Broken Flowers (2005) Movie Script
Did you ever meet Don Juan?
Never. Not once!
Then why are you in mourning?
Because I've never met him.
It's amazing. I had no idea
my own funeral could be so delightful.
It certainly brought your career
to a happy end.
End?
Leave off while they still
think of you as you were.
All these wrinkles,
these lines, these gray hairs.
You'd spoil any party,
even a funeral.
No, no, no, my friend.
This is a great sight.
Women and women and women.
The eternal hunger
of women for love.
I pretty much
have all my stuff.
Looks like you got a love letter
from one of your other girlfriends.
I don't have
any other girlfriend, Sherry.
Come on!
All right. I get it.
No, you don't.
But it's okay.
That's the way you are.
You're never going to change.
I just don't think
I want to be with an-
an over-the-hill Don Juan
anymore.
What do you want, Sherry?
What do you want, Don?
I mean, I'm like your mistress,
except you're not even married.
L-Look at your friend Winston
next door.
It looks like
they're having a great time.
Don't you ever want
to have a family?
Well, is that what you want?
I don't know what I want,
but I just want to figure it out
by myself.
By yourself.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll call you sometime.
Sherry?
What are you but a female?
Same as you!
Nobody asked you.
He never kissed you.
It was an impudent lie!
Yes, it was a lie.
Don Juan told me so himself.
It was only publicity.
He did not!
Don't you-
And who are you to give orders here?
Who am I?
Don Juan said I was the girl
whose kiss he'd been seeking
on a thousand women's lips!
I was the only one. He'd never love
anybody else in his life!
Ha! He loved you so much that he went
straight from you to another woman.
He loved me!
And loathed young women like you.
Cat!
Cow!
Snake!
Pig!
Goat!
Weasel!
Worm!
No, no, no, no!
Yeah?
Hey, Winston.
You at work?
It's Saturday. Of course. Yeah.
No, I just got up.
What, you can't access the site?
Yeah. All right. I'll be right over.
Yes. Coffee would be good.
Will it be a cup
of Ethiopian coffee?
Okay.
Good morning.
Morning, Don!
Hey, you two.
Keep your eyes on the Cheerios.
How's the sweetest grape
on the vine?
I'm good.
Winston is in the back,
on his computer,
in his office.
Irie.
Thank you, Don.
What's up, Winston?
Hey, Don. Listen.
I can't seem to access this site.
l-I need your computer expertise.
Yeah? What is it?
It's like a whole system
for breaking down the plots
of detective fiction...
or the solution of crimes.
Y- Click.
Yes. You see?
And click. I tried before.
Stay calm.
Click. Uh-
Go get 'em, Sherlock.
Cool, cool, cool.
Oh, this is my kind
of information, man.
I love the Net.
The whole world of information-
through the wall, click.
You sure you don't want
a computer at your house?
No.
Seems awful strange to me.
A man who made all of his money
off of computers doesn't want
to have one in his house.
Oh!
Cool. Cool.
This is fascinating.
Supposedly, you can use this
to write a mystery novel...
or to solve
a complicated crime.
If-
Don.
You all right?
What?
Is something wrong?
Well, it's probably nothing.
Uh, a love letter
from one of your lovely ladies.
Something like that.
I'll read it to you.
"Dear Don, sometimes life
brings some strange surprises.
"It's been almost 20 years
since we've seen each other,
"but now there's something
I need to tell you.
"Years ago, after our story ended,
"I discovered I was pregnant.
"I decided to go through
with the pregnancy,
and I had a baby, a son.
"Your son.
"I decided to raise him by myself
because our time together...
"had come to a close.
"My son is now almost 19.
"He's somewhat shy and secretive,
unlike you,
"but a sensitive, wonderful person.
"A few days ago he left
on a mysterious road trip,
"but I'm almost certain
he's searching for his father.
"I've told him almost nothing about you,
"but he's resourceful and imaginative.
"Anyway, if this is, in fact,
your correct address,
well, I just felt
I should let you know."
There's no signature...
and no return address.
Hey, congratulations!
You're a father.
Uh, you're really upset by this.
C-Can I see it?
Your address is handwritten,
but printed.
Red ink on pink paper.
Typewriter.
A red ribbon. Curious.
"Dear Don, sometimes"-
Hmm.
Damn. This postmark
is too faint to read.
That's fucked up.
Tsk-tsk.
And you have no idea
who this is from?
Nope.
None.
But from all I know,
you are like, uh-
like Don Juan or something.
Don Juan.
I gotta go.
You want me to keep the letter
for forensic evidence or... clues?
Or- Don.
Hmm.
Hey, it's me.
I see that.
It's kind of lonely in here, man.
Do you mind?
Is Sherry coming home?
No.
She left.
What do you mean, "She left"?
She went on a trip?
No. I mean, she left.
Sorry, man.
Yeah, me too. I think.
Well, but knowing Sherry,
she probably hasn't played
her last card yet. Right?
Probably not.
Anyway, you've never had trouble
finding interesting females.
I mean, uh, that's the way your life
has been though. Right?
You're like, uh- like Don Juan.
Winston, please stop saying that.
Hey.
About this letter-
I did examine the postmark
under my microscope.
And it is too faint to read,
but the stamp-
it's got on it a woodpecker.
What does that mean to you?
Anything?
Well, what I think we should do...
is to narrow down the possibilities.
Winston, this is probably
someone playing a joke on me.
If not, then...
whatever.
It seems so unfair-
someone to write a letter like this...
and-and-and not sign it?
Don't you want to know
who is the mother of your son?
My hypothetical son?
No, Winston.
I don't, okay?
Okay.
Then we can just drop it.
We can?
We can, of course. Okay.
Good.
It's dropped.
But then how can you ignore
something like this?
- You need to treat this as a sign.
- What kind of sign?
Of the direction of your life.
Of this present moment.
You need to solve this mystery...
and find out which of your women it was
that you impregnated with your semen
Winston.
What happened to
that groovin' CD I burned for you?
Here it is. Do you mind?
Ah, that's nice.
Ethiopian sounds.
It's good for the heart.
Look, come over tomorrow
for, uh, Sunday brunch,
and, uh, we'll talk a little further
about our investigative plan, huh?
So I'll leave that right there.
Go home
and leave me alone.
Okay, man. I love you too.
I think your father's real name
is Sam Spade.
My father isn't Sam Spade.
No? Think he's Sherlock Holmes?
No.
Well, I know he's one
of those famous detectives.
Mike Hammer!
No, not Mike Hammer.
Oh, I know.
He's that Dolemite guy. Right?
No, not Dolemite.
No?
He's down.
Keep your eyes open.
He may be Dolemite.
No!
Mona,
thank you.
That was so delicious.
You're welcome. Anytime.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
What time's dinner?
You are the most perfect woman
in the world.
Hey, hey, hey.
Let me tell you something.
That's mine.
Come, come, come.
No cigarettes.
That's where you get
your appetite.
Your woman cooks too good.
I'd like to look
at that pink letter again.
Let me see it.
