Beach, The (2000) Movie Script
My name is Richard.
So what else
do you need to know...
stuff about my family
or where I'm from?
None of that matters...
not once you cross the ocean
and cut yourself loose
Looking for something
more beautiful,
something more exciting...
and, yes, I admit...
something more dangerous.
So after 18 hours
in the back of an airplane,
and absolutely no sleep...
I finally touched down...
Hey, you! How about you?
in Bangkok.
Want to go to the waterfall?
Come on! Floating market!
Cheap for you!
Come on! Hey!
Hey, you need
somewhere to stay?
No. I'll be fine.
I'll find my own place.
Thanks.
What do you want, man?
And this is it--
Bangkok:
good-time city,
gateway to southeast Asia,
where dollars
and deutschmarks
get turned into
counterfeit watches
and genuine scars.
Good time!
Boy, girl, fucking.
No problem.
This is where the hungry
come to feed.
You want to drink
snake blood?
Wait a minute.
Did you say snake blood?
Oh, yeah.
No, thanks.
What is wrong with snake blood?
I just don't like the idea.
Oh, maybe you're scared.
Afraid of somethin' new?
No. I just don't like
the idea, that's all.
Ha! Like every tourist--
you want it all be safe,
just like America.
So never refuse an invitation.
Never resist the unfamiliar.
Never fail to be polite...
Gentlemen...
that was excellent.
And never outstay your welcome.
Just keep your mind open
and suck in the experience,
and if it hurts...
it's probably worth it.
Hey.
Good evening.
Hi.
Can I get a room, please?
Yes.
Roger. They need
some napalm down there
at tree line.
Can you try and put it down there?
The only downer
is everyone's got the same idea.
We all travel thousands
of miles just to watch TV
and check into somewhere
with all the comforts of home.
And you gotta ask yourself...
Don't worry, man!
We'll have this place
cleaned up and ready
for us in a jiffy,
so don't you worry!
what is the point of that?
Ahem!
Et voila.
Thank you.
Bon soir.
Bon soir.
Good night.
And as for traveling alone,
Fuck it.
If that's the way
it has to be,
then that's the way it is.
Everybody happy!
Everybody havin'
a good time, eh?
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Please shut up, okay?
Bastard parasites!
Parasites!
Yeah. That's fucking great!
Cancers! Bastard cancers!
The big, chunky charlie
is eatin' up
the whole fuckin' world!
Hey!
Hey, you!
You got anything to smoke?
No, I don't have anything to smoke.
That's no problem, pal, 'cause, uh...
I've got loads of the fucking stuff.
Oh!
You understand what I'm sayin'?
Yeah.
No, you don't.
No, you're right. I don't.
Ah!
That's better!
Thanks.
It was the beach...
you understand?
The beach?
It was too...
beautiful, too much input,
too much...sensation.
I tried to keep it under control,
but it just keeps spilling out
and spilling out and spilling out.
Right.
You see, um...
she's on an island...
and that island is--
is perfect. I mean--
I mean real perfection,
you know?
I'm not just talkin' about...
"Oh, that's nice."
It's the real fucking deal, okay?
Perfect.
It's just like a--
a lagoon, you know,
A tidal lagoon
that's sealed in by cliffs,
totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'...
forbidden.
And nobody can ever,
ever, ever, ever go there.
Ever.
But a few people went...
once upon a time...
men and women with ideals,
you understand?
I'm not just talkin'
about the usual travelin',
fucking wanks.
do you believe
in that place?
No.
But I guess you're gonna tell me
that I should, right?
It doesn't even fucking matter
what I think anymore.
It's up to you.
Ideals, eh?
We were just
fucking parasites!
The big, chunky charlie!
See, I was the one that
was tryin' to find the cure.
Procurer of the cure.
And I said to them,
"You've got to leave.
You've got to leave this place."
But they wouldn't listen.
No offense and all,
but...
you're fucked in the head, right?
There, Richard.
It's been nice
knowin' ya, man.
Yeah. You, too.
Be careful!
Electric-- Electricity!
Ma'am!
Ma'am!
Chill, man. No worry.
Hey, man,
there is a letter
for you.
A what?
Letter on your door.
No fuckin' way.
Do you...
Hello?
You hope...
and you dream.
But you never believe
that something's
gonna happen for you,
not like it does in the movies.
And when it actually does...
you want it to feel different...
more visceral...
more real.
I was waiting for it to hit me...
but it just wouldn't happen.
A name
of Mr. Daffy Duck.
Birthplace--
Never-Never Land?
Gonna fuck up
all the paperwork.
The police were pissed
because he was traveling
under a false passport.
Go ahead.
Sign the statement.
It's okay.
It just say he cut his wrists,
already dead when you found him.
But they didn't ask me
about the map, so...
No problem.
I didn't tell 'em.
You have a nice day.
Good luck.
Excuse me.
Look, I mean...
this island may not
actually even exist,
and even if it does,
I don't even know
if we can get there or not.
I just wondered if you
wanted to come with me.
That's all.
Hey, you wanna take a hike?
Uh, a trip, a journey...
with your girlfriend
and me?
I mean, the two of you
and me, together?
I'm talking about the secret island.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just feel like everyone
tries to do somethin' different,
but you always wind up
doin' the same damn thing.
I realized that I
had absolutely no idea
of how I was gonna get there.
But Etienne--
and I have to hand it to the guy--
was great.
I mean, he organized
the whole thing:
tickets, time tables,
the whole damn trip--
Bangkok to Surat Thani,
Surat Thani to Na Thon,
Na Thon to Chawang--
at less than 400 baht.
Trust me, it's a very good deal.
We were headed
for the great unknown,
but to get there,
we had to follow
the regular tourist trail.
# A little less pushin' #
# Or shovin', take it easy #
#You could even get sleazy #
# Come around #
#Watch a movie #
#With the sound down #
# And get woozy #
We are fine. It's arranged.
Tomorrow morning.
Oh, great, man.
Nice work.
There's one problem.
He will not take us
to the island.
It's in the National Park,
and it's forbidden to go there.
But we are allowed
to travel to this one
to stay for one night.
Yeah, yeah. No.
See, that's the wrong one.
Yeah, I know that.
Right, but how do we
get from there to there?
We swim.
We swim?
Yeah.
We leave our rucksacks
on this island,
and then we swim.
You can swim, can't you, Richard?
Of course I can swim.
So, no problem.
Okay, so how far is it, though?
I don't know.
Cool. Cool.
Not far at all.
Stop it, Richard.
It will be worth it.
An adventure,
and just the 3 of us!
"Can you swim?"
Of course I can swim.
"Oh, yeah, I am French,
and I have zee beautiful
girlfriend, too, eh?"
Great!
God damn it!
Locked out, huh?
Yeah.
Lost your key?
Bummer.
Yeah, bummer.
So you wanna grab a beer or somethin'?
You're probably better off
without her, anyway, bro.
Sammy, how the fuck would you know
if he's better off without her or not?
You've never even met her!
I'm just tryin' to help the guy
through the dark times.
It's not a problem.
You see, Zeph?
It's not a problem.
Change the fuckin' subject.
All right. Let's talk about
how you spend an hour
in front of the mirror every day.
Oh, that's nice.
You know this guy?
He likes to wipe his ass
with tree leaves.
He thinks he's some sort
of jungle commando.
- i swear to God.
- whatever.
Damn.
I presume you know the story
of the Kentucky-fried mouse.
Yeah.
A woman bites into a chicken leg,
and it turns out to be a...
a mouse...
right?
- Right.
- A mouse.
It's an urban myth.
Exactly. It always happened
to a friend of a friend
of someone else.
So?
So, I guess there's this urban myth
goin' around here at the moment.
It's about a beach.
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
Huh.
And this beach is perfect, man.
It's on an island, right?
Hidden from the sea.
Now, imagine, you got...
pure white sand...
crystal-clear water...
palm trees.
Yeah. With coconuts and shit.
Yo, tell him the best part, dawg.
Plus...
enough dope, Richard,
to smoke all day every day
for the rest of your goddamn life!
Yeah! Mad weed!
There's only a few people
who know exactly where it is,
and they keep it absolutely secret.
Of course, no one's actually
ever met any of these people,
only met somebody who has.
You know what I mean?
Exactly. It's a Kentucky-fried mouse.
Although, I must say,
if l had a key
to a place like that,
I'd keep it to myself,
'cause you don't want
every fucking asshole
in Thailand turnin' up.
Yeah, yeah.
So what do you think
about that story, Richard?
It's good.
It's a good story.
- Hey, you!
- Jesus.
I got your key!
Now, I know it wasn't
a part of the plan,
but I made a decision
to leave a copy of the map.
I'm not gonna say it was
the best decision I ever made.
I told myself that spreading news
was a part of a traveler's nature,
but if l was being
completely honest,
I was just like everybody else...
shit-scared of the great unknown...
desperate to take
a little piece of home with me.
Richard!
Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah. I'm comin'.
Let's go.
Francoise?
Etienne will be angry
if l wake him.
He thinks I waste time
taking photographs of the sky.
Oh, God.
I think so, too.
Yeah?
Have a look.
One night, I will get
the perfect photograph.
Hi.
You realize that...
in the eternity of space...
there's probably a planet
out there, right...
just like this one...
where another you
is photographing
back down towards us.
I mean, essentially,
you are photographing yourself
in a parallel universe.
Incredible.
Yeah.
I mean, there are
infinite worlds out there,
you know?
Where anything you want to happen...
does happen.
Richard, you know something?
This is just the kind
of pretentious bullshit
that Americans always
say to French girls
so they can sleep with them.
Oh, God...
sorry.
I thought I was doin' pretty good.
It's just the sky, Richard.
Let's try.
Yeah.
Idiot.
Un, deux, trois...
quatre.
When you develop
an infatuation for someone,
you always find a reason to believe
that this is exactly the person for you.
It doesn't need to be a good reason.
Taking photographs of
the night sky, for example.
Now, in the long run,
that's just the kind
of dumb, irritating habit
that would cause you to split up.
But in the haze of infatuation,
it's just what you've been
searching for all these years.
Richard?
I don't know. I'm American.
So?
I think in miles, not kilometers.
Okay, so how many miles
do you think it is?
I don't know, but it
looks like a long way away.
If it's too far, we're gonna drown.
But if we don't try, then
we'll never know, right?
Right.
So let's go.
You guys all right?
Yeah. We're okay.
Yeah.
I think we're about halfway.
Oh, fuck!
Richard!
Fuck!
What?
I saw a fin.
What? Are you joking?
No, no, no!
