Bank of Dave (2023) Movie Script

[evocative music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[train clatters]
[laughter]
Good choice. Good choice.
See you later, lads.
Did I say saxophones?
- Two-sophone.
- Three-sophone.
[host] Dave!
- You're up.
- Whoa. No, no, no, no.
[man 1] Go on, Dave!
Go on, get up there. You know you want to.
- [sighs]
- [man 2] Go on, Dave!
Go on!
Okay!
[crowd cheering]
Alright, alright.
Here we go.
["Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake playing]
No, I don't know where I'm going
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on to promises
And the songs of yesterday
I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
Though I keep searching for an answer
Never seem to find
What I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means
To walk along
The lonely street of dreams
- Here I go again on my own
- [all singing]
Going down the only road
I've ever known
Like a drifter
I was born to walk alone
I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
[laughing]
Here I go again
Here I go again
[guitar instrumental playing]
[indistinct]
- Take care, you two.
- Take care.
-Night, Eric, -Night, Maureen.
- Here you are, Dave.
- What's this?
We got the contract.
We're building a new sports center!
Mate, that is
absolutely fantastic news, eh?
Couldn't have done it without you, mate.
This is more than what you owe.
I thought you could hang on
to the difference for me.
What am I supposed to do with it?
I don't know. Invest it or summat?
Eric, I've told you I'm not a bloody bank.
And I've told you, maybe you should be.
One that helpsout the locals.
- Goodnight, Nicky.
- Night night Eric.
[curious music playing]
So, what do you think?
About what?
This bank thing.
Last time I checked, you sold minibuses.
Yeah, I know, but
A bank that serves the whole community.
- You as a banker?
- [laughs]
Hmm, you didn't go to Eton, you didn't
didn't go to Oxford, you don't talk posh.
Do you really think you could take
them buggers on at their own game?
I suppose, when you put it like that.
Makes me really want to give it a go.
Hmm. Well, I'd put my money
in t'Bank of Dave.
- Would you?
- Yeah.
- Come on, then.
- [laughs]
[siren blaring]
[man speaking on phone]
[phone ringing]
- [exhales]
- [phone rings]
Yes?
Okay, I'll be straight in.
No!
- Morning, Hugh.
- Morning.
How did it go
with the investment bankers last night?
Um, I can safely say
it couldn't have gone much worse.
Poorly, I'd say.
What do you call 1,000 dead bankers
at the bottom of the sea?
- A good start.
- [man laughs]
I thought it was lawyers.
Used to be, but we've been usurped.
Right, we just got a referral
from Elliot, Grossman, Stein.
They can't take the case
because of a conflict of interest.
- When has that everstopped them?
- [laughs] Right.
So, a man wants to open a bank.
Is this the start of another joke?
This is the case.
No. The Financial Regulations Board
haven't approved a new bank in a century.
Century and a half.
Okay, who's the man?
He's fromBurnley,
it's somewhere up north.
I've heard ofBurnley.
I think they've got a football side.
- So he's a banker?
- He sells vans, I think.
Um, I don't know
what he wants us to do, Clarence.
We're lawyers, Hugh.
We're on the side of those paying us.
Even if they're guilty.
- Even if they're delusional?
- Even better.
This chap needs our expert legal advice.
He needs us
to submit the necessary forms for him,
he needs us to guide him
through the labyrinth
of financial rules and regulations.
Right into a brick wall.
We need to cover ourselves by telling him
about potential pitfalls of the scheme.
[inhales] Anyway, I said
you'd head up there today.
What? ToBurnley?
Uh-huh.
No. Come on, Clarence.
That's a bit much, isn't it?
This isn't going to amount to anything.
You're the one who told me
never to stray outside the M25. This...
Under normal circumstances,
those are the rules,
but having just signed off
on your expenses
that yielded precisely zero in billing
from the investment bankers,
there's another applicable expression
Which is?
Beggars can't be choosers.
[clicks tongue] Great.
["Kick" by Def Leppard playing]
[Hugh enunciating] Burnley.
[changes accent]Burnley.
[changes accent]Burn-ley.
I look forBurnley.
[drawing out] Burnley.
That's how they speak inBurnley. Burnley.
"That'll do, pig. That'll do."
"That'll do, pig. That'll do."
That's how they speak here, isn't it,
in Burnley? Burnley.
Yeah. I don't know
how they speak in Burnley, actually.
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
I don't wanna kick
[Hugh] Quite sweet.
Like a bread advert.
Or a, um story about a clever pig.
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you give me some more?
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
[Hugh] Come on, please.
Bollocks. Does nothing work
north of Watford?
[children shouting]
Oh. Hey!
Uh, sorry. Hey, hi, how you doing?
Um, yeah, I was wondering
if you could help me.
I'm looking for Finsley Gate.
No?
Uh, Fishwick Motors?
- Ah. Dave's place?
- Yeah, Dave's place.
Right. Well, get this end turned
in t'other direction.
Straight on past Tesco Metro,
four down on t'left.
Right over t'main road,
and Dave's is on t'right.
Sorry?
Get this end turned in t'other direction.
- Straight on past Tesco Metro.
- Tesco.
Four down on t'left.
Right over t'main road.
- And Dave's is on t'right.
- Yeah.
Alright, thank you.
[engine starts]
Thank you.
Bloody Londoners.
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit
What was he saying?
I gotta have it
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you give me some more?
Ah, kick it
[shivers]
Christ.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Um, I need to see, uh, Mr Fishwick.
- Yeah, he's just upstairs, that way.
- Okay, thank you.
[sighs]
Hello, I'm Dave. How can I help you?
Hi. Hugh Stockwell
from Bentham and Green Solicitors.
Ah, Hugh, you made it!
Great. Take a load off.
How were your journey?
- Yes, fine, fine. Shall we just get
- [Dave] Great.
straight to it, shall we?
- Sounds good to me.
- Yes.
So [clears throat] I understand
that you would like to open a bank.
That's right. [taps desk]
The Bank of Dave.
That's [laughs] That's
It's catchy. Very catchy.
So, tell me, how did this idea come about?
- So, as you can see, I sell minibuses.
- Yes.
[Dave] I used to sell vans.
I've got seven of these dealerships
across Lancashire and Yorkshire,
and, uh, well, I won't deny it,
I make good money.
Now, a couple of year back,
the country were in recession,
and, uh, my customers
were havin' problems making payments.
- So I started lending them me own money.
- Okay.
Pretty soon,
I were making loans to families
and small businesses in the local area.
- Why didn't they go to the banks?
- They couldn't.
For all sorts of reasons,
the banks wouldn't touch 'em.
Okay.
- Don't get me started on those buggers.
- The banks?
They caused the recession.
Speculating, treating the economy
like it were a bloody casino.
[sighs] Yeah.
[Dave] Got greedier and greedier.
Until the whole house of cards
came tumbling down.
And then, the government bailed themout.
With billions of pounds of tax money.
It came from the pockets
of the same people whose money they lost.
Hmm. Not their finest hour,
that's for sure.
- Bloody right.
- You were Yeah.
- That's not the worst of it.
- No.
Then, the top dogs decide to keep
paying themselves millions in bonuses.
- For losing money.
- I know, but
- Bunch of tossers.
- But
- They should all be in jail.
- Hmm.
Yeah, but, back to the loans
- You were making, you were saying
- Right.
- So, I lentout just over a million quid.
- A million pounds.
Can you guess how many
of those loans went bad?
Oh, I [puffs] seven?
Try again, Hugh.
- Three, I mean, I don't...
- Warmer.
Not a single one.
- Wow.
- Zip-a-de-doo-dah.
In fact, some of me customers
started making money.
And they asked me to invest it for 'em.
For which you need accreditation.
[laughs] Spot on, Hugh.
- That's why you're here.
- Yes.
Uh, one last thing.
This isn't about me making money.
Every single penny of profit
goes straight to local charities.
Oh, that's That's, um
It's charitable, isn't it?
That's Yeah, great.
- You don't look very convinced, Hugh.
- No, it's... I don't have any
You're not paying me to tell you what
you want to hear, you're paying me to
[inhales] point out all the pitfalls
and stumbling blocks
and problems you are going to face.
Ah, and hopefully
to find a way around 'em.
Yeah.
Right, so firstly I'm going to need to see
the paperwork of those loans
and the financials of your businesses.
Phyllis has got all that ready for you.
Great. I'll talk to Phyllis
and get back to you.
- Nine o'clock, here tomorrow morning?
- Tomorrow?
Uh, yes, okay.
- Yes.
- Great to meet you, Hugh.
Great.
Welcome to Burnley.
[man] Thank you, your worship.
[gavel slams]
In order to relieve pressure
on both hospitals and GPs,
we need to find a way to bridge the gap
between primary and tertiary care.
This proposed facility does that
in the most efficient and economical way.
Doctor Ashforth.
Shouldn't the NHS be the ones
to fund this facility?
The National Health Service has agreed
to fund the running costs of the facility,
but we still need
the initial capital outlay.
