Being Mary Tyler Moore (2023) Movie Script
1
There can't be anybody
in the United States
that doesn't know, like
and admire Laura Petrie
of The Dick Van Dyke Show
otherwise known as the beautiful
and talented Mary Tyler Moore.
Welcome.
Mary Tyler Moore.
The world should know that your name
is really Mary Tyler Moore Tinker.
Yes, isn't that darling?
Should be Mary Tyler Tinker Moore.
- Yes.
- Was the wife you played there
kind of an idealization
of the American wife?
There is no such woman.
Most of them are wretched nags.
I don't think so.
Yes. I think we all have our moments.
Some of us have the...
the nagging personality
come to the fore
more often than others.
But Laura Petrie broke down and cried
and she used ploys to get her way
and she was nasty
and short-tempered.
And she was also sweet and soft,
and she was many things.
Oh, no, I think she was sort of a...
a strained idealization
of the American woman
as she thinks she is.
But they had
no connection with reality.
I mean, the woman that's talking
all the time in a restaurant
I claim that you can walk
into an average restaurant
and if you have
observed life enough...
American
female-male relationships...
you can look in the restaurant
and tell who's married
and who's single.
Where the woman
is just yakking like crazy.
And the man has a hurt,
bored expression.
- Yes.
- They're real married.
I know. I know.
And where she's listening
and he's just elecutioning
and she's just wide-eyed
and attentive...
they're engaged.
Oh gosh. I'll probably
get in trouble saying this
but I really do think more wives
should investigate
the possibilities of working
because I agree with Betty Friedan
in her point of view in her book,
The Feminine Mystique
that women are,
or should be, human beings first
women second,
wives and mothers third.
It should fall in that order.
And that if there's enough thought
and effort put into this attempt
that it will not hurt the family,
it will not hurt the work
that they can function
very nicely together. I'm proving it.
Just consider what visitors
from outer space might think
if they were confronted
with the last 20 years
of television and films
as the only evidence of what
American women were like.
It would be quite clear
that we slept in false eyelashes
and full makeup
and indeed spent all of our lives
with such ornamentation on us.
Some of us would be taken
to be a servant class of some sort.
Some of us would be taken
to be sex-crazed
others totally puritanical.
Most of us would be man junkies
very strange creatures
who were thought to need men
for our identities.
If we lived alone, we would
almost have to be widows
at least until recently
on television.
That's begun to change.
I could discover
the secret of immortality
and people would still say,
look at that single girl.
It stems from a love
of what you're doing.
It would be unnatural
not to have ambition, I would think.
Her seven Emmy awards
her three Golden Globe Awards
and her Academy Award nomination
are only the beginning of the story.
While I would never consciously
choose pain for myself
sometimes you have
to have a little pain
a little disappointment.
Oh, Rob!
Are you saying it's my fault?
Every woman in America
must have dreamed
about being just like her.
Please welcome Mary Tyler Moore.
Believe me, Millie.
- It wasn't quite like this.
- Oh well, I believe you
but how you gonna convince
40 million other people?
What should we know about you?
Well, most of the things
that you should know about me
I'm not gonna tell.
I don't take huge risks, though.
I'm not a foolish person.
You know what's got me really upset?
- I have no idea.
- I just sounded nuts.
Mary!
It's your first nomination.
How do you feel tonight?
Wonderful!
What she really needed to do
and ultimately gets
the last chance to do
is have a life of her own.
I don't think anyone
in the entertainment business
has gone through more changes
than you have in this...
Wait a minute, that can't be true.
In this past year, I guess
one would call it a midlife crisis.
I hate that term, crisis, though.
- Midlife change.
- A midlife change. Okay.
And the courage to... follow through
with what you perceive
as a necessary change.
It may be difficult
for people to understand
because they see somebody like me
who has been working for a long time
and has been relatively successful
and they think,
oh, that's independence.
It is not necessarily true.
I was born December 29th, 1936
in Brooklyn, New York.
As my father reminds me, though,
of impoverished nobility.
I was a feisty kid.
I was always in fights
with the neighborhood kids
possibly because it was
an ethnically-charged situation.
By that time, it had become
an Orthodox Jewish community.
And here I was
this English-Irish Catholic kid.
I knew at a very early age
what I wanted to do.
Some people refer to it
as indulging in my instincts
and my artistic bent.
I call it just showing off
which was what I did
from about three years of age on.
And my grandfather once said of me
this child will either
end up on stage or in jail.
What part did your father
play in your life?
Oh, a very important part.
He was a rather intimidating force.
I always wanted his respect.
I knew I could never reach him
on the intellectual level.
So in order to win him over,
I had to do it on some other plane.
And for me then, it was...
performing
which my father
was never very good at.
My mother was an alcoholic.
She was most at ease at a party
or having a party.
Everybody's good-time, best gal
not the most attuned to parenting
that I would have liked.
She would start drinking in the day
and she would not stop
until somebody found the bottle
and took it away.
I didn't know anything
about alcoholism at the time
and I thought that
she was getting drunk at me.
That if she really, really loved me,
she could stop.
My aunt and grandmother
who lived together
had taken me for weekends
from the time I was an infant
making it easier
for my mother and father
to have a good time on their own.
I thought, the best way to get
my parents' attention and approval
is by succeeding as a dancer.
I started studying
when I was eight years old
when we moved to California.
That was just after World War II.
And I had a very successful uncle
named Harold Hackett
who was with MCA.
He had been luring the family
to come to this land of sunshine
and promise for all called Hollywood.
And since my father
was working for ConEd
and didn't really have
what you'd call a career
and my Aunt Birdie
who was working for radio
she decided that she could take care
of herself out there.
And so the whole family moved.
And at that point the whole family
included my seven-year
younger brother John.
I started taking dance classes
right away
that my Aunt Birdie paid for
and drove me to
and for which my grandmother
made the costumes for the recitals.
It was pretty locked into my mind
and heart and soul
that that's what I was going to do.
When you went out
for your very first job
did you get it?
Yes. Yes.
The very first job was the day after
the high school graduation prom.
And what was the job?
And that was
the series of commercials
on the Ozzie and Harriet
television show
in which I played a pixie
representing the Hotpoint appliances.
I was Happy Hotpoint, oh.
Happy Hotpoint at your service.
I really liked doing that.
But I had also married
very soon after
that first commercial was filmed.
And despite my best intentions
I found myself pregnant
two months later.
And that was a difficult moment
to live through
for the Hotpoint people too
because there I was
with these emerging breasts
in my little gray leotard
not looking very much like
the logo they had in mind.
So that had to be truncated.
And I went on to become
Richard's mother.
I think there's a terrible
contempt for women
still in our society
implicit in this glorified image
of women only as a sex object.
Implicit in this glorified insistence
that women's fulfillment
is motherhood and only motherhood.
Cows can have babies
but women have minds
as well as breasts
as well as sexual organs.
And women are made to feel guilty
if they really use their minds.
We don't know. We don't know.
You know, we really don't know
what women can do
what women can be.
My mother became pregnant at age 40.
So my mother's child,
my sister Elizabeth
was three months older
than her nephew Richard.
And they grew up in the same playpen
because as I began to work more often
my mother,
who was now a sober person
that I could count on,
watched those two.
I married very early.
I married right after high school.
And... I think that choice...
had to do with the pressure
that was put on young women
during the '50s...
which said
that the ultimate goal in life
is marriage, children,
and career, if you can work it in.
- Hello.
- Who's this?
This is Richard Diamond
of the disintegrating Diamonds.
Well, at least you're awake.
Don't take any money on it. Samuel.
You wanted me
to make sure you were up.
She's due at your home
in about five minutes.
- Who's due?
- Dorian Crane.
She lives on the right side
of the tracks in Beverly Hills.
What side is that?
Because I did a really strange part.
- Did you?
- Yeah.
- Because...
- Not in a porno!
No... no.
On a series called
the Richard Diamond Show.
- Yeah.
- Which starred David Janssen.
I played his telephone operator.
But you never saw my face.
- Never?
- Never. You just heard my voice
which was quite a few octaves lower
than the voice
you're used to hearing.
- Really?
- Yes. Sexy Sam.
That's funny.
- They never saw your face?
- Never saw my face.
The most frustrating thing...
- That's not fair!
- ...that I ever experienced.
Yes, it was because this
would've been such a letdown.
That's not a sexy face.
Yes, oh tell them.
She became
every male viewer's fantasy.
And there was big hype about her
because the producers decided
to create some interest
by not revealing who she was.
Now I was making
for each episode $85
and I decided that
because of all the attention
that the character was getting
that I should
go in and ask for more. And I did.
I went into
the producer's office and I said
I really, really think that I should
get a little more money
for this role that I'm playing.
And without letting me
finish the sentence
he said, "You know, my dear,
anybody with a good pair of legs
and a sultry voice can play this
part.
So goodbye and good luck to you."
Ten cents a dance
That's what they pay me
Gosh, how they weigh me down
Ten cents a dance
Softies and rough guys
Tough guys who tear my gown
Did you ever start out
like everybody else
having frustrations and periods
when you couldn't get
- when you couldn't get arrested?
- Many, many.
And when I could get arrested,
it was on a television show
that was probably
really very badly done.
Carrying microfilm
of government property is illegal.
You're under arrest,
suspicion of espionage.
Vern, you can take her in now.
I did a lot of those boring shows.
I never heard
of any job you didn't get.
Well, there was one part I didn't get
and I'm really very glad I didn't.
It was to play the part
of Danny Thomas's daughter.
Now, ladies and gentlemen
a formal introduction please
for our guest star
Mary Tyler Moore.
A few years ago,
we auditioned a lot of young girls
to play the part
of my older daughter Terry
in the family series.
And Mary was
one of the two finalists.
But it was left to me
to have to tell her
that she wasn't right for the part.
And... I'd like you to see
why she wasn't right for the part.
Come here.
Now tell the truth.
Would anybody believe that that nose
could be the father of that nose?
The day that I read
for the part of Laura Petrie
on The Dick Van Dyke Show
had followed a week of rejections
and I was having coffee with a friend
and my agent tracked me down
and said, you've gotta
get over and see Carl Reiner.
He wants to read with you for
the part of Dick Van Dyke's wife.
And I said, no, I'm not going.
I'm sorry.
I can't take any more rejections.
You know
I'm not gonna get that part.
I was terrified because
it was my hero, Carl Reiner
who was the writer-producer
of this show.
The Dick Van Dyke Show
was originally a show
for my father to star in.
My father had been on television
for many years with Sid Caesar
and the Show of Shows
and Caesar's Hour.
And then when the show was over
he started writing
a series for himself
and he played the character
that Dick Van Dyke plays
ultimately.
It was called Head of the Family.
They made the pilot
and it didn't sell.
And he had a meeting
with Sheldon Leonard
with Danny Thomas and they said
the show is great,
but we gotta find a new you.
So they recommended Dick Van Dyke
and I'm glad Dick wound up doing it
because it's what we say...
we take the comedy of the Jew
and we push it through the goy.
I never knew that there had been
a... a prior pilot.
And I went over there,
and thank God I did.
You remember me
grabbing your head?
I think you got scared.
You thought I was gonna...
because producers in those days
and maybe still, have a reputation
of wanting something more than...
Yeah, something more than the talent.
And I heard her,
there was a ping in a voice.
You only read...
I read about 60 girls
and I read the full script with 'em
hoping to find something.
She read three lines.
I don't like you...
at all.
Three simple lines.
There was such a ping
and an excitement
and a reality to her.
What attracted you to Laura Petrie?
The chance to work
with Dick Van Dyke and Carl Reiner.
I mean...
what more do you need?
Carl, it was such a platonic love.
He was my father, my brother.
He was my teacher,
my member of the audience
for whom I wanted
to do the scene well.
When I heard him laugh,
that's all I needed.
How often does my boss
ask us over to his house?
How often is one called upon
to be a responsible parent?
They just immediately gelled.
The president
of the network will be there.
It was seamless.
Well then, I think you should go.
Oh, I mean it, honey. There's
no sense both our staying home.
After all, you have
a responsibility to your work
and I fully understand that.
But we just liked each other
right from the beginning.
- You do?
- Sure I do.
You don't mind if I go alone?
Not at all, darling.
There was right away
a sense of being very comfortable
in humor that we shared.
Well...
It's just that I couldn't go
to a party
knowing my son
was on the verge of being sick.
I couldn't enjoy myself.
Such chemistry. Such charisma.
I watch the reruns
of The Dick Van Dyke Show
and I remember every one of...
and I break up, you know?
I do, I watch them
every once in a while
just before we do our show.
I have a little television set
in the trailer and I catch it
but it's a little like the portrait
of Dorian Gray in reverse.
- Oh no.
- I hate it.
- Oh no.
- I was such a baby there.
No, we're getting,
oh, we're getting better!
- That's true.
- We look much better
- don't you think?
- We're not getting older.
- We're getting better.
- Right, better and prettier!
Go eat your hearts out,
you 22-year-olds!
Going in, I knew I was in with
a bunch of black belts in comedy
and I'd had no real experience at it.
I didn't know what I was doing.
There was no hint at all
that Mary could do comedy.
I said, she may be
the next Katharine Hepburn
but I don't know about comedy.
Early on, Carl saw
some spark of humor in me.
He wrote a script called
My Blonde-Haired Brunette.
That was my initiation.
Oh, Millie, I'm getting old.
Oh, come on, Laura. One gray hair
isn't gonna make you old.
Yeah, well it's not just a gray hair.
It's Rob's whole attitude toward me.
We each know exactly what the other
is gonna think and do.
There just
aren't any more surprises left.
Well, you have to make them.
Well, how do you do that?
Well, whenever Jerry
starts taking me for granted
and I have a simple remedy.
- What?
- I just bleach my hair.
Millie. Do you think
that if I bleach my hair that...
No, I couldn't.
Why not?
Well, I don't think Rob
would approve of me as a blonde.
How does he feel about
Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot?
Millie, I'll do it.
Why?
I had always been a big fan
of Nanette Fabray
who worked with Carl Reiner
and Sid Caesar
on The Show of Shows.
Twelve long glorious years
of marriage
Twelve years out the window.
And I loved her humor.
I loved the way she cried.
Who do you think you are, anyway?
And so when I was called upon
to bring forth the tears in my scene
I'm not sure how much of it was
out-and-out stolen from Miss Fabray.
We're dying it back
to its natural color.
Laura's been a blonde all afternoon.
And he wants to know why.
What happened?
And then I try to tell him.
Why?
Well, yesterday morning,
and I kissed you
and you said, "Don't do that"
and you came down to breakfast
in your yucky shirt and...
And that proved
that I could handle comedy.
And the gray hair.
It was just fascinating
to watch Mary Tyler Moore
just grasp it so quickly.
A housewife on a situation comedy
had never been given the opportunity
to do this kind of stuff.
And it was at that point that Carl
started writing show after show
and scene after scene
for me to be funny.
Mary and her being beautiful
and being funny
that combination was looked at
as being unfeminine.
I mean, Lucy was a rarity
but even Lucy had to resort
to much more
physical kind of stuff.
It wasn't thought of
as a feminine thing to do.
I was the voice of the audience.
I was the single voice of sanity
in amongst all these lunatics.
Ellen's got a disease.
Well, Ellen's got a temperature.
I wouldn't call it a disease.
Well, whatever she got,
I hope I get it too.
Mary was a combination to me
of a mother figure and a sister.
She would always take time
if she saw me struggling.
It was important to Mary
to have that connection
since I was playing her son
to me to be that child of hers.
And I think it did help her
through things.
She had Richie, her son
but she and her husband
had separated
so she had to make a living
and she did.
- Sally, you know the bit.
- I'll do it.
I need the chair and the hat.
Oh, your husband's awfully cute.
He must be a lot of fun to live with.
I laugh all day long.
Laura actually
had opinions of her own
and while she was asserting herself
she also didn't make Dick Van Dyke
look like a dummy.
Society's expectations
at that point still said
"Hey, wait a minute, lady,
you only go so far here."
I think we broke new ground
and that was helped by my insistence
on wearing pants.
I said, I've seen
all the other actresses
and they're always running the vacuum
in these little flowered frocks
with high heels on
and I don't do that
and I don't know any of my friends
who do that
so why don't we try
to make this real?
She brought her own style
into sitcoms.
She wore pants
which was the first time
on television a woman wore pants.
She brought that into the world.
The network was horrified
but Carl said
"No, this is what sells."
The network asked that
when she does wear these pants
make sure they don't cup under
so that you didn't see ass.
She wasn't someone at home
waiting for him
to solve all the problems
making dinner in high heels.
She was a contemporary woman.
Mary was very private
and very guarded
but she gave something out
and whether it
was not how she felt inside
but the way she
projected herself on screen
you just fell in love.
Women liked me.
They were not envious of the fact
that their husbands
had a crush on me.
It was okay with them.
When I would meet people
they'd say, my husband
loves you so much
and he thinks you're so sexy.
And this was an odd thing
because they were also able
to identify with me as a friend.
There was no resentment. No fear.
Mary, Mary Tyler Moore
I would run a mile or more
Just to get a smile or more from you
Mary, Mary Tyler Moore
You're the image
Of the lady next door
Polishing the furniture
Fussing in the cupboard
Looking so adorable
In your Mother Hubbard
Cooking in the oven
Chicken in the pot
- Mr. Kaye?
- Yes, ma'am?
Thanks a lot.
The winner in Hollywood
is Mary Tyler Moore.
Oh, thank you so very, very much.
I can't tell you how happy I am
and I wanna thank Dick
and Rosie and Maury
and Larry and Jerry
and Carl and Sheldon
for making me look good.
Thank you.
(Oh, that's great.)
Was that you sort of up there?
The sweet, giving
kindly-disposition woman
or are you really a wild mad swinger?
I think I fall somewhere in between.
I'm not sure just where.
But the disposition was a result
of the writing of Carl Reiner
and the attitude
was very often my own.
I always tried to make the character
as close to me
and my own reactions as possible.
Simply because it's easier
to sustain a character
week after week after week
if you do it that way.
Lucille Ball was our landlady.
She owned Desilu.
And we'd be rehearsing on the set
and then we'd hear a laugh
that wasn't coming from the floor.
We looked up and there she was
on the catwalk
and she'd be up there
watching us, just observing us.
And I will never forget
one day she came up to me
and she said, you're very good.
That was the greatest gift
I ever received.
Hi, this is Lucy.
For my money, one of
the brightest young talents
to have appeared
on the television horizons
in the last few years
is a vivacious
Emmy-award-winning brunette
from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Mary Tyler Moore.
- Hi, Mary.
- How are you, Lucy?
I'm very, very happy to see you today
and I mean sincerely what I said
about your being one of
the brightest young talents
I have ever seen in the industry.
I guess you're kind of aware
of my admiration for you
because through the years, I've sort
of sent wavelengths your way.
You are awfully kind.
I have been made aware of it
and I'm thrilled.
Believe me, I am.
Now then, about your husband.
You have
a very handsome husband, Mary.
- Oh, thank you.
- He is as handsome
as you are beautiful.
And you are beautiful,
inside and out.
- Thank you.
- How long have you been married?
Two years. A little over two years.
He's a wonderful person.
I had just separated
and was about to be divorced
from my first husband.
Grant was with the advertising agency
that then handled Procter and Gamble.
So he was a sometime visitor
to the set
although his office
was really in New York
and we were working in Los Angeles.
I came out here
to see them shoot the pilot
and met Mary on the set.
