Bend It Like Beckham (2002) Movie Script
And David Beckham gets the ball
yet again for Manchester United.
He's really taking responsibility
every time they have possession
and this is really a reflection of the way
he's been playing and captaining England.
Seems to have matured so much as a player
and he's dominating proceedings here,
but...hoping perhaps to get
a bit more support
as he gathers the ball on this
right-hand touchline time after time.
And the Old Trafford crowd warming now
to the way Beckham is taking over.
But there's a big question mark
here against United,
because where is
the goal gonna come from
- to break down Anderlecht?
- United!
Will it be Scholes?
Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?
Would it indeed be Beckham himself
who breaks through?
Anderlecht are playing
a very controlled game.
This is Radzinski for them,
testing the United defence,
and Silvestre here at left back,
possibly with a chance to
break forward now on the other flank.
And there's the ball
that Beckham really wants.
That looked like a body check there,
but he's shrugged off the defender.
Still Beckham, plenty in the middle.
lt's a decent cross, and there is Bhamra.
That's a fine header,
and she's scored!
lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!
A superb header here,
beating the defender
and planting the ball beyond
the goalkeeper's left hand.
Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself
at Old Trafford!
And have we discovered
a new star here, Gary Lineker?
That's right, John. Could Bhamra be
the answer to ngland's prayers? Alan?
There's no denying the talent.
Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball,
vision and awareness -
absolutely magnificent.
l tell you what,
l wish she was playing for Scotland!
John, have ngland found the player
to relive their World Cup glory from '66 ?
Definitely, Gary, we've finally found
the missing piece of the jigsaw
and the best thing is,
she's not reached her peak yet.
O. Thanks, John.
Well, we're joined in the studio now
by Jess's mother, Mrs Bhamra.
Mrs Bhamra, you must be
very proud of your daughter.
Not at all!
She shouldn't be running around with men,
showing her bare legs to 70,000 people!
She's bringing shame on the family
and you three shouldn't encourage her!
Jesminder, you get back home now!
Jesminder, are you listening to me?
Jesminder, have you gone mad?
- Mum!
- Football, shootball!
Your sister's getting engaged
and you're watching this skinhead boy!
Mum, it's Beckham's corner!
ey, come downstairs.
Your sister's going crazy.
Mum, l can't hang around all day!
l've gotta go!
Mum, where are my keys?
l can't find them anywhere!
Sick of this wedding
and it hasn't even started.
Mum, can you hurry up?!
She'll probably ruin it for me!
That girl is a first-class bitch!
Pinky, you've got so many others!
Yeah, but it was all planned.
Now l gotta get another one!
- Will you get a move on?!
- What the hell's going on?
Get this, yeah?
Teet's bloody sister says
she's wearing baby pink now.
Stupid cow.
l had matching accessories and everything!
Oh, Mum, do l have to go shopping again?
My mother chose
all my 21 dowry suits herself.
l never once complained.
You girls are too spoilt!
Don't forget my dhania,
four bunches for a pound.
And more carrots. l'm making achar.
Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!
Am l asking you two to make it?!
- i, Pinky!
- You all right?
Yeah. What you doin' 'ere, man?
You haven't left everything
to the last minute?
One more day of freedom!
- Where d'you get your contacts?
- Do you like 'em?
Just thought they went with my hair, innit?
My fianc don't like dyed hair.
Still, can't stand here chatting all day.
l gotta go to aling for my facial. Laters!
- Bye, Pink.
- Laters.
Stupid bitch!
Why did she have to get blue contacts?
Now I can't wear mine, can I?
You're mad.
l wouldn't be seen dead in that!
They're all the rage, poppet.
You blow 'em up, just like a Lilo.
Look, this little pump comes free with it.
Pop it in there, in the valve.
Pump, pump, pump away, up it goes.
Then...slip it back in there...
..boom boom!
Cleavage.
And they're perfect
while you're still growing
- cos they lift you right there.
- Mum!
- God, you're so embarrassing!
- They make more of what you've got.
All the girls have bought one
for their daughters.
Well... Well, look, there's the Fleur.
That's pretty. Mm?
And the gel bra, that's a clever one.
No pumping. lt's already in there.
Oh no, sweetheart,
not the sports bras.
They're so plain. They don't enhance.
Well, no one's gonna see them.
No, but it's not how they look,
it's how they make you feel. m?
l really like that lace Lycra one.
Uh-oh, there's your mate.
Let's make this quick, yeah?
I hope his mum wears a cardy
over her three stomachs tomorrow!
- Shut up, she's old.
- So?
All right, Jess? iya, Pinky.
May you have a long life, my daughters!
- verything getting ready for tomorrow?
- Yes, Massiji. Mum's making the samosas.
May God keep you and your husband
in endless happiness!
And pray for me,
that l get a lovely daughter-in-law like you
for my ony.
Mum!
Aww, thank you, Massiji!
O, bye, yeah?
- ow was biology?
- Did you do the genetics one?
The daughter was a carrier
and when she married
she passed the defective gene to her son.
Yeah, l got that, too.
l hope l get my two As and a B for uni.
Come on, Jess.
- You going to the park later?
- l'll try.
Mum!
l've found it!
Come on, Jess.
'Scuse me. That suit...
- Come on, mate.
- Over here.
There you go! Over here!
Rubbish! Come on, boys!
You're such an idiot, man!
- Jess! Fancy a quick game?
- l can't. My mum's waiting.
- And my dad's on earlies at eathrow.
- Come on, we really need ya.
Come on!
Who does she think she is?
Beckham or what?
Can we chest it like him?
- You know, give it some bounce!
- Chest it, Jess, go on. Chest it!
Did that hurt, pretty boy?
l nearly scored from 25 yards today.
Bent it and everything.
l could have carried on playing all night.
It's not fair, the boys never
have to come home and help.
Wonder if l had an arranged marriage,
would l get someone who'd let me
play football whenever l wanted?
- Who were you talking to?
- No one, Dad.
O, Biji and her grandson are coming
and staying in here for the wedding.
Why don't you put some nice picture
of beautiful sceneries
- instead of this bald man?
- Dad!
I'm going to change.
Come and help me outside, O?
O.
..a beautiful Rolls-Royce, you know?
l'll get one for your wedding, too,
if you like.
l just want a little bit.
lt will be your turn soon, uh?
Do you want a clean-shaven boy
like your sister
or a proper Sikh
with a full beard and a turban?
It's only our men that have
a big engine and full MOT, eh?
Nah, man,
the alternator's gone on the Merc!
Just do the carburettor on the Nissan.
l told you not to bother me!
lt's my engagement, man!
- Sorry.
- l know. Of course.
Put it off. Thank you.
- Lads get into 'em!
- Yes!
Mmm. e is so tick, man!
lnnit, innit? l know!
Look! e's taking his shirt off.
Oh, my God. A body like that should
come with an X-certificate warning!
- And a lifetime guarantee, man.
- Yeah, man. Call Jess.
- Call Jess!
- Oi! Jess!
Jess, man, who's your friend
with the gorgeous bod?
The one with the six-pack.
- lf he looks at me, l really will faint.
- What? Taz?
- az.
- ls that his name?
Look at that kick!
- e is so fly!
- That is fine.
That is so fine.
- Get your girlfriend, man!
- Jess!
- Go on, Jess. Lover-boy's calling you.
- Oh, shut up.
You know he's just my mate.
We're not all slags like you lot!
Ooh!
Bitch! Just cos she's still a V, man,
she thinks she's better than us, innit?
Yeah, but at least she hasn't got off
with half of ounslow like you two.
'y, who's that gori watching her?
- Come on, Jess.
- Go on, Jess.
All the way, it's all yours!
What are you doing, man?
- i.
- i.
hat was brilliant.
Do you play for any side?
Yeah, like who?
Southall United Sari Squad?
l play for ounslow arriers girls' side.
It's close season but we've got
a summer tournament coming up.
- You should come along, have a trial.
- A trial? Think l'm good enough?
Yeah. l've watched you a couple of times,
you got on really good.
It's up to our coach,
but l know we could do with some new blood.
- Jess, that's brilliant!
- Yeah, nice one, Jess.
Do you swap shirts at the end of matches?
- And get in the bath together?
- Where's the soap?
lt does, doesn't it, lads?
Let's play football.
- l'm Jules.
- Jess.
i.
Yes!
l don't give a damn what the people say
l'm gonna do it my way,
gonna do it my way
Boom, boom, a bang bang bang
Gonna let it all out
an' do my thing
A boom, boom, boom
an' a bang bang bang
Boom, bang, boom, bang bang
Do your thing
l want two groups, three in each group.
Let's move!
ow do you know she's serious?
l haven't got time to piss around.
- She's got balls, Jo. At least watch her.
- iya.
- Where do you normally play?
- In the park.
- l mean what position?
- Oh, sorry.
l usually play all over, but up front -
on the right is best.
- Get your boots on.
- l haven't got any.
Right, join in. Start warming up.
- Where should l put this?
- Put it over here.
Jesus!
Pass it to Jules!
Brilliant!
- ow did it feel out there?
- Brilliant. Really, really great.
l've never seen an lndian girl into football.
I didn't even know
they had a girls' team here.
lt's all her fault.
l used to play for the men's club,
and she used to hang around whining
that there was no team for her to play on.
l wasn't whining!
Nah, there was nothing here for us girls.
There was, like, junior boys' stuff,
but when he busted his knee,
he set up a girls' side,
and he's been on my case ever since.
They made me start at the bottom.
You can't get much lower than her!
You're so full of it!
Nah, we get just as many trophies
as the men's side do.
So, does she pass?
- Are your folks up for it?
- Yeah, they're cool.
Suppose you'd better come back, then.
l've got to go open the bar.
Some real work!
- e likes you.
- You think so?
e asked you back, didn't he?
- ow long have you been playing?
- For ages, but just in the park.
- Nothing as serious as this.
- This, serious?
lt'll do for now.
l want to play professionally.
Wow! Can you do that?
I mean as a job, like?
Sure. Not really here,
but you can in America.
hey've got a pro league
with new stadiums and everything.
Really?
Can't believe it.
It's a proper pitch with lights,
corner flags, changing rooms...
The coach likes me.
e really knows his stuff.
Must be gutted he can't play
with his injury and all.
Jules is so lucky!
er mum and dad
must really support her
to let her go all the way
to America to play.
l don't even know how to tell my mum and dad
about ounslow arriers.
Will you both pack it in?!
Look at the state of my fuchsias!
Alan, when are you gonna realise
you have a daughter with breasts, not a son?
- Mum!
- Paula, please.
No boy's gonna want to go out with a girl
who's got bigger muscles than him!
- Why don't you just leave her alone?
- l'm not gonna give it up!
l'm just saying that l saw that evin last night
in the high street with a blonde girl
and it didn't look like they were talking
about Match of the bleedin' Day either!
evin can shag whoever he bloody wants!
oney, all l'm saying is
there is a reason why Sporty Spice
is the only one of them without a fella.
- Sweetheart...
- See what you've done?
Why don't you just get off her flamin' back?
lf she'd rather play football right now
than chase boys,
quite frankly, l'm over the moon about that.
- They're a bit tatty, but they'll do.
- Thanks.
ere's a kit.
Don't be afraid to get it dirty.
Can l not wear my tracksuit bottoms?
No.
Shit!
Jess, get changed over here.
- You've met our captain, Mel.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.
All right? You up for a proper match?
Chiswick next.
Best defensive record in the division.
- They're due for a good stuffing.
- Absolutely.
We need some pace up front.
Jules could do with some decent service.
Welcome to the arriers.
Painters and decorators are in.
Jules, take over the warm-up.
Come on, girls, keep going! eads up!
Jess, what's going on?
lt looks awful.
- lt's why l can't wear shorts ever.
- Jesus.
That's a stunner.
l thought l had a bad one on my knee
but yours is gorgeous.
Look, don't worry about it.
No one's gonna care once you're out there.
- What happened?
- You don't want to know.
Look...
Two operations later and it's still useless.
Yours affect your game?
Nah, it just looks awful.
l was eight.
My mum was working overtime at eathrow
and I was trying to cook beans on toast.
When l jumped up to the grill to get
the toast, my trousers caught alight,
so my sister put me in the bath,
poured cold water over me
and pulled them off,
but half my skin came off, too.
Sorry.
l know.
Put me off beans on toast for life.
Come on.
Mine stopped me from playing outright,
yours doesn't.
- No more dawdling.
- Sorry about your knee.
Yeah, yeah.
l'm a right sob story, aren't l?
Come on!
l want to see some sweat on you!
Well, she's all you'd ever want
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt
and take to dinner
And she always knows her place
She got style, she got grace
She's a winner
She's a lady
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
She's a lady
l'm talking about my little lady
Oh, whoa, whoa, she's a lady
Lady
Well, she's a lady!
Oh, whoa, whoa
She's a lady
Go on then, boys, come on.
- ey, ony!
- What are you here for, fantasy football?
Wow, Jess. You look like a pro.
lt's brilliant. They're a top team
and the coach is ace.
xcellent.
- What's that down your leg?
- aven't you seen a burn before?
- That's disgusting, man!
- Back off, you wanker!
No, it's fine.
At least l can still skin you alive!
The skill, the skill!
The skill! Oh, the skill.
