Batman Forever (1995) Movie Script
[Metallic clanking]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Can I persuade you to take a sandwich?
I'll get drive-through.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Engine revs in acceleration]
[Batman Forever theme song plays]
[Crowd shouting]
[High-pitched screeching]
You're counting on the Winged Avenger
to deliver you from evil...
...aren't you, my friend?
[Chuckles softly]
Are you going to kill me?
Maybe, maybe not.
We're of two minds on the subject.
TWO-FACE: Are you a gambling man?
Let's say we flip for it?
TWO-FACE: One man is born a hero,
his brother a coward.
[Whispers] Babies starve,
politicians grow fat...
...holy men are martyred,
and junkies grow legion.
Why?
TWO-FACE: Why, why, why, why, why?
Luck!
[Shouts] Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah...
...clueless luck!
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: The random toss...
...is the only true justice.
Let's see what justice has in store...
...for you.
[Chuckles]
TWO-FACE: [Whispers]
It's like the touch of God.
Wait, wait, wait.
[Gasps]
Fortune smiles.
Another day of wine and roses.
In your case, beer and pizza.
TWO-FACE: Out of here, guys!
BANK GUARD: You said you'd let me live!
TWO-FACE: Too true!
TWO-FACE: And so you shall! Nothing's
better than live bait to trap a bat.
[Chaotic reactions from crowd]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Crowd shouting and talking excitedly]
Hot entrance.
Two-Face?
Two guards are dead.
He's holding a third hostage.
Didn't see this one coming.
CHASE: We should have.
The Second Bank of Gotham...
BATMAN: Second anniversary
of the day I captured him.
CHASE: How could he resist?
I'm Chase Meridian.
COMMISSIONER: I asked her to come here
to consult on the case. She specializes in...
Abnormal psychology,
multiple personalities. I read your work.
Insightful.
Naive, but insightful.
I'm flattered. Not every girl
makes a superhero's night table.
COMMISSIONER: Can we reason with him?
He's got innocent people up there.
CHASE: It won't do any good.
He'll slaughter them without a thought.
BATMAN: Agreed.
A trauma powerful enough to create
an alternate personality leaves one...
CHASE: In a world where normal rules
of right and wrong no longer apply.
Exactly.
CHASE: Like you.
I could write a hell of a paper on a man
who dresses like a flying rodent.
Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
Really? I didn't know that.
You are interesting.
[Propellers pelting overhead]
And call me Chase.
By the way, do you have a first name,
or do I call you Bats?
[Chaotic reactions from crowd]
[Dramatic instrumental beat, background]
Let's start this party with a bang!
[Thunderous crashing]
[Cackles]
[Bell rings]
Very punctual, even for his own funeral.
Boys!
TWO-FACE: Kill the Bat!
[Cackles]
[Cackles]
[Bell rings]
Blast him!
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Silence]
Open sesame.
[Metallic scraping]
[Two-Face grunts]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Fast-paced instrumental music,
background]
[Zap]
[Groaning]
[Wailing]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Huffing and puffing]
[Yelling]
[Muffled shouting]
Ouch!
BANK GUARD: It's a trap!
[Short, rapid gasps]
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
Oh, no!
[More distorted and echoing sound effects]
[Bank guard screams]
[Chaotic yelling and screaming from crowd]
[Instrumental music continues,
background]
TWO-FACE ON LOUDSPEAKER:
Attention citizens of fair Gotham!
[Cackles hysterically]
When we open that safe,
we'll have everything we ever wanted:
Enough cash to rain down upon
fair Gotham, a glorious flood of chaos.
And, of course...
... you, my boy, dead!
[Two-Face chuckles]
Oh, no!
BANK GUARD: It's boiling acid!
For your dying pleasure, we are serving
the acid that made us the men we are!
BANK GUARD: [Shrieks] No!
BATMAN: Hold on.
BANK GUARD: Yes!
[Cackles hysterically]
TWO-FACE: Haul away!
Yes! Haul away!
[Mechanical rattling]
BATMAN: Give me your hand.
BANK GUARD: [Cries] Don't let go!
Aah!
[Wailing]
BATMAN: I must borrow this.
[Shrieks] Hey!
BANK GUARD: That's my hearing aid!
Thanks.
BANK GUARD: Wow!
My shoes are melting!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
BANK GUARD: [Shrieks] No more!
[Two-Face screams]
[Hissing]
[Clank]
[Bank guard gasps]
Hang on.
[Gasps] Hang on?
[Hissing]
[Bank guard screaming]
[Loud, distorted rumbling]
[Coughs]
COMMISSIONER: Get him down.
Get him down.
Take it easy with him.
COMMISSIONER: You'll be all right.
Just stay calm.
[Zooming]
[Cackles] This'll fix him!
TWO-FACE: Hang on, Batty!
[Cackles hysterically]
[Cackles]
[Roaring explosion]
[Gasps] Let's see.
TWO-FACE: Yes!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Oh, happy day!
[Cackles]
Farewell forever to that...
...pointy-eared night rat!
PILOT: Face!
Hey, Face!
[Cackles]
[Screams] No!
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Bang, Two-Face grunts]
[Smash]
You need help. Give it up.
[Short, rapid gasps]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Cackles]
Have the good taste to die!
See you!
[Cackles hysterically]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Batman Forever theme song, background]
[Gasps]
NEWSCASTER: Despite a valiant effort
last night by Batman...
... Harvey Two-Face is still at large
and extremely dangerous.
In other news today...
... billionaire Bruce Wayne extended
his profit-sharing program...
... to the employees of the successful
electronics branch of Wayne Enterprises.
[Elevator bell rings]
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[Hiss]
STICKLEY: Mr. Wayne.
STICKLEY: Your inspections are
a departmental highlight.
[Gasps] Oh, my God, it's him.
I am a winner. I am a winner.
I am a winner.
I am a winner.
[Riddler doll chuckles]
Bioremediation. Alternative fuel.
Mr. Wayne, look at that time.
Perhaps we should get to R & D
as soon as possible.
Mister...?
Oh, Bruce Wayne.
No, that's my name. And you are?
[Gasps] Nygma.
Edward.
Edward Nygma. You hired me personally.
EDWARD: Just like I tell everyone.
We've never actually met, but your name
was on the hiring slip. I have it.
I need that hand back.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
It's just that...
[Whispers]... you're my idol.
Back to work.
And some people have been trying
to keep us apart.
Back to work.
BRUCE: It's okay.
What's on your mind?
Precisely.
What's on all our minds?
Brain waves.
[Giggles]
EDWARD: The future...
...of Wayne Enterprises...
...is brain waves.
STICKLEY: I must apologize, Mr. Wayne.
- I terminated his project today.
- It's okay.
EDWARD: I have it!
[Rattling]
Voil!
[Gasps excitedly]
My invention...
...beams any TV signal directly
into the human brain.
By stimulating neurons,
manipulating brain waves...
EDWARD: this device makes the audience
feel like they're inside the show.
Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
Did you say "manipulating brain waves"?
[Pants]
Yes.
EDWARD: But...
... someone like you would never need it.
Someone so...
... intelligent, witty and...
[Sirens blaring in distance]
... charming.
I need a bit of additional funding
for human trials. Let me show you, please!
BRUCE: Now, listen...
...I want a full set of technical schematics
on this, okay?
We'll be full partners in this, Bruce.
Look at us! Two of a kind!
You call my assistant, Margaret.
She'll set something up.
Uh...
That's not...
...going to be good for me.
EDWARD: I need an answer now.
[Softly] I think I deserve it.
BRUCE: I'm sorry, then the answer is no.
Tampering with people's brain waves...
...mind manipulation...
...it just raises too many questions.
Sorry.
BRUCE: Thanks, keep up the good work.
The factory looks great.
STICKLEY: All right, everyone!
Back to work!
We'll discuss this later!
[Sobs] You were supposed to understand.
I'll make you understand.
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Lock.
BRUCE: Chair.
[Zooming]
Alfred.
ALFRED: I saw the signal.
All is ready.
[Crackling]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Batmobile engine roars]
Commissioner?
CHASE: He's at home.
I sent the signal.
What's wrong?
Last night at the bank I noticed
something about Two-Face:
CHASE: His coin.
It's his Achilles' heel.
It can be exploited.
BATMAN: I know.
You called me for this?
The Batsignal is not a beeper.
I wish I could say that my interest
in you was...
...purely professional.
Are you trying to get under my cape?
[Chase snickers]
A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
It's the car, right? Chicks love it.
[Giggles]
What is it about the wrong kind of man?
In grade school: guys with earrings.
College: motorcycles, leather jackets.
Now...
[Chase moans]
...black rubber.
Try a fireman. Less to take off.
I don't mind the work.
Pity I can't see behind the mask.
BATMAN: We all wear masks.
My life's an open book. You read?
I don't blend in at a family picnic.
CHASE: We could give it a try. I'll bring
the wine...
...you bring your scarred psyche.
Direct, aren't you?
CHASE: You like strong women.
I've done my homework.
Or do I need skintight vinyl and a whip?
I haven't had much luck with women.
Maybe you just haven't met
the right woman.
[Door opens]
[Footsteps]
I saw the signal.
COMMISSIONER: What's going on?
BATMAN: Nothing.
False alarm.
Are you sure?
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Women.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Crackling]
[Edward gasps excitedly]
EDWARD: Now I've got it!
Ha!
"Too many questions.
There's too many questions.
[Whiny voice] "Too many..."
[Sarcastic tittering]
I'll show you it works!
STICKLEY: [Yells]
What the hell is going on here?
I told you this project is terminated!
I'm calling Security!
[Thud]
[Shouts] Caffeine will kill you!
[Ding]
EDWARD: [Whispers]
Rise and shine, little guinea pig.
What are you doing?
Untie me!
EDWARD: This won't hurt.
At least, I don't think it will.
STICKLEY: What are you doing?
You touch that switch and...
This?
[High-pitched zoom]
[Sighs]
[Edward laughs softly]
[Electronic sound effects]
EDWARD: Losing resolution.
More power!
[Zap]
[Stickley screams]
[Both scream]
[Voice vibrates]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Both speak gibberish extremely quickly]
[Sighs exaggeratedly]
[Shouts] Edward Nygma...
...come on down!
You're the next contestant on...
...Brain Drain!
[Imitates voices of talk-show host
and contestant]
I'll take what's inside
thick skull number one!
EDWARD: What have we got for him?
[Goofy chuckling]
Oh, Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough!
And a breakdown? Maybe!
Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius.
No, several geniuses.
A gaggle, a swarm...
...a flock of freaking Freuds!
Riddle me this, Fred.
EDWARD: What is everything to someone...
... and nothing to everyone else?
[Shouts] Your mind, baby!
Now mine pumps with the power of yours!
[Sings]
"I'm sucking up your IQ
"Vacuuming your cortex
"Feeding off your brain"
[Electronic musical rhythm]
[Shrieks] Fred!
[Zapping sounds]
[Edward clucks]
[Edward grunts]
[Edward gasps]
What a rush!
What the hell just happened?
[Sighs]
A very surprising side effect.
While you were mesmerized
by my 3-D TV...
...I utilized your neural energy
to grow smarter.
Bruce Wayne was right!
STICKLEY: You demented, bizarre,
unethical toad!
It is brain manipulation!
STICKLEY: I'm reporting you to the FCC!
EDWARD: Oh!
STICKLEY: The human
experimentation board! The AMI!
- And the police!
- Eee!
STICKLEY: You are going up on charges...
...to court, to jail...
[Edward hums]
...and then to a mental institution
for the rest of your life!
But, first and foremost,
Nygma, you are fired!
[Yells] Do you hear me? Fired!
Ooohh...
I don't think so.
[Edward grunts]
[Stickley screams]
[Screams]
[Crash]
STICKLEY: Help!
Whoa!
[Sobbing]
[Roaring vibrations]
EDWARD: [Shrieks] Hang on!
[Both gasping]
Babe!
You are fired!
EDWARD: Or should I say...
...terminated?
[Stickley's screaming echoes]
[Yells] Surf's up, Big Kahuna!
[Crash]
Oohhh!
Nice form, but rough on the landing.
He may have to settle for the Bronze.
[Cackles hysterically]
"Questions," Mr. Wayne?
My work raises too many questions?
Why hasn't anybody...
[Whispers] ... put you in your place?
NEWSCASTER: Harvey Dent,
once Gotham's District Attorney...
... was horribly scarred
by underworld kingpin, Boss Moroni.
Although Batman tried to save him...
... Dent's left-brain damage
turned him into a violent criminal...
... who blamed Batman
and who has vowed to destroy him.
[Alfred talks on phone]
Harvey Two-Face is extremely dangerous,
repeat, extremely dangerous.
