Barnyard (2006) Movie Script

All right, now.
I'm just heading to the fields, Duke.
I'll be back.
Clear!
Hey, Jerry, how's your mama?
Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful day.
Well, time to go to work.
Morning, Ben.
Thanks, Miles.
Let me know if you see Otis.
I'm staying out of that one.
- Okay, meeting's in five minutes.
- Okay, boss.
And I want everyone present.
Duke, have you seen Otis?
Nope, I haven't seen him.
Now where was I? Oh, oh, yeah.
The Jersey cows.
- Hey, Benny boy.
- Hi.
Hey, you seen Otis around?
Yes, I know exactly where Otis is.
You boys just steer clear
of Otis, all right?
Anything you say there, Ben.
We'll take a rain check
on the meeting, though.
- Yeah, rain check.
- Yeah, that. Check.
Hey.
Hey, I stepped in something.
What's on my hoof?
Etta?
- Otis?
- Oh, Ben, don't worry.
I'm sure he's heading
for the meeting right now.
Okay, let go. Let go. I got it.
- He said, "Let go."
- All right. He's okay.
All right, boys, here's the dealio.
It's a little creation of mine
I like to call "hill surfing."
- Watch your hoof.
- I'll spot you. I'll spot you.
Are you sure this is safe, Otis?
Peck! Come on, safe?
It's completely safe!
Since when isn't surfing safe?
He's got a point.
Okay, salt lick.
- It's go time!
- I'll try it. I'm down.
- Shotgun!
- Piggyback!
Never! You are all gonna die.
- Freddy?
- Nothing.
Wait a second. Photo op.
Okay, get together!
- Hey, Pig?
- What?
- Where'd you get that apple?
- This apple?
Oh, well,
it originally was attached to this.
Otis?
What? What? What happened?
You know, it's times like this
when I really like to say...
Oh, caca!
You didn't do that!
Okay, okay! Look, this is bad enough!
Please, no one scream, "Tree!"
Tree!
Let's surf!
Hang on now, boys! Yeah! Hang hoof!
Otis? Are we supposed to
not yell, "Rock"?
We got a gusher!
Chicken farm!
Oh, I get it.
We can't yell "Tree" or "Rock",
but you get to yell, "Chicken farm."
Morning, everyone.
Okay, before we get started,
we have a birthday.
Everett the dog turned 13 today.
Boy, those dog years are rough, huh?
Also, remember it's...
Whassup?
Hey, Pop. Look, I know you're probably
looking for an explanation regarding
the exploded chicken on me,
and the sticky black... The oil stuff.
You are gonna love this! I'll tell you...
You the most, because
you, my friend, are a laugher.
And every...
- Didn't we all know that? Right?
- Just take a seat.
I'll... I'll take a seat.
Cool.
Oh, sorry about that.
Little tight.
As I was saying,
remember tonight at the hoedown,
it's free cider night.
Hey. Hey, Pig,
I think there's a dead bee in your nostril.
That's not dead.
Okay, the first matter at hand:
Gray market goods.
As if I needed to say it again.
The purchase of human articles
from the gopher underground
is strictly prohibited.
Hello, Moto!
Hey, Otis.
Yeah, listen, I think your Nikes are...
Yeah, this really isn't the best time.
Hang on a second. Frankie, come here.
Frankie, come here.
No, I'm not... Come here. I'm not
gonna hurt you. Frankie, come here.
I told you never to do that again,
as long as I live!
Now, put it over there! Now!
Sorry about that. Frankie's out of hand.
Oh, the Nikes. What's the make again?
Yeah. Yeah, I really should go,
Mr. Jordan Air.
Wrong number.
Thank you.
Second item.
Lest I remind you, this is coyote season.
That's right.
These are ruthless
and desperate creatures.
Rule number one: Stay in groups.
Rule number two: Stay inside
the perimeter of the fence at all times.
And number three: Be careful out there.
Okay, let's hit it.
And leaving quickly. Walking out.
Walking out. Step, step, step wider...
Otis, why don't you stick around
for a minute?
He's scary. Bye.
Okay, Miles. What do you think?
I think you're lucky.
Most cows only have four hooves,
but you're gonna have an extra one
right up your...
Okay, that's nice. Dad!
- Sit.
- And I'm sitting.
Okay. First off,
I don't even want to know
who was on the other end of that phone.
- It was the gophers, wasn't it?
- Well, I...
No, I don't want to know.
Was it the gophers?
