Cannibal Cabin (2022) Movie Script
1
[eerie music playing]
[woman screaming distantly]
["Said And Done"
by Andrew Kopacz playing]
- [Roxi exhales]
- [Jamie laughs]
[Roxi] Stop that, or else
I'm pushing you in there later.
- [Danny laughs]
- [Jamie] You know,
I got a better idea.
Why don't we just
throw Danny in instead?
- Oh, I'd love to see you try.
- [Roxi] Yeah.
[Danny] Yeah, well,
I'll tell you what, you're
going to have to stop this car.
- And we'll see.
- [Roxi chuckles]
[Jamie] Oh, beautiful.
[groans]
[grunts]
- Babe.
- Okay, okay, I'm pregnant.
I'm not helpless.
Go unpack the boot, yeah?
I'll be out in a minute.
[sighs]
So tell me how you managed
to scoop this place
all to yourself again?
Well, from what Mary tells me,
it's been unused for years.
Under new management.
And as long as we pay
for the Skis
and stick to our cabin,
we can have the whole place
to ourselves for the weekend
- for the price of one night.
- Oh, nice.
Huh. Right,
let's make it interesting.
If you win, I will fork the bill
out for the weekend, alright?
Alright, and if I win?
[blows raspberries]
Finally make an honest woman
out of my stepsister.
You know that's
the whole reason
we've come away.
Yeah, but you're a pussy.
Look, you're gonna lose
your nerve, just like
you will on that lake.
This way, if you don't man up
and pop the question,
I'll do it for you.
[sighs] Right, are you
gonna unpack or what?
Uh, Danny thinks we should
head up the lake first.
Got all weekend to unpack.
Might as well enjoy the Jet Skis
while the weather's nice.
Don't want Jamie wondering
why he's trailing behind me.
Right, well, you boys
go play with your toys,
I'm off to find the cabin.
Aw, thanks, babe.
Um, we won't be long.
I'll come find you
in a bit, yeah?
It's fine, I could do
with the fresh air.
Mm.
Oh. Alright, alright,
put her down.
Starting to see third-wheeling
with your stepsister
and her boyfriend
- was a bad idea.
- Why don't you shut your mouth?
Make yourself useful
and go and get me a wetsuit.
[sighs] Alright. Jesus.
Don't go too far.
I won't be long.
Who has a bonfire
in the middle of summer?
Country bumpkins having
a spring clean, that's who.
Fucking weirdos.
That is the last time Jamie
gets to pick the vacation spot.
I mean, he said it was a work
in progress, but come on.
[sighs]
Home sweet home.
Oh. [sighs]
[instrumental music
playing distantly]
["Turn Around" by ONLAP playing]
Whoo!
Looks like you're gonna have
to put the pedal to the metal
if you plan on beating me.
I'm just saving it, mate.
Yeah, if you say so.
You know, I, uh...
I'm gonna go check in
on Roxie.
Leave her.
She's probably in her element
without us two annoying her.
I'll be two minutes.
Why don't you get
another practice lap in?
You are so whipped, my friend.
- [imitates slashing]
- Oh, am I?
I'll tell you what,
why don't you go and practice?
See you in a minute.
- Is that how it is, is it?
- Yeah.
Whoo!
Hello?
[instrumental music
playing continues]
[clattering in the distance]
- [toy squeaks]
- [gasps]
[muffled scream]
[Danny screaming distantly]
Danny?
[heavy breathing]
Ah, fuck.
Danny?
Shit. What the fuck?
Roxi!
[panting]
What the fuck?
Roxi!
[gun cocks]
[grunts]
[groaning]
[suspenseful music playing]
[sobbing]
[low growl]
[door closes]
[muffled crying]
[indistinct noises]
[slicing, squelching]
[Danny yells] Roxi!
[man grunts]
No, no! No! No!
[screaming]
["Good For You" by THBD playing]
- [Jonah] What the hell, man?
- Sorry, man.
Okay, that's everything.
Enough chilling,
let's hit the road.
[sighs] Chill out man,
we've still got
a whole day to get there.
And besides,
Matt's gonna call Tommy
and make sure they keep us
a good plot on the site.
Thanks, by the way.
Faye, right?
That's right.
[sighs] For a minute
I thought I was gonna have
to keep calling you
"hot festival girl" in my head.
Ah...
Uh, Faye's--
Faye is a lovely name.
[exhales]
So, I hear you met Jen
in the toilet.
[chuckles] Well, yeah,
if you can call a bush
behind the stage a toilet.
I-I call any bush a toilet.
- [sniffs]
- You know...
that shit will mess up
your brain.
[scoffs] What brain?
Uh, mate, can you smoke
that shit away from us? Please.
Yeah, mum. I'll ask
for permission to wipe
my ass later too.
Yeah, but it's barely
even the afternoon.
Do you really need to get
your high this early?
- Yeah.
- So, Faye, um,
won't your friends wonder
where you got off to?
Well, I didn't really have
anyone with me
to wonder where I went.
You went to Reading Festival
on your own?
Yeah, well, I mean,
I didn't really meet
a lot of people at uni.
And my family
are a bunch of freaks,
so I tend to be
kind of a lone wolf.
Well, uh, you're with us now.
And from the sounds of it,
this festival is gonna be
the best one
to end the summer on.
[phone ringing]
Baby. [grunts]
I should get that.
- Mm. It can wait.
- Carly, Carly, come on.
Carly, stop, stop, stop.
Ah, T-Dogg.
How the travels going, buddy?
Don't T-Dogg me.
You tell Dingo boy
he owes me one.
Leaving me without so he can
get his leg over some hippie.
- What's that about?
- Tommy dear, stop moaning.
You love a sausage party,
got your wish with that lot.
Coming from you, hon.
Ooh, ah,
Jonah was asking if you got
your location deets okay?
Yes, mate,
we're way ahead of you guys.
Come on, let's go,
dopey cunt face.
- Don't forget to save us
a plot, yeah?
- What's that noise?
Oh. Oh, mate, we're going
under a tunnel, oh--
Come on, you joker, hurry up.
- Uh, such a twat.
- Such an asshole.
- Come on, come on,
come on. Let's go.
- Ugh.
Come on. [sighs]
So, Faye, how much longer
left of this journey?
Mm, about four or five hours.
[sighs] Great.
Oh, yes. Where have
you guys been? I thought you
were just taking a thrash.
[chuckles]
What's the big rush for?
- My van, my rules.
- Your mum's van.
[all laughing]
- What?
- He's got a point.
[Carly and Matt laughing]
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, are you alright?
Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.
Yeah. You're just a little bit
more quiet than usual, so...
I just think
it's the travelling,
it's making me feel a bit sick.
Okay, well, if you want me
to stop at any point,
just let me know, yeah?
- Okay.
- Okay.
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
Okay.
- [exhales] Okay.
- Yeah.
All the other seats were taken.
It's like a 16-seater bus.
I give them a week.
You know, they do have
the right idea though.
When you think about
how insignificant we all are.
I mean, the world's like
80 percent covered
by arthropods.
- What is that?
- They.
- Huh?
- The "they," plural.
Um, no, not like
one giant arthropod,
that would be freaking scary.
- Okay? Okay.
- Yeah. Happy?
I trust you, I think.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I-I don't know what that means.
Oh, ants, bugs, insect things.
All of them.
They-- they, plural,
build and mass-produce.
Makes you feel
kind of insignificant,
doesn't it?
Mm. [awkward laugh]
I can make you
feel special again.
Ew. Put your little snake
back in the cage.
That's a serpent,
not an arthropod.
Wow. Tsk.
That's why you're not
getting laid
this weekend, mate.
- You know?
- [chuckles]
Anyway, let's go.
- [engine starts]
- [indistinct]
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
Jesus. Jonah, what the fuck?
Stop the van.
[laughs] I can't stop the van.
I'm in the middle
of the road, so...
Please, I'm gonna be sick.
Yeah, if she's gonna be sick,
do that outside.
It's gonna smell like shit
in here, otherwise.
Yeah, okay, but I'm in
the middle of the road,
I can't stop here.
Look around the corner,
there'll be somewhere
to pull in.
- Can you wait a minute?
- Mm-hmm.
[engine stops]
Oh, God.
Yeah, she almost
did that in here.
[Jen continues vomiting]
Such a dick.
Do you think she drank
too much last night?
I haven't seen her
drink in days.
[Matt] I mean, it's probably
just all the travelling.
I mean, this summer
has been fun, but I am so ready
for my bed next week.
[Matt sighs] Jonah,
give Tommy a call,
see where he's at.
No signal.
Just poppin' outside.
- [tires screeching]
- Fuck! Bloody hell?
- You fucking prick!
- What the fuck is wrong
with that twat?
[exhales sharply]
Sorry, Jonah, that's my fault.
No, no, don't be.
That stupid prick was going
a hundred mile an hour.
Yeah, people around
these places are crazy.
That's what happens
when you're this far
from civilization.
Well, if we catch up with him,
he's gonna be sorry.
Oh, yeah, he really seemed
like the kind of guy
that'd be bothered
by what you think, mate.
- Oh, funny bugger today,
ain't ya?
- Good try.
Alright, Jonah, help me out
with directions, yeah?
Nah, nah, nah,
that's Jen's role.
Uh, no, it's not.
She's not feeling great.
- Hey, you volunteered
yourself, buddy.
- When?
- I didn't.
- [chuckles]
There. See?
We just passed that.
Which took us onto this road.
Looks like another five miles up
when we come to a crossroad.
And the quickest route back
to the main road is on the left.
- Yeah, thank you.
- [sighs]
Charge your bloody phone, T-Dog.
Living in the Stone Age,
no internet.
[Chris sighs]
Guys, we've got a problem.
- You said left, right?
- [Chris] Shit.
I mean, there's gotta be
another way around.
Oh, yeah, well,
it looks like this right lane
eventually leads
back to the motorway,
but it looks like
it's a good old journey around.
Well, we're not blessed
with many other options, are we?
So, um, Faye
have you been this way before?
No, that lane was usually
a main reason
I came by this way.
Cut off a third of the journey
by missing traffic.
Did Tommy have
this problem, Jonah?
Can't we just cut our losses
and go back
the same way we came?
I tried with my 30 seconds
of signal, but his phone
was off, classic Tommy.
Uh, we just spent two hours
getting this far.
You're suggesting
we go back two hours,
uh, head off probably
in the middle of rush hour
back where we started?
Mate, mate, mate, she was only
offering a suggestion.
[Chris] I hate to say this,
but I think I agree with Jonah.
I think we need to crack on.
I mean, I don't think
I even have the petrol
to do Carly's option anyway.
This is perfect.
So we don't have enough petrol
to do the sensible option,
but we have enough to go driving
into the middle of nowhere?
It-it doesn't look like
that big a detour.
I thought there wasn't
that much of a detour.
I ain't Christopher
fucking Columbus,
I just saw that the distance
was like this much.
That could be any amount
of distance on a map, you pleb.
Thought you came from the land
of being good with directions.
- Crocodile Dundee
will be disappointed.
- [Carly laughs]
Come on, guys, I'm sure
we'll find something soon.
Yeah, but, Faye, we've been
on this road for literally ages.
And this map is--
All the directions on this map
aren't even showing up
on the road.