She was dynamite
and what was great about her
was that she wasn't actressy
she was a real person.
And I just fell in love with her.
There was definitely an attraction.
He asked me to have dinner.
It was in fact the same day
that it was announced
in the trade papers
that I had separated from my husband
and I said,
"Well, I don't think I should.
I think some time should elapse
before I begin to see people."
About a month later I was told
that I was expected to go
to New York on a publicity tour
and I found out that it was
maneuvered by Grant Tinker.
He is the one who said
"She needs to come to New York
to do some publicity"
which is where he was.
And it was love at first meeting.
And out of that meeting
came a relationship that grew
and by this time I was divorced
and ultimately
we were married.
It felt very, very special.
Not only were we alike
in many ways
and... attracted to each other
but there was this recognition
of drive that each had.
But how can a woman be wed
to two forces in life?
In other words...
you're only half-married
if you're in show business
because that demands
so much of your ego
so much of your investment,
of your energy.
I don't think so. I think I could
waste an awful lot more energy
sitting at home having nothing to do
other than just talk with the girls
about what gossip they've heard
or... just chase after the kids
instead of spending time with my son
because I know
we don't have as much time
as most parents and children have.
I make good use of that time.
I don't waste it.
Don't you think working mothers
whatever their jobs
sort of shortchange
their children emotionally
or even just physically?
They're not there enough of the time.
They're not together.
They're not relating.
Sometimes it happens,
but I don't let it happen that way.
I refuse to travel without...
I refuse to be separated
from my husband.
And I'm very blessed.
I'm very lucky in that I have been
able to work out a career
and still hold to this.
I knew that my
stepmother was famous.
I had little interest in that
but I really wanted to get
to know Mary
and I thought that she was
a very natural parent with me
and my siblings
and a little less so with Richie.
Is this too much?
I think there may have been
some tension
and some guilt on Mary's part.
She tried, but the vicissitudes
of that business
just require long hours
and long absences.
Rich had so little interest
about the business
and watching his mom
practice her craft
that there was a lot less time
spent together.
I know he liked spending
a lot of time with his dad.
They went fishing and hunting
and that was far more Richie's speed
than being in a studio.
When he came on set
I think he was so excited
to be around Mom.
I always loved when Richie was there.
Richie was able to bring out
the bad boy in me
running around the rafters,
running behind the scenes
sneaking a cigarette.
We were pretty devious
about what we were doing at the time
just being kids.
I'm deep just like a chasm
I've no enthusiasm
I'm bored when I'm adored
I'm blas!
That era was an unenlightened time
in which most women felt
that the only thing
they could do with their lives
was to serve their husbands
and children.
I still believe
in marriage and children
but also looking at yourself
and saying
hey, if I have something else
to contribute
I can figure out a way to do that
and I can figure out a way to get
my husband to help me do it
and my children to help me do it too.
Laura Petrie led a very dull life,
didn't she?
I think, looking back.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
I mean, she didn't really light up
until Rob walked in the door
and tripped over the ottoman.
- So she depended upon a man.
- Right.
And in parallel situation
in your life
you depended upon a man?
Yeah, except that I always
had the work too.
We're now off the air.
To all intents and purposes
we stopped shooting our show.
That little group of people
down there at our table
know how gratified I am to them.
You know, the first day
Carl said, "Five years is it.
If we go five years, that's all
because you get repetitive.
You get stale."
None of us really wanted to quit.
I've often been blamed
for taking the show off the air.
I had nothing to do with it.
In Hollywood,
the winner is Mary Tyler Moore.
Oh gosh.
Of course, I wanna thank the Academy
for giving me this great honor.
But I wanna also wanna take
this opportunity publicly
to thank everybody connected
with The Dick Van Dyke Show
for five of the happiest years
of my life.
There's never gonna be another
occasion like that again.
And this is gonna serve always
to be the most wonderful reminder
of that experience.
Thank you.
They turned down
incredible offers from the network
to continue the show.
Dick had done Mary Poppins
and was anxious to go on
and try other movies.
Carl was writing a Broadway play.
It was devastating to me
because it was the end of a family.
Van Dyke went off the air
and she of course thought
her life was over
because, you know,
what was she gonna do?
You said that you would have
no regrets
in leaving Dick Van Dyke Show
because you were sort of tired
of playing this goody-goody.
That you were always ordering
milkshakes in public
and now you could have
straight scotch.
Oh goodness. Now you see
now it probably took me
two and a half hours to say that
and they capsulized it down
to a point where I sounded
really terribly shocking and dismal
and kind of bitter about life.
I assure you I'm not.
And I assure you that I miss
every one of the people
on The Van Dyke Show. Desperately.
They became my good friends.
My only friends.
When she left the Van Dyke show
Universal Pictures gave her
a five-picture deal
and the unprecedented condition
that she had the right to refuse
what pictures she didn't want to do.
So that was a very powerful position
that she could never be in anything
she didn't feel was right for her.
Her first picture
was Thoroughly Modern Millie
where she played
a co-star with Julie Andrews.
So that was her entry into movies.
She wasn't a star
but she had a great part.
Well, I'm looking for life,
raw and real.
I'm going to be an actress
on the stage.
An actress? How exciting.
Yes, but I've got
to live a lot first.
You should do very well on the stage.
Pictures, too. You're very pretty.
After that film
she got an offer
to play Holly Golightly
in a musical version
of Breakfast at Tiffany's.
And it was everything
she ever dreamed of.
Mary always wanted
to be on Broadway
but Universal would not let her
out of her contract to do it.
And she said, "What if I give up
the right to approve
of the pictures I do
and you can put me in anything?"
And that was very attractive to them.
So they let her do the show.
I was the playwright's son.
I said,
"Can I work on the show?"
And he said, "Sure."
So I became the assistant
to the assistant stage manager.
It was not my dad's best work
but he had Mary Tyler Moore,
Richard Chamberlain
two of the biggest stars
in television
who would sell tickets.
We opened in Philadelphia
Infinitely sweeter.
A girl should have
In this world of men
A breakfast at Tiffany's now and then
To make her feel
There are solid things...
She was wonderful.
She had been a dancer before
so she had stage presence
and then the producer, David Merrick
decided that he was gonna
fire my father
and replace him with Edward Albee.
And I said to my dad,
"Can I book passage on the Titanic?"
We opened for previews on Broadway
and it was an utter disaster.
In the audience
you heard somebody say
"Why don't you write a better show?"
So Mary would come off in the wings
and she was weeping.
She was sad for a long time.
It was a bad experience.
It was a disaster. Just awful.
Everything fell apart.
Mr. Merrick, what went wrong?
Just not a very good show.
That sometimes happens on Broadway.
Truman Capote, who wrote
the original book of which
the musical was adapted
said he didn't like the score
and he didn't like the leading lady.
Well, I disagree with him on that.
I think the score was good
and I like the leading lady
very much
and I'm going with Mary Tyler Moore
and I'm going to try to find
another play for her.
Mary was the reason
that all of the New York press...
"Well, shows you
you can't take a television star..."
and she was brutalized.
That was a very difficult part
of my life then.
And on top of it
Universal could put her
in whatever pictures
they wanted her to be in.
So she played a couple
of meaningless roles.
It stars Mary Tyler Moore.
Well, don't just stand there.
Zip me up
while I put on my stockings.
That's the way you kiss your sister?
You gotta be kidding.
I'm a member of the Order
of Little Sisters of Mary.
She had gone from being
the most popular woman
in America to being a has-been
in three and a half, four years.
We came back to Los Angeles
with three tails between our legs
but it was about at that time
that I had a miscarriage.
And when I was in the hospital
for the routine procedures
that follow
they discovered that
while normal blood sugar levels
are to be somewhere
between 70 and 110
mine was 750.
And they were amazed
that I was still walking around.
And to this day, they don't know
which came first
the miscarriage or the diabetes.
I don't know
how I got through that year.
It shook me to my core.
Tonight, Dick Van Dyke
and the Other Woman...
Mary Tyler Moore.
We were doing these specials
for Dick Van Dyke, one a year
and I said to Dick
it's now four years since you
and Mary have been together.
I think it would be a great idea
to have a reunion show.
And also I think Mary could use it.
So we did a show
and in it we really featured Mary.
Normally that phrase...
the other woman
implies a relationship
between two people
which might be considered unsavory.
Yeah.
But of course, the relationship
between Mary and myself
is, of course, completely savory.
Completely.
Actually, when we were
doing the series
people thought we were married.
Oh boy. So much so
that I often had trouble
checking into a hotel
with my real wife, Margie.
And I had trouble
checking into a hotel
with my real husband, Grant.
And Margie and Grant
had trouble checking in anywhere.
If they could see me now
Those noble...
It gave me a wonderful opportunity
to sing and dance and clown
We've got
The situation firmly in hand
But we possess control
The wealth of the land
The show went on the air,
got huge ratings
great reviews,
very happy that we did it.
They suddenly rediscovered
Mary Tyler Moore.
CBS noted how successful it was
and they asked me
if I wanted to do my own show.
To which I said yes.
She called me
and she was screaming
into the phone and I said
stop screaming. What?
And of course she got her break.
It's like God took over.
For Mary to step off of that show
and into The Mary Tyler Moore Show
was really something.
She was scared,
but to be on a series of her own?
There wasn't any discussion.
She was just perfect for it.
My husband thought
that it would be wise
to form a company
that he could manage
and that I could use
as the foundation for a commitment.
It was 22 episodes.
It was Grant Tinker who hired
Jim Brooks along with Allan Burns
to produce
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Every male comedy writer of that time
had had a crush on Mary Tyler Moore.
She was our dream girl.
She represented
everything you wanted.
Her intelligence...
she gets it so quickly.
Hardly anybody
knows comedy like she does.
They and I had a meeting
and you know, I said
I think from my experience
on The Dick Van Dyke Show
that it's smart for me
to play somebody who's close
to my own persona.
And they agreed with that
and they said
well, we're thinking maybe
she works
in a small television station
and that she's looking to be married
but she's not desperate about it.
And I said, that sounds good too.
I like that
'cause that's kind of progressive.
We were two guys at an office
for a company
that hadn't happened yet
kicking around ideas
that I don't think there'd been
a divorced woman yet on television.
We went to CBS to pitch with Grant
maybe 20 executives,
the big boss there.
And we told him this idea
and they were polite
and they asked us
to step outta the room.
We found out later,
they told Grant to fire us.
They had three rules that couldn't
happen on a CBS show at the time...
Jews, somebody with a mustache
or a divorced woman.
They had to come
head-to-head with CBS
over the premise
that you will be divorced
and that you would be
moving to Minneapolis
for the first time
to start life afresh.
It was real, but it was not funny.
You couldn't make fun of divorce.
And not only that,
they said they think
you were divorced from Dick Van Dyke.
Just a career woman
was unusual then.
She was America's Sweetheart
so I think what we ended up doing
as the show allowed her
basically to be a contemporary
woman at a time
when contemporary women
were speaking out
being noticed
as they never were before.
This inhuman system
of exploitation will change
but only if we force it to change.
So the phone rings
and it's Jim and he said
what are you doing right now?
I said, I'm just about
to wash my hair.
And he said, no... no,
I mean in your life.
He said, because Mary Tyler Moore's
show got picked up
and you're the first writer
that I'm calling.
We would like you to write
as many as you want.
At that point, I was the only woman
writing alone in comedy writing.
We were writing what we believed in.
Jim and Allan believed in it enough
that they pushed things through.
This is somebody
who immediately was a soldier.
She was a star of a show.
It was her company, and yet
she was in the trenches with you.
So here I am in Minneapolis,
new life, new job.
Well, not a new job yet.
First, I had to go on an interview
at a local TV station.
I went to the first taping.
I thought it was very smart.
As they would say, it had legs.
The head of the news department
seemed interested in my experience.
How old are you?
Thirty.
No hedging?
No, "How old do I look?"
Why hedge?
- How old do I look?
- Thirty.
When we did the first attempted show
we made it under awful conditions.
An awful studio.
Not too many audience laughs.
Look, miss, just so you're not
the first person I get overtime...
The testing was not good.
The network hated it
but they had committed
to a season of shows.
They would've had to pay them.
...that don't have a thing to do
with my qualifications for this job.
And Mary was in tears.
Grant's statement
to the guys was fix it.
And the guys looked at each other
and said, what's wrong with it?
I'm in a fog, I'm destroyed.
I'm sitting at a desk just numb.
They trusted us and we bombed.
And then Marge Mullen
who was our script supervisor,
saved us.
Marge said, what if the kid, Beth
who was in the pilot,
said how much she liked Rhoda.
That and cutting the script
turned the bomb
into the pilot
that people talk about.
I was eight
when the first episode
came on and I hadn't
seen one where a woman
especially a single woman
without a man to depend on
was making her own way in life.
It seared into my brain.
Look, miss, would you try answering
the questions as I ask them?
Yes, Mr. Grant. I will.
But it does seem
that you've been asking
a lot of very personal questions
that don't have a thing to do
with my qualifications for this job.
There is no other show
like The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Her morphing
from Laura Petrie
into Mary Richards was
such a feminist statement
and one
that got into my bones.
Watching this incredible woman
who was strong and funny
and independent
then gets her own apartment
with the wooden M on the wall.
- So you are... Rhoda?
- Morganstern.
And I'm Mary Richards.
Hello. Get outta my apartment.
She had funny neighbors
like Rhoda and Phyllis.
Mary...
it's your duty as a woman
to take whatever you can get
whether you want it or not.
And a great group of people
with whom she worked.
I'd tell you to stop reading
over my shoulder
but you need
all the practice you can get.
- Hi.
- You're late, Mar.
It opened my eyes to wow,
I wanna do that too.
A beautiful romance
just blew up in her face.
It did not blow up.
I made the decision.
It wasn't just Mary Richards
who was this extraordinarily
single ambitious career woman.
She was surrounded by very strong
comedic female characters.
You're talking
about Midwestern love.
I'm talking about Bronx love.
There's a certain amount of guilt
that goes with that.
Part of being a successful artist
is being open to new ideas and input.
She was a big, big supporter
of what the pilot said about her.
She was on...
the side of risk-taking.
- Divorced?
- No.
- Never married?
- No.
Why?
Why?
Your type?
Mr. Grant,
there's no simple answer
to that question.
There had been some shows
about single women before
but as in the case
of the Marlo Thomas show
boy it was about getting married
and Jim and Allan
didn't wanna do that.
They wanted to show a woman
enjoying her life and her career
and meeting the challenges.
They each had a great backbone.
The character and Mary
had a great backbone that was real.
You know, that kind of substance
intrinsic dignity of being and
of other people's dignity of being.
So in a way you're describing class.
Mary... did,
did you just say goodbye?
That's what I thought you said.
Take... take care of yourself.
I think I just did.
You were kind of locked up.
I mean, I say locked up in that
that the image on the screen
in the series certainly
never matched the real Mary.
That's right. Right.
I was never single.
Mary Richards.
It is still Richards, isn't it?
Yes. It's... still Mary too.
So you've never been married, Mary?
No, Estelle, I haven't.
I've been married twice.
She liked it so much the first time.
I think you can look
at a show like ours
and... and look
at some of the relationships
and... say to yourself
after you've laughed
Son of a gun, that...
that happened to me once.
There's no way we can deal
with how humbling luck is.
They programmed us
in a death time slot
because whoever was in charge
of CBS then didn't like us.
Where we were in mourning
when we learned about it.
It meant they were eating us up.
They were just throwing away
the shows.
The president of the company
the businessman
he was promoted from head of sales
to head of the network.
First thing he did was all those
situation comedy shows
that had ruled the airways,
canceled lots of top-ten shows
and then he put
All in the Family on the air
and gave us the best time period
he had and saved us.
Hi, I'm Mary Tyler Moore
and I just want you to know
that starting this fall
Bob Newhart and I
will be back-to-back
every Saturday night on CBS.
Why do you fight it?
The world's changing.
They were on the same night
we were on
for All in the Family.
It was MASH and then Bob Newhart
and Mary Tyler Moore
and then Carol Barnett.
We had a great lineup.
You had to wait
until it was on, you know
and if you missed it, you missed it.
It was appointment TV for me.
I would lie on the floor
on my stomach
right in front of the TV.
My mother and I would watch
Mary Tyler Moore together.
Mary spoke to all of us.
Women could be independent,
could have careers
could stand on their own two feet
without a man.
I just remember it being part
of my routine on the weekends.
We had an audience right away
and we kept it.
And that was when everybody
stayed home and watched.
Grant Tinker used to say, you could
fly across the United States
jump out of a plane, and very likely
land on somebody watching your show.
If you transcend
all of the expectations
changes everything.
I'm sure her expectations of her life
changed after that
as did everyone else's
expectations of her.
- Get ready.
- Boy, I hate those meetings.
You never used to.
Yeah, well, it used to be
I felt like I'd be myself.
Now, I feel I represent women
everywhere.
Mary was so stellar
at being that center
that held everything together
and she always wanted
her folks to be proud.
They weren't effusive.
I've often wondered
how much
time was spent with Mary
in her mind with her folks.
Would you all like to meet
the producers of Mary Tyler Moore?
On February 14th, they're celebrating
their 50th anniversary.
So what's the secret of 50 years,
Mom and Dad?
Lots of love and respect
- and that's right.
- I go along with that.
Okay, why not? That's a smart way.
You probably remember seeing
this great cover on TV Guide.
Well, right now
right here on The Pet Set
we have this very star
as our very special guest.
I'd like you to meet Dis William.
Oh, and he brought a girl with him,
Mary Tyler Moore.
Hello there.
I noticed on the set of... of course,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
very prominently displayed on the set
is a picture of these two.
Is that for luck?
Yeah, it's for luck.
And also because the prop man said
do you have any pictures
of anybody in your family
you'd like to have on the show?
The set needs a little warming-up.
And I don't know why I brought in
pictures of the poodles
instead of my mother or father.
What happened?
Nothing, I just cut myself.
It's okay. It's just a tiny one.
- Let me look at it.
- No.
When you were a little girl
you wouldn't let me look
when you cut yourself.
I was always afraid
you'd stitch it up.
It was a scene
where her father tells her
how much he cares for her.
Mary just wanted to get it right.
You don't cry
when you cut your finger anymore?
No.
What does make you cry?
Oh, mostly dumb things.
And I remember being there.
I don't know that
that was very easy for her.
I keep a few in here.
That scene even then moved me
because when her folks
would come over
on the rare occasion for dinner
It was always a little
you're just waiting
for something to happen.
Something that would light the fuse.
Mary...
are you ever lonely?
No. Not too often, Daddy.
I have a good life.
I'm glad.
Because...
I'm sorry about your graduation.
Anything else I missed.
I love you, baby.
Well, it isn't always dumb things
that make me cry.
There. That...
that should be all right.
Careful how you handle knives.
Hey, Daddy?
You bandaged the wrong finger.
Why do you think it's such a winner,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show?
I think because of the casting...
primarily me.
No, no, but it really is
an extraordinary cast.
And I think because of the writing.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show hired
the most women of any show
and it changed
the language of television.
It was wonderful of Jim and Allan.
They really wanted to get it
from the horse's mouth.
It didn't seem like we were
having a eureka moment
when we said women would be good
to write on this show
about these women.
Totally logical thought pattern.
It was the right thing to do.
Jim said, I can write a lot of stuff.
I'm very seldom stumped
but you've got stuff in your purse
that I don't know anything about
and that's what I want you
to empty out for me.
