Band Baaja Baarat (2010) Movie Script

Bands Horns and Revelry.
Ideas...
Plans...
Schemes...
There are loads and
loads of dreams...
And we have hatched
brilliant schemes.
Colourful dreams...
quirky schemes.
There are loads and
loads of dreams...
And we have hatched
brilliant schemes.
Colourful dreams...
quirky schemes.
Ideas...
Plans...
Schemes...
The plans are rooted deep,
Though the path is steep.
You will realize the dream,
because you've got the scheme.
There are loads and
loads of dreams...
And we have hatched
brilliant schemes.
Ideas...
Plans...
Schemes.
We will tackle the future tomorrow
We won't budge come joy or sorrow.
And if our
ambitions were to turn cold
We'll warm them with
rising sun, lo and behold.
Tension is nothing more
than a wrinkle on the forehead
It's the earnest smiles, that
resolve everything in the head.
Try it out, just try it
out... exploit the schemes
There are loads and
loads of dreams...
And we have hatched
brilliant schemes.
Colourful dreams...
quirky schemes.
There are loads and
loads of dreams...
And we have hatched
brilliant schemes.
Ideas...
Plans...
Schemes.
What's this?
It's daal... move on.
Food first...
- What do you think this is?
Horse shit! We pay
1200 per month...
Should I call the warden?
Call him... and ask him to
bring us his biryani along.
Screaming at him won't get us
the biryani... give me your phone.
Use yours...
M\y outgoing has just been
barred by the phone company...
So Thape? What does it look like?
OK, biryani for
dinner has been fixed!
Ten rupees everyone... entry fee.
Oh, so it's our cash
and your party, Bittoo.
Bittoo, you've started already?
We will eat as much as we can.
So Thapa?
Out in 10 minutes...
Even the smell will not
be felt in 10 minutes.
It's a dance party, not a
wedding night with very few guests.
You'll get caught easily...
and I will lose my job.
It's just a job. Easy come easy go.
Please Bittoo, just hurry up.
M\inki and Binny.
Bittoo Boss.
Hey sunny, pan here dude.
Why are you posing
looking dull? Spice it up, man.
How are you doing buddy?
Looking like a rock star.
The plates are really small.
Excuse me... which
side are you from?
Why should I tell you?
One minute... please step aside.
Why should I?
Keep the plate here...
call M\r. Kochar.
Quickly. Aunty, please come
forward and serve yourself.
Please step aside, you
are blocking the way.
Who are you to put me aside?
Anu aunty's assistant... she
has organised this entire night...
and it's my duty to see
that no riff-raff eat here.
I am no riff-raff!
Who knows... we'll
find out right now.
Yes... tell me what happened.
Here is the bride's uncle.
Uncle, should I let him eat?
Is he from the groom's
side or the bride's?
From neither side.
I knew it! You are a riff-raff.
Who are you calling riff-raff?
Sunny! Come here.
Come here.
Tell them who I am.
We are both with the video team.
Really? I've not seen you around.
We work very quietly...
to not disturb the gentry.
It's all planning, uncle.
We thought we'd get dinner out of
the way before the dancing started.
We won't eat if you don't like.
In every wedding we are
treated with respect...
and offered food and she
is calling me riff-raff.
It's my duty.
If we run short of food...
because riff-raff like
you have eaten it...
Uncle will question me, right?
Spit the anger out, and eat well.
Later you shoot well. OK?
Yes, yes of course.
Sunny, you get the best shots.
Give them a plate and what
about the dancing? Get it started.
Sure! About to start.
Is there a leg piece?
Cheapster!
OK everyone, come to the centre
please, let the dancing begin.
There won't be just songs
on this musical night...
there will be dancing and competing.
So will the bride's
team win or the groom's?
This will be decided once
their relatives join the dance.
Uncle, please start the dance,
you surely look like
you could break a leg!
Please come everyone.
I went shopping and bought a key
Will groom's aunty
twist like Shakira with me?
I went shopping and
bought pizzas for me,
Will bride's Uncle
dance the disco with me?
The party rocks to the brim.
When uncle-aunty dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
When uncle-aunty dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
I went shopping
and I bought jewelry.
He chews betel...
the brother-in-law to be!
I went shopping and
bought a lock and key
Look how she squirms,
the sister-in-law to be
The party rocks to the brim.
When brother-sister dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
When brother-sister dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
I went shopping and...
make no haste...
Hurry up DJ, turn the
table and blast the base.
The party rocks when...
we do the hip hop...
The party rocks when...
DJ makes you dance
The party rocks to the brim.
I went shopping and bought a mango
Bride's mother perks up...
Starts to do the tango.
Bride's mother...
I went shopping
and bought some Paddy
He jumps at two for tango...
Here's groom's daddy...
The party rocks to the brim.
When mummy-daddy dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
When mummy-daddy dance within.
The party rocks to the brim.
I went shopping and bought a Jacuzzi
Hold the groove, and
do the boogie-woogie
The party rocks to the brim.
When everyone does the
boogie-woogie within.
The party rocks to the brim.
When everyone does the
boogie-woogie within.
Hello, M\rs. Aggarwal...
good afternoon I say.
I am Binny's uncle.
Just wanted to thank you
for last night's function.
It went well because you
worked hard and your assistant...
what was her name again?
Shruti... oh, yes.
Is it just Shruti or...?
Oh Kakkar.
No, it's just that
some of our relatives...
were enquiring about her last night.
Look at the irony, while she is busy
in arranging the weddings of others...
there are proposals coming for her.
Really?
Is there someone?
No... No it's correct.
Education is crucial,
she should complete her...
graduation before getting married.
Besides, there is hardly any time
left for her to finish her education.
Which college is she in by the way?
Go, go, go... found her
classmates. Shruti Kakkar has left.
She got onto the U-special bus just a
minute ago to go home... go, go, go.
Where does she stay?
- Janak Puri.
Janak Puri?
She must be an aunty-like!
Your aunty, not mine.
If you had been so
dedicated towards...
your education you could
have topped your college.
M\ikka, speed up...
quit the lecture.
Look there... the bus...
hurry up, what are you doing?
You will get us stuck, move out.
It's a traffic signal.
You expect me to fly?
The cop is standing right there.
Bittoo... have you lost it?
Hello...
you remember?
M\e?
Riff-raff.
What do you want?
Nothing... just... for you...
it's a DVD of the dancing night.
Only your dance is on it.
Are you hitting on me?
Don't even try it...
I don't have time for
love and rubbish like that.
Even I don't have
time to flirt and all!
I am here just for the DVD
and for some friendship.
Ok. Cool...
I edited it with my own hands.
I suggest you send it to Indian
Idol... you will win for sure...
and then the Bollywood
heroines will be out.
Indian Idol, my foot.
I am going to start my own business.
Once the exams end... it begins.
What business?
What sort of business is that?
Weddings require so many things.
Tents, decorations, musical bands,
catering, etc, etc...
Who arranges all of that?
Wedding planners.
I want to be the best wedding
planner in Delhi... no... in India.
Good.
Good? It's the best business.
If a Bollywood heroine's
films flop, she is out...
but be it recession or inflation,
people will always get married.
Thousands and millions of rupees
will always be spent on weddings...
and who will be required
for the entire planning?
A wedding planner.
Yes! I have planned everything.
Come I'll show you...
This is my company's
name: Shaadi M\ubarak.
Very good...
Isn't it?
I already have 3 years of
part-time work experience...
with Anu Aunty.
Whatever salary I get, I
give half to the home.
M\y father works for the government.
The rest is my own savings.
To start my new company.
There are various themes
in the market these days...
like the fairy tale theme...
prince-princess theme, Barbie
theme, magic theme, circus theme...
So is the groom a
joker or a ring-master?
Get lost... you waste your
time loafing about and...
when someone else plans something,
you laugh at them.
Can't even pronounce
business properly.
It's my dance...
Well I don't expect
you to thank me...
buy me a bread pakora at least.
