Candiland (2016) Movie Script
1
- What does this guy do, again?
- He's my business manager.
Pays all my bills.
Telephone, rent, charge cards,
everything.
I want him to pay yours too.
I mean, let's face it:
We both recently got
huge cash settlements,
we don't
need to worry about money, so
why should we, right?
- I'm ashamed of those days.
I'm ashamed of myself, and
embarrassed.
I feel like a failure.
- Ah, new sheets!
And they're grey.
- Oh, no.
We want color in a thousand
threat count!
Go get feather pillows.
Hi.
I'll take these.
Mm-mm.
- That'll be $503.65.
Thank you.
Do you...
- No, I do not.
- Thank you.
Have a nice day.
- Don't I need to sign it?
- You already did, ma'am.
- Oh.
Yes.
Yes, I did.
Thank you.
- Ready?
- Oh,
yeah, I just need some Ba-
please tell me this is the
last thing we had to do.
- That's it.
- Okay, let's get back to your
house.
Oh, you should've had those
ready.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Oh, I'm lost in Candiland.
If only my father were here to
help me!
Oh, hi dad, how you doing?
You're my father!
- Seriously, Samson?
Every time we get around dead
bodies
you go all pre-school on me.
Grow some balls.
- Lighten up.
Just trying to figure out their
mindset.
Look at this place.
Call from: God.
- Peter, pick up the phone
please.
I know you hear my voice, come
on.
I'm beginning to know your
answering machine quite well
this past month.
- If you don't talk
to him, he's gonna come here.
- This is your father
talking; That's an order.
- Hello?
Good dad, good.
- Now, how's the knee?
Uh, that's a stupid question.
I just wanted to make sure
you're okay.
That's all.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving
for England tomorrow.
There's a chance I could
get to go on with them
and do some promoting
on a world class level.
Maybe a month.
I've got everything taken
care of on this end.
Well I made the contact
a long time ago, dad.
It just came up.
- Take care.
And give my regards to the
queen.
He's coming back.
- Well hello there, neighbor.
You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.
Follow me.
- It's not every day
that the elusive Arnie
asks me over; It must
be a special occasion.
- Here are your pie plates.
Thanks for spoiling me.
- Oh great, cause these
cost about 30 cents each.
- I washed them.
- You okay?
- - Yeah.
- Is it your knee, do you need a
doctor?
- No, no, no. It just clicks
sometimes.
Just the way it's gonna have to
be.
Could've been worse.
- It's good to have a positive
attitude.
- In fact, I never used to
believe in god.
- Do you now?
- What am I missing here, Arnie?
What's the magic formula?
Is it cherry?
Blueberry?
- All of the above.
- Me, I just
have the book of Arnie.
- What's that?
- Let's see what psalm 14 has to
say.
- I want you to know
that drinking isn't the answer.
Take it from me.
It prolongs your depression.
- Thou shalt not drink. Praise
Arnie.
- How many pies has a
gal gotta bake before you
take a hint and ask her out?
Oh, because sooner or later
she's gonna open up
her stupid mouth hoping
that you'll rescue her.
Please tell me you're following
me, Arnie.
- You want to go out?
- Pick me up at seven?
- Yes ma'am.
- We just grew apart.
And now he thinks some cheap
advice is gonna fix everything.
- Well he is not gonna be an
issue
for the next little while, so I
think
we should...
Remove him from the apartment.
- All messages deleted.
- I'm half empty without you.
Marines don't cry.
You're all I got.
And I love you so much.
- Hi.
- - Hello.
- New sheets!
- Is it too early to
fall in love with you?
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't
realize you were awake.
- I've been here for so
long without going home.
- Tess! Look at me.
For the first time in
ages I meet someone who
makes me feel at peace, and what
do I do?
I get so excited...
That I smother her.
I'm really not like this.
I'm just so happy.
- I'm happy too.
But there's...
There's something about
me that you don't know.
I can't have children.
- That's it? You can't have
kids?
- That's what...
My scar is from.
I was pregnant...
Something went wrong so they
took it
out of me, they...
They took it all out of me.
- Tess, I don't want kids.
- You say that now.
- Thought about it
upside down and sideways.
No interest.
- Charles wanted kids more than
he wanted me.
- Maybe he's the one
who's missing something.
He let the perfect contessa
slip through his fingers.
- You think I'm perfect?
- Oh, I love having you here.
- That was...
I've always felt like
I've been alone before.
I think that's the first
time I've ever made love.
- What's happening here?
- I've never felt so close so
fast.
- So how's the billster doing
with soccer?
- Oh, pretty good.
He's gotta hit the field more,
but uh,
he's all obsessed with this blog
of his.
- You gotta beat that art
shit right out of him.
Trust me, you don't want him to
end up
like one of these whack jobs.
- It tickles!
Is it a puppy dog?
- Uh-uh.
- Is it a truck?
- Nope.
- Is it a pair of pants?
- Ha, wrong!
Now press back,
and hold still.
- I can do that.
- Can you now?
- It's a cactus.
- It's not a cactus!
I think it looks like us.
Our own little private
expression.
- Uh-oh.
But now the rest of the
place looks super bland.
- Yeah!
You're right!
How dare this goddamn place be
so boring!
- We have to fight against it!
- Yeah!
- Delivery, paint.
- Just leave it.
- I need a signature, please.
This is all the...
That we had left over.
- Leave!
- Pardon me?
- - Leave!
- What about the Dolly?
- Charge me.
- Oh, I'm gonna charge you.
- That's gonna dry like that.
- Well...
Who needs heat?
- I feel like we need some
music.
- Yeah, that's a fantastic idea.
- I'm starting to believe in
god.
- Really?
- I think you're god.
- Then you must me god too.
That means that I can
actually learn about god
by studying you.
- That's gonna take a long time.
- Shh!
There is no time in here!
- What do you mean, there's
no time in your apartment?
- This is...
Candiland.
&k there goes my heart
&k it goes... &k
no calendars, no clocks, no
time.
- No more social media
judgements.
- Mm-mm.
- I'll do it if you do it.
- I'll do it.
I'm doing it!
&k there goes my heart &k
- I am king Peter, and
you are queen contessa!
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- The citizens
of Candiland are not safe.
- No one is a match for
the 50 foot librarian!
- The army is in its way!
We're gonna take her down,
that's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna throw
everything we've got at her.
If she thinks that she
can come to our city
and, oh no, she's coming!
- I am coming for you.
- We meet again, gigantor man!
You really think you can handle
this?
- I came here to bend you over
the bed.
- I can't kiss you!
I can't kiss you.
Aw, your nose!
- Malfunction, malfunction.
- What is our purpose?
I mean, if we are god, and well,
we are...
Who are we helping,
because isn't the meaning
of life to help others?
- Well we're helping each other.
- I guess so.
- Well...
Maybe we need to help each other
first,
and then we'll figure
out how to help others.
We need to meld together first.
Become as close as possible.
- Peter...
- Hm?
- Will you marry me?
- Right now?
Absolutely, of course!
What do you mean, like the
merging of two dualities?
Should we do it right now?
- No, no, no I think we should
think about it, and then do it
right.
- Well, okay, so how should we
do it then?
- Um, well we have to write our
vows.
- He's not there?
Thank you, sir.
- Okay, enough with the phone.
- England's got a lot of hotels.
- If he wanted you to
have his phone number,
he would've called you.
- You ready?
- Yes!
Okay.
Ta-da!
- Wow.
- Peter needs to get
back on the right track,
and I am what he needs.
- No, he needs to jump out of
the nest.
He needs to spread his wings.
He doesn't need his father
telling him what to do.
- Where are your papers and
everything?
- Mm, shh.
King Peter, I want to live here
in Candiland with you
forever.
- Hold it!
I'm not just his father,
I'm his everything.
- Wow.
- - Yes wow.
- So you smothered the poor
boy, and now you're gonna
fix everything by smothering him
again?
- Queen Tessa...
I wanna live here with you
in Candiland forever.
