Big Year, The (2011) Movie Script
I love birds. Who doesn't love birds?
Sure, they'll wake you up in the morning,
or ruin the fruit
in your garden.
And sometimes, of course,
they'll crap on your car.
But they're beautiful,
and they fly,
and they're capable of incredible things.
Take little sooty shearwater
of Tasmania, for example.
Before setting out
on his first migration to Hawaii,
he has to shed half of his body weight.
Me, I probably should've shed
half my body weight, too.
And I was trying, I really was.
Okay, maybe I wasn't trying that hard.
'Cause the truth is,
being thin was never really my dream.
No, I wanted to do something
even more amazing.
- Yo! Big bad Brad.
- Mmm?
- What you rocking out to, man?
- Um...
Clark's nutcracker.
I wanted to be the greatest birder
in the world. Seriously.
Rock on.
Rock on, Prasad.
How do you become
the greatest birder in the world?
You have to win the Big Year.
What's a Big Year?
Here, I'll let this English guy tell you.
Well into the 19th century,
Americans celebrated Christmas Day
with contests to kill
the most birds in a single day.
In 1900, Audubon Society ornithologist
Frank Chapman
suggested Americans should
count them instead,
leading eventually
to the creation of the Big Year,
a competition to see
the greatest number of birds
in North America in a calendar year.
Whoa!
In 2003, New Jersey roofing contractor
Kenny Bostick's Big Year
resulted in an astonishing 732 species,
breaking Sandy Komito's
North American record.
Many believe that Bostick's record of 732
would stand forever,
especially Mrs. Bostick.
A Big Year?
Kenny, you promised me you were
never gonna do another Big Year.
Jess, I'm just going out to set the pace.
I promise I'll be back as soon as I'm sure
there's no one out there
who can break my record.
Your record. What's the big deal?
The big deal? Hey, "Lance Armstrong,
what's the big deal?"
Or, hey, "Columbus, what's the big deal
with that whole New World thing?"
Didn't you tell me that a Big Year
killed your marriage to Steph in '03?
First of all, I was married to Bridget in '03.
Didn't you tell me that a Big Year
killed your marriage to Bridget?
A contributing factor,
but, no, not the main reason.
There were so many other problems
with that marriage.
Kenny, I'm getting fertility treatments!
And you promised.
You said you were gonna
build a new room for the baby.
I know. That was before El Nio.
Now I'm really worried
someone's gonna try to beat 732.
Bostick was right. Somebody was
going to try to be beat 732.
Yours truly.
Of course, I wasn't the only challenger
for the title.
I didn't know it at the time,
but up in New York,
a rich executive named Stu Preissler
was also making plans for a Big Year.
We're still nowhere on the deal.
Chemwall won't budge on any key points.
Mclntire used to work for you.
Maybe if you negotiated with him directly...
Sorry, guys. January 1st, I'm outta here.
- Oh, right, you're retiring again.
- Again.
This time I mean it.
Next year is all about the birds.
Edith's already in Colorado
setting up the new house.
So live in the new house
and work from home.
Use the jet. I mean, it's your jet.
- It's your company!
- Forget the birds.
You're big boys now.
You'll be fine without me.
You realize, of course, that the phase
after retirement looks a little bit like this.
Stu was torn. He ruled a vast empire,
his days were full, his opinions mattered.
Was he really ready to move on?
Am I nuts, Edith?
Maybe I should do my Big Year next year.
It might make more sense.
No. Go do it now, Stu.
Carpe annum!
- Seize the...
- Year.
So that's it?
Complete support?
You're not even gonna try and stop me?
Stu, I love you, and I will miss you dearly
when you're away.
But you have been dreaming about this
since you were a little boy,
and I am not gonna stand between you
and your greatest passion.
Not my greatest passion.
Three, two, one! Happy New Year!
Hey.
Excuse me!
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
I just want to make a little toast
to my folks.
Hey, okay.
To my dad, who proved today
that he can still kick my ass on skis.
Hey, I let you win a few
just to keep you hanging around.
My childhood in a nutshell,
ladies and gentlemen.
And to my mom,
who had the vision and confidence
to design a house
with enough room for grandchildren.
- Hear, hear.
- If you build it, they will come.
Yes, and in this case,
sometime around the middle of May.
- Really?
- Yes!
That's why she was
tossing her cookies all month.
You're not the only one
having a big year, Dad.
Congratulations. Hey.
Day one, Bostick was up before dawn,
focused and ready.
NARBA hotline.
Give your code word at the beep.
Great gray owl.
There has been a second spotting
of the Nutting's flycatcher
in Patagonia Lake State Park.
A thousand miles away, Stu was
up early, too, though not quite as focused.
- You ready?
- To the bottom?
- You're on, old man.
- We'll see about that.
Edith, count us off.
On your mark. Get set. Go!
You'd think they'd be exhausted by now.
They're men, dear.
If they ever stop competing, they die.
To win a Big Year takes experience,
determination and patience.
To win a second Big Year,
you've got to be obsessed.
Bostick began his Big Year on fire.
He knew that most birders
couldn't afford to challenge him.
Some of us had already been derailed
by injury.
While others had seen
their nest eggs depleted.
Dad! I got into Yale!
Still, Bostick was relentless.
He knew that potential rivals lurked
behind every tree and bush.
Bingo.
What would you guys do without me?
You okay?
Magpie!
Raven!
Pine grosbeak.
Yay!
- Spot something rare for me.
- You know I will.
I have some exciting news.
I'm gonna be working
as a travel agent again.
For who?
For Brad.
I'm handling his travel for the next year.
Travel? Travel where?
I'm doing a Big Year, Dad.
Spending the year trying to see as many
different species of bird as I can.
I've been dreaming about this
for a long time.
This is my year.
I've saved 5 grand
and I'm gonna need five more,
and I was wondering if
you'd consider sponsoring me?
Sponsoring you.
I'd pay you back. With interest.
- Think of it as an investment.
- An investment.
Yeah, sure. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, it sounds like a great investment.
I just hope word doesn't get out.
All the neighbors will want
a piece of the action.
You know what? Forget it.
I'm gonna do it myself, so...
You're 36 years old!
You quit grad school.
You quit your job at Dell.
You quit your marriage.
Sooner or later, you're gonna have to
actually do something with your life!
This is what I'm doing!
But I guess you got it all figured out.
That's why your whole life
has been nothing but bliss!
Bill, Tower One's good to go.
I'll debug the rest when I get back Monday.
- Yeah, that bird thing, right?
- Yeah.
Listen, I'll pay you time-and-a-half to
work this weekend and catch us up.
That'd pay for a lot of airfare, right?
Thanks, Bill, but I'm already getting
a late start as it is.
So, what do you win? Is there prize money?
No prize money,
but the birdseed endorsements are huge.
- Seriously?
- No.
Okay, so why do you do it?
It's kind of hard to explain.
You know what's hard to explain? To them?
A core meltdown of the new reactor
that irradiates the entire Atlantic coast.
Okay. Shit.
Double-time. And that's unprecedented.
Okay. But I am definitely
leaving on the 20th.
NARBA hotline.
Give your code word at the beep.
Red-tailed hawk.
A Xantus's hummingbird has been seen
in a backyard in Gibsons, British Columbia.
The Xantus's is Code Five.
How do you do, ma'am?
I was wondering if...
The hummingbird's out there now.
- Let me just get you the key to the gate.
- Oh! Fantastic.
I've been meaning to ask one of you people,
do you have to get a snapshot of the bird?
Is that a rule?
No. Believe it or not,
it's all on the old-fashioned honor system.
But you just have to say you saw it?
No. In fact, if you can recognize a bird
by its song, you just have to hear it.
Oh.
But I see everybody with a camera.
You really want a photograph
if it's a rare one,
same as you would the Taj Mahal.
Oh! Stay on the path.
I'll bring it right back.
- This is Stu.
- Stu, it's Barry.
I'm here with Jim and the lawyers.
We just need a little help. Stu. Stu?
Stu?
Goddamn it!
I hope we're not catching you at a bad time.
As a matter of fact...
Look, we need a little expert guidance.
We have reached an impasse
with Chemwall.
- They don't...
- It's going south, Stu.
They don't want to give up
their production facilities in Nevada.
Hold out. Their R & D is prehistoric.
It's all about the real estate.
Look, I gotta go.
I'm about to miss a Code Five.
No, no...
What the hell's he talking about?
Birds.
"One of the greatest birders
I've ever seen"?
Me?
Crane, I'm touched.
Do you ever think about doing a Big Year?
You could be the next Bostick.
Not to toot my own horn,
but I could do something
pretty extraordinary.
Western tanager.
With just a few notes, I could recognize
hundreds of species by song alone.
Hey, all you birders. I'm Annie Auklet.
If you haven't sailed with me before,
yep, that's my real name.
I love those seabirds so damn much,
I had it legally changed in 1990.
Now a couple of rules.
If you can't swim,
wear a life jacket.
Rule number two,
I'm in charge of this itinerary.
And if you have a problem with that,
you can take your candy-colored butt
and put it right back in the rental car.
All right. Come on, line up.
What was that all about?
Back in '03,
Annie stopped a boat to look at a whale
and Bostick led a mutiny.
Look, no one paid to see Shamu!
Get the hell off my bridge!
Just show us something
with some feathers
or let me steer this thing!
- Now you're gonna cut me?
- Get off my bridge, pal!
- 'Cause we won't look at your whale?
- I'll use you for chum!
You're crazier than a road lizard!
He kind of had a point.
No, he is in violation of all the
unwritten rules for decorum and civility.
Yeah, well, maybe that's what it takes
to be the greatest birder on Earth.
Or maybe it just takes
adding a few birds to your list
that perhaps you never saw.
Whoa. Are you saying Bostick's a cheater?
I'm just saying it'd be wise
to keep your eye on the sparrow.
That record'll never be broken.
- Yep.
- Thanks, man.
- Thanks, man!
- Thanks.
Now, why would I help a pig like you
win another Big Year, Bostick?
Because if he were trying to
do another Big Year,
a pig like me wouldn't want any help.
But I'm not, Annie. I'm just looking.
Just trying to reconnect with that little boy
who fell in love with blue jays
and mourning doves a million years ago.
You're not gonna deny me that.
Come on, have a heart.
Just stay the hell off my bridge.
Deal.
- Western screech owl.
- Capital. Yes.
- You.
- Okay.
Red-shouldered hawk.
- Close, but no cigar.
- Red-tailed hawk?
Yes! You, sir, win the stogie.
Straight, straight ahead.
Kittiwake!
Bostick suspected every birder
he met of doing a Big Year.
And he'd do anything he could
to distract 'em.
Like a peregrine falcon he'd circle his prey,
and then pounce.
Seasickness? I feel for you.
That's the worst.
These usually help.
Yeah, some people say
they're just a placebo. Who knows?
Oh! Here we go!
Cod liver oil.
Attracts birds like honey,
but smells like fried cat puke.
- Sorry, shouldn't have said "puke."
- Won't bother me.
Lost my sense of smell in
a chem lab explosion years ago.
That's lucky. Now, you want to be careful
with those binocs.
'Cause once you lose sight of that horizon,
you can get lost.
And then you're done for,
'cause all you feel is
the pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing. Pitching and tossing.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Hey, anybody up for a little fish-head sushi?
Mmm.
Pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing.
Whoa!
You guys got a rag or something?
There we go.
Maybe one with
not so much fish guts on it?
You okay?
It's not easy being green.
Who knows?
Maybe I never would have met Stu
if he hadn't gotten sick that day.
Sometimes friendship, like birding,
depends on luck. You blink and you miss it.
Hey, did you get a chance to see
that black-footed albatross?
I sure did. Thanks.
I'll leave you at peace.
No, actually, it helps to talk.
But I wouldn't want you to miss any birds.
Ah! We're headed back.
Besides, if there's anything important,
I'll know
'cause I can recognize them all by ear.
No.
- Oh, yeah.
- Really?
What's that?
That's Bostick imitating a herring gull.
- Splendid!
- Great!
Bostick. I have him to thank for this.
What do you mean?
He psyched me out. Made me seasick.
I think he thinks I'm doing a Big Year.
That is hardcore.
Are you doing a Big Year?
No. You?
Come on, let's speed it up!
The lad inside says there's a suitable hotel
on the 101, halfway to Mount Shasta.
Hotel? What, you think a snowy owl's
just gonna wait for us? Uh-uh.
Only reason why I invited you was so
we can drive straight through. Chop, chop!
I can get you 10% off the hotel in Savannah.
And I can put you on a direct flight,
but it's $100 more.
Better stay with the two layovers then.
And your dad wants to talk to you.
- No. No, Mom. Mom, no.
- Yeah. Oh!
He's grabbing the phone!
- Yeah. He's grabbing the phone!
- No, no, no. Don't hand it to him.
- Mom? Mom. I don't want to talk to him.
- Yeah!
Yeah!
Where is our world traveler today?
Oregon. Looking for seabirds.
Oregon.
I guess everybody needs a vacation.
It's not a vacation, Dad.
It's not work.
Unless somebody's paying you
to stay in hotels and look at birds.
- Dad!
- Okay, okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just kind of confused about
what a vacation is.
Okay, Dad, you know what? I gotta run.
Hey. Hey. Brad?
Great talking to you.
Dear God.
Probably could have used
another cup of coffee.
I think I broke my arm.
Shut up.