I have a lot of studying right
now... let's meet after the exams.
OK, bye.
What a waste of time!
Exams over! Shaadi M\ubarak!
You are back again?
I've travelled all
the way from Ambala
with the best proposal for you...
and you are showing attitude!
I said Shruti will be
livid when she arrives...
but your father said...
let's see the proposal now
that aunty has come so far.
M\y child, you've been working
with Anu Aunty for three years...
it's time to relax and get married.
After that you can start
your wedding business.
After the marriage the
in-laws will be after me...
for grandchildren...
and the husband's mouth
will be locked forever.
Within a year there will be a
child, and then soon the next one...
and then I just sit at home...
being a mother all my life.
I will get married to
whoever you like...
but after Shaadi M\ubarak is set up.
Look, I am 20 years old now.
Give me time, five years, and
when I am 25 marry me off...
with or without Shaadi M\ubarak.
Had tea?
Now get lost.
Please ask M\anoj if he
can wait for five years.
If not then best of luck.
No dude! Don't go.
OK, don't be sad. Keep the shirt.
Come on, I am not so evil.
I am sad because you are leaving,
not for these clothes.
What will you do with an M\BA?
Whether you pass or fail...
you will still have to
return to your father's farm...
and chop sugarcanes with him.
But I have to make my own life.
You want to do an M\BA?
- Yes.
Then do it...
don't lecture me.
Where is your suitcase?
Hello, uncle.
Hello, son.
What suitcase?
Didn't your mother tell you that...
we are in town to take the
delivery of the new tractor...
and will take you
with us on the way back?
Should I remember the
exam answers or M\om's talk?
Sonu! Pack his bags.
M\e?
He will do it... come with me
I'll show you... come outside.
Come.
Look at that.
Is it not the best colour?
We will all go back
home on this lean machine.
I can't come.
Why? Have you set up a shop?
Yes...
No...
not a shop... a business.
Business?
What do you sell?
We don't sell...
we organise weddings.
Wedding planning.
Barbers organise weddings.
In small towns like Saharanpur...
in Delhi it's a big business.
Be it recession or inflation
people will still get married.
People invest millions in weddings.
100 percent profit...
Oh silly...
Our boys don't do girls' jobs.
Now that your curiosity
about college is over...
come home and manage the farm,
like everyone else.
I'll kill myself but I
won't chop sugar canes.
No one can die jumping
off the first floor...
you're good at nothing,
neither suicide nor business.
And listen...
once the sugarcane catches blight,
it's cut off and thrown away.
You are a cane with blight.
You are no good to me now.
When you run out of
money then catch a bus home.
This is the fare...
don't spend it.
Come on, Sonu.
You...
So M\r. Blighted Cane...
what're you going to do now?
Dude, while bullshitting to dad,
I hit upon a brilliant idea.
I am gonna make a
partnership with miss Janak Puri.
You want to be a wedding planner?
I thought you were just
deflecting your father.
Why? What's the problem?
The turn over is in thousands,
recession or inflation.
Shruti Kakkar will kill you.
Only if I hit on her.
I am not interested in her
and nor is she in me...
a partnership is
all I am asking for.
Shaadi M\ubarak is her idea...
why will she make you her partner?
Why won't she?
You think she won't?
Laugh freely,
or don't laugh at all,
what sort of a laugh is that?
Did you smell the perfume?
It's horrible...
they bathe in it...
if you sit next to them you
can't enjoy the smell of the bread.
But your business idea...
it's great...
Shaadi M\ubarak.
When are you starting?
It's started.
I have to reach Chanda
Narang's office in an hour.
Her son's wedding?
Oh no...
Chanda Narang is the superstar, like
Sharukh Khan, of wedding planning.
I'll train with her for
some time and then...
my own company.
Well...
I too have a
brilliant business plan.
It's a bit complicated though.
First this and then that...
so I was wondering, till
mine comes in line...
why don't I join your
Shaadi M\ubarak as a partner?
I don't want any
partnership complications.
Such a big business...
turnover of thousands...
how will you run it by yourself?
I have handled so
many weddings on my own.
I don't have any
business idea, dude.
I know.
If I don't find a job
or business here...
then my dad will take me back
to the village to chop canes.
Please save me from the sugarcane.
Please make me your partner.
No.
You just bring all
the brilliant ideas...
and leave the running around to me.
I spent all night making
the DVD. You are my friend.
Today you say friend,
tomorrow you will say I love you.
I don't want any
emotional complication.
I just want to start
my business that's all.
Thumb rule of business - love and
business do not go hand in hand.
I am best on my own.
What are you talking about?
I promise I will never
go beyond friendship.
What's the guarantee?
Fine!
I swear on this bread.
No...
bye!
OK, if not a partner, a secretary,
assistant, peon - make me anything.
At least listen to me.
M\oonstruck.
Chanda M\aam's company.
One day even Shruti
Kakkar's Shaadi M\ubarak tempos...
will arrive in
these posh farm houses.
Shruti Kakkar and Bittoo Sharma...
I told you, no partnership,
now stop following me.
But you already have
trained under Anu Aunty...
Anu Aunty does low
budget weddings...
small community hall types, with
grooms arriving in small cars.
Chanda Narang does
massive farm weddings...
where the grooms arrive in choppers.
An investment of a few
million is no big deal.
A wedding planner's commission
is at least 15 million Rupees.
15 million Rupees!
Of course... these
are the weddings...
that superstar
Shahrukh Khan dances at...
and Chanda M\aam organises them.
I'll learn a lot and be high
class if I work with Chanda M\aam.
Chanda M\aam!
Ya, tell me...
You wait here...
M\e too...
M\aam, I am a huge fan of yours.
M\aam, you are too good...
you are my inspiration.
Please let me assist you.
Please just have a look at my file.
M\aam, I've...
M\aam, I am a fan. Let go. I can
do any sort of work. Please, M\aam.
Yes Diwakar...
Who? Yes, tell me...
Get off. Don't show off
in your stupid uniform.
I can work better than you.
Please leave.
When will they
discharge him? Oh dear...
Why do they enter this profession
if they have to get jaundice!
Now who will do his duty?
I'm leaving.
What's the problem?
You can't stay here.
No. I will work only
with her. Not alone.
But I have place only for
one person...
and a girl can't handle it.
She?
Girl?
Only from the outside...
there are ten
bouncers hidden inside her!
Look, I can pay a
salary for one person only.
So then Bittoo comes
free at the price of Shruti.
Are you two...
boyfriend-girlfriend?
Not at all... just
partners... guaranteed!
Thank you, M\aamji... thank you...
Each chandelier was
supposed to have four circles...
why have you put only one, M\aqsood?
How long have you been working here?
Only five days old, and you
have been around for years...
but don't think you can fool me.
If you don't make four circles
I'll complain to Chanda M\aam.
Go ahead!
Your Chanda M\aam would have
charged the client for 50 circles...
but I have been paid only for one.
You've to put three
over there at the back...
Chanda M\aam?
Flower shower from above.
The wedding planner promised red
roses for my niece's wedding...
but eventually there
was a marigold shower.
You relax... you like red
roses... you get red roses.
M\aam, the catering
guys are asking for you.
Chill!
Who will get the work done,
if I keep giving them demos?
Thanks, buddy you saved me...
Why starve... have biskut!
What sort of people
are you dealing with...
they expect roast chicken
at the price of dried grass?
Even her abuses sound sweet,
like FM\ radio.
Oye Radio? Do you know what a
big cheat your M\adam really is?
She delivers only half
of what she charges for.
That's why she drives a BM\W.
She is so clever.
It's not clever, it's cheating.
Not cheating, it's business sense.
It will never happen in my company.
OK, we won't cheat.
Bittoo!
- Yes, M\aam!
Boss or employee...
he doesn't spare anyone.
Are you trying to cheat me?
Where are the lilies?
Sir?
There is no
arrangement of any flowers...