- Here's...
- No, don't. I don't want to know.
Why do you do this to me?
How do you think that makes me look?
So this... This is about you?
Where were you this morning, Otis?
I was having a little fun.
I mean, you should try it.
It starts with a smile,
then slowly builds and...
You promised to help me
with the brush around the fence.
You know it's coyote season.
Geez, coyotes. I don't get it.
What's the big deal? They're coyotes.
Them tiny, us big!
What are they gonna do?
You have a lot to learn.
And you know what,
I don't get the fence thing.
Really, it can't keep them out.
That fence defines our space.
And as long as I'm still kicking,
no animal will be harmed
inside that fence.
Okay, that's what you do. You.
Okay, if you're trying to groom me
to be the big leader,
just give it up. It's not me, Pop.
I mean, if I were in charge,
things would be different.
Every animal for himself.
That's the way it should be.
Otis.
A strong man stands up for himself.
A stronger man stands up for others.
Oh, shoot. You know, I forgot my pen.
- And your shift tonight?
- I'll be there.
Otis, you're gonna have to
grow up one day.
You'll never be happy
if you spend all your time goofing off.
No? Just watch me.
Manabunga!
Freddy, is this great or what?
Oh, yeah.
I could just eat your head right off!
I mean... You know, it's fun up here.
Pip?
I'd go with the wood on this one.
That's what I'm talking about!
Sweet mama!
Hey, there's animals over there!
Nice shoes.
Oh, doctor!
What a game we have here today!
Yeah!
He got the ball on the 30.
He's down on the 20. Lifts it up...
It's a touchdown!
Yeah!
Bacon!
Hamburger!
Chorizo!
- Filet!
- What are you doing?
I'm naming the kinds of cuts of meat
to the animal I'm jumping on.
Machaca!
Pork chops!
Rump roast!
You know what?
You don't need to be doing this.
Oaty-oaty! Oaty-oaty!
Hi, Oaty.
Hey, Maddie. Looking good over there.
Chubba Face, you crazy cow.
Say, "I'm smooshy."
I am smooshy.
Okay, now you.
Say, "Boy, is it windy."
Boy, is it windy.
My turn, my turn.
- Okay, chick. Just run along now.
- Bye, Oaty.
All righty.
Hey, who is she?
They just showed up.
Farmer took them in.
Thank you, Farmer.
Yeah, something happened
with their herd.
They're the only two that made it.
She needs a friend.
Wait, wait, wait!
Excuse me, but I couldn't help
notice you over there.
Hey! Oh, look at you. You're all...
- Pregnant?
- Yeah, sure. I mean...
Really? 'Cause, I mean,
it isn't that noticeable, you know.
I mean, especially when you
stand straight on,
and you don't look at it.
You know, when you turn to the side,
it gets a little lumpy.
I mean glowy. Glowy. It's a glow.
I'm... I'm Otis.
Back off, Daisy.
There's an "L" on that boy's forehead.
No, that's just me,
the contortion mouse.
C!
X!
N!
- Q!
- Oh, man, you're killing me, dude.
Look, I just wanted to welcome you
to the barnyard.
I'm sure that you and your...
Not looking. The key word, "not".
Work with me. Not looking.
This is my friend, Bessy.
Yeah, she's a cupcake.
- It was nice to meet you, Otis.
- Yeah, too you.
You know what? Switch those.
Oh, boy.
There's nothing for you there,
but I kind of like her friend.
He's out!
All clear! Sweet!
Now, every heifer, every cow
Hold tight to your udders now
Farmer Brown is bedding down
Let's turn this barn into funky town
Chickens on the left
Dance with your neighbor
Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table
Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table
Try to go easy on the manure
It's a dance floor, not a sewer
Here we go, do-si-do
Here we go, do-si-do
Put this thing on hot!
Better hold on tight
When we go hitting the hay
You better hold on tight and pray
You better hold on tight
When we go hitting the hay
Darling, you better run
'Cause I won't hold back them horses
Hitting the hay
We'll go hitting the hay
We will rumble and tumble
Night and day
Here we go again
Come grab your friend
Shake him up, shake him down
Try to get a good blend
Here we go, do-si-do
Here we go
- First you hold on tight
- Hold on tight
- Then you dance all night
- Dance all night
Hit the hay!
Better hold on tight
When we go hitting the hay
You better hold on tight and pray
You better hold on tight
When we go hitting the hay
Hitting the hay
We'll go hitting the hay
We will rumble and tumble
Night and day
We'll go hitting the hay
We'll go hitting the hay
With our backsides shaking
We'll go hitting the hay
Wow! This is amazing.