- What I'm telling you is-
- you just want to be in
control.
- Is that you, Arnie?
- - Yes.
- Well...
You don't always have to be the
leader.
- And so we are one.
- Maybe you should try
following.
- Yes ma'am.
- I love you, Peter.
Good morning, honey lover.
- Did I notice any strange
smells?
You know I live right next
to the garbage chute, right?
And I work at a chemical plant.
And my girlfriend's an escort.
So I'm kinda, like,
used to weird smells.
- Okay, well did you
notice anything unusual
from the guy living in 619?
- Nah, he seemed like a
pretty cool dude actually.
- Peter, can you hear me?
- I'm worried about my knee.
- Well, there are surgical
procedures that we can do, but
nothing is 100%.
We can help you get your
quality of life back though.
- Will any of these things
result in me
playing tennis again?
- No.
No.
I know you don't want to believe
this, but
you're a lucky man.
- But tennis is all I have.
- Cold.
Well you're gonna have to
start looking at the world
a little bit differently, Peter.
You look around,
you'll find something worth
living for.
- And that's it?
- Yes, you hear me Peter?
- There's nothing else you can
do for me?
- There is one thing, doctor.
- Yes, yes there is one thing.
One thing that will solve
all of your problems,
get you back on the court by
Monday.
- Really, what is it?
Please tell me, I'll try
anything.
- It's the fresh scent of
bright beam laundry detergent.
Oh, nothing leaves a softer-
&k bright beam &k
- bright beam laundry detergent.
Nothing gets your clothes...
- Peter?
What's going on?
- Nothing.
The television broke.
It's nothing.
And who needs it.
Who needs time?
Force me into some pointless
routine.
I'm not a slave to schedule
anymore!
- Hey!
Hey, what the fuck man?
Hey, you can't leave your
fucking shitty TV here, man.
What the fuck?
Hey!
I'm calling the manager, fuck
face.
Hey man, come on.
- Someone will take the set
away.
It's not that big a deal.
- Let's just have a little
conversation about you
and where you place your
TV man, that's it man.
Just me and you and my fist in
your face.
- Guy's probably got a
list of sins a mile long
but he's Mr. Consumatic!
Screaming like a jackass
at another human being!
- You got some serious fucking
issues.
You know what?
I'm gonna keep this fucking
clock.
This is fucking mine.
- I don't want to go out there.
- All the way up and
down this fucking hallway
you piece of shit!
Fucking asshole.
Dick.
- It'll go away.
- What's it like for you
not being able to have kids?
- I feel...
Broken.
I feel trapped
inside the body that killed my
baby.
- Tess...
You are the most beautiful woman
that I've ever met.
- I'm hideous.
- You're gorgeous.
You have a beautiful face,
and a painfully sexy body.
- You're the first person to
ever make me feel attractive.
- Well, you've been with the
wrong people.
You are the perfect woman.
And these...
Are the perfect breasts.
- They don't feel perfect.
- What do they feel like?
- Tombstones.
I miss my baby.
How do you miss someone that
you've never even met?
- It's okay, Tess.
You can let it out.
I'm here.
- Don't make me break this door
down.
I've been the nobel's office.
Food is delivered here every
week.
- Is this how my night's
gonna go right now?
I'm just gonna have people
yelling at every goddamn door?
Can I help you, man?
- Get back in there.
- The fuck is going on here?
- Stay in there!
- I'm calling the cops you
motherfucker!
- Call 'em, dummy.
- You can't even live
your own life, old man!
- You don't know what's going on
anymore!
- The second I find happiness
here you are desperate to take
it away.
- Peter, come on, this is your
father.
- Well not this time!
- Hm.
- I am a legal adult now,
and there ain't a goddamn
thing that you can do
to get into this place.
- I like that, I like that
attitude.
- I hate you!
- For god's sake.
- I hate you, and I
don't want anything ever
to do with you ever again.
- I'm dismissed.
- I'm free now.
You answered my prayers.
- Did you get it?
- What?
Did I get what? What're you
talking about?
You asked me if I got it.
What did I get?
- I'm sorry Peter, I just woke
up.
I must've been dreaming or
something.
Peter moping so long!
- Sorry. I upset dad.
- Yeah?
He's gone!
Been long gone since a long
time.
What would you like for...
Food time?
Ooh!
Need help?
- No.
Cookies.
- Perfect.
Oopsie!
- Tess!
What is it?
- I saw it, I saw it.
- Saw what?
- The date.
The date was on the receipt.
The time, I saw the time.
- I know.
- You do?
- - Yes.
- We communicate...
- Without talking.
- I miss not knowing that it's
march 21st.
- Hey...
Gone.
Here.
Replaced.
- What're we doing here?
- Making a statement.
- What's that?
- That life can be giggles and
crunch.
Giggles and crunch?
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Where's that water coming
from?
- It's slow leak from the
ceiling.
Looks like they tried to
stuff paper in it to plug it.
It's just mush now.
- Do you ever wonder if they're
happy?
I mean now that they're not
secretly sneaking around
behind everyone's backs,
where's the excitement?
I mean, would it be gone?
Because they have now
had to make the switch
from being irresponsible
to being responsible,
and I don't think that Charles
could be
that kind of a husband
to someone, you know?
He's always gonna wanna
be distracted by other
things, and not really giving
his whole...
- You know, I don't want to
hear about Charles anymore.
- But you keep asking me
questions.
- And they all lead you
to talking about him
and I'm sick and tired
of hearing his name.
- Well he was kind of
a big part of my life-
- I know, I know, I know!
I know. I know.
But he's not anymore.
And I'm sick and tired of
thinking about his hands on you.
I want us to forget about that
time.
All of our energy should
be put into today.
Into us.
- My past is a big part of who I
am.
- I know my darling, but let's
just
say that history molded you
into the wonderful person
that you are, and be done with
it.
- But...
No, all week all we've been
talking about
is me, we haven't talked about
you at all.
- There's nothing worth knowing,
really.
- No fair!
Uh-uh.
You haven't told me anything
about...
The accident.
- Ah.
I'm sorry.
Car hops the curb and nails me.
It was a drunk idiot.
Totally his fault.
And I got a huge cash
settlement.
But still, everyone else managed
to
get out of his way.
Except for me,
the tennis pro.
- Babe...
- And that was that.
I love you, Tess.
- I love you, Peter.
- I want to wash my
past away from my hands.
I want you to wash your past
away too.
Can you do that for me?
- Okay.
No more past.
- I don't know Donnie,
it's been like 10 years
since I've been out dancing.
Charles never-
- uh-uh.
Tonight has nothing to do with
Charles.
- It isn't even final yet!
- It is for him!
I mean, Jesus, he already
shacked up with that
blonde slut, spending his
nights-
- it's not like I'm
gonna have revenge sex.
- Right, you should
totally deny yourself sex,
that way it will teach him a
lesson.
- I can't believe you
talked me into this skirt.
This skirt is ridiculous.
- Your ass is ridiculous!
Smile, pretty girl!
Oh my god, you look so pretty!
- So how're you supposed to meet
someone
when you have to shout to talk?
- No, no, it's not about
talking.
Just be, go like this, go
like this: Just like...
You're just looking around,
you're having fun, it's
just so much fun to be here.
Okay, it's never worked that
fast before.
Bye!
Excuse me ladies, pardon me,
sorry.
Oh my god, the lighting is
so much better over here.
Isn't it? Hi, I'm Donnie.
I'm not even high yet.
- What'll you have?
- I'll try a shot of that
picaberry blue.
- No, no, no, get her something
different.
Anything else she wants, just
not that.
- You look a little
young to buy me a drink.
- Tess, stop.
- Bye Donnie.
Thank you for introducing
me to the man of my dreams.
- Honey, you don't have to do
this.
There's a way for you to keep
Peter
and your sanity, all you have
to...
All you have to do is...
- Goodbye Charles.
I hope it hurts.
Sometimes.
- What? What's going on?
- Peter, Peter, Peter.
I love you, I love you.
I just want to be here and
now, just like you said.