A fin.
Okay, a shark fin?
I don't know. Just a fin
over there, about 100 meters.
Well, was it big?
Yes.
Well, what the fuck
do you expect me
to do about it?
Nothing. I just thought
you should know!
Well, to be honest, Etienne,
I'd rather you hadn't told me!
Okay, I'm sorry.
It's a bit fucking late now, isn't it?
Francoise!
Francoise!
She's gone!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Okay, what happened?
I don't know.
She just went underwater!
She was pulled under!
Francoise!
Where did you go?
Francoise!
I don't see her!
Oh, fuck! It's her bag!
Okay, was there a shark?
Did you see a shark, Etienne?
I don't know!
I don't know!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, man.
Oh, fuck you! Oh!
Oh ho-ho, yeah!
Oh, you Europeans
are so funny, huh?
You have such
a playful sense of humor.
No wonder your comedies
conquered the world.
Ha ha! What about Molire?
Who?
Oh, fuck off!.
Come on.
Wow.
Oh. Now, this is what
I call a lot of dope.
Huh.
Hey.
Okay. Okay.
We're gonna go this way.
Okay? Shut up. Shut up.
Come on.
Ay.
Sure, we should've turned back,
but I wasn't going to,
not now.
I just kept telling them
we'd get there.
Trust me.
It's paradise.
If we take this down,
it should lead us all the way.
Come on.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Merde.
Etienne: Well?
Well, what?
How do we get down?
How do we get down?
How am I supposed to know?
Do I have to decide everything now?
We'll jump.
Fuck. You wanted to be
in command, Richard.
I only took command
because you lost
your nerve, French boy!
Yeah, and look where
you've taken us!
We'll jump.
If you're not happy
with the way things are going,
you can just take over.
All right, sir?
All right. I will.
There. We'll
climb down there.
We can jump.
Francoise, look.
We're not gonna jump,
all right?
So just can it.
And as for climbing down there,
that is just an asshole suggestion!
You calling me an asshole?
Yeah, and that's
just the start of it.
All right, fuck-face, let's do it.
All right, motherfucker.
Francoise!
Shit.
Francoise!
Come on, guys. It's okay.
It's not dangerous.
Come on.
Drop the bags down. Come on!
All right. So we'll jump.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck!
Did you see that shit?
Oh, my God!
Congratulations!
Took me the best part of an hour
to work up the balls to do that.
Mind you, I was on me own.
So you have to make allowances.
You know what I mean?
I think maybe you
better meet up with Sal.
Jesus Christ!
We're fucking here!
do you realize that?
Don't you go anywhere!
All right. Doing well.
Ciao, Sonja.
Hi.
Noisy kitchen.
How you doing?
What's for dinner?
One guess. Fish.
I don't know what we expected,
people living in a cave?
Maybe even a few guys in tents...
Gregorio.
but nothing like this.
How are you, Keaty?
Roll 'em. Don't smoke 'em.
It was like we arrived
into a lost world,
a full-scale community
of travelers,
not just passing through,
but actually living here.
I suddenly became aware
that we weren't even invited.
The guy who drew it--
Daffy.
Yeah. Yeah. He's dead.
What?
No way.
Yeah. He cut his wrists
open in a hotel room
on the Khao San Road.
You have seen this?
Well, I came afterwards.
Well, that's sad news.
He was one of the founders
of our community.
Oh.
But he became depressed.
This is crazy.
The police didn't know
what to do with the body,
so I guess they're gonna,
like, incinerate him
or something.
do you think he gave
a map to anybody else?
I--I, no.
I don't think so.
And you, have you shown
this map to anybody?
No.
No.
No.
Good.
We value our secrecy.
Yeah, burn!
Let's gag one.
# Ooh, me #
You hear that?
You hear that?
Look at that.
# I think that I am
going out of my mind #
# Going out of my #
# Mind #
# Hey, woman #
# It's all right #
# Hey #
# Hey #
C'est magnifique.
# Hey #
# Hey #
# Hey #
#Woman #
Oh. It's so fucking
beautiful, man.
Neighbors.
Hey. I've got
your oils, man.
Here. I want to
give you something.
Listen up, everybody.
Okay. Tomorrow I will travel
for many miles on a bicycle.
Um, Vicki.
Uh, uh,
sutra cuputovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Great. Very good. Helene.
Very good.
Sutra cuputovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Very good. Keaty?
All right.
It's far too easy, though.
Yes. Okay. Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
There's more, you know.
He knows everything.
Richard!
Ahem.
Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Yes, Richard!
You're represented, man.
Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
This became our world,
and these people,
our family.
back home was
just one more place
we didn't think about.
I settled in.
I found my vocation:
the pursuit of pleasure.
Sal was the leader,
but it wasn't a big deal.
I mean, there wasn't
any ideology or shit like that.
It was just a beach resort
for people who don't like
beach resorts.
...and some of us build.
Even paradise
takes a little shaping.
For years, they kept this place a secret.
They didn't need to tell anyone.
They were practically self-sufficient.
The only thing they had to do
was sail back once in a while
to trade a little marijuana
and buy some rice.
Whoa!
We grow our own,
which means no stealing
from the farmers on the other side.
And do they know that
you're living here?
Oh, yeah, but they
keep to their side,
and we don't trespass
on their turf.
A couple of years ago,
they came to us,
and they said that we could stay.
That was all right, but
nobody else should come.
which kind of suits us as well.
So, you was lucky,
you know? Very lucky.
There was Keaty,
who only cared about 2 things...
Thank you, Lord,
for the twin pillars of civilization:
Christianity and cricket.
There were the Swedes--
Christo, Sten, and Karl.
We like fishing.
Fishing. Yeah.
And in the winter,
we like skiing.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Of course, in Thailand,
there is no skiing.
We wait, okay?
We wait until the fish come.
Get it?
Shit. No way!
Whoo!
And I said unto thee,
"I shall provide!"
Yeah!
- Stop it.
- What?
our resident chef
was known as Unhygenix...
Let's cook.
on account of
his obsession with soap.
Fish, fish, fish.
Still I smell fish.
There was a range of sporting
and leisure activities
to suit all tastes.
Etienne is good at soccer.
I could do that if l wanted to.
I just don't want to.
What are you talking about?
Making conversation.
do you have a girlfriend?
Here?
Anywhere.
No. Why?
Just making conversation.
Right arm over wicket,
Is there anyone who
still does not understand?
The only person I didn't like
was Sal's boyfriend Bugs,
our on-island carpenter.
Hey, Richard.
Can you do this?
Can you make anything?
A man should have
a talent in his hands.
Here we go, people!
Whoo!
So every community has its rituals.
Well, ours was simple.
The last one to arrive
tattoos the next.
It fucking hurts, okay?
What did he say?
Andy, bring yours closer.
Come on, Richard.
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, Jesus!
That fucking hurt!
All in all, this really was paradise.
Except for one thing:
desire is desire wherever you go.
The sun will not bleach it,
nor the tide wash it away.
Francoise.
One--she's
just teasing you.
Richard: What are you
talking about?
In fact, even better than that--
sorry, sorry--
soccer than you.
and 6--you're a bit strange, rich.
Some girls
like that in a man,
but not usually the sort of girls
you want to be with.
Is that right?
Come on. Your last
girlfriend chucked you.
There must've been a reason.
Well, it was not my fault.
And 7--look at, look
at your thumbs, man.
They're well-defined.
What is that supposed to mean?
You play a lot of video games.
That is a powerful index
of incompatibility.
Well, why do I get the feeling
Iike you're trying to tell
me something here, Keaty?
You haven't a hope, mate,
not a bleeding chicken's
chance in Thailand.
Know what I mean?
thank you.
So, enjoy the beach
and cut the bullshit.
Thank you very much.
It's my pleasure.
No. no.
You, no.
You cannot--no. No! No.
Please leave me.
Leave me!
Hey, that's my bed.
No!
I can deal with it.
I don't want you
to deal with it!
It won't take a minute, Gregorio.
No! Really, no.
No. I must
go to mainland!
I'm sick.
I've got to. Sal!
What's this?
You want to go to the mainland
to see a dentist?
Yes.
It's out of the question.
Come on. It'll be fun.
I'll be the nurse.
It won't hurt. Be brave.
How's it going, Richard?
Fine. Fine.
You okay with this?
Yeah.
I mean, we have
a secret here, right?
Sometimes people need
to take a little pain
to keep it that way.
Excellent. Excellent attitude.
No problem.
You'll be okay.
Oh, shit!
Good work!
Kill the pain, boy.
Okay.
Take the drink.
Take a drink.
Bugs.
Bugs. thank you, Bugs.
Thank you.
Richard?
Yeah.
Would you like to come
to the beach with me?
Come on, Etienne.
Just throw one, man.
Okay.
Sure. Yeah.
Are you happy, Richard?
Happy?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess.
I mean, the beach, you know,
is just perfect.
do you think that I ignore you?
No.
But I do.
It's because I'm with Etienne.
It's difficult for me
to spend time with you.
I don't suppose that
there's any, you know,
special reason that you should...
spend time with me, that is.
Of course there is.
I like you a lot.
Have you--Have you told
this to Etienne or...
No.
It's our secret.
Okay.
Look! There.
The plankton. Shrimps.
When they're disturbed, they glow.
Come on.
That night, we promised ourselves,
and we honestly believed,
that no one would ever know.
I want to talk.
About what?
About you and Francoise.
What do you mean,
me and Francoise?
I mean, Richard...
that I want her to be happy.
Yeah. I mean, of course.
We all do, right?
Shut up!
Please shut the fuck up.
And if happy is with you,
then I will not stand in her way.
Etienne, man, I re--
I really don't know
what you're talking about.
Fuck you, Richard!
I know! Okay? I know.
Everybody knows!
The problem is seeing the fish.
With the heavy rain
and the bad light,
it's very difficult to catch them.
It could last for days.
Sometimes...
we get really hungry.
Give me that.
Richard!
Richard! Richard!
Richard!
I can't hear you!
You can't hear me.
- Shark!
- Shark!
Shark!
- Shark!
- Shark!
Nnhh!
All right. All right.
All right.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Now, before I start, there's--
there's just a couple of things
you have to remember.
Number one,
you have to remain calm.
Right?
And number 2,
you have to show no fear.
Teach it. Teach it.
Because the sharks--
you see, the sharks,
they can sense that fear...
just as easily as they
can sense blood.
And so it went for me...
just as I knew it would,
just as nature had ordained.
Its...jaw... wide open.
Row upon row
of these razor-sharp teeth,
glinting underwater
like jagged diamonds.
