Breakup Season (2024) Movie Script

1
[wind blowing]
["Sweetheart"
by Stephan Eicher playing]
I remember that long
long night
I didn't know where to go
But then you took me
by the hand
I didn't really understand
Oh, sweetheart, I love you
Oh, darling, yes, I do
Sweetheart, I love you
-[muted]
-Oh, darling, yes, I do
I believe in you
babe, in you
Just in you
I believe in you, babe
In you...
[laughing]
[gentle music]
[wind gently blowing]
[shakily breathing]
-Are you taking a picture?
-[Ben] Yeah! Wai-- wait,
uh, stay that way.
-Stay cold?
-[Ben] No! No, no. Just, like,
look where you were
just looking a second ago.
[chuckling] You can't
be serious, I'm too cold.
Okay. It's all right,
I think I got it.
-[Ben sighs]
Sorry for the wait.
-[Cassie sighs]
He should be here any second.
-Happy, boo?
-Happy, boo.
[gentle music]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[cell phone buzzing]
Is that a notification
that you just tagged me
in a picture?
-Yep.
-Ben! Did you post that?
-Yeah, it's a great shot.
And, and you in Oregon,
-[groans]
-that is an event.
-[engine rumbling]
Woo-hoo! [laughing] Hey-hey!
-Welcome home, city slicker. Oh!
-[Ben laughing] Hey! All right.
Hey, Leonard,
thank you for coming
all the way out here, man.
-Absolutely! Anytime, anyplace!
-[Cassie chuckles]
You need a ride, I'm your guy.
Hop in. The van is warm.
-[Ben] Oh, great!
-[indistinct chatter]
Little brother grew up
and he moved away
Little brother grew up
and he moved away
Little brother grew up
And he moved away...
[Cassie]
It's not just, like, I had
divorced parents, you know.
But it's that
I never get to settle.
You know, my stepmom spends
the entire day
before Christmas baking,
and she just loves it.
And I don't get to do anything
like that 'cause I'm just
being shuffled around
between my mom's side
and my dad's side.
-And--
-Well, now you get to settle.
-What have you
told them about me?
-I told them everything.
-They already love you.
-Oh!
Welcome,
welcome to Vlogmas Day...
[soft popping]
Twenty-two, you guys!
I am your host, Liz Russell.
What did I do this season?
I ice skated
with my very best friends
in the whole wide world.
I had, like,
a little mistletoe moment
at Capital Navidad,
with you-know-who.
I don't know about you guys,
but this time of year,
I'm always getting,
like, Christmas carols
stuck in my head.
[humming "Silent Night"]
This is my mama, Mia. She's
still finishing up the semester
with-- how many more papers
do you have left to grade?
Two. Can you please
take that somewhere else?
Two more papers left to grade!
Rock star status
right here, you guys.
Love this girl.
She's so hard-working.
And this is my father, Kirby.
Ooh! When have I ever
been called "father"? Father.
Be funny, Dad. Just go with it.
"It is here
that the thespian aliens
regarded this earth
with envious eyes
and made their plans,
called... [whispering] Rosebud?"
[chuckling]
I don't know what that is.
I thought you
were studying film.
Media, Dad.
Film was last semester,
and I've told you that
three times.
-Oh!
-And psychology as well.
My big brother, Ben,
is currently en route
with his new girlfriend,
Cassie, who is going
to be spending
all of Christmas break with us.
Finally! I am not gonna be
the only girl in this house.
[Mia]
Liz, you need to finish
the decorations you started.
The living room's a mess.
[distant indistinct chatter]
[grunting] All right.
-Welcome.
-[Mia] Ben!
-[laughs]
-Hey! Hey, we made it.
-[Mia] Oh!
-[Kirby] Hey!
Oh, Mom, Dad, this is Cassie.
-Oh! Hi, sweetheart. Hi.
-Hi!
-So very nice to meet you.
-Oh!
-The famous Cassie. [chuckles]
-Hi, Mr. Russell.
Oh, please, Kirby.
-Mr. Russell's for the cops.
-[Liz] Cassie!
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi!
-[soft laughter]
-Have you two met?
-Uh, no, not in person. But--
-[Cassie laughs]
But I love your
Intro to Psych videos.
-Yeah?
-[Cassie] Yeah.
I'm gonna do more after Vlogmas.
It's just-- it's been so crazy.
Liz, I need you
to finish the living room.
I've asked you twice now.
-Mom, they just got here.
-[Mia] Exactly.
Okay! Well, um, where do you
want us to put our stuff?
Oh, yes! Okay,
you're both staying upstairs.
It's a little cluttered,
so don't mind that. And, um,
well, we don't really have,
like, a dating sleepover
policy in place,
but it is a full house,
so just... be good. [chuckles]
All right, let's,
uh, get upstairs.
[door creaks open]
[footsteps]
All right. [sighs]
-Welcome.
-[chuckles] It's cute.
[sighs] Well,
-that was-- [chuckles]
-Oh, uh, yeah, they're--
they're clueless.
You were great. As usual.
All right, let's, uh--
Can I just be horizontal for,
like, five minutes?
Yeah. Uh,
did you sleep on the plane?
Could just be the altitude?
Okay. Well, you do you.
Don't be long.
[gentle music]
[sighs]
[upbeat jazz music playing]
-[Kirby humming]
-Could one of those firms
take you on as an intern?
An unpaid intern?
I can't do that.
It's such a catch-22. It--
In order to be an architect,
-you've to already have
a job as one, and--
-You know what?
-Something will come up,
it always does when you want it.
-[Kirby singing]
-Kirb! Can you--
-Wait for the guitar solo?
-Did you start the pasta?
-[Kirby] Liz was doing that.
-Liz!
-[Liz] Busy!
Sorry, honey, hold on to that.
Well, actually,
will you grate the cheese? Liz!
-That pasta is calling
your name!
-[clattering]
[Kirby]
"Hi, pasta here! Paging Liz!"
-[Liz] ...homework to do!
-Okay, you're gonna
have to finish it after.
What about that parachute book
I sent you? Did you read that?
Yes. It was written
so long ago, it wasn't helpful.
-Do we have bourbon
for the stake?
-Liquor cabinet.
What about the school?
Can the school get you leads?
-Yeah, I tried,
but it's different post-grad.
-Oh, shoot, basil.
Oh, honey, hold that thought!
[sighing]
[muffled chatter]
[gentle piano music]
-Nice piece, huh?
-Yeah.
[soft clinking]
So, where are we?
-Here. Yeah.
-Hmm.
People always forget
about the east side. [chuckles]
These are all
the railways circa 1904.
-Wow! So you can take
a train here.
-[chuckles]
I wish. The passenger routes
ended about 1982.
-You're from Chicago, right?
-Mm-hmm!
Have you taken
the Southwest Chief to,
uh, LA yet?
No, I haven't actually.
-Never? Oh!
-No.
That's one of the best trips
in the world. You must.
-All right. [chuckles]
-[Mia] Kirby!
Duty calls. Coming!
You give that guy one inch
and he'll talk to you
all day about railways.
Oh, no, I-- I love seeing
how people decorate their homes.
So, are you ready to learn about
Ben's deepest, darkest secrets?
-What?
-Secrets?
[chuckling] Oh, so,
when I first met
Evan's brothers,
-they had so much dirt on him.
-Who's Evan?
My boyfriend, Ben.
Did you not watch my--
Whatever. He is perfect. Mm.
So, what are Ben's secrets?
-Okay, hey, come on.
-Oh, so he's obsessed
-with architecture.
-Okay, yes, I'm aware of that.
Okay, but that's not
even the half of it.
[laughs] One year,
-for his yearbook picture...
-[groans]
-...he dressed up
as Frank Lloyd Wright!
-Jeez.
-What? You did? Oh!
-Yeah, well, I had the,
-the blueprints, the patterns,
and the necktie. It was--
-Oh, stop!
-You need to show me
this picture. Yes.
-No, wait. Hold on.
Stop acting so embarrassed.
It's kind of a humble brag.
-He loves it.
-[Mia distantly]
Liz, did you set the table?
That is Gordon's job!
[Mia]
We don't have time for that.
Okay, I can help.
She's nice.
-I'm sure Evan is
nice to meet too.
-He is!
-Why? Are they just not...?
-[Kirby] Well, time's changed,
things change.
-[Mia] Okay, do you have
all we need?
-[Ben] Oh, here.
-[indistinct chatter]
-Oh, Mom, this looks so good!
-Nobody's saying grace
or anything.
-[Ben] All right.
-[Kirby] We're good?
-[Ben] Smells good.
Hey. You Cassie?
-Hi, yes!
Um, you must be Gordon.
-Yeah. Pleasure.
-What's up, buds?
-Hey.
Okay. Welcome, everyone.
Thank you for making
the trip home.
And a special welcome to Cassie.
-Oh, thank you!
-[Kirby] To Cassie. Welcome.
-[Liz] Yay! Yay!
