't talk to me like that!
You're undercrust!
Nobody talks to me like that!
Easy, Tricia!
Don't tell me what to do!
Nobody tells me what to do!
I'm not doing that. You can do
anything you want.
You're God damn right, I can.
ut Tricia if you kill him, it's
"Good bye, out-of-state college
condo" and "Hello, mommy's
guest house."
I mean, c'mon the scandal?
Your mom. Even if you
were acquitted, she'd never
let you out of her sight again.
Which means no escape
from her and her
Draconian parenting, right?
That's it. Easy, Tricia.
You just won Apache Princess.
One final "Fuck you!"
from Craig to Tricia.
Looks like visiting hours
are over.
For an Indian, he didn't put up
much of a fight.
Owww! God-dammit!
Careful, we don't want to leave
behind any physical evidence.
God! Get that camera off of me!
Craig, if that video ends up
on the Internet,
my mother's going to
be more than disappointed.
Tricia! That scarf is cashmere!
Guys. Guys. We've got to get
out of here right now.
Okay? The cops will be
here any minute!
We're screwed!
C.C. Signing off from the
14th floor!
Wow. And I thought
Go ahead and do it. My mother's
going to cut your heart out.
Considering this could sink her
whole battleship
she might even put me on
the payroll!
You know what?
I should put one through that
tiny little heart of yours.
Yes! Yes, you should.
But she's not worth it.
Your leadership mantras
really suck!
Look. I think I know
how to get rid of this
Native American wraith.
Veronica. There are no ghosts.
No. He's real. He didn't care
about the money.
He just wouldn't sell.
Look. I never held a
seance before.
I mean not one that actually
worked.
Okay, please. I know you think
this is all crap.
But if this helps her from
freaking out, or acting like
oh God, like I give a shit. But
I think this will help me.
What do you say?
This isn't going to work with
three people.
It, uh should. I usually contact
my parents alone.
Somebody else has to be the
medium this time.
You brought the spirit in. You're
the one who must escort it out.
I can't.
I'm the one who
Tricia.
You have to do this.
Fine.
Join hands.
And remember
Don't break the fucking circle.
I got it!
Jacob Rainwater,
are you here with us?
Jacob.
Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Jacob? It's time for you
to leave.
Veronica?!
Veronica?
If you make it out of here alive
tell Tricia to go fuck herself.
We need to get out of here.
Tell me it's you. There is no
ghost. It's just you.
Tricia. I didn't kill anybody.
I don't want to hurt you.
I just want to get out of here.
Tricia.
Tricia! hahahaha.
Tricia.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Come on! It's fucking
cold in here!
Ugghhh. Gross!
Hello, Mr. Clark.
Hmm. Wasn't he a Muslim?
Well, Tarek may not have had
his father's drive to succeed,
but he sure had his spunk.
I wasn't expecting to see him
pop out of that vent.
Last night Max almost found the
ghost setting up in here.
Pshh, like I'm nervous the
'tard might catch me.
Go make sure the 'tard isn't
lurking about,
ready to come lumbering in.
Ugghhh.
Hey, she's into older men.
Man she really bought all these
ghosts and demons shit, huh?
All Clear!
May I have Craig's gun back?
No.
Giving students behavior and
personality tests, finding out
what they will and won't respond
to is part of my job.
Learning how to trigger
emotional outbursts is the perk.
You, Mr. Clark, were of course,
a complete disappointment.
Ah ah ah ah ah.
Boobs? Judas Priest?
Although, I'm not sure Craig's
actually worked.
I think he really hated
Tricia. Or loved her.
There were supposed to be
five! I believe the
office sent your uncle a letter,
Mr. Clark. School policy.
I thought if Tricia saw this,
she'd finish you off.
But she kind of choked.
So I had to get creative.
But, why?
Synopsis: A group of seemingly
normal, well adjusted,
well-to-do teenagers are killed
inside a cursed library
built on land that,
coincidently, all their parents
have insidious vocational ties
to.
Instant best seller. I mean,
the book, the movie,
the TV series... we'll make a
mint! I know.
The irony is crazy huge, right?
I mean, c'mon.
Are you really bummed that
they're all dead? Really?
Really?!?!?
This school, sucks.
I'm sorry Matt. But it just
makes sense. Somebody has
to be the psycho. And it's
perfect. You're new.
You're a felon. And
you know you're poor.
So, it's an easy sell.
I mean c'mon. You beat up
retarded kids.
He's not
Wait wait wait what did you do
to get thrown into Ju-Vee?
Go fuck yourself!
You're sexy. But money and fame
are a little sexier.
You think Paris or Lindsay
ever served detention?
What a bitch! She was supposed
to pretend to poison me.
I'm running around vomiting all
over the sidewalk,
switching lights and carnival sounds
off and on like a circus chimp.
Hiding from Max.
Chasing Tarek about.
It's really cold out there!
Some insurance against
spiteful parents who may not
approve of my new book.
Ahhh... There. Now we're good.
Oh, nice work, Max.
I guess the 'tard can do
something right.
Oh! I almost forgot!
This is the Police department.
There! Now we're good.
Craig's gun still has one more
bullet left in it. Coincidence?
Or supernatural? You decide.
Please don't think ill of me.
I know the money, the fame,
will never cover the damage
these kids have done to others.
You see, I believe that a
certain amount of reparations
are overdue.
Long overdue.
These kids had to pay back what
they've been taking all these years!
I expelled that miscreant days
ago. Why was he still here?
That's some bad kid.
In all my time as a teacher,
never have I seen a greater
blight on organized education
than Mr. Clark.
Like a massive gravity
sinkhole,
he deforms every positive
thought he encounters.
before sucking it into a
vortex from hell.
Well. Don't blame yourself,
Mister Nash.
Why would I?!?!?
Excuse me sir. I need you to
step away from the evidence.
Sorry, Officer.
What do yo got there?
What does that say?
Does that say Remington?
Uhhh, Rainwater.
Jacob Rainwater. He was an
artist. A sculptor.
Before this library was built,
this land was his home.
Until a man with an army
came and took it all away!
Mr. Rainwater, we're going to
need you to stay here
for a while right here. We're
probably going
to have some more
questions for you.
Yes, sir.
No! No!
And so there's nothing
more to discuss.