Beach Babes from Beyond (1993) Movie Script
[MUSIC PLAYING]
YANNA: Gork, do you really think
we should have left Xena alone?
What if she gets
into some trouble?
Don't worry, Yanna.
Everything will be fine.
Besides, what kind of trouble
could she possibly get into?
I trust her explicitly.
Now more than ever since she
dumped that geekazoid, Gonad.
Yeah, you're right.
But I still can't help worrying.
You know the old saying,
it's a mother's prerogative.
Yeah.
How could I forget?
[INAUDIBLE] Yanna, my
little nebula of love,
we got three whole
days without having
to listen to teenage gossip
on the telatransmitor.
And not having to wait in
line to use the fecal matter
neutralizer.
And, oh, I want to stop
off at this way station 36.
to get some of the special fuel
additive for the t-bird ship.
When you've got a beauty
like my t-bird ship
you want it to run with
maximum performance.
Hell, you never even drive it.
Yanna, you know
that's not true.
Just yesterday I
took it for a spin
and used nearly a
full tank of fuel.
That's why I need the additive.
YANNA: You think more about that
ship than you think about me.
GORK: It's just that
I've spent so much time
restoring the ship I
want it to run right, MY
little ring of Saturn.
That does it.
This the last time I'll
ever marry a man 30 years
younger than I am.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Don't mind us.
We want to borrow
some of your stuff.
You make the best garments.
Yeah, very chic for the
fashionable Desquizian
teenager of today.
I'm so flattered.
If you sold these in
stores you'd be rich.
I'd have money,
but no boyfriend.
No boyfriend is
better than Gonad.
Believe me.
Yeah, he's a mega-space
degree geekazoid.
And he probably has a
small cranial capacity.
Cheer up.
Boys are like from
another planet, anyways.
Who understand them?
Yeah, can't live with
them, can't disintegrate
them with a gamma death ray.
Yeah, I know.
Guess I just need
to forget about him.
I need to meet someone new.
- I'm bored.
Let's do something.
Like go to Astro-burger?
Boring.
What about Alpha
miniature golf.
You've got to be kidding.
Hey, we could cruise
Delta Alpha 43 solar system.
Isn't that where
planet Beta 45 is?
No way, guys.
That's off limits to everybody.
Know what would happen
if we got caught there?
We'd be in big trouble.
Are there boys there?
I don't know.
Besides, we don't even
have a ship to cruise in.
No, you can't be serious.
Your parental units are
away for three whole days.
Absolutely not.
They'll never know
if you use their ship.
They're parents.
They're telepathic
about these things.
- Whoa.
- Hey, keep out of there.
This is a rare vintage model.
Wow, a t-bird ship.
With black-hole compressor
nanoplasm drive,
delta-enriched fueled
carbs, four on the floor,
and the greatest stereo
this side of Arcticus.
Xena, does your dad take
you for rides in this?
He never takes us anywhere.
We'd have every guy in
the galaxy checking us out.
Yeah, to check out the ship.
- Can we take a ride?
- No.
Ah, come on.
Please?
Nothing's going to happen.
I promise.
I don't even have the
magnetic starter strip.
OK.
Just to Beta-45
and straight back.
Five, four, three, two, one.
[INAUDIBLE]
Slow down.
You worry too much.
So what do you think these
Betonian boys look like?
If there are any there.
What I want them to look
like is, lots of muscles,
piercing eyes,
hairless, cheekbones,
and a big cranial capacity.
What about you, Luna?
He's got to be
smart, a scientist,
concerned with the environment.
He's gotta be handsome,
trimmed, and have a--
A big cranial capacity.
What about you, Xena?
Well, he's got to be
artistic, sensitive, passionate.
He's got his [INAUDIBLE].
Definitely has to
be well traveled.
Most important, he's got to be
very down to Vasquez nature.
LUNA: And his cranial capacity?
Is that all you
ever think about?
Well, yeah, most of the time.
How far away do
you think we are?
About five light
years, I think.
That's all?
It's practically right
around the corner.
Oh, no.
I think my dad forgot to fill
up the auxiliary fuel points.
You didn't check?
And here's Beta 45.
This is not a good
place to [INAUDIBLE]..
Right.
Lock your windows.
You never know who will
come crawling around.
Dave, I'm really glad you
let me come out with you, man.
You're my best buddy.
Who else would I come with?
Wow.
California.
I can't believe
we're almost there.
Yes.
Now you're sure it's OK
to stay with your uncle?
Yeah, Uncle Ben
is the coolest.
I hope I run into
that big kahunas guy.
He's a hero to me.
He's a man amongst
men, a legend.
His legacy has guided me
on my journey to manhood.
What journey?
You're 18 years old.
You barely know
what life is about.
And you made this crazy
decision about your life
based on some mythical guy.
A guy can dream, can't he?
What's happening?
[SCREAMING]
LUNA: What are we going to do?
Hold on, guys.
Did you see that?
What?
That light?
It was probably a plane
or something, man.
- It's not a plane.
- Dave, no.
Do not start with that
UFO stuff again, man.
It's too kooky.
That was a UFO.
Yeah, I'd like to be
abducted by alien space babies
and have close encounters
of the 69th kind.
You've got a total
preoccupation with sex.
My achy back.
Hey, I offered to
drive, Dave, man.
Thanks.
I wanted to get
here in one piece.
[KNOCKING]
Wow.
It's the pacific ocean.
It looks just as
big as Lake Michigan.
Yeah.
That's Uncle Bud.
Come on.
Davey!
Bud.
All right.
You finally made it, huh?
- Yeah.
- OK.
- Hey, this is Jerry.
Hey.
Mr. Elrick, how you doing?
Don't call him Mr. Elrick.
And don't call
me late for lunch.
Uncle Bud.
- Uncle Bud.
XENA: Oh, man.
Are you guys OK?
Yeah.
Yeah.
XENA: Oh, my parents
are going to ship me
to the Death Star for this one.
LUNA: You should have checked
the fuel before we left.
What I should have done
is not listen to you.
SOLA: Girls, girls.
Let's not argue about this.
Let's just figure
a way out of here.
You're right.
Great.
Communicator's out.
Let's check out Beta-45.
I mean, we're here.
The Earth's
supposed to be safe,
but let's check to be sure.
Oxygen, nitrogen, some
hydrocarbons, sulfur.
It's a little polluted,
but we can breath.
Come on.
Let's go.
I made this lifestyle
choice a long time ago.
Used to be I felt terrible.
I'd do that-- I'd
do that red mean.
I'd do dairy products.
I'd surf in nasty beaches.
Now I have changed my life.
I'll probably live to be 100.
Got another eviction
notice for you, Bud.
Ooh, Hassler.
Just put it in the circular
bin with the rest of them,
will you?
Who are these two?
This is my nephew, David.
And this is his friend Jerry.
This is Hassler.
Welcome to California.
That's nothing to
worry about, right?
Exactly.
Look, why don't you fellas
go down to the beach
down there, will you?
