Beethoven (1992) Movie Script
Slow down, slow down. Move it back up.
-Here we go.|-They`re drivin` me crazy!
-Don`t go too fast.|-Come on!
-What`s the matter?|-You threw the cage on my foot!
-l didn`t do that.|-Yes, you did.
l need puppies.
-Okay. All right. Come on.|-Puppies.
Hi there. lsn`t that the sweetest?
-He`s cool.|-l think he likes us.
What a cute guy.
lsn`t he cute?
Hi, puppy.
No, absolutely not.
How big`s he gonna be?
St. Bernards get to be about 150 pounds.
l got a junkyard.|l need a big, mean junkyard dog.
Let me see him.
Come here, puppy.
He looks good and mean.
l don`t know. He`s pretty sweet.
You can make any dog mean.
Damn little beast! God!
You got any pit bulls?
Come on. lt`s a pushover.
l cased the place.
What about the cops?|What about video surveillance?
You`re crazy if you`re gonna walk up|just like this.
What about the alarm?
All you gotta do is step over.
-l got you.|-Okay, okay.
There, you see?|ln and out, quiet as a mouse.
Let`s get some dogs.
Come on, puppy.|We`re just goin` for a little car ride.
Look at the wee, little ones.|Come here, little puppies.
Here we go.
Come on, puppy. Here puppy, nice puppy.
l`ve stepped in the beam.
Here, puppy, nice puppy.
See, didn`t l tell ya?
Doesn`t this beat|takin` strays off the street?
-You are a genius!|-Get off!
Sorry! l`m sorry.
l`m just a little bit excited.|That`s my very first felony.
l`ve committed a lot of misdemeanors,|but that was my first felony.
Why are they barking?
They`re dogs.
l know they`re dogs!|Go in the back and check.
Okay, doggies, what`s the racket back--
Okay, doggies, back in your house.
Back in your house.|Here, doggie, nice doggie.
No, doggie. Don`t jump.
Bad dog!
Good puppy!
Bad puppy, don`t jump!
Good puppy, don`t jump!
Come back! Stop the van!
Harv, what is it?|Why did you want me to stop?
Hurry, they`re gettin` away.
Hey, you, come back here!
Come here! l`ll give you a bone!
Come back here, you little runt!
Come here, you!
Ted, l`m sorry.
What`s wrong?|Did you have another nightmare?
Yeah.
Mom, it`s Saturday and it`s 7:02.|Do we really have to get up?
Yep, you heard your father.
l know, Daddy`s rules.
That`s it! l`m not gonna take it anymore.
Mom, l have a news flash for you.|lt`s Saturday!
-Yeah, l know, honey.|-This sucks!
Why do we have to get up|so early on Saturday?
Ask your father. Don`t say `"sucks.`"
The bathroom`s mine!
-Nanny, nanny!|-Shut up! Let me in.
Open up, you little wimp! Let me in!
-Mom! Let me in!|-You have no bladder control.
Wait till l get my hands on you. Let me in!
A puppy!
Hi!
Guys, do you have to--
l dreamt l had a puppy, and it came true!
Honey.
l take back everything l said|about you being cold and insensitive.
Dad, l take back|anything l ever said about you, too.
Dad, l have everything l ever wanted.
-l owe you big time.|-Why?
Daddy, can we call him Fred?
-Let me have him. lt`s my turn.|-No, it`s my turn!
-l saw him first!|-l`m gonna have him for five more minutes.
We can`t have a dog. We can`t have a dog!
You can`t show a child a puppy,|then take it away two minutes later.
l didn`t show a child a puppy.|lt`s obviously lost.
-Occupy the kids. l`ll run to the pound.|-No, no way!
-lt`ll be destroyed.|-lf we keep it, the house will be destroyed!
-lt`s a dog. Millions of people have dogs.|-Not people like me.
Dogs sniff. They lick, they chew.|They drool, they scratch--
-Alice, they have parasites.|-Oh, God, yeah.
The kids`ll lose interest.|l`ll have to care for it.
lt`ll grow to be enormous.|lt`ll take over the yard.
The lawn`ll look terrible.
When the dog finally settles down, it`ll die.
Everybody will be upset. We`ll have|to get another puppy. Start all over.
-Do you understand?|-No. Could you be more specific?
-Alice, l need a little support.|-Okay, l`m sorry. All right.
How shall we handle this?
Go tell the kids.
-Come on.|-Come over here.
He loves me the most.
-Hi, kids.|-Hi, Dad.
-Can he sleep in my room?|-No, he`s sleeping in my room.
-l`m the oldest. He`s sleeping in my room.|-He`s not sleeping in anyone`s room.
Listen to me a minute.
We are `"people`" people here.|We are `"goldfish`" people.
We`re `"ant farm`" people.
We`re not `"dog`" people.
Dad, why can`t you just give us a chance?
You`re always saying|we have to have responsibility.
That`s true.
lt`s my decision. l mean, l`ve decided.
l knew it!
Better think of something to name him.
When he destroys my house,|l wanna know what to call him!
-Thank you.|-This is temporary.
This is temporary until we find the owner.
Okay, the dog`s name will be....
-What is it?|-What`s his name gonna be?
You can`t change it. That`s the rules.
Okay. Emily?
Did you do your name in a crayon?
l don`t think words for parts|of the body make good names.
But he`s got one of those. l looked.
l`m sure he does, but l don`t think Daddy...
...wants to stand on the front porch|at night yelling that out.
But that`s what you call Uncle Richard.
Okay, the dog`s name will be....
You asked for my input.
-What?|-Nothing. Let`s just call the dog Rover.
-Mom, please, M.C. Hammer.|-Ultimate Warrior.
M.C. Hammer? No, no, Rover.
He doesn`t like any of those names.
-Right! Like you can read his mind!|-Ryce!
Emily, what does the dog|want his name to be?
This is ridiculous! lt`s a dog.|He doesn`t have preferences!
Call him Ding Dong.|He wouldn`t know the difference.
Yes, he would!
He`ll tell us what he wants to be called.
Beethoven.
Roll over. Come on, boy. Roll over.
You!
No, no, no!
lf this business is gonna grow,|we need more money.
They`re talking about $25,000.|l said, `"That`s no good.`"
They said, `"No?`" l said, `"No.`"
lf this is gonna take off,|l need some capital, not a Band-Aid.
They said, `"What kind of figures|are we talking about?`"
l said, `"$150,000 sounds|like a good neighborhood to me.`"
You really said that?
This is a business.|What am l gonna do with $25,000?
Advertising, signs, but l`m optimistic.
-Ted, get down here.|-Where`s my shoes?
-l don`t know, honey, just backtrack.|-Mom, please?
Look behind the bathroom door.
-Daddy?|-What?
He wants you to scratch his head.
You know, l don`t wanna scratch his head.
Back off, back off!
But he wants you to.
Sometimes we don`t get what we want.|That`s not how it works.
lf l don`t get this deal, l`ll kill myself!
Honey, don`t talk like that|in front of the kids.
lf l can just get them to smell the stuff.|Air fresheners are visceral products--
-l got a great idea.|-What?
Can l have karate lessons?
l didn`t get any bacon.|What do you want karate lessons for?
Brenda`s littler than me,|and she`s got a green belt.
Why don`t we skip the lessons|and get you the belt?
No! Come on!
He slimed me! He slobbed! Look at this!
Don`t worry about it.
l`ve got dog drool on my pants!
l can`t meet with Vanguard Capital|with dog drool on my pants!
-Just change your pants.|-l`m gonna change my pants.
l had a schedule and now it`s gone.|l`ll never have that again!
-Just change, George.|-l`m gonna change my pants.
Then l gotta change my jacket.
lf l change my jacket, l change my shirt.|lf l change my shirt, l change my tie.
l have to change my belt, shoes and socks.
Just change your pants, George.
l don`t need you to drool all over me,|for God sakes!