-[Cassie] Thank you, guys.
I'm just so happy to be here.
-[chuckles]
-And how long are you here for?
-Um, seven nights.
So, until the 29th, Friday.
-[Mia] Mm-hmm.
-And the wedding is Thursday?
-Mm!
-[grunts]
-[Mia laughs]
-[Liz] I love weddings.
-Have you ever been
to a wedding?
No, but that Mormon couple
that I went to high school with,
they just got married.
They posted so many pictures.
Mom, they are so precious.
-People post
so many engagement photos.
-On Facebook?
-[scoffs] Who uses
Facebook anymore?
-[Kirby] I do.
-I use it for the marketplace.
-Instagram now.
Liz, do you think
you'll hang out
with any of your friends
-while you're home?
-No! I mean, I'll probably
run into somebody
in town or something.
It's always the wrong person.
Never happens to me.
Shocker. I wonder why.
-So, how did you two meet?
-Mm!
-He told us.
-I know, Kirby,
but I wanna hear it from Cassie.
Okay, sure. Um,
we were both in grad school,
and we had no classes together,
but, um, you know,
two months later, we were...
-...at this place in LA
and, um-- Yes.
-The Long Haul.
-[Ben chuckles]
-Um, which is
this bar in K-Town,
it has, you know, dancing
and an outdoor seating area
and just, you know,
-space--
-And y-- you never see anyone
you know in LA. So, it was,
-like, immediately exciting.
-[Mia] Mm!
-And Cassie, are you also--
-[Liz] So then, did he, like,
-ask you out
after that or like--
-[Cassie] Yeah. So,
we talked a lot and then,
uh, exchanged numbers--
-And we went out
for drinks that week and, uh...
-[Mia grunts]
-Yeah, it was,
it was really great.
-[softly] Yeah.
It was really
refreshing to, um...
...you know,
meet someone that way.
-What way?
-[Gordon] Not on an app.
Oh. Did you guys read
that article about dating apps?
-Uh, no. What article was that?
-Oh, wait, no, it was a TikTok.
But they say that,
like, dating apps,
even though they,
like, expand your pool
of potential partners--
-I'm still wondering.
And, Cassie--
-[Liz] Um. Excuse me.
I would like to finish my story.
You've been
interrupting me all day.
Well, if I don't interrupt,
I don't get to say anything.
Anyway, uh... [laughs] I was
just wondering, uh, Cassie,
are you also, uh,
a-- an architect?
Oh! No. Uh, actually, I tried.
It just wasn't for me.
So, um-- now I'm actually
in real estate.
-[Mia] Mm!
-And she's really good at it.
Well, I-- I'm still learning.
That's a great industry.
It's very competitive.
-[softly] Yes.
-Okay. That's all.
I just wanted to clarify.
Liz.
Oh, no. No, whatever. Whatever
I was talking about, anyway.
Ooh, Kirby! You have outdone
yourself with this steak.
-It is delicious.
-Thank you. I'll be
your sous-chef anytime.
-[giggling]
-Ugh. [softly] That's gross.
Cassie,
did you get enough to eat?
Yes. Um. Yes.
Sorry. Yeah. No, I just
don't eat meat. So this is--
You don't eat meat?
Did we know this?
-Ben? I don't--
-Um, yeah, right.
Sorry, I, I meant
to tell you guys, but I...
...I realized on the way here
they didn't tell you,
and by the time
I remembered to tell you,
we were already on the way,
and I didn't wanna
throw off dinner plans,
-but it's, it's fine,
we'll shop tomorrow.
-Yeah.
Wait, wait. "We"?
Uh, yeah.
I am now also a vegetarian.
-Does that mean no eggs or--
-No. We, we can have dairy.
-Eggs aren't dairy.
-You know what? I--
I could fix
something else for you, honey.
No, no, really. I promise,
I am so used to making do.
-So--
-Oh, I don't want you
to just make do.
-I mean, Ben--
-Mom, it's, it's fine.
-Really, please.
-Yeah.
Please. I'm so good.
I have plenty to eat
and I am just so happy
-to be having home-cooked meal.
-[Mia softly] Yeah. Mm.
Why did you become a vegetarian?
-Dude.
-What? I'm curious.
[sighs] Well, you know--
No, I know why you are.
Talking to Cassie.
Yeah. Um... well,
a lot of reasons,
but mainly just
the environmental impact.
-Oh, really?
-Mm-hmm.
I mean,
you're not in LA anymore.
This is big ag country.
Your food transportation
distance is nothing
that could offset
the fuel emissions
you're trying to save, right?
Oh. Uh, yeah.
Do you get this
from somewhere local?
Mia?
Um, Safeway.
[Gordon]
Do you like the fake meat?
-I do.
-You know who owns
the majority shares
of those companies now, right?
Are you aware?
Tyson, JBS, Cargill.
-I thought you'd know that.
-Um, sure. But, you know,
they'll follow the money
wherever the demand is, so--
Sure. But what's
the big difference
if it's still feeding
the same big
polluting industry? I mean,
that's a classic
illusion of choice.
It's-- kind of sounds like
consumer activism, honestly.
Um, right. Well, it's just--
it's not the same product,
you know?
Um. You know, it takes,
like, 600 gallons of water
to make a single hamburger.
-[Mia] Oh, 600 gallons!
-[Kirby] I've heard about that.
It's a lot.
Did you fly here today?
-Yeah.
-[Gordon] Into Portland?
-Uh, Pendleton.
-So that's two flights.
Tell me, actually,
everybody, riddle me this.
Wha-- what has
a bigger carbon footprint?
-Two flights or a hamburger?
-[Kirby] All right. Okay.
-Hold up there.
-Whoa! No, no, no, no.
I'm just a little confused
on her position,
so I'm trying to ask
a question to clarify.
Yeah. No, I don't disagree.
I think we should
all fly a little less.
[Gordon]
Or not at all.
-Well, I don't fly every day.
-Yeah, but you drive every day.
Everybody drives
every day, Gordo.
Not anymore.
People work remotely.
Sorry, Gordon.
What is it that, um, you do?
Tech support.
There's a JavaScript site
that I run beta tests for.
Mm. Hey, Ben, could that
work for you? Tech support?
What? No. No, Mom, that is
completely away from anything
that I'm trying to do.
-And I need
something consistent.
-What, you can't keep up
-with those taxes in Cali?
-Gordon--
Nobody calls it Cali, okay?
Only tourists call it Cali.
-[Gordon clicks tongue]
Whatever, I don't care.
-[softly] I call it Cali.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Do people really call it LA?
-[all] Yeah.
-Yeah, Dad.
-Was that a real question?
-[Liz] Oh, my God.
-[Ben] I-- I don't think...
-[Mia] Kirby. He was joking.
-[muffled chatter]
-[light melancholic music]
[faint horn]
[Ben]
Hear that?
Train horn.
-It's how I know I'm home.
-Sound like your dad.
[chuckles] You know,
I think they like you.
[chuckles]
Why didn't you
tell them that I'm--
That we are vegetarians?
[grunts] Look, honestly, I'm...
[sighs] I'm, I'm really sorry,
okay? I know it's--
I was, I was jus-- I was
so focused on getting us here
that I, I didn't
even think about it,
didn't cross my mind.
But you were like,
"I've told them
everything about you."
-[sighs]
-That just kind of feels
like a major oversight.
[sighing] I know. I know, but...
...it's okay. We'll
grocery shop tomorrow, okay?
Are you serious?
I was just subjected
to a full-on
environmental debate!
Yeah, that's, that's,
that's just his thing.
He's a know-it-all.
I've never met
your family before.
What was I supposed to do?
Uh, just don't give him
any attention.
-[scoffs] Oh.
-I mean, he's--
No, hey. He's, he's 30.
He lives at home. And honestly,
whenever he goes off like that,
-I just, I just ignore him.
-Okay, well, I can't give
the silent treatment
to your brother who I just met!
That whole dinner
became the Gordo Show,
and Ben, you said nothing!
I know. I know, I'm sorry. It--
[sighs] Hey,
you said it yourself,
family is weird, okay?
But...
[deeply inhales] I don't know,
tomorrow's a new day.
[softly] Yeah.
Hey, it won't happen again.
Okay? I promise.
Okay.
Happy, boo?
[deeply exhales]
[softly] Happy, boo.
I, uh, I got you something.
-Really? What is it?
-It's, um...
...it's a little
housewarming gift.
-What? We're not moving.
-No-- [chuckles] I know,
you, you'll see what I mean.
Well, shouldn't you
just wait until Christmas
-and then you can--
-No, no, it's for tonight.
Mm, okay. Um...
Can I have a hint?
Yeah. You know...
...all of a sudden,
man, I'm getting really warm.
-You could help me out of this.
-[laughs]
[Ben grunts softly]
Santa came
a little early this year.
-Oh.
-I, I thought
you liked the briefs.
Yeah, I-- I, uh, I do. Um...