I wanna know what women know.
I said I was the last person
to get a bra.
I love it. I'm not burning it
but I will make a contribution
to feminism
by having my own career
and being a feminist
but not by marching.
Women speak differently
and we have different ideas
and we have different stories.
I'm sure a man has never had to wear
a bad bridesmaid dress.
Mary.
Yeah?
Oh, it's bad, huh?
Well, come on out, kid.
How bad could it be?
That bad, huh?
I'd say... about the only thing
worse than this dress
would be this dress in purple.
Mary Tyler Moore was real.
And it was the way real women
talked to their parents
and their dates and their girlfriends
and Mary was the example.
A Chicago guy had written
an article saying
Mary doesn't have enough sex.
So I went in and I said,
I have a show where she can have sex.
- Rhoda.
- What?
Do you think I'm under-sexed?
I hope so.
Really, I'd like to think
this one thing
I'm better at than you are.
All those things we were learning
were okay to talk about
and to do at the same time
that the show did them.
But it changed the way
women saw themselves.
- Have a nice time, you two.
- You too, Mom.
Don't forget to take your pill.
- I won't.
- I won't.
It was a throwaway joke
and it was racy at the time
and it was huge.
I call it creeping smut.
I see it everywhere...
in bookstores,
in movies, in libraries
and now in television.
Look what happened on
The Mary Tyler Moore Show recently.
She went out on a date
and she stayed out all night.
All night?
Our little Mary?
You can sneer if you want, Maude,
but let me tell you this.
As Mary Tyler Moore goes,
so goes America.
I'm not sure if this fits.
Mary Tyler Moore
for television
represented
America at that moment
in that fresh release
from the ancient womanhood.
In a landmark ruling
the Supreme Court today
legalized abortions.
Murray, your marriage.
Mary, you know, I love Marie.
Marie is not Gloria Steinem.
Well, what's this Gloria Steinem
thing you have?
I mean, you take away
Gloria Steinem's super-intellect
and what do you got?
Never mind, bad example.
I was asked to speak
to Lady Bird Johnson's
conference of women
and it was a theater
holding 1200 people, all women.
And Gloria Steinem
spoke just before me
and derided
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
and that we were anti-feminist.
The question is
why does Mary Tyler Moore
still call Mr. Grant, Mr. Grant?
This comes up every once in a while
and it just... it just seems right.
We talked about doing a show.
Hell no.
And they booed me.
Just based on what seems right to us
about the character's behavior.
- Mr. Grant...
- Now it won't work
if you're calling me Mr. Grant.
Call me Lou.
Well, wait... would that be
just for the purpose
of this conversation?
Or... for, you know, all time?
I'll decide later.
Think you can, Mary?
Call you not Mr. Grant?
- Sure.
- Well, I'm glad it's okay.
Yes, it's okay to say it.
Really, Mary?
Really... Lou.
Call me Mr. Grant.
Thank you.
Was there some talk one time
about The Mary Tyler Moore Show
being anti-women's lib
or too pro-women's lib or...
Well, it depends
on where you're sitting.
I don't think it's anti at all.
I think there are two ladies
living by themselves
working very... as realistically
as you can get on a television...
But if viewers see it
in those terms sometimes.
Oh yeah, you see
what you feel, you know?
But do you ever find
yourself pandering
to the people who are your fans
so that you can keep them your fans?
- No, not at all.
- Any way?
See, there is
a perfectly logical explanation
- for what you heard.
- Oh really, Mary?
And what is it?
We were having an orgy.
If you wanna do a show
on network television
you have to
appeal to the whole country.
You had to
appease 40 million people.
Mary was what I like to call
a feminine feminist.
I know she didn't like
to call herself a feminist.
She didn't think feminism
was so hotsy-totsy.
There were women
that just didn't like it.
She identified with it up to a point.
She loved the spoils of femininity.
She loved the clothes
the hair and the makeup
and she loved to take that
and dress up how tough she was.
It was a good costume for her.
One day I said
you are a woman's libber.
You have your own show.
You have a child
and you were divorced.
You have set the standard
for a woman to be on her own.
She was aloof.
She was reserved.
She had an incredible veneer.
I only saw power from her.
I didn't see underneath.
Mary was either fully engaged
in the activity around her
and giving you her attention
or she was completely disengaged
virtually in thought all the time.
She always wanted to be better.
She always wanted to be different.
I just thought she was marvelous
and every time she would be insecure
and say, I'm so worried.
I mean I have to be really good.
The Sunday Show,
Mary Richards, producer!
Who was Mary, really, in real life?
She was insecure
about buying lipstick.
I usually look
so much better than this.
I have this image of Mary walking.
It's evident in
the main title of her show.
She looks proud and almost regal
and she wasn't that way at all.
It just was how she carried herself.
There's the actress Mary
who was the best civilian in charge
I've ever seen.
She was cold-blooded
in her way.
And there's the character Mary
who was an adorable doll.
There's not a great deal
of control in acting.
Did you have a lot of control
over MTM Enterprises?
No, I was never involved in that.
- It just bore your name?
- Yes.
MTM is Mary's company.
People don't realize that.
That's all, folks.
The portrait
that hangs in Mary's house
that was in my father's office.
It was always
clear who the boss was.
She was, of course, the figurehead.
But running the day-to-day
my father was always at his post,
as he would call it.
At that desk was the happiest
I'd ever seen him.
That was his business to run.
And she was fine with that.
If Grant had come to me
and asked my feelings
about something
or opinion of people or script
I would certainly give them.
While they may have talked about it
I don't know how much
he would've solicited her advice.
I think they had lanes
in which they both stayed
and it worked out well.
The lead actress of the year
in a series is...
Mary Tyler Moore.
I never saw Mary actively involved
in the business side of MTM
but there was no question
the company reflected
her sensibilities.
Mary was very instrumental
certainly in setting the tone on set.
Looking back, do you regret
that you didn't put
your own imprimatur on things?
No. You know, one can be guilty
about the things
one has never done in life.
I try not to do that.
Sure. That would be nice
were I an entrepreneur
and I had been involved
in that aspect of our business
but it has never interested me.
Nor has directing or producing
and I really love acting
and that's all I want to do.
MTM became a large company
with a lot of shows on the air
and a lot of different people
coming in.
That was the West Wing
of writing back then.
They had six sitcoms running.
The network would have a lot of notes
and then Grant wouldn't give 'em
to the writers.
And the one thing
we all had in common
was loving the ass off Grant Tinker.
We're grateful to our cast,
you know that.
We're grateful to Grant Tinker
for helping us
to always preserve
our creative freedom.
The winners are...
Ted Knight and Valerie Harper.
I do all my scenes with Mary,
and she's the best.
She's a winner
and she lets us all win Emmys.
I mean, it's incredible, truly.
Her modesty, her humility
her need to have people happy
around her
created the tent
that went over all of us.
And don't make a mistake.
No goody-two-shoes.
Mary wasn't goody-two-shoes.
Nothing got in the way of the work.
Thank you so very much.
I'd like to thank our two producers
Allan Burns and Jim Brooks
for choosing me
to be a member of the best damn
ensemble company
I've ever worked with.
I really am so proud to be
in that company
and I am so grateful.
Thank you very much.
Grant Tinker, our godfather.
Jay Sandrich.
Most of all, we have Mary.
Treva Silverman.
I was the first woman writing alone
to win an Emmy.
I didn't know what it would look like
from here. It looks terrific.
Marty Cohen, Susan Silver
wrote those words
and without them,
I'd just be another pretty face.
To be around that energy,
on the Radford lot in Studio City
I'd like to say
it was the best of times.
It was the best of times.
It was Camelot.
What I would like to say to actors
everywhere
May you have the pleasure
and joy of being with
and working with Mary Tyler Moore.
Thank you. Thank you all.
Mary, with all of the accolades
she's gotten, I think
she's a much better comedian
than anybody
ever gave her credit for.
Chuckles The Clown
was named by TV Guide
as the funniest single episode
in the history of television comedy.
It was about death.
Chuckles the Clown was just killed.
He was dressed as a peanut
and an elephant crushed him.
Stop trying to cheer me up, Lou.
And it was about how different
people react differently to death
and some people have to laugh it off
and Mary didn't think it was proper.
Why is everyone being
so callous about this?
Callous?
Well I'll have you know, dear,
that Chuckles and I were very close.
I made the first custard pie
he ever sat in.
Life's a lot like that.
From time to time we all fall down
and hurt our foo-foos.
She was just masterful
but she was also
incredibly inventive.
If only we could deal with it
as simply and bravely and honestly
as Mr. Fi-Fi-Fo.
And what did Chuckles ask in return?
Not much.
In his own words,
a little song, a little dance
a little seltzer down your pants.
There's a moment in Chuckles
where she's laughing
and then the minister talks to her
and he says, you young lady.
And she goes, and she looks around
hoping there's somebody
behind her that he's talking to.
Would you stand up, please?
Please. Please. Won't you?
You feel like laughing, don't you?
That kind of invention
only comes from someone
who has such a deeply rooted
sense of human behavior.
Go ahead, laugh out loud.
Don't you see? Nothing
would've made Chuckles happier.
He lived to make people laugh.
So go ahead. My dear.
Laugh for Chuckles.
Mary Richards
was Mary Tyler Moore inside out.
Everything that was inside Mary
was right there
in front of the camera
for people to enjoy
and admire and root for.
We have our very last show
coming up
on the filming schedule
in three weeks.
Yes. And this one's
gonna be a guest on it.
It was on our fifth year.
And they said, let's go out on top.
Let's go out on our sixth season.
And I said seven.
And they said okay.
Ted, you're staying.
And the rest of you guys
I'm gonna have to let go.
The last show was murder
because of all
the attention we had...
People writing about nothing else.
The world stopped.
She wanted to go out on top.
Thank you for being my family.
Each year we all would give
Christmas presents to each other.
You would think a lot
about what to get somebody.
And a lot of my friends
were reading a book
called How to Be
Your Own Best Friend.
I thought of Mary
has been a little way isolated
and so I bought that for her.
This was the beginning
of my getting to know the fragility.
And she said, oh, you lovely lady.
Somebody understands
that I'm not Mary Richards
that I'm not happy
all the damn time.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
It had been
a whole week of intermittent
bursting into sobs for everybody.
That moment of going back
and opening the door
and looking around
at the seven years that faced me
and that was about to go off,
was sublimely tough.
Ladies and gentlemen
for the last time, Mary Tyler Moore.
Thank you to the best cast ever.
Ed Asner.
Ted Knight.
Gavin MacLeod.
Betty White.
Georgia Engel.
Valerie Harper.
And Cloris Leachman.
Thank you.
You're not a perfect person.
Yes, I am.
Oh come now, Mary.
We know I'm not perfect.
You're not perfect.
Exactly.
You know, there's this...
there's this other side
and you've coped a lot
and I'd like to know
how you get through it.
What do you use
in order to get through
those very, very rough times?
You lost a sister.
She was 21.
She had been living
with a young man whom she loved
and he broke it off with her
and she couldn't handle that.
And so she drank
and she took barbiturates
and nobody is sure whether or not
that was a purposeful act
but she died that night
of an overdose.
What do you call upon to get you
through those kinds of times?
I don't know how to describe it.
Except to...
you know, to use the word...
survivor.
One who survives,
I believe in tomorrow.
I believe that things
that are painful...
will not be as painful in some time.
From Television City in Hollywood.
I want to be happy
How to be your own best friend.
I want to be happy
How to survive the '70s
and maybe even bump into happiness.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mary Tyler Moore.
I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too
What does friendship mean?
Trust and respect for intelligence.
A compatibility
It's almost like a marriage
without sex.
- Isn't it? Really? Yeah.
- Of sorts.
Enjoying the same things,
being able to fight and fight fairly.
Do you think
that's what ruins marriage?
- Sex?
- The sex. Yeah.
Actress Mary Tyler Moore
has filed for divorce
from her husband, Grant Tinker.
The two were married for 18 years
and together they created
and ran MTM Enterprises
the television company that gave us
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
What really started the process
of Mary Tyler Moore saying to herself
the time has come for me
to become an independent person
no longer attached to a husband?
- You moved back to New York City.
- Yes.
You said to me, New York City
was gonna provide me
with a new kind of life.
You divorced after some
17, 18 years of marriage.
Is it difficult to be on your own?
Oh yeah. It's very difficult.
Marriage relationships
or lover relationships
are destined to last
a certain amount of time.
Never think of that
as a failed marriage.
And it has nothing to do
with why a marriage ends.
Who wants it to end, who doesn't.
It's just completely alien to you
after that amount of time.
It's a big transition to make.
In my case, it coincided
with a change in career
and it may have looked
as though I calculated
ah, now I'm going to end
my marriage.
I'm going to do drama.
I'm going to move to New York.
And it truly didn't happen that way.
I knew she was in New York
because she was starring in a play
called Whose Life Is It Anyway?
which was diametrically different
from Mary Richards.
It was a drama with
a lot of sarcastic sardonic humor
of a woman fighting
for the right to die.
The phone rang and it was
Mary Tyler Moore
who said, I want to do that play.
The extraordinary part
was Mary Tyler Moore
was a major, major star
in this country
and she decided
to walk away from that.
And she came to the first
rehearsal fully memorized.
I didn't really leave television.
What happened then was
that I was offered the play
Whose Life is it Anyway?
And it was so beautifully written
and... had already been a success
with Tom Conti starring in it
that I wanted to try that.
Mary Tyler Moore replaced
Tom Conti who had won the Tony.
And it's a rare item
that somebody goes in after a star
and replicates the role.
I'm not quite sure what the impetus
for her doing that play was.
Everyone will take credit for it
because it was a unique moment
that hadn't been done before.
I suspect it was always her idea.
The truth is, I didn't think of it,
nor did the director.
We talked about it and she said
did I think it would work
with a woman playing the part?
And I thought, why wouldn't it?
And so Mary came to New York
and we started rehearsing.
She was ahead of the game.
Not only did she replace a man
who won the Tony
but this was one of the most
glamorous women in America.
And she decided to play
a woman that was paralyzed
and had a sheet covering her
in a hospital bed
for the entire evening.
You were so successful
for so many years.
It's just like people are waiting
for someone as successful
as you are to have a failure.
And they were... it seems true
that they were hoping maybe
you just retire from show business
but you didn't.
You went to the Broadway play
which was not an easy thing to do.
Oh, I, I don't have
such a jaded view of people.
It's that I think there are maybe
about 17 people
who hope you fall on your face,
but we tend to magnify that.
I don't think it's true.
I'm awfully glad I did that play.
She was extraordinary.
She got incredible reviews.
It was a terrific achievement for me.
It exonerated me from
Breakfast At Tiffany's
and again, it showed a rather
skeptical New York contingent
that there might be something
to television after all.
I went backstage to see her
and I told her
there was not one gesture
not one single thing that was
a Mary Richards kind of thing.
And she said, I'm so glad
because you're the first person
from the show who's been here.
And she said,
I was very, very intent
on not doing any Mary Richards.
Funnily enough,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
now mirrors my life.
When I was filming that show
I was married, I was born married.
I'd never had the single experience,
you know?
And... the last three years
I've been on my own
and now living almost every one
of the episodes that we filmed
all those situations, I can now say
oh, now I really understand
what was happening.
I decided to stay in New York
and try to capture my life
for myself.
Here she was, 40, seeing what life
for an adorable single person
was like
and she loved what it was like.
The only way I could say it
is that she was more like Rhoda.
It was wonderful.
Adolescence. I think
that's what I'm going through now.
And I think that's a positive term
as opposed to a negative one.
And I think it will make me
a better actress.
I dated, I made friends.
I had a little apartment.
I did my own shopping.
I sort of played house,
but in real life.
New Yorkers are really very friendly.
I get truck drivers and cabbies...
hey Mar, it's good to see you.
Love the show.
You're in it in humanity
and all kinds of people
not just one class of people.
Because Grant
was so much a part of my life
I felt no need for friends
except those people
with whom I was working.
But now I have many friends.
Her humor didn't come out
so much in LA, but in New York
she was loose and free and funny
which was adorable.
Everybody wanted
to take out Mary Tyler Moore.
Are you dating?
Oh, I hate that word.
I see people.
I go out to dinner with people.
I travel with people
and I consider them my friends.
We had a relationship
while the show was going on.
We were helping each other.
I was trying to make her
really good in the play.
There was a part of Mary
which was absolutely
delightful and very funny.
But then there was
another part of her
which was nervous as a person
Who is wondering
if they've made the right choice.
Good evening, and welcome
to the 34th annual presentation
of the Tony Awards.
The ultimate test for a performer
is the naked stage.
It takes courage for someone
who's made a successful career
in another medium to chance this.
So when someone does take
a chance and brings it off...
she, in this case she,
wins our respect.
The people who administer
the Tony Awards
have this year, in their wisdom
decided to give a special award
to Mary Tyler Moore.
(Thank you.)
This... will symbolize for me forever
the absolute joy
in creative risk-taking.
It's the essence of live theater
and I am so very proud to be now
a part of that community.
My deepest thanks
to Manny Azenberg for inviting me
and to all of you
for this very warm welcome.
I love the neighborhood.
Thank you.
At one point, Mary wanted
an exclusive relationship
but then she said
but I don't know what I mean.
It wasn't like she wanted
to get married again.
There was the issue
which was an occasional issue then,
of Mary's drinking.
One vodka on the rocks at dinner,
she'd be great.
Two vodkas on the rocks, same.
But usually if she had
a third cocktail and some wine
she got slightly belligerent.
She'd lose concentration.
And so whatever conversation
you were having
might take a wrong turn.
I found myself not going out
after five o'clock
and making sure that
everything was set up for me
near the phone
that was near the television
and that I had my blender
full of drinks
that I was concocting
in an attempt to do something
worthwhile in the kitchen.
It was a pretty sad lady
that was emerging.
I saw this movie, Ordinary People.
What a... it's a killer.
- It's just terrific.
- Thank you very much.
Did you have to wait in line?
I waited in line for about an hour.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't do that.
Who had the foresight to say,
she'd be great?
Bob Redford... told me
that when he had first read the book
in galley form
four years before
he had envisioned me
as the mother before he knew
he was gonna buy the property
and make a movie.
And he said also that
he had always been fascinated
by what might be the dark side
of Mary Tyler Moore.
Because in most everything I've done
it's been sunny
and open and optimistic.
And he knew, that little devil
that there... there was a lot
of other stuff happening.
I had a place in Malibu.
I was sitting there just
looking out the ocean
and suddenly this woman walked by.
What it looked like to me
was that she was sad.
I said, oh, that's Mary Tyler Moore.
And we had always seen
Mary Tyler Moore
as this happy-go-lucky,
upbeat, wonderful
wonderful character
was full of joy and innocence.
In the film, Beth's barrenness
of emotion derives the fact
that she lost
her son Buck in an accident
And that she can't deal
with the surviving son
because of what this has done to her.
Do it. Calvin.
Just a second, smile.
- Calvin, give me the camera.
- No, I didn't get it yet, Beth.
- Come on, Give me the camera.
- Dad, give her the camera.
That was such a change of pace
that a woman
could be so brittle inside
that she could alienate her son.
I saw her as a victim.
What do you think?
Very nice.
I saw her as very reminiscent
of my own life.
If it's starting all over again,
the lying, the covering-up
the disappearing for hours,
I will not stand for it.