In birding terms,
what Bostick and Fuchs saw that day
was nothing short of a miracle.
Unbelievable.
This is the rarest bird I've ever seen.
It's like we were meant to crash here.
We were.
They had survived a near-fatal crash,
only to stumble upon
a great spotted woodpecker.
Do you realize how rare that is?
Statistically, in the Pacific Northwest,
they had a greater chance
of seeing a unicorn.
All of a sudden your arm
doesn't feel so broke, does it?
You could chop my arm off.
How's the conference?
How bad could it be?
It's Paris. How's it going there?
Glorious! Dawn just broke.
Tamaulipas crows'll be here any minute.
I'm happy for you.
But I wish you were here.
You're just jealous.
Mmm. Green.
What was that?
I'm renovating.
Again? I thought we just got done
redoing the whole house.
Uh-huh.
But not the upstairs and the kitchen.
Whoa, the kitchen?
I thought we had an agreement that
we were gonna wait on doing the kitchen.
I thought you agreed to wait
to do another Big Year.
Jess, I've told you,
the birds wait for no man.
And neither do I.
So I had to hire Frank Falucci,
seeing as you're so busy.
You hired my competitor?
That's gonna drag on forever.
No, 'cause I said to Frank
that I'd give him a bonus
if he was done by April.
A bonus?
All right, but, jeez, babe, please,
you've got to keep an eye on this.
You cannot trust contractors.
I'm well aware, honey.
Okay, so is it old man Frank
in charge of the job,
or is it his kind of good-looking son
who's doing it?
He's not that good-looking.
Where are you, anyway?
I'm in Wyoming. I got to bag a sage grouse.
- Is it beautiful there?
- No.
It's hot and dusty. It's a real dump.
Ketchup potato chip?
Ketchup potato chip?
- Ketchup potato chip?
- No, thank you.
You want a ketchup potato chip?
No?
This is what happens to retirees, Stu.
They lose their minds.
Hey, look, everybody! Vultures!
You have to handle
the negotiations yourselves.
I told you, I'm done.
The company is your baby, sir,
and it's in trouble.
Yeah, and your baby's
wandered into the street.
- And there are cars coming.
- Your baby needs you, Stu.
Save your baby!
You guys are pathetic.
- Two days. Two.
- That's all we're asking.
- Just till the deal's closed.
- And you'll never hear from us again.
Two days. Then I'm done.
- You got it.
- Two days in New York
- and then you migrate.
- Migrate!
See, you're not the only one
with a sense of humor.
Yes, I am.
Falucci.
Long time no see, Bostick.
You remember my kid Frank Jr.
It's a beautiful place you got here, sir.
Yeah, it was.
All right, Falucci, I'm gonna be going over
your time sheets like a hawk,
so you might want to
ease up on the snack breaks.
Your wife wasn't exaggerating.
Everything with you is birds, Bostick!
Yeah, it is.
Jess?
Jess?
No. No! What the...
Jess?
- Hello, stranger. This is a rare sighting.
- Hi.
Yeah. What have you done to our house?
- Do you like it so far?
- So far?
Please don't tell me there's more to come!
This is crazy!
Are you trying to get my attention?
It worked.
Is that the point of all this?
I don't know. I don't know, Kenny.
What is the point?
I'm surprised to still see
this room standing,
that you didn't take
a sledgehammer to this.
I'm supposed to put
my life on hold for a year?
Like a pathetic golf widow?
You're not a golf widow.
You can't compare golf to this.
Golf's just like a hobby.
And the birding is what exactly?
I don't know, it's like a calling.
This is like my calling.
Like Gandhi?
No, come on.
I'm not comparing myself to Gandhi, okay?
That's ridiculous. Okay?
It's more like I'm Mozart, I guess.
Okay, fine. You got a calling.
I got a calling, too.
- It's known as a baby.
- Yeah.
I know. I like to think that that's like
another one of my callings, too.
And you're gonna have to contribute,
you realize, eventually.
- I realize.
- In person.
Yes. In person.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Really? 'Cause I ain't so sure, Wolfgang.
Maybe I can convince you.
I didn't mean now.
Come on. What's the matter with now?
'Cause we have a house full of men.
Just pretend they're not there.
Okay, pretend that we don't care
that they're there.
I'm pretending.
...throughout much of the Southwest,
spreading all the way into
the Pacific Northwest.
Now, for those of you in the Southeast,
Texas will be experiencing
high winds this morning,
as this storm moves very quickly south
into the Gulf of Mexico.
If you're planning to be
anywhere in the Gulf today,
better batten down the hatches.
We are talking about a storm
that may last for 72 hours.
Look at these waves, these winds,
- and strong storms.
- Fallout.
- We are talking hurricane-force winds.
- Kenny.
I know this is bad. I know this makes me
look like a world-class asshole,
- but, babe, I gotta go.
- Kenny! Kenny!
Kenny!
I'll call you!
Bill? Don't say no. I'm going to Texas.
I'm getting on a plane right now.
Texas? You just got back.
Bill! There is going to be
major fallout in a few hours.
- Nuclear fallout?
- Bird fallout.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about a major storm
hitting the Gulf of Mexico
in the middle of migration season.
I'm talking about headwinds
and downpours
and a hundred thousand birds
literally dropping from the sky!
I'll put it down as a sick day.
- Stu.
- Hey.
- Where you going?
- Texas.
Texas? Now? What about Mclntire?
How do we explain this?
Act of God.
Act of God? No! That's not gonna work!
Stop this car! Stop this car!
Those damn birds!
Stu arrived on the outskirts of Houston
feeling liberated after skipping out on
his meeting in New York.
I really believe I can win this thing.
Bostick, not surprisingly,
was supremely confident.
Yes! Yes!
I really think I've got this thing locked up.
And I got to admit, I was feeling
that luck was on my side for a change.
I'm starting to think I have a chance.
I had done the math.
I knew what spring fallout meant.
A world record was within my grasp.
Whoa!
Unbelievable.
Oh, my God.
Faced with that headwind,
they have to come down
at the first land they see,
and that's right here.
One thing's for sure,
today's happening is strictly
for the birds. Gretchen.
Come on, guys, get... Keep it moving!
Come on, we got a lot of birds to see.
Bloody ass. Only Americans can
turn birding into a competition!
That's right.
You don't want to miss this one!
What?
- Brad!
- Stu!
I knew you'd be here. I was looking for you.
- Me, too.
- This is incredible, isn't it?
I know. Where do we even start?
There's the best birder in the world.
Maybe we should...
Follow him.
Prothonotary warbler.
Gotcha.
Oh! Blue grosbeak.
It's a buffet.
So I play what the kids wanna hear
While I spange on Broadway
Shine, let it shine
Even if it burns your eyes
This light of mine is mine
And I'm gonna let it shine...
Ever get the feeling you're being followed?
- Hello, master.
- How you doing, Stu?
Still filling those weekends, I see.
Unless you and your son here
are doing a Big Year.
Oh! Kenny Bostick,
this is my friend Brad Harris.
Who's also not doing a Big Year.
That's funny how
nobody's doing a Big Year.
Yeah. With all this fallout and El Nio.
Yeah, I know, you'd think
the conditions are just set up perfect
for someone to have a real shot at
breaking my record.
- Not that record.
- Pink-footed goose!
Pink-footed goose,
other end of the boardwalk.
- What the hell's that doing here?
- Be careful!
Hey, put her down!
Hey, hey, please, let the explorers through!
- Of course.
- Let's go, ladies. Jeesh.
After you, kids.
Get those badges.
Chop, chop, chop, chop!
Step it up! Stepping lively!
Move it along!
Thank you.
She took off. Headed north.
Probably be in Iceland by Friday.
Boy, she was a beaut, too!
Hey, is that a Calliope?
Nah.
Sorry to disappoint you boys again.
Good evening. Tonight's special is quail.
I highly recommend it.
- I couldn't.
- Yeah, not tonight.
I'll have the halibut.
And a bottle of this Montrachet.
Of course.
And I will have the soup. Thank you.
Really? After being outside all day
in the wind and rain?
Kind of a light eater.
And the truth is
the prices here are
a little steeper than I'm used to.
- Brad, I invited you to dinner.
- I know, but...
No, it's my pleasure.
Look, when I'm birding,
I don't fly first class or hire guides.
It's too much like corked bats
and steroids to me.
But tonight we're celebrating.
We saw 136 species!
Brad, 136!
Here's to them.
And to the one who got away.
Pink-footed goose.
The Montrachet.
Good. And my friend would like to
see the menu again, please.
Of course.
Cool.
That shrimp scampi was calling my name,
if you must know.
- That's a little too much.
- Okay.
By the end of the meal,
I felt like I'd known Stu for years.
It was rare to meet a birder
as obsessed as I was.
And even rarer to meet one
who could pay for dinner.
I mean, I'm 36.
I'm divorced.
I have a job I hate.
I just want to do something big, you know?
Make my mark.
So what are you gonna do?
My dad doesn't get it.
He's had the same boring job for 40 years.
"That's what people do," he says.
He's right.
Most people just stay on the beaten path,
then one day,
they wake up and realize they didn't do
everything they wanted to do.
Look at me. I was so afraid to retire,
I had to do it twice
before I finally got out here.
Why'd you wait so long?
'Cause I'm an idiot.
Okay, I gotta tell you.
I'm doing a Big Year.
Wow.
I know.
I don't know
what made me blurt it out like that.
Confidence? Innocence? Alcohol?
It just never occurred to me
that Stu might be doing his own Big Year.
Don't tell anybody, okay?
I guess I just assumed he'd be honest.
I guess I just assumed
honor and decency would prevail.
I guess I just assumed we were friends.
Mum's the word.
- We won't have to eat for a week.
- I'm hurting.
Great dinner.
Good luck.
Thanks again.
Hey, it's me,
Mozart.
The fallout's over and now I'm calling
to deal with the fallout from the fallout.
Look, babe, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make it up to you, you'll see.
I'm going to...
Where are you, anyway? It's late there.
- I hope you're okay, babe.
- Oh! Where am I?
I'm shooting hormones into my butt
so I can have your baby, Kenny.
Okay, I'm going to hit the sack here,
but I will try you in the morning,
and I'm gonna be launching a new thing
called Operation Sweep Her Off Her Feet.
So, you might want to get ready,
'cause it's gonna be pretty spectacular.
Okay? All right. Talk to you tomorrow.
Pomarine jaeger, nine o'clock!
Brad.
- Brad!
- No.
- Oh! Sorry.
- Sorry.
"Met a dapper white-haired guy
who was really seasick
"on a pelagic near Coos Bay.
"Got a peek at his list.
"Four hundred and ninety-seven species
as of May 8.
"He's definitely doing a Big Year.
"If he doesn't barf himself to death."
I still feel like a heel.
Feel like I led him on.
But I'm afraid
if he knew about my Big Year,
Bostick'd get it out of him eventually.
And why is it so important to
keep this secret from Bostick?
Less competition he thinks he has,
the more he's likely to throttle back,
not try so hard.
Not grind for the extra birds.
Maybe I could sneak past him.
Do whatever it takes
to set that record, honey.
You know how much it means to me.
I miss you, doll.
What are you doing this weekend?
I could get us a room in Saint Paul,
not far from the Sax Zim Bog.
Really! Not far from the bog.
Wow, you do know how to woo a girl.
Ah! There's my friend Jim calling me.
Uh-oh.
I love you.
- Spot something rare for me.
- You know I will.
Hey, Jim.
Yeah, listen, talks broke down.
Deal was dead by 10:00. Over.
Total acrimony. On the way out the door,
we agreed to a do-or-die session, May 14th,
here in New York in our office.
I can't. Impossible.
- I'm flying to Attu on the 14th.
- To where?
Attu, Alaska. And I can't miss the flight.
There's not another one for a week.
Stu, you're not involved, the deal dies.
Look, you gave these people their jobs.
If you don't do something,
they're gonna lose them!
And that means a hell of a lot more
than some birds on Attu.
Attu. The westernmost island
of the Aleutian chain.
So far west, it's closer to Tokyo
than to Anchorage.
There are no hotels, no phones,
no restaurants, no toilets.
Not the kind that flush, anyway.
But for birders, Attu was paradise.
Nobody could hope to win a Big Year
without going to Attu in May.
Mom's Taxi Service! I'm sorry I'm late.
You're gonna be a little chilly in Alaska.
I'm not going.
Stop packing. I'm serious! Mom!
Are you upset because
you think you can't win,
- or because he lied to you?
- Both. And what about Bostick?
Who?
Kenny Bostick, the best birder in the world.
I think he might be doing another Big Year.
What chance do I have?
Oh, Brad, you have 486 birds.
You're on a record pace.
You can't quit now!
- Mom, my credit card is maxed out.
- No. No. No. No.
Even if I go to Alaska,
there's no way I can complete the year!
This has a $6,000 limit.
Bring me back some Alaska pictures.
- No, Mom, I can't.
- No, no, no, no.
Get dressed. Your plane leaves in an hour.
Don't piss off your travel agent.
I had no idea this car could go this fast.
If you miss this plane,
there's not another one for a week.
So, we gotta do it.
Mom, Mom, Mom!
- Welcome back, Mr. Preissler!
- Thank you.
Thanks for being here, Stu.
I can give you four hours, that's it.
Then I've got to catch my flight to Alaska.
- No problem.
- How was your trip?
- Louisiana was spectacular.
- Lot of birds in the bayou.