You`re so smart!|What am l telling you about?
Listen to me!
Bye, honey.
Sorry. Good luck.
A little Kleenex or something.
Hi, puppy.
Thirsty, huh?
Easy, buddy. Save some for the fishes.
Look at Tom. He`s wide open. Shoot it!
Put it up. Put it up!
-This guy`s all over me.|-Shoot it.
Yeah!
All right, that`s it. Hit the showers.
Give me 10. Let`s go, hustle.
Hi, Mark.
-You`re sweaty.|-You like it?
Air fresheners are the 12th fastest-growing|area in household hygiene.
Fascinating!
All of these use a two-dip process|that guarantees a longer smell life.
Smell this. That smell nice?
lf we get the right amount of capital,|we can take this place to the top.
l don`t just mean successful.|l mean dominant.
Here`s a favorite. Look at this.
-New leather.|-That`s cute.
-l could use that in my Beemer.|-l could use it in my Beemer!
A lot of people could use `em|in their Beemers.
l wouldn`t want to hang it|from my rearview mirror. Tacky!
No, there`s Velcro on the back.
People hide them.|A lot put it under their dashboard.
lngenious! Bravo, Newton. Kudos.
Thank you.
Let`s get Ted.
Hey, Teddy boy.|That`s a nice lunch you got there.
-A veritable nutrition lesson.|-Oh, yeah.
Don`t forget to wash it down|with a big glass of milk.
Oh, man!
See ya on the bus.
Hi! Miss Simpkins made me stay after.
Want a Twinkie?
Hold on a minute.
Good boy.
See over there?
That`s Donna Ditsworth.
She`s the most popular girl|in the whole school.
Her hair is perfect. Her teeth are perfect.
Even Mark thinks she`s perfect.
Beethoven!
Hey, check out Fido.
-What a cool-lookin` dog.|-l bet you wanna play fetch.
You gotta give me the stick|if you want me to throw it.
Where we going?
-Cool dog.|-Cool dog.
ls he yours?
-What`s his name?|-Beethoven.
-Wow. Hi, Beethoven.|-Hey, Beethoven.
Cool dog. Good boy.
Well, see you later, Ryce.
Yes! He knows my name!
He knows my name.
No question about it. You`ve built yourself|something impressive here.
Thank you very much.
-That mean you`re interested?|-Absolutely.
We`ve smelled a lot of stuff.
l speak for myself as well|as the `"Brie Meister`" when l say...
...yours smells the best.
That`s great. Thanks a lot.
We`re gonna crunch some numbers.
-Maybe we can get together later.|-That would be great.
-We`re looking forward to it.|-l`ll get it.
-Thank you.|-Ciao.
-Ciao, George.|-Ciao, bello.
-Ciao, bello.|-Ciao!
Ciao.
Ciao.
How ya doin`, Theodore?
-Nice backpack, Teddy!|-Can l see it?
Sorry!
Why do you guys always pick on me?
`Cause you`re a little four-eyed dork.
Give them back!
They`re mine. Give them back!
Where you going, Teddy?
Wait up, Theodore.|We wanna walk you home.
What are you, a chicken?
Come on. Scaredy-cat!
Scared? Come on, fight me.
-Now he can`t even see.|-Blind as a bat!
What`s going on here?
He looks mean!
Yeah.
-Give him the glasses.|-Sorry.
And don`t come back!
l know it doesn`t mean that he likes me.
But he`s gotta like me better|than before he said my name.
You think he could like me, Beethoven?
l know you like me.
Good night, sweetheart.
You, out!
Good night, Beethoven.
-Good night, honey.|-Good night, Dad.
Mark.
All right! You, in here!
You sleep in here. l sleep there. You--
See, that`s very nice.
That`s progress. l appreciate that.|Good night.
Good night.
Ever since you started looking|for investors you seem--
-You wanted us to expand.|-l want you to be happy.
You even said you`d come back to work.
l said l`d give you one wish|for your birthday.
l wish you`d come back to work.
There`s other things that are important.|l like being home when the kids get home.
l don`t want them|to come home to some stranger.
We`ll get a great baby-sitter,|somebody reliable that the kids`ll love.
...in the third occurrence this month.
We`ve seen a 500 percent increase|in the reported incidence of stolen pets.
Police believe an animal kidnapping ring|is at work.
That`s News Break. Back to The Wolfman.
-Did you hear something?|-No.
l heard something downstairs.
You were right. The TV was on.
l don`t know.|l hope l`m doing the right thing.
lt feels like a good idea to expand...
...but l don`t want to do it|at everybody`s expense.
We have to get somebody wonderful|to take care of the kids.
No question about that.
Sometimes it`s hard|to know what the right thing is.
No matter how many showers l take...
...l still smell Beethoven all over me.
Are you okay? You`re so quiet.
You`re not mad at me, are you?
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby, it`s not even Saturday night.
Alice, you drive me crazy.
Has Daddy`s little girl|been naughty tonight?
George?
Who you talking to?
How dare you! Are you crazy?
Did you think|you were gonna get away with it?
That`s how you do it!
l`ll put a stop to that.
You`ve ruined my life!
You`ve ruined my furniture!|You`ve ruined my clothes!
My family likes you|more than they like me.
Why? All you do is drool and shed and eat.
You`re never getting|out of there again. Never!
Do we understand each other?
Hey, little buddy. How ya doin`?
Thank you. Good work.
-Vernon!|-Come on, Harvey.
-Can l tell you something?|-What?
-l don`t like it when you tease the dogs.|-Are you some kind of animal lover?
We`ve developed|a new type of ammunition.
lt explodes on contact.
We`d like you to use|this revolver for the tests.
We want to know the extent|of the damage at close range.
You wanna know how messy it is.
l presume you can get dogs|with big skulls for the tests.
Newfoundlands, Great Danes, St. Bernards.
Large dogs are difficult to come by...
...harder to manage.
l`m sure we`ll be able to handle it.
-Mr. Newton?|-Yes.
l`m Dr. Varnick. This must be Beethoven.
He`s a magnificent animal. Magnificent!
Magnificent!
-ln for his shots?|-That`s right.
He`ll be a little groggy this evening.
That`ll be nice.
Perhaps you should leave him overnight|for observation.
-l`d be happy to.|-Dad!
lt`s just a shot. He`ll be okay.
Let`s take him home.|He`s scared and wants to go home.
l wonder if l might have a word|with you privately.
Sure.
Good dog.
Take good care of these nice people.
They aren`t gonna hurt Beethoven,|are they?
Nothing could hurt Beethoven.
Please, sit down.
Mr. Newton, have you....
Have you noticed anything strange|about your dog lately?
You know, l mean, he`s destroyed my life.
l wish l was kidding.
That`s very funny.|St. Bernards have been heavily over-bred.
There`s been quite a bit written|about certain behavioral problems.
What kind of problems?
l don`t know how to say this, but l`ve had|to put down several over the past months.
They have a tendency to turn on people...
...attack without provocation.
l only mention this|because you have children.
Good boy!
George, come on.|Beethoven isn`t even remotely dangerous.
He`d never hurt the kids.
He might take a bite out of you, though.
First snarl, first any kind of weirdness|and he`s gone.
Weirdness? What should l watch for,|his wearing my clothes around the house?
Good boy!
You guys are gonna love Devonia.
l don`t need a baby-sitter.
How come you gotta|go back to work, anyway?
There`s no point of us|going into this with a bad attitude.
Hi there, you little cutie!
Don`t you worry about a thing.|We`re gonna get along great. Right, kids?
l`ll be back before dinner,|so it`s not that long.
We`re gonna do neat stuff.
l was hopin` we could sing a tune together.|You like music?
What kind of music?
How about Herb Alpert|and the Tijuana Brass? Oh, sorry.
l am a nut for the disco beat!
Okay, kids, be good.
-You`ve had some time to think and--|-And we made our decision.