[incredulous] Which is considerable.
And our limited resources
are already committed in other areas.
Well Burnley has already earned
the dubious distinction
of being one of the most
deprived towns in the country.
We're caught in a spiral
of neglect and decay.
I mean, clearly something has to change.
But change takes courage.
That's a quality sadly lacking
in this council, and in this country.
[councillors] Hear, hear.
[gavel slams]
[Hugh] I can't believe
I have to stay for the night.
[Clarence, over phone] You'll survive.
[Hugh] Starting a new bank.
He doesn't have a hope.
I told him that
but he wanted the chance to convince you.
- How much are we charging him?
- The full whack.
Oh, no, we're not, are we?
God, I feel bad.
[scoffs] That's a first.
[Hugh] No, I do.
I feel bad I'm gonnahave to
tell him to give up on the whole thing.
Well, my advice is,
let him down gently and then see if he's
willing to explore other opportunities.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess
- Okay, thank you. Bye.
- Alright. Bye, Hugh.
- [horns beeping]
- [car alarm blaring]
Bollocks.
[comical suspenseful music playing]
Bollocks.
Stupid, stupid
[wrench clatters]
[child] What's he doing, Dad?
- [dad] You alright there, mate?
- Huh?
- Are you?
- Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
Come on, then.
[jack clangs]
[screams] Bollocks!
- [water bubbling]
- [motor droning]
[exhales] Oh, my God.
- [phone ringing]
- [baby crying]
Hey, hey, sorry.
I was wondering when I'm gonna
get to see a doctor. I'm in a lot of pain.
It won't be too long.
I'm afraid it's been a busy night.
Don't know if this makes a difference,
but I've got a private health care plan.
[scoffs]
- What?
- Hear that, Dr. Ashforth?
He's got a private health care plan.
Oh! Well, wouldn't say that too loud.
Round here we tend to believe
that health is a basic human right.
Not a privilege available
to only those who can afford it.
No, I'm not negating anybody else's pain.
I'm just saying I'm in pain also, okay?
I've dropped a
A, uh a car thing on my foot.
Okay?
- [Dr. Ashforth] Careless.
- Excuse me?
Michelle, would you, uh,
give him some aspirin?
Wait your turn.
[barely audible radio broadcast]
Oh, dear.
- What's happened?
- [Hugh] Nothing. Just a
An accident changing a flat tyre.
- Anything broken?
- Thankfully, no. Just my pride.
You muppet.
Is the car still there?
Yes.
I'll have one of the lads get it sorted,
brought back here.
Thank you.
[humming]
[Dave whistling]
Fancy a brew?
[Hugh] No, thank you.
Look, Dave,
I know I said yesterday that it was my job
to look for all the problems and pitfalls,
um
but, actually, it's a bit worse than that,
because
[Dave] I know what you're gonna say.
I know you're gonna tell me that
the Bank of Dave is never gonna happen.
You're gonna say
that the Financial Regulation Board
hasn't approved a new bank in 150 years.
- Am I right?
- Yeah.
[Dave] We got Google up here too.
But, please.
Indulge me, hmm? Just for a day.
There is method in me madness.
- I promise.
- Okay.
- Second loan I made were toJamie.
- Okay.
Come out here one morning
and it were quiet.
His amp had packed up.
That's how he made a living.
But with no bank account, no address,
where were he supposed to turn?
So I got him a new one
and he paid me back two quid a week.
- Two quid
- Never missed a single payment.
- Good on, you,Jamie.
- Eh up, Dave. You alright?
- It's gonna be
- Come on.
Sorry, I...
I want you to meet some more
of the people this is all about.
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright
[Dave] Come on,Eric. The big reveal.
- Have a look at that.
- Ta-da!
- It's gonna be great for the community.
- You swim?
Basketball, cycling. Which one are you?
It sounds stupid, don't it?
It sounds stupid.
A barge builder
at top of a hill in Ribble Valley.
But he's got one of the most successful
barge building companies in the country.
Dream up your favourite boat,
he'll build it.
- Yeah.
- Okay, lads. You gonna wow us?
- [man] Take hold of that.
- [Hugh] Okay, thank you.
- Cheers, Hugh.
- I'm spoiled. Cheers.
- Okay, cheers.
- To us all.
Cheers.
It's gonna be alright
You gotta solver by your side
- That's a proper drop, isn't it?
- Yeah, it's good.
[man] That's really nice.
- This is my favourite.
- Okay.
This is gentle. This is thecoconut.
[Hugo] Gentle's good.
Want a bit more? The Goan.
- Very nice.
- [Dave] Now, have some of this.
- Delicious.
- This is the mild one?
- Have a bit of naan with it.
- Yeah, why not? Thank you.
- Thank you.
- [Dave] You make these as well, don't you?
- [woman] Yeah.
- It's... I
- It's to the highest standards.
- Yeah.
- Good to know.
- It's vegan. Not tested on animals.
- That's good.
- Try some of this.
- Have a squirt.
- Good quality.
- [Dave] Shocking blue
- [woman] Have a smell.
Rub it round. It's nice.
That scent will stay with you
for the rest of the day, so
I put it on some of my horses.
This lady's an artist.
Anyone to apologise to?
Say sorry to the wife?
- Thank you.
- Have you got a wife?
Afternoon all.
Two black coffees, please Jenny.
- [Hugh] A macchiato with oat milk?
- There she is!
- My favourite niece.
- Hiya, Dave.
- [Dave] How are you?
- Good, how are you?
[Dave] Smashing.
Oh, shit. Hi.
- Should've known you were Dave's banker.
- I'm a lawyer, actually, but, yeah
How's the bruised big toe?
It's a bit more than bruised,
but it's okay.
[Dave] You've met already?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Hugh's advising me on setting up
this Bank of Dave.
Which we need
to get our project off the ground.
- Hmm.
- Sorry, what is that?
You know all about
waiting times at the A&E.
Here, they're some of the worst
in the country,
and it's because the people we deal with
don't actually need hospitaltreatment.
Their ailments could just as easily
be treated by GPs,
but it takes, on average,
11 days to get an appointment.
And, well
No one wants to wait that long
when they're sick.
So, we're proposing a walk-in free clinic.
They can write prescriptions,
run diagnostic tests, make referrals.
Sounds like a good idea.
- [Dave] Don't it?
- Yeah.
The NHS agrees,
but they've already
been pared to the bone.
And the council weren't interested
so thought I'd try Dave.
If you were to register as a charity,
that'd be a huge incentive
for corporate sponsors.
I mean, I know it's corporate, but
No, that
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually.
[phone vibrates]
- Oh. Sorry, I'm on call.
- Oh, right.
- Got to run. I'll leave that there.
- Okay.
Great.
- Well, nice to
- Yeah. Look after that bruised big toe.
I will. It's fine now, actually.
Not completely fine, but
- Right.
- Yeah.
- See you, Dave.
- [Dave] See you.
- Thanks.
- [Jenny] No, problem, Alex.
So, she's
What's all this?
All the projects that are too big
for me on me own.
Um
- Up till now, I've helped create 150 jobs.
- Yeah.
In here, there's hundreds more.
- I get it, Dave.
- It's not just jobs.
It's about the quality of life
for a whole community.
This is all really impressive.
Okay, but unfortunately, the Financial
Regulation Board doesn't care about this.
Question I want you to answer
isn't "can theBank of Dave exist?"
The question,
after what you've seen today,
is "should theBank of Dave exist?"
Well
Yes. Yes, it should.
Right.
So, this is what I want you to do.
I want you to file the necessary paperwork
with the Finance Commission Board.
I know they're gonna turn me down,
but I want them to tell me why.
I want them to admit publicly
that it's because I'm not in their club.
I'm not part of the Eton and Oxford elite.
I want them to say
that the very same people
who've just lost 500 billion quid
are the only people
entitled to look after our money.
And you don't mind losing?
Of course I bloody mind.
But it's the priceI'm willing to pay
to get them to admit the truth.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I'm in.
I'll give your boss a bell.
Tell him you're still on the clock.
[laughs] That'll make his day.
Alright. Time to celebrate.
And, as luck would have it
tonight's karaoke night.
Oh, no, thank you.
Alexandra will be there.
Really?
[laughter]
[Dave] What I didn't tell you
is that Eric used to be shop steward
at the Michelin factory
before it closed down.
And he was a real bloody troublemaker.
- Now he employs 25 workers.
- Thirty.
- This bugger turned me into a capitalist.
- It happens.
Can barely look at myself in the mirror
of a morning.
- Hugh
- [Hugh] Thanks.
- I'd like to introduce you to Maureen.
- Nice to meet you.
First loan I made that weren't
for a van or a minibus were to Maureen.
I heard you got yourself a posh
London lawyer to sort out this bank thing.
When you take on the fat cats,
you gotta have someone
who knows how to play their game.
I told Dave he was wasting his time with
the idea, but he's managed to convince me.
- Dave can be very persuasive.
- Yes.
I hope, for his sake, you're half as good.