And saw a loggerhead shrike
from my hotel room in Natchitoches.
Adorable!
It imitates the songs of other birds
to lure them in close.
Uh-huh.
Then it impales them on thorns,
breaks their necks and eats them.
Yeesh!
We'll assume the cost of
retrofitting the plants,
but that still leaves
the non-compete clause.
Barry says you have an issue with it.
No. It's not a big issue,
but I'm not like you, Stu.
I'm not ready to hang it all up so I can
spend the rest of my life bird watching.
It's called "birding," Rick.
And there's no wiggle room here.
This is a deal-breaker for us.
Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait.
Four hours ago, you said
that everything was negotiable.
What, was this just so you could
lure me in to finish me off?
The shrike.
It's 11:15.
I should have left for the airport
All right. Stu!
Just wait, one second, please. One second.
Let me talk to my people.
Just give me five minutes. Okay?
Okay, Stu, 48 months and you got a deal.
They'll shake.
The Lexington side!
Okay, I'm coming out now!
Are you there?
Come up! Pull up in front!
There's taxis there. Flash your lights!
Go! Go, go, go, go!
Kenny? This is Karen, my blushing bride.
Attu's gonna be our honeymoon.
Wow!
Okay, now, Karen,
you're not a birder, are you?
No. No, I'm just along for the ride.
Honeymoon on Attu.
That should be unforgettable.
Yeah.
Attu? What were you thinking?
Come on, let's go!
What are we waiting for?
The charter's sold out,
but two guys haven't shown up yet.
I'm here!
Okay, sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Okay.
Nice of you to join us.
You're Stu's little sidekick, aren't you?
Oh, yeah, me and Stu are like that.
I know all his secrets.
Yeah? Cookie?
Yeah, thanks.
All his secrets.
Apparently, he's doing a Big Year. Oops.
He probably wouldn't
want you to know that.
What's his total?
By now? Over 500.
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Gives him a shot at your record, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, that...
He's a pretty spry old guy.
He's definitely got a shot at my record.
Of course, he probably would have had
a better shot if he had made this flight.
Oh, God.
- What's your total?
- Hmm?
What's your total?
- I'm not doing a Big Year.
- No?
Mmm-mmm.
Another cookie?
No, one's my limit.
The pilot says this is a Siberian storm?
Attu Island, meet El Nio.
Makes for great birding.
Oh, my God!
Nice job up there in the cockpit!
Way to go, guys! Attu!
Bostick!
Welcome, birders, to Attu.
Welcome, birders, to Attu.
Let's take this spot. Go right in here.
In here.
Okay. Yeah.
I'll take the top.
Yeah.
Welcome to the honeymoon suite!
Unforgettable.
Wally, how are you?
Hey, Bostick.
That old Attu air.
How you doing, Dolores?
Mrs. Suzuki.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Here they are.
Now I'm in Attu.
Prime real estate.
Okay.
I've only been here a week,
and my life list is already at 578.
- You want to see?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- I'd love to.
- That is the American...
- That's so beautiful.
Yeah, golden plover.
You guys have the same eyes.
Rustic bunting.
- Excuse me.
- Massacre Valley.
Rustic bunting.
- Coming through.
- Hurry!
- Massacre Valley, come on!
- Let's go, let's go!
- Just follow us!
- The south side trail.
Kenny! Rustic bunting!
Really? I'll catch up to you.
Go back!
Go back, you guys!
The bunting flew back toward Casco Cove!
The other way!
The rustic bunting is up there!
Bunting's gone up the hill!
Turn around, turn around!
The bunting flew down the hill! Go back!
- What?
- Go back!
No, the bunting flew down the hill!
Gladys, we finally found the bunting.
It's at Murder Point.
Bostick had adopted a technique
perfected by devious birds like the skua.
He let others do the grunt work,
then seized the spoils.
There's an eyebrowed thrush back here.
- There it is!
- Where?
Oh, hey, everybody.
Bostick.
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Jason, just so our viewers
can take precautions here,
how severe is this storm going to be?
In one word, it's going to be intense.
We're expecting a tremendous
amount of snow.
It'll be tough out there for man or beast.
But you were telling me a moment ago,
there are at least a few people
happy about this Siberian storm, right?
I can tell you that the birders
over at Attu are going to love it.
So far they've spotted such rarities
as a pin-tailed snipe
and an Oriental greenfinch.
Snipe and greenfinch.
And these are birds that nobody's seen
in North America for how long?
- Ten, 20, 30 years?
- Thirty years at least. If ever.
And I'm happy if I can spot a pigeon.
Hey, Brad!
I made it!
Boy, oh, boy,
are you a sore for sight eyes, huh?
I was just headed out.
I wanted to tell you,
but Bostick has a way of getting
information out of people.
Yeah, I guess he's not the only one.
I didn't get it out of you, Brad.
You offered it to me.
Oh, come on! You bought me drinks
and got what you wanted!
That's not why I asked you to dinner.
I told you about my wife.
My fear of retirement.
You think I'd discuss that stuff
with just anybody?
Nope. Just the people you think
are doing a Big Year.
Brad, listen.
You were ready to talk about your Big Year.
I wasn't ready to talk about mine.
That's all it was.
Have you checked your messages lately?
Up here?
What, are you kidding me?
I left a full confession five days ago.
I felt bad.
Really?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I guess I have a confession to make, too.
You told Bostick, didn't you?
Yes. Sorry.
Oh, well.
Is it true this was the greatest week
in Attu history?
Yeah. But the birds are still here.
Unless there's a freak blizzard,
you'll still get to see them.
Sorry about the freak blizzard.
I shouldn't have said there's gonna be
a freak blizzard.
That jinxed it.
No, that's the thing.
We couldn't figure it out.
What's a bird who only eats mosquitoes
doing in Wisconsin in February?
Then we found it. On the porch.
Bug zapper, with a 12-month supply
of freeze-dried mosquitoes in its tray.
That little sucker was in heaven.
How about the most tropical bird
you've seen this year?
Western spindalis, Key West.
Hardest to find.
Rufous-capped warbler.
Perched on a toilet brush
in a cabin near El Paso.
I almost wish I didn't see that one.
One that got away.
That's easy. Snowy owl.
I just can't seem to nail that sucker!
I've been out six times this year
and I still haven't gotten one.
Six trips to see one bird.
That sounds an awful lot
like a man doing a Big Year.
It takes one to know one, right, Stu?
Cheers. Of course, then again,
maybe I just love to bird.
- What do you got?
- Bald eagle.
Big deal! We all got one five months ago.
It's got a lady friend.
Of all courtship rituals
in the animal kingdom,
the most spectacular by far
is that of the bald eagle.
The male and female climb
to dizzying heights
and then...
...join in free fall,
plummeting toward earth,
locked in each other's embrace,
separating only at the very last moment.
God, I miss Edith.
Yeah, I kind of miss Jess.
Oh, hey.
Oh! It's the man with the golden ear.
- Yep.
- I thought you were just lucky last time,
but word has it around the barracks
that you're something of an idiot savant.
Without the "idiot" part.
No, no, that's... I'm an idiot.
It's true.
Okay, let me see if I can try to stump you.
Okay.
Greater roadrunner.
Yep. Not bad. Okay.
Come on. Easy. Common raven.
Let's take it to the next level.
Okay. All right, you asked for it.
Oh, yeah. Audubon oriole?
Oh, yeah, wow.
That, in my opinion,
is the most beautiful girl...
Bird in the world.
Is it true that you have
a life list of 578 birds?
Yeah! Yeah.
My mom thinks that my obsession
with birds is ruining my life.
Tell me about it.
My dad even blames the birds
for my wife leaving.
But what does he know?
I mean, that's not why.
We had other issues. But...
- It was the birds.
- It was the birds.
Hey. How did it go?
It kind of bogged down
when I got to talking about my ex-wife.
I know, I know!
That's about the top of the list
of the fifty worst pickup lines.
Yeah. "Hi. I'm divorced.
"Didn't go so good,
but I got a good feeling about this one."
Oh, boy.
Ew! What is that smell?
The good doctors are whipping up
a homemade batch of bird bait.
We've been fermenting it out back
since we got here.
It's like crack cocaine to the gulls.
What are you doing? This is my scarf!
Oh, sorry.
This scarf is from Bergdorf's!
This scarf cost $250!
- I wouldn't go out there if I...
- Shut up!
Look at my scarf!
This should be fun.
Oh, no! No!
- Get away!
- Honey? Throw it away!
- Go...
- Get away!
Don't take my scarf! Give it back to me!
Hitchcockian.
What's he doing up there?
- How many do you think he has?
- I wouldn't guess.
But you know what?
That's not the point.
We can't take our eyes off the ball.
You think he lets anything slow him down?
I made work my priority
and I missed the boat.
You got your feelings hurt
and you almost quit!
No more, Brad.
Think like him, act like him.
One of us has to beat this SOB!
Yeah. Yeah!
And here's what you do about Ellie!
I don't think I'm ready.
Tell her you want
to exchange phone numbers
in case there's a rare sighting this summer.
I said I'm not ready!
But that is a really good idea.
Thanks.
Good luck, Stu.
Whoo!
In the next eight weeks,
I traveled 14,000 miles across 21 states
and saw 56 new birds.
I also ate about 300 bags of pretzels
and maxed out seven credit cards,
including my mom 's,
but man, that was an awesome summer.
So come, fly away
Through the clouds into the sun
Far away from everyone
Come, fly away
When we get above the rain
They are all sunny days
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird...
Hello. Hi.
You know that pink-footed goose
that you missed in Texas?
Guess what just showed up here in Boston.
Really?
You know how you look forward
to something happening for a long time
and then suddenly it is happening
and now you're not sure
if you're even ready for it to happen?
That's how I felt about seeing... that goose.
Ellie!
- Hey.
- Hi.
How's your Big Year going?
I don't want to jinx it,
but it's going very, very good.
I saw a flamingo in the Everglades
last week.
Wow!
Got about a thousand mosquito bites,
but it was worth it.
Doing a Big Year and working full-time?
I really admire that, Brad.
You know what I admire?
That you're not doing a Big Year.
- Why?
- Because it's pure!
It's all about the love of birds for you.
How do you know I'm not doing a Big Year?
You left it there? You're brave.
But Darren's driving.
- Nice. Darren?
- My boyfriend?
- Ah!
- Darren, this is Brad.
Welcome to Boston, bro.
So, Ellie tells me you guys are going
to look for a... What is it, a pink goose?
- No, it's not...
- Nope. Not a pink goose.
No such thing as a pink goose.
It's a pink-footed goose, so...
If I came to see a pink goose,
then I guess this whole trip
would have been a big waste of time,
wouldn't it?
"Pink goose."
Maybe there's a purple swan out there, too.
Let's go!
You want to hear the punch line?
The pink-footed goose
had already skipped town.
We'll get it one day.
Brad, Edith had a boyfriend
when I first met her.
You never know. The final chapter
might not be written with Ellie.
Yeah.
Thanks, Stu.
The week that Stu missed on Attu
was costly. He'd fallen way behind.
But back on the mainland,
there was news that changed everything.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Come see.
- Can't wait.
- Wow. He's adorable.
- Hey, Grandpa.
What's his name?
No one told you?
All I heard was you hadn't decided yet.
Name's Stuart, Dad. Call him Stu.
Really?
Well, that's something.
- You want to hold him?
- Yeah.
Hey.
- Hold his head.
- I remember.
Stu! Stu!
How you doing? How you doing?
Hey, you don't want to look at big face?
Hey, buddy.
Hey. Hey, buddy.
Ain't he cute? So cute.
Spotted something rare for you.
Hey, buddy. You want to go birding?
Huh? Want to do the rumba?
Taxi!
JFK.
Bye.
In the days that followed,
it proved harder than
Stu could have guessed
to resume his Big Year.
Everywhere he went, in Des Moines
and Yosemite, and Galveston,
he began to see hints of his own mortality.
Even in a blade of grass.
He missed his wife.
He missed his family.
Was his migrating instinct waning at last?
Was his Big Year really just a big mistake?
Blue-footed booby! Orcas Island, right?
- Hey.
- How many?
You might want to sit down.
Edith gave me a pep talk last month.
You?
You're not bad at the pep talks yourself.
- Me and my big mouth.
- How many?
Wow! Welcome to the 700 Club, kid.
That is rarefied air.
Of course, it's this old-timer
we got to worry about.
- What's your number?
- You don't want to know.
- I do. Scare me.
- How about 730?
Really?
Wow, and here I thought I was
the bomb at 728.
Hey, hang in there. You still got a shot.
Yeah. Thank you for that reassuring
pat on my shoulder.
All right, have a good day.
I just wanted to wipe that cocky grin
off his face.
You did that. He looked like
he'd just read his own obituary.
And we got his total.
Okay, yes, okay! Okay!
But I think you just woke a sleeping dog.
Yeah, yeah, we're getting on the boat.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Did our friend just say where he was going?
He wanted directions
to the Skagit Wildlife Area.
Blue-footed booby's on the move.
This is me.
No bird.
And no Bostick.
NARBA says the blue-footed booby's
still on the island.
And we just missed the last ferry.
You know the beauty of it?
He never lied to us.
He never even spoke to us.
The man's a genius.
He's a machine. He's a birding machine.
Unless he was bluffing, too.
Or cheating.
Maybe he just wants it more.
Oh, screw that!
I've spent 10 months of my life on this,
and every penny I have.
There is no way he wants it more than me!