That's not fair!
e was touching you all over!
Putting his hands on your bare legs!
You're not a young girl any more!
And, you, showing the world your scar!
Jessie, now that your sister has got engaged,
it's different.
- You know how people talk.
- She's the one getting married, not me!
I was married at your age!
You don't even want to learn how to cook dhal!
- l'm not playing with boys any more.
- Good! nd of matter.
- l'm joining a girls' team.
- uh?
They want me to play in proper matches.
he coach said I could go far.
Go far? Go far to where?
Jessie, we let you play all you wanted
when you were young, huh?
- You've played enough.
- That's not fair! e selected me.
e?
She said it was girls!
- The coach, Joe.
- See how she lies?
I don't want you running around
half-naked in front of men, huh?
Look how dark you've become,
playing in the sun!
But, Mum, l'm really good!
What family will want a daughter-in-law
who can run around kicking football all day,
but can't make round chapatis?
Now exams are over, I want you to learn
full Punjabi dinner, meat and vegetarian!
- But, Dad!
- No! This is where you spoil her!
- What have l done to...
- No, this is how it started with your niece,
the way that girl would answer back,
and then running off to become
a model wearing small skirts!
- Mum, she's a fashion designer!
- She's divorced, that's what she is.
Cast off after three years of being married
to a white boy with blue hair!
er poor mother, she hasn't been able
to set foot in that temple since.
l don't want the shame on my family.
That's it! No more football!
Jessie, your mother is right.
lt's not nice.
You must start
behaving like a proper woman. O?
It's out of order. Anything I want
is just not lndian enough for 'em!
l mean, l never bunked off school
like Pinky or Bubbly.
l don't wear make-up or tight clothes.
- They don't see all those things!
- Parents never see the good things.
Anyone can cook aloo gobi,
but who can bend a ball like Beckham?
Why don't you just play
and not tell 'em, eh?
Pinky's been sneaking off for years
to see Teets,
and now they're getting married,
nobody cares.
What your parents don't know won't hurt.
Why should l have to lie? lt's not like
I'm sleeping around with anyone!
Jess! Jess!
- ello!
- i.
l thought l'd find you out here playing.
- This is Tony. This is Jules from the team.
- i.
All right.
Jess is well made up with your team.
Yeah, we've got high hopes for her,
especially me.
My mum doesn't want me to play any more.
hat's bollocks!
My mum's never wanted me to play.
You just can't take no for an answer.
Yeah, but my sister's getting married
so my mum and dad are stressed out.
l won't be able to get out of the house
for training and matches.
Come on, Jess.
You can't leave me alone out there.
Joe's got an American scout coming over.
Anyway, don't worry about your mum.
Just say you got a summer job.
l could put in a good word for you
at MV with me.
So...
now we've got that sorted,
gonna show me what your fella can do or what?
- Oh, he's not my boyfriend.
- No, I'm not her boyfriend.
Jess, come on! Are you playing?
Jessie! Breakfast!
Nah, l'm in a hurry!
You can't go to work
on an empty stomach, huh?
Where's my keys?
- Jessie!
- No, l'm late, Mum.
Bye!
Hush now, child
And don't you cry
Your folks might understand you
By and by
Yes!
Just move on up
Get those legs up!
Toward your destination
Though you may find
From time to time
Complications
That's it, girls.
Bite your lip
And take a trip
Though there may be
wet road ahead
And you cannot slip
Just move on up
For peace you will find
lnto the steeple of beautiful people
Where there's only one kind
So hush now, child
Good night, Jules.
asy, tiger.
Your folks might understand you
By and by
Move on up
And keep on wishing
Remember your dream
is your only scheme
So keep on pushing
Where is it?
Just move on up
Move on up
Aloo gobi.
Get off me, man!
No one can see us.
Yeah?
Mum!
No, no, nothing,
l'm just at work, innit?
Yeah, I know Poli's
coming round to do the suits.
So Jess can get the tube, innit?
Yeah, all right, all right, l'll pick her up.
l've got to go, Mum, someone's coming.
l'll see you later. Bye.
Nah, my mum and dad ain't got a clue.
hey've no idea
you've been playing all this time?
Nope.
- Where do they think you are?
- They think l've got a job at MV.
Blimey, that's not on.
lndian girls aren't supposed to play football.
- hat's a bit backward.
- lt ain't just an lndian thing, is it?
l mean, how many people
come out and support us?
So are you, like, promised to someone?
Nah. No way. My sister's getting
married soon. lt's a love match.
- What's that mean?
- It's not arranged.
So if you can choose,
can you marry a white boy?
White, no, black, definitely not, a Muslim...
- l guess you'll be marrying an lndian, then.
- Probably.
l don't know how you lndian girls put up with it.
lt's just culture. Better than sleeping with boys
you're not going to end up marrying.
- That's the best bit!
- Yeah, you should know!
Are you ready to go?
See you slags later!
lt's only me.
Mum, l'm starving. l had to work
through my lunch hour today.
Where's Pinky?
She was supposed to pick you up
so you wouldn't be late for Poli.
Pinky, why didn't you pick
your sister up from work, huh?
l went but the manager said
l'd just missed her.
O, Poli's on her way.
l'll make you girls some tea.
- All right. Who is he, then?
- Who?
You must think l've got shit for brains,
lying about a job and all that.
You can't say anything to Mum and Dad.
I kept eet a secret for you.
- e's not a Muslim, is he?
- Shh!
Look, l've been playing football
for a women's team.
uh? lt's worse than l thought.
lt's a proper tournament,
they're real matches.
What is wrong with you, Jess?
lf you're going to bother lying,
at least do it for something good!
Don't you want a boyfriend
like everyone else?
You're quite pretty.
Do something with your hair,
put make-up on, you'd look all right.
Leave her alone. l never wore make-up
until after l was married.
Jessie's a good girl now.
She helped me wash all the net curtains
and she made lovely aloo gobi
last week, huh?
Waist, 25...
under bust, 28...
- Bust...
- h, that's too tight and rude!
No, Mum, l want my choli more fitted.
hat's the style, innit?
- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half.
- No, tighter!
- OK, 34!
- h, how are you going to breathe?
Mum, why do l have to wear
a sari? It will just fall down!
Your first sari
is when you become a woman.
Poli, sari blouse and petticoat.
- So...bust...31 ...
- No, that's too tight. l want it looser.
Dressed in a sack,
who's going to notice you, huh?
Don't worry. ln one of our designs,
even these mosquito bites
will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!
Poli...
Under bust, 27.
The waist, 27.
Mum, l need to buy different shoes
to go with the sari and the suits.
- Come again?
- She's coming into line now!
I can pay for one pair from my wages.
Can you give me money for the other?
You need one black and one white
to go with everything.
l know l make mistakes
l will have to live and learn
Sometimes you play with fire
And sometimes you get burned
l have my dream to live
Following that star
lt doesn't matter how long it takes
lt doesn't matter how far
No time for make-believing
And it's too late to turn back now
Yeah, yeah, yeah
l've been dreaming about it
l can't live without it
l've got to find my own way
l'm not changing my mind now
Or looking behind now
This is my lndependence
Day
My lndependence Day
- Can you change the channel, please?
- lt's nearly the end.
Mum, she's back.
Jesminder, you've been gone all day
for two pairs of shoes! Come here!
lt's not that late, Mum. l was looking at other
things too, like...handbags.
- Let's see 'em, then.
- Not yet. l'll try them on with the suits.
- Let me see 'em!
- ey, come here.
Cigarette?
- ave you been smoking?
- No!
Cigarette!
l've never smoked.
l had to go to the loo
so l went into a pub with my friend.
l had a coke. You can smell my breath.
She might be right.
hese don't even have a heel!
ow will they fall nicely with your sari?
l'll take them back. Give me them back.
Football shoes.
But you can't give 'em back.
l've got to get some proper shoes
for the wedding.
Don't worry about it.
Come over to mine. l'll sort you out.
Come on, girls! Wake up!
God! My mum had a fit
when she saw the boots.
And l smelt like a bleedin' ashtray.
l had to clean all the big saucepans.
Yak, yak, yak, yak! Jess.
- ls everything all right?
- Yes, coach.
Training not getting in the way
of your cosy conversation?
- No, coach.
- Good.
Then l want five more laps round the pitch.
- lbows to knees as you go.
- Joe, that is totally out of order!
ey! l don't remember telling
the rest of you to stop!
Come on, move it. You're doing very well.
Just keep it up for another two minutes.
Good, Mackie! Good, Sally!
xcellent. xcellent.
Jess! You can stop now!
Stop. You're doing yourself an injury.
- No, l'm O. l've just got one more lap.
- l said stop!
Let's have a look at you.
- It's nothing.
- Sit down. Let me decide if it's nothing.
Why didn't you tell me you'd twisted it?
l didn't want you to think
l'm not as strong as the others.
That's stupid, Jess.
Look, my dad was my coach.
And scouts kept telling him
that l was too slight to play,
so he kept pushing me.
That's how l screwed my knee.
Your dad made you?
l wanted to show him l wasn't soft,
so I tried to play injured.
- e was a bit of a bastard anyway.
- You shouldn't say that about your dad.
You don't know my dad.
All right. Come on.
Good. Now put your weight on me.
There you are.
Oh, my God!
Just give 'em back after the wedding.
My mum loves them.
She stuck the bows on herself.
- Oh, thanks. You sure she won't miss 'em?
- Nah.
Listen...
l hope Joe wasn't too hard on you.
- Some of the girls think he's too strict.
- Oh, no.
e was really nice,
just really professional.
l love that picture. lt was taken
just after we beat Millwall last year.
You gotta see this. lt's wicked.
WUSA soccer!
- Wow!
- Yeah. WUSA.
lncredible.
We don't have anything like that here.
Washington Freedom on the attack.
The cross comes in, goal!
Mia Hamm, world footballer of the year!
Milbrett makes a run,
she's got Overbeck to beat.
She shoots! Goal! Tiffeny Milbrett
scores again for the New York Power!
Lily strikes... Save!
Brandi Chastain!
Saved!
Smith beats the keeper!
Goal for Kelly Smith,
the England international!
Anyway, when are you going to tell
your parents about your game?
- Oh, l dunno.
- You can't keep lying. You're too good.
- Cooee!
- Quick, hide the shoes!
- Sweetheart!
- l'm up here, Mum.
Oh, it's hot out there.
Oh! Got company.
- ello, love.
- Yeah. Mum, this is Jess.
Jess. Jess?
ls that...lndian?
It's really Jesminder,
but only my mum calls me that.
Oh, that's nice. Jesmin-dah.
Lovely.
Well, Jesmin-dah,
l bet your room at home
doesn't look like this,
with all these big butch women on the wall.
Thank you, Mum, l'm not old like you!
Jess, I hope you can teach
my daughter a bit about your culture,
including...
respect for elders and the like, eh?
Cheeky madam!
Well, Jess, you're a lucky girl, aren't you?
Cos l expect your parents are fixing you up
with a handsome young doctor soon.
- Aren't they? Pretty girl like you.
- Mum! Stop embarrassing yourself!
What?
Just being friendly.
You don't mind, do you, Jess love?
Course not. Now, are you a friend
from school or work?
She's a footballer.
She's on the team with me.
"Jesmin-dah"!
Did you see her face, though?
- Juliette!
- Jesmin-dah! What was that?
Are you all right?
Jesus!
Jules...
You know Joe,
do you like him?
Nah. No, he'd get sacked if he was
caught shagging one of his players.
Really?
Sometimes l wish l could find a bloke
just like him that wasn't off limits.
veryone l know's a prat.
They think girls can't play as well as them,
except Joe, of course.
Yeah, l hope l end up marrying
an lndian boy like him, too.
- What?
- l'm sorry!
Shut up!
Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.
lt's just that we felt it our duty to tell you.
And now it's a matter for your own family.
You know how hard it is
for our children over here.
Sometimes they misjudge
and start behaving like the kids here.
All I know is that children
are a map of their parents.
- You stupid flippin' cow!
- You've ruined your sister's life!
- appy now?
- My wedding's called off cos of you!
Me? Why?
They saw you being filthy
with an nglish boy!
hey're lying.
l wasn't with any nglish boy.
They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!
Stupid bitch, why couldn't you do it
in secret like everyone else?
issing? Me?
A boy?
- You're all bloody mad!
- Jesminder, don't use those swearing words.
l was at the 120 bus stop today
but with Juliette.
My friend.
She's a girl.
And we weren't kissing or anything.
For God's sake!
- Swear by Babaji.
- l swear on Babaji's name.
Sometimes these nglish girls
have such short hair...
you just can't tell.
They must have made a mistake.
is parents are just making an excuse.
We were never good enough for them.
No, Mum, it's all her fault.
l bet she was with some dykey girl
from her football team!
She's still been playing!
- Pinky.
- She ain't got no job! She's been lying.
Oh, God, why did you give me
two deceiving daughters?
- What did l do wrong in my past life?
- But she's the one that's ruined my life!
Don't think l didn't know
you were sneaking out
with that good-for-nothing Teetu as well!
- Well, just talk to them, innit?
- l will, l'll come and talk to your parents.
And if they don't like it...
Jules, come here to me.
Where's your mate?
l don't know.
This is the second training session
in a row she's missed.
lt's not like her.