Well hopefully.
So, you received the first loan from Dave?
Yeah. I were married to Ron for 38 years.
When he died,
I had very little money in the bank.
I couldn't have afforded a proper funeral
without Dave and Nicky's help.
- [mic feedback]
- [host] Right, first up.
All the way from London
It's Hugh.
- [Eric] Get up there.
- [Dave] Go on.
- [Maureen] That's you.
- No.
- I picked an easy one.
- Not nice.
- [Dave] You'll be fine.
- No, no.
- You know this one, you'll like this.
- No, thank you.
- Let's give him a round of applause.
- [Hugh] No, thank you.
- No, right, I'll just press play.
- [Dave] Hugh!
- [crowd chanting] Hugh!
- ["Losing My Religion" by REM playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Nicky whooping]
I honestly don't want to do this.
You'll be fine. You'll begrand.
I I really don't want to.
- That's funny.
- I know this one.
- Oh, life is bigger
- There he goes!
It's bigger than you
I
And you are not me
I don't know this song.
Can't hear you.
lengths I would go to
[muffled] The distance in your eyes
Oh, no, I've said too much
- I set it up
- [man sings along]
- You know. Do you want to swap?
- [man] No.
- That's me in the corner
- That's you!
Oh, shit.
- That's me in the spotlight
- A lager, please.
Losing my religion
Oh, God.
Trying to keep up with you
[groans]
- And I don't know if I can do it
- That's right.
Please help.
- Oh no, I've said too much
- [crowd singing along]
I haven't I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
- [Dave] I wasn't laughing!
- I thought that I heard you sing
Oh, come on.
I think I thought I saw you try
I think I'm I think that's it.
[scattered applause]
[Hugh] Okay. I'm gonna go.
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Thanks, Dave. Really appreciate it.
Well done, lad.
- [Nicky whoops]
- [clapping]
- [Dave] Well done, lad.
- [Nicky whoops]
Well done.
See. He's got a good voice.
- You'll bill me for that later.
- Cheers.
[all] Cheers.
- [Hugh] Speak soon. Yes.
- [Dave] Yeah, we better.
- Bye. Okay.
- [Dave] Take care.
- Cheers, Dave. See you.
- See you.
Oh.
[woman] I'll get it, you're alright.
Here you are,love.
Uh, thank you.
[calm music playing]
[laughs]
[knocking]
My God, Hugh. what did they do to you
up there in the North?
It's nothing. Silly. My fault.
I got a call from Mr Fishwick.
He's keeping you on
at your full hourly rate.
Which is, of course,music to my ears.
He also said he'd convinced you
to move forward on the Bank of Dave.
- Yes.
- Must be a hell of a salesman.
Explain, because this I have to hear.
The banks are literally
a law unto themselves.
They've created a model
of what a bank should be,
which is exactly like them.
Dave Fishwick's proposal is a new model.
A small local bank taking local deposits,
investing back into the local community.
That's a nice idea.
- FRB will never go for it, though.
- No, of course they won't.
But they are going to have to justify
why the status quo is so much better.
So, you want to take them on
in the court of public opinion?
That's not a bad idea, given the public
opinion has never being so negative.
But expect them to fight dirty.
The good news is they have to win
and we don't mind losing.
[Clarence] Hmm.
I'm liking this more and more.
What do you need?
Any advice you have
on submitting to the FRB.
You're going to need a business plan.
Talk to your friendOscar.
He churns them out every day.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Thanks, Clarence.
So, these are all old,
but they all follow the same pattern.
Huge upside, almost no risk.
I'll email you the software
that makes this a piece of piss.
These are great. Thank you.
What's this for?
- Um
- I know, I know.
You could tell me
but then you'd have to kill me.
Something like that, yeah.
So, tell me,
how's married life treating you?
[sighs]
- Oh, really?
- Hmm.
Come on, it's not that bad.
The baby keeps us up half the night,
every night.
Priscilla is moody as fuck all the time.
And the house looks like Ground Zero.
Aside from that, I've
I've never been happier.
It sounds great to me.
[indistinct chatter]
[woman] Hugh.
- Hey, Hen. How you doing?
- Hi. [laughs]
Never better. Will you join me?
- No, I
- Oh, please.
Bloody Cynthia stood me up
at the last minute.
A client dinner thedozy cow
had forgotten about.
I'll be legless if I drink this on my own.
- Please.
- [hesitates] Okay, I'll have one.
So, what have you been up to?
I've just come back from the North.
- Hampstead?
- Uh, Burnley.
Oh. Soundsgrim.
Actually, it's a surprisingly pretty
part of the world.
They've got a great football side.
Who knew? [laughs]
How's work?
[inhales] It's full on.
Giles is Well, he's an arsehole.
As you know.
- Yeah.
- But I can honestly say I'm loving it.
Great. I saw you and Jem the other night.
How's he doing?
Yeah, he's good. He, um
He just got a big promotion.
Great.
[Hen] Hmm.
[muffled sobs]
Oh, no. Oh no, what have I done?
[cries] Sorry.
Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. Sorry.
[breathless sob]
- He dumped me.
- Oh, shit. I'm so sorry, Hen. That's
I mean, what am I gonna do?
He's my boss now.
I can't go back to work there, but I
I can't afford to lose my job.
- [gasping sob]
- I'm sure it'll work itselfout.
- Maybe Maybe slow down.
- [waitress] Yes, madam.
- Maybe not drink so much if you're sad.
- This one, yeah. Thank you.
[waitress] Absolutely.
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
- There's a step coming up.
- One, two, three.
Good. Nice.
- Um
- [Hen giggling]
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, Hen.
No. You're vulnerable, I'm vulnerable.
This this won't solve anything.
- No?
- No.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[groans]
I do miss you though, Hugh.
- I miss you too.
- Hmm.
- We were so good together.
- Yeah.
- Can I ask a favour?
- What do you want?
All of Jem's stuff is at my house.
- Can I stay at your house?
- Of course.
But let's just
- Get into the cab, please. Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.
[Hugh grunts]
[Hen] Hmm.
- Okay?
- [Hen] Yes.
- Please be careful...
- [Hen] Hello! [thud, yelps]
[sirens blaring]
[soft piano chords playing]
[dog barking]
[grunts]
[dog barking]
Oh, Christ.
[moans softly]
[sighs] Thank God.
[sighs]
Hmm.
[ominous music playing]
[scoffs]
[water pouring]
- Hey.
- [Hen] Hello.
- How are you doing? Are you okay?
- [rueful laugh]Hmm.
I have made you a very strong coffee.
Thank you.
Sorry about last night.
I was in shocking shape.
Don't be. I was glad I was there to help.
Can we go for dinner soon?
You know, like normal people.
When I'm not completely off my face.
Yes. Whenever you like.
Tonight?
Yeah.
Um
Yeah.
- How's it going?
- Good. Getting there.
Excellent. Because I found someone
you should speak to.
Sir Charles Denbigh. Friend of a friend.
He was on the board of the FRB
until threeyears ago.
These days, he mainly does
legal consultancy for hedge funds.
And he's going to be helpful?
This needs to go public.
Spin Sir Charles a convincing yarn,
he won't be able to help himself.
He'll be on the phone right away
to his friends in high places
in the banking world.
Then you can tap
into the one thing you have on your side.
Everybody hates bankers.
Precisely.
Toodle pip.
Everybody hates bankers.
- [classical piano playing softly]
- [indistinct male chatter]
[clears throat] Sir Charles?
Hmm.
Hugh Stockwell from Bentham and Green.
Oh, you work with Lawrence.
- Yeah, Clarence. Yes.
- [Charles] Clarence?
Oh
I've never met the man.
In fact, until yesterday,
I'd never even heard of him. [laughs]
But, anyway, you're here now, so
How can I be of service?
Firstly, thank you.
Everybody tells me you're the country's
leading expert on the banking system.
Oh, well. I've put in my time.
I'll be brief.
I represent a client who is looking
into establishing a new retail bank.
[whispers] Not an American, I hope.
[laughs] No. The gentleman in question
is definitely English.
- Yah.
- Um
The question is more about scale.
In the rest of the economy,
we have large and small companies.
We have a chain of supermarkets
and corner shops.
- Greengrocers, butchers.
- Your point?
Well, my point is,
why do all banks
have to be like supermarkets?
Isn't there room for a few corner shops?
You're talking about Hoares.
Am I?
Oldest bank in the country, tiny.
Caters for very exclusive clientele,
old money.
No. Wh What about people
on the other end of the spectrum?
New money?
No money.
[puzzled laugh]
I'm not quite sure
what you're getting at, Mr Stockwell,
but there is no right size of bank.
The FRB exists to make sure
that people's hard-earned money
is entrusted to the [inhales]
well, right kind of chap.
- [Hugh] The type of chap you can trust?
- Precisely.
If their job is selecting
the type of chap you can trust
[puffs] you'd have to admit
they've been doing
a pretty piss-poor job, haven't they?
- I beg your pardon.
- Anyway, thank you, Sir Charles.