Jonah, have you spoken
to Tommy yet?
No signal to get in touch
with Tommy,
and why are you
blaming me now too?
Well, maybe if you didn't
smoke so much weed,
you could actually
read directions.
Uh, my mind is as clear as day.
It's this stupid map.
It's broke or something.
- [laughs]
- You are such a dumb shit.
How can a map be broke?
You literally sound
like an idiot.
Do I look like
the kind of person
who can read a map?
I-I google everything.
And how do you think I did
half of my work at uni?
And since we're in the lovely
heart of fucking nowhere,
I don't have any signal
to google how the fucking hell
we get out of here.
Ugh, this is the last time
I'm going on a trip
with you, mate.
Oh, you say that
like I actually give
a flying fuck.
- Guys...
- Don't get me
started on you, ranger.
Oh, shut up, guys, look.
- Finally, I hope they have
a bathroom.
- And how is that gonna help us?
It won't, but for the first time
in 48 hours,
I might be able to use a toilet
rather than a bush
and some leaves.
Guys, just literally
for a second,
just quit getting
at each other's throats, okay?
We'll stop here,
we'll get some directions. Yeah?
Can't see much business
for a pub
in the middle of nowhere.
- [grunts]
- Yep.
But that's why we have
to go in and ask
because it doesn't make sense
there's a pub
in the middle of nowhere.
So, there's gotta be
a town nearby.
[sighs] Yeah, I agree.
I could kill for something
to eat too.
Yeah, well, let's go in,
ask for directions.
We can't be that far off.
Don't you think
we should bring Jen in with us?
No, let her sleep,
she hasn't been
feeling too good.
Best to let her sleep it off.
Oh, damn, that's some
funky-smelling
countryside shit.
Hello?
Is anyone in?
[bell ringing]
- I guess no one's in.
- [woman] Wipe your feet.
I like to keep a clean place.
Shitty feet, shitty place.
Wipe your feet.
Um, s-sorry, sorry. Sorry.
Um, sorry about that.
Um, I was just wondering
if you can help us.
Um, we've been going
on this road for hours
and we just need directions
to the main road.
- Can you help us with that?
- You out-of-towners,
you're always coming around here
asking for directions.
I can help.
I'll just go and speak
to my husband Corville.
He knows these roads well.
Thank you.
You think she'd mind
if I use the bathroom?
Yeah. I'd go now.
I reckon we should
get out of here
as quick as possible.
[heavy sigh]
[groans]
Next year we're going abroad.
[groaning]
[groaning]
You still fancy some tucker?
[Matt] You know what,
I think I'll be okay.
What kind of freaks
eat this shit?
That "shit" be the freshest meat
you ever hope to buy.
You clumsy twat.
You best watch your mouth, boy,
around my beautiful wife.
Sorry, sir. [chuckles]
I didn't mean to cause
any offense.
You city folk...
- City folk.
- ...think you're so much
better than us.
I tell you, that's the finest
goddamn meat you'll put
in your mouth in your life.
Too much of that old McDonald's
blended beaks crap.
- Beak.
- You don't know
what good meat is.
Jonah, you're sorry.
He's-- he's sorry.
Uh, sometimes he just-- He is--
He talks ten seconds faster
than his brain thinks, he's--
Um, your wife, um...
- Marylin.
- Marylin.
Named after Monroe.
Mummy said she's never seen
such a beauty.
More like Manson.
- [laughs]
- [Chris] Oh, shut it.
- Something funny, boys?
- Nah, mate.
She was just helping us
with directions.
Can you-- can you help us
to the main road?
- Oh, you're in the valleys now.
- Valleys.
They don't make maps
of the valleys
around these parts.
Roads your on will only
lead you to a dead end.
[mouths] Dead end.
[map rustling]
That's us here.
You wanna carry on
going in this direction
until you get
to a steel gate fence.
And you wanna follow
this red-dotted route.
Dotted route.
That will take us
to the main road?
It's right there on the map,
you can't get clearer than that.
[map rustling]
[eerie music playing]
[gasps]
[Carly screaming]
What was that?
Why the hell is there blood
on your bathroom towels?
Well, if you had the manners
to ask in the first place,
I would've told you
we've been slaughtering
this week's produce.
And I like to keep
my hands fresh on the towels.
Which I would always make sure
were clean for opening hours.
We are closed,
for your information,
Miss loudmouth, free-pissing
in my toilets, out-of-towner.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, whoa, calm down.
- You watch your language.
We're sorry, okay? We're sorry
for the inconvenience.
Thank you for your help.
Can we have the map please?
- Sure, you can.
- [sighs] Thank you.
For a fair price.
How much?
That's my best map.
I'd say 30 quid ought to do it.
Thirty quid for a map?
Well, good luck finding
your way back without it then.
No, no, it's--
That's-- that's fine, that's--
That's perfectly,
perfectly fine.
Um, 30 quid.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- [screams]
- What the fuck?
Okay, can everyone
please stop scaring
the bloody crap out of me?
- Where are we?
- Big trouble if you ask me.
- [groans]
- Don't listen to him.
We got a bit lost and stopped
to ask for directions.
Some creepy couple pointed out
the way back to the main road.
Oh, I thought
we'd be there by now.
Oh, well, I don't think
we're too far
from the main road.
Maybe like, ugh,
another hour or so?
Okay, so according to this,
the turning is just further
up this road.
Sweet.
Jen, how are you feeling?
We saw you were sleeping
so we just left you to it.
It's okay, I just don't think
I wanna spend another night
on this bus.
[laughs] Yeah, okay.
Well, once we get on the road,
we'll stop at the first hotel,
you can get a proper
night's sleep.
How about that?
Yes, Chris is putting us up
in a hotel for the night.
- Whoo!
- [laughs] Okay, yeah,
you're sleeping in the van.
Nah, it'd be more fun
without you anyway.
And then what?
In the morning we head home,
the trip's over, right?
Huh? What, you're shitting me?
Yes, I am more than happy
to go home.
Same here, I need a hot shower
and be as far from Jonah
as possible.
We come all the way
out here for nothing?
- What a letdown.
- I think it's for the best.
I can hitch a ride
in the morning.
You're more than welcome
to come with me.
I don't think
the hitching life is for me.
I guess I'll be travelling back
with this boring bunch then?
Okay, sorted. Let's go.
[engine starts]
[van revving]
Okay. Okay.
Okay. I mean, there it is,
just like he said.
Jonah, can you--
Matt, can you help me out,
mate? With the gate.
- Sure thing.
- [coughs] Cheers.
[coughing]
Jonah this. I know.
[sighs]
You wanna see me?
Yeah, well, I wanna see
why you can do it
so much better than me.
Ha-ha, you wanna see?
You wanna see?
I can be trusted.
- Well done.
- [chuckles]
Good, good job.
Okay, so supposedly we just
go down that dirt road
for about five miles.
And then we get
to the main road
and the valleys.
If you say so.
My experience of maps
today is that they lie.
Well, the thing about maps
is that they're not designed
for simple creatures
like yourself, mate.
[scoffs]
You got something
to say, say it.
- Ladies first.
- Tsk. Rude.
- Hey, you okay?
- [yawns]
Yeah, I'm just down for power.
Nearly a full moon tonight.
[clicks tongue] Oh, yeah?
You scared the werewolf
will come get you?
Nah, I don't believe
in the kid stuff.
But there is a Chinese myth
about the full moon
on the seventh lunar month.
Seventh lunar month?
You're such a loser,
just say July.
I didn't know we had
an impressionist on our hands.
That's how the myth says it
and it's actually in August,
smart-ass.
Wait, I thought I heard
it was a red moon.
Yeah, you heard wrong.
You need more useful sources.
Oh, I'm sorry,
is Ask Jeeves too out of date?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Oh, my God. You guys are like
an old married couple.
- Yeah, and he's my bitch.
- Ha-ha! He wishes.
- Anyway, back to my myth.
- Oh, so it's your myth?
Where did you come from?
I thought it was a Chinese myth.
The myth is of course Chinese
but being brought to you
by me, Jonah.
- On the seventh lunar month--
- August.
- When there's a full moon--
- Oh, not red?
- The myth goes--
- Your myth?
The Chinese myth goes that
the gates of hell will open up
and the spirits of the dead
will be free to roam the Earth
and feed.
You are full of so much crap.
It's true. They do festivals
and all kinds of stuff for it.
Wait-wait, so it's in China
that this stuff happens?
Yeah, Matt, it's a Chinese myth.
Well done for sleuthing
that one out.
What I mean is,
this only relates
if we we're in China?
- Yes.
- Which we're not.
I gathered.
So again, there's another
five minutes of my life
I'll never get back.
- Thanks, mate.
- Your parents must be so proud.
You know what? You poms
are gonna miss me when I leave.
- Shit! Ugh!
- Ah, fuck!
- Ow.
- Shit, Matt. Are you okay?
Does it look like
I'm okay? [groans]
Guys, I'm so sorry,
I-I have no idea
what's going on with the van.
Something's--
something is going on.
- What?
- I have no idea.
It's just happened.
I mean, I'll get out.
I assume it's the engine.
[Faye] Here.
This will sterilize the wound.
[Carly] Um,
who made you a doctor?
No one, but I do have
first aid training
from my time in the TA.
[heavy sigh]
It's like someone's desperate
to make sure we never get
to this festival.
You know what?
If we can't get
to this festival,
then let's bring
the party here.
- Yeah!
- [laughter]
- Party!
- Whoo!
[Matt] Jonah, have you not seen
what's just happened?
Oh, you'll be 'right,
bit of fresh air
will do you some good.
- What the hell?
- And you smell. Get out.
Come on, let's go.
- Ow, my head. My head.
- Eh, you'll be alright.
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
["Only You" by Kaedn
playing continues]
[tense music playing]
Okay, okay, sit down,
Matt. Relax.
Uh, Chris, what's happening
with the engine?
I mean, I literally
have no idea,
but I don't think
there's anything I can do.
Um, from the looks of the map,
we shouldn't be too far away
from where we need to be.
So, I think our best bet
is to walk through
and get some help.
Mm, no, Matt's not
going anywhere.
His injury doesn't look too bad,
but you can never be sure
if he has a concussion.
[Carly] Okay, so we go
get help and come back?
No, you should stay
because like Faye said,
he might have a concussion
and if he falls asleep,
he could go into a coma.
Aww. [clicks tongue]
Well, if something
were to happen,
it's probably best if I'm around
because I'm the only one
who would be able to help.
Shall I stay too?
Well, to be fair, um,
it's probably best
if you go with these guys.
Matt needs all the space
he can have to relax.
And also, if someone
does pass by, it would give us
another option for help.
[sighs] Right, I mean,
I'm ready to go.
[Carly] Okay, let's go then.
I'll see you later.
See you later.
We'll be fine, yeah.
Oh, it's so hot.
[scoffs]
Here, this will help you
with your head.
[heavy sigh] Thanks.
How's it looking?
Mm. It's really not that bad.
- [laughs]
- Yeah?
Can I tell you a little secret?
Sure.
I don't really have
any medical training.
What I should have said...
is that I'm really good
with my hands.
[heavy breathing]
And with my mouth.
- And with my whole body. Shh.
- I... I think maybe we should--
["The Cards" by LAU playing]
Fuck it.
