Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva La Fiesta! (2012) Movie Script
Hey, boss, what about Chloe?
- Right, right. Okay.
This is the epic story of
two noble chihuahuas,
Papi, and the love of his life, Chloe.
What about Uncle Pedro?
And the pups?
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.
This is the story of
a whole family of chihuahuas.
Okay.
It is a tale of bravery,
treachery, compassion...
Peanut butter.
- Peanut butter and love.
No, Mr. president,
it's an honor meeting you,
but I have to get
the pups ready for school.
Keep dreaming, mi Amor.
Papi will take care of everything.
This goes in the toy pile.
Voila.
Good morning.
Rise and shine.
Up we go. The early dog
gets the bone.
Buenos dias.
Let's go!
- Dad!
- You're up!
Mmm. Peanut butter.
Mmm. Flaky.
Papi, have I mentioned lately
how much I love you?
Mi Corazon, you are my moon, my stars,
- my squeaky chew toy of love.
- Aww.
Gross. We're right here, you know.
All right! Who's ready for school?
Please tell me this won't
involve dirt or bones.
I just had my paws done.
You're a dog!
Dirt and bones is 90% of our day!
- Huh?
- Listen, where I'm from they say,
"anything worth doing
"requires getting a little
dirt under the paw nails. "
Now, come on!
We got a great lesson today.
Last one out has to lick a cat!
- Yeah!
Cats are weird.
- I'm no cat-licker.
You'll be licking a cat.
- I'm not licking a cat!
Ow!
Stupid door.
Okay, that was pep,
Ali, Lala, Papi, Jr.
Wait a minute. Rosa?
Where is he? Squeaks?
I've gotta find him.
No. Not here.
Where are you?
Vamos, Rosita.
Unless you wanna be
coughing up fur balls, I'd shake a tail.
But I can't find squeaks.
I buried him during the scavenger hunt,
and now he's gone.
Ah. I see.
You wouldn't happen to mean
this handsome squirrel?
Ah, ah, ah?
Forgetting something?
Thanks, dad.
Gross. It smells like pee.
I smell Uncle Pedro?
Aha.
You see, mis hijos, long before humans
communicated with each other
through small
electronic devices,
dogs had a simpler, more effective
means of communication, pee-maii.
Pee-maii?
- What?
Let's see.
Single male pit bull, six,
seeks a wet nose with a warm heart.
If you like peanut-butter coladas
and off-leash walks in the rain...
- Bro, are you on stray date?
- Pee-harmony.
Pups, this message
was from Uncle Pedro.
Now, what did we learn today?
- Uh... Uncle Pedro needs a girlfriend?
- This is just embarrassing.
Do I smell churros for breakfast?
Mmm-hmm. I wanted
to try a new recipe. Don't get used to it.
They look amazing. Thank you.
You know, Rache,
now that you finished school,
I don't feel right
relying on aunt Viv so much.
And that probably means
getting our own place.
I just want it to be the right place.
Check this out.
Whoa! "The Langham
huntington Pasadena seeks candidates
"for the following positions,
landscape designer. "
- Sam, you'd be perfect!
- Keep scrolling.
Oh, um...
"Experienced sous-chef... "
Experienced sous-chef?
At the royce? No way.
Keep reading. That's not the best part.
Okay, we get to live at the hotel?
We'd get to live at the hotel!
My gosh, honey. It'd be perfect.
Now, there's just one little thing.
- What?
- Well, we gotta land the jobs first.
Minor detail.
Hmm.
Huh?
- It's Latin.
- I'm Latin.
It means "life, love, pedigree. "
This place is a dream.
I hope Rachel and Sam do well.
Our pups would love it here.
They have the poshest
doggy day school in the city.
Whoa. Hold up!
"Doggy day schooi"?
I know you love teaching the pups,
but, I mean,
the pups always seem to get straight a's.
Do you grade on a curve?
Baby, I grade on the curb!
I teach 'em street school.
I know you're a great teacher.
It's just you know
how I feel about homeschooling.
Homeschooling?
You know what happens when you send
pups off to those day schools?
Pup pressure and ticks and...
And tail piercings!
That's actually
a common misconception.
Welcome to the Langham,
where we're all bark and no bite.
And that's okay.
I run our award-winning certified
canine academy with Jenny over here.
The name's Oscar. What's yours?
Hi. I'm Chloe and this is Papi.
No way! Chloe winthrop ashe?
Cortez.
Aww!
What a wittle cutie-wutie! Hi!
Who are you calling wittle, lady?
Oscar, let's go set up
the welcome bowls.
Gotta make sure our pups fuel up
for a full day of learning
and fun, fun, fun!
- Jenny!
- Oh! Miss Brickhouse.
So what do you teach
at this school anyway?
You cover hydrant awareness?
Doorbell barking?
Do you even teach basic bone burial?
Don't worry about it, little dude.
I got it all covered. High four, bro.
I'm not your bro, dude.
No problemo.
"Thank you for your interest in
the Langham huntington Pasadena.
"Please don't call, text or email us.
"We'll call, text or email you. "
Well, thank you for your time.
Papi, Chloe, come on. Let's go.
Excuse me. That's your dog?
I'm sorry. The lady on the phone said
it was okay if we brought them.
Please, don't apologize.
You see, we've had
a little trouble with business
ever since the montague
opened up down the street.
Montague. Remember, Rache, that was
the place I was telling you about,
with the incredible gardens that were...
How unsightly they are. Total eyesore.
- Right.
We're in the midst of making
the Langham the luxury dog destination,
but we need a dog to be
the face of our hotel.
Hello!
A dog who will attract those
well-heeled jetsetters
and their canine companions.
- I like this guy!
- A dog with style.
- Yep.
A dog with grace.
Hey, when you got it, you got it.
Chloe winthrop ashe.
Cortez.
We need her to make appearances.
Spa treatments, grooming service,
lounging by the dog pools.
A paid socialite.
That sounds right up Chloe's alley.
Brilliant. When can she start?
Sir, it is your lucky day
because we can all start tomorrow.
Hmm. Okay. You've got yourself a deal.
- Great.
- All right.
Great. Thank you.
Right this way to fill out your paperwork.
We'll be right back.
Tomorrow? But I had a great food safety
lesson planned for the pups.
I was gonna teach 'em the five-day rule.
I know this is a big change, but trust me,
the pups are in good hands.
Oscar and Jenny seem great.
- Great?
Have you been drinking toilet water?
Those two are loco.
Look at 'em!
There you go. It's a dog.
High four! Give me some paw.
Papi, we raised five very bright pups
and whatever comes their way,
i know they'll be ready to face it.
What if I'm not ready?
Okay, everyone. It's time for bed.
You'll need lots of rest
before your first day.
Rosa, is something wrong?
- She's been like this all day.
Can you blame her?
I mean, our first day of school.
Uh... I didn't mean that, mom.
I just meant real school.
- Uh... I mean...
- I know what you mean, pep.
Now get some sleep.
Tomorrow's a big day.
Yeah!
- Go faster! This is so much fun!
Go faster! I can feel the wind in my fur.
This is so much fun!
Come on, come on. Go!
- Go faster! Hang on! Gangway!
- Come on, keep going!
I don't know, Rache,
do you think we brought enough stuff?
To what room shall I take these?
Oh, uh...
- Room 318.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Let's be on our best behavior, shall we?
We're hosting a vip just above
your room in the presidential suite.
Amelia James,
editor-in-chief of James leisure,
in town for our garden gala.
The party of the year.
Oh. But you didn't hear
any of this from me.
- You don't have to worry about us, sir.
- Oh. Really?
Am I correct in presuming that
the pups currently go-carting
in the lobby belong to you?
That would be Ali, Lala,
pep, rosa and Papi, Jr.
And you, of course, know Chloe.
Oh!
Welcome back, Chloe.
And you know Papi.
Yes. Papi.
And, last but not least, there's Pedro.
Hold it, bro. Resist!
No, don't!
This Pedro, is he...
He's definitely part of he family, too?
Definitely. I'm sure you understand, sir.
Your family must live here.
Well, I can't say that they do,
or that I have any family to speak of.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to presume that you did...
Well, well, well, no.
Work keeps me so busy, I hardly even
notice the long, lonely nights.
I'm sorry. That must be tough.
Only on days that end in "y. "
- Hey, great suit!
- Mmm-hmm.
I really love the handkerchief
thing you got going on there.
It's hermes.
- It's hermes-ing.
Sam.
Shall we?
Yeah.
- Yes.
Impressive.
Whoa! This is ours?
- Awesome!
This is great!
Hey! I get this couch!
- I get this one!
This place is great!
- Check out this view!
What are we waiting for?
Mr. Cortez, I'm afraid
the only thing they have
to offer you this evening
is our michelin star
six-course tasting menu.
And I hope you don't mind,
but it's all absolutely free.
That should be all right, Mrs. Cortez.
I'll just have to check
with Lester, my assistant.
You get an assistant?
- I get an assistant.
Yeah.
- Oh, honey.
Do you think we could check out
one of these tango classes
in the dance studio?
Thank you.
Thank you!
- Yeah.
The Langham.
You know,
i hear they have a whole closet
dedicated exclusively to peanut butter.
Really?
Wow. No way.
Is that really true?
They've got one shelf
for chunky, one for creamy,
one for sort of creamy
but also a little chunky,
one for all natural,
but no one ever eats those.
Too hard to stir.
What's wrong, mi hija?
First day of school jitters?
You know, I wasn't always the brave
chihuahua you see before you today.
I'm scared of lots of things.
Mom?
- No, not mom.
Who packed this?
Well, yeah, sometimes mom.
But the point is, it's okay to be afraid.
And remember, rosa, there's nothing
wrong with being different.
Different is just
a nice way of saying "runt. "
Ah. But you're not just different,
you're special.
Too special to be like everyone else.
Hey, Papi, this was
in a box marked "do not open. "
Where do you want it?
Yeah, just leave it right there. Thanks.
You were on dancing with the stars?
I wasn't on dancing with the stars.
I was a chambelan, part of an honor
court at a friend's quinceanera.
Is that like
a sweet sixteen or something?
It's better!
A quinceanera is
a very special celebration.
See, on her fifteenth birthday,
a quince steps out from
beneath the watchful eye of sus padres
to stand on her own four paws.
Who else's paws would she stand on?
Let me rephrase.
You see, pups spend years learning.
They're told what to wear,
when to sit, and when to heel.
Tell me about it.
But then one day, the pup,
she stops relying on all those lessons.
What does she rely on, then?
Her heart, mi hija.
Someday, you too will become a quince.
Phillips head.
I'm gonna need a Phillips head!
Wait, I don't even
know how to use a Phillips head.
I'm no expert,
but I don't think you need
a screwdriver to go scuba diving.
This is not a leisure trip.
It's a safety inspection.
Oscar may be their teacher,
but I'm still their father,
and it's my job to make sure
my pups are safe.
Keep an eye on the filter,
i have to go check on Chloe.
They make these things so tight,
I'm chafing.
Yeah, Chloe, yeah!
Okay, now growl like a wolf, huh?
Yes. I think you are part wolf.
Now make me love it!
Now make me hate it!
Now make me confused,
but I can't look away.
Now give me,
"somebody put something in my bowl
and I don't know what that is. "
Mi Amor,
how is your first day on the job?
Are you too hot? Too cold?
Are they giving you
regular water breaks?
Okay, now what is this?
Sweetie, they're taking good care of me.
Oh. Okay, good.
Hey, you know, there are some
beautiful off-leash trails here.
I thought maybe tomorrow
we could take a romantic hike.
You, me, some kibbles, some bits...
That sounds fun, honey, but I can't.
I have a ribbon-biting ceremony
for the new boutique.
Right. Okay, another time.
Hey, chica, great scarf.
Bark Jacobs?
- Pucci, actually.
- Loves it!
- Careful, pool boy.
- Papi!
What?
This is interesting.
I was just telling him to be careful.
It's the polite thing to do around a pool.
- Hey, Pedro! Be careful!
- Thanks, Papi!
See?
So,
wonder how the pups are doing.
Who's ready for a super-duper day?
Today we're gonna learn
how to lay on floatie rafts
without getting our paws
all wet and icky.
But dad always tells us to jump right in.
Shh, Papi, Jr.
dad's not our teacher anymore.
Okay, everyone, find a partner.
We're gonna follow Oscar to the pool.
Yeah! We get to go to the pool!
The pool is so much fun!
Little rosa, remember you have to
wear your swimmies at all times.
I'm gonna learn how to doggy paddle.
You don't know
how to doggy paddle?
Wanna be my swimming partner?
It's so nice outside!
I can't wait to go to the pool!
Yeah, pool!
- Let's go!
Hi, I'm rosa. Nice to meet you.
Aww. Look at the little puppykins
in the little swimmies!
She has swimmies!
Rosa, wait up.
What is wrong with you?
That's just what you get
when you mess with our sister.
Or wear spandex.