My clientis the type of chap
people in his community can trust.So
I'm sure there won't be any problems.
Thank you.
[grunts]
- [Hugh] What do you think?
- [Dave, on phone] Looks bloody fantastic.
Wouldn't be surprised if they say yes.
[chuckles] I don't know about that, Dave.
I'm going to hand-deliver this
to the FRB on Friday, so speak soon.
Okay?
Cheers.
How was your day, anyway?
[sighs] Fraught.
Everyone was being incredibly nice to me,
which is a sure sign
they're gonna get rid of you.
- How about you?
- Ah
I had a meeting withSir Charles Denbigh.
- You're kidding.
- Yeah, I did.
- He's a legend.
- Is he, though?
Yes. He was tipped
to be the possible governor
of the Bank of England
before the recession.
What did he want to talk about?
Nothing. I was picking his brains
about something.
- Um
- Meetings withSir Charles Denbigh.
- Secret trips to the North.
- Hmm.
- It's hardly secret, Hen.
- What are you involved in, Hugh?
- Not involved
- Come on, spill.
I'm filling the formal paperworkout
at the end of the week,
so till then,
it has to be just between us.
Of course.
I have a client
who wants to start a new bank.
You're kidding.
He's aware the FRB
will inevitably turn him down,
but he wants to force them to go public
with what they think a bank should be.
Well, that'll certainly stir things up.
Your client's credible?
[doubtful laugh]Yeah.
He's certainly a character, but
But, yeah, I think he is.
[Hen] Hmm.
- May I help you?
- Hey.
I'm here to submit a proposal
for the establishment of a new bank.
[laughs]
I'm not sure that's something
we deal with here.
According to the Financial Markets
and Services Act passed in 2000, it is.
Oh uh
If you'd like to take a seat,
I'll find someone who can help.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
[phone clatters, dial tone]
- Apologies for keeping you waiting.
- Hey.
Edward De Thame.
Hugh Stockwell from Bentham and Green.
Here is the proposal.
It's a long time since we've had
an application for a new bank.
- 150 years, I'm told.
- Indeed.
- Right, we'll be in touch. Right.
- Brilliant.
[man, over phone]
Giles, Sir Charles Denbigh on line one.
[nervous grunt]
[clears throat]
Sir Charles.What can I do for you?
Your friendHugh Stockwell
is causing us problems.
[Giles] Hugh? He's not exactly a friend.
We hired him a while back
just to do some legal donkey work.
He's just filed with the FRB
to set up a new bank.
[Giles] Doesn't sound like Hugh.
He's hardly ahigh-flyer.
Well, it's hardly
a high-flying bank either.
More of a corner shop.
I see. So, less of a problem.
[Charles] Quite the opposite.
It's one thing rich foreign corporations
trying to home in on ourbusiness.
We know how to deal
with those buggers, but once
ordinary people start thinking
they can get in on the act,
the floodgates'll open.
Of course. I see. So
So how can I help, Sir Charles?
I may need to call on you at some point.
For now, I have the situation
well in hand.
[soft suspenseful music playing]
[exhales]
[dial tone]
[Hen, on phone]
Sir Charles. Do we have a deal?
[Charles] Send me that page
and you'll have your promotion.
[suspenseful music playing]
[distant siren blaring]
[sirens approaching]
Bloody hell?
[car door slamming]
[indistinct voices]
[radio chatter]
[dial tone]
[phone vibrating]
Hello.
[Alexandra] Dave's been arrested.
On what charge?
Loan sharking.
[Hugh] Really?
[hesitates] Um, I I'll call you back.
I can't find anything illegal here.
These are all person-to-person loans.
Unless there's coercion or threats
of violence, it's not loan sharking.
Go to page 11.
I haven't got page 11.
Probably still in the photocopier.
You've got the photocopied version.
These are the originals.
The first loan Dave made
was through Fishwick Motors.
[Hugh] So what? He has a lending licence.
He's allowed to lend money
to buy a van or a minibus.
This is for funeral expenses.
Surely that's just a minor technicality.
It's illegal money lending,
for which you'll get a slap on the wrist,
and a criminal record.
- Of course.
- I told you they'd fight dirty.
[Dave] This isn't a big deal.
They let meout on bail
after a couple of hours.
- But they did charge you?
- Yeah.
- Can I see the charge sheet?
- [Dave] Alright.
- [Hugh] Hello.
- Hi.
[Hugh] This is actually very serious.
The police said the magistrates
might fine me a few quid.
- I'm not gonna prison.
- But you would have a criminal record.
Which means you wouldn't be able to run
a financial institution.
Exactly. If they geta conviction
for this, they've won.
There's no more Bank of Dave.
[Nicky] There you go, love.
- [Dave sighs]
- [Hugh] Thank you.
[Hugh clears throat]
It weren't even supposed to be a loan.
Sorry?
The one they're talking about.
The first to Maureen.
- Yeah.
- I've known her and Ron for years.
He deserved a proper send-off.
I were happy to pay for it,
but Maureen didn't want charity.
So,
I used one of the forms from
Fishwick Motors to make it into a loan.
When she paid me back,
I had to file the paperwork.
[sighs]
So what's Dave's defence?
- [Hugh] He doesn't have one.
- What?
Sorry, but your husband committed a crime.
Obviously a very small one,
and with good intentions,
but it's there in black and white.
No jury or magistrate in the country's
going to find him not guilty.
- It's
- [Dave sighs]
- [Hugh] If we
- [sighs]
If we could prove that the charges
were filed with malicious intent,
and the intention wasn't to punish Dave,
but the wider Burnley community.
It's a long shot but I think
it's worth a go.What do you think?
[Alexandra] I like it.
You'll have to put on
a hell of a performance
to convince the magistrates.
Like, "I want the truth."
"You can't handle the truth."
- Oh, I love that film.
- I've actually never seen it.
- You've not seen it?
- No.
I've just seen that scene.
- Classic.
- I love it. Dave's not seen it.
- Can we bring it back to me, please?
- [all] Yes.
- What are we doing?
- Right, so
I'll come to the showroom and go through
all the numbers with your accountant.
How can I help?
Oh, well, um
Well, someone made the complaint
which led to the arrest,
and it'd be great to findout who it was.
I have a friend in the police.
I can speak to her.
I can also speak to my sister.
- Yeah?
- [Alexandra] She's a reporter.
[Hugh] Great.
No, you won't be needed in court,
but a statement for the record
would be great. If you could manage it.
Yeah? Brilliant.
Okay, speak soon.
Um [clears throat] Dave?
- I just...
- [Dave] Hugh, come here.
I want you to meet someone.
This isRick Purdey,
legendary music promoter.
- [Hugh] Hey.
- Hello.
Hugh's a lawyer from London,
but don't hold it against him.
Fuck me. Double whammy.
Yeah, Rick's managed some amazing bands.
Really? Any I would've heard of?
- Saxon, Bad Company
- Okay.
- [Rick] Def Leppard.
- No, shut up. No, you don't.
[Rick] They're still going strong.
I'm still in touch with the lads.
Rich lives down the road.
Does he? I used to play a bit
Are you still managing?
No, I gotout. That end of the business
got a bit corporate.
- Of course.
- Still keep your hand in, though.
I spend most of my time
helping my son Jake.
He's managing this great local
band called The Goa Express.
Goa Express.
Part of my job
is getting him a new minibus
'cause they smashed up the last one.
Rock 'n roll, eh, Dave?
- You're getting mates' rates.
- Bless you.
Rock 'n roll, yeah. God,Def Leppard.
- I mean, I
- [phone ringing]
Eh Um
- Nice to meet you.
- You too, mate.
Hello. Hugh Stockwell.
Vans?
[giggling]
I need to talk to you about Dave.
- Fishwick?
- Yeah.
Your lot arrested him a few days ago.
Not us. London sent a team up.
When we heard, we thought
they must have their wires crossed.
Dave's an hustler, no question.
And he's fond of the sound
of his own voice.
- [both laugh]
- But he's hardly a loan shark.
He lendsa few bob
to friends and local businesses.
Yeah, close to a million quid.
You're kidding.
We need to findout
who filed the original complaint.
You know I can't share details
of an ongoing investigation.
I think he's being set up, Vi.
Someone's trying to use the police
and courts to take him outta the game.
I just want to do what's right.
I really think Dave
could do some good for Burnley.
[Hugh, on phone] Yes, but I'm a solicitor,
Clarence. Like you.
I don't stand up in court
and shout at people.
But admit it, you want to.
Yeah, but I don't think this is the
best time to indulge my fantasies.
Maybe we should get a barrister.
[Clarence] They don't appear very often
in Magistrate's Court,
and when they do, the assumption is
that it's because their client is guilty.
Yes, but in this case,
my client is guilty, so
[Clarence] You'll do fine, Hugh.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Saw you on TV.
Can you believe they finally
let me present my own story?
You were brilliant.
I always knew
you'd be the star of the family.
Tell that to Mum and Dad.