Its tail fin sweeping
back and forth as it
surged in for the kill.
I swear to God...
my whole life
flashed before my eyes.
Really. I had nothing left to offer
except for pure reflex,
pure reflex and mankind's
basic drive for survival
that somehow shouts, " No!
I will not die today!"
And at that instant, man,
I knew it was
either the shark or me.
The shark knew it.
I knew it.
But, jeez, God...
it--it's nothing personal, right?
You know, it's just
the way the world works.
Right? It's nature.
But if l remember correctly...
in that last glimmer of its eyes,
there was a moment between us...
where he said,
" Hey, Richard, man..."
"enjoy your dinner."
Strange thing, killing a shark.
Isn't it, Richard?
Just a big fish, Bugs.
Just a big fish?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe when it's just a baby
and it hasn't really learned
to kill yet,
then maybe it's just a big fish.
But when it's a
great white angry mother
with a taste of human blood
on its tongue,
now, that's a different story.
Oh, God, jeez...
I'm--I'm sorry, bugs.
Is it just me,
or does this wet weather
make everyone so damn tired?
Jeez, maybe we can hear
your very different,
and I'm sure very interesting,
story some other time, huh?
Very interesting. Keaty.
Vero interessanto.
Tim.
Hygie.
Molto interessante.
Good night, young lovers.
Shut up.
Good night.
For a while,
we were untouchable
in our happiness.
All right, everybody.
Quiet.
We have a situation.
It's not a disaster,
but as some of you
may have heard,
a couple of sacks
of rice have become
contaminated by a fungus.
That's 'cause we
keep it in that shack.
How many more times does
this have to happen?
Rice run.
Which means that someone
will have to come
to Koh Pha Ngan with me
to buy some more rice.
So don't all volunteer at once.
Richard?
Yeah?
Are you gonna come
to Koh Pha Ngan with me?
I don't know. I mean--
I'll go with you.
Don't worry, Bugs.
Richard's gonna come,
aren't you?
Am I?
Who thinks Richard should come?
All right. Then I'll go to
Koh Pha Ngan with you.
Good.
I want a toothpaste and--
and a toothbrush, yeah?
All right.
Ahem. A new pair of swim trunks
and a new hat.
Richard...
and 4 double-a batteries
and 20 condoms.
Make it 40 condoms.
And a bottle of vodka.
Oh, fuck this.
Smell it. It's a part of me.
I am becoming a fish, Richard.
Ordinary soap for ordinary
people is a waste of time.
I need something toxic,
something industrial. okay?
Okay.
A tin of beef curry. Yummy.
Yummy.
As many triple-a batteries
as you can find, right?
And a copy of...
the Daily Telegraph.
Just for the cricket, you know?
Oh.
Please fill this bag with a soft bog roll.
Soft bog roll?
Jasmine tea, tiger balm,
lip balm, tea tree oil...
a big box of bleach.
Hair conditioner, skin conditioner...
anything based on sugar.
cumin, saffron, cinnamon...
antiperspirant, and makeup remover.
Ahem.
What do you want?
Okay.
When you get to Koh Pha Ngan,
keep your hands to yourself
and your dick in your pants.
Ohh...shit.
Oh, shit.
I'd really been looking forward
to air conditioning
and some cold beer,
but when we got to Koh Pha Ngan...
I just wanted to leave again.
And in one moment, I understood
more clearly than ever
why we were so special...
why we kept our secret...
because if we didn't,
sooner or later,
they'd turn it into this.
Cancers...
parasites...
eating up the whole fucking world.
A couple months.
Maybe--Maybe a year, even.
Yeah, really.
Ri--
No. I like it out here, you know?
Things are different.
I said things are different!
Yeah.
No. I'll call again.
I'll call again.
I promise.
Okay.
All right, I miss you, too.
All right.
Okay.
All right, bye.
Bye.
So, how does it feel to be
back in the real world?
It's not
like I remembered it.
It gets worse every time.
It is Richard! Damn!
God! How ya doing, man?
Good to see ya.
Oh, Sammy, come on over, man!
Yo, Ricardo. What's up, bro?
Girls, I want you to meet the man!
He's the man.
Hil und Eva, deisem is Richard.
The man with the map.
Dermensch mit den wanderkarte?
Yo, yo, rich.
They're gonna come with us, bro.
They're coming with us.
Sorry it's been so long,
but, you know,
we're just chillin' out.
You know how it is, right?
Listen, guys.
I--I made a mistake.
Mistake?
What mistake?
What are you
talking about?
No. Listen to me.
There is no beach.
I can't believe to see you, dude.
There's no beach?
Yeah. No. Seriously, the map thing?
It was--It was fake.
It was just like
you said, dude.
- It was a story.
- Right.
No! It's--It's a myth.
Really.
I-it doesn't exist.
- Come on.
- The map,
- It was a fake.
- Yeah, yeah.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
You wouldn't be holding out on us,
would ya? Let me guess.
It's a fucking
paradise!
It doesn't exist.
Oh, man...
what are you taking about?
I think, you know, Zeph,
he's just tryin' to fuck with--
I'm trying to tell you to forget it!
All right, asshole!
Well, that's the last time
I buy you a fuckin' beer.
So you told them
where you were going?
Yeah.
And they saw the map?
Do they have a copy?
No.
Okay.
Well, we can relax for a bit.
I doubt they have it in them
to get there, anyway.
But, Richard, I don't think we
should tell anybody about this.
Okay?
I think we should keep it
between you and me.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Whew.
Well, I'm going to go and play
a couple of games of pool
with Sumet.
Sumet? Snook?
So, why don't you go
and warm the bed?
Come on.
Sal?
Sal?
I just have a question.
It was very nice.
No. That's not it.
It's about Bugs.
Okay.
It's like this.
Bugs is my boyfriend...
my partner.
Okay?
And you are someone
I just had sex with.
All right?
Oh, th-that's fine.
That's absolutely fine.
Good.
Now get some sleep.
I may wish to have sex again
before we eat breakfast.
It was a deal.
She wouldn't tell anyone
about the map.
I had paid for her silence
and bought my ticket back.
But I didn't even want to
think about the real price.
All right, Rich,
we're ready to heave!
Okay!
Got it, Keaty?
Yeah! No probs.
Problem solved.
All right, here's your bleach.
Who got the makeup remover?
I have 2 of'em.
Extra! Extra!
Oh, Richard, man!
I love you!
One pretty little
pink bag for you.
Oh, great! Lovely.
Did you get batteries?
Right here.
Yes!
# I can see my pretty girl #
That's all for you.
Hey, Ricardo! Grazie.
One tin of beef curry!
One...
disposable camera.
I know it's not as good
as the one you left behind,
and you'll probably have to
wait a while for the prints,
but what the hell, right?
No, it doesn't matter. I like it.
What's wrong?
How was it?
The rice run? Fine.
No problem.
I mean being with Sal.
Fine. I mean, we got along okay.
Some people say
she's attracted to you.
Shit. I...
I really wouldn't have noticed that.
Nothing happened?
No, of course not.
You promise?
I was so happy to be back
that I couldn't bear
to spoil the moment.
Yes. Yes, I promise.
I missed you.
Okay, come on, everybody!
Come on, please!
Come on, please.
All together. Close together.
Please.
Okay, close together.
Okay, stand back there,
please.
Okay.
So 1...2...3!
so I started just where I'd left off.
It was almost like
my trip to Koh Pha Ngan
never happened.
Almost.
Shark!
Shut up, you fucker!
My--My--My leg.
My leg.
We can take you to
the hospital, all right?
We can do that.
But when you're there,
you mustn't tell anybody
where this happened.
All right? We have
to keep our secret.
What's he saying?
He says that we are to bring help
here for him.
He won't go near the water.
Yeah, well, I understand that,
but we can't bring anybody here.
We can't do that.
Bring help!
You gotta bring help!
We can't, Christo!
You have to go,
or you stay here
and take your chances.
Anyone disagree?
What is he saying?
He wants to know
what happened to his friend.
We're gathered here today
to say our last respect to Sten.
May God take your soul,
and you will rest
forever in peace, mate.
We'll miss ya.
Yorg esca de from Christo and me.
Reposti im pace,
from Lorenzo.
# Old pirates, yes, they rob I #
# Sold I to the merchant ships #
# Minutes after they took I #
# From the bottomless pit #
# And my hand was made strong #
# By the hand of the almighty #
#We forward in this generation #
#Triumphantly #
#Won't you help to sing #
#These songs of freedom #
# 'Cause all I ever had #
# Redemption songs #
# Redemption songs #
After the funeral,
we all tried to get back to normal...
But it just didn't seem right.
Pretty soon, it became clear
that the problem was Christo.
Shut up!
You see, in a shark attack,
or any other major tragedy,
I guess,
the important thing
is to get eaten and die--
in which case, there's a funeral,
and somebody makes a speech,
and everybody says
what a good guy you were--
or get better, in which case,
everyone can forget about it.
I can't take this.
Christo, please.
Get better or die.
It's the hanging around in between
that really pisses people off.
Listen to me.
You can't do this.
This is disgusting.
Take him back.
Fucking animals.
What are you doing this for?
Huh? Tell me.
How can you do this?
Richard?
Fucking bastards!
Bastards.
It would be a lot easier
to condemn our behavior
if it hadn't been so effective,
but out of sight
really was out of mind.
Once he was gone,
we felt a whole lot better.
On the beach, it's easy
to turn your back,
but not always so easy to forget.
Pay them in dollars,
fuck their daughters,
and turn it into wonderland, Richard.
Richard, come with me.
Is that or is that not
a map she's holding?
And did you or did you not
make that copy?
You know, the lying
doesn't bother me,
but that map is trouble.
The farmers, right?
You remember,
those men with guns.
They said to us-- They told us--
no more people.
And now it looks like
we're handing out
fucking tour guides.
Sal, I mean...
we could explain, right?
I mean, we could tell 'em
it was Daffy.
"We could explain."
I want you up here every day
until those people come.
- Here?!.
- Yes, here.
And when they come,
I want you
to get the map back.
Okay? Whatever happens,
you get the map back.
W-w-wait, Sal.
Wait. Sal, take a look at this.
I mean, they could
be there for weeks.
That's right, and you'll
be here waiting for them.
W-what am I supposed to do
when they actually get here?
Get the map!
You drew it.
You handed it out.
Now you get it back
and turn them away!
Sal! Sal!
Are you gonna tell
everyone else what I did?
Now, this was truly
a pain in the ass.
I mean, I didn't want
these people to come here
any more than Sal did,
but what exactly
did she expect me to do?