That was the Commissioner.
There's been an accident
at Wayne Enterprises.
BRUCE: Horrible way to die.
The surveillance cameras are down here.
We'll dredge the river, but with
that current, I doubt we'll find the body.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
Why?
Oh, why?
[Sobs]
I just can't believe it.
Two years working in the same office.
He was like my father...
...my brother...
...or a cousin that visits a lot.
[Sobs]
Get a grip, Edward.
I found this in my cubicle.
You'll find the handwriting matches his,
as does the sentence structure.
I couldn't possibly continue on here.
[Gasps] The memories...
BRUCE: This is last night's security log.
There's Stickley.
[Stickley laughing]
[Crash]
Pretty cut and dry.
Yes, definitely suicide.
Thanks very much for your help, Bruce.
We'll be in touch.
BRUCE: Stickley's suicide doesn't make
sense. I want full benefits for his family.
Suicide's not covered
by our corporate insurance policy.
I know. Full benefits.
Gossip Gerty called 32 times.
Who are you taking to the Charity Circus?
BRUCE: I'll let you know. What's this?
I don't know.
I didn't see anyone.
BRUCE: "If you look at the numbers
on my face...
"...you won't find 13 anyplace."
That's hideous.
MARGARET: What does it mean?
It's a riddle.
"Numbers on my face... 13."
One through twelve.
The answer is a clock.
Who would send you a riddle?
That, Maggie...
...is the riddle.
[Pop song begins]
"You're sort of stuck where you are
"Where in your dreams
"You can buy expensive cars
"Or live on Mars
"And have it your way"
[Riddler doll chuckles]
"You hate your boss at your job"
Guess what I did today?
"But in your dreams
"You can blow his head off
"In your dreams
"Show no mercy"
[Riddler doll chuckles]
[Motorcycle engine revs]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
EDWARD: Wayne Manor.
Humph!
See you soon.
[Ambient traffic sounds]
[Dramatic instrumental music continues,
background]
BRUCE: Dr. Meridian, please. Thank you.
[Chase gasping and groaning]
[Rattling]
[Chase gasps]
[Chase breathes heavily]
[Stutters] I... guess I'm early.
I have an appointment.
I'm Bruce Wayne.
Good.
Then you can afford to buy me a new door.
I'm sorry.
BRUCE: You... sounded like you were in...
...you know, trouble.
I prefer healthy expressions of violence
as opposed to breaking in.
CHASE: So...
...how can I help you?
Someone's been sending me love letters.
One at my office and one at my home.
Commissioner Gordon thought
you might give me your opinion.
A clock.
Clock.
CHASE: "Tear one off and scratch my head.
"What once was red is black instead."
A match.
My opinion: this letter writer is a wacko.
"Wacko?"
Is that a technical term?
Patient may suffer from obsession...
...with potential homicidal tendencies.
Is that better for you?
So, what you're saying is...
...this guy's a total wacko.
CHASE: Exactly.
He's obsessed with you.
His only escape may be
to purge the fixation.
To kill me.
I think you understand obsession
better than you let on.
[Batman Forever theme song plays softly,
background]
You like bats?
CHASE: That's a Rorschach, Mr. Wayne.
An inkblot.
People see what they want.
CHASE: The question is: do you like bats?
Still playing with dolls?
CHASE: She's a Malaysian dream warden.
Some cultures believe she protects you
from bad dreams.
CHASE: It's silly to you, I'm sure.
You look so sad.
Do you need one?
Me? No. Why would I?
CHASE: You're not exactly what you seem,
are you?
What is it you really came here for?
Yikes, time's up.
That's usually my line.
BRUCE: I'd love to stay here chatting...
Would you?
I'm not so sure.
I must get you out of those clothes.
Excuse me?
BRUCE: And into a black dress.
Tell me, Doctor, do you like the circus?
[Trumpets blare and drums pound
dramatic circus music]
RINGMASTER: Ladies and gentlemen...
... boys and girls of all ages...
... welcome to the greatest show on earth!
GOSSIP GERTY: Who is this beautiful
young woman you're with?
BRUCE: Dr. Chase Meridian.
GOSSIP GERTY: A doctor?
What kind of doctor?
RINGMASTER ON TV:
... for Gotham Children's Hospital.
Let's thank our largest single donor:
Bruce Wayne!
[Applause on TV]
RINGMASTER ON TV:
Ladies and gentlemen...
... 70 feet above the ground...
... performing feats
of unimaginable aerial skill...
... the Flying Graysons!
[Dramatic circus music
with rhythmic drumbeat]
[Thunderous applause]
[Applause and cheering continue]
[Cries of astonishment from audience]
[Applause and cheering]
Listen...
...I'm going rock climbing this weekend.
Would you like to join me?
Um...
...I'd like to.
I love climbing. I really love it.
But?
I've met someone.
That's fast work. You just moved here.
You could say he just...
...dropped out of the sky and...
...bang!
I think he felt it too.
He sure did.
What?
Who wouldn't?
RINGMASTER: Now...
... Richard...
... the youngest Flying Grayson...
[Applause]
... will perform the awe-inspiring...
... death drop...
CROWD: Whoa!
RINGMASTER: ... without the safety...
... of a net!
[Applause]
DAD GRAYSON: Let's go.
MOM GRAYSON: You'll be okay.
[Cries of astonishment from audience]
[Groaning]
[Applause and cheering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
TWO-FACE: Ladies...
... and gentlemen!
Now, the new management
of the circus invites you to forget...
... this good, wholesome fun...
... and join us in a celebration
of absolute chaos...
... and true jesters!
Bring it on!
Now!
[Yelling and screaming from audience]
[Eerie cackling on TV]
[Laughs excitedly]
Tonight, a new act for your...
... personal amazement.
We call it, "Massacre under the Big Top."
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: Let us direct your attention
to the ring.
Inside this harmless-looking orb are two...
... that's two hundred sticks of TNT.
And in our innocent hand...
... a radio detonator.
MAYOR: What do you want?
Want, Mr. Mayor?
TWO-FACE: One simple thing: Batman.
Bruised, broken, bleeding...
[Yells] ... in a word: dead!
[Laughs hysterically]
Batman.
TWO-FACE: Who do we have before us?
[Whispers] Gotham's finest...
... well-to-do...
... influential.
Surely one of you knows who Batman is.
Hell, odds are one of you pasty-faced twits
is Batman!
[Screams from audience]
You have two minutes.
[Ticking]
[Shouts] Harvey!
I'm Batman!
[Chaotic yelling and screaming]
Bruce!
[Hooting and hollering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Chaotic yelling continues]
[Grunting]
We can stop them.
DAD GRAYSON: Go out on the rigging.
Be careful.
Don't worry.
[Grunting and groaning]
[Dramatic instrumental music continues,
background]
[Screams from audience]
TWO-FACE: Go to work, boys!
[Cackles]
[Ticking]
[Laughs]
Our kind of day.
MOM GRAYSON: Reach for it! Stop it!
[Grunting and groaning]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
Oh, my God.
[Screaming]
[Ticking]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Two-Face laughs]
[Shrieks]
[Ticking]
[Grunts]
[Explosion]
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
[Sobs]
It's good you took him in.
He hasn't anyone now.
He's filled out papers all day.
He hasn't slept or eaten.
ALFRED: Welcome, Master Grayson.
I'm Alfred.
How're you doing, Al?
BRUCE: There's a room prepared for you.
But perhaps you'd like to eat first.
Okay, I'm out of here.
Excuse me?
Telling that cop I'd stay here...
...saved me a lot
of social-service interviews.
So, no offense, but no thanks. See you.
DICK: Take it easy.
BRUCE: Where will you go?
The circus must be halfway to Metropolis.
DICK: Get a fix on Two-Face.
Then I'll kill him.
Killing Two-Face won't take the pain away.
BRUCE: It'll make it worse.
Spare me the sermons, all right?
DICK: I don't need your advice
or your charity.
[Motorcycle engine revs]
Nice bike.
Hang out at a lot of biker bars?
You're almost on empty.
Fill it up in the garage.
There's no gas station for miles.
BRUCE: The pump's over here.
DICK: Is this a garage or a car museum,
Bruce?
DICK: Wow!
DICK: That's a 1917 Harley.
BRUCE: Yep.
DICK: Indian Classic, fully restored.
This is a Vincent Black Knight.
They only made a hundred.
A hundred and one, actually.
She's my favorite.
You've got two.
That one doesn't run.
BRUCE: The throttle sticks on this one.
Alfred's a good mechanic, but...
... these need a lot of work.
If someone were to fix them up...
...they could keep one.
BRUCE: Anyway...
...have a nice trip.
You'll land on your feet.
Is the young master leaving?
Pity.
I'll just toss this away then.
Perhaps the dogs are hungry.
Hey, Al, wait up.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
[Faint sound of voices]
[Distorted sound of gunshot]
[Distorted sound of gunshot]
[Thunder rumbles]
[Priest reciting prayers]
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
ALFRED: Master Bruce?
Master Bruce?
Just like my parents.
It's happening again.
A monster comes out of the night,
a scream, two shots.
I killed them.
What did you say?
He killed them.
Two-Face.
He slaughtered that boy's parents.
ALFRED: No, no.
You said, "I killed them."
[Sirens blaring in distance]
Take care of the kid.
Certainly, sir.
[Footsteps]
ALFRED: Can I help you settle in,
Master Grayson?
DICK: No.
Thanks, I won't be staying long.
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
Is this a robin?
My brother's wire broke once
and I swung out and grabbed him.
DICK: My father said I was his hero.
I flew in like a robin.
Some hero I turned out to be.
But your father was right.
You are a hero. I can tell.
Throw this away, will you?
I won't need it anymore.
ALFRED: I think I'll just put it in here.
Broken wings mend in time.
One day Robin will fly again.
I promise.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Engines accelerate]
[Thug cackles]
[Carriage rattles]
[Cackles]
[Beep]
[Explosive blast]
[Shrieking]
[Roaring explosion]
[Moans]
[Tires squealing]
[Fast-paced instrumental rhythm,
background]
[Two-Face groans]
TWO-FACE: We'll drive.
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Cackles]
[Tires squealing]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Cackles]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Fast-paced instrumental rhythm
continues, background]
[Mechanical clanking]
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Explosion]
[Gasps]
[Music climaxes]
[Two-Face wails]
[Electronic beeping]
The Puzzler?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
[Electronic beeping]
The Gamester?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
Captain Kill?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
EDWARD: Question Mark Man?
[Electronic beeping]
EDWARD: No, no, no!
[High-pitched ringing]
[Sighs]
[Riddler doll chuckles]
[High-pitched ringing]
Thank you. Thank you so much.
[Giggling]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Sirens blaring]
The Bat's stubborn refusal to expire...
...is driving us insane!
Don't worry, baby.
[Spice giggles]
You'll kill him soon.
Besides...
...I made your favorite:
Sparkling champagne and...
...yummy poached salmon
with little quail eggs and...
[Two-Face moans]
...a creamy...
...dreamy...
...lemon souffl.
No, I made your favorite:
A charred heart of black boar...
...a side of raw donkey meat...
...and a Sterno and grain alcohol,
straight up, baby!
[AII laugh]
TWO-FACE: Perfect!
Ladies, you spoil us!
We're of two minds about what to eat first.
[Ding]
What?
RIDDLER: I hope you made extra.
TWO-FACE: Who the hell are you?
Just a friend.
But you can call me...
...The Riddler.
[Riddler chuckles]
I'll call you dead, is more like it!
How did you find us? Talk!
But then if I talked, what would keep you
from slaying me, O Segregated One?
That's never going to heal
if you don't stop picking.
Let's see if you bleed green.
Harvey!
[Spice giggles]
It's not me you want to kill.
That's just too easy for someone
as powerful as you and...
...you.
But Batman...
[Gasps]
[Whispers]... there's a challenge.
Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea.
But have you thought it through? A few
bullets, a splash of blood, then what?
Wet hands.
Post-homicidal depression.
[Whimpers]
Why not humiliate him first?
Yeah.
RIDDLER: Expose his frailties.
Then, when he is at his weakest...
[Shouts]... crush him!
I see that...
...sparkle in your left eye.
[Two-Face chuckles]
[Whispers] I can help you get Batman.
That is, if you'II...
...spare my life for just a few moments.
[Two-Face grunts]
[Sighs]
Thank you.
I love what you've done with this place.
Heavy Metal meets House and Garden.
Beautiful.
It's so dark and Gothic and...
...disgustingly decadent.
[Riddler snarls]
RIDDLER: Yet so bright and chipper and...
...conservative.
[Whistles]
RIDDLER: It's so you!