Remember when you said
one of us has to beat this SOB?
Maybe we should...
Team up.
Team up!
I can't look at the rocket launch
The trophy wives of the astronauts
And I won't listen to their words
'Cause I like
Birds
I don't care for walking downtown
Crazy autocar gonna mow me down
Look at all the people like cows in a herd
Well, I like
Birds
I'm exhausted. I couldn't take another step.
Sandhill crane!
Oh, shit!
You took him up?
Okay. Thanks, Gil.
Bostick saw snowcocks.
I can't afford snowcocks!
Snowcocks are on me.
- I can't even afford this beer.
- That's on me, too.
You ever been in a helicopter?
Ah!
So, how long until we see some
Himalayan snowcocks?
You never know. It's a matter of luck.
Do we have to fly
this close to the mountains?
Close? This isn't close.
You want to see close?
No. No, no, no, no, no!
Whoa!
All right, there, there, there!
Himalayan just cleared the ridge!
You see it?
- No!
- No!
Oh, man! Come on, look!
Where are you? Come on.
There! There, there!
There, you see it? Right there!
Ride 'em, cowboy!
- Uh-oh!
- Ah!
Oh, God!
We're good. We're good.
Can we go home now?
Don't you want to get it on film?
- Hell, no!
- No! No! Home!
Hey!
- We're alive!
- We saw snowcocks!
Hey!
We're on a roll! Nothing can stop us now!
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird...
Hey, Mom.
What?
It's all right. It's okay.
So how many of these damn tests
are these clowns
gonna put me through before
they let me get the hell out of here?
Dad, you had a heart attack.
I had a minor heart attack, all right?
In my old man's day, it was not something
you went to the hospital for.
Let me show you some shots from the trip.
My little hobby. You should take a look.
What do we got here? There we go.
Colima warbler. That's Texas.
Had to hike eight miles to see that guy.
That's a spruce grouse.
Maine. That was butt-cold.
Another spruce grouse.
There's my favorite bird.
American golden plover.
That's your favorite bird. It's gray.
Yes, it is. Well, gray-brown.
Yeah, a lot of people wouldn't
think twice to look at this bird,
but this golden plover's one of
the greatest travelers in the world.
It's true. It breeds in the Arctic tundra,
then flies all the way down to Argentina
and back, all in one year.
It shows up on beaches of Guatemala.
On farms in Illinois.
Nine inches long, but he travels hundreds
of thousands of miles in his lifetime.
No passports, no security. Total freedom.
Yeah. This gray bird has seen
some amazing things.
And that's the bird
that everybody underestimates.
Yes!
Hey. Did you see a flammer?
I heard it. He just answered my call.
- Which direction?
- It doesn't matter.
We both heard it. That counts.
How do I know what I heard?
Maybe I just heard you.
Maybe I heard some SOB answering you.
I'm claiming it.
I mean, you heard what I heard.
You should claim it, too.
- Just tell me which direction, pal.
- It's over here.
Hey, hold up. I'll go with you.
Hey, Stu. Yeah, walk with me.
That was some trick you pulled on us
at Anacortes Ferry.
What trick?
Bostick, you're a hard guy to figure.
Seems like you'd do anything to win,
but that's not true, is it?
I work the angles just like everyone does.
Maybe even better.
Yeah, but when it comes
to the honor system,
you're as pure as snow.
Everyone in the clubhouse knows
which guy cheats on his score.
He's kind of pathetic.
Who'd want to be that asshole, right?
Bostick, this is strange to say,
but I actually kind of like you.
I kind of like you, too, Stu.
Yeah, you seem like a...
You seem like a genuinely nice guy.
Course, wasn't that how you got to Brad?
- I didn't get to...
- Yell if you find a flammer.
Bostick!
I see that you're going to come back
at least a couple more times.
So just fill out those forms
and we'll see you again.
Okay, great. Thank you.
Okay. We're all set.
But we do need your husband here
very soon:
He'll be here.
Sorry. Am I hurting you?
Oh, not at all.
Your husband does know today's the day?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Good. How are you, sir?
Tired.
The doctor's ready.
Should we maybe call your husband?
Can we give him five more minutes?
Okay.
Bostick!
- Yeah.
- Bostick, guess what I'm looking at.
Snowy owl.
Catch the 4:30 to Buffalo
and you will obliterate your own record.
Hold on. Kenny, where are you?
Jess, you cannot believe how hard
I have tried today to get there.
It's just been a complete nightmare
here in Chicago.
Hold on.
They've got like all the planes grounded,
or something, I don't know why...
Here you go, Mrs. B.
Sounds like you could use a cup of tea.
- Thanks, Frankie.
- Yeah.
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird...
Dad, can you grab that for me?
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird...
Yeah, yeah, hello.
Oh, hi. I'm trying to reach Brad?
Brad's upstairs. He's setting up
an oxygen tank for some old man.
Oh, can you tell him his friend Stu called?
I got word of a great gray owl in
the George Washington National Forest,
and since that's
in your neck of the woods...
Yeah, Brad's told me a lot about you, Stu.
Same here.
Quite a son you have there.
Between you and me, he might break
the world's record this year.
World record? Is that right?
Here, get your coat on.
Where are we going?
Some kind of an owl out in the woods.
I want to get a look at him.
An owl?
I always thought it was
kind of weird with birds.
The male is way colorful and fancy,
and the female is just plain.
The opposite from us, you know?
I don't know, Dad. You should check out
the family photo album sometime.
Those jackets you were sporting back
in the '70s were...
- My sport jacket?
- ...pretty colorful.
- Paisley polyester, huh?
- Yeah.
How do you think
I got your mother, eh? Huh?
Uh... I don't think so.
Jess?
Frankie? Is that you?
No.
- It's not what you think.
- What do I think?
You know what?
The Faluccis are taking me to a Jets game.
They wanted to get an early start.
And when I heard you come in,
I figured I'd overslept,
'cause it's not like you've been here
any morning in the last 10 months.
So you haven't slept with him.
No. I'd never do that to you.
You know, fallen in love or something?
No.
'Cause, believe it or not,
I'm still in love with you.
But I can't be married to you anymore.
- Jess...
- I'm gonna call Frank
and tell him that the game's a no go.
You okay?
I'm fine. Go ahead. Go ahead.
Brad!
All right, I want you to get that bird
before it gets dark.
- We will.
- No. No, no.
You go on without me.
- But...
- I'll be fine, okay?
Fine. Give me the tank.
Come on, come on. Give me the tank.
All right.
- Go get that bird. Go ahead. Go!
- All right.
Go on!
Look, you have every reason to be
really upset about the baby thing.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- That was terrible.
I know. I think in the heat of the moment,
I just plain choked,
but you got to give someone
a second chance.
- No.
- How can you say you love me and not
- be willing to try...
- Because, Kenny, it's a good thing
that I wasn't married to Gandhi or Mozart.
'Cause I just need to be with a guy
who'd rather be with me
- than with anything else.
- Jess, you are. Really.
Sure. As long as there's no
egret or owl or pelican or...
No, come on! Give me a break, Jess!
- Hold it! That's this year, then it's over!
- It's every year, Kenny.
- No!
- I know you.
I know that right now you're in pain,
trying to think how you're gonna get
on your flight to Phoenix
- without looking like a jerk.
- No. No. No, I'm really in pain
because I really love you,
and I'm scrambling to make this work.
Enough not to go to Arizona?
I have to go to Arizona.
Why? Why?
Because right now
there's a guy out there named Stu
with 730-plus birds,
and if I don't get out there,
people could say
he's the greatest birder of all time.
And he's not.
This is what I'm great at!
This is what I'll be remembered for!
No one remembers who comes in second.
I know. I know.
What are you doing?
You idiot, how could you just
leave him there?
God dang it!
Dad?
Dad!
Dad, are you okay?
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird...
- Hello?
- Hey, Brad!
It's me. There's a Pacific storm coming in.
A big one!
This could turn it around for us, buddy.
Huh? What?
Is today...
I don't believe it!
How could you not know?
Didn't your wife mention
it was Thanksgiving?
She doesn't like to rub it in
when the holidays roll around
and she knows I'm in a motel somewhere,
sitting around in my boxers.
Same thing happened last Fourth of July.
Okay, Fourth of July is one thing,
but Thanksgiving!
Make the next left.
Hey, Mr. Computer Genius Guy,
don't you have a calendar on that thing?
Didn't your folks tell you?
All my dad talks about is that damn owl.
Remind me to come over
to your house on Christmas.
We're trying to catch Bostick,
and you're our only...
Were you gonna say "hope"?
That pig's doing another Big Year?
It was epic! Four Siberian species,
two from China and one from Japan!
All right, so what's your total?
- 734, Dad.
- Whoo!
A new record. I'm gonna kick his ass.
"Bostick didn't have his usual cocky air.
"He was intense, tired, all-business.
"Frankly, he looked like a guy
who was trying to catch up."
So what do you think?
He's heard it through the grapevine
that Annie took us out on Thanksgiving.
Annie made sure of that.
So, yeah, maybe he's scared.
On the other hand, maybe he's shooting
for some ridiculous number
and won't slow down till he gets there.
What's a ridiculous number?
I mean, the guy is crazy!
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
- Here. Try fork.
- Okay, thank you. Thanks.
Hey. You want to...
You guys want to come sit with me?
I feel bad you're working on Christmas.
Come on.
Why you here? Why not with family?
Snowy owl, Chan.
Been up and down the Sax Zim Bog
looking for him.
It's the only breeding bird in
North America that's eluded me.
I'd like to see the birds of China one day.
- You know anything about that?
- Peking duck.
- Merry Christmas Eve.
- Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Hey, Barry. Happy holidays.
You and Jenny in Saint Barths
again this year?
Not exactly.
We all had to cancel our vacations.
Looks like we've been out-shriked.
- What?
- We're being bought by 3M.
Yeah, here's the thing, Stu.
You may want to sit down for this.
Looks like Simon Ross
is stepping down as CEO
and they want you to take over.
Stu, you started this company
in your garage.
You made it something big.
Now you have the chance to run
one of the biggest companies in the world.
It's what they call a lot of money.
But more than that, obviously,
your Big Year, it's coming to a close.
Do you really want to face the abyss?
The answer is yes, Jim.
Yes, you'll do it?
Yes, I want to face the abyss.
- No! Stu. Stu.
- No, no, no, no! Don't say that!
Don't say something you don't mean.
But I do mean it.
I really do.
I think we need to come there
and show you this offer face-to-face.
Absolutely!
Can't do it, guys.
Got to help a friend find a bird.
Those freaking birds!
Hey, when are you gonna tell me
what we're chasing?
We're going on a wild goose chase!
A goose with little pink feet.
You're crazy! Have you noticed the snow?
- That goose is in Scotland by now.
- You would think so, wouldn't you?
But my friend Jeff Shaw swears
he saw it up here yesterday.
Just out of curiosity,
what's Jeff Shaw smoking?
'Cause I'd like to get me some of that!
Wait! Wait! Did you hear that?
Pink-footed goose. I heard it!
Come on!
There. There.
Huh? Oh!
Looks like somebody's found a warm place
to spend the winter.
Wow.
- What does that give you?
- 741!
That, my friend, is a very Big Year.
Hey.
...five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
- Hey, look who's here, man!
- Oh, my God, Ray!
Hey, guys!
And never brought to mind
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word...
Hello?
- Whimbrel.
- Yep.
I just...
I just wanted to say happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you.
What are you doing?
Oh, watching TV by myself.
Darren and I broke up.
I am so sorry to hear that.
Did you just do a victory dance?
No. Maybe. Yes, I did. I did.
Well, not a victory dance
so much as a dance of celebration.
Have you seen the results?
They're in?
Okay. Did I win?
Bostick got 755 birds, Brad.
No!
Son of a bitch! I... That's...
That's shocking.
I know, it's not quite human.
But you are second! How amazing is that?
A full-time job and you're second?
And? You're third?
Fourth. What can I say?
I waited too long to do it.
No, you didn't. Don't say that.
Then you would have done it
some other year.
And really, we won.
What do you mean?
We won, Stu!
I don't know how else to put it.
I don't just mean I wouldn't have
come in second without you.
Although that's true.
I mean, I don't know, he got more birds,
but we got more everything.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Stu. Have I said thank you?
Hey, for what?
- Congrats.
- Take care, buddy.
Yep.
Looks like you'll be spending the weekend
with the second best birder in the world.
Bostick!
Five months later, the sooty shearwater
begins his migration all over again,
flying north to Hawaii.
Completely retired now, Stu spends
the summer hiking in the Rockies
with Little Stu, who seems to share
his grandfather's passion.
Hey, look at that.
That's a male goldfinch.
In a couple of months,
it's gonna turn all yellow.
To celebrate his victory,
Bostick goes to China.
Only he knows the price he's paid
to be the greatest birder in the world.
Me? I still go birding most weekends.
But the truth is, I don't pay
as much attention to the birds anymore.
There's a message in the skies
and in the streets
Opportunity, the American-y dream
It's in the radio
It's superstars
The arteries and veins that feed your heart
From the Dairy Queen
to the head of the parade
In a blink your life could change
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
Be yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
You come as Elvis Presley every Halloween
And dream of sing-alongs
the whole wide world will sing
Into the great unknown, Horatio
Desire and ambition fuel this heart
So take a breath and step into the light
Everything will be all right
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
All yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
All yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
English - US - SDH
Sure, they'll wake you up in the morning,
or ruin the fruit
in your garden.