Chase them away?
Threaten them?
I mean, with what?
By the time these kids got here,
I'd probably have starved to death.
Sal?
Sal, is that you?
Get that light out of my--
You're a pig!
Damn it!
What the fuck was that for?
Look, there's nothing I could do.
I have to
stay up here!
Not that, okay?
What is it, then?
You and Sal in Koh Pha Ngan.
Oh, that.
Yes, that!
She has told everyone,
and me, I'm the last one
to find out!
At least she believes
in honesty, not like you.
I mean, Francoise, I...
Wh-what can I say?
Nothing. There is nothing you can say.
Thank you.
Thank you for making
my life just perfect!
Super!
God damn it!
Shit!
You are
such an idiot!
even though I knew
it would happen,
I was crushed.
And I guess I deserved it.
I mean, I could have given her
all the excuses she wanted,
but it still wouldn't have
made any difference.
Great! Great!
At first, I thought
I was gonna die up here,
that my entire world
was gonna end.
But it didn't.
In fact, pretty soon, I found
that there were
plenty of other things
to keep me occupied,
and before I knew it,
I found that love-- like grief--
tends to fade away
and be replaced
by something more exciting.
And life up on the hill
turned out to be
a big improvement.
I mean, up here, I could do
whatever I wanted.
There was no fishing duty,
no gardening shit,
no hassle from Bugs
or Etienne or Francoise.
I was playing my own game now,
and I had absolutely
no reason to go back.
Okay, so I was just
foolin' around...
but the longer I stayed away
from the community,
the less I missed them.
And I found new players,
even if they didn't know it yet.
this forest was my territory...
retrieving the map, my mission...
and these, my defenders.
I was the only one with the overview
of how it all fitted together:
the island...
me...
them...
the invaders.
All connected,
all playing the same game.
And at the center of it all,
one man.
Daffy.
Inside!
Take a look, Richard!
Viruses, Richard!
Cancers!
The big, chunky charlie's
eating up the whole world!
Right there!
Down on the beach!
Down on the street!
Pay them in dollars
and fuck their daughters!
It starts with 4,
Richard!
They multiply!
It's time to stop them!
Year zero, kiddo!
Year zero!
Are you with me
or against me?
I'm with you
all the way, Daffy!
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
Richard?
Yeah.
Where you been, man?
What are you doing
sitting in the dark?
Improving my night vision.
What for, man?
You know who I think about a lot?
I have no idea.
Daffy.
Daffy?
Uh-huh.
I admire him.
You hardly knew him.
True...
but he had a certain style.
Come here.
Now.
Fucking come here!
Get in there.
They're talking about you.
He does no work in the garden.
But he steals our food.
I'm sure of it.
You hear that? You hear
what they're saying?
Karl: Idle, sponging, useless prick!
Now get your fucking act
together, Richard, man.
You can't do this.
You can't run around in the dark
not talkin' to nobody.
What you think
you're playin' at, man?
What's happened to you?
You was all right.
Just a couple of weeks ago,
you was fine,
and now what the fuck is going--
Look at you.
And you're talking about Daffy?
Daffy was a nutter, right?
He went up there, and he lost it.
He's gone.
Richard. Richard.
do you hear what
I'm saying to you?
Don't lose it like him.
do you understand
what I'm saying?
Don't go there. Stay with us.
Co-come back, Rich.
These are good people.
They don't talk about people
all the time.
They're talking about you
because you're fucked up.
All right? Don't do this, man.
I got it under control.
And now it looks like we're
handing out fucking tour guides!
Mushroom, Richard?
No, thank you, Daffy.
I don't need any help
to see the writing on the wall.
I'm very glad to hear that, Richard.
Got to keep my head clear.
You know what I mean?
Getting closer. Any day now.
Year zero?
That's the spirit, kiddo.
You know something?
You led the way, Daffy.
You showed me the truth.
But it doesn't matter
what I think anymore.
It's up to you now.
I won't let you down.
Hey, Richard.
No offense, but, uh--
You're fucked in the head,
right?
It's been real nice
knowing you, Daffy.
We're on patrol in the delta.
Search and destroy.
We're not making any contact.
So the lieutenant,
he says to me:
You get out there
and draw their fire!
It's never
gonna happen, sir.
Are you refusing an order, son?
It certainly looks that way, sir.
Yeah, it looks that way, sir!
My M-16 just went off, man.
It just went off.
What are we waiting for?
Let's go!
There's no other
explanation, man!
We're in dope heaven!
# I smoke 2 joints in the morning #
# I smoke 2 joints at night #
# I smoke 2 joints in the afternoon #
# And then I feel all right #
# I smoke 2 joints
in times of peace #
# And 2 in times of war #
# I smoke 2 joints
before I smoke 2 joints #
# and then I smoke 2 more #
Hi.
Oh, shit.
We're Americans.
Tourists.
American.
We, uh, we--we had a map,
and we-- we came here,
but we made a mistake.
We made a mistake,
and--and we're sorry.
We'll go now.
Come on.
Um, we just want--
we just want to go.
Give 'em something, dude.
Give them some money.
Look! American dollars!
I've got American dollars.
You want American money?
Here. You can have them.
Hey, hey, hey.
I've got-- I've got my watch.
It plays a tune.
This is our 6th year.
Yeah!
I want to look ahead...
because I see that
beyond any problems
that we might have had,
right--
beyond any problems
that we might have--
that we have so much
here to inspire us.
and I'm not just talking
about the island.
I'm talking about you.
You are what
makes this place work.
And it does.
I tried to remember
the person I used to be,
but I just couldn't do it...
To the island!
To you!
and so long as I stayed here...
to the future!
I'd never find him again.
Come with me.
I've got to talk to you.
Listen, I've got to talk to you!
Stop!
Listen to me! I've got--
I've got to talk to you! Stop!
Francoise, listen!
I've got to talk--
Stop! God damn it! Stop!
Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop!
I'm not gonna hurt you!
All right?
It's just me.
It's just me--Richard.
Remember?
The guy who can't play soccer.
The guy without a girlfriend.
Remember?
I've just been away
for a while.
That's all. That's all.
Listen. Etienne, I really fucked up.
I don't know what else they're gonna do,
but we have to leave now.
That's it. Just the 3 of us.
Just like before.
Richard...
I can't leave him.
Then, we'll take him with us.
But look at him.
Look at him, Richard.
We can't move him. It's gangrene.
It's spreading.
He's gonna die.
Wait for me at the boat.
Christo had suffered
because we wouldn't
let anything spoil our fun.
In the perfect beach resort,
nothing is allowed to interrupt
the pursuit of pleasure.
Not even dying.
do you think I want to hurt you?
I'm a farmer.
That's all. Understand?
I work.
I send the money to my family.
If too many people
come to this island,
it's trouble for me.
I can't work,
I can't send the money,
and my family don't eat.
I said no more people,
but more people come.
And you.
You give them the map!
Now, you all go home.
Forget this island.
Forget about Thailand.
Understand? Huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
No.
What?
No.
We're not leaving.
This is our home, too.
This is our house.
We built it with our own hands,
and we are not leaving.
Oh, Sal. Sal.
I think-- I think you're making
a big mistake here. Really.
If he says that we should leave--
Richard, shut up!
This is all your fault, anyway.
You copied the map, Richard.
You are a clever boy.
The one who sneak around.
You steal from us,
Let him go! Ugh!
play with guns,
and you bring people here.
If you want to stay.
If you want to stay.
Sal. Sal.
Fuck. Sal, no!
Sal. Listen.
Don't be crazy, okay?
You can't!
Don't be crazy, Sal.
Put the gun down.
You let us down, Richard.
You brought us trouble.
You can't, Sal.
Make her stop!
Make her stop!
You need to help!
You need to help me!
You fucking bastards!
Come on, Sal.
Please, Sal.
You can't do it.
You can't do it, Sal.
Fuck!
'Cause if you pull that trigger, Sal--
If you pull that trigger,
it's all fucking over,
and you know it.
Come on.
'Cause this time...
This time, it's not like Christo
rotting out in the woods
where no one could see.
It's not like the 4 people
that I saw killed today.
This time, everyone
has to watch, Sal.
Everyone has to see what it takes
to keep our little paradise a secret.
Come on, everyone, watch!
Shut up.
Everyone watch Sal do this.
Yeah, go on, Sal, do it.
- Come on.
- Do it.
Come on, do it, yeah.
Let 'em see the blood
this time, huh? Huh?
Let's see if they can take it.
God!
They can take it.
No! No! No! No!
No! No! No!
Come on.
Hold on to me.
Game over,
but she was never gonna leave.
She believed in it all way
too much to ever change,
so that's exactly
where we left her.
#We sailed over 7 seas #
# Searchin' for that missin' key #
# Unlockin' you #
#The world's harmony #
# I climbed the highest
mountain range #
# And then we took the longest... #
And as for the rest of us...
we carried away our sins
and made our way back
to wherever it was
that we called home...
to pick up the pieces
of whatever was waiting.
Of course, you can never
forget what you've done.
But we adapt.
We carry on.
# I hear the rhythm
in the river's run #
# And blinding, fainting desert sun #
# Hear them today #
#They all are strong #
# And distant forces
in the far-off sky #
# Led us to that elusive place #
#To the new sound #
# I will testify #
Can I get you anything?
No, thanks.
# Na na-na na... #
And me?
I still believe in paradise.
But now at least I know it's
not some place you can look for.
Because it's not where you go.
It's how you feel
for a moment in your life
when you're a part of something.
And if you find that moment...
it lasts forever.
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
#Yeah, yeah #
# I believe #
#There's a time #
# And a place #
#To let your mind drift #
# And get out of this place #
# I believe #
#There's a day #
# And a place #
#That we will go to #
# And I know you wanna share #
#There's no secret to livin' #
#Secret to livin' #
#Just keep on #
#Walkin' #
#There's no secret to dyin' #
#There's no secret to dyin' #
#Just keep on #
# Flyin' #
# I'm gonna die in #
# A place that don't know #
# My name #
# I'm gonna die in #
# A space
that don't hold #
# My name #
#Walkin' in the cold #
#Just keep on #
# Flyin' #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
# I'm a lonely soul #
# 'Cause we are lonely souls #
# 'Cause we are lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# I'm a lonely soul #
#So alone #
# In the shadows #
# Pack up your light #
# Pack up your light #
#Say good-bye
to the whole world #
# Light #
# I #
# Need you now #
# I #
# Am lonely #
# Don't you need me? #
So what else
do you need to know...
stuff about my family
or where I'm from?