...have you been
wearing those all day?
-[softly] Mm-hmm. Surprise.
-[chuckles]
-Can we...?
-[indistinct whispering]
-[whispering] Sure?
We just got here.
-Yes.
-I'm glad you're here.
-Yeah, me too.
[gentle music]
-I like the white underwear.
-I look boring.
Not all of you.
[deeply exhales]
[light tense music]
[softly]
Is there something I can do?
No.
I-- I thought
I would lighten the mood.
It just feels like clockwork.
Like, "Oh! Now, we're alone.
Time to have the sex
I planned, you know,
I guess a day
in advance by wearing...
...some underwear all day"?
I don't know how to say
no to that.
-I just feel like a frump.
-We j-- we just haven't had
that much alone time
together in a while.
I'm with you in Oregon!
No, I mean, like,
one-on-one time, without plans,
-after work.
-After my work.
[sighs] Come on,
you know how hard I'm looking.
All day long...
...I talk to people.
It takes all of my energy.
And at the end of the day,
I'm just exhausted
and I'm in recharge mode
and I wanna relax
and have space.
And we used
to be really good about that.
Yeah, but we also used
to see each other more.
That was in the early stages
of our relationship.
I liked those early stages.
Look, I know it might feel
a little... skewed
because I'm not working, but...
...hey, it's not
gonna be like this forever.
All right? And I thought having
the stupid master's degree
was gonna help, but...
...it did get
between me and you.
I'm sorry.
[sighs]
We need to talk.
Wait, no. No, no, no.
I, I, I said
I was sorry about dinner.
It's not about that anymore.
Okay, but we, we--
we just got here.
That's what I said.
About the sex,
but you just couldn't wait.
And now--
I can't wait.
I don't wanna wait.
[shakily] This isn't working.
Not anymore.
And I've known that for a while.
And I've realized
that in order...
[shakily exhales]
...to have the independence
that I need,
it means sacrificing
my relationship,
which feels awful.
And I feel guilty
for wanting nights to myself.
And... we are always
rushing into the next plan.
Yeah, because
if I don't make plans,
then we don't see each other.
Yeah, I know.
[shakily] And maybe it's because
I don't feel the way you do.
And I've tried.
I've been trying.
Me being here is--
is, is me trying.
Sorry. Yeah, I just--
I know how I feel.
C-- what about--
[deeply inhales] what about
all this Christmas stuff?
Like, we have--
I think I should just
go be with my family.
You... [shakily breathes]
You always complain
about how stressful
your Christmases are.
-That's, that's--
-[crying] Do you have
a better plan?
Can we-- can we
just talk about this?
This is us talking about it.
[melancholic music]
[water running]
[crying]
[sighs]
Morning, early bird.
[chuckling] Sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you,
I'm usually the only one up
this early.
-Coffee?
-Oh, yes, please.
How'd you sleep? Those beds
okay? They're a little old.
Oh, yes, yeah. Um...
Yeah, the beds were fine.
Uh...
Have you talked to Ben
at all this morning?
-Sweetheart?
-Like, did he--
he text you last night
or something?
'Cause sometimes, I--
I'll do that, you know, when I,
um, want my mom
to see something the next day.
Sorry. It's weird. Um...
It's okay. Uh, can I trouble you
for your Wi-Fi?
Wi-Fi? Oh, my gosh,
I'm so bad at that,
I usually need Gordon.
Um, you know what?
Is it just a question
I can answer?
N-- uh, well, no.
[stutters] Um...
I'll just be right back.
[softly] Ben.
[in normal voice] Ben.
-Okay. Get up, please.
-[grunting and sighing]
-Hey.
-No, seriously.
Oh, what's up?
Really?
Oh.
I'm sorry. I--
I've forgotten in my sleep.
[sighs] I'm so tired.
[sighs] It's 7:37.
Your, your mom's in the kitchen
right now, and she has no idea.
And I-- I don't know what to do
'cause I don't have service,
-I can't look at flights, I--
-Did, did you tell her?
No, I didn't tell her!
These are your parents!
Okay. Can I just ask
one more time? Can we--
Can we just try to talk
about this, to work this out?
Maybe. But not during Christmas.
[softly] Okay.
-Okay. Please. Sorry, but--
-Yeah. Yeah.
I need some coffee first.
[soft clinking]
[inhales deeply]
Uh, Mom, Dad, do you guys mind
if I borrow the car?
Oh! Uh, seems okay. Mia?
When's the last time
you drove in the snow?
It has snow tires. I'll be fine.
Where are you going?
Um... uh, actually,
can I check something
on your computer real quick?
Uh, actually,
can you tell us what's up first?
Yeah. Um...
...well, so, um,
this is gonna sound crazy,
but it turns out
that Cassie needs
to go home for Christmas,
so... I'm gonna take her
to the airport.
-[Kirby] Today?
-You just arrived!
I know. I'm, uh, so sorry.
Um, I've been
so excited to come,
and I-- I wasn't planning
for this, but just...
...something came up,
so, uh, this is just
what I have to do now.
-Can't you stay for,
like, o-- one more day?
-I know, I'm sorry, Liz,
-I'll explain
all of this later, really--
-Okay, here we go.
We get two flights,
9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m.
to Portland, as expected.
-Too late for 9:00 a.m.
-Well, yeah. We'll get
the 12:00 p.m., no problem.
-[Cassie] What time
does that land?
-[Ben] Oh, God!
-There's no buy button.
-It's the airport website.
Yeah, this is
where I got it before.
I see the flight number
-and everything, but there's
no purchase button.
-Oh! You know what?
-It might be full,
it's just a puddle jumper.
-Try standby.
-You have to call for that.
-Uh, you know what?
-Try for tomorrow too.
-Tomorrow?
-It's hard to book
last minute, honey.
-Okay.
You know what? I'm calling them.
But wait! Uh, it says here
that there is a direct flight
-from Pendleton to O'Hare.
-What?
-What airline?
-Yeah. Um, Jetset.
I'm not familiar,
but it's... $13,000?
-[Mia] Ooh!
-It's a private plane company.
Why would they have
that listed here?
Might be your only option.
God, I wonder
if they have a payment plan.
I'm kidding.
-[mumbles] What is so urgent?
-Hello? Hi. Um, I'm,
I'm calling about availability
for the 12:00 p.m.
flight to Portland.
Yeah, today.
Y-- yes. It, it wouldn't
let me purchase online,
-so I was hoping...
-[man on TV] I saw semi-trucks
in front of me starting
-to jackknife
and hit each other.
-[woman on TV] Kevin brings
all the story of the crash
about 20 miles
east of Pendleton.
-He got off into the median
and thought he'd be safe.
-[man on TV] I just thought
the semi-trucks were still fine.
There was no way they would
be able to stop.
[woman on TV]
Kevin says the semi crashed
into the car behind him...
-[softly] Wait-- wait Ben!
-...pushing it into his car,
then into another car.
[woman on TV] If you're just
tuning in, we do have
a traffic alert for you.
I-84 is closed in Oregon
from La Grande to Pendleton
because of multiple crashes.
As many as 98 cars and trucks
crashed in this area.
Both westbound
and eastbound lanes are closed
between exit 265 and 216.
Very common this time
of year, when we see
this kind of weather.
Because of the crashes,
the Oregon Department
of Transportation says
they expect an extended closure
through the evening
for the westbound freeway,
so heads up
if you're heading to Oregon.
We'll keep you updated
on air and online
as we get more information.
[ominous music]
[Ben]
Okay. Yeah, yes.
Yeah, we'll book that
online. Thank you.
[laughing] Ye--
yes, yes. We're safe.
Uh-- Happy holidays to you too.
Okay. Bye-bye.
[deeply exhales]
So, the next available flight
from Pendleton is
on December 27th, at 12:50 p.m.
[light tense music]
[softly] Okay. Uh...
-Listen, Cassie--
-Can you let me process
this for ten seconds?
-Hey, look, look, look,
let's, let's figure this--
-[Cassie] Don't act so excited
-that I'm stuck here.
-[Ben] I'm not! I'm not,
okay. But, but look,
-we, we can--
we can talk this out.
-[Cassie] Oh, my God! I don't--
-Don't--
-We have so much time!
I, I know!
I know, and it's, it's just--
Oh! Did you guys break up?
N-- no.
Ben!
It's--
All right. Yeah, we-- we...
[shakily inhales and exhales]
...we broke up last night.
No, guys, come on,
don't break up.
You could fix it.
[shakily] I'm sorry, guys,
I-- really, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.
Um, but I need to leave.
Uh, he can explain.
Do not follow me.
I, I just-- I can't...
[sharply exhales]
do anything right.
[panting]
[softly crying]
[melancholic music]
[rattling]
[gentle music playing]
This would have never
happened with Evan.
How long have you
been dating this person?
Three months.
But we met in Comm 102.
So before we even started,
we laid out our expectations
and our boundaries.
We're both very assertive,
so it feels like we've
been dating longer.
