Bagdad Cafe (1987) Movie Script

Disneyland...
Palm Springs...
150 miles...
150 miles to Las Vegas!
Jasmin, come here. Immediately!
You are so mean!
Hey lady, do you need a ride?
Do you feel OK?
Fill it up... mister?
Have you?
I search my wife.
A big-big woman...
from Germany.
Sal!
Mister, I...
Sal! Where the hell
have you been so long?
Warm beer.
No beer.
No beer?
No license.
Coffee.
- No coffee.
- No coffee?
The machine's on the blink.
Very good... coffee!
You want...?
Sal! You settin' up the
new coffee machine?
You...
You...
Well...
How much?
It's on the house.
No charge!
No?
Good!
Good service!
Good. Thank you.
Good bye
Hey! What's going on?
Well, where's the
coffee machine?
Honey, you won't
believe this, but um...
I forgot it again.
Mind if I ask you a question?
What is that on your shoulders?
Come on, Brenda...
What is a cafe that don't serve
no coffee, you mind telling me that?
Hey, Sal...
Did you pick up my rifle?
You must be joking, Mr. Cox!
He's got a mind like a sieve!
Sometimes I wonder how
he remembers to come home.
Well, there's no
hurry, no hurry.
Ah... How about a cup of coffee?
You hear that, Sal? Mr. Cox
would like a cup of coffee.
You see Mr. Cox, normally
we'd be glad to oblige...
but at the moment we
have this little problem...
because the boss here forgot to
pick up the new coffee machine,
which was the reason he
went into town in the first place.
Poof! It just slipped his mind!
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it!
I just don't believe it.
Now, just what is that?
You mean that?
Sal, you putting me
on? Because if you are...
You call this coffee?
Cahuenga...
a cup of water, please.
Junior, stop a minute!
What the hell was that poison?
Salomo!
But there's no one here, mom.
I am,
and your music's driving me
crazy, sounds like a sewing machine.
Sal, what is that thing?
I found it.
Found it? Found it where?
On the highway.
By the...
old picnic area.
And you just took it? You crazy?
It didn't belong to nobody.
Oh, what makes you so sure? It sure
as hell don't belong to nobody here!
Aw, Sal... Sal...
Sal, you're such a child!
Only problem is,
I got two children!
I don't need three!
Clean that shit up!
That's more like it.
Sal, you take that back
where you found it, now!
It certainly is
practical, Brenda.
- Isn't it?
- Sure is.
It is practical, honey.
Don't you honey me!
And let me get
one thing straight.
What we need is a coffee
machine, not some toy!
Where are you going?
You got the thermos?
Go get it!
Get it!
- All this fuss about nothing!
- That's just it!
- What?
- Nothing!
That's all you do around here!
I work myself to the bone,
and what do you do? Nothing!
If you'd just stop
being so damn bossy...
Somebody's gotta
run things around here!
I runs the gas station.
Two trucks a day, and I gotta
pick up all the empty oil cans.
Nobody's forcing you.
God damn good-for-nothin'!
You better take that
thing where you found it!
Sal! You do like I say!
If you don't cut
this shit out...
I'm leaving!
The sooner the better!
You on the rag?
Or what?
Go on! Get the hell out of here!
What are you waiting
for? Go on, beat it!
What you waitin'
for? Move it! Go.
Hi, mom.
Mom?
That's Zack. He's totally rad!
Mom.
Ma.
I have, like, this
little problem.
See...
We want to go to
this concert, but, like...
Ma...
you got a little bread?
Oh no you don't!
Thanks, mom.
- Take it easy, Brenda...
- You go to hell!
And don't come back neither!
Good riddance, you know.
I ain't gonna cry over you!
Is anything wrong, Brenda?
The motel office?
What can I do for you?
A room.
Here?
Yes!
Are you sure?
Sure.
You sure you don't want
me to call you a cab?
No
OK, I...
Fill this out.
Salomo!
A single or a double room?
Single.
Did your car break down?
No car.
No car.
Sure.
That'll be 25 dollars.
Cash or charge?
How do you wanna pay?
How do you want to
pay, cash or charge?
Where's the boss?
I'm the boss.
Traveler checks?
OK...
here's your change...
and your key.
One night, right?
I don't know.
Where is it?
Miss Jasmin!
You gotta carry your
suitcase yourself.
We ain't no Grand Hotel.
My name is Mrs. Munchgstettner.
OK, Mrs. Mu... nsh... tetter.
The center... is it far?
What center? The
shopping center?
- The center of Bagdad.
- This is Bagdad.
This is all?
This is it.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Hello, stranger.
I like your hat.
Really!
Two cokes, senor
Cahuenga! Plenty of ice!
Coffee, please.
No coffee, ma'am.
Coffee machine's broken.
May I, miss?
Just a second...