Did she say she was unhappy
with anything?
er parents didn't know she was on the team.
Maybe they found out.
What?
She told me her folks were up for it.
l've been telling her to tell them
but she won't listen to me.
l'll get it!
- Yeah?
- ello.
Thanks, Jess.
l'm sorry to barge in on you like this,
Mr and Mrs Bhamra,
but l wanted to talk to you in person.
l only found out today that you didn't know
Jess was playing for our team.
- No, we didn't.
- I apologise.
lf l'd known, l would have
encouraged Jess to tell you
because l believe
she's got tremendous potential.
l think we know better
our daughter's potential.
Jess has no time for games.
She'll be starting university soon.
But playing for the team is an honour.
What bigger honour is there
than respecting your elders?
Young man,
when l was a teenager in Nairobi,
l was the best fast bowler in our school.
Our team even won the ast African Cup.
But when l came to this country, nothing.
l was not allowed to play
in any of the teams,
and these bloody goras in the clubhouses
made fun of my turban
and sent me off packing!
l'm sorry, Mr Bhamra...
- but now it's...
- Now what?
None of our boys are in
any of the football leagues.
You think they will let our girls?
l don't want you to build up
Jesminder's hopes.
She will only end up
disappointed like me.
But, Dad, it's all changing now.
Nasser ussein is captain of
the nglish cricket team, he's Asian.
ussein's a Muslim name,
their families are different.
Oh, Mum!
We've been invited to play
in Germany this Saturday.
lt's a shame you'll miss it.
Wow! Germany!
l can see what you're up against,
but your parents don't always
know what's best for you, Jess.
We're all here.
We're all in, yeah?
Shit!
- You know the score, yeah?
- Yeah, call them twice a day.
Trust me, man,
l'm a expert at this.
- You take care, all right? Laters.
- My sister's covering for me.
- We're supposed to be at my cousin's.
- I didn't hear that.
Uh-huh, make me tonight
Tonight
Make it right
- Cheese!
- Cheese.
Uh-huh, make me tonight
Tonight
Oh, oh-ho, make it magnificent...
Jess! Come on, cross it, Jess!
Oh, your hair is beautiful
Aaah, tonight
Atomic
..Jess Bhamra.
- Go on, Jess.
- Jess. Go on, Jess, you can do this!
Yeah, Mum, l'm fine, Pinky's fine.
We're cooking, er...
- Pasta.
- ..pasta.
l'd better go, Pinky's burning it.
OK, say hi to Dad, yeah?
O. Bye, Mum.
Good. They sound happy.
Pinky will meet someone new
and Jessie will forget
all about this football nonsense.
The dinner's ready?
But let me wash up first.
Call her back in Croydon.
l want to speak to them.
l said l want to speak to them!
O, baba.
Oh, l didn't bring anything for a club.
I didn't know they wanted to
take us out clubbing. l bet it's to gloat.
Mel? We need some help.
Jess!
- Oh, wow! You look good.
- You look good, Jess.
- Doesn't she look good?
- She looks great.
- You've done a good job, Mel.
- Looks good in my clothes.
Let's get a taxi.
ello, darling!
- ow's Jules?
- l'm fine. ow are you?
- Are you gonna dance with me?
- No.
Come on!
Are you gonna dance with me?
Oh, you're such a wuss!
l'm sorry l missed that penalty, coach.
lt's O.
Losing to the Jerries on penalties
comes natural to you nglish.
You're part of a tradition now.
nough about football.
Come on, you're dancing with me.
- No!
- You are!
- Oh, go on!
- l'm not taking no for an answer!
l turn to you
Like a flower leaning towards the sun
l turn to you
Cos you're the only one
Who can turn me around
When l'm upside down
Down, down
l turn to you
l turn to you, ooh-ooh
When my insides are racked with anxiety
You have the touch that will quiet me
You lift my spirit, you melt the ice
The ice, the ice
When l need inspiration,
when l need advice
l turn to you
Like a flower
leaning towards the sun
l turn to you
Cos you're the only one
Who can turn me around...
Jess!
Steady on there, young one.
Are you all right?
Sure?
Gosh.
l only had a couple of wines.
Oh, my head!
- lt's too smoky in there.
- Yeah.
l wish l
Could right now
Wish that l could show you how...
That was so brilliant
the way you came to my house.
You were brave enough to face my mum.
Your dad can't be as mad as her.
Your mam's a barrel of laughs
compared to me dad.
l don't need to feel close
to my family, Jess.
l don't need you to feel sorry for me.
You bitch!
Shit. Jules.
Jules!
You all right, Jess?
ls that your mum and dad?
What haven't we done for these girls, huh?
We bought a car for Pinky.
Jessie wanted computer,
music centre, TV, video, huh?
Pinks...
ow do you know Teet's the one?
l just know.
When you're in love with someone,
you'd do anything for that person.
Pinks...
do you think Mum and Dad would still speak
to me if I ever brought home a gora?
- Who?
- No one. l'm just saying.
lt's that coach bloke, innit? l knew
something was up when he turned up here!
- No, nothing's happened.
- Well, make sure it doesn't, all right?
Look, Jess, you can marry
anyone you want.
It's fine at first when
you're in love and all that,
but do you really want to be the one
everyone stares at every family do
- cos you married the nglish bloke?
- e's lrish.
Yeah, well, they look all the bloody same
to them, innit?
Anyway, why go to so much grief
when there's so many
good-looking lndian boys to marry?
lt's not like before, you know?
Now they wear good clothes,
got flashy jobs,
even know how to cook and wash up.
ey, how about Tony?
l mean, he's been mad on you for ages.
Jess?
- i.
- i.
Was that the club chairman?
Yeah.
They told me they're considering me
as assistant coach
for the men's side next year.
That's great. Congratulations.
Probably won't get it.
Better not to count on anything.
Well, you deserve it.
- Look, I really wanted to say...
- l've already forgotten about it.
Yeah, good. Me too.
Your mam and dad
didn't look too pleased yesterday.
l suppose you've come to tell me
you're off the team for good?
lt's not fair.
l feel like l'm either going to
let the team down or really piss them off,
and l don't want to upset anyone.
Why are they so frightened to let you play?
They want to protect me.
From what?
his is taking me away
from everything they know.
Whose life are you living, Jess?
If you try pleasing 'em forever,
you're gonna end up blaming 'em.
What, like you?
- l'm sorry.
- No, you're right.
I stopped talking to my dad
because we had nothing to talk about.
l spent a year getting pissed,
trying to forget about the game,
but l couldn't.
But l can't just stop talking to them like you.
l don't talk to my dad
because l know what he'd say.
e'd piss himself if he found out
l was coaching girls.
ow do you know that?
ow do you know he wouldn't be proud
that you didn't just give up?
You should be proud
of what you've given all of us.
Then why are you giving up?
- Jeswinder, isn't it?
- Jesminder.
Jesminder, oh yeah, l'm sorry.
l cooked a lovely curry the other day.
Darling?
Oh, you still not up?
Guess who's come to see you.
lt's your lndian friend, from football.
Jules has been ever so down
since you lost in Germany.
Maybe you can cheer her up a bit, eh?
Do you two want some tea?
l've just made some
cheese straws with real Gruyere.
No, it's all right, Mum.
Jess won't be staying long.
Well...
just give us a shout downstairs
if there's anything you two fancy.
All right?
Look, Jules, l feel really bad
about what happened.
Yeah, well, you should.
l'm sorry.
I don't want you
to be in a strop with me.
l'm not in a strop!
Look, it was a mistake.
l didn't know what l was doing!
l can't believe you kissed him.
l didn't.
Yeah, right!
Jess, I know what I saw.
You knew he was off limits!
Don't pretend to be so innocent.
You knew exactly how l felt about him!
You told me you didn't like him,
now you act like you're in love with him!
You don't know the meaning of love!
You've really hurt me, Jess!
That's all there is to it!
You've betrayed me!
So that's it?
Yeah, that's it. Bye!
Goodbye, Mrs Paxton.
What's going on?
That is why she's been
so depressed lately.
Cos that Jess broke her heart.
She's in love.
With a girl!
You're jumping
to all the wrong conclusions.
But l heard her!
No wonder she never looked twice
at that evin or brought any boys home.
l tried to get her nice clothes.
You know, we've had some lovely prints
in this summer,
you know, in swimwear
and sarongs and that...
but she never wants
to go shopping with me.
lt was terrible what they did
to that George Michael.
Going on about him and his private business
in the papers like that.
Oh, no!
George Michael is still a superstar
and you still listen to Wham!
Do you fancy me, Tony?
- I like you, yeah...
- Maybe we can go out, then, yeah?
Jess, what's going on?
l just think l need an lndian boyfriend.
What is going on, Jess?
You're acting all weird.
l'm sorry.
- You know my coach, yeah?
- Yeah.
l nearly kissed him in Germany.
Wow! And that's why you need
an lndian boyfriend?
Well, Jules likes him, too,
and now she hates me.
Look, Jess, you...you can't plan
who you fall for. lt just happens.
- l mean, look at Posh and Becks.
- Well, Beckham's the best.
- Yeah, l really like Beckham, too.
- Of course you do.
No one can cross a ball
or bend it like Beckham.
No, Jess...
l really like Beckham.
What, you mean...?
But you're lndian!
l haven't told anyone.
God, what's your mum gonna say?
- My sister thinks you're mad about me.
- I am.
l just don't want to marry you.
Wonder what all those tossers
would say if they knew?
Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?
Course not. lt's O, Tony.
I mean, it's OK with me.
Yeah, well, you fancying
your gora coach is O with me.
Besides...
he's quite fit!
Listen, yeah? Be back by three.
l can't keep 'em at the temple all day.
- l owe you big time.
- Laters.
- Get back into bed.
- Bring me back some langar.
We're going to pray to God
to give you both sense,
not bring back food for you.
Red alert, red alert,
it's a catastrophe
But don't worry
Don't panic
Ain't nothing going on
but history, yeah-eah
onestly, Dad, l'll go inside and get it.
And the music keeps on playing
on and on
Jessie, it's only me.
And the music keeps on playing
Jessie, my darling.
Jessie? Jessie?
Red alert, red alert,
it's a catastrophe
But don't worry...
Look at her arse!
They don't all look like lezzies, do they?
Check out the boobs on the captain!
Jeez, man, they must get in the way!
She's lucky she ain't knocked herself out,
running up and down the pitch with them.
Why can't you lot
just see them as footballers?
What?
To the side! To the side!
Come on! Move it!
Down one-nil. Come on!
Over here! Over here! Come on!
Go on, Jess!
Jules! Over! Jules!
Come on, arriers!
Me! Me!
Over here, Jules!
Go on, Jess!
Go on! Go on!
- What you playing at?
- Piss off, Paki!
Sod you!
- Go away. Go away. Number 7, come here.
- Did you see that?
What's the matter with you, ref?
Violent conduct towards another player.
No!
You haven't seen any of it, have ya?
She fouled her! That's out of order!
She is so hard!
Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!
Shut up.
What the hell's wrong
with you, Bhamra?
l don't ever want to see anything like that
from you ever again!
Do you hear me?!
We're lucky they're not suspending
players from this tournament!
All right, excellent!
We've got QPR in the final.
- Give yourself three cheers. ip, hip!
- ooray!
- ip, hip!
- ooray!
Brilliant!
Why did you yell at me like that?
You knew the ref was out of order!
Jess, you could have cost us the tournament.
But it wasn't my fault!
- You didn't have to shout at me!
- Jess, l am your coach.
I have to treat you
the same as everyone else.
Look, Jess, l saw it.
She fouled you. She tugged your shirt.
You just overreacted, that's all.
That's not all! She called me a Paki,
but l guess you wouldn't understand
what that feels like, would you?
Jess, l'm lrish.
Of course l'd understand
what that feels like.
Jesminder?
Oh, here he is.
Tejinder's mother and father
have come to speak to us.
- Are you well?
- Thank you, yes.
What's happening?
Teet's mum and dad
have come to eat dirt.
Stupid cow. l don't know
who she thinks she is in that sari.
No mother can stand by
and watch her son go through this.
Well, our Pinky, she didn't come
out of her room for days.
- She was crying.
- Our eetu also.
For days he has eaten nothing,
and drunk nothing!
All right.
Thank you for coming.
Thanks, Dad! Mum!
l'm getting married!
We'll give them a wedding party
they won't forget their whole life!
- Find out which date the hall is free.
- I'll do that.
Jessie, go and get the old wedding cards.
hey're in the extension.
We'll change the dates by hand.
Now, we'll have...
My name is Mohan Singh Bhamra.
..and paneer tikka.
We'll show them we're not poor people!
Yeah, just hold on.
Will Sunday the 25th be O?
- The 25th?
- There's a cancellation.
No, that's too soon, we need more time.
Yeah, just hold on, please.
After that, there is no date available
for five months.
Oh, please, don't let me wait that long!
OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it
before something else goes wrong!
But, Dad, the 25th...
No, that was not for you.
l'm so excited!
Your sister needs you.
Mel said you wanted to see me.
lt's about Jess.
l don't want to talk about Germany, Joe.
- Listen, Jules...
- Whatever! l'm over it!
I don't even know why I was surprised!
You never think about anyone but yourself!
veryone knows
you're leaving us next season!