Hey, um... uh, can I borrow
your room for a phone call?
Oh. Oh! I think I got it!
[Mia]
Sure.
-[train rattling]
-[clicks]
Oh, shoot!
Hey, Sara. Yeah,
it's-- it's Ben.
Yeah. Yeah. Cassie's Ben.
-[Sara] Hi.
-Um, y-- yeah. Uh, how are you?
Ar-- are you, um, are you,
you home for the holidays?
Yeah, I got
into Chicago yesterday,
and I'm at our dad's house
until Christmas Eve.
[chuckles] Cool. Yeah.
-Um, hey, so--
-What's up?
Yeah. L-- listen, I, I,
I really need to talk to you.
I kind of,
kind of need your advice.
Next thing you know,
we're having
a full-fledged conversation
about the future,
and then, out of nowhere,
she's just, like...
..."I'm done." But I feel
like there's a way that we can--
that we can get
through this. So...
...how would you console her?
Um, this isn't really
the best time for me.
-Oh--
-Do you mind
if I call you later?
-Yeah, yeah.
-After I've, um--
Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Um--
-Yeah. Okay.
-Yeah. Just, just call me back.
[cell phone buzzing]
[Cassie loudly]
Ben!
Ben!
You called Sara?
I, uh-- okay, I, I was
just trying to get help.
You have
your entire family downstairs.
-I have no one. I let you--
-Okay, but she knows you. Sh--
Ben, this is just unfair.
I let you handle
this with your family.
[Ben]
Th-- they don't know
anything, okay?
Cassie, I'm trying to be there
for you as best as I can, okay?
[grunts]
[Ben]
Cassie. Can you just-- [sighs]
-[Ben loudly groans]
-[door shuts]
[sighs]
[door opens]
[door bangs]
[Mia whispers]
Kirb.
Go.
[grunting]
What you doing there?
Shoveling the driveway.
[Kirby]
Ah, don't kid yourself.
Get a coat.
-I'm wearing a coat.
-A real coat.
We're going for a walk.
-Dad--
-I wanna show you something.
Trust me. [laughs]
-All right.
-All right.
Good job.
[gentle music]
Dad, what are we doing here?
Wait.
That's the 110 inbound.
[distant rumbling]
-Cool. I've seen it before.
Can we--
-Oh, oh, oh!
-It's cold.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-[train horn blaring]
-What did-- she was saying?
What did she do?
[loudly] What did she do?
[inaudible]
[shouts] Tell me what happened.
[shouting]
She got mad about dinner.
I tried to apologize,
but I made it worse.
So then we fought
about the future.
She feels stressed.
I keep trying to do nice things,
but I keep making it worse.
[crying] She was the most
stable thing I've ever had!
It's taken me so long!
I can't find a job!
My degree is useless!
-Get it all out!
-[screams]
Feel better?
-No.
-[train rumbling]
Now what?
I don't wanna lose her.
You trying to hold on
to that girl
is like you trying
to stop that train.
The only possible outcome is
to get your hand chopped off.
It's a terrible analogy.
Okay. Try this.
When you're in a hole,
stop digging.
Stop bugging her,
calling her sister, stop!
Whatever you're doing, stop!
You can't help it if you're
still thinking about it.
But you can stop doing things.
[soft rattling]
[laughs] I got it, gu--
[clicks]
-What the heck?
-[clicks]
Welcome to Vlogmas Day...
[soft popping] 23.
As always, I'm your host,
Liz Russell.
Today I learned something.
Did you know the most common day
to break up with someone
in the year is December 11th?
I guess two weeks
before Christmas
is just enough time
to cut your losses.
But if you've made it
this far, don't worry,
you're probably safe
through breakup season.
And don't worry, Evan,
we're perfect.
You're perfect.
I'm gonna FaceTime you later.
[chuckles]
But not everyone is so lucky.
You know, I'm kind of pissed
at my brother right now.
He brought Cassie
all the way here.
They break up, right? Day one.
And now she's stuck
with us throughout
all of Christmas break.
So much for a cute and fun
season finale. [chuckles]
My DMs are open
for survival tips.
[door opens and closes]
There you are.
Did it help?
Mm, maybe.
Eventually.
[sighs]
-I'm getting punished for this?
-Oh, dude, do you think
I wanna be here?
-Sleep on the couch.
-No! Dude, I'm gonna wake up
at dawn when my mom wakes up.
It's five days. Suck it up.
[sighs] Come on, man,
this used to be
our room, remember?
Yeah. You went to college.
You weren't supposed
to come back.
-It was, like, five years ago.
-It was seven years.
I'm glad you're keeping score.
I'm sorry that my life isn't
as perfect as yours, buds.
Okay. [sighs] What if I...
help you clean up?
Fine.
[gentle music]
Hey. Here.
[softly] Thanks.
[cutlery clinking]
Do you guys remember that book,
There's Something in My Attic?
I used to read it to you guys,
Liz thought it was too scary.
Anyways,
that's what this feels like.
There's also that movie,
Aliens in the Attic.
Gordon, can you just stop being
a dick for, like, two seconds?
-Hey--
-Stop being a little baby.
You wanna know
how our argument started?
It started with me having
to apologize for dinner.
[scoffs] Okay, yeah.
I'm not gonna feel bad
because you think
I'm the reason
that she dumped you.
That's on you, buds.
[laughs] Also, hey, everybody,
look at Ben's plate!
-I-- uh--
-It is local tonight.
-Came from Hill Meats.
-If it was really your diet,
-you'd stick to it.
-Stick to it?
That's really funny, Gordon.
Remind me, what year
-did you graduate college?
Hmm, I can't remember.
-Oh, okay, Ben--
Honestly, man, if that's
your metric for success,
wake up. It's an expensive
piece of paper.
-It's a great experience.
-"Metric of success."
-What's yours then, huh?
Was it-- is it career?
-Oh, play the hits.
-[cross talk]
-Play the hits.
You have no girlfriend,
-and you've got no job--
-...okay, you both--
Both of you, stop that
right now. Listen. Stop!
That's enough.
Kirby, can you, like, give them
some kind of chore to do?
-As what? A punishment?
-[Mia sighs]
I wasn't gonna say that, but--
-Make them wash the dishes.
-[sighs]
-No, I'd rather do that myself.
-No. No, no, no, no, no.
-You've been doing
enough already.
-[sighs]
Okay.
I need you guys to load
the utensils facing up.
You have
to hand wash the pans, okay?
Gordon can do it.
I cleaned his room today.
Crybaby.
Liz, will you help?
[line ringing]
-Mom?
-Hey!
So, did you make it
to La Grange?
L-- La Grande. Uh--
Yeah, we made it last night.
I thought you would let me know.
Anyway,
Sara told me to call you.
[clicks tongue]
[shakily] Um, Mom...
I broke up with Ben.
You did what?
Didn't you just get there?
[crying] It just wasn't working,
not anymore. [sobs]
Oh, my gosh!
So, where does that leave you?
There's nothing I can do,
I'm, s-- I'm stuck here
because I can't fly out
until the 27th. So...
-What are you going to do?
-I don't know.
There's nothing I can do.
[deeply inhales]
I've just been sitting
in their attic...
...all day long, so...
[sobbing] I don't know.
Well, I guess sometimes
you have to learn the hard way.
Why can't you ever
just say, "I'm sorry?"
[Cassie's Mom sighs]
I am sorry.
It sounds terrible.
Entering Christmas?
But what difference
does it make?
I almost didn't
even call to tell you
because I knew you would
just say something like this.
You would just say,
"I told you so."
I know you're upset.
It sounds like this whole trip
was a little... impulsive.
No, it wasn't!
And I don't want you to s--
just sit on the phone
and critique me,
because I'm already...
[shakily inhales]
doing that myself.
Mom, sometimes
it would just be nice
-to actually sit and,
and talk to you.
-[knocking on door]
-[loudly] Um, yes?
-[door opens and creaks]
[Mia]
It's me. Are you decent?
Um... [softly] Um, uh,
Mom, I'm gonna t-- text you
whenever I figure out my plan,
okay? I got to go.
-Oh, hang in there.
-Okay, bye. [sniffles]
[loudly] Uh, yea-- uh, yes,
p-- You can come in.
[door closes]
Hey. I just brought you
a little dinner.
Oh, thank you,
that's so sweet, I could've--
Oh, I know, but I could tell
that wasn't working.
[sighs] So, did you talk
to your family today?
[shakily] Yeah. Um, yeah,
I just talked to my mom.
-Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt.
-No, no, it's okay.
-It's, it's late
where they are, so--
-Okay, well,
there's some more Tupperware
in the fridge, okay?
-Mm-hmm.
-If you want a midnight snack.
-Mm-hmm.
-[Mia] Okay.
-[crying]
-Oh, sweetheart!
-Oh! Hey!
-[Cassie] Oh, no--
-No, it's okay,
I ca-- I'm sorry.
-It's okay. Come here.