Doesn't matter what I do, you got into
Cambridge and now you're saving lives.
- We're both not doing too badly, are we?
- Mm-hmm.
We're finallyout on the lash. Come on.
No. No way.
I'm in surgery at 9:00 tomorrow.
Course you are,
but we're celebrating my first big story.
Speaking of
Have you got your next one yet?
I'm working on it.
Got any ideas?
I might.
[Dave] I just sell minibuses.
I used to sell vans.Any colour you like
so long as it's white.
Just kidding.Any road
When I was selling vans,
I met hundreds, maybe thousands
of small businesses.
Who doesn't need a van, right?
But they all need money.
To expand or survive.
How's somebody in London
supposed to decide
if they're a good investment? Hmm?
I'm with Dave 100% on this.
I mean, what kind of world do we live in?
Where you can get prosecuted
for trying to help those
who need it the most.
- It's all we're doing.
- Hopeful of a good result?
[Dave] If there's any sense in the world,
we are, yeah.
- Ah, no. We're hopeful.
- We are.
- It's all you got, innit?
- Yes, it is.
[indistinct]
Alright.
[gavel sounds]
Case 1220. Mr David Fishwick
on a charge of illegal money lending.
Loan sharking?
Sounds like the kind of thing
- we should be kicking up to Crown court.
- Hmm.
[barrister] Your Honour,
despite the seriousness of the charge,
prosecution will not
be seeking a custodial sentence.
It can be dealt with here.
Very well. Mr Fishwick, how do you plead?
Not guilty, Your Honour.
Well Continue.
[clears throat]
The documents in front of you
show that Mr Fishwick,
through his company Fishwick Motors,
made a loan of 1,100
on October 11th, 2007
to a Mrs Maureen Clayton for
funeral expenses.
Now, in the second document,
you will see that Fishwick Motors
is not authorised
to make a loan of that nature.
[sceptical laugh]
And the charge is loan sharking?
I am aware that the defendant doesn't fit
the usual image of a loan shark.
However, the documents in front of you
prove beyond a shadow of a doubt,
he has engaged in illegal money lending.
He has broken the law
and must now face the consequences.
[judge scoffs]
- Are you representing Mr Fishwick?
- I am, Your Honour.
Hugh Stockwell, Bentham and Green.
Do you contest the veracity
of these documents?
We do not, Your Honour.
I'm assuming you will be presenting
some kind of defence for your client.
No. We accept that Mr Fishwick,
on a minor technicality,
did indeed break the law.
Well.
However
We are asking that you throw the caseout
on the basis that the complaint,
the charge and the prosecution
were brought with malicious intent.
And this malice
is directed towards Mr Fishwick?
The malice is directed towards
the people of Burnley, Your Honour.
[judge] Well
All three of us on the bench
are residents to Burnley.
Are you saying the malice
is directed towards us?
Yes, it most certainly is.
You're being used to enforce
a corrupt scheme by convicting my client.
I don't think we need to waste our time
listening to wild conspiracy theories.
No, of course not, Your Honour.
Of course not.
You may have noticed there's a great deal
of press interest in this case.
They're looking for a story.
Ideally a simple one,
where there's good guys and bad guys.
I'd urge you to listen
to the evidence we have
before deciding which side you're on.
[clears throat]
We will hear this case, but Mr Stockwell,
I urge you to be brief.
This is not theOld Baileyand
this is not the time for grandstanding.
Yes, I understand, Your Honour.
But while this
might not be the Old Bailey,
the justice metedout here
is no less important
and no less worthy of our respect.
- Too bloody right.
- [scattered laughs]
Sorry.
[indistinct]
I'd like to callMaureen Clayton
to the witness box.
Dave said he were happy
to pay for everything.
But in my whole life,
I've never taken a handout.
I've never taken charity.
It's just not me.
I'm the one who said it hadto be a loan.
It had to be official.
[sobs] There wasn't a single day
that Ron and I weren't together.
And suddenly,
he were gone.
And I were all alone.
My mind is a total blank
about those first few days.
I must have been in a right state.
It were only [exhales]
after the funeral
that I started to come out of it.
And it weren't just Dave.
Friends, neighbours,
folk I hadn't seen for years.
They just popped by
and told me they were there for me.
It were the only thing
that got me through those daysand nights.
And the loan from Dave
covered the funeral?
And you paid him back?
Every penny.
I gave Dave the money and he gave it
straight to the homeless shelter.
Those poor people really do need charity.
Thank you, Maureen.
[clears throat]
Your Honour, I think it's clear
that the charge
of loan sharking is absurd.
My client only had the best intentions
and the charge hinges
on a minor clerical error.
I should point out
these charges were not brought
by the local Burnley police.
A team was sent all the way from London
to make the arrest.
Why all that time and effort
for a crime that doesn't even
merit a county court hearing?
Well your answer is here.
Over the last year and a half,
Dave Fishwick hasmade
almost 200 perfectly legal loans
to individuals and businesses inBurnley.
These loans have created 150 jobs.
Here are the documents.
But now, my client wishes to expand in
order to help more businesses in Burnley.
But in order to do that, he needs
to be able to take deposits
so that he can reinvest that money.
So, a fortnight ago,
I submitted documentation
to the Financial Regulations Board
to get him the necessaryaccreditation.
And all of this
is to stop him getting that accreditation.
- Why?
- So they can preserve their monopoly.
But why all this? Don't they have their
own evaluation procedures in London?
They do, Your Honour, yes, they do.
But I suspect they'd rather
you do their dirty work for them.
You can disqualify my client
in an instant.
I also suspect
they'd like to avoid media scrutiny.
Their image is alreadybadly tarnished,
and this way, they're not the bad guys.
Who is?
You are.
[sighs]
We need to look at these documents.
We'll recess for lunch.
- Reconvene at 2 p.m.
- [gavel slams]
- Hey.
- [Alexandra] Hey.
- You're doing alright in there.
- Thank you.
Not quiteTom Cruise
in A Few Good Men levels, but
- Getting there.
- Yes. I think there's elements.
- There's definitely elements.
- Thank you.
Em
My contact in Bolton Police is here
and she got a name.
- Yeah?
- Sir Charles Denbigh?
No, you're kidding me.
- Yeah.
- Oh, God. That piece of
I met him, but I didn't give him
enough information to start all this.
I I don't understand.
Have you got a plan?
Yeah, maybe.
- Why?
- You
- You're doing that brow furrowing thing.
- Am I?
Okay, sorry. I don't know what...
Don't apologise. It's it's sweet,
it's, em [clears throat]
- Em, so
- Wha...
- Sweet?
- [giggles] What's the plan?
[gavel slams]
[male judge] Let's continue.
Mr Stockwell. Mr Fishwick.
All of this is very impressive.
You are to be congratulated, Mr Fishwick,
for all you have done for ourcommunity.
Whilst there is no question
that the law has indeed been broken,
your argument that the prosecution
was malicious is compelling.
However,
in order for us to throw this caseout,
we need proof beyond reasonable doubt
that the banks were indeed behind it.
Do you have this proof?
I do not.
- In which case, unfortunately...
- [Hugh] But
Perhaps the prosecution
has what you're looking for.
[barrister] Excuse me?
When you were given this case,
surely the police gave you the details
about where the complaint originated.
That's standard procedure.
Well, in this case, no.
I don't have those details.
- You don't?
- No.
Seems odd.
Okay, so let me get this clear.
- An anonymous tip.
- [scoffs]
The kind that causes a team
to be sent all the way from London
to arrest someone
for filling out the wrong form.
I have no idea.
- I have no idea what you want from me.
- I'd like the truth, if possible.
Your Honour, this is outrageous.
I'm not on trial here.
Perhaps you should be.
This is a court of law, sir.
If you lie in here, it's called perjury.
- Mr Stockwell.
- Apologies, Your Honour.
Very well. As my next witness,
I'd like to call a senior officer
from the Bolton Police Force.
This individual has knowledge
of the case and will confirm
that the original complaint came
from the office of Sir CharlesDenbigh,
formerly of the
Financial Regulations Board.
He is one of the most
senior bankers in the country.
The prosecution is aware
of his role in the case,
but regrettably,
has chosen to lie about it.
- May I approach the bench?
- No.
[suspensful music playing]
I was asked to keep his nameout of it.
[judge, incredulous] Asked by whom?
I'm not at liberty to say.
We will not accept this kind of subterfuge
and obfuscation in this courtroom.
- Your Honour...
- No, enough.
You areon very thin ice.
Seeing as the prosecution
has admitted perjury,
I think a mistrial is in order.
- No.
- I can do better than that, Mr Stockwell.
Case dismissed.
[gavel slams]
[crowd gasps]
- Yes.
- [Dave] Is that it?
- Yeah.
- [Nicky] Oh my God!
- We won?
- [Hugh laughs] Yes.
[crowd cheering]
Get in!
[delighted chuckle]
[Dave] You were abloody star.
The war's only just begun.
That was only the first battle, Dave.
Which we won.
So let's celebrate.