What you looking at?
What? You want some of this?
Oh, yeah, I didn't think so.
Sit right here, honey.
The flowers are beautiful.
See? On time, just like I...
Right.
Cramp! That's a cramp!
Oh, it's cramping!
And release.
- Hello, Son.
- Dad,
I've been thinking,
and I'm willing to accept your apology.
- Really?
- Sure. I mean, it's only right. I mean...
Okay.
I don't mean to let you down, Pop.
I'm just out trying to have some fun.
It's a beautiful night.
I remember when I used to
sit out here with your sister.
- I don't have a sister.
- Oh, yeah.
That was you, wasn't it?
Thank you, all right.
So, are we okay?
- We're okay.
- Great.
See, 'cause I wanted
to ask you something.
My friends are all going
to the barn tonight,
and not that it matters either way to me,
but evidently, I'm needed.
I'm a sort of an integral part
of a musical number.
Yeah, I tried to tell them no, you know?
But they were just so...
I told them, "My dad's not gonna
wanna cover my shift.
"I mean, it's my shift, not his.
It isn't his!" You know?
"I don't want to be selfish.
What's mine is mine, and..."
What do you think?
Otis...
I never thought
I was gonna amount to much.
I certainly didn't think
I'd be in charge of anything.
But that all changed one day.
It was the day you showed up.
I head out into the meadow
and I see this little baby calf all alone,
stumbling around.
You know,
before you became a nightmare.
Well, I took you home that night,
and I know it doesn't sound possible,
but I looked up into the sky
and I would have swore
I saw the stars dance.
At that moment,
I knew my place was here,
taking care of things.
I guess you helped me realize that.
I love you, Son.
- You still want to go, don't you?
- Yeah, I really do.
Not that your stuff... You know, the stuff
you're saying isn't nifty and everything...
No one says "nifty".
I say "nifty." I do, and sometimes
even "swifty." I'll say that.
Very impressive.
Go ahead, have fun. I'll cover your shift.
Thanks, Pop. You're the best.
- Otis?
- Yeah?
Be the stronger man.
Yeah. Yeah, that's
that saying thing, right?
"A strong man stands up for himself.
"A stronger man can
bridge the gap between..."
Got it locked in the vault.
See? I learn.
Mr. Boombastic
What you want is a boombastic
Romantic, fantastic lover
She call me Mr. Boombastic
Say me fantastic
Touch me in me back
She says I'm Mr. Romantic
Call me fantastic
Touch me in me back
She says I'm Mr. Ro...
Smooth
Who's here? Moo! It's me! Moo!
Whassup? Milk me!
Hey, babe.
My barn. That's right, my barn.
You're late. Come on.
He's a real winner, that one.
Oh, stop. I think he's kind of cute.
Lay down in my Jacuzzi
and get some bubble bath
Only sound you will hear
is the beating of my heart
And we will mmm-mmm
And have some sweet pillow talk
I'm Boombastic, really fantastic
Mr. Boom Boom Boom Boom
Give it up for the one and only,
Biggy Cheese!
We're gonna have some fun
tonight, y'all.
Hey, Buck.
Get your hooves off the stage.
You ain't in show business.
What, were you raised in a barn?
Well, you're a good horse. Okay...
What you looking at, Turkey?
Somebody pass me
the cranberry sauce.
Dead turkey walking.
We all gonna die,
but we don't know the date.
We know your date, Thanksgiving!
Okay, to kick things off tonight,
I got a special treat.
Back by popular demand.
Ladies, this one's for you.
Our own Otis and the Crew!
Well, down on the farm
Where they all ask for you
Parties all hours of the night.
What is that farmer up to?
You know what?
- I'm gonna call someone.
- Oh, leave him be.
Well, I'll just call whoever I want,
whenever I want to.
That's exactly what I'll do.
Because I know
what a rave is, Mr. Lump.
"I'm going to sit and watch TV
and be a lump."
Okay, Mr. Lumpy. It's just not right.
They all ask for you
They all ask for you
Down on the farm
They all ask for you
I'll check it.
It's all right. Calm down.
It's just the pizza guy.
I'm on it.
Watch out. I got it. I got it.
Pizza, pizza, pizza.
Thanks. You want change?
No, keep it.
So, you really ordered a lot of pizzas.