[softly] It's okay.
-[sobbing] I'm sorry.
-No.
Don't worry. Hey, I'm a mom.
-[laughs]
-[chuckles]
Okay?
Oh, babe!
-[sniffles]
-You know, we're gonna
figure this all out, okay?
[softly] I got you.
[distant thuds]
[grunts] Jesus.
Who still uses
a cable for internet?
[deeply exhales] Out here,
it's the only fast way.
Hey, um...
...about earlier,
I-- I didn't mean to--
Don't worry about it.
[Ben]
Really?
Nothing I haven't already heard.
Hey, can I ask you something?
Shoot.
-Without you being, like--
-Just ask, Ben.
How did it go down
with you and Cristina?
[deeply inhales and exhales]
Are you trying to poke the bull?
[deeply exhales] Well...
...I mean, it's the most
brutal thing that I've
ever had to go through.
Way worse than when
Grandpa Al died, and that--
you remember how rough that was.
But he was old,
so it was like a...
...a natural occurrence.
I shouldn't
have brought her here.
It would've happened either way.
No. We love each other.
Of course you do.
It still happens.
And somebody realizes...
[blows sharply]
..."Oh, this isn't right."
And then,
it's basically impossible
to snap back.
It was just some dumb mistakes.
[Gordon]
I doubt it.
She probably had to come
all the way out here to realize
-that it wasn't working.
-Well, I can't resolve it
while she's stuck here.
[gentle music]
Or worse, try to get over her.
You're not gonna get over her.
-What?
-Someone dumps you...
[deeply exhales]
that's, "Good night."
You feel that forever.
Even if you find somebody new,
you know, you just--
[deeply inhales and exhales]
I guess you just get
better at managing it.
Is that where you are?
I guess.
I found my own little...
...twisted version of peace.
[softly] I don't want peace,
I want my girlfriend back.
Hey.
Not an option.
This was the longest day
in my life.
Well, time flies
when you're having fun, buds.
[clicks]
[Gordon grunts]
[music increases]
[birds chirping]
[bell chiming]
[train rumbling]
-[Mia] Ben?
-[quietly] Hey.
-Hey.
-Um, what, what do you
have planned today?
Oh, gosh! So much.
Baking and errands
-and, I mean, uh, I've got--
-I was thinking we could do
some family activities.
-O--
-With-- with Cassie too.
[softly] Okay. Look,
if you keep bugging her,
it is just gonna
tick her off more and--
Look, she's always wanting
family time. All right?
-And it's not g-- just gonna be
me and her, it'll be all of us.
-I'm actually team Ben
on this one. And can we please
do this video challenge?
-It needs
an even number of people!
-Okay, listen.
I need to bake and cook
-and do the Christmas cards!
-Yeah!
-We can help.
-We can-- yeah.
[light upbeat music]
[Cassie sighs]
Aren't you at all concerned
it's gonna be awkward?
Oh! No, time flies
when you're having fun.
-Don't you remember
what I said yesterday?
-[Ben] Yeah, and I'm,
I'm not gonna make
a big deal out of it, all right?
-It's gonna be fine.
-Okay. It is Christmas Eve.
-Can we talk
about the dance, though?
-I know! But she's always--
-It needs four people,
Dad can't dance.
-[cross talk]
-[Mia] I need--
-[chatter stops]
-Morning, Cassie.
-[chuckling] Oh, good morning.
We're all going out today.
Do you wanna come?
-Um--
-Okay. No, it's--
you don't need to.
Yes! Actually, I-- I'd love to.
Okay.
We leave in 30.
[inhales deeply]
[loud scratching]
[Kirby]
Cool car, huh?
I got this for Mia when, uh,
the kids were in daycare.
-[Cassie] Oh.
-Custom paint job too.
Yeah, it looks like
you're missing some numbers.
-O--
-[Kirby] Oh, yeah,
that keeps us humble. [laughs]
-Yeah.
-You know? Those numbers
are actually inside the car.
-He keeps promising to fix that.
-Well, they don't stay on
in the winter,
and you have to order
a special glue.
-So--
-Well, order it, silly.
Wait up! You losers thought
you're gonna have fun
without me?
No way!
-Okay, somebody's gotta sit
in the way back.
-[Gordon and Liz] Not it!
-[Ben] I get carsick.
-[Gordon] I'm too tall.
[Kirby]
How old are you guys?
You sound like children.
[Mia]
You know what?
You sound exactly the same
-with your sister, Kirb.
-[Kirby] Yeah, well,
my sister and I
have an understanding.
-[door closes]
-I'll sit in the back.
Cool move.
[gentle music]
-[Ben] Before you go,
I just wanna say that--
-Look, Ben,
I don't wanna go
if it's gonna be
-like this--
-Just, just this one thing.
I'm sorry for calling Sara.
-Thank you.
-It was a total
-invasion of privacy--
-Yes, I got it.
-[rattling]
-[Ben grunts]
-[thud]
-[Kirby] Nailed it!
-[cheering and clapping]
-Nice, Dad.
-[Liz] That was good!
-Well done, Kirb.
Thank you. All right.
Hey, Cassie, it's your turn.
-[Cassie] Okay. Gosh.
-[Kirby] Thank you.
-Strong.
-[Mia whispers] Good job.
[Kirby]
Just warming up.
[Cassie clears throat]
[Gordon]
Cassie!
-[whooshing]
-[thudding]
-[Liz] Okay.
-Oh, gosh!
-I'm so bad. I'm sorry.
-[Mia] It's okay.
-You tried.
-Hey, we're gonna get you there.
-It's okay.
-Okay.
-All right, you.
-[Kirby] Lizzie!
-[Gordon] Let's go, Liz!
-[Ben] All right, Liz.
-[Gordon] The Liz-onator.
-[Kirby] The Liz-meister.
-[whooshing and thudding]
-[Gordon] Jeez.
-[Mia] Woo!
-Okay. Okay!
-I suck at this!
-At least you can
hit the target.
Okay, let me show you how.
So, you have the ax
in your hand.
Make sure you're lined up
with the target.
And start with your arms
straight. Just like that.
-Okay. [sniffs]
-And then, just,
like, start to bend them
-as you bring them
over your head--
-Okay. I got it.
-Okay. Okay.
-I'm good. Thank you. [sniffs]
-[whooshing and thudding]
-[groans]
-[Gordon] Hey!
-[Liz] That's good.
That was good.
-[Mia] It's all right--
-[Liz] That's getting better!
Okay, who's the best?
-Guess who.
-You?
-No.
-[Cassie gasps]
What? No way.
I need to see this!
-[sharply exhales] Okay.
-[Kirby] Watch and learn.
All right, Mia.
-[whooshing and thudding]
-[all cheering] Yeah!
-Target acquired.
-Nice.
-Woohoo!
-I don't miss.
How do you do that?
Okay, come here, I'll show you.
And, Liz, this is for you too.
So, you wanna aim
not at your target,
but through your target. Okay?
So pretend there's a tree
behind this tree.
That way, the ax hits mid-turn.
Or you could
just pretend that it's Ben.
-[Kirby] Hey, hey, hey.
-[Cassie] Okay.
-Okay.
-Hey.
-Come on.
-[Kirby] Take it down
a little bit.
-A little respect.
-[Gordon] Okay, Dad.
A little respect.
-[whooshing and thudding]
-[gasps]
-[cheering and clapping]
-Nice!
-[laughing] Hey, good job.
-So fun!
-Thank you. Thank you.
-[Gordon] There she is,
there she is.
-[laughing] That was so fun!
-[Mia] Thank you.
-Nice! Yeah!
-[Mia] Well done.
[gentle music]
[indistinct chatter]
["Be My Eyes" by Nick Delffs]
Once a friend
gave a song to me
Heard the voice
of a ghost echo and ring
Ain't it hard enough
Too much on your mind
-And nothing to say
-[Kirby] All right,
gang, here we are.
Lift me up...
Go shop it.
-[Cassie] Thank you.
-Yeah, yeah!
[indistinct whispering]
[indistinct chatter]
-[Cassie] Your family
is really sweet.
-Really?
Yeah. I mean, like,
I never get to do
this kind of stuff
-with my entire family, so--
-[sighs]
Um, hey, uh, can I ask,
what, uh, what made you
come out today?
I just couldn't do
another day up there.
-I'm glad you're having fun!
-Yeah.
Happy, boo?
Um, where to, next?
[Mia] Well, if we're gonna
shop for presents,
we better split up.
-I'm heading that way.
-Ooh, I wanna go
to the consignment stores.
The, uh, used bookstore
is pretty cool.
-Yeah! I'm down
for the consignment stores.
-[gasps]
-Yay!
-Okay! You got two hours!
[birds chirping]
Looks like it's just
me and you, bro.
-[Christmas jazz music]
-[singer vocalizing]
Hey, how are you?
I think there's something wrong
with this transformer.
Uh, the train will run great
for a few seconds,
and then it just fails.