Hi! I'm Rachel. Hi, I work here, too.
- Hi. Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi. Hi.
- What is that? Salmon?
- Salmon, yes.
Salmon, no. Do it again.
That, that looks more like salmonella.
Allez! In the corner.
Ah! You. There you are.
The dishes are overflowing.
Allez, hop! Zou! Hop!
The dishes? Oh, uh, no.
I'm sorry. Actually, it's me. Rachel.
- Cortez?
- Yeah. Rachel Cortez.
- Your new sous-chef?
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, chef didier,
it is such a pleasure to meet you
and I am such a huge fan
of your truffled gnocchi.
What is it you are saying?
I cannot hear you.
All I can hear is
the sound of the dishes not being done!
Allez! Zou! Hop!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Were you waiting for an invitation? Huh?
There must be some confusion,
because I was just...
No! Make it shine
or your goose is cooked! Cooked!
"Your goose is cooked. "
Yes, it has a nice ring to it, it has...
Poetic, but firm.
Why is she staring at me?
Are you staring at me?
Are you staring at chef didier?
- The chef didier? Huh?
- Uh... no, no.
So rude!
So rude. No manners,
these young people nowadays.
I'm not rude. I'm Frank.
I'm didier, but I'm Frank.
You know, like direct.
She was staring at me.
Hey! Don't stare at me. Don't stare.
Don't stare at me.
Hey. Hey! You must be Sam, right?
- Yes.
- I'm Lester.
Welcome to the team, boss.
Wow. Looks like
we got our work cut out for us, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Sure do.
Mind grabbing that shovel?
Better start digging.
Ooh, ooh.
I would love to, but I can't.
Carpal tunnel.
- You have carpal tunnel syndrome?
- No. Thank goodness.
- Have you had it?
- No.
It's bad. You do not wanna get it.
Don't get caught in the tunnel.
The carpal tunnel. No.
Hey, great to meet you.
Really, really good.
- Uh, Lester!
- Yeah.
What about these plants?
They're not just gonna trim themselves.
They're not? I like the plants.
It's kind of part of
my overgrown style I'm developing.
Huh?
It's more of an organic... where the
plants just become themselves.
And they live in their own truth.
Papi. I've never been happier to see you.
Do you think you can give me a hand?
Hey, you don't
have to ask this chihuahua twice.
Oscar. Where's he going?
Who's with the pups?
Sam, will you excuse me
for one second?
I'll be right back.
What is this place?
Oscar?
Hello?
What's going on back here?
Hey, what's that gate lead to?
You all right, man?
Hey. Hey, skedaddle.
I thought I told you
not to come around here.
- Oscar, what is going on around...
- Papi!
Hola, amigo. Don't mind him,
that's just Arnie, our resident stray.
- What's his deal?
- Poor fellow's a mute.
So, what brings you around these parts?
You come here often?
I'm working.
Shouldn't you be doing the same?
Whoa! Wait. Was that Jenny?
Who's watching the pups?
What? No, no.
That wasn't Jenny. I know Jenny.
Then who was it?
Who was who?
Who are any of us, really?
Yeah, okay, right.
Listen, I'm gonna get back to work.
I suggest you do the same.
Hey, listen. I don't trust that Oscar guy.
You see anything strange going on
back here, give me a bark, okay?
Hey, nice carving.
You got skills, man. Who's it of?
You trying to tell me something?
All right. Good talk.
Okay. Quinoa frittata
with heirloom kibble aigre-doux?
- That looks delicious!
- I want some!
- Mom! Mom! Mom!
- I want some!
Mom, I want some!
Who ordered theirs
with a side of peanut butter?
Oh, um...
Chloe! We need to talk.
There's something fishy
about Jenny and Oscar. They're...
Kennel cough!
Gee, I sure hope I'm well enough to
go back to school tomorrow.
We need to get you to the vet!
Whoa! The vet?
Uh... I'm suddenly feeling much better.
All right. The only thing
i want you coughing up is the truth.
Mom, please.
I don't wanna go back to school.
Rosa, school can be fun.
Not if you're the runt of the litter!
That's the worst thing to be in a litter.
Hey! No one calls my little girl a runt!
I don't wanna be a "little" anything.
I want to be a quince.
- I'm almost 15.
-15?
- Fifteen?
- She's as old as me. I'm two!
- What are you talking about?
- In dog years.
What's a quince?
It sounds like one
of dad's weird Mexican holidays.
What about our sweet sixteen?
Sweet sixteen?
Who said anything
about a sweet sixteen?
Quinceaneras are the coolest.
I'm not sure.
- I don't know about that.
- I want the sweet sixteen.
- Quince-hubba-whatta?
Dad?
Yes, my little Rosita?
I want a quince.
Well, lucky you.
'Cause your father's gonna throw you
the biggest, baddest fiesta
this town's ever seen!
Did you guys hear that?
Hey! Forgetting something?
Thanks, dad.
Whoops.
Got it!
A quinceanera?
Are you sure you're ready
to let your little girl go?
I don't wanna let her go.
I just wanna make her feel special.
Sam?
Honey?
I'm sure you've had a long day,
but these are like 600 count sheets.
Do you wanna maybe shower?
Okay.
Sleep well.
Mi Amor, I made the doggy bags
and I'm all ready for bedtime!
Papi, you didn't have to
do their bags.
The chef at school makes their lunch.
That's not school. It's vacation!
They'll never have to learn anything for
themselves as long as they're here.
That's why they call it
a full-service hotel.
Mi Amor, will you come out already?
I've been waiting patiently
to see your angelic...
Beautiful, exquisite face.
Remember, my love,
only drink out of your own bowl.
No belly rubs from strangers.
- And if you need me...
- Goodbye, Papi.
I'll meet up with you
and the party planner after work.
I will count the...
Party planner? What?
You don't think
i can handle this on my own?
Rosa said everyone at school uses one
for their sweet sixteen.
- But this is a...
- Party of a lifetime!
Sebastian!
That's right, everybody.
Fasten your chew-boutins
and let the planning begin.
I'm here and I have fabric samples!
And here you'll find
our exquisite, top of the line,
vip pool for you and
your darling Charlotte.
Come look, Charlotte.
Yes, you'll have every amenity
that you could possibly desire
right here at your fingertips.
Poolside belly rubs,
poolside pedicures...
Ginkgo-mango smoothies.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
- Go. Go.
- Poolside massages and...
You call this a state-of-the-art pool?
They can't possibly expect me
to be using the same pool
as the likes of such riffruff.
I meant, for staff and dogs.
You can just ignore this for your review.
Miss Charlotte will have
her very own royal plunge pool.
Charlotte doesn't plunge. She floats.
- Oh.
- On a float.
Uh... yes.
Can you imagine what
chlorine would do to this gorgeous coat?
Terrible things.
She's a defending champion of
the westminster dog show,
not some bottle blonde.
Yes, yes. I... I...
- Will you please show us to our room?
- Yes.
- Yes. The presidential suite.
- Come, Charlotte.
We expect
you'll be most comfortable there.
- I can peel grapes.
- Psst.
Pardon, your highness.
Welcome to the Langham.
Perhaps we could meet at the park
for a moonlit stroll sometime. Hmm?
Oh! Uh... hmm.
Charlotte.
Hey, kids!
Hey! Papi, Jr.? Ali? Pep? Lala?
- What's up, dad? Morning!
- Rosita?
- Hi, dad.
- Hey, dad.
You guys left without me.
It's okay, dad. We know the way.
Hey! Hey, Rosita,
are you forgetting something?
Nope. They have everything
we need at school.
Oscar!
Hey, little dudes.
Ready for a big day?
Yeah!
I think we want a tone
that screams quince, you know?
That just gets all up
in your face and yells,
"I'm a quince,
what are you gonna do about it?"
Doesn't the father of the quince
get a say in any of this?
Of course! Listen, if we need digging
advice, you're our first stop.
Well, what if we had
little chew toy party favors?
You see, rosa, it's so cute,
she carries around
this little squeaky squirrel like...
Like an adorable little puppy?
Papi, sweetie, boychick,
she's not your little puppy anymore.
- The quince is all about letting go.
- I know! I know.
- Can't I just hold on a little longer?
- Papi.
Shh. Did you hear that?
There, there, Papi.
I'll protect you from the scary butterfly.
Hello, we're talking here!
So, we good
on the color tones?
What's that rustling? Oscar?
Just close the door.
You're freaking me out.
We are at the Langham, okay?
It's not like some boogeyman is gonna
come flying over the...
Hey, you guys.
The Langham sure does have
some nice flowers back here.
I can't afford this kind of stress.
I'm gray and wrinkly as it is.
Pedro, what are you doing?
I need your opinion.
The rose says I'm a romantic,
but the sunflower says I like to party.
Okay, spill it. What's her name?
Charlotte James. Like a sonnet.
Nice, bro. She fixed?
I believe so!
But she won't even sniff in my direction.
I hate to beat the pinata of true love,
but we have a party to plan.
Now, when I think about the color motif,
i see fuchsia.
What about you, Pedro?
I see peanut butter.
Uh-huh.
And what about the centerpieces?
Peanut butter.
Fabulous! You're gonna be a big help.
Let me ask you something.
You went to culinary school, oui?
Yes. Oui, sir.
I graduated from the Beverly hills
culinary institute with distinction.
Wow. How impressive.
As a distinct graduate,
may I offer my advice from an old chef?
I'd be honored, sir.
Nobody cares!
Go back to work
or your potatoes are fried!
My God, that one,
i didn't quite land that one.
Okay, qu'est-ce qu'il y a encore?
Chef, I'm afraid one of our guests
didn't like the Risotto.
What do you mean "didn't like"?
This is magnifique!
I mean, who doesn't like magnifique?
Amelia James, sir.
She found it to be uninspired.
- Uninspired?
- Yeah.
What would you like me to do?
I'll tell you what I'd like you to do.
You're going to take this
and give it to her. Go! Allez! Go!
Now! Go!
Uninspired. Uninspired.
These Americans!
Compliments of chef didier.
Our locally sourced
heirloom bloomsdale savoy spinach,
wrapped and folded in layers of
handmade artisanal sheets
of unbleached grain,
caressed in waves of ragusa,
sicilian ricotta,
and drizzled with
the essence of San marzano tomatoes,
picked at the height of their harvest
and flown in from
the valle del Sarno this very morning.
In other words, lasagna?
Bon appetit.
Hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen, please give
a warm welcome to a very special guest,
who will now be regaling us
on the piano.
Oh!
Music.
If music be the kibble of love, play on.
Who said that?
- I just did.
Listen. For rosa's quinceanera,
music is the most important thing.
It's the heart, the soul,
the paws, the tail, the ears...
I get it.
That's why I've assembled
some of the greatest acts in fur today.
Canine inch nails,
motley chew, the fixxed!
Ready to have your mind blown?
First up, put your paws together
for Bob Marley and me!
Jah-jah
- Bo th; Woof
- jah-huahua
- woof
big ears, little dog
- jah-jah
- woof!
Jah-huahua
isn't this wonderful?
"Jah-huahua," they call it.
Big heart, little paws
that little dog-a
go-a park today
him need a walk,
take him right away
him gotta smell,
gotta pee and play
chihuahua dog always
know the way
- jah-jah
- woof
- jah-huahua
- woof
big eyes, little smile...
You'll be humming this
tomorrow, guaranteed.
Woof
- jah-huahua
- woof woof
- big heart
- woof
lot of style
irie mon, pass me a biscuit.
- Aren't they wonderful?
- I don't think so.
You're right. Terrible. Next!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Er... Papi, give it up for black labbeth!
I love the black leather.
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
Ow! Ouch, ouch!
It's just the same three chords
over and over!
Hey, man, you try playing
an augmented fifth with three toes.
Fine, but you guys are
still booked for my winter formal, right?
Two sets, free jerky treats,
no brown m&m's. I got it.
Coming up next is houndgarden!
I don't get it,
but they're huge in Seattle.
I mean, it's just completely rude.
- Yeah, man.
They cut us off like
30 seconds into the song. Cut us off.
Yeah, I mean, that's not right.
I don't think they get
our music in the colonies.
Next!
Throw your tails in the air
for the black eyed fleas!
Great guys.
They used to rehearse on me.
- Such showmanship.
- Next!
Lady gaga and the tramp.
Oh, please.
Next!
There is no next.
You've rejected all of them.
But none of them
were good enough for my Rosita.
We need someone special.
Someone magical.
Someone with soul.
Someone unforgettable.
In short, we need a miracle.
Buenas tardes.
Who are you?
Please, allow me to introduce myself.
I am El senor Diego arroyo
Montoya de marengo.
This is humberto Juan Carlos
Gutierrez de Nunez.
- And that's Phil.
- What's up?
And we are the three mariachis.
Okay, moving right along.
- Can you cover R&B?
- Si.
- Hip-hop?
- Si.
- Death metal?
- Si.
- Klezmer?
- Si, si, si.
Baroque opera.