Just us forever and
ever and ever and ever.
- Comfy!
- - Out.
- Why?
- - Out!
- Where?
- - Bathroom.
- Hurry!
- Yes.
- Why do you
terrorize yourself so much?
- Oh, oh, oh, settle.
- I'm comfy.
- - Settle.
Peter?
Looser.
- Why?
- Loose!
- Comfy!
- - Up.
- Where?
- - Bathroom.
- No!
- Yes!
- Me too?
- Okay, come.
Peter...
No, you're too close!
I mean always.
Sorry, terrible sorry, so sorry.
- Die.
- Please no.
No, Petey, Petey.
I love you so!
Peter?
- Kitchen.
- Me too?
- Come then.
Call from: God.
- You can coach,
you can go back to school.
We'll find something together.
We'll figure this out.
- Your ass is ridiculous!
Hey.
Hey you!
Mind if I take a peek?
- What're you having?
- I will have anything.
And I mean anything
other than that picaberry
bullshit whatever.
- Don't like sweet drinks?
- Just that I don't like
being told what to drink
while I try and take a piss.
But that's too much to ask
for nowadays, ain't it?
- I suppose.
Try this on.
- What'll you have?
- I'll try a shot of that
picaberry blue.
- No, no, no.
Get her something different.
Anything else she wants, just
not that.
- You look a little
young to buy me a drink.
- What's your name?
- Tess.
- Tess.
Contessa.
Tessa.
- One more.
- Bye bye, I gotta cut out.
- Oh, we have to go already?
- Uh, yeah right no.
We...
- You look great together!
What a nice couple!
Oh my gosh you look like his
mom.
- Shut up!
- Oh my gosh, I hear that
young man's got a car.
Good for you.
Sometimes it feels like...
Wow.
- Ow.
What number do you live in?
- I don't know, just pick a
door.
- What number do you live in?
- I don't even know if
this is the right building.
- Wait, wait, stop!
- What?
- I don't know your name.
What is your name?
- Peter.
- Peter.
Okay, you may resume.
Oh Peter.
Peter!
- What?
- What's going on?
You're sitting there like there's
something you want to say.
- Thinking.
- Share.
- No.
- Well I need an outlet.
You can take all of this stuff
and you can
compose it in your head, but...
I need something else.
- Outlet.
- Read?
- Why?
- Oneness.
- My Peter.
Okay?
- Uh-huh.
- Petey?
- Hm?
- I'm devoted to you.
I love you so.
- Why do you terrorize
yourself so much in your sleep?
- Why do you
keep wrecking Candiland?
- Because you seek perfection.
- Guilt is an end you
dissect in my every word
looking for something
that you can lord over me.
- Do you think I want to be
saved?
- Once you believe that the
bad dreams will go away.
- Why am I here?
You don't dare answer that
question.
Do you?
Do you?
- What're you doing,
you're just whispering to me in
my sleep?
- Happy thoughts, Petey!
Just wanting closeness.
Petey?
- Not ready.
- I miss you so much.
- I...
- Please...
- Oh, stinky.
Please.
- No.
- Stinky!
Please, needs cleaning!
- Cleansing?
- Yes!
Stinky place needs cleaning.
- Yes.
You need cleansing.
This is Candiland,
and in Candiland there is
all the time in the world.
I want to wash my past away from
my hands.
I want you to wash your past
away too.
Can you do that for me?
- It's not your
fault that I died inside you.
It was my fault.
If only I could've been
someone you could like.
- You locked the door!
- I'm sorry, so sorry.
- Who hurt my contessa?
- My poor Tess.
- Fix it!
- There.
- My king.
- Now they'll all worship you,
and you will rule over
them forever and ever.
And they will never curse you...
Again.
- But after a day,
what is a day?
But with some reflection,
I always understand
his motives.
Perhaps that is where I'm meant
to be.
It'll help make sure everyone
understands
what I am writing.
What am I writing?
If Peter is god, and
this is an experiment...
Then what I'm writing is...
Peter!
We're saints!
And, and maybe you're the
Messiah!
And these together,
they illustrate it all.
They're a new gospel.
Together?
- Together.
Call from: God.
- He's leaving a message.
Call from: God.
- Hello?
- God, my boy,
it's good to hear you voice.
Listen, do you think we might be
able
to get together sometime?
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Okay, so you're the new
Messiah.
- Not yet.
Not yet.
We're not cleansed yet.
We're not ready.
- He says cleansed a lot.
I can't remember the
last time I saw him eat.
He's seeking some form of
enlightenment.
If I am to be a good wife,
if I am to be a Saint,
I need to find a way to join
him.
- Oh wow, Arnie!
I didn't know you were
so good with your hands.
- When you're in the marine
corps
you learn how to tenderize the
feet
for the marching and the combat.
You know, when Peter turned
pro we were on the road
a lot, and I didn't want
something like
a sore shoulder to slow us down.
I know he's all I talk about.
- More like obsess about.
- It's just hard to shake off.
All that time building a
perfect future for my boy,
and it's gone.
- I cleaned for you.
- You peeked.
- - Peeked?
At your drawings?
No I didn't.
- You did.
- Trash!
Out.
- No.
- The garbage, it'll come
back and it'll haunt you.
- Haunt?
- Uh-huh, haunt.
The trash will haunt you.
- Curse?
- That's right.
Old, moldy, smelly garbage is a
curse.
- My son wanted to be a doctor.
I remortgaged the house,
I sold everything I could,
worked a second job,
all to try and get him
through medical school.
- And what happened?
- Well, he became a doctor.
Got a good practice, good house.
And every once in a while if I'm
lucky
he sends me a Christmas card.
- Come on, Peter!
Let's not play this game
anymore, just talk to me!
- No.
Don't curse me.
- Relax, it's just the food.
Who is it?
- Delivery.
- You can just leave it out
there, please.
- Okay.
- Stand down!
- No!
- Oh my god.
- Daddy!
- Oh, son.
You're not eating.
- I'd die first!
- The great tragedy in life is
not death,
it's what dies inside of
you while you're living.
- I'm not a fucking robot
that you can just keep
programming.
- No, but you're becoming a
robot that has no program.
- Peter says if he had
a gun he would kill you.
- Well he doesn't have,
so I'm safe and so are you.
I'm keeping my eye on you buddy.
Oh damn.
There's nothing in there.
There's no nutrition!
Nothing but stupid stuff.
This is not an attack.
This is a rescue mission.
- You phony prick!
You never loved me.
- I do love you.
- No you don't!
- I do love you!
I'll be back.
With more reinforcements.
I'm gonna make my point with
you, son,
and you're gonna get it.
That's my mission here.
You can yell and scream all you
want
but I do not fail.
Oh boy.
- What're we gonna do?
Stop it, Peter!
I'm not perfect yet.
- You tried to be
separate, you let him in.
Refused to be cleansed.
- He forced his way in.
- Don't even try to know my
thoughts!
- He knocked me against the door
and it really hurt.
Okay, what number am I thinking
right now?
- You let him in.
- You don't know because
you can't read my mind,
but I guess that's my fault too.
- And now you're lying about it.
- See, you tried to say that
you're being one with me
but, you know, it's nothing
but excuses to talk to you.
Wrong.
You keep sabotaging everything.
- Me?
Draw.
Just work it out.
Write it down.
- I could kill you so easily.
- You can't kill me, cause then
we can't finish the gospel.
No, you must protect me.
It's our work.
- My work!
- I will haunt you!
I will come back and I will
screech and I will hiss
at all hours, and then I will
find your father and I will
haunt him too, so much that
I'll make him come back here
and find you and he'll put
you in the place where they
keep the fucking loonies.
So draw!
Put down what you...
What you're feeling.
I know now that it's pain
that motivates Peter.
How I loathe to hurt him, but he
needs it.
He gathers his strength
by rallying against it.
But I must not abuse this power.
It can only be used for
the good of the gospel.
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart &k
- police, open up!
You won't answer the phone.
- Daddy!