It's like it runs out of steam.
It's not real steam.
[laughs] Yes, I know that,
but, uh, what do you think?
Is there a reason
the current's not going through?
Ah! I don't know.
Oh! Golly. Um--
-Fast. Ready? Okay.
-Yeah. I love it.
-That's-- [laughs]
-Perfect. No, it's great!
It was so cute. It was so cute.
-Okay, this is
what I wanna show you.
-All right.
This is our mall.
-This is your mall?
-Kind of. Yeah. Yeah.
-No way!
-I mean, it's, it's not any big
brands or anything like that.
Mostly just, like,
small consignment shops,
but most of my closet
it's from here.
-Well, this is really,
really amazing, I mean...
-Right?
-...I've never seen
anything like this in LA.
-I know!
I know. Ooh, Clarence rack.
Speaking my language!
Yeah, well, this is
a hobby shop, I figured
you'd know your way around it.
-I mean, you got
a train part right there.
-I do know my way.
-I know my way around my shop.
-Oh, I'm-- I'm not saying
you don't,
I'm not saying you don't.
I love this place.
I just wish that, uh...
-We appreciate your business.
-...this darn thing would work!
Well, it doesn't, does it?
But, you know, tinkering is
what makes it fun.
There are limits to tinkering.
Oh, my gosh.
Liz, what about this?
-Costume party? [laughs]
-I think so.
Oh, my gosh!
I have to have th--
I don't have anything
in this color.
Oh, yeah. No, pink,
I could never visualize
you wearing pink.
-I have no idea
what that would be like.
-[laughs]
-It does look like you.
-Oh, thanks.
But I-- I don't know.
Every time I go out shopping
for other people, I always
end up finding things
for myself instead. [groans]
-Well--
-[sighs] Come this way.
Dude, honestly, this is
so much worse than yesterday.
Like, she's having
so much fun with everybody
except me.
D-- And at ax throwing,
she was high-fiving everyone
and, like, cheering.
-And now she's hanging out
with Liz and, like, just--
-Hey!
-I'm not
hanging out with Cassie.
-Dude, you know what I mean.
Man, like, it's just--
it's... torture.
-I'm just--
-Man,
-all you talk about is Cassie,
Cassie, Cassie--
-Yeah,
-because I'm, I'm trying to--
-Well, switch it up
a little bit.
Like, buy a book or something.
Anything else!
Maybe there's something
on real estate that she'd like.
[groans] No, buy a book for you!
[train loudly rumbling]
[Kirby]
Oh, that's a beauty.
Slow and steady, you know?
Boy, if life was as steady
as that, huh? [laughs]
Oh, gee.
Could I talk to you
about something?
Yeah!
It's about Evan. He's great.
And we're both
great communicators.
And he is a very mature
college boy.
But because we established
our guidelines so early on,
I sometimes feel like--
Okay, like, for example,
he has this thing
where he doesn't like
to text, "I love you."
I mean, we say it
to each other all the time,
but-- all the time, in person,
but he thinks it's cheap...
...to text it,
which I totally get.
I respect that
and understand it, but...
[breathes deeply]
...with it being Christmas, I--
I haven't talked
to him in two days,
and all I wanna do
is send him that
without feeling
like I have to worry about it.
I don't know, maybe I'm
overthinking it or something.
Probably no big deal.
I-- it's like, all of a sudden,
everything I say
just makes this so much worse.
-There's a lesson there.
-It-- and it wasn't
even like this
a couple days ago!
Like... [sighs]
Maybe it was
and you didn't know it.
Dude, and that's
even more terrible,
'cause, like, if I--
if I couldn't tell
when her feelings change,
it's like I just--
I never had a way
of really knowing how she felt,
-which--
-You said it, not me.
Jeez.
[sighing] Oh, God.
I don-- I don't know
what to do. Like--
At every corner, every time,
I just try to do something
to make it better.
You know, sometimes,
the best thing to do
is nothing at all.
I can't, I can't
just do nothing!
The Buddha did. He just
sat around, got free rice.
[lively music playing]
And these guidelines are, like,
kind of the whole reason
we fell in love
in the first place.
[deeply inhales]
Now, I just
feel trapped by them.
I mean, i--
it's normal to evolve.
And what worked at the start
of your relationship
may not work forever.
And that's okay.
It doesn't mean it was wrong.
It just means...
...that you're changing
and growing.
You and Ben are?
Sorry.
[sighs]
Ben--
[gentle music]
You know, I really liked Ben.
He's smart and fun.
And we really both love LA,
even though a lot
of people rag on it.
But, you know, sometimes
things change and you realize...
...you don't want it anymore.
You don't want to be
with the same person...
...who always...
...acts like they did
when you first met them.
You know, it's important
to grow together,
and you hope for that,
but you can't... plan that.
So, you know, it either
works out or it just doesn't.
-So do I text Evan or no?
-[chuckles]
[Ben]
Man, I'm cold.
Your blood's gone thin,
you lost that winter tolerance.
Uh, this should melt off
by noon, though, don't worry.
Okay, let's go
to the liquor store.
-Won't help.
-The dispensary!
-Make things worse.
-Okay.
Well, what do you
recommend, then, sensei?
Mm. Let me show you something
that will help you, my son.
-Time.
-Yeah. Wow.
Brilliant.
That's really helpful.
Look, I know it sucks,
but it's truly the only way out.
Have you heard about
the time word origin?
-What?
-Okay, so if you measure
an hour as a unit of time,
the first way you break
that up is minutes.
-What's the next way?
-A second.
Oh, jeez. Dude,
that does not help me at all.
Yeah, I know, but wasn't
it nice to not talk about
what's-her-face for one second?
-[sighs]
-Rocked for me.
[engines rumbling]
[cutlery clinking]
Why do you wanna be
around somebody who clearly
doesn't wanna be with you?
[deeply inhales
and sharply exhales]
[light whimsical music]
-You wanna hear a story?
-Sure.
God, I remember like it
was yesterday.
[shakily breathing]
So, on our third date,
we, um, we go dancing.
It's only been, like, a week,
so I wasn't sure if we were,
you know, actually dating
or just friends,
and I'm just--
[sighs] I'm, I'm all anxious.
And, uh, I'm waiting for her
outside the bathroom.
It's taking forever,
and there was no line,
so I thought...
..."She's left. Boom.
Done, over, just like another
shitty dating app date."
[sighs] So I'm doing
all these mental gymnastics.
And then... out walks Cassie
with two people that she
had never even met before.
And they were,
they were talking and laughing
like they were old friends.
And... she's-- she's just--
She's magnetic!
It is, it is so... amazing
how effortlessly
she attracts people.
-And then... [deeply exhales]
we went back to her apartment.
-[muted]
[softly chuckles]
And?
And she's amazing.
That's the same person.
Yeah. Those good memories
will torture you for a while.
It's gonna feel even worse
when you realize that, for her,
-they're not
good memories anymore.
-[sighing] God.
Well, wh-- what--
what do I do with that?
-Like--
-Just slow down.
Stop counting the seconds.
Let's get you
to the minutes, buds.
Then years.
You're gonna spend a long time
hung up on all this stuff
that you wish you would've done
better or different.
Replaying stories in your head
over and over again.
Then you apologize
and they won't reply.
It'll feel like
all those memories
never even happened to her.
Then you really start to obsess,
and you get stuck in this loop
over and over and over
until you don't even remember
what it was like
to be with them.
[suspenseful music]
-Dude.
-[bell chimes]
Hey, Gordon, hey!
-[grunts] Gordon!
-[bell chimes]
[women indistinctly
chattering and laughing]
-[woman] ...yeah--
-[Gordon] Cristina.
-Hey!
-Hey.
Hey!
Oh! Okay.
-[sighs] Claire.
-Hey.
Um, you remember my brother.
-Hey.
-Yeah, hey.
So, you're in town.
Yeah, um...
[clicks tongue]
we moved our grandparents
into a retirement home, so,
it's just easier for us
to come to them.
Yeah, that's amazing!
They're doing okay?
Yeah.
God. When was the last time
you were in La Grande?
Uh, forever ago, yeah,
since our parents moved.
-Not much reason to come back.
-No, no, I j--
-Hey!
-Hey, Liz. You,
you remember Cristina.
-Yep.
-Hey.
-The whole family.
-Yep. We're still
in the same place.
Nice. I love that for you.
-[Cristina chuckles]
-[Gordon] Uh, well, uh,
-have a blast. Enjoy the--
-[Cristina] Yeah. Okay.
-Merry Christmas to you all.
-[Gordon] Yeah.
-All right--
-Yeah. Bye.
[melancholic music]
[birds chirping]
[deeply exhales]
[lighter clicking]
[blowing]
Let me have some of that.
-You joking?
-Ain't my first rodeo.
But compared to the chicken shit
we used to smoke,
this legal stuff is wild.
She didn't ask me
one single question.
Not even, "How are you?"