We're all going back to ours after.
You're welcome to stay over.
Hey, Leanne. Have somebubbles.
[Alexandra]
What do you think of him, sis?
Not bad-looking for a socialist.
He's from London.
They have socialists there too.
I didn't mean that.
I just meant, you know, he's
He's a lawyer.
He's part of the establishment.
I spoke toEric, who is slightly more
left-wing than Karl Marx.
After hearing him in court,
he thought he was one of your lot.
He did good.
Well, despite coming from London,
and despite being a lawyer,
which is even worse,
you did good today.
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
Your testimony was theclincher.
Without that,
Dave would probably be banged up now.
- No?
- Yeah.
He's kidding you, Maureen.
Dave spent more on champagne tonight
than he would've had to pay in fines.
- [Dave] Right, everybody!
- Oh, youbugger.
Everybody!
This is a celebration,
so you know what that means.
[crowd cheers]
A night without singing
is like a day without sunshine.
Don't know if you've noticed,
but this is Burnley.
Days without sunshine are not rare.
You get my point.
You can all join in with this one.
One of the greatest rock anthems
of all time.
[both] Oh!
["All Right Now" by Free playing]
[Hugh shouts] Go on, Dave!
Wow oh oh oh
This is hisnatural home, isn't it?
Put your hands together.
There she stood in the street
[Lucy shrieks]
Smiling from her head to her feet
I said, "Hey, what is this?"
[Nicky laughing]
"Maybe she's in need of a kiss"
I said, "Hey, what's your name, baby?"
- "Maybe we can see things the same"
- [chuckling]
"Now don't you wait or hesitate"
"Let's move before
They raise the parking rate"
Come on. Sing it with me!
[all] Alright now
Baby, it's alright now
Alright now
Baby, it's alright now
[all cheering]
[music, cheering fades]
[inhales]
[birdsong]
[groans]
[grunts]
[grunts]
Oh, God.
- Oh, hello. Hi.
- Morning.
I think Dave's doing breakfast.
Okay, I'll be down in a minute.
Okay.
[calm music playing]
[Hugh] Oh, dear.
Ah, here he is.
- Doctor, he's alive!
- [Hugh] Yeah.
Get some of this down you.
Bloody ages
since I've had a proper fry up.
Oh, Rick Purdey rang.
His son's band's playing
in Burnley tonight.
That'll help the hangover.
- You're staying in with me tonight.
- Yes, I know.
Sounds like the perfect hangover cure.
- I'm in.
- Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Right, I declare Caf Dave open.
- [man clears throat]
- [indistinct whispering]
[door closes]
I'm sure you heard that your friend,
the one who isn't a high-flyer,
just wiped the floor with us.
I was surprised.
Especially as I was led to believe
it was all in hand.
I saw an opportunity and I took it.
Unfortunately, the threat remains
and it affects us all.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand
the reason for all this panic.
Just because awhite van man
from some Northern shithole wants a bank
doesn't mean
the barbarians are at the gate,
or we all need to move toDEFCON 4.
- You're not suggesting that we give in?
- Of course not.
The whole idea is absurd, but
let's not lose sight
of the bigger picture here.
The whole financial system
is built on trust.
We spend billions every year
trying to persuade the great unwashed
that we are the the
the caring, sharing bank,
or whatever other nonsense
our advertisers come up with.
And yet, we still come across as entitled,
untrustworthy arseholes.
So what are you suggesting?
Just that we start playing by the rules,
and insisting that everyone else does too.
Of course, we still hold the trump card.
Which is?
Well, we make the rules.
It's hard to believe this was once
one of the richest towns in England.
- Really?
- Yeah.
More cloth and looms were made here
than anywhere else in the world.
Well, it has its charms. I think.
In London, I live a life
of quiet desperation, really.
I don't feel that here. I don't know why.
- There may be hope for you yet.
- Oh, shut up.
[chuckles]
[Hugh] So, I think this
- [Alexandra] Is this it?
- [Hugh] I think this is it, is it?
- Hello.
- [Alexandra] Hey.
[Hugh] How you doing?
- I feel like we've entered a time warp.
- Is this the right place Yeah. Rick!
- Yeah.
- You alright, Hugh?
- How's the North treating you?
- Alright.
- Hello, I'm Rick.
- Hey.
- Alexandra.
- Nice to meet you. Want adrink?
Yes, please.
- I'll have one of those.
- Me too.
Two of the same, please.
Rick, what was it like
working with Def Leppard?
- I have to ask you.
- It was amazing.
- It was
- Yeah?
I had the time of my life with those boys.
I wasout for a pint with Rick and Joe
two weeks ago.
- Shut up!
- Reminiscing about the time on the road.
- I can't believe...
- Good old days.
- What?
- Are you a massive Def Leppard fan?
- Yeah, are you not aDef Leppard fan?
- He is, yeah.
I know who they are.
Don't know if I could name a song.
Thank you. That's weird.
I think that's your upbringing in Burnley.
- Very sheltered upbringing.
- Very sheltered Aren't they?
- Your Def Leppard-less upbringing.
- a Northern band?
Sorry, what?
- Pretty sure they're a Northern band.
- [Hugh] Who?
[Alexandra laughs] Shut up!
[indistinct chatter]
The morning skyscrapers go by
Everything looks better
When you're high
- Not bad. Yeah.
- Yeah, good.
Everything looks better
When you're high
[music continues]
- [Rick] You alright?
- Hey.
- What you reckon?
- They're great.
- Good, aren't they?
- Great.
- Thanks for coming.
- Thanks for inviting us.
- Cheers. Enjoy.
- Cheers.
[Hugh] Thanks.
[crowd cheering]
- [muffled drum riff]
- Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait!
- Take the bottle, shake it up
- This isDef Leppard.
You know thissong?
- No.
- How could you not know this song?
- I don't know this song. Good song.
- I thought you were a cool person.
- Great song.
- Thank you.
- [evocative music playing]
- [train clattering]
[Alexandra] Thanks.
- I had fun tonight.
- [Hugh] Yeah, me too.
- Yeah.
- This place is constantly surprising me.
Yeah, it's been a while since
I haven't thought about work, so
- Thanks.
- I'm glad.
- Right.
- Do you want a cup of tea?
Yes, please.
Uh, hold on.
Sorry.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
[birdsong]
[phone vibrating]
[water pouring]
[clears throat]
Hey, Clarence.
Oh, really?
Okay, great.
Um
Uh
Okay. I have to go.
But, great. Okay, bye.
- Sorry.
- Hello.
Hi. Morning. I brought you a tea.
[laughs] Thank you.
- Where are you going?
- [Alexandra] Work.
It's Sunday.
Yeah. People still get sick on weekends.
Aha. [slurps]
That was my boss.
I've got a meeting aboutBank of Dave
at the Financial Regulations Board
tomorrow afternoon.
That's good news, right?
Yeah. They'll probably still
turn us down, but
Maybe you could come to London?
I've got a sofa for you.
- It's about the same as this sofa.
- [laughs]
I'd love to, but
I'm on call all week, but
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed
for you.
Thanks.
- I should probably go.
- Yeah.
But, em, you can let yourself out.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Bye.
Bye.
[evocative music continues]
[siren blaring]
[car horns beeping]
- What are they going to ask us?
- Don't know. I've never done this before.
But neither have they.
I'm out of my depth.
We've answered every one of their
questions and concerns in the application.
After what happened
in the Burnley Magistrates,
they're aware
of the media interest in this case.
They are going to turn you down.
They'll have to think
of a clever way to say
you're not the right type of chap
to run a bank.
I'm probably not, am I?
- Hello, here to see Edward De Thame.
- Hello.
Of course.
Mr Fishwick, you've asked us
to approve the formation of a new bank.
We've studied your, em
Your impressive proposal.
And we're unanimous.
The answer is yes.
Hmm.
Of course, theBank of Dave
will be subject to the same rules
as every bank in the country.
[woman] Transparency is
critically important these days.
You'll need an IT system that
tracks every transaction in real time.
We'll need monthly audited reports.
[woman] Getting the system set up
is the hard part.
After that,
everything should run smoothly.
And lastly,
there's the standard capital requirements
that apply to all banks.
Taking into account
the intended scale of your operation,
we've arrived at a figure of, um
Twelve million pounds.
Which we'd need deposited in 90 days.
[clock ticking]
Thank you very much.
[puffs]
[anodyne lift music playing]
[floor bell pings]
[lift PA] Doors opening.
Don't have a clue
how I'm gonna raise 12 million quid.
[Hugh] There's no rules
against borrowing it.
You think the banks are gonna help us?
No, probably not.
We could look at institutional investors.
That kind of money
is a drop in the ocean for them.
No. It's gotta be
a local bank set up with local money.
Probably raise fourmill
against the business and the house.
Maybe another couple
from businesses I've helped.
- You're nearly halfway there.
- [scoffs]
Better get back toBurnley, see if
I can rustle up another six million quid.
Yeah. What you want me to do?