I burned it last night-
microwave.
Yes, little Rita?
Papa, you're smoking again.
No, no, no. This is just herbs.
It's just a little Cheeba. Hmm?
Let me see that.
He's right.
It's just cannabis sativa.
You see?
Just a little indigo, baby.
'Cause Mama says,
"No more smoking tobacco anymore."
Yeah, I know.
I gave it up.
Never!
Never!
No more tobacco. I promise.
Okay.
Come, come, come, come.
Let me see this mysterious pink letter.
Okay. What you have to
do for me is make a list.
A list.
I need the possibilities
of who the mother might be.
You give me a list
of all your girlfriends
from back then,
and then I can plan everything.
Uh, I think I'm going home,
Sherlock.
Just destroy that letter
when you're through with it,
will you?
Work on that list.
Hello, Winston?
What list?
No, haven't even thought about it.
Are you on a cell phone?
Yeah. Is it okay if I run in
and grab that list?
Sure. Why not?
Great. Hold on a second.
Any other info
on where they might be?
Not really.
That's where they lived
or their families lived.
That's all I can remember.
Good. Cool.
Okay. Sorry about that.
It's okay.
Look, man. I'm all over this.
The day after tomorrow,
I'll have everything ready.
Knock yourself out.
Don, man,
my lunch break's almost over.
Sorry. What's up?
Look, I got all the info right here,
based on your list,
plus the whole plan.
You got addresses,
married names,
in some cases even their jobs.
I've got some sad news though.
What?
That girl named Michelle Pepe?
She died in a car accident...
five years ago.
I found the name of the cemetery
where she-well, where she is.
Little Michelle Pepe?
Yeah. I'm sorry.
But the other four-
I got all their info.
Well, that's...
very impressive, Winston.
I really don't know
why you did all of this.
What am I supposed to do about it?
Look, your whole trip-
it's all planned.
Booked reservations, rental cars.
Everything you need.
- All you have to do
is give them the credit card.
- What are you talking about?
You go visit them.
You go to their houses.
You see them.
You bring flowers, pink flowers.
You're just checking in.
Just checking in.
I even got maps.
Everything you need.
And I burned you a new CD, see?
That's traveling music.
That I'll take.
Uh, just coffee, please, Avis.
Thank you.
A few tips though.
Dress conservative, a little classy.
Don't give anything away.
And always, always bring flowers.
Pink flowers.
And look for clues about your son-
photographs, anything.
Or hints, like pink stationery
and red ink.
Handwriting, if possible.
And find that typewriter.
Bring me that typewriter,
and then I can forensically
match the type...
to the letter.
You're insane, Winston.
Even if you could possibly
rope me into this nonsense,
which you can't,
I'm not a detective,
I'm not a private eye
in one of your crime novels.
Forget it. No fuckin' way.
What, after all the work I've done?
Well, you do it.
You take the trip.
I'll pay for it.
Me? Impossible.
I've got three jobs and five kids.
And, besides, it's your life.
I've merely prepared the strategy.
But only you can solve the mystery.
And why is that?
Because you understand women.
Let me ask you something.
Suppose I took
this ridiculous trip,
and say this kid really exists,
and he shows up...
while I'm gone.
Don, don't worry.
I'll monitor your house every day.
Yeah? Then what?
What do you do?
If he shows up?
He shows up.
Don't worry.
I apprehend him.
Oh, okay. Great.
You apprehend him.
Look, I've got seven minutes
before I'm due to punch in.
Tomorrow morning,
on my way to the plant,
I will drop you at the airport.
No problem.
I got you an early flight.
It's not gonna happen.
No way.
I'll pick you up tomorrow morning
at 7:00 a.m. sharp.
My mom won't let me wear a bikini.
I can't believe your mom
let you come on this trip.
Oh, she doesn't know.
I mean, she knows, but she thinks
that I'm with your family.
No, she wouldn't have let me come,
and you would have been
totally mad at me.
What if she calls my mom?
She's not gonna call her.
She thinks that she's here.
See, it's perfect.
No, it'll be fine. Don't worry.
Wait, wait, wait. What?
Don't even worry about it.
Do I need to call my mom? 'Cause
my mom will totally lie for you.
I want to go to the party tonight,
and I really want to be able
to meet some cute guys.
That guy is so cute
that's sitting behind me.
Can you see him?
Oh, my God.
He's really cute though.
Don't stare at him.
He is cute.
He looks like a supermodel.
No, he looks like the Calvin Klein model
that's on the side of the bus.
Oh, my gosh. He's so cool.
He's totally staring at us right now.
Think Ally will take us to get something
to eat before we go? I'm starving!
That's why you need
the mix-and-match
for when you get fat.
Oh, my God. I know!
We're such heifers.
You get the bigger sizes.
I look so fat.
Doughnut girl.
Look for clues,
like a typewriter,
like something pink.
This will be very easy.
Hi, Laura. It's me, Don.
Remember me?
Hi. Who are you?
Don Johnston.
Really?
You're Don Johnson?
Yeah- No.
Johnston with a "T."
Oh.
Uh, does Laura Daniels,
who was formerly Laura Miller,
live here?
Yeah. That's my mom.
Well, I'm a very old friend of hers,
and I haven't seen her
in, um, in over-
Well, come on in.
So, my howll be home from work soon,
so just sit down. Here.
Make yourself comfortable.
So, my name's Lola.
Well, sometimes people call me Lo,
but my really real name is Lolita.
Lolita?
Yeah.
Well, l-I don't-
Do you want something?
'Cause we've got Popsicles.
- No, thanks.
- Okay.
Lolita.
Yeah?
Do you have
any brothers or sisters?
Why?
Do you think I need some?
Oh, wait, that's my phone.
Just-Just stay there.
I'll be right back, okay?
Okay.
That's so crazy.
Really?
That's so sick.
He didn't. Wait. Hold on.
My cell phone's ringing. Hello?
Yeah. I know. I just talked to her.
That's crazy, right?
I know.
Can I help you with something?
Donny, is that you?
Hey, Laura.
What are you doing here?
We're having chicken for dinner.
That was quite an outfit
you weren't wearing earlier.
Well, here we are.
Then Larry exploded
in a ball of flames at the track.
That happened,
and now it's just me and Lo.
It was even on TV.
I'm sorry.
Lo, your head looks
just like a pineapple.
- Mom!
- Doesn't it?
Yeah, it does look like a pineapple.
So, what, uh-
Where do you work?
Oh, Mom has her own business.
Right?
Yeah.
Really?
I'm a professional
closet organizer.
Come on.
No, I organize people's closets.
I even do their drawers.
I label everything.
I get them all organized.
I even color coordinate them.
Yeah.
And they pay her for that.
It's amazing.
- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Lolita, I said you- Lolita!
I said you could have a taste.
Now, come on.
That's enough of that.
That's not cool.
Lolita. Interesting choice
of name, Laura.
What?
So, Donny, I heard you made it big
in business a few years ago?
What are you into?
It was computers.
Oh, high-tech stuff.
More high tech
than pencils, I guess.