Due to the drivers' strike,
the delivered stock is less.
The arrangement my wife
approved had lilies...
all we have are carnations...
M\aam... that...
- What that?!
There were no lilies.
Why? Why were there no lilies?
M\aam...
enough is enough.
We are out of this.
No one can stay after this insult.
Come on, Shruti!
Yes, I know, big-shot army man,
doesn't mean you can
abuse in English...
you know very well
whose fault it is...
don't stretch it so much that we
are forced to expose. - Expose what?
Bittoo, this will get us a bad
reputation. Think of the future.
It is the future...
your Shaadi M\ubarak.
Come on partner.
Will get the uniform sent.
Keep the cap. Dupe someone else.
See you around in the market.
Nice name... Shaadi M\ubarak.
But in our families
traditionally uncles...
and aunties get together
and organise the wedding.
What will we do with
a wedding planner?
See I told you so...
thank you, uncle.
How much money do you
intend spending on the wedding?
200 thousand. 0r 250
thousand Rupees maximum.
You spend 250 thousand only...
and leave the arrangements to us.
Where's the venue?
Venue? Same one as where the rest
of the colony gets married from!
Here it is... our
first wedding site.
Let's inspect the site.
Why are we dealing
with these small-timers?
They don't even have cars.
Their groom will
arrive on a scooter!
Let's directly
attack the farm houses.
Let's become prince of
smaller budget weddings...
and then become King and
Queen of the farmhouses.
There is lesser risk here.
Things are bound to go wrong
in the first few weddings!
It's our area, we can smile,
apologise and get away with it.
What can be done for 250 thousand?
That's the challenge. 250 thousand.
Let's see how much your brain works.
Really! Now you watch out.
All this is possible in our lane?
Anything's possible
with Shaadi M\ubarak.
Bands Horns and Revelry
Bands Horns and Revelry
I say, I say
I will plan weddings...
I will make the altars...
I will do the dances.
Bands Horns and Revelry...
Bands Horns and Revelry...
Which one?
Quick, quick, hurry up. The
lights have to be tested...
Have you stolen the
connection from the pole?
So? Should I pull
it from your house?
Cut the line now... cut it!
Why?
I told you... no
cheating in Shaadi M\ubarak!
A generator and
diesel will cost 15,000.
Doesn't matter, but no cheating. Just
cut it or else I'll call your office.
Bands Horns and Revelry
The beautician's cost is included in
the budget. Don't worry. Is this OK?
Send the van back after off-loading.
Bring the stuff here...
and keep it carefully.
Don't trample the flowers,
they should look fresh.
Did you call him?
Yes... why?
Shaadi M\ubarak's first
wedding without M\aqsood's flowers?
M\aqsood, we are on a small budget.
But you are a big person
in the brigadier's wedding the
fault was all Chanda's and mine...
but you took the blame...
don't worry about the budget,
tell me who is doing the catering.
I've spoken to Bansal.
Remember one thing... what do
guests enjoy most in a wedding?
Food!
Lighting and decoration
will be all forgotten...
Bansal will serve
rubbish and charge double.
Rajinder is our man...
he has a small
restaurant in Trilokpuri...
and makes the best food.
He has been trying to get
into catering for years...
Here, talk to him.
Oh no... no first-timer.
What if he screws up?
You are doing it for
the first time as well.
Hello, M\r Rajinder!
Why are you dealing
with these planners?
I would have
arranged for better food.
What are you saying?
It's great food.
The arrangements are brilliant,
how much have these
Shaadi M\ubarak people charged?
Depends on your budget.
We have paid 250 thousand.
That's it? 500 thousand was
spent on M\onty's wedding...
and yet the food was stale.
Don't worry, it's a gift.
Something is missing.
You've converted this
lane into the Taj M\ahal...
now you want to
bring a helicopter down?
DJ!
Bhutani uncle has not
accounted for a DJ in the budget.
So what if it's not in the budget?
Pass me the phone...
Will we pay for it?
I'm calling Santy...
Your college band will perform here?
Just watch out...
- Shruti...
Papa, M\ummy! How does it all look?
Very good.
Look, our daughter
has done it after all.
Not me alone... this is
Bittoo... a partner in the company.
Hello, aunty.
- Hello... what's your name?
M\ummy... we have lots of work to do,
you carry on and take a look inside.
I was only asking his name...
Bittoo Sharma... with a double O.
Raju? Is the generator on?
- Yes, Bittoo...
So turn the lights on then!
Santy... where is your team now?
Hurry up and grab a
cab... there's a gig.
Colourful dreams...
quirky schemes.
It's free publicity, dude...
your first live show.
Put the video on Youtube...
all of you will be stars,
and will get free food too!
First time...
Your dark and cunning eyes...
are not too shy...
they look sly, very hi-fi.
M\aking my heart skip a beat...
I wonder why?
Your dark and cunning eyes...
are not too shy...
They look sly, very hi-fi.
M\aking my heart skip a beat...
I wonder why?
Just like a biscuit dipped in tea.
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
Step away, stay away you loser...
and stop following me.
I know your sort.
You will see...
my shoe on your head it will be!
A Romeo without Juliet...
a lock without a key.
That's how your life
has turned out to be.
And this is how
you've lost out to me.
That's how your life,
has turned out to be.
And this is how
you've lost out to me.
I flexed my muscles,
and I gelled my hair.
And yet you walked past me...
with your nose held
up high in the air.
You can't impress...
with your muscles
and gelled hair...
because it's your cunning heart...
that needs repair.
Just like the honey attracts a bee.
That's how your life
has turned out to be.
And this is how
you've lost out to me.
That's how my life,
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
Below my window, why do you wait?
Playing tricks that are down-market.
Whistling dirty songs...
why do you irritate?
Cut your attitude,
and agree with me.
You want a blank cheque,
or the life within me?
Soften your heart,
and you will see...
I am cool and confident.
Just look at me!
You've knocked me down,
like a bumble bee.
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
That's how your life
has turned out to be.
And this is how
you've lost out to me.
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
Hey...
This shop was trashed! Yes I've called
for them... I'll call you back.
How many mirrors are inside?
All done? Two more?
What the hell are you guys doing?
Who will pick this up?
The furniture is second hand,
but paid for nonetheless.
I know it's not new.
It has to be kept here.
No... I'll sit here.
Shut up... why
don't you want that area?
Forget the Qutub M\inar.
Come up and help me.
Do it yourself.
Your shop downstairs...
my house upstairs.
Am I your secretary?
To do all your work?
I'm putting your box on top of
this... lie down and watch TV
Let's push your bed towards the
corner... open the window...
Home sweet home!
Lt'll be great fun!
Ideas...
Plans...
Come on, let's have tea.
Oh, you are here?
How are you today?
Ideas...
Plans...
Schemes.
Whose side are these people from?
They look like
riff-raff from my hostel.
Let them be... how much
can they possibly eat?
Five extra plates, that's 1,500
rupees. Who will pay for them?
Take it from my share.
I suggest you set up a
soup-kitchen for all the riff-raff.
The groom's party will leave in 3 hours
so I am staying back at the office.
Please tell dad. See
you the day after.
What are you doing,
Bittoo? You will drop me.
I am not in the office, and I have
left the calendar in the office.
Tell the priest August
won't be possible...
Iook for an
auspicious date in November.
Hello Shaadi M\ubarak.
- Hello Shaadi M\ubarak.
How can we cancel
someone else's booking for you?
No, dude... not possible at all.
M\y calendar is full...
Schemes.
Ideas, Plans, Schemes.
Which package would you like?
Platinum, Gold or Silver?
No, that's in the Platinum package.
The henna ceremony is not
included in the Gold package.
Obviously, it's just the
wedding in the Silver one.
Yes there is a Bronze as well...
for funerals! You'd like one?
Hello... you've
completely vanished, M\r. Dhawan...
if there was a margin I
would never have asked you.
If there is no advance then
the wedding will not be...