- I've got the police here
to force their way in.
- Daddy, please go away.
- No!
I'm not going away.
- Peter, this is officer Bauer.
Open the door, please.
- Daddy...
If you love me-
- shut up!
You open the door now.
- I can only get through this
without you,
do you understand?
- You need my help!
Open up the door!
- No!
- Well I got news for you,
I'm gonna force this door open.
- If you do, I'll never forgive
you.
- Sir, we can't just bust
down someone's door without
just cause.
- Are you worried
about his safety?
- I'm his father.
That's why I'm pushing hard.
And maybe I should be
using a gentler approach.
I don't know how to do that.
- That tends to be more
effective in these situations.
- Here's my card.
If things escalate we
can always come back,
try this again.
- Yes ma'am.
Well thank you both very much.
- Good luck.
- Peter, I've sent the police
away.
Are you still there?
- Yes.
- This is good, us
having a talk like this.
Do you feel it's good?
- No.
- I appreciate it even more.
I want to know how your lady
friend in there is doing?
She's beautiful.
You better be treating
her like the lady she is.
- Go away, dad.
- I love you, son.
I'll come back tomorrow and
we can talk some more then.
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
That's a good answer.
- Maybe.
- I heard you.
I like it when you're talking to
me.
Keep feeling that!
- What? What did I do?
- No more curses.
- I didn't curse anything.
- How did it get in?
- What?
- That thing that you were
chanting.
- That?
That's just an old tune from
a stupid dog food commercial.
- Do you want some dog food,
Tess?
- Ow, ow, no I don't!
- This place could be paradise
but you keep letting them in!
- Letting what in?
Peter!
Peter, gather your thoughts for
me.
- They could've used
psychology to cure the sick.
They'll trick us into
remembering useless garbage.
Useless, pointless garbage!
Filling up our head until we
can't think straight anymore.
You don't have any privacy.
You consistently look at me
with that confused expression
on your face because
you really don't care.
Because you can't think straight
enough
to realize what you lost!
- Peter!
Stop just staring off
into space like that.
If you have something in your
head
you have to share it with me.
- No!
You'll pollute it.
You'll curse it.
- How?
It was just a little jingle.
- That doesn't bother you?
- No!
No please!
Please stop! Please!
We're making our own experiment.
Peter, we're...
We're creating.
We're our own gods in our own
universe.
God must have Satan: You.
- No, please don't do this.
I love you so much and I just
want
us to be happy and serene!
From now on I write in code,
a simple one I taught
myself in high school.
Apparently I'm not working fast
enough.
I'm falling too far behind.
I must find a way, I
need to get to his level.
This'll be my mission.
It will not fail.
I must know, I must understand
why he
did that to me.
- Well let's get some more
light on this freak show.
- The thing is, is that, uh,
I didn't really talk to the guy
that much.
We didn't hang out that much.
- I doubt we'll ever find the
motive here.
- I sent him an e-vite to go
hang out
maybe go on a double
date, but he seemed busy.
- How?
- - Easily.
- Why?
- To give me more time.
- Ah, but there is no time in
here.
- But there's still wasted
moments.
- I don't think I understand
this one.
- You will.
- Mm-mm, how do you transcend
needing sex?
- Easily.
- I don't think you know
how this makes me feel.
- Think about it.
The one desire that they use
as a catalyst to manipulate you.
- But what about us?
Our oneness?
- Think about how close we will
be now.
We'll be forced to create
more complex ways to connect.
Richer, deeper.
- Get up.
You stink.
Go take a shower.
Go!
Steam will do you good.
Asshole.
You son of a bitch!
Transcending sex, my ass!
You can kidnap me, you can abuse
me,
but you will not fucking ignore
me!
Come on, bring it back.
Bring it back, bring it back!
Bring it back, it's mine!
Yeah.
It's mine.
Oh it's fucking mine
and don't you forget it!
It is mine!
No!
No!
You could've waited.
- I could have.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
- Yeah?
Take out the trash.
- Hungry?
- Die.
- Write, contessa.
- Don't do that.
- Look how easy I let you go.
- Tess is onto a better place.
- Any shape that you wanted.
- A better plateau
of love, kindness, trust, and
truth.
Funerals are very important.
- They're still here.
- One who
has died, has passed on.
- Little tiny
hooks inside my head.
- Unknown caller.
- What?
- Greetings and
good morning to you sir.
I'm from JC marketing.
We have a survey we'd like you
to do
that'll take no time at all.
- That's not possible.
- Oh, well we were just
wondering
how often do you vacation up
north?
- My god, how did you find me?
What do I have to do to get
a moment's peace around here?
I just wanted one moment!
- How are we gonna order food?
- We have plenty of food.
- This is actually a nice
apartment.
- God knows what they od'd on.
- Uh, I don't think it was
drugs.
I think they starved themselves
and died of malnutrition.
- You do know that when we run
out of food
we're gonna have to go to a
neighbor's
and use their phone to
order more groceries.
- Yes.
We will.
- You happy, son?
- Not ignorant.
I can't be.
- The best way to stay happy
is let go of the pain.
You're in pain now,
let it go.
- Why couldn't we have
talked like this more?
- Peter's genius
is becoming clearer to me.
Hunger turns in to knowledge.
And now I stand next to the
truth.
And the world will soon...
And the world will soon be able
to relish in in his brilliance.
- Okay, so the cab is
gonna be here in 20, and...
Where are your bags?
- You didn't get my message?
- Oh shit.
- They're dying in there.
They're wasting away to nothing.
- These tickets are
nonrefundable.
- But I did what you said;
I stopped trying to control him.
You know, Peter needs to
talk or all of his thoughts
build up inside him and
he hasn't been the same
since his mother died.
- So? Have you?
He just wants to sit and
wallow in his own self pity
for a while, and you
want to help him do it?
This vacation is the best thing
that could happen for you.
And for him.
- I can't, I just...
- How are you supposed
to teach him about living
if you don't?
Now I want you to go back your
bags
and I want...
Okay Arnie.
You go give Peter what he needs.
You'll know where to find me.
- I'm not afraid.
There's no sacrifice here.
I'm too anxious, too desperate
for us to reach the
next realm of our worry.
My words will survive.
I've made sure Peter can't harm
them.
- Got a bit of a problem here.
- What?
- He don't seem to want to let
go.
Maybe if I just-
- oh, no, take "m together.
Figure it out.
I want them out of here
before the press shows up
and tries to turn this into a
thing.
Samson, come on!
- Yeah, sorry boss.
- I am king.
I am king.
I am king.
Call from: God.
Call from: God.
- Time to cleanse.
- I know you
feel like your life is over.
- Cleanse.
- But that's not true.
It's just beginning.
You need to learn to laugh
in the face of death.
- Here, fixed!
- Turn around.
- Oh, you're a tennis player?
- Well I used to be. Drunk
driver.
- Well I bet you're good.
- I just picked the
wrong day to go outside.
- Shh.
It's okay, dad.
I'm almost cleansed.
I hate you!
- Look at you, come here!
You don't hate me!
You can't hate me because
my love for you is
so strong you can't defeat it!
You don't hate me, you
don't know what hate is.
Don't do this to yourself.
You can't do it to me anymore,
cause I'm not gonna let you.
- Cleanse.
- Die! Die!
- You have to do something.
Knife through the heart,
together.
- Six minutes.
- Six minutes.
- That's how long it
took to get the job done.
Six minutes.
- We can do better than that.
- Next time.
- We can do it better.
I read my pizza.
- Oh, sorry about that.
- You missed a spot.
- Look at me!
Look at me!
- You look adorable.
- You have a way of
making a girl
feel very special.
- Just you.
- Um...
Uh...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's just really fast.
- It felt so different.
It just felt, uh-
- wonderful, it felt wonderful.
I don't mean to suggest that...
We can't find something special.
I'm just feeling really
overwhelmed.
- Then why not stay?
- What?
- I mean, why not have a two-night
stand at the very least?
- A moment's peace.
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart &k
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- What does this guy do, again?