None of that matters...
not once you cross the ocean
and cut yourself loose
Looking for something
more beautiful,
something more exciting...
and, yes, I admit...
something more dangerous.
So after 18 hours
in the back of an airplane,
and absolutely no sleep...
I finally touched down...
Hey, you! How about you?
in Bangkok.
Want to go to the waterfall?
Come on! Floating market!
Cheap for you!
Come on! Hey!
Hey, you need
somewhere to stay?
No. I'll be fine.
I'll find my own place.
Thanks.
What do you want, man?
And this is it--
Bangkok:
good-time city,
gateway to southeast Asia,
where dollars
and deutschmarks
get turned into
counterfeit watches
and genuine scars.
Good time!
Boy, girl, fucking.
No problem.
This is where the hungry
come to feed.
You want to drink
snake blood?
Wait a minute.
Did you say snake blood?
Oh, yeah.
No, thanks.
What is wrong with snake blood?
I just don't like the idea.
Oh, maybe you're scared.
Afraid of somethin' new?
No. I just don't like
the idea, that's all.
Ha! Like every tourist--
you want it all be safe,
just like America.
So never refuse an invitation.
Never resist the unfamiliar.
Never fail to be polite...
Gentlemen...
that was excellent.
And never outstay your welcome.
Just keep your mind open
and suck in the experience,
and if it hurts...
it's probably worth it.
Hey.
Good evening.
Hi.
Can I get a room, please?
Yes.
Roger. They need
some napalm down there
at tree line.
Can you try and put it down there?
The only downer
is everyone's got the same idea.
We all travel thousands
of miles just to watch TV
and check into somewhere
with all the comforts of home.
And you gotta ask yourself...
Don't worry, man!
We'll have this place
cleaned up and ready
for us in a jiffy,
so don't you worry!
what is the point of that?
Ahem!
Et voila.
Thank you.
Bon soir.
Bon soir.
Good night.
And as for traveling alone,
Fuck it.
If that's the way
it has to be,
then that's the way it is.
Everybody happy!
Everybody havin'
a good time, eh?
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Please shut up, okay?
Bastard parasites!
Parasites!
Yeah. That's fucking great!
Cancers! Bastard cancers!
The big, chunky charlie
is eatin' up
the whole fuckin' world!
Hey!
Hey, you!
You got anything to smoke?
No, I don't have anything to smoke.
That's no problem, pal, 'cause, uh...
I've got loads of the fucking stuff.
Oh!
You understand what I'm sayin'?
Yeah.
No, you don't.
No, you're right. I don't.
Ah!
That's better!
Thanks.
It was the beach...
you understand?
The beach?
It was too...
beautiful, too much input,
too much...sensation.
I tried to keep it under control,
but it just keeps spilling out
and spilling out and spilling out.
Right.
You see, um...
she's on an island...
and that island is--
is perfect. I mean--
I mean real perfection,
you know?
I'm not just talkin' about...
"Oh, that's nice."
It's the real fucking deal, okay?
Perfect.
It's just like a--
a lagoon, you know,
A tidal lagoon
that's sealed in by cliffs,
totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'...
forbidden.
And nobody can ever,
ever, ever, ever go there.
Ever.
But a few people went...
once upon a time...
men and women with ideals,
you understand?
I'm not just talkin'
about the usual travelin',
fucking wanks.
do you believe
in that place?
No.
But I guess you're gonna tell me
that I should, right?
It doesn't even fucking matter
what I think anymore.
It's up to you.
Ideals, eh?
We were just
fucking parasites!
The big, chunky charlie!
See, I was the one that
was tryin' to find the cure.
Procurer of the cure.
And I said to them,
"You've got to leave.
You've got to leave this place."
But they wouldn't listen.
No offense and all,
but...
you're fucked in the head, right?
There, Richard.
It's been nice
knowin' ya, man.
Yeah. You, too.
Be careful!
Electric-- Electricity!
Ma'am!
Ma'am!
Chill, man. No worry.
Hey, man,
there is a letter
for you.
A what?
Letter on your door.
No fuckin' way.
Do you...
Hello?
You hope...
and you dream.
But you never believe
that something's
gonna happen for you,
not like it does in the movies.
And when it actually does...
you want it to feel different...
more visceral...
more real.
I was waiting for it to hit me...
but it just wouldn't happen.
A name
of Mr. Daffy Duck.
Birthplace--
Never-Never Land?
Gonna fuck up
all the paperwork.
The police were pissed
because he was traveling
under a false passport.
Go ahead.
Sign the statement.
It's okay.
It just say he cut his wrists,
already dead when you found him.
But they didn't ask me
about the map, so...
No problem.
I didn't tell 'em.
You have a nice day.
Good luck.
Excuse me.
Look, I mean...
this island may not
actually even exist,
and even if it does,
I don't even know
if we can get there or not.
I just wondered if you
wanted to come with me.
That's all.
Hey, you wanna take a hike?
Uh, a trip, a journey...
with your girlfriend
and me?
I mean, the two of you
and me, together?
I'm talking about the secret island.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just feel like everyone
tries to do somethin' different,
but you always wind up
doin' the same damn thing.
I realized that I
had absolutely no idea
of how I was gonna get there.
But Etienne--
and I have to hand it to the guy--
was great.
I mean, he organized
the whole thing:
tickets, time tables,
the whole damn trip--
Bangkok to Surat Thani,
Surat Thani to Na Thon,
Na Thon to Chawang--
at less than 400 baht.
Trust me, it's a very good deal.
We were headed
for the great unknown,
but to get there,
we had to follow
the regular tourist trail.
# A little less pushin' #
# Or shovin', take it easy #
#You could even get sleazy #
# Come around #
#Watch a movie #
#With the sound down #
# And get woozy #
We are fine. It's arranged.
Tomorrow morning.
Oh, great, man.
Nice work.
There's one problem.
He will not take us
to the island.
It's in the National Park,
and it's forbidden to go there.
But we are allowed
to travel to this one
to stay for one night.
Yeah, yeah. No.
See, that's the wrong one.
Yeah, I know that.
Right, but how do we
get from there to there?
We swim.
We swim?
Yeah.
We leave our rucksacks
on this island,
and then we swim.
You can swim, can't you, Richard?
Of course I can swim.
So, no problem.
Okay, so how far is it, though?
I don't know.
Cool. Cool.
Not far at all.
Stop it, Richard.
It will be worth it.
An adventure,
and just the 3 of us!
"Can you swim?"
Of course I can swim.
"Oh, yeah, I am French,
and I have zee beautiful
girlfriend, too, eh?"
Great!
God damn it!
Locked out, huh?
Yeah.
Lost your key?
Bummer.
Yeah, bummer.
So you wanna grab a beer or somethin'?
You're probably better off
without her, anyway, bro.
Sammy, how the fuck would you know
if he's better off without her or not?
You've never even met her!
I'm just tryin' to help the guy
through the dark times.
It's not a problem.
You see, Zeph?
It's not a problem.
Change the fuckin' subject.
All right. Let's talk about
how you spend an hour
in front of the mirror every day.
Oh, that's nice.
You know this guy?
He likes to wipe his ass
with tree leaves.
He thinks he's some sort
of jungle commando.
- i swear to God.
- whatever.
Damn.
I presume you know the story
of the Kentucky-fried mouse.
Yeah.
A woman bites into a chicken leg,
and it turns out to be a...
a mouse...
right?
- Right.
- A mouse.
It's an urban myth.
Exactly. It always happened
to a friend of a friend
of someone else.
So?
So, I guess there's this urban myth
goin' around here at the moment.
It's about a beach.
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
Huh.
And this beach is perfect, man.
It's on an island, right?
Hidden from the sea.
Now, imagine, you got...
pure white sand...
crystal-clear water...
palm trees.
Yeah. With coconuts and shit.
Yo, tell him the best part, dawg.
Plus...
enough dope, Richard,
to smoke all day every day
for the rest of your goddamn life!
Yeah! Mad weed!
There's only a few people
who know exactly where it is,
and they keep it absolutely secret.
Of course, no one's actually
ever met any of these people,
only met somebody who has.
You know what I mean?
Exactly. It's a Kentucky-fried mouse.
Although, I must say,
if l had a key
to a place like that,
I'd keep it to myself,
'cause you don't want
every fucking asshole
in Thailand turnin' up.
Yeah, yeah.
So what do you think
about that story, Richard?
It's good.
It's a good story.
- Hey, you!
- Jesus.
I got your key!
Now, I know it wasn't
a part of the plan,
but I made a decision
to leave a copy of the map.
I'm not gonna say it was
the best decision I ever made.
I told myself that spreading news
was a part of a traveler's nature,
but if l was being
completely honest,
I was just like everybody else...
shit-scared of the great unknown...
desperate to take
a little piece of home with me.
Richard!
Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah. I'm comin'.
Let's go.
Francoise?
Etienne will be angry
if l wake him.
He thinks I waste time
taking photographs of the sky.
Oh, God.
I think so, too.
Yeah?
Have a look.
One night, I will get
the perfect photograph.
Hi.
You realize that...
in the eternity of space...
there's probably a planet
out there, right...
just like this one...
where another you
is photographing
back down towards us.
I mean, essentially,
you are photographing yourself
in a parallel universe.
Incredible.
Yeah.
I mean, there are
infinite worlds out there,
you know?
Where anything you want to happen...
does happen.
Richard, you know something?
This is just the kind
of pretentious bullshit
that Americans always
say to French girls
so they can sleep with them.
Oh, God...
sorry.
I thought I was doin' pretty good.
It's just the sky, Richard.
Let's try.
Yeah.
Idiot.
Un, deux, trois...
quatre.
When you develop
an infatuation for someone,
you always find a reason to believe
that this is exactly the person for you.
It doesn't need to be a good reason.
Taking photographs of
the night sky, for example.
Now, in the long run,
that's just the kind
of dumb, irritating habit
that would cause you to split up.
But in the haze of infatuation,
it's just what you've been
searching for all these years.
Richard?
I don't know. I'm American.
So?
I think in miles, not kilometers.
Okay, so how many miles
do you think it is?
I don't know, but it
looks like a long way away.
If it's too far, we're gonna drown.
But if we don't try, then
we'll never know, right?
Right.
So let's go.
You guys all right?
Yeah. We're okay.
Yeah.
I think we're about halfway.
Oh, fuck!
Richard!
Fuck!
What?
I saw a fin.
What? Are you joking?
No, no, no!
A fin.
Okay, a shark fin?
I don't know. Just a fin
over there, about 100 meters.