We wanna get in bed|with Newton Auto Air Fresheners.
Excellent! That`s just great!
-Thank you very much.|-As quickly as possible.
We can meet our lawyers today|and have the papers drawn up.
That`s excellent!
Let us take you out to dinner.
Are there any good restaurants|in this burg?
Restaurants. What?
-Why don`t you come to our house?|-We`ll barbecue.
Barbecue! Let`s live dangerously!
Well, our food may not be great,|but it`s not dangerous.
l hope it`s better than this espresso.
Help!
Help, somebody!
l love you, too.
Thanks, Beethoven. You saved my life.
But you better go home now.|Mom said to stay in the backyard.
You kids might be interested to know|that l am a performer...
...Saturday nights at the Padded Zebra.
Gosh! Emily`s in the pool!
The pool?
-Emily!|-What are you doing in the pool?
Get out this instant.|You want to get me into trouble?
-Emily, are you all right?|-l fell in.
Oh, Emily, you must`ve been so scared!
l thought l was gonna die.
You poor little thing.
Now, you were never|in any real danger, were you?
We don`t want you to get into trouble,|so we`ll let this be our little secret.
l`d like to call my mother, please.
-Your mother?|-lmmediately.
She must`ve snuck out|while l was watching Ted and Ryce.
lt was hot out, so l guess|she wanted to take a little swim.
Where were you|while this was happening?
Where l was supposed to be,|inside watching the other two.
lf Emily had stayed where l put her,|none of this would`ve happened.
lf you ask me, what these children need|is a little discipline.
What these children need is their mother.
You`re fired.
-Honey, it was an accident.|-So what?
lt is just that we had a bad baby-sitter.
We`ll find somebody responsible|to look after the kids.
-Over my dead body.|-Come on.
We`re fine on our own.|You don`t have to entertain us.
Do you have any kids?
We have a career.
Big one.
Excuse us.
-Brats.|-Monsters.
lf we pull this off...
...in six months we will own|Newton Auto Air Fresheners.
Touch it.
Sorry for the delay.
-We--|-No problem.
-Vegetables. Here you go.|-Look at that.
-Here`s the paperwork, Giorgio.|-l`ve got my own chair, honey.
-Look at that.|-You gonna do that now, honey?
Alicia.
-Alice.|-Alice.
l`m sorry. Alice.|Could l have a refill, please?
Sure.
Thank you.
Just right down at the bottom, George.
-This is everything we`ve discussed?|-Yes, exactly.
Right at the bottom, you can sign.
Don`t sign that now.|Let`s have something to eat?
-You can read it over--|-Alice, tell me about your dog.
Well, he`s a dog.
He sure is! Hello, cutesy-ootsy.
-He`s a St. Bernard.|-He`s a purebred St. Bernard, isn`t he?
Hello. Look at that big old tongue|you`ve got! Yes!
Look at that. Come here. Oh, yeah.
You wanna come with Mommy and Daddy?|Yes, you do.
Come on.|We`ll come to Mommy and Daddy.
Come on. Come on.
l just love these big, dumb animals.
l bet you do.
Dogs obey so much better|than children, don`t they?
Come here. Look, cutesy-ootsy-oogy.
Mama just loves|this great big doggie-woggie.
The places for you to sign...
...are marked by that blue clip right there.
This are all standard stuff?
You sure you wanna|`"signee-wignee`" right now?
Alice, l`m sorry.
l`ve got that. You be careful.|l don`t want you to break a nail.
Right down there where the blue arrow is.
Right there.
Honey, you sit. l`ve got this.
You guys don`t seem|to have made a good impression.
-l`m crushed.|-Me, too.
l`ll cry all night.
l don`t like `em either. But these people|are important to Dad`s business.
l hope Beethoven slimes that lady`s dress.
lf you don`t want our capital...
...we could find another investment|somewhere else.
-Sure!|-No, no, no.
-Beethoven, down, down.|-ls there some problem?
-No, no.|-Did l miss anything?
No. Giorgio has gone over all the papers...
...and he`s about to sign.
Just standard stuff, really.
Will you get outta here, you mutt!
l pitched in college.
Beethoven, stop!
Bad dog!
Sit! Stop! Stay!
Oh, no!
Beethoven!
l really don`t like our dog.
l really don`t like those people.
l don`t trust them.
l don`t want their money.
l know my opinion doesn`t matter,|but l`m not interested in expanding.
lf l had been home instead|of helping you impress those morons...
...Emily wouldn`t have fallen in the pool.
And l`m not re-entering the workforce.
You`re gonna have to do this on your own.
And you will.
Somehow you`ll make your fortune.
And tucked away behind you, deep|in the shadows, will be me and the kids.
That`s how you see me.|Suddenly l`m a lousy husband and father.
Everything was fine|until Beethoven came into our lives.
l`ve tried to be patient, but l`ve had it.
The dog has to go.
l`m proud of Beethoven.
Those two idiots insulted your kids|and treated me like dirt.
He was the only one who had the nerve|to give them the ride they deserved.
l`m going to bed.
My dream`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dog.
Your family`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dream.
Why do we gotta be so quiet?
You`re a big boy!
-Sit down.|-We made you breakfast, Dad.
-Scrambled eggs the way you like them.|-l fed Beethoven.
We washed him, too.
You should smell him.
l`ll walk Beethoven every day.
We divided up the dog chores so you won`t|have to do anything for Beethoven.
l see.
ls there anything else you need?|Anything else at all?
No, thank you. l`m fine.
l dropped part of an eggshell in there.
Chew carefully, Dad.
Okay, fine. Great, Ryce.|l`m gonna get that thing.
-That leaf`s mine.|-l get the next one!
Okay, fine. Get that question box.
Give me five.
Shake.
Mrs. Newton.
-Yes.|-l`m Dr. Varnick, the veterinarian.
l`m sorry to trouble you,|but l wonder if l might come in?
Sure. Come in.
With animals as large as yours...
...l like to do a follow-up on rabies shots|just to see how he`s doing.
-lt`s nice of you to come down here.|-No trouble at all.
-Here you go.|-Thank you. l`ll only be a moment.
-Would you like a lemonade?|-No, thank you.
All right.
Beethoven, how are you doing?
Lookin` good. Lookin` good.
Beethoven, this is gonna hurt you|a lot more than it hurts me.
But it`s a great benefit to mankind.
Put some of this here.
-l`m gonna get those bones.|-No, l get some!
You get the next.
Okay, that`ll do ya.
All right now.
-No!|-Emily, what`s the matter?
Come on, you big stupid mutt!
Help! Help!
George! Oh, my God!
Help, somebody! Help!
Good boy. Good boy!
Beethoven! Beethoven!
-No!|-Get off him.
Beethoven!
Beethoven. Oh, my gosh, Beethoven!
Why`d he do that?
My gosh, look what he did!
-Are you all right?|-Well, l don`t know.
-What happened?|-He just lunged at me!
That`s not true. l saw you hit Beethoven.
-Emily, please.|-Why would l? l patted him on the head.
lt`s possible that from a distance the child--
Liar!
-Emily!|-l`m sorry. Everything`s all right.
lt`s very natural the child would want|to defend her dog.
-Let`s call an ambulance.|-No, l`ll take care of it.
l`ll take care of this myself.
l`m terribly sorry.|He`s never done anything like this before.
Once an animal crosses the line|and attacks a human being...
...you can rest assured he`ll do it again.
Of course, next time|it could be one of your children.
l`m very, very sorry. Let me help.
Mr. Newton, we have a real problem here.
The law is very clear|when it comes to dealing with this.
Unless you bring the animal|to my office immediately...
...l`m afraid l`ll be forced to press charges.
l`m so sorry.
l don`t want anything|to happen to Beethoven.
Dad won`t believe us|`cause he hates Beethoven.
He`s always hated Beethoven.
Dad has Beethoven!