What are you doing?
Having lunch.
What if the buffalo
doesn't pay the advance?
So, will starving
make him pay any faster?
Return my phone...
You haven't had a
biscuit since this morning.
Even if it's 10 minutes later
you can still convince the buffalo.
You'll turn me into a glutton.
OK listen, we've
planned 26 weddings so far.
What's the plan for the future?
Another three years...
and then marriage...
two children. M\y agreed deadline with
my parents is till I turn 25...
till then they can look
for a good groom for me...
their choice would be the best.
M\rs. Kakkar, I'm not
talking about that future.
The company's future! Our future!
We are Kings and
Queens of local weddings...
when will we hit the farmhouses?
Not now. We need to
increase our scale for that...
step by step... pass me the sauce.
Will you have an arranged one?
What else? I don't want any
silly 'love-complications'.
Don't worry,
I don't think you will ever
have that kind of complication.
Nobody will want to go
blind by looking at you.
Oh yeah?
So who was up all
night making a DVD?
And you hashed the
entire romance...
I was left wondering if this
was a girl or a warrior princess.
Dude, if it weren't for
the warrior princess...
you'd not be
devouring these noodles.
You'd be chopping sugar
canes on your dad's farm.
Oh yeah! Had it not been for me...
your Shaadi M\ubarak
would've never taken off...
and you'd still be running
around in circles after Chanda.
Started the business? M\y foot!
I started it.
Did I not?
Say I did...
Stop bragging...
and return my phone, I need to
get money out of the buffalo.
These thieves will always fleece us.
It's time for a high
jump to the farms!
Farms again?
How will we get there?
How will we get the contacts?
Just say yes!
Yes! I've said it. Now?
What is she saying?
Can't hear a word.
Why worry? We know
what she's hammering on about!
Drop the English!
Bittoo... let's go.
Five minutes. Be back.
Pankaj, Sir... Sonya, M\aam...
Hello... Shaadi M\ubarak.
No... and yes. No in person.
Yes on Facebook.
Wedding... You two...
Planning. Us two!
Your number is on here?
Why waste a call...
we can walk and talk.
You are going to the car,
right? We will drop you off.
Which theme has she roped you into?
Classic, Royal or M\aharaja?
It's been seen and
done a hundred times.
You will have a plain
assembly line wedding. So sad.
She doesn't have the
time to experiment.
There are three other
weddings in the same week as yours.
We are doing one
wedding at one time.
One hundred percent total dedication
to one client for six months.
Start to finish. No compromise,
mother-promise.
Pankaj, sir, you're handling
your father's business right now...
but in your heart you're still
the same student's union president
who organised the most vibrant
college festivals for 3 years,
and you met sir during the
college festival, right?
You're the lead vocalist
of your college band...
and you won an award for that too.
But now you are getting married in
dull, lifeless Chanda Narang style.
OK, so you've
researched us thoroughly.
I'm impressed, but I don't
know anything about you guys.
Why should we give you the contract?
Sir... because your wedding
is not just a deal for us!
We put in our lives to make your
wedding the happiest day of your life.
Your car is here...
if you believed what we
said then please do call us.
We'll be waiting.
OK bye.
Let's go, Shruti.
What're you doing?
There was nothing left to say...
they were getting bored...
And if they don't call?
We can't go back now...
it'd be tacky.
Shruti Kakkar...
Bittoo Sharma...
Are you free on Sunday?
Come in please.
Ideas are promising.
Groom's entry is the best!
So prior to this you have only
worked on low budget weddings...
say up to 1 million rupees, right?
Yes, up to 1.75 million rupees.
Both of them wear black suits and
attend board meetings all day long...
but when it comes to their
wedding they want a kitsch one...
you two are kitsch... and
your style is so vibrant.
It will need an
investment of a few million...
but then our
reputation will be on the line,
and taking such a risk
with first timers...
I am not sure.
Sir...
a person builds his
own reputation...
and ruins it himself too.
Regarding frist-timers...
44 years ago,
a young man wanted
to make a tyre...
a cycle tyre...
the man approached his
father for the investment,
and his father put the
money in his son's hand.
He didn't say, son
you are a first-timer...
...you won't be able to
handle the tyre business.
Today that young man is
seated in front of us.
The tyre king himself,
and I'm sure he will give us a
chance, just like his father did.
Hence Sainik farms have been...
Conquered!
Ready means Ready!
I don't want any delays...
and re-check the tensile
structure multi-lights.
Come now. All the aunties out,
please... no ogling at girls.
Come out.
Take it easy, there's no hurry...
just keep a check.
Has the electrician arrived?
Please check the shrimp starters.
They have to be fresh. What
happened? Tell us, we'll do it.
The groom has arrived, go out.
Don't stress, just go.
That's why I always say
'check the list' I made.
The Groom's party has arrived,
bring on the booze.
I'll get the bar opened uncle,
and you will get the first drink.
Obviously I will.
Ok good, show me.
You look great. Didn't I
say this would look good?
Isn't your daughter looking pretty?
Where are you stuck?
Teaching your own boss his business!
If you don't arrive in half hour,
your head will be in your hands.
Oh my... you've not left as yet...
the groom's party is already here.
Let's go, Sonya, get
ready in 5 minutes...
I am warning you, Pankaj
won't wait beyond that.
Hurry up and check on them, or
else no one will get ready...
in five minutes. Get
her ready quickly.
Bittoo come in please.
Go, Shruti
- Bedi is ready?
Completely ready.
- The priest's equipment?
All set.
- OK.
You've opened the foreign champagne?
What do you mean yes?
I told you... you
guys... ruined it.
Always serve with a smile,
so that even a person who's
not hungry feels like eating.
They've been doing this
job for about 7 years...
they know their job by now...
you hurry up and
attend to the guests.
Even then, I need
to say it just once.
I'll take over this side.
The garlanding
ceremony is about to begin...
this is a revolving stage...
co-ordinate with Kirti...
the stage rotates and
your song crossfades.
Bittoo, it's about to begin.
The relatives have been given rose
petals and loads of confetti, right?
Loads and loads.
- The flower-shower must not stop.
Yes, yes... full throttle...
high power... you don't worry.
So you are Shaadi
M\ubarak... good job.
Contact us for any wedding.
- Sure.
Anytime. Enjoy.
Isn't she looking great?
- Very nice.
I made her select that outfit.
- She is looking hot.
Shruti maam, Bittoo sir.
Ya go...
The motor is not working,
the stage is not rotating.
What?
We are coming.
It won't grip.
- What's going on?
It's not gripping it.
- Leave it.
Bittoo I told you to check it.
I checked it at four.
It's about to start, Bittoo.
Do something.
I am doing something.
Look, try it now.
It's not working. Do it...
Bittoo.
Shruti.
We did it, buddy.
This is just the beginning.
We have to plan
much bigger weddings.
This big is good enough for me.
Bigger than this!
So? Shaadi M\ubarak.
When money leaves your pocket,
it's always a problem.
Take this... full and
final for the musical night,
cocktails and the wedding.
Thank you, sir.
Well done, Shaadi M\ubarak!
Keep it up! - Thank you so much,
sir... thank you.
How much of this will be mine?
After all the payments, we have 6
million Rupees left of the 20 million.
Three yours and three mine.
No, 11/2 and 11/2
and the left over...
3 million goes to our
business development.
Come on, it should be
two and two at least.
No, 11/2.
This seems less. Ten
million has eight zeros.
No, silly, seven!
Which one should I play? Which one?
Ya? This one?
OK, guys... I'm off.
No, no, no, no.
- Nobody moves.
This man speaks the truth!
- Children, my bones are crumbling.
I've lost 200 grams already.
That's obvious. I hope you
guys work hard like this...
God give you prosperity and us too.
Oh, so they do all the hard work...
and you enjoy the incentives,
just like that...
Should we go now?
- Ok see you later... let's go.
OK... then good night.
OK.
Bye... bye... bye...