Well, was it big?
Yes.
Well, what the fuck
do you expect me
to do about it?
Nothing. I just thought
you should know!
Well, to be honest, Etienne,
I'd rather you hadn't told me!
Okay, I'm sorry.
It's a bit fucking late now, isn't it?
Francoise!
Francoise!
She's gone!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Okay, what happened?
I don't know.
She just went underwater!
She was pulled under!
Francoise!
Where did you go?
Francoise!
I don't see her!
Oh, fuck! It's her bag!
Okay, was there a shark?
Did you see a shark, Etienne?
I don't know!
I don't know!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, man.
Oh, fuck you! Oh!
Oh ho-ho, yeah!
Oh, you Europeans
are so funny, huh?
You have such
a playful sense of humor.
No wonder your comedies
conquered the world.
Ha ha! What about Molire?
Who?
Oh, fuck off!.
Come on.
Wow.
Oh. Now, this is what
I call a lot of dope.
Huh.
Hey.
Okay. Okay.
We're gonna go this way.
Okay? Shut up. Shut up.
Come on.
Ay.
Sure, we should've turned back,
but I wasn't going to,
not now.
I just kept telling them
we'd get there.
Trust me.
It's paradise.
If we take this down,
it should lead us all the way.
Come on.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Merde.
Etienne: Well?
Well, what?
How do we get down?
How do we get down?
How am I supposed to know?
Do I have to decide everything now?
We'll jump.
Fuck. You wanted to be
in command, Richard.
I only took command
because you lost
your nerve, French boy!
Yeah, and look where
you've taken us!
We'll jump.
If you're not happy
with the way things are going,
you can just take over.
All right, sir?
All right. I will.
There. We'll
climb down there.
We can jump.
Francoise, look.
We're not gonna jump,
all right?
So just can it.
And as for climbing down there,
that is just an asshole suggestion!
You calling me an asshole?
Yeah, and that's
just the start of it.
All right, fuck-face, let's do it.
All right, motherfucker.
Francoise!
Shit.
Francoise!
Come on, guys. It's okay.
It's not dangerous.
Come on.
Drop the bags down. Come on!
All right. So we'll jump.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck!
Did you see that shit?
Oh, my God!
Congratulations!
Took me the best part of an hour
to work up the balls to do that.
Mind you, I was on me own.
So you have to make allowances.
You know what I mean?
I think maybe you
better meet up with Sal.
Jesus Christ!
We're fucking here!
do you realize that?
Don't you go anywhere!
All right. Doing well.
Ciao, Sonja.
Hi.
Noisy kitchen.
How you doing?
What's for dinner?
One guess. Fish.
I don't know what we expected,
people living in a cave?
Maybe even a few guys in tents...
Gregorio.
but nothing like this.
How are you, Keaty?
Roll 'em. Don't smoke 'em.
It was like we arrived
into a lost world,
a full-scale community
of travelers,
not just passing through,
but actually living here.
I suddenly became aware
that we weren't even invited.
The guy who drew it--
Daffy.
Yeah. Yeah. He's dead.
What?
No way.
Yeah. He cut his wrists
open in a hotel room
on the Khao San Road.
You have seen this?
Well, I came afterwards.
Well, that's sad news.
He was one of the founders
of our community.
Oh.
But he became depressed.
This is crazy.
The police didn't know
what to do with the body,
so I guess they're gonna,
like, incinerate him
or something.
do you think he gave
a map to anybody else?
I--I, no.
I don't think so.
And you, have you shown
this map to anybody?
No.
No.
No.
Good.
We value our secrecy.
Yeah, burn!
Let's gag one.
# Ooh, me #
You hear that?
You hear that?
Look at that.
# I think that I am
going out of my mind #
# Going out of my #
# Mind #
# Hey, woman #
# It's all right #
# Hey #
# Hey #
C'est magnifique.
# Hey #
# Hey #
# Hey #
#Woman #
Oh. It's so fucking
beautiful, man.
Neighbors.
Hey. I've got
your oils, man.
Here. I want to
give you something.
Listen up, everybody.
Okay. Tomorrow I will travel
for many miles on a bicycle.
Um, Vicki.
Uh, uh,
sutra cuputovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Great. Very good. Helene.
Very good.
Sutra cuputovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Very good. Keaty?
All right.
It's far too easy, though.
Yes. Okay. Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
There's more, you know.
He knows everything.
Richard!
Ahem.
Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
Yes, Richard!
You're represented, man.
Sutra cu putovati
mnogo millja biciklom.
This became our world,
and these people,
our family.
back home was
just one more place
we didn't think about.
I settled in.
I found my vocation:
the pursuit of pleasure.
Sal was the leader,
but it wasn't a big deal.
I mean, there wasn't
any ideology or shit like that.
It was just a beach resort
for people who don't like
beach resorts.
...and some of us build.
Even paradise
takes a little shaping.
For years, they kept this place a secret.
They didn't need to tell anyone.
They were practically self-sufficient.
The only thing they had to do
was sail back once in a while
to trade a little marijuana
and buy some rice.
Whoa!
We grow our own,
which means no stealing
from the farmers on the other side.
And do they know that
you're living here?
Oh, yeah, but they
keep to their side,
and we don't trespass
on their turf.
A couple of years ago,
they came to us,
and they said that we could stay.
That was all right, but
nobody else should come.
which kind of suits us as well.
So, you was lucky,
you know? Very lucky.
There was Keaty,
who only cared about 2 things...
Thank you, Lord,
for the twin pillars of civilization:
Christianity and cricket.
There were the Swedes--
Christo, Sten, and Karl.
We like fishing.
Fishing. Yeah.
And in the winter,
we like skiing.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Of course, in Thailand,
there is no skiing.
We wait, okay?
We wait until the fish come.
Get it?
Shit. No way!
Whoo!
And I said unto thee,
"I shall provide!"
Yeah!
- Stop it.
- What?
our resident chef
was known as Unhygenix...
Let's cook.
on account of
his obsession with soap.
Fish, fish, fish.
Still I smell fish.
There was a range of sporting
and leisure activities
to suit all tastes.
Etienne is good at soccer.
I could do that if l wanted to.
I just don't want to.
What are you talking about?
Making conversation.
do you have a girlfriend?
Here?
Anywhere.
No. Why?
Just making conversation.
Right arm over wicket,
Is there anyone who
still does not understand?
The only person I didn't like
was Sal's boyfriend Bugs,
our on-island carpenter.
Hey, Richard.
Can you do this?
Can you make anything?
A man should have
a talent in his hands.
Here we go, people!
Whoo!
So every community has its rituals.
Well, ours was simple.
The last one to arrive
tattoos the next.
It fucking hurts, okay?
What did he say?
Andy, bring yours closer.
Come on, Richard.
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Oh, Jesus!
That fucking hurt!
All in all, this really was paradise.
Except for one thing:
desire is desire wherever you go.
The sun will not bleach it,
nor the tide wash it away.
Francoise.
One--she's
just teasing you.
Richard: What are you
talking about?
In fact, even better than that--
sorry, sorry--
soccer than you.
and 6--you're a bit strange, rich.
Some girls
like that in a man,
but not usually the sort of girls
you want to be with.
Is that right?
Come on. Your last
girlfriend chucked you.
There must've been a reason.
Well, it was not my fault.
And 7--look at, look
at your thumbs, man.
They're well-defined.
What is that supposed to mean?
You play a lot of video games.
That is a powerful index
of incompatibility.
Well, why do I get the feeling
Iike you're trying to tell
me something here, Keaty?
You haven't a hope, mate,
not a bleeding chicken's
chance in Thailand.
Know what I mean?
thank you.
So, enjoy the beach
and cut the bullshit.
Thank you very much.
It's my pleasure.
No. no.
You, no.
You cannot--no. No! No.
Please leave me.
Leave me!
Hey, that's my bed.
No!
I can deal with it.
I don't want you
to deal with it!
It won't take a minute, Gregorio.
No! Really, no.
No. I must
go to mainland!
I'm sick.
I've got to. Sal!
What's this?
You want to go to the mainland
to see a dentist?
Yes.
It's out of the question.
Come on. It'll be fun.
I'll be the nurse.
It won't hurt. Be brave.
How's it going, Richard?
Fine. Fine.
You okay with this?
Yeah.
I mean, we have
a secret here, right?
Sometimes people need
to take a little pain
to keep it that way.
Excellent. Excellent attitude.
No problem.
You'll be okay.
Oh, shit!
Good work!
Kill the pain, boy.
Okay.
Take the drink.
Take a drink.
Bugs.
Bugs. thank you, Bugs.
Thank you.
Richard?
Yeah.
Would you like to come
to the beach with me?
Come on, Etienne.
Just throw one, man.
Okay.
Sure. Yeah.
Are you happy, Richard?
Happy?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess.
I mean, the beach, you know,
is just perfect.
do you think that I ignore you?
No.
But I do.
It's because I'm with Etienne.
It's difficult for me
to spend time with you.
I don't suppose that
there's any, you know,
special reason that you should...
spend time with me, that is.
Of course there is.
I like you a lot.
Have you--Have you told
this to Etienne or...
No.
It's our secret.
Okay.
Look! There.
The plankton. Shrimps.
When they're disturbed, they glow.
Come on.
That night, we promised ourselves,
and we honestly believed,
that no one would ever know.
I want to talk.
About what?
About you and Francoise.
What do you mean,
me and Francoise?
I mean, Richard...
that I want her to be happy.
Yeah. I mean, of course.
We all do, right?
Shut up!
Please shut the fuck up.
And if happy is with you,
then I will not stand in her way.
Etienne, man, I re--
I really don't know
what you're talking about.
Fuck you, Richard!
I know! Okay? I know.
Everybody knows!
The problem is seeing the fish.
With the heavy rain
and the bad light,
it's very difficult to catch them.
It could last for days.
Sometimes...
we get really hungry.
Give me that.
Richard!
Richard! Richard!
Richard!
I can't hear you!
You can't hear me.
- Shark!
- Shark!
Shark!
- Shark!
- Shark!
Nnhh!
All right. All right.
All right.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Now, before I start, there's--
there's just a couple of things
you have to remember.
Number one,
you have to remain calm.
Right?
And number 2,
you have to show no fear.
Teach it. Teach it.
Because the sharks--
you see, the sharks,
they can sense that fear...
just as easily as they
can sense blood.
And so it went for me...
just as I knew it would,
just as nature had ordained.
Its...jaw... wide open.
Row upon row
of these razor-sharp teeth,
glinting underwater
like jagged diamonds.