I can't stand it. I really can't.
Well, don't, then. Go to Europe!
When I saw her
in Ordinary People
I thought that's
more like who she is.
She didn't wanna talk about
things that were uncomfortable.
I'd seen some of that in Mary
in her more serious moments
with my father.
I'd seen that pensiveness,
the hand-wringing.
You drink too much
at parties, Calvin.
I'd seen anger, hurt, confusion
the inability to connect with Rich.
I'd seen flashes of that.
You were loved and adored
as Mary Richards
who was anything but what Beth is.
And now you're loved and adored
because you're just... kind of
a nas... not a nasty person...
I don't know if I'm loved and adored.
In times past, people
would come up to me in the street
and say, hey Mar, how are you?
Now they're going, hi.
In 1980, in a grim instance
of life mirroring art...
you faced
a new torment, did you not
that echoed the death
of that son in Ordinary People?
The son of television star
Mary Tyler Moore is dead.
The coroner is still doing tests
to determine
if 24-year-old Richard Meeker
deliberately shot himself.
He died in...
an accident with a gun.
The reports
that it had been a suicide
would further cause anguish.
And it just was so unfair.
There was no doubt in my mind
from the very beginning
that that was an accident.
I knew Rich,
I knew he could be careless.
He loved life too much.
He was a really lovable goof.
He explored. He loved people.
He had a huge heart.
Yet he had a side of him that
was just a little accident-prone.
He had a gun collection.
He was lying on his bed
and he was fooling with one of them.
When I viewed that movie
I thought Richie had already died
when she played that role.
And then it turned out
that life imitated art, sadly.
Richie died three weeks after
the premiere of Ordinary People.
So the Oscar nomination
for Best Actress that followed
was bittersweet.
...for her role as a mother
unable and unwilling
to bend her own
self-imposed restrictions
on the meaning of love and life.
Ms. Mary Tyler Moore
in Ordinary People.
Ladies and gentlemen
of the Academy
your choice is
Miss Sissy Spacek.
When Richie died
that really changed her.
She was like
really searching herself.
That had an effect on her
that lasted.
There are people
who have the same experience
and then they stop living.
They don't know how to go on.
They don't know how to cope
and they don't know
how to make the next step.
Yeah, well, he would've hated that.
He would not have wanted
that to happen.
I'm still angry.
I haven't quite reconciled it.
I don't have
a religious belief that...
I can rely on that says,
well, we are here on earth
to put... to prove ourselves
worthy of heaven.
So I have anger
and I'm working through that.
In her high school yearbook
Mary wrote, the world is ready
to welcome talent
with open arms.
It was through talent
that she could gain acceptance.
She understood that talent
was the thing that
was going to be her life
was going to save her life
and was going to gain
the attention that she craved.
I wouldn't call her reserved.
She was determined.
Just because you have
a smile on your face
doesn't mean you're not ready
to go to battle.
The full story of Mary
was both the fighter
and the person
so willing to offer a smile.
How she and Robert met
was out of a fairy tale.
Her mom and her dad and Mary
had gone to Rome.
She got an audience with the Pope.
My mom and dad and I were
coming back from Europe
and the plane landed in New York.
Mother was very ill
with a bronchial infection.
So I called my doctor
and it was Rosh Hoshannah.
He was at temple.
But there was a Dr. Levine
who, for whatever
his own personal reasons
was not at temple.
I was the only Jewish doctor working.
I really didn't know who Mary was.
So we took her over
to Mount Sinai Hospital
and while he gave her the once-over
I did the same to him and...
and thought, well now we...
Mary!
Exactly! My very words, Sarah. Mary!
Because I was a few years
older than he
and... well probably still am.
I went to her apartment
a couple days later
just to examine her mom.
Her mom was doing well.
So I said, you're clear
to go back to Los Angeles.
Mary then said, you know, Dr. Levine
I haven't been feeling
that well, either.
Could you listen to my chest?
As I was leaving, I said to Mary
if anything comes up,
just give me a call.
So Mary said
is acute loneliness
a good enough reason to call?
And I said, I can't think
of a better reason
to be awakened at 3.00am.
She called me on the phone
at two in the morning
and she said, I have just met
the most wonderful man.
I said, it's two o'clock
in the morning.
She said, he's just wonderful.
He's young.
And I said, so?
So a few days later,
at 3.00am she did call me
and she said to me, do you cook?
And I lied and said no.
And so she said, well, I guess
we'll have to go out to dinner.
The minute he came into Mary's life
she fell in love
for the first time in her life.
I wasn't well-equipped
to have a first date
with someone like Mary
because I wasn't a person
who dated at all.
I didn't have any moves, if you will.
I had no game.
I think that was what Mary
may have liked about me.
Welcome to Malibu East
here in Quehog.
- Beautiful.
- That's my mom.
- Beautiful downtown Quehog.
- Are you good, Pam?
Yeah. Now taking picture...
Now taking picture of this is Robert.
Hello.
So Mary was 18 years older than me.
I was an old man
by the time I met her.
And she was still a young woman.
Robert is a very old soul.
And I'm probably the baby.
I'm the brat of the relationship.
But that's really not true.
That's a joke.
The truth is that
I have always depended on
an older, stronger influence
in my life
whether it was husband or father.
And there came a time in my life
coincidentally just when I met Robert
and the magic was there
that I was ready to be my own person.
So with Robert, it was an opportunity
to say, okay,
now this is truly equal.
You got nothing to fear here
'cause look how much younger
he is than you.
You have the experience, now.
It always appears
that I've been vitally independent
but not truly in my private life.
I was very much a person
who liked being directed and led.
Does Mary Tyler Moore
wanna get married again?
I don't think so.
No. I don't see any need for that.
We're doing
this roast for Mary Tyler Moore
because soon
she'll be Mary Tyler Levine.
You're sure?
- Yes, I am.
- Oh, okay.
So who will start? Betty?
Betty White will now start
with the roast potatoes.
It's not a roast, it isn't.
It's a, it's a paean
of, of gratitude.
It's a, it's a thing
that we should all...
We all wanna to,
but we don't know how?
No, we don't have to pretend,
darling. We love you very much.
And as far as I'm concerned
I have answered so many questions
about my career
about how do I realize
how much Mary did for my career?
- Oh Christ.
- And I say, yes, I do!
- I didn't mean that.
- But what? No, no.
I'm so glad we have holes in this.
I wouldn't know where to put my arms.
Or my boobs...
If there is any way
I could possibly help you
in any kind of advice
you'd like or any kind of...
You just don't call her...
That was so perfect.
She never drinks.
And it's Marge,
don't you have something to say?
Marge, Marge, don't you have
something to say?
Just a little something
to your daughter.
- Come on, Mom.
- Come on, Mom.
Stand up here and say something
and be really good.
Be the best you've ever been.
Roses red, violets are bluish.
You once were
a Mick and now you're Jewish.
Cut. Stop.
He is one of those rare doctors
who truly cares about patients.
He sometimes can't go to sleep
without them
but not often.
And that's to his benefit to that...
He's not a crazy person.
He can go to sleep
and wake up in the morning.
Oh shit.
Anyway, I think you'd all like him.
Now go away.
And one of America's favorites
had a wedding last night.
Mary Tyler Moore
married Robert Levine.
He's a doctor.
The wedding
was at a Fifth Avenue Hotel
with 250 of their friends.
Was it unlikely? Probably.
Was it unexpected? Absolutely.
But I went to the wedding.
I remember saying to her
well, you finally achieved
what every New York Jew
or Catholic mother wanted.
You married a doctor.
Their wedding was wonderful.
I was her matron of honor.
It was great.
So she had a priest
and he had a rabbi.
Mary's father was
the most gentile person.
He could walk past
the synagogue and neutralize it.
It would become a Unitarian church.
He was standing half under
the chuppah and half out.
He was afraid that
if he got under that thing
something was gonna happen to him.
We rehearsed how we would address
the first dance together.
And she didn't want to lead
but she knew that if I didn't step up
that's what was gonna happen.
So I had to figure out
how to take control.
But after that it all devolved
into a very special party.
I made the blessing
all the bread with a full heart.
They were an odd couple.
She married a regular person
but she was devoted to him
and he was devoted to her.
You can't ask for anything else.
He got up at twelve or one
in the morning
and made a tuna fish sandwich.
Not for him and me, but for me.
And it was the most loving thing
that anybody had ever done for me
before in my life.
I'd been given jewels
that were given a lot of things
that... we all think
are obviously of value.
But for me, the most thing
that was of value
was that tuna fish sandwich
That was for nothing
from someone gave it only to me.
Loving Mary was easy.
She opened the door
to something about me
that I thought was shut forever.
Today I have this feeling
that I could put my arms around you
and I could touch you
and that you would respond.
But many years ago when we first met
I think I would be scared to death
to touch Mary Tyler Moore...
- of me?
- ...for total fear
that I would really be
rebuffed by you.
There was such... a coolness.
- I know, yeah.
- Such an aloofness Mary
and I see,
I don't see that Mary, now.
- What happened?
- I don't know.
I can't explain it, I,
maybe it's just growth.
Maybe it's analysis.
Maybe it's finally saying
all right, I'll let myself show
with all my flaws.
It's not the end of the world
if I'm not perfect.
And... you know,
it was that misguided thinking.
I'm sure that kept the,
the shield around me that called
that caused people to call me
the... the ice princess.
I mean, I was never cold to people
but I never really,
confided in people
and I never...
shared any of the, the ugly sides
or those things
that I thought were ugly.
And now I will do that.
Boy.
Hello.
It's Mrs. Ford, the president's wife.
The big turning point
of my life happened
after spending a year
with my husband Robert
who is... a very tender dear
and very wise person.
I was able to see myself
and what I was doing
without realizing it
how I was living in the fast lane
and how it just seemed to me
I had to live in the fast lane.
And so came that time
when I began to look at myself
and what I was doing and I changed.
Hello?
Hello, Mary.
This is Betty Ford.
She had had Betty Ford
on her show.
She knew of Mrs. Ford's
treatment of people with
her difficulty with alcohol
and the Betty Ford Center
in California.
Hi, Betty.
This is Mary, Queen of Scott's.
Liza Minelli had just been there
and Elizabeth Taylor
had just been there.
And I called Betty Ford Center
and I made my appointment
and they took me the very next day.
And Robert, he said
goodbye to me at the jetway.
But the confidence of having
just been hugged and kissed by him
and the two Bloody Marys
that I had on the plane
got me there and began
the grand process of chipping away
and chiseling down to the real me
or the blob that was me.
That was going to become a person.
With the help of some counselors
and a lot of group therapy sessions
I was able to examine myself
In the way I handled my life
and the way I handled problems.
And I allowed myself to be imperfect.
It was at that point that we started
looking at the country house
and looking at gardening
and, and horses
and, and stuff like that.
It's nice, isn't it, Linus?
Yes, Winny and Sundance.
Shut up, Dash.
You better get used to it, Dash
they're part of the family now.
All right, so here we are
coming out of the barn
and this is the new arena
that eventually will have...
a ring in it.
A ring?
You know, for
the horses to ride.
It has a ring in it.
Around the edge.
Look through the visor.
Well, I can't really
look through the visor
because then
it makes it too bumpy.
Shut up, Robert!
And that's a...
Did you have to, John?
I went to see her in Millbrook.
It was nice to
see her in a bucolic setting.
Nothing to do but beautiful.
It's very sweet.
Mary Tyler Moore
is the one we're talking about today.
She occupies
her own very unique place
in the hearts of television
viewers coast to coast.
But at home, her five horses
and her two dogs
don't seem to know that she's one
of the great comedians
of American television.
They do know, however, they occupy
a special place in her heart.
When she needs to take a break
from whatever she's doing
be it a play or movie or TV show
or charitable endeavor.
Self-styled workhorse
Mary Tyler Moore works with horses.
Her Palomino pal is named John
and the Philly who's feeling
her oats is Laughing Lucy.
This handsome albino
is Mary's pride and joy
in part because she's known him
since the beginning.
John was born in Mary's stable
just about a year ago.
Your book ends so beautifully
with a metaphor inspired
by a blue-eyed albino foal.
What is the foal's name?
John.
- What was your brother's name?
- John.
Mary was largely
alienated from her brother
until a number of years
after we had met and married.
I think she was sorry
that she missed the years
that she missed of having a family.
My brother John,
he developed kidney cancer
and he died holding my hand.
Last picture.
He saw pictures of Mary
taken by the Chuppah.
- To Mary.
- Yeah.
- I love you.
- Ah, that's good.
John is...
almost five months old now
and looking
very much like a camel.
Very much like a camel.
Here you go, baby.
Look how tall he is,
see, he's right up to my face
which is not
looking terribly great
'cause I don't have
any makeup on. All right?
Normally I'm so
much cuter than this.
But anyway, John.
Hi, don't I
look so much cuter today?
No, really? Seriously.
Look at my face.
See, have eye
makeup on, my hair.
Properly dressed.
Is that I...
Oh no, Dash is getting dizzy.
So, Dash,
you wanna get this ball?
Okay watch it now.
Track it good.
Look him, look at him go.
An almost mid-air catch!
The public, did they expect
too much of you, Mary Tyler Moore?
I've never felt that...
I was restricted.
And I, as you know,
I've made a lot of changes.
She wanted to leave
Mary Richards forever behind.
And so it was challenging
sometimes to find new roles.
I want you to see something.
- Very nice girl.
- For God's sake.
I want you to consider my age
and ask yourself how I maintain this.
Mom, why are you doing this?
- How? I don't know how.
- This is it, all right?
I couldn't have a baby
but I had to fight
the laws of gravity just the same.
And you need the help of a good bra.
And believe you me, you wanna keep
your husband's attention
you'll get one pronto.
I know that you've been very active
in the fight
against juvenile diabetes.
Right, looking for the cure.
You're the international chairman,
are you not?
Yes, of the Juvenile
Diabetes Foundation.
And I believe that your husband,
Dr. Robert Levine is active too.
- Is he not?
- Yes, he is indeed.
- Say hello.
- Please stand up.
With the Juvenile Diabetes
Research Foundation.
It really was a chance for her
to be back in the ensemble
to be part of a movement
because the status quo
was not acceptable.
You know, the lives
that children were living
in those days were shortened.
She went to Washington
to talk about juvenile diabetes.
She raised a lot of money.
She moved progress forward.
...but we cannot lose momentum.
Not now that we are so close.
So I ask you, Mr. Chairman,
members of the committee
look around once more.
Listen to the voices of the children
who will tell you
their stories today.
And when you retire
to your deliberations
promise to remember them.
Mary helped them raise
close to $2 billion.
Hope that very much
depends on actions
you, your colleagues, and
the administration choose to take.
From the moment you decided
that this is what I wanted to be.
I wanna be a dancer.
I wanna be an actress.
Were you ever rebuffed
we ever turned down?
- I mean...
- I'll tell you this.
I will go to my grave thinking
of myself as a failed dancer
not a successful actress.
It's all a fake. And someday
they'll see it, it'll all go away.
Now this fake
was in a show that won
numerous Emmy awards.
This fake and Dick Van Dyke
won best acting awards in 1964, 1965.
And this fake won
the 1965 Golden Globe Award
as female TV personality of the year.
This is Mama.
Here's Mama.
Mary was always strong-willed.
She never gave that strong will up.
She was very secure in those
last years when Robert was around.
As for what the diabetes caused her
I firmly believe without question
Mary Tyler Moore
lived ten years longer
than she would've lived
without the care of Robert.
Being that person for Mary
that loving protector
included making
tuna fish sandwiches for her
in the middle of the night
or getting up and getting her
a glass of orange juice
when her blood sugar dropped too low
whatever it took...
We saw Mary Tyler Moore
fight her way back
from the edge of death so many times
that she should have been gone.
She had been
in the hospital three weeks.
Robert was always there,
but the man would get exhausted.
So he would go home at night
and I'd sit
in the hospital room with Mary.
I'd read the Bible to her.
I'd talk about
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
and I do remember
that she leaned back
and said it feels great to remember.
When she was dying
in the hospital.
I'd crawl into bed with her
and just held hands.
I couldn't stand
that she was gonna die.
It's a horrible disease.
Hi, sweetie.
I just had a low blood sugar
and I think we've we're on the way
to correcting it anyway
with some orange juice and cookies.
So give me a call
when you can. Bye-bye.
We begin with breaking news.
Actress Mary Tyler Moore
has passed away.
It is the loss
of a true legend in Hollywood.
She was a television icon
for a generation.
Mary Tyler Moore could turn
the world on with her smile.
Her series,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
helped usher in a new era
for women on television.
The actress died Wednesday
with her husband
and friends at her side.
She was 80.
She was something special.
There was no one like Mary.
She was steel. And I miss her.
I will always miss her.
She was just my best friend ever.
Her work as a comedian
was unparalleled.
It's like a warrior, someone
that gets through it all.
Mary tapped into something
that is universal.
Mary's was a life
that need not end
with her passing.
It's how we hold onto her
and what she did
and why and how we carry it forward
that gives her life
even greater meaning.
She was a wonderful symbol
to womanhood
to the movement
as everybody said.
But she doesn't do anything
for the movement.
She did everything for the movement.
You had no idea
what you meant to me.
There are those of us
who we only had the television
for inspiration.
And you were one of those women
who was a light.
I think Mary's legacy
is that she's fundamentally
shifted in our culture
how we perceive women
in entertainment.
Period. End of story.
Her ideas weren't just siloed
to a character she played
on a television show.
Women like Mary Tyler Moore
cut a path
that I'm standing in right now.
For all of her positive
and radiant energy
she was no stranger
to adversity and challenge.
She surmounted those things.
She continued.
I think
she was meant to spark fire
with a very delicate match.
It impacted
many people that followed.
Those women weren't just white
and they may not
just have been women.
Why did I like Mary Tyler Moore?
'Cause I'm American
and I'm not a stone.
Because between her
and Jackie Kennedy
they shaped this country
between all of her portrayals
between Laura Petrie
and Mary Richards
it's what shaped Americans'
whole taste level.
I think the real answer
to who Mary has inspired is
as many women as Eleanor Roosevelt.
Knowing her, she deserves it.
You know what?
You got spunk.
Well...
I hate spunk.
I loved her. And she knew it.
How much Mary Tyler Moore
exists in Mary Richards?
- Oh, a lot.
- A lot.
- Oh, a lot.
- What of you is in her?
My good nature, my earnestness
and my belief in a happy ending.
I treasure you people.
Lou.
I think my favorite memory of her
is how dear she was
when we wrote the last show.
We had everybody
saying their farewells on the show.
I think we all need some Kleenex.
There's some on Mary's desk.
We've forgotten her.
She was the only one
we didn't give a goodbye to.
And her coming to the office
for the first time
to ask for something in the script
after seven years.
Mr. Grant
could I say
what I wanted to say, now?
Please?
Okay, Mary.
And that she was shy
and uncertain about it.
It just killed her.
And she had built the studio.
Well I just wanted you to know
that sometimes I get concerned
about being a career woman.
I get to thinking my job
is too important to me.
And I tell myself
that the people I work with
are just the people I work with
and not my family.
And last night I thought
what is a family, anyway?
They're just people
who make you feel less alone
and really loved.
And that's what you've done for me.
It's hard to look at
what others might call
our love story
from arm's length.
All I know is I carry her always.
I'm walking literally
in wall to wall shit.
Okay, we're
gonna stop now, honey.
Okay.
Say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Bye for now.