Mr. Fancy Pants!
Yeah, my pants are fancy.
So what?
So I see you're having
a yard sale?
Uh, you got me.
It's something we do
on Saturdays.
Yeah, Larry had all this crap
in the garage, and-
And then I got this neighbor
to paint a sign for us.
It's fun.
Are you gonna be selling
any old, uh, typewriters?
No.
Wh-
That's so 20th century.
Did you come all the way down here
to get a typewriter, Don?
What do you want a typewriter for?
An old friend asked me
if I would look around
for a typewriter.
So... I just remembered it.
Well-
You know,
I forgot to make dessert.
Oh, Don doesn't like Popsicles.
Donny.
What are you doing here?
I was just looking
for a typewriter.
Oh.
I remember.
Bye.
Hey.
Bye, Don.
Good-bye, Laura.
Come back sometime.
See you, Laura.
Lo! Go.
Put some clothes on.
Can I help you?
Dora?
Yes.
It's me, Don.
Remember me?
Oh, Don!
What-What are you doing here?
I brought these flowers.
So beautiful.
Wanna come in?
So,
what brings you out here?
Well, I was kind of in the area,
so I thought I'd drop in.
I see.
How- How did you
track me down, exactly?
Uh, on the computer.
They can do anything.
Nice place you've got here.
Oh, thank you.
It's a nice example.
My husband and I
are in real estate.
We sell landscape lots...
and preconstructed designer homes.
Or do you already have this information
from your computer?
No.
Your card is pink.
Yes.
Ron, my husband, thought it would be cute
if mine were pink and his blue.
I like those pearls.
Did I give you those?
I don't think so.
I should have.
It's very strange,
your showing up like this.
Yeah, it is strange.
It's my husband.
Hey! Where's my perfect little wi-
Well, what have we here?
Hi. Don Johnston.
I'm a really old
friend of Dora's.
Oh.
You don't look really old.
Just kinda old.
I'm Ron.
Don Johnston.
Mm-hmm.
That's an old flame of yours,
right, honey?
Don just dropped in
completely unexpectedly.
Wow! Nice to meet you, Don.
Ron and Don.
Hey, uh, is Don gonna stay
for dinner? I hope.
No. I really couldn't.
Well, sure you could.
Right? Honey?
Computers, huh? Wow.
That's gotta be a lucrative field.
Yeah, I've done pretty well.
Hmm. Well, the real estate biz
has been very good to us.
Right, hon?
At first I had the idea
of going into bottled water.
I think in the near future,
water will be worth more
than oil or gold.
Yeah. You're dying of thirst,
you can't take a swig of oil.
Right?
Or gold, for that matter.
Boy, you are certainly
right about that.
But for right now,
we decided that real estate
and quality prefab homes...
was the right way to go.
And it has been
quite lucrative.
Hon, those are
beautiful flowers.
Mmm.
Hey!
Don, I want to
show you something.
Excuse me.
Isn't this
the coolest photo?
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah?
This is crazy, right?
My straight little Dora.
My adorable little Dora.
Mmm.
Young hippie chick.
That is great, Ron.
Now, could you please
put it back?
Sorry, baby.
Probably brings back
one or two memories, huh, Don?
I took that photo,
didn't I?
Mm-hmm.
Well, you know, it's strange...
how people's lives change,
isn't it?
So, any kids?
Well, that's-
that's kind of a touchy subject.
See, I always wanted
to have kids with Dora.
You know,
I mean, kids of our own.
But she didn't, really,
so I respect that.
Oh, I don't know if I would have
had the time and patience
to be a good mother...
to- to Ron's children.
I'm just happy to have my Dora.
What about you, Don?
You married?
No, I'm still a bachelor.
A bachelor?
Wow.
But any kids?
He said he was still
a bachelor.
Well, honey, you know-
You never know.
One or two could have gotten away.
No. No kids I know of.
Hello, Winston.
Just a crazy guess.
Look, I don't know
what I'm doing up here.
I'm gettin' nowhere.
Yeah, I saw her.
Yeah, I saw her too.
Yesterday.
No. No clues.
No typewriters.
Couldn't you have rented me,
like, a Porsche or some car
that I might really drive?
I'm a stalker in a Taurus.
I have done everything
that you wanted me to do, you know.
l-l-I've really had enough of this.
I think I oughta go back today.
Yeah, but l- I don't-
I don't think I wanna see her.
No, Winston-
Winston, let me-
let me talk to you later, okay?
Can I just-Yeah.
Let me talk to you later.
Please?
Okay? Thanks.
I'll talk to you in a while.
Okay?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're now on our final descent.
Please return to your seats
and make sure your seat belts
are securely fastened. Thank you.
I heard what you said.
And I heard
what Dr. Markowski said.
You have to believe
in yourself.
I have a lot of respect for you.
I understand how you feel.
I understand, and I'll try
to do better next time.
Hi.
It takes a lot of courage
to say what you said.
I'm very proud of you.
And I want you to know that
I think you're doing very, very well...
and I believe in you.
Yeah, she definitely
speaks to iguanas.
Okay. That's right.
Call back on Monday
and we'll happily schedule you and Iggy.
Sure.
Mm-kay. Thank you.
I'm sorry, Mr. Johnston,
but Dr. Markowski
only takes appointments,
and she's in a session
right now.
Is your animal friend
with you?
Uh, no, l-l-I don't have
an animal friend.
I'm an old friend of Carm-
uh, Dr. Markowski's.
Um, Carmen has
a really tight schedule.
She may have a minute,
if you want to sit down.
Yeah, okay.
No, no, no.
Of course I won't forget you, Cleo.
Yes, I promise.
Thank you,
Dr. Markowski.
Mm-hmm.
- Bye now.
- Bye, Cleo.
See you next week,
Mrs. Dorston.
So, what do we have next?
Don?
So, you're an animal psychic?
No.
I'm a communicator.
And you're a doctor now?
Mmm.
When we were together,
you were so passionate
about becoming a lawyer.
I mean, you were...
very passionate.
Yeah, well,
passion's a funny thing.
I have a doctorate
in animal behavior.
But that was
sort of after the fact.
It's an odd story.
I'm getting into odd stories.
Well, I was a very successful lawyer.
I had no life, though,
outside my work,
except for my dog,
Winston.
Your dog's named Winston?
Yes.
But then he died...
suddenly.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
It was, uh-
It was years ago.
But my new ability was this gift.
This gift from Winston.
All right,
you can come in again.
Anyway,
after Winston died
I got this gift.
To-
To read animals' minds?
No. I told you-
- No.
- I'm a communicator.
You see,
soon after Winston died...
I realized that I could
hear animals speak to me.
I mean, I certainly hadn't
been aware of that before.
And I don't
read animals' minds.
But when they want
to communicate,
I can hear them.
You know,
like you and I are talking.
But we don't
read each other's minds.
Is he saying something?
He says
you have a hidden agenda.
He- He said that?
I think you'd better
go back outside now, Ramon.
Animals can tell us
what they want,
but that doesn't mean
that that's what's best for them.