Vivaldi or bach?
We'll give 'em a shot.
It is a miracle.
I love these guys!
Man, those mariachis
really wiped me out.
How did you get home from school?
I walked.
By yourself?
Where are the other pups?
They stayed late
to finish the polo match.
polo match? Wait a minute.
With, like, a pony?
- How do you even get up there?
- I couldn't.
Oscar said I was too small,
so I got stuck in arts and crafts.
I made you a picture.
This right here is
a good-looking rabbit.
Practically a Picasso.
It's a goat, dad.
Uh...
Hi, honey. I'm sorry I'm late.
I missed you.
Hey, where are the rest of the pups?
I wanna talk to you about that.
I don't like
what the pups are learning at school.
Like what?
Like polo!
These are not good chihuahua values!
And don't even get me started
on this Oscar character.
Honey, the pups love Oscar.
He's been nothing but kind.
Yeah? Well, I got my ears on him.
Remember, mijos,
if you need anything, just bark me.
Any time. No problem is too small.
Dad is here. Completely available.
And Rosita, don't forget to make daddy
another one of your
famous goat pictures!
Goat picture.
What? It was a nice picture.
What the...
Hey! Hold it right there!
Papi. Hey! So great to see you, buddy!
What are you doing here?
The question is,
what are you doing here?
Are you ever with the pups?
Papi, buddy, relax.
The pups are great.
Oscar! Come on over!
I wanna introduce you to someone.
Here, boy!
On my way!
But where were you
on your way to before?
I got a pretty good guess.
Does anyone know you're here?
Of course not.
Because I could get into a lot of trouble.
I can't get
high enough!
Gotta buy me
one of those
trampolines!
Why is Oscar always
hanging around back here?
If only you had some way to tell me.
You're getting pretty good at those, man.
What's this one?
That doesn't sound like Oscar.
Listen, we've got trouble.
They've hired a new dog at the hotel,
and she's here with her pups,
and I think...
- Did you hear that?
- Relax.
You are doing a great job, Jenny.
Jenny? I knew
there was something fishy about her.
No one's that perky.
So, maybe Papi
is on to something after all.
Yeah! Which one's Papi?
Phil, are you even paying attention?
Uh... not really.
Papi better have a real good excuse,
because tardy is not
gonna plan this party!
Guys, guys! I knew it!
That Bernard is no Saint!
It's Jenny and Oscar.
I know it might seem like they're just
manipulative, rude and sneaky,
but it gets worse.
They're also conniving schemers.
Yeah, they seem real suspect,
with their balloons and their hugs...
I overheard Jenny
talking about Chloe!
Sweetie, everybody's
talking about Chloe.
Her face is plastered
on every brochure in this hotel.
Papi, the fiesta fun train is
about to leave the station.
So you can either
get both paws onboard,
or destroy rosa's hopes and dreams
on the most important day of her life.
Totally your call.
All right, I'm on the fun train.
Excellent! Now that we're all playing
off the same sheet of music,
did everybody bring
their dancing shoes?
Huh?
Well, this is humiliating.
But at least he didn't make me
wear sparkly legwarmers.
They're not legwarmers. They're...
Ay, dios mio, they're legwarmers.
Hey, when do we get to eat the salsa?
I gotta get to the spa.
Chloe is there with Oscar.
I need to... I'm good.
One, two, three, eyes on me.
And, uno, dos, tres, cuatro.
It's all about the motion in the ocean.
Feel the beat, feel the rhythm.
Try to be one with the music!
Try to be Juan?
Pedro, sweetheart, give me something.
Give me anything!
I've seen pet cemeteries with more life.
Come on, people!
Let's do a little fosse, a little twyla.
And salsa, and salsa,
and salsa, and chips!
Thank you.
Yes, we offer Swedish,
shiatsu, acupressure...
Yes, we do offer seaweed wraps.
Hang on one second.
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
you need an appointment.
I'm not sure where
the seaweed comes from.
Yes, I believe it comes from the ocean.
Can you hang on a sec?
Yes, we do offer mud baths.
"Will you get dirty?"
Oh, Oscar,
you're kidding!
Whoo! My dogs are barking!
That was some workout? Huh?
That instructor always kicks my tail.
You're really good at downward dog.
Thanks.
Hey!
You might have everyone else fooled
with your whistle
and your unusually silky coat,
but I'm on to you, Buster!
Papi? What are you doing here?
Mi Amor, I was just...
- Spying on me?
- No!
I was just hiding in the mud,
listening to you talk.
Look, Papi, Chloe and I were just trying
to enjoy a nice detox, ya know?
Exchanging juicing tips
and clearing our chakras,
but I'll give you two some space
to talk things out.
Hasta luego, amigo.
What? You don't think
he speaks Spanish?
We'll discuss this tonight.
But, mi Amor...
Right. I was just leaving.
Poor Papi. Trouble in paradise.
I can't see anything!
Everything's green!
Phil! Calm down.
You have cucumbers on your eyes.
Oh! Yeah.
She snuck in!
- I'm not gonna tell anyone.
- It wasn't my fault!
Shh! Dad's coming!
Hijos, I've missed you so much.
Dad! Our friends are right there!
Oh! I am so sorry to ruin your day
with a father's undying love.
Hey, where's your sister?
It wasn't our fault!
- Ali tried to get it first!
- She snuck in!
- We couldn't do anything!
- It was too late!
I was too far away
to do anything, dad!
Hold it! Hold it! One at a time.
Ay, chihuahua! Rosita, what happened?
I snuck into frisbee football.
- Who was watching you?
- Nobody.
That's how I snuck in.
Wait up, hija! Your father
is getting too old to chase after you.
Then stop chasing!
Come on, Rosita. Come back.
Don't you want
to see the moves your father learned
for your quinceanera?
Never mind the quince!
Jenny still won't even let me in the water
without wearing
those humiliating swimmies!
I'll never learn to swim!
- So, don't wear humiliating swimmies.
- What?
I'm not saying, don't wear swimmies,
I'm saying, don't let them humiliate you.
What do you mean?
In a world of big dogs,
Rosita, your Papi is pretty small.
But instead of letting my size
be a disadvantage, I learn to use it.
I made the big dogs wish
they were small.
You are rosa Cortez.
Take pride in what makes you different.
Try this.
That's my little girl.
What did you say to me?
You heard what I said. I said I quit!
Quit? Quit, quit?
Nobody quits! Nobody quits! I...
I fired him! I fired you!
Yeah, your egg is poached!
And you have been replaced by, uh...
You! Cleaning lady! Ici.
I'm actually the sous-chef, sir.
Not anymore. You are executive
pastry chef, effective immediately.
Allez, hop!
- Are you serious?
- Oui, I am serious. I am.
That's amazing! Thank you, chef!
You are not gonna regret this!
Are you touching me?
Is she touching me?
No! No.
Okay, okay. Can you do souffle?
- Can I do a souffle?
- Yes.
Do birds sing and do dogs bark?
Not generally at this hotel.
But, start practicing and make it good.
We have a gala on Friday
and Ms. James likes her souffle perfect.
- Capiche?
- Capiche!
Good! Good.
Our review depends on it. Good girl.
Okay. Invites? Check.
Appetizers? Yes.
Crystal drinking bowls? Fabulous.
Sebastian! Listen. Is your...
Papi. There you are. We have got to
make a final decision on these linens.
Didn't you get my message?
I peed outside your door like six times.
I can't worry about that right now.
Just tell me, is your groomer still
next to the police station?
Because I need you to
give a message to a trusted friend.
Sure, Papi, sure.
Whatever you need.
Thanks, Sebastian. Now I gotta go
keep an eye on that Jenny.
Oh, right.
Because she's so dangerously perky.
Hey, vatos.
When will they
believe Papi?
Will it be too late?
I believe him.
Phil, you don't know
what we're talking about, do you?
Nope.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Sir?
- Yes?
You need to see this.
What? Why all these cancellations?
Why now?
Whoa.
Okay.
Not good.
Uh...
Mr. Hollis! Hey!
What are you doing in here?
And what is this dog doing in here?
I heard a crash,
and after I heard the crash I found this...
This culprit.
He has a very guilty
expression on his face, doesn't he?
Is that my handkerchief?
Do you know this is hermes?
I just don't think he
appreciates fine linen, sir.
You know, Papi,
it's been hard enough here
without getting yelled at by my boss.
I really didn't need this.
Hmm.
Okay, let's see what I got.
"Love will make you do crazy things.
Please forgive me.
"5 P.M. on the bridge of love".
Good!
Perfect. Now Pedro.
You can do it!
Come on, bro.
You gotta take a chance.
You know what, Papi?
You're right.
I need to give Charlotte
the chance to reject me for who I am.
Hit it, boys!
Well, I have never
been serenaded by a pit bull before.
In a bow tie.
Is that good?
Well, she's still here.
Oh.
Dios mio.
Lester!
- What? What?
What do you think?
Oh!
It's finished!
It's sublime. It's beautiful!
Sam, we did it!
We did it!
Okay, all right, all right.
Hey, do you mind taking down
that netting before you head off?
And wrapping up the hoses?
You got it, Sam.
Night, Lester.
- Good night, Sam.
- Yeah.
Okay, rosa. This is it.
You've mastered the little pool.
You can do this!
Does this look like
a puppy pool to you?
Because it doesn't look
like a puppy pool to me.
Do you see any other puppies?
Oh, look! No puppies.
Honey, check the vip tag.
Besides, aren't you
a little small for such a big pool?
I'm big where it counts, ma'am.
That is really cute, honey,
but you don't belong here.
So go on. Scram. Shoo.
Oh. Well, aren't you a beauty?
You don't look a day over seven,
if I must say.
Oh! No, my tag! But I...
Doggone it! I can't believe this.
Ah. Everything is perfect.
How could she not forgive me,
right, Arnie?
I mean, I'd forgive me.
Hey, Oscar. Oscar?
Hey, man, where you going?
Relax, little dude.
You shouldn't worry so much about me.
You should be worrying
about you and your family.
What's that supposed to mean?
Hey! Hey, come back here! Pedro?
Here, Papi. I brought you
a centerpiece for your picnic.
Aloe?
Hello. I brought you
a centerpiece for your picnic.
Hey! Got a new one?
Pedro, check it out.
He's got like a whole collection here.
What is that, a whistle?
Wait a second.
Wait a second! Jenny?
The gate.
Oscar!
Arnie, you're a genius!
- Where are you going?
- The gate!
That Saint Bernard is up
to something, I knew it!
I'll be right back!
No way I'm letting you go
in there without backup.
We'll just have a taste.
Papi won't even notice.
This is it, Mr. montague.
Tomorrow's guest list.
Celebrities, senators, dignitaries.
All the vip guests for the garden gala.
- So I gotta go.
- Ah, ah, ah.
Hasty now, aren't we?
What else do you need?
What I need is to protect
my multi-million dollar venture.
And that means making sure that
the Langham's little gala
hits a few bumps in the road.
Are you hearing this?
Jenny is out to ruin the gala!
I guess you're not crazy after all, Papi.
Thanks a lot, bro.
Ay, chihuahua! Mi Amor!
You are poetry on paws.
I was so looking forward
to our romantic dinner.
Why are there three mariachis eating it?
Chloe, I can explain.
Wait.
Did you hear that?
Someone's in trouble!
Help! Somebody!
Somebody help me. I can't swim.
Help! Anybody! Somebody, help!
The deep end!
Help me! Somebody...
I can't swim!
Come on, man! Let's roll!
- That sounds like Charlotte!
- That sounds like rosa!
I'm caught!
Something's got me! It's a snake!
It's a hose! Who ever heard of
a snake in the garden?
That's why they
call 'em garden snakes!
This is where they live!
Papi! No, no, slow down!
Something big and ugly
is chasing me!
That's me!
I'm trying to get you to slow down!
- Pedro, why are you chasing me?
- Papi, you've got to... oh!
Papi, there goes a tree!
Of all the nights for it to rain!
That's not rain!
You're breaking all the sprinklers!
Who planted all these trees here?
It's a garden!
That's where they plant trees!
Pedro, you don't do well in crisis.
Okay, there goes a statue!
I never liked that statue.
Pedro! It got me! I'm stuck!
Pedro, get me loose! Get me loose!
- Yeah, I got it.
- Let's go! I'm coming, Rosita!
Close call.
That could have gotten ugly.
Help! Please, please.
Help! Somebody help!
Please. Please.
I'm sinking.
Here! Grab this!
I can't swim!
Rosita, are you okay?
- I'm fine, dad.
- You're shivering.
Thank you. You're very kind.
You have
a lot of explaining to do, young lady.
At the pool, at night, without swimmies!
You're the one who told me
to get my paws wet.
Not in the deep end.
I don't go in the deep end.
I didn't have a choice, dad.
You have to believe me.
Tell him. Tell him what happened.
I lost my tag,
and I was just reaching for it and...
Charlotte!
I'm telling you,
Mr. Hollis, it was terrifying.