And sometimes, of course,
they'll crap on your car.
But they're beautiful,
and they fly,
and they're capable of incredible things.
Take little sooty shearwater
of Tasmania, for example.
Before setting out
on his first migration to Hawaii,
he has to shed half of his body weight.
Me, I probably should've shed
half my body weight, too.
And I was trying, I really was.
Okay, maybe I wasn't trying that hard.
'Cause the truth is,
being thin was never really my dream.
No, I wanted to do something
even more amazing.
- Yo! Big bad Brad.
- Mmm?
- What you rocking out to, man?
- Um...
Clark's nutcracker.
I wanted to be the greatest birder
in the world. Seriously.
Rock on.
Rock on, Prasad.
How do you become
the greatest birder in the world?
You have to win the Big Year.
What's a Big Year?
Here, I'll let this English guy tell you.
Well into the 19th century,
Americans celebrated Christmas Day
with contests to kill
the most birds in a single day.
In 1900, Audubon Society ornithologist
Frank Chapman
suggested Americans should
count them instead,
leading eventually
to the creation of the Big Year,
a competition to see
the greatest number of birds
in North America in a calendar year.
Whoa!
In 2003, New Jersey roofing contractor
Kenny Bostick's Big Year
resulted in an astonishing 732 species,
breaking Sandy Komito's
North American record.
Many believe that Bostick's record of 732
would stand forever,
especially Mrs. Bostick.
A Big Year?
Kenny, you promised me you were
never gonna do another Big Year.
Jess, I'm just going out to set the pace.
I promise I'll be back as soon as I'm sure
there's no one out there
who can break my record.
Your record. What's the big deal?
The big deal? Hey, "Lance Armstrong,
what's the big deal?"
Or, hey, "Columbus, what's the big deal
with that whole New World thing?"
Didn't you tell me that a Big Year
killed your marriage to Steph in '03?
First of all, I was married to Bridget in '03.
Didn't you tell me that a Big Year
killed your marriage to Bridget?
A contributing factor,
but, no, not the main reason.
There were so many other problems
with that marriage.
Kenny, I'm getting fertility treatments!
And you promised.
You said you were gonna
build a new room for the baby.
I know. That was before El Nio.
Now I'm really worried
someone's gonna try to beat 732.
Bostick was right. Somebody was
going to try to be beat 732.
Yours truly.
Of course, I wasn't the only challenger
for the title.
I didn't know it at the time,
but up in New York,
a rich executive named Stu Preissler
was also making plans for a Big Year.
We're still nowhere on the deal.
Chemwall won't budge on any key points.
Mclntire used to work for you.
Maybe if you negotiated with him directly...
Sorry, guys. January 1st, I'm outta here.
- Oh, right, you're retiring again.
- Again.
This time I mean it.
Next year is all about the birds.
Edith's already in Colorado
setting up the new house.
So live in the new house
and work from home.
Use the jet. I mean, it's your jet.
- It's your company!
- Forget the birds.
You're big boys now.
You'll be fine without me.
You realize, of course, that the phase
after retirement looks a little bit like this.
Stu was torn. He ruled a vast empire,
his days were full, his opinions mattered.
Was he really ready to move on?
Am I nuts, Edith?
Maybe I should do my Big Year next year.
It might make more sense.
No. Go do it now, Stu.
Carpe annum!
- Seize the...
- Year.
So that's it?
Complete support?
You're not even gonna try and stop me?
Stu, I love you, and I will miss you dearly
when you're away.
But you have been dreaming about this
since you were a little boy,
and I am not gonna stand between you
and your greatest passion.
Not my greatest passion.
Three, two, one! Happy New Year!
Hey.
Excuse me!
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
I just want to make a little toast
to my folks.
Hey, okay.
To my dad, who proved today
that he can still kick my ass on skis.
Hey, I let you win a few
just to keep you hanging around.
My childhood in a nutshell,
ladies and gentlemen.
And to my mom,
who had the vision and confidence
to design a house
with enough room for grandchildren.
- Hear, hear.
- If you build it, they will come.
Yes, and in this case,
sometime around the middle of May.
- Really?
- Yes!
That's why she was
tossing her cookies all month.
You're not the only one
having a big year, Dad.
Congratulations. Hey.
Day one, Bostick was up before dawn,
focused and ready.
NARBA hotline.
Give your code word at the beep.
Great gray owl.
There has been a second spotting
of the Nutting's flycatcher
in Patagonia Lake State Park.
A thousand miles away, Stu was
up early, too, though not quite as focused.
- You ready?
- To the bottom?
- You're on, old man.
- We'll see about that.
Edith, count us off.
On your mark. Get set. Go!
You'd think they'd be exhausted by now.
They're men, dear.
If they ever stop competing, they die.
To win a Big Year takes experience,
determination and patience.
To win a second Big Year,
you've got to be obsessed.
Bostick began his Big Year on fire.
He knew that most birders
couldn't afford to challenge him.
Some of us had already been derailed
by injury.
While others had seen
their nest eggs depleted.
Dad! I got into Yale!
Still, Bostick was relentless.
He knew that potential rivals lurked
behind every tree and bush.
Bingo.
What would you guys do without me?
You okay?
Magpie!
Raven!
Pine grosbeak.
Yay!
- Spot something rare for me.
- You know I will.
I have some exciting news.
I'm gonna be working
as a travel agent again.
For who?
For Brad.
I'm handling his travel for the next year.
Travel? Travel where?
I'm doing a Big Year, Dad.
Spending the year trying to see as many
different species of bird as I can.
I've been dreaming about this
for a long time.
This is my year.
I've saved 5 grand
and I'm gonna need five more,
and I was wondering if
you'd consider sponsoring me?
Sponsoring you.
I'd pay you back. With interest.
- Think of it as an investment.
- An investment.
Yeah, sure. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, it sounds like a great investment.
I just hope word doesn't get out.
All the neighbors will want
a piece of the action.
You know what? Forget it.
I'm gonna do it myself, so...
You're 36 years old!
You quit grad school.
You quit your job at Dell.
You quit your marriage.
Sooner or later, you're gonna have to
actually do something with your life!
This is what I'm doing!
But I guess you got it all figured out.
That's why your whole life
has been nothing but bliss!
Bill, Tower One's good to go.
I'll debug the rest when I get back Monday.
- Yeah, that bird thing, right?
- Yeah.
Listen, I'll pay you time-and-a-half to
work this weekend and catch us up.
That'd pay for a lot of airfare, right?
Thanks, Bill, but I'm already getting
a late start as it is.
So, what do you win? Is there prize money?
No prize money,
but the birdseed endorsements are huge.
- Seriously?
- No.
Okay, so why do you do it?
It's kind of hard to explain.
You know what's hard to explain? To them?
A core meltdown of the new reactor
that irradiates the entire Atlantic coast.
Okay. Shit.
Double-time. And that's unprecedented.
Okay. But I am definitely
leaving on the 20th.
NARBA hotline.
Give your code word at the beep.
Red-tailed hawk.
A Xantus's hummingbird has been seen
in a backyard in Gibsons, British Columbia.
The Xantus's is Code Five.
How do you do, ma'am?
I was wondering if...
The hummingbird's out there now.
- Let me just get you the key to the gate.
- Oh! Fantastic.
I've been meaning to ask one of you people,
do you have to get a snapshot of the bird?
Is that a rule?
No. Believe it or not,
it's all on the old-fashioned honor system.
But you just have to say you saw it?
No. In fact, if you can recognize a bird
by its song, you just have to hear it.
Oh.
But I see everybody with a camera.
You really want a photograph
if it's a rare one,
same as you would the Taj Mahal.
Oh! Stay on the path.
I'll bring it right back.
- This is Stu.
- Stu, it's Barry.
I'm here with Jim and the lawyers.
We just need a little help. Stu. Stu?
Stu?
Goddamn it!
I hope we're not catching you at a bad time.
As a matter of fact...
Look, we need a little expert guidance.
We have reached an impasse
with Chemwall.
- They don't...
- It's going south, Stu.
They don't want to give up
their production facilities in Nevada.
Hold out. Their R & D is prehistoric.
It's all about the real estate.
Look, I gotta go.
I'm about to miss a Code Five.
No, no...
What the hell's he talking about?
Birds.
"One of the greatest birders
I've ever seen"?
Me?
Crane, I'm touched.
Do you ever think about doing a Big Year?
You could be the next Bostick.
Not to toot my own horn,
but I could do something
pretty extraordinary.
Western tanager.
With just a few notes, I could recognize
hundreds of species by song alone.
Hey, all you birders. I'm Annie Auklet.
If you haven't sailed with me before,
yep, that's my real name.
I love those seabirds so damn much,
I had it legally changed in 1990.
Now a couple of rules.
If you can't swim,
wear a life jacket.
Rule number two,
I'm in charge of this itinerary.
And if you have a problem with that,
you can take your candy-colored butt
and put it right back in the rental car.
All right. Come on, line up.
What was that all about?
Back in '03,
Annie stopped a boat to look at a whale
and Bostick led a mutiny.
Look, no one paid to see Shamu!
Get the hell off my bridge!
Just show us something
with some feathers
or let me steer this thing!
- Now you're gonna cut me?
- Get off my bridge, pal!
- 'Cause we won't look at your whale?
- I'll use you for chum!
You're crazier than a road lizard!
He kind of had a point.
No, he is in violation of all the
unwritten rules for decorum and civility.
Yeah, well, maybe that's what it takes
to be the greatest birder on Earth.
Or maybe it just takes
adding a few birds to your list
that perhaps you never saw.
Whoa. Are you saying Bostick's a cheater?
I'm just saying it'd be wise
to keep your eye on the sparrow.
That record'll never be broken.
- Yep.
- Thanks, man.
- Thanks, man!
- Thanks.
Now, why would I help a pig like you
win another Big Year, Bostick?
Because if he were trying to
do another Big Year,
a pig like me wouldn't want any help.
But I'm not, Annie. I'm just looking.
Just trying to reconnect with that little boy
who fell in love with blue jays
and mourning doves a million years ago.
You're not gonna deny me that.
Come on, have a heart.
Just stay the hell off my bridge.
Deal.
- Western screech owl.
- Capital. Yes.
- You.
- Okay.
Red-shouldered hawk.
- Close, but no cigar.
- Red-tailed hawk?
Yes! You, sir, win the stogie.
Straight, straight ahead.
Kittiwake!
Bostick suspected every birder
he met of doing a Big Year.
And he'd do anything he could
to distract 'em.
Like a peregrine falcon he'd circle his prey,
and then pounce.
Seasickness? I feel for you.
That's the worst.
These usually help.
Yeah, some people say
they're just a placebo. Who knows?
Oh! Here we go!
Cod liver oil.
Attracts birds like honey,
but smells like fried cat puke.
- Sorry, shouldn't have said "puke."
- Won't bother me.
Lost my sense of smell in
a chem lab explosion years ago.
That's lucky. Now, you want to be careful
with those binocs.
'Cause once you lose sight of that horizon,
you can get lost.
And then you're done for,
'cause all you feel is
the pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing. Pitching and tossing.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Hey, anybody up for a little fish-head sushi?
Mmm.
Pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing.
Pitching and tossing.
Whoa!
You guys got a rag or something?
There we go.
Maybe one with
not so much fish guts on it?
You okay?
It's not easy being green.
Who knows?
Maybe I never would have met Stu
if he hadn't gotten sick that day.
Sometimes friendship, like birding,
depends on luck. You blink and you miss it.
Hey, did you get a chance to see
that black-footed albatross?
I sure did. Thanks.
I'll leave you at peace.
No, actually, it helps to talk.
But I wouldn't want you to miss any birds.
Ah! We're headed back.
Besides, if there's anything important,
I'll know
'cause I can recognize them all by ear.
No.
- Oh, yeah.
- Really?
What's that?
That's Bostick imitating a herring gull.
- Splendid!
- Great!
Bostick. I have him to thank for this.
What do you mean?
He psyched me out. Made me seasick.
I think he thinks I'm doing a Big Year.
That is hardcore.
Are you doing a Big Year?
No. You?
Come on, let's speed it up!
The lad inside says there's a suitable hotel
on the 101, halfway to Mount Shasta.
Hotel? What, you think a snowy owl's
just gonna wait for us? Uh-uh.
Only reason why I invited you was so
we can drive straight through. Chop, chop!
I can get you 10% off the hotel in Savannah.
And I can put you on a direct flight,
but it's $100 more.
Better stay with the two layovers then.
And your dad wants to talk to you.
- No. No, Mom. Mom, no.
- Yeah. Oh!
He's grabbing the phone!
- Yeah. He's grabbing the phone!
- No, no, no. Don't hand it to him.
- Mom? Mom. I don't want to talk to him.
- Yeah!
Yeah!
Where is our world traveler today?
Oregon. Looking for seabirds.
Oregon.
I guess everybody needs a vacation.
It's not a vacation, Dad.
It's not work.
Unless somebody's paying you
to stay in hotels and look at birds.
- Dad!
- Okay, okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just kind of confused about
what a vacation is.
Okay, Dad, you know what? I gotta run.
Hey. Hey. Brad?
Great talking to you.
Dear God.
Probably could have used
another cup of coffee.
I think I broke my arm.
Shut up.
In birding terms,
what Bostick and Fuchs saw that day
was nothing short of a miracle.