Well, yes.
We're having a big human party.
Just a party. A big one.
With us celebrating our humanness.
- Dude, I love parties! Can I...
- No.
Okay. Well, then, I'll see you.
Ouch!
My arm fell off.
My fake arm, I mean.
Wow, I am so sorry about that.
- Do you need any help?
- No, I don't like help.
It's just against my religion.
I'm a Nohelpian.
Cool, I'm a Lutheran.
What about this?
You know what? You keep it.
It's dirty now.
Really? All right.
Dude, I got a arm!
Yeah! Righteous!
Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up
at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
Gonna stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world
from dragging me down
Gonna stand my ground
Good evening, ladies.
Sorry to call on you
so late in the evening,
but we did have a previous engagement.
Now, we're gonna take six of you.
Anyone makes a sound,
we don't mind the extra company.
Boys, take your pick.
You won't be taking any hens tonight.
And you're gonna stop us?
Is that what's gonna happen?
Are you gonna stop us, hen?
How are you gonna do that?
No, he is.
Ben. How are you, Ben?
We would've said hello,
had we seen you.
Put the hen down, Dag.
Sure, Ben. Whatever you say.
We're just doing a little courting,
that's all.
You know how much we like the hens.
You know me, ladykiller.
You have us
at a bit of a disadvantage here, Ben.
There's six of us,
and only one old, fat you.
Oh, baby! Party time!
Otis!
Otis!
Otis! Otis!
It's Ben.
Oh, no. No, no.
Yeah. You hang on there, buddy.
All right now, Otis. Just lift.
Ten and two. Ten and two.
Not like that. Now lift, and two.
You dog!
Come here, fisherman.
What do we do now? Who's gonna
protect us from the coyotes?
Anybody got a pistol?
Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you?
Let's get this meeting started.
- Duke, who's gonna run the meeting?
- That's what the meeting's about.
The meeting's about
finding someone to run the meeting?
Is that a good idea?
We should take a meeting about it.
Someone has to do this.
We don't have Ben.
Therefore, I would like
to nominate myself.
Dogs are... Listen to me.
Dogs are watchful,
they're loyal, and very protective.
And they lick themselves.
I don't want a leader who licks himself.
- Me, neither.
- That's nasty.
I can't even reach mine.
I don't do that.
Anymore.
One time, I was bored,
lonely, and a little snackish.
Yeah, I saw you drink
out of a toilet once.
- Hey, you drink potty water.
- You drink potty water!
My bowl was empty, my friend.
Come on, we're getting off track here.
Duke, with all respect,
I think there are certain traits
that would make you unqualified
to be leader.
Yeah, such as?
Your point?
Hey, come on, I do that for fun,
not 'cause I have to. Go on!
So, big deal. I fetch balls.
One little flaw.
This doesn't mean anything.
All right, all right, let's take a vote.
Come on, let's take a vote here.
All those in favor
of me being the new leader.
Those opposed?
- Can you see my hand?
- Listen now, listen up.
You all know that Ben always
intended for Otis to take his place.
All right, Otis is in charge.
I second that motion. Sweet!
Here we go.
Try and catch me.
Stay in line.
Maddie, we don't want to lose you.
Oh, I think that would be just fine.
Oaty-oaty! Hey, Oaty!
Hey, Maddie, now really isn't a good...
What are you doing?
Would you stop? Come on.
Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys...
- Oh, goodness gracious.
- What is it? What is it?
Otis, it's a madhouse! Isn't it just great?
You got hit with a soccer ball.
I thought I'd be the first
to congratulate you, Otis.
- You're in charge now.
- I'm what?
Miles, I am not in charge, okay?
I don't do "In charge".
- This is not my responsibility.
- I hear you.
But you were elected fair and square.
Congratulations, boss.
Hey!
Have you all lost your mind?
It's daylight.
The Farmer's gonna be back.
This is so off limits.
Come on, Otis,
I know your weak spot.
Wild Mike!
- What?
- Wild Mike.
Wild Mike. Wild Mike.
- Wild Mike.
- I'm not doing this, okay?
- There's no way this is happening.
- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.
- Everybody just get back to your...
- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.
- Return to your designated quadrants.
- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.
Wild Mike! Wild Mike!
- This is ridiculous!
- Wild Mike!
I'm not gonna dance
just because you're getting Wild Mike.
- Pip, help me out here.
- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.
You can't fight it, Otis.
You're a born party animal.
Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike!
Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike!
Let's boogie!