I got a little business
I got to take care of.
Is there anything
we can do to help?
There is.
You can go down to that water.
You can enjoy yourself, have
a good time, chase some girls.
Enjoy California, OK?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Jerry, man, be cool.
It's like you haven't
seen a girl before.
Pinch me and tell
me I'm dreaming.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
I don't want to get sunburned.
If you're smart
you'd put some on.
No, I don't need no
stinking lotion, man.
You know, that girl over there
is going to eat her heart out,
buddy.
- OK, Mr. Sun God.
No, sir.
That's Apollo to you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey.
Hey, you were right, man.
The chicks dig you.
Thanks.
Man, this place is incredible.
While you were
sleeping this girl
walked by and winked at me.
No, she probably had
something in her eye, Dave.
Anyway, I'm thirsty.
Let's get something to drink.
This place is really hot.
- Sure.
DR. VEG: Here you
go, sweetheart.
Thank you.
How can I help you guys?
- Hey.
Yeah, can I get a Coke
and a cheeseburger?
We don't serve animal
products or raw sugar here.
Listen, I'm allergic to
anything with vegetables in it.
Pizza?
I could make you one with
soy cheese on ciabatta.
I'll have one of those.
And how about a glass of water?
You got it.
Could I get one of
those, too, please?
- You got it.
- Thank you.
I'll have the usual.
One teriyaki tofu
burrito coming up.
Food for the soul, man.
Yeah, whatever.
There you go boys.
Hey, thanks, man.
Put it on my tab, OK?
Do you want this on this
year's tab or last year's tab?
Whatever, man.
Dr. Veg is a genius.
He was a full professor
at MIT in Physics.
We used his propulsion
system in the space shuttle.
Where you guys staying?
My Uncle Bud's,
down the beach.
Wow.
You're Bud's nephew?
Why didn't you say so?
Yeah, Bud, he's a heavy
dude for an old guy.
Thanks, Zig.
Bud and I are the same age.
Old guy, I've never
been called that before.
Who are you looking at?
Who are those people
with Bud down there?
You didn't know
that Bud's nephew
came into town for the summer?
It's too bad he won't have
any place to stay after I
get done with his uncle.
You know, I just don't think
you're serious about getting
that dead beat off the beach.
Let me do it my way and
we'll have him in jail.
Let's do it legally.
I've known him for a long time.
He's a neighbor.
Well, that takes forever.
The contest is in three days.
Well, if Sun Bun
likes your designs
and invests in your company,
uses their Marketing Cloud.
Well, the sky is the limit.
But if you don't win,
you could go under.
Unfortunately, you're right.
Of course I am.
Would you mind if I sat in
on your catalog photo session?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is a swimsuit
catalog shoot, not hustler.
I am just capturing
their essential essence.
I'm making a statement here
about saving the ocean,
the rural ecosystem, and--
Jack, just shoot what
I tell you to shoot.
Say, do you have a list
of their phone numbers?
What for?
They might need
some representation,
some counseling,
maybe some guidance.
Hassler, on your own time.
Oh, you-- oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Up with your chest.
Up.
Stomach's in.
Love the camera.
I'm beat.
Let's walk around
those rocks over there.
Maybe we'll run
into some Betonians.
I hope they haven't
all died or something.
What I wouldn't give
for a drink right now.
What you do it with
Gonad for a drink?
You're sick.
What are you going to do
if we run into Betonians?
Run like hell.
I heard if they catch you,
they cook you and eat you.
Stop it.
Why?
Are you scared?
No.
Don't they say when your
vehicle breaks down you're
supposed to stay with it?
It's a little late for that.
Babes out here are
easy to figure out, man.
It's like, you just ignore them.
Don't even try to
understand them.
It's like they're
from another planet.
What do you mean?
You see, out here,
they're all amazing looking.
I mean, all of them.
They're a dime a dozen.
It's all in your attitude.
Is there, like, a
walk or something?
Something like this.
[LAUGHTER]
Kind of like that?
It's cool.
You guys will get it.
These are very interesting
specimens, the Betonians.
What are they doing?
Ingesting nutrients and doing
some sort of mating rituals.
They're not the
most graceful bunch.
[LAUGHTER]
Did you hear something?
It must be the
Santa Ana winds.
They're kind of cute.
I wonder if they eat?
I'd hate to be lunch.
I think we should
talk to them.
Sola.
What if they take us captive?
So anyway, you guys be cool.
You'll get some girls.
Hi, beta boys.
Whoa.
Be still my beating heart.
I'm with my friends and
our vehicle ran out of fuel.
And we got a little lost.
I'll say.
Is your vehicle a submarine?
No, it's a spaceship.
Shut up.
California is a great place.
DAVEY: You guys want
to hang out with us?
I mean, my uncle
has a place here.
Sure.
Having a place on the
beach will do it every time.
They're kind of
cute for beta's.
Is your settlement that way?
You could call it that.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Why is your skin so red?
Well, like I was on this
wave the size of a house.
I crashed right through the
tube and I hit it really hard.
I thought I was going to die.
These tattoos are an ancient
Sumarian symbol of manhood.
That's very exciting.
So where are you girls from?
You got some kind of accent.
We're exchange students.
Yeah, it's like-- it's
like Swedish or something.
Yeah, that's it.
We're Swedish.
- Cool.
Om.
All right.
All right.
Got your brewskis here.
Got your brewskiS.
Thanks.
OK.
All right.
And last but not least.
Now ladies, gentlemen,
toast to new friends.
To new friends.
To new friends.
What do you call this drink?
It's beer.
I'd like some more.
Oh, my God.
Ouch.
Oh, Jesus.
Ow.
Ah.
Must be radiation poisoning.
Hang on, partner.
I got something just for you.
Uncle Bud's sunburn
cure, suntan lotion,
and, uh, barbecue sauce.
Here you better do that.
You're a little more
cuter than I am.
DAVE: That stuff really works.
Yeah, it does.
All right, ladies.
I have for you dessert.
Uncle Bud's soy milk
shake with honey.
Tell me what you think.
Oh, wow.
This stuff's strong.
I feel warm all over.
Yeah, I'm getting
a contact buzz, man.
It's like a chain reaction.
I'm getting warm because
she's getting warm.
Luna.
Oh, yeah.
XENA: Luna, I-- I didn't
know you were like this.
I'm not.
Yeah, well, I'm going
to take a little walk.
I'm not normally
like this either.
DAVE: You want to go for a walk?
Sure.
And I'm going to show
you the [INAUDIBLE]..
I'm normally not like this.
This is a great experience.
I must collect data.
God, I love California.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DAVE: It's so clear out.
Feels like I could
just reach out
and grab one of those stars.
Yeah.
This part of the galaxy
has such a beautiful sky.
Yeah.
You know, I really
want to kiss you.
But I'm afraid if I do--
I want you to.
There's just some things
you don't know about me yet.
Some things I don't
know about you.
You know?
Like you've got
a terminal disease?