I could hear them all the way
from the kitchen.
- Charlotte!
- What were you doing in the kitchen?
Oh! Um...
Late-night snack.
- Oh! Thank goodness.
Oh! Charlotte. Come on, Charlotte.
Baby! Honey!
We're gonna take good care of you.
I never in a million years
could have fathomed it.
My eight-time award-winning dog
accosted by mutts at the Langham?
Ms. James, please.
We'll have Charlotte groomed
to perfection at the spa.
She won't even
remember this happened.
She might not, but I certainly will.
I assure you, those animals
will be dealt with accordingly.
What do you think he means?
Rosa, go to your room.
I will take care of this.
- This isn't fair.
- Now.
What?
Boss, we got a bad
situation here. We need to get you...
I'm with a very important guest
at the moment.
Sir, the new gardens
have been destroyed,
and both kitchen freezers have broken.
We need you.
Come on, Charlotte.
We are going to pack
and we're gonna go move
into the montague in the morning.
Ms. James, please wait.
Gentlemen, I didn't quite
get a chance to explain.
I think she likes me.
Uh...
Why did you punch holes
in the souffle with a fork?
What culinary school did you go to?
Give me the name,
and I will have them shut down!
- Something is wrong, chef.
- Yes, and we agree, then.
No, they were perfect
when I pulled them out of the oven...
These souffles are an insult
to souffles everywhere!
I mean, no, this is the worst.
You, my girl,
your souffle has been punctured.
Give me your hat. Allez.
Now.
Adieu, mademoiselle.
I presume you know why you're here.
Yeah. I take it
you've seen the gardens, sir.
I'm afraid I have.
What? Is it the succulents?
'Cause I can take those out.
Sam, they've been destroyed
and covered from bush to
bush with paw prints.
What?
I'm afraid you've left me no choice, Sam.
You're fired.
Does this mean I won't get to
see the peanut butter closet?
But I was just getting good
at Kong ball croquet!
I am not leaving this hotel without Carol.
My paws have never looked better.
This isn't fair. We didn't do anything.
Hey, no paw-pointing.
Rosa. Honey, what happened out there?
It doesn't matter.
It's not like anyone
would believe me, anyway.
Quince or no quince,
I'll always just be the runt of the litter.
Mi Amor.
About our date.
Getting, you know...
Hello?
Interrupted.
Hello?
Chloe winthrop ashe?
Cortez, actually. Have we met?
I'm sorry. I think
i came to the wrong room, anyway.
I'm just looking for that family
with the mischievous little pups.
Have you seen them?
Come on in.
Rock-a-bye puppy in the treetop
when the wind blows
you mean those are your...
My five vips, very important puppies.
Listen, soon as they fall asleep,
come meet me at the restaurant.
But it's closed.
Being a vip has its privileges.
And, hey, bring the big one, too.
Kind of cute.
Although he might want
to stick to his day job.
And that's how rosa
saved my life.
Wow.
Our rosa, a hero. I am so proud.
To rosa!
To rosa!
- That girl's got no fear.
- And I got no clue.
I can't believe I doubted her.
I was so pigheaded
and close-minded and...
Feel free to stop me when you disagree.
You're starting to win me over. Go on.
Corazon, I just wanted
to believe that rosa...
That you all still needed me.
Papi, we always will.
That's one thing that will never change.
You're gonna make a grown dog cry!
Well, sweet as that is, honey,
Amelia's taking us over to the montague
first thing in the morning.
Then let's get to work.
We gotta fix those gardens,
because that's where we're going to
throw the greatest quinceanera ever!
But, Papi, how? We're supposed to
be out by tomorrow morning.
Let's just say
this old dog knows a few new tricks.
Well, then, we'd better fuel up.
Whoa! Hey! Hey.
Officer, everything under control?
Don't scare me like that.
Delgado, thanks for coming
on such short notice.
I got your message.
Anything you need, Papi.
Sebastian, you came!
As if I didn't have to
battle huge bags under my eyes already.
All right, everybody.
Let's divide and conquer!
It does exist!
Hey, show your attitude
make it understood
you're the one who's
changing everybody's point of view
give it all you've got
viva El carnaval
this will be a moment
you will cherish all your life
you've come so far
that's who you are
with all my friends together
we'll, we'll take this night
all by surprise
celebrating
fiesta, party
quinceanera, family
all together
we can be as one
come celebrate with me
I came, I saw, I decorated.
They actually pulled it off.
Boys, looks like we got ourselves a gig.
This party's gonna be great!
I hope there's music.
Oy. Phil. Phil, Phil, Phil.
Yeah?
- Pedro, are you in position?
- Affirmative.
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this, Papi?
What they gonna do, kick us out?
Shh. They're coming.
Keep it quiet, Oscar.
There's no one there.
Now!
Peanut butter?
Hah! Is that the best you can do?
- Pedro?
- Peanut butter!
Get your peanut butter!
Freshly churned peanut butter
over in the South garden!
Peanut butter?
- I think it's that way!
Is it free?
It better be
for what my room cost!
Somebody, help me!
Get off! Get off!
What did I ever do to you?
I was such a good trainer!
I was the best trainer!
I'm late for a grooming.
What on earth is going on...
Get out of here!
The garden gala starts in 20 minutes.
Thank you, Mr. Hollis.
You saved my life.
You're a kind man.
So I've been told.
Now, what's this?
All our classified guest information.
Jenny, where were you taking this?
Nowhere! I swear. It was just...
It was the chihuahua!
What is going on?
Pedro?
Montague?
Jenny! Jenny! Tell them.
Tell them how I just like
to come back here and sniff the roses.
So this is how they manage
to poach our clientele!
I should've known
you were up to something.
No one's that perky.
Hello? That's what
I've been saying all along.
I've misjudged you, Papi.
You're a good man.
Thank you.
Thanks. Yeah, you got your moments.
Papi, you were right all along.
I owe you an apology.
I'll settle for a kiss.
Will you please let me down?
Mmm-mmm.
Psst... psst.
Rosita!
What's going on? What's that?
A little something your mother
picked up for your quinceanera.
Quinceanera?
But we're moving out.
How are we going to...
It's just gonna be a small family affair.
There's a little something in the bag
for your brothers and sisters, too.
Oh. And if Papi, Jr. gives you
any trouble about it,
show him this.
No, it's okay. I completely understand.
I love you. Bye.
Well, aunt Viv rented the guest house.
But I guess, on the bright side,
there are worse streets
to sleep on than Beverly hills.
I'm sorry, Rache.
I wanted to start a life of our own.
- Sam.
- It's my fault.
I was the one that
pushed for the move.
Sam, you gotta see this.
It's like an angel fell from heaven,
and grew fur.
Places, everybody!
The quince and her honor court
are coming.
Everyone's going to make fun of me.
I think it looks very chic.
Yeah, if it were 1972!
Don't worry.
Dad said it's just going
to be a family thing.
Presenting our quince,
rosa Cortez and her honor court!
Cool!
Isn't she pretty?
Aren't they adorable?
- So cute.
I love the dress.
Oh, my God.
Rosa's all grown up now.
Oh! Look at Papi, Jr. in his suit.
Need a tissue, bro?
Just a bug in my eye, that's all.
Move over.
Rosa,
before we go any further,
I got one more little surprise.
Amigos!
I may have mentioned to a few pups
how you saved Charlotte.
Why is everyone wearing swimmies?
The question is, why aren't you?
I can't believe all of this is for me.
Rosa, you're not only
the bravest dog I know,
you are also the coolest pup in school.
So, go on, sweetheart. Soak it up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
time for the brindis,
the traditional toast
of the quinceanera...
I'm sorry...
Given by the father of the quince,
senor Papi Cortez.
Friends, family,
today we celebrate
the quinceanera of rosa,
who I am so proud to call my daughter.
Rosa has shown determination
in the face of adversity
and heroism in the face of danger.
She was given peanuts,
and she made peanut butter.
And most importantly,
she stopped listening to everyone
who told her what she couldn't do
and started listening inside
to discover all that she could.
She even taught her old dad
there's a time to hang on
and a time to let go.
And she didn't need this party
to become a true quinceanera.
She already was.
To rosa!
- To rosa!
To rosa!
This isn't the goldberg bar mitzvah.
This is like the coolest party
i have ever been to.
Dad, is it too late for us
to become quinces, too?
Oh, pep, it is never too late.
Oh, my God. It's beautiful.
But how?
Sam, we never got to tango, did we?
What?
I... no, I guess we didn't.
I'm sorry, Rache.
Don't be. Let's dance!
I told you not to order
the huevos rancheros!
We're late for the gig!
Excusez-moi, excusez-moi.
You are on my foot, buddy.
That was my toe. My toe!
Mademoiselle, mademoiselle, uh...
Whatever.
Executive dishwasher chef.
Rachel.
It's a mob scene. It's a mob scene.
This is the biggest gala in the
Langham's history, and I need your...
I need your...
I need your help! Please!
I'm gonna need that hat.
My toque?
No, no.
Okay, okay, you can have my toque!
And my job?
- Yes!
Let's go! Come on! Let's go!
Rachel, on y va, allez.
Chef didier coming through!
Chef Rachel coming through!
No, no, sous-chef.
Sous-chef Rachel.
I've got the hat. Chef.
Mine is bigger than yours.
It's not like
Charlotte to disappear.
Ms. James, don't worry.
I just saw her back here.
Must've been a pretty big reward, huh?
Reward? For what?
The little chihuahua.
The one that saved your dog.
Excuse me?
Out in the pool. Didn't you hear?
Take my bags back up
to the penthouse.
But who will take care of the dogs
when I'm gone?
Officer sims?
They're the ones who will suffer.
Is that what you want,
to punish innocent little doggies?
I've never seen that woman
before in my life.
Tell it to the judge.
Okay.
Watch your tail!
I can't go to jail!
I've never even been crated!
I can't take enclosed spaces!
Come on!
Throw me a bone here. I'm innocent!
Come on, man!
If the collar don't fit, you must acquit.
You want an alibi?
I can give you an alibi.
I got as many as you want.
I can't eat prison food, man!
I got a gluten-free kosher diet!
Mr. Cortez.
Well, I don't know how you did it,
but these gardens
are nothing short of exquisite.
I hope you'll accept my apologies,
along with a permanent
contract with the hotel.
Are you...
Sure, go ahead. Just the once.
All right. Don't touch me anymore.
- That's fine.
- Okay.
This one is for rosa.
Thank you all so much
for coming to our fiesta today,
especially those of you who schlepped
all the way from the 90210.
I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry.
That wraps up
the quinceanera of mi hija rosa.
Dad, aren't you forgetting something?
Forgetting something?
Rosita, I got the band.
I took salsa lessons.
We decorated the garden.
What did I possibly forget?
This.
That's sweet.
That is sweet.
I think I'd like to have
some puppies soon.
Hmm?
That's not all you forgot.
Now that Sam got his job back
and we can stay,
and now that Oscar's gone,
they need a new teacher at school.
You didn't ask
who's been chosen to replace him.
You mean...
Congratulations, Professor.
Awesome!
- I'm sitting in front!
Now we can get
our paws wet!
I want to learn
to salsa and chips.
You're gonna be
the best teacher ever!
Papi likes.
- Goodbye, polo, hello, pollo.
Now we can master pee-mail!
And so the Cortez family
lived happily ever after.
At least until Pedro got a vip tag
and locked himself
in the peanut butter closet.
But that's another story.
You really stepped
up to the bowl today, Papi.
Sebastian! Don't let 'em
pack up that Margarita machine!
Papi, you're a good dad,
a good friend, and a good dog.
They don't appreciate
classic dog band music here. You know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I'm talking about pee-52s,
the Rex pistols.
Reo taii-waggin'.
Yeah, yeah, good band, good band.
- New odor.
- Yeah.
- Right? Iggy pup.
- Right.
He's a little violent on stage.
The fur flew, but that was,
you know, part of the magic.
Collie Parton is one of
my personal favorites.
I'm not into the country so much myself,
but yeah, I respect her.
No, you don't know what
you're missing there, and...
She's got a lot of fur. Big, big fur,
like blown out every night
before she goes on.
Coldspay.
They got a little into the treats
in the later years, yeah?
Yeah, that's true. They were up to like
30-40 treats a day, actually.
It ruined them.
You know, cheap tick.
- Earth, wind and fur.
- Rage against the vacuum cleaner.
Great band. Did you see that?
- Nice tail.
- Fancy a bit of that.
Well, hey there.
Well, who do you belong to?
No one? Yeah, well, I know the feeling.
There, there, boy.
Front desk? Hollis.
Yes, sir.
I have a dog here
who's gonna be needing a new hotel tag.
- What room, sir?
- Which room?
Manager's suite.
Yes, sir.
You are a handsome devil, aren't you?
Every pet
deserves a loving and permanent home.
So when you choose to adopt,
please adopt responsibly.
Gracias, and thank you.