- He's my business manager.
Pays all my bills.
Telephone, rent, charge cards,
everything.
I want him to pay yours too.
I mean, let's face it:
We both recently got
huge cash settlements,
we don't
need to worry about money, so
why should we, right?
- I'm ashamed of those days.
I'm ashamed of myself, and
embarrassed.
I feel like a failure.
- Ah, new sheets!
And they're grey.
- Oh, no.
We want color in a thousand
threat count!
Go get feather pillows.
Hi.
I'll take these.
Mm-mm.
- That'll be $503.65.
Thank you.
Do you...
- No, I do not.
- Thank you.
Have a nice day.
- Don't I need to sign it?
- You already did, ma'am.
- Oh.
Yes.
Yes, I did.
Thank you.
- Ready?
- Oh,
yeah, I just need some Ba-
please tell me this is the
last thing we had to do.
- That's it.
- Okay, let's get back to your
house.
Oh, you should've had those
ready.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Oh, I'm lost in Candiland.
If only my father were here to
help me!
Oh, hi dad, how you doing?
You're my father!
- Seriously, Samson?
Every time we get around dead
bodies
you go all pre-school on me.
Grow some balls.
- Lighten up.
Just trying to figure out their
mindset.
Look at this place.
Call from: God.
- Peter, pick up the phone
please.
I know you hear my voice, come
on.
I'm beginning to know your
answering machine quite well
this past month.
- If you don't talk
to him, he's gonna come here.
- This is your father
talking; That's an order.
- Hello?
Good dad, good.
- Now, how's the knee?
Uh, that's a stupid question.
I just wanted to make sure
you're okay.
That's all.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving
for England tomorrow.
There's a chance I could
get to go on with them
and do some promoting
on a world class level.
Maybe a month.
I've got everything taken
care of on this end.
Well I made the contact
a long time ago, dad.
It just came up.
- Take care.
And give my regards to the
queen.
He's coming back.
- Well hello there, neighbor.
You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.
Follow me.
- It's not every day
that the elusive Arnie
asks me over; It must
be a special occasion.
- Here are your pie plates.
Thanks for spoiling me.
- Oh great, cause these
cost about 30 cents each.
- I washed them.
- You okay?
- - Yeah.
- Is it your knee, do you need a
doctor?
- No, no, no. It just clicks
sometimes.
Just the way it's gonna have to
be.
Could've been worse.
- It's good to have a positive
attitude.
- In fact, I never used to
believe in god.
- Do you now?
- What am I missing here, Arnie?
What's the magic formula?
Is it cherry?
Blueberry?
- All of the above.
- Me, I just
have the book of Arnie.
- What's that?
- Let's see what psalm 14 has to
say.
- I want you to know
that drinking isn't the answer.
Take it from me.
It prolongs your depression.
- Thou shalt not drink. Praise
Arnie.
- How many pies has a
gal gotta bake before you
take a hint and ask her out?
Oh, because sooner or later
she's gonna open up
her stupid mouth hoping
that you'll rescue her.
Please tell me you're following
me, Arnie.
- You want to go out?
- Pick me up at seven?
- Yes ma'am.
- We just grew apart.
And now he thinks some cheap
advice is gonna fix everything.
- Well he is not gonna be an
issue
for the next little while, so I
think
we should...
Remove him from the apartment.
- All messages deleted.
- I'm half empty without you.
Marines don't cry.
You're all I got.
And I love you so much.
- Hi.
- - Hello.
- New sheets!
- Is it too early to
fall in love with you?
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't
realize you were awake.
- I've been here for so
long without going home.
- Tess! Look at me.
For the first time in
ages I meet someone who
makes me feel at peace, and what
do I do?
I get so excited...
That I smother her.
I'm really not like this.
I'm just so happy.
- I'm happy too.
But there's...
There's something about
me that you don't know.
I can't have children.
- That's it? You can't have
kids?
- That's what...
My scar is from.
I was pregnant...
Something went wrong so they
took it
out of me, they...
They took it all out of me.
- Tess, I don't want kids.
- You say that now.
- Thought about it
upside down and sideways.
No interest.
- Charles wanted kids more than
he wanted me.
- Maybe he's the one
who's missing something.
He let the perfect contessa
slip through his fingers.
- You think I'm perfect?
- Oh, I love having you here.
- That was...
I've always felt like
I've been alone before.
I think that's the first
time I've ever made love.
- What's happening here?
- I've never felt so close so
fast.
- So how's the billster doing
with soccer?
- Oh, pretty good.
He's gotta hit the field more,
but uh,
he's all obsessed with this blog
of his.
- You gotta beat that art
shit right out of him.
Trust me, you don't want him to
end up
like one of these whack jobs.
- It tickles!
Is it a puppy dog?
- Uh-uh.
- Is it a truck?
- Nope.
- Is it a pair of pants?
- Ha, wrong!
Now press back,
and hold still.
- I can do that.
- Can you now?
- It's a cactus.
- It's not a cactus!
I think it looks like us.
Our own little private
expression.
- Uh-oh.
But now the rest of the
place looks super bland.
- Yeah!
You're right!
How dare this goddamn place be
so boring!
- We have to fight against it!
- Yeah!
- Delivery, paint.
- Just leave it.
- I need a signature, please.
This is all the...
That we had left over.
- Leave!
- Pardon me?
- - Leave!
- What about the Dolly?
- Charge me.
- Oh, I'm gonna charge you.
- That's gonna dry like that.
- Well...
Who needs heat?
- I feel like we need some
music.
- Yeah, that's a fantastic idea.
- I'm starting to believe in
god.
- Really?
- I think you're god.
- Then you must me god too.
That means that I can
actually learn about god
by studying you.
- That's gonna take a long time.
- Shh!
There is no time in here!
- What do you mean, there's
no time in your apartment?
- This is...
Candiland.
&k there goes my heart
&k it goes... &k
no calendars, no clocks, no
time.
- No more social media
judgements.
- Mm-mm.
- I'll do it if you do it.
- I'll do it.
I'm doing it!
&k there goes my heart &k
- I am king Peter, and
you are queen contessa!
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- The citizens
of Candiland are not safe.
- No one is a match for
the 50 foot librarian!
- The army is in its way!
We're gonna take her down,
that's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna throw
everything we've got at her.
If she thinks that she
can come to our city
and, oh no, she's coming!
- I am coming for you.
- We meet again, gigantor man!
You really think you can handle
this?
- I came here to bend you over
the bed.
- I can't kiss you!
I can't kiss you.
Aw, your nose!
- Malfunction, malfunction.
- What is our purpose?
I mean, if we are god, and well,
we are...
Who are we helping,
because isn't the meaning
of life to help others?
- Well we're helping each other.
- I guess so.
- Well...
Maybe we need to help each other
first,
and then we'll figure
out how to help others.
We need to meld together first.
Become as close as possible.
- Peter...
- Hm?
- Will you marry me?
- Right now?
Absolutely, of course!
What do you mean, like the
merging of two dualities?
Should we do it right now?
- No, no, no I think we should
think about it, and then do it
right.
- Well, okay, so how should we
do it then?
- Um, well we have to write our
vows.
- He's not there?
Thank you, sir.
- Okay, enough with the phone.
- England's got a lot of hotels.
- If he wanted you to
have his phone number,
he would've called you.
- You ready?
- Yes!
Okay.
Ta-da!
- Wow.
- Peter needs to get
back on the right track,
and I am what he needs.
- No, he needs to jump out of
the nest.
He needs to spread his wings.
He doesn't need his father
telling him what to do.
- Where are your papers and
everything?
- Mm, shh.
King Peter, I want to live here
in Candiland with you
forever.
- Hold it!
I'm not just his father,
I'm his everything.
- Wow.
- - Yes wow.
- So you smothered the poor
boy, and now you're gonna
fix everything by smothering him
again?
- Queen Tessa...
I wanna live here with you
in Candiland forever.
- What I'm telling you is-
- you just want to be in
control.
- Is that you, Arnie?