Its tail fin sweeping
back and forth as it
surged in for the kill.
I swear to God...
my whole life
flashed before my eyes.
Really. I had nothing left to offer
except for pure reflex,
pure reflex and mankind's
basic drive for survival
that somehow shouts, " No!
I will not die today!"
And at that instant, man,
I knew it was
either the shark or me.
The shark knew it.
I knew it.
But, jeez, God...
it--it's nothing personal, right?
You know, it's just
the way the world works.
Right? It's nature.
But if l remember correctly...
in that last glimmer of its eyes,
there was a moment between us...
where he said,
" Hey, Richard, man..."
"enjoy your dinner."
Strange thing, killing a shark.
Isn't it, Richard?
Just a big fish, Bugs.
Just a big fish?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe when it's just a baby
and it hasn't really learned
to kill yet,
then maybe it's just a big fish.
But when it's a
great white angry mother
with a taste of human blood
on its tongue,
now, that's a different story.
Oh, God, jeez...
I'm--I'm sorry, bugs.
Is it just me,
or does this wet weather
make everyone so damn tired?
Jeez, maybe we can hear
your very different,
and I'm sure very interesting,
story some other time, huh?
Very interesting. Keaty.
Vero interessanto.
Tim.
Hygie.
Molto interessante.
Good night, young lovers.
Shut up.
Good night.
For a while,
we were untouchable
in our happiness.
All right, everybody.
Quiet.
We have a situation.
It's not a disaster,
but as some of you
may have heard,
a couple of sacks
of rice have become
contaminated by a fungus.
That's 'cause we
keep it in that shack.
How many more times does
this have to happen?
Rice run.
Which means that someone
will have to come
to Koh Pha Ngan with me
to buy some more rice.
So don't all volunteer at once.
Richard?
Yeah?
Are you gonna come
to Koh Pha Ngan with me?
I don't know. I mean--
I'll go with you.
Don't worry, Bugs.
Richard's gonna come,
aren't you?
Am I?
Who thinks Richard should come?
All right. Then I'll go to
Koh Pha Ngan with you.
Good.
I want a toothpaste and--
and a toothbrush, yeah?
All right.
Ahem. A new pair of swim trunks
and a new hat.
Richard...
and 4 double-a batteries
and 20 condoms.
Make it 40 condoms.
And a bottle of vodka.
Oh, fuck this.
Smell it. It's a part of me.
I am becoming a fish, Richard.
Ordinary soap for ordinary
people is a waste of time.
I need something toxic,
something industrial. okay?
Okay.
A tin of beef curry. Yummy.
Yummy.
As many triple-a batteries
as you can find, right?
And a copy of...
the Daily Telegraph.
Just for the cricket, you know?
Oh.
Please fill this bag with a soft bog roll.
Soft bog roll?
Jasmine tea, tiger balm,
lip balm, tea tree oil...
a big box of bleach.
Hair conditioner, skin conditioner...
anything based on sugar.
cumin, saffron, cinnamon...
antiperspirant, and makeup remover.
Ahem.
What do you want?
Okay.
When you get to Koh Pha Ngan,
keep your hands to yourself
and your dick in your pants.
Ohh...shit.
Oh, shit.
I'd really been looking forward
to air conditioning
and some cold beer,
but when we got to Koh Pha Ngan...
I just wanted to leave again.
And in one moment, I understood
more clearly than ever
why we were so special...
why we kept our secret...
because if we didn't,
sooner or later,
they'd turn it into this.
Cancers...
parasites...
eating up the whole fucking world.
A couple months.
Maybe--Maybe a year, even.
Yeah, really.
Ri--
No. I like it out here, you know?
Things are different.
I said things are different!
Yeah.
No. I'll call again.
I'll call again.
I promise.
Okay.
All right, I miss you, too.
All right.
Okay.
All right, bye.
Bye.
So, how does it feel to be
back in the real world?
It's not
like I remembered it.
It gets worse every time.
It is Richard! Damn!
God! How ya doing, man?
Good to see ya.
Oh, Sammy, come on over, man!
Yo, Ricardo. What's up, bro?
Girls, I want you to meet the man!
He's the man.
Hil und Eva, deisem is Richard.
The man with the map.
Dermensch mit den wanderkarte?
Yo, yo, rich.
They're gonna come with us, bro.
They're coming with us.
Sorry it's been so long,
but, you know,
we're just chillin' out.
You know how it is, right?
Listen, guys.
I--I made a mistake.
Mistake?
What mistake?
What are you
talking about?
No. Listen to me.
There is no beach.
I can't believe to see you, dude.
There's no beach?
Yeah. No. Seriously, the map thing?
It was--It was fake.
It was just like
you said, dude.
- It was a story.
- Right.
No! It's--It's a myth.
Really.
I-it doesn't exist.
- Come on.
- The map,
- It was a fake.
- Yeah, yeah.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
You wouldn't be holding out on us,
would ya? Let me guess.
It's a fucking
paradise!
It doesn't exist.
Oh, man...
what are you taking about?
I think, you know, Zeph,
he's just tryin' to fuck with--
I'm trying to tell you to forget it!
All right, asshole!
Well, that's the last time
I buy you a fuckin' beer.
So you told them
where you were going?
Yeah.
And they saw the map?
Do they have a copy?
No.
Okay.
Well, we can relax for a bit.
I doubt they have it in them
to get there, anyway.
But, Richard, I don't think we
should tell anybody about this.
Okay?
I think we should keep it
between you and me.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Whew.
Well, I'm going to go and play
a couple of games of pool
with Sumet.
Sumet? Snook?
So, why don't you go
and warm the bed?
Come on.
Sal?
Sal?
I just have a question.
It was very nice.
No. That's not it.
It's about Bugs.
Okay.
It's like this.
Bugs is my boyfriend...
my partner.
Okay?
And you are someone
I just had sex with.
All right?
Oh, th-that's fine.
That's absolutely fine.
Good.
Now get some sleep.
I may wish to have sex again
before we eat breakfast.
It was a deal.
She wouldn't tell anyone
about the map.
I had paid for her silence
and bought my ticket back.
But I didn't even want to
think about the real price.
All right, Rich,
we're ready to heave!
Okay!
Got it, Keaty?
Yeah! No probs.
Problem solved.
All right, here's your bleach.
Who got the makeup remover?
I have 2 of'em.
Extra! Extra!
Oh, Richard, man!
I love you!
One pretty little
pink bag for you.
Oh, great! Lovely.
Did you get batteries?
Right here.
Yes!
# I can see my pretty girl #
That's all for you.
Hey, Ricardo! Grazie.
One tin of beef curry!
One...
disposable camera.
I know it's not as good
as the one you left behind,
and you'll probably have to
wait a while for the prints,
but what the hell, right?
No, it doesn't matter. I like it.
What's wrong?
How was it?
The rice run? Fine.
No problem.
I mean being with Sal.
Fine. I mean, we got along okay.
Some people say
she's attracted to you.
Shit. I...
I really wouldn't have noticed that.
Nothing happened?
No, of course not.
You promise?
I was so happy to be back
that I couldn't bear
to spoil the moment.
Yes. Yes, I promise.
I missed you.
Okay, come on, everybody!
Come on, please!
Come on, please.
All together. Close together.
Please.
Okay, close together.
Okay, stand back there,
please.
Okay.
So 1...2...3!
so I started just where I'd left off.
It was almost like
my trip to Koh Pha Ngan
never happened.
Almost.
Shark!
Shut up, you fucker!
My--My--My leg.
My leg.
We can take you to
the hospital, all right?
We can do that.
But when you're there,
you mustn't tell anybody
where this happened.
All right? We have
to keep our secret.
What's he saying?
He says that we are to bring help
here for him.
He won't go near the water.
Yeah, well, I understand that,
but we can't bring anybody here.
We can't do that.
Bring help!
You gotta bring help!
We can't, Christo!
You have to go,
or you stay here
and take your chances.
Anyone disagree?
What is he saying?
He wants to know
what happened to his friend.
We're gathered here today
to say our last respect to Sten.
May God take your soul,
and you will rest
forever in peace, mate.
We'll miss ya.
Yorg esca de from Christo and me.
Reposti im pace,
from Lorenzo.
# Old pirates, yes, they rob I #
# Sold I to the merchant ships #
# Minutes after they took I #
# From the bottomless pit #
# And my hand was made strong #
# By the hand of the almighty #
#We forward in this generation #
#Triumphantly #
#Won't you help to sing #
#These songs of freedom #
# 'Cause all I ever had #
# Redemption songs #
# Redemption songs #
After the funeral,
we all tried to get back to normal...
But it just didn't seem right.
Pretty soon, it became clear
that the problem was Christo.
Shut up!
You see, in a shark attack,
or any other major tragedy,
I guess,
the important thing
is to get eaten and die--
in which case, there's a funeral,
and somebody makes a speech,
and everybody says
what a good guy you were--
or get better, in which case,
everyone can forget about it.
I can't take this.
Christo, please.
Get better or die.
It's the hanging around in between
that really pisses people off.
Listen to me.
You can't do this.
This is disgusting.
Take him back.
Fucking animals.
What are you doing this for?
Huh? Tell me.
How can you do this?
Richard?
Fucking bastards!
Bastards.
It would be a lot easier
to condemn our behavior
if it hadn't been so effective,
but out of sight
really was out of mind.
Once he was gone,
we felt a whole lot better.
On the beach, it's easy
to turn your back,
but not always so easy to forget.
Pay them in dollars,
fuck their daughters,
and turn it into wonderland, Richard.
Richard, come with me.
Is that or is that not
a map she's holding?
And did you or did you not
make that copy?
You know, the lying
doesn't bother me,
but that map is trouble.
The farmers, right?
You remember,
those men with guns.
They said to us-- They told us--
no more people.
And now it looks like
we're handing out
fucking tour guides.
Sal, I mean...
we could explain, right?
I mean, we could tell 'em
it was Daffy.
"We could explain."
I want you up here every day
until those people come.
- Here?!.
- Yes, here.
And when they come,
I want you
to get the map back.
Okay? Whatever happens,
you get the map back.
W-w-wait, Sal.
Wait. Sal, take a look at this.
I mean, they could
be there for weeks.
That's right, and you'll
be here waiting for them.
W-what am I supposed to do
when they actually get here?
Get the map!
You drew it.
You handed it out.
Now you get it back
and turn them away!
Sal! Sal!
Are you gonna tell
everyone else what I did?
Now, this was truly
a pain in the ass.
I mean, I didn't want
these people to come here
any more than Sal did,
but what exactly
did she expect me to do?