Or a boyfriend with
a glandular problem
that could crush my
head like a grape?
You're from another planet?
You're really a man?
Now what could be so bad?
You're the sweetest
boy I've ever met, Dave.
Well, gosh, ma'am.
It weren't nothing.
Just some things I
can't tell you right now.
Just hold me.
I feel like I can trust you.
I don't really have
anywhere else to turn.
You're still on taking a chance.
Hey, boy scouts honor.
What could be so terrible?
I'm not from Sweden.
I'm from the planet Vasquez.
You know that UFO
you said you saw?
Yeah.
That was me, Sola,
and Luna crash landing.
See, we took my
parent's ship out.
What?
I live a few light
years away from here.
You're telling
me you're an alien?
You said you
believed in UFO's.
Yeah, but aliens are green and
have big heads, and bad breath,
and ten eyes.
I knew you
wouldn't believe me.
No, it's-- it's just that
people make fun of me when
I tell them I believe in UFO's.
I guess I'm going to
have to prove it to you.
Oh, my gosh.
Holy shit.
You're a space babe.
Can I go inside?
Sure.
You got to be careful.
It's my father's
pride and joy here.
This is really cool.
What-- what's this do?
No, no, no, no.
That's a gamma death ray.
We use that to destroy
asteroids in the galaxy.
Let's see.
We've got the windshield
wipers over here.
Air conditioning, heater.
Hi-Fi stereo.
Ooh.
Horn right here.
Basic cup holder.
A real UFO.
Sure is.
Promise to keep this a secret.
Who am I going to tell?
Geraldo?
I mean, what happened?
How did you get here?
Well, my parents
went on vacation.
Sola convinced me to come here.
We ran out of fuel,
and here we are.
That's a tough break.
Can I help?
Well, we need a
special fuel to get back.
Hey, maybe that
Dr. Veg guy can help.
Hey.
Good morning, Dave.
Can I fix some breakfast
for you and your friend?
I was wondering--
I mean, I heard you used to
be an astro-scientist and all.
And I was just wondering if
maybe with all your skills
and expertise you could
replicate this special fuel
additive from the van.
Maybe five gallons?
I could probably
whip up a batch.
But to tell you the truth, I'm
not in that line of business
anymore.
Unless it's for
peaceful purposes.
You know, ever since
they used the space
shuttle for military
missions, well, I bailed.
Where did you find this chick?
- Well--
I don't want to know about it.
If the CIA finds out
it's big trouble.
Thanks for the advice.
Hey, no problem.
I'm a sucker for a pretty face.
No matter where she's from.
- Thanks, doc.
- See you later.
All right.
Surf's up, guys.
Last one in is a geek.
Let's go.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Where did you
get that swimsuit?
It's so cool.
Oh, thanks.
I made it myself.
Wow.
Bikini contest.
First place winner, $30,000.
- Woe.
Sponsored by Sun
Bun tanning lotion.
Wow.
Xena you should enter.
You think?
Oh, yeah.
What's wrong?
Well, looks like this time I'm
really going to lose the place.
Unless I can fix it up.
How much is that
going to cost?
About $30,000.
Xena, why don't you
enter the contest?
If we win we can give
the money to bud.
That's a great idea.
Beta money means
nothing to us.
XENA: I know.
- Sure.
We'll all model.
- Not me.
- Wait a minute.
Come on, kids.
You don't have to
do this for me.
I mean, what the heck?
Maybe Sally's right.
Maybe I need to grow
up, to get a job.
DAVE: Don't do that, Uncle Bud.
If you like your life the
way it is now, don't change.
We'll help you.
How much of a chance do
you think we have of winning?
You told me that nothing
is worth worrying about,
and keep a positive attitude.
Yeah, You got
to see the donut.
Not just the whole.
Right.
Well then that settles it.
Let's get started right away.
Mr. Bun, come on in.
Are you ready for
the bikini preview?
Well, I'm not sure what
good it will do, but go ahead.
We're going to judge every
design on its own merit.
Mr. Bun, my attorney says
that if I win this could be
very lucrative for both of us.
Tell me, Sally, you've
lived out here for a while.
Are you friendly with
this guy, the big cahones?
I don't even know if he's alive.
Um, mhm.
Yes, sure, Bud.
I'd like to take some
surfing lessons from him.
I'm a big fan of his.
Sure.
So are we ready?
Girls.
Yeah, well, Mr. Bun, I'm hoping
that we do a lot of business
together.
Oh, my God.
And I know you're
one of the judges,
and I don't want to
temp you or anything.
Miss Mallow, this is
totally inappropriate.
I-- I'm sorry--
I didn't.
I'm sorry.
I'll pretend
this didn't happen.
Men, come on.
God, I hope I
didn't fuck that up.
Your uncle is the Big Kahunas?
David, why didn't
you tell me this?
I didn't know.
No wonder he has all
those trophies and surf
stuff at his house.
Hey, Xena.
Uh, look, I just wanted to
thank you for all the help
that you're trying to give me.
Oh, anything for
you, Uncle Bud.
Who is that girl?
Bu, you betrayed me.
You didn't tell me you
had another girlfriend.
Oh, Doc.
Are you OK?
Man, you have one
tough icicle up there.
But I think I got it.
All I have to do is strain
it through some heavy water
and pop it in the
oven until tomorrow.
And I think that should be it.
- All right.
Thanks, doc.
You're a champ.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
He's got a whole
harem in there.
He could have at least told me.
Those are really nice suits.
They're going to
win the contest.
Damn it.
What's wrong?
Hi.
Oh, I'm trying to put
together these suits
and I don't have all
the stuff I need.
It's driving me crazy.
For sewing?
Well, I've got that
stuff at my house.
I've even got a sewing machine.
You do?
SALLY: Who are you?
XENA: Xena crock.
What do you want with me?
Your bathing suit designs.
And I'm not going
to let you have Bud.
Bud?
I don't want Bud.
Dave's my boyfriend.
You young chicks
are all alike.
Going after a man that's old
enough to be your father.
What's going on here?
A way to get
Bud off the beach.
This is his girlfriend.
Sally, are you disturbed?
You've kidnapped her.
I'm not a criminal
defense lawyer.
Don't worry.
I know how much you
love Bud, but this
is not the way to win him back.
I'm not his girlfriend.
I'm only trying to
help him out right.
This is ridiculous.
I don't want to be a part of it.
First you still her
designs, and now this.
I'm out of here.
- Wait.
- Girls.
Everyone was right.
Betonians are [INAUDIBLE]
and dangerous.
Sir, I'm looking
for this chick, man.
She's got blond hair, and
she's sort of spacey, you know?
She's totally hot.
Have you seen her?
Take a look around, man.
You just described half
the girls on this beach.
Xena?
Xena?
Hey, Xena?
Hey.
Wow.
Excuse me.
Xena?
Xena?
[SCREAMING]
Pervert.
Jerk.
You pervert.
- Hey, Doc.
- Hey.
Have you seen Xena?
That girl I've been
hanging out with.