Wait, wait! Stop!
Stop! Daddy!
Wait!
Wait!
My dad had to take our dog|to the vet to be put down.
l hated him for it.
Now l`m doing it myself.
l know you won`t believe me,|but l don`t wanna do this.
You understand.
lt`s not your fault.
-Mr. Newton.|-Dr. Varnick.
l know that you`re doing the right thing.
l hope so.
Follow me.
Come on. Come on.
How`s your arm?
lt`s fine.
-Thirty-seven stitches.|-l`m so sorry.
Do you want the collar and tags?
-Some people like to keep them.|-Yeah.
Do you mind? l have the bad wing.
Come here. Come here.
l`m sorry.
You were my dog, too.
Sad state of affairs.
Sad state of affairs.|Come on, boy. Come on.
Come on, boy.
ln you go. There you go.
All right. Magnificent.
George Newton.
We`re gonna have to charge you|for a day`s boarding...
...because Jimmy, who handles|the lethal injections and disposals...
...he doesn`t work today, so we`re gonna|have to hold the dog overnight.
Should we bill you?
Dog killer!
Nice dog, huh, Doc?|He`s perfect for the animal experiment.
Get everything ready.|l`ll be by in the morning.
We`ll do the test on him first thing.
All right.
Nice doggie, good doggie.
Okay, close the door.
l`ve got him. Come on!
Good doggie. Come here, doggie.
-Okay, l got him.|-Good, good.
-l got him. Come on, doggie.|-Not you! The dog!
Put him in. Okay, you got him?
ln the cage. Get in.
Shut up!
There.
Doc will work on him|first thing in the morning...
...and then he`s one dead puppy.
Can we eat?
-Yeah. You hungry?|-Yeah. l`m hungry.
-What do you feel like?|-A chef`s salad.
Did l do the wrong thing?
l don`t know, honey.
Beethoven made this house real.
He put the dents in it.
l know he slobbered and he smelled bad,|but he loved us.
Even you.
l just hope your motives were pure,|and you did this for the safety of the kids.
l really hate to think|we sold Beethoven down the river...
...for a piece of carpet|or a chance to sell more air freshener.
lt had nothing to do with carpet|or air freshener. You saw what he did.
l know. But we don`t know why he did it.
Maybe the vet didn`t hit him, but maybe|he handled him too rough or something.
Emily`s really sticking to this.
Have we ever known her to attack an adult|and accuse them of lying?
No, but why would a vet|say something like that?
lnstead of listening to some guy|we`ve met only twice...
...maybe we should try listening|to our own child.
Honey, something doesn`t make sense.|Can`t we just talk to him?
What do you want me to do?
Dr. Varnick, are you sure|you didn`t hit our dog?
Yes, Mr. Newton,|l just remembered l did hit your dog.
-Come on!|-lt`d make me feel better. Let`s go.
-l`m coming with you.|-So am l.
We`re all going with you.
l`m terribly sorry.
-We want our dog back!|-Where`s Beethoven?
-Kids, let Daddy handle this.|-What can l do for you?
-We want our dog back!|-l`m terribly sorry.
lt`s too late. The dog`s been destroyed.
-Dad?|-Now, wait a minute.
l was told this wouldn`t happen|until tomorrow.
l don`t believe you!
Take your hands off her! What are you--
l told you he was lying!
What the hell are you trying to pull?
You can`t come in here.|This is private property.
Beethoven?
-He`s not here.|-Hold it right there.
You have no right to be in here.|Out, all of you.
Where`s my dog?
l don`t have to answer your questions.
You ordered that dog destroyed,|and it was done. Now get out.
You hit me, l`ll have you put in jail|for assault and battery.
Dad!
-Honey!|-That was amazing.
Dad, you were awesome.
-You were really cool.|-l never found you more attractive.
l may need an X-ray.
-He said our dog bit him.|-But he didn`t really. Tell him.
There were no bite marks on his arm!
`"So what?`" What do you mean?
l`d like to file a report on you!
-They`re not going to help us?|-Not this year.
-Dad! Dr. Varnick.|-Look!
Let`s follow him.
Maybe he`ll lead us to Beethoven.
Hold your door. Hold your door.
Shut it.
Dad, haven`t you ever followed anyone?
Turn off your lights.
-l think that`s the last of it.|-Start getting the dogs.
The dogs?
Yeah! He said we gotta destroy|all the evidence.
l`m gonna check this out.
lt`s 9:30. lf l`m not back in 15 minutes...
...call the police.
Don`t come in after me.
Before you destroy the dogs, bring me|the St. Bernard for the ammo test.
Okay.
And bring me a little one|for this chemical test.
Sure. l know just the one.
Hurry up.
Latch.
Congratulations.|You`re gonna be a pioneer.
-Like Davy Crockett, right?|-Right.
Good doggie!
Oh, no! No, no!
l`m saving you. l`m saving you!
He pushed me on the ground,|and l couldn`t get up.
Emily, come on. Here, Ryce, take her.
Lock the doors. lf l`m not back in 15....
-l`ll be back.|-Lock the doors. Lock that one.
Nice doggie.
We`re gonna have a field test|with this new ammo.
So long.
You`re a very foolish man, Mr. Newton.
You should`ve left well enough alone.
-That was a gun!|-Daddy!
-Mom, get over here!|-There`s no time!
l don`t know where.|lt`s a big thing, a warehouse!
-Buckle up.|-You can`t drive. You don`t have a license!
-We`re going in!|-What are you doing?
l don`t know. lt`s a--
Ted! Ted!
-Cool.|-Dad!
Dad! Dad!
My babies! Are you all right?
-Beethoven!|-Beethoven!
-l love this dog. What a good doggie!|-George!
George! Oh, my God!
Be careful!
-ls everyone alive?|-Where were you?
l was shopping! l called the police.
-l jumped. l fell on the guys.|-You`re kidding?
-You let Ted drive!|-l didn`t let him! Don`t yell at me!
l`m not yelling.
l love you, too.
-You`re free!|-You can go home!
You`re free! You`re free!
Go, go!
Sic `em, boys!
Help! Get outta my way!
Oh, my God!
Out of my way!
Come on, Harvey. Over the fence.
You thought you could get me,|you feebleminded mongrels!
-Stupid, stupid doggies!|-Never! You`ll never get me!
-Never!|-Stupid, stupid doggies.
Stupid, stupid doggies!
Stupid, stupid--
You little mangy thing!
And you and you, you little one!
Never! Never!
You little mangy--
What?
The final chapter|of a horror story for animal lovers...
...concluded at County Courthouse today.|Ruth Walters has the details.
-Animal lovers everywhere appeared...|-lt`s us!
...when Dr. Varnick and two associates|were indicted on animal abuse.
These were scientific investigations!
And leading the cheers|were the ring`s unlikely captors...
...the Newton family of Valley Vista.
l had no choice but to do what l did.
Beethoven is notjust some dog|that wandered in off the street.
He`s a member of our family|and we love him very much.
Have you always been a dog lover?
Maybe not as much as now.
Thank you.
This is Ruth Walters reporting|from County Courthouse.
Okay, guys. Let`s go to bed.
-Do we have to?|-lt`s been a long day.
-You look beautiful.|-Daddy, you`re the best.
-Good night, Dad. l love you.|-Good night, sweetheart.
Say good night to Daddy.
-Can l stay up?|-You are up!
Go to sleep.
Hello? Yeah.
Hold on one second.
Ryce? Who`s calling?
Ryce!
-Don`t stay on too long.|-Okay.
Dad, who is it?
Somebody who saw you on TV.|Mark something.
Mark.
Hello?
Yeah.
No.
Really? Friday?
-Good night, honey.|-Good night.
Sleep tight.
Good night, Beethoven.
Good night, Sparky.
-Good night, Mitch.|-Good night, Murphy.
Good night, Sally.
Good night, Lacey.
Good night, Fred.