Play that one... ya.
No, let me rest.
Let me rest.
Bittoo...
Can you please drop me home?
Yes, of course...
Tea?
- Should I make it?
Would you like some, dear?
Dear?
Don't bother...
you won't know where
the jars are kept.
Please go and get changed, dear.
Dear?
Shall we leave?
Let's go.
Oh, you're here?
How was the
farmhouse wedding last night?
Everything went well?
Superb. Top class...
Oh Shaadi M\ubarak's work
is always 'top class'.
I'll miss my bus, let's
chat in the evening. OK? Bye.
Bye...
Breakfast?
Uncle...
I'll drop uncle...
come on, uncle,
I'll drop you fast...
you can sit sideways uncle...
OK, go, go.
So M\r. Celebrity!
Refuse to recognise me?
Dude, M\ikka...
no mails, no SM\S...
where have you been?
It's been a month
since I shifted to Delhi,
but you're such a big star...
changed your mail ID,
number... everything.
Shut up!
- Look.
No way!
I have a friend in The Times and got
your number through him finally...
page three, not bad!
Bittoo Sharma, Shruti Kakkar!
I'll tell Shruti. She
wouldn't have read it.
I guess she'll read it
when she comes to the office.
What's the problem?
Why you so roughed-up?
No, I am not.
In bold letters it says...
That means she would've seen it too.
Who?
What's up? Singing songs today?
What nonsense?
Didn't I ever sing before?
Before, Shruti always
addressed me casually...
but since this morning she
has started calling me 'dear'.
You know she made tea
for me in the morning.
Terrible tea!
But first time, made it herself!
Now you see why I am so screwed up?
What do you think of this, Bittoo?
He is the way he is!
Why? Has he sprouted wings suddenly?
Yes, he has sprouted wings!
Our small town boy
has become a big man.
I think you have sprouted wings!
This is the first time
you have praised Bittoo!
I am totally screwed, man!
Screwed? What do you mean?
You chased her for so long...
and now that you guys have
finally hitched up, you are crying!
She is not the 'hitched' type,
she is the emotional type.
She thinks whatever has
happened between us is love.
Now you can't love the
person you're doing business with!
What?!
It's a business rule,
you won't get it, dude.
Had it been someone else I would
have finished it in a second...
but Shruti's feelings will be hurt.
I can't hurt her.
She gave me work...
made a man out of me...
Right... you are quite screwed.
Yes!
She is my friend, dude!
He is just a friend M\a!
So can't one marry a friend?
Where did marriage come from?
You're the one
building flyovers of Bittoo.
I thought you changed your mind.
I was just saying that
all men are not alike.
Now let's take Bittoo,
for example...
he makes tea, does kitchen work,
I think he will even allow his
wife to work after marriage.
How do I look?
Oh ho, ruined my hair.
Doesn't matter.
Leave it now.
I feel a new sensation,
I feel you next to me.
The colours of
yesterday are changing,
into brighter shades of tomorrow.
We are half way on the path of love.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
We are half way there.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
We are half way there.
I don't know if it's
patience or a test...
It feels extreme...
it feels the best.
The lively yesterdays are a past...
the tranquil
tomorrows are now at last.
We are half way on the path of love.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
We are half way on the path of love.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
Who has done this?
Headless chicken you are!
What if it hurt someone?
Don't know what you're up to!
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
We will walk the rest of the mile,
in the footsteps of time.
So, M\r Bittoo...
Hey!
Dude! You are up and about so early!
Why are you looking so screwed up?
Nothing, you spoke so casually.
So...
Should I address you as Sir. Bittoo
No, casual is best.
Why are you being so strange?
Not at all.
Of course you are...
Now let's take the tea,
for example...
I made tea at home
yesterday evening...
and after one sip mummy
and papa said the truth,
that Shruti can't make
tea to save her life...
but from that day on?
- Which day?
You know which day.
I've been making bad tea
and you've been drinking it.
Are you afraid that you
might hurt my feelings...
if you said the tea was bad?
Since when did you become so caring?
Whatever happened between us...
just happened.
Don't worry, I am not
like your other ones...
who stick to you like glue,
and you are always
running away from them.
I have no problems with
whatever happened between us.
No problem?
No.
Just be the same Bittoo you were.
Why are you so serious?
Dude, you freaked the
living daylights out of me,
the way you behaved
after our session.
Session?
Dude, I thought Shruti
had fallen in love with me.
But you are not the foolish
types who stick like glue!
I'm not foolish...
Right!
Everyone makes mistakes...
M\istake...
delete the mistake and move on...
should I make tea for
you... with ginger?
Yes.
You were right all along, love and
business do not go hand in hand.
I am always right...
Now watch out,
we'll fly high.
Enough of this matchbox-sized room,
decrepit old bike!
M\ercedes! That's
what it's going to be!
Just imagine if love were to
come between business partners...
everything would've been lost.
Forget the M\ercedes, we
wouldn't even have the cheapest car.
So then...
you happy, me happy.
Hello... Shaadi M\ubarak...
you've called earlier?
There was some problem on the line,
but it's all sorted now.
Yes I'll be there soon.
Dude, I'm running to the
printer to check Kalra's card...
you come directly for the
meeting with Asma and Zafar.
Ok. Bye.
We are half way on the path of love.
Stupid...
Idiot, fool...
you were following
your rule book, right?
Then why this emotional slip-up?
If you slip again, you'll be dead!
Now don't cry,
not a tear.
Hello, Shaadi M\ubarak!
Yes, M\s. Asma...
Yes, of course we are meeting...
Yes, 12 o'clock sharp.
Asma and Zafar are great people...
great choice of
location for a meeting.
Bit of fun, a bit of meeting.
Great atmosphere... right?
I can do the meeting myself,
why don't you just
enjoy the atmosphere?
Really?
Can I go?
Excuse me... Shaadi M\ubarak?
Asma and Zafar?
- Yes, hi...
Bittoo.
Shaadi M\ubarak... Shaadi M\ubarak.
It's a good idea,
but what if we
didn't have lavender...
We have lavender...
and we will use lavender...
why are you rejecting my
design just like that?
Too sober...
people come to Shaadi
M\ubarak for kitsch, not sober.
Lower class losers
used to come for kitsch,
this is a high class party.
I'm myself lower class loser...
and I understand only kitsch.
You are high class
from London and America,
keep your upper and
lower class to yourself.
There are only 5 days to go.
Do what Shaadi
M\ubarak is famous for.
Don't force your personal taste...
Should I put soya
sauce in your noodles?
I'll eat at home.
Couldn't you say so when
I was placing the order?
Did you ask me?
I was screaming my
lungs off standing here.
Two M\anchurian one veg one chicken
...two chowmein one veg one chicken.
Should I worry about my
work or your nonsense?
I have no time for bickering.
I have mailed Rajinder the menu.
Give this design to M\aqsood.
I'll arrive at the site
directly tomorrow morning.
It would be best if
you arrived on time.
Listen... Shruti, wait.
Have you lost it? Get rid of
him... I'll drop you off.
Leave me.
If I don't want to
go with you, I won't.
You create a scene
out of everything!
Go to hell...
Let's go.
OK, please read the Nikah...
commence in the name of Allah.
Keep the music on.
Please begin.
Zafar Khan
What's wrong? It
was fine up till now.
Something wrong on that
side... No? Yes? Any sound?
Where is your mind these days?
Don't talk rubbish if you
can't solve the problem!
Sound is your department.
Please commence.
Zafar Khan... Asma Siddiqui...
Santy, I've told you
thousand times, do all the checks.
You all slack and I have
to bear the embarrassment.
Yes I do.
Congratulations.
Santy. Shaadi M\ubarak!
Come on, guys!
Bittoo...
I'll die but I won't dance with you.
Just do it for the
client's happiness.
Your dark and cunning eyes,
are not too shy,
They look sly, very hi-fi
M\aking my heart skip
a beat, I wonder why?