You'll be humming
this tomorrow, guaranteed.
- Right, right. Okay.
This is the epic story of
two noble chihuahuas,
Papi, and the love of his life, Chloe.
What about Uncle Pedro?
And the pups?
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.
This is the story of
a whole family of chihuahuas.
Okay.
It is a tale of bravery,
treachery, compassion...
Peanut butter.
- Peanut butter and love.
No, Mr. president,
it's an honor meeting you,
but I have to get
the pups ready for school.
Keep dreaming, mi Amor.
Papi will take care of everything.
This goes in the toy pile.
Voila.
Good morning.
Rise and shine.
Up we go. The early dog
gets the bone.
Buenos dias.
Let's go!
- Dad!
- You're up!
Mmm. Peanut butter.
Mmm. Flaky.
Papi, have I mentioned lately
how much I love you?
Mi Corazon, you are my moon, my stars,
- my squeaky chew toy of love.
- Aww.
Gross. We're right here, you know.
All right! Who's ready for school?
Please tell me this won't
involve dirt or bones.
I just had my paws done.
You're a dog!
Dirt and bones is 90% of our day!
- Huh?
- Listen, where I'm from they say,
"anything worth doing
"requires getting a little
dirt under the paw nails. "
Now, come on!
We got a great lesson today.
Last one out has to lick a cat!
- Yeah!
Cats are weird.
- I'm no cat-licker.
You'll be licking a cat.
- I'm not licking a cat!
Ow!
Stupid door.
Okay, that was pep,
Ali, Lala, Papi, Jr.
Wait a minute. Rosa?
Where is he? Squeaks?
I've gotta find him.
No. Not here.
Where are you?
Vamos, Rosita.
Unless you wanna be
coughing up fur balls, I'd shake a tail.
But I can't find squeaks.
I buried him during the scavenger hunt,
and now he's gone.
Ah. I see.
You wouldn't happen to mean
this handsome squirrel?
Ah, ah, ah?
Forgetting something?
Thanks, dad.
Gross. It smells like pee.
I smell Uncle Pedro?
Aha.
You see, mis hijos, long before humans
communicated with each other
through small
electronic devices,
dogs had a simpler, more effective
means of communication, pee-maii.
Pee-maii?
- What?
Let's see.
Single male pit bull, six,
seeks a wet nose with a warm heart.
If you like peanut-butter coladas
and off-leash walks in the rain...
- Bro, are you on stray date?
- Pee-harmony.
Pups, this message
was from Uncle Pedro.
Now, what did we learn today?
- Uh... Uncle Pedro needs a girlfriend?
- This is just embarrassing.
Do I smell churros for breakfast?
Mmm-hmm. I wanted
to try a new recipe. Don't get used to it.
They look amazing. Thank you.
You know, Rache,
now that you finished school,
I don't feel right
relying on aunt Viv so much.
And that probably means
getting our own place.
I just want it to be the right place.
Check this out.
Whoa! "The Langham
huntington Pasadena seeks candidates
"for the following positions,
landscape designer. "
- Sam, you'd be perfect!
- Keep scrolling.
Oh, um...
"Experienced sous-chef... "
Experienced sous-chef?
At the royce? No way.
Keep reading. That's not the best part.
Okay, we get to live at the hotel?
We'd get to live at the hotel!
My gosh, honey. It'd be perfect.
Now, there's just one little thing.
- What?
- Well, we gotta land the jobs first.
Minor detail.
Hmm.
Huh?
- It's Latin.
- I'm Latin.
It means "life, love, pedigree. "
This place is a dream.
I hope Rachel and Sam do well.
Our pups would love it here.
They have the poshest
doggy day school in the city.
Whoa. Hold up!
"Doggy day schooi"?
I know you love teaching the pups,
but, I mean,
the pups always seem to get straight a's.
Do you grade on a curve?
Baby, I grade on the curb!
I teach 'em street school.
I know you're a great teacher.
It's just you know
how I feel about homeschooling.
Homeschooling?
You know what happens when you send
pups off to those day schools?
Pup pressure and ticks and...
And tail piercings!
That's actually
a common misconception.
Welcome to the Langham,
where we're all bark and no bite.
And that's okay.
I run our award-winning certified
canine academy with Jenny over here.
The name's Oscar. What's yours?
Hi. I'm Chloe and this is Papi.
No way! Chloe winthrop ashe?
Cortez.
Aww!
What a wittle cutie-wutie! Hi!
Who are you calling wittle, lady?
Oscar, let's go set up
the welcome bowls.
Gotta make sure our pups fuel up
for a full day of learning
and fun, fun, fun!
- Jenny!
- Oh! Miss Brickhouse.
So what do you teach
at this school anyway?
You cover hydrant awareness?
Doorbell barking?
Do you even teach basic bone burial?
Don't worry about it, little dude.
I got it all covered. High four, bro.
I'm not your bro, dude.
No problemo.
"Thank you for your interest in
the Langham huntington Pasadena.
"Please don't call, text or email us.
"We'll call, text or email you. "
Well, thank you for your time.
Papi, Chloe, come on. Let's go.
Excuse me. That's your dog?
I'm sorry. The lady on the phone said
it was okay if we brought them.
Please, don't apologize.
You see, we've had
a little trouble with business
ever since the montague
opened up down the street.
Montague. Remember, Rache, that was
the place I was telling you about,
with the incredible gardens that were...
How unsightly they are. Total eyesore.
- Right.
We're in the midst of making
the Langham the luxury dog destination,
but we need a dog to be
the face of our hotel.
Hello!
A dog who will attract those
well-heeled jetsetters
and their canine companions.
- I like this guy!
- A dog with style.
- Yep.
A dog with grace.
Hey, when you got it, you got it.
Chloe winthrop ashe.
Cortez.
We need her to make appearances.
Spa treatments, grooming service,
lounging by the dog pools.
A paid socialite.
That sounds right up Chloe's alley.
Brilliant. When can she start?
Sir, it is your lucky day
because we can all start tomorrow.
Hmm. Okay. You've got yourself a deal.
- Great.
- All right.
Great. Thank you.
Right this way to fill out your paperwork.
We'll be right back.
Tomorrow? But I had a great food safety
lesson planned for the pups.
I was gonna teach 'em the five-day rule.
I know this is a big change, but trust me,
the pups are in good hands.
Oscar and Jenny seem great.
- Great?
Have you been drinking toilet water?
Those two are loco.
Look at 'em!
There you go. It's a dog.
High four! Give me some paw.
Papi, we raised five very bright pups
and whatever comes their way,
i know they'll be ready to face it.
What if I'm not ready?
Okay, everyone. It's time for bed.
You'll need lots of rest
before your first day.
Rosa, is something wrong?
- She's been like this all day.
Can you blame her?
I mean, our first day of school.
Uh... I didn't mean that, mom.
I just meant real school.
- Uh... I mean...
- I know what you mean, pep.
Now get some sleep.
Tomorrow's a big day.
Yeah!
- Go faster! This is so much fun!
Go faster! I can feel the wind in my fur.
This is so much fun!
Come on, come on. Go!
- Go faster! Hang on! Gangway!
- Come on, keep going!
I don't know, Rache,
do you think we brought enough stuff?
To what room shall I take these?
Oh, uh...
- Room 318.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Let's be on our best behavior, shall we?
We're hosting a vip just above
your room in the presidential suite.
Amelia James,
editor-in-chief of James leisure,
in town for our garden gala.
The party of the year.
Oh. But you didn't hear
any of this from me.
- You don't have to worry about us, sir.
- Oh. Really?
Am I correct in presuming that
the pups currently go-carting
in the lobby belong to you?
That would be Ali, Lala,
pep, rosa and Papi, Jr.
And you, of course, know Chloe.
Oh!
Welcome back, Chloe.
And you know Papi.
Yes. Papi.
And, last but not least, there's Pedro.
Hold it, bro. Resist!
No, don't!
This Pedro, is he...
He's definitely part of he family, too?
Definitely. I'm sure you understand, sir.
Your family must live here.
Well, I can't say that they do,
or that I have any family to speak of.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to presume that you did...
Well, well, well, no.
Work keeps me so busy, I hardly even
notice the long, lonely nights.
I'm sorry. That must be tough.
Only on days that end in "y. "
- Hey, great suit!
- Mmm-hmm.
I really love the handkerchief
thing you got going on there.
It's hermes.
- It's hermes-ing.
Sam.
Shall we?
Yeah.
- Yes.
Impressive.
Whoa! This is ours?
- Awesome!
This is great!
Hey! I get this couch!
- I get this one!
This place is great!
- Check out this view!
What are we waiting for?
Mr. Cortez, I'm afraid
the only thing they have
to offer you this evening
is our michelin star
six-course tasting menu.
And I hope you don't mind,
but it's all absolutely free.
That should be all right, Mrs. Cortez.
I'll just have to check
with Lester, my assistant.
You get an assistant?
- I get an assistant.
Yeah.
- Oh, honey.
Do you think we could check out
one of these tango classes
in the dance studio?
Thank you.
Thank you!
- Yeah.
The Langham.
You know,
i hear they have a whole closet
dedicated exclusively to peanut butter.
Really?
Wow. No way.
Is that really true?
They've got one shelf
for chunky, one for creamy,
one for sort of creamy
but also a little chunky,
one for all natural,
but no one ever eats those.
Too hard to stir.
What's wrong, mi hija?
First day of school jitters?
You know, I wasn't always the brave
chihuahua you see before you today.
I'm scared of lots of things.
Mom?
- No, not mom.
Who packed this?
Well, yeah, sometimes mom.
But the point is, it's okay to be afraid.
And remember, rosa, there's nothing
wrong with being different.
Different is just
a nice way of saying "runt. "
Ah. But you're not just different,
you're special.
Too special to be like everyone else.
Hey, Papi, this was
in a box marked "do not open. "
Where do you want it?
Yeah, just leave it right there. Thanks.
You were on dancing with the stars?
I wasn't on dancing with the stars.
I was a chambelan, part of an honor
court at a friend's quinceanera.
Is that like
a sweet sixteen or something?
It's better!
A quinceanera is
a very special celebration.
See, on her fifteenth birthday,
a quince steps out from
beneath the watchful eye of sus padres
to stand on her own four paws.
Who else's paws would she stand on?
Let me rephrase.
You see, pups spend years learning.
They're told what to wear,
when to sit, and when to heel.
Tell me about it.
But then one day, the pup,
she stops relying on all those lessons.
What does she rely on, then?
Her heart, mi hija.
Someday, you too will become a quince.
Phillips head.
I'm gonna need a Phillips head!
Wait, I don't even
know how to use a Phillips head.
I'm no expert,
but I don't think you need
a screwdriver to go scuba diving.
This is not a leisure trip.
It's a safety inspection.
Oscar may be their teacher,
but I'm still their father,
and it's my job to make sure
my pups are safe.
Keep an eye on the filter,
i have to go check on Chloe.
They make these things so tight,
I'm chafing.
Yeah, Chloe, yeah!
Okay, now growl like a wolf, huh?
Yes. I think you are part wolf.
Now make me love it!
Now make me hate it!
Now make me confused,
but I can't look away.
Now give me,
"somebody put something in my bowl
and I don't know what that is. "
Mi Amor,
how is your first day on the job?
Are you too hot? Too cold?
Are they giving you
regular water breaks?
Okay, now what is this?
Sweetie, they're taking good care of me.
Oh. Okay, good.
Hey, you know, there are some
beautiful off-leash trails here.
I thought maybe tomorrow
we could take a romantic hike.
You, me, some kibbles, some bits...
That sounds fun, honey, but I can't.
I have a ribbon-biting ceremony
for the new boutique.
Right. Okay, another time.
Hey, chica, great scarf.
Bark Jacobs?
- Pucci, actually.
- Loves it!
- Careful, pool boy.
- Papi!
What?
This is interesting.
I was just telling him to be careful.
It's the polite thing to do around a pool.
- Hey, Pedro! Be careful!
- Thanks, Papi!
See?
So,
wonder how the pups are doing.
Who's ready for a super-duper day?
Today we're gonna learn
how to lay on floatie rafts
without getting our paws
all wet and icky.
But dad always tells us to jump right in.
Shh, Papi, Jr.
dad's not our teacher anymore.
Okay, everyone, find a partner.
We're gonna follow Oscar to the pool.
Yeah! We get to go to the pool!
The pool is so much fun!
Little rosa, remember you have to
wear your swimmies at all times.
I'm gonna learn how to doggy paddle.
You don't know
how to doggy paddle?
Wanna be my swimming partner?
It's so nice outside!
I can't wait to go to the pool!
Yeah, pool!
- Let's go!
Hi, I'm rosa. Nice to meet you.
Aww. Look at the little puppykins
in the little swimmies!
She has swimmies!
Rosa, wait up.
What is wrong with you?
That's just what you get
when you mess with our sister.
Or wear spandex.
Hi! I'm Rachel. Hi, I work here, too.
- Hi. Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi. Hi.