Translator: IYUNO
There can't be anybody
in the United States
that doesn't know, like
and admire Laura Petrie
of The Dick Van Dyke Show
otherwise known as the beautiful
and talented Mary Tyler Moore.
Welcome.
Mary Tyler Moore.
The world should know that your name
is really Mary Tyler Moore Tinker.
Yes, isn't that darling?
Should be Mary Tyler Tinker Moore.
- Yes.
- Was the wife you played there
kind of an idealization
of the American wife?
There is no such woman.
Most of them are wretched nags.
I don't think so.
Yes. I think we all have our moments.
Some of us have the...
the nagging personality
come to the fore
more often than others.
But Laura Petrie broke down and cried
and she used ploys to get her way
and she was nasty
and short-tempered.
And she was also sweet and soft,
and she was many things.
Oh, no, I think she was sort of a...
a strained idealization
of the American woman
as she thinks she is.
But they had
no connection with reality.
I mean, the woman that's talking
all the time in a restaurant
I claim that you can walk
into an average restaurant
and if you have
observed life enough...
American
female-male relationships...
you can look in the restaurant
and tell who's married
and who's single.
Where the woman
is just yakking like crazy.
And the man has a hurt,
bored expression.
- Yes.
- They're real married.
I know. I know.
And where she's listening
and he's just elecutioning
and she's just wide-eyed
and attentive...
they're engaged.
Oh gosh. I'll probably
get in trouble saying this
but I really do think more wives
should investigate
the possibilities of working
because I agree with Betty Friedan
in her point of view in her book,
The Feminine Mystique
that women are,
or should be, human beings first
women second,
wives and mothers third.
It should fall in that order.
And that if there's enough thought
and effort put into this attempt
that it will not hurt the family,
it will not hurt the work
that they can function
very nicely together. I'm proving it.
Just consider what visitors
from outer space might think
if they were confronted
with the last 20 years
of television and films
as the only evidence of what
American women were like.
It would be quite clear
that we slept in false eyelashes
and full makeup
and indeed spent all of our lives
with such ornamentation on us.
Some of us would be taken
to be a servant class of some sort.
Some of us would be taken
to be sex-crazed
others totally puritanical.
Most of us would be man junkies
very strange creatures
who were thought to need men
for our identities.
If we lived alone, we would
almost have to be widows
at least until recently
on television.
That's begun to change.
I could discover
the secret of immortality
and people would still say,
look at that single girl.
It stems from a love
of what you're doing.
It would be unnatural
not to have ambition, I would think.
Her seven Emmy awards
her three Golden Globe Awards
and her Academy Award nomination
are only the beginning of the story.
While I would never consciously
choose pain for myself
sometimes you have
to have a little pain
a little disappointment.
Oh, Rob!
Are you saying it's my fault?
Every woman in America
must have dreamed
about being just like her.
Please welcome Mary Tyler Moore.
Believe me, Millie.
- It wasn't quite like this.
- Oh well, I believe you
but how you gonna convince
40 million other people?
What should we know about you?
Well, most of the things
that you should know about me
I'm not gonna tell.
I don't take huge risks, though.
I'm not a foolish person.
You know what's got me really upset?
- I have no idea.
- I just sounded nuts.
Mary!
It's your first nomination.
How do you feel tonight?
Wonderful!
What she really needed to do
and ultimately gets
the last chance to do
is have a life of her own.
I don't think anyone
in the entertainment business
has gone through more changes
than you have in this...
Wait a minute, that can't be true.
In this past year, I guess
one would call it a midlife crisis.
I hate that term, crisis, though.
- Midlife change.
- A midlife change. Okay.
And the courage to... follow through
with what you perceive
as a necessary change.
It may be difficult
for people to understand
because they see somebody like me
who has been working for a long time
and has been relatively successful
and they think,
oh, that's independence.
It is not necessarily true.
I was born December 29th, 1936
in Brooklyn, New York.
As my father reminds me, though,
of impoverished nobility.
I was a feisty kid.
I was always in fights
with the neighborhood kids
possibly because it was
an ethnically-charged situation.
By that time, it had become
an Orthodox Jewish community.
And here I was
this English-Irish Catholic kid.
I knew at a very early age
what I wanted to do.
Some people refer to it
as indulging in my instincts
and my artistic bent.
I call it just showing off
which was what I did
from about three years of age on.
And my grandfather once said of me
this child will either
end up on stage or in jail.
What part did your father
play in your life?
Oh, a very important part.
He was a rather intimidating force.
I always wanted his respect.
I knew I could never reach him
on the intellectual level.
So in order to win him over,
I had to do it on some other plane.
And for me then, it was...
performing
which my father
was never very good at.
My mother was an alcoholic.
She was most at ease at a party
or having a party.
Everybody's good-time, best gal
not the most attuned to parenting
that I would have liked.
She would start drinking in the day
and she would not stop
until somebody found the bottle
and took it away.
I didn't know anything
about alcoholism at the time
and I thought that
she was getting drunk at me.
That if she really, really loved me,
she could stop.
My aunt and grandmother
who lived together
had taken me for weekends
from the time I was an infant
making it easier
for my mother and father
to have a good time on their own.
I thought, the best way to get
my parents' attention and approval
is by succeeding as a dancer.
I started studying
when I was eight years old
when we moved to California.
That was just after World War II.
And I had a very successful uncle
named Harold Hackett
who was with MCA.
He had been luring the family
to come to this land of sunshine
and promise for all called Hollywood.
And since my father
was working for ConEd
and didn't really have
what you'd call a career
and my Aunt Birdie
who was working for radio
she decided that she could take care
of herself out there.
And so the whole family moved.
And at that point the whole family
included my seven-year
younger brother John.
I started taking dance classes
right away
that my Aunt Birdie paid for
and drove me to
and for which my grandmother
made the costumes for the recitals.
It was pretty locked into my mind
and heart and soul
that that's what I was going to do.
When you went out
for your very first job
did you get it?
Yes. Yes.
The very first job was the day after
the high school graduation prom.
And what was the job?
And that was
the series of commercials
on the Ozzie and Harriet
television show
in which I played a pixie
representing the Hotpoint appliances.
I was Happy Hotpoint, oh.
Happy Hotpoint at your service.
I really liked doing that.
But I had also married
very soon after
that first commercial was filmed.
And despite my best intentions
I found myself pregnant
two months later.
And that was a difficult moment
to live through
for the Hotpoint people too
because there I was
with these emerging breasts
in my little gray leotard
not looking very much like
the logo they had in mind.
So that had to be truncated.
And I went on to become
Richard's mother.
I think there's a terrible
contempt for women
still in our society
implicit in this glorified image
of women only as a sex object.
Implicit in this glorified insistence
that women's fulfillment
is motherhood and only motherhood.
Cows can have babies
but women have minds
as well as breasts
as well as sexual organs.
And women are made to feel guilty
if they really use their minds.
We don't know. We don't know.
You know, we really don't know
what women can do
what women can be.
My mother became pregnant at age 40.
So my mother's child,
my sister Elizabeth
was three months older
than her nephew Richard.
And they grew up in the same playpen
because as I began to work more often
my mother,
who was now a sober person
that I could count on,
watched those two.
I married very early.
I married right after high school.
And... I think that choice...
had to do with the pressure
that was put on young women
during the '50s...
which said
that the ultimate goal in life
is marriage, children,
and career, if you can work it in.
- Hello.
- Who's this?
This is Richard Diamond
of the disintegrating Diamonds.
Well, at least you're awake.
Don't take any money on it. Samuel.
You wanted me
to make sure you were up.
She's due at your home
in about five minutes.
- Who's due?
- Dorian Crane.
She lives on the right side
of the tracks in Beverly Hills.
What side is that?
Because I did a really strange part.
- Did you?
- Yeah.
- Because...
- Not in a porno!
No... no.
On a series called
the Richard Diamond Show.
- Yeah.
- Which starred David Janssen.
I played his telephone operator.
But you never saw my face.
- Never?
- Never. You just heard my voice
which was quite a few octaves lower
than the voice
you're used to hearing.
- Really?
- Yes. Sexy Sam.
That's funny.
- They never saw your face?
- Never saw my face.
The most frustrating thing...
- That's not fair!
- ...that I ever experienced.
Yes, it was because this
would've been such a letdown.
That's not a sexy face.
Yes, oh tell them.
She became
every male viewer's fantasy.
And there was big hype about her
because the producers decided
to create some interest
by not revealing who she was.
Now I was making
for each episode $85
and I decided that
because of all the attention
that the character was getting
that I should
go in and ask for more. And I did.
I went into
the producer's office and I said
I really, really think that I should
get a little more money
for this role that I'm playing.
And without letting me
finish the sentence
he said, "You know, my dear,
anybody with a good pair of legs
and a sultry voice can play this
part.
So goodbye and good luck to you."
Ten cents a dance
That's what they pay me
Gosh, how they weigh me down
Ten cents a dance
Softies and rough guys
Tough guys who tear my gown
Did you ever start out
like everybody else
having frustrations and periods
when you couldn't get
- when you couldn't get arrested?
- Many, many.
And when I could get arrested,
it was on a television show
that was probably
really very badly done.
Carrying microfilm
of government property is illegal.
You're under arrest,
suspicion of espionage.
Vern, you can take her in now.
I did a lot of those boring shows.
I never heard
of any job you didn't get.
Well, there was one part I didn't get
and I'm really very glad I didn't.
It was to play the part
of Danny Thomas's daughter.
Now, ladies and gentlemen
a formal introduction please
for our guest star
Mary Tyler Moore.
A few years ago,
we auditioned a lot of young girls
to play the part
of my older daughter Terry
in the family series.
And Mary was
one of the two finalists.
But it was left to me
to have to tell her
that she wasn't right for the part.
And... I'd like you to see
why she wasn't right for the part.
Come here.
Now tell the truth.
Would anybody believe that that nose
could be the father of that nose?
The day that I read
for the part of Laura Petrie
on The Dick Van Dyke Show
had followed a week of rejections
and I was having coffee with a friend
and my agent tracked me down
and said, you've gotta
get over and see Carl Reiner.
He wants to read with you for
the part of Dick Van Dyke's wife.
And I said, no, I'm not going.
I'm sorry.
I can't take any more rejections.
You know
I'm not gonna get that part.
I was terrified because
it was my hero, Carl Reiner
who was the writer-producer
of this show.
The Dick Van Dyke Show
was originally a show
for my father to star in.
My father had been on television
for many years with Sid Caesar
and the Show of Shows
and Caesar's Hour.
And then when the show was over
he started writing
a series for himself
and he played the character
that Dick Van Dyke plays
ultimately.
It was called Head of the Family.
They made the pilot
and it didn't sell.
And he had a meeting
with Sheldon Leonard
with Danny Thomas and they said
the show is great,
but we gotta find a new you.
So they recommended Dick Van Dyke
and I'm glad Dick wound up doing it
because it's what we say...
we take the comedy of the Jew
and we push it through the goy.
I never knew that there had been
a... a prior pilot.
And I went over there,
and thank God I did.
You remember me
grabbing your head?
I think you got scared.
You thought I was gonna...
because producers in those days
and maybe still, have a reputation
of wanting something more than...
Yeah, something more than the talent.
And I heard her,
there was a ping in a voice.
You only read...
I read about 60 girls
and I read the full script with 'em
hoping to find something.
She read three lines.
I don't like you...
at all.
Three simple lines.
There was such a ping
and an excitement
and a reality to her.
What attracted you to Laura Petrie?
The chance to work
with Dick Van Dyke and Carl Reiner.
I mean...
what more do you need?
Carl, it was such a platonic love.
He was my father, my brother.
He was my teacher,
my member of the audience
for whom I wanted
to do the scene well.
When I heard him laugh,
that's all I needed.
How often does my boss
ask us over to his house?
How often is one called upon
to be a responsible parent?
They just immediately gelled.
The president
of the network will be there.
It was seamless.
Well then, I think you should go.
Oh, I mean it, honey. There's
no sense both our staying home.
After all, you have
a responsibility to your work
and I fully understand that.
But we just liked each other
right from the beginning.
- You do?
- Sure I do.
You don't mind if I go alone?
Not at all, darling.
There was right away
a sense of being very comfortable
in humor that we shared.
Well...
It's just that I couldn't go
to a party
knowing my son
was on the verge of being sick.
I couldn't enjoy myself.
Such chemistry. Such charisma.
I watch the reruns
of The Dick Van Dyke Show
and I remember every one of...
and I break up, you know?
I do, I watch them
every once in a while
just before we do our show.
I have a little television set
in the trailer and I catch it
but it's a little like the portrait
of Dorian Gray in reverse.
- Oh no.
- I hate it.
- Oh no.
- I was such a baby there.
No, we're getting,
oh, we're getting better!
- That's true.
- We look much better
- don't you think?
- We're not getting older.
- We're getting better.
- Right, better and prettier!
Go eat your hearts out,
you 22-year-olds!
Going in, I knew I was in with
a bunch of black belts in comedy
and I'd had no real experience at it.
I didn't know what I was doing.
There was no hint at all
that Mary could do comedy.
I said, she may be
the next Katharine Hepburn
but I don't know about comedy.
Early on, Carl saw
some spark of humor in me.
He wrote a script called
My Blonde-Haired Brunette.
That was my initiation.
Oh, Millie, I'm getting old.
Oh, come on, Laura. One gray hair
isn't gonna make you old.
Yeah, well it's not just a gray hair.
It's Rob's whole attitude toward me.
We each know exactly what the other
is gonna think and do.
There just
aren't any more surprises left.
Well, you have to make them.
Well, how do you do that?
Well, whenever Jerry
starts taking me for granted
and I have a simple remedy.
- What?
- I just bleach my hair.
Millie. Do you think
that if I bleach my hair that...
No, I couldn't.
Why not?
Well, I don't think Rob
would approve of me as a blonde.
How does he feel about
Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot?
Millie, I'll do it.
Why?
I had always been a big fan
of Nanette Fabray
who worked with Carl Reiner
and Sid Caesar
on The Show of Shows.
Twelve long glorious years
of marriage
Twelve years out the window.
And I loved her humor.
I loved the way she cried.
Who do you think you are, anyway?
And so when I was called upon
to bring forth the tears in my scene
I'm not sure how much of it was
out-and-out stolen from Miss Fabray.
We're dying it back
to its natural color.
Laura's been a blonde all afternoon.
And he wants to know why.
What happened?
And then I try to tell him.
Why?
Well, yesterday morning,
and I kissed you
and you said, "Don't do that"
and you came down to breakfast
in your yucky shirt and...
And that proved
that I could handle comedy.
And the gray hair.
It was just fascinating
to watch Mary Tyler Moore
just grasp it so quickly.
A housewife on a situation comedy
had never been given the opportunity
to do this kind of stuff.
And it was at that point that Carl
started writing show after show
and scene after scene
for me to be funny.
Mary and her being beautiful
and being funny
that combination was looked at
as being unfeminine.
I mean, Lucy was a rarity
but even Lucy had to resort
to much more
physical kind of stuff.
It wasn't thought of
as a feminine thing to do.
I was the voice of the audience.
I was the single voice of sanity
in amongst all these lunatics.
Ellen's got a disease.
Well, Ellen's got a temperature.
I wouldn't call it a disease.
Well, whatever she got,
I hope I get it too.
Mary was a combination to me
of a mother figure and a sister.
She would always take time
if she saw me struggling.
It was important to Mary
to have that connection
since I was playing her son
to me to be that child of hers.
And I think it did help her
through things.
She had Richie, her son
but she and her husband
had separated
so she had to make a living
and she did.
- Sally, you know the bit.
- I'll do it.
I need the chair and the hat.
Oh, your husband's awfully cute.
He must be a lot of fun to live with.
I laugh all day long.
Laura actually
had opinions of her own
and while she was asserting herself
she also didn't make Dick Van Dyke
look like a dummy.
Society's expectations
at that point still said
"Hey, wait a minute, lady,
you only go so far here."
I think we broke new ground
and that was helped by my insistence
on wearing pants.
I said, I've seen
all the other actresses
and they're always running the vacuum
in these little flowered frocks
with high heels on
and I don't do that
and I don't know any of my friends
who do that
so why don't we try
to make this real?
She brought her own style
into sitcoms.
She wore pants
which was the first time
on television a woman wore pants.
She brought that into the world.
The network was horrified
but Carl said
"No, this is what sells."
The network asked that
when she does wear these pants
make sure they don't cup under
so that you didn't see ass.
She wasn't someone at home
waiting for him
to solve all the problems
making dinner in high heels.
She was a contemporary woman.
Mary was very private
and very guarded
but she gave something out
and whether it
was not how she felt inside
but the way she
projected herself on screen
you just fell in love.
Women liked me.
They were not envious of the fact
that their husbands
had a crush on me.
It was okay with them.
When I would meet people
they'd say, my husband
loves you so much
and he thinks you're so sexy.
And this was an odd thing
because they were also able
to identify with me as a friend.
There was no resentment. No fear.
Mary, Mary Tyler Moore
I would run a mile or more
Just to get a smile or more from you
Mary, Mary Tyler Moore
You're the image
Of the lady next door
Polishing the furniture
Fussing in the cupboard
Looking so adorable
In your Mother Hubbard
Cooking in the oven
Chicken in the pot
- Mr. Kaye?
- Yes, ma'am?
Thanks a lot.
The winner in Hollywood
is Mary Tyler Moore.
Oh, thank you so very, very much.
I can't tell you how happy I am
and I wanna thank Dick
and Rosie and Maury
and Larry and Jerry
and Carl and Sheldon
for making me look good.
Thank you.
(Oh, that's great.)
Was that you sort of up there?
The sweet, giving
kindly-disposition woman
or are you really a wild mad swinger?
I think I fall somewhere in between.
I'm not sure just where.
But the disposition was a result
of the writing of Carl Reiner
and the attitude
was very often my own.
I always tried to make the character
as close to me
and my own reactions as possible.
Simply because it's easier
to sustain a character
week after week after week
if you do it that way.
Lucille Ball was our landlady.
She owned Desilu.
And we'd be rehearsing on the set
and then we'd hear a laugh
that wasn't coming from the floor.
We looked up and there she was
on the catwalk
and she'd be up there
watching us, just observing us.
And I will never forget
one day she came up to me
and she said, you're very good.
That was the greatest gift
I ever received.
Hi, this is Lucy.
For my money, one of
the brightest young talents
to have appeared
on the television horizons
in the last few years
is a vivacious
Emmy-award-winning brunette
from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Mary Tyler Moore.
- Hi, Mary.
- How are you, Lucy?
I'm very, very happy to see you today
and I mean sincerely what I said
about your being one of
the brightest young talents
I have ever seen in the industry.
I guess you're kind of aware
of my admiration for you
because through the years, I've sort
of sent wavelengths your way.
You are awfully kind.
I have been made aware of it
and I'm thrilled.
Believe me, I am.
Now then, about your husband.
You have
a very handsome husband, Mary.
- Oh, thank you.
- He is as handsome
as you are beautiful.
And you are beautiful,
inside and out.
- Thank you.
- How long have you been married?
Two years. A little over two years.
He's a wonderful person.
I had just separated
and was about to be divorced
from my first husband.
Grant was with the advertising agency
that then handled Procter and Gamble.
So he was a sometime visitor
to the set
although his office
was really in New York
and we were working in Los Angeles.
I came out here
to see them shoot the pilot
and met Mary on the set.