You've done everything asked of you
and more, Hugh.
This next part's down to me.
Thanks for everything, mate.
Um, okay, yeah.
Well, let me know how it goes.
You got it. Take care.
Our very own superstar lawyer is back.
You went full Perry Mason
in a Burnley magistrates' court.
A memento of your courtroom triumph.
I have more good news.
Neo Clarity Capital Partners
want us to take over all their legal work
and they want you to take the lead.
That's good news, right?
Spectacularly so. It means our billings
more than double overnight.
It also means a six-figure bonus
for you on signature.
[chuckles]
Wow, that's great.
They want you to be exclusive,
but I figure that shouldn't be a problem.
Your work forDave Fishwick
is pretty much done.
Unless you know a way to help him
raise 12 million quid.
- [Hugh] Hmm.
- I'll give you time to process this.
But I need to get back to them
first thing tomorrow.
And while there are a number of people,
including myself,
who were impressed
by your success in the North,
there are others who don't take kindly
to the public humiliation
of a scion of the financial establishment.
So, if you do walk away
from this opportunity,
the chance of any more workin your
only area of expertise is close to zero.
I understand.
[door opens, closes]
[grunts]
[dial tone]
- [clears throat]
- [dial tone continues]
- Hey, it'sAlexandra. Leave a message.
- [message tone beeps]
[forcefully] Hey.
[clears throat] Hey, sorry.
Shouted that. Um
I just thought I'd ring
and see how you're doing.
Uh, things are pretty crazy
here in London.
It's boring, isn't it? Um
But, yeah, hope you're good.
Hopefully we can
see each other again somewhere
sometime soon.
If that's
You know, if that's, um
Just... Sorry, nonsense.
Anyway, give me a call.
I miss you.
[thud]
[calm music playing]
[softly] Yeah.
[suspenseful music playing]
No.
[Hen] We'll take over his accounts
slowly, so that he doesn't realise.
You stole from me.
- I'm in a meeting.
- She stole from me.
You two can leave.
We'll finish this on Monday morning.
Not going to admit to it?
Why should I?
- I saw an opportunity and I took it.
- An opportunity for what?
I was in a bad way, remember?
I thought I was going to lose my job.
Instead, I got a promotion.
Did it not occur to you, you might be
putting people's livelihoods at risk?
Oh, please. Since when were you
the bleeding heart liberal?
You gave me the idea
to go to Sir Charles Denbigh
when you mentioned him at dinner.
- And you've not done too badlyout of it.
- Meaning what?
How do you think you got such
a high-paying gig at Neo Clarity?
- You tell me.
- [Hen scoffs]
Giles put you up for it.
He and Sir Charles
wanted you out of the picture
while theBank of Dave
faded into obscurity.
They bought you off.
That's what they always do.
Section 29, paragraph 14k.
The new wording works for me.
We're all good.
Great work, Hugh.
[voices fade]
[poignant music playing]
[woman 1 on TV]
Do you consider this to be good news?
[text message alert pings]
[woman 2 on TV] consistently lowered
bank charges to make itself look good.
I suspect the government will use this
as an excuse to make further savings.
[parson] It was then the Lord replied,
"My child, I love you
and I'll never leave you."
"It was when you saw only
one set of footprints in the sand
I carried you."
I have asked Mr Dave Fishwick,
a good friend of Maureen Clayton's,
to say a few words.
[door opens]
[Dave] Hiya.
For the last few months,
I've known that Maureen was sick.
But I only foundout by accident
that she had cancer.
She didn't tell anybody.
'Cause she, uh
Well, she didn't want pity.
She were a fighter right to the very end.
Maureen were a nurse for 25 years.
It's hard to imagine
how many people she helped.
How many lives she touched in that time.
When we think of a
a pillar of the community,
we we tend to think
of someone rich and powerful,
like a politician.
Even a bloody banker.
[scattered laughs]
But that's not right.
It's ordinary people
who aren't after status or fame or money,
they're the ones
who define who we are as a community.
What we are.
Maureen were
She were a real pillar of the community.
From the day she arrived,
we were a richer place.
And with her passing we're poorer.
We'll all miss her.
["No Woman No Cry" by Bob Marley playing]
No woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
- [Nicky] Can I get you a drink, Hugh?
- I'm okay.
How you doing?
- Hey.
- Hi.
Didn't expect to see you here.
Yeah.
I only met Maureen twice,
but I just felt like I should come.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I didn't call you back,
I've just been...
Don't be.
- busy with work, you know.
- Yeah. It's fine.
And you have your life
in London and mine's here.
- Yeah, exactly.
- Just not sure how we'd make that work.
Yeah, I don't even Yeah, I mean
Yeah, it's okay.
- It's not, but it's just how it is.
- It's what it is.
- Yeah, that's
- Yeah.
Welcome back to the grim North.
- Good to be here. No, thank you, Dave.
- I'm good.
Can't seem to shift 'em.
How's the fundraising going?
Well, I've mortgaged everything I have.
Uh, I pulled in every favour.
People have been very generous
with their contributions.
We're still four mill short.
We're not going to make it.
I need to face up to the fact that
the Bank of Dave is not gonna happen.
No. There are some other options
we can look at. Um
Yeah, maybe. Just not now, eh? [laughs]
Yeah, of course.
- How's things going for you in London?
- Good. Great, never better.
Ah! Well, that's great.
- I'm happy for you, lad.
- Thanks, Dave.
[evocative music playing]
[sighs]
[evocative music continues]
[inaudible]
[sniffs]
Rick? It's Hugh.
- All the best.
- Good to see you.
- Thanks.
- Good to see you, pal.
[Hugh] Yeah, thank you so much.
You're a legend. Bye.
Dave.
I know how to do it.
- What is it we're doing?
- Making the Bank of Dave happen.
We need to fight back.
- Come on in then.
- [Hugh] Yeah.
Right, hear meout.
[nervously] If this thing worksout,
then we'd draw a huge crowd,
which'd give us good publicity
and bring in even more contributions.
Hugh, I get it. I like it.
I love the idea of a concert.
But
are they really gonna do it?
Rick saysDef Leppard
are recording in London.
- The timing couldn't be any better.
- I don't know, I
I've only just accepted the fact
Bank of Dave's not gonna happen.
I need to sleep on it, alright?
[sighs] Okay.
[Dave] Oh, dear.
Morning, Dave.
Didn't hardly sleep a wink, you bugger.
Been thinking about
this idea of yours all night.
Sorry.
It's not going to make us enough money.
Even if we chargefolk 30, 40, 50 quid,
still doesn't add up.
So here's my idea.
You can buy a ticket for, say, 35 quid,
or you can put 100 quid
on deposit at Bankof Dave.
In six months, you take itout,
plus interest.
- So you saw the concert for free.
- If Bank of Dave doesn't happen?
Then you get your 100 quid back.
The concert's still free.
Eh?
Not as daft as I look, am I?
Um
Hello again.How you doing?
I was looking forDr. Ashforth.
She should beout in a few moments.
- Want to take a seat?
- Thank you. Nice to see you.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- The private hospital was full...
Actually, it's not funny. It's rammed.
Yeah. That's why we need the clinic.
Me and Dave are working on it.
It's partly why I'm here, actually.
Oh? Is there something I can do?
Could I have your sister's number?
Sure. Why?
I might have a story for her.
- Wha...
- No. Yeah, of course.
It all goes to local charities.
Oh, mate, that's fantastic news.
Yeah, I owe you one. Right, speak soon.
- If we get this sorted, we've got a venue.
- Where?
Their stadium.
[laughs]
- [Dave] Alright, lads.
- Alright, Dave.
- Alright?
- [Dave] Hey.
- Hey, Jake.
- Dave.
[Rick] Hey, Hugh.
- How you doing?
- This is Jake.
Nice to meet you.
- I sawThe Goa Express. They were great.
- Thanks for coming.
Thank you. So, what news?
Well, I spoke to the boys
from Def Leppard.
I told them about theBank of Dave.
Told them about the trial
and those bastards on the finance board.
- Yes, and?
- [Rick] Guess what?
They're bang up for it!
- You're kidding.
- [Rick] They said let's make it happen.
Def Leppard.
- Yeah.
- [Dave] That is absolutely fantastic news.
I'm here withDave Fishwick
from Fishwick Motors
to talk about the concert.
Dave, what can we expect?
This is gonna be the biggest night
this town has seen
since we went up to Premiership.
No, since we won the League.
And that were 1960.
Sounds brilliant.
The concert is this Saturday,
eight o'clock at Turf Moor stadium.
It's all to helpDave Fishwick
raise the money
to set up the country's
very first local bank,
dedicated to supporting Burnley's
businesses and families.
But Dave is runningout of time.
The clock is ticking and there's just
a week left to come up with the money.
So the whole community
needs to pull together.
We all need to be there.
I, for one,
wouldn't miss it for the world.
You're gonna have to do better than that.
This is no ordinary gig.
This is one of the biggest bands
in the world, doing a concert for Burnley.
For those who need it most.