[Sings] And yet, so you!
[Chuckles]
Very few people are both a summer
and a winter, but...
...but you pull it off nicely.
[Gunshot]
What's the point?
[Shouts] Has anyone ever told you, you
have a serious impulse-control problem?
[Gun clicks]
This is the point.
[Electronic scanning sounds]
[Fast-paced instrumental beat, background]
This is how I found you.
Let me demonstrate.
[Zap]
[Gasping]
This is your brain on The Box.
This is my brain on The Box.
[Shrieks] Does anyone else feel
like a fried egg?
I'll have more.
[Pop]
There's more. But only the first one's free.
Here's the bargain:
You'll help me steal production capital...
...so I can put a Box on every TV in town...
...and become Gotham's cleverest,
carbon-based life form!
And in return...
Is everybody paying attention?
[Whispers] I will help you solve
the greatest riddle of all.
The mother of all riddles:
Who is...
...Batman?
You broke into our hideout.
You violated the sanctity of our lair.
We should crush your bones into powder.
But you pose an interesting proposition.
Therefore, heads: we accept,
and tails: we blow your damn head off.
[People yelling and chattering excitedly]
[Two-Face laughs hysterically]
Here's a good one.
TWO-FACE: No, no, no!
There is a good one.
- Leave that. I'll attend to it.
- I'm not used to being waited on.
[Gasps] Don't shoot me!
THUG: Don't eyeball me! Give me that!
[Yelling and fighting]
RIDDLER: Two-Face, show me how
to punch a guy!
It's dead simple, my boy.
Ball up your fist, reach back...
...and assert yourself.
That looks fun. Let me try.
Ball up the fist, reach way back...
assert yourself.
Ow!
[Fast-paced instrumental beat continues,
background]
RIDDLER: One hundred thousand,
two hundred and twenty.
One hundred and...
[Shouts] I lost count!
[Giggles excitedly]
FEMALE NEWSCASTER ON TV:
Last night another robbery...
... perpetrated by
the Green-Suited Menace...
... resulting in millions in diamonds stolen,
with no sign of Batman.
MALE NEWSCASTER: Teamed with
Two-Face, this new criminal's pattern...
... of marking his crimes with puzzles
has Gothamites calling him The Riddler.
Apparently, you and Batman
have a common enemy.
That was with the morning mail.
ALFRED: "The eight of us go forth,
not back.
"To protect our king from the foe's attack."
Chess pawns.
Clock.
Matches.
All physical, man-made objects.
ALFRED: Small in size, light in weight.
What's the connection?
ALFRED: With all due respect,
that's why they call him The Riddler.
[Rattling and grunting]
ALFRED: May I help you?
Why is this the only locked door?
What's back there?
Master Wayne's dead wives.
The silver closet. On your way.
EDWARD: Now, you can be part
of the action!
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
Nygma Tech brings the joy
of 3-D entertainment into your home!
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you...
... my vision.
The Box in every home in America...
... and one day, the world!
[Crowd shouting]
FEMALE NEWSCASTER ON TV:
In local news, Edward Nygma's 3-D Box...
... has become the rage of Gotham.
Rioting occurred last night
at electronic stores that were sold out.
There is hardly a home
without the Nygma Tech Box.
Critics claim The Box turns Gothamites
into zombies.
But Edward Nygma just shrugs.
"That's what they said
when TV was invented. "
[Zapping and popping sounds]
[Eerie instrumental music, background]
[Riddler chuckles and gasps]
ALFRED: Master Dick!
DICK: Up here.
Just checking, young sir.
Now!
[Yelling]
[Clanking]
[Groaning]
LOUDSPEAKER:
Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
CHASE: I have something for you.
It's on the table.
I hope you like it.
Call it clinical intuition.
I thought your dreams needed changing.
My parents were murdered before me...
...when I was a kid.
I don't...
...remember a lot of what happened, but...
...what I do comes to me in my dreams.
Flashes.
There's a new element now, though,
I haven't seen before.
It's a red leather book.
Something else...
BRUCE: My dreams come to me
when I'm awake now.
Bruce, you're describing
repressed memories.
CHASE: Images of a forgotten pain
that's trying to surface.
[Tea-kettle hisses]
I'll be right back.
Is it possible there's an aspect
of your parents' death you haven't faced?
You were so young when it happened.
Maybe I should leave you two alone.
BRUCE: This goes way beyond taking
your work home, doesn't it?
CHASE: All right.
I think he's fascinating.
Clinically.
Why does a man do this?
It's as if he's cursed to pay a penance.
What crime could he have committed
to deserve a life of nightly torture?
It's more than just...
...professional interest, isn't it, Chase?
Bruce, are you jealous?
BRUCE: No.
I can't be jealous of Batman.
I want to be close,
but you won't let me near.
What are you protecting me from?
BRUCE: Do you want to know me?
Do you want to know who I am?
I guess...
...we're all two people.
BRUCE: The one in daylight,
and the one we keep in shadow.
Rage...
...violence...
...passion.
[Wristwatch beeps]
Excuse me.
I'm busy.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I have some distressing news about Dick.
Is he okay?
I'm afraid Master Dick has gone traveling.
BRUCE: He ran away?
ALFRED: Actually, he took the car.
He boosted the Jag?
Not the Jaguar.
The other car.
The Bentley?
ALFRED: No, sir.
The other car.
[Rock music blares, background]
[Tires squeal]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Crowd jeering and taunting]
[Rock music continues]
[Jeering and taunting continue]
Come for a little ride
in my love machine, babies?
[Hollering]
It's Batman!
WOMAN 1: Open up, Batman.
WOMAN 1: Wait!
That's not Batman!
What do you mean?
WOMAN 2: That's Batboy!
[AII laugh]
It ain't the Bat!
[Girl screams]
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Chaotic hollering]
DICK: Hey!
Let her go!
[Crowd snickers and groans sarcastically]
[Girl gasps and sobs]
Who the hell are you?
I'm Batman.
[Hysterical laughter]
I forgot my suit, all right?
[Grunting and groaning]
[Crazy Eddie grunts]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Girl gasps]
Come on, run!
Doesn't Batman ever kiss the girl?
DICK: Go!
GIRL: Thanks, you saved my life!
I could definitely get
into this superhero gig.
[Whistles]
[Riotous yelling]
CRAZY EDDIE: Batman!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Bastard!
DICK: It should've been you!
[Gasps] If you had told Two-Face
who you were at the circus...
...they'd still be alive!
If Bruce Wayne could've given his life
for your family, he would have.
[Dick gasps]
DICK: All I can think about every day
is getting Two-Face.
He took my whole life.
When I was out there tonight...
...I imagined it was him I was fighting...
...even when I was fighting you...
...and the pain went away.
Do you understand?
BRUCE: Yes, I do.
Good.
You must help me find him.
DICK: When we do...
... I'm the one who kills him.
So, you're willing to take a life?
DICK: As long as it's Two-Face.
BRUCE: Then it will happen this way:
You make the kill.
But your pain doesn't die with Harvey,
it grows.
So you run into the night
to find another face, and another...
... and another...
... until one terrible morning
you wake up and realize...
...that revenge has become
your whole life...
...and you won't know why.
You can't understand.
Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Yes, they were.
BRUCE: We're the same.
If we're the same, help me.
Train me, let me be your partner.
No.
I can't.
BRUCE: You still have a choice.
Look, Bruce...
...I'm a part of this, whether you like it
or not.
[Lounge music plays, background]
[Scattered conversations]
NEWSCASTER: Tonight
all of Gotham society has turned out...
... for Edward Nygma's gala unveiling
of his New Improved Box.
Thanks, Al.
My pleasure, sir.
NEWSCASTER: They'll be dining
and dancing the night away...
... on the glamorous roof
of the Ritz Gotham.
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
REPORTER 1: What's it like to have
your face on the cover of every magazine?
GOSSIP GERTY: How does it feel to be
the city's newest, most-eligible bachelor?
Gotham must know!
There's Bruce Wayne!
GOSSIP GERTY: Brucie!
SUGAR: Oh, Eddie, he is too cute!
How come you don't look so good
in that suit?
Shut up. You're here to work!
How's my mole?
Fine.
REPORTER 2: What about rumors
of a Nygma Tech takeover...
...of Wayne Enterprises?
GOSSIP GERTY: Nygma Tech stock is
outselling Wayne Enterprises two to one.
Are you yesterday's news, Bruce?
EDWARD: Yes, yes, yes...
Bruce, old man.
The press wonders what it's like
to be outsold, outclassed, out-coifed and...
...generally outdone in every way.
Hello, Edward. Congratulations.
Great party. Nice suit.
Wit. Good.
EDWARD: And you are?
Chase.
And what a grand pursuit you must be.
I'm Bruce Wayne, Miss...?
[Giggles]
You can call me anything you want.
EDWARD: Ladies and gentlemen...
...the future!
My New Improved Box offers
fully-interactive holographic fantasies.
[Crowd gasps in astonishment]
Edward, you're dashing and a genius.
How do you create these images, hon?
That, my dear, is my little secret.
[Applause and cheering]
Fully-interactive holographs.
BRUCE: Only a high-frequency
carrier wave, beamed into the brain...
...could create such images.
And you wish you thought of it.
EDWARD: Don't be a sore loser.
Step inside. Give it a try.
If you can introduce images into the mind,
what stops you from...
...extracting images out of the mind?
Oh...
Too timid to try my machine? Just say so.
Shall we dance?
[Waltz melody plays]
SUGAR: Naughty, naughty.
Looking for something?
I was just wondering how you turn it off.
Clever.
Thanks.
My pleasure.
[Scattered conversations]
[Ding]
[Zap]
COMPUTER: Good evening, Mr. Wayne.
Relax.
[Computer speaks in a slow,
hypnotic voice]
Tell me your...
... dreams.
Tell me...
... your fantasies.
Tell me your secrets.
Tell me...
... your deepest...
... darkest...
... fears.
[Chaotic yelling]
[Gunshots]
[Smashing]
No, no, no!
[Screaming]
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: Relax, folks!
It's only an old-fashioned, low-tech stickup!
We're interested in the basics:
Cash, jewelry, cellular telephones.
[Chaotic screaming]
Hand them over nice and quietly,
and no one will be hurt!
Emergency, Alfred.
ALFRED: Yes, sir.
EDWARD: Be calm, everybody!
Just stay calm!
Excuse me!
EDWARD: You're ruining my big party!
Are you insane?
[Gulps]
We're sick of waiting for you
to deliver Batman.
Patience, O Bifurcated One.
[Yells] Patience, hell! We want him dead!
And nothing brings out the Batman
like a little murder and mayhem!
[Giggles]
You could have let me in on the caper.
We could have organized it, planned it,
pre-sold the movie rights!
Ha!
[Crash]
Batman!
Your entrance was good, his was better.
[Grunting and groaning]
The difference?
Showmanship!
[Grunting and groaning]
[Chaotic yelling]
DICK: Emergency, Alfred.
ALFRED: Oh, sir...
I could be fired for this.
Perhaps they'll have me back
at Buckingham Palace.
[Chaotic yelling and screaming,
grunting and groaning]
All right, boys! Phase Two!
My place, midnight.
[Cackles]
[Cackles]
[Gunshots]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Two-Face cackles]
[Two-Face cackles]
[Hissing]
Nothing like a bad case of gas!
[Gunshot]
[Flames roaring]
[Two-Face cackling]
[Hooting and hollering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Shrieks] Why can't you just die?
[Repeated machine-gun blasts]
[Thunderous crashing]
[Cackles]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Hi.
[Dick breathes heavily]
What were you doing?
You got a real gratitude problem,
you know that?
I need a name. Batboy? Knight Wing?
What's a good sidekick name?
"Dick Grayson, college student."
DICK: Screw you!
I saved your life. You owe me.
You're going to get yourself killed.
I'm your new partner.
No!
Whenever you go out at night, I'll be
watching. Where Batman goes, I'll go.
How will you stop me?
I can stop you.
Al...
Hang this next to the Batsuit...
...where it belongs.
BRUCE: You're encouraging him.
Young men with a mind for revenge
need little encouragement.
They need guidance.
ALFRED: You, above all, should know
the consequences of the life you choose.
Even Chase calls being Batman a curse.
ALFRED: Perhaps the lady is just
what the doctor ordered.
She seems lovely and wise.
BRUCE: I've never been in love before.
Go to her.
Tell her how you feel.
She wants Batman, not Bruce Wayne.
Let her decide.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
[Chase gasps]
CHASE: I'm sorry.
I can't believe this.
I've imagined this moment
since I first saw you.
Your eyes...
...your lips...
...your body.
CHASE: Now I have you and...