- - Yes.
- Well...
You don't always have to be the
leader.
- And so we are one.
- Maybe you should try
following.
- Yes ma'am.
- I love you, Peter.
Good morning, honey lover.
- Did I notice any strange
smells?
You know I live right next
to the garbage chute, right?
And I work at a chemical plant.
And my girlfriend's an escort.
So I'm kinda, like,
used to weird smells.
- Okay, well did you
notice anything unusual
from the guy living in 619?
- Nah, he seemed like a
pretty cool dude actually.
- Peter, can you hear me?
- I'm worried about my knee.
- Well, there are surgical
procedures that we can do, but
nothing is 100%.
We can help you get your
quality of life back though.
- Will any of these things
result in me
playing tennis again?
- No.
No.
I know you don't want to believe
this, but
you're a lucky man.
- But tennis is all I have.
- Cold.
Well you're gonna have to
start looking at the world
a little bit differently, Peter.
You look around,
you'll find something worth
living for.
- And that's it?
- Yes, you hear me Peter?
- There's nothing else you can
do for me?
- There is one thing, doctor.
- Yes, yes there is one thing.
One thing that will solve
all of your problems,
get you back on the court by
Monday.
- Really, what is it?
Please tell me, I'll try
anything.
- It's the fresh scent of
bright beam laundry detergent.
Oh, nothing leaves a softer-
&k bright beam &k
- bright beam laundry detergent.
Nothing gets your clothes...
- Peter?
What's going on?
- Nothing.
The television broke.
It's nothing.
And who needs it.
Who needs time?
Force me into some pointless
routine.
I'm not a slave to schedule
anymore!
- Hey!
Hey, what the fuck man?
Hey, you can't leave your
fucking shitty TV here, man.
What the fuck?
Hey!
I'm calling the manager, fuck
face.
Hey man, come on.
- Someone will take the set
away.
It's not that big a deal.
- Let's just have a little
conversation about you
and where you place your
TV man, that's it man.
Just me and you and my fist in
your face.
- Guy's probably got a
list of sins a mile long
but he's Mr. Consumatic!
Screaming like a jackass
at another human being!
- You got some serious fucking
issues.
You know what?
I'm gonna keep this fucking
clock.
This is fucking mine.
- I don't want to go out there.
- All the way up and
down this fucking hallway
you piece of shit!
Fucking asshole.
Dick.
- It'll go away.
- What's it like for you
not being able to have kids?
- I feel...
Broken.
I feel trapped
inside the body that killed my
baby.
- Tess...
You are the most beautiful woman
that I've ever met.
- I'm hideous.
- You're gorgeous.
You have a beautiful face,
and a painfully sexy body.
- You're the first person to
ever make me feel attractive.
- Well, you've been with the
wrong people.
You are the perfect woman.
And these...
Are the perfect breasts.
- They don't feel perfect.
- What do they feel like?
- Tombstones.
I miss my baby.
How do you miss someone that
you've never even met?
- It's okay, Tess.
You can let it out.
I'm here.
- Don't make me break this door
down.
I've been the nobel's office.
Food is delivered here every
week.
- Is this how my night's
gonna go right now?
I'm just gonna have people
yelling at every goddamn door?
Can I help you, man?
- Get back in there.
- The fuck is going on here?
- Stay in there!
- I'm calling the cops you
motherfucker!
- Call 'em, dummy.
- You can't even live
your own life, old man!
- You don't know what's going on
anymore!
- The second I find happiness
here you are desperate to take
it away.
- Peter, come on, this is your
father.
- Well not this time!
- Hm.
- I am a legal adult now,
and there ain't a goddamn
thing that you can do
to get into this place.
- I like that, I like that
attitude.
- I hate you!
- For god's sake.
- I hate you, and I
don't want anything ever
to do with you ever again.
- I'm dismissed.
- I'm free now.
You answered my prayers.
- Did you get it?
- What?
Did I get what? What're you
talking about?
You asked me if I got it.
What did I get?
- I'm sorry Peter, I just woke
up.
I must've been dreaming or
something.
Peter moping so long!
- Sorry. I upset dad.
- Yeah?
He's gone!
Been long gone since a long
time.
What would you like for...
Food time?
Ooh!
Need help?
- No.
Cookies.
- Perfect.
Oopsie!
- Tess!
What is it?
- I saw it, I saw it.
- Saw what?
- The date.
The date was on the receipt.
The time, I saw the time.
- I know.
- You do?
- - Yes.
- We communicate...
- Without talking.
- I miss not knowing that it's
march 21st.
- Hey...
Gone.
Here.
Replaced.
- What're we doing here?
- Making a statement.
- What's that?
- That life can be giggles and
crunch.
Giggles and crunch?
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Squiggles and scrunch!
- Where's that water coming
from?
- It's slow leak from the
ceiling.
Looks like they tried to
stuff paper in it to plug it.
It's just mush now.
- Do you ever wonder if they're
happy?
I mean now that they're not
secretly sneaking around
behind everyone's backs,
where's the excitement?
I mean, would it be gone?
Because they have now
had to make the switch
from being irresponsible
to being responsible,
and I don't think that Charles
could be
that kind of a husband
to someone, you know?
He's always gonna wanna
be distracted by other
things, and not really giving
his whole...
- You know, I don't want to
hear about Charles anymore.
- But you keep asking me
questions.
- And they all lead you
to talking about him
and I'm sick and tired
of hearing his name.
- Well he was kind of
a big part of my life-
- I know, I know, I know!
I know. I know.
But he's not anymore.
And I'm sick and tired of
thinking about his hands on you.
I want us to forget about that
time.
All of our energy should
be put into today.
Into us.
- My past is a big part of who I
am.
- I know my darling, but let's
just
say that history molded you
into the wonderful person
that you are, and be done with
it.
- But...
No, all week all we've been
talking about
is me, we haven't talked about
you at all.
- There's nothing worth knowing,
really.
- No fair!
Uh-uh.
You haven't told me anything
about...
The accident.
- Ah.
I'm sorry.
Car hops the curb and nails me.
It was a drunk idiot.
Totally his fault.
And I got a huge cash
settlement.
But still, everyone else managed
to
get out of his way.
Except for me,
the tennis pro.
- Babe...
- And that was that.
I love you, Tess.
- I love you, Peter.
- I want to wash my
past away from my hands.
I want you to wash your past
away too.
Can you do that for me?
- Okay.
No more past.
- I don't know Donnie,
it's been like 10 years
since I've been out dancing.
Charles never-
- uh-uh.
Tonight has nothing to do with
Charles.
- It isn't even final yet!
- It is for him!
I mean, Jesus, he already
shacked up with that
blonde slut, spending his
nights-
- it's not like I'm
gonna have revenge sex.
- Right, you should
totally deny yourself sex,
that way it will teach him a
lesson.
- I can't believe you
talked me into this skirt.
This skirt is ridiculous.
- Your ass is ridiculous!
Smile, pretty girl!
Oh my god, you look so pretty!
- So how're you supposed to meet
someone
when you have to shout to talk?
- No, no, it's not about
talking.
Just be, go like this, go
like this: Just like...
You're just looking around,
you're having fun, it's
just so much fun to be here.
Okay, it's never worked that
fast before.
Bye!
Excuse me ladies, pardon me,
sorry.
Oh my god, the lighting is
so much better over here.
Isn't it? Hi, I'm Donnie.
I'm not even high yet.
- What'll you have?
- I'll try a shot of that
picaberry blue.
- No, no, no, get her something
different.
Anything else she wants, just
not that.
- You look a little
young to buy me a drink.
- Tess, stop.
- Bye Donnie.
Thank you for introducing
me to the man of my dreams.
- Honey, you don't have to do
this.
There's a way for you to keep
Peter
and your sanity, all you have
to...
All you have to do is...
- Goodbye Charles.
I hope it hurts.
Sometimes.
- What? What's going on?
- Peter, Peter, Peter.
I love you, I love you.
I just want to be here and
now, just like you said.