Your dark and cunning eyes,
are not too shy,
They look sly, very hi-fi
M\aking my heart skip
a beat, I wonder why?
Just like a biscuit dipped in tea,
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
That's how my life
has turned out to be.
This is how I have lost out to me.
Have you brought the console?
- Counted the tables?
Checked the mixer?
Listen... all of that...
Should I drop you home?
Don't come from tomorrow.
Don't come where?
It's you who comes there.
I live there.
Pack your stuff and vacate the room
before I get there in the morning.
What nonsense?
Bittoo, the partnership is finished.
What?
If we work together then my Shaadi
M\ubarak will become a disaster...
M\y Shaadi M\ubarak?
Since when has it been yours alone?
Don't shout.
Shaadi M\ubarak was my idea.
M\y effort.
You'll be paid for it.
Try and break the partnership,
I'll take you to court.
It's not a divorce that
needs to go to court...
we'll divide the
stuff... that's final.
Why are you
ruining a great business?
Think calmly.
What did you say?
Session?
Oh, so this is what it is!
So why should I
leave Shaadi M\ubarak?
Was it me alone?
You said 'let me rest'.
I thought, she must be tired,
let her rest. What did I know?
Go back to your village,
to your father...
you just want to earn
money... do another business.
Your father will readily pay
for his baby's business and...
if still nothing happens
then chop sugar canes,
but never come back
to Shaadi M\ubarak!
Oh, I see... I am a baby...
I'll run home with my
tail between my legs...
that's what you think of me.
I'll obviously think of you.
What you really are.
Everything is clear today.
It took three years.
So I can't do
anything on my own, right?
At least I've never seen it.
I'll start my own Shaadi M\ubarak
...100 times better than yours.
Let's go. He is crazy!
To hell with your partnership.
To hell with you.
What's the programme?
What's going on here?
Don't ask.
Hope there hasn't been a break up?
Oh... who will plan my wedding now?
Where are they? Both of them.
This is your 20. I've
given Shruti madam hers.
You will buy a car now?
Can I take this helmet?
Here.
You thief.
You can't take anything that
belongs to Shaadi M\ubarak.
Here I am not taking it.
You dog... son of a gun...
Where did you come into
my life from and ruin it?
Good morning, madam.
- What's it?
M\y wedding... we
spoke... the discount...
I called on the phone. Come
back in the morning tomorrow.
OK I'll come back tomorrow.
Leave this rubbish... come with me.
I'll get you the best deal.
- How much?
He'll fleece you. Will
you have tea or coffee?
Coffee?
- We serve cold drinks...
forget cold drinks, we
will guzzle beer together.
Will you serve cold drink...
- I taught him everything.
Don't fall into her trap.
He will strip you to the core.
Strip me?
Forget getting people married,
start getting them divorced.
You play with people's emotions!
I wanted to get married...
to hell with you...
Villager! Buy a ticket
to your father's house...
and practice cutting sugarcane.
I'll turn this Delhi into a village...
beware you bloody Kakkar...
Get out from here... son of a gun.
There are going to be some smooth
business operations from my place!
M\assive weddings of
important men's daughters.
Every Delhi girl's wedding
will be planned from here.
By next year I'll even
reach a bigger mall.
What're you going to
name your company?
Original Shaadi M\ubarak.
No, dude.
Dude, Kakkar's is fake.
M\ine's original.
No...
Shaadi M\ubarak Part 2?
No...
Return of Shaadi M\ubarak.
No...
Shaadi M\ubarak season 2!
You've lost it?
Try Happy Wedding.
Full English.
OK. Done. Happy Wedding it is!
Hello Shaadi M\ubarak...
I mean Happy Wedding.
Aren't there two
partners in Shaadi M\ubarak?
He was my assistant, not a partner.
I got rid of him.
He was a leech.
Happy Wedding?
Weren't you called Sha...?
Shh, don't use that
name... it's cursed.
Your child's
marriage will be ruined.
I threw him out so he started his
own company to suck the clients dry.
I hope you have not
approached any Happy Wedding...
don't even think about it.
It's that leech's company.
Everyone thinks we
worked together...
but the reality is
that I did all the work.
M\y ideas, my execution
and who gets the credit?
No, no, don't take the
name... it's cursed.
Your child's
marriage will be ruined.
Shruti, your contract is on
the 21st and so is his...
what do we do now?
Don't worry... let's
celebrate my first contract.
I'll give you 500 thousand
rupees 400 thousand yours...
200 thousand Santy's.
All payments have been doubled.
Now take my booking.
550, 450, 250...
600, 500, 300...
650... 550...
One minute...
no fighting in my office...
or else I'll give you one each!
Listen carefully...
we have decided that if you two work
separately, we won't work with you.
Correct... he's right.
And if you work together, then...
Forget about that...
last offer... 650 thousand.
I'll pay in advance... everything.
Are you leaving or...?
Ya, ya, going...
There is no dearth of
vendors in the market.
This issue is escalating.
What do you say, M\aqsood?
Both are impossible.
Just leave it here.
Hey... that pole is
not meant for the centre.
So tell me where
it's supposed to go...
Look at the design.
- Just tell me where it goes...
If I sit on your head and monitor
you all the time, who will do my work?
OK, I'm extremely sorry... you
tell me where it's supposed to go.
Didn't I give you the design?
Work according to that.
And don't mess with me.
Come on...
Will it be any speedier?
Lt'll reach up by tomorrow.
Sir, please check
the flower decoration.
Tell Shruti madam to check it.
Tell who?
Who else will you tell?
M\e, obviously...
You are lost along
the way, my friend.
Why have you turned a stranger,
my friend?
Something is amiss...
my heart feels an empty abyss.
You've led the
sunshine away my friend.
Why have you turned a stranger,
my friend?
Sir this half payment won't
do... there is a contract...
give the full payment or
else I'll slap a case on you.
Call us if you need a lawyer.
M\e and my son, whose wedding
you have spoiled, are lawyers.
Good night.
There is pain in the
thousand strings in my heart.
The silk threads we
tied are all torn apart.
It's the price of the separation.
Just the memories and tribulations.
The state my heart is in, my friend.
No worries, child...
we'll get another car...
bigger than this one.
Why have you turned a stranger,
my friend?
Credit is for a month,
not for 6 months.
Hello, hello. If you all surround
me like this how can I get out?
And get to the bank?
And take my check book,
and withdraw the money...
and give it you? Give
me some space please.
Yes, yes, of course, give him
some space to get to the bank.
M\y friend, you took my peace away.
I only have this much.
Give me some time,
I'll return the rest.
How will you return it, madam?
Until you pay your debts no one
in the market will work with you,
how will you get new contracts?
I've not run away...
just trust me.
Ok fine...
three months and no more...
Thank you.
Let's go. God knows how many
more rounds we'll have to make.
Hello...
Who do you want?
Who Sidhwani? Which office?
I don't owe any Sidhwani any money.
M\r. Sidhwani, the owner
of the Sidhwani group.
We own 10 heritage hotels
and resorts in Rajasthan.
The biggest in Bikaner.
M\r. Sidhwani's daughter
is getting married...
and he wants Shaadi
M\ubarak to plan the wedding.
Can you come into our
office for a meeting?
Good afternoon, sir...
- So Shaadi M\ubarak...
Yes sir.
- Sir, M\yself... Happy Wedding.
I don't want Happy Wedding.
Just the original Shaadi M\ubarak.
To cut a long story short,
my daughter Preeti,
whose wedding it is, insists
that you plan her wedding.
I was calling the best wedding
planners from Italy, France...
and the UK but Preeti
saw your work at...
Pankaj and Sonya's
wedding and decided that...
her wedding would be
planned by Bittoo and Shruti.
I can handle it alone.
I don't need him.
Alone!
I have a file...
from the day you
started working alone...
there have been electrical failures,
security issues, shortages of food.
There can be no failures
at my daughter's wedding.
Sir, there won't be
any in my planning.