No, no! It's good so.
Whatever you say.
Thank you.
Why don't you talk much?
Where you from?
Well, next time I come...
...you can put
anything you want on it.
How's that sound to you?
That good?
Hey, Brenda, look
at my latest edition.
- Dynamite, huh?
- Fantastic.
Debby's a real little
witch with that needle.
See you next time,
you little devil you!
- Hello, Mrs...
- What...
That's mi...
Oh, shit! That thing is still
here. That son of a bitch.
Here...
You like it?
It's yours.
Put this baby in the pot.
He be ready for dinner.
Sal! Sal Junior! Wake up!
Damn! Do I have to
do everything myself?
Planning on stayin' for a while?
Allow me to introduce myself.
Rudi Cox.
How do you do.
Frau Munchgstettner.
I'm from Hollywood
You know...
Tinseltown.
The movies...
What the hell?
Jesus, I hate things
that don't make sense!
- Good morning, Miss Brenda.
- Morning, Cahuenga.
Phyllis!
Phyllis!
Wake up, damn it! The school
bus'll be here any minute!
Phyllis!
Roll your lazy ass out
of that bed this instant!
But, mom, I don't
have school today.
Stop!
Not so much water.
I don't care.
Now, you make up room
#7, and I don't mean maybe.
But Pete's taking
me desert sailing!
Salomo!
Now, take care of your son!
Where's pop?
What is this shit?
Is she trying to put me on?
Oh, my God.
Oh, I knew she was weird...
Can I talk with
the sheriff, please?
Thanks.
Hello?
Arnie, it's Brenda.
Look, there's this woman checked
in last night from Rosenheim...
I don't know where it is either.
Somewhere over there in Europe.
Look, she's got some
weird things in her room.
I can't make
head or tail of 'em.
It's hard to say.
Look, I think you'd better come
over and check 'em out yourself.
The sooner the better!
I don't know how
dangerous she is.
OK.
Oh! And another thing...
Are you still there?
Could you do me a favor?
Our coffee machine...
could you bring it with
you when you come?
OK, that'll be great.
I'll see you later.
OK, lady. We're
gonna check you out!
Dangerous?
Hi, Brenda. I got it.
Thanks, Arnie. I
really appreciate it.
Cahuenga!
[??]
- Hi, sheriff.
- Well, good morning.
To what do we owe the honor?
Well, Brenda has
a little problem here.
- Debby?
- No, no.
Come on Arnie, I'll show you.
Mr. Cox, your breakfast is ready.
Hello, ma'am.
Ma'am...
Excuse me, ma'am. I'm
the sheriff in these parts.
It's just routine.
A routine check.
You understand, our being
so close to Las Vegas and all.
What if I can I see some
identification, please?
You see 'em? See 'em?
Go on, ask her!
Oh, Germany.
Yeah, I have a brother who
was in Germany in the service.
Munchgstettner...
You traveling by yourself?
You got an airplane ticket?
- Is it a round ticket?
- Yes.
Good. Do you mind
if I have a look at it?
What are you waiting for?
Thank you.
Well, everything seems to be OK.
You plan on stayin' long?
Someone plan on joining you?
Sorry for the
inconvenience, ma'am.
You have a nice stay now.
Good bye.
Don't tell me that was it,
Arnie! You gotta be kidding!
Is that what I had you come
up here for? I don't believe it.
I mean, she shows up out of
nowhere, without a car, without a man
She ain't got nothing but a
suitcase filled with men's clothing.
How come?
How come she acts so funny?
Like she was gonna stay here forever.
And with no clothes.
No! I don't like it! It don't
make any sense at all!
No-no-no, no!
- It don't make no sense!
- What?
Arnie, forget
it. Just forget it.
Brenda, what are
you so excited about?
I've seen her passport and her
airline ticket and they're both OK.
She's a tourist. What
she wears is her business.
That's right, Brenda,
it's her business.
But not yours, Mr. Cox!
Maybe she's a
fashion designer, or...
or a saleswoman for European
country western clothes.
And I'm Dolly Parton!
Brenda, you know as well as I do,
that as she doesn't break the law...
she can dress like
Baby Doll or King Kong.
It's a free country!
It's a free country.
Keep out of this!
Keep out of this.
- Does she pay you?
- Yeah, traveler's checks.
Come on, Brenda,
what more do you want?
Oh, Arnie!
Where's Sal, anyway?
- Thank you for the coffee machine, Arnie.
- Don't mention it.
Wind her up, Debby,
baby, here I am!
- Bye, mom.
- Where's the baby?
He's sleeping.
Hello...
You shouldn't have...
I want to pay.
You mean you're staying?
Yes.
Oh no...
Oh, brother...
Brenda.
We're out of coffee, sugar...
Milk.
Mr. Sal used to do the
shopping, but he's gone.