[Jen] Sorry about
your mum's van.
[Chris] Yeah,
she's gonna be pissed.
That cigarette burn I made
on the back seat
doesn't look so bad now.
What cigarette burn, huh?
Oh, the-the secret
cigarette burn.
Whoops.
Ugh, you always know
just what to say,
don't you, Jonah?
- Chris, don't listen to him.
- [Carly] Ugh, no way.
- Oh, shit.
- Shit, shit, shit!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hey, calm down.
- No, I won't fucking calm down.
We followed that bogan's
stupid directions and it led us
to the middle of nowhere.
We've got no car, no food,
no signal, we're fucked.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sighs] Carly is gonna kill me.
Mm. [clicks tongue]
Yeah, but it was worth it.
Ugh.
Just gonna go for a leak.
Mm. Don't go too far.
It's dark outside.
I said we should've turned back
when we had the chance
when we got
to the cross section.
Well, shoulda woulda coulda
ain't gonna be of help
right now, okay?
No, no, but telling us all
to calm down is gonna
magically transport us
back to civilization
on a magic
fucking carpet, is it?
You know what,
I'm sick of your shit, okay?
All you do is moan and complain.
You're supposed to be my mate.
- Chris.
- Don't think this night
could get any worse.
Well, we could all die I guess.
What? That would be worse.
Right?
- Chris.
- Yeah?
Have a look at this.
There's a light.
[chuckles]
Well, if there's a light,
there's people, right?
Yeah, most probably.
Let's go.
Matt?
Matt?
Matt?
Matt?
Fuck! You scared me.
I'm not that scary, am I?
[chuckles]
Mm.
[screams]
[Chris] There it is.
That's weird, it doesn't
look like the place
has been used in years.
I get that, but we know
someone's here,
someone's definitely been here,
so surely if we go in
and we find anyone,
they could give us directions
to the nearest town.
Or at the very least,
use their phone, right?
- What was that?
- [sighs]
We're by the woods,
could have been anything.
You see, I grew up
in the outback.
The most dangerous
place on earth.
So I'm used to weird noises.
Probably just a couple
of animals mating.
- Okay, alright.
- I know the difference
between a scream
and the sound of a koala
fucking a kangaroo.
Yeah, that's not even
physically possible.
Unless it's a big-ass koala.
Okay, look, it's not
a big-ass koala.
We're in the middle of nowhere,
in the forest.
It-it's some random animal.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, I'm hardly Chris'
biggest fan today.
Whoa, why?
But if that was a scream,
then surely, we should be
doing everything possible
to get some help.
Yeah, I mean, I agree.
Let's crack on, okay?
Come on.
[Chris] Oh, here we go.
This place has lights on.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so electricity,
phones, they got it.
That's not--
This is what I said.
- Cool, cool.
- Right?
We're sorted.
Right, let's go over here.
- Come on.
- [Carly laughs]
[Chris] Yeah, what now?
[laughs]
Would you rather be
a wolf for a day
or a sheep for a hundred?
- A sheep for 100 days?
- Yeah.
- Or a wolf for one day?
- Yeah.
I'd rather be a wolf
for one day.
- Okay.
- Wow. Why?
God, this place is a hot spot
for dumping stuff. Look at this.
Yeah, some of these cars
don't look in too bad
condition though.
It doesn't make sense.
Do you reckon they're write-offs
and they just leave 'em here?
What's that?
Uh, looks like
a ranger's truck to me.
No, not that. This.
This is the car
Tommy was driving.
No way.
What would that car
be doing here?
Jonah, I promise you.
We FaceTimed him earlier,
it's the exact same one.
I swear it.
Oh! There's a radio in there.
Whoa!
[beeps, static sound]
Hello, is anyone there?
Can you hear me?
Huh. That's strange.
- Oh!
- Jonah!
Oh, the ghost of Tommy
is grabbing my arm.
You're such an idiot.
Tommy could be in real danger
and you're playing pranks.
[sighs]
You're just being paranoid,
this isn't that car.
Hello, is anyone there?
Me and my friends
have broken down.
One of us has a serious
head injury
and needs medical attention
as soon as possible.
Tell them Tommy is missing.
- We're hungry too, say that.
- [radio static]
What? If they're sending
medical supplies,
they can send a sandwich too.
- Ugh.
- You're unbelievable.
I'm just saying
what we're all thinking.
Shh, shh, shh.
[radio static]
Nah, this is a waste of time,
let's go.
[heavy sigh]
[Chris] Oh, look, a fuse box.
Oh, that means someone
is definitely here then.
- Ugh. I've got a bad feeling
about this.
- Don't say that.
- If this was a horror film--
- It's not.
Yeah, but if it was,
those will pretty much
be your last words.
Anything is better
than being out here
with Jonah.
- Come on, let's go inside.
- Rude.
I'm gonna stay here.
If I see anyone,
I can let you know.
Are you sure? I'd rather
we all just stuck together.
It's fine. This place
just really creeps me out.
- Okay, if you're sure.
- Just be quick.
[sighs, coughs] Okay.
Hello, is anyone in there?
Right, Jonah,
can you just go in there,
have a look around,
let us know
if you see anything, okay?
We'll be in there in...
two seconds.
Sure, nothing like
safety in numbers.
[exhales] Two seconds.
What's up?
The place is creeping me out.
[tense music playing]
Oh, fucking pig.
Haven't these guys
heard of pizza?
I'd rather eat my own spew.
Let there be light.
I mean, there's gotta be
a phone here somewhere.
What if there isn't?
What are we gonna do?
It's gonna be fine.
If there's not a phone here,
then we go back to the car
for the night.
First thing in the morning,
Jonah and I will go back
to the caf.
If we leave early enough,
we'll be back
by nighttime, so...
How's that?
- Okay.
- Yeah?
[Jonah] You've gotta be
fucking kidding me.
Shit.
Shit. Guys, guys,
we've gotta go.
Chris, Jen!
Tommy's guitar, fucking bones
on the floor-- The-the fridge--
What? Tommy's--
Jonah, what are you saying?
No, no, not Tommy,
his guitar. His guitar.
It's a fucking the warehouse
from hell over there, man.
What's Tommy's guitar
be doing here?
You're not making any sense.
I'm certain it's Tommy's,
okay? We--
There's dead people
all over the place,
we need to leave now.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
- Hide now.
- Shit.
Shit. Shit.
You gotta be kidding me.
[car door opens]
[eerie music playing]
[metal clattering]
[suspenseful music playing]
[metal clanks]
[metal slicing]
[thuds]
- [gasps]
- Shh.
[grunts]
[groans]
[sobs, coughs]
Listen to me. Listen to me.
We'll be fine, we'll be fine.
Okay they'll-- they'll
leave soon,
or they'll get to see it,
or they'll get distracted.
Then we've got to make
our move, okay? Come on.
Can you do that for me?
[heavy breathing]
I'm pregnant.
[both sobbing]
- [choking]
- [metal clanking]
[choking, groaning]
[screaming]
[squelching]
- [Matt whimpering]
- [cannibal grunting]
[heavy breathing]
[munching]
- Okay?
- [heavy breathing] Okay.
- [lips smack]
- Let's go.
[loud slam]
[whispering] Go, go, go, go, go!
[heavy breathing]
[whimpering]
[screams, whimpers]
Shh, shh, shh.
[cannibal screams]
Oh, no, no, no! [screams]
- [grunts] Jonah! Jonah!
- Oh, I'm glad to see you two.
Did you see what those
sick fucks did to Matt?
- Yeah, we saw it. We saw.
- What-- Why are they
doing this?
- We've got to go.
- They're fucking sick.
- I think they fucking
found Carly.
- Shit.
[crying]
Buggy-- the buggy.
The buggy. Come on.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- I'm trying, I'm trying,
I'm trying.
- Chris.
- What?
Please, please, please help me.
- [Carly screaming]
- [cannibal grunting]
Sick fuck! Leave me alone!
- Fuck! Go, go, go, go!
- Oh, please. [cries]
- [engine starts]
- Yes, come on. Come on.
- [cannibals grunting]
- [gasping]
Fuck. [crying]
[Carly screams, cries]
Jen, Jen, Jen! Jen! Jen!
What about Carly?
["Stunning" by LAU playing]
Chris. Chris, what about Carly?
If we stop this car, we die.
[Carly screaming]
Please! No! Sick fucks!
Leave me alone!
No, no!
[sobs] Help! Help!
He's right, he's right.
Jen, we can't go back.
You selfish pricks.
If we went back for her,
we'd all die.
What the fuck
were those things?
They're cutting each
other open, eating each other,
how can they do that?
God, one of the freaks
slashed the wheels.
- We're gonna stop.
- [whimpers]
No, no, no, fuck. No, no!
- No! No! Fuck!
- [crying]
That pub, that pub shouldn't be
too far away, let's fucking go.
Let's go there!
You reckon anyone's in?
I'm gonna check out
the back, okay?
Just be careful.
Let's check out around here.
[door creaks]
- Excuse me?
- [metal clanks]
Sorry for coming in like this.
We just, um...
We did try and find you.
I was out feeding the pigs.
Are you two okay?
Why are you covered in blood?
We followed the map
you gave us,
and it led us to a warehouse
filled with freaks.
Jonah, calm down.
Warehouse?
There's no warehouse
around here.
They knew what they were doing.
- [metal clanks]
- [thuds]
That can't be right.
Darling, I've been living
in this place for 20 years.
I think I'd know if there was
a warehouse around here or not.
They killed at least
two of our friends!
Who killed your friends?
There's these freak fucking
cannibals is who!
I told you before, boy,
you will watch your mouth
around my goddamn wife.
You're not listening to me!
[stammers]
These people, they've fucking
killed our friends.
Corville, I think we need
to call the authority.
Already done it.
I ain't taking my eyes
off of these two.
I just caught one of you trying
to thieve from my office.
What have you done to Chris?
He was just--
I didn't do nothing to that boy
he didn't have coming to him.
If you've hurt him...
You'll what, skinny legs?
Stop your threats, he's fine.
You two be the ones
in trouble soon.
Got yourselves a whole lot
of explaining to do.
He was pissed as it was that
I rung him this late at night.
When you two start giving him
your Mickey Mouse story...
[Jen] It's true.
Yeah, right, of course it is.
What is wrong with you people?
How often do people tell you
that their friends
have been killed
by some sick freaks?
- Nothing surprises us.
- Nothing.
- When it comes to you,
city folk.
- City folk.
Coming around here thinking
you can do whatever
the hell you want.
Whatever the hell you want.
Better get your story straight.
He's here.
[Grimes] Marylin.
- Evening, Corville.
- Evening.
Evening, Marylin.
Thanks for coming out so late.
We didn't know what to do.
Well, I heard you were
having some trouble.
Caught one of them trying
to thieve from my office.
He wasn't gonna steal anything.
Shut your face unless
I address you personally...
city tart.
[sighs] Go on, Corville.
Well, he was rooting around
but I managed to detain him.
Well, I'm sorry you had
to go through that
this late in the night.
Ah, you know what
these city folk are like.
- City folk.
- Take what they want
when they want.
No, no, that's not true,
all we came to do--
"All we were here to do."
Wah, wah, wah.
Just listen to yourself.
You sound like
a whining little bitch.
You, you--
Well, spit it out, boy.