She was dynamite
and what was great about her
was that she wasn't actressy
she was a real person.
And I just fell in love with her.
There was definitely an attraction.
He asked me to have dinner.
It was in fact the same day
that it was announced
in the trade papers
that I had separated from my husband
and I said,
"Well, I don't think I should.
I think some time should elapse
before I begin to see people."
About a month later I was told
that I was expected to go
to New York on a publicity tour
and I found out that it was
maneuvered by Grant Tinker.
He is the one who said
"She needs to come to New York
to do some publicity"
which is where he was.
And it was love at first meeting.
And out of that meeting
came a relationship that grew
and by this time I was divorced
and ultimately
we were married.
It felt very, very special.
Not only were we alike
in many ways
and... attracted to each other
but there was this recognition
of drive that each had.
But how can a woman be wed
to two forces in life?
In other words...
you're only half-married
if you're in show business
because that demands
so much of your ego
so much of your investment,
of your energy.
I don't think so. I think I could
waste an awful lot more energy
sitting at home having nothing to do
other than just talk with the girls
about what gossip they've heard
or... just chase after the kids
instead of spending time with my son
because I know
we don't have as much time
as most parents and children have.
I make good use of that time.
I don't waste it.
Don't you think working mothers
whatever their jobs
sort of shortchange
their children emotionally
or even just physically?
They're not there enough of the time.
They're not together.
They're not relating.
Sometimes it happens,
but I don't let it happen that way.
I refuse to travel without...
I refuse to be separated
from my husband.
And I'm very blessed.
I'm very lucky in that I have been
able to work out a career
and still hold to this.
I knew that my
stepmother was famous.
I had little interest in that
but I really wanted to get
to know Mary
and I thought that she was
a very natural parent with me
and my siblings
and a little less so with Richie.
Is this too much?
I think there may have been
some tension
and some guilt on Mary's part.
She tried, but the vicissitudes
of that business
just require long hours
and long absences.
Rich had so little interest
about the business
and watching his mom
practice her craft
that there was a lot less time
spent together.
I know he liked spending
a lot of time with his dad.
They went fishing and hunting
and that was far more Richie's speed
than being in a studio.
When he came on set
I think he was so excited
to be around Mom.
I always loved when Richie was there.
Richie was able to bring out
the bad boy in me
running around the rafters,
running behind the scenes
sneaking a cigarette.
We were pretty devious
about what we were doing at the time
just being kids.
I'm deep just like a chasm
I've no enthusiasm
I'm bored when I'm adored
I'm blas!
That era was an unenlightened time
in which most women felt
that the only thing
they could do with their lives
was to serve their husbands
and children.
I still believe
in marriage and children
but also looking at yourself
and saying
hey, if I have something else
to contribute
I can figure out a way to do that
and I can figure out a way to get
my husband to help me do it
and my children to help me do it too.
Laura Petrie led a very dull life,
didn't she?
I think, looking back.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
I mean, she didn't really light up
until Rob walked in the door
and tripped over the ottoman.
- So she depended upon a man.
- Right.
And in parallel situation
in your life
you depended upon a man?
Yeah, except that I always
had the work too.
We're now off the air.
To all intents and purposes
we stopped shooting our show.
That little group of people
down there at our table
know how gratified I am to them.
You know, the first day
Carl said, "Five years is it.
If we go five years, that's all
because you get repetitive.
You get stale."
None of us really wanted to quit.
I've often been blamed
for taking the show off the air.
I had nothing to do with it.
In Hollywood,
the winner is Mary Tyler Moore.
Oh gosh.
Of course, I wanna thank the Academy
for giving me this great honor.
But I wanna also wanna take
this opportunity publicly
to thank everybody connected
with The Dick Van Dyke Show
for five of the happiest years
of my life.
There's never gonna be another
occasion like that again.
And this is gonna serve always
to be the most wonderful reminder
of that experience.
Thank you.
They turned down
incredible offers from the network
to continue the show.
Dick had done Mary Poppins
and was anxious to go on
and try other movies.
Carl was writing a Broadway play.
It was devastating to me
because it was the end of a family.
Van Dyke went off the air
and she of course thought
her life was over
because, you know,
what was she gonna do?
You said that you would have
no regrets
in leaving Dick Van Dyke Show
because you were sort of tired
of playing this goody-goody.
That you were always ordering
milkshakes in public
and now you could have
straight scotch.
Oh goodness. Now you see
now it probably took me
two and a half hours to say that
and they capsulized it down
to a point where I sounded
really terribly shocking and dismal
and kind of bitter about life.
I assure you I'm not.
And I assure you that I miss
every one of the people
on The Van Dyke Show. Desperately.
They became my good friends.
My only friends.
When she left the Van Dyke show
Universal Pictures gave her
a five-picture deal
and the unprecedented condition
that she had the right to refuse
what pictures she didn't want to do.
So that was a very powerful position
that she could never be in anything
she didn't feel was right for her.
Her first picture
was Thoroughly Modern Millie
where she played
a co-star with Julie Andrews.
So that was her entry into movies.
She wasn't a star
but she had a great part.
Well, I'm looking for life,
raw and real.
I'm going to be an actress
on the stage.
An actress? How exciting.
Yes, but I've got
to live a lot first.
You should do very well on the stage.
Pictures, too. You're very pretty.
After that film
she got an offer
to play Holly Golightly
in a musical version
of Breakfast at Tiffany's.
And it was everything
she ever dreamed of.
Mary always wanted
to be on Broadway
but Universal would not let her
out of her contract to do it.
And she said, "What if I give up
the right to approve
of the pictures I do
and you can put me in anything?"
And that was very attractive to them.
So they let her do the show.
I was the playwright's son.
I said,
"Can I work on the show?"
And he said, "Sure."
So I became the assistant
to the assistant stage manager.
It was not my dad's best work
but he had Mary Tyler Moore,
Richard Chamberlain
two of the biggest stars
in television
who would sell tickets.
We opened in Philadelphia
Infinitely sweeter.
A girl should have
In this world of men
A breakfast at Tiffany's now and then
To make her feel
There are solid things...
She was wonderful.
She had been a dancer before
so she had stage presence
and then the producer, David Merrick
decided that he was gonna
fire my father
and replace him with Edward Albee.
And I said to my dad,
"Can I book passage on the Titanic?"
We opened for previews on Broadway
and it was an utter disaster.
In the audience
you heard somebody say
"Why don't you write a better show?"
So Mary would come off in the wings
and she was weeping.
She was sad for a long time.
It was a bad experience.
It was a disaster. Just awful.
Everything fell apart.
Mr. Merrick, what went wrong?
Just not a very good show.
That sometimes happens on Broadway.
Truman Capote, who wrote
the original book of which
the musical was adapted
said he didn't like the score
and he didn't like the leading lady.
Well, I disagree with him on that.
I think the score was good
and I like the leading lady
very much
and I'm going with Mary Tyler Moore
and I'm going to try to find
another play for her.
Mary was the reason
that all of the New York press...
"Well, shows you
you can't take a television star..."
and she was brutalized.
That was a very difficult part
of my life then.
And on top of it
Universal could put her
in whatever pictures
they wanted her to be in.
So she played a couple
of meaningless roles.
It stars Mary Tyler Moore.
Well, don't just stand there.
Zip me up
while I put on my stockings.
That's the way you kiss your sister?
You gotta be kidding.
I'm a member of the Order
of Little Sisters of Mary.
She had gone from being
the most popular woman
in America to being a has-been
in three and a half, four years.
We came back to Los Angeles
with three tails between our legs
but it was about at that time
that I had a miscarriage.
And when I was in the hospital
for the routine procedures
that follow
they discovered that
while normal blood sugar levels
are to be somewhere
between 70 and 110
mine was 750.
And they were amazed
that I was still walking around.
And to this day, they don't know
which came first
the miscarriage or the diabetes.
I don't know
how I got through that year.
It shook me to my core.
Tonight, Dick Van Dyke
and the Other Woman...
Mary Tyler Moore.
We were doing these specials
for Dick Van Dyke, one a year
and I said to Dick
it's now four years since you
and Mary have been together.
I think it would be a great idea
to have a reunion show.
And also I think Mary could use it.
So we did a show
and in it we really featured Mary.
Normally that phrase...
the other woman
implies a relationship
between two people
which might be considered unsavory.
Yeah.
But of course, the relationship
between Mary and myself
is, of course, completely savory.
Completely.
Actually, when we were
doing the series
people thought we were married.
Oh boy. So much so
that I often had trouble
checking into a hotel
with my real wife, Margie.
And I had trouble
checking into a hotel
with my real husband, Grant.
And Margie and Grant
had trouble checking in anywhere.
If they could see me now
Those noble...
It gave me a wonderful opportunity
to sing and dance and clown
We've got
The situation firmly in hand
But we possess control
The wealth of the land
The show went on the air,
got huge ratings
great reviews,
very happy that we did it.
They suddenly rediscovered
Mary Tyler Moore.
CBS noted how successful it was
and they asked me
if I wanted to do my own show.
To which I said yes.
She called me
and she was screaming
into the phone and I said
stop screaming. What?
And of course she got her break.
It's like God took over.
For Mary to step off of that show
and into The Mary Tyler Moore Show
was really something.
She was scared,
but to be on a series of her own?
There wasn't any discussion.
She was just perfect for it.
My husband thought
that it would be wise
to form a company
that he could manage
and that I could use
as the foundation for a commitment.
It was 22 episodes.
It was Grant Tinker who hired
Jim Brooks along with Allan Burns
to produce
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Every male comedy writer of that time
had had a crush on Mary Tyler Moore.
She was our dream girl.
She represented
everything you wanted.
Her intelligence...
she gets it so quickly.
Hardly anybody
knows comedy like she does.
They and I had a meeting
and you know, I said
I think from my experience
on The Dick Van Dyke Show
that it's smart for me
to play somebody who's close
to my own persona.
And they agreed with that
and they said
well, we're thinking maybe
she works
in a small television station
and that she's looking to be married
but she's not desperate about it.
And I said, that sounds good too.
I like that
'cause that's kind of progressive.
We were two guys at an office
for a company
that hadn't happened yet
kicking around ideas
that I don't think there'd been
a divorced woman yet on television.
We went to CBS to pitch with Grant
maybe 20 executives,
the big boss there.
And we told him this idea
and they were polite
and they asked us
to step outta the room.
We found out later,
they told Grant to fire us.
They had three rules that couldn't
happen on a CBS show at the time...
Jews, somebody with a mustache
or a divorced woman.
They had to come
head-to-head with CBS
over the premise
that you will be divorced
and that you would be
moving to Minneapolis
for the first time
to start life afresh.
It was real, but it was not funny.
You couldn't make fun of divorce.
And not only that,
they said they think
you were divorced from Dick Van Dyke.
Just a career woman
was unusual then.
She was America's Sweetheart
so I think what we ended up doing
as the show allowed her
basically to be a contemporary
woman at a time
when contemporary women
were speaking out
being noticed
as they never were before.
This inhuman system
of exploitation will change
but only if we force it to change.
So the phone rings
and it's Jim and he said
what are you doing right now?
I said, I'm just about
to wash my hair.
And he said, no... no,
I mean in your life.
He said, because Mary Tyler Moore's
show got picked up
and you're the first writer
that I'm calling.
We would like you to write
as many as you want.
At that point, I was the only woman
writing alone in comedy writing.
We were writing what we believed in.
Jim and Allan believed in it enough
that they pushed things through.
This is somebody
who immediately was a soldier.
She was a star of a show.
It was her company, and yet
she was in the trenches with you.
So here I am in Minneapolis,
new life, new job.
Well, not a new job yet.
First, I had to go on an interview
at a local TV station.
I went to the first taping.
I thought it was very smart.
As they would say, it had legs.
The head of the news department
seemed interested in my experience.
How old are you?
Thirty.
No hedging?
No, "How old do I look?"
Why hedge?
- How old do I look?
- Thirty.
When we did the first attempted show
we made it under awful conditions.
An awful studio.
Not too many audience laughs.
Look, miss, just so you're not
the first person I get overtime...
The testing was not good.
The network hated it
but they had committed
to a season of shows.
They would've had to pay them.
...that don't have a thing to do
with my qualifications for this job.
And Mary was in tears.
Grant's statement
to the guys was fix it.
And the guys looked at each other
and said, what's wrong with it?
I'm in a fog, I'm destroyed.
I'm sitting at a desk just numb.
They trusted us and we bombed.
And then Marge Mullen
who was our script supervisor,
saved us.
Marge said, what if the kid, Beth
who was in the pilot,
said how much she liked Rhoda.
That and cutting the script
turned the bomb
into the pilot
that people talk about.
I was eight
when the first episode
came on and I hadn't
seen one where a woman
especially a single woman
without a man to depend on
was making her own way in life.
It seared into my brain.
Look, miss, would you try answering
the questions as I ask them?
Yes, Mr. Grant. I will.
But it does seem
that you've been asking
a lot of very personal questions
that don't have a thing to do
with my qualifications for this job.
There is no other show
like The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Her morphing
from Laura Petrie
into Mary Richards was
such a feminist statement
and one
that got into my bones.
Watching this incredible woman
who was strong and funny
and independent
then gets her own apartment
with the wooden M on the wall.
- So you are... Rhoda?
- Morganstern.
And I'm Mary Richards.
Hello. Get outta my apartment.
She had funny neighbors
like Rhoda and Phyllis.
Mary...
it's your duty as a woman
to take whatever you can get
whether you want it or not.
And a great group of people
with whom she worked.
I'd tell you to stop reading
over my shoulder
but you need
all the practice you can get.
- Hi.
- You're late, Mar.
It opened my eyes to wow,
I wanna do that too.
A beautiful romance
just blew up in her face.
It did not blow up.
I made the decision.
It wasn't just Mary Richards
who was this extraordinarily
single ambitious career woman.
She was surrounded by very strong
comedic female characters.
You're talking
about Midwestern love.
I'm talking about Bronx love.
There's a certain amount of guilt
that goes with that.
Part of being a successful artist
is being open to new ideas and input.
She was a big, big supporter
of what the pilot said about her.
She was on...
the side of risk-taking.
- Divorced?
- No.
- Never married?
- No.
Why?
Why?
Your type?
Mr. Grant,
there's no simple answer
to that question.
There had been some shows
about single women before
but as in the case
of the Marlo Thomas show
boy it was about getting married
and Jim and Allan
didn't wanna do that.
They wanted to show a woman
enjoying her life and her career
and meeting the challenges.
They each had a great backbone.
The character and Mary
had a great backbone that was real.
You know, that kind of substance
intrinsic dignity of being and
of other people's dignity of being.
So in a way you're describing class.
Mary... did,
did you just say goodbye?
That's what I thought you said.
Take... take care of yourself.
I think I just did.
You were kind of locked up.
I mean, I say locked up in that
that the image on the screen
in the series certainly
never matched the real Mary.
That's right. Right.
I was never single.
Mary Richards.
It is still Richards, isn't it?
Yes. It's... still Mary too.
So you've never been married, Mary?
No, Estelle, I haven't.
I've been married twice.
She liked it so much the first time.
I think you can look
at a show like ours
and... and look
at some of the relationships
and... say to yourself
after you've laughed
Son of a gun, that...
that happened to me once.
There's no way we can deal
with how humbling luck is.
They programmed us
in a death time slot
because whoever was in charge
of CBS then didn't like us.
Where we were in mourning
when we learned about it.
It meant they were eating us up.
They were just throwing away
the shows.
The president of the company
the businessman
he was promoted from head of sales
to head of the network.
First thing he did was all those
situation comedy shows
that had ruled the airways,
canceled lots of top-ten shows
and then he put
All in the Family on the air
and gave us the best time period
he had and saved us.
Hi, I'm Mary Tyler Moore
and I just want you to know
that starting this fall
Bob Newhart and I
will be back-to-back
every Saturday night on CBS.
Why do you fight it?
The world's changing.
They were on the same night
we were on
for All in the Family.
It was MASH and then Bob Newhart
and Mary Tyler Moore
and then Carol Barnett.
We had a great lineup.
You had to wait
until it was on, you know
and if you missed it, you missed it.
It was appointment TV for me.
I would lie on the floor
on my stomach
right in front of the TV.
My mother and I would watch
Mary Tyler Moore together.
Mary spoke to all of us.
Women could be independent,
could have careers
could stand on their own two feet
without a man.
I just remember it being part
of my routine on the weekends.
We had an audience right away
and we kept it.
And that was when everybody
stayed home and watched.
Grant Tinker used to say, you could
fly across the United States
jump out of a plane, and very likely
land on somebody watching your show.
If you transcend
all of the expectations
changes everything.
I'm sure her expectations of her life
changed after that
as did everyone else's
expectations of her.
- Get ready.
- Boy, I hate those meetings.
You never used to.
Yeah, well, it used to be
I felt like I'd be myself.
Now, I feel I represent women
everywhere.
Mary was so stellar
at being that center
that held everything together
and she always wanted
her folks to be proud.
They weren't effusive.
I've often wondered
how much
time was spent with Mary
in her mind with her folks.
Would you all like to meet
the producers of Mary Tyler Moore?
On February 14th, they're celebrating
their 50th anniversary.
So what's the secret of 50 years,
Mom and Dad?
Lots of love and respect
- and that's right.
- I go along with that.
Okay, why not? That's a smart way.
You probably remember seeing
this great cover on TV Guide.
Well, right now
right here on The Pet Set
we have this very star
as our very special guest.
I'd like you to meet Dis William.
Oh, and he brought a girl with him,
Mary Tyler Moore.
Hello there.
I noticed on the set of... of course,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
very prominently displayed on the set
is a picture of these two.
Is that for luck?
Yeah, it's for luck.
And also because the prop man said
do you have any pictures
of anybody in your family
you'd like to have on the show?
The set needs a little warming-up.
And I don't know why I brought in
pictures of the poodles
instead of my mother or father.
What happened?
Nothing, I just cut myself.
It's okay. It's just a tiny one.
- Let me look at it.
- No.
When you were a little girl
you wouldn't let me look
when you cut yourself.
I was always afraid
you'd stitch it up.
It was a scene
where her father tells her
how much he cares for her.
Mary just wanted to get it right.
You don't cry
when you cut your finger anymore?
No.
What does make you cry?
Oh, mostly dumb things.
And I remember being there.
I don't know that
that was very easy for her.
I keep a few in here.
That scene even then moved me
because when her folks
would come over
on the rare occasion for dinner
It was always a little
you're just waiting
for something to happen.
Something that would light the fuse.
Mary...
are you ever lonely?
No. Not too often, Daddy.
I have a good life.
I'm glad.
Because...
I'm sorry about your graduation.
Anything else I missed.
I love you, baby.
Well, it isn't always dumb things
that make me cry.
There. That...
that should be all right.
Careful how you handle knives.
Hey, Daddy?
You bandaged the wrong finger.
Why do you think it's such a winner,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show?
I think because of the casting...
primarily me.
No, no, but it really is
an extraordinary cast.
And I think because of the writing.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show hired
the most women of any show
and it changed
the language of television.
It was wonderful of Jim and Allan.
They really wanted to get it
from the horse's mouth.
It didn't seem like we were
having a eureka moment
when we said women would be good
to write on this show
about these women.
Totally logical thought pattern.
It was the right thing to do.
Jim said, I can write a lot of stuff.
I'm very seldom stumped
but you've got stuff in your purse
that I don't know anything about
and that's what I want you
to empty out for me.