Chase them away?
Threaten them?
I mean, with what?
By the time these kids got here,
I'd probably have starved to death.
Sal?
Sal, is that you?
Get that light out of my--
You're a pig!
Damn it!
What the fuck was that for?
Look, there's nothing I could do.
I have to
stay up here!
Not that, okay?
What is it, then?
You and Sal in Koh Pha Ngan.
Oh, that.
Yes, that!
She has told everyone,
and me, I'm the last one
to find out!
At least she believes
in honesty, not like you.
I mean, Francoise, I...
Wh-what can I say?
Nothing. There is nothing you can say.
Thank you.
Thank you for making
my life just perfect!
Super!
God damn it!
Shit!
You are
such an idiot!
even though I knew
it would happen,
I was crushed.
And I guess I deserved it.
I mean, I could have given her
all the excuses she wanted,
but it still wouldn't have
made any difference.
Great! Great!
At first, I thought
I was gonna die up here,
that my entire world
was gonna end.
But it didn't.
In fact, pretty soon, I found
that there were
plenty of other things
to keep me occupied,
and before I knew it,
I found that love-- like grief--
tends to fade away
and be replaced
by something more exciting.
And life up on the hill
turned out to be
a big improvement.
I mean, up here, I could do
whatever I wanted.
There was no fishing duty,
no gardening shit,
no hassle from Bugs
or Etienne or Francoise.
I was playing my own game now,
and I had absolutely
no reason to go back.
Okay, so I was just
foolin' around...
but the longer I stayed away
from the community,
the less I missed them.
And I found new players,
even if they didn't know it yet.
this forest was my territory...
retrieving the map, my mission...
and these, my defenders.
I was the only one with the overview
of how it all fitted together:
the island...
me...
them...
the invaders.
All connected,
all playing the same game.
And at the center of it all,
one man.
Daffy.
Inside!
Take a look, Richard!
Viruses, Richard!
Cancers!
The big, chunky charlie's
eating up the whole world!
Right there!
Down on the beach!
Down on the street!
Pay them in dollars
and fuck their daughters!
It starts with 4,
Richard!
They multiply!
It's time to stop them!
Year zero, kiddo!
Year zero!
Are you with me
or against me?
I'm with you
all the way, Daffy!
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
Richard?
Yeah.
Where you been, man?
What are you doing
sitting in the dark?
Improving my night vision.
What for, man?
You know who I think about a lot?
I have no idea.
Daffy.
Daffy?
Uh-huh.
I admire him.
You hardly knew him.
True...
but he had a certain style.
Come here.
Now.
Fucking come here!
Get in there.
They're talking about you.
He does no work in the garden.
But he steals our food.
I'm sure of it.
You hear that? You hear
what they're saying?
Karl: Idle, sponging, useless prick!
Now get your fucking act
together, Richard, man.
You can't do this.
You can't run around in the dark
not talkin' to nobody.
What you think
you're playin' at, man?
What's happened to you?
You was all right.
Just a couple of weeks ago,
you was fine,
and now what the fuck is going--
Look at you.
And you're talking about Daffy?
Daffy was a nutter, right?
He went up there, and he lost it.
He's gone.
Richard. Richard.
do you hear what
I'm saying to you?
Don't lose it like him.
do you understand
what I'm saying?
Don't go there. Stay with us.
Co-come back, Rich.
These are good people.
They don't talk about people
all the time.
They're talking about you
because you're fucked up.
All right? Don't do this, man.
I got it under control.
And now it looks like we're
handing out fucking tour guides!
Mushroom, Richard?
No, thank you, Daffy.
I don't need any help
to see the writing on the wall.
I'm very glad to hear that, Richard.
Got to keep my head clear.
You know what I mean?
Getting closer. Any day now.
Year zero?
That's the spirit, kiddo.
You know something?
You led the way, Daffy.
You showed me the truth.
But it doesn't matter
what I think anymore.
It's up to you now.
I won't let you down.
Hey, Richard.
No offense, but, uh--
You're fucked in the head,
right?
It's been real nice
knowing you, Daffy.
We're on patrol in the delta.
Search and destroy.
We're not making any contact.
So the lieutenant,
he says to me:
You get out there
and draw their fire!
It's never
gonna happen, sir.
Are you refusing an order, son?
It certainly looks that way, sir.
Yeah, it looks that way, sir!
My M-16 just went off, man.
It just went off.
What are we waiting for?
Let's go!
There's no other
explanation, man!
We're in dope heaven!
# I smoke 2 joints in the morning #
# I smoke 2 joints at night #
# I smoke 2 joints in the afternoon #
# And then I feel all right #
# I smoke 2 joints
in times of peace #
# And 2 in times of war #
# I smoke 2 joints
before I smoke 2 joints #
# and then I smoke 2 more #
Hi.
Oh, shit.
We're Americans.
Tourists.
American.
We, uh, we--we had a map,
and we-- we came here,
but we made a mistake.
We made a mistake,
and--and we're sorry.
We'll go now.
Come on.
Um, we just want--
we just want to go.
Give 'em something, dude.
Give them some money.
Look! American dollars!
I've got American dollars.
You want American money?
Here. You can have them.
Hey, hey, hey.
I've got-- I've got my watch.
It plays a tune.
This is our 6th year.
Yeah!
I want to look ahead...
because I see that
beyond any problems
that we might have had,
right--
beyond any problems
that we might have--
that we have so much
here to inspire us.
and I'm not just talking
about the island.
I'm talking about you.
You are what
makes this place work.
And it does.
I tried to remember
the person I used to be,
but I just couldn't do it...
To the island!
To you!
and so long as I stayed here...
to the future!
I'd never find him again.
Come with me.
I've got to talk to you.
Listen, I've got to talk to you!
Stop!
Listen to me! I've got--
I've got to talk to you! Stop!
Francoise, listen!
I've got to talk--
Stop! God damn it! Stop!
Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop!
I'm not gonna hurt you!
All right?
It's just me.
It's just me--Richard.
Remember?
The guy who can't play soccer.
The guy without a girlfriend.
Remember?
I've just been away
for a while.
That's all. That's all.
Listen. Etienne, I really fucked up.
I don't know what else they're gonna do,
but we have to leave now.
That's it. Just the 3 of us.
Just like before.
Richard...
I can't leave him.
Then, we'll take him with us.
But look at him.
Look at him, Richard.
We can't move him. It's gangrene.
It's spreading.
He's gonna die.
Wait for me at the boat.
Christo had suffered
because we wouldn't
let anything spoil our fun.
In the perfect beach resort,
nothing is allowed to interrupt
the pursuit of pleasure.
Not even dying.
do you think I want to hurt you?
I'm a farmer.
That's all. Understand?
I work.
I send the money to my family.
If too many people
come to this island,
it's trouble for me.
I can't work,
I can't send the money,
and my family don't eat.
I said no more people,
but more people come.
And you.
You give them the map!
Now, you all go home.
Forget this island.
Forget about Thailand.
Understand? Huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
No.
What?
No.
We're not leaving.
This is our home, too.
This is our house.
We built it with our own hands,
and we are not leaving.
Oh, Sal. Sal.
I think-- I think you're making
a big mistake here. Really.
If he says that we should leave--
Richard, shut up!
This is all your fault, anyway.
You copied the map, Richard.
You are a clever boy.
The one who sneak around.
You steal from us,
Let him go! Ugh!
play with guns,
and you bring people here.
If you want to stay.
If you want to stay.
Sal. Sal.
Fuck. Sal, no!
Sal. Listen.
Don't be crazy, okay?
You can't!
Don't be crazy, Sal.
Put the gun down.
You let us down, Richard.
You brought us trouble.
You can't, Sal.
Make her stop!
Make her stop!
You need to help!
You need to help me!
You fucking bastards!
Come on, Sal.
Please, Sal.
You can't do it.
You can't do it, Sal.
Fuck!
'Cause if you pull that trigger, Sal--
If you pull that trigger,
it's all fucking over,
and you know it.
Come on.
'Cause this time...
This time, it's not like Christo
rotting out in the woods
where no one could see.
It's not like the 4 people
that I saw killed today.
This time, everyone
has to watch, Sal.
Everyone has to see what it takes
to keep our little paradise a secret.
Come on, everyone, watch!
Shut up.
Everyone watch Sal do this.
Yeah, go on, Sal, do it.
- Come on.
- Do it.
Come on, do it, yeah.
Let 'em see the blood
this time, huh? Huh?
Let's see if they can take it.
God!
They can take it.
No! No! No! No!
No! No! No!
Come on.
Hold on to me.
Game over,
but she was never gonna leave.
She believed in it all way
too much to ever change,
so that's exactly
where we left her.
#We sailed over 7 seas #
# Searchin' for that missin' key #
# Unlockin' you #
#The world's harmony #
# I climbed the highest
mountain range #
# And then we took the longest... #
And as for the rest of us...
we carried away our sins
and made our way back
to wherever it was
that we called home...
to pick up the pieces
of whatever was waiting.
Of course, you can never
forget what you've done.
But we adapt.
We carry on.
# I hear the rhythm
in the river's run #
# And blinding, fainting desert sun #
# Hear them today #
#They all are strong #
# And distant forces
in the far-off sky #
# Led us to that elusive place #
#To the new sound #
# I will testify #
Can I get you anything?
No, thanks.
# Na na-na na... #
And me?
I still believe in paradise.
But now at least I know it's
not some place you can look for.
Because it's not where you go.
It's how you feel
for a moment in your life
when you're a part of something.
And if you find that moment...
it lasts forever.
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
#Yeah, yeah #
# I believe #
#There's a time #
# And a place #
#To let your mind drift #
# And get out of this place #
# I believe #
#There's a day #
# And a place #
#That we will go to #
# And I know you wanna share #
#There's no secret to livin' #
#Secret to livin' #
#Just keep on #
#Walkin' #
#There's no secret to dyin' #
#There's no secret to dyin' #
#Just keep on #
# Flyin' #
# I'm gonna die in #
# A place that don't know #
# My name #
# I'm gonna die in #
# A space
that don't hold #
# My name #
#Walkin' in the cold #
#Just keep on #
# Flyin' #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
# God knows, you lonely souls #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
#Yeah #
# I'm a lonely soul #
# 'Cause we are lonely souls #
# 'Cause we are lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# Lonely souls #
# I'm a lonely soul #
#So alone #
# In the shadows #
# Pack up your light #
# Pack up your light #
#Say good-bye
to the whole world #
# Light #
# I #
# Need you now #
# I #
# Am lonely #
# Don't you need me? #