Unbelievable.
This is the rarest bird I've ever seen.
It's like we were meant to crash here.
We were.
They had survived a near-fatal crash,
only to stumble upon
a great spotted woodpecker.
Do you realize how rare that is?
Statistically, in the Pacific Northwest,
they had a greater chance
of seeing a unicorn.
All of a sudden your arm
doesn't feel so broke, does it?
You could chop my arm off.
How's the conference?
How bad could it be?
It's Paris. How's it going there?
Glorious! Dawn just broke.
Tamaulipas crows'll be here any minute.
I'm happy for you.
But I wish you were here.
You're just jealous.
Mmm. Green.
What was that?
I'm renovating.
Again? I thought we just got done
redoing the whole house.
Uh-huh.
But not the upstairs and the kitchen.
Whoa, the kitchen?
I thought we had an agreement that
we were gonna wait on doing the kitchen.
I thought you agreed to wait
to do another Big Year.
Jess, I've told you,
the birds wait for no man.
And neither do I.
So I had to hire Frank Falucci,
seeing as you're so busy.
You hired my competitor?
That's gonna drag on forever.
No, 'cause I said to Frank
that I'd give him a bonus
if he was done by April.
A bonus?
All right, but, jeez, babe, please,
you've got to keep an eye on this.
You cannot trust contractors.
I'm well aware, honey.
Okay, so is it old man Frank
in charge of the job,
or is it his kind of good-looking son
who's doing it?
He's not that good-looking.
Where are you, anyway?
I'm in Wyoming. I got to bag a sage grouse.
- Is it beautiful there?
- No.
It's hot and dusty. It's a real dump.
Ketchup potato chip?
Ketchup potato chip?
- Ketchup potato chip?
- No, thank you.
You want a ketchup potato chip?
No?
This is what happens to retirees, Stu.
They lose their minds.
Hey, look, everybody! Vultures!
You have to handle
the negotiations yourselves.
I told you, I'm done.
The company is your baby, sir,
and it's in trouble.
Yeah, and your baby's
wandered into the street.
- And there are cars coming.
- Your baby needs you, Stu.
Save your baby!
You guys are pathetic.
- Two days. Two.
- That's all we're asking.
- Just till the deal's closed.
- And you'll never hear from us again.
Two days. Then I'm done.
- You got it.
- Two days in New York
- and then you migrate.
- Migrate!
See, you're not the only one
with a sense of humor.
Yes, I am.
Falucci.
Long time no see, Bostick.
You remember my kid Frank Jr.
It's a beautiful place you got here, sir.
Yeah, it was.
All right, Falucci, I'm gonna be going over
your time sheets like a hawk,
so you might want to
ease up on the snack breaks.
Your wife wasn't exaggerating.
Everything with you is birds, Bostick!
Yeah, it is.
Jess?
Jess?
No. No! What the...
Jess?
- Hello, stranger. This is a rare sighting.
- Hi.
Yeah. What have you done to our house?
- Do you like it so far?
- So far?
Please don't tell me there's more to come!
This is crazy!
Are you trying to get my attention?
It worked.
Is that the point of all this?
I don't know. I don't know, Kenny.
What is the point?
I'm surprised to still see
this room standing,
that you didn't take
a sledgehammer to this.
I'm supposed to put
my life on hold for a year?
Like a pathetic golf widow?
You're not a golf widow.
You can't compare golf to this.
Golf's just like a hobby.
And the birding is what exactly?
I don't know, it's like a calling.
This is like my calling.
Like Gandhi?
No, come on.
I'm not comparing myself to Gandhi, okay?
That's ridiculous. Okay?
It's more like I'm Mozart, I guess.
Okay, fine. You got a calling.
I got a calling, too.
- It's known as a baby.
- Yeah.
I know. I like to think that that's like
another one of my callings, too.
And you're gonna have to contribute,
you realize, eventually.
- I realize.
- In person.
Yes. In person.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Really? 'Cause I ain't so sure, Wolfgang.
Maybe I can convince you.
I didn't mean now.
Come on. What's the matter with now?
'Cause we have a house full of men.
Just pretend they're not there.
Okay, pretend that we don't care
that they're there.
I'm pretending.
...throughout much of the Southwest,
spreading all the way into
the Pacific Northwest.
Now, for those of you in the Southeast,
Texas will be experiencing
high winds this morning,
as this storm moves very quickly south
into the Gulf of Mexico.
If you're planning to be
anywhere in the Gulf today,
better batten down the hatches.
We are talking about a storm
that may last for 72 hours.
Look at these waves, these winds,
- and strong storms.
- Fallout.
- We are talking hurricane-force winds.
- Kenny.
I know this is bad. I know this makes me
look like a world-class asshole,
- but, babe, I gotta go.
- Kenny! Kenny!
Kenny!
I'll call you!
Bill? Don't say no. I'm going to Texas.
I'm getting on a plane right now.
Texas? You just got back.
Bill! There is going to be
major fallout in a few hours.
- Nuclear fallout?
- Bird fallout.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about a major storm
hitting the Gulf of Mexico
in the middle of migration season.
I'm talking about headwinds
and downpours
and a hundred thousand birds
literally dropping from the sky!
I'll put it down as a sick day.
- Stu.
- Hey.
- Where you going?
- Texas.
Texas? Now? What about Mclntire?
How do we explain this?
Act of God.
Act of God? No! That's not gonna work!
Stop this car! Stop this car!
Those damn birds!
Stu arrived on the outskirts of Houston
feeling liberated after skipping out on
his meeting in New York.
I really believe I can win this thing.
Bostick, not surprisingly,
was supremely confident.
Yes! Yes!
I really think I've got this thing locked up.
And I got to admit, I was feeling
that luck was on my side for a change.
I'm starting to think I have a chance.
I had done the math.
I knew what spring fallout meant.
A world record was within my grasp.
Whoa!
Unbelievable.
Oh, my God.
Faced with that headwind,
they have to come down
at the first land they see,
and that's right here.
One thing's for sure,
today's happening is strictly
for the birds. Gretchen.
Come on, guys, get... Keep it moving!
Come on, we got a lot of birds to see.
Bloody ass. Only Americans can
turn birding into a competition!
That's right.
You don't want to miss this one!
What?
- Brad!
- Stu!
I knew you'd be here. I was looking for you.
- Me, too.
- This is incredible, isn't it?
I know. Where do we even start?
There's the best birder in the world.
Maybe we should...
Follow him.
Prothonotary warbler.
Gotcha.
Oh! Blue grosbeak.
It's a buffet.
So I play what the kids wanna hear
While I spange on Broadway
Shine, let it shine
Even if it burns your eyes
This light of mine is mine
And I'm gonna let it shine...
Ever get the feeling you're being followed?
- Hello, master.
- How you doing, Stu?
Still filling those weekends, I see.
Unless you and your son here
are doing a Big Year.
Oh! Kenny Bostick,
this is my friend Brad Harris.
Who's also not doing a Big Year.
That's funny how
nobody's doing a Big Year.
Yeah. With all this fallout and El Nio.
Yeah, I know, you'd think
the conditions are just set up perfect
for someone to have a real shot at
breaking my record.
- Not that record.
- Pink-footed goose!
Pink-footed goose,
other end of the boardwalk.
- What the hell's that doing here?
- Be careful!
Hey, put her down!
Hey, hey, please, let the explorers through!
- Of course.
- Let's go, ladies. Jeesh.
After you, kids.
Get those badges.
Chop, chop, chop, chop!
Step it up! Stepping lively!
Move it along!
Thank you.
She took off. Headed north.
Probably be in Iceland by Friday.
Boy, she was a beaut, too!
Hey, is that a Calliope?
Nah.
Sorry to disappoint you boys again.
Good evening. Tonight's special is quail.
I highly recommend it.
- I couldn't.
- Yeah, not tonight.
I'll have the halibut.
And a bottle of this Montrachet.
Of course.
And I will have the soup. Thank you.
Really? After being outside all day
in the wind and rain?
Kind of a light eater.
And the truth is
the prices here are
a little steeper than I'm used to.
- Brad, I invited you to dinner.
- I know, but...
No, it's my pleasure.
Look, when I'm birding,
I don't fly first class or hire guides.
It's too much like corked bats
and steroids to me.
But tonight we're celebrating.
We saw 136 species!
Brad, 136!
Here's to them.
And to the one who got away.
Pink-footed goose.
The Montrachet.
Good. And my friend would like to
see the menu again, please.
Of course.
Cool.
That shrimp scampi was calling my name,
if you must know.
- That's a little too much.
- Okay.
By the end of the meal,
I felt like I'd known Stu for years.
It was rare to meet a birder
as obsessed as I was.
And even rarer to meet one
who could pay for dinner.
I mean, I'm 36.
I'm divorced.
I have a job I hate.
I just want to do something big, you know?
Make my mark.
So what are you gonna do?
My dad doesn't get it.
He's had the same boring job for 40 years.
"That's what people do," he says.
He's right.
Most people just stay on the beaten path,
then one day,
they wake up and realize they didn't do
everything they wanted to do.
Look at me. I was so afraid to retire,
I had to do it twice
before I finally got out here.
Why'd you wait so long?
'Cause I'm an idiot.
Okay, I gotta tell you.
I'm doing a Big Year.
Wow.
I know.
I don't know
what made me blurt it out like that.
Confidence? Innocence? Alcohol?
It just never occurred to me
that Stu might be doing his own Big Year.
Don't tell anybody, okay?
I guess I just assumed he'd be honest.
I guess I just assumed
honor and decency would prevail.
I guess I just assumed we were friends.
Mum's the word.
- We won't have to eat for a week.
- I'm hurting.
Great dinner.
Good luck.
Thanks again.
Hey, it's me,
Mozart.
The fallout's over and now I'm calling
to deal with the fallout from the fallout.
Look, babe, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make it up to you, you'll see.
I'm going to...
Where are you, anyway? It's late there.
- I hope you're okay, babe.
- Oh! Where am I?
I'm shooting hormones into my butt
so I can have your baby, Kenny.
Okay, I'm going to hit the sack here,
but I will try you in the morning,
and I'm gonna be launching a new thing
called Operation Sweep Her Off Her Feet.
So, you might want to get ready,
'cause it's gonna be pretty spectacular.
Okay? All right. Talk to you tomorrow.
Pomarine jaeger, nine o'clock!
Brad.
- Brad!
- No.
- Oh! Sorry.
- Sorry.
"Met a dapper white-haired guy
who was really seasick
"on a pelagic near Coos Bay.
"Got a peek at his list.
"Four hundred and ninety-seven species
as of May 8.
"He's definitely doing a Big Year.
"If he doesn't barf himself to death."
I still feel like a heel.
Feel like I led him on.
But I'm afraid
if he knew about my Big Year,
Bostick'd get it out of him eventually.
And why is it so important to
keep this secret from Bostick?
Less competition he thinks he has,
the more he's likely to throttle back,
not try so hard.
Not grind for the extra birds.
Maybe I could sneak past him.
Do whatever it takes
to set that record, honey.
You know how much it means to me.
I miss you, doll.
What are you doing this weekend?
I could get us a room in Saint Paul,
not far from the Sax Zim Bog.
Really! Not far from the bog.
Wow, you do know how to woo a girl.
Ah! There's my friend Jim calling me.
Uh-oh.
I love you.
- Spot something rare for me.
- You know I will.
Hey, Jim.
Yeah, listen, talks broke down.
Deal was dead by 10:00. Over.
Total acrimony. On the way out the door,
we agreed to a do-or-die session, May 14th,
here in New York in our office.
I can't. Impossible.
- I'm flying to Attu on the 14th.
- To where?
Attu, Alaska. And I can't miss the flight.
There's not another one for a week.
Stu, you're not involved, the deal dies.
Look, you gave these people their jobs.
If you don't do something,
they're gonna lose them!
And that means a hell of a lot more
than some birds on Attu.
Attu. The westernmost island
of the Aleutian chain.
So far west, it's closer to Tokyo
than to Anchorage.
There are no hotels, no phones,
no restaurants, no toilets.
Not the kind that flush, anyway.
But for birders, Attu was paradise.
Nobody could hope to win a Big Year
without going to Attu in May.
Mom's Taxi Service! I'm sorry I'm late.
You're gonna be a little chilly in Alaska.
I'm not going.
Stop packing. I'm serious! Mom!
Are you upset because
you think you can't win,
- or because he lied to you?
- Both. And what about Bostick?
Who?
Kenny Bostick, the best birder in the world.
I think he might be doing another Big Year.
What chance do I have?
Oh, Brad, you have 486 birds.
You're on a record pace.
You can't quit now!
- Mom, my credit card is maxed out.
- No. No. No. No.
Even if I go to Alaska,
there's no way I can complete the year!
This has a $6,000 limit.
Bring me back some Alaska pictures.
- No, Mom, I can't.
- No, no, no, no.
Get dressed. Your plane leaves in an hour.
Don't piss off your travel agent.
I had no idea this car could go this fast.
If you miss this plane,
there's not another one for a week.
So, we gotta do it.
Mom, Mom, Mom!
- Welcome back, Mr. Preissler!
- Thank you.
Thanks for being here, Stu.
I can give you four hours, that's it.
Then I've got to catch my flight to Alaska.
- No problem.
- How was your trip?
- Louisiana was spectacular.
- Lot of birds in the bayou.
And saw a loggerhead shrike
from my hotel room in Natchitoches.