- What is that? Salmon?
- Salmon, yes.
Salmon, no. Do it again.
That, that looks more like salmonella.
Allez! In the corner.
Ah! You. There you are.
The dishes are overflowing.
Allez, hop! Zou! Hop!
The dishes? Oh, uh, no.
I'm sorry. Actually, it's me. Rachel.
- Cortez?
- Yeah. Rachel Cortez.
- Your new sous-chef?
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, chef didier,
it is such a pleasure to meet you
and I am such a huge fan
of your truffled gnocchi.
What is it you are saying?
I cannot hear you.
All I can hear is
the sound of the dishes not being done!
Allez! Zou! Hop!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Were you waiting for an invitation? Huh?
There must be some confusion,
because I was just...
No! Make it shine
or your goose is cooked! Cooked!
"Your goose is cooked. "
Yes, it has a nice ring to it, it has...
Poetic, but firm.
Why is she staring at me?
Are you staring at me?
Are you staring at chef didier?
- The chef didier? Huh?
- Uh... no, no.
So rude!
So rude. No manners,
these young people nowadays.
I'm not rude. I'm Frank.
I'm didier, but I'm Frank.
You know, like direct.
She was staring at me.
Hey! Don't stare at me. Don't stare.
Don't stare at me.
Hey. Hey! You must be Sam, right?
- Yes.
- I'm Lester.
Welcome to the team, boss.
Wow. Looks like
we got our work cut out for us, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Sure do.
Mind grabbing that shovel?
Better start digging.
Ooh, ooh.
I would love to, but I can't.
Carpal tunnel.
- You have carpal tunnel syndrome?
- No. Thank goodness.
- Have you had it?
- No.
It's bad. You do not wanna get it.
Don't get caught in the tunnel.
The carpal tunnel. No.
Hey, great to meet you.
Really, really good.
- Uh, Lester!
- Yeah.
What about these plants?
They're not just gonna trim themselves.
They're not? I like the plants.
It's kind of part of
my overgrown style I'm developing.
Huh?
It's more of an organic... where the
plants just become themselves.
And they live in their own truth.
Papi. I've never been happier to see you.
Do you think you can give me a hand?
Hey, you don't
have to ask this chihuahua twice.
Oscar. Where's he going?
Who's with the pups?
Sam, will you excuse me
for one second?
I'll be right back.
What is this place?
Oscar?
Hello?
What's going on back here?
Hey, what's that gate lead to?
You all right, man?
Hey. Hey, skedaddle.
I thought I told you
not to come around here.
- Oscar, what is going on around...
- Papi!
Hola, amigo. Don't mind him,
that's just Arnie, our resident stray.
- What's his deal?
- Poor fellow's a mute.
So, what brings you around these parts?
You come here often?
I'm working.
Shouldn't you be doing the same?
Whoa! Wait. Was that Jenny?
Who's watching the pups?
What? No, no.
That wasn't Jenny. I know Jenny.
Then who was it?
Who was who?
Who are any of us, really?
Yeah, okay, right.
Listen, I'm gonna get back to work.
I suggest you do the same.
Hey, listen. I don't trust that Oscar guy.
You see anything strange going on
back here, give me a bark, okay?
Hey, nice carving.
You got skills, man. Who's it of?
You trying to tell me something?
All right. Good talk.
Okay. Quinoa frittata
with heirloom kibble aigre-doux?
- That looks delicious!
- I want some!
- Mom! Mom! Mom!
- I want some!
Mom, I want some!
Who ordered theirs
with a side of peanut butter?
Oh, um...
Chloe! We need to talk.
There's something fishy
about Jenny and Oscar. They're...
Kennel cough!
Gee, I sure hope I'm well enough to
go back to school tomorrow.
We need to get you to the vet!
Whoa! The vet?
Uh... I'm suddenly feeling much better.
All right. The only thing
i want you coughing up is the truth.
Mom, please.
I don't wanna go back to school.
Rosa, school can be fun.
Not if you're the runt of the litter!
That's the worst thing to be in a litter.
Hey! No one calls my little girl a runt!
I don't wanna be a "little" anything.
I want to be a quince.
- I'm almost 15.
-15?
- Fifteen?
- She's as old as me. I'm two!
- What are you talking about?
- In dog years.
What's a quince?
It sounds like one
of dad's weird Mexican holidays.
What about our sweet sixteen?
Sweet sixteen?
Who said anything
about a sweet sixteen?
Quinceaneras are the coolest.
I'm not sure.
- I don't know about that.
- I want the sweet sixteen.
- Quince-hubba-whatta?
Dad?
Yes, my little Rosita?
I want a quince.
Well, lucky you.
'Cause your father's gonna throw you
the biggest, baddest fiesta
this town's ever seen!
Did you guys hear that?
Hey! Forgetting something?
Thanks, dad.
Whoops.
Got it!
A quinceanera?
Are you sure you're ready
to let your little girl go?
I don't wanna let her go.
I just wanna make her feel special.
Sam?
Honey?
I'm sure you've had a long day,
but these are like 600 count sheets.
Do you wanna maybe shower?
Okay.
Sleep well.
Mi Amor, I made the doggy bags
and I'm all ready for bedtime!
Papi, you didn't have to
do their bags.
The chef at school makes their lunch.
That's not school. It's vacation!
They'll never have to learn anything for
themselves as long as they're here.
That's why they call it
a full-service hotel.
Mi Amor, will you come out already?
I've been waiting patiently
to see your angelic...
Beautiful, exquisite face.
Remember, my love,
only drink out of your own bowl.
No belly rubs from strangers.
- And if you need me...
- Goodbye, Papi.
I'll meet up with you
and the party planner after work.
I will count the...
Party planner? What?
You don't think
i can handle this on my own?
Rosa said everyone at school uses one
for their sweet sixteen.
- But this is a...
- Party of a lifetime!
Sebastian!
That's right, everybody.
Fasten your chew-boutins
and let the planning begin.
I'm here and I have fabric samples!
And here you'll find
our exquisite, top of the line,
vip pool for you and
your darling Charlotte.
Come look, Charlotte.
Yes, you'll have every amenity
that you could possibly desire
right here at your fingertips.
Poolside belly rubs,
poolside pedicures...
Ginkgo-mango smoothies.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
- Go. Go.
- Poolside massages and...
You call this a state-of-the-art pool?
They can't possibly expect me
to be using the same pool
as the likes of such riffruff.
I meant, for staff and dogs.
You can just ignore this for your review.
Miss Charlotte will have
her very own royal plunge pool.
Charlotte doesn't plunge. She floats.
- Oh.
- On a float.
Uh... yes.
Can you imagine what
chlorine would do to this gorgeous coat?
Terrible things.
She's a defending champion of
the westminster dog show,
not some bottle blonde.
Yes, yes. I... I...
- Will you please show us to our room?
- Yes.
- Yes. The presidential suite.
- Come, Charlotte.
We expect
you'll be most comfortable there.
- I can peel grapes.
- Psst.
Pardon, your highness.
Welcome to the Langham.
Perhaps we could meet at the park
for a moonlit stroll sometime. Hmm?
Oh! Uh... hmm.
Charlotte.
Hey, kids!
Hey! Papi, Jr.? Ali? Pep? Lala?
- What's up, dad? Morning!
- Rosita?
- Hi, dad.
- Hey, dad.
You guys left without me.
It's okay, dad. We know the way.
Hey! Hey, Rosita,
are you forgetting something?
Nope. They have everything
we need at school.
Oscar!
Hey, little dudes.
Ready for a big day?
Yeah!
I think we want a tone
that screams quince, you know?
That just gets all up
in your face and yells,
"I'm a quince,
what are you gonna do about it?"
Doesn't the father of the quince
get a say in any of this?
Of course! Listen, if we need digging
advice, you're our first stop.
Well, what if we had
little chew toy party favors?
You see, rosa, it's so cute,
she carries around
this little squeaky squirrel like...
Like an adorable little puppy?
Papi, sweetie, boychick,
she's not your little puppy anymore.
- The quince is all about letting go.
- I know! I know.
- Can't I just hold on a little longer?
- Papi.
Shh. Did you hear that?
There, there, Papi.
I'll protect you from the scary butterfly.
Hello, we're talking here!
So, we good
on the color tones?
What's that rustling? Oscar?
Just close the door.
You're freaking me out.
We are at the Langham, okay?
It's not like some boogeyman is gonna
come flying over the...
Hey, you guys.
The Langham sure does have
some nice flowers back here.
I can't afford this kind of stress.
I'm gray and wrinkly as it is.
Pedro, what are you doing?
I need your opinion.
The rose says I'm a romantic,
but the sunflower says I like to party.
Okay, spill it. What's her name?
Charlotte James. Like a sonnet.
Nice, bro. She fixed?
I believe so!
But she won't even sniff in my direction.
I hate to beat the pinata of true love,
but we have a party to plan.
Now, when I think about the color motif,
i see fuchsia.
What about you, Pedro?
I see peanut butter.
Uh-huh.
And what about the centerpieces?
Peanut butter.
Fabulous! You're gonna be a big help.
Let me ask you something.
You went to culinary school, oui?
Yes. Oui, sir.
I graduated from the Beverly hills
culinary institute with distinction.
Wow. How impressive.
As a distinct graduate,
may I offer my advice from an old chef?
I'd be honored, sir.
Nobody cares!
Go back to work
or your potatoes are fried!
My God, that one,
i didn't quite land that one.
Okay, qu'est-ce qu'il y a encore?
Chef, I'm afraid one of our guests
didn't like the Risotto.
What do you mean "didn't like"?
This is magnifique!
I mean, who doesn't like magnifique?
Amelia James, sir.
She found it to be uninspired.
- Uninspired?
- Yeah.
What would you like me to do?
I'll tell you what I'd like you to do.
You're going to take this
and give it to her. Go! Allez! Go!
Now! Go!
Uninspired. Uninspired.
These Americans!
Compliments of chef didier.
Our locally sourced
heirloom bloomsdale savoy spinach,
wrapped and folded in layers of
handmade artisanal sheets
of unbleached grain,
caressed in waves of ragusa,
sicilian ricotta,
and drizzled with
the essence of San marzano tomatoes,
picked at the height of their harvest
and flown in from
the valle del Sarno this very morning.
In other words, lasagna?
Bon appetit.
Hmm.
Ladies and gentlemen, please give
a warm welcome to a very special guest,
who will now be regaling us
on the piano.
Oh!
Music.
If music be the kibble of love, play on.
Who said that?
- I just did.
Listen. For rosa's quinceanera,
music is the most important thing.
It's the heart, the soul,
the paws, the tail, the ears...
I get it.
That's why I've assembled
some of the greatest acts in fur today.
Canine inch nails,
motley chew, the fixxed!
Ready to have your mind blown?
First up, put your paws together
for Bob Marley and me!
Jah-jah
- Bo th; Woof
- jah-huahua
- woof
big ears, little dog
- jah-jah
- woof!
Jah-huahua
isn't this wonderful?
"Jah-huahua," they call it.
Big heart, little paws
that little dog-a
go-a park today
him need a walk,
take him right away
him gotta smell,
gotta pee and play
chihuahua dog always
know the way
- jah-jah
- woof
- jah-huahua
- woof
big eyes, little smile...
You'll be humming this
tomorrow, guaranteed.
Woof
- jah-huahua
- woof woof
- big heart
- woof
lot of style
irie mon, pass me a biscuit.
- Aren't they wonderful?
- I don't think so.
You're right. Terrible. Next!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Er... Papi, give it up for black labbeth!
I love the black leather.
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
Ow! Ouch, ouch!
It's just the same three chords
over and over!
Hey, man, you try playing
an augmented fifth with three toes.
Fine, but you guys are
still booked for my winter formal, right?
Two sets, free jerky treats,
no brown m&m's. I got it.
Coming up next is houndgarden!
I don't get it,
but they're huge in Seattle.
I mean, it's just completely rude.
- Yeah, man.
They cut us off like
30 seconds into the song. Cut us off.
Yeah, I mean, that's not right.
I don't think they get
our music in the colonies.
Next!
Throw your tails in the air
for the black eyed fleas!
Great guys.
They used to rehearse on me.
- Such showmanship.
- Next!
Lady gaga and the tramp.
Oh, please.
Next!
There is no next.
You've rejected all of them.
But none of them
were good enough for my Rosita.
We need someone special.
Someone magical.
Someone with soul.
Someone unforgettable.
In short, we need a miracle.
Buenas tardes.
Who are you?
Please, allow me to introduce myself.
I am El senor Diego arroyo
Montoya de marengo.
This is humberto Juan Carlos
Gutierrez de Nunez.
- And that's Phil.
- What's up?
And we are the three mariachis.
Okay, moving right along.
- Can you cover R&B?
- Si.
- Hip-hop?
- Si.
- Death metal?
- Si.
- Klezmer?
- Si, si, si.
Baroque opera.
Vivaldi or bach?