Bittoo Sharma...
your Happy Wedding planning
disaster list is even longer.
Should I read it?
No thank you, sir...
OK, so it's better for me
if you don't work together.
I can call on the best
professionals in the world.
If you want the contract then
work together as Shaadi M\ubarak...
or else...
Sir...
- No.
Sir I'll give you a
forty percent discount.
Thank you, M\r. Bittoo Sharma...
Sir Fifty.
Fifty... percent.
Sir, this way please...
Both of you have gone crazy.
I'll die but I won't work with her.
You will die anyway.
I've been able to hold off your
lenders for three months only...
not your entire life!
After 90 days your bones
will be lying in the gutter.
Now tell me if you want to
finish your war with Shruti...
or die in the gutter?
Idiot.
Look... you started
your company from this lane.
Now you're stuck in a
well and he is in a ridge.
Let go of the past, shake
hands and move on from this fight.
Has he brainwashed you?
No, no, this was my idea.
Anyway, he can't think
of anything on his own...
OK...
But just for one wedding...
come to the office
tomorrow at 8 o'clock.
Why your office? M\y office.
Bittoo!
Which company does
Sidhwani want for the wedding?
Shaadi M\ubarak...
so work will happen from the
Shaadi M\ubarak office, right?
M\aqsood, please...
Idiot.
On time! For a good
first impression? Or...
What first impression
can there be on you!
I've only been able to arrange
second hand furniture so far...
It's OK... it's only a
matter of three months...
hardly like I'm here permanently.
And I have a plan for working
together for three months...
without murdering each other.
What new plan now?
I've cleared up the
area on top for you.
You can set up there...
and I'll work down here.
Let's divide the departments too...
so you don't poke your nose
in mine and I won't in yours.
Done... catering and lighting mine.
M\usic, choreography, decoration...
Security... Design...
Not design... I'll do the design
...you'll make some kitsch one.
Your work is going ahead...
He's right here sir.
Let's go. Site inspection!
M\y father got married here...
and then I did.
Now both of them will
get married here too.
Henna, ladies' night,
wedding and, send off...
Only the honeymoon is not from here.
All the guests will stay here...
Seven-day-long party.
The party will be in
true Shaadi M\ubarak style.
I hope you spoke to him
about superstar Shahrukh's dance.
Yes I did.
We can...
- Of course... we will.
Even Shahrukh's performance?
Yes, even Shahrukh's performance!
Join by Friday... do read this...
It's out of town. I
hope it's not a problem.
No, maam...
Next!
Have you worked in
wedding planning before?
So M\r Bengal,
forgotten me in six months...
I'm Bittoo from Shaadi M\ubarak.
What have you done?
Where have you worked?
Take the order... Two chowmein,
one veg, one chicken.
Have you done any event management?
Two M\anchurian, one veg,
one chicken. Fried rice?
No?
- OK, add one fried rice...
Next.
Bands Horns and Revelry.
Bands Horns and Revelry.
I say, I say,
I will plan weddings,
I will make the altars,
I will do the dances.
Bands Horns and Revelry.
Tea?
Shruti!
Yes.
Ya...
I was just on my way out.
Shruti!
- One minute?
Santy will call you...
tell him about the music...
you're getting calls all
the time, no one calls me!
Yes, M\aqsood...
- Yes...
Yes, the design is good.
I'll arrive safely. Don't worry.
I've called for a cab.
OK, bye.
Shruti...
Got a call again?
Shruti!
Hey, wait... don't need a cab.
Come on...
Where?
Home!
You pretend to be all classy...
but look at your car...
it's so kitschy.
Not kitschy... stylish!
I should have run away
from the shop like you did...
I don't know when I'll
have my own car now.
Am I not intelligent?
Not intelligent... thief!
Changed the name plate...
very nice.
OK, bye.
So Bittoo, what's the status?
Yes... family no 53,
54 have left...
55, 56's flight has been delayed...
Is that so?
And uncle-aunty no 78 have
tagged two friends along.
In the list it's only
old man and old woman...
where do I fix the friends?
Should I bury them at the airport?
Let it be. If their
ghost catches you,
you will become more unbearable.
So should I get
them a return ticket?
Send them... I'll
figure out something.
Thirty-seven arriving! Bye!
- Bye.
Bands, Horns and Revelry
Have you sold 204 and 208 somewhere?
They were clicking
pictures everywhere.
Camel photo... cow photo...
Donkey, owl, crow,
pigeon, photo, photo, photo.
Why are you stressed out?
Haven't you stuffed your face yet?
I've just eaten six, seven
sandwiches, there was no time.
Glutton of the topmost order.
One minute... hello, how are you?
Come, come... OK, just do it...
yes, yes, they will
come... hey, Shruti.
Ok,
no,
just one second. - Guests are
arriving... go and have a look!
Cover for me for a bit?
Your department... you handle it.
I'm a bit busy...
will call you in a bit.
Is this dish Ok?
It's good.
It's great, now just let it be.
You've been at it for so long.
Go inside and help out.
Don't waste time. Take this plate.
So this is your canopy... not bad.
It will look cooler
once my lighting comes in.
Let it be... my canopy
will glow even in the dark.
You need to get off the
phone to complete the canopy.
Yes, sir... Shruti Kakkar...
Who was it?
Shahrukh's got a fracture.
What?
No way!
It's the leg.
But I've already told the guests.
Preeti, did you hear?
Daddy, everything is spoiled...
my entire wedding is spoiled.
Please excuse my interference,
but what
would Shahrukh have done
had he come? M\arried you?
Vowed to love you till eternity?
He's not going to
take any such vows.
M\r. Vikram will.
He is your Shahrukh Khan...
what will Shahrukh
do by coming here?
Some dancing, singing...
just leave all that to us,
we will put on such a show that,
your friends will
forget all about Shahrukh.
But everyone is expecting a
Shahrukh-level rocking performance.
You haven't seen our level yet.
Don't worry... in fact,
just leave it to us.
Where did you copy the
'love till eternity' line from?
M\y original.
Bittoo!
From an English picture.
I knew it wasn't original.
The audience clapped, right?
Full on...
Inside you showed
them an English film?
What will you show them at night?
Not me alone... you too.
What!
Original Bittoo Shruti
from the kitschy hinterland.
Love is splendid.
Love is profound.
It's a euphoria.
It's riveting.
Heart's a nomad.
It's mesmerising.
It's riveting.
Heart's a nomad.
I have given myself to you.
I've lost everything to you.
I have given myself to you.
I've lost everything to you.
M\y heart is not mine.
It's crazy for you.
It's a euphoria.
It's riveting.
Oh, the moon so far.
I am just a lone star.
It's mesmerising.
Love is an enigma,
Love is a mystery.
Lanes of love are
like the deep blue sea.
Love is an enigma,
Love is a mystery.
Lanes of love are
like the deep blue sea.
I am drowning yet floating.
I am a waif, I am nothing.
M\y heart is not mine,
It's crazy for you.
It's a euphoria.
It's riveting.
Fall in love.
Sink in love.
Die in love.
Fall in love.
Sink in love.
Die in love.
God is my only friend.
In love I've lost my life.
God is my only friend.
I've lost everything to you.
Yet my lover's yard,
is better than the temple of god.
Yet my lover's yard,
is better than the temple of god.
M\y heart is not mine,
It's crazy for you.
It's a euphoria.
It's riveting.
Oh, the moon so far.
I am just a lone star.
It's a euphoria.
It's riveting.
M\r. Bittoo, M\r Bittoo Khan...
let's go and set the plates up.
They will be screaming
for dinner in a minute.
The lighting looks great.
I just hope that the flowers don't
wither by tomorrow... but I...
Oh, just let this Taj M\ahal be.
So M\r. Shahrukh Khan,
have your guests eaten?
Yes, yes, they have.
You should eat too...
so that the breakfast
team can begin preparations.
It's perfect,
M\aqsood. Come on, let's eat.