Adorable!
It imitates the songs of other birds
to lure them in close.
Uh-huh.
Then it impales them on thorns,
breaks their necks and eats them.
Yeesh!
We'll assume the cost of
retrofitting the plants,
but that still leaves
the non-compete clause.
Barry says you have an issue with it.
No. It's not a big issue,
but I'm not like you, Stu.
I'm not ready to hang it all up so I can
spend the rest of my life bird watching.
It's called "birding," Rick.
And there's no wiggle room here.
This is a deal-breaker for us.
Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait.
Four hours ago, you said
that everything was negotiable.
What, was this just so you could
lure me in to finish me off?
The shrike.
It's 11:15.
I should have left for the airport
All right. Stu!
Just wait, one second, please. One second.
Let me talk to my people.
Just give me five minutes. Okay?
Okay, Stu, 48 months and you got a deal.
They'll shake.
The Lexington side!
Okay, I'm coming out now!
Are you there?
Come up! Pull up in front!
There's taxis there. Flash your lights!
Go! Go, go, go, go!
Kenny? This is Karen, my blushing bride.
Attu's gonna be our honeymoon.
Wow!
Okay, now, Karen,
you're not a birder, are you?
No. No, I'm just along for the ride.
Honeymoon on Attu.
That should be unforgettable.
Yeah.
Attu? What were you thinking?
Come on, let's go!
What are we waiting for?
The charter's sold out,
but two guys haven't shown up yet.
I'm here!
Okay, sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Okay.
Nice of you to join us.
You're Stu's little sidekick, aren't you?
Oh, yeah, me and Stu are like that.
I know all his secrets.
Yeah? Cookie?
Yeah, thanks.
All his secrets.
Apparently, he's doing a Big Year. Oops.
He probably wouldn't
want you to know that.
What's his total?
By now? Over 500.
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Gives him a shot at your record, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, that...
He's a pretty spry old guy.
He's definitely got a shot at my record.
Of course, he probably would have had
a better shot if he had made this flight.
Oh, God.
- What's your total?
- Hmm?
What's your total?
- I'm not doing a Big Year.
- No?
Mmm-mmm.
Another cookie?
No, one's my limit.
The pilot says this is a Siberian storm?
Attu Island, meet El Nio.
Makes for great birding.
Oh, my God!
Nice job up there in the cockpit!
Way to go, guys! Attu!
Bostick!
Welcome, birders, to Attu.
Welcome, birders, to Attu.
Let's take this spot. Go right in here.
In here.
Okay. Yeah.
I'll take the top.
Yeah.
Welcome to the honeymoon suite!
Unforgettable.
Wally, how are you?
Hey, Bostick.
That old Attu air.
How you doing, Dolores?
Mrs. Suzuki.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Here they are.
Now I'm in Attu.
Prime real estate.
Okay.
I've only been here a week,
and my life list is already at 578.
- You want to see?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- I'd love to.
- That is the American...
- That's so beautiful.
Yeah, golden plover.
You guys have the same eyes.
Rustic bunting.
- Excuse me.
- Massacre Valley.
Rustic bunting.
- Coming through.
- Hurry!
- Massacre Valley, come on!
- Let's go, let's go!
- Just follow us!
- The south side trail.
Kenny! Rustic bunting!
Really? I'll catch up to you.
Go back!
Go back, you guys!
The bunting flew back toward Casco Cove!
The other way!
The rustic bunting is up there!
Bunting's gone up the hill!
Turn around, turn around!
The bunting flew down the hill! Go back!
- What?
- Go back!
No, the bunting flew down the hill!
Gladys, we finally found the bunting.
It's at Murder Point.
Bostick had adopted a technique
perfected by devious birds like the skua.
He let others do the grunt work,
then seized the spoils.
There's an eyebrowed thrush back here.
- There it is!
- Where?
Oh, hey, everybody.
Bostick.
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Jason, just so our viewers
can take precautions here,
how severe is this storm going to be?
In one word, it's going to be intense.
We're expecting a tremendous
amount of snow.
It'll be tough out there for man or beast.
But you were telling me a moment ago,
there are at least a few people
happy about this Siberian storm, right?
I can tell you that the birders
over at Attu are going to love it.
So far they've spotted such rarities
as a pin-tailed snipe
and an Oriental greenfinch.
Snipe and greenfinch.
And these are birds that nobody's seen
in North America for how long?
- Ten, 20, 30 years?
- Thirty years at least. If ever.
And I'm happy if I can spot a pigeon.
Hey, Brad!
I made it!
Boy, oh, boy,
are you a sore for sight eyes, huh?
I was just headed out.
I wanted to tell you,
but Bostick has a way of getting
information out of people.
Yeah, I guess he's not the only one.
I didn't get it out of you, Brad.
You offered it to me.
Oh, come on! You bought me drinks
and got what you wanted!
That's not why I asked you to dinner.
I told you about my wife.
My fear of retirement.
You think I'd discuss that stuff
with just anybody?
Nope. Just the people you think
are doing a Big Year.
Brad, listen.
You were ready to talk about your Big Year.
I wasn't ready to talk about mine.
That's all it was.
Have you checked your messages lately?
Up here?
What, are you kidding me?
I left a full confession five days ago.
I felt bad.
Really?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I guess I have a confession to make, too.
You told Bostick, didn't you?
Yes. Sorry.
Oh, well.
Is it true this was the greatest week
in Attu history?
Yeah. But the birds are still here.
Unless there's a freak blizzard,
you'll still get to see them.
Sorry about the freak blizzard.
I shouldn't have said there's gonna be
a freak blizzard.
That jinxed it.
No, that's the thing.
We couldn't figure it out.
What's a bird who only eats mosquitoes
doing in Wisconsin in February?
Then we found it. On the porch.
Bug zapper, with a 12-month supply
of freeze-dried mosquitoes in its tray.
That little sucker was in heaven.
How about the most tropical bird
you've seen this year?
Western spindalis, Key West.
Hardest to find.
Rufous-capped warbler.
Perched on a toilet brush
in a cabin near El Paso.
I almost wish I didn't see that one.
One that got away.
That's easy. Snowy owl.
I just can't seem to nail that sucker!
I've been out six times this year
and I still haven't gotten one.
Six trips to see one bird.
That sounds an awful lot
like a man doing a Big Year.
It takes one to know one, right, Stu?
Cheers. Of course, then again,
maybe I just love to bird.
- What do you got?
- Bald eagle.
Big deal! We all got one five months ago.
It's got a lady friend.
Of all courtship rituals
in the animal kingdom,
the most spectacular by far
is that of the bald eagle.
The male and female climb
to dizzying heights
and then...
...join in free fall,
plummeting toward earth,
locked in each other's embrace,
separating only at the very last moment.
God, I miss Edith.
Yeah, I kind of miss Jess.
Oh, hey.
Oh! It's the man with the golden ear.
- Yep.
- I thought you were just lucky last time,
but word has it around the barracks
that you're something of an idiot savant.
Without the "idiot" part.
No, no, that's... I'm an idiot.
It's true.
Okay, let me see if I can try to stump you.
Okay.
Greater roadrunner.
Yep. Not bad. Okay.
Come on. Easy. Common raven.
Let's take it to the next level.
Okay. All right, you asked for it.
Oh, yeah. Audubon oriole?
Oh, yeah, wow.
That, in my opinion,
is the most beautiful girl...
Bird in the world.
Is it true that you have
a life list of 578 birds?
Yeah! Yeah.
My mom thinks that my obsession
with birds is ruining my life.
Tell me about it.
My dad even blames the birds
for my wife leaving.
But what does he know?
I mean, that's not why.
We had other issues. But...
- It was the birds.
- It was the birds.
Hey. How did it go?
It kind of bogged down
when I got to talking about my ex-wife.
I know, I know!
That's about the top of the list
of the fifty worst pickup lines.
Yeah. "Hi. I'm divorced.
"Didn't go so good,
but I got a good feeling about this one."
Oh, boy.
Ew! What is that smell?
The good doctors are whipping up
a homemade batch of bird bait.
We've been fermenting it out back
since we got here.
It's like crack cocaine to the gulls.
What are you doing? This is my scarf!
Oh, sorry.
This scarf is from Bergdorf's!
This scarf cost $250!
- I wouldn't go out there if I...
- Shut up!
Look at my scarf!
This should be fun.
Oh, no! No!
- Get away!
- Honey? Throw it away!
- Go...
- Get away!
Don't take my scarf! Give it back to me!
Hitchcockian.
What's he doing up there?
- How many do you think he has?
- I wouldn't guess.
But you know what?
That's not the point.
We can't take our eyes off the ball.
You think he lets anything slow him down?
I made work my priority
and I missed the boat.
You got your feelings hurt
and you almost quit!
No more, Brad.
Think like him, act like him.
One of us has to beat this SOB!
Yeah. Yeah!
And here's what you do about Ellie!
I don't think I'm ready.
Tell her you want
to exchange phone numbers
in case there's a rare sighting this summer.
I said I'm not ready!
But that is a really good idea.
Thanks.
Good luck, Stu.
Whoo!
In the next eight weeks,
I traveled 14,000 miles across 21 states
and saw 56 new birds.
I also ate about 300 bags of pretzels
and maxed out seven credit cards,
including my mom 's,
but man, that was an awesome summer.
So come, fly away
Through the clouds into the sun
Far away from everyone
Come, fly away
When we get above the rain
They are all sunny days
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird...
Hello. Hi.
You know that pink-footed goose
that you missed in Texas?
Guess what just showed up here in Boston.
Really?
You know how you look forward
to something happening for a long time
and then suddenly it is happening
and now you're not sure
if you're even ready for it to happen?
That's how I felt about seeing... that goose.
Ellie!
- Hey.
- Hi.
How's your Big Year going?
I don't want to jinx it,
but it's going very, very good.
I saw a flamingo in the Everglades
last week.
Wow!
Got about a thousand mosquito bites,
but it was worth it.
Doing a Big Year and working full-time?
I really admire that, Brad.
You know what I admire?
That you're not doing a Big Year.
- Why?
- Because it's pure!
It's all about the love of birds for you.
How do you know I'm not doing a Big Year?
You left it there? You're brave.
But Darren's driving.
- Nice. Darren?
- My boyfriend?
- Ah!
- Darren, this is Brad.
Welcome to Boston, bro.
So, Ellie tells me you guys are going
to look for a... What is it, a pink goose?
- No, it's not...
- Nope. Not a pink goose.
No such thing as a pink goose.
It's a pink-footed goose, so...
If I came to see a pink goose,
then I guess this whole trip
would have been a big waste of time,
wouldn't it?
"Pink goose."
Maybe there's a purple swan out there, too.
Let's go!
You want to hear the punch line?
The pink-footed goose
had already skipped town.
We'll get it one day.
Brad, Edith had a boyfriend
when I first met her.
You never know. The final chapter
might not be written with Ellie.
Yeah.
Thanks, Stu.
The week that Stu missed on Attu
was costly. He'd fallen way behind.
But back on the mainland,
there was news that changed everything.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Come see.
- Can't wait.
- Wow. He's adorable.
- Hey, Grandpa.
What's his name?
No one told you?
All I heard was you hadn't decided yet.
Name's Stuart, Dad. Call him Stu.
Really?
Well, that's something.
- You want to hold him?
- Yeah.
Hey.
- Hold his head.
- I remember.
Stu! Stu!
How you doing? How you doing?
Hey, you don't want to look at big face?
Hey, buddy.
Hey. Hey, buddy.
Ain't he cute? So cute.
Spotted something rare for you.
Hey, buddy. You want to go birding?
Huh? Want to do the rumba?
Taxi!
JFK.
Bye.
In the days that followed,
it proved harder than
Stu could have guessed
to resume his Big Year.
Everywhere he went, in Des Moines
and Yosemite, and Galveston,
he began to see hints of his own mortality.
Even in a blade of grass.
He missed his wife.
He missed his family.
Was his migrating instinct waning at last?
Was his Big Year really just a big mistake?
Blue-footed booby! Orcas Island, right?
- Hey.
- How many?
You might want to sit down.
Edith gave me a pep talk last month.
You?
You're not bad at the pep talks yourself.
- Me and my big mouth.
- How many?
Wow! Welcome to the 700 Club, kid.
That is rarefied air.
Of course, it's this old-timer
we got to worry about.
- What's your number?
- You don't want to know.
- I do. Scare me.
- How about 730?
Really?
Wow, and here I thought I was
the bomb at 728.
Hey, hang in there. You still got a shot.
Yeah. Thank you for that reassuring
pat on my shoulder.
All right, have a good day.
I just wanted to wipe that cocky grin
off his face.
You did that. He looked like
he'd just read his own obituary.
And we got his total.
Okay, yes, okay! Okay!
But I think you just woke a sleeping dog.
Yeah, yeah, we're getting on the boat.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Did our friend just say where he was going?
He wanted directions
to the Skagit Wildlife Area.
Blue-footed booby's on the move.
This is me.
No bird.
And no Bostick.
NARBA says the blue-footed booby's
still on the island.
And we just missed the last ferry.
You know the beauty of it?
He never lied to us.
He never even spoke to us.
The man's a genius.
He's a machine. He's a birding machine.
Unless he was bluffing, too.
Or cheating.
Maybe he just wants it more.
Oh, screw that!
I've spent 10 months of my life on this,
and every penny I have.
There is no way he wants it more than me!
Remember when you said
one of us has to beat this SOB?