...I'm wishing you were somebody else.
[Sighs]
I guess a girl has to grow up sometime.
CHASE: I've met someone.
He's not you.
I hope you can understand.
I understand.
Well...
[Zoom]
[Two-Face wails]
That's just what I said.
Then I taught my doggie a new trick:
How to map the human mind.
Would you like to see
what Bruce Wayne has in his head?
[Hollers]
Riddle me this:
What kind of man...
...has bats on the brain?
[Two-Face howls and cackles]
- Go ahead. You can say it.
- You're a genius.
Oh, stop.
[Both giggle]
BRUCE: So, from this day on...
...Batman is no more.
DICK: You can't just quit.
There's monsters out there.
Batman has to protect the innocent.
BRUCE: I've dedicated my life to helping
strangers I've never met.
Faces I've never seen.
BRUCE: Well...
...the innocent aren't faceless anymore.
You can't tell me what to do
with the rest of my life.
My dad told me that every man goes
his own way.
DICK: My way goes to Two-Face.
You must help me.
BRUCE: And if you do find Harvey...
...and then you kill him...
...what next?
[Dick sighs]
BRUCE: Exactly.
Then you'd be alone, like me.
BRUCE: No, you must let this go.
Listen to me, I'm your friend.
DICK: I don't need a friend,
I need a partner.
Two-Face has got to pay.
Please.
Chase is coming for dinner.
I'm going to tell her...
...everything.
Come upstairs. We'll talk.
[Dramatic instrumental beat, background]
ALFRED: Good evening.
CHASE: Good evening.
ALFRED: Happy Halloween.
CHASE: Happy Halloween to you.
[Rat squeaks]
I asked you here tonight because
there's something I wanted to tell you.
I wanted to tell you something too.
BRUCE: What I wanted...
[Both laugh]
BRUCE: Go ahead, you first.
Trick or treat!
[Giggling]
All my life I have been...
...attracted to a certain kind of man.
The wrong kind.
CHASE: Look at what I do for a living.
And since...
...since I met you, I...
Oh, God.
Why am I so nervous?
[Clanking]
CHASE: [Gasps] Oh!
[Gunshot echoes]
Don't eat too much tonight
or you'll be sick in your beds.
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[Children giggle and talk excitedly]
[Two-Face cackles]
Happy Halloween!
[Thunder rumbles]
What's wrong?
BRUCE: It's happening again.
Flashes.
My parents' death.
Your memories are trying
to break through.
BRUCE: I want to tell you something.
Something I've never told anyone.
CHASE: It's all right.
It's all right. I'm here.
CHASE: [Voice echoing] I'm here.
[Priest reciting prayers]
BRUCE: The night of my parents' wake...
... the priest's words gave no comfort.
Of course.
There, on my father's desk...
... the red book.
His journal.
He'd written in it every day.
But now he'd never write in it again.
At that moment I knew...
... my life would never be the same.
I raced out into the storm...
... trying to outrun the rage.
The pain.
Then I fell.
I fell forever.
The cave was monstrous.
It must have been there for centuries.
And there...
... deep in the shadows...
... I saw...
It was coming toward me.
I was scared at first, but only at first.
The figure in the dark was my destiny.
It would change my life forever.
I would use its image to strike terror
into the hearts of those who did evil.
I would ensure what happened to me
would never happen to anyone else.
I would have my revenge.
CHASE: What are you trying to tell me?
BRUCE: I'm...
Twick or tweet!
[Bang]
[Crash]
Trick.
[Whispers] Remember the plan?
Seize and capture.
No killing.
That goes double for you.
[Thugs chuckle]
RIDDLER: If I was a superhero...
...where would I hide?
[Whispers] Spank me.
[Chaotic yelling,
dramatic instrumental beat, background]
LOUDSPEAKER:
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
RIDDLER: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
[Yells] Shut up!
Now, that's impressive!
[Ding]
[Chase screams]
[Fast-paced instrumental music,
background]
It's always risky introducing
a tamed animal into the wild.
[Ticking]
[Bounce]
[Explosion]
[Riddler hums and giggles]
They may have trouble adapting
to their new environment.
[Bounce]
[Explosion]
[Groaning and yelling]
[Sighs]
[Snickering]
[Explosion]
[Electronic organ rhythm
as in a baseball game]
[Explosion]
[Grunts] Yeah!
[Ding]
[Groaning and shouting]
Somebody tell the fat lady...
...she's on in five.
[Electronic squeaking]
[Riddler giggles]
[Explosion]
[Laughs hysterically]
[Shouts] "Joygasm!"
[Chaotic yelling]
[Cackles]
[Gunshot]
[Chase screams]
TWO-FACE: Get the girl!
[Shrieks] No!
Don't kill him.
If you kill him...
...he won't learn nothing.
[Two-Face cackles]
[Riddler cackles]
[Running footsteps]
[Chase screams]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
ALFRED: [Voice echoing] Master Bruce!
How are you, young man?
You haven't called me that for a long time.
Old habits die hard.
Are you all right?
Where's Chase?
ALFRED: I'm afraid they've taken her.
Master Dick has run away.
The cave has been destroyed.
ALFRED: And there's another riddle.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Chase groans]
RIDDLER: I'm coming, my sweet.
RIDDLER: Like the jacket?
It keeps me safe when I'm...
...jogging at night.
Batman will come for me.
Batman?
[With British accent] Batman, you say?
Coming for you?
[Hollers]
I'm...
[Shrieks]... counting on it.
COMMISSIONER: What is that?
Where's it coming from?
There!
OFFICER: Who's doing that?
COMMISSIONER: The Riddler!
BRUCE: "We're five little items
of an everyday sort.
"You'll find us all in a tennis court."
BRUCE: In...
A-E-l-O-U.
Vowels.
Not entirely unclever, sir.
But what do a clock, a match,
chess pawns...
...and vowels have in common?
What do these riddles mean?
BRUCE: Every riddle contains a number
and they arrived in this order:
13, 1, 8...
... and 5.
ALFRED: 13, 1, 8 and 5.
Meaning?
BRUCE: Letters of the alphabet?
Of course, 13 is M.
BRUCE: 1 would be A, 8 would be H
and 5 would be E.
ALFRED: M-A-H-E.
BRUCE: Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
M-R-E.
How about...
..."Mr. E"?
ALFRED: Mystery?
BRUCE: Another name for mystery?
Enigma.
Mr. E. Nygma.
Edward Nygma.
BRUCE: Stickley's suicide was obviously
a computer-generated forgery.
ALFRED: You really are quite bright,
despite what people say.
BRUCE: Are all the Batsuits destroyed?
All except the prototype with the sonar
modifications. But it's not tested.
Tonight's a good night.
[Metallic clanking]
BATMAN: What do you suggest? By sea...
... or by air?
ROBIN: Why not both?
Who's your tailor?
I took the liberty, sir.
BATMAN: "R?"
What's that stand for?
Robin.
Riddler and Two-Face can make
a pretty lethal combination.
You could use a hand.
Two against two are better odds.
I can't promise I won't kill Harvey.
"A man's got to go his own way."
A friend taught me that.
Not just a friend.
A partner.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Robin hollers]
COMMISSIONER: He's not coming.
Shut it down.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Yells] Hey, go!
Go! Go!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Electronic beeping]
[Two-Face and Riddler giggle]
A-14.
[Explosion]
[Beeping]
Hit!
Sweet!
TWO-FACE: B-12.
[Explosion]
RIDDLER: Hit!
My favorite vitamin.
TWO-FACE: Ha, ha, ha!
[Electronic hissing]
[Laughs] Oh!
[Zooming]
That sinking feeling.
I like this game.
TWO-FACE: C-9.
[Explosion]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Riddler gasps]
You sunk my battleship!
Who, me?
[Riddler cackles]
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
This is your captain speaking.
Please return to your seats.
We will be experiencing turbulence.
[Zap]
[Explosion]
[Shrieks]
I got him!
I hope they can find the little black box.
[Explosion]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Gasping]
Now...
...the real game begins.
ROBIN: Holy rusted metal, Batman!
BATMAN: Huh?
ROBIN: The ground, it's all metal.
It's full of holes: holey.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
BATMAN: Wait!
ROBIN: The whole island's moving!
Looking for us?
[Grunting and groaning]
ROBIN: That was for my mother!
My father!
My brother!
And this is for me!
[Short, panicked screams]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
TWO-FACE: Finally, justice is served!
Let us die!
TWO-FACE: You're a man
after our own heart, son!
[Gasps] I'll see you in hell!
[Both gasping]
I'd rather see you in jail!
[Gasping]
TWO-FACE: Oh, good boy. Good boy.
The Bat's taught you well.
TWO-FACE: Noble.
Stupid...
...but noble.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Screeching]
Riddle me this.
Riddle me that.
Who's afraid of the big black bat?
No more tricks, Edward.
Very well, then.
Let's get real.
Release Chase.
This is between you and me.
And me...
[Yells]... and me!
[Riddler cackles]
You've sucked Gotham's brain waves and
now you've devised a way to read minds.
[Riddler cackles]
RIDDLER: You betcha!
Soon my little Box will be
on countless TV's around the world...
...feeding me credit-card numbers...
RIDDLER: bank codes...
...sexual fantasies...
...and little white lies.
Into my head they'll go.
RIDDLER: [Giggles] Victory is inevitable.
For if knowledge is power...
...then a god...
...am...
[Growls]... I!
[Continues growling]
Was that over the top? I can never tell.
[Cackles]
By the way, I've seen your mind. Freak!
Yours is the greatest riddle of all!
RIDDLER: Can Bruce Wayne and Batman
ever truly coexist?
We'll find out today!
But first, let's meet our contestants.
RIDDLER: Behind curtain...
...number one...
RIDDLER: the absolutely fabulous
Dr. Chase Meridian!
[Chase groans]
She enjoys hiking, manicures...
RIDDLER: and foolishly hopes
to be the love of Bruce's life.
[Squeals and cackles]
Ha!
Behind curtain number two...
..."Fatman's" one and only partner.
RIDDLER: This acrobat turned orphan...
...likes Saturday-morning cartoons
and dreams of one day being...
...bare-naked with a girl.
Ha!
[Riddler cackles]
And below these contestants...
...my personal favorite:
RIDDLER: A watery grave.
Just one little touch...
RIDDLER: and five seconds later
these two players are...
...gull feed on the rocks below.
Ha!
Not enough time to save them both.
Oooh!
Which one will it be, Batman?
RIDDLER: Bruce's love?
Or the Dark Knight's junior partner?
[Simulated ticking]
BATMAN: There is no way for me
to save them or myself.
It's all one giant death-trap.
Judges?
[Honks]
I'm sorry. Your answer must be
in the form of a question.
But thank you for playing.
BATMAN: Wait!
I have a riddle for you.
For me?
[Whispers] Really?
Tell me.
I see without seeing.
To me, darkness is as clear as daylight.
What am I?
RIDDLER: Please!
You're as blind as a bat!
Exactly.
[Click]
[Swoosh]
[Sugar screams]
[Explosion]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Riddler moans]
Bummer!
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Chase screams]
[Zooming]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Gasps] Thanks.
[Cackles]
All those heroics for nothing.
No more riddles,
no more curtains one and two.
TWO-FACE: Just plain curtains!
[Cackles]
Aren't you forgetting something?
Your coin.
You're always of two minds.
Yes, of course. You're right.
Emotion's always the enemy
of true justice.
You've always been a good friend.
[Short, panicked gasps]
[Screaming]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Sobs] Why?
Why can't I...
RIDDLER: kill you?
Too many questions.
Too many questions.
Poor Edward.
I had to save them both.
You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne
and Batman.
Not because I have to be.
Now...
...because I choose to be.
[Wailing]
DR. BURTON:
Thanks for responding to my request...
... for a consultation, Dr. Meridian.
Edward Nygma...
...has been screaming for hours
that he knows the true identity...
...of Batman.
CHASE: Edward?
EDWARD: Who...
... is it?
It's Dr. Meridian. Chase.
Do you remember me?
EDWARD: [Whispers] How could I forget?
Dr. Burton tells me...
...you know who Batman is.
EDWARD: I can't tell you
if you don't say, "please."
Edward, please.
Who is Batman?
I'm...
...Batman.
[Cackles hysterically]
Your secret is safe.
He is definitely a wacko.
"Wacko?"
Is that a technical term?
BRUCE: Listen...
...I won't need this anymore.
Thank you for giving me a new dream.
Don't work too late.
[Batman Forever theme song plays]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Can I persuade you to take a sandwich?
I'll get drive-through.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Engine revs in acceleration]
[Batman Forever theme song plays]
[Crowd shouting]
[High-pitched screeching]
You're counting on the Winged Avenger
to deliver you from evil...