You can't talk to us like that.
Oh, I can talk to you
however the damn well I please.
You are in so much shit
you don't even know it.
You trespass late at night
on this man's property
and expect to be treated
with some kind of respect.
I got more respect
for the pig shit
on my shoe than you.
Do I make myself clear, Kiwi?
- I'm Australian.
- I said, "Do I make
myself clear?"
Not nod your dopey head
and give me a geography lesson.
So, tell me, do I make myself
crystal fucking clear?
- Yes.
- Yes what?
- Sir.
- No, no, no, no.
You say, "Yes, Officer Grimes,
I understand."
Yes, Officer Grimes,
I understand.
There. Well, now we've got that
all straightened out.
What in God's name
is a Kiwi and a city tart doing,
wandering around
this late at night?
Our friends, they were killed.
Killed?
- By who?
- By these fucking freaks.
Bite it! Will thank you to mind
your fucking language
in front of the lady.
We don't know what they are,
but they killed
two of our friends,
Matt and Tommy.
They started eating them.
Eat them?
Sounds like they've been
on the drugs.
No, no, I swear we haven't.
How many times do I have
to tell you to shut up?
Leave him alone,
we haven't had any drugs.
[handcuffs clinking]
Let us take you
to the warehouse.
They reckon there's
a warehouse around here.
Warehouse?
There ain't be no goddamn
warehouses in these valleys
in all my years.
- Let us take you there.
- You do not tell me
what to do next.
I am an officer of the law
and I will do this my own way.
I've just told you that two
of my friends have been killed.
More are in danger and none
of you seemed concerned.
Oh, I am concerned.
You and your friend here
are unstable.
So, I wanna know what's
been going on from the start.
We broke down at the dead end
near to the valleys.
Oh, then that sounds like
the place to start.
Right. Come on, Kiwi.
This doesn't look like
a police car.
Well, I never said
I was a policeman,
but I am the authority
around here.
Police will be on their way,
don't you worry.
Now get in, both of you.
[sighs]
Ah, that friend of yours
is a hefty bugger, isn't he?
What do you mean?
I had to get him into the boot.
You can't just leave him there.
This isn't the first time I had
a scumbag like him in my boot.
Heh. He'll be fine.
Now stop all your bellyaching.
You know, I got to ask
'cause it's bugging me,
but what brings a group
of city folk like you out
into the middle of nowhere
to a beautiful town like ours?
We-we were going to a festival.
Festival? Ain't no goddamn
festivals around here.
Yeah, we-- we were trying
to take a shortcut.
That sounds about right.
You don't do nothing
the hard way,
do you, city folk?
- Wish we had.
- Mm.
So where was this festival then?
We met a girl called Faye and--
Oh, she one
of your dead friends,
- is she?
- Yes.
Jen met her
at the last gig and--
and she told us
about this festival
in Weston-super-Mare.
Huh? Well, you ain't nowhere
near that place, boy.
Yeah, I don't know
where we are.
Oh, well,
I can help you out there.
You see,
you and your friends here...
Well, you're in a lovely
little place called
A-Lot-Of-Shit-Ville.
Population, three.
Why are you being like this?
Oh. You wake me up
in the middle of the night,
screaming about dead people
and expect me to sit here
and wipe your fucking assholes?
No way. Now, I suggest you keep
your mouth shut until
we get to this van of yours
'cause you're both starting
to piss me off.
Right.
Get over by the van.
That's far enough.
Ooh, yeah. [exhales]
You really have made a mess
of this vehicle.
You say no one was on drugs
or under the influence?
I swear, officer, we weren't.
Well, on a normal day I suppose
I might take your word for it.
Dear me, I think you both know
this ain't no normal day.
Breaking and entering.
We were just looking
for a phone.
- Abandoning a vehicle.
- It was knackered.
And then to top off
a humdinger of a night,
you go and drop a shit bomb.
Cannibals.
It's true.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll get to the truth
of what happened here.
Now you just give me a minute.
- Let's run for it.
- And go where?
Don't think I can't hear
you two yakking out there.
Quiet your lips.
What have we got here?
So, no drugs and no one
under the influence, aye?
- We can explain.
- Oh, no.
You had your fucking
chance to explain
and all you two have done
is lie to me.
Now, I see you try
to bring drugs
into my community too.
Look, look, the pot is mine,
it had nothing to do
with anyone else.
Oh, I remember you being
the most vocal about
denying any drug uses.
There are more important
things than a bag of weed
right now, sir.
Tell me about it.
Mm. [gulps, exhales]
Do you wanna know what I think?
You dumb pieces of pig piss
came out into the lovely
old countryside
for the weekend,
thinking you could do whatever
the hell you wanted to do.
And things got a bit
out of control.
You're wrong.
Yeah, you got all your drugs
and your alcohol inside you
and you couldn't control
yourselves, and--
And then when the shit
hit the fan,
you two are so out
of your heads...
You killed your friends.
- No.
- [laughs]
I bet you enjoyed it too,
didn't you, skinny bollocks?
Yeah, I can see it
in your eyes. You enjoyed it.
- [Jen] Please.
- How did he do it, eh?
- [grunts]
- He got a knife?
- What the fuck?
- And stick it in their chests?
No. Stop, please,
you're hurting him.
Oh, well, you better answer me
pretty quick then,
'cause I see this boy
all covered in blood.
What did he do?
Slit their throats?
No, please. It was the freak
that cut into him.
Well, that sounds like
a pretty sick way
to spend your night.
Seeing as you've seen
such an expert,
why don't you show me?
I can't visualize
anything. Show me.
I won't.
- Show me!
- [sobbing]
- [Jonah] Please!
- You haven't even touched him.
You having me believe
that would slit a boy open?
- [Jonah whimpers] Please...
- Now show me!
[groans]
Fuck you, psycho!
- [grunting]
- [bottle smashing]
You're so dead, boy,
you don't even know it.
- [heavy breathing]
- [car system beeping]
You looking for these?
No! [muffled scream]
[heavy breathing]
[Grimes] Put the Kiwi
in the log cabin and tie him up
till I'm ready for him.
That boy has got a world of pain
coming to him worse than death.
Put her in the chiller.
Hopefully when she wakes up,
she'll join us for some supper.
[cannibal grunts]
[whimpering]
[crying loudly]
Would you do the honors, son?
- [grunts]
- Not the face, you fool.
Resume.
You know the rules.
- [screaming]
- [grunting]
Well, this is some organic meat,
what do you say, boys?
- No...
- [screaming continues]
Do you know what? [exhales]
I think I'm gonna
try myself a titty.
- [grunting]
- [laughing]
- [metal clanks]
- [Carly whimpering]
Well, well, well.
Looks like our little
miss city tart
has woken up. Bulk.
[grunting]
[exerting effort]
So nice of you to join us.
Leave me alone, you psycho!
Oh, I'm not a psycho, my dear.
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry?
There's nothing wrong with us.
It's you city folk be
what's wrong with this world.
Your kind treat my boys
with hostility. They--
They point, they laugh,
they poke fun
just because they don't fit in
like the rest of you.
Bet you're wondering
why this place
don't pop up on no maps.
- This place, my dear.
- [whimpers]
No longer exists.
Jonah, shit!
[Jonah crying]
[grunting]
Oh, my God.
Jonah. Come on, Jonah.
- You alright, you alright?
Yeah?
- Thank you.
I thought I was fucking
freak feast for sure.
It's okay, you're okay.
Breathe, just breathe, okay?
[phone pings]
[whispers] My phone.
You're fucking shitting me?
[both exclaiming]
Fuck! I've never been so happy
to see a message for PPI claims.
- Yes!
- Yes! Fuck!
- Is it ringing? Fuck.
- Yeah.
[dispatcher]
999, what's your emergency?
[stammers]
The fucking police, please.
- Please speak.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, come on, come on.
The battery's gonna die.
Police emergency services,
what is the state
of your emergency?
My dead-- my friends
are all dead,
they're all fucking dead.
Calm down, sir, who is dead?
My-my friends,
we're in a derelict
warehouse in the valleys--
Yeah. Just please send help.
We are currently tracking
your location. It should--
- What? What?
- No, no, no! The phone's dead.
- Fuck!
- No!
No, give me your fucking phone.
Never mind, I fucking
left it in the van.
- The fuck?
- Oh, fuck.
We're dead. We're dead.
We're dead.
Even if we get out of here,
there's no way
we can fucking escape
before they catch us.
There's one option.
Sorry?
I've got a plan, okay?
But I need your help.
Yeah, yeah, this night can't
get any fucking worse. Yes.
Jonah, listen to me,
Jen's pregnant, okay?
I won't let anything
happen to her.
I won't let them kill her.
- Okay?
- [cannibal groaning]
For fuck's sake!
Fuck you! Ugly, fucking--
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
- A dumb fuck!
- [grunting]
Cunt!
You ready?
Yeah, let's fucking do it.
Let's go.
[Grimes] Now, now,
is this any way
to treat our guest?
Don't rub it on her face,
place it inside her mouth.
- Like the gentlemen you are.
- [groans]
- Oh!
- [whimpering]
[cannibals laughing, grunting]
[groaning]
Ow! She bit my finger.
Ah, sit down, you great Jessie.
There's a good boy.
Ohh.
You'll have to forgive him,
he has a short fuse.
But then,
well, if you poke a bear,
you will get mauled.
That's the fuse box.
We're gonna cut the lights.
Wait, wait, wait,
that was your plan?
Just knock out the lights?
That's just step one, okay?
We need every advantage we can.
- Okay?
- I think it's locked. Shit.
Just try to remember that,
little missy.
Wait, wait, stop.
Hammer time.
[light clicks]
Now what the hell?
Well, don't just stand there,
you two go and see
what's going on.
Make sure those two boys
are still where we left them.
- Next step, next step, next--
- Look, look, look,
Chris, Chris.
Look, I know I've been
a pretty shitty friend
but just promise me
you'll get Jen safe.
Why? Why? What?
What are you doing?
- The right thing.
- No, Jonah, Jonah!
[huffs air]
Come on, boys. Come and get me.
Come on, you ugly fucks!
[grunting]
[panting]
Move to England they said.
It'll be much safer
than Australia.
Ha. My fucking ass.
Fuck.
Didn't anyone tell you
that smoking kills?
[fire blazing]
[grunting]
What's going on, boy?
[clatters]
Is that you, Bulk?
Oh, it's you.
If you've hurt a hair
on my pretty boy's head,
I will kill you.
- Die!
- [grunting]
[strained breathing]
[groaning]
Looks like you messed
with the wrong city boy.
Shit. Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.
[groans, coughs]
[coughs, screams]
[heavy breathing]
[gasps] Chris.
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
You bit my finger.
- [grunts]
- [chokes]
[screaming]
Die, you son of a--
[straining]
Faye. You're still alive--
[grunts]
[screaming]
[baby crying]
[indistinct noises]
- [Jen] Chris!
- [Chris groans]
[Jen] No!
No!
And my family
are a bunch of freaks,
Please don't kill me.
No! [sobs]
[Faye laughing]
Kill you?
Now why would
I wanna do that then?
Hm?
[Jen whimpers]
I want your baby.
[Jen crying] No!
[garage door closing]
[Jen] No!