Yes?
Excuse me, Carmen,
but Mr. Renaldo and Skippy
are here for your next session.
Oh. Okay.
Um, give me
one more minute.
Sorry, Don, but I really
can't keep Skippy waiting.
Do you think you could tell Skippy
that you're just gonna walk me to my car?
How about later?
Wanna get a drink?
No. I don't drink.
Maybe get something to eat?
I don't, uh, eat.
You don't?
Uh, take a walk?
I know you walk.
I don't feel like it.
Do you have a typewriter?
A typewriter?
Are you married?
You know, I think you
should probably go now.
Oh, come on, Carmen.
Can't you answer me?
No.
"No," you won't answer me?
No, I'm not married.
I was though.
Any kids?
Yes.
I have a daughter, Lianna.
She's 16.
She's in Sweden.
Sweden.
Am I supposed to ask
about you?
It seems like I've told you
my whole life story.
So-
Me? No.
I'm not married.
Of course you aren't.
And I don't have any kids.
Do I?
How would I know that?
Sorry, Carmen, but Mr. Renaldo
and Skippy have been waiting
in the session room.
I know. I'm sorry.
I'll be right there.
Okay.
Well, my time is really up.
So, good-bye.
Bye, Carmen.
Mr. Johnston?
You forgot your flowers.
Hey. Excuse me!
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Uh, do you know
where Atwood Road is?
I'm lost.
Oh!
Hey.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
Can I help you?
Does Penny live here?
Who's askin'?
I'm an old friend of Penny's.
Don. Don Johnston.
She's in the house.
Go around there. A screen door.
Thanks.
Penny?
Hello?
- Penny?
- Yeah?
Donny.
So, what the fuck
do you want, Donny?
Oh, I just thought I'd drop by.
Just checking in.
Well, I don't remember
any happy ending
between us, Don.
No... reconciliation,
nothing.
You left me, Penny.
Remember?
Yeah.
Very clearly.
So, what is it you wanted?
Everything okay over there, Pen?
Not sure yet!
Goddamn it.
What is it you wanted?
Penny, do you-
Do you have a son?
Fuck you, Donny!
Danny, grab that fucker.
Penny!
Shut up.
I didn't say anything.
What the hell's
your fuckin' problem?
I was just leaving.
No, what are you doing
upsetting Penny like that, huh?
I just needed to ask her a question.
Yeah, I know
you asked her a question.
Now, listen.
I just don't think
it's very sensitive of you...
comin' out here
to try to hurt Penny's feelings,
you know,
to get back at her or whatever.
That just seems so rude.
You said all pink, right?
It's best that they're all pink, yeah.
Oh, you're very good
at this.
That's beautiful.
Thanks.
Are you okay?
Uh, it was just
a minor misunderstanding.
Mind if I take a look?
Oh. That's nasty.
Did you even wash it?
Sort of.
Let me take care of it.
What's your name?
Sun. Sun Green.
Sun Green?
Perfect.
What's yours?
Don.
Don Johnston.
Really?
Don Johnson?
Johnston.
With a "T."
So...
if I continue down this road,
I will find
the Riverview Cemetery?
Yeah. You just go down the hill.
You'll see the entrance on your right.
Thank you, Sun Green.
You're welcome.
Hello, beautiful.
Red ink on pink paper.
I don't know what I want.
He says you have a hidden agenda.
Fuck you, Donny.
Circle Drive, please.
No rush.
The wheel of fortune turns.
Round and round it goes.
Where it stops, no one knows.
Boy.
That's my report,
Sherlock.
The general outline
of what you put me through.
That's it?
And after all that,
you're still no closer to knowing
who's the mother of your son?
That's right.
But there was
that one typewriter.
And the pink motorcycle.
And it was Dora's pink,
uh, business card.
And-And-And Laura's
pink bathrobe.
I think this whole thing
is a farce, a fiasco.
As far as I know,
you may have written
that letter to me.
Look, I'm really sorry
that you got beat up and everything.
l-l-l-I feel that
it was somehow my fault.
It was.
Kind of strange, too, how, uh,
Carmen's magic dog
was named Winston.
Yeah-
Look, man, I really put
a lot of work into this thing.
I thought that it was
really important that you know
whether or not you had a son.
I mean, it's your life.
You got to live your life, right?
I was living my life,
Winston.
I still am.
What's this?
It's pink.
It's a note
I found in my foyer
when I got back.
Red ink on pink paper.
It's from Sherry.
What? From Sherry?
Why didn't you tell me?
May I see it?
Envelope and paper
not exactly the same size.
You know, the handwriting...
seems pretty close
to the address on the envelope,
but I can't be sure.
Sherry still likes you.
You think that Sherry
could have sent the first letter...
and made the whole thing up
just to fuck with you?
Who knows?
You know, I've got to go.
I think I have just enough time
to stop home
and compare the handwriting...
and then hopefully
punch in at work on time.
You coming?
No.
I just need a little break
from all of this.
Look, don't worry.
We're still going to
solve this mystery.
Didn't I see you
at the airport last night?
I don't know.
Did you?
Yeah.
You on a road trip?
Yeah.
Something like that.
You look hungry.
Can I buy you a sandwich
or something?
Uh, no, that's okay.
You can relax.
I'm not gay. I'm not a cop.
Just a guy who sees a guy
who might need a sandwich.
Okay. Thanks.
But could you get something to go?
I'd sorta rather stay outside.
Sure.
How about a nice
club sandwich?
I'm vegetarian.
You eat cheese?
Yeah, sometimes.
l-I like cheese.
Okay, I got it.
I'll be right back.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey.
You found us a place.
All right.
Let's see here.
Big cheese and veggie sandwich...
with mushrooms.
Fries-
Mmm.
extra large.
Two waters.
Two coffees.
My mom put that there...
for good luck.
Thanks for the food.
Ahh.
No problem, chief.
You called me chief?
Yeah. Why?
What happened to your eye?
I, uh-
I ran into somebody.
Somebody's fist.
You a gangster?
No. I wish.
No, I was, uh-
I was in computers.
Computers and girls.
What about you, chief?
I'm interested
in, uh, philosophy.
Philosophy and girls.
Sounds pretty good.
Think so?
So, uh,
as just a guy
who gave another guy a sandwich,
you have any, like,
philosophical tips or anything...
for a guy on a kind of road trip?
You asking me?
Yeah.
Well-
The past is gone.
I know that.
The future...
isn't here yet,
whatever it's going to be.
So,
all there is is-
is this.
The present.
That's it.
Are you a Buddhist?
No. Are you?
Uh, I'm not sure yet.
I'm sorry that's the best
I have to offer at the moment.
No, I appreciate it.
I like what you said.
It's better than some, like,
fatherly-sounding bullshit.
Is that...
what your father's like?
Ah, that's not a good subject.
Hey, I gotta go, man.
I'm sorry.
Thanks again
for the sandwich and stuff.
Hold on a second.
Wait.
I know you think
that I'm your father, don't you?
What?
Just tell me.
You can talk to me, chief.