We're heading for the West
Not heading for the East
We're gonna live our dream
'Cause we're wild and free
Look at that freaky thing.
What kind of animal is that?
I don't know, but he sure can dance.
I say, let's kill it.
Give me that piece of wood over there.
Sweet legs! Get the sweet legs!
I got the sweet legs!
Moo?
What did you do that for?
What else was I gonna do? He saw you.
You could have killed him!
I got a pulse.
Oh, this is bad. This is bad.
This is so bad.
Baaad.
Everybody, just calm down.
Just calm down, all right?
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
What?
Come on. You're our leader. Lead us.
That does not apply to this.
This is a totally, situationally
different suspect.
Hey, whoa, no.
- We gotta ditch the body.
- Stop it!
He knows too much.
We gotta take care of him.
- We gotta whack him.
- There will be no whacking, okay?
The Farmer's a good guy.
He's been good to us.
He's a vegan, God bless him.
And what is a vegan, again?
I know this one.
No, I got it. It means
you can't eat anything with a face.
No, no, no, that's a vegetarian.
Vegetarians have to eat
in the dark, right?
That's a vampire. Come on.
You can't eat cheese?
It's not just cheese.
Vegans can't have any dairy products.
- Cake?
- Cake has egg products.
But you can't have any dairy.
No dairy? I love dairy.
Does that mean I can't be a vegan?
I love the smell of bacon.
There, I said it.
Would you not do that?
It's not like we have a lot of options.
Boy, that's a doozy.
That thing's bigger than me.
Push it.
- He wakes up, you got my back, right?
- Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, watch this. Off his nose,
on the belly, on the floor. Check it.
Book.
Okay, now.
He was sitting here, he was reading.
- Something fell on his head, and...
- I got it.
Too light.
Couldn't cause a bump like that.
I bet it could.
Would you cut it out?
We need something bigger.
Can I have the apple?
What's with the look?
He's buying it.
He's not buying it.
He's buying it.
He's not buying it.
No, he's buying it.
Will you stop doing that?
Well, unless you get him a blindfold,
I'm going to kick him!
Okay, let's go.
There. See? Good as new.
I'll tell you,
this being in charge thing isn't so tough.
You know what I'm talking about?
You know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
Yeah, hi. Hey, there.
Having a good day? Yeah.
So, this was Otis's idea?
Oh, yeah.
We're like the second line of defense.
We see or hear anything suspicious,
and I just signal Otis with a crow.
And I've really been
working on it. Listen.
Well, you know, in the moment,
it'll be really strong.
But for now, we just stand watch.
Yeah, watch.
Come and get it!
Freddy, you okay?
Boneless white meat!
What? I'm not hungry!
I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone...
Thing... You...
What happened? What? What? What?
Okay, quick little once
around the barnyard, then, hello, party!
Hey, look at this.
It's our new inside connection.
Congrats, Otis.
Oh, will you look at that?
Don't wake up the cow.
That's called cowtipping.
Oh, that so steams me!
Man, I wish I could get
a hold of that little... I would...
Hey, I'm in charge, right?
Oh, we are so talking.
Are we not talking?
- Talking the talk and walking the walk.
- Walkie-talkie, huh?
Let's go.
Then I said, "That's called cowtipping."
I hear music over there again.
Do you hear music?
That farmer's out of control.
We should call someone.
We should call someone.
- I smell buttermilk.
- Shut up! Shut up!
- What's that smell?
- Stop it! Stop it!
Randall, there is a cow outside.
This is a cow farm.
You're gonna find cows outside.
No, I mean right outside.
Right outside this house,
looming like a ghost. Like a reaper.
No, cows don't like houses much.
They prefer it out in the meadow,
where they can get a graze on.
Nathan Randall the Third,
I am not crazy.
I am medicated
for a chemical imbalance.
Don't you sit there
and think that I am crazy.
Your mind's gone, woman.
Where'd it go? I don't know.
It's gone.
- Oh geez, you're on my foot again.
- Sorry.
This is so sweet.
This is so wicked sweet.
I love the new you, Otis.
Okay, lgg,
you remember how to do this?
- Oh, he remembers.
- I remember.
- Yeah, he remembers.
- He's remembering.
Right now.
Well, pinch me, I'm dreaming.
Here is a first.
Otis joining us on a joyride.
- That's the animal sin of sins, huh?
- "Sin of sins," I like that.
Hey, old Bud. Bud, you bring the stuff?