Nothing's been decided.
Bollocks.
You've already lied about the American scout.
e's never gonna show up, is he?
You can't bear the idea of anyone
else making it, because you can't!
e's coming to the final.
- What?
- e saw you play in Germany.
l thought...
Don't worry about it.
Jess.
We all missed you at training today.
specially Joe. e, erm...
e told me what happened with your dad.
e did?
Yeah.
e's worried he's gotten you
into even more trouble.
l'm really in the shit.
Dad hasn't talked to me since.
e'll never let me go back
to Joe and the team.
But you can't miss the final.
Jess, there's gonna be
an American scout there.
l can't. lt's the same day
as my sister's wedding.
Oh, shit.
Well, can't you get away for a bit?
- You don't understand.
- lf you give up football now,
- what are you gonna have to give up next?
- Don't rub it in, all right?
You came here cos you need me
if that bloody scout shows up.
Look, I came here
cos Joe was worried about you.
l'll just tell him he's wasting
his bloody time.
The teriyaki sauce is the goalkeeper.
The posh French mustard is the defender.
- The salt is the attacker.
- he sea salt.
The sea salt is the attacker.
Now, when the ball's played forward,
the sea salt has to be level
with the mustard.
ello, darling. Right, now watch
and concentrate. Offside, onside.
- Offside, onside.
- What are you doing?
Well, if the mountain
won't come to Mohammed...
- What?
- Don't laugh.
l'm trying to teach your mother
the offside rule.
Well, l've decided that l've got to take
an interest or I'm going to lose you.
This way we can all enjoy football
as a family.
Right. So, don't tell me.
he offside rule is...
when...the French mustard...
has to be between the teriyaki sauce
and the sea salt.
- She's got it.
- Got it!
- Wonderful!
- ave you read all these as well?
Yeah. Oh, do you know what?
One of those ngland girls' players
is a maths teacher as well,
and she's happily married
with a baby.
A-level results...
..A-level results...
urry up, Mum!
Good.
Thank you!
Jesminder aur Bhamra,
BA, LLB,
you can become a fine,
top-class solicitor now.
Clean and serene
Dream
Dream the dream
Clean
And serene
Dream
Dream the dream
Clean
And serene
Dream
Dream the dream
She's not coming, Joe.
- er sister's wedding's on Sunday.
- Shit!
Guess l'm on my own, then.
You'll impress the scout. No worries.
- ow was she?
- A right stroppy cow, actually.
She's really pissed off she can't make it
and she doesn't know what to do.
Go on! ick the ball,
kick the ball, kick the ball!
Three players coming behind you
the whole time, hunting you!
Yes?
l'm sorry to bother you like this.
l don't have anything to say to you, O?
l appreciate it, and l won't keep you long
from your celebrations,
but l wanted you to know that there's a scout
coming to our final match tomorrow.
So?
So, it's the opportunity of a lifetime for Jess.
Please, Mr Bhamra,
- don't let her talent go to waste.
- hank you.
What did he say, Dad?
Don't play with your future, putar.
Wait!
l'm sorry about the final.
No, l'm sorry, Jess.
Got my results.
l'm starting university soon.
l won't have time to train and stuff.
Now that's a shame. I could have
seen you play for ngland someday.
Jules still has a shot.
She told me about the scout coming.
Sorry I'm letting her down.
l asked that scout to come for you, too.
- e's interested in both of you.
- Me?
Why are you doing this to me, Joe?
very time l talk myself out of it,
you come around and make it sound so easy.
l guess l don't want to give up on you.
So, uh, are you promised
to one of those blokes in there?
Don't be silly.
l'm not promised to anyone.
You're lucky...to have a family
that cares that much about you.
l can understand
you don't want to mess with it.
Joe...
And I don't fancy being busted by
your dad again. You'd better get back.
l hope all goes well for you tomorrow,
and good luck with your studies.
Come and see us sometime.
Let's just hope she fits in the car
with that hat on.
We're going to a football match, not Ascot!
You look lovely.
Beautiful.
yes down! Look sad!
Don't smile! lndian bride never smiles.
You'll ruin the bloody video!
- What does she look like?
- She looks like a jar of bloody Rag, innit?
Where the hell is the flippin' Rolls?
Can't anything happen without me?!
One, two, three, four
Yeah, yeah
You gave me something like loving
And took me in so soon
You took my feelings from nothing
Came back at noon
Just meet me, l'm ready
To show myself to you
So if l lose my patience
You must try to understand
Try to understand
lf l lose my patience
Oh, yeah
Cos you make me feel
Yeah, yeah
Cos you make me feel wild
Yeah, yeah
You touch my inner smile
Yeah, yeah
You got me in the mood
Yeah, yeah
So, come on, and make your rule
And free me...
Tony, what are you doing?
We can still make the second half
if we leave now.
You're mad! My mum and dad will go spare!
I've just got to put them first today.
There's so many people in there,
they won't even notice.
l can't!
Look how happy they are, Tony.
I don't want to ruin it for 'em.
- What are you going to ruin?
- Nothing, it's OK.
lt's the final of her football
tournament today, Uncle.
We can pick up the kit on the way, l can drive
her there and back. It won't take long.
Stop it, Tony.
Dad, it doesn't matter. l don't want
to spoil the day for you and Mum.
Pinky is so happy and you look as if
you've come to your father's funeral.
l'm sorry, Dad.
lf this is the only way l'm going to see you
smiling on your sister's wedding day,
then go now,
but when you come back,
l want to see you happy on the video.
Play well and make us proud.
Take these shoes.
Joe!
What's happening?
Start warming up, Bhamra.
We're one-nil down with half an hour to go.
Pass it over here!
Come on, ref!
Ref!
Ten yards, keep going, keep moving back.
en yards.
Oh!
Form a wall! Form a wall!
Well done, Jenny!
ave any of you seen Jesminder?
Jesminder!
Jesminder?
Go on, Jules!
One-all!
Over! Over!
Where does this bit go?
No, you're doing it wrong. Round that way.
Tuck it in. Tuck it in. Tuck it in.
You've got your shorts on.
Where does that bit go?
Lift your leg up.
- Paxton, Bhamra, are you decent?
- Yes!
Oh, is that the coach?
- Who's that?
- Dunno. e looks important.
- Yeah.
- l haven't seen him before.
- Look how happy she is, though.
- l know.
Dad, l can't believe it! lt was amazing!
My eyes just glazed over!
What a game for him to see!
lt's incredible! Santa Clara!
lt's in California!
lt's like one of the top teams!
e even said he could give us
like a full scholarship
which means you wouldn't have to pay nothing!
Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess
there together, the pair of us!
Come on, Paula.
l'm not blaming you, but it is the football.
lt is!
Come on, darling. Come on.
l'm off, then!
Sweetheart, where are you going
in your...in your best trousers?
- Out.
- Where? Who with?
l'm gonna meet Jess at her
sister's wedding to celebrate.
Wait!
l'll take you.
Oh, thanks, Mum!
My God, it's so colourful.
veryone looks brilliant! Look at the car!
- ow are you?
- You look gorgeous!
- Mum...
- ello, Mrs Paxton.
ow could you be such a hypocrite?!
ow could you be all respectful here
with your lot
when l know you've been kissing
my daughter in broad daylight?!
- Mum!
- m?
Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!
Lesbian? er birthday's in March.
I thought she was a Pisces.
She no Lebanese. She Punjabi!
Do you mind, yeah?
But this just happens to be my wedding!
- Sorry.
- ow could you do this, sweetheart?
Get in the car. What is wrong with you?!
What are you talking about?!
What the bleeding hell's going on? uh?
What's that gori going on about you being
a lesbo? l thought you fancied your coach!
l don't know what she was saying!
Jess, don't you want all of this?
This is the best day of your life, innit?
I want more than this. hey've offered
me and Jules a scholarship to go to America.
There's no way Dad will let you
go and live abroad
without getting married first.
- What the bloody hell were you thinking?!
- Juliette, l saw you with my own eyes!
You were kissing after your match!
l'm not stupid, you know!
And anyway,
look at the clothes you wear!
Mother, just because
l wear trackies and play sport
does not make me a lesbian!
Me and Jess were fighting
because we both fancied our coach - Joe!
- Joe... What, a man, Joe?
- Yeah, as in male. Joe!
Joe, our coach! Joe, man, Joe!
Anyway, being a lesbian
is not that big a deal.
Oh, no, sweetheart, of course it isn't.
No! No, l mean, l've got nothing against it.
l was cheering for Martina Navratilova
as much as the next person.
l couldn't understand what
that nglish woman was saying?
Why was she talking about kissing?
l think she got confused
like Teetu's parents.
lt's so hard when young girls
have such short hair.
Maybe we were making too much noise.
nglish people are always complaining
when we're having functions.
Why did she take Jesminder's shoes?
ow am l gonna tell 'em, Tony?
l'll have to now or l'll end up a solicitor,
bored out of my mind.
Come with me.
Mum, Uncle-ji, Auntie-ji...
We've got something we want to tell you.
Why is he holding her hand?
You know how we've been good friends
for a long time now.
We'd like to ask for your blessings.
We'd like to get engaged.
But, look, there's one condition -
l want Jesminder to go to college first,
anywhere that she wants.
Of course, putar!
Well, we have relatives all the way
in Glasgow, Portsmouth...
Mum, Dad...
Tony's lying.
We're not getting married.
Tony only said that to help me,
but I'm not lying any more.
l played in the final today, and we won!
- ow? When?
- l wasn't going to go, but Dad let me.
And it was brilliant.
l played the best ever!
And l was happy because l wasn't
sneaking off and lying to you!
l didn't ask to be good at football.
Guru Nanak must have blessed me.
Anyway, there was a scout from America
there today,
and he's offered me a place
at a top university
with a free scholarship and a chance
to play football professionally,
and l really want to go,
and if l can't tell you what l want now,
then l'll never be happy, whatever l do.
You let her leave her sister's wedding
to go to a football match?!
Maybe you could handle
her long face, l could not.
l didn't have the heart to stop her.
And that's why she's ready to go
all the way to America now!
She's dead, man!
lt's all right, Mum, just leave it.
When those bloody nglish cricket players
threw me out of their club like a dog...
l never complained.
On the contrary, I vowed
that l will never play again.
Who suffered?
Me.
But l don't want Jessie to suffer.
I don't want her to make
the same mistakes that her father made
of accepting life, accepting situations.
l want her to fight.
And l want her to win...
..because l've seen her playing. She's...
She is brilliant!
I don't think anybody
has the right of stopping her.
Two daughters made happy on one day.
What else can a father ask for?
At least l've taught her full lndian dinner.
The rest is up to God.
Joe!
l'm going! They said l could go!
Sorry. l forgot.
lt's O now. l'm not your coach any more.
We can do what we want.
- Joe...
- Your dad's not here, is he?
l'm sorry, Joe. l can't.
l thought you wanted...
Letting me go is a really big step
for my mum and dad.
l don't know how they'd survive
if I told them about you, too.
l guess there's not much point,
with you going to America anyway, is there?
- Mum, it's not perfume, is it?
- No. lt's not what you think. Go on.
lt was your mum's idea.
lt was.
Oh! Thank you so much!
Make sure you keep this
by your bed all the time, huh?
And phone Papu Uncle in Canada
as soon as you land.
At least there's some family close by.
xcuse me, it's getting really late.
You'd better board the plane.
Jess!
Don't worry. That's her coach.
What are you doing here?
hey offered me the job,
coaching the men's side.
- No more pulling pints.
- That's great, Joe!
Yeah.
l turned them down.
What? Why did you...?
They're going to let me coach
the girls' side.
They want us to turn pro next year.
Wow.
Can't keep losing all my best players
to the Yanks, now, can l?
hat's brilliant, Joe.
You should tell your dad, you know.
l already did.
Are you sure we're doing the right thing?
Whatever God has written for her
will happen. Just relax.
Maybe after they've trained you up
l'll sign you, if l can afford you!
Yeah, you wish!
Look...
- l can't let you go without knowing.
- What?
That even with the distance
and the concerns of your family,
we might still have something.
What do you think?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, yeah!
Oh, my God, Dad, it's Beckham!
Oh, it's a sign!
Jess, look, it's Becks!
Cos you make me feel
Yeah, yeah
Cos you make me feel wild
Yeah, yeah
You touch my inner smile
I'm back at Christmas.
We'll tackle my mum and dad then.
l'd better go.
- Jules, take care of yourself.
- Ah, see you later, mate.
- ave a good time, all right?
- Yeah, and you.
Play well, keep your head up.
Come on, you two,
you're gonna miss this plane. Ticket. Go. Go!
See you later.
Come on!
Bye, sweetheart!
Just move on up
Oh, thank you.
- i.
- ello. Nice to meet you.
See ya!
Come on, let's have a look.
- Sweatshirts!
- Look at that!
Just move on up!
Move on up
We move on up!
Oh, child, we'll just move on up
We move on up!
Move on up
- Yes!
- No, no, no.
- Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
- Oh, no, no, no.
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
ow ya feeling?
ot, hot, hot!
- ow ya feeling?
- ot, hot, hot.
l've totally...forgotten the line!
- Feeling hot, hot, hot!
- Sorry.
Sorry.
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
"erself."
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
Feeling hot, hot, hot.