...aren't you, my friend?
[Chuckles softly]
Are you going to kill me?
Maybe, maybe not.
We're of two minds on the subject.
TWO-FACE: Are you a gambling man?
Let's say we flip for it?
TWO-FACE: One man is born a hero,
his brother a coward.
[Whispers] Babies starve,
politicians grow fat...
...holy men are martyred,
and junkies grow legion.
Why?
TWO-FACE: Why, why, why, why, why?
Luck!
[Shouts] Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah...
...clueless luck!
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: The random toss...
...is the only true justice.
Let's see what justice has in store...
...for you.
[Chuckles]
TWO-FACE: [Whispers]
It's like the touch of God.
Wait, wait, wait.
[Gasps]
Fortune smiles.
Another day of wine and roses.
In your case, beer and pizza.
TWO-FACE: Out of here, guys!
BANK GUARD: You said you'd let me live!
TWO-FACE: Too true!
TWO-FACE: And so you shall! Nothing's
better than live bait to trap a bat.
[Chaotic reactions from crowd]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Crowd shouting and talking excitedly]
Hot entrance.
Two-Face?
Two guards are dead.
He's holding a third hostage.
Didn't see this one coming.
CHASE: We should have.
The Second Bank of Gotham...
BATMAN: Second anniversary
of the day I captured him.
CHASE: How could he resist?
I'm Chase Meridian.
COMMISSIONER: I asked her to come here
to consult on the case. She specializes in...
Abnormal psychology,
multiple personalities. I read your work.
Insightful.
Naive, but insightful.
I'm flattered. Not every girl
makes a superhero's night table.
COMMISSIONER: Can we reason with him?
He's got innocent people up there.
CHASE: It won't do any good.
He'll slaughter them without a thought.
BATMAN: Agreed.
A trauma powerful enough to create
an alternate personality leaves one...
CHASE: In a world where normal rules
of right and wrong no longer apply.
Exactly.
CHASE: Like you.
I could write a hell of a paper on a man
who dresses like a flying rodent.
Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
Really? I didn't know that.
You are interesting.
[Propellers pelting overhead]
And call me Chase.
By the way, do you have a first name,
or do I call you Bats?
[Chaotic reactions from crowd]
[Dramatic instrumental beat, background]
Let's start this party with a bang!
[Thunderous crashing]
[Cackles]
[Bell rings]
Very punctual, even for his own funeral.
Boys!
TWO-FACE: Kill the Bat!
[Cackles]
[Cackles]
[Bell rings]
Blast him!
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Silence]
Open sesame.
[Metallic scraping]
[Two-Face grunts]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Fast-paced instrumental music,
background]
[Zap]
[Groaning]
[Wailing]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Huffing and puffing]
[Yelling]
[Muffled shouting]
Ouch!
BANK GUARD: It's a trap!
[Short, rapid gasps]
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
Oh, no!
[More distorted and echoing sound effects]
[Bank guard screams]
[Chaotic yelling and screaming from crowd]
[Instrumental music continues,
background]
TWO-FACE ON LOUDSPEAKER:
Attention citizens of fair Gotham!
[Cackles hysterically]
When we open that safe,
we'll have everything we ever wanted:
Enough cash to rain down upon
fair Gotham, a glorious flood of chaos.
And, of course...
... you, my boy, dead!
[Two-Face chuckles]
Oh, no!
BANK GUARD: It's boiling acid!
For your dying pleasure, we are serving
the acid that made us the men we are!
BANK GUARD: [Shrieks] No!
BATMAN: Hold on.
BANK GUARD: Yes!
[Cackles hysterically]
TWO-FACE: Haul away!
Yes! Haul away!
[Mechanical rattling]
BATMAN: Give me your hand.
BANK GUARD: [Cries] Don't let go!
Aah!
[Wailing]
BATMAN: I must borrow this.
[Shrieks] Hey!
BANK GUARD: That's my hearing aid!
Thanks.
BANK GUARD: Wow!
My shoes are melting!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
BANK GUARD: [Shrieks] No more!
[Two-Face screams]
[Hissing]
[Clank]
[Bank guard gasps]
Hang on.
[Gasps] Hang on?
[Hissing]
[Bank guard screaming]
[Loud, distorted rumbling]
[Coughs]
COMMISSIONER: Get him down.
Get him down.
Take it easy with him.
COMMISSIONER: You'll be all right.
Just stay calm.
[Zooming]
[Cackles] This'll fix him!
TWO-FACE: Hang on, Batty!
[Cackles hysterically]
[Cackles]
[Roaring explosion]
[Gasps] Let's see.
TWO-FACE: Yes!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Oh, happy day!
[Cackles]
Farewell forever to that...
...pointy-eared night rat!
PILOT: Face!
Hey, Face!
[Cackles]
[Screams] No!
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Bang, Two-Face grunts]
[Smash]
You need help. Give it up.
[Short, rapid gasps]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Cackles]
Have the good taste to die!
See you!
[Cackles hysterically]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Batman Forever theme song, background]
[Gasps]
NEWSCASTER: Despite a valiant effort
last night by Batman...
... Harvey Two-Face is still at large
and extremely dangerous.
In other news today...
... billionaire Bruce Wayne extended
his profit-sharing program...
... to the employees of the successful
electronics branch of Wayne Enterprises.
[Elevator bell rings]
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[Hiss]
STICKLEY: Mr. Wayne.
STICKLEY: Your inspections are
a departmental highlight.
[Gasps] Oh, my God, it's him.
I am a winner. I am a winner.
I am a winner.
I am a winner.
[Riddler doll chuckles]
Bioremediation. Alternative fuel.
Mr. Wayne, look at that time.
Perhaps we should get to R & D
as soon as possible.
Mister...?
Oh, Bruce Wayne.
No, that's my name. And you are?
[Gasps] Nygma.
Edward.
Edward Nygma. You hired me personally.
EDWARD: Just like I tell everyone.
We've never actually met, but your name
was on the hiring slip. I have it.
I need that hand back.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
It's just that...
[Whispers]... you're my idol.
Back to work.
And some people have been trying
to keep us apart.
Back to work.
BRUCE: It's okay.
What's on your mind?
Precisely.
What's on all our minds?
Brain waves.
[Giggles]
EDWARD: The future...
...of Wayne Enterprises...
...is brain waves.
STICKLEY: I must apologize, Mr. Wayne.
- I terminated his project today.
- It's okay.
EDWARD: I have it!
[Rattling]
Voil!
[Gasps excitedly]
My invention...
...beams any TV signal directly
into the human brain.
By stimulating neurons,
manipulating brain waves...
EDWARD: this device makes the audience
feel like they're inside the show.
Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
Did you say "manipulating brain waves"?
[Pants]
Yes.
EDWARD: But...
... someone like you would never need it.
Someone so...
... intelligent, witty and...
[Sirens blaring in distance]
... charming.
I need a bit of additional funding
for human trials. Let me show you, please!
BRUCE: Now, listen...
...I want a full set of technical schematics
on this, okay?
We'll be full partners in this, Bruce.
Look at us! Two of a kind!
You call my assistant, Margaret.
She'll set something up.
Uh...
That's not...
...going to be good for me.
EDWARD: I need an answer now.
[Softly] I think I deserve it.
BRUCE: I'm sorry, then the answer is no.
Tampering with people's brain waves...
...mind manipulation...
...it just raises too many questions.
Sorry.
BRUCE: Thanks, keep up the good work.
The factory looks great.
STICKLEY: All right, everyone!
Back to work!
We'll discuss this later!
[Sobs] You were supposed to understand.
I'll make you understand.
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Lock.
BRUCE: Chair.
[Zooming]
Alfred.
ALFRED: I saw the signal.
All is ready.
[Crackling]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Batmobile engine roars]
Commissioner?
CHASE: He's at home.
I sent the signal.
What's wrong?
Last night at the bank I noticed
something about Two-Face:
CHASE: His coin.
It's his Achilles' heel.
It can be exploited.
BATMAN: I know.
You called me for this?
The Batsignal is not a beeper.
I wish I could say that my interest
in you was...
...purely professional.
Are you trying to get under my cape?
[Chase snickers]
A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
It's the car, right? Chicks love it.
[Giggles]
What is it about the wrong kind of man?
In grade school: guys with earrings.
College: motorcycles, leather jackets.
Now...
[Chase moans]
...black rubber.
Try a fireman. Less to take off.
I don't mind the work.
Pity I can't see behind the mask.
BATMAN: We all wear masks.
My life's an open book. You read?
I don't blend in at a family picnic.
CHASE: We could give it a try. I'll bring
the wine...
...you bring your scarred psyche.
Direct, aren't you?
CHASE: You like strong women.
I've done my homework.
Or do I need skintight vinyl and a whip?
I haven't had much luck with women.
Maybe you just haven't met
the right woman.
[Door opens]
[Footsteps]
I saw the signal.
COMMISSIONER: What's going on?
BATMAN: Nothing.
False alarm.
Are you sure?
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Women.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Crackling]
[Edward gasps excitedly]
EDWARD: Now I've got it!
Ha!
"Too many questions.
There's too many questions.
[Whiny voice] "Too many..."
[Sarcastic tittering]
I'll show you it works!
STICKLEY: [Yells]
What the hell is going on here?
I told you this project is terminated!
I'm calling Security!
[Thud]
[Shouts] Caffeine will kill you!
[Ding]
EDWARD: [Whispers]
Rise and shine, little guinea pig.
What are you doing?
Untie me!
EDWARD: This won't hurt.
At least, I don't think it will.
STICKLEY: What are you doing?
You touch that switch and...
This?
[High-pitched zoom]
[Sighs]
[Edward laughs softly]
[Electronic sound effects]
EDWARD: Losing resolution.
More power!
[Zap]
[Stickley screams]
[Both scream]
[Voice vibrates]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Both speak gibberish extremely quickly]
[Sighs exaggeratedly]
[Shouts] Edward Nygma...
...come on down!
You're the next contestant on...
...Brain Drain!
[Imitates voices of talk-show host
and contestant]
I'll take what's inside
thick skull number one!
EDWARD: What have we got for him?
[Goofy chuckling]
Oh, Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough!
And a breakdown? Maybe!
Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius.
No, several geniuses.
A gaggle, a swarm...
...a flock of freaking Freuds!
Riddle me this, Fred.
EDWARD: What is everything to someone...
... and nothing to everyone else?
[Shouts] Your mind, baby!
Now mine pumps with the power of yours!
[Sings]
"I'm sucking up your IQ
"Vacuuming your cortex
"Feeding off your brain"
[Electronic musical rhythm]
[Shrieks] Fred!
[Zapping sounds]
[Edward clucks]
[Edward grunts]
[Edward gasps]
What a rush!
What the hell just happened?
[Sighs]
A very surprising side effect.
While you were mesmerized
by my 3-D TV...
...I utilized your neural energy
to grow smarter.
Bruce Wayne was right!
STICKLEY: You demented, bizarre,
unethical toad!
It is brain manipulation!
STICKLEY: I'm reporting you to the FCC!
EDWARD: Oh!
STICKLEY: The human
experimentation board! The AMI!
- And the police!
- Eee!
STICKLEY: You are going up on charges...
...to court, to jail...
[Edward hums]
...and then to a mental institution
for the rest of your life!
But, first and foremost,
Nygma, you are fired!
[Yells] Do you hear me? Fired!
Ooohh...
I don't think so.
[Edward grunts]
[Stickley screams]
[Screams]
[Crash]
STICKLEY: Help!
Whoa!
[Sobbing]
[Roaring vibrations]
EDWARD: [Shrieks] Hang on!
[Both gasping]
Babe!
You are fired!
EDWARD: Or should I say...
...terminated?
[Stickley's screaming echoes]
[Yells] Surf's up, Big Kahuna!
[Crash]
Oohhh!
Nice form, but rough on the landing.
He may have to settle for the Bronze.
[Cackles hysterically]
"Questions," Mr. Wayne?
My work raises too many questions?
Why hasn't anybody...
[Whispers] ... put you in your place?
NEWSCASTER: Harvey Dent,
once Gotham's District Attorney...
... was horribly scarred
by underworld kingpin, Boss Moroni.
Although Batman tried to save him...
... Dent's left-brain damage
turned him into a violent criminal...
... who blamed Batman
and who has vowed to destroy him.
[Alfred talks on phone]
Harvey Two-Face is extremely dangerous,
repeat, extremely dangerous.
That was the Commissioner.
There's been an accident
at Wayne Enterprises.
BRUCE: Horrible way to die.
The surveillance cameras are down here.