Man, you're fucked up.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. Wait!
Never. Not once!
Then why are you in mourning?
Because I've never met him.
It's amazing. I had no idea
my own funeral could be so delightful.
It certainly brought your career
to a happy end.
End?
Leave off while they still
think of you as you were.
All these wrinkles,
these lines, these gray hairs.
You'd spoil any party,
even a funeral.
No, no, no, my friend.
This is a great sight.
Women and women and women.
The eternal hunger
of women for love.
I pretty much
have all my stuff.
Looks like you got a love letter
from one of your other girlfriends.
I don't have
any other girlfriend, Sherry.
Come on!
All right. I get it.
No, you don't.
But it's okay.
That's the way you are.
You're never going to change.
I just don't think
I want to be with an-
an over-the-hill Don Juan
anymore.
What do you want, Sherry?
What do you want, Don?
I mean, I'm like your mistress,
except you're not even married.
L-Look at your friend Winston
next door.
It looks like
they're having a great time.
Don't you ever want
to have a family?
Well, is that what you want?
I don't know what I want,
but I just want to figure it out
by myself.
By yourself.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll call you sometime.
Sherry?
What are you but a female?
Same as you!
Nobody asked you.
He never kissed you.
It was an impudent lie!
Yes, it was a lie.
Don Juan told me so himself.
It was only publicity.
He did not!
Don't you-
And who are you to give orders here?
Who am I?
Don Juan said I was the girl
whose kiss he'd been seeking
on a thousand women's lips!
I was the only one. He'd never love
anybody else in his life!
Ha! He loved you so much that he went
straight from you to another woman.
He loved me!
And loathed young women like you.
Cat!
Cow!
Snake!
Pig!
Goat!
Weasel!
Worm!
No, no, no, no!
Yeah?
Hey, Winston.
You at work?
It's Saturday. Of course. Yeah.
No, I just got up.
What, you can't access the site?
Yeah. All right. I'll be right over.
Yes. Coffee would be good.
Will it be a cup
of Ethiopian coffee?
Okay.
Good morning.
Morning, Don!
Hey, you two.
Keep your eyes on the Cheerios.
How's the sweetest grape
on the vine?
I'm good.
Winston is in the back,
on his computer,
in his office.
Irie.
Thank you, Don.
What's up, Winston?
Hey, Don. Listen.
I can't seem to access this site.
l-I need your computer expertise.
Yeah? What is it?
It's like a whole system
for breaking down the plots
of detective fiction...
or the solution of crimes.
Y- Click.
Yes. You see?
And click. I tried before.
Stay calm.
Click. Uh-
Go get 'em, Sherlock.
Cool, cool, cool.
Oh, this is my kind
of information, man.
I love the Net.
The whole world of information-
through the wall, click.
You sure you don't want
a computer at your house?
No.
Seems awful strange to me.
A man who made all of his money
off of computers doesn't want
to have one in his house.
Oh!
Cool. Cool.
This is fascinating.
Supposedly, you can use this
to write a mystery novel...
or to solve
a complicated crime.
If-
Don.
You all right?
What?
Is something wrong?
Well, it's probably nothing.
Uh, a love letter
from one of your lovely ladies.
Something like that.
I'll read it to you.
"Dear Don, sometimes life
brings some strange surprises.
"It's been almost 20 years
since we've seen each other,
"but now there's something
I need to tell you.
"Years ago, after our story ended,
"I discovered I was pregnant.
"I decided to go through
with the pregnancy,
and I had a baby, a son.
"Your son.
"I decided to raise him by myself
because our time together...
"had come to a close.
"My son is now almost 19.
"He's somewhat shy and secretive,
unlike you,
"but a sensitive, wonderful person.
"A few days ago he left
on a mysterious road trip,
"but I'm almost certain
he's searching for his father.
"I've told him almost nothing about you,
"but he's resourceful and imaginative.
"Anyway, if this is, in fact,
your correct address,
well, I just felt
I should let you know."
There's no signature...
and no return address.
Hey, congratulations!
You're a father.
Uh, you're really upset by this.
C-Can I see it?
Your address is handwritten,
but printed.
Red ink on pink paper.
Typewriter.
A red ribbon. Curious.
"Dear Don, sometimes"-
Hmm.
Damn. This postmark
is too faint to read.
That's fucked up.
Tsk-tsk.
And you have no idea
who this is from?
Nope.
None.
But from all I know,
you are like, uh-
like Don Juan or something.
Don Juan.
I gotta go.
You want me to keep the letter
for forensic evidence or... clues?
Or- Don.
Hmm.
Hey, it's me.
I see that.
It's kind of lonely in here, man.
Do you mind?
Is Sherry coming home?
No.
She left.
What do you mean, "She left"?
She went on a trip?
No. I mean, she left.
Sorry, man.
Yeah, me too. I think.
Well, but knowing Sherry,
she probably hasn't played
her last card yet. Right?
Probably not.
Anyway, you've never had trouble
finding interesting females.
I mean, uh, that's the way your life
has been though. Right?
You're like, uh- like Don Juan.
Winston, please stop saying that.
Hey.
About this letter-
I did examine the postmark
under my microscope.
And it is too faint to read,
but the stamp-
it's got on it a woodpecker.
What does that mean to you?
Anything?
Well, what I think we should do...
is to narrow down the possibilities.
Winston, this is probably
someone playing a joke on me.
If not, then...
whatever.
It seems so unfair-
someone to write a letter like this...
and-and-and not sign it?
Don't you want to know
who is the mother of your son?
My hypothetical son?
No, Winston.
I don't, okay?
Okay.
Then we can just drop it.
We can?
We can, of course. Okay.
Good.
It's dropped.
But then how can you ignore
something like this?
- You need to treat this as a sign.
- What kind of sign?
Of the direction of your life.
Of this present moment.
You need to solve this mystery...
and find out which of your women it was
that you impregnated with your semen
Winston.
What happened to
that groovin' CD I burned for you?
Here it is. Do you mind?
Ah, that's nice.
Ethiopian sounds.
It's good for the heart.
Look, come over tomorrow
for, uh, Sunday brunch,
and, uh, we'll talk a little further
about our investigative plan, huh?
So I'll leave that right there.
Go home
and leave me alone.
Okay, man. I love you too.
I think your father's real name
is Sam Spade.
My father isn't Sam Spade.
No? Think he's Sherlock Holmes?
No.
Well, I know he's one
of those famous detectives.
Mike Hammer!
No, not Mike Hammer.
Oh, I know.
He's that Dolemite guy. Right?
No, not Dolemite.
No?
He's down.
Keep your eyes open.
He may be Dolemite.
No!
Mona,
thank you.
That was so delicious.
You're welcome. Anytime.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
What time's dinner?
You are the most perfect woman
in the world.
Hey, hey, hey.
Let me tell you something.
That's mine.
Come, come, come.
No cigarettes.
That's where you get
your appetite.
Your woman cooks too good.
I'd like to look
at that pink letter again.
Let me see it.
I burned it last night-
microwave.
Yes, little Rita?