I wanna know what women know.
I said I was the last person
to get a bra.
I love it. I'm not burning it
but I will make a contribution
to feminism
by having my own career
and being a feminist
but not by marching.
Women speak differently
and we have different ideas
and we have different stories.
I'm sure a man has never had to wear
a bad bridesmaid dress.
Mary.
Yeah?
Oh, it's bad, huh?
Well, come on out, kid.
How bad could it be?
That bad, huh?
I'd say... about the only thing
worse than this dress
would be this dress in purple.
Mary Tyler Moore was real.
And it was the way real women
talked to their parents
and their dates and their girlfriends
and Mary was the example.
A Chicago guy had written
an article saying
Mary doesn't have enough sex.
So I went in and I said,
I have a show where she can have sex.
- Rhoda.
- What?
Do you think I'm under-sexed?
I hope so.
Really, I'd like to think
this one thing
I'm better at than you are.
All those things we were learning
were okay to talk about
and to do at the same time
that the show did them.
But it changed the way
women saw themselves.
- Have a nice time, you two.
- You too, Mom.
Don't forget to take your pill.
- I won't.
- I won't.
It was a throwaway joke
and it was racy at the time
and it was huge.
I call it creeping smut.
I see it everywhere...
in bookstores,
in movies, in libraries
and now in television.
Look what happened on
The Mary Tyler Moore Show recently.
She went out on a date
and she stayed out all night.
All night?
Our little Mary?
You can sneer if you want, Maude,
but let me tell you this.
As Mary Tyler Moore goes,
so goes America.
I'm not sure if this fits.
Mary Tyler Moore
for television
represented
America at that moment
in that fresh release
from the ancient womanhood.
In a landmark ruling
the Supreme Court today
legalized abortions.
Murray, your marriage.
Mary, you know, I love Marie.
Marie is not Gloria Steinem.
Well, what's this Gloria Steinem
thing you have?
I mean, you take away
Gloria Steinem's super-intellect
and what do you got?
Never mind, bad example.
I was asked to speak
to Lady Bird Johnson's
conference of women
and it was a theater
holding 1200 people, all women.
And Gloria Steinem
spoke just before me
and derided
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
and that we were anti-feminist.
The question is
why does Mary Tyler Moore
still call Mr. Grant, Mr. Grant?
This comes up every once in a while
and it just... it just seems right.
We talked about doing a show.
Hell no.
And they booed me.
Just based on what seems right to us
about the character's behavior.
- Mr. Grant...
- Now it won't work
if you're calling me Mr. Grant.
Call me Lou.
Well, wait... would that be
just for the purpose
of this conversation?
Or... for, you know, all time?
I'll decide later.
Think you can, Mary?
Call you not Mr. Grant?
- Sure.
- Well, I'm glad it's okay.
Yes, it's okay to say it.
Really, Mary?
Really... Lou.
Call me Mr. Grant.
Thank you.
Was there some talk one time
about The Mary Tyler Moore Show
being anti-women's lib
or too pro-women's lib or...
Well, it depends
on where you're sitting.
I don't think it's anti at all.
I think there are two ladies
living by themselves
working very... as realistically
as you can get on a television...
But if viewers see it
in those terms sometimes.
Oh yeah, you see
what you feel, you know?
But do you ever find
yourself pandering
to the people who are your fans
so that you can keep them your fans?
- No, not at all.
- Any way?
See, there is
a perfectly logical explanation
- for what you heard.
- Oh really, Mary?
And what is it?
We were having an orgy.
If you wanna do a show
on network television
you have to
appeal to the whole country.
You had to
appease 40 million people.
Mary was what I like to call
a feminine feminist.
I know she didn't like
to call herself a feminist.
She didn't think feminism
was so hotsy-totsy.
There were women
that just didn't like it.
She identified with it up to a point.
She loved the spoils of femininity.
She loved the clothes
the hair and the makeup
and she loved to take that
and dress up how tough she was.
It was a good costume for her.
One day I said
you are a woman's libber.
You have your own show.
You have a child
and you were divorced.
You have set the standard
for a woman to be on her own.
She was aloof.
She was reserved.
She had an incredible veneer.
I only saw power from her.
I didn't see underneath.
Mary was either fully engaged
in the activity around her
and giving you her attention
or she was completely disengaged
virtually in thought all the time.
She always wanted to be better.
She always wanted to be different.
I just thought she was marvelous
and every time she would be insecure
and say, I'm so worried.
I mean I have to be really good.
The Sunday Show,
Mary Richards, producer!
Who was Mary, really, in real life?
She was insecure
about buying lipstick.
I usually look
so much better than this.
I have this image of Mary walking.
It's evident in
the main title of her show.
She looks proud and almost regal
and she wasn't that way at all.
It just was how she carried herself.
There's the actress Mary
who was the best civilian in charge
I've ever seen.
She was cold-blooded
in her way.
And there's the character Mary
who was an adorable doll.
There's not a great deal
of control in acting.
Did you have a lot of control
over MTM Enterprises?
No, I was never involved in that.
- It just bore your name?
- Yes.
MTM is Mary's company.
People don't realize that.
That's all, folks.
The portrait
that hangs in Mary's house
that was in my father's office.
It was always
clear who the boss was.
She was, of course, the figurehead.
But running the day-to-day
my father was always at his post,
as he would call it.
At that desk was the happiest
I'd ever seen him.
That was his business to run.
And she was fine with that.
If Grant had come to me
and asked my feelings
about something
or opinion of people or script
I would certainly give them.
While they may have talked about it
I don't know how much
he would've solicited her advice.
I think they had lanes
in which they both stayed
and it worked out well.
The lead actress of the year
in a series is...
Mary Tyler Moore.
I never saw Mary actively involved
in the business side of MTM
but there was no question
the company reflected
her sensibilities.
Mary was very instrumental
certainly in setting the tone on set.
Looking back, do you regret
that you didn't put
your own imprimatur on things?
No. You know, one can be guilty
about the things
one has never done in life.
I try not to do that.
Sure. That would be nice
were I an entrepreneur
and I had been involved
in that aspect of our business
but it has never interested me.
Nor has directing or producing
and I really love acting
and that's all I want to do.
MTM became a large company
with a lot of shows on the air
and a lot of different people
coming in.
That was the West Wing
of writing back then.
They had six sitcoms running.
The network would have a lot of notes
and then Grant wouldn't give 'em
to the writers.
And the one thing
we all had in common
was loving the ass off Grant Tinker.
We're grateful to our cast,
you know that.
We're grateful to Grant Tinker
for helping us
to always preserve
our creative freedom.
The winners are...
Ted Knight and Valerie Harper.
I do all my scenes with Mary,
and she's the best.
She's a winner
and she lets us all win Emmys.
I mean, it's incredible, truly.
Her modesty, her humility
her need to have people happy
around her
created the tent
that went over all of us.
And don't make a mistake.
No goody-two-shoes.
Mary wasn't goody-two-shoes.
Nothing got in the way of the work.
Thank you so very much.
I'd like to thank our two producers
Allan Burns and Jim Brooks
for choosing me
to be a member of the best damn
ensemble company
I've ever worked with.
I really am so proud to be
in that company
and I am so grateful.
Thank you very much.
Grant Tinker, our godfather.
Jay Sandrich.
Most of all, we have Mary.
Treva Silverman.
I was the first woman writing alone
to win an Emmy.
I didn't know what it would look like
from here. It looks terrific.
Marty Cohen, Susan Silver
wrote those words
and without them,
I'd just be another pretty face.
To be around that energy,
on the Radford lot in Studio City
I'd like to say
it was the best of times.
It was the best of times.
It was Camelot.
What I would like to say to actors
everywhere
May you have the pleasure
and joy of being with
and working with Mary Tyler Moore.
Thank you. Thank you all.
Mary, with all of the accolades
she's gotten, I think
she's a much better comedian
than anybody
ever gave her credit for.
Chuckles The Clown
was named by TV Guide
as the funniest single episode
in the history of television comedy.
It was about death.
Chuckles the Clown was just killed.
He was dressed as a peanut
and an elephant crushed him.
Stop trying to cheer me up, Lou.
And it was about how different
people react differently to death
and some people have to laugh it off
and Mary didn't think it was proper.
Why is everyone being
so callous about this?
Callous?
Well I'll have you know, dear,
that Chuckles and I were very close.
I made the first custard pie
he ever sat in.
Life's a lot like that.
From time to time we all fall down
and hurt our foo-foos.
She was just masterful
but she was also
incredibly inventive.
If only we could deal with it
as simply and bravely and honestly
as Mr. Fi-Fi-Fo.
And what did Chuckles ask in return?
Not much.
In his own words,
a little song, a little dance
a little seltzer down your pants.
There's a moment in Chuckles
where she's laughing
and then the minister talks to her
and he says, you young lady.
And she goes, and she looks around
hoping there's somebody
behind her that he's talking to.
Would you stand up, please?
Please. Please. Won't you?
You feel like laughing, don't you?
That kind of invention
only comes from someone
who has such a deeply rooted
sense of human behavior.
Go ahead, laugh out loud.
Don't you see? Nothing
would've made Chuckles happier.
He lived to make people laugh.
So go ahead. My dear.
Laugh for Chuckles.
Mary Richards
was Mary Tyler Moore inside out.
Everything that was inside Mary
was right there
in front of the camera
for people to enjoy
and admire and root for.
We have our very last show
coming up
on the filming schedule
in three weeks.
Yes. And this one's
gonna be a guest on it.
It was on our fifth year.
And they said, let's go out on top.
Let's go out on our sixth season.
And I said seven.
And they said okay.
Ted, you're staying.
And the rest of you guys
I'm gonna have to let go.
The last show was murder
because of all
the attention we had...
People writing about nothing else.
The world stopped.
She wanted to go out on top.
Thank you for being my family.
Each year we all would give
Christmas presents to each other.
You would think a lot
about what to get somebody.
And a lot of my friends
were reading a book
called How to Be
Your Own Best Friend.
I thought of Mary
has been a little way isolated
and so I bought that for her.
This was the beginning
of my getting to know the fragility.
And she said, oh, you lovely lady.
Somebody understands
that I'm not Mary Richards
that I'm not happy
all the damn time.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
It had been
a whole week of intermittent
bursting into sobs for everybody.
That moment of going back
and opening the door
and looking around
at the seven years that faced me
and that was about to go off,
was sublimely tough.
Ladies and gentlemen
for the last time, Mary Tyler Moore.
Thank you to the best cast ever.
Ed Asner.
Ted Knight.
Gavin MacLeod.
Betty White.
Georgia Engel.
Valerie Harper.
And Cloris Leachman.
Thank you.
You're not a perfect person.
Yes, I am.
Oh come now, Mary.
We know I'm not perfect.
You're not perfect.
Exactly.
You know, there's this...
there's this other side
and you've coped a lot
and I'd like to know
how you get through it.
What do you use
in order to get through
those very, very rough times?
You lost a sister.
She was 21.
She had been living
with a young man whom she loved
and he broke it off with her
and she couldn't handle that.
And so she drank
and she took barbiturates
and nobody is sure whether or not
that was a purposeful act
but she died that night
of an overdose.
What do you call upon to get you
through those kinds of times?
I don't know how to describe it.
Except to...
you know, to use the word...
survivor.
One who survives,
I believe in tomorrow.
I believe that things
that are painful...
will not be as painful in some time.
From Television City in Hollywood.
I want to be happy
How to be your own best friend.
I want to be happy
How to survive the '70s
and maybe even bump into happiness.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mary Tyler Moore.
I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too
What does friendship mean?
Trust and respect for intelligence.
A compatibility
It's almost like a marriage
without sex.
- Isn't it? Really? Yeah.
- Of sorts.
Enjoying the same things,
being able to fight and fight fairly.
Do you think
that's what ruins marriage?
- Sex?
- The sex. Yeah.
Actress Mary Tyler Moore
has filed for divorce
from her husband, Grant Tinker.
The two were married for 18 years
and together they created
and ran MTM Enterprises
the television company that gave us
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
What really started the process
of Mary Tyler Moore saying to herself
the time has come for me
to become an independent person
no longer attached to a husband?
- You moved back to New York City.
- Yes.
You said to me, New York City
was gonna provide me
with a new kind of life.
You divorced after some
17, 18 years of marriage.
Is it difficult to be on your own?
Oh yeah. It's very difficult.
Marriage relationships
or lover relationships
are destined to last
a certain amount of time.
Never think of that
as a failed marriage.
And it has nothing to do
with why a marriage ends.
Who wants it to end, who doesn't.
It's just completely alien to you
after that amount of time.
It's a big transition to make.
In my case, it coincided
with a change in career
and it may have looked
as though I calculated
ah, now I'm going to end
my marriage.
I'm going to do drama.
I'm going to move to New York.
And it truly didn't happen that way.
I knew she was in New York
because she was starring in a play
called Whose Life Is It Anyway?
which was diametrically different
from Mary Richards.
It was a drama with
a lot of sarcastic sardonic humor
of a woman fighting
for the right to die.
The phone rang and it was
Mary Tyler Moore
who said, I want to do that play.
The extraordinary part
was Mary Tyler Moore
was a major, major star
in this country
and she decided
to walk away from that.
And she came to the first
rehearsal fully memorized.
I didn't really leave television.
What happened then was
that I was offered the play
Whose Life is it Anyway?
And it was so beautifully written
and... had already been a success
with Tom Conti starring in it
that I wanted to try that.
Mary Tyler Moore replaced
Tom Conti who had won the Tony.
And it's a rare item
that somebody goes in after a star
and replicates the role.
I'm not quite sure what the impetus
for her doing that play was.
Everyone will take credit for it
because it was a unique moment
that hadn't been done before.
I suspect it was always her idea.
The truth is, I didn't think of it,
nor did the director.
We talked about it and she said
did I think it would work
with a woman playing the part?
And I thought, why wouldn't it?
And so Mary came to New York
and we started rehearsing.
She was ahead of the game.
Not only did she replace a man
who won the Tony
but this was one of the most
glamorous women in America.
And she decided to play
a woman that was paralyzed
and had a sheet covering her
in a hospital bed
for the entire evening.
You were so successful
for so many years.
It's just like people are waiting
for someone as successful
as you are to have a failure.
And they were... it seems true
that they were hoping maybe
you just retire from show business
but you didn't.
You went to the Broadway play
which was not an easy thing to do.
Oh, I, I don't have
such a jaded view of people.
It's that I think there are maybe
about 17 people
who hope you fall on your face,
but we tend to magnify that.
I don't think it's true.
I'm awfully glad I did that play.
She was extraordinary.
She got incredible reviews.
It was a terrific achievement for me.
It exonerated me from
Breakfast At Tiffany's
and again, it showed a rather
skeptical New York contingent
that there might be something
to television after all.
I went backstage to see her
and I told her
there was not one gesture
not one single thing that was
a Mary Richards kind of thing.
And she said, I'm so glad
because you're the first person
from the show who's been here.
And she said,
I was very, very intent
on not doing any Mary Richards.
Funnily enough,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
now mirrors my life.
When I was filming that show
I was married, I was born married.
I'd never had the single experience,
you know?
And... the last three years
I've been on my own
and now living almost every one
of the episodes that we filmed
all those situations, I can now say
oh, now I really understand
what was happening.
I decided to stay in New York
and try to capture my life
for myself.
Here she was, 40, seeing what life
for an adorable single person
was like
and she loved what it was like.
The only way I could say it
is that she was more like Rhoda.
It was wonderful.
Adolescence. I think
that's what I'm going through now.
And I think that's a positive term
as opposed to a negative one.
And I think it will make me
a better actress.
I dated, I made friends.
I had a little apartment.
I did my own shopping.
I sort of played house,
but in real life.
New Yorkers are really very friendly.
I get truck drivers and cabbies...
hey Mar, it's good to see you.
Love the show.
You're in it in humanity
and all kinds of people
not just one class of people.
Because Grant
was so much a part of my life
I felt no need for friends
except those people
with whom I was working.
But now I have many friends.
Her humor didn't come out
so much in LA, but in New York
she was loose and free and funny
which was adorable.
Everybody wanted
to take out Mary Tyler Moore.
Are you dating?
Oh, I hate that word.
I see people.
I go out to dinner with people.
I travel with people
and I consider them my friends.
We had a relationship
while the show was going on.
We were helping each other.
I was trying to make her
really good in the play.
There was a part of Mary
which was absolutely
delightful and very funny.
But then there was
another part of her
which was nervous as a person
Who is wondering
if they've made the right choice.
Good evening, and welcome
to the 34th annual presentation
of the Tony Awards.
The ultimate test for a performer
is the naked stage.
It takes courage for someone
who's made a successful career
in another medium to chance this.
So when someone does take
a chance and brings it off...
she, in this case she,
wins our respect.
The people who administer
the Tony Awards
have this year, in their wisdom
decided to give a special award
to Mary Tyler Moore.
(Thank you.)
This... will symbolize for me forever
the absolute joy
in creative risk-taking.
It's the essence of live theater
and I am so very proud to be now
a part of that community.
My deepest thanks
to Manny Azenberg for inviting me
and to all of you
for this very warm welcome.
I love the neighborhood.
Thank you.
At one point, Mary wanted
an exclusive relationship
but then she said
but I don't know what I mean.
It wasn't like she wanted
to get married again.
There was the issue
which was an occasional issue then,
of Mary's drinking.
One vodka on the rocks at dinner,
she'd be great.
Two vodkas on the rocks, same.
But usually if she had
a third cocktail and some wine
she got slightly belligerent.
She'd lose concentration.
And so whatever conversation
you were having
might take a wrong turn.
I found myself not going out
after five o'clock
and making sure that
everything was set up for me
near the phone
that was near the television
and that I had my blender
full of drinks
that I was concocting
in an attempt to do something
worthwhile in the kitchen.
It was a pretty sad lady
that was emerging.
I saw this movie, Ordinary People.
What a... it's a killer.
- It's just terrific.
- Thank you very much.
Did you have to wait in line?
I waited in line for about an hour.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't do that.
Who had the foresight to say,
she'd be great?
Bob Redford... told me
that when he had first read the book
in galley form
four years before
he had envisioned me
as the mother before he knew
he was gonna buy the property
and make a movie.
And he said also that
he had always been fascinated
by what might be the dark side
of Mary Tyler Moore.
Because in most everything I've done
it's been sunny
and open and optimistic.
And he knew, that little devil
that there... there was a lot
of other stuff happening.
I had a place in Malibu.
I was sitting there just
looking out the ocean
and suddenly this woman walked by.
What it looked like to me
was that she was sad.
I said, oh, that's Mary Tyler Moore.
And we had always seen
Mary Tyler Moore
as this happy-go-lucky,
upbeat, wonderful
wonderful character
was full of joy and innocence.
In the film, Beth's barrenness
of emotion derives the fact
that she lost
her son Buck in an accident
And that she can't deal
with the surviving son
because of what this has done to her.
Do it. Calvin.
Just a second, smile.
- Calvin, give me the camera.
- No, I didn't get it yet, Beth.
- Come on, Give me the camera.
- Dad, give her the camera.
That was such a change of pace
that a woman
could be so brittle inside
that she could alienate her son.
I saw her as a victim.
What do you think?
Very nice.
I saw her as very reminiscent
of my own life.
If it's starting all over again,
the lying, the covering-up
the disappearing for hours,
I will not stand for it.
I can't stand it. I really can't.