It's right here.
- Show it. Show it.
- It's right here.
- Show it.
- It's right here.
- Show it.
- It's right there.
We're rebels! We're rebels!
We're the wildest!
There they are.
- Too bad we can't go in there.
- Yeah.
Breaks my heart.
Now remember, honey, I told you,
we can't be staying out this late
on a school night.
"We can't be staying out late."
Whatever. I'll do what I want.
Do what I want, when I want,
'cause I want to do it.
You've come to the wrong place.
- What is that?
- I'm lactose intolerant.
- Oh, man.
- Here we go. I know.
- One, two...
- Yeah.
Two, yeah.
Moo!
That's called boytipping!
- Let's get out of here!
- Come on, move it!
Let me out!
Okay, go!
Never go to meadows.
Never go to meadows.
Never go to meadows.
Never go to meadows.
Treat cows nicely.
Okay, no more Red Bull.
Put crowns on our heads,
'cause we are the kings!
Did you see his face?
- Price...
- Less.
- Price...
- Less.
- Pr...
- Ice...
Less.
A toast! To a new world order.
We are calling the shots now!
- Yeah, it's all about us now.
- You've got that right, Otis.
Nothing can touch us.
Oh, man! Oh, man!
- Oh, man!
- Man, oh, man!
Let me out! You gotta let me out!
Pull over to the side of the road.
Oh, no, they're talking to us now.
Pull over! You gotta pull over!
We can't pull over!
Hang on!
What could be worse than this?
What we got here
is probably some teenagers
going out for a joyride
in their mom's car.
Yeah, we'll shake them up a bit,
send them home. You know kids.
Nothing a little strip search
won't cure, yeah.
Is this thing still on?
Is that a camera?
- This is it. Goodbye.
- They're taping Cops.
Mommy! Mooo-mmy!
Hey, relax. We can lose them.
I mean, it's just a car, right?
It's a chopper! It's a chopper!
We're gonna die!
We interrupt this program with
a breaking news story. Police are in...
Would you look at that?
The world is going crazy.
These kids get all hopped up on
Diet Coke and Jolly Ranchers and just...
That's our car!
That was a hoof.
There's a cow in our car! That is a hoof!
Yes, this is Nora Beady.
What do you mean, "What now?"
My car is on TV,
and I think there's a cow in it.
And I saw a cow outside my window.
I think they may be linked.
Don't think I can't call again, Gary.
Oh, that's nice. Good.
They're gonna catch us
and they're gonna dissect us.
We are ditching out!
Two all-beef patties, that's our future!
Out! Run!
- Run!
- Stop touching me!
They're making a run for it. Let's go.
Come on.
This is Gray Badger in Chopper 219.
We've got suspects in sight.
I'm chafing!
Okay. Hurry up, fellows.
They're right over there.
Oh, milk me!
Okay, here we go! Here we go!
Milk me!
Geez, these guys are big.
I see them over there.
Cut it right!
We got them!
Could you guys believe that?
Did you guys see me?
Me, I am fearless, baby.
- Oh, yeah, fear...
- Less.
I think I rolled over my foot.
We left it the same way we found it.
Okay, toodle-oo, Otis.
Same time tomorrow night?
Hey, guys, can you imagine
Ben doing something like that?
- No way. No way.
- We'd be in trouble.
- Trou...
- Ble.
Okay, explain to me exactly
why are we doing this?
Because it's what my dad would do.
Why don't you just go have fun,
all right? I can do this.
No way. We're homeboys.
I'm here with you.
Really, it's all right.
Okay, I tried! Later, dude.
I'll bring you back a drink or something.
Be back.
Come on back, I'm right here.
Mind if I join you?
No. I mean, sure. I no mind you...
Geez, I can't even talk to you!
Hang on a second.
Here. You know, just let me...
No, I can still sit on my own, I think.
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh, the baby's coming!
What?
I made you jump.
Nice. Nice. Thank you.
I about swallowed my cud.
- It's beautiful, isn't it?
- My cud?
- The night.
- Yeah, that, too. Yeah, it's nice.
My dad had a thing about stars.
- Tell me, what was he like?
- My pop?
He was amazing.
Bigger than life, you know?
Funny, we're not even related.
He found me and he took me in.
I never thought about it before,
but everything he did was for me.
He's the only family I've ever known.
The last time we talked,
he told me that the night he found me
he looked up into the sky
and he said that the stars...
God, I miss him.
What about you?