Papa, you're smoking again.
No, no, no. This is just herbs.
It's just a little Cheeba. Hmm?
Let me see that.
He's right.
It's just cannabis sativa.
You see?
Just a little indigo, baby.
'Cause Mama says,
"No more smoking tobacco anymore."
Yeah, I know.
I gave it up.
Never!
Never!
No more tobacco. I promise.
Okay.
Come, come, come, come.
Let me see this mysterious pink letter.
Okay. What you have to
do for me is make a list.
A list.
I need the possibilities
of who the mother might be.
You give me a list
of all your girlfriends
from back then,
and then I can plan everything.
Uh, I think I'm going home,
Sherlock.
Just destroy that letter
when you're through with it,
will you?
Work on that list.
Hello, Winston?
What list?
No, haven't even thought about it.
Are you on a cell phone?
Yeah. Is it okay if I run in
and grab that list?
Sure. Why not?
Great. Hold on a second.
Any other info
on where they might be?
Not really.
That's where they lived
or their families lived.
That's all I can remember.
Good. Cool.
Okay. Sorry about that.
It's okay.
Look, man. I'm all over this.
The day after tomorrow,
I'll have everything ready.
Knock yourself out.
Don, man,
my lunch break's almost over.
Sorry. What's up?
Look, I got all the info right here,
based on your list,
plus the whole plan.
You got addresses,
married names,
in some cases even their jobs.
I've got some sad news though.
What?
That girl named Michelle Pepe?
She died in a car accident...
five years ago.
I found the name of the cemetery
where she-well, where she is.
Little Michelle Pepe?
Yeah. I'm sorry.
But the other four-
I got all their info.
Well, that's...
very impressive, Winston.
I really don't know
why you did all of this.
What am I supposed to do about it?
Look, your whole trip-
it's all planned.
Booked reservations, rental cars.
Everything you need.
- All you have to do
is give them the credit card.
- What are you talking about?
You go visit them.
You go to their houses.
You see them.
You bring flowers, pink flowers.
You're just checking in.
Just checking in.
I even got maps.
Everything you need.
And I burned you a new CD, see?
That's traveling music.
That I'll take.
Uh, just coffee, please, Avis.
Thank you.
A few tips though.
Dress conservative, a little classy.
Don't give anything away.
And always, always bring flowers.
Pink flowers.
And look for clues about your son-
photographs, anything.
Or hints, like pink stationery
and red ink.
Handwriting, if possible.
And find that typewriter.
Bring me that typewriter,
and then I can forensically
match the type...
to the letter.
You're insane, Winston.
Even if you could possibly
rope me into this nonsense,
which you can't,
I'm not a detective,
I'm not a private eye
in one of your crime novels.
Forget it. No fuckin' way.
What, after all the work I've done?
Well, you do it.
You take the trip.
I'll pay for it.
Me? Impossible.
I've got three jobs and five kids.
And, besides, it's your life.
I've merely prepared the strategy.
But only you can solve the mystery.
And why is that?
Because you understand women.
Let me ask you something.
Suppose I took
this ridiculous trip,
and say this kid really exists,
and he shows up...
while I'm gone.
Don, don't worry.
I'll monitor your house every day.
Yeah? Then what?
What do you do?
If he shows up?
He shows up.
Don't worry.
I apprehend him.
Oh, okay. Great.
You apprehend him.
Look, I've got seven minutes
before I'm due to punch in.
Tomorrow morning,
on my way to the plant,
I will drop you at the airport.
No problem.
I got you an early flight.
It's not gonna happen.
No way.
I'll pick you up tomorrow morning
at 7:00 a.m. sharp.
My mom won't let me wear a bikini.
I can't believe your mom
let you come on this trip.
Oh, she doesn't know.
I mean, she knows, but she thinks
that I'm with your family.
No, she wouldn't have let me come,
and you would have been
totally mad at me.
What if she calls my mom?
She's not gonna call her.
She thinks that she's here.
See, it's perfect.
No, it'll be fine. Don't worry.
Wait, wait, wait. What?
Don't even worry about it.
Do I need to call my mom? 'Cause
my mom will totally lie for you.
I want to go to the party tonight,
and I really want to be able
to meet some cute guys.
That guy is so cute
that's sitting behind me.
Can you see him?
Oh, my God.
He's really cute though.
Don't stare at him.
He is cute.
He looks like a supermodel.
No, he looks like the Calvin Klein model
that's on the side of the bus.
Oh, my gosh. He's so cool.
He's totally staring at us right now.
Think Ally will take us to get something
to eat before we go? I'm starving!
That's why you need
the mix-and-match
for when you get fat.
Oh, my God. I know!
We're such heifers.
You get the bigger sizes.
I look so fat.
Doughnut girl.
Look for clues,
like a typewriter,
like something pink.
This will be very easy.
Hi, Laura. It's me, Don.
Remember me?
Hi. Who are you?
Don Johnston.
Really?
You're Don Johnson?
Yeah- No.
Johnston with a "T."
Oh.
Uh, does Laura Daniels,
who was formerly Laura Miller,
live here?
Yeah. That's my mom.
Well, I'm a very old friend of hers,
and I haven't seen her
in, um, in over-
Well, come on in.
So, my howll be home from work soon,
so just sit down. Here.
Make yourself comfortable.
So, my name's Lola.
Well, sometimes people call me Lo,
but my really real name is Lolita.
Lolita?
Yeah.
Well, l-I don't-
Do you want something?
'Cause we've got Popsicles.
- No, thanks.
- Okay.
Lolita.
Yeah?
Do you have
any brothers or sisters?
Why?
Do you think I need some?
Oh, wait, that's my phone.
Just-Just stay there.
I'll be right back, okay?
Okay.
That's so crazy.
Really?
That's so sick.
He didn't. Wait. Hold on.
My cell phone's ringing. Hello?
Yeah. I know. I just talked to her.
That's crazy, right?
I know.
Can I help you with something?
Donny, is that you?
Hey, Laura.
What are you doing here?
We're having chicken for dinner.
That was quite an outfit
you weren't wearing earlier.
Well, here we are.
Then Larry exploded
in a ball of flames at the track.
That happened,
and now it's just me and Lo.
It was even on TV.
I'm sorry.
Lo, your head looks
just like a pineapple.
- Mom!
- Doesn't it?
Yeah, it does look like a pineapple.
So, what, uh-
Where do you work?
Oh, Mom has her own business.
Right?
Yeah.
Really?
I'm a professional
closet organizer.
Come on.
No, I organize people's closets.
I even do their drawers.
I label everything.
I get them all organized.
I even color coordinate them.
Yeah.
And they pay her for that.
It's amazing.
- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Lolita, I said you- Lolita!
I said you could have a taste.
Now, come on.
That's enough of that.
That's not cool.
Lolita. Interesting choice
of name, Laura.
What?
So, Donny, I heard you made it big
in business a few years ago?
What are you into?
It was computers.
Oh, high-tech stuff.
More high tech
than pencils, I guess.
Mr. Fancy Pants!