["Turn Around" by ONLAP playing]
[eerie music playing]
[woman screaming distantly]
["Said And Done"
by Andrew Kopacz playing]
- [Roxi exhales]
- [Jamie laughs]
[Roxi] Stop that, or else
I'm pushing you in there later.
- [Danny laughs]
- [Jamie] You know,
I got a better idea.
Why don't we just
throw Danny in instead?
- Oh, I'd love to see you try.
- [Roxi] Yeah.
[Danny] Yeah, well,
I'll tell you what, you're
going to have to stop this car.
- And we'll see.
- [Roxi chuckles]
[Jamie] Oh, beautiful.
[groans]
[grunts]
- Babe.
- Okay, okay, I'm pregnant.
I'm not helpless.
Go unpack the boot, yeah?
I'll be out in a minute.
[sighs]
So tell me how you managed
to scoop this place
all to yourself again?
Well, from what Mary tells me,
it's been unused for years.
Under new management.
And as long as we pay
for the Skis
and stick to our cabin,
we can have the whole place
to ourselves for the weekend
- for the price of one night.
- Oh, nice.
Huh. Right,
let's make it interesting.
If you win, I will fork the bill
out for the weekend, alright?
Alright, and if I win?
[blows raspberries]
Finally make an honest woman
out of my stepsister.
You know that's
the whole reason
we've come away.
Yeah, but you're a pussy.
Look, you're gonna lose
your nerve, just like
you will on that lake.
This way, if you don't man up
and pop the question,
I'll do it for you.
[sighs] Right, are you
gonna unpack or what?
Uh, Danny thinks we should
head up the lake first.
Got all weekend to unpack.
Might as well enjoy the Jet Skis
while the weather's nice.
Don't want Jamie wondering
why he's trailing behind me.
Right, well, you boys
go play with your toys,
I'm off to find the cabin.
Aw, thanks, babe.
Um, we won't be long.
I'll come find you
in a bit, yeah?
It's fine, I could do
with the fresh air.
Mm.
Oh. Alright, alright,
put her down.
Starting to see third-wheeling
with your stepsister
and her boyfriend
- was a bad idea.
- Why don't you shut your mouth?
Make yourself useful
and go and get me a wetsuit.
[sighs] Alright. Jesus.
Don't go too far.
I won't be long.
Who has a bonfire
in the middle of summer?
Country bumpkins having
a spring clean, that's who.
Fucking weirdos.
That is the last time Jamie
gets to pick the vacation spot.
I mean, he said it was a work
in progress, but come on.
[sighs]
Home sweet home.
Oh. [sighs]
[instrumental music
playing distantly]
["Turn Around" by ONLAP playing]
Whoo!
Looks like you're gonna have
to put the pedal to the metal
if you plan on beating me.
I'm just saving it, mate.
Yeah, if you say so.
You know, I, uh...
I'm gonna go check in
on Roxie.
Leave her.
She's probably in her element
without us two annoying her.
I'll be two minutes.
Why don't you get
another practice lap in?
You are so whipped, my friend.
- [imitates slashing]
- Oh, am I?
I'll tell you what,
why don't you go and practice?
See you in a minute.
- Is that how it is, is it?
- Yeah.
Whoo!
Hello?
[instrumental music
playing continues]
[clattering in the distance]
- [toy squeaks]
- [gasps]
[muffled scream]
[Danny screaming distantly]
Danny?
[heavy breathing]
Ah, fuck.
Danny?
Shit. What the fuck?
Roxi!
[panting]
What the fuck?
Roxi!
[gun cocks]
[grunts]
[groaning]
[suspenseful music playing]
[sobbing]
[low growl]
[door closes]
[muffled crying]
[indistinct noises]
[slicing, squelching]
[Danny yells] Roxi!
[man grunts]
No, no! No! No!
[screaming]
["Good For You" by THBD playing]
- [Jonah] What the hell, man?
- Sorry, man.
Okay, that's everything.
Enough chilling,
let's hit the road.
[sighs] Chill out man,
we've still got
a whole day to get there.
And besides,
Matt's gonna call Tommy
and make sure they keep us
a good plot on the site.
Thanks, by the way.
Faye, right?
That's right.
[sighs] For a minute
I thought I was gonna have
to keep calling you
"hot festival girl" in my head.
Ah...
Uh, Faye's--
Faye is a lovely name.
[exhales]
So, I hear you met Jen
in the toilet.
[chuckles] Well, yeah,
if you can call a bush
behind the stage a toilet.
I-I call any bush a toilet.
- [sniffs]
- You know...
that shit will mess up
your brain.
[scoffs] What brain?
Uh, mate, can you smoke
that shit away from us? Please.
Yeah, mum. I'll ask
for permission to wipe
my ass later too.
Yeah, but it's barely
even the afternoon.
Do you really need to get
your high this early?
- Yeah.
- So, Faye, um,
won't your friends wonder
where you got off to?
Well, I didn't really have
anyone with me
to wonder where I went.
You went to Reading Festival
on your own?
Yeah, well, I mean,
I didn't really meet
a lot of people at uni.
And my family
are a bunch of freaks,
so I tend to be
kind of a lone wolf.
Well, uh, you're with us now.
And from the sounds of it,
this festival is gonna be
the best one
to end the summer on.
[phone ringing]
Baby. [grunts]
I should get that.
- Mm. It can wait.
- Carly, Carly, come on.
Carly, stop, stop, stop.
Ah, T-Dogg.
How the travels going, buddy?
Don't T-Dogg me.
You tell Dingo boy
he owes me one.
Leaving me without so he can
get his leg over some hippie.
- What's that about?
- Tommy dear, stop moaning.
You love a sausage party,
got your wish with that lot.
Coming from you, hon.
Ooh, ah,
Jonah was asking if you got
your location deets okay?
Yes, mate,
we're way ahead of you guys.
Come on, let's go,
dopey cunt face.
- Don't forget to save us
a plot, yeah?
- What's that noise?
Oh. Oh, mate, we're going
under a tunnel, oh--
Come on, you joker, hurry up.
- Uh, such a twat.
- Such an asshole.
- Come on, come on,
come on. Let's go.
- Ugh.
Come on. [sighs]
So, Faye, how much longer
left of this journey?
Mm, about four or five hours.
[sighs] Great.
Oh, yes. Where have
you guys been? I thought you
were just taking a thrash.
[chuckles]
What's the big rush for?
- My van, my rules.
- Your mum's van.
[all laughing]
- What?
- He's got a point.
[Carly and Matt laughing]
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, are you alright?
Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.
Yeah. You're just a little bit
more quiet than usual, so...
I just think
it's the travelling,
it's making me feel a bit sick.
Okay, well, if you want me
to stop at any point,
just let me know, yeah?
- Okay.
- Okay.
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
Okay.
- [exhales] Okay.
- Yeah.
All the other seats were taken.
It's like a 16-seater bus.
I give them a week.
You know, they do have
the right idea though.
When you think about
how insignificant we all are.
I mean, the world's like
80 percent covered
by arthropods.
- What is that?
- They.
- Huh?
- The "they," plural.
Um, no, not like
one giant arthropod,
that would be freaking scary.
- Okay? Okay.
- Yeah. Happy?
I trust you, I think.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I-I don't know what that means.
Oh, ants, bugs, insect things.
All of them.
They-- they, plural,
build and mass-produce.
Makes you feel
kind of insignificant,
doesn't it?
Mm. [awkward laugh]
I can make you
feel special again.
Ew. Put your little snake
back in the cage.
That's a serpent,
not an arthropod.
Wow. Tsk.
That's why you're not
getting laid
this weekend, mate.
- You know?
- [chuckles]
Anyway, let's go.
- [engine starts]
- [indistinct]
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
Jesus. Jonah, what the fuck?
Stop the van.
[laughs] I can't stop the van.
I'm in the middle
of the road, so...
Please, I'm gonna be sick.
Yeah, if she's gonna be sick,
do that outside.
It's gonna smell like shit
in here, otherwise.
Yeah, okay, but I'm in
the middle of the road,
I can't stop here.
Look around the corner,
there'll be somewhere
to pull in.
- Can you wait a minute?
- Mm-hmm.
[engine stops]
Oh, God.
Yeah, she almost
did that in here.
[Jen continues vomiting]
Such a dick.
Do you think she drank
too much last night?
I haven't seen her
drink in days.
[Matt] I mean, it's probably
just all the travelling.
I mean, this summer
has been fun, but I am so ready
for my bed next week.
[Matt sighs] Jonah,
give Tommy a call,
see where he's at.
No signal.
Just poppin' outside.
- [tires screeching]
- Fuck! Bloody hell?
- You fucking prick!
- What the fuck is wrong
with that twat?
[exhales sharply]
Sorry, Jonah, that's my fault.
No, no, don't be.
That stupid prick was going
a hundred mile an hour.
Yeah, people around
these places are crazy.
That's what happens
when you're this far
from civilization.
Well, if we catch up with him,
he's gonna be sorry.
Oh, yeah, he really seemed
like the kind of guy
that'd be bothered
by what you think, mate.
- Oh, funny bugger today,
ain't ya?
- Good try.
Alright, Jonah, help me out
with directions, yeah?
Nah, nah, nah,
that's Jen's role.
Uh, no, it's not.
She's not feeling great.
- Hey, you volunteered
yourself, buddy.
- When?
- I didn't.
- [chuckles]
There. See?
We just passed that.
Which took us onto this road.
Looks like another five miles up
when we come to a crossroad.
And the quickest route back
to the main road is on the left.
- Yeah, thank you.
- [sighs]
Charge your bloody phone, T-Dog.
Living in the Stone Age,
no internet.
[Chris sighs]
Guys, we've got a problem.
- You said left, right?
- [Chris] Shit.
I mean, there's gotta be
another way around.
Oh, yeah, well,
it looks like this right lane
eventually leads
back to the motorway,
but it looks like
it's a good old journey around.
Well, we're not blessed
with many other options, are we?
So, um, Faye
have you been this way before?
No, that lane was usually
a main reason
I came by this way.
Cut off a third of the journey
by missing traffic.
Did Tommy have
this problem, Jonah?
Can't we just cut our losses
and go back
the same way we came?
I tried with my 30 seconds
of signal, but his phone
was off, classic Tommy.
Uh, we just spent two hours
getting this far.
You're suggesting
we go back two hours,
uh, head off probably
in the middle of rush hour
back where we started?
Mate, mate, mate, she was only
offering a suggestion.
[Chris] I hate to say this,
but I think I agree with Jonah.
I think we need to crack on.
I mean, I don't think
I even have the petrol
to do Carly's option anyway.
This is perfect.
So we don't have enough petrol
to do the sensible option,
but we have enough to go driving
into the middle of nowhere?
It-it doesn't look like
that big a detour.
I thought there wasn't
that much of a detour.
I ain't Christopher
fucking Columbus,
I just saw that the distance
was like this much.
That could be any amount
of distance on a map, you pleb.
Thought you came from the land
of being good with directions.
- Crocodile Dundee
will be disappointed.
- [Carly laughs]
Come on, guys, I'm sure
we'll find something soon.
Yeah, but, Faye, we've been
on this road for literally ages.
And this map is--
All the directions on this map
aren't even showing up
on the road.
Jonah, have you spoken
to Tommy yet?