I mean, if that's too personal, you know.
If I'm overstepping like a boundary or...
You know what? Too bad. Cough it up.
Okay.
Well, where do I start?
I was married, and life was good.
Yeah. It seems like
forever ago now, but...
One day, a bad storm rolled in.
Bessy and I were in the meadow
and we found a place on high ground.
But when we went home,
well, everyone was gone.
You know what I think?
I think some good things are gonna
start happening to you and me.
What, do you wanna be a hero, cow?
Hey, you're Ben's kid.
Otis, right?
So they left you in charge?
Oh, that's precious.
You thought you could fill his shoes?
Otis, where were you?
Were you off having fun?
Laughing with your barnyard buddies?
Yeah, you could have made a difference
had you been there for him,
but you weren't. Were you?
Okay, from here on out,
this is the way it's gonna work.
We show up, you look the other way.
A few animals missing here and there.
Hey, it's the natural order of things.
It'll be our little secret.
Oh, and Ben's kid,
if you should think about getting
a sudden burst of courage,
we slaughter every animal in sight.
Now, you go back,
make everyone feel all safe,
and we'll be seeing you tomorrow night.
That's a date.
See you around.
"Round." You're fat.
Hey, Pop.
I wanted to come by and...
Look, you were just a great dad.
You see, I...
I don't know what I was thinking,
but, for a minute, I actually thought
I could take your place.
But those coyotes?
I mean, you'd have stood up to them
and you wouldn't have backed down.
I gotta tell you, I was so afraid.
You know, I know I always said
that I wasn't you, and I'm not.
But I wish I was.
I can't do it, Pop.
I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
And Duke will handle things,
and everything will be fine.
Wait. What are you talking about?
Could you just not say anything?
Okay, I don't want to make
a big thing about this.
Hey, everybody!
Otis is leaving the barnyard!
- What's going on?
- I don't believe it.
Oat, seriously,
I mean, you and me,
we're like best friends.
No, Pip. It's over!
I'm leaving, all right? No big whoop.
Continue your day.
Come on, Otis, we'll do what you say.
That's the point.
I don't want you to do what I say.
I don't want any of you
to have to listen to me.
Don't listen to him!
Stop doing what I say!
Okay, so what you're saying is,
you'll stay if we don't do what you say.
Dead bee.
Thanks.
Again, alive.
Duke, you're in charge.
Get the dogs together.
You guys can handle things
better than I ever could.
Sure, Otis. If you say.
I've got my own life to lead, all right?
I don't belong here anymore.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What happened, Otis?
Oh, please don't say, "Nothing."
Look, it's complicated.
If you're hurting, let me help.
I'd like to help.
You know what happened?
I froze. Okay?
Last night, I didn't run the coyotes off.
I couldn't do anything.
They're gonna come back tonight,
and I can't protect anyone.
Everyone here, they all trust me.
And I can't protect a single one of them.
Otis, the best leader
isn't the biggest or the strongest.
The best leader is the one
who cares the most.
Yeah, that's a nice thought, Daisy.
That's a really nice thought.
I'll tell you one thing.
I am really going to miss Bessy.
Okay. If this is what you have to do,
I understand.
But I just want you to know one thing.
Even if you do leave, I believe in you.
Otis! Otis!
All right, Peck, take it easy.
What's the matter?
They took... We got to... Come on!
I found him, guys!
Otis, the coyotes. It just happened.
They took Etta, Hanna,
maybe six, seven others, I don't know.
They've never come
during the day before.
They knew I wouldn't be
expecting them until tonight.
They played me.
- What?
- Nothing.
Otis, they took Maddie.
Those coyotes are strong.
What?
The coyotes, they're strong.
I was just wondering
what a stronger man might do.
- You'll look after things?
- Be proud to.
I'll be back.
- I'm going, too.
- No, Pip, stay here.
You can't do this alone.
They could kill you.
Yeah, I guess they could.
It's nice that you ladies
could join us this evening.
Thank you for being so patient.
We prefer dining at night.
You're a wonderful species.
I love chicken.
My favorite part is the skin.
You're a big meanie.
- What?
- You're a meaner.
Meaner, meaner.
Meaners got to eat, too.
Leave her alone.
This one's mine.
Cook her while I have the little one
for an appetizer.
You know, because I'm a meaner.
Put the chick down, Dag.
- Otis!
- Oaty!
We suddenly got a burst of courage,
did we?
Okay. All right.
Well, first, what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna take that chick from you.