We'll dredge the river, but with
that current, I doubt we'll find the body.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
Why?
Oh, why?
[Sobs]
I just can't believe it.
Two years working in the same office.
He was like my father...
...my brother...
...or a cousin that visits a lot.
[Sobs]
Get a grip, Edward.
I found this in my cubicle.
You'll find the handwriting matches his,
as does the sentence structure.
I couldn't possibly continue on here.
[Gasps] The memories...
BRUCE: This is last night's security log.
There's Stickley.
[Stickley laughing]
[Crash]
Pretty cut and dry.
Yes, definitely suicide.
Thanks very much for your help, Bruce.
We'll be in touch.
BRUCE: Stickley's suicide doesn't make
sense. I want full benefits for his family.
Suicide's not covered
by our corporate insurance policy.
I know. Full benefits.
Gossip Gerty called 32 times.
Who are you taking to the Charity Circus?
BRUCE: I'll let you know. What's this?
I don't know.
I didn't see anyone.
BRUCE: "If you look at the numbers
on my face...
"...you won't find 13 anyplace."
That's hideous.
MARGARET: What does it mean?
It's a riddle.
"Numbers on my face... 13."
One through twelve.
The answer is a clock.
Who would send you a riddle?
That, Maggie...
...is the riddle.
[Pop song begins]
"You're sort of stuck where you are
"Where in your dreams
"You can buy expensive cars
"Or live on Mars
"And have it your way"
[Riddler doll chuckles]
"You hate your boss at your job"
Guess what I did today?
"But in your dreams
"You can blow his head off
"In your dreams
"Show no mercy"
[Riddler doll chuckles]
[Motorcycle engine revs]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
EDWARD: Wayne Manor.
Humph!
See you soon.
[Ambient traffic sounds]
[Dramatic instrumental music continues,
background]
BRUCE: Dr. Meridian, please. Thank you.
[Chase gasping and groaning]
[Rattling]
[Chase gasps]
[Chase breathes heavily]
[Stutters] I... guess I'm early.
I have an appointment.
I'm Bruce Wayne.
Good.
Then you can afford to buy me a new door.
I'm sorry.
BRUCE: You... sounded like you were in...
...you know, trouble.
I prefer healthy expressions of violence
as opposed to breaking in.
CHASE: So...
...how can I help you?
Someone's been sending me love letters.
One at my office and one at my home.
Commissioner Gordon thought
you might give me your opinion.
A clock.
Clock.
CHASE: "Tear one off and scratch my head.
"What once was red is black instead."
A match.
My opinion: this letter writer is a wacko.
"Wacko?"
Is that a technical term?
Patient may suffer from obsession...
...with potential homicidal tendencies.
Is that better for you?
So, what you're saying is...
...this guy's a total wacko.
CHASE: Exactly.
He's obsessed with you.
His only escape may be
to purge the fixation.
To kill me.
I think you understand obsession
better than you let on.
[Batman Forever theme song plays softly,
background]
You like bats?
CHASE: That's a Rorschach, Mr. Wayne.
An inkblot.
People see what they want.
CHASE: The question is: do you like bats?
Still playing with dolls?
CHASE: She's a Malaysian dream warden.
Some cultures believe she protects you
from bad dreams.
CHASE: It's silly to you, I'm sure.
You look so sad.
Do you need one?
Me? No. Why would I?
CHASE: You're not exactly what you seem,
are you?
What is it you really came here for?
Yikes, time's up.
That's usually my line.
BRUCE: I'd love to stay here chatting...
Would you?
I'm not so sure.
I must get you out of those clothes.
Excuse me?
BRUCE: And into a black dress.
Tell me, Doctor, do you like the circus?
[Trumpets blare and drums pound
dramatic circus music]
RINGMASTER: Ladies and gentlemen...
... boys and girls of all ages...
... welcome to the greatest show on earth!
GOSSIP GERTY: Who is this beautiful
young woman you're with?
BRUCE: Dr. Chase Meridian.
GOSSIP GERTY: A doctor?
What kind of doctor?
RINGMASTER ON TV:
... for Gotham Children's Hospital.
Let's thank our largest single donor:
Bruce Wayne!
[Applause on TV]
RINGMASTER ON TV:
Ladies and gentlemen...
... 70 feet above the ground...
... performing feats
of unimaginable aerial skill...
... the Flying Graysons!
[Dramatic circus music
with rhythmic drumbeat]
[Thunderous applause]
[Applause and cheering continue]
[Cries of astonishment from audience]
[Applause and cheering]
Listen...
...I'm going rock climbing this weekend.
Would you like to join me?
Um...
...I'd like to.
I love climbing. I really love it.
But?
I've met someone.
That's fast work. You just moved here.
You could say he just...
...dropped out of the sky and...
...bang!
I think he felt it too.
He sure did.
What?
Who wouldn't?
RINGMASTER: Now...
... Richard...
... the youngest Flying Grayson...
[Applause]
... will perform the awe-inspiring...
... death drop...
CROWD: Whoa!
RINGMASTER: ... without the safety...
... of a net!
[Applause]
DAD GRAYSON: Let's go.
MOM GRAYSON: You'll be okay.
[Cries of astonishment from audience]
[Groaning]
[Applause and cheering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
TWO-FACE: Ladies...
... and gentlemen!
Now, the new management
of the circus invites you to forget...
... this good, wholesome fun...
... and join us in a celebration
of absolute chaos...
... and true jesters!
Bring it on!
Now!
[Yelling and screaming from audience]
[Eerie cackling on TV]
[Laughs excitedly]
Tonight, a new act for your...
... personal amazement.
We call it, "Massacre under the Big Top."
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: Let us direct your attention
to the ring.
Inside this harmless-looking orb are two...
... that's two hundred sticks of TNT.
And in our innocent hand...
... a radio detonator.
MAYOR: What do you want?
Want, Mr. Mayor?
TWO-FACE: One simple thing: Batman.
Bruised, broken, bleeding...
[Yells] ... in a word: dead!
[Laughs hysterically]
Batman.
TWO-FACE: Who do we have before us?
[Whispers] Gotham's finest...
... well-to-do...
... influential.
Surely one of you knows who Batman is.
Hell, odds are one of you pasty-faced twits
is Batman!
[Screams from audience]
You have two minutes.
[Ticking]
[Shouts] Harvey!
I'm Batman!
[Chaotic yelling and screaming]
Bruce!
[Hooting and hollering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Chaotic yelling continues]
[Grunting]
We can stop them.
DAD GRAYSON: Go out on the rigging.
Be careful.
Don't worry.
[Grunting and groaning]
[Dramatic instrumental music continues,
background]
[Screams from audience]
TWO-FACE: Go to work, boys!
[Cackles]
[Ticking]
[Laughs]
Our kind of day.
MOM GRAYSON: Reach for it! Stop it!
[Grunting and groaning]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
Oh, my God.
[Screaming]
[Ticking]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Two-Face laughs]
[Shrieks]
[Ticking]
[Grunts]
[Explosion]
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
[Sobs]
It's good you took him in.
He hasn't anyone now.
He's filled out papers all day.
He hasn't slept or eaten.
ALFRED: Welcome, Master Grayson.
I'm Alfred.
How're you doing, Al?
BRUCE: There's a room prepared for you.
But perhaps you'd like to eat first.
Okay, I'm out of here.
Excuse me?
Telling that cop I'd stay here...
...saved me a lot
of social-service interviews.
So, no offense, but no thanks. See you.
DICK: Take it easy.
BRUCE: Where will you go?
The circus must be halfway to Metropolis.
DICK: Get a fix on Two-Face.
Then I'll kill him.
Killing Two-Face won't take the pain away.
BRUCE: It'll make it worse.
Spare me the sermons, all right?
DICK: I don't need your advice
or your charity.
[Motorcycle engine revs]
Nice bike.
Hang out at a lot of biker bars?
You're almost on empty.
Fill it up in the garage.
There's no gas station for miles.
BRUCE: The pump's over here.
DICK: Is this a garage or a car museum,
Bruce?
DICK: Wow!
DICK: That's a 1917 Harley.
BRUCE: Yep.
DICK: Indian Classic, fully restored.
This is a Vincent Black Knight.
They only made a hundred.
A hundred and one, actually.
She's my favorite.
You've got two.
That one doesn't run.
BRUCE: The throttle sticks on this one.
Alfred's a good mechanic, but...
... these need a lot of work.
If someone were to fix them up...
...they could keep one.
BRUCE: Anyway...
...have a nice trip.
You'll land on your feet.
Is the young master leaving?
Pity.
I'll just toss this away then.
Perhaps the dogs are hungry.
Hey, Al, wait up.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
[Faint sound of voices]
[Distorted sound of gunshot]
[Distorted sound of gunshot]
[Thunder rumbles]
[Priest reciting prayers]
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
ALFRED: Master Bruce?
Master Bruce?
Just like my parents.
It's happening again.
A monster comes out of the night,
a scream, two shots.
I killed them.
What did you say?
He killed them.
Two-Face.
He slaughtered that boy's parents.
ALFRED: No, no.
You said, "I killed them."
[Sirens blaring in distance]
Take care of the kid.
Certainly, sir.
[Footsteps]
ALFRED: Can I help you settle in,
Master Grayson?
DICK: No.
Thanks, I won't be staying long.
[Melancholic instrumental melody plays,
background]
Is this a robin?
My brother's wire broke once
and I swung out and grabbed him.
DICK: My father said I was his hero.
I flew in like a robin.
Some hero I turned out to be.
But your father was right.
You are a hero. I can tell.
Throw this away, will you?
I won't need it anymore.
ALFRED: I think I'll just put it in here.
Broken wings mend in time.
One day Robin will fly again.
I promise.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Batman Forever theme song plays,
background]
[Engines accelerate]
[Thug cackles]
[Carriage rattles]
[Cackles]
[Beep]
[Explosive blast]
[Shrieking]
[Roaring explosion]
[Moans]
[Tires squealing]
[Fast-paced instrumental rhythm,
background]
[Two-Face groans]
TWO-FACE: We'll drive.
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Cackles]
[Tires squealing]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Cackles]
[Rapid machine-gun blasts]
[Fast-paced instrumental rhythm
continues, background]
[Mechanical clanking]
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Explosion]
[Gasps]
[Music climaxes]
[Two-Face wails]
[Electronic beeping]
The Puzzler?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
[Electronic beeping]
The Gamester?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
Captain Kill?
[Low-pitched buzzing]
EDWARD: Question Mark Man?
[Electronic beeping]
EDWARD: No, no, no!
[High-pitched ringing]
[Sighs]
[Riddler doll chuckles]
[High-pitched ringing]
Thank you. Thank you so much.
[Giggling]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Sirens blaring]
The Bat's stubborn refusal to expire...
...is driving us insane!
Don't worry, baby.
[Spice giggles]
You'll kill him soon.
Besides...
...I made your favorite:
Sparkling champagne and...
...yummy poached salmon
with little quail eggs and...
[Two-Face moans]
...a creamy...
...dreamy...
...lemon souffl.
No, I made your favorite:
A charred heart of black boar...
...a side of raw donkey meat...
...and a Sterno and grain alcohol,
straight up, baby!
[AII laugh]
TWO-FACE: Perfect!
Ladies, you spoil us!
We're of two minds about what to eat first.
[Ding]
What?
RIDDLER: I hope you made extra.
TWO-FACE: Who the hell are you?
Just a friend.
But you can call me...
...The Riddler.
[Riddler chuckles]
I'll call you dead, is more like it!
How did you find us? Talk!
But then if I talked, what would keep you
from slaying me, O Segregated One?
That's never going to heal
if you don't stop picking.
Let's see if you bleed green.
Harvey!
[Spice giggles]
It's not me you want to kill.
That's just too easy for someone
as powerful as you and...
...you.
But Batman...
[Gasps]
[Whispers]... there's a challenge.
Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea.
But have you thought it through? A few
bullets, a splash of blood, then what?
Wet hands.
Post-homicidal depression.
[Whimpers]
Why not humiliate him first?
Yeah.
RIDDLER: Expose his frailties.
Then, when he is at his weakest...
[Shouts]... crush him!
I see that...
...sparkle in your left eye.
[Two-Face chuckles]
[Whispers] I can help you get Batman.
That is, if you'II...
...spare my life for just a few moments.
[Two-Face grunts]
[Sighs]
Thank you.
I love what you've done with this place.
Heavy Metal meets House and Garden.
Beautiful.
It's so dark and Gothic and...
...disgustingly decadent.
[Riddler snarls]
RIDDLER: Yet so bright and chipper and...
...conservative.
[Whistles]
RIDDLER: It's so you!
[Sings] And yet, so you!