It's like talking to somebody
that wants everything you say
to be the end
of the conversation.
Started to be expected.
You'd at least be curious.
Not if I ended it.
I was doing better too.
You know...
...when I split up
with your mom,
-I went to a very long--
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you met Mia,
and it was hunky-dory,
-happily ever after.
-I told you that.
But...
...before I met your mom...
...I had to get over
this girl who had me
wrapped around her finger.
I wanted to marry her so bad.
I was following her
around like a lap dog.
She crushed me.
Was that the English teacher?
[laughing] God damn it!
You've heard this story?
-No, not that part.
-[chuckles]
Well, it taught me to be
a little bit more discerning
the next time around.
The next time around,
you got a divorce!
Yeah! Well, I--
it also led me to Mia.
You should've seen me.
I thought I'd hopped the freight
I'd be on
for the rest of my life.
[clicks tongue]
Definitely thought
I had that with Cristina.
Other thing that can help
is a change of scenery.
Is that so?
I'm just saying that
when I got divorced,
I wanted to get out
of there so fast.
Are you insinuating
something, Dad?
Hardly.
What-- did Mia
put you up to this?
Mia's too nice to kick you out.
And... I enjoy your company,
if you can believe it.
-[softly scoffs]
-But... [sighs]
...I would be remiss...
...if I didn't say that
it can be a lot easier to...
...put stuff behind you
in a new environment.
I lived here
way before I met her.
It means change, kiddo.
It could be good
to change with it.
Smoke on that, why don't you?
[light melancholic music]
[sighs]
[gentle music playing]
You need any help?
-Absolutely!
-You guys baking?
Ding, ding, ding!
You wanna join us?
Yeah! Ben, you bake?
-When I'm home, yeah.
-Yeah, he just usually
eats the frosting.
-[chuckling]
-Okay, well,
at least I didn't almost
burn the house down
with an Easy-Bake oven.
-[laughter]
-[Cassie] What?
I did, yeah.
Wait, do we still have that?
[Mia] Hey, you know the rule.
If it's not in your room,
it's probably gone.
We have this rule
that Liz and Gordon
can keep their stuff here
as long as it stays
in their bedrooms.
-[Liz] Yeah, but what about Ben?
-Uh, Ben is good,
he's just got a couple
of boxes in the garage.
Hate to think
what Gordon's got in his room.
-Oh, Irish cream,
can you grab it?
-[Ben] No idea where that is.
I do, it's in the dining room.
Hold tight.
[sighs]
[Gordon]
Oh, I'll get it.
[Mia]
I didn't hear you come in.
I just needed a second outside.
-Mm.
-[soft clinking]
That salsa you made
was really good.
Thank you.
I thought we'd have it
on the eggs tomorrow too.
Yeah, a little morning spice.
Yeah!
-Thanks.
-You're welcome!
[sighs softly]
-You're gonna hate me.
-What's up?
I texted Evan, "I love you."
And I wrote out
this whole thing explaining
why I was saying that,
but then I just
ended up deleting it
and saying, "Merry Christmas!
I love you, emoji, emoji."
And he never replied. [scoffs]
[groaning] God, I'm going crazy.
I just threw away
three months of trust
and happiness
for one little hit
of dopamine. Cool.
Liz, it-- it's Christmas Eve.
You're telling me
he hasn't looked
at his phone in four hours?
Maybe you should just put
your phone on Do Not Disturb--
I can't stop thinking about it!
You guys have been together
for a long time.
You know,
it's one misunderstanding,
and a well-intentioned one,
-it's not gonna make
or break everything.
-Yeah, but we've never once
-broken our guidelines.
-Okay, well,
maybe you can just look at this
as a test or something.
No! I-- I don't want
to break something
that has been working
this whole time! I just--
I wanted to tell him
how I felt, and I did.
Now I feel so juvenile.
-No.
-[footsteps approaching]
-You'll totally--
-Hey, I got something
to show you.
-Right now?
-Yeah! Yeah, yeah, come on.
-I'm sorry, I-- Okay.
-Come on! Here.
All right. [exhales]
There it is. [chuckling]
-Yeah, there it is.
-[laughing] Yeah.
Oh, here.
[laughing]
It is great, I got to the,
the houses and the tie.
Well, um--
It's fun. [chuckles]
-So that's it. You... you just--
-What do you want, Ben?
-You wanted to see
the photo, so--
-Yes, I did,
-before we broke up.
-So you just-- you just
turn the switch off.
-Oh, my God, excuse me?
-Okay.
-Don't set me up like this.
-So you have fun
with everyone else,
-and so, I just-- I tried to--
-I give you an inch,
and you just take
and take and take from me!
And you want me to sit here
and coddle all of this
lovey-dovey shit!
-And I'm stuck here
in a pretty awful situation...
-Cassie--
-Cassie--
-...but I'm trying to make
the best of it,
but it is such
a lose-lose with you
because no matter what I do,
I just keep giving you
-the wrong impression!
-I'm not-- I'm not.
-I'm not trying to get back
together with you.
-But you are!
-[crying]
-Okay. I'm sorry.
Cassie, Cassie, I'm sorry.
[shakily breathing
and sniffling]
This is so much worse
than the attic now. I can't--
[crying] I'm sorry.
This has been so nice.
It's been really nice,
but I can't--
I can't-- I'm sorry.
[melancholic music]
-[door opens, closes]
-[sighs]
[sighs loudly]
["It Ain't Christmas (If I
Wake Up and I'm All Alone)"
by Katie Buxton playing]
Never thought
that I would be here
Looking back
on this time last year
Nobody holding me
No one to wait for
Nobody showing up for me
at my front door
I made a list of all
the things I've been wanting
A tender heart and eyes
that I can get lost in
Guess that I've been good
'cause you were waiting for me
Like a present
at the bottom of my chimney
Light my fire, take me home
It ain't Christmas
if I wake up and I'm all alone
Light the tree
We'll watch...
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
...any other places
that we gotta go
Oh, oh, oh
You guys are too much.
-Then go to bed, squirt.
-[Mia giggles]
Ooh, and Liz, put us
in your Vlog Christmas.
-It's just Vlogmas.
-[chuckling]
It ain't Christmas
if I wake up and I'm all alone
Do you feel
the way that I do
Like tonight was made
just for you
Everybody's sleeping
waiting for the morning
But my favorite part
is the quiet before it
Even "Jingle Bells"
feels so symphonic
Honey, you're
my holiday gin and tonic
I know what I want
is to be close to you
Just a simple
Christmas Eve for two
Light my fire, take me home
It ain't Christmas
if I wake up and I'm all alone
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
It ain't Christmas
if I wake up and I'm all alone
[light buzzing]
[soft clicks]
[gentle music]
[softly chuckles]
[softly chuckles]
[gentle Christmas carol playing]
[Kirby clears throat]
-[gasps and laughs]
-[chuckling]
-I love it!
-Thank you.
-You are sneaky
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!
You look so good!
-[Mia] Thank you, honey.
[laughing]
-Gordon!
-What? It's not my style.
-I bought you your size
and everything.
-[Gordon] Okay.
Hey, did you leave
a pair for Cassie?
-Yes.
-[shouts] Yeah!
I finally got it working.
You were supposed
to leave her alone.
-Come on.
-I bought them
before you broke up.
Well, that's already a stretch
to expecting her
to come down here
in the first place,
I don't wanna push it. And--
[gasps]
[chuckles]
So, why did you come down?
Well...
...I didn't wanna be
in my room all day on Christmas.
And whenever my family,
you know, whenever we fight,
we always just, you know,
bury the hatchet on Christmas.
-Like World War I.
-[chuckles]
And I promised Liz
that I would be in her video.
[laughing] Yes! You guys,
let's do it! Come on.
-Wait. Now?
-Before presents?
Well, yeah! Before it gets
all messy and you guys
all run off or something.
Ben, help me please.
-All right.
Let's get it over with.
-Presents!
Come on, guys.
-[Kirby] All right.
-[Gordon] I don't wanna do this.
-[cross talk]
-["It's a Myth" by Psychic Twin]
-Where are you, Liz?
-Guys-- I'm here!
-Okay.
-Five, six,
five, six, seven, eight.
Closure... is a myth
You can't tie
your loose ends
Into it
-If forgiveness
is what you're searching for
-[cheering]
Baby
[Kirby chuckles]
The suspense.
-You guys! Thank you!
-[Mia chuckles]
You're welcome.
-Okay. Hey, will you grab me
that one over there?
-Yeah.
[Mia]
Thank you.
This one is for Cassie.
-Hey, what?
-[Mia chuckles]
-Thank you.
I was not expecting this.
-You're welcome.
[soft rustling]
-Oh, my gosh!
-We knew you like to bake, so...
This is so thoughtful.
-Really, thank you.
-My pleasure.
I have a few gifts for everyone.
[chuckles]
Okay, let's see here.
For Kirby.
-Oh! Thank you.
-[Cassie chuckles]
[paper rustling]
-Oh. Oh!