We'll give 'em a shot.
It is a miracle.
I love these guys!
Man, those mariachis
really wiped me out.
How did you get home from school?
I walked.
By yourself?
Where are the other pups?
They stayed late
to finish the polo match.
polo match? Wait a minute.
With, like, a pony?
- How do you even get up there?
- I couldn't.
Oscar said I was too small,
so I got stuck in arts and crafts.
I made you a picture.
This right here is
a good-looking rabbit.
Practically a Picasso.
It's a goat, dad.
Uh...
Hi, honey. I'm sorry I'm late.
I missed you.
Hey, where are the rest of the pups?
I wanna talk to you about that.
I don't like
what the pups are learning at school.
Like what?
Like polo!
These are not good chihuahua values!
And don't even get me started
on this Oscar character.
Honey, the pups love Oscar.
He's been nothing but kind.
Yeah? Well, I got my ears on him.
Remember, mijos,
if you need anything, just bark me.
Any time. No problem is too small.
Dad is here. Completely available.
And Rosita, don't forget to make daddy
another one of your
famous goat pictures!
Goat picture.
What? It was a nice picture.
What the...
Hey! Hold it right there!
Papi. Hey! So great to see you, buddy!
What are you doing here?
The question is,
what are you doing here?
Are you ever with the pups?
Papi, buddy, relax.
The pups are great.
Oscar! Come on over!
I wanna introduce you to someone.
Here, boy!
On my way!
But where were you
on your way to before?
I got a pretty good guess.
Does anyone know you're here?
Of course not.
Because I could get into a lot of trouble.
I can't get
high enough!
Gotta buy me
one of those
trampolines!
Why is Oscar always
hanging around back here?
If only you had some way to tell me.
You're getting pretty good at those, man.
What's this one?
That doesn't sound like Oscar.
Listen, we've got trouble.
They've hired a new dog at the hotel,
and she's here with her pups,
and I think...
- Did you hear that?
- Relax.
You are doing a great job, Jenny.
Jenny? I knew
there was something fishy about her.
No one's that perky.
So, maybe Papi
is on to something after all.
Yeah! Which one's Papi?
Phil, are you even paying attention?
Uh... not really.
Papi better have a real good excuse,
because tardy is not
gonna plan this party!
Guys, guys! I knew it!
That Bernard is no Saint!
It's Jenny and Oscar.
I know it might seem like they're just
manipulative, rude and sneaky,
but it gets worse.
They're also conniving schemers.
Yeah, they seem real suspect,
with their balloons and their hugs...
I overheard Jenny
talking about Chloe!
Sweetie, everybody's
talking about Chloe.
Her face is plastered
on every brochure in this hotel.
Papi, the fiesta fun train is
about to leave the station.
So you can either
get both paws onboard,
or destroy rosa's hopes and dreams
on the most important day of her life.
Totally your call.
All right, I'm on the fun train.
Excellent! Now that we're all playing
off the same sheet of music,
did everybody bring
their dancing shoes?
Huh?
Well, this is humiliating.
But at least he didn't make me
wear sparkly legwarmers.
They're not legwarmers. They're...
Ay, dios mio, they're legwarmers.
Hey, when do we get to eat the salsa?
I gotta get to the spa.
Chloe is there with Oscar.
I need to... I'm good.
One, two, three, eyes on me.
And, uno, dos, tres, cuatro.
It's all about the motion in the ocean.
Feel the beat, feel the rhythm.
Try to be one with the music!
Try to be Juan?
Pedro, sweetheart, give me something.
Give me anything!
I've seen pet cemeteries with more life.
Come on, people!
Let's do a little fosse, a little twyla.
And salsa, and salsa,
and salsa, and chips!
Thank you.
Yes, we offer Swedish,
shiatsu, acupressure...
Yes, we do offer seaweed wraps.
Hang on one second.
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
you need an appointment.
I'm not sure where
the seaweed comes from.
Yes, I believe it comes from the ocean.
Can you hang on a sec?
Yes, we do offer mud baths.
"Will you get dirty?"
Oh, Oscar,
you're kidding!
Whoo! My dogs are barking!
That was some workout? Huh?
That instructor always kicks my tail.
You're really good at downward dog.
Thanks.
Hey!
You might have everyone else fooled
with your whistle
and your unusually silky coat,
but I'm on to you, Buster!
Papi? What are you doing here?
Mi Amor, I was just...
- Spying on me?
- No!
I was just hiding in the mud,
listening to you talk.
Look, Papi, Chloe and I were just trying
to enjoy a nice detox, ya know?
Exchanging juicing tips
and clearing our chakras,
but I'll give you two some space
to talk things out.
Hasta luego, amigo.
What? You don't think
he speaks Spanish?
We'll discuss this tonight.
But, mi Amor...
Right. I was just leaving.
Poor Papi. Trouble in paradise.
I can't see anything!
Everything's green!
Phil! Calm down.
You have cucumbers on your eyes.
Oh! Yeah.
She snuck in!
- I'm not gonna tell anyone.
- It wasn't my fault!
Shh! Dad's coming!
Hijos, I've missed you so much.
Dad! Our friends are right there!
Oh! I am so sorry to ruin your day
with a father's undying love.
Hey, where's your sister?
It wasn't our fault!
- Ali tried to get it first!
- She snuck in!
- We couldn't do anything!
- It was too late!
I was too far away
to do anything, dad!
Hold it! Hold it! One at a time.
Ay, chihuahua! Rosita, what happened?
I snuck into frisbee football.
- Who was watching you?
- Nobody.
That's how I snuck in.
Wait up, hija! Your father
is getting too old to chase after you.
Then stop chasing!
Come on, Rosita. Come back.
Don't you want
to see the moves your father learned
for your quinceanera?
Never mind the quince!
Jenny still won't even let me in the water
without wearing
those humiliating swimmies!
I'll never learn to swim!
- So, don't wear humiliating swimmies.
- What?
I'm not saying, don't wear swimmies,
I'm saying, don't let them humiliate you.
What do you mean?
In a world of big dogs,
Rosita, your Papi is pretty small.
But instead of letting my size
be a disadvantage, I learn to use it.
I made the big dogs wish
they were small.
You are rosa Cortez.
Take pride in what makes you different.
Try this.
That's my little girl.
What did you say to me?
You heard what I said. I said I quit!
Quit? Quit, quit?
Nobody quits! Nobody quits! I...
I fired him! I fired you!
Yeah, your egg is poached!
And you have been replaced by, uh...
You! Cleaning lady! Ici.
I'm actually the sous-chef, sir.
Not anymore. You are executive
pastry chef, effective immediately.
Allez, hop!
- Are you serious?
- Oui, I am serious. I am.
That's amazing! Thank you, chef!
You are not gonna regret this!
Are you touching me?
Is she touching me?
No! No.
Okay, okay. Can you do souffle?
- Can I do a souffle?
- Yes.
Do birds sing and do dogs bark?
Not generally at this hotel.
But, start practicing and make it good.
We have a gala on Friday
and Ms. James likes her souffle perfect.
- Capiche?
- Capiche!
Good! Good.
Our review depends on it. Good girl.
Okay. Invites? Check.
Appetizers? Yes.
Crystal drinking bowls? Fabulous.
Sebastian! Listen. Is your...
Papi. There you are. We have got to
make a final decision on these linens.
Didn't you get my message?
I peed outside your door like six times.
I can't worry about that right now.
Just tell me, is your groomer still
next to the police station?
Because I need you to
give a message to a trusted friend.
Sure, Papi, sure.
Whatever you need.
Thanks, Sebastian. Now I gotta go
keep an eye on that Jenny.
Oh, right.
Because she's so dangerously perky.
Hey, vatos.
When will they
believe Papi?
Will it be too late?
I believe him.
Phil, you don't know
what we're talking about, do you?
Nope.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Sir?
- Yes?
You need to see this.
What? Why all these cancellations?
Why now?
Whoa.
Okay.
Not good.
Uh...
Mr. Hollis! Hey!
What are you doing in here?
And what is this dog doing in here?
I heard a crash,
and after I heard the crash I found this...
This culprit.
He has a very guilty
expression on his face, doesn't he?
Is that my handkerchief?
Do you know this is hermes?
I just don't think he
appreciates fine linen, sir.
You know, Papi,
it's been hard enough here
without getting yelled at by my boss.
I really didn't need this.
Hmm.
Okay, let's see what I got.
"Love will make you do crazy things.
Please forgive me.
"5 P.M. on the bridge of love".
Good!
Perfect. Now Pedro.
You can do it!
Come on, bro.
You gotta take a chance.
You know what, Papi?
You're right.
I need to give Charlotte
the chance to reject me for who I am.
Hit it, boys!
Well, I have never
been serenaded by a pit bull before.
In a bow tie.
Is that good?
Well, she's still here.
Oh.
Dios mio.
Lester!
- What? What?
What do you think?
Oh!
It's finished!
It's sublime. It's beautiful!
Sam, we did it!
We did it!
Okay, all right, all right.
Hey, do you mind taking down
that netting before you head off?
And wrapping up the hoses?
You got it, Sam.
Night, Lester.
- Good night, Sam.
- Yeah.
Okay, rosa. This is it.
You've mastered the little pool.
You can do this!
Does this look like
a puppy pool to you?
Because it doesn't look
like a puppy pool to me.
Do you see any other puppies?
Oh, look! No puppies.
Honey, check the vip tag.
Besides, aren't you
a little small for such a big pool?
I'm big where it counts, ma'am.
That is really cute, honey,
but you don't belong here.
So go on. Scram. Shoo.
Oh. Well, aren't you a beauty?
You don't look a day over seven,
if I must say.
Oh! No, my tag! But I...
Doggone it! I can't believe this.
Ah. Everything is perfect.
How could she not forgive me,
right, Arnie?
I mean, I'd forgive me.
Hey, Oscar. Oscar?
Hey, man, where you going?
Relax, little dude.
You shouldn't worry so much about me.
You should be worrying
about you and your family.
What's that supposed to mean?
Hey! Hey, come back here! Pedro?
Here, Papi. I brought you
a centerpiece for your picnic.
Aloe?
Hello. I brought you
a centerpiece for your picnic.
Hey! Got a new one?
Pedro, check it out.
He's got like a whole collection here.
What is that, a whistle?
Wait a second.
Wait a second! Jenny?
The gate.
Oscar!
Arnie, you're a genius!
- Where are you going?
- The gate!
That Saint Bernard is up
to something, I knew it!
I'll be right back!
No way I'm letting you go
in there without backup.
We'll just have a taste.
Papi won't even notice.
This is it, Mr. montague.
Tomorrow's guest list.
Celebrities, senators, dignitaries.
All the vip guests for the garden gala.
- So I gotta go.
- Ah, ah, ah.
Hasty now, aren't we?
What else do you need?
What I need is to protect
my multi-million dollar venture.
And that means making sure that
the Langham's little gala
hits a few bumps in the road.
Are you hearing this?
Jenny is out to ruin the gala!
I guess you're not crazy after all, Papi.
Thanks a lot, bro.
Ay, chihuahua! Mi Amor!
You are poetry on paws.
I was so looking forward
to our romantic dinner.
Why are there three mariachis eating it?
Chloe, I can explain.
Wait.
Did you hear that?
Someone's in trouble!
Help! Somebody!
Somebody help me. I can't swim.
Help! Anybody! Somebody, help!
The deep end!
Help me! Somebody...
I can't swim!
Come on, man! Let's roll!
- That sounds like Charlotte!
- That sounds like rosa!
I'm caught!
Something's got me! It's a snake!
It's a hose! Who ever heard of
a snake in the garden?
That's why they
call 'em garden snakes!
This is where they live!
Papi! No, no, slow down!
Something big and ugly
is chasing me!
That's me!
I'm trying to get you to slow down!
- Pedro, why are you chasing me?
- Papi, you've got to... oh!
Papi, there goes a tree!
Of all the nights for it to rain!
That's not rain!
You're breaking all the sprinklers!
Who planted all these trees here?
It's a garden!
That's where they plant trees!
Pedro, you don't do well in crisis.
Okay, there goes a statue!
I never liked that statue.
Pedro! It got me! I'm stuck!
Pedro, get me loose! Get me loose!
- Yeah, I got it.
- Let's go! I'm coming, Rosita!
Close call.
That could have gotten ugly.
Help! Please, please.
Help! Somebody help!
Please. Please.
I'm sinking.
Here! Grab this!
I can't swim!
Rosita, are you okay?
- I'm fine, dad.
- You're shivering.
Thank you. You're very kind.
You have
a lot of explaining to do, young lady.
At the pool, at night, without swimmies!
You're the one who told me
to get my paws wet.
Not in the deep end.
I don't go in the deep end.
I didn't have a choice, dad.
You have to believe me.
Tell him. Tell him what happened.
I lost my tag,
and I was just reaching for it and...
Charlotte!
I'm telling you,
Mr. Hollis, it was terrifying.