No signal to get in touch
with Tommy,
and why are you
blaming me now too?
Well, maybe if you didn't
smoke so much weed,
you could actually
read directions.
Uh, my mind is as clear as day.
It's this stupid map.
It's broke or something.
- [laughs]
- You are such a dumb shit.
How can a map be broke?
You literally sound
like an idiot.
Do I look like
the kind of person
who can read a map?
I-I google everything.
And how do you think I did
half of my work at uni?
And since we're in the lovely
heart of fucking nowhere,
I don't have any signal
to google how the fucking hell
we get out of here.
Ugh, this is the last time
I'm going on a trip
with you, mate.
Oh, you say that
like I actually give
a flying fuck.
- Guys...
- Don't get me
started on you, ranger.
Oh, shut up, guys, look.
- Finally, I hope they have
a bathroom.
- And how is that gonna help us?
It won't, but for the first time
in 48 hours,
I might be able to use a toilet
rather than a bush
and some leaves.
Guys, just literally
for a second,
just quit getting
at each other's throats, okay?
We'll stop here,
we'll get some directions. Yeah?
Can't see much business
for a pub
in the middle of nowhere.
- [grunts]
- Yep.
But that's why we have
to go in and ask
because it doesn't make sense
there's a pub
in the middle of nowhere.
So, there's gotta be
a town nearby.
[sighs] Yeah, I agree.
I could kill for something
to eat too.
Yeah, well, let's go in,
ask for directions.
We can't be that far off.
Don't you think
we should bring Jen in with us?
No, let her sleep,
she hasn't been
feeling too good.
Best to let her sleep it off.
Oh, damn, that's some
funky-smelling
countryside shit.
Hello?
Is anyone in?
[bell ringing]
- I guess no one's in.
- [woman] Wipe your feet.
I like to keep a clean place.
Shitty feet, shitty place.
Wipe your feet.
Um, s-sorry, sorry. Sorry.
Um, sorry about that.
Um, I was just wondering
if you can help us.
Um, we've been going
on this road for hours
and we just need directions
to the main road.
- Can you help us with that?
- You out-of-towners,
you're always coming around here
asking for directions.
I can help.
I'll just go and speak
to my husband Corville.
He knows these roads well.
Thank you.
You think she'd mind
if I use the bathroom?
Yeah. I'd go now.
I reckon we should
get out of here
as quick as possible.
[heavy sigh]
[groans]
Next year we're going abroad.
[groaning]
[groaning]
You still fancy some tucker?
[Matt] You know what,
I think I'll be okay.
What kind of freaks
eat this shit?
That "shit" be the freshest meat
you ever hope to buy.
You clumsy twat.
You best watch your mouth, boy,
around my beautiful wife.
Sorry, sir. [chuckles]
I didn't mean to cause
any offense.
You city folk...
- City folk.
- ...think you're so much
better than us.
I tell you, that's the finest
goddamn meat you'll put
in your mouth in your life.
Too much of that old McDonald's
blended beaks crap.
- Beak.
- You don't know
what good meat is.
Jonah, you're sorry.
He's-- he's sorry.
Uh, sometimes he just-- He is--
He talks ten seconds faster
than his brain thinks, he's--
Um, your wife, um...
- Marylin.
- Marylin.
Named after Monroe.
Mummy said she's never seen
such a beauty.
More like Manson.
- [laughs]
- [Chris] Oh, shut it.
- Something funny, boys?
- Nah, mate.
She was just helping us
with directions.
Can you-- can you help us
to the main road?
- Oh, you're in the valleys now.
- Valleys.
They don't make maps
of the valleys
around these parts.
Roads your on will only
lead you to a dead end.
[mouths] Dead end.
[map rustling]
That's us here.
You wanna carry on
going in this direction
until you get
to a steel gate fence.
And you wanna follow
this red-dotted route.
Dotted route.
That will take us
to the main road?
It's right there on the map,
you can't get clearer than that.
[map rustling]
[eerie music playing]
[gasps]
[Carly screaming]
What was that?
Why the hell is there blood
on your bathroom towels?
Well, if you had the manners
to ask in the first place,
I would've told you
we've been slaughtering
this week's produce.
And I like to keep
my hands fresh on the towels.
Which I would always make sure
were clean for opening hours.
We are closed,
for your information,
Miss loudmouth, free-pissing
in my toilets, out-of-towner.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, whoa, calm down.
- You watch your language.
We're sorry, okay? We're sorry
for the inconvenience.
Thank you for your help.
Can we have the map please?
- Sure, you can.
- [sighs] Thank you.
For a fair price.
How much?
That's my best map.
I'd say 30 quid ought to do it.
Thirty quid for a map?
Well, good luck finding
your way back without it then.
No, no, it's--
That's-- that's fine, that's--
That's perfectly,
perfectly fine.
Um, 30 quid.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- [screams]
- What the fuck?
Okay, can everyone
please stop scaring
the bloody crap out of me?
- Where are we?
- Big trouble if you ask me.
- [groans]
- Don't listen to him.
We got a bit lost and stopped
to ask for directions.
Some creepy couple pointed out
the way back to the main road.
Oh, I thought
we'd be there by now.
Oh, well, I don't think
we're too far
from the main road.
Maybe like, ugh,
another hour or so?
Okay, so according to this,
the turning is just further
up this road.
Sweet.
Jen, how are you feeling?
We saw you were sleeping
so we just left you to it.
It's okay, I just don't think
I wanna spend another night
on this bus.
[laughs] Yeah, okay.
Well, once we get on the road,
we'll stop at the first hotel,
you can get a proper
night's sleep.
How about that?
Yes, Chris is putting us up
in a hotel for the night.
- Whoo!
- [laughs] Okay, yeah,
you're sleeping in the van.
Nah, it'd be more fun
without you anyway.
And then what?
In the morning we head home,
the trip's over, right?
Huh? What, you're shitting me?
Yes, I am more than happy
to go home.
Same here, I need a hot shower
and be as far from Jonah
as possible.
We come all the way
out here for nothing?
- What a letdown.
- I think it's for the best.
I can hitch a ride
in the morning.
You're more than welcome
to come with me.
I don't think
the hitching life is for me.
I guess I'll be travelling back
with this boring bunch then?
Okay, sorted. Let's go.
[engine starts]
[van revving]
Okay. Okay.
Okay. I mean, there it is,
just like he said.
Jonah, can you--
Matt, can you help me out,
mate? With the gate.
- Sure thing.
- [coughs] Cheers.
[coughing]
Jonah this. I know.
[sighs]
You wanna see me?
Yeah, well, I wanna see
why you can do it
so much better than me.
Ha-ha, you wanna see?
You wanna see?
I can be trusted.
- Well done.
- [chuckles]
Good, good job.
Okay, so supposedly we just
go down that dirt road
for about five miles.
And then we get
to the main road
and the valleys.
If you say so.
My experience of maps
today is that they lie.
Well, the thing about maps
is that they're not designed
for simple creatures
like yourself, mate.
[scoffs]
You got something
to say, say it.
- Ladies first.
- Tsk. Rude.
- Hey, you okay?
- [yawns]
Yeah, I'm just down for power.
Nearly a full moon tonight.
[clicks tongue] Oh, yeah?
You scared the werewolf
will come get you?
Nah, I don't believe
in the kid stuff.
But there is a Chinese myth
about the full moon
on the seventh lunar month.
Seventh lunar month?
You're such a loser,
just say July.
I didn't know we had
an impressionist on our hands.
That's how the myth says it
and it's actually in August,
smart-ass.
Wait, I thought I heard
it was a red moon.
Yeah, you heard wrong.
You need more useful sources.
Oh, I'm sorry,
is Ask Jeeves too out of date?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Oh, my God. You guys are like
an old married couple.
- Yeah, and he's my bitch.
- Ha-ha! He wishes.
- Anyway, back to my myth.
- Oh, so it's your myth?
Where did you come from?
I thought it was a Chinese myth.
The myth is of course Chinese
but being brought to you
by me, Jonah.
- On the seventh lunar month--
- August.
- When there's a full moon--
- Oh, not red?
- The myth goes--
- Your myth?
The Chinese myth goes that
the gates of hell will open up
and the spirits of the dead
will be free to roam the Earth
and feed.
You are full of so much crap.
It's true. They do festivals
and all kinds of stuff for it.
Wait-wait, so it's in China
that this stuff happens?
Yeah, Matt, it's a Chinese myth.
Well done for sleuthing
that one out.
What I mean is,
this only relates
if we we're in China?
- Yes.
- Which we're not.
I gathered.
So again, there's another
five minutes of my life
I'll never get back.
- Thanks, mate.
- Your parents must be so proud.
You know what? You poms
are gonna miss me when I leave.
- Shit! Ugh!
- Ah, fuck!
- Ow.
- Shit, Matt. Are you okay?
Does it look like
I'm okay? [groans]
Guys, I'm so sorry,
I-I have no idea
what's going on with the van.
Something's--
something is going on.
- What?
- I have no idea.
It's just happened.
I mean, I'll get out.
I assume it's the engine.
[Faye] Here.
This will sterilize the wound.
[Carly] Um,
who made you a doctor?
No one, but I do have
first aid training
from my time in the TA.
[heavy sigh]
It's like someone's desperate
to make sure we never get
to this festival.
You know what?
If we can't get
to this festival,
then let's bring
the party here.
- Yeah!
- [laughter]
- Party!
- Whoo!
[Matt] Jonah, have you not seen
what's just happened?
Oh, you'll be 'right,
bit of fresh air
will do you some good.
- What the hell?
- And you smell. Get out.
Come on, let's go.
- Ow, my head. My head.
- Eh, you'll be alright.
["Only You" by Kaedn playing]
["Only You" by Kaedn
playing continues]
[tense music playing]
Okay, okay, sit down,
Matt. Relax.
Uh, Chris, what's happening
with the engine?
I mean, I literally
have no idea,
but I don't think
there's anything I can do.
Um, from the looks of the map,
we shouldn't be too far away
from where we need to be.
So, I think our best bet
is to walk through
and get some help.
Mm, no, Matt's not
going anywhere.
His injury doesn't look too bad,
but you can never be sure
if he has a concussion.
[Carly] Okay, so we go
get help and come back?
No, you should stay
because like Faye said,
he might have a concussion
and if he falls asleep,
he could go into a coma.
Aww. [clicks tongue]
Well, if something
were to happen,
it's probably best if I'm around
because I'm the only one
who would be able to help.
Shall I stay too?
Well, to be fair, um,
it's probably best
if you go with these guys.
Matt needs all the space
he can have to relax.
And also, if someone
does pass by, it would give us
another option for help.
[sighs] Right, I mean,
I'm ready to go.
[Carly] Okay, let's go then.
I'll see you later.
See you later.
We'll be fine, yeah.
Oh, it's so hot.
[scoffs]
Here, this will help you
with your head.
[heavy sigh] Thanks.
How's it looking?
Mm. It's really not that bad.
- [laughs]
- Yeah?
Can I tell you a little secret?
Sure.
I don't really have
any medical training.
What I should have said...
is that I'm really good
with my hands.
[heavy breathing]
And with my mouth.
- And with my whole body. Shh.
- I... I think maybe we should--
["The Cards" by LAU playing]
Fuck it.
[Jen] Sorry about
your mum's van.