Yeah, she took off with Sally.
You know, I got to
tell you, that Sally
is always up to no good.
I'd watch out for her.
Maybe she's off thinking.
I mean, she just broke
up with her boyfriend
and now she likes Dave.
That could be.
Her last boyfriend
was such a jerk.
You know, this looks
just a little bit loose.
Ouch.
Not so tight.
Oh, you're hurting my arm.
Ouch.
She's at Sally's mansion.
So what?
Get her back here, man.
There's work to do.
It's not so simple.
I should have listened
to my parents.
To money.
To power.
- To fashion.
- To lust.
To therapy.
I'm sorry I have to do this.
I hope you don't mind.
I'll let you go
after the contest.
Sleep well.
Dude, this-- this Sally chick
really gives me the creeps.
I mean, I'm starting to get,
like, a really bad vibe.
I think I'm going to
stay here and keep watch.
OK.
Good idea.
Wish us luck.
Hey, guys, good luck.
[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]
Dave.
[DOORKNOB JIGGLING]
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
She stole my bathing suits.
She's going to try to claim
credit for them tomorrow.
OK, let's get them.
She's locked
them in the closet.
She's got the keys
upstairs with her.
All right.
I'll be back.
[SNORING]
Bud.
Bud, I love you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
Take me, Bud.
Oh, Bud, you're so hot.
You're so stinking hot.
Oh, take me, you big kahunas.
DAVE: Here's the keys.
Dude, this is where Sally
keeps all of her suits.
No, man, we'll
win fair and square.
Why?
Come on, Jerry.
All right.
Guys, hold on a minute.
Let me fix Sally's
suits for her.
What are you going to do?
You'll see at the contest.
We saved her.
And I got the suits.
- Oh, that's great.
- Oh, great.
Dave?
You saved me.
And I got the
fuel for your ship.
What's wrong?
Isn't that what I
was supposed to do?
Yeah, of course.
That means I have to go back.
I have to leave you.
And once I get there
I'll be grounded
for the rest of my life.
Probably never get to
leave Vasquez ever again.
Hey, we'll figure out a way.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Come on.
Everyone come over here.
Hey, we're going
to win this, right?
That's right.
Let's do this.
[CHEERING]
ANNOUNCER: Welcome,
I'd like to thank
you all for coming out
to the first annual Sun
Bun bikini open.
First prize is $30,000.
So let the contest begin.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND CHEERING]
WOMAN: Oh, wow.
Did you see [INAUDIBLE].
Wow.
These are awesome.
Like, I've never seen
anything like it.
[CHEERING]
ALL: Boo!
ANNOUNCER: The judges
have changed their minds.
Sally Mallow's bikinis
did not hold up.
One of the contest
rules, the bikini's
have to hold everything up.
So Xena [INAUDIBLE]
is the winner.
She wins $30,000.
Yeah.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you so much.
I especially like to
thank Dave, and Uncle Bud,
and Ziggy, and Jerry,
and Sola And Luna,
my two best friends
in the whole world,
and my parents for
making me possible,
all the little people on
the planet of [INAUDIBLE]..
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you so much.
[CHEERING]
What happened?
I put this chemical
on their bikinis
that turned into an acid
when they [INAUDIBLE]..
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Om.
Uncle Bud!
We won.
Now you can fix your place up.
You won!
Whoa!
Yeah, this is-- this is
what I meditated for.
This-- this is gnarly.
Oh, but now I feel
sorry for Sally.
You know, she and I, well,
we used to go out together.
You should have told me.
We were going to get
married, but I was young.
I didn't want to be tied down.
Now I'm kind of having
second thoughts.
You still care about her?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
Well, I know she
cares about you.
She doesn't want to
change you or anything.
Nothing like that.
She loves you just
the way you are.
It's kind of hard living
out on your own on the edge
all the time.
I think you should talk to her.
Yeah, don't you-- don't
you get tired living out
here on the beach by yourself?
Well, sure.
Every year the kids get
younger and younger,
and I get older and older.
I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
I wake up 20 years later
and everything's changed.
There's nothing wrong
with getting older.
Man, Why not?
I'll give it a chance.
What do I got to lose?
Hey, thanks.
Thank you.
OK.
Hey, wish me luck, kids, OK?
Hi.
Hi.
Mind if I join you?
If you want.
Now that I've made a
total fool of myself.
I'm, uh--
I'm sorry that you thought
I was going out with Xena.
She is just a little
bit too young for me.
Sorry.
- The things we do for love.
- Really.
So, you know, I--
I've been thinking.
Maybe we ought to get
back together again.
You really think we should?
Well, yeah.
Sure.
I mean, what the heck.
We were good together.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
All right.
Hi.
Are you going to introduce me?
Oh, sure.
This is a Bud,
big khans, Elrick.
And this is Mr. Sun Bun.
Been a fan of yours for years.
I just thought I'd
come over and say hi.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
Oh, Mr. Bun, Bud here
has this sunburn relief
formula that's incredible.
I mean, it's going
to revolutionize
sunburn relief ointments.
I think you should market it.
Could we name it after you?
Big Kahunas sunburn
relief ointment?
I'd be a brand name?
You'd be a consultant
and you'd make appearances.
This will take the
tanning world by storm.
I'm stunned.
I don't know what to say.
Tell me that you're lawyer
and my lawyer will be in touch.
You bet.
Oh, we'll see you later, boss.
That'd be great.
Bud, I am so proud of you.
Hey, Davy, look,
Sally and I, we--
we decided to tried it again.
- Really?
- Yeah.
We came to a new understanding.
Thanks to you and Xena.
Well, that's great, Uncle Bud.
Congratulations.
So, anyway, look--
we're going up to
Sally's tonight.
So you kids be careful and we'll
see you in the morning, huh?
Have fun.
OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
Hang loose.
You know, that
is seriously cool.
People at that age willing
to give it another shot.
I know, man.
I don't know how
my parents do it.
XENA: Yeah.
Well, mine our-- oh shit.
What?
My parents.
GORK: Yanna, did you have
to buy every souvenir
in the gift shop?
We can barely move
around in here.
YANNA: Why is it every young man
I marry ends up being so cheap.
GORK: You know, you were right.
This trip was exactly what
I needed to clear my head
and to recharge my space probe.
Recharge it you did, didn't you?
You know, but I'm still a
little worried about not
being able to reach Xena.
Yanna you worry too much.
She probably spent the
weekend at Sola's or Luna's.
Besides, she's a
big [INAUDIBLE]..
What kind of trouble could
she have possibly gotten into?
Thanks, Dr. Veg.
Yeah, thanks.
Good luck.
Wherever you're going.
It's a spaceship.
Told you.
Whoa, dude.
You mean, you're a
beach babe from beyond?
Bet your ass, dude.
Oh, wow.
Luna, I mean, what do I say?
Don't say anything.
We'll be back.
This has been great.
I'm so glad I met you.
I have to go.
I can't ask for your phone
number or your address?
I'll find you.