Cool. Alright, that'll work.
Top man.
Don't lose sight of the big picture.
You need to get them
to give us one more week.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
We'll know, either way, by then.
- [Alexandra] Hi.
- Hiya.
[Rick] What do you think, Sean?
Not a bad fixture for Saturday.
I think it'll be deafening.
[laughs]
Come on! [chuckles]
- [Nicky] Hugh.
- Hey.
This is going well.
- Yeah?
- [Nicky] Yeah, look at this.
Most of the football team have stepped up
with their deposits,
it looks like
the concert's gonna sell out.
- We're gonna get close. It's good.
- Come on! Come on!
[fans cheering]
[wild cheering]
Hello, Burnley!
How you doing? Alright?
- Can't hear you. Are you alright?
- [louder cheering]
You ready for some rock 'n roll?
Give a properBurnley welcome
to a proper Burnley band.
Please welcome on stage
the wonderful Goa Express.
[crowd cheering]
Hello, hello, hello.
We're buzzing to be back in Burnley
and we'rechuffed to be part of this.
["Everybody In The UK"
by Goa Express playing]
- [muffled music]
- [coins clinking]
[knocking on door]
- Hey.
- Ah. Here he is.
It's getting busyout there.
You alright, Dave?
Yeah, yeah, great. Great. Just, um
You know, thinking about what's at stake.
How are how are the numbers looking?
Well, I'd be lying
if I said we were a shoo-in,
but, uh, where there's time, there's hope.
[nervous laugh]
Still
Whether or not we make it,
this is gonna be
the best bloody night of my life.
- Excuse me?
- [phone vibrates]
- That includes my wedding night.
- Yeah?
- [laughs] Just joking.
- God. Come on, you two.
Two seconds, I just need to
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I'll come and find you.
Hello.
You did it. This is amazing.
- No, we did it. Come on. We did it.
- Yeah, well
- [Hugh] Yeah.
- Em
How are the numbers looking?
[inhales] Bit scared, but
- Yeah, I mean
- that's fine, isn't it?
Whatever happens, what we did here,
bringing all these people together
for a cause,
it's something to be proud of.
Yeah.
- I'm just going to find my boss.
- Okay.
- Yeah, I'll see you later. Yeah.
- I'll see you later.
[exclaims, chuckles]
[Hugh] Clarence!
- Hey.
- This is wonderful.
- Really?
- It takes me back to my youth.
You've never been to a rock concert?
- Glyndebourne.
- Never heard of them.
Um, anyway, one second.
I need to ask you a favour, Clarence.
- And it's quite a big one.
- Right.
[muffled music]
[Dave sighs]
[moans]
We're so close.
- Yeah.
- [knocking, door opens]
[Rick] I'm gonna getDef Leppard
on in a minute.
You go down. I'll finish up here
and I'll be down in five.
[hand clap]
How's it going in there?
Oh, Dave, I'm sorry.
Still
- Let's have some fun, eh?
- Yeah.
- Hugh. Don't want to miss this.
- One minute.
[Rick] Band's coming on.
See you up there.
[calculator keys clicking]
[box lid closes]
[muffled music ends]
[crowd cheering]
- You ready?
- [crowd cheers]
It's the moment
we've all been waiting for.
It's the moment I've been waiting for
for bloody years.
It is my privilege
to welcome on stage one
of the greatest rock bands of all time
- Come on.
- Yeah. I'm here.
- Here. Stairs!
- [Alexandra yelps]
Right here, right now, live on stage.
It's Def Leppard!
[ecstatic cheers]
Whoo!
Hey!
Go on!
["Animal" by Def Leppard playing]
[Hugh] Alright.
- I give you the Leppard!
- [yelps]
[Alexandra giggling] How can we dance?
Shall we dance?
That's it. I was gonna give you a lesson
but you've got it.
Maybe a bit more fist punching.
Such a lust for life
The circus comes to town
We are the hungry ones
Just like a river runs
And like a fire needs flame
Oh, I burn for you
I got to feel it in my blood
- Too much.
- No
I need your touch don't need your love
- Whoa oh
- [Joe Elliot] Sing it!
- [crowd chanting]And I want
- Dave!
We've hit the target.
- What?
- We've got the money!
Can't hear you.
We've got the money. We've done it. Look!
And I need
And I lust
Animal
- We've done it! We've done it!
- We've done it!
- He's bloody done it!
- [yelling]
I'm getting youout. We're going on.
- What? What?
- Come on.
Wow.
[applause, cheering]
Whoo!
Everybody, this is Dave.
Go on, Dave.
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave
[crowd chanting]
[chuckling]
[shakily] Hello.
Thank you, Rick.
Listen, I just I just wanted to say
thank you.
We hit our target.
[wild cheering]
Go on! Hey!
Yeah.
Which means that we're gonna have a bank
which looks after the whole community.
Each and every one ofus.
And and that's all thanks to you.
So thank you.
But it's more than that.
This is bigger even thanBurnley.
We're sending a message today
to the banks.
We're saying
Enough's enough.
Enough of your greed.
Enough of giving money
to those that don't need it
and nowt to them that do.
We're saying that there's another way.
A better way.
- [man in crowd] Go on, Dave!
- [woman] Yes!
- Yes!
- Yes.
Look, I'm
I'm nothingspecial.
I'm just Dave from Burnley.
So if I can do it,
anyone can.
And they should.
All over.
Because helping each other,
where we can, how we can.
That's what community's all about.
So thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
[crowd cheering]
[Dave] Have a great night!
Dave, don't go anywhere.
Stay with us on this one.
- Me? Oh, no
- Yeah, you.
- You don't wanna hear me sing.
- Wanna hear him sing a song?
- Oh, no.
- Yeah?
[chuckles] Yes, Dave.
I can do karaoke but I can't do Turf Moor!
Just one. One song.
Oh, my God. What have I got myself into?
- This is a huge mistake.
- Go on!
Step inside, walk this way
You and me, babe
[rapturous cheers]
["Pour Some Sugar On Me"
by Def Leppard playing]
Love is like a bomb, baby
C'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp
Like a video vamp
Demolition woman
Can I be your man?
Your man
Huh!
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash
A little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me
Yeah
Yeah
So c'mon
[both] Take a bottle
Shake it up
Break the bubble
Break it up
Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon, fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
I can't get enough
[muffled music]
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me
Yeah
Yeah
So give a little more
Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up
Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
Incredible scenes tonight
at Burnley Turf Moor football stadium
where a concert has helped raise money
to set up the first new bank
in over 150 years.
[Joe Elliot] Give it up, Burnley!
[wild cheering]
[crowd chanting] Dave, Dave, Dave
[crowd cheering, applause]
Hugh.
Hey. I I saw the books.
They were nearly amillion short
until you stepped in.
- Oh, you saw that?
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I borrowed the money
off Clarence
and put my flat up as collateral.
- So you'll have to sell it?
- Probably.
It's fine, though.
Property's cheaper in Burnley.
Think it is, anyway.
[laughs] Hugh, no one in their right mind
moves from Primrose Hill to Burnley.
They don't. You're right, they don't.
Unless
they have recklessly strong feelings
about someone
they don't even really know.
[evocative music playing]
You talking about me?
- Yeah. I'm talking about you.
- Okay.
[chuckling]
[yelling, laughing]
[Nicky] Come on, Dave!
- Come on, we did it!
- [Jake] We did it!
[exhales shakily]
[lift PA] Going down.
[reporter] Any comment on what happened?
[presenter] Our investigative team
has uncovered what they describe as
underhand tactics
employed against Dave Fishwick.
The Financial Regulation Board
denies all knowledge of such tactics,
but at least two
of the individuals involved
have been let go by their employers.
- Count down with me. Three
- [all] Two, one.
[crowd cheering]
There she is.Bank of Dave.
[all cheer]
Here's to you all.
- Here's toBurnley.
- Cheers.
Give us a kiss.
In Burnley, the newest and smallest bank
in the country opened for business.
According to its founder,Dave Fishwick,
the Bank of Dave
will bring hundreds of jobs to Burnley
and will fund local enterprises,including
Lancashire's first walk-in free clinic.
[Dave] Can't forget them.
They helped a bit.
- Well done us!
- [cheers]
["Kick" by Def Leppard playing]
- And I just can't stop it
- Ahhh!
All night, every day
And I just can't stop it
And I love it that way
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
Na, na, na-na, na na na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
Ah, kick it
You're racing through my brain
Like a bolt of white lightnin'
And I can't sleep it off
'Cause your love's always strikin'
You're the tonic to my thirst
Sweet nectar of sin
I keep runnin' away
But you keep draggin' me in
And I just can't stop it
All night, every day
And I just can't stop it
And I love it that way
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
Ah, kick it
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
I don't wanna kick, kick
Kick your habit
'Cause you never quit, quit
I gotta have it
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
I said, na, na, na-na, na, na, na
- Na, na, na
- So won't you gimme some more?
Ah, kick it
[evocative music playing]
[Dave laughs]