Bread...
Eggs...
Eggs.
Miss Brenda's husband?
Yes, ma'am.
Ground beef...
[Speaks German]
What?
Ground
beef.
Chili beans...
Bacon...
Bacon.
Pickles...
Pickles.
- Where is he?
- Who?
Brenda's husband.
They had a fight.
Did he leave her?
Uh-huh.
Oil...
Oil.
Tomatoes...
Peanuts...
Salad...
Thanks, ma'am.
Here's the list, Miss Brenda.
Who wrote this?
Miss Jasmin.
I'm going to town.
Phyllis!
Phyllis!
Phyllis!
Phyllis!
Hey! Now you stay here!
Get her out of that thing!
[??]
But I gotta go shopping.
You better stop this truck!
Phyllis, now you stay
here. I gotta go shopping.
Phyllis, come back, damn it!
Somebody got to man the pump.
Shit, shit, shit!
You all can kiss my
ass. I'm going to town.
See if I care!
See how you get
along without me!
Hello, ma'am...
Where the hell
did you come from?
Off that truck.
So?
Mind if I pitch my tent here?
I don't give a damn what you do.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Something's wrong.
I can feel it.
Cahuenga!
Who was it?
Miss Brenda.
My office! Who was it?
I...
I...
I-I... thought
you would like it.
It would make you happy,
that it would be
nicer to work in...
Like it?
Ah, now, something must
be wrong with my ears!
Is that Mr. Cox's rifle?
Did they fix the
hair-trigger yet?
Imagine a hotel guest is
gonna try and make me happy...
Of all the god damn nerve.
I don't believe this.
I don't believe this! Come here.
This used to be
my office, right?
My office!
Look at it!
How's this supposed
to be an office?
Huh?
You call this an office?
It's empty!
How is anybody supposed to work in
here? You mind telling me that, Mrs?
Mrs. Munchgstettner.
Come here, Mrs.
Whatever-your-name-is! Come here.
Who give you permission, anyway?
Who said it was
any of your business?
What business was it of yours?
And where is everything,
that's what I'd like to know?
What'd you do with everything?
In the garbage?
Oh, that's fantastic!
That's just fantastic!
Now, you listen to me.
You bring it back in here...
everything! And you put it
all right back, just like it was.
Every last thing!
Just like it was!
Do you hear me!
Oh, Brenda...
Brenda.
Just like it was!
Oh, cut it out.
Hey, Brenda.
Pick up my rifle?
I sure did, Mr. Cox.
Thanks.
Hi, mom.
That trucker was a real
cute dude for a trucker.
I mean, he let me up in his
cowl, an I ran into Reggie...
and we buzzed around in his
cruisemobile over the Devil's Playground.
Then we ran into these
really grotty air heads.
What happened here?
Pick up your shit, sweetie.
Huh?
Pick up your shit!
This is an office for customers!
Try a cup, Mr. Cox?
Perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
Coffee?
Just made it.
Be careful, Miss
Brenda, don't-don't do...
Here.
- How much do I own you?
- Nothing, they couldn't fix it.
- Baby Junior been feed yet?
- Yes, Miss Brenda.
Cut it!
Salomo!
You heard!
We have a customer.
Just because of that fat bitch.
Now you behave yourself.
She's a paying customer!
What about them?
They're kind of family.
[German]
That's not coffee,
that's brown water!
Cut that out and
do your homework.
Do your homework!
- Mom, I only got two left.
- You heard me!
Phyllis,
move your butt!
What are you doing here?
I was just cleaning up.
And...
about yesterday...
I didn't me to...
I'm sorry I stuck my
tongue out at you.
That's OK.
You are?
- Phyllis.
- Phyllis.
I'm
Jasmin.
Huh?
Jasmin.
As-min.
Yas-min.
Yas-min
Do you like it?
For sure!
I would lend it...
to a friend?
Oh, we can be
friends. That's easy.
OK, Phyllis.
OK, Jasmin.
Your things are
really different.
Want to take a look?
- Would I ever!
- Please...
Can I try this on?
Sure.
But it's big.
Except for this, they're
all men's clothes, right?
Yes.
- How come?
- Maybe I tell you some time.
Hmm.
- What are these?
- Bavarian Lederhosen.
Lederhosen.
Lederhosen.
Fuckin' rad.
There's place for two!
What's the matter?
They is a light inside.
- Cute, huh?
- Uh-huh.
I like them too.
Come on.
And these things?
[German]
I show you.
Ahh. Click!
I saw them on TV once.
These dudes
slapping their feet and
beating the shit out of
each other had 'em on.
Bavarian folk dancing.
Watschnplattler.
- Are you renovating, Brenda?
- You like it?
Don't stop.
Keep playing!
- Salomo! Didn't I tell you not to...?
- She's the only person..
Who really understands my music.