Good night, Eliot.
-Here we go.|-They`re drivin` me crazy!
-Don`t go too fast.|-Come on!
-What`s the matter?|-You threw the cage on my foot!
-l didn`t do that.|-Yes, you did.
l need puppies.
-Okay. All right. Come on.|-Puppies.
Hi there. lsn`t that the sweetest?
-He`s cool.|-l think he likes us.
What a cute guy.
lsn`t he cute?
Hi, puppy.
No, absolutely not.
How big`s he gonna be?
St. Bernards get to be about 150 pounds.
l got a junkyard.|l need a big, mean junkyard dog.
Let me see him.
Come here, puppy.
He looks good and mean.
l don`t know. He`s pretty sweet.
You can make any dog mean.
Damn little beast! God!
You got any pit bulls?
Come on. lt`s a pushover.
l cased the place.
What about the cops?|What about video surveillance?
You`re crazy if you`re gonna walk up|just like this.
What about the alarm?
All you gotta do is step over.
-l got you.|-Okay, okay.
There, you see?|ln and out, quiet as a mouse.
Let`s get some dogs.
Come on, puppy.|We`re just goin` for a little car ride.
Look at the wee, little ones.|Come here, little puppies.
Here we go.
Come on, puppy. Here puppy, nice puppy.
l`ve stepped in the beam.
Here, puppy, nice puppy.
See, didn`t l tell ya?
Doesn`t this beat|takin` strays off the street?
-You are a genius!|-Get off!
Sorry! l`m sorry.
l`m just a little bit excited.|That`s my very first felony.
l`ve committed a lot of misdemeanors,|but that was my first felony.
Why are they barking?
They`re dogs.
l know they`re dogs!|Go in the back and check.
Okay, doggies, what`s the racket back--
Okay, doggies, back in your house.
Back in your house.|Here, doggie, nice doggie.
No, doggie. Don`t jump.
Bad dog!
Good puppy!
Bad puppy, don`t jump!
Good puppy, don`t jump!
Come back! Stop the van!
Harv, what is it?|Why did you want me to stop?
Hurry, they`re gettin` away.
Hey, you, come back here!
Come here! l`ll give you a bone!
Come back here, you little runt!
Come here, you!
Ted, l`m sorry.
What`s wrong?|Did you have another nightmare?
Yeah.
Mom, it`s Saturday and it`s 7:02.|Do we really have to get up?
Yep, you heard your father.
l know, Daddy`s rules.
That`s it! l`m not gonna take it anymore.
Mom, l have a news flash for you.|lt`s Saturday!
-Yeah, l know, honey.|-This sucks!
Why do we have to get up|so early on Saturday?
Ask your father. Don`t say `"sucks.`"
The bathroom`s mine!
-Nanny, nanny!|-Shut up! Let me in.
Open up, you little wimp! Let me in!
-Mom! Let me in!|-You have no bladder control.
Wait till l get my hands on you. Let me in!
A puppy!
Hi!
Guys, do you have to--
l dreamt l had a puppy, and it came true!
Honey.
l take back everything l said|about you being cold and insensitive.
Dad, l take back|anything l ever said about you, too.
Dad, l have everything l ever wanted.
-l owe you big time.|-Why?
Daddy, can we call him Fred?
-Let me have him. lt`s my turn.|-No, it`s my turn!
-l saw him first!|-l`m gonna have him for five more minutes.
We can`t have a dog. We can`t have a dog!
You can`t show a child a puppy,|then take it away two minutes later.
l didn`t show a child a puppy.|lt`s obviously lost.
-Occupy the kids. l`ll run to the pound.|-No, no way!
-lt`ll be destroyed.|-lf we keep it, the house will be destroyed!
-lt`s a dog. Millions of people have dogs.|-Not people like me.
Dogs sniff. They lick, they chew.|They drool, they scratch--
-Alice, they have parasites.|-Oh, God, yeah.
The kids`ll lose interest.|l`ll have to care for it.
lt`ll grow to be enormous.|lt`ll take over the yard.
The lawn`ll look terrible.
When the dog finally settles down, it`ll die.
Everybody will be upset. We`ll have|to get another puppy. Start all over.
-Do you understand?|-No. Could you be more specific?
-Alice, l need a little support.|-Okay, l`m sorry. All right.
How shall we handle this?
Go tell the kids.
-Come on.|-Come over here.
He loves me the most.
-Hi, kids.|-Hi, Dad.
-Can he sleep in my room?|-No, he`s sleeping in my room.
-l`m the oldest. He`s sleeping in my room.|-He`s not sleeping in anyone`s room.
Listen to me a minute.
We are `"people`" people here.|We are `"goldfish`" people.
We`re `"ant farm`" people.
We`re not `"dog`" people.
Dad, why can`t you just give us a chance?
You`re always saying|we have to have responsibility.
That`s true.
lt`s my decision. l mean, l`ve decided.
l knew it!
Better think of something to name him.
When he destroys my house,|l wanna know what to call him!
-Thank you.|-This is temporary.
This is temporary until we find the owner.
Okay, the dog`s name will be....
-What is it?|-What`s his name gonna be?
You can`t change it. That`s the rules.
Okay. Emily?
Did you do your name in a crayon?
l don`t think words for parts|of the body make good names.
But he`s got one of those. l looked.
l`m sure he does, but l don`t think Daddy...
...wants to stand on the front porch|at night yelling that out.
But that`s what you call Uncle Richard.
Okay, the dog`s name will be....
You asked for my input.
-What?|-Nothing. Let`s just call the dog Rover.
-Mom, please, M.C. Hammer.|-Ultimate Warrior.
M.C. Hammer? No, no, Rover.
He doesn`t like any of those names.
-Right! Like you can read his mind!|-Ryce!
Emily, what does the dog|want his name to be?
This is ridiculous! lt`s a dog.|He doesn`t have preferences!
Call him Ding Dong.|He wouldn`t know the difference.
Yes, he would!
He`ll tell us what he wants to be called.
Beethoven.
Roll over. Come on, boy. Roll over.
You!
No, no, no!
lf this business is gonna grow,|we need more money.
They`re talking about $25,000.|l said, `"That`s no good.`"
They said, `"No?`" l said, `"No.`"
lf this is gonna take off,|l need some capital, not a Band-Aid.
They said, `"What kind of figures|are we talking about?`"
l said, `"$150,000 sounds|like a good neighborhood to me.`"
You really said that?
This is a business.|What am l gonna do with $25,000?
Advertising, signs, but l`m optimistic.
-Ted, get down here.|-Where`s my shoes?
-l don`t know, honey, just backtrack.|-Mom, please?
Look behind the bathroom door.
-Daddy?|-What?
He wants you to scratch his head.
You know, l don`t wanna scratch his head.
Back off, back off!
But he wants you to.
Sometimes we don`t get what we want.|That`s not how it works.
lf l don`t get this deal, l`ll kill myself!
Honey, don`t talk like that|in front of the kids.
lf l can just get them to smell the stuff.|Air fresheners are visceral products--
-l got a great idea.|-What?
Can l have karate lessons?
l didn`t get any bacon.|What do you want karate lessons for?
Brenda`s littler than me,|and she`s got a green belt.
Why don`t we skip the lessons|and get you the belt?
No! Come on!
He slimed me! He slobbed! Look at this!
Don`t worry about it.
l`ve got dog drool on my pants!
l can`t meet with Vanguard Capital|with dog drool on my pants!
-Just change your pants.|-l`m gonna change my pants.
l had a schedule and now it`s gone.|l`ll never have that again!
-Just change, George.|-l`m gonna change my pants.
Then l gotta change my jacket.
lf l change my jacket, l change my shirt.|lf l change my shirt, l change my tie.
l have to change my belt, shoes and socks.
Just change your pants, George.
l don`t need you to drool all over me,|for God sakes!
You`re so smart!|What am l telling you about?