I could hear them all the way
from the kitchen.
- Charlotte!
- What were you doing in the kitchen?
Oh! Um...
Late-night snack.
- Oh! Thank goodness.
Oh! Charlotte. Come on, Charlotte.
Baby! Honey!
We're gonna take good care of you.
I never in a million years
could have fathomed it.
My eight-time award-winning dog
accosted by mutts at the Langham?
Ms. James, please.
We'll have Charlotte groomed
to perfection at the spa.
She won't even
remember this happened.
She might not, but I certainly will.
I assure you, those animals
will be dealt with accordingly.
What do you think he means?
Rosa, go to your room.
I will take care of this.
- This isn't fair.
- Now.
What?
Boss, we got a bad
situation here. We need to get you...
I'm with a very important guest
at the moment.
Sir, the new gardens
have been destroyed,
and both kitchen freezers have broken.
We need you.
Come on, Charlotte.
We are going to pack
and we're gonna go move
into the montague in the morning.
Ms. James, please wait.
Gentlemen, I didn't quite
get a chance to explain.
I think she likes me.
Uh...
Why did you punch holes
in the souffle with a fork?
What culinary school did you go to?
Give me the name,
and I will have them shut down!
- Something is wrong, chef.
- Yes, and we agree, then.
No, they were perfect
when I pulled them out of the oven...
These souffles are an insult
to souffles everywhere!
I mean, no, this is the worst.
You, my girl,
your souffle has been punctured.
Give me your hat. Allez.
Now.
Adieu, mademoiselle.
I presume you know why you're here.
Yeah. I take it
you've seen the gardens, sir.
I'm afraid I have.
What? Is it the succulents?
'Cause I can take those out.
Sam, they've been destroyed
and covered from bush to
bush with paw prints.
What?
I'm afraid you've left me no choice, Sam.
You're fired.
Does this mean I won't get to
see the peanut butter closet?
But I was just getting good
at Kong ball croquet!
I am not leaving this hotel without Carol.
My paws have never looked better.
This isn't fair. We didn't do anything.
Hey, no paw-pointing.
Rosa. Honey, what happened out there?
It doesn't matter.
It's not like anyone
would believe me, anyway.
Quince or no quince,
I'll always just be the runt of the litter.
Mi Amor.
About our date.
Getting, you know...
Hello?
Interrupted.
Hello?
Chloe winthrop ashe?
Cortez, actually. Have we met?
I'm sorry. I think
i came to the wrong room, anyway.
I'm just looking for that family
with the mischievous little pups.
Have you seen them?
Come on in.
Rock-a-bye puppy in the treetop
when the wind blows
you mean those are your...
My five vips, very important puppies.
Listen, soon as they fall asleep,
come meet me at the restaurant.
But it's closed.
Being a vip has its privileges.
And, hey, bring the big one, too.
Kind of cute.
Although he might want
to stick to his day job.
And that's how rosa
saved my life.
Wow.
Our rosa, a hero. I am so proud.
To rosa!
To rosa!
- That girl's got no fear.
- And I got no clue.
I can't believe I doubted her.
I was so pigheaded
and close-minded and...
Feel free to stop me when you disagree.
You're starting to win me over. Go on.
Corazon, I just wanted
to believe that rosa...
That you all still needed me.
Papi, we always will.
That's one thing that will never change.
You're gonna make a grown dog cry!
Well, sweet as that is, honey,
Amelia's taking us over to the montague
first thing in the morning.
Then let's get to work.
We gotta fix those gardens,
because that's where we're going to
throw the greatest quinceanera ever!
But, Papi, how? We're supposed to
be out by tomorrow morning.
Let's just say
this old dog knows a few new tricks.
Well, then, we'd better fuel up.
Whoa! Hey! Hey.
Officer, everything under control?
Don't scare me like that.
Delgado, thanks for coming
on such short notice.
I got your message.
Anything you need, Papi.
Sebastian, you came!
As if I didn't have to
battle huge bags under my eyes already.
All right, everybody.
Let's divide and conquer!
It does exist!
Hey, show your attitude
make it understood
you're the one who's
changing everybody's point of view
give it all you've got
viva El carnaval
this will be a moment
you will cherish all your life
you've come so far
that's who you are
with all my friends together
we'll, we'll take this night
all by surprise
celebrating
fiesta, party
quinceanera, family
all together
we can be as one
come celebrate with me
I came, I saw, I decorated.
They actually pulled it off.
Boys, looks like we got ourselves a gig.
This party's gonna be great!
I hope there's music.
Oy. Phil. Phil, Phil, Phil.
Yeah?
- Pedro, are you in position?
- Affirmative.
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this, Papi?
What they gonna do, kick us out?
Shh. They're coming.
Keep it quiet, Oscar.
There's no one there.
Now!
Peanut butter?
Hah! Is that the best you can do?
- Pedro?
- Peanut butter!
Get your peanut butter!
Freshly churned peanut butter
over in the South garden!
Peanut butter?
- I think it's that way!
Is it free?
It better be
for what my room cost!
Somebody, help me!
Get off! Get off!
What did I ever do to you?
I was such a good trainer!
I was the best trainer!
I'm late for a grooming.
What on earth is going on...
Get out of here!
The garden gala starts in 20 minutes.
Thank you, Mr. Hollis.
You saved my life.
You're a kind man.
So I've been told.
Now, what's this?
All our classified guest information.
Jenny, where were you taking this?
Nowhere! I swear. It was just...
It was the chihuahua!
What is going on?
Pedro?
Montague?
Jenny! Jenny! Tell them.
Tell them how I just like
to come back here and sniff the roses.
So this is how they manage
to poach our clientele!
I should've known
you were up to something.
No one's that perky.
Hello? That's what
I've been saying all along.
I've misjudged you, Papi.
You're a good man.
Thank you.
Thanks. Yeah, you got your moments.
Papi, you were right all along.
I owe you an apology.
I'll settle for a kiss.
Will you please let me down?
Mmm-mmm.
Psst... psst.
Rosita!
What's going on? What's that?
A little something your mother
picked up for your quinceanera.
Quinceanera?
But we're moving out.
How are we going to...
It's just gonna be a small family affair.
There's a little something in the bag
for your brothers and sisters, too.
Oh. And if Papi, Jr. gives you
any trouble about it,
show him this.
No, it's okay. I completely understand.
I love you. Bye.
Well, aunt Viv rented the guest house.
But I guess, on the bright side,
there are worse streets
to sleep on than Beverly hills.
I'm sorry, Rache.
I wanted to start a life of our own.
- Sam.
- It's my fault.
I was the one that
pushed for the move.
Sam, you gotta see this.
It's like an angel fell from heaven,
and grew fur.
Places, everybody!
The quince and her honor court
are coming.
Everyone's going to make fun of me.
I think it looks very chic.
Yeah, if it were 1972!
Don't worry.
Dad said it's just going
to be a family thing.
Presenting our quince,
rosa Cortez and her honor court!
Cool!
Isn't she pretty?
Aren't they adorable?
- So cute.
I love the dress.
Oh, my God.
Rosa's all grown up now.
Oh! Look at Papi, Jr. in his suit.
Need a tissue, bro?
Just a bug in my eye, that's all.
Move over.
Rosa,
before we go any further,
I got one more little surprise.
Amigos!
I may have mentioned to a few pups
how you saved Charlotte.
Why is everyone wearing swimmies?
The question is, why aren't you?
I can't believe all of this is for me.
Rosa, you're not only
the bravest dog I know,
you are also the coolest pup in school.
So, go on, sweetheart. Soak it up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
time for the brindis,
the traditional toast
of the quinceanera...
I'm sorry...
Given by the father of the quince,
senor Papi Cortez.
Friends, family,
today we celebrate
the quinceanera of rosa,
who I am so proud to call my daughter.
Rosa has shown determination
in the face of adversity
and heroism in the face of danger.
She was given peanuts,
and she made peanut butter.
And most importantly,
she stopped listening to everyone
who told her what she couldn't do
and started listening inside
to discover all that she could.
She even taught her old dad
there's a time to hang on
and a time to let go.
And she didn't need this party
to become a true quinceanera.
She already was.
To rosa!
- To rosa!
To rosa!
This isn't the goldberg bar mitzvah.
This is like the coolest party
i have ever been to.
Dad, is it too late for us
to become quinces, too?
Oh, pep, it is never too late.
Oh, my God. It's beautiful.
But how?
Sam, we never got to tango, did we?
What?
I... no, I guess we didn't.
I'm sorry, Rache.
Don't be. Let's dance!
I told you not to order
the huevos rancheros!
We're late for the gig!
Excusez-moi, excusez-moi.
You are on my foot, buddy.
That was my toe. My toe!
Mademoiselle, mademoiselle, uh...
Whatever.
Executive dishwasher chef.
Rachel.
It's a mob scene. It's a mob scene.
This is the biggest gala in the
Langham's history, and I need your...
I need your...
I need your help! Please!
I'm gonna need that hat.
My toque?
No, no.
Okay, okay, you can have my toque!
And my job?
- Yes!
Let's go! Come on! Let's go!
Rachel, on y va, allez.
Chef didier coming through!
Chef Rachel coming through!
No, no, sous-chef.
Sous-chef Rachel.
I've got the hat. Chef.
Mine is bigger than yours.
It's not like
Charlotte to disappear.
Ms. James, don't worry.
I just saw her back here.
Must've been a pretty big reward, huh?
Reward? For what?
The little chihuahua.
The one that saved your dog.
Excuse me?
Out in the pool. Didn't you hear?
Take my bags back up
to the penthouse.
But who will take care of the dogs
when I'm gone?
Officer sims?
They're the ones who will suffer.
Is that what you want,
to punish innocent little doggies?
I've never seen that woman
before in my life.
Tell it to the judge.
Okay.
Watch your tail!
I can't go to jail!
I've never even been crated!
I can't take enclosed spaces!
Come on!
Throw me a bone here. I'm innocent!
Come on, man!
If the collar don't fit, you must acquit.
You want an alibi?
I can give you an alibi.
I got as many as you want.
I can't eat prison food, man!
I got a gluten-free kosher diet!
Mr. Cortez.
Well, I don't know how you did it,
but these gardens
are nothing short of exquisite.
I hope you'll accept my apologies,
along with a permanent
contract with the hotel.
Are you...
Sure, go ahead. Just the once.
All right. Don't touch me anymore.
- That's fine.
- Okay.
This one is for rosa.
Thank you all so much
for coming to our fiesta today,
especially those of you who schlepped
all the way from the 90210.
I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry.
That wraps up
the quinceanera of mi hija rosa.
Dad, aren't you forgetting something?
Forgetting something?
Rosita, I got the band.
I took salsa lessons.
We decorated the garden.
What did I possibly forget?
This.
That's sweet.
That is sweet.
I think I'd like to have
some puppies soon.
Hmm?
That's not all you forgot.
Now that Sam got his job back
and we can stay,
and now that Oscar's gone,
they need a new teacher at school.
You didn't ask
who's been chosen to replace him.
You mean...
Congratulations, Professor.
Awesome!
- I'm sitting in front!
Now we can get
our paws wet!
I want to learn
to salsa and chips.
You're gonna be
the best teacher ever!
Papi likes.
- Goodbye, polo, hello, pollo.
Now we can master pee-mail!
And so the Cortez family
lived happily ever after.
At least until Pedro got a vip tag
and locked himself
in the peanut butter closet.
But that's another story.
You really stepped
up to the bowl today, Papi.
Sebastian! Don't let 'em
pack up that Margarita machine!
Papi, you're a good dad,
a good friend, and a good dog.
They don't appreciate
classic dog band music here. You know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I'm talking about pee-52s,
the Rex pistols.
Reo taii-waggin'.
Yeah, yeah, good band, good band.
- New odor.
- Yeah.
- Right? Iggy pup.
- Right.
He's a little violent on stage.
The fur flew, but that was,
you know, part of the magic.
Collie Parton is one of
my personal favorites.
I'm not into the country so much myself,
but yeah, I respect her.
No, you don't know what
you're missing there, and...
She's got a lot of fur. Big, big fur,
like blown out every night
before she goes on.
Coldspay.
They got a little into the treats
in the later years, yeah?
Yeah, that's true. They were up to like
30-40 treats a day, actually.
It ruined them.
You know, cheap tick.
- Earth, wind and fur.
- Rage against the vacuum cleaner.
Great band. Did you see that?
- Nice tail.
- Fancy a bit of that.
Well, hey there.
Well, who do you belong to?
No one? Yeah, well, I know the feeling.
There, there, boy.
Front desk? Hollis.
Yes, sir.
I have a dog here
who's gonna be needing a new hotel tag.
- What room, sir?
- Which room?
Manager's suite.
Yes, sir.
You are a handsome devil, aren't you?
Every pet
deserves a loving and permanent home.
So when you choose to adopt,
please adopt responsibly.
Gracias, and thank you.
You'll be humming
this tomorrow, guaranteed.