Just us forever and
ever and ever and ever.
- Comfy!
- - Out.
- Why?
- - Out!
- Where?
- - Bathroom.
- Hurry!
- Yes.
- Why do you
terrorize yourself so much?
- Oh, oh, oh, settle.
- I'm comfy.
- - Settle.
Peter?
Looser.
- Why?
- Loose!
- Comfy!
- - Up.
- Where?
- - Bathroom.
- No!
- Yes!
- Me too?
- Okay, come.
Peter...
No, you're too close!
I mean always.
Sorry, terrible sorry, so sorry.
- Die.
- Please no.
No, Petey, Petey.
I love you so!
Peter?
- Kitchen.
- Me too?
- Come then.
Call from: God.
- You can coach,
you can go back to school.
We'll find something together.
We'll figure this out.
- Your ass is ridiculous!
Hey.
Hey you!
Mind if I take a peek?
- What're you having?
- I will have anything.
And I mean anything
other than that picaberry
bullshit whatever.
- Don't like sweet drinks?
- Just that I don't like
being told what to drink
while I try and take a piss.
But that's too much to ask
for nowadays, ain't it?
- I suppose.
Try this on.
- What'll you have?
- I'll try a shot of that
picaberry blue.
- No, no, no.
Get her something different.
Anything else she wants, just
not that.
- You look a little
young to buy me a drink.
- What's your name?
- Tess.
- Tess.
Contessa.
Tessa.
- One more.
- Bye bye, I gotta cut out.
- Oh, we have to go already?
- Uh, yeah right no.
We...
- You look great together!
What a nice couple!
Oh my gosh you look like his
mom.
- Shut up!
- Oh my gosh, I hear that
young man's got a car.
Good for you.
Sometimes it feels like...
Wow.
- Ow.
What number do you live in?
- I don't know, just pick a
door.
- What number do you live in?
- I don't even know if
this is the right building.
- Wait, wait, stop!
- What?
- I don't know your name.
What is your name?
- Peter.
- Peter.
Okay, you may resume.
Oh Peter.
Peter!
- What?
- What's going on?
You're sitting there like there's
something you want to say.
- Thinking.
- Share.
- No.
- Well I need an outlet.
You can take all of this stuff
and you can
compose it in your head, but...
I need something else.
- Outlet.
- Read?
- Why?
- Oneness.
- My Peter.
Okay?
- Uh-huh.
- Petey?
- Hm?
- I'm devoted to you.
I love you so.
- Why do you terrorize
yourself so much in your sleep?
- Why do you
keep wrecking Candiland?
- Because you seek perfection.
- Guilt is an end you
dissect in my every word
looking for something
that you can lord over me.
- Do you think I want to be
saved?
- Once you believe that the
bad dreams will go away.
- Why am I here?
You don't dare answer that
question.
Do you?
Do you?
- What're you doing,
you're just whispering to me in
my sleep?
- Happy thoughts, Petey!
Just wanting closeness.
Petey?
- Not ready.
- I miss you so much.
- I...
- Please...
- Oh, stinky.
Please.
- No.
- Stinky!
Please, needs cleaning!
- Cleansing?
- Yes!
Stinky place needs cleaning.
- Yes.
You need cleansing.
This is Candiland,
and in Candiland there is
all the time in the world.
I want to wash my past away from
my hands.
I want you to wash your past
away too.
Can you do that for me?
- It's not your
fault that I died inside you.
It was my fault.
If only I could've been
someone you could like.
- You locked the door!
- I'm sorry, so sorry.
- Who hurt my contessa?
- My poor Tess.
- Fix it!
- There.
- My king.
- Now they'll all worship you,
and you will rule over
them forever and ever.
And they will never curse you...
Again.
- But after a day,
what is a day?
But with some reflection,
I always understand
his motives.
Perhaps that is where I'm meant
to be.
It'll help make sure everyone
understands
what I am writing.
What am I writing?
If Peter is god, and
this is an experiment...
Then what I'm writing is...
Peter!
We're saints!
And, and maybe you're the
Messiah!
And these together,
they illustrate it all.
They're a new gospel.
Together?
- Together.
Call from: God.
- He's leaving a message.
Call from: God.
- Hello?
- God, my boy,
it's good to hear you voice.
Listen, do you think we might be
able
to get together sometime?
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Okay, so you're the new
Messiah.
- Not yet.
Not yet.
We're not cleansed yet.
We're not ready.
- He says cleansed a lot.
I can't remember the
last time I saw him eat.
He's seeking some form of
enlightenment.
If I am to be a good wife,
if I am to be a Saint,
I need to find a way to join
him.
- Oh wow, Arnie!
I didn't know you were
so good with your hands.
- When you're in the marine
corps
you learn how to tenderize the
feet
for the marching and the combat.
You know, when Peter turned
pro we were on the road
a lot, and I didn't want
something like
a sore shoulder to slow us down.
I know he's all I talk about.
- More like obsess about.
- It's just hard to shake off.
All that time building a
perfect future for my boy,
and it's gone.
- I cleaned for you.
- You peeked.
- - Peeked?
At your drawings?
No I didn't.
- You did.
- Trash!
Out.
- No.
- The garbage, it'll come
back and it'll haunt you.
- Haunt?
- Uh-huh, haunt.
The trash will haunt you.
- Curse?
- That's right.
Old, moldy, smelly garbage is a
curse.
- My son wanted to be a doctor.
I remortgaged the house,
I sold everything I could,
worked a second job,
all to try and get him
through medical school.
- And what happened?
- Well, he became a doctor.
Got a good practice, good house.
And every once in a while if I'm
lucky
he sends me a Christmas card.
- Come on, Peter!
Let's not play this game
anymore, just talk to me!
- No.
Don't curse me.
- Relax, it's just the food.
Who is it?
- Delivery.
- You can just leave it out
there, please.
- Okay.
- Stand down!
- No!
- Oh my god.
- Daddy!
- Oh, son.
You're not eating.
- I'd die first!
- The great tragedy in life is
not death,
it's what dies inside of
you while you're living.
- I'm not a fucking robot
that you can just keep
programming.
- No, but you're becoming a
robot that has no program.
- Peter says if he had
a gun he would kill you.
- Well he doesn't have,
so I'm safe and so are you.
I'm keeping my eye on you buddy.
Oh damn.
There's nothing in there.
There's no nutrition!
Nothing but stupid stuff.
This is not an attack.
This is a rescue mission.
- You phony prick!
You never loved me.
- I do love you.
- No you don't!
- I do love you!
I'll be back.
With more reinforcements.
I'm gonna make my point with
you, son,
and you're gonna get it.
That's my mission here.
You can yell and scream all you
want
but I do not fail.
Oh boy.
- What're we gonna do?
Stop it, Peter!
I'm not perfect yet.
- You tried to be
separate, you let him in.
Refused to be cleansed.
- He forced his way in.
- Don't even try to know my
thoughts!
- He knocked me against the door
and it really hurt.
Okay, what number am I thinking
right now?
- You let him in.
- You don't know because
you can't read my mind,
but I guess that's my fault too.
- And now you're lying about it.
- See, you tried to say that
you're being one with me
but, you know, it's nothing
but excuses to talk to you.
Wrong.
You keep sabotaging everything.
- Me?
Draw.
Just work it out.
Write it down.
- I could kill you so easily.
- You can't kill me, cause then
we can't finish the gospel.
No, you must protect me.
It's our work.
- My work!
- I will haunt you!
I will come back and I will
screech and I will hiss
at all hours, and then I will
find your father and I will
haunt him too, so much that
I'll make him come back here
and find you and he'll put
you in the place where they
keep the fucking loonies.
So draw!
Put down what you...
What you're feeling.
I know now that it's pain
that motivates Peter.
How I loathe to hurt him, but he
needs it.
He gathers his strength
by rallying against it.
But I must not abuse this power.
It can only be used for
the good of the gospel.
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart &k
- police, open up!
You won't answer the phone.
- Daddy!
- I've got the police here
to force their way in.