Then, while you're picking yourself
up off the ground,
I'm gonna gather up the hens
and I'm gonna leave.
And exactly how do you propose
you're going to do that?
Kill him!
Well, I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on
pushing me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down
Hey, baby
There ain't no easy way out
Hey
I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Oh, you like that, yeah?
That should do. That should do.
Well, look at the hero.
You thought you could come
into my den?
Now, why don't you lay there and watch
while we eat your friends?
What's this?
A strong man stands up for himself.
A stronger man stands up for others.
This should be fun.
I smell fear.
Shoot! I told you they can smell it!
They can smell it?
Oh, yeah, I have it. I have a lot of it.
Just stick near me, guys,
and you'll be all right.
Yeah, I'll watch your juicy back.
I mean, your regular back.
- Hey!
- Sorry, man.
They're just pellets. I'm nervous.
That's your army?
Something tells me you may want
to take a couple steps back.
Here we come!
- Here comes trou...
- Ble!
- Trou...
- Ble!
- Trou...
- Ble!
Pip, talk me into it. Talk me into it.
Flip the lid a little bit.
You're mad! You're a pig!
- You're mad!
- Let's do this!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna go right in your ear!
There's a mouse in my ear!
There's a mouse in my ear!
Oh, yeah. Step on it, baby!
All right, come on.
Give me your best shot.
Oh, sorry. Here. You know what?
Let me give you a hand.
Yeah, give him the puncher!
Smack him!
Well, well, whatever will I do?
Oh, don't worry,
I got something special for you.
I just love that little guy.
Come on, hurry.
- No!
- Hi!
It tastes like chicken!
Chicken!
Chick, chick, chickity-chick, chicken!
Come here,
you furry, four-legged chickens!
Take it easy, man.
Come on, what you got going?
There's nothing there.
Hey, Otis, look out!
- Behind you!
- Watch out!
Watch out!
Look behind you.
Remember me?
I'm Ben's kid.
Never come back!
- Pip?
- I'd have to go with the iron, man.
Then I said
I was gonna hit him with a stick.
We know. We know.
I heard you say that.
Quite a night, huh?
We took down the coyotes,
Peck learned to crow,
and by the time we get back,
we'll have a new member
of the barnyard running around.
Daisy. She like went into labor
after you left.
- Daisy's...
- She's having her baby, dude.
What you think was gonna happen?
She would just keep getting
bigger or something?
- Is she all right? We've gotta get back.
- Yeah.
Doubtful we'll make it
back in time walking.
I'm sure she's gonna be all right, Otis.
Miles, I've got to be there.
Please remember, mister,
that I am a lady.
When you are with me,
your eyes are on me, not her.
We can call and tell them
where to pick them up.
Car!
Righteous!
Duke, what's happening?
Otis, come on. You know, I think...
I'm pretty sure... Yeah, it's time.
Boy.
Otis, I was so worried.
Worried about what?
I so had that covered.
It's okay, I'm here.
And I'm here for you, too.
Okay, girl, you're doing fine.
Now, just breathe.
Man, that looks like it hurts.
Oh, that's very profound, Insight-Man.
Well, excuse me for being a pig.
How come nothing's happened yet?
She's gonna be all right, though, huh?
Yeah, like, like...
What if it gets stuck or something?
What? You mean like stuck halfway,
so she'd be a cow and a half?
I didn't say "cow and a half."
Yes, you did. You just did.
- Hey, Duke, did I say "Cow and a half"?
- I'm not doing this.
No, look.
It's a beautiful little boy.
Go ahead.
He's perfect.
What are you gonna name him?
I was thinking I kind of like
Ben.
Oh, I think that's just great.
Hey, there, little Ben.
Hey, there, little buddy. Look at you.
Look at my little buddy.
Here you go.
Hey, Otis, we were all talking,
and we know you may have
other plans, we understand that,
but we really, really appreciate
what you did around here.
And, well, we were wondering,
I don't know,
if maybe you planned
on staying around a little longer?
Freedom is a song
Freedom is a spirit
To take another's hand
I'll just say this,
as long as I'm still kicking,
no animal will be harmed
inside that fence.
High paw!
Hey, all right.
Freedom is a song
Freedom is a spirit
For people who are strong
Freedom is a spirit
Freedom is a land
Freedom is the courage
To take another's hand
I, Nora Beady, am a precious object
and shall treat myself as such.
Gosh, I wonder why...
I forgot to use conditioner or...