[Chuckles]
Very few people are both a summer
and a winter, but...
...but you pull it off nicely.
[Gunshot]
What's the point?
[Shouts] Has anyone ever told you, you
have a serious impulse-control problem?
[Gun clicks]
This is the point.
[Electronic scanning sounds]
[Fast-paced instrumental beat, background]
This is how I found you.
Let me demonstrate.
[Zap]
[Gasping]
This is your brain on The Box.
This is my brain on The Box.
[Shrieks] Does anyone else feel
like a fried egg?
I'll have more.
[Pop]
There's more. But only the first one's free.
Here's the bargain:
You'll help me steal production capital...
...so I can put a Box on every TV in town...
...and become Gotham's cleverest,
carbon-based life form!
And in return...
Is everybody paying attention?
[Whispers] I will help you solve
the greatest riddle of all.
The mother of all riddles:
Who is...
...Batman?
You broke into our hideout.
You violated the sanctity of our lair.
We should crush your bones into powder.
But you pose an interesting proposition.
Therefore, heads: we accept,
and tails: we blow your damn head off.
[People yelling and chattering excitedly]
[Two-Face laughs hysterically]
Here's a good one.
TWO-FACE: No, no, no!
There is a good one.
- Leave that. I'll attend to it.
- I'm not used to being waited on.
[Gasps] Don't shoot me!
THUG: Don't eyeball me! Give me that!
[Yelling and fighting]
RIDDLER: Two-Face, show me how
to punch a guy!
It's dead simple, my boy.
Ball up your fist, reach back...
...and assert yourself.
That looks fun. Let me try.
Ball up the fist, reach way back...
assert yourself.
Ow!
[Fast-paced instrumental beat continues,
background]
RIDDLER: One hundred thousand,
two hundred and twenty.
One hundred and...
[Shouts] I lost count!
[Giggles excitedly]
FEMALE NEWSCASTER ON TV:
Last night another robbery...
... perpetrated by
the Green-Suited Menace...
... resulting in millions in diamonds stolen,
with no sign of Batman.
MALE NEWSCASTER: Teamed with
Two-Face, this new criminal's pattern...
... of marking his crimes with puzzles
has Gothamites calling him The Riddler.
Apparently, you and Batman
have a common enemy.
That was with the morning mail.
ALFRED: "The eight of us go forth,
not back.
"To protect our king from the foe's attack."
Chess pawns.
Clock.
Matches.
All physical, man-made objects.
ALFRED: Small in size, light in weight.
What's the connection?
ALFRED: With all due respect,
that's why they call him The Riddler.
[Rattling and grunting]
ALFRED: May I help you?
Why is this the only locked door?
What's back there?
Master Wayne's dead wives.
The silver closet. On your way.
EDWARD: Now, you can be part
of the action!
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
Nygma Tech brings the joy
of 3-D entertainment into your home!
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you...
... my vision.
The Box in every home in America...
... and one day, the world!
[Crowd shouting]
FEMALE NEWSCASTER ON TV:
In local news, Edward Nygma's 3-D Box...
... has become the rage of Gotham.
Rioting occurred last night
at electronic stores that were sold out.
There is hardly a home
without the Nygma Tech Box.
Critics claim The Box turns Gothamites
into zombies.
But Edward Nygma just shrugs.
"That's what they said
when TV was invented. "
[Zapping and popping sounds]
[Eerie instrumental music, background]
[Riddler chuckles and gasps]
ALFRED: Master Dick!
DICK: Up here.
Just checking, young sir.
Now!
[Yelling]
[Clanking]
[Groaning]
LOUDSPEAKER:
Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
CHASE: I have something for you.
It's on the table.
I hope you like it.
Call it clinical intuition.
I thought your dreams needed changing.
My parents were murdered before me...
...when I was a kid.
I don't...
...remember a lot of what happened, but...
...what I do comes to me in my dreams.
Flashes.
There's a new element now, though,
I haven't seen before.
It's a red leather book.
Something else...
BRUCE: My dreams come to me
when I'm awake now.
Bruce, you're describing
repressed memories.
CHASE: Images of a forgotten pain
that's trying to surface.
[Tea-kettle hisses]
I'll be right back.
Is it possible there's an aspect
of your parents' death you haven't faced?
You were so young when it happened.
Maybe I should leave you two alone.
BRUCE: This goes way beyond taking
your work home, doesn't it?
CHASE: All right.
I think he's fascinating.
Clinically.
Why does a man do this?
It's as if he's cursed to pay a penance.
What crime could he have committed
to deserve a life of nightly torture?
It's more than just...
...professional interest, isn't it, Chase?
Bruce, are you jealous?
BRUCE: No.
I can't be jealous of Batman.
I want to be close,
but you won't let me near.
What are you protecting me from?
BRUCE: Do you want to know me?
Do you want to know who I am?
I guess...
...we're all two people.
BRUCE: The one in daylight,
and the one we keep in shadow.
Rage...
...violence...
...passion.
[Wristwatch beeps]
Excuse me.
I'm busy.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I have some distressing news about Dick.
Is he okay?
I'm afraid Master Dick has gone traveling.
BRUCE: He ran away?
ALFRED: Actually, he took the car.
He boosted the Jag?
Not the Jaguar.
The other car.
The Bentley?
ALFRED: No, sir.
The other car.
[Rock music blares, background]
[Tires squeal]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Crowd jeering and taunting]
[Rock music continues]
[Jeering and taunting continue]
Come for a little ride
in my love machine, babies?
[Hollering]
It's Batman!
WOMAN 1: Open up, Batman.
WOMAN 1: Wait!
That's not Batman!
What do you mean?
WOMAN 2: That's Batboy!
[AII laugh]
It ain't the Bat!
[Girl screams]
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Chaotic hollering]
DICK: Hey!
Let her go!
[Crowd snickers and groans sarcastically]
[Girl gasps and sobs]
Who the hell are you?
I'm Batman.
[Hysterical laughter]
I forgot my suit, all right?
[Grunting and groaning]
[Crazy Eddie grunts]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Girl gasps]
Come on, run!
Doesn't Batman ever kiss the girl?
DICK: Go!
GIRL: Thanks, you saved my life!
I could definitely get
into this superhero gig.
[Whistles]
[Riotous yelling]
CRAZY EDDIE: Batman!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Bastard!
DICK: It should've been you!
[Gasps] If you had told Two-Face
who you were at the circus...
...they'd still be alive!
If Bruce Wayne could've given his life
for your family, he would have.
[Dick gasps]
DICK: All I can think about every day
is getting Two-Face.
He took my whole life.
When I was out there tonight...
...I imagined it was him I was fighting...
...even when I was fighting you...
...and the pain went away.
Do you understand?
BRUCE: Yes, I do.
Good.
You must help me find him.
DICK: When we do...
... I'm the one who kills him.
So, you're willing to take a life?
DICK: As long as it's Two-Face.
BRUCE: Then it will happen this way:
You make the kill.
But your pain doesn't die with Harvey,
it grows.
So you run into the night
to find another face, and another...
... and another...
... until one terrible morning
you wake up and realize...
...that revenge has become
your whole life...
...and you won't know why.
You can't understand.
Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Yes, they were.
BRUCE: We're the same.
If we're the same, help me.
Train me, let me be your partner.
No.
I can't.
BRUCE: You still have a choice.
Look, Bruce...
...I'm a part of this, whether you like it
or not.
[Lounge music plays, background]
[Scattered conversations]
NEWSCASTER: Tonight
all of Gotham society has turned out...
... for Edward Nygma's gala unveiling
of his New Improved Box.
Thanks, Al.
My pleasure, sir.
NEWSCASTER: They'll be dining
and dancing the night away...
... on the glamorous roof
of the Ritz Gotham.
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
REPORTER 1: What's it like to have
your face on the cover of every magazine?
GOSSIP GERTY: How does it feel to be
the city's newest, most-eligible bachelor?
Gotham must know!
There's Bruce Wayne!
GOSSIP GERTY: Brucie!
SUGAR: Oh, Eddie, he is too cute!
How come you don't look so good
in that suit?
Shut up. You're here to work!
How's my mole?
Fine.
REPORTER 2: What about rumors
of a Nygma Tech takeover...
...of Wayne Enterprises?
GOSSIP GERTY: Nygma Tech stock is
outselling Wayne Enterprises two to one.
Are you yesterday's news, Bruce?
EDWARD: Yes, yes, yes...
Bruce, old man.
The press wonders what it's like
to be outsold, outclassed, out-coifed and...
...generally outdone in every way.
Hello, Edward. Congratulations.
Great party. Nice suit.
Wit. Good.
EDWARD: And you are?
Chase.
And what a grand pursuit you must be.
I'm Bruce Wayne, Miss...?
[Giggles]
You can call me anything you want.
EDWARD: Ladies and gentlemen...
...the future!
My New Improved Box offers
fully-interactive holographic fantasies.
[Crowd gasps in astonishment]
Edward, you're dashing and a genius.
How do you create these images, hon?
That, my dear, is my little secret.
[Applause and cheering]
Fully-interactive holographs.
BRUCE: Only a high-frequency
carrier wave, beamed into the brain...
...could create such images.
And you wish you thought of it.
EDWARD: Don't be a sore loser.
Step inside. Give it a try.
If you can introduce images into the mind,
what stops you from...
...extracting images out of the mind?
Oh...
Too timid to try my machine? Just say so.
Shall we dance?
[Waltz melody plays]
SUGAR: Naughty, naughty.
Looking for something?
I was just wondering how you turn it off.
Clever.
Thanks.
My pleasure.
[Scattered conversations]
[Ding]
[Zap]
COMPUTER: Good evening, Mr. Wayne.
Relax.
[Computer speaks in a slow,
hypnotic voice]
Tell me your...
... dreams.
Tell me...
... your fantasies.
Tell me your secrets.
Tell me...
... your deepest...
... darkest...
... fears.
[Chaotic yelling]
[Gunshots]
[Smashing]
No, no, no!
[Screaming]
[Cackles]
TWO-FACE: Relax, folks!
It's only an old-fashioned, low-tech stickup!
We're interested in the basics:
Cash, jewelry, cellular telephones.
[Chaotic screaming]
Hand them over nice and quietly,
and no one will be hurt!
Emergency, Alfred.
ALFRED: Yes, sir.
EDWARD: Be calm, everybody!
Just stay calm!
Excuse me!
EDWARD: You're ruining my big party!
Are you insane?
[Gulps]
We're sick of waiting for you
to deliver Batman.
Patience, O Bifurcated One.
[Yells] Patience, hell! We want him dead!
And nothing brings out the Batman
like a little murder and mayhem!
[Giggles]
You could have let me in on the caper.
We could have organized it, planned it,
pre-sold the movie rights!
Ha!
[Crash]
Batman!
Your entrance was good, his was better.
[Grunting and groaning]
The difference?
Showmanship!
[Grunting and groaning]
[Chaotic yelling]
DICK: Emergency, Alfred.
ALFRED: Oh, sir...
I could be fired for this.
Perhaps they'll have me back
at Buckingham Palace.
[Chaotic yelling and screaming,
grunting and groaning]
All right, boys! Phase Two!
My place, midnight.
[Cackles]
[Cackles]
[Gunshots]
[Hoots and hollers]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Two-Face cackles]
[Two-Face cackles]
[Hissing]
Nothing like a bad case of gas!
[Gunshot]
[Flames roaring]
[Two-Face cackling]
[Hooting and hollering]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Shrieks] Why can't you just die?
[Repeated machine-gun blasts]
[Thunderous crashing]
[Cackles]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
Hi.
[Dick breathes heavily]
What were you doing?
You got a real gratitude problem,
you know that?
I need a name. Batboy? Knight Wing?
What's a good sidekick name?
"Dick Grayson, college student."
DICK: Screw you!
I saved your life. You owe me.
You're going to get yourself killed.
I'm your new partner.
No!
Whenever you go out at night, I'll be
watching. Where Batman goes, I'll go.
How will you stop me?
I can stop you.
Al...
Hang this next to the Batsuit...
...where it belongs.
BRUCE: You're encouraging him.
Young men with a mind for revenge
need little encouragement.
They need guidance.
ALFRED: You, above all, should know
the consequences of the life you choose.
Even Chase calls being Batman a curse.
ALFRED: Perhaps the lady is just
what the doctor ordered.
She seems lovely and wise.
BRUCE: I've never been in love before.
Go to her.
Tell her how you feel.
She wants Batman, not Bruce Wayne.
Let her decide.
[Soft instrumental music, background]
[Chase gasps]
CHASE: I'm sorry.
I can't believe this.
I've imagined this moment
since I first saw you.
Your eyes...