- Daddy, please go away.
- No!
I'm not going away.
- Peter, this is officer Bauer.
Open the door, please.
- Daddy...
If you love me-
- shut up!
You open the door now.
- I can only get through this
without you,
do you understand?
- You need my help!
Open up the door!
- No!
- Well I got news for you,
I'm gonna force this door open.
- If you do, I'll never forgive
you.
- Sir, we can't just bust
down someone's door without
just cause.
- Are you worried
about his safety?
- I'm his father.
That's why I'm pushing hard.
And maybe I should be
using a gentler approach.
I don't know how to do that.
- That tends to be more
effective in these situations.
- Here's my card.
If things escalate we
can always come back,
try this again.
- Yes ma'am.
Well thank you both very much.
- Good luck.
- Peter, I've sent the police
away.
Are you still there?
- Yes.
- This is good, us
having a talk like this.
Do you feel it's good?
- No.
- I appreciate it even more.
I want to know how your lady
friend in there is doing?
She's beautiful.
You better be treating
her like the lady she is.
- Go away, dad.
- I love you, son.
I'll come back tomorrow and
we can talk some more then.
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
That's a good answer.
- Maybe.
- I heard you.
I like it when you're talking to
me.
Keep feeling that!
- What? What did I do?
- No more curses.
- I didn't curse anything.
- How did it get in?
- What?
- That thing that you were
chanting.
- That?
That's just an old tune from
a stupid dog food commercial.
- Do you want some dog food,
Tess?
- Ow, ow, no I don't!
- This place could be paradise
but you keep letting them in!
- Letting what in?
Peter!
Peter, gather your thoughts for
me.
- They could've used
psychology to cure the sick.
They'll trick us into
remembering useless garbage.
Useless, pointless garbage!
Filling up our head until we
can't think straight anymore.
You don't have any privacy.
You consistently look at me
with that confused expression
on your face because
you really don't care.
Because you can't think straight
enough
to realize what you lost!
- Peter!
Stop just staring off
into space like that.
If you have something in your
head
you have to share it with me.
- No!
You'll pollute it.
You'll curse it.
- How?
It was just a little jingle.
- That doesn't bother you?
- No!
No please!
Please stop! Please!
We're making our own experiment.
Peter, we're...
We're creating.
We're our own gods in our own
universe.
God must have Satan: You.
- No, please don't do this.
I love you so much and I just
want
us to be happy and serene!
From now on I write in code,
a simple one I taught
myself in high school.
Apparently I'm not working fast
enough.
I'm falling too far behind.
I must find a way, I
need to get to his level.
This'll be my mission.
It will not fail.
I must know, I must understand
why he
did that to me.
- Well let's get some more
light on this freak show.
- The thing is, is that, uh,
I didn't really talk to the guy
that much.
We didn't hang out that much.
- I doubt we'll ever find the
motive here.
- I sent him an e-vite to go
hang out
maybe go on a double
date, but he seemed busy.
- How?
- - Easily.
- Why?
- To give me more time.
- Ah, but there is no time in
here.
- But there's still wasted
moments.
- I don't think I understand
this one.
- You will.
- Mm-mm, how do you transcend
needing sex?
- Easily.
- I don't think you know
how this makes me feel.
- Think about it.
The one desire that they use
as a catalyst to manipulate you.
- But what about us?
Our oneness?
- Think about how close we will
be now.
We'll be forced to create
more complex ways to connect.
Richer, deeper.
- Get up.
You stink.
Go take a shower.
Go!
Steam will do you good.
Asshole.
You son of a bitch!
Transcending sex, my ass!
You can kidnap me, you can abuse
me,
but you will not fucking ignore
me!
Come on, bring it back.
Bring it back, bring it back!
Bring it back, it's mine!
Yeah.
It's mine.
Oh it's fucking mine
and don't you forget it!
It is mine!
No!
No!
You could've waited.
- I could have.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
- Yeah?
Take out the trash.
- Hungry?
- Die.
- Write, contessa.
- Don't do that.
- Look how easy I let you go.
- Tess is onto a better place.
- Any shape that you wanted.
- A better plateau
of love, kindness, trust, and
truth.
Funerals are very important.
- They're still here.
- One who
has died, has passed on.
- Little tiny
hooks inside my head.
- Unknown caller.
- What?
- Greetings and
good morning to you sir.
I'm from JC marketing.
We have a survey we'd like you
to do
that'll take no time at all.
- That's not possible.
- Oh, well we were just
wondering
how often do you vacation up
north?
- My god, how did you find me?
What do I have to do to get
a moment's peace around here?
I just wanted one moment!
- How are we gonna order food?
- We have plenty of food.
- This is actually a nice
apartment.
- God knows what they od'd on.
- Uh, I don't think it was
drugs.
I think they starved themselves
and died of malnutrition.
- You do know that when we run
out of food
we're gonna have to go to a
neighbor's
and use their phone to
order more groceries.
- Yes.
We will.
- You happy, son?
- Not ignorant.
I can't be.
- The best way to stay happy
is let go of the pain.
You're in pain now,
let it go.
- Why couldn't we have
talked like this more?
- Peter's genius
is becoming clearer to me.
Hunger turns in to knowledge.
And now I stand next to the
truth.
And the world will soon...
And the world will soon be able
to relish in in his brilliance.
- Okay, so the cab is
gonna be here in 20, and...
Where are your bags?
- You didn't get my message?
- Oh shit.
- They're dying in there.
They're wasting away to nothing.
- These tickets are
nonrefundable.
- But I did what you said;
I stopped trying to control him.
You know, Peter needs to
talk or all of his thoughts
build up inside him and
he hasn't been the same
since his mother died.
- So? Have you?
He just wants to sit and
wallow in his own self pity
for a while, and you
want to help him do it?
This vacation is the best thing
that could happen for you.
And for him.
- I can't, I just...
- How are you supposed
to teach him about living
if you don't?
Now I want you to go back your
bags
and I want...
Okay Arnie.
You go give Peter what he needs.
You'll know where to find me.
- I'm not afraid.
There's no sacrifice here.
I'm too anxious, too desperate
for us to reach the
next realm of our worry.
My words will survive.
I've made sure Peter can't harm
them.
- Got a bit of a problem here.
- What?
- He don't seem to want to let
go.
Maybe if I just-
- oh, no, take "m together.
Figure it out.
I want them out of here
before the press shows up
and tries to turn this into a
thing.
Samson, come on!
- Yeah, sorry boss.
- I am king.
I am king.
I am king.
Call from: God.
Call from: God.
- Time to cleanse.
- I know you
feel like your life is over.
- Cleanse.
- But that's not true.
It's just beginning.
You need to learn to laugh
in the face of death.
- Here, fixed!
- Turn around.
- Oh, you're a tennis player?
- Well I used to be. Drunk
driver.
- Well I bet you're good.
- I just picked the
wrong day to go outside.
- Shh.
It's okay, dad.
I'm almost cleansed.
I hate you!
- Look at you, come here!
You don't hate me!
You can't hate me because
my love for you is
so strong you can't defeat it!
You don't hate me, you
don't know what hate is.
Don't do this to yourself.
You can't do it to me anymore,
cause I'm not gonna let you.
- Cleanse.
- Die! Die!
- You have to do something.
Knife through the heart,
together.
- Six minutes.
- Six minutes.
- That's how long it
took to get the job done.
Six minutes.
- We can do better than that.
- Next time.
- We can do it better.
I read my pizza.
- Oh, sorry about that.
- You missed a spot.
- Look at me!
Look at me!
- You look adorable.
- You have a way of
making a girl
feel very special.
- Just you.
- Um...
Uh...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's just really fast.
- It felt so different.
It just felt, uh-
- wonderful, it felt wonderful.
I don't mean to suggest that...
We can't find something special.
I'm just feeling really
overwhelmed.
- Then why not stay?
- What?
- I mean, why not have a two-night
stand at the very least?
- A moment's peace.
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart
&k there goes my heart &k
- I love you.
- I love you too.