Maybe we should...
Team up.
Team up!
I can't look at the rocket launch
The trophy wives of the astronauts
And I won't listen to their words
'Cause I like
Birds
I don't care for walking downtown
Crazy autocar gonna mow me down
Look at all the people like cows in a herd
Well, I like
Birds
I'm exhausted. I couldn't take another step.
Sandhill crane!
Oh, shit!
You took him up?
Okay. Thanks, Gil.
Bostick saw snowcocks.
I can't afford snowcocks!
Snowcocks are on me.
- I can't even afford this beer.
- That's on me, too.
You ever been in a helicopter?
Ah!
So, how long until we see some
Himalayan snowcocks?
You never know. It's a matter of luck.
Do we have to fly
this close to the mountains?
Close? This isn't close.
You want to see close?
No. No, no, no, no, no!
Whoa!
All right, there, there, there!
Himalayan just cleared the ridge!
You see it?
- No!
- No!
Oh, man! Come on, look!
Where are you? Come on.
There! There, there!
There, you see it? Right there!
Ride 'em, cowboy!
- Uh-oh!
- Ah!
Oh, God!
We're good. We're good.
Can we go home now?
Don't you want to get it on film?
- Hell, no!
- No! No! Home!
Hey!
- We're alive!
- We saw snowcocks!
Hey!
We're on a roll! Nothing can stop us now!
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird...
Hey, Mom.
What?
It's all right. It's okay.
So how many of these damn tests
are these clowns
gonna put me through before
they let me get the hell out of here?
Dad, you had a heart attack.
I had a minor heart attack, all right?
In my old man's day, it was not something
you went to the hospital for.
Let me show you some shots from the trip.
My little hobby. You should take a look.
What do we got here? There we go.
Colima warbler. That's Texas.
Had to hike eight miles to see that guy.
That's a spruce grouse.
Maine. That was butt-cold.
Another spruce grouse.
There's my favorite bird.
American golden plover.
That's your favorite bird. It's gray.
Yes, it is. Well, gray-brown.
Yeah, a lot of people wouldn't
think twice to look at this bird,
but this golden plover's one of
the greatest travelers in the world.
It's true. It breeds in the Arctic tundra,
then flies all the way down to Argentina
and back, all in one year.
It shows up on beaches of Guatemala.
On farms in Illinois.
Nine inches long, but he travels hundreds
of thousands of miles in his lifetime.
No passports, no security. Total freedom.
Yeah. This gray bird has seen
some amazing things.
And that's the bird
that everybody underestimates.
Yes!
Hey. Did you see a flammer?
I heard it. He just answered my call.
- Which direction?
- It doesn't matter.
We both heard it. That counts.
How do I know what I heard?
Maybe I just heard you.
Maybe I heard some SOB answering you.
I'm claiming it.
I mean, you heard what I heard.
You should claim it, too.
- Just tell me which direction, pal.
- It's over here.
Hey, hold up. I'll go with you.
Hey, Stu. Yeah, walk with me.
That was some trick you pulled on us
at Anacortes Ferry.
What trick?
Bostick, you're a hard guy to figure.
Seems like you'd do anything to win,
but that's not true, is it?
I work the angles just like everyone does.
Maybe even better.
Yeah, but when it comes
to the honor system,
you're as pure as snow.
Everyone in the clubhouse knows
which guy cheats on his score.
He's kind of pathetic.
Who'd want to be that asshole, right?
Bostick, this is strange to say,
but I actually kind of like you.
I kind of like you, too, Stu.
Yeah, you seem like a...
You seem like a genuinely nice guy.
Course, wasn't that how you got to Brad?
- I didn't get to...
- Yell if you find a flammer.
Bostick!
I see that you're going to come back
at least a couple more times.
So just fill out those forms
and we'll see you again.
Okay, great. Thank you.
Okay. We're all set.
But we do need your husband here
very soon:
He'll be here.
Sorry. Am I hurting you?
Oh, not at all.
Your husband does know today's the day?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- How you doing?
- Good. How are you, sir?
Tired.
The doctor's ready.
Should we maybe call your husband?
Can we give him five more minutes?
Okay.
Bostick!
- Yeah.
- Bostick, guess what I'm looking at.
Snowy owl.
Catch the 4:30 to Buffalo
and you will obliterate your own record.
Hold on. Kenny, where are you?
Jess, you cannot believe how hard
I have tried today to get there.
It's just been a complete nightmare
here in Chicago.
Hold on.
They've got like all the planes grounded,
or something, I don't know why...
Here you go, Mrs. B.
Sounds like you could use a cup of tea.
- Thanks, Frankie.
- Yeah.
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird...
Dad, can you grab that for me?
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird...
Yeah, yeah, hello.
Oh, hi. I'm trying to reach Brad?
Brad's upstairs. He's setting up
an oxygen tank for some old man.
Oh, can you tell him his friend Stu called?
I got word of a great gray owl in
the George Washington National Forest,
and since that's
in your neck of the woods...
Yeah, Brad's told me a lot about you, Stu.
Same here.
Quite a son you have there.
Between you and me, he might break
the world's record this year.
World record? Is that right?
Here, get your coat on.
Where are we going?
Some kind of an owl out in the woods.
I want to get a look at him.
An owl?
I always thought it was
kind of weird with birds.
The male is way colorful and fancy,
and the female is just plain.
The opposite from us, you know?
I don't know, Dad. You should check out
the family photo album sometime.
Those jackets you were sporting back
in the '70s were...
- My sport jacket?
- ...pretty colorful.
- Paisley polyester, huh?
- Yeah.
How do you think
I got your mother, eh? Huh?
Uh... I don't think so.
Jess?
Frankie? Is that you?
No.
- It's not what you think.
- What do I think?
You know what?
The Faluccis are taking me to a Jets game.
They wanted to get an early start.
And when I heard you come in,
I figured I'd overslept,
'cause it's not like you've been here
any morning in the last 10 months.
So you haven't slept with him.
No. I'd never do that to you.
You know, fallen in love or something?
No.
'Cause, believe it or not,
I'm still in love with you.
But I can't be married to you anymore.
- Jess...
- I'm gonna call Frank
and tell him that the game's a no go.
You okay?
I'm fine. Go ahead. Go ahead.
Brad!
All right, I want you to get that bird
before it gets dark.
- We will.
- No. No, no.
You go on without me.
- But...
- I'll be fine, okay?
Fine. Give me the tank.
Come on, come on. Give me the tank.
All right.
- Go get that bird. Go ahead. Go!
- All right.
Go on!
Look, you have every reason to be
really upset about the baby thing.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- That was terrible.
I know. I think in the heat of the moment,
I just plain choked,
but you got to give someone
a second chance.
- No.
- How can you say you love me and not
- be willing to try...
- Because, Kenny, it's a good thing
that I wasn't married to Gandhi or Mozart.
'Cause I just need to be with a guy
who'd rather be with me
- than with anything else.
- Jess, you are. Really.
Sure. As long as there's no
egret or owl or pelican or...
No, come on! Give me a break, Jess!
- Hold it! That's this year, then it's over!
- It's every year, Kenny.
- No!
- I know you.
I know that right now you're in pain,
trying to think how you're gonna get
on your flight to Phoenix
- without looking like a jerk.
- No. No. No, I'm really in pain
because I really love you,
and I'm scrambling to make this work.
Enough not to go to Arizona?
I have to go to Arizona.
Why? Why?
Because right now
there's a guy out there named Stu
with 730-plus birds,
and if I don't get out there,
people could say
he's the greatest birder of all time.
And he's not.
This is what I'm great at!
This is what I'll be remembered for!
No one remembers who comes in second.
I know. I know.
What are you doing?
You idiot, how could you just
leave him there?
God dang it!
Dad?
Dad!
Dad, are you okay?
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird...
- Hello?
- Hey, Brad!
It's me. There's a Pacific storm coming in.
A big one!
This could turn it around for us, buddy.
Huh? What?
Is today...
I don't believe it!
How could you not know?
Didn't your wife mention
it was Thanksgiving?
She doesn't like to rub it in
when the holidays roll around
and she knows I'm in a motel somewhere,
sitting around in my boxers.
Same thing happened last Fourth of July.
Okay, Fourth of July is one thing,
but Thanksgiving!
Make the next left.
Hey, Mr. Computer Genius Guy,
don't you have a calendar on that thing?
Didn't your folks tell you?
All my dad talks about is that damn owl.
Remind me to come over
to your house on Christmas.
We're trying to catch Bostick,
and you're our only...
Were you gonna say "hope"?
That pig's doing another Big Year?
It was epic! Four Siberian species,
two from China and one from Japan!
All right, so what's your total?
- 734, Dad.
- Whoo!
A new record. I'm gonna kick his ass.
"Bostick didn't have his usual cocky air.
"He was intense, tired, all-business.
"Frankly, he looked like a guy
who was trying to catch up."
So what do you think?
He's heard it through the grapevine
that Annie took us out on Thanksgiving.
Annie made sure of that.
So, yeah, maybe he's scared.
On the other hand, maybe he's shooting
for some ridiculous number
and won't slow down till he gets there.
What's a ridiculous number?
I mean, the guy is crazy!
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
- Here. Try fork.
- Okay, thank you. Thanks.
Hey. You want to...
You guys want to come sit with me?
I feel bad you're working on Christmas.
Come on.
Why you here? Why not with family?
Snowy owl, Chan.
Been up and down the Sax Zim Bog
looking for him.
It's the only breeding bird in
North America that's eluded me.
I'd like to see the birds of China one day.
- You know anything about that?
- Peking duck.
- Merry Christmas Eve.
- Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Hey, Barry. Happy holidays.
You and Jenny in Saint Barths
again this year?
Not exactly.
We all had to cancel our vacations.
Looks like we've been out-shriked.
- What?
- We're being bought by 3M.
Yeah, here's the thing, Stu.
You may want to sit down for this.
Looks like Simon Ross
is stepping down as CEO
and they want you to take over.
Stu, you started this company
in your garage.
You made it something big.
Now you have the chance to run
one of the biggest companies in the world.
It's what they call a lot of money.
But more than that, obviously,
your Big Year, it's coming to a close.
Do you really want to face the abyss?
The answer is yes, Jim.
Yes, you'll do it?
Yes, I want to face the abyss.
- No! Stu. Stu.
- No, no, no, no! Don't say that!
Don't say something you don't mean.
But I do mean it.
I really do.
I think we need to come there
and show you this offer face-to-face.
Absolutely!
Can't do it, guys.
Got to help a friend find a bird.
Those freaking birds!
Hey, when are you gonna tell me
what we're chasing?
We're going on a wild goose chase!
A goose with little pink feet.
You're crazy! Have you noticed the snow?
- That goose is in Scotland by now.
- You would think so, wouldn't you?
But my friend Jeff Shaw swears
he saw it up here yesterday.
Just out of curiosity,
what's Jeff Shaw smoking?
'Cause I'd like to get me some of that!
Wait! Wait! Did you hear that?
Pink-footed goose. I heard it!
Come on!
There. There.
Huh? Oh!
Looks like somebody's found a warm place
to spend the winter.
Wow.
- What does that give you?
- 741!
That, my friend, is a very Big Year.
Hey.
...five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
- Hey, look who's here, man!
- Oh, my God, Ray!
Hey, guys!
And never brought to mind
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word...
Hello?
- Whimbrel.
- Yep.
I just...
I just wanted to say happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you.
What are you doing?
Oh, watching TV by myself.
Darren and I broke up.
I am so sorry to hear that.
Did you just do a victory dance?
No. Maybe. Yes, I did. I did.
Well, not a victory dance
so much as a dance of celebration.
Have you seen the results?
They're in?
Okay. Did I win?
Bostick got 755 birds, Brad.
No!
Son of a bitch! I... That's...
That's shocking.
I know, it's not quite human.
But you are second! How amazing is that?
A full-time job and you're second?
And? You're third?
Fourth. What can I say?
I waited too long to do it.
No, you didn't. Don't say that.
Then you would have done it
some other year.
And really, we won.
What do you mean?
We won, Stu!
I don't know how else to put it.
I don't just mean I wouldn't have
come in second without you.
Although that's true.
I mean, I don't know, he got more birds,
but we got more everything.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Stu. Have I said thank you?
Hey, for what?
- Congrats.
- Take care, buddy.
Yep.
Looks like you'll be spending the weekend
with the second best birder in the world.
Bostick!
Five months later, the sooty shearwater
begins his migration all over again,
flying north to Hawaii.
Completely retired now, Stu spends
the summer hiking in the Rockies
with Little Stu, who seems to share
his grandfather's passion.
Hey, look at that.
That's a male goldfinch.
In a couple of months,
it's gonna turn all yellow.
To celebrate his victory,
Bostick goes to China.
Only he knows the price he's paid
to be the greatest birder in the world.
Me? I still go birding most weekends.
But the truth is, I don't pay
as much attention to the birds anymore.
There's a message in the skies
and in the streets
Opportunity, the American-y dream
It's in the radio
It's superstars
The arteries and veins that feed your heart
From the Dairy Queen
to the head of the parade
In a blink your life could change
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
Be yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
You come as Elvis Presley every Halloween
And dream of sing-alongs
the whole wide world will sing
Into the great unknown, Horatio
Desire and ambition fuel this heart
So take a breath and step into the light
Everything will be all right
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
All yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours someday
This could all be yours
All yours someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
Someday
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