...your lips...
...your body.
CHASE: Now I have you and...
...I'm wishing you were somebody else.
[Sighs]
I guess a girl has to grow up sometime.
CHASE: I've met someone.
He's not you.
I hope you can understand.
I understand.
Well...
[Zoom]
[Two-Face wails]
That's just what I said.
Then I taught my doggie a new trick:
How to map the human mind.
Would you like to see
what Bruce Wayne has in his head?
[Hollers]
Riddle me this:
What kind of man...
...has bats on the brain?
[Two-Face howls and cackles]
- Go ahead. You can say it.
- You're a genius.
Oh, stop.
[Both giggle]
BRUCE: So, from this day on...
...Batman is no more.
DICK: You can't just quit.
There's monsters out there.
Batman has to protect the innocent.
BRUCE: I've dedicated my life to helping
strangers I've never met.
Faces I've never seen.
BRUCE: Well...
...the innocent aren't faceless anymore.
You can't tell me what to do
with the rest of my life.
My dad told me that every man goes
his own way.
DICK: My way goes to Two-Face.
You must help me.
BRUCE: And if you do find Harvey...
...and then you kill him...
...what next?
[Dick sighs]
BRUCE: Exactly.
Then you'd be alone, like me.
BRUCE: No, you must let this go.
Listen to me, I'm your friend.
DICK: I don't need a friend,
I need a partner.
Two-Face has got to pay.
Please.
Chase is coming for dinner.
I'm going to tell her...
...everything.
Come upstairs. We'll talk.
[Dramatic instrumental beat, background]
ALFRED: Good evening.
CHASE: Good evening.
ALFRED: Happy Halloween.
CHASE: Happy Halloween to you.
[Rat squeaks]
I asked you here tonight because
there's something I wanted to tell you.
I wanted to tell you something too.
BRUCE: What I wanted...
[Both laugh]
BRUCE: Go ahead, you first.
Trick or treat!
[Giggling]
All my life I have been...
...attracted to a certain kind of man.
The wrong kind.
CHASE: Look at what I do for a living.
And since...
...since I met you, I...
Oh, God.
Why am I so nervous?
[Clanking]
CHASE: [Gasps] Oh!
[Gunshot echoes]
Don't eat too much tonight
or you'll be sick in your beds.
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[Children giggle and talk excitedly]
[Two-Face cackles]
Happy Halloween!
[Thunder rumbles]
What's wrong?
BRUCE: It's happening again.
Flashes.
My parents' death.
Your memories are trying
to break through.
BRUCE: I want to tell you something.
Something I've never told anyone.
CHASE: It's all right.
It's all right. I'm here.
CHASE: [Voice echoing] I'm here.
[Priest reciting prayers]
BRUCE: The night of my parents' wake...
... the priest's words gave no comfort.
Of course.
There, on my father's desk...
... the red book.
His journal.
He'd written in it every day.
But now he'd never write in it again.
At that moment I knew...
... my life would never be the same.
I raced out into the storm...
... trying to outrun the rage.
The pain.
Then I fell.
I fell forever.
The cave was monstrous.
It must have been there for centuries.
And there...
... deep in the shadows...
... I saw...
It was coming toward me.
I was scared at first, but only at first.
The figure in the dark was my destiny.
It would change my life forever.
I would use its image to strike terror
into the hearts of those who did evil.
I would ensure what happened to me
would never happen to anyone else.
I would have my revenge.
CHASE: What are you trying to tell me?
BRUCE: I'm...
Twick or tweet!
[Bang]
[Crash]
Trick.
[Whispers] Remember the plan?
Seize and capture.
No killing.
That goes double for you.
[Thugs chuckle]
RIDDLER: If I was a superhero...
...where would I hide?
[Whispers] Spank me.
[Chaotic yelling,
dramatic instrumental beat, background]
LOUDSPEAKER:
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
RIDDLER: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
[Yells] Shut up!
Now, that's impressive!
[Ding]
[Chase screams]
[Fast-paced instrumental music,
background]
It's always risky introducing
a tamed animal into the wild.
[Ticking]
[Bounce]
[Explosion]
[Riddler hums and giggles]
They may have trouble adapting
to their new environment.
[Bounce]
[Explosion]
[Groaning and yelling]
[Sighs]
[Snickering]
[Explosion]
[Electronic organ rhythm
as in a baseball game]
[Explosion]
[Grunts] Yeah!
[Ding]
[Groaning and shouting]
Somebody tell the fat lady...
...she's on in five.
[Electronic squeaking]
[Riddler giggles]
[Explosion]
[Laughs hysterically]
[Shouts] "Joygasm!"
[Chaotic yelling]
[Cackles]
[Gunshot]
[Chase screams]
TWO-FACE: Get the girl!
[Shrieks] No!
Don't kill him.
If you kill him...
...he won't learn nothing.
[Two-Face cackles]
[Riddler cackles]
[Running footsteps]
[Chase screams]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
ALFRED: [Voice echoing] Master Bruce!
How are you, young man?
You haven't called me that for a long time.
Old habits die hard.
Are you all right?
Where's Chase?
ALFRED: I'm afraid they've taken her.
Master Dick has run away.
The cave has been destroyed.
ALFRED: And there's another riddle.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Chase groans]
RIDDLER: I'm coming, my sweet.
RIDDLER: Like the jacket?
It keeps me safe when I'm...
...jogging at night.
Batman will come for me.
Batman?
[With British accent] Batman, you say?
Coming for you?
[Hollers]
I'm...
[Shrieks]... counting on it.
COMMISSIONER: What is that?
Where's it coming from?
There!
OFFICER: Who's doing that?
COMMISSIONER: The Riddler!
BRUCE: "We're five little items
of an everyday sort.
"You'll find us all in a tennis court."
BRUCE: In...
A-E-l-O-U.
Vowels.
Not entirely unclever, sir.
But what do a clock, a match,
chess pawns...
...and vowels have in common?
What do these riddles mean?
BRUCE: Every riddle contains a number
and they arrived in this order:
13, 1, 8...
... and 5.
ALFRED: 13, 1, 8 and 5.
Meaning?
BRUCE: Letters of the alphabet?
Of course, 13 is M.
BRUCE: 1 would be A, 8 would be H
and 5 would be E.
ALFRED: M-A-H-E.
BRUCE: Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
M-R-E.
How about...
..."Mr. E"?
ALFRED: Mystery?
BRUCE: Another name for mystery?
Enigma.
Mr. E. Nygma.
Edward Nygma.
BRUCE: Stickley's suicide was obviously
a computer-generated forgery.
ALFRED: You really are quite bright,
despite what people say.
BRUCE: Are all the Batsuits destroyed?
All except the prototype with the sonar
modifications. But it's not tested.
Tonight's a good night.
[Metallic clanking]
BATMAN: What do you suggest? By sea...
... or by air?
ROBIN: Why not both?
Who's your tailor?
I took the liberty, sir.
BATMAN: "R?"
What's that stand for?
Robin.
Riddler and Two-Face can make
a pretty lethal combination.
You could use a hand.
Two against two are better odds.
I can't promise I won't kill Harvey.
"A man's got to go his own way."
A friend taught me that.
Not just a friend.
A partner.
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Robin hollers]
COMMISSIONER: He's not coming.
Shut it down.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
[Batmobile engine roars]
[Yells] Hey, go!
Go! Go!
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Electronic beeping]
[Two-Face and Riddler giggle]
A-14.
[Explosion]
[Beeping]
Hit!
Sweet!
TWO-FACE: B-12.
[Explosion]
RIDDLER: Hit!
My favorite vitamin.
TWO-FACE: Ha, ha, ha!
[Electronic hissing]
[Laughs] Oh!
[Zooming]
That sinking feeling.
I like this game.
TWO-FACE: C-9.
[Explosion]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Riddler gasps]
You sunk my battleship!
Who, me?
[Riddler cackles]
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
This is your captain speaking.
Please return to your seats.
We will be experiencing turbulence.
[Zap]
[Explosion]
[Shrieks]
I got him!
I hope they can find the little black box.
[Explosion]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Gasping]
Now...
...the real game begins.
ROBIN: Holy rusted metal, Batman!
BATMAN: Huh?
ROBIN: The ground, it's all metal.
It's full of holes: holey.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
BATMAN: Wait!
ROBIN: The whole island's moving!
Looking for us?
[Grunting and groaning]
ROBIN: That was for my mother!
My father!
My brother!
And this is for me!
[Short, panicked screams]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
TWO-FACE: Finally, justice is served!
Let us die!
TWO-FACE: You're a man
after our own heart, son!
[Gasps] I'll see you in hell!
[Both gasping]
I'd rather see you in jail!
[Gasping]
TWO-FACE: Oh, good boy. Good boy.
The Bat's taught you well.
TWO-FACE: Noble.
Stupid...
...but noble.
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Screeching]
Riddle me this.
Riddle me that.
Who's afraid of the big black bat?
No more tricks, Edward.
Very well, then.
Let's get real.
Release Chase.
This is between you and me.
And me...
[Yells]... and me!
[Riddler cackles]
You've sucked Gotham's brain waves and
now you've devised a way to read minds.
[Riddler cackles]
RIDDLER: You betcha!
Soon my little Box will be
on countless TV's around the world...
...feeding me credit-card numbers...
RIDDLER: bank codes...
...sexual fantasies...
...and little white lies.
Into my head they'll go.
RIDDLER: [Giggles] Victory is inevitable.
For if knowledge is power...
...then a god...
...am...
[Growls]... I!
[Continues growling]
Was that over the top? I can never tell.
[Cackles]
By the way, I've seen your mind. Freak!
Yours is the greatest riddle of all!
RIDDLER: Can Bruce Wayne and Batman
ever truly coexist?
We'll find out today!
But first, let's meet our contestants.
RIDDLER: Behind curtain...
...number one...
RIDDLER: the absolutely fabulous
Dr. Chase Meridian!
[Chase groans]
She enjoys hiking, manicures...
RIDDLER: and foolishly hopes
to be the love of Bruce's life.
[Squeals and cackles]
Ha!
Behind curtain number two...
..."Fatman's" one and only partner.
RIDDLER: This acrobat turned orphan...
...likes Saturday-morning cartoons
and dreams of one day being...
...bare-naked with a girl.
Ha!
[Riddler cackles]
And below these contestants...
...my personal favorite:
RIDDLER: A watery grave.
Just one little touch...
RIDDLER: and five seconds later
these two players are...
...gull feed on the rocks below.
Ha!
Not enough time to save them both.
Oooh!
Which one will it be, Batman?
RIDDLER: Bruce's love?
Or the Dark Knight's junior partner?
[Simulated ticking]
BATMAN: There is no way for me
to save them or myself.
It's all one giant death-trap.
Judges?
[Honks]
I'm sorry. Your answer must be
in the form of a question.
But thank you for playing.
BATMAN: Wait!
I have a riddle for you.
For me?
[Whispers] Really?
Tell me.
I see without seeing.
To me, darkness is as clear as daylight.
What am I?
RIDDLER: Please!
You're as blind as a bat!
Exactly.
[Click]
[Swoosh]
[Sugar screams]
[Explosion]
[Thunderous explosion]
[Riddler moans]
Bummer!
[Loud, distorted sound effects]
[Chase screams]
[Zooming]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Gasps] Thanks.
[Cackles]
All those heroics for nothing.
No more riddles,
no more curtains one and two.
TWO-FACE: Just plain curtains!
[Cackles]
Aren't you forgetting something?
Your coin.
You're always of two minds.
Yes, of course. You're right.
Emotion's always the enemy
of true justice.
You've always been a good friend.
[Short, panicked gasps]
[Screaming]
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Sobs] Why?
Why can't I...
RIDDLER: kill you?
Too many questions.
Too many questions.
Poor Edward.
I had to save them both.
You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne
and Batman.
Not because I have to be.
Now...
...because I choose to be.
[Wailing]
DR. BURTON:
Thanks for responding to my request...
... for a consultation, Dr. Meridian.
Edward Nygma...
...has been screaming for hours
that he knows the true identity...
...of Batman.
CHASE: Edward?
EDWARD: Who...
... is it?
It's Dr. Meridian. Chase.
Do you remember me?
EDWARD: [Whispers] How could I forget?
Dr. Burton tells me...
...you know who Batman is.
EDWARD: I can't tell you
if you don't say, "please."
Edward, please.
Who is Batman?
I'm...
...Batman.
[Cackles hysterically]
Your secret is safe.
He is definitely a wacko.
"Wacko?"
Is that a technical term?
BRUCE: Listen...
...I won't need this anymore.
Thank you for giving me a new dream.
Don't work too late.
[Batman Forever theme song plays]