Well, don't, then. Go to Europe!
When I saw her
in Ordinary People
I thought that's
more like who she is.
She didn't wanna talk about
things that were uncomfortable.
I'd seen some of that in Mary
in her more serious moments
with my father.
I'd seen that pensiveness,
the hand-wringing.
You drink too much
at parties, Calvin.
I'd seen anger, hurt, confusion
the inability to connect with Rich.
I'd seen flashes of that.
You were loved and adored
as Mary Richards
who was anything but what Beth is.
And now you're loved and adored
because you're just... kind of
a nas... not a nasty person...
I don't know if I'm loved and adored.
In times past, people
would come up to me in the street
and say, hey Mar, how are you?
Now they're going, hi.
In 1980, in a grim instance
of life mirroring art...
you faced
a new torment, did you not
that echoed the death
of that son in Ordinary People?
The son of television star
Mary Tyler Moore is dead.
The coroner is still doing tests
to determine
if 24-year-old Richard Meeker
deliberately shot himself.
He died in...
an accident with a gun.
The reports
that it had been a suicide
would further cause anguish.
And it just was so unfair.
There was no doubt in my mind
from the very beginning
that that was an accident.
I knew Rich,
I knew he could be careless.
He loved life too much.
He was a really lovable goof.
He explored. He loved people.
He had a huge heart.
Yet he had a side of him that
was just a little accident-prone.
He had a gun collection.
He was lying on his bed
and he was fooling with one of them.
When I viewed that movie
I thought Richie had already died
when she played that role.
And then it turned out
that life imitated art, sadly.
Richie died three weeks after
the premiere of Ordinary People.
So the Oscar nomination
for Best Actress that followed
was bittersweet.
...for her role as a mother
unable and unwilling
to bend her own
self-imposed restrictions
on the meaning of love and life.
Ms. Mary Tyler Moore
in Ordinary People.
Ladies and gentlemen
of the Academy
your choice is
Miss Sissy Spacek.
When Richie died
that really changed her.
She was like
really searching herself.
That had an effect on her
that lasted.
There are people
who have the same experience
and then they stop living.
They don't know how to go on.
They don't know how to cope
and they don't know
how to make the next step.
Yeah, well, he would've hated that.
He would not have wanted
that to happen.
I'm still angry.
I haven't quite reconciled it.
I don't have
a religious belief that...
I can rely on that says,
well, we are here on earth
to put... to prove ourselves
worthy of heaven.
So I have anger
and I'm working through that.
In her high school yearbook
Mary wrote, the world is ready
to welcome talent
with open arms.
It was through talent
that she could gain acceptance.
She understood that talent
was the thing that
was going to be her life
was going to save her life
and was going to gain
the attention that she craved.
I wouldn't call her reserved.
She was determined.
Just because you have
a smile on your face
doesn't mean you're not ready
to go to battle.
The full story of Mary
was both the fighter
and the person
so willing to offer a smile.
How she and Robert met
was out of a fairy tale.
Her mom and her dad and Mary
had gone to Rome.
She got an audience with the Pope.
My mom and dad and I were
coming back from Europe
and the plane landed in New York.
Mother was very ill
with a bronchial infection.
So I called my doctor
and it was Rosh Hoshannah.
He was at temple.
But there was a Dr. Levine
who, for whatever
his own personal reasons
was not at temple.
I was the only Jewish doctor working.
I really didn't know who Mary was.
So we took her over
to Mount Sinai Hospital
and while he gave her the once-over
I did the same to him and...
and thought, well now we...
Mary!
Exactly! My very words, Sarah. Mary!
Because I was a few years
older than he
and... well probably still am.
I went to her apartment
a couple days later
just to examine her mom.
Her mom was doing well.
So I said, you're clear
to go back to Los Angeles.
Mary then said, you know, Dr. Levine
I haven't been feeling
that well, either.
Could you listen to my chest?
As I was leaving, I said to Mary
if anything comes up,
just give me a call.
So Mary said
is acute loneliness
a good enough reason to call?
And I said, I can't think
of a better reason
to be awakened at 3.00am.
She called me on the phone
at two in the morning
and she said, I have just met
the most wonderful man.
I said, it's two o'clock
in the morning.
She said, he's just wonderful.
He's young.
And I said, so?
So a few days later,
at 3.00am she did call me
and she said to me, do you cook?
And I lied and said no.
And so she said, well, I guess
we'll have to go out to dinner.
The minute he came into Mary's life
she fell in love
for the first time in her life.
I wasn't well-equipped
to have a first date
with someone like Mary
because I wasn't a person
who dated at all.
I didn't have any moves, if you will.
I had no game.
I think that was what Mary
may have liked about me.
Welcome to Malibu East
here in Quehog.
- Beautiful.
- That's my mom.
- Beautiful downtown Quehog.
- Are you good, Pam?
Yeah. Now taking picture...
Now taking picture of this is Robert.
Hello.
So Mary was 18 years older than me.
I was an old man
by the time I met her.
And she was still a young woman.
Robert is a very old soul.
And I'm probably the baby.
I'm the brat of the relationship.
But that's really not true.
That's a joke.
The truth is that
I have always depended on
an older, stronger influence
in my life
whether it was husband or father.
And there came a time in my life
coincidentally just when I met Robert
and the magic was there
that I was ready to be my own person.
So with Robert, it was an opportunity
to say, okay,
now this is truly equal.
You got nothing to fear here
'cause look how much younger
he is than you.
You have the experience, now.
It always appears
that I've been vitally independent
but not truly in my private life.
I was very much a person
who liked being directed and led.
Does Mary Tyler Moore
wanna get married again?
I don't think so.
No. I don't see any need for that.
We're doing
this roast for Mary Tyler Moore
because soon
she'll be Mary Tyler Levine.
You're sure?
- Yes, I am.
- Oh, okay.
So who will start? Betty?
Betty White will now start
with the roast potatoes.
It's not a roast, it isn't.
It's a, it's a paean
of, of gratitude.
It's a, it's a thing
that we should all...
We all wanna to,
but we don't know how?
No, we don't have to pretend,
darling. We love you very much.
And as far as I'm concerned
I have answered so many questions
about my career
about how do I realize
how much Mary did for my career?
- Oh Christ.
- And I say, yes, I do!
- I didn't mean that.
- But what? No, no.
I'm so glad we have holes in this.
I wouldn't know where to put my arms.
Or my boobs...
If there is any way
I could possibly help you
in any kind of advice
you'd like or any kind of...
You just don't call her...
That was so perfect.
She never drinks.
And it's Marge,
don't you have something to say?
Marge, Marge, don't you have
something to say?
Just a little something
to your daughter.
- Come on, Mom.
- Come on, Mom.
Stand up here and say something
and be really good.
Be the best you've ever been.
Roses red, violets are bluish.
You once were
a Mick and now you're Jewish.
Cut. Stop.
He is one of those rare doctors
who truly cares about patients.
He sometimes can't go to sleep
without them
but not often.
And that's to his benefit to that...
He's not a crazy person.
He can go to sleep
and wake up in the morning.
Oh shit.
Anyway, I think you'd all like him.
Now go away.
And one of America's favorites
had a wedding last night.
Mary Tyler Moore
married Robert Levine.
He's a doctor.
The wedding
was at a Fifth Avenue Hotel
with 250 of their friends.
Was it unlikely? Probably.
Was it unexpected? Absolutely.
But I went to the wedding.
I remember saying to her
well, you finally achieved
what every New York Jew
or Catholic mother wanted.
You married a doctor.
Their wedding was wonderful.
I was her matron of honor.
It was great.
So she had a priest
and he had a rabbi.
Mary's father was
the most gentile person.
He could walk past
the synagogue and neutralize it.
It would become a Unitarian church.
He was standing half under
the chuppah and half out.
He was afraid that
if he got under that thing
something was gonna happen to him.
We rehearsed how we would address
the first dance together.
And she didn't want to lead
but she knew that if I didn't step up
that's what was gonna happen.
So I had to figure out
how to take control.
But after that it all devolved
into a very special party.
I made the blessing
all the bread with a full heart.
They were an odd couple.
She married a regular person
but she was devoted to him
and he was devoted to her.
You can't ask for anything else.
He got up at twelve or one
in the morning
and made a tuna fish sandwich.
Not for him and me, but for me.
And it was the most loving thing
that anybody had ever done for me
before in my life.
I'd been given jewels
that were given a lot of things
that... we all think
are obviously of value.
But for me, the most thing
that was of value
was that tuna fish sandwich
That was for nothing
from someone gave it only to me.
Loving Mary was easy.
She opened the door
to something about me
that I thought was shut forever.
Today I have this feeling
that I could put my arms around you
and I could touch you
and that you would respond.
But many years ago when we first met
I think I would be scared to death
to touch Mary Tyler Moore...
- of me?
- ...for total fear
that I would really be
rebuffed by you.
There was such... a coolness.
- I know, yeah.
- Such an aloofness Mary
and I see,
I don't see that Mary, now.
- What happened?
- I don't know.
I can't explain it, I,
maybe it's just growth.
Maybe it's analysis.
Maybe it's finally saying
all right, I'll let myself show
with all my flaws.
It's not the end of the world
if I'm not perfect.
And... you know,
it was that misguided thinking.
I'm sure that kept the,
the shield around me that called
that caused people to call me
the... the ice princess.
I mean, I was never cold to people
but I never really,
confided in people
and I never...
shared any of the, the ugly sides
or those things
that I thought were ugly.
And now I will do that.
Boy.
Hello.
It's Mrs. Ford, the president's wife.
The big turning point
of my life happened
after spending a year
with my husband Robert
who is... a very tender dear
and very wise person.
I was able to see myself
and what I was doing
without realizing it
how I was living in the fast lane
and how it just seemed to me
I had to live in the fast lane.
And so came that time
when I began to look at myself
and what I was doing and I changed.
Hello?
Hello, Mary.
This is Betty Ford.
She had had Betty Ford
on her show.
She knew of Mrs. Ford's
treatment of people with
her difficulty with alcohol
and the Betty Ford Center
in California.
Hi, Betty.
This is Mary, Queen of Scott's.
Liza Minelli had just been there
and Elizabeth Taylor
had just been there.
And I called Betty Ford Center
and I made my appointment
and they took me the very next day.
And Robert, he said
goodbye to me at the jetway.
But the confidence of having
just been hugged and kissed by him
and the two Bloody Marys
that I had on the plane
got me there and began
the grand process of chipping away
and chiseling down to the real me
or the blob that was me.
That was going to become a person.
With the help of some counselors
and a lot of group therapy sessions
I was able to examine myself
In the way I handled my life
and the way I handled problems.
And I allowed myself to be imperfect.
It was at that point that we started
looking at the country house
and looking at gardening
and, and horses
and, and stuff like that.
It's nice, isn't it, Linus?
Yes, Winny and Sundance.
Shut up, Dash.
You better get used to it, Dash
they're part of the family now.
All right, so here we are
coming out of the barn
and this is the new arena
that eventually will have...
a ring in it.
A ring?
You know, for
the horses to ride.
It has a ring in it.
Around the edge.
Look through the visor.
Well, I can't really
look through the visor
because then
it makes it too bumpy.
Shut up, Robert!
And that's a...
Did you have to, John?
I went to see her in Millbrook.
It was nice to
see her in a bucolic setting.
Nothing to do but beautiful.
It's very sweet.
Mary Tyler Moore
is the one we're talking about today.
She occupies
her own very unique place
in the hearts of television
viewers coast to coast.
But at home, her five horses
and her two dogs
don't seem to know that she's one
of the great comedians
of American television.
They do know, however, they occupy
a special place in her heart.
When she needs to take a break
from whatever she's doing
be it a play or movie or TV show
or charitable endeavor.
Self-styled workhorse
Mary Tyler Moore works with horses.
Her Palomino pal is named John
and the Philly who's feeling
her oats is Laughing Lucy.
This handsome albino
is Mary's pride and joy
in part because she's known him
since the beginning.
John was born in Mary's stable
just about a year ago.
Your book ends so beautifully
with a metaphor inspired
by a blue-eyed albino foal.
What is the foal's name?
John.
- What was your brother's name?
- John.
Mary was largely
alienated from her brother
until a number of years
after we had met and married.
I think she was sorry
that she missed the years
that she missed of having a family.
My brother John,
he developed kidney cancer
and he died holding my hand.
Last picture.
He saw pictures of Mary
taken by the Chuppah.
- To Mary.
- Yeah.
- I love you.
- Ah, that's good.
John is...
almost five months old now
and looking
very much like a camel.
Very much like a camel.
Here you go, baby.
Look how tall he is,
see, he's right up to my face
which is not
looking terribly great
'cause I don't have
any makeup on. All right?
Normally I'm so
much cuter than this.
But anyway, John.
Hi, don't I
look so much cuter today?
No, really? Seriously.
Look at my face.
See, have eye
makeup on, my hair.
Properly dressed.
Is that I...
Oh no, Dash is getting dizzy.
So, Dash,
you wanna get this ball?
Okay watch it now.
Track it good.
Look him, look at him go.
An almost mid-air catch!
The public, did they expect
too much of you, Mary Tyler Moore?
I've never felt that...
I was restricted.
And I, as you know,
I've made a lot of changes.
She wanted to leave
Mary Richards forever behind.
And so it was challenging
sometimes to find new roles.
I want you to see something.
- Very nice girl.
- For God's sake.
I want you to consider my age
and ask yourself how I maintain this.
Mom, why are you doing this?
- How? I don't know how.
- This is it, all right?
I couldn't have a baby
but I had to fight
the laws of gravity just the same.
And you need the help of a good bra.
And believe you me, you wanna keep
your husband's attention
you'll get one pronto.
I know that you've been very active
in the fight
against juvenile diabetes.
Right, looking for the cure.
You're the international chairman,
are you not?
Yes, of the Juvenile
Diabetes Foundation.
And I believe that your husband,
Dr. Robert Levine is active too.
- Is he not?
- Yes, he is indeed.
- Say hello.
- Please stand up.
With the Juvenile Diabetes
Research Foundation.
It really was a chance for her
to be back in the ensemble
to be part of a movement
because the status quo
was not acceptable.
You know, the lives
that children were living
in those days were shortened.
She went to Washington
to talk about juvenile diabetes.
She raised a lot of money.
She moved progress forward.
...but we cannot lose momentum.
Not now that we are so close.
So I ask you, Mr. Chairman,
members of the committee
look around once more.
Listen to the voices of the children
who will tell you
their stories today.
And when you retire
to your deliberations
promise to remember them.
Mary helped them raise
close to $2 billion.
Hope that very much
depends on actions
you, your colleagues, and
the administration choose to take.
From the moment you decided
that this is what I wanted to be.
I wanna be a dancer.
I wanna be an actress.
Were you ever rebuffed
we ever turned down?
- I mean...
- I'll tell you this.
I will go to my grave thinking
of myself as a failed dancer
not a successful actress.
It's all a fake. And someday
they'll see it, it'll all go away.
Now this fake
was in a show that won
numerous Emmy awards.
This fake and Dick Van Dyke
won best acting awards in 1964, 1965.
And this fake won
the 1965 Golden Globe Award
as female TV personality of the year.
This is Mama.
Here's Mama.
Mary was always strong-willed.
She never gave that strong will up.
She was very secure in those
last years when Robert was around.
As for what the diabetes caused her
I firmly believe without question
Mary Tyler Moore
lived ten years longer
than she would've lived
without the care of Robert.
Being that person for Mary
that loving protector
included making
tuna fish sandwiches for her
in the middle of the night
or getting up and getting her
a glass of orange juice
when her blood sugar dropped too low
whatever it took...
We saw Mary Tyler Moore
fight her way back
from the edge of death so many times
that she should have been gone.
She had been
in the hospital three weeks.
Robert was always there,
but the man would get exhausted.
So he would go home at night
and I'd sit
in the hospital room with Mary.
I'd read the Bible to her.
I'd talk about
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
and I do remember
that she leaned back
and said it feels great to remember.
When she was dying
in the hospital.
I'd crawl into bed with her
and just held hands.
I couldn't stand
that she was gonna die.
It's a horrible disease.
Hi, sweetie.
I just had a low blood sugar
and I think we've we're on the way
to correcting it anyway
with some orange juice and cookies.
So give me a call
when you can. Bye-bye.
We begin with breaking news.
Actress Mary Tyler Moore
has passed away.
It is the loss
of a true legend in Hollywood.
She was a television icon
for a generation.
Mary Tyler Moore could turn
the world on with her smile.
Her series,
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
helped usher in a new era
for women on television.
The actress died Wednesday
with her husband
and friends at her side.
She was 80.
She was something special.
There was no one like Mary.
She was steel. And I miss her.
I will always miss her.
She was just my best friend ever.
Her work as a comedian
was unparalleled.
It's like a warrior, someone
that gets through it all.
Mary tapped into something
that is universal.
Mary's was a life
that need not end
with her passing.
It's how we hold onto her
and what she did
and why and how we carry it forward
that gives her life
even greater meaning.
She was a wonderful symbol
to womanhood
to the movement
as everybody said.
But she doesn't do anything
for the movement.
She did everything for the movement.
You had no idea
what you meant to me.
There are those of us
who we only had the television
for inspiration.
And you were one of those women
who was a light.
I think Mary's legacy
is that she's fundamentally
shifted in our culture
how we perceive women
in entertainment.
Period. End of story.
Her ideas weren't just siloed
to a character she played
on a television show.
Women like Mary Tyler Moore
cut a path
that I'm standing in right now.
For all of her positive
and radiant energy
she was no stranger
to adversity and challenge.
She surmounted those things.
She continued.
I think
she was meant to spark fire
with a very delicate match.
It impacted
many people that followed.
Those women weren't just white
and they may not
just have been women.
Why did I like Mary Tyler Moore?
'Cause I'm American
and I'm not a stone.
Because between her
and Jackie Kennedy
they shaped this country
between all of her portrayals
between Laura Petrie
and Mary Richards
it's what shaped Americans'
whole taste level.
I think the real answer
to who Mary has inspired is
as many women as Eleanor Roosevelt.
Knowing her, she deserves it.
You know what?
You got spunk.
Well...
I hate spunk.
I loved her. And she knew it.
How much Mary Tyler Moore
exists in Mary Richards?
- Oh, a lot.
- A lot.
- Oh, a lot.
- What of you is in her?
My good nature, my earnestness
and my belief in a happy ending.
I treasure you people.
Lou.
I think my favorite memory of her
is how dear she was
when we wrote the last show.
We had everybody
saying their farewells on the show.
I think we all need some Kleenex.
There's some on Mary's desk.
We've forgotten her.
She was the only one
we didn't give a goodbye to.
And her coming to the office
for the first time
to ask for something in the script
after seven years.
Mr. Grant
could I say
what I wanted to say, now?
Please?
Okay, Mary.
And that she was shy
and uncertain about it.
It just killed her.
And she had built the studio.
Well I just wanted you to know
that sometimes I get concerned
about being a career woman.
I get to thinking my job
is too important to me.
And I tell myself
that the people I work with
are just the people I work with
and not my family.
And last night I thought
what is a family, anyway?
They're just people
who make you feel less alone
and really loved.
And that's what you've done for me.
It's hard to look at
what others might call
our love story
from arm's length.
All I know is I carry her always.
I'm walking literally
in wall to wall shit.
Okay, we're
gonna stop now, honey.
Okay.
Say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Bye for now.
Translator: IYUNO