Oh, yeah?
And you son doesn't either?
I thought so!
Your son?
Really?
My son. Right.
His son.
Where from?
Bavaria.
Germany.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Put your thumb here.
That's how you wanna hold it..
Hold it real strong,
about like this.
OK, good. Now turn around.
Find the wind...
Can you feel the
wind on your face?
Jasmin! Come here!
This is Eric. This is
my girlfriend, Jasmin.
Miss Jasmin...
My name is Mrs. Munchgstettner.
I'd like to paint you.
I have to paint you!
But, you are an actor, I think.
An actor?
I never said I was an actor.
But Hollywood? The movies?
Oh...
I painted sets.
Um... In your room...
What?!
You want to paint me in my room?
In your room,
there's a painting...
The light in the sky.
Yes.
I painted that.
Would you like to see
my other paintings?
I've had it!
And I ain't takein'
no more. No way!
Now, who the hell you
think you are lady, huh?
Just what is it your game?!
You got something against me?
You tryin' to drive
me crazy, or what?!
Well, ain't nobody is
gonna do that to me!
No way!
Now, get out, get
out! Go on. Move!
And you, Mrs. Munschter,
you pack up your bag of tricks
and you get out of here! Pronto!
Or I'll shoot your fat
ass with buckshot!
Go play with your own kids!
I do not have any.
Oh, Brenda...
Brenda, baby!
Look...
I didn't mean it that way.
I don't know what got into me.
All the work around here,
and the kids, and everything...
and my husband
left me a week ago...
Good evening, Miss Jasmin.
Good evening, Miss Brenda.
How about some crackers?
- Crackers?
- Crackers.
Magic!
- You too?
- You bet!
Volia!
Magic!
My vision
I like that word.
What word?
Vision.
How does it come there
in the sky?
Rays of sun reflected by the
thousands of mirrors in our
solar energy center cause it.
Breaker, breaker, 10-19,
you got the Sultan of
Soul looking for the
Snake Eyes. Come on back.
Go ahead. You got
Snake Eyes, Sultan of Soul.
Hey, you ever been to
Brenda's place? Come on.
Hey, they got a show there that'll put Las
Vegas to shame if you ask me! Come on.
Well, where is it?
Bagdad.
Hey, how about I meet you
there for a cup of coffee? Come on.
That sounds good
to me. Let's go!
Just in case!
Magic!
[Chatter on the CB radio
about Brenda's magic cafe]
Cahuenga, Ketchup please!
I like your tie!
It's really rad.
Hey, that's mine!
My comb!
Hey, I think you're
even sexier topless.
- Hey, baby.
- Oh, hey, Arnie..
- How you doin'?
- Fine.
- Hi lady, nice to see you.
- Hello, sheriff.
Well, I thought you'd be
in good old Europe by now.
You ah... you working here?
She's just helping out, Arnie.
Then she needs a
green card, you know that.
She's not working.
And your tourist visa's expired.
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to report it.
Goodbye, Miss Brenda.
Bye, Miss Jasmin.
Are you closed or what?
Hey, where are the ladies?!
What happened to the magic?
The magic...
is gone.
No. Right, right, right.
All way over to
the left. Go ahead.
Further, further, further.
And up!
That's too high. Down, down.
OK.
Right there.
Bagdad Gas and Oil, hello!
Hello?
Hello!
Hello.
This is Brenda.
Where are you calling from?
Rosenheim.
- Brenda.
- Jasmin.
Jasmin!
Jasmin.
[??]
It's nice to see
you again, Mrs...
Milnchgstettner.
Hello, Mr. Cox.
Will you be staying
longer this time?
I hope so, Mr. Cox.
Hey, ma'am! Come here quick!
Ma'am!
Nice to see you, Debby.
- What's the matter?
- What's going on?
How come all your
stuff is out here?
- What's going on here?
- Are you unhappy?
Leaving now? You know
you're just like family.
Baby, I was just
about to ask her...
Now, why would you wanna leave?
Too much harmony!
Magic, magic, magic...
Oh, Brenda...
Jasmin?
It's me, Rudi Cox.
Good morning, Rudi.
Morning.
May I come in?
As a painter or as a gentleman?
As a man.
Then you must wait
until I put something on.
Thank you.
Please, sit down.
How are you?
Fine.
- How are you?
- Fine.
I wanted to ask you if
you plan on staying longer.
Yes.
It could be...
what I mean...
certain problems
could arise again.
Yes.
You know what I
mean. Green card, visa...
Yes.
There...
is a way to take care
of those problems.
Yes...
If somebody were to
marry an American citizen...
for example.
Yes...
For example...
if I asked you...
if I asked you...
to marry me...
Yes.
and if you said yes...
you could stay here forever.
Yes.
Will you marry me, Jasmin?
I talk it over with Brenda.