Don't worry.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
YANNA: Gork, do you really think
we should have left Xena alone?
What if she gets
into some trouble?
Don't worry, Yanna.
Everything will be fine.
Besides, what kind of trouble
could she possibly get into?
I trust her explicitly.
Now more than ever since she
dumped that geekazoid, Gonad.
Yeah, you're right.
But I still can't help worrying.
You know the old saying,
it's a mother's prerogative.
Yeah.
How could I forget?
[INAUDIBLE] Yanna, my
little nebula of love,
we got three whole
days without having
to listen to teenage gossip
on the telatransmitor.
And not having to wait in
line to use the fecal matter
neutralizer.
And, oh, I want to stop
off at this way station 36.
to get some of the special fuel
additive for the t-bird ship.
When you've got a beauty
like my t-bird ship
you want it to run with
maximum performance.
Hell, you never even drive it.
Yanna, you know
that's not true.
Just yesterday I
took it for a spin
and used nearly a
full tank of fuel.
That's why I need the additive.
YANNA: You think more about that
ship than you think about me.
GORK: It's just that
I've spent so much time
restoring the ship I
want it to run right, MY
little ring of Saturn.
That does it.
This the last time I'll
ever marry a man 30 years
younger than I am.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Don't mind us.
We want to borrow
some of your stuff.
You make the best garments.
Yeah, very chic for the
fashionable Desquizian
teenager of today.
I'm so flattered.
If you sold these in
stores you'd be rich.
I'd have money,
but no boyfriend.
No boyfriend is
better than Gonad.
Believe me.
Yeah, he's a mega-space
degree geekazoid.
And he probably has a
small cranial capacity.
Cheer up.
Boys are like from
another planet, anyways.
Who understand them?
Yeah, can't live with
them, can't disintegrate
them with a gamma death ray.
Yeah, I know.
Guess I just need
to forget about him.
I need to meet someone new.
- I'm bored.
Let's do something.
Like go to Astro-burger?
Boring.
What about Alpha
miniature golf.
You've got to be kidding.
Hey, we could cruise
Delta Alpha 43 solar system.
Isn't that where
planet Beta 45 is?
No way, guys.
That's off limits to everybody.
Know what would happen
if we got caught there?
We'd be in big trouble.
Are there boys there?
I don't know.
Besides, we don't even
have a ship to cruise in.
No, you can't be serious.
Your parental units are
away for three whole days.
Absolutely not.
They'll never know
if you use their ship.
They're parents.
They're telepathic
about these things.
- Whoa.
- Hey, keep out of there.
This is a rare vintage model.
Wow, a t-bird ship.
With black-hole compressor
nanoplasm drive,
delta-enriched fueled
carbs, four on the floor,
and the greatest stereo
this side of Arcticus.
Xena, does your dad take
you for rides in this?
He never takes us anywhere.
We'd have every guy in
the galaxy checking us out.
Yeah, to check out the ship.
- Can we take a ride?
- No.
Ah, come on.
Please?
Nothing's going to happen.
I promise.
I don't even have the
magnetic starter strip.
OK.
Just to Beta-45
and straight back.
Five, four, three, two, one.
[INAUDIBLE]
Slow down.
You worry too much.
So what do you think these
Betonian boys look like?
If there are any there.
What I want them to look
like is, lots of muscles,
piercing eyes,
hairless, cheekbones,
and a big cranial capacity.
What about you, Luna?
He's got to be
smart, a scientist,
concerned with the environment.
He's gotta be handsome,
trimmed, and have a--
A big cranial capacity.
What about you, Xena?
Well, he's got to be
artistic, sensitive, passionate.
He's got his [INAUDIBLE].
Definitely has to
be well traveled.
Most important, he's got to be
very down to Vasquez nature.
LUNA: And his cranial capacity?
Is that all you
ever think about?
Well, yeah, most of the time.
How far away do
you think we are?
About five light
years, I think.
That's all?
It's practically right
around the corner.
Oh, no.
I think my dad forgot to fill
up the auxiliary fuel points.
You didn't check?
And here's Beta 45.
This is not a good
place to [INAUDIBLE]..
Right.
Lock your windows.
You never know who will
come crawling around.
Dave, I'm really glad you
let me come out with you, man.
You're my best buddy.
Who else would I come with?
Wow.
California.
I can't believe
we're almost there.
Yes.
Now you're sure it's OK
to stay with your uncle?
Yeah, Uncle Ben
is the coolest.
I hope I run into
that big kahunas guy.
He's a hero to me.
He's a man amongst
men, a legend.
His legacy has guided me
on my journey to manhood.
What journey?
You're 18 years old.
You barely know
what life is about.
And you made this crazy
decision about your life
based on some mythical guy.
A guy can dream, can't he?
What's happening?
[SCREAMING]
LUNA: What are we going to do?
Hold on, guys.
Did you see that?
What?
That light?
It was probably a plane
or something, man.
- It's not a plane.
- Dave, no.
Do not start with that
UFO stuff again, man.
It's too kooky.
That was a UFO.
Yeah, I'd like to be
abducted by alien space babies
and have close encounters
of the 69th kind.
You've got a total
preoccupation with sex.
My achy back.
Hey, I offered to
drive, Dave, man.
Thanks.
I wanted to get
here in one piece.
[KNOCKING]
Wow.
It's the pacific ocean.
It looks just as
big as Lake Michigan.
Yeah.
That's Uncle Bud.
Come on.
Davey!
Bud.
All right.
You finally made it, huh?
- Yeah.
- OK.
- Hey, this is Jerry.
Hey.
Mr. Elrick, how you doing?
Don't call him Mr. Elrick.
And don't call
me late for lunch.
Uncle Bud.
- Uncle Bud.
XENA: Oh, man.
Are you guys OK?
Yeah.
Yeah.
XENA: Oh, my parents
are going to ship me
to the Death Star for this one.
LUNA: You should have checked
the fuel before we left.
What I should have done
is not listen to you.
SOLA: Girls, girls.
Let's not argue about this.
Let's just figure
a way out of here.
You're right.
Great.
Communicator's out.
Let's check out Beta-45.
I mean, we're here.
The Earth's
supposed to be safe,
but let's check to be sure.
Oxygen, nitrogen, some
hydrocarbons, sulfur.
It's a little polluted,
but we can breath.
Come on.
Let's go.
I made this lifestyle
choice a long time ago.
Used to be I felt terrible.
I'd do that-- I'd
do that red mean.
I'd do dairy products.
I'd surf in nasty beaches.
Now I have changed my life.
I'll probably live to be 100.
Got another eviction
notice for you, Bud.
Ooh, Hassler.
Just put it in the circular
bin with the rest of them,
will you?
Who are these two?
This is my nephew, David.
And this is his friend Jerry.
This is Hassler.
Welcome to California.
That's nothing to
worry about, right?
Exactly.
Look, why don't you fellas
go down to the beach
down there, will you?
I got a little business
I got to take care of.
Is there anything
we can do to help?