Excellent! Thank you!
yet again for Manchester United.
He's really taking responsibility
every time they have possession
and this is really a reflection of the way
he's been playing and captaining England.
Seems to have matured so much as a player
and he's dominating proceedings here,
but...hoping perhaps to get
a bit more support
as he gathers the ball on this
right-hand touchline time after time.
And the Old Trafford crowd warming now
to the way Beckham is taking over.
But there's a big question mark
here against United,
because where is
the goal gonna come from
- to break down Anderlecht?
- United!
Will it be Scholes?
Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?
Would it indeed be Beckham himself
who breaks through?
Anderlecht are playing
a very controlled game.
This is Radzinski for them,
testing the United defence,
and Silvestre here at left back,
possibly with a chance to
break forward now on the other flank.
And there's the ball
that Beckham really wants.
That looked like a body check there,
but he's shrugged off the defender.
Still Beckham, plenty in the middle.
lt's a decent cross, and there is Bhamra.
That's a fine header,
and she's scored!
lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!
A superb header here,
beating the defender
and planting the ball beyond
the goalkeeper's left hand.
Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself
at Old Trafford!
And have we discovered
a new star here, Gary Lineker?
That's right, John. Could Bhamra be
the answer to ngland's prayers? Alan?
There's no denying the talent.
Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball,
vision and awareness -
absolutely magnificent.
l tell you what,
l wish she was playing for Scotland!
John, have ngland found the player
to relive their World Cup glory from '66 ?
Definitely, Gary, we've finally found
the missing piece of the jigsaw
and the best thing is,
she's not reached her peak yet.
O. Thanks, John.
Well, we're joined in the studio now
by Jess's mother, Mrs Bhamra.
Mrs Bhamra, you must be
very proud of your daughter.
Not at all!
She shouldn't be running around with men,
showing her bare legs to 70,000 people!
She's bringing shame on the family
and you three shouldn't encourage her!
Jesminder, you get back home now!
Jesminder, are you listening to me?
Jesminder, have you gone mad?
- Mum!
- Football, shootball!
Your sister's getting engaged
and you're watching this skinhead boy!
Mum, it's Beckham's corner!
ey, come downstairs.
Your sister's going crazy.
Mum, l can't hang around all day!
l've gotta go!
Mum, where are my keys?
l can't find them anywhere!
Sick of this wedding
and it hasn't even started.
Mum, can you hurry up?!
She'll probably ruin it for me!
That girl is a first-class bitch!
Pinky, you've got so many others!
Yeah, but it was all planned.
Now l gotta get another one!
- Will you get a move on?!
- What the hell's going on?
Get this, yeah?
Teet's bloody sister says
she's wearing baby pink now.
Stupid cow.
l had matching accessories and everything!
Oh, Mum, do l have to go shopping again?
My mother chose
all my 21 dowry suits herself.
l never once complained.
You girls are too spoilt!
Don't forget my dhania,
four bunches for a pound.
And more carrots. l'm making achar.
Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!
Am l asking you two to make it?!
- i, Pinky!
- You all right?
Yeah. What you doin' 'ere, man?
You haven't left everything
to the last minute?
One more day of freedom!
- Where d'you get your contacts?
- Do you like 'em?
Just thought they went with my hair, innit?
My fianc don't like dyed hair.
Still, can't stand here chatting all day.
l gotta go to aling for my facial. Laters!
- Bye, Pink.
- Laters.
Stupid bitch!
Why did she have to get blue contacts?
Now I can't wear mine, can I?
You're mad.
l wouldn't be seen dead in that!
They're all the rage, poppet.
You blow 'em up, just like a Lilo.
Look, this little pump comes free with it.
Pop it in there, in the valve.
Pump, pump, pump away, up it goes.
Then...slip it back in there...
..boom boom!
Cleavage.
And they're perfect
while you're still growing
- cos they lift you right there.
- Mum!
- God, you're so embarrassing!
- They make more of what you've got.
All the girls have bought one
for their daughters.
Well... Well, look, there's the Fleur.
That's pretty. Mm?
And the gel bra, that's a clever one.
No pumping. lt's already in there.
Oh no, sweetheart,
not the sports bras.
They're so plain. They don't enhance.
Well, no one's gonna see them.
No, but it's not how they look,
it's how they make you feel. m?
l really like that lace Lycra one.
Uh-oh, there's your mate.
Let's make this quick, yeah?
I hope his mum wears a cardy
over her three stomachs tomorrow!
- Shut up, she's old.
- So?
All right, Jess? iya, Pinky.
May you have a long life, my daughters!
- verything getting ready for tomorrow?
- Yes, Massiji. Mum's making the samosas.
May God keep you and your husband
in endless happiness!
And pray for me,
that l get a lovely daughter-in-law like you
for my ony.
Mum!
Aww, thank you, Massiji!
O, bye, yeah?
- ow was biology?
- Did you do the genetics one?
The daughter was a carrier
and when she married
she passed the defective gene to her son.
Yeah, l got that, too.
l hope l get my two As and a B for uni.
Come on, Jess.
- You going to the park later?
- l'll try.
Mum!
l've found it!
Come on, Jess.
'Scuse me. That suit...
- Come on, mate.
- Over here.
There you go! Over here!
Rubbish! Come on, boys!
You're such an idiot, man!
- Jess! Fancy a quick game?
- l can't. My mum's waiting.
- And my dad's on earlies at eathrow.
- Come on, we really need ya.
Come on!
Who does she think she is?
Beckham or what?
Can we chest it like him?
- You know, give it some bounce!
- Chest it, Jess, go on. Chest it!
Did that hurt, pretty boy?
l nearly scored from 25 yards today.
Bent it and everything.
l could have carried on playing all night.
It's not fair, the boys never
have to come home and help.
Wonder if l had an arranged marriage,
would l get someone who'd let me
play football whenever l wanted?
- Who were you talking to?
- No one, Dad.
O, Biji and her grandson are coming
and staying in here for the wedding.
Why don't you put some nice picture
of beautiful sceneries
- instead of this bald man?
- Dad!
I'm going to change.
Come and help me outside, O?
O.
..a beautiful Rolls-Royce, you know?
l'll get one for your wedding, too,
if you like.
l just want a little bit.
lt will be your turn soon, uh?
Do you want a clean-shaven boy
like your sister
or a proper Sikh
with a full beard and a turban?
It's only our men that have
a big engine and full MOT, eh?
Nah, man,
the alternator's gone on the Merc!
Just do the carburettor on the Nissan.
l told you not to bother me!
lt's my engagement, man!
- Sorry.
- l know. Of course.
Put it off. Thank you.
- Lads get into 'em!
- Yes!
Mmm. e is so tick, man!
lnnit, innit? l know!
Look! e's taking his shirt off.
Oh, my God. A body like that should
come with an X-certificate warning!
- And a lifetime guarantee, man.
- Yeah, man. Call Jess.
- Call Jess!
- Oi! Jess!
Jess, man, who's your friend
with the gorgeous bod?
The one with the six-pack.
- lf he looks at me, l really will faint.
- What? Taz?
- az.
- ls that his name?
Look at that kick!
- e is so fly!
- That is fine.
That is so fine.
- Get your girlfriend, man!
- Jess!
- Go on, Jess. Lover-boy's calling you.
- Oh, shut up.
You know he's just my mate.
We're not all slags like you lot!
Ooh!
Bitch! Just cos she's still a V, man,
she thinks she's better than us, innit?
Yeah, but at least she hasn't got off
with half of ounslow like you two.
'y, who's that gori watching her?
- Come on, Jess.
- Go on, Jess.
All the way, it's all yours!
What are you doing, man?
- i.
- i.
hat was brilliant.
Do you play for any side?
Yeah, like who?
Southall United Sari Squad?
l play for ounslow arriers girls' side.
It's close season but we've got
a summer tournament coming up.
- You should come along, have a trial.
- A trial? Think l'm good enough?
Yeah. l've watched you a couple of times,
you got on really good.
It's up to our coach,
but l know we could do with some new blood.
- Jess, that's brilliant!
- Yeah, nice one, Jess.
Do you swap shirts at the end of matches?
- And get in the bath together?
- Where's the soap?
lt does, doesn't it, lads?
Let's play football.
- l'm Jules.
- Jess.
i.
Yes!
l don't give a damn what the people say
l'm gonna do it my way,
gonna do it my way
Boom, boom, a bang bang bang
Gonna let it all out
an' do my thing
A boom, boom, boom
an' a bang bang bang
Boom, bang, boom, bang bang
Do your thing
l want two groups, three in each group.
Let's move!
ow do you know she's serious?
l haven't got time to piss around.
- She's got balls, Jo. At least watch her.
- iya.
- Where do you normally play?
- In the park.
- l mean what position?
- Oh, sorry.
l usually play all over, but up front -
on the right is best.
- Get your boots on.
- l haven't got any.
Right, join in. Start warming up.
- Where should l put this?
- Put it over here.
Jesus!
Pass it to Jules!
Brilliant!
- ow did it feel out there?
- Brilliant. Really, really great.
l've never seen an lndian girl into football.
I didn't even know
they had a girls' team here.
lt's all her fault.
l used to play for the men's club,
and she used to hang around whining
that there was no team for her to play on.
l wasn't whining!
Nah, there was nothing here for us girls.
There was, like, junior boys' stuff,
but when he busted his knee,
he set up a girls' side,
and he's been on my case ever since.
They made me start at the bottom.
You can't get much lower than her!
You're so full of it!
Nah, we get just as many trophies
as the men's side do.
So, does she pass?
- Are your folks up for it?
- Yeah, they're cool.
Suppose you'd better come back, then.
l've got to go open the bar.
Some real work!
- e likes you.
- You think so?
e asked you back, didn't he?
- ow long have you been playing?
- For ages, but just in the park.
- Nothing as serious as this.
- This, serious?
lt'll do for now.
l want to play professionally.
Wow! Can you do that?
I mean as a job, like?
Sure. Not really here,
but you can in America.
hey've got a pro league
with new stadiums and everything.
Really?
Can't believe it.
It's a proper pitch with lights,
corner flags, changing rooms...
The coach likes me.
e really knows his stuff.
Must be gutted he can't play
with his injury and all.
Jules is so lucky!
er mum and dad
must really support her
to let her go all the way
to America to play.
l don't even know how to tell my mum and dad
about ounslow arriers.
Will you both pack it in?!
Look at the state of my fuchsias!
Alan, when are you gonna realise
you have a daughter with breasts, not a son?
- Mum!
- Paula, please.
No boy's gonna want to go out with a girl
who's got bigger muscles than him!
- Why don't you just leave her alone?
- l'm not gonna give it up!
l'm just saying that l saw that evin last night
in the high street with a blonde girl
and it didn't look like they were talking
about Match of the bleedin' Day either!
evin can shag whoever he bloody wants!
oney, all l'm saying is
there is a reason why Sporty Spice
is the only one of them without a fella.
- Sweetheart...
- See what you've done?
Why don't you just get off her flamin' back?
lf she'd rather play football right now
than chase boys,
quite frankly, l'm over the moon about that.
- They're a bit tatty, but they'll do.
- Thanks.
ere's a kit.
Don't be afraid to get it dirty.
Can l not wear my tracksuit bottoms?
No.
Shit!
Jess, get changed over here.
- You've met our captain, Mel.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.
All right? You up for a proper match?
Chiswick next.
Best defensive record in the division.
- They're due for a good stuffing.
- Absolutely.
We need some pace up front.
Jules could do with some decent service.
Welcome to the arriers.
Painters and decorators are in.
Jules, take over the warm-up.
Come on, girls, keep going! eads up!
Jess, what's going on?
lt looks awful.
- lt's why l can't wear shorts ever.
- Jesus.
That's a stunner.
l thought l had a bad one on my knee
but yours is gorgeous.
Look, don't worry about it.
No one's gonna care once you're out there.
- What happened?
- You don't want to know.
Look...
Two operations later and it's still useless.
Yours affect your game?
Nah, it just looks awful.
l was eight.
My mum was working overtime at eathrow
and I was trying to cook beans on toast.
When l jumped up to the grill to get
the toast, my trousers caught alight,
so my sister put me in the bath,
poured cold water over me
and pulled them off,
but half my skin came off, too.
Sorry.
l know.
Put me off beans on toast for life.
Come on.
Mine stopped me from playing outright,
yours doesn't.
- No more dawdling.
- Sorry about your knee.
Yeah, yeah.
l'm a right sob story, aren't l?
Come on!
l want to see some sweat on you!
Well, she's all you'd ever want
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt
and take to dinner
And she always knows her place
She got style, she got grace
She's a winner
She's a lady
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
She's a lady
l'm talking about my little lady
Oh, whoa, whoa, she's a lady
Lady
Well, she's a lady!
Oh, whoa, whoa
She's a lady
Go on then, boys, come on.
- ey, ony!
- What are you here for, fantasy football?
Wow, Jess. You look like a pro.
lt's brilliant. They're a top team
and the coach is ace.
xcellent.
- What's that down your leg?
- aven't you seen a burn before?
- That's disgusting, man!
- Back off, you wanker!
No, it's fine.
At least l can still skin you alive!
The skill, the skill!
The skill! Oh, the skill.
That's not fair!
e was touching you all over!