Listen to me!
Bye, honey.
Sorry. Good luck.
A little Kleenex or something.
Hi, puppy.
Thirsty, huh?
Easy, buddy. Save some for the fishes.
Look at Tom. He`s wide open. Shoot it!
Put it up. Put it up!
-This guy`s all over me.|-Shoot it.
Yeah!
All right, that`s it. Hit the showers.
Give me 10. Let`s go, hustle.
Hi, Mark.
-You`re sweaty.|-You like it?
Air fresheners are the 12th fastest-growing|area in household hygiene.
Fascinating!
All of these use a two-dip process|that guarantees a longer smell life.
Smell this. That smell nice?
lf we get the right amount of capital,|we can take this place to the top.
l don`t just mean successful.|l mean dominant.
Here`s a favorite. Look at this.
-New leather.|-That`s cute.
-l could use that in my Beemer.|-l could use it in my Beemer!
A lot of people could use `em|in their Beemers.
l wouldn`t want to hang it|from my rearview mirror. Tacky!
No, there`s Velcro on the back.
People hide them.|A lot put it under their dashboard.
lngenious! Bravo, Newton. Kudos.
Thank you.
Let`s get Ted.
Hey, Teddy boy.|That`s a nice lunch you got there.
-A veritable nutrition lesson.|-Oh, yeah.
Don`t forget to wash it down|with a big glass of milk.
Oh, man!
See ya on the bus.
Hi! Miss Simpkins made me stay after.
Want a Twinkie?
Hold on a minute.
Good boy.
See over there?
That`s Donna Ditsworth.
She`s the most popular girl|in the whole school.
Her hair is perfect. Her teeth are perfect.
Even Mark thinks she`s perfect.
Beethoven!
Hey, check out Fido.
-What a cool-lookin` dog.|-l bet you wanna play fetch.
You gotta give me the stick|if you want me to throw it.
Where we going?
-Cool dog.|-Cool dog.
ls he yours?
-What`s his name?|-Beethoven.
-Wow. Hi, Beethoven.|-Hey, Beethoven.
Cool dog. Good boy.
Well, see you later, Ryce.
Yes! He knows my name!
He knows my name.
No question about it. You`ve built yourself|something impressive here.
Thank you very much.
-That mean you`re interested?|-Absolutely.
We`ve smelled a lot of stuff.
l speak for myself as well|as the `"Brie Meister`" when l say...
...yours smells the best.
That`s great. Thanks a lot.
We`re gonna crunch some numbers.
-Maybe we can get together later.|-That would be great.
-We`re looking forward to it.|-l`ll get it.
-Thank you.|-Ciao.
-Ciao, George.|-Ciao, bello.
-Ciao, bello.|-Ciao!
Ciao.
Ciao.
How ya doin`, Theodore?
-Nice backpack, Teddy!|-Can l see it?
Sorry!
Why do you guys always pick on me?
`Cause you`re a little four-eyed dork.
Give them back!
They`re mine. Give them back!
Where you going, Teddy?
Wait up, Theodore.|We wanna walk you home.
What are you, a chicken?
Come on. Scaredy-cat!
Scared? Come on, fight me.
-Now he can`t even see.|-Blind as a bat!
What`s going on here?
He looks mean!
Yeah.
-Give him the glasses.|-Sorry.
And don`t come back!
l know it doesn`t mean that he likes me.
But he`s gotta like me better|than before he said my name.
You think he could like me, Beethoven?
l know you like me.
Good night, sweetheart.
You, out!
Good night, Beethoven.
-Good night, honey.|-Good night, Dad.
Mark.
All right! You, in here!
You sleep in here. l sleep there. You--
See, that`s very nice.
That`s progress. l appreciate that.|Good night.
Good night.
Ever since you started looking|for investors you seem--
-You wanted us to expand.|-l want you to be happy.
You even said you`d come back to work.
l said l`d give you one wish|for your birthday.
l wish you`d come back to work.
There`s other things that are important.|l like being home when the kids get home.
l don`t want them|to come home to some stranger.
We`ll get a great baby-sitter,|somebody reliable that the kids`ll love.
...in the third occurrence this month.
We`ve seen a 500 percent increase|in the reported incidence of stolen pets.
Police believe an animal kidnapping ring|is at work.
That`s News Break. Back to The Wolfman.
-Did you hear something?|-No.
l heard something downstairs.
You were right. The TV was on.
l don`t know.|l hope l`m doing the right thing.
lt feels like a good idea to expand...
...but l don`t want to do it|at everybody`s expense.
We have to get somebody wonderful|to take care of the kids.
No question about that.
Sometimes it`s hard|to know what the right thing is.
No matter how many showers l take...
...l still smell Beethoven all over me.
Are you okay? You`re so quiet.
You`re not mad at me, are you?
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby, it`s not even Saturday night.
Alice, you drive me crazy.
Has Daddy`s little girl|been naughty tonight?
George?
Who you talking to?
How dare you! Are you crazy?
Did you think|you were gonna get away with it?
That`s how you do it!
l`ll put a stop to that.
You`ve ruined my life!
You`ve ruined my furniture!|You`ve ruined my clothes!
My family likes you|more than they like me.
Why? All you do is drool and shed and eat.
You`re never getting|out of there again. Never!
Do we understand each other?
Hey, little buddy. How ya doin`?
Thank you. Good work.
-Vernon!|-Come on, Harvey.
-Can l tell you something?|-What?
-l don`t like it when you tease the dogs.|-Are you some kind of animal lover?
We`ve developed|a new type of ammunition.
lt explodes on contact.
We`d like you to use|this revolver for the tests.
We want to know the extent|of the damage at close range.
You wanna know how messy it is.
l presume you can get dogs|with big skulls for the tests.
Newfoundlands, Great Danes, St. Bernards.
Large dogs are difficult to come by...
...harder to manage.
l`m sure we`ll be able to handle it.
-Mr. Newton?|-Yes.
l`m Dr. Varnick. This must be Beethoven.
He`s a magnificent animal. Magnificent!
Magnificent!
-ln for his shots?|-That`s right.
He`ll be a little groggy this evening.
That`ll be nice.
Perhaps you should leave him overnight|for observation.
-l`d be happy to.|-Dad!
lt`s just a shot. He`ll be okay.
Let`s take him home.|He`s scared and wants to go home.
l wonder if l might have a word|with you privately.
Sure.
Good dog.
Take good care of these nice people.
They aren`t gonna hurt Beethoven,|are they?
Nothing could hurt Beethoven.
Please, sit down.
Mr. Newton, have you....
Have you noticed anything strange|about your dog lately?
You know, l mean, he`s destroyed my life.
l wish l was kidding.
That`s very funny.|St. Bernards have been heavily over-bred.
There`s been quite a bit written|about certain behavioral problems.
What kind of problems?
l don`t know how to say this, but l`ve had|to put down several over the past months.
They have a tendency to turn on people...
...attack without provocation.
l only mention this|because you have children.
Good boy!
George, come on.|Beethoven isn`t even remotely dangerous.
He`d never hurt the kids.
He might take a bite out of you, though.
First snarl, first any kind of weirdness|and he`s gone.
Weirdness? What should l watch for,|his wearing my clothes around the house?
Good boy!
You guys are gonna love Devonia.
l don`t need a baby-sitter.
How come you gotta|go back to work, anyway?
There`s no point of us|going into this with a bad attitude.
Hi there, you little cutie!
Don`t you worry about a thing.|We`re gonna get along great. Right, kids?
l`ll be back before dinner,|so it`s not that long.
We`re gonna do neat stuff.
l was hopin` we could sing a tune together.|You like music?
What kind of music?
How about Herb Alpert|and the Tijuana Brass? Oh, sorry.
l am a nut for the disco beat!
Okay, kids, be good.
-You`ve had some time to think and--|-And we made our decision.
We wanna get in bed|with Newton Auto Air Fresheners.