-[laughs]
-Look at that!
-[laughter]
I thought I saw you
in the hobby store yesterday.
I know, I had to duck
in and out superfast
so that you wouldn't see me,
but I guess--
Okay, Gordon.
[deeply exhales]
[loud rustling]
-[all chuckling]
-[Mia] Oh...
[sighs]
-All right. Well, thank you.
-[laughter]
-Hey, you never know.
-Everybody's full
of surprises today.
[laughter]
[gasps] Ooh! Mm!
-[softly] No.
-[Mia laughs]
Oh, my gosh! Cassie! Oh!
-Thank you!
-You're welcome.
-[Liz] I love it.
-[Mia] Mmm.
-Okay. And Mia. For you.
-[Mia] Oh.
-And I kind of cheated
on this, but--
-Okay.
-[Mia laughing]
-[Cassie] The numbers were
in your cup holder,
but I did have to go
to the store to get
the glue you need.
-Oh! Making me look bad.
-[laughter]
-Thank you. That's awesome.
-Welcome.
-[gentle music]
-[Ben softly chuckles]
It's like
your blueprints, right?
Yes. Yeah, thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, I guess that's everything.
Okay, well, then who's ready
for cinnamon rolls?
-Me!
-Actually, wait, I have, um,
I have one final surprise...
-[Liz softly] Oh.
-...for Cassie.
Oh.
Well, where is it? [chuckles]
Uh, well, we have to go outside.
Okay.
[birds chirping]
[Ben sighs]
-A car?
-[laughing] A ren--
a rental, a rental car.
Um... Uh, not only that,
it has snow tires.
The roads are scheduled
to be clear all afternoon
and, uh, no traffic. Christmas.
You can take it to Portland.
[sighs]
Or tonight, at 10:10 p.m.,
you have an overnight
direct flight to Chicago.
[music continues]
[deeply inhales] And Sara's
picking you up from O'Hare.
[keys clinking]
And you'll be home
before you know it.
[shakily] H-- how?
Well, I, um... [sighs]
It's Christmas.
[clinking]
I thought those baking trays
were a gift for yourself.
Yeah, well,
someone wanted it more.
-You're sweet.
-Oh!
She's on the phone
with her family right now,
and she'll be headed out
as soon as she's done packing.
[Liz]
No! No, no, no,
this is not right.
-Wait, wait. Stop! [sighs]
-Cassie!
-Cassie!
-[Cassie] Yeah?
[panting]
We're getting lunch downstairs.
Oh! Okay. Well, I'm just--
I'm just finishing
a few things, so--
Wait, you've got
a ton of time now,
just come eat with us.
Uh...
This is my grand finale
to EX-mas.
EX-mas?
Yeah, EX-mas, with an "E-X."
-[laughs] It's what I'm gonna
call it this year.
-Mm.
[gentle music]
Mm-hmm. That's funny.
Okay. Let's go.
-Yeah! [laughing]
-I'll eat. That's clever.
Let's go. [laughs]
[Gordon]
You know, just people post
pictures of their large pets.
-Oh!
-[laughter, cross talk]
That was... what?
-What? Their large pets. Like--
-[Kirby] Pets, like, a dog?
-Yeah.
-[cross talk, laughter]
[Liz]
...would go with the hump.
-No-- hey-- no one is looking--
-Is that, like,
-a song or anything?
-[Liz] No. No, it was just--
[indistinct chatter]
[Liz]
Here you have it, fam!
We made it to Vlogmas Day 25.
It's not Christmas
without a couple of surprises.
Even when my brother manages
to pull a flex,
he, yeah, still kills the vibe.
And this will be
my last episode.
I'm not Canadian,
so no Boxing Day,
but I will be back next year
with a semester worth
of new psych definitions
and... [softly]
relationship tips.
[in normal voice]
That's all I got for you.
Ciao for now.
And adieu to you.
-[Mia] Did you check
the weather?
-[Cassie] Yes.
-Nothing is closed.
-Don't drive past
the speed limit.
-Promise me, okay? Okay.
-I promise I won't.
[Kirby]
Have you driven on the ice?
But you must have driven
-on the ice in Chicago.
-A few times.
[Kirby]
Okay. You'll be all right.
-Well...
-I packed you
some goodies for the road.
Oh! You're so sweet, thank you.
Um, lunch was wonderful,
and, um, uh, truly, guys,
thank you for, you know...
...making...
[sighing] this work.
-You've been great.
-You're so welcome.
We're gonna miss you!
-I know,
it's been fun. [chuckles]
-We'll see you later.
-I mean--
-It's okay, it's okay.
Oh! Evan texted me back, so...
-Hey! [whispers] Good luck!
-Thanks.
-Gordon.
-[Gordon] What?
-Cassie's leaving.
-[Gordon groans]
Okay. Bye, Cassie.
Thanks for the book.
-Don't forget about me.
-[Cassie] No.
-Well, you're welcome,
Gordon. Bye.
-[Gordon] Peace.
All right. So, you'll text Ben
when you get to Portland?
-Yes.
-Okay.
-Drive safe.
-I will. Thank you.
-Okay.
-Bye.
Bye.
-Mm.
-[deeply exhales]
-Okay. You made it.
-[exhales]
Well, I'll feel that way
once I'm in Portland.
Sure. [softly] Yeah.
Um...
Well, enjoy your family time.
-You too.
-[chuckles]
[light upbeat music]
Thank you.
[birds chirping]
For Christmas and... for this.
You're welcome.
[sighs]
[Cassie]
All right.
Oh, the souls
are full of holes
No one gets out alive
There's nothing to do
just going through
Everybody knows you try
Everybody knows you try
[singer humming]
I'll drive you home
-You do the rest
-[engine starts]
Don't know
if I'll see you again
But I'm wishing you the best
Wishing you the best
[singer humming]
[sighs] I'll, uh,
go do the sheets.
When it don't work out
When it falls apart
[Mia]
Kirb, are those Cassie's keys?
[Kirby shouting]
Hey! Hey! Cassie!
-[distant shouting]
Cassie! Cassie!
-[singer humming]
-[panting]
-Mr. Russell?
Kirby.
-You left your house keys
in the Christmas wreckage.
-Oh, my God.
-Thank you.
That would've been a nightmare.
-You got it.
When you go down the hill,
stay in first gear.
It's steeper than it looks,
this car can do that.
-Okay, I will.
-[panting]
You're a good kid,
Cassie. Good luck.
[knocks car]
[gentle music]
[men vocalizing]
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
[Ben]
I thought that,
since I still had
some books of hers
or she still had
some clothes of mine,
that we'd have to see
each other again.
Then I thought
we'd bump into each other,
we have mutual friends in LA,
but the lines were
pretty cleanly divided.
Then, last thing that was left
was social media.
But seeing her on it would make
the blood rush to my head,
so I had to remove her
and a few of her friends.
Then she was really gone.
So...
[deeply inhales
and sharply exhales]
...closure?
Yeah. Forget it.
Except you can't... forget it,
so you sort of just learn
to live with it.
The only way through it is time.
He told me that.
[gentle music resumes]
[crying and sobbing]
Well, that doesn't make me
feel any better.
Can't you just say that Evan
is an asshole or something?
-Evan's an asshole.
-Thank you.
Weird guy.
Remind me of a cursed doll.
Okay. That's good.
Okay. I'm out.
Text me if you're
still feeling crazy, okay?
-Leaving already?
-Gotta let the dog out.
Oh, look at you, Mr. Adulting.
-[mimics gunshots]
Miss a flight.
-[laughs]
I'll see you when I see you.
Or whatever.
-Yeah, later, dude.
-[Gordon] You can miss
a flight too, by the way.
-Love you, guys.
-[Liz laughs]
Okay. Um,
I'm gonna go for a walk.
-You good?
-[deeply inhales and exhales]
-I guess.
-[chuckles] Yeah,
that sounds about right.
Well, I see you at dinner?
Yeah. Yeah.
-On board.
-[chuckles]
[deeply inhales and exhales]
[birds chirping]
[deeply inhales and exhales]
[gentle music]
-["Fences" by Bag of Hammers]
-Without you
Oh
Been holding on
for way too long
And come to my senses
Now, what I want
is to move on from
Where I've been living
on fences
The way you treat me
I believe I was unlovable
But looking back
I can't believe
I was so dumb though
I'm running back
holding myself
I know it's where
I'll be treated well
So enough is enough
I'm moving on with my love
Without you
Without you
Packing my bags
ain't looking back
Gotta focus on healing
Never gonna let
anyone else belittle
every one of my feelings
Your denial, cool smile
Not gonna let you get me down
again with the pain
I've been dealing
I'm feeling worse
than I've ever felt
Don't think of me
and treat it that way
Now there's no love left
where we fell
And I hate your guts
but I wish you well
That's the truth
That's the truth
That's the truth
Oh
Without you
Oh
Without you
Oh
Oh
[birds chirping]