Putting his hands on your bare legs!
You're not a young girl any more!
And, you, showing the world your scar!
Jessie, now that your sister has got engaged,
it's different.
- You know how people talk.
- She's the one getting married, not me!
I was married at your age!
You don't even want to learn how to cook dhal!
- l'm not playing with boys any more.
- Good! nd of matter.
- l'm joining a girls' team.
- uh?
They want me to play in proper matches.
he coach said I could go far.
Go far? Go far to where?
Jessie, we let you play all you wanted
when you were young, huh?
- You've played enough.
- That's not fair! e selected me.
e?
She said it was girls!
- The coach, Joe.
- See how she lies?
I don't want you running around
half-naked in front of men, huh?
Look how dark you've become,
playing in the sun!
But, Mum, l'm really good!
What family will want a daughter-in-law
who can run around kicking football all day,
but can't make round chapatis?
Now exams are over, I want you to learn
full Punjabi dinner, meat and vegetarian!
- But, Dad!
- No! This is where you spoil her!
- What have l done to...
- No, this is how it started with your niece,
the way that girl would answer back,
and then running off to become
a model wearing small skirts!
- Mum, she's a fashion designer!
- She's divorced, that's what she is.
Cast off after three years of being married
to a white boy with blue hair!
er poor mother, she hasn't been able
to set foot in that temple since.
l don't want the shame on my family.
That's it! No more football!
Jessie, your mother is right.
lt's not nice.
You must start
behaving like a proper woman. O?
It's out of order. Anything I want
is just not lndian enough for 'em!
l mean, l never bunked off school
like Pinky or Bubbly.
l don't wear make-up or tight clothes.
- They don't see all those things!
- Parents never see the good things.
Anyone can cook aloo gobi,
but who can bend a ball like Beckham?
Why don't you just play
and not tell 'em, eh?
Pinky's been sneaking off for years
to see Teets,
and now they're getting married,
nobody cares.
What your parents don't know won't hurt.
Why should l have to lie? lt's not like
I'm sleeping around with anyone!
Jess! Jess!
- ello!
- i.
l thought l'd find you out here playing.
- This is Tony. This is Jules from the team.
- i.
All right.
Jess is well made up with your team.
Yeah, we've got high hopes for her,
especially me.
My mum doesn't want me to play any more.
hat's bollocks!
My mum's never wanted me to play.
You just can't take no for an answer.
Yeah, but my sister's getting married
so my mum and dad are stressed out.
l won't be able to get out of the house
for training and matches.
Come on, Jess.
You can't leave me alone out there.
Joe's got an American scout coming over.
Anyway, don't worry about your mum.
Just say you got a summer job.
l could put in a good word for you
at MV with me.
So...
now we've got that sorted,
gonna show me what your fella can do or what?
- Oh, he's not my boyfriend.
- No, I'm not her boyfriend.
Jess, come on! Are you playing?
Jessie! Breakfast!
Nah, l'm in a hurry!
You can't go to work
on an empty stomach, huh?
Where's my keys?
- Jessie!
- No, l'm late, Mum.
Bye!
Hush now, child
And don't you cry
Your folks might understand you
By and by
Yes!
Just move on up
Get those legs up!
Toward your destination
Though you may find
From time to time
Complications
That's it, girls.
Bite your lip
And take a trip
Though there may be
wet road ahead
And you cannot slip
Just move on up
For peace you will find
lnto the steeple of beautiful people
Where there's only one kind
So hush now, child
Good night, Jules.
asy, tiger.
Your folks might understand you
By and by
Move on up
And keep on wishing
Remember your dream
is your only scheme
So keep on pushing
Where is it?
Just move on up
Move on up
Aloo gobi.
Get off me, man!
No one can see us.
Yeah?
Mum!
No, no, nothing,
l'm just at work, innit?
Yeah, I know Poli's
coming round to do the suits.
So Jess can get the tube, innit?
Yeah, all right, all right, l'll pick her up.
l've got to go, Mum, someone's coming.
l'll see you later. Bye.
Nah, my mum and dad ain't got a clue.
hey've no idea
you've been playing all this time?
Nope.
- Where do they think you are?
- They think l've got a job at MV.
Blimey, that's not on.
lndian girls aren't supposed to play football.
- hat's a bit backward.
- lt ain't just an lndian thing, is it?
l mean, how many people
come out and support us?
So are you, like, promised to someone?
Nah. No way. My sister's getting
married soon. lt's a love match.
- What's that mean?
- It's not arranged.
So if you can choose,
can you marry a white boy?
White, no, black, definitely not, a Muslim...
- l guess you'll be marrying an lndian, then.
- Probably.
l don't know how you lndian girls put up with it.
lt's just culture. Better than sleeping with boys
you're not going to end up marrying.
- That's the best bit!
- Yeah, you should know!
Are you ready to go?
See you slags later!
lt's only me.
Mum, l'm starving. l had to work
through my lunch hour today.
Where's Pinky?
She was supposed to pick you up
so you wouldn't be late for Poli.
Pinky, why didn't you pick
your sister up from work, huh?
l went but the manager said
l'd just missed her.
O, Poli's on her way.
l'll make you girls some tea.
- All right. Who is he, then?
- Who?
You must think l've got shit for brains,
lying about a job and all that.
You can't say anything to Mum and Dad.
I kept eet a secret for you.
- e's not a Muslim, is he?
- Shh!
Look, l've been playing football
for a women's team.
uh? lt's worse than l thought.
lt's a proper tournament,
they're real matches.
What is wrong with you, Jess?
lf you're going to bother lying,
at least do it for something good!
Don't you want a boyfriend
like everyone else?
You're quite pretty.
Do something with your hair,
put make-up on, you'd look all right.
Leave her alone. l never wore make-up
until after l was married.
Jessie's a good girl now.
She helped me wash all the net curtains
and she made lovely aloo gobi
last week, huh?
Waist, 25...
under bust, 28...
- Bust...
- h, that's too tight and rude!
No, Mum, l want my choli more fitted.
hat's the style, innit?
- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half.
- No, tighter!
- OK, 34!
- h, how are you going to breathe?
Mum, why do l have to wear
a sari? It will just fall down!
Your first sari
is when you become a woman.
Poli, sari blouse and petticoat.
- So...bust...31 ...
- No, that's too tight. l want it looser.
Dressed in a sack,
who's going to notice you, huh?
Don't worry. ln one of our designs,
even these mosquito bites
will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!
Poli...
Under bust, 27.
The waist, 27.
Mum, l need to buy different shoes
to go with the sari and the suits.
- Come again?
- She's coming into line now!
I can pay for one pair from my wages.
Can you give me money for the other?
You need one black and one white
to go with everything.
l know l make mistakes
l will have to live and learn
Sometimes you play with fire
And sometimes you get burned
l have my dream to live
Following that star
lt doesn't matter how long it takes
lt doesn't matter how far
No time for make-believing
And it's too late to turn back now
Yeah, yeah, yeah
l've been dreaming about it
l can't live without it
l've got to find my own way
l'm not changing my mind now
Or looking behind now
This is my lndependence
Day
My lndependence Day
- Can you change the channel, please?
- lt's nearly the end.
Mum, she's back.
Jesminder, you've been gone all day
for two pairs of shoes! Come here!
lt's not that late, Mum. l was looking at other
things too, like...handbags.
- Let's see 'em, then.
- Not yet. l'll try them on with the suits.
- Let me see 'em!
- ey, come here.
Cigarette?
- ave you been smoking?
- No!
Cigarette!
l've never smoked.
l had to go to the loo
so l went into a pub with my friend.
l had a coke. You can smell my breath.
She might be right.
hese don't even have a heel!
ow will they fall nicely with your sari?
l'll take them back. Give me them back.
Football shoes.
But you can't give 'em back.
l've got to get some proper shoes
for the wedding.
Don't worry about it.
Come over to mine. l'll sort you out.
Come on, girls! Wake up!
God! My mum had a fit
when she saw the boots.
And l smelt like a bleedin' ashtray.
l had to clean all the big saucepans.
Yak, yak, yak, yak! Jess.
- ls everything all right?
- Yes, coach.
Training not getting in the way
of your cosy conversation?
- No, coach.
- Good.
Then l want five more laps round the pitch.
- lbows to knees as you go.
- Joe, that is totally out of order!
ey! l don't remember telling
the rest of you to stop!
Come on, move it. You're doing very well.
Just keep it up for another two minutes.
Good, Mackie! Good, Sally!
xcellent. xcellent.
Jess! You can stop now!
Stop. You're doing yourself an injury.
- No, l'm O. l've just got one more lap.
- l said stop!
Let's have a look at you.
- It's nothing.
- Sit down. Let me decide if it's nothing.
Why didn't you tell me you'd twisted it?
l didn't want you to think
l'm not as strong as the others.
That's stupid, Jess.
Look, my dad was my coach.
And scouts kept telling him
that l was too slight to play,
so he kept pushing me.
That's how l screwed my knee.
Your dad made you?
l wanted to show him l wasn't soft,
so I tried to play injured.
- e was a bit of a bastard anyway.
- You shouldn't say that about your dad.
You don't know my dad.
All right. Come on.
Good. Now put your weight on me.
There you are.
Oh, my God!
Just give 'em back after the wedding.
My mum loves them.
She stuck the bows on herself.
- Oh, thanks. You sure she won't miss 'em?
- Nah.
Listen...
l hope Joe wasn't too hard on you.
- Some of the girls think he's too strict.
- Oh, no.
e was really nice,
just really professional.
l love that picture. lt was taken
just after we beat Millwall last year.
You gotta see this. lt's wicked.
WUSA soccer!
- Wow!
- Yeah. WUSA.
lncredible.
We don't have anything like that here.
Washington Freedom on the attack.
The cross comes in, goal!
Mia Hamm, world footballer of the year!
Milbrett makes a run,
she's got Overbeck to beat.
She shoots! Goal! Tiffeny Milbrett
scores again for the New York Power!
Lily strikes... Save!
Brandi Chastain!
Saved!
Smith beats the keeper!
Goal for Kelly Smith,
the England international!
Anyway, when are you going to tell
your parents about your game?
- Oh, l dunno.
- You can't keep lying. You're too good.
- Cooee!
- Quick, hide the shoes!
- Sweetheart!
- l'm up here, Mum.
Oh, it's hot out there.
Oh! Got company.
- ello, love.
- Yeah. Mum, this is Jess.
Jess. Jess?
ls that...lndian?
It's really Jesminder,
but only my mum calls me that.
Oh, that's nice. Jesmin-dah.
Lovely.
Well, Jesmin-dah,
l bet your room at home
doesn't look like this,
with all these big butch women on the wall.
Thank you, Mum, l'm not old like you!
Jess, I hope you can teach
my daughter a bit about your culture,
including...
respect for elders and the like, eh?
Cheeky madam!
Well, Jess, you're a lucky girl, aren't you?
Cos l expect your parents are fixing you up
with a handsome young doctor soon.
- Aren't they? Pretty girl like you.
- Mum! Stop embarrassing yourself!
What?
Just being friendly.
You don't mind, do you, Jess love?
Course not. Now, are you a friend
from school or work?
She's a footballer.
She's on the team with me.
"Jesmin-dah"!
Did you see her face, though?
- Juliette!
- Jesmin-dah! What was that?
Are you all right?
Jesus!
Jules...
You know Joe,
do you like him?
Nah. No, he'd get sacked if he was
caught shagging one of his players.
Really?
Sometimes l wish l could find a bloke
just like him that wasn't off limits.
veryone l know's a prat.
They think girls can't play as well as them,
except Joe, of course.
Yeah, l hope l end up marrying
an lndian boy like him, too.
- What?
- l'm sorry!
Shut up!
Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.
lt's just that we felt it our duty to tell you.
And now it's a matter for your own family.
You know how hard it is
for our children over here.
Sometimes they misjudge
and start behaving like the kids here.
All I know is that children
are a map of their parents.
- You stupid flippin' cow!
- You've ruined your sister's life!
- appy now?
- My wedding's called off cos of you!
Me? Why?
They saw you being filthy
with an nglish boy!
hey're lying.
l wasn't with any nglish boy.
They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!
Stupid bitch, why couldn't you do it
in secret like everyone else?
issing? Me?
A boy?
- You're all bloody mad!
- Jesminder, don't use those swearing words.
l was at the 120 bus stop today
but with Juliette.
My friend.
She's a girl.
And we weren't kissing or anything.
For God's sake!
- Swear by Babaji.
- l swear on Babaji's name.
Sometimes these nglish girls
have such short hair...
you just can't tell.
They must have made a mistake.
is parents are just making an excuse.
We were never good enough for them.
No, Mum, it's all her fault.
l bet she was with some dykey girl
from her football team!
She's still been playing!
- Pinky.
- She ain't got no job! She's been lying.
Oh, God, why did you give me
two deceiving daughters?
- What did l do wrong in my past life?
- But she's the one that's ruined my life!
Don't think l didn't know
you were sneaking out
with that good-for-nothing Teetu as well!
- Well, just talk to them, innit?
- l will, l'll come and talk to your parents.
And if they don't like it...
Jules, come here to me.
Where's your mate?
l don't know.
This is the second training session
in a row she's missed.
lt's not like her.