Excellent! That`s just great!
-Thank you very much.|-As quickly as possible.
We can meet our lawyers today|and have the papers drawn up.
That`s excellent!
Let us take you out to dinner.
Are there any good restaurants|in this burg?
Restaurants. What?
-Why don`t you come to our house?|-We`ll barbecue.
Barbecue! Let`s live dangerously!
Well, our food may not be great,|but it`s not dangerous.
l hope it`s better than this espresso.
Help!
Help, somebody!
l love you, too.
Thanks, Beethoven. You saved my life.
But you better go home now.|Mom said to stay in the backyard.
You kids might be interested to know|that l am a performer...
...Saturday nights at the Padded Zebra.
Gosh! Emily`s in the pool!
The pool?
-Emily!|-What are you doing in the pool?
Get out this instant.|You want to get me into trouble?
-Emily, are you all right?|-l fell in.
Oh, Emily, you must`ve been so scared!
l thought l was gonna die.
You poor little thing.
Now, you were never|in any real danger, were you?
We don`t want you to get into trouble,|so we`ll let this be our little secret.
l`d like to call my mother, please.
-Your mother?|-lmmediately.
She must`ve snuck out|while l was watching Ted and Ryce.
lt was hot out, so l guess|she wanted to take a little swim.
Where were you|while this was happening?
Where l was supposed to be,|inside watching the other two.
lf Emily had stayed where l put her,|none of this would`ve happened.
lf you ask me, what these children need|is a little discipline.
What these children need is their mother.
You`re fired.
-Honey, it was an accident.|-So what?
lt is just that we had a bad baby-sitter.
We`ll find somebody responsible|to look after the kids.
-Over my dead body.|-Come on.
We`re fine on our own.|You don`t have to entertain us.
Do you have any kids?
We have a career.
Big one.
Excuse us.
-Brats.|-Monsters.
lf we pull this off...
...in six months we will own|Newton Auto Air Fresheners.
Touch it.
Sorry for the delay.
-We--|-No problem.
-Vegetables. Here you go.|-Look at that.
-Here`s the paperwork, Giorgio.|-l`ve got my own chair, honey.
-Look at that.|-You gonna do that now, honey?
Alicia.
-Alice.|-Alice.
l`m sorry. Alice.|Could l have a refill, please?
Sure.
Thank you.
Just right down at the bottom, George.
-This is everything we`ve discussed?|-Yes, exactly.
Right at the bottom, you can sign.
Don`t sign that now.|Let`s have something to eat?
-You can read it over--|-Alice, tell me about your dog.
Well, he`s a dog.
He sure is! Hello, cutesy-ootsy.
-He`s a St. Bernard.|-He`s a purebred St. Bernard, isn`t he?
Hello. Look at that big old tongue|you`ve got! Yes!
Look at that. Come here. Oh, yeah.
You wanna come with Mommy and Daddy?|Yes, you do.
Come on.|We`ll come to Mommy and Daddy.
Come on. Come on.
l just love these big, dumb animals.
l bet you do.
Dogs obey so much better|than children, don`t they?
Come here. Look, cutesy-ootsy-oogy.
Mama just loves|this great big doggie-woggie.
The places for you to sign...
...are marked by that blue clip right there.
This are all standard stuff?
You sure you wanna|`"signee-wignee`" right now?
Alice, l`m sorry.
l`ve got that. You be careful.|l don`t want you to break a nail.
Right down there where the blue arrow is.
Right there.
Honey, you sit. l`ve got this.
You guys don`t seem|to have made a good impression.
-l`m crushed.|-Me, too.
l`ll cry all night.
l don`t like `em either. But these people|are important to Dad`s business.
l hope Beethoven slimes that lady`s dress.
lf you don`t want our capital...
...we could find another investment|somewhere else.
-Sure!|-No, no, no.
-Beethoven, down, down.|-ls there some problem?
-No, no.|-Did l miss anything?
No. Giorgio has gone over all the papers...
...and he`s about to sign.
Just standard stuff, really.
Will you get outta here, you mutt!
l pitched in college.
Beethoven, stop!
Bad dog!
Sit! Stop! Stay!
Oh, no!
Beethoven!
l really don`t like our dog.
l really don`t like those people.
l don`t trust them.
l don`t want their money.
l know my opinion doesn`t matter,|but l`m not interested in expanding.
lf l had been home instead|of helping you impress those morons...
...Emily wouldn`t have fallen in the pool.
And l`m not re-entering the workforce.
You`re gonna have to do this on your own.
And you will.
Somehow you`ll make your fortune.
And tucked away behind you, deep|in the shadows, will be me and the kids.
That`s how you see me.|Suddenly l`m a lousy husband and father.
Everything was fine|until Beethoven came into our lives.
l`ve tried to be patient, but l`ve had it.
The dog has to go.
l`m proud of Beethoven.
Those two idiots insulted your kids|and treated me like dirt.
He was the only one who had the nerve|to give them the ride they deserved.
l`m going to bed.
My dream`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dog.
Your family`s going down the drain,|and you`re worried about a dream.
Why do we gotta be so quiet?
You`re a big boy!
-Sit down.|-We made you breakfast, Dad.
-Scrambled eggs the way you like them.|-l fed Beethoven.
We washed him, too.
You should smell him.
l`ll walk Beethoven every day.
We divided up the dog chores so you won`t|have to do anything for Beethoven.
l see.
ls there anything else you need?|Anything else at all?
No, thank you. l`m fine.
l dropped part of an eggshell in there.
Chew carefully, Dad.
Okay, fine. Great, Ryce.|l`m gonna get that thing.
-That leaf`s mine.|-l get the next one!
Okay, fine. Get that question box.
Give me five.
Shake.
Mrs. Newton.
-Yes.|-l`m Dr. Varnick, the veterinarian.
l`m sorry to trouble you,|but l wonder if l might come in?
Sure. Come in.
With animals as large as yours...
...l like to do a follow-up on rabies shots|just to see how he`s doing.
-lt`s nice of you to come down here.|-No trouble at all.
-Here you go.|-Thank you. l`ll only be a moment.
-Would you like a lemonade?|-No, thank you.
All right.
Beethoven, how are you doing?
Lookin` good. Lookin` good.
Beethoven, this is gonna hurt you|a lot more than it hurts me.
But it`s a great benefit to mankind.
Put some of this here.
-l`m gonna get those bones.|-No, l get some!
You get the next.
Okay, that`ll do ya.
All right now.
-No!|-Emily, what`s the matter?
Come on, you big stupid mutt!
Help! Help!
George! Oh, my God!
Help, somebody! Help!
Good boy. Good boy!
Beethoven! Beethoven!
-No!|-Get off him.
Beethoven!
Beethoven. Oh, my gosh, Beethoven!
Why`d he do that?
My gosh, look what he did!
-Are you all right?|-Well, l don`t know.
-What happened?|-He just lunged at me!
That`s not true. l saw you hit Beethoven.
-Emily, please.|-Why would l? l patted him on the head.
lt`s possible that from a distance the child--
Liar!
-Emily!|-l`m sorry. Everything`s all right.
lt`s very natural the child would want|to defend her dog.
-Let`s call an ambulance.|-No, l`ll take care of it.
l`ll take care of this myself.
l`m terribly sorry.|He`s never done anything like this before.
Once an animal crosses the line|and attacks a human being...
...you can rest assured he`ll do it again.
Of course, next time|it could be one of your children.
l`m very, very sorry. Let me help.
Mr. Newton, we have a real problem here.
The law is very clear|when it comes to dealing with this.
Unless you bring the animal|to my office immediately...
...l`m afraid l`ll be forced to press charges.
l`m so sorry.
l don`t want anything|to happen to Beethoven.
Dad won`t believe us|`cause he hates Beethoven.
He`s always hated Beethoven.
Dad has Beethoven!
Wait, wait! Stop!