There is.
You can go down to that water.
You can enjoy yourself, have
a good time, chase some girls.
Enjoy California, OK?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Jerry, man, be cool.
It's like you haven't
seen a girl before.
Pinch me and tell
me I'm dreaming.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
I don't want to get sunburned.
If you're smart
you'd put some on.
No, I don't need no
stinking lotion, man.
You know, that girl over there
is going to eat her heart out,
buddy.
- OK, Mr. Sun God.
No, sir.
That's Apollo to you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey.
Hey, you were right, man.
The chicks dig you.
Thanks.
Man, this place is incredible.
While you were
sleeping this girl
walked by and winked at me.
No, she probably had
something in her eye, Dave.
Anyway, I'm thirsty.
Let's get something to drink.
This place is really hot.
- Sure.
DR. VEG: Here you
go, sweetheart.
Thank you.
How can I help you guys?
- Hey.
Yeah, can I get a Coke
and a cheeseburger?
We don't serve animal
products or raw sugar here.
Listen, I'm allergic to
anything with vegetables in it.
Pizza?
I could make you one with
soy cheese on ciabatta.
I'll have one of those.
And how about a glass of water?
You got it.
Could I get one of
those, too, please?
- You got it.
- Thank you.
I'll have the usual.
One teriyaki tofu
burrito coming up.
Food for the soul, man.
Yeah, whatever.
There you go boys.
Hey, thanks, man.
Put it on my tab, OK?
Do you want this on this
year's tab or last year's tab?
Whatever, man.
Dr. Veg is a genius.
He was a full professor
at MIT in Physics.
We used his propulsion
system in the space shuttle.
Where you guys staying?
My Uncle Bud's,
down the beach.
Wow.
You're Bud's nephew?
Why didn't you say so?
Yeah, Bud, he's a heavy
dude for an old guy.
Thanks, Zig.
Bud and I are the same age.
Old guy, I've never
been called that before.
Who are you looking at?
Who are those people
with Bud down there?
You didn't know
that Bud's nephew
came into town for the summer?
It's too bad he won't have
any place to stay after I
get done with his uncle.
You know, I just don't think
you're serious about getting
that dead beat off the beach.
Let me do it my way and
we'll have him in jail.
Let's do it legally.
I've known him for a long time.
He's a neighbor.
Well, that takes forever.
The contest is in three days.
Well, if Sun Bun
likes your designs
and invests in your company,
uses their Marketing Cloud.
Well, the sky is the limit.
But if you don't win,
you could go under.
Unfortunately, you're right.
Of course I am.
Would you mind if I sat in
on your catalog photo session?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is a swimsuit
catalog shoot, not hustler.
I am just capturing
their essential essence.
I'm making a statement here
about saving the ocean,
the rural ecosystem, and--
Jack, just shoot what
I tell you to shoot.
Say, do you have a list
of their phone numbers?
What for?
They might need
some representation,
some counseling,
maybe some guidance.
Hassler, on your own time.
Oh, you-- oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Up with your chest.
Up.
Stomach's in.
Love the camera.
I'm beat.
Let's walk around
those rocks over there.
Maybe we'll run
into some Betonians.
I hope they haven't
all died or something.
What I wouldn't give
for a drink right now.
What you do it with
Gonad for a drink?
You're sick.
What are you going to do
if we run into Betonians?
Run like hell.
I heard if they catch you,
they cook you and eat you.
Stop it.
Why?
Are you scared?
No.
Don't they say when your
vehicle breaks down you're
supposed to stay with it?
It's a little late for that.
Babes out here are
easy to figure out, man.
It's like, you just ignore them.
Don't even try to
understand them.
It's like they're
from another planet.
What do you mean?
You see, out here,
they're all amazing looking.
I mean, all of them.
They're a dime a dozen.
It's all in your attitude.
Is there, like, a
walk or something?
Something like this.
[LAUGHTER]
Kind of like that?
It's cool.
You guys will get it.
These are very interesting
specimens, the Betonians.
What are they doing?
Ingesting nutrients and doing
some sort of mating rituals.
They're not the
most graceful bunch.
[LAUGHTER]
Did you hear something?
It must be the
Santa Ana winds.
They're kind of cute.
I wonder if they eat?
I'd hate to be lunch.
I think we should
talk to them.
Sola.
What if they take us captive?
So anyway, you guys be cool.
You'll get some girls.
Hi, beta boys.
Whoa.
Be still my beating heart.
I'm with my friends and
our vehicle ran out of fuel.
And we got a little lost.
I'll say.
Is your vehicle a submarine?
No, it's a spaceship.
Shut up.
California is a great place.
DAVEY: You guys want
to hang out with us?
I mean, my uncle
has a place here.
Sure.
Having a place on the
beach will do it every time.
They're kind of
cute for beta's.
Is your settlement that way?
You could call it that.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Why is your skin so red?
Well, like I was on this
wave the size of a house.
I crashed right through the
tube and I hit it really hard.
I thought I was going to die.
These tattoos are an ancient
Sumarian symbol of manhood.
That's very exciting.
So where are you girls from?
You got some kind of accent.
We're exchange students.
Yeah, it's like-- it's
like Swedish or something.
Yeah, that's it.
We're Swedish.
- Cool.
Om.
All right.
All right.
Got your brewskis here.
Got your brewskiS.
Thanks.
OK.
All right.
And last but not least.
Now ladies, gentlemen,
toast to new friends.
To new friends.
To new friends.
What do you call this drink?
It's beer.
I'd like some more.
Oh, my God.
Ouch.
Oh, Jesus.
Ow.
Ah.
Must be radiation poisoning.
Hang on, partner.
I got something just for you.
Uncle Bud's sunburn
cure, suntan lotion,
and, uh, barbecue sauce.
Here you better do that.
You're a little more
cuter than I am.
DAVE: That stuff really works.
Yeah, it does.
All right, ladies.
I have for you dessert.
Uncle Bud's soy milk
shake with honey.
Tell me what you think.
Oh, wow.
This stuff's strong.
I feel warm all over.
Yeah, I'm getting
a contact buzz, man.
It's like a chain reaction.
I'm getting warm because
she's getting warm.
Luna.
Oh, yeah.
XENA: Luna, I-- I didn't
know you were like this.
I'm not.
Yeah, well, I'm going
to take a little walk.
I'm not normally
like this either.
DAVE: You want to go for a walk?
Sure.
And I'm going to show
you the [INAUDIBLE]..
I'm normally not like this.
This is a great experience.
I must collect data.
God, I love California.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DAVE: It's so clear out.
Feels like I could
just reach out
and grab one of those stars.
Yeah.
This part of the galaxy
has such a beautiful sky.
Yeah.
You know, I really
want to kiss you.
But I'm afraid if I do--
I want you to.
There's just some things
you don't know about me yet.
Some things I don't
know about you.
You know?
Like you've got
a terminal disease?
Or a boyfriend with
a glandular problem
that could crush my
head like a grape?
You're from another planet?