Thank God, at least she
said 'perfect' for once.
I was thinking that these
altars will turn into my grave.
Shruti. One minute...
sit down...
listen to the plan for the future.
Enough of the l-spy.
Happy Wedding is finished,
from now on only Shaadi M\ubarak.
Not possible, Bittoo.
No, Bittoo... I have decided.
Decision's taken.
We can't work together.
Last time we planned a
wedding for 30 million,
you created an issue and
broke up the partnership.
Now we have doubled it,
you are moving away.
What is the problem?
You really like this
snakes and ladders game?
Together we have organised
such a big wedding so well.
We are a great team,
and you are ruining it.
I am not going to let
it happen... I am not.
Are you done talking?
Now may I?
Go for it... say anything...
just don't say we
can't work together.
Any other conditions are OK with me.
I am getting married in two months,
to Chetan.
He stays in Dubai, and
after the wedding I'll move
You... you...
you've gone mad. You can't marry.
Why not?
And to Chetan I can...
he is educated,
sophisticated,
he is the right guy.
Nothing is right... it's
all wrong. Totally wrong.
Right... it is right.
Wrong, wrong, wrong...
Why do you think it's wrong?
Give me a reason.
Because wrong is wrong,
and wrong cannot be right.
Chetan...
Oh, so it's that jackass who
is calling you again and again.
Fine! Keep answering his calls.
Hello Chetan, how are you?
A problem has come up,
I'll call you a bit later. OK, bye.
Bittoo...
Wrong... it's all wrong.
Completely wrong.
Bittoo... what are you guys doing?
Puneet, get off!
I'll break your legs if you get off.
You're getting wet... for no
reason... Bittoo tell them.
Let us do our job...
just go from here.
Anju, what are you doing here?
Leave it... and go.
Let it go, Bittoo.
- M\ove...
You'll fall ill.
Let me do my job.
There is no point in saving it.
Just go...
Just get off... get off.
Hurry up.
Come inside.
Go in and dry yourselves... hurry.
Let it be...
we'll make another one.
You were asking for a reason...
Shaadi M\ubarak.
It's taken so much effort to set up,
and now you are
running off to Dubai.
What's to become of Shaadi M\ubarak?
Chetan has no problem
with my business...
I told you, he's the right guy.
I'll set up Shaadi M\ubarak in Dubai.
It will drown in Dubai!
What's it to you,
if it sinks or floats?
It's my problem. Okay?
You are lost along
the way, my friend.
Why have you turned a stranger,
my friend?
Bittoo. What do we do for breakfast?
Hurry up, there's no time...
What about uncle and aunty?
What?
You will go to Dubai...
what will they do with out you?
Both are very happy together...
and I'm not going to Antarctica...
Dubai is three hours away.
Don't worry, nothing
will happen to them.
OK, start placing the
pillows... Hurry up.
Dubai won't suit you.
You can't wear jeans and skirts.
Too much heat, too much dust.
Bittoo, any other reason? Solid one?
If not,
leave and let me do my work.
What happened?
I have cracked the reason...
That jackass is marrying you...
he is done for. Chetan's had it.
Don't listen to me. Go get married.
But your anger won't die down.
What anger?
What are you talking about?
Let it be... Now that
you've already decided...
what difference can my talk make?
Just say it... quickly...
You are taking revenge on me
by marrying that jackass, right?
Chetan! Show some respect,
you are speaking of
my future husband...
and why would I seek revenge on you?
You lied... actually you
had fallen in love with me...
and I paid you no heed and
that's what angered you.
To punish me you are
marrying that jackass...
correct, isn't it?
Shruti, where should I
place this DJ set-up?
Tell me quickly please.
At least answer my question.
Oh, there's a new problem,
the chicken hasn't arrived yet.
Hurry up.
Just this much...
don't increase it.
Play some English music, there
are lots of foreigners here.
Answer me...
you had fallen in love with me...
you are just
embarrassed to admit it.
Shruti Kakkar, the strong woman,
how could she get
trapped in emotions... ya?
Love and business do
not go hand in hand...
your famous business rule...
you broke the rule...
you fell in love...
what could I do?
Leave all my work and
attend to your feelings?
Why are you punishing me?
It's your mistake... no?
Bittoo, I have to get ready... this
is not the time for this nonsense.
This is the best time...
answer me...
Always wrong timing...
I've not yet got an answer to my
question, and he is calling...
Who gave you
permission to cut my phone...
how dare you?
I don't need anyone's permission.
Answer my question first.
Answer me. - Leave the phone.
Answer my question first.
Answer me. - Leave the phone.
That's enough.
You think the entire
world revolves around you.
Your answer...
your punishment.
I am getting married for myself...
for my safe secure future...
for my parents...
...they want to see me settled...
I'm marrying a guy who is the
perfect life partner for me.
With whom I'll be happy.
Yes...
I made a mistake...
I fell in love with you...
Shruti Kakkar was glued to
the Business Rulebook...
everything was planned!
But I planned using my brain,
and discounted the heart.
I fell in love with you...
if you did not, you did not.
You think I'll
chase you for revenge?
I'm not a child like you!
Got your answer?
Happy?
Shruti loves you and you
paid no heed to her...
Now are you a hero?
Is that why you
were after an answer?
Hello... how are you?
No it got cut by mistake.
M\y Friend
M\y Friend
M\y Friend
M\y Friend
I've checked the lights...
everything is fit just
dimmer number six is gone...
should I put all tube
lights on number five?
Sir, are you OK?
I am a bloody donkey.
Hello, Chetan...
I'm Bittoo...
Wake the f up...
something important.
Hello... how are you?
What?
What did he say?
Really?
I'll speak to him right now.
How dare he? Idiot.
Chetan, control...
I'll beat him to a pulp. You
don't swear. Take it easy...
You called Chetan?
- Yes.
You told him to step
aside... Shruti is mine...
Obviously!
Why did you tell him that?
I thought, let me
put him aside first,
or else he will keep calling...
and we won't be able to talk.
Tell me
whatever you told him...
say it to my face.
I am a fool, an idiot, a donkey.
Everyone knows that...
say something new.
I am a fool, to have
run away from your love.
I am an idiot who thought
that love would ruin my career,
and when I actually
realised everything,
I tried to play the
'Shaadi M\ubarak' card.
But you are a bigger fool than I am,
you taught me everything
about business with so much love,
you could have taught me
about love with as much love.
You were in a hurry to find
the right life partner...
and who did you find? That jackass!
If you don't want to make me
your business partner then so be it.
But don't keep me away from you.
There is no fun in life without you,
not looking at girls,
nor chowmein or tea.
Work with you is fun, and even
hanging out with you is fun.
I can work only because you
smile and say 'very good'.
Even my own father never
bothered to say 'good' to me.
Till there was happiness
in life, business was good.
When the happiness vanished,
business also sank.
If this happiness is called love,
then I am not afraid of it.
I will give you lots and lots of
love and take lots and lots from you.
Tell me, will you give me love?
No way...
One minute...
How are you?
How can you be good?
Bittoo's an idiot
to have blasted you.
Yes, that's been sorted.
I am getting into a
partnership with Bittoo...
And this time it's for life.
If he tries any tricks I
am going to break his legs,
but not the partnership.
Now, obviously our
wedding is cancelled.
He cut it.
How dare he cut off your call?
What are you doing?
You didn't finish speaking
and he cut off your call.
How does it matter? Forget Chetan.
OK, I've forgotten him.
Finish the business you started.
Business?
What you were saying... after that?
I've spoken full and final...
nothing beyond that...
Nothing?
Do I have to teach
you everything in life?
Hello? - No one can find
Shruti... do you know where she is?
Why should I tell you?
Preeti M\aam has broken her heel...
Is Shruti M\aam a cobbler?
Preeti M\aam is crying
about her broken heel.
I am on my way.
- Hurry up please.
Tell her not to
worry... I am on my way.
OK.