Stop! Daddy!
Wait!
Wait!
My dad had to take our dog|to the vet to be put down.
l hated him for it.
Now l`m doing it myself.
l know you won`t believe me,|but l don`t wanna do this.
You understand.
lt`s not your fault.
-Mr. Newton.|-Dr. Varnick.
l know that you`re doing the right thing.
l hope so.
Follow me.
Come on. Come on.
How`s your arm?
lt`s fine.
-Thirty-seven stitches.|-l`m so sorry.
Do you want the collar and tags?
-Some people like to keep them.|-Yeah.
Do you mind? l have the bad wing.
Come here. Come here.
l`m sorry.
You were my dog, too.
Sad state of affairs.
Sad state of affairs.|Come on, boy. Come on.
Come on, boy.
ln you go. There you go.
All right. Magnificent.
George Newton.
We`re gonna have to charge you|for a day`s boarding...
...because Jimmy, who handles|the lethal injections and disposals...
...he doesn`t work today, so we`re gonna|have to hold the dog overnight.
Should we bill you?
Dog killer!
Nice dog, huh, Doc?|He`s perfect for the animal experiment.
Get everything ready.|l`ll be by in the morning.
We`ll do the test on him first thing.
All right.
Nice doggie, good doggie.
Okay, close the door.
l`ve got him. Come on!
Good doggie. Come here, doggie.
-Okay, l got him.|-Good, good.
-l got him. Come on, doggie.|-Not you! The dog!
Put him in. Okay, you got him?
ln the cage. Get in.
Shut up!
There.
Doc will work on him|first thing in the morning...
...and then he`s one dead puppy.
Can we eat?
-Yeah. You hungry?|-Yeah. l`m hungry.
-What do you feel like?|-A chef`s salad.
Did l do the wrong thing?
l don`t know, honey.
Beethoven made this house real.
He put the dents in it.
l know he slobbered and he smelled bad,|but he loved us.
Even you.
l just hope your motives were pure,|and you did this for the safety of the kids.
l really hate to think|we sold Beethoven down the river...
...for a piece of carpet|or a chance to sell more air freshener.
lt had nothing to do with carpet|or air freshener. You saw what he did.
l know. But we don`t know why he did it.
Maybe the vet didn`t hit him, but maybe|he handled him too rough or something.
Emily`s really sticking to this.
Have we ever known her to attack an adult|and accuse them of lying?
No, but why would a vet|say something like that?
lnstead of listening to some guy|we`ve met only twice...
...maybe we should try listening|to our own child.
Honey, something doesn`t make sense.|Can`t we just talk to him?
What do you want me to do?
Dr. Varnick, are you sure|you didn`t hit our dog?
Yes, Mr. Newton,|l just remembered l did hit your dog.
-Come on!|-lt`d make me feel better. Let`s go.
-l`m coming with you.|-So am l.
We`re all going with you.
l`m terribly sorry.
-We want our dog back!|-Where`s Beethoven?
-Kids, let Daddy handle this.|-What can l do for you?
-We want our dog back!|-l`m terribly sorry.
lt`s too late. The dog`s been destroyed.
-Dad?|-Now, wait a minute.
l was told this wouldn`t happen|until tomorrow.
l don`t believe you!
Take your hands off her! What are you--
l told you he was lying!
What the hell are you trying to pull?
You can`t come in here.|This is private property.
Beethoven?
-He`s not here.|-Hold it right there.
You have no right to be in here.|Out, all of you.
Where`s my dog?
l don`t have to answer your questions.
You ordered that dog destroyed,|and it was done. Now get out.
You hit me, l`ll have you put in jail|for assault and battery.
Dad!
-Honey!|-That was amazing.
Dad, you were awesome.
-You were really cool.|-l never found you more attractive.
l may need an X-ray.
-He said our dog bit him.|-But he didn`t really. Tell him.
There were no bite marks on his arm!
`"So what?`" What do you mean?
l`d like to file a report on you!
-They`re not going to help us?|-Not this year.
-Dad! Dr. Varnick.|-Look!
Let`s follow him.
Maybe he`ll lead us to Beethoven.
Hold your door. Hold your door.
Shut it.
Dad, haven`t you ever followed anyone?
Turn off your lights.
-l think that`s the last of it.|-Start getting the dogs.
The dogs?
Yeah! He said we gotta destroy|all the evidence.
l`m gonna check this out.
lt`s 9:30. lf l`m not back in 15 minutes...
...call the police.
Don`t come in after me.
Before you destroy the dogs, bring me|the St. Bernard for the ammo test.
Okay.
And bring me a little one|for this chemical test.
Sure. l know just the one.
Hurry up.
Latch.
Congratulations.|You`re gonna be a pioneer.
-Like Davy Crockett, right?|-Right.
Good doggie!
Oh, no! No, no!
l`m saving you. l`m saving you!
He pushed me on the ground,|and l couldn`t get up.
Emily, come on. Here, Ryce, take her.
Lock the doors. lf l`m not back in 15....
-l`ll be back.|-Lock the doors. Lock that one.
Nice doggie.
We`re gonna have a field test|with this new ammo.
So long.
You`re a very foolish man, Mr. Newton.
You should`ve left well enough alone.
-That was a gun!|-Daddy!
-Mom, get over here!|-There`s no time!
l don`t know where.|lt`s a big thing, a warehouse!
-Buckle up.|-You can`t drive. You don`t have a license!
-We`re going in!|-What are you doing?
l don`t know. lt`s a--
Ted! Ted!
-Cool.|-Dad!
Dad! Dad!
My babies! Are you all right?
-Beethoven!|-Beethoven!
-l love this dog. What a good doggie!|-George!
George! Oh, my God!
Be careful!
-ls everyone alive?|-Where were you?
l was shopping! l called the police.
-l jumped. l fell on the guys.|-You`re kidding?
-You let Ted drive!|-l didn`t let him! Don`t yell at me!
l`m not yelling.
l love you, too.
-You`re free!|-You can go home!
You`re free! You`re free!
Go, go!
Sic `em, boys!
Help! Get outta my way!
Oh, my God!
Out of my way!
Come on, Harvey. Over the fence.
You thought you could get me,|you feebleminded mongrels!
-Stupid, stupid doggies!|-Never! You`ll never get me!
-Never!|-Stupid, stupid doggies.
Stupid, stupid doggies!
Stupid, stupid--
You little mangy thing!
And you and you, you little one!
Never! Never!
You little mangy--
What?
The final chapter|of a horror story for animal lovers...
...concluded at County Courthouse today.|Ruth Walters has the details.
-Animal lovers everywhere appeared...|-lt`s us!
...when Dr. Varnick and two associates|were indicted on animal abuse.
These were scientific investigations!
And leading the cheers|were the ring`s unlikely captors...
...the Newton family of Valley Vista.
l had no choice but to do what l did.
Beethoven is notjust some dog|that wandered in off the street.
He`s a member of our family|and we love him very much.
Have you always been a dog lover?
Maybe not as much as now.
Thank you.
This is Ruth Walters reporting|from County Courthouse.
Okay, guys. Let`s go to bed.
-Do we have to?|-lt`s been a long day.
-You look beautiful.|-Daddy, you`re the best.
-Good night, Dad. l love you.|-Good night, sweetheart.
Say good night to Daddy.
-Can l stay up?|-You are up!
Go to sleep.
Hello? Yeah.
Hold on one second.
Ryce? Who`s calling?
Ryce!
-Don`t stay on too long.|-Okay.
Dad, who is it?
Somebody who saw you on TV.|Mark something.
Mark.
Hello?
Yeah.
No.
Really? Friday?
-Good night, honey.|-Good night.
Sleep tight.
Good night, Beethoven.
Good night, Sparky.
-Good night, Mitch.|-Good night, Murphy.
Good night, Sally.
Good night, Lacey.
Good night, Fred.
Good night, Eliot.