Yeah, my pants are fancy.
So what?
So I see you're having
a yard sale?
Uh, you got me.
It's something we do
on Saturdays.
Yeah, Larry had all this crap
in the garage, and-
And then I got this neighbor
to paint a sign for us.
It's fun.
Are you gonna be selling
any old, uh, typewriters?
No.
Wh-
That's so 20th century.
Did you come all the way down here
to get a typewriter, Don?
What do you want a typewriter for?
An old friend asked me
if I would look around
for a typewriter.
So... I just remembered it.
Well-
You know,
I forgot to make dessert.
Oh, Don doesn't like Popsicles.
Donny.
What are you doing here?
I was just looking
for a typewriter.
Oh.
I remember.
Bye.
Hey.
Bye, Don.
Good-bye, Laura.
Come back sometime.
See you, Laura.
Lo! Go.
Put some clothes on.
Can I help you?
Dora?
Yes.
It's me, Don.
Remember me?
Oh, Don!
What-What are you doing here?
I brought these flowers.
So beautiful.
Wanna come in?
So,
what brings you out here?
Well, I was kind of in the area,
so I thought I'd drop in.
I see.
How- How did you
track me down, exactly?
Uh, on the computer.
They can do anything.
Nice place you've got here.
Oh, thank you.
It's a nice example.
My husband and I
are in real estate.
We sell landscape lots...
and preconstructed designer homes.
Or do you already have this information
from your computer?
No.
Your card is pink.
Yes.
Ron, my husband, thought it would be cute
if mine were pink and his blue.
I like those pearls.
Did I give you those?
I don't think so.
I should have.
It's very strange,
your showing up like this.
Yeah, it is strange.
It's my husband.
Hey! Where's my perfect little wi-
Well, what have we here?
Hi. Don Johnston.
I'm a really old
friend of Dora's.
Oh.
You don't look really old.
Just kinda old.
I'm Ron.
Don Johnston.
Mm-hmm.
That's an old flame of yours,
right, honey?
Don just dropped in
completely unexpectedly.
Wow! Nice to meet you, Don.
Ron and Don.
Hey, uh, is Don gonna stay
for dinner? I hope.
No. I really couldn't.
Well, sure you could.
Right? Honey?
Computers, huh? Wow.
That's gotta be a lucrative field.
Yeah, I've done pretty well.
Hmm. Well, the real estate biz
has been very good to us.
Right, hon?
At first I had the idea
of going into bottled water.
I think in the near future,
water will be worth more
than oil or gold.
Yeah. You're dying of thirst,
you can't take a swig of oil.
Right?
Or gold, for that matter.
Boy, you are certainly
right about that.
But for right now,
we decided that real estate
and quality prefab homes...
was the right way to go.
And it has been
quite lucrative.
Hon, those are
beautiful flowers.
Mmm.
Hey!
Don, I want to
show you something.
Excuse me.
Isn't this
the coolest photo?
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah?
This is crazy, right?
My straight little Dora.
My adorable little Dora.
Mmm.
Young hippie chick.
That is great, Ron.
Now, could you please
put it back?
Sorry, baby.
Probably brings back
one or two memories, huh, Don?
I took that photo,
didn't I?
Mm-hmm.
Well, you know, it's strange...
how people's lives change,
isn't it?
So, any kids?
Well, that's-
that's kind of a touchy subject.
See, I always wanted
to have kids with Dora.
You know,
I mean, kids of our own.
But she didn't, really,
so I respect that.
Oh, I don't know if I would have
had the time and patience
to be a good mother...
to- to Ron's children.
I'm just happy to have my Dora.
What about you, Don?
You married?
No, I'm still a bachelor.
A bachelor?
Wow.
But any kids?
He said he was still
a bachelor.
Well, honey, you know-
You never know.
One or two could have gotten away.
No. No kids I know of.
Hello, Winston.
Just a crazy guess.
Look, I don't know
what I'm doing up here.
I'm gettin' nowhere.
Yeah, I saw her.
Yeah, I saw her too.
Yesterday.
No. No clues.
No typewriters.
Couldn't you have rented me,
like, a Porsche or some car
that I might really drive?
I'm a stalker in a Taurus.
I have done everything
that you wanted me to do, you know.
l-l-I've really had enough of this.
I think I oughta go back today.
Yeah, but l- I don't-
I don't think I wanna see her.
No, Winston-
Winston, let me-
let me talk to you later, okay?
Can I just-Yeah.
Let me talk to you later.
Please?
Okay? Thanks.
I'll talk to you in a while.
Okay?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're now on our final descent.
Please return to your seats
and make sure your seat belts
are securely fastened. Thank you.
I heard what you said.
And I heard
what Dr. Markowski said.
You have to believe
in yourself.
I have a lot of respect for you.
I understand how you feel.
I understand, and I'll try
to do better next time.
Hi.
It takes a lot of courage
to say what you said.
I'm very proud of you.
And I want you to know that
I think you're doing very, very well...
and I believe in you.
Yeah, she definitely
speaks to iguanas.
Okay. That's right.
Call back on Monday
and we'll happily schedule you and Iggy.
Sure.
Mm-kay. Thank you.
I'm sorry, Mr. Johnston,
but Dr. Markowski
only takes appointments,
and she's in a session
right now.
Is your animal friend
with you?
Uh, no, l-l-I don't have
an animal friend.
I'm an old friend of Carm-
uh, Dr. Markowski's.
Um, Carmen has
a really tight schedule.
She may have a minute,
if you want to sit down.
Yeah, okay.
No, no, no.
Of course I won't forget you, Cleo.
Yes, I promise.
Thank you,
Dr. Markowski.
Mm-hmm.
- Bye now.
- Bye, Cleo.
See you next week,
Mrs. Dorston.
So, what do we have next?
Don?
So, you're an animal psychic?
No.
I'm a communicator.
And you're a doctor now?
Mmm.
When we were together,
you were so passionate
about becoming a lawyer.
I mean, you were...
very passionate.
Yeah, well,
passion's a funny thing.
I have a doctorate
in animal behavior.
But that was
sort of after the fact.
It's an odd story.
I'm getting into odd stories.
Well, I was a very successful lawyer.
I had no life, though,
outside my work,
except for my dog,
Winston.
Your dog's named Winston?
Yes.
But then he died...
suddenly.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
It was, uh-
It was years ago.
But my new ability was this gift.
This gift from Winston.
All right,
you can come in again.
Anyway,
after Winston died
I got this gift.
To-
To read animals' minds?
No. I told you-
- No.
- I'm a communicator.
You see,
soon after Winston died...
I realized that I could
hear animals speak to me.
I mean, I certainly hadn't
been aware of that before.
And I don't
read animals' minds.
But when they want
to communicate,
I can hear them.
You know,
like you and I are talking.
But we don't
read each other's minds.
Is he saying something?
He says
you have a hidden agenda.
He- He said that?
I think you'd better
go back outside now, Ramon.
Animals can tell us
what they want,
but that doesn't mean
that that's what's best for them.
Yes?