[Chris] Yeah,
she's gonna be pissed.
That cigarette burn I made
on the back seat
doesn't look so bad now.
What cigarette burn, huh?
Oh, the-the secret
cigarette burn.
Whoops.
Ugh, you always know
just what to say,
don't you, Jonah?
- Chris, don't listen to him.
- [Carly] Ugh, no way.
- Oh, shit.
- Shit, shit, shit!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hey, calm down.
- No, I won't fucking calm down.
We followed that bogan's
stupid directions and it led us
to the middle of nowhere.
We've got no car, no food,
no signal, we're fucked.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sighs] Carly is gonna kill me.
Mm. [clicks tongue]
Yeah, but it was worth it.
Ugh.
Just gonna go for a leak.
Mm. Don't go too far.
It's dark outside.
I said we should've turned back
when we had the chance
when we got
to the cross section.
Well, shoulda woulda coulda
ain't gonna be of help
right now, okay?
No, no, but telling us all
to calm down is gonna
magically transport us
back to civilization
on a magic
fucking carpet, is it?
You know what,
I'm sick of your shit, okay?
All you do is moan and complain.
You're supposed to be my mate.
- Chris.
- Don't think this night
could get any worse.
Well, we could all die I guess.
What? That would be worse.
Right?
- Chris.
- Yeah?
Have a look at this.
There's a light.
[chuckles]
Well, if there's a light,
there's people, right?
Yeah, most probably.
Let's go.
Matt?
Matt?
Matt?
Matt?
Fuck! You scared me.
I'm not that scary, am I?
[chuckles]
Mm.
[screams]
[Chris] There it is.
That's weird, it doesn't
look like the place
has been used in years.
I get that, but we know
someone's here,
someone's definitely been here,
so surely if we go in
and we find anyone,
they could give us directions
to the nearest town.
Or at the very least,
use their phone, right?
- What was that?
- [sighs]
We're by the woods,
could have been anything.
You see, I grew up
in the outback.
The most dangerous
place on earth.
So I'm used to weird noises.
Probably just a couple
of animals mating.
- Okay, alright.
- I know the difference
between a scream
and the sound of a koala
fucking a kangaroo.
Yeah, that's not even
physically possible.
Unless it's a big-ass koala.
Okay, look, it's not
a big-ass koala.
We're in the middle of nowhere,
in the forest.
It-it's some random animal.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, I'm hardly Chris'
biggest fan today.
Whoa, why?
But if that was a scream,
then surely, we should be
doing everything possible
to get some help.
Yeah, I mean, I agree.
Let's crack on, okay?
Come on.
[Chris] Oh, here we go.
This place has lights on.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so electricity,
phones, they got it.
That's not--
This is what I said.
- Cool, cool.
- Right?
We're sorted.
Right, let's go over here.
- Come on.
- [Carly laughs]
[Chris] Yeah, what now?
[laughs]
Would you rather be
a wolf for a day
or a sheep for a hundred?
- A sheep for 100 days?
- Yeah.
- Or a wolf for one day?
- Yeah.
I'd rather be a wolf
for one day.
- Okay.
- Wow. Why?
God, this place is a hot spot
for dumping stuff. Look at this.
Yeah, some of these cars
don't look in too bad
condition though.
It doesn't make sense.
Do you reckon they're write-offs
and they just leave 'em here?
What's that?
Uh, looks like
a ranger's truck to me.
No, not that. This.
This is the car
Tommy was driving.
No way.
What would that car
be doing here?
Jonah, I promise you.
We FaceTimed him earlier,
it's the exact same one.
I swear it.
Oh! There's a radio in there.
Whoa!
[beeps, static sound]
Hello, is anyone there?
Can you hear me?
Huh. That's strange.
- Oh!
- Jonah!
Oh, the ghost of Tommy
is grabbing my arm.
You're such an idiot.
Tommy could be in real danger
and you're playing pranks.
[sighs]
You're just being paranoid,
this isn't that car.
Hello, is anyone there?
Me and my friends
have broken down.
One of us has a serious
head injury
and needs medical attention
as soon as possible.
Tell them Tommy is missing.
- We're hungry too, say that.
- [radio static]
What? If they're sending
medical supplies,
they can send a sandwich too.
- Ugh.
- You're unbelievable.
I'm just saying
what we're all thinking.
Shh, shh, shh.
[radio static]
Nah, this is a waste of time,
let's go.
[heavy sigh]
[Chris] Oh, look, a fuse box.
Oh, that means someone
is definitely here then.
- Ugh. I've got a bad feeling
about this.
- Don't say that.
- If this was a horror film--
- It's not.
Yeah, but if it was,
those will pretty much
be your last words.
Anything is better
than being out here
with Jonah.
- Come on, let's go inside.
- Rude.
I'm gonna stay here.
If I see anyone,
I can let you know.
Are you sure? I'd rather
we all just stuck together.
It's fine. This place
just really creeps me out.
- Okay, if you're sure.
- Just be quick.
[sighs, coughs] Okay.
Hello, is anyone in there?
Right, Jonah,
can you just go in there,
have a look around,
let us know
if you see anything, okay?
We'll be in there in...
two seconds.
Sure, nothing like
safety in numbers.
[exhales] Two seconds.
What's up?
The place is creeping me out.
[tense music playing]
Oh, fucking pig.
Haven't these guys
heard of pizza?
I'd rather eat my own spew.
Let there be light.
I mean, there's gotta be
a phone here somewhere.
What if there isn't?
What are we gonna do?
It's gonna be fine.
If there's not a phone here,
then we go back to the car
for the night.
First thing in the morning,
Jonah and I will go back
to the caf.
If we leave early enough,
we'll be back
by nighttime, so...
How's that?
- Okay.
- Yeah?
[Jonah] You've gotta be
fucking kidding me.
Shit.
Shit. Guys, guys,
we've gotta go.
Chris, Jen!
Tommy's guitar, fucking bones
on the floor-- The-the fridge--
What? Tommy's--
Jonah, what are you saying?
No, no, not Tommy,
his guitar. His guitar.
It's a fucking the warehouse
from hell over there, man.
What's Tommy's guitar
be doing here?
You're not making any sense.
I'm certain it's Tommy's,
okay? We--
There's dead people
all over the place,
we need to leave now.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
- Hide now.
- Shit.
Shit. Shit.
You gotta be kidding me.
[car door opens]
[eerie music playing]
[metal clattering]
[suspenseful music playing]
[metal clanks]
[metal slicing]
[thuds]
- [gasps]
- Shh.
[grunts]
[groans]
[sobs, coughs]
Listen to me. Listen to me.
We'll be fine, we'll be fine.
Okay they'll-- they'll
leave soon,
or they'll get to see it,
or they'll get distracted.
Then we've got to make
our move, okay? Come on.
Can you do that for me?
[heavy breathing]
I'm pregnant.
[both sobbing]
- [choking]
- [metal clanking]
[choking, groaning]
[screaming]
[squelching]
- [Matt whimpering]
- [cannibal grunting]
[heavy breathing]
[munching]
- Okay?
- [heavy breathing] Okay.
- [lips smack]
- Let's go.
[loud slam]
[whispering] Go, go, go, go, go!
[heavy breathing]
[whimpering]
[screams, whimpers]
Shh, shh, shh.
[cannibal screams]
Oh, no, no, no! [screams]
- [grunts] Jonah! Jonah!
- Oh, I'm glad to see you two.
Did you see what those
sick fucks did to Matt?
- Yeah, we saw it. We saw.
- What-- Why are they
doing this?
- We've got to go.
- They're fucking sick.
- I think they fucking
found Carly.
- Shit.
[crying]
Buggy-- the buggy.
The buggy. Come on.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- I'm trying, I'm trying,
I'm trying.
- Chris.
- What?
Please, please, please help me.
- [Carly screaming]
- [cannibal grunting]
Sick fuck! Leave me alone!
- Fuck! Go, go, go, go!
- Oh, please. [cries]
- [engine starts]
- Yes, come on. Come on.
- [cannibals grunting]
- [gasping]
Fuck. [crying]
[Carly screams, cries]
Jen, Jen, Jen! Jen! Jen!
What about Carly?
["Stunning" by LAU playing]
Chris. Chris, what about Carly?
If we stop this car, we die.
[Carly screaming]
Please! No! Sick fucks!
Leave me alone!
No, no!
[sobs] Help! Help!
He's right, he's right.
Jen, we can't go back.
You selfish pricks.
If we went back for her,
we'd all die.
What the fuck
were those things?
They're cutting each
other open, eating each other,
how can they do that?
God, one of the freaks
slashed the wheels.
- We're gonna stop.
- [whimpers]
No, no, no, fuck. No, no!
- No! No! Fuck!
- [crying]
That pub, that pub shouldn't be
too far away, let's fucking go.
Let's go there!
You reckon anyone's in?
I'm gonna check out
the back, okay?
Just be careful.
Let's check out around here.
[door creaks]
- Excuse me?
- [metal clanks]
Sorry for coming in like this.
We just, um...
We did try and find you.
I was out feeding the pigs.
Are you two okay?
Why are you covered in blood?
We followed the map
you gave us,
and it led us to a warehouse
filled with freaks.
Jonah, calm down.
Warehouse?
There's no warehouse
around here.
They knew what they were doing.
- [metal clanks]
- [thuds]
That can't be right.
Darling, I've been living
in this place for 20 years.
I think I'd know if there was
a warehouse around here or not.
They killed at least
two of our friends!
Who killed your friends?
There's these freak fucking
cannibals is who!
I told you before, boy,
you will watch your mouth
around my goddamn wife.
You're not listening to me!
[stammers]
These people, they've fucking
killed our friends.
Corville, I think we need
to call the authority.
Already done it.
I ain't taking my eyes
off of these two.
I just caught one of you trying
to thieve from my office.
What have you done to Chris?
He was just--
I didn't do nothing to that boy
he didn't have coming to him.
If you've hurt him...
You'll what, skinny legs?
Stop your threats, he's fine.
You two be the ones
in trouble soon.
Got yourselves a whole lot
of explaining to do.
He was pissed as it was that
I rung him this late at night.
When you two start giving him
your Mickey Mouse story...
[Jen] It's true.
Yeah, right, of course it is.
What is wrong with you people?
How often do people tell you
that their friends
have been killed
by some sick freaks?
- Nothing surprises us.
- Nothing.
- When it comes to you,
city folk.
- City folk.
Coming around here thinking
you can do whatever
the hell you want.
Whatever the hell you want.
Better get your story straight.
He's here.
[Grimes] Marylin.
- Evening, Corville.
- Evening.
Evening, Marylin.
Thanks for coming out so late.
We didn't know what to do.
Well, I heard you were
having some trouble.
Caught one of them trying
to thieve from my office.
He wasn't gonna steal anything.
Shut your face unless
I address you personally...
city tart.
[sighs] Go on, Corville.
Well, he was rooting around
but I managed to detain him.
Well, I'm sorry you had
to go through that
this late in the night.
Ah, you know what
these city folk are like.
- City folk.
- Take what they want
when they want.
No, no, that's not true,
all we came to do--
"All we were here to do."
Wah, wah, wah.
Just listen to yourself.
You sound like
a whining little bitch.
You, you--
Well, spit it out, boy.