Did she say she was unhappy
with anything?
er parents didn't know she was on the team.
Maybe they found out.
What?
She told me her folks were up for it.
l've been telling her to tell them
but she won't listen to me.
l'll get it!
- Yeah?
- ello.
Thanks, Jess.
l'm sorry to barge in on you like this,
Mr and Mrs Bhamra,
but l wanted to talk to you in person.
l only found out today that you didn't know
Jess was playing for our team.
- No, we didn't.
- I apologise.
lf l'd known, l would have
encouraged Jess to tell you
because l believe
she's got tremendous potential.
l think we know better
our daughter's potential.
Jess has no time for games.
She'll be starting university soon.
But playing for the team is an honour.
What bigger honour is there
than respecting your elders?
Young man,
when l was a teenager in Nairobi,
l was the best fast bowler in our school.
Our team even won the ast African Cup.
But when l came to this country, nothing.
l was not allowed to play
in any of the teams,
and these bloody goras in the clubhouses
made fun of my turban
and sent me off packing!
l'm sorry, Mr Bhamra...
- but now it's...
- Now what?
None of our boys are in
any of the football leagues.
You think they will let our girls?
l don't want you to build up
Jesminder's hopes.
She will only end up
disappointed like me.
But, Dad, it's all changing now.
Nasser ussein is captain of
the nglish cricket team, he's Asian.
ussein's a Muslim name,
their families are different.
Oh, Mum!
We've been invited to play
in Germany this Saturday.
lt's a shame you'll miss it.
Wow! Germany!
l can see what you're up against,
but your parents don't always
know what's best for you, Jess.
We're all here.
We're all in, yeah?
Shit!
- You know the score, yeah?
- Yeah, call them twice a day.
Trust me, man,
l'm a expert at this.
- You take care, all right? Laters.
- My sister's covering for me.
- We're supposed to be at my cousin's.
- I didn't hear that.
Uh-huh, make me tonight
Tonight
Make it right
- Cheese!
- Cheese.
Uh-huh, make me tonight
Tonight
Oh, oh-ho, make it magnificent...
Jess! Come on, cross it, Jess!
Oh, your hair is beautiful
Aaah, tonight
Atomic
..Jess Bhamra.
- Go on, Jess.
- Jess. Go on, Jess, you can do this!
Yeah, Mum, l'm fine, Pinky's fine.
We're cooking, er...
- Pasta.
- ..pasta.
l'd better go, Pinky's burning it.
OK, say hi to Dad, yeah?
O. Bye, Mum.
Good. They sound happy.
Pinky will meet someone new
and Jessie will forget
all about this football nonsense.
The dinner's ready?
But let me wash up first.
Call her back in Croydon.
l want to speak to them.
l said l want to speak to them!
O, baba.
Oh, l didn't bring anything for a club.
I didn't know they wanted to
take us out clubbing. l bet it's to gloat.
Mel? We need some help.
Jess!
- Oh, wow! You look good.
- You look good, Jess.
- Doesn't she look good?
- She looks great.
- You've done a good job, Mel.
- Looks good in my clothes.
Let's get a taxi.
ello, darling!
- ow's Jules?
- l'm fine. ow are you?
- Are you gonna dance with me?
- No.
Come on!
Are you gonna dance with me?
Oh, you're such a wuss!
l'm sorry l missed that penalty, coach.
lt's O.
Losing to the Jerries on penalties
comes natural to you nglish.
You're part of a tradition now.
nough about football.
Come on, you're dancing with me.
- No!
- You are!
- Oh, go on!
- l'm not taking no for an answer!
l turn to you
Like a flower leaning towards the sun
l turn to you
Cos you're the only one
Who can turn me around
When l'm upside down
Down, down
l turn to you
l turn to you, ooh-ooh
When my insides are racked with anxiety
You have the touch that will quiet me
You lift my spirit, you melt the ice
The ice, the ice
When l need inspiration,
when l need advice
l turn to you
Like a flower
leaning towards the sun
l turn to you
Cos you're the only one
Who can turn me around...
Jess!
Steady on there, young one.
Are you all right?
Sure?
Gosh.
l only had a couple of wines.
Oh, my head!
- lt's too smoky in there.
- Yeah.
l wish l
Could right now
Wish that l could show you how...
That was so brilliant
the way you came to my house.
You were brave enough to face my mum.
Your dad can't be as mad as her.
Your mam's a barrel of laughs
compared to me dad.
l don't need to feel close
to my family, Jess.
l don't need you to feel sorry for me.
You bitch!
Shit. Jules.
Jules!
You all right, Jess?
ls that your mum and dad?
What haven't we done for these girls, huh?
We bought a car for Pinky.
Jessie wanted computer,
music centre, TV, video, huh?
Pinks...
ow do you know Teet's the one?
l just know.
When you're in love with someone,
you'd do anything for that person.
Pinks...
do you think Mum and Dad would still speak
to me if I ever brought home a gora?
- Who?
- No one. l'm just saying.
lt's that coach bloke, innit? l knew
something was up when he turned up here!
- No, nothing's happened.
- Well, make sure it doesn't, all right?
Look, Jess, you can marry
anyone you want.
It's fine at first when
you're in love and all that,
but do you really want to be the one
everyone stares at every family do
- cos you married the nglish bloke?
- e's lrish.
Yeah, well, they look all the bloody same
to them, innit?
Anyway, why go to so much grief
when there's so many
good-looking lndian boys to marry?
lt's not like before, you know?
Now they wear good clothes,
got flashy jobs,
even know how to cook and wash up.
ey, how about Tony?
l mean, he's been mad on you for ages.
Jess?
- i.
- i.
Was that the club chairman?
Yeah.
They told me they're considering me
as assistant coach
for the men's side next year.
That's great. Congratulations.
Probably won't get it.
Better not to count on anything.
Well, you deserve it.
- Look, I really wanted to say...
- l've already forgotten about it.
Yeah, good. Me too.
Your mam and dad
didn't look too pleased yesterday.
l suppose you've come to tell me
you're off the team for good?
lt's not fair.
l feel like l'm either going to
let the team down or really piss them off,
and l don't want to upset anyone.
Why are they so frightened to let you play?
They want to protect me.
From what?
his is taking me away
from everything they know.
Whose life are you living, Jess?
If you try pleasing 'em forever,
you're gonna end up blaming 'em.
What, like you?
- l'm sorry.
- No, you're right.
I stopped talking to my dad
because we had nothing to talk about.
l spent a year getting pissed,
trying to forget about the game,
but l couldn't.
But l can't just stop talking to them like you.
l don't talk to my dad
because l know what he'd say.
e'd piss himself if he found out
l was coaching girls.
ow do you know that?
ow do you know he wouldn't be proud
that you didn't just give up?
You should be proud
of what you've given all of us.
Then why are you giving up?
- Jeswinder, isn't it?
- Jesminder.
Jesminder, oh yeah, l'm sorry.
l cooked a lovely curry the other day.
Darling?
Oh, you still not up?
Guess who's come to see you.
lt's your lndian friend, from football.
Jules has been ever so down
since you lost in Germany.
Maybe you can cheer her up a bit, eh?
Do you two want some tea?
l've just made some
cheese straws with real Gruyere.
No, it's all right, Mum.
Jess won't be staying long.
Well...
just give us a shout downstairs
if there's anything you two fancy.
All right?
Look, Jules, l feel really bad
about what happened.
Yeah, well, you should.
l'm sorry.
I don't want you
to be in a strop with me.
l'm not in a strop!
Look, it was a mistake.
l didn't know what l was doing!
l can't believe you kissed him.
l didn't.
Yeah, right!
Jess, I know what I saw.
You knew he was off limits!
Don't pretend to be so innocent.
You knew exactly how l felt about him!
You told me you didn't like him,
now you act like you're in love with him!
You don't know the meaning of love!
You've really hurt me, Jess!
That's all there is to it!
You've betrayed me!
So that's it?
Yeah, that's it. Bye!
Goodbye, Mrs Paxton.
What's going on?
That is why she's been
so depressed lately.
Cos that Jess broke her heart.
She's in love.
With a girl!
You're jumping
to all the wrong conclusions.
But l heard her!
No wonder she never looked twice
at that evin or brought any boys home.
l tried to get her nice clothes.
You know, we've had some lovely prints
in this summer,
you know, in swimwear
and sarongs and that...
but she never wants
to go shopping with me.
lt was terrible what they did
to that George Michael.
Going on about him and his private business
in the papers like that.
Oh, no!
George Michael is still a superstar
and you still listen to Wham!
Do you fancy me, Tony?
- I like you, yeah...
- Maybe we can go out, then, yeah?
Jess, what's going on?
l just think l need an lndian boyfriend.
What is going on, Jess?
You're acting all weird.
l'm sorry.
- You know my coach, yeah?
- Yeah.
l nearly kissed him in Germany.
Wow! And that's why you need
an lndian boyfriend?
Well, Jules likes him, too,
and now she hates me.
Look, Jess, you...you can't plan
who you fall for. lt just happens.
- l mean, look at Posh and Becks.
- Well, Beckham's the best.
- Yeah, l really like Beckham, too.
- Of course you do.
No one can cross a ball
or bend it like Beckham.
No, Jess...
l really like Beckham.
What, you mean...?
But you're lndian!
l haven't told anyone.
God, what's your mum gonna say?
- My sister thinks you're mad about me.
- I am.
l just don't want to marry you.
Wonder what all those tossers
would say if they knew?
Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?
Course not. lt's O, Tony.
I mean, it's OK with me.
Yeah, well, you fancying
your gora coach is O with me.
Besides...
he's quite fit!
Listen, yeah? Be back by three.
l can't keep 'em at the temple all day.
- l owe you big time.
- Laters.
- Get back into bed.
- Bring me back some langar.
We're going to pray to God
to give you both sense,
not bring back food for you.
Red alert, red alert,
it's a catastrophe
But don't worry
Don't panic
Ain't nothing going on
but history, yeah-eah
onestly, Dad, l'll go inside and get it.
And the music keeps on playing
on and on
Jessie, it's only me.
And the music keeps on playing
Jessie, my darling.
Jessie? Jessie?
Red alert, red alert,
it's a catastrophe
But don't worry...
Look at her arse!
They don't all look like lezzies, do they?
Check out the boobs on the captain!
Jeez, man, they must get in the way!
She's lucky she ain't knocked herself out,
running up and down the pitch with them.
Why can't you lot
just see them as footballers?
What?
To the side! To the side!
Come on! Move it!
Down one-nil. Come on!
Over here! Over here! Come on!
Go on, Jess!
Jules! Over! Jules!
Come on, arriers!
Me! Me!
Over here, Jules!
Go on, Jess!
Go on! Go on!
- What you playing at?
- Piss off, Paki!
Sod you!
- Go away. Go away. Number 7, come here.
- Did you see that?
What's the matter with you, ref?
Violent conduct towards another player.
No!
You haven't seen any of it, have ya?
She fouled her! That's out of order!
She is so hard!
Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!
Shut up.
What the hell's wrong
with you, Bhamra?
l don't ever want to see anything like that
from you ever again!
Do you hear me?!
We're lucky they're not suspending
players from this tournament!
All right, excellent!
We've got QPR in the final.
- Give yourself three cheers. ip, hip!
- ooray!
- ip, hip!
- ooray!
Brilliant!
Why did you yell at me like that?
You knew the ref was out of order!
Jess, you could have cost us the tournament.
But it wasn't my fault!
- You didn't have to shout at me!
- Jess, l am your coach.
I have to treat you
the same as everyone else.
Look, Jess, l saw it.
She fouled you. She tugged your shirt.
You just overreacted, that's all.
That's not all! She called me a Paki,
but l guess you wouldn't understand
what that feels like, would you?
Jess, l'm lrish.
Of course l'd understand
what that feels like.
Jesminder?
Oh, here he is.
Tejinder's mother and father
have come to speak to us.
- Are you well?
- Thank you, yes.
What's happening?
Teet's mum and dad
have come to eat dirt.
Stupid cow. l don't know
who she thinks she is in that sari.
No mother can stand by
and watch her son go through this.
Well, our Pinky, she didn't come
out of her room for days.
- She was crying.
- Our eetu also.
For days he has eaten nothing,
and drunk nothing!
All right.
Thank you for coming.
Thanks, Dad! Mum!
l'm getting married!
We'll give them a wedding party
they won't forget their whole life!
- Find out which date the hall is free.
- I'll do that.
Jessie, go and get the old wedding cards.
hey're in the extension.
We'll change the dates by hand.
Now, we'll have...
My name is Mohan Singh Bhamra.
..and paneer tikka.
We'll show them we're not poor people!
Yeah, just hold on.
Will Sunday the 25th be O?
- The 25th?
- There's a cancellation.
No, that's too soon, we need more time.
Yeah, just hold on, please.
After that, there is no date available
for five months.
Oh, please, don't let me wait that long!
OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it
before something else goes wrong!
But, Dad, the 25th...
No, that was not for you.
l'm so excited!
Your sister needs you.
Mel said you wanted to see me.
lt's about Jess.
l don't want to talk about Germany, Joe.
- Listen, Jules...
- Whatever! l'm over it!
I don't even know why I was surprised!
You never think about anyone but yourself!
veryone knows
you're leaving us next season!
Nothing's been decided.