Excuse me, Carmen,
but Mr. Renaldo and Skippy
are here for your next session.
Oh. Okay.
Um, give me
one more minute.
Sorry, Don, but I really
can't keep Skippy waiting.
Do you think you could tell Skippy
that you're just gonna walk me to my car?
How about later?
Wanna get a drink?
No. I don't drink.
Maybe get something to eat?
I don't, uh, eat.
You don't?
Uh, take a walk?
I know you walk.
I don't feel like it.
Do you have a typewriter?
A typewriter?
Are you married?
You know, I think you
should probably go now.
Oh, come on, Carmen.
Can't you answer me?
No.
"No," you won't answer me?
No, I'm not married.
I was though.
Any kids?
Yes.
I have a daughter, Lianna.
She's 16.
She's in Sweden.
Sweden.
Am I supposed to ask
about you?
It seems like I've told you
my whole life story.
So-
Me? No.
I'm not married.
Of course you aren't.
And I don't have any kids.
Do I?
How would I know that?
Sorry, Carmen, but Mr. Renaldo
and Skippy have been waiting
in the session room.
I know. I'm sorry.
I'll be right there.
Okay.
Well, my time is really up.
So, good-bye.
Bye, Carmen.
Mr. Johnston?
You forgot your flowers.
Hey. Excuse me!
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Uh, do you know
where Atwood Road is?
I'm lost.
Oh!
Hey.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
Can I help you?
Does Penny live here?
Who's askin'?
I'm an old friend of Penny's.
Don. Don Johnston.
She's in the house.
Go around there. A screen door.
Thanks.
Penny?
Hello?
- Penny?
- Yeah?
Donny.
So, what the fuck
do you want, Donny?
Oh, I just thought I'd drop by.
Just checking in.
Well, I don't remember
any happy ending
between us, Don.
No... reconciliation,
nothing.
You left me, Penny.
Remember?
Yeah.
Very clearly.
So, what is it you wanted?
Everything okay over there, Pen?
Not sure yet!
Goddamn it.
What is it you wanted?
Penny, do you-
Do you have a son?
Fuck you, Donny!
Danny, grab that fucker.
Penny!
Shut up.
I didn't say anything.
What the hell's
your fuckin' problem?
I was just leaving.
No, what are you doing
upsetting Penny like that, huh?
I just needed to ask her a question.
Yeah, I know
you asked her a question.
Now, listen.
I just don't think
it's very sensitive of you...
comin' out here
to try to hurt Penny's feelings,
you know,
to get back at her or whatever.
That just seems so rude.
You said all pink, right?
It's best that they're all pink, yeah.
Oh, you're very good
at this.
That's beautiful.
Thanks.
Are you okay?
Uh, it was just
a minor misunderstanding.
Mind if I take a look?
Oh. That's nasty.
Did you even wash it?
Sort of.
Let me take care of it.
What's your name?
Sun. Sun Green.
Sun Green?
Perfect.
What's yours?
Don.
Don Johnston.
Really?
Don Johnson?
Johnston.
With a "T."
So...
if I continue down this road,
I will find
the Riverview Cemetery?
Yeah. You just go down the hill.
You'll see the entrance on your right.
Thank you, Sun Green.
You're welcome.
Hello, beautiful.
Red ink on pink paper.
I don't know what I want.
He says you have a hidden agenda.
Fuck you, Donny.
Circle Drive, please.
No rush.
The wheel of fortune turns.
Round and round it goes.
Where it stops, no one knows.
Boy.
That's my report,
Sherlock.
The general outline
of what you put me through.
That's it?
And after all that,
you're still no closer to knowing
who's the mother of your son?
That's right.
But there was
that one typewriter.
And the pink motorcycle.
And it was Dora's pink,
uh, business card.
And-And-And Laura's
pink bathrobe.
I think this whole thing
is a farce, a fiasco.
As far as I know,
you may have written
that letter to me.
Look, I'm really sorry
that you got beat up and everything.
l-l-l-I feel that
it was somehow my fault.
It was.
Kind of strange, too, how, uh,
Carmen's magic dog
was named Winston.
Yeah-
Look, man, I really put
a lot of work into this thing.
I thought that it was
really important that you know
whether or not you had a son.
I mean, it's your life.
You got to live your life, right?
I was living my life,
Winston.
I still am.
What's this?
It's pink.
It's a note
I found in my foyer
when I got back.
Red ink on pink paper.
It's from Sherry.
What? From Sherry?
Why didn't you tell me?
May I see it?
Envelope and paper
not exactly the same size.
You know, the handwriting...
seems pretty close
to the address on the envelope,
but I can't be sure.
Sherry still likes you.
You think that Sherry
could have sent the first letter...
and made the whole thing up
just to fuck with you?
Who knows?
You know, I've got to go.
I think I have just enough time
to stop home
and compare the handwriting...
and then hopefully
punch in at work on time.
You coming?
No.
I just need a little break
from all of this.
Look, don't worry.
We're still going to
solve this mystery.
Didn't I see you
at the airport last night?
I don't know.
Did you?
Yeah.
You on a road trip?
Yeah.
Something like that.
You look hungry.
Can I buy you a sandwich
or something?
Uh, no, that's okay.
You can relax.
I'm not gay. I'm not a cop.
Just a guy who sees a guy
who might need a sandwich.
Okay. Thanks.
But could you get something to go?
I'd sorta rather stay outside.
Sure.
How about a nice
club sandwich?
I'm vegetarian.
You eat cheese?
Yeah, sometimes.
l-I like cheese.
Okay, I got it.
I'll be right back.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey.
You found us a place.
All right.
Let's see here.
Big cheese and veggie sandwich...
with mushrooms.
Fries-
Mmm.
extra large.
Two waters.
Two coffees.
My mom put that there...
for good luck.
Thanks for the food.
Ahh.
No problem, chief.
You called me chief?
Yeah. Why?
What happened to your eye?
I, uh-
I ran into somebody.
Somebody's fist.
You a gangster?
No. I wish.
No, I was, uh-
I was in computers.
Computers and girls.
What about you, chief?
I'm interested
in, uh, philosophy.
Philosophy and girls.
Sounds pretty good.
Think so?
So, uh,
as just a guy
who gave another guy a sandwich,
you have any, like,
philosophical tips or anything...
for a guy on a kind of road trip?
You asking me?
Yeah.
Well-
The past is gone.
I know that.
The future...
isn't here yet,
whatever it's going to be.
So,
all there is is-
is this.
The present.
That's it.
Are you a Buddhist?
No. Are you?
Uh, I'm not sure yet.
I'm sorry that's the best
I have to offer at the moment.
No, I appreciate it.
I like what you said.
It's better than some, like,
fatherly-sounding bullshit.
Is that...
what your father's like?
Ah, that's not a good subject.
Hey, I gotta go, man.
I'm sorry.
Thanks again
for the sandwich and stuff.
Hold on a second.
Wait.
I know you think
that I'm your father, don't you?
What?
Just tell me.
You can talk to me, chief.
Man, you're fucked up.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. Wait!