You're really a man?
Now what could be so bad?
You're the sweetest
boy I've ever met, Dave.
Well, gosh, ma'am.
It weren't nothing.
Just some things I
can't tell you right now.
Just hold me.
I feel like I can trust you.
I don't really have
anywhere else to turn.
You're still on taking a chance.
Hey, boy scouts honor.
What could be so terrible?
I'm not from Sweden.
I'm from the planet Vasquez.
You know that UFO
you said you saw?
Yeah.
That was me, Sola,
and Luna crash landing.
See, we took my
parent's ship out.
What?
I live a few light
years away from here.
You're telling
me you're an alien?
You said you
believed in UFO's.
Yeah, but aliens are green and
have big heads, and bad breath,
and ten eyes.
I knew you
wouldn't believe me.
No, it's-- it's just that
people make fun of me when
I tell them I believe in UFO's.
I guess I'm going to
have to prove it to you.
Oh, my gosh.
Holy shit.
You're a space babe.
Can I go inside?
Sure.
You got to be careful.
It's my father's
pride and joy here.
This is really cool.
What-- what's this do?
No, no, no, no.
That's a gamma death ray.
We use that to destroy
asteroids in the galaxy.
Let's see.
We've got the windshield
wipers over here.
Air conditioning, heater.
Hi-Fi stereo.
Ooh.
Horn right here.
Basic cup holder.
A real UFO.
Sure is.
Promise to keep this a secret.
Who am I going to tell?
Geraldo?
I mean, what happened?
How did you get here?
Well, my parents
went on vacation.
Sola convinced me to come here.
We ran out of fuel,
and here we are.
That's a tough break.
Can I help?
Well, we need a
special fuel to get back.
Hey, maybe that
Dr. Veg guy can help.
Hey.
Good morning, Dave.
Can I fix some breakfast
for you and your friend?
I was wondering--
I mean, I heard you used to
be an astro-scientist and all.
And I was just wondering if
maybe with all your skills
and expertise you could
replicate this special fuel
additive from the van.
Maybe five gallons?
I could probably
whip up a batch.
But to tell you the truth, I'm
not in that line of business
anymore.
Unless it's for
peaceful purposes.
You know, ever since
they used the space
shuttle for military
missions, well, I bailed.
Where did you find this chick?
- Well--
I don't want to know about it.
If the CIA finds out
it's big trouble.
Thanks for the advice.
Hey, no problem.
I'm a sucker for a pretty face.
No matter where she's from.
- Thanks, doc.
- See you later.
All right.
Surf's up, guys.
Last one in is a geek.
Let's go.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Where did you
get that swimsuit?
It's so cool.
Oh, thanks.
I made it myself.
Wow.
Bikini contest.
First place winner, $30,000.
- Woe.
Sponsored by Sun
Bun tanning lotion.
Wow.
Xena you should enter.
You think?
Oh, yeah.
What's wrong?
Well, looks like this time I'm
really going to lose the place.
Unless I can fix it up.
How much is that
going to cost?
About $30,000.
Xena, why don't you
enter the contest?
If we win we can give
the money to bud.
That's a great idea.
Beta money means
nothing to us.
XENA: I know.
- Sure.
We'll all model.
- Not me.
- Wait a minute.
Come on, kids.
You don't have to
do this for me.
I mean, what the heck?
Maybe Sally's right.
Maybe I need to grow
up, to get a job.
DAVE: Don't do that, Uncle Bud.
If you like your life the
way it is now, don't change.
We'll help you.
How much of a chance do
you think we have of winning?
You told me that nothing
is worth worrying about,
and keep a positive attitude.
Yeah, You got
to see the donut.
Not just the whole.
Right.
Well then that settles it.
Let's get started right away.
Mr. Bun, come on in.
Are you ready for
the bikini preview?
Well, I'm not sure what
good it will do, but go ahead.
We're going to judge every
design on its own merit.
Mr. Bun, my attorney says
that if I win this could be
very lucrative for both of us.
Tell me, Sally, you've
lived out here for a while.
Are you friendly with
this guy, the big cahones?
I don't even know if he's alive.
Um, mhm.
Yes, sure, Bud.
I'd like to take some
surfing lessons from him.
I'm a big fan of his.
Sure.
So are we ready?
Girls.
Yeah, well, Mr. Bun, I'm hoping
that we do a lot of business
together.
Oh, my God.
And I know you're
one of the judges,
and I don't want to
temp you or anything.
Miss Mallow, this is
totally inappropriate.
I-- I'm sorry--
I didn't.
I'm sorry.
I'll pretend
this didn't happen.
Men, come on.
God, I hope I
didn't fuck that up.
Your uncle is the Big Kahunas?
David, why didn't
you tell me this?
I didn't know.
No wonder he has all
those trophies and surf
stuff at his house.
Hey, Xena.
Uh, look, I just wanted to
thank you for all the help
that you're trying to give me.
Oh, anything for
you, Uncle Bud.
Who is that girl?
Bu, you betrayed me.
You didn't tell me you
had another girlfriend.
Oh, Doc.
Are you OK?
Man, you have one
tough icicle up there.
But I think I got it.
All I have to do is strain
it through some heavy water
and pop it in the
oven until tomorrow.
And I think that should be it.
- All right.
Thanks, doc.
You're a champ.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
He's got a whole
harem in there.
He could have at least told me.
Those are really nice suits.
They're going to
win the contest.
Damn it.
What's wrong?
Hi.
Oh, I'm trying to put
together these suits
and I don't have all
the stuff I need.
It's driving me crazy.
For sewing?
Well, I've got that
stuff at my house.
I've even got a sewing machine.
You do?
SALLY: Who are you?
XENA: Xena crock.
What do you want with me?
Your bathing suit designs.
And I'm not going
to let you have Bud.
Bud?
I don't want Bud.
Dave's my boyfriend.
You young chicks
are all alike.
Going after a man that's old
enough to be your father.
What's going on here?
A way to get
Bud off the beach.
This is his girlfriend.
Sally, are you disturbed?
You've kidnapped her.
I'm not a criminal
defense lawyer.
Don't worry.
I know how much you
love Bud, but this
is not the way to win him back.
I'm not his girlfriend.
I'm only trying to
help him out right.
This is ridiculous.
I don't want to be a part of it.
First you still her
designs, and now this.
I'm out of here.
- Wait.
- Girls.
Everyone was right.
Betonians are [INAUDIBLE]
and dangerous.
Sir, I'm looking
for this chick, man.
She's got blond hair, and
she's sort of spacey, you know?
She's totally hot.
Have you seen her?
Take a look around, man.
You just described half
the girls on this beach.
Xena?
Xena?
Hey, Xena?
Hey.
Wow.
Excuse me.
Xena?
Xena?
[SCREAMING]
Pervert.
Jerk.
You pervert.
- Hey, Doc.
- Hey.
Have you seen Xena?
That girl I've been
hanging out with.
Yeah, she took off with Sally.
You know, I got to
tell you, that Sally
is always up to no good.