Bollocks.
You've already lied about the American scout.
e's never gonna show up, is he?
You can't bear the idea of anyone
else making it, because you can't!
e's coming to the final.
- What?
- e saw you play in Germany.
l thought...
Don't worry about it.
Jess.
We all missed you at training today.
specially Joe. e, erm...
e told me what happened with your dad.
e did?
Yeah.
e's worried he's gotten you
into even more trouble.
l'm really in the shit.
Dad hasn't talked to me since.
e'll never let me go back
to Joe and the team.
But you can't miss the final.
Jess, there's gonna be
an American scout there.
l can't. lt's the same day
as my sister's wedding.
Oh, shit.
Well, can't you get away for a bit?
- You don't understand.
- lf you give up football now,
- what are you gonna have to give up next?
- Don't rub it in, all right?
You came here cos you need me
if that bloody scout shows up.
Look, I came here
cos Joe was worried about you.
l'll just tell him he's wasting
his bloody time.
The teriyaki sauce is the goalkeeper.
The posh French mustard is the defender.
- The salt is the attacker.
- he sea salt.
The sea salt is the attacker.
Now, when the ball's played forward,
the sea salt has to be level
with the mustard.
ello, darling. Right, now watch
and concentrate. Offside, onside.
- Offside, onside.
- What are you doing?
Well, if the mountain
won't come to Mohammed...
- What?
- Don't laugh.
l'm trying to teach your mother
the offside rule.
Well, l've decided that l've got to take
an interest or I'm going to lose you.
This way we can all enjoy football
as a family.
Right. So, don't tell me.
he offside rule is...
when...the French mustard...
has to be between the teriyaki sauce
and the sea salt.
- She's got it.
- Got it!
- Wonderful!
- ave you read all these as well?
Yeah. Oh, do you know what?
One of those ngland girls' players
is a maths teacher as well,
and she's happily married
with a baby.
A-level results...
..A-level results...
urry up, Mum!
Good.
Thank you!
Jesminder aur Bhamra,
BA, LLB,
you can become a fine,
top-class solicitor now.
Clean and serene
Dream
Dream the dream
Clean
And serene
Dream
Dream the dream
Clean
And serene
Dream
Dream the dream
She's not coming, Joe.
- er sister's wedding's on Sunday.
- Shit!
Guess l'm on my own, then.
You'll impress the scout. No worries.
- ow was she?
- A right stroppy cow, actually.
She's really pissed off she can't make it
and she doesn't know what to do.
Go on! ick the ball,
kick the ball, kick the ball!
Three players coming behind you
the whole time, hunting you!
Yes?
l'm sorry to bother you like this.
l don't have anything to say to you, O?
l appreciate it, and l won't keep you long
from your celebrations,
but l wanted you to know that there's a scout
coming to our final match tomorrow.
So?
So, it's the opportunity of a lifetime for Jess.
Please, Mr Bhamra,
- don't let her talent go to waste.
- hank you.
What did he say, Dad?
Don't play with your future, putar.
Wait!
l'm sorry about the final.
No, l'm sorry, Jess.
Got my results.
l'm starting university soon.
l won't have time to train and stuff.
Now that's a shame. I could have
seen you play for ngland someday.
Jules still has a shot.
She told me about the scout coming.
Sorry I'm letting her down.
l asked that scout to come for you, too.
- e's interested in both of you.
- Me?
Why are you doing this to me, Joe?
very time l talk myself out of it,
you come around and make it sound so easy.
l guess l don't want to give up on you.
So, uh, are you promised
to one of those blokes in there?
Don't be silly.
l'm not promised to anyone.
You're lucky...to have a family
that cares that much about you.
l can understand
you don't want to mess with it.
Joe...
And I don't fancy being busted by
your dad again. You'd better get back.
l hope all goes well for you tomorrow,
and good luck with your studies.
Come and see us sometime.
Let's just hope she fits in the car
with that hat on.
We're going to a football match, not Ascot!
You look lovely.
Beautiful.
yes down! Look sad!
Don't smile! lndian bride never smiles.
You'll ruin the bloody video!
- What does she look like?
- She looks like a jar of bloody Rag, innit?
Where the hell is the flippin' Rolls?
Can't anything happen without me?!
One, two, three, four
Yeah, yeah
You gave me something like loving
And took me in so soon
You took my feelings from nothing
Came back at noon
Just meet me, l'm ready
To show myself to you
So if l lose my patience
You must try to understand
Try to understand
lf l lose my patience
Oh, yeah
Cos you make me feel
Yeah, yeah
Cos you make me feel wild
Yeah, yeah
You touch my inner smile
Yeah, yeah
You got me in the mood
Yeah, yeah
So, come on, and make your rule
And free me...
Tony, what are you doing?
We can still make the second half
if we leave now.
You're mad! My mum and dad will go spare!
I've just got to put them first today.
There's so many people in there,
they won't even notice.
l can't!
Look how happy they are, Tony.
I don't want to ruin it for 'em.
- What are you going to ruin?
- Nothing, it's OK.
lt's the final of her football
tournament today, Uncle.
We can pick up the kit on the way, l can drive
her there and back. It won't take long.
Stop it, Tony.
Dad, it doesn't matter. l don't want
to spoil the day for you and Mum.
Pinky is so happy and you look as if
you've come to your father's funeral.
l'm sorry, Dad.
lf this is the only way l'm going to see you
smiling on your sister's wedding day,
then go now,
but when you come back,
l want to see you happy on the video.
Play well and make us proud.
Take these shoes.
Joe!
What's happening?
Start warming up, Bhamra.
We're one-nil down with half an hour to go.
Pass it over here!
Come on, ref!
Ref!
Ten yards, keep going, keep moving back.
en yards.
Oh!
Form a wall! Form a wall!
Well done, Jenny!
ave any of you seen Jesminder?
Jesminder!
Jesminder?
Go on, Jules!
One-all!
Over! Over!
Where does this bit go?
No, you're doing it wrong. Round that way.
Tuck it in. Tuck it in. Tuck it in.
You've got your shorts on.
Where does that bit go?
Lift your leg up.
- Paxton, Bhamra, are you decent?
- Yes!
Oh, is that the coach?
- Who's that?
- Dunno. e looks important.
- Yeah.
- l haven't seen him before.
- Look how happy she is, though.
- l know.
Dad, l can't believe it! lt was amazing!
My eyes just glazed over!
What a game for him to see!
lt's incredible! Santa Clara!
lt's in California!
lt's like one of the top teams!
e even said he could give us
like a full scholarship
which means you wouldn't have to pay nothing!
Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess
there together, the pair of us!
Come on, Paula.
l'm not blaming you, but it is the football.
lt is!
Come on, darling. Come on.
l'm off, then!
Sweetheart, where are you going
in your...in your best trousers?
- Out.
- Where? Who with?
l'm gonna meet Jess at her
sister's wedding to celebrate.
Wait!
l'll take you.
Oh, thanks, Mum!
My God, it's so colourful.
veryone looks brilliant! Look at the car!
- ow are you?
- You look gorgeous!
- Mum...
- ello, Mrs Paxton.
ow could you be such a hypocrite?!
ow could you be all respectful here
with your lot
when l know you've been kissing
my daughter in broad daylight?!
- Mum!
- m?
Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!
Lesbian? er birthday's in March.
I thought she was a Pisces.
She no Lebanese. She Punjabi!
Do you mind, yeah?
But this just happens to be my wedding!
- Sorry.
- ow could you do this, sweetheart?
Get in the car. What is wrong with you?!
What are you talking about?!
What the bleeding hell's going on? uh?
What's that gori going on about you being
a lesbo? l thought you fancied your coach!
l don't know what she was saying!
Jess, don't you want all of this?
This is the best day of your life, innit?
I want more than this. hey've offered
me and Jules a scholarship to go to America.
There's no way Dad will let you
go and live abroad
without getting married first.
- What the bloody hell were you thinking?!
- Juliette, l saw you with my own eyes!
You were kissing after your match!
l'm not stupid, you know!
And anyway,
look at the clothes you wear!
Mother, just because
l wear trackies and play sport
does not make me a lesbian!
Me and Jess were fighting
because we both fancied our coach - Joe!
- Joe... What, a man, Joe?
- Yeah, as in male. Joe!
Joe, our coach! Joe, man, Joe!
Anyway, being a lesbian
is not that big a deal.
Oh, no, sweetheart, of course it isn't.
No! No, l mean, l've got nothing against it.
l was cheering for Martina Navratilova
as much as the next person.
l couldn't understand what
that nglish woman was saying?
Why was she talking about kissing?
l think she got confused
like Teetu's parents.
lt's so hard when young girls
have such short hair.
Maybe we were making too much noise.
nglish people are always complaining
when we're having functions.
Why did she take Jesminder's shoes?
ow am l gonna tell 'em, Tony?
l'll have to now or l'll end up a solicitor,
bored out of my mind.
Come with me.
Mum, Uncle-ji, Auntie-ji...
We've got something we want to tell you.
Why is he holding her hand?
You know how we've been good friends
for a long time now.
We'd like to ask for your blessings.
We'd like to get engaged.
But, look, there's one condition -
l want Jesminder to go to college first,
anywhere that she wants.
Of course, putar!
Well, we have relatives all the way
in Glasgow, Portsmouth...
Mum, Dad...
Tony's lying.
We're not getting married.
Tony only said that to help me,
but I'm not lying any more.
l played in the final today, and we won!
- ow? When?
- l wasn't going to go, but Dad let me.
And it was brilliant.
l played the best ever!
And l was happy because l wasn't
sneaking off and lying to you!
l didn't ask to be good at football.
Guru Nanak must have blessed me.
Anyway, there was a scout from America
there today,
and he's offered me a place
at a top university
with a free scholarship and a chance
to play football professionally,
and l really want to go,
and if l can't tell you what l want now,
then l'll never be happy, whatever l do.
You let her leave her sister's wedding
to go to a football match?!
Maybe you could handle
her long face, l could not.
l didn't have the heart to stop her.
And that's why she's ready to go
all the way to America now!
She's dead, man!
lt's all right, Mum, just leave it.
When those bloody nglish cricket players
threw me out of their club like a dog...
l never complained.
On the contrary, I vowed
that l will never play again.
Who suffered?
Me.
But l don't want Jessie to suffer.
I don't want her to make
the same mistakes that her father made
of accepting life, accepting situations.
l want her to fight.
And l want her to win...
..because l've seen her playing. She's...
She is brilliant!
I don't think anybody
has the right of stopping her.
Two daughters made happy on one day.
What else can a father ask for?
At least l've taught her full lndian dinner.
The rest is up to God.
Joe!
l'm going! They said l could go!
Sorry. l forgot.
lt's O now. l'm not your coach any more.
We can do what we want.
- Joe...
- Your dad's not here, is he?
l'm sorry, Joe. l can't.
l thought you wanted...
Letting me go is a really big step
for my mum and dad.
l don't know how they'd survive
if I told them about you, too.
l guess there's not much point,
with you going to America anyway, is there?
- Mum, it's not perfume, is it?
- No. lt's not what you think. Go on.
lt was your mum's idea.
lt was.
Oh! Thank you so much!
Make sure you keep this
by your bed all the time, huh?
And phone Papu Uncle in Canada
as soon as you land.
At least there's some family close by.
xcuse me, it's getting really late.
You'd better board the plane.
Jess!
Don't worry. That's her coach.
What are you doing here?
hey offered me the job,
coaching the men's side.
- No more pulling pints.
- That's great, Joe!
Yeah.
l turned them down.
What? Why did you...?
They're going to let me coach
the girls' side.
They want us to turn pro next year.
Wow.
Can't keep losing all my best players
to the Yanks, now, can l?
hat's brilliant, Joe.
You should tell your dad, you know.
l already did.
Are you sure we're doing the right thing?
Whatever God has written for her
will happen. Just relax.
Maybe after they've trained you up
l'll sign you, if l can afford you!
Yeah, you wish!
Look...
- l can't let you go without knowing.
- What?
That even with the distance
and the concerns of your family,
we might still have something.
What do you think?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, yeah!
Oh, my God, Dad, it's Beckham!
Oh, it's a sign!
Jess, look, it's Becks!
Cos you make me feel
Yeah, yeah
Cos you make me feel wild
Yeah, yeah
You touch my inner smile
I'm back at Christmas.
We'll tackle my mum and dad then.
l'd better go.
- Jules, take care of yourself.
- Ah, see you later, mate.
- ave a good time, all right?
- Yeah, and you.
Play well, keep your head up.
Come on, you two,
you're gonna miss this plane. Ticket. Go. Go!
See you later.
Come on!
Bye, sweetheart!
Just move on up
Oh, thank you.
- i.
- ello. Nice to meet you.
See ya!
Come on, let's have a look.
- Sweatshirts!
- Look at that!
Just move on up!
Move on up
We move on up!
Oh, child, we'll just move on up
We move on up!
Move on up
- Yes!
- No, no, no.
- Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
- Oh, no, no, no.
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
ow ya feeling?
ot, hot, hot!
- ow ya feeling?
- ot, hot, hot.
l've totally...forgotten the line!
- Feeling hot, hot, hot!
- Sorry.
Sorry.
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
"erself."
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
Feeling hot, hot, hot.
Excellent! Thank you!