You can't talk to us like that.
Oh, I can talk to you
however the damn well I please.
You are in so much shit
you don't even know it.
You trespass late at night
on this man's property
and expect to be treated
with some kind of respect.
I got more respect
for the pig shit
on my shoe than you.
Do I make myself clear, Kiwi?
- I'm Australian.
- I said, "Do I make
myself clear?"
Not nod your dopey head
and give me a geography lesson.
So, tell me, do I make myself
crystal fucking clear?
- Yes.
- Yes what?
- Sir.
- No, no, no, no.
You say, "Yes, Officer Grimes,
I understand."
Yes, Officer Grimes,
I understand.
There. Well, now we've got that
all straightened out.
What in God's name
is a Kiwi and a city tart doing,
wandering around
this late at night?
Our friends, they were killed.
Killed?
- By who?
- By these fucking freaks.
Bite it! Will thank you to mind
your fucking language
in front of the lady.
We don't know what they are,
but they killed
two of our friends,
Matt and Tommy.
They started eating them.
Eat them?
Sounds like they've been
on the drugs.
No, no, I swear we haven't.
How many times do I have
to tell you to shut up?
Leave him alone,
we haven't had any drugs.
[handcuffs clinking]
Let us take you
to the warehouse.
They reckon there's
a warehouse around here.
Warehouse?
There ain't be no goddamn
warehouses in these valleys
in all my years.
- Let us take you there.
- You do not tell me
what to do next.
I am an officer of the law
and I will do this my own way.
I've just told you that two
of my friends have been killed.
More are in danger and none
of you seemed concerned.
Oh, I am concerned.
You and your friend here
are unstable.
So, I wanna know what's
been going on from the start.
We broke down at the dead end
near to the valleys.
Oh, then that sounds like
the place to start.
Right. Come on, Kiwi.
This doesn't look like
a police car.
Well, I never said
I was a policeman,
but I am the authority
around here.
Police will be on their way,
don't you worry.
Now get in, both of you.
[sighs]
Ah, that friend of yours
is a hefty bugger, isn't he?
What do you mean?
I had to get him into the boot.
You can't just leave him there.
This isn't the first time I had
a scumbag like him in my boot.
Heh. He'll be fine.
Now stop all your bellyaching.
You know, I got to ask
'cause it's bugging me,
but what brings a group
of city folk like you out
into the middle of nowhere
to a beautiful town like ours?
We-we were going to a festival.
Festival? Ain't no goddamn
festivals around here.
Yeah, we-- we were trying
to take a shortcut.
That sounds about right.
You don't do nothing
the hard way,
do you, city folk?
- Wish we had.
- Mm.
So where was this festival then?
We met a girl called Faye and--
Oh, she one
of your dead friends,
- is she?
- Yes.
Jen met her
at the last gig and--
and she told us
about this festival
in Weston-super-Mare.
Huh? Well, you ain't nowhere
near that place, boy.
Yeah, I don't know
where we are.
Oh, well,
I can help you out there.
You see,
you and your friends here...
Well, you're in a lovely
little place called
A-Lot-Of-Shit-Ville.
Population, three.
Why are you being like this?
Oh. You wake me up
in the middle of the night,
screaming about dead people
and expect me to sit here
and wipe your fucking assholes?
No way. Now, I suggest you keep
your mouth shut until
we get to this van of yours
'cause you're both starting
to piss me off.
Right.
Get over by the van.
That's far enough.
Ooh, yeah. [exhales]
You really have made a mess
of this vehicle.
You say no one was on drugs
or under the influence?
I swear, officer, we weren't.
Well, on a normal day I suppose
I might take your word for it.
Dear me, I think you both know
this ain't no normal day.
Breaking and entering.
We were just looking
for a phone.
- Abandoning a vehicle.
- It was knackered.
And then to top off
a humdinger of a night,
you go and drop a shit bomb.
Cannibals.
It's true.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll get to the truth
of what happened here.
Now you just give me a minute.
- Let's run for it.
- And go where?
Don't think I can't hear
you two yakking out there.
Quiet your lips.
What have we got here?
So, no drugs and no one
under the influence, aye?
- We can explain.
- Oh, no.
You had your fucking
chance to explain
and all you two have done
is lie to me.
Now, I see you try
to bring drugs
into my community too.
Look, look, the pot is mine,
it had nothing to do
with anyone else.
Oh, I remember you being
the most vocal about
denying any drug uses.
There are more important
things than a bag of weed
right now, sir.
Tell me about it.
Mm. [gulps, exhales]
Do you wanna know what I think?
You dumb pieces of pig piss
came out into the lovely
old countryside
for the weekend,
thinking you could do whatever
the hell you wanted to do.
And things got a bit
out of control.
You're wrong.
Yeah, you got all your drugs
and your alcohol inside you
and you couldn't control
yourselves, and--
And then when the shit
hit the fan,
you two are so out
of your heads...
You killed your friends.
- No.
- [laughs]
I bet you enjoyed it too,
didn't you, skinny bollocks?
Yeah, I can see it
in your eyes. You enjoyed it.
- [Jen] Please.
- How did he do it, eh?
- [grunts]
- He got a knife?
- What the fuck?
- And stick it in their chests?
No. Stop, please,
you're hurting him.
Oh, well, you better answer me
pretty quick then,
'cause I see this boy
all covered in blood.
What did he do?
Slit their throats?
No, please. It was the freak
that cut into him.
Well, that sounds like
a pretty sick way
to spend your night.
Seeing as you've seen
such an expert,
why don't you show me?
I can't visualize
anything. Show me.
I won't.
- Show me!
- [sobbing]
- [Jonah] Please!
- You haven't even touched him.
You having me believe
that would slit a boy open?
- [Jonah whimpers] Please...
- Now show me!
[groans]
Fuck you, psycho!
- [grunting]
- [bottle smashing]
You're so dead, boy,
you don't even know it.
- [heavy breathing]
- [car system beeping]
You looking for these?
No! [muffled scream]
[heavy breathing]
[Grimes] Put the Kiwi
in the log cabin and tie him up
till I'm ready for him.
That boy has got a world of pain
coming to him worse than death.
Put her in the chiller.
Hopefully when she wakes up,
she'll join us for some supper.
[cannibal grunts]
[whimpering]
[crying loudly]
Would you do the honors, son?
- [grunts]
- Not the face, you fool.
Resume.
You know the rules.
- [screaming]
- [grunting]
Well, this is some organic meat,
what do you say, boys?
- No...
- [screaming continues]
Do you know what? [exhales]
I think I'm gonna
try myself a titty.
- [grunting]
- [laughing]
- [metal clanks]
- [Carly whimpering]
Well, well, well.
Looks like our little
miss city tart
has woken up. Bulk.
[grunting]
[exerting effort]
So nice of you to join us.
Leave me alone, you psycho!
Oh, I'm not a psycho, my dear.
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry?
There's nothing wrong with us.
It's you city folk be
what's wrong with this world.
Your kind treat my boys
with hostility. They--
They point, they laugh,
they poke fun
just because they don't fit in
like the rest of you.
Bet you're wondering
why this place
don't pop up on no maps.
- This place, my dear.
- [whimpers]
No longer exists.
Jonah, shit!
[Jonah crying]
[grunting]
Oh, my God.
Jonah. Come on, Jonah.
- You alright, you alright?
Yeah?
- Thank you.
I thought I was fucking
freak feast for sure.
It's okay, you're okay.
Breathe, just breathe, okay?
[phone pings]
[whispers] My phone.
You're fucking shitting me?
[both exclaiming]
Fuck! I've never been so happy
to see a message for PPI claims.
- Yes!
- Yes! Fuck!
- Is it ringing? Fuck.
- Yeah.
[dispatcher]
999, what's your emergency?
[stammers]
The fucking police, please.
- Please speak.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, come on, come on.
The battery's gonna die.
Police emergency services,
what is the state
of your emergency?
My dead-- my friends
are all dead,
they're all fucking dead.
Calm down, sir, who is dead?
My-my friends,
we're in a derelict
warehouse in the valleys--
Yeah. Just please send help.
We are currently tracking
your location. It should--
- What? What?
- No, no, no! The phone's dead.
- Fuck!
- No!
No, give me your fucking phone.
Never mind, I fucking
left it in the van.
- The fuck?
- Oh, fuck.
We're dead. We're dead.
We're dead.
Even if we get out of here,
there's no way
we can fucking escape
before they catch us.
There's one option.
Sorry?
I've got a plan, okay?
But I need your help.
Yeah, yeah, this night can't
get any fucking worse. Yes.
Jonah, listen to me,
Jen's pregnant, okay?
I won't let anything
happen to her.
I won't let them kill her.
- Okay?
- [cannibal groaning]
For fuck's sake!
Fuck you! Ugly, fucking--
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
- A dumb fuck!
- [grunting]
Cunt!
You ready?
Yeah, let's fucking do it.
Let's go.
[Grimes] Now, now,
is this any way
to treat our guest?
Don't rub it on her face,
place it inside her mouth.
- Like the gentlemen you are.
- [groans]
- Oh!
- [whimpering]
[cannibals laughing, grunting]
[groaning]
Ow! She bit my finger.
Ah, sit down, you great Jessie.
There's a good boy.
Ohh.
You'll have to forgive him,
he has a short fuse.
But then,
well, if you poke a bear,
you will get mauled.
That's the fuse box.
We're gonna cut the lights.
Wait, wait, wait,
that was your plan?
Just knock out the lights?
That's just step one, okay?
We need every advantage we can.
- Okay?
- I think it's locked. Shit.
Just try to remember that,
little missy.
Wait, wait, stop.
Hammer time.
[light clicks]
Now what the hell?
Well, don't just stand there,
you two go and see
what's going on.
Make sure those two boys
are still where we left them.
- Next step, next step, next--
- Look, look, look,
Chris, Chris.
Look, I know I've been
a pretty shitty friend
but just promise me
you'll get Jen safe.
Why? Why? What?
What are you doing?
- The right thing.
- No, Jonah, Jonah!
[huffs air]
Come on, boys. Come and get me.
Come on, you ugly fucks!
[grunting]
[panting]
Move to England they said.
It'll be much safer
than Australia.
Ha. My fucking ass.
Fuck.
Didn't anyone tell you
that smoking kills?
[fire blazing]
[grunting]
What's going on, boy?
[clatters]
Is that you, Bulk?
Oh, it's you.
If you've hurt a hair
on my pretty boy's head,
I will kill you.
- Die!
- [grunting]
[strained breathing]
[groaning]
Looks like you messed
with the wrong city boy.
Shit. Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.
[groans, coughs]
[coughs, screams]
[heavy breathing]
[gasps] Chris.
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
You bit my finger.
- [grunts]
- [chokes]
[screaming]
Die, you son of a--
[straining]
Faye. You're still alive--
[grunts]
[screaming]
[baby crying]
[indistinct noises]
- [Jen] Chris!
- [Chris groans]
[Jen] No!
No!
And my family
are a bunch of freaks,
Please don't kill me.
No! [sobs]
[Faye laughing]
Kill you?
Now why would
I wanna do that then?
Hm?
[Jen whimpers]
I want your baby.
[Jen crying] No!
[garage door closing]
[Jen] No!
["Turn Around" by ONLAP playing]