I'd watch out for her.
Maybe she's off thinking.
I mean, she just broke
up with her boyfriend
and now she likes Dave.
That could be.
Her last boyfriend
was such a jerk.
You know, this looks
just a little bit loose.
Ouch.
Not so tight.
Oh, you're hurting my arm.
Ouch.
She's at Sally's mansion.
So what?
Get her back here, man.
There's work to do.
It's not so simple.
I should have listened
to my parents.
To money.
To power.
- To fashion.
- To lust.
To therapy.
I'm sorry I have to do this.
I hope you don't mind.
I'll let you go
after the contest.
Sleep well.
Dude, this-- this Sally chick
really gives me the creeps.
I mean, I'm starting to get,
like, a really bad vibe.
I think I'm going to
stay here and keep watch.
OK.
Good idea.
Wish us luck.
Hey, guys, good luck.
[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]
Dave.
[DOORKNOB JIGGLING]
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
She stole my bathing suits.
She's going to try to claim
credit for them tomorrow.
OK, let's get them.
She's locked
them in the closet.
She's got the keys
upstairs with her.
All right.
I'll be back.
[SNORING]
Bud.
Bud, I love you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
Take me, Bud.
Oh, Bud, you're so hot.
You're so stinking hot.
Oh, take me, you big kahunas.
DAVE: Here's the keys.
Dude, this is where Sally
keeps all of her suits.
No, man, we'll
win fair and square.
Why?
Come on, Jerry.
All right.
Guys, hold on a minute.
Let me fix Sally's
suits for her.
What are you going to do?
You'll see at the contest.
We saved her.
And I got the suits.
- Oh, that's great.
- Oh, great.
Dave?
You saved me.
And I got the
fuel for your ship.
What's wrong?
Isn't that what I
was supposed to do?
Yeah, of course.
That means I have to go back.
I have to leave you.
And once I get there
I'll be grounded
for the rest of my life.
Probably never get to
leave Vasquez ever again.
Hey, we'll figure out a way.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Come on.
Everyone come over here.
Hey, we're going
to win this, right?
That's right.
Let's do this.
[CHEERING]
ANNOUNCER: Welcome,
I'd like to thank
you all for coming out
to the first annual Sun
Bun bikini open.
First prize is $30,000.
So let the contest begin.
[MUSIC PLAYING AND CHEERING]
WOMAN: Oh, wow.
Did you see [INAUDIBLE].
Wow.
These are awesome.
Like, I've never seen
anything like it.
[CHEERING]
ALL: Boo!
ANNOUNCER: The judges
have changed their minds.
Sally Mallow's bikinis
did not hold up.
One of the contest
rules, the bikini's
have to hold everything up.
So Xena [INAUDIBLE]
is the winner.
She wins $30,000.
Yeah.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you so much.
I especially like to
thank Dave, and Uncle Bud,
and Ziggy, and Jerry,
and Sola And Luna,
my two best friends
in the whole world,
and my parents for
making me possible,
all the little people on
the planet of [INAUDIBLE]..
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you so much.
[CHEERING]
What happened?
I put this chemical
on their bikinis
that turned into an acid
when they [INAUDIBLE]..
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Om.
Uncle Bud!
We won.
Now you can fix your place up.
You won!
Whoa!
Yeah, this is-- this is
what I meditated for.
This-- this is gnarly.
Oh, but now I feel
sorry for Sally.
You know, she and I, well,
we used to go out together.
You should have told me.
We were going to get
married, but I was young.
I didn't want to be tied down.
Now I'm kind of having
second thoughts.
You still care about her?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
Well, I know she
cares about you.
She doesn't want to
change you or anything.
Nothing like that.
She loves you just
the way you are.
It's kind of hard living
out on your own on the edge
all the time.
I think you should talk to her.
Yeah, don't you-- don't
you get tired living out
here on the beach by yourself?
Well, sure.
Every year the kids get
younger and younger,
and I get older and older.
I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
I wake up 20 years later
and everything's changed.
There's nothing wrong
with getting older.
Man, Why not?
I'll give it a chance.
What do I got to lose?
Hey, thanks.
Thank you.
OK.
Hey, wish me luck, kids, OK?
Hi.
Hi.
Mind if I join you?
If you want.
Now that I've made a
total fool of myself.
I'm, uh--
I'm sorry that you thought
I was going out with Xena.
She is just a little
bit too young for me.
Sorry.
- The things we do for love.
- Really.
So, you know, I--
I've been thinking.
Maybe we ought to get
back together again.
You really think we should?
Well, yeah.
Sure.
I mean, what the heck.
We were good together.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
All right.
Hi.
Are you going to introduce me?
Oh, sure.
This is a Bud,
big khans, Elrick.
And this is Mr. Sun Bun.
Been a fan of yours for years.
I just thought I'd
come over and say hi.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
Oh, Mr. Bun, Bud here
has this sunburn relief
formula that's incredible.
I mean, it's going
to revolutionize
sunburn relief ointments.
I think you should market it.
Could we name it after you?
Big Kahunas sunburn
relief ointment?
I'd be a brand name?
You'd be a consultant
and you'd make appearances.
This will take the
tanning world by storm.
I'm stunned.
I don't know what to say.
Tell me that you're lawyer
and my lawyer will be in touch.
You bet.
Oh, we'll see you later, boss.
That'd be great.
Bud, I am so proud of you.
Hey, Davy, look,
Sally and I, we--
we decided to tried it again.
- Really?
- Yeah.
We came to a new understanding.
Thanks to you and Xena.
Well, that's great, Uncle Bud.
Congratulations.
So, anyway, look--
we're going up to
Sally's tonight.
So you kids be careful and we'll
see you in the morning, huh?
Have fun.
OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
Hang loose.
You know, that
is seriously cool.
People at that age willing
to give it another shot.
I know, man.
I don't know how
my parents do it.
XENA: Yeah.
Well, mine our-- oh shit.
What?
My parents.
GORK: Yanna, did you have
to buy every souvenir
in the gift shop?
We can barely move
around in here.
YANNA: Why is it every young man
I marry ends up being so cheap.
GORK: You know, you were right.
This trip was exactly what
I needed to clear my head
and to recharge my space probe.
Recharge it you did, didn't you?
You know, but I'm still a
little worried about not
being able to reach Xena.
Yanna you worry too much.
She probably spent the
weekend at Sola's or Luna's.
Besides, she's a
big [INAUDIBLE]..
What kind of trouble could
she have possibly gotten into?
Thanks, Dr. Veg.
Yeah, thanks.
Good luck.
Wherever you're going.
It's a spaceship.
Told you.
Whoa, dude.
You mean, you're a
beach babe from beyond?
Bet your ass, dude.
Oh, wow.
Luna, I mean, what do I say?
Don't say anything.
We'll be back.
This has been great.
I'm so glad I met you.
I have to go.
I can't ask for your phone
number or your address?
I'll find you.
Don't worry.
[MUSIC PLAYING]